The Aquilian - December 2019 - Vol. 82, No. 3

The Aquilian December 2019 Volume 82 Number 3

Gonzaga College High School Men For Others Since 1821

19 Eye St, NW Washington, DC 20001

District of Champions By: Josh Knutsen ‘20 Managing Editor Last year, we were spoiled by Gonzaga Athletics with titles in football, basketball, and a host of other sports. While the Eagles weren’t able to recapture the WCAC gridiron crown, both the Cross Country and Soccer teams managed to kickstart the fall with success.

Gonzaga XC took home the Triple Crown of a WCAC title, DCSAA State Champi-

onship, and the Jesuit Championship held at Van Cortlandt Park in New York City.

Concluding his final season in purple, Gavin McElhennon ‘20 said that winning this prestigious trifecta made, “running almost every day over the summer,” worth it.

Cullen Capuano ‘20 who won all three Triple Crown races said, “We all had high expectations for this season, but I don’t think anyone could have predicted that we would

have had as much success as we did. Because of our hard work throughout the summer and over the course of the season, we were able to perform at the best of our ability when it mattered and were able to come away with a trio of championships.”

Cross country wasn’t the only group bringing home gold. The soccer team exorcised some old demons, defeating the Heights on the way to a WCAC cham-

pionship win against Good Counsel. Seeded low, Gonzaga took the tournament by storm and surprised everyone with an appearance in the finals. “It was great to prove people wrong,” remarked center midfielder Max Ludwikowski ‘20. Behind two late goals and a crowd of purple, the Eagles finished the job in dramatic fashion 2-1.

After sending the Falcons back home to Olney with a tap in, Finn McCaslin erased

Freshman Hoco p. 3

Gonzaga Service p. 4,5

Sports p. 6

Xmas Song Rankings p. 7

the bitter, “shortcomings of last year,” and delivered, “a picture perfect ending to the [WCAC] season.” A week later, Gonzaga beat Sidwell Friends 3-0 to add another DC States title to their trophy case.

After phenomenal performances by both teams, Gonzaga hopes to build on this success in winter sports.

Congratulations to both Cross Country and Soccer.

Hail Gonzaga.

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Gaming, Esports, and Josh Singh ‘20 By: Mike O’Reilly ‘20 Senior Writer A video game is an electronic game that involves interaction with a user interface to generate visual feedback, and the purpose is to offer entertainment, relaxation, challenges, or an escape from our sometimes dull and monotonous lives.

Almost half of teens and young adults play video games, but some take it to a competitive level by participating in official tournaments to prove who has the highest amount of skill.

Competitive video game playing, more commonly known as esports, drew 258 million unique viewers globally last year, according to research firm SuperData.

For perspective, the National Football League said 204 million unique viewers tuned into the 2016 NFL regular season in the United States.

For this article, I had the privilege to interview Josh Singh, an exceptional semiprofessional gamer in the class of 2020 at Gonzaga College High School.

Josh started watching gaming highlights in middle school and aspired to become a professional gamer. He began his career playing Counter-Strike Global Offensive, aka CS:GO, which is where two teams armed with guns fighting one another. It’s one of the most accessible games in esports, and that fact has helped it grow into one of the cornerstones of the industry.

She is the Oak By: Kevin Donalson ‘21 Contributor For my great-grandmother, Eloise King, and countless other unrecognized black women.

Uneducated and poor her husband no more Four children to look after Does she whither like an unquenched flower?

Or stand tall Like the oak tree?

She is mother and father.

The order in the court.

She is discipline and love.

She holds generation after generation on her shoulders.

But does she whither, like the dying flower?

Or stand mighty like the oak tree?

Rosa’s resilience, Coretta’s love, Mahalia’s praise, dance through her blood.

Consistently unrecognized yet, she rises, and stands forever strong, like the undying oak tree.

With help from the Gonzaga Poets & Writers, The Aquilian plans to feature a work of poetry written by a Gonzaga Student in each issue.

The Aquilian Founded In 1940 Gonzaga College High School 19 Eye Street NW Washington, DC 20001 Men For Others in the Jesuit Tradition Since 1821

Josh’s most significant moment in competitive gaming was last December.

He was invited to play with his unit in the CS:GO Atlantic City tournament, with the firstplace prize totaling 30k. There were 32 teams, each competing with one another to advance to the next round. In the third round, Josh’s team was against a salaried squad, fierce competition.

After an intense battle, Josh was the last man standing, outnumbered two to one. Using his skill and experience, he was able to outflank both and win the round, saving the day and advancing his team to the next stage.

