The Georgetown Voice, August 27, 2010

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STICKA LAUNCHES ANC CAMPAIGN PAGE 4

HOYAS IMPRESS IN THE KENNER LEAGUE PAGE 6

DINOSAURS INVADE SOUTHERN VIRGINIA PAGE 11

Georgetown University’s Weekly Newsmagazine Since 1969 w August 27, 2010 w Volume 43, Issue 2 w georgetownvoice.com

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Voice Crossword “D.C. Chillin’” by Mary Cass

ACROSS 1. Like grass in the morning 5. Civil rights activist Guinier 9. American Eagle’s line of intimates 14. Hill’s counterpart 15. Door-to-door cosmetics company

16. The precursor to an effect 17. Anger 18. Home to Jumbo Slice and Madam’s Organ 20. And so on 21. Write seperately, for example 22. Home to Ben’s Chili Bowl,

answers at georgetownvoice.com jazz, and the Black Cat 24. Baltimore rapper often partnered with M.I.A. 28. Accidents in nylons 29. Hold on 31. Regina Spektor song, from 2009’s “Far” 32. Bowie’s “The Man Who ___ The World” 33. Dull surface 34. Homo sapiens 35. Suffix for “confer” 36. Parties hard 37. Nick’s wife in The Thin Man 38. Egyptian cat breed 39. Brawl 40. Sea bird 41. Back of the boat 42. Zealous 43. Enemies 44. Parisian war 46. Home of Sticky Rice and the Rock N Roll hotel 49. Ascribe 52. Stan of Marvel Comics 53. Home of the Kennedy Center, McFadden’s D.C., and George Washington University 56. Before, poetically 57. Colloquial expression

58. Type of earring 59. Q ____ queen (2 words) 60. Designer Geoffrey 61. Payroll IDs 62. Employs DOWN 1. French farewell 2. Bar game 3. Shock 4. Us 5. Gentlemen’s counterparts 6. Pirate’s cry 7. Edibles 8. Police dept. employee 9. Devoted follower 10. Country singer Steve 11. Carpet 12. ‘90s hit “Life ___ Highway” 13. Night, to a poet 18. Fix 19. Deserves 23. Lord over 25. Merciless

get wordy.

26. Long for 28.

27. Sicilian hot spot 29. Initiated, as in war 30. Fits perfectly, or “to ___” 32. Common screwup 33. Timbuktu’s land 35. Online ‘zine 36. Studio effect 37. ___-do-well 39. Maeby Funke’s catchphrase 40. Tribal pole 43. Lens settings 45. Tease 46. Hang your ___ (trust) 47. Creepy 48. Adolescents 50. Aah’s matches 51. Classic Pontiacs 53. Little lie 54. Keats’s specialty 55. Scots’ “give” 59. Tenleytown university

help us write crosswords. contact crossword@georgetownvoice.com

editorial

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VOICE the georgetown

Volume 43.2 August 27, 2010 Editor-in-Chief: Juliana Brint Managing Editor: Molly Redden Editor-at-Large: Tim Shine Director of Technology: Alexander Pon Blog Editor: Chris Heller News Editor: Cole Stangler Sports Editor: Nick Berti Feature Editor: Sean Quigley Cover Editor: Holly Ormseth Leisure Editor: Brendan Baumgardner Voices Editor: Keaton Hoffman Photo Editor: Jackson Perry Design Editors: Megan Berard, Ishita Kohli Literary Editor: James McGrory Crossword Editor: Mary Cass Assistant Blog Editors: Geoffrey Bible, Julie Patterson Assistant News Editors: Emma Forster, Holly Tao Assistant Cover Editor: Marc Fichera Assistant Leisure Editors: Nico Dodd, Leigh Finnegan Assistant Photo Editor: Hillary Nakasone

Associate Editor: Iris Kim Staff Writers:

Cyrus Bordbar, Tom Bosco, Kara Brandeisky, Matthew Collins, Kate Imel, Satinder Kaur, Scott Munro, Rob Sapunor, Keenan Timko, Imani Tate, Tim Wagner, J. Galen Weber

Staff Photographers:

Max Blodgett, Jue Chen, Matthew Funk, Lexie Herman

Staff Designers:

Richa Goyal, Dara Morano, Marc Patterson

Copy Chief: Matt Kerwin Editorial Board Chair: Hunter Kaplan Editorial Board:

Kara Brandeisky, Jackson Perry, Eric Pilch, Sean Quigley, Molly Redden

Head of Business: Eric Pilch

NOT FEELING GRAY

Re-elect Mayor Adrian Fenty this September From the city’s dropping crime rates to the impressive development that the District of Columbia has experienced over the last four years, Mayor Adrian Fenty’s government has vastly improved the quality of life in D.C. and demonstrated a commitment to tackling some of the city’s most daunting problems. His administration has made significant improvements to many city services that were in morbid condition for most of recent history, including the police department, AIDS policy, and the city’s social services departments. In the D.C. Democratic primary, which will be held September 14, Fenty deserves voters’ support to continue delivering results like these to the District.

Perhaps most importantly, Fenty’s vision for the city’s education system remains clear, and over the past few years, his choices have proven effective in rais-

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On this week’s cover ... Jack & the Best of Georgetown Cover Illustration: Marc Fichera

ing test scores in what was one of the nation’s most dismal public school systems.

Fenty’s chief rival for mayor, City Council Chairman Vincent Gray, has some specific and solid ideas for D.C.’s schools, like the much-needed reform of the District’s special education program, but in other crucial areas, he is vague and worryingly noncommittal. His refusal to either endorse IMPACT, the evaluation tool that guided D.C. Public Schools Chancellor Michelle Rhee when she dismissed over 200 teachers this summer, or to suggest an alternative method to identify sub-par teachers is just one example. Gray has also made grandiose promises about leading aggressive and well-funded lobbying efforts for D.C. statehood without offering any explanation of how the City could possibly pay for such a campaign.

Fenty has not been the perfect mayor.

While he has brought much-needed development to the District over the last four years, the city’s black population has experienced few of the accompanying economic gains, and his dismissive attitude about accusations of favoritism in the distribution of city contracts is unsettling. But his worst quality is also his best.

Undaunted by political opponents, Fenty has made sound decisions in the face of loud protest, such as his controversial school closures and teacher firings that have helped improve DCPS’s performance. Fenty also lavished funds on schools and libraries in D.C.’s poorest and richest wards in equal portions.

Even Fenty’s rivals cannot and do not deny the breadth of the progress that the city has made under his administration. A vote for Fenty next month will ensure that D.C. continues to make those important gains.

WIRED IS TIRED

Down to the wire: UIS finally upgrades

Almost a decade after wireless Internet was first installed on Georgetown’s campus, University Information Systems has finally announced that it will make wireless access a reality in all of Georgetown’s residence halls by the end of the 2010-11 academic year. This has been a long time coming for Georgetown, and UIS deserves praise for finally committing to providing students with what is, in today’s world, a necessity. Now, however, UIS must follow through.

This fast-tracked program is a heartening reversal of the University’s long-standing reluctance to invest in technology. Just this past spring, Associate Director of Academic and Information Services Donna White told students at a January town hall meeting that “Georgetown is never going to be on the leading edge. We’re never going to put ourselves out there when the technology is thrown at

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us.” Citing the high cost of investing in new technology, Georgetown was essentially mortgaging its future for marginal cost savings.

More encouraging is the deadline set by UIS for this upgrade, the end of the academic year. As UIS makes advances, students will be notified of the progress of each building’s installation. This increased transparency and accountability is a step in the right direction for a department historically plagued with vague and ambiguous timetables.

But the eventual completion of a campuswide high-speed wireless network should only be considered a first step in improving Georgetown’s woefully inconsistent on-campus technology. After completing the wireless upgrades, UIS should continue to look for ways to correct the other technical inadequacies that plague Georgetown. The majority of students still do not enjoy benefits like a

fully functional tech center and access to the complete slate of Google Apps through their University email accounts. Georgetown administrators should work with students and faculty to correct these issues—and they can start by improving the functionality of MyAccess, the University’s catchall student services client. MyAccess has the potential to be a useful tool for everything from searching for classes to paying bills online, but more often than not the service is a headache to navigate, especially during pre-registration.

The promise to finally bring wireless access to Georgetown’s living spaces is laudable, but it comes far too late to be considered a complete success. Time will tell if this initiative is a turning point in the way Georgetown prioritizes technology or simply a single achievement within a long record of underperformance.

NEIGHBORS BE FRONTIN’

Oppose! Neighborhood association hysteria

This semester, Georgetown University will take its 2010 Campus Plan to the District of Columbia Zoning Commission to get approvals on all its construction projects for the next decade. Unfortunately, the University’s neighbors—unhappy that the plan, in their view, will exacerbate what they see as overcrowding in their neighborhoods—have started a full-fledged misinformation campaign in an attempt to force the University to accept more of their demands.

Since the first community meeting about the campus plan in May 2009, the University has made good faith efforts to solicit feedback from neighbors and alter the plan accordingly.

Unfortunately, neighborhood groups such as the Burleith Citizens Association and Citizens Association of Georgetown have continually worked to create an atmosphere of hostility between Georgetown students, administrators, and members of the surrounding community by choosing to highlight only the facts that support their individual agendas. In the neighborhoods’ latest attack on Georgetown’s 2010 Campus Plan, for example, an op-ed in

the Georgetowner, a group of citizens associations claim that Georgetown plans to increase enrollment by 3,400 students without providing on-campus housing, which they say will push the additional students into neighboring communities.

But their alarmist wording, suggesting that undergraduates are going to invade the area around Georgetown in droves, completely misrepresents what the plan proposes. As University officials have explained in community meetings as early as November 2009, undergraduate enrollment is not going to increase. The 3,400 students will be enrolled in graduate and professional programs, and most of them students will be commuting from Maryland and Virginia, where they already have homes and families. Furthermore, the University does intend to build an on-campus housing complex for additional graduate students on the 1789 and Tombs block. They had initially planned to accommodate 250 to 300 graduate students, but neighbors complained so forcefully about neighborhood density that they scaled

back their plans to propose only 120 beds for graduate students and faculty.

Luckily, the University has not buckled to neighborhood demands. The University has wisely refused to go along with residents’ main complaint and agree to build new oncampus housing for undergraduates. The University built the Southwest Quad, which can house over 900 students, in 2003 and adding more undergraduate housing would require building dorms in the few open spaces we have left, such as Harbin patio. Besides, upperclassmen students would likely choose off-campus houses over new dorm-style residence halls anyway.

After over a year of negotiations, this is the 2010 Campus Plan. Neighbors, students, and University officials have all seen some of their desires compromised. No plan would satisfy everyone, but with the deadline for submitting the plan closing in, neighborhood associations and University administrators should be less interested in opposing one another and more interested in agreeing to move forward.

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august 27, 2010

Sophomore Sticka launches ANC bid

by Kara Brandeisky Many Georgetown students have been working on political campaigns for the upcoming midterm election cycle, but Jake Sticka (COL ’13) has launched his own.

This fall, Sticka hopes to be elected to the Advisory Neighborhood Commission, a local government body where he would represent Georgetown students alongside commissioners from nearby neighborhoods like Burleith and West Georgetown.

