Beat's Comedy Festival Guide 2012

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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‘SEE HIM AND MARVEL ...BRILLIANTLY INVENTIVE, QUIRKY STAND-UP’ THE SUN

PALAIS THEATRE

alist.com.au

rossnoble.co.uk

MON 16TH - SUN 22ND APRIL - 8PM BOOKINGS: 1300 660 013 or comedyfestival.com.au

A-LIST ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

ATHENAEUM THEATRE

28TH MARCH - 15TH APRIL

(NO MONDAYS)

TUES - SAT 7.00PM; SUN 6PM

BOOKINGS: 132 849 or comedyfestival.com.au AS SEEN ON “MTV”, “ROAD TRIP”, “FREDDY GOT FINGERED” AND HOST OF “TOM GREEN’S HOUSE TONIGHT”

TOM GREEN A-LIST ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

MTV’s funniest & most unpredictable personality returns to Australia to provide non-stop laughter with his brilliantly cracked view of the world around him.

ATHENAEUM THEATRE 3RD - 9TH APRIL

BOOKINGS: 132 849 or comedyfestival.com.au 4

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

AKMaL

BRAND NEW SHOW

A-LIST ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

“An explosion of laughter and entertainment” The Daily Telegraph

“No one wanted the show to stop... he seemed to own the stage” Sydney Morning Herald

ATHENAEUM THEATRE

28TH MARCH - 1ST APRIL & 10TH - 22ND APRIL (NO MONDAYS) BOOKINGS: 132 849 or comedyfestival.com.au

HEADSHAKINGLY MINDSHOCKINGLY INHIBITIONSHATTERINGLY OUTRAGEOUS

& LIV IN E! 3D!

A-LIST ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

TORONTO STAR

WARNING: THIS SHOW WILL CONTAIN TRACES OF O NUTS!

ATHENAEUM THEATRE

17TH – 29TH APRIL BOOKINGS: 132 849 or comedyfestival.com.au

3D g supplie lasses of the t d as part icket pr ice

Bev Killick Goes‘There’ A-LIST ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

Join the star and co-writer of Busting Out! as she puts the puppies back in the kennel and steps out for an hilarious night of stand up comedy where nothing is sacred.

PERRIER AWARD NOMINEE HERALD ANGEL WINNER TIME OUT (LONDON) COMEDY AWARD NOMINEE

+++++ CHORTLE, THREE WEEKS

“This is brilliant observational comedy.” Sunday Times NOMINEE Green Room Award for Most Innovative Cabaret Show

THE POWDER ROOM, MELBOURNE TOWN HALL 9TH AND 16TH APRIL BOOKINGS: TICKETMASTER 1300 660 013 or comedyfestival.com.au

sarah kendall persona VICTORIA HOTEL, 215 LT COLLINS ST MELBOURNE 29TH MARCH - 22ND APRIL TUE-SAT 7.15 SUN 6.15PM

BOOKINGS: TICKETMASTER 1300 660 013 or comedyfestival.com.au

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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S O L I N W L CA is

#a # #h# tack’ s a p r a

ss SUN ‘Wilson i HERALD

il r p A 1 2 29 TMuea-Sartc8.h15pm, Sun 7.15pm ne r u o b l e M l l a H n w To

011 2 T U O D SOL Dirty Work Comedy presents

Damian Callinan is

As Seen on

SPICKS & SPECKS

by Directed

Matt n Parkinso

29 March – 21 April Tuesday – Saturday 9.45pm, Sunday 8.45pm

Melbourne Town Hall

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BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

WINNER

WINNER

Best Production - Cabaret Melbourne Green Room

Best Production Montreal Fringe Festival

WINNER

WINNER

Most Outstanding Production Ottawa Fringe Festival

Best of Fest Winnipeg Fringe Festival

WINNER

Best Comedy Victoria Fringe Festival

★★★★★ ★★★★ ★★★★★ “Orgasmic rock-und-roll experience.”

Monday Magazine, Canada

“Excruciatingly funny” The Age

“Wild cabaret rock concert” Herald Sun

Dirty Work Comedy and Button Eye Productions present

CON CHO RDS , FAN S OF SPI NAL TAP AND FLI GHT OF THEITE BAN D. SAY ‘HA LLO !’ TO YOU R NEW FAV OUR

10 S H O W S O N LY ! tue – sat 10pm sun 9pm 29 MARCH – 8 APRIL THE FAMOUS SPIEGELTENT, THE ARTS CENTRE MELBOURNE book at the box office, online or call 1300 182 183

DIEROTENPUNKTE.COM

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

Photo: Andrew Wuttke.

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CONTENTS Page 10 Page 12 Page 16 Page 18 Page 20 Page 22 Page 24 Page 26 Page 28 Page 30 Page 32 Page 34 Page 36 Page 38 Page 40 Page 42 Page 44 Page 45 Page 46 Page 47 Page 48 Page 49 Page 50 Page 51 Page 52 Page 53 Page 54 Page 56 Page 57 Page 58 Page 59 Page 60 Page 61 Page 62 Page 63 Page 64

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Moosehead Award Recipients: Alison Bice & Jason Marion, This Is Siberian Husky, Tie Her To The Tracks! A Live Silent Film Stephen K Amos, Frank Woodley, Judith Lucy, Jimeoin Akmal, Jason Byrne, Des Bishop, Faulty Towers Dead Cat Bounce, Michael Chamberlain, Ian Bagg, New Art Club Bob Downe, Felicity Ward, David Quirk and Benn Bennett, The Ged & Jamie Show Die Roten Punkte, Best of British, Ross Noble, Cal Wilson Charlie Pickering, Tom Gleeson, Dave Hughes, Charlie Murphy Tom Binns, Tom Ballard, Kate McLennan, Tommy Little Jim Breuer, Luke Heggie, Festival Showcase, DeAnne Smith Steve Hughes, Idiots Of Ants, Josh Earl, Sammy J & Randy Paul Foot, Jeff Green, Greg Fleet, Sarah Kendall Mark Watson, Joel Creasey, Matt Okine, Steele Saunders Adam Ethan Crow, Jason Chong, Jacques Barrett, Dan Willis Wil Anderson, Anthony Salame, Mikey Robins & Greg Fleet, Ryan Coffey Fiona O’Loughlin, Sam Simmons, Smart Casual FanFiction Comedy, Bulmer’s Best Of The Edinburgh Asher Treleaven, Constantinople Lawrence Mooney, Claire Hooper Sin & Tonic, Rhys Nicholson Tom Green, Damian Callinan Ronny Chieng, Nikki Britton Humourversity, Mick Neven Craig Hill, Wild Women Of Comedy Nik Coppin, Geoff Paine Tina C, Jenny Wynter Nick Cody, The Big Hoo-HAA!, The Dirty Bits, Tim Key Umit Bali, Mike Wilmot, Adam Knox, Meg Pee Lachlan Marr, The Rt. Dishonourable Dickie Daventry, Here Come The Girls, Michael Workman, Huggers, David Tulk Shaggers, Obie, Pupperty Of The Penis 3D, Denise Scott Craig Ricci Shaynak, The After Party, Dave Callan, Emma Zammit, Hannah Gadsby, Amazons Ryan Walker, The Axis Of Awesome, Precious Gift Burlesque, Andrew O’Neill, Morven Smith, Bev Killick Bogan Bingo, The Peer Revue, Chris KP, CJ Delling, Gordon Southern, Mike McLeish & Fiona Harris The Horne Section, Headliners, Simon Amstell, Wanda Sykes, Greg Behrendt, David O’Doherty Stand-Up Sit-Down, Aaron Southgate, Jimmy James Eaton, Aardvarks Anonymous, The Comedy Zone, Who Killed John Bearington III Dave Thornton, Peter Helliar, Claudia O’Doherty, Mark Thomas, Kevin Kropinyeri, Good Az Friday Ben Lomas, 4’s Kin, Commedia Dell’Parte, Nath Valvo, Contact!, Dave Purcell, Chris Dewberry, Hungry For Laughs, Elbowskin, 10 Terrorists, The 8th Annual Deakin Comedy Revue, Alex Horne, Glenn Wool, Shappi Khorsandi, Tim FitzHigham Celia Pacquola, Titters!, John Robertson, Christophe Davidson, Max Attwood & Paul Culliver, Bosco & Jekyll, The Wrong People, Toby Halligan, Tristan Savage, The Comedy Gallery, Xavier Toby, WAGS, Simon Munnery, The Pajama Men, Matt Iseman, Carl-Einar Hackner Nick Coyle, Petunia McLaren,The Underlads, JMAC, Brad Hearn, Dave Gorman, Daniel Burt, St Ali’s Late Night Percolator, Sarah D, Dirty Mimes, Angus Brown, 100% Nuts, Dixie Longate, Byron Bertram, One Politically Incorrect Evening, Zoe Coombs Marr

THE 2012 MELBOURNE GIVEAWAYS INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL BY FRANK WOODLEY T

he Comedy Festival. We get together in groups. Some of us are better lit and amplified. The bright, loud ones do stuff that makes the rest of us shake and bark and moan in joyful involuntary spasms. It’s strange. Wonderful and strange. And very communal.

So y’wanna go to heaps of the shows but you’re totally skint? Not to stress son! We’ve got you covered. We’re giving away tickets to heaps of shows this festival and all you’ve got to do to get your greasey mits on some double passes is head to our website and enter away! Heck, our good friends at Old Mout Cider are also going to give away some 4-packs of their delicious cider to make the deal even sweeter. Keep your eyes peeled for the ‘Win tickets to this show at beat.com.au’ starbursts within the guide and then head to our website to win tickets to see these upstanding stand-ups:

Knowing now, that my older brother was unmoved, my own pleasure seemed ill-placed and tawdry. I felt unsettled, ashamed and most of all, lonely.

Charlie Pickering, Claire Hooper, Tommy Little, Frank Woodley, Tom Ballard, Dave Thornton, Kate McLennan, Michael Workman, Michael Chamberlin, Fiona O’Loughlin, Jeff Green, Greg Fleet, Nick Cody, Joel Creasey, Jason Chong, Luke Heggie, Jacques Barrett, Akmal, Sarah Kendall, Jim Breuer, Charlie Murphy, The Ged & Jamie Show, Dan Willis, Nik Coppin, The Rt. Dishonourable Dickie Daventry, Adam Ethan Crow, Obie, Mick Neven, Byron Bertram, The Festival Showcase, Huggers, Shaggers, Here Come The Girls, Ian Bagg, David Tulk, The Dirty Bits, The Big Hoo-Haa!, Craig Ricci Shaynak, The Comedy Zone, Headliners, Glenn Wool, Simon Munnery, Idiots of Ants, The Horne Section, Sean Kempton, Carl-Einar Häckner, Shappi Khorsandi, Anthony Salame, Matt Okine, Ronny Chieng, John Robertson, Andrew O’Neill, Lawrence Mooney, Felicity Ward, Alison Bice & Jason Marion, This Is Siberian Husky, Tie Her To The Tracks! A Live Silent, Nathan Valvo, Meg Pee, Adam Knox, Smart Casual, Chris Dewberry, Amanda Higgs, Lachlan Marr, Jimmy James Eaton, Aaron Southgate, Bulmers Best of the Edinburgh Festival, CJ Delling, Mikey Robins & Gregg Fleet,, Emma Zammit, JMAC, Dirty Mimes, David d Quirk & Ben Bennett, Max Attwood & Paul he Culliver, Jon Bennett, Ben Lomas, The Comedy Gallery, Toby Halligan, Late e TICK E n Night Letters and Numbers, Gordon SHO TS TO Southern, Precious Gift Burlesque,, BEAT WS AT .COM Celia Pacquola, 100% Nuts, Stand-.AU e Up Sit-Down, Amazons, Christophe Davidson and Titters!

This thing we do when we get together and laugh - it’s primal.

It’s profound.

Whattaya waiting for? Head to beat.com.au/freeshit and get entering!

I remember sitting on the floor, watching The Goodies, and my older brother was in the armchair behind me. Graham Garden did some nonsense and I heard my brother’s snorty, snuffly chortle. Hearing him laugh really set me off, and I giggled away, revelling in our mutual bliss. That feeling of connection. Our friendship deeply affirmed in our shared laughter. I wanted to acknowledge this bond, so I turned to look at him, gleefully anticipating that moment when our eyes would meet, both moist and twinkly with mirth. I twisted and glanced up at him - he wasn’t laughing. Not even smiling. He was sitting morosely with his right index finger pressed against his right nostril blowing in short bursts. What I’d heard as laughter were actually percussive snorts made while he tried to clear some deeply wedged snot.

