I’m certainly not a writer, but there’s something meaningful about the creative process of pulling together the stories and graphics for Senior Savvy each month. Since September of last year, I’ve felt God nudging me to share my mom’s story. I wasn’t sure how to put it into words, but I knew I needed to– if only to help one person.
When I realized that May is not only a time to honor mothers, but also National Stroke Awareness Month, it felt like the right time to tell it. In this issue, you’ll find an article with information on recognizing stroke symptoms. We didn’t know the signs at the time, but maybe this can help someone else.
What we first dismissed as signs of aging – forgetting recipes she’d made a hundred times, always feeling tired, or having constant pain in her legs – we later learned were actually signs of a stroke.
My mom, Mary Lee Ketchie, is well known in Rowan County for her heart to care for others. She spent years running a daycare in her home, and in her senior years, she sat with elderly friends who needed companionship. No matter what she was going through, she always had a smile and a kind word. And anyone who knows her knows how much she loves flowers. Her flower beds and rose bushes around her home are something to see. She always said she could never move because she couldn’t take her flowers with her.
On the evening of September 19th, Mary Lee was carefully packing her crafts for the Gold Hill festival that weekend. Her hands were steady as she tucked towels and bowl holders into bins – something she’d done countless times before. Even at 84, she took pride in every detail.
The next evening, as we were loading the bins into her car, something shifted. She leaned against the bumper, a strange heaviness settling
in her right arm. Her leg wobbled. Her gaze became unfocused, and the world tilted.
By then, her right side was limp. Her mouth struggled to form words. Somehow, I managed to guide her safely to the ground. By the grace of God, the ambulance was nearby. After speaking with the 911 dispatcher, they arrived in just five minutes and rushed her to Novant.
Continued on page 2
EBy Jan McCanless janmccanless@aol.com
very May, I sigh a sigh of relief, winter is finally over. I have kinfolk all over the country, even as far away as Oregon, and I know they are not enjoying the beautiful spring that we are. My nephew Paul sent me a photo on Facebook, showing some deer antlers and an ear sticking up out of the snow; the caption was that you can tell when spring is near, you can see the deer in the snow. My preacher son tells me that where he is in Ohio, they have been plagued with tornadoes. Poor schmucks, they don’t know what nice weather is. My friend
Helene, in England, lives close to the North Sea, and she says in the summer, they struggle to reach 70’. Hmm, I like it here, don’t you?
There is so much you can do in May, and as the trees and flora pop out and flourish, it’s a beautiful month, don’t you think? I graduated in May... May 25th, and, at a class reunion, all anybody was talking about was how sick our class was for the ceremony. We had attended a class luncheon at one of the country clubs in Atlanta, and collectively, we all got food poisoning . We struggled to walk upright down the center aisle of the civic auditorium in
Atlanta. We were dropping like flies, and the rest of us were so pale, we almost disappeared. Ah, fond memories!
May weddings are always pretty. My brother and one of my sons were married in May, the affairs were lovely. I just think it’s a good time to do whatever comes your way- -in May. I get “pot fever” then, can’t wait to get outside and do my plantings.
And then, there is Mother’s Day. My three always made it special for me, They’d wake me up at 5 to tell me they loved me, and what would I like for breakfast. When I told them, they got everything out for me
to fix for all of us. When it came to dinner that Sunday, I was told that because it was “MY” day, I could cook whatever I wanted for them. So kind and thoughtful! Now when they tell me something THEIR child has done to vex them, I think PAYBACK!! Well, I’m crazy about my offspring, and they have given me 9 spectacular grands, so, who could stay mad? However, I adore going out for Mother’s Day (that’s a hint, kids), but regardless, I cherish my time with them. So, here’s to lovely May, and all of it’s delights, and I hope you enjoy your Mother’s Day - - - Every Day!
With that said, here is Mom’s story...
From Our Readers
Great American Publishing Company
Publishers of Senior Savvy
Published monthly as an information service for those 55 and over
The publication of advertisements in Senior Savvy does not constitute endorsement by Great American Publishing Co. or contributing senior centers. Signed columns are the opinion of the writers and not necessarily the opinion of the publishers. If you need medical, financial, or other advice, seek this advice from a qualified professional in the appropriate field.
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The Bloom of Every New Day The Bloom of Every New Day
continued from front page
The ER doctor quickly assessed her and ordered a CT scan, which revealed she had 100% blockage in her left temporal lobe. They administered a clot-busting medication, then airlifted her to Presbyterian in Charlotte. A surgeon was already waiting to perform the emergency brain surgery that would save her life.
Those first days in the hospital were overwhelming. The words we heard were frightening – stroke, speech loss, paralysis. She couldn’t speak, and her right side was unresponsive. The strong, capable woman we knew seemed so far away.
The days that followed were filled with therapy – frustrating and exhausting. At first, the words wouldn’t come. When they did, they were slow and hesitant. Her emotions, once easily expressed, tangled inside her – sometimes rising in tears or frustration. Her right hand, the same hand that had sewn so many crafts and tended her garden for decades, now didn’t respond.
But if you know Mary Lee, you know she’s determined. She doesn’t give up easily.
After weeks of intense therapy at Carolinas Rehabilitation in Concord, she came home. Winter gave way to Spring, and one day, I wheeled her outside. The moment the fresh air touched her face, something inside her shifted. Then
she saw them – her flowers.
