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10 - 16 august 2012

Pet in tug of love by Jack Troughton BROKEN-HEARTED TEENAGERS Tiffany and Yasmin Kelleway are appealing for their grandmother to allow their dog to leave Spain and be reunited with his family in the UK. The tearful sisters are baffled over their older relation’s stubborn refusal to let Hector leave the Costa Blanca and travel to England to join the family in Loughborough. They returned home a year ago with their other pet Blue, a Great Dane, but Hector was unable to travel because of an error in his documents, and after a time in kennels, entrusted to their grandmother’s care. A specialised animal transport company has been paid for his journey but the dog remains at the grandmother’s home just outside Orba. And family friend Susan Wright has attempted to negotiate between both sides but failed to convince Gillian Kelleway she should release the Dalmatian from the ‘dognap’ situation. Yesterday (Thursday) Gillian told RTN she did not know what the girls were talking about. “I do not understand because my son gave him to me – I have had him since before Christmas.” But the girls said they were distressed and upset by the whole “sad, sad story” after dad Anthony found a new job in the UK, allowing them the opportunity to become elite athletes at Loughborough College.


PROBLEM Tiffany, 17, said Hector first went into kennels in Jalon while waiting the correct paperwork. “We were looking forward to having him home for Christmas but then there was another problem with the transport.” She said the kennels could not keep Hector any longer and they decided he should stay

with friends but her grandmother volunteered to look after him “She said that way we would know he was in good hands – we thought it was a great idea and everything would be OK.” Tiffany said the journey to the UK was cancelled again. “Gran said ‘don’t worry’ and Hector was a good dog and it would be

a shame to see him go but everything still seemed perfect.” Three weeks ago, she said her father rang Gillian. “When I came home he said Gran said we couldn’t have him back because we had abandoned him. It was extremely upsetting – I was shocked and very upset. Continued on page 3


10 - 16 august 2012

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Continued from front page “I told my sister – she was crying, I was crying and mum was crying – she is our grandmother and you wouldn’t think anyone would do this – especially not someone in your own family. “She won’t speak to me now; she will not pick up the ‘phone. Dad had a call saying the dog was abandoned in the street and we couldn’t have him and everything kicked off.” READY And 16-year-old Yasmin said when they first returned to the UK ‘Nan’ said Hector was fine and ready to come back. “She said he was a lovely dog and I spoke to him down the ‘phone...she said he was being really good.” She said it was hoped as a surprise Hector would be back with them after she finished her school exams. “But then I heard of this awful situation – she told dad we couldn’t have him because we had abandoned him. It is all so upsetting.” Susan told RTN she had so far failed to win Hector’s release and believed Gillian was being vindictive - often launching into a tirade of abuse on the ‘phone. And Susan alleged Gillian was also demanding 2,000€ in for the return of the dog. “She is making out she has emails sent from her son Anthony allowing her to keep the dog. She has said ‘I have looked after him all this time and if you want him you must pay for him’. “The family does not have that sort of money and it should not even be an issue – she is their grandmother. I think she is being very vindictive and conHector stantly lying – she knew the whole time Hector would be going.” with Susan added: “This has become a family tug of war and Gillian is desperate Blue and not to give in while the girls are absolutely distraught.” Tiffany

Travellers warned to watch out for fake cops SPANISH POLICE are warning travellers to beware of criminals posing as police officers in order to intimidate and steal cash and valuables on the roads. So far cases have occurred at service areas on the A1, A2, A4 and the Madrid M40 ring road. The culprits wear police uniforms that are not particularly convincing and they are usually Arabs or South American. The police advise ringing 062 to report any suspicious behaviour and ask for as many details as possible relating to description of the offenders and their vehicles along with their location.

Teenager stabbed By Jack Troughton A TEENAGER stabbed outside a Benidorm bar on Sunday afternoon has been discharged from hospital despite receiving wounds to his stomach, back and legs. The 17-year-old Irish youth was attacked by a group of men at the Monsoon Bar in Calle Juan Fuster Zaragoza, a quiet tree-lined street linking the Rincon with the Sunday outdoor market. People ran into the

street from neighbouring bars and cafes after hearing the commotion. One told RTN: “I heard the sound of glasses being smashed and furniture being thrown about, there was quite a row going on”. Police, who arrested a 33-yearold Algerian man but released the suspect on Wednesday, are investigating the possibility the attack was a ‘tit for tat’ crime after a Moroccan man was beaten up in The

Square in Benidorm’s English Quarter on Saturday night. The 25-year-old North African is recovering in hospital and four men and a woman aged 17 to 47, and all said to be Irish holidaymakers, were arrested over the assault. According to witnesses he was handing out flyers at bars in the area when he was attacked and kicked, punched, and struck with chairs, an ashtray and a bottle.


10 - 16 august 2012

Robin Hood alive and well and looting in Spain

Robin Hood (far right) and his gang at their Osuna hideout

by Jan Gamm THE SPANISH government issued arrest warrants on Wednesday on left-wing activists looting supermarkets and filling trolleys with food to give to the needy in the recession. The Interior Ministry issued a warrant to include the group leader, Juan Manuel Sanchez Gordillo, a member of the regional parliament for the United Left party in Andalucia in southern Spain. So far the group has raided two supermarkets in Andalucia, where the failed construction industry and resulting recession has brought the community to its knees with an unemployment rate approaching 34%.

The ‘outlaws’ rob the rich and give to the poor by filling trolleys with packets of food such as pasta, oil and biscuits from wealthy food chains to give out to those who do not have enough money to eat due to the economic crisis. The arrest warrants were issued following a complaint from supermarket giant Mercadona. Pending execution of the warrant, Sanchez has battened down the hatches in a building owned by the national defence ministry in Osuna, near Seville: he and labour union activists have occupied the building for the past fortnight.

The forties return to the Costa Blanca! THE COSTA Blanca is steeling itself for sizzling August temperatures to exceed 40º this weekend in the second heat wave of the year. Meteorological office AEMET has confirmed that a deep storm affecting part of the Atlantic off the Portuguese coast ‘sucks’ hot air from the subtropics and Africa and moves over the peninsula and the Canary Islands. Residents and tourists are advised to take sensible precautions to deal with the extreme heat such as taking plenty of fluids (not alcohol) and wearing a hat and protective clothing in direct sunlight.

Wand waving time By Jack Troughton PEOPLE WANTING to nominate a person for a chance of making a dream come true in the first full-blown Grant A Wish have another two weeks. The deadline is 24th August before the panel of judges sit down, study the piles of entries, and pick a worthy winner. Partners Continental Wealth Management, foreign exchange specialist Moneycorp, and RTN are ready to give someone a little life-changing experience every three months. The aim is to wave a magic wand and put a smile on someone’s face – while sharing the feel-good factor amongst the readers of RTN – a modern day Jim’ll Fix It. And Grant A Wish is open to everyone. There is no hidden catch and only a fairy godmother will call to whisk away the winner for a date with destiny. Last month

Suzi Frost was treated to a well-deserved mini-wish – treated to a luxury make-over day - after being nominated by big-hearted husband Ron. STRUGGLE He said the couple had struggled ever since buying a “disastrous” villa in Moraira and said Suzi had been left exhausted and suffering shingles after a long struggle to repair the building. And Suzi enjoyed every minute of the treat – heading home with a smile on her face, looking a million dollars, and armed with a bottle of bubbly for her and Ron to enjoy. Back at Grant A Wish headquarters, the nominations have been piling up but everyone will be considered individually and there is still time to submit an entry. Two of the latest people nominated are a businesswoman struggling to keep things going and a woman who has had a battle with cancer – both said to be in need of a little Grant A Wish magic. Nominating someone worthy of winning a life-changing experience could not be easier – simply email grantawish@, tell the judges their story and why they should have a dream come true and include your name and a contact telephone number. The nomination must be submitted by the 24th August deadline.

Council visits circus

10 - 16 august 2012

A FLOOD of complaints about a travelling circus triggered a visit to Circo Americano by Calpe Mayor Cesar Sanchez and his government team.

Elephants enjoy the shade

by Jack Troughton The circus has been on land off Avenida Ejercitos Espanoles, near the salt wetland Las Salinas, for a fortnight and the town hall received complaints about where animals were stabled and vehicles parked. Circo Americano does have a Ministry of Agriculture licence for the animals – including elephants, camels and a rhino – and coun-

cillors agreed they were well fed, in clean pens and were regularly hosed down in the heat. However, the whole site was described as a “big lorry park” as narrow roads were congested with trucks, trailers and caravans. The town hall hopes to keep the site much tidier next year to avoid future problems and said the circus was keen to co-operate.



10 - 16 august 2012

Still in love with Benidorm by Louise Clarke

THE BRITS’ love affair with Benidorm continues and expats and holidaymakers rushed to defend Spain’s most famous resort after a national newspaper claimed it was on its knees. The Sun’s error-filled feature headed ‘Benidoom’ sparked angry responses – published at the height of the holiday season when the town was packed with visitors. Government statistics show foreigners – and particularly British tourists – are still flocking to the town and it was holding its own despite Spain’s financial worries and concerns about street crime in some areas. Many people contacted RTN’s website or left comments on blogs calling for an apology from the Sun – many suggesting its reporter may have enjoyed too much of the resort’s traditional hospitality.

Eddie Perkins wrote: “This guy really should have gone to Specsavers...we have had the best British tourism this year....he should have spent more time on the streets rather than in the bars.” Dave Counsell said he had visited Benidorm four times since 2007 and loved it – bringing his wife and baby on the last two trips. FANTASTIC “It is a fantastic resort for all sorts of holidays as long as you go to the right hotel or bars. Levante Beach, which is the beach frequented by most of the British tourists, has a long prom which has Brits, locals and other tourists walking up and down from breakfast time until after dusk,” he said. “All inclusive has affected the resort but

Renfe on track for private investment

RENFE COULD invite private investment next year as part of the budget plan for 2013 and 2014 submitted to Brussels. The Spanish government has outlined the reorganisation of rail network Renfe into four companies, responsible for passenger services; freight and logistics; manufacturing and maintenance respectively, effective from July 2013. The goal would be to provide saving of €405 million throughout 2013 and 2014, with a number of public services taken over by private operators.

Late afternoon at the everpopular Tiki Beach bar

this is partly to do with the current economic status. People cannot afford to go out and about and like the security of knowing they don’t need to spend any more money.” And Adele Hudson said she had visited the resort for 18 years and sometimes four times a year. “Don’t worry Benidorm, you are still the best”. Kath Chamberlain emailed The Sun and

RTN pointing out inaccuracies in its report and said she was still waiting for a reply from the tabloid. She told The Sun: “Next time you wish to visit Benidorm with a story in mind, please contact me first and I will show you the real Benidorm and stop trying to hurt the tourism here and the many bars who work hard to give tourists what they want.”

New roads for Entrenaranjos

By Louise Clarke AFTER YEARS of waiting, the Entrenaranjos urbanisation has finally had its roads asphalted. The estate of houses, which is located between Bigastro and San Miguel de Salinas and is within the Orihuela municipality, is home to more than 1,200 residents; the majority of whom are British expats. The Councillor for Planning, Antonio Zapata, said that the works had been made possible after he had contacted the developers and demanded that they finished off the urbanisation’s

roads and pavements and installed road signs. Up until the last few weeks, residents have had to put up with raised manhole covers and uneven pavements. Socialist Zapata told RTN: “Ever since we came into power, residents from the urbanisation have been coming into our office to demand that the roads and pavements be finished and we are happy that at long last, they have been.” The developers were told that they had to finish the work of the urbanisation under trademark law,

since the development was still not adopted by the Town Hall and had been built for nearly a decade. “The company went to work,” commented Zapata, “and now everything is almost done.” The Councillor has even reached a solution with the developers to build a wastewater treatment plant and as soon as that is built, the urbanisation of Entrenaranjos, which includes Laguna Green, will be adopted by the Town Hall and habitation certificates can be issued to property owners.


Digging up the past 10 - 16 august 2012

by Jack Troughton STUDENTS FROM across Europe have joined archaeologists to provide much needed manpower at a Costa Blanca excavation. The volunteers are helping at the Queen’s Baths in Calpe – once an important Roman settlement and trading post, and also the home of one of the first Christian churches in the region. Calpe Mayor Cesar Sanchez took Minister of Social Welfare and Justice Jorge Cabre to the site this week and introduced the politician to the 25 young volunteers – 13 from various regions across Spain and 12 from the UK, Germany, France, Turkey and Armenia. Mr Cabre said across Valencia there were eight projects this summer involving 185 young people, mainly university students, aged between 18 and 26-years-old.

Market moves

CALPE’S TRADITIONAL Saturday morning market is moving back to the Old Town after the completion of road works. From Saturday 18th August, the market will return to its normal home in Avenida Norte and surrounding streets – a move welcomed by local businesses.

He said the experience helped promote tolerance and respect between nationalities while teaching volunteers Spain’s heritage. “It is not only a good way to use the summer holidays but also an opportunity for our youth.” HEAT It is the 15th annual dig at the Queen’s Baths and the volunteers are currently engaged in excavating the Roman villa’s heating system. However, the mayor is keen the whole of the remains win protection and become a tourist attraction to help boost jobs and the economy. Councillor Carole Saunders explained: “The mayor wants to show the importance of the Queen’s Baths to as many politicians and officials as possible to help funding of the ex-

Part of the Roman villa

cavations. “In the long term, the idea is to preserve them for future generations because the area

is actually privately owned and it is a matter of trying to work out a solution and how to pay compensation to the owners.”

Can You Help? U3A and Ironart Gata Charity Market THE U3A in Denia has ‘adopted’ the children’s home Casa de las Menores, Las Rotas, as an excellent and deserving cause. The home is a residential facility for 20 kids in care aged 4 – 15 years with five more in day care. With the help of generous local businesses the U3A collect donated games and toys so the children’s Christmas is as memorable as possible and since February volunteers have redecorated the communal rooms at the home and also all 15 of the children’s bedrooms. The Ayuntamente de Dénia and Marina Color provided some of the paint to help the decorating team.

In addition, an above ground pool was purchased to keep the kids cool through the summer. On Saturday 18th August there will be a Charity Market at Ironart in Gata to help support the U3A in their efforts. U3A members and local companies have made generous donations, including a 500€ donation from the Javea Masons. The next project is to take children on a ‘family’ outing to somewhere like Mundomar or Aqualandia and also to fund a handrail which is urgently required in the home to ensure the children safely navigate the stairs! Can YOU help? Call 616 367 746.



10 - 16 august 2012

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letter of the week

Don’t be foolish

SO COMMUNIDAD Valencia wants a bailout of €3.5 billion from Central Government in Madrid. After ignoring Madrid with regard to LRAU and LRU policies which soured house purchasers on the Costa, ignoring EU directives to ‘lay off’ on their headlong dash into oblivion, CVal wants help. The traditional culture of corruption hasn’t helped either. Should Madrid be fool enough to grant such a bailout you can be sure that half will be used as bribes and the rest will somehow disappear into the pockets of (some) local mayors to pay for their legal expenses in the ‘Brugal’ enquiry - coming to a courthouse near you in 2046 (or maybe later). Ian Royle, Manchester

Short changed WHEN ARE we going to get weights and measures in Benidorm? There are a plethora of bars in Benidorm advertising a pint at 1.50€ and serving it in 400mltr glasses: when you understand that a pint is a little over 568mltrs a Benidorm pint costs 2.13€ per pint. To avoid this rip-off look at the glasses on the tables of customers (nearly said mugs) who are drinking in other the establishments and walk on by. Whilst I appreciate the volumes in short measures are larger than back in the UK it is still a dishonest ploy. Just search out the honest bars that use British pint measure glasses and give them your trade. Usually they are quite easy to spot as they usually serve in branded glasses. Other resorts are culpable too. Graham E Johnson

Bargains at Costa Blanca Cancer shops THE STAFF at the Costa Blanca Cancer Research shops would like to thank all their customers for their valuable support and donations. At the end of August the new Albir shop opposite Albir Gardens has been open for six months so to celebrate, all clothes purchased throughout August are three for the price of two! Vest tops are only 1€, shoes from 1€ and loads ore bargains. If you can’t get to Albir, the shop in Alfaz del Pi on the main Avenida carries the same offers. Also available are TV’s, DVD’s, lamps, pots, pans and jewellery… We still need your donations: if you can’t deliver, collections can be arranged. Tel: Howard 620 552 372. Let’s make this an Olympian year for the fight against cancer! Costa Blanca Cancer Research: hand in hand with AECC and MABS.

Disappointed IT WAS a good idea to incorporate details of the fiscal status of the owner onto the medical card but it does not go far enough. I’m disappointed that the tax office in Spain has lost its chance to help the economy. At present if someone is a resident, but not declaring their income in Spain, the only disadvantage to them is that they will not be able to claim money back on their prescriptions if they are charged more than the capped amount according to their income -often a small amount which isn’t worth the complicated procedure of claiming back anyway. Surely, those who are not in the Spanish tax system

and declaring their income in Spain, but living here permanently, should be made to pay the total cost of their prescriptions plus any treatment received. After all, we are told by the DWP that we are entitled to the same treatment as a Spanish National, and every Spanish National is registered on the Spanish tax system! This move would send them scuttling to the nearest tax accountant, clutching their FD9 forms! Spain would benefit from the extra money, and it would flush out those who still don’t accept that it is their legal responsibility, not their right or choice, to declare all their income (except crown pensions) in Spain. The Hacienda has obviously missed a trick here! I think I’ll write to them and sow the seed! Name withheld

Congratulations are due

ENJOYED A fabulous Sunday walk to El Faro with some Spanish friends from El Mancha (Don Quixote country). It was not until I got home did I realise what was so ‘right’ about the walk: not one single pile of dog mess anywhere! So unlike the past which had kept me away for years, so bad was the problem. To whom are the congratulations due? Dog owners? Or Alfaz Ayuntamiento for ‘laying down the law?’ Mr Williams

A bin too far

10 - 16 august 2012

SUMMER’S HERE and youngsters are out in the open air getting into the party spirit – as this Sunday morning photograph illustrates.


by Jack Troughton Known as ‘botellon’, hundreds of teenagers gather in streets and parks of big cities in the evening to drink, often a huge problem for the authorities. In smaller communities, the

numbers are tiny in comparison – but young people are still hanging around and quaffing alcohol, and the tell tale litter is much the same...even with an empty bin at hand.

