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Your English Newspaper


Issue 705

19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Off-plan victory offers hope by Jack Troughton

One of the Rosette winners from 2012

APAH Fun Dog Show

ON SATURDAY 27 April, A.P.A.H. will once again, hold the first of its two annual Fun Dog Shows and Barbeque at El Rancho. Registration for the show begins at 1.00pm and the judging is due to start at 2.30pm. A.P.A.H. hopes that lots of people will keep the 27th April free, so they can come along, bring their dogs; if they have any, or come on their own and enjoy a lovely afternoon, whilst helping to support the work that A.P.A.H. carries with abandoned dogs and cats.

PROPERTY VICTIMS are celebrating a “landmark” court victory over shamed CAM Bank over the failure to protect cash deposits for their dream homes in the sun. An eight year battle involving 1.5 million Euros ended when the bank – now Sabadell CAM – lost its appeal at Albacete over a failure to issue 47 buyers with legally required Bank Guarantees. And the court’s decision offers hope to others who lost money in failed off –plan projects to what was described as “a feeding frenzy of sharks”. The action was brought by the Finca Parcs Action Group against the bank, the sole financial body backing the project, and developer Cleyton GES over the Las Higuericas Finca Parcs development near Agramon in Albacete, just over the border with Murcia. Found guilty of “malpractice” by a lower court in Hellin last June, the bank launched its appeal but it was dismissed by judges last week. It has the right to appeal to Supreme Court. However, the losers will be refunded their principal losses and re-

ceived both interest and costs when the time allowed for any further appeal expires and the case becomes “firm” – or after the highest court makes a ruling. A second case involving another 13 of the action group’s members will soon be before the Hellin court involving 500,000€ - CAM has chosen not to defend the action – and there is a third case involving a similar amount of money in the pipeline. The Albacete Appeal Court upheld the Hellin judge who ruled the bank “failed in its legal obligations to control the use of off-plan deposits paid in advance” and showed an “absolute disregard” to the obligations imposed on financial institutions by the law “and this behaviour can only be described as malpractice”. And the appeal court ruled that: “CAM knew perfectly well that the payments by the plaintiffs into ordinary current accounts were payments by buyers in an off-plan property development in which it had assumed the role of guarantor under the law, Ley 57/1986”. And it noted that CAM did issue guarantees to other purchasers of property at Finca Parcs. Continued on page 6


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

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19 - 25 APRIL 2013

CLR try to clear the air


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WHAT OUR CUSTOMERS SAY! Enjoyed Cordoba last week, superb trip” AH Nov 2012 ALCALA DEL JUCAR CAVE VILLAGE



Pedro Mancebo still fighting for the rights of the Orihuela Costa

by Keith Nicol AT CLR’S monthly Q&A session hosted by Pedro Mancebo, 25 questions were presented and answered on subjects ranging from builders, businesses and the Padrón to public works, workers and malicious slurs about Pedro himself. A lot of the meeting was spent discussing the additional requirements that have been imposed by the Playa Flamenca town hall, which seems to actively discourage people from signing on the Padrón making them ineligible to vote in the 2015 elections. Mancebo noted that the Green party councillor for the coast, who only received 147 votes in 2011, has no desire to see more people on the Padrón. She seems to be encouraging the imposition of additional paperwork not required by law. The legal requirements for signing on the Padrón are available on www.clr-orihuelacosta. com as is the official “Diputación de Alicante” requirements in English. Pedro Mancebo showed the documents that prove that he lodged 67,000€ into a clients account as a loan to help the client complete a property deal and one month later withdrawing the same amount when the clients mortgage was granted. Pedro also stated that he showed this same evidence to Bob Houliston in his home one month prior to the 2011 election. He said that he cannot understand how Mr. Houliston can deliberately lie on this and other matters like the Asturias meeting. Pedro saw no reason why the La Regia footbridge, the wall at La Zenia beach and many other projects could not to be complet-

ed soon, as everything needed was in place before the new councillor for the coast took over. He did say that that she couldn’t spend any money on the coast without the approval of the socialist leader who would prefer to spend council money on her own pet projects in Orihuela and surrounding villages to win votes. In relation to the increase of Green and socialist comrades gaining employment in town hall supplier companies, Pedro responded that the Greens and the socialists are now doing what the PP did in the past. CLR are committed to helping businesses in Orihuela Costa and urge residents to support local businesses by buying local. New businesses often get bad advice in relation to the type of opening licence they apply for. Many problems that businesses experience with music stem from incorrect opening licence applications. CLR in conjunction with business associations in the area will help businesses with advice on how to apply for or amend opening licences. Some businesses wait seven years for their licences. Pedro said that although he was no longer in government he will continue to bring motions to the monthly plenary meeting about the concerns of residents like pedestrian bridges, dangerous school buildings, dangerous cranes etc and pointed out that Councillor Houliston had not made even one proposal favouring Orihuela Costa to the plenary meeting since he was elected two years ago. Pedro has initiated two petitions, for improving dangerous schools and for the removal of the AP7 toll at La Zenia. Both petitions can be downloaded from

































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19 - 25 april 2013

Protest gathers pace “ We are concerned that many of us facing

this situation will soon choose to leave Spain, even accepting significant losses on our properties to do this

by Jack Troughton PROTESTS AGAINST the controversial Spanish legislation demanding the declaration of foreign assets roll on with a petition being handed to the EU. Under the law assets worth more than 50,000€ held abroad by Spanish nationals and ‘tax residents’ must be declared before 30th April. Failure to comply with the new rules could result in massive fines. RTN was told this week that amongst the 600 strong membership of one Costa Blanca association more than half were “terrified” of the implications of the law and in error being hit with a prohibitive penalty. It is also understood that many affected residents are even contemplating joining an exodus from their adopted country. Now ‘Concerned Europeans Citizens resident in Spain’ has launched a manifesto conveying its members “concerns” and is inviting worried expats affected by the directive to sign the petition lodged with the European Parliament, while complaints have already been sent to the European Commission. FLEXIBLE Names will be kept confidential but it is hoped the Spanish government will be persuaded to be more understanding and flexible in both reporting holdings and the compliance deadlines. The directive was enacted by Royal Decree last November and the group maintains it “is causing considerable uncertainty and a degree of anxiety” – not least because of fears the declaration may lead to a future tax burden. The expats, many pensioners retiring to Spain from other EU member states, maintain their right of fair treatment under both European and Spanish law, and say they remain re-

spectful of Spanish law, customs and culture. But they are angry that some Spaniards appeared to be “immune” from prosecution despite being openly exposed for squirreling away substantial assets “of dubious origins” in fiscal paradises abroad. “In contrast, our worldwide, tax paid assets mainly derive from our working lives prior to coming to Spain, and many of us have preferred to maintain those assets away from banks here, given their recent performance record.” The manifesto also underlines the declaration process might not be legal under EU law or the Spanish constitution. “We are now becoming increasingly concerned that we are being targeted under the terms of recent antifraud and asset declaration laws being forced to reveal in great detail sensitive personal information and data to others including authorities with no guarantees that this information will not be used in a tax or asset grab to follow from the declaration or to conduct detailed reassessments of past tax returns. “We are further concerned about the disproportionate penalties for even minor reporting errors, when these derive from information provided under different reporting systems and are passed via third parties in a form few of us understand. “We are concerned that many of us facing this situation will soon choose to leave Spain, even accepting significant losses on our properties to do this. This will have a dire impact on an economy already in deep crisis.” The group is urging expats to consider sign the petition to the European Parliament regarding the Asset Declaration, officially logged in Brussels under ref. 393/13. The on-line petition found at http://www. . And for more information, visit

Trovadoras Plaza opens in La Murada

By Keith Nicol MONSERRATE GUILLEN, Mayor of Orihuela, Monserrate Guillen, along with the Councillor for Districts, Emilio Zaplana, the Councillor for Infrastructure, Antonia Moreno, and Deputy Mayor in La Murada, José María Almarcha, this week inaugurated the ‘Plaza de Trovadores y Trovadoras de La Murada’. The Plaza was refurbished for an investment of 20,000€ and the major work consisted of the removal of architectural barriers, building new sidewalks and landscaping. The works also have been building caliche tracks to play bocce. The mayor stressed that the works have been carried out by the municipal Ildo, which employs people from difficult labour market. The mayor of Orihuela congratulated the troubadours and the village of La Murada achieving an improvement for their parish. “We wanted to dedicate this space to the minstrels and troubadours who recite verses, singing about The Patron Saints Murada,” said the mayor, who also considered that this new open space will be “a place of living for all.” The ceremony was also attended by many of the troubadours and muradeños that have been performing for the last 33 years.

19 - 25 april 2013

Benijofar vet charged with murder IT’S NOT often that the small town of Benijofar, population, 4,200, makes world wide news. But this week, the town entered infamy because local vet Marcelo Gurruchaga has been charged with the murder of his wife. by Keith Nicol Two days later, after being questioned by his children where their mother was, he went to the Guardia Civil with a box of ashes in his hands. Inside the box were the ashes of his wife, Argentina 46, who had died earlier in the week. The woman died on Holy Thursday, allegedly from a drug overdose after going into depression because of her ongoing fight with obesity. Gurruchaga told police that he unsuccessfully tried to revive his wife for three hours. He then dismembered her body and took the remains to an animal incinerator company, telling them the bags contained dog remains for cremation. The husband took a week to notify the Civil Guard that his wife had died of a drug overdose, although other press reports say that possibly some sort of home liposuction process was being undertaken at the time. Those who knew the victim do not lend credence to the story that Argentina died during a

Marcelo Gurruchaga pictured with his wife

botched liposuction performed by her husband at the clinic. The pet business, Pet Care was going well, according to his neighbours. Gurruchaga and his wife opened the modern clinic, in 2007, after emigrating from Argentina. They had built a strong customer base of mainly British and German clients from the nearby developments and Benimar Ciudad Quesada. He was responsible for operations and Argentina attended at the store and the pet hair salon. The alleged killer presented himself at the Civil Guard barracks in Almoradí (Alicante) to give his version of the death of his wife a week later. He had chosen one of the most effec-

Plaza design falls flat on its face

ALICANTE TRADERS are demanding the removal of decorative concrete protrusions lining the Plaza de Luceros following an alarming number of falls, accidents and injuries to pedestrians. The concrete slabs, intended to discourage illegal parking, were installed when the plaza was redesigned in 2011, resulting in dozens of complaints from people who have either stubbed their toes on the blocks or suffered serious falls. 55-year-old Isabel Escrich fell flat on her face, smashing her spectacles and sustaining serious injuries. Shopkeeper Eva Maria Carmona said: “It is very dangerous, especially for older people, who get off the bus and immediately encounter unexpected concrete blocks!” The council argues that the blocks are technically in an area not designed for pedestrians and it is therefore not responsible for the injuries sustained.

tive methods at its disposal to destroy traces of a corpse. “This takes time and determination. Typically, these acts are committed by people who have something to hide” explains Professor of Criminology at the University of Valencia (UV) Vicente Garrido. “If you really committed suicide, why get rid of the body?” The Professor of Criminal Law at the UV José Luis González Cussac says: “Without the body it is very difficult to get a conviction for murder.” He added that the accused could face a penalty of illegal exhumation exiguous. A bizarre case that will put the town of Benijofar on the Google map for all the wrong reasons.

Postiguet closed for bottle parties IN A bid to improve conditions for tourists metal gates have been installed at the Postiguet Beach in Alicante to prevent access to the breakwater by bottle party-goers late at night. Following complaints from guests a number of hotels in the area requested that measures should be taken to reduce noise and also eliminate some of the debris, such as broken glass, left behind by revellers. The gates have been installed at a cost of 30,000€ and will be closed between midnight and 7am. It is understood that exceptions will be made during fiestas.

19 - 25 april 2013

Valle de Sol continue their fight THE GLOVES are off when it comes to residents of Valle del Sol fighting for their rights against local developers and town councils. by Keith Nicol The matter has now gone to the European Parliament, as many municipalities in Spain continue to give themselves a bad name around the EU. The Town Hall say that the properties were built illegally by the developer, before permission to build was granted. The developer issued the paperwork to the Town Hall in the names of the buyers. This was accepted by the Town Hall, along with payment. Now, because the properties are in the name of the owners, the Town Hall say that the fines they are issuing have to go to owners. They cannot fine the developers or promoters, even though the developer illegally sold the properties as being legal! Lee Monks, the President of the Valle del Sol Residents Association, said that the “EU has now agreed that our ‘Right to Petition’ documentation has been declared admissible in accordance with the rules of Procedure of the European Parliament in Brussels. I am being allowed to submit the Petition and at the present time and the Petitions Committee are requesting clarification from the regional authorities in Murcia regarding our situation here in the Valle del Sol, over the past nine years!” The major thrust of the need to go to Brussels is that “there is the threat of some of the houses being put to auction if fines/embargoes are not paid!” Last year RTN was invited to meet the Murcia Councillor for Districts, Manuel Duran, to discuss the situation that the homeowners find themselves in. back in August 2012, he said that the Town Hall was prepared to negotiate the fines that have been imposed, but that homeowners must come forward to do the negotiations themselves. Many affected properties have also had embargoes placed on them and although the auction of these properties would be the “very last resort”, according to the Councillor, this could not be ruled out. He said: “There are properties in the Valle del Sol that have fines and embargoes placed on them and even now some of the homeowners are unaware, so we ask them to get in touch with the Town Hall in Murcia to find out exactly what their position is.” Lee Monks, who has an embargo on her property, told RTN: “The

Many affected properties have also had embargoes placed on them

majority of the affected residents are pensioners on a low income. How can we afford to pay these fines? Where will we go if they auction our homes?” The Town Hall admits that it seems that the residents were conned by the promoters, further blotting the copybook of corrupt developers on the coast. Duran added “they (the Town Hall) had to follow the law in this matter and the mechanisms of the law state that fines and embargoes must be imposed if a property has been built illegally!” and thus “the Town Hall had no choice but to impose the fines on them!” Lee added “Concejalia Duran ‘goes missing’ for three months at a time and does not respond to emails, letters or communication of any kind! Thus we have had no option that to go to Brussels.”

Continued from front page Action Group co-ordinator Keith Rule said it was quickly realised that in order to get any money back it was necessary to pursue the bank itself as the developer – which did not appeal the original verdict after also being found guilty of charges relating to homes that were never built. He said the group first contacted CAM in 2008 and submitted dossiers of evidence yet the bank continued to claim it was oblivious to the payments made by victims. Keith said the court victory brought hope to people who together had lost millions of pounds and put “life savings at risk” buying property across Spain in off-plan schemes. He said: “A failure to issue guarantees is a very big problem across Spain and a lot of people were resigned to the fact they would not get their money back. This gives them hope. “In the future and the whole point of the last six years was that we wanted to give people security. We have highlighted a law made in 1968 and this is an important landmark case. “We have resurrected this law. The reason it was enacted in the first place and the reason we have brought it back to prominence is the corruption in property development. “We wanted not only to help ourselves but other unfortunate people, for when a developer has run away and gone, they believe they had no protection under Spanish law. Well, the Spanish banks are now in the picture.” Keith said the liability of banks supporting off-plan developments had been substantiated but two courts. He added: “CAM exhibited a total lack of professional due diligence, flagrantly violated its own contract with the developer, and systematically and repeatedly violated the obligations imposed on financial entities by Ley 57/1968.”

19 - 25 APRIL 2013


Sign up for success by Jack Troughton SIGNING ON the local town hall ‘Padron’ is “absolutely vital” for expats hoping to make a success of their lives in Spain, it was claimed this week. British Vice-Consul Lloyd Milen described joining the town hall list as “a free insurance policy” because it allowed people to access public services in their local community. Mr Milen was in Calpe on Tuesday – along with Dutch Consul Eric Durieux and Belgian Consul Dominique Schoofs - for the launch of the Marina Alta town’s campaign to get residents to sign the town census. The registration campaign is being conducted in English, Dutch, Belgian and German with posters of Uncle Sam under the banner headline: “I Want You”. Publicity material reminds residents that increasing numbers of people on the Padron increased the number of public services offered to the community and the economic help received from central government. MOVE The posters invite expats to “make a move and register on the town census”

and the campaign was launched by Calpe Mayor Cesar Sanchez and members of his government team. The mayor estimated Calpe had a population of some 50,000 people resident throughout the year – and increasing the numbers on the register from 30,000 to 40,000 would see money available from Madrid to rise from 5.6 million Euros to 7.2 million Euros. “This campaign will help people who do not speak Spanish because it is very easy to register here in Calpe,” he said. “The difference between the numbers of people on the Padron and those who could sign the register is very important because it involves a lot of money for the town. “That money helps us provide basic public services and provide better services for residents. “There are a lot of people who have lived here for years who are not on the Padron. It is important to register and carries no fiscal consequences for the individual.” APPEAL

Mr Milen told RTN the British Consulate in Alicante constantly appealed for expats to register and backed any initiative to increase

Golf on the line

Lloyd Milen (third from left) stands next to Calpe Mayor Cesar Sanchez

numbers on the town hall list. “It is absolutely vital, I think. Vital to making a success of your life here in Spain,” he said. “It allows you to become part of the community and play your part in the local community.” He added opened a path to services that otherwise Brits might not be able to access – every week the Consulate saw people who were not on the Padron and something had

THE HOTEL association Hosbec has written to the Ministry of Development and also to Renfe calling for golfers travelling on the new AVE line from Madrid to Alicante to be allowed to transport their golf clubs and related equipment. The line to Malaga already has these allowances in place but not Valencia, which has been in service since 2011. It was argued that the cars in service on the Valencia line were ‘not suitable’ to carry golf equipment but the train service to Malaga was! Hosbec president Antonio Mayor pointed out that the Costa Blanca has a total of 35 golf courses with ‘pitch & putt’ facilities scattered throughout, making it vital that the train service caters effectively for the region’s sporting tourists, adding that improved transport services could open the door to the discerning American tourism market.

gone wrong and they were unable to be helped locally. “It is something like an insurance policy, an insurance policy for free. It gives access to every service the town hall delivers,” said the Vice-Consul. “We have been working really hard to encourage people to sign up – and it is really difficult to think of a reason why you would not sign the register.”

Is your baby’s buggy safe? THE AIJU Institute has become the first accredited laboratory in Spain and one of the few in Europe for testing baby buggies. The Ibi-based toy testing institute is equipped with the necessary facilities to test buggies for strength, durability and safety. The director of the AIJU institute Ana Sanchez said: “It is of great importance that products for babies and children meet safety standards to prevent childhood accidents. And accreditation is essential to ensure that the safety tests are carried out uniformly in testing laboratories.” The institute also tests baby’s chairs and high chairs.


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Pantoja sentenced

Penal laws for agricultural theft to be amended

PLANS ARE afoot to reform the penal laws concerning agricultural theft. The penalties for stealing crops from farms and orchards which at present are between one and half years to four years imprisonment are likely to be changed to a minimum of four years: terms of parole are also to be made stricter. Farmers believe that the present punishments in place for theft of crops and livestock are little more than those handed out for ‘petty theft’, despite the difficulties that agricultural crime cause businesses that are struggling to survive in the economic crisis.

POPULAR ROMANY singer Isabel Pantoja has been sentenced to two years’ imprisonment and a fine of 1,147,148€ for money laundering.