Part of the District of Columbia’s hyperlocal government struc-

Courtesy jake sticka

Jake Sticka, your candidate for ANC.

ture, the ANC is a group of elected officials who primarily pass resolutions about neighborhood issues like liquor licenses and zoning.

There are dozens of ANCs spread across the city’s eight wards. Although their duties may sound mundane, ANCs can be powerful; according to D.C. law, District agencies must give ANC recommendations “great weight” when making decisions.

While the Georgetown ANC tackles many issues of little importance to students, it also makes decisions that seriously impact students’ lives. Last year, the ANC staunchly advocated for the closure of a popular late-night pizza restaurant, Philly Pizza & Grill, which was shut down by the D.C. Superior Court in March. In 2006, it passed a resolution opposing a proposed on-campus keg ban and last year the ANC rejected plans from architects for the Wisconsin Avenue Apple Store four times before finally approving designs for the first Apple store in the District.

The most relevant issue Sticka would face, though, is the widespread neighborhood opposition to the University’s 2010 Campus Plan.

Should the ANC urge the D.C. Zoning Commission reject the plan, the Commission will take the ANC’s

recommendations into consideration when evaluating Georgetown’s construction plans for the next decade.

Sticka said he hopes to represent the student perspective on these issues. He became animated as he expressed frustration over what he considered to be “misleading” attacks on the plan, such as the assertion that the increase in graduate enrollment would flood Georgetown neighborhoods with students.

“I think all of [the 2010 Campus Plan] should be passed,” Sticka said. “A lot of it has been compromised already.”

To get on the ballot, Sticka needs 25 signatures from residents in his single member district who are registered to vote in the District.

The D.C. Board of Elections and Ethics provided Sticka with a list of residents who qualify, but Sticka said the list is “not particularly useful.” At 20 pages, it includes the names of over 650 people, some of whom registered to vote in 1968.

Many are now deceased.

Sticka, who is currently running unopposed, has until September 4 to file his paperwork. He currently has 12 signatures.

Last Saturday afternoon, Sticka knocked at a door on the

1200 block of 37th Street to ask a resident for her support. The resident—the self proclaimed “Mother Superior on the block”—said she’d be happy to sign as long as Sticka promised that she could call him about problems in the neighborhood.

Sticka said that he has mostly been asking Jesuits, chaplainsin-residence, faculty and other neighborhood residents for their support. He said so far no one has refused to sign.

Senior Vice President for Strategic Development Daniel Porterfield, one of the residents who signed Sticka’s petition, said the job of student ANC commissioner is “tremendously important” because student ANC commissioners must remain committed and interested in occasionally mundane neighborhood issues.

“Jake will show the members of the ANC that Georgetown students can be counted on to be engaged citizens on all matters and not only on questions directly relevant to the student experience,” Porterfield said.

Georgetown Scholarship Program Director Melissa Foy (COL ’03) recalled that when she was an undergraduate, students were running for commission seats for the

first time. She signed his petition because she said it is critical that the Georgetown ANC include student commissioners and the different perspective they bring. Foy said she hopes Jake can “smooth the way for a better relationship” with neighbors.

“I think Jake’s a great guy,” she said. “Bright, talented, astute.”

Sticka said that his predecessor, Aaron Golds (COL ’11), has been giving him advice about whom to contact for signatures.

While Golds has not been directly involved with Sticka’s candidacy so far, Golds said he plans to meet with Sticka more once his wouldbe replacement actually gets on the ballot.

If elected, Sticka hopes to get more Georgetown students involved with the ANC. Golds said he has “high hopes” for Sticka’s candidacy and that he would encourage Sticka to make the position his own.

“What I would tell anybody is …what has worked for me won’t necessarily work for you,” Golds said. “Go in with an open mind and make it a risk.”

The election will be held November 2. If elected, Sticka would begin his two-year term in January 2011.

What have you been doing so far and what do you aim to accomplish here?

million people, many of whom were working people, some of whom were former members of [SEIU’s]—homecare, childcare, and low-wage service workers.

I think he’s done really well on the [Equal Pay for Equal Work Bill] and made some great appointments to boards and commissions.

But I think everybody appreciates that right now we have an incredible amount of joblessness and wage inequality, and so far, [he] may not have had the success they hoped for.

new people covered. I think there’s an incredible focus now on preventive care and trying to stop people from being sick, and I think in the long-run, it’s a big step forward. But there’s another step or two that’s going to have to get done.

competition between the U.S. and China. It’s very hard for employers in a global economy to pay union wages and benefits in general. Two is the union movement didn’t really adjust to the 21st century.

We’re better historians than futurists.

And I think, in this century, you’re going to need a new model to think about what unions’ jobs are. I’m hoping that around here at Georgetown, at the Public Policy Institute, that there can be a discussion about unions.

But more importantly, how do people that go to work everyday actually get ahead, how do they make a decent salary, how do they retire with dignity?

All those things are major problems in our country right now.

On the record with new senior research fellow Andy Stern On Wednesday morning, the Voice sat down with Andy Stern, the former president of Service Employees International Union and a new senior research fellow at Georgetown’s Public Policy Institute. Stern, who led one of the largest unions in the United States from 1996 to 2010, began his fellowship at Georgetown earlier this week.

Interview conducted and transcribed by Cole Stangler.

What made you decide to come to Georgetown to pursue this fellowship?

I was impressed by the work that Georgetown was doing around the formation of the Kalmonovitz Institute for Labor and the Working Poor.

I feel like President [John] DeGioia has a new emphasis on trying to make the University more relevant in the community of Washington as well as [globally], and I feel like the Public Policy Institute is ready to really take off here at Georgetown.

So far, I’ve found my office.

Got my e-mail. I’m currently involved with President [Obama]’s fiscal commission, which will report December 1 on ways to deal with the longterm deficit, Social Security, and Medicare.

I’ve been thinking about how the University can be helpful to me to learn more about what people have been doing here—and then how I can share with people at the University some of what I think is happening and what I think it means for students as well as what it means to faculty.

How would you rate Obama’s performances so far on labor issues? Would you say you’re satisfied?

I’d say the biggest labor issue, which was an American issue really, was whether we’d have health care for 30

So are you disappointed with the strength of the health care reform bill, or are you of the position that any reform is good at this point?

I knew many people who were worried about what they were going to do if their kid got sick, who went bankrupt, and in some cases, died because they didn’t have health care.

I think it’s an enormous achievement to have 30 million

You said earlier that there’s widespread unemployment. There’s also a lot of dissatisfaction with government. Why do you think unions haven’t been able to capitalize on some of this popular discontent?

One is because unions were really strong in the sectors of the economy that have now gone global.

There’s now wage

reuters

news

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This summer’s biggest stories

by Cole Stangler Georgetown’s 2010 Campus Plan faces opposition

Every 10 years, the University is required to submit a plan to the D.C. Zoning Commission detailing its construction and expansion plans for the upcoming decade.

They are not always popular with the University’s neighbors, and this summer, residents of Burleith and West Georgetown intensified their opposition to Georgetown’s proposed 2010 Campus Plan.

Those plans for expansion—including the enrollment of 3,400 additional graduate students—have enraged neighborhood community groups, who are demanding more on-campus housing for undergraduates. In August, the Georgetowner published a joint op-ed from four community organizations criticizing the plan for its failure to address late night noise, disorderly conduct, and trash violations caused by students living off-campus.

The Burleith Citizens Associa-

tion and the Citizens Association of Georgetown have both launched fund-raising campaigns to hire experts to testify against the plan and have circulated online petitions addressed to Mayor Adrian Fenty and Georgetown’s representative on the D.C. Council. The BCA also began selling lawn signs with slogans like “Our Homes, Not GU’s Dorms” to express their staunch opposition to the plan.

UIS promises wireless coverage by spring 2011

University Information Services announced this July that it will overhaul Georgetown’s notoriously unreliable wireless Internet coverage during the 2010-11 academic year. A partnership with Cisco systems will fund the upgrades, which will take place in all campus dorms that do not currently have wireless access. Students will be notified as new dorms receive upgrades. According to UIS, every residence hall will have wireless Internet access by the end of spring semester.

Philly P’s tries to reopen

Last year, neighbors waged a successful campaign to shut down the late-night pizza joint Philly Pizza & Grill, a restaurant that had gained notoriety among students for its early-morning sale of ranch-soaked pizza slices and the throngs of drunk and disorderly students they attracted on weekends. The restaurant’s neighbors complained to neighborhood and city officials for months before a court order and a Board of Zoning Adjustment ruling shut the restaurant down in March.

This summer Philly Pizza owner Matt Kocak filed a demolition permit with the D.C. Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs in the hopes of possibly reopening the restaurant. The building is now zoned as a “prepared food shop,” hinting that Kocak is not out to recreate the late night pizza joint he once ran. But in any event, neighborhood leaders say they will not let his establishment reopen without a fight.

Science Center be-gins delayed construction

CHris HeLLer

Lawn signs symbolize neighborhood opposition to 2010 Campus Plan.

D.C.’s politics of personality

Washington has long embraced local politicians with polarizing personalities and less-than-savory behavior. Think of former Mayor and current disgraced Councilmember Marion Barry’s famous “set up”—and think about how the city continues to embrace him.

Yet, in the run-up to the September 14 Democratic mayoral primary, the media has focused intently on incumbent Adrian Fenty’s personality flaws. Just last week, local alt-weekly Washington City Paper ran a cover story asking readers, “Is Adrian Fenty a jerk?” and after 3200 words, it’s hard not to answer in the affirmative. The Cur-

rent newspapers recently endorsed challenger and D.C. Council Chair Vincent Gray, citing Fenty’s “seeming arrogance towards other elected officials.”

Lost in all of this personalitydriven analysis is the strong record of Fenty’s administration in delivering government services, lowering crime, and reforming D.C.’s abysmal education system. Violent crime has decreased significantly, and homicides are at their lowest level since 1964. D.C. Public Schools Chancellor Michelle Rhee has carried out significant changes—removing ineffective teachers and closing down poorly perform-

In late May, the University finally broke ground on its new Science Center. The building’s construction began back in 2007 but was indefinitely delayed due to the economic recession, which left the university unable to obtain necessary loans. In late 2009, $6.9 million of federal stimulus funds from the National Institute of Standards and Technology. The Center is scheduled to be completed by fall 2012.

ing, underutilized schools—and has the test scores to prove that DCPS is making progress. A 2009 National Assessment of Educational Progress study found that,

City on a Hill

by Eric Pilch

A bi-weekly column on D.C. news and politics since 2007, when Rhee’s tenure began, DCPS has been the only major urban school district that has made significant gains in reading and math achievement among fourth and eighth graders.

Fenty’s critics charge that his difficult and closed-off management style hampers his ability to

the georgetown voice 5

Student info sold to bank

by Chris Heller Contracts disclosed under federal law reveal that the Georgetown University Alumni and Student Federal Credit Union and the Georgetown University Alumni Association signed a seven-year, $2.8 million affinity agreement with Bank of America in 2007.

The contract—which has existed at Georgetown in some form since 1984—pays royalties to GUASFCU and GUAA based on the number of credit card accounts opened by Georgetown students and alumni. GUASFCU and GUAA also provided customer lists of students and alumni to BoA for marketing purposes.

According to GUASFCU Chief Executive Officer Arjun Mehta (SFS ‘11), the University Registrar’s office compiled its customer list, which the Credit Union then passed on to BoA. “At that time, we didn’t have the capacity to offer students credit cards,” Mehta said.

