Leading the life you want book club

GALLUS BOOK CLUB - LEADING THE LIFE YOU WANT

OUR TAKE ON LEADING THE LIFE YOU WANT

BY STEWART D FRIEDMAN

EVERY MONTH THE GALLUS BOOK CLUB EXPLORES A TOPICAL, RELEVANT BOOK THAT, ON FACE VALUE, COULD INFORM THINKING, SPARK SOME DEBATE AND GENERATE IDEAS AMONGST OUR MEMBERS. Our April read was LEADING THE LIFE YOU WANT by Stewart D Friedman. In a complex and changing world it can sometimes feel challenging to actually create a balanced life that incorporates enough of the elements that motivate and nurture us and those who are important to us. Many of our GALLUS BOOK CLUB members work in demanding roles and yet still want to make a broader contribution to industry and society whilst building meaningful, lasting relationships with family and friends. Some people seem to be able to do this almost without effort whilst others struggle to achieve a balance. Many authors have explored the subject and have provided sage advice on how to compartmentalise life effectively. Friedman views the issue from another perspective and suggests an altogether different approach – merging important elements of life in line with your values to drive a coherent and integrated flow of activity.

Here we take a look at THE BEST BITS from our perspective.

FOUR WAY WINS Friedman outlines four life areas where it is important to feel satisfied and valued: .

WORK OR SCHOOL

COMMUNITY OR SOCIETY

HOME OR FAMILY

PRIVATE REALM OF MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

“WHAT MATTERS MOST TO ME IN MY LIFE?”

Stewart D Friedman

“WHO MATTERS MOST TO YOU AT WORK, HOME AND IN THE COMMUNITY?” Stewart D Friedman

LEARNING FROM OTHERS: The book explores the lives of six well known people and highlights how they have focused on meaningful activities for them that align with their values, and impact every sphere of their life. Whilst it’s perhaps easy to question whether some of the individuals would have been able to achieve the same outcomes if they had been born into different circumstances, themes emerge that suggest they may have achieved similar whatever was thrown at them.

From these vignettes, three principles emerge with a range of supporting skills.

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GALLUS CONSULTING 3 PRINCIPLES TO LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT BE REAL ACT WITH AUTHENTICITY by clarifying what’s important to you

BE WHOLE ACT WITH INTEGRITY by recognising how the different parts of your life affect each other, understanding what you need from each other and how these mesh or don’t mesh

BE INNOVATIVE ACT WITH CREATIVITY and experiment with how to get things done in ways that are good for you and those around you

SKILLS FOR BEING INNOVATIVE

SKILLS FOR BEING WHOLE

SKILLS FOR BEING REAL

SKILLS TO SUPPORT THE 3 PRINCIPLES:

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Know what matters

You know how important each of the different aspects of your life is to you

Embody values consistently

You are able to be yourself wherever you are, wherever you go.

You act in ways that are consistent with your core values

Align actions with values

You make choices about how to spend your time and energy in ways that match what you really care about

Convey values with stories

You tell stories about key people and events that have shaped your values in a way that binds you to others. You show confidence and vulnerability where appropriate

Envision your legacy

You have a vision for where you are headed and the legacy you want to leave

Hold yourself accountable

You take responsibility for doing what is more important to you in your life

Clarify expectations

You communicate with people important to you about expectations you have of each other, and you make sure these expectations are clear

Help others

You look for opportunities to help many different people

Build supportive networks

You are able to convince people to support you in your goals

Apply all your resources

You use skills and contacts from different parts of your life to help meet any need or goal

Manage boundaries intelligently

You are able to delineate and maintain boundaries between the different parts of your life

Weave disparate strands

You are able to weave together the pieces of your life so that it has coherence

Focus on results

You focus on the results of your efforts to accomplish goals and are flexible about the means of achieving them

Resolve conflicts

You seek creative solutions to conflicts rather than sacrifice one part of life for another

Challenge the status quo

You challenge traditional assumptions about how things are done, experimenting to make things better whenever possible

See new ways of doing things

You are willing to question old habits and innovate in managing life’s demands

Embrace change courageously

You look forward to change; seeing it as an opportunity rather than fearing it

Create cultures of innovation

You look for opportunities to encourage others to learn new ways of doing things

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GALLUS BOOK CLUB - LEADING THE LIFE YOU WANT

COMPOSE YOUR OWN STORY...

Friedman invites you to COMPOSE YOUR OWN STORY by adopting the 3 PRINCIPLES and developing the 18 SUPPORTING SKILLS. The six well known people he highlights each have compelling stories that demonstrate how they have developed the skills and generated approaches that work for them. You may not agree with their approach; indeed, you may not share their values, but their stories demonstrate an integrated flow of activity and decision making that aligns to what is important to them.

“TO LEAD THE LIFE YOU WANT, YOU’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. EACH OF THE PEOPLE PROFILED IN THIS BOOK ILLUSTRATES TOTAL LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLES AND THE SKILLS THAT ANIMATE THEM. THEY FIND WAYS TO PERSIST, DESPITE WHATEVER OBSTACLES ARE BEFORE THEM, IN MOVING EVER CLOSER TO BECOMING THE PEOPLE THEY WANT TO BECOME. THEY MAKE MISTAKES. THEY SOMETIMES GET ANGRY. BUT THEY ARE ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING TO TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER. THEY ARE CONSTANTLY REFINING CERTAIN SKILLS, LEARNING TO INTEGRATE VARIOUS PARTS OF THEIR LIVES IN WAYS THAT MAKE THEM MORE EFFECTIVE.” Stewart D Friedman

The final three chapters of the book are full of exercises that you can use to lead the life you want!

Further resources are available at www.totalleadership.org

Gallus build sustainable, high performance environments that everybody can believe in. With particular expertise in leadership capability and alignment, organisation design, business transformation and enterprise risk management, Gallus challenge assumptions, cultivate belief and drive positive change by making performance excellence systemic.

An established business with Headquarters in Northampton, UK and offices in London, Manchester and Aberdeen, Gallus work with ambitious organisations across the world from a wide range of sectors.

Find us at www.gallusconsulting.com or call +44(0)20 3751 6345.

0203 751 6345

www.gallusconsulting.com