Even though Josh and his team lost the competition a few rounds later, he still had

great fun participating in the tournament. Despite being a part of a couple of big-name organizations last year, Josh decided to temporarily quit competitive gaming to focus on his academic studies.

According to Josh, he enjoys video games because “They help you take a break from reality. It’s a big stress reliever. I can also be more of myself online as well—I’m a bit of jokester.” Josh recom-

mends video games because they can help with confidence. “The more you win, the more confidence you get.

The pause from reality helps you get your focus back.”

If you haven’t tried a video game yet, Josh would heavily recommend the extraordinary experience.

Whether you enjoy action, puzzles, strategy, or sports, there is a game for everyone—including you.

All In? By: Rowan Kreischer ‘20 Contributor This year’s message of Gonzaga of inclusivity, acceptance, understanding, and compassion is summed up in two words: “all in.” Although the intention is wholly good, fulfilling this mantra is easier said than done. It requires guidance and leadership from the administration as well as full participation from the students.

The administration has certainly made the message known in the various posters that have been set up along campus and emails sent out to students and parents. More concretely, the administration invited the entire student body and faculty of Gonzaga to watch this year’s GDA production: The Laramie Project. The context of the play was that a young, gay teen in Laramie, Wyoming is brutally murdered because of his sexual orientation. In its wake, a theater Editor-in-Chief Jack Martino ‘20 Managing Editor Josh Knutsen ‘20 Phototography Editor Henry Sullivan ‘20

company interviewed hundreds of people in the town so that they could present the townspeople’s beliefs to the world. Similarly, the administration reached out to the students for their own impressions.

In small groups, students were prompted with questions about the play but also about how the Gonzaga community relates to Laramie and what students can bring to the community from the play. At lunch, I quickly realized that there was success in this in that every lunch table still seemed to be talking about the play and its meaning as a whole.

Since then, people have been asking different questions about “tolerance versus acceptance” on campus and about what inclusivity entails. The general notion is that a majority of Gonzaga are tolerant of everyone else but not necessarily accepting.

I would only hope this trend

changes toward accepting in the future, but each and every student must contribute to such a culture of acceptance in order to fulfill the “All In” mentality.

Although the administration has taken a bold step in the right direction, only so much change can happen in one year. Even if the technical theme changes with the next school year, the mission to be “All In” at Gonzaga must remain. In terms of the students, I would say Gonzaga students really do take the Grad-at-Grad Statements and the “Men for Others” seriously when they want to.

However, the students still have a ways to go and carry the brunt of how successful the “All In” message is. If we exclude others or are even just act indifferently, it fails, but if we try each and every day to include everyone and treat everyone with respect, it passes.

Editors Brendan Burns ‘20 Tommy Fisher ‘20 Adam Wojciak ‘20 Gabriel Brady ‘21 Jesse Dolojan ‘21 Reid Norton ‘21 John Ferrara ‘22 Moderator: Dr. Harry Rissetto

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WZAG: Please be Patient By: Will Buffaloe ‘21 Contributor It’s that time of year again. The temperature nosedives as the year draws to a close, and with that, so does another semester of school.

Hopefully, WZAG provided a source of humor and entertainment throughout such a tumultuous year. However, for some, I’m willing to bet we didn’t live up to the hype generated by earlier years of WZAG. Yes, our audio doesn’t always work, and

yes, we did show the same feature three times because of broadcasting issues, but we really are trying.

First off, we’re stilling learning the controls. For example, a few weeks ago, my first time as tech director caused many poorly timed or faulty transitions. By the end of third quarter, our technical proficiency will have likely improved along with the smoothness of the broadcasts. Of course, some of the mishaps have been funny, but

it’s fair to say they occur too frequently. With that, we’re also trying to improve the humor of the broadcasts themselves as evidenced by many of our on-air antics. But all these quirks have never been the focus of WZAG. The real WZAG is the features.

This is where I think many of you may be disappointed. We’ve only put out about 4 or 5 comedic features this school year. It seems odd that we’ve put out so few features over an en-

tire semester, but the truth is that our features are heavily scrutinized before airing. It’s obvious why we need critical review, but I do think the level of scrutiny is a factor when it comes to producing ambitious features. Additionally, since it takes a while to review features, many great ones are still sitting in an ever-expanding unapproved work folder. Perhaps it’s due to a lack of time, but I think audacious satire is not the easiest thing to produce in

general. But audaciousness is the key to more gut-busting features like those of the “Gannon Era.” In the end, all I can say is this: patience. There are many funny features in process and even more hilarious ideas waiting to be turned into a feature. All it takes is time.

