FUSE27 : Don't Define My Gayness For Me (Girl Cover)

FUSE MY BIG FAT GAY WEDDING NEWTOWN GIRLS HIT YOUR LAPTOP

MADE IN AUSTRALIA FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU MAR / APR 2012

LIFE LOVE 27 24 EQUALITY

Krystle Warren

AN EXTRAORDINARY INSTRUMENT

BUMP & GRIND WITH DJ ISH EASY EATING FOR LIFE

+ MARDI GRAS FAIRDAY PHOTOS GAY SURFERS FOUND ON AUSSIE SHORES

> > > DON’T DEFINE MY GAYNESS FOR ME!

CONTENTS

FUSE MAGAZINE MADE IN AUSTRALIA MAR / APR 2012

LIFE LOVE 27 EQUALITY EDITOR Alexander Thatcher ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Tony Hamlyn

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POLITICAL EDITOR Simon Copland

FUSE FEATURES

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Yasmin Element CREATIVE DIRECTOR Christopher Powell PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Linda Djumlija CONTRIBUTORS Scott Malcolm Rose Pappalardo Stuart Poole Robert Henderson Ginni Hettihewa Hayley MacDonald Colby Kern Morrell Lachlan Keddie Melissa Jien Tai Melisa Paz Trent Locke PHOTOGRAPHERS Michael Andrew Russell Fleming Sharna Turner Helen McCallum

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Hayley MacDonald tracks down Australian ‘gay surfers’ — thought to be only mythical creatures she finds them alive and well. She chats to Thomas Green from GaySurfers.net and former women’s short and long board champion Cori Schumacher.

23 Lachlan Keddie writes about being a young

gay person in 2012 and how teens cope with

rigid definitions.

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Cynthia Nixon recently told The New York Times Magazine ‘...for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.’

Simon Copland give us his views on the ramifications of unthoughtful comments.

FUSE REGULARS

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WWW.FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU 23 All rights reserved. No part of the magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. The appearance, mention or likeness of any person or organisation in editorial or advertising in no way suggests sexual or political orientation. Photographs used to illustrate editorial do not depict the real lives, behaviour or sexuality of the models. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the FUSE publisher, editor or staff. Any health, fitness or dietry advice contained in this magazine is for informational purposes only. Consult your physician and a fitness/health professional before changing your diet, doing any exercise program, or taking any supplements or remedies of any kind. Submissions of text, photographs or any other material will be taken as consent to publish said material.

We talk to the enigmatic and extremely gifted folk jazz-soul singer and songwriter (FUSE cover girl) Krystle Warren about her love for music and coming Australian tour.

FUSE OP.ED

CONTACT FUSE Telephone: 0412 309 992 Email: hello@fusemagazine.com.au Mail: PO Box 3577 Manuka ACT 2603 Published + designed by: Lithium Innovation Pty Ltd www.lithium.net.au ISSN 1836-8387

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Editor’s Rant The Flicks What’s On Round Up : News & Politics Buzz : Entertainment & Gossip Homo Heritage : The Laramie Project Spotlight : DJ ISH and Newtown Girls Style : Safe Fashion Shopping Tips Money Shot : My Big Fat Gay Wedding Out & About : Cube Nightclub Footlights : Men in Pink Tights Wellbeing : Easy Eating Pump : Pectoral Master Class Out & About : Mardi Gras Fairday Ear Candy : Music Reviews & Gossip Top Queer : A Queer Eye on Summernats Stargazer : Your Horoscope FUSE Community Directory Dear Rose 1

EDITOR’S EDITOR’SRANT RANT

❂ THIS IS IT! With the Mayan Calendar apparently ending on December 21 this year, some believe that this will be our last year on Earth as we know it. Many may think of doom and gloom but I’m actually all very excited — aliens, god, mass enlightenment, giant meteor, maybe nothing at all… it’s like a super lotto draw with an unknown prize: (a) you may not “win” anything; and (b) if you do, you just don’t know what your going to get!

Alexander Thatcher Editor

So it’s going to be important to make the most of this year — even if nothing happens.

The funny thing is: that’s how we should always be living. Armageddon or not, every day could be our last. I know I personally forget that all the time, so this is really more a reminder for me than you. Don’t waste a second.

So I hope that reading FUSE this year is well worth some of your valuable time. We have some really great new writers that have joined the FUSE team. We’ve got a new style and grooming whiz, Colby Kern Morrell. If you’re into fashion, interior design or grooming you’ll love his column. Colby’s trying to change the world one soy latté at a time! p18.

Ginni Hettihewa joins us from JOY 94.9 FM, where she’s the producer and presenter of Her Society — your one stop radio show for girls who love girls. She’s going to keep you all up-to-date with what’s happening in the world of girlie entertainment and news. This issue Ginni interviewed our cover girl, lesbian singer Krystle Warren, who is currently touring Australia p10. She also chatted to DJ ISH; plus the women from the new webseries Newtown Girls — which by all accounts is going to be a smash hit p17.

Tony Hamlyn Entertainment Editor

We also welcome a new feature writer, Hayley MacDonald. This issue Hayley writes about the world of gay surfing and talks to the guys and girls from GaySurfers.net.

And we’d like to introduce Lachlan Keddie our new youth writer, Melissa Jien Tai who will endeavor to keep you healthy this year, and Melisa Paz who will be doing our Horoscopes — check them out on p45.

FUSE just gets stronger and stronger and we hope that as we enter our fourth year we have something for everyone, no matter how you identify or who you love.

LIFE. LOVE. EQUALITY. Oh and don’t forget to join us on the FUSE website fusemagazine.com.au where you’ll find heaps of extra goodies. The latest news from Australia and around the world, what’s on, features, views, lots of candy and of course the FUSE message board.

Simon Copland Political Editor

Enjoy, Alex Helen McCallum To Alex, Christopher, Yas and the whole team at FUSE. Great magazine! Looking forward to your next edition of all things gay.

February 12 Sunday at 11:30am Aaron Dwyer Thanks so much for a great magazine. I really enjoyed the Rural Gay Lovin’ article in FUSE26 by Robert. Keep up the good work guys.

February 07 Tuesday at 8:05pm

Yasmin Element Associate Editor

Christopher Powell Creative Director

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MOVIES EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE OPENS 23 FEBRUARY Based on the acclaimed novel of the same name, “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” tells the story of one young boy’s journey from heartbreaking loss to the healing power of self-discovery, set against the backdrop of the tragic events of September 11. Eleven-year-old Oskar Schell is an exceptional child: amateur inventor, Francophile, pacifist. And after finding a mysterious key that belonged to his father, who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11, he embarks on an exceptional journey — an urgent, secret search through the five boroughs of New York. As Oskar roams the city, he encounters a motley assortment of humanity, who are all survivors in their own ways. Ultimately, Oskar’s journey ends where it began, but with the solace of that most human experience: love.

WEEKEND : OPENS 1 MARCH Winner of Audience Awards at both SXSW and Outfest 2011 and the opening night selection of Brooklyn’s acclaimed BAMcinemafest, WEEKEND is a startlingly authentic love story, featuring the talents of two incredible new actors and the unique work of a fresh new voice in filmmaking, Andrew Haigh. After meeting one lonely Friday night at a bar, Russell (Tom Cullen) and Glen (Chris New) find themselves caught up in a lost weekend full of sex, drugs and intimate conversation.

Although they have conflicting ideas of what it is they want from life and certainly how to get it, they form a startling emotional connection that will resonate throughout their lives. afterelton.com “Weekend” is a gay relationship drama worth waiting for.... simply great dramatic writing.”

THE FLICKS PROJECT X : OPENS 1 MARCH A group of buds set out to throw the most epic 17th birthday party ever. The high school party, shot from the perspective of the digital cameras that the kids have with them, gets completely out of control.

✔

THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL OPENS 22 MARCH The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel tells the story of a group of misfit British pensioners who are enticed to retire to a fabulous hotel in Jaipur, India, where they are promised to live a life of luxury for a bargain price. Upon their arrival, they are dismayed to find that restoration of the once elegant Marigold Hotel has stalled.

There is water…sometimes. And electricity…sometimes. The hotel’s eager manager, a young Indian entrepreneur, is quick to tell them that his ambitious renovation is going to turn the place around. Surprisingly, the retirees find themselves settling into this strange new world and creating bonds with each other. What their new life lacks in luxury they come to find is plentiful in adventure, stunning beauty, peace and love.

FREE MOVIE TICKETS FUSE has double passes to give away to Dendy Cinemas.

Email us and tell us what you think of FUSE, comment on an article or sign up to the FUSE website and you could win these great Dendy movie tickets • email: hello@fusemagazine.com.au • www.fusemagazine.com.au FREE MOVIE PASSES KINDLY SUPPLIED BY DENDY CINEMAS CANBERRA LEVEL 2, NORTH QUARTER CANBERRA CENTRE, BUNDA STREET, CANBERRA CITY 261-263 KING STREET, NEWTOWN • SHOP 9, 2 EAST CIRCULAR QUAY, SYDNEY PORTSIDE WHARF, REMORA ROAD, HAMILTON • 108 JONSON STREET, BYRON BAY WWW.DENDY.COM.AU

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Always worth getting a second opinion.

Or nine.

Hangouts on Google+ let you talk face-to-face with nine of your closest friends.

No doubt they’ll tell you whether that outfit’s hot. (Or not.)

Follow us at mardigras.org.au/+

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WHAT’S ON

NAKED BOYS SINGING

ENLIGHTEN:

SEE CANBERRA IN A WHOLE NEW LIGHT 2–3 & 9–10 MARCH : VARIOUS VENUES FREE AND TICKETED EVENTS Over four magical autumn nights see Canberra in a whole new light. Be entertained with late night openings at eleven attractions plus spectacular architectural projections and buzzing entertainment precincts. Held over the first two weekends in March (2, 3 and 9, 10), Enlighten features 35 free and ticketed events, from exclusive blockbuster exhibitions to live performance, tours, talks and unique dining experiences.

SE MO E

O RE INSIDN THE E COVEBACK R

13 – 14 APRIL : CANBERRA THEATRE CENTRE Naked Boys Singing has played Off Broadway for almost thirteen years and for the first time in a decade it’s opening downunder. The aussie version of the show is what everyone has been hanging out for — sexier, classier and funnier! Imagine eight hot naked guys on stage singing songs about being naked and packing in the audiences with numbers like, ‘Gratuitous Nudity’, ‘Nothin’ But the Radio On’ and ’I Beat My Meat’. And while you might think Aunty Mavis is probably not the best companion to bring along, the glowing reviews from girls, women, gays, straights and everyone in between say otherwise.

Check out the trailer at nakedboyssinging.com.au if you need any more convincing!

MEN IN TIGHTS

THESEE RE FUSE ON PVIEW A GE 2

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The new look Enlighten, part of the Canberra Festival, provides a spectacular new perspective on some of Australia’s most famous attractions, linking them through a memorable array of fun and surprising experiences for visitors.

