Amanda Harrington
GMM Goss Media Magazine
Summer Special - #5
What’s On This Month Top
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Thrills & Spills
5 Summer Films
GMM IN THE CITY
DAN THE PAP brings you all the latest celebrity pictures
Movie of the month
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Turning and the Touchy Masseuse... GMM Style: All you need this Summer
The Saturdays Exclusive interview with Mollie King
Claudia Pink p Liverpool designer Claudia Pink invited her favourite magazine GMM to Lenny’s Bar recently for her very own fashion show. We were treated to drinks, canapes and a treat to the eyes with a host of beautiful women modelling some of Claudia’s fantastic creations. Rings, trinkets, bracelets, bikini’s - you name it, Claudia had it! If you like what you see check more of Claudia’s stuff out at www.claudiapink.com or visit the lovely lady herself at her shop in the Met Quarter.
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puts on a show ....
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8 The Saturdays 12 GMM in the city 16 Dan The Pap 19 GMM Style 22 Thrills & Spills 26 Amanda Harrington 30 Movie of the Month 34 Turning 30 38 What’s On
This Month
An exclusive Interview with Mollie King
A fresh look at new fashion in Liverpool
Who has done caught on camera this month?
Fashion accessories for the Summer
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Lissa Sian takes us through a month in the life of buying shoes
Amanda keeps us to date with her favourite designer of the month
What is the hottest film to start off the Summer?
and the
Touchy Masseuse
Our aging columnist Andrew Swanson takes us through his recent antics
What’s going on this month in Liverpool
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Editor’s Letter H
i all and welcome to the latest edition of GMM. With the World Cup taking over, we understand you girls out there might be feeling a bit rejected. But fear not - for your favourite magazine is back to bring you the latest in fashion, films and all round girlie stuff. We are swapping football for frocks, matches for make-up, soccer for stilettos... you get the picture. It has been a busy month for the team here at GMM.
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We attended a fantastic table-football event recently set up by the guys at C.A.L.M. Unfortunately the table-football referee did not see one of our goals cross the line (technology anyone?) and we where cruelly knocked out of the competition 6-5 in the last 16. But enough about us and more about what we have in store for our summer special. The hardworking team here at GMM managed to grab an exclusive interview with the gorgeous Mollie King from The Saturdays (p8). The blonde-beauty caught up with us to tell us all about the band’s forthcoming album, her love-life and what’s hot and what’s not in the world of fashion. Our brand-new columnist Amanda Harrington is back showcasing a host of amazing dresses from Ku by Spendlove and our film buff James Thomas has his long-awaited review of Carrie Bradshaw and the girls in Sex and the City 2. Dan the Pap has been busy snapping away at all you unsuspecting celebrities whilst our controversial columnist Lissa Sian has decided to tell us all just why it is so great buying a new pair of shoes. I’d also like to introduce you all to our brand new designer, the talented Adam Morgan. Adam is the technical director at AD-3D (www.ad-3d.com) and we are delighted he is on board. So, as always, sit back, relax and enjoy the best read of your entire life.
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John Harkin
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The Sa
aturdays
An interview with Mollie King Follow our GMM fan page on Facebook
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ince the Sugababes latest personnel change and Girls Aloud taking a year away from the spotlight The Saturday’s have propelled to number one girl band status in the UK. Their debut album “Chasing Lights” produced four top ten singles and announced the girls as a force to be reckoned with in the pop industry. Currently working on their new, untitled album Mollie, Una, Rochelle, Vanessa and Frankie plan to make 2010 a year to remember.
It seems like you girls haven’t stopped since you burst onto the scene in 2008, do you ever worry about burn out?
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Sometimes because we have been doing so much. But we haven’t done any live shows for a while and that has given us a lot of time to ourselves and helped us re-charge the batteries. The promotion side of things is hard but we know it is what we need to do to be successful so we don’t mind.
We caught up with Mollie King to discuss the band, boys, fashion and marriage…
“When I actually get out there and sing the first few words I get into it and really enjoy it.”
