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ISSUE 868 MAY 05 2008 CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972

PHOTOS: Ed Salter


pty by day

stling by night, MAIN Em

Junction Bar: INSET Bu


Abigail Whittaker News Editor

Cardiff University Students’ Union (CUSU) has unveiled plans to develop social space and improve food provision in the building. The proposed changes, which are scheduled for completion over the coming summer months, will modify the Junction Bar and Buffers in Solus. Junction will be redeveloped into an open-plan learning environment, which will operate until early evening and feature a glass front to provide access to a balcony and outdoor seating. The main structural changes will include a relocation of the toilets into the main nightclub and the removal of the bottle bar to make way for a food provision area. A new staircase will be installed to provide easy access from Buffers (back

room in Solus) to CF10. In addition, the renovation will create small working areas and comfortable seating zones with internet access. However, the layout and the décor of the area are yet to be confirmed. The plans have been commissioned recently following the publication of results of this year’s Student Satisfaction Survey, in which the Union building was described as tired, claustrophobic and in need of a facelift. The move comes in preparation for the utilisation of the Great Hall as a part-time lecture theatre from September 2008. Increasing competition from venues in Cathays and the city centre has also led to a recent decline in the Union’s commercial trade. Considerations for food provision are still in the initial stages, with detailed market research set to be undertaken in the coming fortnight.

The SU’s Communications Department have been tasked with conducting face-to-face market research out on the street to discover whether or not students would like more food and drink provision and, if so, what kind and at what price. A web-poll and the use of Facebook will also aid the investigation. CUSU President Jonny Cox said: “The Student Satisfaction Survey provides the Union with priceless information about the experience students are having in the Students’ Union. “As you can see from the new plans for the Junction area, we are already acting upon this year’s results.” The sabbatical officers, who form the board of directors of CUSU, initially approved the plans. A proposal was then taken to Student Council on Tuesday April 29 and passed by approximately 40 students. The project will be paid for out of

Union ‘reserves’, which are designated for one-off projects. Funding will then be derived from Union capital, so that the overall cost can be spread over several years. A Union spokesperson said: “We do hope that in time other areas of the Union will be improved, but this is an independent project.” Work is expected to take place between June and September while students are on holiday. But there is a foreseeable clash with the graduation club-nights that the Union puts on in July. Union officials are aware of this issue and, if necessary, construction work will be boarded up so as not to impinge on the events. As yet no contingency plan has been confirmed should the work be incomplete at the start of the academic year 2008-2009. But executives have reassured stu-

dents that deadlines will be discussed with potential contractors and, should completion before the restart of term be impossible, then the project will not be embarked upon. CUSU Vice-President Rowena Vassallo supported the changes. She said: “We hope to create a more vibrant Students’ Union with a brighter, more welcoming atmosphere at all times of the day. “We hope that a more diverse range of students will spend more time in the Union, as we will be able to provide more places to relax in during the day as well as at night.”

Let us know what you think. Have your say at


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this week in gair rhydd: Features: Can you dress ethically for this year’s Summer Ball?

14 Jobs & Money: Job websites

Science & Environment: explain the scientific findings of Sir Martin Evans


. . . 8 0 0 2 s d r a w A y t e i c o S






An open mic night held last Monday (28 April) by two of Cardiff University’s biggest societies “proved a huge success”. £790 was raised for Cancer Research by Act One drama society and the Live Music Society (LMS). A turnout of 145 ensured a night of varied talent, which Act One member Charlotte Strange was eager to praise. She said: “We are very pleased as we had a great range of performers.” “I’m sure both societies would like to thank everyone who made the evening such a brilliant success,” she added. Acts included a one-hour comedy sketch and an unplugged set by Battle of the Bands winners Zenyth, who will also be appearing at the Summer Ball. Other appearances included a scene from Chicago performed by the Act One girls, and a boy band tribute from the boys. Andrew Penny, Area Volunteer Manager for Cancer Research UK praised the efforts of both societies. She said: “They organised a fantastic event and have given superb support to Cancer Research. “We rely on the generosity of our supporters to fund our world class research into preventing, diagnosing and treating cancer. Together with our partners and supporters, our mission is to beat cancer.”

Societies collaborate for charity fundraiser

BEST SOCIETY Debating Society

BEST SOCIETY PRESIDENT Shreenivas Raju - Yuva MOST COMMITTED MEMBER Matthew Rawlings - Student Scout and Guide Society BEST MARKETING STRAGEDY Battle of the Bands - Live Music Society

Glamorgan shall go to the ball Corinne Rhoades News Editor

Miss Universe contestant and Cardiff University student Trudy Churchill completed a charity sky dive last weekend. The contest is supporting the Joshua Foundation which pays for terminally ill children to go on holidays. Ms Churchill said: “Skydiving is my most exciting life experience yet and I raised £600 doing it.” Ms Churchill made it into the final of Miss Cardiff 2007 and has made it into the last 43 contestants in this year’s Miss Universe competition. Speaking of the contest that will be

Winners 2007-2008


Miss Universe finalist takes to the skies

Emma Barlow Reporter

Cardiff University Societies Awards


PHOTO: Ed Salter

Ceri Isfryn Reporter


held 4 May at Café de Paris in London, Trudy s a i d : “There will be four rounds including little black dress, bikini, formal wear and an interview where I get just three minutes to impress the judges.” There will be ten judges for the final this week, including two Arsenal footballers and Kemal from Big Brother 6. The winner gets a Vibe modelling contract, a New York apartment and a diary of international engagements. When asked about her chances Trudy said: “I’ve never had any modelling experience and I know most of the girls in the final have appeared in many magazines.” She added: “Fitting in my university work has been difficult but I’m just thinking about one thing at a time at the moment.”

Tickets for this year’s Cardiff University Summer Ball have been sold to students from Glamorgan University in a bid to maximise funds, gair rhydd can reveal. The Ball, which was reported to be fast-becoming the biggest solouniversity ball in the UK, has been advertised to Glamorgan students since April 17, around two months after tickets went on sale at the Cardiff University Students’ Union (CUSU) Box Office. According to a spokesperson from CUSU Entertainments Department, the organisers of the Ball, if 200 tickets are sold by Glamorgan University, which takes a £5 profit from each one, around £7,000 will be generated for the ball. This money will be used to provide new Summer Ball attractions, such as larger tents and a full fairground attraction.

The spokesperson said: “We did it two years ago and around 32 tickets were sold. Last year, when we didn’t do it, students from Glamorgan came and bought tickets from our Box Office anyway. “All we’ve done is formalise the agreement,” the spokesperson added. As of last Wednesday April 30, Glamorgan students had already snapped up 132 tickets. When the figure reaches 200, CUSU will “review” the situation. CUSU President Jonny Cox, was quick to reassure students that Glamorgan would have no control over the event. He said: “It’s not possible for Glamorgan to put on a ball on their own and we have the site and the capacity to do so. “Collaborative ventures like these are exactly what we should be looking to do in the future,” he added.

New acts revealed: n Viva Machine n Taio Cruz

BEST MUSICAL PERFORMANCE Battle of the Bands - Live Music Society BEST CULTURAL EVENT European Christmas Social French, German, Spanish, Italian, Polish and Erasmus Societies MOST IMAGINATIVE EVENT Beauty and the Beasting Panto - Act One BEST FUNDRAISING EVENT RAID - People and Planet BEST SOCIETY ACTIVITY Expeditions - Duke of Edinburgh’s Award Society MOST CHARITABLE SOCIETY RAG BEST WEBPAGE Jazz Society SOCIETY ACHIEVEMENT AWARD Erasmus Society PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARD Islamic Society

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Emma Jones Reporter Two Cardiff University students have been told they cannot sit their exam an hour earlier than timetabled in order to catch Cardiff in the FA Cup Final at Wembley. Nick Young and Jo Borley, the daughter of Cardiff City club director

Steve Borley, are missing their team’s clash with Portsmouth on May 17 due to a three-hour Managerial Accounting and Finance exam. The exam is due to finish at midday, which leaves the fans only three hours to reach Wembley in time for the 3pm kick off. The University stated that they have always held exams on Saturdays and

student, and Mr Young, an Economics and Finance student, asked to start their exam an hour earlier so they can catch an earlier train to London Paddington and have a better chance of getting to the game in time. A University spokesperson has said: “It would be unusual for any examination to be rescheduled following publication of the examination timetable.”

that there will always be students who are ardent fans sitting exams and missing the final. But Ms Borley said: “There is a massive difference between the teams that make it almost every year and the underdogs making the final.” It is the first time the Bluebirds have reached the final in 81 years. Ms Borley, a Business Management

Bursary for care students Sian Symons Reporter Cardiff University students are eligible for a £1,000 bursary and optional assistance if they declare themselves to have been in care. The scheme, which seeks to aid teenagers who are leaving care to go on to further education, is being offered to encourage them not to feel prevented by physical disabilities. The package offered includes a £1,000 bursary, a named mentor at the University’s Student Support Centre to discuss topics and issues that concern them, while accommodation requirements will also be arranged and discussed. The move to support those in leaving care is due to the fact that they are the least represented group in higher education, across the United

Kingdom, which was brought to light in government white paper ‘Care Matters’, which found that only six percent of those leaving care enter higher education. This, in contrast to the 50% of society as a whole which has gone on to further education, shows the startling disparity in opportunities between these groups. Cardiff University was awarded the Frank Buttle Trust Quality Mark because of its support for groups such as these. Cardiff was the first university to be awarded the mark and now other universities across Wales have started their own schemes.

Cardiff University and Chinese institutions join to research the causes and cures of cancer Wen G Jiang and Professor Howard Kynaston. Professor Wen G Jiang moved to Cardiff from China in 1989, and 17 years on became a Doctor of Medicine. He said: “There is very little effort in the world on cancer spread, which is surprising as that is the killing factor.” Mr Williams, who helped fund the scholarship, said: “China is providing some of the finest young medical scholars in the world and I am delighted to be able to support the ongoing initiative.”

Sian Symons Reporter Cardiff University has joined forces with institutions in China to attract medical scholars. It is hoped that working alongside talented Chinese scholars will improve research into the causes and cures of breast and prostate cancers. The Chinese Medical Research Scholarship has been set up at the University Hospital of Wales by Professor

Students demand change More choice n More diversity n Improved communication n Less alcoholic events

Corinne Rhoades Reporter Cardiff University students want more choice, more diversity and better communication, the results of the second universitywide Student Satisfaction Survey have shown. In March 2007, gair rhydd revealed that students wanted to see fewer flyers around the Union and major improvements made to sports facilities and relations with the Heath Park campus.

These were among the opinions gathered from the first ever Student Satisfaction Survey, which canvassed opinion from the entire student body in an effort to understand the overall experience of Cardiff students. But this year a decline in respondents reflects a similar decline in other areas of the Students’ Union (SU). Following the cancellation of Rubber Duck in March, events that took place in Solus this year, such as Access All Areas and RAID, were rated poorly.

The survey showed that respondents, who consisted of 9.8% of the student population, desired SU events to become more diverse, focus less on alcohol, and for more to take place during the day. Students did express satisfaction in other areas, however. In particular the new Union security staff were highly rated. While customer service in other areas of the Union, such as in the Jobshop, received a number of complaints, top of the list of last year’s grievances with Union and University-run services was

the quality of transport and sports facilities. This year, of the respondents who used the Athletic Union, there was a high level of satisfaction, although students rated the availability of information about activities and opportunities to join throughout the year as average or below. Communication from the SU was a hot topic in this year’s survey. Students called for a complete overhaul of the recently redeveloped website, as well as better advertising outside the

Union building, such as in halls of residence. Heath campus communication also came under scrutiny, with students expressing “worry” that the Union would close the MedClub. Union President Jonny Cox, said: “The more feedback we can get the better. “All the executive’s e-mail addresses are available on the website, and I would encourage students to get in contact with any of us if they would like to give us any feedback,” Cox added.






Med students top for jobs Samantha Shillabeer News Editor Medicine and Dentistry graduates have the greatest employment prospects, new research has revealed. 87% of medics and 83% of dentists go straight into work on completion of

their degrees and can expect average starting salaries of £30,000 and £28,000 respectively. These results come after a survey by The Independent looked into the varying job prospects for graduates of different subjects. The findings also showed that sci-

ence graduates are more likely to have higher starting salaries than their arts counterparts. Furthermore, students studying Economics, Social Work and Engineering can all expect to begin on at least £22,000. However, the survey found that less

than 30% of English, Sociology and Psychology graduates were employed in a graduate job six months after finishing university. Brian Heap, author of Good Degree Courses, claimed that science students have better job prospects because their courses are more likely to offer a sand-

Your Uni: your words Ruth Smith asks Cardiff students whether they feel their degree subject will add value to their eventual job prospects

PHOTOS: Jake Yorath

Becky Unwin First Year Law and French

Penny Gilg First Year Civil and Environmental Engineering

“I’d like go into management, so a person with a degree in that may be preferred over me. But university has been, and will continue to be, helpful to me.” “My subject leads straight to a job. Although the employment field is a tough one, a degree from Cardiff will stand me in good stead among the competition.”

Raee Ak Qhtari MA Physiotherapy

Daniel Wayt First Year Biology

Students in Wales miss out by millions Reports of a massive gap in public funding between UK higher education institutions reveal Welsh universities are left with less

“I already work at Heath Hospital as a specialist, but I’m planning to become a consultant. I trust that the Uni will help me to get the necessary qualifications.”

wich year. He said: “There is an 80-90% employment rate among students in sandwich courses.” He also added: “A lot of help is given to students on business and sciences degrees, such as how to write a good CV and how to give a good interview.”

Who’s employed and who’s not? Percentage of students in graduate jobs six months after graduation


Civil Engineering


Pharmacology & Pharmacy


Business Studies

“I specialised in Biology as that’s what I’m interested in. I feel the Uni will be there for me when I want to get a job, although I’m not really thinking about that yet.”





20% Law

Jonathan Evans Reporter Universities in Wales receive £61 million less in public funding than their English counterparts, a report released last week has revealed. The figures, released by the Higher Education Funding Council for Wales (HEFCW), show the gap to be widening; it is now up £40 million on the previous year. The settlement for Welsh higher education funding, set up in the recent comprehensive spending review, is lower than that of England and Scotland, leading many to expect a further gap between English and Welsh universities in the future. Compared to Wales, Scottish higher education also wins a higher share of research income than its proportion of students in higher education suggests. 34% of Scotland’s population have higher-level skills (a foundation degree or higher), in comparison to 26% in Wales.

Wales is currently situated at the bottom of the UK’s regional Research & Development tables, despite being referred to as a “small and clever country”. The Welsh Assembly Government has diverted some of the money it might otherwise have invested in universities by offsetting the top-up fees that were introduced recently. This policy was defended last week by First Minister of the Welsh Assembly Rhodri Morgan. A spokesperson for Cardiff University said: “The HEFCW recurrent (revenue) grant for Cardiff University is £110 million for 2007-8. The learning and teaching capital grant is £3.3 million. “However, it should be pointed out that these figures are not directly comparable to the HEFCW ‘funding gap’ report, which relates to 2005-6 and makes a number of a statistical adjustments to allow for differences between England and Wales.”

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WORLD NEWS World News in brief


Rome under new mayoral leadership Simon Lucey Reporter

Ruth Smith Reporter

Gianni Alemanno, the ex-street fighting neo-fascist leader, has comprehensively beaten the centre-left candidate Francesco Rutelli by almost 7% to become Rome’s new mayor. Alemanno, 50, the former youth leader of the neo-fascist Italian Social Movement (MSI) ran a campaign based on his 16-point “pact for Rome”, which included plans to “immediately activate procedures for the expulsion of 20,000 nomads and immigrants who have broken the law in Rome”. Silvio Berlusconi, the centre-right media mogul who won the country’s general election on April 13-14, welcomed the latest evidence of Italy’s rightward shift, declaring, “We are the new Falange.” The original Falange was the Spanish fascist party, founded in the 1930s. Italian politics is changing quickly. Last November, after Giovanna Reggini, a housewife from Rome, was brutally murdered walking home from the train station, the Mayor Walker Veltroni, demanded that Romando Prodi’s government pass a diktat mandating the expulsion of undesirable foreigners, even if they were from within the EU, without consulting the courts. This was soon followed by the demolition of migrant-worker squatter

Older and wiser

An 83-year-old woman has just graduated with a degree from Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo. Ruth Stoeffler said that she has been studying since 1995, taking a wide variety of classes until she finally earned a BA in Social Science Studies. The feat began shortly after the death of Mrs Stoeffler’s husband. Having already retired, she intends to use her degree to do volunteer work rather than start a new career.

Leap of faith

Baby come back A Swiss amateur parachutist has had a successful jump in a parachute which was designed by Leonardo da Vinci more than 500 years ago. Olivier Vietti-teppa believes his 2,130ft drop from a helicopter was a “perfect jump”. The parachute was made according to designs drawn by Da Vinci in 1485, but from modern fabric. The parachute opened at 600m.

Shark attack

A surfer was killed in Mexico after bleeding to death following a shark attack. The man was killed on Mexico’s southern Pacific coast, on the Troncones beach, after enduring a 15inch wound on his thigh from a gray shark. The US embassy in Mexico could not confirm the man’s name, but the 24-year-old was said to be travelling with a fellow American. Shark attacks are quite rare in Mexico.

Jonathan Evans Reporter The Vietnamese government has said it will end an adoption agreement with United States later this year, following accusations of corruption and baby selling. In 2003 Vietnam suspended adoption agreements with foreign countries in an effort to tackle corruption, before resuming adoption to the US in 2006, under a bilateral scheme. A recent report from the US embassy in Hanoi alleged that children had been illegally sold, with families being pressured to give up their babies. Vu Duc Long, Director of Vietnam’s International Adoption Agency, dismissed the report, claiming that it “includes a lot of distorted information”

and “is untrue”. The report, which was drawn up after US officials noticed an increase in the number of abandoned babies offered for adoption, said the US embassy had received “credible” information that some adoption agencies gave over £5,000 for each child that was referred. The end of the bilateral agreement between the US and Vietnam is estimated to lead to the closure of around 40 US adoption agencies. Although China is still the most popular country for US families adopting from abroad, the programme had attracted media attention when Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie adopted a child from Vietnam last year, a year in which 828 Vietnamese children were adopted to the US.

camps across the capital, resulting in chaos. Soon after the election, the man likely to become Mr Berlusconi’s foreign minister, Franco Frattini, continued to panic immigrants. He said: “We need a national law that establishes a minimum income below which foreigners cannot stay in our country for more than 90 days.” But Alemanno promises to be the “mayor of all Romans” and has sent telegrams to both the Pope and the Chief Rabbi. Rome’s Jewish community was shaken by the prospect of Alemanno, and it was the city’s old Jewish ghetto, where many Jews still live, that has seen the biggest protests against the

new mayor. Alemanno accused the Centre Left, which has been in power in Rome for 15 years, of giving its attention to film festivals and other events while neglecting crime, the key issue in the run up to the campaign.

