Center Spirit Pesach Issue 2022

‫תשפ"ב‬‎ ‫ ניסן‬- APRIL 2022

PESACH MEATS FIT FOR ROYALTY

BY CHARNY KOHN

BEHIND THE SCENES AT BORO PARK CENTER HOUSEKEEPING

PESACH AND NUTRITION

BY SURI SPREI

MATZAH THINS INSIDE CHAREIDIM MATZAH BAKERY

SPLITTING THE SEA 3 PERSPECTIVES ON THE WORLD OF SHIDDUCHIM

HAIR AND MAKEUP TIPS AND TRICKS

BY HAIR + BLUSH

THIS MONTH IN HISTORY

THE TITANIC RMS Titanic was a British passenger liner, which sank in the North Atlantic Ocean on 15 April 1912 after striking an iceberg during her maiden voyage from Southampton, UK, to New York City.

HELLO, ALL! Another year, another Pesach!

RAIZY PAVLOV DIRECTOR OF RECREATION

EDITOR'S DESK

Reflecting on Pesach last year, I recall the magnificent Seder the residents at Boro Park Center experienced. The tables were set tastefully and the residents were dressed in their beautiful Yom Tov finest. Rabbi Waijsfeld led the Seder with so much passion and “hartz”. I remember standing there frozen and filled with emotion, taking in the purity and serenity of that moment.

OUR MISSION:

When a non-Jewish companion took me by surprise and emailed me photos that she took of the Seder, I was elated. although some of those pictured are no longer with us, these photos hold so much meaning and nostalgia for me, and I chose to share them with you.

Have things changed much here at BPC since the last Pesach? Actually, not!

The activities are still happening (we never really stopped — even through the height of the pandemic. We just modified the activities according to the forever-changing State guidelines!) With activities such as Zumba, pottery, baking and more, our residents know that my awesome recreation team brings so much joy and meaning to their lives. And guess what! We even had an in-house simcha here at Boro Park Center when Tziporah, one of the amazing and dedicated recreation employees got engaged to…drumroll…. Avraham Tuvia, another employee here! And can you guess who the shadchan was?

Speaking of Bashert, we have dedicated an entire section in this magazine to shidduchim and beyond. I hope you find the articles insightful. Chantzy Weinstein’s recipes are a Pesach favorite for me year after year, and this time I chose to bring you some of her most popular and EASY recipes. You’ll thank me!

The cleaning help feature is definitely one that many of us can relate to, as it’s a never-ending saga for the typical “Yiddisha Mama” especially before Pesach. I even brought you all behind the scenes with Carlos Albert, the housekeeping director at BPC. He tells us what it’s like to keep a huge facility like this one cleaned on a daily basis.

There is so much more in this magazine that we hardly brushed upon, and I’m sure you will enjoy all its contents fully once you actually get to sit and relax!

Happy cleaning and cooking, and may we be zoche to Pesach in Yerushalayim next year!

L’shana Haba B’Yerushalayim!

Raizy Pavlov

PUTTING YOU FRONT AND CENTER

At Boro Park Center, we practice a completely home-based approach to out-of-home rehabilitation and nursing care. Home means family, and our Center was founded on the ideal that residents and their families should never be far apart. Come on in, Live HappyTM, and enjoy an environment made possible by compassionate caregivers, therapy specialists, and most importantly, friends and family.

Project by: gcnymarketing●com

Your comments and feedback are important to us so that we can continue to serve you as best as possible.

Please email your comments to rpavlov@boroparkcenter.net

4915 10th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11219 718-851-3700 www.BoroParkCenter.net

TABLE OF CONTENTS Section I: Featured Articles and Stories Halachos of Pesach......................................................................................................................7 Wheel of Fortune.........................................................................................................................10 Pesach in Auschwitz....................................................................................................................14 Matzah Thins, Inside Chareidim Matzah Bakery................................................................17 This Month in History..................................................................................................................20 Hair and Makeup Tips................................................................................................................26

Section II: Cleaning for Pesach, with “Help” and Happiness

BTS at Boro Park Center 34 Housekeeping

Taken to the Cleaners.................................................................................................................29 Cleaning Horrors.........................................................................................................................31 Bonding with my Cleaning Lady.............................................................................................32 Behind the Scenes - Housekeeping in BPC.........................................................................34 Cleaning Tips................................................................................................................................38

Section III: Splitting the Sea Intro..................................................................................................................................................44 Shadchanim..................................................................................................................................46 Singles.............................................................................................................................................49

Splitting the Sea Shidduchim

42

Marriage.........................................................................................................................................53

Section IV: To Health!

Pesach and Nutrition by Suri Sprei.........................................................................................58 Feel Lighter and More Energetic this Pesach by Esti Asher............................................62

Section V: Recipes Pesach Simplified by Chantzy Weinstein.............................................................................64 Pesach Meats Fit For Royalty by Charny Kohn....................................................................71

Pesach Meats Fit for Royalty

67

BORO PARK CENTER PESACH SCHEDULE

‫ערב פסח‬

Erev Pesach / April 15 Shachris...........................................................9:00 AM Siyum Bechorim after Davening Latest Time for Eating Chametz.............10:43 AM Latest Time for Burning Chametz..........11:49 AM Candle Lighting...........................................7:17 PM Minchah..........................................................715 AM 1st Seder.........................................................8:15 PM

‫פסח‬

1st day Pesach / April 16 Shachris...........................................................9:00 AM Mincha.............................................................7:30 PM 2nd Seder.......................................................8:40 PM Candle Lighting**.......................................8:49 PM 2nd day Pesach / April 17 Shachris...........................................................9:00 AM Mincha.............................................................7:50 PM Maariv..............................................................8:40 PM Havdalah.........................................................8:50 PM

‫חול המועד‬

Chol Hamoed / April 18 - 21 Shachris...........................................................9:00 AM Minchah..........................................................1:45 PM Maariv..............................................................8:00 PM

‫ערב שביעי של פסח‬

Friday / April 22 Candle Lighting...........................................7:23 PM Mincha.............................................................7:40 PM

‫שביעי של פסח‬

Saturday / April 23 Shachris...........................................................9:00 AM Candle Lighting...........................................7:24 PM Mincha.............................................................7:40 PM

‫אחרון של פסח‬

Shachris...........................................................9:00 AM Mincha.............................................................7:55 PM Maariv..............................................................8:50 PM Havdalah.........................................................8:56 PM * Candle Lighting after (not before)

FROM THE ADMINS DESK

Two years ago on Pesach our world shut down. Our doors were closed to family and community members, who had been making special visits to our facility on Pesach each year. There was no communal Seder as we have done for the previous years in Boro Park Center. For most of our residents, Pesach of 2020/5780 was spent in isolation, away from loved ones. Last year, as we began to see a glimmer of hope as the world was emerging from COVID, we opened our facility for each resident to have a Seder at a private individual table, with very few family members participating. The Seder of 2021/5781, which was once again led by our Rav Wajsfeld, was beautiful and inspiring but still left a feeling that something was missing.

Pesach is a Yom Tov of memory and hope. We all know that memory is the key to Jewish survival. Without holding on and remembering the past we will forget it, and are destined to repeat the horrible atrocities that have befallen Yidden, as well as the great triumphs and successes we have as a nation. The Seder and all its foods and customs are intended to be memory aids for all of us. The story of Yetziyas Mitzrayim, the Yam Suf and HKB’’H’s salvation are recorded in our minds and tefillos. We as the Jewish nation recall these memories and keep them alive from one generation to the next. This is the secret of the Pesach Seder, to pass down these memories and celebrate them year after year. When we hold the matzah and take a bite out of it, the memories come rushing into our subconscious soul. When we eat the marror and charoses and hear the children sing Mah Nishtanah, we remind ourselves and family members that Pesach is probably the strongest memory aid that Judaism possesses.

Which brings us now to Pesach 2022/5782. We must spend this Seder looking back to where we have been and what we have overcome. At our Seder this year at Boro Park Center, we will remember our Sedarim from the past two years, as well as our Sedarim from 3,000 years ago. We will remember the generations that enabled us to reach this day. We will look around at the faces of our children and grandchildren and send the message that our legacy for them is the great sense of memory of the past that we must hold on to. We will offer each of our participants the idea that we still have hope and yearning for a better future, no matter what our current difficulties are.

This year we have a lot to look forward to. The Seder will reinforce our sense of these hopes and expectations. By holding on to the memories of the past, albeit some painful ones like COVID, we will be reminded not to despair of what will become. We can get a sense of renewed confidence regarding our future by speaking with our families, educating our young about the past and holding on to those memories that make us an Am Kadosh. This year, more than ever, as we hold on to the memory and hope of Pesach, we will IY’’H be zocheh to a Geulah Shleimah B’karov.

Chag kasher v’sameach.

David Greenberg Administrator

F E AT U R E D ARTICLES AND STORIES

• Halachos of Pesach

• Matzah Thins

• Wheel of Fortune

• This Month in History

• Pesach in Auschwitz

• Hair and Makeup Tips

Halachos of PESACH

By: Rabbi Dovid Heber

Erev Pesach is one of the busiest and most unique days of the year. With every hour comes another set of halachos.

Many halachic times, including the time for searching for chometz and the latest time for eating chometz, are well known. However, many halachos of Erev Pesach are often confusing and not commonly understood. The purpose of this article is to elucidate some of the lesser-known laws of Erev Pesach.

Note: These halachos apply to Erev Pesach that occurs on a weekday. If Erev Pesach occurs on Shabbos, special halachos apply to both Friday (13th of Nissan) and Shabbos (Erev Pesach).

Chometz 1. Searching for Chometz- The opening line of Meseches Pesachim states that one should search for chometz on the night of the 14th of Nissan (i.e. the night before Pesach). This should begin immediately after nightfall (50 minutes after sunset for this application).

2. Eating Chometz- One may eat chometz until the end of the “4th halachic hour” of the day. There are different opinions regarding the calculation of the length of the day and halachic hour. Ideally, one should use the following calculation: One may eat chometz until the end of 1/3 of the “day”. For this application, the “day” begins 72 minutes before sunrise and ends approximately 50 minutes after sunset (in Baltimore and New York).

burns the chometz and recites Kol Chamira at 8:30 a.m., he and his family (even if they are not at home) may no longer eat chometz. Everything must be put away by that time. b. Be cognizant of the latest times. All times apply to chometz eaten at any location. One year, the gentile owner of a doughnut shop told the Star-K that he saw individuals eating doughnuts in their cars after the latest time for eating chometz! Also, chometz should not be burned at the last second. This is true whether one burns chometz outside his home or at a public biur chometz.

4. Chometz in the Mail- If one receives chometz in the mail or with the newspaper on Erev Pesach (after the 5th halachic hour) or on Pesach, one should not assume ownership of the item but rather leave the chometz outside. If mail is delivered through a mail slot into one’s home, he should have the intent not to acquire the chometz (i.e. not taking legal possession) and kick it or push it outside with a stick to avoid handling it.

If it is still around after Pesach, he may assume ownership at that time and use it, provided that the sender is a gentile.

5. Kashering on Erev PesachIdeally, all kashering should be completed by the end of the

3. Burning and Selling Chometz- Chometz must be disposed of by burning or selling it before the end of the “5th halachic hour”- 5/12 of the day. Kol Chamira is recited following the burning, before the end of the 5th halachic hour.

One should be aware of the following: a. Once Kol Chamira is recited by the head of the household, no chometz may be eaten by anyone at home. For example, if the father

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4th halachic hour. If one forgot to kasher before this time, he may kasher the vessel until candlelighting time on Erev Pesach with the following condition: The vessel did not come into contact with anything hot (whether Kosher L’Pesach or not) within the past 24 hours. In the event the vessel came into contact with something hot within the past 24 hours, or if one requires kashering of a chometz vessel on Pesach, a rav should be consulted.

6. Finding Chometz on Erev Pesach- There is a well known halacha that states if one finds chometz on Chol Hamoed or on Erev Pesach after the 5th hour, one should immediately burn it. On Yom Tov, one should cover the chometz (because it is muktza) and burn it after Yom Tov. This halacha applies only if he did not sell his chometz to a gentile. However, if he sells chometz to a gentile the sale includes all chometz, wherever it may be found. Therefore, if one discovers pretzels in a drawer or bagel chips in a coat pocket during Pesach, he may not burn this chometz since it belongs to the gentile to whom the rav sold the chometz! Rather, he should store the item with the “locked up” chometz sold to the gentile. On Yom Tov, one should cover it and lock it up on Chol Hamoed. It may be eaten after Pesach when the chometz is repurchased.

Eating on Erev Pesach & Preparing For the Seder 1. One may not eat even Kosher for Pesach matzoh all day Erev Pesach. This prohibition begins at dawn (72 minutes before sunrise). There are many individuals who have the custom not to eat matzoh beginning from Rosh Chodesh Nissan or even Purim. A child under the age of six may eat matzoh even on Erev Pesach.

Products containing matzoh meal that are baked (e.g. matzoh meal cake) may not be eaten all day Erev Pesach. Kosher for Pesach matzoh meal products that are cooked (e.g. knaidlach) may be eaten until the

8 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

beginning of the 10th halachic hour of the day- three halachic hours before sunset. One who does not eat gebrochts on Pesach may only eat knaidlach and other cooked matzoh meal products until the latest time for eating chometz. He may not eat baked matzoh meal products all day.

Matzoh made with fruit juice, including Kosher for Pesach egg matzohs, grape matzohs, chocolate matzohs and Pesach Tam Tams, etc. may be eaten until the end of the 4th halachic hour (same as the latest time for eating chometz).

The sick or elderly who cannot eat regular matzoh and have consulted with their rav may eat Pesach egg matzohs any time on Erev Pesach and Pesach. However, even such an individual cannot fulfill the obligation of eating matzoh at the seder with these matzohs.

Meat, fish, salad, cheese, eggs, horseradish, fruits, vegetables, and potato starch cakes may be eaten until sunset. However, one should not fill up on these items so as to ensure a hearty appetite at the seder. He may drink wine or grape juice on Erev Pesach in quantities that will not affect his appetite at night.

2. All firstborn males (whether from the father or mother) must fast on Erev Pesach. A father must fast in place of his firstborn child who is between the ages of thirty days and bar mitzvah. The custom is to end the fast early by partaking in a siyum. Firstborn girls do not fast, and a mother does not fast for her first born son (under bar mitzvah when the husband is a b’chor) if her husband or son attends a siyum.

3. Preparations for the seder including roasting the z’roa meat, cooking and roasting the egg, mixing the salt water, preparing the charoses, grating the horseradish, and all necessary b’dikas tolaim (checking lettuce for bugs), should preferably be done before Pesach as special restrictions apply to preparing these items on Yom Tov. If the first day of Pesach falls on Shabbos, the z’roa and baitzah must be prepared before Shabbos. Additional restrictions apply to the preparations of the other items on Shabbos.

4. If one has a difficult time drinking wine at the seder, one should mix the wine with grape juice and/or water. Ideally, this mixture should contain a minimum of 4% alcohol.

Therefore, if the wine has 12% alcohol content, he should make a mixture consisting of 1/3 wine, 1/3 grape juice and 1/3 water (or 1/3 wine and 2/3 grape juice). He must be aware that many wines available have a lower alcohol content.

Therefore, if the wine has an 8% alcohol content he should make a mixture consisting of 1/2 wine, 1/4 grape juice and 1/4 water (or 1/2 wine and 1/2 grape juice). Wine with 6% alcohol content requires 2/3 wine and 1/3 grape juice. If one prepares these mixtures with a measuring cup, it should be

done before Yom Tov. If one may become ill by drinking any wine, he may instead drink grape juice.

5. One may not say, “This meat is for Pesach,” as this may appear as if he is designating meat for the Korbon Pesach.

Rather one should say, “This meat is for Yom Tov.”

Work after Chatzos During the days of the ‫בית המקדש‬, the ‫ קרבן פסח‬was brought on Erev Pesach after chatzos (midday). Therefore, various ‫( מלאכות‬work activities) are prohibited during this time.

Although there is no ‫ בית המקדש‬at the time of this writing, the prohibitions remain intact and are similar to the prohibitions of Chol Hamoed (with several exceptions). The following is a list of those ‫ מלאכות‬that apply to Erev Pesach after ‫חצות‬: 1. During Chol Hamoed, a ‫מעשה הדיוט‬, simple work, may be performed only if it is ‫לצורך המועד‬, for the sake of the holiday.

For example, one may fasten a hook to the wall on Chol Hamoed to hang up a picture to beautify one’s home for Yom Tov. Similarly, one may assemble an afikomen present of a tricycle on Chol Hamoed for a toddler to ride on Chol Hamoed. However, under normal circumstances one may not perform a ‫ מעשה הדיוט‬if it is not ‫לצורך המועד‬. For example, one may not fix a broken chair that will not be used until after Pesach. Also, before Pesach one may not plan ahead and postpone a ‫ מעשה הדיוט‬activity for Chol Hamoed even if the activity is ‫לצורך המועד‬. These halachos also apply to Erev Pesach after chatzos.

