gair rhydd - Issue 921

gair rhydd

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CARDIFF'S STUDENT WEEKLY

freeword - EST. 1972

ISSUE 921 APRIL 26 2010

YOUR GUIDE TO THE 2010

Features >> pages 14-15, Sport >> page 31

The week we met Nick... and Gordon!

Sport chat to the Cardiff side as they prepare to defend their title

Emma McFarnon News Editor The Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg visited the Students' Union last week to answer questions in the run-up to the election.

Clegg, who was hailed as the winner of the first televised leaders’ debate, answered students’ questions on how his party would tackle global warming, reform immigration laws and cut public expenditure.

The leader endorsed his new plan for a £3.1 billion green stimulus package, which had been unveiled earlier that morning, and said that the banks’ reluctance to lend money is “the big-

gest hidden problem in the economy at the moment”.

The leader, who spoke in Solus lasMonday, told students: “This is your election, don’t let anyone tell you your vote is a waste. Take charge of this election, get stuck in, get engaged!

“Don’t believe that it has to be the same old same old – there is something exciting starting to happen. We can do something different. You hold the future of the country in your hands.”

The first question came from a student who asked if the Lib Dems would take a pay cut in order to start reducing public expenditure “at home”. Clegg replied: “The Liberal Democrats are actually the lowest paid MPs, and we haven’t accepted a pay rise. We need

to be restrained, we need to reform public sector pensions too. As money is saved, it must be saved fairly.”

When asked about his plans to clean up party politics, Clegg said that the Lib Dems had previously proposed a bill to limit the party funding, which he said was “hollowing out party politics”. He said that Labour had blocked it to protect their industrial interests, and the Conservatives to defend their “sugar-daddy in Belize”.

He also said that he would make a change to the Company’s Bill in order to regulate lobbying, and would allow people to sack their local MPs if they misbehaved. Clegg reminded students that although Cameron is advocating this policy in the run-up to the elec-

tion, when the Lib Dems first proposed it, Labour MPs “blocked it, and the Conservatives didn’t even turn out to vote”.

Clegg also criticised the shambolic reform of the House of Lords. “Our party has been talking about this for a hundred years. The House is a completely unjustified abuse of power. It’s stuffed full of MPs who have done favours for one another.”

One student asked about Clegg’s history as a researcher in a consultancy firm in London, and enquired as to how, given his comfortable upbringing, he was “any different from David Cameron”.

“This is such bilge!”, said Clegg.

“I’m not going to apologise for a job I

took 20 years ago! I am advocating a different approach to governing. I am who I am, I’m not apologising, I’m not going to airbrush it out, I’m proud and I feel very lucky to come from a loving home.

“I represent a value system, a philosophy which is different from what you’ll get from the other two”.

The leader was also asked about his policies on gender equality and immigration, and how he would tackle the problem of Muslims often being perceived as “terrorists”.

“We need a fair [immigration] system that works. People must have confidence in it,” he said.

>>continued on page 6

02 NEWS

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EDITOR Emma Jones DEPUTY EDITOR Simon Lucey CO-ORDINATOR Elaine Morgan SUB EDITOR Sarah Powell NEWS Ceri Isfryn Gareth Ludkin Emma McFarnon Jamie Thunder FEATURES Daniella Graham Robin Morgan OPINION Alex Evans POLITICS Damian Fantato ELECTIONS SPECIAL Paul Stollery Damian Fantato COLUMNISTS Tim Hart Oli Franklin LISTINGS Ed Bovingdon TAF-OD Nia Gwawr Williams Branwen Mathias Cadi Mai SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT Amy Hall Priya Raj JOBS & MONEY Katie Greenway SPORT Jon Evans James Hinks Adam Horne Lucy Morgan Robbie Wells CONTRIBUTORS Jonathan Bird Aleksandra Berditchevskaia Alex Bywater Mark Carless Tomos Clarke Joel Clendinning Alex Evans Adam Johannes Yas Langley Cynan Llwyd Elliw Iwan Sean Neagle Natalia Popova Ben Price Greg Rees Owain Rhys Lewis Rebecca Saunders Lucy Trevallion Aimee W Jake Yorath

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gairrhydd | NEWS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Cardiff PPCs debate higher education Tomos Clarke Reporter A hustings debate for Cardiff central candidates was held in the Julian Hodge building last week.

The debate, which was hosted by Cardiff University Debating Society was on the topic of Higher and Further Education, a key manifesto area of all three main political parties.

The panel consisted of Jenny Willot for the Liberal Democrats, Jenny Rathbone for the Labour Party, Karen Robson for the Conservatives, Sue Davies for UKIP, Sam Coates for the Green Party, Ross Saunders of the Trades Union and Socialist Coalition; “The Good Knight Sir Nosda”, aka Mark Beech, for the Monster Raving Loony Party and finally Nerys Willams AM, the Plaid Cymru education spokesperson who sat in for Chris Willams who was absent.

Edmund Schluessel, who organised the debate, opened proceedings. He was keen to stress that the debate was not, despite its brief, about education alone and he called for the audience to: “Make the candidates sweat”.

Ed Carey, Students’ Union President, chaired the debate. He urged the audience to ignore tactical voting and

come to their own voting decisions based on the arguments put forward in the debates.

First on the agenda was to give the candidates the opportunity to give an opening statement.

Mark Beech opened, and shocked the floor by giving a performance free of the Loonies trademark madcap policies. There were no such surprises from the other candidate’s statements, and they followed - for the most part - the central party lines. Jenny Willott appealed to the audience in these opening stages by calling for reform of the bursary system.

Sam Coates launched a scathing attack on the NUS. He also accused the student body of showing a lack of leadership on the matter of fees and going to the government with “a begging bowl” rather than fighting for students’ rights.

The debate then moved onto questions from the floor. These covered a wide range of issues from the NUS's ‘Vote for Students’ campaign to the issue of young carers at university. All candidates remarked on the need to help young carers and other disadvantaged students.

On the issue of vote for students, all candidates had signed the petition, bar one. Karen Robson from the Con-

Police urge students to be vigilant against crime

servatives did not sign the petition stating that she did not want to commit to supporting a spending pledge that could not be paid for in real terms.

This was responded to with hostility from the audience and members of the panel who said it was a question of where spending priorities lay.

The three main parties struggled on the whole to engage with the audience, but overall it was Willott, reflecting her party leader's performance in the national debates who appeared to be the most articulate of the three.

The best reception of the evening

HUSTINGS: Local PPCs debate higher education

UWIC first year freed from jail Jamie Thunder News Editor

BEWARE: Thieves remain prevalent in Cathays

Gareth Ludkin News Editor Local police have urged students to remain vigilant against burglars after a criminal was recently charged at Cardiff Crown Court for four burglaries.

The 26-year-old from Grangetown, Cardiff, was recently convicted for four burglaries and also for stealing from four other locations connected to local universities.

South Wales Police have stated that burglaries are continuing to occur, and they have urged students to make it difficult for thieves by keeping their homes more secure.

Last month almost half of breakins at student homes were the result of doors or windows being left open.

PC Tim Davies, student liaison officer, said: “Police in Cardiff work

extremely hard to reduce the number of burglaries, keep students safe, and arrest offenders.

“For every break-in, we at South Wales Police will carry house to house enquiries, check for CCTV, and complete a forensic examination if appropriate.

“Despite on-going efforts, burglaries continue to be an issue simply because student homes are rich pickings for criminals.

“Burglars know that all students now have laptops, iPods, and mobile phones.”

Despite criminals being attracted to the local student areas, Cardiff remains a safe place for students.

PC Davies advised students to keep doors and windows locked, remove expensive electrical equipment and remove items from back gardens that could be used by burglars to gain entry to properties.

was for Ross Saunders, the candidate for the Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition. wThe former education assistant struck a chord with the audience, his message of investment in public services before cuts resonated well and he by far got the biggest ovation. This was in stark contrast to Sue Davies. The UKIP candidate's message of EU phobia was swiftly disregarded by the audience, and sections of the crowd became restless and vocal towards the end as Europe was mentioned time after time.

A UWIC student jailed for a drunken attack on a pizza delivery man while dressed up as a Mexican bandit has been freed on appeal.

Sports Conditioning student Jordan Trace, 19, was ‘hideously drunk’ when he encountered 46-year-old Farman Ali on Senghennydd Road last October.

Lord Justice Stanley Burnton said Trace had asked to see Ali’s driving licence before saying: “You’re an illegal, aren’t you?” Trace then smashed Mr. Ali’s car window and attacked him, then stole £40 with the words “give me that money”.

Trace, from Lochaber Street in Roath, admitted robbery and causing damage to personal property at Cardiff Crown Court in January, and was jailed for 12 months.

His sentence has now been cut to 32 weeks, suspended for 18 months, meaning he is now free. He will also be required to complete a ‘thinking skills’ course and carry out 250 hours of unpaid work.

Lord Justice Burnton, sitting with Lord Justice Tugendhat at the London Court of Appeal, said the attack had occurred after a sports club celebration, and criticised the University for its lack of awareness.

“It is a startling aspect of the case that, it would appear, the young people at the university regard it as a badge of honour to drink to excess,” he said.

“It is remarkable that, so far as one can see, drinking at this level was common at this university.

“There is nothing to indicate the authorities were even aware of it, or did anything about it.”

He added that despite this, the ultimate responsibility lay with Trace.

“He was in fancy dress as a Mexican bandit and perhaps thought that this dress justified him acting as a bandit,” the judge observed.

He accepted Trace’s crime was out of character, and said dismissing his appeal could have a devastating impact on his university career.

But he warned Trace: “You have been fortunate today — keep away from drink.”

NEWS 1 EDITORIAL & OPINION 9 ELECTION SPECIAL 10 POLITICS 13 FEATURES 14 LETTERS 19 TAF-OD 20 SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT 23 LISTINGS 24 XPRESS 26 FIVE MINUTE FUN 27 SPORT 28

NEWS 03

gairrhydd | NEWS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Stranded students Volcanic ash cloud affects return to Cardiff for numerous students and staff left stranded abroad Ben Price Reporter The recent volcano eruption in Iceland has left many Cardiff University staff and students stranded abroad for almost two weeks.

The natural disaster has caused chaos for thousands of people around the world, who continue desperately to try and find alternative forms of transport other than by air in order to

get about.

Professor Chris MacLeod, a volcanologist at Cardiff University, predicted that the problem of ash in the atmosphere would be around for about two weeks, especially if there were further eruptions.

A Cardiff University spokesperson said that the disruption to air travel has, so far, had minimal impact on University staff and students; however, there have been reports of staff and students being stuck in places as far

away as Montreal and South Africa.

Students looking to return from foreign excursions over the Easter break have seen their holidays extended.

First year English literature student, James Prothero, remains in South Africa and believes he may be there until the 30th of April. James said, “I am not complaining about another two weeks in the sun, however, the prospect of returning to three essays to write in a week is pretty daunting.”

Second-year students studying marine geography have had an extra few days in Greece, but they were able to get a flight back to the United Kingdom fairly soon after air travel had been given the green light once again. Another group of students has been stranded in Malta. It is reported that these students have had to try and make their way back to Britain by road and by ferry.

The large ash cloud that has covered most of northern Europe’s air field has also caused problems for some Erasmus students looking to return to Cardiff for the final semester.

French student, Sébastien Chaillot, who studies economics, said that the disruption has meant that he has missed a very important presentation, although another few days at home in France had not bothered him too much

and he said that he was going to return to Cardiff by car.

The disruption has also stopped some staff members from returning in time to deliver their final lectures of the year. According to the Psychology department, they have had some staff stranded at conferences in Montreal and Granada.

A spokesperson for the Psychology department said: “They have been trying desperately to return by any means possible.”

Air travel has begun to return to normal, however, for those students who may need further advice, a Cardiff University spokesperson stated: “Any student who is affected should contact their School and, those based at the University who need advice on related issues should contact the Student Support Centre.”

Michaela Neild, Academic and University Affairs officer said: “I would advise any student who has been affected by the suspension of air travel to contact the Advice and Representation Centre in the Students' Union, either via advice@cardiff. ac.uk or call 029 2078 1410 or come to their drop in on the 3rd floor of the Students' Union between 10am and 3pm on weekdays, but 1pm-3pm on Thursdays.

Student Volunteering Cardiff celebrate another successful year at annual awards Gareth Ludkin News Editor One of Wales’ largest student volunteering organisations has celebrated another year of achievement supporting communities and the economy in South Wales.

In the last 12 months, Cardiff University’s Student Volunteering Cardiff (SVC) has proved itself to be an invaluable resource to the Cardiff community. It has helped around 1,000 young and old people to access vital support networks. The volunteering activities contribute an estimated £900,000 to the local economy.

More than 55 volunteers and project coordinators came together for an Awards Ceremony, receiving certificates from Cardiff University’s VicePresident Baroness Ilora Finlay of Llandaff for their work in organising community projects.

The Ceremony also saw Baroness Finlay presented with the Investing in Volunteers Award on behalf of SVC. She accepted the Award from the Wales Council for Voluntary Action

(WCVA), the body which manages Investing in Volunteers in Wales.

Cardiff University was the first higher education institution in the UK to achieve the standard in 2007.

The re-accreditation of the Investing in Volunteering (IiV) kite mark for a further three years recognises SVC’s continued commitment to improving the quality of its volunteering provision through training and investment.

It also acknowledges the enormous contribution SVC volunteers make to the city of Cardiff.

From befriending projects and hospice buddy schemes to after school clubs, homeless projects and mental health support groups, the student volunteers work in and around the city supporting the elderly, young, disadvantaged and vulnerable members of the community.

Patron of SVC, Baroness Ilora Finlay, said: “SVC is a credit to the University and an invaluable resource to the Cardiff community. In any given year, the students can spend up to 81,000 hours volunteering helping around 800 people a week - giving so much of their time to help those mem-

bers of the community who are often neglected is to be highly commended.

I felt very honoured to receive the award on behalf of the students.”

Cardiff School of Physics and Astronomy student, and Chair of SVC, Edd Gudgeon said: “Achieving the Investing in Volunteers standard for another three years will be a great

boost for SVC building on its already substantial reputation within the University, Welsh communities and the UK. It is testament to the hard work and dedication of all those people who come together year in year out to make this organisation work, as well as the volunteers themselves.”

SVC: Celebrating at the awards ceremony

Tab forced to apologise to Lizo Cambridge University newspaper The Tab has issued an official apology to a BBC correspondent following a number of false and damaging allegations.

Lizo Mzimbo, a former Newsround presenter was accused of unprofessional behaviour by the student newspaper back in October 2009. The 30-year-old journalist’s squeaky clean image was heavily tarnished with the publication of The Tab’s original condemning article.

The Tab was forced to apologise unreservedly for the articles following a complaint made to a London soliciting firm regarding a number of inaccuracies made.

The Tab now acknowledges that Lizo did not visit Cambridge to research a documentary to be called ‘Shamebridge’ aimed at exposing and embarrassing Cambridge students, and that he has never worked on a documentary of any kind.

The Tab claimed that whilst at the University filming this imaginary documentary, Lizo was ‘seen draping himself over a number of girls’ and loitering around ladies’ toilets.

The paper branded him a ‘sleaze’ and a ‘perv’, and claimed that his behaviour while in Cambridge was debauched.

The Tab’s apology also stated it was untrue that Lizo had been gaffertaped to a wall in Emmanuel College while students chanted, “Lizo, Lizo, what’s the news?” It also added that he had not been forced to lock himself in a toilet following a confrontation with students, and he had not been ‘bug-eyed and sweaty’ following a night of heavy drinking.

Folk concert for Cardiff Two students and a staff member from Cardiff University will be taking part in a musical concert with Y Glerorfa, The Folk Orchestra of Wales on May 1 at the Wales Millenium Centre.

Featuring over 40 musicians with traditional instruments the concert promises to breath new life into traditional folk melodies alongside folk singing and clog dancing.

There is a strong family element to the orchestra, with around 11 separate family ‘units’, and members' ages vary from ten to 70. Around 30% of members are under 25.

Only one member is a professional musician, but around ten make their living in the musical world as teachers, university lecturers, tutors and music organisers.

The gig will also feature singer and harpist Sian James, five -piece folk group Calan and regulars on Radio 2; Lleuwen Steffan, Bagad Kevrenn Alre performing traditional Breton music and dances, and Nolwenn Korbell, a recording artist in Breton, Welsh, English and French.

More information can be found at www.wmc.org.uk

04 NEWS

gairrhydd | NEWS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Dinner held in Rhodri Morgan's honour

Aimee W. Reporter A dinner will be held this week for Rhodri Morgan, to celebrate his contribution to cultural and political life in Wales.

Cardiff University’s Vice Chancellor, Dr David Grant, will be hosting the event, along with friends from the University, to raise a toast to Rhodri Morgan's time as First Minister.

Rhodri Morgan has been involved with the University for many years,

Controversial ENCAP changes due to go ahead Alex Evans Reporter

and is arguably Wales' most revered and recognisbale politician.

In an article to celebrate the University’s 125th anniversary, he revealed that his father, T.J. Morgan, got his first job in 1929 as an Assistant Lecturer in the University’s School of Welsh. After learning the importance of higher education from his father, he left Wales to study at Oxford and Harvard Universities, but on his return to Cardiff his life-long connection with the University resumed.

Morgan was an MP, then an AM for Cardiff West, and was later the Min-

ister for Economic Development. His relationship with Cardiff and the University was further cemented during his time as First Minister.

He claims that his proudest moment during his time as First Minister was hearing the news that Sir Martin Evans had received the Nobel Prize for medicine in 2007.