The intense connection I felt with him was suddenly shattered, causing an explosion of confusion and anguish.

My mind flashed back through the previous seconds of euphoric mateship and retraced them, this time as a pathetic tragedy of misunderstanding and insecurity. I reconsidered the joke Graham Garden had performed and now found myself completely unsure about whether I’d actually found it funny at all.

A WORD FROM OUR FRIENDS AT

OLD MOUT CIDER

Some people say that cider makes the world go round, but they’re wrong. It’s the Sun’s gravitational pull. Regardless, Old Mout Cider has quickly become one of Australia’s most beloved ciders. The ‘Mout’ part (rhymes with fruit) comes from the magical place where the fruit is picked – Nelson’s Moutere Valley in New Zealand – an area known as the fruit bowl of New Zealand, where the sunshine hours are longest in the country. The ‘Old’ part (rhymes with cold) indicates the masterful experience of the Old Mout Cider-makers; they’ve been perfecting their enchanting fruity trademark taste since 1947. With flavours ranging from Classic Apple, Scrumpy and Pear Scrumpy as well as innovative and unique fruit variants Boysencider, Feijoa & Cider and brand new Cranberry & Cider, it’s no surprise Old Mout Cider is Australasia’s most awarded cider.

Old Mout Cider is crafted in the only cidery (that we and Galaxy Overlord Google know of) that blends fruit wine with cider to make fruit ciders, therefore the use of flavourings for taste is made redundant, much like any foolish assistant who brings me cider that hasn’t been milked from the teats of angels like Old Mout Cider is rumoured to be. So when enjoying the hilarity throughout this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival, don’t mock your tongue with banal flavourings. Treat it to an Old Mout Cider.

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CreditS

Editor: Tyson Wray Sub-Editors: Lachlan Kanoniuk, Nick Taras Editorial Assistant: Tess Woodward Senior Advertising/Editorial Co-ordinator: Ronnit Sternfein Advertising: Taryn Stenvei, Grace Arena, Adam Morgan Contributors: Lachlan Kanoniuk, Nick Taras, Tess Woodward, Megan Hanson, Peter Hodgson, Joanne Brookefield, Simone Ziada, Patrick Emery, Sofia Levin, Nick Mason, Travis Purton, Christine Lan, Elizabeth Redman, Katie Weiss, Siobhan Argent, Jessica Lawson, James Nicoli.

Production Manager: Luke Benge Graphic Designers: Luke Benge, Gill Tucker, James Carthew Special Thanks: Linda Curtis, Tess Woodward Published by Furst Media 3 Newton Street, Richmond VIC 3121 Ph) (03) 9428 3600 e) info@beat.com.au For more information regarding upcoming advertising and editorial coverage, email ronnit@beat.com.au or call 8414 9700. © 2012 Furst Media Pty Ltd. No part may be reproduced without the consent of the copyright holder.

BEAT MAGAZINE·S COVERAGE OF THE 2012 MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL CONTINUES Got a comedy festival show on this year? Let everyone know through Beat Magazine – the proud publisher of the weekly Comics In The Doghouse section.

Discounted advertising packages including free editorials, image scans, promo giveaways etc, apply through festival dates (March 28 – April 22) For more information please email ronnit@beat.com.au or call 03 8414 9700.

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BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

VOTE TO WIN!

Vote for your favourite show in the MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL for your chance to win a trip for two to

THE EDINBURGH FESTIVAL!

bulmerspeopleschoiceaward.com.au *T&Cs available on the website BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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MOOSEHEAD AWARD RECIPIENTS 2012 ALISON BICE &

JASON MARION FORMER CHILD STAR Connie Cruise is a former showbiz star whose career peaked in childhood and has since fallen into a pit of inertia much like Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character in Along Came Polly and Macaulay Culkin’s character in real life. Written by two-time Moosehead Award winning comic Alison Bice and Barry Award/Age Critics’ Award winning comedian Jason Marion, Former Child Star is a comical exploration of the downfall of ‘fictional’ character Connie Cruise, a former child celebrity from the ‘totally made-up’ TV show Where’s Dad? “It’s kind of a satirical take on showbiz and what it does to young actors and how they relate to the pressures. It’s about a former child star of the small screen back in the late ‘80s to mid-‘90s in Australia, who’s trying to get her career back on track and she’s hoping that with the release of a tell-all autobiography, that’ll kickstart her career, and we see the hurdles she faces along the way,” Marion explains.

“The show is quite absurd, I’ll state that right now, it’s very fantastical.

As it grew, as we started writing it, we realised that the inspiration of stories in Australian history of child stars, scientology comes into

play now too, and the whole Hey Dad! story with Sarah Monaghan – we’re kind of loosely basing some of her journey on those things.

They just became more interesting to talk about. If you’re going to write a play about child stars in Australia, then the one that comes to mind is [Sarah’s], so we touch on that a bit. It just became more and more interesting to talk about scientology and Tom Cruise and the Hey Dad! thing. And Matt Newton as well gets a bit of a ribbing. You can go as far you want with Matt Newton in a way, because he’s done it himself in the public eye, we can go to town on him. [We] take it to an absurd level, part of her story she tells, is she went out with Matt Newton and she tells us what’s that like…yeah…I won’t say anymore.

“It’s also a bit of thriller; we’re hoping to give people a few scares too.

There’s a guy she’s put away, Bruce McKenzie, who played the dad in Hey Dad! and obviously something went on between those two as far as inappropriateness, and he took it too far and ended up in prison.

We see a video during the show that didn’t go to air in Where’s Dad! when Bruce McKenzie took over the reigns creatively and decided to shoot an episode himself. We don’t want to harp on too much about

THIS IS SIBERIAN HUSKY BONESHAKER

My first encounter with the bizarre world of the offbeat local comic team This Is Siberian Husky was listening to one of their sketches where randomly the narrator exclaims, ‘…And now: ghosts fucking!’ followed by spirits spookily moaning, ‘OoOOoOoH’ for several minutes. The team, composed of the warped minds of Simon Godfrey and Dan Allemann (whose last name, Godfrey explains, “is constantly misspelled, so I always threaten to give the wrong information”. After I correctly spell it, Godfrey elucidates, “That’s right it’s also got four silent Qs and a triangle in it”) are back with their Moosehead Award winning show, Boneshaker.

“The show is named after a 19th century bicycle called the velocipede. We named it after that because they used to have wrought iron tyres and when you grinded them into the cobblestone they give the rider a bumpy ride so we wanted to give our audience that. Essentially it’s a sketch show underpinned and helped together with narrative threads, and

underpinned by a synth score. While it’s got three lines of narratives, it’s a sketch show at its core,” Godfrey says.

While their form of comedy has been branded ‘absurd’ and ‘offkilter’, Godfrey propounds a different label.

“It’s absurd, but it’s a word that gets thrown around a lot. We always try and do interesting things with sketches and try to subvert the genre, so I’d call it subverted more than absurd, but there are definitely very silly moment and dark moments as well, so it is a combination of things.

“This show I think is probably more rounded than it’s been in previous years. All the elements of the show relate to each other and we’ve tried to create a world I guess in which the show exists with narrative threads and this one has a lesser sound component than in previous years. We did the last show, Quadrophonic Kaleidoscope, we did the sound design for that in surround sound, which was an epic pain in the arse,” he laughs.

With their twisted and original sense of humour, Godfrey and

TIE HER TO THE TRACKS! A LIVE SILENT FILM

The first time I try to contact Andrew McClelland, I’m sent through to his voicemail. “Hi you’ve called Andrew…congratulations!” Moments later, he calls back. “Sorry, I was…in the gentlemen’s convenience actually,” he admits, “I mean, I didn’t have to tell you that, I could’ve lied, but umm…

“Obviously I was in that situation where I was considering answering the call and pretending I wasn’t, but you know, I’m a classy guy”.

Perfectly coinciding with the phenomenal critical success of recent French film The Artist, Andrew McClelland, Asher Treleaven, Adam McKenzie and Celia Pacquola (with music by Sammy J) are the crew behind the Moosehead Award winning show Tie Her To The Tracks! A Live Silent Film – a production particularly intriguing in its concept: a silent film played out onstage.

“I’m pretty excited about it. It’s a live silent film. It’s a high concept show, the kind of show actually often only get up with a Moosehead, so I’m pretty excited about it. I’ve been a fan of silent film for a long time, my dad raised me up on things like Hardy, Buster Keaton that kind of thing which is great comedy. Silent comedy is such a pure

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version of the form. I thought a live silent show would be a great idea.

When you see a silent film they have a band obviously that will play the music live, so I’ve got Sammy J who’s written an original score for the piece and he plays along. Asher Treleaven is the villain, and I don’t know if you know Asher Treleaven’s face, but oh man, he’s a welldressed gentlemen who’s sort of anachronistic in his look, he plays a wonderful melodrama villain, but the idea was get these comedians I’m friends with – and I’ve worked with them all in the past – and they’re all friends of mine and I knew these people could excel in this environment which in some ways is just a giant comedy sketch. With projectors the way they are today, we could project powerpoints onto a screen in the background, we have the words on that, not only that but also we project environments onto that…which is something we couldn’t have done I suppose ten years ago. I came up with the idea three years ago and I’m finally getting it up.”

McClelland, who wrote the show, has featured in 12 consecutive Melbourne International Comedy Festivals, along with appearances in Spicks and Specks, In Siberia Tonight, The Chaser’s War On

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paedophilia in this show, it’s a very difficult thing to laugh about, but when we do treat it, we treat it appropriately but we do see his side of things through the video, which is quite dark, and very funny”.

Winning a Moosehead Award is an honour but it also relieves the creative team of the time-consuming behind the scenes work at a comedy festival.

“It’s a great load off obviously when you’ve got someone producing your show, Moosehead pay for a director, and your posters… basically you focus on the creative side. I don’t think we would’ve ever done this show, in a festival anyway, possibly even at all, if we didn’t have someone to produce it because it’s a hell of a lot of work. It’s really difficult to write”.

Whilst Marion’s writing experience, including credits for Rove, Totally Full Frontal, Comedy Inc., Hamish & Andy and more is impressive, Former Child Star is distinctive in its originality.

“I don’t think [Former Child Star] is anything people have seen before.

I hate saying that – there’s wonderful comedy out there – it’s an absurdist show with moments of surrealism in it, it’s heavily satirical as well. It’s got a great balance of both, and appeals to a lot of people who are interested in the weirder side but also like a little bit of pop culture”.

TICK ETS T SHO O THIS BEAT W AT .COM .AU

BY NICK TARAS

Check out Former Child Star at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.30pm (Sundays 7.30pm). Tickets $23/$19, Tightarse Tuesday $15 through Ticketmaster online or 1300 660 013.

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Allemann are deserving recipients of the Moosehead Award, and Godfrey explains just how significant winning the award is for the ability of the team to solely attend to the creative aspects of the production.

“It is a grant. It’s called an award but it’s essentially a grant, so it pays for a publicist, a director, a producer it makes such a massive difference. What it essentially means is that Dan and I can focus just purely on the writing and performance. Ninety percent of putting on a show is organising printing and doing the production side of the show so when that’s taken off the plate it means you can focus on the work and give the best performance you can…Having a producer is a major help. We couldn’t do the show without it”.

After the question of why Melburnians should check out Boneshaker is asked – a question usually answered in selfpromotion – Godfrey pauses for contemplation.

“To give us our sense of self-worth”.

TICK ETS T SHO O THIS BEAT W AT .COM .AU

BY NICK TARAS

This Is Siberian Husky perform Boneshaker at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7.15pm (Sundays 6.15pm). Tickets $23/$19; Tightarse Tuesdays $15 and previews $18. Bookings through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 or at the door.

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TICK ETS T SHO O THIS BEAT W AT .COM .AU

Everything as well as his weekly appearance every Friday on The Circle. As busy as he is, particularly as he’s also performing a separate solo comedy show at MICF, he emphasises the importance of winning a Moosehead Award.

“Moosehead is a big deal in comedy. It’s a big thing to get a Moosehead. Every year I get to email saying, ‘If you’ve got any ideas for a Moosehead show, send them in!’ and in the past I’ve always done stand-up shows that I can run myself, [which] I felt wasn’t quite worthy of the experimental nature of Moosehead. But now…I had this idea and I knew I needed a bit of money to get it all together and a bit of help because it’s quite a production.”

Tie Her To The Tracks! A Live Silent Film fits in with this year’s other Moosehead shows which are seemingly all connected by their peculiarity and ambitiousness.