2. During Chol Hamoed, in most cases, one may not perform a ‫מעשה אומן‬, a skilled task requiring a craftsman, even ‫לצורך‬ ‫המועד‬. For example, installing siding or laying bricks are not permissible, even to beautify the home in honor of Yom Tov. There are some major exceptions where even a ‫מעשה אומן‬ is permissible on Chol Hamoed. This includes ‫לצורך אוכל‬ ‫( נפש‬e.g. repairing an oven that broke and could not be fixed before Yom Tov) to avoid major financial loss (e.g. repair a roof to avoid structural or flood damage from rain), and in certain cases ‫( לצורך הגוף‬e.g. fix an only pair of eyeglasses or repair the only toilet in the house). These halachos also apply to Erev Pesach after chatzos.

‫)חצות‬, if it is ‫( לצורך המועד‬e.g. for a Chol Hamoed trip). Under normal conditions, asking a gentile to perform such a task on Chol Hamoed is prohibited.

3. Laundry, Dry Cleaning, Haircuts & Shaving – In general, these four activities may not be performed after ‫ חצות‬on Erev Pesach or during Chol Hamoed. However, after ‫ חצות‬on Erev Pesach one may ask a gentile to perform these tasks ‫לצורך המועד‬.

Therefore, if one forgot to shave, get a haircut or wash/dry clean clothing he may ask a gentile to do so for him ‫לצורך‬ ‫( המועד‬i.e. go to a gentile barber or dry cleaner). However, a gentile may not perform these tasks for a Jew on Chol Hamoed even ‫לצורך המועד‬.

4. Drying clothes in a dryer and ironing clothes (except pleats) are classified as a ‫ מעשה הדיוט‬and are permissible on Chol Hamoed and Erev Pesach after chatzos, under the conditions mentioned above (‫לצורך המועד‬, etc.).

5. It is preferable to clip finger nails and toe nails before ‫חצות‬ on Erev Pesach. ‫בדיעבד‬, this may be done all day. If one clips nails on Erev Pesach, he/she may clip them again on Chol Hamoed. If this was not done on Erev Pesach, the nails may not be clipped on Chol Hamoed unless it is ‫לצורך מצוה‬, (e.g. ‫)טבילה‬.

6. Picking up serviced goods (e.g. at the tailor, shoemaker or dry cleaners) is ‫ מותר‬all day Erev Pesach. Regarding Chol Hamoed, a rav should be consulted. In years when Erev Pesach occurs on Wednesday, an Eruv Tavshilin should be prepared. Some people have the custom of studying the laws and reciting the order of the ‫ קרבן פסח‬after Mincha on Erev Pesach. May the next ‫ערב וליל‬ ‫ פסח‬be the busiest ever, with a new Bais HaMikdash, ‫ונאכל שם מן‬ ‫הזבחים ומן הפסחים במהרה‬ ‫בימינו‬.

However, there is one major difference between Chol Hamoed and Erev Pesach. On Chol Hamoed, one may not hire a gentile to perform the above noted skilled tasks. On Erev Pesach this is permissible ‫לצורך המועד‬. For example, a major car repair (e.g. rebuilding a transmission) may be performed by a gentile on Erev Pesach, even after

9

Wheel of Fortune

I

spotted her at the school’s annual Chinese auction. Her carefully applied makeup and silky sheitel could not quite conceal her awkwardness and vague sense of misery.

Rapidly flipping through my mental Rolodex, I tried to conjure up her name, rank, and serial number. She must be the newcomer on Halifax Avenue…her husband is here for the kollel…four kids, what’s their name?? Weissfield—no, Weissbraun! And she’s Chaviva.

“Hello!” I beamed. “Chaviva Weissbraun, right? I’m Naomi Panzer. Welcome to Toronto!”

A brief smile flashed across her face. “Thanks.”

“So how are you settling in?”

She shrugged. “Quite an adjustment. I still can’t believe I’m here.”

“Can my family have the pleasure of hosting yours this Shabbos?”

STORY CENTER

Her eyes widened. “Wow, that’s really sweet of you. I’ll ask my husband… That’s really amazing, that you would invite a total stranger.”

10 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

I laughed. “Here, we’re all family. We have to be. We have to compensate somewhat for leaving all our nearest and dearest so far away.”

“That’s the part I hate the most!” she suddenly burst out. “I used to have two sisters down the block and my parents not much further.

Now I hardly know a soul! And I need a GPS to find my way to the grocery. I feel like…like I’m on another planet!”

I looked at her trembling lips and downcast face, and my heart melted. Placing my hand on her taut shoulder, I murmured, “My dear, you’ll be fine. I know it. Let me take you on a little journey that began some twenty years ago…”

It was during my third meeting with my husband-to-be when the topic arose. Sitting in

an elegant hotel lounge, we tentatively broached the subject of the Future. As we sipped our overpriced Cokes, we were both delighted to discover that we were passionate about living in Eretz Yisrael.

“There’s no place else I’d rather raise my kids…” I said dreamily. “The kedushah, the simple way of life—you can’t buy that anywhere.”

Efraim was American; I hailed from South Africa. I couldn’t wait to merge the best of our shared cultures in the holiest place in the world.

little girls, I launched a food bank to benefit the needy families in town. I’d go to the market and bakery, bring home delicious produce and baked goods (that I’d raised funds for), and distribute packages discreetly to people’s doors—with the assistance of local teenagers.

“...Now I hardly know a soul! And I need a GPS to find my way to the grocery. I feel like…like I’m on another planet!”

And so we made our firm commitment with the typical self-assurance of the inexperienced. As life would patiently teach us, the most solid plans have their way of going awry. After our marriage, we settled in Eretz Yisrael, only to learn that parenthood was a gift that didn’t always materialize instantly. Month after month passed, and then a year, followed by another.

We decided to relocate to South Africa temporarily to utilize the many opportunities available for us. Efraim was offered a wonderful position in kiruv, and my family was ecstatic to have us close by. But Efraim and I knew that come what may, we would make aliyah at the right time—sooner than later.

Efraim thrived as director of the local kiruv organization, and quickly earned many admirers. We’d frequently host his talmidim who worshipped the very ground he walked on.

We were overjoyed when we realized our greatest dream was about to come true; our first daughter filled our home with laughter and happiness. We could not believe our good fortune when our next few children followed in quick succession.

In addition to raising our adorable

I was able to engage in chessed activities in part because of my incredible cleaning help. In South Africa, with labor being so cheap, people would employ a cleaning woman—if not an actual live-in—for an average of eight hours daily. I didn’t want to get too spoiled by this lifestyle, so I sufficed with “only” four hours a day.

The hardest job I had to face on Motza’ei Shabbos was putting my kids to bed—the dishes had all been washed over Shabbos by good ol’ Moratuwa.

And any free time I had, I was popping in and out of my parents’ house or any one of my siblings’— mind you, I had five relatives who lived on my street!

Life was indeed sweet, with a king-sized cherry on top.

And then came the phone call.

An established school in Toronto was seeking a rebbi; the hanhalah had heard from several different sources that Efraim was the man for the job.

Would Efraim consider it?

No! I wanted to scream. Everything here is going swimmingly. And we’re only here until we can make aliyah. Where does Toronto come in?!

But something about the proposal had piqued Efraim’s interest.

“You know,” he told me cautiously, “Chazal said it’s better to be a tail to lions rather than the head to foxes… Here I’m like this major rabbi—and I’m only in my twenties. I still have so much to learn and gain from people who are greater than me, from

Taken with permission from "Life Unwrapped" by Rochel Braverman (As told to the author by Sarah Taub) 11

people who can guide me.”

We spoke well into the night, rehashing the issue from all angles. The next day, Efraim asked a she’eilah, presenting our dilemma and all possible ramifications. The psak shocked me: Yes, we should accept this offer and move to Toronto. Despite the fact that we were soaring high in South Africa. Despite the fact that my family would be crushed. Despite our firm resolve to settle in Eretz Yisrael. Despite the fact that we didn’t know a soul in Toronto (my in-laws lived in Miami). And despite the fact that I was in my seventh month with my fifth child—and my oldest was the ripe old age of four.

Before I went to break the news to my parents, I steeled myself. Deep in my heart, I knew that I had to make this work—that this was my role as an eizer k’negdo. I would not be that miserable, weepy wife, hampering her husband’s avodas Hashem with her sullen face. His success depended on my attitude, as cliché as that sounded.

So I took a deep breath and gently said my piece.

Unsurprisingly, it did not go over very well.

After the tears, my mother said pensively, “Naomi dear, you’re young and innocent. I want you to think this through: there are three life circumstances that can be grounds for divorce—no family support, a new country, and a new baby. And here you are, jumping in to confront all three at once!”

I felt the tears pricking behind my eyelids. I knew this was all coming out of love.

“Mommy, we’ll manage,” was all I could muster.

We had six different goodbye parties—the biggest of which was attended by three hundred and fifty people.

STORY CENTER

You’re leaving all this behind to be a nobody in Toronto?! I couldn’t help asking myself.

And every time, I kept replaying the tune to which I’d walked down to the chuppah: Lechteich acharai bamidbar—“How you followed Me into the wilderness” (Yirmiyahu 2:2).

I would not be exaggerating if I described our arrival on Canadian shores as reminiscent of

12 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

all those penniless immigrants landing on Ellis Island, thoroughly bewildered.

We didn’t even have a place to call our own—and no basic necessities (it was illegal to transport anything other than personal items). And though we were plenty green, we had no greenbacks to speak of. We ended up with a ramshackle excuse for a house, sans furniture.

I was so naïve that I didn’t grasp initially that there were many levels of kashrus and that not everyone adhered to the same standards. So for the first few weeks, we subsisted on fruits, vegetables, and Gushers—we simply didn’t know what was one hundred percent kosher.

In order to afford some dishes and toys, we decided to take in seminary boarders for the added income.

I’ll never forget the first major snowstorm, a mere week after our arrival. I’d never seen snow before in my life. Minor detail—we didn’t own winter coats, boots, or gloves. (I also didn’t realize that there was such a concept as storm windows—it might’ve helped the draft situation.)

Pasting a smile on my face, I marched into my girls’ room and chirped, “Guess what? Our front lawn is covered with tons and tons of whipped cream!”

They stared out the window, mesmerized, while I gave myself a point for Positive Parenting.

We would weather this storm.

If I would allow myself to crumble, my whole family would fall apart.

country. That became my single-minded mantra.

I felt ready to give back to the community. So I opened a shoe gemach, offering families quality shoes at steeply discounted prices. It was a lot of hard work and I had no funding, but it was well worth it. The families were so grateful, I understood that this was filling a big void.

“...And here you are, jumping in to confront all three at once!”

I resolved to cry only at night. I became a superb actress, singing and laughing throughout the day while inside I’d feel the homesickness threaten to overwhelm me. I put on the show of my life for the sake of my parents and cheerily told them that the snow and ice were so majestically lovely.

I had to learn how to cook a whole new cuisine; I had to adjust to new, and sometimes absurd, social norms.

It was a lot to swallow. Sometimes I felt like I was choking.

It’s all about attitude—about making lemonade out of lemons. I must have repeated this to myself hundreds of times that first year.

The community was very welcoming; I had to overcome my self-imposed barriers.

I realized that the only way to break into society was to become part of all the events and to venture past my comfort zone. And so I volunteered for any chessed function, forced myself to attend boring school dinners, and accepted any Shabbos invitation that came my way.

My concentrated efforts bore fruit: my second year in Toronto, I was appointed PTA president!

Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your

My growing family pitched in, and I was pleased to see the beautiful effects of chessed on my children’s character development—and on the simchah level of the home. Giving naturally created the highest degree of happiness and contentment.

And then came a furniture gemach. I knew all too well the hardships of moving to a place and starting from scratch. It, too, succeeded beyond my wildest expectations.

By now I was on a roll. There was a need for children’s clothing. Maternity wear. Baby food. The list was endless. Gemach after gemach opened, and I was busy full time with this occupation, as was my family. My basement and garage were crammed with furniture, and countless boxes of clothing, shoes, non-perishables, etc.

Ironically, now I was the one welcoming newcomers and doing my best to ease their transition.

The wheel of fortune had thankfully reversed. My husband has since advanced in his chinuch capacity—he now serves on several boards and organizations. Hundreds of people have benefited from the gemachim in myriad ways. My children love their hometown, with good reason. And several of my children have married in-town shidduchim.

We are infinitely grateful for the Divine intervention that led us to our present home.

A home built with much toil and perseverance.

A home of true joy.

And together with the rest of Klal Yisrael, we long to settle in Yerushalayim in the best of times—in our eternal Home.

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Pesach in Auschwitz A Father’s Story

By Aviva Woznica

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erhaps because my father was born on the second night of Pesach, soon after the last of the Seder’s four cups of wine had been consumed, the holiday was forever so close to his heart…. Or perhaps because he was, accordingly, called Pesach, did this festival day become his favorite.

When I replay those precious Pesach nights of the past in my mind, forever a part of my consciousness and soul, I find I cannot help but wonder what had encompassed my parents’ thoughts at the time. Just as I reflect during our contemporary Seders on the Seders of my childhood, I surmise my parents must have reflected on theirs. Surely, they would have seen in

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their own recollections their parents, brothers, and sisters, old and young converged together around the glittering festival-laden tables of their past. But alas, they would have undoubtedly been confronted with the stark torment of their loss.

For in Auschwitz, it was inconceivable to have a Seder or, at least, so it would seem.

It was the most envied of jobs among Auschwitz inmates: to work in the kitchen. A few crumbs, a surreptitiously stolen bite of vegetable or bread would go a long way toward curbing the incessant hunger pangs that most were forced to endure. And if the work detail got a position in the part of the kitchen that served and supplied

meals for the Nazi elite, it was if they had won a lottery!

Here there was always a taste of hearty leftover soup, a rejected turnip, even a piece of meat that could be salvaged. It could be eaten right then and there so no evidence of ‘stealing’ would remain. But the knowledge of having more than the others was, for some, too heavy a burden.

It was often then that an extra half-loaf of bread or a piece of vegetable would find its way into the camp’s barracks at night, carefully smuggled out through trusted volunteer couriers. Risks were commonly taken, and the meager Auschwitz diet was thus supplemented…at least for some. As daring as some of the ventures that the kitchen staff undertook in compassion for others were and in stark defiance of their Nazi masters, none were as bold as the chance they took before Pesach of 1943.

The revered rabbis and Torah scholars of Auschwitz had painstakingly calculated and etched a somewhat cryptic and veiled Jewish calendar on the barrack’s walls. To the inmates, the etched numbers and symbols represented the passage of time, otherwise difficult to assess in the maddening monotony of Auschwitz life.

Of even greater consequence was its communication of the times and dates of the sacred holidays.

They had secretly scratched off the days of the last month and knew that it was already Nissan, the month of Pesach, when the Biblical account of G-d’s miraculous deliverance of the Jewish people from the Egyptian bondage would normally be retold and celebrated, as it had been for thousands of years. Freedom from slavery, freedom to celebrate and fulfill G-d’s commandments, had always been the very essence of the holiday.

But in Auschwitz, it also constituted a dream, the daring hope and aspiration of every Jew that Pesach. How perfect a time for Mashiach to come! As children, the inmates of Auschwitz had carefully filled their cups with wine and

stood at the doors of their beloved parents’ homes on Pesach night. There they had welcomed the Prophet Elijah to taste the wine of redemption, and within the same breath, they had solicited G-d’s revenge against their enemies: “Pour Your wrath upon the nations . . . For they have devoured Jacob and destroyed His Habitation.

Pour Your anger upon them and let Your fiery wrath overtake them. Pursue them with wrath and annihilate them from beneath the Heavens of G-d.”

How fitting it would be to ask the Prophet Elijah to step into Auschwitz right then and there to herald the long-awaited redemption.

Pesach was approaching. It was time for a miracle! Let it happen now!

A little sprinkling of flour was charily brushed away and put aside each day after baking. At least from a distance, such action would be made to appear as part of the routine clean up at the end of the day. Meticulous care was taken so no chometz would come near this flour, that it would remain clean and pure. It did not take too long before enough of this flour was set aside for the making of five matzos.

At great risk one of the camp’s bakers snuck into the kitchen in the dark of night and administered the finishing touches and checks to render the oven kosher for Pesach baking. The preliminary steps of kashering had already been carefully made in the final hours before the kitchen had been locked up for the day. The oven had been scrubbed, cleaned, and torched under camouflage and watchful eyes.

With practiced dexterity and timed precision, five round matzos were rapidly shaped and baked in the midst of the wretchedness and depravity of Auschwitz. A minyan, including the baker and several men of pious distinction, had already been formed; each candidate was carefully screened in advance for his worthiness and commitment before he was invited to partake of the matzo.

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But that was not enough. It was decided that only those who vowed to refrain from eating any chometz throughout the entire week of Pesach would be allowed to participate in fulfilling the G-d-given commandment of eating matzo this Pesach.

The day Pesach Hochmitz had first entered Auschwitz’s gates he had learned of his young family’s catastrophic fate. He knew he walked but several yards from the macabre site of their untimely demise. He was now alone; there would be no one waiting for him. He was free to risk his life if he so chose.

As the holiday had always been close to his heart, Pesach did not hesitate to step forward, and he was honored to receive the cherished half-matzo that was to sustain him through the week.

The size of his portion seemed to have somewhat diminished from what he had first imagined. He swallowed hard as his share of the sacred bread of affliction was handed over to him. He turned to the Heavens to offer a prayer of thanks for the special privilege of having matzo for Pesach and then cried out a desperate plea to the Almighty to help him get through the week. The ten of the minyan had resolved together that it would be best to give away any chometz they received in their rations to others who may want it. It was not hard to find customers for extra portions of bread and porridge.