Government threatens consumer association with shutdown

THE HEALTH and Consumers Ministry has demanded that consumer association FACUA stop its campaign against spending cuts with threats to exclude them from the registry of users associations if they fail to do so within five days: FACUA’s web-based campaign includes protests against rises in electricity tariffs, health cuts and other consumer issues (See FACUA has responded to the government’s demand by making a formal allegation of a blatant attack by the government on the democratic process and calling an extraordinary meeting of the board on 13th AuFACUA gust with the intention of liaising with other consumer, spokesman social and political organisations, both nationally and Ruben at international level. Sanchez



10 - 16 august 2012

Pitfalls of renting property EXPATS RENTING out property to holidaymakers were warned this week they could face huge fines if they fail to comply with Spanish law. by Jack Troughton The rental market is booming but the British Embassy said there have been a number of cases where homeowners have been fined up to 30,000€ for failing to have the correct permits. And as a result the embassy has published advice on the website UKinSpain for would-be landlords who either rent out property or are considering doing so. A spokesman said for short term lets, either tourist apartments or holiday homes, the regulations varied across different regions but if owners were planning to make a financial return by renting an existing property or buying a property to let, they were advised to seek independent legal advice and check licensing laws at the town hall. He said: “In some areas the authorities are cracking down on homeowners who rent out their properties to tourists, particularly through online adverts, without complying with Spanish law.” PROHIBIT Homeowners should also check that if the property is part of a ‘communidad de propietarios’ – a com-

mittee of owners responsible for the management of community areas of apartments and complexes – there were no rules prohibiting or restricting short-term letting. Generally for long-term lets, the spokesman said there was no need for a special licence but it was still worth seeking professional advice to make sure the rental complied with the law and owners used the correct contract. An ‘arriendos de vivienda’ was a contract for a minimum of five years

Calls to defend Spain’s future

By Louise Clarke THOUSANDS OF leaflets have been distributed to passengers arriving at Alicante Airport this week calling for people to defend the future of Spain. The leaflets, in both Spanish and English, state that the economic and social situation in this country is deteriorating by the day and calls upon everyone to defend its future by supporting a national protest in Madrid on 15th September. “They want to ruin our country,” the leaflet states, adding that the EU has placed a rope around the neck of Spain and its government, led by Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy. The leaflet also accuses the ruling Partido Popular (PP) of “demolishing the labour law and impoverishing the lives of the majority of wage earners and pensioners of the country.” It is estimated that by the end of the year, more than six million people in Spain will be unemployed; many of whom will be between the ages of 18 and 24. The leaflet then goes on to accuse the central government of denying the present and the future of the country’s youth and being hostile towards immigration as well as spoiling public services such as education and health. The ‘Social Summit’, which is made up of a collection of unions, associations, organisations and groups of people from all over the social spectrum, will be meeting in Valencia on 4th September and Renting will then take its protest to Madrid where it will be joined with other like minded people from all over the country. The aim of your property the Madrid protest is to voice the concerns of every day working and an ‘arriendos de temporada’ was people and organisers will also be demanding a referendum on the for a year or less. Copies are available financial reforms proposed by Rajoy’s government. from tobacconists. And the spokesman warned: “Owners of properties should also be aware LOCAL POLICE arrested 13 illegal street vendors on Saturday in Alicante, that whether or not they are resident ten in Playa de San Juan and three on the Albufereta beach, all after 11pm. in Spain, they need to declare rental The raid was a routine procedure according to the city’s Department of income to the Spanish tax authorities. Safety. However, witnesses report that the Playa de San Juan raid was Homeowners may wish to seek advice carried out with unnecessary force and aggression on the part of the police officers involved, deploying 10 police cars, five motorcycles and quad from a professional tax advisor.” He said it was also worth considering bikes on the sand. Those arrested were pinned to the ground, threatened using a Spanish-based letting agent to with batons and forcibly handcuffed. Two police officers were also inhelp find tenants, draw up contracts jured; one serious enough to be admitted to ICU in the General Hospital, Alicante. The other was released on Sunday morning after treatment. and help manage the property.

Police raid ends in violence

10 - 16 august 2012


Room 101 Spain:


Chris Marshall Expat blogger

Talk of stopping the siesta I RECKON that until you have cracked the siesta in Spain you can’t call yourself a true expat, which by my calculation means that the vast amount of ‘expats’ in Spain still have some serious training to do! It seems a little churlish to be talking about training when the athletes over in the UK are putting in such a tremendous effort, and dare I say putting many of the higher paid sports ‘stars’ to shame. For what it’s worth my view on the Olympics is very simple: unless the gold medal is the pinnacle of your profession the event doesn’t deserve to be in the Olympics which would make a pretty crowded Room 101 Olympics: tennis, basketball, football to start, and I am sorry but BMX an Olympics event? What next, wearing your trousers with the waistband round your knees! It is enough to make an old chap need a lie down in a cool dark room, which brings me nicely back to the siesta. A friend from the UK was recently staying in Almerimar and called one day to ask if I wanted to meet up for a drink: sure I said. 6pm he said. Hmmm I said. 7pm he said. Hmmm I said. Well what time he said? How about 10pm I said! “What???!” he exclaimed.

Well I won’t be awake from my siesta by 6pm and at 7pm I will be doing a bit of writing. I will eat at 9pm so by 10pm it will be cool enough and I will be ready for a drink. Bit late he said. Call it a night cap then I said! We did meet up: hot chocolate for him, red wine for me and he opened the conversation saying that he thought they were going to ban the siesta and a good thing that would be too. It was a ‘typically lazy’ Spanish thing, out-dated, and disadvantaged Spain on the world market, what with being asleep for a couple of hours each day. I will summarise my response for brevity 1. The siesta is far from a ‘lazy Spanish’ thing. Originally created to provide a break for Spaniards working two jobs, the average hours worked in Spain are still amongst the highest in Europe. 2. I had the ‘disadvantaged’ argument years ago with someone who had been working in Dubai. They thought that the siestas took Spain out of the world market for a couple of hours and completely missed the irony that the country they were promoting (Dubai) has a Friday and Saturday weekend so missing two days of the world market AND that Spain by work-

ing into the evening - post Siesta - was in fact ‘open for business’ on the world market - like America - far longer than the UK. 3. Out-dated: well if the sun is out-dated then I agree but for as long as the sun beats down on Spain the siesta will always not only be a good idea, but a necessity. The siesta isn’t about going to bed for a couple of hours sleep. It is about taking a break, a reset of brain and body post lunch and pre dinner. A couple hours on the sofa, grabbing some winter sun, or cooling down in the air conditioning in summer: it is as much a part of Spain and living in Spain as Rioja, Paella, Manchego Cheese. And that is my point. To dismiss the siesta, to not set your body clock to include a siesta, is to be permanently battling against the flow and heartbeat of Spain. Too many times I have been told it was ‘really quiet’ last night, when in fact it was buzzing down the Spanish bars at 2am, or that classic excuse: “Well I would go but why do they start everything so late….?” So this week’s Room 101 Spain is reserved for all that talk about doing away with the siesta!

Chris is a freelance writer who writes a monthly column for the Telegraph Expat as well as a weekly column for the RTN. He lives in Almerimar with his wife Sands, five cats, two Harley-Davidsons and more often than not a bottle of red wine. He runs the successful expat blog, and his wife runs the cat re-homing and transport project Chris’s column is sponsored by and, a leading foreign exchange broker offering excellent exchange rates for all your international money transfer requirements. You can hear Chris every day discussing his views, thought and experiences of life in Spain on


10 - 16 august 2012

Museum gets interesting by Jack Troughton VISITORS TO Javea’s museum will now have a greater understanding of the town’s history and development after exhibit labels have been translated into English. The Museum Soler Blasco is situated in the heart of the Old Town and a team of 15 volunteers took time to translate all the texts describing everything on show. The permanent exhibition tells the story of Javea from 20,000BC to the present day and the volunteers worked with local archaeologist Jose Castello to help solve some translation “headaches”. And their efforts won the thanks of the museum’s director Joaquim Bolufer who said: “The work of these dedicated volunteers will allow more people to access the exhibits and ap-

preciate the treasures of local history.” And Maggie Morgan, one of the translators and co-editor of the project added: “It’s a privilege to help open up the history of Javea to a wider audience and also to be working alongside the museum staff and sharing their enthusiasm for the town. It is now planned to enrol French and German volunteers to help make the story of Javea available to an even wider audience. And the project has prompted the formation of a new group ‘Amics del Museo de Xabia’. The Friends of the Museum will be officially launched later this year and members will be invited to all events at the museum and enjoy trips to archaeological sites and museums in the region. Anyone interested in joining can contact Some or call into the museum of the volunteers itself.


“..and it’s another GOLD for Team GB!”

10 - 16 august 2012

Watts In Britain By

Paul Watts

OLYMPIC FEVER has got us in its grip: the focus of an entire nation is on the London 2012 Games. It’s the topic you talk about with anyone on the street. And it’s great. It’s completely unifying (forget the Moaning Minnie’s negatives).

It has ignored race divide, age divide and is totally inclusive; the people of Britain own these Games. The roars of the crowds can be heard for miles at each event. But, Watts? Hmmm, no buts really… However, there has been a bit of downside Olympic news generated from the tourist sector. They have been complaining that the so-called ‘spoils of the Games’ have yet to translate into increased wealth from tourist revenue. To them I say sit back and wait. The effects of these Games will be a slow-cook affair. Think not about the wealth of the nation but the health of the nation – and the former will come. And the health of the nation will glow for months after. The athletes are proving to be inspiring role models. Attitudes of all the interviewed sportsmen and women are so up-beat and, more importantly, genuine; it is so refreshing as opposed to the X-Factor type plastics we’re more often exposed to. I’m with Allan Massie, a Scottish writer who in the Telegraph on Tuesday 7th August noted that “the little speech made by the President of the IOC, Jacques Rogge, has attracted less notice than it deserved…” Allan is spot on because, after all the fun of Danny Boyle’s Olympic opening extravaganza, Jacques Rogge’s speech was somewhat overshadowed. But the things he had to say clearly show the real core values of our nation in simple but glowing terms.

Over to the BBC for a repeat of what Jacques Rogge said: “In a sense the Olympic Games are coming home tonight. This great sports-loving country is widely recognised as the birthplace of modern sport. It was here that the concepts of sportsmanship and fair play were first codified into clear rules and regulations. It was here that sport was included as an educational tool in the school curriculum. The British approach to sport had a profound influence on our founder, Baron Pierre de Coubertin, as he developed the framework for the modern Olympic Movement at the close of the nineteenth century. The values that inspired de Coubertin will come to life over the next seventeen days as the world’s best athletes compete in a spirit of friendship, respect and fair play.” Yeah go Jacquie-boy! Rogge, an orthopaedic surgeon by profession, is himself an Olympian and has competed at three Games in sailing events. The framework Rogge speaks of can be condensed into the competitor’s charter that Pierre de Coubertin wrote all those years ago: the Olympic Oath. It goes something like: “In the name of all competitors, I promise that we shall take part in these Olympic Games, respecting and abiding by the rules that govern them, in the true spirit of sportsmanship, for the glory of sport and the honour of our teams.” The oath is taken by an athlete from the host nation while holding a corner of the Olympic flag (Anorak note: The athletes’ oath was first

taken by Belgian fencer Victor Boin at the 1920 Antwerp Games). Allan Massie writes, “This really is something of which we are entitled to be proud, very proud indeed, and we should be grateful to Monsieur Rogge for reminding the world of what it owes to Britain and to British values.” Do you know what folks? I think when the Games end next week there’s going to be something of a mass Seasonal Affected Disorder going on. The post Games depression will be palpable - maybe it’ll be called OAD. However, when that quickly wears off we’ll enjoy the legacy that this most successful of Olympic Games will have generated. Watts in Britain, puffing me chest and waving me flag…

Summer school success

10 - 16 august 2012


by Louise Clarke MORE THAN 100 children have taken part in a language immersion summer school and last week, RTN went along to meet them as well as Jane Cronin and her team of volunteers who have been supporting the kids at the school, which is fully endorsed and supported by the Orihuela Town Hall. The school was located in the Entrenaranjos urbanisation for the month of July and all the children, aged between the ages of ten and 14, are being spoken to in English in order to aid them with learning the language. ABILITY As well as regular lessons in English, the children have also been getting involved in local sports such as crown green bowling and golf at the Vistabella Golf Club.

RTN was amazed at the brilliant ability of some of these kids in the English language. Thirteen year old Sofia from Orihuela, for example, interviewed one of the volunteers, Valerie and wrote a report in perfect English on Valerie and her life. Sofia told RTN: “I learned that Valerie had lived in London before she moved to Spain and I was very interested to hear about her life in the UK with her husband Robert and their children, Richard and Karen.” REMARKABLE Elisabeth, also from Orihuela, attended the course for the whole month and won a prize for her work. She and her school mater worked on a survey in which they went out and asked 20 different British expat residents who live on the Entrenaranjos urbanisation

Fun Day at Viva la Vida NEXT SATURDAY, 18th August, there will be a family fun day at Viva la Vida, which is located in Centro Commercial La Fuente, Campoamor in Orihuela Costa. The event, which is in aid of Paul Cunningham Nurses, starts at midday and will finish at midnight. Lots of acts have already been lined up to keep the crowds entertained plus plenty of fun things for the kids. For the adults there will be an air guitar competition in the evening and there will also be the opportunity to try your hand at decorating cup cakes and win a prize! It promises to be fun for all the family. For more information, please call Gill on 619 662 978.

The Kids and Volunteers

about their lives here in Spain. Meanwhile, ten year old Alba told RTN in perfect English all about her school, dogs and family life, which given her young age RTN thought was remarkable. Another student, eleven year old Paula attended the summer school, which was called ‘Amongst the Orange Trees’, and won a prize for the best work in her group. She also interviewed one of the local British expats and told RTN all about her. She said: “The lady I met was called Kath. She has one son and doesn’t have any pets, likes sailing and was a nurse when she lived in the UK.”

VITAL Jane Cronin, who was in charge of the initiative said: “All the children have enjoyed it and the volunteers have relished it. In fact they have been a vital element to this project and I can’t thank them all enough.” The idea has been in the pipeline for many years but this is the first year that it has come into fruition. The school took place in a commercial unit that the Town Hall has rented for five years and weekend activities and a youth club are just two of the projects that are planned for the unit in the future.

Transport card free for residents By Louise Clarke THE MAYOR of Torrevieja, Eduardo Dolon, has announced that from this week, the Urban Public Transport Card (Citizen Card) will be completely free of charge. Accompanied by the town’s Councillor for Transport, Antonio Boix, the Mayor said that all residents of Torrevieja will be able to apply for a transport card at the offices of the Department of Transportation (old Town Hall) during business hours from 7:40am to 2.15pm. Additionally, the Mayor also announced that the Citizen Card will also allow access to various municipal services, such as the Floating Museum of Torrevieja, the CMO, etc.

Eduardo Dolon told RTN that this year the Torrevieja Town Hall is also going to advance the campaign to renew the cards, ease the process and that there will be various ways to renew the card. Therefore, there will be an appointment service Monday to Friday from 8am to 2pm via telephone number 96.692.85.52 and through the email address You can also apply in person at offices of the Department of Urban Cleanliness (Calle Gregorio Marañón No. 1), which also can issue cards. Finally, the Councillor for Transportation reported that in the first year of the Citizen Card more than 8,000 citizens have registered for it.

Terra Mítica expands with new and refreshing water attractions THE BENIDORM theme park has extended its bathing and refreshment facilities, offering visitors a variety of ways to enjoy the water in the 2012 season. The park has developed the ‘Rapids of Argos’, the ‘Nile Falls’ and the ‘Clash of Triton’ in the Laguna in an Egyptian setting. There are plenty of waterfalls and cascades emulating an oasis environment and the River Nile offers the thrill of water cannons to the peace and tranquility of a foot massage in the Jacuzzi either indoors or outdoors. Terra Mitica offers not only the excitement of water attractions but also the beauty of a lush and green environment, essential elements for a theme park that provides all the ingredients for a perfect family summer day out with more than 30 water features and rides complimented by beautiful natural surroundings.

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Positive collaboration between associations by Louise Clarke TWO OF the biggest associations in the province have signed an agreement this week which will prove to be a positive collaboration for all involved. Representatives of APYMECO, the Small and Medium Business Association of Torrevieja and ALCSUR, the Association of Hotels and Tourist Accommodation, met at Torrevieja Town Hall this week to sign the agreement. Witnessed by the Torrevieja Councillor for Hospitality and Trade, Agustina Esteve and the Councillor for Tourism and Culture, Luis Maria Pizana, the President of APYMECO, Antonio Serna and the President of ALCSUR, Juan Palau, put their signatures to the collaboration which will see both associations working more closely together to promote business and tourism in the area. LOYALTY CARD As part of the deal, a loyalty card scheme will be intro-

duced to the customers of all businesses in APYMECO which will allow them better than normal deals at the hotels and tourist accommodations that make up the ALCSUR association. Users of this loyalty card scheme, mainly tourists who visit the area, will have a separate section within the ALCSUR website, which will identify all businesses and service companies that offer exclusive discounts to the card holder. IMPORTANT The President of ALCSUR said that this was an important and positive move for both associations and one that will hopefully bring more customers to the various businesses involved. He told RTN: “This is an important agreement which is exclusive to the members of APYMECO, which, in our opinion are the most professional companies in the city.� Meanwhile, both Councillors spoke very positively about the

Luis Maria Pizana, Agustina Esteve, Antonio Serna and Juan Palau

agreement and said that they were keen to promote collaborations like this which will ultimately benefit the residents, tourists, visitors and business owners of the municipality.


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Festival ends on high note JAVEA’S International Jazz Festival ended with a record breaking crowd enjoying the seductive voice of teenage singer Andrea Motis. by Jack Troughton The talented 16-year-old, who also plays trumpet and sax, appeared with the Joan Chamorro Group on Monday – the final night of the 12th year of the event. And a crowd of almost 2,000 packed into the arena in the Plaza del Constitucion to hear the Andrea band live up to its billing – and prove that despite the current recession and the decision to and Joan restrict the festival to three nights, the new formula proved to be a success. on stage

Simple Minds cancel Alicante gig A CONCERT by eighties band Simple Minds, due to take place in Alicante tomorrow night, 11th August, has been cancelled. The concert promoter, Ophelia Pro, announced the cancellation of the concert, which was scheduled to take place in the bullring in Alicante, was due to the lack of ticket sales. Ophelia Pro told RTN: “We are grateful to those who have purchased tickets for the concert and apologise for any inconvenience caused by its cancellation. All monies will be fully refunded.” For more information on refunds please email or telephone 667 536 078 between 10am and 2pm.


10 - 16 august 2012

10 - 16 august 2012

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Controlling mosquitos and midges in your garden by

Clodagh & Dick Handscombe Practical gardeners and authors

FIFTY YEARS ago much of the Spanish Mediterranean coastline was still marshland or drained marshland for growing vegetables and fruit. Except in Tossa del Mar, Benidorm and Torremolinos the idea of mass tourism had yet to be born and most Spaniards lived or returned from the cities to holiday in the cooler mountain villages a few kilometres inland. Coastal living, except in small fishing communities, had been avoided for centuries for fear of marauding pirates from North Africa – hence the many ancient watch towers along the coast. Mosquitoes caused malaria; yellow fever and cholera from polluted waters draining from villages. 1950s and early 60s package tour holiday makers to Spain will remember the recommended pre-holiday injections and pills. Luckily DDT, until banned as a dangerous chemical, cleared the major swarms of malaria carrying mosquitoes and modern sanitation installations cleaned up village effluents - until overloaded by excessive building!

Damp conditions inevitably attract mosquitoes and midges to the countryside and some gardens and big biting tiger mosquitoes are said to be back in the Ebro delta. So what can be done to minimise the potential problem? PRACTICAL WAYS OF REDUCING MOSQUITO AND MIDGE POPULATIONS IN YOUR GARDEN - Don’t purchase a property near marsh lands, rivers, lakes or land that floods after storms. - Place insect inhibiting plants around the house especially under windows most likely to be opened. Possible plants include lantanas, basil, citronella lemongrass, graveolens, scented pelargoniums, chives, society garlic and normal garlic in pots near doorways or on windowsills. - On a walking holiday we were advised to rub lantana leaves in our hands and then on any exposed skin to deter mosquitoes and midges. Locals used oil or water extracts on a regular basis. - Hang bunches of herbs on the walls of covered terraces to provide hiding places for insect eating geckoes. - Hang bunches of rue alongside or above doorways. - Use a garlic concoction as an insecticide in the flower and vegetable garden. - Cover water butts with well-sealed lids and use the water regularly to stop larvae developing, hatching out and creating space for the next rain.

