On Target 2017 by Gold Arrow Camp

Gold Arrow Camp 2017

M A G A Z I N E

F O R

4 Simple Words for Better Communication with Your Children Page 24

How Much Screen Time is Healthy? with Delaney Ruston, M.D. Page 14

C A M P

F A M I L I E S

Does Grit Matter More than Intelligence? with Christine Carter, Ph. D. Page 10

Letter from the Directors Dear GAC Friends, Welcome to the 2017 edition of On Target, our magazine for camp families. We strive to not only provide our campers with memorable, happy, and life-changing camp experiences during the summer, but also to provide resources to our camp families that enhance our campers’ lives year-round. We consider it an honor and a privilege to partner with parents in helping children thrive at camp and throughout the year. In this edition, we are excited to feature articles from a variety of child development experts in different fields. Bob Ditter, a well-regarded child, adolescent and family therapist, shares “4 Simple Words for Better Communication with Your Children” (p. 24). In “How Much Screen Time is Healthy?” Delaney Ruston, producer of the Screenagers documentary, shares her insights on children’s screen usage (p. 14). And an excerpt from Jessica Lahey’s best-selling book, The Gift of Failure, provides tips on giving our kids more autonomy (p. 30). Sticking with our “Growing Grit” theme from last summer, Christine Carter shares, “Does Grit Matter More than Intelligence?” (p. 10) and Camp Director Audrey “Sunshine” Monke offers “5 Ways Camp Grows Grit” (p. 6). The goal of Gold Arrow Camp is to provide campers with a community where they build happy childhood memories and form life-long friendships. All of this is done in a supportive community free from pressures, competition, and electronics. Our warm, caring, and fun counselors encourage campers to learn important life skills through their positive modeling and guidance. We encourage you to learn more about Gold Arrow Camp by visiting goldarrowcamp.com. If you are interested in talking to a camp representative on the phone or meeting us in person, please contact us at (800) 554-2267 or mail@goldarrowcamp.com. We hope you enjoy On Target, and we look forward to having you join us during our 2017 season! Happy Camping,

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, Steve “Monkey” Monke, Alison “Bean” Moeschberger, Chelsea “Chelster” Rowe, and Andrew “Soy” Moeschberger Camp Directors and On Target Editors Editors in Chief Audrey and Steve Monke Design Joline Smith and Darren Vargas Contributors Bob Ditter LCSW, Christine Carter Ph.D., Delaney Ruston M.D., Dr. Emily Andrada, Jessica Lahey, and 2016 Campers On Target is published annually by Gold Arrow Camp Email ontarget@goldarrowcamp.com © 2016 by Gold Arrow Camp, all rights reserved. Image Credits Andy Plarkou, Annabel Romanos, Charlotte Monke, Claire O’Brien, Darren Vargas, Hope Hood, Iris Bos, Joline Smith, Rod Tucknott, Ryan Donat, and Sarah Bennion. Gold Arrow Camp operates under a Special Use Permit from the USDA Forest Service.

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Contents 4 5

Our Philosophy

5 Ways Camp Grows Grit

Learn to Waterski

9 10

Backpack the Sierra

Growing Grit

How Much Screen Time is Healthy?

Doctor â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fishâ&#x20AC;? Discovers the Growth Mindset

17 18

2017 Summer Schedule

The Tradition Continues: From Camper to Counselor

Top 10 Instagram Pics of the Summer

Four Simple Words for Better Communication with Your Children

Rock Climbing and Ropes Course

28 29

They Learn THAT at Summer Camp?

The Gift of Failure: Autonomy (Excerpt)

32 34

Why Kids Need to Get Uncomfortable

Ways to Connect with GAC

Common First-Year Questions

Does Grit Matter More than Intelligence?

GACspirations

Teen Programs

Better Nutrition at Camp & Home

I want to come back because it really changed me so much into a better person and I want that to happen again. - Michaela, 2016 Camper

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OUR PHILOSOPHY Gold Arrow Camp is a supportive community where lives are enriched through relationships & experiences.

Since 1933, campers

have come to Gold Arrow Camp to Have Fun,

Make Friends, And Grow!

Gold Arrow campers treat others with respect.

Gold Arrow campers value each camperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right to have a fun experience.

Gold Arrow campers meet appropriate clothing and appearance guidelines. Read all of our Camper Standards of Behavior & Appearance at http://goldarrowcamp.com/standards-of-behavior-and-appearance/

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COMMON FIRST-YEAR QUESTIONS Q: My child is coming to camp for the first time without a friend, is that a problem? A: We have many campers who attend camp without a friend from home and often choose to do so for a variety of reasons. Camp is all about making new friends, and counselors help facilitate these new relationships right from the start. Our structured program is ideal for campers to make connections and feel part of their group right away! Counselors facilitate name games and other get-to-knowyou activities upon arrival and throughout the camp session. Q: How can I find out how my child is doing at camp? A: If you’d like to check on your camper while he/she is at camp, please contact the summer office by email or phone with that request. Your message will be given to a Director or Head Counselor who will check in with your child’s counselor, observe or chat with your camper to see how camp is going so far, and provide an update to you within 24 hours. If you have a specific concern or question, please relay that information in your message. Q: What happens if my child needs to take medication while at camp? A: Our Wellness Center is staffed with 2-3 nurses and a doctor who are available to assist campers with medical needs, including dispensing medications. All medications, including over-the-counter, must be kept in the Wellness Center. Campers who take routine medications will proceed

to the medication window at the specified time (usually before or after meals, or at bedtime) to receive their dose from the nurse. Counselors help remind campers to stop by the Wellness Center. Q: Is a hard-sided trunk or a soft-sided duffle bag better for my child’s camp gear? A: This is a personal preference both for you and your camper. The soft-sided large duffle bag (often with interior boning) is easily stored when not at camp and is lighter in weight. The hard-sided trunk is sometimes better for keeping things organized. Staff will assist with luggage at both the bus stop and in camp! Q: My child is nervous about trying certain activities. Will they be forced to do an activity if they’re scared? A: Trying new activities, even those that make them nervous, is part of the growth and grit opportunities at camp. With that said, instructors will work with campers and assess their comfort level when trying something new. For example, at rock climbing, a camper may put on the harness and climb only two feet off the ground during the first attempt. On the next try, the goal may be to reach four feet. Our activities and programs are “Challenge by Choice,” and our counselors are committed to enthusiastically encouraging and supporting campers in their endeavors, but they do not force participation. Q: What if my child is so homesick they need to come home?

A: With our supportive, caring environment, this has rarely been an issue for campers. It’s normal for children to miss home while away…it’s a new place with new people and different food. After a day or two at camp, 99% of campers are entrenched in camp life and most (if not all) signs of homesickness have disappeared or are overshadowed by all the fun they’re having and the friends they’re making at GAC! We ask that parents help us to prepare their child for success at camp. This means acknowledging that they may miss home while at camp but that you will look forward to seeing them in two short weeks and will be excited to hear all about their experiences! If your child is not adjusting well to camp after two days, we will give you a call to discuss a plan to help your camper be successful for the duration of the session. Q: How will I be able to communicate with my child while at camp? A: Parents and campers communicate with each other during camp with good old-fashioned letters! In our digital age, letters from camp may be the only hand-written letters you’ll have from your child. Campers are asked, at a minimum, to write home on Wednesdays and Sundays for “Mail Meal.” On these nights, the letter serves as each camper’s admission ticket to dinner! Parents can also send oneway emails through our online system. The emails are printed and placed in the camper’s cabin mailbox each day. We allow campers to receive letters

that require only one first-class stamp. For more information about our camper mail policy, please visit our website at goldarrowcamp.com/campermail. Q: My child is a picky eater. Will he starve at camp? A: Campers (even the picky eaters) have reported that camp food is great! Three meals are served on our Dining Porch each day with a main entrée and lots of options from which to choose. For example, at breakfast, pancakes and bacon may be the main meal served, but campers can also select from cold cereal, oatmeal, hard-boiled eggs, bagel and toast bar, yogurt, fresh fruit, and juices. At lunch the additional options include a fully stocked salad bar, deli meats and peanut butter and jelly for sandwiches, homemade soups, and a variety of fruit. Dinner might be lasagna, steamed veggies, and garlic bread, but pasta and salad bars are also offered. Healthy snacks like fresh fruit, cheese sticks, and carrots are available on our Dining Porch in between meals and after evening program for campers who want a snack. Of course, the day wouldn’t be complete without roasting marshmallows or popping popcorn over the nightly campfire! Have a question we haven’t answered? Email us at: mail@goldarrowcamp.com

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5 WAYS CAMP GROWS GRIT

allowing our kids to feel the pain of the forgotten assignment or the sting of the lackluster science board, we deprive them the chance to LEARN from their mistakes and NOT MAKE THEM AGAIN. Instead, they learn about “parental rescue,” which is not something we want our children to take with them into adulthood. At camp, kids make mistakes all the time and are actually encouraged to fail (which is viewed as nothing more than a first attempt in learning anyway). A camper forgets his water bottle? He walks back to the cabin with a buddy to get it. A camper didn’t hang up her towel after activity? She takes that same damp, icky towel to her next water sport. At camp, independently fixing mistakes and persevering through failures are celebrated. Campers are learning from these mistakes, and they are also growing their grit.

