The Editors Note
From Editor-in-Chief
Rhys Kearney
Hi there!
My name is Rhys and I am this year’s Editor-in-Chief for our beloved The F-Word Magazine.
I want to start by saying thank you to my incredible team who were the true backbone of this issue, but I don’t want to ramble on too long with thank yous – I want to talk about the interesting stuff; how did this magazine come to be?
This issue was the brain child of my love of visual art and my drive to explore topics that are under-discussed – hence, the theme, “under the cover of night.” Our visuals include drag artists and nightlife and lesser seen vi-
olence; our submissions include poetry about queer love and an essay on femicide; our magazine our way of showing love to those of us who may have ever felt unseen or unheard.
Being unseen, or feeling unheard, can feel like the loneliest situation in the world. Having your experiences fly under the cover of night, whether that’s feeling uncomfortable when someone won’t leave you alone in a club, or going through something emotionally difficult where you feel as though you have no one to turn to.
And yet, on the other hand, nighttime can be one of the liveliest and most exciting times to be out – in the winter, the Christmas lights shine through the darkness; on Jazz Weekend, hordes of people go out and dress up; during Pride Week, our beloved drag artists liven the nights with their stellar performances.
I would be lying if I said that I didn’t find the night to be difficult at times… but that’s part of the fun of the night. No matter how long it seems to go on, the sun always rises at the end. All my love, Rhys
Rhys Kearney Editor-in-Chief
“I’m inspired by the changing of the night into the day – sunrises are some of my favourite things in the world. I hope that this magazine inspires you as much as it has inspired me.”
Asia Ciolkosz
Graphic Designer
“I love nature and people. Continuous events of life inspire me and the magazine has given me many opportunities to explore, create, and live. I hope you enjoy it too.”
Emily O’Donoghue Deputy Editor
“I’m usually inspired by nature and the way that we as people interact with it. However, I was absolutely overjoyed to get the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone with this magazine and try to capture a different feeling with my work. The topics being explored in this issue are near to my heart and it was a wonderful experience getting to focus in on the hidden away.”
Emily O’Donoghue
Interview with Sue Roe, author of upcoming book,
“Hidden Portraits:
The Untold Stories of
Six Women Who Loved Picasso”
to be released on 27th March 2025
Note from Editor-in-Chief
In doing research for this magazine, I had the privilege of being privy to an unreleased book by Dr Sue Roe – “Hidden Portraits.” Sue graciously agreed to answer a few questions of mine, after having read the book. I’d highly recommend if you are interested in the history and the artists that these women were in-and-of themselves.
Question: Would you consider ‘Hidden Portraits’ a piece of feminist literature? What does that mean to you?
Answer: No, I wouldn’t consider Hidden Portraits a piece of feminist literature, since as a writer of biography I never have an agenda, Feminist or other. I researched and wrote the book in a spirit of open-minded enquiry, keen to explore the lives of the women who fell in love with Picasso. I had been struck, in biographies of him, by the apparent lack of curiosity about, dismissal, or even denigration of, the women who shared his life.
Question: Do you think many women, or people in general, could feel as though they relate to these women who loved Picasso? How so?
Answer: I’m hoping many, even most women will relate to the experiences, thoughts and feelings of these six remarkable women. Nevertheless, we do need to remember that their experience pre-dates the achievements of Feminism as we know it. Even so, all six women were unusually independent for their times – with more in common with today’s Fem
inists than with their contemporaries.
Question: Following on from the previous question, what do you personally think of these women loving someone so destructive? What does that tell us about their capacity for love, or people’s capacity for love in general?
Answer: I don’t think Picasso was destructive – and certainly not by the standards of his time. He was neither violent nor coercive, compared to some of the stories of male cruelty we hear about today. He was, above all, creative – arguably the most daring, experimental, virtuoso painter of the twenti eth century. He loved women; and women loved him. I find that thecapacity for love is fascinating, endlessly pliable and, surely, impossible to define.