- Have a pond with fish and frogs. The water will attract any wind blown mosquitoes and midges and the fish and frogs will soon devour any mature insects or larvae in or around the pond. - Construct a rockery with holes for lizards which eat a variety of flying insects. - Make Victorian style pomanders by sticking cloves into an orange and placing on window sills to deter mosquitoes from entering and also place on outside dining tables to deter them while dining. - Check that your regular perfumes and after shaves are not insect attractors. Soak some cotton wool with the liquids and place on a saucer on the terrace as dusk approaches in an area where an outside light will eventually light it up and watch what happens. - Install a bat box under the eaves as they hunt flying insects at dusk. - Use perfumed flares around the garden especially when having a barbecue party. - Install an electric insect stunner. - Set up bird tables, water bowls and nesting boxes to increase insect-eating garden bird population. Such actions can avoid the expense of unsightly mosquito screens on windows and doors, chemical-based insect sprays or chemical block evaporators especially in bedrooms. Act now before the humid autumn and next spring and enjoy the remaining balmy evenings and nights without resorting to mosquito nets.

Clodagh and Dick Handscombes books can be obtained from bookshops or by mail order from info@santanabooks. com or 952-48-58-38, or Amazon. In the UK the books can be ordered through bookshops or for some more conveniently by a freephone call to 0845-260-4505 which is the The Royal Horticultural Society Bookshop at Wisley Gardens in Surrey. © Clodagh and Dick Handscombe

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English TV: A closer look

WE HAVE taken a good look at the different versions of English Television that are available to expats in Spain in a bid to translate the many claims into reality. WE HAVE taken a good look at the different versions of English Television that are available to expats in Spain in a bid to translate the many claims into reality. It seems there are three different methods being advertised with varying prices and with distinct advantages, or disadvantages: Satellite, Internet Streamed & Re-Broadcasted There are things to consider when shopping around or thinking about switching from your current provider. Let’s take a look at each of the different systems on offer: STREAMING This requires a very good ADSL speed - even if you have this we all know the speed can vary throughout the day which in turn will drastically affect the viewing quality. As programmes are streamed through the internet, it also means watching them on your

PC or wiring your computer to the TV set. In our investigations, the majority of people who watch TV this way are more dissatisfied than satisfied. That said, if you are paying a premium to get a good internet speed, then you get TV for nothing – apart from the price of ADSL. RE-BROADCASTING Several companies that offered this service have come and gone: why? Simply because this method is not strictly legal and should the authorities decide to take a stance, it’s gone, just like that. Then there is the issue of quality. Most prone to atmospheric conditions, you can count on a break in this frustrating (for us) service right at the least welcome moment. SATELLITE With programmes beamed directly from the

satellite to your dish, with quality equipment (dish and receiver box), this should give you the best viewing quality of the three. Unlike the other two, HD (high definition) programmes and channels cannot be viewed. You will need an HD receiver and not just a standard box as most companies supply and of course an HD television set. If you have both, your viewing experience is vastly improved. Also, with satellite comes the option to extend your programme list to include Sky Sports. There is one satellite provider which offers a NO RISK service, there is no charge for installation and it comes with an HD receiver and English customer support. They will install the equipment and you can watch over 100 channels in your own language for just €15 per month (plus IVA). Iberswitch TV ticks all the boxes so give us a call: 96 626 5089.

Article by Iberswitch TV. Please call 966 265 089 for more information

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10 - 16 august 2012

Excellence and value for money at Piscimar Pool By Louise Clarke PISCIMAR POOL S.L has been established for nearly 30 years and is a family run Spanish company, based in Cabo Roig. Owned by Alfonso Blaya, the company has an unrivalled reputation throughout the locality for excellence and value for money. Alfonso built his first swimming pool in 1983 and since then has become an expert in his trade and now not only builds swimming pools but also undertakes renovations and other building projects, including garages and driveways. Although Piscimar Pool is based in Orihuela Costa, Alfonso and his team of dedicated and qualified workers will travel all over the Costa Blanca and beyond. They build all types of swimming pools and splash pools in all shapes and sizes. All designs are available and if in doubt Alfonso and his English speaking assistant Anna, will be there to help you. QUALITY Prices quoted by Alfonso and his team include; the excavation of the land; application of the Gunite system; which is a water resistant concrete based filling process with steel, which provides the best and strongest resistance; impermeable paint to make the pool impenetrable to moisture; quality mosaic tiling from one of Spain’s leading mosaic tile companies and of which there are many designs to choose from; grouting; lights and a shower. Now you cannot argue with that can you? As well as the construction of swimming pools, Alfonso

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and his team also offers a comprehensive maintenance service and is on hand to help with all your swimming pool needs; from pool clearing and repairing to changing filters and checking chlorine levels, you know that your pool is in safe hands with Piscimar. They are a fully legal company, well established and most importantly you can trust them. All the workers are Spanish but speak English and they are fully contracted to work for the company, so there are no fly-by-night characters at Piscimar. MAINTENANCE FREE The company also has a range of excellent pool heaters so that you can use your pool for longer every year and pool covers to protect it during the winter months. For the safety conscious, Piscimar has a large selection of removable fencing which is light, rollable and retractable in minutes. These adaptable and maintenance free additions to your pool area are essential if you have young children and grandchildren as you can restrict their access to the pool and prevent any accidents. The quote they give you is the price you pay and that includes all costs for architects, licence applications, solicitor’s fees, notary fees and skip charges. The company ensures not only that the quality of their work is second to none, but also the materials. To find out more about Piscimar Pool S.L, please call 965 32 03 79 or 670 280 818. You can visit their website at or e-mail them at

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10 - 16 august 2012


Suzanne O’Connell Customer Care at Ábaco

Rentalincomerevealed thanks to www. WHAT DID you think of the opening ceremony of the Olympics in London? What were the highlights for you? The Queen parachuting down into the stadium? the forging of the rings? The final lighting of the flame? Or the rural idyll at the beginning?

Perhaps not a highlight but an intriguing part for me was the starring role of Tim Berners-Lee who invented the World Wide Web. We seem to have been using the www. address for so long and for so many aspects of our lives that it’s almost inconceivable that it once didn’t exist, let alone that it’s invention could be attributed to one man. Apparently it was in 1989 that he came up with the idea; only just over 20 years ago, but try and think of any aspect of your life that hasn’t been affected by it. It influences how we shop, how we talk to each other, how we get our news. It has pervaded everything, and not always in a good way. Hacking, phishing and spamming are also a symptom of our internet consumption. It’s opened us up to the world in a way that can in turns make us powerful and vulnerable. For example, advertising your property to rent on a holiday website. Many of us do it; it’s a good way of letting people know about your property.

It’s simple, immediate and cheap and perfect for the World Wide Web. But it’s not just potential holiday tenants that can see it. The Tax Authority can too. We have become aware that some Spanish property owners who are renting out their property as a holiday let are being tracked down by the Tax Authority from the websites that they use. They can match their records with the properties advertised and identify where a landlord is not declaring income from their property rental. Rental income from Spanish property must be declared in Spain. Residents must declare this income on their annual resident tax declaration form. Non-residents pay on a quarterly basis. As the property is situated in Spain the tax must be paid in Spain. However, you can claim a deduction from your UK or Irish tax liability for any tax paid in Spain. The fines for rental income tax evasion can be steep. It seems that the Spanish Tax Authority are using internet access to come down heavy on those who don’t pay their taxes and evaders are smarting from the fines that are being issued. Leaving some people cursing that ‘www’ had ever been invented at all.

If you would like information about declaring tax on your rental income you can contact us on 96 670 3748 or visiting our website

Not everyone in Spain is broke!

ZARA CLOTHING chain owner Amancio Ortega has overtaken Warren Buffett on world’s rich list with fortune of around €37bn. The Inditex clothing giant gained 3.8 per cent on the market this week, boosting his fortune by more than a billion Euros. Despite his enormous wealth he has a way to go to push Mexican telecoms tycoon Carlos Slim, the world’s richest man, off the top spot – Slim is worth £47.3billion followed by Bill Gates with £40billion.

10 - 16 august 2012


Get on board with Milton Express and enjoyanall-roundwinningexperience DUE TO the ongoing expansion of the business Milton Express, promoters of Winning Express and the major shareholders of Sporting Arbitrage Ltd are re-locating to La Zenia. From 1st September their new office will be in Edif. Centro Zenia, Avda. de Villamartin s/n Urb. La Zenia Orihuela Costa. It was a logical step” said chairman John Murray, “With the increasing levels of business being generated in the Costa Blanca region, we felt we needed not only more office space but our own identity. The La Zenia location is more prominent with excellent free car parking available”

Many residents are already profiting from their Arbitrage trading facility which has consistently paid clients a monthly return of 2.75% tax free. Milton Express, the originators of the scheme, actually market a sports advisory service that pays significantly higher returns – but with a degree of volatility. With Winning Express members will not only benefit from the services themselves, they can also promote them to others via a free replica website. So whether the goal is a bigger return on your capital or simply an opportunity to earn generous commissions, Milton Express services are the ideal vehicle. Access to the arbitrage facility is now only available to members of Winning Express although this condition will not be retrospective. Now for £99 residents on the Costa Blanca can sample the full services for three months with a money back guarantee if they fail to make a profit. BONUS FOR SPORTING ARBITRAGE CLIENTS It’s not all doom and gloom on the financial front - clients of Sporting Arbitrage received some welcome news, namely that a half-

yearly bonus is to be introduced. The bonus system came into force from 1st August 1st and Sporting Arbitrage will be updating their systems to provide the facility to all existing clients and to newcomers who apply via the Winning Express opportunity. Existing clients of Sporting Arbitrage have the opportunity to try all our services on a no obligation three month free trial. For those who do become subscribing members there is an opportunity to win a fabulous holiday organised through Viajes Playa Flamenca. An eight day cruise departing from Barcelona with all travel costs included and 500€ towards spending money: full details are on the website. HOME AND LIFESTYLE EXPO Milton Express are proud sponsors of the forthcoming International Event to be held at San Miguel Castle, Castillo de Conesa, on 11th and 12th September, where consultants will be available to discuss our services. Come along and meet us! Steve Claridge, respected BBC TV pundit, will be in attendance To arrange an appointment or for

Steve Claridge

more information on Winning Express please contact the Milton Express office Sophia Business Centre, La Regia on 96 532 2863. All administration duties for Milton Express are carried out by Admin Solutions (UK) Ltd; Velocity House; Tenter Street; Sheffield S1 4DE Tel 0114 213 3539. Please visit the website for full terms and conditions along with details of all our services and promotions:



10 - 16 august 2012

In association with

Thevendor’sroleduringpropertyviewings AS AGENTS, we work extremely hard to achieve property viewings on behalf of our vendor clients. We at Select Villas go to great lengths to check the validity of our prospective viewers/purchasers, so it is imperative that vendors present their properties as best they can. Here are a few pointers to maximise our chances of a sale: FIRST IMPRESSIONS Make sure there is parking/turning space for the viewer’s car(s), even if it means temporary removal of your own vehicle. Ensure gates are already open, if relevant. Tidy, sweep and weed the garden, remove washing from the clothesline, put away garden hoses, children’s toys, water cans etc. Ensure the pool has been cleaned, any cover removed and, ideally, the pump is running and the water sparkling during the viewing period. INTERNAL ACCOMMODATION Ensure that the accommodation is clean and tidy and that as much as possible is removed from worktops and surfaces, and the home is generally de-cluttered Pre-heat or air-condition rooms and put on lights as and where required, and ensure all areas, especially under-builds or rarely used rooms are well aired and ventilated. Clean windows and ensure curtains, blinds and shutters etc. are open to maximise light and views etc. Ensure that the kitchen and bathrooms are de-cluttered and clean, washing up put away, surfaces cleared and towels, tea

towels and cloths put away, and toilet seat/lids lowered. Noisy or over-attentive dogs should either be off the scene being walked, or left temporarily guarding your (well ventilated) car. LONGER TERM MEASURES Any obvious repairs, especially of a cosmetic nature, such as localised redecoration, mould removal from paths and patios etc, hedges and trees trimmed etc. should be attended to. ADMINISTRATIVE We strongly recommend that all deeds and documentation are in order and up to date, especially to include any extensions or alterations to the accommodation. Any updating, especially if, the registered build area has been increased, is best done sooner rather than later. This is especially important if prospective buyers need a mortgage: the mortgage amount granted will depend on the bank’s own valuation which will be limited to the registered build/ habitation area measurement, not necessarily any area that has since been extended or converted. It is now also necessary to have a current ‘cedula’ which must be in place ahead of any completion. PLAYING THE ROLE Having dealt with the dogs, toilet seats and paperwork, what do we do with the vendors? Please don’t lead or follow us around with viewers; the bigger the viewing group, the smaller the rooms will appear, and our professional sales

Article written by Chris Garwood – Partner, Select Villas of Moraira

Relax and let the agents do the work

people will know precisely what to say and what not to say – this is part of the expertise you are paying us for – so please relax and trust us to do our job without distraction. The very best way for vendors to assist is to be in the background and available for us to refer to with any detailed questions or issues. At the same time – subject to weather conditions – just relax with a beer/wine/coffee and a magazine and live the lifestyle that the clients aspire to. This can be so effective.


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Unhappy anniversary by

Christina Brady

Regional Manager of Blacktower Costa Blanca

THE CREDIT crunch started five years ago - instead of things getting better they have steadily become worse. In fact things are so bad the Eurozone is in chaos with the Euro on the brink of collapse and the global economy on the brink of a full blown recession. The UK has suffered a double-dip recession and the economy is about 4% smaller than it was in the third quarter of 2007. The FTSE 100 is still 8% lower than at its close on 9th August 2007 that is even after multiple rounds of central bank intervention and heavy doses of quantitative easing in the US and UK. I think everyone around the world is asking how much longer can this go on, with the economies of the UK, US, Japan, Spain, France, Italy, Ireland, Greece, Portugal and now even Germany under pressure. In Europe the ECB under Darghi’s leadership just lurches from one failure to another and seems unable or unwilling to do what is needed to stimulate growth and pull the Eurozone back from the edge and mass social unrest. Even gloomier, Spain seems on the verge of asking for a full blown bailout closely followed by Italy: right now

the yield on 10-year Spanish bonds is above 7% and the yield on 10-year Italian bonds is above 6% - those are unsustainable levels. The only thing that is going to bring those bond yields down permanently to where they need to be is unlimited ECB intervention. But that is not going to happen without German permission. An article in Der Spiegel recently described the slow motion bank run that is systematically ripping the Spanish banking system to shreds.... Capital outflows from Spain more than quadrupled in May to €41.3 billion ($50.7 billion) compared with May 2011, according to figures released on Tuesday by the Spanish central bank. In the first five months of 2012, a total of €163 billion left the country, the figures indicate. During the same period a year earlier Spain recorded a net inflow of €14.6 billion. If those numbers sound really bad to you, that is because they are really bad. It looks like the authorities in Spain are starting

to panic; it has imposed the following new capital restrictions during the last month alone.... A minimum fine of €10,000 for taxpayers who do not report their foreign accounts. Secondary fines of €5,000 for each additional account No cash transactions greater than €2,500 - this applies to both individuals and businesses What other restrictions are they going to impose in the months ahead? At moment of truth is approaching for the Euro and the Eurozone and nobody is sure what is going to happen next. It is crucial people look at where their savings are, and what currency and product they have, to see if they can make them more secure or work more efficiently. Now more than ever taking independent advice regarding investments, pensions and savings has never been more important. If you would like a free impartial financial review, or have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me on 658 892 330: email

The above information was correct at the time of preparation and does not constitute investment advice and you should seek advice from a professional adviser before embarking on any financial planning activity. Blacktower Financial Management Ltd is licenced by the UK by the Financial Services Authority and is registered with both the DGS and CNMV. Blacktower Financial Management (Int) Ltd is licenced in Gibraltar by the Financial Services Commission (FSC) Licence No: 00805B and registered with the DGS in Spain.


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SellingyourpropertyinSpain What you need to know and do before looking for a possible purchaser. by

Carlos Baos

of White & Baos Abogados English & Spanish Solicitors

DEAR SIRS, I put my property up for sale in the Moraira area about two years ago, as my wife and I have decided to go back to the UK. It took us a very long time to find a possible buyer; however three months ago we found someone who was very interested in the property and he seemed to be ‘the perfect purchaser’. When the lawyer acting on his behalf received the documents for our villa he said that the property was not suitable to be sold as the records were not updated and did not match the land registry or cadastre (catastro) records. Is this true? Please advise what needs to be checked and updated, as I cannot afford to lose the sale. Our first recommendation to anyone who is considering selling a property in Spain is to engage the services of an independent lawyer who speaks your language and is able to explain the process. In our experience there are many reasons for not proceeding

with a purchase, like the property was built on rustic land (no urbanizable) against the planning rules; a property built on urban land without the necessary building license, planning permissions etc; property that does not have or could not get the first or second occupancy license (habitation certificate), etc. Unfortunately, in most cases the owners (vendors) are unaware of these circumstances and learn about these problems at the time of sale, since they purchased it a long time ago or did not make the relevant searches when they bought, etc. Generally, we strongly recommend our clients to update and fully legalise their property before putting it on the market, so that, as you have said, they will know that once they find a proper buyer, the transaction should go through smoothly. In answer to your query, please find below some of the main checks to be done: LAND REGISTRY We need to make sure that your property (the building itself and the plot area) is correctly registered in the Land Registry; that is: the measurements of the property at the Land Registry reflect the reality (all the extensions and works must be registered, updating the Land Registry description), the property must be registered in the names of the real owners and free of charges. TOWN HALL The property should be free of any penalty and/or legalisation

proceedings in the Town Hall. If necessary we will apply for a first or second occupancy license (Habitation Certificate). COUNCIL TAX AND RUBBISH COLLECTION The yearly IBI rates (Impuesto de Bienes Inmuebles Naturaleza Urbana) and rubbish collection should be paid up-to-date at the Town Hall and/or managing agencies (Suma etc). CADASTRE (CATASTRO) We will need to make sure that there are no inaccuracies, if so we will correct them by submitting form 902 or another appropriate form. SELL AT THE APPROPRIATE PRICE We could advise on the minimum tax value of your property in order to avoid revisions from the tax office. This is a very touchy point and should be carefully studied in order to make sure that the sale price is not below market value, or your sale could be reviewed by the taxman. In any case, it is important for you to know the exact legal situation of your property, especially if you are the owner of a Villa and even more so if it is located on rustic land. We can assist you with most of the problems. It is most important for you know at least where you stand and decide what to do and how to sell, according to your personal and property circumstances. If you are considering selling a property then please do not hesitate to contact us for further details.