Step out into the balmy autumn night and roam the Parliamentary Triangle where you’ll find the Enlighten Entertainment Precinct abuzz with activity.

Bordered by the five buildings lit with stunning architectural projections, the Entertainment Precinct will come alive each night with free entertainment between 6.30pm and 11.30pm.

In the West Zone, between the National Library of Australia and Questacon—The National Science and Technology Centre, choose from a delicious selection of food and beverages while soaking up hip tunes by live music acts. Across the lawns in the East Zone, beside the National Portrait Gallery, you’ll find an intriguing array of performances and quirky activities to keep you entertained throughout the night.

Go to www.canberrafestival.com.au for the full program or phone 13 22 81 for more information.

For more info check out canberrafestival.com.au

4 – 5 MAY 2012 : CANBERRA THEATRE CENTRE Making their World premiere season in Australia, Les Ballets Eloelle are bringing their new production Men in Pink Tights — the most spectacular, talented and hilarious all-male comedy ballet ever!

See our interview with Artistic Director, Victor Trevino on page 29.

WHAT’S ON! WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING, CHECK OUT OUR ‘WHAT’S ON’ SECTION AT WWW.FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

Q RADIO 8.30PM – 11PM THURSDAYS ON 98.3FM For over 30 years Q radio has been the voice of the LGBTI community in Canberra. Don’t miss the show on 2XX 98.3FM, 8.30pm – 11pm on Thursdays or online at 2xxfm.org.au.

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NEWS & POLITICS

By Simon Copland

ROUND UP) ANOTHER STATE: ANOTHER SAME SEX MARRIAGE LAW IT’S GOING TO A BIG 2012 With the London 2012 Olympics, the ACT Election and a leap year, 2012 is set to be huge. But, let’s hope we make it through to 2013. On December 21 this year the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar (pictured above), used by the Mayan Civilisation completes its cycle. This is an event that Mayans predicted would result in the end of the earth — or the end of civilisation as we know it today. There are hundreds of theories of what may happen at the end of the year and very soon we’ll know if it’s God, aliens, zombies, natural disasters, world enlightenment, a whopping big meteor, or well... nothing at all.

SUMMER OF SPORTS Another summer, more great sport! The season started with the cricket, where Australia tied with New Zealand in a two-match test series and then demolished India in a four-test series. The Australian Open came again in January, with world number one Novak Djokovic taking out the men’s title and world number three (and now number one), Victoria Azarenka from Belarus taking out the women’s title.

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HEALTHY GAY HOUSEHOLDS A new study in the US called the National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study reported that not one of the 78 adolescents in the study who had lesbian parents reported being sexually or physically abused by their parents. These numbers compare to 26 per cent of American adolescents who report physical abuse and 8.3 per cent who report sexual abuse.

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It seems like every month now there is another story of new same-sex marriage legislation. This time, the state of Washington in the United States has taken the step with the passage of equal marriage. This will make Washington the 7th state in the US to implement same-sex marriage.

There were also changes in California with the San Francisco appeals ruling that Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriages in the state, was unconstitutional. There is potential that the case could go all the way to the Supreme Court, having impact on same-sex marriage laws around the country.

LIBRA CAMPAIGN RIDICULES TRANS* PEOPLE The tampon company Libra has come under fire after it released an ad showing two women, one a drag queen and the other a biological female, in a bathroom competing over their femininity. The biological female wins the contest after she takes out her Libra tampon and walks into the bathroom stall. Many have complained about the ad, saying that it sends a message that if you don’t menstruate you’re not really a woman.

The Advertising Standards Bureau rejected the complaints about the ad, saying that it did not demean women who “do not menstruate”, nor did it demean or vilify transgender people.

The Board however did admit that there was “no way of determining” whether the drag queen character was “representative of drag queens or transgender women.”

Warren Talbot, a LGBTI Health Alliance executive said “Trans* people deserve our compassion and support, not the kind of ridicule this ad portrays.”

Image: The Libra tampon ad which depicts two women competitively adjusting themselves in the bathroom takes great strain to make sure that viewers understand who the real woman is — that is, she’s the one who menstruates thank you very much, and whom their product is ‘naturally’ intended for.

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ROUND UP)

ADD IT UP 26

Calories lost by kissing for one minute — kiss for ten and you’ll loose 260 calories.

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Years since the establishment of the Aboriginal Tent Embassy.

Established in 1972 It has been demolished multiple times and rebuilt over the years.

GAY PANIC DEFENCE The Queensland Government has abolished the so called ‘gay panic defence’, and there is a new push to abolish similar legislation in New South Wales. In many forms of legislation people who claim that they were provoked so that they lost self-control can be found guilty of manslaughter instead of murder, therefore reducing their punishment. Up until recently (and still in NSW) people had the ability to use this defence after they have killed gay men, alleging that their victims made threatening sexual advances towards them. The change in legislation will now remove that defence and in NSW a campaign from the Beat Project is looking to get rid of similar laws.

Cynthia Nixon and her partner Christine Marinoni

‘‘

I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out.

I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.

Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon

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Years since Queen Elizabeth took the English throne, marking this her Diamond Jubilee.

130

The average number of friends facebook users have. More than 150 million people engage with Facebook every month.

THIS MONTH’S IDIOCY

Tony Abbott leader of the Australian Liberal party.

As the Republican fight for the US Presidential nomination was heating up earlier this year, attention turned again to anti-gay former Senator Rick Santorum.

Santorum won the first caucus in Iowa and then followed up his victory in February with wins in Colorado, Missouri and Minnesota. These wins have allowed Santorum to claim the mantle of the conservative alternative to Mitt Romney.

With more attention, once again Santorum’s anti-queer views have come into force. This time, whilst campaigning in New Hampshire, Santorum stated that:

‘A MAN IN JAIL WOULD BE A BETTER PARENT THAN SOMEONE IN A SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIP.’ Good one Rick.

‘‘

I think a lot has changed for the better since then (when the embassy was set up). I think the indigenous people of Australia can be very proud of the respect in which they are held by every Australian.

I think a lot has changed since then, and I think it probably is time to move on from that.

Tony Abbott talking about the Aboriginal Tent Embassy on Australia Day

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FOOTLIGHTS

By Ginni Hettihewa

THE EXTRAORDINARY

KRYSTLE WARREN

LEGENDARY SINGERS LIKE KD LANG HAVE RAVED ABOUT HER. AFTER HEARING HER PERFORM, BBC’S COLIN IRWIN KNEW HE WAS ‘IN THE PRESENCE OF A MIGHTY TALENT’. SHE HAS BEEN COMPARED TO NINA SIMONE, NORAH JONES AND JEFF BUCKLEY AND HER VOICE HAS BEEN CALLED “AN EXTRAORDINARY INSTRUMENT.” However, when you ask her to self evaluate, she’ll say, ‘My music sounds like Krystle Warren’; and rightfully so. Her style is distinctly and uniquely her own and no matter how much we feel Tracy Chapman, Joan Armatrading or Erykah Badu being channelled, the sound is all Krystal clear.

She returns to Australian shores, to our cities across the eastern seaboard and Canberra this March and we’re thrilled to have her back. As a fan of our country, when asked what her favourite part of Australia was, she said she was looking forward to coming back to have the chance to explore it more to be able to answer the question.

And now looking back at her progress to success, she still remains humble. In 2009, Warren played to English audiences with a performance that could only be described as “show stealing”. It was these performances that Rufus Wainwright and KD Lang discovered her and thus gave her great acclaim. ‘[When KD Lang gave me those compliments], I was like, the spelling is me, but it’s not me.’

Her current album, Love Songs; A Time You May Embrace, is in fact true to its title.

“KRYSTLE WARREN… YOU SHOULD REALLY GIVE HER A LISTEN. YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU’RE HEARING – SHE’S AMAZING.” K.D. LANG

The Kansas City born and raised openly out songstress was introduced to music at an early age through the encouragement of her family. She was raised by her mother, older sister and many, many aunts, including Aunt Mamine, who held a collection of Motwon favourites in her basement such as Marvin Gaye, The Tempations and Johhny Mathis. During family holidays, Warren would disappear there after a meal and her musical talent began to be nurtured. Aretha Franklin’s ‘Ain’t No Way’ was the first piece of music to move Warren. These influences lead Krystle and her band, The Faculty, to the development of the album, Circles – aptly named to depict an ‘end of a circle, a closing of a chapter and an opening of doors for a hopeful beginning’.

KRYSTLE’S FIRST EVER JOB WAS AT BURGER KING. SHE STARTED HER MUSIC CAREER BUSKING IN THE STREETS OF NEW YORK AND PARIS. THE ORIGINALITY AND SOULFUL SOUNDS OF THOSE FIRST SONGS RESULTED IN THE RELEASE OF HER DEBUT ALBUM ‘CIRCLES’ IN 2009.

Wednesday March 28 : The Street Theatre Canberra Check out other Australian venues at fusemagazine.com.au 10

‘It’s all about love songs, the journey of a relationship. The way the album starts, you’re thrown directly into their home life and you go here and there, through the arguments and everything a couple goes through.’

She teams up with her band, The Faculty yet again and wanted the album to be something you could listen to all year around.

Given Warren’s climb to success, it was intriguing to know where she would see herself in the next ten years.

‘Ten years… so I’d be 41; I’d see myself in a place in the country, away from the city, still happily coupled, a couple of kids.’

Warren kicks off her Australian tour in Sydney and will be in Canberra on 28 March.

Be sure to see for yourself why everyone else has had their hearts and minds captured by this beautiful songstress.

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ENTERTAINMENT

By Tony Hamlyn

BUZZ !

HUGH IS HOUDINI Hugh Jackman loves a good musical.

He has hosted the Tony Awards no less than three times, and even won the award himself for his role as Peter Allen in the New York production of The Boy from Oz. He only recently finished the Broadway run of his self-titled one-man show, which featured a string of champagne musical moments, and just when you think he’d had enough of musical theatre he’s announced that he will star as illusionist Harry Houdini in an upcoming project slated for early 2013. Rather than a straight bio, the story will instead be set during the 1920s and focus mainly on Houdini’s infamous attempts to discredit the group of psychics who called themselves The Spiritualists.

Interestingly the show’s book will be written by Aaron Sorkin, renowned creator of TV’s The West Wing, and writer of the films As Good As It Gets, Charlie Wilson’s War, and of course the much-lauded The Social Network. It was originally reported that Danny Elfman, responsible for the music in almost all the Tim Burton films, was writing the music, but that appears to have changed and Broadway legend Stephen Schwartz seems to have taken over that task now.

Schwartz is of course famous for writing the amazing score for Wicked, as well as a number of huge successes over the years, so chances are this Houdini gig is going to be the next big Broadway thing. And so it would seem our Hugh can’t keep away from song and dance. Which, along with his torso, is surely part of why we love him so much.