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Hey Mollie, you are currently working on your third studio album, tell us a bit about it.
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This album will be the best yet, we have been working hard on it and I have enjoyed recording it the most. It will show how we have grown since our first album but will keep our trademark style of good pop tunes.
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Do you ever get nervous when you perform live?
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Oh yeah, I am the worst. I get butterflies in my stomach every time I go out and I get really nervous. When I actually get out there and sing the first few words I get into it and really enjoy it.
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With your friend Rochelle Wiseman
dating Marvin from JLS can we expect a collaboration between the two groups?
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You never know but not on this album. There is no real surprise guests on this one and JLS definitely aren’t on it. Marvin is lovely as are all the boys in JLS so maybe something can happen in the future but not right now.
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Can we expect to see you dating someone from JLS anytime soon? They are all great, good looking guys but I am very happy in my relationship at the moment so no!
“I’m really loving denim at the moment, I know I shouldn’t but it is great.”
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Frankie Sandford recently had to deny rumours about getting married to McFly boyfriend Dougie Poynter – are you planning on tying the knot anytime soon?
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: No! Things are going great with my boyfriend but we are still young and have a lot left to do with our lives before we think about that. For now we are both just concentrating on our careers and enjoying our relationship as it is.
Summer is fast approaching, what style tips do you have for our female readers. I’m really loving denim at the moment, I know I shouldn’t but it is great. Anything denim, like denim shorts. Also big sunglasses, I got a great pair of Gucci sunglasses recently and I haven’t taken them off since I got them.
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You will be performing at Haigh Hall in Wigan on July 7th, are you looking forward to it? I can’t wait, I am nervous because we haven’t been performing lately but when we get up there and get into it there is no better feeling, I am really excited.
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ollow the Saturdays on tour;
We hear you are a big fan of Michael Buble?
Mercedes Benz World Summer Concert Series, July 3, 2010, Weybridge, UK
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Haigh Hall, July 8, 2010, Wigan, UK
I love Michael Buble! We went to see him a few weeks back in London and he was amazing, he is such a great singer. After the show we got to meet him and he was so lovely and charming. I definitely have a crush on him, who doesn’t?
Thetford Forest, July 9, 2010, Suffolk, East Anglia, UK Rochester Castle, July 16, 2010, Kent, UK Tamworth Castle, July 18, 2010, Staffordshire, UK
“I love Michael Buble!...I definitely have a crush on him, who doesn’t?” Follow our GMM fan page on Facebook
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Credits Rory Lewis Photographer www.rorylewis.info 07595 957 938 Stylist Nik Lloyd 07739722848 Makeup Artist Kate Harrison www.offmymakeupbox.com Model Hannah - Boss Model Management www.bossmodelmanagement.co.uk Hair Hooka Salon Liverpool www.hooka-uk.com Location Bold Street Liverpool
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Black Blazer Own Scarf - ÂŁ3 Shop Oldham Road Feather Broaches Urban Outfitters Bag-own Bracelet Urban Outfitters Dress Topshop
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Fur Coat Own Black Velvet dress-ÂŁ3 Shop Oldham Road Black Shoes Primark
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Tweed Jacket Own Shirt Ryans Vintage Skirt Topshop Velvet bow Arndale Market Bag Own Follow our GMM fan page on Facebook
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Dan the Pap
Hi all and welcome back to my column. With the World Cup being on a lot of the celebrities were away from the lens this month so me and my girlfriend Gemma decided to do the same. We packed our bags and jetted off to Egypt - no camera, just a bucket and spade. But fear not my loyal followers as I still managed to snap a few celebrities to keep you all entertained. Enjoy!
This months spotted .....
