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Your English Newspaper


Issue 628


North EDITION No luggage on Benidorm buses a ban on luggage being carried on buses was imposed on Monday through Ordinance No 1 on ‘Mobility’. The ban is to remain in place until new measures are approved. p4

Your English Newspaper

Issue 628

28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Albir community gathers for new medical centre opening

Edmundo Ros dies aged 100

LEGENDARY BAND leader and musician Edmundo Ros OBE has died and a private funeral service for family and close friends was held at Javea Crematorium on Tuesday morning. p5

The Spanish Property Inheritance Tax time bomb Find out if you-re sitting on a time bomb and what to do if you are. p24

Winter is coming stay warm with Excel MARK BLACKLOCK has been a Central Heating and Air Conditioning Installer for 10 years, having trained as a Heating engineer in the UK. p39

Haka nonsense

What do you make of the New Zealand Haka? Personally I’m a bit bored by the whole thing. Many people seem to think that the Haka is special and that in many ways, it defines New Zealand rugby. p58

Dawn and Amanda with their team of Medical Specialists

FOLLOWING APPROXIMATELY three months of building work the new Medical Centre in Albir has opened its doors. To mark the occasion an opening ceremony took place on Tuesday at the new premises called the ‘Family Medical Centre’. RTN owner Geoff Gartland was the guest of honour cutting the ribbon and declaring the centre open. Read the full story on page 19.

Fish spas bite back

by Jack Troughton OWNERS OF fish spas across the Costa Blanca have reacted with anger at tabloid headlines that the beauty treatment risks clients contracting HIV and Hepatitis. The Sun used banner headlines to attack the “fad”, already a favourite with a number of celebrities, after the Health Protection Agency (HPA) published a detailed report on the growing number of fish spas in Britain. However, the industry - which offers pedicures and other skin treatments using the tiny fish which remove dead skin cells by ‘nibbling’ away – have slammed the newspaper for being sensationalist about a natural therapy used for thousands of years. Experts warned that those with weak immune sys-

tems, small cuts or nicks, or suffering diabetes or psoriasis should not use spas. The HPA discovered infections could be transmitted from fish to person, from contact with contaminated water, or from person to person whilst sharing the same tank. The watchdog added the risk was “very low” for healthy people. HYGIENE And consultant epidemiologist Dr Hilary Kirkbride, of the HPA, said: “Provided that good standards of hygiene are followed by salons, members of the public are unlikely to get an infection from a fish spa, however, the risk will be higher for certain people.” There are now thought to be over 30,000 around the world and a growing number across the Alicante region. Continued on page 3


28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

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28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011 Continued from front page The treatment uses hundreds of Garra Rufa fish. A toothless carp, and also known as the ‘doctor fish’ and the ‘nibble fish’, they feed on dead skin cells by loosening them with their lips – their mouths actually contain a natural antiseptic. And while the fish get to work, water is constantly being filtered through the spa pools. Soothing in itself, the treatment is like a tickling sensation or receiving tiny electrical shocks. Seb Mason, of the Natural Fish Spa, Javea, said salons in Spain had joined those in the UK in hitting back at the Sun front page – and added owners and managers of well run spas actually welcomed the HPA findings. SAFE “The Sun could have written the report in a completely different way, they could have said how safe it was,” he said. “There are about 3,000 spas registered in the UK over the last six months and probably half were put out of business overnight. “People I have spoken to have read the article and say they are not bothered – I have read the HPA report and the risk of

Brits arrested with 50 kilos of cannabis TWO BRITISH nationals have been arrested after being apprehended while under surveillance in Benidorm in possession of 50kilos of cannabis stowed in their vehicle. The cannabis was discovered by police packed into two suitcases in a van owned by another British citizen who was later released after questioning. Two property searches were conducted in Alfaz del Pi and Jávea during investigations in which officers confiscated a laptop, electronic scales, 9mm ammunition, a counterfeit currency detector and 2,000€ in cash. Three top of the range vehicles have also been impounded.

Little fish at work

catching anything is very low as long as hygiene standards are kept up.” Seb added: “A doctor specifically told me the only way you could catch anything like HIV or Hepatitis was if someone jumped into the pool with a gaping wound. “Our water is constantly sterilised and cleaned through the filters – it is probably 10 times cleaner than the water in the average communal swimming pool.”

Three cars per week burned in Javea town centre

Burnings are the work of arsonists say police

RESIDENTS IN central Javea are sleeping with one eye open following a week in which no less than three cars were burned at night. In the central district area of Thiviers a burning car exploded at around 4.30am on Monday, with smoke and soot staining the frontage of a nearby restaurant overlooking the parked car. Police are investigating the burnings, considered to be the work of arsonists.


21 OCT 28 - 27 OCT - 3 NOV 20112011

Couple die in flash flood by Jack Troughton

BRITISH HOLIDAYMAKERS Kenneth and Mary Hall died after being swept away as a wall of water struck a Costa Blanca market last Friday. The couple, aged 72 and 70, were sitting at a cafe stall at the tiny seaside resort of La Cala, just to the south of Benidorm, when a metre high wave struck after heavy rain inland – although it had remained dry in La Cala itself. Flood water suddenly came gushing into the ravine – controversially paved over with asphalt – with enough force to wash away cars, market stalls and dislodge stones from the steep sides of the dried-up waterway. It is understood Mr and Mrs Hall, from

Bootle, Merseyside, were trapped under a vehicle in the swirling water and attempts to clear debris to reach them failed. Five other people were injured in the incident, two needing hospital treatment. It was feared a 90-year-old woman had also lost her life but she was later found safe and well. POWER One witness said: “The water came down the hill in a big wave. It was so powerful it broke stones away from the wall and then part of the wall fell and was carried along down the hill. “An elderly couple who were at the market, which is near the beach, got swept away.

New marina berths to be frozen in the region THE DIRECTOR of Marina de Denia and President of the Association of Tourist Marinas and Valencia, Gabriel Martinez, explained the need to halt construction of new berthing facilities “until supply and demand have been more evenly balanced across the provinces of Castellón, Valencia and Alicante” at a meeting in Madrid. It was suggested that serious consequences have been the result of an unsustainable price war throughout the summer as the boating industry was hit hard by the crisis, forcing abnormally low rates. “In our community the ports have ceased to be a scenario of nautical operations, becoming a strategic tool in terms of tourism, acting as a source of income an economic engine of wealth and job creators,” said Martinez.

Kenneth and Mary Hall

There was a big panic, everyone tried to help but couldn’t. It all happened in just a second.” In Spain emergency flood alerts are made when 40 litres of water fall per square metre – Friday’s downpour saw just 7.2 litres. Last October Finestrat Town Hall was fined 83,000€ by the local water authority after the

ravine bed was asphalted over without permission – and in its ruling the Hydrographic Confederation said the ‘rambla’ should not be used for a market. The council has appealed the ruling and maintains the work was carried out by a private company managing the market in 2004.

No luggage on Benidorm buses

THE JOURNEY to Benidorm centre from the bus station could shortly cost around five times more for passengers due to a ban on luggage imposed on Monday through Ordinance No 1 on ‘Mobility’. The ban is to remain in place until new measures are approved that are concerned with anchoring loose items of luggage on board municipal buses, condemning tourists and other travellers carrying bags to take a cab. Compared with the 1.10€ bus fare, a taxi ride over the same distance is around 6€ - 7€. The move is seen as madness by those with an interest in tourism in the city, especially as no other European city imposes such stringent safety regulations. The Councillor for Mobility, Mari Carmen Martinez, promoter of the proposal at the request of CDL, said yesterday that Monday’s agreement is “a first step - an initial approval,” adding that “claims may be filed” within 30 days.

Edmundo Ros dies aged 100 by Jack Troughton

LEGENDARY BAND leader and musician Edmundo Ros OBE has died peacefully in his sleep at his Costa Blanca home two months short of his 101st birthday. Born in Trinidad, he is credited with making Latin American music popular in postwar Britain and filled dance floors playing a string of hits while radio and television performances made him a household name. During a colourful career, Edmundo sold millions of records and performed for the crème of society, including the Royal Family. The Queen, then Princess Elizabeth, danced in public for the first time to his music – and Edmundo and his orchestra were regularly invited to play at Buckingham Palace. Among his most popular songs were Yellow Bird, Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps, and the Coffee Song – which contained the immortal lyric: “They’ve got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil.” A dedicated Freemason, Edmundo ‘retired’ in 1975 after parting company with his band ‘Edmundo Ros and His Orchestra’ and moved to Alicante with his wife Susan, making their home in Javea. Recently, he lived at the Benimeli Club Residential but continued to enjoy the company of a wealth of family and friends. ORCHESTRA Born Edmund William Ross in Port of Spain in December 1910, the family moved to Ca-

racas, Venezuela, where later he became a tympanist in the Symphony Orchestra of Venezuela. He arrived in London in 1937 to study at the Royal Academy of Music but moved into the world of popular music and played drums in Fats Waller recordings and sang and played percussion in Don Marino Barreto’s Cuban band. Fast becoming the perfect English gentleman, he began to be a major influence on the capital’s music scene and performed for both high society and wartime leaders such as Churchill and De Gaulle – a 1939 Melody Maker headline witnessed his growing popularity with the headline: “He came...he saw...he conga’d”. And in 1951, Edmundo bought the Coconut Grove’s expiring lease and reopened as Edmundo Ros’s Supper and Dance Club. According to his website, only those mentioned in ‘Who’s Who’ qualified for membership and it became a playground for Royals, military leaders, Hollywood stars and British aristocrats. It also had a legendary door policy – both actor Peter O’Toole and King Hussein of Jordan were refused entry for over-casual dress. STAR In the fifties, Edmundo became an international star and regularly broadcast on the BBC and also appearing on top stage shows and the television. His popularity reached its peak in the early sixties before ‘pop’ music saw the decline of the Latin sound. In 1994 Edmundo conducted and sang with the BBC Big Band with Strings at The Queen Elizabeth Hall, followed by a This Is Your Life programme and in 2000 a BBC documentary followed, entitled ‘I Sold My Cadillac to Diana Dors’ – the same year he was awarded the OBE in the New Year’s Honours List. John Adrian, secretary of show business charity the Grand Order of the Water Rats, said “He was a major figure, one of the biggest names. “When you get to 100 you stop working. He retired in 1975, but between ’39 and ’75 he was a big, big name, had his own club in London and played around the world.” Edmundo is survived by his wife Susan and a son and daughter. A private funeral service for family and close friends was held at Javea Crematorium on Tuesday morning.

Euro MPs want a bigger budget despite Euro crisis GREEDY EURO MPs have caused fury by requesting a ridiculous €6.5 billion budget rise for 2012 while national governments desperately trim expenditure and as the single currency teeters on the edge of ruin. Britain’s David Cameron, Nicolas Sarkozy of France and German Chancellor Angela Merkel had all called for a budget freeze on the European Union budget.

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Line of succession to change in Britain by Jan Gamm THE BRITISH line of succession is at last set to change following the Queen’s approval to change the 300-year-old Act of Succession, allowing a first-born daughter to take the throne ahead of her brothers. The change would allow a daughter born to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge the right to become monarch ahead of younger male siblings. British Prime Minister David Cameron said earlier this month that he had written to Commonwealth leaders to canvass their opinions on the move. Commonwealth minister Lord Howell has said he expects the leaders of the 16 Commonwealth countries to agree to the reform at the Perth summit this month. Such matters tend to be time-critical - in Britain’s case since the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton it is important that the issue is resolved before the arrival of their children.

Spain’s future queen the sixyearold Infanta Leonor

More destinations lost as Ryanair trims its service By Jan Gamm LOW COST airline Ryanair has removed 9 of its 11 aircraft based at Alicante’s El Altet airport serving 31 destinations amidst claims from CEO Michael O’Leary that the move will mean the loss of 2 million passengers, 2,000 jobs and €30 million in annual revenue. O’Leary said on Tuesday in Alicante that had airport authority AENA been supportive over the use of air bridges at El Altet Ryanair would have removed only 10 destinations this winter. The outlook for the 2012 summer season is yet to be established. O’Leary has acknowledged that “some” of the cancelled flights will be re-established with the exact percentage unconfirmed. Among the 31 routes are: Aarhus, Bournemouth, Cork, Doncaster, Kaunas, Maastricht, Marrakech, Oslo Torp, Palma, Paris Beauvais, Pisa, Pozna, Santander, Stockholm Vast, Valladolid, Venice, Zaragoza.

An interesting result in the imminent change in the law could mean that Princess Anne the Princess Royal would precede her younger brothers Princes Andrew and Edward and move from tenth in line to the throne to fourth. SPAIN The Spanish monarchy has already resolved to follow the female line of succession. The Infanta Leonor, presently

Destinations with a reduced frequency from Friday will be: six years old, will therefore inherit the Birmingham, Bologna, Bristol, Brussels, Charleroi, Dublin, crown from the present Crown Prince Dusseldorf Weeze, Edinburgh, Frankfurt Hahn, Glasgow Felipe and Princess Letizia regardless of Prestwick, Krakow, Leeds Bradford, London Gatwick, whether the couple bear a son. The ap- London Stansted, Madrid, Manchester, Milan Bergamo, Oslo propriate legislation will be passed in Gardermoen, Santiago, Seville, Stockholm Skavsta the event of a son being expected. O’Leary is determined not to compromise Ryanair’s Pressure for change has been build- business model, insisting that when the airline began to ing since the marriage of Prince William operate out of Alicante five years ago it was “expressly” and Kate Middleton, with MPs calling without the use of jet ways (air bridges). Now, he says, AENA for the issue to be resolved before any is imposing a unilateral use of air bridges on airlines in an attempt to carry the costs of an airport that is “over-sized.” future royal children are born. For more information visit

Naughty ads on buses stir up controversy

THE COUNCILLOR for Infrastructure in Valencia, Isabel Bonig, fielded questions today concerning public service buses in the region carrying ‘suggestive’ advertising pictures and slogans. Complaints have been brought claiming that the ads are an ‘affront to public dignity’. Speaking to reporters after launching a forum on public infrastructure, Bonig responded by saying, “You cannot cancel and advertising contract just like that, erotic or otherwise.” She also stated, however, that her department’s Legal Service is “looking at the possibility that, through the General Law on Advertising, you can establish some kind of limitation, with a view to maintaining public dignity.”

28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011

Global Optical Chain chooses Benidorm for Costa Blanca expansion

Specsavers will open in Benidorm next month

GLOBAL OPTICAL retailer Specsavers Opticas has chosen Benidorm as the next target of its Spanish expansion, and will open in the town on 16th November 2011. This will be the fourth Specsavers store to open in the Costa Blanca region and the sixth in Spain. It represents another step in the ambitious expansion plans revealed by leading business newspaper Dossier Empresarial in April 2011. The opening of the Benidorm store gives the Costa Blanca the highest concentration of Specsavers Opticas stores in Spain. Other Specsavers Stores can be found in Calpe, Javea and Torrevieja on the Costa Blanca, Fuengirola on the Costa del Sol and Santa Ponça in Mallorca. Business Development Manager José Ángel Moral-Tajadura explains why Benidorm has been chosen for the next phase of the brand’s expansion; “Benidorm has over 120,000 residents with an estimated 13,000 British residents familiar with the Specsavers brand. We are delighted to be able to bring the Specsavers formula of affordable eyewear plus topnotch professional service to Benidorm.” The store will be located in c/ de Gambó 2: call 0034 96 585 9577 to make an appointment. EXPANDING DESPITE THE RECESSION Specsavers Optics announced earlier this year that they will expand across costal Spain. They are currently scouting for top

optical entrepreneurs to take up Specsavers Opticas franchise partnerships in more towns across this region, and due to increasing customer volumes a number of stores are recruiting new staff members. Jose Angel explains, “It may seem a strange time to expand, but the Specsavers partnership formula has proven successful even in recessionary times. In today’s economic climate, consumers want top quality eye care at affordable prices.” ABOUT SPECSAVERS Specsavers is a family-run business with more than 1,500 stores in the U.K., Republic of Ireland, The Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Finland, Australia, New Zealand and Spain. They have earned a reputation as a ‘consumer champion’ in ten countries, offering customers clearly priced, affordable eyewear plus top-notch professional service. Specsavers was founded by husband-andwife opticians Doug and Mary Perkins in 1984, and remains at its core a family-run business today. The Perkins’ vision is “to passionately provide best value eye care to everyone, simply, clearly and consistently, exceeding customer expectations every time.” The company has grown into the world’s largest privately-owned optical group with an annual turnover of more than €1 billion.


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28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Sun sets on cheats by Jack Troughton

Normal Price Homeclean Price 3 Piece Suite from €120 from €60 2 Piece Suite from €100 from €50 Leather Suite Price on application Carpets Price on application Oriental Rugs Price on application Curtains in Situ Curtains Full Length from €90 €45 Curtains Half Length from €80 €40 Mattresses cleaned Single €20 and Double €30 Marble Floors Cleaned and Polished

BENEFIT CHEATS enjoying an expat lifestyle abroad while defrauding UK taxpayers are continuing to be caught out and are being rewarded with a criminal record. It is estimated between April 2010 and March this year, cheats stole £79 million in benefits by failing to inform the authorities they were going abroad – and Spain is one of the most popular destinations. However, UK investigators working with overseas colleagues are hitting back and benefit thieves are being caught – as James Bowery found out while enjoying life in Malaga while living off UK income support. The 54-year-old from Harrowside, Blackpool, failed to tell the Department for Works and Pensions he was heading for the sun and fraudulently claimed more than £15,000. Last month he pleaded guilty to fraud at Blackpool Magistrates Court and was sentenced to a three month curfew order – restricting his freedom to leave home – and was ordered to pay back the cash. CHANGE A DWP spokesman said people claiming UK benefits had a responsibility to inform the department of any change in circumstances, such as moving in with a partner, changing address or going or moving abroad. People failing to take care of their claim and failing to keep the DWP updated and knowingly allowing a small overpayment to build up will face a £50 penalty as a deterrent. The spokesman added: “Deliberately withholding information that affects a benefit claim is a crime. “At a time when it is more important than ever that the correct money goes to the correct people, the general public can helpstop benefit cheats. The DWP wants benefits to go to the people who are entitled to them, not the cheats.” And the DWP in Spain has set up a free and confidential hotline operating Monday to Friday from 8am until 6pm. By calling 900 554 440 in Spain the public can give information about anyone they suspect of committing UK benefit fraud. This can also be reported online at:

Computer problem causes fallout in Alicante clinics

HEALTH CENTRES in Alicante were out of action for almost three hours on Tuesday morning following a total failure in the computer system that rendered patients’ records unavailable. Such failures are becoming more frequent, alleged to be the result of overload. The Department of Health announced that maintenance was carried out during the night to revive the system following software problems that began at 8.30 in the morning. While the computer system was nonfunctional, hundreds of patients were unable to make an appointment or request a prescription. As a result, doctors are faced with a huge backlog of waiting-room patients.

Not enough business in Barcelona for Dreamliner

JAPANESE AIRLINE Spanair, purchaser of 55 units of the long-awaited Dreamliner 787, has confirmed that flights will run from Haneda Tokyo to Beijing and Frankfurt from December 2011. When asked whether flights to Barcelona were on the table, a spokesman for the airline said a firm decision is still under consideration due to Barcelona being principally a tourist destination and lacking in business passenger traffic: Dreamliner is tipped to be the businessman’s choice. As much as US$30,000 was paid at a charity auction to win a seat on Dreamliner’s maiden flight: a 4hr journey of 3,000 miles over the South China Sea to Hong Kong.

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Big Benidorm Pride LAST WEEKEND saw Benidorm celebrate its first ever Gay Pride. The three day long event attracted visitors to the city from all over Spain and Europe and it was a fine example of excellent organisation and good natured fun. by Louise Clarke Pride started with a fantastic launch party on Thursday evening at the Queen’s Hotel in the Old Town. Hosted by the Queens Group owner and Pride’s main organiser, Julia Grant, the party was a get together for some of the event’s main acts including top DJ and Music Producer, Pete Martine. Friday saw the main parade take place through the streets of Benidorm. More than five thousand people were estimated to have watched the procession of nearly 20 floats make its way along the main Paseo on Levante Beach to the Town Hall and then into the L’Aigüera Park, where the main stage was located. BLING Music and entertainment was then the order of the day with the main stage and the other two stages; one outside The Queens Hotel and the other outside Open Mind, hosting several drag acts and musical concerts. Everywhere you looked there were rainbow flags flying and it was interesting to see the reaction of the mainly older generation, who have probably not seen such a spectacle in their lives! At times it was difficult to ascertain whether the ladies were actually ladies, such was the glamour and physique on some of the participants! With diamonds, feathers and ‘bling’, they looked absolutely gorgeous! I was quite envious of them! There was also an outrageous element to the parade with several gobsmacking sights including one portly man sporting just a thong and glitter throughout the duration of the parade and into the evening! GAY TOURISM The entertainment, which included eighties pop chick Sonia, continued throughout the weekend and the whole event was

deemed to have been a great success, especially as it was the first ever Pride to take place in the City. The weekend was fully endorsed and supported by the Benidorm Town Hall and organiser Julia Grant had everything covered with an army of volunteers on hand to help visitors, tourists and artists alike. A Spokesman for the Town Hall told RTN: “It is the Town Hall’s intention to promote Gay Tourism here in Benidorm throughout the world. This will diversify what Benidorm has to offer and provide more economy into the city through tourism.” DJ and Producer Pete Martine, who has sold and produced millions of CDs with various artists, was also a guest DJ at the Frenetika Party, which took place at the Underground club on Friday night (well it was the early hours of Saturday morning, if we are being totally honest!). He told RTN: “It has been an absolute pleasure to be here this weekend and to be involved in Benidorm’s first ever Gay Pride. I will definitely be here again next year and I hope that this event will be added to the European Gay Pride Calendar.”

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Bring it on! by Louise Clarke DOCKSIDE TENSIONS are running high in Alicante this weekend as the countdown to the most competitive Volvo Ocean Race in its 38-year history enters its final stage. Tomorrow, Saturday 29th October, the Iberdrola InPort Race, a close-quarters sprint around a short course, will mark the start of the 201112 edition of the world’s toughest and longest professional yacht race. Previously known as the Whitbread Round the World Race, the event has been taking place since 1973 and months of preparation and training will be put to the test as the fleet of state-of-the-art 70ft racing yachts go head-to-head in Alicante Bay at 2pm, in the first points-scoring race of the event. ENTERTAINMENT With free entry for all, the Alicante Race Village is set for a fantastic weekend and for British children here on half term holidays, it will certainly be an event to tell their classmates about when they return home. The Race Village features a host of at-


tractions including a 3D cinema, a simulator recreating the feeling of sailing a Volvo Open 70 at 25 knots, a winch-grinding challenge and a zone dedicated to entertaining children. IT’S TIME Taking part are: Team Sanya; Abu Dhabi Ocean Racing; CAMPER with Emirates Team New Zealand; Team Telefónica; Groupama sailing team and PUMA Ocean Racing powered by BERG. And all are looking forward to what will be a gruelling challenge. American skipper Ken Read, who will lead PUMA Ocean Racing into battle, said: “Let’s get this show on the road. Two years of preparation is finally coming to a close. It’s time, we’re ready. Bring it on!” EIGHT MONTHS The format of the race sees points scored in both in-port racing and offshore legs. In each port the teams will compete for 18% of the total points up for grabs. The rest of the points are awarded for the nine offshore legs that will see the teams battle it out over 39,000 nautical miles through four oceans.

21 million tourists can’t be wrong ACCORDING TO the Spanish Ministry of Tourism and Trade, Spain received almost 21 million tourists throughout the summer, the number of visitors between June and September increasing by 8.5% over the same period in 2010. “The summer season for 2011 stands as the third best in Spain’s history of tourism,” said Miguel Sebastián, Spanish Minister for Tourism, speaking at a press conference this week.

The team with the most points at the end of the eight-month race will win the coveted Volvo Ocean Race trophy. Volvo Ocean Race CEO, Knut Frostad, told RTN: “Everything is ready, and all we need now is for the weather to turn up – fingers crossed for sunshine and lots of wind. The Race Village will be packed with people, the racing will be great. It’s going to be a ball. Come along and enjoy!”

TV COVERAGE Both the Iberdrola In-Port Race and the start of Leg 1 will be streamed live at alongside a live blog. Fans can also follow the race via Facebook and Twitter and TV coverage begins Saturday, 29th October at 1.45pm on TDP (TeleDeporte) and Canal Nou with continuing coverage on 5th November. It will also be shown on Sky Sports. Check local listings.

