Redemption Songs

writing by residents of the Cyndi Taylor Krier Juvenile Correctional Treatment Center in partnership with Gemini Ink’s Writers in Communities Program Summer 2008

Won’t you help me sing?

writing by residents of the Cyndi Taylor Krier Juvenile Correctional Treatment Center in partnership with Gemini Ink’s Writers in Communities Program Writers-in-Residence: Grisel Acosta Xelena González Ignacio Magaloni Illustrations: Mark Lopez Funded by: Ford Salute to Education • Verizon Communications Editing, Layout and Design: Adriana Sánchez Alexander Executive Artistic Director, Gemini Ink: Rosemary Catacalos Special Projects Coordinator, Krier Center: Glenn Faulk Writers in Communities Director, Gemini Ink: Adriana Sánchez Alexander

© 2008 Gemini Ink

Writer-in-Residence: Grisel Acosta

Five days was not enough time with the delightful students I had the honor of meeting at the Cyndi Taylor Krier Juvenile Correctional Treatment Center. On the first day we met, I planned on introducing myself by sharing a bit of my life and reading/performing some of my work. However, I had no intention of having this be a one-way deal. I wanted the students to know that they were welcome to share any work they had already written, too. The enthusiasm was overwhelming. Several students recited poems and/or raps from memory, one student read a chapter from her memoir, another student performed one of her original songs. Every student had something to share and despite the jitters that we all get when sharing our work, they performed like professionals and shared deeply intimate writing. I was impressed and excited to get the workshop going.

The work over the next few days made that thought into a permanent message inside my brain and heart. All of the students wrote and listened to each other’s work in ways that could teach professional writers a thing or two. They did not tear each other apart or make anyone feel bad for struggling with this or that subject. They simply shared their ideas, asked questions and pointed out what was done well or what stood out in a piece.

Every student was honest, hardworking, original, and insightful.

I hope you, the reader, can read these works and get a glimpse of what I mean. These students inspire me and I hope that they continue on the path of writing. It is a gift that has given back to me exponentially and I know it can do the same for these young adults.

I can’t wait to see what they do with it—please keep in touch! I say to them, “Don’t stop believing in your talent and value, no matter what you must fight against. Be curious, honest, fair and humble, and every now and then, when you’ve worked really hard and done a good job, remember to ego-trip!”

- Grisel Acosta, Writer-in-Residence June 2008

Bottoms Up It’s been a year and eleven months that I haven’t had a drink, but with a cup of Kool-Aid that’s watery in my hand, I would like to make a toast: First, a toast to my life and the good things I’ve done.

A toast to my childhood memories and having fun.

A toast to my two brothers and uncles that rest in peace.

A toast to my father, who I have never seen.

A toast to my money and all the things I got.

A toast to my boys that didn’t get caught.

A toast to my dead friends that are not here.

A toast to the ones that rather be feared.

A toast to my mother, for she’s almost gone.

A toast to Amazing Grace, for she was lost and now she’s found.

A toast to Cuba and all the beautiful women.

A toast to Mother Nature and all her children.

A toast to freedom, for it’s only in our heart, something that they can’t lock away or tear apart.

A toast to school and the teachers who teach.

A toast to the oxygen that helps us breathe.

A toast to God and creating the light.

A toast to the ones who don’t give up without a fight.

A toast to love for everyone in the room, and a toast to us for we will soon bloom.

Bottoms up...

by Jonathan P.

Broken Families To a world of broken families, we shall toast.

To the drug abusing mother who is soon to be reborn.

To the father who is only seventeen, who seventeen years later has his child at his front gate.

To the child who is hurting and longing for her parents to come and save her.

To the parent who suffers from cancer.

To the daughter who wants to question, who wants an answer, who wants to be taken seriously.

by Shaniece P.

1

A Toast A toast to all the evil, hateful, and sad things in this world, that make me see and realize what good, love, and freedom really are.

by Eden M.

New Day

A Toast A toast to a new life A toast to the devil in heaven doing right A toast to the wings of all angels A toast to the things that are untangled A toast to sin being deceased A toast to a perfect you and me A toast to the cure for AIDS A toast to a breath of everyday A toast to the sun that shines A toast for a love of two to be entwined A toast for peace all over A toast to 110 degrees becoming colder A toast to a perfect match A toast for time to go back A toast to fly like a kite A toast to become a founder of light

Even though I am shy and I can barely write ‘Cause I am in my room at night, I want to make a toast (not food): A toast to my girlfriend that I can’t be with A toast to life that I love living A toast to everybody I love and care about A toast to people’s hearts A toast to people’s families A toast to waking up every morning to a new day A toast to my food that I always eat A toast to my shoes that I wear A toast to my clothes that I look good in A toast to my name that I am blessed with.

by Abel G.

2

by Joseph G.

My Grandpa Ramon loved playing golf Ramon loved Mexican food Ramon worked and loved his job Ramon, a hard drinker Ramon loved everyone he knew Ramon loved his children very much Ramon, a really, really good Grandpa

by Abel G.

Andrew and Big Jon Andrew Big Jon You have saved me many times You have told me not to do crimes Please forgive me for what I’ve done And know that you have won Andrew Big Jon

Real Talk I have the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world. I know that for sure. Like for real, look at me — her mom’s beautiful. Marina has them eyes you would kill for. Them dimples that every girl wants. Her skin complexion is so beautiful. Her five rolls on her legs are so cute, and that double chin is what’s called “a healthy child.” I’m not being conceited, I’m just very confident in my daughter. I know she’s beautiful, and that’s real talk.

I remember all the good times we had You, me and Dad I remember going fishing All I’m doing now is reminiscing Andrew Big Jon I remember we used to fight Now I’m trying to make it right I’m sad you’re going away When you come back I hope you’re here to stay

by Cody C.

by Valerie R.

3

Past Pain for the Best

From the ‘Hood Just because I’m locked up people think I am bad.

That makes me really mad.

I’m actually really good, even though I’m from the ‘hood.

by Destiny P.

Lee

Drifting away to where I want to be singing dancing drawing being happy doing everything that I love going for all or nothing and all of the above giving back to those who gave so much to me succeeding despite the doubt and set my burdens free here I am now all caught up with the law because every time someone tried to help me I threw up a wall young yet my mindset is wiser than my years only because I encountered all my biggest fears very caring and open-minded day by day so ambitious but I had to learn the hard way

everything will be okay soon you will see how every mistake I made built more strength in me I’ll listen to my intuition Never spent one day or year with her birth daughter, and set my standards high But I’m not mad because she didn’t bother. never lose sight of my dreams and always at least try Lee is on her own.

She never had much of a home.

by Cassandra B. I love the way she sags her pants, For she’s kind of butch and acts like a man.

Lee’s her name.

Being my biological mother is her fame.

Some call ‘em crack heads or dope fiends, But she’s my T-Lady, my queen.

She signs “Lee” on the bottom of each letter As she sits in her dark cellar.

I love this woman, here or not, Just knowing she’s my mommy. I will not stop.

by Shaniece P.