“We saw the chance to give students the opportunity to build credit, help drive income towards the Alumni Association for scholarships, and help Bank of America. We considered it a win-win-win situation.”

Mehta added that the profits earned help GUASFCU raise interest rates and lower fees for customers.

Some experts have argued, however that such relationships can harm young customers.

“I think marketing credit

govern effectively, but in reality he has fulfilled the major promises he campaigned on in 2006. Fenty has made his share of mistakes, and some serious ethical blunders— like the millions of dollars in city contracts he handed out to his former Howard University fraternity brothers—have understandably detracted from his achievements.

This has allowed the well-respected Gray to mount an effective campaign against him.

However, the politics of personality break down when one looks at the alternative Gray presents.

While a recent Clarus Research poll shows Gray with a slight lead, the current D.C. Council Chair offers only a few substantive polity differ-

cards to young people can lead to young people getting in trouble with credit card companies,” Ed Mierzinski, consumer program director of U.S. Public Interest Research Group, said.

Under the terms of the agreement, GUAA receives all royalties related to alumni credit card accounts, while GUAA and GUASFCU split student credit card royalties.

FIA Card Services, a subsidiary of Bank of America, pays $400,000 in annual advance payments to both organizations.

GUAA and GUASFCU receive royalties for new credit card accounts, along with a portion of all retail purchases made on the accounts, and certain bonuses.

However, Mehta suggested royalty payments fell short of the six-figure maximum. Royalties have dropped in recent years to roughly $4,000 per year, he said.

While GUAA representatives did not comment before the deadline for this article, the organization’s website touts the agreement, noting that it “help[s] support student and alumni programming,” such as the John Carroll Scholarship, the Alumni Lounge in Village C. “I blame the banks. I think it’s completely fine for colleges to have an affinity card that they market to students and alumni.”

Mierzinski said. “But the agreements that I have seen have consistently allowed banks unparalleled and detailed access to demographic information about undergraduate students.”

ences from Fenty, if any.

Adrian Fentry’s combative reputation has placed him in a tight race driven by personality over substance. Publicly displaying a commitment to the highest ethical standards and a softer management style would send a strong signal that Fenty has learned from his mistakes and is poised to extend his impressive program of governance and reform. If not, a politician who once showed unbelievable promise will be forgotten as a single term mayor who let the trappings of City Hall get to his head.

Want some serious personality?

Email Eric at epilch@georgetownvoice. com

sports

6 the georgetown voice

august 27, 2010

Hoyas attend summer school at McDonough

by Tim Shine Officially, college basketball begins with Midnight Madness in the fall and ends after March Madness. But in reality, the sport runs year-round. There’s recruiting, transfers, scheduling, and, best of all, summer league.

For over 20 years the storied Nike Pro City Jabbo Kenner League has been the summer home to Georgetown players, where they are split up (NCAA rules limit teams to two players from the same school) along with players from other area schools and other local players.

They compete against one another on weekends in July and August.

Kenner League, which is open to the public, offers die-hards a dose of college basketball in the middle of the off-season, but also provides an intriguing stand-alone spectacle: What if Jason Clark faced off against Vee Sanford? Or how would Chris Wright fare running the point alongside 42-yearold former Hoya Mark Tillmon?

There’s also a chance to see Julian Vaughn post up DeMarcus Cousins, and to catch a glimpse of what could have been as Jeff Green plays alongside Austin Freeman. Yes, even the pros come to Kenner League.

“If they’re in town working out, they want to come down and get a little run in, and get some bump and keep on rolling,” Kenner League Director Van Johnson said.

Cousins and Green only stopped by for guest appearances, but some pros stick around all summer long. It makes for a competitive atmosphere that gives the youngest players a crash course in what they can expect from college basketball.

“Not only do college kids play in the Kenner League, pro athletes play

in the Kenner League,” Eric White, who coaches the Tombs team, said.

“It’s a faster game, it’s a rougher pace. It’s a different type of transition from high school to college basketball.”

Of the coaches of the league’s 12 teams, White may be the most wellversed in guiding young players through that transition. The Tombssponsored team traditionally features all the Hoya freshmen (incoming students are not included in the NCAA player limit). White has been its coach since the beginning of head coach John Thompson III’s tenure at Georgetown.

This year White had to manage four newcomers—Nate Lubick, Markel Starks, Moses Abraham, and Aaron Bowen—along with two Georgetown veterans, senior Austin Freeman and sophomore Hollis Thompson.

The freshmen impressed White, to say the least.

“I think these four guys are probably as good as the first group of freshmen John [Thompson III] had,” White said.

That would be the class of 2008, the linchpin of Georgetown’s Final Four run and back-to-back Big East titles. He’s serious.

“I’m talking about Roy Hibbert, Jeff Green, Jon Wallace, and those guys,” he said. “I think these guys are just as talented. I think they can do just as much basketball-wise as the four other guys.”

The two freshmen most likely to make an impact right away are Starks and Lubick. Starks, a local product from Georgetown Prep, is a speedy guard who impressed this summer with more than a few lightning-fast drives to the basket.

Lubick is an entirely different kind of player: a beefy 6-foot-9 power forward that should be a force to

JACKSON PERRY

Chris Wright is envisioning big things for the Hoyas this season.

be reckoned with down low.

“I think Nate Lubick is going to surprise a lot of people,” Johnson said. “He’s going to bring a toughness to Georgetown, because he doesn’t back down from anyone.”

Abraham may one day partner with Lubick in the Hoyas’ frontcourt, but for now he fills the role of Roy Hibbert in the class of 2008 analogy—a tall, physical specimen with raw skills. At times during Kenner League play Abraham would look lost on the court, but he has a lot of potential.

“Moses, he needs some work offensively,” White said. “But he’s one tenacious rebounder. And that’s something [Georgetown] could use.”

The final recruit, Bowen, is also

from the D.C. area, and adds a soft shooting touch and extra backcourt depth.

The summer league is also the first opportunity to see the returning players in competition since March.

Some standouts included sophomore Vee Sanford, running the point for Clyde’s, and his teammate senior Julian Vaughn, who Johnson said he saw “get better every game.” But perhaps the most meaningful Kenner performance came from Freeman, not so much in his game, but as the leader of the young Tombs squad.

“I would talk to him when things were rough out there to get the other guys to get going,” White said. “He was able to relay the message in a way in which the kids

didn’t feel like he was big-timing them or being very forceful or demanding. And every time I asked him, we would go on a spurt or a run. I think he has an idea of exactly what a captain does and what they need from him as a captain.”

The Hoyas still have a long way to go before Midnight Madness, let alone the Big East season or the NCAA tournament. Freeman and the Tombs, for all their talent, still got eliminated in their first Kenner playoff game.

Still, the Hoyas’ early exits shouldn’t concern them. It’s not until November that the games start to matter. But thanks to Kenner League, Georgetown should be a little stronger, a little faster, and a little more cohesive come the opening tip.

the Sports Sermon “It’s about leading the league in fucking wins.”— New York Jets Coach Rex Ryan sisting them. Every TV advertisement made it seem that the 2009 NBA Finals were between Kobe Bryant and Dwight Howard, not the Lakers and the Magic.

Superstars have a harder time overshadowing their team in college. Both Duke and Butler, the teams in last year’s NCAA Final, didn’t have a single player who averaged more than 20 points per game for the season. Georgetown

get to home-court advantage is having Tim Donaghy on its sideAt Georgetown, there is only line. At a New York Knicks game, one thing you need to purchase the only time fans yell is when when it comes to sports: men’s they are angry with their BlackBasketball season tickets. InBerry service. It is a sad fact, but stead of getting a care package a majority of Knicks, Lakers, and from your Aunt, just ask her to Heat fans only go to games to be write you a aheck for one of the seen and make themselves look best investments you can make. fashionable.

Sure, they cost as much as a text On both levels, the regular book, but seriously, students will season is really only a tune-up open most of those for the postseason.

Pete Rose Central books six times durThere is nothing betDa bettin’ line ing the semester. ter in sports than the Since many peoNCAA Basketball Dookies Margin Hoyas ple don’t develop tournament. Come (underdogs) (duh!) an allegiance to a (favorites) March, the brackets, college basketball the upsets, and the NFL CB’s AARP Favre team until they actubuzzer-beaters will The Law ally go to college, it even affect workKarma Clemens is important to catch places as adults Superbowl Revis Jets up quickly. Even the abandon their work most rabid sports fans spend their had Greg Monroe, who is now in and are pulled into the insanity. teenage years lost in the college the NBA, but the team’s success Top contenders can always fall hoops shuffle. came from unselfish teamwork prey to embarrassment, losing The first difference is the play- and tactical offensive strategy. in the first round to a no-name ers and the main reason for the The fans are better in college, school. (But that can’t happen two variation is money. No school too. College students and alumni years in a row, can it?) can pay their athletes (except for will drive miles and pack any In the NBA, the playoffs take teams coached by John Calipari). venue from a downtown arena forever. They last two months, But in the NBA, money breeds to a tiny gymnasium just to see almost as long as the annual Brett widespread narcissism and self- their team play. Not only are they Favre Saga. The only enjoyable ishness, which fuels the league’s supportive, they form a formi- way to watch the playoffs is to player-first, team-second men- dable presence that gives a whole turn on the TV and watch the final tality. Only in the NBA could a new meaning to home court ad- 10 minutes of game seven of the player like Lebron James hijack vantage. At the Verizon Center Finals. Nothing interesting hapthe biggest sports channel in the last year, the “Gray-Out” helped pens in the first 59 days anyway. country and hold an hour long the Hoyas beat eventual NaWhen students walk through special called “The Decision” to tional Champion Duke in front the front gates for the first time, announce which team would be of a packed house with Presi- the NBA takes a back seat to a lucky enough to have him. dent Obama sitting courtside. At kid’s game. But Georgetown is Unlike in college basketball, schools, students stand the entire a top national program, so take most teams in the NBA are built game and yell until their voices them seriously. There are only a around one or two star players are gone. little over two months until Midwith complementary players asThe closest an NBA team can night Madness.

by Nick Berti

sports

georgetownvoice.com

the georgetown voice 7

Soccer looks to rebound Hoyas on offensive

by Adam Rosenfeld Despite having a wealth of talent, the Georgetown men’s soccer team’s 2009 season ended in heartbreak. The Hoyas played solid soccer but lost numerous close games, the tough times culminating in a crushing loss to DePaul in the Big East Tournament during double overtime on penalty kicks.

“It’s a really tough way to end your season,” Head Coach Brian Wiese said. “Just ask Ghana.”

Although the sting from that loss may linger, the Hoyas have all the reason in the world to look forward to the 2010 season.

One bright spot for the upcoming season is the arrival of a pair of fresh faces on the sidelines. During the offseason, Georgetown added Brian Gill and Andrew Quinn to the team’s coaching staff. Gill will fill the vacancy left by former Assistant Coach

Josh Shapiro, now head coach at Tufts University. Quinn, a goalkeeper for D.C. United, will be the volunteer assistant and will mostly work with the four goalkeepers on the roster.

The coaching staff will have an extremely experienced team to work with this fall, something Wiese sees as a huge advantage.