Telefónica open all night to sell the iPhone 4S

TELEFÓNICA IS to open overnight on Madrid’s Gran Via to sell the Apple iPhone 4S starting from midnight today (Friday) to allow customers to be the first proud owners of Apple’s latest contribution to techno fans. As with previous versions the 4S will be heavily subsidised with different rates available depending on the term contract and the data rate chosen. The terminal purchased online at the Apple Store costs 599€ euros in its 16GB version, and the 32GB 699€, with the larger capacity (64GB) 799€. And despite the crisis, in the United States over its first weekend of sales more than 4 million units were despatched into the hands of iPhone lovers, the biggest sales achieved by any phone, and more than double the sales of its predecessor the iPhone 4 during the first 3 days.

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That’s Fast Track Hypnosis!

WHEN I commenced in practice over 25 years ago in Belfast, I never dreamed that I would also have clinby ics in Spain. People often ask me why my style of Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy is different from the conventional Hypnotherapist and how a problem can The Costa Blanca’s be sorted out so fast. It all stems back to my early years as a HypnoTop Hypnotherapist therapist in Belfast in the 1980’s. Back then Hypnotherapy was a new Alternative treatment and many people viewed it with scepticism. Having trained as a Hypnotherapist, I then opened a small office in Belfast. I was the only Hypnotherapist in Belfast at that time and when one of the Sunday newspapers did a feature on me word started to get around that there was this guy who could help to sort people out with their problems in a very fast way. It just started to grow from there. I saw the employed, unemployed, multi millionaires, TV, Radio and sports personalities, politicians, people from every walk of life (to date I have seen well over 50,000 + people). You name it I’ve heard it, nothing surprises me any more. In a short space of time I had 7 Clinics throughout Northern Ireland and was working 7 days a week flat out. People were coming to see me from all over Ireland for various reasons and problems, along with the common ones such as Stop Smoking or to Lose Weight. However, in Northern Ireland it was completely different from Mainland UK due to the many victims of the troubles. In those years counselling was very limited so I had to help thousands of people caught up in the conflict. Such as rescue service personnel who had to go into the aftermath of bombings or even the people caught up in the bombings, shootings, bomb scares, armed robberies, the list is endless. For example, a women who came to me with chronic insomnia, it happened whenever she woke up one night in bed and there were 4 gunmen standing around her, or the survivor from the Kegworth

Alan Gilchrist

air disaster who needed to overcome their fear of flying. There were countless more stories like these. Sadly, I am still getting these types of people coming even now to my Northern Ireland clinics. It was because of this, that I came away from my conventional training whereby people would normally be regressed into their childhood to try to recall the originating cause of their panic attacks, or other problems. This could take up to 15 sessions to achieve when clearly it wasn’t in their childhood at all, it had happened to them right now and wanted it sorted out quick! I came away from conventional Hypnotherapy and developed my own techniques, (also bringing in specialised equipment from America to speed the whole process up and introducing laser therapy as well) plus cutting everything down to the fastest way possible, without losing any effectiveness to get these poor people sorted out. Having developed these techniques I then called it Fast Track Hypnosis and I have been using this method ever since. I then developed my own FastTrack Stop Smoking in under 30 minutes and Weight Control sessions and more recently the Fasttrack Gastroband. By dispensing with the unnecessary parts of a traditional session, eg I don’t waste part of a session telling the person all about the health risks associated with smoking - everybody already knows that. It’s straight into the session, thereby saving the client time and money. When I started doing these new techniques the media wanted to know if it really did work, so they started putting me to the test. I proved my ‘Fast Track Stop Smoking in 30 minutes’ twice on TV on 2 consumer programmes. On one of them I was put up against Acupuncture and another way using chemicals to quit smoking. The only one that was successful in helping the people to quit was me. On another programme I had to help a psychologist get over her agoraphobia, which I did in 4 sessions. On

another occasion a programme featured me helping a company director overcome their fear of flying, then the cameraman who was in the studio filming it came along to get over his flying phobia as well! Another showed me helping a young boy of ten years of age, who was having panic attacks. (He did not want to go to school because of these attacks, and tried to throw himself out of a car at 40 mph). Again all these problems were resolved in a very short space of time (only 4 sessions were required). And over the years there were many other tests - including the RTN! There is a great deal of satisfaction in my job and people would also ask me if I ever use hypnosis for myself. Of course I do, and have done so throughout my career! I would use Autohypnosis to simply chill out between sessions! If want to do just that then simply click onto the link on my web site and listen to a complete relaxation session free of charge. “I just want to thank you for all your help so far. I came to see you 18 months ago smoking 30 a day and after one session I haven’t had a single cigarette, can’t believe I was ever a smoker!! Since quitting smoking I came to see you again for weight loss, I’ve now lost my 1st stone, yee ha! I’ll see you again next week for my 2nd session for fear of flying, I have a holiday booked for February and already I’m not panicking about it as I usually would be, even 4 months before the flight! I had recommended you to two of my friends, one hasn’t smoked since seeing you 16 months ago, the other saw you last month and hasn’t smoked since either, more fantastic results! Thank you soooo much, Mairead.....” Alan holds his Fast Track Hypnosis sessions in Cabo Roig, Guardarmar and Benidorm. For an appointment, Brochure or FREE initial consultation, contact Alan Gilchrist on 659 229 408. Or visit his web site

For an appointment, brochure or a free of charge initial consultation on your particular problem, contact Alan Gilchrist on 659 229 408 or visit his websites or

28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Book your adventure with Gandia Tours and RTN’s Exclusive readers offer THIS DECEMBER there are two special Christmas shopping trips to Spain’s most prestigious and historic cities – Barcelona and Madrid. The Barcelona trip departs on 21st December and gives a fantastic opportunity to shop and see the city. Adventurers will stay in Hotel Cristal, a four star hotel centrally located on the city’s famous Ramblas, within striking distance of mayor shopping centre and city sights. Leaving the Costa Blanca for Madrid on 14th December, discover the winter wonderland of the capital,

travellers are guaranteed to be at the centre of the action. In Madrid, accommodation is booked in the three-star Hotel Ganivet, close to the historic Plaza Mayor and fabulous shopping street Gran Via. This is an unbeatable opportunity for anyone who enjoys making new discoveries. RECOMMENDATION Book your place as soon as possible as seats are limited and both three day and two night breaks will be fully booked soon. Prices are based on sharing a double room and includes breakfast.



28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Jet2. Con

YOU WERE kind enough to publish my letter recently concerning the loyalty scheme operated by (but under my heading Jet2.Con) and would like you to consider publication of another letter on the same subject. I would now like to advise customers as to the reality of the scheme which advertises on the website as ‘Earn Points towards FREE flights myJet2, rewarding our loyal customers’, which is not quite as it appears: To test the system I booked return flights to UK for April next using my socalled ‘free flight points’. Alas, not all as it seems because I was charged £68.49 in taxes and a credit card charge: to get this I spent 600 loyalty points. I then checked the same flights without using loyalty points and would have been charged £76.47. To earn one loyalty point you have to spend one pound, so in effect I used 600 pounds in points to save a total of £7.98: As my father always said: “No such thing as a free lunch.” Perhaps Mr Meeson CEO of Jet2 would like to explain the situation as he failed to respond to my previous correspondence. Ian Benson Orihuela Costa.


talk tous

Email letters to with your full name and address


letter of the week

Obviously the customer is wrong! WHEN I reached the checkout at Mercadona Supermarket in Playa Flamenca I put my Mercadona bag on the counter to load my shopping and was hassled about my bag. I did not understand what the problem was as the Spanish was spoken very fast (even though they knew I was not Spanish). It suddenly dawned on me that they were pointing to the tape inside the bag which another customer told me should be stamped. I told them I had had the bag for several weeks and it was obvious it was not new. The cashier then sent for a ‘supervisor’ who shouted at me that I needed to pay for the bag. By this time, the usual happened, the other cashier joined in this ‘row’ so now there are two queues of customers held up watching this debacle. I refused to pay the 60cents for the bag as I had paid for it several weeks earlier: in fact I bought two at the same time - the other, still in the boot of my car, incidentally, was stamped as I noticed later. I had shopping of approximately 20€ which they refused to let me pay for until I had paid for the bag. The accusation was that I was a thief and a liar for – what - 60cents! It could not be that one of the geniuses they

employ as cashiers who have only just recently learned to acknowledge a customer but not yet learned to smile or pay attention to what they are doing because they are too busy talking to each other, did not stamp the bag. There are no notices up to say that the bag must be stamped. So make sure you get your bag stamped and don’t even think about cutting the label out, which people often do because it is a nuisance. I emptied the bag out on the counter and walked out but I lost my bag that I had paid for and was subjected to the most humiliating experience. I am a resident of some twelve years and I have shopped in Mercadona once or twice a week for that period of time but I will never set foot inside any of their stores again. So Mercadona’s customer service philosophy is obviously that the customer is always wrong. Who is training their ‘supervisors’ in handling customer problems? The time it would take to put back all my shopping and the annoyance of extra waiting time for their other customers plus the loss of my custom surely wasn’t worth 60 cents, which had already been paid: neither would they be able to do anything with my used bag.

Do they really care? Yes they do IN RESPONSE to ‘Do they really care?’ in issue 622, while my heart goes out the family mentioned and their sad loss in such circumstances, I have a completely different story to tell. Unfortunately I have had to attend the Torrevieja Hospital for various disorders over the last three years. In fact the delay in my response to the article is due to a surgical procedure carried out in the hospital earlier this month. I found the hospital staff attentive, hard-working and efficient, prepared to spend time to explain what was planned and why, also any after effects I would experience. Even with my appalling failure to grasp the Spanish language, they always ensured that I was kept informed. I do not

enjoy hospitals, surgical procedures and medical routines, (sadly I am at an age where my body is wearing out). The staff is aware of my fears and deals with me accordingly and the standard of hygiene and infection control procedures would shame all UK NHS hospitals I have attended. The local health practitioners in Benijofar Consultario and Rojales Centro Salud earn unstinting praise from friends and neighbours alike. I have been informed I have a ‘cynical streak’: even at my most cynical I would have to agree with the consensus of opinion, that in matters of health care we are extremely fortunate to have access to such expertise and facilities as we have at our disposal in this area. NS, Benijofar

Hardly encouraging honesty WITHOUT WISHING to cause alarm, your recent article ‘Backdoor Tax’ may not be the end of the story. I similarly bought a property, without facilities, water, electricity, windows or doors… simply a shell. I paid on the escritura 30,000€. A few months later, similarly, Hacienda came knocking on the door to state that they estimated the value to be 70,000€ and demanded 3,500€. I also considered challenging this decision, but was told a structural engineers’ survey

would be necessary, the accountant would want a share of the proceeds and challenging Hacienda was rarely successful. No worries, I thought, pay the extra, at least the property has been re-valued at 70,000€ and this would save further taxation when the property was to be sold. Well, the property was later sold and duly reported within my accounts. However, now of course Hacienda disregarded the revaluation to

obtain the tax, and the previous tax is disregarded in some measure. The 3,500€ is now considered as a ‘cost’, i.e. the value of the property has now become 33,500€ and the balance to the sale price, 80,000€ in this case, presents a profit of 46,500€ instead of the 10,000€ anticipated! There appears to be little recourse. So, Mr GP, try to establish what your property is valued at with the registration office, otherwise you may find that you have another pill to swallow. No wonder there is so much ‘black money’ - it hardly encourages honesty now does it.

28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Crimestoppers’ birthday bonus by Jack Troughton HOURS AFTER the launch of a new Crimestoppers’ appeal on the Costas 48-year-old predatory paedophile Dominic Powell, listed as a ‘very high risk sex offender’ was behind bars after his arrest in Southern Spain, spotted by members of the public in Mijas. Powell targets vulnerable females with children and presents a “significant risk” of sexual harm to both male and female children. Born in Coventry, Powell was wanted by South Wales Police and the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre to serve a 16week prison sentence for failing to provide notification of foreign travel, part of requirements of his sex offender status. In addition, he faces prosecution in relation to indecent assaults, offences relating to sexual activity with a child, attempted rape, making indecent images of children, and other failures to comply with measures under the Sex Offenders Act. Powell was deported from the USA in 2007, prosecuted in Ireland and was serving a cus-

Dominic Stephen Powell

todial sentence in Britain for breaches of reporting requirements. In 2008, while South Wales Police investigated more offences, Powell fled to Spain. People calling Crimestoppers in the UK from Spain can call freephone 900 555 111 (a translation service is available), or dial 0800 555 111 to give information anonymously. Alternatively, Crimestoppers’ website provides a ‘giving information form.’


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21 28- OCT 27 OCT - 3 NOV 2011 2011

The RTN Youthful Report

Get ready for Halloween at Party Time! PARTY TIME at La Marina Fancy Dress is now under new management and has relocated to new premises on Calle Londres La Marina Urbanisation, close to Barclays Properties. Halloween is this coming Monday, so why not visit Party Time for all your scary Halloween costumes. Party Time aims to help with ALL your party needs and they have a large range of Fancy Dress in stock to hire or buy. And hiring costs from as little as €12.50. They also have a large selection of Party Accessories for every conceivable theme, including School Days, Hippy, 1920s, Clowns, Gangsters, 70s, 80s, Cowboys and Indians, Cops and Robbers, Pirates, Hawaiian and much more. There is also a large selection of hats, tights, facial hair, teeth and wigs. As well as costumes and accessories, Party Time stocks lots of great stage makeup. Because of the climate they only use high quality stage make-up from Snazaroo and can also offer scar putty, fake skin and latex. At Party Time you can create the perfect scene for your party or stage with fantastic themed items for your guests. Themes include; Rock N Roll, Motown, Western, Hollywood, Elvis, Marylin Monroe, Hawaiian, Super Heroes, Winnie the Pooh and Barbie. If not, get down to Party Time now and get your scary outfit ready for Trick or Treating, but hurry as stock is going FAST! Visit for a map and opening hours. For all your enquiries, call Carolyn or Dave on 96 679 5472 – 628 173 833. Previously in the UK Carolyn and David ran a catering business, so the opportunity to open a fancy dress shop fitted in so well with their long term plan, as next year they will expand Party Time to include Hog Roasts for all your Party Time celebrations!

Scary Halloween outfit


by Gemma Smith HAVE YOU ever wondered what it is like to be unfamiliar with the unknown, walking into a whole new world with an unfamiliar culture? My name is Gemma Smith and I am 18. I have been living in Spain for four years and it has been a rollercoaster ride. I have faced many difficulties and until recently, I felt that I was alone facing a huge culture shock. But I am not on my own; there are many other teenagers going through exactly the same thing. I recently met up with two of my peers and we discussed our experiences of life here in Spain for YouthTube, launched by Viva TV last month and wholeheartedly supported by RTN as well as the British Consulate and British Embassy. YouthTube is a new programme and will highlight, amongst other things, recordings made by youngsters who want to share their experiences of life on the Costa Blanca. I was teamed up with Shannon, 16, and Patrick, 14, and what was fascinating was that we all had similar feelings about our moves to Spain. The majority of our emotions seemed to stem from fear of the unknown. As individuals we learned a lot from each other and gained an informed understanding of what others have been through, including the difficulty in making new friends and searching for jobs as a ‘British youth’. Shannon said that she felt let down by the Spanish education system and neglected by her teachers; regularly be-

ing overlooked and left “…to get on with it.” How can we justify this? Is it fair for students to join a school and not benefit just because they’re foreigners? The answer to that is no, especially if the student is trying their best to learn. My friend, Connor Galbraith, told me: “I personally feel that the Spanish system is not very well adapted towards foreign students. For this reason, I think that there are fewer opportunities created for younger ex-pats living in Spain.” This portrays why many of us feel that Spain offers us less as a country than our homeland and why we decide to move back. On the flip side, Patrick felt that he has benefitted from moving to Spain, but he is still intent on returning to the UK for further education. His view is parallel to that of mine, although unlike Patrick I haven’t been to a Spanish school. I moved here at 14 and as I wanted UK qualifications, my family and I felt that the cost of a private English education was my only alternative. Through the pages of RTN, I will continue the voyage of exploring other teen’s experiences and find responses to all those questions that many of us want answered. Together I hope that we can try to resolve the hard times teenagers here face and make our experiences in Spain smoother, more pleasant and even more successful. Are you a young person with similar views to me? If so, have your say and contact me at gemmaleighsmith@ I will be back next month with my next Youthful Report.

p u n g i S Y A D O Tr your chasnce

fo to win thi Cruise

28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Ditch Telefonica and Win a Cruise! Would you like to ditch Telefonica or your current telephone and internet provider, save yourself a fortune and win a dream cruise at the same time…?! If so, read on because that is just what RTN Network can offer you from today until Christmas! On 1st May 2012, RTN Network has booked a luxurious two birth cabin on the MSC Orchestra for a fantastic Mediterranean cruise and it could be you sunning yourself in Tunis, Messina, Naples, Livorno or Villefranche. And to be in with a chance to go on this amazing cruise, all you have to do is sign up to the Network – IT’S EASY! The all expenses paid trip on the MSC Orchestra is available to all new RTN Network customers who sign up to one of their new ADSL bundle packages starting today, 14th


Is a wonderfully French village offering its visitors a unique opportunity to experience everything French. Unless you have not seen Monte Carlo, Eze, Nice and Cannes, (and want to experience them) you will not want to wander any further than this quaint fishing village. Villefranche resides on a steep hillside that surrounds the beautiful bay that Villefranche resides upon. While walking can be steep at times, the walkways that penetrate Villefranche’s parks, old section and village are simply breathtaking.


The beautiful beaches and the green Mediterranean ma-quis, south of Livorno, are landscapes which have only been partially tampered with by man, but which retain that peace and that beauty which also stimulate the pleasure of knowledge. There are protected habitats in oases, wildlife refuges, parks and reserves which give shelter to roe and fallow deer, badgers and porcupines, falcons and flamingos.

October until December 23rd, when the winner will be announced in our bumper Christmas issue. And if you are an existing RTN Network customer, you could still be in with a chance of winning this cruise simply by recommending a friend! And for every friend that signs for an ADSL BUNDLE, you will get your name placed in the draw for the cruise! So, the more friends who sign up, the more chances you have of winning! It couldn’t be easier! So what are you waiting for? Get signed up now, or recommend a friend and be in with a chance to go on that fantastic cruise! For more information visit or call them on 966 463 170


Is one of the most beautiful cities in Italy. It has a great bay with nice views of the Capri and the Ischia Islands. The city is maybe not as delightful as Rome or Florence, but it deserves a place among the destinations a tourist should not miss in Italy.


Is dramatically situated between the Ionian Sea and Mount Etna, Europe’s greatest active volcano. As well as ruins from the ancient city, the town boasts a wealth of fine Baroque architecture.


It may be but a slim wedge of North Africa’s vast horizontal expanse, but Tunisia has enough history and diverse natural beauty to pack a country many times its size. With a balmy, sand-fringed Mediterranean coast, scented with jasmine and sea breezes, and where the fish on your plate is always fresh.



28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011

Crowned champion by Jack Troughton STUDENT KIMBERLY Crellin tasted victory in the fast growing international sport of stand up paddle board to become a Spanish champion. Kimberly, who lives in Baladrar, Benissa, but studies in Valencia won the 11ft 6in class at the championship finals held at Somo, near Santander, Cantabria. Described as “very sporty and determined”, the 19-year-old only took up the stand up paddle six months ago but has trained with another Spanish champion, Ramon Blanco Sainz Rozas, who has become her mentor. And in her second race in Calafell, Kimberly took second place and qualified for the Spanish Championships and has also won in races in Germany and on the Mar Menor. Kimberly’s proud father David Crellin told RTN: “Although she is back at school in Valencia now, all summer she has been practicing – every day and all day long. “I hope she will continue to win events – it is getting a very popular sport and it is very big internationally and is beginning to attract a lot of sponsorship.” David said his daughter was also doing very well with her studies on dry land and hoped to qualify as a ‘gestor’ later this year.

Kimberly training with Ramon

Phil’s got the power

Patriotic steps

by Jack Troughton DEDICATION AND determination were key to success in darts claimed 51-year-old world champion Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor, one of the top international players preparing for the first Spanish Darts Trophy in Benidorm tomorrow and Sunday - his first trip to the Costa Blanca’s best-known resort for the Professional Darts Corporation event. In an exclusive interview, Phil said “The sport is now truly international with hugely talented players coming through from all around the world.” Phil added that the future of darts seemed secure with supermarket giant Tesco helping put a game especially designed for youngsters in schools. The tournament is at the Hotel Melia Benidorm over 29th and 30th October. Doors open at 11am on both days with the action starting at noon. Tickets are priced at 13€ for one day and 22€ for both, available by ringing Bay Radio on 96 579 6761 or by emailing

PEDESTRIANS IN Calpe’s old town are left in no doubt as to the colours of the Spanish flag as they climb the steps of one of the steep streets. The stairs leading up Carrer de Puchalt are painted the vivid and patriotic yellow and red of the national flag – colours also present in the Valencia emblem – and make a colourful postcard picture.

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Albir community gathers for new medical centre opening

Geoff Gartland with Amanda Collins and Dawn Blythe

by Patricia Thompson Geoff spoke briefly at the ceremony and commented afterwards: “I was delighted to be asked to open the new Family Medical Centre. The new centre is wonderful and will be a huge asset to the local community, with Midwife Dawn Blythe, Nurse Amanda Collins and Doctor An Croonenborghs providing an English speaking and extremely affordable healthcare. Also there will be a wide range of medical specialists all under one roof.” He continued: “Huge credit must go to all those who worked on getting this purpose made Medical Centre ready: they have done a fantastic job. Dawn and Amanda are already extremely well known in the area having worked for Dr Colin Evans, and it is wonderful that these two nurses have taken the step of opening their own medical centre.” Midwife Dawn said: “There has been a lot of hard work from everyone involved with the opening. Amanda and I, with the expert help of our architect, have designed the premises from scratch. We are absolutely delighted with the finished building, and we have already had some great feedback from our patients. We look forward to serving our existing patients as well as opening our doors to new patients, because anyone, wherever they live, will be looked after. Located along the main Albir street at ‘number 66 Avenida de L’Albir’ the Family Medical Centre is easily accessible on foot or by car with a large car park being very close. With three purposedesigned consultation rooms, a bright reception area, and easy, flat access for wheelchairs etc, the new centre provides a welcoming and spacious environment. Nurse Amanda told RTN: “It has been very high on our agenda to ensure that the finished building would make patients feel at ease when visiting for health services. And we also want to be able to offer easy opening hours which are 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday. On Thursdays we will be staying open until 8pm, and on Saturdays from 9am until Noon.” The telephone number for the Centre is 96 686 5072, and the email address is Or visit the website

Young voices join the debate

Javea Mayor Jose Chulvi

by Jack Troughton YOUNGSTERS ARE to get a voice in the future of their Marina Alta community in a groundbreaking experiment aimed at involving them in the democratic process. Javea Town Hall has launched an initiative to create a Children’s Council and recognises the importance of youngsters and listening to their views. It is hoped the body – representatives will be chosen by student bodies within

the town’s schools – will allow youngsters the chance to participate in public life and develop an active sense of taking part in the community. The Children’s Council that will run parallel to the Agenda 21 forum, an ongoing project that gives adults a say in their future, will correct an imbalance. Councillor Cese Camprobi said: “No one takes the opinions of young people into account when making the decisions that will affect them.” Representatives will serve for two years and be appointed at a town hall ceremony chaired by Mayor Jose Chulvi. The new body will meet once a month to express what they like and dislike – and pass on the views of classmates. The proposal for a Children’s Council is based on a project by Italian psychologist Francesco Tonucci called ‘Children’s Town’ and aimed at promoting the development and practice of civic and ethical values amongst children, initiating them in the democratic process. It is already an idea taken up by many towns in Italy as wells as El Prat de Llobregat in Catalonia and Torrent in the Valencia Community.