4

Harmony Sometimes I wonder why I do the things I do knowing I got a little girl at home about to be two.

First day she was born, I looked straight in her eyes.

I tried to hold up strong, but all I could do is cry.

The first time I held her in my arms I felt so good.

How could I have created someone with a beautiful look?

I would rock her to sleep with her head on my chest.

With her eyes shut closed, she was a beauty at rest.

I love to see her sleep, I love to see her dream.

Love to see her smile so I can see her two front teeth.

I remember when she was in the womb, she would kick my hand.

It’s funny how she feels the presence when something’s gone bad.

She cries when I’m mad, she’s quiet when I’m sad.

She’s happy when I’m glad. I think she knows who’s her dad.

I love to see her laugh, I love to see her play, I love to see a big, beautiful smile on her face.

I love her little feet, I love her little hands.

I love the way she looks a little pudgy when she stands.

I remember her first word, I remember her first step.

I remember I’d lie down and she used to climb on my back.

Over the phone, or when I see her on visitation, she tries so hard to talk and hold a conversation.

That’s daddy’s little angel; she’s my princess.

When she needs someone to talk to, I’ll sit down and listen.

She’s beautiful, funny, and giggles so sweet.

I’ll always have my baby in my heart. Her name is Harmony.

by Jonathan P.

5

Don’t Try Don’t try to call me home You played with my mind and the relationship we had on Truth Don’t try to say you’re sorry because I’m gone I loved you so much but you did me wrong When I was down Now that I’m gone you want me back Homegirls were around I gave you everything and that’s the truth on that Never left you hangin’ because love don’t go like that Now that I am high Everything was good but you stabbed me in the back Homegirls are telling me “bye” You screwed it up for us, you know that’s a fact Don’t try to pull me back when I’m walking past But someone helped me realize So don’t try I ain’t here for no guys

by Ronnie M. I ain’t here for no one else I’m altering who I am because now I can tell Go ahead and check me up Go ahead and hate because I’ve woken up If no one is going to convert this cycle Then I guess it’s time for me to step up I’m already drained From playing all these kids games

New Toasts

I have more things that matter out there And even though life is not fair A toast to the boyfriend who doesn’t do drugs A toast to the man who gives me lots of hugs I do the best that I can do A toast to me because I hardly ever get in trouble To help me get through Another toast to me because I’m an “upper level” A toast to a friend who is always there

by Ruby B. A toast to the counselor who really does care A toast to the soap that is pink and to the feet that don’t stink A toast to Delta 2 A toast to no shoelaces on my shoes A toast to the drugs that I no longer want A toast to me because I’m on top A toast to hygiene in a yellow box and that I get to wear black socks

6

by Destiny P.

You’re Such a Pessimist for Not Believing I’m Very Optimistic She’s got that stuck up first impression, With a cocky voice.

Her posture is nice and straight, Stuck with rich people poses.

With a backless black dress, soaked to the skin, She rapturously thinks she’s way too good for this world.

So she isolates herself.

She’s got the potential to be a leader, But she’d rather stay detached.

Walking on Main Street with her head held high, Talking in clear, proper words, With a purse glued to her hands As she strolls down with her hips swaying.

Rebellion and independence sinks in.

She attempts to forget all the regret and doubt Her conscience dwells on.

She has been living under false pretenses for most of her life.

I guess she just has to let the world know now That she’s got her life under control, As miserable years of abuse connected

to the broken-hearted child locked inside, combined, Equals this ambivalent, burnt-out disaster.

Curious, lonely, and torn completely, She throws off the mask and sees Herself renewed and rejuvenated, Discombobulated, with a hint of mystified thoughts, Alientated from herself, to herself, to become someone else.

She’s no longer unreal.

Looking between the barrier of what lies beneath, She sees she is no longer empty And now she can smile even in her sleep.

Realization sinks in; she does need people to survive, But she knew that.

It’s just the stereotype lies people have set upon her.

Thinking that she’s a pessimist, That she’s so big-headed!

She’s actually very open-hearted.

She’s sympathetic.

She’s completely the opposite of what you think!

by Savannah F.

7

My First Tripp I was born when Zeus’s lightning bolt collided with the stars with my slick wits, I made Mona Lisa smile with my sweet melody, I opened up the heavens with the twinkle in my eyes, I made the Northern Lights with all my beauty, I put the world in a daze when I die, the sun will die as well the Earth will stop spinning Straight Trippin’ and all will bow down in my memory I’m so smart, my IQ is higher than

by Cassandra B. the vast number of stars.

I don’t care what anyone thinks of me cuz in the end, I’ll still be me.

My vocabulary is greater than Webster’s Dictionary.

Facing the Fact always on the ebony end never wanting to be intense always feeling pity for myself pretending that I didn’t want help living my life in sorrow looking forward to the misery in tomorrow I guess you could say I’m a skeptic what’s good, I just can’t accept it

I’m so athletic, I make Tim Duncan look pathetic.

My love is as graceful as a dove flying to the heavens above.

I’m a 360 horsepower engine with a full battery – there ain’t no stoppin’ me!

I’m a computer programmer so great, that Bill Gates hates.

but now I change my ways, for I see the glow in my setting, though I still feel ambiguity but I just need to know how to face reality so I apologize to the ones I had criticized

by Ruby B.

8

by Timothy V.

Beyond Glamorous My hair is imported silk combed and lathered in the blood of a perfectly groomed lamb.

The twinkle in my eyes shares the rays of the sun in the sky.

My voice calms the dead in their sleep and causes the joyous to weep.

The bronze in my skin shines bright even in the darkness of sin.

My style is beyond glamorous.

Its jewels bring me.

BAM! I’m here.

I am in the flesh, never leaving not being the best.

That’s Ego Trippin’ I’m pretty like a flower Cute like a baby Positive like a plus sign Smart like a genius I’m important like the President I’m special in every single way I’m loved like food I’m strong like a strong person I am Destiny And that’s ego trippin’

by Destiny P.

by Shaniece P.

My Trip I am from San Antonio.

I ride a skateboard so fast and I am so good nobody can stop me.

I can do a kickflip 360 degrees off of the Alamodome.

My board is so bad, the cops want it.

People play ball good, but I play ball way better than Michael Jordan.

Man, I’m so bad, I mean real bad.

I am so beautiful, I make the girls look bad.

I play games so well, nerds play like rookies.

I am so short, I make Frodo Baggins look so tall.

I am so soft, a baby’s rear end looks rough.

I am so smart, I make Albert Einstein look dumb.

by Abel G.

9

Ego Tripping living in the perfect world, designed through reality that is consumed with evil climbing the steps to success as if climbing the Rocky Mountains working hard until blisters in my palms sting from sweat the sun hitting my back, heating it as if to be melting into the core of the Earth feeling sick from the disgust of abuse and neglect striving to discover a new way to change but I’m tangled and strangled by the devil running from my problems as if running from a murderer my spine just snapped, trying to lift the world of sin trying my best to win but I’m stepped on and kicked around like a soccer ball searching for love but love seems to have a disease that will kill my life is like a book with no ending chained to the hells like a prisoner with a life sentence I’m investigating life like a detective does a crime

10

my future is never forgotten, like a good memory I try different experiments with life, like a scientist in his lab I’m thinking of ideas beyond the specific chasing a goodness like a predator does his prey

by Joseph G.