So, if you keep waiting, we’ll keep working, and hopefully, we can meet somewhere in the middle.

Freshman HOCO By: Charlie Neill ‘21 Contributor

Gonzaga Goes Green with Solar Panels By: Brendan Burns ‘20 Editor

and Ruesch Hall.

This project has been in the works for a little over a year, and it is finally being put into action. These solar panels are aimed to conserve energy while also benefiting the school.

“We want to reduce the energy consumption of the school, which is actually a pretty big chunk of the school budget. We’ll be

able to reduce our [consumption] by roughly 20 or more percent, which is great enviWith more and more urronmentally, [and] it’s great gency to protect the environin terms of the impact on the ment, many steps are being school budget,” said Stephen taken to reduce pollution, one Neill, chief operating officer of which being the use of soat Gonzaga. lar panels. Early in DecemThe solar panels thember, Gonzaga began installselves are very durable, lasting hundreds of solar panels ing for around 25 years. With on top of the roofs of the Carthe solar panels producing 20 mody Center, Cantwell Hall, percent of the school’s energy for an estimated 25 years, Gonzaga’s environmental footprint will significantly shrink.

This project does not only make sense environmentally and financially, but it also aligns with Jesuit teachings of protecting the earth.

“It’s really in line with what the Jesuits have outlined as their priorities for the foreseeable future.

They have a thing called the four apostolic preferences, [which are] sort of four priorities that they hope all *These are not Gonzaga’s solar panels. They are just solar panels. places that are

part of the Jesuit missions, like Gonzaga, will focus on.

One of those is environmental stewardship, [which] they call Care for Our Common Home, so this is very consistent with our Jesuit mission,” Neill said.

Next semester, the Gonzaga community will have multiple opportunities to learn about the new solar panels. Discussions will be offered to explain the reasons for getting solar panels, how they are affecting Gonzaga and their progress to any interested students.

Monitors will also be displaying frequent updates of how much energy is being generated by the solar panels so that students will easily be able to track its impact on the school.

By joining the ranks in the fight against pollution, Gonzaga hopes it can set an example for other organizations in the area to start installing solar panels of their own.

“If we raise awareness about it enough, then just everybody feels like they’re part of a solution that is positive and that is benefiting the environment. It’s also benefiting the school because it’s saving us money, and perhaps it can inspire other people to do something similar,” said John Ausema, science teacher.

Dear Mr. Kilroy,

I just have a few pieces of suggestions for improving the Freshman Dance… (IC) Just kidding, there was no way it could have been better!! (DC,IC) When I texted my middle school friend, who is a girl, to ask her to the dance, I was nervous it wasn’t going to be fun, but it was!

(DC,xiRC,...,ICiRC,ccIC) First, we went to a superb pre-party with excellent food at someone who I didn’t know’s house; after, we took an uber (all by ourselves!!) to Gonzaga because it was almost 5:30, and we wanted to make sure we were not late. (IC;ca,ICDC,ccICiRC) I could barely see anything during the dance because all the lights were off, but it was fun for the last 30 minutes when someone turned the lights on. (ICDC,ccICDC) I even went to an after-party; my friend’s older sister, who was really cool, picked us up from Gonzaga and drove us to my friend’s house.

(IC;IC,xiRC,...) There were even girls there, but I didn’t talk to them because of rabies. (IC,ccIC) I made sure to say thank you to everyone because I wanted to be polite. (ICDC) It was the most fun I have had since my 8th grade graduation party; that is saying something because that was a really crazy party!!

(IC;ICDC) Most Sincerely, An Anonymous Freshman

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Poets & Writers Travel to Bishop Walker

By: Mr. Joe Ross Gonzaga English Dept Eleven Gonzaga student poets and four faculty members went to the Bishop John T. Walker School on Friday,

November 22nd and conducted a poetry workshop for Bishop Walker’s 5th grade poets. Bishop Walker is a tuition-free Episcopal elementary school located on Mis-

sissippi Ave in Southeast, DC It was a beautiful and moving day. Our students showed their passion for poetry and a wonderful selflessness.

Students worked in pairs with the 5th graders on their poems and talked a lot about sports, school, and life.

B i g Thanks to Kye Holmes, Aaron Turner, Hayden Fish-

er, Adam Uppuluri, Malcolm Dread, Judah Whiddon, Jaylen Laudermilk, Michael Knott, Quinn Fish, Chidera Mbanefo, and Kevin Donalson.

