FUSE38 : Be Happy. Lesbian Lifestyle (Girl Cover)

FUSE LOVE SHINES THROUGH GROUND-BREAKING MARRIAGE LEGISLATION PASSES IN THE ACT

MADE IN AUSTRALIA FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU NOV / DEC 2013

LIFE LOVE 38 24 EQUALITY

N

Happiness 101

NOURISHING THE SOUL WITH YOGA JOYFULLY RECOGNISED THE PURSUIT OF FINANCIAL CONTENTMENT HAPPINESS & HEALTH

+ 2013 CANBERRA SPRINGOUT FESTIVAL GUIDE

-–> > > TRUE HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB

QLIFE FOR LIFE

FUSE MAGAZINE MADE IN AUSTRALIA NOV / DEC 2013

LIFE LOVE 38 EQUALITY EDITOR Alexander Thatcher

39

ASSOCIATE EDITORS Linda Djumlija Yasmin Element

FUSE FEATURES 12

POLITICAL EDITOR Simon Copland CREATIVE DIRECTOR Christopher Powell CONTRIBUTORS Scott Malcolm Elizabeth Gorrell Andrew Barr Rose Pappalardo Bebe Backhouse Rebecca Langham Dwayne Lennox Melisa Paz Philippa Moss David Sequeira

11 CHECK OUT OUR

SPRINGOUT FESTIVAL GUIDE P17

29

24 Discover some simple things you can do

today that will make you happier, with our

FUSE Happiness 101 Toolkit.

38 Fill your heart with happiness by taking

personal responsibilty for your own health.

11

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. ACT Deputy Chief Minister Andrew Barr writes about the new ACT same-sex marriage laws.

31 Same-sex parent Rebecca Langham writes

about being a joyfully recognised mum.

Published + designed by: Lithium Innovation Pty Ltd lithium.net.au ISSN 1836-8387

FUSE REGULARS 42

WWW.FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU All rights reserved. No part of the magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. The appearance, mention or likeness of any person or organisation in editorial or advertising in no way suggests sexual or political orientation. Photographs used to illustrate editorial do not depict the real lives, behaviour or sexuality of the models. Opinions expressed in the magazine are not necessarily those of the FUSE publisher, editor or staff. Any health, fitness or dietary advice contained in this magazine is for informational purposes only. Consult your physician and a fitness/health professional before changing your diet, doing any exercise program, or taking any supplements or remedies of any kind. Submissions of text, photographs or any other material will be taken as consent to publish said material.

17 Canberra SpringOUT is here! Check out our

complete eight page festival guide. Packed with

fabulous events, it’s going to be our best yet!

FUSE OP.ED

PHOTOGRAPHERS Doug Robinson Rose Pappalardo CONTACT FUSE 0412 309 992 hello@fusemagazine.com.au fusemagazine.com.au PO Box 3577 Manuka ACT 2603

Now popular throughout the world, people have been practicing yoga for thousands of years. In this special feature we look at how it can quieten the mind and nourish the soul.

12

02 04 07 08 17 29

Editor’s Rant What’s On : Movie Reviews What’s On : Events & Shows Round Up : News & Politics Community : SpringOUT Festival Guide Out & About : Cube Nightclub

33 35 38 40 42 45 46 48

Money Shot : Financial Contentment Ear Candy : Music Reviews & News Health : Taking Personal Responsibilty Couch Potato : Film & TV Out & About : AAC Cabaret Stargazer : Your Horoscope FUSE Community Directory Dear Rose FUSE38CONTENTS

1

❂ BE HAPPY Alexander Thatcher Editor

Aside from basic survival, the pursuit of happiness is arguably one of the most fundamental concerns of every human being on the planet. But have we been going about it the right way?

“If I work harder, I’ll be more successful. And if I’m more successful, then I’ll be happier.” This is the way most of us think. It took me many years to realise that this — and everything else I thought about happiness — was actually wrong. It was a changing point in my life, a new place to start from, but it wasn’t easy.

The “happiness” industry is now worth well over $10 billion a year. Advice on how to be happy is everywhere, but rarely do these words of wisdom actually help us become happier. Why? Because to be happy you have to stop first. Stop the excessive working and consuming, stop the constant thinking and — my personal favourite — stop demanding that happiness look a certain way. Of course stopping is something most of us find extremely difficult to do in today’s busy and distracting world. And to find true contentment I think a person has to do just as much un-learning of old habits as learning of new ones.

We have some special “happiness” features this issue which may help: quietening the mind and nourishing your soul through yoga p12; our happiness101 toolkit p24; the pursuit of financial contentment p33; and owning happiness by taking personal responsibility for your health p38.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU Check out the FUSE Magazine website for daily news, videos, special online features, what’s on listings, the latest community up dates on our popular message board, the FUSE business directory and more!

ADVERTISE WITH FUSE Interested in advertising with FUSE? Call us on 0412 309 992 or email hello@fusemagazine. com.au

FOLLOW US

TWITTER.COM/ FUSEMAGAZINE 2

EDITOR’SRANT

And talking about happiness, Tuesday 22 October 2013 was a day filled with joy as the ACT became the first jurisdiction in Australia to pass laws legalising same-sex marriages.

As the Deputy Chief Minister Andrew Barr choked back tears and the Chief Minister Katy Gallagher told us that the federal government’s high court challenge “should not deter us,” supporters wept and sang ‘Love is in the Air’. It was quite the day and a historic occasion that Canberra can be mighty proud of. Read our coverage p8 and p11.

We’re also thrilled to include the full 2013 SpringOUT Festival Guide this issue p17. It’s going to be the biggest and best SpringOUT yet with lots of great new events, plus all your old favourites — a fantastic way to end the year.

We hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season, may yours be filled with equality and love. See you in 2014.

Enjoy, Alex

NEVER NEVERMISS MISSAACOPY COPYOF OFFUSE! FUSE! Subscribe to FUSE and have it delivered for only $7 per issue. For more details visit fusemagazine.com.au or scan this QR CODE.

LIKE US

SEARCH FUSE MAGAZINE ON FACEBOOK

IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT FACTORY FARMING...

Few people realise that factory farming is the single greatest cause of animal cruelty on the planet today. Visit MakeItPossible.com and join thousands of other caring Australians who are making a world without factory farming possible.

Watch the film.

Sign the pledge.

Inspire others.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

3

MOVIES

By Dwayne Lennox

FUSE MOVIE PICK OF THE MONTH!

THE HUNGER GAMES — CATCHING FIRE OPENS 21 NOVEMBER ENOUGH SAID : OPENS 14 NOVEMBER Although tinged with sadness given it features one of the final screen performances by James Gandolfini, writer-director Nicole Holofcener’s latest feature is a wonderfully fun yet smart look at finding love in middle age. When the recently divorced Eva (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) begins dating Albert (Gandolfini), the relationship becomes complicated when she discovers he is the ex-husband of her new friend, Marianne (Catherine Keener). Toni Collette also stars in this rom-com for grown-ups.

BLACKFISH : OPENS 21 NOVEMBER

FUSE MUST SEE DOCUMENTARY OF THE MONTH!

Just as The Cove opened our eyes to the horrors of the Japanese treatment of dolphins, this doco will make you sad and angry about the treatment of orcas (killer whales) which are “trained” to entertain us in marine parks around the world. Whales like Tilikum, who has been a captive at SeaWorld for most of his life and who has lashed out on more than one occasion with fatal results. Free Willy indeed. Blackfish is a Dendy exclusive.

Since the first Hunger Games film was released, leading lady Jennifer Lawrence has exploded; winning the Best Actress Oscar (Silver Linings Playbook) and basically winning everyone over with her fun but ‘noBS’ attitude. It’s that latter character trait she brings to Katniss Everdeen, the Hunger Games heroine who is once again forced to fight for her life in this sequel.

Philip Seymour Hoffman joins an already impressive ensemble for this second instalment, which also sees Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend) assume the director’s chair. The odds of box office success would seem to be in the film’s favour.

KILL YOUR DARLINGS : OPENS 5 DECEMBER Harry Potter goes gay! Well, kind of. Daniel Radcliffe plays Beat Generation poet, Allen Ginsberg, in this college-set period drama based on actual events.

When Ginsberg meets the enigmatic Lucien Carr (Chronicle’s Dane DeHaan) he becomes immersed in a world of homoerotic infatuation and murder.

Debutant director John Krokidas’s impressive cast also includes Elisabeth Olsen, Michael C. Hall (TV’s Dexter), Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Ben Foster as another Beat poet, William S. Burroughs.

✔ FREE MOVIE TICKETS

Email us and tell us what you think of FUSE, comment on an article or sign up to the FUSE eNews and you could win free tickets to these fantastic movies. hello@fusemagazine.com.au

FREE MOVIE PASSES KINDLY SUPPLIED BY DENDY CINEMAS CANBERRA LEVEL 2, NORTH QUARTER CANBERRA CENTRE, BUNDA STREET, CANBERRA CITY 261-263 KING STREET, NEWTOWN • SHOP 9, 2 EAST CIRCULAR QUAY, SYDNEY PORTSIDE WHARF, REMORA ROAD, HAMILTON WWW.DENDY.COM.AU

4

WHAT’SON

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

ALL-NEW NISSAN JUKE. SERIOUS FUN. The eye-catching Nissan JUKE is a compact sports crossover, with attitude that matches its unique urban styling. Its distinctive design, high ride visibility and funky interior set it aside from the pack and put you in control. Sporty and distinctive styling, innovative AWD system* and Direct Injection Turbo engine*. Packed with personality inside and out, the JUKE is ready to bring more fun to the everyday.

AVAILABLE

NOW

Overseas Model Shown

Book a test drive online at www.lennocknissan.com.au

Lennock Nissan

150 Melrose Drive, Phillip - Tel: (02) 6282 2022 www.lennocknissan.com.au Opening hours 8.30am–5.30pm Mon–Fri | 9am – 4pm Saturday | Sunday Closed *Available on selected models.

5

Canberra’s sweetest eyewear!

Shop 4 / 240 City Walk Canberra City | Phone 6247 4748 Chandler Street (corner of Benjamin Way) Belconnen | Phone 6251 4433 6

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

OVER

$2000

IN CASH AND PRIZES TO BE WON!

BAKE Deliciously good 2.00PM – 5.00PM SATURDAY 16 NOVEMBER EQ CAFE & LOUNGE 70 KENT STREET, DEAKIN

Buyers and bakers wanted!

Deliciously good and heaps of fun! Grab those aprons and make a difference in the kitchen this SpringOUT. 2013 will be Canberra’s inaugural LGBTI charity bake off! If you don’t bake, don’t worry, because we also need lot’s of people to come along to eat and be merry.

Registration starts at 1.00pm — please bring your entries to the EQ Cafe & Lounge function room. There are over $2000 in cash and prizes to be won and it costs only $5.00 to register. Grab your entry form and see the list of BAKE categories on the FUSE website.

SOCIAL INCLUSION WEEK AT A GENDER AGENDA IT’S ALL ABOUT WE! 6.00PM SATURDAY 30 NOVEMBER ACT GENDER CENTRE, 67 EBDEN STREET, AINSLIE On the 30th of November, to celebrate Social Inclusion Week, A Gender Agenda is hosting a discussion on inter-generational issues within the Sex and Gender Diverse Community.

A Gender Agenda works with transgender, intersex and other sex and gender diverse individuals and their families to reduce social isolation and improve health and well-being outcomes.

Social Inclusion Week is an annual event which aims to help ensure all Australians are included and valued. Social Inclusion Week supports organisations such as A Gender Agenda to build networks, communities and strengthen relationships which address issues of isolation and exclusion.

We will begin the discussion by hearing from a couple of members of our youth group about their experiences of being Sex and Gender Diverse. For more information about this event email: events@genderrights.org.au

WHAT’S ON! WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING, CHECK OUT OUR ‘WHAT’S ON’ SECTION AT WWW.FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

Fabulously delicious food and drinks will be available from 2.00pm. The BAKE auction and award ceremony starts at 3.00pm.

