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Letter frorn the editor Presidentts letter Pub crawl

Glinical revue Glinical dinner Glicendales

Eubject review ll,ledsin

Real-life medicine Book review Horoscopes Essential elective vocabulary

Letter from the editor Well, this is my secofld, ard last letter to you all. Its been a year of arse-kissing potential sponsors, and Matt Laugftame, and also ofteally, really creatively draining hard urork. Okay, skip the last bir has been arr wentfirl year, largely summarised in two copies of Black Bag. The ents reps have provided us with many hours of amusemeng not always at their expense, ald the test ofthe committee have done a great job ofkeeping the Galenicals committee ticking over All this in the face of the stressfirl "subject


teviev/'. As an aside to all tJris nostalgia, I'd like to say "tlank God it's handover tirne". My advice for any buddiag committee members is "Okay, go for iq but get your head read fust!". Being on the committee ar hard wotl doing jobs that most of the student body don't reahse exisg and then taking the flack when the ptoverbial hits the fao. However, it's also a bloody good laugh, and there's a meal thrown in at the end, rvhich is nice. Angela has done a great iob as presideng acting as figurehead for the comrnittee, arrd geneally takirg the lead with Cleopatra like authority. As have all the members, inclu.ling "e mail vrhiz", Mike. The bar has taken on a new identity, we've made money for out chosen cbarity, Motivation, arrd not one of us has been kicked out ofrnedicine. Yet.

Good luck to all the nevr committee memben. Make sure you have as good a time as rve did. Hepatomegaly is unfornmately an occupatioralhaztxd. And finally, take care of youtselwes, and each other. . . Anna and


From the President: Creetings. I hope this finds you allwell. lts hard to believe that my twelve months as president are coming to an end, but here is a final note from your soon-to-be-ex president. The calenicals committee have been working really hard on your behalf and I think we have achieved some important things. We put forward a proposal to have a week of A and E incorporated into year three which has happened, we had the sfiucture of the second clinical attachment changed (into separate medical and surgical firms), we have protected the option for third year students to go away on the EcTs scheme and we have represented medical students on

the issue of the controlled parking zone, improving library facilities


handbooks, organising student representation during subject review.. ..and generally fighting the monster that is medical education.

to so many people for

making my time as president easier...Gavin Dreyer is an absolute legend as are Matt Laugharn and James Dodd. Thanks for keeping me sane! Thanks are also due to the poor souls who have had to live with me: Joy Sanders, Sally John and Rachael Hardaker'..than k you for your suppon and for putting up with my tantrums. Thanks to the committee that I have been part of and who have worked so hard on your


owe thanks




write this rehearsals for the revue seâ‚Źm

to be more or


continuing around the clock....but it will all be over by the time you read this, as will Clicendales....a pre-emptive thank you to the organisers for all their hard work. To of luck to the recently elected new committee and to the new president, Carmen. I think you'll find the next twelve months fairly hard work but quite a laugh. Take care, Anqela Atalla, calenicals President, 1999 2000.


ub crowl 2000

Jusf when you thought it wos safely forgotlen about, ond thot you hod guietly slipped bock into ononymity, we bring you the photos. 5o broce yourselves, and desperolely try to remember if you pulled cnyone that night, while your boyfriend was tucked up in bed ot home. Then try to remember if there wos o cchero neor by, ond stort soving for the ronsom money you'llsend us to stop us forwording copies to your porents...


Double exposure-you know who you ore...

Pub crowl cont...

Oh look, o medic drinking, how gueer...

Some people look the pyjamo theme q

Morsh-pul them down...

little too seriously....

Pub Crowl cont...

Hod o pint hove we... wos

lhis before or ofter


goi his knob out...z

And finolly, someone who doesn't suffer with brewer's droop. (Look closely)

Lordy, lord...

It's the Clinicol Revue 2000! "Oh! whot o night" (or four) thof turned out to be, os the song in the performance nightly declored. Yet onother exhibition of whoi con hoppen when you gather togelher a gong of clinicol medicol students, alol of face point, o bewildered oudience ond mony, mony pints of the demon drink.