The beds she had spent years shaping and nurturing stretched before her in a riot of color. But this time, something felt different. She had seen these blooms a thousand times before, but now they felt... NEW. The way the light danced on the petals, the way the breeze carried their fragrance –it was as if she were seeing them for the first time.
She reached out with her left hand and touched a soft pink bloom. Her lips, still relearning how to form words, moved slowly.
“Beautiful,” she whispered.
In the days that followed, the garden became her place of healing. Her right hand was still slow to respond, but her left hand reached for the blooms. She touched their edges, admired the colors, and smiled. It wasn’t just about remembering – it was about rediscovering.
We’ve grieved what was lost. The ease of her speech, her independence, the way she once moved through the world. But we’ve also witnessed something powerful. In the quiet of her garden, she found something new.
Her flowers, planted with care through the years, now gave her something back. They gave her wonder. Joy. A reason to keep going. Each time she looks at
them, it’s not with sadness, but with gratitude – for what she still has, what she can still feel and love.
Because in the garden, every day was new.
Upate on MoM: Mary Lee was so happy to get to attend Easter Sunday service and fellowship with her PUMC church family again. Every day is a challenge, but we are seeing more of her personality shining through. Thank the Lord for each person God has placed in our lives, and all the prayers for healing. Too many to mention! God has an Angel on this earth that hides her wings well and many may know her... Jill earnhardt We Love You!
theresa parker pierce rowanhistorylady@gmail.com
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.
- Proverbs 31:8-9
When my brother and I were children, I watched more than my share of super hero, cowboy and cartoons meant for boys. While my brother had special needs, he was still six years older with control over the television knob. One of his favorite shows was The Incredible Hulk. Actor Bill Bixby starred as a doctor who transformed into the Incredible Hulk played by muscle man Lou Ferrigno. The mild-mannered doctor shed off his meek personality and morphed into a crazed scary
green monster super hero.
One day my best friend and I were playing with our dolls between our houses. Two neighbor boys rode by on their bikes and started making fun of us. They spit in our direction. That was the last straw. I ran to tattle to my big brother. He pretended to morph into the Incredible Hulk and started pounding his feet walking in their direction. The boys jumped off their bikes. Then my big brother picked up their bicycles and threw them in the ditch. The boys ran away and never bothered us again.
My brother was my hero. I was older before I realized there was something really different about him. I knew there was a lot of repeating of instructions. I knew that he went to what I called “special school” but in my innocence, I just saw him through eyes of love, admiration and sometimes frustration like a normal sibling.
When adults treated him like he did not understand simple directions, I was the one who defended him. I taught them how to treat him. Sometimes I was diplomatic. Sometimes I called them out.
They thought I was funny. There was nothing funny about standing up for my brother to me. Sometimes he would say, “Why am I not like you?” I would point out that he could play the music without a lesson. He could memorize song lyrics way better than me. He made me feel safe. When I was afraid, I slipped into his room and slept on the twin bed. I slept better to the sound of his snoring.
The scripture above says, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves.”
So, who was speaking up for whom? I think it was both. Yes, somewhere along the way, I changed from the defended to the defender but the love between siblings is strong no matter the disability. My brother defended me against the neighborhood bullies. I defended my brother against strangers who did not take time to understand him. He wanted what all people want. He wanted to be loved and respected. It was right for us to speak up for each other.
Maybe you are raising children, one with special needs. They will find common ground. We sure did.
The Incredible Hulk was reprinted with permission from Mt. Zion Press. Stephanie Pavlantos and Starr Ayers compiled stories of grace and acceptance that remind us there is Room at the Table (Encouraging Stories from Special Needs Families).
Things to Know for National Stroke Awareness Month
In the time it takes to read this article, at least one American will die of a stroke. A stroke occurs every 40 seconds in the United States. Every 3.5 minutes, someone in the country dies due to stroke. What’s even more disturbing is that this leading cause of death is often survivable, and even fully recoverable, if caught and treated early.
That’s why stroke awareness is so important – and why May is set aside as National Stroke Awareness Month. This annual health campaign seeks to reduce stroke risk and mortality by spreading awareness about the causes and signs of stroke. In this case, knowledge isn’t only power – it’s a matter of life and death.
What is a stroke?
The brain relies on blood vessels for the constant supply of oxygen-rich blood it needs to survive. A stroke occurs when there is a blockage or bleeding in these vessels that cuts off the brain’s blood supply. Impacted parts of the brain die very quickly without blood and oxygen, leading to permanent brain damage and,
if untreated, death.
Stroke symptoms
Stroke symptoms come on suddenly and include:
• Numbness or weakness in the face, arm, or leg (especially on one side of the body)
• Confusion, difficulty speaking or understanding speech
• Vision changes in one or both eyes
• Dizziness, trouble walking, loss of balance or coordination
•Severe headache
The American Stroke Association encourages anyone who spots these sudden and severe symptoms to call 911 immediately.
How to spot a stroke
When a stroke happens, every second counts. Recovery outcomes are directly connected to stroke treatment time – the faster a patient is treated, the better their chance of full recovery. Many of the best stroke treatment methods are only available in the first few hours after a stroke begins. If you aren’t sure whether you’re seeing or experiencing
a stroke, remember to act F.a.S.t:
F
– FACE: Is there numbness or drooping in the face? Ask them to smile. Is it uneven?
a – aRMS: Is one arm weak or numb? Ask them to raise both arms. Does one pull downward?