Money raised will go to the Westlund House LGBTI counselling service and A Gender Agenda which is a not-for-profit community organisation providing support for the trans* and intersex community.

OUR KIND SPONSORS...

CHECK OUT OUR

SPRINGOUT FRIDAY 8 – SUNDAY 24 NOVEMBER 2013

HANGUPS More information & event details: fusemagazine.com.au

SPRINGOUT FESTIVAL GUIDE P17

Canberra Pride presents SpringOUT, a celebration of Queer culture in the Canberra Region. Topped and tailed by signature events Fairday and Bushdance, the two week festival is crammed with events for all ages to meet, watch, learn, flirt, cook, dance, swim, listen, discuss, network, sing, inquire, eat, drink and soak in the best of the ACT’s queer culture. See this years full festival guide on p17.

WHAT’SON

7

ROUND UP) CONFUSED TRADIES

GROUND-BREAKING MARRIAGE LEGISLATION On Tuesday 22 October, the ACT became the first jurisdiction in Australia to pass laws legalising same-sex marriages. The new Bill will allow couples of the same legal gender to marry in the ACT. Council Chair of the ACT LGBTIQ Advisory Council, Heidi Yates, said in a press release “The Marriage Bill is a crucial step towards ensuring that all couples, regardless of gender, can declare their life-long commitment to one another in front of family and friends. The ACT has come through on its promise to pursue marriage equity, a ground-breaking achievement in Australian legal history.”

She also commented that the Council remained disappointed that the Bill was amended at late notice to limit recognition to couples of the same legal gender, rather than all persons who cannot marry under the federal Marriage Act. In the Council’s view, no-one should be discriminated against because of their sexuality, their gender identity or because they are intersex.

Ms Yates said the council felt that the original drafting of the Bill was inclusive of all persons who could not marry under the federal Marriage Act. In response to expert legal opinion, the Government amended the Bill to give it the best chance of success in a likely constitutional challenge in the High Court. “The Council said they will be calling on the ACT Government to fulfil its promise to expand the scope of the legislation, if upheld in the High Court” said Ms Yates.

The High Court has indicated a challenge against the ACT’s same-sex marriage laws by the Federal Government may not be heard before early December.

The Prime Minister, Tony Abbott warned anyone planning to marry under the new laws to wait for the High Court to rule whether the legislation is valid.

Mr Abbott’s openly gay sister Christine Forster is among thousands of Australians anxiously awaiting the court outcome, telling new outlets, “... we want to get married. It is a big deal for us.”

“It was a historic day when the ACT passed these laws to allow same-sex marriages in Canberra. That is a great thing and it is part of our journey as a country and as a society towards this ultimate goal, which hopefully will end up having real marriage equality for everyone.”

8

NEWS&POLITICS

How do they come up with this stuff?

A press release from the Australian Christian group FamilyVoice has claimed that the ACT’s same-sex marriage law might confuse tradies. Ros Phillips, FamilyVoice’s “Research Officer” said in the release, “As any tradie can tell you, marriage has always been a joining of two opposites. You cannot properly unite two of the same. By definition, marriage is a complementary, male-female union.

Only that union has the potential to create and raise children with both male and female role models” “Let’s not confuse apprentice electricians, plumbers and carpenters in the ACT – lest the lights go out, the drains leak and the chairs collapse in the Legislative Assembly!”

We think it’s pretty funny that Ross is the “Research Officer”— Damn.

‘‘

I love that the size of my ass is trending worldwide!

British 80’s pop star and renounced DJ, Boy George shocked fans when he posted a ‘thin’ photo of himself on Twitter, which showed off his very impressive weight loss. Look our for the release of his new album — it’s been eighteen years since his last — This Is What I Do. FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

ADD IT UP 10%

The rate of which newly diagnosed HIV infections in Australia has risen in the last 12 months, it’s the largest increase in 20 years.

38

At 38 teaspoons per day, the Australian daily sugar intake is around double the world’s average. We also rank fifth in the world for obesity among adults.

54%

The amount of people that answered ‘Less Happy’ when Mccrindle Research asked — Overall how happy do you think Australians are compared with five years ago.

7.693 out of 10

According to the 2013 World Happiness Report, Denmark is the happiest country in the world with a rating of 7.693 out of 10.

Interesting all the top 5 countries have legalised same-sex marriage.

THE RIGHT GUY

QLIFE FOR LIFE

Hunger Games Star Josh Hutcherson say’s the right guy could turn him. Talking in a candid interview with Out Magazine, it got all very personal when it came to his sexuality. Hutcherson, who Jennifer Lawrence has joked is “in love” with their Hunger Games co-star, Sam Claflin, said.

“Maybe I could say right now I’m 100% straight. But who knows? In a f**king year, I could meet a guy and be like, Whoa, I’m attracted to this person.”

QLife, which is a new initiative of the Department of Health and Aging’s Teleweb project, is Australia’s first national — and much needed — counselling and referral service for people of diverse sex, genders and sexualities. The project will provide nation-wide, early intervention, peer supported telephone and web based services to support Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) people of all ages experiencing poor mental health, psychological distress, social isolation, discrimination, and/or other social determinants that impact on their health and wellbeing.

“I’ve met guys all the time that I’m like, Damn, that’s a good-looking guy, you know?” he added. “I’ve never been, like, Oh, I want to kiss that guy. I really love women. But I think defining yourself as 100% anything is kind of near-sighted and close-minded.”

Josh has even come up with the perfect Hunger Games love triangle, suggesting that the characters played by him (Peeta), Jennifer Lawrence (Katniss) and Liam Hemsworth (Gale) should have a threesome to solve their romance problem.

The 20-year-old’s comments might not come as such a surprise to those who know him as an ally to the LGBTI community. Last year, Hutcherson told E! about his two gay uncles, who died of AIDS. He said his mother is an advocate for the LGBTI community and he has decided to use his celebrity to do the same, which earned him GLAAD’s esteemed Vanguard Award in 2012.

NEW HIV FIGURES The Kirby Institute’s Australia Annual Surveillance Report has reviled that over the past four years, two-thirds (67%) of new HIV diagnoses have occurred among men who have sex with men, 25% were attributed to heterosexual contact and 2% to injecting drug use.

QLife’s will enable our communities to work towards our own better health outcomes by providing a place to talk about mental health, relationships, isolation, coming out and a whole host of other concerns. The say their calls are as diverse as our communities!

Central to the service is a commitment to maintain and strengthen the proud history of LGBTI phone counselling across Australia. Being able to connect via the telephone to a professional counsellor who will understand what it is like to be a queer person has always, and will always be, an important contributor towards better mental health for LGBTI Australians. Beyond the telephone, being able to access such support via web chat and internet forum interaction provides flexible and friendly access for people who prefer more anonymous interactions or for whom the phone is impractical.

QLife is directed by the LGBTI Health Alliance in collaboration with Australia’s already existing state-based Gay and Lesbian counselling organisations.

Check out their website at: qlife.org.au or call 1800 184 527, you can also email them at ask@qlife.org.au NEWS&POLITICS

9

10

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

By Andrew Barr ACT Deputy Chief Minister

HISTORIC MOMENT FOR THE ACT AND EQUALITY Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.

The words of Martin Luther King junior serve as a reminder of the struggle for inclusion and acceptance, and inspire us in this 21st century civil rights movement.

The struggle of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex Australians for equality continues. Much has been achieved in the past decade. Much of it delivered by Labor governments — nationally and in the states and territories. All of it opposed by conservatives — sometimes even in the highest court in the land.

The ACT Government believes all loving, committed relationships between two consenting adults should be legally recognised, treated equally and be celebrated. These values underpin our marriage equality legislation.

We are not deterred by threats from the Abbott Government.

We understand that legislative change alone does not change a society.

We are making a clear statement about the sort of society we want to live in though. If I might borrow a phrase at this point: “A certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all … But it’s a damn good place to start.” Like the equality bills that have come before, this reform will contribute to the transformation of Canberra. It marks another important step in our journey to become the most LGBTI friendly city in Australia. Whether it’s “the rainbow territory” or the “city of love”, it’s an important journey for us. Good governments lead on important social issues. Over the past decade, the passage of the ACT Labor’s numerous equality bills have made a huge difference to the lives of thousands of Canberrans who previously lived as second-class citizens in their own city.

These reforms have also been important for families. The family is the basic unit in our society, but family can take many forms. Labor’s equality reforms are pro-family. They strengthen family. They strengthen relationships.

What is anti-family is the arrogant declaration that family and marriage are closed, narrowly defined and exclusive institutions. And that they are on such shaky ground that enlarging the concept could see the whole thing fall apart.

That is what diminishes these institutions.

There is simply no evidence that allowing same-sex couples to marry weakens the institution of marriage — the experience elsewhere in the world shows the exact opposite. Discrimination of this kind has no place in any modern society.

The Marriage Equality Act removes a form of discrimination that is intensely felt. It will also help ensure that same-sex couples receive the dignity and respect to which they are entitled.

The legislation continues the tradition of nationleading reforms from the ACT government.

Reforms that impact positively on the lives of thousands of Canberrans living in same-sex relationships, on parents who want their children to live happy, productive and healthy lives without having to experience fear, hate and discrimination and on brothers and sisters who have seen their siblings struggle with the unfairness of discriminatory laws, and who have felt guilty about the unequal treatment that society dishes out.

The sacrifice, suffering, and struggle — and the tireless exertions and passionate concern of gay and lesbian Canberrans and their parents and families – has found a voice and a champion in the ACT Government.

I wish those couples who choose to formalise their relationships under this law, long and happy lives together. Hundreds of couples from within the Territory and thousands from outside have already indicated their intention to get married in Canberra providing a multi-million dollar boost to our local economy. I know that their commitment will be recognised, celebrated and embraced by the vast majority of their fellow Australians.

FUSEOP.ED

11

By Elizabeth Gorrell

YOGA The word yoga is derived from the Sanskrit word ‘yuj’, which means ‘to unify’ or ‘to yoke’.

Happiness Asana

IN THE NEARLY FIVE THOUSAND YEARS SINCE ITS BIRTH, YOGA HAS BEEN SERVING AS A POSITIVE INFLUENCE IN THE LIVES OF COUNTLESS PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD.

In the last century, yoga, in its many forms, has made its way into mainstream western culture as an accepted physical practice which encourages strength, flexibility and balance.

There will be many who will tell you that practicing yoga on a regular basis will make you happy. The physical benefits of the practice are undeniable, as are the benefits of any physical activity; endorphins will flow, lung capacity will increase and sleep will improve. But the truth is, the physical practice of yoga will not make you happy. As one of the great yogis that I have had the pleasure of working with once told me: “if you’re here because you think getting to headstand will make you happy, you’re in the wrong place.”

When I first began my yoga journey, I may have been the least likely person in the room to see yoga as more than just a physical exercise. I was what we call an “A-typer”, a person with an A-type, competitive personality that had come to the practice because I had heard that I could increase my flexibility and strength, and maybe lose some weight. As I came to child’s pose for the first time, I struggled not to giggle at the yoga teacher’s words as she used phrases like “open your heart to the universe.”

12

FUSEFEATURE

I pushed myself, hard, and I was constantly striving to be the best in the class at one pose or the other. I didn’t talk to anyone in the class; I was an island on my mat, completely focused on achieving something new at each session.

When I signed up for my first fifteen day challenge I had no idea that fifteen days of yoga would show me a way into community, bring me to tears of joy and pain and help me begin my journey to trusting others and accepting myself.

In those fifteen days, I learned that the physical practice of yoga was not what was helping find these things in myself; it was the philosophy and meditation that my mat gave me the freedom to explore that was leading me to something much more valuable than momentary happiness.