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If you are looking for a photographer for your event or party email me at: danny@gossmedia.co.uk Follow our GMM fan page on Facebook
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Goss Media Magazine GMM is the best celebrity and lifestyle magazine in Liverpool. Featuring exclusive interviews with superstars like Leona Lewis and The Saturdays as well as local celebrities, GMM is the perfect mix of national and local content. We take pride in promoting local fashion and trends and regularly feature articles pushing new businesses we think could rock your world. 1 YEAR SUBSCRIPTION ONLY ÂŁ20
Subscribe to GMM today and you will get: EXCLUSIVE celebrity interviews Fashion and beauty tips from some of Liverpool’s most stylish people First option on tickets, competitions and prizes for all subscribers Great film reviews of all your favourite movies. Please email john@gossmedia.co.uk with your address and bank details. Alternatively please send a cheque made payable to Goss Magazine LTD along with your address to: Goss Media, 26 Hope Street, Liverpool, L1 9BQ
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With summer approaching sunglasses are the must have essentials for all your ladies out there. Here at GMM, we have decided to pick out some of our favourite summer accessories
Photographer Rory Lewis www.rorylewis.info Makeup Artist Michelle Proctor Model Veeanne Nemesis Models www.nemesisagency.co.uk
GMM’s Bulgan Limited Edition Jonny Goggles 32 North John St, Liverpool 0151 922 1214
Style
2010
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Visor, Top Shop Liverpool One Bracelet, Hope and Winkle Petticoat Lane 100-102 Bold Street Liverpool, L1 4HY
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Tom Ford Miranda Jonny Goggles 32 North John St Liverpool 0151 922 1214
Shot on Location at the Hilton Hotel Liverpool www.hilton.co.uk 0151 7084200 Follow our GMM fan page on Facebook
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Thrills & Spills
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I know I’m not alone when I say this. That there is nothing quite so aesthetically pleasing as the sight of a new pair of virgin unsullied shoes swaddled in tissue paper lying together heel to toe in a cardboard box.
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he smell and newness of the leather, the shiny patent gloss catching the light, the exquisite engineering of the sole, cigarette-thin heel, instep, platform and the delicacy of the stitches that bring these components together to support my pedicured foot.
Women everywhere are uniformly appreciative because shoemaking, of the highest quality, is not a craft, it is an art. I recently purchased a brand spanking pair of shoes that
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by Lissa
Sian
literally took my breath away just as soon as I slid my tired world-weary tootsies into them. You’ll have seen them adorn the pages of the fashion glossies, hoofing the heels of Victoria Beckham, Cheryl Cole, Eva Longoria…and now me. They’re a pair of black patent YSL tribute shoes and as soon as I saw them under the flood-lit shop-floor lighting and gorgeous shop display. I knew I couldn’t walk away without having them.
I should say this extremely pricey pair weren’t bought on a whim. I actually promised myself I wouldn’t buy any more shoes to add to my already stacked collection for at least another three months. But disaster struck last Thursday when I was due to attend a restaurant opening and I reached for my fail safe, wear-withanything, versatile Christian Louboutin’s. I was already running late, having tried on around ten different outfits which were now strewn all over the carpet. I eventually settled on a black backless thighskimming number and now needed my red-soled skyscrapers to finish me off. I looked in their usual spot, the sandy coloured box they were purchased in… and found just one. I couldn’t understand it, but then again I’m not the most organised of people and my shoes tend to have a high misplaceabilility rating, especially when I need them the most. I remember leaving another fine pair of Patrick Cox Wannabe’s in a hotel room in Dublin and when I called the hotel to send them over- they had miraculously vanished. I still have visions of a crafty cleaner hoovering the rooms in a tabard and my superb spikes. But this time I was positive I’d put them right back in the box after the last time I wore them- come to think of it, when was the last time I wore them? I racked my brain but remembering what I wore, when and on what night was futile. I was confused, it should be right there in among the balls of tissue paper, cardboard inners, cotton dust bag, and the other shoe, but it wasn’t…
I quickly embarked on a cursory search through all the usual hiding places, under all the clothes that had now found accidental sanctuary on the floor, my wardrobes, in suitcases and every room in the house. But to no avail. I was pissed off and panicking. Now not only was I going to be more than fashionably late - I was going to have to change my whole god damn outfit. So I scavenged through my hoard of footwear and found a second-rate pair of pointed Kurt Geiger’s that in my current situation- I reasoned“They’ll do”. Now I’ll hold my hands up to this one, there have been no cleaners or shoe stealers entering my bedroom recently, so only I could have lost it. I am culpable for my own horrendous misfortune but I’m portioning blame on my haphazard lifestyle and unsettled existence. When you do as much travelling as I do it’s understandable that you’re going to leave a trail or a shoe behind.