S
– SPEECH: Is speech slurred or strange? Ask them to repeat a simple phrase.
t – tIMe: If you see any of these signs, call 9-1-1 immediately
Source: americasbestcareplus.com
From Our Readers
The Carolina Thread Trail weaves a path through time and terrain. My friends and I discovered a natural surface trail segment in the Buffalo Creek Preserve. We often hike the path that meanders through restored oak-savanna and farmland along Adams Creek. Over time we have explored numerous other trails in the Carolina Piedmont.
On every walk we share stories about our past and consider dreams for the future. In late September 2016 we constructed a Little Free Library to house print versions of those stories; we called them Trail Tales. We make those stories available to readers of Senior Savvy on a monthly basis, no hiking gear required.
Vincent James Vezza is a contributor to and founding member of the Trail Tales column. His tale this month “Breadcrumbs 1908” delves into one of the characters in “The Hidden Treasure of Dutch Buffalo Creek.” If you’d like to share your story in this column, text or call 980-621-0398
Instruction on how to obtain a free electronic version of this story is posted on the blog hosted at www.hiddentreasurenovels.com.
“Breadcrumbs 1908”
Agreen canopy reflected in puddles formed by a recent spring shower. On my daily stroll I shuffled along what was once perhaps a path travelled by ancestors. Now the two-mile stretch of time weathered sidewalk led to the only traffic signal in the center of town. It beckoned like a sentinel at the intersection of Highway 73 and Main Street in
Mount Pleasant, North Carolina. Red, green, and yellow lights guided the flow of life in this quiet corner of the world.
One of my friends who walked with me just a few months ago was by my side again. Gary would share tales about paths he explored. Today he wanted to continue discussion about the book he had completed reading prior to that earlier walk. He thought he recognized another character in the work.
After preliminary conversation about the recent rain he said, “Vincent, I get it, your book “The Hidden Treasure of Dutch Buffalo Creek” is about family. If 1925 was about your
mom, what gives with 1908? Was your dad born seventeen years earlier? Are breadcrumbs a reference to a fairytale?
I replied, “Seems like every time you splash in a new puddle you come up with another question. This time you pop out a twofer. Yes, same concept, only these breadcrumbs are hardened by time. At the time of Dad’s birth in 1908, the world was lunging headlong into a new century. King Edward defined “the Empire” and Teddy Roosevelt led the country that would overshadow the motherland.
The twentieth century shift in power was made a bit easier because both nations shared a common language. A century earlier the western world at least seemed poised to adopt a French lingua franca. In this twenty-first century, who knows, maybe Chinese or Russian. Both of those powers have assumed vestiges of western culture. Who knows, maybe AI powered translation devices would surmount language barriers.”
Another splash. “Really, did you say devices? You know you just really dated yourself for any young reader who might stumble upon this story.”
“Well Gary.” said I, “In any event, during Dad’s eighty-threeyear journey, the U.S. would add four stars. Dirt roads would be paved. Civil War veterans marched in the parades of his youth. Survivors of the Indian Wars toured in the Wild West Show, and American English became the Latin
language of our times.”
Splash. “I noticed those references on page 157. They told me about the times, but it was your recall of Jimmy’s rings of smoke drifting from his King Edward cigar that jarred my memories of your dad. His stories were measured by the number of smoke rings.”
“Indeed Gary. His generation had so many stories to tell, and no internet or smartphones. Now it’s our turn to tell, at almost the same stage of life as when Dad began to entertain us with his wisdom.”
The conversation continued. By the time we got to the traffic light, the puddles evaporated. I promised to share insights about some of the other characters in the book on our next walk. I’d start with the generation that had passed, catalogued by their birth year. It’s a privilege to write in my late seventies. It also imposes responsibility to capture the wisdom of those who have passed. As we enter the second quarter of the twenty-first century, I hope you’ll consider sharing your story. Happy New Year.
About Vincent James Vezza: Vincent is a regional representative for the North Carolina Writers’ Network Metro North Region which encompasses Cabarrus and Rowan counties. You can learn more about Vincent by visiting his website, www. vincentjamesvezza.com or mailing a note addressed to P.O. Box 1857, Concord, NC 28026.
Itry and call people that are in my world on a fairly regular basis. In my insurance business, it behooves me to keep my voice and face in front of those who have purchased from me, so they remember me. It has served me well, as I continue to get referrals from people who have been my clients for ten or more years.
Today, I was driving down the road and a particular client came to mind... she had not purchased anything from me, but her husband was in my book of business. He purchased life insurance many years ago, and I met his wife for the first time when she called and tearfully
explained she needed help with a death claim. The familiar sting of loss was felt in my being as I helped her through the arduous task of collecting such a small token of her husband’s life...a life insurance check. It would help her through life as he intended, but she would willingly give it back to have her husband here again. I was honored to help her with the paperwork, and we cried together when I delivered the check to her the following week.
Since she came to mind today, I picked up the phone and dialed her. She seemed a little distant, and I inquired if everything was okay.
“It’s been a year today.” She flatly said. My heart broke for her all over again. I distinctly remember the first anniversary of my first husband’s death. Each time I glanced at the clock, I said, “One year ago, he was still here...” Until that glance, I realized I had survived a complete year without the love of my life on
“The Grandparent Gaze”
I held your parent once like this, Tiny fingers, newborn kiss –Now here I sit, with silver strands, Cradling you in wrinkled hands.
