FLAT-FOOD
E H T S A AND X E T F O E L D N A H N A P
By Larry Cooperman
M 32
ineola, Texas is a beautiful little town and a pleasant place to be “stuck.” Packed and ready to go, the cyclist took one last cup of coffee, bought
November 2017
supplies, and cycled on Texas Highway 69 which went northwest into the Panhandle. “Where’s your flat-food section?” The cyclist asked the produce manager at the Piggly Wiggly. “It’s next to the round-food section…What do you mean, flat-food?” Amused, the man-
ager smiled with curiosity. “You see, young man, that I am THE cyclist and bear the weight of sixty-five pounds, one pound for each year of my life, and flatfood is what the cyclist needs to pack correctly and balanced. Besides, I love Swiss cheese and hard salami. Tortillas work better than bread, sliced cheese is more efficient than block, sliced roast beef better than pork short ribs, and dried apple better than not-dried apple.” Always fairly detailed in explanations, the cyclist picked up a grapefruit and tossed it up and down saying, “Weighty and round.” The produce manager said, “You’re funny, but I get it.” Perhaps the cyclist is not eating well but well enough; he burns every bad calorie off. Packing correctly is essential. This became evident on his earlier failed attempt in August 2016, where he had to turn around for his best friend’s funeral in Columbus, Georgia, to cycle madly back to Savannah. Picking up a Tumbleweed Man on a Huffy stuck-inone-gear bicycle in Adrian, Georgia, the man fueled on malt liquor and couldn’t keep up, then left at a feed store near Swainsboro. The cyclist had packed two small Axiom Seymour panniers and a medium internal frame