Prisoner to sue in “starvation” claim

Oliver Lewis Reporter An overweight American prisoner is suing the authorities for “not feeding” him. Broderick Lloyd Laswell, while awaiting trial for murder after eight months in prison and after losing 45kg, is now preparing a legal case against Benton County Jail, Arkansas. Laswell claims that the prison meals are unsatisfactory and prisoners are “being starved to death”. But the prison has rebutted these allegations, stating that all meals served to inmates are of 3,000 calories, the US recommended daily intake for adults. According to his legal suit, Laswell weighed 29 stone after his arrest in September.

He dropped down to 22 stone over the following eight months. Laswell has also noted several side effects of the alleged mistreatment. He said: “On several occasions I have started to do some exercising and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out. “About an hour after each meal my stomach starts to hurt and growl and I feel hungry again,” he added. Laswell also claims that his significant weight loss has little to do with any physical activity because effective exercise is not possible in the space available. Laswell said: “If we are in a small pod all day and do next to nothing for physical exercise, we should not lose weight.” His suit is seeking punitive damages of an undisclosed amount.

OCTOBER.22.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM




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OCTOBER.22.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM





freewords Est. 1972

Solus gets a facelift The plans for a redevelopment of Junction Bar and Buffers (the back room) in Solus will see a series of changes for our nightclub, which seems to have remained the same for years. While the changes look promising, however, it is important to point out that this renovation should not be interpreted as a comprehensive revamp of Solus the nightclub. The plans are instead aimed at finding a new way of using space that is wasted during the daytime. The whole area of Solus occupies a great deal of space that is largely unused during the day. A chameleon bar, which functions as a cafe and social space during the day and an extension of the club at night, therefore seems like the perfect solution. The chameleon bar will also join with CF10 via a new staircase, linking two cafe areas and, potentially, offering a new dimension to the Solus clubbing experience. Despite all of these positive factors, however, there remain a few issues raised by the plans that have not, as yet, been resolved. Much of Solus’s popularity rests upon the fact that it offers two or three different types of music - the main room, DJs by the Junction bar, and live music in Buffers. Whether or not the area will still be able to host bands and/or DJs is unclear, although it seems reasonable to assume that the seating could be removed for this. Solus itself, meanwhile, is still in dire need of a good spruce up, not only for the sake of cosmetic improvement, but to ensure its survival. The demise of Rubber Duck has been the most crippling blow dealt to Solus in recent years, and many have blamed the loss of students to the city on the rise of multimillion-pound nightclubs such as Oceana. It is a sad fact that Solus cannot compete with the sheer financial muscle of these hi-gloss corporate chains. Solus can, however, offer an experience that is authentically and exclusively student orientated and that consistently offers a lively, vibrant atmosphere, easily sidestepping the sterility of McClubbing. By playing to our strengths, and capitalising on Solus’s student identity, there’s no reason why the club shouldn’t remain successful. But a makeover, a proper makeover, wouldn’t go amiss either...

Correction Last week’s interview with Conservative Future was incorrectly attributed to Craig Duncan. Editor Amy Harrison Deputy Editor Ben Bryant Co-ordinator Elaine Morgan News William Taylor Abigail Whittaker Samantha Shillabeer Corinne Rhoades


Hate Mail

There’s one national newspaper that Jamie Thunder really doesn’t like very much at all


ruly, we live in enlightened times. Times of tolerance, reason and respect. A time when bookshops have sections devoted to “Painful Lives” (Waterstone’s) or “Tragic Life Stories” (WH Smith) and when minor celebrities can go about their daily dogging with the promise of a lucrative Sunday supplement deal detailing their sex shame and personal hell. Or so Labour’s far-left cronies would have you believe. Thankfully, in spite of this relentless propaganda campaign there still exists one fortress of fury, heroically spewing into the PC-infested abyss the True Thoughts of everyday, average law-abiding Brits. Not those of the immigrants. Definitely not those of the immigrants. It’s not The Express; that’s easily dismissed as a curio, disturbingly obsessed with decomposing female bodies (yes, the People’s Maddy is dead, and has been for some time) and scroungers who use taxpayers’ money to fund their lavish lifestyles. Or the Royal Family, as they’re popularly known.

Show me a man who thinks The Daily Mail has any semblance of objectivity and I’ll show you an illiterate

ALL HEIL: A motion is carried at The Daily Mail’s AGM

No, the dead tree that no selfrespecting bigot can be seen without these days is, of course, the unthinking man’s Telegraph: The Daily Mail. Primarily, it’s for people who are too busy combating the evil forces of bureaucracy to form their own opinions, preferring instead to take the Mail’s stance. Conveniently, this stance is outlined in just about every blaring headline: “The Great Passport Giveaway” it brayed one week; “£100 Billion Gamble With Your Cash” the next. The liberal elite who run Britain would have you believe that the Daily Mail is racist, xenophobic, and homophobic. They’ll point to the legendary headline “Hurrah for the Blackshirts”, or an e-mail sent by the Daily Mail journalist Diana Appleyard explicitly requesting “anonymous horror stories of people who have employed Eastern European staff, only for them to steal from them, disappear, or have lied

Investigations Lee Macaulay Politics Tim Hewish Editorial and Opinion Chris Croissant Huw Davies Columnist Josie Allchin Spot George Pawley Jack Zorab Stephen Florey Pete Dean

Scott D’Arcy Listings Josie Allchin Dan Jones Letters Emily Akers GRAB Tom Bentley Hannah Gurney Jobs and Money Jess Best Science & Environment Sophie Cole Features

about their resident status”. But the Daily Mail has a duty to inform and educate the British public about these issues; it’s in no way to do with an agenda. Other unpatriotic commentators have declared that the Daily Mail is obsessed with the idea that Britain is going to Hell in a handcart. It isn’t. Britain is already out of the handcart and into the Hell. “Fagin’s heirs” have created a new market for child slavery; Gordon Brown steals your money to pay for improved public services; and militant PC activists threaten our traditional British values of repressed homosexuality and putting our parents in a home by suggesting that we be nicer to each other. Guardian-reading, latte-swilling middle-class traitor Nick Angel recently went 28 days reading only the Daily Mail in a study of its effects on a dangerous Labour-sympathiser’s psyche. He was left scared to leave his house, terrified of the Romanian

James Temperton Jenny WIlliams Emma Thomas Problem Page Ted Handsome Television TV Guy TV Mariam TV Tim TV Sarah Lonely Hearts Queenie Five Minute Fun Narelle Picture Editor

Ed Salter Online Editor Paul Springett Sub Editor Graeme Porteous Proof Readers Aisling Tempany Laurel Burn Amy Chesterfield Neil Fairbrother Osian Haines Kieran Harwood Contributors Ceri Isfryn

gangsters who stalk the streets of little England. And that’s exactly the idea – as one sub-editor advised a Daily Mail journalist, “the ideal story will leave you hating something or someone”.

It’s a propaganda machine – one that patronises its readers by feeding them its prejudiced, nasty opinions It’s easy to be critical of the selfstyled brayhole of Britain. There are its contradictions for starters: is Britain a bleak, desolate wasteland overrun by knife-wielding politically correct types? Or is it a glorious, romantic land; Shakespeare’s “sceptred isle”? Then there’s its steely determination to Emma Barlow Emma Jones Sian Symons Jonathan Evans Ruth Smith Simon Lucey Oliver Lewis Jamie Thunder Scott Hadley Magdalene Quartey Ted Shiress Gareth Ludkin James Hinks Scott D’Arcy Jack Zorab

single-handedly prove the hypodermic needle model of media communication right, with its regular attempts to instigate moral panic among the masses. Show me a man, as the saying should go, who thinks the Daily Mail has any semblance of objectivity or reality and I’ll show you an illiterate. Or an old lady who smells of cats. Or an illiterate old lady who smells of cats. Or an old lady who smells of illiterate cats. Newspapers have a responsibility to the public. They have a responsibility to educate them, to inform them, and to provide them with pictures of nubile bare-chested 18-year-olds. The Daily Mail does none of these. It’s basically a propaganda machine – one that patronises its readers by feeding them its prejudiced, nasty opinions. So please, for the love of God, Mohammed, Buddha or Richard Dawkins (delete as appropriate), ban this sick filth from our newspaper stands once and for all to make Britain a better place, and you a better person.

Adam Gasson Neil Fairbrother James Perou Ben Walker Matt Maletroit Mark Hampton Tomos Parry Jon-Paul Phillips Stavros Grigorias

Address University Union, Park Place, Cardiff, CF10 3QN Web Email Advertising 02920 781 474 Location 4th Floor Students’ Union

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Junk the ban?

Scott Hadley blames the parents, not the pester power


’m lucky enough not to have a child, but if I did I like to think I’d be able to resist its plaintive little wails for chips and fish fingers seven times a week. The idea of a 9pm watershed for junk food advertising is one of the most insulting and ludicrous things I have ever heard. The phrase is ‘pester power,’ right? The idea is that parents feel so required to succumb to their child’s every whim that they purchase whatever the advertisers manage to stick into the breaks between the appalling (and usually imported) programming that is aimed at children nowadays. It’s even been said that the shows for children are nothing more than filler between the Barbie ads and so forth, but surely that’s taken as read on a commercial TV channel. The point of television is to deliver a certain demographic to a set advertising space at a certain time (if you look at it from a purely capitalist point of view) and if McCain’s Oven Dinosaurs are aimed at five to ten year olds who like eating food shaped like giant lizards, then surely they will want to advertise at a time when these children are watching. So, whack on the 9pm watershed and all you get is (theoretically) adverts for toys between kids’ shows – products

that usually use ludicrously low cost production methods in the Far East and encourage ridiculous gender ideas. Junk food appeals to everyone: show me a child that doesn’t smile when they see a plate of peas and reconstituted dirty meat (that’s a biased vegetarian viewpoint there, feel free to ignore the adjectives) framed by a pile of potatoes cut into the shape of letters and I’ll show you a child without a soul. Junk food is there to entertain, to amuse children by its strange shapes and colourful additives. If a child doesn’t eat, it’s better to fill it up with something than let the fussy brute starve, right?

The point of television is to deliver a certain demographic to a set advertising space I realise that so far this argument hasn’t made any decisive points, but is there really a right side to take? OK, crap food is surely a cause of childhood obesity, but that’s not the fault of the advertisers; it’s their job to sell as much as they can, and if the demographic

most likely to want this happens to be children then why should anyone vilify them?

Junk food is there to entertain Vilify the parents, or the kids themselves, for the consumption; for falling for the advertising ploys and for not eating a balanced diet or exercising enough. The idea of free speech surely means that one can preach one’s message (within reason) to whomsoever one chooses, and it is the responsibility of those being preached at to listen and take what they want from it. So the average parent has no power to refuse their child junk food – is that what the Government is saying? Has the country become such a pit of consumption that we cannot watch an advert and resist its power? Because that’s what the Government is implying by even hinting they may bring in this watershed. It’s a joke. I mean, I’ve seen Carling adverts in the break in The Simpsons, so either the Government bans everything that could be detrimental to kids or it bans nothing. Let people decide what they buy, and at least give them the chance to see the available options. Or just make it really cheap to advertise sprouts…

Time’s up

‘Stressed’ students abuse the exam system, says Magdalene Quartey


am not against someone whose parent has died recently before their exams being given extra time and/or marks. In fact, most people would be unlikely to actually sit an exam in such circumstances, but if they do, there is nothing unfair about being given an advantage in the form of extra marks. What troubles me is that students can claim extra time, or even marks, for being ‘stressed’ on the day of the exam. Hello, am I missing something? Doesn’t every student feel stress under exam conditions? Aren‘t we distressed when we think we can‘t remember when Hitler invaded Russia or remember a quote from Chaucer?

Doesn’t every student feel stressed under exam conditions? I’m not saying it’s right, but for some reason exams have been designed to put students under pressure to test how well we cope. If stress is such a huge problem, then why isn’t

every student willingly asking for extra time or appealing for extra marks? Some excuses seem to border on the ridiculous. It might sound harsh, but how is your hamster dying going to affect your performance? OK it’s distressing, but come on. Perhaps the worst one yet is students who complain of a headache. It sounds like a humourless joke to me. There are students battling through serious illness who don’t ask for help, yet you get those with outrageous excuses. “One of the things that concerns me is that the reward in terms of marks that can be gained for a very substantial problem, such as a terminal illness, isn’t hugely different from that awarded for a headache, or indeed a temporary bout of hayfever.” This statement from Chris Howard of the National Association of Head Teachers is more than disturbing. I fail to see how a headache can be rewarded with the same number of marks as a terminal illness. Maybe there are people who do get overwhelmingly stressed and can’t help it, and in those cases appealing for extra marks doesn’t seem unjustified, but it seems to me like others are taking advantage of the generosity

of the system to compensate for their lack of preparation for exams. Katie Ivens of the Campaign for Real Education said: “if we want to restore fairness, exams should be fair, because what they should test is the children’s knowledge and their ability actually to do the exams under exam conditions, which are designed to ensure fairness for all.”

I fail to see how a headache can be rewarded with the same number of marks as a terminal illness Fundamentally, I disagree with how exams always test students’ ability to remember – a stupid idea considering that memory doesn‘t work well under pressure. It is clear that the system needs scrutinising, otherwise this abuse is going to continue. Guidelines should be set up and reinforced, and the factors that qualify for an appeal need careful reconsideration as well.

RONALD: “Not guilty, Your Honour”

Cardiff, Disability and me

Humanities students = slackers? Ted Shiress takes on the naysayers


apologise; after two of my most diverse and risqué columns I feel like a barren desert where inspiration is water. My god! Was that not a beautiful simile? I should be an English student. Oh, hang on… I think I am! Yes, that’s right; I’m sure those lecture things I go to once or twice a week are based on Language and Communication. You know? That subject which medics, engineers and science scholars feel the need to routinely rip into, saying that it doesn’t merit a full degree; blah, blah, blah. It’s a fine and valid joke between pals, but gets rather tedious when included in the paper. I read the co-editor of this wonderful section’s letter about Piers Thompson’s rant on graduation and how he thinks us Humanities students are unworthy. I have heard this argument many a time, and I feel I should throw in my penny’s worth. People often forget that we are not naïve; we know our degrees are (comparatively) piss easy and we take our hats off to you. Well done, you do a much harder degree; have a pint. Oh, what’s that? You can’t? You’re studying? Now, I hope I don’t get my knackers used as knockers for saying this, but my best friend Mel, who studies a hardcore science degree and does my weekly shopping on Friday, came to me last Friday as stressed as anything and

definitely not her normal patient kind self. Quite frankly, it scared me how stressed she was! Now, some of us may have had enough of that 9-5 lifestyle at A-level (I know I did!) and may want a change, plus we may have other struggles in our lives we need to deal with (like a physical disability!); are we that wrong to pursue a lighter degree? Especially when we are actually interested in English (no, honestly – we are!). To be frank, I am glad my workload is not unbearably heavy. I still find essays to keep me occupied, and these do take me longer than most students. Coming to university as a student with no experience of being in a fully ‘able-bodied’ environment, I knew I had to adjust. It took me about a year and a half to feel fully comfortable where I am, with friendships and certain activities which I do in my free time. I just would not have managed a much heavier workload. That would have meant more time sitting alone at the back of lecture theatres because I cannot climb the stairs and less time to go out and make friends because there is no chance in the isolated block you live in. Both factors would not be an issue if it were not for my mobility problems. I like my workload. I’m not arguing that it is tough and I am giving you credit, it’s just I do not think that your workload would suit me; so what’s the problem?






chin and tonic


...Your occasional COLUMNIST



rdinarily, posing naked in a shop window in Central London, being watched by unsuspecting members of the general public, and being filmed for a hit Channel 4 show would not be something that comes easily to a middle aged woman. Let alone one who had had previously little or no self-esteem, and is not what we would call, if we were being honest, a flat-stomached fitty. But one man has the power to change this. One man apparently has the ways and wiles that charm any self-loathing lady into stripping for national television, and what’s more – this man has the power to make the woman love every minute of it, and more importantly, herself. This man is Gok Wan, and Gok – I love you. I want him to be my stylist and I want him to be my best friend. Hell, I’d even marry him and have his babies if he wasn’t as gay as a man-bag full of rainbows.

there would be tears, tears of shame induced by what can only be described as bullying. Yes, the woman looked stunning at the end of each show, and we’d all gasp in admiration, but one knock to her fragile exterior will only reveal that deep down this woman hasn’t truly changed, not in the way that matters anyway. Gillian McKeith, although not strictly a fashion advisor, still has a lot to answer for in the negative approach to a “better you” and is quite possibly the worst one of them all. Humiliating and impractical (I mean who has mung beans and goji berries lying around in their cupboard?), she beats her subjects down to a cacau bean-pulp and treats them like naughty children.

She beats her subjects down to a cacau-bean pulp and treats them like naughty children

Sure, Gok Wan’s approach may seem a bit forward to some, and just down-right shocking – the first time I watched it I was somewhat stunned, if a little traumatised by the frequent sight of topless middle aged women bearing all, but you know what, the fact that they’ve got the confidence to do it speaks volumes. Last week’s episode saw him bury his head in poor Karen’s from Portsmouth cleavage and then throw her underwear overboard the HMS Victory. The overall value of this is questionable, but it scored some laughs, most importantly from the woman herself - the gesture was encouraging and positive in a lighthearted and genuine way. So if the fashion media needs anything right now, it’s that man with odd hair and glasses off the telly, with his army of body confident women not afraid to show the world what they’ve got.

