Television
8 February
Friday
Robot Wars Extreme BBC2 6.00pm
Friday 8 February
BBC 2
HTV
S4C
CHANNEL 5
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Kilroy 10.00 Housecall 11.00 Garden Invaders 11.30 House Invaders 12.00 Call My Bluff 12.30 Passport to the Sun 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.30 Regional News and Weather 1.45 Neighbours 2.10 Tennis – Davis Cup 2002 3.25 Tweenies Songtime; Tweenies 3.45 Rugrats 3.55 SMart on the Road 4.10 The Wild Thornberrys 4.35 The Next Big Thing 5.00 Blue Peter 5.20 Newsround Extra 5.35 Neighbours Will Paul be selected for a team? Please, please be Paul Robinson. Someone write in and tell me – I’m too busy/lazy to watch but I’ll watch if it’s Robinson.
6.00 Open University 7.00 Oscar's Orchestra 7.25 Monster Rancher 7.45 Captain Abercromby 8.00 The Lampies 8.15 Bill and Ben 8.25 Oakie Doke 8.35 64 Zoo Lane 8.45 Fireman Sam 9.00 Teletubbies 9.25 Playdays 9.45 Tweenies 10.10 Schools 11.50 Tennis and Snooker Whoa! Whoa! Whoa there, Mister BBC2 controller! Are you seriously telling me that we’ve got six hours of sport this afternoon? And not even any Weakest Link? This is a sick and twisted world and you, sir, are twisting it that little bit further. And don’t even get me started about replacing The Simpsons with Robot Wars. Grrr.
6.00 GMTV 9.25 Trisha 10.30 This Morning 12.00 Wish You Were Here...? Today 12.30 ITV Lunchtime News and Weather 1.10 Shortland Street 1.40 Raymond Blanc's Passion for Perfection 2.10 House to House 2.40 Grand Gardens 3.10 ITV News Headlines 3.15 HTV News and Weather 3.25 Oops! 3.30 Ripley and Scuff 3.55 Hey Arnold! 4.20 Fingertips 4.40 Don't Eat the Neighbours 5.05 Airline 5.30 Fat Club Not actually as funny as it could be. If the fatties were forced to exercise on trampolines and space hoppers it would be ace.
6.10 The Hoobs 6.35 The Hoobs 7.00 The Big Breakfast 9.00 Ysgolion/ Schools 12.00 Powerhouse 12.30 Planed Plant: Pot Mel 1.00 Planed Plant: Criw Babalw 1.15 Pet Rescue 1.45 NHS Chefs 2.45 15-to1 3.15 Countdown 4.00 Uned 5 4.50 Ffeil 5.00 Richard and Judy There was another Richard and Judy story on Popbitch this week – again, I’m not sure of the details but I think it involved Judy being seen being violently sick in some pub toilets. Which may or not be connected to Richard’s daily demands for her to make sex with him. Ugh, the very idea.
6.00 Sunrise 6.30 Dappledown Farm 6.55 Jay Jay the Jet Plane 7.30 Tickle, Patch and Friends 8.00 Bear in the Big Blue House 8.30 Beachcomber Bay 9.00 Havakazoo Mmm, don’t mind if I do, thanks. 9.30 House Doctor 10.00 The Wright Stuff 11.00 The Cosby Mysteries 12.00 5 News at Noon 12.30 Home and Away 1.00 Family Affairs 1.30 Oprah 2.20 Open House with Gloria Hunniford 3.35 FILM: Rough Night in Jericho “Not as good as a rough night with Then Jericho – I used to fancy the lead singer, you know,” sighs a wistful Film Desk. 5.30 5 News
6.00 BBC News 6.30 Wales Today; Weather 7.00 Tune Team Josie D'Arby and Rhodri Williams are asked to compose a sporting anthem to spur on a female basketball team. Any title with the word ‘hoop’ in it would be fine by me. 7.30 Top of the Pops 8.00 EastEnders Laura's attempts to apologise seriously backfire. No doubt with unremittingly grim consequences – this is EastEnders after all. 8.30 Two Thousand Acres of Sky I’d rather have 2,000 acres of nachos. But if it’s free I’ll have 2,000 acres of pretty much anything, thanks. 9.30 Belonging 10.00 BBC News 10.25 Regional News and Weather 10.35 Lucky Bag 11.05 Chewin' the Fat Sketch show with Ford Kiernan, Greg Hemphill and Karen Dunbar. Hey! He’s called Ford – he must be astonishing skill and ace. 11.35 Breaking the Ice: The Winter Olympics 2002 12.20 FILM: Across the Tracks “Early Brad Pitt film that doesn’t look much cop but the director’s called Sandy Tung, which is a great name,” claims Film Desk 2.00 Olympic Grandstand 4.15 Joins BBC News 24
6.00 Robot Wars Extreme Engineering wank-fodder who people who get excited about camshafts and circuit boards and who are completely unaware that either themselves or other people own naughty parts with which they can have a lot of fun. 6.45 Scrum V Live: Ebbw Vale v Llanelli 9.00 Jubilee Day: Timewatch 9.50 RealSoap: Trade Secrets Photographers focus on how to develop photographic skills. Ooh, should be useful. 10.00 Have I Got Old News for You Angus Deayton, Ian Hislop and Paul Merton are joined by guests Dom Joly and David Aaronovitch. In an entirely complimentary way, I reckon Dom Joly looks like GR’s own film powerhouse, Jonathan Steven. 10.30 Newsnight 11.00 Newsnight Review 11.35 Sn**ker Masters Tournament 12.35 Robot Wars Extreme 1.20 FILM: Destiny Turns On the Radio “Crummy ‘comedy thriller’ with a fucking dreadful name – and a character called Jonny Destiny. I mean, Jeeeesus,” mopes and exasperated Film Desk. 3.00 BBC Learning Zone
