Who are you, reader, reading my poems an hundred years hence?
I cannot send you one single flower from this wealth of the spring, one single streak of gold from yonder clouds.
Open your door and look abroad.
From your blossoming garden gather fragrant memories of the vanished flowers of an hundred years before.
In the joy of your heart may you feel the living joy that sang one spring morning, sending its glad voice across an hundred years.
My friend’s kid is currently in a classic phase of teenhood: insisting that he doesn’t need a coat, regardless of how cold it is. From our perspective as adults, it’s hard not to laugh at him, not only because not wearing a coat in a Wisconsin winter is frankly ridiculous, but also because we both remember going through similar phases ourselves. Why do so many kids decide that it’s cool to be cold? Is being warm-blooded a sign of weakness? Is it babyish to be comfortable? Apparently there’s just something deeply embarrassing about having a human body that’s susceptible to cold weather, and the best way to avoid embarrassment is to shrug off your coat and suffer.
Zoom out, though, and you start to realize that much of the embarrassment we encounter in our adult lives is similar. Needing help—whether it’s a coat to keep you warm, medicine to keep your brain healthy, or someone to hold your baby while you take a nap—can make us feel weak or even defective. It’s so easy to feel like you’re the only person who has ever experienced this particular vulnerability, and it’s so common to choose to suffer in silence instead of asking for help and using the tools at hand to help you get through it.
At some point in my own life, I realized that sharing my struggles could help other people get past their own embarrassment, and that seemed like a superpower. Being able to say, “You are not alone. I have struggled with this too,” suddenly seemed like the greatest gift I could give someone. By sharing my own struggles, I could show someone else that what they were feeling wasn’t weird or shameful, and that they shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask for help.
In 2018, I tweeted about a symptom of depression that I had both experienced and witnessed in my friends: a persistent mental block around a seemingly simple chore. I called it the Impossible Task. I talked about how the problem was compounded by the voice in your head calling you a screw-up for not being able to complete something that seemed so basic, and I asked people to be more gentle with themselves.
The response to this tweet was overwhelming. Hundreds of people responded with, “I thought this was just me!” “I thought this was just my own personal failing!” “Now that I have a name for it, it doesn’t feel as daunting.” Over and over, I reassured people that they weren’t alone. In the comments threads, people shared their own stories and helped each other brainstorm about solutions to problems. Telling my stories made space for other people to acknowledge their own, and together we swept away the shame we had inherited from generations of people who insisted we should keep our human frailties secret from each other.
Making yourself vulnerable can be scary, but it can also be a gift to everyone around you. Acknowledging your own flaws and fears and messiness can be embarrassing, but it can also be the key that unlocks a door for someone else. Remembering that we’re all in same boat— flawed, anxious freaked out, exhausted—makes it easier to trust that other people might meet your confessions with grace. As we enter this month of trust and vulnerability, let’s try to be brave and vulnerable together. ◊
Trust is a risk.
Some years ago, I was doing some volunteer work with a group of Unitarian Universalists, and near the start of our time together, we had a discussion about covenant—about the promises we were going to make to ourselves and each other about how we were going to be together. This might be a familiar conversation to you, if you’ve participated in a Journey Circle or taught or attended a Religious Exploration class. If whatever it is we’re setting out to do matters, then it is always worth the time to establish what we can and should expect from each other.
This particular conversation for this particular covenant began with the expectation that we would trust one another. There were nods around the table and there seemed to be a general sense that this was a good and obvious expectation. We were about to move on to the next point, when someone wisely spoke up and said something like, “Trust takes work; I can’t just act like it’s there when we haven’t done the work of building it together. And I don’t want to be given trust I haven’t earned. I want to be able to trust each of you, and I want to be trustworthy for each of you. But I don’t want us to pretend that just putting one line on paper does all of that, all at once.”
That challenge sparked a rich, deep conversation about what each of us really needed in order to be able to trust the other people in the room and the group itself. One voice moved us out of the familiar, practiced groove of setting down the words of a covenant and into the difficult work of actually living out a covenantal relationship.
And ironically—or, perhaps, fittingly—speaking up like that was, itself, an act of trust. It’s a vulnerable thing to ask for what you need, especially when what you need means letting go of the easy, familiar way and doing something hard.