My Future Be very smart, never leave my momma’s side, go to the Vatican City and see all the sculptures, paintings, and historic places, I want to see it in front of me, not in a picture, be happy instead of worrying and stressing all the time, I want my voice to be heard not judged.

Sad, confused, shy, waiting to go home, wanting to know myself, blind to the big picture, mad at myself, still not sure why I keep believing in happiness, so impatient to find out.

Never quit, listen to myself, and others, keep moving on, never run away, never let haters interfere with my goals, break the cycle of evil.

by Eden M.

Our Beds Is It Too Late?

Our beds are supposed to be soft and comfortable but they are not. They have no cushions. They are uncomfortable.

half my family has been locked up including me what we have done isn’t right that’s why sometimes I cry at night Being here makes my baby’s everybody looks up to an older brother or caseworker judge me and sister think I am bad. as one of their teachers they see what we do

by Valerie R. and want to do it, too but when you go too far and locked up behind them bars you realize what you were about and how your lil’ bro is taking that same route now you can’t do nothing about it ‘cause you know how it is Miss Me Tomorrow and this is what you have done all you can do is give advice miss me tomorrow when the mountains die and pray to Jesus Christ miss me tomorrow when the sun cries to help him become a better person in life miss me tomorrow when the ocean turns to dust and help him realize miss me tomorrow when the stars rust that he doesn’t have to go our way and he can break that chain miss me tomorrow when the sky turns to stone and move on to that different lane miss me tomorrow when the raindrops moan until then I just give my opinion hoping the clock will keep on ticking miss me tomorrow when the moon bleeds miss me tomorrow when the hills wheeze

by Ruby B. miss me tomorrow when the rainbow decays miss me tomorrow when the clouds blaze miss me tomorrow because what you see will be all that’s left of me

by Cassandra B.

11

Rest in Peace As days passed with the sun shining down, I hoped you were watching over me daily: to all 23 homeboys that died and live in my heart, to my grandfather who died of a heroin overdose, to my best friend Elizabeth that committed suicide, to my three brothers that are dead because of gangs, to my ‘hood brother that took a bullet for me, to my four uncles that died for power and money, to the soldiers that died fighting for our country, to the ones who died for what they believed in, Rest in Peace, to the ones who have lost loved ones, for we also die inside because the loss is too much to handle.

Papo, I wish I were still a kid to be picked up by you and to have you here to help me in life.

The night you died I was at the juvenile.

I had a feeling to call home, so they let me call.

I talked to you for the longest but it seemed fast.

You told me that they had you on heart life support ‘cause you did so many drugs that your heart was slowing down and couldn’t give you enough energy.

That night as you slept under the bridge at Sam’s you went to rest. You passed at 4:36 a.m., quietly.

Lizzie, why? You were so smart and beautiful.

It was in ’03. You and me walked to school.

You were talking about how life sucked for you, how your father molested you every night.

I always told you to talk to the authorities about it, but you feared him and were scared of the consequence.

Then that day came. No one ever thought it would come.

A gun shot was heard from the parking lot of school.

I ran over only to see you dead on the pavement, a gun in your hand and your eyes wide open.

12

I remember all of us as young kids doing right.

Then you three went and got involved with gangs and drugs.

My brother, Brian, got killed at a hotel party, shot in the mouth by the people he called friends.

My brother, Jonathan, got killed at his bachelor party, shot in the chest and the head by his uncle’s soldiers.

My brother, Roberto, killed at a corner store, shot with three slugs for changing his life around, and all three murders were all gang involvement.

I always look back to when you were only eleven years old, always going to school, top of your class, played all sports, then you turned 14 years old and you had responsibilities.

Your mother was a drunk, your father in prison, your young brother and sister not having much to eat, so you got to work under the table on the graveyard shift.

Then you started skipping school so you could sleep.

Everyone in the neighborhood wanted you to succeed.

Then on March 10, 2005, we were all at my house.

A car kept passing. It was around three in the morning.

Then they passed for the sixth time and started shooting.

I was walking out the door of my house with my .45.

Then I felt you tackle me down and I smelled blood, but I felt no pain. I heard you moan. Then it was quiet.

“Danny, D-boy, you okay?” I ask. No response from you.

The car drove off so I got up to check on you.

I see a hole in your head with blood flowing out.

I’m mad. Why did you get in my way? I’m shocked.

I dropped to my knees and looked around with tears in my eyes, wondering why the good had to die.

by Jonathan P.

13

13 Ways of Looking at Love 1.

To the distant you and me love is a thing that has caring and trusting but when we lose it through the meaning of lusting 2.

Hearts and chocolates to be given as a gift with love but when opened the hearts are broken and the chocolates are all eaten up 3.

From the first kiss that we are given from a cute girl but through that kiss leads to wanting sex and nothing else 4.

A rose and a glass of wine the rose has thorns that pierce the wine, giving it a disgusting taste that ends the night 5.

A beautiful wedding with heart and soul, then three months later getting divorced 6.

Having the girl of your dreams she seems to be perfect but actually greed and money is what she is perfecting

14

7.

Joy and laughter with your mother and when she drinks and smokes she is a goblin with a disgusting lover 8.

Red and pink are the colors of love but visualize the red as death and the pink as a life above 9.

A healthy heart beating at a good rate but is strangled by the disease that has complete restraint 10.

Racing love as to be on a train but there’s no finish when hate is chasing you back 11.

Hours in the mirror she thinks her man can always get better but when a man has no interest her sour love will never get better 12.

A family goes to a school meeting looking like the Bradys and return home seeing life like a lost caving 13.

Love is never an exact meaning because to me love has always had my heart unweaving

by Joseph G.

8 Ways of Looking at Tears 1. at the very beginning as we come into this world joyful hearts burn up at the sight of new life 2. home alone with an abusive family member pleads of purity crying out for help scared to death because you’re not safe yelling because there’s no one awake 3. dressed in black at a funeral home watching your best friend dead in the casket knowing there was something you could have done feeling guilty because you didn’t watching her cold, pale skin move lower wanting to be there soon, with her 4. waiting in the back of a café looking around for your lost lover been comin’ here for years still no sign, deciding to leave walking to the door, bumping a shoulder not even knowing that you just passed him 5. lying on the bed, cuddling your kids thinking about when they get older knowing you’re going to be home alone again 6. at the schoolyard a little boy gets pushed and teased

he seems to be an outcast so they decide to bust his lip 7. living in solitude, not being free thinking about your family 8. a clear liquid that falls out of your eye every time you are feeling overwhelmed

by Savannah F.

7 Ways to Look at Me 1.

A lot of people have different perspectives on my personality.

Some say I’m no good, that I’m bad, for I’m the reason my family stays sad.

2.

A juvenile.

3.

A felon.

4.

A fraud.

5.

One who hopes for God. 6.

A little boy who’s always depressed.

7.