A circle drawn in love and time, Your little laugh, a nursery rhyme. The years, they fly – so swift, so bold, Yet here you are, and I feel old…
But not in weariness or pain, More like a soft, refreshing rain. A reverence I never knew, Until I looked and saw you.
Surreal, this second tender chance, To watch another soul’s first dance. To guide, not lead; to love, not mold –To hold your joy, and not control. I watch your wonder meet the sky, And blink back tears I can’t deny. For in your smile, I see the grace Of every storm I had to face.
And now I stand on sacred ground, With quiet awe that knows no bound –So humbled by this grand design, That you’re a part of me, yet fully divine.
A gift I never dared expect, A love so deep, so pure, direct. You made me new, though I am gray… In you, I’ve found my yesterday.
this earth. And the tears started again. She and I discussed this phenomenon, as well as the other firsts that come with the territory of the first year. After a few more minutes of the past, we moved to the future. We discussed her daughter’s upcoming wedding plans; we talked about her dogs and our common love for them. Dogs are awesome for sadness, by the way...they allow you to pet them and love them, so your sadness lessens.
We chatted for a few more minutes about life and what she had coming up. I shared with her my desire to get my nonprofit going and the dreams I have for helping
people through grief in a practical way by having an action plan and activities together instead of sitting in a circle being sad together. She offered to help when I got it going. The conversation ended on the note that God had led me to call her at just the right time...And I believe that. Just when I think life is about calling policyholders and building those relationships to build my business, I am reminded that these policyholders are my people, who have been entrusted to me to help through the tough times in life...
Our Faith
HOW TO HAVE A GREAT HARVEST
Shane H. tolliver stolifer5@hotmail.com
Many people plant gardens in the Spring. Many have crop failure too. When my wife and I were married 44 years ago, I decided to plant a garden where we lived in the Sandhills. Our sandy soil produced nothing but tomatoes, and I can’t take any credit for them. My neighbor had improved his soil for years and had a luscious garden. Fortunately for me, his soil overflowed next to the short rail fence that bordered our property. I planted my tomatoes there and had an abundant crop!
The message of Easter is pictured in the arrival of Spring. I am always mystified and thrilled by the attractive flowers emerging out of the “dead” dirt. Jesus died and rose from the dead and now acts like a scout showing us the way to heaven. The first among many also empowers us to follow Him. But only those who
realize they cannot find the way through their own efforts can join his train. Some believe they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps into heaven. They trust that their good works will outweigh their bad.
That is why Jesus explained we must come to Him with the faith of a little child. Sometimes a child says, “I do it myself! I know how.” It doesn’t take long before they reach for your hand, “Help me.” We all need help. And let us remember one of the biggest reasons we exist today is to help each other. Spring is a time of wonder, discovery, sharing with neighbors, and rejoicing that winter is over.
Spring doesn’t end with the arrival of flowers. It marks the beginning of crop planting and cultivation that extends into summer and harvest time. We rejoice when the frigid days of winter are past, the first brilliance of colorful irises and daffodils dot our lawns, and shorts and t-shirt weather appear again. Unfortunately, most of our food crops are perennials. They must be replanted, watered, and fertilized. Then they must be defended against pesky bugs, weeds, birds, moles, voles, raccoons, skunks, and other critters. I allowed Japanese beetles to eat the silk on my
corn because they stayed on the surface. When the ears were only partially filled, I consulted my guide, “Google,” and discovered that without the silk, the individual kernels of corn could not be fertilized. The next year I kept the bugs away, but winds and raccoons cleaned me out. The good news is that I only had a small garden and raised plenty of tomatoes and cantaloupes.
The same is true of believers. Paul commented to the Corinthian Church that he planted, and Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. Spring is a time of rapid growth and also great danger. Smart farmers and teachers must be engaged in planting seeds, watering them, and protecting them from pests that desire to devour them. Though Christians do not need to be replanted every year, we recognize that growth is not entirely uniform. Seasons of growth and harvest are often followed by times of testing and drought. In John 12:24 Jesus taught, “Unless a seed falls into the ground and dies, it abides alone. But if it dies, it will produce many seeds.” Most people are not fond of the idea of death. The very thought of it brings suffering, grief, and loss. But Jesus says death to self is necessary to multiply life. If
the seed stayed in a dry jar away from the sun and water, it would never grow. It would never develop more seed for future crops.
The Christian who hides his light under a basket may never be persecuted by the enemy, but he is an anomaly. He is not very Christlike. The light of Christ will never shine out of his heart for others to see. His life will be empty and fruitless. Dying to ourselves may involve being sorely tried, but Paul assures us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that even though all are tempted, it is not beyond our power to endure if we follow his way of escape. Too many disciples have overlooked verse 12 warning about forgetting how we arrived at our present position, power, or success.
Have you ever considered how often we try to help God out. God made a covenant with Abraham, promising to make him a father of many nations. Over a decade later, he and his wife are too old to think about raising a family. They decide that God helps those who help themselves. Abraham sires a child through Sarah’s handmaid, Hagar. God promised again that Sarah would have a child. The great patriarch trusted God earlier,
Continued on page 11
Champagne Honey Carrots
Ingredients:
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 tablespoons butter
1 shallot, minced
2 pounds baby carrots
1 cup dry Champagne
2 tablespoons honey
1 sprig fresh thyme
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon white pepper
Directions:
1. Heat the oil and the butter in a skillet over medium-high heat. Add the shallots and the carrots. Cook, stirring occasionally until the carrots are just tender, about 15-20 minutes.