28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011


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28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Dib, dib, dob, we’ll Bob-a-job! Watts In Britain By

Paul Watts

I’M DELIGHTED to see that the Scouts are leading the way in putting common sense back on the map. “How so?” you may ask. Well, they’ve decided to reinstate their famous ‘Bob-a-Job-Week’ once more. For those too young to know or those so old they’ve forgotten, Bob-a-job week was the sort of ‘Children in Need’ type fund-raising activity whereby boy scouts gave a helping hand to friends, family and neighbours for the relatively small charge of a ‘bob’ (that’s to say ‘bob’ as in one shilling or 5p in new money). It involved lots of boys doing lots of: car washing; gardening; window cleaning and helping elderly people with their shopping. I don’t think we went up the chimneys but it’s quite possible some did. I do remember some concern at our ‘pack’ when it was learnt that Robert Berrisford had been seen high on a ladder helping

someone to clear their shed roof. But by and large the jobs we did were safe. Despite this, Bob-a-Job-Week became a victim of the insidious army of over-zealous Elf ‘n Safety factotums that took over our lives in the 90s and Bob-a-job formally ended in 1992. But now, praise be, it’s back! And the papers were full of it. Sarah Rainey reported in the Daily Telegraph: “From window cleaning to shoe shining and household chores to outdoor activities, thousands of scouts will lend a hand in their local areas when the scheme launches next year. The revamped bob-a-job week will run between 14th May and 20th May, 2012.”

A right Royal cub

Meanwhile the Daily Mail trumpeted it as ‘a triumph for the Big Society’. The paper, a long time adversary of restrictive health and safety practices revealed, “The return of bob-a-job week [will be] in modern form. It will be called ‘Community Week’. Cash donations will still be welcome but it is more likely money will be given online or by text. It may not be a boy who answers the call - these days the scouts include girls.” We really are finally in the twenty-first century, eh? Back in my day it was still a boy activity. And, looking back, I suppose we had more freedom than children nowadays. During Bob-a-job week I would disappear for whole afternoons, roaming far and wide seeking family, friends or neighbours who would most positively answer my question (and more importantly part with cash) of, “Bob a job, please?” One of my favourite victims, sorry clients, was my grandma’s sister, May. Dear old Auntie May would invite me in and present me with tea, biscuits and cakes and then she’d chat away for ages about interesting stuff like the war before giving me half-a-crown for my ‘efforts’ (that’s two and a half jobs already in the bag, folks). She’d write on the official ‘Jobs Done’ form: “Paul helped with washing up and cleaning my house.” And then, she’d even give me a tip for myself too! Life didn’t get much better; come to think about it I don’t think it ever has! One old boy up our road used to hate the constant traipsing up and down his path of small boys on the lookout for a ‘Job’. Mr Osbourne or ‘grumpy ole Ozzie’ would always shoo us away, moaning: “I’m fed up with you lot keep knockin’ me door...” One day I devised a plan. “What’d ya want?” he croaked from behind the front door. “Bob-a-job, please Mr Osbourne.” The door creaked open. Before he could say anything I said in an angelic tone, “If I do a job you get a ‘Job Done’ sticker to put in your window and we don’t come back.” You could see his brain slowly churning. “Hmmmm, let me see,” he murmured, “could you go and check me dustbin lid is on for me?” I raced around to his back garden and placed the lid firmly on the bin. “Here you are,” he said, “here’s a tanner [six old pence] for ya trouble. Now can I have me sticker.” I took off my cap scratched my head and looked troubled, “Er, it’s bob-a-job sir, that’s only sixpence - it’s not enough.” He coughed, and cursed something under his breath, and hobbled off. He came back with ‘coppers’ to the value of the full one shilling. He held out a withered hand for his sticker. “Thanks, Mr Ozzie,” I beamed. “On yer way now,” he crocked and the door slammed. That ‘Job Done’ sticker remained in his window for the rest of his days... Watts in Britain, getting me woggle out of mothballs ready for May 2012!


28 OCT - 3 may NOV 2011 20 - 26 2011

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New Zealand QROPS good news for all concerned by

Stephen Ward & Robert Burns THE POWER of the internet means that articles about QROPS placed in RTN are picked up all over the world. So this article is not just aimed at RTNs local readership but at all (including other practitioners) with an interest in the subject. We have previously mentioned a proposed change in New Zealand law which, if enacted as first drafted, would have led (with the exception of New Zealand residents) to New Zealand closing as a jurisdiction for receiving transfers of UK pension rights. It gives us great pleasure to say that lobbying by ourselves and others has led to this position changing. The Financial Markets Conduct Bill was introduced to the New Zealand Parliament on 12th October 2011 to allow for a ‘first reading’

before next month’s General Election. The Bill as introduced has, in the part that refers to pensions, been revised from the earlier draft. The Bill now contemplates two types of New Zealand superannuation scheme: 1. ‘Regular’ superannuation schemes - which can only admit individuals who are NZ residents / citizens. 2. ‘Locked-in’ superannuation schemes - which can accept non-residents of New Zealand as members. These schemes will be subject to additional requirements that will be prescribed by regulations. We expect these requirements to include minimum periods of investment and restrictions on withdrawals. Therefore, this will achieve two things for the New Zealand QROPS market as it relates to non-residents of New Zealand. Firstly, from the eventual implementation date of the Bill (which will be a long way into 2012), it will end the ability of non NZ residents who left the UK more than five tax years ago to transfer their UK pension fund to a New Zealand QROPS so as to receive an immediate lump sum of up to 100% of the fund. If this is something you are thinking of doing then it makes sense to proceed quickly bearing in mind the time it takes to

process a transfer from a UK pension fund to a New Zealand QROPS. Even if you have already transferred to a QROPS in another jurisdiction but find the cash option attractive remember that it is generally possible to transfer from one QROPS to another. Secondly, New Zealand becomes an incredibly attractive jurisdiction for holding pension fund money over the longer term. This arises because over the next few weeks we will see the first New Zealand pension schemes constituted in such a way that income and growth within the fund will be free from New Zealand tax. Add to that the ability at a later date to take withdrawals as income. This means New Zealand will be much more flexible in terms of timing and amount than other jurisdictions. Taken together we have a powerful and robust combination. The QROPS market is one which is constantly changing and we are uniquely placed in being able to offer advice based upon a complete package of up to date market information. For further information about QROPS, Pension Planning and long term investment opportunities please email or see and quoting reference RTN1111.

THIS ARTICLE IS WRITTEN BY STEPHEN WARD AND ROBERT BURNS, PREMIER PENSION SOLUTIONS S.L., October 2011. Please see our advert on Page 2. At the forefront of the industry with over forty years combined experience with pensions, regulated and authorised, liaising directly with providers and HMRC, Stephen and Robert are two of the leading authorities on QROPS. E: T: 965 790 918 or



28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011


Michael Olmer

Solicitor, Link Point Legal and Business Services

Business start-ups and transfers in testing times: Part 2 IN THE second of this series of three articles on starting or buying a business I shall look at renting business premises, and some of the traps that await unwary landlords or tenants. The Law of Urban Rentals Nº 29 of 1994 regulates all rentals which are not of agricultural property, and sections 29 to 35 specifically apply to business premises. Most people looking to rent business premises consider the following three factors: • How much is the rent? Landlord and tenant are free to agree any rent they choose. The rent is usually varied each year on the anniversary of the start of the lease by the increase (or decrease) in the official consumer price index. Rents on business premises are normally subject to IVA (Value Added Tax) at the top rate of 18%. Most business tenants must retain 19% of the net amount of the rent, and pay this amount every three months direct to the tax authorities on behalf of the landlord on account of his own tax due on the rent. Each year you must supply your landlord with a statement of the total amount paid over on his behalf for him to submit to the tax authorities with his own tax returns. If you do not pay this retention to the tax authorities you are liable for a surcharge. Some large commercial landlords are able to issue their tenants with an exemption certificate from having to make this retention so that they can receive the

entire rent direct from their tenants. The landlord and the tenant can agree between them who is to pay any fees due to third parties, such as Communities of Owners for maintenance of the building where the business is located, rubbish removal, etc. • How long is the lease and can it be renewed? A lease can be for any length of time. Often a landlord will grant a lease for a number of years with an option to the tenant to renew that lease. There is no statutory right for a tenant to renew their lease although section 34 of the Law of Urban Rentals does provide a formula to compensate tenants who are unable to renew their lease, and who either have to move, or have to cease trading. However, in practice landlords nearly always require their tenants to sign away this right in their lease. This will mean that a tenant is not entitled to any compensation at the end of their lease if their landlord decides not to grant them a new lease. In the case of a very successful business, a landlord may attempt to hold them to ransom by demanding a large increase in rent for the grant of a new Lease. On the other hand, in these difficult economic conditions, a tenant may offer to renew their lease at a reduced rent, and their landlord may accept their offer rather than be left with empty premises which they cannot re-let. • Is the lease transferable if you want to sell your business?

If you want to sell your business do not assume that you will have the right to transfer your lease to a new owner. It is the wording of your lease that will govern your right. The right to transfer or sublet can be modified or excluded completely. In our office we have been consulted by clients who have found that they have paid over their hard earned money for a business carried on from rented premises which the tenant had no right to transfer, and also by tenants who have traded successfully for many years but who then find that they cannot realize the many years of hard work and money they have invested in their businesses. Generally, the shorter your lease the more restrictions there will be on transferring it to a new owner. If your lease is transferable then, by law, a landlord can increase the rent by 20% for the new tenant, although it may be possible to negotiate a lower increase or no increase at all. Your lease will usually require the tenant to also pay to the landlord a percentage of the price receive for the lease from the buyer. Your lease will also cover other important matters as the amount of any security deposit, insurance, maintenance, etc. which can have as great an impact on the viability of your business as the rent, term, and ability to transfer it. Whether you are a landlord or a tenant, at Linkpoint we have Spanish and English lawyers and tax advisers ready to provide you with the professional advice you need on a new lease of business premises before you sign on the ‘dotted line’.

Calle Andromeda 24, 03581 Albir - Alfaz del Pí, Alicante. Email: Web: Tel: 96 626 0500 Fax: 96 686 52 77


28 OCT 14 - -13 20 3 NOV OCT 07 OCT 2011 2011

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A White & Baos Special RTN Offer: NO WIN NO FEES *


Carlos Baos

of White & Baos Abogados

changes, developments etc of each individual file. Regarding the different phases of these claims, the following must be considered:

THIS WEEK we would like to inform our readers who live in a community of owners, about the special offer from our firm for claiming against community debtors by means of the Monitorio Court Process, for those cases where there are owners that do not pay their community fees.

1) INITIAL REQUEST: Depending on the case it is advisable to send a registered letter, telegram or fax to the debtor requesting that the debt be settled. This initial request can be sent directly by the community of owners, or if the community prefers White & Baos (W&B) can send the request to the debtor on behalf of the community. You will not be surprised that very often the second route is more effective in producing a response.

KEEPING REGULARLY IN TOUCH WITH THE COMMUNITIES Firstly, we would like to highlight the fact that it is essential for a community to be in constant touch with its legal firm to receive the latest up to date information, and also to discuss all community fees outstanding. Do not delay, because as we will explain below there are different debt recovery stages that will need to be actioned. Here at White & Baos the norm for the communities which we already represent is that we provide them with a monthly or quarterly report about the stage of each claim. We also keep them informed and updated about the most important

2) MONITORIO COURT CLAIM (NO WIN NO FEE): If the debtor does not pay after receiving the notice described above, the community should inform W&B who will draft the Monitorio Claim to be submitted to the appropriate Court. Although it is not strictly necessary for the community in a Monitorio Court process to use a procurator (kind of Clerk of the Court in charge of maintaining contact between the Lawyer and the Court) we do recommend this. To start the court case W&B will not request a provision of funds but only a provision of between 35€ and 60€ to be paid directly to the Procurator, as his use is highly advisable and increases the chance of success of the case.

English & Spanish Solicitors

WHITE & BAOS LEGAL FEES If no funds are obtained from the debtor, W&B will not request the community to pay for any fees; there will only be a charge of 65€ as disbursements for the administrative costs involved in the preparation and monitoring of the MONITORIO process. THEREFORE IN THE COURT PHASE: Only a minimal initial provision of between €35 and €60 will be requested to pay the Procurator’s fees. Should the community be unsuccessful in receiving any money there will be no charge from W&B and only 65€ will be requested to pay for expenses. In the vast majority of cases the community will receive payment of the outstanding community fees owed. White & Baos Abogados and Solicitors are able to communicate with the community or/and the debtor in Spanish, Valencian and English. If your community is in this situation, our firm will be more than pleased to assist you with the recovery of the unpaid fees: please contact us for additional information. Carlos Baos Torregrosa Abogado/Lawyer: Partner, White & Baos abogados. Tel: 0034 96 642 6185. Email: * (For a claim against neighbours for outstanding community fees (monitorio court process).

Carlos Baos (Lawyer) © White & Baos Abogados 2011 - All rights reserved. C/Diana 19, 2º-D, 03700 Dénia (located 1 minute away from the La Via underground car park). Tel: 966 426 185. Send your questions to or This article is available in English and Spanish at


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28 OCT 3 NOV 2011 Feb 26 - -March 4 2010

The Spanish Property Inheritance Tax time bomb

Non-Domiciled property owners in Spain are

by sitting on a ticking IHT time bomb. Most owners do

Mark Roach

not understand that their Heirs and their Estate will pay IHT in two jurisdictions, Spain and their Country of Domicile. The reason for this is that in Spain Company Director and the individual inheritor is taxed whereas in other Spanish Tax Consultant countries, like the UK, it is the estate that is taxed. This could mean that on the death of an owner the surviving partner, or the owner’s beneficiaries, could have a tax bill that virtually wipes out the entire Spanish Inheritance. Added to this is the cost of probate in both countries for the Inheritors too. Most Lawyers in Spain recommend to owners that having a Spanish Will deals with the problem; this is incorrect as a Will only deals with the issue when there is a death and does not remove taxation in Spain. Other advice given is that double taxation treaties between Spain and the UK will help with the tax being reduced, this is true in identical taxes but these are not, as in the UK, it is the estate which is taxed and in Spain it is the beneficiaries who are taxed. It therefore should not be assumed that one tax can be offset against the other as they are both totally different taxes on totally different entities. Many owners are advised to re-finance the property as IHT is not charged on the property amount if there is an outstanding mortgage and loan, but this may end up leaving the beneficiaries with a huge debt they cannot pay off and many lenders will only finance the ownership if suitable life insurance is taken

out, so the property is paid for on death and the tax still becomes due. Owning a property with your children is a favourite, this is not a good idea either as their share of the property may end up being at risk through financial or marital issues and if they die before the parents then the parents have to pay taxes to get the property back. Our solution to the IHT/ISD problem in Spain is for the owner/s to invest the property into a UK Private Limited company which they would own as Shareholder/s of the company. There will be no 7% Transfer tax payable on this specific transaction unlike other property transactions in Spain. There is also no capital gains tax implication in Spain when you invest a property into a UK Limited Company, as the Hacienda has a method of calculating an investment value based on the original purchase price as shown in the Public Deed. This method may eradicate all taxes in Spain in the future, in respect of the property, as under EU Treaties a UK company is only taxed in one jurisdiction, the UK, and no taxes are payable onwardly in Spain. A UK company is not an offshore company as in Gibraltar or the Isle of Man as they are charged an annual tax by Spain of 3% for not being part of the European Union. Shares in the UK company can be dealt within a UK Will and depending on the structure of the company; the shares may be exempt from Inheritance Tax in the UK as well. A further advantage of the company structure is that attributable expenses can all be tax deductible by the company and the benefit in kind tax for Directors of a UK company which own property

abroad has now also been removed. This is a simple solution costing less than most probate and legal fees in Spain when there is a death of an owner of the property and requires no NIE numbers for the beneficiaries to inherit. Our unique service is available to all Nationalities including both Residents and Non Residents of Spain and can be completed within 2 to 4 weeks if required. We have been developing our systems and process for many years as we strive to be the market leader in this type of transaction so this means clients are dealing with a company who has been researching the transaction for a long period of time and has an extensive customer base that has used this method. Clients can also be assured when talking to Wincham they are dealing with professionals who are operating in this type of business on a daily basis, unlike other professionals who are not, but still advise about the method and due to their lack of understanding and knowledge confuse or put off interested owners from exploring the concept. We find clients are failed time and time again by both Spanish and UK professionals as they are unable to advise on more than one jurisdiction. Our client’s website where you can register for a free illustration showing the IHT/ISD liability in Spain is, Wincham is an International organisation that has been established since 1994 helping clients purchase and own property in Spain using a UK Limited Company structure to avoid taxation in Spain.

Wincham Consultants Limited, Wincham House, Greenfield Farm Trading Estate, Congleton, Cheshire, CW12 4TR, England. (Wincham Consultants also have offices located on the Costa Blanca) UK Tel: +44 (0)1260 299 700 | Spain Tel: +34 965 830 991 | Email: | Web:

Merkel cites Spain as an example of the change of attitude in Europe

THE GERMAN Chancellor, speaking to German MPs to recruit support for strengthening the bailout fund, stressed that the Spanish government has accepted an amendment to the Constitution despite the proximity of elections. She insists that Europe is facing its worst crisis since World War II. During her speech the chancellor described the Spanish government’s decision to amend the Constitution as “remarkable.”



Suzanne O’Connell Customer Care at Ábaco

Don’t let an Imserso holiday pass you by IT’S THE height of Imserso booking time. Hundreds of Expat pensioners have been online and in the travel agents pinning down when and where they can take advantage of the Spanish government’s subsidised holiday programme. It’s Ábaco’s third year of helping people to access these discount holidays in mainland Spain, the Canaries and the Balearics. We’ve had lots of really positive feedback from our clients about them in previous years and we are delighted that even in these times of recession, the programme is still taking place. However, as with anything that involves big numbers, there can be the odd issue to overcome. You have to remember that this programme encompasses a terrific number of people of all nationalities – it’s an operational nightmare! Added to this is the fact that there has been a reduction in the number of holidays on offer

this year (1,000,000 as opposed to 1,200,000 last year). So, it’s understandable if the 14th and 15th October (Valencia) or the 11th to 13th (Murcia) were just a little chaotic. These were the allocated days when you could book just one holiday at your preferred destination – to give everyone a chance. Many were eager to take up the opportunity and there were a few queues and a few frustrations: “We did have some disappointments,” explains Yvonne at Estival Tours, La Zenia. “Portugal and the cultural tours, for example, were sold out very quickly. What we found was that there was a greater availability on some holidays than others. For example, in Lanzarote and Tenerife, more holidays were available for 15 days at a time - a longer period than some people wanted to go away for.” An important message we want to get across here is that even if you didn’t

manage to book on the day, it doesn’t mean you can’t book a holiday at all. You can go on the website or to a travel agent any day from now until June 2012 and book, it just means being flexible and persistent. The website and the booking process is a work in progress. There can be additional holidays made available or cancellations at any time. Just because it was booked up on the 14th doesn’t mean it still will be on the 30th and it is worthwhile checking at a later date. Alternatively, if the holiday you want is still not available you can put your name on the waiting list. In other words – persevere and don’t let it pass you by! If you would like to find out more about Imserso, the holidays for pensioners subsidised by the Spanish government, contact Ábaco and we will help you to register and take advantage of this excellent scheme. Contact us on the ÁbacoConnect Help-line 96 670 3748.

If you would like a FREE, no obligation tax consultation and help with completing your annual tax declaration contact one of Ábaco’s friendly team on ÁbacoConnect Help-line 966 703 748 |

28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011


Want a Risk Free and Tax Free Income? “Sporting Arbitrage Ltd will be explaining their unique risk free/tax free trading methods at the Lifestyle and Expofiesta Exhibition at the IFA Institucian Ferial Alicante from 4th to 6th November.” Arbitrage purchases currencies, securities and commodities for immediate resale at a profit. The ‘commodities’ are horses or football teams and the market is the biggest on the internet: the betting industry. BUT they DO NOT GAMBLE with your money. Sporting Arbitrage predominantly employs Betfair, a trading platform with a £450 million weekly turnover, engineering tiny margins with NO RISK. Invest a lump sum or pay a monthly contribution traders create margins, no matter how small, to ensure clients benefit from around 60% of all the horse races in the UK, with NO losses racked up on the remainder, also grabbing margins on major football matches, dealing in mathematical certainties. Clients receive an exclusive user name and password to check on their status, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. A lump sum may be invested or make regular contributions to build capital that way. £200 per month will be worth almost £7,000 after just two years! You can opt out on a daily basis and withdraw part or all of your investment at 14 days’ notice, on a minimum contribution of £100, with the facility to draw off profits monthly or roll them over. Sporting Arbitrage’s Steve Kelly has made big profits for his personal clients since 2003. Here on the Costa Blanca, Sporting Arbitrage opened their La Regia offices in May, engaging the services of John O’Brien, a City stockbroker for thirty five years before settling in Catral seven years ago. There is full administrative support and personal presentations can be arranged.

BlackBerry users offered compensation

RESEARCH IN Motion (RIM) the company that produces BlackBerry, has announced that it will compensate users with the amount of 72€ (US$100) following the failure of its internet service last week. Users all over the World lost their internet connection, some for up to three days, in an unprecedented down time caused by saturation that proved highly embarrassing for the manufacturer, leading to unreserved and public apologies being issued to its customers. Despite the problem now being solved, widespread loss of confidence in the product is prompting RIM to make sweeping promises of compensation in a damage limitation exercise. The 72€ offer of recompense is valid until 31st December. Company CEO Mike Lazaridis said: “We will work tirelessly to regain customers’ confidence and are taking immediate and aggressive steps to help prevent something like this happening again.”



28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

I WATCH the rate as much as I can because I want to get the maximum return for my currency but deciding when to trade is very difficult as the rate seems to move very quickly. How do I know when is the best time to exchange my currency at the rate I want? You are not alone! Because of the turmoil in the financial market and by the extreme volatility of currency it is extremely difficult to judge when to trade and if you use a bank, making sure you get the rate you want. As an example, the Account Manager, 22 day average Inter Bank exchange rate Moneycorp from Sterling to Euro for July was 1.131. However, the rate actually fluctuated from a low of 1.1050 to a high of 1.1453 throughout the month. Therefore, the potential difference of the rate you could have traded was 4 cents, equating to a significant saving or loss depending on which rate you took.

Kevin Wright

Tracking the rate yourself is time consuming and unless you monitor throughout the time the market is open often fruitless. You then have to ensure that if you see the rate you want your bank is (a) open and (b) able to give you that rate. This is a key reason why more and more clients are turning to a currency specialist (like Moneycorp) able to offer a range of services allowing you to gain the rate you require without the associated hassle. For example, some of the tools used to benefit you include: Spot contracts - Buy or sell a currency for immediate delivery. Spot contracts are suitable if you want to receive your currency quickly and efficiently while achieving the best rate available. Forward contracts - Fix an exchange rate at which you buy or sell currency for delivery

at a later date (up to two years). Forward contracts protect against adverse currency movements and can be used to lock into favourable exchange rates. Stop-loss orders - Set a minimum level at which you buy or sell your currency. Your order will be fulfilled automatically if this rate is reached, effectively guaranteeing a minimum rate at which your currency will be exchanged. Limit orders - Set a higher target exchange rate at which, if this rate is achieved, you buy or sell your currency. If you run a limit order in parallel with a stop-loss order, the exchange rate at which you trade is guaranteed within a given range, giving you the advantage of predictability. As currency markets are always on the move, your order is monitored constantly. You will be kept informed, with levels amended in response to current market conditions. The flexible nature of market orders, coupled with the expertise, market knowledge and dedication of specialist Dealers, will ensure that your foreign exchange needs are managed proactively, 24-hours a day. The process is simple and arranged over the telephone. Also, because currency companies deal with ‘live’ rates, the rate you agree is the rate you achieve if hit. In our experience, if a client is realistic in terms of the rates they are looking for there is a strong chance they can be achieved – we just do the work for you! For further information and guidance please see

For more information on how Moneycorp can help you to save hundreds of euros on your Spanish bank fees, as well as helping you get more pounds for your euros, contact us on 902 887 243 or email Moneycorp directly at

Euro/Sterling Weekly Market Update brought to you by & A RANGE of less than a cent and a half has held the pound steady for the last ten days. Looking at the longer term record, sterling has passed through its current level (€1.1475) more than a dozen times in the last 12 months. Considering the uncertainty surrounding southern Euroland’s debt crisis the single European currency has been remarkably robust in the last couple of weeks. Its support came from investors who believed an agreement was close for a resolution of Greece’s problems. The expectation was fed by comments from G20 finance ministers after their meeting in Paris. The first impression was that a final agreement would come on this weekend at an EU summit meeting in Brussels. UK Chancellor George Osborne said he was “expecting something quite impressive” from the meeting because “there is a huge amount of pressure on them to deliver a solution to the Euro zone crisis, which remains the epicentre of the world’s current problems.” What a shame, then, that no sooner had ministers packed their briefcases than they were competing to manage expectations downward. The stumbling block is apparently over how to reorganise the European Financial Stability Facility. One side wants it to be capitalised and operated as a bank

that would lend to member nations on demand, the other wants the fund to be an insurance scheme, an emergency pot to be raided only at times of dire need. Stream-of-consciousness reporting of the developments (or the lack of them) in Europe overshadowed almost everything else in financial markets during the week. Just two newsworthy items from the UK made it through the blanket coverage of what might or might not be announced by EU leaders this weekend. Consumer price index inflation hit 5.2% in September, matching its record high three years ago, and the minutes of October’s monetary policy committee meeting showed unanimous approval of the decision to buy another £75bn of assets kin the quantitative easing programme. Both were something of a surprise but neither was seen as any reason to cheer or panic. The fate of the Euro during the week ahead will depend entirely on what the EU leaders tell us about their plan to manage the default of Greece and stop the rot in southern Europe. If it sounds plausible and includes some numbers it might be enough to restore faith in the government bonds of Italy and Spain and in the Euro itself. If it is woolly and vague, as every previous version has been, investors will be unimpressed and that faith will be eroded even more.