The revue this yeon wos ogoin on excellent example of teom spirii, orgonisofionol mostery, ond blotont olcoholism. The writers triumphed with their rozor-shorp wit, the producers wifh their sheer tenacity, the director with o constont supply of Red Bull, ond fhe performers with their fronk ottention-seekin9. Nof to mention ihe fobulous bond ond stage c?ew. Quotes from bockstoge included: No reolly Jonny, purple is this seoson's block... Ru, you've left some stoge point on your chin...oh, ifs reol, oh sorry... Morry me, Nicky... Chris, Chris puf the omphetominas owoy, you're meonf to be on stage... Mikey, wheee's the block rubber dildo this f ime? Righf bend over... So Son, just how long is ifZ No,no I meont your whip... So here's lhe evidence fo prove whot o greot time wos hod by oll. Enjoyl


Chris ond Don con't sfoy





long enough even

to pzrform.


Down boys...

The wolnus

of lurrve.

Nice pelvic oction Rob.


Moff mokes himself ot


Cotmen gels oscites ofter a week of posf-revue beers.

Bevis & Bloofer reod "How to pull binds"

And the oudience breoth o sigh of

relief-the finolel

THE CLINICAL DINNER At the Grand(the only place that hasn't banned us-yct) 'Ihe clinical dinner was a roating

with the Rristol Medics managng to produce their own vomit-slick in the Rjver Avon. Thc food was,er, top quality, and \r'orti every penny, and the drinks were, well, more than reasonable, at a mere {ive pounds for a doublc. This didn't detcr many of our more seasoncd alcoholic chums, who chose to "bdng thcir own", in the fotm of a variety ofcheap spidts picked up at Spat on thc way to the hotel. Putc gcnius... success again this year,

Mike proves he officially has thc largcst hcad in lrurope, by wearing all d:e party hats.

Chaz finds ont that wher he shuts up, girls wi// tal\< to


Clinical dinner cont. . .

Itob and Gav celebratc thc fact that they have both pulled. Tn the past. Oncc.

( Nlore patty hats for Nfike.

S//68/YD/#lES 2000 Feather dusters and whips are put away for another year and people have stopped making jokes about me and my dancing partriers, but befote memories of Clicendales 2000 fade, let me iust say a big thank-you to everyone involved. Whethet you came along to boogie to the bandr swoon ovet sexy men, drool ovet those gorgeous gitls or were on stage

strutting your stufq you helped raise nearly {3000 fot Cancer and [eukaemia In Childhood.

If you werentt there, what can I

say? You missed Satah showing how to put a whip to good use, Nav with a ttsillry

smooth" chest, Bloater in a size ten skitt (wasntt that a trcat), Bevis (with what remained of his resistant-to-allknown-epilation- eatment shouldet hair)' Niggsy (of the amazing legs), Toby in sttategic camouflage and of coutse, Joe showing off his bottom!

Luckily (or not), some of out antics have been captured on camera. [,ook and laugh, although not too hard as you nevet know, next yeal it could be you up there in your pants!! Eve Scuffil

A huge thanks go to Eve, Satah and Polly for choteogtaphing and organising a spectacular show which will undoubtedly ptouide many a lonely medic with enough wank material to last the next academic yeat. Anyway get those tissues teady, here come the photos!

Thot's one woy to secure your house-job...

The best

of Bristol beef?l


for o normol Fridoy night ot


Nigrgsy's legs moke every girl jeolous....

Thonks go to llike Whitehouse for" kindly lendinq the nale doncers o few choice items from his wordrobe..........

Off ts ride o tdsy younq bucking bronco loter.

The girls cssume the usucl Fr"idoy ni-oht.bosition for" oll feminists..-...