2. Add the Champagne, the honey, and the thyme sprig. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the liquid reduces to 1/4, about 3-5 minutes.
3. Remove the skillet from the heat and discard the thyme sprig. Stir in the salt and the pepper.
4. Transfer to a serving bowl and serve warm.
Pecan Pie Dip
Ingredients:
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup chopped pecans add caramel and pecans on top and bottom Graham crackers or apple slices for dipping
Directions:
1. Mix Cream Cheese and Butter: In a mixing bowl, beat together the softened cream cheese and unsalted butter until smooth and creamy.
2. Add Sugars and Vanilla: Add the powdered sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla extract to the cream cheese mixture. Beat until well combined.
3. Stir in Pecans: Gently fold in the chopped pecans until evenly distributed.
4. Serve: Transfer the dip to a serving bowl and serve with graham crackers or apple slices for dipping
Directions:
Mother’s Day Casserole
Ingredients:
1 onion, diced
1 green bell pepper, diced
3 cups chicken, cooked, shredded
1 (10.5oz) can condensed cream of chicken soup
1 (10.5oz) can condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 (10oz) can diced tomatoes with green chilies
14 (5-6-inch) corn tortillas
1 (8oz) package cheddar cheese, shredded fresh cilantro leaves, optional, to taste, for garnish
Directions:
1.Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Coat a 13x9-inch baking dish with cooking spray.
2. In a large skillet over medium-high heat, sauté the onions and the bell peppers until tender, about 5 minutes.
3. In a large bowl, stir the chicken, the cream of chicken soup, the cream of mushroom soup, the tomatoes with green chilies and their juices, and the onion mixture together.
4. Arrange 1/2 of the tortillas in an even layer at the bottom of the prepared baking dish. Spread 1/2 of the chicken mixture over the tortillas.Sprinkle the chicken mixture with 1/2 of the cheese. Repeat the layers once starting with the tortillas and ending with the cheese.
5. Bake the casserole, uncovered, until it is heated through and bubbly, about 25-30 minutes.
6. Garnish with the cilantro and serve.
Sweet Potato Brownies
Ingredients:
3 medium sweet potatoes around (2 cups mashed sweet potato)
1 cup Creamy peanut butter or crunchy peanut butter
2 large eggs beaten
2/3 cup honey
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 cup vanilla protein powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon fine Kosher salt
1 cup dark chocolate chips
Directions:
1. Cook sweet potatoes, peel, and mash them.
2. Combine other incredients into bowl with mashed potatoes.
3. Spread into a lined 8”x8” baking dish. Sprinkle chocolate chips on top.
4. Bake at 350F for around 25 minutes, or until a bit soft in the center. Allow the brownies to cool before slicing.
1. Combine the juice, champagne, soda and vodka in a large pitcher with a bit of ice, the orange slices and the strawberries, leaving just a few out for garnishes in the drink. Stir in the fresh mint leaves. This tastes amazing once it sits for about 30 minutes in the fridge, but you can serve it right away too.
2. Pour over crushed ice and garnish with extra orange slices or strawberries!
FINANCIAL FOCUS
Be alert for caregiver financial abuse
Do you have a parent or other elderly relative who may soon need a caregiver? If so, be diligent when selecting the right person for the job –because choosing the wrong one could lead to big financial problems.
You might find a close family member or friend to serve as caregiver – someone who is honest and trustworthy, with good judgment and strong money management skills. However, in many cases, people hiring caregivers just don’t know how they’ll perform until the caregivers have begun work. A dishonest caregiver could steal valuables or cash from the person they have been paid to assist or incept their mail to obtain credit card numbers and other sensitive information to commit identity theft.
So, if you enlist a caregiver and begin having doubts about them, you’ll need to watch out for these warning signs of possible financial abuse:
• Efforts to prevent the individual receiving care from
Our Finances May Word Search
speaking to family members
• Inquiries into the location of estate-planning documents, such as a will
• Interest in brokerage and retirement accounts, possibly with the intent to change transfer-on-death designations
• Withholding financial or medical information from the family
• Missing jewelry or property
• Requests to be a joint holder on bank or brokerage accounts, sometimes followed by large cash withdrawals paid to the caregiver
• Request for legal authority, such as a financial power of attorney naming only the caregiver
This last item – the request for financial power of attorney, or POA – is particularly concerning because of the scope of duties covered by this type of authority. That’s why it’s so important that all family members understand what a financial POA can and cannot do.
A general financial POA provides the agent with the authority to act on behalf of an individual’s finances, while a limited financial POA gives the agent the authority only for certain actions, such as paying bills, making withdrawals and opening or closing bank accounts.
A general financial POA and a limited financial POA both can be durable, which
means they take effect once executed, or springing, which is contingent on a specific event, such as a physical illness, mental incapacity or even a hospitalization.
Unfortunately, some POA agents have abused their responsibility by stealing money, making unauthorized transactions and even attempting to change the beneficiary designations on retirement accounts or insurance policies owned by the people for whom they provide care. These beneficiary designations can even supersede the instructions left in a will or living trust – and they can’t be changed by a financial POA.
If you suspect financial abuse by a caregiver, you can consider contacting your loved one’s financial advisor
or attorney, if you know who it is. While they can’t share information with you, they can check for red flags and contact your loved one directly. You also can get help from your state government. The National Adult Protective Services Association (NAPSA) provides a listing of offices in each state at napsa-now.org/help-in-yourarea.