Throughout this month, we will be exploring the spiritual them of Trust and Vulnerability, particularly the way in which risking the one helps to make the other more possible, in a virtuous cycle. In a world where loss and trauma are all-too real, trusting others and being vulnerable with them does not come easily for many of us. Yet, communities like ours rely on trust to sustain our network of relationships. And, the moments of vulnerability that trust helps to call out of us are the same moments where growth and a deeper self-understanding become possible. ◊
There is remarkable joy in kicking off our Stewardship Campaign this month knowing that we will be together. This means hearing the laughter in the Commons as we share coffee and stories with new and old friends. It means seeing families and our elders in the Library together sharing needle work projects while keeping an eye on the youngest nestled in the kids’ corner on a tree pillow with books. We have quietly become a community centered on being together in many new ways while also celebrating the familiar rhythm of our gatherings that bring comfort and joy for so many.
In the 2023-2024 Stewardship Campaign material you received, and at services this month, you will hear more about our theme this year of Becoming. We are also hoping that the return of our annual Stewardship Campaign in person is a familiar reminder of the importance each of you provide in this work we do together on our theme. You will hear voices from members throughout the month on how centering our families, finding the joy in volunteering, and the many ways our welcoming FUS staff and community provide the best examples of how belonging and Becoming are connected for us.
Hosting a variety of events and new ways to gather this past year is just one example of what we are already Becoming as a thriving community. We have leaned into the diversity of interests and ideas—so many coming from you—to align the strengths found in that diversity. We have learned that by intentionally opening our hearts and minds to what is possible as a more inclusive community, we can reimagine together the future we want to become.
As with all Stewardship Campaigns, we remain grateful for your financial contributions to the community, which supports new opportunities and sustains our community life. What we are lifting up for our 2023-2024 Stewardship Campaign is the goal of attaining greater financial sustainability as one pillar in our Becoming journey. The generous pledges from you, our members, are what sustain the work and needs of our community.
During our Month of Giving, we will be sharing the results of our 2023-2024 Stewardship Campaign weekly. This will be an opportunity for our generous community to reflect on the financial commitments we are making together. We all know that every gift to this campaign is the perfect gift as every commitment helps us reach our annual financial goals. ◊
MarCh 1
Pledge packets in your mailbox
MarCh 4 & 5
Weekend of Promise as we kick off our Month of Giving
MarCh 18 & 19: Celebration Weekend
Join us during services as we offer our commitments to this beloved community You can pledge financially and also share a commitment of time or talent, the three pillars of our stewardship work
MarCh 25 & 26
The final weekend, filled with gratitude and love for the good we have done together
We are better together so please join us during our Month of Giving!
This month we are spotlighting the Compass Points class, which is offered to 6th and 7th graders on Saturdays, and just 7th graders on Sundays. This class leads the participants on a yearlong spiritual journey to:
• Sort out their feelings about themselves and their world as they do the difficult work of starting to create their adult selves.
• Discover what they believe about life’s big questions—the nature of humanity and God, beliefs about death and faith;
• Think independently, assume responsibility, make decisions, explore values and adopt the practice of radical hospitality.
• Acquire enough background in Unitarian Universalist history, polity and theology that they can know and express what Unitarian Universalism stands for;
• Understand that religious liberty is a hardwon legacy that continues to need protection.
The class is an open and inviting space where the kids can express their opinions and beliefs on a range of topics covered. They are encouraged to form opinions and after learning more about them, a chance to change their minds. As this is a time where our participants are becoming more aware of the world around them, this class gives them an opportunity to explore opinions and understand other’s points of view. Some topics covered include radical hospitality, images of the divine, ways in which the Bible is important to UUs, the merging of Unitarian and Universalism, our UU martyrs, Transcendentalism, and talking more in depth about the UU seven principles.
I met with the Saturday class and was impressed with how the kids were comfortable expressing what they have learned so far this year. They are finding their own voices and talking freely with the teachers about their opinions. Everyone is respectful of each other and has been contributing with their experiences in the world and as UU’s. When asked what they as the students felt about the class, one said the compass represents the journey we take in life, that it can change directions at any time.