“I think it’s unique. I think it’s going to be a shitload of fun. Can I say shitload? It’s probably not appropriate for a silent audience. These guys [I’m working with] are genuinely amongst the best performers

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

Australia has to offer in comedy. It’s a dream cast for me. When you think about everyone who’s in, holy shit I’m excited for it myself! And very excited for the fact that I got write for these people. It’s quite different. It’s going to be so much fun”.

BY NICK TARAS

Tie Her To The Tracks! A Live Silent Film will be performed at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 8 (except Mondays) at 5.45pm (Sunday 4.45pm). Tickets Full $23, Concession $19, Preview $18, Tightarse Tuesday $15. Bookings Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 Ticket also available at the door.

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD M MOUT OU UT C CI CIDER ID AWARD RECIPIENT

2012 11

STEPHEN K AMOS

FRANK WOODLEY

BEMUSEMENT PARK

LAUGHTER IS MY AGENDA

Acclaimed comic Stephen K Amos is set to take Melbourne International Comedy Festival by storm with a brand new show: Laughter Is My Agenda. Funnily enough, according to Amos, that wasn’t always the case. The comic initially possessed an entirely different focus growing up. “To be terribly honest, I was on a path to becoming a lawyer and what I wanted to do was work in the Citizens’ Advice Bureau, which basically is a free service for people who can’t really afford legal defense,” he reveals. “I was quite keen on looking after the man who couldn’t afford to take on big giants of industry who were sticking them because of some contractual thing. Thankfully, I moved away from that and in a weird way I’m still providing a service to people, but this time it’s to make them laugh.”

Of course, as most stand-up comics will attest, that’s easier said than done. These days, Amos is able to ascertain his chances of success before the curtain has even been raised. “You can always tell, before you go on stage, if it’s going to be a good crowd and if they’re going to be up for it,” he explains. “Hopefully within 30 seconds, I’d have told a massive joke and for the next ten minutes kept them laughing. Then they trust you and you can literally do whatever you want - like a conductor, conducting an orchestra. If you win them and they trust you, you can go wherever you want.”

It’s a privilege unique to Amos’ profession and one he believes other comics should embrace wholeheartedly. “I personally believe that every single comic has a duty. You’ve got a captive audience and I don’t know any other profession where you can say exactly what you want at work. The last bastion of free-speech is comedy and I think everyone should be allowed to say what they want,” he muses.

“The thing is, as much as you can say what you want, the audience is also allowed to react the way they want... so you have to be able to back up what you say.”

Amos’ musings on the art of stand-up have accumulated over a marvellously successful career. Concerning the Melbourne

International Comedy Festival, at least, Amos has become an established favourite. In fact, his most recent show, Best Medicine, was a bonafide hit, with sell-out seasons throughout 2011. Amos might have well and truly hit the big time, but the comic confesses to remain a student of stand-up. “You always grow as a comic. It takes a while to find your own voice. I think personally it took me probably five years, doing comedy on a regular basis, to find my own voice. I’m a very different comic to what I was four years ago and four years before that and again before that.”

This time around, Amos is more assured than ever and armed with an agenda. Of course, his show’s bound to have gags, guffaws and punchlines aplenty, but Amos has even more in mind. “If I can bring the issues that are important to me to the forefront, but still in the guise of comedy, then that’s what I’m doing.”

BY NICK MASON

Stephen K Amos performs Laughter Is My Agenda at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Saturday April 14 (except Monday April 2 and Wednesday April 11, with the Thursday April 12 performance taking place at Frankston Arts Centre, 8pm), then from Friday April 20 until Sunday April 22. Tickets $42.50/$39.50, preview and Tightarse Tuesdays $35 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

triple j’s

Melbourne International Comedy Festival’s most sacrilegious radio broadcast returns in 2012!

FRIDAY 6 APRIL @ NOON

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Frank is built from funny, it’s in his bones – from head to toe.

Wide-eyed, he weaves physical comedy, whimsical songs and stand-up into an hilarious, slapstick, drop down hour of fun. A Frank Woodley show is like watching a bewildered child try to pack a giant octopus into a suitcase.

Australia’s most visually compelling comedian returns to the stage.

Frank Woodley has been performing stand up for 19 years and once again blesses the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with his presence. Writer, producer, actor and musician - Frank Woodley is one of Australia’s finest.

Frank Woodley has won the Herald Angel Award, the Helpman Award for Best Comedy and nominee for an AFI Award for Best Short Animation.

You’ve seen him on Lano & Woodley, Hey Hey It’s Saturday, Talkin’ Bout Your Generation, Spicks And Specks, Good News Week, Thank God You’re Here and many more.

Goofy, amiable, and incredibly funny, Frank Woodley is guaranteed to make you howl with laughter.

Prepare to be thoroughly amused, at Bemusement Park.

Frank Woodley performs Bemusement Park at the Comedy Theatre from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (4.30pm Sundays). Tickets are $38/$35 Saturdays, $35/$30 Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays, $28 Tightarse Tuesdays, $25 previews, Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

JUDITH LUCY NOTHING FANCY

The wait is over. Judith Lucy is back! Judith is the epitome of bloody brilliant female comedy. Her comedy presence has been unwavering for 20 years, and her confidence is well earned.

2011 saw Judith pack up her digs in St Kilda and move to Bondi Beach.

Pretty fancy. She also went on a quest to discover something to believe in... and turned it into a smash hit show for ABC1, Judith Lucy’s Spiritual Journey. Bloody fancy.

Judith has been on screen, radio, and sold out national tours. In 2012, one of the country’s most popular comedians is back on stage after a three year hiatus, with Nothing Fancy. No singing, no dancing, just gags about everything from meditation to beards. And maybe some talk of party pies.

Omitting the props Judith is left with an honest and revealing set about being a 40-year-old single woman who has never been married or had children.

Her audience interaction ceases to ridicule while refusing to sacrifice belly laughs. Her selection of material is fantastic and her timing phenomenal.

Judith Lucy’s Nothing Fancy is incredibly funny.

Judith Lucy performs Nothing Fancy at the Comedy Theatre from Sunday April 15 until Sunday April 22. It’s at 8pm on Sunday April 15. From Tuesday-Saturday it’s at 8.45pm. On Sunday April 22 it’s at 6.15pm. Tickets are $40/$36 ($30 Tightarse Tuesdays) and are available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

JIMEOIN LOVELY The UVF, Jimeoin is explaining, were a paramilitary organisation in Ireland. “A very evil group,” he says. What would happen, though, is that wherever people would see those letters representing the terrorist group on walls, they would write over them, modifying the existing letters and adding extras “and would write ‘love’”, the ex-pat Irish comedian says from his car in Melbourne. As a result, “you’d see ‘love’ or ‘lovely’ written all over the walls in Northern Ireland.

I always found that very funny. And it’s also very subtle as well: ‘I won’t be talking about politics, in fact, I’ve written over politics with ‘lovely’. That’s what I think of politics, gone straight over the top of it and not mention it…’”

Jimeoin’s new show for this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival is called Lovely, and although inspired by this little piece of historical whimsy, won’t see him departing from his trademark observational comedy which illuminates the absurdities of everyday life in exchange for a discussion about world politics, past or present. “It’s one of those really elaborate titles that’s not mentioned other than me telling you about the title,” he says.

“It’s about nonsense, it’s not about politics, it’s about having a laugh,” he says of the content of Lovely, which he’s warming up with a month of gigs in the UK ahead of the festival. With four kids, the most recent arriving two weeks before our interview, he limits time away from home to four week stints, but he estimates he spends up to six months of every year touring the UK, where he’s replicating the success he’s enjoyed in his adopted homeland of Australia for the past couple of decades. With numerous television appearances and two feature films to his credit, Jimeoin is a household name here and with performances on the Royal Variety and Live at The Apollo last year, plus regular appearances at the Edinburgh Fringe over the past few years, he’s well on his way towards a similar level of profile over there.

He recently tweeted “too many comedians have opinions and no jokes. That’s just my opinion”. It’s a great joke in itself but it’s also telling about his approach to stand up.

Jimeoin, who’s been listening to his car radio covering the recent Federal leadership spat ahead of speaking with Beat, says it’s not that he doesn’t have opinion on things, it’s just that he wants to avoid certain subjects that he feels have been overdone. “What I

really, really enjoy, more than anything, is new bits,” he says. “Doing a new bit of material that works really well that other people don’t touch on”.

For Jimeoin, comedy is about getting to the joke as quickly as possible. “‘Here is a take on the Middle East”- “I don’t want to hear someone’s take on the Middle East, I want to hear your joke on the Middle East. Tell me your joke, if it’s funny, then that’s good but I don’t want to hear your opinion. It’s not a soapbox. If it is, it’s a wobbly one,” he says, and then pauses to consider what he’s just said. “And that’s my opinion,” he declares and starts to giggle.

BY JOANNE BROOKFIELD

Jimeoin performs Lovely at Athenaeum Theatre from Wednesday March 28 until Sunday April 15 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sundays).

Tickets $35 Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays; $33 Wednesdays and Thursdays, and $30 Tightarse Tuesdays from Ticketek online, 132 849 and at the door.

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Why should we see your show?

“People should see my show because they’ve ruled out all the other options including television, gardening, intermediate origami and death.” - Paul Foot, Still Life

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AKMAL

Akmal Saleh rarely does private gigs. You’ll see him on TV shows and he tours frequently, playing sold out shows and festivals, but he tends not to do corporate gigs because “they always go horribly wrong”.

Despite that, he did one a few years ago. It was for an association of Arab professionals, so he did some jokes about the Egyptian regime at the time. What he goes on to describe is the epitome of a nightmare gig for any stand up comedian. He says he was heckled, booed, had people tapping on glasses to drown him out, and then had half the room leave in protest and the other half stayed around “poking me and abusing me”.

The following morning, he says he received an anonymous call at 6am advising him not to return to Egypt, the country he and his family emigrated from when he was 11 years old, because “there’s a file out in your name – what you said last night was reported.”

He has plenty of stories like these about the Egyptian regime, which was toppled last year in a civil revolution, and it’s a serious conversation we have for almost an hour.

The Akmal familiar from television screens – irreverent, cheeky, childishly silly, which has endeared him to legions of fans – is absent. Instead, this is the Akmal who was so moved by the revolution that he’s just spent six weeks and $80,000 of his own money making a documentary about it - with no broadcaster or film distributor yet in place. “A friend said to me it may be the most expensive home movie in history,” but that doesn’t matter to Saleh, who simply wanted to document the courage he saw in Egyptians that he says was beyond him.

Religion is in his craw, and through talking passionately on that topic he reveals a deep humanity and social conscience, often using words like love, compassion, respect, equality, injustice. He’s on the phone from Canberra, where he has been doing some unadvertised trial shows in preparation for his Melbourne International Comedy Festival season of his self titled show. Will we see such things being discussed in the show? Or will that be in the subtext? “It’s buried in the subtext,” he quips. “You’ll have to spend three days digging to find this in the subtext!”

Saleh has been doing stand-up for more than 20 years now, first performing under the stage name of Peter Saleh. Since then, he’s reverted to his real name and appeared in movies, TV and radio and on book shelves, as author of a memoir about his journey from Egypt and his life on the Australian comedy circuit.

In that time, religion has always been a theme in his work, he says, as

JASON BYRNE PEOPLE’S PUPPETEER

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wellll as more controversial topics such as race and terrorism. This new show will be no different in that it will touch on such areas, impossible for him not to as he was raised in a “very, very religious family”, but he doesn’t want it getting too personal at the same time. “A lot of it will be just jokes,” he says.

BY JOANNE BROOKFIELD

Akmal performs at Athenaeum Theatre from Wednesday March 28 until Sunday April 1, then Tuesday April 10 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets $35 Friday, Saturdays and Sundays; $33 Wednesdays and Thursdays, $30 Tightarse Tuesdays.

Completely selling out his season in Melbourne in 2011, Jason’s show promises to be anarchy-packed and of acrobatic proportions as the definitive clown of comedy pushes his riotous show to the edge. Jason’s inspired, original brand of high-energy intelligent lunacy ensures that there is simply no other comedian like him.

Jason Byrne was the biggest selling comedian at the worldrenown Edinburgh Comedy Festival. His unique, vivacious comedy styling has attracted a Chortle Award for the Best Headliner in 2007, and a Perrier Award Nomination in 1998 and 2001.

Jason has hosted three series of The Jason Byrne Show which took out the Sony Gold Award for Best Comedy in 2011.

Watching Jason Byrne do stand-up is absolutely riveting.

Jason’s shows are solid comedy gold from start to finish.

Jason Byrne’s return to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is absolutely guaranteed to be an unmissable event. Make sure you get tickets to People’s Puppeteer before it sells out.