Carlos Baos (Lawyer) © White & Baos Abogados 2012 - All rights reserved. C/Diana 19, 2º-D, 03700 Dénia (located 1 minute away from the La Via underground car park). Tel: 966 426 185. Send your questions to or This article is available in English and Spanish at The information provided in this article is not intended to be legal advice, but merely conveys general information related to legal issues. Visit our blog at and Facebook (White-Baos-Abogados-Solicitors)


High on the hog PARTY NIGHT for the MABS Cancer Support Group was made extra special when the charity was presented with a cheque for 697€. By Jack Troughton Members of the Costa Blanca Business Association made the donation on Saturday in front of 210 guests during a successful hog roast dinner and dance. MABS President Jacqui Phillips MBE and committee member Lin Jones accepted the cheque from Fiona Hulme of the business association. She said: “The Costa Blanca Business Association is a group of established businesses on the Northern Costa Blanca. Our members represent a variety of trades and services and all work hard to insure they offer excellent products, customer service and value for money. “As well as providing reliable services and promoting each other’s businesses, we also hold events throughout the year to raise money for local charities. Last year one of the sponsored charities was MABS Cancer Support Group and we raised over 3,000€ for their funds.” Fiona said she was “delighted” to be able to present another cheque on behalf of the business association “And hope that it will bring many benefits to the patients helped by MABS.” The charity thanked hosts Brian and Mary Ramsden for hosting the evening at their home in Javea.

(from left) Lin, Fiona and Jacqui


10 - 16 august 2012

Life tech Crackling noise when using Skype

Jacky via email asks: HI AUNTY, I hope you can help me. When I was talk ing to my daughter via Skype last week she said that all she could hear was a crackling noise and not me talking. I could hear and see her and she could see me. I did a check on Skype and also my computer to see if it was working and it seems it is not. I have tried the microphone on my laptop and it works perfectly. I have uninstalled and reinstalled Skype and done a system restore on the computer but it is still the same, what can you advice please? The computer has windows XP. Aunty Says: The fact you can hear your daughter but you’re sounding bad at her end suggests a possible fault with the soundcard driver software or the sound device itself. If you had no result from restoring Windows to a previous time when everything was tickety-boo then I’m guessing it’s a hardware problem. Maybe double check for spyware and virus and try booting into ‘Safe Mode’ (F8 before Windows starts) and test the mic with the built in Sound Recorder (‘start’ ‘all programs’ ‘accessories’ ‘entertainment’). Let me know how you get on.

with Aunty Virus


Unsecured network

George from Benidorm asks: MY WIRELESS network has been unsecured since it was installed by Telefonica a number of years ago. How do I security enable it?

Aunty Says: This can be reasonably straight forward George, but like all things to do with computers it’s simple until you run into problems. I will explain the basics and see how you get on. To setup the wifi security you need to login to the router either using the CD and ‘wizard’ that came with your router or directly via your browser (Internet Explorer of Firefox etc.) If you have the CD then it should be as straight forward as following the installation wizard that runs when you start the CD. You need to be connected to the router with an Ethernet cable (looks like a phone connector but bigger) and it will be in Spanish. Most of the settings are preset and you are looking for the ‘inalambrico’ option. If you connect via your browser then you need to type ‘’ in the address bar (where you would normally type www.) and enter ‘admin’ and ‘admin’ as the user name/password when the login box appears. From here you can browse around for the section called something like ‘wifi security’ where you will be able to activate and set the WEP passcode. This is a very simplified version of events and if you get a bit stuck most computer shops should be able to set this up for a small fee. Take your router and its power supply in and it should only take 2 minutes and cost around €10.

Pictures disappearing

Neville via email asks: JUST RECENTLY I have lost most of my pictures that have been sent to me via email and even ones that were there previously have now become just a blank square with a small red X in the top left hand corner. I have Windows 7 and I am using hotmail, the problem seems to have happened since I installed a new HP Photosmart printer a couple of weeks ago. I assume that my computer is now failing to recognise certain file formats but I am at a loss as to where I go to restore them. Can you help please? Aunty Says: If you are no longer able to view your photos then maybe the program associated with .jpg files has been changed. The way

to check this is to right click on one of the photos and choose ‘open with’ and ‘choose default program’. You will see a list of available programs or you can browse your computer for your favorite one. If you have actually lost your photos, i.e. you cannot see them listed when you look in the relevant pictures folder, then something has gone seriously wrong somewhere and we’ll need to investigate further.

Gadget Inspector Investigates:

10 - 16 august 2012


Picnic Pleasures Daily Yoga THIS WEEK the Inspector looks at the options for that typically British tradition – picnicking. And with the plethora of good, clean public picnic areas available in Spain who needs an excuse for a day out? Picnics can be traced back to the 14th Century and medieval hunting feasts in England. These events were of special importance and took place before the hunt – but in these modern times there´s no need to have a particular reason other than to just enjoy them! Perhaps better known for producing DIY tools, Draper is the first port of call for the Backpack Picnic Set. This four person set contains four plates, cups, knives, forks, spoons and napkins. It also comes with a set of salt and pepper shakers, cutting board and even a multi-function bottle opener. The Draper Backpack Set also contains an insulated food compartment, external bottle holder and a storage compartment. It measures 290 x 200 x 400mm (approximately), and has adjustable straps to

Draper Backpack


Dorchester Hamper

allow it to be comfortably worn on those treks into the Sierras. And when you reach the peak there´s even a rug included on which to sit. Visit to purchase the Draper Backpack Picnic Set for the amazingly low price of 42€. But what if you´re the more traditional type and want to add that extra touch of luxury to your picnicking experience? The Greenfield Collection Luxury Dorchester Two Person Picnic Set should be just your cup of tea. Constructed from the finest full buff willow with genuine leather hinges and fastening clasp, the Greenfield is designed to make it easy to carry. The Greenfield Collection Luxury Dorchester Two Person Picnic Set contains two high quality glass goblets, Stainless Steel spoons, knives and forks, and the finest china plates and mugs. To complete the picture the set also has two food containers. It´s never been easier to be a privileged picnicker! Visit to purchase the Greenfield Collection Luxury Dorchester 2 Person Picnic Set for a very reasonable 64€. The Inspectors Verdict: If you´re planning an activity packed outing and need your picnic to be truly portable then the Draper Backpack Set fits the bill nicely. But if the most exercise you´re planning is parking up the Bentley and opening the champagne then the Greenfield Collection Luxury Dorchester Picnic Set will definitely be much more suitable dahling. Visit to purchase these and other great gadgets. Prices quoted include free delivery to Spain (Euro cost subject to exchange rate at time of purchase).

Summer is now in full swing and we are all very aware of our muffin tops, bingo wings, beer bellies and chardonnay belts! There is a solution and it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to break out into a sweat – The Daily Yoga mobile phone app. You are taken through each yoga posture step-by-step by a certified yoga instructor in a video format – a bit like going to a yoga class but without the embarrassment of getting into a pickle when you feel like you havn’t quite got the hang of it. Because it is on your mobile you could in theory strike a yoga pose absolutely anywhere, space permitting. The app even comes with a choice of super chilled out background music to ensure that you get into the yoga vibe to help you not only tone up the body but also relax the mind. Available to download on Android mobile phones.


10 - 16 august 2012

Life horoscopes Cosmic energies see Uranus at your side and Venus squaring up for good measure. This is a good time to weigh up the pro’s and the con’s and to make decisions that are based on your specific wants and needs right now. Others should be made aware of your sacrifices as you make known the secrets of your heart.

The Venus opposition to Pluto brings you freedom as a carefree time allows you rest and relaxation from what has been an uphill climb. You often work best under pressure, but unwinding now will better prepare you for a busy time ahead, and motivate you to take control when the time comes. Sooner than you think. A time to explore the deep meaning of your recent inner energies. You often like to do things the hard way, and now there are some subtle changes to affect, what better time than now to see things through. This is good time to plan a trip, or launch a project as you have the control, and the desire to motivate others to your mode of thinking. Venus, Goddess of Love greatly influences your way of thinking right now, putting passion on the menu, where it belongs, and banishing you from entering back into that convenient shell. Don’t refuse an invitation that comes from out of the blue, you are about to experience something very special and rather wonderful. The recent Mercury Direct has served to show you the clear way ahead, opening all channels of communication at the same time. It is clear that you need to find a suitable way to deliver a message that you know will be hard, but currently this holding back is hurting you greatly. Say what has to be said, and there’s an end to it! Why make things more complicated than they really are? Bringing attention to the situation should be enough to help to move things on, so just let others come to right conclusions. You must remember that you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink. Someone’s stubbornness will be revealed, but it’s not your problem. With both Mars and Saturn conjuncting this week there is no smoke without fire. Examine very carefully the part that you have already played, and then eliminate the compulsion to make everyone happy, and think of yourself. Warring Mars and Wily Saturn will provide the opportunity for furthering work you need to do on yourself. Someone’s somewhat spiteful nature has naturally shocked you momentarily. You have got by before and you do not need anyone to fight your case, nor any seal of approval. Beware of someone who is not who you think they are; and check what you say since it may be repeated to those who do not have your interests at heart. Cosmic energies bring subtle changes into action, which you may be able to turn to your great advantage. One doesn’t keep a dog and bark oneself! Use your strong powers of judgment, since there is a need for transparency over something that has begun to go out of control and which needs to be nipped in the bud. The advances of Pluto bring you down to Earth and back to your senses once more. You have been seeing things through rose coloured glasses; but in the scheme of things the cold light of day brings the truth banging on your door. Stop treading carefully around something which needs to be thrashed out once and for all, and start action. Action between a defiant Neptune and resourceful Mercury brings great results. Second best may be available, and what you have previously accepted, but it is not what you should be currently aiming for. With conflict around you and such little time on your hands there is a great need to do what you know you have to. Neptune starts the week and Chiron enters midweek to balance the books. This is an inspiring time for you and a time when you need to take the bull by the horns and prepare to start something only you can. You are full of talent and iniative, but often, sadly, your special thoughts go no further, and that is such a shame!

Kenny corris


MEDITATION IS what it says on the bottle, a subtle way to access inner peace from a slow and gentle detachment of our consciousness. I know that this may conjure up stoned hippies sitting on beanbags with a joint in one hand, but that is the prerogative of the format of Meditation. It is a very useful tool that can be used whenever it is needed. It should never become a compulsion or necessarily the part of a routine, since the spontaneous flexibility of being able to close down in peace and harmony is such a relevant tool for today. When we feel pressure, or we are unsure of an ongoing situation or need guidance; meditation is there to help us tune into our innermost soul. Some people have a difficulty in connecting with themselves, or with connections with the outside World. Here the skill of Meditation takes on a whole new meaning, bring rest, peace and resolve where there has previously been conflict, stress or trauma. Actually listening to our bodies brings us back to basics very fast. It is vital to breathe correctly when we wish to enter new space and work with our innermost deep energies. Deep breathing, holding gently and exhaling audibly builds structure to any process of Meditation we are attempting. Every Meditation is different as we experiment with a known and acquired process, and so it can be tailored to your specific wants and needs. Many tell me that Meditation sent them to sleep, and they were put off with the conscious control

Kenny’s diary “An Audience with Kenny Corris” A Show with clairvoyant energies, readings, and how to develop your connection with Spirit. Currently being presented in five countries. Some bookings for Spain still available to help boost your Charities’ fund raising. Please call Kenny for details direct on: 686 361 594 2012 Lightworkers Course: Day Workshop: Held in Finestrat: How to enter the Fifth Dimension Now listing! Call 686 361 594. Activate your DNA: A workshop like no other! Presented in Autumn. Please email for details.

necessary to make things work. The timing here is wrong. If you are tired you cannot make the control needed to slip away into a Meditative state. Others have said that they find it hard to clear their minds, and that instead of focussing on a blank space and clearing thoughts; intense thoughts are provoked by the silence, and these circumstances mar the process of calm when we shut down. Once we can eliminate the hustle and bustle of a day, removing stress and tension and onward thinking is halted, then, finally, it is time to enter your Meditation space. Guided Meditations may not be your way initially. Just having to listen and to have to wait for instructions on a CD may stop your individual pattern. Later on when you have established your Meditation technique then sound and music and speech may inspire you. Meditation should take you where you want to go, but you have to make decisions that are based on your own feelings. Meditation is very much a tool, and one that you can use in many ways to help you any which way you need it. Many will bring in sound and maybe visuals to help them concentrate on setting the scene for Meditation. The clarity achieved will help you to re charge when you need to, and to start to work on subtle energies that have been dormant for some time. The awakening means that the process becomes automatic to you, and you take control as you make your individual journey. Meditation has become big news with stressed out business men and high flyers. Slipping away for a few minutes helps charge the system and is a great way to boost energies during the day, whatever you are doing, and wherever you are. Things will appear clearer and more distinct and when you charge you can cool the inner you, ready for whatever lies ahead.

Love & Light... Kenny Corris

Postbag Email your letters to me at: KENNY, DOES everyone have a Guide? How do we know if we have one or not? Can we contact the Spirit World without a Guide anytime? Brit.U. Hi Brit! Such a short message but three good questions. Everyone has a Guide. Often over years when there has been no contact Guides cease working, or we move on and they cannot help as quite as they should. We know we have a Guide when we establish a connection with them, like the start of any great friendship, it begins with talking. If for any reason your Guide is not responding ( and you must give this time) then it may be time to ask for a new Guide. You can contact the Spirit World freely whenever and wherever you wish with or without a Guide. Any questions? Let me know.

actions bring solutions and reveal truths. If it’s your birthday Cosmic Enjoy the clearance that only transparency can bring and find a way of making this work to your this week advantage!



Cryptic Crossword

Quick Crossword ACROSS 6. Late tributes to somebody coming from the wars! (7) 7 & 9 Across. Could they be the barriers between political factions? (5-5) 9. See 7 Across 10. Daily record at the saw-mill? (3-4) 12. A man with unbelievable relations! (5-6) 14. He displays an advertisement for William’s watch (4-7) 18. Strike another match (7) 19. Could possibly be synonymous with power (5) 21. Young attendants used by bookmakers (5) 22. One who will produce hand-made predictions (7)

Word Ladders


10 - 16 august 2012

DOWN 1. Put your weight on a rung of the ladder (5) 2. Plaque that shows a different battle (6) 3. No-one who is brazen will be cast! (3) 4. A jagged point will get the Spanish fish (6) 5. Swimming movements for oarsmen! (7) 8 & 20 Down. Get in touch with the fellow he’s an intermediary (7,3) 11. See 17 Down 13. According to the letter, it’s illuminated with real variation (7) 15. He conducts the German songs we hear (6) 16. This is quite a problem - give me a gin well mixed (6) 17 & 11 Down. Could they be authors of “The Wraith” and “The Phantom Spirit”? (5-7) 20. See 8 Down

The key rule is that you must only change one letter at a time as you move from one rung to another, and the word you make must be a proper word! Therefore you may move from BATH --> BATS but not from BATH --> CASH because that changes two letters in one go which is not allowed.

ACROSS 6. Malady (7) 7. Beneath (5) 9. Crease (5) 10. Least (7) 12. Command (11) 14. Component (11) 18. Unaffected (7) 19. Amusing (5) 21. Player (5) 22. Move forward (7)

DOWN 1. Passage (5) 2. Keep (6) 3. Employ (3) 4. Maintain (6) 5. Assault (3,4) 8. Alcoholic cordial (7) 11. Moral (7) 13. Sovereign (7) 15. Coma (6) 16. Usual (6) 17. Negligent (5) 20. Uneven (3)

Euromillions Draw Friday 3rd August 2012

24 34 35 42 46



No ticket won the 180,011,715 Euros

Tuesday 7th August 2012

20 27 34 46 50


No ticket won the 190,000,000 Euros



10 - 16 august 2012

Life spanish

Basic Spanish for everyday needs by Jane Cronin

Tips and tricks of Spanish 2 Grammar books will teach you “correct” Spanish, but what do the natives actually say? We all know how to say “gracias” for “thank you” and most of us Brits tend to say it too often! However, from time to time there are situations where even “gracias” is not enough, as someone has been especially kind and thoughtful to us. We could say “muchísimas gracias”, which is something like “Thanks ever so much” or another good phrase is “muy amable” (“very kind”, or “that’s very kind of you”). It might not be a phrase we use every single day, but a good one to save up for the right moment! Last week we looked the slightly “rude” word starting with “jo”. This month we have something similar, the phrase “me ca”, which is an abbreviated form based on the verb “cagarse”. This refers to something very basic, in fact a bodily function that is common to all of us – even the Queen. As nasty as it sounds to us the Spanish tend to swear by saying that they will do this all over the place, on your mother, her milk, god, and almost anything else that might come within range. However, “me ca” on

its own is said very commonly, often to express general surprise, and does not sound horrible at all, honestly! One thing you may have noticed is how many expressions there are in Spanish starting with the word “Qué”. We have “¡Qué pena!” (What a shame!) and “¡Qué maravilla!” (What a marvel!) There are hundreds of similar phrases as we can add “qué” to words to turn them into a statement of amazement or frustration. One of these is very common, but tricky to translate: “¡Qué fuerte!” It literally means “How strong!”, but it is not usually used to admire somebody’s biceps. It refers to anything that is a bit over-the-top, shocking or just “too much”! To continue our rather dubious theme of watered down swear words, here is one more for the collection: “miércoles”. Yes, you’re right, it means Wednesday, and is therefore a completely innocent word. However, just sometimes you will find that someone was going to say something else, namely “mierda”, and turns the utterance

around mid-word. We do the same when we say in a rather gentile manner “Oh sugar!” Last month we saw that X can represent the word “por”. This month we have the symbol + which represents the word “más” (more). Our starting point yet again is arithmetic: “dos más dos son cuatro” (2 + 2 = 4). In English we would say this with the word “plus”, but in Spanish “more” and “plus” are the same word. In one area on the coast there are hand-painted slogans around saying “+ policía” (más policía). These are signs calling for more police to patrol the streets. Do you find some Spanish nicknames odd? I used to have a lot of trouble with names like “Chus” and “Chema” as I could never work out where they came from. Then I discovered that the “J” often becomes a “ch” in names. “Chus” is short for “Jesús” and “Chema” can be “José María” or “José Manuel”. “Nacho”, on the other hand is a shortened version of “Ignacio” – strange but true!

This article is made up of items that have been appearing over recent months in my blog which you can also get to via the homepage of my website. They come under various categories such as “false friends” “favourite sayings” “Spanish society” and so on. I hope you enjoy them.