A man who sticks out his chest to make it seem as big as the rest.

by Timothy V.

15

My Soul I know my mind is lost, but I see things clear.

My soul is torn apart and a hole is punctured through my heart.

My soul vacates my body and it’s pushed away in a cart.

My soul is gone and it seems to be lost.

My body is trapped in a dark room and my soul can’t find it.

So my soul has no hope finding its way back to my body.

Seeing devils in the dark room, so my soul doesn’t trust anybody.

Getting attacked everyday, so my soul is angry at everybody.

As my soul seems to find my body, the devils take it to a different place.

Now my soul has no hope finding its way back to my body.

My soul is going crazy because it tried its best to find my body.

Now my body is gone and my soul is left all alone.

Now that my body is gone, my soul becomes hopeless.

Even though things are bad, my soul still doesn’t hope for goodness.

My soul tries to look around to see what’s there, But only sees hopelessness.

My soul’s hope is gone.

So, ain’t no time for wishing.

I have no future because my soul ain’t with it.

There’s nothing ahead because I’m really dead.

That’s what my mind said, “If my soul doesn’t see it, then it doesn’t hope for it.”

My soul is trapped in a dark room and can’t find its way out.

My soul will not hope because it’s just a waste of time.

If my soul can’t achieve hope, Why is it gonna try?

16

Deep down inside it hurts And my soul begins to cry.

Lies

As my soul cries, it thinks about hopelessness, And wonders why it remembers that.

My whole life I’ve told lie after lie but I don’t understand why.

Is it to try and build a wall up so high It ain’t got anybody or nobody that no one can see my tale?

Because the devils refuse to give up my body.

But am I really that ugly that my tale is a disgrace to my family name, People will not help my soul, and if so, who is to blame?

Because they can’t see it without my body.

Is it those I trust enough to take my barriers down My soul becomes more hopeless. and as soon as I can turn around Hope starts not to care anymore. they put me down, into the ground, or those that dare not make a sound Then, the one above comes down of the truth, or else I know I’ll get beat down?

And tells my soul my family needs me.

I know this sounds just like another poem to you, Then he gives my soul a new body. but what you don’t understand Now as I wake from my death, is this really is true Everything is new. for hundreds of people just like me and you.

I remember everything about my past life.

I know because ever since the age of two That’s why I’m talking to you.

I’ve constantly been stabbed in the back with a medieval knife.

by Ronnie M. Yes, this really is my life.

I go day after day with nothing to say to those who claim to love me.

There’s nothing you can do to change my ways.

I have a feeling I’m gonna stay this way for the rest of my days.

What do you expect me to say?

Please don’t judge me.

Take a look at my life.

Put yourself in my shoes.

Now, what would you do?

by Timothy V.

17

My Life Here!

“Delta II, line up! No talking, hands behind your back, and have your...”

I don’t feel like going out to the black top.

It’s too hot. Thirty minutes out there is like four hours of experiencing the torture of living Hell!! “One name!” We all count out loud to give the staff our headcount.

We walk outside. I grab a basketball and go dribble, trying to release some stress, looking around the barbed wire fence. Staff everywhere.

Our only way in and out of our units is through the staff’s radio radar.

Looking around, it looks like a prison.

I can’t take the stress, being away from my daughter and her father. I love them. I got sent here for my history. I was lucky I didn’t go to Ty.C. My two felonies, they make me seem like a bad person in my baby’s caseworker’s eyes. He doesn’t know me, but he judges me, “for my record tells him all he needs to know,” so he says. I’m lost and looking for guidance and love. I need help, and I need it fast!

by Valerie R.

I Am Crazy... ...just for voicing an opinion.

I’m considered crazy if I say I want to go to college. I’m for some reason considered crazy. I like to sing love songs, but I’m still considered crazy.

Won’t anyone listen to me?

Probably not, because I’m crazy.

I love country songs because I’m crazy. I also love rock, rap, Tejano, oldies and freestyle, because I’m just crazy.

I don’t like to see people get hurt, even if they hurt me, and still I’m considered crazy.

I want to know the truth about everything, like why society is so messed up, why history keeps on repeating itself, and like I’ve said before, for some mysterious, odd reason, I am considered crazy. I really believe that I’m normal, and everyone that does not believe that is crazy. Why? Because I’m crazy and I don’t know what normal is.

by Eden M.

18

Voila! It’s Me I was formed to define beauty I walked the stars that create the galaxy I designed the heavens above so amazingly, that the devil himself bows down I am mighty I sat on the back of a dragon soaring freely through clouds singing a melody and wishing upon a star I got crowned “Queen of Rock” I’m the hardcore beat that switches moods I’m totally cool My imagination is beyond compare the three-dimensional chamber I call home creates a new dream-like light I am one-of-a-kind I gazed at a rosebud and remade the Garden of Eden with a pack of soil and two miracle hands I created it in an hour I am a Goddess, so powerful, I can overpower Hercules As a birthday present at seventeen I gave my best friend “Silversteen” She gave me “Underoath” for a day My love grows more and more My friend Mazy built a castle We both sat at the throne as we ruled the world for eternity I turned the ugly dead into beautiful dancing fairies

and was considered a beautiful catastrophe.

A knight in shining armor gets into it with Prince Charming dueling for their bride to be who would be me I am the one to die for I sowed jewels in my skin My eyes give off immortal light the dirt under my feet is sacred magic poison At the end of the world I caught Pegasus and flew forever, giving a shooting star a purpose to exist I am so precious, an infant in solid stone I fix broken hearts never-endingly and had to die twice for the amount of hearts that were fixed The breath from my lungs escapes and never needs to come back to fill up I am so perfect, so beautiful, so optimistic, so real I cannot be mistaken except by my grandma I mean I rock this world all day and night

by Savannah F.

19

Writer-in-Residence: Ignacio Magaloni

The grandmothers and grandfathers are in the children: teach them well.

—Ojibwa proverb

Each day as I explored the depths of poetry with this group of students, I could not help remembering this proverb, but in a different sense. I kept thinking that it was me who needed to learn lessons well from my students, because the grandmothers and grandfathers are in them!

I wish I could chat with you, reader, about your experience as you read these poems: I would ask, where in these pages did you hear their honesty, their passion, their integrity, their struggle with the legacies of their daily lives? I find new discoveries each time I reach for their words.

How admirably they honor family members and friends that have helped them envision how they will secure the life they wish for! I will resist quoting from the poems—reader, enjoy and explore. These clear-eyed works by teenage poets on the path to recover their true selves—even when they explore their pain and anger—are an affirmation of the communities they are a part of, and a record of their gifts.

I will always remember the young poets who shared their best with me at every workshop.

I am thrilled that now these poets will share with you and a wider world the magic of their voices.

- Ignacio Magaloni, Writer-in-Residence July 2008

My Grandpa I wanted to thank you for raising me when I had no one there for me.

You would take me to school everyday.

And when school was over I could always count on seeing that old red car in the front parking lot.

I remember those days when you would take me to the movies or sometimes to the park or those weekends when we had Bar-B-Qs and we would go to the store.