The philosophy of yoga is centred on the practice of contentment, and finding your way to the knowledge that whatever you are in any one moment is completely perfect.

My yoga teachers explained to me that yoga had begun when gurus of the past found their bodies wasting away as they sat for hours, days at a time meditating. The breath that we use in the practice, called ujjayi breath, stems directly from that ancient practice of meditation, and the physical poses that we find ourselves in are only a mechanism for clearing the mind and coming back to the body as a source of contentment and comfort.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

The number of Western scientific and social studies that focus on benefits of yoga are ever increasing, and nearly all government health departments and many health insurance companies recommend yoga as an excellent way to improve physical fitness and manage illnesses, such as depression and anxiety.

As a long time depression sufferer myself, I can vouch for yoga as a tool for overcoming some of the more acute symptoms of mental illness, but where other forms of physical activity had help me forget the negative self-talk that circled through my head for an hour or two, yoga and the philosophy of yoga have taught me how to simply sit with my feelings, to examine them and to no longer be afraid of treating myself with some compassion. And, while the scientific study of wellness is quite legitimate and its findings on the effect of yoga on endorphin levels cannot be ignored, I find that the greatest alleviation to my depression has not been rising dopamine counts, but a simple phrase a teacher uttered once, without realising how much it would change my life: “you are not your thoughts”. To release yourself from thoughts, to relieve yourself of the need to justify your every movement is a beautiful thing, and to find a quiet place in your mind which otherwise had been filled with harrowing thoughts and negative feelings has a direct impact on the way in which a person with mental illness copes with their symptoms. Again, I found that while the physical practice of yoga may lift my mood for an hour or so a day, the philosophies and teachings of contentment and mindfulness are where I found the greatest turnaround in terms of my depression.

THE ASANAS OR YOGA POSTURES Each yoga posture, or asana, is held for a period of time and linked with breathing. Generally, a yoga session begins with gentle asanas and works up to more vigorous or challenging postures. A full yoga session should work every part of your body and should include pranayama (breath practices), relaxation and meditation.

The different postures or asanas include: • Lying postures • Sitting postures • Standing postures • Inverted, or upside-down postures The times at which I have experienced some sort of revelation during yoga have not been when I achieved a perfect balance, or slipped in to a pose I did not think I could do, it was when I allowed myself to come back to child’s pose, and accept that today may not be the day for my body to do exactly what my ego desperately wanted it to do. To watch great yogis like Baron Baptiste, or even people in my class, achieve weightlessness through their poses still fills me with great envy, but I am now equipped with some tools that help me to gain perspective about what is important; and it’s not the pose.

This practice of self-compassion is something that can lead to great contentment; it is in those moments when you are gentle with yourself that you’re acknowledging that you deserve gentleness. Yoga is not a physical practice you can ‘win’ at, and removing the reward that may come with other forms of physical achievements is liberating.

The other benefit of yoga that you may not read about in a weekly woman’s magazine is the sense of community, which I personally had been lacking for quite some time. In Western culture, it is increasingly easy to become isolated and mistrusting. For me, yoga discouraged my tendency to shy away from talking to people I did not know, or sharing things with people I had only just met. When you choose to exist in a community of others who share the same philosophy your tendency to judge will start to wane, which will in turn lead you to see that no-one who shares the practice with you harbours any desire to judge you. To free yourself from judgement (of yourself, and of others) is extremely difficult, but the practice of yoga can lead you there through positive thought in meditation, rather than competition.

One of the yoga teachers who leads ASANAS me in my practice takes great The practice of pleasure in breaking down the yoga asanas develops walls that we build in our daily strength and flexibility, lives. She likes to remind us while soothing your nerves that when you come to your and calming your mind. The mat, you are no longer in a asanas affect the muscles, joints cubicle or sitting at the other and skin, and the whole body end of an email from some — glands, nerves, internal unknown superior; when you organs, bones, respiration come to your mat you are and the brain. The physical experiencing your humanity. building blocks of yoga As such, one of her favourite are the posture and exercises is to have us turn to the breath. someone we do not know, and ask us to look into that person’s eyes for thirty seconds. Is it uncomfortable?

Yes? Is it liberating? Definitely.

The safety that you come to feel on your mat allows you to connect with another person for longer, and in a more meaningful way than you may have done all day, and I find it’s akin to hitting reboot after a long day of avoiding eye contact and avoiding building meaningful relationships.

In those moments, you cannot lie to yourself, or to the other person and it soon becomes an enjoyable exercise in which you make a YOGA & PILATES metaphysical agreement with that person Ever wondered what the to help carry their burden as they will difference is between yoga and carry yours. pilates? In essence, yoga ia an ancient mind-body system of I also want to talk about my favourite wellbeing that ultimately aims part of any given yoga practice; and that to still the mind. Pilates is a is when I fall. I don’t necessarily enjoy series of exercises aimed at getting a face full of carpet when strengthening the core.

I topple out of crow, or sporting a bruise on my forehead when • I overbalance in Gorilla pose.

>

FUSEFEATURE

13

What I do enjoy is my teacher’s reaction when he or she hears the tell-tale ‘thump’: “I love the sound of falling; it’s the sound of courage!” When I first heard this phrase, as I struggled red-faced off the floor, what I previously felt to be failure became a source of triumph! There is a not a yogi in the world who has not fallen, and will not continue to fall during their practice, but the courage to keep falling and not be afraid of the judgment your ego puts upon you is what makes them great. Yoga has taught me that courage does not come from being stoic, and bravery does not comes from ignoring the pain that your body feeds back to you when you push yourself too hard. Courage comes from self-awareness and the ability to laugh when you fall and back off when you hurt. Bravery comes from trying what may seem like an impossible pose with the knowledge that you may not achieve it today.

One wonders how many doping scandals there would be amongst professional athletes had they supplemented their training with meditation and the practice of self-compassion!

If you have skipped over the bulk of the article, dismissing it as hippy-dippy nonsense (as I once would have) I urge you to take one thing from what I have learnt: if you go to yoga, don’t go because you hate the way you look, don’t go because you’re looking to build the upper body strength you’ve always wanted but couldn’t quite achieve. Go to yoga when you’re ready to experience something different, and you’re ready to find contentment.

CITTA VRITTI NIRODHAH The ultimate goal of yoga is Citta Vritti Nirodhah: Cessation of the fluctuations of the mind.

This one Sutra holds the key to all yoga practice. ‘If you can control the fluctuations of the mind you will experience yoga’.

14

FUSEFEATURE

HEALTH BENEFITS OF YOGA The practice of yoga asanas develops strength and flexibility, while soothing your nerves and calming your mind. The asanas affect the muscles, joints and skin, and the whole body — glands, nerves, internal organs, bones, respiration and the brain. The physical building blocks of yoga are the posture and the breath.

Health benefits of yoga include: Cardiovascular system (heart and arteries) Asanas are isometric, which means they rely on holding muscle tension for a short period of time. This improves cardiovascular fitness and circulation. Studies show that regular yoga practice may help normalise blood pressure.

Digestive system Improved blood circulation and the massaging effect of surrounding muscles speeds up a sluggish digestion.

Musculoskeletal Joints are moved through their full range of motion, which encourages mobility and eases pressure. The gentle stretching releases muscle and joint tension, stiffness and also increases flexibility. Maintaining many of the asanas encourages strength and endurance. Weight-bearing asanas may help prevent osteoporosis, and may also help people already diagnosed with osteoporosis (if practiced with care under the supervision of a qualified yoga teacher). Long-term benefits include reduced back pain and improved posture.

Nervous system Improved blood circulation, easing of muscle tension and the act of focusing the mind on the breath all combine to soothe the nervous system. Long-term benefits include reduced stress, anxiety and fatigue, better concentration and energy levels, and increased feelings of calm and wellbeing.

NON JUDGEMENT The physical postures in yoga take us into our bodies in a non-judgemental way. From this neutral viewpoint, we can see huge possibility. Without being blocked by preconceived ideas of what we can or cannot do, we are free to try, to fall, to play, and to grow.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

15

A lesbian, gay, trans*, bi, intersex and everyone inbetween event!

Eat, drink and be merry on a beautiful spring morning with all your fabulous friends.

It’s on again, the FUSE SpringOUT big gay champagne breakfast at Tilley’s.

SUNDAY 10 NOVEMBER @ 10AM

SERVING YOU BREAKFAST, LUNCH & DINNER 7 DAYS THE CALL IS YOURS! TILLEY’S CAN DO IT FOR YOU! Monday to Saturday 9am –10pm Sundays 9am – 6pm Reserve your favourite table or booth call 6247 7753 ~ www.tilleys.com.au

CORNER OF WATTLE AND BRIGALOW STREETS, LYNEHAM 16

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

SPRINGOUT CANBERRA 2013 FESTIVAL GUIDE | FRIDAY 8 – SUNDAY 24 NOVEMBER 2013

CANBERRA PRIDE PRESENTS SPRINGOUT, A CELEBRATION OF QUEER CULTURE IN THE CANBERRA REGION. Topped and tailed by signature events Fairday and Bushdance, the two week festival is crammed with events for all ages to meet, watch, learn, flirt, cook, dance, swim, listen, discuss, network, inquire, eat, drink and soak in the best of the ACT’s queer culture. Exciting highlights of SpringOUT 2013 include:

IN CONVERSATION WITH MARK TEDESCHI Crown Prosecutor Mark Tedeschi talks about one of the least known criminal trials in Australian legal history. On July 5, 1920 Harry Crawford was charged with the murder of his wife Annie Birkett. But Harry was not, in fact, Harry. He was Eugenia Falleni, a woman who had lived as a man in Australia for over 22 years.

SALLY PLAYS A GIG ARIA award winning pianist Sally Whitwell finds personal resonance within medieval, minimalist and baroque musical traditions. The gig features music by Philip Glass, Michael Nyman, Hildegard von Bingen and others. ‘Her playing is intense, highly charged and technically assured.’

Mark Coughlan, The Australian.

QUILTBAGS : A QUEER NIGHT OF STORYTELLING Queer; Unidentified; Intersex; Lesbian; Transgender; Bisexual; Asexual; Gay; Straight QUILTBAGS is a night of stories in the city of acronyms. Join Melanie Tait, presenter of ABC Radio National’s ‘Now Hear This’ as she shares the stage with five Canberrans telling their personal ten-minute story.

Poignant, funny, tacky, inspiring or just plain silly — QUILTBAGS is spellbinding!

CLASSIC FILM A screening of Blake Edwards’ classic 1982 musical comedy film in which Julie Andrews asks, ‘You want me to be a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman?’ Sparkling amongst the diamantes and high kicks are some sharp and prophetic observations about gender perceptions, discrimination and the battle of the sexes.

We’d like to thank all our SpringOUT sponsors; FUSE Magazine, Typeyard Advertising & Design, Cube Nightclub, AIDS Action Council of the ACT and Canberra Gay and Lesbian Tennis Club for their valuable support of Queer culture in Canberra. Start marking out your diary and booking your tickets! There really is something for everyone.

We look forward to welcoming everyone to a fabulous SpringOUT 2013.

Mathew Knobel, Peter Kensey, Ben O’Reilly, Keiran Rossteuscher, Adam Stankevicius, David Sequeira ­— Canberra Pride SpringOUT committee.

We are looking to expand our committee!

If you think you’ve got what it takes to make a difference in our community contact us at: info@springout.com.au VISIT CANBERRA PRIDE ONLINE! SpringOUT.com.au & facebook.com/SpringOUT SPRINGOUT

17

SALLY PLAYS A GIG ARIA WINNING PIANIST SALLY WHITWELL PLAYS PHILIP GLASS MICHAEL NYMAN HILDEGARD VON BINGEN AND MORE WESLEY MUSIC CENTRE NATIONAL CIRCUIT, FORREST TUESDAY 19 NOVEMBER 7.30PM TICKETS $30 / $25 www.trybooking.com/65503 AND AT THE DOOR

18

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

SPRINGOUT CANBERRA 2013 FESTIVAL GUIDE |

FRIDAY 8 – SUNDAY 24 NOVEMBER 2013

More p16

MICHAEL CORMICK LIVE!