“We have 11 seniors on the team who are all great players, and our sophomores are all seasoned veterans,” he said. “The guys really know each other’s strengths and weaknesses on the field.”

One of these key returning players is sophomore Ian Christianson.

As a midfielder Christianson played a huge role on the team last year as a creative distributor of the ball but was sidelined with an injury for part of the season. While Christianson was in the lineup, Georgetown enjoyed multiple victories against top teams and was deemed by many to

JACKSON PERRY

Ian Christianson looks to break out after a disappointing freshman year.

Stars align to light up D.C. Freshmen, consider yourself lucky that you weren’t around last year. In recent memory, following D.C. sports has been nothing short of self-flagellation.

Despite being one of the only cities in the country to have a professional team in all four major sports, the District was a laughingstock on the national sports scene. The Redskins finished in the cellar of the NFC East. Gilbert Arenas and the Washington Wizards took the shoot around to a whole new level. The alleged best team in hockey, the Washington Capitals became the first top seed in NHL history to lose to a No. 8 seed after a taking a 3-1 series lead in the first round in the playoffs. The Nationals are, well, the Nationals. And the Hoyas lost in the first round of the NCAA playoffs to No. 14

Ohio. While the memory of last year still hangs over the Nation’s capital, a glimmer of hope is actually illuminating the city.

Things won’t brighten immediately, but for the first time in a while, D.C. sports are looking up.

The Redskins are hoping that a Philadelphian cast-off can do what he failed to do in the City of Brotherly Love: win a Super Bowl.

Despite the fact that Donovan McNabb is a Syracuse graduate, it’s hard not to root for him. In his past, he was booed, jeered, and the object of every Eagles fan’s scorn for the majority of his tenure in Philly—despite going 73-39 with one Super Bowl appearance in his 10 years with the Eagles. And with Mike Shanahan taking over the coaching reigns from the muchcriticized Jim Zorn, the Skins have two fresh faces that one prays will

be a lock for the NCAA Tournament.

After the injury, the Hoyas experienced a weak spell and lost all hopes for post-season tournament selection.

Wiese will count on Christianson to anchor the Hoyas’ midfield core.

“We are as [the midfielders] are,” Wiese said. “If they’re playing well then we’re pretty hard to handle and if they’re struggling then we’re going to have a tough time.”

One surprising factor in the Hoyas’ favor this year is their schedule. A key difference, two fewer conference games, will allow Georgetown to achieve a higher RPI, one of the determining factors for NCAA Tournament selection.

Georgetown’s non-conference schedule, while lacking some of the big names of last year’s, is a challenging mix of opponents designed to both bolster the Hoyas’ NCAA Tournament résumé but also prepare the team for conference play.

“With the way the out of conference schedule is designed, we feel like we will be in great shape to make the tournament,” Wiese said.

“However, we need to stay focused, because the game you look to and think it’s an automatic win, that’s the game you lose.”

The Hoyas know that with this team, they have a great opportunity to make a statement in the Big East and reach the NCAA Tournament.

Wiese and all of the players are determined to put last year behind them and make the 2010 season something they won’t want to forget about.

“If we can keep the team competitive in training, keep the kids motivated, and manage the ups and downs of the season, we will be in a pretty great spot,” Weise said. “This will be a good year for us.”

erase the memory of the recent past. Football fans in the nation’s capital can hope that Shanahan can once again take an older, elite quarterback and win the Super Bowl, as he did 12 years ago with John Elway.

On the other side of town, a national phenomenon is going to be dancing his way into D.C. this season. John Wall, drafted

Backdoor Cuts

By Tom Bosco a rotating column on sports first overall by the Wizards out of Kentucky, is bringing his electric playmaking ability, up-tempostyle, and YouTube-sensation dance move to the troubled Wizards franchise. When the Wizards learned they would be awarded Wall in the NBA lottery, the team sold thousands of tickets in mere hours. And he’s not the only

by Nick Berti If your team failed to win a single game in 2009 after winning just two the year before, most players would have little motivation to compete. But not the Hoya football team.

Of course, it is never fun to go 0-11, but the promise of a clean slate and the chance to improve in the upcoming season has kept the Georgetown football team focused during the off-months.

To wit, they’ve made some important changes, like hiring Hofstra’s former offensive coordinator Dave Patenaude. Patenaude has completely changed the offensive schemes the team uses, a big step forward since the team’s strategy has been overly conventional in the past.

“It’s light-years ahead from anything I’ve seen since I’ve been here,” senior linebacker and team co-captain Nick Parrish said. “Guys really bought into the system and a lot of the younger guys coming in are picking it up really quick.”

In recent years, the Hoyas haven’t had the best downfield passing game either, but that may change now that a battle for the spot of starting quarterback is being waged between two talented arms, sophomore Isaiah Kempf and junior Scott Darby. Last season, Kempf completed 50.4 percent of his passes with two touchdowns and nine interceptions. In Darby’s sophomore campaign, he completed 46.7 percent of his passes while throwing four touchdowns and four interceptions. Both quarter-

magician in the organization.

Georgetown grad Ted Leonsis is entering his first season as the team’s owner, and, if the way he turned the Capitals around is any indication, the Wizards will be contenders a couple of years down the road. After last year’s debacle and the toxic team atmosphere, Leonsis’ optimistic attitude and fun culture is just what the team needs.

In both 2008 and 2009, the Nationals finished with the worst record in the MLB, highlighting the organization’s lack of improvement and promise. The worst team in Major League Baseball every year has been awarded the number one draft pick in next year’s amateur draft. And their hopelessness also brought them the best pitching prospect in history, Stephen Strasburg, as well as the best high school hitting prospect ever, Bryce Harper.

backs have looked good in camp and Hoya fans have reason to hope that their hard work this summer will translate to success on the gridiron.

Not only does Patenaude come in with a lot of experience, his intensity should help keep players focused and energized— which could be a vital change for a team competing on the heels of a demoralizing season.

“There’s a lot more confidence in the camp, confidence in our schemes, offensive and defensive,” senior offensive lineman and co-captain Dan Semler said. “So the attitude’s been great.

We’re really looking forward to [our first game at] Davidson.”

With their newfound confidence, the Hoyas have moved past last season’s 0-11 record and the losing culture may be gone.

One look at practice says a lot about how the team feels as the once negative yelling has now turned into positive roars.

“Our expectation is to win every game, so we’re going to take one at time,” Head Coach Kevin Kelly said.

Most teams around the Patriot League might laugh at that statement after what happened last year, but the Hoyas, whose 2010 football season kicks off on Saturday, September 4 when the team travels to North Carolina to take on Davidson, don’t mind what other teams think of them.

“It’s perfectly fine for us to be the underdog this year, and [for] no one to believe in us. That’s perfectly OK,” Parrish said. “It just makes us want to work that much harder.”

Strasburg has been electrifying in his major league infancy, but is currently ailing. Harper is two or three years away from the Big Show but his 500-foot home runs in junior college and high school have the Nationals thinking big. The presence of both is the most exciting thing that has happened to the Nationals organization since they moved to D.C. Realistically, the Redskins, Wizards, and the Nationals are a couple of years away from making serious plays for championships. But they are nowhere near the incompetent bunch that beleaguered the city last year. So, as we ring in the new school year, the black cloud that hangs over the District’s sports scene has turned a lighter shade of gray.

Do the John Wall dance with Tom at tbosco@georgetownvoice.com

8 the georgetown voice

Readers’ Choice Awards voted on by readers of the Voice’s blog, Vox Populi

best bar: The Tombs 1226 36th St. NW

best chinese: Harmony Cafe 3287 M St. NW

best delivery: Bangkok Bistro 3251 Prospect St. NW

best liquor store: Towne 1326 Wisconsin Ave. NW

best late night food: Tuscany Cafe 3261 Prospect St. NW

best sandwiches: Wisey’s 1440 Wisconsin Ave. NW

best pizza: Pizzeria Paradiso 3282 M St. NW

feature

feature

The Best of Georgetown georgetownvoice.com

august 27, 2010

Best station at Leo’s: Omelette

Best Twitter account to follow: Julian Vaughn

For students with meal plans, the prospect of eating at Leo’s three times a day, every day, can seem monotonous and unsatisfying. That being said, Leo’s actually does offer quite a bit of variety and tries its best to please everyone, from carbo-loading athletes to health nuts, the quintessential example being the omelette station on the lower level.

The key to the omelette station’s appeal is that it offers choices. It lets students select their own fillings from a variety of foods, offering everything from bell peppers to bacon, and the option of whole eggs or just egg whites. Be warned, though: the best time to try it is in the early morning—later on in the day, wait times can stretch beyond 20 minutes.

Still, as tasty as the omelettes are, try not to overdo it—after a few months of omelette breakfasts, maybe switch to syrup-drenched Belgian waffles or one of Leo’s cereal options.

Although it suffers from a hideously brutalist façade, Lauinger Library is nevertheless an OK place to get work done. But when Lau is too crowded and you need a study space that is quiet and isolated without making you feel like you’re in solitary confinement, the openness of the main floor of the Leavey Center makes for a nice change of scenery.

Hoya Court, a food court bustling with Hospital staff during the day, has plenty of workspace and a decent number of outlets by nightfall. The hallways past Hoya Court are even more secluded and quiet. During the day, you’re never far from food (besides the food court, there’s a Grab ‘n Go station and a Cosi), and at night it’s usually easy to find an empty table. For caffeine junkies, there’s the Corp-run Uncommon Grounds coffee shop, as well as a Starbucks. It has all the advantages of Lau (except the books and printing), and not nearly as many noisy students.

If won’t take long to realize that everyone has a very unique experience taking Problem of God. Some people are forced to sit through remedial lectures on the basic principles of every religion you can think of (try Wikipedia), and some have the time of their life as they find a Jesuit-driven opportunity to question their faith. But most neglect the opportunity to fulfill their basic theology requirement with Introduction to Biblical Literature.

Sure, it’s easy to see how the class title would be rather off-putting, but contrary to first impression, Professor Pilch’s class is not an attempt to sway you toward Christian ways. The material is simple and the class is rather objectively graded, so it shouldn’t be difficult to pull off a good grade. But the material is also remarkably interesting, as you’ll read the Bible as a historical document through a lens that pays particular attention to the book’s intended purpose. He’s funny, too.

Best book store: Bridge Street Books

(MUSC-117)

Not every administrator at Georgetown hides behind a cadre of assistants or bureaucratic hurdles. But then again, few of them count donkeys, dead languages, chocolate, and cupcakes among their chief interests, as Provost James O’Donnell does.

But O’Donnell isn’t just a Provost with a refined palate and a dry sense of humor. (Regarding his title, he once claimed, “We had to use an old Latin word to make it sound impressive enough for academics.”) He’s an accomplished scholar, writer, and editor who knows his stuff—if said stuff comes from the ancient Mediterranean world, anyway—and he has three decades of experience as a Classics professor.

O’Donnell is the kind of guy who agrees to judge a chicken wing contest, then calls the winner a “beacon of poultry excellence.” He’s the kind of guy who responds to student emails quickly and directly. (We suspect he obsessively checks his inbox.) He’s smart, dedicated to his job, and well spoken.

Why can’t every administrator be like JO’D?

Best coffee: Baked & Wired (1052 Thomas Jefferson St. NW)

(3000 K St. NW)

Best grocery store: Safeway

(1226 36th St. NW)

Let’s not kid ourselves; we all know the zombie apocalypse is coming sooner or later. So where is the best place to hunker down when the undead inevitably rise to exterminate our race once and for all? The Tombs.

