Page 1

Student Magazine of the University of South Carolina

Winter 2011

...but for what?


liVe close liVe colleGe

sc an & le ar n >

apply online today @

great location to the stadium. private bedrooms & bathrooms. individual leases. 803.252.2634 | 21 NatioNal Guard rd 2 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

WINTER 2011 garnetandblack




COVER – TIS THE SEASON Is it really the “most wonderful time of the year?”

WEST OF COLUMBIA Columbia’s best restuarants, shops and venues are slightly west of the river.


8 9 10

MEN OF THE MOMENT: TWITTER Check out who we have on our #FF list.

WOMAN ON TOP: TAYLOR BEE This girl’s branded herself on the saying “B’ is for beauty.”

Q&A WITH DR. REBECCA PHILIPS Why is this doctor making her house calls to Williams Brice?


13 14 15

SPACE: GAMECOCK SHOP If you’ve ever had a Carolina sports question, here’s your answer.

SOAPBOX Show of hands: who’s excited about the new Twilight movie?

SPOTLIGHT This story will really leave its mark on you.

16 18

STORE WARS Check out G&B’s best places to jazz up your night.

SAVE & SPLURGE Looking for the perfect gift for that (not so) special someone?



HOME AGAIN This winter, it’s back to basics.


52 54 55 p.s.

56 59 60 61

FOUR YOUR CONSIDERATION Are you the next big thing in Columbia’s music scene?

LOCAL MUSIC: NED DURRETT & THE KINDLY GENTS What happens when you mix beerpong and music junkies? A local concert tour.

WUSC SPIN DJ And It Don’t Stop is your one stop shop for late night music.

BULLSH!TTING How to drink sweet tea and other Southern thangs.

QUIZ Which facial hair are you?

DISH Think Rant & Rave meets Missed Connections meets Overheard at South Carolina



Malia Griggs Elizabeth Howell Anna Westbury Sarah Kobos Stephanie Pope Jordan Osborne Olivia Hill Melissa Brown Joshua Rainwater Adam Siler

SECTION EDITORS Riley Carithers [Features], Julia Hienz [Portraits], Hannah Lathan [Scene], Katie Campbell [Entertainment], Jennifer Deaton [P.S.] WRITERS Georgina Bakes, Kim Barrett, Jeffrey Campbell, Taylor Cheney, Sara Hartley, Kate Hayworth, Thomasin Holly, Matt LaBorde, Denishia Macon, Kelly Nash, Kayln Oyer, Caroline Southwell, Mikelle Street, Emily Supil, Haley Willard COPY EDITORS Elizabeth Farry, Kristyn Sanito, Katie West DESIGNERS Jason Chau, Ashley McGarry, Emily Muldrow, Paulina Olivares PHOTOGRAPHERS Jeremy Aaron, Elle Andersen, Craig Crossley, Alayna Dunkerly, Caitlin Moore, Alli Quattlebaum, Lee Walker, Thomas Woodson ONLINE Xavier Edwards, Hallie Lipsmeyer, Zack Mattioni, Genelle Williams PUBLIC RELATIONS Renee Brooks, Amber Daniels, Annie Flick, Jacqueline Lip, Maddie McCarter, Claire Richard, Steph Rusher


Scott Lindenberg Sarah Scarborough Edgar Santana C. Neil Scott Cecile Holmes

ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Christopher Beauregard, Adam Harms, Dana Jennings, Philip Kiselick, Chris Lemmetti, Casey McClary, Rebecca Popp, Quincy Robinson CREATIVE SERVICES Jemimah Ekeh, Maddie McDowell, Amber Sowell, Gabe Will

ADVERTISING (803) 777-3888 TO CONTACT G&B, EMAIL GANDBE@SC.EDU OR VISIT WWW.GANDBMAGAZINE.COM Garnet & Black magazine is produced four times a year by students of the University of South Carolina and is distributed free to members of the University community. All editors and staff members can be contacted at (803) 777-1149. The office is located in Russell House room 339. Email letters to the editor to or to Garnet & Black magazine, Student Media, 1400 Greene Street, Columbia, SC 29208. Letters should be 250-400 words and must include name, address, phone number and academic information (if applicable). Garnet & Black reserves the right to edit for libel, style and space. Anonymous letters will not be published. 4 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

Winter 2011 volume 18 issue 02




Ashley McGarry is a thirdyear visual communications student. “I have been involved in student media since freshman year, but this is the first year I’ve worked with G&B.” She has designed for both issues of G&B this year, and her work can be seen on pgs. 13-15.

Elle Andersen, second-year environmental science student, never took photos for G&B before contributing two of her photographs to this issue. About her Space photo she says, “It was a pleasure meeting Mike at the Gamecock Shop, and I wish we could have fit all his treasures in the photo.” Check out her work on pgs. 13 and 26.

MATT LABORDE Matt LaBorde is a fourthyear media arts student. He wrote this issue’s quiz and modeled in the style spread. “I really enjoyed working with so many talented people on G&B’s production staff.” Check out his modeling, starting on pg. 32, and his quiz on pg. 59.

SARA HARTLEY Fourth-year economics student Sara Hartley, has written for The Daily Gamecock, but this was her first time writing for G&B. “Writing a feature story has been challenging, but it was a great learning experience, especially since religion was a new topic for me to cover.” Check out her article, “Tis the Season,” on pg. 24.



Romeo and Juliet


@ 1400 WHEAT ST., 8 P.M. Come see USC Lab Theatre director Robert Richmond’s production of this Shakespearean play, starring Danielle Peterson and Jake Mesches. It will show once a night from the 16th to the 20th, starting at 8 p.m. Tickets are $5 at the door.

Lights Before Christmas

11.30 Rookie of the Year


@ NEW BROOKLAND TAVERN, 7 P.M. Come out to NBT and see Rookie of the Year, The Icarus Account and Mechanical Kids live. This venue has brought several of your favorite artists to Columbia over the last few years and this concert is shaping up to be another great experience with a price to match.

@ FIVE POINTS, 7 P.M.-10 P.M. Right after the last day of classes have finished, this Airing and Grievances Bar Tour starts just in time. A tour of 12 bars, this event encourages you to drink and air your complaints on everything 2011.

@ RIVERBANKS ZOO, 6-9 P.M. Looking for a nice way to spend the evening with Mr(s). Claus? The Lights Before Christmas is a great, inexpensive way to get into the holiday mood without going too far from home. Tickets are $8 and can be bought in advance.

Fourth Annual Festivus

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 5

6 | GARNET & BLACK 2011


There comes a time in everyone’s life when they have to decide what they want. For some it’s simple: a house, a happy marriage and a few kids. Others simply want more. Somewhere along the way, we meet someone that changes our lives for the better. It doesn’t always take a huge event, but it happens. As this winter issue comes to a close, the G&B family says goodbye to two of their own. Like the magazine, they have impacted my life in ways that could never have been imagined. From font families to workflows, they have left their mark all over the pages of this magazine, the university, and the people that have had the pleasure of meeting them. This issue has been far from typical for many of the people involved. Despite the late nights/ early mornings spent in the G&B office, we’ve never forgotten who we are or where we’ve come from. No matter how far we stray, we will always be at home when we’re with our fellow Carolinians. As we welcome new faces to the Carolina family (pg. 10), we say goodbye to those that have helped build our past (pg. 14). We must remember that as Carolina students we are one body. No matter our religion (pg. 24) or lack thereof, we all end up going home eventually. We will always hold on to the memories and friendships we have made along the way.