SPRINGOUT FAIRDAY

BIG GAY CHAMPAGNE BREAKFAST

Michael Cormick, star of Phantom of the Opera returns to Canberra to perform highlights from his favourite musicals.

Set in the leafy and shaded grounds of Westlund House, colourful stalls, musicians, artists and fabulous food stands are spread around the green lawns of this hub for Canberra’s queer community. SpringOUT Fairday is a chance to have a picnic, meet with the locals, connect with the community and learn more about the large range of queer activities available in Canberra.

It’s on again, the FUSE SpringOUT big gay champagne breakfast at Tilley’s. A LGBTI and everyone in-between event! Eat, drink and be merry on a beautiful spring morning with all your fabulous friends.

Dates:

Time: Venue: Address: Cost:

Tickets: Info:

Friday 8 November Saturday 9 November Dinner 6.30pm / Show 8.30pm Teatro Vivaldi Restaurant ANU Arts Centre Prices from $40 (show only) $70 (dinner & show) 02 6257 2718 vivaldirestaurant.com.aug

There is always plenty of wonderful entertainment throughout the day, live bands, the gay & lesbian Qwire, drag shows and more for you to enjoy. Plus don’t forget the fabulous pet parade!

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Cost:

Saturday 9 November 12.00pm – 5.00pm Westlund House 16 Gordon Street, Acton Free

BURLESQUE WORKSHOP SPRINGOUT LAUNCH PARTY We welcome you to come and celebrate with us at the official launch party at CUBE nightclub. With the hottest music and hand picked DJ’s you’ll be rocking out all night. This event will be the beginning of what is going to be a massive year for the Canberra 2013 SpringOUT Festival.

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

Friday 8 November 9.00pm – 4.00am Cube Nightclub 33 Petrie Plaza, Civic $10

Release your inner “Von Teese”! Learn how to bump, grind, shimmy and tassle twirl the set of pasties you make in the workshop with the amazing Miss Kitka from the House of Burlesque.

Date: Saturday 9 November Time: 1.00pm – 2.30pm Venue: Westlund House Address: 16 Gordon Street, Acton Tickets: $40 Full

$35 Concession

$30 Event holder members Bookings: kitka@misskitka.com.au

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

Sunday 10 November 10.00am onwards Tilley’s Devine Café Gallery Cnr Wattle Street, Lyneham Buy your own breakfast

AN ALTERNATIVE GAZE Tour of the National Gallery of Australia.

Artist and curator Dr David Sequeira leads a guided tour of the LGBTQI highlights of the National Gallery of Australia’s collection.

Date: Sunday 10 November Time: 2.00pm Venue: National Gallery of Australia Address: Parkes Place, Parkes Bookings: trybooking.com/DSXI Tickets: Free

LET’S GET TRIVIAL Capital Queers are hosting a fabulous and fun trivia night. Heaps of prizes, lot’s of laughs and an overall good night!

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets: Info:

Sunday 10 November 7.30pm onwards Hellenic Club in the City 13 Moore St, Canberra City $200 for tables of 10 CapitalQueers.com SPRINGOUT

19

RAINBOW STORYTIME

TUESDAY 12 NOVEMBER, 7.30PM ARC CINEMA McCOY CIRCUIT, ACTON TICKETS: $10 BOOKINGS: 6248 2000 AND AT THE DOOR

SATURDAY 16 NOVEMBER, 11.00AM FREE EVENT - DICKSON LIBRARY GUEST READER: YVETTE BERRY MLA

IN CONVERSATION WITH

MARK TEDESCHI QC AUTHOR OF

EUGENIA A QUEER NIGHT OF STORYTELLING

HOSTED BY MELANIE TAIT

THURSDAY 21 NOVEMBER, 7.00PM SMITHS ALTERNATIVE BOOKSHOP 76 ALINGA STREET, CIVIC PH: 6247 4459 TICKETS $10

20

SPRINGOUT

SATURDAY 23 NOVEMBER, 1.00PM NATIONAL FILM AND SOUND ARCHIVE THEATRETTE McCOY CIRCUIT, ACTON TICKETS: $15 - BOOKINGS RECOMMENDED PH: 6248 2000

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

SPRINGOUT CANBERRA 2013 FESTIVAL GUIDE |

CAMP CLASSIC MOVIE NIGHT : VICTOR VICTORIA

More p20

Screening of the 1982 musical comedy directed by Blake Edwards, starring Julie Andrews, Robert Preston, Lesley Anne Warren and James Garner. Victoria is a poverty-stricken soprano trying to find work in Paris in the 1930’s. With the help of a worldly-wise nightclub singer, she invents her alter-ego Victor, a female impersonator who is hired to sing at a fashionable night spot. Rated M.

FRIDAY 8 – SUNDAY 24 NOVEMBER 2013

RAINBOW STORY TIME

More p20

A children’s storytelling session about families in all shapes and sizes.

Guest story teller, Yvette Berry MLA Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

Saturday 16 November 11.00pm – 12.30pm Dickson Library Dickson shopping centre Free

FRUIT TINGLES WOMEN’S DANCE Get excited, because it’s time to dance up a storm! The totally awesome Fruit Tingles Women’s Dance Party is back!

Heaps of great entertainment including African drummers, dancers and more.

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

Saturday 16 November 2.00pm – 5.00pm EQ Cafe & Lounge 70 Kent Street, Deakin Free

AQUA HARMONY FAMILY SWIM OUT AFTERNOON An afternoon for kids 0-6 years of LGBTI families to explore and play in the water.

There will be lots of fun equipment available and a qualified swim teacher in the water to ensure a safe and fun playtime.

Whether you are a member of the LGBTI community or someone who would like to connect with the queer community, we encourage you to come along.

Thursday 14 November 7.00pm – 9.30pm The Dickson Tradies (Sponsor) 2 Badham St, Dickson Free

Bakers, please bring your entries to the EQ Cafe function room at 1.00pm for judging. $5.00 registration fee.

Saturday 16 November 7.00pm – 12.00am Majura Hall Rosevear Place Dickson $20 at the door

Come along to the special SpringOUT 2013 gathering of Canberra’s LGBTI professional community, where queer business people and public servants network and socialise.

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

Buyers & bakers needed for a deliciously fun afternoon. Make a difference by coming along to Canberra’s first LGBTI charity bake off & auction! If you don’t bake, don’t worry, because we also need lot’s of people to come along to eat and be merry.

Categories include: Best Bake, Icing, Hors d’oeuvre, Jams & Preserves, Gluten Free and Best Party Bakes.

There is over $2000 in cash and prizes to be won, so get cooking and download your entry form at: fusemagazine.com.au

Date: Tuesday 12 November Time: 7.30pm Venue: National Film & Sound Archive Address: McCoy Circuit, ACTON Tickets: $10 Bookings: 6248 2000 and at the door

OUTBIZ CANAPES & DRINKS

More p07

BAKE!

INSTAGRAM COMPETITION Get those smartphones snapping this SpringOUT and #CanberraSpringOUT we have over $200 worth of DVDs to be won.

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

Sunday 17 November 2.00pm – 6.00pm Aqua Harmony Swim School 106 Cotter Rd, Curtin FREE SPRINGOUT

21

SPRINGOUT CANBERRA 2013 FESTIVAL GUIDE |

FRIDAY 8 – SUNDAY 24 NOVEMBER 2013

GALAXY CLUB RETRO

BUSHDANCE

In the far future, a highly sexual woman is tasked with finding and stopping the evil Durand-Durand. Along the way she encounters various unusual people.

Galaxy Retro Nightclub will be playing all your favourite disco and gay club classics from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s! A night of unashamed nostalgia plus performances

by ARIA nominated singer Jasmine Rae.

Dust off your hat, polish your boots and get along to Bushdance! It is a fun night of dancing with people of all flavours.

There is a bar, BBQ and a live band to lead you through those old time bush dances.

By the end of the night you’ll have danced with everyone, caught up with old friends and made some new ones.

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

Monday 18 November 6.00pm Dendy Cinema Canberra Canberra Centre, Civic $12 at the theatre

SALLY PLAYS A GIG

More p18

ARIA award winning pianist Sally Whitwell plays a selection of her favourite pieces. Music by Philip Glass, Michael Nyman, Miriam Hyde, Cecile Chaminade, Yann Tiersen and Hildegard von Bingen Date: Tuesday 19 November Time: 7.30pm Venue: Wesley Music Centre Address: National Circuit, Forest Tickets: $30/$25 conc. at the door Bookings: trybooking.com/65503

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Cost:

Friday 22 November 9.00pm – 3.00am Galaxy Retro Nightclub Casino Canberra, City $10 after 11pm at the door

BROKE BACK MOUNT’EM

More p28 With ARIA nominated singer Jasmine Rae performing live, this will be like no other cowboy night!

Date: Time: Venue: Tickets:

Friday 22 November 9.00pm – 4.00am Cube Nightclub, Civic $10.00 free for cowboys & girls

More p20 A Queer night of storytelling. Join ABC Radio National’s Melanie Tait for an intimate night of stories from Canberra’s queer community. Honest, funny, tender and naughty QUILTBAGS is spellbinding.

Date: Thursday 21 November Time: 7.00pm Venue: Smiths Alternative Address: 76 Alinga Street, Civic Tickets: $10 Bookings: 6247 4459

GAYCRASH The big explosion Gay Guerrilla Social Event Venue to be announced on the day.

Search & like Gaycrash Canberra on FB. Date: Time: Venue:

Friday 22 November 7.00pm til late See Facebook for details

SPRINGOUT

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Cost:

Saturday 23 November 7.00pm – 1.00am Yarralumla Woolshed Cotter Road Yarralumla $30/$20 conc. at the door

BUSHDANCE AFTER PARTY Just can’t do any more crazy polkas?

Then head back to the city and over to the Cube Bushdance After Party, because it just keeps on going at Cube Nightclub.

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

QUILTBAGS

22

More p23

CULT CLASSICS : BARBARELLA

Saturday 23 November 9.00pm – 4.00am Cube Nightclub 33 Petrie Plaza, Canberra City $10 at the door

GET UP IN MY GRILL IN CONVERSATION WITH MARK TEDESCHI

More p20

Join Ben O’Reilly and renowned barrister and Crown Prosecutor Mark Tedeschi as he discusses his book about one of the most intriguing cases in Australian legal history. In the early 20th century Eugenia Falleni adopted the persona of Harry Crawford. Charged with murder, Eugenia’s life unravelled as public opinion came crashing down on her.

Date: Saturday 23 November Time: 1.00pm – 2.30pm Venue: National Film & Sound Archive Address: McCoy Circuit, Acton Cost: $15 Bookings: 6248 2000

Don’t miss Capitial Queers Bushdance Recovery BBQ and fundraiser.

Date: Time: Venue: Tickets:

Sunday 24 November 12.00pm Glebe Park, Civic $10 at venue

A VERY QUEER BIRTHDAY A Very Queer Birthday is a part of the Phoenix’s 20th Birthday week. Celebrate diversity and all things normal with music, entertainment and birthday games.

Date: Time: Venue: Address: Tickets:

Sunday 24 November 5.00pm Phoenix Pub 21 East Row, Civic $10 tickets at the door FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

Dust off your hat, polish your boots and grab those rhinestones because it’s Canberra Bushdance!

It’s a fun night of dancing with people of all flavours. There is a bar, BBQ and a live band to lead you through those dances that you might remember from primary school – like Strip the Willow, The Waves of Bondi, crazy polkas and some more genteel promenades. By the end of the night you’ll have danced with everyone, caught up with old friends, made some new ones and helped raise cash for the GLBTI community.