"Ona tura thnee and nrrsh" tha midwife iells



MedSlN UK exists

to provide medical students with an

objective unbiased understanding of health issues that face all humanity. lt also aims to improve the health status of local communities as an adjunct to other health services. As part of MedSlN UK, MedSlN Bristol hopes to encourage students to take an active role in the design and implementation of humanitarian and educational projects on a local and a global scale. Some of you may be aware of the exciting China project we now have up and running. This summer four medical students from Bristol and possibly some from London are going out the Dapu districl in rural China to teach English in a small village. This continues a project started last year and we have high hopes for the future. Long term we hope to rebuild a house (126 rooms!) in the village, making it a base for Bristol students and maybe even turn it into a clinic or school. The university has been very supportive of our endeavours with funding coming from the Alumni foundation and the lnternational Department and the opportunity to do Chinese as a second year SSM option.

Two of our new poects have been inspired by MedslN groups at other universities. The first of these, "Easy Tige/ aims to teach safe sex education in local schools. The second, "Marrow", hopes to get students and staff to register for bone marrow donation. ln addition to this we hope to establish a committee of students who have the skills needed to run their own bone marrow screening clinics. Both of these projects need

if you are interested contact Sarah on (Easy TigeQ, or Warren on (Manow). A third project of ours is to your involvement and so

develop an electives database. Work is currently being done to obtain a list of contacts from all the fifth year students and this will hopefully be extended to a short obligatory questionnaire to be completed as part of the elective report.

MedSlN now has groups running at many of the UK med schools. Projects which have been set up include incorporation of a sign language course as an SSM option, performing arts in hospitals to provide entertainment for long stay patients, working with Medical Foundation for the Care of Victims of Torture, getting involved with projects to help the

homeless, working with refugees living in the local area, and fundraising for local charities.

By becoming involved with MedSlN you automatically have access to projects run by the lnternational Federation of Medical Students' Association (IFMSA). These include working with refugees in Burma, displaced people in the Sudan, orphans in Romania, and children eiiected by HIV and AIDS in a number of countries io name but a few. To find out more contact Maaike on mm8086 or go direct to the IFMSA web site (www. if msa. oro/proiects).

The more you become involved with a group like MedslN UK, the more ideas there are for projects which could be set up in Bristol, the more you will hear ahelu! inrnlrino evenJ.e thzt are haaoenino 2ll ovAr the world to make a difference to peoples'lives, and the more opportunities there are for interesiing ways to spenct'that summer holiday some of you are stili lucky enough to have. lf you want to qet involved there is a role for you to play so contact me (Eve) on es581 1 or give me ring on 9737169, or Lisa

x nFmb.r of rl. Mcdi.rl Pmtedion so.ier\! )our neels arc foFnon +{o' prJdiri"rq " a' do.r'r d . rorr',.d' rl 'n 'Q 'o lisien ro )rn and respond by dllering tlr. belp you nccd \n.n L! ned ir


How can we help


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Becoming a member \lenbersnip is free until tou qua[6: For n]or. infor.ratnrn rnd d dpplication lorm plcas..all o!r Nlcmbcr5bip HelpLin.o. 01.r1 137 L3i lall calk.harg.d at raie\r

Committed to srpporting student life


arc lacr pr.scDr ii rcnr (hool and often supp.n k,.rl lude.t mednal so.ieri.s.rganising imp.itant edu.rin,nal rnd c\tfF Shonld vou lvnh b dis.u$ x sponr.hip opponuni$r plea$..nh.t


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todar and enlor rh.;uran.r ol belons,ng ro th. wonds^ lor do.t.r p(ne.t.n orgr.nrt.n.


a d jru'"al aianr L ntdtuhtNboak'ariht" ]i.uhtts ,tdgnzin.

MEDIcAL PRoTEcTIoN SocIETY M.dicil Prot..rion So.idl, a,ranrrr\\harJ H.use, L.cds LSll iP\'. Lll.