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 7


@garnetandblack readers: need some diversity in your Twitter news feed? Haven’t been convinced to set up your own yet? Check out our follow-worthy Men of the Moment. Their tweets are sure to keep you coming back for more!

“The Freshman”

“The Comedian”

“The Business Man”

@MichaelDanko, a first-year student from Indian Land, SC, uses Twitter as a way to share personal thoughts, locations and moments of his day. Although they may seem like normal tasks to Michael, readers get a glimpse of his realizations about college life as a freshman. Michael’s tweets are witty and entertaining as he navigates his way around campus and college life.

Daniel Wacha, or @WokkaWokkaWokka, is a second-year chemistry/pre-med student from Caldwell, NJ, and his tweets reflect the same style of the comedians, movies and TV writers that he follows–quick, random and funny. He views Twitter as an effective, informative tool to get both breaking news and hilarious internet stories. “I’m pretty convinced that Twitter is the only way I’ll ever be successful or famous,” Daniel says.

@StephenCasella, a second-year marketing and finance student from Pawley’s Island, SC, has been investing since the age of nine and brings his insight to Twitter. A majority of his activity includes articles and personal opinions about the national and global economy. “Only allowing 140 characters per tweet forces the user to make sure he voices his most important ideas,” Stephen says.

“Went to find a quick fact on The Gettysburg Address on Wikipedia. Now I know Billy Ray Cyrus’s complete discography. S--t #WikipediaBlackout”

Check out some of his stock tips: “Market up, dollar up... #Gold up? Something to take a look at. $GLD”

“How many people can fit into an elevator? My record for the Thomas Cooper Library is 17. Anyone want to beat it?” “Professor Joke: “Chapter 11 is how cells communicate. Anyone know? Through Cell phones!!”

“I’m like the #dubstep of dating chicks; Comes off fun with a lot of promise, but eventually ends up sounding dumb and boring. #wobblewobble” “I like to believe that there is a utopia somewhere in which the Taco Bells have an item called the ‘bluntwrap supreme.’ #TargetDemographic””

8 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

“FLASH: Netflix stock reaches doubledigits after hours down 15%, misses earnings, loses 800K subscribers in Q3. $NFLX was at $300 in July.” “Dow flirting with 11000 on possible Greek default this weekend, ECB resignation. #Euro #Dollar” “Bot $FXE Dec 131/128 put spread @ 0.59. Short #Euro is best market hedge in town imo”


YouTube celebrity:



Taylor Bee, creator and face of the “BeeIsForBeeauty” YouTube channel that boasts more than 17,000 subscribers, believes beauty is multifaceted. “How you feel on the inside can affect what’s on the outside, and makeup can give you that inner confidence,” Taylor says. After prompting and pushing from her Bare Essentials co-workers a little more than a year ago, the third-year fashion merchandising student’s on-camera life began. Taylor has since performed a balancing act among school, her job and her YouTube duties. “School comes first, but after classes I go through a list of video requests for ideas,” Taylor says. This is no little list. Taylor sifts through more than 150 suggestions of possible tutorials, organized by level of viewer demand. In addition to this barrage of requests, the makeup queen receives tons of messages from fans and aims to

Check out Taylor’s videos at:

respond to about 50 per day. She writes to fans before and after classes and around the time she records, edits and uploads her new videos. Thousands of people love to watch her talk about beauty, but she’s not brazen. Approach her on the street or in Sephora and she’ll probably blush. “When you first meet me, I’m really shy,” Taylor says. “I’m scared to death of public speaking. I help others with confidence, but I’m also helping myself!” Companies like Knockout by Design, Handbag Heaven and Lux Addiction have reached out to Taylor to host giveaways of their products on her channel—promotions she gladly accepts. “I’m mainly hoping that I’ll gain more recognition through it,” Taylor explains. With dreams of owning a clothing line, by building a brand and image through her channel, Taylor is off to a great beginning.



WITH Dr. Rebecca Phillips, USC’s new band director, is a self-proclaimed “band geek” from Washington, DC. She has had an illustrious music career, having worked at Louisiana State University and the University of South Florida before coming to Gamecock country. Dr. Phillips not only wants to increase the marching band’s size but also generate greater excitement among fans.

Q: What was your initial reaction when you were offered the position as USC’s band director? A: I didn’t see it coming. Someone else was already filling this position so it was a surprise to be approached. It’s a big task and time commitment; however, I really care about the students and the time they put into this. I was happy to take on the challenge and be part of a change. Q: How has your prior band experience prepared you for this job? A: LSU is an SEC school so it has a similar football environment. Their band program has been very successful, and I wanted to implement some of those ideas at USC. At USF, the program was brand new, so they were building all new traditions. That helped me prepare to build on established and loved traditions at the University of South Carolina. Q: What are your plans to help improve the band’s image? A: I want to make sure our product is good and fun, and we’ve successfully begun accomplishing that. We’ve increased the band’s level of performance by participating in as many activities as we possibly can. Creating an environment at games that students like and want to stay involved in helps create a positive image. Q: Is your personality incorporated in the band? A: A little bit. In this case, personality is added more in the learning process rather than the final product. It’s important to me that the members are enjoying themselves during rehearsal. As far as the halftime shows are concerned, it’s all about the pacing–can we keep the audience interested in what we’re doing for the time we’re on the field? Q: How do you get to know the members of your band? A: I learn their personalities between games and rehearsals, I learn their personalities. Many of them end up in my concert band, and it’s interesting to see them in a different environment. A lot of these kids aren’t music majors so I wouldn’t see them if it wasn’t for the marching band, which is really cool. I love to hear about what they’re doing with their majors and what they like about USC. Q: How long have you been involved with music? A: I’ve been around it since I was a child. I started playing the trombone and piano when I was young. My grandfather was in a Navy band that was assigned to the president. They performed at White House events, Arlington Cemetery, inaugurations, all those kinds of things. My father and uncle performed in that same group, and my grandmother was a concert pianist and opera singer in Chicago. Q: Who is your favorite musician? A: A lot of musicians I like are composers, particularly Mahler, a German symphony writer. More current groups that I like have wind instruments and brass lines. Chicago and Tower of Power are great. These guys actually play; everything’s so electronic these days. I feel like it’s almost fake.

10 | GARNET & BLACK 2011


I really care about the students and the time they put into this. I was happy to take on the challenge and be part of a change.


2011 GARNET & BLACK | 11

12 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

What you see in the store is a small fraction of Mike’s actual collection. He estimates that he could fill a 1520,000 square foot space with the entire thing. On the shop’s Facebook, you’ll find photo archives of Gamecock cheerleaders dating back to ’42, a 1970s Cocky rocking suede Converse All Stars, a 1965 photo of the Carolina Coquettes (wearing the outfit in Mike’s store), even one of Sidney Rice with Lou Sossamon, USC’s first all-American.

George Rogers’ New Orleans Saints game jersey, where he was rookie of the year in 1981.

“I want to remind people so they know what they’re connected to, so they’re proud of the deep history of this university and all it has accomplished. Then, these stories become yours.”

We found one of Ray Tanner’s jerseys in the shop’s new College World Series section. It was sitting in front of a Michael Roth billboard from Omaha, tucked next to an autographed photo of Tanner and Florida head coach Kevin O’Sullivan.

Gamecock sports footage plays on mismatched TVs throughout the shop, ranging from 1946 football film, which was the year of the counterfeit tickets, to the Cocks’ most recent Omaha victory.

One of the shop’s more recent additions is this 1960s Carolina Coquettes outfit, complete with the original hat.