In peacetime, the quintessentially Georgetown bar is a great place to grab a delicious meal, or to knock back a pint or ten if you’re over 21 (don’t even try to use fakes here). But the bar’s subterranean location beneath 36th Street means there are fewer windows to barricade against the impending swarm of brain-eaters, and only a few doors that open from the outside, making it an ideal hiding spot.

Just as important as the bar’s formidable defenses is the reasonably priced and satisfying fare it offers, particularly its selection of cheap study snacks. The ten-ounce strip steak with a Tombs brownie is delicious— although if you’re busy living out the last moments of I Am Legend, you probably won’t care.

(3116 M St. NW)

nsin

Wisco

M stre et

Best place to hide during the zombie apocalypse: Tombs

Best place to have your parents take you: Bodega

(2814 Pennsylvania Ave. NW)

Best administrator: ProvostJames O’Donnell

Best thing to do before you graduate: Climb John Carroll

Best date restaurant: Sequoia

(@MrJuJuVaughn)

Best month to be on campus: October Best alternative study space: Leavey Corridors

Best professor to take for your POG requirement: John Pilch

Its delicious and distinctive confectionaries make Baked & Wired the strongest competition facing Georgetown Cupcake, but it is also the best place in Georgetown for a cup of joe. Unlike some coffee shops in the area, this is no in-and-out hole-in-the wall—Baked & Wired is replete with comfy couches and offers wireless access, too.

Although it closes earlier than, say, late-night lifesaver Midnight Mug, Baked & Wired bests its competition with an expansive drink menu and the sheer quality of its coffee. There are no wrong choices. While the weather is still warm, the crisp iced coffee is a satisfying selection.

Getting this far off campus can be good way to eliminate distractions, too. Students can get more work done here than they would by “taking a break” on Lau 2 and watching re-runs of Teen Mom. Plus, the pumpkin cupcakes are a perfect reward for a completed paper.

by the Voice Staff

Although his 105 followers are a far cry from the millions following Lady Gaga and Britney Spears, our men’s basketball team’s very own Julian Vaughn (@MrJuJuVaughn) is one of the most entertaining people in the microblogging universe.

His twitter bio makes the claim that he’s “the most interesting man in the world,” and after perusing his page, it’s hard to refute him.

In his abbreviation- and hashtag-riddled tweets, Vaughn reveals himself as a giggling, wisecracking jokester, poking fun at teammates and friends alike. Whether calling someone out for using an outdated cell phone (“Just seen dude w a RAZR cell fone....#ewwwwwwwwwwww #its2010”), trying his hand at meteorology (“Uh bubba.....its gon rain somethin a fierce tonite...”), or predicting his performance next season (“But he gonna miss, and big daddy ju gonna get the rebound and put it bak babyyy and I steal ur thunder!”), our presumptive starting center has no shortage of amusing opinions. Sorry, @KingGeorgetown, but @MrJuJuVaughn is Georgetown’s true King of Twitter.

Best Leo’s Employee: Antonio from wraps

Best slack off class: History of Rock

the georgetown voice 9

(1855 Wisconsin St. NW)

From the wine cellar to the nut bar to the in-store Starbucks, it’s not a stretch to say that the enormous new Safeway at the corner of Wisconsin Avenue and 34th Street is the nicest grocery store you’ll find in the D.C. metropolitan area.

For freshman looking to avoid the “freshman 15,” there’s a wide array of healthy options, including excellent fresh produce. And the made-to-order hot sandwiches next to the rows of fresh bread and bagels will make you forget about Grab-N-Go Hoya wraps. For the lazier students among us, the GUTS Wisconsin shuttle, which arrives a mere one block north of the store, departs frequently from right outside Darnall.

With an in-store dry cleaner and an impressive offering of floral arrangements, the so-called “Social Safeway” (named for the elite Washington socialites who do their shopping there) is the full package. Vital Vittles is more convenient, but nothing can match Safeway’s incredible selection and prices. Our advice? Get a Club Card.

Best Corp service: Vital Vittles

Best neighbor to hate: Stephen Brown

Last year, nothing caused as much of a stir as www.drunkengeorgetownstudents.com. Angry Burleith resident Stephen Brown, apparently vexed by the noise undergraduates made while reveling late at night in his neighborhood, created the website in an attempt to drum up negative publicity about—you guessed it—drunk Georgetown students.

A former professional photographer and American University professor, Brown’s site featured creepy, stalkeresque pictures of Georgetown students drinking in Burleith (later blurred at the request of his web host), as well as enraged invectives about the horrors of living next to college students. He even included the addresses of several students whom he had photographed. Several local news outlets picked up the story, most sympathizing with Brown, and eventually, so did the Washington Post.

Maybe Brown hoped the publicity would change Georgetown’s storied drinking culture, or at least force the University to house more students on campus. But from sweaty Burleith techno ragers to Village A rooftop keggers, Georgetown students’ penchant for getting plastered lives on. What did Mr. Brown expect? Camera or no camera, college kids are going to drink.

y

Safewa

leisure

10 the georgetown voice

august 27, 2010

20 years later, East German artists break through

by Leigh Finnegan

A pair of inviting hands extends from a body, perched above a disordered sea of line and color. Close by, a man falls backwards, plunging downwards towards certain demise.

The painting’s title, “Warm Welcome,” is both appropriate and ironic. The hands and the man, coupled with the chaotic, cool-hued brushstrokes and zig-zags of neon paint, convey distrust in the comfort the arms offer. To today’s American student, the arms could represent entering adulthood or leaving home.

To painter Inge H. Schmidt, the artist behind “Warm Welcome,” it was basic freedom of expression.

Schmidt is one of 10 artists featured in a new exhibition by the Breakthrough Art Organization, a nonprofit founded in 2009 by Jeff Thines. Thines moved to Germany

lez’hur ledger

in the early 1990s, and during his time there he met numerous artists who had spent their formative years behind the Iron Curtain. “[These artists] did not want to conform to the dominant socialist ideology, and had to take great risks to paint or sculpt or take photographs of what they wanted,” Thines said.

With this year marking the 20th anniversary of German unification, Thines started Breakthrough with partial funding from the German government and Georgetown’s Center for German and European Studies to illustrate what happens when artists are deprived of basic American freedoms. The exhibition is a five-city tour, which lands in D.C.’s Edison Place Gallery this September.

For a week of each month-long installment, the artists visit the exhibit to discuss the themes of oppression

and Cold War-era fear that characterize all the works in the show.

The collection’s seven painters, two photographers, and one sculptor each make a distinct contributions. Through a variety of perspectives, this exhibit forcefully illustrates life under the German Democratic Republic, both artistically and personally. Gerald Adam Hahn’s haunting photographs of workingclass Germans embody physical and emotional exhaustion, while Hans Schieb’s sculpture “Creep” depicts a nude, bloodied, and freakish man with oversized hands and menacing teeth, marching with a German flag, to signify the inhuman nature of East Germany and its supporters.

Some pieces are more subtle. On first glance, painter Thomas Klingenstein’s “Buddha” has no references to freedom or communism.

But when Klingenstien told his story

In socialist Germany, coffee drinks you. in Nashville, he revealed the connection: his interest in Asian culture pegged him as an ideological enemy of the state and prohibited him from pursuing his curiosity.

“You [could] see the wonderment in people’s eyes, that the system was so pervasive,” Thines said of the discussion.

In a film on Breakthrough’s web-

Gerald adam hahn

site, the artists discuss the experiences that both fostered and suppressed their artistic achievements.

“If I choose to be an artist, then I choose to live and think freely,” Schmidt says. It is a freedom that Americans are accustomed to, and whose value Breakthrough challenges its audience to consider more carefully.

A whole lotta pasta The Dilophosaurus shall rise again

by Brendan Baumgardner

A summer road trip is one of the best ways to appreciate the beauty of our great nation. Long drives down lost highways offer snapshots of the ever-changing landscape—the vast Pine Barrens of New Jersey, the dreary bays of the Maryland coast, and the rolling Appalachian foothills all colored my most recent excursion, an outing to Natural Bridge, Virginia. But on this adventure, I was seeking neither Natural Bridge’s awe-inspiring titular stone bridge, nor its babbling creeks and expansive caverns. I had set my sights higher, on the most majestic of attractions: Dinosaur Kingdom.

Dinosaur Kingdom is an outdoor park in the woods of southern Virginia where lifesized, plaster replicas of Civil War soldiers are portrayed engaging in mortal combat with life-sized, plaster replicas of dinosaurs. Take a moment. Read that again. Civil War soldiers vs. motherfucking dinosaurs.

Now, I hear your cries. “Why would I, a productive member of society want to visit a theme park where dinosaurs and Civil War soldiers forever fight to the death?” you ask. Because it is fantastic. If you still require help in suspending your disbelief, the park was so kind as to provide a back-story. In the war-torn south

of 1863, a family of Southern archaeologists stumbled upon a valley where dinosaurs still roamed free. Unfortunately, those damn Yankees have also discovered the valley and attempted to harness these dinosaurs to use them as, I kid you not, “weapons of mass destruction.”

In what I can only assume is the result of some lingering Southern resentment, all of the Yankees appear horribly deformed. The first boy in blue, for example, has a face like a constipated demon. Although admittedly, it could have been to emphasize the exertion necessary in keeping two raging dilophosauri at bay.

Some of the models were downright silly, and intentionally so, which I feel was a great detriment to the integrity of the park. For example, one scene showed a hungry pack of raptors circling some fearful

woodland critters. In attempt to thwart the raptors, or perhaps scare them off, the critters had stacked on top of one another— from top down: mouse, bunny, deer, cow. This is a load of bull.

Everyone knows how clever raptors are, and that they would never fall for such a ruse.

While the raging T-Rex ripping a Union soldier off of his horse was thrilling, what stays with me most was our celebrity sighting in the park. As we turned a corner, I found myself face to face with President Abraham Lincoln, a large raptor close behind him. There he was, the Great Emancipator himself, being stalked by some of the most vicious hunters this world has ever seen—and he harbored no hatred for them.

Standing there in the woods, I wiped a solitary tear from my eye and said a silent prayer.

God bless the USA.

Chris Heller

That’s preposterous! Everyone knows Lincoln never slept in a tent.

by Matt Kerwin

Carmine’s D.C., the newest location of the New York-based Italian eatery, seats almost 700. That’s more than any other restaurant in D.C., and it was packed at lunch hour this Tuesday. Since there’s nothing particularly adventurous on the menu that could lure such crowds, the number of patrons is surprising. The dishes are all classic pasta, meat, and salads that every Italian restaurant serves. But Carmine’s tradition of great family-style meals clearly got the attention of a few hundred D.C. locals.

There wasn’t a single open table when I arrived, so I sat at the bar and scanned the menu.

The pasta plates offered a choice of noodles with a variety of sauces, such as traditional marinara, vodka, and giardiniera, among others. Ultimately, I decided on a veal cutlet hero. The meal arrived half an hour after I ordered, but when it finally did I was pleasantly surprised. The roll was fresh and crispy and the breaded veal was piled high. And while I appreciated the delicate tomato sauce, the finished product was simpler than I would have liked.