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, M.A.

LEARNING SELF-RELIANCE GROWS GRIT. Campers learn to do more things for themselves when Mom or Dad aren’t around to clean up, make decisions, solve problems, intervene with social challenges, and remind kids about appropriate outerwear for a cold evening. With counselors alongside for support, camp is a great place for kids to develop independence and self-reliance, which in turn increases their confidence. Counselors will coach campers to be responsible for themselves and their things, but they will not tidy up campers’ bunks or dress them in warm sweatshirts. Learning to do more things for themselves – and seeing that they CAN do things without their parents’ help – grows campers’ grit.

MISTAKES 2 EXPERIENCING AND FAILURES GROWS GRIT. So often, parents step in and stop a failure before it occurs; how often have we rescued a homework assignment left behind on the desk or put the finishing touches on a procrastinated science board project? It’s just really hard to stand there and watch our children crash and burn when we know the easy fix, usually involving our intervention. Unfortunately, by not

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TALKING ABOUT, SETTING, AND REACHING GOALS GROWS GRIT. At camp, kids have the opportunity to reinvent themselves and tell their own stories. Counselors encourage campers to talk about what they want to learn at camp, new skills they want to acquire, and specific goals they have for the camp session. These goals become a guidepost and motivation for campers as they move through camp, and whether they reach or almost-reach a goal, they grow through challenging themselves to try. Water skiing—the first activity I taught at camp as a counselor—is a great example of how kids grow grit at camp. Frankly, waterskiing isn’t much fun for first-timers; in fact, it takes most people a lot of practice and effort just to get on top of the water, and most don’t make it because they give up too early. But those who keep trying often discover a rewarding payoff. In the same way, campers experience amazing gratification when they overcome a fear of heights or break through their shyness when talking to new people. Even pooping in the woods for the first time is celebrated as an accomplishment at camp! And each of these goals reached, big or small, grows grit.

NEW CHALLENGES 4 FACING GROWS GRIT. In addition to specific activity or social skills goals, there are many new things campers experience that aren’t necessarily challenges, but they can be difficult for some kids. Campers are faced with many new, unfamiliar things at camp: a new place to sleep, new people, new activities, new foods, and a new view, to name a few. If you studied abroad during college, you know that living in a new country and navigating the culture grows your grit. For many kids, going to camp is like that. For an only child, living in close quarters with eight or nine other kids is a completely new experience. It may or may not be challenging, but it’s different and requires an adjustment. And every new experience, whether easy or difficult, grows the confidence kids have in themselves about approaching OTHER new experiences. And that grows their grit.

GAC is a place where I can try new things and not worry what other people think. It is really fun and inspires me to be more creative. —Theo, 2016 Camper

FEELING EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL DISCOMFORT GROWS GRIT. Many campers feel some degree of emotional discomfort while away from home. Because of this, some parents will never send their kids to camp. Those parents simply can’t handle the idea of their child going through any kind of distress. But those of us who have experienced how camp positively impacts our kids know that it’s the difficult, uncomfortable stuff that helps them grow. The most common emotional discomfort at camp is homesickness, and it’s especially painful and daunting for anxious kids. Homesickness is very real, but it can be a huge source of growth once the camper figures out how to overcome the emotions and successfully complete camp. I don’t know of any other setting where kids

can be coached through a difficult time and emerge invigorated, proud, and wanting to do it again. The physical discomforts of camp are also real. Parents may not want to hear about (and probably couldn’t handle themselves) the hardships involved in a big lightning storm, a frigid mountain night, a steep uphill hike, or lake water so cold it makes your teeth chatter. But these things are good for campers, who often don’t experience much physical discomfort at home. Campers speak with pride about the emotional and physical challenges they face and overcome at camp. And those experiences—maybe more than anything else—grow grit.

Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, M.A., with her husband Steve, has owned and directed Gold Arrow Camp for the past 32 years. They have five children (ages 1323) who are campers and staff at camp. Audrey is a graduate of Stanford University and has her Masters in Psychology. Read more of Sunshine’s writing about the benefits of camp and parenting tips to help your kids develop independence, responsibility, and social skills at sunshine-parenting.com.

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What I enjoyed the most about camp was Shaver Island. I definitely would put that at the top of my list. - Sara, 2016 Camper

LEARN TO WATERSKI Campers who attend our two-week sessions spend one or two nights at our Shaver Island Outpost. This is a highlight of camp for many of our campers. Our island on Shaver Lake offers the ideal setting for campers to learn and hone their waterskiing, wakeboarding, and kneeboarding skills. With competition-style ski boats, experienced instructors, and hours of time behind the boat, campers learn and improve their skills rapidly during their stay at Shaver Lake. While there, campers have the opportunity to build friendships with campers in other cabin groups. The nightly social time at Shaver is around a campfire that is large enough for all campers and counselors to gather to sing songs, play games and make sâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;mores. Camping on the beach and falling asleep watching the shooting stars are also memorable experiences from their stay at the outpost.

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Many returning campers choose to spend an entire week at Shaver Island, in addition to their two-week regular session, by participating in one of our Shaver Water Sports Specialty Camps. These three-week sessions are offered at the beginning of the summer (Session 5: June 18 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; July 8), with the Shaver week at the beginning of the session, and at the end of the summer (Session 6: August 6-26), with the Shaver week at the end of the session. There is also the option to attend for just one week. This is not recommended for campers who have not already attended a regular session at Gold Arrow Camp, as they will not experience any of the activities and special events offered only at our main camp location.

BACKPACK THE SIERRA GAC is unique among camps in offering our young campers the chance to hike, explore, and camp out in the wilderness. We are surrounded by beautiful trails and lakes in the John Muir and Kaiser Wilderness areas. Depending on their age and ability, campers enjoy non-strenuous trips ranging from four to eight miles. Groups play games along the way, and the pace is slow. Campers take breaks from hiking often to drink from their water bottles, eat trail mix, and rest. Once at their camp sites, campers play games, help cook dinner, and get to experience living in nature. They also have a lot of free play and exploring time. Campers enjoy building forts and structures out of sticks and pine cones. Some kids are hesitant about backpacking because they

don’t think carrying a pack sounds like fun. But, over and over, we have heard campers recall their backpacking trip as one of their favorite camp memories. Back in the 1960s and 1970s, when all GAC campers attended camp for a month, backpacking trips were longer. We are still committed to getting kids out in nature, even when they’re only with us for two weeks. We will continue to teach campers about how fun it is to be in the outdoors, because we know the positive, life-long impact a love of nature can have. We hear from many past campers asking for advice about where to backpack in this area, because they have fond memories of their GAC backpacking trips.

Camp is like a second home, and I always come knowing that I’m going to learn something new, make a friend, and have a great time. - Brynn, 2016 Camper

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Christine Carter

Does “Grit” Matter More than Intelligence? Christine Carter, Ph.D.

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just Christine Carter, Ph.D., is a parent coach and the author of RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents and The Sweet Spot: How to Find Your Groove at Home and Work. She coaches and teaches online classes in order to help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for parents and couples. She is also a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. Sign up for her short weekly Happiness Tips at www.christinecarter.com. Christine Carter has been a GAC parent and staff trainer for seven years. Each summer, she joins us to share insights on important topics related to growth and happiness. For summer 2016, Christine shared with counselors how to support campers in growing their grit!

that I stay with problems longer.” — Albert Einstein When I first started writing about how to foster “grit” in kids years ago, I thought I’d found a parenting silver bullet. Early research from the celebrated psychologist Angela Duckworth showed that grit – or “perseverance and passion for long-term goals,” – is one of the best predictors of elite performance, whether in the classroom or in the workforce. This was great news, it seemed to me, because while we can’t control kids’ (or our own) intelligence, we can grow grit, dramatically influencing their odds of succeeding. The good news was that grit predicts performance even better than IQ or innate talent. Why? Well, you can’t achieve your goals if you can’t stick with something when the going gets rough. This falls in the “science of the blazingly obvious” category, but it’s worth spelling out: Our ability to face a challenge – and therefore risk difficulty, disappointment, stress and discomfort – makes us far stronger and more masterful in our pursuits. This is, essentially, resilience, and it paves the way for long-term happiness as well as success. This summer, spurred by the publication of Duckworth’s excellent new book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, I’ve fielded a dozen phone calls from educators (and an Admissions Director or two) asking

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how they can measure (and, presumably, foster) grit in students. “Kids today are so brittle,” they worry. “How do we find the ones that won’t crumble when they get their first bad grade? Or face their first truly difficult situation away from home?” Raw intelligence is important, of course, but it turns out that it’s not nearly as important as the ability to work hard and to persist in the face of academic and adolescent challenges. But my thinking about hard work and grit has changed dramatically in the last few years, especially having recently read Duckworth’s treatise on the subject. It’s definitely not a panacea for our high-pressure, lowhappiness culture. Let me explain. On the one hand, I credit most of my success to my single-minded and relentless pursuit of task completion. In high school and college, I studied harder than anyone I knew. I did ALL my homework, sometimes more than once. (My high school English teacher, Michael Mulligan, still publicly teases me for re-writing the paper I wrote on the Lord of the Flies a half dozen times, a blatant grade-grubber trying desperately to improve the B+ he originally gave me.) On the other hand, I also credit the anxiety disorder I suffered from in my early 20s to my single-minded and relentless pursuit of task completion. See, until my mid-30s, I did pretty much everything I thought I “should” do, as perfectly as I could. I also did everything everyone else thought I should do. I people-pleased up the wazoo.