Pain in the neck for two crew members of Aeromexico

TWO CREW members suffered minor neck injuries on Wednesday when Aeromexico Flight 002 bound for Mexico City experienced a ‘tail strike’ (the tail of the aircraft struck the surface of the runway). The incident occurred at Madrid’s Barajas Airport. The aircraft took off at 2.58pm with 250 passengers and crew. The pilot completed the take-off and circled for some time to burn fuel before returning to the airport. Some while later at 6.30pm an Air Europe Airbus also had to return after take-off when it struck debris from the Aeromexico flight that had not been cleared from the runway.

Pantoja outside the court

by Jan Gamm HOWEVER, IN Spain sentences up to two years may be suspended so Pantoja will not be required to serve a jail term. Other convictions in the case included Julián Muñoz, Pantoja’s ex-partner, with seven years’ imprisonment and a fine of 3,648,000€; Mayte Zaldivar, the wife of the former mayor of Marbella, was given three years and three months in prison and a fine of 2,400,000€; Jesus Zaldivar excuñado Munoz with three years and three

months in prison and a fine of 1,780,000€ and José Miguel Villarroya, entrepreneur – one year in prison. Pantoja, who has sold millions of records since her first album was recorded in 1971, is booked for a Mother’s Day performance on 5th May at the Benidorm Palace.



19 - 25 APRIL 2013

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Endless epidemic of corruption THE SEEMINGLY endless epidemic of corruption among our Spanish politicians reminds me of a letter written by the ingenious Benjamin Franklin while he was in Paris during the American Revolutionary War (1776-83). A friend wrote him a letter expressing her concern that he might unintentionally, without realising it, be surrounded by spies. He replied: “I have always observed and practiced a rule that avoids such inconveniences. It is simply the following tenet: to avoid any word or action of mine that might possibly make me blush if it became public knowledge. When the actions of a person are just and honorable, the more such actions are known, the more understood and valued his reputation will be.” How I wish Mr Franklin was here now! Richard M McBride, Benidorm

A sell-out Living in Cloud Cuckoo Land event A CHARITY do held on Saturday 30th March at camping Benidorm’s club house in aid of EMAUS Children’s Home in Relleu was a sell-out! It was organised by Mrs Jean Clarke, a member of HELP Benidorm. She would like to express her thanks to all members and non-members for their kind donations toward the buffet and would also like to thank the Home From Home Bar for their donation of 45€; the Peppermill Bar, Beach Terrace, Costa Less and Steve and Gary for their donations. Also thanks to the two artists that did turn up on the night, Lizzy G and Paul Bryan. The amount raised was 691€.

RE: THE letter by Mr Bjorkman about Jack Troughton’s piece, I am afraid that Mr Bjorkman is a case of Johnny Foreigner pontificating on an English subject he knows very little about. Whilst standing in a queue at an ATM would you turn around and give the person behind you your bank account details? To me this this is the equivalent of giving my bank account details to a bunch of corrupt Spanish politicians which is what they are demanding we do. Remember expats do not have a vote in this country and if you believe this is for information only, you must be living in Cloud Cuckoo Land. Martyn, La Marina

Looking for an optical snorkel Good will prevail MY HUSBAND is almost 77 and has always enjoyed good health. Last summer he had gall bladder trouble when in England for the first time in eight years. Twice he stayed in hospital there and was released. When we returned home he seemed better and we awaited an appointment to see the surgeon. Before they could happen he was taken ill, they operated and all seemed well. Two weeks later he was rushed back into hospital with pneumonia. He was very ill and stayed there for three and a half weeks. He had got the super bug Pseudomonas Arugino-

sa. When released he was so weak he had to have six months with a special nebuliser twice a day. They had bombarded his system with so many drugs that his resistance was poor. Now he is so much better his dream is to start snorkelling again. BUT - he needs an optical one and his old one leaks. We have been unable to locate a supplier here so perhaps one of your readers might be able to help? Sorry to be so long-winded but it would help his breathing, be a source of joy and also promote his return to health. Sally Clarke

CAM BANK loses appeal - great news for all the people whose money will be reimbursed from Finca Parks - great work done by the action group. It just proves if people get together to fight the cause against corrupt banks such as CAM good will prevail. I am in the same predicament with CAM bank and Polaris world in Murcia. I have been told by my lawyer after a three year wait I may also be given my money back, so hopefully will more people who innocently placed their trust in the bank guarantee scheme in Spain, only to be taken advantage of. Let’s hope this opens the flood gates and puts these greedy goodfor-nothing profiteers in their place once and for all. I would urge any one who has lost their money to regroup and go again – I am sure the future will be brighter. John Dickenson

Only a matter of time I READ with interest the letter in last week’s RTN from Brad Murray concerning the building of a pedestrian bridge at Alameda del Mar. In April 2011 there was an article in the Costa Blanca News headlined ‘Bridge Call For Dangerous Road’ in which Valencian Ombudsman Señor Chobi warned the town hall that according to Valencian law the council is responsible for upholding the interests of the residents. He went on to say that residents could make a claim if this bridge was not built. After the local elections of May 2011, I

spoke to Bob Houliston the councillor for the coast who said that he could do nothing about it. When Bob Houliston resigned in February 2012, I spoke to the new councillor for the coast Pedro Mancebo, who showed great enthusiasm and interest in getting the bridge built and as a temporary measure he would apply to the traffic department to install traffic lights. Unfortunately, shortly after this he lost his job. Martina Scheurer then became councillor for the coast and I wrote to her about what the ombudsman had said and the urgency of doing this work, but she said the builder

Gomendio was not legally bound to build the bridge until he had finished all his building works. My point is that this is a very serious health and safety issue. The road is now even busier because of the new shopping centre at La Zenia Boulevard and during the summer months the situation will be even worse. It is only a matter of time before there is a very serious accident at this point. I urge the councillor for the coast to take action either with the installation of temporary traffic lights or better still with the building of a new bridge. Graham Robinson

A two year old girl survives a nine floor fall in Valencia

A NIGERIAN girl aged two has survived an accidental fall from the ninth floor in the district of San Luis in Valencia.

by Jan Gamm Her fall was cushioned by tree branches, lessening the impact on the pavement below. A local resident saw various items being thrown from the balcony above, including a buggy frame. He then witnessed the child’s fall - at first believing she was a doll. He administered basic emergency aid to the still-conscious little

girl until paramedics arrived at the scene. The child’s mother, alleged to be a prostitute, had reportedly left the toddler with a room-mate who had subsequently left the apartment to collect her own daughters from school: she was arrested and later provisionally charged with neglect and abandonment before being released on bail. The little girl is in a critical condition in La Fe Hospital.

Business opportunities within the Islamic community ALICANTE ENTREPRENEURS are aiming to boost business centred on the interests of the Islamic community, estimated to number around 52,000. At a cultural tourism seminar held on Tuesday organised by Casa Mediterranean in collaboration with the local Development Agency, key dates in the Muslim calendar were analysed along with customs, holidays and traditions with the goal of developing new business opportunities for entrepreneurs, traders and businessmen. Among the subjects under discussion was the possibility of shops stocking ‘halal’ foods and also focusing on high energy foods to be sold after midnight during late opening over Ramadan.

19 - 25 april 2013


Use the mind to lose the weight with Fast Track Hypnosis

MOST PEOPLE discount the fact that weight gain is all in the mind. You put too much in your mouth, don’t move around enough and hey presto you’ve put on a stone without even realising it! By Jonathan Gilchrist This seems more physical than psychological. But have you taken into account why you’re putting too much into your mouth or why you don’t move around enough? The root to weight gain is buried deep in the subconscious. You might eat because you’re depressed or due to a trait bred into you from childhood. Perhaps over the years, the lines between true hunger and appetite have blurred. When you think you’re hungry - really hungry - it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. When you’re bored you might reach for food thinking you’re hungry - but it’s just your appetite telling you to eat for entertainment. A diet and exercise regime does note touch the mental root of why you overeat. Fast Track Hypnosis motivates you to stick

to sensible eating, keeping on track to attain all of your weight loss goals and then help you maintain the loss. Hypnosis gets to the mental root of the problem, targeting the reason for your overeating and stopping it in its tracks. If you eat for comfort, Fast Track Hypnosis finds the root of this need and targets it. Hypnosis naturally calms and soothes the mind, encouraging self-confidence and self-esteem. You might deny that you eat for any of these reasons but in fact there is always a root cause - Fast Track Hypnosis targets this, urging your brain to reassess. During the hypnosis session we also discuss hints and tips about weight loss, sticking to your goals and achieving your targets. The diet you follow is a personal preference but I can advise you.

Have the longer winter months added to your weight? Are clothes you bought last year, that fit perfectly, now too small? With summer on its way, there’s never been a better time to lose weight. In ONE 3’-minute session we can change the way you view food forever. Fast Track Hypnosis encourages healthy eating: there’s no fear of overeating - your brain will start listening to your stomach again and when it’s full, then it’s full! Fast Track Hypnosis has helped many thousands of people to lose weight over the years, firstly through my father’s clinics in Northern Ireland and now in my own. Without Fast Track Hypnosis, it’s easy to overeat, simply because you have no control over your appetite. This is no longer the case after a professional hypnotherapy session.

There are no complicated rules, no weird or disgusting concoctions to swallow at certain times of the day… just a determination to be healthy that will you take you from overweight to slim and with no suffering at all! You have nothing to lose… except weight! Now also available in English and Spanish with Jonathan Gilchrist, Master Hypnotherapist! Alan and Jonathan hold their Fast Track Hypnosis sessions in Cabo Roig, Guardamar, Benidorm and now their new clinic in Fortuna. For an appointment, brochure, or free-of-charge initial consultation, contact Alan Gilchrist on 659 229 408: Jonathan Gilchrist for Spanish clients on 691 784 954.

19 - 25 april 2013

Digging deep


Happy birthday

BIG-HEARTED MEMBERS of Calpe and District 41 Club continue to do their bit for the local community and have donated 400€ to the town’s Red Cross.

The cheque is given to the Red Cross

by Jack Troughton An age rule means members of the Round Table ‘retire’ in their forties – hence the name ’41 Club’ and the next level of the organisation. And last week Chairman Keith Beaman, supported by club members, presented a

cheque to Red Cross Administrator Chely Crespo (pictured) along with Caridad Mateo, Nieves Carraetero, Puri Tur, and Sergio Duro, watched by Councillor Carole Saunders. Former Round Tablers are always welcome to join the club which holds lunchtime meetings on the second Thursday of the month in the Calpe area

along with wives and partners. Social events are usually planned for the fourth Thursday of the month, although there are no meetings during July and August. To find out more about the Calpe and District 41 Club contact Membership Secretary Ian Ritchie on 96 538 3102 or email

For your birthday, we just want to say; we hope you can see how special you are to us. Happy birthday Aida Grella! Love form Geoff, Santos, Danny Louise, Mia and Siena xxx

19 - 25 april 2013


New Library Torrevieja’s improvements ‘Open Saturday’ awareness campaign

by Keith Nicol AGUSTINA ESTEVE, Torrevieja’s Councillor for Trade and Hospitality Industry announced the restarting of ‘Torrevieja Open Saturdays’. The campaign is a joint venture between the Town Hall and local traders with the collaboration of the Association of Small and Medium Retailers of Torrevieja (APYMECO). Agustina Esteve pointed out that “there are a number of establishments in the city that open its doors for busi-

ness on Saturday afternoons, but in many cases this fact is not known by customers of the city!” The Councillor of Commerce and Catering explained that “the reason for this campaign is to attract potential clients and tourists to visit the town centre of Torrevieja, on certain Saturday afternoons, to go shopping and at the same enjoy some of the entertainment activities.” The Department of Commerce and Catering invites all commercial establishments to open their doors on Saturday

and to promote your business name, open times and location, to give the widest possible publicity through the web, on Also, although the schedule of activities is almost closed, those wishing to participate in some of the planned entertainments and activities may still be able to do so to add to the mix of planned activities to promote their premises, such as, to offer tasting of their products, workshops, parades, demonstrations and exhibitions.

By Keith Nicol ANTONIA MORENO, Orihuela’s Councillor for Infrastructure, said that improvements to the area around the Municipal Library ‘María Moliner’ began this week to facilitate better access to the building and “it is intended to be a place meeting of citizens “. Upon its completion, the 120-meter sidewalk leading from the Urban Area to the corner of the square, will have a width of 2.60 meters. “In total, we are placing 338 square meters of granite paving and abolished all parking on the street as well as the ones in front of the library so that the sidewalk is continuous and to convert the area into a pedestrian plaza.” This will involve the removal of 25 parking spaces but leave two disabled bays but “we are working on a solution, to open access to the Library from the health centre, with just puts drivers in three minutes away” to help with the replacement of parking. Among the renovation work being carried out is the replacement of the 12 fixtures for lower power consumption and the installation of two new spotlights, in front of the library. New landscaping will include a row of jacaranda trees to form a frontage of trees outside the library and cement pergola beams extending to the sidewalk plus the planting of 100 rose bushes and other trees. The total budget of the works, including all gardening supplies, labour and electricity, is 35,000€.

Orihuela’s Municipal Library ‘María Moliner’ undergoing street improvements

19 Apr - 25 apr 2013


Missing the Costa Blanca Watts In Britain By

Paul Watts

I’VE BEEN having a touch of the missing-Benidormblues just lately.

I don’t know if it’s a result of all the bad news that seems to be bearing down from all sides, the long winter with its dearth of sunshine or just the plain fact that I haven’t been able to afford the air fares to jump on a Jumbo to Alicante (I know, I know; they don’t send Jumbos to Alicante but I liked the alliteration). I haven’t had a wander along the Albir seafront and up to the lighthouse for eighteen months and its beginning to seem like forever. Back in my RTN days it wasn’t unknown to be able to purchase a return ticket to Gatwick for a ‘pony’ (that’s twenty-five quid in Arfur Daley speak). I remember one flight back in January 2005 costing just 10€ to LGW, with the return leg to Alicante a mere fiver! That really was a bargain - I mean to say, a return train ticket from London to Brighton back then was £22. Nope, before 2008 and the dark days of the creditcrunch air travel backwards and forwards to the Costa Blanca was pretty fare (sorry, fair). If only those days were still here, ho hum… But hang on a sec because a chum at Easy Jet tells me that, “the new season fares really are jolly competitive.” Malcolm, who works at Gatwick sent me the schedule for May and tells me, with the alacrity that’s innate in all who sell, that the price you see on screen now includes, “the flight admin fee.” Oh great Malcy, that makes me feel much better. But, being a natural cynic, I worry about all that, “charg-


ing the punter for this and charging ’em for that nonsense?” You know the kind of thing, whacking on a fee for using a credit card and then finding out that surprise, surprise, only a credit card will do. He grins, “You’re so cynical Wattsie; look, what we say is ‘what you see is what you pay’.” Well, what I saw certainly wasn’t the pre-crunch fares but if you’re flexible (and boy you gotta be pretty flexible) you can get a bargain. I had a gander online this Wednesday and if you folks in Spain fancied coming here next month, there’s a flight on Saturday 4th May at 23:50 (ten to midnight) for just under £32. That’s not too bad, is it? It gets in at (yawn) twenty past one though…

Coming back however, it gets a bit more expensive. The cheapest I could find (and this is bearing in mind that Auntie Doris can put you up for a fortnight) is just under £53. That’s on May 14 and the flight times are good (17:40 – 21:10) so you do get an extra day in Blighty. I should point out in fairness and impartiality that other carriers are available. Mind you, as I plugged the Easy Jet ad featuring Black Lace relentlessly on the radio back in October 2008 I do think they owe me one. Come on guys, let’s a have a 2005 priced flight, pleeeze. Altogether now: “Agadir, dir, dir, push pineapples, shake the tree…” Watts in Britain, so you don’t have to be…


19 - 25 april 2013

Tribal adventures by Jack Troughton

TEENAGERS FIGHT for survival in the fictional world of The Tribe after a mysterious apocalyptic virus wipes out the adult population. Their adventures were enshrined in the 260 episodes of a successful children’s television series on Channel 5 and became an international phenomenon on the small screen. Costa Blanca author Harry Duffin – who worked on all five series of the hit show – has now written ‘The Tribe: Birth of the Mall Rats’, based on the early stages of the evolving story. The concept of The Tribe came from “a one page idea” from Raymond Thompson and Harry headed a team of writers at television production company Cloud 9, filming the show at studios in New Zealand using local kids for the cast. “Channel 5 wanted us to create a series for children’s television, essential for youngsters in their mid teens,” Harry said. “I developed the characters and their backgrounds and we presented that and they liked it. “I was asked to get a team of writers together, I was already head of writing at Cloud 9 and we took it from there.” WORLD He said The Tribe was still being screened in countries around the world and there were ‘Tribeathons’ where fans got together dressed in Tribe gear, as well as a successful website. “It hasn’t been shown in the UK since 2004 – strangely enough it has only just started to be screened in Australia and New Zealand – and there are no plans to reschedule it in the UK, said Harry, who lives in Javea. “But it does have a big fan base and I said to Ray why not try to recreate it in a different form – after the success of Twilight and Harry Potter kids have started to read again.” He said the series and the book presented the characters with constant moral dilemmas because suddenly there was no authority. “Essentially it is a battle between good and evil.” He said the book began with how a group of kids came

together in a deserted shopping mall and decided to stick together – initially to survive and secondly to create some sort of society. “I decided I wanted to explore the morality of the different tribes you meet in the book. The Tribe is always set slightly in the future and will never become out of date. SOCIETY “It was a good way of looking at all aspects of modern society and getting kids to question what things are about – it has been used in schools as a starting point for discussions.” The story was toned down for children’s television. Knives and guns were never seen and all the violence was implied. Harry said: “There is no blood and guts but what can be both threatening and frightening.” He added: “I think if The Tribe had been shown on ITV or BBC it would have been massive and more money would have been thrown at it. There was talk of a film and all the episodes are available on DVD.” Copies of ‘The Tribe: Birth of the Mall Rats’ have been presented to the libraries of Xabia International College and Laude Lady Elizabeth Schools and Harry’s former school in Hull – he has also donated a 50€ voucher to be awarded to the highest achieving English student, explaining “a prize encouraged me and it would be nice to encourage others.” The book is published by Cumulus Publishing and is available in both traditional and electronic forms. More information about The Tribe can be found at

Harry presents a copy of the book to XIC students and Fiona Phillips, Head of the Secondary School

Award winning voices doing it for Afecancer By Keith Nicol AN EVENT of Close Harmony is taking place on 28 April at 8.00pm in the Escuela de Musica y Cultura in Los Montesinos. The evening features the very best in local harmony singers, led by the Torrevieja Barbershop Harmonisers, ‘Hullabaloo’, a local Quartet from the Torrevieja, area who won the ‘Best Senior Quartet’ award last week, ‘Fourmidables’ another local Quartet, also from Torrevieja, who were the overall Grand Champion Gold medallists in the “Male Quartet” competition, another splendid result following closely on from their successes in the European Championshipsplus the beautiful voices of the ‘The Velvetones’. Tickets are only 4.00€ and an be bought on the door, or you can reserve your seat by Telephone: 966 713 342. The evening has been oganised to raise funds for the AFECANCER support group and all proceeds will go to them.

19 - 25 april 2013

Ohihuela’s Children’s Book Fair


La Mata beach promenade improvements By Keith Nicol TORREVIEJA’S DELEGATE for Beaches, Antonio Boix, announced that the Ministry of Agriculture, Food and Environment, through the Provincial Coastal Service in Alicante, started work on improving the La Mata Boardwalk on Wednesday, April 17. The majority of the work revolves around the removal of almost all of wooden planks that make up the Pedestrian path of La Mata, stretching over three sections and reaching to the Natural Municipal Water Mill. Antonio Boix also indicated that the intention is to start work on the sectors with more pronounced deterioration, dismantling the wooden paving and recovering the original pavement that existed previously.