].r.snn,le,0llr I ll0;00 I nii (ntr


htpJAvNv mps org uh

REAL LIFE MEDICINE You never think it will happen to you. Four years at medical school, inumerable resuscitation sessions, hundreds of episodes of casualty, but never will it happen to you. You sit through the simulated scenarios, ,.Help, help, my baby's stopped breathing", or "Come quickly, I think My Dad,s having a heart attack", but it's hard to apply it to real lii'e, and if you do it's in the context of a casualty department, with the crash team just a phone call away. Not so. Recently, I was in the car, on the M5 driving to Nottingham with my boyfriend, also a medic. It was a stunning Spring day, and life was great. Until, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a coach parked on the hard shoulder. No big deal. Until I looked again, and saw a black leather-clad motor cyclists lying on the tarmac, his bike over-rumed on the embankment. "Oh God, there's been an accident, what do we do?". My boyfriend repeated the question back to me, "What do we do, what do we do?"and a second later had safely parked the car on the hard shoulder. "We've got to at least see if we can help." Ils was sure that it was our duty to offer any assistance we could. on the other hand, was not.


Millions of thoughts travelled rhrough my mind, "We'll just be in the way", "Someone else will stop who'll know what they're doing", "The ambulance will be here soon". But I was also sprinting down the caffiageway. By now all my head was filled with was " Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit, mirror, signal manoeuvre, no, shit, ABC, oh shit, what if he's already dead. . .,' As we approached the cyclist, my heart was thumping against my chest like a hungry prisoner on the wall of his cell. Suddenly, the sky had clouded over, the noise from the carriageway was deafening, and, in just my T-shirt, I was cold. And scared. On getting nearer I saw the man lying on the gravel, with a stream ofblood pouring from the back ofhis helmet. Real blood. Lots ofit. panic. Try to stay calm. We arrived and introduced ourselves as medical students. The cyclist's wife was screaming at a woman, who we later discovered was a nurse, desperately trying to stop her from pulling his helmet off. I stood to one side, and tried to issue instructions to my now-colleague who was kneeling by the patient. "Tell people to stand back and calm down". "Has somebody called an ambulance?" "Is he breathing, yes, well then leave the helmet and keep his neck supported,,.

"Check pulse" "Present but weah about 50" "Pupils, both dilated" "Is that good or bad?" "Just wait with him, keep monitoring his breathing, if it goes off before the ambulance arrives, we'll have to take his helmet off'. In the meantime another woman arrives who tells us she is a doctor. She also just kneels by him and waits. That makes me feel better. Finally the police arrive, followed by the arnbulance, air ambulancg and ire brigade. We leam that the rucksack he had been carrying had come off and got trapped in his wheels, throwing him across the carriageway. His wife had been on another bike behind him, and had seen the whole thing. She had already lost a husband in a bike accident. Stupid woman, is all I can think, for which I later berate myself. His pulse was now down to about ten, and he was unresponsive. I stood there, helpless, and watched the life draining out of him. And now all we could do was step back, and watch the professionals take over.

I spent the rest of the joumey asking myself, had we done all we could, would he survive, and if he did what would his quality of life be like? However, the one recurring question in my mind, which will probably always haunt me, is, would I have stopped if I had been on my own? The question isn't as scary as the answer, which is probably not. Does that make me a selfish person, a coward, or just hunan? I don't know.

All I do know is that this could happen to anyone, as your teachers


Anna Clarke.

and that its never as simple

tell you. And that, when it comes down to it, we're all only

JamesDodd &Iackie Earl

'Multidisciplinary team','self directed leaming','vertical themes', .integrated teaching',......whal do these have in common? Well they have all become catchphrases amongst students, they induce a stmnge combination of boredom and nausea but I,m afraid the subject of this article is likety to produce a similar reflex, 'student fee(lback'. Whether you autonatically add it iffo your 20% scheduled non attendance, or you feel that it is your duty to suggest that they extend the l5-hour seminar on rulny noses, feedback holds a special place in the hearts ofus all. We have decided that it is time to come out, it is time that we explained ou$elves and revealed the dirty secret that we have been carrying around with us for some time, yes, we thirft st:Jdent feedback h actually fairly interesting! Now bear with us, we, like you went through similar experiences of feedback hell. You may cringe when some loud mouth in a plenary session denaDds that the shower on the fouith floor of unit 6a in Taunton wasn't 41 C or when Mr. Keeay Mckeen decides that it would be great to suggest doubling the cou$e content to give us something to do at the weekends!