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REJOICE THE SECOND COMING! It’s been almost twenty years since Madge brought one of her spectacular tours to our fair shores.

1993’s Girlie Show was a feat of sheer live genius, introducing us to staging like never before. It gave us revolving hydraulics, it brought burlesque well and truly back to the modern lexicon, and it gave us a performance of ‘Justify My Love’ that rendered yours truly speechless for about twelve minutes straight. So excitable were we all over the possibility of finally seeing THE Madonna that the powers that be decided to film one of the Sydney concerts and make it the official video release of the entire tour. Thus some of your friends are no doubt documented screaming uncontrollably, clapping so hard they actually ended up with stigmata (true story). But alas the first lady of pop has never since returned. Was it something we said? Were we that bad an audience? Well today is a day of celebration, as an official press release from Madonna’s website announces Australia will in fact be included in the upcoming world tour. The tour, which as yet doesn’t seem to have a catchy title, starts on May 29 in Tel Aviv (a Kabbalah tie-in no doubt) threading it’s way through Europe before hitting North American at the end of August. It works its way through the US until mid-November, and whilst there are no Aussie dates set in stone there is a caveat in the press release that states ‘The tour will also visit South American and Australia.’ Hallelujah! Tickets back in 1993 ranged from $80 to $200 so start saving now.

VALE WHITNEY

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How tragic it was to hear of Whitney Houston’s death.

Tragic, but not very surprising. Because of her crazy antics, her lazy live performances and the horrendous paparazzi photos that kept popping up in all the tabloids Whitney had become a constant source of derision and media ridicule in recent years. It was funny to watch such a dramatic fall from grace, until of course the announcement that her body had been found submerged in the bathtub of her suite at the Beverly Hilton, the alleged result of mixing Xanax and alcohol. Then it wasn’t so funny any more. Whitney Houston sold over 170 million records in a career that spanned more than 25 years. Her most famous of torch songs, I Will Always Love You, was at its time of release the biggest selling single in US history moving more than 4.5 million copies and winning the 1993 Grammy for Record Of The Year.

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BUZZ !

GET INTO OUTLAND

SH#T EVERYONE SAYS

If you’re not hip yet to the gay comedy gold currently running on the ABC then where have you been and what have you been doing?

Are you tired already of the “Sh#t *insert group here* Say” phenomenon?

Aunty has been slowly carving out a nice little niche for herself on Wednesday nights, delivering comedy cult classics over the years like The Librarians, Summer Heights High, Kath & Kim, and The Chaser, to name just a few.

Add to this list the fabulous Outland, a new six part series created by Melbourne comic writers Adam Richard and John Richards about a group of five gay and lesbian sci-fi fans gathering at each other’s house to celebrate their geeky obsession. Tackling the varying subcultures within the gay lifestyle canon, this show is a remarkably funny look at what draws us together and what makes us different.

Dramas ensue with entertaining regularity, and Outland ends up a sort of Will & Grace meets Galaxy Quest. The first few episodes have been great, filled with quick paced oneliners and fantastic characters, with co-writer Adam Richard regularly stealing the show. At last the rest of the world is learning what we’ve known all along: There is nothing as hilarious as gays with an unhealthy obsession. If you’ve missed any Outland episodes go and catch them on ABC’s iView. The remainder of the series can be seen Wednesday nights at 9:30pm on ABC1.

There’s now everything from Sh#t Girls Say, to Sh#t Black Girls Say, to Sh#t Drag Queens Say, to Sh#t Girls Say About Sh#t Girls Say. Well before you turn off to the craze altogether, two genuinely hilarious takes on this seemingly unstoppable trend have been unearthed and we’re here to tell you this is the last word on this particular genre. Firstly check out Jeffery Self’s YouTube video entitled ‘Sh#t Gay Guys Say’. Jeffery was one part of the brilliant VGL Boys who posted some of the funniest home-produced gay content the internet has ever seen. He’s more recently ventured out on his own and his almost immediate response to the Sh#t Girls Say video is an instant classic. The Hamburger Mary’s line kills us every time! Another clever version is the ‘Sh#t Circuit Queens Say’ Facebook group. Featuring all of those remarkably telling and recongnisable statements that party homos have uttered over time, never has something been so funny cos it’s true.

We know, we know, the joke is getting old. But these two examples prove that the premise can still be very, very funny.

Check out fusemagazine.com.au to see a video of w Jeffery Self in full swing. Circuit Queens: Search ‘Shit Circuit Queens Say’ on Facebook and Twitter.

She remains the only artist in history to have seven consecutive US number one singles, and 1987’s Whitney album was the first time ever a female artist entered the US charts at number 1. Her movie debut, The Bodyguard, made over $400 million dollars worldwide, and when she agreed to make the movie The Preacher’s Wife in 1996, starring alongside Denzel Washington, she did so at a price of $10 million dollars making her the highest paid African-American actress in the world. She made seven truly fantastic urban-pop albums, worked with the who’s-who of the music industry, and produced a list of hit singles as long as your arm. Her brilliant Greatest Hits album is a true testament to her stellar career, and the cover shot of her dressed head to toe in Dolce & Gabbana drilling a seemingly endless collection her own platinum records into the wall is quite possibly the campest Greatest Hits album artwork ever produced. The live performances that did the online rounds on that Sunday morning (Australian time) she died are astounding, all of them bringing back memories of how truly inspiring that voice was, and reminding us all that when she was great, Whitney Houston was one of the greatest.

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BUZZ

ENTERTAINMENT

We look back at a significant cultural phenomenon from our big gay past.

HOMO HERITAGE

The Laramie Project It’s been ten years since the the film adaptation of The Laramie Project.

You may remember the tragic story of Matthew Shepard’s death: In 1998 the body of the 21-yearold gay college student was found tied to a fence on the outskirts of Laramie, Wyoming. He had been tortured and beaten to death by two locals, Matthew Shepard. then left comatose for almost two days before a passing cyclist found him, mistaking the still, bound figure for a scarecrow. It was denounced as one of the most heinous gay hate crimes on record, and the two young men responsible for his murder were convicted (currently both serving double life sentences) amidst crazy worldwide media attention.

There have been a number of cultural references to Matthew Sheperd’s killing, in film, song, theatre, book, but few perhaps as standout as the TV movie The Laramie Project, which first aired on HBO in March 2002. The film’s premise is that of the real-life Tetronic Theatre Group, whose members go to Laramie directly after the murder in an effort to interview the townsfolk and learn more about how something of this nature would affect each of them personally. The story is essentially made up of dramatised snippets of these conversations, as well as observations and experiences of the interviewers themselves, as they go about creating a new play based around what they discover.

The majority of people who would usually see this film are those already sold on the issue, but whilst it might preach to the converted still the significance of what unfolds is unforgettable. The stories and perspectives are straightforward, mostly told in an interview format, and they reveal not only the louder, more obvious side of homophobia from religious groups and the like, but also the subtle ignorance that everyday townsfolk carry quietly within them without even recognising it.

Laura Linney’s one and only monologue is the most effective of these, playing a seemingly welcoming local housewife whose words of hate tumble out of her all the while trying hopelessly to justify them to herself.

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From the movie The Laramie Project. The true story of an American town in the wake of the murder of Matthew Shepard.

It would have been an awesome task to try and create a piece like this and give it the gravitas it deserves, but the end result – a credit to its writers – seems incredibly simple and succinct in its telling. Arguably the most important gay piece of theatre, and subsequent gay film, of this millennium so far The Laramie Project manages to illustrate both the senselessness of homophobic violence in the US and around the world, as well as the generosity of spirit found sometimes within unlikely parts of the Laramie community. It’s a heavy and confrontational watch but surprisingly not without its uplifting moments. In particular, the Angel Action sequence is sure to take your breath away.

There are no real stars, as the characters come and go intermittently throughout the film, but the cast is a remarkable who’s-who of film and TV: As well as Linney there is Peter Fonda, Camryn Manheim, Michael Emerson, Steve Buscemi, Janeane Garofalo, Joshua Jackson, Amy Madigan, Nestor Carbonell, and Christina Ricci; each of them giving small but stirring portrayals of a society trying to negotiate such a monstrous act of violence.

It’s hard to sell a film like The Laramie Project; it’s hardly a feel good rom-com. But it is a fascinating, thoughtful film that stands out because of its choice to focus not merely on a young man whose life is sadly and brutally taken from him, but also on those normally unseen faces who then live through the consequences of it all. Ten years on this film doesn’t lose any of its importance.

In fact, amidst a landscape of Lady Gaga and It Gets Better videos, it seems just as relevant and remains essential viewing for all.

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IN THE MOOD!

THE START OF ANOTHER FANTASTIC SELLOUT YEAR AT THE QUEANBEYAN PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE K CHEC FULL R U OUT O EASON AT S 2 201 Q.NET.AU THE

SYNCOPATION

27 MARCH – 5 APRIL Set in New York in 1912, Allan Knee’s Syncopation is a hybrid of two art forms — the well-made play and ballroom dancing — honed into an unlikely historical romance. If you love ballroom dancing, don’t miss the delights of Synocopation.

‘A compelling story that promenades, foxtrots and tangos to life.’

The Age

THE MOUSETRAP 7 – 24 MARCH

Opening in the West End of London in 1952, The Mousetrap is the longest running play with more than 24,450 performances under its belt. The show has now become one of the essential things to do on many a tourist’s schedule — go to Buckingham Palace, visit the Tower of London and see The Mousetrap. Now you don’t have to go to the West End to see it, because it’s right here in Queanbeyan, don’t miss this fantastic showing at The Q. ‘A truly entertaining classic thriller’ The Sunday Times ‘The Mousetrap is written so well that even if you have seen it before and remember how it ends, you will take pleasure in watching the way in which Christie develops the real and false clues.’ The New York Times

LET THE SUNSHINE 26 – 29 APRIL

253 CRAWFORD STREET QUEANBEYAN

TICKET BOOKINGS 6285 6290 WWW.THEQ.NET.AU

This very popular play is a social satire about sea-changers.

Award winning Australian playwright David Williamson’s play has been described as part Romeo and Juliet, part Meet the Parents. ‘...Let the Sunshine notches up its first chuckle in less than 30 seconds without a word being spoken. This play’s scale, its themes and its humour are a perfect fit... a much-anticipated return to the stage.’ Jason Blake, Sydney Morning Herald 15

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SPOTLIGHT

DJ ISH SHE’S BEEN GRACING OUR DANCE FLOORS FOR OVER A DECADE AND THE LAST SIX MONTHS HAS SEEN HER INVOLVED WITH EVERY MAJOR GAY AND LESBIAN FESTIVAL OUR COUNTRY HOLDS. Known for her inimitable style and eclecticism of vocal house, bump and grind electro and dirty rocking beats lands Brisbane’s own sexy diva DJ, ISH as one of Australia’s most in demand DJs. After being diagnosed with cancer in 2000, ISH reflected and re evaluated her life which sparked her to give in her day job and start DJing.