But why fill almost a whole page banging on about the man who loves, er, bangers? Well, because the attitude that this man embodies has the potential to save the female population from becoming overpowered and disillusioned by the size-zero models who set the benchmark for normality, he can save women from living lives driven by the disgust of their own bodies and make them love themselves for who they really are. And this surely, is a very good thing indeed. A google search of ‘body image’ revealed that, apparently, young girls in America are

Deep down this woman hasn’t really changed more afraid of becoming fat than they are of nuclear war, getting cancer or losing their parents, and that 35% of occasional dieters progress into ‘pathological dieting’ (i.e. dieting that’s bad for you). The same search exposed that after viewing pictures of skinny fashion models, seven out of ten women felt more depressed and angry then they did prior to viewing the images. At a time like this, a man like Gok is our much needed superhero. How to Look Good Naked, Gok Wan’s flagship TV show, has marked a revolution in the style, fashion and beauty tips genre, and takes a whole new approach to revitalising and revamping the women who have lost all their self confidence and belief in the gorgeousness of their own bodies, whatever size or shape they are. Where someone might see a larger than most lady, Gok Wan would see a

‘Booty Beauty’ or a ‘Busty Belle’ with a ‘fantastic pair of bangers’. (According to his online style consultation, I’m a ‘Classic Cone’, the same as Cameron Diaz and Naomi Campbell. Whoa yeah.) He doesn’t make the woman diet insanely and follow a tough, impractical exercise regime – instead he teaches them how to look after themselves and dress in a way that compliments their shape and makes use of what they’ve got, not what they will have or should have. All of this is done with a positive reinforcement and gentleness that has been lacking from previous shows of the same type – a method that I can’t understand why hasn’t been exploited sooner. Trinny and Susanna – the very names make me shrivel up inside with a sense of inferiority and paranoia. Even the title of their TV show is negative – What Not To Wear. In nearly every episode



t the moment I seem to be sharing my life with my next door neighbours, or rather my neighbours are encroaching rather unpleasantly on mine, uninvited and unforgiving in almost everything I do around my house. They are unbelievably noisy. My housemates and I can hear pretty much everything they get up to, resulting in what can only be described as having sort of halfhousemates, twilight dwellers in our own home.

Who they are is still a mystery to us, even after living on this street for eight months. We only know that one of them is called “John”, and we know this because he knocked on our door asking when bin day was. He introduced himself and shook my hand. Apart from the existence of “John”, we’re still unsure as to how many others live there and indeed, who on earth they are. There’s ‘ChavBoy’, so-called because of his chav like dress sense (as observed through our kitchen window, and into theirs)

- ‘Chav-Boy’, we think, also has the room next to my housemate upstairs and plays the most awful music. Really bass heavy drum n’ bass that penetrates through our walls, through our earplugs and makes ripples in our tea. It’s so loud. Not only that, between September last year and just after Christmas, one of them had a girlfriend, and quite obviously so, if you catch my drift. Sunday evenings always used to be the favoured time for, um, enjoying each other’s company and

trust me it wasn’t pretty. And the drugs? Well we’ve actually got no proof of this, but it really wouldn’t surprise me. So are they students? We’ve never seen them go to lectures. Are they “young professionals”? Don’t be silly! So basically, we think that they run a brothel, or live off their drug dealing profits. Believe me, if you lived with us and our halfhousemates, you wouldn’t think these were unfair assumptions.


"Where did all the police go?”


s a question I found myself asking the other day when I was casually strolling down Woodville Road. I wasn’t expecting a huge parade of the Boys in Blue, and nor was I in need of one at the time, but as my walk took me across Minny Street and past the Balti Cuisine, I spotted two very busy and smug looking traffic wardens.

I’ve seen more traffic wardens than I have police officers Now, not only a few days before did I see two other different traffic wardens parading around the same area, and, even on my uneventful and relatively traffic-crime free street have there been several fluorescent coated bodies bobbing up and down between car bonnets. And then it struck me - I’ve seen more traffic wardens patrolling the streets of Cardiff than I have proper police officers. Wouldn’t Cathays benefit far more by having the same number of police officers looking after our streets than being drowned out by, in the grand scheme of things, singularly useless traffic wardens? As we all know, the crime rates in Cathays and Roath are extremely high, and perhaps the presence of more visible police officers would, if not lower crime rates, put our minds at rest as well.

*Real name Josie Allchin.

12 gairrhydd



LETTERS@gairrhydd.COM More Graduation Uproar Dear gair rhydd, I am writing in response to Piers Thompson’s rant about graduation in Issue 866. After being shown the graduation letter in gair rhydd by an angry music undergraduate, I feel compelled to respond. Firstly, I am under the impression that the main objective of studying for a degree is to learn, to acquire knowledge, and then to apply this knowledge in the real world and to pass it on to other people whether as a doctor, as a teacher, or in any other capacity relevant to your degree. I was surprised therefore to read that Piers seems to believe that the


‘umpteen thousands of pounds worth of tuition fees’ he pays are all in fact meant to be put towards his graduation ceremony. While graduation is a very significant day and the ceremony is symbolic of the hard work that ALL students put into their degree, I am not sure that the brief troop across the stage of St David’s Hall is really going to be ‘the defining moment of life’, regardless of how many sandwiches are provided afterwards. The second and most important aspect of the letter that I take issue with is his belittling of English literature students. Insulting all humanities subjects by association as well as any other undergraduate degrees that last for ‘only’ three years is arrogant. What right has he imply that teaching is not as valid a profession as medicine?

How would he ever have learnt the skills he requires to become a doctor without someone to teach them to him, at school (including the English skills he needed to get to university in the first place) and at university? Nicola Loten

Student apathy? Dear gair rhydd, I initially wanted to write this as a complaint about the apathy of today’s students after I attended a national protest against what I consider to be an unequivocally appalling development in the history of Wales- the welcome-mat of £14billion that the UK government has paid to a consortium of arms

companies in the development of a military academy here in St Athans, South Wales - and once again noted the exceptionally poor student turnout. I have often been underwhelmed by the student presence at any number of local and national protests. But after attending last Saturday’s Societies Awards, where the multitude of creative capacities that our Union encompasses were celebrated at the highest level, I was reminded of the creativity, imagination and power that students possess when working in solidarity. We have demonstrated that we clearly have the power to construct innumerable positive effects when we want to. Why then, does this capacity not translate to arguably more pressing political issues with longer-term impacts, such as protesting against the introduction

This week Ted Shiress has been causing controversy with his latest column... Cardiff, Disability and Me · Issue 867 Lara : Apr 27, 10:42 am Lately this column hasn’t been an insight into disabled students at university, but a crass view of one randy drug doing student. By all accounts Ted Shiress’s life is more exciting than anyone elses in university. No one else though, I doubt, would be given space to write an article specifically discussing the way they put a condom on, and how long it takes them to ‘erupt.’ This piece was not informative or anything, it was just disturbing and contained far too much personal information to be comfortable. Incidentally, does this woman actually know you’ve written about your mutual sex life in the 20,000 read student newspaper? Interesting that the only other comment on this column also seems to find it distasteful. Ted : Apr 28, 10:57 am AT LAST!! AFTER A YEAR OF TRYING I GET SOME RESPONSE!!! IT TOOK DRUGS, IT TOOK SEX, BUT FINALLY!! SUCCESSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Oh, and, this was proof read by my ‘mutual friend’ and she said it was great! slump : Apr 28, 11:44 am Move over carrie bradshaw… Ted shiress does sex in the city. Here we have an opinion column, showing the trials and tribulations of the life of one student at cardiff, if it

gets people talking, then i don’t see the problem. Congrats on beating me to it, you little smutbag. — Lara : Apr 28, 12:39 pm — ‘AT LAST!! AFTER A YEAR OF TRYING I GET SOME RESPONSE!!! IT TOOK DRUGS, IT TOOK SEX, BUT FINALLY!! SUCCESSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Oh, and, this was proof read by my ‘mutual friend’ and she said it was great!’ You’re honestly proud of that? Maybe you never got any comments because it just wasn’t very good. Jon : Apr 28, 12:56 pm This is more appropriate for an internet blog than a “credible” newspaper. Unless of course you return to writing about issues like accessibility. I don’t want to know about your sex life, just like I don’t want to know about anyone else’s sex life. Telling me that you “erupt” by having a girl put a condom on you for you leaves me feeling almost violated. Why you would take pride in writing about it quite frankly baffles me. Mark : Apr 28, 01:20 pm I think we may have inadvertently stumbled upon the latest internet sex fetish; cripple sex. Hell, I’d watch it. It’s got to be better than ‘2 girls 1 cup’, though that too had a certain charm. ted : Apr 28, 02:13 pm Mark, a tad unjust I feel, less of the cripple crap would be appreciated. Yes, i invite my friends to use terms like that in jest, but i do not

believe i have had the pleasure of meeting you, and i’m sure it’ll be some pleasure indeed. Look, I can only rant about accessibility for so long. Part of the point of this column is to say I’m just like anyone else, i get drunk, i may experiment with weed and i may now and then crave a bit of rumpy pumpy. Yet having a disability these things are slightly different for me, and sometimes it is important to realise i am as perverted as any other 20 year old. How do you think i feel to see attractive able-bodied guys walk into Solus alone, and walk out with some insanely attractive blonde with half her chest hanging out?? Especially as that blonde gave me a funny look as i almost tripped up on the way to the toilet an hour before?? This is why i write about such issues, and if you don’t agree, by all means don’t read it. andy tweddle : Apr 28, 11:29 pm i for one would like to congratulate ted on losing the v plates. don’t pay any attention to all these guys who want to keep gair rhydd high brow – give a shit. look at tv etc, gair rhydd is so esteemed because of it’s tongue in cheek style. keep on trucking, ted! a.x luc : Apr 28, 11:36 pm ted, keep up the good work – and im not just talking about the writing. thoroughly enjoyed your column this week, and i reckon if it got people reading then thats a good thing. at the end of the day ‘accessibility’ gets old. We want to hear about

of an international privatised killing academy in our back garden? For the sake of my own sanity I have decided that, in this instance at least, this is not due to apathy or defeatism, but lack of awareness. We have failed to inform the public about the issue. This can be begun to be remedied by reading more at www.cynefinywerin. Meanwhile, I implore all those with more than a fleeting interest in the world to cast their nets wider and look to join a group who work to confront and campaign on such issues. There is even one in your very own student’s union. It is called People and Planet and it needs more people who care and can make a change. I now know that there are many such people, right here in Cardiff. E. Bridger


your real experiences, not about ramps… Rasputin : Apr 30, 10:12 am But then I think it’s good that Ted’s showing it’s not out of the ordinary. As important as it is that his column discusses issues of mobility, attitudes, access and the like, I think it’s reasonable to point out occasionally that disabled students are still students. The column’s not meant to be just a big cry for sympathy. Also, both times there have been disability issues at heart: Ted experienced a fascinating change in his body when under the influence of drugs, and addressed the physical issues – difficult for some, disturbing for others – behind a man with his condition having sex. Personally, I’d have liked to see them emphasised a bit more than “Wahey, I got laid last night” but there you go. There’s still food for thought in the article. Jim : May 1, 02:00 pm Surely if you don’t like it, don’t read it. There, now everyone’s happy. Chris R : May 1, 02:00 pm — If you all want to hear more about ‘accessibility’, then maybe you should consider the fact that sex, for some people, is an issue of accessibility. Ted’s column is all about discussing issues that a lot of people may take for granted,like the accesibility of certain buildings, and yes, sex too.

gair rhydd


ISSUE 867 APRIL 28 2008 CARDIFF’S STUDENT WEEKLY free word - EST. 1972








All the results from last week’s tournament p.40-48 PHOTO: Ed Salter

5 VICTIMS 5 ATTACKS 1 DAY Investigations continue into five street robberies which took place within 24 hours in the student areas of Cathays and Roath

THIS ISSUE: breakdancing high contrast save the point urban formality shoot

William Taylor News Editor Police in Cardiff are investigating five street robberies that took place within 24 hours in Cathays and Roath. The robberies occured between 9pm and 1am on April 16 and 17. Attacks were made on both Lucas Street and Bruce Street. There were two further assults on Maindy Road and another between Crown Way and New Zealand Road. Three males have been arrested and bailed for further inquires. The victims of the attacks are all aged between 16 and 24 and three of them are students. Student Liaison Officer PC Bob Keohane was quick to emphasise that the attacks were not related to the victims being students. The two on Wednesday 16 took place in close proximity, within five minutes of each other, which has led PC Keohane to believe “there is information to suggest that the attacks came from the same group of youths”. However PC Keohane stressed that “crime was definitely going down in Cathays” and the recent spate of attacks was unusual for the area, which usually has low crime rates for street robbery. Victims of the attacks were all subject to alleged assault, two of which claim to have

been threatened with a knife. All of the victims had personal items including mobile phones and wallets stolen. Detective Inspector Chris Mullane, head of Cardiff Central CID, said: “I would like to reassure the community that Roath and Cathays are safe places, and patrols have also been increased in the area to provide extra reassurance.” Aline Ungewiss, a third-year Journalism student, was walking home on the evening of Wednesday 16 when she was stopped by the police who warned her and her boyfriend to look out for “a gang of young hooded males”. Since 2007, Special Police Constable Sam Tappenden has been heading up the Student Police Initiative, a group which the Police claim has helped in the overall reduction of crime in Cathays. Tappenden has offered advice to students who may be concerned following the recent assaults.

Continued on page 4:

gair rhydd investigates student safety and reviews Cardiff’s crime statistics


Got something you would like to say? Log on to or email: letters






Gordon faces a Black Thursday

Gareth Ludkin discusses Lord Levy’s remarks about Brown’s ability to lead and the public’s growing dissatisfaction with the PM


t is a testing time for Gordon Brown, a leader who appears to be on ever-unstable ground, as this article is being penned the local elections on May 1 are looming. For the Labour party these are elections that come amid a crisis of dissatisfaction within the party rank and file and more worrying throughout the general public. The elections have also come at a time when Brown’s leadership has been questioned, most recently over the 10p tax cut, with its negative effect on the disadvantaged, which received scathing comments by Lord Levy. Labour’s ability to govern the whole of the UK looks in jeopardy, going on local election predictions. By the time you read this you will know the results, but as it stands the latest polls suggest that Labour is heading for defeat. The pollsters predict the loss of 200 council seats and the London mayoralty. As for Lord Levy’s comments and all political attacks, timing is the key. The attack comes from the book he has written, which unsurprisingly is being serialised in the Daily Mail, for all its juicy anti-Labour gossip. The Daily Mail has adorned her pages with the suggestions by Lord Levy that there is a lack of strong lead-

Lord Levy says Blair told him that he believed that Brown could not beat Cameron in an election

BROWN FACES A SLUMP AS ELECTIONS LOOM ership within the Labour party and that Tony Blair openly told Lord Levy that he believed that Gordon Brown could not beat David Cameron in a general election. A spokesman for Tony Blair emphatically denies these suggestions, which do sound particularly outlandish for the departed Labour leader. It appears to be Lord Levy trying to stick a spanner in the works; or indeed the Daily Mail stirring up a storm.

What is for certain is that Labour backbenchers are becoming restless so too is the general public. It is a troubling time for Labour supporters, with the public shift towards the Conservative, as the Tories storm to the centre ground on politics and policy seems increasingly cemented. The results will have backed or contradicted the aspersions made by Lord Levy and if Labour loses London, it will be an incredibly steep climb for

Gordon Brown to win the next general election. Firstly, bottling an early election to consolidate his power, and secondly, having the prospect of losing two of Britain’s capitals: Edinburgh and London. Matters are made worse especially with Boris Johnson outlining his intent to do everything in his power to oppose Labour policies if he wins the London Mayoral race. The Labour party and Gordon Brown especially have been portrayed as incompetent with the 10p tax cut U-turn, for which Jack Straw has had to apologise. He said, while answering questions on a radio phone-in show: “Sometimes even with the best brains available for government there are inadvertent consequences of changes. “We put our hands up to that we should have known more about the

impact of the abolition of the 10p rate.” A back bench rebellion over the tax cut was labelled as being an attack by Blairite supporters to destabilize the Prime Minister, but why would Labour MPs what to destabilize the Prime Minister at such a crucial time? It’s a bizarre situation in which attacking Gordon Brown’s competence seems to have become a regular occurrence, as his policies continue to lack the inspiration the general public crave, which leads the press to brand him as ‘out of touch’ with the nation. There were even wild suggestions on the rumor mill that political damage from the 10p tax cut row could have persuaded some Labour voters to vote for the BNP. The 10p debate has caused a load of trouble for Gordon Brown, which undoubtedly will be in the short term memory of the public as they go to the polls, effecting the local election results and will also have a detrimental effect on the future direction of the Labour party. As Labour members continue to raise their dissatisfaction, having resided in power for 11 years, the question still lingers - are they a spent force in the eyes of the press and, more troubling, the public consciousness?

