The Madison Unitarian | April 2023

Primavera

Spring comes quickly: overnight the plum tree blossoms, the warm air fills with bird calls.

In the plowed dirt, someone has drawn a picture of the sun with rays coming out all around but because the background is dirt, the sun is black. There is no signature.

Alas, very soon everything will disappear: the bird calls, the delicate blossoms. In the end, even the earth itself will follow the artist’s name into oblivion.

Nevertheless, the artist intends a mood of celebration.

How beautiful the blossoms are—emblems of the resilience of life.

The birds approach eagerly.

Louise Glück, 2007

Afew weeks ago, I traveled with one of my closest friends to visit another friend (who just happens to live on a tropical island— the sacrifices we make for friendship!) As we sat on the runway, preparing to leave snowy Wisconsin for a week, my friend and I chatted about the long checklists of tasks we’d completed before vacation. For her, a full-time mom, it was kid stuff: making sure all forms were signed and all schedules coordinated, confirming plans with her husband, worrying that something would slip through the cracks while she was away. For me, it was work stuff: setting up Red Floors and social media posts in advance, wrapping up revisions on our new CRE brochure, creating detailed notes about how to fix the website if it broke. After I’d rattled off my list, my friend sighed and said that sometimes she wishes she had a “real” job, that it would be easier to feel like she “deserved” a vacation if she clocked into a 9 to 5 every day. I protested, reminding her of the million little things she’d done in the last week—the things she’d just listed for me! “I know, I know,” she said, “but still.”

“You know,” I told her, “one of the core beliefs of UUs is that every single person has inherent worth—regardless of what job they have or how they spend their days. We’re all worthy, inherently—and that means we all deserve to rest! It’s not something you have to earn by clocking a certain number of hours or making a certain amount of money.”

“I love that,” my friend said. “But how do you learn to believe it about yourself?”

Well, isn’t that the million dollar question? How do we disentangle our sense of self-worth from

FROM THE EDITOR

Molly Backes, Communications Coordinator

our “productivity,” whether it involves more visible labor (a job, a boss, a paycheck) or invisible labor (caring for children and elders, cooking and cleaning and remembering everything from how many eggs are in the fridge to when the kids need vaccinations) or even chosen projects like hobbies and sports teams and art? Somehow we let ourselves believe that if we don’t fill up as many minutes of the day as possible with something “productive,” then we hardly deserve to take up space on the planet, much less take a vacation!

So how do we get out of it? How do we begin to believe that we are, in fact, inherently worthy?

First of all, we must recognize the source of the message that our worth is tied to our productivity. It comes from capitalism—a capitalism rooted in hundreds of years of Protestant and Calvinist ethos, from John Smith telling starving colonists, “He that will not work, shall not eat.” But that’s not us! We’re UUs; we believe that everyone should be fed, even if they didn’t bring a dish to share at the potluck.

And once we recognize that the voices telling us we’re not worthy are capitalist hogwash, we must RESIST! Resist by resting! Resist by going on vacation with your dearest friend! Resist by being gentle and kind to yourself no matter how many items on your to-do list remain undone. Resist by spending a whole afternoon swinging in the hammock, listening to the birds, watching the clouds go by. You deserve it—not because you work so hard, not because you’re so virtuous, but because you are a human being on this Earth, and for that reason, you have inherent worth. We all do. ◊

FROM THE MINISTERS

Rev. Kelly Crocker, Co-Senior Minister

One of my most vivid childhood memories is of my best friend’s grandmother, whom we lovingly called “Grandma Thelma.” Grandma Thelma loved potato chips, game shows, and seersucker pants. She made macaroni salad with mayonnaise and green onions, and I remember thinking it was delicious and fancy. My friend Colleen and I would spend our summers running in and out of the house, stopping only to see if we could yell out the Wheel of Fortune answer before Grandma Thelma figured it out. It was a great fortune of this life that I was blessed with an extra grandma. My vivid memory is of Grandma Thelma sitting on the couch in the living room, in those seersucker pants, yelling to me as I left the house. From the day I met her until her death, every time I left the house she would yell, “go find some joy!” Her life was hard, she was widowed young, she worked long hours to raise her children alone, her body was always hurting somewhere. Yet here she was, yelling at us to go out and find some joy.

Mary Oliver wrote, “If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.”

I wish I could read these words to Grandma Thelma today. I wish I could see her sly smile spread across her face as she said, “See? I told you so.” From an early

age, I had this wise woman teaching me that joy was something to be grabbed and held on to, in the face of everything life brings, joy could be an act of resistance.