“Our vein is history,” Mike Safran, proud owner of The Gamecock Shop and 1983 USC grad, says. His shop, lined floor to ceiling with mascot garb, vintage posters and photos that reach into the 1800’s, looks like a museum, but it’s all for sale. Mike (who has known USC’s original Cocky since the 2nd grade) welcomes all lovers of Gamecock nation to his store for a little shopping among a lot of stories. The Gamecock Shop, inside Safran’s Antiques, is open Tuesday through Saturday from 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 13





Movies about vampires used to be scary. Now we have pretty, sparkly Mr. Cullen, who spends five films trying not to nom-nom on his vapid, human girlfriend. Face it: Stephenie Meyer has de-fanged vampires. There is a wealth of frightening supernatural creatures who have yet to shine on the silver screen, and they’d be far scarier—and just more interesting—to watch. Here’s a sampling for your viewing pleasure: Manticore: With a lion’s body, shark teeth and a scorpion tail, the manticore sounds like a genetic experiment gone wrong—and on the loose. How’s that for a spine-tingling sci-fi star? The sole fact that the manticore has three rows of needle sharp teeth ensures it’ll wreak havoc with which “Twilight” mandibles can’t compete. Those vampires’ nonthreatening teeth belong in a Crest toothpaste ad. Minotaur: How would you like to be trapped in a maze with a ravenous bull-man, armed solely with the paltry contents of your girlfriend’s sewing kit? Yeah, Greek hero, Theseus, wasn’t too excited either, but “man vs. monster” is a more promising concept than “girl vs. vampire.” Oh. Wait. That’s just her gorgeous, protective, perfect boyfriend. Never mind.” Paradoxicorn: My summer camp counselor explained this to me so you might not have heard of it, but it’s still more interesting than the bloodsucking pansies of “Twilight.” The paradoxicorn is an existential nightmare described only in one statement: If you don’t believe in it, it exists. Victims go mad attempting to comprehend its logic. I would say “Twilight” did the same to me, until I realized it makes no sense. Don’t waste your precious dollars to see the Barbie doll vampires in “Breaking Dawn: Part 1.” Save your cash for future films with real thrills and chills.

Since the first “Twilight” novel dropped in 2005, “twihards” have become a force to be reckoned with. The story appeals to a wide demographic, from college kids to 12-year-old girls (and boys) barely able to get into theaters to 40-year-old moms vicariously living their teenage desires. The plot offers an escape from reality as well as issues we can relate to. I mean, who hasn’t had to choose between two overly attractive men willing to risk their lives for your happiness at least once? Speaking of overly attractive men, vampire shows have a lot of them. Robert Pattinson, Stephen Moyer and Paul Wesley are reason enough to sink your teeth into the craze. HBO’s “True Blood” and CW’s “The Vampire Diaries” offer the same convoluted love triangles, mixed with some intense sexual chemistry and genetically gifted, so-called “outcasts.” Though characters like Sookie Stackhouse and Elena Gilbert deal with issues that most USC students don’t (like a she-wolf breaking into your house and murdering your best friend), they’re really just like you and me beneath their supernatural exteriors. We can all empathize with the deeplyrooted rivalry between werewolves and vampires (USC vs. Clemson, anyone?) or having that significant other your parents just don’t approve of (maybe not because he/she is a bloodsucker, but you get the point). William and Kate’s wedding may have been cool and all, but the marriage of the future Mr. and Mrs. Cullen will definitely be the most celebrated event of the season.

14 | GARNET & BLACK 2011


The newest “Twilight” saga, “Breaking Dawn: Part 1,” comes out this month. You may already have your costume and fake blood ready to go for the midnight premiere, or you might be sick of this twiharding madness, waiting for just about any other supernatural creature to take vampires’ place.





Her ink:

His ink:

Roxy dedicated each of her four tattoos to important people in her life. She has two tats on her wrist, one of which she got with her best friend. The other, the Hercules constellation, is for her mom. Roxy’s other two, a sculpture that her father created (on her side), and a watercolor, originally painted by her grandfather (on her back), are her favorites.

What her parents think: “My mom hates my tattoos. My dad is okay with them, though. I hid my first one, my back piece, from him until he saw it peeking out of my shirt. He took a better look at it and walked on. He couldn’t be mad at me because I tattooed a piece of his father’s artwork on my back. He even picked out which sculpture of his he wanted me to get on my side.”


Dylan was 18 years old when he got his only current tattoo, the symbol of Sicily. His mother and her family are from Sicily, and the culture remains prominent in his life. The image that both he and the Sicilian flag bare probably won’t be his last piece of ink. “My friend and I almost got one together recently, but we held off,” Dylan says. “It was more of a joke, and we decided it probably wasn’t a good idea to get something permanent on a whim.”

What his parents think: “My mom had just finished reading “The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo” so she thought it was pretty cool that I had one. And, of course, she’s Sicilian. When I showed my dad, the first thing he said was, ‘Well... you’re gonna have that for the rest of your life.’”



JULIAN LANIER, SOPHOMORE ENGLISH STUDENT His ink: Julian has two tattoos and big plans to start a full leg sleeve as a graduation present to himself. On 10/10/10, a tattoo artist had a $10 tattoo special. When his friend asked if he wanted to get a tattoo, Julian was down... as long as his friend paid for it. “The next thing I knew,” Julian says, “I had a bike tattoo on my knee.” His equality tattoo on his arm wins out as his favorite. To Julian, the large, colorful piece represents family and cultural ties. He also likes that it could pass as artwork rather than just a symbol. “And I actually paid for this one,” Julian says.

What his parents think: “My parents hate that I have tattoos. I hid it from them for about a year and a half.” CLAIRE O’BOYLE, ,SENIOR VISUAL COMMUNICATIONS STUDENT

Her ink: Of her three tattoos, the sunglasseswearing pizza slice above Claire’s right knee is her favorite. “It’s ridiculous and so me,” Claire says. It’s also pretty telling of her mood. “The guy I’m dating knows I’m hungry when he catches me staring at it.”

What her parents think: “Since my first two tattoos are kind of jokes, my parents were upset about them. When I got my last one, they gave up, but they do like it more because it’s about family.”


2011 GARNET & BLACK | 15





16 | GARNET & BLACK 2011


SPEAKEASY Speakeasy in Five Points, with its long mahogany bar and dark leather couches, exudes the style, class and panache akin to the 1950s, Rat Pack scene. Live jazz is on Thursday and Saturday nights. The sound is as classic as the venue--think Miles Davis and Coltrane, mixed with a bit more attitude as the night unfolds.

ROSSO TRATTORIA Mouthwatering, locally bought food and scarlett walls make Rosso Trattoria Italia a solid first date choice. If it’s your first Rosso experience, ask the head chef, Travis Rayle, to make you something unique to start your meal--he’ll be more than obliged! Jazz on Saturday is killer. Don Russo plays fresh, original renditions of everything from Bill Whithers to The Beatles, even Jason Mraz.

HUNTER GATHERER Hunter Gatherer feels more like a rustic hunting lodge with exposed vats of beer behind the bar and walls lined with bags of hops and barley. Choose from four local brews made in-house--a rarity in this state. Enjoyed your beer? Ask for a growler: a jug for to-go orders of your favorite brew. Thursday night jazz is an equally delicious local gem. Skip Pearson leads a band that is a revolving door of Columbia talent. Oh, and the specials are an absolute must. I’d go with the marinated pork chop topped with pimento cheese.


