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FS121_COVER.qxd_FS 14/11/2010 13:09 Page 1

the fIt and sexy gay Mag Issue #121 WInter 2010

5 ben cohen+ ways you can stop the spread of hIV

Get up close and personal with

Sort your life out

Learn to be your own life coach!

Beat the holiday blues

Discover the truth

“My boyfriend wants to do porn!”

Why are we still catching HIV?

The test is free, confidential and accurate.

Find your nearest clinic at www.gmfa.org.uk/rapidtest or call Funded by the Pan-London HIV Prevention Programme.

Terrence Higgins Trust is a registered charity in England & Wales (no.288527) and in Scotland (no.SC039986).

FS121_P03_Contents_FS 14/11/2010 13:29 Page 3

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Hello

Look what we’ve got…

Join us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/fsmag Come on... do it now!

Brought to you by

‘tis the season for surprises, and boy do we have one for you.

It’s only Ben Cohen! In a FS exclusive, our new-best-mate Ben chats about sport, his gay fans and why he wanted to add his voice to the “It Gets Better” campaign against gay suicide. He really is one of a kind and we are proud to have him in FS. In other parts of the mag we discover why guys are still catching HIV and how you can get the most out of life by being your own life coach.

Remember you can always view the mag online with our online viewer at www.gmfa.org.uk/fsmag. And in the new year, you will be able to download FS to your iPhone and iPad. We’re beyond excited...

Funded by the Pan London Cary James, Editor HIV Prevention Programme

Do you think you could write for FS? If so email fsmag@gmfa.org.uk to find out how to apply to be a freelance writer for the mag. www.gmfa.org.uk

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LLGS Advert for FS.pdf

18/10/2009

4:27:38 PM

You can talk to us about anything; safer sex, sexual health, perhaps you’re worried about a recent sexual encounter, HIV or AIDS. We’ll tell you what the risks are and what precautions you can take.

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The nation’s LGBT helpline. Help us to continue to support the community by DONATING or JOINING OUR TEAM of award winning volunteers. To find out more visit LLGS.org.uk Funded by the Pan London HIV Prevention Programme

FS121_P05_Upfront_FS 14/11/2010 13:33 Page 5

! UPFRONT

Survive the holidays Not all of us will be lucky enough to find this lad under our tree. If you find the holidays can be less than jolly, here are some things you can do to increase the joy!

Make time for you During the holidays, take a break from the festivities and find some time for yourself. Focusing on yourself will help you remember what really makes you happy. This actually works at any time of year.

Don’t pig out A healthy diet can help promote a sense of well-being, but that’s not always easy at this time of year. Enjoy holiday eating, but remember that moderation is the key. Pigging out will reduce your energy levels, making you feel lethargic and more prone to low moods.

walk, can significantly improve your mood. Make it a priority. Schedule it into your day or just grab any spare time you can.

l If you feel like you need someone to talk to, ring the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90, or go to the listings at the back of the mag where you can find more advice and support.

Get some sleep Make sure you get enough sleep to prevent fatigue, maintain a high energy level, reduce your stress level and prevent you from feeling depressed.

Get some support Holidays tend to remind us of the losses in our lives and it’s natural to have feelings of anger, sadness or confusion.

You don’t have to cope with this alone. Having a support network of family and friends can help to relieve the losses in our lives. If you don’t have any of these handy, ring the Samaritans or a gay helpline to talk things over. You do not have to be suicidal to ring the Samaritans.

Don’t get totally plastered Alcohol dehydrates your body making you feel sluggish. Drink plenty of water to feel refreshed and energetic. Alcohol is also a depressant and drinking to excess can make depressed feelings worse.

Get off your arse Taking a little light exercise, even a www.gmfa.org.uk

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FS121_P06-07_PAGE6_FS 14/11/2010 13:39 Page 6

5 upfront

ways to stop the spread of hiv

will know my HIV status 1 IOne-in-four gay men who have HIV don’t

know they have it. If you don’t find out you have HIV until you become ill, it can cause more damage to your health than if you found out earlier. If you don’t know you have HIV and continue to have unsafe sex you could be spreading HIV without even knowing it.

Or if you know for certain that you don’t have HIV, you’ll be more motivated to not to catch it.The only way to know your HIV status is to test regularly. New tests mean that you can get your result in just a few minutes.

Check out the listings at the back of the magazine for HIV testing services or visit www.gmfa.org.uk/testing.

I will not assume I know 2 someone else’s HIV status Some people think they can tell if someone has HIV by what they look like, their age, where they met them, or if they look ‘healthy’ or ‘sick’. The truth is you can’t tell if someone has HIV or not. To take risks based on stereotypes that you have about people with or without HIV is a bad idea and leads to the spread of HIV.

I will take personal responsibility 3 for using condoms “Well he didn’t seemed bothered about using condoms, so I just went along with it.” Sound familiar? Some of us end up having sex without condoms because we leave it tothe other guy to bring it up or we are too embarrassed to bring it up ourselves.

If we are going to stop the spread of HIV, each of us needs to take responsibility for using condoms, every time.

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will value myself and my health 4 IFeeling good about yourself and wanting to be healthy play a big part in choosing safer sex. If you feel depressed, you are more likely to take risks than if you are feeling good about life. So if you’re feeling a bit down, ring your mates, get some exercise, or join a social group. There’s free counselling available to gay men around the UK that can help. Check out the listings at the end of this magazine for more information.

will stay informed about HIV 5 Iand how it’s spread Most of us think we know all there is to know about HIV and how it’s spread. But there’s still a lot of bad information out there and you may be taking risks without even knowing it.

Make sure you have the best information by getting it from a trusted source. Check out www.gmfa.org.uk/sex for the most up to date information and advice on how to have the best sex at the lowest risk.

Count Me In is a new campaign by GMFA asking gay men all around the UK to make a commitment to stop the spread of HIV in our community.

We can do this by doing our best to live by the five-point action plan in this feature.

If everyone lived by these points, we could stop HIV affecting more lives. For more information, to meet the guys who have already joined the campaign and to find out how you can be part of it too, visit www.facebook.com/gmfa.uk.

Don’t you hate it when you miss an issue of FS? We’ll make sure that never happens again...

Just email your name and email address to fsmag@gmfa.org.uk or join us on Facebook.com/gmfa.uk We’ll let you know when the next issue is available online and other cool stuff.

Do it now! www.gmfa.org.uk

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Think you need drugs for a good time?

Feeling defensive, guilty or ashamed?

Are drugs spoiling your sex life?

Think you might have a drug problem?

If so, we may be able to help.

FREE 8 week programmes run in the evenings in central London from 6.30-9pm.

For more information, venue details or to book an assessment, call 020 7812 1773 or email groupworklondon@tht.org.uk Funded by the Pan-London HIV Prevention Programme Terrence Higgins Trust is a registered charity in England & Wales (no.288527) and in Scotland (no.SC039986).