That year, Pesach and nine other men each survived on a half matzo and water for the entire week of Pesach, working, standing in endless lines of appels and retreating at night to sleep on crowded planks in the stinking holes of Auschwitz’s barracks. There were those who ate their share within the first two days of the week.

Others, like Pesach, let it last until the end of the seventh day, when the man they considered their Rav entreated them to stop their fast. As the eighth day of Pesach was only added to the holiday for those outside the Land of Israel and

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not commanded directly by the Torah, in light of the serious risk of starvation, they were told that they should commence eating the camp’s food immediately.

Years later, at the seder table he shared with his growing family in Canada, Pesach would outline with his thumb the size of the half-matzo he had survived on that week in the camps. The minyan had counted on augmenting their diet with vegetables but at the time “there wasn’t a vegetable in sight”. The possibility of death by starvation had constantly been on his mind.

The minyan had made it through the week. Mashiach did not come. There was no illustrious redemption. But ten men in Auschwitz walked a little taller, their stance slightly prouder. They had defied the heinous enemy and had stood steadfast in their faith. Those close by who had watched the ten sacrifice were emboldened by their actions, uplifted by their contagious spirits. They whispered of the noble feat until a great number in the camp were quickly privy to the knowledge of an entire minyan fulfilling the commandment of eating matzo on the holy day and keeping Pesach in their midst.

Not every member of the minyan survived to conspire to bake matzo the next year, but those who did paved the way for others, and, once again, in 1944, ten men in Auschwitz had matzo for Pesach. By this time, many inmates were aware of what was happening and silently cheered the minyan on. In the end, word of the deed got out, and when the week of Pesach came to a close, merciless reprisal was exacted in the grueling appels of Auschwitz’s fields.

“But a whole Pesach had passed before they knew. I didn’t care what they would do to me!

It was worth it . . . to have matzo on Pesach in spite of them! It was all worth it!” Pesach would say, remembering with satisfaction, a broad grin stretching across his face.

Matzah Thins Inside Chareidim Matzah Bakery

By Faigy Kahn One Pesach I spent the first days of Yom Tov with my grandparents at a hotel, and an elderly couple had a few boxes of super thin matzos. Being a very slow chewer, in addition to having difficulty with matzah in general, I was very intrigued by the almost transparently thin matzos. I mustered up my courage and shyly asked if I could try some. “If you knew how much these cost you would really be ashamed,” the husband said with a huge smile. As I bit into the matzah he generously offered me, I did not feel like I was eating matzah. It tasted as if I was eating a light cracker as thin as a potato chip, easy to chew and swallow. I realized If I had a box of these matzos, it would not be such a struggle to eat all the shiurim by the Seder.

The box cover said Chareidim Matzah Bakery and I made a mental note to remember it by the time next Pesach came around.

4312 New Utrecht Avenue is home to Chareidim Matzah Bakery, creators of the paper-thin matzah. The inside looks just about like every other matzah bakery. There are tables for kneading, rolling, hole making (redeling). On the other side of the room, workers are washing the bowls and other utensils, and in the front of the room the matzos are draped on the poles and go into the ovens. I came here to speak with the owner and manager,

Pessy Weber. She has very little time since she runs the entire operation. “I get here by six AM to make sure everything is in order before baking begins at 8:30 AM,” Mrs.

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Weber tells me.

“I take care of the bookkeeping, hiring, ordering, making sure we have all our supplies.

Baruch Hashem, it is hard but very rewarding work.” The bakery was founded by her husband in 1984. “Shlomo Zalman had previously worked for a few bakeries and was prompted to open a Belzer matzah bakery in Brooklyn.

After consulting with a few people including the Belzer Rebbe shlit”a, he went forward with the bakery plans.” Though they saw immediate success, there was not much differentiating it from other more established bakeries. “Other than the fact that we are Belz, we offered the same product as the other bakeries.”

As a woman, though, Mrs. Weber has a different vantage point than the other people working at matzah bakeries. “Women in general have trouble with standard shmurah matzah. I figured that in order to differentiate ourselves and to create a loyal and exclusive customer base we should attempt to make our matzos thinner and easier to swallow and digest.” The response to the new-style matzah was overwhelmingly positive. “We got feedback from people people of many backgrounds telling us how much they love the matzah.

Those with gastrointestinal issues told us that they had an easier time digesting the matzah.

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Others told us that although they couldn’t chew regular matzah, they were able to eat ours. Patients in the hospital let me know how much it helped them. Some who have celiac disease claimed that they were helped, too. Then there were people who simply loved the texture of our matzos.”

When I ask why nobody has copied their trademark thin matzos yet, Mrs. Weber is quick to explain the difficulty behind making these matzos. “They are much more difficult to roll out. there is more loss than with regular matzos during preparations as well as in the oven. We have to be more careful when we pack them up because thin matzos are much more fragile. As opposed to other bakeries we pack matzos by number of matzos rather than by weight. We put ten matzos in every box, which weighs about nine and a half ounces. Training in workers is harder because we use a different, more difficult process. We can’t just hire people from other bakeries and put them in the assembly line, so to speak. Each run takes a little more time, and the extra time from all the runs adds up, which means we can’t produce as many matzos as other bakeries, even if we expand our facility. All these reasons make our matzos more expensive than others.”

Mrs. Weber had, at that point, begun running day-to-day operations of the bakery because her husband fell ill. “He passed away when our youngest was only six years old,” Mrs. Weber tells me, without any self-pity. She knew that she couldn't feel sorry for herself and that she had to continue working to su-

pport her young family. “Baruch Hashem, we have the best children.

My schedule is unforgiving but they made it easy for me. Nobody complained or acted out. Each child helped the next and they made it work. I know that each parent says that about their children, but I have the story to prove it,” she says with pride in her voice.

I attempt to steer the conversation towards the novelty of a woman overseeing a Chassidish matzah bakery, but Mrs. Weber dispels that notion and tells me, to my surprise, that she has never encountered any issues. “There are many

shailos that come up. No Rav or Rebbe has ever refused to meet with me or given me a hard time. I go to the farms to attend wheat cutting in the summer.

There are numerous Rabbonim and Mashgichim present and they discuss all matters with me without any hesitation.

The yungeleit who work for me treat me with the utmost respect. There never have been any obstacles or issues when it comes to that.”

The wheat cutting ordeal is amongst the most arduous of the many complicated and difficult ones in the matzah baking process. “We have to check the weather to make sure it is nice and dry. When we get there, we need to check the wheat and be certain that it is it is in perfect condition for us to be able to cut it and store it safely without allowing it to get moist.” Mrs. Weber laments the times they went to a field and

found that the grains were unusable. One year they had to go to a field near Buffalo. “We go there with Mashgichim, Rabbonim and others to inspect everything and make sure it was kosher for us to use, only to find it completely unacceptable. We had to scramble to find another supplier, which is easier said than done. We process about 160,000 pounds of wheat every year.”

After c utting, t h e wheat is stored in burlap bags in a dry location until the baking season begins.

It has to be shmurah from the time of cutting until the time of baking. “We start soon after Sukkos. We do all our milling in-house and usually have a week's supply of flour ground. Halachically, there must be at least three days between milling and making matzah.”

Mrs. Weber arrives at the bakery at 6 a.m., the first dough begins at around 8 a.m. and they bake until 8 p.m. “We have about 50 people working, between volunteers and yungeleit. Each run can last a maximum of seventeen and a half minutes. After we finish making our matzos, we have chaburos who come and bake until late into the night.”

Over the last few years production has become more difficult. “We suffer from the same labor shortage as everyone else. It is very difficult to get people to work. Since Covid we have produced much less matzah than usual. Material costs have also increased immensely, which is why we have had to increase our prices.”

Mrs. Weber lauds her relationship with her customers who are who are truly loyal to her.

“It is not only because we deliver a product like no other, it is also because they know us and trust us. Trust is a major factor. They know that we aren’t increasing our prices because we are looking to increase our profits, it is only because we were forced to.”

Mrs. Weber is a dynamo. She works all day, and doesn’t ask for help.

She hires the workers, finds volunteers, orders supplies, deals with customers and does the bookkeeping. Frankly I am surprised that she doesn’t do the kneading, rolling, and baking herself. I ask her how she can do everything, and if it doesn’t get to be too much for her.

“When you are enthusiastic about what you do, it is not really work,” she states. Though it is an old trope and cliché, she truly exudes the mark of a person who takes great pleasure in what they do. She quickly adds, “Don’t get me wrong. It is exhausting. But loving what you do and knowing that people appreciate your product gives plenty of satisfaction and motivates me to keep going.”

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This Month in History

The Titanic April 15, 1912

The Titanic, a British luxury passenger liner that sank during its maiden voyage.

RMS Titanic was a British passenger liner, which sank in the North Atlantic Ocean on 15 April 1912 after striking an iceberg during her maiden voyage from Southampton, UK, to New York City.

The Titanic

HISTORY CENTER

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he RMS Titanic, a luxury steamship, Cunard’s Mauretania began service in 1907 sank in the early hours of April 15, and quickly set a speed record for the fastest 1912, off the coast of Newfoundland average speed during a transatlantic crossing in the North Atlantic af(23.69 knots or 27.26 mph), a titter sideswiping an iceberg le that it held for 22 years.

Of the 2,240 during its maiden voyage.

Cunard’s other masterpiece, passengers Of the 2,240 passengers Lusitania, launched the same and crew on and crew on board, more year and was lauded for its board, more than 1,500 lost their lives spectacular interiors. Lusitathan 1,500 in the disaster. Titanic has nia met its tragic end on May 7, lost their inspired countless books, 1915, when a torpedo fired by a lives in the articles and films (including German U-boat sunk the ship, disaster. the 1997 “Titanic” movie killing nearly 1,200 of the 1,959 starring Kate Winslet and people on board and precipitaLeonardo DiCaprio), and ting the United States’ entry into World War I. the ship's story has entered the public consThe same year that Cunard unveiled its two ciousness as a cautionary tale about the perils magnificent liners, of human hubris.

J. Bruce Ismay, chief executive of he Titanic was the product of intenWhite Star, discusse competition among rival shipping sed the construclines in the first half of the 20th cention of three large tury. In particular, the White Star Line found ships with William itself in a battle for steamship primacy with J. Pirrie, chairman Cunard, a venerable British firm with two of the shipbuilding standout ships that ranked among the most company Harland sophisticated and luxurious of their time. and Wolff. Part of a

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Construction of the Olympic (right) and the Titanic in the shipyard of Harland and Wolff, Belfast, Northern Ireland.

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ccording to some hypotheses, Titanic was doomed from the start by a design that many lauded as state-of-the-art.

The Olympic-class ships featured a double bottom and 15 watertight bulkhead compartments equipped with electric watertight doors that could be operated individually or simultaneously by a switch on the bridge.

new “Olympic” class of liners, each ship would measure 882 feet in length and 92.5 feet at their broadest point, making them the largest of their time.

In March 1909, work began in the massive Harland and Wolff shipyard in Belfast, Ireland, on the second of these three ocean liners, Titanic, and continued nonstop for two years.

It was these watertight bulkheads that inspired Shipbuilder magazine, in a special issue devoted to the Olympic liners, to deem them “practically unsinkable.”

But the watertight compartment design contained a flaw that was a critical factor in Titanic’s sinking: While the individual bulkheads were indeed watertight, the walls separating the bulkheads extended only a few feet above

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n May 31, 1911, Titanic’s immense hull–the largest movable manmade object in the world at the time– made its way down the slipways and into the River Lagan in Belfast.

More than 100,000 people attended the launching, which took just over a minute and went off without a hitch.

The hull was immediately towed to a mammoth fitting-out dock where thousands of workers would spend most of the next year building the ship’s decks, constructing her lavish interiors and installing the 29 giant boilers that would power her two main steam engines.

the water line, so water could pour from one compartment into another, especially if the ship began to list or pitch forward.

The Titanic

The second critical safety lapse that contribu-

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ted to the loss of so many lives was the inadequate number of lifeboats carried on Titanic. A mere 16 boats, plus four Engelhardt “collapsibles,” could accommodate just 1,178 people. Titanic could carry up to 2,435 passengers, and a crew of approximately 900 brought her capacity to more than 3,300 people.

souls were high-ranking officials, wealthy industrialists, dignitaries and celebrities. First and foremost was the White Star Line’s managing director, J. Bruce Ismay, accompanied

by Thomas Andrews, the ship’s builder from and heiress Harland and Wolff.

The crew of the Titanic

As a result, even if the lifeboats were loaded to full capacity during an emergency evacuation, there were available seats for only one-third of those on board. While unthinkably inadequate by ...widow today’s standards, Titanic’s Margaret “Molly” supply of lifeboats actually Brown, who would exceeded the British Board earn her nickname of Trade’s requirements.

Absent was financier J.P. Morgan, whose International Mercantile “The Unsinkable Marine shipping trust Molly Brown” by itanic created controlled the White helping to maintain quite a stir when Star Line and who had calm and order it departed for its selected Ismay as a while the lifeboats maiden voyage from Soucompany officer. Morwere being loaded thampton, England, on gan had and boosting the April 10, 1912. After stops planned spirits of her fellow in Cherbourg, France, and to join survivors.

Queenstown (now known his assoas Cobh), Ireland, the ship ciates on set sail for New York with 2,240 passengers and Titanic but canceled at the last crew—or “souls,” the expression then used in minute when some business mathe shipping intters delayed him. dustry, usually The wealthiest passenger was in connection John Jacob Astor IV, heir to the with a sinking— Astor family fortune, who had on board. made waves a year earlier by

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HISTORY CENTER

As befitting the first transatlantic crossing of the world’s most celebrated ship, many of these

Jacob Astor

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marrying 18-year-old Madeleine Talmadge Force, a young woman 29 years his junior, shortly after divorcing his first wife.

The first-class stairway, known as the Grand Staircase.

Other notable passengers included the elderly owner of Macy’s, Isidor Straus, and his wife Ida;

A parlour suite on the Titanic.

After assessing the situation, the captain and chief engineer concluded that it was unlikely it had caused any damage that could affect the hull structure, and the stokers were ordered to continue controlling the fire at sea.

According to a theory put forth by a small number of Titanic experts, the fire became uncontrollable after the ship left Southampton, forcing the crew to attempt a full-speed crossing; moving at such a fast pace, they were unable to avoid the fatal collision with the iceberg. industrialist Benjamin Guggenheim, accompanied by his mistress, valet and chauffeur; and widow and heiress Margaret “Molly” Brown, who would earn her nickname “The Unsinkable Molly Brown” by helping to maintain calm and order while the lifeboats were being loaded and boosting the spirits of her fellow survivors.

The employees attending to this collection of First Class luminaries were mostly traveling Second Class, along with academics, tourists, journalists and others who would enjoy a level of service and accommodations equivalent to First Class on most other ships.

Widow and heiress Margaret “Molly” Brown.

But by far the largest group of passengers was in Third Class: more than 700, exceeding the other two levels combined.

Some had paid less than $20 to make the crossing. It was Third Class that was the major source of profit for shipping lines like White Star, and Titanic was designed to offer these passengers accommodations and amenities superior to those found in Third Class on any other ship of that era.

Another unsettling event took place when Titanic left the Southampton dock. As she got underway, she narrowly escaped a collision with the America Line’s S.S. New York. Superstitious Titanic buffs sometimes point to this as the worst kind of omen for a ship departing on her maiden voyage.

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n April 14, after four days of uneventful sailing, Titanic received sporadic reports of ice from other ships, but she was sailing on calm seas under a moonless, clear sky.

At about 11:30 p.m., a lookout saw an iceberg coming out of a slight haze dead ahead, then rang the warning bell and telephoned the bridge. The engines were quickly reversed and the ship was turned sharply—instead of making direct impact, Titanic seemed to graze along the side of the berg, sprinkling ice fragments on the forward deck.

Sensing no collision, the lookouts were relieved. They

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itanic’s departure from Southampton on April 10 was not without some oddities. A small coal fire was discovered in one of her bunkers–an alarming but not uncommon occurrence on steamships of the day. Stokers hosed down the smoldering coal and shoveled it aside to reach the base of the blaze.

Instructor T.W. McCawley demonstrating the rowing machine in the gymnasium on the Titanic.

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Newspaper headlines detail the tragic sinking of the R.M.S. Titanic which, after being hailed as unsinkable, sank on its maiden voyage.

had no idea that the iceberg had a jagged underwater spur, which slashed a 300-foot gash in the hull below the ship’s waterline.

Newspaper boy after the Titanic's sinking, 1912.

nearly every lifeboat would be launched woefully under-filled, some with only a handful of passengers.

By the time the captain toured the damaged area with Harland and Wolff’s Thomas Andrews, five compartments were already filling with seawater, and the bow of the doomed ship was alarmingly pitched downward, allowing seawater to pour from one bulkhead into the neighboring compartment.

Andrews did a quick calculation and estimated that Titanic might remain afloat for an hour and a half, perhaps slightly more. At that point the captain, who had already instructed his wireless operator to call for help, ordered the lifeboats to be loaded.

HISTORY CENTER

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little more than an hour after contact with the iceberg, a largely disorganized and haphazard evacuation began with the lowering of the first lifeboat. The craft was designed to hold 65 people; it left with only 28 aboard.