Orihuela’s Children’s book fair expecting up to 4,000 visitors

by Keith Nicol THE MAYOR of Orihuela, Monserrate Guillen, and the Councillor for Education, Rosa Martinez, inaugurated the VI Hall Children’s Book “City of Orihuela” in the Municipal Auditorium of La Lonja, this week. After visiting the exhibition on the ground floor of the auditorium, Martinez and Guillen opened the book fair. The event was also attended by the director of CEFIRE of Orihuela, Marina Blanco and the Councillor for Culture, Ana Mas.

Martinez explained that 4,000 students are expected to visit Orihuela’s ‘Salón del Libro’ to participate in some of the 25 activities. Rosa Martinez noted that this activity has been consolidated over the years to become a cultural and educational reference and noted the presence of writers and illustrators of national importance attended the event. Guillen said that the commitment of local government to this type of activity is in complete contrast to those initiatives that cut investment in education. The Mayor congratulated all

those involved in the organization for the good work they have done and encouraged all Oriolanos to participate in this activity. After the words of welcome, those present enjoyed the inaugural lecture, “Between the humour and nothingness” that was given by Daniel Nesquens, who won the Anaya Award for Children’s Literature 2010. The writer also participated in a meeting with primary school children in the municipality. The other activities are available on the program posted on the site:

Work started on improvements on Wednesday

19 - 25 APRIL 2013


Everything you could possibly need and want! THEDIRECTORYFORYOU is an amazingly useful ‘finding facility’ to help you find anything, anytime, anywhere. Pool cleaning; airport parking; plumbers; electricians and restaurants – TheDirectoryForYou can find everything you could possibly need and want. Simply go online using any PC, Mac, iPhone, Android, Tablet or iPad and search for Store the easy-to-remember number in your mobile phone right now - 902 906 192 - for a fast, friendly and efficient telephone directory enquiry service that is available 24/7! TheDirectoryForYou already receives more than 500 daily enquiries from prospective customers seeking information. This has prompted the launch of their printed directory: handy, compact in size and designed to be easy-to-use, easyto-read and easy to store, containing all that vital information on businesses and services with phone numbers, website addresses, emails… even money saving vouchers! There’s also a section entirely dedicated to restaurants and bars. Out in June, TheDirectoryForYou is tipped to be a ‘must have’ item for residents along the entire Costa Blanca and Costa Calida region, available at numerous retail outlets, tourist offices, and hotels and also to be distributed to associated members of ‘The Neighbourhood Watch in Spain’, totalling a distribution of 40,000 per annum. To celebrate the launch, advertisers are offered space within the directory for just 19.50€, with a further special 50% off normal retail prices for all advertising space booked within the month of April. Advertisers may also purchase a Multimedia Advertising Package that puts their business on-line, on the phone and within the printed directory for only 99€, with the facility to access and edit their listing 24/7 using features such as photos, maps, QR Codes and videos: changes, special offers or events may then be advised as

and when they occur. There is also an option for restaurants and bars to add an on-line menu - perfect to announce daily specials and set menus. To advertise your business where customers are looking – TheDirectoryForYou - contact the Sales Team today on 96 599 9393 to take advantage of the special 50% off all

advertising space booked within the month of April. The last date to book your advertising within the printed directory (space permitting) is 22nd May so secure your space now to avoid disappointment. Don’t get left behind -make sure your business can be found in the directory everyone is talking about and join TheDirectoryForYou today!

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19 - 25 APRIL 2013


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The new Energy Efficiency Certificate and the law IT’S OFFICIAL… it’s now the law. If you are selling or renting a home you must obtain an Energy Efficiency Certificate, known as a Certificado de Eficiencia Energética (CEE) from 1st June 2013. LAST SATURDAY, the official gazette of the Government of Spain, Boletín Oficial del Estado (BOE), published Royal Decree 235/2013, 5th April 2013, approving the basic procedure for the certification of energy efficiency of buildings. The publication officially declares the Royal Decree is law. If you are selling a home you should obtain a certificate before it is advertised in order to provide prospective buyers with energy performance information about the property. Rentals should obtain a certificate if the property is used over four months of the year. The certificate must be issued by a CEE certified assessor who will visit the property to carry out a survey. They should be an architect, engineer, or a qualified technician who is authorised to undertake building projects and thermal installations for buildings. Once the survey is complete the assessor will take a few days to produce the certificate. The cost of the certificate is

not set by government but by the assessor, and usually depends on the total floor space of the property. AVEN (Agencia Valenciana de la Energía) is the registry of the Comunidad Valenciana which shall be responsible for CEE inspection and control. However, AVEN is not yet prepared to receive any certificates and thus, for the moment, a CEE does not need any other processing. In the future, the CEE will need endorsement from the Official Association of Architects (Colegio Oficial de Arquitectos), but for the moment, endorsement is not compulsory. It is probable that in the future when the registry is in place, that the certificate needs to be endorsed, but this can be done in the future without any problems. Failure to comply is an offense under consumer protection law and is punishable according to the General Law on Protection of Consumers and Users and statutory rules. Policing the law will fall

to the Autonomous Regions. How quickly and stringently the local authorities implement the new law, only time will tell. The Royal Decree makes no reference to the time frame to comply with the new law after 1st June 2013. Bear in mind that policing of the new law will undoubtedly take a while, which will allow a honeymoon period, but failure to comply should only be considered at owners’ own risk. Sparks in Spain @ http://eecinspain.

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19 - 25 APRIL 2013


Ensure you grow some vitamins by

Clodagh & Dick Handscombe Holistic gardeners and authors gardening in Spain for 25 years

DAILY WE read advertisements and articles attempting to persuade us to buy vitamin and essential mineral supplement pills. But it could well be better to eat the vitamins and minerals as nature intended them by growing and eating them in the form of a diverse mix of fruit and vegetables that are known to contain the main vitamins we apparently need for continuous good health or for recovery from illness. Interestingly, the labels on some bottles of vitamin pills include the note: ‘Not intended as a substitute for a balanced diet’. Further heath authorities worldwide have been recommending for some years that we eat at least five to nine portions of fruit and vegetables a day for their vitamin and mineral contents. Others emphasise that mass-produced vegetables in land short of beneficial trace elements can be short of a natural balance; that fruit and vegetables are at their best if harvested daily and eaten fresh and grown ecologically/organically without the use of chemical fertilizers insecticides fungicide, while the Slow Food movement recommends that we should try and eat local produce to sustain the local economy. The future seems driven toward genetically modified vegetables that are resistant to weed killers and the training of agronomists trained to carve out financially secure careers with the agrochemical giants such as Monsanto. A couple of years ago Dick was asked to give a Slow Food Organisation talk to agronomist students at the Valencia Polytechnic University based on our book ‘Growing Healthy Vegetables in Spain’. When

he got to the part of his talk about the possibilities of students growing healthy vegetables in containers on apartment terraces he was asked to not talk about that as agronomists and not agriculturalists were being trained! Agronomists would control what was grown according to agrochemical standards but not actually grow things. Dick found the attitude narrow minded, especially as the students had just watched a film about the need to eat better and were generally short of money. Hopefully our readers wish to eat healthier and see the sense of achieving the recommendations for better eating by ‘growing their own’ in seed sprouters in the kitchen; containers on apartment terraces; in raised beds in small gardens; in a garden plot or if convenient, an allotment/huerto. The great advantages are that you can focus on growing those fruits and vegetables with the best beneficial vitamin and mineral contents and harvest each day just what is required for each meal or day. Our books Growing Healthy Fruit in Spain and Growing Healthy Vegetables in Spain describe almost two hundred fruits and vegetables to grow yourself with instructions for doing so on apartment terraces as well as in cottage style gardens, dedicated vegetable plots and orchards. Whatever you select to grow ensure you include anti-oxidant vitamin/mineral rich foods. We ensure that we grow plenty of dark green acelga and spinach leaves, parsley, red lettuces, sprouting broccoli, tomatoes, nasturtium flowers and leaves, garlic, onions, tomatoes, radishes, beetroots and carrots. As for fruit, we can harvest something healthy every day of the year to give seasonal diversity ranging from vitamin Cpacked lemons all the year round; mandarins and oranges from November to May; red raspberries from May to November; figs and grapes during August and September and strawberries throughout the summer. Last year, after waiting six years, we finally had a good harvest of vitamin-packed kiwinos, which are

‘Clodagh and Dick Handscombe’s gardening books make good presents. They can be obtained from high street and internet bookshops including Amazon UK and Spain. Thanks to readers the Kindle E-book Making waterless gardens a practical reality world wide is starting to sell well.’ © Clodagh and Dick Handscombe

like mini kiwis but growing in small bunches a little like grapes. And also the first crop of Goji berries after growing the plants from a few berries taken from a bag of dried berries purchased in a local market. Most importantly, you don’t need large areas of good soil to make major contributions to your daily diet.

‘20 vegetables growing on a three square metre terrace’


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One more reason to choose Liberty Seguros LIBERTY SEGUROS, the No 1 insurer for Expats living in Spain, gives back 50€ straight into your bank account when you take out car or home insurance before 31st May: another reason to choose Liberty Seguros, because in times like these, when it comes to important financial matters such as insurance, one wants to be insured with the market leader. LIBERTY SEGUROS, one of the most reputable insurance companies in the world, with more than 150,000 expat clients in Spain alone, will take care of your every need and pay out promptly should you ever have to make a claim! Their hand-picked brokers speak English, Spanish, German, Dutch and ‘Scandinavian languages’, so they can give you the ins and outs on Liberty’s extensive policies in your own language! Liberty Seguros’ car insurance offers total coverage to driver and passengers in case of an accident and provides roadside assistance from kilometre zero.

With no-claims discounts of up to 55%, they offer their clients the very best value for money. Liberty Seguros’ Home Insurance gives you total piece of mind and includes 24 hour Home Assistance as well as ‘allrisk’ accidental damage to both contents and building. They will also provide discounts for security measures and give you the option to pay in instalments. Go to for an instant quote and the name of your nearest Liberty Seguros broker and find out how you can enjoy 50€ Cash Back into your bank account: Premiums must be paid by direct debit and exceed 450€ for Car insurance or 275€ for Home Insurance. Not for renewals or replacements. Terms and conditions apply.

money Don’t miss the 30th April reporting deadline 30

19 - 25 april 2013

IF YOU are resident in Spain and own assets worth over 50,000€ in a single category, you cannot ignore this deadline for submitting your first declaration of offshore assets. By Bill Blevins: Financial Correspondent, Blevins Franks If you were resident in Spain in 2012, you need to report the assets you own outside Spain as at 31st December 2012. You have to report all assets in a particular category if the value of your total assets in that category amounts to more than 50,000€. If you sold an asset, be it a property, shares etc., during 2012, or closed a bank account, you need to report the value at the date of disposal. THE CONSEQUENCES OF NOT REPORTING Do not bury your head in the sand. If you are found to not have declared an asset, the fines and penalties could amount to more than the asset itself. Under Spain’s normal tax rules, the taxman can only go back four years from the date a tax return should have been submitted to review how much tax

should have been paid. Under the new asset reporting law, if you do not make a report, the asset will be deemed to have been acquired with undeclared income, deemed to arise in the last tax year that is not statute barred, unless you can prove the income arose when you were not resident or tax has been paid. So instead of just being able to go back four years to review unpaid tax on an asset, there is now no limit. When a Spanish resident is found to have an undeclared asset under this new obligation, they may have to pay all of the following: • Income tax on the undeclared income at the income tax scale rates, with a top rate of 52%, rather than as savings income with a top rate of 27%. • Late payment interest. • Penalties, which can be as high as 150% of the total tax due on the asset.

• A fine of 5,000€ per each unreported asset, with a minimum fine of 10,000€. Looking ahead, this is the time to review if your assets are in the right place to be as tax efficient as they can be. You could be paying more tax than you need to. Ask an expert advisory firm such as Blevins Franks to review your current arrangements and discuss the most tax efficient vehicles available in Spain. This is a specialised area, and you do need professional advice to make sure you avoid any of the consequences of getting it wrong. Summarised tax information is based upon our understanding of current laws and practices which may change. Individuals should take personalised advice. To keep in touch with the latest developments in the offshore world, check out the latest news at


Inheritance – every case is different THERE IS little that is straightforward in the world of tax and inheritance. People often come to us with what seems like a simple question, only to be faced with an answer that begins, ‘…well, it all by depends…’ For example, we are often asked: ‘How much inheritance tax do non-residents have to pay?’ It’s not that we avoid giving an answer - it’s just that each individual case is different. That’s where case Customer Care studies come in handy. at Ábaco Inheritance is a recurring worry for both residents and non-residents holding property in Spain. It is a different system and inheritance tax – only the concern of the rich in the UK – can be steep. So, to answer the question, here is an example of what inheritance tax in Spain meant for one couple.

Suzanne O’Connell

THE CASE STUDY Mr and Mrs A had a property in Montesinos. They were both non-residents and took advantage of the extra time provided by retirement to enjoy the Spanish sun. Unfortunately Mr A died following a sudden heart attack. He did not leave a will, either in Spain or the UK. His wife found herself grieving for her husband and also worrying about the absence of a will. Not so much a problem she felt in the UK but what about Spain? Having contacted our offices, we were able to reassure Mrs A that although this made it more complicated and more costly we would be able to help her. The first step was to collect some basic information about Mr A including when and where he died, information about the property itself and the inheritors. This meant that we could give Mrs A an estimate for the inheritance tax and legal expenses; something that we knew was worrying her.

INHERITANCE TAX The total value of the property was 118,000€. This meant that the value of property passed from Mr A to Mrs A was 59,000€ as they were both on the Title Deed. There was also 10,000€ in a Spanish bank account. Again, half of this amount was added. We then needed to add 3% on to this total – an amount that is automatically included to account for personal effects and furniture. At last – the grand total against which inheritance tax was to be calculated was 65,920€. However, because the couple were married this meant that Mrs A had an allowance of 15,957 €, reducing the total amount to be taxed to 49,963€. The final figure that Mrs A would have to pay in tax was 4,944€. GETTING THINGS SORTED When she was ready, Mrs A came over to Spain with her two daughters who had helped her to locate the documents she needed. This included the original death certificate, UK grant of probate, a certificate of law confirming inheritance law in the UK (all legalised by the foreign office) passports, NIEs, property deed, the last IBI bill, water and electricity bills. Fortunately for the couple, although they had not had the foresight to make a will, they had made allowances for inheritance tax and other contingencies. Before returning to the UK, Mrs A signed a Power of Attorney which allowed Ábaco to proceed with Spanish probate on her behalf. This meant she would no longer have to come to Spain, at least until she felt ready to enjoy her holiday home again. If you have inherited property in Spain and would like help with the inheritance process, call us on 96 571 2656.

Ábaco provide fiscal representation to non-resident and resident Spanish property owners. You can contact us for free advice and information by calling our helpline 96 670 3748 or visiting our website

19 - 25 APRIL 2013



money Creative accounting hits the EU again

19 - 25 APRIL 2013


Christina Brady

Regional Manager of Blacktower Costa Blanca

IS THERE not one country in the EU that really knows the size of their debt problem? FIRST IRELAND, Portugal, Greece, Spain and now Cyprus have all under estimated or maybe chosen not to acknowledge the true extent of their problems. How long before Italy, France and even the UK join this ever increasing list. Last week we learnt that Cyprus is to be forced to shoulder an extra €5.5bn (£4.7bn) of the cost of its bail-out. That takes the total sum this tiny island nation must find in tax rises, spending cuts and asset sales to €13bn, almost one-and-a-half times’ its annual GDP. That horrendous asset-grab will be more draconian, with large savers at Laiki bank, the second biggest in Cyprus, likely to get nothing at all. To clarify Bank deposits are not investments, if you invest in an equity or bond, you are exposing yourself to risk but also the prospect of a potential return, but

you accept you have some risk and that you may gain money but you may also lose money. Fair enough. But if you put money in a bank, in a modern society the whole of that deposit should be guaranteed. To willfully do otherwise is to incite social unrest, while undermining the very fabric of capitalism and wealth creation itself. The EU forced Cyprus to suck-up lorry-loads of hopeless Greek bonds, which defaulted and helped lead to Cyprus’ downfall. But in the end, if pushed too far, the Cypriot people will take matters into their own hands and decide, whatever the chaos, whatever the scale of the lawsuits linked to ‘hard default’ — that life outside the euro is preferable to endless subjugation. Portugal is embroiled in another political crisis after its constitutional court blocked austerity measures linked to continued EU-IMF funding.

In the end, voters sick of austerity imposed from abroad will elect leaders who openly advocate Eurozone exit: that is their democratic right. There are signs of this happening not only in Cyprus and Portugal, but also Italy — the region’s third-largest economy. Eight weeks after an election, Italy has yet to form a government. At last people are being to realise that life outside the Euro offers more hope than life with the Euro. In the meantime protect your money. Make sure that you are well below the 100,000€ (£85,000) bank guarantee. If you have above this in any one banking group, act now to restructure your investments to minimise your risk. If you feel you would like help with this you can contact me on 658 892 330 or email for a free consultation.

The above information was correct at the time of preparation and does not constitute investment advice and you should seek advice from a professional adviser before embarking on any financial planning activity. Blacktower Financial Management Ltd is licenced by the UK by the Financial Services Authority and is registered with both the DGS and CNMV. Blacktower Financial Management (Int) Ltd is licenced in Gibraltar by the Financial Services Commission (FSC) Licence No: 00805B and registered with the DGS in Spain.

As a company we have over 25 years of experience in the Financial Services Industry and have been doing pension transfers since inception in April 2006. We are now in a position to offer Expats and UK residents our services due to a new product launch. We understand that times are tough in the UK and overseas, and that people need cash NOW to sort out their personal lives. We are told every time we speak to clients “I would rather have my money now rather than wait until I retire” we completely sympathize and understand your feelings. We now have several options to help our clients release money NOW from the pension fund. It is a very simple process and takes only a short time to release your cash. No matter how small or large your pension fund is even the smallest amount of money now could help in these difficult times.

To find out if you qualify to release money now call 951 206 138 or email or visit and complete the free assessment form.


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Spanish Real Estate Law


Carlos Baos

of White & Baos Abogados

English & Spanish Solicitors

THE NEW Building’s Energy Performance Certificate needed when buying selling, renting or leasing a property in Spain IN COMPLIANCE with the European directives 2002/91/EC and 2010/31/ EU, Spain has granted the Royal Decree 235/2013 concerning the basic procedure for certification of energy efficiency or performance of buildings, which has been published on the 13th April 2013, and is already in force. This Royal Decree establishes the obligation to deliver to purchasers or users and tenants of buildings, the energy performance certificate, which must include information for owners and tenants to compare and know the energy efficiency of the properties they intend to buy or rent. The purpose of this regulation is to encourage the properties’ energy efficiency. This new law approves the basic procedure to achieve a certification for energy performance of buildings and the

methodology for calculating it. It applies to both to new buildings, and those that already exist that are sold or leased to a new tenant or buyers. Not all buildings must get the certification. Industrial, agricultural buildings, such as workshops, and factories not destined for residential uses, are exempt. Also, buildings or parts of them with a total useful area lower than 50 square meters; buildings purchased for major renovations or demolition, or those whose use is less than four months a year, etc., do not require the certificate. The building developer or owner is responsible for ordering the certification of the energy performance of the building, and to keep the relevant documentation. It is possible to get one certificate for a whole building which includes different flats, and for Villas (chalets) it is possible to base the certificate on the assessment of another

similar building, as far as the technician can ensure such correspondence. The certificate must identify the building or its part certified, including its cadastral reference, indicating the procedure for rating the energy performance, description of the building’s energy characteristics: heating systems, lighting, etc. The energy performance must be displayed by means of the energy label or certificate. The energy efficiency label or certificate of energy performance, must be included in any offer for sale or lease. If you are buying a property in Spain you should be aware that the original energy performance certificate must be handed over to you, and if you are renting you should be provided with a copy of it. If you are buying, selling, leasing or renting a property in Spain, our firm can advise regarding this or any other legal issue.