Twit of the Week Lauren_TOWIEw @LaurenGoodger : Omg we had a power cut which reset everything! Been woken up by a head banging alarm going off in the cupboard of my flat ahhhhh #Headache! x So True! jody morris @morriskid : Moving house forces you to go into cupboards you haven’t been in a while!! The Olympic Tweets example @example : Met some lovely German Olympics Tourists outside Kings Cross. We had a picture and they gave me some Haribo #FairDeal #TeamGB Alastair Campbell @campbellclaret : That is proper shirt swapping. French telly will be loving the winner wearing a French shirt even if he is Kenyan. Roger Mosey @rogermosey : Stunning viewing figures for last night’s amazing athletics. 17.1m watched Mo Farah win gold, and 16.3m saw Jess Ennis’s triumph. #BBC2012 The Funny Tweets Rizzle Kicks @RizzleKicks : I wish I could retweet jokes when people told me them, I always retell them without key details and it becomes unfunny and a little awkward Frankie Boyle @frankieboyle : I don’t see why the last day of the Olympics shouldn’t be all the gold medalists playing dodgeball till we have an ultimate champion

Life books

Danny Collins -

Wife Interrupted THIS BOOK is a true account of how one young woman coped with the loss of her husband of three weeks and survived the trauma of widowhood. Amy Molloy’s life was turned on its edge when, at 23, she lost her husband to a tragic fate. Amy had known Eoghan had been diagnosed with a terminal cancer before their marriage but nothing could prepare her for the cold shock of widowhood and the rapidity and suddenness of his death. How do you handle a life of being suddenly alone at 23? In this emotive account, the author tells a gritty and devastating story that cries out with touching honesty. Reeling from the death of the man she loved and deprived of the love and security her age naturally demands she goes on a 13 month spree of painting the town red, sleeping with 27 inappropriate men along the way. It might not have been the most sensitive way to deal with widowhood, but it makes for high drama as the author works through the seven stages of grief – with added Sambuca shots – before emerging as a more reflective person in the final chapter. The end of the book is her beginning and Amy Molloy deserves our applause for her honesty in telling the world a story that must have cut like a knife with each keystroke. The resulting book is most thoroughly and utterly recommended for the non judgemental reader willing to learn about the raw edge of life as it is once the rose-tinted glasses come off.

Suduko Answer

Author: Amy Molloy Publisher: Headline Review (paperback) Price: 10.40€ ISBN: 978 0 7553 1956 5

10 - 16 august 2012

Life health


Mark Phoenix Murphy Dhp MIAPH MNRAH

Trust in your Hypnotherapist IF YOU’RE suffering with anxiety or depression, wish to stop smoking or even would like to lose weight with the HypnoBand™, you need to trust your practitioner and by asking him - or her - the following questions you can assure that confidence. According to Mark, every genuine clinic with a qualified hypnotherapist should have a professional body behind them. With pure Hypnoanalysts, the major international body is the IAPH, or the International Association of Pure Hypnoanalysts. To be a part of this body, there are criteria that a

practitioner has to follow to ensure they are ready to help others with their methods. HERE ARE SOME OF THOSE CRITERIA: A supervisor is assigned to each member to prevent burn out and keep a fresh state of mind A yearly 20 hour conference to ensure the members are kept up to date with the most modern techniques Continual professional development to ensure the professional is up to date with legislation and techniques, criminal record checks, a code of conduct and ethics The list continues, assuring that hypnotherapy patients are safe and protected. Ethically, every hypnotherapist should really give a free consultation prior to treatment - this is to make sure that the potential client is entirely suitable for treatment. Mark offers a

completely free 30 minute consultation, prior to treatment, whether for smoking cessation, anxiety, weight control…no matter what your problem may be. During any initial consultation, you should take advantage of that time to ensure that the practitioner you have chosen has a complaints procedure…This procedure works in conjunction with the professional body, as if you ever have any complaints (some do make false claims to try to exaggerate their skills) you should forward your complaint to them. In Spain they should be registered as a clinical Hypnotherapist with a governing body in Spain (Mark is registered with APT COFENAT, this proves that he is working legally and insured to work in Spain). Also ask if they have Public Liability and Professional Indemnity Insurance; this protects both you and the practitioner and ensures their legitimate status - it is also a legal requirement. These simple questions give you the assurance that the hypnotherapist you have chosen can really help you and you can trust them to guide you through your difficulties. Mark Phoenix Murphy is a registered consultant HypnoBand™ Practitioner on the Costa Blanca and Costa Calida. He is also a Spanish Registered Clinical Hypnotherapist, Psychotherapist and a Pure HypnoAnalyst. If you have any issues with anxiety or stress, maybe you want to lose a few pounds or a few stone, or maybe you want to Stop Smoking in 30 minutes or you just need a helping hand during hard times then call Mark on 654 202 996 or visit or for more details about his practices.

Please call Mark now on 654 202 996 to book your free initial consultation or visit him at Mark’s clinics are held at the Family Medical Centre, Albir; The International Clinic Moraira; The Physical Therapy Clinic Villamartin and the Dental Clinic Camposol in total confidentiality.


10 - 16 august 2012

Life health


Dawn Blythe S.R.N. R.M.

Family Medical Centre, Albir

Breastfeeding: You can if you want to! THE MOST common cause for mothers to ‘give up’ breastfeeding is sore or painful nipples. The only cause of sore nipples is incorrect fixing of the baby onto the breast. Any pain experienced whilst breastfeeding indicates an imperfect technique – i.e. the baby is not far enough onto the breast. The basic mistake is usually caused by the mother trying to place the nipple into the baby’s mouth. The baby should be put onto the breast – not the other way around. The amount of time the baby feeds on the breast has no bearing on sore nipples. This is an old wives’ tale! A baby can be fixed incorrectly on the breast for 5 minutes and you will get sore nipples, but fixed correctly on the breast for an hour and your nipples will be fine! Incorrect breastfeeding will cause sore nipples to become worse and worse until the mother dreads every feed. This in turn will lead to a complete breakdown of the lactation cycle causing the mother’s milk supply to drop drastically. The baby will then suck harder and harder in frustration,

sore nipples will become worse, eventually bleeding, and milk supply will drop even further. The baby’s hunger will not be satisfied and the vicious cycle will start again. Do not be ‘fobbed off’ by anyone telling you ‘it always hurts a bit at first’ or that your nipples are too fair/flat/small/large (or anything else for that matter!) Anyone who tells you this is years behind the times. Recent medical studies have proven beyond doubt that it is precisely these old fashioned ideas that have been the basis of breastfeeding problems over recent years. If it hurts it’s wrong! Many new mums I see are completely befuddled and confused. They wonder ‘have I got enough milk?’ ‘Should I top the baby up?’ etc. New mothers are also bombarded with advice from well-meaning relatives and friends regarding their breastfeeding. This is rarely helpful and in many cases undermines the new mother’s confidence, causing her to make decisions that result in failure to establish successful breastfeeding. I would advise all expectant mums who are planning to breastfeed to have a consultation

with an experienced midwife before they give birth. The ideal time to do this is at about 30 weeks gestation and as the support of a partner is vital for breastfeeding to succeed, expectant dads should also attend. The Midwife will explain the lactation cycle and the secrets of success. The majority of breastfeeding problems are caused by errors in the first few days, therefore it is really important to receive the correct advice and start off right! If you are experiencing breastfeeding problems, without expert help things will only get worse. If you experience any pain or discomfort during feeding, seek prompt help from your Midwife.

This article was written by Dawn Blythe, Midwife, Family Medical Centre, Albir. Should you wish to speak to Dawn about any Midwifery issue please call 96 686 5072 or email

Beauty and the beast

ENJOY mini-beauty and therapy treatments, a tapas lunch, and help raise funds for a Costa Blanca animal charity on Friday 31st August and ‘Tasters All Round’. Parcent’s Skin Solutions is hosting another charity day from 10am when a range of mini-treatments at mini-prices will be available, as well as Angel card readings with clairvoyant Tamsin. These events are always popular and this time cash will help animal charity AKIRA – so it is advisable to book treatments in advance.

Lunch, available from noon, is a ticket only affair and must be pre-booked. At 8€ each it includes six tapas from the menu, wine, beer, sangria or soft drinks – the food prepared by Catering Services Moraira. Skin Solutions is offering 15-20 minute ‘mini treatments at mini prices’ while reflexology, back, neck and shoulder massages, Reiki, and professional permanent makeup are also on offer during Tasters All Round. For tickets or for more information call Eileen at Skin Solutions on 902 888 187 or 660 319 697, or email, or call Pauline of AKIRA on 625 767 781, or email


10 - 16 august 2012

Life going out

Fine dining at The Olive Tree THE OLIVE Tree Restaurant on the outskirts of Moraira close to the Eurogym is a restaurant you could visit on a weekly basis to sample their ever-changing, seasonal and addictive menu. The Olive Tree Restaurant is passionate about using only the finest and freshest ingredients. My family and I had the great pleasure of returning to the Olive Tree for yet another outstanding meal. The starters are out of this world…The Chicken Tikka with a coriander and mint remoulade is so fresh and crunchy, perfect on a hot summer’s evening; the Indian Spiced Fish Cakes were light and flavoursome, accompanied by a delicious mango chutney and riata - my husband opted for the Smoked Haddock on a potato rosit, with wilted spinach and soft poached egg drizzled in a hollandaise sauce. This starter was amazing and not usually found on a Spanish menu - this dish you would normally find in a London Bistro. I ordered the Marinated Mushrooms with chilli and chorizo served on crusty bread; beautifully spiced and deliciously tasty. After delicious starters we couldn’t wait to see what the main course had in store. The sun-dried tomato salmon fillet on a bed of oven-roasted mediterranean vegetables is so summery and light. My brother decided on Serrano ham wrapped chicken filled with goat’s cheese and topped with a crispy potato cake which just melted in your mouth. My homemade gourmet burger with paprika onion

rings, chips and rocket salad is an absolute must. My husband (the carnivore) ordered the chargrilled fillet steak served with hand cut, triple cooked chips with a béarnaise sauce (4 sauces to choose from). The steak has an additional charge of 10€, a steak of this quality is normally about 22€ so at the Olive Tree for an extra 8€ you not only have a perfectly cooked steak but you also receive a further two courses and half a bottle of house wine which was of a very high standard - another great find by Karen Jewell. WOW! Is the only way to describe Karen’s dessert menu. I had to order the same white chocolate and raspberry cheese cake as before, it is just scrumptious; the de-constructed banoffee pie is the ultimate banoffee lover’s dream with a slight modern twist; Karen’s take on the traditional rhubarb and custard crumble arrived at the table beautifully stacked in a glass, looking almost like a custard slice and tasted just heavenly. The homemade chocolate brownies with warm chocolate sauce and cream were described as a ‘pure creamy indulgence you will not want to share’. Karen’s highly trained and dedicated team has now been joined by London Chef Jason Seccombe who will be helping Karen produce this wonderful menu. The Olive Tree Restaurant is open seven days a week from 6.30pm until late .The 3 course menu, including half a Karen bottle of wine, is only 22€ which for the standard of the of the food is truly unbelievable. Call 96 649 0655 to book: Olive Camino del Paellero 4, Moraira. Tree

Life food

10 - 16 august 2012

Food Consultant Edwin Cheeseman

Excuse me sir but I would like to borrow some money ON THE basis that my bank manager is probably on holiday I will let you into a little secret. Trying to borrow money for anything these days is a bit like pulling teeth, it’s difficult. Borrowing money for a restaurant with so many annual failures is hard enough but trying to do it with one of our unusual and some would say wacky food ideas, believe me is harder. Following a divorce and finding myself more than a bit broke I tried to ask the bank manager for a loan and when he asked what the concept was I hesitated, trying to think of any successful concept I could copy as we spoke. Fortunately I dreamt up a completely new one with an open kitchen in the middle of the restaurant and everything on display which would be sold by the pound. When he asked who would greet the guests I said I would from the central kitchen and who would do the cooking, again I said I would. His expression was not what I would call encouraging and then we started talking about the food, and then he got hungry and then very interested. Always talk to your bank manager just before lunch or dinner and just talk about food. By the time I was finished he was salivating uncontrollably and willing to give me anything if he could be the first customer. The technical details relating to prospective turnover, wage percentages and food percentages and planned gross profit I have to confess I just made up. Fortunately the restaurant was a great success and my bank manager kept his job and was indeed one of the very first

customers. The reason I am writing this? Well it’s because I’ve got another brilliant idea nagging at me that just will not go away and I may need to borrow some more money. You see I have always had a hankering to open a proper rib shack - you know the kind of place, wooden floors, and country music on strategically place TV’s, everyone wearing denim, with oysters, chicken wings or clam chowder on the menu followed by my own signature ribs. There would be three different flavours and three large ribs per portion and you could choose all of one sort or two of one and one another or have the house special which would be all three. They would be served Hot and Spicy, Sweet and Sticky and Sour and Smokey. Side dishes would include sloppy mashed potatoes with a dish of home-smoked bacon bits on the side, bourbon baked beans, deep fried bananas, homemade bread and sweet corn pancakes as well as the house coleslaw, eat in or takeaway. The smoker outside would be visible to all and if you couldn’t see it then I’m

sure you would be able to smell it. Maybe we could include some smoked brisket and Pastrami and whatever else takes my fancy. Hot smoked salmon or mackerel and as for puddings (which apparently I seldom mention) how about my special New York Style baked salt & pepper cheesecake made with smoked cheese. Of course as before in our restaurants there will be rules, we will explain exactly what is available and how much it costs before you order as well as what is not available. We can change the menu at a minute’s notice depending what’s available at the time, the mood of the chef, what’s in the smoker and the bargaining prowess of the management. So, if you can see it then we probably serve it but if you don’t see it then we probably don’t, the secrets in the title Rib Shack.

If you have a question about food email Eddie runs Thieves Kitchen which now includes “Restaurant Rescue” offering advice and Simple Solutions to stale problems. “Food Concepts” Brunches and Artisan as well as Open Kitchens. “Restaurant Secrets” with tailor made private tuition (max 4 persons) to develop your cooking skills. “You will never smell Fresh bread on line”



10 - 16 august 2012

Life people

Complex musical capers By Jack Troughton A fun-filled feast of music and comedy comes to the Costa Blanca for the first time with the colourful Broadway and West End hit ‘Musical of Musicals: The Musical!’ The production is split into five segments and each is written in the style of the great musical composers whether it is Rodgers and Hammerstein, Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Jerry Herman or Kander and Ebb. Musical of Musicals was first performed in New York in 2003 and later in the West End, becoming a major international hit after being performed all over the America, UK, and Australia. After its successful Broadway run it was nominated for the Lucille Lortel Award for Best Musical in 2004 and the following year, nominated for the Drama League’s Best Musical. Howard Kissel, of the Daily News, wrote of the production: “The zany affectionate humour keeps you laughing from start to finish.” The five acts, or mini-shows, are roughly centred on the same classic plot and the mayhem caused by a landlord being told by his tenant: “I can’t pay the rent.” VILLAIN And each of the five acts revolves around the same four characters in archetypical roles: ‘Jitter’, the landlord villain demanding the rent be paid or suitable compensation offered; ‘Billy’, the heroic male lead; ‘Jean’, the female lead and unable to pay the said rent; and ‘Abby’, the world weary woman on hand to offer advice. The show premieres in Spain next month and is performed by Amadeus and produced by Philip Ashley, the director of the recent production on the coast of The Mikado.

In ‘A Little Complex’ the landlord Jitter goes crazy after he discovers his sculpture has been removed from the entrance to the apartment block and threatens to murder his tenants in revenge. Naturally, the girl who made the mistake is Jean – who is behind with her rent – who did not realise the importance of the artwork and left it out for the binmen. Chaos ensues. And the 20 minute segment is inspired by Stephen Sondheim and makes references to

‘Into the Woods’, Sweeney Todd, ‘A Funny thing Happened on the Way to the Forum’ and other classics of the genre. Musical of Musicals is being staged at the Casa de Cultura, Benissa, on 26th and 27th September. Tickets are 12€ each and 25% of each ticket sold is going to the Lions Club to help its work with children in the area. Tickets can be ordered online at or by telephone on 96 558 1483.

Club plays trump card

POINTS MEAN prizes at Javea Bridge Club’s annual summer pair’s competition thanks to generous sponsors Blevins Franks. The tournament always attracts a mixture of regulars and visitors ready to pit their wits against each other – and this weekend is no different. Club President Derrick Holdback said: “We are delighted to have the support of Blevins Franks for this major event. The sponsorship means that we can offer a number of cash prizes for the leading pairs and in a number of special categories.” The competition is run over Saturday and Sunday and starts at 5pm - tapas after each session helps remind players of the need for good bridge and the social element.

Life music

Zodiac Duo - Gary & Keith ZODIAC IS the ‘People’s Favourite’ Vocal Harmony Duo on the Costa Blanca, covering songs from the 60s to date. Since moving to Spain in March 2001 they have worked hard to earn their reputation as being great entertainers as well as singers. Zodiac is also very popular with the local Masonic Lodges, Bowls Clubs, Social Clubs, etc. as the entertainment for their dinner / dances. For a fun night’s entertainment, get along and enjoy the boys’ show. For more call: 661 179 765. GIGS FOR AUGUST Fri 10th, Monte Vista Pool Bar, Cumbre del Sol Sat 11th, Bar Chapo, Tabiara, Moraira Fri 17th, Bar Quo Vadis, Javea Sat 18th, Bellamy’s Bar, Domeno near Lliria Mon 20th, Tower Lounge, Benidorm: 10.45pm Fri 24th, Monte Vista Pool Bar, Cumbre del Sol Sat 25th, Lemon Bar, Castella Mon 27th, Tower Lounge, Benidorm: 10.45pm All Sundays: Rio Connection Bar, Benidorm: 10 pm All Mondays: Hotel Rio Park, Benidorm: 8.30pm All Tuesdays: Rio Connection Bar, Benidorm: 10pm All Thursdays: Hotel Rio Park, Benidorm: 8.30pm

Gatecrash Saturday Night Live SATURDAY 11TH AUGUST, 9.30pm: Laguna Bar, Javea Karting, Javea: Gatecrash are a ‘must see’ for all Splashes fans, featuring ex-members, vocalist Niamh and guitarist Matthias. Jose and Jose combine to make a very tight Spanish rhythm section along with German vocalist/harmonica player Torsten. Two vocalists make for a dynamic range of material, with some very tight combo playing, songs by Van Morrison, the Beatles and Robert Palmer take on a new flavour. The songs of relative newcomers Duffy and Amy Winehouse are featured along with jazz/blues/rockabilly queen and big Jools Holland favourite, Imelda May. At Laguna, Gatecrash will be on the outside stage so for that extra bit of atmosphere put the date in your diary now.

The Beach Band THE BEACH Band is once again performing at the Chiringquito ‘Xirinbala’ in the beautiful surroundings of Cala Baladrar, (MorairaCalpe coast road) on Monday 13th August at 9.30pm. The line-up will be Ted Sieracki (guitar), Geoff Britton (drums) and Tommy Duffy (bass). They have added a couple of ‘Tommy’s choice’ songs for him to sing and also a couple of old soul, rhythm & blues numbers. The Chiringuito ‘Xirinbala’ organises events on various evenings. As they usually get quite busy, it is wise to book by phoning 607 916 430. You can get directions and full details of this summer’s events by visiting

10 - 16 august 2012



10 - 16 august 2012

Life showbiz goss

Brand´s gold medal in scoffing ALTHOUGH I am aware of the ugliness that is Russell Brand I genuinely carry a small flame of hope that one day he will show us that he´s a decent bloke after all, then I can set about removing the cyanide from this poison pen I´m using. However, sadly the man has snuffed out my candle and continues to perpetuate his pathetic ways. The latest episode in his sad old life comes in the shape of his reaction to having snatched an iPhone from a journalist last March in New Orleans, hurled it through a nearby window and the resulting court ruling for his misdemeanor. Given twenty hours community service for his bad behavior Brand scoffed at the decision remarking “We are our community and service is an honour.” … is that a scoff or what! … Then he added “What will I be doing? I don’t know, tidying up or something

probably,” in the wake of the fact that he had done enough to warrant a prison term that, in my book, comes out as yet more scoffing. I am constantly referring to how, in the

world of celebrity ‘bad’, in an awful lot of cases, comes out as ‘good’, and the news that this extremely unfunny ´comedian´ is to star in a new movie called ´Cupid’ in which he will play the lead role confirms once more that if you get up to no good you´ll go a long way in the world of Showbiz. But we may yet get our pound of flesh as at the time of writing, although Brand’s lawyers did a sterling job to get him off so to speak, he could well still be in for a nasty surprise when he finds out what form his community service will take. Let’s hope it is something along the lines of him joining the team of New Orleans sewer workers called out to some major blockage and they use him as their plunger.