Question: Is there specific information that you uncovered about these women that you feel as though would have been shocking for those reading?
Answer:The most shocking experience I uncovered was Fernande’s, at the hand of her violent husband, Paul Percheron, in 18991900, before she met Picasso. Living with Picasso, she was happy for the first time in her life.
as an extension of Picasso’s work, but as artists in their own right? Other than this book, how else would you wish for their art to be celebrated?
Question: Do you think there is a way in which we may be able to see these women, someday, not
Answers: We have been allowed to imagine these women as extensions of Picasso’s work because we knew so little about them. In fact, he often painted from memory or photographs, and they sat for him less frequently than has been assumed. Some of the six were artists: Olga was a dancer, Dora, a photographer and painter. Francoise was also a painter; and Fernande painted, although she never exhibited. All six were indubitably creative, fascinating women.
Under the Covers:
“The Bell Jar” is the only novel written by writer and poet Sylvia Plath. The work details Esther Greenwood's struggle for identity in a world where she is expected to conform to her role as a young woman in 1950’s America. The story is well worth reading with Sylvia Plath's signature use of language quickly painting a picture of the life of Esther Greenwood.
“The Handmaid's Tale” is a novel by author Margaret Atwood - Unfortunately relevant in a world where women's bodies are once again up for debate globally. The novel delves into topics such as identity, individual responsibility and systems of power. Providing a scathing critique of society's ideas of motherhood and purpose.
“Jane Eyre” by Charlotte Bronte is a novel that has been praised for its feminist narrative. Her work follows Jane Eyre as she progresses through her life. It comments on women's role within the home and how they are reduced to mothers and maids despite possessing rich inner lives and desiring more. The work was a critical piece in early feminist literature and inspired many to fight for better.
“Happening” by Annie Ernaux is a memoir that details the experience of a young woman get-
ting an abortion in the 1960s in France. The piece reveals unsettling truths about French society then but also wake you up to the reality of our society today.
"Why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft is a guide through the mind of an abuser, asking the question and giving you the answer for why they act in those ways. It dismisses common myths and clears up the narrative surrounding abusive people. Pulling on his own experience counseling abusive men Bancroft is a fountain of knowledge and delivers it in an exact and understandable manner.
“The Second Sex” by Simone de Beauvoir is a book that is considered the starting point of second-wave feminism. It touches on topics of increasing relevance both then and today. Discussing the role of women in society, and the burdens that they uniquely face the books questions the idea of men and male ness being viewed as the default state of the world.
by: Nihil
The moon shines a pale light, And her eyes peer from the dark. Her hand holds my fingers just right, On her lips there is a witty remark.
With the night for flee, I kiss her over the veil.
Because it isn’t a kiss if touch is frail, But it’s still love when others don’t see.
She whispers into my soul, How she wishes we could be more. To love is to swallow you whole, If only we were behind a closed door.
You and I: two violet flowers, Destined to bloom in the dark. If man says that this love sours, Let us go where ears don’t hark.
My most intimate friend, To die for you is mercy and art. Don’t let this night ever end, Within your ribcage find my beating heart.
-The Guilt of Being a Woman-
TW: rape, violence
When did women start to feel guilty for being women?
Was it between the 15th and the 18th century when women were accused of being witches and burnt alive? Was it when more than 2,000 years ago, Roman law gave a man life and death authority over his wife? Was it during the 10th century BCE when Tamar was raped by her half-brother Amnon in the bible simply because he desired her and did not accept her ‘no’?
It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, and it’s the last day of my internship. I am sweating in my room, waiting for my manager to join me for a last call before I end my six-month long contract. He knows about my master’s in Ireland but asks why I want to study there and what’s coming after that. I visited Ireland once before and I immediately fell in love. Living in the big city had many advantages but it also took away a part of my innocence, my light. I tell him that I don’t feel safe in Berlin as a woman. I had different, better experiences when I studied in Leeds. I am hoping for positive experiences in Ireland. I am wishing for safety. I tell him I don’t want to return to Berlin anytime soon. The bubble image I had of it has burst. What’s left are sharp shards of glass. When trying to pick them up, I’m only mak-
ing my hands bleed. Red. Why do I look guilty now? Stained hands when I didn’t do anything wrong. I only exist. Is being a woman a crime? Why else are we being punished? Why else are we being killed?