Saturday’s class made treats at the Ronald McDonald House as their Faith in Action project. The kids enjoyed making goodies and were able to experience their good will with the treats disappearing quickly! Sunday’s class volunteered at The Boys and Girls Club, unloading donated toys and helping sort them for the winter holidays. Both were great opportunities for our kids to get out into the community and see the benefit of helping those in need.
This year we have 24 youth participating in our two Compass Points sections. Saturday teachers include Krista Leale, Susen Schroeder, Sylvia Ramirez, and Vance Miller; Sunday teachers include Jay Ranney, Terri Felton, Shelly Feaver, and Liz Preston. ◊
[the snow is melting]
The snow is melting and the village is flooded with children.
Kobayashi Issa
Translated by Robert Hass
Compass Points Class in 2023
Middle School. Do you remember it? I was not a huge fan of shifting from my rural, cozy elementary school to the large middle school in town that pulled kids from all the elementary schools in Chippewa County. I was so lost.
My first memories are chaotic and of being jostled down a crowded hallway on the first day of classes, ending up in the ninthgrade wing. A kind principal walked me to my homeroom on the other side of the many-winged building.
If you are a teen or know a teen who would like a safe space to be with other teens, like I wanted way back in grade six, we have opportunities here at FUS for them. There is a Social Justice Program for teens that is in its infancy. This will begin to meet regularly, twice a month, in March. Dates coming soon. Also, there is a new group for parents of kids who identify as transgender and non-binary. The parents will meet the fourth Sunday of each month at 10:45 am, and the kids will be able to do activities together in a separate area. To learn more, you can contact Leslie Ross at leslier@fusmadison.org or Kristi Sprague at kristis@fusmadison.org .
After several months, my parents nearly pulled me out of this school because I could not sleep at night, fretting about the next day, the noisy classrooms, the girls who were unkind. By December, I finally acclimated. I found a group of girls in the band who were like me: sensitive, bookish, “nerdy,” wearing glasses and braces, and not into pop culture. We could be “real” with each other. Soon, we started to hang out after school, have sleepovers, pass notes between classes, study together, and find more girls like us. In being who we were, we made a space for ourselves to feel safe, accepted and heard. I did not realize it then, but I now see how much trust and vulnerability it asked of us all.
On December 11, we hosted our very first Sewing Machine Sunday. This event grew out of a conversation at Gay Art Club, a pop-up queer artmaking group organized through Instagram (@gay.artclub) by Elizabeth MacIntyre.
With this event, we wanted to provide a welcoming space for LGTBQIA+ folks to learn to use sewing machines and work on projects together. We shared skills, and also materials, to help beginner sewists get started and experienced makers to share their wisdom. The day was a group effort! Kandra Shefchik, organizer of Darn Queers! brought several sewing machines, and Ellie Leafgren brought tools to clean and repair them. The event saw over 20 participants, who shared in the fabric swap, traded tips, and even created their first ever garments.
Our 2nd installment of Sewing Machine Sunday will be held on March 19 from 12-3 pm in Rooms ABC. This is an open gathering, welcoming all ages and skill levels. One of our goals is to build intergenerational connections at this event. We recognize the long tradition of quilting in our FUS community, and invite experienced quilters to come and share your wisdom! We will have a selection of cotton fabric suitable for quilting, and a few sewing machines available to use. Bring your own machine and project, table space will be first come first served! Masks are required for all attendees. This event is a collaboration between FUS 20s and 30s group, Xan Hendrick (FUS Program Assistant) and community partners Kandra Shefchik and Ellie Leafgren.
In-person worship services: Saturdays @ 4:30 pm & Sundays @ 9 & 11 am
Online worship service: Sundays @ 9 am
Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Minister
The economy in which all of us are enmeshed, whether we like it or not, reduces each thing—and to a large extent each person—to dollars and cents. Our shared principle that all people are worthy as ends unto themselves is a counter-cultural value. One which we rely on each other, in community, to help us practice and sustain. In this service, we will inaugurate our 2023-2024 Stewardship Campaign, and consider how our support for this congregation depends upon and expresses our trust in each other. Society Choir will sing Faure and Paulus. On Saturday, Linda Warren will play harp solos by Andres and Naderman. On Sunday, Bryan Rainey and Linda Warren will play piano & harp duets by O’Carolan.