14 gairrhydd




glad rags & grass stains

With the Summer Ball approaching and the everlasting pressure to buy fair trade products in the back of her mind, Ceri Isfryn finds out how to go green and still be the belle of the ball


airtrade, Fairtrade, Fairtrade. It’s been drummed into our generation that this is the way forward, which will alleviate any green guilt. Recently, I’ve been looking for a dress I can squeeze the year’s skilfully accumulated pounds into for the Summer Ball. Considering it’ll only get beer spilt down it by some big burly rugby boy trying, I’ve decided to search for an ethical solution, so when I pay a fortune at Top Hat’s for the dry-cleaning, at least my conscience will be clear. So, excluding unethical debauchery after 10pm, is it possible to have a Fairtrade-only ball night? Let’s start with the outfit. What a palaver! Unless I wanted a cheesecloth hippie potato sack or a ‘gothiclook’ velvet tent, a Fairtrade dress doesn’t seem to be a plausible option. Granted, there were some lovely affordable dresses available on the internet… if your dad happens to be Roman Abramovich. After clicking past god-knows how many £400 atrocities, I finally found a pretty electric blue floral dress on www.nomadsclothing. com for a very reasonable £29.90. The shoes proved to be even more of a challenge! Why do ethical shoes strive to be ‘different’ or ‘unusual’? The best I could find was a pair of black heels with ribbon ties on www. Describing them as ‘your new party shoe with a conscience’ is all very well, but at a purse emptying £85.00 they’re not exactly student-friendly. Again sold some beautiful shoes but nothing in their bargain bin was under £100. So it seems if I want to console my aching feet on June the 13th with the thought that they’re adorning ethical heels, I’ll have to hand over my fortnightly food budget at the very least. Jewellery seems far easier to come by, and it doesn’t seem to automatically mean raffia and wooden beads. Plenty of websites offer reasonably priced silver jewellery earrings and necklaces, such as Wales’ own www. or if you’re lucky enough to have a minted boyfriend, have a look on High street biggies have rarely let me down on the clothes front before, but beyond very ordinary t-shirts, all

the big high street failed to come up with the goods. Whereas several of the big stores sold Organic clothes (New Look do a particularly good range), Fairtrade clothes didn’t venture much further than a collection of bland t-shirts and plain jeans. Topshop just about stretched to some hippie-esque hats, which reflects the biggest problem with Fairtrade products: retailers are still only providing for one type of ethical shopper. Smart clothes are non-existent in the Fairtrade market, even on the internet, where I did most of the searching for my outfit. Some specialist shops, like Oyster in Castle Arcade, sell a good range of items but there is a gaping hole in the market for smarter ethical clothes. The thought of some unethical, yet cheap and fashionable binge buying at Primark, I am ashamed to say seems appealing next to the ethical yet bank-breaking option. In case any male readers were about to turn to the sports pages instead, don’t think I’ve forgotten about you. Quite frankly, unless you want to be wearing a cotton polo shirt and jeans to the ball, sadly you won’t be going Fairtrade this year. There were a grand total of zero Fairtrade suits available on the whole wide-web despite exhausting Google. It seems as though the fashion industry don’t consider men to have a green-conscience, or at least not when you’re out to impress anyway. I even had to dig to find some Fairtrade casual clothing that would pass as fashionable (www.ascensionclothing. com do some cool t-shirts). Surely sensible marketing would be to shout from the rooftops that they’re selling Fairtrade products, rather than make it a by-the-by on their website, such as Topman. So frustratingly, a £15 suit from Asda will have to do until next year, when the fashion industry will hopefully have caught on to the fact that it’s not only women who strive to dress consciously. Male readers may want to skip this paragraph as we get down to looking for hair products and make up, which proved to be easier to track down. Namely this was thanks to the allround do-gooders The Body Shop. The Body Shop trades with the Eu-

dafano Womens Cooperative in northern Namibia, which helps women in rural communities who have very few opportunities to earn money. Not only this, they’re also against animal testing - a double dose of green brownie points. The variety of make up is enough to sort anything from a d-day spot to fake tan disaster, and they also stock foundations and concealers for coloured skin. My favourite is the Shimmer Waves bronzer, £15, which may seem pricey but gives you a smooth instant tan as opposed to looking like your 5-year-old cousin’s dropped a pot of glitter on you. It also doubles up as a great eye shadow. Fairtrade foods has become a huge market in the past few years, so finding some pre-ball wine to consume come June 13th proved to be no problem. Tesco do a great mixed case - 6 bottles of Fairtrade wine for £26.00. The prospect of realistically getting some Fairtrade beer in student areas are slim namely because the bigger companies still refuse to comply with Fairtrade standards. Campaigning website www. fairtradebeer,com claims that “Many ‘beer promotion women’ in Cambodia may die on the job unnecessarily within the next 2 years: 20% are HIV/ AIDS sero-positive but cannot afford life-saving medications.” So again an area that could be a gold mine for those in need going untouched by retailers. I find myself wanting to shake the big retailers for not grasping at the opportunity, if not only to be ethical in itself, but because there’s a massive market out there for fairer products. One area in which Fairtrade excels is coffee, with a wide array of flavours and strengths available from most supermarkets. So when you wake up in bed next to a randomer with your dress covered in grass stains, break the ice by offering them a Fairtrade coffee. Well, it’s only polite. The Cardiff Summer Ball is being held on Friday June 13th in Coopers Fiels. Buy your tickets from the Box Office now!

OCTOBER.22.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM




Nursery Assistants Ref: 070 Private day care nursery for children aged 6 weeks - 5 years requires professional, patient and friendly staff to assist in the nursery, encourage learning, talk to parents and assist with feeds and changing. Driving licence an advantage, various shifts available. £5.52 p/h Helpline Advisor Ref: 067 National claims management company is looking for people to join its Cardiff team. You will be taking calls from customers with a diverse range of claims, so you will need to be able to be calm and empathetic at all times. You must have previous customer service experience. £11,700 pro rata Customer Service Officers Ref: 066 A major high street bank is looking for part time staff to perform a variety of customer service roles in their branches in Cardiff. You must have previous experience of providing excellent customer service, excellent communication skills and be able to work well as part of a team. £11,778 pro rata Tutors Ref: 064 A voluntary group that provides educational support for disadvantaged and underachieving groups of pupils is looking for tutors to support pupils learning in their homework clubs. You must have A-Levels, or equivalent, and either hold an undergraduate degree or be studying towards one. £7 p/h






Surfing to Success

Whether you’re looking for a summer job or a graduate position, Jobs and Money takes you through some of the best websites for finding jobs



linos Jenkins graduated with a degree in Marine Geography BSc, in 2007. She now works as for the Environemnt Agency. What is your job title? Permit Officer in Water Resources for the National Permitting Service of the Environment Agency Wales. Where are you based? Ty Cambria, Newport Road.


s the essay deadlines pass and exams come ever closer, students from first year to postgraduates are thinking about what they’re going to do over those long summer months, and beyond, to earn a bit of cash. Jobs and Money presents a review of some of the best online resources we’ve found this year, and a few new sites to get you into the world of employment from the comfort of your own home. Employment for Students The founders of did extensive research with students to see what their ideal job website would contain, and then set about creating it. It holds listings for temporary, part-time and holiday jobs as well as internships and overseas gap year positions covering sectors from charity to promotions. The site also includes useful information about CV’s and interviews, contact details for recruitment agencies in your local area, and forums to discuss employment issues with students from all over the globe. Set Your Rate Jobs and Money found out about this

site back in February and since then it has also been featured in The Times and The Sun. In a nutshell, is designed to let you sell your skills and services online, with no user charge. So if you’ve got a flare for photography or you’re a fluent Spanish speaker, list your service and your price online and wait for the clients to come to you. Service categories include computing, entertainment, languages and sport, and with 265 000 services viewed last month it’s worth setting up a profile. Studious Enterprises is a very clever creation by two marketing research graduates to get you to do their job from them. The up-side is you get paid for it too. The idea is simple; you register with the site, and enter the contact details of family and friends who wouldn’t mind filling out a few questionnaires. Then when the owners of the site have some research to carry out about products and services for their big-wig clients, they e-mail your loved ones with a survey and pay you for each survey that gets returned. You’ll be rewarded £1 for every

survey filled in by a student, and £3 for every professional response. There’s also the opportunity to earn simply from giving your opinions about consumer issues using an online forum, and you’re compensated depending on the quality of your responses.

They’ll match you to jobs that suit you, saving you hours of trawling through online listings Finally, the site provides information on potential careers and jobs. After filling out a detailed questionnaire about your education and preferences, they’ll match you to jobs that suit you, saving you hours of trawling through listings. Source That Job This is a slightly more specialist web site, but it’s a useful starting point for one of the most difficult industries to get into. brands it-

self as “the quick and easy media job website”, encompassing the fields of journalism, PR, marketing and advertising, and web/IT positions. You can search by category or geographical area, and although most of the jobs are at graduate level, for those struggling to find positions in the media sector it’s a potentially great way of making contacts. Be My Interviewer To combat the danger of being left open mouthed and stumped for an answer in upcoming job interviews, use this web site to practice being grilled by some of the toughest interviewers in the public eye.’s video simulations allow you to be questionned by the likes of Dragon’s Den entrepreneur Duncan Bannatyne, GETgraduate Recruitment boss Kirsty McCulloch and ITV Talent Executive Moray Coulter. Once you’ve been put through your paces, video tutorials allow each interviewer to tell you what their ideal answers would have sounded like, and an interview surgery forum feature means that you can ask any questions left unanswered.

Cardiff’s Next Top Model Jess Best Jobs and Money Editor


he modelling agency that discovered Sienna Miller, Agnes Deyn and Daisy Lowe is giving a Cardiff student the chance to become their on-campus talent scout. Select Model Management is looking for a student who is interested in working in the fashion industry to be their official university representative, and

could potentially win two weeks of work experience at Select’s London headquarters. The successful applicant will win a training session at Select’s head office in Camden, as well as official merchandise to wear whilst scouting on campus. Full training will be provided by Select staff on what to look for

in a potential fashion model. Applications need to include a short explanation of why you believe you would be right for the job, details of any relevant experience or interests and a photograph of someone who you think

could be a top model. All short-listed applicants will be invited to London for an introductory training session, and those who get through will be automatically entered into a competition to find the University Scout of the Year and win the two week work placement. All applications and further questions should be e-mailed to Paul@ or telephone 0207 291 3033

Briefly describe what your job involves i.e. your day to day responsibilities. The National Permitting Service is a relatively new entity in the environment agency designed to make the permitting of any activities which effect the environment itself more streamlined. I work in the Water Resources Department and we mainly deal with water abstraction and impoundment licenses. Our day to day duties can vary from simple tasks like changing addresses on licenses to transfering ownership of licenses and revoking them. When our team becomes fully fledged we will be working individually on new licence applications, deciding whether or not it is environmentally viable to allow the abstraction/impoundment to go ahead. We also have to defend the rights of other water users who depend on their being a certain ammount of water in the rivers, for example fishermen, tourist companies and other abstractors. How did you go about applying for the job? Briefly describe any interview or assesment process that you went through. I saw this job advertised in the Western Mail and sent the completed application form along with my CV to the Agency. The interview was very relaxed and I was mainly asked about my people skills After this we had to complete a short written exercise where we had to describe how we would go about collecting information for four different activities that required a licence. What is the best/worst thing about your job? The best thing about my job is knowing that when I come to work I’m making a difference to the environment. The worst thing at the moment is that I’m mainly office based, but on the plus side I believe this is the best place to start as I’m getting a great knowledge of the foundations of environmental regulation. What advice would you give to students thinking of entering a similar field? Develop your other skills. There are plenty of people coming into this industry with the right degree but it is your personal skills that will get you the job. Keep applying if you get turned down because if you put the effort in to make yourself stand out they will be jumping at the bit to hire you.

18 gairrhydd




Gwlad y Gân – Nid y Gomedi!

Roedd yna dipyn o gig yng Nghlwb Tafod ychydig dros wythnos yn ôl. Ond nid gig gyffredin mo honni, achos nid cerddoriaeth yn unig oedd ei glywed yno, ond ychydig o gomedi Cymraeg hefyd! Gwilym Dwyfor Golygydd Taf-od


fallai i rai ohonych ddarllen am y fenter iaith newydd sydd wedi cael ei sefydlu ym Mhatagonia yn Taf-od yr wythnos diwethaf. Wel, ar nos 24 Ebrill cyhaliwyd gig i godi arian at y fenter yn Nghlwb Tafod, yng ngwesty NosDa, Riverbank. Nid dyna’r unig gysylltiadau rhwng y gig a’r fenter fel y mae’n digwydd. Mae NosDa yn noddi Menter Iaith Patagonia yn un peth. Hefyd, MC Mabon oedd yn gorffen y noson, a bu ef ym Mhatagonia’n recordio’i albwm ddiweddaraf. Nid cerddoriaeth yn unig oedd ar y fwydlen ar y noson. Fel cwrs cyntaf, cawsom ychydig o gomedi, er y dylid bod yn wyliadwrus wrth ddefnyddio’r gair hwnnw i’w ddisgrifio efallai! Nid oes traddodiad cryf iawn o nosweithiau ‘stand up’ yng Nghymru, a chafwyd awgrym pam yng Nghlwb Tafod. Elis James oedd y cyntaf ar y llwyfan, ac ar wahân i ambell ddynwarediad o ffermwyr Sir Gaerfyrddin, digon di fflach oedd ei set. Llinos LL Cwl J oedd y nesaf i’r llwyfan a roedd yr hiwmor

braidd yn brin yn ystod y set hon hefyd. Rhaid cydnabod, mae’n debyg, ei bod hi’n beth anodd iawn mynd ar lwyfan a chesio gwneud i bobl chwerthin, a rhaid edmygu dewder y ddau yma, hyd yn oed os nad oedd llawer o safon i’w perfformiadau. Elidir Jones oedd y comedïwr olaf ac yn wir, roedd ef yn ddigon doniol. Nid hon oedd y set

Nid oes traddodiad cryf iawn o nosweithiau ‘stand up’ yng Nghymru, a chafwyd awgrym pam yng Nghlwb Tafod. gomedi orau imi ei gweld erioed ond roedd yn welliant o’r ddau arall. Ond, y gerddoriaeth oedd uchafbwynt y noson, a’r cyntaf ar y llwyfan oedd y band, Yr Ods. Cafwyd set dda ganddynt, ac roedd hi’n bechod braidd nad oeddynt yn perfformio ychydig bach yn uwch ar y rhestr.

Gruff Meredith, MC Mabon: Ei Stwff newydd yn swnio’n dda! Bobs oedd y nesaf i chwarae, sef artist unigol oedd heb berfformio ers deg mlynedd! Roedd o’n sdrymio’i gitâr yn ddi drugaredd, ac roedd o’n amlwg yn

mwynhau perfformio! Roedd y clwb bellach yn dechrau llenwi a roedd hi’n amser am set MC Saizmundo oedd yn edrych yn wyrion

bost mewn siwt wen. ‘Dwi ddim yn ffan mawr o gerddoriaeth hip-hop, ac yn sicr dwi ddim yn arbenigwr, ond dwi’n siwr fod amseru Saizmundo braidd yn ddiffygiol, ac wrth gwrs, amseru yw popeth i’r hip-hopiwr. Rhan o daith Swci Boscawen a MC Mabon oedd y gig, a go brin y gall neb ddadlau na hwy oedd sêr y noson. Mae gan Swci Boscawen bresenoldeb ar lwyfan bob tro y mae hi’n perfformio, ac mae’r cyfuniad rhwng hynny a’i chaneuon bachog yn ddigon i sicrhau set dda bob tro, a doedd y gig yma ddim yn eithriad. Yna, MC Mabon oedd yn gorffen y noson. Mawr fy nghywilydd ond do’n i erioed wedi gweld MC Mabon yn fyw o’r blaen ac roedd o’n dipyn o brofiad. Mae’n anodd enwi un arddull penodol ar gyfer y gerddoriaeth, ond mae’n debyg mai’r jyngl o synnau ac arddulliau yma sy’n gwneud y gerddoriaeth unigryw mor addas ar gyfer gig fyw. Dipyn o noson felly, yn enwedig o safbwynt cerddorol. Fydda’i ddim, serch hynny, yn rhuthro i noson ‘stand up’ Gymraeg debyg yn y dyfodol agos, ond dwi’n edrych ymlaen i weld Yr Ods, Swci a MC Mabon eto yn fuan.


MAY.05.2008 TELEVISION@gairrhydd.COM .


Fuller figures...cheese burger?

!TELLY! Eat The Rich


he first series ended on a bit of a whimper as the much anticipated final showdown as the evil brain-munching Sylar was revealed to be all hype as fan favourite Hiro travelled back to ancient Japan and the Petrelli brothers went boom. Now the second series of Heroes is here and with it high expectations and with much squeeing from the die-hard fans. But was it worth the wait? I’m not sure it was. Since its acclaimed beginning Heroes has always taken itself too seriously. The fate of the world is repeatedly in the hands of this small collection of people with special abilities and the drama is ramped so high it’s almost hard to enjoy. Even the West Wing knew it needed some humour to get people through each episode. The once comical Hiro is now far in the past getting antsy over a girl and fighting the good fight, not providing nearly as many laughs without his sidekick Ando. Peter Petrelli is also relocated, as he wakes up in a crate in Cork where some Irish thugs are expecting some iPods,

the location of which is never revealed. Thankfully this does bring some giggles as all attempts at the Irish accent fail miserably and Peter tries to regain his memory. Meanwhile the other heroes are

EXTRA TERRESTRIAL The best thing you can’t watch right now on the basic five channels is America’s best kept secret; How I Met Your Mother. Available only in the US or on Trouble, How I Met Your Mother has the usual generic synopsis of some twentysomethings sharing a flat yet somehow have taken in a fabulously fresh new direction. Centred around Ted’s (Josh Radnor) exploits in trying to find love and ultimately the mother of his future children, How I Met Your Mother also has the womaniser Barney (Neil Patrick Harris), Ted’s dream woman and ex-pop star Robin (Cobie Smulders) and the happily engaged couple Lily and Marshall (Alyson Hannigan and Jason Segal). There is some true TV royalty in there from the likes of Buffy, Freaks and Geeks and Doogie Howser MD so you

know you’re in safe hands. A mixture of surreal events and quotable dialogue fills each episode as we follow some young adults stumble through life. The BBC showed the first series but hid it on a Sunday evening, so I urge you to seek this gem out using any means necessary. It’s rare for the US to give us something genuinely funny, so this is a show worth searching for.


simply carrying on as before being crazy and full of teenage angst in their own special ways. Claire is still seeking a boyfriend and as ever gets injured more often than most so we can get further examples




Skinny Celebs...carrot stick?

of her fabulous healing powers. There is an interesting moment when her boyfriend recognises Claire’s father as the man who accosted him years before. Don’t forget Claire’s dad used to work for The Company, which remains in pursuit of our favourites, resolute in their belief that having special powers can only be a bad thing. In fact The Company is the only component to improve in the second series with the addition of Stephen Tobolowsky (from Groundhog Day among many others) and Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) as father and daughter duo villains. it’s hard to go wrong when Kristen Bell plays a slighty sadistic girl with electic powers. While I’m sure Heroes is still must watch TV for many it has started to feel old and tired to me. Personally I’ll be watching The Invisibles on BBC1 instead, Anthony Head’s in it! If you do decide to tune in and see how Hiro is fairing be prepared to have your disbelief fully suspended, do not take this show as seriously as it seems to take itself.

SOAPS OMG! Enders’ Steven is more messed up than we thought. Because despite being in denial as to his own sexuality and landing Christian in boiling water, it turns out he’s the one behind Lucy’s disappearance! Bet you didn’t see that one coming did you?! This week in Walford, the story unravels like a large ball of wool and Lucy’s whereabouts are finally made apparent to the viewers. Hidden in a caravan all this time, (well they could’ve made her hiding place slightly more exciting) Steven proposes a move to France for them. However, during a discussion with Pat about the troubled teen, Steven’s poor acting-within-acting skills let him down and Pat (the master of master minds) realises what’s been going on. Steven bolts and Pat attempts to follow,

but is suddenly struck down by Roxie, who comes speeding round the corner in her car. Why is it that cars only appear at the most inconvenient moment in Walford? On ITV, Corrie is all tissues and runny noses, as Maria and Liam’s baby is given the send-off he deserves. Maria remains adamant she won’t attend, but at Audrey’s convincing words she decides to do the right thing and show a face.