Tragically, this was to be the norm: During the confusion and chaos during the precious hours before Titanic plunged into the sea,

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In compliance with the law of the sea, women and children boarded the boats first; only when there were no women or children nearby were men permitted to board. Yet many of the victims were in fact women and children, the result of disorderly procedures that failed to get them to the boats in the first place.

Exceeding Andrews’ prediction, Titanic stubbornly stayed afloat for close to three hours.

Those hours witnessed acts of craven cowardice and extraordinary bravery.

Hundreds of human dramas unfolded between the order to load the lifeboats and the ship’s final plunge: Men saw off wives and children, families were separated in the confusion and selfless individuals gave up their spots to remain with loved ones or allow a more vulnerable passenger to escape.

In the end, 706 people survived the sinking of the Titanic.

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he ship’s most illustrious passengers each responded to the circumstances with conduct that has become an integral part of the Titanic legend.

Ismay, the White Star managing director, helped load some of the boats and later stepped Survivors from the Titanic being lifted aboard the Carpathia, April 15, 1912.

The bow of the Titanic, photographed by the remotely operated vehicle (ROV) Hercules during a 2004 expedition to the wreck.

tired to their cabin and perished together.

Benjamin Guggenheim and his valet returned to their rooms and changed into formal evening dress; emerging onto the deck, he famously declared, “We are dressed in our best and are prepared to go down like gentlemen.”

Molly Brown helped load the boats and finally was forced into one of the last to leave.

She implored its crewmen to turn back for survivors, but they refused, fearing they would be swamped by desperate people trying to escape the icy seas.

Titanic, nearly perpendicular and with many of her lights onto a collapsible as it was still aglow, finally dove beneath being lowered. Although no the ocean’s surface at about 2:20 We are dressed women or children were in a.m. on April 15, 1912. Throughout in our best and the vicinity when he abanare prepared the morning, Cunard’s Carpathia, doned ship, he would never to go down like after receiving Titanic’s distress live down the ignominy of gentlemen.” call at midnight and steaming at surviving the disaster while full speed while dodging ice floes so many others perished. all night, rounded up all of the liThomas Andrews, Titanic’s chief designer, was feboats. They contained only 705 survivors. last seen in the First Class smoking room, staring blankly at a painting of a ship on the wall. Astor deposited his wife Madeleine into a lifeboat and, remarking that she was pregnant, asked if he could accompany her; refused entry, he managed to kiss her goodbye just before the boat was lowered away.

Although offered a seat on account of his age, Isidor Straus refused any special consideration, and his wife Ida would not leave her husband behind. The couple reA view of the captain's bathtub in the Titanic wreckage.

A distress call sent by the Titanic at approximately 1:40 AM on April 15, 1912.

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&

Hair Makeup Tips and Tricks by

H

Now the Eyes!

1, First use a concealer or primer to prime the eye lids. 2, Eye shadow.

For eye shadow, start with a cream shadow and then set it with a powder eyeshadow.

1, Always start with a 3, Eye liner. When clean face. 2, Moisturize S S E using eyeliner, choose a using your favorite S, ST MA TI waterproof gel eyeliner and a moisturizer. 3, Use a primer.

R KEUP A waterproof mascara.

I like MAC Prep and Prime Primer (1, 2) for most skin types. 4, Next Next set the skin using a setting spray. is the foundation. Use a natural looking The trick to long lasting makeup is to use foundation that is not heavy. The reason very lightweight products that won’t cake for this is if you use something heavy, it will up the next day. look cakey and oily the next day. 5, Use a lightweight concealer under the eyes & set If you use these tips and tricks, you will with a powder, use a translucent powder have makeup that will last through the to set the skin and under the eyes. 6, When Yom Tov. using blush, use a cream blush first and Chag Sameach then a powder blush on top.

Good s Trick

26 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

1

IE M CA

HAIR & MAKEUP CENTER

ere are some tips on how to have your makeup last throughout Yom Tov!

Xoxo, Cami

In order to get a flawless makeup application it is vital to prepare the skin well. Starting with a clean face is key! Before I apply any products on the skin, I use a cleanser or a cleaning wipe to cleanse the skin. Neutrogena wipes (3) are my favorite for cleaning the skin. I use the wipes to clean around the eyes,nose, and lips to take off any leftover makeup or products.

2

3

Products: Use dry shampoo (1) at the roots after styling to absorb any excess oils on the scalp. This will maintain a dry looking head. For brunettes, use a brunette colored dry shampoo (2). For blondes, use any other

1

TYLIST

RS

Styling: Don’t over work your hair when styling it so you avoid adding grease.

We recommend doing your curls/waves slightly tighter then you want this way it will have good strong lasting power.

Sleeping with hair done: Before going to bed flip your hair forward and make a pony at the top of your head as close to the hair line as possible, use a scrunchy (3) to tie it up and sleep that way, this way when you get up in S S the morning and let your RO YO CHEVED G hair down it will be full and beautiful.

AI

Hair prep: This is very important. Make sure to wash your hair thoroughly, shampoo twice, condition once.

(For greasy hair, don’t condition or do so very slightly)

one*. Do not put in any oils on the bottom of your hair (unless your hair is super thick and dry.)

2

,H

H

ere’s how to get your hair to last on Yom Tov.

Styling your hair on Yom Tov: Topsy tails are very in now.

3

You can make yourself a topsy tail half pony to add some excitement to your hair, this can be done in a full pony as well.

I hope you find these tips helpful.

Xoxo Yocheved

Good s Trick

4

5

When it comes to frizzy hair, there are many different ways to get it under control.

1- Use a good mousse, such as Tresemme Extra Hold (4) or L’Oréal Curl Boost (5). Those products can help keep frizzy hair tame.

2- Here’s a cool and brilliant trick that my cousin used to do growing up. After taking a shower in the evening, tie a bandana tightly around your head and go to sleep with it on. This will ensure your hair dries super flat and smooth.

When you wake up in the morning and take off the bandana, most of the frizz will be gone.

3- Another good idea to control frizzy hair is to use a strong hair spray around your hairline, and then comb it back into a pony. This will give you a smooth, clean & polished pony tail. You can use Tresemme Extra Hold (6) or Got2be hairspray (7).

6

7

*Disclaimer; check in with your Rabbi about products that are ok for you to use on Pesach.

27

g n i n for a Cle Pesach, with “help” and . s s e n i happ Cleaners • Taken to the rrors • Cleaning Ho dy y Cleaning La m h it w g in d • Bon

28 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

Taken to the Cleaners

By Leah Feuer

My house is still flying from Purim. I clean up leftover food particles stuck to my furniture, figuring out what to do with the adorably themed yet useless candy Mishloach Manos, and put away anything adults can eat without contracting diabetes. I am laser focused on getting the house ready for Pesach before my daughter comes home from seminary and my two sons from yeshiva in Eretz Yisrael. With a family of seven children this is the most chaotic time. My husband (who is, to be honest, a little schlumpy) suddenly turns into a Brisker (he did not get in when he was younger) when it comes to getting rid of chametz. Every speck of dust brings up a question of an issur D’oraysa according to him. To accommodate his neurosis and to protect the kids from my outbursts if they don’t shake themselves off after every meal, we agreed to hire a full time cleaning lady. “16 DOLLARS AN HOUR??????” he screamed, “PLUS MONEY FOR THE BUS????” “That is the going rate,” I calmly responded. I had a feeling that he would react this way, which is why I hired her before consulting him. “It’s inflation,” I assured him confidently, pretending to know what that means or how it works. He called a friend and was shocked, SHOCKED to hear that actually, I am paying slightly below the average price. Because he was so surprised, I decided to find out what the going rates were around the globe. It turns out that the cleaning ladies have a clandestine cabal which is secretly coordinating and fixing the price in the United States.

I am told that in Lakewood and Monsey they also charge between 15 and 17, and sometimes even 20 dollars an hour. The rate is about 18 to 20 dollars in Cleveland and Chicago. “They charge about 30 dollars here in Miami. Before Covid it was about 20, but there are now so many people here all year round that the price went up to 30,” my brotherin-law tells me. In Los Angeles the rates are even higher. “We pay 30 dollars on a good day. We sometimes even pay 40 dollars. It is crazy,” an old friend tells me. “Can you imagine how much my husband gripes when we pay the cleaning lady before Pesach? I think she goes

on a five-star vacation over Pesach and still has a ton of money left over after we pay her.”

I called my cousin in Yerushalayim, and she hemmed and hawed, trying to avoid the question. “Taamin li, it is crazy here as well,” she said, forgetting that I was in seminary almost twenty-five years ago. (The only Hebrew words I currently use are Baruch Hashem and Amen.)

After pushing her to give me an exact amount she says somewhat embarrassedly, “I pay seventy shekel an hour (21.58 American dollars at the time of this writing). There are now fewer immigrants here and everybody grabs any help they can get, especially chutznikim living here.”

She then goes on a rant about the newlywed English couple on the top floor who use her cleaning lady for three hours every day. “Why does a young couple need so much help? They just got married a few months ago and she doesn’t even work. She says she sets sheitels. I think she only does her own four sheitels as well as her sister-in-law’s. The people who don’t need help but hire help anyway are the ones pushing up the price.” These sky-high prices are only valid in Yerushalayim, she assures me. “That’s where the affluent people live. The people on the outskirts and in moshavim pay fifty shekel an hour, (15.41 USD).” In Europe things are slightly less expensive. I found that the average price in Manchester is 10 pounds. (No, not the weight, the currency. Yes, I did make that embarrassing mistake.) London is pricier, according to my source (my sister, but I have always DESPERATELY wanted to use this expression. Makes me feel professional.) Over there they pay between 13 and 15 pounds. (Still the currency, between 17 and 20 USD.) In Zurich a cleaning lady runs about 25 francs (27 USD) an hour. It turns out the cheapest cleaning help can be found in Antwerp. “It used to be 6 euro but since Covid none of them wanna work for less than 8 euros (9 USD),” my husband’s very distant cousin sighs. I am about to teleport through the phone and let's say politely, without any anger, sarcasm or sneering, explain to her that she's getting away with bubkes. The only thing stopping me are the words from my sister in Detroit when asked how much a cleaning lady charges there, "I'm not sure. Over here people actually clean their homes without hiring extra help."

29

30 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

Cleaning Horrors As told to Meir Segal

Pesach time in large messy households like mine means scrambling to get extra hours from our cleaning lady. It's always a rush to be first to book extra time because there are so many families who are looking for more help. Baruch Hashem, we had our help for about four years and were very happy with her. Viola was reliable, trustworthy, punctual, worked quickly and efficiently, plus the house did not reek of Fabulosa every time she mopped the floors. Every year a few weeks before Purim I asked Viola if she could work more hours and thankfully, she agreed.

A couple of weeks before Pesach, after my sons were back from Yeshiva for Bein Hazmanim, my husband went to the liquor cabinet to take stock of what was left. He was thinking of donating his collection to a Gemach instead of selling it. “Chani, do you remember the bottles being so low?” he asked me. I took a closer look at them and also found that their levels were all noticeably lower. I didn’t think we had used them since around Chanukah time and was worried. “Do you think it was one of the boys?” I asked my husband, hoping he would consider that option ludicrous. Unfortunately, he also thought it was the most logical explanation. “They just came back from yeshiva. I don’t think it was any of the younger ones.” We decided to mark the bottles to see how much was left, and check them again a couple of days later. For the next few days I davened as if it was Yom

Kippur, hoping that we were mistaken and it was all our imagination.

After two days we opened the cabinets and checked again. All the bottles were at the same level. However, one Scotch that had the least amount left was mysteriously missing. It was not with the other bottles. I checked the trash and recycling but knew it wouldn’t be there because the cleaning lady had disposed of the bags that day. My husband and I were torn about how to handle this. “It is best to confront them straight on. There is no point beating around the bush,” my husband believed. I felt that since we did not know which one of our sons was the culprit we should not accuse both of them. That very night we went to our Rav who agreed with me and suggested that we call our sons into my husband’s study separately and ask each if they had noticed anything going on with that cabinet. Both of them swore that they did not know anything about it, and both looked sincere. We were at a loss and did not know what to do.

We stayed up all night discussing it, analyzing whatever strange behavior we had seen from them, but it was hard. They were both getting up after nine o’clock, but that could be regular Bein Hazmanim behavior. It was a difficult few days because the atmosphere in the house was one of suspicion. A couple of days after we confronted our sons something strange happened. My daughter Rivky came running upstairs saying Viola sent her up so she could clean the floors.

I thought I had seen her clean the floors earlier so I headed downstairs to check on her. As I walked down, I saw Viola dart out of the living room and into the kitchen. I asked why she had sent Rivky upstairs and she said that she had forgotten if she already

mopped the living room, so she was going to do that floor again. I found it strange but did not think much of it. I went into the living room to get a cookbook and saw the door to the liquor cabinet open. Suddenly it dawned on me. Viola was the secret alcoholic, which made a lot more sense.

The amount of liquor missing was too much to have happened within the week since my boys came home from yeshiva. Too afraid to confront her on my own, I called my husband to come home from work. While I was waiting for him, weird thoughts went through my mind. “What if I kept Viola until Pesach? I really need help now. Is it so bad that she is a drunk? I will ensure she doesn’t drink while she is here.”

As soon as my husband came home I asked him if there was any validity to my thoughts. “I understand that you are nervous about Pesach but there is no choice. If she not only dared to drink on the job but also stole our alcohol, she cannot to be trusted. Is her cleaning worth anything? Can we entrust the safety of our children to her?”

I knew he was right even before I said anything, but the fear of Pesach was so overwhelming to me that I excused these thoughts and twisted logic. After firing her, my husband and I apologized to our sons and asked them for extra help until Pesach. Baruch Hashem everyone participated, and cleaning was a breeze. Pesach was made without a cleaning lady and it was just fine. The main thing I learned was that just like Yom Kippur, I had an unreasonable fear of Pesach, but my husband and children taught me that the task is not as monumental as it sounds. It was a lesson worth learning even if we had to learn it through a drunken cleaning lady.

31

Bonding with my Cleaning Lady She stood in my doorway, six feet tall, with short hair, broad shoulders and a take-no-prisoners attitude.

"Hi, I Erika," she said in Hungarian-accented English, extending a firm handshake. Her eyes swept across the expanse of my living room and kitchen. "Mees, your house ees a mess!"

I quaked in the face of her Eastern European contempt and shamefacedly showed her to the cleaning supplies.

I have had other cleaning ladies before -- young and old, some who liked to chat with me, others who liked to talk on their cell phones. Some had been slow and meticulous, others slap-bang efficient. But I had never had anyone like Erika.

Yes, she washed my floors and cleaned my bathrooms, but she also reorganized my closets and repaired my appliances. She was old enough to be my mother, yet she carried three heavy loads of laundry, stacked one atop the other, down two flights of stairs to my basement with frightening speed. There was nothing she couldn't do, and I was terrified of her.

"Gila, isn't this what we're paying Erika for?" my husband would ask as I feverishly swept through the house on Tuesday nights, picking up every stray speck of dirt on the floor.

But he didn't understand. He didn't have to undergo her silent inspections, to see her raised eyebrow as she encountered a kitchen full of dirty dishes from the night before. All my inadequacies were exposed to her, and I felt the need to utter periodic comments about my kids, shaking my head in exasperation as we’d enter a bedroom full of dirty laundry on the floor.

I also made constant reference to my work, to helpfully remind her that even though Wednesday was my day off, I did work the other days of the week, and it only looked like I was home all day and still couldn't manage to keep my house straight.

But we both knew that I wasn't fooling anyone. I was sure that if I walked into Erika's apartment, I would see color-coded closets and garbage cans you could eat out of, even though she worked full time.

32 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

At the beginning, Erika would complain about how hard she worked by me, and several times she threatened to leave if she found an easier job. She did eventually find her dream job, an older couple with no little children and a small, neat house, who were willing to pay her even more than I was. But Erika didn't leave me. She rearranged her schedule to fit both of us in.

She loved my children. I sometimes wondered if that's what kept her coming. My 3-year-old would cry, "Erika! Erika!" as she walked through the door, and she would lift him up, giggling, until he touched the ceiling. She had a 5-year-old son, and on the Wednesdays when school was closed, she would bring Daniel to play with my boys while she cleaned.

One day, she told me that she had given up her job at the dream house. I was surprised.

"They not want me to bring Daniel there,” she explained.

“When school is closed, what I should do? But they not want small children. Not nice people, not like you."

I glowed with pride. We were beginning to understand each other.

Erika had two daughters still living in Hungary, both in their 20’s. She had not seen them since she came to America more than ten years ago.

She and her husband started a new life here, with Daniel, their American son, and she was strong and proud. I wondered about her, wondered how it felt

not to have seen your daughters for ten years, to start over in a new country, with a new language, at her age -- or at any age.

She was complacent, but not happy. As we passed each other, she carrying the laundry, I on the way in and out from my errands, we would greet each other with a sigh, she from her load, I, in commiseration, with mine. Life is hard, she was always saying, and she was worn out from it all.

She rarely mentioned her daughters. Once, I asked about them, asked whether they were married. Were there grandchildren? She shook her head, as she gazed at my children playing. “Maybe someday,” she said sadly.

Erika stayed with us for a year and a half, and in the end, it was I who left her. When I told her we were moving overseas, she was upset. "Oh, mees, why you leaving? You not like it here? America not so bad." I offered to take her with us to Israel and she gave a rare chuckle.