Jason Byrne performs People’s Puppeteer at the Athenaeum Theatre from Thursday March 28 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.30pm (7.30pm Sundays). Tickets are $38/$32, $32 Tightarse Tuesdays, previews and groups of eight or more from Ticketek online, 132 849 and at the door.

DES BISHOP LIKES TO BANG

Des Bishop likes to bang and he’s not afraid to show it.

Combining his love of hip hop, strong jokes, audience participation and a newfound passion for drumming, the Dublin-bred Queens native comes to Australia to have fun with wordplay in his brand new stand-up show.

Des Bishop has had three acclaimed television series in Ireland- The Des Bishop Work Experience, Joy in the Hood and most recently, the award winning six episode comedy documentary series In the Name of the Fada.

Des now returns to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival for a banging Bishop extravaganza.

With deeply insightful observations and a wild imagination, Des Bishop is truly a must see.

Des’s energy is electric, he is a virtuoso at captivating audiences. His stand-up is internationally acclaimed and consistently achieves rave reviews.

Des Bishop is back in Melbourne, and he Likes To Bang.

Make sure you watch.

Des Bishop performs Likes To Bang at The Hi-Fi from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays).

Tickets are $32/$28 Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, $30/$28 Wednesdays and Thursdays, groups of eight of more, and $25 Tightarse Tuesdays and previews, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

FAULTY TOWERS THE DINING EXPERIENCE

From a foodie’s perspective, the idea of a restaurant providing service and food similar to that of the British sitcom Fawlty Towers sounds harebrained and absurd. So that, my friends, is why the Faulty dining experience is riding under the umbrella of the Comedy Festival and not the Food and Wine Fest.

The award winning Faulty Towers The Dining Experience show proves that you don’t need top quality food to get a five star review.

“The food, although completely edible, is a prop,” says Alison Pollard-Mansergh, artistic director of the show and co-founder of Interactive Theatre International.

But never fear, gluten free, vegan, and nut allergenic people of Melbourne, Allison assures they can tweak their 3-course meal for special dietary needy people of your ilk.

“Faulty Towers The Dining Experience is not about the food,” she says. “It is about re-creating the dining room of the infamous Fawlty Towers Hotel, and immersing audience members in the experience of interacting with the three main characters – Basil, Sybil and Manuel. Guests are treated to the meal as part of the show, to enable them to be fully immersed.”

No, that isn’t a typo. For copyright purposes, the show is puntastically dubbed ‘Faulty’ Towers to avoid upsetting their worshipped BBC television inspiration.

Ok, so the organisers are saying the food isn’t made to be great.

But there must be some reason why the two-hour show has been a sold-out smash in every Edinburgh Fringe Festival show for the past four years.

If only the patrons in the TV series knew what they were getting into when they checked in to Fawlty’s hotel. And while the Faulty Towers crew’s aim to provide the worst service possible might seem like an easy feat that even your little cousin could pull off, staying true to the show is for the diehard fans is a different story. Breathing

true life into a TV series from a different time – the 1970s – is anything but kid’s stuff.

“It is our aim to have people feel as though they are actually on the set of the TV series restaurant,” says Allison.

“We have studied the two series fully, and whilst we don’t recreate exact scenes, we introduce themes that are familiar to fans throughout…Favourite phrases and nods to story lines are all woven throughout the two-hour Experience.”

Another obstacle, which the real TV characters never seemed to face seeing as their restaurant was never really packed, is entertaining a full room of eaters with just three cast members.

But these are trained professionals and actor Andy Foreman, who plays Manuel, has been on board with the production since it started up 15 years ago.

Each show night proves to be a different performance because every guest is absorbed into the mayhem and changes the rout of the loose re-enactment.

When asked if the infamous John Cleese had come along to the show, Allison said, “He has certainly heard of our show!”

“The invitation is always open for him to attend … A recent review in London stated ‘Cleese would be delighted’ - I’d like to think that would be the case!”

BY KATIE WEISS

Faulty Towers The Dining Experience is on at the Aegean Restaurant from Wednesday March 28 to Sunday April 22 (except Mondays).

Shows are on Tuesday-Friday from 7pm and Saturday-Sunday 1pm or 7pm. Dinner and show tickets range from $69 to $95 from 1300 308 193 and intractivetheatre.com.au.

Why should we see your show?

“It’s like a rock ‘n’ roll Europop explosion in your pants.”

- Die Roten Punkte, Eurosmash!

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DEAD CAT BOUNCE HOWL OF THE SHE-LEOPARD

You’ve got Tripod, Axis Of Awesome, Flight Of The Conchords. What do all of these acts have in common? Well, they’re all well- known, extremely intelligent musical comedy acts. Now add Dead Cat Bounce to that list, and you have yourself proof that making people laugh isn’t just about standing in front of a microphone and spitting off witty anecdote after witty anecdote. Rather, Irish threesome, Dead Cat Bounce, prove that singing about kidnapping midgets is just as important as world peace.

Getting prepared to head on stage for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival next month with their show, Howl Of The SheLeopard, lead singer and guitarist of the band, James Walmsley, spoke to me about boobs, audience reactions, the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle, and just where that abstract title for their show came from...

James laughs, “There wasn’t much thought [that went into the title of the show], really. It’s just a typical rock ‘n’ roll thing...You take an animal – like a wolf, or a leopard, or something – and then you add a gender to it. You choose something that it does, and then that’s how it came about – Howl Of The She-Leopard. Pretty basic stuff, really.”

“We’re not a parody [band] because all of the songs are our own – we’ve never really done the whole ‘music parody’ thing...We are all kind of failed musicians in our own right, actually. At the same time, it’s very much a comedy show, but we are a band...We actually just came off doing a late night show, which I don’t think that we’ll be doing in Melbourne, where we were the house band for a thing called Late ‘N’ Live, where we’d play covers...for two hours a night, so we do sometimes play as a ‘proper’ band. It does sometimes work as a ‘proper’ band as well, not just with the comedy thing. I mean, I think we’re very much kind of a band now. We actually started out doing sketch shows together – that’s how we sort of get into the whole thing; we were a sketch act for a couple of years and then the music kind of crept in until it became the main thing that we did. We do other things as well, though. We do quite a bit of writing for other stuff, not necessarily to do with the band. When we’re doing the band, it’s all

MICHAEL CHAMBERLIN JOY & DESPAIR just about the band, though.”

For anyone that’s ever seen or heard of these guys, you’ll understand that, musical talent aside, they’re not ones to take themselves seriously. I suppose it’s fitting with the whole comedy thing, then.

“There’s nothing particular about what we do. I suppose what we kind of do, because we’re a band, is we’ll sometimes start from the point of view of a rock ‘n’ roll cliché or something, and [go from there]. But yeah, they can come from all kinds of places. I mean, we have songs about kidnapping midgets, and penguins – that kind of thing, so it’s all pretty random. “ “We don’t really look for [one particular audience reaction] specifically. But, you know, sometimes those weird things happen. We have been flashed on stage before by boobs – yeah, that happened...

That’s kind of more at late shows and things – people just kind of get carried away with it, the rock ‘n’ roll-ness of it, I don’t know. It’s a comedy show, really...we just want people to have a bit of fun and enjoy the show.”

So, what can people expect from Dead Cat Bounce? “Style, quality, excellence. That’s actually a slogan from Dunhill Cigarettes from the 1990s, but I think that it fits perfectly for us.”

BY SIMONE ZIADA

Dead Cat Bounce perform Howl Of The SheLeopard at Trades Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets $28/$26 Fridays and Saturdays, $25/$23 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $22 for groups of six or more and $20 Tightarse Tuesdays and preview, available through Ticketmaster online, 1600 660 013 and at the door.

“Emma Zammit did an excellent job of keeping the audience bemused . . . . . . her delivery and comic timing was spot on” ww www.australianstage.co com.au

Widely acclaimed Michael Chamberlin has written for the likes of Rove McManus, Adam Hills and John Cleese.

Don’t miss this favourite of Australian comedy, as seen on skitHOUSE, The Mansion and Hey Hey It’s Saturday (he was the one in the dog suit… yep).

Have you ever been on a few promising dates only to be stood up? Have you ever moved cities only to have to move back not long after? Have you ever won an argument only to realise at the end your fly was undone?

Michael Chamberlin has.

In 2012 one of Australia’s most respected comedians and sought after writers, will perform at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Chamberlin’s latest show draws on real life stories of love and hate, highs and lows, joy and despair. Oh, and of a little seven year old girl who recently bullied Michael. Mole.

IAN BAGG THE IAN BAGG SHOW

A regular on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and Late Night with Conan O’Brien, this Stateside Canadian also has top rating Comedy Central and Showtime specials. A star of Aspen and Montreal Comedy Festivals, Ian just launched his one hour HBO special. Smashing up stages all over Melbourne last Festival, Ian is back in one of his favourite rooms.

A mix of hard hitting material and brilliant improvised crowd work, no two shows will ever be the same. Ian probes the crowd on anything from sexual habits, to their profession, to their favourite aspect of a blow job. The confronting audience interaction is then masterfully interjected throughout the show to hilarious results. Being an audience member is not a safe venture, but it is certainly worth the risk.

Assertive and brave, Ian’s brutal honesty is truly admirable.

After all, admitting to self-defecation in front of a room of strangers must be unnerving. You’d be shitting yourself!

The Ian Bagg Show is not for the faint of heart. If you like it a little risque, don’t miss Ian Bagg. A must see show this Festival.

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NB M h l was going to call his 2012 show Ecstasy And NB: Michael Agony. But with hopes of becoming a big name in Bali sometime soon he thought better of it.

Michael Chamberlin performs Joy & Despair at the Victoria Hotel from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets $23 Saturdays, $23/$20 Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays, and $20 Tightarse Tuesdays from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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Ian Bagg performs at the Exford Hotel from Thursday March 29 – Sunday April 22. It’s at 8pm and 7pm Sundays. Tickets are $15-$25 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013, venue booking 9663 2697 or at the door.

NEW ART CLUB

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You may remember New Art Club from last year’s festival as the British couple that did a ‘greatest hits’ show, packed with hilarious dances. If you don’t, that’s OK because this show is completely different. The award-winning duo consists of Pete Shenton Tom Roden, who have been working together for almost 14 years. “We are physical and arty, Shenton says. “We make beautifully crafted funny shows that kick your shit off.”

This year, they’re bringing something a little different to Melbourne with their new show, A Quiet Act of Destruction. “This [one] only has two short dances in it,” says Shenton. “It’s built around a load of funny stories and games out of it, and renders it hilarious.”

A Quiet Act of Destruction is an interactive comedy show about a conflict that arises over the proposed renaming of a train station.

“We split the audience up into the two villages and pit them against each other in a series of games,” Shenton says. “The teams amass points during the show and that affects the outcome of the narrative.

We thought it may appeal to the strong Aussie competitive spirit.”

Still finding it difficult to picture what these guys do? You’re not alone. “It’s difficult to describe what we do, and that’s probably part of the charm,” Shenton says. “We let the material lead us to the logic of the show.”

Both Shenton and Roden have been professional artists and performers since the ‘90s. Together, they’ve had lots of practice in perfecting the craft of creating shows from scratch. “I’d say we’ve gradually seen ourselves as comedians,” says Shenton.

“And as for making a living, we mix doing comedy with working as choreographers.” As well as working together onstage, their endeavours extend to having choreographed routines for the Royal Opera House.

Since joining forces in 1998, New Art Club has created a new show almost every year. “We have made 12 shows together, [and] they’ve all been different,” Shenton says. “They have all been funny, but the last four have been really funny. We changed our emphasis about five years ago from making dance and theatre that is funny, to

making comedy shows.”

One question always arises when performers work in pairs or groups: does one performer’s talent carry the other? “Neither of us are particularly strong, but I think that I can do more press ups than Tom,” Shenton says. “The [creative] process tends to work like this: I write something intelligent and thoughtful, meaningful and full of deep human truth and then Tom mercilessly takes the piss.”

With such a high turnover of shows, the future is always kept in mind. “We just started making a new show about controversial works of art,” says Shenton. “We’re thinking of calling it either Ooh … Controversial’or The Show About The Show In Which A Woman Pissed All Over The Floor And Then Got Pissed On By Her Mate’or The Satanic Verses – The Musical – On Ice.” Seemingly typical of many performers, particularly comedians, Shenton is always switched ‘on’, and sees the world is his stage. “I have been performing in front of audiences all of my life,” he says.

“I basically assume that people are watching me wherever I go and I cannot remember when this was not the case.”