FS121_P09-10_Life coach_FS 14/11/2010 13:41 Page 9

How to be your own life coach

upfront

People spend thousands of pounds on life coaches to help them get the most our of life. But what if you don’t have the dosh? Stuart Haggas find out that the best coach you can have is looking back at you in the mirror.

We all need a hand now and again to help us make the best of ourselves.

So if you’re unhappy with your current boyfriend, or you fear you’re addicted to internet dating, or you’re dissatisfied with your body shape, or dreading the future as your next birthday approaches – why bury these fears in the sand when you can do something about them?

A life coach can help you to improve your life by working with you to identify where things are going wrong, then guiding you over those hurdles to attain more

“Working with a life coach is rather like having a personal trainer at the gym”

success, happiness, and personal fulfilment.

Adam Clark of Gay Life Coach specialises in helping gay men take control of their lives by overcoming common challenges like issues with self-esteem, body image, health, sex and relationships. “Working with a life coach is rather like having a personal trainer at the gym,” explains Adam. “You may not be that out of shape, but until you have the expert guidance of a good coach you may not realise just what you’re capable of. In our coaching we help people to examine the messages they give themselves.

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What is life coaching?

www.gmfa.org.uk

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FS121_P09-10_Life coach_FS 14/11/2010 13:41 Page 10

upfront It’s shocking how many of those we see handicap their chances of happiness and success by telling themselves that they’re not worthy, that they’re not attractive, that they don’t deserve to succeed. In our initial consultations with clients we begin the process of rewriting this internal script.”

DIY life coaching Hiring a life coach isn’t for everyone, but you can still get all the benefits by being your own life coach!

To be an effective self-coach you must be willing to play the role of a life coach and be honest with yourself when identifying your personal strengths and weaknesses.

Effective life coaching boils down to asking the right questions, answering honestly, and then acting on the answers – so effective self-coaching requires you to question yourself as objectively as you can, and then use your answers to set yourself some new life goals. It’s also vital to keep yourself motivated so you’ll stick to those goals.

One key objective of self-coaching is to lead yourself to a place where you feel more happy, fulfilled, and successful in areas such as relationships and friendships, your health and fitness, career, family, and financial well-being. If you’re not as happy or as successful as you’d like to be in one or more of those areas, why do you think that is? And what’s holding you back from making the necessary changes? These are the sort of questions you might vaguely ponder when you’re bored at work, or when you’re stuck in traffic, or waiting for a train – now it’s time to put those thoughts into words and then into actions.

Write it down To begin with, it’s a great idea to invest in a notebook to use as your self-coaching journal. Open your heart on that first page and make a note of what’s currently going right in your life, then write down anything and everything that’s going wrong. You should next think of all the things you could do to try and fix what’s wrong – this simple analytical process will result in a list of goals. Your aim over the coming weeks and months is to work on attaining those goals.

As time progresses, continue to record your thoughts about what’s good and bad about your life, and track whether or not you’re meeting

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Your step-by-step guide to self life coaching Evaluate the situation: decide what is good and bad about your life right now, remembering to be candid but kind to yourself.

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Consider your options: make a plan, establish a timeframe, and set yourself some goals.

2

Be specific: clearly defined goals are more obtainable than daydreams.

3

Take action: change negativity and bad habits with positive thoughts and actions.

4

Take more action: learning new skills might be what’s needed to realise your ambitions and turn yourself into who you want to be.

5

Keep a track of your results: regularly update your self-coaching journal so you can see what progress you’re making, and remember to give yourself a big bold tick whenever you complete a goal.

6

Strategise: if something isn’t working, be prepared with a Plan B. 7

Keep motivated: change can’t happen overnight, so patience and persistence will be required.

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all the objectives that you’ve identified for yourself. By writing everything down you’ll also be able to see which strategies are working and which ones aren’t and may need tweaking. Be sure to date every entry so that you can trace your personal development, and remember to give yourself a big bold tick whenever you complete a goal.

“Once you’ve started the process, it’s exhilarating to realise how much more you can do.”

“I would say that the single most important step that anyone can take towards their own happiness is to recognise that change always has to start with you,” says Adam of Gay Life Coach.

“It’s no good moaning about your boyfriend, or lack of one. It’s futile to rant about the world. Instead, channel those energies into giving yourself positive messages – you are worthy, you are attractive, you can change your life for the better.

Once you’ve started the process of changing the script, it’s exhilarating to realise how much more you can do and be than perhaps you even dreamed was possible.”

Make time for yourself If you were paying to see a professional life coach, you’d make time to speak to them regularly – so if you’re self-coaching it’s equally important to set aside regular periods of time for yourself. And remember that change doesn’t happen overnight.

If you need help to kick-start the process, or to keep yourself motivated and enthusiastic, Adam recommends Fiona Harrold’s book Be Your Own Life Coach. Or visit www.gaylifecoach.co.uk where Adam and his partner Tony Dines have developed a series of downloadable self-coaching programmes that tackle specific issues like finding a boyfriend, keeping a boyfriend, fidelity, and self-esteem on the scene. Adam and Tony are also currently developing an iPhone app that for less than £3 will provide users with some of the structure and support that you’d get from coaching. So take a break from Grindr and Facebook and for once try something that might actually be good for you.

l www.gaylifecoach.co.uk

FS_mag_advert

2/12/08

09:17

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FS121_P12-15_Ben Cohen_FS 14/11/2010 13:42 Page 16

cover story

Don’t you just love…

Ben Cohen He’s one of the world’s top rugby players, but he still finds time speak out against gay suicide, support gay causes and meet his gay fans.

There aren’t many sportsmen (gay or straight) that you can say that about. And he’s hot, seriously hot – a killer combination. FS meets the man that scores with us every time.

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When did you first realise that you were beloved by the gay community? How did it feel at first?

In 2003 after we (England) won the World Cup I started to get emails which were very flattering and not just about the rugby I was playing. The majority of them came from men so I realised then that something was developing. I didn’t mind. I never have minded. Why should I? It makes you feel good when people say nice things to you.

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“I’ve met so many really great guys who are gay and support me. It is the most natural thing in the world to return that support.”

www.gmfa.org.uk

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FS121_P12-15_Ben Cohen_FS 14/11/2010 13:42 Page 18

cover story This question is from Josh from our Facebook page: think, but there is still a lot of ignorance around – we all “Other sports stars such as David Beckham who also know that. Sport seems to be a bit behind other areas have a large gay following tend not to interact with their of life for some reason. Some sports, anyway. I don’t gay fans as much as you do. Why are you different?” know, I’m not an expert. I can say though that rugby Well let’s face it, football and rugby are worlds apart as players are not really bothered about whether someone far as media attention is concerned. I would imagine that is gay or not. It’s how they play the game that matters. personalities such as David Beckham would find it that We all know that Nigel Owens, one of our international bit more difficult to interact too much. It’s difficult to say referees, is gay but it makes absolutely no difference to really. I have Jill who looks after my PR for me and us. He does his job and so do we. makes sure that I know everything that is going on, and she makes sure that I keep in touch with everyone.