"Eef you think my English bad, you hear my Hebrew!"

As the moving date approached, she would ask with increasing frequency, "You really going, mees? Maybe I come with you."

I marveled at her attachment. Here she had seemed, when we first met, so strong and independent and proud. But inside she needed what we all need -- love and warmth and acceptance. In the end, it didn't really matter that she was uber-organized and I just barely muddled through my days.

Or that I was the employer and she the foreign worker with poor English skills. We'd both gotten past our condescension and prejudices, and life, after all, does have a way of humbling and equalizing all of us, as I was about to find out with my own immigrant experience.

I appreciate now what Erika went through.

What it feels like to be spoken down to, as if you are a child, by people who may not have anywhere near your education or life experience, just because the broken words coming out of your mouth sound childlike. How it feels for a formerly competent adult to be reduced to squinting in confusion when filling out forms, or speaking to appliance repairmen and being asked kindly, condescendingly, if there's someone around who can help translate for you.

I especially appreciate the courage required to pick

up a family and pack up a life, and start over in a foreign land, even if it means you might never rise above cleaning houses for a living, in order to grant your children a chance for a better life.

At the same time though, there was a world of difference between my immigrant experience and Erika's. She made the drastic move in search of better economic conditions, and perhaps to escape some of that Eastern European repression. I was not escaping anything and was certainly not expecting to better my life financially. Rather, the day I made aliyah was one of the most spiritually exhilarating days of my life. As I stepped off that plane, I bore not only the weight of my 17 suitcases, but also the weight of history. Sure, I couldn’t properly conjugate my verbs. But I was not a foreigner, not a "greener." I did not have the identity crisis that Erika had, or that my great-great-grandparents no doubt had when they immigrated to America, trying to figure out who they were in this strange new world and where they fit in a society they did not understand. No; on that momentous day, I knew exactly who I was.

I was a Jew coming home.

That is not to say that I haven't since felt like a bumbling immigrant. But, like Erika, we've worked and struggled and gotten through some rough spots, because we wanted to grant our children a chance for a better life -- to live as Jews as fully as possible, in the land that Hashem watches over lovingly. While I may never rise above that telltale American accent, my children will, God willing, be Children of Israel in every sense of the word. And, unlike Erika, I am lucky enough to carry with me a conviction that what I am doing is deeply significant -- both for me and the Jewish people as a whole -- which keeps me smiling even through the rough spots and keeps me from falling prey to Erika's worn-out sighs.

I called her a few months after we moved to Israel.

"Mees! How are you?" She exclaimed. "How are children?"

"We're all doing well. How does Daniel like school this year?"

"Very good. He learning to read now," she said, with obvious pride in her voice. Maybe she would always be an immigrant, but her son was learning English as a full-fledged American. I related to that now as I could not have the previous year before we went through the same experience.

"So, mees" she continued, "I miss you. When you coming back?"

“When are you coming to Israel?” I rejoined.

We both laughed. We knew that for each of us, there was no going back.

33

Behind thescenes The team in charge of this monumental task is Housekeeping, headed by its unlikely leader, Carlos Albert.

g n i p e e k e s u Ho

By Meir Segal

BTS BORO PARK CENTER

M

ost of us expect a nursing home or rehab center to be a very clean and sterile place. After all, these places are filled with elderly patients and other people who are immunocompromised. Walking through the Boro Park Center, however, one would think it is a luxurious ICU. Not because it looks like an intensive care unit, but the cleanliness and hygiene would make every ICU proud. lobby boasts a warm, shining and sparklingly welcome entrance.

The hallways are spotless, the elevator keys have no fingerprints, and the ‘washrooms’ are cleaner than my kitchen. For a nursing home and rehab center with over five hundred and ten patients and another five hundred employees to be kept in such pristine condition is no easy task. Many residents and their families are amazed when they first encounter the cleanliness they experience at the Center. The team in charge of this monumen-

34 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

tal task is the housekeeping team headed by its unlikely leader, Carlos Albert.

“My parents came here from Puerto Rico and taught me the value of hard work. I worked at odd jobs for a while until one day I got an opportunity to work at the predecessor of the Center when some of the workers went on strike. After the strike ended, I stayed on.” For two years, Carlos worked in the housekeeping department,

and later transferred to another department where he worked for a number of years. When the current management took over, they offered Carlos a job as manager of his department.

“After a couple of years, I was informed that there were issues in housekeeping. Things were dirty, workers didn’t shop, or did not do their work properly. Because of my previous experience and the work I did as manager of the other division, I was hired to manage housekeeping.”

Twenty-five years of hard Housekeeping Employ ee Adria work, loyalty, punctuality and with Rivky from rec reation. reliability later and Carlos is adds laughingly, leading a forty-seven person team in charge of “basically the entire building. We make sure the cleaning and maintaining the Boro Park Center. rooms are cleaned daily, the rooms are cleaned after every discharge, and we ensure that there arlos oversees everything to do with the is no cross contamination. We disinfect the areas team. I have to interview potential worand follow proper procedures to make sure other kers and decide whether to hire them. people don’t get sick.”

It is also my responsibility to fire someone should the need arise.” But Carlos says that although it is With forty seven workers it is difficult to keep hard, firing is not the most difficult thing. track of who is in charge of what at which time.

“It is uncomfortable, but I Carlos prepares a four-week flexible schedule, must think about what is which allows him to insert a name when someoin the best interest of the ne takes off or is out sick. “When our employees Center and the team. The arrive in the morning, they must sign in. There are most challenging aspect two parts to the building: west and east. Each emof my job is to retain my ployee has his destination and job predetermined best employees. This type and they go to their assignments.” of work doesn’t pay like Sometimes there are ‘surprises.’ “Patients come other lines of work. Theback from the hospital with a head wound that has re is also limited upward not fully healed and and they need either a special mobility. That is why mattress or to have the linen cleaned multiple tipeople look to work elmes a day. I radio whichever worker I think has the sewhere with a better most time or is best suited for this specific job and chance to advance.” direct them to take care of it. “ His responsibilities encompass various different areas. “All offices, ven aside from such occurrences, the job rooms, break rooms is neither boring nor mundane. “We have and corridors are unsome elderly people who are hoarders. der our management,” Their rooms smell and our staff hates going in there Carlos explains and to clean. There is one patient who we must visit at

C

E

Carlos Albert, ector Housekeeping Dir

35

BTS BORO PARK CENTER

doing Carlos and Adria

ess and a routine mattr

bed inspection.

least once a week to convince her to throw out her rotten fruit and old banana peels.

The room will fill up with flies pretty fast. Then there is another guy who asks us to label his clothing every week and then after a week he asks me for it. He forgets that I gave it to him and buys more, which leads to congestion. We try to explain to the residents that having a lot of stuff and hoarding non-hygienic things will lead to fruit flies, cockroaches, bedbugs, and a terrible smell as well.” Twice a week Carlos goes in and educates them on what they must throw out. “They will hide food that they don’t finish, because they grew up in circumstances where they could not afford to throw it out. But I have to explain to them that aside from the infestation they could cause if they keep food under the mattress or in a dark corner in the closet, it can also be a health hazard if they eat it or give it to someone else to taste.”

P

esach is a more stressful and difficult time of the year. “We have to clean much better, and we need to cover up a lot of surfaces. Not only because of Jewish law but also because the residents are used to that from home and will not be comfortable unless it looks like

36 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

it did when they were home.” but the busiest time is when the weather begins to change.

“During the winter our residents stay inside.

When spring comes, we have to power wash the patio furniture and the benches and tables and make sure the area is sanitary for the residents to use. This must be done frequently because of garbage that is left behind and also because birds are not potty trained.”

A

s to whether Covid has changed cleaning protocols, Carlos sighs, “It has gotten a lot harder. Protocols have definitely tightened, and we have to go to great lengths to ensure that everything is properly cleaned and disinfected.” However, according to Carlos, stricter protocols are not the main issue. “The main issue is that it has changed people's mentality.

Some workers are so afraid of germs or Covid that they run in and out of a room without cleaning it properly. They have almost become germaphobes.” Carlos hates to micromanage but says that when it comes to hygiene he can’t compromise.

“Aside from the law, our patients are our first and foremost priority. Most of them have preexisting conditions and are immunocompromised. I can’t allow sloppiness because of my aversion to micromanaging.”

But Carlos is also aware of the root of those fears. “I know people who were sick during Covid and even some team members who have lost loved ones and those experiences definitely impact their psyche.

So, I try my best to be understanding while at the same time try to ensure that the patients’ needs are taken care of.” He has also seen the opposite.

“Some are tired of the regulations, and neglect to

member.

Carlos with a housekeeping

very private and don’t want to discuss what is bothering them, and I respect that. A part of being a people person is to understand who wants what.”

B

wear masks when necessary or don’t fit them the way they are supposed to. We have regular meetings and I try to impress on them the importance of simply keeping to the rules. Any complaint can get the Boro Park Center in serious trouble and more importantly the wellbeing of our patients is our top priority, and we must ensure that they are protected.”

eing a part of a family is also the goal when it comes to the residents and patients. “We view and treat tthem as family members. We get donations from certain organizations. I will only allow clothing that I would put on my own mother. If something is old and shabby, I will never pass it on to dress one of our patients.” In order to keep that sense, Carlos is also cognizant of the fact that he needs to make it easy for the residents to feel comfortable and safe with the housekeeping staff. “I try to keep the same people working in the same areas so that our residents can identify them and not feel like a stranger is going through their stuff or taking away their food.

If patients keep seeing the same faces they feel as if those workers belong there and are comfortable with them cleaning away things or straightening up a room.” Just as with other departments in the Boro Park Center, Housekeeping's main job is to treat the residents like family.

In this also lies Carlos’ greatest enjoyment at the helm of the housekeeping team at the Boro Park Center. “These are not simply employees; we are a family. I speak to many about their personal lives and have met their children. I enjoy bonding with them and try to make them happy. If someone comes in grumpy, their work will reflect that. People have stresses and stressors in their lives and as a manager it is a must to understand that these are humans and not robots. They can’t simply switch their feelings off and focus on the task at hand. When employees are happy and feel respected and treated as family, they bring their best and I get results. These are forty seven people from different backgrounds and different situations. That is why sometimes I won’t reprimand someone who does a bad job, I’ll simply have it fixed.” On the other hand, Carlos understands that not everyone wants to share. “There are plenty of workers who are

ied for One of the rooms being empt polishing and disinfecting.

37

CLEANING TIPS FOR PESACH If you need medical advice, you ring your doctor. Want a new hairdo? Swing by the salon. But if your closet feels cramped, your fridge smells funny, and your tiles look terrifying … Who are you going to call? Grout busters?

Turns out, just like fixing back pain and botched bangs, effective deep cleaning is a lesson best gleaned from the pros. That’s why we’ve reached out to the best in the biz for the ultimate spring-cleaning tips, tricks, and hacks for every room in your home, so you can literally clean like it’s your job.

PREP 1. Quickly clean and disinfect your sponge in the microwave: Fill the sponge with water, set it on a microwaveable plate, and nuke it for two minutes. Voilà: 99% of bacteria, gone.

2. Clean your vacuum and its attachments with a damp cloth and mild detergent.

According to experts, you should already be cleaning your vacuum monthly. We mere mortals can use a damp cloth and mild detergent to wipe any dirt from the unplugged device. Clean specialty attachments with warm water and a bit of dish soap. Air dry all the attachments, except the rug piece. For the rug piece, use a white cotton utility cloth to wipe and scrub the brush and superficial underside.

Then dry carefully with a clean towel. And don’t forget to change any full bags!

3. Sanitize your mop with vinegar.

Start by rinsing the mop until the water runs clear. Then, place the mop into a bucket filled with 1-2 gallons of water, followed by a cup of vinegar.

After letting it soak for 15 minutes, rinse with water again and air dry.

38 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

4. Bang out your broom.

Clean your broom by thoroughly whacking it against a tree. Which, as a bonus, is pretty therapeutic. Afterward, soak the broom in a bucket loaded with warm, soapy water for 30 minutes.

Then rinse it off and dry with a cloth, or place it bristles-up in the shower.

KITCHEN 5. Refresh your garbage disposal with ice and citrus.

Toss a few ice cubes down the drain while the disposal is on. This will also help clean the unit.

Next, add a handful of lemon or orange peels (while the disposal is on) to eliminate any smells.

6. Make sure your dishwasher is running up to snuff.

To revamp your dishwasher, fill a mug with vinegar or baking soda. Or you can do one of each. Place the mug(s) right side up in the top rack without other dishes, then run it for a normal cycle.

If there’s a funny smell permeating your plates, run a normal cycle with detergent plus two cups of vinegar added to the base.

7. Freshen up your fridge with a natural mix.

Combine two tablespoons of baking soda with one quart of hot water. Dip a sponge in the mix and wipe your fridge’s interior. Wipe the surfaces again with a separate damp cloth, and dry with a towel.

Warning: Steer clear of soap and detergents, which leave odors that food might absorb.

Odd smells emanating from old food? Scatter fresh coffee grounds on a tray and leave it inside your fridge until the odor dissipates.

8. Defrost your freezer in a flash by turning it into a sauna.

Here’s a speedy, five-step process for defrosting your freezer: 1. Unplug your fridge or freezer unit and remove all frozen foods.

2. Line the bottom of the freezer with paper towels.

3. Fill a bowl or two with boiling hot water and place them on top of the paper towels.

4. Close the freezer door. The steam from the bowls will melt the frost. And in case you’re wondering, the paper towels will absorb the wetness.

5. Wipe the freezer down with a sponge and some all-purpose cleaner.

for at least an hour (preferably overnight), and wipe down with some elbow grease.

Here’s some help if your racks are wrecked: Place them in your tub and cover them with hot water.

Add a half-cup of vinegar and ¾ cup of dishwashing liquid soap, let the racks soak for two hours, and then rinse them off. Scrub any remaining bits with a brush.

10. Sprinkle this one ingredient to clean your stove top.

Unplug cooled coils and wipe them down with a wet cloth or sponge. To get rid of grease buildup, coat with baking soda and wipe with a wet cloth.

Wish there was an easy way to keep drip pans clean for future use? Cover them snugly with aluminum foil.

11. Rejuvenate your cabinets with simple ingredients you already own: Keep the cleaning process simple. Use hot water and a disposable cloth or paper towel to spot clean.

To remove grease, mix a paste of 1 tablespoon baking soda, ½ tablespoon dish soap, and ½ tablespoon water.

To clean smudges from glass-front enclosures, wipe them with a microfiber cloth and Windex.

12. The secret to getting gunk out of your coffeemaker is…

Here’s the secret combination for clearing out any oily residue or hard water deposits your coffeemaker has accumulated over the years: A 50/50 mixture of water and white vinegar.

Halfway through the cycle, turn it off for at least 30 minutes — allowing the mixture to steam-clean your machine — before turning it back on to end the cycle. Finish with two or three cycles of only water.

9. Use an eco-friendly alternative to your oven’s self-cleaning mode.

Whip up a non-toxic paste of vinegar and baking soda. Apply it to any spills, let it sit

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LIVING ROOM 13. Use this everyday product to revive your rugs.

For spills on your rug, resist the urge to scrub. The best way to get out a stain in any rug, especially when it’s fresh, is to simply dab it. This pulls up any excess material that hasn’t yet settled.

Then apply your secret weapon: Shaving cream.

Apply the cream directly to the stain, let it sit for 30 minutes, then do another dab. Spray the stain with a 50/50 mix of vinegar and water. Finally, wipe it dry.

16. Take proper care of your hardwood floors.

First, you’ll need to vacuum or dust. Next, fill a bucket with warm water and add ¼ cup of either white vinegar or all-purpose cleaner.

Dip your microfiber towel in the solution, wring it out, and attach it to a mop handle.

Important: Take special care not to get your floor too wet while cleaning. And be sure to wipe away any excess water when you’re done.

14. Clear windows with this Windex alternative.

Wash your windows on a cloudy day to avoid streaking. And forget traditional glass cleaner –mix 8 parts water to 1 part vinegar for a DIY solution. Then wipe the panes down with a coffee filter or newspaper.

17. Freshen up your carpet’s look – and smell.

No carpet powder? No problem. You can simply sprinkle baking soda on the carpet and vacuum after at least 30 minutes. Add a few drops of your favorite essential oil for an extra fresh touch.

For particularly stubborn stains, blot the area with club soda on a cloth, then spray it with a 1:1 mix of water and white vinegar. Rinse with just water and use your hands to readjust the carpet hairs in their natural direction. Dry with a paper towel.

15. Quickly wipe your blinds dry.

Since most of what you’ll find on blinds is dust, keep the cleaning process dry.

Use your handy microfiber cloth to wipe the convex side of your blinds from top to bottom.

Then turn the rod and repeat on the other side.

Or, cut your cleaning time in half by attaching a clean rag to tongs. Clamp the tongs on a blind to clean both sides of it at the same time. Finally, vacuum any spilled dust.

BEDROOM 18. Use this awesome guide to declutter your closet.

1. Declutter your clothes by category.

A fast, easy way to declutter your clothes is to sift through them by type. Tossing every piece of clothing you own into a massive fabric mountain on your bed is overwhelming and inefficient. Instead, separate your clothes into categories like skirts, dresses, tops, outerwear and accessories. Then sort through every item in a single category before moving on to the next.