Carlos Baos (Lawyer) © White & Baos Abogados 2012 - All rights reserved. C/Diana 19, 2º-D, 03700 Dénia (located 1 minute away from the La Via underground car park). Tel: 966 426 185. Send your questions to or This article is available in English and Spanish at The information provided in this article is not intended to be legal advice, but merely conveys general information related to legal issues. Visit our blog at and Facebook (White-Baos-Abogados-Solicitors)


Duke attracts more criticism

IÑAKI URDANGARIN Duke of Palma continues to attract unwanted public attention even as he endeavours to put some distance between himself and the Spanish royal family. It has been confirmed by the Zarzuela Palace that Urdangarin, despite having been removed from official activities on behalf of the Crown as a result of being on five charges of corruption, will continue to enjoy the privileges of a diplomatic passport. Spanish law grants members of the royal family the right to hold a diplomatic passport. However, a standard of conduct is required to retain diplomatic status which Urdangarin is widely acknowledged to have breached in a number of areas. The Duke is to re-locate to Qatar in late April to work with his close friend Valero Rivera as a handball coach.


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Is your property a silk purse or a sow’s ear?

LOVE AT first sight, the commonly used adage, is no exception to the rule when it comes to buyers who plan to buy a residential property in Spain. By Guest Writer Michael Rushe PROFESSIONAL ESTATE agents need to capture buyers’ attention with the very first photograph, making the buyer fall in love with the property at first sight. With professional photography estate agents not only have an ideal marketing tool but also the perfect medium to make a positive first impression on potential buyers. Nowadays, hunting for a residential property starts with the internet, which makes it even more important for estate agents to use professional photographs to present the properties in their portfolio to maximum effect. As more and more buyers turn to the internet to look for their ideal property on the Costa Blanca, it is essential that your property gains the buyer’s attention through professional photography. An estate agent’s property listing should stand out from the competition, grabbing the buyer’s attention quickly and displaying the property to maximum effect. Good quality point-and-shoot cameras now allow even the amateur to take reasonable quality photos but this is not enough to make your property stand out from the crowd. A potential buyer wants to get a good feel of the property by just looking at the pictures of the property. They do not want to waste their time looking at properties that do not match

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their needs. How often have you looked in an estate agent’s window or scrolled through their property listings and been put off by either the lack of photographs or the poor quality of the photographs they have available? The professional photographer is well-equipped to produce top quality photographs, where the tricks of their trade, such as good composition, good lighting and the use of ultra-wide lenses, can be combined with the latest photo-editing software to produce brilliant photographs that make your property stand out from the crowd. And where you have a professional photographer who specialises in property photography, they can also use their knowledge of what both buyers and sellers want to maximise viewings of the property and achieve the sale of the property. Research conducted by reputable organisations confirms the importance of professional photography in marketing your property effectively and making a positive impact on potential buyers. By having well composed and professionally edited photographs, the property owner can help the buyer visualise themselves in the property, persuading them to view it and maximising the opportunities of achieving a sale. In a modern competitive property market, the skills and abilities of the professional property photographer are essential in achieving a sale. Powered by

How to save money when exchanging currency ‘I READ with interest your advert on selling my house in Spain and getting more Sterling through using you. My question is, how do you save me money?’

CLIENTS NEED to be aware of two important factors that can cost you dearly when converting your euros into pounds and moving those funds out of Spain.

‘Sponsored’ feature by Kevin Wright, Account Manager, Moneycorp

EXCHANGE RATE RISK ON REPATRIATION Th e agreed sale price of a property is often based on the amount of pounds sterling that the seller hopes to receive, according to the exchange rate at that time. However, a Notary / completion date can take place some weeks SPANISH BANK CHARGES All too often British people living in Spain or even months after the contract of sale has been signed. Th is assume that Spanish banks operate in a means that sellers run the risk of the exchange rate moving similar way to the UK. Th is is not the case. against them and thus reducing the amount of pounds sterling Once your sale has been completed you will receive that they receive. a cheque from the Notary. Many Spanish banks will For example, with an exchange rate of 1.19, a sale value of charge a fee based on the value of this cheque to 150,000€ will give you £126,050. Should this exchange rate rise accept and clear the funds. Th ey will then look to to 1.22, a rise of just 3 cents, this would give a return of £122,950 charge a further percentage fee to send your funds – this equates to £3,100 less. out of Spain. Moneycorp offers a range of service that allows clients to lock To put this into perspective, on an amount of into favourable exchange rates either at the time of the sign150,000€, you could incur costs of up to 1,500€ ing of the contract or at any point up until completion, taking just to clear your cheque and transfer funds out away the risk of the exchange rate moving against them in of Spain. the future. As most clients close their accounts when they leave For more information on how Moneycorp can help you to Spain, there is little room for negotiation. Money- save hundreds of euros on your Spanish bank fees as well as corp clients in most instances have these fees com- helping you get more pounds for your euros, contact us on pletely eliminated, giving you not just the savings but 902 887 243 or email Moneycorp directly at also peace of mind.

Spotlight: Property

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Do you need to lose weight? WHY NOT give Cambridge 800 a try. With their Five Steps to success it is easy to lose weight, and more importantly, keep it off … for good! THE WEIGHT Management Programmes are easy to fit into your lifestyle and have been created with good nutrition in mind, to be used as a Total Diet Replacement or in combination with conventional food, according to your individual needs. Cambridge 800 products are nutritionally balanced and form the basis of the highly effective Cambridge Weight Plan Programmes for both men and women. There is a choice of surprisingly tasty meal replacements, such as porridge, soups, shakes, mousse, and delicious bars! And… The newest edition to the Cambridge 800 range is the Ready to Drink range, with two flavours - the ever popular Chocolate Flavour Milkshake (it tastes divine) and the unique and delicious Blueberry and Pomegranate Flavour Yoghurt Drink (so good, can it really be a weight loss product?) Both are in easy-to-open screw top cartons, which can be resealed; a wonderfully convenient product when you are on the go, or as a product of choice. The sweetener in this new range is

Fructose. With a generous 330ml size carton the Ready to Drink range will leave you satisfied and savouring the flavour long after you have finished your meal. This has been an exciting addition to the popular flavours of Cambridge - eagerly awaited and now one of the most popular products in the Cambridge 800 range. You don’t have to go it alone with Cambridge, because throughout your weight loss journey and beyond you will have your own personal Consultant assigned to you for continued advice, support and motivation. And no extra cost! It’s probably the easiest weight loss programme and very competitively priced too. Consultants usually begin their training at the end of their own, often life-changing journeys, so they know exactly what you are going through! So don’t put it off any longer. There is a Consultant near you … to find your local Cambridge 800 Consultant who will be able to advise you how to select a Cambridge 800 Programme to best suit your lifestyle.

Call 952 586 324 or 952 475 954 or email to find the name of your nearest Consultant or visit 800 España-Spain

Forthcoming Events in April at Haweli Indian Restaurant Denia from sunday 14th april onwards

Special Sunday Buffet…

Delicious! just 12.90€ Including all you can eat from the Extensive Menu of succulent Lamb, Beef, Chicken, Vegetarian dishes, Delicious rices & Fresh special breads.

wednesday 24th april 3pm

Introduction to Buddhist Meditation

Tibet in 1957. He began his monastic studies when he was just a child training first in the Sacred Tibetan Buddhist Tradition of Nygmapa and later in the Sakyapa tradition. Venerable Lama Thupten is the Lama in residence of the Sakya Drogön Ling Buddhist Community located in Denia, Alicante, He is both teacher, and a spiritual guide when he is asked to.

away with hits from the 60’s all the way to the present day, includiong Adele, Ollie Murs, Nancy Sinatra, and Peggy Lee. So why not join us here at Indian Haweli Restaurant Denia

saturday 27th from 8-11pm tuesday 23rd april

St Georges Day Celebration

Diners welcomed with a special Buy 2 GET 1 EXTRA FREE drinks menu all day

Live Music by Encore

(Non-diners welcome, just drink purchase) Guidance offered by the Venerable Lama Thupten Nyimais, a completely ordained Tibetan monk. Venerable Lama was born in Kham,

Encore! Are the hottest duo on the Costa Blanca. Come along and listen to their smooth renditions of jazz, easy listening and swing classics from Ella Fitzgerald, Eva Cassidy, Katie Melua. Then dance the night


Opening Times 12:30pm-4.30pm & 6:30pm till late | Las Marinas Km2, 69 | DENIA

TEL: 965 783 637 | 677 004 651

* Conditions apply



19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Life tech Multiple browsers HI AUNTY, can you tell me if it is wise or not to operate two or more browsers? I flip between Google Chrome and Outlook Express. Also can you tell me how many essential programmes need to be running on start up? I have 84 which no doubt can cause the system to slow? Thank you, regards John.

AUNTY SAYS: You can use and open as many different browsers as you like. I sometime have IE, Chrome, Firefox and Opera all open at the same time. The only limitation is how many ‘windows’ within each browser you have open and the speed and power of your PC. The more windows and browsers you have open can slow down the speed of the PC as they use more and more resources. Flipping between Chrome (a browser) and Outlook Express (an email viewer) should not be a problem. As for how many ‘essential start up’ programs you should have: this all depends on what operating system you are using, and what program you have installed that requires to be opened when the system starts. Many antivirus programs have a number of processes that load up, and are essential. If you think too many are loading up, then look to see which programs are running when your PC starts up. For example, many people install programs with ‘start on windows boot’ enabled. So, for example, is it really necessary for every time you boot the PC up to have Skype loading up? If not, disable the ‘start on windows boot’ option on Skype.

If you look at the icons next to the date and time, you can see everything that is loading up on windows boot. So if you are concerned too much is loading, up , go through all of them, and see which you use all the time or the most and keep them, and remove / uninstall / disable ‘start on windows boot’ those that you do not use at all or seldom.

with Aunty Virus


Dongel problems DEAR AUNTY, I live out in the country here in Spain. I have a five-year-old laptop which works when it feels like it. I have to connect to the internet with a Vodaphone dongle which is on a contract: most of the time it works okay. I have just got a new laptop from the UK, a Dell 3521 with Windows 8. I managed to put in user name and email address using the dongle but it keeps losing connection. I took it to a computer shop and a program was installed from the net which is supposed to make the dongle work with Windows 8. I can connect but as soon as you try to do anything connection is lost. Can you help? If you can would you explain in words I can understand I am not too good with tech stuff… Best regards, Rod. Aunty says: Lost connection from a dongle can be from a number of things: The main one would be that the dongle is not installed correctly, or that the installed driver for the dongle is not 100% compatible with W8. It may be worth looking at the Vodaphone website for the correct driver for the dongle you have and reinstall it.

English keybord on a Spanish laptop AUNTY: AS I have said before, what a great job you are doing serving all the not-sotechnophiles. My problem is that I bought an ASUS F55A laptop from Spain and had the shop, BEEP, convert all programs to English. I know how to change the keyboard which indeed I have done. Pressing the taskbar icon I can transfer between ES Spanish Traditional Sort, EN English UK and EN English USA. Unfortunately, I have to utilise this during the writing of emails etc. because leaving the keyboard in any one of the formats does not give all the keyboard features: e.g. In UK format I have to revert to the ES format for dash, bracket, slash, etc. while in the ES format I have to revert to UK for e.g. @. I can cope but it is annoying; any ideas?

Aunty says: Usually most of the symbols on a ‘UK’ keyboard will also be available on a ‘Spanish’ keyboard, although they will not appear on the same keys as each other. So it may be a case of trial and error pressing SHIFT and or ALT to locate the keys that provide the symbol you want depending which keyboard setting you have. For example, on a standard UK keyboard setting the ‘@’ is via SHIFT and the appropriate key. On a Spanish keyboard setting, the ‘@’ is via ALT and 2. And for example, on a standard UK keyboard setting the brackets are ‘SHIFT’ and ‘9 or 0’ key. On a Spanish keyboard setting, the brackets are SHIFT and 8 or 9 key. Alternatively, use the character map option, available in Accessories, and system tools. This shows all the characters installed on the PC, and so you can simply select the character you want, copy it, and paste it into your document.

Gadget Inspector Investigates:

XMI X-Mini Max 2 Portable Speakers Portable speakers for connection to your laptop, smartphone or media player have been around for a long time – well for almost as long as laptops, smartphones and media players! But they don’t necessarily offer significantly improved performance than the original device, are bulky, expensive and still need a power connection involving a lot of faffing… But what if there was a compact, powerful, great sounding, re-chargeable alternative? Well, now there is: the XMI X-Mini Max 2 Portable Speakers. The XMI X-Mini Max 2s are truly portable as they concertina down from their playing configuration and then join together to make them easy to store and carry around. When you want to use them just separate the two units, expand the speaker units, join them together with the in-built cable and connect your laptop, smartphone or media player via the 3.5mm audio jack and you’re ready to go. Each speaker produces an impressive for its 2.5 watts size, and aided by the Bass Xpansion System offers superior bass performance and a clear, crisp sound over the 200hz -18khz operating range. And if you want to add more speakers the XMI X-Mini Max 2 can be daisy-chained with additional units for even more volume. Each charge should last for around 12 hours of playback and recharging takes

around 2½ hours using the supplied USB adapter. The Inspectors Verdict: The XMI XMini Max 2 Portable Speakers are small, powerful and sound good. They don´t need to be near a power connection either, so if you want to improve the listening experience with your portable music collection these fit the bill perfectly! Please note the following is for information and is not intended as an advertisement - visit to purchase the XMI X-Mini Max 2 Portable Speakers for 31€. Price quoted includes

free delivery to Spain and is subject to availability (Euro cost subject to exchange rate at time of purchase).

19 - 25 april 2013


Sidewalk Buddy The whole point of having a smart phone is that you can do a million things whilst on the go, and that includes whilst you are walking down the street. This can prove to be rather dangerous whilst concentrating on your phone screen rather than where you are going! Sidewalk Buddy is a new app that will allow you to safely use most apps with a clean and resizable pop-up which shows a live video feed from your rear facing camera as you walk. Texting and walking safety issues are gone! Navigate busy streets with ease, get more work done and be able to multi-task with safety in mind. Unlike transparent screen based apps, this app provides a clean separation between the video and the app you are using without getting too busy. The developers of this app do state quite clearly though that this app is for entertainment purposes only and you still need to be careful when you are out and about... that much is obvious surely!


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Life Showbiz Goss

Kimberley’s tripe and unions! IT HAS always amazed me how low the public seem to set their sights when it comes to celebrities, and how the not-so-daft celebs have got on to this, and how it all results in pile after pile of inane pap on TV and in books and magazines. The latest piece of tripe we can all look forward to come this September is what Kimberley Walsh calls her ‘first memoir’…but she’s only 31 years old…! … her first memoir? … Does that mean there’s gonna be more?! Kimberley has been in the pop business for 10 years, which is hardly a long time, but there she was tweeting last Tuesday: “I am very excited to announce that I will be releasing my official autobiography in September … people have been asking me to tell my story for years but it never felt right while the band was still together.” Aha! I see … so it’s not a memoir - it’s a cheap shot at dishing the dirt on her pals in Girls Aloud, doing a sneaky before anybody else gets in there and fills a book with secrets of times when a group of girls tried to live out the dream … not nice is that! Not nice at all… The Headline Publishing Group, behind this latest ‘tell all’ stated: “The tone of the book will take fans behind the scenes of Girls Aloud and will chart the laughs, tears and of course, the arguments.” … Trust me, you can be sure the tears and arguments will more than outstrip the laughs. Girls Aloud started up in 2002 and went on to sell mucho CDs and rode on the crest of a pretty big wave with live gigs and all else, and now Kimberley Walsh is trying to get herself one more spin of the wheel by writing her ‘memoir’ instead of doing something new and creative which is what proper artists do. The book is out in September as I said, and I highly recommend that you invest your hard earned in something a lot more important to you.


Peter Taylor

Writer and Broadcaster

Is the queen punting to be ‘M’?

IT’S ALWAYS fun to go out to dinner and even better when you can have a Shandy or three when you are also invited to stay the night. Famous folk, however, generally turn down such an offer, preferring to have their chauffeur speed them back to their humble abode in the heart of London’s Mayfair… Last week this overnight stay offer was extended to, amongst others, Daniel Craig and his actress wife Rachel Weisz, and they accepted with gusto.

And why so I hear you ask? … ‘Cause the invite came from the Queen for them to pig out and be merry at Windsor Castle … that’s why! According to the Daily Mail, at the dinner table our Lizzie recalled how fond her memories were of appearing with Craig during the 2012 Olympic Games opening ceremony and was on sparkling form all night. Does this mean the Queen plans to get herself an agent and top The Ginger Prince in the Royals’ Ratings?

ITS GOOD! …BUT NOT FOR STEPHEN ALL THE big TV stations endlessly try to hunt down new formats for shows as is seems they still have no idea what makes a good show and what makes a bad one. This is the reason why old shows get revamped so much and the latest programme to have this treatment in Catchphrase. Amazingly the show started way back in 1986 with the mercurial Roy Walker at the helm, and sadly for new boy Stephen Mulhern his presenting skills have not gone down well at all, with tweet after tweet not only rubbishing his performance but demanding the return of the ever smiling Irishman. Jamie Crouch tweeted: ‘Catchphrase isn’t Catchphrase without Roy Walker therefore I’m not interested … Rob Smedley added: ‘In the words of Roy Walker: “It’s good but it’s not right!”’ then Dee Dee Ruddock chipped in with: ‘I don’t remember Roy Walker being this patronising to the contestants’. In Stephen Mulhern’s defense his style is not suited to Catchphrase as he is a cheeky chappie who ad-libs all the time and sadly for him when he gets it wrong he’s as amusing as steak and custard Contractually speaking we are stuck with the guy till the end of May … Can he turn it round …? Watch this space!