We would go to the pond and feed the ducks... if only you could have known how happy those things made me feel.

When I was growing up you kept me on the right track, told me that I could do anything I wanted if I put my mind to it.

Told me not to do drugs and to respect women no matter what.

But now you’re not here and I feel lonely and nothing but fear.

And I’m sorry to say everything that you did for me didn’t really work.

I know you’re in a better place.

I really can’t complain.

But now that you’re gone, I’m alone and locked behind a door again.

by Isaac R.

You would help me with my homework when I would get bad grades.

I wouldn’t have learned how to read if it weren’t for you.

You taught me how to play spades and poker.

On nights when I couldn’t sleep you would tell me stories about the Bible, folklore, and fables until I could sleep.

Love So Sweet Love so sweet, yet so bitter.

Honey is golden just like sweet love that is impossible to break.

Now look at the orange how sweet it looks, sweet looks but bitter taste.

Love is honey, golden and sweet, wanting to stay together as it drizzles down a spoon.

by Andrés C.

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Where I’m From I am from the dirt under the Lord’s feet.

I am the music from an angel’s trumpet and the falling petals from a lovely rose.

I am from a courageous tribe, from the Black Hills of North Dakota.

I am from courage in my native tribe, with a strong mind and my mother’s love.

I am from the fight for my right to stand my ground, and the love which is given.

I am from the pages of the Bible and the thought to succeed.

I am from a nation that stands for freedom.

I am from the name which my mother holds, and the speaking ring.

They are the glue of our souls.

I am me, the caring in the fast rising moon.

I am from the strength to stand tall in the presence of evil.

I am from the family photos under my bed.

I am from the love for events in all souls, and the love of our brothers and sisters.

I am from the photo of a child in its mother’s nursing arms, and a baby being washed squirting his mother with soap.

I am all the memories in a generation.

All we are is a result of what we have thought.

by Josh S.

Thank You, Grandmother I thank my grandmother because the day I came out of the womb, she was there.

As I left the hospital in my mother’s arms, my grandmother was there.

The first place I went was my grandmother’s home.

When I cried at night during the storm in my grandmother’s arms, she rocked me to sleep.

As I grow up and get older, my grandmother is there through every phase good and bad, ups and downs.

She always tried to turn my frown upside-down and cheer me up when I was sad and down.

And I will always give thanks to you, like a Pilgrim.

You are my sun, my moon, my star, my sky, and I will love you to the day I die.

And to see you cry is like a knife getting plunged into my heart.

You will always be in my every thought.

by Andre F.

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When I Look in the Mirror When I look in the mirror I see a disgrace to the family name.

I see a kid who can’t control his anger. I see someone who is constantly in trouble.

I guess what I see is real I guess what I see is me.

So why do I see evil?

By Arthur M.

I Can Do Anything Whatever you got for me bring it on.

I can take on the whole world.

I can take on the biggest I can be meaner than the meanest.

I can do whatever I want I can be whomever I choose I can do anything.

by Arthur M.

My Fantasy Here I am walking down a path surrounded by nature, animals frolicking through the flowers. The weather is cool and warm at the same time. There is a house 45 yards away from me. I am mystified, thinking who built this round house in the middle of nature? The house has a beautiful garden surrounding it, and it is fabulously painted like a rainbow that gluts my happy memories. I wonder what’s inside. I make my way through the flowers, trying not to take their life away. I peek inside the window, and I see beautiful heart-shaped furniture, expensive things. I’m wondering who lives inside this house? Geez, if I lived here it would be paradise. I see elf-like people. They look harmless. There is a round sign in the middle of the garden saying, “Welcome to paradise. All are welcome.”

by Adrian C.

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Hatred and Chaos Hatred and Chaos lurk in this unkind place we know as home, knowing they are impossible to try and hide from.

We run and face them head on hoping they turn and scamper away.

Really, all they do is stand there laughing in your face, knowing they will consume you without thinking twice.

By the time you figure it out, it’s too late because Hatred and Chaos have chosen your fate.

by Andrés C.

Time Lost mom loving hard working great personality optimistic determined smart supportive protective what can run but never walks? has a bed but never sleeps? has a head but never weeps?

The river.

by Josh S.

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Where I’m From

I am from the votaries and rosaries, from Dr. Pepper and Sprite.

I am from the Chinese Plum tree in the backyard with big and juicy fruit.

I am from aloe vera and red roses.

I am from Christmas menudo and “never give uppers” and “stay on your grinders.”

I am from the jefitas and jefitos, carnales and carnalitas.

I am from the family of Sunday night dinners out and constant arguing but with endless love.

From “Stop being necio,” and “Listen to jefa.”

I am from believers of God but no practice of religion with nightly prayers but never entering a house of worship.

I am from the city of the champion Spurs, menudo and fajitas.

From the father and uncle serving time, from the grandfather who lost his life to cancer, from the grandmother who worked to keep food on the table.

I am from living room walls full of family pictures, letters from past years from my dad and my bedroom walls plastered with CD covers.

I am from snapshots of my family collected like leaves on a tree.

by Alfred R.

Where I’m From I am from the cherry-scented candle on the bedside table, from Foca laundry detergent Where I’m From and flea market clothes.

I am from the trailer with the blue stripes I am from forks and spoons, on the top and bottom. from Fabuloso and Clorox bleach.

I am from the dead brown palm trees, I am from the lemon tree in my back yard. the bugs crawling on the dead leaves.

I am from the pine trees, the red rose bush, I am from curse words I am from Fiesta and stubborn slow people, and a stubborn family. and from “Princess” Barbara and Leeroy.

I am from the having-fun family, I am from the glasses my mom throws and the sadness family. in her bipolar rages I am from the chavalón and tonto family. and the Budweiser can I am from the Christian believers family. that falls with a clunk!

I am from Texas, San Antonio, From “Love and pain go hand in hand” and Puerto Rico. and “Don’t be afraid to speak your mind!”

I am the Bible covered in dust I’m from the time in my mom’s closet my father fell out of a car and the Sunday Services at San Fernando. when he was drunk, I am from the Northside Hospital, and from the watching T.V. and arroz con pollo y fideo. and from the time my cousin threw up From the car crash at the school gates, family. the broken window at my home, the lost paycheck on the bus.

I am from my family pictures I am from the key-locked box in the closet in the drawer. with the memories of all my life events They mean a great deal to me. so that one day when I’m older I’m glad that I have some I can go back and look of those pictures. at the good and bad times.

I am the person

by Isaac R. with a fake smile on his face standing by the broken hearts of a family.

by Tommy H.

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Who Am I? Who am I? Who. . .am. . .I? I am that child at school who stands by himself, hands in his pockets on the playground.

Who am I? I am the middle school youth who sits alone without anyone to talk to.

Who am I? I am that high school junior who tries to make friends but is always rejected.

Who am I? I am that young man who walks across the stage to receive his high school diploma and excel in life.

Who am I? I am that 24-year-old who walks across the stage to receive his Bachelor’s degree and makes a difference.

Who am I? No, no more, “who am I?” from now on it will be “What am I?”