It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today. Driving into the city center started to fill me with anxiety a long time ago. The other day, I met my friend, and when I was going home, all the trains were cancelled. I had to change several times. Although I didn’t leave my friend late and was planning on being home before 10pm, the journey took double the time. I was almost home when a man approached me. “Is this the right train to the airport?” I tell him which train he needs to take. Why is he asking me? He speaks German and has a phone in his hand. He does not look lost. It’s almost 11pm, and it’s pitch-black outside. There are other people on the platform that stood closer to him than I did. Everybody else was a man. He later tried approaching me again, but I walked away. Now I’m scared. He’s asking where I’m heading and pretends to know me from somewhere. I remember how my sister told me a guy who fits his appearance approached her last week and told her the same things. “I know you. I have seen you at this music University. You
study music, right?” He told my sister the same thing. He asked her the same questions. Did he learn this script by heart? Why does he not realize this is uncom fortable? His hair is greying. He is over 30, or at least that’s what he told my sister the other week. Why is he targeting young female students? I go far away from him, ignoring his questions. He takes the same train as me, and I know he will get off at the same stop as me. My sister told me. When he leaves the train, I wait. I wait on the platform and leave distance between us. I make sure other people are in-between us. ‘Aren’t you overreacting? Sounds like he understood your rejection and is leaving you alone.’ I wait in the tunnel. I have to go to the left, but he also turns left. I wait for a few minutes, and he walks past me. He changed direction, turned around to take his actual way home. He knows the area and his way home. He was never lost. He is looking around, his eyes are searching, and before he can see me, I rush behind a couple and run home.
“74-Year-Old Woman Dies After Being Pushed Into Moving Train; Man Charged With Murder” July 4, 2024 (Abc News)
When I arrive home, I don’t feel safe. He could’ve followed me. He could’ve remembered where I lived and waited for me. Ring my doorbell when I’m home by myself. I feel disgusted and scared. I stopped going out late because I became paranoid. I try to be with friends constantly. I have been followed home more than once.
“Sydney woman murdered by stalker in ‘vicious and prolonged attack’”
February 16, 2024 (The Sydney Morning Herald)
“Man Who Raped Woman In Front Of Other Passengers On London Underground Jailed” December 12, 2023 (Sky News)
“Woman Dragged From Railway Station And Raped”
April 8, 2024 (Bbc)
Recently, I have been so stressed. I suppress the memories of the incident. Is being a woman a crime? If not, then why am I convicted? Why do I feel guilty? Guilty of being the trigger for men just by existing but at the same time, guilty for being alive. None of the femicide victims deserved to die. Why were they punished for living? It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, but my blood is not boiling because of the heat. It is boiling because of the news I just read of a young woman being raped multiple times before being killed in a hospital in India last week (The Guardian). She was a doctor, sleeping during her break, thinking she was safe.
It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, and it must have been as hot in Palestine when soldiers raped women in front of their husbands and children (CNN). It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, but my heart freezes when I think of the 166 women that were killed in Turkey in the first half of 2024 by their (ex-) spouses or men close to them (hurriyetdailynews). It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, but Lucia Felici (76) will never get to feel the Italian sunshine on her skin again. Her husband shot her on August 9, 2024 (agenzianova).
It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, but Nizama Hecimovic (38) will never get to hug her parents in Bosnia again. Her ex-partner livestreamed her murder on Instagram on August 11, 2023. (BalkanInsight).
It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, but Nicolette Ghirxi (48) will never get to walk along the harbor in Malta again. Her ex-partner stabbed her to death on August 12, 2024 (Times Malta).