I was nothing if not persistent. I would have maxed out Duckworth’s Grit Scale, giving myself a 5 out of 5 on items like this:

“I don’t give up easily” “I am a hard worker” “I finish whatever I begin” “I am diligent” “I have overcome setbacks to conquer an important challenge” But actually, I wasn’t all that gritty in the way that Duckworth defines grit (vs. how she measures it). Duckworth defines grit as persistence AND passion towards one’s long term goals. Mostly, I was just perfectionistic and persistent. In many realms, I was missing the passion part of the grit equation. I was driven by fear, not love. I knew exactly what other people wanted me to pursue, and I could do it. And because I was so clear about what other people expected of me, I was sometimes a little shaky about what I really wanted to pursue for myself. So that is why I deeply believe that grit isn’t something we should measure in adolescents to see if they can hack the stress that an academic institution is going to hurl their way. Nor should we admire or foster a character trait we call “grit” but that is really relentless, persistent perfectionism — absent the intrinsic motivation. Passionless persistence might lead to achievement, but it is joyless, anxious achievement at best. But true grit – the kind that is equal measures passion and persistence – is a solid strategy for both success AND happiness. And it is something we can easily foster in ourselves, and in our children.

First, find and fuel passion. If you are a parent or teacher looking to foster grit in kids, the first step is to let go of what you want for them, and watch for what they are passionate about. Then, simply support their passions. In order for kids to even know what they are interested in, they need exposure to a lot of different things. They will never know that they are passionate about tennis or Shakespeare or rock-climbing or piano or

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math if they never have a chance to try those things out. Parents, teachers, and coaches are important here; we must be willing and able to provide racquets and lessons and instruments. The first sparks of a passion need oxygen before they will ignite. Moreover, we must be willing to let an initial interest develop from fun, and from play. It has to have an ease to it at first. Adults can encourage, but they must remember that joy is their best tactic at this stage. A true passion never begins with hard work and practice – it begins with genuine interest and fun. You can do this for yourself, too: Pay attention to what you actually yearn for, and practice ignoring what other (well-meaning) people expect of you or even want for you. Does the thought of a particular project or activity make you feel light and free, or does it make you feel heavy? Pushing yourself towards the things that you dread may make you persistent, but it will not, ultimately, make you gritty. Or happy.

Second, practice tolerating discomfort. Given that life includes a boatload of disappointment, risk, pain and even failure, we need to develop an ironic comfort with

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discomfort if we are going to persist in the face of challenge towards our goals. The key is to notice where your comfort zone is, because it is often the very thing that is blocking your success and happiness. Perfectionism, ironically, used to be my comfort zone, for example. I was most “comfortable” relentlessly fulfilling everyone else’s expectations of me, and I felt uneasy and uncomfortable doing things that I feared would let other people down. It was hard for me to have the courage to pursue my own passions. But we obviously need to have the courage to do the things that make us profoundly uncomfortable without becoming overly anxious or stressed out. Sometimes hard things are just hard things: There is difficulty, or even pain, but it isn’t worthy of a fullblown stress response. There isn’t actually anything to be afraid of. The simplest way to increase our ability (and, frankly, willingness) to experience discomfort is to simply put ourselves in situations that make us uncomfortable. Take baby steps, and practice staying calm despite the discomfort. Keep taking deep breaths. Keep relaxing your shoulders. Notice your discomfort, and welcome it. It’s nothing to be afraid of.

Have difficult conversations. Take risks in relationships by showing people who you really are, or sharing what you are truly feeling. Let yourself notice when other people are suffering, and reach out to them; their discomfort, too, is nothing to be afraid of. Do the right thing, even when the right thing is hard. These days, I don’t really know where I’d score on Duckworth’s Grit Scale. I’m practicing being gritty in some arenas, and downright flaky in others. In the same way that having a super-high IQ can make people so socially awkward that their relationships suffer, I think having a superhigh persistence score used to threaten my happiness. So does grit matter more than intelligence? I don’t know. We want our kids to be both gritty and intelligent, and we certainly want both for ourselves. Here’s what I do know: Grit is within our control. Its components can be learned and practiced. When we identify what we are passionate about, and build the skills we need to be persistent into our pursuit of these passions...Watch out world. Little else will have a larger impact.

“I went backpacking for the fIRST time, tried things that I was scared of, and continued things when I didn’t think I could go any further.”

-Annabella

“I didn’t give up after repeated face-planting, and I eventually got big air.” -Blake

“I grew grit by trying again and enjoying sailing. I was so scared my first year and didn’t enjoy myself at all. This year I conquered that fear. ” -Emilia

“I have tried new things and gone out of my comfort zone.” -Luke “I am scared of heights and kept trying to go on the high ropes course and finally did it, and It was awesome.” -Dylan “Every time I messed up on something, I kept going.” -Zoe

In 2016, campers grew their grit the way four generations of GACers have done for more than 80 years. The difference was how much we talked about grit because of our 2016 “Growing Grit” summer theme. Counselors and campers challenged themselves to overcome fears, set new goals, and persevere through mistakes and failures. Campers created goals for themselves outside of their comfort zone, and many stepped up to the challenge of growing their grit. Here are what a few of our 2016 campers had to say in answer to the question, “What have you done to grow your grit at camp?”

“When I first tried rock climbing, it was really hard, but I kept pushing myself and believing in myself, and I grew grit.” -Kalianne “I grew grit by overcoming homesickness.” -Dylan

“I have worked hard and failed, but when I failed, I kept at it.” -Ben “I have pushed myself to try everything with all my effort.” -Jules “I have committed to my goals and completed them.” -Cole

“Wakeboarding and sailing have been my biggest fears since my first year, but I finally tried them and now I love them!” -Hadley

“I pushed myself during activities when I felt like I wanted to give up.” -Violet

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How Much Screen

Time is Healthy? Delaney Ruston, M.D. Article originally published on screenagersmovie.com.

Delaney Ruston is a filmmaker, Stanford trained doctor and mother of two. Along with Screenagers, her awardwinning feature documentaries include Unlisted: A Story of Schizophrenia (PBS), about her father, and Hidden Pictures (PBS) about global mental health. Dr. Ruston has been invited to speak and screen these and other films to hundreds of audiences in diverse settings around the world—such as at primary schools, conferences, medical centers, universities, the United Nations, the TEDx stage in Seattle and the World Health Organization. For her work in using film in launching advocacy movements, Dr. Ruston has won several awards. She has provided primary care in underserved clinics for over a decade.

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People often ask me how much screen time is healthy. That’s a hard one because each family is different and what I hope for is that parents can help kids find balance with all this screen time. Recently I ran into Dimitri Christakis, MD, who is in Screenagers and is very involved in helping to formulate the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) guidelines on screen time and kids, and he said the AAP is working hard to come up with something that is balanced, doable and data driven knowing how pervasive screens are in our culture. Recently, the AAP released an article published in the AAP News with a preliminary outline of where the recommendations are headed. This first update since the guidelines were created in 1999 is titled “Beyond ‘turn it off’: How to advise families on media use,” and contains the following: “In a world where ‘screen time’ is becoming simply ‘time,’ our policies must evolve or become obsolete. The public needs to know that the Academy’s advice is science-driven, not based merely on the precautionary principle.” The new guidelines are expected to be released in October 2016. In a recent NPR interview, David Hill, MD and chairman of the AAP Council on Communications and Media, offered some insights into what’s behind the AAP’s thinking. “The question before us is whether electronic media use in children is more akin to diet or to tobacco use,” explains Dr. Hill. “With diet, harm reduction measures seem to be turning the tide of the obesity epidemic. With tobacco, on the other hand, there really is no safe level of exposure at any age. My

personal opinion is that the diet analogy will end up being more apt.” “While we acknowledged that mobile and interactive screens have become ubiquitous in children’s lives, we did not advocate for their wholesale adoption,” expands Dr. Hill. “I suspect that when they do come out, the statements will be highly conservative, reinforcing much of what we have said in the past about the known effects of electronic media use on child health and development.”

Elements of the Coming Guidelines In the meantime, here is a subset of the “messages” published in the October 2015 issue of AAP News from the AAP’s May 2015 conference:

Parenting has not changed. The same parenting rules apply to your children’s real and virtual environments. Play with them. Set limits; kids need and expect them. Teach kindness. Be involved. Know their friends and where they are going with them.