2011 GARNET & BLACK | 17

Holiday Gifts


With the holidays creeping up, it can be tricky to figure out which friends or family members to spend your precious George Washingtons on—and more importantly, when you should save or splurge. Some loved ones are more dear to you than others, and you want to show them that. Or maybe you just owe them one. Here are some tips to help you decide who’s really worth it and who’s...well, NOT.

friends save

splurge You’ve known your best friend since forever ago, and you’ve got a major (b)romance going on, whether you’re having wine nights with “Friends” reruns or playing ten games of basketball at Strom. Your bestie is also Superman and somehow manages to get you home in one piece and into your pajamas without fail. No simple task. SPLURGE for the latest season of the TV show you’re both nuts about and watch during quality BFF time. Or e-mail this Nike link, and have your friend custom design his or her dream kicks.

You met on the first day of orientation, and you’re both really into flash mobs. Naturally you became “best friends,” and within a week, you were also lab partners and aspiring pong partners. Now he texts you every weekend, when he’s not calling you that is—or re-blogging your Tumblr posts... or bringing you pumpkin lattes because you tweeted about them once. He was a pretty good lab partner, though, and he did call you when you slept through your alarm and almost missed the exam. SAVE, and get him a rainbow of mini strobe lights from Target. You can throw in a lightup coaster to match. Your friend’s pong days are over? Get ’em a pair of reindeer knee-socks. Still fun. Still festive.


&girlfriend save

You met your girlfriend three weeks ago in line at Santorini’s. She was pretty into you, but you’re starting to think it might’ve been because she was starving and forgot her wallet, so you fed her. Since then, you’ve seen each other whenever she’s “free,” which seems to be only at odd times in the depths of Thomas Cooper, and she still refuses to hold your hand. Maybe you’re really just “talking.” SAVE, and get her a Chicfil-A gift card. Food seems like your strong point. Maybe she’ll remember why she liked you in the first place. Trying to part ways? Get her one of those fake roses with the creepy teddy bear from the gas station. 18 | GARNET GARNET &&BLACK BLACK 2011 2011



ou’re s remem courin ber the g for h se tips in your on ol lif Instead e and who to what to get t iday gifts he spe avoid s , of sear cial pen ch cuddle up in y ing frantically ding the big people o b and wa f tch Ch ur reindeer s or last-minut ucks on. e prese ristmas weater, n movie marath sip hot choc ts, olate ons all winter break.

splurge Your brother is a huge baseball fan. Well, rephrase: Your brother is a loud mouth who happened to see you smash your parents’ digital camera (which is now conveniently lost) the last time you were home. SPLURGE, and get him a ticket to a his team’s season opener. Throw in a slamming tailgate spread for good measure.

family save

splurge You’ve been dating your sweetheart for almost a year, and your anniversary falls perfectly over winter break. Get him or her something that says, “One day I’m going to marry you... and probably drop four months of my salary on your engagement ring.” SPLURGE on a road trip and concert tickets to your favorite band who’s been on every mixed CD you’ve exchanged since day one.

Your mother BIRTHED you. She deserves the world for that, but you’re in college, and you’re poor. Plus, she loves everything you’ve ever done on this green Earth. Remember the macaroni/lima beans cards you made in kindergarten? That’ll do. SAVE, and make her a kitschy collage that she can hang on the fridge. Don’t forget to go all out on the writing inside—think Hallmark level cheesiness times 10.



A lot of students live in a bubble. We limit ourselves to shopping and eating within the confines of Five Points and the Vista. We run into the normal weekend crowds and visit the same restaurants and stores. After almost three years at USC, I am guilty of this as well. In an effort to branch out, discovered what West Columbia has to offer. Whether you are looking for a new spot to grab Sunday morning brunch, a bargain store to hunt for the perfect DIY project or a venue to expand your musical taste buds, check out what lies west of the Congaree River, the other side of Columbia.

Cafe Strudel Cafe Strudel has made a name for itself with Columbia locals, and it’s time for students to take notice of this quaint hideaway across the bridge. The wait staff boasts that, “everything is legendary,” and accordingly, the breakfast, lunch and dessert spot offers an array of delicious items to satisfy your taste buds. If you need a good meal to recover from a rough night out, order the aptly named Hangover Hash Browns. These famous hash browns rightfully earned a claim to fame on the pages of Southern Living. Try Cafe Strudel to escape the lines and distractions of coffee shops closer to campus. Grab a bottomless cup of coffee for under $3; spend quiet study time upstairs or take a seat outside, and check out the café’s drool-worthy daily specials.

118 State Street \\

20 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

Ed’s Editions Used Bookstore If you are looking to buy a unique gift or a place to spend a long afternoon, head over to Ed’s Edition Used Bookstore. From the moment shoppers walk in, they are greeted by the musty smell of weathered pages and the sight of towering shelves. Books range in price from $1 to $10,000. The store houses a special collection of rare and first edition books, all locked in the “Rare Book Room.” The collection includes originals by Mark Twain and an early Quran. The family owned shop opened in 2001, fulfilling a long-time dream of its owner, Ed. Ed’s son, Eric, now runs the store full-time and loves showing shoppers around and sharing the stories behind his favorite book titles.

406 Meeting Street \\

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 21

Conundrum Newcomer Conundrum Music Hall is determined to make an impact on the local music scene. Their website claims to “bring you the music you know you need, as well as the music you don’t yet even know you need.” Conundrum opened this past summer and has featured acts from a range of genres, such as local pop band Death of Paris and the talented guitarist Glenn Jones. The venue focuses on showcasing musical acts with adventurous, challenging sounds. The cozy one-room venue offers just enough space for concert-goers to enjoy an intimate show with clear sound. There is a small bar with reasonable drink prices and snacks for late-night munchies. The live shows normally come through every weekend and some nights during the week. If you are a music lover, check out Conundrum’s website, or like them on Facebook to stay on top of upcoming shows and featured musical talents.

626 Meeting Street \\

116 Wine & Espresso Bar Drive outside the normal five-mile campus radius, and venture into a new bar, one not suited to the typical 5 Points antics. One part laid-back coffee shop, one part art gallery and one part food and wine bar, 116’s casual atmosphere welcomes customers to “come as you are.” The Spanish influenced menu features a full range of tapas dishes such as the goat cheese dip and Latin style shrimp scampi. If you get lost among which mouth watering dish to order for the evening, ask the knowledgeable staff for suggestions on the menu’s best food and wine pairings. The personal service and hangout feel of the mix-matched furniture ensure a relaxing and enjoyable evening. Brighten the beginning of a long work week by checking out 116’s live music on Tuesday nights.

116 State St. \\

Terra Just beyond the Gervais Street Bridge lies Terra, an upscale eatery with a diverse menu that offers an alternative to the typical fine dining. Their website claims the motto, “Simple Food without Pretension,” offering a range of fried oysters to ribeye steak and wood oven pizza. Not only that, but Terra is also committed to supporting local farmers and incorporating locally grown products into its simple yet savory dishes. Terra is located outside the Vista and doesn’t experience the typical Friday night overcrowding of other popular weekend spots. My mother is the definition of a food and wine snob, and she loves to recommend this place to out-of-towners. Whether you are looking to impress a date or simply to get a nice meal out of your parents (cough), the warm, inviting atmosphere of Terra makes traveling two minutes away from your usual Vista haunts well worth the ride.

100 State Street \\

Habitat for Humanity ReStore After moving into my new house, I hunted down bargains to furnish my place. I discovered ReStore, a nonprofit organization connected with Habitat for Humanity. ReStore collects donations of furniture, building materials and other household appliances, which are then resold, and all of the profits benefit Habitat for Humanity homes. Don’t be mistaken by its unassuming gray exterior. Inside, Restore is full of equipment and used furniture—from desks to couches that add just the right touch to spice up a room. Some pieces might require you to break out your toolbox and get a little crafty, but the discount prices can’t be beaten. For those looking to give back to the community who don’t have anything to donate, ReStore is a great place to volunteer. After Restore, check out other discount stores in West Columbia such as Goodwill and His House.