When asked, “What is joy?” Rev. Willie James Jennings of Duke Divinity School responds, “I look at joy as an act of resistance against despair and all its forces.” He goes on to explain that when he says despair, he means, “all the ways in which life can be presented to us as not worth living.”

We are surrounded by reasons to despair. Our days are full of moments of sorrow. Anti-LGBTQ legislation being passed at a rapid rate. A planet crying out desperately for our help. Democracy under assault. Women’s rights and children’s rights and the rights of the ill and the old threatened in unprecedented ways. We can each add our own sorrows to this list.

Some say this is no time to think about joy. I think that’s because joy is often thought of as times without pain or suffering. But what if we thought of joy not as separate from sorrow, as we know how tangled and intertwined they really are. Or as Frederick Buechner says, “Joy is a mystery because it can happen anywhere, anytime, even under the most unpromising circumstances, even in the midst of suffering, with tears in its eyes.” I love thinking of joy as what emerges as we face it all together, reminding each other of the beauty that remains, how it comes when we lift one another up and care for one another in the face of all of it. What if joy is what grows when we help each other hold our heartbreak?

Perhaps then we will see joy not only as a practice of resistance, but as necessary to our survival. So I say to you, Go find some joy! ◊

Lay Ministry Program

George Bernard Shaw once wrote, “There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” We all have those stories in our lives of the people who prepared food for us as an act of love. Whether it was our grownups when we were children, and they came into our room with a bowl of homemade soup or a partner or friend making us a cup of tea and a simple meal at the end of a long day. We know that food is so much more than food and often says the things we want to say when our words fail.

This is true in our families and here at FUS. Our Lay Ministry program supports members in various ways, one of which is providing meals for members who are in need due to illness, emergencies, or new life. Members who receive these meals have a tangible symbol of the love and support of all of us. A recent recipient of the meal ministry program said, “While recovering from surgery and enduring cancer treatments, I sure didn’t feel like eating, nor could I face cooking.

Thank you, FUS meal ministry volunteers, for helping me through some trying times!”

How does it work? Our lay minister coordinator, Jane Richardson, discusses food preferences and allergies, if any, and a schedule is created using Sign Up Genius. Emails then go out to our Wonderful Meal Volunteers, who sign up to deliver a meal, usually on a twice weekly schedule for between 6 and 12 weeks. We have just started making meals for one of our families currently experiencing a medical challenge.

We invite anyone in our congregation who might be interested in becoming a Meal Volunteer to contact Jane at jane.richardson711@gmail.com. Meals can be purchased if you are not into cooking. And if you are not able to deliver a meal, we have volunteers who will do that part for you. This is a great opportunity to connect with and support each other. ◊

“If you really want to make a friend, go to someone’s house and eat with him... The people who give you their food give you their heart."

— Cesar Chavez

CHILDREN’S RELIGIOUS EXPLORATION

Leslie Ross, Director of CRE

Children’s re registration Begins april 1

April is one of my favorite months of the year. Spring is more fully present, it’s my birthday month, and it’s time for registration to begin for next fall’s classes! I love the cycle of the academic year, and April reminds me that new beginnings are just around the corner. The month will be full of activity as we watch the registrations roll in, recruit teachers for the fall, send our Coming of Age teens off to their Wilderness Retreat, and honor so many teachers who have brought our CRE program to life (don’t miss our acknowledgement of them during our April 29 and 30 worship services).

Our 2023-2024 classes will be held during our Saturday 4:30 pm and Sunday 9 am worship services. Next year's classes include:

• Celebrating Me & My World (pre-K) Sunday only

• Experiences with the Web of Life (K/1st) Saturday and Sunday

• Holidays and Holy Days/Moral Tales (2nd/3rd gr.) Saturday and Sunday

• Bibleodeon (4th/5th gr.) Saturday and Sunday

• Building Bridges (6th/7th gr.) Saturday; (6th gr only) Sunday

• Compass Points (7th gr.) Sunday only

• Mind, Body and Soul (8th gr.) Saturday and Sunday

• Coming of Age (9th gr.) Sunday only

You can register at www.fusmadison.org/cre/classes/.

Help make the year successful for our kids! Each class is staffed by a team of four teachers, so we need a lot of teachers to pull things off. Many of our teachers are parents; many are not. We love them all! If you're interested in learning more about teaching, or if you're ready to jump right in, please contact me at leslier@fusmadison.org.