Role modeling is critical. Limit your own media use, and model online etiquette. Attentive parenting requires face time away from screens.

We learn from each other. Neuroscience research shows that very young children learn best via two-way communication. “Talk time” between caregiver and child remains critical for language development. Passive video presentations do not lead to language learning in infants and young toddlers. The more media engender live interactions, the more educational

I love the community and how I’m able to walk by anyone and they say hello. I have never been this happy. -Lily, 2016 Camper

value they may hold (e.g., a toddler chatting by video with a parent who is traveling). Optimal educational media opportunities begin after age 2, when media may play a role in bridging the learning achievement gap.

children understand their media experience. For infants and toddlers, co-viewing is essential.

Content matters. The quality of content is more important than the platform or time spent with media. Prioritize how your child spends his time rather than just setting a timer.

Playtime is important. Unstructured playtime stimulates creativity. Prioritize daily unplugged playtime, especially for the very young.

Curation helps. More than 80,000 apps are labeled as educational, but little research validates their quality. An interactive product requires more than “pushing and swiping” to teach.

Set limits. Tech use, like all other activities, should have reasonable limits. Does your child’s technology use help or hinder participation in other activities?

Co-engagement counts. Family participation with media facilitates social interactions and learning. Play a video game with your kids. Your perspective influences how your

Create tech-free zones. Preserve family mealtime. Recharge devices overnight outside your child’s bedroom. These actions encourage family time, healthier eating habits and healthier sleep.

Kids will be kids. Kids will make mistakes using media. These can be teachable moments if handled with

empathy. Certain aberrations, however, such as sexting or posting self-harm images, signal a need to assess youths for other risk-taking behaviors. In Screenagers, as with her awardwinning documentaries on mental health, Dr. Ruston takes a deeply personal approach as she probes into the vulnerable corners of family life, including her own, to explore struggles over social media, video games, academics and internet addiction. Through poignant, and unexpectedly funny stories, along with surprising insights from authors, psychologists, and brain scientists, Screenagers reveals how tech time impacts kids’ development and offers solutions on how adults can empower kids to best navigate the digital world and find balance.

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Doctor “Fish” Discovers the Growth Mindset Emily “Fish” Andrada, M.D.

Dr. Emily “Fish” Andrada is joining us as our Camp Doctor for her 11th year in 2017. When she isn’t at GAC, she works as a Pediatric Emergency Medicine Attending Physician at the UC Davis Medical Center where she trains emergency medicine, pediatric, and family medicine residents and teaches medical students at the bedside and in formal didactics. Fish looks forward to “laughing at all the funny skits at morning assembly, climbing the Face with the nurses, Choco Taco night, and playing card games at the dance” and says that, “GAC is where I recharge, literally, for the rest of the year!”

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I have a kooky aunt. Let’s just say that polyester mustard pants don’t really go with a purple satin jacket and a maroon knitted hat. At the very least, it’s not an outfit you should wear in public or when picking someone up at the airport in Los Angeles…just saying. When I was in junior high school, she took it upon herself to send me to a very exclusive summer tennis camp in Southern California. It wasn’t too hard to miss our arrival at camp as we pulled up in her maroon Dodge Van (with a camper top) amongst all the sleek, black limousines dropping off other campers. Now I was just an average tennis player and, accordingly, the first day I was placed in Group 3—not Group 1 of the nationally ranked sect and not Group 5 of the beginner, “How do I hold a tennis racket?” crowd. A round robin tournament within each group ended each day’s activities, and I lost every single match. I really liked the drills and finetuning my stroke and serve. The competitive games, however, were a different story. I feared losing and of course it’s no surprise that I lost. A lot. About halfway through the session my counselor pulled me aside to inform me that they were moving me to a lower group. My clearest memory of that conversation was sobbing and blurting out, “It’s so demeaning!” The façade of being a slightly-above-average tennis player was blown to bits, and I was overwhelmed with emotion (in the way young teens are often

“overwhelmed”). My feelings of shame and doubt ran so deep that I went on to lose all my matches to everyone in the lower group, as well, even though I really was a better player. Unknowingly, this pattern pervaded much of my youth. At five years old I was literally standing in the doorway of a ballet class and, despite my mother’s pleading, I would not give it a try because, “I wasn’t good at it.” I declined an offer to move up to an advanced math class in seventh grade because I was a straight-A student and didn’t want to jeopardize my GPA. Who even calculates a GPA in seventh grade? I even let slide my slot in the University Honors Program because I worried about not performing well in the accelerated classes. I chalked all this up to personality quirks and stubbornness until I came across Carol Dweck’s work in Mindset. It was like Dr. Dweck had been watching me all this time and wrote this book to set me straight. I’ve never met Dr. Dweck, but I love her message. Here’s what she said (to me): Most people have one of two mindsets. A “fixed” mindset means that you believe you can either do a thing naturally, or you cannot do it at all. That’s it. You are born with it. Or not. The “growth” mindset, on the other hand, is based on the belief that anybody can learn anything, provided they work on it long enough. The growth mindset focuses

on the effort spent doing something rather than the outcome. If the process of learning is more valued, then there is little hesitation when pushing boundaries and stepping into unfamiliar territory. The result is a belief that the mistakes of today will not determine the results of tomorrow. Suddenly, you don’t have to worry about being perfect or good enough. You just work on getting better every time. Now that’s all fine and dandy, but having insight into which mindset you have is not even the best part. The most mind-blowing realization is that you can CHOOSE which mindset you have, and this is where Gold Arrow Camp plays such a crucial role. It is a veritable playground for failure—failure to pack your toothbrush, failure to eat enough at breakfast, and failure to get up on water skis, to name a few. In a FIXED mindset (where you believe you are a failure if you fail), you will crumble, and blame the teacher or the equipment, and be defensive and helpless. But, oh what a difference it can make if you choose a growth mindset! You will push on even if you fail to accomplish or understand something the first time around, because you will know that it is only a matter of exerting more effort until you succeed. You will view failure as an opportunity to learn from the wisdom of others, to problem solve, to ask questions, to try harder, and to persevere. Even at Gold Arrow Camp, we say “TRY new things,” not “BE PERFECT at new things,” and definitely not “SUCCEED RIGHT AWAY at new things.” Just try… and don’t give up.

2017 SUMMER SCHEDULE Two-Week Sessions (grades K-9 ) Session 1: Session 2: Session 3: Session 4: Tuition:

June 25 - July 8 July 9 - July 22 July 23 - August 5 August 6 - August 19 $3700

Three-Week Sessions (grades 4-9) Session 5: Session 6: Tuition:

June 18 - July 8 August 6 - August 26 $5200

One-Week Sessions Shaver Water Sports June: Shaver Water Sports August: Mini Camp: Tuition:

June 18 - June 24 (grades 4-9) August 20 - August 26 (grades 4-9) August 20 - August 26 (grades K-9) $2000

Outdoor Leadership Course (grades 9-11) OLC 1: OLC 2: Tuition:

July 9 - July 22 August 6 - August 19 $3000

Become a Monther!

See you all this summer at GAC! Emily “Fish” Andrada Camp Doctor

Add a second two-week session to become a “Monther,” and receive $1,000 off the second session!

Enroll Now!

Enroll online by visiting our home page at goldarrowcamp. com and clicking “Enroll Online.” SESSIONS FILL VERY QUICKLY! Check our website for current availability at goldarrowcamp.com/dates-rates/

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Former GAC campers now on 2016 staff.

The Tradition Continues: From Camper to Counselor 2016

2010

Biv 20

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The number of former GAC campers who’ve returned to be counselors at GAC has exploded in the past few years. This year is no exception, with 35 former campers now serving as GAC staff! Former campers, even when they are new to being counselors, bring a love of GAC and an understanding of our culture and traditions that has a positive impact on the rest of the camp community. During training week, they participate actively, make friends, have fun, and stretch themselves. Most importantly, they remember the things their favorite counselors said and did to help them adjust to camp. We sing the song “The Circle Game” at the end of each Appreciation Campfire. It’s a reminder about how fast the years go by. When kids are young, they think they want to get older. Being at camp and living the

goofy, childlike camp life helps us remember that childhood is amazing and we must treasure every minute. My favorite line of the song reminds us that we get to a point as we age when we want to “drag [our] feet to slow those circles down.” Working at camp as a counselor, or in any role on staff, gives adults the chance to do just that by re-experiencing, through our campers, some of the fun and magic of childhood. Over the past few weeks, I have asked former campers who are on staff this summer to think about camp, how it influenced them, what it meant to them as a child, and why they returned as a counselor. Fostering Confidence and Independence Most spoke about how camp helped bring them to a place of greater independence, providing them with tools to conquer fears and stretch themselves beyond what they

