BENEVOLENT SEXISM
Guilty!
WORDS
LES ABLE
I’m a ‘Benevolent Sexist’ We men who hold doors open for women, offer them our jackets when it’s cold and perhaps refuse to split the restaurant bill are it seems guilty of the heinous crime of ‘benevolent sexism’.
According to an American study such behaviour and courtesy is both insulting and degrading to women. According to researchers what some of us males might regard as mere politeness or etiquette is in fact as dangerous as hostile sexism, eg wolf whistling, therefore it is more insidious and harder to spot. Professor Judith Hall, of Northeastern University in Boston, says: “Benevolent sexism is like a wolf in sheep’s clothing that perpetuates support for gender inequality among women. These supposed gestures of good faith may entice women to accept the status quo in society because sexism literally looks welcoming, appealing and harmless.” I have to confess at this stage that on those findings then I’m definitely beyond redemption. But then Harry Potter actress Emma Watson adds to this debate by calling for men to let women pick up the restaurant bill after revealing she was rebuffed by an “awkward and uncomfortable” date when she offered to pay for the dinner. Her companion, who considered himself a feminist, apparently became ‘tetchy’ when she told him she would pay. The actress went on to say that she ‘loves chivalry’ but that women should also be able to pay for dinners or open the door for a man. So for guidance I turned to Isle of Man-based film producer Zoe Guilford. “Being someone who never expects to be paid for by men, I always offer to pay or go dutch,” she says. “But equally I’m always hoping the man will insist as it’s such an attractive quality.” Zoe, producer of the highly praised “The Watchmaker’s Apprentice”, adds: “I think it fully depends on the situation; if it’s romantic, then it would be lovely for him to pay but if it’s friendship then you should go dutch. Those rules are becoming outdated I guess but I still like the tradition.” I’m suddenly realising that I must be an antiquated saddo as I’m even uncomfortable when walking along the pavement with a woman and I’m not on the side nearer the road where I’m the one who risks getting splashed on a rainy day by water thrown up by passing cars.
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I do, however, think very carefully these days before giving up my seat on a crowded train to a woman who I think might be heavily pregnant when in fact she could just be overweight and bordering on obese if the lastest figures on obesity are to be believed. Examples of hostile sexism include suggesting that women tend to exaggerate problems at work while someone who is benevolently sexist will believe women should be rescued before men from a sinking ship. The American survey found that men who are guilty of benevolent sexism see women as ‘warm and pure, yet helpless and incompetent beings’. So which category do you fall into:
HOSTILE SEXISTS Ban women from sports clubs Wolf whistle at women Love topless calendars Leave the housework to the wife/partner Believe women who claim to want equality actually want special treatment Say most women interpret innocent remarks as sexism
BENEVOLENT SEXISTS Hold doors open for women Call women ‘love’ or ‘dear’ Refuse to split a bill Offer women their jacket if they look cold Say a good woman should be put on a pedestal Say men should make sacrifices to provide for women I’ve just realised I must be a dedicated ‘benevolent sexist’ who requires an urgent full frontal lobotomy having today stood back and let a woman out of a lift first. Worried though, she didn’t say ‘thank you’!
THE AGENDA SUPPLEMENT