You recently supported GMFA’s Gay Sports Day I probably wouldn’t know where to start on my and Manchester’s bid to host the gay rugby own. You need the people around you to world cup. What attracts you to supporting “Rugby make it happen, we still like to make sure these kinds of events? players are that I personally get involved and it’s not Over the past years I have met so just a media machine. That would be many really great guys who are gay not really disrespectful to those who support me. and support me. It is the most natural bothered about Also, I went through a bit of a thing in the world to return that whether someone support. Not only that, sport has wilderness time with my rugby when I left Northampton and I played in Brive been my career. So it’s a no brainer is gay or not. It’s for 18 months. I dropped out of the really. I play in Manchester and how they play the would like to see revenue and interest England rugby scene when I was down game that there but those supporters, who are come to the city. I wanted to get over mainly from the gay community, kept to the last Bingham Cup in Minnesota matters.” supporting me and that means a huge but that didn’t come off unfortunately. amount to me. I still see names on Facebook I hope to be able to get along to the and emails now who were supporters back then.

Manchester one in 2012.

That’s loyalty and I like that.

How do your team mates react to the fact that you have You made a really heartfelt video for the “It Gets Better” gay fans and support LGBT causes? campaign (after the suicides from gay bullying in the I think they think it’s fun. They’re used to it, I suppose.

USA). What moved you to make the video?

They may well tease me a bit but because I’m quite I heard something on the radio. I didn’t know about deaf I probably wouldn’t hear them anyway. No, really, what was happening with these kids committing suicide we talk rugby a lot. We are there to do a job. I don’t tend in the USA, but then when I heard about it and I started to discuss my off-pitch stuff too much as I am focussed to see messages on Facebook about it, I thought – well, on playing well for Sale and being able to get picked to this is terrible and so unnecessary. I’m a dad and if I play each week, so that’s where my priorities lie. thought my girls could ever get to the stage where they felt that lonely, I don’t think I could cope. I started to What advice would you give a gay person who is think about all the people that would be affected and I talented and wants to get into sport, but is afraid of they just felt I had to do something. I didn’t really have a won’t be accepted? plan. I just sat in front of my laptop and talked. I thought, I would say the same thing to a gay person as I would well if I could make a difference to just one person, it say to anyone who wants to achieve something in life. would be worth it. I rang Jill late on a Saturday night to Go for it. It’s as simple as that. We all have fear for tell her I’d done it. She uploaded it on to YouTube there lots of reasons but we have to push through that and and then and it got lots of views. To me I just felt it was make things happen. Nothing is given to you on a the natural thing to do. I had been given a platform on plate, whoever you are. It’s about finding the way which to shout a message so I did it. to make things happen and keeping your mind on your dreams. When I am doubtful about something There are still very few out gay sports people out there.

I always say to myself, well how will I feel if I don’t do Do you think there is still a lot of homophobia inside it? That thought helps me to get over the fear. If it sport? Do you think things are changing? means enough to you, you will push the doubt aside Yes, I do think things are changing. Mostly for the best I and make it happen.

WIN WIN WIN To make sure your new year starts off on the right foot, we have three Ben Cohen calendars to give away. But that’s not all. Each calendar will be autographed by Ben especially with a personalised message for each winner!

For a chance to win, visit our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/fsmag, ‘Like’ us, and post “I love Ben Cohen in FS”. Or email your name and details to fsmag@gmfa.org.uk. Competition closes midnight Sunday 19 December.

l For more info on Ben and to buy his calendar and other Ben goodies, visit www.ben-cohen.com.

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FS121_P16-21_HIV feature_FS 14/11/2010 13:49 Page 16

health

Why are guys still catching

HIV? “Don’t die of ignorance” was the slogan used in the eighties when HIV first came about, to warn people to learn the facts about HIV and AIDS. Thankfully with modern drug treatments, most positive guys in the UK are living with HIV rather than dying from it.

But more of us catch HIV every year.

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listings

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t’s nearly 30 years since young gay men in California and New York suddenly started developing rare infections and cancers that resisted treatment. It’s just a little bit less time since the disease they were dying from was given a name… Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, or AIDS. You’d think by now that most of us would know what we need to do to avoid becoming infected. So why are we still catching HIV? “We have identified what we think are the three main drivers of the continual spread,” says Chris Patmore from GMFA, the gay men’s health charity.

FS decided to take a closer look at what they are…

Stigma and stereotypes The stigma surrounding HIV makes it extremely hard for men who are diagnosed with it to tell their status to a sexual partner, according to the World Health Organisation. “Stigma clouds HIV in secrecy and uncertainty,” explains Dr Adam Bourne, Research Fellow at Sigma Research, University of Portsmouth.

“Because many men find it such a difficult subject to talk about, and because they are so fearful of it, they often rely on assumptions and very stilted conversation to try and get across what they mean.”

John, 34, from Brighton knows how it feels to be stigmatised. “I’ve been HIV-positive for the past seven years but I’m too afraid of someone walking out of the bedroom if I tell them my status,” he says. “I always insist on using condoms when I’m having sex. I am extremely careful and I’ve made the decision not to disclose my status to guys, even if they ask. I feel that as long as I am being proactive in being safe I don’t need to say anything.”

In addition, a guy’s positive status often leaves him feeling devalued, which in turn can lead to more risky sexual choices. “Stigma makes it hard for gay men to accept that HIV may be a factor in the sex that they have,” explains Adam. “This can influence how likely they

“I’m too afraid of someone walking out of the bedroom if I tell them my status.”

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health are to have safer sex.”

Stereotypes, the ideas we have about something based on assumptions, also play their part in the spread of HIV. “Some guys think you can tell who is HIV-positive by their looks or actions, or where they hang out or have sex,” says GMFA’s Chris Patmore. “Lots of research has shown us that many gay men still believe they can tell who has HIV,” adds Adam from Sigma Research, “and they expect that healthy looking men could not possibly be infected.

This may influence their decision whether or not to negotiate safer sex with such a guy.” Yet the majority of men living with HIV in the UK will have no outward signs of the infection, so it’s impossible to really know who’s infected and who isn’t.

If some guys think they’re more likely to catch HIV in certain places, again because of stereotypes, they may be less cautious in other places, thereby unwittingly putting themselves at risk. “There are certain clubs I would never go to for sex or to pick up a guy,” says James, 22, from London. “Some clubs are more sexually charged than others and I think HIV and STIs are more rife in certain clubs and venues.” Yet it seems reliance on guesswork and luck is a risky strategy.