Why is this method better? Because it’s way easier to compare similar clothes when they’re all grouped together in front of you, making it easier to get rid of the things you know you have too much of or don’t want.

As you go through your stuff, make a commitment

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to only keep the clothes you know you love and wear with frequency. If anything gives you reason to hesitate, toss it in a pile for donation.

2. Empty and clean your closet.

Once you’ve made separate “donation” and “keep” piles for your clothes, shoes and accessories, give your closet a once-over and pull out anything else still lingering inside it.

When only the occasional lone safety pin remains, dive in and give your closet a proper deep-clean.

Vacuum the carpet, wipe down the shelves and scrub any scuff marks or dirt off the walls.

3. Design your ideal closet space.

If you have the time and money for a full-blown closet renovation, go for it. If not, get creative to work with what you have. Take note of your

closet’s best features: Maybe you have tons of vertical storage space, built-in shelving, or multiple hanging rods. Use these to your advantage.

For the areas of your closet that aren’t so great — your hard-to-reach upper shelves or total lack of shelves altogether, for example — figure out what you can do to fix these problems.

You can use a hanging shoe organizer to store t-shirts, and large plastic bins to store bathing suits, hats and swimming paraphernalia.

Maybe your open-plan closet would benefit from plastic rolling drawers, or a small armoire tucked inside. If you have too many shelves and not enough hanging space, maybe you can remove a few shelves and hang hooks on the walls instead. The possibilities are infinite.

4. Store your clothes by category.

This tip may seem obvious, but it makes all the difference when you want to locate your cozy gray sweater in a flash.

Keep like items with like items. Store all your belts in the same spot, hang your dresses alongside each other, and keep your workout shirts separate from your pajamas.

5. Hang anything delicate, fancy, or sturdy.

Maybe you have enough space to hang every single shirt you own, but if you don’t, then stick with hanging the obvious stuff. That means delicate items like dresses and skirts, fancy items like suits, and sturdy, structured pieces like coats and blazers.

Here’s a tip to give your closet a neat, happy look: Hang everything facing the same direction, with longer items on the left and shorter items on the right so the bottom of your clothes creates an upward sloping line.

6. Use coordinating hangers.

Nothing screams closet chaos quite like a collection of wire and neon plastic hangers trying to peacefully coexist alongside one another.

Limit the visual clutter and give your closet a sleek, streamlined look by using matching hangers, just make sure you invest in hangers that actually work for what you have. Opt for sturdy velvet hangers over the thin plastic varieties if you have heavy suits to hang, for example, and steer clear of wooden hangers if you have lots of slippery silk blouses.

7. Stack thick and bulky items like sweaters.

Save yourself precious drawer and hanging space by stacking bulky winter sweaters. These items make perfect stacks for your shelf space because they’re sturdy and thick, meaning they won’t slump, crinkle, or lose their shape when you stack them. Not only that, but you’ll be also able to see each item in a stack clearly, making it that much easier to find what you’re looking for.

9. Store your most used clothes at eye level.

Keep everything you wear on a regular basis in the middle of your closet at eye level so it’s easy to find and grab in your early morning pre-coffee haze.

Put lesser-used pieces directly above or below your most popular clothes and relegate your least-worn items to the top shelf.

10. Color-code your wardrobe.

It’s true that organizing your clothes by color can be tedious, but the end result will make picking out an outfit so much easier, especially if you’re a visual person. No need to drive yourself crazy trying to remember the exact order of the colors in the rainbow. Even creating the most general color distinction will make your closet easy to navigate.

11. Maximize your vertical storage space.

Every closet has a secret storage weapon that, when used properly, changes the entire layout of your closet: vertical space.

This means walls, top shelves, doors, and even that dead space between your floor and the hems of your hanging dresses.

How do you take advantage of your vertical storage space? Hang an over the door shoe rack over your closet door, or hang it facing sideways on a tension rod. You can also use extra wall space to install DIY shelves that hold jewelry boxes or handbags.

13. Hang scarves on hangers.

Sure, you can roll them up or stack them if they’re really thick but tying your scarves on a hanger is a way better option for organizing them.

Hanging your scarves keeps them wrinkle-free and easy to see and access, meaning you’re more likely to actually use them on a regular basis.

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14. Utilize empty wall space for hanging jewelry and accessories.

Got a few spare inches of wall space?

Get creative and use this area to hang accessories like belts, jewelry, hats or ties.

How do you hang everything? You can use a hanging jewelry organizer or towel hooks or opt for a more personalized approach like a stylish coat rack.

17. Use the “one in, one out” rule to keep your clothes collection in check.

Despite your best organizational efforts, you may still end up with massive heaps of ill-fitting, outdated, or unloved clothes at the end of every year. So how do you prevent things from getting out of hand?

You adopt a simple, ruthless little rule called the “one in, one out” policy. For every new item you bring into your closet, you get rid of another.

BATHROOM 21. Obliterate soap scum with these eco-safe grime fighters.

Coat the shower surface with a 1:1 mix of baking soda and water, then spray with a 1:1 combo of vinegar and water before wiping it down.

22. Use vinegar to spruce up your shower curtains.

Pretreat new shower curtains in the wash on a warm rinse cycle with distilled white vinegar.

On the other hand, an older shower curtain requires more TLC. Hand wash it under warm water with a microfiber cloth and baking soda.

You can also put it in the wash with either vinegar, baking soda, or a gentle detergent.

Emphasis on the “or,” unless you want your washing machine to erupt like a volcano.

23. Try this very simple hack to unclog your shower head.

Pour distilled white vinegar in a plastic bag and fasten it to the shower head with a rubber band. Let it soak for an hour before wiping clean with a wet cloth.

24. Bon Ami + Dish Soap = Immaculate Toilet If you scrub your toilet regularly, just some all-purpose cleaner will suffice.

Got a bit of buildup? Use a little dish cleaning liquid alongside a dash of non-abrasive, eco-friendly cleaner like Bon Ami.

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It’s simple, easy, and ensures your collection of clothes never gets too large to manage.

19. Wash your pillows in the washing machine.

Your pillow type will determine how you wash it.

Put down and fiber pillows in the wash on a warm, gentle cycle. Follow with an extra rinse to get all the detergent out and tumble dry low with clean tennis balls to restore your pillows’ fluffiness.

Heads up: Foam pillows require gentle hand washing with mild detergent.

20. Sprinkle this white powder on your mattress.

In addition to flipping it every six months, to deodorize your mattress sift baking soda on the surface, let it sit for a few hours, then vacuum it up.

25. Safely clean grout with these two kitchen staples.

Here’s a five-step process for cleaning grout like a boss: 1. Sprinkle some baking soda on the grout, taking care to cover all affected areas.

2. Wipe away excess powder.

3. Fill a spray bottle with white vinegar and spritz the powdered part of the grout.

4. Let the mixture bubble for a few minutes, but not for too long, or else the grime will settle back in.

5. Scrub with an old toothbrush.

It will get messy, so have some water on hand.

But not too much water since you want the solution to stay gritty for easy scrubbing. Wipe up, vacuum any leftover powder, and clean the area as usual.

26. Clean mold the same way you clean cuts.

Mix one teaspoon of hydrogen peroxide with one cup of water. Wipe the mixture on mold, let it sit for at least 10 minutes, scrub the area to remove all mold and stains, and wipe down the surface.

Now that the mold is gone, how do you prevent it from growing in the future?

Easy: Spray the surface with a mixture of 1-2 tablespoons of baking soda and 2 cups of water.

29. Clean your iron.

Unplug and make sure the iron is totally cooled.

Then, place wax paper or a paper towel on a flat surface and sprinkle a tablespoon of coarse salt on top. Turn the iron on to the highest setting but turn off the steam. Lightly press the iron down on the salted paper, moving it back and forth a few times until the sole plate is clean. Unplug and let cool.

HOME OFFICE 30. Spot check your desk for rings.

Keep an eye out for coffee and beverage rings. Wipe those spots down with an all-purpose cleaning solution and a rag.

31. Use a DIY solution to clean your computer screen.

Remember the magic mix you used on your coffee cleaner? The one that was just water and white vinegar?

Turns out it works for cleaning your computer, too. Spray and wipe down with your microfiber cloth for a streak-free shine.

All done? Congrats! There’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of a deeply cleaned home.

LAUNDRY ROOM 27. Revamp your washing machine with a little TLC. Tend to the door of the machine first. Put some rubber gloves on and make a solution of one cup chlorine bleach to two cups of warm water.

Wipe down the door’s seal, especially the lower portion, using your mix and a soft cloth.

Then move on to cleaning the inside. All you have to do is fill the bleach dispenser with bleach and run the machine on the hot-water cycle.

Can’t stand the smell of bleach and/ or prefer a natural alternative?

Use, you guessed it, vinegar. But only vinegar! Because mixing vinegar and bleach creates toxic fumes.

28. De-lint the dryer in a flash with this cheap tool.

Easily eliminate residual dust and lint in your dryer with just one cheap tool: a vacuum crevice tool or dryer vent brush.

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44 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

Splitting the Sea 3 Perspectives on the world of Shidduchim

One of the most famous Gemaras about marriage is found on the first page of Masechtes Sota. “Kashin Zivugin K’kriyas Yam Suf: bringing people together in marriage is as difficult as splitting the Sea of Reeds.”

Kriyas Yam Suf was the quintessential miracle of Jewish history, but it was also a time of great difficulty and challenge for Am Yisroel. It was the bold faith of Nachshon in the face of imminent destruction that led to the miracle occurring. It is this perspective that is perhaps most familiar to anyone who has spent time in the parsha of shidduchim, as a single or as the parent of a child looking for their match. It is an era

of life that has incredible challenges, but also one that leads to a miraculous conclusion, delivering us into experiencing one of the most beautiful parts of life. In honor of Pesach, and its celebration of all open miracles and particularly Kriyas Yam Suf, the Center Spirit magazine took a long look at the topic of shidduchim. We examined our topic from different angles, hearing from singles, shadchanim and married couples, all of whom shared their perspective on the exhausting, exhilarating, complex and miraculous process of getting to the “Az Yashir” moment of matrimonial harmony and beyond.

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Shadchanim

By Yael Fensterheim

When the Bnei Yisroel stood at the edge of the Yam Suf, they didn’t know where to turn. Some wanted to daven, others wanted to enter the ocean, some wanted to fight the Egyptians and others to surrender. There were many opinions, and not a lot of clarity. In a certain sense, that description accurately captures the experience of shidduchim. It’s a confusing and challenging era of life during which parents and children are faced with an overwhelming array of possibilities. For some, the issue can be sifting through the many suggestions received, for others it can be trying to find any suggestion at all.

Knowing which ideas to look into and how to get a shidduch off the ground can be a daunting task.

Into this fray enters the shadchan, whose job it is to help people navigate through shidduchim. Inspired by the spirit of Nachshon, who entered the water with boldness and courage, shadchanim help start the process, encouraging everyone to get on board with a great idea.

But their responsibilities don’t end there. Besides for suggesting ideas, shadchanim are often the ones who shepherd a couple from the first date to the finish line.

Tact, wisdom, knowledge and an intuition for when to push people a bit are all part of the shadchan’s playbook.

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They expend time and effort trying to get singles together, cajoling parents, acting as therapists, mediators, event planners and more, all while juggling differing social mores and dancing through the most delicate scenarios.

Who exactly is a shadchan? For many, the term refers to a professional matchmaker, someone whose main job is attempting to get young couples together. However, while there is a certain level of professionalism and experience that a full-time shadchan provides, anyone who takes the initiative of setting up singles on a date is acting as a shadchan, with all the expected responsibilities and challenges. There have been many initiatives in recent years trying to get the general public to buy in on making more shidduchim, and the frum community, which places such a high value on marriage, has always been excited about redting shidduchim. However, both professional and “amateur” shadchanim come with their own pros and cons. Chani L. explained her feelings to me about using a professional shadchan versus being set up by a friend. “A friend usually knows you far better than a shadchan you met only once for ten minutes, and the ideas will often be far more on target. On the

other hand, shadchanim have way more experience helping people through the process than one of my friends would. If I am dating someone, and I want something communicated in a more delicate way or need advice on how to navigate a complex situation, I would often prefer to be working with someone who has experience acting as the intermediary between young couples.”

Other singles who I spoke to have a distinct preference for one or the other. Shaya P. told me that he has learned that he only wants to hear from professional shadchanim and has no interest in crowdsourced ideas. “There are too many times that my mother tried to get me to give a yes to some idea she heard from someone she met at a wedding, or the woman who works at the linen store. ‘You never know where a shidduch comes from!’ is her motto, but I’m confident mine isn’t coming from the linen store, and a lady who never met me. I don’t have confidence that a random stranger knows me well enough and has the skills to handle a shidduch well. I like to work with people who have a lot of experience, and who will know how to help me through the process.”

with phone calls until you have to hang up on them.”

There are also the logistics of the date to consider. Very often, singles are not sure what to do or where to go on a particular date. The choice of venue can make a big difference in the dating experience, and a shadchan needs to be sensitive to the needs of the moment. Zev W. told me of an incident where a poorly planned date torpedoed a shidduch. “Things had started out well with a girl I was dating, but the fourth date had been a little stiff and awkward. The shadchan suggested I go to New Roc City, a place with arcades and games, to make things more fun and lighten up the dynamic. I later found out that this location was known among my friends from yeshiva as ‘the graveyard of all dates.’ After the date there, the girl declined to continue. She had thought I was immature and not serious, because she had wanted to discuss serious hashkafic topics and instead we had spent the night shooting basketballs, playing skeeball and trying to win enough tickets to buy a gigantic stuffed Koala. I don’t blame the person who set us up, since I think the idea wasn’t destined to go anywhere, but they really made things end much quicker by picking the wrong place for the date.”

...They will literally hound you with phone calls until you have to hang up on them.”

Whether the shadchan is an amateur or a professional, their job is usually not an easy one. Sometimes just suggesting an idea is enough, but often a lot more work is required. Meir J. shared his experience with me in setting up one of his friends. “I had a neighbor who I thought would be a good shidduch for my friend. When I mentioned it to him, he said I had to talk to his father.

I called the father and was subject to a full KGB level interrogation, with the father cross-examining me on every question. He wanted every possible detail about the family: medical, financial, hashkafa and everything in between. I think he wanted to know which shtiebel in Krakow the girls great-great grandfather davened in. By the time we were done, I wasn’t sure any more about the idea. I definitely didn’t have the koach to deal with this father through the dating process.”

Shadchanim often have to walk a tightrope. On the one hand, they have to advocate for their idea, trying to convince and cajole both sides if necessary. On the other hand, everyone in shidduchim dreads calls from the pushy shadchan, who aggressively markets their idea and refuses to take no for an answer. As Peretz D. tells me, “I dread the calls that start with the words ‘I’m not a pushy shadchan but…’ Those are always the pushiest shadchanim of all. They will literally hound you

Ultimately, the most important role of the shadchan is their position as the communicator between the two sides. The whole shidduch system is an outgrowth of the frum community’s values of tznius and the imperative it places on strong Jewish families.

The goal is to bring boys and girls together and let them get to know each other in a framework consistent with those values. As such, the shadchan must be able to help a young couple get to the point where the relationship can continue growing on its own in a healthy way. This involves a lot of tact, discretion, and knowing which questions to ask. As one professional shadchan tells me, “Some singles, especially the younger ones, often find it hard to express what they are feeling, if they are excited or worried, confused or curious. It’s not immediately clear what they mean when they give you feedback.

Learning to understand what they really mean and how they really feel, and then to pass along the feedback in a productive way, is one of the main things I have had to work on in my career as a shadchan. You have to ask the right questions and truly understand the answers.”

To get a perspective on some of the unique challenges faced by professional shadchanim, I spoke to Bluma Woolf, a renowned shadchan from Lakewood. Mrs. Woolf has been

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a shadchan for many years and is part of Ohr Moshe, a program that focuses on arranging dates and coaching singles aged 25 and above. In our conversation, Mrs. Woolf highlighted some o f the elements of the shidduch process that present a challenge in her day-to-day work.

Shidduch research is often defined by what questions people ask. Everybody has heard the hair-raising and bizarre questions that were asked in the past: do they use plastic tablecloths on Shabbos? At what age did the older brother have his tonsils out? These outlier examples just highlight how desperate people are for information, so that they can have clarity as to what type of family and situation they are getting involved with. However, despite the imperative and importance of gathering information, In Mrs. Woolf’s experience, the most important questions are often left unasked. This failure to communicate important information can lead to heartache down the road. “I wish that people would clarify their financial expectations before they go out,” says Mrs. Woolf. “If someone is expecting support or wants a spouse to have a certain type of career, all of those details should be clearly defined beforehand. If that’s going to be an issue, it isn’t fair for that to be dumped on the couple in middle of the process when things are starting to get serious.”

Modern technology has transformed the way shidduchim are redt. Information flies between parents, shadchanim and singles at lightning speed, through texts, WhatsApp groups and emails. This change in the shidduch process has brought about another factor, one that has been the subject of heated controversy: the exchange of pictures of eligible singles. As Mrs. Woolf tells me, pictures have made her job more difficult. “Pictures in particular have become an accepted portion of the shidduch process and are part of our modern environ-

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ment of information overload. However, I feel that they have done a lot of damage. Many people decline a date because of the picture, even though otherwise the match seems like a great opportunity, and if they would meet in person, they might really hit it off. I’ve had cases where someone said no because they saw a picture they didn’t like. A few months later they see a different picture that they like better and then they change their mind and agree to go out. That seems silly and superficial to me and I would love to change that.”