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Except, I really was gutted about it. They were my favourites above all others. We had such a great time together; they’ve been with me through thick and thin, day and night, good times and bad. Mislaying one of half this prized pair certainly was a kick in the teeth, like losing the pivotal diamond from a jewelled crown.
They’re gorgeous, delicate and worthy of display on any mantelpiece, but what use is having an exquisite pair of pumps if they never see the light of day. I wore them for the first time and I’m not ashamed to say it, but I had more than just a spring in my step. I felt amazing and whether it was the shoes, the outfit or the confidence, I didn’t care.
So I took the day off to some sole searching. Not for the shoe I had just lost, that shoe is now known as the cousin of the extinct Patrick Cox pair, but I was searching for the heels I was to replace them with.
I noticed the stares and the catcalls. It was incredible and the shoes easily doubled – or tripled – any male attention. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe but I think Paolo Nutini summed it up best when he said: “I put some new shoes on, and suddenly everything is right.”
I decided if I were to do my Louboutin’s proud I would have to find an equally beautiful pair as a substitute. I know that’s what they would have wanted, even if it was going to cost me a small fortune. I really only had one stipulation- they have to be sky-high. I’ve been known to wear heels high enough to cause nosebleeds and as far as I’m concerned if I’m not teetering on spikes or towering on 5- inch platforms, I don’t feel like a girl. So I wandered amongst the Jimmy Choo’s, Manolo’s and Prada slingback’s but nothing was setting my heart aflutter. And then, almost as I was about to give up, I saw the polished surface of the YSL’s winking at me, as if they were flirting for my affection. I tried them on, sliding my foot inside against the blue soft-leathered insole and I was instantly smitten. I tried on the other shoe, not really to make sure it fitted but so I could wander up and down the thick carpet admiring them in the huge gilded mirror. I felt instantly sexy and I remember thinking, if shoes were made for walking, then these shoes were made for stalking. I was sole-d. 24
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I’m your new GMM monthly columnist each month I’ll be doing a photoshoot with my chosen local designer as well as keeping you up to date with what’s hot and what’s not in Liverpool.
Amanda Harrington
Venue: Rookery Hall www.handpicked.co.uk/rookeryhall 0127 061 0016 Hair and makeup: Rebecca Spendlove assistant Molly Corish rebeccaspendlove@btinternet.com Photography: BubbleGumPictures.net
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This month, the designer of my choice is Ku Design by Spendlove. I work very closely with Ku and have had many outfits made over the years. I’ll get certain ideas from the likes of vogue or Elle magazine, rip out the pictures then we will work from that and slightly change things so it’s unique to me. You can get that designer dress look for a fraction of the price. The photo shoot you will see today was shot at the beautiful Rookery hall in Nantwitch.
This month has been a real busy one for me! I am so excited at the moment. You may have seen me on a Billboard this last month as I was chosen to front the new Stella Artois campaign, It was so weird seeing myself on Billboards all over the country!! I was the genie in the bottle on 4million packs of Stella so If I was inside someone’s Stella bottle they win £100,000 how good is that!
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I’ve also shot 2 music videos last month, one of them was for a new artist called Ellis which will be in the charts very soon, the other was Dane bowers new come back single All she needs which is on MTV and all the music channels now and is released on the 4th July. More good news is I have just got my very own Amanda Harrington App for the iPhone so watch this space. As for my social calendar in the city, there is always something going on, I’ve been to quite a few events this last couple of months.