It's when you get down to the business of trying to sort out these tbedback nightmeres that you realise the potential of the whole process. We all feel rhat sometimcs feedback can be collected as a matter of habit ar the expense of good or essential issues, Students and staff arc both guilty of playing the student feedback game without getting to the heart of the matter, plobably because to do snrdent feedback well is difficult. it takes a kx of co[unitment and some would argue an entire chaoge in the culture towards our education. Fortunately most of us are comnircd to improving this process. So what can be done to get to the truth about what's happening

wirh the course? How can we make everyone feel involved and represented? Why does the whole process make us want to boil our heads at the end of it? It is the in these areas, especially head boiling, rhat we have been working. Some of the answers revealed themselves to us whilst stufling our taces wirh hot dogs and 'Moose watching'oo a recent holiday, ooops SSM to Canada. It seems that the Canadian rnedics had a similar problem with student tbedback but have moved to a program of 'student led' feedback. Having successfully half inched this idea and jiggled about wilh it ro make it our own we are cuffently trialing it here in Bristol. The p nciples behind this initiative are rhat student feedback should be a wortlrwhile and fulfilling process for all involved, studeft themselves should develop the quesrions rhat ne€d addressing and highlight arcas that may be better dealt with in small group discussions. Fhally students should also coordiDate its collection ard analysis. The reaction so far has been a positive one, students have been morc involved and consequeody been producing higher quality feedback. Realistically not all feedback can or should be colducted in this way but it is atr extra tool at the disposal of the course organisors to find out exactly what is happening on the front line in inedical education

Mystic medics


With the moon in Uranus, you're likely to suffer from a bout of piles in the future. But don't worry-a pissed up gang of medics will be sure to examine you one after another whilst on a surgical firm.

LIBRA An interesting letter may arrive for you. It is likely to be from a stranger, who make take the pseudonym of "bank manager", and could potentially mean a f15 charge, and a night in.



Strange things will happen to you after you drink ten pints of lager. You may meet an attractive stranger, who comes to your aid as you vomit into a drain.

You find yourself strangely drawn towards a new shopping experience at a venue called Sainsbury's. Do not be fooled by its bright lights and bread smells. Ten pounds does not stand a chance of surviving in such a place.

TAURUS Important decisions will need to be made very soon-Wedgies or Lizard lounge, for example. Choose wisely, o' you may end up getting piss dripping onto your head.

GEMINI Money could be tight in the near future, as you are forced to wait for the arrival

of your grant cheque. Beansfordinner again, then?

SAGITTARIUS Family disputes may get you down this month. Parents in particular may be especially likely to kick off once you tell them you have exceeded your overdraft limit again. Saturn is in the house of taurus, which suggests you should sack it off and get a professional studies loan.

CANCER Love is in the air, and you may find yourself getting lucky on a night out. Venus is rising, which could mean this will be on a wednesday.

CAPRICORN Friends may turn against you and you could find them intolerant of your minor irritating habits. This could include vomiting in the communal sink, or urinating in non-acceptable parts of the house whilst hammered.



Problems at work may mean that you will be tempted to miss ward rounds and/or lectures. Use this time prudently to sleep off any hang-over from the previous niqht.

Your appearance may cause you some angst this month. Do not ljsten to people if they accuse you of being minging. Try not to focus on the fact that you may not have known the pleasures of the flesh for quite sometime. Perhaps consider a hobby. Preferably one which allows you to stay

VIRGO Travel is on the cards for you, as the wandering Pluto circles your sun. Don't ignore the travel bug, but make the decision to visit one of the lovely hospitals in the Southwest. Or go skiing.


TRUST ME (I'm c doctor)- A Consumer's guide to how the system works By

Dr. Phil Hommond ond Michoel Mosley 1999 Metro Books 89.99 This is the lotest offering from the utti-estoblishment crusader, this tirne in book fonmot. For those of you who hove not yet become ccqucinted with him, Phil Hammond is o local 6P turned comic,leocher of communication skills. whistle-blower, ofter dinner speoker ond now outhon.