In a recent study by Sigma Research many positive guys said they’d love to be open and honest about their status with everyone – partly because they may feel it is the ‘right’ thing to do – but they are prevented from doing so by the widespread stigma and discrimination. “HIV spreads because it remains hidden and isn’t spoken about, fuelled both by fear and stigma,” says Richard Scholey from the Terrence Higgins Trust. “If more men felt able to be open about being positive it could help reduce the spread.”

regular re-testing – something which hasn’t been heavily promoted in the UK – are key in the battle against HIV. So what can be done to get guys to take it seriously? “We need to create a community norm of regular HIV testing and we need to address the main barriers like fear of testing positive, the inconvenience of the testing process, and a belief that the In 2008, the Gay Men’s Sex Survey unprotected sex, someone had revealed that 30 per cent of gay men couldn’t have put them at risk,” says had never been tested for HIV. For Richard from THT. “Half of gay men those who had been tested, only 32 don’t know rapid testing exists, but per cent had re-tested in the previous you can now test and get instant 12 months. Yet people who find out results, and you no longer need to they do have the virus may change wait three months between taking a their sexual behaviour as a risk and testing.” result of the diagnosis.

The message is simple – “Most men don’t test don’t test and you because they, rightly could infect someone or wrongly, see no you care about. need,” explains “That is often a Richard from THT. jolt,” says Richard, “They are sure “as most men, if enough they are they think about negative and HIV at all, just perceive they think in terms of haven’t taken someone giving it risks. I think many to them rather men don’t consider than the possibility the possibility of of them giving it undiagnosed infection unknowingly to – they believe if you get others.”

HIV you will somehow feel it’s happened. As they feel fine they If you don’t know your status, it’s see no need to test.”

Peter, 24, from south London says: important to get tested.

If you do know it, and you’re “I’ve only ever had one HIV test which was negative. That was nearly HIV-negative, then test regularly, two years ago. I play pretty safe but at least once a year. “Rapid test services mean you can be in, should probably go for another test sometime soon just to be sure as I’ve tested and get your result in been trashed and careless on one or minutes, and they use finger pricks too, not needles,” says two occasions.”

Richard from THT. “You can Hasit, 26, from Battersea has a different story: “I get tested every six access excellent treatment if you have HIV… but leaving it till later months simply because I am risks death or serious illness.” sexually active and I want to know my most up to date status. It’s just a Isn’t it time to gain control over your life rather than lose control? part of my life, like getting regular For more info, visit check-ups at the dentist.” www.gmfa.org.uk/testing.

Worryingly, men who have the Stigma around HIV is clearly a virus but are unaware of the fact difficult problem to overcome. stand a greater chance of infecting But all gay men can play their others than those receiving part in stopping the stereotyping. treatment. “We do know that men Don’t assume you can tell if who have become infected with HIV someone is HIV-positive or but who have not been diagnosed negative, or have sex based on will not be on HIV medication,” your stereotypes. You may be explains Adam from Sigma putting yourself or someone else Research. “This means that over time at risk. the level of the virus in their blood and in their semen will grow higher and higher. The higher a person’s viral load, the more likely it is that that they might transmit HIV to another person if they are having unprotected sex. Clearly, testing and

What to do about it

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Lack of HIV-testing

“HIV spreads because it remains hidden and unspoken about, both fuelled by fear and stigma.”

What to do about it

FS121_P16-21_HIV feature_FS 14/11/2010 13:49 Page 19

Poor mental and emotional well-being

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The third key factor in the continued spread of HIV relates to a person’s mental and emotional state.

“We find that if guys feel low about themselves and are not getting the emotional support they need, then it might mean they go out and take sexual risks,” says Anthony Johnson, HIV Prevention Services and Community Development Manager at PACE. “A study looked at gay men who were infected with HIV and there was a correlation with life traumas, including break-ups and bereavements.”

Denton, 27, from Peckham knows this from experience. “When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I left my job and went to look after him,” he reveals. “I got depressed and www.gmfa.org.uk

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FS121_P16-21_HIV feature_FS 14/11/2010 13:49 Page 20

health

Interview: Andy, 23 From London

Are you worried about catching HIV? I’m not really worried as I always have safe sex but you can never be sure.

Why do you think some guys don’t get tested?

Everyone’s nervous about getting tested because if you get a positive result your life changes in an instant. Also I think guys don’t get tested if they think they’ve always been safe. Why bother?

Don’t you think it’s better to know your status?

I think it is better to know, but most guys who don’t test think they know anyway.

They think they are negative, though of course there is probably a group who think the opposite but don’t want to find out. I guess they’d rather not know, but if those guys are shagging around carelessly then that’s dangerous and selfish.

Do you think you could tell if someone has HIV? Absolutely not. I have a friend who is HIV-positive and he doesn’t look any different from me or my mates.

Anyone who thinks they can tell must be stupid.

What do you think is the biggest misconception gay men have about catching HIV? I think a lot of guys don’t take HIV very seriously.

Especially nowadays, when hardly anyone dies. My friend who’s HIV-positive says that it’s just like diabetes in so far as you simply take your daily tablet and that’s all there is to it. I’m not sure if that’s just what he wants to believe to make himself feel better about having it, or if that’s really the case.

“If you’re confident, you’re less likely to settle for unsafe sex.”

What to do about it

If any of these factors are affecting your decision to have safer sex, you need to do something about it. Anything you can do to increase how you feel about yourself in life will translate into sexual confidence in the bedroom. Counselling might also be an option. “We offer one to one counselling sessions for men who have sex with men which involve sexual health and self-esteem,” says Sona from the GMI Partnership.

l For more information on these issues visit www.gmfa.org.uk/countmein.

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Interview: Denis, 42

t

felt so isolated, I didn’t care about safe sex, even though I always had been safe in the past. I caught HIV during that time because I just didn’t care.”

He’s not alone in behaving recklessly sexually when feeling low. “There was a time two years ago when I lost my job and my room in a flat and ended up on a pal’s floor,” says Leo, 23, from Reading. “I thought life was treating me like shit and I got trashed and had lots of unprotected sex with plenty of guys who were happy to do it. I knew I was being unsafe but I just didn’t feel like I gave a shit about catching HIV. My head was in a bad place. Thankfully I remain negative.”

A lack of self-esteem can also drive guys to have riskier sex. “Guys with low self-esteem do not feel sufficiently empowered to negotiate safer sex,” says Adam from Sigma Research. “They may not feel confident enough to tell a sexual partner they want to use a condom or that they don’t want to have sex in a certain way.”

So, confidence is key, as Sona Barbosa, a counselling psychologist for the GMI Partnership, the HIV prevention service, explains.

“If you’re confident, you’re less likely to settle for unsafe sex so you can be accepted. If you’re confident, you believe you deserve more than that – you know what you want, and you’ll stick to it. If you have low self-esteem you’re more likely to take whatever comes along.”

Hairdresser from London

You are part of GMFA’s new Count Me In campaign. Why did you decide to get involved?

I discovered I had HIV three years ago, and since then have learned so much about how it affects not just me but the community. If I had known before what I know now I would have been a lot more careful. I also think that we are increasingly aware of the problems of HIV and AIDS in third world countries but we are forgetting about what it does to our own community. For me this campaign will hopefully add a little something to redress the balance and bring some attention back to our community.

Why do you think people still catch HIV? Carelessness for the most part, and a feeling that it is manageable, which it is. But only with a lot of thought and care. It’s not just the fact you are under medical attention for the rest of your life, it’s the psychological aspect you have to think about. I think a lot of gay men also have low self-esteem, I know I did for many years, and I think it leads to being riskier than we should.