The celebratory dinner will take place at the University’s Glamorgan Building, where Morgan will be presented with a celebratory book of photos of his visits to the University during his time as First Minister.

Controversial plans to merge ENCAP admin offices will still go ahead despite widespread opposition from students within the school, a Cardiff University spokesperson insisted this week.

A meeting held between University staff and student representatives revealed that the plans have been revised but are still to be carried out.

Administrative ENCAP staff will now occupy two separate shared second-floor offices, one for first-year and post-graduate support and one for second and third-year staff, as opposed to a single, shared office as was originally proposed.

As gair rhydd reported in issue 915, many staff and students were dismayed when they heard that the Centre for Language and Communication Research administrative offices was to be merged into one open-plan office with the Philosophy staff.

When plans were initially an-

nounced, one member of the ENCAP administrative staff, who wished to remain anonymous, said: “To take the admin offices out of the different school sections would be like ripping out the heart of an animal and putting it on life support. It would function, but it would not be as good as it was previously.”

Responding to criticism over the plans in a joint statement, Caroline Brown, Cardiff University's Schools Manager and Jill Burnett, Cardiff University’s Academic Manager, outlined their intentions for the changes: “This office plan will allow administrators with similar responsibilities in the various subjects to work together more closely than the previous proposal allowed, while still ensuring that they can act as the main point of contact for their disciplinary specialisms.”

“A considerable number of the issues handled by our administrators do not require knowledge of the particular discipline in order to provide a response”.

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gairrhydd | NEWS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Cardiff's teaching budget cut...

Jamie Thunder News Editor Cardiff University’s teaching budget is to be cut by more than £2 million next year, figures from the Higher Education Funding Council for Wales (HEFCW) show.

The drop of over three per cent will put funding for teaching at under £66 million, compared to this year’s allocation of over £68 million.

In total, the University will receive just under £2 million less from HEFCW than this year. Money available for ‘quality research’ and postgraduate funding will also decrease, but Welsh language provision, disability provision, and widening access funds will all go up.

The £1.96 million overall drop represents 1.74% of Cardiff’s total income from HEFCW this year. Excluding funds for capital projects, HEFCW has allocated £13 million less to Welsh universities.

While admitting that the University was “disappointed” with the settle-

ment, a Cardiff University spokesperson said that the actual reduction in teaching funds would be 1.4%, because student fees also contribute to money available for teaching.

The spokesperson said: “The University understands the short term budgetary pressures which lie behind this settlement, but universities compete in international markets and are judged by the quality of the student experience and research excellence that they offer.

“We believe that the long term future of Wales is best served by a vigorous, internationally-competitive Higher Education sector, working in partnership with business, the Health Service, other public bodies, and the community to increase the productivity of the nation.”

They added: “The University has been working with Schools to identify efficiencies that could be gained in teaching, learning and support budgets in order to absorb any reductions without substantively affecting the student experience for 2010-11.”

...and jobs to go Jonathan Bird Reporter Staff at the Welsh Centre for Pharmacy Postgraduate Education (WPCCE) face a period of job insecurity as the University confirmed that job cuts were planned.

A University spokesperson said that posts equivalent to 14.2 full-time jobs were to be reduced to 10.3, but that the 90-day consultation process was ongoing.

There are currently 17 members of staff in the WPCCE on fixed-term contracts which have to be renewed every few years.

In a letter sent to University and College Union (UCU) members and seen by gair rhydd, Cardiff UCU Executive deplored the temporary nature of the contracts and the reduced rights attached to those employment terms.

It claimed that some staff had been on such contracts for 15 years. Normally, any employee who has been on

a fixed-term contract for four or more years is classed in law as a permanent employee if their contract is renewed, or if they are re-engaged on a new fixed-term contract.

The only exceptions to this are when employment on a further fixedterm contract is objectively justified to achieve a genuine business aim and is also a necessary and an appropriate way to achieve that aim objective.

Alternatively this can also happen if the period of four years has been set as longer by a workplace agreement.

Management said workers were kept on fixed-term contracts so contracts were matched to the business needs of the centre and reflected the services it offered.

But the UCU letter condemned the practice and said it was “disgraceful that University management treat staff in such a shoddy way when they are no longer needed”.

If the staff were on permanent contracts they would be entitled to 12 months' notice of redundancy.

Cuts at Cardiff Teaching

-3.15%

-£2,144,159

Postgraduate research

-1.4%

-£41,667

Quality research

-0.4%

-£150,320

-1.7%

-£1,957137

**

Total cuts

*

* Source: hefcw..ac.uk ** Figure takes into account budget increases in other areas

Audit report slams loans programme Jamie Thunder News Editor The Customer First Programme for providing loans and grants to students “did not provide value for money” in 2009, a National Audit Office (NAO) report has concluded.

It found that an application took 12.4 weeks on average to be fully processed by the Student Loans Company (SLC), which delivered the Programme, compared to 9.3 weeks in 2008-9 when applications were handled by local authorities.

Processing of the Disabled Students’ Allowance took on average 20 weeks and by the end of 2009 only 24% of applications had been paid, leaving 13,000 without the payment.

This was because the SLC “underestimated the volume of work” and “did not allocate enough staff to the task” for it to be completed.

Unless reforms to the entire procedure are implemented, the report warns, “substantial risks remain to the successful delivery of the service” next year.

Lack of preparation and the makeup of the Programme’s board were particularly criticised. The SLC’s pilot programme had only covered 11 local authorities, while the new programme

took over from 130 authorities. This was deemed to be “insufficient preparation” by the NAO. The scanning system, which had to be abandoned after breaking down, had not been piloted before being used.

The SLC’s board “did not perform its oversight role effectively’”according to the report, and the Programme’s board lacked expertise in areas including IT, finance, and human resources.

The Department for Business, Innovation and Skills, which had overall responsibility for the Programme, failed to monitor the SLC properly.

The report stated that the Department still expected annual savings of £20 million as a result of the centralisation, but that “this benefit would be outweighed greatly by continued poor service”.

Amyas Morse, Head of the NAO, said: “The question must be asked how the Company, given its failure in 2009, will deal with twice as many applications in 2010, when it becomes responsible for applications from both first and second year students.

“The Department and the Company must give the highest priority to achieving a radical improvement in the service and, in so doing, to restoring the confidence of applicants and stakeholders.”

The Chief Executive of the SLC, Ralph Seymour-Jackson, said that

they “deeply regret” the problems, and that he “would like to reassure students and parents that lessons have been learned”.

He added that the SLC had improved the training of advisors, increased call-handling capacity, improved monitoring of performance, and developed contingency plans, as well as that the scanning system has been fully tested.

Three new non-executive directors have also been appointed to the Programme’s board.

Wes Streeting, President of the NUS, said: “Given that the SLC will be dealing with double the number of applicants this year, they must do everything in their power to avoid making the same catastrophic mistakes again.

“They must also drastically improve their communication with students and stakeholders, so that everyone is absolutely clear about how quickly applications are being processed from the very beginning.”

The NAO report is the second major review of the Customer First Programme. In December, Sir Deian Hopkins criticised ‘conspicuous failures’ in the handling of the problems.

Two SLC directors resigned shortly after its publication.

06 NEWS

gairrhydd | NEWS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Clegg and Brown visit Cardiff >>continued from front page “We will reintroduce the exit controls that the Labour government abolished, and we will add a third element to the points based system. We will ensure that immigrants are only allowed to work in certain regions where they are needed, to meet the needs of industry and the economy there.

“We must also remember that we can’t talk of “the” Muslim community – there are different Muslim communities. I loathe extremism, and people who espouse violence in any way.

Liberalism believes in pluralism, diversity, tolerance. It is the lifeblood of liberalism.

“I am also now won over to the idea that there is a huge bias against women in the workplace. We propose that people apply to jobs anonymously, so that employers don’t know your gender or ethnicity. We are not tapping into the value of this country. We need fairness – it is the one thing that drives me more than anything else.”

Asked about his stance on renewable energy and new runways at Heathrow Airport, Clegg said: “We are against the new runway. We need to take the country on a case by case basis, but we are certainly against the runway at Heathrow.

“We will invest in energy efficiency – the insulation of homes and buildings. 27% of carbon dioxide goes out of our ceilings and windows. We’ve actually unveiled a new policy this morning – a £3.1billion plan to take money from cuts elsewhere to create a one-off green stimulus package to

renovate properties to create homes.

Five million people still don’t have an affordable home. “£420million of that £3.1billion package will be used to equip old dock yards for offshore wind turbines.

We will also mobilise private investment.”

Clegg was also asked about his plans for the NHS, and how he would tackle the banks.

“To provide the NHS for everyone it costs £2,000 per person per year. It is wrong when that money is spent on managers, quangos, computer systems that don’t work, administrators.

We will come down hard on where that money is spent,” he said.

“We’ve spent a trillion pounds bailing [the banks] out, and they are not lending to people who really need it.

They aren’t spending – they’re hoarding money rather than spending it. It is the biggest hidden problem in the economy at the moment. We should do what Sweden did - they didn’t put excessive pressure to rush the banks back to privatization. We mustn’t push our banks back to re-privatize because it just withdraws money from the economy. We must force them to lend money. As long as they rely on our money for the bailout, there should be a ten percent tax on their profits, to help fill the black hole.”

In an interview with gair rhydd, Clegg was asked about the future of Higher Education, and what he had to offer young voters that Labour and the Conservatives did not.

“Our Higher Education system is one of the great British success stories. We have one of the best systems

in Europe, more and more people want to go,” he said.

“We have outstanding research.

We need to stop talking about Higher Education like it’s a drain – it’s a great asset.

“I think people feel that we called it right – whether it’s opposing the illegal invasion of Iraq, whether it’s opposing the industrial scale and structure of our civil liberties and the invasion of our privacy. Whether it’s the fact that we were the first party to raise the alarm about the greed of the bankers, who are simply running the place and the trouble caused.

“I think on all of those issues people feel that our values of fairness, of liberty and the privacy of the individual, of the international rule of law, not just simply doing what the Whitehouse says. The fact that we were the first party to campaign long before it was fashionable for anyone else to do so.

“And if you look now at our very different agenda – fair taxes, educational reform, a new approach to the economy and the cleaning up of politics from head to toe. I think it’s just really attractive to young people.”

The leader said he supported the plans of Kirsty Williams, leader of the Welsh Liberal Democrats, to hold a referendum as soon as possible to grant the Assembly full law making powers on education. “Let’s get on with it,” he said.

Clegg also talked about his plans to scrap tuition fees over the next six years: “Well we’ve got a plan. Of course we’d love to deliver it overnight but that’s just not possible given

how tight money is. What we would do is we would over six years in sort of incremental steps is remove tuition fees, so for instance in the first year, any undergraduate in their last year of study for their first degree of study would have their tuition fees removed, and then the next year, you’d move to the penultimate year. Then you’d cap tuition fees for part-time students.

And that is, I think, a policy which I hope people would believe in.”

The leader was also asked about his party’s potential pitfalls over the coming weeks, given that the Conservatives must steer away from being perceived as the “same old Tories”, and Labour carries the “ball and chain” of being an unpopular government in a recession.

“I’m not going to talk about downfalls!” he said. “I want us to be better and better. Don’t ask a politician about downfalls because you won’t get much of a response – no, but seriously, I genuinely think that as I said before, things will change, things will go up and down, polls will come and go, but I think there is something very exciting going on. There are a growing number of people thinking maybe they’ll do something different this time.”

Two of our editors also met Gordon Brown during his visit to Cardiff Swalec Stadium last week. The Prime Minister answered questions about jobs in Wales and the possiblity of a hung parliament at a public event hosted by Red Dragon FM.

Library

named top six in world

Greg Rees Reporter Cardiff’s Central Library has been names one of the six best libraries in the world by the Sunday Times’ Travel magazine.

The multi-million pound library was opened at the southern end of The Hayes in March 2009 by the Manic Street Preachers.

It is one of only two libraries in Europe to feature in the list, and is the only British representative, beating famous institutions such as the National Library of Wales in Aberystwyth, and Oxford’s Bodleian library.

The other libraries to receive the accolade include the Bibliotheca Alexandrina, Egypt; the Stephen A Schwarzman Building, New York; Customs House, Sydney; Kyoto International Manga Museum, Japan and Denmark's National Library, based in Copenhagen.

The library houses over 90,000 books and has also been commended for it’s impressive green credentials.

Councillor Nigel Howells, said: “Our aim with Central Library is to create a new and exciting way for Cardiff residents to access library services, mixing traditional with new and interesting features.

“We also wanted it to be a venue which could be enjoyed in many ways, hosting events you wouldn't normally associate with a library, including speed dating and live music nights.”

Student charged with lying about laptop theft Ceri Isfryn News Editor

CLEGG PULLED IN THE CROWDS... BROWN JUST PULLED: (from left) Gordon Brown and Nick Clegg meet the gair rhydd team

A Cardiff University student has been charged with wasting police time after lying about the theft of her laptop in order to avoid a work deadline.

The 24-year-old female student, who cannot be named for legal reasons, is due to appear in court some time during the next six months.

She could face a maximum term of six months in prison for her actions, although police say that a fine is more likely in this instance.

WORLD NEWS 07

gairrhydd | NEWS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

You'll never guess what...

Crimewatch

Flies with that?

Emma McFarnon News Editor

People in Australia are taking advantage of a plague of locusts that have descended on his hometown, by eating them on a pizza.

The town of Mildura, in Victoria, has been inundated with millions of the flying pests for a week.

The Mayor suggested the idea: “I eat in at the cafe all the time and it seemed natural to suggest putting them as toppings on a pizza, they're crunchy and tasty.”

Princess in detention

Security guards in Disneyland Paris detained a woman and prevented her from entering the theme park because she was dressed as a princess.

Security guards were concerned that the woman could confuse other visitors. Natasha Narula, who was celebrating her 35th birthday, was wearing an old wedding dress bought from Oxfam for £20.

The park is investigating the incident.

Snap aerobics

Dutch police are searching for a group of burglars who twice broke into inmates’ prison cells to steal their televisions.

Twice in the past six weeks, burglars broke into a minimum-security prison and stole televisions from cells while prisoners were on a weekend leave of absence.

The prison, in the town of Hoorn, 26 miles north-east of Amsterdam, is for inmates near the end of their sentences.

A spokesman for the justice minisWEIGHT WATCHERS: Over quarter of Americans too fat for army

Fat fighters Lucy Trevallion Reporter A report has revealed that 27% of Americans aged 17 to 24 wanting to join the army are too fat to be recruited.

The report, carried out by retired officers, claims that obesity is the latest threat to American security. The ex-officers are deeply fearful that the sharp rise in obesity over the last 15 years will make it impossible for the military to fill its ranks.

Although all branches of the military now meet or exceed their recruitment goals, retired Navy Rear Adm, James Barnett Jr, said the obesity trend would make maintaining recruitment levels difficult.

“When over a quarter of young adults are too fat to fight, we need to take notice,” he said. He noted that

national security in the year 2030 is “absolutely dependent” on reversing child obesity rates.

Even if recruitment requirements are met, American children are so overweight from being fed french fries, pizza and other unhealthy foods at school that more problems could arise.

According to the report, the government spends tens of millions of dollars every year to train replacements for service members discharged because of weight problems.

The Army is already doing its part to catch the problem earlier, working with high school teenagers and putting interested recruits on weight loss programs.

The school lunch bill, currently awaiting a Senate vote, would establish healthier options for all foods in schools, including eradicating certain vending machine items.

BREAK-IN: Theives target prison

Poo la la! Man defaeces French flag Emma McFarnon News Editor

A water aerobics class at a holiday park in northern Australia was postponed last week when a five foot-long crocodile entered the pool.

Workers at the Howard Springs Holiday Park, on the outskirts of the tropical northern city of Darwin, were shocked to find the crocodile, which had crawled under a fence from a nearby swamp.

A government ranger was summoned to remove the visitor, which was identified as a freshwater crocodile. They are considered to be capable of giving a nasty bite but rarely fatal to humans.

try said the prison is a “very modestly protected environment”, where prisoners begin their transition back into society. They are typically allowed weekend leave.

The thefts happened on two separate weekends about a month apart in March and April. The ministry spokesman said it has still not been able to confirm how the burglars gained access.

A spokesman for the public prosecutor's office in the region confirmed only that a break-in at the prison had been reported to police and added that no arrests had yet been made.

The French Justice Minister has called for criminal proceedings to be taken against a man who was pictured wiping his bottom on the French flag.

The photo sparked outrage across France, after it was published last month in the free national newspaper, Metro (not connected to the UK Metro). The picture was a winner in the ‘politically incorrect’ category of a photography competition organised

by FNAC, a record and book store in Nice.

A Justice Ministry spokesman said that Justice Minister, Michele AlliotMarie, had “demanded that criminal proceedings be launched against this unacceptable act.”

“Presumably the law has the legal means to punish such an intolerable act against the French flag,” he said.

“If the existing law proves incomplete in this regard, it should be revised.”

The picture sparked outrage but the paper defended itself, saying it had merely been covering a local event.

FNAC, the organisers of the competition, said that they withdrew the photograph – with the consent of the photographer – after receiving complaints.

In France, it is an offence to insult the flag or the national anthem during an event organised by public authorities.

But Eric de Mongolfier, Nice's state prosecutor, said he had looked into the case when the picture was published, and concluded that the picture was not an offence under the law, as it was done in a “creative spirit”.