AIRPLANE II: THE SEQUEL, FIVE, MONDAY ))) Yes, this section truly is just for me to bitch about poor sequels on telly. though this isn’t too bad. Not as clever as the original nor as original as it actually goes so far as to show clips from Airplane! rather than supply fresh humour. Still better then most modern spoofs though.

SCARY MOVIE 2, BBC1, SATURDAY )) Second spoof sequel (that I have on DVD) this week and not even the presence of Tim Curry can’t save it. Witness hilarious parodies of the haunted house genre and laugh at someone deformity! Watch out for a surprisingly terrible cameo from my beloved James Woods, this is what the Oscars were made for! LEGALLY BLONDE, FIVE, SUNDAY ))) Sure it’s not a sequel but is it any good? If you’re willing to give yourself over to a typical American comedy then this is entertaining enough. See Reese Witherspoon try to become a lawyer to prove she’s not a dumb blonde and get her man back. It’s better than revision!

20 gairrhydd




MONDAY National Treasure BBC1 4.35pm

Doctor in Trouble BBC2 12.35am



Flood ITV1 9.00pm ITV 1

5th May International Midwives Day

Just Shoot Me C4 8.10am Channel 4

Breaking into Tesco five 11.30am Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:00am Missing Live 9:45am Homes under the Hammer 10:45am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:30am Bargain Hunt 12:15am BBC News and Weather 12:40am Live FA Women’s Cup Final

6:00am CBBC 10:30am Dangermouse 10:50am Animal Park 11:50am A Distant Trumpet

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am Dickinson’s Real Deal 11:30am 60 Minute Makeover 12:30pm Loose Women

6:10am Kids TV 6:45am Freshly Squeezed 7:15am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:10am Just Shoot Me 8:40am Frasier 9:10am Will and Grace 10:10am Friends 11:10am Mariah Carey 11:40am Duffy

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am Breaking into Tesco 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent

3:10pm Honey, I Blew Up The Kid 4:35pm National Treasure

1:45pm Murder She Wrote 2:30pm Snooker: The World Championship

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm Agatha Christie’s Poirot 3:00pm Midsomer Murders

12:10pm Escape to Victory 2:20pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm The Hallelujah Trail

5:00pm Goldenballs

5:00pm The Paul O’Grady Show

5:00pm Five News 5:30pm Neighbours

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:15pm ITV Evening News and Weather 6:30pm You’ve Been Framed! 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm Wales This Week 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Flood

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:25pm 3 Minute Wonder 7:30pm A Time Team Special: Britain’s Drowned World

6:00pm Airplane II: The Sequel 7:30pm How Do They Do It? 8:00pm The Gadget Show

9:00pm Grand Designs Live

9:00pm Paul Merton in China

10:00pm Hostage

10:00pm Dom Joly’s Complainers

12:05am Dylan Moran: Like, Totally 1:10am The Invasion 1:30am Man on Fire 3:00am The Diets That Time Forgot 4:00am Henning’s Haus

11:05pm Dangerous Minds 12:55am NASCAR 1:50am US PGA Golf 2:30am NHL Ice Hockey 5:10am House Doctor 5:35am Neighbours

6:35pm BBC News 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm Watchdog 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm Panorama

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Great British Menu 7:00pm Rhondda Boy on Broadway 7:30pm The Hairy Bikers Come Home 8:00pm World Championship Snooker

9:00pm Waking the Dead

10:00pm BBC News 10:20pm Belonging 10:50pm Meet the Immigrants

11:20pm Inside Sport 12:00am Runaway Train 1:50am Panorama 2:20am Extreme Dreams with Ben Fogle 2:50am Animal 24:7

11:00pm Am I Normal? 12:00am Have I Got News for You 12:30am Doctor in Trouble 2:00am The Super League Show 2:45am The Record 3:00am World News Today

11:00pm Late News and Weather 11:15pm The Adventures of Pluto Nash 12:55am UEFA Champions Leauge 1:25am Bills to Pay: Tonight 1:50am Never to be Forgotten 2:15am British Touring Car Championship

PICK OF THE DAY Goldenballs, ITV1, 5.00pm

As this Monday is a bank holiday the listings are filled with bad films and extra long snooker, I really hope the weather is nice so no one is stuck inside watching this line up. If it comes down to it, and you’re not brave enough to attempt a BBQ in the rain, there’s always Goldenballs to help while away the afternoon. This is the opposite to Deal or No Deal where contestants cheer each other on and genuinely feel bad if they hold a box with the wrong value, in Goldenballs the liars are rewarded and the kindhearted go home empty handed feeling betrayed. It took me a while to pick up the rules but they are pretty immaterial really; all you need to know is when to say “ooh, she’s a lying cow that one” and sit back and enjoy the scheming. It helps that presenting all of this is family favourite Jasper Carrott who’s gentle humour helps move this guilty hour along. This is not quality programming, and the fact that it is pick of the day should tell you something. Go outside, it’s lovely!





TUESDAY The Weakest Link BBC1 5.15pm

Through The Keyhole BBC2 1.30pm


Loose Women ITV1 12.30pm




6th May Tony Blair’s Birthday

How to Look Good Trial & Error Naked five 3.10pm C4 8.00pm Channel 4


6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Missing Live 10:00am Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45am Cash in the Attic 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 11:10am The Black Pharaohs 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am US Sitcoms 9:30am Sweet Sixteen 10:30am Big Squeeze 11:05am Young Black Farmers 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm The Bells of St Mary’s

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am Breaking into Tesco 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent

1:00pm BBC News 1:40pm Doctors 2:10pm Out of the Blue 2:35pm Real Rescues 3:05pm CBBC

1:00pm The Maths Channel 1:10pm Primary Geography 1:30pm Through the Keyhole 2:00pm 3:00pm Murder, She Wrote 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

2:55pm A 100 Grand Place in the Sun 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm Home and Away 2:50pm Rough Guide to Cities 3:05pm The Family Recipe 3:10pm Trial & Error

5:00pm Newsround 5:15pm The Weakest Link

5:15pm Escape to the Country

5:00pm Goldenballs

5:00pm Grand Designs Today

5:00pm Five News Kaplinsky 5:30pm Neighbours

6:00pm BBC News at Six 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm EastEnders 7:57pm BBC News and Regional News 8:00pm Holby City

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Great British Menu 7:00pm Val Doonican Rocks 8:00pm Natural World 8:50pm Wild

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale: Race Against Time 8:00pm Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Britain Recut 8:00pm How to Look Good Naked

9:00pm Waking the Dead

9:00pm The Age of Terror

9:00pm Too Fat to Toddle

9:00pm Grand Designs Live

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7:30pm Jaguar Adventure with Nigel Marven 8:00pm The Family that Defied Hitler 9:00pm CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

10:00pm BBC News at Ten 10:25pm Wales Today; Weather 10:33pm BBC Weather 10:35pm Air Force One

10:00pm Later Live... Holland 10:30pm Newsnight

10:00pm News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm Benidorm

10:00pm Amy Winehouse: What Really Happened?

10:00pm CSI: Miami

12:30am Weatherview 12:35am Sign Zone: Don’t Leave Me This Way 1:05am Sign Zone: The Primary 2:05am Sign Zone: Ben Fogle’s Extreme Dreams 2:35am Sign Zone: Animal 24:7

11:20pm Mad Men 12:10am Joins BBC News 4:00am Shakespeare: The Animated Tales

11:05pm Fire! Fire! 11:35pm Dexter 12:40am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 2:25am Loose Women 3:15am The Jeremy Kyle Show 4:10am ITV Nightscreen

11:05pm Jesus Camp 12:05am Dirty Sexy Money 1:05am Premier League Poker 2:00amBritish Superbike Championship 2:55am The British Formula 3 International Series 3:25am KOTV

11:00pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent 12:00am The FBI Files 1:05am Football Italiano 1:25am NBA Basketball 4:20am French Football 5:10am House Doctor



PICK OF THE DAY Dirty Sexy Money, CH4, 12.05am What lies. Dirty Sexy Money is neither dirty, sexy and, not surprisingly, isn’t money. It is rather about people with too much money getting into trouble, but not getting our sympathy because they are rich and we simply are not. I decided to give this show a bit of a watch mostly because of the impressive cast headed up by Peter Krause; an actor great in Six Feet Under but here he often looks bored and I’m not surprised, this is his tricky second album. Also lost in this glossy trash is Donald Sutherland who once was more famous than his son, something 24 stole away from him, and now he plays the family head admittedly well but I’d rather see him doing something well... good. William Baldwin is in the same boat as his brother Alec becoming a star all over again in the hilarious 30 Rock while William is playing a politician dating a transexual, which just isn’t shocking anymore. While entertaining enough fluff this is most definitely the runt of the litter.



22 gairrhydd



WEDNESDAY Child of Our Time BBC1 8.00pm


Through the Keyhole Star Bites BBC2 3.15pm ITV1 12.05am




7th May David Tomlinson’s Birthday

Desperate Housewives C4 10.00pm Channel 4

World’s Toughest Prisons five 10.00pm Five

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Missing Live 10:00am Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45am Cash in the Attic 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBeebies 10:30am A Picture of Britain 11:30am

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News 11:15am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Frasier 9:00am Will and Grace 9:30am Sweet Sixteen 10:00am Sweet Sixteen 10:30am Big Squeeze

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am Breaking into Tesco 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent

1:00pm BBC News at One 1:30pm Wales Today; Weather 1:40pm Doctors 2:10pm Out of the Blue 2:35pm Real Rescues 3:05pm CBBC

1:00pm See Hear 1:30pm Working Lunch 2:00pm Animal Park 2:30pm Murder, She Wrote 3:15pm Through the Keyhole 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

11:05am Young Black Farmers 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 1:35pm Channel 4 Racing from Chester 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm Home and Away 2:50pm Rough Guide to Weekend Breaks 3:05pm Five News Update 3:10pm The Brooke Ellison Story

5:15pm The Weakest Link

5:15pm Escape to the Country

5:00pm Goldenballs

5:00pm Grand Designs Today

5:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5:30pm Neighbours

6:00pm BBC News at Six 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm X-Ray 7:57pm BBC News and Regional News 8:00pm Child of Our Time

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Great British Menu 7:00pm Mountain

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm The British Soap Awards 2008

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Britain Recut 8:00pm Property Ladder

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7:30pm It Pays to Watch 8:00pm Monster Moves

9:00pm The Apprentice

9:00pm Dan Cruickshank’s Adventures in Architecture

9:00pm Grand Designs Live

9:00pm Al Capone and the Untouchables: The True Story

10:00pm BBC News at Ten 10:25pm Wales Today; Weather 10:33pm BBC Weather 10:35pm The National Lottery Draws

10:00pm The Apprentice: You’re Fired 10:30pm Newsnight

10:00pm News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm Welsh in the West End

10:00pm Desperate Housewives

10:00pm World’s Toughest Prisons

10:40pm Comedy Sketchbook 11:30pm Deathtrap 1:20am Weatherview 1:25am Sign Zone: Seaside Rescue 1:55am Sign Zone: Meet the Immigrants 2:25am Sign Zone: Island Parish

11:20pm Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives 12:20am Joins BBC News 4:00am Shakespeare: The Animated Tales

11:05pm Never to Be Forgotten 11:35pm Unsigned 12:05am Star Bites 12:15am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 1:05am Quincy, ME 2:00am Loose Women

11:05pm Amy Winehouse: What Really Happened? 12:10am 4 Music:What About Me? 12:40am 4 Music: The Nokia Green Room 1:10am Bremner, Bird and Fortune 2:10am Dupe

11:05pm Outlaw Bikers 12:05am European Open IV 1:35am Major League Baseball 4:20am Supercross World Championship 5:10am House Doctor

PICK OF THE DAY The British Soap Awards 2008, ITV, 8.00pm Yay, it’s that time of year again when Soapland’s guys and gals don their finest gear and get presented with the awards they’ve been working their little dramatist socks off for! Will Hollyoaks finally get the ‘Soap of the Year’ award? Will Ken Barlow win ‘Sexiest male’? And will Maria Sutherland’s still-born child win ‘Best Exit’? Whatever the successes may be, there is no doubt that the show will see a battle (as always) between ‘Enders and Corrie! I’m getting a bit bored of that now to be honest, it’s time to make way for Doctors and Emmerdale instead ...let’s give them a chance everybody and sympathise with their not-so-good script-writers! Phil and Fern will indeed return to present the 10th annual show, which indeed makes it even more appealing. Well it wouldn’t be the same without them would it?! They are my morning coffee on This Morning and my Saturday night takeaway on Mr & Mrs; I love them!

24 gairrhydd MAY.05.2008



FRIDAY Things to Do Before Great British Menu You’re 30 BBC2 6.30pm BBC1 11.40pm BBC 1


9th May Europe Day

Payback ITV1 11.40pm


Mum’s Gone Gay C4 11.25am

The Family Recipe five 3.05pm

Channel 4


6:10am Kid’s TV 7:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Frasier 9:00am Will and Grace 9:30am Search for Cool 10:25am Who Really Runs the World 11:25am Mum’s Gone Gay 12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 1:30pm Channel 4 Racing 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

6:00am Kid’s TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am Breaking into Tesco 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent

6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Missing Live 10:00am Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45am Cash in the Attic 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBBC 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am Entertainment Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

1:00pm BBC News at One 1:30pm Wales Today; Weather 1:40pm Doctors 2:10pm Out of the Blue 2:35pm Real Rescues 3:05pm CBBC

1:30pm Animal Park 2:30pm Murder, She Wrote 3:15pm Through the Keyhole 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

5:00pm Newsround 5:15pm The Weakest Link

5:15pm Escape to the Country

5:00pm Goldenballs

5:00pm Grand Designs Today

5:00pm Five News Kaplinsky 5:30pm Neighbours

6:00pm BBC News at Six 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm Street Doctor 8:00pm EastEnders 8:30pm A Question of Sport

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Great British Menu 7:00pm Scrum V Live

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: The World According to... 8:00pm Dirty Sexy Money

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7:30pm Animal Rescue Squad 8:00pm Police Interceptors

9:00pm Have I Got News for You 9:30pm My Family 10:00pm BBC News at Ten 10:25pm Wales Today; Weather 10:33pm BBC Weather 10:35pm Friday Night with Jonathan Ross

9:00pm Across The Andes: Beyond Boundaries 10:00pm QI 10:30pm Newsnight

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Coronation Street 8:00pm How Safe are Your Savings?: Tonight 8:30pm Coronation Street 9:00pm Benidorm 9:30pm Teenage Kicks 10:00pm Payback

9:00pm Grand Designs Live

9:00pm NCIS

10:00pm Derren Brown: Trick or Treat 10:35pm Peep Show

10:00pm Shark

11:35pm National Lottery EuroMillions Draw 11:40pm Things to Do before You’re 30 1:15am Weatherview 1:20am Sign Zone: Dan Cruickshank’s Adventures in Architecture 2:20am Joins BBC News

11:00pm Newsnight Review 11:35pm Later...with Jools Holland 12:35am Backstage 2:00am Star Trek: The Next Generation 2:45am Star Trek: The Next Generation 3:30am Malcolm in the Middle 3:50am Malcolm in the Middle

11:00pm The Late News and Weather 11:40pm Payback 12:30am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 1:25am Pink Cadillac 3:25am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

11:05pm Balls of Steel 11:55pm Big Bang Theory 12:25am 4 Music: Love Music Hate Racism ‘08 1:25am 4 Music: The JD Set Presents Pull Tiger Tail 1:40am Afterworld 2:05am Journey through the Night

11:00pm Law and Order: Special Victims Unit 12:00am Quiz Call 4:45am Out of Practice 5:10am House Doctor 5:35am Neighbours

PICK OF THE DAY Peep Show, CH4, 10.35pm Having sat through the surprisingly bad Mitchell and Webb Look it has become clear that while Mitchell and Webb are a funny duo, writing may not be their strong suit. Luckily they don’t write the brilliantly funny Peep Show which enters it’s fifth series this month. Following the exploits of Mark and Jez as they get into genuinely funny and bizarre situations, Peep Show is a must watch and a show that will be talked about for the full week between episodes; not watching would make you a poor conversationalist for the rest of term. It’s good to know that as the doom and gloom of exams comes round once again we have some great telly to keep us sane and to stop us doing too much revision. The best thing about a show like Peep Show is that the lead characters are so pathetic you can’t help but feel better about your own life!