Do you think gay men generally think HIV is a serious problem?

Not at all, and I think this shift in attitude is what's causing infection rates to

FS121_P16-21_HIV feature_FS 14/11/2010 13:49 Page 21

continually rise, particularly amongst older gay men who lived through the time when it was an immediate death sentence.

What would you say to guys out there who are taking lots of risks?

As I said before, I think it’s because guys think it’s a manageable condition and the use of drugs that make them think themselves invincible. For instance crystal meth makes you think you can take on the world whilst you’re on it, but it also makes it virtually impossible to cum, so riskier behaviour becomes the norm and acceptable.

Then you have times when you go too far and you land in a situation you never wanted and can never change.

www.gmfa.org.uk

|21

CMI ADS_FS 14/11/2010 14:30 Page 22

No one wants to catch HIV, but every year more and more gay men are infected and will live with the negative effects for the rest of their lives. the campaign is calling on all gay men to help stop the spread of HIV in our community by agreeing to this easy five-point action plan:

I will know my HIV status.

I will not assume I know someone else’s HIV status.

I will take personal responsibility for using condoms.

I will value myself and my health.

I will stay informed about HIV and how it is spread.

If every gay man in the uK followed this plan, we could stop HIV damaging any more lives.

It’s time for us all to stand up and be counted.

Commit today to make a difference.

Join us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/gmfa.uk.

Support

the campaign and GMFA by making a donation.

Visit www.gmfa.org.uk/donate.

GMFA, Unit 43 The Eurolink Centre, 49 Effra Road, London SW2 1BZ Charity number: 1076854

FS121_P23_Health_FS 14/11/2010 13:53 Page 23

* HEALTH

Embarrassing illnesses: THIs monTH:

Bad breath WHy doEs my brEaTH smEll?

Below the belt When things get nasty down below...

THIs monTH:

LGV What is it and how do you get it? LGV is short for Lymphogranuloma venereum; it is a form of the common sexually transmitted infection chlamydia.

LGV can affect the cock and arse and can be passed on by oral sex and fucking without condoms.

How do you know you’ve got it? LGV can cause very unpleasant symptoms including pain and

Fast fact PEP could stop you from catching HIV If you have been at risk of HIV, there is a monthlong treatment available that could stop you from catching the virus. It’s called PEP and you need to start treatment within 72 hours of when you had risky sex – the sooner the better. It’s available from A&E departments and GUM clinics.

We’ve all had it, after a particularly gruesome kebab or a garlic-packed plate of pasta, but for some people it’s a constant worry, rather than a temporary embarrassment.

In most cases, persistent bad breath, sometimes known as halitosis, is caused by a problem in your mouth like the build up of bacteria, as a result of bits of food, plaque, or gum disease.

If bad breath is being caused by food decay in the mouth, your dentist will normally treat this straight away. They will also give you advice about how to keep your teeth and gums healthy, and recommend regular dental check-ups to help spot signs of tooth and gum decay early on.

If bad breath is not caused by a problem in the mouth, you may be referred to a clinic specialising in breath odour or your GP, for further investigation. Bad breath can sometimes be a sign of something more serious being wrong in your body, so it’s worth getting it checked out.

HEALTH

l For more info visit www.gmfa.org.uk/pep.

WHaT can I do To PrEVEnT IT? l Eat a healthy, balanced diet. l Drink less alcohol. l Stop smoking. l Use a tongue cleaner to clean right to the back of your tongue. l Use an antiseptic mouthwash as recommended by your dentist or pharmacist.

swelling inside and outside the arse. In some cases this can be accompanied by swollen glands in the crotch, and often by a discharge of mucus from the arse (which can be bloody), and constipation. If you are found to have chlamydia in the arse the clinic should send the sample for special tests to see if it is LGV. If left untreated, LGV can cause swelling of the lymph glands and extreme swelling and sores on the cock and balls. A sexual health clinic can test you for LGV and this should form part of routine sexual health check-ups. It is tested for by taking a urine sample or a swab from your cock and arse.

How do you treat it? LGV can be cured using a course of antibiotics.

l Drink plenty of fluids, and cutting down on coffee. l Clean your mouth after eating milk products, fish and meat. l Chew sugar-free gum after eating, and if your mouth feels dry. l Avoid sugary snacks between meals which increase the number of bacteria in your mouth. l Regularly visiting your dentist and have your teeth professionally cleaned, as required.

l For more information on this and other embarrassing illnesses visit www.nhs.uk.

If you have LGV you should inform your recent sexual partners.

It’s important that you tell any regular partner so that they can get tested and treated too. You then need to avoid sex with them until the treatment has taken effect as it’s common for people to pass it back and forth to each other. If this happens you’ll need treatment.

How do you prevent it? Using condoms will prevent many cases of LGV. If you wanted to reduce the risks further, you would have to use condoms for oral sex. Sucking cock carries a risk even if he doesn’t cum in your mouth.

l For more information on sexual health visit: www.gmfa.org.uk/sex.

www.gmfa.org.uk

|23

FS121_P24_AskGMFA_FS 14/11/2010 13:56 Page 24

advice

Hey gmfa…

i’ve got a problem!

The team at GMFA answer questions from their website that you may be too shy to ask in the flesh...

Can I use his clipper to do my bits? I feel rubbish – do I have HIV? I shaved my balls the other

Three days ago I fucked this

with my friend's hair I didn't know without a Q day Q guy clippers and I cut myself with condom. Yesterday morning I them. Do I have a risk of contracting something like HIV, hepatitis, or something else?

There is a risk of catching HIV or hepatitis if living virus is on hair clippers or a razor. For this to happen, however, it usually requires either liquid blood or body fluids. It does not sound like there would be any liquid blood on the hair clippers unless they were used by your friend immediately before you used them. Bacteria, however, are often present on the surface of clippers and razors whether they are wet or dry. It is not a good idea to share these things with friends. Moreover, even your own personal clipper should be cleaned regularly in accordance with the manufacturer's directions. If you notice any redness or swelling then see a doctor.

Can a top catch HIV? What's the risk if an

guy fucks an Q HIV-negative HIV-positive guy without a condom if the positive guy has a low viral load?

The risk to the top in this situation is fairly low as whenever the viral load is undetectable it reduces the risk. But I can't tell you that there's no risk and I would always recommend being safe versus being sorry.

Remember, too, that there are a LOT of other things that are out there for the spreading. This includes gonorrhoea and syphilis which are rampant these days. There are herpes infections and chlamydia and unpleasant parasitic infections like giardia. We are also seeing more Hepatitis C being spread sexually.

24 |

woke up with a sore throat, fever, and muscle aches. Is it possible to develop symptoms of HIV infection in two to three days?

Take a deep breath and relax.