The current accepted practice in the shidduch system is that the boy’s side agrees to a suggestion, after which the girl’s side is expected to respond within a few days.

Mrs. Woolf thinks a tweak to this practice might lead to better results. “I would love if shidduchim could be redt simultaneously to both sides, to reduce the feelings of rejection that are experienced. It would be great if it could be that the boy’s family and the girl’s family are looking into each other at the same time, and that way there would be more ideas getting off the ground and rejection wouldn’t be as strong. It gives the opportunity for girls to do more research and saves the guy time. it would level the playing field in terms of opportunities

“I wish that people would clarify their financial expectations before they go out,” to get people out on dates, and make it understood that the rejection that people have to experience is a twoway street, not something that falls unduly on one side.”

In summing up her experiences, Mrs. Woolf identifies one issue that stands above the rest. “One of the biggest obstacles I face in my job is when people have unrealistic expectations and demands in terms of what they are looking for in the shidduch world. Of course, every person is special and deserves to find their perfect match.

But often, people get in their own way when they become fixated on certain perceived qualities that they feel they must have, and the things that they are searching for are not what they actually need. This leads to people sabotaging their own or their children’s shidduchim, as they stand in the way of what is realistic and healthy. I think people need to be more in touch with themselves, and to be honest about what they are looking for in a marriage partner. This attitude shift would help a lot of people.”

s e l g n Si

By Gitty Friedman

As much effort as is expended by parents and shadchanim on attempting to bring two people together, ultimately the responsibility lies with the singles themselves.

Much like each tribe had its own path during Kriyas Yam Suf, each single has their own experience moving through shidduchim. It can be a time of heartbreak, self-discovery, joy and frustration, or it can be over in the blink of an eye, as the single moves onto the next phase in life. However, alongside all the excitement and hilarity that can accompany shidduchim, it also is a time that brings with it uncertainty and challenges. The Gemara tells us the words of the prayer that Nachshon used as he entered the Yam Suf “Hoshiyaini Elokim, Ki Ba’u Mayim Ad Nefesh: Save me Hashem, for the waters have reached my neck.” Many singles can echo that sentiment as they move though this tumultuous time in their lives, and in their conversation with us, they shared their perspective on various elements of this singular experience.

But I have friends who are constantly at odds with their parents. For some, shidduchim brings a tension that has never been in the relationship before, and for others, they had never seen eye-to-eye. Therefore, the fact that the parents are orchestrating the situation makes it very hard for them. Of course, parents are doing the best they can, but having a good relationship really makes things better, especially if they can respect their child’s perspective.”

Many singles are not prepared for the essential weirdness of the dating experience. As Meira A. tells me, the basic details that make up a date are still jarring for her. “Despite however much you find out during research, it’s always a little odd to see a stranger sitting at your dining room table.

Then you have to go in his car, drive off and talk to him f o r three hours. It’s a

Shidduchim is the time where every parent’s talent and instinct for advocating on their children’s behalf are called to the forefront. However, this comes along with its own challenges. For some singles, there is no one else they would rather have run their shidduchim. Naftali F. told me that he trusted his parents implicitly. “I’ve always had a great relationship with my parents and I feel that they know me well. If they nix an idea, I take it with full confidence, and when they give the green light, I go in with a positive attitude because I know they try their best to set me up with someone who is on target for me.

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very blatantly staged experience, something that people would never do if left to their own devices. So even if two people are socially normal, often the awkwardness of the situation overwhelms both of them. That’s why If I can, I always try to push things until after a few dates so that I can get past the early weirdness and into a place where both of us are acting more naturally.”

tan. They each shared their perspective on what life is like for them as an older single, and what advice they would give to others on how to relate to their current challenge.

Although there are challenges, Ahuva G. tells me that she appreciates the time she spent in shidduchim. “It is not easy to spend an extended period of time as a single person, fielding shidduch ideas and constantly getting your hopes up. However, I found that in addition to the challenges, it was also an incredibly important time for me. I really grew a lot. The nature of shidduchim forces you to confront yourself, to find out who you really are and what is important to you. I’m sure there are other ways to do that work, and maybe it can be done at other times in your life. For me though, shidduchim was where I really forged an identity.

I know that whomever I end up married to, they will find themselves in a relationship with a much more defined, confident and clear-headed person than they would have if they had met me before I entered shidduchim.”

Dovid: The lack of a deep-level human relationship with someone who really understands me and accepts me for who I am.

For many singles, shidduchim is a brief chapter in their lives, a whirlwind of excitement and happiness in between their time in Yeshiva or Bais Yaakov and their new lives as a married couple. For others, however, shidduchim becomes a much longer and more arduous era. Much has been written about the segment of the single population known as “older singles”. Although there is little consensus on who exactly qualifies as a member of this group, everyone agrees that extended time on the shidduch market is a taxing and painful journey, one fraught with unique challenges. I spoke to three singles, all of whom have spent several years in shidduchim. Dovid J., 27, has spent several years studying in college and working, but recently decided to attend Yeshiva in Israel. Shmuel A., 29, studied in yeshiva in New York for many years and has recently branched out into working in the mental health world. Chana P., 31 is an interior designer living on the West Side of Manhat-

What do you find is the hardest part about being single?

Shmuel: The loneliness. You feel alienated from other people because they don’t understand what you are going through, they just assume something is wrong with you, that you are picky or whatever other nonsensical theory they come up with.

Chana: The lose/lose situation of sitting at the Shabbos table alone or going to a meal and feeling like an outsider or a nebach case.

What effect does being single have on your life?

Dovid: Being single by definition means I have less responsibilities, which some people see as a plus. They think my life is more carefree, but in truth, it just serves as an obstacle to my growth. You are not a full-fledged member of society in the frum world until you are married. Up until that point, you exist in a bubble, an odd liminal space between the different life stages of the frum world.

Shmuel: In the frum world you definitely feel like a second-class citizen. I want to move to the next level of life, but that is impossible when you are single. Everything revolves around marriage. Even professionally, there have been jobs I was turned away from because I was single.

To top it off, these interviews ended with them declining to hire me but trying to redt me a shidduch. Being single obscures other relevant parts of my identity in the eyes of society.

Chana: I am more self-critical and spend a lot of time in my own head. I am more socially isolated than I want to be. I have friends and family to talk to, but I know my life would be different if I had someone around all the time to bounce my thinking off of.

What is one piece of advice you would give people about how to approach you with a shidduch idea?

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Dovid: Get to know me first. Don’t suggest something based on the stereotype you think I fit based on what you see.

Shmuel: Broach the idea with sensitivity. Address the elephant in the room, that I’ve been in shidduchim for a long time, but do it in a compassionate way. When you say no pressure, really mean it. Check that I’m actually in a place where I am open to hearing an idea, and don’t criticize or tell me it’s my fault that I’m single if I turn you down.

Recognize and validate the difficulties of an older single, that instead of the great opportunity you think it is, hearing a shidduch suggestion at this point for me might actually be incredibly painful.

Chana: Don’t assume that my age should be factored in as a demerit against me, to justify why you would set me up with somebody who isn’t appropriate for me. I don’t want to be shoehorned into a terrible shidduch idea just because I’m older. Always make sure your idea is solid.

What is the biggest misconception people have about your life as a single person?

Dovid: The various assumptions people make about why I’m single. Or when they say that by definition there must be something wrong with me if I’m not married by now. Age is just a number, not an explanation of why someone is single.

of great shadchanim out there, but many so-called “amateurs” can also do a great job. I think our society should be moving towards a more democratized shidduch process, where more people are redting shidduchim. This would create new opportunities, more creative shidduch ideas that wouldn’t have been redt before, and actually takes the pressure off the few professionals who currently have to deal with a glut of shidduch ideas.

Shmuel: It often surprises people when I say this, but I am a big fan of the shidduch system. I think it’s a great framework for getting people married, and it has many advantages over almost any alternative that’s been suggested.

As you get older, however, I think it’s important to consciously tweak the system in ways that make it work better for you. You can’t have the same mindset at 22 and at 28.

Don’t be stuck in your old habits and routines. If you don’t want to sit in a hotel lobby for three hours on your first date anymore, that’s fine. Just be aware of that, be in touch with yourself and adjust accordingly.

Chana: I would expand the opportunities for how people can meet each other. Shabbos meals for singles, speed dating and other events might not be for everybody, but they give people a chance to meet in a much more efficient way than the current system of waiting to get set up. There are websites, apps, and social media groups that were developed specifically to bring people together, and I think that’s a positive direction to go in.

What are you most looking forward to about marriage?

Shmuel: That there is anything easy about having to date many people. The singles that I know are not having fun or “playing the field.” It’s emotionally draining to meet so many people and jump from idea to idea, to get your hopes up and start developing a relationship, only to have it come crashing down.

Dovid: Having a deep relationship with someone who really gets me. The feeling that I can make jokes that will make her laugh, or that I will come home from a hard day and she will understand why I am feeling down or frustrated.

Chana: That life is easier because we don’t have responsibilities to a spouse or children. Rabbi Noach Weinberg used to point out that marriage and children are both a person’s biggest source of joy and their biggest source of stress. Remember that those two things, which are missing from life currently, go hand in hand.

Shmuel: Being able to give to another and to share my life. Being stable, settled and starting the process of why we are brought into this world. Continuity, having children and building a home are all part of solidifying your Avodas Hashem. I am looking forward to the greater possibilities of becoming an Adam Shaleim that marriage provides.

What would you change about the shidduch system?

Dovid: People are overly reliant on the system and the opportunities presented to them by professional shadchanim. They see the small, elite group of “big name” shadchanim as their only lifeline to getting married. The truth is, redting a shidduch is not that complicated. There are a lot

Chana: Having a partner for life who is at my side in all situations, both good and bad. My nature is to be collaborative and to share, but that part of my personality has been stymied for the last ten years. I’ve had to make so many decisions alone, about my career, my health, where to live, plans for my spiritual growth. I’m looking froward to the day when I can discuss things with my husband, to plan our lives together and experience the unique joy of partnership.

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M A R R I A G E

By Masha Raninowitz Az Yashir Moshe U’Bnei Yisrael: The Jews emerged safely from the Yam Suf, having been saved miraculously and seen their Egyptian oppres-

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sors defeated beyond a shadow of a doubt. At that moment, in the profound transcendent joy of salvation, the Jewish people were moved to lift their voices in song.

They gave thanks to Hashem for being

saved, and to express their hopes for everything that the future would hold. The Az Yashir moment is where singles and their families find themselves as they reach the moment of walking down the aisle. They are filled with joy that the always-challenging, often-difficult chapter of shidduchim is now behind them, and a future of life lived in joy together awaits them. What was a solo has now become a duet and hopefully soon an entire choir singing in harmony. But just as the Jewish nation that emerged from the Yam Suf was shaped by its experiences in Mitzrayim, the two partners entering a marriage bring their own individual identities, formed by their families, life experiences, and unique perspective on life. As they begin to meld their lives, the

identities they shaped as singles play a crucial role in their new identity as a married couple. The rewards, challenges, frustrations and exhilaration of married life lies in this meeting between singles.

We spoke to married couples, asking them to reflect on their experience now, how it connects to their life as a single and what surprised them about moving from married to single.

Yisroel S. met his wife Baila soon after he came back from learning in Eretz Yisroel. She was the first

“

But the longer a person stays in shidduchim, the more their vision of marriage changes.” girl he dated, and they got engaged and married relatively quickly.

Although Yisroel used to joke with his friends in high school that he was ready to get married in ninth grade, in actuality he was taken by surprise at how different married life was from his single life. “My life changed in every way after I got married. Though there could be many important people and relationships in your life before marriage, the relationship of a marriage is a whole new experience, being that you now share a life.

As I got further into married life, the biggest challenge was realizing that almost every decision as well as everything I did is not just about me anymore. Alongside that challenge came something that was incredibly valuable to me, that I now have a partner to

go through everything with, having someone to always support and be supported by. That kind of connection is incredibly rewarding. What surprised me most about marriage was how much work It took. You hear a lot about how much work marriage is but it’s that much more and rightfully so. It should be important enough to you to put in the work. The most important things singles need learn to prepare themselves for marriage is how to be considerate.”

Yisroel’s experience stands in contrast with that of Elimelech R. and his wife Chana. Unlike Yisroel, Elimelech spent many years in the shidduch process. His experiences during those years changed him and formed the type of husband he became. Specifically, he contrasted life in yeshiva versus life as a married man. “I went to an elite yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel and returned to BMG in Lakewood. In truth, at that time I was not thinking realistically about what marriage would be like. Instead, I was more caught up in the rat race mentality of getting a ‘good shidduch’. I wanted to be the first from my group to get married, to marry a big name on the market, to get a rich father-in-law who would support me. It was never about what the marriage would be like, it was more defined by an immature bochurish mindset. But the longer a person stays in shidduchim, the more their vision of marriage changes. When my fantasy failed to come to fruition, my mindset started to change. It became more about what I actually wanted in a partner; what my vision was of a person I could share a life with. Once I got married the biggest change was that my life was now about accountability. In the past, I had never wo-

rried too much about doing my own thing, even if it wasn’t always appreciated by my parents, siblings or the schools I went to.

I quickly realized that disappointing my wife was something else entirely, something I couldn’t countenance in myself. This in turn led to me being more accountable in general. For me that was also the biggest challenge, to learn that my decisions have a big impact on another person. That’s also the best part: realizing that the reason your actions have such a strong effect on your wife is davka because she cares about you. My advice to singles would be to consider that marriage is not always going to be awesome. Parts of it will be, but you must know going in that a good marriage will not be handed to you on a silver platter. You will have to work on it to make it good, not because either of you are bad people, just because marriage, by its very nature takes work. People shouldn’t rush lighthearted into the wedding. Marriage can be incredible, but only if you can meet the challenge of being willing to give away a lot of what you thought makes your life fun and carefree.”

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Hadassah V. was 29 when she got married to her husband Chaim.

Throughout her years in shidduchim, she often heard insensitive comments from well-meaning people, because she had a very prestigious job as a manager at an upscale architectural firm. “When I was single, people would tell me that my job was intimidating guys, or that I was portraying an image that a family was secondary to my career. This was always very hurtful because as seriously as I took my job, I never felt that it diminished my desire to have a family. Loneliness and that lack of a husband’s support in my life was the most profoundly painful aspect of my experience being single, and to be told that I didn’t actually care about those things was like a slap in the face. Being successful at

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work is not a replacement for what a family can provide. I rely on my husband for so much, and our relationship, and the support he gives me, is something I could never get from my job, no matter how much success I have.”

The work of creating an identity as a couple often involves bridging a very large gap. For Leah Y. and her husband Gavriel, the gap in question was 8 years. “I was 19, he was 27. We were introduced at a wedding by my aunt and we hit it off immediately. It wasn’t a typical formal shidduch, with all the research that you usually do going in.

I didn’t find out about his age until our third date, and it didn’t bother either of us because our chemistry was so good. I remember that on the sixth date, we spent a long time talking about how weird it was for him that I didn’t remember 9/11,

but other than that conversation, I don’t remember that it was ever something that affected how we developed our relationship.

People mentioned it constantly but we both would dismiss all concerns because to us it really was a non-factor. Once we got married though, certain things began to crop up. We lived in Israel for the first few years of our marriage.

For me, it was exciting.

I had been in seminary the year before, and many of my friends were in Israel for the year. I wanted to make big meals with all of them, to schmooze about everything that was going on in seminary, but Gavriel did not enjoy the meals. It had been five years since he had been in the Mir, and he really didn’t know too many people there. He wanted his

“Loneliness and that lack of a husband’s support in my life was the most profoundly painful aspect of my experience being single”

Shabbosim to be quiet. When we went on vacation, I wanted to rent jet skis and he wanted to go to a museum. Slowly but surely, we realized that although the core of our connection was strong, there were many small differences we had that were rooted in the age gap. Once we became aware of that, we were able to identify when it was the subtext of a disagreement we were having and it really helped. We were able to laugh about it. I started to appreciate situations where his maturity and life experience could guide us, and he started to recognize that I could bring a more youthful feeling to the house.”

Age is not the only barrier couples have to overcome. Often there are differences of culture, family background and life experience that can also play a major role in how the couple’s relationship develops. Chanoch T. grew up in Berkeley, California, the cradle of American radical liberalism, without any religious education or experiences. When he was in his early 20’s, he took a Birthright trip to Israel and ended up in a class at Aish HaTorah, and his journey to rediscover his roots began. “When I first got to the yeshiva, the classes that initially grabbed me were the ones that focused on marriage and relationships. Everything I was learning was so fundamentally opposite to the ideas I had absorbed from the world I lived in before. Marriage was actually an opportunity to build something incredible, not an outmoded societal relic that stifled individuality and love. It totally transformed my picture of what a marriage could be. As I grew in my Torah study and Jewish observance, I started thinking about my own family. I wanted to build a home that embodied all the principles I had learned about. As a newcomer

to observance though, I worried about finding a partner whom I could fit with. Marrying someone who had grown up in the Orthodox world would help me integrate, but I wasn’t sure if they could relate to my background and understand where I come from. When I started dating after a few years in yeshiva, I gravitated towards women who had been on a similar journey to mine, but I couldn’t seem to make a connection with any of them.”