To read the full report click on Currency Guidance at

Genuine article I was sad to hear recently of a Medium accused of cheating on stage. A Medium with a good following too. She was wearing a wire and was fed vital information. Cheating? Undoubtedly, but also very sad that someone should have to have to resort to using tricks to demonstrate to the public. Spiritualism as we know it began back in Hydesville, near Rochester in New York State on March 31st 1848, when the Fox girls, Kate and Margaretta organised a séance to contact the dead. Little did they know that their house, which had been deemed to be a site for hauntings, was to reveal with ghastly creaks and groans the emanation of the body of a dead man in the cellar. Audiences came flocking to the house after that and the first recorded public physical contact with Spirit was made. The girls had worked out a little trickery, but all their capers were deemed unnecessary when actual spiritual contact came through for real. The World was in the grip of the paranormal, and it greatly interested even Queen Victoria, who was for once not un amused by the psychic findings recorded all over the World. In the USA in the first six months after the Fox findings, over 500 Mediums began working. Some must have had some talents, some may have cheated but the message sent out to the World was that Spirit wanted to communicate and that parlour shows would bring spiritualism into the homes of many throughout the globe. Spiritualism became fashionable, and was patroned by the rich, the successful and the professionals. They were very good adverts because they were influential people, and they paved the way for others to follow suit. Unfortunately some of the “Mediums” that were borne of this tide of newly found spiritual evidence encouraged rogues. Every practioner had an accomplice, and sixpence was all you had to pay for several yards of sheer butter muslin which would be stuffed in the mouth of the Medium, secured with fishing line cat gut, and pulled ceremoniously from the Medium´s mouth in trance as ectoplasm; which it certainly wasn´t of course. In Victorian times a gentlemen would never touch a lady and so many female Mediums, could and did, plant items about their person, cover up

Kenny’s diary Saturday November 19th: Spiritual Fair at Bistro Maya. Readings, Crystals, Healing, Gifts, Tarot, Angel Readings. All the fun of a Spiritual Fair with snacks and meals available! Come and find some Christmas gifts and meet a host of Spiritual People. From 11.00! Thursday December 1st: Demonstration of Clairvoyance at the Alfaz Spiritual Foundation, at the Forum Mare Nostrum in Alfaz del Pi. 18.30. All very welcome! Readings in your area: Please make contact if you want to organise readings in your locality, or organise a psychic event for your favourite charity. Some dates available for Nov/Dec.

with petticoats and then mysteriously would produce physical objects from their nether regions. They had to submit to what then could only be a perfunctory search, but this was always done by a gentleman, and in reality who knows what was hidden in their knickers? Moving tables, levitating, waving bugles around in fluorescent light and general tom foolery made the evening parlour a rip roaring success, and Mediums prospered and grew more and more daring as time went on. However there were many who could really produce the goods, and for those dedicated souls, there was no need to cheat. They maybe worked their audiences, and picked up on vibrations, but they could do the job and they did. It was the Fraudulent Mediums Act of 1951 that made a great difference to Mediumship in the UK. It removed those who were trying to deceive and commit fraud by making dishonest representation. It also repealed the Witchcraft act of 1735, can you believe it? Magic was deemed impossible and it was weighted that it would therefore constitute a fraud; mainly because it was misunderstood, misinterpreted or both. Yet there were some excellent practising Mediums then, as there are indeed now. What causes Mediums to resort to trickery is beyond me. With the magic connection brought about by working together with Spirit so much can be achieved without the need to con, just by giving the evidence of Spiritual survival. I do this each and every time I am with an audience, and it has never let me down yet. I have made errors, but my audiences leave with a healthy dose of Spirit to spur them on. I have no wire or apparatus, and if I want to make ectoplasm I do what Doris Stokes told me to do, and drink a glass of milk with two beaten eggs before I start working. It can work, and it tastes just like a glass of Jersey milk! Sometimes it works, often it doesn’t, but it prepares my body to the point of it being possible, and gets the right result. It also alleviates a grumbling stomach by aiding digestion. No fakery for me. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be, I say, and how much better is the genuine article anyway?

Love & Light... Kenny Corris

postbag Email your letters to me at: Kenny, I have always had a strong connection with my younger sister, and we have been through similar problems, sharing and caring. However she has turned to religion, and is trying her hardest to get me to accept that the Church can help me. I am feeling very in touch with Spirit, but she says that God is the only way. Leona. P. Hi Leona, I get the picture loud and clear! Maybe then you could compromise by visiting a Spiritualist Church together, since for many Christianity and Spiritualism go hand in hand, and why shouldn’t they after all? I am very proud to serve the Alfaz Spiritual Foundation and to run services with them that appeal to Christian Spiritualists. I welcome you both to come along and see if the service of spiritual connection can unite you. After all there is only one God, and he has many houses here on Earth in which to enter. I do hope that you can agree that you have both taken on extensions of your faiths, each in different ways, but I do sincerely hope that this does not separate you in any way. That would be a great shame after years of sisterly friendship neither one of you will want to break up, surely?

contact kenny Appointments: 96 587 8424 Mobile: 686 361 594 Web: Forum: Email: Please contact me for inclusion in my healing list!

28 OCT - 3 may NOV 2011 20 - 26 2011

horoscopes by Kenny Corris

23 27

The current Leo and Mars connection may be giving you a run for your money, but there is no place to hide. This is a time for cards on the table and no holds barred as you find your way out of the minefield. The truth and nothing but the truth may very well be your way of doing things, but it isn’t so for others who have served up this mess, and left you to deal with it. With Jupiter at your side there is a significant action as Pluto trines, and this should set the cat amongst the pigeons. You know very well that you are adaptable and highly practical, but you are about to be put to the test, and may well have to put your money where your mouth is. This will give you a chance to consolidate all that you believe in and will distance you triumphantly from those who question. Mercury squares on Mars in Scorpio mid week and this significant action may well be the green light on something you are anticipating. The past few weeks have been full of ups and downs, and you have maintained your faith and just kept on. Now with a light burning brightly at the end of the darkest of tunnels, there comes rest and resolve and better times are just a step away. Great time to take on a domestic project as you work magic with your practical expertise. Much focus comes to your abilities and determination to see things safely through, though it is also a way of highlighting your specific skills. This could be the start of something, as you make forward plans for other renovations and special touches, as you transform with style and enthusiasm. Mars has given you significant energy, enabling you to take things on and to make the very best of your situation. With power to your elbow, and success on your side, you can now surely see the way ahead and the part that you are able to play. Beware that others may see this as your re inventing yourself. Remember too one very important thing, you are moving on, and not running away! Mercury, Planet of communication, takes on Scorpio and this backs things nicely up, whilst issuing a strong warning to those who seek to oppose you. Give yourself a big dose of love, and there will be plenty left for others to have their fair share too. Logic and back to basics has hit a spot, and you are now encouraged to see something that you have started through to a logical and inspiring conclusion. Venus, your passionate planetary leader, connects at the end of the week with a wily Scorpio only to square on a suspicious Neptune. Whilst love and your emotions are a subject of question right now it is not your motive that is under speculation, but you should now ask yourself if all this is worth it, and where is your escape route? You have started, but this week you do not necessarily have to finish. Mercury and Venus are visitors this week. With Mercury showing you the way and opening a new door in the process, then Venus opening your heart there are mixed emotions stirring and you have to make choices. Follow your heart because you can, and leave any major decisions until you have really thought this through and examined your priorities from all available angles. Turning their backs on Scorpio, both Mercury and Venus make a bee line for your third house of hospitality. Seems that you will have your work cut out in the week ahead, but happy times are ahead and there will be plenty of time to let your hair down, for a change. Love, friendship and trust are three strong and dependable elements to help you make the most of this eventful time. Pluto can be very cutting and frank, stripping you down to the bone, especially when the current focus is on you, yourself. There may be a need for you to evaluate a current situation, and here, particularly, there should be no room for compromise; and a strong need to have your side of things taken seriously. You have let things ride, but all this needs sorting out before it gets out of hand. Was goes around comes around, and there is a need to take stock of a situation entrusted with you to bring the right results to light. All is not what it seems, and your highly sensitive psychic side can, and will help you to put things in order and establish the ground rules for the future so that this nonsense cannot repeated, and those perpetrating are shown the consequences of their actions. With a tuned in Saturn and a balanced Libra under the scrutiny of a warring Mars, this will be a time of self evaluation for good purpose. A time to look within; and to actually like what you see for a change, though you are conscious of a need to start things afresh. Change the song that you sing to yourself inside and you will enter a new World, one where you are what you want to be.

If it’s your birthday this week... Work with your inner energies and follow your gut instincts all the way. Challenging though the last few weeks have been you are so clearly almost where you want to be. The astrological year ahead sees you making a big decision, and not before time!

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28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Word Ladders The key rule is that you must only change one letter at a time as you move from one rung to another, and the word you make must be a proper word! Therefore you may move from BATH --> BATS but not from BATH --> CASH because that changes two letters in one go which is not allowed.


Cryptic Crossword ACROSS 1. Objects of ridicule, but not to marksmen (5) 4. Musical swindler? (7) 8. His wife will be late (7) 9. Jargon used in various languages (5) 10. This month in Westminster (4) 11. Not a mind prepared to be masterful (8) 13. Knot sailors try to avoid (4) 14. Desert one’s post, though left in charge? (4) 16. It’s not right having more surplus (4,4) 17. A number with deposit money (4) 20. Often nuisances are a source of boredom (5) 21. Get together about a thousand odd police (7) 22. Confused Danes on board showing melancholy (7) 23. I hurried outside and collected private information (5)

DOWN 1. Where one may hear pins drop? (7,6) 2. Naturally they have their ups and downs (5) 3. Joined four quarters (4) 4. Small pigs making a distant noise (6) 5. Follower lacking in discipline (8) 6. A breach of security (7) 7. A conservative all one’s life? (5,2,3,3) 12. It may make a girl lightheaded (8) 13. Cultured and splendid in crimson (7) 15. Responds by breaking up crates (6) 18. Some material I bid for


was not there, it’s said (5) 19. A doctor’s name (4)

Quick Crossword ACROSS 1. Vigilant (5) 4. Expand (7) 8. Right (7) 9. Traverse (5) 10. Encounter (4) 11. Beat soundly (8) 13. Hint (4) 14. Amusing activity (4) 16. Odd (8) 17. Motor-cab (4) 20. Perfect (5) 21. Sketch (7) 22. Chivalrous (7) 23. Foe (5)

DOWN 1. Obliging (13) 2. Weird (5) 3. Row (4) 4. Waver (6) 5. Gregarious (8) 6. Thrift (7) 7. Grievously (13) 12. Irregular soldier (8) 13. Hide (7) 15. Brigand (6) 18. Nimble (5) 19. Tardy (4)

ANSWERS & WINNERS Last week’s Crossword and Suduko answers found on page 53/54. Winner for 627- Tim Wise, Torrevieja

EUROMILLIONS DRAW Friday 21st October

2 19 33 37 46



One UK and one Spanish ticket each won a 23,999,325€

Tuesday 25th October

12 22 27 28 39



No ticket won the 15,000,000 Euros jackpot prize

28 OCT - 3 may NOV 2011 20 - 26 2011

23 29


28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Spanish lessons by

Jane Cronin

A weekly ‘cut out and keep’ feature helping you to learn basic Spanish for everyday needs

The Letter

THIS WEEK’S Spanish letter is F, and at long last we’ve come across a bit of light relief from all our explanations about sound, because the letter F is pronounced exactly the same in English as in Spanish. Seems almost incredible, doesn’t it? You may well have noticed that there are similar words in English and Spanish containing the “f” sound, which are written with “ph” in English, but with F in Spanish. These Spanish words can look a little odd to us, especially when the words are academic type ones like filosofía (philosophy) and fenómeno (phenomenon). To our eyes they can look like childish misspellings, but no, it’s just Spanish being more logical again! Here are some more of those similar words, reflecting the sound “f” in English. To start with, función which means “function”. Notice when saying this word that there is no “k” sound in it as there is in English as the C is a “th” sound. From this we get that well worn phrase no funciona - “it doesn’t work”. The word for “photograph” is fotografía but this is almost always abbreviated to foto. It is a feminine word, so “a photo” is una foto. Some nice easy ones – fragmento means fragment, fútil means futile, futuro means future and funeral means funeral. No surprises there. Fracción means fraction, but oddly infracción means infringement, in other words the breaking of the law or the rules of a game. The Spanish news often refers to infracciones de tráfico, in other words “driving offences”. Our last word is more than just a similarity, it is a word directly imported from English - fútbol. There is actually a pure Spanish word for this which is balompié, but it is hardly ever used. Fútbol is the word we always hear, but of course pronounced with the correct Spanish accent, with the


rounded “u” and “o” and the clear “l” sound at the end. Now for our “estranged cousins”, often referred to as “false friends”, that is words that look as though they mean the same thing but don’t. The Spanish word fábrica means “factory” not “fabric”, the word for “fabric” being tejido. A slightly trickier false friend is the word familiar. This can mean the same as the English word “familiar”, but is very often used to refer to the family, as in the phrase un ambiente familiar which means “a family atmosphere” (and not “a familiar atmosphere”). We can also use the word to mean a “family member” as in amigos y familiares: “friends and members of the family”. A common and useful word in Spanish beginning with “f” is the word for “easy” which is fácil. Notice that the emphasis on this word falls on the first syllable “FA” and not on the “cil”. This is opposite in meaning to difícil which also has the accent on the second to last syllable – di FIC il. I point this out because I frequently hear these words mispronounced by placing the emphasis at the end of the words. Another useful “F” word is “fijo”. It means “fixed”, but it is often added to a statement as a way of emphasizing the truth of an assertion, like saying “I’m certain” or “for sure”. For example – “dos más dos son cuatro – fijo” (Two and two are four – for sure). Fijo is also used when talking about telephones: un teléfono fijo means a “landline”. The word for “fire” begins with F – fuego, and this gives us our saying for this week: “El que con fuego juega, se quema.” This means “He who plays with fire burns himself”. We might say in English “If you play with fire, you’ll burn yourself.” I think the meaning is obvious but it’s one of those things we might occasionally need to say to people who like to live dangerously.


28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011


Eye-care advice for the over 60s

AS WE age, our eyes undergo many changes and even those with 20:20 vision while young will most likely require glasses when they reach their 60s and 70s. While some changes are perfectly natural and nothing to worry about, older eyes are also more susceptible to certain issues, which if left undiagnosed and untreated can lead to irreversible damage and sometimes total vision loss. After the age of 60, it is vital that you schedule regular eyetests to allow for early diagnosis of any problems and visit your optician if you notice any significant changes to your vision. Your optician can examine your eye, diagnose the problem and

suggest the correct treatment or course of action to minimise any issues. They can also prescribe the right glasses to counteract the aging process and allow you to lead a full and active life. Optical chain Specsavers has 25 years of experience caring for their patients’ eyes around the world. They have compiled a list of issues to look out for as you get older and how these conditions can be treated. CATARACTS Cataracts are common in over-60s. The lens becomes opaque, blurring vision and even leading to loss of sight if left untreated. Early on, the condition may cause near-sightedness and the reduction in perception of blue colours. Surgery is the most effective way to restore vision. DIABETIC RETINOPATHY Diabetes can cause tiny blood vessels to leak or burst, blurring sight and leaving dark spots on the field of vision. Early diagnosis and treatment can help prevent loss of sight. FLOATERS Tiny ‘spots’ or ‘blobs’ in the field or vision are often just harmless clusters of cells and will disappear without worry. If they persist, it is worth checking with an optician, however, as they may be a sign of another condition.

GLAUCOMA A build-up of fluid within the eye can increase pressure, which in turn damages the optic nerve. The loss of visual field often occurs gradually and slowly, and may be recognised by the sufferer only when at an advanced stage. This loss of vision can never be recovered, so prompt diagnosis is essential. Treatment is via simple eye drops. MACULAR DEGENERATION In older people, the macula – the centre of the retina which is used for detailed vision – thins and occasionally bleeds. This can lead to distortion of, or even the loss of, central vision. The sufferer may also have trouble discerning colours. Peripheral vision remains unaffected, but central vision loss is serious, so early diagnosis and treatment is vital. Specsavers has four Spanish stores where you can have your eyes checked by a fully-qualified, English-speaking Optician. Visit to find your nearest store.


28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011

Non-specific back pain


Joan McLellan

M.C.S.P S.R.P Grad Dip

THE BACK Pain Association estimates 3 million Brits consult their family doctor annually: few get through life without suffering back pain at some time - the majority through abuse, such as heavy workers thinking they are strong - they often abuse their spines. Usually

muscular strains correct themselves quickly with rest and massage. However ‘Non Specific Back Pain’ describes recurrent episodes. It is wise to seek medical advice to eliminate any specific cause. 99% of cases are classed as ‘non-specific’ (when the cause of pain is unclear). Possibly it is over stretching of ligaments or muscles or problems in the small facet joints between the vertebrae. Causes of pain are impossible to prove by tests. General examination is normally sufficient for diagnosis of definite symptoms, with specific tests advised. Pain is nearly always the result of an accident involving a fall involving jolts or twists, resulting in: A compressional force through the vertebrae and discs A hard jolt to the lumbar-sacral joint at the base of the spine and pelvis Sharp stretching of ligaments: possible tears The facet joints become bruised The body’s response and repair mechanism comes into action

The inflammatory reaction ensures increased blood to the affected area and spasm occurs to splint the area to allow the joint surface to recuperate In most joints protective spasm works well but in the case of the back it actually maintains the injury to the joint. Once the major muscle spasm reduces and the back feels okay there is still an underlying problem: The small muscles recover and get rid of waste slower, causing a ‘traffic jam’. Later a bout of strenuous work or lifting will cause a build up of spasm followed by pain… TREATMENT The spasm must be reduced, pressure taken off the joint and circulation improved so that stagnant oedema is squeezed out, making room for fresh fluid to filter in. The ligaments also need to be stretched if relief is to be permanent. I personally use electric frequencies and ultra sound to reduce inflammation and advise heat or cold for home treatment, and mobilisation techniques. Massage encourages the muscle

to come out of spasm and gets rid of oedema. Do not confine yourself to bed: keep the muscle working. Apply ice to help reduce pain and muscle spasm. Specific simple exercises advised by your Physio. Prescribed anti-inflammatory drugs and muscle relaxants.

This article has been written by Joan McLellan a physiotherapist since 1974. Joan has surgeries at the L’Ancora Tennis Club in Javea, at the Clinica Britannia in Calpe, and at the Family Medical Centre in Albir, and she will also do home visits whenever necessary. For more information call 609 954 237 or email

28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011


PRESBYOPIA - The loss of ability to see near objects clearly What is it? Is there a solution? LIVING EACH DAY WITH QUALITY VISION


Silvia Moner

of the Denia, Clinica Baviera

What is Presbyopia? A normal eye, when at rest, is able to focus on objects in the distance. When you need to view objects close up, such as a book, mobile phone screen or a restaurant menu, the eye must change focus. This change in focus is carried out by the crystalline lens. First signs of Pryopia are: The need for extra light when reading, the need to hold objects at arms length in order to see them clearly. The crystalline lense is located behind the iris, and it helps to focus images, working much like the zoom of a camera. Over time, the crystalline lens loses its elasticity and, consequently, its ability to view close up objects clearly. The inability to function properly is what is known as presbyopia. The elasticity is not lost overnight. It gradually reduces from the age of around 40 - 45 years of age over a period of 10 years, until it is lost altogether. At CLINICA BAVIERA, we offer personalised treatments for presbyopia, which include: Multifocal Vision (inter-ocular lens) This treatment involves removing the natural crystalline lens, that is losing or has already lost its ability to focus on near objects, and replacing it with

an artificial inter-ocular lens. This artificial lens allows the brain to choose the best focus, whether close or far, giving patients an excellent range of vision without the need for glasses. This type of treatment is a permanent solution. Using this technique means we are able to replace the deteriorated crystalline lens and also correct other associated impairments, such as long or short-sightedness. Combined Vision (Combined Laser Vision) Combined vision is a laser treatment similar to the treatment used to correct nearsightedness. Although we use both eyes when looking at objects, one is more specialised for distance vision (dominant eye) and the other for seeing close up (non-dominant eye). Combined Laser Vision treatment enhances this function, thus making it possible to see close up and far away without the need for glasses. Multifocal Vision or Combined Vision? Both techniques aim to give patients a level of vision, both near and distance, suitable for everyday life, eliminating the total dependence on glasses or contact lenses. Both are outpatient treatments, and recovery time is very quick. During your first appointment at the clinic, our opthalmologists will study your case individually and will indicate the most appropriate treatment for you.

No One Takes Better Care of Your Eyes If you are suffering from Presbyopia and would like to do something about it, see our voucher in RTN and come and see us in our clinic in Denia for a free no obligation consultation. We treat many english speaking patients, on average about 30% of our patients are English.


28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011

Memorial trophy BIG HEARTED landlady Joan Coates set about fund raising for MABS Cancer Support Group after losing her husband Bob to the disease.

by Jack Troughton The couple ran Bar Pueblo in Calpe together and after Bob died last October, aged 59 and just 63 days after being diagnosed with cancer of the thyroid, Joan was determined to help others. Instead of having flowers at Bob’s funeral, they asked for donations, and Joan also organised a pool competition at the bar – with 10 teams of three competing for the Bob Coates Memorial Shield. And last Friday Joan presented MABS’ president Jacqui Phillips MBE with 710€, saying: “I

just wanted to give some money to help other people in a similar situation. “Cancer is such a terrible thing, I have not been in such a situation before, and it was such a shock.” She said she was supported by her daughter Clair after losing Bob. “We bought the bar 10 years ago to be together and enjoyed running the bar together.” Pictured at Bar Puebloare Joan holding the trophy and (from left) MABS’ Sue Bond and Jacqui Phillips, and the pool competition winning team from A Class Plumbing, Mark Moakes, Scott and Ges Arnold.

Manicurist to the stars CLAIRE OF popular nail salon ‘Claires’ located in the Indoor Market, Benidorm, has opened a second Hair, Beauty and Nail salon in Albir on Sunday 9th October. The ceremonial ribbon was cut by ‘Loose Women’ star Sherrie Hewson, Tim Healy and Mathew Kelly. They could not wait to plunge their hard working feet into Albir’s exlusive Garra Ruffa fish spa. The new salon is located on the main High Street, 100m past Europasol Estate agents, on the same side, where the pavement opens on the left into a pedestrian area. The banner above the door will read ‘Claire’s Hair, Beauty and Nails’ as Claire is expanding Stars of her current nails and beauty the TV treatments to include hair. series Claire has built up quite Benidorm a reputation as ‘manicurist to the stars’ when she was called upon last year to do Tim Healy’s nails for his ‘drag’ scene in the Benidorm series 4. Since then she has manicured Denise Welch, Shelly Longworth and most recently Sherrie Hewson who has just joined the Benidorm cast filming in resort for the 5th series. Claire is holding a Ladies Evening on Thursday 17th November from 7pm. Many special offers, make up demonstrations and free trial treatments available including manicures, massages and fish spa’s available…why not come along and join in the fun? You may even bump into a star… For more information call 603 306 803.