6.00 HTV News and Weather 6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Phil takes steps towards a reconciliation with Maggie. If someone was trying to reconcile with me they couldn’t go far wrong if they brought Steps along. Oh, I see what they mean... 7.30 Coronation Street The factory girls turn on Fiz. Fnarr! 8.00 Wish You Were Here...? 8.30 Inspector Morse A brutal murder disturbs the tranquillity of an ancient Oxford college. Again. 10.30 ITV Weekend News 10.50 Barry Welsh Is Coming Old Mr Ffff has an accident in bed. I’ve never seen this but I feel drawn to it by that man called Mr Ffff. 11.20 HTV News and Weather 11.30 Club Reps Two couples from Lancashire arrive in Faliraki determined to party, no matter what. Expect this to be as tawdry and cheap as it sounds. 12.00 Veronica's Closet 12.30 The Last Don 2.15 David Gray in Profile 2.40 Box Office America 3.05 World Football 3.30 Trisha 4.30 Judge Judy 4.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Early Morning News
6.00 Newyddion 6 News 6.05 Wedi 6 6.30 Pacio 7.00 Pobol y Cwm 7.25 Newyddion News 8.00 Cefn Gwlad: Aled Davies 8.30 Da 'Di Dil 'De 9.00 Father Ted 9.30 Smack the Pony 10.00 Brookside 10.35 Frasier 11.05 So Graham Norton 11.55 Eden 12.25 The Estate Agents 12.55 Thumb Bandits 1.25 Black Books 1.55 FILM: Underground
6.00 Home and Away Alf offends Leah with a racist remark. Probably taken from Prince Phillip’s Book of Race-Hate Slurs. 6.30 Family Affairs 7.00 Toyota World of Wildlife: Appetite and Diet The programme delves into the mechanics of the food chain and discovers how certain animals have learned to use tools to assist them in their quest for a meal. Look! It’s a capybara with a Magimix! And there’s a Kingfisher with a meat tenderiser! 7.30 5 News 8.00 Gladiators of World War II: The Waffen-SS 9.00 FILM: Rent-a-Cop “Nah, probably not very good,” shrugs Film Desk. 11.00 FILM: The Beneficiary “I think it might be meant to be an erotic drama – but I fail to see the eroticism,” complains Film Desk. 12.45 FILM: Off the Minnesota Strip “Yer bog standard pimp/whore/small town girl sort of thing,” yawns Film Desk. 2.25 FILM: Black Bart “Ancient western. You should be asleep by now, anyway,” castigates Film Desk. 3.45 Oceania 4.00 Sons and Daughters 4.25 Sons and Daughters 4.50 Two 5.30 Okavango
CH4. As S4C except: 9.00 Meego 9.30 4Learning 12.30 Spin City 12.55 Cheers 1.30 Supporting Acts 1.35 FILM: Sailor of the King 3.15 Pet Rescue 3.45 15-to-1 4.15 Countdown 5.00 Richard and Judy 6.00 Eden 6.30 Hollyoaks 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.30 Unreported World: Philippines 8.00 Planet Storm: Fire 8.30 Brookside 9.00 9.30 10.00 Frasier 10.30 So Graham Norton 11.20 Black Books 11.55 The Estate Agents 12.25 Thumb Bandits 12.55 FILM: Kentucky Fried Movie 2.30 Five Feet High and Rising 3.00 Infection 3.15 Third Watch 4.00 Brimstone 4.50 Powerhouse 5.15 Countdown
Evening
Emmerdale ITV 7.00pm
BBC 1
Daytime
Today’s Highlights
Breaking The Ice BBC1 11.35pm
20
Frasier Channel 4 10.00pm
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CHOICE Jubilee Day: Timewatch BBC2, 9.00pm
(029) 2022 9977
62 CRWYS ROAD, CARDIFF
Now that all the hoo-ha about the Golden Jubilee has officially started, it’s time for the TV people to get in on the act. Timewatch is doing the utterly predictable tonight by looking back at the different ways that people marked the
Silver Jubilee in 1977 – from the Royal Bonfire in Windsor Great Park, street parties in Fulham and village fetes in Hampshire and Worcestershire to the Sex Pistols' anti-royalist boat trip on the Thames. It will be interesting to see whether or not the programme also features any footage of the average man on the street who did have a fete or stage an elaborate anti-royal show but who just thought the whole thing was a bit overblown and a waste of taxpayers’ money. Because there are plenty of those about now and I’m sure there were plenty about back then...