Life TV

19 - 25 APRIL 2013


19th April - 25th April

FRIDAY 19th April BBC1







07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Crime Scene Rescue 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 Perfection 16:45 Chefs: Put Your Menu Where Your Mouth Is 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:55 Party Election Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 A Question of Sport 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 MasterChef 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Not Going Out 23:00 BBC News 23:35 Graham Norton Show 24:25 The Matt Lucas Awards 24:55 Butterfly on a Wheel

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Crime Scene Rescue 09:15 The A to Z of TV Gardening 10:00 Antiques Roadshow 11:00 Question Time 12:00 BBC News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Gymnastics 17:30 Coast 18:10 Flog It! 18:55 Party Election Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Helicopter Heroes 20:00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 21:00 Nature’s Microworlds 21:30 Gardeners’ World 22:00 The Genius of Josiah Wedgwood 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight 24:00 Weather 24:05 Later with Jools Holland

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 15:00 Rory Bremner’s Great British Views 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 ITV Central Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 The Martin Lewis Money Show 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 The Ice Cream Girls 23:00 ITV News 23:35 Forgetting Sarah Marshall

07:05 River Cottage Bites 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Location, Location, Location 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 What’s Cooking? 14:45 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge 15:45 Countdown 16:30 The Common Denominator 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Five Minutes to a Fortune 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 21:00 My Big Fat Gypsy Fortune 22:00 8 Out of 10 Cats 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 24:05 Rude Tube

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:05 5 News 13:15 The Removal Men 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: NY 16:15 Shadow on the Mesa 18:00 5 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News 20:00 Nature Shock 21:00 Ice Road Truckers 22:00 The Mentalist 23:00 CSI: 24:55 Inside Hollywood

07:00 Emmerdale 07:55 Planet’s Funniest Animals 08:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 09:10 You’ve Been Framed! 09:40 Judge Judy 10:05 The Only Way Is Essex 10:50 The Only Way Is Essex 11:35 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:35 Millionaire Matchmaker 13:30 Emmerdale 14:30 Judge Judy 15:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:10 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 18:05 Millionaire Matchmaker 19:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:30 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 You’ve Been Framed! Family Special 22:00 Shawshank Redemption 24:50 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

07:00 Switched 07:20 90210 08:05 Ugly Betty 08:50 One Tree Hill 09:50 Scrubs 10:15 Rules of Engagement 10:45 Charmed 11:40 90210 12:35 Ugly Betty 13:30 Hollyoaks 14:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 Scrubs 15:30 Scrubs 16:00 Charmed 17:00 Rules of Engagement 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 The Big Bang Theory 21:30 Youngers 22:00 Black Knight 23:55 The Body Shocking Show 24:30 The Big Bang Theory




SATURDAY 20th April BBC1

07:00 Breakfast 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 12:30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers 13:00 BBC News 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Snooker: The World Championship 15:15 Live Challenge Cup Rugby League 17:30 Final Score 18:10 Formula One 19:25 BBC News 19:45 Doctor Who 20:30 The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins 21:20 The Voice UK 22:20 Casualty 23:10 BBC News 23:30 Match of the Day


07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:45 On the Beat 09:30 A Stitch in Time 11:00 Snooker: The World Championship 13:25 EastEnders 15:15 Snooker: The World Championship 18:30 The Great British Sewing Bee 19:30 Flog It! 20:00 Snooker: The World Championship 21:00 Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em 21:30 The Many Faces of 22:30 QI XL 23:15 America in Primetime 24:15 Richard Briers: A Tribute

SUNDAY 21st April BBC1

07:00 Breakfast 08:00 Match of the Day 09:30 London Marathon 15:00 Sunday Politics 16:20 Points of View 16:35 Lifeline 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:15 Songs of Praise 18:00 Formula One 19:35 BBC News 20:00 Countryfile 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 The Village 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Match of the Day 2 24:25 Late Kick Off 24:55 The Getaway


07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:20 The Outlaw 09:15 Gardeners’ World 09:45 The A to Z of TV Gardening 10:30 The Beechgrove Garden 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Paul Hollywood’s Bread 13:00 Flog It! 14:00 Gymnastics 15:30 Snooker: The World Championship 19:00 Coast 20:00 London Marathon Highlights 21:00 Bill Bailey’s Jungle Hero 22:00 Toughest Place to Be 23:00 Mock the Week 23:30 It’s Kevin 24:00 Snooker: The World Championship 24:50 Snooker: World Championships Extra

ITV1 07:00 Childrens TV 08:05 Canimals 08:25 Almost Naked Animals 08:35 Ultimate Spider-Man 09:00 Jessie 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Saturday Farm 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:20 My Tasty Travels with Lynda Bellingham 12:20 Murder, She Wrote 13:20 ITV News 13:30 Midsomer Murders 15:25 The Chase 16:30 Kindergarten Cop 18:30 ITV News 19:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:00 Britain’s Got Talent 21:30 The Cube 22:30 The Jonathan Ross Show 23:30 ITV News 23:45 Parenthood

ITV1 07:00 Childrens TV 08:05 Canimals 08:20 Almost Naked Animals 08:30 Teenage Ninja Turtles 09:00 Sonny with a Chance 09:25 ITV News 09:30 Country House Sunday 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:20 Dickinson’s Real Deal 12:20 ITV News 12:25 Columbo: Mind over Mayhem 13:55 You’ve Been Framed! 14:25 Britain’s Got Talent 15:55 Food Glorious Food 16:55 Jurassic Park 19:15 ITV News 19:45 Catchphrase 20:30 Off Their Rockers 21:00 Endeavour 23:00 Perspectives 24:00 ITV News 24:15 Premiership Rugby Union

07:15 The Grid 07:40 World Superbikes 08:05 Athletics 08:55 The Morning Line 10:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 11:00 Frasier 11:30 Frasier 12:00 The Big Bang Theory 12:35 The Big Bang Theory 13:00 The Simpsons 13:35 The Secret Millionaire 14:40 Channel 4 Racing 17:15 Come Dine with Me 17:50 Come Dine with Me 18:20 Come Dine with Me 18:55 Come Dine with Me 19:25 Come Dine with Me 19:55 Channel 4 News 20:20 Grand Designs 21:15 Walking Through History 22:20 New Moon 24:45 Derren Brown Investigates: The Ghost Hunter

07:00 Childrens TV 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby’s Travelling Circus 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 11:35 Batman: The Brave and the Bold 12:00 Inside Hollywood 12:05 The Removal Men 13:05 Nature Shock 14:05 Robson’s Extreme Fishing Challenge 15:05 Cheaper by the Dozen 17:00 Apache 18:45 5 News 18:50 Cahill, United States Marshal 20:40 Rocky IV 22:30 Boxing 24:00 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 24:55 Inside Hollywood

07:00 All Star Family Fortunes 07:30 Coronation Street 09:45 Emmerdale 12:45 The Hot Desk 12:55 Britain’s Got More Talent 14:00 Girls Aloud - Ten Years at the Top 15:15 You’ve Been Framed! 15:40 You’ve Been Framed! 16:10 You’ve Been Framed! 16:40 You’ve Been Framed! 17:45 Curly Sue 19:40 Kangaroo Jack 21:30 Britain’s Got More Talent 22:30 Best of You’ve Been Framed! 23:30 Celebrity Juice 24:20 Plebs 24:50 Britain’s Got Talent


07:00 Heartland 07:45 Greek 08:40 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow 09:45 Make It or Break It 10:45 Ugly Betty 11:45 Scrubs 12:15 Scrubs 12:40 Scrubs 13:10 Glee 14:10 Charmed 15:10 Made in Chelsea 16:10 Rules of Engagement 18:30 The Mindy Project 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Youngers 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 How I Met Your Mother 22:00 Rush Hour 3 23:50 The Big Bang Theory 24:20 The Big Bang Theory 24:50 The Cleveland Show





07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freesports on 4 08:35 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:00 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Frasier 10:30 Sunday Brunch 13:00 The Big Bang Theory 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:20 The Simpsons 14:50 The Simpsons 15:20 Meet Dave 17:05 Deal or No Deal 18:05 Five Minutes to a Fortune 19:05 Channel 4 News 19:30 Come Dine with Me 20:30 The Karate Kid 23:15 Max Payne

07:00 Childrens TV 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 Toby’s Travelling Circus 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures 11:05 Power Rangers: Super Samurai 11:40 Batman: The Brave and the Bold 12:10 Inside Hollywood 12:15 Trauma Doctors 13:15 Cowboy Builders 14:15 Rolf’s Animal Clinic 15:20 It Could Happen to You 17:15 Little Women 19:30 5 News 19:35 The Fifth Element 22:00 Once Upon a Time 23:00 Person of Interest 23:55 Blood Work

07:00 The Planet’s

07:00 Switched 07:20 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow 08:15 Make It or Break It 09:05 Ugly Betty 10:05 Scrubs 10:35 Scrubs 11:05 Hollyoaks 13:35 Youngers 14:05 Made in Chelsea 15:05 Glee 16:05 Charmed 17:05 Revenge 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 18:30 New Girl 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:30 The Mindy Project 21:00 Bride Wars 22:45 Derren Brown: Something Wicked This Way Comes 24:20 2 Broke Girls 24:50 The Big Bang Theory

Funniest Animals 07:25 Emmerdale 10:10 Coronation Street 12:40 You’ve Been Framed! 13:10 Toy Story 14:55 Toy Story 2 16:45 You’ve Been Framed! 17:15 Britain’s Got Talent 18:45 Britain’s Got More Talent 19:45 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor 22:00 Shaun of the Dead 24:00 Celebrity Juice 24:50 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Life TV

19th April - 25th Apri

MONDAY 22nd April






07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Crime Scene Rescue 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 Perfection 16:45 Chefs: Put Your Menu Where Your Mouth Is 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:55 Party Election Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Bang Goes the Theory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 The Prisoners 23:00 BBC News 23:35 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 24:20 The Graham Norton Show

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Crime Scene Rescue 09:15 Saints and Scroungers 10:00 Great British Menu 10:30 British Railway Journeys 11:00 Snooker: The World Championship 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Snooker: The World Championship 18:55 Party Election Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Paul Hollywood’s Bread 22:00 Fit to Rule: How Royal Illness Changed History 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 Snooker: The World Championship

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 15:00 Rory Bremner’s Great British Views 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 ITV Central Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Central 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 James Nesbitt’s Ireland 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Broadchurch 23:05 ITV News 23:45 The Unforgettable 24:20 Monk

07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Location, Location, Location 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 What’s Cooking? 14:45 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge 15:45 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Five Minutes to a Fortune 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 SuperScrimpers 22:00 The Hoarder Next Door 23:00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:05 5 News 13:15 Trauma Doctors 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Carolina Moon 18:00 5 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News 20:00 The True Story 21:00 Nature Shock 22:00 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild 23:00 Battle Scarred 24:00 Pistol Whipped

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Coronation Street 07:55 Coronation Street 08:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 09:10 You’ve Been Framed! 09:40 Judge Judy 10:05 The Only Way Is Essex 11:35 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:35 Millionaire Matchmaker 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 Coronation Street 14:30 Coronation Street 15:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:10 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 18:05 Millionaire Matchmaker 19:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:25 Britain’s Got Talent 22:00 Totally You’ve Been Framed! 23:00 Plebs 23:35 Wanted






07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 15:00 Rory Bremner’s Great British Views 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 ITV Central Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News 23:40 Pensioners Behind Bars 24:40 In Plain Sight

07:00 The Treacle People 07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Location, Location, Location 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 What’s Cooking? 14:45 SuperScrimpers’ Challenge 15:45 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Five Minutes to a Fortune 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 21:00 Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic 22:00 Edward VIII’s Murderous Mistress 23:00 Shameless 24:10 8 Out of 10 Cats

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:05 5 News 13:15 Cowboy Builders 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Sacrifices of the Heart 18:00 5 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News 20:00 Extraordinary People: Britain’s Tiniest Toddlers 21:00 Big Body Squad 22:00 CSI 23:00 Body of Proof 23:55 Dallas 24:55 CSI: NY

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Coronation Street 07:55 Coronation Street 08:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 09:10 You’ve Been Framed! 09:40 Judge Judy 10:05 The Only Way Is Essex 11:35 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:35 Millionaire Matchmaker 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 Coronation Street 14:30 Coronation Street 15:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:10 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 18:05 Millionaire Matchmaker 19:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:30 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Peter Andre: My Life 22:00 The Vampire Diaries 23:00 666 Park Avenue 24:00 Celebrity Juice 24:45 Plebs

07:00 90210 07:45 Ugly Betty 08:30 One Tree Hill 09:35 Scrubs 10:10 Rules of Engagement 10:35 Charmed 11:30 90210 12:30 Ugly Betty 13:30 Hollyoaks 14:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 Scrubs 15:30 Scrubs 16:00 Charmed 17:00 Rules of Engagement 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:30 The Big Bang Theory 22:00 New Girl 22:30 The Mindy Project 23:00 The Cleveland Show 23:30 The Inbetweeners 24:05 Rude Tube

TUESDAY 23rd April


07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Crime Scene Rescue 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 Perfection 16:45 Chefs: Put Your Menu Where Your Mouth Is 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:55 Party Election Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 The Syndicate 23:00 BBC News 23:35 The Wright Way 24:05 Air Force One


07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Crime Scene Rescue 09:15 Saints and Scroungers 10:00 Great British Menu 10:30 British Railway Journeys 11:00 Snooker: The World Championship 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Snooker: The World Championship 18:55 Party Election Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 21:00 The Great British Sewing Bee 22:00 Keeping Britain Alive: The NHS in a Day 23:00 Later Live - with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 Snooker: The World Championship

WEDNESDAY 24th April



07:00 Switched 07:20 90210 08:05 Ugly Betty 08:50 One Tree Hill 09:40 Scrubs 10:10 Rules of Engagement 10:40 Charmed 11:35 90210 12:30 Ugly Betty 13:30 Hollyoaks 14:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 Scrubs 15:30 Scrubs 16:00 Charmed 17:00 Rules of Engagement 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 New Girl 21:30 The Mindy Project 22:00 Revenge 23:00 Made in Chelsea 24:00 The Inbetweeners 24:35 8 Out of 10 Cats








07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Crime Scene Rescue 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 Perfection 16:45 Chefs: Put Your Menu Where Your Mouth Is 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:55 Party Election Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 21:00 MasterChef 22:00 Great Bear Stakeout 23:00 BBC News 23:35 A Question of Sport 24:05 Munich

07:00 Homes Under the Hammer 08:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 08:45 Crime Scene Rescue 09:15 Saints and Scroungers 10:00 Great British Menu 10:30 See Hear 11:00 Snooker: The World Championship 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 Lifeline 14:10 Snooker: The World Championship 18:55 Party Election Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 21:00 Coast 22:00 This World 23:00 James May’s Things You Need to Know 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 Snooker: The World Championship

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 15:00 Rory Bremner’s Great British Views 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 ITV Central Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Central 19:25 Party Election Broadcast 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Food Glorious Food 22:00 Scott & Bailey 23:00 ITV News 23:35 Sports Life Stories 24:35 The Dales

07:10 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss USA 12:00 Location, Location, Location 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 What’s Cooking? 14:45 SuperScrimpers 15:45 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Five Minutes to a Fortune 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 10 O’Clock Live 23:55 Random Acts 24:00 16 Kids and Counting

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:30 Bert and Ernie 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:05 5 News 13:15 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Mystery Woman: Vision of a Murder 18:00 5 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News 20:00 Rolf’s Animal Clinic 21:00 Emergency Bikers 22:00 NCIS 23:00 Law & Order 23:55 CSI 24:55 Poker

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Britain’s Got More Talent 08:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 09:10 You’ve Been Framed! 09:40 Judge Judy 10:05 The Only Way Is Essex 10:50 The Only Way Is Essex 11:35 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:35 Millionaire Matchmaker 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 Britain’s Got More Talent 15:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:10 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 18:05 Millionaire Matchmaker 19:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:30 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 21:30 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 Body of Lies

07:00 Switched 07:20 90210 08:05 Ugly Betty 08:50 Desperate Housewives 09:40 Scrubs 10:10 Rules of Engagement 10:40 Charmed 11:35 90210 12:35 Ugly Betty 13:30 Hollyoaks 14:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 Scrubs 15:35 Scrubs 16:00 Charmed 17:00 Rules of Engagement 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 Youngers 21:00 Failure to Launch 23:00 Rude Tube 24:05 Made in Chelsea

19 - 25 april 2013


THURSDAY 25th April BBC1






07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 12:45 Crime Scene Rescue 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 Perfection 16:45 Chefs: Put Your Menu Where Your Mouth Is 17:30 Antiques Road Trip 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:55 Party Election Broadcast 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 MasterChef 22:00 Great Bear Stakeout 23:00 BBC News 23:35 Question Time 24:35 This Week

07:00 This Is BBC Two 07:05 Homes Under the Hammer 08:05 Don’t Get Done, Get Dom 08:50 Crime Scene Rescue 09:20 Saints and Scroungers 10:05 Great British Menu 11:05 British Railway Journeys 11:35 HARDtalk 12:00 BBC News 13:00 Daily Politics 14:00 Snooker: The World Championship 18:55 Party Election Broadcast 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Flog It! 20:00 Hairy Bikers’ Best of British 21:00 James May’s Man Lab 22:00 The Politician’s Husband 23:00 Watson & Oliver 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 Snooker: The World Championship

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 15:00 Rory Bremner’s Great British Views 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 ITV Central Weather 17:00 Tipping Point 18:00 The Chase 19:00 ITV News Central 19:10 Party Election Broadcast 19:15 ITV News 19:45 Emmerdale 20:45 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:10 ITV News 23:45 UEFA Europa League Highlights 24:45 Jonathan Ross Show

07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:05 According to Jim 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 11:00 Undercover Boss Australia 12:00 Location, Location, Location 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Come Dine with Me 13:35 What’s Cooking? 14:45 SuperScrimpers 15:45 Countdown 16:30 1001 Things You Should Know 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Five Minutes to a Fortune 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Secret Eaters 22:00 The Intern 23:00 The Sex Clinic 24:05 24 Hours in A&E

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Tickety Toc 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Trisha 13:00 Looney Tunes 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Body Squad 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 The Mentalist 16:15 Beyond the Blackboard 18:00 5 News 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:30 5 News 20:00 The Hotel Inspector 21:00 Cowboy Builders 22:00 Trauma Doctors 23:00 The Specialist

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Coronation Street 07:55 Planet’s Funniest Animals 08:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 09:10 You’ve Been Framed! 09:40 Judge Judy 10:05 The Only Way Is Essex 11:35 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 12:35 Millionaire Matchmaker 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 Coronation Street 14:30 Judge Judy 15:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 17:10 The Real Housewives of Atlanta 18:05 Millionaire Matchmaker 19:00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 21:00 Dinner Date: Australia 22:00 Peter Andre: My Life 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:50 Plebs 24:20 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records

Crossword Answers 704 Cryptic Solutions Across: 3 Forestall; 8 Paid; 9 Setsquare; 10 Region; 11 Seven; 14 These; 15 Romp; 16 Relic; 18 Rout; 20 Route; 21 Third; 24 Switch; 25 Resembled; 26 Lion; 27 St. Bernard. Down: 1 Spare tyre; 2 Single out; 4 Open; 5 Ensue; 6 Tourer; 7 Lark; 9 Sober; 11 Solid; 12 Not up to it; 13 Upper hand; 17 Crowd; 19 Thieve; 22 Robin; 23 Beat; 24 Seer.

Quick Solutions Across: 3 Unsavoury; 8 Roar; 9 Samaritan; 10 Absent; 11 Blend; 14 Demur; 15 Turn; 16 Eight; 18 Wind; 20 Amble; 21 Yearn; 24 Disown; 25 Interpret; 26 Knot; 27 Legendary. Down: 1 Breakdown; 2 Parsimony; 4 Neat; 5 Avail; 6 Orient; 7 Real; 9 Snare; 11 Begin; 12 Dumbfound; 13 Indemnity; 17 Tacit; 19 Delete; 22 Rapid; 23 Once; 24 Dear.