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I went to the opening of the Hollyoaks girl’s fab new shop The Closet as well as the Japanese restaurant Sakura. Japanese is my favourite so I couldn’t miss out on that one! The food was amazing and the staff where exceptional on the night, they really looked after me. I recently helped organise the Liverpool Echo’s charity event Liverpool Unites face fashion show I love to be involved in anything for charity I always do what I can. So enough from me, I’ll be back next month to fill you in on all the gossip that’s been going on, in the mean time check out my new website www.amandaharrington.com .
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Movie of the month - Sex And the City 2 By James Thomas
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fter the surprisingly mammoth box office success of the first cinematic outing of HBO’s most famous female quartet, it is no surprise what so ever to see Carrie and co back on the big screen. But two years on from the last movie, and twelve years from the beginning of the show, the woman now really have to face the facts that they are getting older, and face the issues that go with that. Carrie has to come to terms with her and Mr Big having different ideas on what there marriage should be. Miranda has trouble at work with her boss. Charlotte is struggling with the full time demands of motherhood, and is starting to become paranoid about the possibility of her husband carrying on with her young, no bra wearing, Irish nanny. And Samantha is worrying that her sex drive is decreasing as she enters into menopause. So to escape from the day-to-day troubles, the four do what we all would, go on an all expenses paid trip to Abu Dhabi and stay in a $22,000 a night room. And this is one of the main problems with the film. With taking the action from the States to the Middle East for over half the film, means taking away one of the most important aspects and characters that made the series so successful – New York itself. The show is such an inherently New York story that it just doesn’t seem to work anywhere else. 30
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Cast – Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Kristin Davis, Chris Noth Screenwriter – Michael Patrick King Director – Michael Patrick King Certificate – 15 Running Time – 146 minutes
Unfortunately that isn’t the films only problem. Carrie speaks in the film of her marriage needing to work on the sparkle, well so does the script. It’s lacking that little bit of magic and zing that was in such essence in the show, and some of the ‘jokes’ are downright awful, (the ‘Jude Law’ pun still brings a shudder). The film has come under criticism from some quarters for being racist. That is probably a bit far. However it is at the very least culturally insensitive, and conforms to negative stereotypes of the Middle East. The film at times shows the girls not adhering to, and making fun of, the local customs. And the sight of Samantha waving a wad of condoms at a group of locals was just unwarranted. This insensitivity does not seem to come from a cruel or nasty place, it’s just ignorant.
relationship is one of the more credible aspects. There are a few laughs to be had, including one of cinema’s least believable karaoke scenes. And there is a moment with Miranda and Charlotte, discussing the hardships of motherhood over cocktails, that manages to be one of the funniest, and touching scenes in the film. There is even a nice nod to a Frank Capra classic for all you film buffs out there. Despite clearly being a flawed film in many ways, the loyal following will no doubt lap every minute of it up. The fans of Sex and the City more than likely will not be going to see this film for its mature cultural politics, and to accuse Sex and the City for being to materialistic is like accusing the World Cup of having too much football. And twelve years after meeting the woman for the first time, the fans will be happy to have them back.