WIPE OUT: Practical joker sparks controversy

04 NEWS

gairrhydd | NEWS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY OCTOBER 26 2009

OPINION 09

gairrhydd | OPINION@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Downs with Frankie Boyle Even Frankie Boyle should know better than to perpetuate old-fashioned views about people with a serious condition

Rebecca Saunders Opinion Writer We’ve all been there – a joke shared that is so borderline that we aren’t sure if we should laugh or cringe. Michael Jackson’s death brought hundreds, Al Qaeda has been the subject of many hilarious jibes and recently, the disabled have been the humour targets of choice. Ouch.

I love comedy, particularly live; I am often the first to pass on a joke, (what’s the difference between Cheryl Cole and the Icelandic volcano? Cheryl isn’t blowing Ash any longer…) and I appreciate the intelligence it takes to write funny material. But I don’t feel the need to cross the line between witty, clever humour and cheap, unintelligent digs at people.

Last week, Frankie Boyle was criticised for his attack on people who have Down’s Syndrome. A mother of a five year old girl who has Down's, and her husband, were sat in the front row of one of his shows. Boyle started poking fun at the stereotypes that still exist about people with Down’s; he then noticed Sharon Smith and her husband talking in the front row and confronted them. When Sharon explained that she was upset by some of his jokes because she had a daughter with Down’s Syndrome, Boyle

laughed and said ‘but it’s all true isn’t it?’. ‘No’ replied Sharon and back came the retort ‘this is my last tour. I don‘t give a fuck what people think'.

Callous? Yes. Unnecessary? Yes. Unexpected? Probably not. Boyle has a reputation for being a comedian who makes jokes at the expense of others.

He’s been reprimanded for it before – think back to his jokes on Mock the

Week about Rebecca Adlington which were deemed ‘humiliating’ and ‘offensive’ by the BBC Trust in 2009.

So should the Smiths have known better about going to a show by a comedian such as Boyle? I don’t think so. Some comedians are known for making poor jokes about people with disabilities - Jimmy Carr for instance.

In my opinion, Frankie Boyle usually

makes clever satirical comedic observations. He is famed for a dry sense of humour and for an apparent hatred for everyone. Usually, the targets of his jokes are quite deserving. Usually the jokes aren’t mindless attacks on a group of people who don’t have an arena in which to reply.

My youngest sister, Alice, is eleven years old. She goes to the local mainstream primary school, she is learning to play the drums and the piano, she has swimming lessons and like most 11 year old girls, she loves High School Musical and JLS. Alice also happens to have Down’s Syndrome.

She is nothing like any of the stereotypes that Boyle used in his show.

Boyle has since said that it was the most mortifying moment of his career.

I’m glad he’s mortified. People with Down’s Syndrome have been battling against outdated stereotypes for years.

I know young adults with Downs who can drive, live independently and have full-time jobs.

I know children and teenagers who are treated just like any other child of their age, who get GCSEs, and go to college. You only have to spend five minutes with Alice to have every preconception of Down’s Syndrome blown away.

I wonder how Frankie would feel telling those jokes to her face. It’s not big, it’s not clever, and I’m definitely not laughing.

Iceland's gone and done it again...

First the cash, now the ash. But perhaps society should stop relying on fragile technology for everything...

Alex Evans Opinion Editor We think we’re pretty smart, don’t we? With our satellites, our air travel and our internet. We like to lord it over our predecessors – ha, they used to live only with a candle, a book they couldn’t read and a mild case of rickets. Now look at us – I’m watching Jeremy Clarkson do some crashing that happened six years ago (on Dave) and showing my Nan a picture of myself falling down the stairs (on facebook). What an age we live in.

All it takes, however, is a little bit of Mother Nature’s wrath to make us wake up and realise that we’re living a fragile existence. That the fancy technology and oh-so-clever infrastructure on which we base our modern lives is, in fact, prone to total collapse at any moment.

I’m talking, of course, about the tongue-twisting, plane-scuppering volcano, Eyjafjallajokull, which may still be pumping thousands of tonnes of acrid ash into the atmosphere as

you read this.

I pray that it isn’t. Already, the volcano is costing the UK aeronautical industry close to £30million per day, or over £100million globally. Were it to continue for weeks or even months, the losses for the industry would be so catastrophic – especially in a recession – that it’s difficult to see how all but the biggest businesses could even survive the crisis. Dark days indeed.

We’ve become too dependent on technology Did we prepare for this eventuality when we were building airports across the globe for billions of pounds a pop?

Did we ever anticipate, as we started to lean on air travel for essential business dealings as well as throwaway frivolities (like Europa League fixtures abroad), that we were setting ourselves up for a fall?

No. Just like we didn’t anticipate that our vital satellites might start being destroyed by all the debris we left floating in our atmosphere (true

story), or how our increasing reliance on the car, an invention that converts non-renewable fuel into toxic emissions might incur drawbacks at some point down the road.

It’s not too difficult to see that as a society, we have a problem. We’ve become far too dependent on our technology and our infrastructure to get by. We assume that everything will always work, that our iPhones will always let us check our emails, that our sat-navs will always point the way – that our aeroplanes will always fly. Just a few months ago, I laughed, perhaps coldly, at the news that several trains had gotten stuck inside the Channel Tunnel, their electronics ravaged by condensation caused by leaving freezing Britain for sunny France (via the artificially-heated tunnel).

Perhaps in the future, once the dust has settled, we’ll move away from our excessive dependence. Businesses might refrain from sending staff overseas at the drop of a hat and politicians might stop zipping all over the continent at the taxpayer’s expense.

Footballers could even stop flying fifty miles for away fixtures. But more

importantly, we might stop to think about the consequences of nature's potential to destroy us all, and learn to plan for the worst.

Perhaps once the dust has settled, we can move past these excesses Our modern, civilised society is still in its infancy. We need to ensure that we can comfortably cope with whatever nature can throw at us. Our power stations should be built to withstand earthquakes, tornados, nuclear holocaust or, yes, alien attack. There is always a way to cope, we just need to make sure we have those solutions before the next natural disaster strikes, not fudge a compromised response in the aftermath.

Until then, our businessmen, politicians and footballers will have to stay indoors or stuff into overpriced, overcrowded buses and trains. Well, even ash clouds have a silver lining.

freewords EDITORIAL

Est. 1972

The week we met Gordon... AND Nick!

Well, it’s all been going on this week. I met a potential Prime Minister on Monday and (for the second time) the actual Prime Minister on Wednesday – a big week for me and politicians. I’ve still yet to meet Dave, but oh well.

Yes, Nick Clegg was in the building at the beginning of the week doing a Q&A session with the people of Cardiff, and Gordon Brown was answering questions at the Swalec Stadium two days later. I rather liked both of them, and that’s half my trouble: every time I speak to someone new, I change my mind as to who I’m going to vote for. Maybe I should just be completely impartial and vote for Cameron… or not.

I thought Nick did a good job in answering the students’ questions. My personal favourite line was this: “That is complete bilge.” Bilge is a word that is used far too infrequently, I have since decided. He also spent a long time afterwards giving interviews, not only to the big-timers (Sky, BBC and ITV), but also to our very own homegrown channel, CUTV, and to none other than yours truly. I thought he was lovely, actually, and very charismatic. I know he was probably just trying to get us all voting Lib Dem – I’m not stupid – but I still liked him. I heard he’s slept with over 30 women as well, and you’ve got to give him some respect for that...

I've met Gordon Brown twice now, and I reckon that one-to-ones are his forte. I think he, like Nick, is quite charming. There’s just something about politicians isn’t there? I guess that’s why they’re politicians. We were lucky enough to get a private five minutes with him and, I have to say, he was extremely personable.

Speaking of the General Election, we conducted an equally important election of our own this week. We elected the new heads of Xpress, CUTV and Quench under the new system for the first time. For those of you that don’t know, this year was the first year that these jobs were not elected by a cross-campus ballot. The winning candidates were instead voted for by their colleagues within student media at an all-student media EGM – which, I’m pleased to say, ran without a hitch.

Thank you to everyone who took part, and congratulations to the successful candidates: Dom Kehat, incoming Quench Editor; Luke Franks, incoming Xpress Station Manager; and Will Viles, incoming CUTV Controller.

Corrections and Clarifications:

The article ‘Thou shalt not touch kids’ on page 9 of Issue 920 was written by Jack Parker, not Jack Perkins.

The vox pop by Jack Green which featured on page 14 of the Mephedrone article in Issue 920 was actually sent in by a Christopher Scott and does not reflect the views of Jack Green whatsoever.

10 ELECTION 2010

gairrhydd | POLITICS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY ARPIL 26 2010

Policies not politicians There are many factors that affect someone's vote, but should you vote for the leaders, or their parties' policies? Yaz Langley considers the options the last General Election Clegg has Unless you’ve been living in a hole moulded himself as the new kid in – or the valleys – you will no doubt Policy Factfile be sick at the sight of Gordo, Cleggy and ‘Just call me Dave’.

Probably particularly Dave. However, as Election Day approaches and campaigning becomes more frantic it’s easy to forget that we’re actually voting for parties, not people.

32%

of people agree with the Green Party on crime

Although the elected leader will obviously become the whole country’s leader, in reality they hold very little personal power. It’s the cabinet (who we elect) who will effectively set the agenda for the issues that matter, such as tuition fees, taxes and foreign policy. Theoretically, Ronald McDonald could be our new Prime Minister and it wouldn’t make much of a difference to how the country is run. This is demonstrated by the lack of government policy changes when Brown took over from Blair - it didn’t matter who was fronting the Labour Party, what mattered that the party retained power. Yet, would Labour have still won in the first place if the less charismatic Brown had been the one campaigning?

29%

of people agree with the Lib Dems on the economy

The Liberal Democrats are suddenly no longer the underdog in this election, possibly due to their policies or hope for genuine change (and not Cameron’s version of it). However, perhaps it is more simplistic: because he’s the shiny new toy. For years we’ve become accustomed to blocking out the drone of Brown and Cameron (even their names are mundane) while dismissively laughing at these Liberal Democrats who think they have a chance. However, since

April 6 Gordon Brown

town who might just go onto have the last laugh.

The catalyst for the rise in Lib Dem fortunes was last week’s firstever televised British politics debate. Opinion polls conducted in its wake suggested that Clegg came up trumps while Cameron spluttered and stumbled his way through responses that answered nothing. I’m not naive enough to think I’m the first to draw this comparison, but it could well follow in the footsteps of the notorious Nixon v Kennedy debate, which saw Kennedy rise to victory. Many believe it was this appearance on television that won Kennedy the election as his youth, charisma and eloquence won out over an older Nixon.

We’ve become a society hell-bent on electing those we ‘like’ without actually listening to them and ignoring the fact that this is Parliament, not a popularity contest. The news is full of stories about SamCam’s latest outfit, the fact that Gordon managed to raise a smile and Nick’s wealthy upbringing. Depressingly, one tabloid even commended Clegg on his choice of a yellow tie, because that’s clearly the biggest issue at stake in the election for our future government. We need to ignore the colour palettes of the parties and their accents and simply focus

Which parties' policies voters agree with when voters chose based on policies, without knowing which party they belonged to*

• 27.3% • 18.10% • 17.4% • 16.5% • 10.8% • 9.8%

Green Party Lib Dems Labour Tories UKIP BNP

Seats won in 2005 general election

• 62 • 349 • 210 • 25

Lib Dems Labour Tories Other

14%

Current opinion poll**

• 31% • 27% • 32% • 10%

Lib Dems

of people agree with UKIP immigration issues

Labour Tories Other

TOP: Nigel Farage – UKIP leader MIDDLE: Caroline Lucas – on track to win the Greens' first seat in Brighton Pavilion RIGHT: Nick Griffin – BNP leader *Source: voteforpolicies.org.uk correct at time of print **Source: BBC poll of polls correct at time of print

April 7 The

on hard policies.

It was not only Clegg’s composure in the televised debate, but the fact that he offered a young, refreshing alternative that appealed to disillusioned and first-time voters. Although Cameron is actually only a year older his policies are more outdated than all three candidates put together, while Brown is well on his way to retirement at the ripe old age of 59. Yet, however tempting it is to vote for the one you’d rather go down the pub with, you’ve got to ask yourself who’s policies you identify with most, as it's the policies

announces that the General Elec-

three main party leaders

April 12 Labour

tion will be held on May 6, and

clash at prime minister's

are the first of the major

officially asks the Queen

questions for the last

parties launch their

of the prettiest things we've

to dissolve Parliament.

time this term before

manifesto, entitled 'A future

seen this year, but lacks any

Parliament is dissolved.

fair for all'.

real substance.

April 13 The Tories launch their manifesto. It's one

ELECTION 2010 11

gairrhydd | POLITICS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

What will happen in a hung parliament?

Greg Rees Reporter With papers and pollsters predicting that Britain will be in the grip of a hung parliament come May 7, it’s worth examining what that actually means.

For those who don't know, a hung parliament is what occurs when no political party wins an overall majority at a general election. In Britain, the magic number is 326 seats, yet if recent polls are anything to go by, no party is likely to come close. Multiple polls have shown the Conservatives in the lead – with several showing the Liberal Democrats out in front - however no poll suggest any party will win by a majority.

A hung parliament is therefore looking quite likely for the first time since 1974, when a February election produced no clear winners: of 623 seats, Wilson’s Labour won 301 and Heath’s Conservatives 297. Failed attempts by incumbent PM Heath to form a coalition meant that Wilson went on to lead a minority government. However it was still necessary to call another election in October

believes that other parties could form an effective coalition. Plans are underway to ensure that the Queen’s powers are made clear. It is extremely unlikely that the Queen would intervene anyway, though a precedent was set in Canada in 2008, when GovernorGeneral Jean (effectively acting on the Queen’s behalf) allowed a suspension of parliament, which saved minoritygovernment PM Stephen Harper from facing a no-confidence motion.

It can be argued that a hung parliament actually allows for greater democracy than a majority does. Bringing other parties into the fold allows their voices to be heard, although this will lead to a lot of bickering which can lead to uncertainity in areas such as the economy (Nick Clegg's victory in the first debate –which increased the likelihood of a hung parliament – caused the pound to drop against both the dollar and the euro).

Whatever the outcome of the election, it’s fairly unlikely to be the end of the world. Yet it’s probably safe to say that, while some things are best hung (paintings, pheasants, porn stars), a parliament is not usually one of them.

1974 to ensure the majority needed for strong government.

The obvious negative of a hung parliament is that no party has the authority to legislate strongly. Without a majority, whoever leads the government will have to barter with other parties in order to secure votes in the Commons. This means that the price for allegiance over parliamentary Bills could be concessions on policies that prove highly unpopular with the public. Additionally, despite talk of Lib Dem coalitions, it may be that whichever of the big two parties form the backbone of the government will have to ally with some of the smaller parties. This could mean the nationalists or, in worst-case scenarios, more extremist parties. The price for forcing Bills through could therefore be high indeed. Add to this the fact that the economy may suffer further if Britain is perceived as a country with weak government, and we could be in a similar situation to the worse aspects of the mid-1970s.

Although she has never called on these powers, the Queen has the ability to prevent a sitting PM from calling a 'snap' secound election if she

Is there really any point in voting?

Does a disproportional electoral system mean that we are wasting our votes?

Greg Rees Reporter It’s a wonderful thing that we have the right to vote in the UK, and not voting would be an insult to every person who campaigned – and died – to gain us that right.

However if one looks closely at the system it seems apparent that, as so many disgruntled people seem to feel, there’s no statistical point in voting. The main reason for this, aside from dissatisfaction with politics in general, is the way the British voting system works.

In the First-Past-The-Post system, the party with the most seats wins the election. Not the most votes. Indeed, a party can win the most votes and still not up win the election, as happened in 1974. When a party wins the largest share of the vote, it is often the case that it doesn’t come anywhere close to winning over 50%, yet still gets a majority in the Commons. This happened in 2005, when Labour scored 36% of the vote yet 55% of the seats. This system is possibly the most frustrating

April 14 The Lib

in heartland seats.

South Wales, from Swansea to Newport, is the red, beating heart of Labour support in Wales, with a little blot of yellow in the middle. My home seat of Caerphilly has a Labour majority of over 15,000. If you want to vote for anybody other than Labour, there’s very little point as, short of unprecedented change in popular opinion, your individual vote will change nothing.

The Conservatives may currently be the second party nationally, but as many Valleys people still retain a ‘Maggie! Out!’ mentality they often trail a distant third or fourth. The Lib Dems are making gains, but are unlikely to win more than one extra South Welsh seat, Swansea West.

It often falls to Plaid Cymru to take on the runners-up role; despite doing well in local elections, they often do badly nationally. .

There is now talk of proportional representation being introduced. This would mean that total votes, not total seats, would determine the shape of the government. At first glance that

seems perfect. Yet this change could have serious repercussions.

If the last election had been under proportional representation, no party would have had a majority, meaning that the government would likely have been a coalition. Although a government made up of the best from every party is enticing, a coalition would potentially mean that parties do deals with their sworn enemies, risking the alienation of their supporters.

Additionally, if every vote counts, then some very divisive characters could be elected to Parliament. The most obvious example is the BNP. The party has gained a lot of support in some places, despite its extreme unpopularity with many. The BNP failed to win a seat at the last election, but polled over 0.7% of the vote. That amount would have translated to four or five seats in a proportional Parliament. Welsh, Scottish and Irish parties combined polled nearly 5%, which would have increased their seats.