E4 07:00 Switched 07:20 90210 08:05 Ugly Betty 08:50 Desperate Housewives 09:40 Scrubs 10:10 Rules of Engagement 10:40 Charmed 11:35 90210 12:35 Ugly Betty 13:30 Hollyoaks 14:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 Scrubs 16:00 Charmed 17:00 Rules of Engagement 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 The Big Bang Theory 21:30 How I Met Your Mother 22:00 The New Normal 22:30 2 Broke Girls 23:00 The Body Shocking Show 23:35 Rude Tube 24:05 Fresh Meat

What’s on Viva TV this week VIVA TV broadcasts on the Torresat Networks every day from 2.00pm until 10pm. And you can watch all our programmes and find our full listings at Friday 19th April Let’s Talk – we speak to outrageous 60’s singer now settled here on the Costa but no less of a hellraiser – Wayne Fontana. 18.30 Saturday 20th April An Evening With... Keeping the 60’s theme it’s Dave Berry best known for the Crying Game. 19.00 Sunday 21st April Torrevieja Rugby – RFU chief David Pickering visits the Torrevieja Tigers and talks to us about grass roots rugby around the world. 18.15 Monday 22nd Apr Host Your Own(series) The Costa Blanca’s answer to “Come Dine With Me” – Ep. 6 Caroline Brennan

- hosts a delightfully ‘fruity’ evening. 19.30 Tuesday 23rd Apr Dave & Andy’s Excellent Adventures – The boys’ next challenges are sport sea fishing and Quad biking in the mountains. 18.30 Wednesday 24th Apr A blast from the past as we join the Beach Party in 2009 with dozens of entertainers, stall holders and revellers. 18.05 Thursday 25th Apr Inland Spain – travel a few miles inland from the coast and you’ll discover dozens of beautiful old towns and villages, Jumilla being one of them. 19.30


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Life health

Smokers at risk from sight loss A LOCAL optician is warning smokers of the risks that the habit poses to their vision.

AGE-RELATED MACULAR Degeneration (AMD) is the leading cause of severe vision loss for People people over the age of 55 in the western who smoke world. AMD is a degenerative retinal eye more than disease that causes progressive loss of central double vision. AMD affects the macula – the part of their risk of the retina responsible for clear vision needed developing AMD for daily activities such as reading or driving. According to the World Health throughout your body. Many of these are Organisation the only established modifiable poisonous to the delicate tissues of the eye, risk factor is smoking. People who smoke damaging the macula and ultimately leading more than double their risk of developing to loss of vision.” AMD yet this is not widely known. Mr. Evans warns: “As well as the early “Awareness of blindness from smoking onset of AMD, smokers also have a higher is worryingly low,” says Colin Evans from likelihood of developing cataracts, a Specsavers Opticas in Torrevieja. “When common cause of blindness and visual you inhale a cigarette, approximately 4,000 impairment. In addition, tobacco smoking chemicals such as nicotine, tar, arsenic and can lead to damage of the optic nerve, ammonia enter your bloodstream and travel causing further vision impairment.”

In January 2012, just a year after the smoking ban came into force in Spain, the National Committee for the Prevention of Tobacco (CNPT) and the Commission for the Tobacco Market estimated that 600,000 Spanish individuals had given up smoking and estimated that the consumption of tobacco in Spain fell by 17% as a result. Mr. Evans says: “This is excellent news for the nation’s eye health. Other countries that have adopted the smoking ban have seen

really positive health benefits as a result and it is hoped that this trend will continue in Spain.” Specsavers Opticas expect to see similar health benefits following the smoking ban in Spain and is encouraging smokers to take a positive step in safeguarding their eye sight by giving up. If a smoker has concerns, a thorough eye test can identify whether their eyes have any of the signs of AMD. Visit to find your nearest Specsavers and book a free eye test.

Our patients are a testimony to the success of the treatment of osteoarthritis Contrary to popular belief, osteoarthritis is not due to age-related ‘wear and tear’ on your joints. It tends to be more common as you get older – affecting around 80% of people over the age of 50 to some degree – but it is not a normal part of ageing. Osteoarthritis develops in a joint when changes occur in the cartilage; the soft tissue that protects the surface of a bone and allows the joint to move freely. These changes may be due to damage that occurred many years before any symptoms appear.

Shockwave therapy offers an exciting addition to the treatment options for osteoarthritis, with little to no risk of adverse side effects.  Shockwave therapy can help significantly reduce the inflammation of the joint.  The therapy helps to slow the progression of osteoarthritis and it can actually alter the process of cartilage degradation.  The shockwaves stimulate certain components within the body, so the body is able to heal. Shockwave therapy is able to accomplish this even in chronic cases.  Shockwave therapy seems to have a direct effect on nerves, diminishing pain.  The treatment vastly increases movement. We find that many patients get an initial degree of improvement almost immediately following treatment. Our patients are able to resume normal lives free of the inhibitions that they previously experienced. Please refer to our website for more information and if you are a patient that has benefitted from our treatments, please send us your testimony via the website.

WANT TO join a nonprofit organisation which is thriving on the Costa Blanca and committed to supporting charitable causes and bringing people together? There are Freemasons lodges throughout the Costa Blanca who meet on a weekly basis and welcome new members. For more information please contact Harry Palmer by email at palmers. or 96 671 2326.

Do you frequently ask people to repeat themselves? Pardon? COULD THIS be a sign of Hearing Loss? Have you ever been told to turn the volume down on the TV? Or maybe you can’t quite understand what people say, especially in noisy places. NONE OF us like to think we are getting old but hearing loss is actually more common than you think. For the over 50s, one in five have some degree of hearing loss. It creeps up on us over a number of years and since it is usually painless it might be a while before you realise that your hearing is no longer as good as it used to be. The realisation that your hearing has deteriorated might be when your grandchild comments on the sound of a bird singing and you can’t hear it, or even to the point that you have difficulty hearing your grandchild’s voice clearly. You may have difficulty hearing others at social gatherings, particularly if there is lots of background noise and not just because the music is too loud! Hearing loss can leave an individual concerned, feeling isolated, frustrated and even depressed. But there is no need to be - in fact, you can do a simple ‘Self-Test’ right now - just look at this list of common signs of hearing loss: • Do you frequently ask people to repeat themselves?

• Do you have trouble hearing in a noisy or busy place? • Do you misunderstand conversations? • Do you find that you can hear people talking but you cannot make out the words? • Do you turn up the volume on the TV or radio? • Do you avoid social occasions? • Do you find greater difficulty hearing female or children’s voices? • Have your family, friends or colleagues suggested that you have your hearing checked? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then maybe it’s time to take that step and have a hearing evaluation carried out by a qualified registered hearing aid audiologist. Premier Hearing Services. Contact us now for a Hearing Evaluation: 659 644 106. Richard G. Sykes HAD FSHAA: Hearing Aid Audiologist: Fellow of the British Society of Hearing Aid Audiologists. Registered with the Health and Care Professions Council (UK)

Fantastic fashion shows on your doorstep

HERE AT Looking Good Boutique La Zenia we work really hard to present and promote our hand picked fashion collections to existing and new customers alike. We hold regular free fashion shows, normally in our boutique, and they are always great fun. Our wonderful customers volunteer to model the collections, the champagne is put on ice, the reserved seats arranged and the microphone turned on. Last week we hosted our Didier Parakian show, an amazing collection from a world class French designer. We had French champagne, canapes, a raffle, a sale day discount of 15% off the entire collection, a sale rail for the end of last season’s collection. We have an event planned for Saturday 20th April at 12 noon for our much loved Joseph Ribkoff Fashion Show, it is not too late to reserve your seat, just call us. The final show of this season is on Thursday 9th May instore at 4.30pm and you will be treated to a Pause Café and High Summer Show, not to be missed as the collection is funky and fun. One final note is the Charity Auction we are hosting on Wednesday 24th April at 2pm in Alfie’s Place, just around the corner from the boutique. Hosted by Simon Morton of Sunshine FM and on behalf of Easy Horse Care Rescue Centre Rojales we are offering lots of great lots for auction, all donated by local businesses or residents there is something for everyone, seats can be reserved by calling us on 96 676 0479.

19 - 25 APRIL 2013


Dr Xavier Dutey-Harispe D.C Clinica Quiropractica Algorfa Carretera Almoradi, No.18 Bajo 03169, Algorfa Tel: 965 071 898 / 618 337 616 (out of clinic hours)

Have you been diagnosed with herniated discs of the spine? Has your consultant recommended surgery? Would you like the opportunity to seek advice from the Algorfa Chiropractic Clinic, free of charge and without obligation? What is a herniated disc? An intervertebral disc is made up of an outer, fibrous ring, and a central soft portion. The disc itself receives nourishment through the motion of the vertebrae above and below it moving and passing the blood and fluids through the disc. If this movement does not occur, the outer ring can dry and tear which allows the soft portion of the disc to bulge out. This is what is commonly known as a herniated disc. (Also called a slipped disc, bulging disc, disc protrusion, etc.) It is when the bulging disc puts pressure on the exiting spinal nerve that pain, or an inflammatory reaction, will occur. It is therefore very important to have a full understanding of what is causing the pain. If you have X-Rays or MRI scans Dr Dutey-Harispe, will advise if he is able to help with Chiropractic treatment. The clinic opened on the 1st March 2013, we now have a website; although still in its infancy, it is informative about how chiropractic treatment can help with lots of health problems.

Hours of opening: Tuesday & Wednesday: Thursday:

9.00 - 14.00 16.00 - 21.00

Life recipes

Strawberry and marscapone sandwich MEDITERRANEAN STRAWBERRIES are now in season and it’s hard to beat the simple pleasure of fresh strawberries and cream. But occasionally it’s nice to do something special with the luscious red fruit. Most Spanish bakeries sell a plain sponge cake that is perfect for this dish. You will need an 8cm metal pastry cutter. • 400g fresh strawberries • 2 pre-baked flat sponges about 1.5cm thick • 300ml marscapone • 2 tbls icing sugar plus extra for dusting 1. Reserve four of the best strawberries with the stalks intact, wash and set aside. Remove the stalks and hulls from the rest of the strawberries, wash and cut into small cubes. Place the marscapone in a medium sized bowl and add the icing sugar. Mix until soft and smooth. Stir in the diced strawberries. 2. Place the sponges on a flat board and, using the pastry cutter, cut out eight disks. Place one disk in the bottom of the cutter on a serving plate and spoon in the marscapone and strawberry mixture, pressing down to get a flat surface. Place another sponge disk on top and use this to press out the sandwich. Repeat until you have four identical sandwiches. 3. Take each of the reserved strawberries and, using a sharp knife, make a series of cuts from the top of each strawberry to the bottom without cutting through the stalk. Press gently to create a fan effect and place on top of each sandwich. Place a little extra icing sugar in a fine sieve and sprinkle over the top. Serves: 4 Preparation time: 15-20 minutes

If you have a recipe you would like to share with RTN Readers, email your recipe and if possible a photo to

19 - 25 APRIL 2013


International tribute to Gene Pitney & Roy Orbison Tony Lee

TONY LEE sold out at all seven venues during his 2012 tour - Jukebox Promotions had to put an extra show into the schedule! Audiences were amazed at how incredibly close to both artists Tony’s voice and style is! Having worked with some of the biggest names from the era of music associated with Gene Pitney and Roy Orbison and been invited by the Pitney family to the USA for special Commemoration shows and events, he is recognised as the very best! Working with Bobby Vee, Bobby Rydell, The Chiffons, The Platters, Gary Puckett, Santo & Johnny and many more great artists in the States, he simply feels the music and recreates the fabulous sounds of these two great artists so well.” Tony Lee is supported by the fantastic Jukebox Legends during this nostalgic tour. Book early at the venue of your choice as the shows are sure to be another sell out. Seating will be limited everywhere as no additional shows can be added this year! Tickets are 8.50€ (unless stated) from the venues or online at More information at the website or call 695 135 134: Shows start at 8.30pm DATES & VENUES 28th April: The Lounge Bar, Torrevieja: 96 692 2134 30th April: La Marina Sports Complex: 96 679 6389 1st May: Costa Narejos Hotel, Los Alcazares: 96 540 0188 2nd May: Rocajuna, Punta Prima: 664 591 795 / 96 599 7260 3rd May: Bar Restaurant San Miguel, Cooperativa Murla, Jalon Valley: 633 076 588 / 633 694 740 5th May: Rendezvous, Campoamor: inland Campoamor - near Mercadona and La Fuente Centre: (10€ tickets include a great buffet): 608 467 597 6th May: Emerald isle, La Florida: 647 681 294 7th May: The Club House, Camposol Golf: 96 897 8855 8th May: The Club, Quesada: 96 671 7028


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Life horoscopes


Mercury squares on Pluto in your second house with Capricorn. After all that you have recently achieved by sheer hard work and in defiance of odds against you, this week is the icing on the cake, and no less than you deserve to have. Those who have tried to be a spanner in the works did not know your courage and your temerity. MY MATE Marmite…………you either like it or hate it and

there is nothing in between. My partner Carl loves the odd Banana and Marmite sandwich, whereas I was once served a copious helping of Marmite on toast as a child and could never ever forget the taste. Different strokes for different folks, mind you I am a crunchy Peanut Butter and Tomato ketchup fan myself. Don’t knock it until you try it! The death of Baroness Margaret Thatcher has brought You may feel you are being pulled in two different directions and you conflict and division to the U.K. There are those who have to be strong and ground yourself if you are to make any leeway. are mourning her death and heralding her as a saint, Someone is abusing your kindness and just taking an advantage whilst others are full of joy and celebrating her passing. because they can, and because you are allowing it to happen. An analytical Pluto and the love of Venus will resolve and strengthen you. Here I would urge that people whatever they think should accept the fact that Maggie is dead and that, as The Partial Lunar Eclipse brings a wealth of activity around you; such, she deserves all the respect going that is normally highlighting something well worth avoiding the sanctuary of your afforded to those who have passed over to the other inner shell for. Though you maybe somewhat indecisive over recent side. I always respect the dead, especially as many of my changes that have taken place without you, time has come for you clients and work colleagues are dead and doing just that, to accept that which you will never change and get on with it. living or learning to live on the other side. Maggie too was therefore either liked or disliked, again no hovering Pride comes before a fall, and you have done a great job of holding on through some shaky times, your survival based on what you make around in the middle ground, pure hatred or adoration as two great extremes for the Lady who was not for turning. of the immediate future. Forget your bruised ego and a new set of The same positive or negative is afforded to our instructions, just do what you know that you do best and tell anyone concept of Spirit. Here you either believe or you don’t, but that gets too close for comfort that you are not to be messed with! there are a core of people who float around between the As the Moon takes on Saturn and Mars something very magical two camps. Some are waiting for a sign that should help is possible and you will feel it coming your way. It has been hard them to understand……and this may never come so they to trust, wrong to make unrealistic plans, but hey…… look what’s shouldn’t set any traps just get on with it. Others are so at stake now. Forget the misgiven advice of those who don’t fearful of the gift that they know that they have, but they know the real you and know that now you can make a difference. won’t say anything or use this gift because they are scared. Some do not see the gifts that surround them. Some see Venus, your romantic planetary leader, is bent on helping you to Much planetary action this week as Taurus is elevated by the Sun and takes on Venus and Mars. Whatever you do, do not let your heart rule your head and stick to your guns particularly since someone has been economical with the truth around you. There may be a conflict of interests, as a backlash, but just walk away!

balance after an emotional interlude you are best to forget. Nobody who treats you without respect has ever loved you; whatever they have said, and how many times you have forgiven them. Bad history repeats itself. Your recent strength is your inspiration, and it lifts you.

Payback is long overdue. You will see a smile on your face as something from the past is happily deleted from a list of minor difficulties that surround you as of late. Just because someone gets their come uppance is just the start. You have been truthful and honest , and have never wanted anything but this fair judgment to fall in your favour. Capricorn and Saturn are supporting an action which can only be realised if you face up to what now has to happen. You cannot and you will not be blamed, but holding back creates a vacuum in which nobody can be happy; and a solution seems further away. Follow gut instinct and eliminate false pride and all will be well. With Saturn in pursuit and a Partial Lunar eclipse in Scorpio you would be wise to pause before you make any decisions. Call this stalling if you wish, but it is also self preserving in the wake of the reactions that fuel the Cosmos around the time of an eclipse. Leave anything needing your signature until the end of the week. Watch finances, as a corner with Taurus and Mars develops and making economies right now will make the difference. You are so very good at make and mend, but this week really stretches the budget and you are advised to pull your belt in; especially after a recent expensive purchase. Someone isn’t paying their way, for sure. For once you see the way forward, and what this can mean. There have been some pressures lately, but you can now see the wood for the trees and things are far away from the slippery slope. Have the courage of your convictions, and just see things through because you have some highly inspiring energies where others are concerned.

Kennys diary Albir Readings: The End of the Mayan Calendar has brought the Maya Bistro in Albir a brand new name. In future it will be known as SOMETHING ELSE. Readings are available on Monday April 29th and Wednesday 1st May from 17.00. Call for bookings for mini readings on: 966 868 213. DNA: A Spring Workshop: A one day workshop that helps you to charge your own unique Spiritual DNA. An intensive workshop, open to all, that intensifies, accelerates and inspires Spiritual progress and indicates the clear way ahead. Dates in April/May, or can travel to your own group or organisation. For details please call Kenny directly on 686 361 594 or leave a message on: 96 587 8424. Meditation Workshop: Working with your Sanctuary is a half day workshop in Meditation technique. No previous experience necessary and all welcome as we explore our hidden depths. May date. Call for info.

If it’s your birthday this week

Kenny corris Spiritual gifts as a curse, and are unable to connect with the great positive side of Spiritualism; which has never sought harm to anyone or any detriment whatsoever. I was told recently that the dead are sleeping and that I am Ungodly and have no right to disturb them. I shall remember that when next I unite someone with their dear departed and the tears of happiness and surprise flow. For me every connection is a sacred space borne by love, and if God had indeed wanted to put a stop to my lifelong work then he is taking his time. I never waste God’s time because I am a subscriber to the Angel Kingdom, and here so much help flows through whenever it is most needed. However if I need the Boss I wouldn’t hesitate! There will always be levels and we have to be true to our conscious, but we either choose to say yes or no to Spirit, and our rights should be upheld and honoured and fully respected. There are those who find it hard to see the positive action of even the most negative situation, but believe me it is there if you really look for it. Nostalgia forces us to look back at things we have said and done, but these were the right things at the time and it is very easy to see wrong when viewing in hindsight. Life will bring opportunity to our door, but we do have to be able to see it to take it all in. Everyone has special views, and they are untitled to them, but the World must unite to deal with that we need to make a difference when things go wrong. Whilst women, men and children, even babies are gang raped in Africa and India, whilst a beautiful family of kids can be burned to death by the very adults they thought were caring for them, whilst buying a gun in the USA takes 5 minutes and costs from 50$ we know something has to be done. Yes or No?

Love & Light... Kenny Corris


Email your letters to me at:

KENNY WHAT can I do to stand up to my sister? She has joined the Jehovah’s Witnesses and now my niece cannot celebrate her birthday anymore amongst other things, I am full of anger for the selfishness of this religion. Amy.H. Amy I know it is difficult, but this will be a great test for you. I sincerely hope that you stand up for your own principles but it’s not worth losing a sister over. Personally I could never choose a religion that sells door to door, that denies Christmas and Birthday celebrations and doesn’t believe in blood transfusions. If the spaces in Heaven are being auctioned to the World of Witnesses that doesn’t bother me and I wouldn’t want to go there if I wasn’t welcome anyway. Have your defence, and even if anger causes you to close the door to your Sister leave a light burning for her, and tell her that you will do this for her. I wish you great luck in a tricky situation.

Change for change sake isn’t what you need right now as you consolidate what you hold dear. Time now is best spent planning for just what it is you really want, and what really makes you tick!