SPOTLIGHT ON: TREASURE HUNTING

Robyn M. Perrin, Member of the Children’s RE Ministry Team

Every weekend this year, a total of 32 kindergarteners and first graders at First Unitarian Society have been gathering with their volunteer teachers for the Treasure Hunting class. The curriculum introduces the basic tenets and principles of Unitarian Universalism as “treasures” that are added to a chest of learning through games, stories, music, and art.

When asked what they enjoyed most about teaching, many of the teachers noted the curiosity, creativity, and capabilities of Treasure Hunting students. “They come in with a lot of knowledge already and are eager to show what they know while learning new ideas and skills... they also have a great spirit of fun,” said Dory Lightfoot, PhD.

Mark DuRussell agreed, noting how much the students enjoy expressing themselves. “They’re delightful. We’re constantly amazed at their unique insights!”

A recent 9 am Sunday class provided a chance to observe the students and teachers in action. Students filed in, and a brief movement activity helped “get the wiggles out” and set the stage for teachers Florence Edwards Miller and Melissa Apland to describe the focus of the lesson: creation stories.

Everyone formed a circle on the classroom rug and participated in an opening ritual that included a chalice lighting with battery-operated votive candles, and sharing joys and concerns. Edwards Miller and Apland then guided the class, alternating stories with movement activities, capping the class off with an invitation to create drawings of what each student imagined the beginning of the universe to look like while Edwards Miller read a book titled The Everything Seed: A Story of Beginnings.

“This is the first class in which students talk about Big Ideas—our UU principles, ideas of God, Creation, Joy, Fear, Happiness, etc.,” said teacher Vicki Jones.

The most important goal, Jones explained, is helping the students connect with each other. Outdoor time on the playground, hide-andseek, and story time of any kind have all proven to be treasured moments in addition to the lessons themselves.

“This class provides an opportunity to learn, yes, but mostly it’s about building community among the children,” said Jones, adding that regular attendance is the key to success for nurturing strong bonds between classmates.

When asked how FUS members can best support Treasure Hunting students and teachers, several teachers emphasized inclusion. “I want the community to remember that FUS is not just for adults,” said Lightfoot. “All of us are part of the community—including the youngest members. And preschool and early elementary school children have not yet become bored with interactions with adults. They are still very interested in adult attention or interaction.”

Ultimately, the teachers felt they have learned as much from Treasure Hunting students as vice versa. Gwen Pine felt that teaching Treasure Hunting gave her a sense of connectedness to the youth of FUS, describing them as inspiring. “They understand these concepts much better than I thought and are willing to talk about it. The world is going to be just fine when they are in charge!”

SPOTLIGHT ON: TREASURE HUNTING

Mirrorment

Birds are flowers flying and flowers perched birds.

Treasure Hunting Class

A. R. Ammons, 1990

FIGHTING TOGETHER

FOR A WORLD IN WHICH EVERY BODY IS SACRED

Xan Hendrick, Program Assistant

When I learned the seven principles as a kid, “The right to a free and responsible search for truth and meaning” always stood out to me. It inspired me to know that I could continue to question and grow for my whole life. If each person has this right, then we must support the freedom to explore gender, sexuality, and expression for everyone. At this time in our country, we are facing a coordinated, aggressive attack on trans health care and safety. It is urgent for us to live our UU principles, and fight for the rights of everyone in the LGBTQIA community. While the issue is huge and can seem overwhelming, our community at First Unitarian can be a great place to have a positive impact, especially for our children and youth.

My earliest memory of meeting out and proud LGBTQIA+ people was in my UU church growing up. Our minister was a lesbian, as were many of the teachers in my Religious Exploration classes. My first time meeting a trans woman was also in church. Several kids in my youth group came from families with two moms, or were adopted, or lived with extended family. I met queer youth and received comprehensive queer affirming sex ed through our teen programming. These early experiences taught me to respect differences and be a loving, well-rounded person. Growing up in this environment also made me confident that my family would fully accept me and love me, when I came out as queer as a young adult.

However, far too many young people do not have this experience. It takes a lot of courage to live as your authentic self, and while it can be deeply fulfilling and beautiful to come into our

identities as queer and/or trans people, it does not always feel that way. These legislative and cultural attacks on the LGBTQ community impact people of all ages, but youth are especially vulnerable.

• 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.

• Nearly 1 in 5 transgender and nonbinary youth attempted suicide and LGBTQ youth of color reported higher rates than their white peers.

• LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not.

• Risk of suicide in trans and nonbinary youth drops by 73% when receiving gender-affirming medical care. (This same care is now being denied in several states, and youth are being forced to detransition.)