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm Home and Away 2:50pm Animal Rescue Squad 3:05pm The Family Recipe 3:10pm Treacherous Beauties







SATURDAY Twin Warriors BBC1 12.15am

Monk BBC2 4.00pm



TV’s Naughtiest Blunders ITV1 12.10am ITV 1


10th May Kenan Thompson’s Birthday

The TV Show C4 4.15pm

Renaissance Man five 4.45 pm

Channel 4


6:00am Breakfast 10:00am Saturday Kitchen 11:30am Great British Menu 12:00pm BBC News 12:10pm Football Focus

6:00am CBBC 11:45am Sportsround 12:00pm Falcon Beach 12:45pm Falcon Beach

6:00am CITV 10:30am The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 11:00am ITV News and Weather 11:03am ITV Weather 11:05am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:10am F1: Turkish Grand Prix Qualifying

6:00am Kids TV 7:00am Goalissimo! 8:00am The Morning Line 8:55am What Happens in Vegas 9:30am Speed Racer 10:00am T4: The Nokia Green Room 10:30am Shipwrecked 2008 12:00pm T4: Friends 12:30pm T4: Shipwrecked 2008

6:00am Sunrise 7:00am Kids TV 10:00am Football Italiano Highlights 10:30am Animal Rescue Squad 10:50am Neighbours 12:55pm Time at the Top

1:00pm Racing from Ascot and Haydock 2:35pm Rugby League Challenge Cup

1:30pm The Surgery 1:50pm Sound 2:20pm The Sky at Night 2:40pm Buchanan Rides Alone 4:00pm Monk 4:45pm Natural World

1:30pm Mission to Mars 3:35pm Inspector Gadget

1:00pm T4: Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious 2:00pm Channel 4 Racing 4:15pm The TV Show 4:45pm Deal or No Deal

2:55pm Man of the House 4:45pm Renaissance Man

5:15pm BBC News 5:30pm Outtake TV

5:30pm Dad’s Army

5:00pm ITV Wales News and Weather 5:30pm Kids Do the Funniest Things

5:35pm Come Dine with Me

6:00pm The Kids Are All Right 6:45pm Doctor Who 7:30pm I’d Do Anything 8:30pm The National Lottery: 1 vs 100

6:00pm The Trees That Made Britain 6:30pm Gardeners’ World 7:30pm Secrets of the Forbidden City

6:30pm All New You’ve Been Framed! 7:00pm All Star Mr and Mrs 8:00pm Britain’s Got Talent

6:35pm Channel 4 News 7:00pm Grand Designs Abroad 8:00pm ER

6:55pm Five News and Sport 7:10pm NCIS 8:05pm NCIS

9:20pm Casualty

9:00pm Have I Got a News for You 9:40pm Comedy Map of Britain 10:40pm The Apprentice 11:40pm The Apprentice: You’re Fired

9:00pm Pushing Daisies

9:00pm East Is East

9:00pm CSI: NY

10:00pm ITV News and Weather 10:10pm The Big Fight Live

10:50pm The Hole

10:00pm Law and Order

12:15am The Lightship 1:40am Mad Men 2:25am Monk 3:10am La Nouvelle Eve

12:10am TV’s Naughtiest Blunders 1:10am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Crime 2:08am ITV News Headlines 2:10am Great Balls of Fire! 3:10am ITV Nightscreen 5:30am ITV Early Morning News

12:40am 4 Music:Ibiza Rocks with Sony Ericsson 1:10am The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2:40am The Dancer 4:20am St Elsewhere 5:15am Countdown

11:00pm True CSI 12:00am Quiz Call 4:45am Out of Practice 5:10am Wildlife SOS 5:35am Wildlife SOS

10:10pm Love Soup 10:40pm BBC News

11:00pm Scary Movie 2 12:15am Twin Warriors 1:45am Friday Night with Jonathan Ross 2:45am Weatherview 2:50am Joins BBC News

PICK OF THE DAY Love Soup, BBC1, 10:10pm Hopefully by now you are all watching Pushing Daisies on you Saturday evening, these pages have certainly told you to enough. But what to watch after that? I present you with Love Soup, which is now well into it’s second series, the tale of a woman’s fruitless search for her soulmate. In the original series we also followed her elusive Mr Right whose path she never did cross, but he is no longer present making her search even more blind. Love Soup is a sweet and funny show, it’s humour often extending to the surreal which is good to see. With the BBC normally just churning out generic comedies with added laughter track it’s nice to see something a little bit different for a change. Saturday nights in are getting better and better; I recommend starting with Doctor Who and staying put until the closing credits of Love Soup with a detour to ITV1 at nine. Perfect.

26 gairrhydd




SUNDAY Songs of Praise BBC1 5:30pm

Animal Park BBC2 11.30am

BBC 1 6:00am Breakfast 9:00am The Andrew Marr Show 10:00am Pentecost 11:00am Countryfile 12:00pm The Politics Show

BBC 2 6:00am CBeebies 7:00am CBBC 10:00am Something for the Weekend 11:30am Animal Park 12:30pm Premiership Rugby

Beat the Star ITV1 6.45pm

ITV 1 6:00am The Sunday Programme 7:25am Kids TV 9:25am Coronation Street Omnibus 12:00pm ITV News and Weather 12:03pm ITV Weather 12:05pm ITV Wales News and Weather 12:10pm F1: Turkish Grand Prix Live 3:00pm The Jewel of the Nile

11th May Holly Valance’s Birthday

Time Team C4 4.45pm

Channel 4

Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home five 6.10pm Five

6:10am The Hoobs 6:35am Trans World Sport 7:35am Bennett’s British Superbike Championship 8:30am The Shooting Party 8:55am T4: Shipwrecked 2008: The Hutcam Diaries 9:30am T4: Hollyoaks Omnibus

6:00am Kids TV 11:00am To Be Announced 11:50am Androcles and the Lion

1:00pm To Be Announced 1:35pm EastEnders 4:25pm Final Score

1:00pm Rugby League Challenge Cup 3:00pm Rowing World Cup 4:00pm Paralympic World Cup

4:50pm Pushing Daisies

12:00pm T4: Shipwrecked 2008: Battle of the Islands 1:10pm T4: Shipwrecked 2008: The Third Island 1:40pm T4: The Nokia Green Room 2:15pm T4: Friends 2:45pm T4: Smallville: Superman the Early Years 3:45pm T4: The Simpsons

1:45pm Football Italiano 4:10pm Film To Be Announced

5:15pm Points of View 5:30pm Songs of Praise

5:50pm Snow Geese: The Desert Storm

5:15pm Down To Earth 5:45pm ITV Wales News and Weather

5:55pm Five News and Sport

6:05pm BBC News 6:22pm Wales Today; Weather 6:28pm BBC News 6:30pm Seaside Rescue 7:00pm My Family 7:30pm I’d Do Anything Results 8:00pm To Be Announced

6:00pm BBC Young Musician of the Year: Grand Final

6:00pm Local 6:15pm Local News & Weather 6:30pm ITV News and Weather 6:43pm ITV Weather 6:45pm Beat the Star 8:00pm Midsomer Murders

4:15pm T4:The Simpsons 4:45pm Time Team 5:45pm Scrapheap Challenge 6:45pm Channel 4 News 7:00pm Bremner, Bird and Fortune 8:00pm Bear Grylls: Born Survivor

9:00pm Hero

9:00pm White Chicks

11:00pm Sudden Death

11:15pm Disorderly Conduct

9:00pm To Be Announced

10:00pm BBC News 10:20pm To Be Announced

10:00pm To Be Announced 11:00pm Graham Norton Uncut

10:00pm Headcases 10:30pm ITV News and Weather 10:43pm ITV Weather 10:44pm Regional Weather

11:35pm Film To Be Announced 1:00am Weatherview 1:05am Sign Zone: Watchdog 1:35am Sign Zone: Holby City 2:55am Sign Zone: The Age of Terror 3:25am Sign Zone: Extreme Dreams with Ben Fogle

11:45pm A Game of Two Eras: 1957 v 2007 12:45am Heroes 1:30am Film To Be Announced 3:10am Inside Sport 3:50am Joins BBC News

10:45pm The Damned United: The South Bank Show 11:45pm F1: Turkish Grand Prix Highlights

PICK OF THE DAY White Chicks, Ch5, 9.00pm The Wayans brothers deliver yet another offering only capable of comedic professionals, in what must be their best work to date. Despite the poor reviews, I feel this film should be brought to the forefront as a must-see-movie, for comedy duos are less than numerous these days! The two brothers sport not only their best feminine attire, but white body paint and piercing blue contacts in order to pose as a pair of spoilt socialites. The actual ‘white chicks’ (whom the brothers bodyguard) cannot face the embarrassment of being seen looking less than perfect at an imminent social gathering they are attending, having sustained a few minor injuries in a car accident. Fearful that the girls will be thought missing, the brothers take on the identities themselves and work to fool their peers into believing they are who they appear to be... oh and try to catch a criminal along the way! The gags are endless and the scenes are side-splitting... pure laugh out loud material (in my eyes at least)!

6:10pm Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home 8:00pm To Be Announced






found on facebook Housemate done something stupid?

1. Log on to the book of face Send 2. Join the group ‘Found on Facebook’ more 3. Upload embarrassing photos oddities! 4. Pick up gair rhydd on Monday and laugh



1. Congressman (14) 10. Maturate (5) 11. Cold-blooded (9) 12. An installment on the amount owed (7) 13. Gracefully slender (7) 14. Vassal (5) 16. Grease or oil (9) 19. Slang for Lieutenant (9) 20. Opposing groups (5) 22. Narration of a story (7) 25. Someone from Kenya or Ghana (7) 27. Come into being (9) 28. Seizure (5) 29. Abattoir (14)

2. An abnormal condition of the lungs (9) 3. Scope (5) 4. Iota (9) 5. Relating to the nose (5) 6. Doubters of religion (9) 7. An adult insect (5) 8. Chemical (7) 9. Move forward (6) 15. Hanging or injecting lethal chemicals (9) 17. Crooner (9) 18. Renounces (9) 19. 4 in a year (7) 21. Most rational (6) 23. A large Asian country (5) 24. Browned slices of bread (5) 26. Horned animal (5)

competition crossword

Sudok leaves u fo page 2 r

Exercise your mind...

WINonal ers ng p A aini tr sion ses

Then exercise your body at

Put your entries in the competitio

n box outside gair rhydd

Every week gair rhydd will be giving away a gym package to one lucky entrant who correctly completes the competition crossword, courtesy of Dave’s Gym.

Every winner will receive a free personal training session with one of our qualified instructors. This can be a gym workout, weight-training, boxing or Thai Boxing session. You will also receive a personalised gym programme and a free guest pass so you can come back for another workout or try one of our studio classes: choose from HipHop, Khai Bo, Bodypump and many more. This prize is worth approximately £35! Conditions: Use of any of our facilities is subject to our terms and conditions and at the user’s own risk. An appointment must be made for the session. Prize must be claimed within four weeks of notification. It is not exchangeable for cash and is not transferable to any other party. Dave’s Gym: Tel: 029 2046 0232 E.mail: enquiries@daves-gym. Web:

NAME.... EMAIL....

How to enter: Simply complete the wordsearch opposite and drop it into the crossword competition box outside the gair rhydd office on the 4th floor of the Students’ Union. The first correct entrant to be plucked from the box every week will win the Dave’s Gym package.

28 gairrhydd




This week: Listings is limited to one joke as ACTUAL comedy takes plac



MONDAY MONDAY MTV’S SPANKING NEW MUSIC TOUR: CSS+FUTUREHEADS+MGMT Descartes walks into a pub right, and the landlord offers the great @ GREAT HALL, SU - Some good bands and all here, but The Futurephilosopher a drink. “A gin and tonic, sir?” To which Descartes reheads and CSS aren’t that ‘new’ are they? Let’s sue MTV for false plied, “I think not” and promptly disappeared. advertising. 7pm. £15. TUESDAY SILKY+TONY LAW+GARY DELANEY+TOM CRAINE: KILL FOR SPUNGE @ BARFLY - Ska-punk rockers who A SEAT COMEDY CLUB @ THE WELSH COLLEGE OF MUclaim to have hit upon the sound by accident, SIC AND DRAMA - Silky - ‘Cheeky chuckles with a cheeky having amalgamated their collective influences chappie. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll laugh some more. of Sublime, Stiff Little Fingers, The Clash and They call him Silky because of his nice smooth head!’ The Wildhearts. 7.30. £10. Runner up for just about every award going, including TUESDAY ACOUSTIC NIGHT @ TEN FEET TALL BBC New Comedy Award, and organiser of Kill For A - Expect the best acoustic acts that Cardiff Seat comedy nights. 8.30pm. Check venue for has to offer. Brought to you by the people beprices. hind Electric Cwtch and Buffalo’s late Sunday FRIDAY MIKE MILLIGAN+DOUGUE live, in one of Cardiff’s newest venues. 8pm. DUNLOP+JEFFERSON & WHITFIELD+STEVE £2. Bargain. RAWLINGS @ JONGLEURS - Jefferson & WhitWEDNESDAY WEREWOLVES+ME AND THE field - A talented duo with their musically based MAJOR+THE THREE ACES @ TEN FEET TALL comedy act. Steve Rawlings - High-energy - Me and The Major have been described by visual comedy. His daredevil circus tricks inone certain entertainments site as a “4 piece clude Jewish hat juggling, furniture balancing alternative indie rock band based in Cardiff.” and possibly the most unique drum solo you For the love of God, what’s happened to the will have ever seen. He has toured the country world’s creativity! The Three Aces are also a supporting top names such as Harry Hill and band. From Cardiff University. And they are made numerous TV appearances. An excellent, nice. 8pm. £3. offbeat act. 8pm. £8 all tickets. THE ALLBACK EXPERIENCE+ADRIAN HUGHES SATURDAY MIKE MILLIGAN+DOUGUE @ GLO BAR - Dazzling acoustic guitar viruosDUNLOP+JEFFERSON & WHITFIELD+STEVE ity straddling folk, jazz, blues and the Welsh RAWLINGS @ JONGLEURS National Anthem from Adrian Hughes. SUNDAY FOUR READINGS AND A FUSpunge at Barfly. Well, not an actual THURSDAY TWISTED WHEEL @ CLWB IFOR sponge, obviously. NERAL: MAB JONES+NOEL JAMES+SCOTT BACH - Indie band from Manchester and winFITZGERALD+MAO, SYLVIE WINN+JOHNNY ners of Xfm Manchester’s Uploaded 2007. DISCO+THE 2 MATTS @ CHAPTER ARTS 8pm. CENTRE - Noel James - Welsh comic wizard ROBERT PLANT+ALISON KRAUS @ CIA - Ex-Led described as surreal, absurd, intelligent and Zeppelin guitarist makes music. Check venue somehow strangely attractive, but then he for info. would say that, wouldn’t he?! His 2001 and FRIDAY THE STEERS @ BARFLY - Retro indie-pop from the modish The 2002 Edinburgh shows received rave reviews, catapulting him into Steers, influenced by the likes of Blur and Supergrass with a twist of the upper echelons of the comedy circuit. Mab Jones - Winner of the modern indie. 8pm. John Tripp Award 2007. 8pm. £5 all tickets. GLASSJAW @ SU - Primitive, powerful and individualistic emo-rock. DARA O’BRIAN @ ST. DAVID’S CENTRE - One of Ireland’s funniest co7pm. £15. medians, who produces laughs like a magician produces rabbits from a hat. Haha.


MONDAY VIVA LA DIVA: VIVA LA DIVA @ sell CBE and international opera thrilled to announce their plans t cal called ‘Viva La Diva’. This fus produce the unexpected! £65-£ contact venue. ANGELINA’S STAR PERFORMANC MILLENNIUM CENTRE. 6pm. Mati TUESDAY AESOP’S FABLES @ SH brought to you by the award win the Old Vic Theatre Company fr Bristol. 1:30pm & 5:30pm. £6 al ANGELINA’S STAR PERFORMANC MILLENNIUM CENTRE - Angelina B of putting on her very own perform Queen in her splendid palace. It’s will she manage to pull it off? In Miss Lilly, William and Angelina’s the best performance ever. Mean cause havoc with their mischievo & 3pm. £15 WEDNESDAY ELMER THE PATCHWORK ELEP about a bloody patchwork eleph makes me the ‘weird one’ for nev seems as if I’m the only one who professional. 11am - 2pm and ex Runs until Saturday. THURSDAY TRAFAELU AR Y TREN GLAS @ CH Sharon Morgan. For ticket info co FRIDAY TRAFAELU AR Y TREN GLAS @ C by Sharon Morgan. For ticket info SATURDAY BLINK F.A.B THEATRE @ CHAPTER tre company. 8pm. £10-£6. CLAYTIME: INDEFINITE ARTICLE the most innovative puppet mas teractive theatre from performer Brown.

Lightspeed Champion @ The Point 07/05/08 ◆ 7.00pm. ◆ £9 In advance - £11 On the door. Jonathan Evans recommends


lthough Devonte Hynes’ ‘new’ band Lightspeed Champion have been around for 3 years the band have only just started to make an impact recently with the release of debut album Falling Off the Lavender Bridge making number 45 in the album charts. Playing at the Point this Wednesday, Hynes and his travelling band have previously supported the bands Bright Eyes and Final Fantasy. Hynes and his travellers are still a relatively unknown quantity to most people with the single Tell Me What its Worth being released earlier this year. Their forthcoming single Galaxy of the Lost is to be released on the 5th May. Hynes, who was born in Guyana in the Caribbean, went to the US in early 2007 for the production of his album, to work on the songs he had written with Mike Mogis from alternative rock-band Bright Eyes. The result was the production of a debut album that is a mixture of semi-acoustic, country and folk style pop that is a contrast to the heavy indie rock band Test Icicles, Hynes’ previous project that disbanded in 2006. After a short solo tour of the US in

March 2008 Lightspeed Champion will be performing at the Point with a full accompanying band with sounds that reflect that of his debut album. Supporting Lightspeed Champion will be Operator Please – a teenage Australian pop-punk band received with critical acclaim in their home country. They toured the UK last year, playing at the 2007 Reading and Leeds festivals as well as a string of UK gigs during MTV’s Gonzo Tour last October. The bands album ‘Yes Yes Vindictive’ was released here in March to good reviews from the likes of NME and The Fly Magazine. Tickets for the gig are £9 advance and £11 on the door. Even if country infused rock isn’t particularly your thing the small gothic Point venue down at Cardiff Bay, and his unique live performance in some wacky outfit of his choice (look at the picture!) is likely to provide great entertainment and value for money on a Wednesday night.

Students’ Union, Park Place, 02920 387421 ◆ Med Club, Neuadd Meirionydd, Heath Park 02920 744948 ◆ Clwb Ifor Bach (The Wels 02920 399939 ◆ Dempseys, Castle Street 02920 252024 ◆ Iotas, 7 Mill Lane 02920 225592 ◆ Incognito, Park Place 02920 412 ◆ The Riverbank Hotel, Despenser Street ◆ St. David’s Hall, The Hayes 02920 878444 www.stdavidshallcardif uk ◆ The New Theatre, Park Place 02920 878889 ◆ The Sherman Theatre, Senghennydd Road 02920 646900 www.shermanthea Stadium Can’t miss it. ◆ The Point, Cardiff Bay, 029 2046 0873 ◆ Tommy’s Bar, Howard Gardens (off






ce in Cardiff, while the MTV not-so-New Music Tour rolls up at the Union


CIA - Prima ballerina Darcey Busa superstar, Katherine Jenkins are to unite talents and create a musision of song and dance promises to £45-£27.50. For further ticket info

CE: ENGLISH NATIONAL BALLET @ inees at noon & 3pm. £15 HERMAN THEATRE - Old favourites nning Scamp Theatre Company and rom across the waters (sort of) in ll tickets. CE: ENGLISH NATIONAL BALLET @ Ballerina has been given the honour mance of The Sleeping Beauty for the s Angelina’s biggest challenge yet… n this magical introduction to ballet, other friends all help out to put on nwhile, Princess Phoebe and Henry ous antics! 6pm. Matinees at noon

PHANT @ NEW THEATRE - A play hant which, according to my editor, ver having heard of it. Sometimes it o’s serious about keeping this paper xtra performances at 5pm. £10 -£6.

HAPTER ARTS CENTRE - A drama by ontact venue. 8pm. £8-£5.