Another proposed system is one akin to the London mayoral elections: supplementary voting, where voters

April 15 ITV hosts the

Dems launch their mani-

first ever live leaders' debate.

festo. With some calling

Clegg is voted the winner. Nice.

it simple, others just plain

Brown makes a comment about

boring, the manifesto fo-

Cameron's face. Nicer. Cameron

cuses on a 'fairer Britain.'

makes up a black man. Fantastic.

can give first and second choices. Yet the second choice is often obsolete, as it is only necessary if no candidate receives an overall first choice majority; second choice votes are only then counted for the top two first choice candidates. Should the choices be extended to third preference and beyond (like the Student Elections), then the results could become highly convoluted and delay the democratic process.

My own suggestion would be to have two votes, one for a local candidate and one on a national basis. On a local level, this would allow a vote for the best candidate for your constituency, who could potentially be from a different party than the one you support in terms of national politics. As polls show, politics is currently wide open, and mixed votes would be likely as ‘tribal’ politics starts to decline. This could cause a presidential system, but let’s not kid ourselves: policies count, but it’s already a personality game, as the televised debates show.

And yes, you should still vote in May. You could make a difference.

Perhaps.

April 21 David Cameron is hit by an egg.

Unlike Prescott, he fails to throw a punch.

Donate your vote Natalia Popova Reporter

If you do not know who to vote for in the upcoming general elections, you can now donate your vote to someone in Afghanistan, Bangladesh or Ghana. www.giveyourvote.org is encouraging individuals in the UK who do not know who to vote for to vote on behalf of someone in a developing country.

All UK voters have to do is sign up through the website and the organisation takes care of the rest. The teams on the ground in the partner countries are making the local people aware of the possibility to vote through someone in the UK and the main party’s manifestos, translated into the local languages.

Five days before the UK election, ‘Global UK Vote’ days will be held in each of the countries when participants can send an SMS to a local number registering their vote. There will also be one or two physical polling stations in each country. On May 5, you simply receive a text message from the Give Your Vote team saying on whose behalf you are voting and which party your counterpart would like you to vote for.

The three countries were chosen on the basis of existing ties between them and the UK or other powers from the outside: Afghanistan has been pledged £127 million per year between 2009 and 2013 in aid by the UK government, Bangladesh is suffering already from climate change.

The topics the project are mostly focused on are all the party’s pledges regarding foreign and environmental policies. So far the campaign has been backed by Nobel Prize winner and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, broadcaster and human rights activist Lauren Booth and Ken Banks, founder of kiwanja.net.

Speaking to gair rhydd, May Abdalla from Give Your Vote said: “So far we have received thousands of text messages and predictions range from hundreds of thousands into millions.

It is not all about numbers however, if one person does it, we have already made an impact. Our aim is to raise awareness of democracy. We hold wars over democracy nationally, so why not take it to the global level?”

Giveyourvote.org is a project by Equality Now, a transnational network of organisations who aim to give everyone a say in issues that affect them.

April 22 The three leaders clash for the second time on Sky's leaders' debates.

12 ELECTION 2010

gairrhydd | POLITICS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Tories under the spotlight

gair rhydd continues its cross-examination of each of the major parties, and Elizabeth Blockley has a look at the Conservatives

F

rom riding high in the opinion polls only a few months ago, David Cameron and his Conservative Party have slipped in public popularity, particularly after last week’s TV debate when Nick Clegg proved himself to be the new media darling. However, this election is not about who is the most charismatic or has the funniest campaign posters, it’s about policy.

This election should be a return to people considering what the individual parties really stand for beneath all the political spin. Much of the population is disillusioned by the increasing state intervention of the Labour government of the past thirteen years, myself included. The Tory Party has traditionally represented an ideology which places more power with the individual and safeguards freedom of choice.

Modern voters are often put off by the association of the Tories with Thatcher, but the modern Conservatives are a far more centrist party than their 1980s counterpart. Even if I was intuitively Labour-inclined, as a voter I would be so jaded by their recent government record that I would be employing some tactical voting to get Gordon out of Number 10. And, whilst I am genuinely pleased that British elections may no longer be a two-horse race, I am too wary of several Liberal Democrat policies to be supporting the underdog.

It is impossible to expect any one political party to fulfil all the changes that individually we would like to see. One has to be realistic and vote with the policies they can most identify with. Call me naïve, but I’m impressed with both David Cameron

DAVE: Taxi for David and the Conservative manifesto for change.

In the debate last week, one measure that particularly stood out was Cameron’s pledge to cut MPs’ pay by 5 percent and freeze it at this level for several years as a public apology for the expenses scandal. As opposed to the relatively vague offers the other parties made, it seemed the Conservatives had a solid policy on ‘cleaning up politics’. Contrary to popular belief, Cameron’s stance on the British welfare state is strong and far from

wanting to reduce the NHS. Instead, he promises to cut bureaucracy in both the NHS and police force, allowing people to do their jobs instead of their paperwork.

In foreign affairs the Conservatives are the only party to provide a satisfactory solution to the problems that immigration has posed in recent years.

As opposed to the ideas of points systems thrown around by the Lib Dems and Labour, the Tories offer a cap on immigration, like many Commonwealth countries such as Canada and

Australia, to ensure that the British system is not overstretched.

In addition to this, they promise to change the law so that an event as patently undemocratic as Britain’s signing of the Lisbon Treaty cannot occur again. Even supporters of Britain’s increasingly inclusive position towards the European Union must admit that Labour’s method of progression was inherently wrong and should have been subject to a referendum, as previously promised by Brown. This in particular was a huge betrayal of

public trust.

With regards to the economy, the Conservatives are the only party currently promising to tackle the massive deficit head-on. Clegg and Brown are both failing to tackle the deficit and appear to be promising to increase spending on everything, which seems naïve and unrealistic. Many have criticised Cameron for being hesitant on promising to increase spending on the police force and education, but at least in him we have found a politician willing to be honest and admit that savings have to be made somewhere.

What is incomprehensible to me is why people assume having Brown throw money at a system will automatically improve it. Cameron’s policy to reform and cut waste in order to get results where it counts makes far more sense. Rather than making promises to please voters which will later be broken, Cameron is approaching this election with an admirably pragmatic attitude.

There are lots of reasons to vote Conservative on the May 6: the promise to reform Westminster; savings on National Insurance for those earning under £35,000; a pledge to maintain a healthy scepticism of the EU; more personal choice regarding healthcare and schools; the fact that social mobility was better under the Conservative governments of the twentieth century than the Labour government of the last thirteen years, to name just a few.

But more than anything else, a vote for the Conservative Party is a vote for retaining control over your own life. British people do not need their hands held by another Labour government in every aspect of their lives: a vote for the Conservatives is a vote for independence.

ELECTIONWATCH...THE BEST OF THE ELECTIONS SO FAR

Top 5: Election moments so far...

1. David Cameron gets egged

Let's face it. Any politician getting egged is a bonus. It's just a shame that Dave didn't do a Prescott on us.

2. Nick Clegg upsets the odds

Who'd have thought that the election could change so much with the first debate?

Nick Clegg's impressive performance makes predictions that little bit harder

3. Twitter twat

Stuart MacLennan, Labour candidate for Moray, manages to cause twitter suicide by being deselectred for calling Cameron a "twat" and Clegg a "bastard".

4. Labour poster fail

The Labour Party portray David Cameron as Gene Hunt from Ashes to Ashes with the caption 'Don't let him take Britain back to the 1980s'. The Conservatives manage to flip it around by changing the caption to 'Fire up the Quattro, it's time for change'.

CAMERON: He used to play on the on the right wing, now he plays in the centre.

NICK: 30 women. 30 women??!

5. Gordon Brown kicks it off

After all the speculation Gordon Brown finally revealed that the election would be on May 6. It could only really go downhill from then...

POLITICS 13

gairrhydd | POLITICS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Mr Ambassador, you're wrong

This world, Following last week's interview with Ron Prosor, the this week

Israeli Ambassador, Adam Johannes issues a reply Pole position to the fire-power of the F-16s, Apache helicopter gunships, Merkava tanks and naval gunships with which Israel is equipped.

The condemnations of Hamas are hypocritical from Western politicians, if the West wants to end violence, they must stop arming Israel and pressurise Israel to end the occupation. Palestinians have very little avenue for justice – they are denied human rights and the ‘international community’ refuses to take serious action to guarantee their rights.

Israel must renounce violence

W

e often hear this question posed: ‘But surely Israel has the right to defend

itself?’

Someone who occupies another’s land, who lays siege to an entire people, who disenfranchises millions of their basic human rights, cannot claim to be acting in self-defence. We should ask instead: ‘Do Palestinians have the right to defend themselves?’

For it is Palestinians who are denied basic human rights, subjected to the longest ongoing military occupation of modern times, driven from the land where they lived for generations, who constitute one of the largest refugee populations in the world and whose freedom of movement is restricted.

Palestine's right to exist In a strange state of affairs, as the possibility of a viable Palestinian state becomes remote, the problem is defined as Palestinians refusal to recognise Israel’s right to exist.

In the late 60s, the PLO (Palestinian Liberation Organization) put forward a visionary idea that Israeli Jews and Palestinian Arabs should and could live together as one, secular democratic state with full equal rights. The call for the abolition of Israel as a political entity was consistently misrepresented as a call for genocide. Having no means to achieve the vision, in 1988, the PLO ‘recognised’ Israel, and moved towards a more modest aim of building a viable Palestinian state on 22% of historical Palestine incorporating the West Bank, Gaza and East Jerusalem.

Today, Hamas is often criticised for failing to recognise ‘Israel’s right to exist’. Hamas make a distinction between recognising the fact of Israel’s existence, and its right to exist.

Hamas reject Israel’s right to exist for two reasons: firstly, for Palestinians to say Israel has a right to exist is to say that it was right that their soci-

ety was destroyed in 1948. Secondly, they observe that the PLO recognised Israel, but nothing happened. No Palestinian state emerged. Therefore they suggest the real question is Israel and the West recognising the right of a Palestinian state to exist.

No state has a right to exist as a racist state Imagine if Britain defined itself as a white state, if black citizens were barred from living on the majority of the land, if the mainstream parties had attempted to ban black political parties, if all the black citizens had been sacked and banned from working on the railways, if black school teachers were vetted by MI6 and sacked if they taught black history for fear that this would undermine the white state.

One might regard such a set-up as profoundly racist.

Israel defines itself as a Jewish state. For one-fifth of its population who are Palestinian, the remnant who were not ethnically cleansed in 1948, substitute the word black for Arab and white state for Jewish state and this is their experience. In Israel, there is a distinction between citizenship and nationality. Both Jews and Arabs can have citizenship, but only Jews can have nationality and enjoy full civil rights, Arab citizens experience discrimination that renders them third class citizens. The civil rights movement within Israel argues that for Israel to be democratic, it should redefine itself from being a Jewish state towards being a ‘state of all its citizens’.

War is peace In 2006, following their victory in democratic elections, Hamas offered an olive branch of peace to Israel in the form of a two-state solution: In return for Israel fully withdrawing to its 1967 borders, they stated willingness

to enter into a ten-year truce for negotiations on outstanding issues. Israel and the West rejected the peace offer and responded by imposing economic sanctions, tightening the blockade of Gaza, and arming a section of Fatah to stage a coup against the democratically elected administration resulting in civil war. Israel also kidnapped Palestinian MPs and Ministers and assassinated Hamas leaders.

In 2005, Israel withdrew 7,200 settlers from Gaza, but moved 32,000 illegal settlers into the West Bank.

Disengagement was not liberation for the people of Gaza as Israel imposed an almost total blockade reducing the population to near starvation and economic collapse. Gaza is the biggest open air prison on earth.

Currently Israel is still expanding settlements, seizing more Palestinian land and building an apartheid wall that on completion will incorporate over a third of the West Bank into Israel, and is likely to create thousands of Palestinian refugees.

During the Oslo Peace Process it became clear that what Israel and the West had in mind was not a viable Palestinian state, but small unconnected patches of land, economically dependent on Israel, with no armed forces but surrounded by the Israeli army.

When Palestinians reject this it is said that they reject peace.

Homemade rockets vs helicopter gunships In response to occupation, the first homemade rocket was fired across the Israeli border in October 2001; the first fatality occurred in March 2007. Up to November 2008, 13 Israelis were killed by rockets. In contrast, between September 2000 and the end of November 2008 nearly 5000 Palestinians were killed, more than half of them in Gaza. The rockets have now reached more distant targets, but in military terms they are ineffectual, compared

Between December 27 2008 and January 18 2009, the Israeli military fell like wolves upon Gaza, systematically targeting the infrastructure of the society. They bombed hospitals, ambulances, housing apartments, university buildings and schools resulting in the death of 1400 people. Almost a third were children.

In Gaza, Palestinians still live a desperate life, caught like rats in a trap in the biggest open air prison on earth, surviving in the rubble of destroyed homes. Many families are now forced to live on grass and scavenge in rubbish tips for food. With almost half the agricultural land destroyed during the war, eight out of ten are now dependent on aid to live.

Rendez-vous of victory This conflict is not rooted in religion, but politics. It is not the case that Jews and Arabs cannot live in peace because of some innate religious conflict. For centuries, Jewish culture flourished in the Arab world at a time when Jews were the victims of persecution in Christian Europe.

The core problem is that Israel was set up on a land that was already occupied by another society, and was founded upon the destruction of that society and expulsion of the indigenous people of the area, who today live under occupation or as third class citizens within Israel.

One cannot turn back the clock and undo what happened in 1948. The solution six decades later is to find a way that Israeli Jews and Palestinian Arabs can live with full equality in the region. All Palestinians ask is the right to enjoy the same human and civil rights as you or I enjoy: Palestine in chains will never be at peace.

Cardiff Stop the War Coalition is a broad-based grassroots coalition of anti-war, trade union, social justice, human rights, anti-rascist and community groups. To get involved contact: cardifftroopsout@gmail.com

P

residential elections will be held in Poland on June 20 to replace Lech Kaczynski, who was killed in a plane crash.

The poll date was set by acting President Bronislaw Komorowski (pictured). Komorowski, along with the late President's twin brother, Jaroslaw, are expected to be the main candidates.

Komorowski, who is also speaker of the lower house, is way ahead in the polls. If no-one gets more than 50% of the vote, a run-off will be held.

Team Africa

F

our Saharan desert states have decided to open a joint command headquarters in Algeria to counter the growing threat of Al-Qaeda.

The Joint Military Staff Committee of Algeria, Niger, Mali and Mauritania will move towards joint operations against terrorism, kidnappings and trafficking.

Militants have previously exploited a lack of co-ordination in the region, evading capture by simply crossing a border. Last year, Edwin Dyer was kidnapped and killed on the border between Mali and Niger and two Spaniards are still being held hostage.

Dam the lot

A

consortium of nine companies has won the right to build a hydro-electric dam on a tributary of the Amazon in Brazil.

Officials claim that the dam on the Xingu River is crucial for development, however many critics claim that it will result in thousands of people being displaced and that the ecosystem will be irrevocably damaged.

Environmentalists claim that Brazil should be looking to increase efficiancy, but the government believes that, to become a viable economy, all power sources need to be used.

14 FEATURES

gairrhydd | FEATURES@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Students of Cardiff- w

As Cardiff students descend on Swansea for this year's Varsity, Featu

I

t's that time of year again. As Varsity season comes around, it's time to renew the rivalry with Swansea University by dusting off your favourite insults and re-asserting Cardiff superiority.

Old favourites include "My dad works for your dad" and "Give us a D, give us an E, give us a U. What do you get? Into Swansea!" Whilst the insults are certainly immature, the friendly banter creates an exciting atmosphere for the match.

For the past three years, our team has enjoyed a home advantage, and the Cardiff crowd have dominated pro-

ceedings. This year though, things are going to be a little bit different. Instead of the masses of Swansea descending on Cardiff to drink the city dry before heading to Cardiff Arms Park, we are taking the action to them.

The annual Varsity match hasn't taken place in Swansea since 2002, when Cardiff won 21-3 at St Helen's.

After four years at Bridgend and three years at Cardiff Arms Park, the action has returned to Swansea, with this year's match taking place at the Liberty Stadium.

Whilst the rugby team will be focusing on how to beat Swansea for a

third year in a row, many of us will be working out what to do with ourselves in Swansea.

You could support Cardiff and watch the other sports teams in their Varsity matches. Alternatively, you might want to make the most of the opportunity to explore the treats Swansea has to offer.

From the beauty of Mumbles to the drinking opportunities at Wind Street (a.k.a Wine Street), Features is on hand to give you the lowdown on all the places to visit before you make your way to the big event...

y a B a e s Swan

...

Mumbles Beach sea Beach and an d an Sw , et ch ck ea bu B Marine out your a Bay, so get lan Bay, Jersey se ag B an , Sw ch ea in B ith n w Aberavo n be found ul coastlines ca riences one of all these beautif ndcastles! a Bay also expe sa e se m an so Sw g , this, in ty ild et pr bu etres. In light of being very spade and start of about ten m that apart from e y go ng ow sl ra kn ou t vi um no ob im ht t You mig You can' with a max a tidal lagoon. es in the world of ng n ra io al ct tid tru t ns es the larg d for the co been put forwar e. a proposal has fact all the sam g in t. st s an intere ill worth a visi st t bu , ay B visit this, but it' ff di ar C as od go Arguably not as

SNAKECHARMERS: Adding some cheer to your day

Wind Street

For many, Vars ity is an excuse fact, we felt it to get highly in was only fair to ebriated. In lig ht of this bring to your at tionately know tention Wind St n by many as reet, affec'Wine Street.' info, Wind Stre According to et is 'a prime ar www.swansea. ea for the serio Packed with tre us bar-hopper.' ndy wine bars , restaurants an pretty much ev d clubs, Wind erything you co Street has uld ask for if yo day. If you have u're up for an al decided to fors cohol-based ake the official Lash for a nigh Varsity after pa t out in Swanse rty at The a, Wind Street club, Lava Loun is also home to ge and Revolut Play nightion.