If I was looking for added complexity, maybe I should have ordered the veal cutlet combo hero, served with fried eggplant, prosciutto, and mozzarella.

Most of Carmine’s dishes are for sharing, but even the dishes for one are hefty. My hero could easily have been split between two people. The communal dishes are

part of the Carmine’s effort to recreate the feel of an Italian-American wedding. Entrees on the dinner menu range from $20 to $30, but splitting the cost makes a meal easily affordable. The lunch menu offers smaller dishes, like a chicken cutlet hero and personal pastas.

The mixed green salads are delightful and leave plates of stuffed mushrooms or baked clams.

The décor is reminiscent of Little Italy. Photos of Italian brides and World War II bomber pilots adorn the walls, and speakers play old standards like “The Lady is a Tramp.” The bar sports large HDTVs for patrons who aren’t there for the family dining experience. Unfortunately, the designers also posted the menu, billboardstyle, throughout the restaurant.

These are imposing and distracting. When people eat their meals, it’s not wise to forcibly remind them of other dishes that might have been better.

Carmine’s originally opened in New York City, in 1990, and was successful enough to open another four locations. If the crowd during lunch was any indication, Carmine’s will be replicating that success in D.C. And quibbles with the interior design aside, Carmine’s does offer good food at a reasonable price.

As an added bonus, it’s only a few blocks from the Verizon Center. So skip the soggy nachos and mystery cheese at the next basketball game and get a platter of delicious fried calamari at Carmine’s for the same price instead.

georgetownvoice.com

“They’re coming to get you, Barbara!”—night of the living dead

the georgetown voice 11

Piranha pandemonium Reviews, Haiku’d

by Brendan Baumgardner

Piranha 3D does not suck, and that is already a lot more than most people would ask of it. Of course, as a remake of a ‘70s horror comedy, Piranha 3D lacks any real plot or character development, opting instead to spend 89 minutes reveling in delightfully graphic carnage and terrifyingly large breasts, all presented in gloriously tacky 3D. But it works. This is not a film that is simply “so bad its good.” That implies that something went wrong. This is exactly the kind of schlock that director Alexandre Aja set out to make, and it’s a hell of a lot of fun.

You know the drill. It’s spring break, and thousands of college kids have descended on the resort town of Lake Victoria, Arizona to be dumb and drunk and hot and horny. If there was ever a group that deserved a bit of piranha justice, it’s these kids. Fortunately for us, a geological shift has opened up a long-sealed cave full of vicious prehistoric piranhas in that very lake. Who woulda guessed? Oh right, everyone.

Jaws, the original summer blockbuster that inspired the 1978 Piranha, which in turn inspired Piranha 3D, was famous for its restraint. It built tremendous tension by withholding the shark, offering only glimpses until the big payoff in the film’s final act. It was a risky directorial decision that differentiated the film from earlier horror movies

and went on to set the standard for decades to come. In a similarly bold artistic choice, Aja chooses to show the piranhas at every opportunity.

Piranhas lurk in the background.

Cameras linger on piranha jaws.

Schools of piranhas devour bathers.

If there isn’t a piranha in the shot, it’s probably a one of the film’s many piranha-eye-view shots. The only real exception to this rule is when there are boobs on the screen. They, too, are given ample screen time.

These are the stars of the film, piranhas and breasts. The plot itself quickly becomes irrelevant.

There was something about a porno shoot and an incredibly wooden teen who was apparently the hero of this movie. There were cops, too. Whatever.

This may not be the most resonding endorsement of the merits of Piranha 3D, but it is an endorsement nonetheless. The sensationalized gore and the hyperbolic depictions of youthful revelry

Takers T.I. and Chris Brown Carry guns and knock in heads.

Art imitates life?

The Expendables Sylvester Stallone: You’re a senior citizen, But your abs have abs.

Lottery Tickey Bow Wow won some cash.

Cats try to mess with the dog Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Scott Pilgrim vs. The World MICHAEL CERA AS: Awkward kid with girl issues.

How original.

Inception “BEST MOVIE EVER!” “So you understood the point?” “... That’s irrelevant.”

Predators Adrien Brody, You gotta get your weight up.

You ain’t no Arnold.

One fish, two fish, dead fish, cruel fish.

Getting dressed to impress This Wednesday, dear freshmen, will be your first day of college classes ever. Totally exciting, I know. Aside from athletes and legacies (kidding!), it’s assumed that you all have the SAT scores, experience with leadershiporiented extracurriculars, the intellectual vigor to thrive during the four years of challenging academics that await.

You jumped through the right hoops, and you made it. Congratulations.

Before you assume your place on this shining Hilltop, however, you’ve got to learn to dress the part.

Some things you will no doubt figure out on your own.

For example, Georgetown’s old cobblestone walkways will

are all plainly tongue-in-cheek, all playing to fans of classic B-movies. It’s not unlike last summer’s Drag Me to Hell—a big(ish) budget blockbuster with indie horror sensibilities. That the supporting cast consists largely of comedic actors (Paul Scheer, Adam Scott) and stunt cameos (Christopher Lloyd, Richard Dreyfuss, Eli Roth) speaks to this playfulness. They all bring something fun to the screen, but I’ll be damned if you remember a single one of their characters’ names when you leave the theater.

By next summer this film will have been all but forgotten. It’s just the way this kind of film works— it’s not like you hear people talking about Snakes on a Plane anymore.

But it was made in the spirit of fun, and if you let yourself get swept up, Piranha 3D is a sickly sweet guilty pleasure. And at the very least, as you return to Georgetown you can take pleasure in the fact that you saw dozens of frat types get eaten.

ruin your Jimmy Choos and leave you sporting a Tiny Tim on your next night out. While everybody wants to look good, odds are that you and your freshman herd will be doing a lot of walking this year. Try to keep it practical.

Once you actually get to class, a few judgemental glances from classmates will clue you in that your obnoxiously smelly Rainbows are best left for the beach. And when no one on the basketball team makes friends with you, you’ll learn not to wear sweatshirts from schools other than Georgetown. However, some freshman fashion faux pas require special attention.

Take it from Jerry Seinfeld: sweatpants are meant for the

iFC.COm

gym. Worn elsewhere, they send a clear signal: “I give up, I can’t compete in normal society, I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.” Well said, Jerry!

Showing up for class like you just rolled out of bed (even if you did) tells others you value those 50-grand-a-year class-

suffer for Fashion

by Keenan Sheridan Timko a bi-weekly column about fashion es so little that you can’t even throw on a pair of jeans.

Now a flashy pair of zebrastriped Zubaz, on the other hand, are perfectly acceptable.

I think we can all agree that Zubaz are the tuxedo of the sweatpants world.

Before you get too carried away with the zebra print,

—Leigh Finnegan, Brendan Baumgardner, and Chris Heller

however, something that never slides at college is dressing like Snooki – the huge hoops, micro-miniskirts and cut-toolow tops are all pretty awful.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, Georgetown’s got so many kids from Jersey because they want to get away from Jersey Shore. And why would you want to dress yourself like the butt of every bad pop culture joke of the last year?

In the same vein, gents, try not to sport baseball hats in class and avoid Ed Hardy like the plague. While you’re usually allowed to wear that Mets hat in Macro, and the Holy See will not send you to the Inquisition for wearing a black ribbed tank-top in Problem of God, its just inconsiderate and will make a bad impression on your classmates. And the dragon fighting the lion on

your fitted t-shirt isn’t as cool as you think.

But you knew all that didn’t you? After all, you just wore that Nova sweatshirt for the car ride down, and it won’t see the light of day once you arrive on campus.

In a short while, you’ll be spending long nights studying in the stacks at Lau, and even longer nights tripping over those pesky uneven brick sidewalks on your stumbling walks back from Tuscany. The next morning you’ll roll over, drag yourself Leo’s, and do it all again the next weekend.

In other words, you’ll be just like us, true blue-blooded Georgetown students.

Want more? Ask Keenan about your Ugg boots and denim shorts at ktimko@georgetownvoice.com

leisure

12 the georgetown voice

august 27, 2010

C r i t i c a l V o i ces

Ra Ra Riot, The Orchard, Barsuk Records Nobody ever cuts poor Ra Ra Riot a break. Although only four years old, the band has already been signed and subsequently parted ways with their label, V2 Records, and suffered through the mysterious death of drummer John Pike in 2007.

While their second release, The Orchard, is certainly a testament to the band’s toughness, musically, it falls flat.

Ra Ra Riot plays a brand of rustic indie rock in the vein of Fleetwood Mac or Paul Simon.

It is obvious that the band members have been heavily influenced by friends and tour mates Death Cab for Cutie and Vampire Weekend, both of which lend members as guest producers on The Orchard.

The record offers ten mellow,

folksy tracks that are enhanced by the band’s small string section. But despite its modest 40 minute playing time, the record drags. Most of the songs are mid-tempo and similar in structure, and the album suffers from a lack of variety.

When the band shakes things up with female vocals, compliments of Alexandra Lawn, on “You and I Know” and “Shadowcasting,” however, the music flourishes, and we catch a glimpse of the band’s potential. The strings and guitars diminish into a twinkling echo as the vocals soar into reverb-drenched ethereality.

Unfortunately, most of the record lacks originality. It tends to waver between Appalachiantinged indie jams that sound like watered-down Fleet Foxes or My Morning Jacket, and a quirky college-rock band like Local Natives.

A safe record without any real risks, The Orchard is sure to see some success. And aesthetically, there is hope for Ra Ra Riot. There are moments when the band shows promise, utilizing their string section to back lush choruses on tracks like “Do You Remember,” giving a distinct nod to Revolver-era Beatles. If Ra Ra Riot wants to break out of indie-rock mediocrity, though, it needs to step out of the shadow of its peers, take

Over 100 million doorstops sold Stephen King has called him “a terrible writer.” Patrick Anderson of Washington Post thinks he is the “absolute pits, the lowest common denominator of cynical, skuzzy, assembly-line writing.”

But his name is on the cover of one out of every 17 novels purchased in the United States, and he topped Forbes’s list of this year’s highest-paid authors worldwide, racking in an astounding $70 million. His name is James Patterson, and he’s even outselling that vampire romance bullshit.

For a man who sold 10,000 copies of his first novel, The Thomas Berryman Number, in 1976, it is somewhat befuddling to learn just how fat his wallet is. Of course, the trick isn’t in the writing—and whether you’re a critic of Patterson for bastardiz-

ing the publishing industry and literature in general, or one of the millions sitting on a beach towel somewhere engrossed in simpleminded and unimaginative plot twists, you can’t deny that he’s at least marketing himself well.

That makes sense. Before becoming a blockbuster novelist, James Patterson had a six-year run as chairman of the J. Walter Thompson advertising agency in North America. Since his career change, he has often made marketing decisions that his publisher Little, Brown & Company thought were foolish, but they seem to have learned by now that Patterson knows how to sell himself.

When they second-guessed his decision to run a television advertisement for 1993’s Along Came a Spider, he went ahead and did it

risks, and convince its audience that the band’s music is just as exciting as its dramatic history.

Voice’s Choices: “You and I Know,” “Shadowcasting,” “Do You Remember” —Matthew Decker

The Sword, Warp Riders, Pytheas Recordings Since their 2003 debut, Age of Winters, The Sword has gained a reputation as the loudest band in Austin, Texas, and with its new sci-fi concept album Warp Riders the band reminds its fans why it earned that reputation.