Most infections that give you fever and aches are not new onset HIV. Moreover, the infection generally takes about two to four weeks to present with symptoms of fever, aches and rash. That said, unprotected sex whether you are the top or bottom is risky and you can catch HIV. If you or your partner has another STI it dramatically increases the risk of transmission. You should get tested now as the symptoms could be related to an HIV infection you caught from a previous sexual experience. You should be tested again after three months as well.

lFor more info about sex and sexual health or to ask a question visit: www.gmfa.org.uk/sex.

How risky is... rimming In case you have never had the pleasure, rimming is licking someone's bumhole. There is no data to suggest that anyone has caught HIV from rimming, although there are other risks.

Hepatitis A is most often caught from rimming and both gonorrhoea and Hepatitis B can also be passed on this way. There are also a number of gut infections you can catch from rimming. Even a recently washed bumhole may carry some extremely infectious, microscopic organisms, but there is an even greater risk if you rim someone who hasn't washed beforehand, or who is suffering from diarrhoea. These risks can be prevented by using a dental dam, although not many guys use them.You can get a vaccination against Hepatitis A and B from your GUM clinic.

ADS_FS 14/11/2010 14:50 Page 25

FS121_P26-27_Sortit_FS 14/11/2010 14:01 Page 26

advice

Sort it out!

FS readers and a trained counsellor give their advice on how to tackle one of life’s problems.

This month’s problem…

My boyfriend wants Q to become a porn star I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for over two years now and the relationship has been great. I love him to bits and I know he loves me too but recently he told me that he wants to do porn. He says it’s always something he wanted to do. I’ve asked him not to do it but he says it’s just going to be a job and the extra money will help us. He also says that there could be some bareback scenes but that it’s OK because most porn stars are tested frequently. We currently don't use condoms when fucking, so I don't know how that will work out now. I don't know how I would feel seeing him fucking someone else. I really don't know what to do can you help?

Phillip – Liverpool

26 |

Dear PhiLLiP Firstly I would like to pass my

on to both A congratulations you and your partner for

reaching your second anniversary may I wish you many more to come.

Secondly, let’s get to the point… If you do not want your partner being a porn star then you must tell him that having him fuck other guys, even to bring extra money in, isn’t what you want/need from him and isn’t a direction you want your relationship to go in. A relationship isn’t for wimps it’s damn hard work.

It pulls at your heart strings and it involves sacrifices, both as a couple and as individuals. Maybe your partner needs to sacrifice his want of being a porn star for the soundness of the relationship or maybe you need to make a sacrifice by allowing other people to have

FS121_P26-27_Sortit_FS 14/11/2010 14:01 Page 27

parts of your boyfriend that you feel should only be for you. I can’t tell you which to go for, and it isn’t going to be easy coming to a conclusion, but only you and your partner can do it.

Sean – via email

Dear PhiLLiP Dude, this is a tough one. I

what you really have to A think think about first is the emotional consequences that will come with this. It's not easy seeing any partner kissing another person, never mind fucking. And I don't even want to think about possibly thousands of others watching and getting off on it too. I honestly think that if a person wants to do porn then that person should be single.

You may be crushing his dreams by stopping him but he obviously doesn't care about how you feel.

Porn is not just ‘a job’, and he seems to be writing it off as one.

As for the bareback sex, if he loves you he wouldn't even think about having unprotected sex with others.

You may want to consider the idea that he may have had unprotected sex outside your relationship already if he seems so calm about it. This is something you really need to think about.

If you do agree to this, I suggest you go back to using condoms and make sure he gets tested frequently. I feel for you man, this has to be really tough.

Josh – via Facebook

Dear PhiLLiP This is a hard one to

on. How will your A comment boyfriend feel if a few years down the road he regrets doing porn? Once it is on DVD and the internet it is too late to go back. Also does he really love you? If he did, he wouldn't even be thinking of doing porn to make extra money. You really need to think, does this relationship have what it takes to survive if he does porn? You both need to look deep within yourselves and see if a relationship is what you both want. If he keeps on about it you need to make him choose between you and porn. I know that it is a hard choice to give him, but it will tell you what he values more, you or the idea of doing porn.

Peter via Facebook

Dear PhiLLiP If your bf wants to do porn

badly enough and you can’t A find a way of being genuinely comfortable with it, then I’m sorry to

say that at least one of you may never be really happy in your relationship. Either way, money isn’t a good reason to do porn because it doesn’t pay that well unless you do an awful lot of it or you have an exclusive contract. However, if you decide you can live with your bf doing porn and he does bareback scenes, then he risks picking up HIV, and to protect yourself you would need to use condoms when the two of you fuck. It is actually less risky to bareback fuck an HIV-positive man on effective treatment than it is to bareback fuck a man who thinks he’s HIV-negative (because of a recent test result) but who has just been infected and has a high viral load.

Oliver – Brighton

A counsellor’s opinion…

Sona Barbosa, Counsellor Team Leader for the GMI Partnership says: Dear PhiLLiP I can understand how this is a

difficult situation to be A very in. I can see from your letter

that you are not happy with the situation and fear the changes to your relationship that could happen if your boyfriend does go ahead with porn. You stated that your relationship has been great for two years. Does your partner feel the same? If he does, why is he willing to jeopardize it? I would strongly advise you to reflect on your feelings regarding this and on the emotional and practical consequences that may come with it.

What is it exactly that you’re feeling? Are you frightened?

Jealous? Sad? It is important that you understand how you feel so you can let your partner know. Also, you need to consider the potential impact on your health. It is true that most studios do ask models to undergo a screen for HIV and other STIs before performing. However, not all studios do and even if models are screened the test for HIV is only as good as the window period (the period of time between HIV infection and the production of antibodies).

For some tests , that window period is 90 days so someone can be infected with HIV and still have a negative test even though they will have a high viral load, meaning that they run a higher chance of infecting others than at most other times.

Although there are other tests which

reduce the window period or test for the presence of viral load, none of them will be able to guarantee that his partners are HIV-negative when they work with him. A few years ago there was an incident where three men were infected with HIV after working in bareback scenes in a UK film even though they had tested negative for HIV. You say that you don’t use condoms when you fuck and as such there is a risk that you could be infected with HIV, or another STI, when he fucks other men. I strongly advise you to talk this over with him as not only could he be putting himself at risk but you as well.

Above all it is very important that you communicate with each other, listen to each other and respect each others views and feelings.

Only this way you’ll be able to reach a decision. If you do agree to this, I suggest you go back to using condoms and make sure he gets tested frequently.

lIf you think that you may want to see a counsellor, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/counselling or go to page 28 for information on where you can get free counselling.

Next month’s problem…

I have been in a completely monogamous relationship for five years - or so I thought. A few weeks ago I got this sore throat.

I went to the GP and he told me I had gonorrhoea in my throat.

I told him there must be some mistake as I have only had sex with my boyfriend and he couldn’t have it because... then the penny dropped. My boyfriend was shagging around behind my back. Well I totally freaked. We haven’t used condoms for years because I didn’t really think we needed to. I haven’t said anything to him yet. I am so angry, hurt and scared of what other STIs he may have brought home – Lord knows what I will say. I don’t want to lose him despite what he has done.