Finding a caregiver for a parent or other elderly relative can be emotionally difficult – but it doesn’t have to be financially draining. Get to know the caregiver if you can and watch for any red flags, so you can take comfort in knowing that your loved one’s finances are in good hands. For a comprehensive and confidential consultation about these masters call me, John P. McGrail, at 704-603-4354.
John p. McGrail
Edward Jones Financial Advisor
A Little Dose of Humor
Funny Mom Stories...
Fall riSk
My mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk. Unimpressed, Mom said to me, “I’ll have them know I’m a winter, spring, and summer risk too.”
Wake-uP Call
I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake. “Hi!” It was my peppy mother-in-law. She proceeded to rattle on about the busy day she had ahead and all the things that awaited her the rest of the week. “Mom,” I interrupted. “It’s five in the morning.” “Really? What are you doing up so early?”
a SMOkiNG GuN
While rummaging through her attic, my friend Kathryn found an old shotgun. Unsure about how to dispose of it, she called her parents. “Take it to the police station,” her mother suggested. My friend agreed and was about to hang up when her mother added, “Oh, and Kathryn? Call first.”
WhaT’S
YOur real aGe?
My friend Emily and her mother bumped into an old family acquaintance on the street. “Is this your daughter?” the woman asked. “I remember her when she was this high! How old is she now?” Without pausing, Emily’s mom said, “24.” Emily, 35, nearly fainted on the spot. When the woman left, Emily asked her mom why she told such a whopper. “Emily,” her mother replied, “I’ve been lying about my age for so long, it suddenly dawned on me that I’d have to start lying about yours too.”
The eSCOrT SerViCe
My mother began getting calls from men who misdialed the similar number of an escort service. Mom, who had had her number for years, asked the telephone company to change the organization’s number. They refused. The calls kept coming day and night. Finally, Mom began telling the gentlemen who called that the company had gone out of business. Within a week, the escort service voluntarily changed its number.
MeeTiNG The dauGhTer-iN-laW
My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his hypercritical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn’t tell his mom which one he intended to marry. After the four women left, he asked his mother, “Can you guess which one I want to marry?”
“The one with short hair.”
“Yes! How’d you know?”
“Because that’s the one I didn’t like.”
leaVe a MeSSaGe aFTer The BeeP
My mother, a master of guilt trips, showed me a photo of herself waiting by a phone that never rings. “Mom, I call all the time,” I said. “If you had an answering machine, you’d know.” Soon after, my brother installed one for her. When I called the next time, I got her machine: “If you are a salesperson, press one. If you’re a friend, press two. If you’re my daughter who never calls, press 911 because the shock will probably give me a heart attack.”
aN aNTi-SMOkiNG PSa
A couple of hours into a visit with my mother she noticed I hadn’t lit up a cigarette once. “Are you trying to kick the habit?”
“No,” I replied, “I’ve got a cold and I can’t smoke when I’m not feeling well.”
“You know,” she observed, “you’d probably live l onger if you were sick more often.”
MOM ON GardeNiNG
I can’t tell the difference between a rose and a dandelion. So when it came time to fix up my garden, I had no clue which plants to keep and which ones to remove. Until, that is, my mother gave me this handy tip: “Pull them all up. If it comes back, it’s a weed.”
TaNTruMS 101
Even though the toddler was having a furious tantrum, his mom was unfazed. “You may as well give up on the crying,” I heard her say as she led him to the store exit. “You’re stuck with me for 18 years.”
MAY Crossword
–Theodore Roosevelt Thought For The Day...
“We must dare to be great; and we must realize that greatness is the fruit of toil and sacrifice and high courage.”
From Our Readers
The Moment Jesus Took The Wheel
By Jerry Genovese Joanandjerry@outlook.com
Iknow, I know, it sounds like a corny title, and I also know that Carrie Underwood made a record called, “ Jesus Take The Wheel “, but all I can tell you, is I lived that moment.
The First writing I sent in to this paper about seven years ago was a Christmas poem I wrote called, ‘” ‘Twas The Night After Christmas “, I was so happy to see that they printed it. Each month I would send in another poem, and it got printed too. Up until about six years ago, all I wrote was poetry, and then one month I sent in a short story about one of my life experiences, and it got published too. That was the start of me writing more short stories than poems, each one about a different life experience. I really enjoyed the change from poetry, and over the last six years, have written about so many of these experiences. There has to be about a dozen of those stories where I told of various experiences I had with Jesus, and I swear, everything I write is the truth.
The other night, I was looking through some of the stories, and all of a sudden I remembered one I don’t think I
told. The reason I forgot about it is because it was so long ago, before I was married, and that’s 60 years ago. I think I was about 19 or 20 years old. Those were my good old “ Hot Rod “ days, the happy days. I had a very special car back then, that was extremely fast for its day. It had an engine in it that you didn’t see in a regular car, that engine only came in Corvettes. It was a Corvette 327 engine with Fuel Injection. In those days most hot cars either had a four barrel carburetor, or two four barrel carburetors, but nobody had fuel injection. Well, it didn’t take long for the word to get around about my car, and everybody wanted to race me. But I was not that way, that was my baby, and I just wanted to enjoy it, not beat the heck out of it.