The Chocolate Factory Did you know Swansea has a chocolate factory? No? Well now you do. If you head to the Chocolate Factory, you will have a guided tour where you can see the whole chocolate making process. There are also lots of tasting opportunities! It's recommended you book your tour in advance as they can book up.

Features would like to state that Swansea Chocolate Factory was not featured in the film Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and accepts no responsibility if Swansea Chocolate Factory looks nothing like our picture...

FEATURES 15

gairrhydd | FEATURES@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

welcome to Swansea!

ures shows you some of the highlights of Wales's second best city

Mumbles

rved a box all Mumbles dese lt fe e w outh , ay B in of Oysterm rt of Swansea ere's the the ru Th Pier. .

Technically pa r.. es fe bl of um to e Victorian M has so much th it ith as w , f, el ch its ea to bles B Bay, including beautiful Mum s of Swansea ew vi e's ic m ra Castle and the no pa the other. Ther the pier offers d Port Talbot on d an an nt de Built in 1898, si ra e au st on arcade, re ghthouse on an amusement g in the Mumbles Li ud cl in ex ent compl also an amusem walk down the y. want to take a le al ht ig m Meru bowling yo t d home to The e Varsity spiri tion of pubs an tra To get into th en nc co its r as. ,' famous fo et Dylan Thom 'Mumbles Mile ng haunt of po ki in dr d rte po maid, a re

Free Museums Fancy incorporating some learning into your Swansea experience? Running low on funds?

Swansea Museum is a 'fascinating treasure house of Swansea life' according to its website. It also houses an Egypt Centre - a museum of Egyptian antiquities. The £38 million National Waterfront Museum (pictured below) tells the story of Wales' industrial and maritime heritage and the role it has played in shaping today's economy and society. Entry to all of these museums is completely free!

Liberty

r e w o G e Th

and Counpart of the City en be ly al ci fi only of enough to be The Gower has at's plenty long th t bu , 96 19 since sea! ty of Swansea lights of Swan s, ide to the high gu r e to lots of cave ou m in ho is ed er ud ow incl G e th , so , ne tli ds awar its coas have Blue Flag Renowned for of the beaches ur Fo s. he ac be bays and ... er for hot weather pied – the Gow fingers crossed story buffs occu hi ep nze ro ke B to e ty th en om pl fr es There's also s, standing ston me to six castle red tomb. be am ch c Peninsula is ho hi lit y restored Neo Age, and a partl

Stadium

Wherev Home to er you end up visiting th d 10 2005 e Ospreys ru gby tea uring your tim . With a m e in Sw Wales. c and Sw a p a city o ansea, h Th ansea C ere it Charlata e stadium has s f 20,532, the stadium y FC, the Libe is where you w een som ns and.. rty Stad il is . e R b th ichard F ig name Obviou ium ope l end up! s in its fi e third-largest ned on know th sly the Liberty leeshman. p r s u t r p five yea J er S rs – The ose-built stadiu uly fair acti e will be a fun tadium is whe Who, E m in fair ther re the r on befo lt on John ugby ac e to re Cardiff , The tion wil take Sw the game starts o? The gates l be tak o ansea d p ! e T n h a e in t 5pm, s n soak g own... p la ce, up the p o arty atm get there early but did you osphere fo and (ho r some funpefully) watch

COLUMNIST 17

gairrhydd | OPINION@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

e b o T . . . .

K N A R F id le Or the

n k li O li F r a f o s g in rant

n

'Every little helps' N

othing about politics this week – I’m sure you’ve already had your fill of the election in our special election section (good isn’t it?). God knows I could write something – everyone’s been in town this week haven’t they? Nick and Gordon getting involved with us mere Cardiff students. Who’d have thought?

But no, politics is off the table.

Which does, it must be said, put me in a little bit of a pickle. Well not a pickle, I hate those conundrums. A conundrum most devilish (before you ask, I’m working on bringing back 18th century speak). You see, there comes about, at this feared time of year, a terrible and most deadly affliction: writer’s block, the scoundrel (see?).

We all suffer from it from time to time, but it has this horrible habit of rearing its ugly head just before crunch time. I’m sorry that that sentence was so riddled with clichés, but as you might be able to tell, I, too, have got it bad.

The coming weeks are, for most of us, the most highly stressed of the academic year. Exams and essays are looming, as is the great question mark of the summer – a worry perhaps greatest for final years, such as myself, who have actually got to become a real person next year. So the last thing you want is the frustrating apathy that, as the pressure mounts, screws with our brains until we are about as much use as a jet engine in an ash cloud.

So how do we fix it? Its clearly a major problem: after writing that last sentence, I started humming the song ‘Fly into the Danger Zone’, then proceeded finding it on Spotify, which has now got me listening to soundtrack music from ‘80s films. Huey Lewis and The News’ The Power of Love (from Back to the Future) is a capital T tune, by the way. Oh god, it’s happening again.

Right, one cup of tea later, and we’re back at to the heart of the matter: how to cure writer’s block. Okay, first option, and it’s a bit of a curveball. Embrace your procrastination – in fact, take it to the next level. Can’t stop watching Glee/Lost/other US cable show online? Well then my friend, pull up a chair, break out the popcorn, and go mental on Megavideo. Goggle

your square little eyes out. After all, as soon as you hit 74 minutes – bam.

Locked out. Queue massive frustration and (particularly if it’s five minutes before the obligatory end-of-episode Lost cliffhanger) perhaps a little bit of a cry. Serves you right. Get back to work, slacker.

Didn’t work? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Turns out there are other streaming sites – which makes sense, it’s a big market. Capitalism eh? Fret not, for I have well and truly cracked it this time. I’ve been doing a bit of reading up on the subject, and some professional-sounding psychology types reckon that a good technique is creating a productive environment that has worked before. It seems writing in the same place or at the same time of day as a past productive spell can cause your grey matter to go mental and get you all creative. The same applies with listening to music. So, if you wrote your last essay listening to Justin Beiber, hang yourself. (Please don’t - although you should be pretty ashamed, he’s terrible).

Jokes aside, you get the picture.

Worth a try, right? Well, probably not actually. When it comes to inspiration, I wouldn’t be heading to a psychologist any time soon. In my unfortunately extensive experience (long story, another column, another time), the scientific approach to producing great ideas is utterly useless unless it involves being hit it by an apple or being in the bath. Actually the latter of those sounds rather nice…

Oh for god’s sake, it happened again. Okay, so a bath was unfeasible (many of you may not be able to tell from the little snapshot up there – look, that’s me! – I’m excessively tall) so went for the shower option. I have to say however, that of all the approaches so far, this seems the most productive: I feel noticeably refreshed, active, and my hair smells great.

If I return to my earlier point about psychologists, there is actually an important point to be made. A close friend of mine has been having similar problems recently, finding it very difficult to concentrate, and so becoming stressed and upset. It rapidly develops into a vicious cycle with serious academic and emotional consequences if not dealt with – so this friend of mine

went to seek help at a psychologist.

They proposed the idea – you might even call it ‘zany’ - that, and I quote (kind of): “every little helps.” Yes, it seems that a Tesco slogan is now sound scientific practice. Brilliant. I can imagine it now: “Doctor, how can I avoid failing my degree and slipping into depression?”

“Every little helps. Simples.” I’m fairly sure the doctor in question is not actually a meerkat, just to clarify.

He’s an a actual doctor – although clearly not much of a mathematician, as tackling work in 15 minute spells, as suggested, is not going to get you much done on deadline day. So no,

the doctors are useless. As are all the tried-and-tested approaches, the old wives’ tales, the advice your friend gives you.

You see the problem suffered by this time of year is the same that befalls anyone when they are about to face a challenge – simple self-doubt.

You’ll notice that as your degree develops, writing essays becomes easier, but the writers block hits harder, especially at this time of year. It doesn’t fall on top of your other worries – it is your other worries. You know the answers, and you know you have the mental capacity – for God’s sake, you’re a Cardiff University student.

So here’s the one piece of advice that you might not want to hear, but should probably take.

This is it. Forget the future, forget your summer plans, forget Glee (spoiler: they sing through auto-tuners. Shit happens. Then they win and there’s a new season.). Forget any problems you might be having in your sex life – they will still be there afterwards anyway. Crunch time is fast approaching, and this is what you’re here for. Get in the library, turn off the internet, and get the fuck on with it. We both know you will.

Oh, and good luck. As for me, I think I’m cured.

LETTERS 19

gairrhydd | LETTERS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

the Comments from the week’s news, opinion, features and sport at www.gairrhydd.com Thou shalt not touch kids

this already.

Alithea

Chris Burke Good to see someone pointing out that the criticisms of the Church’s actions are not motivated by anti-religious stances.

Especially when you consider Catholics who have spoken out against the issue.

No one, not even Dawkins, honestly expects to see the Pope in jail.

The point is the message it sends: no one is above the law Rhys Chris: "No one, not even Dawkins, honestly expects to see the Pope in jail. The point is the message it sends: no one is above the law."

Surely he has to go to jail in order for that message to have any affect.

Otherwise the pope really is above the law. I Just want to also say that it is possible for the pope to be arrested as he isn't a head of any state which is recognized by the UN. Dawkins and Hitchens hope to use the same laws which were used to arrest the chilean dictator augusto pinochet, and the Vatican has prepared a defense for

It might be worth pointing out that the percentage of priests in america accused of any kind of sexual misdonduct is 4% - which while is obviously 4% too many, is still pretty rare, and below the national average for American males- well according to an article I read in newsweek anyway.

“The only hard data that has been made public by any denomination comes from John Jay College’s study of Catholic priests, which was authorized and is being paid for by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops following the public outcry over the 2002 scandals. Limiting their study to plausible accusations made between 1950 and 1992, John Jay researchers reported that about four percent of the 110,000 priests active during those years had been accused of sexual misconduct involving children. Specifically, 4,392 complaints (ranging from “sexual talk” to rape) were made against priests by 10,667 victims” “Experts disagree on the rate of sexual abuse among the general American male population, but Allen says a conservative estimate is one in ten. Margaret Leland Smith, a researcher at the John Jay College of

Criminal Justice, says her review of the numbers indicates it’s closer to one in five. But in either case, the rate of abuse by Catholic priests is not higher than these national estimates.” http://www.newsweek.com/id/236096 JudyS Excellent article Mr Parker.

The following article is of interest. It is about an attempt to sue the Pope in 2005. It is at: http://www. houstonpress.com/2010-04-22/news/ the-man-who-sued-the-pope/ The case came to an end when the Vatican desperately asked the USA to declare that the pope had diplomatic immunity – and Condoleeza Rice ruled that he did! (Why?) Would Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton reach the same conclusion in today’s circumstances?

Will the British government extend the same unjustified protection to a minute discriminatory men-only religious enclave in Italy which is not recognized as a state by the UN (it merely has observer status – and should not have that).

StWC stages protest against Israeli

forum

Ambassador Rhys the StWC is just a mouth piece for Islamic fascists, who think that having Saddam still in power was preferable to some civilian casualties.

Jonathan Bird “However, many people heckled during the speech, and a slanging match quickly ensued.”

Clarification the slanging was between members who wanted to hear and ask actuall questions and the StWC demostrators who imterrupted, heckle, set off their mobile phones abused a student for using his native tougue and were generally distruptive. Mr Prosner was excellingly polite and even humorous.

Cormac Because I am largely house and wheelchair bound I am incredibly isolated. I only just heard of this debate today, a week later. UFB. Well, I am happy that pacifisteristic StTW et al., adherents of the Socialism of Fools, in their perpetual crusade-jihad to dissolve or destroy

the state of the second or largest, most Jewish community in the world, did not succeed in silencing that one Jewish state in the world from defending itself and addressing its detractors.

Mr Ambassador, you spoil us Jonathan Remove Israel and replace with Netenyahu “It’s not hard to see Israel’s decision to keep building settlements as contemptuous of the recent peace talks” and I would whole heartedly agree.

Otherwise it’s amazing what STWC didn’t want us to hear. As one member of the audience said “I believe the way to peace is thru dialogue”.

However appraerently peace wasn’t what they want with two of them advocating terrorism. One said “what is wrong with suicide bombing” another spoke highly of resisitance.

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20 TAF-OD

Mewn undeb mae nerth Myfyrwyr Cymraeg yn trafod creu Undeb Myfyrwyr i'r Cymry ym Mhrifysgol Caerdydd

Cynan Llwyd Owain Rhys Lewis

Taf-od Writers

Yn dilyn cyfarfod trefnwyd gan Gymdeithas yr Iaith Gymraeg ynghylch Coleg Ffederal, cymhellwyd criw ohonom i ddod ynghyd un bore Mercher er mwyn trafod safle a statws y Gymraeg ym mywyd y Brifysgol. Daethpwyd i'r casgliad yn go fuan fod polisiau ieithyddol Prifysgol Caerdydd tuag at y Gymraeg yn bur annigonol.

Mae'r prinder o ddarpariaeth Cymraeg ar lefel addysgiadol nifer helaeth o adrannau'r Brifysgol yn gwbl warthus. Mae'r rhan fwyaf ohonom wedi derbyn addysg Gymraeg yn yr ysgol feithrin, yr ysgol gynradd a'r ysgol uwchradd, felly pam ddylsai rhaid i

hynny newid pan mae'n dod at addysg uwch?

Credwn ei fod yn hawl sylfaenol yw derbyn addysg drwy gyfrwng eich mamiaith.

1% o staff y Brifysgol sydd yn medru'r Gymraeg, tra bod hyn yn ffaith anorchfygol ar hyn o bryd, credwn y dylid ceisio cymryd camau i newid hyn ac i gynyddu defnydd y Gymraeg ar bob lefel.

Bellach mae dros fil o fyfyrwyr Cymraeg eu hiaith yng Nghaerdydd, sydd yn fwy na Aberystwyth a Bangor. Ni all y Brifysgol osgoi hyn mwyach. Mae'n amser iddynt weithredu ac ymateb.

Fel y mae hi, ceiff unrhyw fyfyriwr ddewis gael ei arholi drwy gyfrwng y Gymraeg. Credwn i hyn fod yn peth da ond gwelwn anallu y Brifysgol i

ddarparu gwasanaethau cyfieithu yn anghyfiawnder. Does gan y Brifysgol ddim uned cyfieithu. Maent yn hytrach yn defnyddio contractwyr allanol. Er mai'r un cwmniau sy'n cael eu ddefnyddio gan y Cynulliad, credwn ei fod yn dyngydfennol bod cyfieithwyr yn y Brifysgol sydd yn arbennigo mewn maesydd penodol fel nad oes camgymeriadau'n digwydd.

Mi roedd camgymeriadau o'r fath yn boenus amlwg yn ymgyrchoedd rhai o ymgeiswyr yr etholiad diweddar.

Yn fwy difrifol, cosbir y myfyrwyr rheiny sydd am gael eu hasesu drwy gyfrwng y Gymraeg ac felly mae defnyddio'r Gymraeg yng nghyd-destun academaidd bellach yn anfantais yn hytrach na hawl.

Sut felly y medrwn wella'r sefyllfa a sicrhau dyfodol lewyrchus i'r iaith

yn ein Prifysgol?

Galwn ar y rheiny 창 grym gweithredol yn y maes hwn o fewn y Brifysgol ystyried sefydlu Undeb Myfyrwyr Cymraeg Caerdydd y tu fewn i fframwaith presennol yr Undeb a phenodi Llywydd Sabathol cyflogedig yn ben arno. Swydd y Llywydd fydd hybu y Gymraeg ymhob agwedd o fywyd y Brifysgol. Gwelwn hyn yn gam angenrheidiol ym Mhrifysgol Caerdydd.

Er mwyn sicrhau ein gobeithion, rydym yn gofyn i'r Brifysgol fuddsoddi mwy o'i harian a'i hegni yn narpariaeth Gymraeg y Brifysgol.

Gwelwn hyn yn unol a'n hawliau fel myfrwyr Cymraeg ein hiaith. Rydym yn pwyso ar y Brifysgol i ddarparu addysg Gymraeg i fyfyrwyr Cymraeg ac i roi statws a gwerth ar bob lefel i'r

iaith Gymraeg yn ei phrifysgol ac yn ei Phrifddinas.

Gwyddwn y bydd hyn yn broses hir ac mi fydd yn rhaid cymryd un cam ar y tro. Rydym wedi dechrau deialog hynod o bositif gyda'r Undeb yn barod, ac maent hwy yn sylweddoli nad yw'r Gymraeg yn cael y parch a'r bri y mae'n ei haeddu yn y Brifysgol.

Efallai'r cam cyntaf bydd creu cymdeithas (ascosiation, nid society) bydd a llais ar fwrdd yr Undeb, ac yna mynd ymlaen at ffurfio Undeb. Pwy a wyr.

Un peth sydd yn sicr, mi fydd yn broses hir a blinderus, ond hynod o gyffrous yr un pryd!

Bydd croeso i unrhyw fyfyriwr o fewn y Brifysgol fod yn aelod o'r fenter newydd hon. Ymunwch yn yr ymgyrch, dewch i fod yn rhan ohoni.

Dewch i fod yn rhan o hanes.

TAF-OD 21

gairrhydd | TAFOD@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Strength in unity Following a meeting discussing the possibility of a Federal College by The Welsh Language Society, we were motivated to have our own meeting the following Wednesday so as to discuss the status and the position of the Welsh language within the University. We quickly came to the conclusion that the policies of Cardiff University towards Welsh language provision is inadequate.