Have fun with your Bushdance outfit. It’s a night of singlets, jeans, twirling dresses, chaps, check shirts, rhinestones, akubras, hats and boots.

Yarralumla Woolshed, Cotter Road Saturday 23 November 2013. 7:30pm – 1:00am Tix at the door $30 full / $20 concession with card.

There is no ATM so please bring cash!

Canberra Bushdance is an R18+ event so please make sure you bring photo ID. Canberra Bushdance is a community fundraiser co-ordinated by The Canberra Gay & Lesbian Tennis Club. Media supporter FUSE Magazine

23

HAPPINESS101 Do you really know what happiness is or how happy you actually are? Everyone has varying ideas about what it is to be happy and how to get it. A lot of us have it completely wrong.

It seems we’re obsessed with ‘achieving’ happiness and current trends show that the ‘market’ demand for human goodness is growing at a phenomenal rate. It’s no surprise that since Google’s inception, searches for happiness have roughly tripled. More and more people are actively trying to figure out how to be happier and how to become more connected to other human beings and the universe. Tools, activities and information for living a life that is more compassionate, grateful and resilient in the search for happiness is at premium and more popular than ever.

Like most things worth having however, happiness actually comes for free and you can have it right now. At every moment you have the choice to be happy. The catch — it takes time to ‘un-learn’ and commitment to change. You need to be prepared to let go of unhelpful concepts like “I’ll be happy when’ and ‘I’m unhappy because’. In the end, happiness can only come from within no matter what the outside circumstances or people.

WHAT AFFECTS YOUR HAPPINESS 50% Set by your genetics The amount of happiness you experience that is set by your genetic makeup.

It’s also important to note that anything Mahatma Gandhi external that we chase cannot bring everlasting happiness — only fleeting happiness — and at some point it will let us down or actually bring more suffering. Buddhists recognise that unfailing happiness can only be found internally. The goal is to stop trying to change the world around us to bring happiness, but to change our minds.

During the process it important that you be kind and gentle with yourself and keep the word patience in your mind. Allow yourself to be still, and remember that if you’re aligned with who you really are, all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place at the right time. Spend some time in silence, and listen to the voice of your intuition, which is the voice of your true self. Sometimes you won’t be able to hear that voice, so be patient. Trust that as you start to truly ‘let go’ happiness will come.

As Lao Tzu said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” So we hope this little launch pad to happiness helps you start your journey to cultivating contentment.

HAPPINESS IN AUSTRALIA HOW HAPPY DO AUSSIES THINK THEY ARE?

13% Super Happy

31% Significantly Happy

10% Due to life circumstances Income, social status, age, sexual orientation, where you live, age, etc.

24

FUSEFEATURE

33% Moderately Happy

15% Slightly Happy

8% Not Happy

n

40% Under your direct control Intentional activity. Actions you choose to do.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

BE STILL AND BE HAPPIER The average person is distracted most of the time by TV, smartphones, facebook, wondering thoughts and more. Science has found that people with a quieter and more focused mind are happier.

THE HAPPIEST CAREER CHOICE According to the 2012 Happiness Index, 87% of people working as florists or gardeners say everything is rosy!

SMILE THERAPY Smiling can make us feel better, but it’s more effective when we back it up with positive thoughts. A study led by a Michigan State University suggests that people who smile while cultivating positive thoughts, improve their mood and withdraw less.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

GREATER HAPPINESS IN 5 MINUTES A DAY Neuroscientists have discovered that even a little bit of meditation can stimulate significant increases in activity in several parts of the left prefrontal cortex — an area of the brain associated with positive emotions, such as happiness, enthusiasm, joy and self-control.

Meditators also showed a decreased level of activity in the parts of the brain related to negative emotions, such as depression, self-centeredness and a lack of happiness or satisfaction. Meditation also produces a calming effect in the amygdala, the part of the brain that acts as a trigger for fear and anger.

The peace and happiness which people access from yoga is not an accident. The mind-body connection created in yoga facilitates change at both a spiritual and a cellular level. Much of our unhappiness comes from our thoughts and feelings. We judge our experiences in terms of good or bad.

We experience feelings of inadequacy, powerlessness, embarrassment, humiliation, and we often keep track of what we don’t have more than what we do have.

When researchers interviewed more than 150 people about their recent purchases, they found that money spent on activities — such as concerts and group dinners out — brought far more pleasure and lasting happiness than material purchases like shoes, televisions, or expensive watches. Spending money on other people, called “prosocial spending,” also boosts your overall happiness.

Relieves tension in muscles and raises pain tolerance

Makes you more sexually desirable

Can help reduce depression & anxiety

Increases blood flow and sex drive by improving blood vessel function

LAUGH! A FEW GIGGLES CAN HAVE MANY BENEFITS

Daily exercise has a profound effect on our happiness and well-being and has been scientifically proven to be an effective strategy for overcoming depression.

You don’t have to be depressed to gain benefit from exercise though. Studies have found, exercise can help you to relax, increase your brain power and improve your body image... even if you don’t lose any weight.

Z

We all know that sleep helps our bodies to recover and repair from the day as well as helping us focus and be more productive. It turns out, it’s also extremely important for our general happiness.

SPEND UP ON EXPERIENCES

Makes you more open minded

Improves sleep quality and can help with insomnia

EXERCISE MORE

Yoga gently removes these weights from our minds and our bodies. Not only does it remove them, but with time it can begin to reshape our attitudes, views, and thoughts.

ZZZ Z

Boosts your brain & immune system

HAPPINESSTOOLKIT

TAKE UP YOGA

SLEEP WELL

Stimulates the release of endorphins and puts you in a positive mood

GO OUTSIDE HELP OTHERS Make yourself happier by helping others.

Scientists have found that doing a kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of anything else tested.

PRACTICE GRATITUDE Research suggests that a conscious focus on blessings has an emotional and interpersonal benefits. Gratitude increased participants’ happiness and life satisfaction.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions — The Dalai Lama

Making time to go outside on a nice day delivers a huge advantage; one study found that spending just 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved • working memory.

>

>

FUSEFEATURE

25

HAPPINESS101 PLAYING THE BLAME GAME Do you blame your un-happiness on your job, your partner, your parents, your neighbour, the weather, the government or that guy at the gym who is somehow responsible for the problems you’re having. Taking responsibility, freeing yourself of false perceptions, letting go and not needing to be right when things go wrong — or just are not working — is empowering and freeing. Here are a few tips to help stop the blame game.

1. Believe there is a lesson to be learned and consent to learn it.

Unless you’re really willing to learn the lesson, even if it feels uncomfortable, you can’t move forward. View the situation as something that can help you grow.

2. Admit that you might have helped create the problem.

Consider the possibility that you somehow contributed to your situation.

This doesn’t mean no-one else played a part; it just means perhaps you did, as well.

3. Take some alone time and review the situation — question your perceptions.

Try to view the situation from a different perspective. Get objective and look at it from someone else’s eyes. Is there another way to interpret what happened and how it all played out? Our false perceptions cause more suffering than we think.

Be really honest with yourself about your choices, actions and feelings. Are you willing to change your perspective?

4. Let go of your attachment to the problem.

Clinging to your problems will only make it worse. It’s hard to see solutions if you dwell on negative details. Letting go could come in many forms: seeing the good in the person who seems difficult, accepting a situation for what it is, or seeing the other side of the story. When we let go of our attachment to what went wrong or what should have happened we pave way for more positive results and happiness.

We are often afraid of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. Fearing is a major obstacle to being happy and free. Most people don’t know it but they are completely paralysed by their own fear. So much of our suffering is caused by fear. In fact, according to Buddhism, fear is at the very root of ego and samsara. Remember, you are not your fear, today is most precious, and fear is just stealing away your life.

STOPDOINGTHESE...

DWELLING

26

FUSEFEATURE

Your ego may think so, but really no one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or even your accomplishments. Sure, superficially other people might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial. Relationships that don’t come from the heart are not relationships that will make you happier. You’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and work on being your true authentic yourself.

CLINGING

FEARING

The past can be valuable. Learn from your mistakes, then let it go.

Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn’t know.

When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

IMPRESSING

INTERRUPTING When you interrupt someone, what you’re really saying is, “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you’re saying; I’m listening to you so I can decide what I want to say next.”

Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say and be curious. People will love you for it — and you’ll love how that makes you feel.

We cling to so many things, like old habits, comforts, food, relationships, resentment, expectations, feelings, security, beliefs, the past, the future, to unhappiness, negativity and to someday when...

We all want to be noticed, loved, appreciated and feel safe. So we attach ourselves to the needs of those feelings and thoughts and, in turn, we seek out fulfilment by clinging to external outcomes.

It’s natural. It’s innate human behaviour. We can choose otherwise, though.

Often our clinging is just to satisfy our ego — an attachment to prove to ourselves and the world that we are good enough and things are OK. Each day we are faced with a multitude of decisions, feelings and behaviours, as to whether we will choose to cling or choose to let go will contribute to your state of being.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

Love over GoLd

FrIdAY 15 Nov 8pm

Women in Docs Sat 23 NOV 8pm

BOOK

NOW

t ders st City Wes .Org.au 15 Chil et re st he .t W W 6247 1223 W

G ASKIN ELF YOURS BIG THE IONS? T S E U Q

TALK IT OUT

first ustralia’s QLife is A lling and e s n u o ide c , nation-w r Lesbian ervice fo r e d n e referral s g s n xual, Tra .

Gay, Bise TI) people B G L ( x e rs te In d n a

PHONE &

CHAT

527 1800 1R8G4 .AU QLIFE.O

27

28

OUT&ABOUT

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

♥ FREE ENTRY & HAPPY HOUR There is nowhere else you should be! Come and join us at Cube nightclub. We do free entry and happy hour every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night until 11pm.

OPENING HOURS • THURSDAY 9PM-5AM • FRIDAY 9PM-5AM • SATURDAY 10PM-5AM • SUNDAY 10PM-LATE 33 PETRIE PLAZA CIVIC, CANBERRA CITY CUBENIGHTCLUB.COM.AU

♥ HOT SUMMER NIGHTS @ CUBE As we head into a hot summer, expect some big surprises! We are taking Cube out of the club to have a mocktail lounge at this years Fairday, so don’t forget to drop on by. Cube is also heading to Newcastle to host a special party ‘Canberra style’ — see details on the Cube website. With lots of great events coming up such as, Launch into SpringOut, Broke Back Mount Em and Red Party we are well on the way for an amazing summer and this years hot Cube New Year’s Eve party.

OUT&ABOUT

29

30

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

By Rebecca Langham

Joyfully Rec4gnised There are a great number of rights held by heterosexual parents that, for time immemorial, have never been thought of as particularly special.

When my partner and I first started what I like to call “lesbian dreaming” (that is, obsessively researching sperm and/or African babies) we were daunted by the fact that most countries would not allow us to adopt. The criteria to adopt even from countries like China, where for years 98% of unwanted babies were girls, excluded us in at least three different ways. Most international agreements require that prospective parents are heterosexual and married. So, sperm it was.

Our procedure involved not much more than a syringe, a sterile cup and a willing man-friend resulting in the birth of my one year old daughter. What concerned us initially, however, was the issue of birth certificates and parental rights. Whilst my daughter’s wonderful paternal family resides in Canberra, I am a Blue Mountains girl. In 2007 we were already planning a scenario in which we would have to migrate to Canberra a month before the due date. Why? Simple. Parental rights and recognition. Before 2008, my daughter would not have legally been my daughter because I am not the person who gave birth to her. This is a scary thought. Most couples would never believe they would break up in the future; otherwise they probably wouldn’t bother having children. It does happen though.