28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011

Winning hearts and minds Back to


help heroes ENTERTAINER MATT Mason returned from his own battle with cancer to support a Help for Heroes’ Race Night and raise more than 896€. The event at the El Cid Restaurant, Benidoleig, included a three course meal and was a popular success – and with the earlier Rock and Roll Show has swelled funds raised to over 2,103€. And the Northern Costa Blanca supporters of Help for Heroes are staging another fund raiser at El Cid with a Quiz night and supper. Fund raiser and organiser Keith Deacon told RTN the Race Night was a “great evening” and added: “After a long fight with cancer, our host for the evening was Matthew Mason, who with his wife Sally, did a marvellous job.” He thanked Julie’s Corner Shop, Orba, El Cid Restaurant, El cid Bowls Club, the Linen Mill, Benissa, Bar Gat, Benigembla, and Direct Optik for sponsoring races. Tickets for the quiz and fish and chip or chicken and chip supper are 12.50€ and the evening begins at 7pm. They are available by calling Keith on 96 5581472 or emailing

The cheque presentation

by Jack Troughton THE TARTAN Army Children’s Charity marched into Altea to the swirl of pipes and drums to make a 17,000€ donation to the town’s EMAUS children’s home. Football supporters make up the charity which travels the world following the fortunes of Scotland – sadly the team lost 3-1 to Spain in Alicante. However, good humour prevailed and Scottish flags –drawn by the youngsters – proudly flew as they entertained the children.

Autumn Fair raises an amazing 1,600€ THANKS TO the generosity of Pepe of El Cisne, Benidorm, donating space for 10 tables at El Cisne on Friday 14th October free of charge - those 10 tables being supplied by Benidorm Town Hall free of charge HELP Benidorm raised over 1,600€. HELP’s grateful thanks go to every bar, hairdressing salon, restaurant and business that donated items/ vouchers for the Fair to help raise this wonderful amount of money. Thanks must also go to HELP members and friends who worked so hard on the day to make the Fair such a success. All money that is raised is used in the local area to assist local people - so a very big thank you to everyone concerned.

The charity contacted Bay Radio in July regarding making a donation to underprivileged children as members would be in Spain for the European Championship clash – since it formed in 2005, the charity has supported kids in Europe and Africa as Scotland travelled the world for matches. The money will be used to provide a football pitch for the children, a children’s play area and equipment for the EMAUS baby unit. Money was raised for the donation through the sale of the unique charity kilt and the annual kilt walk from Glasgow to Loch Lomond.

Expats support school

Nurse praises hospital team RETIRED NURSE Carole Roberts passed away aged 67 in Denia Hospital on 28th September after a two year battle with cancer. After a nursing career stretching 45 years, the last 11 years as a Matron of a 60-bed nursing home, she maintained both the treatment she received and the standard of care in the hospital were “second to none.” Carole lived in Calpe with her husband David, who told RTN donations were collected in Carole’s memory and 750€ was donated to Jacqui Phillips MBE, President of the MABS Cancer Support Group. David explained he was asked if he would prefer to receive flowers from well-wishers or did he have another preference. “I decided, in conjunction with Tony and Marjorie Prebble, to collect donations that we could give to a charitable cause.” He said MABS was chosen after becoming associated with the charity through the Marina Alta Golf Society. “Although we were not golfers,

Carole Roberts

we attended a number of their social functions in recent years and when they began to support MABS last year – and raised a stunning 4,000€ for them – we learned what these people do for cancer sufferers and their families and it became very close to our hearts because of Carole’s illness,” said David. “We would like to thank our many friends for their generous donations, it is a tribute to the memory of someone they clearly loved and respected and the donation will be presented to Jacqui by the committee of the Marina Alta Golf Society on our behalf.”

MONEY RAISED at a British-style ‘fair’ in Benigembla helped towards the cost of a new photocopier for the village school. Organised by expats living on the Vernissa Park urbanisation last summer’s fair proved a huge success and a cheque for 1,500€ was presented to Raquel, the new head teacher, who has already launched a parents and teachers association to help fund educational trips for youngsters. The money was originally intended to support a new medical centre in the village but the project has been put on ice until financial circumstances improve.


28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011


Gadget Inspector investigates the case of:

Halloween Horrors THIS WEEK the Inspector gets ready for trick-or-treating with a trio of gadgets sure to liven up your Halloween. Halloween is thought to have originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated 1st November ‘All Saints’ Day’, a time to honour all saints and martyrs. The evening before was known as All Hallows’ Eve and later Halloween. Over time, Halloween evolved into a community event with child-friendly activities such as trick-or-treating. And now welcome to Gadget Halloween… Our first Halloween treat is the €30 Electronic Serial Killer Shower Curtain. Shower time is supposed to be a relaxing and soothing experience, but you´ll be guaranteed anything but once the theme music from Psycho and the screaming sound effects start. The audio is activated by both sound and motion, so there’ll be no escape. It´s not all gloom and doom: there are the added benefits of shorter bathroom visits and saving on the hot water to be considered. Next we have the charmingly named €25 Skullhub USB. Surprisingly this isn´t a real skull but one made out of resin. But you don´t have to tell your co-

workers that - just say it´s what is left of the last person who borrowed your pen. The brains have been scooped out to make a handy receptacle for knickknacks, and there are 4 USB ports to connect your devices. A single cable and USB plug connect to your PC. Now where did I put that USB powered chainsaw… And finally, for the more subtle pranksters amongst us, is the €250 ShockGunz. Forget about any subtlety, these bad boys come in several varieties such as “ClownCrazy”, “MasterBlaster” and “Smackyomama”. All feature bright lights and loud horns. All you need do is sneak up behind someone and press the trigger of this portable fear cannon then cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war! Looking like a chainsaw, but with half the weight and an optional sling, the ShockGunz will make Halloween more like the holocaust. And it doesn´t need a licence so the only sort of arrest you´re likely to experience is cardiac. The Inspector´s Verdict: Leave the sweets and so-called scary costumes to the kids, there are some serious Halloween havoc causing gadgets out there. Apparently Wayne Rooney masks are in demand this year, but don´t be tempted – these will scare the adults as well as the kids.

28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011


Deleting email addresses

Computing with aunty virus

Problems with Logitech webcam is driving me crazy Charles via email asks: HI AUNTY. This is the first time I have needed to contact you with a problem which is driving me crazy. I have XP with Broadband 2mb and installed a Logitech webcam. Two weeks ago my screen started to freeze up after connecting with another user after 30 seconds and I have to pull the plug to exit as there is no mouse or keyboard control. I was using Skype 2.2 and have since tried older versions 2.1 and 3.8 and now running the latest 5.5 with no effect. I de-selected my video out and the program runs for approximately two to three minutes then freezes up, then de-selected incoming

video and it will then operate as normal with audio only. I also undertook a System Restore to a date prior to this malfunction. I have also scanned the system with AVG and Malwarebytes and SuperAntiSpyware which showed no nasties. Any suggestions to solve this problem would be much appreciated. Aunty Says: Hello Charles. The first thing to try is to download and install the very latest drivers for both your webcam and your graphics card from the manufacturer’s website. The webcam should be fairly easy to find under the support section on but graphics cards aren’t generally that simple, especially

Not come across this before

Diana via email asks: I AM having a grey box by AVG come up on the bottom right hand corner of my computer screen and do not understand why. It has only started coming up since I down loaded the free AVG 2012. The box is as follows: “AVG has detected high memory usage Windows Internet explorer...etc.” and prompts me to click on a message “Change when these notifications appear.” I have not clicked on the last line in case something goes wrong! I have spoken to our internet provider/server and they have not come across this before. If you could shed any light on this it would be much appreciated. Aunty Says: Hi Diana. I’m pretty sure this is just a minor bug in the new AVG2012 and you can simply ignore it. If it does get too annoying then start the AVG interface (either from the desktop icon or right click on the icon in the bottom right) and go to ‘tools’ ‘advance settings’ ‘appearance’ and un-tick “display AVG advisor performance”.

in XP. I find the easiest way is to use the built in Windows tool called ‘dxdiag’ which you can get by going to ‘start’ ‘run’ and type dxdiag into the box. Say ‘no’ to the message about unsigned drivers and you should be able to browse around to see what hardware you have. If dxdiag all seems a bit daunting then you can click the ‘save all information’ button and email me the results.

Joan via email asks: I READ your article on trying to delete email address to remove names from the drop down list on my computer and I have followed your instruction but cannot get it to work. I also have another task I need help with. Until recently when I put my memory stick, or my camera chip or CD, into the USB port a box comes onto my screen automatically and asks what I wanted to do (copy to a folder etc) but now it does not do this. I have to go into My Computer to access the files. How can I get it back to normal? Aunty Says: Hi Joan. That method of removing names from the list normally works, are you getting any error messages when you try it? The feature you refer to is called ‘autorun’ and it can be switched back on in a number of ways. There should be a box you can tick when the popup box/windows appears that will let you set autorun to always start. In Windows 7 and Vista there is also a setting for ‘auto play’ in control panel. With XP you can check the auto run setting if you right click on the USB drive or CD from ‘my computer’ and choose ‘properties’. There is a tool called TweakUI from the download section of that will also let you toggle this feature in XP.

Bookmarks button doesn’t work Terence via email asks: DEAR AUNTY. Great column keep it going! I have 2 computers both running Windows XP with Firefox 3 and both have Google toolbar. The bookmarks button on the Google toolbar no longer works on either of my 2 computers. When I select the bookmarks button I am invited to sign in. This I do but the bookmarks button still does not

enable the list of bookmarks. The problem occurred on both computers simultaneously, so I am thinking it is a Google problem. Aunty Says: The first thing I would suggest Terence is to update your Firefox to the new version 7. You may then be prompted to upgrade the Google toolbar which will more than likely solve your problem.

That’s all for this week, email me on and I will do my best to sort you out


28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Home Garden by

Clodagh & Dick Handscombe Practical gardeners and authors

COLOURFUL AUTUMN GARDENS Cool mornings and evenings, the first autumn rains have changed gardens planted with some Autumn flowering plants such lantanas, tulbaghias, sages, euryops, bignononias, callistemons, portulacas and nasturtiums. If you don’t have colour all the year round look through the plant lists and descriptions in the book ‘Your Garden in Spain’. There is a column indicating flowering times. OUR LATEST BOOK Our book ‘Living Well from Our Garden in Spain’ is taking off nicely. It can now be purchased by Paypal directly from our website as can our other books. Humpty Dumpty stocks the book and it will soon be in Bookworld stores. Amazingly, the book was mentioned seven times in the first ten items of a Google search totally 234 million items this morning. The retail price is only 3.9€ and 5€ including postage via our website. AUTUMN TALKS We are giving the following talks over the next month: 28th October, U3A Javea 3rd November, Oasis Gardening Club Rugat 11th November, Monte Pego Social Club 17th November, Parcent Gardening Group By popular request we plan to bring some comfrey cuttings to each talk. If garden or social clubs would like spring talks please contact us as soon as possible via our website

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Autumn reflections APARTMENT GARDENS Over the past ten years more and more people have started to actively garden on roof tops and terraces. In Valencia a new tower block is being developed with every terrace planted up before owners move in. For others our book Apartment Gardening Mediterranean Style includes many photographs illustrating what can be done and explains what plants are best used. Incidentally many garden centres and stores such as Leroy Merlin currently stock spring bulbs. They can look great in balcony and terrace containers. OLIVES The long summer has brought on olives early this year. We expect to harvest the third week of November for pickling and pressing for oil. If you intend to have some of your olives pressed, do make early reservations at your nearest mill so that you don’t have to store your harvested olives too long. If you have an olive tree or two but have never pickled any before the step by step process is explained in the book ‘Growing Healthy Fruit in Spain’. GARLIC As explained in ‘Living Well from Our Garden’ garlic is perhaps the healthiest vegetable or herb to grow. It can be planted now for young stems for winter salads and cooked dishes and for growing on to harvest next summer. For young harvests the garlic segments can be planted close together with just their tips showing so are easily grown on apartment terraces in pots or window boxes. If you have roses plant a couple of garlic segments under each bush to deter aphids. A garlic spray made by pouring warm water over

Clodagh and Dick’s instructive books are available to help you achieve a great garden from scratch or improve an existing garden. You will find them in bookshops including Bookworld, Carrefor and Humpty Dumpty. For convenience many internet bookshops stock them including Santana Books, Amazon UK, Bookworld and The Royal Horticultural Society. © Clodagh and Dick Handscombe

Home & Garden

Olives are early this year

crushed garlic makes a useful insecticide and can help deter geranium moths. TEN-TUB VEGETABLE PLOTS You will find this idea explained in Growing Healthy Vegetables in Spain. It is ideal for small gardens and roof tops. Our experimental version uses ten large sized builders’ buckets currently planted up with garlic, carrots, dwarf beans, lambs lettuce, lettuces, mini turnips, broad beans,

fennel, radishes and Swiss chard. You can start with just one and build up as you have successes. Clodagh and Dicks’ books are all practical and of proven benefit to both novice and more experienced gardeners. They will help you speedily understand how to garden in a Mediterranean climate whether living on the coastal plain or inland. They make good buys for personal use or moving in or Christmas presents.

28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Winter is coming Stay warm with MARK BLACKLOCK has been a Central Heating and Air Conditioning Installer for 10 years, having trained as a Heating engineer in the UK. Excel are one of the Costa Blanca’s largest installers of Gas and Oil central heating systems, and they know a thing or two about keeping your home warm and your water hot. What’s more, because Excel always fit energy efficient systems, they can help you cut your energy bills and do your bit for the environment too. All Excel boiler installation quotes are fixed so

Install a Gas Central Heating System with 5 radiators for €3,400 or an Oil Central Heating System with 5 radiators for €4,300

even if there is unexpected work, you won’t pay a penny more. As you can see from their advert, they can install a Gas Central Heating System with 5 radiators for €3,400 including IVA, whilst an Oil Central Heating System with 5 radiators costs €4,300, also including the IVA. If you have fewer or more rooms that you wish to heat that is fine; Mark will simply give you a fixed all-in price, so that you can be sure what you are paying. Mark is passionate at providing a great service. Excel is fully licensed to install Oil and Gas systems, the work will meet the highest safety and quality standards and all appropriate paperwork will be issued. Excel strongly recommends that when deciding on a new boiler you make sure to opt for an A-rated boiler for maximum efficiency and long term cost savings. And talking of the years ahead, whenever your system needs servicing Excel offer a full and rapid maintenance service. So call Excel today for a free quotation and quality advice. Excel accept all Credit and Debit cards but in fact no deposit is required at the outset: payment is upon completion, when you have seen the quality of Excel’s work and are 100% happy with your new central heating system.

Tel / Fax (Head Office) 96 687 7009: Mobile 680 154 432 or 676 265 675.

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28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Carpet Heaven anniversary sale WELL THE temperatures are definitely dropping quickly day by day now; quite a shock to the system after a gorgeous long summer. During the summer months the coolness of our ceramic tiles is an absolute godsend. However, don’t you find them the complete opposite at this time of year? They turn cold and quite unwelcoming. Covering your tiles in the winter months not only makes your home nice and cosy, but can also insulate your home against the cold. Carpet Heaven offers several options for your lounge, bedrooms, bathroom and kitchen. And we can supply traditionally fitted carpet, or edged carpet to your exact requirements. The benefit of the edged option is that you can cover a large area and simply remove it during the summer months if you wish. We also have a great selection of Quality traditional rugs and luxurious deep pile modern rugs in up to date fashionable colours and designs. In addition, we can also supply cushioned vinyl flooring and carpet tiles. Not just rugs and carpets at Carpet Heaven - we also supply and fit vertical and roller blinds as well as a great range of luxury top end breakfast and bar stools. Carpet Heaven has been operating for two years now and continues to grow in both sales and new ranges: we continue to source top quality goods from the best manufacturers across Europe. A celebratory 2nd Anniversary Sale is to be held between 2nd and 12th November 2011, with a 10% discount off all stock and orders. In addition to this you will have the chance to win an extra 10% off your purchase in our Paul Cunningham Nurses Lucky Dip, for ₏1: simply choose an envelope and you could double your discount to 20%. All proceeds from the lucky dip will be donated in full to Paul Cunningham Nurses.

Home & Garden

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28 OCT - 3 NOV 2011

Is your property for sale a silk purse or a sow’s ear?

LOVE AT first sight, the commonly used adage, is no exception to the rule when it comes to buyers who plan to buy a residential property in Spain. Professional estate agents need to capture buyers’ attention with the very first photograph, making the buyer fall in love with the property at first sight. With professional photography estate agents not only have an ideal marketing tool but also the perfect medium to make a positive first impression on potential buyers. Nowadays, hunting for a residential property starts with the internet, which makes it even more important for estate agents to use professional photographs to present the properties in their portfolio to maximum effect. As more and more buyers turn to the internet to look for their ideal property on the Costa Blanca, it is essential that your property gains the buyer’s attention through professional photography. An estate agent’s property listing should stand out from the competition, grabbing the buyer’s attention quickly and displaying the property to maximum effect. Good quality point-and-shoot cameras now allow even the amateur to take reasonable quality photos but this is not enough to make your property stand out from the crowd. A potential buyer wants to get a good feel of the property by just looking at the pictures of the property. They do not want to waste their

time looking at properties that do not match their needs. How often have you looked in an estate agent’s window or scrolled through their property listings and been put off by either the lack of photographs or the poor quality of the photographs they have available? The professional photographer is well-equipped to produce top quality photographs, where the tricks of their trade, such as good composition, good lighting and the use of ultra-wide lenses, can be combined with the latest photo-editing software to produce brilliant photographs that make your property stand out from the crowd. And where you have a professional photographer who specialises in property photography, they can also use their knowledge of what both buyers and sellers want to maximise viewings of the property and achieve the sale of the property. Research conducted by reputable organisations confirms the importance of professional photography in marketing your property effectively and making a positive impact on potential buyers. By having well composed and professionally edited photographs, the property owner can help the buyer visualise themselves in the property, persuading them to view it and maximising the opportunities of achieving a sale. In a modern competitive property market, the skills and abilities of the professional property photographer are essential in achieving a sale.

By Guest Writer Michael Rushe of Javea Estates

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28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011

Compiled by

Eric Taylor Presenter Heat Gold 94.1FM

music scene

Zodiac Duo - Gary & Keith Z ODIAC ARE the ‘People’s Favourite’ vocal harmony duo on the Costa Blanca, covering songs from the 60s to date. Since moving to Spain in March 2001 they have worked hard to earn their reputation as being great entertainers as well as singers. Zodiac is also very popular with the local Masonic Lodges; Bowls Clubs; Social Clubs etc., as entertainers for dinner / dances. For a fun night’s entertainment, get along and enjoy the boys’ show. For more information phone: 661 179 765. GIGS FOR NOVEMBER Tuesday 1st, Rio Connection Bar Benidorm (Every Tuesday)

Wednesday 2nd, Tower Lounge Benidorm (Every Wednesday) Thursday 3rd, Hotel Rio Park Benidorm (Every Thursday) Saturday 5th, Bar Lirios, Cumbre del Sol Sunday 6th, Rio Connection Bar Benidorm (Every Sunday) Monday 7th, Hotel Rio Park Benidorm (Every Monday) Saturday19th, Camping Naranjal Caravan Park Javea. Friday 25th, El Paraiso Restaurant, Parcent

Aspects of Musicals Careline Theatre 30th November

VERNON AND Celia Pearce are promoting a show ‘Aspects of Musicals’ which they are staging at the Careline Theatre in Alcalali at 8pm on Wednesday 30th November with a sizeable donation going to the cancer support charity, MABS. ‘Aspects of Musicals’ is an evening of songs from the hit musicals of the West End and Broadway including Chess, Les Miserables, West Side Story, Jekyll and Hyde and Phantom of the Opera. The show stars Rob Sweeney and Gill Henry, artistes well-known and well-loved in venues around the north of the Costa Blanca; a follow-up to the ‘Music Showcase’ that Vernon and Celia staged at the Careline Theatre in September 2010. For more details visit, where you can hear Rob Sweeney singing ‘Empty Chairs at Empty Tables’ from Les Miserables. Tickets at10€ are already selling fast: don’t miss out. Ring the box office on 96 557 7461 to reserve your tickets.

The Nomad - Live Music Show BRUCE IS the incredibly lively singer, blues harmonica and saxophone player with the trademark long black coat, top hat, and stuffed white rat on his shoulder. Previously Bruce specialised in rock and blues music, but now The Nomad - Live Music Show contains a much bigger and wider, range of songs. Bruce can be contacted on: 629 809 638, or via his website: BOOKINGS FOR OCTOBER Saturday 12th, Camping El Naranja, Friday 28th, Bar Quo Vadis, Javea Javea Sunday 30th, Metro Bar, Calpe Saturday 19th, Coll De Rates Monday 31st, Magnum’s Bar, Oliva Restaurant (CV715), Parcent 13.30 Saturday 19th, Bar Delphin, BOOKINGS FOR NOVEMBER Camping Los Lanos, El Vergel Sunday 6th, Arthurs Bar, Els Poblets, Sunday 27th, Metro Bar, Calpe 4.30pm

JJ Jones – Neil Diamond Tribute

JJ JONES is very accomplished singer/guitarist who comes over to Spain normally once a month for a few days. He has worked the circuit in the south of England, cruise ships and for five years toured Australia with his seven piece band. His act is a two hour spectacular of Neil Diamond’s hits (from the Hot August Night album to the film The Jazz Singer). For more information check out his web site: GIGS IN OCTOBER Friday 28th, The Square Bar, La Manga Saturday 29th, The Courtyard, Los Balcones, Torrevieja Sunday 30th, The Creaso Inn, Torrevieja GIGS IN NOVEMBER Tuesday 1st, Bar Quo Vadis, Javea Friday 4th, Bar 23, Jalon Saturday 5th, Bar Fornvell, Orbeta Sunday 6th, Spencer’s Bistro, Moravit, Moraira

ET’s Golden Oldies Disco Tel: 965 748 199 or 659 921 875 or email: If there are any music venues or acts that wish to be featured in this column,please contact Eric directly.

Rollercoaster ride to Benidorm

28 OCT - 03 NOV 2011


by Jack Troughton


AMEO ENTERTAINERS ride into Benidorm on Saturday 19th November to perform their hit show ‘Rollercoaster of Love’ at Ciudad Patricia Senior Resort, Benidorm. This show is full of well known songs, exciting dance routines and colourful costumes and has been described as “the best evening’s entertainment we’ve seen in ages.” Tickets for the show, to be held in the cinema theatre in the central building, are just 5€ and can be obtained by calling the Cameo Box Office on 656 483 645. Doors will open at 7.30pm and the show will commence at 8pm. HELP International Benidorm will be organising a raffle on the night to raise funds for their charity. HELP are a registered charitable organisation, with no political or religious affiliations, run by volunteers to provide help to residents and visitors in emergencies and times of need. CAMEO looks forward to entertaining you and raising money for this worthwhile cause.