NEWTOWN GIRLS HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU WATCHED THE FULL SIX SERIES OF THE L WORD ?

Are you up to your high teens by now? Well there’s another series that’s on its way. Enter our home grown alternative series, The Newtown Girls.

The ten-part series kicks off on the world wide web on Tuesday, March 13 with a storyline that follows the lead character Scarlet, starting her life over from a relationship break up and her comedic attempts to find her soul mate. Set in the quirky, alternative Sydney suburb of Newtown, unlike most gay television storylines, The Newtown Girls steer away from any political themes.

Director Emma Keltie felt it was important to stay true to the genre of the romantic comedy.

‘I think the fact that the story is existing and out there, I think that’s the political statement in itself.

We deliberately avoided doing a coming out story or doing a story about someone who was depressed.

We just tried to tell a story that everyone can relate to that is positive.’

With shows like Lip Service and The L Word being made in the UK and US, Australia is a little behind on the eight ball when it comes to producing our own queer content.

The Newtown Girls writers have been actively trying to ensure that this series will assist the change.

Look out ladies — this is one sexy cast starring Debra Ades, Renne Lim, Kylie Watson and Kate Austin.

The Newtown Girls webseries launches on Tuesday, 13 March @ thenewtowngirls.com

By Ginni Hettihewa

‘There’s always that life expectancy and lack of time to live when you’re diagnosed. So I thought, if I’m only going to have five years on this Earth, I’m going to go out doing what I really love in life and that was DJing.’

And thus she has adopted a live for the moment attitude with each set she plays.

‘No matter which city or country I’m in, I always consider myself so lucky to be indulging in what I love most.’

With her fan base continuously growing with each gig, ISH remains humbled by the reactions she receives from her fans.

‘Just recently I received a touching message saying it was a DJ set I played one night that this person realised he was gay and happy with who he was and he came out that same night, it’s stories like these that makes my job so rewarding.’”

With the part that “divine intervention” played in her life, it has opened up many avenues for her outside the Australian club circuit. ISH is now the Music Director for Australia’s number one radio show for girls who love girls, Her Society, and has recently been named the guest DJ at Henrietta Hudson, the leading lesbian venue in New York City on April 5.

‘When my parents migrated from Italy, it was a choice to move between New York and Australia. So when I visit, I think I’ll have a Sliding Doors moment or two!’

Now, ten years after being diagnosed, ISH is well into remission and is fighting fit, which is great news for us party animals — we can experience and be aurally astounded on her dance floor.

w Check her out online at: djish.com.au

Ginni is the Content Director, Producer and Presenter of Her Society — a one stop radio show for girls who love girls — on JOY 94.9 FM — hersocietyonline.com.au Newtown Girls photo by Sharna Turner. • DJ ISH photo by Russell Fleming.

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STYLE IF YOU ARE LIKE ME, SHOPPING IS THE ULTIMATE HIGH.

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A

SAFE SHOPPING MESSAGE

There is something so magical about the way a store makes you feel; the look, the smell, the sales… They make your eyes starry and your heart skip. A store can have the same effect as a beautiful boy; you might be convinced to make regrettable decisions.

But don’t be weary; there is still hope for you.

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I am talking about ways to avoid buying things you really do not need and how to be sure they are things you can’t live without. Here are a few tips I’ve picked up on my ventures:

EXPLORE YOUR OPTIONS. Most of my wardrobe shopping is done in a mall. Very rarely do I buy something in a store without checking others first. I make mental notes of things that interest me, and return to those stores later. Trust me, it’s worth your time to explore each store. Nothing is worse than spending all of your cash in one place, and finding the exact same thing elsewhere at a cheaper price.

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SET A BUDGET. This is the most redundant piece of advice, but also the most helpful.

It can be very dangerous to walk into a store carrying all your money. I typically leave my credit cards at home if I’m going shopping for clothes, that way there is no temptation to use them.

TRY THINGS ON. I am shocked by how many people do not try on clothes before buying! Ok, so it is on sale and in your size… that doesn’t mean it will look good on you. If you try something on, evaluate how it flatters your body. Then ask yourself, ‘Am I actually going to wear this?’

Something may look good on a hanger, but not on your body.

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BRING A FRIEND. Shopping with a friend is a great way to get an immediate second opinion. They will be able to notice things about items that you overlooked. They also have the benefit of being able to see all angles of your body. They are far more reliable than a mirror.

Plus, it is fun to try on clothes and model them — a friend makes the perfect audience.

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LEARN TO SAY NO. I sometimes find myself contemplating over buying an item for hours (this is especially true with shoes). Honestly, if buying an article of clothing requires that much thought, you don’t need it. Saying no and walking away will save you the time and mental anguish. Go home and sleep on it. You will find that it won’t seem at all as vital to your life as you thought the day before. You will survive.

KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE. You would be surprised by some of the long lost clothes hiding in your closet. Or you may be shocked by how much of a particular item you are hoarding. I’m a recent survivor of a cardigan addiction. Anytime I saw one in a store, I bought it. Now I have a surplus of cardigans that I don’t even wear. Evaluate what your wardrobe has plenty of and what it’s lacking.

Shop accordingly.

Keep these tips in mind the next time you plan a shopping escapade. You will find yourself with a lot less clutter and fuller pockets. Don’t get mesmerized by the spell of a store full of perfectly displayed clothes, and save those starry eyes for the hot guy down the street.

You can do it, I have faith in you.

By Colby Kern Morrell

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For more fashion advice visit Colby: Online: colbykern.com Twitter: @HeyColbyKern Instagram: @heycolbykern

WWW.FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

What someone with HIV looks like

You can’t tell by looking – men of all types get HIV and most remain very healthy.

Don’t worry, lots of positive and negative men have great sex together without passing on any viruses – they simply use condoms or act safely.

www.

FearLessLiveMore.org.au

Produced by the Australian Federation of AIDS Organisations and the National Association of People Living with HIV/AIDS Printed 2011

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FEATURE AUSTRALIA AS A NATION STANDS PROUD BEHIND ITS SURFER REPUTATION OF THE SUN BRONZED, MUSCLE TONED, SEXY SURFER GUY AND GIRL. We see pictures of board-short clad, six-pack carved bodies carrying their surfboard down the beach underneath their broad sculptured shoulders and bikini clad tanned women flaunting their ‘assets’ on billboards around the country, pushing the stereotypical Aussie label. Sports entertainment company, Sweeney Research’ produce ‘The Sweeney Report’ which indicates that roughly two and a half million people surf in Australia alone. With such high numbers, certainly there is a spot for those who identify under the GLBTI banner, yet when it came to the search, only a mere few were discovered amidst the millions holding the rainbow banner high.

Surfers as a whole all share a passion for the ocean. They are a community within themselves and it seems only those who ride the waves understand the freedom that is found when giving themselves over to the sea. Those who love to surf generally, are known to be searchers and travellers, forever wandering with an open mind in hope of finding the perfect wave, regardless of which continent they end up. With their willingness to open themselves up to new cultures and ideals, they seem to have somehow found difficulty in allowing the gay surfer to be as free as what their surfer ideals perceive them to be. Perhaps the sport has somehow managed to gain an abnormally high percentage of heterosexual participators or maybe, it’s more closed-minded than they make it out to be.

Gay Surfers

By Hayley MacDonald

In February 2010, French born Australian, Thomas Green, created a site called ‘GaySurfers.net’ in hope of finding others who enjoy dancing within the waves.

Although Thomas believes, ‘labels often overtake individuality,’ when discussing the GLBTQI community, he also understands that, ‘there is a need for people to identify with others who are like-minded or have a shared experience’. The site allows surfers to be open about their lifestyle choices and share their love of surfing. It is an online environment that hosts over 3840 members from over 80 countries, who utilise the site to meet others, share ‘big wave’ stories and discuss general events. It’s not strictly for ‘gay surfers’, but is an open community for all those who share a passion for varied water sports.

As Thomas notes, ‘The same way it is open to gay, bi, trans and gay friendly, the site is also open to other sports. The word surfing also includes body-boarding, bodysurfing, wind surfing, surf kayaking, kite surfing and many more activities that involve being in the ocean and enjoying the waves, winds or whatever’.

Thomas’ sexuality and his desire to take to the surf were both gradual occurrences in his life. He started out as a body boarder in his youth in France, and moved onto surfing from there. His relationships followed a similar path, where in his teens he made the move to Australia and dated women until he began to realise like many others, that his sexuality varied from the norm.

‘At the moment, I am living with another man, so I guess I am falling under the gay category, Thomas states, even though he doesn’t agree whole heartedly with the stigma of labels, ‘I don’t like them because they often overtake individuality’.

Yet the move to begin the ‘Gay Surfers’ group has proved to be a success by bringing out into the world those who were hidden in the whitewash of close minded stereotypes that surfing is in fact a sport for everyone!

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‘I THOUGHT GAY MALE SURFERS WERE MUCH LIKE UNICORNS: MYTHICAL CREATURES’ Cori Schumacher

‘Just look at surfers in the line-up, we now have all races, cultures and genders represented in the surf. In Sydney particularly, where I live, we see tradies, business men, black surfers, white surfers, women and kids and everyone inbetween surfing together. It is also the city of the Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras. It’s not a big issue.’

Thomas discusses his surprise when he met former top-ten ASP pro-surfer, Robbie Page, who questioned him about being the President of the Gay Boardriders club to which Thomas accepted his presidential status with an uneasy “yes.” Page surprisingly then congratulated him and the other members as he felt Australia has a huge problem with discrimination.

Support from such a respected surfer was much appreciated by the group. Green pushes a further positive note that, ‘GS enriches the surfing world by contradicting the stereotype and showing the diversity that exists in surfing’.

Outside of the larger city communities though, the surfing lifestyle still holds some of its dated views and a homophobic undertone still lingers.

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INTERESTED IN SURFING l IFORYOU’RE OTHER OCEAN WATER SPORTS CHECK OUT GAYSURFERS.NET OR FACEBOOK.COM/GAYSURFERS.NET

Cori Schumacher

Cori Schumacher, who is both former women’s short board and long board champion, is a strong advocate and member of GaySurfers.net. Cori married her long time partner Maria Cerda in 2008 and is known to be a strong supporter of gay rights. A passionate surfer, Schumacher believes, ‘that being open about one’s sexuality can hinder one’s chances of gaining sponsorship (within the world of surfing). The surf companies and the surf media work in concert to project an image of surfing that is heterosexual... Those who do not fit into the narrow confines of this image are passed over’. When a GLBTQI person wants to gain sponsorship in order to assist their career, knowing they don’t fit this stereotypical marketable image that companies want, can make the choice to ‘out’ themselves very difficult.