It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, but the world is ice-cold.
It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, and now I am sweating again. But this time I am not sweating because of the heat in my room. I am uncomfortable on the train when I notice the old man sitting opposite of me staring at my chest while I am writing this. His dark sunglasses can’t hide the lust in his eyes. It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, and I am worried the pepper spray in my purse that I don’t leave the
house without anymore, will burst in the heat. It’s 33 degrees in Berlin today, and I am worried that if there won’t be change, I will burst.
When will the guilt end?
Anna-KatharinaPriesterath
Little Note of
Self Care Dearest Reader for You, -----------------------Rhys-----------------------
“It is easy to get caught in the loop of bad things that happen in the world.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t continuously be educating yourself about how to improve the world around you. Pride; Palestine; Black Lives Matter; Femicide… we should always want to stand up and make feminism heard, make feminism seen, make the world better.
But there’s a saying: You can’t help anyone before helping yourself. You must make sure to put on your own oxygen mask because you cannot help anyone if you die.
Maybe this is not true in all cases, but in a lot of them, it is. Learning to walk the line of selflessness and self-care is a difficult one, and many of us struggle with it.
And so, this is your page of self-care reminders. Please read and show yourself some compassion – you’re a human living your life for the first time, just like everyone else.”
Physical Self-Care
• Wrap yourself in the softest blanket you can find
• Take a warm shower or bath
• Go for a walk, even if that’s just around the corner
• Listen to music that helps you relax/feel energised
• Eat something, even if it’s small or “imperfect"
Emotional Self-Care
• Write down the bad feelings
• Say an affirmation out loud
• Cry
• Talk to a friend/call a hotline
• Just allow the feelings to exist
Down:
(1) A feeling when alone on the street (6)
(2) A basic healthcare right (8)
(5) Something sharp or some thing non-consensual (7)
(6) At home (8)
Across:
(3) Twists your mind to convince you otherwise (12)
(4) When the dew drops shine (4)
(6) To pull something or to dress up artistically (4)
(7) Unusual - gay (5)
(8) Scares off the darkness (10)
Thank
Faith Sumastre
Chairperson of Feminist Society 2024/2025
City Print Ltd
Societies Office Staff Models
Boo Boo Oopsie
@boo_boo_oopsie
Arlene Odd
@arlene_odd Asia Ciolkosz
Photographer
Katelyn Leahy @phototree.ie
Background photography and art Asia Ciolkosz
@asia_ciolkosz_art
Down:
(1) unsafe
(2) abortion
(5) spiking
(6) domestic Crossword answers
Across:
(3) manipulative
(4) sunrise
(6) drag
(7) queer
(8) nightlight
Abortion Access Care
Information
Available up to 12 weeks in the Republic of Ireland
Must be confirmed by a doctor
There is a 3-day waiting period
Places
Some local GP services
Family Planning Clinics
Specialised Health Clinics
Hospitals
These are free, always, for anyone living in the Republic of Ireland
Mental Health Access
If you are in immediate danger, please do not hesitate to call 999/112. They are there to help.
Otherwise, the following phoneline options are available to you:
Samaritans – 116 123 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
Niteline UCC – 1800 32 32 42 (Sundays to Thursdays, 9 pm - 1 am)
Pieta House – 1800 247 247 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
Aware – 1800 80 48 48 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week)
If seeking help in general, please do not hesitate to contact the free counselling service that UCC provides.
MyMind also provides discounted student rates for therapy.
Sexual Health Access
The HSE free home STI (sexually transmitted infection) testing service is available to anyone aged 17 or older who lives in the Republic of Ireland. Order one at http://sh24.ie/
To access free contraception, you need to meet three criteria. Be aged 17 - 35
Be living in Ireland
Have a PPS number
Make an appointment with your GP or doctor to discuss your options for contraception. You do not have to pay for the visit or prescription for approved products.
Condoms are not free under this scheme, however, they are often free via community outreaches – the UCC Student Union provides free condoms if necessary.