There have been cases where women in relationships like mine have broken up and custody has become problematic. In 2012 a woman attempted to deny her ex-partner the right to speak to their son’s teachers because she wasn’t on the birth certificate, given he was born before this was possible. Ms. Rees also did not want their youngest child, who Ms. Dent birthed, to consider her as his mother. I personally can’t fathom this at all, but I’m sure that Ms. Dent never thought they’d come to such a place in their relationship either.

The good news is that the Magistrate believed that both women were important to all of the children involved and had the birth certificates amended.

You can see why we were thinking we would have to drive to the ACT for the birth of our child. Happily in 2008 NSW joined the ACT in spirit, and passed the Miscellaneous Acts Amendment (Same Sex Relationships) which meant that “same-sex and heterosexual de facto couples will be recognised equally across all NSW laws” with children like mine able to have “two legally recognised mothers.” In 2010, South Australia became the final state to pass legislation allowing for the legal recognition of samesex parents on birth certificates.

In several states you have to apply for a specialised form or complete a statutory declaration in order to register the birth of your child, which I think is ridiculous because all birth registration forms could simply say ‘Parent 1’ and ‘Parent 2’. So there is still an element of exclusion in the process at times, but knowing that no one can ever deny the fact that this child who blows raspberries when you feed her something she doesn’t want, trumps any of that frustration.

Being recognised as my daughter’s mother is a beautiful thing. On her bedroom wall we have a framed copy of her birth certificate. Her name is there. My partner’s name is there. So is mine.

Beyond Beautiful Boutique

The baby & toddler store that comes to you!

For kids 0 - 6 yeArs

At Beyond Beautiful we have a wonderful collection of children’s shoes, clothing and accessories — brought direct to you in your own home, childcare centre or school, or you can visit us at your local market.

Contact us today to arrange a BBB party with your friends or parents group, order through your local childcare or on our website.

Call Julie-Anne on 0420 560 221 beyondbeautiful.com.au facebook.com/BeyondBeautifulJulieAnne

Check out our Facebook page to find out which local market we’ll be visiting next!

FUSEOP.ED

31

moneymechanics. bringing together technical expertise and the human touch to create a solution tailored towards your overall goals.

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

Estate planning CALL Cash flow management TODAY! Wealth creation strategies FIND OUT HOW Salary sacrificing strategies WE CAN HELP Direct share portfolio creation GET YOU ON Budgeting tools & accountability THE RIGHT TRACK Self managed (DIY) super strategies Ethical investment portfolio creation Property investment advice & analysis Public sector super maximisation strategies Debt management & reduction strategies Risk management planning & insurances Structuring assets for best tax outcomes

Money Mechanics is licensed to provide Financial Services Advice through PATRON Financial Advice. ABN 32 307 788 137 AFSL No 307379

creating wealth through understanding 32

Call 02 6257 5557

money-mechanics.com.au • advice@money-mechanics.com.au

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

THE PURSUIT OF FINANCIAL CONTENTMENT

By Scott Malcolm Director of Money Mechanics

Many of the clients we work with are looking to achieve financial freedom. Having enough money to sustain a comfortable lifestyle which allows you to choose if, and when, you work in paid employment is a wonderful goal to aspire to. However, until you are able to be free around money and your relationship with money it is hard to achieve true financial freedom.

Money can be something that directly relates to our happiness in life, in the words of USA author and speaker Zig Ziglar “Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the ‘gotta have it’ scale”.

If you have had a bad experience in the past with money, or currently feel unable to do well with it, it will directly impact on how you interact with it on a daily basis. For instance, if you feel undeserving or inadequate around money, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy and guess what? It will generally occur! If, on the other hand, you are in a mindset of financial abundance then this can attract more of that good energy you need to achieve positive outcomes in life and can also result in you feeling happier overall.

If you are feeling a little financially sad or depressed and want to have a higher level of financial happiness, you need to start with your past experiences with money and any negative or painful emotions that you may be carrying around from day to day. If you can be aware of these thoughts, feeling or emotions when it comes to money then you can aim to reinvent your money stories and habits. As the Dalai Lama said in his approach to achieving happiness: Identify and cultivate positive mental states; identify and eliminate negative mental states.

As human beings we all have basic physical needs for food, clothing, shelter but once these basic needs are met we don’t need more money, greater success or fame, the ideal body or the perfect partner to achieve happiness.

This brings me to the second element to financial happiness which is learning to live without what I like to call ‘chronic not enough-ness!’

Once you have reached your base cost of living requirement everything else you have or spend money on, will not hugely increase your level of happiness and can often put more stress on you.

Think about a time when you felt totally content with life and happy, my guess is that this moment wasn’t about having more stuff, working harder or rebalancing your investment portfolio. Continually wanting other stuff or things that are not base needs in life can result in high levels of debt which are not backed up by assets or, money which is earned being spent as quickly as it comes in which can have major impacts on medium and longer term goals. The more stuff may give you an immediate rush, but it will not provide sustained financial happiness.

If you need assistance in exploring these topics further talk to a professional. Most importantly, start your journey to being free around your money and creating wealth with awareness.

SCOTTY’S LOOSE CHANGE Give generously to create a better world Your own financial security depends far more than you may think on the financial, physical and spiritual health of others in your community, our nation and our world. When you share your good fortune by donating your money, time and talent to charity, you help create a stronger economy and a healthier, safer world.

If would like to ask Scott any questions, you can email him at scott@money-mechanics.com.au or call 02 6257 5557. (http://money-mechanics.com.au) Scott Malcolm is Director of Money Mechanics who are authorised to provide financial advice through PATRON Financial Advice AFSL 307379.

The information provided in this article is of a general nature only. It has been prepared without taking into account your objectives, financial situation or needs.

Before acting on this information you should consider its appropriateness having regard to your own objectives, financial situation and needs.

MONEYSHOT

33

This SpringOUT, take control of your health!

Getting a sexual health check-up from STRIP is quick, easy and FREE!

Thursday evenings Saturday mornings (men only) Upstairs @ The Ranch 6:00 - 8:00 pm 31 Oct - 28 Nov

(for everyone) Westlund House 10:00 am - 12:00 pm 2 Nov - 23 Nov

No appointments necessary • Allow 20 - 40 minutes for cunsultation

RIP STSexual

For more information call 02 6257 2855 or visit www.aidsaction.org.au/strip

health check-ups

ACT

34

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

By Bebe Backhouse

EAR CANDY JACKO LIVES ON

Just recently I went to see the new Cirque du Soleil show, ‘Immortal’, based on the life and music of Michael Jackson. There’s no question at all that two icons of the entertainment business came together that night in a full force collision of talent. Cirque du Soleil is a legendary creative force of our time who continue with each show to push the boundaries of live entertainment as an art form. The present Australian leg of their world tour continues in this tradition in spectacular style. From the high octane and stylish opening to the powerhouse mega-mix that closes the show, Immortal barely pauses for breath. Fuelled by the fire of some of the most recognisable songs of all time and the incredible voice of MJ, Cirque have created a brilliant concert extravaganza that honours an international entertainment industry icon and is bold enough to take the first step towards cementing his legacy as an artist and a humanitarian.

Immortal is the kind of evening of performance that lingers in the mind. The performances given for “Thriller” and “Dangerous”, “Smooth Criminal” and “They Don’t Care About Us” are memories that will linger in the minds of anyone who loves Michael Jackson, Cirque du Soleil or just an incredible show. Part concert, part fantasia, part honorarium, Immortal is an unmissable event and, in its own way, a work of art.

CHER ‘ALSO’ LIVES ON & ON...

Cher apparently loves making people jealous.

The 67-year-old singer is showing no signs of slowing down and released her latest album Closer to the Truth in September. She enjoys her youthful looks and attracting some green eyed glances from others. “I love showing off my body, because I’m very proud of it,” she said recently. “Instead of being embarrassed and hiding away, I’ve always picked outfits that show it off and prove that I’m a strong, sexy woman. That’s what I’ve got going for me and I’m obviously going to use that. All that aside, it’s great to get admiring glances and even some looks of jealousy.” Cher is still even wearing her famous glittery bodysuit, recently appearing on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”. Snaps to Cher for having that attitude, but maybe time she slowed down a bit.

S

KATY PERRY PRISM Katy Perry’s new album is set to pick up where her last left off.

In fact, it doesn’t seem as if she’s strayed very far from her Teenage Dream formula, at least sonically (and really, why would she?). Like she told MTV News, there’s really no darkness on Prism. Instead, the new songs are voluminous, playful, packed with hooks and brimming with studio shine. “Birthday” is an upbeat jam that features her cooing “let me get you in your birthday suit.” The roller-skating jam “Walking On Air” — she actually wrote it after watching skaters in Central Park — pumps and struts, and “This Is How We Do” is a cocksure, club-ready banger. In short, like Teenage Dream, the party starters are definitely not lacking on this album. If there is a difference this time out, it’s Perry’s newfound maturity. It’s not boring or brooding; it’s worldly, carrying an almost refined quality.

S

MILEY CYRUS BANGERZ As you would probably expect, critics keep finding new and interesting ways to weave Miley’s very public persona into their reviews of her record, though several have also used that space to praise the production work on Bangerz, its personal subject matter and effortless blending of hip-hop and pop. The album is the onetime Disney star’s fourth studio album, but her first as the master of her own destiny and — with two lead singles already landing at No.2 and No.1 — a pacesetter in music. It’s also utterly fresh, a pop blitz from a hip-hop blueprint, and proof that Miley won’t settle for just shocking us. With pumping standout tracks such as ‘SMS’, ‘4x4’ and ‘Maybe You’re Right’ as well as vocal collaborations with Britney Spears and Nelly (among others) the album proves to be a bold manoeuvre in her public reinvention; she’s obviously infatuated right now with hip-hop and its perpetual drive for new and exotic sounds.

Bangerz may be about breaking up and wilding out, but it also agitates for the future.

MUSICNEWS&REVIEWS

35

CHRIS BROWN Chris Brown has got into a Twitter argument with showbiz blogger Perez Hilton. The war of words came after Perez tweeted to his followers that he’ll be dishing the gossip on Chris on the Wendy Williams Show. The news that he would be the subject of a television discussion didn’t sit well with the ‘Don’t Wake Me Up’ singer.

“I hope @ChrisBrown doesn’t watch! I’m talking about him on the @WendyWilliams show today and I’m going in!!!” Perez wrote to his 6.1 million followers.

SINEAD O’CONNOR Irish singer-songwriter Sinead O’Connor has once again taken Miley Cyrus to task after statements she made during her interview with Matt Lauer. Sinead is upset that Miley has made light of mental illness and has pointed out to the popstar that the demographic of her fanbase is the biggest group at risk.

“I’m not sure if you are aware that in your own country 7 out of every 100,000 people between the ages of 15 and 19 commit suicide every year,” she said in a letter today posted on Facebook. “The third highest cause of death for those in that age range (this is the age range you stated on Matt’s show ‘most of’ your fans are) or that on average one person in your country dies by suicide every 16.2 minutes”.

Sinead says that Miley’s reaction to the criticism is now her biggest problem.

Chris quickly took to his Twitter account to retaliate and vent his frustrations. With over double the followers that Perez has, Chris got his message out to more than 13.1 million fans. “Thanks for the publicity. Your insecurities are manifested by your hatred.

Princess Perez and wicked witch Wendy (sic). can’t take advice from 2 buff chicks when one can’t stand to look at herself without plastic surgery and the other is forever on his period. (sic),” he ranted, making the feud more personal.

Honestly, I thought Chris Brown would have learnt to handle himself better in tough situations, given his past experiences with bad exposure in the media.

“You’ve said on Matt Lauer’s show (where you again refer to me as ‘crazy’) that you don’t understand why I have been upset with you. I find that hard to understand frankly, since you’re clearly very far from being a stupid woman.”

Sinead O’Connor’s fourth open letter to Miley Cyrus can be read in full on her Facebook page.