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Now I am someone who makes a difference and made changes his life and bettered the world not just for himself but for all people, from now until forever.

by Andrés C.

The Lost Little Boy Stops Worrying Every night the lost little boy worries.

The lost little boy worries about his mother and brother.

The lost little boy wonders where his dad is.

The lost little boy worries about not being there to help.

The lost little boy worries where would his family live.

The lost little boy worries if his family is safe or not.

All he can do is pray and hope.

The lost little boy gets tired of praying and hoping.

The lost little boy wants to make things right.

The lost little boy is searching for the right road.

The lost little boy finds the road.

The lost little boy is not a lost little boy.

No, he is a young man with Responsibility.

by Michael E.

My Uncle

My Mother’s Pain To the woman who bled for me so freely You took the chance of death.

Now you have a newborn son with a beautiful personality.

But as I grew up I pushed you away with all my anger inside.

It couldn’t last one more day as I walk out that door, seeing the tears in your eyes.

I never stopped once to apologize.

Years have gone by without the sight of you as I walk down that lonely road.

I never realized all the ways I have treated you like a fool.

Now I have grown up and become a man.

I have never stepped foot in your house because of what I am.

You said I was your most prized possession, that no one would ever take me away, but I broke my promise and walked out that door

I remember I was so small you were so big.

Not only were you big in physical size, you were always bigger than life to me.

In your Navy uniform you looked so impressive.

You always knew what music I liked.

Even though I was young I jammed to Bone, even Brother Lynch Hung.

You came to my family a little bit late.

Even though we ain’t blood, I still appreciate that everything you did for me was from the heart.

You were the one who taught me to always think smart.

You were always a good father to all your seeds You even took care of me like one of your own.

You’re the one who told me I’d never be alone.

by Alfred R.

and I haven’t seen you not even till this day.

by Josh S.

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Joy What is Joy? Joy is when a parent sees their child open his or her first present on Christmas Day. Joy is being able to be there to see your newborn come into this world.

Joy makes people happy to see a child take his or her first step or to hear that child say his or her first word.

Joy comes when you are there to see them ride their first bike or go to their first birthday party.

Joy will always be there.

It’s just, do you want to be there to witness it?

by Andre F.

Where I’m From I am from a cookbook ready to make, from Tia Joe’s Mexican Cook Book, from the hot, caring love that is never broken.

I am from the Great Oak Tree, one of many leaves, part of a family.

I am from a Christmas gathering, making home-made tamales, and being stern yet understanding, I am from a swim team and from debate and drama club.

From “Stop bothering!” to “You’ve done great!”

From the dark pits of Satanism to spreading God’s glory to all.

I am from Mexico and Brazil, from tortillas and maíz.

From the strength to win a race, and the courage of a mother to make life better for her children.

I am from the picture in front of a house, showing we don’t fall, not at all.

by Andrés C.

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Pain I have been through the struggle; I have been through this pain.

All these losses in my life got me going insane.

Got to stay on my feet because I need to maintain for all these people that be thinking I am playing.

I am gonna give it all I got to the last of my days, and I swear to God that I am never afraid.

I still stay living my life surrounded by pain, buried in shame...

Life without Dad is not the same.

Sometimes I wish that things can change.

I often been thinking about going away.

Never thought I’d make it so far — it’s kind of strange.

I open my eyes and know what to blame.

Seems to me that my life is headed down the drain.

So what can I do to choose the right path?

Keep my head forward and never look back.

by Alfred R.

Where I’m From I am from a big king-sized bed, from a big red and black Sony radio.

I am from a not big, not small clean house.

I am from the green grass and the red roses.

I am from going to grandmother’s gravesite and from an arguing family.

I am from having fun arguing.

I am from a family that says, “Do something with your life,” and family saying, “Show everybody you can do it.”

I am from a Christian mom that never goes to church.

I am from the city of the Alamo where we eat tamales and bar-b-q.

I am from my aunt catching on fire while playing with fire crackers.

I am from a house full of family pictures.

by Michael E.

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Destinies to Mend and My Happiness to Begin Thinking of you wherever you are, we pray for our sorrows to end and hope that our hearts will mend.

Now I will step forward to realize this wish, and who knows?

Starting a new journey may not be so hard or maybe it has already begun.

There are many worlds out there, but they share the same sky, one destiny.

And if there are any other worlds out there, why did we end up in this one here?

If I Were In Charge of The World If I were in charge of the world, I’d make sure every child had a father.

If I were in charge of the world, I’d make sure mothers would be there for their kids.

I am searching for my purpose and aiming to be somebody I’m not, who knows?

If I were in charge of the world, I’d make sure the homeless had a place to live.

They call me misery because I feel like a nobody.

They call me misery because I have no purpose.

If I were in charge of the world, I’d make sure cancer had a cure.

But what I have are round church bells ringing, ringing in my figure-shaped heart.

Is it a sign to prove, to show who I am?

It’s telling my sorrows to end and to start a whole new life out ahead.

So here I go taking my first step into victory.

by Adrian C.

If I were in charge of the world, I’d make sure all pedophiles were off the street.

If I were in charge of the world, more people will be thankful.

If only I were in charge of the world, then I would have had a dad in my life.

If only I were in charge of the world, then my grandmother wouldn’t have died from cancer.

If only I were in charge of the world. . .

by Michael E.

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Rest in Peace

To Aliha B. whose favorite animal was the eagle I see the Bald Eagle.

Elegant, swift, calm, it seems to sparkle.

It’s flying over its domain.

It’s free.

No worries.

Wait, it has a tear in its eye.

I believe it’s crying for all the pain it has seen in this country.

It lands by me.

I pet it, I wipe the tear.

As it begins to fly I hear it whisper, “Rest In Peace.”

This makes my brown eyes cry for my Baby Sister.

The sky then turns Purple.

by Arthur M.

His Life Every night he worries if he’s going to make it through this life but when he starts thinking he gets sad and all he thinks about is what is gonna happen if he doesn’t make it through this life. . .

He might lose his mind, might go crazy.

Who knows?

His story isn’t over yet...

He’s made some bad decisions, done some people wrong, but all in all he’s a good person.

Some people say he’s a bad kid but their eyes haven’t seen what his eyes have seen.

They haven’t lived where he has lived in the slums of a ghetto filled with poverty and pain.

The people that are quick to throw him away don’t have to worry about tomorrow or today.

They live in the suburbs not understanding where he and his people come from.

This is part of his life.

How will it end?

by Isaac R.

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Writer-in-Residence: Xelena Gonzalez

Before class one day, three of my female students walked into the workshop space early.

One of them was clearly distraught and began sobbing when her friends asked what was wrong. Apparently she had been informed that she would not be given custody of her 10-month-old son upon her release from the Krier Center. Having a child taken away is devastating to any mother, and I knew from conversations with this particular student and from her remarkable, heartfelt writing, that her son was her world.

“If I can’t get my son back, then what am I doing all this for?” she asked. “I feel like just giving up.” But her friends wouldn’t hear of it. “You can’t give up,” they told her.