Cryptic Crossword ACROSS 1. The spirit of the overventuresome (5) 4. Does old inconsequential designs (7) 8. They pinch children (7) 9. Musician seen in Chapel Gardens (5) 10. Restricted, we hear, but free to come in and go out (4) 11. In which there’s many a patient rehearsal (8) 13. Poisonous growth from Pennsylvania in America (4) 14. See 23 Across 16. He has progressed to some degree and remains unmatched (8) 17. Stimulus needed to produce endless acceleration (4) 20. One needs to do business to achieve this (5) 21. Beginning to make a breach (7) 22. Shows contempt for a bad deed, sir (7) 23 & 14 Across. Excellent pace in bottom gear? (5-4)

Word Ladders


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

DOWN 1. Italian unable to see window fitting (8,5) 2. Quick and quiet in attack (5) 3. A word of agreement by eastern observers (4) 4. What is wanted of French king (6) 5. Garment that’s worn out (8) 6. Fuel to set fire to after the end of the coal! (7) 7. Waits upon you and me properly - it’s our fault! (6,2,5) 12. Put a name to the boy embracing the pretty girl (8) 13. Faint - when relative arrives? (7) 15. This clue won’t hold water (6) 18. Previously the Father of the House? (5) 19. Chain of rocks here - furl the sails (4)

The key rule is that you must only change one letter at a time as you move from one rung to another, and the word you make must be a proper word! Therefore you may move from BATH --> BATS but not from BATH --> CASH because that changes two letters in one go which is not allowed.

Quick Crossword

ACROSS 1. Accumulate (5) 4. Salary (7) 8. Delight (7) 9. Squeeze (5) 10. Frank (4) 11. Cape (8) 13. Dash (4) 14. Advance payment (4) 16. Exactness (8) 17. Saucy (4) 20. Unsuitable (5) 21. Ruin (7) 22. Innate (7) 23. Lock of hair (5)

DOWN 1. Cluster (13) 2. Proverb (5) 3. Team (4) 4. Vocalist (6) 5. Cheeky (8) 6. Raise (7) 7. Drawbacks (13) 12. Story-teller (8) 13. Charm (7) 15. Real (6) 18. Banish (5) 19. Revise (4)

Euromillions Draw Friday 12th April 2013

5 10 15 28 45



One French ticket won the 26,258,942 Euros

Tuesday 16th April 2013

Last weeks crossword answers can be found on on page 47.

1 11 22 33 50



One Spanish ticket won the 15,000,000 Euros


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Life spanish

Basic Spanish for everyday needs by Jane Cronin

Step by Step Spanish -28 I WOULD like to say that we’ve got to the end of the Present Subjunctive, but the truth is, you never get to the end of the Present Subjunctive – it just goes on and on. However, we will round it up for now and I’ll attempt something slightly less taxing next week, I promise. TWO STRANGE EXCEPTIONS The first thing I want to mention is two instances where you would expect to have to use the Present Subjunctive according to all the explanations and rules you have learnt so far, but in fact you don’t! Example number one is the word “SI” which means “IF” (by the way, the word “si” meaning “if” doesn’t have an accent, whereas “sí” meaning “yes” has an accent. The accent is there to distinguish between the two words – if and yes, si and sí. I’ll bet you’d never noticed that before!) Si vienes mañana, podemos ir juntos. (If you come tomorrow, we can go together). Escribiré la carta si me das la dirección. (I’ll write the letter if you give me the address). Now wouldn’t you, in all honesty, think that “si” should be followed by the subjunctive in these sentences? – but it isn’t! “Si vengas mañana” is incorrect, “si vienes mañana” is correct. If you would like an explanation of the reason for this, then please don’t ask me, for I have absolutely no idea. I could probably invent something for you, but the truth is - it just is. Exactly the same thing occurs with our second example “creo que” (I think that, or I believe that). This also does not take the subjunctive. “Creo que es verdad” ( I think it’s true). However: “No creo que sea verdad” (I don’t think it’s true). You’ve got it – if you think something, it’s not in the subjunctive, but

if you don’t think something -it’s in the subjunctive. Just don’t ask, and don’t blame me either, I would never have even thought of it. Sentences with more than one subject We’ve really looked at this already but in a slightly different way. However, I want to mention this again because it contrasts with a concept we learnt right at the beginning of these Step by Step articles when we were learning about simple sentence building and we put the second verb into the infinitive. Quiero aprender español. (one subject) Quiero que mi hijo aprenda español. (two subjects) In the first sentence we can put the second verb into the infinitive because the subject “I” controls the meaning of both verbs. However, in the second sentence the two verbs are controlled by two separate subjects “I want” “my son learns”. As we have seen before, these two concepts are linked by “que” so that the literal meaning is “I want that my son learn” (you see we have a kind of latent subjunctive in English which is expressed by dropping the “s” from “learns”). However, in English we would normally use an infinitive verb in both sentences. “I want to learn Spanish”; “I want my son to learn Spanish.” I thought I’d leave you with a weird little sentence I found on my wanderings through Google. This was given as an example of the use of the Present Subjunctive, which I have to admit, it is: Si tu mujer quiere que te tires de un balcón, pide a Dios que sea bajo.

Life books

BOSTON BOMBINGS David Walliams @davidwalliams: When I see another atrocity on television I think of Harold Pinter’s comment.. ‘Life is beautiful, but the world is hell’. Sunday Brunch @SundayBrunchC4: Hi everyone, hope you’re all safe today, and our thoughts are with our American friends in Boston. Gary Barlow @GBarlowOfficial: Will be saying a prayer tonight for these poor people in Boston Piers Morgan@piersmorgan: Whoever did it, this was a terror attack - and given the diversity of those marathon runners, one on the world, not just America. #Boston Sky News Newsdesk @SkyNewsBreak: President Obama has said that “any responsible individuals or groups will feel the full weight of justice” after Boston marathon explosions max beesley @maxbeesley7: Bombing in boston is horrendous. Thoughts, prayers to those who have lost their innocent lives or been injured.Callous cowardice disgusting. James Whale @THEJamesWhale: #Boston,can’t begin to think why?Just so sad. Hoping for the best for everybody involved. David Baddiel @Baddiel: Who the @#!? blows up marathon runners?

Danny Collins -

Sod That for a Game of Soldiers AS THIS week marks the funeral of Baroness Thatcher, the Iron Lady who led Britain through its rebirth as a fighting nation in the re-conquest of the Falklands and in so doing returned pride and backbone to the nation from which it had been so sadly lost, it is perhaps fitting to review a book that presents the reality of combat on East Falkland, that cold, rocky, and distant fragment of the British Empire. Mark Eyles-Thomas was a 17-year-old private of 3 Para during the Falkland conflict and saw three of his friends die under fire as 3 Para took Mount Longdon. His book tells of the agony of war, the freezing nights huddled into a stormtorn pup tent and the mind-numbing pain of a thirty mile Tactical Advance to battle with shoulders torn by Bergen burns and webbing blisters and feet destroyed by trench foot. Not old enough to vote, nor buy alcohol, nor act as his own guarantor for a bank loan, yet old enough to die, bloody and torn, in a cold, distant land, for Queen and Empire. Publishers Kenton have faithfully reproduced every word, without the editorial censure that often denies the full truth and Eyles-Thomas tells it as it was and how it happened. It is a moving book, and a salute to all those brave youngsters who proved their worth when asked to charge with fixed bayonets on an Argentinean position bristling with .50 calibre machine guns – and those who died in the doing. I salute every one of them and Margaret Thatcher too. It was Britain’s and 3 Paras’ finest hour. Author: Publisher: Price: ISBN:

Mark Eyles-Thomas Kenton Publishing 20.80€ 978 0 9546223 2 9

Suduko Answer


19 - 25 APRIL 2013

The complete airport parking service at Low Cost Parking

LOW COST Parking Alicante Airport has flourished since its opening three and a half years ago. It was the first airport car parking in the area to offer a complete airport parking service – and every year since they began they have enhanced the service they provide. Now, whilst you are away, your car is given an exterior wash so on your return home your car is clean. You will also now receive a text to confirm your booking – a fast and effective way to let you know that your booking has been processed. These small gestures are there to make your life easier. Low Cost Parking pride itself on the fact that more than 10,000 customers have used their service and 95% of these customers have returned to use the service again. Those figures speak for themselves. To date Low Cost Parking has more than 500 annual

clients who have learnt that for less than 1€ per day (0’68€ on low-commuter contracts – 0’82€ on unlimited) you just can’t beat the service – a whole year’s parking worry free and a safe car totally insured. Low Cost Parking provides a 24-hour service: you arrive – they transfer you – no waiting – a 3 minute transfer and you are on your way. So from as little as 27.99€ per week – 1 year 279.95€ for unlimited transfers or 499.95€ for 2 years with upfront payment (249.95€ per year) – you can enjoy the Low Cost Parking experience and have peace of mind that your car is safe and you will have a professional, fast service to and from the airport. Call now and speak to one of our fully trained English-speaking staff: 966 442 883 / 663 395 339.

NEW CARS available to view in our showroom in CALPE 2010 FIAT LINEA1.4 DIESEL AUTOMATIC MULTIJET

slate met, climate, alloys, a/c, c/d, high spec

8995€ 2007 (NEW MODEL) PORSCHE CAYENNE S,auto,black met, with tan hide,very high spec,cost new 70k. €26995 2008 FORD FOCUS 1.6 AUTO. Denim blue met. Grey trim, a/c c/d, remote locking & e/w only 38k €9995 2010 FIAT LINEA1.4 DIESEL AUTOMATIC, MULTIJET, slate met, climate, alloys, a/c, c/d, high spec 8995€ 2002 BMW 325 CI CABRIO M SPORT. Black with grey leather sports seats,alloys, huge spec 8995€ 2010 SEAT IBIZA 1.4 5 DR. metallic black with grey trim, alloys, climate, c/d, low kms €8995 2003 BMW X5, 4.4 SE AUTO silver with black hide alloys, climate, remote locking full spec WAS 10,995€ NOW 8,995€ 2009 FORD FIESTA1.2 TREND, 5door, blue met, charcoal trim,a/c c/d,only35k, 7995€ 2003 VOLVO XC90 AWD AUTOMATIC 7 seater, silver with black hide, alloys, climate, hifi, roof rails, electric sunroof WAS 8,995€ NOW 7995€


2007 NEW MODEL SMART AUTOMATIC Ferrari edition met red & silver, with charcoal trim, A/C, alloys, CD, panoramic roof, low kms superb! WAS 7,995€ NOW 5995€ 2004 MAZDA MX5 CABRIO, magenta mica metallic, with black trim,c/d hi- fi,alloys,FSH, immaculate! €4995 2007 SUZUKI SWIFT 1.5glx 5dr silver with black trim, a/c, c/d, alloys, s/history, 4995€ 2005 MAZDA 6 TS2 2.0, 5 door hatch, blue met, with black trim, climate, alloys, cruise, BOSE hi-fi WAS 5,995€ NOW 4995€

2003 VOLVO XC90 AWD AUTOMATIC 7 seater, silver with black hide, alloys, climate, hifi, roof rails, electric sunroof.

Was 8,995€ now


2005 SUZUKI WAGON R+. 1.3 5 dr, sky blue met,with grey trim,a/c c/ d,s/h €3995 2003 VW GOLF,1.6 HATCH,black with charcoal trim, alloys, a/c, cruise, c/d hi-fi 3995€ 2000 RENAULT SCENIC1.6 AUTOMATIC, silver with grey trim,a/c, c/d, alloys, twin sunroofs,low km,s €2995

UK RIGHT HAND DRIVE 2004 MAZDA MX5 CABRIO magenta mica met,with black trim, c/d, hi-fi, alloys, FSH, immaculate! €4995 1999 MERCEDES ML,320 AUTO 7 SEATER denim blue met, grey leather, a/c €2995


Silver with black& red interior trim,electric roof, alloys a/c, c/d ,s/h,



2012 RENAULT TWIZY Only 6 months old, fully electric car, pearl white met, gull wing doors 6995€ 1998 MERCEDES SLK 200 CABRIO. Silver with black& red interior trim,electric roof, alloys a/c, c/d ,s/h, immaculate €5995

1.5glx 5dr silver with black trim, a/c, c/d, alloys, s/history



CASH FOR YOUR CAR Tel: 965 876 030 Mob: 699 034 138

19 - 25 APRIL 2013

Life cars

Tim Saunders Independent unbiased car reviewer

The ruler of small panel vans A FRIEND needs a broken cooker replacing immediately. I suggest repairing it but he says it costs more to repair than to replace. He is frustrated that only the four hobs on his Beko work and that an element for the grill and oven needs replacing at considerable expense, which isn’t justifiable. “Older cookers don’t have built in redundancy,” my cynical friend claims, “…like all new appliances, which are designed to fail so that the manufacturer and their supply chain continue to make money after the product has been sold.” Now, normally, I wouldn’t be able to help him because firstly I am no electrician and secondly even with the best will in the world a cooker will not fit in the back of my old Ford Fiesta. But this week I’m driving a shiny new Citroen Berlingo van with double doors at the rear and a helpful sliding door at the side as you can see in the video at So I suggest that we pop down to this reconditioning specialist I know not far from where I live and see what they can offer. He’s delighted because he was fretting about how he would transport a cooker if he found one. And he’s even happier when he learns that there are three seats in the Berlingo cabin, so his girlfriend can come along, too. Inside, the cabin is comfortable and, just like the exterior it is reminiscent of the Peugeot Partner van, that I tested a few weeks ago. Air conditioning, electric windows and a decent stereo all come as standard and the five speed manual gearbox is easy to use. The diesel engine is responsive and economical. Anyway, they find a cooker for under £100 and we take it away there and then. It’s fairly easy

for us to manoeuvre it into the back of the van, shoving it through the double doors on its back and then my friend opens the sliding door and jumps through to pull it into the rear. There’s a step inside the sliding door that makes getting into it fairly easy. “The Citroën Berlingo has ruled the small panel van market since it was launched in 1996,” says Parkers, the car experts, “…a market leader through virtue as well as value, the [second generation Berlingo introduced in 2008] offers a raft of improvements over the previous model, which make the arguments for choosing one even more compelling.

“Two body lengths are now available and many new features, including a collapsible passenger seat to increase load length for especially long items. The Ready-To-Run range includes factoryproduced specialist conversions including glasscarriers, dual-fuel LPG models and temperaturecontrolled vans.” Citroen Berlingo 1.6HDi diesel New price range: 15,211.33€ to 21,608.78€ Economy: over 50mpg Power: 90bhp Top speed: over 100mph

Advanced motorist Tim Saunders is the former Business and Motoring Editor of the Bournemouth Daily Echo. His regular test reports appear in numerous newspapers, magazines and websites throughout the UK, Ireland and Gibraltar. For more independent unbiased car reviews and videos visit



19 - 25 APRIL 2013

They’re out there already NOEL’S WORLD OF GOLF By Noel Eastwell Teaching Professional Alicante Golf 639 730 891

JUST OVER six weeks ago in Florida the major golf equipment manufacturers launched their 2013 range of golf clubs and balls etc. Last week I saw the first imitation Callaway Razr Fit Extreme driver imitation in the hands of someone who had purchased it in Thailand, understanding it was the real thing. The owner had paid what he thought was a bargain price for a genuine Callaway product and was told his purchase was from an appointed Callaway retailer and the product was guaranteed for twelve months against manufacturing faults that may occur during normal usage; a standard guarantee from a leading club manufacturer in fact. The man concerned is a client of mine and came along to get custom fitted for a matching set of irons and told me about a problem he was having with his new driver after it performed well in the first few games but not in the last two weeks or so and wanted my advice. He could not get the ball to fly any higher than head high and was really disappointed. Having expected me to put right what he thought was a swing fault I had really disappointing news for him as his bargain driver turned out to be an imitation.

When closely examined alongside the real thing the differences visually were obvious but the really worrying thing was the badges and paintwork to most people who had not seen a club that is still hard to get hold of here in Spain was really good at first glance. The clubhead was another matter as one could feel the difference in the weight distribution within the head when it was swung: it was remarkable that the club ever got the ball into the air at all. We all know that there are places in the Far East where these types of clubs are made and sold as the real thing. The problem on the face of it for the ordinary golfers is finding out who the genuine approved club retailers are but with a little research on the internet approved retailers are easily found who have the knowledge of the products they are selling and have undergone some form of training to sell the products that golfers part with hard-earned cash for. My advice to anyone who is thinking of buying golf clubs is to find an approved retailer via the correct channels and not just take the word of the sign placed outside many golf retailers’ doors. RTN readers can always take advantage of my knowledge free of charge

and I will point them in the right direction. Don’t part with your cash until you are sure you are purchasing the real thing from those who know something about what they are selling: a bargain that is too good to be true is often just that.

WIN A DOZEN SRIXON GOLF BALLS COURTESY OF GOLF MED Answer the question below correctly to have a chance to win. The winner of this fantastic prize will be picked at random at the end of each month. Send your entries by email to The decision of the editor of RTN will be final in making the winning selection. QUESTION FOR 19TH APRIL 2013 Who won the US Masters at Augusta National last week? All answers must be received no later than 5pm on 29th April to be entered into April’s draw, to be made on 29th April 2013. The winner will be announced in RTN on 3rd May 2013. To collect your prize you will have to come along to an RTN Golf Club day and meet with Noel Eastwell.

Any questions you have for Noel should be sent to - Free golf lesson for all new RTN Golf members! Sign up now, limited offer

The RTN Club Scene ONCE AGAIN last Tuesday RTN Golf Club attempted to tame the golf course at Alicante Golf as we played our monthly league match a week late due to the Easter holidays. Again the golf course turned out to be a real challenge as the excellent putting surfaces tested the wits of our members, a number of whom played for the first time with us during 2013. On hole three we saw the ultimate in embarrassment as one member attempted to hole out for a two and claim the jackpot in our two’s pot only to find the water with his putt. At this time for some reason the air turned rather blue and the ladies covered their ears. The best score of the day was 38 points from Natasha Woodhams who also scooped the two’s pot all for herself and won enough money to pay off some of the national debt. We had three members share second place: Peter Hasell, Heinz Rottwilm and Mick Vesey with a very creditable 35 points each, the places at the end being decided on the lower handicap rule. TAYLORMADE DEMO DAY FOR RTN GOLF CLUB MEMBERS On 25th April, we will stage another club fitting day at Alicante Golf where any member of RTN Golf Club can come along and be custom fitted for a set of clubs free of charge. Appointments may be booked to ensure you have an allocated time slot where we can get you in front of the top level computer equipment that will be provided by TaylorMade. Once you have been advised of the best specifications for you we will give you a form completed with the clubs we recommend and a price for you to purchase them. Priority will be given to members of RTN Golf Club for appointments. Last month we ran out of time to see everyone: to avoid disappointment please call Marife on 96 515 2043. DATES FOR YOUR DIARY 23rd April - RTN Weekly golf meeting at Alicante Golf 25th April - TaylorMade Demo Day at Alicante Golf: please reserve your spot to ensure you receive your free gift by calling call 96 515 2043 30th April - RTN Golf League meeting at Alicante Golf NOEL EASTWELL GOLF ACADEMY Quality group lesson available at Alicante Golf from just 10€ per person: contact Noel on 639 730 891 for more information.

19 - 25 april 2013


andrew james... The man in the middle Sponsored by “The Three Lions” (Carrer de Manuel de Falla, Albir) The Best Footy Bar on the Costa Blanca; Showing Every Game, Every Week!