BY MEGAN HANSON

New Art Club perform Quiet Act Of Destruction at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sundays) Tickets $32 Saturdays, $32/$25 Fridays, $30/$25 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, and $25 Tightarse Tuesdays from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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Why should we see your show?

“Thankfully I had the foresight to get inoculated but due to a rare comic virus all shows in the festival have been cancelled except for Damian Callinan in Robinson Crusoe” - Damian Callinan, Robinson Crusoe

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

WINNER BEST COMEDY Y

“Doubled Over with Laughter”

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BOB DOWNE 20 GOLDEN GREATS Before there was Bob Downe, there was Mark Trevorrow, a young copywriter on Melbourne’s Herald Sun. In an era when journalistic method involved a dozen pints, two packets of cigarettes and an incorrectness of political thought that would make the Country Party blush, it fell to Trevorrow to recall his colleagues back to the office.

“I didn’t get to attend those meetings, but as a 17 year old copy boy I used to have to go and drag them back to the office,” Trevorrow says.

“They didn’t like it.”

Thirty years after those formative years, and Trevorrow is a successful comedian, having created the stylish, witty, debonair and delightfully camp Bob Downe. Journalism, however, continues to plummet. “There’s not enough stories and way too much comment,” Trevorrow muses. As for the prospect of Gina Rinehart – a personality some would suggests exists at the polar extreme to Bob Downe – controlling significant sections of the Australian media, Trevorrow is philosophical. “Well, she did co-create Kath & Kim so it’s a natural development,” he says.

Trevorrow’s Bob Downe character revives an era when entertainers dominated the entertainment industry. In the modern era of self-publishing and self-promotion, ‘celebrities’ dominate: Posh, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and a host of even lesser lights. For Trevorrow, the distinction between entertainer and a celebrity is simple. “Entertainers actually have some sort of talent,” he deadpans.

With just about everything sold these days seems to come with a warning, or is subject to a media scare campaign about long-term health effects, Bob Downe has managed to remain a walking health risk, dressed from head to toe in polyester, with a head full of hair spray. Are you aware of any significant health effects that come from the regular wearing of polyester? “None whatsoever. It is completely inert,” Trevorrow says. “And hair spray isn’t a problem when you hold your breath.”

As for the prospect of Bob’s hair being donated to the Powerhouse Museum, possibly for display alongside Midnight Oil’s Sorry suits, Trevorrow has a better option. “I’d much rather it was next to Little

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THE HEDGEHOG DILEMMA

Patti’s surfboard, and Maude Boate’s original Priscilla head dresses!”

In the ‘80s Bob hosted Good Morning Murwillumbah in regional New South Wales. Trevorrow, sadly, hasn’t kept up with changes in the world of breakfast television. “I wouldn’t know!” he laughs. “I make it a point not to wake up before 11.” Do you think regional broadcasting is Kyle Sandilands’ logical end-point if he continues his current on-air behaviour? ”Actually, I think he might end up owning the station. It worked for Alan Jones!” Trevorrow laughs.

Bob Downe’s upcoming show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival will continue the Downe celebration of fashion, song and camp vaudeville entertainment. “There will be more great hits! More fab costumes! Same old jokes!” Trevorrow promises. What about people who don’t ‘get’ Bob’s shtick – is there anything there for them? “No,” Trevorrow replies resolutely. “They should go to the aquarium.”

Looking forward into the future, and Trevorrow suggests Downe will remain a model of consistency, transcending fad, but always remaining in fashion. “In ten years’ time Bob will probably be much the same as now, I have no doubt!” If you had to write Bob’s epitaph, what would it be? “Oi!! Over here!” Trevorrow laughs.

BY PATRICK EMERY

Bob Downe performs 20 Golden Greats at The Famous Spiegeltent from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sundays). Tickets $32/$30 Fridays and Saturdays, $28/$25 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, and $25 Tightarse Tuesdays, $26 previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

As seen in the film Any Questions for Ben? and TV’s Spicks And Specks and Thank God You’re Here. Multi-award-winning Logie nominee returns to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with the all new Hedgehog Dilemma.

Felicity Ward uses a hedgehog as a metaphor. She doesn’t have a dilemma regarding a specific hedgehog. That wouldn’t evoke much empathy.

What is The Hedgehog Dilemma? Trying to wear tiny jackets over your spikes? Or every time you get close to somebody, you may get hurt. Sound familiar?

Deemed one of the top ten rising stars of Australian comedy, Felicity Ward is a fine example of a warm and hilarious comedian.

Felicity exudes confidence with enviable ease. Performing to sold-out shows around the world, come and see this Melbourne comedian on home-ground turf.

Her new show questions the perils of isolation and intimacy in an hour packed with promises of laugh-out-loud moments.

Her brutally frank self-deprecation creates an intimate and revealing show.

With promises of an interpretive dance, you don’t want to miss Felicity Ward as she teases out The Hedgehog Dilemma.

Felicity Ward performs The Hedgehog Dilemma at the Victoria Hotel, Little Collins Street from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45 Sundays).

Tickets are $26.90/$23 Fridays and Saturdays, $24/$20 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, and $18 Tightarse Tuesdays, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

DAVID QUIRK & BENN BENNETT MAN-DATE

Two men meet to eat. All wang, no yang. It’s fine until you think about it. Come sit down with comedian David Quirk (David) and musician Benn Bennett (Benn) as they lead you down this wanky, modern path to where masculine oblivion awaits.

Man-Date is a dinner date between man and mate set in real time.

Sunday evening, dinner has been ordered, hair of the dog, singing, talking, lies, admissions and pasties... David Quirk and Benn Bennett racked up hundreds of man hours going on actual man-dates in preparation for this live excursion into the minds and loins of two actual and real men and how they dine and what they discuss (yoga, chastity belts, last night, palm reading).

Their preparation included 33 coffee dates, 13 dinners, 24 drinking sessions, one Pilates class, two concerts, one gym workout, one bike ride, six walks, one x swinging on swings, countless hours writing together and no women.

Find out what they learned and come with David Quirk and Benn Bennett on their Man-Date.

Bottoms up!

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nnett perform perform f David Quirk and Benn Bennett Man-Date at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets are $26.90/$23 Fridays and Saturdays, $24/$20 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $20 for groups of six or more, and $18 Tightarse Tuesdays and previews, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

THE GED & JAMIE SHOW APOCALYPSE 2012: THE YEAR WE LOST CONTACT

The new comedy show by Ged Cogley and Jamie McCarney is all about the apocalypse. This is an event that they’re well prepared for. “It’s all about the end of the world so we’ve been facing worldending problems whenever we can,” Ged says. “We’re dealing with massive hangovers most mornings.”

“We’ve been watching lots of Jersey Shore so we feel like ending our own world lots,” he adds. “Anyone who’s seen Jersey Shore is definitely prepared for the end of the world.”

The show takes the form of a play with some moments of sketch comedy. They talk about the signs of the end of the world, including the fact that people communicate through machines rather than face-to-face. At one point in the show Jamie is so convinced the apocalypse is happening, he traps the disbelieving Ged in his underground bunker.

Although Ged and Jamie disagree on whether the end of the world is coming, they find it fairly easy to work together. They have a system for working out what to do with the creative ideas they don’t agree on: the passion card.

“If one of us really loves something we can play one passion card in each play, and that goes into it,” Ged explains. He adds that Jamie played the passion card in a previous show to get paper bag puppets included: “It was a hit. Everybody loved it.”

The duo met about seven years ago and have been doing shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival together since.

Their backgrounds include acting stints on Neighbours, Stingers, Blue Heelers, and the ABC sketch comedy Flipside. Last year they did a sketch show on Channel 31 together called The Ged & Jamie Show. It featured such memorable scenes as a fake ad for a service that lets internet users give up their computers and call the internet instead. “Hello, this is the internet, how can I help

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you?” drones Jamie, sitting in front of Matrix-style style trickling green letters.

“That came from working at a computer company where I had to try to sell people websites,” Jamie explains. “It became so brain-draining that when people would call up to ask for advice on their website or their domain name, I used to pretend to be the internet itself.”

Something they’ve learnt over their time working together is that you can never second-guess an audience. Jamie tells the story of a time when they were doing a live show and someone was sitting right in the front row not laughing. At all.

“You get really paranoid. After the show he came up to us and said, ‘I like your show. I don’t speak English but I like your movement.’ He was Swedish! He didn’t understand a word of what we were saying.”

BY ELIZABETH REDMAN

The Ged & Jamie Show perform Apocalypse 2012 – The Year We Lost Contact at 1806, from Monday April 9 until Saturday April 21 at 7pm (6pm Sundays). Tickets $15, $10 Tightarse Tuesdays from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Why should we see your show?

“You need to see my show because it is the most hilarious comedy show in the history of comedy. Just like this quote.” - Tom Green

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JIMMY McGHIE

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DIE ROTEN

PUNKTE EUROSMASH !

Astrid and Otto Rot are really serious musicians. They’re not very happy with their manager who has booked them for a stint at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

They’re a serious rock band, they tell me. But of course, their shows are packed with laughs as well as music.

You might remember brother and sister musical comedy duo Die Roten Punkte (The Red Dots) from their last festival show, Kunst Rock (Art Rock). “A lot of people know us from playing indie rock, and stuff that’s maybe a bit alternative,” Otto drawls down the phone in his German accent. “People maybe think that we’re like The Ramones and The B-52’s.”

Their new show is called Eurosmash! “This album’s going to have more dance music on it,” Astrid interjects. “We’ve got a choreographer.”

“Yeah, because we were listening to people like Friendly Fire and Jessie J and Lady Gaga,” Otto continues. “This new album is a little bit different for us.”

Their new music will be more about melodies and dancing.

They tell me in all seriousness that audience members will probably jump up and dance at their shows at the Spiegeltent. The title of the show makes it sound like they’re inspired by Eurovision but the siblings disagree. “I quite like Eurovision,” Astrid says. “It’s a little bit silly sometimes, some of the costumes. We couldn’t really be in Eurovision because we are a serious rock band.”

“Eurosmash!, although kind of inspired by the title Eurovision, it’s more about dance music and having fun,” Otto cuts in.

“Actually I want to be on Eurovision though. That’s where she and I are different. I really want to be on Eurovision so I’ve been writing songs with this idea that maybe we can get there one day,” Astrid cuts him off to express her surprise.

The band has gathered quite a collection of fans, who sometimes ask for autographs on various body parts. The fans also bring gifts: dinosaur cookies inspired by the song

BEST OF BRITISH Burger Store Dinosaur, drinks, a giant banana, an inflatable guitar. Someone even made lion-shaped cupcakes with crispy noodles for the lions’ manes because of their song about lions.

These fans live all over the world. They have more fans in Winnipeg, Canada than anywhere else, including one who plans to make a rock documentary about the duo, Astrid explains. “He wants to make a movie about us. So we’re going to do some concerts there specially for him. And he’s going to film our tour across Canada.”

Even so, they don’t have to adapt their show much for different audiences in different places. There’s only one exception: “In some places they are more drunk,” Otto says.

In one town in the UK, they had to keep repeating things so the drunk audience could understand, and then stretch their show out for half an hour longer. “We were just making a party with them,” Astrid says.

Melbourne wins out as far as the indie music scene goes though, even compared to international cities like Berlin.

“Melbourne has a bigger scene,” says Otto. “Around the world, there are cities that are bigger and don’t have as many places to play and so many things going on all at once. I think Berlin has a lot of cool things, but Melbourne, for the size of the city, it’s out of control.”

Sounds like Melbourne is in for a Eurosmash! And even though they are serious rock musicians, you can count on a good laugh as well.

BY ELIZABETH REDMAN

Die Roten Punkte will perform Eurosmash! at The Famous Spiegeltent from Thursday March 29 to Sunday April 8 (except Monday). Tickets $32/$29 or $25 for preview and Tightarse Tuesday from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013, and on the door.

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Two hundred years ago Britain sent their worst here.

Today they’re sending their funniest. The Best Of British has completely sold out during the past five Melbourne International Comedy Festivals. Britain does two things well, and comedy is one of them.

This year there’s only one place to see all the best British comedians. Best Of British makes its triumphant return, offering a revolving lineup of some of the UK’s top comedians each night. Previous acts include Sarah Millican, Russell Kane, Terry Alderton and Jimeoin.

Each night three top British comedians will have you slapping your thighs in a right old knees up. That’s three comedians for the price of one!

This year’s MC will be Dan Willis. Dan has had full solo shows at over 30 International comedy festivals. Dan has impeccable timing, razor-sharp wit, and an IT background that feeds into incredible technological aides.