However, this is not the film’s main problem. The film’s main problem is that these women have everything in life so good; it’s hard to feel sorry for them, no matter how real their personal issues may be. The fact that they are given an all expenses trip to Abu Dhabi isn’t enough; they also get their own personal suites on the plane, private cars to the hotel, private elevators in the hotel, and a personal butler each while they stay there. It’s just hard to elicit sympathy for those who seem to have everything and so much more going for them. Despite all the negatives, there is still much for the loyal fans to enjoy. The four lead actresses play their parts as well as ever, John Corbett’s return as Aidan is a welcome one, and Chris Noth works so well with Parker that Big’s and Carrie’s Follow our GMM fan page on Facebook
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The Most Anticipated…THRILLER Inception – Is there any director in the world that can rival Chris Nolan’s form over the last ten years? The mind boggling Memento, the thrilling Insomnia, the cool The Prestige. And of course making the greatest comic book movie ever – Batman Begins. And then following it up an even better comic book movie, The Dark Knight, which shattered box office records, and includes one of the most iconic acting performances in years. Warner Brothers have hired him to reinvent Superman in the same way he did with Batman, and it’s not hard to see why. His latest, Inception was supposed to be the small personal film he made in between The Dark Knight and the third Batman film, instead it has become the summers most eagerly anticipated film. One of the reasons is that no-one really knows what its about, Nolan has sworn everyone to secrecy. What we do know that is that Leonardo DiCaprio leads a team who steal ideas from people’s dreams, the trailers all look as awesome, cool and exciting as you could wish for. And Nolan has assembled a top cast to work alongside Leo. Bat regulars Michael Caine and Cillian Murphy are joined by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cottilard and Ellen Page. It looks like Nolan is going to continue his winning streak, and this looks like being the film of summer 2010.
Top 5 Summer Films By James Thomas
The Most Anticipated…FAMILY FILM Toy Story 3 – The Toys are back in town. It’s been a long time since Pixar and the first two Toy Story films single handedly reinvented both Disney and the animation world, and while many things have changed, some things have stayed the same. Pixar’s output since they released one of the finest ever sequels, has been second to none, scoring hit after hit, breaking record after record. Their last two, Wall:E and Up, being two of the most critically acclaimed animations of all time. Now the studios flagship characters Woody and Buzz are back. And they look better than ever. Owner Andy has now gone to college leaving and the toys have ended up at a nursery, and they are planning to escape. The threequal looks like its got all the humor and emotion that we have come to expect from Pixar, and has already broke box office records in America and around the world. Good things come to those who wait, and Toy Story 3 looks very good indeed. Released July 19th
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The Most Anticipated…HORROR Predators – Back in the mid 1990’s, Hollywood’s very own king of cool, Robert Rodriquez wrote a script for a third Predators film. The script was never brought to screen, but recently it was found in a drawer at Fox Studios, and has finally found its way into production, however Rodriquez will not be directing, just producing. Being the first out of Hollywood’s big two sci-fi horror franchises to make a comeback after the god-awful Alien vs. Predator series, there is a lot riding on this film. But with an impressive cast including Rodriquez regular Danny Trejo, and most surprisingly, Oscar winner Adrien Brody, and some new style monsters (predator dogs anyone?), this looks like the film to bring the scares, and respectability, back to the franchise. Released August 13th.
The Most Anticipated…ACTION The Expendables - Listen to this for a cast. Sylvester Stallone. Jet Li. Dolph Lundgren. Jason Statham. Mickey Rourke. Randy Couture. Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bruce Willis. And, Arnold Schwarzenegger. If that doesn’t have the action movie fan in you giddy with excitement there may be something wrong with you. Or you’re a woman. For you women out there try and imagine a Sex and the City/Twilight hybrid, with Meryl Streep, Cameron Diaz and Reese Witherspoon thrown in for good measure. That’s how good this cast is. And the trailer has all the fight and explosions that you would hope for. Released August 20th.
The Most Anticipated…ROMANCE The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – So here we go. Only seven months after the release of New Moon, the most famous cinematic inter-species love triangle is back. Now the Vampire Cullen family must enlist the help of Jacob and his werewolf clan, as an old enemy has raised a new army of vampires. With the promise of an epic battle scene, this could the most action packed in the series yet. But most importantly it still has both Edward and Jacob claiming they love Bella the more than the other and are what’s best for her, and poor Bella still stuck in the middle. Expect more long stares, moody looks, six packs and Jedward style hair than you ever thought possible. Released July 9th.