Binx and Mocha 2008

2016

Lifelong Friendships Some of the best friendships our current staff have made in their lives have been those forged at Gold Arrow when they were campers. That’s in part because camp provides an environment free of social pressures and technology, which allows campers and staff the chance to be the “best versions” of themselves and develop genuine relationships. Said Coco (8 years), “Camp is a humbling experience that makes you recognize true friendships, the awe of nature, and how fortunate you are for such an incredible opportunity.” “My time at GAC taught me how to form friendships quickly and with people who were different from me. GAC taught me how to be the best version of myself – joyful, confident, and outgoing.” –Mocha (15 years)

thought possible. Still others credited camp with helping them overcome barriers to friendships brought on by shyness, lack of confidence, and negative self-image. Everything they learned at camp, they said, translated well for them in their lives away from Gold Arrow. “Gold Arrow has influenced me in all of the best ways,” said Binx (11 years). “It has opened my eyes to experiences and friendships I’d never have known before.” Added Spring (10 years), “It was a place where I could be myself. I gained confidence, independence, and a sense of responsibility.” “When I was a camper, I learned a lot about being respectful, conquering fears, and making/keeping friendships.” –Batman (12 years) At the end of my senior year, I got the once in a lifetime opportunity to study overseas in Scotland for university. I can honestly say that I would not have had the confidence or independence to go if I had not previously adopted that independence at GAC. –Chippy (8 years)

“When I look back on childhood, GAC stands out. GAC is where I learned to foster a positive attitude and make friends with everyone, because everyone has a gift to give and stories to share. The enthusiasm is unbeatable.” –Cheeto (5 years) Others referred to Gold Arrow as a home away from home, a place where there exists a true sense of family. GAC is a “constant in a changing life,” said Coco. Added Pancake (6 years), “GAC means a permanent family, no matter if you’re at camp or not.”

“I wanted to help campers have the same amazing experiences I had.” –Spring (10 years) That our former campers were surrounded by positive, supportive counselors had a huge impact on why they wanted to come back. “As a camper, the counselors at GAC gave me great examples of who I wanted to be when I was older and how I wanted to act,” said Chippy. As campers, they were “surrounded by positive and supportive people,” said Spring. Given that kind of environment, counselors like Pisces (7 years), find themselves wanting “to inspire future campers to feel confident in their own skin and provide them with fun memories similar to [their] own.” “My counselors when I was a camper have had such a huge influence on my love for nature and being outdoors, and I want to pass on that same passion for the outdoors to my campers. That’s why I’m back.” –Bucky (3 years) Being a counselor is not an easy summer job. It entails much more perseverance (counselors spend 11-12 weeks at 2016

2011

A Positive Impact I asked every camper-turned-counselor why they wanted to return, and each one of them had a similar response: they wanted to provide the same life-changing experiences for their campers that were modeled for them by their own counselors years ago. “Much of why I decided to be a counselor was how incredible my counselors were when I was a camper,” said Wahoo (7 years). Added Coco, “I want to be the role model my counselors were for me.”

Coco goldarrowcamp.com

camp), hard work (six days per week all summer), and responsibility, than being a camper. The transition sometimes isn’t as easy as former campers anticipate, as new counselor Batman shared: “With the theme of Growing Grit in mind, I would like to say that the transition from being a camper at GAC to a counselor has been one of the most eye-opening and challenging experiences of my life so far. I have gained so much more admiration and respect for my old counselors because I now comprehend how hard they worked to ensure that I had an amazing time.”

2011

Shaka

2016

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We are thankful for the former campers who return to GAC as counselors to carry on the traditions of fun, friendship, and growth they experienced in their childhood. For them, donning their green-collared staff shirt and GAC name tag has a uniquely poignant meaning. It also gives them a chance to “slow those circles down,” even if it’s just for a short while. Said Bazza (9 years), “Realizing that you’re at the fourth verse of the Circle Game is an indescribable feeling.”

2016

Shades

2012

Top 10 Instagram Pics of the Summer Follow us @goldarrowcamp or visit instagram.com/goldarrowcamp

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Honey & Blondie, who met at GAC in 2010, got engaged at Appreciation! Congratulations, Honey & Blondie, and thank you for letting us participate in your big day! We’re so happy & excited for you!

The GAC 2016 staff have completed their training and can’t wait to greet our Session 1 campers on Sunday!

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WOO HOO! The docks are in place!

Thankful for a full Huntington Lake!

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“I said I’m PROUD to be a G-A-C BEAR!”

Congratulations to our 2016 Coach’s Award recipient, Kettle!

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Kayaking!

“We are gonna have a GAC party!”

Counselors are excited to greet all of our mini & specialty campers arriving today!

237 Likes Our Shaver Specialty Week campers & staff are enjoying great weather, awesome water sports, fun campfires, and brilliant night skies this week on the Island!

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Four Simple Words for

BETTER COMMUNICATION

with Your Children

Bob Ditter, LCSW

Bob Ditter is a well-regarded child, adolescent and family therapist from Boston, Massachusetts. He is a nationally recognized trainer and consultant and works with organizations that work with young people. His clients have included Sea World, the Disney Channel, the Salvation Army, Girl Scouts of America, YMCA, American Camp Association, Jewish Community Centers, Camp Fire USA, Children’s Oncology Camps of America, the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America, private and public schools and others. He has appeared on the “ABC Evening News with Peter Jennings,” “Good Morning America” and twice on NBC’s “The Today Show.” He has been quoted in The New York Times, Parent Magazine, the Ladies Home Journal, Money Magazine and USA Today. Sports Illustrated called him “camping’s most articulate spokesman” because of his work with children’s summer camps since 1982. He has visited over 600 summer camps in the United States and has authored four books for camp professionals and 14 brand new training DVDs. He is best known in camp circles as the author of the popular column, “In the Trenches,” which has appeared regularly in Camping Magazine since 1987.

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One of the great advantages of living in Boston as I do is having the resources of the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library about twenty minutes from my house. The library has an ongoing series of visiting speakers who come to talk about both current and historical events. One frequent guest speaker to the library until his death in the fall of 2010 was Ted Sorenson, President Kennedy’s speechwriter. The famous and oft quoted line from Kennedy’s inaugural address, “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country!” was only one of many lines Mr. Sorenson wrote for President Kennedy.

and directly stated. Being clear with your audience assures that they will walk out of the address with a few well-articulated ideas they can hold onto. The clearer the message, the more likely its chances of being put into practice. As Mr. Sorenson pointed out, a good speech can be entertaining, but to be truly great — to have impact — it has to be memorable. Making your points in a lucid, easily understood manner is one way to produce that effect.

The third quality of a great speech, he contended, was brevity. Audiences, like people in general, he said, appreciate it when you respect their time. Once you have made your points, honor your audience by ending your talk. Doing so allows them to At the end of a lecture given at the library absorb and integrate what it is they have just by Mr. Sorenson just two months before heard. If you continue to talk, your audience his death, an audience member asked will be forced to listen rather than digest him what he thought the hallmarks of a what you have said, making it less likely good speech were. Without hesitating Mr. that they will integrate it into their thinking. Sorenson replied that he thought there were Taking up too much time also creates four elements of a good speech. The first, resentment in your audience, which might he said, was charity. “Be charitable to your undo any good your speech might otherwise audience!” was his advice. He explained have accomplished. As the story goes, a that when a speaker acknowledges the reporter remarked to Lincoln about how brief contributions, strengths, or positive qualities his address at Gettysburg had been, and of the audience, he is not only establishing he replied, “Had I more time I would have a rapport and trust with that audience, but made it even shorter!” All good speakers is also getting them to listen more intently and speechwriters, Mr. Sorenson asserted, by complimenting them on know that it is much harder the good works they might Say what you want to say something in concise be doing in their field or in the terms than it is to go on and to say in simple, world at large. on. His advice was: “Don’t wear accessible, and out your audience! Doing so The second consideration, he clear terms. reduces your impact.” continued, was clarity. Say The final characteristic of a what you want to say in simple, accessible, great speech is levity. Expressing something and clear terms. He said the best speeches with humor is like eating sugar to help the were those where the messages were clear medicine go down. People respond to

humor not only because it is stimulating and entertaining, but because it also aids in the consideration of serious issues. A lighthearted approach delivered with skill allows us to keep issues of gravity in better perspective.

their behavior. It is a way of establishing safety and trust in the relationship. Without a positive or charitable approach, children are less likely to open up to you. Most parents do a pretty good job of being “charitable” with—or affirming of—their children.

When I heard Mr. Sorenson say these things, which he undoubtedly did with greater clarity, brevity, and levity than I have in rendering them here, I immediately thought, “These are also the characteristics of great communication with children! I just never put it in such clear terms: charity, clarity, brevity, levity.” I will explain.

Being charitable is not the same as being permissive. I am still going to hold a child accountable for what they may have done or make my point about what is appropriate or expected behavior directly, but that is where clarity comes in. When it comes to clarity, children actually appreciate it when we get right to the point! Saying things clearly to a child also means using language they can easily grasp. Saying things in “adult-speak” (that is, using words that are more complicated than they need to be or language that is vague and rambling) only makes a child feel confused, shamed, or inadequate. It also risks that they never actually truly comprehend what it is you are trying to get across to them. If we use language that makes us feel good but never actually gets the point across, then what have we accomplished? Clarity also requires that we take a clear stand on an issue and place a demand or limit on a child. The trick about clarity is to be firm and clear in a way that is measured, respectful and non-shaming.