S

CAPITAL CITIES SAFE AND SOUND I’m not sure what there is about ‘Safe and Sound’ that would qualify it as alternative music other than the path to success followed by Capital Cities.

The song itself discreetly weds contemporary electronics with a mid-tempo pop sound that would have felt comfortable on a mid-1970s AM radio playlist. Add in irresistibly upbeat lyrics and the track is a small gem that deserves to be a hit. Lyrically it’s an optimistic song providing reassurance of enduring support. As an added bonus, a flurry of horns animates the instrumental breaks. There is an electronic foundation to this recording, but the elements built on top of that base push the electronics into the background to give the song a very human feel. We need to hear more from Capital Cities.

36

MUSICNEWS&REVIEWS

Chris has also recently offered his support to the gay rights campaign calling for action against human rights offenses in Africa.

Brown tweeted about the AllOut.org petition asking Cameroon’s President Paul Biya and other local politicians to stop anti-gay violence in the region.

The petition, which currently has more than 70,000 signatures, asks Biya to prevent attacks and discrimination, end the criminalisation of homosexuality, and free all gays who are currently incarcerated due to their sexual orientation.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

Girl2Girl is a website for lesbians and bisexual women.

Get the low-down on the down and dirty with lesbian sex 101.

Find out why you should bother with safe sex; how to use latex barriers; how to stay safe emotionally before, during and after sex; and so much more.

Check it out today!

Knowing what you want is an important step to emotional safety

Girl2Girl.info 37

N

Happiness AND HEALTH

Modern science defines happiness as the positive range of emotions which we feel when we are content or full of joy. Really it is a subjective and often dynamic state. With research on the topic soaring, investigators are devising new and unique ways to study people’s sense of well-being. While scientists attempt to quantify elements of happiness, others often believe true joy is more ethereal.

I think happiness is hard to measure, but easy to recognise.

Are happiness and health linked? We have all heard the modern cliché of ‘laughter is the best medicine’. Latest research suggests happiness and health really are connected, and that one’s level of happiness really can impact the level of one’s health.

As those who have embarked on the quest for health know quite well, a crucial milestone on the path involves taking personal responsibility.

A person who has taken

personal responsibility

recognises an all important truth: your health and your happiness depend much more on your attitude than it does on objective or external circumstances.

You are responsible for yourself, whether you like it or not. What you do with your life and what you have done already is up to you. Sure, while you may not be able to control everything that happens, you are nevertheless responsible for how you think, act, and feel in response to those things.

There may be no more impactful thing you can do for yourself than to take responsibility for your health and your happiness.

When you admit to yourself that you are solely responsible for your life, you immediately recognise how much control you really do have. Any goal you want to achieve is within your control, and external circumstances don’t control your fate. For example — looking after your sexual health is completely within your control.

You make the choice on safe sex, testing, prevention and being mindful of your behaviour.

There are all sorts of negative emotions that come with not accepting personal responsibility. When you blame others, you may feel anger or resentment towards those people.

38

HEALTH&WELLBEING

You will almost invariably feel guilty or ashamed. Although, the worst part about denying responsibility is an overall sense of powerlessness. When you feel like you don’t have control over your life, you can easily become depressed.

I wish I could say it is easy to start taking responsibility for your health and your happiness but sadly it isn’t: there are many roadblocks you need to learn to recognise.

Do you blame others when something goes wrong. Do you immediately look for some external culprit? It doesn’t really matter whose fault it is, anyways. What happened, happened.

The question now is: how are you going to respond? The response is completely in your control.

Do you make excuses when you don’t achieve your goals? Making excuses is similar to blaming others, except it involves blaming circumstances instead of people. I know when I set new goals, I often have a wide range of “backup excuses” just in case, for instance, I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t prepared, I needed more time, it was too cold.

Do you complain when something goes wrong. This will make things seem worse than they are, and can easily distract you from all the good things going on in your life. Complaining can easily become a habit, at which point you will always see things in a negative light. And your focus is on the negative aspect of your situation, rather than what you can do to change it.

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

FILL YOUR HEART WITH HAPPINESS BY TAKING

O

Personal Responsibility

You can do it by using the

the how to guide to

taking responsibility for your health and your happiness

Start by making a conscious decision to become the sole person responsible for your life, and you need to make that decision now.

But you can’t just say you’ve decided to take personal responsibility and then have it be true. Surrendering responsibility is a habit you need to remove, and here is how.

1.

Recognise your choices At any given time and in any given situation, you have a choice of how to respond. You can choose to focus on something positive, no matter how negative the situation.

From now on, look at the choices you have available to you instead of feeling constrained.

2.

Take the blame

3.

Accept yourself and your circumstances

When something goes wrong, openly acknowledge it as your fault, even if you feel there were external circumstances that contributed.

When you shift responsibility, you give up control of the situation.

Accept responsibility for who you are right now. It’s not other people who made you the way you are, but only your own thoughts and actions.

Sure, many of those thoughts and actions were conditioned in you by your family, society, friends, or any other external influence.

But it is you alone who had the thought or performed the action.

And it is you alone who must take responsibility for them.

4.

You don’t need to be happy with your situation or your life, you need to accept yourself and the fact that you are the one who got yourself there. While negative circumstances may have had a significant impact on you and you may have experienced huge amounts of social conditioning, dwelling on them or blaming others won’t help to improve your situation.

Stop relying on external validation Don’t depend on other people to feel good about yourself. If you need external validation to be happy, you surrender personal responsibility for making yourself happy.

Sure, external validation is great, and there is nothing wrong with that.

But you cannot be dependent on it for your happiness.

Taking responsibility for your health and happiness can be a very challenging and lifelong process, but it is necessary if you want to truly be happy.

By Philippa Moss AIDS Action Council Manager Support and Education

HEALTH&WELLBEING

39

HYDE PARK ON HUDSON

BEHIND THE CANDELABRA Michael Douglas is as camp-as-Christmas in his portrayal as Las Vegas showman Liberace? It shouldn’t work, yet in director Steven Soderbergh’s HBO telemovie, Douglas gives one of the best performances of his career. Excellent too, is Matt Damon as Liberace’s younger live-in lover, Scott Thorson, upon whose book the film is based; detailing the pair’s tumultuous six-year relationship in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s. Not without humour but by no means played for laughs, Behind The Candelabra examines the pitfalls of celebrity and the American dream corrupted through a prism of sex, drugs and chintzy decor.

}

potato

DID YOU KNOW? It’s possible that the first ever ‘mainstream gay movie’ was made over 90 years ago in Germany. Different From The Others was a 90 minute film centred around a famous violinist and his male student.

THE WAY WAY BACK Although it begins with his mum’s new boyfriend (Steve Carell) telling him he’s a ‘3 out of 10’, 14-yearold Duncan (Liam James) is about FUSE FEEL GOOD to have one of PICK those life-changing OF THE MONTH! summers. Escaping his mum, Pam (Toni Collette), and Trent (Carell), Duncan finds a job at the local water park and kinship with its stunted-adolescent manager, Owen (a terrific Sam Rockwell), whilst also experiencing the pangs of first love with his neighbour, Susanna (AnnaSophia Robb).

Maya Rudolph, Rob Corddry and a scene-stealing Allison Janney are part of a wonderful ensemble that make for one of the funniest and warmest films of the year.

By Dwayne Lennox

40

COUCHPOTATO

Bill Murray plays U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt in this comic-drama, directed by Roger Michel (Notting Hill), which reveals that although famously wheelchair-bound, FDR’s libido was anything but hampered. Taking place over the summer of 1939, when King George VI and his wife, Queen Elizabeth, came to visit, the events are narrated

by FDR’s cousin, Daisy (Laura Linney), who plays companion, confidant and concubine-of-sorts to the promiscuous President.

BEFORE MIDNIGHT What began in 1995 as a simple American boy-meets-French girl story has spanned eighteen years and spawned two sequels, the latter of which is Before Midnight; the crowning glory in director Richard Linklater and actors and co-writers, Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke’s ‘Before’ trilogy. Picking up nine years after Before Sunset, ‘Midnight’ sees Celine (Delpy) and Jesse (Hawke) holidaying in the Greek isles and philosophizing about life and love in their typically verbose style. Yet with two decades of pent-up regrets and resentments, things aren’t as sunny as their picturesque locale would suggest. Easily one of the best films of the year, Before Midnight is a must for fans of this series.

TINY FURNITURE Before she wowed critics and had social media in a frenzy of both support and hate with her hit HBO series Girls, Lena Dunham wrote, directed, produced and starred in this, her debut feature film. Similar thematically to Girls although less polished, Dunham plays Aura, who has just graduated from college and returns to her artist mother’s New York apartment to work out what to do next, a process not helped by a disagreeable kid sister, an uninspiring hostess job and the competing affections of two very different men. The seeds of what would become Girls are evident in this funny and awkward comedy.

You’ll find all these titles at JB HIFI, online or at all good DVD outlets. Check out fusemagazine.com.au for DVD giveaway details. Reviewed for FUSE by Dwayne Lennox — thelennoxfiles.blogspot.com.au FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

Supporting someone who is feeling suicidal

If you are thinking of suicide

Talk Avoid being alone Set yo urself small go

ey erson if th Ask the kping of suicide in are th Spend time with them Make s ongoingure they receive support

You can recognise the signs

To help those left behind

st

ou tru one y

e to som

als

www.health.act.gov.au/suicideprevention

ed Have you notic

changes?

Has someone you kno w withdrawn from act ivities?

Have thingsthey stop that t ped do in hey e njoy? g the

Be a friend Listen, keep in touch Give them time

41

AIDS ACTION COUNCIL & WESTLUND HOUSE ‘CABARET’ AT TILLEY’S DEVINE CAFE — PHOTOS BY ROSE PAPPALARDO

42

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

NORTHSIDE COMMUNITY SERVICE NOW PROUDLY AUSPICING

DIVERSITY ACT

Pantone 2758 BLUE Pantone 144 YELLOW

You may have heard that the Boards of Diversity ACT and Northside Community Service recently formalized their existing partnership, and as a result Northside is now the auspice agency for Diversity ACT. So what does Northside Community Service know about LGBTIQ specific issues and service delivery?

We’re starting fresh and learning quickly!

WHY NORTHSIDE? We have a reputation for courage in practice. We do things a little differently – we like to push the envelope and challenge the long held beliefs about what is ‘best’ for individuals and their communities. We may not be the biggest organisation in the ACT, but we are the bravest.

WHAT EXPERIENCE DOES NORTHSIDE HAVE IN WORKING WITH LGBTIQ COMMUNITY? We have a great history of partnership and collaboration with other service providers, but haven’t previously focused on working with the LGBTIQ community. Luckily, we have some fantastic organisations willing to help us ensure our existing services are respectful, relevant and accessible.

WHAT SERVICES DOES NORTHSIDE PROVIDE? We deliver a range of programs from Early Education and Care, Youth Engagement and Housing Support, through to Mental Health Support, Community Development and in-home care for the older members of our community.

You can find out more on our website. Our partnership with Diversity ACT is an opportunity to ensure all our services are supportive of LGBTIQ needs.

IS THE AUSPICE ARRANGEMENT FOREVER? No, it’s for a two year period. Throughout this time Diversity ACT will be a separate organisation, and will provide advice and direction through an Advisory Group working closely with Northside’s Leadership Team. Current membership and volunteer arrangements for Diversity ACT will be unaffected.

We are really proud to have the opportunity to strengthen our services. If you have ideas, feedback, or want to know more please visit our website: www.northside.asn.au or contact the Executive Director of Community Services, Kate Cvetanovski: kate.cvetanovski@northside.asn.au or 02 6257 2255

COURAGE

INTEGRITY

CHOICE

INNOVATION

COLLABORATION 43

Bewong River Retreat

Is now the time to commit to one another?

As your Life Celebrant I will help you make your wedding or commitment ceremony everything you ever dreamed of.