“But ultimately, what initially connected us was a passionate love for Yiddishkeit” He was at a Shabbos Seuda in Shaarei Chesed when he met his wife Faigy, someone whose background could not have been more different from his. “I come from a Heimish family in Monsey,” Faigy tells me.

“My father wears a shtreimel, my brothers wear up hats and gartels. I was a little bit more on the modern side of my family, but I always had tremendous respect for our Chassidish heritage. Although I went to college and got a degree as a social worker, I was looking for a husband whose background was similar to mine. After many years of dating, I was frustrated and alone. I spent

Chanukah in Israel by a friend, and I met Chanoch at her Shabbos table. Right away, his sincerity and enthusiasm for Yiddishkeit made a big impression on me. While it was clear that he came from a totally different world, his hashkafa and personality were very appealing, and I made the decision to leave my comfort zone in hopes of finding something special.” After a few dates, Faigy decided to extend her ticket, and a month later, she flew back to the U.S. with Chanoch so he could meet her family.

Despite some initial hesitation and awkwardness, Faigy’s family has embraced Chanoch fully. “Yes, there are still Chassidish nuances that go over my head,” confesses Chanoch. “I still think that Kugel is something totally different than Keegel, and some of the Shabbos zemiros are very difficult for me to join in on. But ultimately, what initially connected us was a passionate love for Yiddishkeit, and that is really the core of what Chassidus is about. Despite any cultural differences we had, that spiritual warmth is the foundation that we built our marriage on.”

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B O R O PA R K C E N T E R P R O U D LY P R E S E N T S A

Mega Musical Concert! with Chaim Blumenfeld

Live Parrot Show!

Live Animal Show!

with The Parrot Rebbe

with Eric the Animal Guy

Please check your room calendar for dates and times.

For Boro Park Center residents and accompanying family members only.

56 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

T O H E A LT H !

• Pesach and Constipation • Tips from a Dietitian

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PESACH and

CONS T I PAT ION

HEALTH CENTER

By Suri Sprei, HHP, NC

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We all love the Yom Tov of Pesach, but more often than not this holiday comes along with indigestion and constipation struggles. This is mostly due to the fact that we are quite limited in the foods our systems are accustomed to year-round. Along with that, we also tend to overdo it on the constipating foods like dairy, matza and meats. Eliminating properly is essential for optimal wellbeing and experiencing a problem in that department can greatly affect mood and put a damper on the chag. In this article I will share some wonderfully simple and helpful tips that can relieve any constipation you may be experiencing during this festive time.

FRUITS Fruits are kosher for Pesach! Of course you knew that, but I find many people don't eat enough of them on Pesach! You can and should be doing a lot of fruit. Many have the custom to peel fruits and will only eat those you can peel, and that's sufficient to get a good amount of the good stuff in. Fruits contain soluble dietary fibers that create movement of the bowels and push waste through easily.

The fruits that rank the highest for constipation are apples, kiwis, pears and papaya. Fruits also

have a mild laxative effect on the bowels, which can greatly help alleviate constipation. However, be careful to always eat ripened fruit, when the sugars are mature. This is especially important with bananas which many consume when they're not ripe. This causes them to get even more constipated and blame the banana.

Unripe fruit can also cause other digestive issues and should be avoided. But that doesn't mean you should avoid fruit altogether, just make sure to ripen them properly and then enjoy!

R AW V S C O OK E D V E G E TA BL E S Another great constipation tool is eating uncooked raw vegetables together with your proteins. Chicken and meat have no dietary fiber and will sit in the bowels, causing inflammation in the intestines and slowing down the flow of waste matter. This will end up causing constipation, gas and bloating. A great way to minimize these effects is to combine your dish with raw vegetables. Raw vegetables have important digestive enzymes that help break food down properly and also keep food moving through

the intestinal tract. When combined with proteins they ensure that protein waste doesn't sit and putrefy and instead helps push it all on the way out. Cooked vegetables are also good for you and very valuable but they do not provide the constipation antidote that raw vegetables do. Some dishes you can make are cucumber salads, romaine lettuce salads, kohlrabi slaws and shredded carrot salads. You'll enjoy the freshness of the raw vegetables at a time when food variety is so limited.

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ALOE VER A A very helpful herb to consider is aloe vera. While you may already be aware of the benefits of aloe vera used externally, when properly consumed internally it can be highly medicinal and extremely helpful for constipation. All you have to do is take two inches of the peeled aloe vera leaf and run it through a high-speed blender with a cup of water. Once it's blended well drink it on an empty stomach. You can

make this drink before Yom Tov and drink it throughout when you don't have access to a blender.

Aloe vera is a very helpful herb that has been used for thousands of years for a multitude of health issues including ulcers and reflux. The benefits you'll be getting from aloe vera go far beyond constipation.

Aloe vera can be found in most Mexican fruit stores as well as in well stocked kosher supermarkets.

HEALTH CENTER

GINGER

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Ginger is another fantastic herb and spice that is cheap and easy to find in all supermarkets. It is especially available during the Pesach season because many people use ginger to make charoses. Ginger is an incredible anti-inflammatory herb and those properties will take pressure off the lower intestines. It also is a gentle laxative and will therefore help the bowels move easily. Ginger aids in digestion and assimilation, which we can always use more of on Pesach.

Ginger is a star when it comes

to heartburn and nausea too, so you'll be getting plenty of benefits by utilizing this wonderful herb. Some ways to use ginger are to include it in food you're preparing like soups, vegetable sides and salads.

Something else that's very helpful is making ginger tea by simply taking an inch of ginger root, cutting it into paper thin coins and letting it steep in a cup of freshly boiled hot water.

After allowing it to steep for 15 minutes, it's ready to drink.

You can also make an iced tea and sip throughout the day.

FRESH JUICE Nothing gets things moving like freshly pressed juice does. Obviously, you can only do this Chol HaMoed but it's so amazing that it's worth it just for then. I invested in a Pesach juicer my first year of marriage because I knew how important having one is. Fresh juice gets peristalsis action going immediately which then starts causing movement in the bowels. You can add ginger to your fresh juice too for a double whammy. You can juice peeled lemons, apples, pears, pineapple, romaine lettuce, cucumbers, beets, carrots and celery. Try combining some fruits with some vegetables.

Add apples to all your combinations to make sure they're palatable and enjoyable. If you have a slow juicer, you can make juice ahead of Yom Tov and have some the first days when you feel like you need some help. Juice typically lasts 3-4 days in an airtight container.

I truly hope these tips help to alleviate any digestive or constipation issues you may experience over Yom Tov and you get to enjoy a symptomfree Chag. Wishing you and your family a Chag Kosher VSameach!

Suri Sprei is the founder of Wellness Redefined and is a graduate of the Global College of Natural Medicine. She is a Certified Holistic Health Practitioner and Nutritional Consultant and has 15 years of experience in her field helping clients navigate chronic health challenges through food, herbs and supplements. Her Instagram is @Wellness_Redefined1

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Tips from a Dietitian to Help

You Feel Lighter and More Energetic this Pesach

By Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD

HEALTH CENTER

Although filled with beauty, family bonding and a lot of other positive factors, oftentimes Pesach meals may leave us feeling uncomfortably full, heavy and lethargic. Beyond the foods and shiurim that we are obligated to eat, (speak with your Rav regarding any questions you may have about shiurim, etc.) we have the ability to choose foods and engage in behaviors that can help us reach our goal of feeling lighter and more energetic.

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If you love macaroons and matzah pizza or have a nostalgic connection to rainbow cake and matzah brie, have no fear. I am not here to tell you to avoid any foods, but rather to choose your meals and snacks wisely. Not only is the food we eat connected to how we feel, but also additional habits, behaviors and nuances of when we eat our food have an impact on our energy levels and beyond.

Esti Asher, MS, RDN, LD is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and member of the Nutritional Advisory Board of Wellspring Magazine. Esti is passionate about helping women reach their ultimate health and wellbeing potential inside and out. She shares credible, clear and inspiring nutrition information with women via her virtual private practice. Esti’s kind and positive approach not only benefits her clients, it also often has a positive ripple effect on their loved ones. To contact Esti with feedback or inquiries regarding her nutritional services, please e-mail her at: esti@estiashernutrition.com or visit estiashernutrition.com.

Disclaimer: The information in this article is for informational purposes only. This article is not meant to be used as Medical Nutrition Therapy and thus is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any health conditions. Please consult with your physician if you have specific questions regarding your health.

Each individual’s body reacts differently, but the following are 6 tips that usually have a universally beneficial outcome! Try them out – your digestive system and overall wellbeing will thank you!

1

Increase your physical activity. Whether this means taking a walk after meals or planning Chol HaMoed trips that involve you being on your feet, moving your body will help the efficiency of your digestive system and may also help you feel lighter and more energetic.

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2

Drink a lot of water. This is a common tip that is helpful in just about every area of our health. Drinking enough water has so many benefits, including an increase in energy and helping to flush out and clean your system. Aim to drink the amount of ounces that equals half of your body weight.

Emphasize fruits and vegetables. The high water and fiber content of fruits and vegetables helps prevent bloat and heaviness, leaving you feeling lighter and more satisfied. Eating an increased amount of fruits and vegetables also means that you will, by default, eat less of the processed and heavy foods that can zap us of our energy and may negatively impact our health.

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4

Include protein in your meals and snacks. Making sure to include protein when you sit down to eat – whether for a meal or a snack – will help with satiety. When we feel satisfied, we are less likely to eat bigger portions of foods that are high in fat and sugar and may consequently result in us feeling more energized and lighter on our feet.

Try to minimize eating after dinner or late at night.

Eating late usually leaves us feeling uncomfortably full both at night and the following morning. If you do not wake up feeling hungry for breakfast, then you probably ate too much, too late, the night before.

6

Sleep. Do not underestimate the value of getting enough sleep. With busy days and nights leading up to Pesach being a common occurrence among many of us, we may go into Pesach feeling tired and sleep deprived. Make an effort to rejuvenate and sleep enough (via a good night’s sleep or even naps to catch up, if your schedule allows).

The amount of sleep that we get has an effect on our body in many ways, including our hormone levels; not enough sleep can definitely leave us feeling tired and lethargic. A boost in sleep is sure to lead to a boost in energy.

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RECIPES

• Pesach Simplified by Chantzy Weinstein • Pesach Meats fit for Royalty by Charnie Kohn

64 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

Chantzy Weinstein @chantzyw

Hi I’m Chantzy -I’m super excited to share with you some of my mos t favorite Pesach recipes. Years ago, I used to spend so much time trying new recipes each year - but now I hav e it pretty much down pat and I make the tried and true ones over and over.

Happy Cooking & Baking - and may you all have a kasherin Pesach . Make sure to check out my Instagram page @chantzyw for more recipes.

s: Here it goe

Pesach s Cracker e eggs - 6 extra larg otato starch p - 3 ½ cups - 4 tbl Sugar - 1 tsp salt do oil - 1 cup avoca ven to 350° 1) Preheat o okie sheets 2) Line 3 Co ent paper. with parchm l, m sized bow 3)In a mediu with fork. whisk eggs rest of 4) Add the nts. the ingredie 5) Mix well. and ixture into 3 6) Divide m the mixture onto spread the s as thinly as cookie sheet possible. pings 7) Add top . as preferred on 350° 10 minutes 8) Bake for from oven, 9) Remove uares. slice into sq 0 minutes. r another 3 10) Bake fo

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g g E h Pesac s e p e Cr gs hole eg - 30 w starch potato p u c ½ -1 salt - ¼ tsp r p wate u -3¾c arch, tato st o p , s g l. eg ge bow 1) Add to a lar in lt a s and rsion n imme a g in s 2) U ell. r, mix w blende ix well. ater, m w d d 3) A t size perfec e h er. t r o of batt 4) F ¼ cup e s u , e es, crep w crep very fe e r e t f 5) A g bowl e mixin h the give th hirl wit w r e h t ano starch r as the blende ttle. il may se spray o rget to o en f e ’t w n bet *Do g spray in k o o or c repe. every c

66 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

Pesach Apple P ie

This R ecipe makes (2) 9

-inch p ie roun -1½c ds. up sug ar - 1 tsp vanilla sugar - 1 cup oil - ¾ cu p grou nd alm - 1 egg onds - 3 cup s pota to star - 7-8 M ch acinto s ha - ½ tsp cinnam pples, sliced or cho on - 1 tsp pped lemon juice 1) Preh eat ov en to 3 50° 2) Mix 1 cup s u g oil, and ar, van illa sug almon ar, ds in a bowl.

3) Add 1 beate n egg and m 4) Add ix well potato . starch 5) Mix . by han d.

6) In a separa te bow remain l, mix a ing su pples gar, cin with th namon 7) Div e , and le ide cru mb mix mon ju ice. ture in 8) Pre to 4 eq ss 1 pa rt of c ual pa the bo r rts. umb m ttom o ixture f both into 9-inch 9) Lay round er app s. les.

10) Cr umble the rem crumb aining s on to p of th e apple 11) Bak s. e 1 hou r on 35 0°

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Grape Juice Sorbet

This re cipe m akes 40 4o z cont ainers .

- 6 cu ps wa ter - 3 cu ps sug ar - 1 cup lemon juice - 6 cu ps dar k grap e juice 1) Hea t the w ater a a high nd sug flame ar ove until d r issolv 2) Ad ed. d lem on juic e and 3) Brin grape g pot juice. t o a bo flame il and . turn o ff 4) Wh en the liquid cool, p is com our in pletely to 2 9 x13 pa 5) Fre ns. eze fo r 8 ho urs o 6) Re r over move night. from f reeze 7) Sco r. op the ices in proce to a fo ssor fi tted w od ith an 8) In s S blad mall b e. atche and h s, blen as a li d g u h ntil cr ter co cream eamy lor. (F ier co or an nsiste of free even n cy, rep zing a eat th nd ble is step nding 9) Div a seco ide int n o d time 4 oz c or 1 big ) ontain tub, a ers s pref erred.

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e e f f o C t Bes eam r C Ice

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h c a Pes es i d n Blo

le eggs - 8 who r s suga r - 2 cup n suga s brow p u c 2 s oil - 2 cup sugar vanilla . p s h t 6 o starc s potat er d w - 2 cup g po s . bakin nd nut u o r - 4 tsp g f o s g . ba chips colate - 2 6 oz o h c i s min - 2 cup 350° ven to o t a e h brown 1) Pre , sugar, s g g e gar in the nilla su 2) Mix a v d n oil, a sugar, r. e a mix starch, potato d nuts.

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70 / The Center Spirit / April 2022

PESAC H M E AT S FIT FOR R O YA LT Y

by Charny Kohn

@the.seasoned.palate Like every Yom Tov, Pesach is a holiday where traditions vary from family to family. In my family, we are pretty stringent on Pesach.

We only use a minimal amount of ingredients. I always leafed through magazines to find new recipes, but I found that I was often not able to make any of them because we did not eat most of the ingredients used in the recipes. These recipes are catered for everyone, for those of you who want tasty and unique recipes, and for those who usually cannot recreate Pesach recipes from magazines but want something different to add to your repertoire.

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SWEET P O TAT O STUFFED C HIC K EN CAPONS This recipe is for when you want something lighter than meat but still want a main dish fit for royalty.

The colors and flavors will impress all!

Sweet potato stuffing: - 4 sweet potatoes - 2 tablespoons potato starch - 1 tablespoon honey - 1 teaspoon salt - 1/8 teaspoon black pepper

Peel and dice the sweet potatoes. Add them to a pot and fill it with water. Bring to a boil and simmer for twenty minutes. Drain the water and mash the sweet potatoes with the potato starch, honey, salt, and pepper. Allow the mixture to cool before handling.

Chicken: - 8 boneless chicken thighs, skin on - 1 tablespoon salt - 1/2 teaspoon black pepper

Add about two tablespoons of the sweet potato mixture to the center of each capon. Roll and place in a 9x13 baking dish. Rub a bit of oil over the skin and season with salt and pepper. Cover tightly and bake at 350° for an hour and forty minutes.

Citrus glaze: - 4 tablespoons honey - 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice - 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed orange juice - 1/2 teaspoon salt

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Combine all the ingredients for the glaze. Brush the chicken with the glaze and raise the oven temperature to 400°. Bake uncovered for an additional twenty minutes.

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ONION CRUSTED CHUCK EYE ROAST If you have a question on Pesach, you can almost always be sure that the answer will be onions. So when I asked myself how I could give the classic roast a makeover, my first thought was... onions! We create a flavorful crust that will elevate the decadent roast by pureeing the onions and adding extra flavor from the shallots!

- 4 lb. chuck eye roast - 1 small onion - 2 shallots - 2 tablespoons salt - 1 tablespoon sugar - 1 teaspoon black pepper

In a bowl, combine all the ingredients besides the meat in a bowl and puree using a hand blender or food processor. Place the beef in a deep pan and cover with the onion puree. Place the dish on the middle rack in your oven. Broil for eight minutes per side.* Add a 1/4 cup of water, cover well and bake at 350° for an hour and forty-five minutes. *If your oven does not have a broil option. Sear the meat with a bit of oil for five minutes per side. After it is seared, place it in a deep baking pan and cover it with the onion puree. Proceed as instructed above.

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