Who knows what other fantastic Brits will pop in for a set.

Head down to the Exford Hotel for a lager and a laugh.

Best of British… Probably the best show in the festival!

The Best Of British will be on at the Winter Garden Room from Wednesday March 28 – Saturday April 21. It’s at 9.30pm from Monday – Saturday, 8.30pm on Sunday, and 3.30pm for the Saturday & Sunday Matinee. Tickets are $20$25 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013,Venue booking 9663 2697, Tixnofee, Ticketbush, or at the door.

ROSS NOBLE NONSENSORY OVERLOAD

Ross Noble is back from his travels and doing what Ross Noble does best- spinning forth genius nonsense for your amusement. Noble’s improvisational skills are unparalleled and absolutely sensational.

With a vast array of awards, television appearances, and DVDs under his belt, widely acclaimed Ross Noble is back fresh from his own TV show. Now is your chance to see one of the best live comics working internationally today as he brings you Nonsensory Overload.

Quirky is given a whole new meaning when watching Noble take to the stage. His erratic energy is contagious, drawing audiences to the very edge of their seats wondering where his next rant will venture.

Watching him for the first time may lead some to conclude he is a rambling crazy person with no structure or end in sight.

Quickly you realise that his garrulous manner is part of his greatness.

Noble uses audience interaction to weave one hilarious moment into another until he has created a largely

spontaneous stand-up masterpiece. Every show is unique.

Ross Noble is erratic, electric, and exceptional. Overload yourself with Noble’s hilarious nonsense.

Ross Noble performs Nonsensory Overload at The Palais from Monday April 16 until Sunday April 22 at 8pm. Tickets are $44.90/$34.90 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

CAL WILSON CAL WILSON IS ALL EARS

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Considering how vibrant, unique and versatile Cal Wilson is, it’s unsurprising that the Kiwi-born, Melbourneresiding comedian draws inspiration from various artistic mediums. “I’ve just finished reading a brilliant book called The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson and I found that so hilarious and inspired,” Wilson enthuses.

“Anything creative that you love makes you go: ‘oh, oh, now I want to go and create something’. I love seeing a good film or reading a good book, but I find that during the festival is when I feel most creative because there’s so much creative stuff happening around me and when you see someone else, you don’t go: ‘oh, I want to do that’ – you go ‘oh, I love the way they do that; I want to do something that’s my style’. You just get fired up by other people doing things fantastically.”

Meeting one of her comic idols last year was a little overwhelming. “I love Stephen Fry,” Wilson emphasises.

“It was a real highlight for me last year to do the QI live show with him – to be on stage with him and Alan Davies was just amazing. I love French and Saunders and a lot of British comedy was what I was into at the start. My very first comedy memory was listening to The Goons, and I love The Goodies – I want to marry all of the Goodies,” she chuckles.

Cal Wilson Is All Ears will see her inviting the audience to share their own bizarre real-life moments. “It’s one of those weird ones... because some of it is improvised each night, I can only do so much [preparation],” Wilson explains. “I’ve got most of the show, but then there’s the bits that will only happen each night and that’s quite a scary and exhilarating feeling. I don’t get to just go out there and reel off material that I’d prepared earlier; I have to be really sharp to deal with the stuff that’s coming from the audience.

“And it’s not scary audience interaction – I don’t ever want to be one of those comedians where you’re frightened to walk into the room and you have to sit up the back. I want

everyone to have a good time.”

Last year, Wilson wrote about her favourite moments during the festival on her website, and is often surprised by the stories shared by her audiences. “Some of the stories that people were coming up with were just gorgeous,” Wilson grins. “There’s a lot of stuff about growing up in the show – I talk about the torments that my brothers used to visit on me and stuff that your parents tell you for your own good but aren’t necessarily true.

“Most people have heard the story that if you swallow chewing gum, it stays in your throat for seven years, but one woman put up her hand and her parents told her that she would die if she ate chewing gum. She swallowed some chewing gum one day and was starting to say her goodbyes because she thought that was it. I’m constantly surprised by the stuff that people come up with.

“My favourite part about comedy is when the whole room is laughing together at something someone said – it doesn’t have to be me on stage – but if someone in the audience says something gorgeous, I love laughing along with the audience because it means that each show is different and those moments will never happen again.”

BY CHRISTINE LAN

CAL WILSON performs Cal Wilson Is All Ears at Melbourne Town Hall’s from Thursday March 29 – Saturday April 21 (not Mondays). It’s at 8.15pm from Tuesday-Saturday and 7.15pm on Sundays. Tickets $32/$27 Friday and Saturday, $29/$26 Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday, $26 Tuesday.

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Why should we see your show?

“This is a question only you can answer. I certainly don’t want to force anybody into it.” - Sammy J, Sammy J & Randy

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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PICKERING

GOOD ONE

ONE GIANT LEAP

“This sounds so geeky....” It’s unsurprising to hear this phrase coming from one of Australia’s most respected and popular comedians, Charlie Pickering. Co-host of The Project and a team captain on Talkin’ ’Bout Your Generation, Pickering’s general knowledge is as impressive as his clever wit. In his new show at this year’s MICF, One Giant Leap, Pickering will be exploring human progress.

“I recently got quite into astronomy and I guess astrophysics and the universe,” says the affable Melbourne comedian.

“And it just occurred to me that we stopped focusing on that sort of stuff: we sent a man to the moon in the ’60s and then we stopped doing things like that. We sent a rover to Mars and we took a photo of the Sun from the surface of Mars and it looks amazing, but I don’t know if anyone’s seen it or taken an interest because they’re more concerned about the Kardashian wedding or the Carbon tax. I think our mindset at the moment is really negative, but if we looked at all the great things that humans have done and thought a bit more about what things we could do, maybe we’d just have less to be negative about.”

Speaking of giant leaps, Pickering’s rise from a respected local comedian to a household name has been remarkable.

“I still feel really lucky everyday that The Project came along because it’s a job where I get to use the really weird set of skills that I’ve built up over the years,” Pickering laughs.

“Being a stand-up comedian doesn’t prepare you for that many jobs in life. And being a bit of a news junkie that spent more time reading politics blogs than they should doesn’t really prepare you for many other jobs either, so I was really lucky when this one came along and I got to enjoy the news and have a laugh at the same time. I don’t know what I’d be doing if The Project hadn’t come along. It’s definitely the best job for me right now and I just feel lucky everyday that I get to do it.”

Recently, there’s been much criticism about the fact that commercial television doesn’t represent Australia’s

TOM GLEESON

multicultural society. It’s an important issue that Pickering feels very strongly about. “If you’re going to represent Australia and you’re just going to hire the people that are best for the job, then it will naturally follow that you will have a multicultural lineup on TV,” says Pickering. “And I think it’s glaringly obvious that other networks or other shows don’t have that mix. I think what’s a real shame is there would be lots of talented young people that have a look at the commercial TV landscape now and just presume that they don’t get on TV. People need to have a look at the lives that they live and if you go to a hospital or a sandwich shop – wherever you go in your life – you interact with multicultural Australia, so why you wouldn’t do that on TV... I don’t have any idea why that would be the case.”

BY CHRISTINE LAN

Charlie Pickering performs One Giant Leap at Melbourne Town Hall’s Lower Town Hall from Friday March 30 until Monday April 16 (only on Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays). It’s at 9.30pm on Mondays and 8.15pm on Fridays and Saturdays.

Tickets $30, $26 preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 113 and on the door.

Last year Tom Gleeson’s season sold out. Good one. Tom is coming back to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival for his 12fth consecutive show, with a brand new hour of laughs. Good one. In 2011 Tom toured all around Australia before returning to the invite-only Catlaughs Comedy Festival in Ireland and the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal. Oh yeah, and the biggest stand-up on the planet- Louis CK- selected Tom to be his support act during his Australian tour.

He somehow manages to speak to university students and their parents simultaneously and with an annoying ease. Don’t miss one of Australia’s best comedians as he returns to the stage at the 2012 Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Buy a ticket. It will unquestionably be a good one.

Tom Gleeson performs Good One at Victoria Hotel, from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays) and at Melbourne Town Hall from Monday April 2 until Monday April 16 at 7pm (Mondays only). Tickets $30 Saturdays, $28/$26 Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $24 Tightarse Tuesdays and previews, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

DAVE HUGHES THE COMEBACK TOUR

To the mass disappointment of comedy fans Hughesy gave the 2011 Melbourne International Comedy Festival a miss.

Melburnians can breathe a sigh of relief as he’s now back with what will undoubtedly be an explosion of energy.

Dave Hughes has frequented the Melbourne International Comedy Festival since 1996. Gaining notoriety through cohosting Nova 100, The Project, and Before The Game, Hughesy is a natural performer.

Co-hosting the selection of shows results in a broad range of comedy topics. He swings from a political joke to a light-hearted celebrity joke with an ease that only a comedy veteran could.

Hughesy has a naturally confident demeanor, balanced with just the right amount of self deprecation. His sarcasm and quick wit captivate audiences from start to finish.

For those of you who were starting to wonder whatever happened to that guy, you can relax because he’s back! His loyal followers is a testament to his comedy presence and consistency, Don’t miss this opportunity to see Hughesy in his natural environment, live on stage at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival. This will sell out, so get in quick.

Dave Hughes performs The Comeback Tour at The Forum from Friday April 6 until Sunday April 22 (except Sunday April 8 or Mondays). It’s at 9.45pm on Friday March 6 and Saturday April 7. From Tuesday-Saturday it’s at 8.30pm and on Sundays it will start at 7.30pm. Tickets are $40 Saturday, and are available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

CHARLIE MURPHY

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THE ACID TRIP TOUR

You know the name. And chances are, it’s indelibly etched within your mind with the coked-up cadence as exclaimed

by Dave Chappelle’s not-too-far-removed caricature of Rick James. Though I’m not certain that it has quantified as such in any official regard, the episode-long recollection that is Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories stands as one of the all-time greatest examples of sketch comedy.

Central to the eye of the snowstorm that is the Rick James character stands an endearingly grounded Charlie, assuming the role of consummate storyteller. It’s a role that Charlie has continued in a sense since Chappelle’s Show concluded its stellar run, taking to the stand-up circuit with aplomb. It’s in this regard that Charlie will make his maiden voyage to Australia.

“I got a question for you, what’s the weather there like?

Spring, summer?” Charlie queries from the get go. “So you guys are wearing shorts and stuff like that – summer clothes, that’s wassup. I remember one time I went from Anchorage, Alaska straight to Las Vegas. So in Anchorage it was 18 degrees [Fahrenheit], then I got to Las Vegas and it was 98 degrees [Fahrenheit] and I had on a fur coat. So I get off the airplane looking around the airport and everyone’s thinking, ‘Man, you look really stupid right now.’ So I gotta know in advance what that weather’s gonna be.”

As we’re probably all aware, the Rick James skit provided more than a lifetime’s worth of catchphrase gold. Though the cries of “I’m Rick James, bitch” at times perturbed Dave Chappelle at his stand-up performances, Charlie is philosophical about the sensation. “People yell that, but I don’t walk down the street a lot so it’s not a problem at all. I’m usually in the car or something like that. When I go into places to chill or whatever, I don’t really have a lot

of problems. People are very respectful in most parts. I do hear a ‘Rick James’ now and then, but it’s a term of endearment. I could never get angry about it, it’s a thing where we’re making a connection when I don’t even know you and we haven’t met before, but it’s something you can throw up in the air which makes us friends,” he muses.

Shown on SBS from the mid-2000s, Chappelle’s Show was most definitely a worldwide phenomenon. Having said that, the shockwaves from the show’s sudden cancellation may not have resonated as strongly here then they did in the States. Charlie looks back on the lead-up and aftermath of the tumultuous “lost episodes”. “It came to be known to you guys a whole lot later, which is good – it’s fresher to you guys. But just to let you know, it’s still the number one show on Comedy Central in America right now,” Charlie explains. “It was a great time. Like I said, we did some great work and going to work was a joy. Then one day it was like your job has just evaporated, it’s gone.

That happening was a good thing man, because it forced me to do this – this opportunity [for stand-up] came, and it worked,” he ponders. “And I’ve been doing it ever since and I don’t have any intention of stopping any time soon.”

BY LACHLAN KANONIUK

Charlie Murphy brings The Acid Trip Tour to Princess Theatre on Thursday April 19 and Friday April 20 at 9.30pm. Tickets are $56.90 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013, and on the door.

Why should we see your show?