In relation to the discriminatory occurrences shown within the surfing community, Thomas touches on ex-professional surfer, Robbins Thompson. Green explains Robbins background as being a former Top Five American surfer whose demise was met when his sexual orientation was made known to others whilst on tour. ‘(Thompson) was inundated by a wave of homophobia that included anti-gay comments in the water, as well as having the word “fag” repeatedly spray-painted on his car,’ states Gay Surfers president, Green. After such assaults, Robbins lost most of his sponsors and ended up dropping out of the tour – a mere example of the harsh environment that can envelope the surfing community.

Schumacher went throughout most of her career not having worked out her sexuality until the more recent years, however she still recalls voices echoing that ‘lesbians were damaging the image of surfing’ from so many surrounding her. ‘I was keenly aware of the negative repercussions of being perceived as a lesbian on tour and by sponsors,’ shares Cori. ‘This stereotype threat haunted my every public move, even when I identified as straight. I think most GLBTQI individuals will understand this intimately. Our fear of being marginalised, bullied, or otherwise shunned is the most hindering force of all’.

GaySurfers.net is a huge leap into the sea of opportunity for many closeted surfers. It has allowed many to network with others on common grounds on a global scale. ‘I’ve joked with Thomas before about how prior to my introduction to GaySurfers.net, I thought gay male surfers were much like unicorns: mythical creatures’, kids Cori. It’s not all jokes though as Schumacher points out, ‘When you can look at a map of the world and see little dots everywhere, pixels that represent the lives of those who have had shared experiences as sublime as surfing and as terrifying (in some cases) as embracing an alternative sexuality, you feel less alone, more empowered, and more able to live an authentic, open, life… lives that will, in turn, inspire others to embrace their own truth’.

Schumacher shares that passion of wave riding; ‘the feeling of surfing a perfect break: The body, the ocean, the energy of the wave, and time, all synergistic-ally fuse in movement and in a harmonious tension that is transcendent. We surfers chase this feeling our entire lives, we wrap ourselves in [it] and become students of the ocean in every conceivable way.’ Thomas Green understands Cori’s love of surfing as do many other queer and straight identifying human beings. The moment that the labels are washed away with the outgoing tide and homophobia is a thing of the past, is a day when surfers can be truly called ‘open minded travellers of the world’.

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This campaign was developed by ACON. Reproduced with permission.

OP.ED

RIGID DEFINITIONS

By Lachlan Keddie

HAVE NEVER BEEN OUR FRIEND Remember when you were at high school, and there were all those different kinds of groups that just naturally formed at every school? You know what I mean: the jocks, the ‘plastic girls’, the stoners and, well, everyone else? Being with likeminded students is a way many teenagers cope with adolescence, by being able to feel ‘normal’.

Many gay and lesbian students, however, are still likely to feel that they are ‘different’ from the others, despite young people being much more accepting of GLBT people than in the past.

For many GLBT students, me included, it does get better once you’re out of the closet. But even years after high school, I can still remember the feeling of isolation. This is not to say that I even necessarily grew up in an intolerant school environment, but simply being in a clear minority can have its effect on many young people.

When society talks about growing up, there are a lot of assumptions in place, particularly when it comes to sexuality. Most obvious of these is the fact that we live in a society that goes by the rule “Straight until proven gay”. For example, a parent will simply assume their daughter will start going crazy about boys. This is not to say her parents are homophobic of course, but that society’s narrative on the process of growing up is lopsided towards a straight teenager’s experience. Being a closeted teenager, it’s often hard to realise how many others there are like you. This can unintentionally make the process of accepting one’s sexuality and coming out just that much harder.

From the minute you finish school, you are freer to socialize with just the people whose company you prefer (with the exception of work and family, of course). This can be a good thing as you feel more comfortable with yourself and can begin to open up about yourself to your friends.

When Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon recently said she had ‘chosen’ her preference for women after having had male partners, there was an understandable backlash from many in the LGBT community. While there were many different and understandable reasons for this, she also stressed that this is simply how it was for her, and that she understands that for most people it isn’t a choice. She has since made a reluctant withdrawal, noting that she may be bisexual (as many bisexuals will generally prefer one gender over the other).

But this opens up another question, what about those with sexualities that do no fit into the standard definitions of gay, lesbian and bisexual?

...EVEN YEARS AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE FEELING OF ISOLATION Some people will go through phases in which they are completely gay while later on in life they will be completely straight (by a natural process, I’m not referring to ‘reparative therapy’). Then of course you have those who are asexual, as well as a few other variations of the three commonly known sexual preferences.

The early days of the gay rights movement were bold indeed, gay rights activists brought about public awareness of something rarely talked about in a positive light before. A community developed on the backbone of tolerance and acceptance of each other’s differences. We have come a long way since those early days, but we still have a distance to go.

Through all this, we need to make sure that we do not forget what it is that has brought about our confidence. It is the fact that through our community, we no longer have to feel alone nor live life feeling that barrier of being different which many of us have felt in out lives. We need to make sure this extends to those who do not fit the commonly understood forms of sexuality, because once upon a time, we didn’t fit the public narrative of sexuality ourselves.

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DIRECT FROM NEW YORK LES BALLETS ELOELLE’S

“Who says ballet can’t be fun?

Freshly funny, sweet-tempered and inventive.”

- The New York Times

Featuring the worlds very best

male ballet dancers!

4-5 May Canberra Theatre Centre BOOK NOW on 6275 2700 From the Artistic Director of Men in Tutus, Victor Trevino see website for regional dates meninpinktights.com

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MONEY SHOT

By Scott Malcolm Scott is the Director of Money Mechanics

MY BIG FAT GAY WEDDING Although getting married may not be in the life plan for everyone, Australia came a step closer to marriage equality at the end of last year. Socially I have been to both same sex and hetero weddings over the past few years so it is fantastic to see the law is finally catching up with society and hopefully soon we’ll have marriage equality for all.

Milanda Rout, a journalist with The Australian wrote in an article on December 26, 2011 that ’the “pink dollar” spent on (same sex) weddings would be worth $742 million a year to the nation’s economy’.

Based on the weddings I have been to in the last few years, depending on what you plan you are not likely to get much change from $20,000 (or often more)! Remember what the celebration is about (you have nothing to prove socially) so do it within your own budget so you don’t end up going into a lot of debt!

So what is the best way to go about saving for your wedding (or any big life expense really)?

STEP 1 : Before you start the savings plan, you need to know what you are saving for! Be SMART in your approach – be Specific and Measurable. Have an Action plan, be Realistic and set Timeframes on when you want things to happen.

If the timeframe is not realistic can you move it back?

STEP 2 : Once you know what you are aiming for total it up, for the example I was talking about above, if you need $20,000, work out from your timeframe how much you need to set aside each pay to get there. If you need it in twelve months time and get paid fortnightly this is $770 per fortnight you need to put away.

If you are willing to wait two years this is $385 per fortnight.

STEP 3 : Work out your current income requirements. Do up a spending plan for the money you need in your lifestyle and see what is left over. Check out our website for a cash flow planning template.

STEP 4 : Check your budget and see where you can make some savings. This usually happens in your discretionary expenses such as entertainment, alcohol, smoking, lunches and coffee! Don’t cut back totally instead think about halving your spending in some of these areas. In real terms taking your own lunch to work each day could save you $3,600 per year if you spend $15 a day on lunch. Any dollar you spend outside the agreed budget is a dollar you have to earn elsewhere!

STEP 5 : Setup a separate high interest cash account (ubank. com.au or ingdirect.com.au are good starting points) and start putting money aside each pay towards your saving plan.

STEP 6 : Once you have agreed on your cash flow plan and savings plan you need discipline and accountability. If you are planning to get married this is a great exercise of how to work together with money! Check in with each other at the start of each pay to plan your next fortnight and make sure you are on track.

STEP 7 : As with any journey remember to enjoy the process and celebrate the successes and reflect on any setbacks or obstacles along the way.

b

If you need assistance in exploring this further talk to a professional, but most importantly start your journey to being free around your money and creating wealth with understanding.

If would like to ask Scott any questions, you can email him at scott@money-mechanics.com.au or call 02 6257 5557. (http://money-mechanics.com.au) Scott Malcolm is Director of Money Mechanics who are authorised to provide financial advice through PATRON Financial Advice AFSL 307379.

The information provided in this article is of a general nature only. It has been prepared without taking into account your objectives, financial situation or needs.

Before acting on this information you should consider its appropriateness having regard to your own objectives, financial situation and needs.

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OUT & ABOUT

FACEBOOK Join Cube on facebook! www.facebook.com/cube.canberra

HOSPITALIT Y SUNDAYS 10P M TO L AT E. $5.00 TAP BEER AND B ASIC SPIRITS

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DJ Pete & DJ Matt playing the hottest dance dirty tracks on Foreplay Fridays.

Friday nights at CUBE.

WWW.FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

♥

FREE ENTRY & HAPPY HOUR

There is nowhere else you should be! Come and join us at Cube nightclub; We do Free entry and happy hour every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night until 11pm.

OPENING HOURS • THURSDAY 9PM-5AM • FRIDAY 9PM-5AM • SATURDAY 10PM-5AM • SUNDAY 10PM-LATE 33 PETRIE PLAZA CIVIC, CANBERRA CITY WWW.CUBENIGHTCLUB.COM.AU

♥

IT’S A NEW YEAR FOR CUBE

In this new year we promise you more exciting things: we now have Kiz and Pete bringing you more drag shows and bigger events then ever before. It’s going to be an unforgettable year.

So please join us at Cube night club for Drag Idol; those who enter in the show will have a chance to win a spot as our own resident drag queen for the year and meet with interstate drag queens for Sydney and Melbourne.

There will also be prizes for runners-up and also some prizes for best drag participants.

This will be a show not to miss. For any info please email us at: info@cubenightclub.com.au

PARTY ALL NIGHT @ CUBE

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FOOTLIGHTS

Men in pink tights

By Robert Henderson

WHEN I THINK OF MALE COMEDY DANCE, MY MIND IMMEDIATELY CONJURES UP BOOFY FOOTY BLOKES IN PINK TUTUS DOING THE ‘DANCE OF THE LITTLE SWANS’ FROM SWAN LAKE. You will see that performed by Les Ballets Eloelle, but unlike the footy boofheads, it’ll be performed by some of the finest professional male ballet dancers from thirteen different countries. One of the highlights for me will be the performance of ‘Act Two of Swan Lake’ with its soaring, yearning theme of impossible love.

In our exclusive interview with Les Ballets Eloelle’s Artistic Director, Victor Trevino, discussed how he danced with the famous gay dance company, Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo, for ten years. He then went on to found another all male dance group, Les Ballets Grandiva, who toured Australia five years ago with Men in Tutus. In this new tour, which lasts six months, they are going to practically every town you can think of, from Esperance to Cairns. It’s a bit like Priscilla Queen of the Desert on overdrive. After doing over ninety venues in Australia and New Zealand, they’ll be off to Japan and Asia.

These beautiful and talented soloists have performed with renowned ballet companies including Houston Ballet, San Francisco Ballet, Royal Danish Ballet, Martha Graham Dance Company and New York City Ballet.