Rev. Kelly Crocker & Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Ministers
Madeleine L’Engle said, “To be alive is to be vulnerable.” And we are at our most alive in the places where we can be vulnerable—when we have built the sorts of relationships in which we can trust in others and they can trust in us. Friendships, familial bonds, and co-ministries all require such work. In this service, Team Kelly will reflect together on how trust is built and maintained over time. Meeting House Chorus will sing a Buddhist mantra and a number from “Sweet Charity.”
Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Minister
What does it mean for us, in practice, to be vulnerable enough to share? To share our hopes and our fears? To share the fragments of the truth entrusted to us? To share our labors, and to share our wealth, upon which, our spiritual community so thoroughly depends? Join us for a service in which we will ask these questions and celebrate some of their answers, as we bless our pledges for the 2023-2024 fiscal year. On Saturday, Choristers and Cherub Choir will sing. On Sunday, Heather Thorpe will sing.
Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Minister
Trust only really comes into play when it is challenged or challenging. And for a faith which teaches that truth can come from any source, and that every life is precious—regardless of how much harm might be done in the course of it—challenges abound. Come to share in a service about what it means to open to the truth; even when those truths are inconvenient. And to trust in justice; even when that justice is unsatisfying. On Saturday, Linda Warren will play music by Harper Tasche on celtic harp. On Sunday, Trevor Stevenson, fortepiano, and James Waldo, cello, play Beethoven.
We send our love to the family of Marion Meyer who passed away in Portland, OR, on February 5. Marion was a long time member of FUS and a docent for the Friends of the Meeting House. A memorial service will be held in Madison in August.
A memorial service for June Johnson will be held on March 4 at 11 am in the Landmark Auditorium.
A memorial service for Jane Clay will be held on March 18 at 11 am in the Landmark Auditorium.
We send our love to Marion, June and Jane’s families as they mourn, remember, and prepare to celebrate these long and beautiful lives.
If you have a life transition you’d like to share with the readers of this newsletter, please send it to mollyb@fusmadison.org.
Get information about upcoming services and events, see photos and videos, and connect with other FUS folks on our social media platforms!
FUS Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/fusmadison
FUS Community Virtual Gathering Space (FB Group): https://www.facebook.com/groups/fusmadison
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fusmadison/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FUSmadison
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/fusmadison
Website: https://fusmadison.org/
Rev. Kelly J. Crocker, Co-Senior Minister kellyc@fusmadison.org x.112
Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Minister kellyaj@fusmadison.org x.113
Monica Nolan, Executive Director monican@fusmadison.org x.115
Janet Swanson, Director Membership & Adult Programs janets@fusmadison.org x.124
Leslie Ross, Director Children’s Religious Exploration leslier@fusmadison.org x.119
Kristi Sprague, Social Justice Coordinator kristis@fusmadison.org x.125
Xan Hendrick, Program Assistant alexandrah@fusmadison.org x.116
Dr. Drew Collins, Music Director drewc@fusmadison.org x.121
Heather Thorpe, Children & Youth Choir Director thorpeh2@gmail.com
Linda Warren, Assistant Music Director linda.warren@tds.net
Molly Backes, Communications Coordinator mollyb@fusmadison.org x. 117
Cheryll Mellenthin, Project Coordinator cheryllm@fusmadison.org x. 130
Tom Miskelly, Facilities Manager tomm@fusmadison.org x. 120
Dan Carnes, A/V & Event Specialist danc@fusmadison.org
Steven Gregorius, Event Specialist
Alyssa Ryanjoy, President
Lorna Aaronson
Annelise Alvin
Jennifer Seeker Conroy (President Elect)
Joy Stieglitz Gottschalk
Emily Cusic Putnam
John McGevna, Secretary
Ann Schaffer
Our lay ministers provide a confidential, caring presence to congregants undergoing stressful life challenges or joyous occasions. Under the guidance of our called ministers, they promote the spirit of community through direct service in visiting the ill and healing, facilitating support groups, and more.
