28 May - 03 june 2010
24
Doing the Edward-Cokey, now that’s what it’s all about...
HAVE YOU heard the saying, ‘An Englishman’s home is his castle?’ It’s the derivation of Sir Edward Coke’s: “The house of everyone is to him as his castle and fortress, as well for his defence against injury and violence, as for his repose.” I actually prefer Sir Ed’s 1604 original By quotation to our modern take of it. And Watts this week, the new Cameron/Clegg ConLib, Lib-Con administration started the long process of reinstating that very concept as they began unpicking some of the 1,043 hideous Blair/Brown laws that allow state inspectors to enter our homes. Do you know that inspectors can breach the sanctity of your ‘castle and fortress’ and upset your ‘repose’ if they have a sneaky feeling that you may be hoarding ‘undeclared carbon dioxide’? I kid you not. “Oh, do come this way, officer - I think it’s just my brother over from Australia - he had a rather spicy curry last night…” The clipboard-brigade currently has ‘powers of entry’ to check for such outrages as housing unlicensed kangaroos; or they can burst in at a moment’s notice and seize any wayward fridges without the correct energy rating. “’Ere Burt, this Electrolux looks woefully overrated.” I wonder if they get upset if you’re using a 13 tog bedcover in the summertime? “Come along quietly Madam, your duvet tog ain’t the correct rating...” The faceless state inspectors can spoil your ‘repose’ at any time to check that accommodation given to asylum seekers isn’t being used by non-asylum seekers and they can march in and survey your home and garden to see if your hedge is too high. If you have a bunch of mates around one night for a session of Texas Holdem, don’t be surprised if
Watts In Britain Paul
a bunch of jobsworths from city hall come calling; they can raid your house to check if unlicensed gambling is taking place. Did you know that under the Plant Health England Order 2005, inspectors can invade your home to see if your pot plants have pests or do not have a ‘plant passport’? Plant passport… hmmm… I wonder if you have to have a photograph in a plant-passport? “Sorry, mate, this photo ain’t no good, yer plant appears to be grinning.” Other pretexts for state-invaders include checking for unlicensed hypnotism and to see if dancing bears are present. Oh gawd, I better tell Cathy down at the Brewer’s Arms to hide Yogi and Boo Boo out in the backyard! Since 1997, or Year One of Tony’s New Era (remember that), hundreds of new laws over and above those that allow these state-sponsored intruders into your house have been introduced. At a conservative estimate (or should that be a con-lib estimate) at least one new law was introduced every day by New Labour during its thirteen years of office. Every day! That’s one times thirteen times three hundred and sixty five (and a couple of extra for leap years for the pedants). Gosh, quite a lot… To begin just looking at repealing some of those laws is going to be a massive task. Hopefully, many of the surveillance and nanny-state laws will be reversed. In the course of going about my lawful business yesterday, I could, near as damn, be sure of having my image recorded at least two hundred and fifty times. I know, not a pretty thought. Already, plans for the odious identity card have been scrapped and
Sir Edward Coke
I guess there will be a pruning back of the many tax payer sponsored quangos. But undoubtedly, there will be fraught times ahead and we must gird ourselves for the upcoming and probably painful ‘emergency budget’. The initial round of savings were announced on Monday; and today (Tuesday) is the Queen’s Speech. Hopefully, the Tax Payers’ Alliance ‘debt-clock’ that we featured two weeks ago will slowly start to show a winding down. The Economist wrote last week that Cameron and Clegg “… are both sensible, pragmatic types; if anyone can make this work, they can.” Let’s hope they’re right. The trouble with any government with a massive majority, like the one ole Tony had, is that balance is lost and almost any loony plan can get passed. Simplistic thinking? Probably, but I refer again to the Economist’s leader
which opined: “The best possible outcome given the ropey electoral numbers has emerged: a formal coalition to implement an agreed agenda containing much of the best in each party’s manifesto. We welcome it.” Hmmm, couldn’t have put it better myself. What I also welcome too, hopefully, is the gradual return to the concept of common-sense and the end of such stories as the Mad Mid Sussex Council dustbin spies; and their over-expensive university study into which foods people waste. The end of the likes of Exeter Council peering over high walls and frightening old ladies and of spying on their communities with cameras hidden in tin cans etc. And perhaps a return to the sentiment of Sir Eddie Coke, where everyone’s home is their castle. Watts in Britain, happy repose, folks.