Big Thanks also to Randy Trivers, Jim Kilroy, and Patty Tobin who came along and threw themselves right into the mix. It was a beautiful day of poetry and friendship.

Serving in Emmitsburg By: Reid Norton ‘21 Editor As most of you probably know, immersion trips are a big part of the summer for many Gonzaga students who choose to take part in them.

I had the opportunity to join Mr. Ruano, Mr. Cerra, Mrs. Parlette, and Mr. Gerdano on the trip to Emmitsburg, Maryland. About thirty of us stayed in a retreat house in Pennsylvania for four nights

and three days of service.

When we arrived at Emmitsburg we were warmly welcomed by the staff at the

community center. Our first task was to help glue “no dumping” signs on the sewers in the surrounding neighborhoods. Although it may not seem like an enormous deed, we were thanked immensely for our work. The next day we were split into four groups with each teacher leading a group. We were off to work bright and early and started off the day by helping an elderly woman with

some yard work. We mowed her yard, pulled weeds, and did any job we could. We then took a break to eat lunch

and headed over to the senior center to help prepare meals.

The next day we visited another elderly woman and helped her organize her barn, move barrels of hay, and pull weeds. Although this was the hardest day (mainly because it was so hot), her positive attitude kept us going despite the heat. After that, we went to another elderly woman’s house and helped clean her garage and kept her company. She seemed very happy to have visitors, and was very interesting to talk to. Will Thompson really hit it off with her and enjoyed hearing her stories. On the final day of work, we first helped a woman with some more yard work and pulling weeds. We then headed over to an elderly couple’s barn and helped shovel dirt off of the ground that had collected in the barn over many many years. This was the longest and hardest job yet, but it was very rewarding when we finally finished. It was easy to tell how grateful they were because they brought us a lot of great snacks and gatorades. After every day of work, we would come back to the retreat house and reflect upon the work we did.

While everybody shared their experiences, we realized that the people of Emmitsburg were not only super thankful for our physical labor, they were also just happy to have people to talk to. Living in a place as rural as Emmitsburg, there are not many people to interact with in their daily lives. Being elderly makes it even more isolating, so I understand why they were so happy to see us, even if we

didn’t finish all the work we planned to. I am glad I went on the immersion trip to Emmitsburg because I was able to experience a completely different lifestyle than the one we are all used to in the DC Metro area. I encourage every Freshman and Sophomore to apply to at least one service trip, as it is definitely worth your time and a truly rewarding experience.

(Editors Note) Yes we know. We ran photos from Emmitsburg #1 with Emmistburg #2 and vice versa. You are all very clever.

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Red Cloud Summer Immersion in Pine Ridge, SD By: Jack Martino ‘20 Editor-in-Chief Service trips are essential to the Gonzaga experience.

The Red Cloud Summer Immersion Trip in Pine Ridge, South Dakota, offers Gonzaga students a unique opportunity to experience life on a Native American reservation and expand their cultural awareness of these isolated Americans. Pine Ridge is the poorest area in the United States, yet students don’t visit to serve the poor.

Mr. Stephen Szolosi, Head of Gonzaga Campus Ministry, describes the Red Cloud trip as one where students go to learn and become ambassadors for the Lakota people.

I was fortunate to be selected to join the 2019 Red Cloud trip. Our group prepared for the trip by reading Neither Wolf Nor Dog by Kent Nerburn, a book that explains the Native American history and how the culture does not conform to either the stereotype of the great, brave warriors or the untrustworthy drunk. Before the trip, we were cautioned

by Mr. Szolosi and Mr. Peter Baggetta that we did not come to Pine Ridge to assist or help, so we should not be encapsulated by a “savior complex” that plagues many missionaries.

Every day my group

would wake up early in the morning and make our own breakfast before piling into a van and traveling to Our Lady of Lourdes (OLL), a Catholic elementary school about a half hour away from Red Cloud High School. My group of six would spend the school day in the classroom, helping the teacher and playing with the kids. It was summer school, so the school day consisted mostly of reading and playing. Economic differences at OLL were apparent, but we found many commonalities with the students at the schools who were considered the lucky ones on the reservation. Several had iPhones with social media accounts and were up to speed with Internet memes, music, and trends. Back at the dorms at Red Cloud High School, we would have a large group discussion about the day and a speaker, before dinner and lights out. On the first two days of the trip, we visited Custer National Park and Badlands National Park, finishing the day with a sweat lodge.