Peter Taylor

Writer and Broadcaster

Let’s hear it for doting David!

I´m sure most of us are conscious of how a father can dote on his daughter, something that can be excused more readily when pop has three sons already and could well be thinking the man upstairs was trying to help him have his own football team. Professional footballer and all-round blueeyed handsome man David Beckham is the father I am referring to and his doting has gone to the lengths of him commissioning none other than Damien Hirst to create a piece of art to hang on the wall of daughter Harper’s nursery. David said rather honestly, “We’ve named it ‘Daddy’s Girl’”… aah bless … then he showed why he is loved by so many people around the world when he added “I’m still amazed we have a little girl: I change her nappy and I’m still amazed that it’s a girl- amazing!” For sure David Beckham’s fan base has now multiplied considerably on the back of this piece of mega daddy-doting.

Gavin and Stacey: more or no more? I was not quite sure about Gavin and Stacey in the beginning as, although I found it amusing, the darker side of the show was so strong it seemed to fall between not being sure if it was a comedy or a drama. That’s all history now of course as the three series and Xmas special proved over the 2007 to 2010 period, and James Corden, who wrote the show with fine welsh actress Ruth Jones, proved how adept they were at performing their own lines with great skill. I´ve brought this item to the column today as its been reported that James and Ruth are being hounded in every quarter to bring the show back to the BBC to which James reportedly said: “It would be a crime not to write more episodes, it’s a great show,” then rather gracefully our hero said “writing with Ruth is a gift, I definitely plan on doing some more.” However - and unfortunately it’s a genuine however - on the back of this reference

to him and Ruth writing more episodes Twitter erupted with James then responding with, “Getting loads of messages about a Gavin and Stacey special. I’m sorry to say there are no plans right now I’m afraid, but maybe one day!” That is a ‘however’ if ever I read one… The reason James said what he said is possibly to do with the astonishing success he is having with a one man stage play called One Man, Two Guvnors which stormed the London stage and won him a Tony award earlier this year and has recently moved to Broadway. Now, a bit like Ricky Gervais after the success of The Office, James is being offered all sorts of big screen projects over in the US of A, which suggests Gavin and Stacey might not resurface for a wee while yet. All together now… booooooo!

10 - 16 august 2012

Life TV


10th - 16th August

FRIDAY 10th August BBC1


06:00 BBC News 06:30 World Business Report 06:45 BBC News 07:00 Olympic Breakfast 10:00 Olympics 2012 12:30 Olympics 2012 14:00 BBC News and Weather 14:30 Regional News and Weather 14:45 Olympics 2012 17:00 Olympics 2012 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 Olympics 2012 23:00 BBC News 23:30 Regional News and Weather 23:40 Olympics Tonight

07:00 Childrens TV 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Cowboy Trap 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 Olympics 2012 15:00 Flog It! 16:00 Ultimate Sports Day 16:30 Ultimate Sports Day 17:00 Sarah Jane Adventures 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:05 Shaun the Sheep 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Olympics 2012 20:00 A Year in the Wild 21:00 Mastermind 21:30 Gardeners’ World 22:00 The Great British Story: A People’s History 23:00 Olympics 2012 23:40 Newsnight 24:10 The National Lottery Friday Night Draws 24:20 The Sarah Millican Television Programme 24:50 EastEnders

SATURDAY 11th August BBC1


06:00 BBC News 07:00 Olympic Breakfast 10:00 Olympics 2012 13:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 13:15 Olympics 2012 15:30 Olympics 2012 18:15 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 18:30 Olympics 2012 20:15 Olympics 2012 23:10 BBC News and Weather 23:30 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 23:40 Olympics Tonight

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 The Scooby-Doo Show 09:20 Dennis & Gnasher 09:35 The Slammer 10:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 10:30 Incredible Edibles 11:00 Cop School 11:30 Copycats 12:00 Splatalot 12:25 OOglies 12:40 Diddy Movies 12:55 Animal Park 13:55 Journey of Natty Gann 15:30 The Quick Gun 17:00 Escape to the Country 17:45 Antiques Road Trip 18:30 Entertaining the Troops 19:30 Flog It! 20:30 Dad’s Army 21:00 BBC Proms 2012 22:20 London: The Modern Babylon 24:25 TOTP2

SUNDAY 12 August

ITV1 07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 60 Minute Makeover 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Murder, She Wrote 16:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Dinner Date 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Tonight 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Granada News 23:35 Bourne Ultimatum




E4 07:00 Switched 07:40 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 08:35 One Tree Hill 09:20 Rules of Engagement 10:15 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 11:15 Ugly Betty 12:10 Desperate Housewives 13:05 Scrubs 13:35 Hollyoaks 14:05 How I Met Your Mother 15:05 The Big Bang Theory 16:00 Rules of Engagement 17:00 Ugly Betty 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 The Big Bang Theory 21:30 2 Broke Girls 22:00 Hot Rod 23:50 Revenge 24:50 The Big Bang Theory

07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Will & Grace 09:20 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:50 Frasier 10:25 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 13:35 The Kitchen Pharmacy 13:50 Love Me or Leave Me 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 22:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 23:35 Angelos Epithemiou Show 24:10 Friday Night Dinner 24:40 Celebrity Bedlam

07:00 Childrens TV 08:45 Make Way for Noddy 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Chopped 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Extraordinary Dogs 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:15 Amber’s Story 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Monkey Life 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Britain’s Strangest Pets 21:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 24:00 The Bachelor

07:10 Emmerdale 07:40 Emmerdale 08:05 Coronation Street 08:35 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 09:25 The Only Way Is Essex 10:25 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:15 The Real Housewives of New York City 12:10 Judge Judy 12:35 Judge Judy 13:00 Emmerdale 14:00 Coronation Street 14:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:40 The Real Housewives of New York City 18:35 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 19:30 Beat TV 20:00 The Cube 21:00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 21:30 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 22:00 Billy Madison 23:50 The Only Way Is Essex






07:00 Mini CITV 08:20 CITV 09:25 Saturday Cookbook 10:25 ITV News 10:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 11:25 The Jeremy Kyle Show USA 12:15 Real Housewives of New York City 13:15 ITV News 13:25 All Star Family Fortunes 14:10 Wild Wild West 16:10 For Your Eyes Only 18:30 Granada News 18:45 ITV News 19:00 Agatha Christie’s Marple 21:00 Midsomer Murders 23:00 ITV News 23:15 Mad Mad World 23:50 Take Me Out

07:05 The Hoobs 07:30 FIM World Superbikes 07:55 British F3 08:20 Channel 4 Presents 08:25 The Grid 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Ibiza Rocks 10:15 V Festival 10:50 New Girl 11:20 Revenge 12:20 Suburgatory 12:55 Summer Daze 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:25 The Simpsons 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Channel 4 Presents 17:15 Come Dine with Me 19:20 Channel 4 News 19:50 19:55 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button 23:00 The Million Pound Drop Live 24:50 A Prophet

07:00 Childrens TV 10:00 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:15 The Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers Samurai 11:35 Batman: The Brave and the Bold 12:10 Looney Tunes 12:15 Animal Rescue Squad 12:35 Big Brother 13:35 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 14:35 Sands of the Kalahari 16:35 Jesse Stone: Sea Change 18:20 Avalanche Express 20:05 5 News Weekend 20:10 NCIS 21:10 NCIS 22:00 Big Brother 23:10 CSI: Miami 24:05 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation






07:00 Mini CITV 08:20 CITV 09:25 Dinner Date 10:25 House Gift 11:25 There’s No Taste Like Home 12:25 The Hungry Sailors 13:25 ITV News 13:30 Grimefighters 14:00 The Community Shield Live 16:50 Escape to Victory 19:00 You’ve Been Framed! 19:30 Granada News 19:45 ITV News 20:00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 22:00 A Touch of Frost 24:00 ITV News 24:15 The Community Shield Highlights

07:10 Road to London 2012: Paralympics Extra 07:35 Triathlon 08:30 Surfing Special: The Endless Winter 08:55 Channel 4 Presents 09:00 Will & Grace 09:30 Will & Grace 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Frasier 11:00 Sunday Brunch 13:25 The Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Big Bang Theory 14:25 The Simpsons 14:55 The Simpsons 15:25 Nine Months 17:20 Entrapment 19:25 Deal or No Deal 20:25 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 Thelma’s Gypsy Girls 23:25 Wedding Crashers

07:00 Childrens TV 09:30 Angelina Ballerina 09:40 Rupert Bear 09:55 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:10 The Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Jelly Jamm 11:00 Power Rangers Samurai 11:35 Batman: The Brave and the Bold 12:10 Looney Tunes 12:15 Big Brother 13:25 The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 15:10 Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue 16:40 The Karate Kid Part II 18:50 The Goonies 20:55 5 News Weekend 21:00 Once Upon a Time 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Cradle 2 the Grave

06:40 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 The Hot Desk 07:10 The Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:35 The Biggest Loser 08:25 Emmerdale 11:05 Coronation Street 13:40 Winners & Losers 14:30 The Only Way Is Essex 15:15 The Only Way Is Essex 16:00 The Xtra Factor 17:00 The Xtra Factor 18:00 The Xtra Factor 19:00 The Xtra Factor 20:00 Land of the Lost 22:00 Benidorm 23:00 The Only Way Is Essex 23:45 Lemon La Vida Loca 24:30 Analyze This

07:00 Switched 07:50 Scrubs 08:40 The Crush 09:15 Summer Daze 09:55 Hollyoaks 12:25 T4 in Edinburgh 12:40 Smallville 13:40 Rules of Engagement 14:40 T4 in Edinburgh 14:55 How I Met Your Mother 15:20 Ugly Betty 16:15 Charlie’s Angels 17:15 New Girl 17:40 Suburgatory 18:10 Revenge 19:05 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 The Big Bang Theory 20:30 The Big Bang Theory 21:00 Fantastic Four 23:05 Rude Tube 24:05 2 Broke Girls 24:35 New Girl

06:45 ITV2 Nightscreen 07:00 The Planet’s Funniest Animals 07:20 Coronation Street 09:25 Emmerdale 12:25 Take Me Out 13:35 Models, Misfits and Mayhem 14:35 Holiday Showdown 15:35 America’s Got Talent 17:30 America’s Got Talent 18:25 The Flintstones 20:15 Mr Bean’s Holiday 22:00 The Xtra Factor 23:00 The 40 Year Old Virgin

07:00 Switched 07:25 Heartland 08:10 Life Unexpected 09:05 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow 10:05 Supernanny US 11:05 Jo Frost: Extreme Parental Guidance 12:10 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow 13:10 Supernanny US 14:05 How I Met Your Mother 15:05 Scrubs 16:05 Desperate Housewives 17:00 Revenge 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 20:30 Rules of Engagement 21:00 Rules of Engagement 21:30 Suburgatory 22:00 The Waterboy 23:45 The Big Bang Theory 24:15 The Big Bang Theory 24:40 The Midnight Beast



06:00 BBC News 06:30 HARDtalk 07:00 Olympic Breakfast 10:00 Olympics 2012 11:45 BBC News 11:50 Olympics 2012 14:20 Olympics 2012 17:00 Olympics 2012 20:00 BBC News; Regional News and Weather 20:30 Olympics 2012 22:00 Olympics 2012 24:30 BBC News 24:50 Live at the Apollo


07:00 Childrens TV 09:50 Shaun the Sheep 10:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 10:30 Junior Bake Off 11:00 Saturday Kitchen Best Bites 12:30 Raymond Blanc: The Very Hungry Frenchman 13:30 Escape to the Country 14:15 Olympics 2012 16:35 Weather for the Week Ahead 16:40 Flog It! 17:25 Eisteddfod 2012 with Cerys Matthews 17:55 Songs of Praise 18:30 Coast 19:00 Oceans 20:00 Antiques Roadshow 21:00 Exploring China: A Culinary Adventure 22:00 The Dark: Nature’s Nighttime World 23:00 Glorious 39


10 - 16 august 2012

Life TV

10th - 16th August

MONDAY 13th August BBC1





07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News and Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:30 Animal 24:7 13:13 BBC News 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Project Parent 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Food Factory 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 EastEnders 22:30 Mrs Brown’s Boys 23:00 BBC News 23:35 A Question of Sport 24:10 Room 101: Extra Storage

07:00 Childrens TV 11:40 Woolly & Tig 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 Animal Park 13:05 The Gay Falcon 14:10 A Date with the Falcon 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Celebrity MasterChef 20:00 Escape to the Country 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Lorraine’s Fast, Fresh and Easy Food 22:00 The Riots: In Their Own Words 23:00 James May’s Things You Need to Know 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 The Dark: Nature’s Nighttime World

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let’s Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Murder, She Wrote 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Dinner Date 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Countrywise 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Ruth Rendell’s Thirteen Steps Down 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Granada News 23:35 Real Crime 24:35 In Plain Sight

07:15 The Hoobs 07:40 The Hoobs 08:05 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Will & Grace 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 Channel 4 Presents 14:10 Quick Bakes with Eric Lanlard 14:20 The Colditz Story 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Dispatches 21:30 Simply Italian 22:00 Escape from Colditz 23:35 Secrets of the Pickpockets 24:40 Coming Up

07:00 Childrens TV 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Chopped 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Hero Animals 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 NCIS 16:10 A Nanny’s Secret 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Monkey Life 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cowboy Builders 21:00 Frontline Police 22:00 Big Brother 23:30 Big Brother’s Bit on the Side 24:25 Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Coronation Street 08:15 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 09:10 Judge Judy 09:40 The Only Way Is Essex 10:25 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:15 The Real Housewives of New York City 12:10 Judge Judy 12:35 Judge Judy 13:00 Emmerdale 13:30 Coronation Street 14:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:40 The Real Housewives of New York City 18:35 Judge Judy 19:00 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 20:00 The Xtra Factor 21:00 The Cube 22:00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 23:00 Lemon La Vida Loca 23:45 Something’s Gotta Give

TUESDAY 14th August



07:00 Switched 07:45 Supernanny US 08:25 One Tree Hill 09:10 Rules of Engagement 10:10 Supernanny US 11:05 Ugly Betty 12:05 Desperate Housewives 13:00 Scrubs 13:30 Hollyoaks 14:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 The Big Bang Theory 16:00 Rules of Engagement 17:00 Ugly Betty 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 New Girl 21:30 Suburgatory 22:00 Revenge 23:00 Beaver Falls 24:00 The Inbetweeners 24:35 Celebrity Bedlam








07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News and Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:30 Animal 24:7 13:13 BBC News and Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News and Weather 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Serious Explorers 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Accused 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News 23:35 Traffic Cops 24:35 EastEnders

07:00 Childrens TV 10:45 The Koala Brothers 10:55 Lunar Jim 11:05 Kerwhizz 11:30 Driver Dan’s Story Train 11:40 3rd & Bird 11:50 Waybuloo 12:10 In the Night Garden 12:40 Animal Park 13:10 Falcon Takes Over 14:15 Falcon’s Brother 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Celebrity MasterChef 20:00 Escape to the Country 21:00 The Great British Bake Off 22:00 The Midwives 23:00 Rob Brydon Show 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 The Riots: In Their Own Words

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let’s Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Murder, She Wrote 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Dinner Date 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Countrywise 21:00 Lewis 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Granada News 23:35 The Specialist

07:05 Channel 4 Presents 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Will & Grace 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:00 Baking Mad with Eric Lanlard 14:30 Siege of the Saxons 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 22:00 Seven Dwarves 23:00 Thelma’s Gypsy Girls 24:25 Best of British

07:00 Childrens TV 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Chopped 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:10 My Neighbor’s Keeper 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Monkey Life 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 21:00 Extraordinary People 22:00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 23:00 Person of Interest 24:00 Big Brother’s Bit on the Side

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Coronation Street 07:50 Coronation Street 08:15 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 09:10 Judge Judy 09:40 The Only Way Is Essex 10:25 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:15 The Real Housewives o f New York City 12:10 Judge Judy 12:35 Judge Judy 13:00 Emmerdale 13:30 Coronation Street 14:00 Coronation Street 14:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:40 The Real Housewives of New York City 18:35 Judge Judy 19:00 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 20:00 America’s Got Talent 22:00 Hell’s Kitchen USA 23:00 Passenger 57 24:55 Bowfinger

07:00 Switched 07:45 Supernanny US 08:30 One Tree Hill 09:15 Rules of Engagement 10:10 Supernanny US 11:05 Ugly Betty 12:05 Desperate Housewives 13:00 Scrubs 13:30 Hollyoaks 14:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 The Big Bang Theory 16:00 Rules of Engagement 17:00 Ugly Betty 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:30 The Big Bang Theory 22:00 New Girl 22:30 Suburgatory 23:00 The Midnight Beast 23:30 The Cleveland Show 24:00 The Ricky Gervais Show 24:35 Facejacker

WEDNESDAY 15th August BBC1







07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:30 Animal 24:7 13:13 BBC News and Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News and Weather 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Jedward’s Big Adventure 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 The Flowerpot Gang 22:00 Who Do You Think You Are? 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News 23:35 The National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Have I Got News for You

07:00 Childrens TV 10:45 The Koala Brothers 10:55 Lunar Jim 11:05 Kerwhizz 11:30 Driver Dan’s Story Train 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Animal Park 13:00 The Falcon Strikes Back 14:05 The Falcon in Danger 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Celebrity MasterChef 20:00 Escape to the Country 21:00 Restoration Home 22:00 Vexed 23:00 The Culture Show 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 The Midwives

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let’s Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News and Weather 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Murder, She Wrote 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Dinner Date 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News and Weather 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live International Football 23:10 ITV News at Ten 23:40 Granada News 23:45 International Football Highlights 24:45 Grimefighters

07:05 Channel 4 Presents 07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Will & Grace 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 Channel 4 Presents 14:10 Malta Story 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 SuperScrimpers 22:00 24 Hours in A&E 23:00 Sex Story: Fifty Shades of Grey 24:05 2 Broke Girls 24:35 Best of British

07:00 Childrens TV 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Chopped 13:10 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 14:15 Hero Animals 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:15 Chinese Food in Minutes 16:20 Backyard Wedding 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Monkey Life 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 The Hotel Inspector 21:00 Britain’s Strangest Pets 22:00 Celebrity Big Brother 24:00 Celebrity Big Brother 24:30 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Judge Judy 07:55 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:55 The Only Way Is Essex 09:40 The Only Way Is Essex 10:25 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:15 The Real Housewives of New York City 12:10 Judge Judy 12:35 Judge Judy 13:00 Emmerdale 13:30 Nanny 911 14:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:40 The Real Housewives of New York City 18:35 Judge Judy 19:00 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 20:00 The Cube 21:00 America’s Got Talent 22:00 Peter Andre’s Bad Boyfriend Club 23:00 The Only Way Is Essex 23:45 Billy Madison

07:00 Switched 07:45 Supernanny US 08:30 One Tree Hill 09:15 Rules of Engagement 10:10 Supernanny US 11:05 Ugly Betty 12:05 Desperate Housewives 13:00 Scrubs 13:30 Hollyoaks 14:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 The Big Bang Theory 16:00 Rules of Engagement 17:00 Ugly Betty 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 18:30 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 19:30 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 Cheaper by the Dozen 2 23:00 Celebrity Bedlam 23:35 Rude Tube 24:40 The IT Crowd

58 10 - 16 august 2012 THURSDAY 16th August BBC1







07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Heir Hunters 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News and Weather 12:00 Saints and Scroungers 12:30 Animal 24:7 13:13 BBC News and Weather 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 Escape to the Country 16:00 BBC News 16:05 I Want My Own Room 16:35 Splatalot 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Roy 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News Programmes 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 The BBC 999 Awards 22:30 John Bishop’s Britain 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News and Weather 23:35 Neighbourhood Watched 24:20 Is Football Racist?