CHAPTER ARTS CENTRE - A drama o contact venue. 8pm. £8-£5.

R ARTS CENTRE - Cardiff based thea-

ES @ SHERMAN THEATRE - One of sters working in Britain today. Inr Steve Tiplady & sculptress Sally

GOING OUT MONDAY FUN FACTORY @ SOLUS, SU - Cardiff’s own alternative music night.

Also features DJing by Oddsoc and bands put on by LMS. 10pm - 2am. Free entry with NUS. £3 otherwise. TIGER TIGER - The end of the academic year is approaching fast so make the most of Tiger whilst you’ve still got the chance. LIVE MUSIC @ 10 FEET TALL - Outside promoters pushing new live local acts. 8pm. Free.


10 FEET TALL - 8pm-11pm Live Bands/Outside promoters followed by Disco Dirt‚ Electro Breaks, 70’s Funk, Reggae and Disco cheese. Popcorn, Shots, Drinks promo’s. 11pm-4am. £3.

WEDNESDAY XFM SOUTH WALES & 10 FEET TALL PRESENTS UPLOADED LIVE - 3 Floors of Live Bands/DJ’s/Drinks offers/ Giveaways/Badges.8PM-4am. FREE!! OCEANA-WAH! Standard. THURSDAY PHILHARMONIC - Can’t deliver like you know where... BOUNCE @ WALKABOUT - A truly unique experience FRIDAY HOT SOURCE @ 10 FEET TALL‚ Classic Funk, Future Jazz, Roots, Motown, Disco and the best new releases. Expect the finest: Amy Winehouse/Mark Ronson/Grand Master Flash/Stevie Wonder. Free before 11. 11pm-4am £tbc. SATURDAY THE ME AND YOU CLUB @ 10 FEET TALL - “An unruly Rock n Roll Party”. Straight ahead, upfront good time indie rock & pop, new music and classic alternative tunes. 11pm-4am. £tbc SUNDAY Have a look at what’s on at the cinema or go to Buffalo.

SOCIETIES MONDAY PAINT THE CITY AND ODDSOC PROUDLY PRESENT: Midasuno+The Red October+The Archaic Decadence+Rorke’s Drift play Clwb Ifor Bach, curated by Cardiff University’s very own alternative music society. 7.30pm. £5/£4 NUS. FILM SOC INVADE BUFFALOS for ‘Back to the Future’ and Quiz and Food. Rock up to Buffalo at 7.30 for the final movie quiz of the year. There are prizes to be won! Then at 8.30 Back to the Future will be screened on the big screen! It’s gunna be good, so don’t miss it. WEDNESDAY ANNUAL INDIA VS PAKISTAN (STUDENT) CRICKET MATCH: IT‘S FINALLY THAT TIME OF THE YEAR... The CRICKET SEASON IS UPON US... and What Better Way to Kick off A Summer of Cricket than with the MOTHER OF ALL CRICKETING RIVALRIES....INDIA .vs. PAKISTAN... Yes Folks, The Traditional Student Cricket Match is ON... and YUVA Youth Of India along with the PAKISTAN STUDENTS SOCIETY are proud to bring you this traditional annual fixture... So If you wanna be part of the passion and the intensity that is an INDIA-PAKISTAN Cricket match... then be there @ the Blackweir Grounds (and bring all your friends as well) to witness what will be a fantastic game of Cricket!!!! GAME TIME FOLKS....MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN!!!

Oi! Listings needs YOU... Does your club or society have future events that need publicising? If the answer is “yes”, then the lovely people at Listings can help. Simply email us the details of your event, and we’ll dedicate this column to letting the world know about it. LISTINGS@gairrhydd.COM

MTV’s Spanking New Tour: CSS + Futureheads + MGMT @ Cardiff SU 05/05/08 ◆ £15 Listings Editor Dan Jones recommends


TV embark on a national tour showcasing some of the hottest and (kind of) newest bands around. As part of the tour CSS, MGMT and Futureheads are coming to the Great Hall. This is a very strong lineup offering plenty of variety from good old fashioned indie rock to electro-pop. MGMT - New York duo Andrew Vanwyngarden and Ben Goldwasser, who, after finding a shared love of obscure, twee music, started MGMT and began making their deliciously sparkly retro pop, heavily influenced by the likes of Bowie, Spaceman 3 and The Incredible String Band. Unique and quirk MGMT are an excellent band and shouldn’t be missed! CSS - Formed in 2003, the 5 girls and 1 boy started this Brazilian band as a good excuse to go out drinking and the only one able to produce a decent sound from their instrument was the drummer. However, just 3 years later in early 2006 they signed with Sub Pop and released their debut album Lets Make Love As We Listen To Death From Above. The bands name translates

directly as ‘I got tired of being sexy’, and their songs about contemporary pop-culture are produced both in English and Portuguese. This crazy six-piece outfit are notable for their outlandish onstage antics and more than colourful clothes - every gig is like a Brazilian carnival! The Futureheads from Sunderland playing guitar-led post punk in the style of Wire and Gang Of Four with a twist of XTC. There’s four of them in the band and they all sing; not harmony or unison - but all different tunes at once that somehow intertwine. Punk opera, perhaps? But probably not. With two successful albums behind them and another coming in May this year, the future looks bright for the ‘heads... These sort of gigs are always very good, like the NME tour before it, going along to see one band you like can open you up to a few others. Which is always nice.

sh Club), 11 Womanby Street 02920 232199 ◆ Barfly, Kingsway, Tickets: 08709070999 ◆ Metros, Bakers Row 2190 ◆ Liquid, St. Mary Street 02920645464 ◆ The Philharmonic, 76-77 St. Mary Street 02920 230678 ◆ Café Jazz, 21 St. Mary Street 02920 387026 ◆ Chapter Arts Centre, Market Road, Canton 02920 304400 ◆ Wales Millennium Centre, Cardiff Bay 0870 0402000 ◆ The Glee Club, Mermaid Quay 0870 2415093 ◆ Cardiff International Arena, Mary Ann Street 02920 224488 ◆ The Millennium Newport Road) 02920 416192 ◆

30 gairrhydd MAY.05.2008


From the Desk of



e m so

d n Ha

He’s a ruddy good lad.

Ted Handsome’s Preferable Activities To Voting For Boris Johnson An Occasional Series Perennial figure of fun, Boris Johnson, is once again rearing his soft and formless face in the public eye. Unfortunately, it is not to stumble his way through a public apology for some extra-martital adventures, but rather for the more terrifying prospect of public office. This means that this stammering shambles of a man would actually be placed in charge of actual human beings, and will be undertaking actions that will affect real people. It’s all well and good joking about Tony Blair’s teeth on a sneery panel show, but to have any legislative power whatsoever is a dangerous prospect.

No. 1 - Hurling Myself Off A Cliff Of course, there are plenty of health risks associated with flinging my perfect form off of a particularly high and imposing rocky outcrop, but these risks are minute compared to the destruction that this foppish simpleton will wreak upon London Town. While broken bones and skin lesions will inevitably heal, the ruinous effect that Captain Sensible intends to undergo if he were elected, would have long and far-reaching implications.

No. 2 - Having Dinner With Jade Goody Although I will readily admit that the sight of that porcine whore shovelling her Nandos’ value bucket into her racist fizzog would be enough to reduce the strongest of men to a blubbering heap of humanity. Either that or into a raging torrent of bile and incomprehension. Nevertheless, if you vote for Boris then I hate you.

No. 3 Paying To See Scouting For Girls This was somewhat of a hard choice. On the one hand, to tolerate Boris Johnson is to tolerate racism, incompetence, infidelity and general idiocy. However, equally, Scouting For Girls are single handedly ruining pop with guitars forever. A generation of music lovers will look back upon 2008 and see that a song penned by these gormless morons was one of the bestselling of the year. What does that say of our culture and our heritage? It says that we don’t fucking well have one. Back to my salient point, which is to say that one should not vote for Boris Johnson, simply because no fully grown adult should have the mental defiency to believe that this man is anything other than a clown in an ill-fitting suit. That said, he is running for the London Mayor, and so it only affects those insular ponces anyway. I hope that they do vote him in, as it is exactly what they deserve

A letter about the laydeeez Dear Ted, I am writing to you in utter confidence, as it is somewhat of a touchy subject that I am dealing with. You see, one of my friends has taken it upon herself to act like some kind of brazen harlot, and has started to sleep with a not inconsiderable amount of my close friends and allies. The painted lady is coming (ooer Missus! -TH) between my group of amigos and it is paining me to watch. I’ve always been taught the mantra, bros before hos, mates before dates. How am I supposed to react to this blatant flagration of the rules? Yours Terry Domestos Roath

Terry, People who say ‘mates before dates’ do not have many dates. Is someone a little bit jealous that a certain someone is paying another certain someone no attention, sexwise? There is no simple solution to this most tricky of social problems, and one that I am not used to finding myself in. This reminds me of the time that I found myself parachuted behind enemy lines, into a small Northern French Village. I was treated as quite the celebrity! The young children of the village would come and listen to my sonorous vowel sounds in enrapted tones, despite having only the slightest acquaintance with our fair language.

Many of the menfolk would buy me ales and the finest of their wines, in exchange for assistance in repairing their machinery and to aid the resistance. Of course, the ladies of the town could not resist my ruggedly handsome good looks, and I would often have dalliances with suitable gallic wenches behind the Old Barn. Unfortunately for me, Gaston, the grumpy boulanger, grew envious of my success with the ladies and eventually shopped me to the Gestapo. I was brought into a POW camp and there I remained until the end of the war. I hope this answers your question. Yours Ted

A letter about dancing Dear Ted, You broke my heart/‘Cause I couldn’t dance/You didn’t even want me around/And now I’m back, to let you know/I can really shake ‘em down/Do you love me? (I can really move)/Do you love me? (I’m in the groove)/Ah do you love? (Do you love me)/Now that I can dance (dance)/Watch me now, oh (work, work)/Ah, work it all baby (work, work)/Well, you’re drivin’ me crazy (work, work)/With a little bit of soul now (work)/I can mash-potatoe (I can mash-potatoe)/And I can do the twist (I can do the twist)/Now tell me baby (tell me baby)/Mmm, do you like it like this (do you like it like this)/Tell me (tell me)/Tell

me/Do you love me? (Do you love me)/Now, do you love me? (Do you love me)/Now, do you love me? (Do you love me)/Now that I can dance (dance)/Watch me now, oh (work, work)/Ah, shake it up, shake it (work, work)/Ah, shake ‘em, shake ‘em down (work, work)/Ah, little bit of soul now (work)/(work, work)/Ah, shake it, shake it baby (work, work)/Ah, you’re driving me crazy (work, work)/Ah, don’t get lazy (work)/I can mash-potatoe (I can mash-potatoe)/And I can do the twist (I can do the twist)/Well now tell me baby (tell me baby)/ Mmm, do you like it like this (do you like it like this)/Tell me (tell me)/Tell me/Do you love me? (Do

you love me?)/Now, do you love me? (Do you love me?)/Now, do you love me? (Do you love me?)/ (Now, now, now)/(work, work)/ Ah, I’m working hard baby (work, work)/Well, you’re driving me crazy (work, work)/And don’t you get lazy (work)/(work, work)/Ah, hey hey baby (work, work)/Well, you’re driving me crazy (work, work)/And don’t you get lazy (work) Yours, C.Ontours Amerikee Mr. Ontours No, No I do not. Much Love, Ted xxx

Dear lovely reader, This week, I have mainly been campaigning. None of the silly bollocks that you students seem obssessed with; I would never be seen dead in a costume forcing sweaty confectionary into the hands of a disinterested third party. Instead I have been off in London, attempting to sway the besuited cattle that comprises our Capital City. Contrary to most conventional campaigns, I am not urging the general populace to vote for a particular candidate, but rather I am urging the good people of London to not vote at all. Don’t vote, it’ll only encourage them. However, in lieu of your common garden variety apathy, I am urging everyone to register their disinterest with the contemporary political climate as eloquently and beautifully as they can muter. Either that or draw a cock on your ballot. TH xxx

OCTOBER.22.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM




14 gairrhydd


OCTOBER.22.2007 FEATURES@gairrhydd.COM






THE WORD ON... ...the controversy surrounding the upcoming Beijing Olympics Scott D’Arcy Sports Editor


nyone who is not aware of the controversy surrounding the Olympic Torch Relay is forgivable if some are not aware of the political undertones of the current protests in Greece, London, Paris and San Francisco. The independence movement in Tibet has reared its head at the worst possible time for the Chinese Government who are about to hold the Olympics in Beijing this summer. Much has been said of the decision to award China the Olympic Games in the first place but the situation in Tibet may prove to be the nail that seals the proverbial coffin for China in the eyes of its doubters. No matter that China provides a long list of top athletes to compete wherever the Olympics is being held, and the fact that Beijing is one of the most historically significant and culturally rich cities in the world. Threats of a boycott will hopefully prove to be empty as this will severely hinder international relations and also be to the detriment of all those involved in sport. The Olympics is the pinnacle of sporting competition, a chance for the best athletes of each discipline to compete against each other in a test of physical and mental endurance that most fans can only admire. Beijing 2008 will bring its own heroes, Olympian and Paralympian, and although they may be adorned in their national colours, their achievements will transcend many borders. However, the Olympics have frequently been subject to political activism. From Berlin to Mexico and Munich to Los Angeles, each summer games has become an arena for political statements such as the civil rights movement in America, the IsraeliPalestinian conflict, apartheid in South Africa and the Cold War. A tradition of protest can be traced all the way back to 1908 when the Irish boycotted London’s last Olympic Games. Then in Berlin in 1936, Hitler’s Third Reich held an Olympics that was intended to display the dominance of the Aryan race, but African American Jesse Owens defied the Führer by winning four gold medals. Incidentally, it was the Nazi government that began the tradition of a Torch Relay. The Cold War then saw a boycott of the 1956 Melbourne Games by Spain, Holland and Switzerland in response to the USSR’s actions in Hungary. Further boycotts at Los Angeles 1984 by the Soviet Union were a low point for the Olympics as the politics seemed to have become more important than the sport. In more recent Games political protest

has been distinctly absent but Beijing has seen an eruption of antiChinese feeling, sparked largely by the crackdown in Tibet. As yet, though, few prospective Olympians have made statements and this is probably a sensible decision. A boycott would be disastrous and would certainly not help the situation, but perhaps most athletes have realised that the consequences of political statements can lead to severe sanctions. At Mexico in 1988 two US runners, Tommy Smith and John Carlos, who won Gold and Bronze respectively, were expelled for raising their arms in a ‘black power’ salute while on the podium, as political gestures are banned from Olympic ceremonies.

Already Beijing 2008 has become more about the politics than the sport It remains to be seen whether the Opening Ceremony will see some kind of dissent by Tibetan supporters. But

Chinese officials would do well to keep security tight because any disruptions could see the house of cards come tumbling down. The politics is again threatening to overcome the sport. The president of the International Olympic Committee (IOC), Jacques Rogge, has had a torrid series of press conferences to navigate, facing questions over the lack of an appropriate response to the human rights ‘abuses’ in Tibet and the decision to award China the Games in the first place. BBC Sport Editor, Mihir Bose reports from Beijing that many feel “these are issues for politicians, not sports administrators, the UN rather than the IOC”. But as Bose suggests in his blog: “the Olympic administrators invite such questions because they make claims about the way the movement reaches far beyond sport.” Indeed, the “Olympic Spirit”, which

is supposed to represent e q u a l i t y, endeavour and unity, as symbolised by the Torch Relay, carries more political connotations than sporting ones. And all too often the Olympics have become a showcase of nationalist identities and economic superiority, which somewhat devalue the human elements of the event.

The Olympics has become a showcase of nationalist identities and economic superiority The problem for the IOC is that it has become politicised to the extent it is no longer seen as a sporting institution. Its ability to decide where the Games are held is a fundamental power, but one which has massive political implications. Regeneration schemes in Beijing, as with all host cities before it, have seen

an improvement in facilities, although the decision to raze many old-style housing projects has meant many have not felt the benefit. The decision to award the Games to any country is surely influenced by political factors, although many would argue that, in giving China the Games, the IOC contradicts its own ethos. However, media coverage has not helped the issue and there is a sense of misinformation surrounding China, partly because the Chinese Government wants it that way. The heads of major Governments have committed to saying relatively little on the matter, which could suggest they know something the public does not. Already Beijing has become more about the politics than the sport, but its reasonable to wonder how long it will continue after the Olympic circus has rolled out of town. Perhaps the Tibetan movement will lose its vigour, or its Western supporters will revert back to climate change. London 2012 may be the next target, as the tradition of protest looks alive and well. Perhaps Welsh nationalism will see a similar crackdown as in Tibet, or, more likely, fears of “terrorism” will cause widespread panic. Whatever happens, sport will be forced to take a backseat again this summer. But what is certain is that all involved should take heed of the words of that well-known diplomat Kobe Bryant: “There’s a stage now created for the whole world to see what’s going on and for everybody to jump in and help out.”

34 gairrhydd


AU Awards 2008 The AU’s stars turn out to celebrate their success over the past year Scott D’Arcy Sports Editor THE ANNUAL AU Awards saw Cardiff’s sportsmen and women rewarded for their efforts over the past year. The lists of people receiving Half and Full colours were extensive and proved that the AU’s success is on an upward curve. Among those honoured with Half colours was Aled Mason, who captained Cardiff Rugby 1sts to a 19 – 9 win over Swansea in this year’s Varsity. His team-mate Andrew Cassidy was also on the list, along with members from all variety of clubs, including snowsports, waterpolo, kickboxing and windsurfing. Gair Rhydd’s own Huw Davies was awarded Half colours for his contribution to snooker as was Dan Jones for his leadership of the Men’s AFC second team. Queuing up for Full Colours were Women’s Hockey 1sts Captain Natalie Blyth, Men’s AFC 1sts star and Fresher of the Year nominee Lloyd Jenkins and Basketball veterans Chris Thompson

and Matthew Garton. Among those on the list for Club Honours was Ben Orr, who ran for SU Vice-President in the last SU elections, for his part in the Cricket Club’s recent success. Pool and Snooker club member Shaun Hill, who finished second in the BUSA Individual 9-Ball tournament, won Club honours for Pool and Half colours for snooker. Sportswoman of the Year went to Kylie Jane Paynter of the Netball 1sts, who recently won a senior Welsh cap in the European Championships and is in the Welsh U-21 squad. Elliot Shaw won Sportsman of the Year, for his performance at the World Student Matchplay tournament in 2007 in which he finished third. He has also represented British and Welsh Universities and Shropshire and Hereford County teams. Men’s Cricket picked up the Team of the Year accolade for their unbeaten season of 2007. Cricket Captain Ben Walker said: “it’s a great honour for the club and is the culmination of the excellent work that people like James Woodruff, Chris Allen and Ben Orr have put in over the last three years to

improve the club.” Club of the Year went to the Swimming & Waterpolo Club, who have consistently excelled at their sport this season, winning gold and silver at the BUSA National Championships. Fresher of the Year was awarded to Jennifer Myo of the Swimming & Waterpolo Club as she was top scorer for the Women’s 1sts overall and played a fundamental role in the Championship final scoring 10 of the 11 goals Cardiff put past Loughborough. AU President Ben Turner presented a special award for achievement to Cardiff University AFC Chairman James Clifford for his leadership of the club, which has seen its first team promoted into the BUSA First division. He has also raised money for charity and has represented Welsh Universities. On receiving the award he said: “It’s a massive honour. The lads in the football club have been very supportive this year and my proudest moment was running the Cardiff Half Marathon with eight of the guys to raise £800 for the Prince’s Trust.”