Falcao-s about that!? According to Madrid-based newspaper Marca, Man United are in “advanced” talks with Atletico Madrid over Radamel Falcao and are the club “best positioned” to sign the Columbian striker in summer. Now, after reading the first few lines of the article, I just assumed that the story was tabloid gossip but the journalist went on to state that a down-payment had already been paid - a fact that’s been corroborated by several other sports writers since. Having done a little research though, apparently downpayments are fairly common, and it doesn’t necessarily guarantee the signing of the player. The payment basically acts as your “ante”, to be allowed into discussions when the player comes up for auction. Also, Sir Alex Ferguson himself dismissed the rumours earlier in the week so United fans should probably wait before they get

Six firsts for Torrevieja Masters

AT THE 50m Municipal Pool, Esperanza Lag in Elche on Sunday 14th April, three of the Torrevieja Masters team earned outstanding results. Competing in the 4th Time Control of the season Vicki Connolly, Beth Altabas and Gillian McNiece all gained first place in their age categories. The trio had all chosen one short sprint and one longer event. First up was Beth and Gillian in the 50m Backstroke. Beth first in the 65yrs + category with a time of 51:76 and Gillian first in the 35yrs + category (time 40:51). Vicki then followed in the 50m Breaststroke with a new personal best of 46:59 in the 45yrs + category and a new Valencian Regional record in a 50m pool. All three followed up their achievements in their second races with Gillian first in her 200m Backstroke (3:08:54). This was shortly followed with Beth and Vicki swimming the long 1500m Freestyle event. Both worked hard, earning first positions in their categories. Beth set a new Valencian Regional time of 28 minutes 25 seconds and Vicki a time of 24 minutes and 3 seconds, currently ranking both swimmers 1st and 4th in Spain for this year: Beth 1st in Spain and Vicki 4th in their respective age groups. For more information regarding Torrevieja Swimming Club please contact Rosa: 665 454 126 or President Felipe on 609 418 776 or by email on

their new hero printed on their shirts. But, if Fergie’s bluffing (surely not!?), and Marca’s theory comes to pass, it seems that the Scot is poised to keep the summer’s most sought-after transfer target away from his most serious rivals – a shrewd move on two fronts. Firstly, Robin Van Persie will turn 30 before a ball is kicked next season and, as his recent mini-slump suggests, United could use some reliable cover for the Dutchman. Some have suggested that Falcao’s arrival would signal the end of Wayne Rooney’s Old Trafford career but Rooney hasn’t operated as a true centre-forward for almost three years now and his selection at centre-mid against Stoke last week suggests he perhaps has a different future in the United first team. So the Reds’ pursuit of Falcao makes sense for footballing reasons. But there’s another reason Ferguson will be interested in the deadly Columbian; it’ll stop the likes of Man City and Chelsea getting him! In acquiring RVP from Arsenal last summer, Sir Alex took a player who’d scored 37 goals the season before, effectively scuppering any chance the London side had of contending for Premier League honours. But even more importantly, he kept the Dutchman away from City – a move that tipped the title scales in United’s favour from the very beginning. It seems to me therefore that Fergie learnt a valuable lesson last year and, if the rumours turn out to be true, it looks like

he’ll follow that same blueprint again this summer. Great Scott! Last weekend, Australian Adam Scott survived a suddendeath play-off to win The Masters and his win got me thinking that maybe golf’s one of those sports where losing may not altogether be a bad thing; it’s how you lose that counts. I say this because the Aussie blew a four-shot lead in the Open at Lytham last year, but he took it brilliantly, doing every interview with poise and grace after his collapse. Similar to Rory McIlroy since the 2011 Masters, Scott seems to have grown immensely from that experience, and even when his hopes were dashed by Angel Cabrera first time, he showed real guts and determination to dig out the win in the playoff. The golfing world loves a story of redemption and they certainly got one in Adam Scott. This Week in “The Lions”: Sat 20th Apr: Arsenal v Fulham (4pm) Any other 4pm kick-off upon request. Sun 21st Apr: Spurs v Man City (2.30pm) Liverpool v Chelsea (5pm) Mon 22nd Apr: Man United v Aston Villa (9pm) 22nd/23rd/24th: All Champions / Europa League Fixtures

Fishing Maggots End by

David Hoare 968 199 279

WITH WATER levels still well up in the rivers we again fished the Embalse de Pedrera. This week’s match was the last round of the Coast Rider Challenge Cup. The water level here is still rising at the same rate as last week, giving an increase of some three feet per month. The lower road going to Barbel alley will probably be underwater when you read this. Although Terry’s match was held here the day before, due to the rising water the pegging was well spread. Those who managed to draw a peg that had been fished the day before had a good day’s fishing as the weights will show. Clive, who won the match, fished a method called ‘the monkey’. This is fishing a length of line with only a hook attached on the pole. Hemp is then continually fired over the pole end and using tares as bait just wait for the pole to be ripped round by the ferocity of the Barbel. A note of caution: if you are trying this for the first time, ensure that the pole is strong enough and never let go of it! TOP RODS ON THE DAY 1st Clive (Golf no More) Cleghorn fishing the monkey using tares with 23.60 kilos 2nd Terry (Swing ‘Em) Screen fishing the feeder using maggot and tares with 21.40 kilos 3rd Mick (The Arsenal) Hill fishing the pole using corn with 17.86 kilos

COAST RIDER TROPHY OVERALL STANDINGS 1st Ian Dalzell with 21points 2nd Terry Screen with 22 points 3rd Clive Cleghorn with 23 points PLEASE NOTE The club has some vacancies at present: if you are interested in joining please contact Derek Swann on 96 672 9293 or 603 535 771. ABBEY ANGLING RESULTS: supplied by Terry Screen We fished the 3rd round of the Spring Series once again at the Embalsa de Pedrera 9th April, as most of the other venues are still flooded. The bridge between Benijofar and Rojales, which normally only holds a trickle of water through the gully, is flooded bank to bank with approximately four feet of water. The levels on the Pedrera have been dropping over the last couple of months, but rose about three inches during the match. Work has also broken out where the water runs into the lake and no one knows what is happening at the moment: we will have to wait and see what the outcome will be. Fishing has now begun to improve with the arrival of warmer weather and the best double weight figure so far

FC Torry news Torry played bottom of the table Catarroja last Saturday and earned a much needed 3-1 victory. The game was an entertaining affair with Torry just having the upper edge in a game which could have produced more goals with the opposition hitting the crossbar and Torry also through an

this year taken on hemp and tares. This week’s match also incorporated the Inter club Round Town News 5th round match which was won by Abbey Angling with 22 points and Rods & Reels with 20 points. With just one match left to fish Abbey are in the lead. 1st Ian (The Wizard) Dalzell with 16.780kg fishing the feeder and waggler using hemp and tares 2nd Bob (The Major) Rafferty with 11.880kg fishing the feeder using maggots 3rd Richard (The Lion heart) King with 11.420kg fishing the feeder using corn All details are available at or from the match secretary Terry Screen on 96 532 8368. Anglers Together THE OBJECTIVE of Anglers Together was to introduce anglers to each other, who otherwise had no one to fish with or didn’t know where to fish. It was successful in bringing together many anglers who established friendships and which continue to this day. No meetings are held now but information is still available via Tight lines… Dave Hoare

exquisite chip from Luis Carlos. Luis Carlos did find the net to put Torry ahead and their lead was doubled from a Dani freekick from the right which evaded everybody and curled into the far corner of the net. 2-0 to Torry at half-time. Catarroja pulled one back around the hour mark with a header from a corner but Torry responded almost immediately through a Gasch strike to restore Torry’s 2 goal advantage and that’s how it finished. Torry are at home at the Nelson Mandela on Sunday to 5th placed La Nucia in a 5.00 pm kick-off. Try to be there.

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PROTECTAPET Spains leading pet insurance provider. tel: 965 756 371 SMALL DOGS CARED FOR IN OUR OWN HOME So if you need to go away on holiday but don’t want your dog to go into kennels then we will look after them. References available. Tel: 965843781 Mob: 622514980 (Altea area Costa Blanca North) TRANS-PET We do regular, doorto-door journeys between the Costa Blanca and the UK.Our aim is to provide a professional, caring service for your pets.Boarding facilities for Cats and Dogs. This may be for an overnight stay or of longer durations.Tel:600-552-030/965960-658

FRED MULLEN Ex Post Office worker from East Belfast please ring 07730886526 STRICTLY SOCIAL CLUB Why not come and join us for an afternoon of entertainment, fun, quizzes and games. We also have speakers, and arrange meals out and coach outings. We meet on the top floor at The New Asturias Restaurant, Punta Prima between 2.30 p.m. and 5.00 p.m. on the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of each Month. Open to all age-groups. For more info call Margaret on 966 730 569 or Brian on 678 807 159. Looking forward to meeting you. “ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS - COSTA BLANCA Confidential Helpline, South 625 912 078, North 648 169 045.

Calle San Antonio 1, Jalon. Open 9.30/1.00 Mon- Sat. Stock needed - clothes, toys, misc. For more info. Tel: Jane 680 717 118

ALSTRAYS TRANSPORT SERVICES Monthly cat and dog transports between Spain, France, Germany, Holland, Belgium and the UK. DEFA certificate and license. Tel: 676 653 681

BOATING LICENSES NOW LEGAL REQUIREMENT IN SPAIN. Serenity Sailing RYA Training Centre, Competent Crew to Yachtmaster, VHF & ICC. Ownboat tuition on sail and power. If you have a yacht or powerboat get qualified and certified. Contact Richard 0034 638 056 224. enquiries@serenitysailing. com

MINI DIGGER FOR HIRE with operator Tel 679 542 665 KITCHENS, BATHROOMS, WARDROBES Classic Kitchens, 20 years on the Costa Blanca, call Adrian 676 699 700 JR CONSTRUCTION General Builders and Roofers Tel: 634 617 771


19 - 25 april 2013 the moves and routines to your pop idols! Call Louise on 655-781-068 for more information!

MR FIXIT For all your electrical, Plumbing, General & Appliance & Boiler repairs. No call out charge. 698 320 434 REPAIRS Washing machines, Dishwashers & Dryers. Also Boilers and any electrical problems. 24hours. Cheap prices Tel 626 805 709 PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL CLEANING SERVICE for your home or business at a fair price. Try us out so we can prove how good we are, book 2 hours and only pay for 1 on your first booking. References available. (Altea area) Tel: 965843781 or 622514980

ENTHUSIASTIC AGENTS NEEDED for Avon cosmetics. Meet people and turn spare time into cash. Phone Rosh 966 785 520

LAPTOP CLEAN HARD DRIVE Internet ready charger Microsoft Office 2007 DVD drive 100.00 Eur Good condition Torrevieja 693 956 707 BYTEBACK MICROS computer repairs/upgrades in your home. Qualified technician. Systems custom built. Whatever your problem call: 965-312-006 or 606-127-424

DO YOU NEED EXTRA HELP AT HOME? I can help you at home with light duties, cleaning, cooking, housework, shopping etc as a carer. References available. Altea, Benidorm, Alfaz del Pi area. Call Trisha for more information on 622 514 980 or 965 843 781

TAI CHI CLASSES and Stretch Flex & Tone classes . Effective exercises to make you look and feel good. Both starting Friday 3 May at Community Centre , Calle Aranjuez , Pueblo Suiz , El Galan ( nr Archers) Ring for further days and times 96 679 1077 email w.woodfine@ MOBILE BARBER For a friendly and reliable experienced Barber look no further 10€ All Cuts Phone Danny 634 342 975 LIGHTWEIGHT WHEELCHAIR Folding, immaculate.150 euro. Mobility scooter.40km range. Road legal. Hardly used.499 euro. 627 019 403 AT MICHAEL’S part exchange on certain beds when you buy a New bed from our New Bed shop in the Arenal. Photos: AT MICHAEL’S Several extra wide modern armchairs and recliners. See more than 600 photos: www. AT MICHAEL’S we specialize on very high quality pre-owned furniture for half price or less. www. Tel 96-579 1328 AT MICHAEL’S Beautiful very large American fridge/freezer with ware/ice dispenser and a “Minibar”! Photos on: MICHAEL’S 30 YEARS IN JAVEA ENSURES YOUR SATISFACTION! We sell high quality pre owned furniture, many from show apartments etc. Look at: www. Tlf: 965-791-328.

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MOBILE/PARK HOMES FROM 15,000 € Fully furnished ready to move into, Camping Pueblo San Javier. Also homes & plots for rent. Carol 96 819 24 25 Mob. 626 055 622

LADIES DANCEFIT WITH L.A DANCE at 4kwatro in Albir, Mondays at 7.30pm, call Louise on 655 781 068 for more information TAPPY TOES DANCE CLASS FOR BABIES from 18 months, at 4kwatro in Albir, 11am, call Louise on 655 781 068 for more information. LA BAMBA’S - BALLROOM / LATIN / SEQUENCE DANCING Los Rosales Restaurant, Guardamar CV895 [near Lemon Tree Sunday Market] Monday - Social Dance 8.30pm - 10.30pm [Sequence class 7.30pm - 8.30pm] Friday - Social Dance 7.30pm - 10.30pm Wednesday - New Beginners Class 2pm -3pm Improvers Class 3pm - 4pm Intermediate Class 4pm - 5pm For more information contact Andrea and Brian 616 478 157 FUNKY FREESTYLE DANCE with Louise, every Saturday morning at 4kwatro in Albir, come and learn all

ALEXANDERS ANTIQUE JEWELLERS pay Top London prices, Est. 2003. Open Mon-Sat, 10am - 2pm. Javea Port seafront. Tel: 965 792 595 / 667 270 969

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GOLD WANTED English Jeweller wishes to buy broken or unwanted Gold and Silver jewellery & coins for cash. Call for an appointment. Peter (7 days) 664 890 990. Member of the Nat. ASSN of Goldsmiths

19 - 25 april 2013 grills, hinges etc., repaired or new. No job too small. Fast service. Low prices. Free Quotes. Call Terry: 966 845 414 / 625 995 470


LOOKING FOR A CAR? We have over 75 LHD and RHD vehicles in stock for sale or exchange. We have a good selection of vehicles to clear from only 800€ Tel Frank 600726221/965687976

and Walnut facias finished in metallic silver, stunning example. Must be seen to appreciate. 9,950€. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 RENAULT MEGANE 1.5 DIESEL 1998, old but reliable, ITV till 2014, 1500€ Tel: 965 796 668

ADVICE WITH THE SPANISH SYSTEM Whatever you need to integrate into the spanish system, we can help you. NIE, residencia, empadronamiento, car import transfer, driving license transfer, schools, doctors, social security.(Benidorm and surrounding areas) Tel: 619 269 408 email: pammcmurchie@ ADVISORY SERVICE Need advice on making a will, buying or selling property, tax, resident or non resident, starting a business in spain, we can talk you through and give you the best advice and help you settle in spain. (Benidorm and surrounding areas) Tel: 610 634 506

TAI CHI CLASSES and Stretch Flex & Tone classes . Effective exercises to make you look and feel good Both starting Friday 3 May at Community Centre , Calle Aranjuez , Pueblo Suiz , El Galan ( nr Archers) Ring for further days and times 96 679 1077 email w.woodfine@

GOING HOME? BMW 235i Auto Tiptronic Saloon, 2008, 108,000 miles, Full BMW Service History, Dual climate, alloys, cruise control, stunning car, finished in dark metallic grey and full cream leather. 10,750€ for sale or exchange. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 OPEL ZAFIRA 7 SEATER 1.8 16 valve Elegance, Top Spec, 2004, 88,000kms, 2 owners, fully serviced, alloys, AC, front fogs, roof rails, rear luggage cover and much more, metallic silver, super condition throughout. 6,250€. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 FORD KA 1.3TDCI, 2010 CURRENT MODEL 1 owner, 38,000kms, FSH, alloys, AC, CD, front fogs, light red. 7,450€. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 FORD STREETKA CONVERTIBLE 2003 UK reg, RHD, A/C, alloy wheels, all electrics, silver, full leather, full service history, mileage 76000 miles. Lovely summer car. Quick sale needed, 2495€ ONO. Call 966 443 415 SEAT IBIZA 5 DOOR HATCHBACK 1.4 STYLE 2009, 1 owner, 77,000kms, FSH, alloys, AC, CD, front fogs, metallic black. 7,450€. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 MERCEDES E500 AUTO TIPTRONIC AVANT GARDE 2003, 2 owners, 82,000kms, FSH, cruise control, navigation, CD/DVD, airmatic suspension, Parktronic, Dual climate, alloys, twin panoramic sunroofs, electric memory seats, keyless entry/start, front headlamp wash, full vented charcoal leather

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19 - 25 april 2013

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scientious service to the highest standards. Refurbishments and upgrades undertaken. Replacement pumps, filters, salt systems, ph regulators and accessories supplied and installed. All work guaranteed. British trained in the UK pool industry with over 18 years experience. 10 years served on the Costa Blanca. Torrevieja and surrounding areas including Costa Calida. Tlf:- Pristine Pools on 966-774-199 or 678-080-500 NO CALLOUT CHARGE

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SUPERB RESTORED FINCA in fabulous mountain location within 10km Benissa/Calpe Tel: 626 897 041. Offers around 450,000€ HOUSE FOR SALE in quiet area of Torreta 2. 55,000€. Convenient location, close to all amenties. Phone 646 436 088 for more details MORAIRA TOWN CENTRE beautiful well furnished apartment. Air conditioning, garage. 335,000€. Tel: 965 748 390 MOBILE/PARK HOME 2 bedrooms en-suite fully fitted. Camping Pueblo San Javier 22,000€. Carol 96 819 24 25 Mob 626 055 622. SELLING YOUR HOUSE? Sold your house? Moving funds back to the UK? Don’t let your Spanish Bank take up to 1% of your sale price, Talk to MoneyCorp now about how to save up to 4,500€* Moneycorp’s repatriation service can help you drastically reduce or even eliminate Spanish bank fees when sending your property sale proceeds back to the UK. Call Moneycorp +34 902 887 243 and quote RTN to get more out of your money. www. 3 BED APARTMENT ALTEA LA VELLA 110m squared, 3 double bedrooms - 2 with patio doors and balconies and mountain views, 1 bathroom, 1 shower room, separate fully fitted kitchen, large living room with 2 patio doors onto large terrace with mountain views and open views onto orange groves, large trastero and private parking space. Central village location. 1 min walk to supermarket, bars, restaurants, pharmacy, bus stop. 2 mins to AP7 motorway. Private sale. 170,000€. Tel: 617 893 036 or email:

PARK HOMES 2 BEDROOMS Both en-suite fully fitted. Camping Pueblo San Javier. Carol Tel 96 819 24 25 Mob. 626 055 6622 Email. Haydn47@ LONG LETS - HOLIDAYS Best Price Rentals Paul 966785891 659647616 www. 2 OR 3 BED / 2 BATH APARTMENTS in San Miguel. Lift, communal rooftop pool & solarium, video entry system. Available for short or long term rent from 350pcm. 96 672 3437 or 636615716 FOR RENT/SALE 350€PCM 85.000€ Classic Spanish Old Town House, 3 double bedrooms (1 with en-suite bathroom) master bathroom, modern kitchen, downstairs toilet, sun terrace with view of mountains, BBQ terrace with summer kitchen, recentley refurbished and fully furnished. Callosa de en Seria near La Nucia. Tel: 609 177 032

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RTN South Edition 705  
RTN South Edition 705  

RTN South Edition 705