The lack of Welsh medium education on an academic level in the vast majority of subjects is shameful. The majority of Welsh speaking students have, untill now, recieved all their education through the medium of Welsh.

Why should this stop when they enter

higher education?

We believe the opportunity for a full education in your mother tongue to be a fundamental right.

Only 1% of the University's staff are Welsh speakers, while this is currently an indomitable fact, we believe the University should take steps towards changing the current situation and to increase the use of the Welsh language on every level.

There are now over thousand Welsh speaking students at Cardiff University, which is more than Aberystwyth and Bangor. The University cannot ignore this fact anymore. It is time for them to respond and act.

As it is, any student who wishes to be examined through the medium of

Welsh can do so. We see this as a positive thing, but we also see the University's inability to offer a translation service an injustice. As it stands, the University does not have a translation unit. Rather, they use outside contractors. Though these are the same companies the Welsh Assembly use, it is a must that the University should have translators who specialize in a certain subject so that nothing is lost in translation. A tendency that was all too painfully apparent in the campaigns of certain candidates in the recent elections.

More seriously, those students who choose to be examined through the medium of Welsh are punished. Using Welsh on an academic level becomes

a disadvantage instead of a right.

How then can we better the situation and safeguard the future of the Welsh language in our University?

We call on those who are in authority to establish Undeb Myfyrwyr Cymraeg Caerdydd (a Welsh Student's Union) which will function within the framework of the current Union. Because there is no sabbatical Welsh Officer anymore, we call for the Welsh Union to be headed by an employed sabbatical President. The President's job would be to promote and further the Welsh language in all aspects of the University's life. We see this as a fundamental nesscesity in Cardiff University.

We call on the University to invest

more of its finance to secure equality for the Welsh language in its capital and it's University.

Sure, this journey will take some time. Already we have started an open positive dialogue with the Union, and have conceded that Welsh is not respected within the University. Maybe the first step would be to establish an Association along the lines of what is planned for the LGBT society. Who knows?

We welcome everyone to join our new venture - fluent Welsh speakers, learners and non-speakers alike. We hope you will join us, and be a history maker yourself.

Ffolcio bant! / It's folk Jim, but not as we know it!

Elliw Iwan

Taf-od Writer Os nad ydych wedi profi gwefr Y Glerorfa, sef Cerddorfa Werin Cymru eto, bydd cyfle i chi wneud hynny mewn gig yng Nghanolfan Mileniwm Cymru ar Fai'r 1af.

Yn offerynnwyr, cantorion a chlocswyr, mae'r Glerorfa yn ffenomen.

"Wales's answer to Riverdance - but authentic" meddai Gwyddel yn eu cyngerdd yn Llydaw! Ymysg yr hanner cant a mwy o aelodau, mae myfyrwraig o Ysgol Gerdd Prifysgol Caerdydd, myfyrwraig o Ysgol Feddygol Caerdydd ac aelod o staff gweinyddol y Brifysgol. Mae'r oedran yn amrywio o 10 i 70! ac mae 30% o'r aelodau o dan 25 oed. Un aelod yn unig sydd yn offerynnwr proffesiynol, ond mae tua 10 yn gwneud eu bywoliaeth yn y byd cerdd - yn athrawon, A huge gig is to be held at Wales Millennium Centre on May 1, with two students and a staff member from Cardiff University taking part.

They will be performing with Y Glerorfa, The Folk Orchestra of Wales. An innovative venture, the likes of which have never been seen in Wales before, featuring over 50 musicians with traditional instruments, breathing new life into traditional folk melodies but also encompassing folk singing and clog dancing.

The Orchestra’s members ages vary from ten to 70! And around 30 percent of members are under 25. Only one member is a professional musician,

darlthiwyr, tiwtoriaid a threfnyddion cerdd ac ati.

Mae elfen deuluol gref yn perthyn i'r Glerorfa, gyda thua 10 grwp teuluol - tad a dwy ferch, gwr a gwraig, mam a mab, cefndryd a chyfnitherod. Mae 90% o'r Glerorfa yn Gymry Cymraeg.

Yn perfformio gyda'r Glerorfa ar y noson fydd Lleuwen Steffan, Sian James, Calan, sef grwp o gerddorion ifanc fydd yn dod a chymysgedd o ffidil, telyn, acordion, pibgorn, pibau a gitâr ynghyd â chanu a chlocsio!"Folk with a bit of bling"! Bydd perfformiadau gan y cerddorion a dawnswyr Llydewig Kevrenn Alre a'r gantores Nolwenn Korbell, sy'n gyn-aelod o Bob Delyn a'r Ebillion. Os am noson wefreiddiol a gwahanol, dewch lawr i'r Bae i ddathlu Calan Mai gyda'r Glerorfa ac eraill. Am ragor o wybodaeth: www.wmc.org.uk. but around ten make their living in the musical world – teachers, university lecturer, tutors and music organisers, etc. There is a strong family element to the orchestra, with around 11 separate family ‘units’ – a father and two daughters, husband and wife, mother and son, cousins, etc.

The gig will also feature singer and harpist Sian James, five-piece folk group Calan “Folk with a bit of Bling” and regulars on Radio 2; Lleuwen Steffan; Bagad Kevrenn Alre performing traditional Breton music and dances, and Nolwenn Korbell, a recording artist in Breton, Welsh, English and French. More information: www.wmc.org.uk

gairrhydd | SCIENCE@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

SCIENCE & ENVIRONMENT 23

Are consoles fair game?

Pressure is being put on major gaming companies to clean up their act. Amy Hall has a look at why Amy Hall Science Editor Games consoles are a decent rival to Facebook to avoid essay writing and revision, but their environmental and health effects, as well as the impact they have on your energy bills, are now under the spotlight.

Consoles could be one of the biggest energy wasters in the home according to a recent study by Retrevo, a consumer electronics review and shopping website. But they are blaming the manufacturers, not the users themselves.

While 84 percent of console owners in the study said they turn them off most of the time they are not using them, only 36 percent had games consoles which always turn themselves off when not in use.

Games consoles contribute to up to 50 million tonnes of e-waste a year There is disagreement, however, among owners as to whose responsibility this should be. Second year student, Tamsyn, says that she thinks that her Xbox 360 should automatically turn off when it is not being used because of the noise and heat it gives out when accidentally left on.

Andy, a third year Nintendo Wii owner disagrees. “I don't expect consoles to turn off automatically; it wouldn't work. It might start turning off when you want to go and get food or something because it thinks you aren't playing any more”.

Two of the biggest energy drainers in the study were Microsoft's Xbox 360 and Sony's Playstation 3. The Nintendo Wii only uses 19 watts of power but, according to a report

by Greenpeace, is manufactured using environmentally irresponsible materials.

In America, the issue of console power usage could soon be coming under legislation. Senator Robert Menendez introduced the Green Gaming Act in September 2009 which would require the Department of Energy to determine whether energy standards for condoles are needed.

The Act is still being debated.

The carbon footprint of games discs, including manufacturing, packaging and shipping was reduced by over 54 percent, or 430kg, from 2006 to 2008. Companies are still trying to improve on this and from December last year, many Xbox 360 games started shipping in a case called the 'Eco-Box'.

The waste produced by unwanted consoles is still a concern. Games consoles contribute to an estimated 20 to 50 million tonnes of 'e-waste' a year, a large portion of which ends up in developing countries where

workers and children are often exposed to the toxic chemicals. Incineration of e-waste also releases toxins into the air which end up in soil and water supplies.

According to a report published earlier this month by GamePro magazine, toxic chemicals called phthalates - used to make soft plastics such as wire casing - are present in most consoles. One of these, DEHP, is known to effect sexual development in humans, especially males.

Greenpeace echoed these results in their report 'Playing Dirty' which said that the Xbox 360 and PS3 both contained materials with high levels of phthalates not permitted under EU rules on toys.

“Whether game consoles are classified as toys or not, they can still contain hazardous chemicals and materials that could harm humans.

The technology is available for the manufacturers to design out toxics and produce greener game consoles now,” said Dr. Kevin Brigden from Greenpeace Science Unit.

Iza Kruszeweska is a Greenpeace toxics campaigner. "Companies need to support legislative bans to ensure a consistent phase out of PVC and BFRs across all electronic products."

Many gamers are unconcerned by the research though, as Andy sums up: "I've been playing games consoles for years and they haven't harmed me yet".

The real worth of literature

Scientists think they may have found a new way to measure the 'worth' of literature: Neuro Lit Crit Aleksandra Berditchevskaia Science Writer How subjective is ‘great’ literature? And can evolutionary theory provide new insight into the themes we explore in our novels?

These are just some of the questions being explored by the new 'Neuro Lit Crit' movement that is taking the academic literary world by storm.

Neuro Lit Crit refers to the wave of neuropsychological research into the field of literary theory. This new intersection between science and the arts could be the much needed saviour that university literary departments are in dire need of.

In the face of the increased resignation to the predicted “death in the humanities”, it may prove vital in attracting funding and the interest of prospective students.

Many have welcomed the emerging

movement as an antidote to what they consider to be an outdated traditional style of literary criticism.

The new Neuro Lit Crit studies look for objective, empirically grounded measures of literary value; some kind of consistency between individuals.

Most of the research in the field brings together teams of cognitive scientists and humanist scholars to provide the interdisciplinary expertise necessary for success. For example, some groups are focusing on investigations into the mechanics of reading.

Michael Holquist, a professor of comparative literature who is leading one such project at Yale University explains, "We’re trying to find out whether there is a cognitive value added when an individual reads a ‘complex’ text.

"We are planning to scan the brain activity of 12 participants while they are presented with texts ranging from newspapers to more challenging

pieces, such as the work of Marcel Proust, to see what differences we can detect."

Others in the field are taking a more psychological approach to the study of literature.

Neuro Lit Crit is "depressingly determinist" The psychological concept of the ‘theory of mind’ has caught the interest of many literary scholars. It refers to the ability to appreciate that others have mental states and beliefs that may be different from one’s own.

Blakey Vermuille, an associate professor of English at Stanford University, is examining this concept from an evolutionary perspective, looking at what role it plays in the development of the narrative technique known as 'free indirect style'.

But can the worth of literature really be judged from such a rational and objective perspective? As quickly as Neuro Lit Crit has gathered supporters and generated excitement, it has also met its fair share of resistance and concern.

William Pannapacker, an associate English professor of Hope University in Michigan, advises a cautious approach to what he sees as a passing fad: “If there is such a thing as the 'Next Big Thing' in the humanities, it won’t be based on making humanists into scientists.”

Marco Roth, one of the founding editors of n+1, a controversial American literary journal, agrees. He sees the new movement as, “depressingly determinist [just like] the Marxist literary studies it’s superseding”.

It may have the academic world divided, but at the moment, it certainly seems that Neuro Lit Crit is here to stay.

News in brief Newsbites Nose lurking leeches International scientists have identified a new type of leech with a preference for living up human noses by entering the body orifices and attaching themselves to the mucus membranes.

These strange creatures, which have a single jaw with a row of eight “enormous” teeth, have been nicknamed the Tyrannobdella Rex (the Tyrant Leech King).

They were first discovered in Peru in 2007, when one was taken from the nose of a girl who had been bathing in a river. They are said to live primarily in the remote parts of the upper Amazon.

More attractive and successful According to a Cardiff University study, mixed race people are more attractive and successful.

1,205 black, white and mixed race faces were judged on attractiveness, with mixed race faces generally being considered more attractive.

Dr Michael Lewis, based his study on Darwin’s theory of heterosis: the idea that cross-breeding leads to offspring that are genetically fitter than their parents. Dr Lewis also suggested mixed race people are more successful. “Although a small proportion of the population, they are over-represented at the top level of meritocratic professions".

No oxygen needed Scientists have discovered the first animals that can survive and reproduce without oxygen. They have been named Loriciferans, because of their protective layer (lorica) and were found at the bottom of the Mediterranean Sea. Roberto Danovaro and his team of scientists reported the creatures to be about a millimetre in size with the appearance of jellyfish in a protective shell. There were three species found, two of which contained eggs which were successfully hatched.

Scientists think a greater study of animal-microbe could now help answer questions about the possibility of life on other planets with different atmospheres to Earth.

Failed launch India’s attempt to launch an advanced communications satellite with a cryogenic engine into orbit has failed: the rocket took off without complications but soon deviated from its path.

Cryogenic engines are rocketed motors designed for fuels that have to be held at a low temperature to remain liquid.

The chairman of the Indian Space Research Organisation, Dr K Radhakrishnan said there would be an investigation into the failure.

India began developing cryogenic technology after Russia in 1993, following pressure from the US – it hopes to emerge, among others, in the multi-billion dollar satellite launch scheme.

24 LISTINGS

gairrhydd | LISTINGS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

YOUR INDEPENDENT LISTINGS GUIDE Monday

Tuesday

FUN FACT TREE, Solus, FREE Fun Factory is still producing cheap entertainment for those too stingy to splurge their student loans. Free entry and super cheap drinks are a perfect way to enjoy yourself whilst keeping an eye on the purse-strings. Dupstep, DnB, Electro... it's got everything. Go for it.

CHIC BEAT @ VODKA REVOLUTIONS, £5 "Rough Hill bring you a break from the generic student night with CHIC BEAT. A brand new venue, student drink prices, top DJs that actually play quality music, and themed nights that go all out!"

Yeah, right.

LISTEN UP, Clwb, £3 Listen Up has become an institution within an institution. Everybody loves Clwb. Everybody loves Listen Up. Playing a mix of Motown, Funk, Indie and Pop amoung 3 floors of cheap bars and trendy kids, this is the place to be every Wednesday.

VODKA ISLAND @ TIGER TIGER, £3/£5 Tiger Tiger promises the best in chart, hip hop, retro, electro and all of your favourite floor fillers and student anthems... That's a pretty big claim there... BUT, if you like stupidly cheap vodka and aren't too fussy about clientelle, then this is THE place to be on a Monday night. Apparently.

FLUX=RAD, Cardiff Arts Institute, FREE, 8pm A night dedicated to delivering the most exciting new acts into the city of Cardiff. Celebrating all things emerging and providing a showcase for the very best in local live talent, this new weekly night is a voyage of discovery.

VARSITY/THE LASH, Swansea and Solus, The largest sporting event of the Universtiy calendar- now in its 14th year, it has developed into a total sporting experience, with matches between Cardiff and Swansea taking place throughout the day and culminating in THE most talked about event of the seasonthe prestigious rugby match between the two university teams. Afterwards, you can head to The Lash for a Varsity After Party to celebrate taking Swansea down (fingers crossed!)

16th April

27th April

Wednesday

28th April

Thursday 29th April

GIVE IT A NAME 2010, Clwb Ifor Bach, £6/£8, 7pm Full on line-up this year... The Swellers: "One of the best records of 2009, no doubt. It's obvious the Swellers have topped their Everest and written an album that might just be the perfect balance of melodic & pop punk since [Green Day's] Dookie. The only question you'll have, even after just one listen, is why on earth aren't this band already huge. It's just that good."

BETHAN ELFYN PRESENTS, Buffalo Bar, FREE, 8pm The best place to hear new music first in Cardiff with Radio 1's Bethan Elfyn. Up & coming bands, label showcases & DJs, followed by the lady herself DJing in the bar until the early hours.

Students’ Union, Park Place, 02920 387421 www.cardiffstudents.com ◆ IV Lounge, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 ◆ Clwb Ifor Bach ros, Bakers Row 02920 399939 www.clubmetropolitan.com ◆ Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 ◆ Move, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 ◆ Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 www.cafejazzcardiff.com ◆ The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street www.riverbankjazz.co.uk ◆ St. David’s Hall, Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 www.wmc.org.uk ◆ The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 www.newtheatrecardiff.co.uk ◆ The Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 ◆ The Millennium Stadium Can’t miss it. www.millenniumstadium.com ◆ Tiger Tiger

LISTINGS 25

gairrhydd | LISTINGS@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Friday

30th April AU AWARDS, Great Hall, 7.30pm Branding themselves as kid-folk and offering their previous EP in a hand knitted case, The Momeraths are an exciting and innovative band who, with the likes of Slow Club and Peggy Sue, are really bringing a freshness to the indie folk sound.

Saturday 1st May

Sunday 2nd May

National Medical School's Cup Final, Cardiff Arms Park, £5 Perhaps one of the biggest events on the Medic's rudgby calendar: Cardiff Medics v Nottingham Medics. Be sure to head down to Arms Park to show your support.

GO TO THE PARK Take advantage of this recent fine weather and talk a stroll in Bute, a stride in the Bay, or just sit in your garden. Why are tyou indoors in such wonderful (and rare) sun. You should be ashamed. Buy me a lolly.

SOCIETIES AWARDS, Great Hall, 7.30pm The awards will recognise the outstanding achievements of our Societies many of which provide overseas aid, compete at an international level, fight for the welfare of students and the local community and raise several thousand pounds for charity. With 17 different categories, every Society has the opportunity to triumph.

THE TEMPER TRAP, Great Hall, £13.50, 7pm A lot of water has passed under the bridge since The Temper Trap’s delay soaked opening to ‘Sweet Disposition’ first began causing a stir on Australian radio late last year.

The band have shot to fame recently, and this gig promises to be a fantastic one. It's probably worth paying 13 squids just to hear that iconic opening... or not.