483 Sunset Boulevard \\

After one evening in West Columbia, the food, music and people will keep you coming back for more. Before you leave Columbia, discover these great places outside the Vista and Five Points. Don’t miss out on some of the best kept secrets in Columbia that lie just a short drive west.

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 23

tis the



New Year’s. Fourth of July. Thanksgiving. Christmas. These are all major national holidays, but which is unlike the others? Take a closer look, and you’ll find that of these — and of all 10 public holidays established by U.S. Federal law — Christmas is the only one with religious significance. Countless Americans do not share Christian beliefs and religious celebrations, and in an era of political correctness, is it “PC” to place such an emphasis on a “holiday season” that is not all-encompassing? What does this time mean for those who celebrate the holiday—and for those who do not? In search of answers, I talked to several students who have an array of religious approaches and belief systems. I realize that my list barely begins to scratch the surface of existing beliefs, but I tried to incorporate a far-reaching spectrum of opinions by speaking with those who identify as Christian, Hindu, Jewish, agnostic, Muslim and atheist. 24 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

Scott Heise, Christian,



cott Heise, a junior exercise science major, is a firm believer in celebrating Christmas but dislikes the way it has become commercialized in the U.S. “Everything is about presents and decorations,” he says. “We’ve made something that was great all about us.” While it can be easy to fall into the hype of giftgiving, Scott says his family helps him remember the meaning of the holiday as a celebration of Christ’s birth. Traditionally, they volunteer at their church around Christmas, which Scott says is a way to spend valuable time together while serving the Lord. He thinks community plays a large role in maintaining one’s faith, especially after moving away from home. In college, Scott is involved with Young Life and is now the organization’s president. Young Life is a nationwide, non-denominational organization that places young adult leaders at high schools to mentor younger students and teach them about Christianity. Through his involvement with this group, Scott says he has found a strong community that helps him to develop his own faith while sharing it with others. “Our job is to go to high schools and make relationships with kids and kind of walk alongside them, sharing Jesus along the way,” he says. Though he was raised Baptist, Scott no longer affiliates himself with any particular branch of Christianity because he thinks the fundamental beliefs in his god and Jesus are what should be important. “I love Jesus, and I feel like people get caught up in the details when they shouldn’t,” he says.

Arti Patel, Hindu


here aren’t any Hindu holidays in the winter, but this doesn’t mean Arti Patel feels left out. In fact, she enjoys taking part in Christmas festivities with family and

friends. “I love when Christmas comes around because of how it is advertised with the beautiful decor of lights and Christmas gifts,” says the fourth-year exercise science student. “If Christmas wasn’t here, I feel like the winter season would be incomplete.” Devoted to her faith, Hinduism originated in India and the faith worships many gods as manifestations of one supreme God, called Brahman. However, Arti enjoys learning about other religions as a way to find common ground with people who have different beliefs. She has been involved with the Methodist Student Network for service projects, along with the Indian Cultural Exchange and Omega Phi Alpha. “I believe in all religions working together to form peace,” she says.

26 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

While she appreciates other beliefs, Arti says her own faith remains strong. She prays every day, repeating hymns that she knows by heart in the ancient Sanskrit language, and sometimes attends a Hindu temple in Columbia. “Ever since I was little, my mother would sing daily hymns and prayers with me,” she says. “These rituals have become a part of my daily life, and it is one of the most important things that I do within the day.” Arti celebrates the Hindu holidays, called festivals, throughout the year. They are all major, she says, and typically focus on the celebration of prosperity, faith and the good things to come. “During [Diwali or the Festival of Lights], families and friends usually get together and celebrate with fireworks to wade away the evil spirits,” Arti says. “The house is usually cleaned, delicious home-cooked meals are made, sweets are shared and new clothes are bought.” The following day is Sal Mubarak, meaning “Happy New Year,” during which everyone blesses each other for a good and prosperous year.

Scotty Shinbaum, Jewish


hat would you say is the most important Jewish holiday? If you’re singing dreidel, think again. “[Chanukah] is actually a minor holiday,” says Scotty Shinbaum, a fourth-year sport and entertainment management student. “But because it coincides with Christmas, and Christmas has become so commercialized, to an extent it’s become commercialized too.” In reality, Chanukah is not even one of the five major holidays commanded in the Torah, or first five books of the Bible, Scotty says. These holidays are Rashashana, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Passover and Shavuot. They are typically recognized by attending synagogue or gathering for meals with family, he says. Unlike Christianity, Judiasm does not believe that Jesus was the son of God but rather a rabbi who gained a strong following. Since Christmas conflicts with these beliefs, Scotty says the comfort level with the holiday depends on the individual. “As far as political correctness, many Jews recognize that Christianity is the dominant religion and belief in America, and therefore Christmas is celebrated by the majority of people,” he says. “Personally, I have no problem with people expressing their religion openly, as long as they are not imposing it on others.” As president of the Hillel Foundation and a member of Alpha Epsilon Pi, both Jewish organizations, Scotty was raised Jewish but was exposed to Christmas in his community and through Christian relatives. Because his mother had a Christian father and grew up celebrating Christmas, Scotty’s family usually has a small Christmas tree and stockings in their home. “It’s about bringing some personal meaning for her,” he says. “That’s more an exception than the rule though.” Outside of this celebration in the home, Scotty usually stays away from Christmas parties. Many other Jews do the same, he says, because they don’t feel comfortable celebrating a holiday for a different faith.

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 27

Roshni Rao, Agnostic


fter growing up in Bangalor, India with Hindu parents, Roshni Rao was exposed to a variety of different religions. “The more I started identifying myself with one particular religion the more questions came up, and I found a lot of holes,” she says. “I didn’t think that it was right for me to pick and choose what I wanted to believe, because I don’t believe in everything the Hindus say or everything the Bible says.” As an agnostic, Roshni doesn’t identify with any one religion but doesn’t deny the existence of God, either. Roshni is currently earning a PhD in immunology from the USC School of Medicine and is president of the Indian Student Organization. She likes aspects of different religions and participates in the holidays with friends and family members who are Hindu, Muslim and Christian. For example, she celebrates Christmas by visiting her relatives in California and exchanging gifts. While living in India, she would attend midnight Mass with her Christian friends and sing Christmas Carols with their families. “Christmas is a big deal for me as well, but it’s more about spending time with family, doing good and being good rather than saying I identify myself with being a Christian,” she says. As an international student and a non-Christian, Roshni doesn’t see anything politically incorrect about Christmas or the proclaimed “holiday season” and has never felt pressured to treat it is an exclusively Christian holiday. “In fact, I wish people would leave political correctness out of something so simple as Christmas, because to me Christmas is simply about coming together with people that mean the most to us,” she says. “At least during that part of the year, families make a sincere attempt at making time for one another and for that I am grateful.”