“Because my audiences are always really hot, so even if you don’t love hearing outrageous true stories, you’ll have something nice to look at.” - Cal Wilson, All Ears

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BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

MARY

TOBIN

PRESENTS

STEPHEN K AMOS R E T H G U LIAS MY

A D N E AG ★★★★★

MELBOURNE TOWN HALL 29 MAR – 22 APR (DATES & TIMES VARY - CHECK PROGRAM) FRANKSTON ARTS CENTRE THUR 12 APR 8PM TEL: 03 9784 1060 WWW. WWW.THEFAC.COM.AU .THEFAC.COM.AU 1300 660 013 COMEDYFESTIVAL.COM.AU www.marytobinpresents.com.au

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

25

TOM BINNS

TOM BALLARD DOING STUFF

IAN D MONTFORT: SPIRIT COMEDIUM

We all know him as that annoying medium, but imagine if John Edwards got a little bit of a makeover, grew his hair a little, didn’t take himself so seriously, and added a comedic spin on his work? Look no further, Ian D Montfort is the answer. A character created by writer, actor, comedian, television and radio presenter, Tom Binns, Ian plays mind games with his audiences, sending them on a whirlwind adventure that they probably weren’t expecting.

Defined in his act as “spookily skilful, wonderfully observed and hysterically funny”, I spoke to Tom about triggering his inner medium, coping with his hectic schedule and knitting.

“The audience starts off thinking that I’m a medium as I’m taking the mickey out of people like John Edwards, and then after a few moments – maybe around five or six minutes of the show, I start to get ridiculously accurate...knowing everything about everyone in the audience. The thing is, the audience doesn’t know whether I can actually [talk to dead people], or if it’s all just a part of my act. That’s what the basis of the show is about, learning and knowing the tricks of the trade, and just tricking the audience, really.”

“It’s a legitimate jaw-dropping experience. It’s just another facet of my work which has come into my comedy show.”

“I take the mickey out of John Edwards, but he wasn’t the sole inspiration for the character of Ian. What I wanted to do, was I wanted to take the kind of mind magic that I do in the show, which is called mentalism, funny. Normally [mentalism is] very stressful, kind of dry, so I wanted to make the way that I go about doing it really funny. That was the original idea and then, from there, that’s where I came up with the idea for this medium character, so that I could get mind reading wrong and right, and people would pay money either way,” Tom laughs.

If you’re one that’s keen on a bit of mind-trickery and a chuckle, this may be just the thing. But don’t think that you’ll get through the show without a few shocks and surprises or, as Tom happily admits, a bit of confusion.

“I make sure my audience don’t always know what’s going on. A lot of people leave the show shaking their heads, not knowing what just happened, or a lot of people get into arguments on the way home about whether or not what they saw was real. People don’t quite believe [that my talents are] real, and we’ve had some close calls. At the [Adelaide] Fringe Festival, there have genuinely been people that have gone away thinking that I’m actually speaking to dead people – which I’m not. But the affect is so strong, that some people just believe it. Well, at least the people of Adelaide have believed that. I don’t know if the people of Melbourne will be quite as gullible.”

“I play with my audience. I start off by just making jokes, setting a light mood. Then I really get dark, and I think some people might even get scared [laughs]. When I feel like the audience is probably getting too freaked out, I’ll pick them up by making light-hearted jokes again, and then I just take them right back down. It’s fun to play with them.”

“It’s funny, ‘cause sometimes I get things frightfully accurate about members of the audience. You get some real moments of ‘Woah, is this actually happening?’ But it’s amazing how quickly people get used to my magic powers. Some kind of get to that point where they go ‘We’re onto you.’”

BY SIMONE ZIADA

Tom Binns performs Ian D Montfort: Spirit Comedium at Trades Hall from Thursday March 29 until Saturday April 21 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sundays). Tickets $26/$24 Fridays and Saturdays, $23/$20 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $20 for groups of six or more, $18 Tightarse Tuesdays, and $16 preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

A regular on The Project and an opinionated little shit stirrer on Can Of Worms, Tom has spent his last year gaining political presence. A strong presence in the Australian comedy scene, Tom is outspoken, energetic, and funny as hell.

When you really get down to it, we all ultimately want to make the world a better place. Tom Ballard sees the bigger challenge as trying to do this without being labelled a massive wanker.

After receiving rave reviews for his 2011 show, he is now returning to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in 2012 with a brand spanking new show about doing stuff to help things.

Tom claims indie cred by co-hosting the triple j Breakfast show every morning. In 2011, he took on the likes of Miranda Devine and Jeff Kennett and got generally pissed off about a lot of things. He now figures the only sensible thing to do is to head to Melbourne and figure it all out.

Don’t miss this new hour from one of Australia’s most exciting and gifted young comedians. It’s guaranteed to fix you.

Tom Ballard performs Doing Stuff at the Swiss Club from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sundays).

Tickets are $26 Saturdays, $26/$24 Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays, $22 Tightarse Tuesdays and $20 preview, from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

KATE MCLENNAN HOMEWARD BOUND

Kate McLennan has established herself as a must-see.

Charming and open, Kate blends stand-up with her awardwinning skills as a character comedian and narrative storyteller.

Kate returns to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with her first solo show in three years. Homeward Bound is a brand new show about family, breaking up, moving home and letting go. It was the talk of the Melbourne Fringe in 2011.

Last year Kate broke up with her boyfriend and moved back home with her folks. Home may seem like the best place to go when you have a broken heart; except perhaps when you have a dad who talks about his prostate too much, a sister who has just had a baby and is getting married and an aunty who thinks you should move on and ‘find someone with a ready-made family’…like ‘a lawyer with a dead wife.’

Homeward Bound is in equal parts hilarious and moving. This is a show for anyone who has a family…and for those who missed the hint that is absolutely everybody!

Kate McLennan performs Homeward Bound at the Victoria Hotel, 215 Little Collins St, from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays). It’s at 7.15pm from Tuesday-Saturday and 6.15pm on Sundays. Tickets are $20-$26 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

TOMMY LITTLE

A FISTFUL OF APOLOGIES “Just remember; no matter how wrong you are, you stick to your guns.” It’s a perfectly cromulent way to go through life - at least according to Tommy Little’s dad. Sure, Little long suspected that even his dad knew these weren’t the wisest words to follow, but he did it anyway, dammit! You know Little from Network 10’s The Project, you’ve seen him hosting Channel 31’s Studio A (although not any more - wish I’d known he’d been sacked before bringing it up in the interview, heh), and now you can see him in A Fistful of Apologies, which is effectively a handbook on how not to live.

“It’s essentially a show about being young and stuffing up, which I have uber amounts of experience in,” Little explains. “It’s not a show that’s going to tell you how to live your life, and it’s definitely not a show where you walk away going ‘So that’s the meaning of life.’ You walk away going ‘Jeez. That guy is a serious straggler.’ But hopefully you have fun doing it.” In fact, the promotional material for the show advises that Little doesn’t just engage in life - he drags it behind him, kicking and screaming.

The comedy of the uncomfortable has a long, fine tradition, and of course it’s the very fuel that powers iconic TV shows like The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Louis. It seems we all love to squirm just as much as we love to laugh. Little agrees. “Completely.

I and I think we should celebrate that. Let’s just revel in the shit of life! Success isn’t funny. Particularly in this country - as soon as someone’s successful you think ‘what a wanker!’ We are brutally self-deprecating in this country.”

In fact, one of Little’s pet hates is the way this is especially noticeable in the how we treat our politicians, and the way Australia reveres those who try to put themselves across as the everyman.

“When they say that, I think, well, why are you leading the country?

I want someone better than me! I mean, I’m an everyman. When I was 14 I went to a party and wore a condom the whole night just in case. We don’t want someone like me leading the country! I just want someone to put their hand up and say ‘Y’know what? I’m smarter than all you scumbags. Sit back and let me lead.’ And I’ll

be like, ‘Sweet. I’ll hold your pockets. Let’s do this.’ You don’t want someone who, when we’re at the world table, will say ‘Oh we’re just a meagre little country. We don’t have anything to offer’.”

Little’s show is about more than just self-deprecation and crippling self-inflicted setbacks. It’s about acknowledging those stuff-ups and letting go of that annoying little part of the brain that insists it’s right despite knowing full well that it’s really, really wrong. “It’s about when you look back on some things you did and you say ‘What was I thinking? How, at any point during that, did I think I was right?’ And sometimes I get too far into arguments before I realise I’m wrong, and it’s way too late to back down. Then people start arguing about things and you chime in with a figure: ‘No, I think China’s population is 20 billion.’ And then as soon as you say it you realise you’re way over your head.” Ah, yes, the point where someone is in uncharted factual waters and their ‘yeah’ becomes a little more tentative at each new ‘fact.’ “My brother just goes the complete aggressive other way: ‘Nah, you’re a dickhead’.”

BY PETER HODGSON

Tommy Little performs A Fistful Of Apologies at Arthur’s Bar at Rosati, from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.30pm (8.30pm Sundays). Tickets $24 Saturdays, $24/$22 Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays, $22 Tightarse Tuesdays, $20 previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Why should we see your show?

“ It was made right near you and it’s about you. Providing you are a man.” - David Quirk and Benn Bennett, Man Date

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BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

David Quirk & Benn Bennett

MAN-DATE

“Aussie laconic humour is alive and well”

THE AGE

SMART CASUAL

Directed by Heath McIvor

Just like any other date.

But with a massive lack of ladies.

BROKEN DREAMS ARTHUR’S BAR 9.30 PM

(SUNDAYS 8.30 PM)

9.45 PM TOWN HALL MELBOURNE

(SUNDAYS 8.45PM)

NOMINEE Best Comedy Award Adelaide Fringe 2012

NOMINEE Best Comedy Award Adelaide Fringe 2012

FELICITYWARD THE HEDG HEDGEHOG DILEMMA Seen on Seen on

SPICKS S PICKS & SPECKS SPECKS, GOD TTHANK HANK G OD YOU’RE Y O U’ R E HERE H ERE aand nd tthe he fi lm ANY ANY film

QUESTIONS Q UESTIONS FOR BEN? F OR B EN?

victoria hotel 9.4 5pm 9.45 p m (sundays (s u n days 8.45 8 .4 5 pm pm) DVD S AVAILABLE

The Forum 8.45 pm mar 29-apr 8 9.45 pm apr 10-apr 22

BEST SHOW WINNERS MELBOURNE COMEDY FESTIVAL

all shows: march 29-april 22 CHEAP PREVIEW TICKETS: MARCH 29-31 BOOK NOW: COMEDYFESTIVAL.COM.AU OR CALL 1300 660 013 MORE INFO: LAUGHINGSTOCK.COM.AU

GRAB SAMMY J & RANDY's DEBUT LIVE DVD, BIN NIGHT ONLY AVAILABLE AT SHOW OR ONLINE at www.laughingstock.com.au

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

27

JIM BREUER

LUKE HEGGIE MASTER OF NONE

Comedian. Dad. SNL alumni. Documentary maker. Goat Boy. Metalhead. Jim Breuer has done it all and he ain’t done yet.

From co-starring in the stoner classic Half Baked with Dave Chapelle in 1998 to hosting Metallica’s 30th Anniversary four-night run in San Francisco last year, Breuer is adaptable, affable, quick on his feet and hilarious. For the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Breuer will be performing at the Capitol Theatre, and he’s already in psyche-up mode. “It scares the daylights out of me,” Breuer says, sounding maybe a little panicked. “I’m not worried about a big venue, I’m worried about people coming! I see myself going ‘Now, why would I want to go and see somebody from another country, especially if I don’t know ‘em?’ So I’m definitely a little nervous about people showing up. I also know that Americans are not the most looked-up-to people in the world. I did a European tour last year, and I literally kept telling the kids how to be Canadian.”

Breuer sees his appeal as being universal, and maybe a bit offmodel from what those who know him from SNL or his earlier work might expect. “My style relates to everyone. I’m a very big storyteller, I’m a very animated storyteller, and there’s a lot of family stuff. I live in a multigenerational family. I have a 90-yearold World War II vet that I take care of in my house with the help of a nurse, I have an 85-year-old mother, I’ve got three kids, I’ve been married for 18 years. I would say I’m like a modern-day Cosby, except instead of a sweater I’m wearing a Metallica shirt and jeans. I think I’m the only guy out there that really kills on stage but yet you think I should be cursing and swearing up a storm, yet you leave realising ‘Wow, that guy didn’t say one bad word.’” Breuer puts this down to when he became a dad for the first time, and realising he wanted to be able to let his kids see his work.