“You are a good mother because of all this you’re doing.” (Overhearing the exchange, of course I felt inclined to play the role of the teacher, but the young women seemed to be doing a fine job on their own, so I remained silent.) They told her that she deserved another chance at motherhood because of the enormous changes she’d made in her life.

They told her not to take “no” for an answer and to find a way no matter what. They told her not to give up hope.

These students exhibited beautifully the themes I strived to explore in our summer writing workshop: holding onto hope; forgiving to move forward; seeking your own inner peace and freedom; and most importantly, finding the light of redemption even in your darkest hour. These life lessons were easier to understand thanks to the many great writers who came before us—Bob Marley, Khalil Gibran, Sade, Malcolm X, Emily Dickinson, Stevie Wonder, Abraham Lincoln, Tupac Shakur, Maya Angelou, and many others whose words we devoured.

As always, I wish I’d had more time to work with the young writers of the Krier Center, to help them polish their poems, stories, and songs. But what you’ll read here is real— the rawness of emotion, the thick skin of survival, and the beauty of a beating heart.

Enjoy.

- Xelena González, Writer-in-Residence August 2008

Every Hour

Let

There is a place in your heart Where you have hope.

You can set free your mind, Just let yourself go and unwind.

Have hope that you can do what is right.

Think about it and dream at night.

Hope is like having power And really living every hour.

Let me out, let me fly Let me soar into the sky Let me be free forever Let’s be free together Let love persevere Let love never leave me here, alone without you not knowing what to do.

By Cynthia V.

By Michael C.

My Time, My Peace, ME! Hook: Freedom is something special to me.

For freedom I will get on my knees.

I just want to be with my family — That’s true freedom to me.

Locked up, incarcerated — Man, I need to be home.

I would be on the couch Talkin’ on my telephone.

Man, that’s true freedom to me — Doin’ what I do, Bein’ who I be.

It’s like I can’t keep my act straight, So I pray to God everyday.

I need to be home — That’s just me, I guess.

Freedom is something special to me.

To me, freedom is being Who I truly am — Being a veterinarian.

Being free means I can See my sister and brother Whenever I want.

Freedom to let everybody Know who I am, Letting my mom see How I really am.

Freedom is my family Seeing how good I am.

Freedom is my mom and dad saying “That’s my son!”

Really, freedom is being ME!

Hook

Hook

by Arthur M.

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Hope and Love She loves me She loves me not I hope the love Will never stop I hope this is real The way that I feel Love makes me feel alive Hope keeps me in drive Love is like the rain that nourishes the mind Hope is there all of the time Hope is the love Flying high like a dove Love is the seam that holds us together Hope is the beam that lasts forever As long as there is hope on earth There will be love to give birth Love makes me feel warm inside Hope is always there to thrive Flying high in the sky Hope and love shall never die It is only bliss To know all of this.

By Kyle R.

Holding Onto Hope I feel like giving up and in my mind I’m stuck not knowing what to do because I hate myself for abandoning you I want to scream I want to shout And if I don’t share what my feelings are about I might just pull all my hair out But I stop to think what a great mom I can be So I find some hope in between when I’m thinking about how much my son means to me So now I’m not walking through the same pothole in the middle of the street I’m able to walk around it grabbing onto hope never letting go Because the light that shines through my son is what I’ll take with me to help me carry on.

By Roxanne R.

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Where There’s a place where no matter what anyone does, your hope won’t be restrained.

There’s a place where no matter what they say, your happiness can’t be contained.

For hope is like the infinite space, that reaches into every place.

By Michael C.

In My Mind

There’s a place in my life where I go all the time.

It’s somewhere close and it’s called my mind.

It’s a place I go when I’m all alone, When I’m calm and not on the phone.

It frees me from my trouble, comforts me when I’m sad.

It gives me hope when my day’s been bad.

They may call me weird for talking and laughing with myself.

All I tell them is, “Well there isn’t anybody else!”

Boys think I’m quiet and doctors think I’m crazy, But I don’t care ‘cause I’m just what God made me.

Somewhere

By Brianna F.

Hope is like a stream flowing wild and free Rushing toward an ocean of my dreams Drifting quietly where I want to be Like dolphins laughing in the sea It’s only me and my family Ocean sounding a beautiful melody Skies and clouds so heavenly Spirits combining into one soul A wave of happiness, a chest of gold Forever is here, nowhere to go Realizing that you already know

By Ceasar G.

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Don’t Cry Mama don’t cry no more I’m going to make it after all Don’t shed your tears no more I’m going to make it after all Hold on to hope Mama I’m coming home I’m standing strong With my head up for sure They said I wouldn’t make it I’m gonna prove them wrong They can’t do nothing to me So I’m ‘a comin’ to you And that’s the truth Mama, I’m comin’ home to you So...

Mama don’t cry no more I’m going to make it after all Don’t shed your tears no more I’m going to make it after all

by Arthur M.

Release Please free me from my pain Release my heart from the chain Feels like this world is a hateful game

By Jose D.

Healing Hell is like a bottomless pit Trying to get out but you keep falling down Perishing for all your life Forever Angering Satan against your will He comes here and there Everywhere But you Keep coming back Don’t give up Talk to God And ask him for forgiveness for all your sins He will come and pick you up and take you to his kingdom where you will be blessed every single day Just to feel God’s loving arms holding you, embracing you, Releasing Healing Calm

By Jesus L.

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Forgive Forgiving and forgetting Is what I used to do.

I forgave you for everything Because I loved you.

I forgave you for calling me All those names.

Every time I made you mad You would tell me you were sorry, That you didn’t mean to make me sad.

I forgave you when you told me that you Dropped out of school.

You knew I was going to be mad Because I believed in you.

I forgave you when you came home With those hickeys on your neck.

You told me she was just a girl And you slept with her for a bet.

I forgave you when you said You would love me no matter what, But when I told you I was pregnant You hit me in my stomach To let me know what was up.

I forgave you when you said You would come to see What our child was going to be.

But when you never showed up I called you And your excuse was you lost your keys.

I forgave you when you came home drunk And you hit me with your fist.

You told me you were sorry

And you gave me a gentle kiss.

But the next day you came home As drunk as you can be You threw me on the floor This time and beat me Until you made me bleed.

Then you told me you were sorry That you would never do it again.

But that was just a lie ‘Cuz as the next day came You did it once again.

I forgave you when you told me You would always be there But when I brought our son home You left us without a care.

So get mad. I dare you.

But believe it or not, We’re through.

So why don’t you just go ahead And do what you always do.

But just to let you know You will always be in my heart.

And leaving you I knew would be hard, But guess what It just brought me and our son good luck And in the end My love is what you’re gonna miss And for that I give my son a kiss Knowing he won’t be like you Doing the stupid stuff you do.

By Roxanne R.