The programme will include the company’s signature work with the cast bringing their own brand of humour to the roles: ‘Swan Lake Act II’ and the George Balanchine creation ‘Go For Barocco’. Men in Pink Tights will also feature duets from both classical and neo-classical origins showcasing a combination of pyrotechnics and comedy, while adhering to the spirit of the originals.

They include ‘Spartacus’, ‘Grande Tarantelle’, ‘Romeo and Juliet’, ‘La Corsaire’, ‘Harlequinade’ and another signature work ‘The Dying Swan’. The show features specially-designed lavish costumes valued at $3 Million.

I’m all very excited — it’s going to be a great show.

The company’s name, Eloelle, comes from a combination of the Spanish and French for ‘man and woman’, but pronounced LOL. You’ll certainly ‘laugh out loud’. But by the end of the evening you’ll be drawn into this strange little world of the ballerinas.

The company is an all male troupe, most of who are gay, but it does include some straight guys to give a combination of energies on stage. Victor says, ‘the whole idea of the company is inclusion, different ages, sexualities and different body types’. Everyone’s very much in shape but there’ll also be big, strong men dancing beautifully and gracefully and fine, elegant men dancing ‘En pointe’.

The dancers come from some of the world’s finest dance companies.

Their principal male dancer, Randy Herrara, was the star and principal of Houston Ballet, one of America’s top three ballet companies. The show is presented as comedy, but it’s not an endless overdone series of pratfalls and hissy fits. ‘That can get tiresome,’ commented Victor.

Canberra Theatre Centre Friday 4 May & Saturday 5 May • Bookings 02 6275 2700 Riverside Theatre, Parramatta Sunday 6 May • Bookings 02 8839 3399 Joan Sutherland Entertainment Centre, Penrith Monday 14 May • Bookings 02 4723 7600 Sutherland Entertainment Centre Tuesday 15 May • Bookings 02 9521 8888 State Theatre, Sydney Saturday 19 May • Bookings 136 100

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Start a

healthy discussion that’s all about you.

The Get Healthy Information and Coaching Service® provides tailored and ongoing telephone support so you can achieve your health goals. Your personal qualified health coach will help you eat healthier, be more active, and reach and maintain a healthy weight.

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Phone 1300 806 258 *

(Monday–Friday 8am–8pm) or visit us at www.gethealthy.act.gov.au *Cost of a local call from a fixed land line.

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The Get Healthy Information and Coaching Service is a NSW Health Initiative

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easy eating

WELLBEING

By Melissa Jien Tai

So you resolved to get healthy this year. You planned to stick to a proper diet, work out regularly and go easy on the alcohol, but by the time the first weekend of 2012 rolled around, all plans were shelved for “next week”. We’ve all been there, and many of us are still stuck on that path where next week turns into next month. Soon enough you’re about to tackle a new year… only you’re still in that same body you vowed you would change.

The good news is that you still can right this wrong. Even better news? No radical lifestyle change is required here. Simply swap out food that you’re already familiar with for these lighter and more nutritious substitutes — we guarantee you’ll feel the difference.

Greek Yogurt Yes, the regular stuff is great; it’s calciumdense, low in calories, contains protein and live cultures that aid digestion. But Greek yogurt is low in calories AND even lower in carbohydrates — only half that of regular yogurt!

Admittedly, Greek yogurt loses calcium through the straining process and only contains half the calcium of regular yogurt. But it also has only half the sodium of regular yogurt and more live and active cultures than regular yogurt.

Translation? Increased probiotic levels in the gut, which means a stronger immune system.

A major downer, though — Greek yogurt’s high fat content almost negates all its benefits — you could buy low-fat or non-fat, or better still just consume less. For non-yogurt eaters, try switching your dips for herb-infused yogurt options. Replace sour cream with Greek yogurt or mayonnaise with yogurt in salad dressings.

Coconut Oil

Fact: coconut oil is high in saturated fats. We’re sure you’ve read those studies that have told you how bad saturated fat is, but here’s where coconut oil bucks the trend: the food is actually really good for your body.

Half of the oil’s fat comes from lauric acid which has anti-viral and anti-bacterial properties. Coconut oil not only strengthens your immune system, it also helps prevent high blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Plus, it boosts metabolism and helps weight loss because unlike its more common vegetable oil counterpart, the oil is easily broken down and burned for energy.

Almond Butter Nuts are nutritious, but not all nuts were created equal. If you’re already a peanut butter fan, try grabbing a jar of almond butter instead. Here’s the rule of thumb: no matter what butter you buy, always opt for the all-natural, no additives version.

Both almond and peanut butter weigh in similarly in terms of calories, fat, protein, and fiber.

Almond butter, however, contains more iron, calcium, and (a whopping 26% more) vitamin E. Better yet, almond butter also contains 50% more monounsaturated fat and 25% less saturated fat — definitely wiser if you’re watching your cholesterol.

Kale

A cup of kale is only 33 calories but its repertoire is impressive; it strengthens bones, fights cancer, fends off inflammatory-related diseases such as arthritis and asthma, ensures a healthy immune system, promotes eye health, lowers cholesterol, prevents kidney stones, and provides 20%of your daily dietary fiber.

Other benefits: it facilitates the absorption of important minerals into the body; it helps dissolve kidney stones and prevents kidney and gall bladder diseases, and has even been shown to reduce viral susceptibility of HIV patients.

Its bitter, earthy flavor might first seem intimidating, so try swapping your potato chips for kale chips instead. And don’t go running out to the nearest supermarket to get a pack – those often run expensive for a small serving. Instead, de-stem a bunch of kale, roughly chop and season with some olive oil and sea salt. Bake in an oven at 150°C till crisp.

The best part? It’s probably the easiest thing to introduce into your diet. Replace your regular cooking oil with coconut oil, or try baking with it – swap butter or vegetable oil for coconut oil in a 1:1 ratio.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Dead wrong. Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels — and these chips confirm it.

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PUMP

TREASURE CHEST THIS MONTH FUSE TALKS TO SCOTT HERMAN — YOUTUBE’S MOST SUPPORTIVE AND TRUSTED ONLINE FITNESS GURU — ABOUT WORKING THOSE BOY PUPPIES.

A muscular chest is a powerful asset and let’s face it, there is nothing like a guy with a great set of pectorals to get your blood pumping. If you struggle with a flat or uneven chest, here is Scott’s cure. Dumbbells will allow you to activate more muscle fibers and ensure that you are working out each pectoral evenly. For the best results, use a gym buddy to spot you. This master class routine focuses on muscle growth and strength gain. Sets are PECTORALS therefore done in a pyramid. Lifters are expected to max out the weight for each rep, however Scott advises never to sacrifice weight for form.

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By Trent Locke

MASTER CLASS

INCLINE BARBELL CHEST PRESS Grab an incline bench press. Make sure that your elbows are tucked in toward your lats but are at least 4-5 inches away from them. Tucking your arms in allows you to push through the triceps (and not the shoulders) In all these to both maximize your control over the weight and the chest muscle fibers that exercises, hips and are engaged. From here you must extend your arms up while ensuring that back should be the weight stays over your chest and not your shoulders. Once at the top against the bench begin to lower the weight back down to the starting position. pad with feet flat on the ground. Breathe out as you extend DUMBBELL INCLINE CHEST FLY your arms.

Set the bench to 45 degrees, grab dumbbells and lie back with them held by your chest (palms facing in).

From here, extend your arms up and ensure that the weight stays over your chest. Next, while keeping a slight bend in your elbows, begin to lower your arms away from your body with your palms facing the ceiling. Stop once your elbows are the same height as your back. Make sure that your arms are extended far enough so the exercise is a fly and not a press. Bring the dumbbells back to the starting position and repeat.

DUMBBELL CHEST PRESS On a flat bench, grab dumbbells and lie back with them held by your chest (palms forward).

Your elbows should be tucked in toward your lats. Tucking arms in allows you to push through the triceps (and not the shoulders) to maximize your control over the weight and the chest muscle fibers that are engaged.

Next, extend arms up while ensuring that the weight stays over your chest and not your shoulders. Once at the top begin to lower the weight back down to the starting position.

SCOTT’S WARM-UP TIPS! Before beginning your chest routine, Scott says it is a good idea to do a warmup. Warming up provides increased blood flow and oxygen to the muscles that you are going to be working.

This not only helps prevent injury, it will help you to get a better lift as well.

A general warm-up, such as walking at a moderate pace on the treadmill, is good. Also, perform a few sets of each exercise with lighter weight and higher repetitions, then gradually increase the weight until reaching the workout goal.

w For more free tips, visit

scotthermanfitness.com

G facebook.com/

ScottHermanFitness

5 sets per exercise.

Reps will vary per set.

Use your max weight for each rep range.

Set 1 : 12reps Set 2 : 10reps Set 3 : 8reps Set 4 : 6reps Set 5 : 4reps

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Tilley’s

Devine Café Gallery

TILLEY’S IS NESTLED IN TREE LINED LYNEHAM For over 26 years Tilley’s has been famous for its breakfasts, lunches and dinners... and of course its fabulous coffees. Tilley’s attracts not only ‘regulars’ but visitors from overseas and interstate who enjoy the all-day menu specials, and oh such lovely cake!

Internationally renowned for legendary blues, jazz and classical concerts, Tilley’s continues to attract artists of international calibre who prefer the intimacy of a warm theatre atmosphere clad in red velvet, brass and dark timber booths. With a fully licensed bar, one can enjoy champagne with breakfast, or in the evening savour our broad range of wines, spirits or boutique beers on tap.

RAW COMEDY 2012 COMES TO CANBERRA! Who will be the last comedian standing when the Melbourne International Comedy Festival presents ‘RAW Comedy 2012’.

Raw Comedy is one of Australia’s most prestigeous comedy competitions which has some of Australia’s best comedic talents put their skills on the line for five minutes of fame all in the name of recieving the glorious title of RAW Comedy National Grand Final winner.

IN THE SHOW : RAW COMEDY 2012 At Tilley Saturday 3 March 8pm : Tickets $20 on the door.

THE CALL IS YOURS! TILLEY’S CAN DO IT FOR YOU! CORNER OF WATTLE & BRIGALOW STREETS, LYNEHAM Serving you breakfast, lunch and dinner 7 days • Monday to Saturday: 9am – 10pm Sundays: 9am – 6pm • To reserve your favourite table or booth phone us on 6247 7753 34

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BORN THIS WAY ‘I UNDERSTAND THAT FOR MANY PEOPLE IT’S NOT, BUT FOR ME IT’S A CHOICE, AND YOU DON’T GET TO DEFINE MY GAYNESS FOR ME.’ This is what Cynthia Nixon, best known for her role as Miranda in Sex and the City, and a woman who spent fifteen years in a relationship with a man, but is now engaged to a woman, recently said to The New York Times Magazine.