Source: The Trevor Project 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health

Each of us can do our part to become more informed about these issues and speak up for trans rights. We can all strive to be more welcoming as a community, volunteer with our children and youth, and take action against hateful legislation. Our collective resistance to the rising wave of hatred can take many forms, and we don’t have to do it alone. ◊

UUA UPLIFT RESOURCES

“At a moment when so many legislatures are debating hateful laws, Unitarian Universalism affirms what is true yesterday, today, and every day:

Trans people are divine. There is no such thing as other people’s children.

We join together in fighting for a world in which all of us are free and thriving.”

—from Rev. Michael J. Crumpler at the UUA

Want to learn more about how you can support the trans and nonbinary people in our community, fight anti-trans legislation, and more? Check out these resources from the UUA:

Read more about Side With Love’s UPLIFT Action campaign for LGBTQ, Gender, & Reproductive Justice .

Attend the UPLIFT Trans/Nonbinary Monthly Gathering, open to all ages of trans/nonbinary+ UUs (and friends of UUism).

Read about how to support trans and nonbinary youth in your congregation .

Consider these Questions about Transgender Inclusion and Affirmation (pdf) .

Check out this list of 10 Ways to Be More Welcoming and Inclusive of Transgender People

Watch this webinar from UPLIFT Action & Side With Love lifting up the faithful work UUs are engaging in right now in the context of the wave of hateful legislation and violence against trans and queer people.

Get this list of talking points and other tools to help UUs thward anti-transgender bills and attacks .

This list is far from exhaustive! You’ll find even more at uua.org and sidewithlove.org.

A MONTH OF SERVICES

In-person worship services: Saturdays @ 4:30 pm & Sundays @ 9 & 11 am

Online worship service: Sundays @ 9 am

APRIL 1 & 2

ALL MUSIC WEEKEND

Twice each year, services at FUS center around music. Saturday’s service will have a hymn-sing format, so get ready to sing! What is your favorite hymn? We will take requests from the congregation. The theme is “How Sweet the Sound,” and will feature several settings of “Amazing Grace” in honor of that hymn’s 250th anniversary. Sunday’s services will feature Meeting House Chorus and Society Choir, with a small orchestra, and soloists performing excerpts from Vivaldi’s “Gloria” and other works. Come see why FUS’s music program is considered among the best in Madison, and why this long-running tradition is so beloved.

APRIL 7 @ 5 PM*

GOOD FRIDAY SERVICE

Rev. Kelly Crocker & Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Ministers

This special, simple service of commemoration and lament will be held in the Landmark Auditorium.

*There will not be a service offered on Saturday, April 8, due to the special Easter weekend services.

APRIL 9 @ 9 AM

EASTER FAMILY SERVICE

Rev. Kelly Crocker & Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Ministers

This Easter service for all ages will be full of stories and music. Join us as we celebrate the power of spring to remind us of new life and the wonder of transformation. FUS’s youngest choirs, Cherub Choir & Choristers, will provide the music, along with solo selections from Heather Thorpe, soprano. Join us after this service for our annual Easter Egg Hunt on the playground.

APRIL 9 @ 11 AM

EASTER SERVICE

Rev. Kelly Crocker & Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Ministers

This Easter service will offer a Unitarian Universalist perspective on the most important day in the Christian calendar. Join us as we share beloved music and explore stories of resurrection. A brass quintet made up of musicians from the Madison Symphony Orchestra and other fine players will play music representing the past 500 years. Our guest brass quintet will present a mini-concert before the service. Please join us at 10:50 am.

APRIL 15 & 16 NO “SOMETHING” TOO SMALL

Rev. Monica Kling-Garcia

In today’s world, with so many people in need and rising tensions in our news, there are so many causes that people need to do something about. And yet, it can feel overwhelming—even when we want to do something, how do we know what to do? Together, we will explore how the little things that we do in our lives and in our communities can be a part of a better world. Our Linda Warren will play solo harp selections by Francisque, Bach, Renié, and Hindemith.

Rev. Monica Kling-Garcia (they/them) currently serves as the Lead Staff Chaplain at UnityPoint Health-Meriter Hospital in Madison. As a chaplain, Rev. Monica’s theology is one which emphasizes relationships and storytelling with their patients. When not in the hospital, you can find Rev. Monica enjoying a good movie or video game with their husband Logan and energetic cat Yen.