David via email

Q

l If you have some advice to give, or you have a problem that needs sorting, go to www.facebook.com/fsmag and post on the discussion tab or email: fsmag@gmfa.org.uk. www.gmfa.org.uk

|27

FS121_P28_listings LON_FS 14/11/2010 14:02 Page 28

HealtH & advice

i listings

Available daily 10am-11pm. lTHT Direct 0845 12 21 200.

Available Monday to Friday 10am-10pm and weekends 12noon-6pm.

Your guide to the services provided by the Pan London HIV Prevention Programme

Websites

Clinics

Counselling & mentoring

lFor a list of GUM services in London visit www.gmfa.org.uk/ clinics.

lThe GMI Partnership offers free sexual health counselling and mentoring to gay men in London.

For more information visit www.gmfa.org.uk/counselling or ring 020 8305 5002. You can also visit: www.gmipartnership.org.uk.

Condoms lFreedoms provides free condoms and lube on the scene.

They also sell low-cost, high quality condoms and lube via their online shop. Visit: www.freedoms-shop.nhs.uk.

Helplines lThe London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard: 020 7837 7324.

lFor information about sex, sexual health and what’s on offer in London visit www.gmfa.org.uk.

Workshops and courses lTHT and PACE offer free courses and workshops to gay men in London. To find out more about what’s on offer visit www.gmfa.org.uk/gwk. lAlternatively, for PACE workshops phone: 020 7700 1323 or visit: www.pacehealth.org.uk. lFor THT courses and groups phone: 020 7812 1773, or visit: www.tht.org.uk.

Are you sex positive?

Having HIV can lead many gay men to feel negative about sex, relationships and life. Sex Positive is a weekend workshop by PACE that gives HIV-positive gay men the space to talk with other positive gay men about their experiences, share ideas and make changes for the future. Anyone attending is asked to commit to all three days of the workshop before booking. This workshop begins on Friday 10 December.

lFor more information visit www.gmfa.org.uk/gwk or call PACE on 020 7700 1323

Just found out you have HIV?

New ‘24s’ condom store

Are you a gay man that has recently found West London Gay Men’s Project out you have HIV? THT provides a safe, (WLGMP) has launched a new friendly environment where you can meet online store that sells high quality other men and get support in coming to condoms and lube at low prices. terms with living with HIV. The group’s For £7.99 you get 24 condoms plus weekly sessions covers topics such as the a large 250ml bottle of lube. ‘impact of diagnosis’, ‘coping with emotion- A choice of three different varieties of condom is available and you al issues’ and ‘looking to the future’. This can mix and match. Visit: group begins on Tuesday 18 January 2011 www.24scondoms.org.uk. and runs every Tuesday until 22 February 2011.

lFor more information www.gmfa.org.uk/gwk or call THT on 020 7812 1773

Published by GMFA Unit 43 Eurolink Centre, 49 Effra Road, London, SW2 1BZ Tel: 020 7738 6872 Email: gmfa@gmfa.org.uk Website: www.gmfa.org.uk Charity number 1076854 ISSN 1750-7162

The FS team for issue 121 was Cary James (Editor), Ian Howley (Associate Editor), John Adams, Barrie Dwyer, Matthew Hodson, Frankie McPolin, Drew Payne, Shemmy, Gavin Smith, and James Stafford. Design and layout by www.christiantate.co.uk FS is part of the Pan London HIV Prevention Programme. Appearance in FS is not an indication of an individual’s sexual orientation or HIV status. The views of our writers are not necessarily the views of FS, of the organisations mentioned, GMFA, or of the editor.

You can subscribe to FS for just £7 per year. Contact us on 020 7738 6872 or email fsadmin@gmfa.org.uk. You can view the current issue and past issues of FS online at: www.gmfa.org.uk/fs.

Volunteers contribute to the planning, writing, editing and production of FS. To volunteer or donate, contact GMFA using the details to the right.

To express your views on HIV services in London, go to www.ergoclear.com/express.

Answers to question seven on page 29 a)True; b)True: Condoms used with water- or silicone-based lube are the surest way to protect you or your partner against HIV infection; c) False: Only 1 in 5 HIV-positive gay men always tell their casual partners that they have HIV; d) False: It is possible to get HIV through your penis; e)True: HIV can be passed on in bodily fluids such as anal mucous or pre-cum, f)False: Oil-based lubricant is bad for latex and can cause condoms to break; g) False: It is increasingly rare for someone to show visual signs of being HIV-positive and there are many reasons why men may not disclose their HIV status; h)True: PEP is a course of HIV medication which you can take if you have been at risk of HIV infection. www.gmfa.org.uk/pep.

28 |

FS121_P29-30_Survey_FS 14/11/2010 14:21 Page 29

#

FS Survey

To all FS readers...

Please help us improve HIV prevention services across London. Your feedback is vital.

This survey is designed to help us better understand the HIV prevention needs of gay men in London and what you personally have gained from reading this magazine. We hope to learn from your feedback and use it to inform the planning of future HIV prevention resources and services.

Please take a few minutes to complete the questionnaire and return it by FREEPOST (no stamp required) to Ergo, which is an organisation conducting an evaluation of the Pan London HIV Prevention Programme, which has funded this magazine. Many thanks.

1. Please tell us how you got this copy of FS:

n Picked up in a GUM clinic n Picked up in a gay pub, club or bar n Picked up in a sauna n Downloaded from a GMFA website n From a GMI Partnership Health Trainer n From a friend or word of mouth n From another HIV or sexual health service (please specify):

If yes, which of the following STIs have you had? (tick all that apply) n Gonorrhoea n Syphilis n Chlamydia n Other (please specify):

n Other (please specify):

7. Some of the following statements are true and SOME ARE FALSE. For each of the following please tick whether T , false nn F or don’t know nn ? . you think it is true nn

2. How many times have you had the result of an HIV test in the last 12 months?

nn nn nn c) A gay man who is HIV-positive would always tell me

n None n 3 times

n Once n 4 times

n Twice n 5 or more times

3. What do you believe your HIV status is?

n Definitely HIV-negative (I don’t have HIV) n Probably HIV-negative n Not sure/don’t know n Probably HIV-positive n Definitely HIV-positive (I do have HIV) n I don’t want to say 4. And what is this belief based on? Please choose the option that most closely applies.

n I have tested HIV-positive. n I think I am HIV-positive although I have NOT had a positive test result. n I have tested HIV-negative and have NOT fucked or been fucked by ANYONE since my last negative test. n I have tested HIV-negative and have NOT fucked or been fucked EXCEPT WITH A REGULAR PARTNER since my last negative test. n I have tested HIV-negative but HAVE fucked or been fucked since my last negative test. n I have never had an HIV test and I think I am HIV-negative because I have NEVER fucked or been fucked without condoms. n I have never had an HIV test and I think I am HIV-negative because I have ONLY RARELY fucked or been fucked without condoms. n I have never had an HIV test and I think I am HIV-negative because I have ONLY fucked or been fucked without condoms WITH A REGULAR PARTNER. n Other (please specify):

5. In the last 12 months with how many men have you fucked or been fucked by without using a condom?

n0 n 3 or 4

n1 n 5-29

n2 n 30+

6. Have you had a sexually transmitted infection (STI) in the last year?

n YES

n NO

T nn F nn ? a) Most gay men with HIV get it through anal sex. nn nn nn nn b) A properly used condom will normally protect

you against HIV transmission.

they have HIV before having sex without condoms.

nn nn nn d) You can’t get HIV if you are the active/insertive partner in anal sex.

nn nn nn e) HIV can be passed through anal sex even when no one cums.

nn nn nn f) Oil-based lubricant is safe to use with condoms for anal sex.

nn nn nn g) You can always work out someone’s HIV status by how they look or what they say.

nn nn nn h) There’s a course of medicine you can take immediately after exposure to HIV to lessen the chances of HIV infection.