5 course fine dining including ½ bottle wine pp bread, ali-oli and dips-

“Matchmaker, make me a match!” FOOTLIGHTS PRODUCTION of Broadway’s musical ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ (Dutch and German patrons know the show as ‘Anatevka’) hits Alfaz del Pi on Friday 11th and Saturday 12th November, going on to Calpe, on Monday 21st and Tuesday 22nd November. The cast of 30 heads south for a performance in the Teatro Municipal, Torrevieja on Wednesday 23rd November, in association with the Royal British Legion in Spain, District North. All performances are at 8pm and tickets are now on sale (adults 12€, Children (under14) 8€) at the Box office for Alfaz and Calpe Tel: 652 404 798, Monday to Friday mornings 11am to 1pm. There is a discount for group bookings of 10 or more. Tickets for the Torrevieja performance may be purchased at the theatre, Tuesday to Friday 11am The milkman’s unmarried daughters long for a handsome young husband. (L to R) Crystal Goudie, Annette Hodge, Olivia Partington, and Megan Wilmot to 1pm or online from

Rafol welcomes Blithe Spirit

THE MONTE Pego Theatre Company is well into rehearsal for its autumn production of Noel Coward’s comedy classic Blithe Spirit, directed by Peter G Williams. The ghost of Charles Condomine’s first wife, Elvira, returns from the dead, making life uncomfortable for Charles. Second wife Ruth (Debbie Wallis) cannot see Elvira and Charles must convince her he is neither mad nor drunk! Séances Charles organises are attended by Madame Arcati (Jane Corbett) and Dr and Mrs Bradman played by Derek Stubley and Andrea Berry (pictured) in a debut appearance for MPTC. Blithe Spirit is at Rafol on Thursday Friday and Saturday, 24th, 25th and 26th November with a Thursday matinee at 3pm for those who prefer not to drive in the dark. The Friday and Saturday performances will be at 8pm. Tickets at 12€ (group bookings available 11 for price of 10) include a charity donation and a free interval drink, booked by phoning 635 688 990 or online at


Now taking bookings for Christmas & New Year,




tv Friday

28 OCT 3 NOV 2011 Feb 26 - March 4 2010

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Indian Doctor 16:00 BBC News 16:05 Barney’s Latin America 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Stuck on Sheep Mountain 17:30 Planet Dinosaur Files 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Cooking 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 A Question of Sport 22:00 Have I Got News for You 22:30 Would I Lie to You? 23:00 BBC News 23:35 Graham Norton Show 24:20 National Lottery Friday Night Draws

07:00 Childrens TV 11:05 I Can Cook 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 The Culture Show 21:00 Gardeners’ World 21:30 Autumnwatch Live 22:30 Autumnwatch Unsprung 23:00 QI 23:30 Newsnight 24:00 The Review Show 24:45 Weather 24:50 Later... with Jools Holland

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 There’s No Taste Like Home 18:00 The Chase 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Wild Britain with Ray Mears 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 An Audience with Barry Manilow 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Granada News 23:35 Bridget Jones: the Edge of Reason

07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 How to Look Good Naked 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:05 Channel 4 Presents 14:10 River Cottage Bites 14:20 Two Thousand Women 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:30 Unreported World 20:55 Channel 4 Presents 21:00 Come Dine with Me 22:00 Derren Brown: The Gameshow 23:10 Pete Versus Life 23:45 8 Out of 10 Cats 24:15 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:35 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 16:10 Cheating Fate 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Fifth Gear 21:00 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 The Bachelor 24:00 Big Brother 24:30 Big Brother’s Bit on the Side

07:00 Breakfast 09:30 Formula 1 12:00 Saturday Kitchen Live 13:00 BBC News Regional News 13:15 Football Focus 14:00 Formula 1 15:00 Live Rugby League 17:30 Final Score 18:10 A Question of Sport 18:40 BBC News Regional News 19:00 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing 21:10 Merlin 21:55 Casualty 22:45 National Lottery Saturday Night Draws 22:55 BBC News 23:15 Match of the Day 24:45 The Football League Show

07:00 Childrens TV 08:50 Dennis & Gnasher 09:05 Pixelface 09:35 Splatalot 10:00 Live ‘n’ Deadly 11:00 Who Let the Dogs Out? 11:30 I Want My Own Room 12:00 Deadly Art 12:15 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 12:40 MOTD Kickabout 13:00 Swing Time 14:40 Bye Bye Birdie 16:30 Coast 16:40 Escape to the Country 17:40 Great British Food Revival 18:40 Flog It! 19:40 Operation Jericho 20:40 ‘Allo ‘Allo! 21:10 Dad’s Army 21:40 Code-Breakers: Bletchley Park’s Lost Heroes 22:40 QI XL 23:25 Laughs in the Park 24:25 TOTP2

06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:15 CITV 10:25 Coronation Street 13:10 This Morning: Saturday 14:10 ITV News 14:15 100% You’ve Been Framed! 15:15 Babe: Pig in the City 17:00 Bean 18:35 Granada News 18:45 ITV News 19:00 The Chase 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 21:00 The X Factor 22:45 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 23:45 ITV News 24:00 Constantine

08:00 Commonwealth Mountain and Ultra Distance Championships 08:55 The Morning Line 09:55 Smallville 10:50 Made in Chelsea 11:50 Inside SBTV: From Bedroom to Boardroom 12:20 Shipwrecked: A Look Back 13:25 Big Bang Theory 13:55 The Simpsons 14:25 Road to London 2012: That Paralympic Show 14:55 Channel 4 Racing 17:10 Come Dine with Me 18:10 Come Dine with Me 19:15 Come Dine with Me 19:45 The Simpsons 20:15 Channel 4 News 20:45 World War II: The Last Heroes 21:45 Jamie’s Great Britain 22:45 The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past 24:45 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut

07:00 Childrens TV 08:20 Make Way for Noddy 08:40 Hana’s Helpline 08:55 Little Princess 09:05 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:15 Mr Men Show 10:30 Roary the Racing Car 10:45 Animal Families 11:00 Animal Rescue Squad 11:20 The Gadget Show 12:20 Highland Emergency 12:50 Big Brother 13:50 Big Brother 14:20 They Were Expendable 16:55 Gun for a Coward 18:40 5 News Weekend 18:45 Brannigan 21:00 A Fistful of Dollars 22:45 Big Brother 23:45 Kickboxer

07:00 Breakfast 08:00 Match of the Day 09:30 Formula 1 13:00 The Politics Show 14:10 Escape to the Country 15:10 Formula 1 17:10 Frozen Planet 18:10 Points of View 18:25 Songs of Praise 19:00 BBC News Regional News 19:25 Countryfile 20:25 Strictly Come Dancing 21:00 Antiques Roadshow 22:00 Da Vinci: The Lost Treasure 23:00 BBC News Regional News 23:25 Have I Got a Bit More News for You 24:10 Ask Rhod Gilbert 24:45 Smart People

07:00 Childrens TV 08:25 Arthur 08:50 Dennis & Gnasher 09:05 Frankenstein’s Cat 09:10 Jinx 09:35 Wingin’ It 10:00 Andrew Marr Show 11:00 Something for the Weekend 12:30 Great British Food Revival 13:30 Flog It! 14:00 EastEnders 15:55 Tara Road 17:30 Miss Potter 19:00 The Teaching Awards 2011 20:00 Top Gear 21:00 Tintin’s Adventure with Frank Gardner 22:00 Louis Theroux 23:00 Match of the Day 2 23:50 Fast and Loose 24:20 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 24:50 Halloween 6: the Curse of Michael Myers

06:30 ITV Morning News 07:00 Mini CITV 08:15 CITV 10:25 Monk 10:30 Horrid Henry 10:45 Planet Sketch 10:50 Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie 12:30 Nim’s Island 14:15 ITV News 14:30 Live FA Cup: First-Round Draw 15:00 The X Factor 16:45 Downton Abbey 18:00 Betty Driver Story 19:00 Granada News 19:15 ITV News 19:30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 20:00 The Cube 21:00 The X Factor 22:00 Downton Abbey 23:15 That Sunday Night Show 23:45 ITV News 24:00 Someone’s Daughter, Someone’s Son

07:50 Great London Swim 08:45 Channel 4 Presents 08:50 One Tree Hill 09:45 Hollyoaks 12:15 Professor Green Unseen 12:35 Live and Lost 12:40 T4 Movie Special 13:10 Florence and the Machine: The T4 Interview 13:20 The Simpsons 13:50 Shipwrecked: The Island 14:50 Picture Perfect 16:50 The Simpsons 17:20 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain 18:25 Deal or No Deal 19:20 Channel 4 News 19:55 The Political Slot 20:00 Grand Designs 21:00 River Cottage Veg 22:00 Secret Millionaire 23:00 Alan Carr: Chatty Man 24:10 Derren Brown: The Gameshow

07:00 Childrens TV 08:25 Make Way for Noddy 08:45 Hana’s Helpline 08:55 Little Princess 09:10 The Adventures of Bottle Top Bill and His Best Friend Corky 09:25 Angelina Ballerina 09:45 Rupert Bear 10:00 Olivia 10:10 Mr Men Show 10:25 Roary the Racing Car 10:40 Animal Families 11:00 How Do They Do It? 11:30 Great South Run Live 13:30 Inside Hollywood 13:40 Big Brother 14:40 Ice Road Truckers: Deadliest Roads 15:40 Canterville Ghost 17:25 The Ghost of Greville Lodge 19:10 Cats and Dogs 21:00 5 News Weekend 21:05 Paul Merton’s Adventures 22:00 Big Brother 23:00 Kiss of the Dragon 24:55 UFC 66

tv Saturday

tv Sunday

07:00 Coronation Street 07:25 Emmerdale 07:50 Emmerdale 08:15 Gossip Girl 09:10 Judge Judy 10:25 Real Housewives of New York City 11:30 Judge Judy 13:00 Coronation Street 13:30 Emmerdale 14:00 Emmerdale 14:30 Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 Real Housewives of New York City 17:40 Loose Women 18:40 Judge Judy 20:00 The Planet’s Funniest Animals 20:30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 21:00 100% You’ve Been Framed! 22:00 The X Factor USA 24:30 The Only Way Is Essex

07:00 One Tree Hill 07:50 Greek 08:35 90210 09:25 One Tree Hill 10:20 Gilmore Girls 11:15 Ugly Betty 12:10 90210 13:10 Greek 14:05 Scrubs 15:05 Hollyoaks 15:40 Gilmore Girls 16:35 Desperate Housewives 17:35 Rules of Engagement 18:00 Scrubs 19:00 Big Bang Theory 19:30 Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 Made in Chelsea 22:00 Supersize vs Superskinny 23:00 Embarrassing Bodies 24:05 The Idiot Awards

10:00 Deal or No Deal 11:00 How Clean Is Your House? 11:35 Murphy’s War 13:35 Deal or No Deal 14:35 The Good Wife 15:35 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 16:05 Coach Trip 16:35 Location, Location, Location 17:40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 18:45 Relocation, Relocation 19:50 Celebrity Come Dine with Me 20:55 Grand Designs 22:00 Premonition 23:50 Heroes of Comedy 24:55 Heroes of Comedy

An Audience with Barry Manilow ITV1, 22.00

07:00 Emmerdale 09:40 Gossip Girl 10:35 The Hot Desk 10:50 The Thief Lord 12:45 The X Factor USA 15:15 All Star Family Fortunes 16:15 The Only Way Is Essex 17:00 The Only Way Is Essex 17:45 Back to the Future Part III 20:00 Four of a Kind 21:00 Britain’s Biggest Babies 22:00 Grimefighters 22:30 The Hot Desk 22:45 The Xtra Factor 23:45 Celebrity Juice 24:30 Peter Andre: My Life

07:00 Switched 07:25 How to Look Good Naked 08:25 How to Look Good Naked 09:20 Wife Swap USA 10:20 Great British Hairdresser 11:25 Supernanny USA 12:20 Wife Swap USA 13:20 One Tree Hill 14:20 Hollyoaks 16:55 Made in Chelsea 18:00 Samantha Who? 18:30 Scrubs 19:25 Big Bang Theory 19:55 Big Bang Theory 20:25 Happy Endings 20:50 How I Met Your Mother 21:20 How I Met Your Mother 21:50 Big Bang Theory 22:15 Big Bang Theory 22:45 Zoolander 24:25 Misfits

10:00 A Place in the Sun 10:30 Time Team 11:30 Time Team 12:30 Time Team 13:35 Time Team 15:15 3 Minute Wonder 15:20 3 Minute Wonder 15:25 3 Minute Wonder 15:30 The Ladykillers 17:20 Grand Designs 18:25 Grand Designs 19:30 Grand Designs 20:35 Grand Designs 21:40 Grand Designs 22:45 The Story of Film: An Odyssey 24:10 Premonition

Code-Breakers: Bletchley Park’s Lost Heroes BBC2, 21.40

07:00 Coronation Street 09:30 Emmerdale 12:30 Coronation Street 15:20 71 Degrees North 16:20 The Planet’s Funniest Animals 16:45 The Xtra Factor 17:45 Peter Andre: My Life 18:50 You’ve Got Mail 21:05 The Planet’s Funniest Animals 21:25 Grimefighters 22:00 The Xtra Factor 23:15 The Only Way Is Essex 24:00 Models, Misfits and Mayhem

07:00 Natalie Cassidy: Becoming Mum 07:55 Supernanny USA 08:45 Supernanny USA 09:35 How to Look Good Naked 10:40 How to Look Good Naked 11:40 Supersize vs Superskinny 12:45 Supernanny USA 13:35 Supernanny USA 14:25 How to Look Good Naked 15:25 How to Look Good Naked 16:25 Supersize vs Superskinny 17:30 Make It or Break It 18:20 Smallville 19:20 Doctor Dolittle 21:00 X-Men 23:00 Misfits 24:00 Comedy Lab 24:40 Dead Set

You’ve Got Mail ITV2, 18.50

10:00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 11:00 Scrapheap Challenge 12:05 Scrapheap Challenge 13:10 Scrapheap Challenge Top 10 14:15 Scrapheap Challenge Roadshow 15:20 Four in a Bed 16:25 Four in a Bed 17:30 Four in a Bed 18:05 Come Dine with Me 19:15 Come Dine with Me 20:25 Come Dine with Me 20:55 Jamie at Home 21:30 Jamie at Home 22:00 Jamie’s American Food Revolution 23:00 Hunting Britain’s Most Wanted 24:05 Curb Your Enthusiasm

28 28OCT OCT- -33NOV NOV2011 2011

49 45

tv Monday

46 61

28 -OCT3 NOV2010 2011 14 20 may

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Case 16:00 BBC News 16:05 Barney’s Latin America 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Deadly Top 10 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Inside Out 21:00 EastEnders 21:30 Panorama 22:00 Young Apprentice 23:00 BBC News 23:35 A Question of Sport 24:05 John Bishop’s Britain

07:00 Childrens TV 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 New Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 University Challenge 21:30 Baking Made Easy 22:00 Origins of Us 23:00 Never Mind the Buzzcocks 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 Halloween: Resurrection

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 There’s No Taste Like Home 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Coronation Street 21:00 Little England 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Doc Martin 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Granada News 23:35 Exposure 24:35 That Sunday Night Show

07:05 Sali Mali 07:10 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:50 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:05 Wake of the Red Witch 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Brave New World with Stephen Hawking 22:00 Attack of the Trip Advisors 23:00 Top Boy 24:10 The Simpsons 24:40 Pete Versus Life

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Elevator Girl 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Celebrity Wish List 21:00 The Gadget Show 22:00 Hotel Inspector 23:00 Big Brother 24:00 Big Brother’s Bit on the Side

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Case 16:00 BBC News 16:05 Junior Bake Off 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Hotel Trubble 17:30 Blue Peter 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Holby City 22:00 Death in Paradise 23:00 BBC News 23:35 Imagine... 24:35 The Private Lives of Pippa Lee

07:00 Childrens TV 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 New Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 James May’s Man Lab 22:00 The Most Courageous Raid of WWII 23:00 Later Live... with Jools Holland 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 Louis Theroux

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 There’s No Taste Like Home 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Mayday Mayday 21:00 High Stakes 22:00 71 Degrees North 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Granada News 23:35 In the Line of Fire 24:35 Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey

07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Channel 4 Presents 13:10 Country House Rescue 14:10 The Ghost and Mrs Muir 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Food Hospital 22:00 Jamie’s Great Britain 23:00 Top Boy 24:05 Random Acts 24:10 True Blood

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Family Recipe 16:20 Lone Rider 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Real Food Family Cook Off 21:00 Superior Interiors with Kelly Hoppen 22:00 CSI: Miami 23:00 Big Brother 24:00 Flatliners

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Nanny 911 08:20 Gossip Girl 09:10 Judge Judy 10:25 Real Housewives of New York City 11:30 Judge Judy 13:00 Emmerdale 13:30 Nanny 911 14:30 Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 Real Housewives of New York City 17:40 Loose Women 18:40 Judge Judy 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 21:00 Gossip Girl 22:00 Peter Andre: My Life

07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Case 16:00 BBC News 16:05 Junior Bake Off 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Roy 17:30 Serious Explorers 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 Waterloo Road 21:30 The Impressions Show with Culshaw and Stephenson 22:00 Frozen Planet 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News 23:35 National Lottery Wednesday Night Draws 23:45 Ask Rhod Gilbert 24:20 Film 2011 with Claudia Winkleman

07:00 Childrens TV 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Zingzillas 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:20 Louie 11:25 Baby Jake 11:40 Waybuloo 12:00 In the Night Garden 12:30 Daily Politics 14:00 See Hear 14:30 The Hairy Bakers 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Great British Food Revival 22:00 Secret Pakistan 23:00 Rab C Nesbitt 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 James May’s Man Lab

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 There’s No Taste Like Home 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Live UEFA Champions League 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Granada News 23:35 UEFA Champions League 24:35 Ladette to Lady: Australia

07:10 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:05 King Solomon’s Mines 16:05 Channel 4 Presents 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Kirstie’s Handmade Britain 22:00 Grand Designs 23:00 Top Boy 24:05 Steve Jobs: iChanged the World

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:10 Family Recipe 16:20 Aces ‘n’ Eights 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Highland Emergency 21:00 Dangerous Drivers’ School 22:00 Paul Merton’s Adventures 23:00 Big Brother 24:00 Banged Up Abroad

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Nanny 911 08:20 Gossip Girl 09:10 Judge Judy 10:25 Real Housewives of New York City 11:30 Judge Judy 13:00 Emmerdale 13:30 Nanny 911 14:30 Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 Real Housewives of New York City 17:40 Loose Women 18:40 Judge Judy 20:00 You’ve Been Framed! 20:30 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 21:00 Gossip Girl 22:00 Peter Andre: My Life 23:00 The Only Way Is Essex 23:45 Payback

tv Tuesday

tv Wednesday

07:00 Coronation Street 07:25 Coronation Street 07:50 Emmerdale 08:20 Gossip Girl 09:10 Judge Judy 10:25 Real Housewives of New York City 11:30 Judge Judy 13:00 Coronation Street 13:30 Coronation Street 14:00 Emmerdale 14:30 Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 Real Housewives of New York City 17:35 Loose Women 18:30 The Only Way Is Essex 20:00 The X Factor 21:00 Peter Andre: My Life 22:00 Vampire Diaries 23:00 Models, Misfits and Mayhem 24:00 Celebrity Juice

07:00 One Tree Hill 07:50 Greek 08:35 90210 09:25 One Tree Hill 10:25 Gilmore Girls 11:20 Ugly Betty 12:15 90210 13:10 Greek 14:05 Scrubs 15:05 Hollyoaks 15:35 Gilmore Girls 16:30 Desperate Housewives 17:30 Rules of Engagement 18:00 Scrubs 19:00 Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:35 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 Big Bang Theory 21:30 My Name Is Earl 22:00 One Tree Hill 23:00 Made in Chelsea 24:00 The Inbetweeners

10:00 Deal or No Deal 11:00 Chariots of Fire 13:20 3 Minute Wonder 13:30 3 Minute Wonder 13:35 Deal or No Deal 14:35 The Good Wife 15:35 Come Dine with Me 16:05 Coach Trip 16:35 Location, Location, Location 17:40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 18:45 Relocation, Relocation 19:50 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 20:55 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 22:00 The Hospital 23:00 Undercover Boss USA 24:00 Daily Show Global Edition

Watch New Season TV for Free with the RTN Network 966 463 170

07:00 One Tree Hill 07:50 Greek 08:35 90210 09:25 One Tree Hill 10:20 Gilmore Girls 11:15 Ugly Betty 12:10 90210 13:05 Greek 14:05 Scrubs 15:05 Hollyoaks 15:35 Gilmore Girls 16:35 Desperate Housewives 17:30 Rules of Engagement 18:00 Scrubs 18:30 Scrubs 19:00 Big Bang Theory 19:30 Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 Shipwrecked: The Island 22:00 Smallville 23:00 Tool Academy 24:00 Rude Tube

10:00 Deal or No Deal 11:00 How Clean Is Your House? 11:35 Carry On Nurse 13:20 3 Minute Wonder 13:30 3 Minute Wonder 13:35 Deal or No Deal 14:35 The Good Wife 15:35 Come Dine with Me 16:05 Coach Trip 16:35 Location, Location, Location 17:40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 18:45 Relocation, Relocation 19:50 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 20:55 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 22:00 Come Dine with Me 23:00 The Boy Mir: Ten Years in Afghanistan

Emergency Death in with Angela Griffin Paradise

Sky1 21.00 BBC1, 22.00

07:00 One Tree Hill 07:45 Greek 08:35 90210 09:30 One Tree Hill 10:20 Gilmore Girls 11:15 Ugly Betty 12:10 90210 13:10 Greek 14:05 Scrubs 14:35 Scrubs 15:05 Hollyoaks 15:40 Gilmore Girls 16:35 Desperate Housewives 17:30 Rules of Engagement 18:00 Scrubs 18:25 Scrubs 19:00 Big Bang Theory 19:30 Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:30 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 Fantastic Four 23:00 Rude Tube 24:00 Misfits

Emergency with Fantastic Four Angela Griffin E4, Sky1 21.00 21.00

10:00 Deal or No Deal 11:00 How Clean Is Your House? 11:35 Saddle the Wind 13:15 3 Minute Wonder 13:20 3 Minute Wonder 13:25 3 Minute Wonder 13:30 3 Minute Wonder 13:35 Deal or No Deal 14:35 The Good Wife 15:35 Come Dine with Me 16:05 Coach Trip 16:35 Location, Location, Location 17:40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 18:45 Relocation, Relocation 19:50 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 20:55 Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 22:00 Time Team 23:00 A Time Team Special 24:05 Camelot

tv Thursday 07:00 Breakfast 10:15 Helicopter Heroes 11:00 Homes Under the Hammer 11:58 BBC News 12:00 Filthy Rotten Scoundrels 12:45 Cash in the Attic 13:13 BBC News 13:15 Bargain Hunt 14:00 BBC News 14:30 Regional News 14:45 Doctors 15:15 The Case 16:00 BBC News 16:05 Junior Bake Off 16:35 Prank Patrol Down Under 17:00 Copycats 17:30 Sorry, I’ve Got No Head 18:00 Newsround 18:15 Pointless 19:00 BBC News 19:30 Regional News 20:00 The One Show 20:30 EastEnders 21:00 Britain on the Fiddle 22:00 Crimewatch 23:00 BBC News 23:25 Regional News 23:35 Crimewatch Update 23:45 Question Time 24:45 This Week

07:00 Childrens TV 10:15 Driver Dan’s Story Train 10:30 Charlie and Lola 10:45 Zingzillas 11:05 Big Barn Farm 11:25 Louie 11:30 Baby Jake 11:45 Waybuloo 12:05 In the Night Garden 12:35 New Pink Panther Show 13:00 Daily Politics 13:30 GMT with George Alagiah 14:00 Diagnosis Murder 14:45 Royal Upstairs Downstairs 15:15 The Weakest Link 16:00 Wanted Down Under 16:45 Escape to the Country 17:30 Flog It! 18:15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 19:00 Eggheads 19:30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two 20:00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 21:00 Great British Food Revival 22:00 Life in a Day 23:30 Newsnight 24:20 Burnistoun 24:50 Women!

28JulY OCT -2011 3 NOV 2011 8 - 14

07:00 Daybreak 09:30 Lorraine 10:25 Jeremy Kyle Show 11:30 This Morning 13:30 Loose Women 14:30 ITV News 14:55 Granada News 15:00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 16:00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show 16:59 Granada Weather 17:00 There’s No Taste Like Home 18:00 Best Dish: The Chefs 19:00 Granada Reports 19:30 ITV News 20:00 Emmerdale 20:30 Tonight 21:00 Emmerdale 21:30 Coronation Street 22:00 Joanna Lumley’s Greek Odyssey 23:00 ITV News at Ten 23:30 Granada News 23:35 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 24:35 71 Degrees North

Crossword Solutions 627 CRYPTIC SOLUTIONS Across: 3 Impassive; 8 Look; 9 Paralysed; 10 Warden; 11 Revel; 14 Agree; 15 Sift; 16 Ruffs; 18 Poop; 20 Wheel; 21 Manse; 24 Senior; 25 Foresight; 26 Veto; 27 Beats time. Down: 1 Blow-lamps; 2 Court-room; 4 Mean; 5 Aware; 6 Styles; 7 View; 9 Peter; 11 Rifle; 12 Life-lines; 13 Stillroom; 17 Sweet; 19 Patent; 22 Shift; 23 Moke; 24 Sham.