But one day…yeah here it comes, I get this guy that just wouldn’t let up, and so we decided to have a race. The road we were going to race on was alongside a park that had a big lake in it. It was two lanes of blacktop, but there was up ahead, a long sweeping curve to the right. At the point where the curve began, the blacktop pavement changed into a mild cobblestone. Not a real big bumpy cobblestone, but non the less, “cobblestone”.
We lined up back at the starting point, and when the light changed, we took off. I had the inside lane closest to the park, and he had the outside lane. A drag race is over within a relatively short
time, but the speeds can be quite high. As we were in the beginning part of the race, I looked up ahead, and there right as the road began the curve, was a car parked right on the curve in my lane that wasn’t there before. By that time I was probably doing about 100 mph, only to see another big problem. Another car, which wasn’t there before, had just made a turn onto the road we were racing on up ahead of us. Now there were TWO cars on the racetrack that weren’t there when we started. That second car was now also heading for the curve in the road, and he was quickly closing the opening between him and the parked car. I had to make a quick decision, hit the brakes, and lose total control once I hit the cobblestone, or try to make it through the ever closing gap between the moving car and the parked car at 100 mph. There was no time to think, and it was at that very instant, that very moment, Jesus knew, if I hesitated one more second, I was either going to lose control on the cobblestone if I hit the brakes and roll over who knows how many times after hitting the parked car, or I would be crushed in between the moving car and the parked car right in my door. It was that very moment, I feel, that Jesus took control, and made me stomp on the gas pedal, then took my hands and guided me through that ever closing gap and went through between the
moving car and the parked car at 100mph. I swear, if I had one foot of space on each side of me when I went through the gap, it was a lot. I never thought I was going to make it. All I heard was the blaring horn of the moving car which must have scared the hell out of him, and I don’t blame him. It was the closest call I had ever experienced in a car in my life. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that in that split second, Jesus hit the gas, and took over the steering through my hands, and got me through that situation unharmed, not a doubt in my mind. I pulled over to the side, shaking like a leaf, and just thanked Jesus over and over. It was a stupid move, yet a smart move, not to hit those brakes on the cobblestone, it would have been a horrific accident.
Over the years, especially during the fifteen years my wife and I spent on the road in the RV touring the country working motorcycle rallies, Jesus has kept us out of some really serious accidents. A few of them without exaggeration, would have been horrendous and probably would have killed us. We have been so blessed to have Jesus as my co-pilot for my entire lifetime, I could tell you stories that would fill this paper, in fact, there are a number of them that have already been told in this paper. I don’t know why I have been so blessed to have Him with me so many times, but I am so grateful. Maybe it’s because I preach His word so much, I don’t know. But I pray to Him, and thank Him every night.
HAVE YOU HEARD?
Lorin S. Oden Au.D., FAAA Doctor of Audiology
We have been spending the last several months talking about various chronic health issues that influence hearing ability. We talked about diabetes, hypertension and thyroid disease. I decided this month, based on a very recent situation, to review how cigarette smoking effects the auditory system.
Several weeks ago, my husband and I went to Denton Farm Park to support the Carolina Relief Fund. They were raising additional funds for the people in western Carolina. We were sitting in the last row of the amphitheater (it was too loud to sit up front) to watch the band that was performing. Posted everywhere were “No Smoking” signs. The number of folks who lit up a cigarette while sitting at the parameter of the seating area was amazing. I wondered if they felt the rules did not apply to them. I can still smell you smoking and
prefer not to be exposed to your second-hand smoke.
Did you know Dr. Mark Emery? He was the ENT physician that worked at Pinnacle Ear Nose Throat & Allergy in the Salisbury and Thomasville locations before he moved. I had the pleasure of working with him. Dr. Emery would not perform ear surgery on a patient that smoked because the odds of the ear healing properly were greatly reduced. The poor outcome was not a result of his surgical ability but the results of one’s smoking. Makes you think, doesn’t it?
Cigarette smoking has become a common tendency worldwide. I am thankful for No Smoking sections at restaurants and airplanes but in general, tobacco is consumed by approximately 1.3 billion of the world’s population.
While tobacco use is rising globally, the epidemic of tobacco related diseases has just begun. Most damage to human health does not become evident until years or even decades after the onset of its use. Tobacco use is the leading cause of preventable death in the world. My mom passed away almost two years ago from lung cancer as a direct result of years of smoking.
Many of the health effects of smoking depend on the
HOW TO HAVE A GREAT HARVEST
continued from page 6
but years of waiting dimmed his faith. He needed to refocus on God’s commitment to him. God waited 25 years after his first promise until both Abraham and Sarah recognized they were dead to having children. He wanted them to realize that the birth of the nation was due to the power of God. He does not need our help and refuses it.
The soil in my yard was dead. Before it could produce fruit, it must be dramatically transformed into fertile soil, like my neighbors. Without the proper nutrients, I would never grow beans, potatoes, or watermelons. Abraham believed
God’s promise, and that seed of faith was rewarded with a child in his one-hundredth year. It was God’s doing, not his. My tomatoes were due to the work of my neighbor. I just knew where to plant them. I had faith in his soil. And when the plants grew, I watered, took care of them, and we ate them. When you enjoy a luscious tomato sandwich in a few months, remember that you and I may plant and water the seed, but God brings the harvest. When we trust and follow His Word, we will not have crop failure in our lives either.
exposure history, which includes the age at which smoking began, the number of cigarettes smoked per day, the degree of inhalation and the cigarette characteristics such as tar and nicotine content.