The sweat lodge is an ancient Lakota ceremony for cleansing in which water is thrown onto hot rocks with tobacco to create immense steam. Rob, the man who officiated the sweat lodge, sang traditional Lakota songs

while we could only hear our beating hearts. In the last of the four rounds, the group sang “Amazing Grace” with the Lakota song in perfect harmony. The melding of songs represent the Christian and Lakota traditions present on the reservation and how these blend among the people.

Speakers consistently described our group as “Lakota

ambassadors,” showing that we need to talk about our experiences on the reservation with our friends and peers at home so they understand the abandonment and struggle of the Lakota people.

“The trip taught me more than anything else about the revitalization of the Lakota culture,” said SGA President and Red Cloud retreat member George Clifford, “It was

all taken away by the US government to assimilate them, but they are slowly bringing back their rituals and traditional language.”

On a personal note, the most profound moment of the trip came on the last day with the OLL children. Not only was it their last day with us, it was their last day of summer school. Helping the teacher clean up after the 5th and 6th grade children had left, I remarked that the kids are all so happy and reminded me of my little sister. I’ll never forget when she turned and said, “Jack, almost everyone in the room has experienced a death in their immediate family.” One boy, Jesse, lost his older sister to suicide on Christmas this past year. She is buried in the cemetery behind the school. Budd, the youngest in the group, lost his home in the floods during the springtime and lost his father in a bull-riding accident only a few months prior.

They were two of the happiest kids there. I can’t imagine the hardship these kids have endured in their short lives, yet they have the ability to smile through the roughest times.

The Lakota children stand as a testament to the people I found on the reservation; strong, resilient, and proud of their Native American traditions and culture. I am honored and proud to be their newest ambassador.

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By: John Ferrara ‘22 Editor A few years, even months ago, Netflix faced almost no competition. There was Hulu, which was not nearly as prominent, having half the amount of users in the United States as their counterpart.

In just a few weeks, however, their competition has skyrocketed with the

premiere of Apple TV+ and, most notably, Disney +. A single day after its launch on November 12, Disney claimed to have signed up over ten million people.

Many of those users were

By: Burke Pablo ‘21 Contributor The defending WCAC champions have come back this year with another loaded roster.

Led by seniors Chuck Harris, Terrance Williams, and Myles Stute, the team is set up to have another great season. In the MaxPreps preseason high school basketball rankings, Gonzaga came in at 17th in the country.

Although this ranking is still extremely good, they are not even ranked as the best team in the WCAC. The conference looks to be very competitive as Paul VI appeared

By: Jack Martino ‘20 Editor-in-Chief Ever since hoisting their third straight Mid Atlantic Prep Hockey League championship this past February, the Gonzaga Eagles V1 hockey team has anxiously been waiting for their return to the ice.

Now that the spring hockey season and offseason fall workouts are over, the team is back on the ice under the leadership of second-year head coach and computer science teacher, Mr. Sam Gerdano. “I don’t think the philosophy [of the team] has

Netflix v. Disney+ former Netflix customers, who jumped aboard the Disney bandwagon. The question is, did they make the right choice?

Netflix was, and still is for many, a necessity. They offer hundreds of shows that lots of people don’t get a chance to watch when they air on cable. The Office, Friends, and Breaking Bad are just a few shows that headline a group of cable programs that are also on Netflix.

The program is struggling though as the soon-to-be NBC streaming service will snatch away The Office, by far the most popular show on the platform; in fact, NBC paid $500 million to take the comedy away from Netflix.

At the beginning of 2021,

Michael Scott will no longer appear on the platform.

Many users have chosen to make the switch now as opposed to waiting until the show leaves for good. With the extra revenue, Netflix is trying to add some household name shows. Seinfeld is set to debut on Netflix in 2022, but many people don’t think that’s a good enough show to justify having an account.

Disney+ offers a variety of shows, most of which have finished airing on the Disney cable network. One benefit of owning a Disney+ account is having access to tons of different networks. Since Disney owns other major broadcasting/streaming companies like ESPN and Hulu, you can watch a giant spectrum of shows (though you have to pay more per month to have access to ESPN and Hulu). Disney+ is also using a much lower price

at number 8 and DeMatha came in at number 6.

With a challenging schedule that combines tough inconference showdowns with competitive national matchups, this season should be an exciting and successful one for the Eagles.

I interviewed Will Scherer, a 6’9 junior on the team, on some key factors that will help the Eagles this season.