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Turning 30 and the Touchy Masseuse... So for the last few weeks and months I’ve been pursuing this idea of trying something new every month. So far I’ve enjoyed a brief foray into the world of amateur dramatics, a go at stand up comedy and the dubious “pleasure” of completing a marathon. The thing that has prompted this sudden burst of activity has been a somewhat significant, and increasingly impending, landmark birthday. Yes this year I turn 30...
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s a man who’s certainly prone to a spot of over analysis I knew such an event would never pass without at least some level of painfully introspective wonderings. But this month folks the fateful day finally arrived and I’ve got to say even I was not prepared for just what kind of effect it would have on me. My something new this month was something that I’d always quite fancied doing as I approached the final weeks of being twenty something I decided to embark on a task that would leave me mentally drained and physically destroyed.... no not a night out with Kerry Katona, I’m talking about a triathlon. Swimming, cycling, running. One after the other, as fast as you can, overly revealing tight shorts and crop top optional (thank goodness). I promptly checked it out on the internet and without much regard for my ailing physical state or the ridiculously short time it left me to do any significant training (two weeks) I paid my fee and signed up there and then. Not wanting to approach something so hard core alone I managed to rope in my good, if unsurprisingly reluctant, friend Will to come 34
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along for the ride... and the swim, and the run. This was it. Not only would I complete something I’d always wanted to do just ahead of my 30th birthday but the training needed would give me a focus and take my mind off the terrifying thought that I was soon to enter the age where the phrase responsible adult is sad admission and not just something you snigger at while downing shots with your mates and giving one of them a wedgy. The triathlon fell ten days before my birthday and I felt like by completing it I’d feel like I’d at least seen of my twenties in style. So with just two weeks to go and almost no natural fitness to fall back on I kick started the kind of training regime you’d be used to seeing in Rocky one, two or three, minus the raw egg breakfast and the cut off grey sweater. I hit the gym like a maniac. Cycling, running, aching, spluttering, wheezing, falling, collapsing, regretting. My poor body didn’t know what had hit it.
If my legs could talk I’m sure they would’ve have looked up and with a sorrowful, whiny voice asked what are you doing to us Andrew? We’ve been good to you all these years. Supported you and this is how you repay us? By springing this on us without a word of warning? Well we won’t do it? We love you but we can’t support you in this. And they promptly gave up the ghost.
get me running out of there, fitter than ever, and ready to go. I left feeling cold, ashamed and a little confused. Now having never needed a sports massage before this was my debut and as such I was a little unsure of what to expect. What was normal behaviour and what was not. So when he told me to hop on the massage table I asked do I need to take off my trousers or just roll my leg up?
After a week of over doing it I went for one big bike ride and run combo to round it all off. Not long into the run I felt a twinge in my calf. Three days later it had turned into a full on pulled muscle that hurt to even walk on. I was six days away from the triathlon and I could hardly walk. I began to panic. Not only was my place on the starting line under threat but with it my crutch for coping with old age. With the triathlon I felt like I had a tidal wave of purpose and a sense of achievement that would propel me onto the sandy shore of my 30s ... all be it leaving me there all washed up like a beached whale afterwards. In my desperation to try and make it I decided a good sports massage was in order. I booked the first place I could find in the yellow pages and prayed that whoever it was would have magic in their hands. What I actually got was a bloke with a twinkle in his bespectacled eyes and a closeted longing to have a lot more than magic across his palms. I walked into the converted upstairs flat just desperately hoping that he could push something, prod something, click something back into place in just the right way so as to mend whatever was wrong and Follow our GMM fan page on Facebook