28 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

Joseph Welsh, Catholic

Everything in my life is influenced by Christ and none of it would be possible without Christmas.


t Joseph’s home parish in Aiken, SC, the Christmas decorations don’t come out until December 24. Waiting until Christmas Eve to decorate helps focus on the significance of the holiday as marking the birth of Jesus Christ, says the third-year international business and management student. He feels the holiday truly is the reason for the season, “Everything in my life is influenced by Christ and none of it would be possible without Christmas.” Traditions and reflection are important aspects of the holiday for Joseph, who practices Catholicism – a branch of Christianity that maintains the Catholic Church as the one true church founded by Jesus Christ. As president of the Newman Club, a campus organization for Catholic students, Joseph feels that most of his Christmas traditions are similar to other branches of Christianity. “We do go to Advent, which is the period before Christmas, and it’s a time of reflection and in some ways repentance,” he says. He has prayer books that help him prepare for the holiday

during this period, which is recognized by Catholics and some other Christian denominations. Since Advent is the liturgical season leading up to December 25, the Christmas holiday actually starts with Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, which Joseph says is a tradition for his family. Joseph sites community service as another important tradition around the holidays. The Newman Club’s main service project is an “Angel Tree,” where local underprivileged children write out their Christmas wish list on angel-shaped paper cutouts that are hung on a tree. The group members then take a few angels and buy the gifts as a way to give back to the community. In general, Joseph views Christmas as a reminder of what’s important in his life and as a time to focus on his faith. “It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the business of life, such as school, work and student organizations,” he says. “[Christmas] is a chance and challenge for me to concentrate more on my faith and strengthen my relationship with God.”

It’s pleasant to see the jolliness [of Christmas], and of course, as a Muslim, unity is very important. So seeing the people together is great, but I’m also upset that such an idea turned into something so commercial

Firas Freajah, Muslim 30 | GARNET & BLACK 2011


s someone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas at all, Firas Freejah has mixed emotions about the holiday season. The third-year international business and management student practices Islam, which follows the teachings of the prophet Muhammed and holds that the purpose of existence is to worship God. “It’s pleasant to see the jolliness [of Christmas], and of course, as a Muslim, unity is very important. So seeing the people together is great, but I’m also upset that such an idea turned into something so commercial,” Firas says, referring to how presents and secular traditions can overshadow the religious meaning of Christmas. “I appreciate the Christians who celebrate it with more of an idea to worship than [with] materialistic things.” Growing up in Jordan, Firas moved back to the U.S. in high school. He says that doubt and critical thinking led him to study religions and their chronology. From this, he concluded that Islam is the most rational faith for its origins as well as the harmony and structure it provides Muslims. For instance, Firas prays five times a day—which is called Salah or Salat—and also tries to read the Quran daily. The main Islamic holidays are Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha, which emphasize ideas such as sacrifice and devotion. “We celebrate the Islamic holidays by glorifying and praising God together, and then we have breakfast, and the children get toys or money usually,” he says. Firas chooses not to participate in any Christmas parties or traditions since the holiday is inconsistent with his beliefs, but he doesn’t see any political issues with its emphasis in the U.S. On Christmas day, he spends time reading, relaxing, visiting family and going to the Mosque for worship. “A Muslim wouldn’t feel left out [on Christmas] if he has a few Muslim friends,” he says. Despite his differing beliefs, Firas says he is happy for Christians’ celebration around the holiday, takes advantage of the Christmas sales and even gets the carols in his head from time to time.

Kelley Freeman, Atheist


elley Freeman, a third-year Russian Studies student, says she celebrates Christmas like the average American. “I go home, spend time with my family and enjoy a warm fire, dinner and the younger kids getting excited for Santa,” she says. “It’s just a time to celebrate the closeness of family and the winter season.” It takes a closer look to see that for Kelley, the holiday is anything but religious. As an atheist, someone who doesn’t subscribe to a religion, Kelley feels no spiritual connection to Christmas. She chooses not bow her head during the family prayer – a subtle sign of her de-conversion from Christianity, which began in high school. Though she wasn’t comfortable expressing her beliefs at the time, she is now a leader for other nonreligious students as president of Pastafarians at USC. Taking this public stance is not always easy, she notes. Kelley sometimes faces hostility for not believing in a god and has even been

called a devil-worshipper (an ironic name for someone who doesn’t believe in the devil). Because many Americans are uncomfortable with atheism, Kelley says it can be frustrating around the holidays when some are resistant to saying “Happy Holidays,” as a more inclusive substitute for “Merry Christmas,” or claim that atheists are trying to destroy Christmas. Though she thinks nativity scenes on government property are a church-state violation, Kelley doesn’t see anything politically incorrect with Christmas itself and expects it to be a dominant holiday in a country where Christianity is a major religion. Overall, she enjoys taking part in the celebrations and appreciates when others make an effort not to exclude non-Christians. “People of all faiths celebrate the holiday season for family, hope and love,” she says. “It’s nice when people recognize that there are other faiths and non-faiths that celebrate differently than them.”

Despite the many religious beliefs and non-beliefs that exist among students, Christmas certainly seems to have found a home in America. It also seems to include those who want to be included. And in the end, who doesn’t like a day off? Whether or not you deck the halls this season, we can all enjoy the day simply for what it is – a holiday.

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 31

32 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

home again

Staying cozy during those lazy mornings or hometown afternoons can get dull. Mix it up. This season, style is in the details.

PHOTOGRAPHY by Sarah Kobos CREATIVE DIRECTION by Elizabeth Howell STYLED by Melissa Brown, Paulina Olivares, Hallie Lipsmeyer, Christian Barker, Molly McNutt HAIR & MAKEUP by Julia Heinz & Stephanie Pope MODELS: Matthew Laborde, William Goodman, Rohail Kozi, Emily Sapier

34 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

On Rohail: Polo button-up from Gentlemen’s Closet; Jeans from Salty’s Board Shop. On Matt: Knit sweater from 2G’s; Jeans 2011 & BLACK | 35 from GARNET Sid and Nancy

36 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

Previous Page, On Emily: Tunic from Bohemian; Sweater from Bohemian Above, On Will: Crocheted sweater from Gentlemen’s Closet; Jeans from Salty’s Board Shop.

38 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

On Emily: Dress from Salty’s Board Shop; Peacoat from Sid and| Nancy; 2011 GARNET & BLACK 39 Silver Cuff from 2G’s

40 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

On Rohail: Sweater from Salty’s Board Shop; Jeans from Salty’s Board Shop; Shoes from Salty’s Board Shop; On Matt: Jeans from Sid and Nancy; Tee from Salty’s Board Shop; Letterman Jacket from Sid and Nancy; Beanie from Bohemian; On Emily: Jeggings from Bohemian; Coat from Bohemian; Necklace from 2G’s On Will: Jeans form Salty’s Board Shop; Tee from Sid and Nancy; from & Gentleman’s Leather 2011 Jacket GARNET BLACK | Closet 41

42 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

On Will: Tee from Sid and Nancy;

2011 Jacket GARNET BLACK | Closet 43 from & Gentleman’s

44 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

On Matt: Jeans from Sid and Nancy; Tee from Salty’s Board Shop; Jacket from Sid and Nancy; Hat from 2G’s

46 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

Previous Page, On Will: Jeans from Salty’s Board Shop; Tee from Sid and Nancy; Jacket from Gentlemen’s Closet On Emily: Corduroy jeggings from Bohemian; Crochet sweater from Bohemian; hat from 2G’s; Bracelet from Bohemian

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 47

On Emily: Jeggings from Bohemian; Button-up tunic from Salty’s Board Shop; Gloves from 2G’s; Scart from Bohemian; Beret from 2G’s

48 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 49

50 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

On Rohail: Jeans from Salty’s Board Shop; Polo button-up from Gentlemen’s Closet; Cardigan sweater from Sid and Nancy On Matt: Corduroy pants from Gentlemen’s Closet; polo button-up from Gentlemen’s Closet; Sweater from Gentlemen’s Closet On Will: Jeans from Salty’s Board Shop; Sweater from Sid and Nancy; On Emily: Sweater dress from Sid and Nancy; 2011 & from BLACK | 51 Necklace fromGARNET 2G’s; Watch Bohemian


Help Wanted


Are you on your way to be the next top band but need one more musician to get there? Looking for a player to goof around with on the weekends? Search no further. Here is a handful of USC musicians in search of something new—and their accompanying G&B exclusive audition videos.