One player to watch is sophomore Judah Mintz. He looks to become a key player in the rotation with his impressive athleticism and improved skill set.

Another indispensable

player is Terrance Williams. The forward is set to have a huge senior season with his dangerous offensive firepower. He can score from all over the court, whether it be in the post or behind the arc.

His 27 point performance in the opener against McNamara is a perfect example of what he will bring to the court this season.

Rounding out the squad are X factors Josiah Hardy and Malcolm Dread. They are important role players who can change the tide of a game. Hardy, a 6-6 senior,

point to lure users onto their platform. For only $6.99/ month, you can watch your favorite Disney Channel shows.

When deciding what streaming service you want to go with, I’d recommend evaluating if you care more about new content over cheaper, but mainly outdated, shows. That’s the dilemma most Netflix users, who are considering jumping ship, are facing. Netflix has made the major shift to producing a large amount of original content. Original shows like Stranger Things, House of Cards, and Orange Is the New Black have become staples on the platform.

This self-made content allows Netflix to continually release more new episodes, whereas Disney+ is primarily comprised of shows that have finished airing. For many, rewatching childhood shows is

good enough to switch, but personally, I prefer Netflix.

While Disney does have a few original shows like The Mandalorian, there aren’t enough new ones for me to stay interested. Netflix not only produces its own shows that release new episodes weekly or monthly, but they also acquire new seasons of programs from their cable network as they hit the air.

The show Riverdale is uploaded to Netflix the day after it premieres on cable so that people can watch in almostreal time. In my opinion, I think the extra $6 a month that Netflix charges (the most popular plan is $12.99) is worth it. I don’t think you could go wrong with either service, but you have to be content with just a few new shows and lots of old programs on Disney+.

is known for his high motor, defensive presence, and hustle off the bench. Dread, a 6-3 junior, has a sweet jump shot and can score in bursts.

Both players represent the team’s incredible depth and

will provide many meaningful minutes this season. With a team that boasts great talent and depth, Gonzaga will be serious contenders for the WCAC championship once again.

The Champs are Back

The Team to Beat: Gonzaga V1 changed,” said Coach Gerdano, “but the mentality has [changed] a little bit. We got a taste last year of how hard we had to work and we know exactly how teams will come out and face us.”

The Washington Post high school hockey rankings lists the Eagles as the team to beat at number one overall in the DMV, noting the proverbial target on the team’s back. With 15 veterans of last year’s championship team, including eight returning seniors, the team recognizes the work cut out for them and is meeting the challenge head

on.

Through the first eight games this fall, the V1 team, currently sitting at 6-1-1, has displayed the new hardnose mentality that began last season and boiled through the offseason. The highlights of these first eight games were the come-from-behind 4-2 victory over Georgetown Prep under the Friday night lights of Cabin John Ice Rink on November 22nd, and the 2-0 victory over St. Joseph’s Prep in Philadelphia on November 29th off an early goal from senior Farrell Dinn, who netted a hat trick in last

year’s MAPHL championship game.

“I think we have some work to do to get where we want to be,” observed Coach Gerdano, “and every game we’re taking as a learning experience despite winning.”

Senior captain Luca Docking, assistant captain Colin O’Leary, and junior assistant captain Sean Kilcullen have prioritized the off-ice mentality this season, trying to make the locker room chemistry fun. The production on the ice is a testament to how close the team is on and off the ice.

“I have big expectations for this team,” said senior Max Thiessen, “I think we can make some noise in the playoffs this year, but we need to continue to have a strong process throughout the year to get there.”

With a V1 senior class of ten players, the tight-knit hockey team looks to continue their dominance against St. John’s on Friday, December 20th in Rockville, Maryland, and in hosting the Purple Puck tournament following Christmas.

Christmas Song Review, by Scrooge McGrinch By: Gabriel Brady ‘21 Editor

Sleigh ride: 1.5/10 “Outside the snow is falling Run Rudolph Run: 1/10 and friends are calling yooThis title is a menace to soci- hoo.” Has this happened to ety. Chuck Berry repeats “run anyone? Ever? run Rudolph” about a million times, only to have the title Winter Wonderland: 3/10 be “run Rudolph run.” Re- What is a Parson Brown? ally? Is that really necessary?

The Christmas Song: 3/10 O Tannenbaum: 2/10 Who came up with this enFun fact: “tannenbaum” just lightening title? Really, who? means “fir tree” in German.