LOST PROPHETS, GIA, £22.50, doors: 6.30pm You can't beat a bit of the old Lost Prophets... right? Love them or hate them, you can't help but sing along to that 'Last Summer' ANTHEM, and don't even try and be cool and deny it. They've had some pretty big hits over the years, so it you have some spare cash it might be worth checking out. Maybe.

CARBOOTIQUE, Cardiff Arts Institute, FREE, from 3pm The 1st Sunday of every month is Market Day, CIA's version of a Carboot Sale. So spend a couple of hours bargain hunting and rummaging. It’s all about reduce, reuse and recycle.

COME PLAY, Solus, £3.50 A safe bet for a Saturday night. If none of the other events do it for you, head to the Union for guaranteed good music and cheap drinks.

Not the most imaginative of nights out, but you'll be sure to have a good time. And who said that being able to predict the playlist down to the very minute was a bad thing???

ELECTRO-SWING FANDANGO, Cardiff Arts Institute, £5, 8pm Secret Carnival return to tear the roof of this extra special bank holiday event the Correspondants blend of hip-hop/D&B meets 1920’s swing. Featuring Top Shelf Jazz - the fine purveyors of filthy swing. Put your

You shall go to the Ball

As you can probably tell from this week's Listings, Awards season is upon us, with two of the biggest events in the social calendar taking place. The prestigious Athletic Union Awards ceremony will be taking place in the Students' Union Great Hall on Friday. and promises to be a swanky affair.

A chance for sporting L.A.D's and ladies to don tuxedoes and posh dresses for a night of rowdy but good natured binge drinking.

Awards will be given in many categories, including Sports Club of the Year and Spots Personality of the Year.

The Societies Awards are taking place in the same venue on the following night, and this year is set to be the best one yet with awards for Best Fundraiser, Most Improved Society and Best Society. This year's Societies Awards also includes an accolade called 'The People's Choice Award', which has been awarded based on votes cast on Facebook.

Both ceremonies provide a great opportunity to celebrate the successes of your societies and sports teams, not to mention an excuse to take some time out of your revision and essay-writing to socialise with people other than the library receptionists.

Also taking place this month is the 13th Annual Cardiff Student Media Awards, which is being held at the Hilton Hotel. Each year. the awards ceremony gets bigger and better, and this year will be no exception.

Hosted by Radio One's Greg James, and attended by other important media moguls, the awards ceremony provides a chance for all involved with Cardiff Student Media to have their work recognised by industry professionals.

So, whatever your plans for the coming weeks, there's plenty of opportunities for you to get out your party frocks and dust off your dancing shoes, put down those essays and whack out the bow tie. We'll see you there.

(The Welsh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 www.clwb.net ◆ Barfly, Kingsway, Tickets: 08709070999 www.barflyclub.com/cardiff ◆ MetIncognito, Park Place 02920 412190 ◆ Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 ◆ The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 ◆ Café The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardiff.co.uk ◆ Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 www.chapter.org ◆ Wales Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermantheatre.co.uk ◆ The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 www.glee.co.uk ◆ Greyfriar's Road 02920 391944 www.tigertiger.co.uk ◆ Tommy’s Bar, Howard Gardens (off Newport Road) 02920 416192 ◆

26 XPRESS RADIO

gairrhydd | XPRESSRADIO.CO.UK MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

...AND YOUR NEW STATION MANAGER IS...

LUKE FRANKS! The past year has seen a really positive change in how Xpress is managed and perceived within the University, but we still need to do more. In short, my main focus is quality over quantity, whilst still maintaining the opportunity for newcomers to get involved. Xpress needs to be a station that gives students what they want to hear and along with great music, the first source for university news and sports results. Prepare for Xpress to have a bigger and better presence next year!

EXCLUSIVE: SUMMER BALL LINE-UP Find out who is headlining at the Summer Ball live and exclusive on Xpressradio. co.uk on Friday April 28 at 11:45am! Plus tune in throughout the week for your chance to win some fantastic prizes, including food vouchers for the ball and tickets for the Ball itself. The Summer Ball takes place on Friday June 11 in Coopers Field, just behind Cardiff Castle.

ERASMUS INFORMATION Ever thought about an ERASMUS placement but worried about the cost or the language skills? Tune in to Xpressradio. co.uk on Saturday at 6pm when Alphabetti Spaghetti will give YOU the lowdown on how you can get involved, live abroad and even get money from the EU for doing it.

We’ve been there, done it and want to tell the world!

So listen in 6pm Saturday April 24 for all the information, plus the chance to win some very exciting mystery prizes. The show will be available on Listen Again on Xpressradio.co.uk from Sunday April 25.

Designed for Cardiff, Defined by you! ☛ NEW MUSIC! ☛ NEW WEBSITE! ☛ NEW err NEWS!

Monday

Tuesday 10 AM: Milly Breakfast

12 PM: Sports Xpress 1 PM: ELECTION RESULTS LIVE **Schedule may be subject to change** 4 PM: Louisa and Ally B's Afternoon Show

12 PM: Union Request Live!

12 PM: Cariad' and Cosmos

2 PM: Three Girls and A Gay

2 PM: The Kat and Ash Show

4 PM: Tamsin and Mel's Afternoon Show

4 PM: Luke and Ed's Afternoon Show

6 PM: XCHANGE! with Tom and Dave

6 PM: XCHANGE! with Megan and Charlotte

6 PM: XCHANGE! with Amy and Steven

8 PM: Escape From the Pigeonhole

8 PM: Rock! Paper! Scissors!

9:30 PM: Getting Fruity!

9:30 PM: Superstars!

11 PM: Superfly!

11 PM Unknown Zone

10 AM: Rachel and Chloe's Student Breakfast 12 PM: Sports Xpress 2 PM: Dead End Radio 4 PM: Sean and Harry's Afternoon Show 6 PM: XCHANGE! with Three Man Bundle 8 PM: New and Obscure

Sunday

Jess'

Friday 10 AM: Dan Potts' Student Breakfast 12 PM: The Queen Of Hearts 2 PM: A Shot of JD 4 PM: Sally and Susie's Afternoon Show

10 AM: Rob and Dunc's Student Breakfast 12 PM: Gareth Jones' Temple of Boom 2 PM: The Restoration 4 PM: Community Service

6 PM: Alphabetti Spaghetti

9:30 PM: Living Room Rave

7 PM: Ten Years Time

11 PM: Dave and Joe Radio Show

8 PM: And Now For Something Completely Different 9 PM: The North/South Divide 10 PM: Curly Joe and Ginger's Musical Monopoly

6 PM: Anything Alternative

11:00: Round Table

7 PM: Hippo In The Hammock

12:00 The Well-Meaners

8 PM: Livewire

1:00 PM: The Friday Quiz (On A Sunday!)

9 PM: Bringing It All Back Home

3 PM: Student Radio Chart Show

Saturday

8 PM: What's The Diff?

10:30: Electile Dysfunction

2:30: Britt + Jen Get Problematic

9: 30 PM: Relaxative

5 PM: AltNation SoapBox

5 PM: Under The Radar

2:00: The Trawlermen's Sweerhearts

8 PM: Norfolk Nights

6 PM: XCHANGE! with Tomm Barnett

10 AM: The Film Show

1:30: The Rewrite, by Natalie Stone

Student

10 APM: Helen and Char's Student Breakfast

10 AM: Ditzee Rascal's Student Breakfast

Thursday

and

Wednesday

10 PM: Ridicule The Mule 11 PM: Watts' Occurin'

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FIVE MINUTE FUN 27

gairrhydd | FMF@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

EASY

sudoku.

HARD

Mystic Smeg Aries, March 21 – April 20 You went on holiday with 8 condoms, but came back with 9? Awful.

Taurus, April 21 – May 21 That Volcano is messing you right about. It's an explosive situation. I'll let the dust settle on that comment, for now.

Gemini, May 22 – June 21 Sup girl. What's your name? Brian?

Oh.

quick crossword.

Across

Down

9. Deliberately vague (7) 10. Transparency (7) 11. Hero-worship (7) 12. Not this one (7) 13. Right away (9) 15. Bad treatment (5) 16. Engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking (7) 19. Arm muscles (7) 20. Fire a weapon (5) 21. List of all the items in stock (9) 25. Atomic (7) 26. A number defining position or rank (7) 28. Enduring strength (7) 29. Hell (7)

1. A US spacecraft (1960's) (6) 2. A regional dialect (6) 3. New Zealand bird (4) 4. Flaw (6) 5. A causative agent (chemistry) (8) 6. An award (10) 7. Funny farm (8) 8. Unrivaled (8) 14. Exact opposite (10) 16. Recklessness (8) 17. Inflexibly entrenched and unchangeable (8) 18. Train (8) 22. A stringed instrument (6) 23. Cantankerous (6) 24. The color of the sun (6) 27. Goofy (4)

Cancer, June 22 – July 22 So you're going through their facebook pictures, and you're on number 312.

Not a good start to the day, really.

Leo, July 23 - August 23 Nothing to worry about this week. You finished your dissertation too? God you're amazing.

Virgo, August 24 – September 22 You honestly look like you've been crafted out of pure evil. Sort it out.

Libra, September 23 – October 23 A man will call your tits ''crap'', but it's okay, because he's got a small penis!

Karma!

Scorpio, October 24 – November 22 Venus got pissed and fell on her arse last night. You will do too.

Sagittarius, November 23 – December 21 Don't let that girlfriend of yours out of your sight! She's up to something, I know it...

Capricorn, December 22 – January 20 You woke up next to him again didn't you.

Aquarius, January 21 – February 18 If you're planning on having eye sex with someone, at least wear glasses. It's just protection.

Pisces, February 19 – March 20 Pisces. Has the word 'pie' in it, doesn't it. Stop eating pies.

28 SPORT - WARM UP Previews in Alex Bywater predicts some closely fought battles brief as the Heineken Cup reaches the Semi-Final stage Liverpool V Chelsea

In what has arguably been the closest Premier League Title race ever, the Liverpool home game against Chelsea has all the makings of a game that could put the final nail in one team’s title hopes.

A fortnight ago, Chelsea looked to have the title sewn up after beating Manchester United 2-1 at Old Trafford. However, the race is now wide open. Can Manchester United win their fourth consecutive title? Or will Chelsea win their first trophy post Mourinho?

Earlier in the day United’s home game against Spurs will have a profound effect on the destination of the title. However, I think the game at Anfield is the decider.

With a lead of one point, the title is still within Chelsea’s hands. Despite being beaten away at the in-form Spurs, and losing Captain John Terry to suspension, Chelsea still hold the upper hand.

The game will be a tight, tense affair. With Liverpool pushing hard for at least a place in the Europa League again next season, they have their own priorities to play for and will not be too bothered about doing their old friends United a favour!

However, with star striker and sole goal threat Fernando Torres out for the rest of the season, they may struggle to score the goals needed to outdo Chelsea.

Despite this, I think this game will end in a draw and take this pulsating title race down to the final day.

gairrhydd | SPORT@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

The first weekend of May brings about the concluding stages of European rugby’s premier club tournament, the Heineken Cup. Much like the Six Nations, the games will be dominated by the finest that both French and Irish rugby have to offer. With both Toulouse and Biarritz both hosting the semi-finals at their fortress French stadiums, an all French final, in Paris looks to be on the cards. However this does not take into account the huge strength, class and sheer persistence of the Irish.

Defending champions Leinster will not give up their crown without a fight and everyone knows about Munster.

Toulouse have a vast array of talent in their backline The men from Thomond Park are relentless in their pursuit of European glory, driven on by their powerful pack of forwards led by Paul O’Connell.

So then, let’s turn to the first semi final; and Leinster’s trip to the south of France to take on Toulouse. The latter have moved into the semi-finals with an impressive and consummate display against great French rivals Stade Francais.

Although Stade have been disappointing this season and have been

LUCK OF THE IRISH: Leinster will be looking to claim the Heineken trophy for the second year running struggling in the French League, the manner of Toulouse’s 42-16 win was both impressive and comprehensive.

Toulouse have always been able to score tries, with their vast array of talent in their backline. Players such as Clément Poitrenaud, Vincent Clerc, Cédric Heymans and Yannick Jauzion all have the ability to score tries at will.

However, with a solid platform

FLYING THE FLAG: Dimitri Yashvili leading the way for Biarritz

provided at scrum time by William Servat and Captain Thierry Dusautoir, they are now a supreme force on the European stage.

Leinster will look to stifle the Toulouse backs and pressurise at both scrum and line out.

Munster offer strength, pace and experience As usual, they will be reliant on Captain Brian O’Driscoll to provide an attacking threat. Jonathan Sexton’s kicking under pressure is a worry.

As a result, I think Toulouse will have too much for the defending champions in this one, by around ten to fifteen points.

In the other semi final, Biarritz take on Munster with the prize a trip to the Stade de France. I expect this match to be much closer. Biarritz only just overcame the Ospreys in the quarter finals by a single point. Their victory was based on a late break away try made by American speed merchant Takudzwa Ngwenya and finished by English export Iain Balshaw.

However, in all honesty, the Os-

preys really should have won that game. Biarritz’s desire to play an open, attacking game can often result in massive successes. Despite this, their indiscipline can be targeted by Munster’s forwards.

The Ospreys only failed to win the quarter final due to their poor quality of set piece, something that has dogged the Welsh regions and national side all year. Munster will not make the same mistakes. They are a firmly established European outfit and took care of Northampton Saints; the sole English representatives left in the last round.

As ever, Munster’s experienced old brigade of forwards will drive them forward. Captain Paul O’Connell provides huge power and know how in the engine room along with John Hayes in the front row.

They also offer threat, pace and even more experience in the back line, led by Ronan O’Gara. In essence, they are the complete European team.

This will be a tight affair, but one in which I expect Munster to progress from, leading to a Toulouse versus Munster Final at the Stade de France on May 22.

Heineken Cup Semi-Finals: Editors' Predictions Robbie Wells: These two ties are firmly in the favour of the French, as both Toulouse and Biarritz will enjoy home advantage. However, the two Irish giants have been here before in recent seasons, and will use all of their experience in these semis. Toulouse will be looking to add to their three Heineken Cup wins, and I expect them to reach the final. Munster will push Biarritz in a game that could go either way, but I feel home advantage will prove crucial.

James Hinks: I predict an all Irish final. After the disappointment of the Six Nations this year the Irish teams will be desperate to prove themselves against the French.

The home advantage will be a great help to the French teams though and the are also tough opposition however, I feel the Irish will prevail in France and Munster will win the trophy in the final.

Lucy Morgan: Toulouse notoriously do well in this tournament and are consistently the team to beat.

Leinster will be determined to make the finals for the second year running but I feel Toulouse away will prove too much. Biarritz also have the luck of a home draw and I can see them securing a narrow victory over Munster. With French rugby still in high spirits after a Six Nation's Grand Slam, I'm predicting an all French final in Paris.

Jon Evans: Toulouse are a giant force in European rugby. The sheer quality of their side is outstanding and is littered with international players. Added to this is the fact they are playing at home, a massive advantage in the Heineken Cup, which will prove too much for Leinster. In the other semi-final I suspect that Munster could squeeze it. Biarritz narrowly beat the Ospreys in the previous round and I feel that Munster could go that one step further.

THE WORD ON - SPORT 29

gairrhydd | SPORT@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Jake Yorath gives The Word On... this season's wide open F1 Championship Formula One’s a funny sport. Not funny like Benny Hill (though I sometimes think Hispania Racing (HRT) would be better at that) but funny like how toast falls butter side down and how there’s never milk when you want cereal.

Before the season, every hack with half a brain and less than a second’s worth of F1 experience was gabbling on about Michael Schumacher. Then they had small jizz attacks about Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton being like Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost.

Then back to Schumacher again.

The name Schumacher was Googled almost as often as ‘Britney knicker flash’ by journalists who know fuck all about motorsport, tripping over themselves to rip off some poor racing expert’s blog first. And look at them now. They’re sat in the middle of the wreckage of their hype storm while Jenson Button quietly (and repeatedly) punches Lewis Hamilton’s reputation in the face, but in a really nice, gentle way.

Sitting in the wreckage of their own fortunes are the Red Bull team, who are approaching the 2010 season in the same way a hand grenade approaches a target – explosive, unreliable and not often around where it needs to be for very long. Underneath all of that is Michael Schumacher, no doubt by now pondering how to dispose of Nico Rosberg without anyone tracing it back to him. Or wondering why on earth he gave up a cushy life of playing football and wearing shit sunglasses to get punched up by a kid.

What of the newcomers? Virgin’s spent most of testing shedding pieces and has since trundled for short distances. These distances have been

Darth Vadar's new outfit sucks

Top Five Anti-climatic comebacks

1.

Eight years after retiring, Borg returned to the fray, still with his trusty wooden racket in hand. The only problem was that the rest of the tour had updated their equipment, leaving Borg in the dust without a win in 12 ATP events.

2.

The return of possibly the greatest ever footballer, Zinedine Zidane, to international football in World Cup 2006 was going so well until he headbutted Marco Materazzi in the final, which France then lost.

Whenever F1 gets a bit boring, you can always play count the sponsors... I've found ten made short, amongst other reasons, by a fuel tank too small to make the end of a race. That is not a joke – their tank is 13 litres too small. It looks nice though and that’s what counts.

Right?

Virgin’s car may have fallen apart in testing, but HRT’s didn’t even have the chance to, because the team is run by a group who’s perception of business is flimsy. Very flimsy. Flimsy in a similar way to Somalia’s political system. After a shake up, they put in charge Colin Kolles, who is a dentist.