The response has been amazing. Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out (truthwinsout.org) stated: ‘Cynthia did not put adequate thought into the ramifications of her words... When people say it’s a choice, they are green-lighting an enormous amount of abuse because if it’s a choice, people will try to influence and guide young people to what they perceive as the right choice.’

Blogger Perez Hilton responded by saying: ‘We totally hear her out and true, we cannot define her “gayness,” but it wasn’t a choice for us. We were BORN gay. And millions of gay people around the world feel the same way.’

These responses are part of an idea in the queer movement that we need to fight back against the idea that sexuality is a choice. The defense, based on the idea that if sexuality is solely biological then it makes it harder to discriminate against us, has become engrained in mainstream queer activism. As the reaction to Nixon shows however, it is an idea that is having serious negative effects on the queer movement.

OP.ED

By Simon Copland

Sexuality is about much more than biology. Sexuality discusses identification, both collectively and individually, as well as how we act as sexual agents in society. As sexual agents, we all make a range of choices, whether it is coming out, participating in relationships, identifying in a particular way or engaging in sexual acts. It is access to these sorts of choices that is central to the idea of queer liberation.

When we deny any form of sexual choices therefore, we not only isolate those who speak actively about their choices (such as Cynthia Nixon), but we also actively remove agency around our sexuality. When we say things like, ‘it’s not a choice, why would we want to choose this?’ What we’re actually saying is ‘we don’t want to be like this, but we have no ability to change it’. We have no sexual agency.

As we demand that sexuality is only biological, we make it easier for our opponents to fight against true sexual liberation, where we all have the ability to make active sexual choices. This pushes us into accepting labels, once again placed on us from those with power in the community, once again taking away our ability to make active choices about how we identify ourselves.

Sexuality is as much about identity as it is our biological urges.

Identification is essential to our sexual agency and targeting those who speak publicly about the sexual choices they make is simply not acceptable. As Cynthia Nixon also stated: ‘A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out.

I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.’

Instead of saying ‘why would we want to choose this?’ Let’s start saying, ‘of course we would choose this, being queer is awesome’.

That’s the response of a movement fighting for the ability to be true sexual agents in society.

Sex and the City’s Cynthia Nixon and her partner Christine Marinoni. Nixon and Marinoni began dating in 2004 and anounced their engagement in 2009. The Sex and the City star has two children, Samantha, and Charles, from her previous relation­ship with photographer Danny Mozes.

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OUT & ABOUT

Fair day ey Sydn

2012

SYDNEY MARDI GRAS FAIRDAY 2012 — PHOTOS BY HELEN McCALLUM

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MUSIC

By Tony Hamlyn

GIFTS FOR YOUR EARS

EAR CANDY

SINGLES MADONNA FEAT NICKI MINAJ & M.I.A.

GIVE ME ALL YOUR LUVIN’ Okay, for a brief moment let’s forget all about the Gaga war and the Superbowl hype and all that other stuff – let’s just try and judge this song on face value.

Co-written and co-produced by Parisian DJ Martin Solveig, this is the first single from the upcoming MDNA album and, as a first single, it completely delivers what it needs to. The faux cheerleading pulls you in and the go-go chorus knocks you out and by the time you get to the phenomenal bridge (Madonna of course has a history of jaw dropping middle-eights) you have no choice but to just surrender to the sheer joy of it all. Not too far from the Xenomania sound of bands like Girls Aloud, ‘Give Me All Your Luvin’’ is a piece of perfectly crafted 60s-inspired pop that’s undeniably cute and catchy. Is this the best thing she’s ever done? No, not by a long shot. But they can’t all be ‘Ray of Light’ or ‘Express Yourself’ and, let’s be honest; this is still a whole lot niftier than most stuff out there now. Pour the daiquiris, slap on that sunscreen, and enjoy those last remnants of summer that this fabulous song evokes.

LANA DEL REY

BORN TO DIE Lana Del Rey’s lithium-soaked tenor is back with ‘Born to Die’ (ooh, moody), the second single from the album of the same name.

Like her last track, ‘Video Games’, this is a somber, well-thought-out exercise in style over substance.

Some say haunting, I actually find her rather dull. That being said, the video is quite spectacular and the Triple J set are no doubt going to be sliding off their chairs with delight as they pretend they don’t see the resemblance to Antonia Kidman.

I don’t mind Lana nearly as much when I get to watch her slouch through palatial 16th century French drawing rooms in her Converse All Stars, smoking rollies with her tattooed rough trade, pulling out every 1960s Americana cliché under the sun. What I can’t get past however is her lazy, disaffected tone that’s kind of the vocal equivalent of having to watch Kristen Stewart act.

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JASON DONOVAN NOW

MYSTERIOUS RETURN… A rather strange email recently landed in the BUZZ inbox announcing the “welcome return” of one of Australia’s most enduring recording artists.

According to the email, this mystery man has “a catalogue of hit singles, including four UK No. 1s” and has also “dominated news stands for almost two decades.” Our minds raced at the possibilities as we scrolled down to find the celebrity in question was…

JASON DONOVAN! To be fair, whilst those claims may be somewhat misleading, none are actually untrue. It would appear that his recent success on the UK’s version of Dancing with the Stars has reinvigorated Jason’s recording career, and we say bravo!

March 14 is the release date, and frankly we’re excited to see what happens next.

GOSSIP JASON DONOVAN THEN

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Is it time for a sea change?

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The house has a formal entry, powder room, large open-plan living with timber floor, quality kitchen and generous storage, high ceilings, expansive deck with covered entertaining area.

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EAR CANDY

ALBUMS EMELI SANDE

OUR VERSION OF EVENTS WHO IS CONOR MAYNARD? Keep your ears and eyes open for a young Brighton lad called Conor Maynard whose been tearing it up in the UK and will go global in about five minutes time.

It’s the same old story: Boy posts cover versions on YouTube; Record company signs boy; MTV UK proclaim boy “Brand New for 2012”. It’s a fairy tale for the ages.

Conor is sort of what Justin Bieber might be like if he appeared on the TV show Skins. He’s 19-years-old, he’s cute as a bug’s ear, and his first single ‘Can’t Say No’ comes out soon. Visit him at: conor-maynard.com

SUGA BABES BE BACK? True or False?

There seems to be a lot of contradictory story telling surrounding the reformation of legendary girl-group Sugababes. Popjustice.com reported the original lineup of Mutya, Keisha and Siobhan are back in the studio working on new material and what could be the biggest comeback since Jesus Christ. This came after the girls had separately tweeted being in the studio at the same time with producer Professor Green.

However, Mutya and Siobhan have since been quoted by various news sources saying the rumours are just that: Rumours. A world waits in anticipation

RUFUS AND RONSON What’s better than a new Rufus Wainwright album?

How about a new Rufus Wainwright album co-written and produced by Mark Ronson! The album, entitled Out Of the Game, isn’t due ‘til late April but the buzz is that it’s the best work yet from either party, and will be an epic pop/soul offering that promises to blow everyone away!

GOSSIP

Hopes are high for this Scottish songstress. ‘Heaven’, Emeli’s first solo single released in the latter part of 2011, was a brilliant track with an urban/dance feel almost reminiscent of 90s house trailblazers like The Chimes or Massive Attack, and it no doubt helped cement her win this year’s Brit Awards Critic’s Choice trophy. And while this album is an undeniably strong debut, it’s a little less edgy than what may have been expected. A much more commercial offering, here we have fourteen tracks of delicious soul balladeering with the occasional foray into dark string-filled storytelling, the highlights of which are ‘Mountains’, ‘My Kind Of Love’, and the album’s second single, ‘Next To Me’. There are moments when Emeli evokes what it might perhaps sound like if Leona Lewis decided to have a Sasha Fierce-like alter ego, and while it all starts out very Lauren Hill, it ends up a bit power ballad bingo. But that’s not a bad thing, as her vocal abilities are completely first class.

So if big well-produced R&B vocal is your kinda thing, then this album is guaranteed to hit your sweet spot.

PET SHOP BOYS

FORMAT

Throughout their lengthy career the Pet Shop Boys have consistently produced some wonderful homo pop electronica (hompoptronica?), sometimes to great success and sometimes to a somewhat mediocre reception. This is not a new offering, but an extensive 38-track compilation of remastered B-sides from 96 - 09, following on from an earlier release, Alternative, which chartered the band’s b-sides from 85 – 94. Some of the titles might be recognisable, including the Robbie Williams track originally written by My Robot Friend, ‘We’re the Pet Shop Boys’, and the Dusty Springfield classic from 1987, ‘In Private’, redone as a duet of sorts with Sir Elton. If you’re not already a fan, Format probably won’t sway you in any way, but if you like the PSBs and want to explore their weird and wonderful world a little more comprehensively then this album is the way to go. There are some beautiful moments here, including ‘Confidential’ (originally written for Tina Turner) and the homoerotic ‘Sexy Northerner’. The song choices are terrific, the production values are legendary, and the quirky, gay-themed lyrics are inspired.

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SHOW US YA PECS!

By Stuart Poole

TOP QUEER

WELL THERE WAS LOTS OF TALK (BOTH GOOD AND BAD, DEPENDING ON THE REPORTER’S PERSPECTIVE) ABOUT SUMMERNATS. BEING A DEDICATED GAY PETROL HEAD, I FELT OBLIGED TO CHECK IT ALL OUT. The “Nats” is pretty much about cars and trade stands with some entertainment thrown in. Oh, and I nearly forgot — eye candy! It’s definitely mellower than the events I attended in the 90s — there are no riots these days like there used to be. It got pretty scary at one point, but management has put in a big effort over the last few years to ensure everyone can enjoy the event without fear, and it seems to have paid off. Yes there are places that are rougher than others, but they can be easily avoided.

So there are cars, lots of cars! Big cars, little cars, loud cars and some pretty gay looking cars. Pretty much if it’s a car, then it’s OK. Personally I like the big old Fords and Holdens — the ones that still have steel bumpers.

There used to be standards for street machines, but I assume that these have slackened or there are a few exemptions made.

I wouldn’t consider a standard Hilux with Ford wheels to be “highly modified” but fill the Ute tub up with hot boys drinking beer and it’s looking a lot better from my point of view. And girls, there were quite a few hot inked up chicks, who obviously weren’t gawking at the boys in the Ute. It was good to see some girls cruising around in their own cars too. When I first started attending there might have been one or two female entrants but that’s defiantly on the rise.

Although Supernats doesn’t draw a huge gay crowd, at no point was this perceived to be a problem for me personally. Even with my car showing its rainbow sticker proudly in the middle of the arena.

As for entertainment, I didn’t see a lot of it this year but The Screaming Jets were the headline act, and being from Tuggeranong, that bodes well with me. There was heaps of live music and I am sure there was a wet t-shirt contest or six, but I failed to notice!

The trade stands could sell you all sorts of gear for your car at some excellent prices, and you could actually talk to the person who made the parts in some cases! It might not sound too flash to some people, but in my line of work, mingling with these people is invaluable. If you were in the market for some fully sick subwoofers and an amp, there would be plenty of people after you business.