Being “charitable” with a child communicates my positive intention: that I am not here to shame or judge them but to understand them and help them change their behavior

When I speak with a child, especially when I want to get them to listen with greater intent, I start with charity. That is, I validate them. I talk about or point out a strength or a positive intention of theirs or frame things in such a way as to understand why they may have been tempted by something or drawn to something, even though that “something” may have just gotten them into trouble! Being “charitable” with a child communicates my positive intention: that I am not here to shame or judge them but to understand them and help them change

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What I liked best about camp were the tools I could take with me into the outside world. - Lukas, 2016 Camper

Then there is brevity. Can you remember a time when you had done something wrong as a child and an adult went on and on in their lecture to you, even though you got the “message” after the first two minutes? I think everyone has a story like that. There are three key points to be made about being brief in our communication with children today, as follows:

Once children “get” what we are trying to say, if we continue to talk, we are actually impeding or interrupting them from assimilating the insight or line of reasoning we have just shared with them. The human brain cannot consciously attend to more than one thing at a time. By making children listen to us go on and on, we are preventing them from mulling over or internalizing what we have just said. It’s one or the other — they can’t do both at the same time!

Once we have made our point plain, belaboring our message may make us feel better, but it then becomes a way of humiliating and belittling the child. Creating

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I am speaking with a child about a very serious incident, I am sober in my tone of voice so as to match the gravity of the situation. Overall, however, my intention is to change behavior. Keeping things Keeping things “light” can mean “light” can mean more than just being more than just being humorous. humorous. It means It means being positive, being positive, optimistic, or upbeat optimistic, or about a child’s ability upbeat about a child’s ability to to change. change. “I know you can do this!” is an example of levity. Recent brain research tells us that when we are positive with children, we are more such feelings in a child may do a great job of likely to get a positive response from them in making them feel resentful (and in turn, less return. If our intention is to motivate children compliant) but it probably actually works to change for the better, then being positive against any hope of them actually taking with them about their ability to change is in what we are saying. We have to make a critical. decision: Is our intention to make a child feel bad or change their behavior? I have found that these four “guide posts” of communication can be used to varying Because of the popularity of texting, degrees with most people I communicate instant messaging, Twitter, e-mail, and with — not just children. Though there are other virtual and instantaneous forms of certainly other aspects of clear, quality communication, children are used to picking communication, I have found that keeping up critical pieces of information in very these four simple words in mind when I short bits. They may actually be better at communicate with others has improved teasing out the essential part of what we are understanding and created stronger saying than we are in saying it! “Brief” is the agreement and collaboration. hallmark of modern communication!

Being brief does not mean we can’t be thorough. It simply means getting to the point quickly and then ending for maximum impact. Levity, or the ability to keep things light, is a quality that I use in varying degrees depending on the situation. Obviously, if

Activity Spotlight:

Rocks & Ropes Alison “Bean” Moeschberger “On belay.” “Belay on.” “Climbing.” “Climb on.”

Although this exchange of commands between climber and belayer is simple, it represents the final gut-check before engaging in Rock Climbing & Ropes Course activities, which are among the most fun and challenging activities at camp. The Ropes Course gives campers the choice to complete the lower elements with friends or the upper course independently. Both courses have difficult elements that require agility, balance, and concentration. There are also several other activities at the ropes course area that provide campers with additional climbing and adrenaline-inducing challenges. The Zipline and Big Swing give campers an opportunity to soar through the air, and the Vertical Playpen and Giant’s Ladder test campers’ climbing strength and teamwork. Campers also enjoy Rock Climbing and The Wall, a wooden tower with climbing holds. Counselors help improve campers’ technique and guide their hand and foot placement as they are climbing. The large granite formation we use for Rock Climbing has climbs set up that range in difficulty from very easy to expert level. Campers cheer each other on as they strategically inch up the rock faces.

Alison Moeschberger is a Camp Director at Gold Arrow Camp. A graduate of Purdue University, she taught elementary school for five years prior to joining camp’s year-round staff. She has been a part of Gold Arrow Camp for the past 24 years as a camper, CIT, and staff member. Alison oversees all staff recruitment, hiring, and training. She also oversees all camp program activities. Alison is married to Andy “Soy” Moeschberger. Their four-year-old daughter, Ellie, and one-year-old daugter Greta, live with them at camp all summer and are looking forward to becoming campers in the near future.

Rocks & Ropes activities at camp are a fun and exciting way for campers to build their grit and practice teamwork. It takes a lot of physical strength and mental toughness to conquer these activities, and campers find new ways to challenge themselves each year. goldarrowcamp.com

They Learn THAT at Summer Camp? “The paddle ceremony was a place where I was surrounded by everyone I love and everyone who was experiencing the same thing as me, leaving camp, and it felt very safe. I felt so loved and protected with all the stories and traditions and people standing around me, and it’s such an amazing closure. I really appreciated it, and I will always remember it. I also love the idea of the paddle. You can be an oar or an anchor and, being a paddle, you can carry on, and I love it and treasure it. It reminds me every day to live with determination and grace and kindness.” - Julia, Graduating Camper At the close of each camp session, all “graduating” campers (the final year of camper eligibility is the summer after ninth grade) receive an invitation to attend a special private campfire ceremony commemorating their camper years at GAC. At what we now call the “Paddle Ceremony,” the campfire starts with counselors calling

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up each camper and presenting a wood paddle commemorating their time at camp. Each paddle is engraved with the camper’s name and includes as many notches as the years they have spent at camp. Most of the paddles have at least four or five notches, but some include as many as nine or ten. These are experienced campers who love coming to camp and return year after year. Counselor speak about each camper’s positive qualities and how they have contributed to the GAC community. The purpose of the paddle is to encourage former campers to be paddles—a symbol that connects them to camp and gives purpose and direction to move forward. We challenge our graduating campers to take the valuable life skills they’ve learned at camp to create positive communities where everyone has fun, makes friends, and grows. As a familiar camp object, the paddle also reminds campers that their positive lessons and memories from camp will be with them

always. Our hope is that the paddle will remind them that camp will always be a “second home” and a place where they felt safe, valued, happy and able to be themselves. At the conclusion of the campfire, we give the campers an opportunity to share any memories they have or lessons they have learned at camp that they plan to take back out into their “normal” lives. Here are just a few of the lessons our graduating campers shared last summer: “I learned how to be happy.” “I learned to be myself and not worry what other people think.” “I learned the beauty of simplicity and simple living.” “I learned to take risks and challenge myself and not worry about looking stupid if I fail.”

Teen Programs

Junior Counselor Program

“I learned how to make friends with all different kinds of people and that anyone can be your friend.” “I learned to live in the moment and just enjoy where I am now rather than worrying about the future.” “I learned how great it is to put away my phone and connect face-to-face.” The tears and hugs at the end of the Paddle Ceremony remind us all that what happens at camp is so very important and that our campers learn much, much more than how to sail, backpack, or wakeboard. They learn about life.

The Junior Counselor Program is for returning campers who are ready for more responsibility, more adventure, and more leadership opportunities at camp. The JC program focuses on five specific areas: leadership training, personal growth, professional certifications, service projects, and performance evaluations. JCs can expect to have a new, deeper, and more dynamic camp experience where they develop and practice skills needed as leaders while still experiencing the tradition, community, and fun they love about camp. Upon successful completion of the program, JCs will return home confident in their leadership abilities and equipped with the skills necessary to create positive change in their schools and communities.

Quick Facts Earn American Red Cross Lifeguarding and CPR certifications Engage in 20 hours of community service Participate in thorough Group and Activity Counselor training Develop leadership skills through training and seminars Spend two nights in the Sierra on a backpacking training trip Receive JC shirt and camp name

Summer 2017 Dates JC 1: June 25 – July 22, 2017 JC 2: July 23 – August 19, 2017 For teens completing grades 10-11

Outdoor Leadership Course The Outdoor Leadership Course is a two-week program for young people interested in developing outdoor leadership skills. Trained leaders will guide OLC participants on a challenging, six-day, 30-mile backpacking trip into the High Sierra. Throughout the session, campers will develop backcountry navigational and survival skills and participate in GAC activities.

Quick Facts Instruction, leadership skill development and fun at GAC before trip departure Leader of the Day opportunity Backcountry navigation and safety principles, outdoor cooking, “Leave No Trace” ethics, and wildlife biology Daily reflection, feedback and discussion

Summer 2017 Dates OLC 1: July 9 – July 22, 2017 OLC 2: August 6 – 19, 2017 For teens completing grades 9-11

For more information about our teen programs, please visit our website at: www.goldarrowcamp. com/teen-programs/

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The Gift of FAILURE: Autonomy Jessica Lahey

Jessica Lahey is an educator, writer, and speaker. She is an English and writing teacher, correspondent for the Atlantic, commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and writes the “ParentTeacher Conference” column for the New York Times. She is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons.