Together we’ll create that perfect day, one that is totally designed to suit and fulfil your needs.

As a Life Celebrant I can offer you suggestions but it is your choice based on what you want.

You choose the venue, the style, the size of your ceremony and the words. I will pull together a beautiful service and you will be my guides.

We offer the perfect holiday or short break in a secluded natural setting with luxurious bungalow accommodation. The perfect place for civil unions, commitment ceremonies and hopefully very soon same-sex marriages.

riverretreat.com.au Telephone 02 4443 6999

44

Contact me today and we can start planning your wonderful day.

0404 023 876 Lisajoyteasdalecelebrant@gmail.com O O

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

By Melisa Sandfort

NOV & DEC 2013

YOUR HOROSCOPE

Over the next two months the universe will be focusing on happiness, which should make for a fabulous holiday season.

Shopping for gifts and family get-togethers should go smoothly. We’re also fortunate as we have no new retrogrades during November and December, and three planets going direct — Mercury, Jupiter and Neptune — so life should be at ease for most signs. In December energies centred around enjoyment will increase and relationships between family members will be warmer. Get ready to enjoy a wonderful time of the year!

Aquarius

January 21 – February 18 The Sun will be leading your energy

by November, so in order to make the very most of it, try your best to focus on creativity and be optimistic. This is especially relevant in the work and academic area. Tip: It’s a good time to enjoy the outdoors with friends!

Taurus

April 21 – May 21 During November you’ll have some extra energy and motivation. Try to focus on taking care of your mind, body and spirit.

Go for walks more often, maybe join a gym or new sports group and mediation will be good for you too. Tip: Remember to spend more time out with loved ones.

Leo

July 23 – August 23 Expect some great energies. Remember to relax and let the Universe give you everything you need to be happy. The only thing you have to do now is enjoy your loved ones and the summer weather. Tip: Take care of your finances by November, save some money for the holidays.

Scorpio

October 24 – November 22 Mercury is going direct and that means that you will have some extra help when it comes to focusing and communicating.

You can certainly use that energy in the love area. Tip: Take some time to enjoy nature, it will definitely help you clear your head about some issues.

Pisces

February 19 – March 20

By November 13 Neptune will be going direct again and this will be especially amazing for you. Pay close attention to your heart and intuition when it comes to love and family. Tip: It will be important that during November you take good care of your health.

Gemini

May 22 – June 21 Summer is coming and with it the great energy of the Sun, so keep up-beat and optimistic and share that amazing attitude with the ones around you. Make your mind up to be happy. Tip: It is good to spend some time out with friends but try to take care of your finances.

Virgo

August 24 – September 23 New goals have been achieved and that is wonderful, so now you should focus on having some more family time and doing things you really enjoy instead of working. Tip: Someone might give you a hard time about your sexuality, do not waste your time in useless arguments.

Sagittarius

November 23 – December 22 Summer is coming and November will be a great month for you to go out and meet new people, so do it! It will also help you to relax and feel much better about life if you have been struggling.

Tip: Remember to pay your bills on time — it’s makes for an easier life.

Aries

March 21 – April 20 Good things should be happening in your work and professional life. Now is the perfect time to develop a positive attitude and show the world you have what it takes. Tip: Devotion is an important keyword when it comes to you achieving goals and making headway.

Cancer

June 22 – July 22 Jupiter is going direct, so that means that timing is important. During December, the Universe may have something amazing for you, so keep positive, especially when it comes to love. Tip: Happiness is often about attitude most of the time so always be re-evaluating your life and your work.

Libra

September 24 – October 23 November will be a good month for you to get creative in every aspect of your life, but try putting some extra energy in the love and sex area — you’ll be thrilled with the results. Tip: During December try avoiding arguments — this may be particularly important at work.

Capricorn

December 23 – January 20 Since Saturn has already been taking care of your love life these few months, you should put some extra energy in at work. Keep in mind that in order to achieve great things effort is required.

Tip: Let your guard down when it comes to well-intentioned critics.

STARGAZER

45

COMMUNITY DIRECTORY AIDS Action Council The AIDS Action Council provides information, support and services.

More info: aidsaction.org.au

PFLAG-ACT A support and friendship group for parents and friends of LGBTI people.

More info email pflag.act@gmail.com

A Gender Agenda A resource for transgender, intersex, gender queer and gender variant people. genderrights.org.au

Long Yang A friendly social club for Asian and non-Asian gays and their friends.

Canberra: lyccanberra.org Sydney: sydney.longyangclub.org

ACTQueer A free email list for LGBTI people in Canberra and surrounding region. groups.yahoo.com/group/actqueer Bit Bent Youth Group Meet other young people, get support or just hang out. Mondays at Belconnen Youth Centre 6pm–8pm and Thursdays at the Woden Youth Centre 5pm–6.30pm.

Email: bit_bent@hotmail.com Canberra Gay & Lesbian QWIRE Want to be involved with Canberra’s own gay and lesbian choir? Singers and non-singers encouraged. More info: canberraqwire@yahoo.com.au

OUTBIZ : LGBTI Business Network Connect with other like-minded people, expand your business, find new customers or suppliers, network and support the LGBTI business community.

Email: outbiz@yahoo.com.au Pink Tennis Gay & Lesbian Tennis Group meets Mondays 6pm–9pm at Turner Tennis Club, Cnr McCaughey & Condamine Sts.

Capital Queers Canberra’s Mardi Gras group.

More info at capitalqueers.com

Qnet : Queer Youth Cyberspace GLBTI people under the age of 25.

Check out qnet.org.au

Dyke Dinner & Movie Group More info on FUSE website or see Canberra Lesbians on Facebook.

Queanbeyan GLBTI Youth Support Mondays 4pm–6pm at Axis Youth Centre, Campbell Street, Queanbeyan Park.

Diversity ACT A LGBTI community and service centre, for more information call 1300 794 717 diversityact.org.au

Radio Q Canberra LGBTI community radio show on 2xx 98.3FM 2xxfm.org.au

Gay ACT Squash Group Wednesdays 6.30pm–7.30pm. National Sports Club, Mouat St, Lyneham. groups.google.com/group/gayactsquash Gaycrash Canberra Taking over the coolest Canberra straight bars one night at a time! facebook.com/gaycrash.canberra/info

46

Motafrenz GLBTIQ Car Club Contact Stuart Poole ACT Convener Motafrenz on 0420 523 238 or email act@motafrenz.org motafrenz.org.au

FUSEARTICLE

Rainbow Bubs A playgroup and support group for same sex parents and their kids.

Email: hoogied@yahoo.com Uni of Canberra LGBTI group A social group for all LGBTI students and staff. Queer Space is located at the UCSA building 1 at the Uni of Canberra.

Info email: sexuality@theucsa.org.au

✪ Come and hangout at Tilley’s Devine Café CANBERRA HANGOUTS Cube Nightclub Canberra’s premier gay nightclub venue.

33 Petrie Plaza Civic, Canberra City. cubenightclub.com.au Barcode Barcode is Canberra’s newest LGBTI venue. Yummy café by day, cool lounge come bar at night — it’s a place for everyone. 2/26 Challis St, Dickson. barcodecanberra.com.au Tilley’s Devine Cafe For over 26 years Tilley’s has been a gathering place for the gay and lesbian community. Warm and sumptuous, it’s famous for its food and fabulous coffees and cake. To reserve your favourite table or booth call us on 02 6247 7753.

Cnr of Wattle & Brigalow Sts, Lyneham.

Westlund House Westlund house is a welcoming space and community centre for the whole LGBTI community. You’ll find us at 16 Gordon Street, Acton, ACT Online at: westlundhouse.org.au Ranch Men’s Lounge Canberra’s mens’ space. They are located at Unit 19, Molongo Mall in Fyshwick ACT. A safe venue for men who want to meet men. See ad p47.

Want to know “what’s on” or be listed here, then visit us at www.fusemagazine.com.au

FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU

A Little Laser Cosmetic Laser Clinic

Jennifer Dromgold is the owner of a boutique clinic providing hair removal and skin rejuvenation with medical grade treatments at affordable prices.

Jennifer has clients ranging from gay boys & girls to people in the trans* community who need a professional that understands their needs.

OVER 10 YEARS EXPERIENCE WITH LASER TREATMENTS

For more information call 6232 6629 Located in Manuka Arcade “As somebody that supports and understands the needs of GLBTI people I’m very keen to offer my services and help individuals look and feel better.”

Trans Health Survey People Wanted Transsexual? Transgender?

Sistergirl? Genderqueer?

Researchers from Curtin University are looking for trans people to take part in an anonymous internet survey of mental health and wellbeing.

Find out more here: transoz.org Make tomorrow better.

CRICOS Provider Code 00301J CU-HS-0108/BRAND CUHS0325K Curtin University is a trademark of Curtin University of Technology

47

‘

Dear Rose, I’m desperately in love with two different woman and there is no way I can choose between them. What should I do?

JJ

Dear JJ, I am presuming neither one of these women know you are in love with each of them? In this situation I always err on the side of “honesty is the best policy”, be honest with yourself and be honest with them. Ask yourself why there is no clear “winner” between these two women? Is it you ,or is it them?

Is it that you are not ready to commit to either one of them, even though you have strong feelings?

If choosing between these two women is impossible, consider whether they may be interested in a polyamory relationship?

If that is not an option then you are best to sit down and spend some time thinking about which one you really want to be with.

I say this because chances are you are going to get caught and end up hurting, or losing both of them.

Dear Rose, I broke up with my BF after 10 difficult years because he was unsupportive, lazy, overweight and had become a total loser.

A year later he’s at the gym, looking pretty damn hot, has a job (finally), trendy new clothes and wants me back. I’m so tempted, but totally remember the hell we went through.

Can a person really change so fast?

Mike

Dear Mike, People often say “if it looks too good to be true, it probably is!” Don’t get me wrong, good on him for getting out there and doing something that is positive for himself, having been down that path myself once or twice before. After every long-term relationship break-up most people take a really good look at themselves, so the self-improvement by your ex should not surprise you. However, if you assume he has turned over a new leaf in the last twelve months after a 10 year relationship, the skeptic in me says “maybe not”.

The problem for you in this scenario is if you decide to get back together and the relationship slowly starts to wind back to where you were before, the effects for you could be even more disastrous and heartbreaking. There is nothing worse than waking up regretting yet another five years with someone the second time around. Sometimes, in relationships too many things have happened and too many things have been said to wipe the slate clean, as old resentments tend to lie deep.

By Rose Pappalardo

EMAIL DEAR ROSE WITH YOUR PROBLEM TODAY!

Dear Rose, I am an older person and am in the closet at work. Recently I have been spending time with someone and my work colleagues have noticed my mood change and have asked why. Do I tell them or keep my secret?

Finally Happy

Dear Finally Happy, Firstly, congrats on the new relationship, it always warms my heart when I hear that someone is rediscovering that thrill of finding someone special.

Coming out at work can be tricky, however if your colleagues at work care enough about you to notice your mood change then this is a positive start.

I would test the waters with someone you absolutely trust in your work place and gauge their reaction to your fabo news!

If it goes well you will start to feel more confident about your news and the reactions you may have from others.

With the good, you have to expect the negative and there may be some people who are a little distant after learning about your news. Don’t be disheartened by this, time is a wonderful thing and generally people come around.

At some point in our lives we need to “own” the things and people that are important to us. This relationship is obviously important to you and has given you a new lease on life, so I say “own” it!

No, I’ve never thought that I was gay.

And that’s not something you think.

It’s something you know.

Robert Plant Led Zeppelin

Is life just too hard? Support is available for anyone in distress by phoning (24 Hours) QLife 1800 184 527 or Lifeline on 13 11 14

ASK DEAR ROSE 48

DEARROSE

If you need help or have a question email : dearrose@fusemagazine.com.au FUSEMAGAZINE.COM.AU