The eye candy: there is nothing like hot weather to provoke minimal clothing and by Sunday some nasty sunburn. But I have to say on the whole I was pretty impressed. Oh, and did I mention most had consumed more than six beers (google ‘six beer theory’)!? There was “Muscle Mary” corner, where a group of guys wearing skimpy shorts were standing round constantly comparing muscles and ink.

Of course there was the requisite number of girls in the back of utes with quick release bikini tops ready to reveal their puppies at anyone that shouted, ‘Show us ya tits’. I guess it’s all very hetero, but it was fun even for a gay guy. Even Aunt Dorothy enjoyed herself!

AUNT DOROTHY’S

MOTORING TIP

Have a Dagwood Dog. Sure they taste like crap, the tomato sauce will spill on your shirt and it might even kill you! But events like Summernats and Royal Shows are just not complete without processed meat, battered and deep-fried on a stick!

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STARGAZER MARCH & APRIL

By Melisa Paz

YOUR HOROSCOPE

Aquarius

January 21 – February 18

Pisces

February 19 –March 20

Mars will be helping you to achieve your goals in March so keep motivated about that project you have been working on.

2012 will be almost a peaceful year and March will be the perfect month to start saving some money. Jupiter will help you focus your priorities in April.

TIP: Get some rest and eat well. These will be pretty busy months, so you’ll need all the energy you can muster.

TIP: Try spending some time alone around the first week of March — it will be very good for your soul.

Taurus

April 21 – May 21 You are going to feel exhausted by the end of March. But the Sun is going to make April the perfect month to put some energy into making those changes you have been thinking about.

TIP: Try spending some time out with your friends the second weekend of April.

Leo

July 23 – August 23

Gemini

May 22 – June 21 Venus is going to make sure you have a great March in the area of love, whether you have a partner or not.

TIP: Don’t be afraid to get a little flirty if you are single, and a little romantic if you have a partner already — Venus is making it a perfect time for it.

Virgo

August 24 –September 23

It looks like someone is going to give you a hard time about sexuality. But don’t worry, the moon will be on your side. By mid April, Mars is going to give you a nice surprise in the love area.

You are going to have to start taking care of your finances. Jupiter is telling you to stop spending money on things you don’t really need. After March 21 is a good time to concentrate on friendships.

TIP: Eat well and take care of yourself.

You might be feeling run down.

TIP: Get creative! April will be a great month to start any project you want.

Scorpio

October 24 – November 22 Jupiter will make sure everything is going well at work, so it will be the right time to focus on other areas of your life.

TIP: By the last weekend of March you should stay home and have a “me weekend”. It will clean your energies and give your April a great beginning.

Sagittarius

November 23 – December 22

Aries

March 21 – April 20 During March and April, Jupiter will give you self-confidence. Everybody around you is going to notice how great you are feeling. Try to avoid a confrontation with a sibling on March 12.

TIP: In April, plan a weekend out of the city, get in touch with nature.

Cancer

June 22 – July 22 Travel and love seems to be Venus’ choice for you in late March. Plus, Jupiter is going to give you a nice surprise at work by mid April.

TIP: You might want to start saving some money at the beginning of March as the extra cash might prove useful.

Libra

September 24 – October 23

By April you will be feeling like you really need to express your opinion regarding work matters — but don’t worry, Saturn will be there helping you to do it.

TIP: Try showing your loved ones how much you care about them in the first week of March.

Capricorn

December 23 – January 20

If you are in a relationship you will have to be careful in the first week of April, try to avoid any kind of arguments.

Mercury is telling you to change some bad habits.

You might want to start thinking about working on that project you have had in mind for a while, since Jupiter is going to help you this month. A relationship issue could require your attention.

TIP: Try to stay away from gossip at work, as it will cause issues.

TIP: Pluto is telling you to enjoy some home time around April 17.

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COMMUNITY DIRECTORY AIDS Action Council The AIDS Action Council provides information, support and services.

More info: www.aidsaction.org.au A Gender Agenda A resource for transgender, intersex, gender queer and gender variant people. www.genderrights.org.au ACTQueer A free email list for LGBTI people in Canberra and surrounding region. groups.yahoo.com/group/actqueer Bent Lenses Canberra’s very own queer film culture group. Check out movie times online at www.bentlenses.org Bit Bent Youth Group Meet other young people, get support or just hang out. Mondays at Belconnen Youth Centre 6pm–8pm and Thursdays at the Woden Youth Centre 5pm–6.30pm.

More info email: bit_bent@hotmail.com Canberra Gay & Lesbian QWIRE Want to be involved with Canberra’s own gay and lesbian choir? Singers and non-singers encouraged. More info: canberraqwire@yahoo.com.au Dyke Dinner & Movie Group More info on FUSE website or see Canberra Lesbians on Facebook.

Fruits in Boots A social and support network for rural GLBTI members outside the ACT. Email: fruitsinboots@gmail.com Gay ACT Squash Group Wednesdays 6.30pm–7.30pm. National Sports Club, Mouat St, Lyneham. groups.google.com/group/gayactsquash PFLAG-ACT A support and friendship group for parents and friends of LGBTI people.

More info email pflag.act@gmail.com

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Long Yang A friendly social club for Asian and non-Asian gays and their friends.

Canberra: lyccanberra.org Sydney: sydney.longyangclub.org Pink Tennis Gay & Lesbian Tennis Group meets Mondays 6pm–9pm at Turner Tennis Club, Cnr McCaughey & Condamine Sts.

✪ Lunch at Tilley’s anyone?

CANBERRA HANGOUTS

Qnet — Queer Youth Cyberspace Qnet is an online community for GLBTI people under the age of 25. www.qnet.org.au

Cube Nightclub Canberra’s premier gay nightclub venue.

33 Petrie Plaza Civic, Canberra City. www.cubenightclub.com.au

Queanbeyan Youth Support Group Make new friends and discuss issues.

Mondays 4pm–6pm at Axis Youth Centre, Campbell Street, Queanbeyan Park.

Phoenix Pub The Phoenix is a chilled out friendly pub where everyone is welcome to drop by for a beer or some Drag Bingo!

21 East Row, Canberra City. www.lovethephoenix.com

Queer Scientists of the ACT For queer scientists of all disciplines for networking, support, socialising, and to combat discrimination. Email damien.huffer@gmail.com for more info.

Radio Q Canberra LGBTI community radio show on 2xx 98.3FM, 8.30pm–11pm on Thursdays or online at 2xxfm.org.au Rainbow Bubs A playgroup and support group for same sex parents and their kids.

Email: hoogied@yahoo.com Rainbow Bowlers ‘Gay Bowling’ Sunday nights. Belconnen Bowling Alley. 1 Emu Bank from 7pm.

South Coast Pride NSW From Wollongong down to Merimbula come out, come out, wherever you are!

Email: southcoastpride@live.com Uni of Canberra LGBTI group A social group for all LGBTI students and staff. Queer Space is located at the UCSA building 1 at the Uni of Canberra.

Info email: sexuality@theucsa.org.au

Tilley’s Devine Cafe For over 26 years Tilley’s has been a gathering place for the gay and lesbian community. Warm and sumptuous, it’s famous for its food and fabulous coffees and cake. To reserve your favourite table or booth call us on 6247 7753.

Cnr of Wattle & Brigalow Sts, Lyneham.

Bar32 Bar32 is gay friendly bar and nightclub with a mixed younger crowd. Indy and alternative dance music and bands.

32 Northbourne Avenue, Canberra City. www.bar32.com Ranch Men’s Lounge Canberra’s men’s space. They are located at Unit 19, Molongo Mall in Fyshwick ACT. A safe venue for men who want to meet men. See ad p47.

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47

DEAR ROSE

‘‘

By Rose Pappalardo

Dear Rose, I’ve discovered that my GF is pretty unstable and after hearing stories from a previous GF I’m pretty scared of the ramifications of dumping her. What can I do?

Alley

Alley, @ Dear Be careful of the stories you hear from other people;

there is her version, the ex’s version and in between is the truth. Make sure the reasons you want to break up are your own!

As for the actual break up with your current GF; you have to expect the other person will be upset, however, there are limits. You need to be clear with yourself on what behavior is reasonable and acceptable. Some people hang around their exes, because they feel guilty when an ex is not coping. Take it from me, that tends to make it worse as lingering around may give the impression they may get a second chance, instead of accepting the situation and moving on.

If you are concerned about your safety, always make sure that you have someone with you when socializing, even if it is just to diffuse potential problems. Domestic violence takes many forms and as much as we don’t like to admit, it happens in our community. Check out anothercloset.com.au for information about domestic violence in G&L relationships.

‘‘

Dear Rose, I am a 26 year-old bi girl in a long-term relationship with a man and come from a strict religious family — we are very close. I feel like I should be honest about my sexuality, but I’m worried they will overreact to the situation. Should I hold my tongue or spill my guts?

Simone

Simone, @ Dear Given that you are concerned with their reaction, your

gut instincts are probably right. I am all for being open about who you are, especially with the people you love however, if you were straight, would you be discussing your sexuality with family? And, what do you hope to achieve by discussing your sexuality with them?

I am not suggesting going back into the closet (heaven forbid!) But talking to your family may damage your relationship with them. Not because being bi is wrong, but just like being gay, some people can’t get their head around the idea. If you were going out with a girl and this issue impacted on your relationship, I could see a need to discuss this with your family. But sometimes in life, it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.

48

If you would like to write to Dear Rose email her at: dearrose@fusemagazine.com.au

‘‘

Dear Rose, My mum is only 36 and is very cool. When I started going out to bars last year she came along — she’s loads of fun and my friends really love her — but I think it’s time now for me to go solo. I know she’s going to be really upset as my friends and I have become her entire social life. Suggestions?

Jay

Jay, @ Dear Big “Snaps” to your funky Mum, she

sounds absolutely divine. But I think you’re right, time for you to go solo and test your own wings.

Go delicately when trying to extract from the apron strings. Spoiling this terrific relationship you have developed with your Mum would be a shame.

I recommend that you pick a night or weekend you know she is going to be doing something really interesting and at the same time, plan a big night out with your friends. Make sure the next day you make a point of going out for coffee or brunch with her to chat about each of your nights out. This gives you an opportunity to foster a special space and commonality for just the both of you.

Another suggestion is to create situations where she has the opportunity to spread her youthful attitude and reconnect with her own friends. Or if she doesn’t have close friends, perhaps encourage her to get out there and try a new hobby, sport or even a holiday overseas.

Remember though, be patient and persistent, after all she is still young and the world is her oyster!

‘Don’t you ever let a soul in the world tell you that you can’t be exactly who you are.’

Lady Gaga

Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta was born and raised in New York City. She studied at the Convent of the Sacred Heart and briefly attended New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts before withdrawing to focus on her musical career.

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