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Autonomy and independence are similar beasts, but their roots reveal a key difference. Independence is the linguistic opposite of dependence, but autonomy is something more. It comes from the Greek auto, which means “self,” and nomos, which means “custom” or “law,” so to be autonomous, a child has to have internalized a system of rules for living independently. In order to help foster the formation of this self-rule, parents have to help kids come up with a system of guiding principles so they will be able to problemsolve and think creatively while remaining rooted in tried-and-true principles of behavior. When parents are When parents are overcontrolling, overcontrolling, kids kids tend not to tend not to think think about why about why and how they act in the world. and how they act in Their choice is to the world. respond to our rules or not. When they are given more control over their worlds out of our sphere of influence, they are more likely to make solid, rule-based decisions. It’s a win-win situation for parents, really, because autonomy begets autonomy. As kids realize they have control over their worlds, they want more control over their lives and become more responsible. While the research on intrinsic motivation shows that attempting to exert control over kids undermines their sense of autonomy, this does not mean that we should not make demands of our children. Just the opposite. Children of all ages need limits and guidance from parents and teachers. Without limits, chaos ensues, and a chaotic classroom or household does not foster learning. I’ve spent a lot of time in other teachers’ classrooms, and when those teachers have poor classroom management skills and fail to set expectations for behavior, standards, and character, their students tend to be anxious, confused, and inattentive. In classrooms where teachers establish respect for the educational process and make their expectations clear, students are able to relax and focus on learning. One way parents and teachers try to impose control over children is to offer rewards: bribes, gifts, money, and yes, even praise in exchange for performance. As we saw in that example of the student who was being paid for perfect spelling scores, rewards for academic performance work only for the short term. Is your goal an A on next

Friday’s algebra test, or your child’s interest in learning math over the long term? I know. This is hard information to swallow. Reward for performance is the American way, capitalism at work, pay for play, right? As we learned back in high school science, when B. F. Skinner gave his lab rats rewards for pressing a lever, it worked. Those rats pressed that lever over and over again, and he proved that animals continue to perform a particular behavior as long as the reward is forthcoming. And there’s the key problem with using rewards to fuel behaviors. Animals continue to perform a particular behavior as long as the reward is forthcoming. But, as Deci notes, when was the last time you saw a seal balance a ball on his nose without a trainer standing there with a fish in the offing? No fish, no trick. Rewards work for repetitive, uncomplicated, or boring tasks, but when it comes to creativity and nuanced learning, they are lousy motivators. One of my favorite research studies on the subject sums up the effect of money on learning in its title: “Money enhances memory consolidation—but only for boring material.” Applying pressure in the form of control is the single most damaging thing parents and teachers can do to their children’s learning. Whether in the form of threats, bribes, deals, surveillance, imposed goals, evaluations, or even rewards and praise, control is the enemy of autonomy. We parents are all guilty. Full disclosure: There’s a chore chart on my refrigerator, and on top of that same refrigerator is my son’s favorite toy, a stuffed creature named Stinky, currently being held hostage until his room is clean, and Finn is nearly apoplectic. I had a moment of weakness fueled by frustration and accidentally reached into my old bag of parenting tricks when I made the decision to take Stinky away, and once I did it, I had to follow through. Parenting is hard, and even those of us who know what works in the abstract fall victim to old habits. That said, the research of Deci and others is clear: any strategy that undermines autonomy is probably not going to work if longterm learning is the goal. Another drawback to offering rewards as incentive is that this strategy inhibits creativity and risktaking. When rewards are at stake, emphasis is on the end result, so what’s the point of creativity? If my students know they will receive an iPod for an A, they will take the safest route to that A

because they don’t want to risk the iPod reward. The student who is motivated by the process of problem-solving and intellectual exploration learns for the sake of learning, and if the A comes, or the iPod falls into her lap, great. This is why intermittent rewards can work even if routine, expected rewards do not. The thrill and surprise of a reward when you least expect it can jump-start motivation, but again, only when it’s not part of a routine practice. Weaning children off a reward-for-performance system doesn’t happen in a day, particularly if pay-forplay has become your default parenting strategy. Keep those trained seals in mind and expect that the behaviors you have been eliciting with rewards may well stop as soon as the rewards disappear. This will likely be frustrating to both you and your child in the short term, so it might be worth talking to your older children about why you are ending the system they have come to expect. You are the model for your child’s behavior and attitude toward failure. Children need to see examples of adults admitting to their mistakes, learning how to be better parents and people, and adopting new strategies when a previous one has failed. Make sure they know that you truly believe learning springs from failure, and encourage them to view failure in the same light. Anne Sobel, a lecturer in cinematography and directing at Northwestern University in Qatar, has fought back against her students’ inclination to play it safe, by incorporating risk-taking and failure into her grading. “I tell students that if they attempt a challenging project, I will take that into consideration when I grade, even if the film falls short of their vision.” In my own teaching, I make it a practice to model a constructive and adaptive reaction to failure. I admit to my mistakes, and am honest about the moments my teaching strategies have failed my students, and those admissions have led to some of the most productive and cooperative moments in my classroom. Children need to understand that mistakes are simply a part of my efforts to become a better teacher, and that education never really ends. Modeling is a powerful educational strategy—far more powerful than the offer of an iPod or ten bucks. For some reason, it was easier for me to admit to my mistakes in the classroom than in my own home. In the middle of an argument with my teenager, or when I’d grabbed the reins on some household task that had spiraled out of control, I could feel my heels digging in, even when I knew I’d

It doesn’t matter who you are anywhere else, GAC is a place where everyone is accepted and everyone has a chance to have fun. -Dash, 2016 Camper screwed up. I had to push my pride aside a safe way to take risks, fail, and try again. and admit to my mistakes, and show my If we really want our kids to invest in longkids that I have the courage to fail, face it, term goals, those goals have to be their take the lessons to heart, and move on. goals, not ours. A friend of mine figured this When my husband and I stopped dangling out recently when her son pleaded to stop rewards in front of our kids, we decided to taking piano lessons. She was finally swayed try using something I had been using for when he told her, “Mom, I think playing ages with my advisees at school: goals. piano is your goal, not mine.” This can be My former middle school uses an advisory hard to keep in mind, particularly when a system, and teachers meet weekly with student is having problems, but for a goal to students to help them set goals regarding work, the child has to own it. everything from school to social issues to handwriting. I think goals work well for Teenagers may resist the practice of goalstudents because they are rewards that setting, particularly if you have been a remain squarely under the kid’s control. controlling parent until now (I believe my Sometimes, when I feel my advisees could older son mocked the entire idea the first use a sense of renewal or a clean slate, we couple of times I brought it up). However, talk about starting from scratch with new once they realize that you have turned over goals for a semester. For example, one of my a new leaf and want to help them achieve advisees set goals to get over her shyness, their goals, their trust in your motives will and we devised plans for talking to teachers return. And remember, this goal-setting does and asking other adults for help. She made not have to be conducted like a business huge strides that semester, because it was meeting. The best discussions are relaxed, her goal, to be completed according to her calm, and casual. My favorite conversations parameters, and if she failed, so what? She take place in the car, on walks, and in was accountable all those moments that pop up when For kids who are to no one but you least expect them. Teenagers are herself for particularly afraid and not always ready to listen or talk, and those failures. anxious about failing, sometimes you simply have to be ready Self-imposed to meet them where they are and when goals offer a private goals are about their minds and spirits are willing. the safest place proving ground, a safe there is for a kid way to take risks, fail, Be supportive of their goals. Some goals to fail. If kids are going to seem trivial, but if they and try again. make up their are important enough for your child to own goals, on their own timeline, according verbalize, they are important enough for your to their criteria, then failure is not a crushing respect and support. Deci calls this strategy defeat. Goals can be amended, changed “autonomy-supportive,” but I call it smart according to circumstances, and even parenting. postponed to maybe next week. For kids who are particularly afraid and anxious about failing, goals offer a private proving ground,

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Why Kids Need to Get Uncomfortable By Audrey “Sunshine” Monke, M.A. As parents, we spend a lot of time making our kids comfortable. At times, I’ve Feeling cold? felt like it’s I’ll grab you a sweatshirt. my duty to Hungry? alleviate any Let me get you a snack right away! discomfort Kid being unkind? my child I’ll complain to the teacher and is feeling. I make her stop! think a lot of parents feel this way during this unique era of “overparenting.” One friend described the

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“lawn mower” parent who grooms the path for their child to make it smooth and without any bumps. Over the past week at camp, I’ve been counseling a long-time camper who has never felt very comfortable at camp. The adventurous, outdoors activities mostly scare her. She prefers arts and crafts over rock climbing. Mosquitos are especially attracted to her, so on an overnight trip where other kids got no bites, she returned covered, despite using repellant. During much of her time at camp, she feels uncomfortable. Camp as a whole is

something that’s outside of her comfort zone. Why, you might wonder, do her parents continue to send her back to camp each summer when she’s decidedly not what one would call a “campy” kid? It’s because they know that her comfort zone, which includes her comfy bedroom and the living room couch, needs to be expanded. She’s a young teen who, unfortunately, hasn’t yet found a sport or extracurricular interest that has grabbed her attention. So, if she were not at camp right

now, she would be home doing a whole lot of nothing. Our theme this summer at camp was “growing grit,” and Christine Carter came to train our staff on the topic. She talked about grit in a way I hadn’t thought of before. Carter said that during the short time kids are at camp, the best way we can help them grow grit is to teach them to tolerate discomfort.

discomfort at camp. While their child is away, some parents receive a sad, homesick letter detailing how uncomfortable, miserable, and sad their camper is feeling. It’s difficult for parents to know how to respond, and the natural instinct may be to jump in the car and rush up the mountain to save their camper. But, as I’ve learned over my three decades at camp, the “saving” never turns out to be as helpful as it may seem. In fact, when struggling campers are saved rather than having to face the challenges of camp, they learn their parents don’t think they can handle discomfort, and in turn they lose a little faith in themselves; on top of being miserable, they now feel incompetent.