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Eternal Love Chorus: Did I tell you baby, you’ve been on my mind lately Baby, did I tell you that I’ll forever love you Until the day I die my love around you flies So did I tell you baby, you’ve been on my mind lately

everything seems clear Being with you I have nothing to fear So hey, let me tell you that I need you in my life And one day I want you to call me your wife

Chorus

To me you are an amazing guy Straight from the heart of Mezmerize I want to be with you beyond the day I die I’m writing all this and have to dry my eyes Possessing a love like this is very rare You know me, I can’t get my mind off you I thank God you’re by my side You always pop into my head giving me care in all that I do I just need you to hold me tight Ever since the day we first got together And tell me everything is all right I knew me and you were gonna last forever You never want to see me down You’ve always shown me And can always take away my frown that you really do care We’re in love, that I can see I’m sorry for hurting you and being unfair I know we’ll be together for eternity You are there for me, no matter what I go through Chorus Even when I was involved with some other dude

by Samantha G. It never occurred to me that it caused you some pain All because I was messing with Mary Jane

Chorus I don’t know why I ever treated you that way The hurt that I had was the price I had to pay But that’s all the past now, I want you to see That I’m faithful to you and I’m also drug-free When we are together

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Peace Haikus Sand under my feet I’m walking on clouds of peace Sun shines on my back Freshness in the air Birds in the beautiful trees Love, happiness, peace

By Ceasar G.

Coming Home When I was home, all I ever wanted was to have fun Now I’m in this cold, empty room, alone, without my son He’s so far away and growing fast before my eyes It’s sad it took me this long, this long to realize To realize how much he needs me and wants me to be there I’m stupid ‘causeI let him down, acting like I didn’t care I didn’t think it would be this hard to have him so far away Every day I worry about him, and every night I pray I wish I could be home right now to take care of him like they do Or even just to hold his hand and tell him I love you I hope he doesn’t think that his mommy doesn’t love him ‘Cause he is number one in my heart, and I’ll put no one else above him I’ve made many mistakes but realized it’s time to change My precious little boy’s at home, waiting to call my name He’s waiting for me to hug him and show him how much I care All my baby wants is for his mommy to be there So don’t worry precious baby, Mommy will be home soon To care for you like a mother should and to love you through and through

By Roxanne R.

Hope is like...

Hope is like the sun. It will be there to shine for millions and billions of years. But like the sun, one day it may blow up or run out. Still, hope is like gas in a car. It runs out sometimes, but you can always get more or refill yourself. Maybe hope is like grass that’s all around. You can cut it, but it will always grow back.

By Andre F.

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In This Cage Free me Let me be I don’t like this cage And this cage don’t like me I appreciate the hand That feeds me And even sometimes The view I see But I can’t fly free The sky isn’t the limit for me The top of this cage is And I can’t leave Help me please Give me the strength to break free Be the bird that I want to be Oh I see, yes I see The key that will set me free Thank you God above For letting me be free as a dove

By Brianna F.

Loving Grandparents The love of my grandparents Is everlasting Whether I’m far or near Whether I’m home or here Their love lasts Even when I’m gone

By Timothy L.

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Sitting in the Dark There’s a place in the dark room Where I rid myself from gloom Reaching for the light, searching for the moon Listening to the music’s soft, soulful tune Wishing that hope would come to me soon My soul is the target getting hit with a dart Pain in my heart, feels like I’m falling apart That’s why I sit here in the dark.

By Jose D.

Three Haikus Peace feels like freedom Words and sights so beautiful Now I know myself Hope is a feeling There is no hidden meaning It’s just believing The peace inside me Feels so good because I’m clean An eagle looks in

By Andrew B.

Let Go Why did you have to do wrong if I was by your side all along?

Free at last Let go of your past You’re a free person Once more Beautiful inside and out Now you know you want to shout Free at last!

Let go of your past One more time Show me you’ll be alright Stay in life Before you go Just to let you know You’re free To go home!

By Cynthia V.

Forgiven Why did you cause me all this pain?

Why must I feel so ashamed?

You hurt me in every way But you’ll regret it all one day.

You impaired all this but why?

Was our love one big lie?

You did me wrong right from the start And I still love you with all my heart.

You meant so much to me But I guess that you could not see.

So one day it all came to an end All because of God, my best friend.

Now I can see I’m worth so much more Because He fixed the heart that you tore.

So I hope you change for the best And put your bad habits to rest.

Also, thank you for doing me wrong Because it helped me all along.

By Samantha G.

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True Feelings Happiness to me is to be with my sister God knows that I miss her Chillin’ on the couch, watching Southpark ‘Cause things don’t go down until after dark My brother always makes me laugh My dad playing football, thinking he be bad Chillin’ with my siblings, playing spades Auntie working ‘cause she’s tryin’ to get paid But secretly inside I want to cry ‘Cause I’ve seen too many family members ride and die

Lift When you’re feeling down And hope cannot be found It will one day come around And lift you off the ground

By Andre F.

So I guess inner peace to me is being with my family Rest in Peace

By Arthur M.

Goodbye Changes My family is the hope that I need to change Nothing can stand In my way I hear my uncles’ voices Telling me I can do better So I want to wash All of my troubles away And turn them into Changes

By Johnny B.

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I sit here and I start to cry since the day you said goodbye I loved you so much You left me without Trust and touch Think of the time we spent together Baby, my love for you had no measure

By Jesus L.

Yours to Keep

Forgive I hope one day I can forgive my mom but the way she did me was wrong she could have stayed and never left now I got all these regrets Forgive forget I can’t seem to do that at all But it’s for her I’m standing tall I love my mom but can’t seem to hold on What is wrong my situation is getting big.

This is it Can I forgive?

I don’t know But it is what it is...

By Cynthia V.

Freedom is more than being free To say or do what you want It is more than that Freedom is your pride A thought or how you feel Freedom is love Being able to express yourself Freedom is an eagle soaring high In the sky with no worries Keep your freedom close And never give it to the oppressor We’ve fought for freedom for a long time Now you have it, love it with passion Wear it on your sleeve like it’s the new fashion Put in on your shoulders Or hold it in your pocket It’s yours to keep Your most prized possession It is yours today Without it There is no tomorrow

By Andre F.

Drift Away There’s a place where you can sit by yourself in the rain And no one will notice you crying out your pain Where you can get away forever Drift away like a broken feather

By Michael C.

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Gemini Ink nurtures readers and writers and builds community through literature and the related arts. We are the only community-based center for literary arts and ideas in San Antonio and South Texas. During the past year, we served more than 5,600 readers, writers, and literary performance-goers representing a diverse sampling of our community’s population. Four programs currently serve our mission: •WRITERS IN COMMUNITIES (WIC) sends professional writers into diverse community settings to work alongslide students of all ages, needs, interests, and abilities in free workshops based in oral traditions, reading, and creative writing.

•The AUTOGRAPH SERIES presents writers of national and international stature - many of them recipients of major prizes such as the Pulitzer or National Book Award - each spring and fall in free public performances at major local theaters.

•The UNIVERSITY WITHOUT WALLS (UWW) offers three semesters of fee-based reading groups and workshops and also many free literary events led by professional writers, scholars, and interdisciplinary artists.

•DRAMATIC READER’S THEATER (DRT) features professional actors interpreting literary works in free performances, often accompanied by original music.

For more information, visit www.geminiink.org or call 210.734-WORD (9673). Toll-free: 877.734-WORD (9673).