07:00 Childrens TV 10:45 The Koala Brothers 10:55 Lunar Jim 11:05 Kerwhizz 11:30 Driver Dan’s Story Train 11:40 Woolly & Tig 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 Animal Park 13:05 The Falcon and the Co-Eds 14:10 The Falcon Out West 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Real Rescues 16:45 The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Antiques Road Trip 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Celebrity MasterChef 20:00 Escape to the Country 21:00 Hairy Dieters: How to Love Food and Lose Weight 22:00 The Best of Men 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 Rob Brydon Show 24:50 Ewan McGregor: Cold Chain Mission

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Let’s Do Lunch with Gino & Mel 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Murder, She Wrote 16:00 Secret Dealers 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 Midsomer Murders 18:00 Dinner Date 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Jennifer Saunders: Back in the Saddle 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Granada News 23:35 The Talent Show Story 24:35 Poms in Paradise

07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 According to Jim 08:55 Will & Grace 09:25 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:55 Frasier 10:25 Come Dine with Me 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 A Place in the Sun 14:05 The Nutty Professor 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 The Restoration Man 22:00 Peter Kay Live: The Tour That Didn’t Tour - Tour 23:55 Verry Terry 24:30 Brass Eye

07:00 Childrens TV 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:20 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Abby’s Flying Fairy School 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 Celebrity Big Brother 14:10 5 News Lunchtime 14:15 Hero Animals 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:10 Cheating Fate 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Monkey Life 19:30 5 News at 6.30 20:00 Cricket on 5 21:00 9/11: The Woman Who Wasn’t There 22:00 The Hotel Inspector 23:00 Celebrity Big Brother 24:00 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the Side

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Judge Judy 07:55 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 08:55 The Only Way Is Essex 10:25 The Real Housewives of Orange County 11:15 The Real Housewives of New York City 12:10 Judge Judy 12:35 Judge Judy 13:00 Emmerdale 13:30 Nanny 911 14:30 The Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 The Real Housewives of Orange County 17:40 The Real Housewives of New York City 18:35 Judge Judy 19:00 Jeremy Kyle Show USA 20:00 A Cinderella Story 22:00 Benidorm 22:30 Benidorm 23:00 Lemon La Vida Loca 23:45 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 24:15 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 24:45 Hell’s Kitchen USA

07:00 Switched 07:45 Supernanny US 08:30 One Tree Hill 09:15 Rules of Engagement 10:10 Supernanny US 11:05 Ugly Betty 12:05 Desperate Housewives 13:00 Scrubs 13:30 Hollyoaks 14:00 How I Met Your Mother 15:00 The Big Bang Theory 16:00 Rules of Engagement 17:00 Ugly Betty 18:00 How I Met Your Mother 19:00 The Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 The Big Bang Theory 21:30 How I Met Your Mother 22:00 2 Broke Girls 22:30 New Girl 23:00 Franklin & Bash 24:00 Beaver Falls

CROSSWORD SOLUTIONS CRYPTIC SOLUTIONS Across: 6 Matches; 7 Bound; 9 Act; 10 Breakdown; 12 Close second; 15 Dance for joy; 17 Stampeded; 19 Tip; 21 Media; 22 Drought. Down: 1 March; 2 Ice; 3 Bear; 4 Conductor; 5 Untwine; 8 Raiser; 11 Blackmail; 13 Soften; 14 Bay-tree; 16 Right; 18 Eire; 20 Cue.

QUICK SOLUTION Across: 6 Display; 7 Later; 9 Due; 10 Delivered; 12 Drunkenness; 15 Precipitate; 17 Conscious; 19 Top; 21 Felon; 22 Clarity. Down: 1 Minus; 2 Apt; 3 Rate; 4 Paternity; 5 Release; 8 Bisect; 11 Precision; 13 Napkin; 14 Crooked; 16 Booty; 18 Ugly; 20 Ire. WORDWHEEL: NOSEDIVED

What’s on Viva TV this week VIVA TV broadcasts on the Torresat Networks every day from 2.00pm until 10pm. To find out what else they are showing this week, you can view all their programmes and see their full listings at In the meantime, to whet your appetite, RTN highlights every week some of their brilliant programmes, starting tonight, Friday 10th August at 6pm with FAQ which looks at safety on the beach for you and your family. Tomorrow, Saturday 11th at 6pm is time for Celebrity Archive with Simon Baldock who interviews James Best, the son of one of Britain’s finest ever footballers. On Sunday 12th at 7.30pm, The Hayes Guide features Dave and Jess as they follow the route of the little known Orihuela Coastal Walk. On Monday 13th at 7pm it’s time for

Let’s Talk with one of the Costa’s most respected entertainers Nick Gold and on Tuesday 14th, at 6.30pm Elche’s Palms shows how a city grew round a humble tree to become one of the richest in the South of Spain. On Wednesday 15th at 6pm, Let’s Talk Special features Frank Worthington who was one of England’s most audacious and infamous talents. Finally on Thursday 16th at 6pm, Spanish Dive Adventures discovers the amazing sights that lie just off the Spanish coast. This is just a highlight of the great programmes made by Viva TV; tune in now to see much more or visit their website at

10 - 16 august 2012

Life cars


Brian Deller Author of Motoring in Spain

Diesel particulate filters: what are they? Part 2 FOR AUTOMATIC cleaning it usually is necessary to drive the vehicle after an indicator light comes on the instrument dash board, and with the engine running at a relatively high RPM as heat is needed as part of the cleaning process. Diesel cars that are used mainly in city streets run at low RPM and can easily suffer from blocking of the filter with a resulting dramatic lowering of engine power. If it gets to that stage it is usually a service operation in the workshop to clean the filter and the costs of this can vary from 200€ to 400€. But if you regularly take the car for an open road run and drive it at say 100kph for 20 minutes this will usually keep the filter clean. Another requirement is a ‘low ash’ engine oil, which is the oil used to lubricate the motor. Low ash means that the oil is especially formulated to leave very few carbon deposits when it is burnt in the combustion chambers in very small quantities during normal use. This reduces the amount of soot that is generated while normal running is in progress. The general oil now recommended is SAE 5W-30 synthetic (sintetico) oil. This oil is not expensive if purchased at a supermarket but I have been shocked at what I was charged by our Ford Dealer workshop after the 70,000km service on our 2008 Focus - 56€ plus IVA, whereas I could have

The general oil now recommended is SAE 5W-30 synthetic

bought it at the local major super-market a wellknown brand of oil for 27€ including IVA. It pays to shop around and know what you need. As I have advised before, synthetic oil is made ‘artificially’ from selected chemicals as opposed to the ordinary mineral oils the bulk of which comprise oil from out of the ground. All the latter mineral oils have additives anyway to improve the oil’s features, but synthetic is far superior,

especially as it only costs a few Euros more but can last twice as long with much better safety features. Be safe out there because the locos are out on the roads again as summer is here. I have a special device in our new Focus to stop the car going too fast. It is called a wife who shouts at me when she thinks I am going too fast (It is not me: it is the car) often avoiding the locos, but still below the posted speed limits. But that is life.

There is much more detailed information on all motoring subjects in my book. Brian Juan (John) Deller, Malaga, author, ‘Motoring in Spain’ Tel: 666 888 870 Brian Deller, author, book Motoring in Spain, ISBN No 978 84 611 9278 6. Shops’ addresses in my web site at:

Over 50 + cars in stock

We buy cars for cash..

Open Mon – Fri 9:30 – 19:00 - Sat 9:30 – 14:00

Tel: 966 730 116 or 672 072 720 - - Email:

Visit us at La Zenia, Orihuela Costa



FORD FOCUS 1.6i TREND “2007” 6995 €



FORD MONDEO 2.0 TDCI FUTURA X “2007” 7500 €


NISSAN MICRA 1.2i VISIA “2010” 7995 €

HYUNDAI GETZ 1.1i GLS “2008” 6995 €

OPEL CORSA 1.2i COMFORT “2002” 2995 €

PEUGEOT 207 SW 1.6 HDi CONFORT “2008” 8995 €

MAZDA “6” 2.0i ACTIVE - NEW SHAPE “2008” 11995 €


SKODA ROOMSTER 1.4 TDI HANDY “2007” 7995 €

* EX DEMO * PEUGEOT 308 1.6i 16v CONFORT “2010” 10995 €

* OFFER * CITROEN C4 PICASSO 1.6 HDi SX+ “2008” 10995 €

HYUNDAI MATRIX 1.5 CRDi GLS “2005” 5500 €

FORD FOCUS 1.6i TREND+ “2008” 7995 €

* AUTO * SKODA FABIA 1.4 TDI COMBI “2008” 8995 €

* EX DEMO * HYUNDAI i30 1.6 CRDi CLASSIC “2011” 11995 €


* AUTO * SKODA OCTAVIA COMBI 1.9 TDI AUTO “2007” 10995 €

* 5000kms *



CHEVROLET AVEO 1.4i LS “2008” 7995 €

PEUGEOT 206 + 1.1i “2010” 7500 €

2 X CHEVROLET MATIZ 800 “2006” 3500 €


NISSAN XTRAIL 2.0 DCI XE 4x4 “2009” 14995 €

* AUTO * NISSAN QASHQAI 2.0 DCi AUTO 4X4 “2009” 18995 €

HYUNDAI i10 1.0i CONFORT “2008” 6995 €



PEUGEOT 307 2.0i AUTO XT “2005” 5995 €

FORD FOCUS SEDAN 1.6TDCi TREND + “2009” 8995 €

CITROEN C3 1.1i FURIO “2007” 5995 €

KIA CERATO 1.6i GLX SEDAN “2005” 5995 €

NISSAN QASHQAI 2.00 DCi TEKNA “2009” 16995 €

* 1 OWNER *

* 38Tkms * FORD FOCUS 1.8 TDCi SPORT TREND “2008” 9500 €

* AUTO * SKODA OCTAVIA EST 2.0 TDi DSG AUTO “2008” 11995 €

* AUTO * VW PASSAT 2.0 TDi DSG AUTO ADVANCE “2008” 11995 €

FORD FOCUS EST 1.6TDCi TREND “2010” 9995 €

* HI SPEC * AUDI A4 2.5 TDI CABRIO AUTO “2003” 11995 €


HONDA JAZZ 1.4i GRAFITE “2005” 5995 €

* AUTO * PEUGEOT 308 2.0 HDi 136 AUTO SPORT “2008” 11995 €

* 3 colours FORD FOCUS EST 1.6 TDCI TREND + “2008” 8995 €


PEUGEOT 207 1.4i CONFORT - DEMO “2009” 7995 €



AUDI TT ROADSTER 1.8T CABRIO 163BHP “2006” 13995 €


2 X KIA RIO 1.3LS SEDAN & HATCH “2004” 3500 €

FORD FOCUS EST 2.0 TDCi TREND + “2009” 9995 €




Tel.: 965 368 274

Cars S.L.

We Buy, Sell & Part Exchange Quality British & Spanish Cars Transfer Documents Completed Competitive Insurance Quotes. All cars Fully serviced and valeted






















Aprilia SCOOTER SR50 2006 50 c.c


€39,995 ONE OWNER 28,000klm




ONE OWNER 9000klm



Part ex to clear







€4,995 ONE OWNER




Opening hours Mon - Fri 9-6pm (No siesta) Sat 10-1pm. Find us next to Petrol Station TORREMENDO 10 Minutes inland from San Miguel, Los Montesinos & Junction 751 on the AP7 towards Orihuela. Torremendo turning on CV95 towards San Miguel

NEW CARS available to view in our showroom in CALPE 2006 RENAULT SCENIC 1.9 dci diesel, dynamique, 2008 SEAT LEON 2.0 TDi DIESEL STYLANCE MODEL..dark silver

metallic, grey sports trim, alloys, climate, CD, cruise, low kms

WAS 12,995€ NOW 10,995€

2010 NEW MODEL, BMW730 D AUTOMATIC deep sea blue metallic with oyster leather, navigation, park assist etc, huge spec, too much to list, cost new 90k. 34,950€. 2007 DODGE RAM 5.7 HEMI pick up new model. Claret red met with bently diamond stitched leather. Nice spec. Absolutely awesome!! Low kms..........18,995€ 2010 alfa Romeo mito 1.6 diesel, black with red leather, very high spec, low kms... 14,995€ 2007 NISSAN QASHQAI 2.0 dci diesel 6 speed, pearl white metallic with charcoal trim, climate, alloys, CD, cruise, 1 owner...........................................13,995€ 2006 OPEL ASTRA GTC DIESEL SPORT bright red with grey trim, AC, alloys, 1 owner

WAS 6,995€ NOW 5,995€

2010 FORD FOCUS TREND PLUS 1.6 tdci diesel, graphite silver with charcoal trim, climate, alloys, C/D, nice spec, 1 owner, low kms…...........................10,995€ 2003 BMW X5, 4.4 SE AUTO silver with black hide, full spec…......................................................10,995€ 2007 TOYOTA AVENSIS D4D diesel 5 door hatch, platinum metallic, alloys, climate, 1 owner, low kms............................WAS 10,995€ NOW 9,995€ 2003 Volvo XC90 AWD AUTOMATIC 7 seater, silver with black hide, alloys, climate, hifi, roof rails, electric sunroof..............................................................9,995€ 2007 HYUNDAI TUCSON 4 x 4 2.0 diesel, style, crystal jade metallic with black leather, privacy glass, alloys, A/C, CD, etc…......................................9,995€ 2007 NEW MODEL SMART AUTOMATIC Ferrari edition met red & silver, with charcoal trim, A/C, alloys, CD, panoramic roof, low kms superb!........... 8,995€

blue metallic with black trim, alloys, climate, CD, etc, low kms............................................................7,995€ 2007 FORD FOCUS 1.6 TREND 5 door, light blue met,AC, CD, low kms, immaculate.... WAS 6,995€ NOW 5,995€ 2007 ford focus 1.6 trend 5 door, silver with grey trim, A/C, C/D...................….WAS 6,995€ NOW 5,995€ 2005 MAZDA 6 ts2 2.0, 5 door hatch, blue met, with black trim, climate, alloys, cruise, BOSE hi-fi…...5,995€ 2006 OPEL ASTRA GTC DIESEL SPORT bright red with grey trim, AC, alloys, 1 owner..WAS 6,995€ NOW 5,995€ 2002 Opel zafira 2.0 dti diesel elegance.7 seater,denim blue met, with black trim, a/c, c/d, alloys, 1 owner................................................ 4,995€

2004 TOYOTA RAV 4 1.8 VVTi 5 door, silver with grey interior, AC, CD etc.. WAS 7,995€ NOW 6,995€ 2005 HYUNDAI GETZ 1.1 gl, hatchback, white with grey trim, a/c, c/d, full main dealer service history, 1 lady owner, superb...........................................3,995€ 2007 PIAGGIO MP3 3 WHEEL SCOOTER…....2,995€ 2001 Renault MEGANE COUPE 1.9 dci diesel, emerald met, with black half leather trim, A/C, alloys, stereo, PX to clear…....................2,495€ 2002 OPEL ASTRA 1.6 denim blue met, A/C, CD, PX to clear.......................................................1,995€ 2001 FIAT BRAVO 1.6 HATCHBACK silver with blue trim, A/C, PX to clear…......… WAS 1,295€ NOW 995€

2003 Volvo XC90 AWD AUTOMATIC 7 seater, silver with black hide, alloys, climate, hifi, roof rails, electric sunroof......9,995€


2008 PEUGEOT PARTNER COMBI 1.6 HDI DIESEL, dark silver met, Tax & MOT 2013…..................…7,995€ 2001 FIAT BRAVO 1.6 HATCHBACK silver with blue trim, A/C, PX to clear…......................................................…995€ 1998 Renault scenic. 1.6. 5 door, blue with grey trim, AIR CON! PX to clear..............................................................795€

CASH FOR YOUR CAR Tel: 965 876 030


10 - 16 august 2012

Are they within the rules? Noel’s world of golf By Noel Eastwell Teaching Professional Campo de Golf El Plantio 639 730 891

OVER THE last year or so the long handled putter has won more major championships than the traditional putter despite the fact that a club is not supposed to be anchored to any part of the body. These putters are now finding their way into the bags of amateur golfers as well. The opinion of those who do use them is that they are definitely easier to use from around the six to eight foot range when under pressure. Pressure is part of the game and the use of these putters to me gives players a big advantage if they are fitted for them correctly. The touring professionals use these putters after they have been fitted for them by experts. Therefore they are the perfect length and lie-angle and loft for their stroke. The average amateur golfer will purchase one off the shelf; mainly because they have seen the players use them on television and the putting strokes look easier to execute when it comes to the par saving putts in particular: the problem with the off the shelf long putter is that it is very unlikely to fit you properly as described earlier. Even though the putter can be fitted for you is it worth purchasing one now that - after far too long - the Royal & Ancient and the USGA are considering banning them? Some of the game’s top players are far from happy that it has taken so long to take action against these putters even though some, such as Tom Watson, could putt considerably better with one. Graeme McDowell is of the opinion that they will certainly be banned when the authorities meet later this year to discuss the matter. Ian Poulter has recently said: “If I was in charge I would ban the long putter tomorrow. It states quite clearly in The Rule Book that the club cannot be anchored to the body. Well, why on earth is the club touching your chest or belly button if it

isn’t anchored? I hope they make the right decision.” I agree completely with Poulter. The players using these putters have a big advantage in more ways than one. Nowadays players are using them to take free drops and penalty drops and are gaining massive advantages over those who use more traditional clubs to take the same type of drop. Putting is part of the game and rules are rules so why has it taken so long for the people in power to have the guts to do something about these apparent rule breakers? I wonder if it has anything to do with equipment manufacturers. WIN A ROUND OF GOLF FOR 2 INCLUDING BUGGY AT THE BEAUTIFUL EL PLANTIO RESORT IN ALICANTE Answer the question below correctly to have a chance to win. The winner of this fantastic prize will be picked at random at the end of each month. Send your entries by email to The decision of the editor of RTN will be final in making the winning selection. QUESTION FOR 10TH AUGUST 2012 US Golfer Ricky Fowler traditionally wears what colour on the final day of tournaments? A. Red B. Green C. Orange All answers must be received no later than 5pm on 31st August 2012 to be entered into August’s draw, which will be made on 1st September. The winner will be announced in RTN on 7th September 2012.