APRIL 22 & 23 THE ONLY HOME WE HAVE

Rev. Kelly Crocker & Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Ministers

The British, Roman Catholic, ecofeminist liberation theologian Mary C. Grey writes, “Knowing the world is knowing ourselves as nature, as survivors with nature, thinking, feeling, celebrating and suffering together, deeply caught up in the longing for mutual flourishing, especially where this is most threatened.” In this service for the weekend of Earth Day, we will lament, reflect on, and celebrate, what it means to know ourselves as nature – to be bound up, part and parcel, with the sacred world we share. FUS’s Meeting House Chorus will sing.

APRIL 29 & 30

POWER CONCEDES NOTHING WITHOUT A DEMAND

Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Minister

Our tradition as Unitarian Universalists intersects with a long history of agitation for change—both in the United States and points beyond. As we conclude our month-long theme of Resistance, join us for a worship service focused on the spiritual gifts of impatience and recalcitrance, as well as the resources that sustain us in the work of challenging the status quo. Our Children’s Religious Exploration teachers will also be recognized and affirmed at this service. On Saturday, concert pianist Jeff Gibbens returns to FUS to play Mendelssohn and Haydn. On Sunday, the FUS Teen Choir will sing.

COMMUNITY INFORMATION

WHEEL OF LIFE

We send our love to the family of Sparrow Senty as they grieve her passing. Sparrow left this life at age 99 on March 10 and her family is missing her kind and gentle spirit. A memorial gathering will be held in the Landmark Auditorium on April 21 at 5 pm.

“Sparrows, most often fly together in flocks. But, sometimes, one sparrow like me, must fly away from the group. I had to climb the rocks of Steppe Falls, feel the force of the water tumbling over the rocks around my bare feet and find a quiet pool, discover a single fallen feather at the water’s edge. As I picked it up and held it, I knew I could fly on my own.” - Sparrow Senty, October 2014

We would like to welcome all those new members who have joined FUS since January 1, 2023:

Pamela Bitter

Paula Bonner

Christopher Conrad

Ruby Bradt Conrad

Sara Finesilver

Erik Flesch

Sara Lomasz Flesch

Erin Hawes

Dale Johnson

Matt Martin

Natasha Myers

Patrick Myers

Leigh Nida

Guy W. Shilts, Jr.

Donald E. VanScotter II

Welcome one and all! We are so very glad that you are with us!

If you have a life transition you’d like to share with the readers of this newsletter,

CONNECT WITH FUS ONLINE!

Get information about upcoming services and events, see photos and videos, and connect with other FUS folks on our social media platforms!

FUS Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/fusmadison

FUS Community Virtual Gathering Space (FB Group): https://www.facebook.com/groups/fusmadison

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fusmadison/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/FUSmadison

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/fusmadison

Website: https://fusmadison.org/

STAFF LEADERSHIP TEAM

Rev. Kelly J. Crocker, Co-Senior Minister kellyc@fusmadison.org x.112

Rev. Kelly Asprooth-Jackson, Co-Senior Minister kellyaj@fusmadison.org x.113

Monica Nolan, Executive Director monican@fusmadison.org x.115

PROGRAM STAFF

Janet Swanson, Director Membership & Adult Programs janets@fusmadison.org x.124

Leslie Ross, Director Children’s Religious Exploration leslier@fusmadison.org x.119

Kristi Sprague, Social Justice Coordinator kristis@fusmadison.org x.125

Xan Hendrick, Program Assistant alexandrah@fusmadison.org x.116

MUSIC STAFF

Dr. Drew Collins, Music Director drewc@fusmadison.org x.121

Heather Thorpe, Children & Youth Choir Director thorpeh2@gmail.com

Linda Warren, Assistant Music Director linda.warren@tds.net

OPERATIONAL STAFF

Molly Backes, Communications Coordinator mollyb@fusmadison.org x. 117

Cheryll Mellenthin, Project Coordinator cheryllm@fusmadison.org x. 130

Tom Miskelly, Facilities Manager tomm@fusmadison.org x. 120

Dan Carnes, A/V & Event Specialist danc@fusmadison.org

Steven Gregorius, Event Specialist

BOARD OF TRUSTEES

Alyssa Ryanjoy, President

Lorna Aaronson

Annelise Alvin

Jennifer Seeker Conroy (President Elect)

Joy Stieglitz Gottschalk

Emily Cusic Putnam

John McGevna, Secretary

Ann Schaffer

LAY MINISTERS

Our lay ministers provide a confidential, caring presence to congregants undergoing stressful life challenges or joyous occasions. Under the guidance of our called ministers, they promote the spirit of community through direct service in visiting the ill and healing, facilitating support groups, and more.