And the original German ver- Mele Kalikimaka: 1/10 sion of the song has nothing Little-known, but this song to do with Christmas and is means “Merry Christmas” in comparing an unchanging fir Hawaiian and is terrible. It tree with an unfaithful lover. also doubles as an expletive Who knows how that became if said with the right vigor. a Christmas song. And in English, there are millions of Santa Baby: sin(2ᴨ)/10 different versions, with the This song is like if Stephen only common thread of “O King and Queen Elizabeth Christmas Tree”. Test it out, had a baby and named it sing the other lyrics. Every- Butch. Wrong. one sings them differently.

Chaos.

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How to Survive Midterms By: Gabriel Brady ‘21 Editor & Cole Wofford ‘21 Contributor

prepare to die.”

Midterms. The fear has worn off for most upperclassmen, but many freshmen are afraid of the frightening prospect. As they should be, given it counts for 25% of their grade! Just kidding, that would be awful.

But if you are stressed or worried, The Aquilian has compiled a comprehensive list of the Top Twelve ways to “improve your score” on midterms.

achieve nirvana and obtain all test answers and the meaning of life. Sell meaning of life to freshmen. #6 Channel exchange student you met in 4th grade to help with Spanish exam.

#7 Write answers in huge #2 Copy New Testament into legible black dry erase on the calculator for your Religion whiteboard exam. Trust us, Samson did it. #8 Be the Bird: A: Eagle noise; B: Hawk noise; C: Fal#3 Write answers in invisible con noise; D: Seagull noise ink on your body (bonus you get to smell like a Caesar #9 Transfer Salad) #10 Study hard, three weeks #1 Sign the Inigo Montoya #4 Eat scantron in advance1 Manifesto with your nonwriting hand so it’s not via#5 Harness your Chi to match ble. Remember, “This exam 1 the flow of the universe to This is the only method officially killed your father, it should approved by The Aquilian.

Merry Christmas from your friends at The Aquilian!

College Football Playoffs By: Jesse Dolojan ‘21 Editor This year of college football has been wildly entertaining. Many teams separated themselves from the rest as some of the best in the country. These teams attract top high school football players and mold them into NFL draft prospects.

At the end of the season ten teams were in the race for the college football playoffs Here’s how it ended up.

1- LSU- LSU is arguably the best team in college football with a potent passing attack led by senior quarterback and Heisman frontrunner Joe Burrow. They are loaded with receiver talent such as Ja’Marr Chase and have even more incoming next year with 5-star recruit Rakim Jarrett. Their defense has been questioned by many when compared to LSU defenses of the past. They are one of the favorites to win the College Football Champion-

ship.

2- Ohio State- Ohio State is arguably the most complete team in the nation because of the level of elite talent at all positions. Their defense has improved vastly from last year, and their offense is rolling with Justin Fields, a Georgia transfer, at quarterback. Some are calling this one of the greatest teams that Ohio State has ever fielded, a testament to first year head coach Ryan Day. They rolled over Big 10 West champions

#12 Wisconsin, in the Big 10 Championship.

3- Clemson- Clemson had a rocky start to the year with QB Trevor Lawrense matching his interception total from last year in less than ten games, but they have since gotten back on track. Their run game has been up and down with Travis Etienne.

Despite all of this, they have pulled themselves together at the right time and remain undefeated. They were a lock to make the Playoffs almost two

weeks ago.

4- Oklahoma- After a great year they draw a tough first round matchup against LSU in the playoffs. Their quarterback Jalen Hurts transferred from Alabama after losing the starting job to Tua Tagovailova. He in turn led the Sooners to the Playoffs in his first year at the helm. With an improved defense, Oklahoma hopes to make a final push and win its first College Football National Championship.

Faculty Christmas List (Leaked) Ms. Tobin and Ms. Valeiras Dr. Rissetto wants to stop bewant to claim new territory ing confused with a delicious grains-based Italian dish.

With the holidays in full on campus for “Library 2.” swing, AquiliLeaks has ac- Mr. Sampugnaro wants the Mr. Turner wants to bench quired a holiday wish list via spokesman job for Old Spice 285 again. an email sent from the desk Head-and-Shoulders.

Mr. Every wants Nick Foles of Santa. Enclosed are the most interesting wishes the Mr. L’Etoile wants socks. back in Philly.

Gonzaga faculty and staff Just socks. Real original.

Mr. Cameron, Mr. Amaya, have.

Mr. Pugliese wants to switch and Mr. Morche just want to go home.