Any questions you have for Noel should be sent to FREE GOLF LESSON FOR ALL NEW RTN GOLF MEMBERS – SIGN UP NOW, LIMITED OFFER!!!

The Professional Scene JIM FURYK was the man to set the pace from the first day at The WGC Bridgestone Invitation last weekend and with his usual steady play most golfers thought that once he got ahead he would not be caught. Defending US PGA Champion Keegan Bradley had other ideas although he did leave it as late as possible to snatch the lead. Over a golf course where once again accuracy off the tee became paramount the big hitters complained that the fairways were too narrow. Keeping the ball on the fairways was the only way to get any control over the ball when hitting to hard fast greens and it was a surprise to many that the likes of Donald and Westwood did not feature at the top of the leaderboard from the off. Westwood’s disastrous eleven over par in round two made sure he did not contend as he went from level par to eleven over in one easy lesson. Donald hung around a little longer and was headed by Justin Rose who has been showing fine form of late. Keegan Bradley was s surprise winner twelve months ago at the USPGA Championship and has since proven he was a worthy winner. His solid par on the 72nd hole on Sunday to secure a final round of 64 against the bogey of front runner Furyk secured his second big win and elevated him to new heights in the World Golf Rankings in 15th place. Luke Donald stays top of the list with Tiger Woods in second place and Westwood slipping to 4th place. With his recent performances Justin Rose has now risen to the top of The Race to Dubai ahead of Open Champion Ernie Els and the reliable Louis Oosthuizen. Rose can all but secure top spot with a win this weekend at The US PGA Championship; however; Luke Donald really feels his time has come to win a major championship and with the tight fairways and slick greens he should feature strongly. GOLFING TIP OF THE WEEK A clear mind will always perform better than a cluttered mind. NOEL EASTWELL GOLF ACADEMY AT EL PLANTIO Quality coaching at reduced rates for RTN Golf Club members: contact Noel on 639 730 891.

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andrew james is... The Man in the Middle


The Push for Promotion

SO ANOTHER tournament ends in penalty heartbreak for British football fans as Team GB crash out at the quarter final stage. In fairness, while it would’ve been fantastic to pick up a medal on home soil, had we beaten South Korea, a semi-final against Brazil would almost certainly have been the end of the line so, realistically, bronze was the best we could’ve hoped for. Still, having some international football to cheer about for once would’ve made a refreshing change! Thankfully though, the “real”

football is back next week as The Championship and Premier League get up and running once again. We’ll have a look at The Premiership next time but for now I’ll give you my thoughts on who I think will win promotion to the “promised-land” and be dancing in champers come the end of the season. I’ll also be the first to admit that we probably don’t cover The Championship as much as we should on these pages so any

thoughts and opinions on how you think your team will get on over the coming months will be gladly received and I’ll try to feature a club from arguably the most competitive league in English football at least once a month. Anyway, the season kicks off with eternal nearly men Cardiff, who entertain Huddersfield next Friday evening. The Welsh club will probably be there-or-there-abouts again in May but given their play-offs record, I’d say they need to finish first or second otherwise it’ll be an all too familiar tale of “so near and yet so far” for the Bluebirds (who now play in red!?). Blackburn and Bolton, having been relegated last season, will be aiming to make a swift return but Ewood Park manager Steve Kean is probably in more danger of getting sacked than getting them promoted and Bolton will do well to hang on to the very few quality players they had last year. All in all, I’d say it’s too tall an order for both the North West clubs. Nottingham Forrest, who came close last year, could be a team to watch with the backing of their new Kuwaiti owners but, if I was a betting man, my money for promotion would be on Leeds United. The sleeping Yorkshire giant’s been in the football wilderness for almost ten years now and while they perhaps don’t have the best the squad, the manager, Neil Warnock, has a proven track record of guiding clubs to the Premier League and I think his experience could be the difference. And speaking of the top division, the season’s curtain raiser, The Community Shield, takes place this Sunday with last year’s champions, Man City, taking on FA Cup winners, Chelsea. Obviously, the “Oil-Firm Derby” will have no bearing on where the Premier League title will end up but I’m sure Chelsea will be looking to showcase their expensive summer signings and lay down a marker for the coming season so I fancy a win for Roberto di Matteo’s men. This Week in “The Lions”: Fri 10th Aug: Olympic Bronze Medal: Japan v S. Korea (8.45pm) Sat 11th Aug: Olympic Gold Medal: Mexico v Brazil (4pm) Sun 12th Aug: The Community Shield: Man City v Chelsea (2.30pm)

Any questions or opinions you have for Andrew should be sent to


10 - 16 august 2012

Andy Kay

The Final Whistle

Olympic Diary - I was there

What an extraordinary night it was in the Olympic Stadium on Saturday. Can there ever have been a more exciting evening in the history of British athletics? Or, to be more accurate, a more exciting 46 minutes? With the success of Team GB as a whole, and in particular the rowers and cyclists, Britain’s top athletes needed to deliver. And on Saturday they spades. It’s hard to imagine just what pressure Jessica Ennis must have been under coming in to the Games. Very much the poster girl of London 2012 she was, according to pundits and fans alike, a nailed on certainty for gold. But in such a technical event as the heptathlon, believe me, nothing is certain. But Jess was just supreme.

Fishing Maggots End by

Over the seven events, she set three new personal bests including a new national record in the 100 metres hurdles. To finish it all off with victory in the final event, the 800 metres, was just magnificent. Before Jess took gold, Greg Rutherford was doing his thing in the long jump pit. Now officially recognised as Britain’s favourite ‘Ginger’, Rutherford leapt to glory as he coped with the wind and cool conditions better than everyone else. Just before he received his medal, I had the pleasure of interviewing him for the 80,000 strong crowd and it’s a moment I’ll remember for a very long time. So too, the wall of noise that grew and grew as Mo Farah raced to 10,000m gold in the final event of the night. Farah added the Olympic title to his World Championship gold and silver medals to cement his position as the current dominant force in middle distance running. The final action of the night saw Jess pick up her medal. The ceremony was slightly delayed but did any of the crowd leave the stadium? Not a chance. When

WINTER CHAMPIONSHIP 11 matches with the best 8 to count 1st - Dave Hoare with 23 points 2nd - Dave Hutchinson with 27 points 3rd - Bill Reade with 37 points SUMMER CHAMPIONSHIP 9 matches with the best 6 to count 1st - Dave Hoare with 11 points 2nd - Ian Dalzell with 13 points 3rd -Dave Hutchinson with 22 points SUMMER LEAGUE 6 matches with the best 5 to count 1st - Ian Dalzell with 15 points 2nd - Dave Hutchinson with 25 points 3rd - Dave Hoare with 26 points KNOCK OUT COMPETITION with 22 entrants 1st - Lenny Bolton

2nd - Alan Roscoe 3rd - Terry Screen President’s Trophy - Bill Reade Annual Charity Match - I Dalzell Memorial Match - D Hoare Ladies’ Champion - M Hutchinson SPECIMEN TROPHY Won with a 4.50 kg carp - P Hampshire Gary Smith 12 Man Team match Abbey Anglers RTN Team match - Rods and Reels Coast Rider Trophy Team match Rods and Reels PLEASE NOTE The club has some vacancies at present: if you are interested in joining please contact Derek Swann on 96 672 9293 or 603 535 771. ABBEY ANGLING RESULTS Supplied by Terry Screen The 9th round of the Summer Series was fished on the Eden Stretch on 31st July. The reeds and the bank side vegetation grow at an alarming rate, pegs that were cleared only a few weeks ago are now almost overgrown. There is a good algae bloom in the water but very little flow, and the fish were reluctant to feed with only one

double figure weight. 1st - Bill (The Master) Reade with 15.100kg fishing the pole using corn and paste 2nd - Terry (Swing ‘Em) Screen with 9.880kg fishing the pole using paste and pellet 3rd - Dave (The Sweetie Man) Hutchinson with 7.840kg fishing the pole using pellet and paste

ASTOUNDING Between the two brothers they have racked up an astounding nine race wins, as well as 13 second positions and a further 8, third positions. Anthony is currently 2nd in the Catalan championship and 4th in the Spanish championship, with older brother Mat currently 2nd in the SM30 Catalan championship and also 2nd in the SM30 Spanish championship. But the first half of the season has not been without difficulties with both riders complaining of a lack of front tyre grip due to suspension problems and a disastrous round of the

Penalties settle charity football match

All details are available at www. or from the Match Secretary Terry Screen on 96 532 8368. Anglers Together THE OBJECTIVE of Anglers Together has been reached (which was to introduce anglers to each other). Now that newcomers to Spain are few and far between we have decided that monthly meetings are serving no useful purpose and the friendships that have been made over the past four years are now firmly established. We will continue to provide information through our email address if contacted but there will be no membership renewals in May. Thanks to all past members for their support. Email:

Mid season break for Supermotoland THE SUPERMOTOLAND team will be having a few well deserved weeks off now before racing commences again in September. But the break in the racing calendar doesn’t mean a relaxing holiday for the team by the swimming pool, as they are continuing to test and develop their SML450 Supermoto bikes over the summer period to start the second half of the season in top form. The first half of the season has been phenomenal with both of the team’s riders, Anthony and Mat Ford-Dunn rarely finishing off the podium and both brothers running strongly in their respective championships.

Real Stars Having surpassed the medal total that was achieved in Beijing in 2008, it’s no wonder that the UK press has gone Olympic gaga. Gold medallists are front page material and what a pleasure it is to read about their endeavours, sacrifice and success as opposed to the Z list celebrities that normally get far more column inches than they deserve. As a parent, I’d much rather my kids read about the exploits of Sir Chris Hoy or Bradley Wiggins as opposed to the likes of Kim Kardashian who, as far as I can discover, owes her fame for not wearing all that much and for saying “awesome” every 3 minutes. RTN’s Andy Kay is the trackside presenter and interviewer for athletics at the Olympic Stadium.

For further details ring Alan Roscoe 968 570 876 or email:

David Hoare 968 199 279

THE MONTH of August is our closed season before we start again at the beginning of September. Also, the anglers can spend another day a week with their loved ones for one month, which for some might be enough! The following is a list of all the cup and team match winners.

the moment came, the noise was quite unbelievable. I was only a few yards away from the podium and can quite honestly saw that I have experienced nothing like it in my life. What a night. What a 46 minutes. And what an honour to say ‘I was there’.

Anthony and Mat Ford Dun

Spanish championship at Villarcayo, Burgos where Anthony suffered a front tyre puncture in both of his races and Mat crashed heavily in practice, requiring medical treatment. Finally the team seem to be making headway with their front suspension problems and new adjustable triple clamps from Italy are being tested to try and give more front end grip. The team is next in action at the Mora d’ebre circuit in Catalunya on the 16th September for the 5th round of the Catalan championship. Further race reports and updates can be found on the team’s website at

The match was close

THE CHARITY football match, which was held at the San Fulgencio football ground and was in aid of the AECC, welcomed more than 500 spectators last weekend. The match, between locals from the La Marina urbanisation and the San Fulgencio Local Police, ended 2-2 after full time and after a tense penalty shoot out, the policemen came out victorious. The idea for the match and the charity it would benefit came from Paul ‘Doc’ Docherty who was himself unexpectedly diagnosed with colon cancer last September and is currently being treated in Torrevieja Hospital. MEAN MACHINE Doc has an aggressive form of cancer and is undergoing a gruelling weekly treatment regime, but despite that he always has a smile on his face and RTN thinks that he is an inspirational and an amazing man. Between his treatment, his work as a painter and time with his young family, he organised the event and seven members of his family will be part of his ‘Mean Machine’ team which played against the Local Police team. A family fun day followed the match with a pool party at the outdoor pool next to the football ground, a bouncy castle, live music, a giant paella and lots of fun and laughter, with everyone having a really great time. The full amount raised from the event will be announced in the next couple of weeks

FC Torrevieja news

Last Wednesday Torry played at local Regional Preferente side UD Horadada and won 4-0 courtesy of a brace of goals from Connor Heffernan, one from Ramiro and an OG. Last Saturday they entertained Murcian Tercera side Real Murcia Imperial. Again they ran out worthy winners with goals from Burguillos, Gasch and Rafa. On Saturday evening they play away to Regional Preferente side Thader (Rojales) and on Wednesday evening away against Pinatar (San Pedro). Season tickets and Torry Army memberships are available from the Torry Army office in San Luis Mon-Sat from 10am -12pm and at the ground at home matches.

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POOL LEAK REPAIR SPECIALIST’S Pipe leaks pressure tested, detected and repaired. Structural leaks investigated and repaired. Professional, consciencious service to the highest standards. Refurbishments and upgrades undertaken. Replacement pumps, filters, salt systems, ph regulators and accessories supplied and installed. All work guaranteed. British trained in the UK pool industry with over 15 years experience. 8 years served on the Costa Blanca. Torrevieja and surrounding areas including Costa Calida. Tlf:- Pristine Pools on 966-774-199 or 678-080-500 www. SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE AND CLEANING SERVICE BY POOLTECHSPAIN. We are a fully legal, qualified and registered business who have been operating on the Costa Blanca for 6 years. We offer a professional, reliable, safe and efficient pool service, inc. re-grouting, pressure testing and leak repairs. Private and community swimming pools undertaken. Call now for more information on 965725-565 or mobile 676-945-360/ 620-743-048


WANTED - PROPERTY OF UP TO 275,000€ Min 2 bedrooms in Alicante/ Murcia region. Offered in exchange a commercial/investment property in the UK value 139,950 pounds. Up to 100,000€ in CASH + UK PROPERTY. for more information on this unique opportunity email: Register your property for FREE at and when we sell your property we will charge you absolutely nothing! The average time it takes us to sell a property is 8 weeks. Register now at www. – you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Jacuzzi & Spas JACUZZI, HOT TUBS & SPAS Quaility American spas at factory prices. Also spares, filters and repairs. Used and ex display spas available. We part ex and buy spas, best prices. Established 9 years in Spain. Eurospas 650 722 905

TRANSLATOR Fluent Spanish & English. Available for Hospital, Doctors Nie and Residencias. Benidorm & La cala areas. 15€ per hour. Call Charlie 667196328 or 645713247 QUALIFIED TRANSLATOR Bi-lingual Spanish-English and high level French and German. Confidential and reliable accompaniment service. Competitive rates. Torrevieja and surroundings. Virginia 629201192.

ONLINE SPANISH LESSONS Improve your self-confidence when speaking Spanish. Native teacher. www.

WE GET YOUR GOODS TO YOU FAST! Unbeatable shipping and handling service from the UK’s premier online adult retailer http://www.sexjunky. es FREE Delivery on ALL UK Orders! No minimum spend - Royal Mail Super Saver Delivery is FREE! Spend over £30 - Royal Mail Tracked Delivery is FREE! Spend over £50 - Interlink Next Day UK Delivery is FREE! Delivery to Spain is only £10. £10 off your first order when you spend over £50 SPRING OFFER Super strength little blue helper Costa Blanca South, contact Steve 682 454 519. THOSE LITTLE GET YOU UP BLUE PILLS are now available from Tony on 638 352 129. LOOKING FOR COMPANY? Do you want to explore your sexual fantasies with beautiful Brazilian and Oriental ladies? 24 hours, hotel or home visit Telephone 689526354 PLEASURE HOUSE TORREVIEJA Sexy girls from South America. Come and enjoy, low rates from 40€. Address: Calle Finlandia. 682-776-068

FOR ALL SHAPES AND SIZES OF SHOWER and bath screens call Don the Showerman on 96 579 2285 or 639 292 081. Immediate delivery on all products from our stock. See our advert on Page 5 North for a map to our showroom

UKTV FOR ONLY 15€ PER MONTH Introducing a brand new English Satellite TV Service in HD. 150 English TV & Radio Channels. NO INSTALLATION CHARGE. NO MINIMUM CONTRACT. Option to add more channels. Call Iberswitch TV now for more details: 966 265 089

Properties for sale

POOL HEATING SYSTEMS 8x4, 1500€ fitted. Any size made. For info tel: 675878601/965078483 or email

VILLA FOR SALE Moraira - Villa (2 attached properties): 190 sqm, plot: 800 sqm, 3 beds, 2 baths, kitchen, dining-lounge, naya + 2 beds, 2 baths., kitchen, dining, lounge, naya, patio. Pool 9 x 4. Small, mature garden. Culde-sac, attractive location, sea views from roof terrace. Needs refurbishment. €199,000 (reduced from €249,000). Details & photos available. 966462794 or 3 BED APARTMENT ALTEA LA VELLA 110m squared, 3 double bedrooms - 2 with patio doors and balconies and mountain views, 1 bathroom, 1 shower room, separate fully fitted kitchen, large living room with 2 patio doors onto large terrace with mountain views and open views onto orange groves, large trastero and private parking space. Central village location. 1 min walk to supermarket, bars, restaurants, pharmacy, bus stop. 2 mins to AP7 motorway. Private sale. 170,000€. Tel: 617 893 036 or email: MOBILE/PARK HOMES ON CAMPING PUEBLO IN SAN JAVIER FROM 17,000E CAROL 96 819 24 25 MOB 626 055 622 EASILY MAINTAINED, DETACHED F/F,2 BED VILLA in l´Alberca, Polopde-la-Marina. 249m2 flat plot. Lots of extras. Solarium with 360º views of sea and mountains. Community pool and Gardens, easy and low maintenance. 123,000€ Tlf Lynn: 966-881-048/691202-307 or email for photographs and more information

MICK WITH HIS VAN Removals Collections Deliveries. For a reliable effective service. Hourly rate or quote. Call Mick anytime 600-247-535 SPANISH LINKS Removals & deliveries Spain/UK/Spain. Last jobs minute undertaken. Best prices. www. Tel UK 0044 (0)1209 843971 or Spain 678 756 644. FIRST CLASS DOOR TO DOOR SERVICE To and from Spain with a single box 35 Euros to a full load. Call today for free advice and a free no obligation quote tel: 676 582 333 or +44 1268 728 855 EUROMOVE4U Full & Part Loads. Spain to UK/UK to Spain on a regular monthly basis. Cars & Motorcycles transported. Call Grant or Jan Office 0034-965-300-959 Mobile 0034-648102-529 UK Mob 0044-7803-893-719. Email SPAIN2UK2SPAIN MAN AND VAN departing Costa Blanca twice a month.

SKY SUPPLIES Humax, Freesat and SKY+HD box`s from 60e. 1.0m dish system complete/fitted from195e. Full Sky (Sports/Movies all HD) from 15e/ month. LNB`s, Realignment, Advice and Backup. 966194013/600899096. CRYSTAL CLEAR SATELLITE AND INTERNET TV Freesat High Definition from 299€ on 1m dish. 12 months Sky package 200€ Steve 660 186 505 Ros 965 584 097

WANTED Jet Skis and Quad Bikes. Call 650 722 905 JACUZZI, SPA & HOT TUBS WANTED Working or not. Call 650 722 905 I BUY RECORDS LP’S SINGLES AND CD’s ANY STYLE, JAZZ, BLUES, POP, PUNK, ROCK, ETC... TOP CASH PAID. 622 750 117 TURN YOUR UNWANTED FURNITURE Electrical, Household Goods and Bric-a-brac into Cash. Anything! Anywhere! 965-319-220/618-165-877

10 - 16 august 2012


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10 - 16 august 2012


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RTN North Edition 669  

RTN North Edition 669

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