Crick in the neck Higton reaches new heights BATH Men’s 1sts ........... 227a.o.* *BATH win by 133 runs CARDIFF’S DEFENCE of their BUSA title got off to the worst possible start with a 133 run defeat at the hands of newly promoted Bath. In overcast conditions, Cardiff won the toss and elected to field hoping to keep Bath down to a low score. Things started well for Cardiff as opening bowler Ben Walker took three early wickets to leave the visitors in trouble at 33-3. Things soon took a turn for the worse as, after surviving a tight-leg-before shout off Walker, Dom Farris capitalised and put Cardiff to the sword. He made an excellent hundred, showing an splendid array of shots whilst Cardiff lost their discipline with the ball and in the field. He took Bath up to 200-5 with 8 overs to go and a total of 260 plus looked on the cards. To their credit, Cardiff fought back well as Farris was run out after a mixup for 121, then some excellent bowling at the death by Josh Bess (3-36) and Peter Exley (2-46) restricted Bath to 227 all out. Despite the good work at the end of the innings Cardiff knew that 227 was a very competitive score and they would have to bat well to beat it. Things start-

Jon-Paul Phillips Cricket Reporter GARETH HIGTON was this week crowned Cardiff University Golf Champion after sealing an epic triumph on the first extra playoff hole against Dave Thomas. Welsh International Thomas seemed to have one hand on the trophy through the sixteenth hole when he edged two shots ahead with two holes to play, but he frittered several shots late on to allow Higton to claim victory. Heavy rain earlier in the week had left the golf course playing soft, Mother Nature was kind to the finalists on Wednesday morning when patchy sunshine and a gentle breeze materialised. Cardiff golf team stalwart Thomas, who had dispatched Alex Howe in a closely fought semi-final, got off to an excellent start. Birdies at the second and the eighth helped him seal a strong three hole advantage after nine holes. Fresh from a comfortable 3&2 semifinal win against Chris Orr, not even a pitch in birdie at the fifth could aid Higton’s campaign. He did, however, start to chip away into Thomas’ lead on the back nine, and after a routine birdie at the par five 13th and a Thomas slip up at the 15th, the match was tensely poised with three to play. Thomas nudged further clear at the 16th and at two up, the title looked his for sure. After two solids drives were struck down the 17th, Higton was first to play. A crisp 6 iron was struck to ten feet and when Thomas blocked his ap-


CARDIFF Men’s 1sts ......... 94 a.o.

ed badly for Cardiff as former Somerset 2nd XI bowler James Fraser took two early wickets to leave Cardiff on 26-2. Dean Cox once again rose to the challenge and with him in bat Cardiff always had a chance, however Cardiff kept losing wickets regularly and when Cox went for 42 the game was well and truly up. Cardiff collapsed from 80–4 to 94 all out to slump to a 133 run defeat. Perhaps the most disappointing part of the performance was that, bar Cox, no other batsman got over 10. Without taking anything away from Bath’s excellent performance Cardiff need to take a long hard look at themselves and improve massively if they are to match last year’s triumph. The first step to that aim will be against Southampton Solent on Friday.


Ben Walker Cricket Reporter

proach right the match proceeded down the 18th. The 18th at Radyr is a short par four, with the green very much situated below the players standing on the fairway hitting their seconds. Thomas misjudged his iron shot and found himself at the back of the green in two. After a regulation par from his opponent, he required an up and down from beyond the green to halve the hole and seal victory. It was not to be and the game headed into sudden death. The play-off commenced at the 1st, another short and generous par four. Two excellent drives were executed leaving both players with a good chance

to make birdie. However, a miscue with his second left Thomas in the bunker, opening the door for second year Higton. He delivered the killer blow when his second arrived six feet from the pin, a handshake ensued and Higton was champion. On completion of the match, Higton was thrilled. He said “It was a really close game as I knew it would be. I’m just delighted to have won.” This victory rewards a great run of form for recently nominated first team captain Higton, who has flourished in the latter part of the season. Both players will now head to St Andrews to represent the University in the summer.





MATT MALETROIT, a law student at Cardiff University, struck gold three times in the British University Sports Association Championships held in Newcastle last weekend. The standard of gymnastics on display was at the very highest, with a number of Commonwealth and Great Britain squad gymnasts also competing. Maletroit fought off competition from over forty other competitors in the Men’s finals to take gold in the overall three-piece competition. He was placed fourth on vault, but his rings and parallel bars scores were personal bests, and he showed potential to reach the Commonwealth Games in 2010. “I’m very pleased with my performance, I think it must be one of my best

competitions to date. The competition was both fierce and exciting. I worked very hard in preparation for this competition, training almost every day for the past month, and so I am feeling a lot of relief that I have this competition under my belt. On the day, it all paid off and my routines went very nicely. To score over 40 on just three apparatus was fantastic. It’s great to score so highly on parallel bars and rings, but I still have a lot of hard work if I want to reach the 2010 Commonwealth Games.” “I wasn’t keeping track of the scores as the competition went on, and so it was a nice surprise to find myself on top of the podium for the overall medal. It has been a personal aim of mine to complete my set of BUSA medals after winning bronze and silver the last two years.” “I can take some new ideas from

this competition, and now I must set my sights on representing Jersey in an international competition in Malta in July.” Matt’s coach Helen Sandeman said: “Matt worked tirelessly in preparation for this competition and he certainly deserved his medals. His coach in Cardiff has been improving his flexibility and strength, and it shows from the small number of deductions that the judges took from him.” “It was also a great achievement to place fourth on vault. He has only been able to train for the vault for two weeks before the competition due to a broken toe injury. It’s a relief that his toe held together and that there were no injuries or other problems throughout the competition.”

The New King of Vegas Tomos Parry assesses Joe Calzaghe’s first performance on American soil SOMETIMES, A boxer has to forget about looking stylish and just get stuck into his opponent. In the early hours of Sunday morning, this is exactly what Joe Calzaghe did to gain his first victory on American soil. After being knocked down in the first round, he battled back to score a disputed split-decision victory over Bernard Hopkins. Cardiff University’s own unbeaten prodigy, Nathan Cleverly, was also in action on the undercard. Cleverly (12-0, 3 KOs), who’s trained by Calzaghe’s father/trainer, Enzo, and is a third year Maths student at Cardiff University, had little trouble against Antonio Baker. With Joe Calzaghe sitting ringside cheering on his main sparring partner, Cleverly won every round but couldn’t land a knockout blow. Watched by A-list celebrities including Catherine Zeta Jones and Arnold Schwarzenegger, Calzaghe extended his unbeaten record to 45 but only after overcoming his toughest test yet against the 43-year old Hopkins. Hopkins looked in terrific shape and won the early rounds as Calzaghe began slowly, finding it difficult to gain any rhythm. Hopkins rolled punches and used the

ropes to draw Calzaghe onto his punishing rights. It wasn’t until the fourth round that Calzaghe began to make up ground with some positive yet brief frantic exchanges near the bell. Hopkins is a clever tactician, an awkward opponent and a master at spoiling the opposition’s style and tonight was no exception as he held on at any opportunity and frustrated Calzaghe. Calzaghe began to command the centre of the ring, following the defensive Hopkins around until rushing in with short, frantic bursts of punches. In the sixth and seventh rounds Calzaghe seemed to find a new gear, relentlessly aggressive and continuous in his attack and at the end of the seventh with a flurry of punches he seemed to disorientate Hopkins, who seemed confused as to where his own corner was. Enzo Calzaghe sensed that Hopkins was tiring and pleaded with his son to up the pace and Calzaghe seemed to have the better of round eight, and for the first time looked dominant. But even though Calzaghe was scoring on the cards, a slow Hopkins still remained a danger. In the ninth, Hopkins clearly was not working as effectively as earlier and Calzaghe continued to enjoy suc-

cess with his left as he narrowed the points margin. Early in round ten Hopkins went down claiming a low blow, it seemed like the slightest of connections but Hopkins stayed down for as long as possible, making it count for all it was worth. When the fight resumed, a refreshed Hopkins changed tactics and came forward, but Calzaghe got back into his rhythm, giving as good as he got. In the eleventh, Hopkins showed signs of desperation and tried to take another breather, but was told to fight on by the referee. A frustrated Calzaghe came forward and caught Hopkins with a big right and seemed to hurt Hopkins for the first time. It seemed Hopkins suspected he was behind on points and came out in a mad rush in the final round. But a storming response by Calzaghe seemed to give him the round and optimise his victory. After overcoming a nightmare start, the man from Newbridge came back and showed the spirit and the heart of a true champion. This was by no means an artistic performance by Calzaghe, but a winning one, and, in a difficult fight such as this, that’s all that matters.


Matt Maletroit Gymnastics Reporter

Welsh Break

Neil Fairbrother Snooker Reporter CARDIFF UNIVERSITY’S snooker players made up the entire Wales team at the BUSA Home Nations Championship at the QE1 club in Belfast. They went into the tournament with low expectations, having finished last and point-less every year for the last few years. Their first match was against the Republic of Ireland and Wales suffered a disappointing 13-5 defeat, having been handed a difficult draw. Frames for Wales came from Neil Fairbrother, captain Ben Chung, Rupert Taylor, Jon Hillard and debutant fresher David Blake. The second match was always going to be tough, against joint favorites Northern Ireland. However, Wales improved upon their first match, eventually falling to a 11-7 defeat after losing some close frames. The frames Cardiff won included 2-1 match wins from Blake and Taylor and a single frame each from Joe Merola, Dan Peacey and Ben Chung. Northern Ireland would go on to win the team event. The third (and most difficult) match, against reigning champions

England, ended with a 15-3 defeat for the Welsh side, with frames coming from Merola, Taylor and Hillard, the latter taking a frame off the England captain, Pritesh Patel. Wales finished their campaign against Scotland, knowing that losing would result in yet another whitewash. However, they actually took an early lead, with 2-1 wins by Chung, Taylor and Hillard. However, Scotland clawed 3 frames back, leaving the fate of the match in the hands of Peacey and Blake. Peacey closed out a close 2-1 victory, leaving Blake requiring his final frame to clinch a 10-8 win for Wales. After some tense play at the end, Blake clinched the frame and match with some excellent composure. This result meant that Wales picked up their first points for some years, and consigned Scotland to the wooden spoon. In the individual event, Merola had an excellent run to the semi final, dispatching several top players 2-0, eventually losing 2-0 to the eventual runner up, Patel of England. Overall, the Welsh team were happy to have exceeded expectations and look forward to next year when the event returns to Wales.

On Target Mark Hampton Sports Reporter TWO CARDIFF students and British shooters, Mark Hampton and James Mansfield, attended the Britannia Grand Prix on the weekend of the 19/20th April, at Southern Counties Shooting Ground in Dorset. In the freezing weather and driving rain, the two athletes competed against some of the best shooters in the country and international competitors. Over the two days, Cardiff sports bursar Mark posted a score of 108ex125, while 1st year marine geographer James shot his way to a score of 112, winning the junior title and earning himself a place


Golden G-law-ry


in the final, against the very experienced seniors (over 21). A good score of 17ex25 was posted in his first senior final of his career. On the Sunday, Mark made an appearance at Welsh team qualifying event, using it as practice as he is not eligible to shoot for Wales. Through thick fog, Mark beat his Welsh counterparts with a score of 117ex125, and his nearest competitors were 3 targets behind. Both shooters are competing in the first of this year’s Great Britain selection shoots at the end of the month, with James looking to keep his place in the junior squad and Mark working to earn his spot in the senior GB squad at the end of the year.





THURSDAY Homes Under the Hammer BBC1 10.00am

Hairy Bikers Come Home BBC2 7.00pm




8th May VE Day

Waterworld ITV1 7.30pm

Sweet Sixteen C4 9.30am


Channel 4

The Family Recipe five 3.05pm


6:00am Breakfast 9:15am Missing Live 10:00am Homes Under the Hammer 11:00am To Buy or Not to Buy 11:45am Cash in the Attic 12:15pm Bargain Hunt

6:00am CBeebies 10:30am Primary History 10:50am Megamaths 11:10am Primary Geography 11:30am KS1 Science Clips 11:40am KS1 Science Clips 11:50am Hands Up! 12:00pm The Daily Politics 12:30pm Working Lunch

6:00am GMTV Newshour 6:58am GMTV Today 8:35am LK Today 9:25am The Jeremy Kyle Show 10:30am This Morning 11:10am ITV News 11:15am ITV Wales News and Weather 11:20am This Morning 12:30pm Loose Women

6:05am Kids TV 7:00am Freshly Squeezed 7:30am Everybody Loves Raymond 8:00am Just Shoot Me 8:30am Frasier 8:55am Will and Grace 9:30am Sweet Sixteen 10:00am Sweet Sixteen 10:30am Big Squeeze 11:05am Young Black Farmers

6:00am Kids TV 9:00am The Wright Stuff 10:30am Trisha Goddard 11:30am Breaking into Tesco 12:30pm Five News 12:45pm Law and Order: Criminal Intent

1:00pm BBC News at One 1:30pm Wales Today; Weather 1:40pm Doctors 2:10pm Out of the Blue 2:35pm Real Rescues 3:05pm CBBC

1:00pm Open Gardens 1:30pm Animal Park 2:30pm Murder, She Wrote 3:15pm Through the Keyhole 3:45pm Flog It! 4:30pm Ready Steady Cook

1:30pm ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 2:00pm 60 Minute Makeover 3:00pm Dickinson’s Real Deal 4:00pm Midsomer Murders

12:00pm News at Noon 12:30pm A Place in the Sun: Home or Away 1:35pm Channel 4 Racing 3:25pm Countdown 4:15pm Deal or No Deal

1:45pm Neighbours 2:15pm Home and Away 2:50pm Rough Guide to Islands 3:05pm The Family Recipe 3:15pm The King and Queen of Moonlight Bay

5:15pm The Weakest Link

5:15pm Escape to the Country

5:00pm Goldenballs

5:00pm Grand Designs Today

5:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 5:30pm Neighbours

6:00pm BBC News at Six 6:30pm Wales Today; Weather 7:00pm The One Show 7:30pm EastEnders 7:57pm BBC News and Regional News 8:00pm Holby Blue

6:00pm Eggheads 6:30pm Great British Menu 7:00pm Hairy Bikers Come Home 7:30pm Big Country 8:00pm Living the Dream Revisited

6:00pm Wales Tonight 6:30pm ITV Evening News and Weather 7:00pm Emmerdale 7:30pm Waterworld 8:00pm The Bill: Frontline: Aftershock

6:00pm The Simpsons 6:30pm Hollyoaks 7:00pm Channel 4 News 7:55pm 3 Minute Wonder: Britain Recut 8:00pm Come Dine with Me

9:00pm The Invisibles

9:00pm Heroes 9:45pm Heroes Unmasked

9:00pm Midnight Man

9:00pm Grand Designs Live

6:00pm Home and Away 6:30pm Zoo Days 7:00pm Five News with Natasha Kaplinsky 7:30pm Rough Guide to Off the Beaten Track 8:00pm I Own Britain’s Best Home 9:00pm House

10:00pm BBC News at Ten 10:25pm Wales Today; Weather 10:33pm BBC Weather 10:35pm Dragon’s Eye

10:00pm The Graham Norton Show 10:30pm Newsnight

10:00pm News at Ten and Weather 10:35pm A Very Exotic Vet

10:00pm My Name Is Earl 10:30pm Big Bang Theory

10:00pm Grey’s Anatomy

11:05pm Question Time 12:05am This Week 12:50am Holiday Weather 12:55am Sign Zone: Johnny’s New Kingdom 1:25am Sign Zone: The Twenties in Colour

11:20pm Women In Black 11:50pm Malcolm in the Middle 12:10am Malcolm in the Middle 12:35am Joins BBC News 4:00am Shakespeare Shorts

11:05pm Sharp End 11:35pm Unsigned 12:05am Motorsport UK 12:35am The Baron 1:25am Nightwatch with Steve Scott: Emergency 2:20am Loose Women

11:00pm Derren Brown: Trick or Treat 11:35pm Peep Show 12:05am 4 Music:Gnarls Barkley: Video Exclusive 12:15am 4 Music:Shockwaves NME Big Gig: Bloc Party 12:45am 4 Music: Rockfeedback

11:00pm A Girl’s Guide to 21st Century Sex 11:45pm Quiz Call 4:00am Major League Soccer 4:20am Dutch Football 5:10am House Doctor 5:35am Neighbours

PICK OF THE DAY Derren Brown: Trick or Treat, Ch4, 11.00pm Now this man must send David Blaine quaking in his queer little magician’s shoes, for he (almost) proves that magic doesn’t exist! Sorry to burst the bubble for those of you who are still writing your thank you notes to the easter bunny, but Dezza demonstrates, rather expertly, that it’s all a bunch of mumbo jumbo; just some clever tricks to do with Psychology! Well, no matter how far it disproves the works of Houdini and Paul Daniels, Brown’s work is still pretty impressive! In this series, despite the time of year, the show’s applicants (who don’t know they have been chosen) are offered two cards, one ‘Treat’ card and the other a ‘Trick’ card. The unfortunate victim is not told what card they chose until after the magic man has set to work and delivered them with the choice they selected! I suggest watching this show with the lights’s black magic and it’s scary...if it be magic at all.

gair rhydd - Issue 868  

gair rhydd - Issue 868

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