07:10 Channel 4 Presents 07:15 The Hoobs 07:35 The Hoobs 08:00 Freshly Squeezed 08:30 Everybody Loves Raymond 08:55 Everybody Loves Raymond 09:25 Frasier 09:55 Undercover Boss USA 10:55 Gok’s Clothes Roadshow: Get the Look for Less 11:55 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent 13:00 Channel 4 News 13:05 Country House Rescue 14:10 River Cottage Bites 14:15 Vice Versa 16:10 Countdown 17:00 Deal or No Deal 18:00 Four in a Bed 18:30 Come Dine with Me 19:00 The Simpsons 19:30 Hollyoaks 20:00 Channel 4 News 20:55 21:00 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare 22:00 Educating Essex 23:00 Top Boy 24:05 Random Acts 24:10 Secret Millionaire

07:00 Childrens TV 09:00 Fifi and the Flowertots 09:15 Peppa Pig 09:25 Peppa Pig 09:30 Roary the Racing Car 09:45 Bananas in Pyjamas 10:00 Ben and Holly’s Little Kingdom 10:15 The Wright Stuff 12:10 LIVE with Gabby 13:05 5 News Lunchtime 13:15 Big Brother 14:15 Home and Away 14:45 Neighbours 15:15 CSI: Miami 16:15 Class 18:00 5 News at 5 18:30 Neighbours 19:00 Home and Away 19:25 OK! TV 20:00 5 News at 7 20:30 Live UEFA Europa League Football 23:10 Big Brother 24:10 Big Brother’s Bit on the Side

QUICK SOLUTIONS Across: 3 Precision; 8 Real; 9 Overpower; 10 Meagre; 11 Deter; 14 Terse; 15 Name; 16 Ratio; 18 Void; 20 Clasp; 21 Teach; 24 Junior; 25 Indicator; 26 Just; 27 Statement. Down: 1 Primitive; 2 Maladroit; 4 Rove; 5 Curse; 6 Spoken; 7 Open; 9 Order; 11 Ditch; 12 Rapacious; 13 Temperate; 17 Occur; 19 Desist; 22 Charm; 23 Unit; 24 Join. Wordwheel: COMPLETED

07:00 Emmerdale 07:25 Nanny 911 08:20 Gossip Girl 09:10 Judge Judy 10:25 Real Housewives of New York City 11:30 Judge Judy 13:00 Emmerdale 13:30 Nanny 911 14:30 Jeremy Kyle Show 15:35 Jeremy Kyle Show 16:40 Real Housewives of New York City 17:40 Loose Women 18:40 Judge Judy 20:00 All Star Family Fortunes 21:00 The X Factor USA 23:00 Celebrity Juice 23:45 Batman Forever

07:00 One Tree Hill 07:45 Greek 08:35 90210 09:25 One Tree Hill 10:20 Gilmore Girls 11:20 Ugly Betty 12:15 90210 13:05 Greek 14:05 Scrubs 15:05 Hollyoaks 15:40 Gilmore Girls 16:35 Desperate Housewives 17:35 Rules of Engagement 18:00 Scrubs 19:00 Big Bang Theory 20:00 Hollyoaks 20:35 How I Met Your Mother 21:00 Big Bang Theory 21:30 Perfect Couples 22:00 How I Met Your Mother 22:30 Happy Endings 23:00 The Inbetweeners Top 10 Moments 23:35 Show and Tell 24:25 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night

Watch New Season TV for Free with the RTN Network 966 463 170

51 47

10:00 Deal or No Deal 11:00 How Clean Is Your House? 11:35 None but the Brave 13:35 Deal or No Deal 14:35 The Good Wife 15:35 Come Dine with Me 16:05 Coach Trip 16:35 Location, Location, Location 17:40 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 18:45 Relocation, Relocation 19:50 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 20:25 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 20:55 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 21:30 Celebrity Come Dine with Me Extra Portions 22:00 Southland 23:00 The Closer 24:00 The Killing 24:55 Southland

48 44

OCT -333NOV NOV 2011 2828OCTOCTNOV2011 2011 28

Poetry evening ILUSION-ARTE is pleased to announce that a poetry evening to commemorate one of Spain’s greatest modernist poets, Federico García Lorca, killed aged just 38 by Franco’s troops during the Spanish Civil War, is to be held at the Casa de Cultura, Saló Blau, Calpe, on Saturday 29th October at 9pm. The evening will include a mixture of poetry, singing, theatre, images and music and some poems will be read in Dutch and English. The young and promising Calpese guitarist Darío González will interpret Spanish guitar music: an opportunity to immerse in the Spanish culture and to enjoy the music of the language. The entrance is free for the members of IlusionArte. Non-members pay a small contribution of 5€. Ilusion-Arte encourages new members, who may look forward to an exciting programme of cultural treats, the first on 25th November, a piano recital by Rosa Blanco, and on 9th December there will be a cello recital by Georgina Sanchez and pianist Josu De Solaun. For more information please visit:

How to find a decent restaurant -

for me that is! SOUNDS A good title - if only it were that easy! It’s a bit like asking how to create the ‘perfect atmosphere’- if anyone had the answer they would be millionaires but I’ll give you some clues as to what we do to find our type of decent restaurant. Although it must be said, and in our experience, that what we enjoy, some, if not most, would not. Some negative remarks from customers we have sent to our local favourite restaurant have included: “There is no separate children’s menu,” “They don’t take credit cards,” “They don’t open before 8pm,” “They never ask how you want your meat cooked,” and “They don’t speak much English.” No linen table cloths and no Sommelier to check your wine either - oh well, we still love it. It’s the only place I know where food arrives and empty plates depart, without anyone stopping their flow of conversation. First you must decide what you are looking for and what matters most to you or your guests whether it be service, atmosphere, price, location or particular style of cooking. For us no matter where in the World we are it usually starts in the markets or with the back door of the restaurant where the delivery trucks park. It’s also where the empty food boxes are discarded or stored giving the first indication as to whether the restaurant

depends on fresh or frozen produce for its menu. If you are lucky enough you may find a member of the kitchen staff taking a break, most of whom are willing to chat without the fear normally associated with customer confrontation. Having travelled extensively and eaten in the oddest as well as the best eateries all over the World I can honestly say that I have never had a bad meal in a place where I have been into the kitchen first, whether I have been invited or not. One particular favourite is Dockside Dave’s in Florida, just a simple boathouse where Dave lands his own line-caught fish grouper and then - still in his wellies - fillets and cooks them on a flatiron grill with maybe just a touch of Cajun spice slapped between a freshly baked roll and then served, albeit a bit reluctantly, with a dollop of coleslaw: it was just about the best food I have ever tasted; that was until production was temporally halted when the shack blew down in a storm. Again having found a cheap waterside dwelling in the most unlikely place we were amazed to find ‘The Crab Shack’: it was indeed a rickety shack and the food simply was Dungeness Crab, loads of it, in a metal bowl still in the shell with the sauce or butter of your choice sloshed all over it. We made a mess and drank too much beer whilst listening to

some jazz three nights in a row. Whilst in Penang we were advised to avoid the street market food so, of course, that’s where we immediately headed. It was amazing and that was just the smell, from little fritters made with live shrimps, gram flour, fresh fiery chillies, fresh cut sweet corn nibs, coconut milk and than deep fried while you waited, were a delight. Then a Laksa, a traditional and well known soup made with the addition of ginger flower which has the taste something like a Parma violet sweet. Having attended a riotous local Chef Run cooking course, I asked the chef why his Laksa tasted nothing like the street market one. Taking me aside and into his confidence and into his kitchen he produced a couple of fresh ginger flowers from his own private stock with instructions on what to do with them: we smuggled them home. Needless to say with the most enjoyable lengths we go to in our search for information as well as a plate of decent grub it goes without saying that we do usually get better meals than you will, albeit in the same restaurant. So my top tip is to make a bit more effort and then try my favourite restaurant which is ….No! No! No! Not a chance, not in a month of Sundays.

Edwin Cheeseman is a practical food consultant. If you have a question about food email

Strictly Sober Robbie

Showbiz Goss by EX FOOTBALLER Robbie Savage truly has entered the world of showbiz

now that he is a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing, but he has already Writer and Broadcaster made a huge impact as both a TV pundit and blogger on the BBC Sport web pages. His partner on Strictly is Ola Jordan and the two of them went to a Reading v Derby football match a week or so back and danced on boards in the middle of the pitch at half time, and the big surprise was that Robbie was ok with it and Ola was as nervous as a kitten. “Dancing in front of 20,000 fans was fine” said Robbie “it’s my comfort zone, as soon as I cross that white line I´m good … even dancing.” It’s his honesty that makes Robbie so ‘more-ish’, an example of which being when he said “on a Saturday night on Strictly my legs are physically trembling and I feel sick the whole day.” Then a real gem from him when he added: “it’s like going into to the best nightclub in the world at 6 o’clock, walking into the middle of a dance floor and dancing sober … I’ve never danced sober in my life!” Just an average footballer was Robbie, but has he found his mark or what.

Peter Taylor

3 NOV Feb28 26OCT- March 4 2011 2010

53 49

We don’t do frolicking! And so the Reality Show bandwagon just keeps on rolling with Peter Andre: My Life next off the production line. “I was planning to include steamy footage of hot tub party scenes” said Peter to Now Magazine “but viewers don’t want to see me frolicking in my swim shorts so I´ve shelved it … I´m too old.” Yes, sadly you are too old Peter, when you are in your mid 20s you’re too old mate! … and yes we don’t want to see you frolicking in swim shorts, or frolicking in anything else come to that, and don’t just drop the hot tub scenes, bin the whole goddamn thing! … Unfortunately, Peter’s singing career took a nosedive when he started to believe his own publicity and became a bit of a joke in the music world, but he can hold a good tune and maybe could tap into his Australian upbringing and release a duet of ‘Tie me Kangaroo Down Sport’ with Rolfie.

Dr Crane rides again

If you were a fan of the US TV show ‘Fraser’ as I was you might be interested to know about Kelsey Grammar’s new venture back into the manic world of television comedy. Kelsey played the part of Dr Fraser Crane with great skill and prised a lot of top humour out of the world of psychiatry and badly managed personal relationships. His new show is to be called ‘Boss’ and Kelsey

said: “It’s a story of betrayals, intrigue and violence around a man who’s about to lose his kingdom.” … em … okay … added to this rather odd piece of information is that the opening scene of the new show features a lengthy shot of Grammars’ character listening intently as a doctor informs him he has a degenerative brain disorder … sounds like a bag of laughs does that …

Oh my double God! I´ve become a bit of a Bieber basher lately as it’s all too sugary for me with him being so cute, but it’s the teen market he´s aimed at and not me, and you would think Adele would also fit into that box. Not so! “I met him and he was so sweet,” she told The Sun “…if I were 14 or 15 I think I’d be well on it! … I’d get on it!” OMG! And I thought she was so cool as well. Then it got worse … a lot worse. Adele then sorrowfully admitted “my 10-year-old niece fancies him and I don’t really want to fancy the same person she does “OM Double G! …and finally, the sombre style songstress aimed her pistol at the other foot when she said “ it’s probably illegal to fancy him anyway … but he´s taking over the world “ … oh dear oh double dear!

Book Review by

Danny Collins

Beginning Spanish

OVER THE years I must have introduced scores of Spanish language books through my reviews. Spanish language books are popular, as well they should be. We live here after all and the grimace beneath the smile of our Spanish neighbours when we mangle their language could be assuaged if we tried just that bit harder. The Spanish, remember, use subjunctives when we generally wouldn’t know one if it bit us from behind. And subjunctives aren’t that difficult to use. Spanish is a melodic language and it pays to get the tenses right. This book from McGraw Hill is called Beginning Spanish but the fact is all such books are revision. Fluent or intermediate speakers of Spanish as a second language benefit equally by going over texts dedicated to beginners and this book is no different in that respect. It deals with all the nuances of Spanish grammar and struck me as a course in itself. Get to page 244 absorbing the details of each section and that grimace of which I wrote earlier would be nonexistent. The book also comes with a disk to check your pronunciation –‘repeat after me’ - but you might do well to bear in mind that US produced disks favour Latin American Spanish so you might end

Suduko Answer up speaking like Speedy González. But, other than the accent, from my time in South America the only grammatical difference I remember is the use of ‘vosotros’ and ‘vosotras’ in place of the Castillian ‘tú’ – plus a few rude words that have a perfectly genteel meaning in Spanish but you won’t find those on this disk so you can relax. Altogether I found Beginning Spanish fun to work with and an entirely useful aide mémoire to boot. Authors: Ronni L. Gordon Ph.D. & David M. Stillman Ph.D. Publisher: McGraw Hill (paperback) Price: 18.90€ ISBN: 978 0 07 163865 4



28 OCT- 3 NOV 2011

Politics and all that c--p PEOPLE WHO know me personally know that I am very much against the modern trend of people using by foul language. When I was young and had I used it in public I would have earned a strong rebuke and a Brian clipped ear from even a stranger so if anyone is offended, I apologise for the above caption. Deller But there are other self-inflicted harms that we that are not compatible with the general good for big doubts on the man-made global warming that

Author of Motoring in Spain

humans inflict upon ourselves and I refer specifically here to elected politicians who though lack of perception and intelligence go on to mess up our lives as they have done in recent years, specifically political correctness and the financial destruction of Europe. Good example, “I have voted Labour all my life as my father did, so right or wrong I will continue to do so. Reading the BNPO website, even that political party has to be better. As far as the UK is concerned it would appear that there are still voters who would vote for a Labour government again after their last disastrous spell in power leaving Britain with a crisis unmatched since the 1929 crash. But on the motoring front all is not bad, as there is now a move in Britain to raise the maximum speed limit of motorways to 80mph (129 kph), with the justifications being that modern vehicles are safer at speed and contrary to the Spanish view where reduced fuel consumption means less oil imports thus saving the country billions each year, in Britain the argument is that the reduced journey times will save the country millions. I suppose it depends on who is advising the politicians, many of whom may have ulterior motives

the masses. Having spent the first two decades of my riding life on motorcycles/cars etc and using relatively empty roads with NO maximum speed limits outside of builtup areas, I know the ‘golden days’ are now over, but currently as my wife and I travel to exotic places (clean beaches and small pueblos as part of our retirement plan) to justify a reason to get up each day, I question the logic as the UK police are reported as admitting that they do not stop anyone in Britain up to 80mph on motorways already, unless they are driving dangerously. Here of course we have zero tolerance, where the motoring laws say that 1kph over the posted limit you can be fined. But as our speedos have a tendency to over-reading and I have tested all my cars in recent years, as long as you stick to the speedo reading you should be okay. Our Focus at 120kph on the clock is actually doing a timed speed of 114kph. At 110kph, 94kph is correct. But the immediate future looks as though we are all going to be coerced into buying cars with about 50 to 80kg of batteries in them to reduce CO2 emissions even though the scientific community is now casting

has caused us to be subjected to many more taxes in recent years. Hence my often written principle ‘Trust nobody’. Especially in the last 20 years people have been subjected to propaganda by those that wish to control the masses as suggested by Karl Marx and his ilk. But we all know what happened to the Soviet Union: it just did not work. So as my wife and I are about to buy a new car, again a Ford Focus, we have selected the one we want for driving pleasure, a 2-litre automatic. Anyone looking for a 1.8L 115bhp Ford Focus diesel, to Titanium (top) specification? Just had its 70,000 service at the Ford agency and is in excellent condition, colour red. I am arranging to meet the local Trafico Director about the ridiculous medical periods that expats are being given by the reconcimientoes. So far with a UK licence, the general period allowed is three months only: I will report back as soon as I have had the meeting. But, as I am finding, it is so difficult to get an appointment and letters just go unanswered. More anon… keep safe out there as the rains approach. Check those tyres for enough tread and correct pressures.

There is much more detailed information on all motoring subjects in my book. Brian Juan (John) Deller, Malaga, author, ‘Motoring in Spain’ Tel: 666 888 870 Brian Deller, author, book Motoring in Spain, ISBN No 978 84 611 9278 6. Shops’ addresses in my web site at:

28 OCTNOV 2011 28 OCT3 NOV3 2011



Tel.: 965 368 274


Cars S.L.

We Buy, Sell & Part Exchange Quality British & Spanish Cars Transfer Documents Completed Competitive Insurance Quotes. All cars Fully serviced and valeted



BMW 320 I SE 2001 4 DOOR


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OPEL ASTRA ESTATE 1999 1.7 Ltr Diesel







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€11,995 21000 Klm

Kia Sportage Nov 2007

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Kia Carens 2004 2 Ltr Diesel Low Klm FSH


JOINT J148 2006 3 BERTH, ONE OWNER - 45000 KLM



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Opening hours Mon - Fri 9-6pm (No siesta) Sat 10-1pm. Find us next to Petrol Station TORREMENDO 10 Minutes inland from San Miguel, Los Montesinos & Junction 751 on the AP7 towards Orihuela. Torremendo turning on CV95 towards San Miguel

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28 OCT- 3 NOV 2011

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Removals with the personal touch. Full/part loads. Parcels, flat packs, luggage, door to door service, Storage available, pets transported

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14 - 20 OCT 2011

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• Professional pool maintenance & cleaning • Replacement pumps, filters, salt systems Ph regulators and accessories supplied and installed • Pipe leaks pressure tested, detected and repaired • Structural leaks investigated and repaired • Refurbishments & upgrades undertaken British Trained with over 15 years experience. Extensive references. All work guaranteed Tel: 96 677 4199 or 678 080 500 Torrevieja and surrounding areas plus Costa Calida

28 OCT- 3 NOV 2011 GATA CHARITY SHOP Description: House Clearances, furniture, bric a brac, beds, etc. High prices paid for quality items. We buy, Sell and Exchange just about anything at the GATA CHARITY SHOP in aid of SPAIN, the Society for the Protection of Animals in Need. Collection and Delivery service available. Tel 665653998 or 965756215.

ALICANTE GOLF Three months subscription 1st November to 31st Jan 2012. Offers. 966790993

EXCEL AIR CONDITIONING. See main ad on page 11.Tel/Fax (Head Office) 966-897-772. Mobiles:-680-154-432/676-265675. Email excelairconditioning@ All credit/debit cards accepted. SERVICE AIR David Higton: (Tel) 966-865-883 (Mob) 629308-505 (Email)

ELSA - GERMAN SHEPHERD beautiful, loving, good with all other dogs, cats and children. Free to Good Home. Telephone. Margaret - 685 615 348. HOUSE AND PET SITTING Call Margaret experienced multi lingual telephone 968 186 781 Mobile 659 824 156 PET TRANSPORT we treat your pet as if they belong to us and that is our promise. van fully air conditioned we believe we have the best rates so give joe a call on 966074576 or 650341087 for a chat or e mail SMALL DOGS CARED FOR IN OUR OWN HOME So if you need to go away on holiday but don’t want your dog to go into kennels then we will look after them. References available. Tel: 965843781 Mob: 622514980 TRANS-PET We do regular, door-to-door journeys between the Costa Blanca and the UK.Our aim is to provide a professional, caring service for your pets.Boarding facilities for Cats and Dogs. This may be for an overnight stay or of longer durations.Tel:600-552-030/965960-658

achievable with us – and there’s a money back guarantee. Telephone 965 322 863 COLD DRINK / SNACK VENDING MACHINES EXCELLENT RECESSION PROOF BUSINESS WITH NO OVERHEADS AND ALL CASH. 5 COLDDRINK VENDING MACHINES €24,900. 25 PRINGLE MACHINES €14,900, ALL WITH GUARANTEED SITES. 619307318. 10 COLD DRINK/SNACK VENDING MACHINES with sites,€44,900.excellent cash income, no overhead, work from home, work only one day per week, €31,000 nett yearly. 25 pringle vending machines with sites €14,900.€250 per week guaranteed.965-326-442/ 659-696-455 SOLAR ENERGY BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY Long established company, own product range. First class training & support. Telephone 606586587

LONG TERM CAR HIRE FROM 300€ per MONTH. FOCUS/ SCENIC 450€ per MONTH. 7 seat KIA 250€ per WEEK CHEAP & EASY 965732851/ 696016718

SPECIAL CHRISTMAS OFFER Driving to or from the UK? English guest house in France. Bed, Breakfast and Evening Meal for 2, only 50 euros! or 0033 562331962


ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS - COSTA BLANCA Confidential Helpline, South 625 912 078, North 648 169 045. DO YOU SUFFER THROUGH ANOTHER PERSON DRINKING? Don’t suffer alone. We meet in Benidorm every Thursday at 5.00pm. AlAnon Established Worldwide for 60 years. Ring 634758539 for details.

AMBITIOUS? Life changing opportunity with a money back guarantee. For details telephone 965 322 863 A 6 FIGURE INCOME is imminently


MOBILE/PARK HOMES from 17.000€, Fully furnished ready to move into, A/C, Tel, Eng TV, on permanent site, Bar/Res, Pool, Tennis, Gym, Shop, walking distance to San Javier, 5 mins to beach, Airport, Hospital by car. (also bungalows for rent and caravan plots short term or permanent stays) Tlf Carol 968192-425 mob 626-055-622 www. mobilehomesmarmenorspain. com

PC SOLUTIONS 4U For all your PC needs. Reliable & friendly service. Call Fred 634638664 BYTEBACK MICROS computer repairs/upgrades in your home. Qualified technician. Systems custom built. Whatever your problem call: 965-312-006 or 606-127-424

FUNKY FREESTYLE DANCE with Louise, every Saturday morning at Villamar Campsite in Albir/Benidorm, come and learn all the moves and routines to your pop idols! Call Louise on 655-781-068 for more information!

SALES CONSULTANT REQUIRED for the JCC office in Los Alcazares. Proven sales record required, with the ability to reach targets. Car driver essential. CV please to debs@ SPARE TIME, WANT EXTRA CASH? Start earning immediately by becoming an AVON representative. Info: ring Rosh 966785520 CARERS WANTED To work in England 3 weeks on 3 weeks off email CV to 24hourhomecareservices@


28 OCT- 3 NOV 2011

TURN YOUR UN WANTED FURNITURE Electrical, Household Goods and Bric-a-brac into Cash. Anything! Anywhere! 965-319220/618-165-877

24 HOUR HOMECARE SERVICES LTD Wanted companions, carers to work in England as live-in carers. 3 weeks on, 3 weeks off. If you are caring, a good listener and cook contact Karen Jones on (0044) 01929 472 810 or mobile (0044) 07500 836688 email: 24hourhomecareservices@ or download application form from www.24ho TELESALES OFFICE IN ALBIR OPENING A NIGHT SHIFT 25 to 30 hrs per week, Basic, commission, contract and training offered. We are looking for reliable staff, willing to work hard in exchange for great commissions.We need..... * A sales manager * 2 Closers * 15 telesales staff * 2 Administration staff. This is a great opportunity to get in while the company is young, with offices throughout Spain, Tenerife, Malaga and Barcelona the world is at your fingertips! Call Kris now on 697551459 ADULT INTERNET PHOTO AND VIDEO Females and couples, 18-65, required as models. Excellent rates. Tlf:-697-697-842

ALEXANDERS PAY TOP LONDON PRICES Javea Port seafront – Monday to Saturday - 10am till 3pm. Established since 2003 Tel: 965792595 or 667270969

TEETH WHITENING Professional Cosmetic Treatments or DIY Whitening Kits from 29€. Javea, Denia, Benidorm, Calpe area. Tel. 966 473 166 - Mob. 680 501 404.

AT MICHAEL’S Compare our unbeatable quality and prices on beds. We can supply any size NEW bed you want. Ouick delivery from our big bed-warehouse. Call our New Bedshop: 96-579 2647 www. AT MICHAEL’S Two very high quality white leather sofas, 3-seater + 2-seater. Several outdoor wicker suites just come in. See more than 600 photos on: AT MICHAEL’S Original very heavy “cart-wheel” bench + Moroccan furniture, beautifully carved large black coffee table, and lots more. See them all on: AT MICHAEL’S you can get part exchange on certain beds when you buy a New bed from our New Bed shop in the Arenal. See photos (updates every 5-6 days): MICHAEL’S 28 YEARS IN JAVEA ENSURES YOUR SATISFACTION! We sell high quality pre owned furniture, many from show apartments etc. Look at: www.michaels-javea. com Tlf:965-791-328.

GOLD WANTED English Jeweller wishes to buy broken or unwanted Gold jewellery & coins for cash. Call for an appointment. Peter (7 days) 664 890 990.