The book is divided into iwo parts: the first obout the'medicol culture', the second oimed ot ihe public with regord to heolth motters, heohh promoiion, ond how to 9et tha best out of their doctors. The

first section offers

on overwhelmingly cynical look

ot medicol culture

with regord to the noture of student teoching by consultdnts (lika breeds lika), medical mishaps ond misfokes, getiing jobs, student behoviour, ond stondords of medicol ond surgicol treotments (which vory notionwide). is predomindntly dnecdotol in content with toles of rocisln, Sexism, secrecy, omozing stotistics, demon doctors ond butchering surgeons. mokes for entertoining, sometimes shocking reoding. buf the moin criticism thof f would moke is thot it is o wholeheortedly criticol look at the medicol profession. This is not on enfirely true representotion of medicine, ond cppeors lo be structured purely to chollanga the perceived views of the great British public. ft would be refreshing to heor some mone optimistic views.



However, f think that three voluoble points mcy be gained from reoding this section. The first is that for those of us who do not reolly undersfond the details of the Bristol heort scondsl, Dr. Hommond offers on infonmofive, unbiosed, chronologiccl account of the events. This is worthwhile reoding for onyone, but especiolly Bristol groduotes. The second point is that Dr. Hqmmond oddresses issues which will offeci us all in the future: occountobiliiy, self governonce cnd medio involvement in

medicine. This offers on importont iniroduction with o few onecdotes. The final point is ihot as future doctors we musf begin to reolise, thot in these changin9, Iitigation-conscious times, secrecy ond pnotection of colleogues will soon be o thing of the post. The culture of tnedicine is changing.

feel thot ihe finol seciion is mcinly oimed of fhe public, fl offers some cdvice on heolth promotion ond how to ensure thqt you teceive the 6est cane, but it tends to be inflcnmotory , encouroging people nol to 5elieve informofion given to them by doctors, ond to believe thot lhey ore 6eing denied optimol medicotion. A point which Dr. Hqmmond, in my view foils to moke, is fhot shortcomings in heolthcore mcy not olways be the result of bod doctoring, but of economic shortfolls ond government. Howevet, within this section is o worning to us oll: in this oge of technology ond the intemet, people now hove occess fo much information, and it moy not be longbefore there is increosed demond for new ond expensive treotments.









37 - 39 Qtreens Rood,

2 Foirfox Street,

Clifton, Brislol

Bristol BSI 3DB.


0tt7 9221757 0tt7

929 2494

ATor 3s3e



With so many of us due to travel to far-flung parts of the globe for electives, we thought it helpful to provide you wlth a collection of really rude insults in a variety of languages. We hope this guide will prove an lnvaluable aid if you should find yourself having any run-ins with the locals, and aim to cover a variety of indigenous common insults(which you can then translate using your mini{ictionary), so that no nation should be left unoffended.

*Your stinking foreskin filth" Polynesian insult.

'As flash as a rat with a gold tooth" Australian expression.

'Your arse-hole is filled with blue mud" North American Indian insult.

'Your blistered crotch" Insult from the Marquesas islands.


will tear your crotch apart"

Iranian insult between women.


stick a pig's leg up your c**t until your back teeth rattle"

Japanese insult.

'C.opulab with my father, who is dead" Admiralty island's most unpardonable insutt.




hoF that your piles hang down like

in your mothe/s Spanish insult


Greek irEult directed at homosoruals.

a bunch of grapes"

'I s**t on your father's nose" Iranian insult.

a fart be on Iranian insult.


your beard/s**t be on your hair"

"Go to the prick's house" Cuban insult.

"May you dig up your father by moonlight and make soup of his bones" Fiji islands curse.

"Go to your mother's


Serbian insult.

"I shit on the balls of your dead ones" Spanish curse.

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" Arab curse.

"May you get f**ked by a donkey! May your wife get f**ked by a donkey! May your child f{{k your wife!" Egyptian curse, 950 BC.

"Go to holy


Cuban insult.

And finolly, bye from us, ond best of luck lo the new committee - . ANNA ond LTZ



Black Bag 2000

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