Mr. Oryshkeych wants DC tap water to La Croix.

By: Jack Martino ‘20 Editor-in-Chief

John’s Greene’s job as host Mr. Buckley wants all the of Crash Course World His- loaner computers back. tory Mrs. Free wants to be cast as Mr. Waller wants a new the role of Daisy Buchannan marker to draw perfect cir- in the Kennedy Center’s rencles with. dition of The Great Gatsby.

Mr. Freedberg wants an all expenses paid trip to the vineyards of Italy.

Mr. Cardozo wants to be bitten by several radioactive spiders.

Mrs. Metcalf wants to Mr. Jim Kilroy just wants all change the national bird to the Fellas to have a safe and the turkey, just as Ben Frank- happy holiday season. lin wanted.

Mr. John Kilroy wants Mr. Jackson wants toes on people to stop sending him the line. emails addressed to Mr. Jim Kilroy.

Mr. Maddox wants me to give him 20 pushups.

Mr. Mike Howell wants people to stick to the schedule he Mr. Leary just wants to have created. a conversation about the simple things: Monday Night Mr. Mark Howell wants Football. (Pizza will be pro- people to stop sending him vided, Fellas.) emails addressed to Mr. Mike Howell.

Mr. Thompson wants people to come by the office just to Mr. Cerra wants people visit. to stop calling him “Coach Steve.”

Aquilian Midterm Leaked on Canvas Modules By: Reid Norton ‘21 Editor

In an unfortunate but humorous twist of fate - The Aquilian not only leaked its MidTerm Exam on Canvas Modules, but also managed to print it in the December edition of the newspaper. Investigations have begun, editors are currently being questioned, and the U.S. Senate is preparing to host yet another trial to determine the fate of those responsible. Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-SC apparently just stopped yelling about this at 9:37 this morning.

Aquillian Midterm (301 Points) 10 Multiple choice (100 points) 5 true false (200 points) 1 essay (1 point) - Multiple Choice* 1. Rick Astley will never

a. give you up

b. Let you down

c. Run around

d. Desert you

e. All of the above 2. When a bear does what bears do in the woods, does it employ a bear-sized baby wipe:

a. Sitting down

b. Standing up

c. Squatting

d. On a tree stump

e. While running after a fellow bear

6. Chad is 9 years old. He is flying his boat, but gets a flat tire. Using your knowledge from the Cold War, how many tries would it take to get three pancakes off of your dog’s roof?

a. 7

b. Purple

c. Both a and e

d. All of the above 7. If dogs wore pants, how would they be worn? *choose the best possible answer; there is only one correct, objective answer for each question.

3. What does Dr. Rissetto eat for breakfast?

a. Eggs

b. Bacon

c. Grits

d. Playing cards.

8. How is caramel pronounced?

a. Care-ah-mel

b. Car-ah-mel

c. Carry-mel

d. None of the above

4. When was the Aquillian established?

a. 1347

b. 400 BC

c. 1998**

d. Trick question, the Aquillian is not a real thing.

9. What is the most slept on sport?

a. Curling

b. Co-ed croquet cheerleading

c. Shin-kicking

d. There are none

5. What ended in 1890?

a. New year’s eve

b. 1889

c. Severe economic panic

d. Both a and b

e. None of the above

10. How did you like the multiple choice section?

a. I thoroughly enjoyed it

b. I disliked each and every aspect of it

c. I am not sure what to think of it

d. No comment

e. All of the above

True/False 1. Cereal is a soup

a. True

b. False

6. Water is wet

a. True

b. False

2. A hotdog is considered a sandwich

a. True b. False

7. A straw has two holes

a. True b. False

3. Virginia > rest of the DMV

a. True b. False

8. No one is really afraid of Virginia Woolf or waiting for Godot

a. True b. False

4. Charli Damelio deserved the hype

a. True b. False

9. Canvas Modules > Canvas Files

a. True b. False

5. This test accurately depicts your knowledge of The Aquillian 10. Christmas is the second best holiday behind Arbor Day

a. True b. True

a. True b. True

Essay: choose one of the two and write a well organized, 5 paragraph essay using what you learned throughout the year.

1. Should Trix stop its heartless age-ist discrimination and make them for everyone? Why or why not? Explain.

2. Why do we park in a driveway, but drive in a parking lot? Provide three well-defended arguments. *Extra Credit* 1. Draw a baby shark.

2. In West Philadelphia born and raised, ______________________ is where I spent most of my days I have neither given nor received unauthorized aid for this exam:_____________________________________