CALL PAUL garden, palm and pool maintanence, community pools and gardens accepted, Denia to Xeraco and inland call 678 308 107

PET INSURANCE Protectapet: Looking for Pet Insurance? Spains Leading Pet Insurance Provider. 965 756 724 S.O.S. INSURANCE Car-HomeHealth-Comercial. Funeral Plans and Insurance. Tlf:-966-787123/622-275-561/686-116-297

CALPE EVERYTHING FOR THE small builder from hoists, scaffold, mixer, joiners plant and much more Tel 627-278-018 PERGOLA 5MX3M Never erected. High quality solid timber, Treated. Ideal for Garden or Carport. €385 Will Delivery Free. 622-791-907 or

WEIGHT WATCHERS Call our Free English call centre now to find your nearest meeting. 900-818-794

BALLROOM/LATIN/ SEQUENCE DANCING WITH LA BAMBA’S. At La Rustika [Los Arcos] Restaurant, Avenida Balaeres 34, Torrevieja. Saturday - Social Dance 7.30pm - 10pm Starting 5th September - Monday - New Beginners Class - 10am - 11.30am Monday - Intermediate Class - 11.30am - 1pm Tuesday Popular Sequence class 7.30pm - 8.30pm followed by Social Dance 8.30pm - 10.30pm [not 2nd Tuesday of month]. At Casa Ventura, San Luis, Torrevieja Starting 8th September Thursday - Beginners class 7.30pm - 9.30pm. Got more information contact Andrea 616 478 157.

YAMAHA MARINE JET FOR SALE Yamaha marine jet 650T on trailer SSR registered rides well 850€, dishwasher for sale 70€ 672 956 329 or 966 733 288 FOR SALE 300 books good condition mostly crime novels €100 ono MR FIXIT: FOR ALL YOUR ELECTRICAL, plumbing, general also appliance repairs. 698 320 434 POOL, SNOOKER TABLES Also Table Tennis and Darts. Will beat any price!. Tlf:-666-933726.

door,champagne. Spanish LHD, Electric windows, stereo. 1495€ 965 368 274 FIAT PUNTO 1.2 5 DOOR, 2004 , 74,000kms, fully serviced, silver, €3250. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 NISSAN MICRA CABRIOLET 1.4, 90 bhp, 2006, 2 owners, 84,000kms, solid panoramic power roof, alloys, aircon, bluetooth, finished in metallic burnt orange, stunning car. €7750. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 OPEL ZEFIRA DIESEL, MPV 7 SEATER, Elegance model, 1 owner, 55,000kms, FSH, Air con, alloys, High Spec model. 6750€. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976 RENAULT KANGOO VAN 1.9 DIESEL, RHD. 2000. Mot’ed till March 2012. Taxed December 2011. White. Only 995€. Tel Frank 600726221/965687976


CAR PARTS need a part for any car? For a FREE quote go to or phone 692930326

OPEL ASTRA ESTATE, 1999 , 1.7 Ltr Turbo Diesel, Spanish LHD, White, air con, electric windows, CD/MP3 player, rear tinted windows, good overall condition. 3995€ 965 368 274 FORD FOCUS ESTATE, 2003, 1.6 Ltr petrol ,silver. Spanish LHD. CD player, air conditioning and electric windows. 4995€ www. 965 368 274 HYMER 650CL A CLASS MOTORHOME, 1986, LHD, Beige, 3 Ltr Mercedes engine, 6 berth, independent Honda generator, 2 fixed double beds, fridge, gas hob, shower room ,Thetford cassette toilet, scooter rack and air conditioning. 9995€ 965 368 274 APRILIA SR50, 2006, 50cc Scooter, Red, one owner, pristine condition, totally original, 1495€ 965 368 274 FORD FIESTA, 2005 1.4 Ltr TDCi Diesel Spanish LHD, Mid Blue Metallic. 5 door hatchback, air conditioning, CD player and electric windows in excellent condition throughout. 5995€ 965 368 274 FIAT BRAVA,1996 1.4 Ltr SX 5

28 OCT- 3 NOV 2011

WE CAN IMPORT all of your KIT CARS and also RHD Vans and Trucks. Call Marcelo; 609-600-993 WANTED Scrap cars, vans, lorries, plant and caravans. Turn your scrap into cash. From Valencia to Alicante. Free collection. Tel: 689-929-395 WANTED I buy any car, van,Caravan,4x4 Etc.British, Spanish. Immediate cash 600-781-873

Dressers, Females Dominatrix and Submissive. Couples including Same Sex Couples. “Anything Goes” Can sometimes accomodate. Home Visits no extra Charge/Low Fees. Call me now on 655-058-554 ALANI : FROM HAWAII sensual attractive warm friendly LADY will pamper you with satisfying erotic massage and more. very discrete apartment visit me or i visit you. call 603 352 507 ELEGANT SEXY SLIM Lady escort available. Home, Hotel, Villa. Region Calpe to Torrevieja. La Manga. Mazzaron. Tel 693 357 526 TORREVIEJA CHINESE SUPER SEXY Young and beautiful. Calle Orihuela Nº60, 2º1

BLUES MAN CHARLIE Wants to play in your bar 691 622 804

VILLA PAINTING AND MAINTENANCE A high quality service for exterior and interior painting and grounds maintenance including garden and pool care. 616 748 667.

Mario, Qualified Masseur in Alicante, Relaxing Massage for Men, based at ten minutes from Airport, low rates, all days available. Appointments 649 761 607 GAY, BI OR CURIOUS. H20 SAUNA.COM Safe, Discreet, Clean, Benidorm Old Town. 966 805 091. GENERIC VIAGRA the safe little blue pill. Tlf Tony 638352129, Rojales Area. GENERIC VIAGRA safe and effective blue pill. Guaranteed happy ending. Call Ron, TT Marketing, 966499204 SPANISH LADY PLAYA FLAMENCA near new Carrefour before La Florida. 35 years, attractive, classy lady, private house, parking. Offers all erotic services, massage, sexy lingerie, economical prices from 40€. Full discretion. Call Ana 680-735-412 FELLAS! Do you have a problem getting up in the morning, or at any other time? If so you need THE DIAMOND SHAPED BLUE PILL, Quesada and surrounding area. ring Derek 685-207-378 ARE YOU MALE, FEMALE OR A COUPLE? Need some Sexy FUN? Contact me soonest. 63 year old Dom/Sub switch. Available for fun with Males, Dom and Sub and Cross

POOL LEAK REPAIR SPECIALIST’S Pipe leaks pressure tested, detected and repaired. Structural leaks investigated and repaired. Professional, consciencious service to the highest standards. Refurbishments and upgrades undertaken. Replacement pumps, filters, salt systems, ph regulators and accessories supplied and installed. All work guaranteed. British trained in the UK pool industry with over 15 years experience. 8 years served on the Costa Blanca. Torrevieja and surrounding areas including Costa Calida. Tlf:- Pristine Pools on 966-774-199 or 678-080-500 SWIMMING POOL MAINTENANCE AND CLEANING SERVICE BY POOLTECHSPAIN. We are a fully legal, qualified and registered business who have been operating on the Costa Blanca for 6 years. We offer a professional, reliable, safe and efficient pool service, inc. re-grouting, pressure testing and leak repairs. Private and community swimming pools undertaken. Call now for more information on 965-725-565 or mobile 676-945-360/ 620-743048


MOBILE/PARK HOMES on Camping Pueblo in San Javier from 15.000€ Tlf Carol 968-192425 mob 626-055-622 www. mobilehomesmarmenorspain. com

GREAT VALUE IN JACARILLA large 3 bedroom apartment, fantastic views, 20 minutes from the beach and golf courses in the lovely Spanish village of Jacarrila. Price €325.00 per month. Please call Michael UK 00447831123631 NEAR CATRAL 3 BED COUNTRY VILLA Alarms Garage Pool Panoramic mountain views €775 per month plus €172 for electricty water english tv internet and phone line inclusive. Tel: 966 28 55 44 JAVEA Long let for family holidays - 5 Bed/4Bath luxury spacious apartment on 3 levels, air con hot & cold, garage parking and trastero furnished to a high standard, close to the beach and all amenities available for a year round rental for family holidays. Cheaper to rent year round than short periods, for more info. call 607655879 SNR DE RODA GOLF LOS ALCAZARES Homley luxury modern furnished 2 bed apartment. TV A/C pool, Internet available. 365€ + bills. Tel: 648013-068 (250€ bonus rebate at the end of the contract long term only) 1 BED PART FURNISHED bungalows on Camping Pueblo in San Javier with lots of ameneties Tlf Carol 968-192-425 mobile 626-055-622

MICK WITH HIS VAN Removals Collections Deliveries. For a reliable effective service. Hourly rate or quote. Call Mick anytime 600-247-535 VAN LEAVING FOR THE UK/SPAIN EVERY 2 WEEKS great rates please contact joe on 966074576 or 650341087 or MAN & LWB SPRINTER VAN going to UK- Spain twice a month. Tel: 610-846-260 or 0044-7519-186-355 email:-van. SPAIN 2 UK 2 SPAIN MAN AND VAN departing Costa Blanca for UK for UK 1st Nov returning 6th Nov space available both ways exc rates Tel Christine 96 55 71 837 - 638 261 341 email:

QUALIFIED TRANSLATOR Bi-lingual Spanish-English and high level French and German. Confidential and reliable accompaniment service. Competitive rates. Torrevieja and surroundings. Virginia 629201192. INTERPRETER English interpreter provides aid and assistance for visits to hospitals/ schools/tax offices/police stations etc. Friendly and reliable, available in Benidorm and surrounding areas. Call 600 809 698

BRITISH GRADUATE TEACHER offers Primary/ Secondary English Mathmatics. Telephone Margaret Johnson B.Ed. 965-350-516 Mob: 616660-687 COMPUTER TUTOR Software training, ebusiness education, website publishing, photography, videography and more DIY tips and tricks for all of your

remotes, LNBs, Realignments. 1.9m Dish Wanted. Good prices, advice and backup, Phone 966194013 or 600899096. SKYSUPPLIES Sky+HD and Humax 320/500/1000GB Digiboxs. Whitecards,spare remotes, LNBs, Realignments. 1.9m Dish Wanted. Good prices, advice and backup, Phone 966194013 or 600899096.

business and personal needs. Karla Darocas - certified instructor since 1990. Tel: 96 597 3234 info@KarlaDarocas. com Referrences - www.

SKYSUPPLIES Sky+HD and Humax 320/500/1000GB Digiboxs. Whitecards,spare

CRYSTAL CLEAR SATELLITE AND INTERNET TV for all your digital and TV requirements. No Annual Fees on Sky Cards. Steve:-660-186-505/Ros:-965584-097. info@

SINGER WANTED Wanted singer to join a general covers band playing 60/s 70/s 80/s music, must be enthusiastic, only good singers need apply 661 350 963 ADULT TEENS AND CHILDRENS BIKES Any condition Telephone Andy on 966790080 or 689112080 TURN YOUR UNWANTED FURNITURE Electrical, Household Goods and Brica-brac into Cash. Anything! Anywhere! 965-319-220/ 618-165-877

Classified Services 56

28 OCT- 3 NOV 2011

Airport Parking

Car Hire


Car Tyres

Air Conditioning

House Clearances

Builders Double Glazing

Boiler Repairs Electrician

Health & Beauty

Buyers Surveys

This one module box will cost you 10.00â‚Ź

(+ IVA)

per week.....

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? RTN Classifieds: 902 118 999

28 OCT- 3 NOV 2011 Maintenance Repairs

Solar Energy


Properties Wanted


Secure Storage Removals

Spanish Number Plates

TV & Satellite



28 OCT- 3 NOV 2011

Andy Kay With Andy Kay

The Final Whistle

RTN Golf Club update

Haka nonsense Dennis Jordan NORTH REGION

What do you make of the New Zealand Haka? Personally I’m a bit bored by the whole thing. Many people seem to think that the Haka is special and that in many ways, it defines New Zealand rugby. That may be so, but when you’ve seen it performed seven times in a few weeks, for me, it loses its lustre. However, France were determined to get a close look at the traditional Maori challenge so, before the rugby world cup final, they linked arms and marched to within a few metres of the All Black players. The result, a fine of $4900 from the sports governing body. So, as far as the IRB is concerned, it’s perfectly acceptable for a NZ player to challenge his opposite number by running his thumb across his neck or by miming other acts of pretty awful violence but it’s unacceptable for the team that its being challenged to stand ‘a bit too close’. I’ve always thought it gives teams like NZ, Samoa and Tonga a bit of an extra edge to perform these ancestral war cries before a game and now, it would seem, that the IRB have come over all ‘Len Goodman’ and is determined to let them have their dance time unopposed. If I was the captain of the next team New Zealand plays, I’d gather my players under my own goal posts, form a circle and take no interest in the Haka whatsoever. It is, after all, a challenge and there’s nothing in the laws of the game that saw you have to accept it. Sport leaves London I was incredibly proud to work for BBC Radio Sport both at Broadcasting House and at Television Centre in the 1980’s and 90’s. I made some lifelong friends, covered some superb events and, most importantly of all, along with my colleagues, provided the UK with some pretty decent sports coverage on Radio 5 Live. Now though, both the Radio and TV Sport departments are leaving London and are being relocated to Manchester. I’m sure the BBC has its reasons, though moving the entire sports department out of London less than a year before the capital hosts the biggest sporting event in the world seems a bit strange. How much, I wonder, will the license fee payer shell out for travel and accommodation for hundreds of its staff to return to London for weeks on end while they prepare for and then cover the Olympics? That said, I sincerely hope that the staff that are moving to Media City in Salford enjoy their new home and continue to produce the kind of high quality programming for which they are renowned. The cost of QPR v Chelsea As a QPR fan, I was of course delighted to see the Super Hoops beat Chelsea in the West London derby last Sunday. But at what cost? Two red cards, plenty of bookings, some ugly scenes in the tunnel and the John Terry race row. However, the real cost was watching the game at a sport bar in Doha, Qatar and paying €10 a pint. Ouch!


WELL THE weather certainly stopped play on some courses Golf Course RTN Price Comments last week but as usual here on the Costa Blanca it soon cleared €45 Single Green fee (Buggy 12€) Alenda up and got back to normal. €52 Single Green fee inc Buggy We will have some Christmas holidays offers on at the courses Alicante Golf as it is a quiet period but I have to say a great time to play with Bonalba €41 Single Green fee (Buggy 10€) ease and no queues on the tees: the offers will be printed in Don Cayo €44 Single Green fee (Buggy 14€) the RTN on this Golf page, so keep a look out. El Plantio €46 Single Green fee (Buggy 12€) Prices you see here on the right are the prices you pay: they Font del Llop €40 Single Green fee (Buggy 10€) are not a ‘from price’ as we update them on a weekly basis. Villaitana Par 62 €38 Single Green fee inc Buggy Some companies put the low season price in a high season €44 Single Green fee (Buggy 15€) month, which of course is misleading and confusing, so if you Villa Aitana Par 72 see a very low price for green fees in a high season month, the For more information email Dennis at chance is that it’s a low season price! or direct to Don’t forget to change your clocks on Saturday! on 630 714 373.

THERE IS always much discussion and comment about the quality of the courses in our area when compared with the Costa Del Sol, Portugal and Turkey but now we have one very good response to any such questions because Las Colinas has been selected as the venue for the European Tour Q-School qualifying. This event will start on 29th November and will include many well-known and excellent golfers: I will provide more information when known. All of the courses are busy at the moment and trying to make last minute bookings for some of the special offers available is becoming troublesome so the message is to book early to avoid disappointment. The best autumn deals are still at Altorreal and Vistabella where you can play at competitive rates and taking a drive to La Serena and La Peraleja will result in some of the lowest high season prices available.


Murcia Golf Hound Murcia Region

We have been concerned at the amount of spike marks on the greens lately, especially at La Manga, where the greens have been soft through the summer and are taking a little while to come back. It brings to mind whether spikes or any type of aggressive cleat is needed in our region. Ecco, True Linkswear and now Nike, Adidas and Footjoy are all releasing next generation spikeless shoes in 2012. This implies that they don’t think that people slip without spikes – why would you if your swing is in balance? The big advantage will be less damage around the hole, which would help when left with those tricky 3 footers.

Golf Course

RTN Price




2 PL and 1 Buggy (weekend pm)



2 PL and 1 Buggy ((Mon& Fri)

Las Colinas


2 PL and Buggy (from3pm)

La Peraleja


4 PL and 2 Buggy

La Finca


4 PL and 2 Buggy

La Tercia


2 PL and 1 Buggy

Las Ramblas


4 PL and 2 Buggy



2 PL and 1 Buggy (from 2pm)

For more information contact Mike at or direct at Costa Blanca Green Fee Services on 966 704 752 or 661 345 931.

Golf Course

RTN Price




Single Green fee

Cortijo Grande


Single Green fee



Single Green fee

Desert Springs


Single Green fee

Valle del Este


Single Green fee

La Manga Club


Single Green fee

For more information contact the Hound on Facebook, twitter: or 96 817 5716

Simply the best Noel’s world of golf By Noel Eastwell Teaching Professional Campo de Golf El Plantio 639 730 891

LUKE DONALD is in my opinion one of the most underrated sportsmen in the World. This year, Luke has won twice in America and topped their money list in style. Barring something so spectacular it will not happen he will also win The Race to Dubai in Europe. Handicap golfers who wish to improve and play at a good level can learn an awful lot from just one round of golf that Luke has played this season. Last Sunday’s final round in Orlando, surely one of the best rounds of golf played by a British golfer for many years? The score of 64 to win the tournament was nothing short of brilliant bearing in mind he had to win the tournament to have a chance to win the order of merit. The way he went about his business was even better. The one hundred percent focus on the task in hand without taking undue risk or trying to hit the ball too far was golf of the very highest standard. I doubt there that has been many better displays of what it takes to win. The mental strength needed by Luke will not be needed by many handicap golfers but the real thing to learn is the way he got out of his own way and did not take anything for granted. Practically every shot he played was intuitive and that from a coach’s perspective was what made the victory so special. Getting out of our own way and playing intuitive golf is something we could all do a lot more often and if we did we would see tremendous improvements in our scores and subsequently the enjoyment we get from golf. All golfers will be aware just how much of the

game is played with the head but remember the last time you played really well for a second... I bet you were hardly thinking about the way you played; you just played golf and you know what the result is. Think how good it would be if you played that way more often… give it a go and see what happens, you may be very surprised at the results. WIN A ROUND OF GOLF FOR 2 INCLUDING BUGGY AT THE BEAUTIFUL EL PLANTIO RESORT IN ALICANTE To enter this competition, simply answer the question below correctly. Every correct answer will be entered into a draw at the end of the month and the winner of this fantastic prize worth over 180€ will be picked at random at the end of each month. Send your entries by email to The decision of the editor of RTN will be final in making the winning selection. QUESTION FOR 28TH OCTOBER 2011 Which golfer is known as The Black Knight? A. Gary Player B. Arnold Palmer C. Jack Nicklaus All answers must be received no later than 5pm on 31st October 2011 to be entered into October’s draw, which will be made on October 31st. The winner will be announced in RTN on 4th November 2011. NOEL EASTWELL GOLF ACADEMY AT EL PLANTIO Top quality coaching at reduced rates for RTN Golf Club members: contact Noel on 639 730 891.

Any questions you have for Noel should be sent to

Sailing Association Mar Menor

4TH RACE Day of the SAMM Autumn Series: Sunday 23rd October 2011. The 4th race day was postponed from 16th October to 23rd October. The races take place from the CAR Infanta Cristina Sailing Centre at Los Narejos on the Mar Menor and are run under the RYA Portsmouth Yardstick handicap system. 1ST RACE The morning race started at 12 noon, with a north, north easterly wind with a speed of 2 knots increasing during the race, 5 boats competed over two laps. The results on corrected time were:

Rojales Netball Club

NETBALL IS now being played in Rojales as Pedro Llopis, Sports Councillor at Rojales Town Hall, kindly agreed to include the netball group in the town’s sports programme. Training is on Tuesdays from 7pm–8.30pm at the Polideportivo Municipal Ciudad Quesada with games throughout the season against other teams in Spain and visiting teams from the UK. The netball team has recently returned from a tournament in Javea where they played against teams from Valencia and Javea and four teams from across the UK. This was a very tough competition for a newly set up team with little training beforehand. However they nonetheless acquitted themselves victoriously against the other Spanish teams. The teams from the UK were a different matter and although the Rojales team gave them all a very good game, their lack of practice showed through. The team is inviting new players urgently - whether you just want to play netball for enjoyment, or want to take on the challenge of competitive netball, do go along. For further details please contact either Tracey 679 539 995 or Claire 680 300 637.

Place | Boat | Helm | Crew | Times 1st Miracle | John Clarke | Doreen Squires 2nd Catamaran | Derek English | M. Harding, J. Parker, G. Wharrad 3rd Laser 2000 | John Down | Vernon O´Byrne 4th GAMBA | Janice Penning | Cristobal Jurado, Carl Vogt 5th Laser 13 | Roger Drew | Anne Marie Tasney 2ND RACE By 3.30pm the wind was in a north easterly direction with an increased speed of 10 knots. Six boats started and fought an exciting two lap contest. The results on corrected time were:1st Miracle | John Clarke | Doreen Squires 2nd Laser 2000 | John Down | Vernon O’Byrne 3rd Catamaran | Derek English | Mike Harding, John Parker 4th Sea Hopper | Mick Burgess 5th Laser 13 | Roger Drew | Annemarie Tasney 6th Gamba | Janice Penning | Cristobal Jurado, Carl Vogt The 5th Race Day of the Autumn Series will be on Sunday 30th October. For more information about SAMM and its race program go to and follow the links or email to

28 OCT- 3 NOV 2011


Fishing Maggots End by

David Hoare

968 199 279

For further details ring Alan Roscoe 968 570 876 or email: THIS WEEK’S match was the first of the Presidents Trophy, a series of four matches with all matches to count. The venue was the Eden canal stretch of the Rio Segura. The water level is back to its normal level with a slight flow. However, nature in the way of the bamboo reeds is desperately trying to regain control of the bankside. The fishing was not as good as a fortnight ago with only two anglers breaking into double figures. As for me, I had a good day not having to go for a swim to get any tackle back. Top rods on the day 1st Lenny (Ex Cultural Attache) Bolton fishing the pole using pellet with 16.58 kg 2nd Stan (The Man) Roberts fishing the pole using pellet with 13.34 kg 3rd Dave (Yours Truly) Hoare fishing the pole using pellet and corn with 6.90 kg PLEASE NOTE The club at present does have some vacancies and if you are interested in joining please contact Derek Swann on 96 672 9293 or 667 407 026. ABBEY ANGLING RESULTS supplied by Terry Screen This week’s match on 18th October was the 5th round of the Winter League, moved from the 8ft Drain to Nancy’s due to insufficient fishable pegs. This stretch of water is in desperate need of a working party to clear it; possibly the three main fishing clubs could get together to organise something? The cooler nights have definitely slowed down the feeding patterns of the fish, and although just under 10kgs won the match the water fished very patchily with good anglers struggling to break 6 kilos. 1st was Dave (The Sweetie Man) Hutchinson with 9.980kgs on Pole pellet and

corn 2nd was Lenny (The Ex Cultural Attache) Bolton with 9.600kgs on pole and pellet 3rd was Stan (The Man) Roberts with 8.040kg also on pole and pellet All details are available from or from Match Secretary Terry Screen on 96 532 8368 Anglers Together WE HAVE been having a lot of enquiries about licenses from anglers who are passing the ‘magic age of 65’ and therefore pensioners! Licenses are still required and are free providing you have a Spanish ‘Pensionista’ card; otherwise you will have to pay the normal fees. Licenses are available from town halls or the Caja Rural Bank in the Valencia region. In Murcia you will also require insurance. Make sure you take photocopies of all relevant documents to obtain your license, i.e. passport photo-page, NIE and insurance. Anglers Together was formed to introduce and encourage anglers of all abilities to meet up and get together to fish, either sea or freshwater. Firm friendships have been formed during the time the group has been active and information on fishing venues and licenses required are available at the meetings or by regular emailed newsletters. Meetings are held in two locations each month. Anyone with an interest in fishing (sea or freshwater) is welcome to come along to a meeting. The next meetings are: Friday11th November at 12pm at Mary’s Bar, Campoverde (near Pilar de la Horadada); Saturday 12th November at 12pm at The New Royal Bar and Restaurant at El Alamillo: opposite the seafront between Isla Plana and Puerto de Mazarron.

FC Torrevieja news

FC TORREVIEJA gave new manager Casimiro Torres the perfect start with a 2-0 away win last weekend at previously unbeaten at home Villarreal C with goals from Petu and Ramiro. Torry continue their journey to the play-offs with a home match this Sunday against SC Requena: kick-off 5pm: be there!

RTN North Edition 628  
RTN North Edition 628  

RTN North Edition 628