Some of us by nature are more “gritty” than others, able to push ourselves and deal with discomfort. Think about endurance runners who stumble across the finish line, bloody and exhausted. Others of us are more prone to climbing deeper For our kids to into our turtle shell when faced develop their grit with life’s inevitable discomforts and learn to expand and challenges. We tend to their comfort zone, hunker safely inside our comfort we need to be zone and not let anyone or supportive, engaged, anything pull us out. and empathetic,

a day. For other campers with higher thresholds for discomfort, pushing themselves to try a new activity or climb a little higher on the ropes course may be what it takes to get them outside their comfort zone. Regardless of how big or small our kid’s comfort zone is to begin with, our role as a camp counselor or a parent should be to gently expand each child’s zone and be there to support them as they face the inevitable discomfort; encouraging children to move beyond their circles of familiarity and constant care is important to helping them grow into the competent, independent, and gritty adults we want them to become.

How can we best help our kids develop into adults who persevere and can handle life’s inevitable setbacks?

We must learn to coach without immediately No matter where our kid’s (or our swooping in to ease our children to tolerate own) starting point may be, it’s their discomfort. If we their discomfort. important to explore the concept help them figure out of being uncomfortable and, as coping strategies, they parents, learn to tolerate that discomfort will be better able to respond the next time when our kids are feeling anxious, nervous, an uncomfortable or painful situation arises. or afraid. For our kids to develop their grit and learn to expand their comfort zone, we need to It’s not easy. Our natural instinct is to protect be supportive, engaged, and empathetic, our kids from any and all discomfort. And without immediately swooping in to ease when they’re little, that natural instinct serves their discomfort. us (and them) well. We change dirty diapers, feed them when they’re hungry, grab them As Carter explained to our staff, even as before they run into the street. camp counselors, it’s not our job to always make campers feel comfortable. Instead, a Unfortunately, we can’t just “turn off” our big way we can help our kids grow grit while instinct, and it can lead us astray as our kids at camp is by helping them learn to better get older. When a 14-year-old decides not tolerate their discomfort. to bring a sweatshirt to school on a cold day, he will learn from his discomfort. If we With my out-of-her-comfort-zone camper, swoop in to “save” him from the discomfort I talked about how just being at camp is a of cold, that 14-year-old will not learn to victory. She’s stretching outside her comfort appropriately dress himself. zone by sleeping in a sleeping bag, battling bugs, and hiking around camp a few miles Emotional discomfort is even harder to handle as a parent. When a kid makes a mean comment to our child and hurts his or her feelings, we bristle. We want to alleviate the discomfort immediately, so we call the school, the other kid’s parents, and the FBI to come in and stop that horrid child from making our beloved feel uncomfortable. We regularly witness varying levels of

I need camp for so many reasons. The positivity and happiness boost I receive from camp are something I need for the rest of the year. -Chloe, 2016 Camper goldarrowcamp.com

Keeping Food Real Steve “Monkey” Monke

Twenty-eight years ago, Steve began working at Gold Arrow Camp as the store manager. Today, he owns and directs the camp with his wife, Audrey. Together, they have five children and one dog. Steve has a master’s degree in Physiological Science from UCLA and has a passion for human health and nutrition. When working at the camp, Steve enjoys long distance running and cooking healthy food.

Serving around 1200 meals per day, the Gold Arrow Camp kitchen is a fast-paced mix of ovens, preparation tables, cooking equipment, and, of course, friendly people. Food service assistants, in constant motion, follow directions on the task list, ensuring that campers and staff are fed in a relatively small time window. This feat is the result of careful planning and execution. Part of the meal planning process includes determining menu options for those with specific dietary needs. Gillian “Goldie” Goldman, our Food Service Manager, takes responsibility for meeting each of our camper’s dietary needs. Depending on allergies or dietary preferences, alternatives to the main entrée are either prepared or supplemental food items are brought from home and stored in the kitchen. The camp provides a variety of food options at every meal, but Goldie and her team make sure to always offer items for people who have sensitivities to gluten, dairy, and other allergens. Food options at meals accommodate vegetarian, vegan, and paleo diets. I especially appreciated having various food options at meals this summer, as Sunshine and I started following a whole foods, grain and sugar-free diet in January. Our decision

2 Tablespoons Balsamic Vinegar 2 Tablespoons White-wine Vinegar 2 Teaspoons Dijon Mustard 1 Tsp Minced Garlic 2/3 Cup Olive Oil

Preparation:

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In a bowl whisk together vinegars, mustard, garlic, and salt and pepper to taste. Add oil in a stream, whisking,and whisk vinaigrette until emulsified.

Since following this new dietary plan, I have noticed that I feel more alert throughout the day, I enjoy the taste of foods (especially vegetables!) more, and I stay at a weight that is ideal. At Gold Arrow Camp, we want to serve food that is both healthy and that kids will actually eat. This is a tricky balance, but, in the coming years, we are dedicated to serving fewer processed foods and focusing on serving more and more items prepared with fresh ingredients, avoiding unnecessary additives. Our super-charged salad bar and daily offerings of clean-cooked baked chicken made our camp food a great fit for my diet this summer. Here are two of the 2016 gluten, sugar, and dairy-free recipes we enjoyed at camp this summer. Maybe you can make them at home to get a taste of GAC?

GAC Clean Chicken

Balsamic Vinaigrette Ingredients:

came after some online research, book reading, and first-hand reports from our long-time Island Host and Camp Dad, Dave “Roscoe” Winnaker, who is a proponent and long-time follower of paleo eating. The most challenging restrictions of the paleo diet are the elimination of refined grains and refined sugars. This can be difficult with a traditional camp menu that includes pastas, waffles, mac and cheese, Choco Tacos, and orange chicken! While I knew we couldn’t ask our campers and staff to give up these foods, I was conscious this summer of how we can always improve and vary our daily menu options to better accommodate our many campers and staff, including myself, with alternative dietary needs.

Ingredients: 4 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts 2 Tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil 1 Teaspoon Kosher Salt 1/2 Teaspoon Black Pepper 1/2 Teaspoon Garlic Powder 1/2 Teaspoon Onion Powder 1/2 Teaspoon Chili Powder

Preparation: Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Pound chicken breasts lightly so they are of even thickness. Pour olive oil in a 13” x 9” baking dish. Lightly dredge the chicken through to coat it, then place chicken breasts side by side in the dish. In a small bowl, whisk together salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder and chili powder. Sprinkle the seasoning mixture over both sides of the chicken and rub it in with your hands. Place chicken breasts side by side, making sure there is no overlap. Bake in a preheated oven for 1520 minutes, until juices are clear or a meat thermometer reads 160-170 degrees. *Note - depending on the size of your chicken breasts, it could take longer. Mine were pounded to less than an inch thick. Cover with foil and allow to rest for 5-10 minutes while the juices settle before slicing. Serve hot.

WAYS TO CONNECT WITH GAC Follow us @goldarrowcamp

1-800-554-2267 • goldarrowcamp.com

Join the GAC Runners or attend one of our GAC Chats! Check out our upcoming events at goldarrowcamp.com/upcoming-events

Meet Our Year-Round Staff Andrew

Alison

“Soy”

“Bean”

Moeschberger Assistant Director

Moeschberger Director

Steve

“Monkey”

Monke Owner/Director

Amy

“Glitter”

Chelsea

“Chelster” Rowe Director

Audrey

“Sunshine”

Bolton Office Manager/Registrar

Monke Owner/Director

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Administrative Office 1040 Pollasky Ave. Clovis, CA 93612

HOW DO YOU GET TO CAMP? Charter buses pick up and drop off campers

at these locations on the first and last day of the camp session.

Out-of-state and international

campers fly into Fresno Yosemite

International Airport or San Francisco International Airport.