Smoking was found to be statistically associated with hearing impairments, with 65.7% of smokers and 15% of non-smokers having hearing impairment. As age increased, the percentage of the affected individual also increased, with greater percentages of smokers being affected in comparison to non-smokers. The severity of hearing loss in smokers increased with an increase in the numbers of cigarettes smoked and the duration of smoking.
Cigarette smoking may affect the hearing organ through the direct ototoxic effect of nicotine on the cochlea (inner ear). Smokers are constantly exposed to levels of carbon monoxide in the range of 500 to 1500 parts per million. It has been suggested the carbon monoxide in tobacco smoke causes a rise in the carboxyhemoglobin levels in smokers, which may in turn reduce the oxygen which is available for the sensitive tiny structures in the inner ear (organ of corti), resulting in damage to the hair cells which are sensitive to oxygen.
According to the CDC, the benefits of quitting include:
1. Lowered risk of lung cancer and other types of cancer. 2. Reduced risk of coronary heart disease (which can also affect hearing), stroke, and peripheral vascular disease.
3. Reduce respiratory symptoms, such as coughing, wheezing, and shortness of breath.
4. Reduce risk of developing chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD).
5. Reduce risk for infertility for women of reproductive age. While you can’t reverse any hearing loss you’ve developed during your smoking years, you can prevent any future nicotinerelated damage to your hearing once you quit. I always feel a little funny bringing up the message to quit smoking but know we want you to be your very best.
If you would like more information about health issues and hearing loss, would like to have a baseline evaluation or discuss establishing hearing treatment, give Taylor, Jamie or Diane a call at 704-633-0023 or visit our website: www. hearingsolutionsofnc.com. Dr. Mussler, Jane, Cheryl and I look forward to seeing you soon. For more information or to schedule a hearing evaluation, contact: dr. lorin S. Oden at hearing Solutions of North Carolina, 464 Jake alexander Blvd. W., Salisbury, NC 28147 704-633-0023
www.hearingsolutionsofnc.com
Puzzle Answers
Our Faith
I Fired a Single Mom for Being Late...
Then Found Out Why and Begged for Forgiveness
By Unknown
For nearly six years, I’ve been a manager, always convinced that I was fair – strict, yes, but fair. Rules are there for a reason, and if I start making exceptions, where would it end? That’s the reasoning I used when I let Celia go last week.
She was late again – her third time this month. Our policy was clear: three strikes, and you’re out. When I called her into my office, she didn’t argue. She just nodded quietly, grabbed her bag, and left without a word.
Later that day, I overheard two coworkers talking. “Did you hear about Celia’s son?” one of them asked. “Yeah,” the other responded. “She’s been sleeping in her car with him.”
That’s when I learned the truth. Celia had been evicted weeks ago. Her ex-husband was long gone – no child support, no family to turn to. She and her six-year-old son had been living in their car. The reason she’d been late? Every morning, she had to drive across town to a church where they could shower before taking him to school.
I was overwhelmed by guilt. I hadn’t just fired someone for being irresponsible – I had punished someone who was struggling to survive.
The next day, I tried calling her. No answer. I texted her. Nothing. Determined to make things right, I began searching – calling shelters, food banks, any place that might have helped her. Most places couldn’t
share information, but one woman at a downtown church hesitated when I mentioned Celia’s name.
“She was here two nights ago,” she said. “Picked up some food and blankets.”
Just when I was about to give up, I spotted an old sedan in a grocery store parking lot. The windows were fogged, and from beneath a blanket in the back seat, a small face peeked out.
I knocked softly on the window. A moment later, Celia sat up in the driver’s seat, her expression guarded. When she recognized me, her face went blank.
“I’m so sorry,” I said quickly. “Please, let me help.”
I offered her the job back, no conditions attached. More than that, I wanted to help her rebuild. My cousin managed an apartment complex, and there was a vacant unit. No deposit was needed, and I knew of programs that could help with food and childcare.
She glanced at her son, then back at me. Her shoulders trembled.
“Okay,” she whispered.
The weeks that followed were a blur. My cousin got her into the apartment. The company approved a small pay increase for her, and I did everything I could to connect her with assistance programs. It wasn’t a perfect fix, but it was a start.
One afternoon, she walked into my office. “I just wanted to say thank you,” she said. “Not just for the job – for seeing me.”
She smiled, and for the first time, it truly reached her eyes.
That night, I sat in my car, reflecting on how close I had come to making an unforgivable mistake. It’s easy to get caught up in rules and forget that people aren’t just names on a spreadsheet. Everyone has a story, and sometimes all they need is someone to listen.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that kindness shouldn’t come with conditions. And sometimes, the right thing to do means breaking the rules.
Tell Me Tomorrow
By Becky hemsley
don’t wait til i’m gone and then stand up to speak about all the things
That you loved about me don’t sing all my praises Through all of your tears When i am no longer Beside you to hear don’t leave all that love like a secret unsaid
But tell me tomorrow Or right now instead and i’ll tell you too
Of the things i admire about who you are and how much you inspire i’ll speak from my heart
Whilst you’re still here to know “You are” not “you were” Or “it used to be so”
i’ll speak of your light
Whilst you’ll still hear the words and not leave that love in the darkness, unheard
So tell me tomorrow Or right now - don’t wait Because we don’t know When it might be too late
Because we don’t know When our time might be up and we need to hearwhile we are herehow we’re loved.