Most people who know of The Sword know that they toured in support of Metallica, and that the Guitar Hero video game series includes songs from their catalogue. They received anyway. Five million copies later, it is his best selling novel to date.

The difference between Patterson and writers deemed literarily and culturally significant is that Patterson writes for his readers. To garner a market that large, an author really does have to write for the lowest common denominator

literary Tools

by James McGrory

a bi-weekly column about literature of novel consumers, appealing to our natural barbaric instincts.

Short and simple sentences fill the short and simple chapters with what millions of people apparently find interesting: violence, some of it sexual (Kiss the Girls has a villain who rapes and tortures college girls, at one point putting a live snake into the anus of a victim), romance, and predictable

pothead publication High Times’ prestigious Doobie Award for Best Metal Artist in 2009 which is fitting, given that the most common metal subgenre used to describe The Sword is “stoner metal.”

In addition to their weedrelated genre classification, The Sword’s musical style has been described as “retro metal” and “heritage metal,” with a few elements of “sludge metal” added for good measure. Some more fundamentalist metal fans may jeeringly label them “hipster metal” due to their sound’s vintage elements and the band’s commercial success among nonmetal fans. But despite the mess of subgenre titles they claim, the rolling chords and Ozzy-like vocals mainly point to Black Sabbath as a primary influence.

Warp Riders follows the twopart story of a hunter named Ereth, who was banished from his home planet of Archeron, a celestial body that has just stopped spinning, leaving one side to burn under multiple suns while the other freezes.

Ereth meets the Chronomancer, who enlists him in a quest to restore the planet’s balance. It’s the stuff of Tolkien—certainly an album to geek-out over if you’ll let yourself. cliffhangers designed to keep you on the edge of your airplane seat.

As he explained in a Time magazine interview, Patterson considers himself a good story-teller, not a noteworthy prose stylist. At the same time, he claims he has the power to save a community from illiteracy by showing them how fun it can be to read.

With his young adult series Maximum Ride (written by Patterson and uncredited co-writer Gabrielle Charbonnet), he had hoped to get children interested in reading by telling them stories about a group of teenage humanavian hybrids on the run from the scientists who made them, as if, at the heart of the issue, reading anything is better than not reading at all. Judging by the empty prose of his adult works, it would follow that his young adult readers will not graduate on to worthwhile literature but instead stick

Melody abounds on plenty of tracks, such as “Lawless Lands” and “Night City.” The tracks are heavily riff-based, with a pace that’s pure hardrock. The titular track, though, draws on Southern rock. As for the metal genre’s signiture solos, they’re impressive, but not so long or frequent that they become boring.

Despite the blazing guitars throughout the riff-heavy album, The Sword’s greatest weakness remains its vocals. The band’s vocalist, lyricist, and rhythm guitarist J.D. Cronise’s voice has improved over the past two albums, but it still often lacks the energy necessary to carry its songs. On a science-fiction concept album, he really should have upped the drama.

While a solid release, this is not a future classic by any means.

Anyone who enjoys some fun guitar solos should hear this, but for a concept album that had two parts designated for different chapters of the story, its storytelling is surprisingly weak.

Despite The Sword’s grand ambition, Warp Riders is decidedly less than epic.

Voice’s Choices: “Lawless Lands,” “Warp Riders” —Nico Dodd with Patterson’s brand of mindnumbing entertainment.

Television viewers who cut their teeth on Laguna Beach are not likely to watch The History Channel or Discovery years later, and simply because Patterson is using the same medium as intellectuals like James Joyce and William Faulkner, it doesn’t mean that he’s doing anyone a favor.

He has, on the other hand, proven yet again that the majority of contemporary culture craves brainless entertainment. While he’d like you to say he’s put books into more hands, all you can really credit him with is helping propel the degradation of another medium of art and perpetuating the mass-market mindset where profit trumps product.

Volunteer to be Jim’s personal ghost writer at jmcgrory@georgetownvoice.com

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fiction

the georgetown voice 13

I, Clodia

by Anastasia Baran

“ O

nce upon a time, we were young and ardent and that one organ in my cavernous chest pumped in time with yours. Your parents had named you Markus and when your lips parted to whisper in the close dark nights you always called me Clodia. At night you were sweet and slow and second-guessed every move you made. And I always laugh when I think of that self-conscious side of you, Markus, because when the sun rose in the sky you woke fiery and impassioned. A revolutionary mind and an inescapable charisma took over at day. That was the Markus I fell in love with as an impressionable young girl, the one who personally took into his own hands the task of changing the world. But you could only love me at night while the man I loved hid away. In the brilliant beams of day, Markus was a man to be loved by all and he could not waste a moment of his precious time dallying with a fool named Clodia.

I supported The Cause and rebelled against The System, anything to gain the love of that incendiary, irresistible Markus.

I burned buildings and walled myself up using the scorched rubble so that I did not resemble myself as I had been, as that fool named Clodia. One night the new Clodia stood naked in Markus’s gaze and he could not recognize her anymore. He cried out, tears staining his cheeks, leaving gleaming trails illuminated by the moon light: What have you done?! Staring at my pale body dappled with bruises and burns, I, Clodia, had no answer to give but this: I traded your love for that of a greater man who would not have me as I was. I changed by day and did not have the forethought or ability to leave behind a lunar doppelgänger as Markus had done.

After that, you could not even love me at night and I learned about heartache. My wretched and wailing heart was pained every moment of every day. To see your face on the news, or worse, in person, was

I could not live in a world where I was not worthy of his love, and now he can’t love anybody more than me.

a slow and searing death from which I could not really die, no matter how much I wished it so. In time, I came to understand that the only way to soothe my burned heart was to bring you pain, in any way possible.

I seduced your disciples and left them as shriveled, disillusioned shells of what they had been, all their genius lost in a haze of psychological trauma and tears. Your Cause? I started riots at your peaceful sitins; the blood on my hands was a balm for my dejected soul. Now, to see your face on the news, tearstained in the brilliant beams of day, weak and tired, your body shaking as you held the shattered corpse of your promising protégé, your lovely and leonine lover Leona, was like a rebirth. Your System?

I fed it with all the fires of my being. I lobbied for laws that broke your resistance in two. I campaigned for men so foul and corrupt that I shudder to think of it; they polluted your beautiful Earth with smoke and fog, they laughed at your notions of equality, they turned our world on its head and I helped them do it, spine tingling with glee at your pale, drawn face plastered on the papers.

I remember that night you stood utterly defeated on my doorstep, your limbs twisted from the multiple breaks I paid reckless drunkards to administer in the riot years. My sick, black heart, which till then I’d persuaded myself was healed, jumped erratically. The years had been far kinder to me, but my beautiful exterior could not hide the wretched soul which lurked within. Your eyes were impossibly dark, reflecting back at me the way in which the night clung to my person. In your sweet, simple voice, the only one left to you these days, you once again asked me: What have you done?!

Listening to the painful, rattling breaths you took then I had only one answer to give: Once upon a time we were young and ardent and I lived for the love of a strong, beautiful man named Markus. But, at night you were the one left to love Clodia, while

”

that man hid away from a foolish girl who was nothing like him or his lioness Leona.

That Markus broke my heart, so I killed him and left his wheezing, weakling doppelgänger behind. All I had done arose from that one lesson I had learned from the captivating Markus who breathed fire in the daylight: How to take the world into my hands and mold it into what I wished it to be. I could not live in a world where I was not worthy of his love, and now he can’t love anybody more than me.

Then you laughed, or coughed, or wept (I couldn’t really tell) and put a gun to your head. Before pulling the trigger you gave me the saddest smile I’ve ever seen and said: Once upon a time I loved you as much as I loved my Cause but was too terrified to show my enemies that, afraid they would take you from me in quite the same manner as you dealt with Leona. So, as you said, I could only love you at night, when no one was watching.

And you internalized it all and burnt the things I loved most…hell, you would burn the world, Firestarter. So then I could never love you again. Now there is no one left in this forsaken, polluted, wretched world who could, would, or ever did love you. Burn in your fires, Clodia, you fool. There were bits of blood and brain on my face that mixed with my tears as the coroners zipped up the bag with your withered body. There was nothing I, Clodia could do but obey, chaining myself to the bed and smoking my last cigarette, enjoying the slow burn of vodka sliding down my throat before igniting the wet sheets and screaming into the empty night: I promise to burn for you forever.

If you’d like to submit original short stories or poetry to the Voice’s fiction section, please e-mail jpm247@georgetown.edu

voices

14 the georgetown voice

august 27, 2010

Freshman again: The trials of a transfer student

by Chris Heller Think about how you felt when you first moved to college.

Think about all of your anxieties, hopes, and expectations. Think about how you thought it would be perfect.

Now imagine you hated it and left.

That’s what it’s like to be a transfer student at a new school.

I spent most of my freshman year at American University in my room, splitting time between video games, Scrubs, and The Office.

When I did leave my room, it was almost always to spend time with my then girlfriend, who struggled with many of the same problems that I did. When February rolled around, I realized I had few friends and even fewer fond memories of college. I needed to leave.

By transferring to Georgetown, I had a chance to start over. I told myself that I had an advantage—my past mistakes were now avoidable. Before

I came in August, I thought I had it all figured out. However, starting over was harder than I expected.

After settling into my dorm, I met my all-transfer orientation group. We shared stories about our old colleges during “break the ice” activities. I was surprised to learn that our group was comprised of students with a wide variety of backgrounds, spanning from community colleges to the Ivy League. But as others described how they ended up at Georgetown, few of which were as pathetic as mine, I struggled to explain myself. I didn’t want to tell them that my freshman year left me broken or that I was terrified about repeating my mistakes. So, I lied.

When I met strangers those first few days, I told them that I left for “academic reasons.” I’d laugh, telling them that I studied International Affairs, but left to get a “well-rounded, liberal arts education.” I needed to be challenged, I’d say with an air of sat-

isfaction in my voice. In short, I was an ass.

As orientation continued, I loosened up. I went on a boat ride on the Potomac River with other transfers, where I was a bit more honest with others about my first year of college.

But I still left out the parts about my loneliness and depression.

“

at Georgetown were meant to dredge up something humiliating. Truth is, I was just a lonely, lame teenager; there was no deep, dark explanation.

Filing into McDonough— scratchy robe and all—at the end of the orientation weekend, I still felt tentative about George-

By transferring to Georgetown, I had a chance to start over.

Looking back, it seems obvious that I was embarrassed to be a transfer student. I felt that leaving one school for another was a sign of defeat; I didn’t want to admit that I had made a serious mistake. I associated it with a stigma that made me feel second-rate.

It took me months to shake that nonsense. When I met others, I assumed that any questions about my freshman year

”

town. I still hadn’t revealed why I left AU, and I was awfully tempted to skip the rest of orientation to be alone. Thankfully, I didn’t. Over the next few days, I tried my damnedest to avoid the mistakes I made the first time around. I stayed out of my room. I fought the urge to feel sorry for myself. I even joined a club or two along the way. Without realizing it, I began to settle into life at Georgetown.

Months later, I was in the Shenandoah Valley, training to be an Outdoor Education trip leader. As I hiked in the darkness with a dozen others, I began to tell a friend how I ended up at Georgetown. In that moment, in the frigid wind at two in the morning, miles away from Washington, I was honest.