Somer Merriman

Daniel Hill



IN SEARCH OF: fun & casual part-time commitment

IN SEARCH OF: laidback hobby to keep busy



Junior // Psychology

Somer discovered her singing talent as a little girl by performing in front of her family and later developed her voice through singing in her high school’s choir. Her music style is influenced a lot by ’60s and ’70s rock surf music and modern lo-fi—she likes to go for an obnoxiously loud and fun sound. Since Somer is busy focusing on other career goals, she’s just interested in having fun without anything too serious.

52 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

Freshman // Environmental Science

Daniel took up bass guitar at 11 years old. After practicing for a few years, he formed a band in high school that played a few charity events and festivals before breaking up for college. Daniel grew up listening to and playing classic rock but is interested in other music styles as well. Since his easy schedule leaves him with a lot of extra time, he’s looking for something fun to do on the side.

Jack Ryan

Sara Burns



IN SEARCH OF: creative musicians who know how to mix it up

IN SEARCH OF: experienced musicians to pick up regular gigs around Columbia

CONTACT: ryanjg@email



After receiving his first drum set for Christmas in middle school, joining the school band and later his high school’s jazz band, Jack realized his potential as a serious musician. He loves to mix jazz with a little bit of everything, which keeps his music funky and improvised. Jack is up for almost anything, whether it involves exploring a musical career or just relaxing and having a good time.

Sophomore // Business

Since first picking up a guitar six years ago, Sara has played shows at popular restaurants, concerts, festivals, weddings and other big events, typically playing between 40 and 50 songs per gig. She also sings and writes music. Sara mainly performs classic rock but is open to different music genres and is excited to see where her journey through the music world will lead her.

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 53

entertainment: local music



ho knew a game of beer pong would lead to audiences singing “Carolina Lullaby” by heart and an album release within seven months of forming the group? Ned Durrett and the Kindly Gents live up to their name as nice boys who began by “making noise together.” “And now,” they say, “we want to make some noise for you.” Ned Durrett, fourth-year English student and lead singer, started the band earlier this year with Mike De Kozlowski, fourthyear environmental science student and drummer. They jammed together, and it snowballed from there. Ned, Mike and their new bassist, fourth-year global supply chain and entrepreneurial management student Jerry ThompSon III, comprise this lively group that reaches out and touches people with their sound— literally. People line up and crowd around these guys just to shake their hands and share their excitement to follow their local performances. “We want everyone to leave wanting more and to have our songs stuck in their ears,” Mike says. “We want everyone to say, ‘Those guys are nice.’” 54 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

They personally thank as many people as possible to show gratitude for their support. Jerry claims Ned to be “a singing Cullen” because of the way people are drawn to his energy. Ned performed solo acts with just his guitar when he released his first album, “The Carolina EP.” It has since been their foundation as a group, as they adopted four of the five songs. While these tracks launched the group, they have since developed their own unique sound. They describe their sound as a combination of the Avett Brothers and the Black Keys, featuring Jack White on lead guitar. They’ve played at venues like Georgia Tech, The Money, CJ’s and The White Mule, and you can catch the gents Dec. 2 at Bey’s for their release show, Dec. 3 in Charleston at The Village Tavern and Dec. 10 at New Brookland Tavern. Look out for the release of their first album, “Up, Up My Friend,” in midNovember. Find them online at, and follow them on Twitter @NedDandtheKG.

WUSC 90.5

Delaney Mills


Show name & time: The Rest of Us Mondays, 10 p.m.-12 a.m. DJ name: DJ And It Don’t Stop Favorite band/artist: Electrelane What inspired you to become a DJ? I saw “Do the Right Thing” and wanted to be just like Samuel L. Jackson. Three fun facts: 1. I have a tattoo of a carpenter bee. I want to be a beekeeper. 2. I’m in a band, and we rule. I’m an avid ukulele player. 3. Bourbon and Red Bull is a superhero drink. It makes me feel invincible. What’s your favorite radio station, other than WUSC? Country Legends 94.3

If you were stuck on a deserted island, what musician or band would you want to have with you? Probably Stephin Merritt because he would take care of the hut while I scavenged for food. We’d play ukulele together into the night, and it would be beautiful. Also, I don’t think he would be too upset about being stranded on an island, so that would be easy to deal with. Set list sample: “Warrior In Woolworths” – X-Ray Spex “The Valleys” – Electrelane “Simeon’s Dilemma” – WHY? “Joe Tex, These Taming Blues” – Phosphorescent “For Today I Am a Boy” – Antony and the Johnsons


THANKSGIVING: MAXIMIZING THE EPIC HOLIDAY BY JULIA HIENZ With good ol’ Turkey Day around the corner and pumpkin pie at our fingertips, here is a list of crucial do’s and don’ts to milk Thanksgiving for all it’s worth.

DO: • Formulate an escape strategy in the event that you’re cornered by that Looney Tune of a relative. “So, have I told you what I did last...” We all have one. Don’t deny it. • Watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade to see a giant, helium-filled version of your favorite childhood character and laugh at the too obvious lip-syncing attempts by the performers. • Call dibs early on the comfiest living room seat. Prepare for the post-meal sloth effect/ food coma that will inevitably strike.

DON’T • Shop on Black Friday (unless it’s online.) Stampedes are no fun. Neither are sunrises, honestly. • Wear something constricting. Face it: you’re going to gorge yourself. Don’t wear clothes that will make this obvious. • Start celebrating Christmas on Thanksgiving. It’s bad enough that Target puts Christmas decorations out with the Halloween merchandise. Let’s not encourage them.

As exchange students from England, we often find ourselves discussing the differences between life at home and life in America—particularly in the South—and which place we like more. We sometimes differ in opinion so we summed up the best aspects of both, and you can decide for yourself.

5 REASONS WHY THE UK IS BETTER THAN THE US 1. The drinking age is 18. Nothing more needs to be said. 2. Tea. It’s hot and doesn’t have 2 lbs of sugar in it. And it’s acceptable to drink with a pinky. 3. No roaches! The bugs here are so big that they should carry bookbags and attend class. 4. Cheaper travel within Europe. The French are only a train ride away. Escargot, anyone? 5. Baked beans on toast is a standard student meal—economic and healthy!

5 REASONS WHY THE US IS BETTER THAN THE UK 1. Chick-fil-a has the best chicken in the world and reasonably priced. 2. Southern hospitality: It’s perfectly acceptable to high-five a stranger at breakfast. Who doesn’t like free high-fives? 3. Doughnuts & waffles for breakfast make getting out of bed worth it. 4. Solo cups. Nothing says “party!” better than a Solo cup. 5. Shake Weight: the most dignified method of working out.

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 55



As a pale, outspoken Yankee who looks awkward in cowboy boots, when I moved to the South, I immediately felt out of place. Southerners do crazy things that I’ve never seen before like dress up for football games and toss around phrases such as “bless your heart.” I’ve learned to (somewhat) fit in, and if you want my secrets on how to pass as a born’n’bred Southerner, read this article, and bless your heart indeed!

HOW TO BULLSH!T BEING FROM THE NORTH 1. Don’t be friendly, smile or make eye contact with anyone you don’t know. Model your life after Kanye’s.