The cars are so far off the pace that the ‘country mile’ has had to be added

to Rolex’s timing screens for the 2010 season and Bruno Senna will forever be linked in the minds of the public with superstar uncle Ayrton – but in my mind, he’s motorsport’s equivalent of a sandpaper dildo. His team mate, Karun Chandok, is the second fastest Indian in the world – yet a chicken biryani at the Bengal Spice arrives in about ten minutes and there’s no way the poor chap’s tardy race car will manage a lap of any circuit in that time. HRT have been so bad, they’ve made Lotus’s considerably average achievements seem amazing.

The British team, paid for with Proton money, have scraped the ‘best newcomer’ title by virtue of having a large enough fuel tank and two drivers who are termed ‘experienced’ – reading between the lines, they’re okay lads who aren’t good enough to be at another team. Heikki Kovalainen was shite at McLaren for a couple of years and Jarno Trulli was shite but slightly less shite than Ralf Schumacher for hundreds of years at Toyota. Rumours that Trulli is, in fact, 135 are apparently untrue.

At the front (who cares about the midfield anyway?), it’s been an up and down thing. Qualifying has been redder than Kerry Katona’s bank balance and more bullish than a BNP supporter in a Bangladeshi pottery shop. Every

2010 pole position has been won by either Sebastien Vettel or Mark Webber and yet, between them, they have mustered just one victory and one second place (both in Malaysia). Every other race has seen them crash, break down or get their tactics horrendously, spectacularly wrong. They have, metaphorically at least, put the title on a platter and handed it into the crowd.

At the front of that crowd for a while was Fernando Alonso, who is quite good. By quite good I mean that his talent is even greater than his titanic neck and his drives this season have been far beyond his results. He’s driven a car with almost no gearbox and nearly scored points, he’s won a grand prix… but he’s not as good, it seems, as Jenson Button. I have been wrong about things. Many things, in fact. But never as spectacularly wrong as I have been about this young lad.

What a season he is having. Having been OK at the first two races, brilliant tactical calls from his side of the garage have propelled him to two race wins and the championship lead.

Lewis Hamilton has helped, with his garage happy to come up with tactics akin to doing a burnout in front of Aussie Police. Like coming in for tyres late/early/not at all.

It’s turning out to be one hell of a season.

3.

After winning the heavyweight title for a record third time, Muhammad Ali's return resulted in two rather uninspiring losses.

4.

At 22, Mark Spitz won a then record seven golds at a single Olympics.

Nearly 20 years later attempted a return at the Barcelona Olympics, but failed to break into the US team.

5.

After undergoing a kidney transplant in 2004, Jonah Lomu made a comeback with the Blues in late 2005, making a handful of appearances before a persistent ankle injury forced him to call time on his career.

30 SPORT - IMG

gairrhydd | SPORT@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

CARBS best in the Business Adam Horne Sports Editor CARBS were crowned Premiership champions as they beat last years winners MOMED in a closely fought encounter.

They took to the field with the championship already won, leading second placed MOMED by five points. Nevertheless this game promised to be a passionate affair judging from the rivalry present between the two sides and victory for either side would provide banter rights for an-

other year.

CARBS took early initiative, scoring in bizarre fashion after just 20 seconds. Their winger picked up the ball from kick-off, and showed good composure to skip past the MOMED defence. A sliced cross into the box turned into an unstoppable shot as the ball nestled in the top corner of the MOMED goal. Such was the shock that little celebration occurred.

However MOMED appeared unnerved and hit back, camping themselves in the CARBS half for long periods of time, only to be denied on two occasions by the post. CARBS may have doubled their lead mid-way

through the first half, after another brilliant run from their winger saw him beat two MOMED defenders and run through clean on goal, only to have his effort saved by the Keeper.

Again MOMED continued to push, dominating for large periods, but failing to make the most of any chances they made.

CARBS improved at the start of the second half, testing the MOMED defence on a number of occasions, but again, failing to make anything of their chances. They were nearly rewarded for their improved performance in the 65th minute. MOMED failed to clear a corner, which was met by a CARBS

head, only to smack against the bar, the resulting rebound cleared to safety by the MOMED keeper.

MOMED’s frustration grew as time faded away, their only close effort, a shot from striker Sam Cockeram saved easily by the CARBS keeper.

The game ended 1-0, and marked a superb undefeated season for the CARBS team.

Captain Daniel Knight commented, “It's been a great year. To have won the league so emphatically, and captaining the team has been a pleasure.

I'm gutted to be leaving and handing over the captaincy to Luke Baxter.

Needless to say, I'll be keeping in

touch with everyone.”

It proved to be a memorable campaign for all the freshers involved with the team too. Left-back Jordan McCatty expressed his happiness and has even called out the Cardiff University Football Club, setting down a challenge to them.

“We'd love to end the season with a spirited game against one of the Uni football teams to see how the best in IMG would fare but it remains to be seen if they will accept our challenge," he said.

It would certainly round off what has been a truly impressive season for CARBS, who played a total of 14 games, winning 13 and drawing one.

They scored a total of 78 goals, conceding only nine along the way.

Such an impressive record will no doubt be hard to replicate next season, but for now, the IMG champions plan to kick back and relax, and tell us they’re planning a celebratory team trip to Las Vegas in the near future in the hope of continuing their winning ways.

MUD POLO: Not even Frank Lampard would score a penalty from that spot

A round up of the other Champions of this year's IMG James Hinks Sports Writer WINNERS: AFC HISTORY AFC History sneaked to the top of Division 1 on goal difference despite losig their last game of the season game 2 - 1 to economics.

Division 1 was a tight division with any team seeming able to beat another. The eventual winners, AFC History had some notable wins, a 4 - 0 thumping of Inter-menan being one of their big wins.

However, they did fail to beat any of the Engin teams, drawing with Engin B and losing to Engin A. This is a fact that Engin will be happy with although they will be disappointed not to have won the laegue.

These slip-ups in AFC's season and inconsistancy shown from other rivals meant that the league was left on a knife edge with several teams being able to win the division with one game to go.

Even after losing their last game,

a superior goal difference meant that a nervous AFC History were named champions.

Captain William Barton confessed that "It was a disappointment not to be this years IMG Premiership". However, the proud Captain said that "winning division 1 was the best his team could do and thats what we aimed for after losing out on a Premiership place, we achieved it so I'm pleased".

Luke Davies summed up AFC History's spirit after finding out they had one Division 1 by goal difference "I'm so pleased we won, so proud of the lads, what a way to win the league, now lets go and have it large over town"

Simon Lucey Sports Writer WINNERS: EUROS FC Euros FC drew with Pharmacy 1-1 to ensure that they won the IMG Division 2.

Euro's found momentum for their last match with an inspired impromtu managers speach from influencial Captain Chris Tarquini. The video can be seen on facebook if any other Captains want to find some tips for future motivational speaches.

The season was also helped by consistant goal scorer Jamie Craig, who's goals helped the team maintain their winning streak.

Euro's started the season well, with a moral-boosting 4 - 0 win over Magnificent X1, who are now named Chin up boys.

There were wo turning points of the season where the success of Euros hung in the balance. An essential 1 0 win over Chemistry and a scinterllating 4 - 3 win over close rivals Sub

Standard Liege. These close games could have made the difference in the fate of Euro's season.

The spirit in this league was good, and the games competitive. Maybe the best football was not seen in the games in Division 2 but the spirit award definatley goes to this league.

J- Unit and Chemistry, Law B and Sub Standard Liege not only put in some fine performances but made the league an enjoyable one.

A very close division was won by the team that had a few players that really stood out as top class footballers. Owain Mortimer was one of thsoe players. His vision and fast turn of pace drove the Euros team forward.

The league was close and it was players like him that made the difference between a winning team and a midtable side.

Saying that, the spirit of Euros was good and Captain Tarquini made sure turn out was also professional.

Euros ended as Champions but it was football that was the winner in this league!

Sean Neagle Sports Writer WINNERS: JOMEC A slow start to the season saw JOMEC begin to gel throughout phase one, building for their life in Division 4.

In phase two they worked well as a team, despite possessing a fairly new squad. Solid goalkeeping performances from Jack Hambleton meant they were able to build around a solid defence. An array of goals from the midfield and an especially strong season for Nick Fletcher meant Jomec finished on top.

BUCS - SPORT 31

gairrhydd | SPORT@GAIRRHYDD.COM MONDAY APRIL 26 2010

Lucy Morgan Sports Editor

With just two days to go until the biggest sporting event of the year, the excitement has been building in Cardiff.

Promotion has been in full swing for this year’s Varsity tournament.

Last week the Cardiff team made the most of the sunny weather and hired an open-top bus to drum up support

I bet he was hot!

from the student population. Covered in red body paint, the boys cruised the streets of Cardiff and, armed with a mega phone, the rugby team hurled promotional phrases at the unsuspecting public and generally made themselves heard.

Varsity fever is growing in Cardiff University as the teams prepare and fans book tickets to get down to Swansea.

Ahead of the match, the Cardiff boys are looking a pretty confident side. Cardiff centre, Ross Wardle – taking part in his first Varsity – said: “training’s going really well. All the boys seem to be peaking at the right time. We’re free of a lot of injuries at the moment that we’ve had in the past. Hopefully we can do them [Swansea] over again like we have in the past.”

The Cardiff team are certainly looking ready to take on Swansea this Wednesday but are under pressure to continue their winning run and secure the Varsity trophy for the third year in a row. The pressure doesn’t seem to be affecting the squad though and, if anything, is giving them more motivation to secure a victory: “There’s obviously a bit of pressure but that’s what we love”, commented Captain Mark Schropfer.

Things are certainly looking good for Cardiff and Varsity is once again building up to be a fantastic occasion – make sure you don’t miss out!

PHOTO: EMMA JONES

Varsitymania hits Cardiff in style!

RUGBY: Lads on tour

Swing when you're winning Challenge yourself Joel Clendinning Sports Writer

Cardiff University 2nd's Golf team took home the BUCS Western Conference Cup , following a nailbiting final match against Hartpury at the Vale Golf Resort.

The team comprised of Conor Brown, Mark Mansfield, Joel Clendinning, Lawrence Blair, Javier Rasul and Dale Bradley won 3.5 to 2.5 to clinch the title.

The team arrived at the course to what were not ideal golfing conditions, slightly breezy with mild showers forecasted. Both teams got off to a good start. Mark Mansfield despite losing the first four holes came back in emphatic style to win the next five to be one up at the turn. Winning eventually one up with a chip in on the 6th.

The first match was up and down from the first tee, with Joel hitting some close approach shots on the front nine. However, three back to back three putts cost him the game 3&2. Javier Rasul, with his driving letting him down, left himself too much to do against a worthy opponent to lose on the 13th. Dale Bradley, who has been a consistent player this year, yet again produced the goods to keep hopes alive. After losing 17 to go back to all square, Lawrence Blair did what he does best hitting the 500 yard par 5 18th with a drive and six iron to leave himself two easy putts for the match.

To avoid a play-off the team now put their hopes in Conor Brown who bravely fought his way back to one hole down with the 18th, still to play. At the 18th tee Browns opponent hooked his drive out of bounds.

Brown, after playing his 3rd shot long of the green, now needed an up and down for outright victory. Walking to his ball he composed himself like a professional to play unarguably the shot of the year -a quick twenty yard downhill chip, which hit the pin and sat to 3 inches of the hole - raising an explosive applause from the onlookers. Unsurprisingly the team celebrated in style with brilliant night out. We look to continue this success next year with a host of talented players.

James Hinks Sports Writer Fancy a challenge? Like sports?

How about trying the charity cycle ride from Brussels to London this July?

This event is put on by the sports charity Right to Play. They put on many events similar to this - such as the Edinburgh marathon, London Triathlon and dog sledging of all things. These events offer you a great opportunity to get fit, test yourself and raise money for charity. The MR TEE

GOLF: A sport for people of the same height

CYCLE CHALLENGE: Get involved !

Brussels to London cycle ride is the biggest charity event Right to Play have organised. It starts on the 4th of July. The ride goes through Bruges and stunning scenery and eventually finishing in London’s Greenwich Park with a celebrity barbecue.

The charity Right to Play work in some of the poorest areas around the world - helping develop communities, improve health-care and offer locals a chance to escape from hardships and enjoy playing sport.

So if you fancy this challenge of an event like this check out Right to Play.

Sport gairrhydd

INSIDE: The Word On...The F1 Title Race, Preview of the Heineken Cup Semi-Finals, plus BUCS and IMG Round-up

PHOTO: MARK CARLESS

Snowsports take to the slopes

Mark Carless Sports Writer

Picture the following scene: 2,500 students, all with a shared love of skiing and snowboarding, from universities all around the country, in a happening ski resort town, in exclusive accommodation for the week, armed with lift passes, an appetite to shred the mountain and an even healthier desire to have fun.

All this and more went down on the British University Snowsports Council organised Main Event Easter ski trip.

Main Event has to be one of the most unique experiences that Cardiff Snowsports are proud to offer. On the one hand it provides Cardiff’s best skiers and snowboarders the opportunity to measure themselves against the finest talent of the other universities in competition, for the others it is the holiday of a lifetime, and the chance to party it up hard in the playground that the mountains provide. So exactly what did the trip have in stall?

Firstly there’s the endurance coach journey that’s nearly always involved

on student ski trips. This year's event took place in Alpe d’Huez located in the French Alps providing a short, scenic drive through the entire French countryside! Fortunately the banter on the coach was first class and I’m fairly certain that everyone had perfected the permanent marker moustache drawing technique on one another, and the old surprise wake-up by the end of it. This was just as well considering the journey time was nearly 32 hours thanks to our little Welsh coach running into trouble. Although it sounds a long time the coach time really does fly by as everyone is really friendly and there is always someone to chat to.

With new ski buddies on board and an entire resort to explore, many of the Cardiff trip goers spent a full six days on piste ripping up the local runs. Considering a lift pass alone in Europe would normally cost more than the price of a student ski trip it really is one of the only ways to hit the Alps affordably. Fortunately the weather played fair game as well.

Fresh snow fell every single day and one afternoon in particular there was nearly knee high drifts on some runs which the more experienced amongst the group really put their mark on with

big carves, shooting snow spray up into the air!

Beginners were not disappointed either with nearly t-shirt weather on occasions making learning a pleasure rather than the stereotypical freezing your wotsits off whilst a crazy French instructor yells at you something about pizza or french fries!

Taking the lead of the ever increasingly popular music festivals sited in snowy locations, such as the legendary Snowbombing in Mayrhoffen ,the BUSC crew organised evening entertainment that would rival the best nights out in any University City around the country.

A line-up of the dubstep heavyweight Nero, crowd favourites The Urban Knights and the hard-hitting electro of the Stanton Warriors rocked the outdoor stages until well into the night with the permission of the local council.

This is no small feat in a town where the noise curfew is usually 10pm and the local gendarmes (military police) aren’t shy about letting you know.

Combined with nights out in the epic bars and the local drink 'Ricochet' (so called for its capability to make you bounce of walls) such a banging time

was had off the slopes it’s a miracle we had any ski time at all. Perhaps a diet of red bull and alpine air was the perfect tonic!?

In a year where the spotlight has been thrown on the Winter Olympics and skiing and snowboarding are both continually gaining more credibility as competitive sports, the fact that student competition in these areas is going from strength to strength can only be a good sign.

There is no better demonstration of this than Main Event, it being the final event of the competition calendar and the one and only time in the year Uni Snowsports clubs can compete on real snow.

Competitions took place across many disciplines including racing and freestyle, and the week was the perfect time for Cardiff’s team to step upwhich they did considerably. There was success for Grace McCutchan in the women’s skier-cross - if any of you saw the crazy four racers down a course full of jumps event that was included in the Winter Olympics this year then you’ll know what I mean.

Grace claimed silver and there was also medal success for the Cardiff snowboarders in the Team Dual Sla-

lom in which James Colston, Martin Riggs, Tom Clarke and Mark Carless also claimed silver-a terrific achievement for all concerned considering a competitive field made up of hundreds of students from universities all over the UK. Whilst it’s easy to get lost in all the fun of the week, the trip really summed up for me what Cardiff Snowsports is all about. The pursuit of skiing and snowboarding can mean so many different things to different people. Some like to ski hard be it for competition or leisure; others like to party harder using slope time as a temporary distraction from the more serious task of sessioning the bars.

However, just as there is a wealth of difference between dry-slope and knee deep powder or one plank or two, there is also a fundamental similarity in that for whatever reason people pursue winter sports, we are all brought together by our shared interest in them.

Friendships were fashioned, sex and scandal was everywhere but one thing’s for sure, the fond memories will remain long after the goggle tans fade. See you on the slopes!

GAIR RHYDD AND QUENCH MAGAZINE IS PUBLISHED BY UNIVERSITY UNION CARDIFF, PARK PLACE, CARDIFF CF10 3QN n REGISTERED AS A NEWSPAPER AT THE POST OFFICE n GAIR RHYDD RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT ALL CONTRIBUTIONS nTHE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE PUBLISHERS nGAIR RHYDD IS WRITTEN, DESIGNED, TYPESET AND OUTPUT BY STUDENTS OF CARDIFF UNIVERSITYn n JAMIE REFUSES INVITE TO TOUCH MY BOOBS DAY nONLY GAYS EAT ICE-CREAM n ROBBIE: I LOOKED UP BUTT MAGAZINE THE OTHER DAY JUST TO SEE IF IT WAS INDEED A REPUTABLE PUBLICATION n DAMIAN: I SPENT MY YOUTH WATCHING QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY - IT'S WHAT MADE ME THE MAN I AM n EMMA JONES: SOMETIMES I JUST GO TO CHURCH FOR THE FREE MEAL AFTERWARDS n

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