“I transferred because I hated who I was, where I was, and how it all happened.”

I never lied about it again.

When Convocation starts on Friday, a few thousand people will shuffle into McDonough Gym. A few will wear robes.

Many will wear itchy gowns.

But for some, it will seem vaguely familiar.

Convocation isn’t just a start for them. It’s a second chance.

Chris Heller is a senior in the College. Due to his man crush on Zach Braff, he still laments the cancellation of Scrubs.

Going from ghastly to gourmet at Leo O’Donovan Hall

by Keaton Hoffman Many freshmen find the dining hall experience is a source of anxiety that frustrates smooth transitions to college life. Here at Georgetown, that anxiety manifests itself in a single institution: the Leo J. O’Donovan Dining Hall. Upon arriving, most freshmen flock to Leo’s with family in tow, nervous about the quality and diversity of the food available.

For me at least, that first meal

was delicious. Unfortunately, the more encounters I had with Leo’s, the worse my experience became. What at first seemed to be a cornucopia of choices quickly became mundane, and after two weeks, the griping and complaining set in. So to keep Leo’s from turning into a gastronomic nightmare, I decided to get creative and play Top Chef at Leo’s.

For breakfast, nothing cures my Georgetown-sized hangover better than a delicious fruit parfait. I pick a yo-

GIRL.COM.AU

A Leo’s Nicoise contains tuna, eggs, green beans, and, once in a while, hair.

gurt, slice up a banana, add my favorite cereal for texture to enjoy a breakfast that’s healthy and easy on my stomach. I don’t waste my money on breakfast sandwiches at Starbucks or Subway, either—I make my own. I use a bagel, croissant, or biscuit, fill it with eggs, bacon, sausage, and cheese, and heat it up in the panini press. As no breakfast is complete without coffee, I’ve discovered ways to make all of my favorite caffeinated beverages at Leo’s. With a little bit of creativity and flexibility I make milk teas, iced coffee, and even mochas, all in the confines of Leo’s seemingly minimal beverage selection.

At lunch, I don’t settle for the wrap of the day (which I got sick of by week three), I create my own. I ask for a tortilla, fill it with my favorite veggies from the salad bar, add a protein—I especially like to use chicken fingers or hardboiled eggs—and top it off with my favorite dressing.

When I’m craving something hot, nachos are an easy solution—made with chips from the salad bar or the Mexican food station and cheese, then microwaved until the cheese melts. I top it off with sour cream, guacamole, and jalapeños for a taste from south of the border. Sometimes, I’ll go

with a lunch staple and make a sandwich. This one may seem like a no-brainer, but I realized that there’s much more to create when I’m not afraid to think out of the box. For a more refined sandwich, I get two slices of Jewish Rye and put them through the toaster.

Next I add a layer of spinach or arugula from the salad bar.

Instead of using lunch meat, I fill my sandwich with grilled chicken from the Bistro on the first floor. Then I top it off with olive oil and vinegar and zap my creation for 25 seconds to complete a delectable Leo’s masterpiece.

Unfortunately, the “meat section” rarely satiates my end-of-the-day craving for a hearty meal, so again, I get creative. Instead of settling for a bowl of pesto pasta, I get some protein by adding shrimp from the stir-fry. When I crave pizza, I try to vary from your run-of-the-mill pepperoni pie.

Instead of using marinara as a sauce, I switch things up with alfredo or pesto, both available upstairs in the pasta section.

To venture away from simply adding onions or mushrooms, I put on some zucchini or broccoli florets. To enhance the flavor of the mozzarella, I supplement it with Parmesan and provolone for a more complex pizza topping.

After I’ve enjoyed my restaurant-worthy creation, the fun continues with dessert.

Whatever I’m craving, the microwave is my friend. Cookies take 20 seconds, cakes and pies take 30. For an American classic, I get apple pie, top it with nutmeg and cinnamon, which are available upstairs by the sweet potatoes, heat it in the microwave, and top it with ice cream for a deconstructed take on an Apple Pan Dowdy.

I can also turn a boring chocolate cake into a lava cake by scraping off the frosting, adding chocolate syrup, and heating in the microwave until the cake is nice and gooey. And for a summer favorite, an ice cream float never disappoints.

Though I don’t have any formal culinary training, I do have a bold attitude when it comes to food. Much like Edison, I had to do a lot of experimentation before I found something great and I had a bunch of catastrophes along the way—fish tacos ... bad idea. Nevertheless, food is an art, and it is possible to make Leo’s your canvas.

Keaton Hoffman is a sophomore in the SFS. His biggest food inspiration is Rachel Ray, who certainly knows how to heat up the kitchen.

voices

georgetownvoice.com

the georgetown voice

15

Another conservative disgraced by talk on race

by Charlie Caris The frenzy surrounding Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s repeated use of the N-word on August 10 during her nationally syndicated radio show highlights the national media’s obsession with race and eagerness to label conservatives as racists. If you’re not familiar with the incident, which took place during Schlessinger’s normal routine of giving personal advice to listeners calling in to her conservative-slanted show, Schlessinger’s rant began when Jade, a black woman, called in and talked about being uncomfortable when her white husband’s white friends and family say things in front of her that she finds racist.

After Schlessinger answered that Jade may be a little hypersensitive, Jade responded that her husband’s friends have even thrown the N-word around in conversation. Schlessinger argued that black comedians on HBO say the N-word all the time, implying that white people shouldn’t automatically be barred from using the term. From that point on, the dialogue turned heated, with Schlessinger repeatedly saying the N-word, and Jade becoming audibly upset.

The next day on her program, Schlessinger said her actions were wrong and that she shouldn’t have

said the N-word on the air. The apology came too late, however, as the on-air rant quickly gained national media notoriety and comments from the likes of Reverend Al Sharpton and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

As a fan of The Dr. Laura Program for years, this controversy comes as no surprise to me. When responding to her distressed callers, Schlessinger is typically firm, unapologetic, and often offensive. It’s not rare for her to leave a caller in tears after giving some tough advice.

Often the difference between what will comfort a patient and what will actually solve his or her problem is vast. With that in mind, the point of Schlessinger’s argument becomes clear: she was attempting to illustrate the racial double standard in the usage of the N-word.

At one point during the conversation, for example, Schlessinger said, “Oh, I see. So, a word is restricted to race. Got it. Can’t do much about that.” Her point was that if it isn’t taboo for a mainstream black comedian to use the N-word in his monologue, it shouldn’t be off limits for a white person to simply utter the word. It all depends on the context in which the word was used. I am not in the habit of using the N-word and I suspect Schlessinger doesn’t casually use it either. But I do think that there

should be an inoffensive context for Schlessinger and others to use the word to illustrate a point, and

MARC FICHERA

No wonder she’s smiling, Dr. Laura’s been getting a lot of publicity lately. that that context shouldn’t be dictated by their racial background.

That said, I think Schlessinger could have made an equally lucid point without using the N-word at all. It’s not worth using a word with such a racially charged history in or-

Sperm: It’s all about the potency, baby What am I worth? This is a question that is difficult for almost anyone to answer off the cuff. If you want to answer that question in its literal sense, you might calculate the net value of your expected lifetime earnings or assets. But anyone who’s not an investment banker knows that worth is based on more than dollars and cents. So how do you calculate the value of a person?

How about the value of the children you can have based solely on your genetic makeup?

More specifically, what is the value of one’s sperm? This notion occurred to me last month while I was watching The Kids are All Right, a film about a lesbian couple whose children seek out their sperm donor dad.

After watching Annette Ben-

ning and Julianne Moore navigate their marriage and bond with Mark Ruffalo, I began to think more about the realities of sperm donation and what makes someone a good sperm donor. What is it that makes someone want to have babies with your genetic material?

It’s not necessarily what you’d think. Physical appearance isn’t everything, although most potential mothers can browse donors’ entire physical curriculum vitae before selecting their matches. I learned that sperm banks prefer young donors, particularly collegeaged ones. If you were to make a donation, almost all banks would give you an extensive questionnaire and run a check on your family history for infectious diseases, HIV, blood

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der to make a point to someone asking for advice about her marriage.

Schlessinger could have made her

types—basically anything that they can use to predict the health of your potential children. One’s sperm must also be “bankable,” or be able to be frozen and stored easily without eliminating their viability.

This isn’t as easy as you might think. Cryos—a large sperm bank in Denmark, where sperm

Carrying On

by George D’Angelo A rotating column by Voice senior staffers

banking is a quite a big industry—only accepts about eight to 10 percent of would-be donors.

So, once a donor passes all of the tests and is certified as disease-free, how do they separate the boys from the men?

This is where it gets interesting.

The scarce data on what makes a donor desirable suggests that height and intelligence are big gets. In browsing the donors section on Cryos’s web site (you can shop for a donor online, in the literal sense of the

point to Jade about hypersensitivity about racism without jumping straight to the N-word. Typically, Schlessinger avoids this sort of word choice, but in light of her decision to end her radio career as a result of this controversy, it wasn’t a typical

word, much like you would browse an online dating web site), I found that for the New York City metropolitan area, only one out of 39 donors was under 5 feet 7 inches, and many were above 6 feet tall. You can even view photographs of the donors from when they were children, although that seems more creepy than useful.

As for shopping for intellect, women seeking a sperm donor can browse in-depth fact sheets from each donor, with information about the percentile each donor occupied in high school and college, how many years they’ve been in school, and if they are scientifically- or artistically-minded. Their occupations are also listed; the Cryos listings for New York City included occupations that ranged from traffic surveyor to investment banker. Parts of the survey even suggest that potential mothers might be looking to control for personality. There’s a section about personal characteristics on the questionnaire, with questions like “Did you play sports as a child?” and “What musical instruments do/did you play?”

day for her. After years of defending herself to critics who decry her as a racist, sexist, and homophobic, she’s finally had enough.

It’s very easy to take sound bites and misconstrue what the speaker is actually trying to say, particularly when that person has been speaking five days a week for three hours at a time for more than twenty years. What is much more difficult is to approach her advice and arguments with an open mind and a critical eye, examining her rationale as a whole.

It is sad to me that someone as passionate and influential as Schlessinger feels she needs to end her radio show not because of an idea, but because of a word to which she gave no derogatory meaning.

She didn’t say anything racist and didn’t call anyone the N-word, but simply because she said the word she brought about a firestorm. I hope that whether or not Schlessinger offended you, you can still appreciate her argument against hypersensitivity about racism and her directness in approaching her callers’ problems.

Charlie Caris is a sophomore in the College. Besides Dr. Laura, his other favorite doctor is the acclaimed physician, Dr. Dre.

Donors also have to undergo a psychological evaluation given by the sperm bank.

From all this, what is a donation of sperm from a “good donor” worth? That really gets us to the question of what makes a good donor, and as I said before, it’s not what you’d think. Despite the extensive menu that potential mothers can browse through in search of a donor with the desirable height, smarts, and personality, what brings in top dollar from these moms is the fertility level of one’s donation. This makes sense, considering that the average rate for successfully conceiving with donated sperm is less than 20 percent. In the end, sperm donation is even less glamorous than genetic mate-shopping seems at first. In the end, it all comes down to whether or not your material get somebody pregnant.

George D’Angelo is a junior in the MSB. He wants to be a father someday— that is assuming that someone ever picks his profile.

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