3. In the North, if someone mentions a historically significant “Jackson,” we assume Michael, not Stonewall.

2. When utilizing public transportation never give up your seat, even if the woman standing looks so old that she might fall over at any moment.

4. For breakfast, Northerners eat scrapple. None of this grits business.

56 | GARNET & BLACK 2011

5. Northerners say “Happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Be PC, or be shunned.


Bring your uptightness down by about 20 notches. People in the South aren’t concerned with selling their first-borns to make millions. They would rather focus on more important things in life like religion, family and pigskins (see no. 8). Even their walking speeds are about half that of any Yank’s—not to mention their driving speeds.

2. 3. 4. 5.

Monogram everything that you, your mom, granny and dog own. In fact, just shave your dog’s initials into its fur. If you have a car on campus, make sure it has at least one decal representing the college you support or the island on which you vacation (e.g., HH, PI, IOP, FB etc.). “Y’all” is an endearing term that can refer to anywhere from two friends to 20,000 strangers. Use the word like it’s your job.

If one flake of snow is predicted to fall a month from now, stock canned foods like it’s New Year’s Eve 1999 because Southern towns are not equipped for extreme weather. Even if there are clear blue skies on the day depicted for such destruction, classes will be canceled based on the probability of disaster.

6. 7.

Pretend you’re in a military academy, and address anyone you perceive to be older than you as “sir” or “ma’am.” Once you know his or her first name, still refer to this person with the titles “Mr.” and “Ms.” for bonus points. Pronounce “Ms.” like Miz. Southern attire may not always agree with the weather, but it might be your only chance to blend in. Ladies, here are a few notes for you: Jack Rogers sandals and Lily Pulitzer dresses are your best friends. Gents, remember that its always T-shirt time. A polo shirt, Vineyard Vines khakis and Croakies will suffice. The more you look like it’s Easter Sunday, the better.


Pretend that football is your new boyfriend/girlfriend, and you’re in the most emotionally unstable relationship ever. You love football and would die for it, but sometimes it makes you angry. Tip: If the Gamecocks ever lose a game, blame Coach Spurrier, contemplate changing schools and proceed to voice your hatred over Facebook.


As important as family is, homecookin’ is what really makes home, home. Some choice foods: BBQ (the Philly cheesesteak of the South), grits (they feel like sand in your mouth, but suck ’em up) and tea (in the South, the tea is sweet but the people are even sweeter. Awwh.).


Be friendly. No, I mean be really friendly. Like, golden retriever, I-just-met-you-and-I-love-you friendly.

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 57

58 | GARNET & BLACK 2011


As the harsh winter cold approaches, those of you fortunate enough to grow facial must choose how to best warm your face. A myriad of options awaits your keen eye. I’ve graciously condensed your choices to 5 styles, based on a psychological evaluation and developed by the finest minds in my head. Please answer all questions as honestly as you can while others judge your responses.

WHERE DO YOU HIDE YOUR SPARE HOUSE KEY? HOW DO YOU START YOUR DAY? A Meditating under a waterfall. B With a few pints of dark lager beer or mead. C Next to a dime whose name I don’t know. D In my boxers with some toast. E With a Pop-Tart or a toaster strudel. Depends!

WHAT DO YOU EAT FOR LUNCH? A I catch trout with my bare hands and roast it over an open fire. B Elk. C Some hibachi with lots of sake! ‘Naw mean?! D Leftover toast. E Whatever Mom packed!

SOMEONE CUTS YOU OFF IN TRAFFIC. HOW DO YOU REACT? A I contemplate my place in the universe and hope he does too. B I follow them home and kill a tree to block their driveway. C I don’t know! I’m usually watching a Pixar movie in my steering wheel’s DVD player! D I lower my sunglasses and “mean mug.” E I don’t usually notice. I play a lot of GameBoy.

ADD ADD ‘EM ‘EM UP! UP! MOSTLY A You’re a fumanchu. You possess self control, discipline and an insightful mind. People look to you for aid in times of crises of the mind and heart. MOSTLY B You’re a handlebar mustache. People don’t use the word “masculine” to describe you because real men don’t use words; they speak with their actions. When you’re sad, you cry neighborhoods. When you’re happy, you plant mountains.

A Under a boulder that only I am strong enough to move. B In my treehouse. C There’s one in each of my kicks! (shoes) D In my blue heeler’s handkerchief. E In my trapper keeper.

WHAT’S ON YOUR WORKOUT PLAYLIST? A Tibetan monks and Jackie Chan’s album. B CCR, Avett Brothers and the Infamous Stringdusters. C Drake, Rick Ross and Nicki Minaj dubstep! D Jack Johnson, Bob Dylan and Ben Folds. E OMG! So much dubstep and Linkin Park!

DOGS OR CATS? A All living things. B Wolves… or a mountain lion. C Dawgs! D Dogs. I love dogs. E Cats are stupid!

HOW DO YOU HANDLE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM? A I appreciate the chance to learn and improve myself. B About as well as I handle a STIHL Magnum Chainsaw. C That implies that I need to improve! D Pretty well. My band is really open with each other. E Stop telling me what to do! JEEEEEZ!

MOSTLY C You’re a chinstrap, and you didn’t finish reading this quiz. Your obnoxious ringtone directed your attention to a picture message of your friend making a butt crack with his elbow. MOSTLY D You’re stubble. Life problems roll off you like water on a duck’s back. You’re chill, almost too chill. People are disconcerted by how relaxed you are all the time. You don’t worry about, though. MOSTLY E You’re upper lip hair. You have lots of potential. Really, you do! Right now, you may be small and awkward, but in time you may blossom into a shining beacon of excellence. For now, though… just shave that mess until it grows in all the way.

2011 GARNET & BLACK | 59

We here at G&B spend hours upon hours in a tiny office, which leads to hours upon hours of raving, bitching and bragging about the outside world. So, we’ve created this column to give you the opportunity to do the same. Think of it as a Rant & Rave meets Missed Connections meets Overheard at South Carolina. Anytime I see the cute guy with the light blue bike frame and white tires with the slight pink stripe, my day gets a little better. BY WISH I KNEW HIS NAME ART HIST If I get cancer because of the @$$HOLES who can’t wait two F***ING seconds to smoke until they’re not making everyone behind them suffer, I am going to hunt each and every one of them down. BY OHDISSOMEBULL FRESH/VISCOM Well, it was about time, Stephen. We fair thee well, maybe. BY M. BUSINESS

Dear gals who wear the same clothes everyday, Wear something else other than Nike sport shorts, a tee shirt and tennis shoes, and try to look like yourself than everyone else! Kthanks. GETS OLD. BY STAND OUT! Dear Stand out, I wear these Nike shorts and tee shirts every day because I have better things to do than spend an hour and a half every day looking good for a class I already want to just sleep through. Sorryimnotsorry, Nike Girl BY JANE DOE JUNIOR 2011

To the boy in the coliseum who carries the Gryffindor backpack and has a heavyweights shirt: You are seriously cool and your wear of pop culture references makes me happy whenever I see you. BY ALOVELYBETCH SENIOR/J-SCHOOL Dear Sexy Lab Instructor/Grad Student: I know you’re a flirt all-around, but thanks for spreading the daily love to even the fat/unattractive girls. Looking forward to the next lab. BY APPRECIATIVE JR/EDU


Launch Party


@ The Library

60 | GARNET & BLACK 2011




2011 GARNET & BLACK | 61

Garnet & Black Magazine- Winter 2011  

Garnet & Black Magazine- Winter 2011

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you