Competitions • 10
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BIG WIN CIRCUS ++ COMPETITIONS, PRIZES AND PAGE-FILLING COMEDY TIMEWASTING ++
All aboard the Funtime Express A
h, the magic of the railway. The laughs of children, the ‘poop poop’ of the engines, the leering toothless smiles of the drivers. It all harks back to a golden age of steam long before the transport industry’s reputation was ruined by Jimbo and Budgie the Little Helicopter. The frauds. Recreate those rosy moments of packing a picnic in a straw basket, slinging a tartan blanket over your arm and just bunburying off on a jolly old train journey. A sweet girl on your arm and a pipe full of opium in your mouth, perhaps a few servants to sit on... the whole day ahead of you and miles of scenic countryside ahead of you... who cares where you end up? As long as it’s not Swansea, obviously. You can do all this and more, and save a few guineas into the bargain, by getting hold of a Young Persons Railcard. Young Persons Railcards are available to anyone aged 16-25 and cost £18 for a whole year, and entitles the holder to a third off most rail fares in Britain. They are available from any railway station or travel agent. You are also eligible if you are a full-time student over the age of 26. If you don’t feel like reaching into your pocket, or are some kind of vagrant and so can’t provide the proper ID, or even if you happen to be an old man who looks like a 16 year old due to a serious genetic disorder, then you can still acquire one of these rather special pieces of cardboard. We have five Young Persons Railcards to distribute to the leaden masses of this university. All YOU need to do to win one is answer the tricky question below and send us your answers in the usual way.
Win a Young Persons Railcard
gairrhydd
Which bearded smuglord owns top rail company Virgin? A: B: C:
Drop your answers and pigeons into the Competitions pigeon hole in the gair rhydd offices on the fourth floor of the Students’ Union. Or post them to: gair rhydd, Cardiff University Students’ Union, Park Place, Cardiff CF10 3QN Or ‘electron-mail’ them to: gairrhyddcomps @ hotmail.com
W
Gandalf the Grey Richard Branson My gran
Liberty Fraternity Lingerie
ho knew that pants were so complicated? The same pair of brown y-fronts with yellow piping have lasted me and my father since the early seventies and we have no complaints. That said, there is a demand for fancy pants these days. My late-night tours of Talybont with binoculars in hand has revealed that first years own, on average, four pairs of pants which they rotate throughout the year, frequently in front of their bedroom window lit tastefully from the back. Pant wholesalers Republic (www.jointherepublic.com) are giving away five pairs of space-age pants to the drooling pervert who can answer the following question correctly. Each pair may or may not be worn by Yours Truly before being distributed. It’s the risk you take.
Loud and Clear T
his February the Smirnoff Experience Tour hits Cardiff Union, headed by superstar DJ Carl ‘it’s magic’ Cox, who is only too eager to start spilling his musical honey-ichor into your thirsty ears on the 17th February. NUS ENTS have four pairs of tickets to this breathtaking audial potage d’amour du jour to give away. Win Carl Cox We also have tickets and four crates of the former Smirnoff Soviet Union’s favourite tipple, Carl Cox and Smirnoff vodka Smirnoff: one is loud, to wet your one is clear. Which is whistles. which?
Rock on the roll R
ock hats on, bitches, as the NME Carling Awards Tour 2003 rolls into town. Still recovering from the outrageous backstage antics of sherbert enhanced Cheeky Girls last week, the Union is preparing for February’s star-studded Rocktacular. This year’s tour opened at Barrowlands in Glasgow, Europe. New rock faces like international crimefighting team Interpol, animated soap powder boxes The Thrills and sheet-wearing Apparently The Datsuns are spooksters The Polyphonic Spree the best thing to hit the make up one of the best line ups music industry in years. the NME Awards Tour have ever seen. Cream of the milk is allsausage dog combo The Datsuns, whose drummer Ian (pictured) is recovering after an incident involving a frisbee. The tour is storming southwards towards the ‘Diff, consuming in its path the cities of Glasgow, Manchester, Birmingham and Leeds. The pop juggernaut will descend upon us on February 8th... and you can be there. We have three pairs of tickets to the NME Carling Awards Tour 2003, being held on February 8th in the Great Hall. Just answer the question below. If you don’t win, don’t worry: you might be stupid, but that’s never been a reason not to enjoy the best in rockutainment. Simply pick up the telephone and call the NME Ticketline on 08701 663 663 to admit to your utter failure as a human being.
Win a pair of tickets for the NME Carling Awards
Win a pair of Republic pants
Where did this year’s NME Awards Tour kick off?
What is the Republic web address?
++BIG WIN CIRCUS: YOUR FIRST STOP FOR FREE TAT++
I’m David Blaine... lemme take you back to my hotel room, show you what you really want.
A: B: C:
Barrowlands, Glasgow Iceland, Albany Road No Mans Land, 1917