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He replied in a manner that would’ve done Kenneth Williams and Larry Grayson’s love child proud with the immortal words Definitely the trousers off... anything else after that is up to you. I found this a little strange but as I say this was my first time and my main focus was getting healed. So I lay face down on the massage table with my head cradled in my folded arms. Then out of the corner of my eye I notice that Mr Masseuse appears to be removing his shirt. My instant thought was if he’s going to massage me topless I have two choices. One run away or two hit him and then run away. Then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, to my astonishment he removed his trousers and stood in just his boxer shorts for a good five or six seconds. I was about to stand up and say something but then he reached over and put on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt. Helps me move about more freely, he said. Why on earth didn’t you do that before I arrived I thought. The massage itself was pretty good as he tried a variety of heat rubs, hot stones and other techniques to work out what I was told was a lactic acid build up and a pretty major strain. He did punctuate the different treatments with rather worrying comments like you’ve definitely got the best physique we’ve had in this week, and oh can’t you
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call in sick this afternoon we could do this all day, but what he was doing seemed to be working and I was desperate. I did draw the line when he appeared after a momentary break with a jug of liquid, poured me a glass and said that I needed to drink as much of it as possible to stay hydrated. My immediate thought, and one that I’ve grown more confident of in the days since, was that there was absolutely no way I was drinking anything this guy gave me. If I had I feared I may wake up in the back of a darkened van, with a drowsy feeling and my underpants on back to front. All was going well until he explained that he needed to work the built up lactic acid into my lymph nodes. One in the back of the knee and one in my groin. He worked his, now quite clearly, unmagical hands up my thigh and began to peel my boxers up to give him more purchase. He got closer to Ted and Tony than any man has since my father changed my nappy as a toddler and as he clumsily grazed what I can only hope was a thumb against my personals I leapt to my feet and declared that the session was over. I rested and bathed, and iced and massaged my leg for the next three days but no change. Still incredibly painful to walk on. I left my decision until the very last minute but late on the Saturday night I took the disproportionately heart wrenching decision to pull out of the next morning’s event. I had failed and for the first time not met my objective of trying something new each month. I cannot describe the level of disappointment I felt. I was distraught, not least because having roped poor Will into competing with me I’d now left him to do the whole thing on his own.
I felt like my purpose and focus, the thing that was taking my mind of the big birthday had been stolen from me... or at least stripped and sold for parts. This made the remaining days of my twenties even harder to cope with. For me, but I suspect more so for my poor wife. Grouchier than The Grouch, more bitter than a pint of John Smiths and more heinous than Jordan and Piers Morgan put together I was reduced to bad moods, temper tantrums and a permanently anguished face as I constantly slipped into day dreams about my younger years, only to awake to the frightening reality. I found myself quoting TV shows or old film stars to the younger people at work only for them to look at me with blank faces, not knowing who or what I was talking about. I found myself inadvertently and subconsciously inheriting more and more of my dad’s middle-aged mannerism by the day. The head shake in the rear view mirror of the erratic motorway driver, the banal mutterings whilst doing DIY... come to think of it doing DIY at all. The eehs and arrrghs that I uttered each time I bent over or negotiated a set of stairs and the utter inability to understand the appeal of any music made after my 15th birthday. This was it. I was seeing the tunnel at the end of all of these lights. The darkness was calling me in and it was suffocating.
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What’s On?
Status Quo are the latest act to sign up for The Summer Pops Festival, performing at the Echo Arena on Friday 9 July 2010. Beatles Day - The Concert will once again take place at the Echo Arena on Saturday 10 July, as part of Liverpool Summer Pops Festival. Rod Stewart will perform at the Echo Arena on Wednesday 21 July 2010, as part of the Summer Pops Festival.
Rap superstar Chipmunk presents the Shine Shine tour on July 13 Rock group Elliot Minor take to the stage on the 16th July Lightspeed Champion (friends of Arctic Monkeys) will be lighting up the 02 Academy on July 30.
Zappa Plays Zappa, a tribute to the legendary rock guitarist and composer Frank Zappa, will perform at the Echo Arena on Sunday 25 July.
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is on tour and runs from the 1st to the 17th of July. Strictly Tapdance Fever comes to the empire on July 19. The Gruffalo - musical adaption of the famous picturebook is on from 20 to 21 July. Motown’s greatest hits show arrives on the 25th.
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The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists returns to the Everyman, July 10. Phoenix Dance Theatre open their new tour in Liverpool on the 15th and 16th of September
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