(After completing the questions, check your answers on the bottom of page 28).

8. How do you feel about becoming/being HIV-positive?

For each statement below please say whether you A , disagree nn D or are not sure nn N. agree nn A nn D nn N I don’t think about it. nn nn nn nn I don’t really care about what happens to me. nn nn nn It’s just a matter of luck. nn nn nn It’s too late for me to change anything. nn nn nn It’s not such a big deal any more. nn nn nn I worry about it but it doesn’t stop me taking risks. nn nn nn Other (please specify):

9. How do you feel about using condoms?

For each statement below please say whether you A , disagree nn D or are not sure nn N. agree nn A nn D nn N I choose my partners carefully so I don’t need to use nn

condoms each time.

nn nn nn Condoms don’t work for me. nn nn nn Using condoms takes all the fun out of sex. nn nn nn It’s not my job to look after other people, it’s their look out.

nn nn nn Sometimes I don’t use them – I can’t help myself. nn nn nn After sex (or the next day) I often experience guilt, shame or anxiety about the level of risk I took.

n Other (please specify):

Continues over the page>> www.gmfa.org.uk

|29

FS121_P29-30_Survey_FS 14/11/2010 14:21 Page 30

#

FS Survey 10. How often do you end up having anal sex without a condom after you have said to yourself you were not going to?

n I have not had anal sex without a condom since

15. To what extent would you be interested in using any of the following HIV prevention or sexual health resources or services? Say whether you are not interested N , possibly interested nn P , or very interested nn V. nn

deciding not to. [Go to question 12]

N nn P nn V Reading booklets nn nn nn nn Reading leaflets nn nn nn Website nn nn nn Newsletter nn nn nn Calling a helpline nn nn nn Talking with another gay man who understands

without a condom.

nn nn nn Talking with a trained professional nn nn nn Having counselling nn nn nn Talking with a group of gay men in the same

n Once or twice ever. n Once or twice a year. n Every 2-3 months. n Once a month or more. n I used to have sex without a condom but don’t any more. n I have never said to myself that I will not have anal sex 11. Thinking about when you have fucked without a condom in the last 12 months, which of the following factors played a part in your having anal sex without a condom? Please tick all that apply.

n I had been drinking. n I was using drugs. n I was very upset. n I was going through a bad time in my life. n I got carried away in the heat of the moment. n It felt better without a condom. n He didn’t want to use a condom and I went along with it. n I knew he had HIV. n We’ve both been tested for HIV and were negative. n I thought it would be OK with this person. n He was worth it. n It was with a regular partner I never use condoms with. n A condom wasn’t available. n I was at a sauna, sex party or similar. n In other circumstances (please specify):

12. In an average month, how many times have you had anal sex using a condom?

n None [go to question 14] n Once n Twice n 3-10 times n 11-20 times n 21-30 times n More than 30 times 13. In THE LAST 12 MONTHS how many times have you had a condom break, slip or otherwise fail while you were using it for anal sex?

n Never n 3-5 times

n Once n Twice n More than 5 times

your situation

situation as yourself

nn nn nn Having an HIV or other STI test n Other (please specify): 16. After reading FS, how much do you feel you know M, about the following? Answer: much more nn L , no more nn N. a little more nn M nn L nn N HIV nn nn nn nn Sexually transmitted infections nn nn nn HIV testing nn nn nn PEP nn nn nn The effects of drugs and alcohol nn nn nn How HIV is transmitted

17. As a result of reading this issue of FS magazine are you likely to do any of the following? Answer: definitely D , more likely nn M , no more likely nn N. will nn D nn M nn N Avoid fucking without condoms nn nn nn nn Discuss HIV with sexual partners before sex nn nn nn Access PEP if involved in sex with a high risk

of HIV being passed on

nn nn nn Manage my drug or alcohol use better nn nn nn Visit a GMFA website in order to find out more about safer sex or sexual health services

nn nn nn Go on a course or workshop nn nn nn Go for counsellin

18. Please tell us briefly in your own words what specifically you have learnt from this magazine?.

14. Do you now feel that you need more information about any of the following? Please tick as many as apply.

19. We want to know if HIV prevention services are reaching gay men across the whole of London. Please let us know your borough of residence:

n How HIV is transmitted n Safer sex n What to do after possible exposure to HIV n Advice on how to use condoms effectively n Advice on how to use condoms consistently n How to improve sexual choices n Strategies for preventing HIV transmission n How to cope with situations where you get carried away n How to get more control over the sex that you have n None of the above n Other (please specify):

20. We also want to work out how many gay men are using HIV prevention services and resources across London. Because you are likely to be invited to fill in more than one instance of this survey, we need to make sure that we don’t double count you when estimating levels of need and service use. To help us do this please give us the following information which we hope will create a unique code that you can remember but which can NOT be traced back to you.

n n First two letters of your mother’s first name n n The number of the day of the month you were born on n n First two letters of your own first name

When you have completed the questionnaire please post it to…

Freepost ERGO Consulting. No postcode or stamp is required. Many thanks.

30 |

Free Counselling gmi partnership

Email: counselling@gmipartnership.org.uk Tel: 020 8305 5002 Web: www.gmipartnership.org.uk

GMI Partnership services are free and provided by Londoners from diverse backgrounds, who are trained and supervised to work with men across the City.

For some gay men unprotected anal sex is horny, intimate and feels natural.

They also worry about the risk of HIV and other STIs. We can offer you a space to talk about safer sex and learn how to reduce risks, regardless of your HIV status or ability to pay.

The GMI Partnership is funded as part of the Pan-London HIV Prevention Programme. © The GMI Partnership 2008

CMI ADS_FS 17/11/2010 22:13 Page 32

Joel

Denis

Leon

James

Nelson

Chris

TogeTher we can sTop The spread of hIV It’s time for us all to stand up and be counted.

Join us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/gmfa.uk to meet the guys who appear in the campaign and to find out how you can be part of it.

supporT

the campaign and GMFA by making a donation.

Visit www.gmfa.org.uk/donate.

GMFA, Unit 43 The Eurolink Centre, 49 Effra Road, London SW2 1BZ Charity number: 1076854