Breuer looks back on his SNL days with a mix of nostalgia and … do I hear a hint of frustration? “It really doesn’t reflect anything on what I do stand-up wise. I got that show being a comedian, and I’m probably one of the only ones who really didn’t want to be on the show. They were very adamant about hiring me, and I really never had a dream of being on Saturday Night Live.

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When I got it, it was exciting and I had a good run. But at the end of the day I thrive on stand-up comedy.” So why didn’t SNL take the opportunity to give the cast their stand-up moments?

After all, that’s where most of them came from. “You know, that’s a brilliant question, and a very simple one. You almost make me want to produce a sketch show that allows the cast to do their stand-up. I would warm up every show doing standup. I’d do ten minutes to warm the crowd up, and I loved it.

There were times when I wouldn’t make the show, but I would just crush doing the stand-up. And it was sort of my ‘Oh yeah?

Well take that, because you’re not even going to see me during the show.’ But stand-up works, and what’s great too is it goes in waves and I think right now it’s on a pretty good wave on the way back.”

BY PETER HODGSON

Jim Breuer performs at RMIT Capitol Theatre on Friday April 20 at 9.30pm and Sunday April 22 at 8.30pm. Tickets $39 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and on the door.

~ curtincomedy.com ~

Andrew O'Neill The Other Alternative

29 march - 21 april 2012

{ 5pm sat 14th april }

Pop Up Playground Up Late

Adam Knox is All Washed Up

{ thursdays 9.30pm }

{ mon/tue/thur/fri/sat 6.30pm }

Fairly new comic and Raw Comedy National Winner in 2010, Luke Heggie will surprise you with his confidence. Watching Heggie perform you would think he had been doing stand-up for years. Dark and understated, Luke is absolutely hilarious.

Luke Heggie has had a lot of jobs; most of them bad. He’s never stuck at any of them long enough to get promoted.

Weclome Luke Heggie’s debut show: Master Of None.

Luke’s first stand up performance won him his Raw Comedy Heat. His second performance won him his Raw Comedy state final. His third the national Raw Comedy competition that year. Wow. Never breaking character Heggie remains deadpan from start to finish. You need no indication of when to laugh, the laughter will be overwhelming.

Sharp and punchy, Luke’s rhythm is superb. An utterly unique individual, Luke can make you cry with laughter with a scarce amount of words.

His promotion is as laconic as his comedic style: ‘go and see his debut solo show. It’s funny. No dickheads please’.

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L Luckily kil Luke L k needs d absolutely no talking up. He is truly a comedy master. Make sure you catch Master Of None.

Luke Heggie performs Master Of None at the Melbourne Town Hall and the Portland Hotel from March 29 – April 22. It’s at 8.15pm at the Melbourne Town Hall on Mondays. It’s at 8.30pm from Tuesday – Saturday and 7.30pm on Sundays at the Portland Hotel. Tickets are $15$20 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

FESTIVAL SHOWCASE EARLY SHOW

al Stuck on who to see at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival? We don’t blame you. 2012 offers you an n overwhelming amount of comedy greats so how could you u even begin to decide? Well the Festival Showcase Earlyy Show is here to help.

Dajam Productions & Exford Hotel presents a mini gala of at least four of the finest acts from festivals around the worlddh including Montreal, Edinburgh, Adelaide, Melbourne. Watch the best comedy acts perform short sets from their festival shows, then choose what to go and see later that night.

A revolution in comedy is coming to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival this year. Most punters go to the festival looking for a night’s entertainment, but are often not sure what to go and see. That is all about to change.

Don’t go anywhere without going to see the Early Show: Festival Showcase first. If you miss this show and get stuck seeing a really crappy act, don’t blame us. We tried to help.

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Guaranteed to be a sell out. Total Sell-Out at the Adelaide Fringe 2011.

The Festival Showcase Early Show will be on at the Exford Hotel from Wednesday March 28 – Sunday April 1. It’s at 6.30pm. Tickets are $15-$20 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013, Tixnofee, Ticketbush or at the door.

DEANNE SMITH LIVIN’ THE SWEET LIFE

Lisa-Skye LADYBONER { mon/tue/thur/fri/sat 7.45pm }

{ thursdays 10.45pm }

29 Lygon St, Melbourne

Book tickets at johncurtinhotel.com

Julz Hay Presents

Alternative Australian Tour 2012

Pony 7:30PM. 68 Lt Collins St

29th March- 22nd April (No shows Mondays and Tuesdays) www.ticketmaster.com.au or at the door.

She says she looks like a nerdy Justin Bieber, I say the love child of Tina Fey and Ira Glass, but either way DeAnne Smith is very damn funny. If Martina Hingis was the smiling assassin, then Smith is a satirical slayer or just caustically coy. Sure she can put it better than me? “I just do what I do and leave the descriptions up to other people,” Smith says. “I do like to have a bit of an edge, though. I like to deliver everything while smiling, I want to deliver certain ideas in a palatable way, I would say I try to feed the audience arsenic laced candy.” All of a sudden that photo of her holding lollypops and her flyer’s promise of free candy don’t seem so friendly.

Her show last year was a highlight of the festival earning her a Barry nomination and has been on the road since. “I have been all over the place, it has been real fun,” DeAnne says. “After Melbourne I went to Sydney and toured around for a while with the Comedy Festival Road show, it was all over the place.” Her blog best captures all the excitement of rural Victoria better than this interviewer ever could, take this gem when visiting Maffra: “Country footy is AMAZING. It’s got all the excitement of regular football, with none of the player scandals! You can barrack for your favourite team completely free of the moral dilemma that ensues in professional football, where barracking for your favourite team is kind of ruined by knowing exactly how many rape and assault charges its players have been brought up on in the previous six months. Country footy is just good, ol’ fashioned fun.”

Or for those up north: “Despite the name, Surfer’s Paradise doesn’t feel terribly paradise-like, unless your idea of paradise contains flashing neon lights, lots of offers for $9.99 cargo shorts, and quite a few novelty condom shops. Surfer’s Paradise is not unlike Meg Ryan’s face. Pretty, yes, but also overwhelmingly built up and commercial”.

“After that I went to Edinburgh for the first time, it was a sort of a Best of show called DeAnne Smith – The Best DeAnne Smith DeAnne Smith can be. I had a great run there. Went over to London, to the Yukon. I am living the sweet life, I am telling you.”

And now DeAnne is back at MICF. “I love Melbourne, I really do,” comes the obligatory, if honest sounding reply from Smith. “I love all the cafes but I guess that is what everyone says. I love trying to find hip little cafes down alleyways where you have to wiggle the correct brick under the full moon, speak to a guy with a plaid beard and then still sneak in.” That is a pretty accurate description of Melbourne cafes and bars I have to say. DeAnne started out in comedy by writing humorous articles online (hence that blog stuff earlier) but was struck by the itch to do more. “One time I was just thinking, ‘It would just be easier if I could just get up and say this stuff,” Smith says. “I found out it is not easier at ALL to just get up and say this stuff but it is a lot more fun. The show is based around, living the sweet life. This year I realised that I am in a position in the world where I can outsource personal hygiene, so I’m going to do that, I am going to pay people to remove my body hair. That, I feel, is a wonderful Western world marker of living the sweet life. I am lucky, I am pretty optimistic but I am optimistic and anxious, so I tend to think things are going to work out well but I panic until they do. I think candy is sweet but I am also aware of type 2 diabetes statistics. So the show is a little bit of optimism with a little bit of anxiety, some ukulele tunes and just a good time. One audience member does get chosen for special “sweet life” treatment through out the show and I will leave the rest a mystery.”

BY JACK FRANKLIN

DeAnne Smith performs Livin’ The Sweet Life at The Meeting Room, Trades Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays).

Tickets $25/$20 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and on the door.

Why should we see your show?

“We’re amongst the more handsome performers in the festival.” Max Attwood and Paul Culliver, In No Particular Order

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BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

29

STEVE HUGHES BIG ISSUES It’s hard to tell whether Steve Hughes is a genius or completely insane. Only one thing is for certain: he’s one funny bloke.

Speak to him about neutral topics—the weather, his evening, your thoughts—and he’ll call you darling (although perhaps not if you’re a dude). Speak to him about the establishment and f-bombs will rain from the phone like the weapons of mass destruction he believes “they” are concealing from us.

“They” come up a lot in Hughes vocabulary, whether “they” are the media, the government or some other manipulative establishment. After all, his show is called Big Issues.

Following a successful tour of the UK, Hughes is returning to Australia for the Melbourne International Comedy, during which he’ll pick apart the world in which we live while spitting on political correctness. According to Hughes, he simply “… make(s) whinging funny, like all good Australians should.”

Hughes’ reasons for dropping the drums (he used to play in various heavy metal bands) and moving to the UK for standup is multifaceted. “I was already funny… and I wanted to get out of Australia,” he explains. But before all you patriots wearing cork hats, holding VB stubbies and petting koalas boo and hiss, Hughes has creative justification for leaving our land of golden soil.

“I wanted to do something creative where I didn’t have to rely on compromising, which you have to do in bands... You have to get out of Australia, I believe, if you want to do some things… There are so many bands that have been around for 20-odd years in Australia and they’re all good, but they can just go above a certain level, because there just isn’t the structure and the people. If you want to do something artistic at that level, its just not there,” says Hughes of Australia.

His less serious side comes out when he describes a “dislocation” in Australia, where we are “white Europeans living in a black man’s country in Asia”. That’s the beauty about much of what Hughes spurts—it’s funny, but it’s also

IDIOTS OF ANTS

true. One of the most brilliant things about Hughes is his ability to passionately rant about an issue and end on a humorous note. For example: “I think everybody gets attacked with so much information that the mind actually becomes apathetic just because you can’t make a decision.

It’s called ‘future shock’. They bombard the public with so much information that eventually, your mind through its own fucking condition and nature, begins to give up, because it’s too much fucking shit to fathom any kind of concept out of the miasma of fucking conflicting fucking ideas. So you end up going, okay, I’ll watch Strictly Come Dancing...”

It’s these kind of yarns that have caused the media to dub Hughes a ‘social commentator’. Anyone can be a social commentator these days, but people prefer to hear it from Hughes because he makes light of the serious issues. That being said, he would never impose his views on anyone.

After all, as he admits himself, he might be wrong. Ironically, Hughes would probably make a fantastic politician, although he’d never consider it. As he admits freely, “I hate normal jobs with a passion beyond comprehension.”

BY SOFIA LEVIN

Steve Hughes performs Big Issues at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday April 19 until Saturday April 21 at 9.15pm. Tickets $28/$25 , $25 for groups of six or more, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

With over 10 million YouTube views of their Facebook In n Real Life and Wii Breakfast sketches, a successful BBC C Radio series, appearances on TV around the world, and performing at the Montreal Just For Laughs Comedy Festival alongside Jimmy Carr, Ross Noble and John Cleese, it is about time they made a trip down under.

Since forming in 2007, Idiots Of Ants (Andrew Spiers, James Wrighton, Elliott Tiney and Benjamin Wilson) have gone on to completely sell-out five Edinburgh Festival shows and a West End run and perform at comedy clubs and festivals across the world. These reigning champions of ‘consistent awesomeness’ have a knack of unpicking seemingly ordinary facets of day-to-day life and looking at them afresh to reveal their absurdity.

Prepare to witness the most bizarre revelation of World War 2, find out where dads-to-be learn how to tell terrible jokes, and, ladies, discover what really happens in the male toilets.

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It’s th the at the Festival with a sketch performed It’ h only l show h entirely in German (don’t worry, there’s subtitles).

Make sure you catch this unique blend of fast paced sketch comedy.

Idiots Of Ants will be performing at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.30pm (7.30pm Sundays). Tickets are $29.50 Saturdays, $29.50/$25 Fridays, $28/$25 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $23 previews, and $24.50 for groups of eight or more from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

JOSH EARL JOSH EARL IS XXX

Whimsical, cheeky, and sincere, Josh Earl finds a beautiful balance between childish and intellectual. He has supported Arj Barker, Rod Quantock, and is a Spicks And Specks regular.

Josh is no newbie at charming audiences.

Comedian. Librarian. Cake enthusiast. Adult? Josh Earl is XXX (thirty, not dirty). Having fit more into the last three years than the first 27 years combined, Josh has finally grown up, whether he wanted to or not.

Josh’ 2010 show Josh Earl vs The Australian Women’s Weekly Children’s Birthday Cake Cookbook received rave reviews.

Josh has an ability to connect with audiences on a personal level. His subject selection is affective. People of all ages seem to know exactly what he is talking about, immediately recognising the feeling or moment he so poignantly describes.

While his material is hardly groundbreaking, his boyish charm encapsulates audiences and brings life to everyday occurrences. His wit and fabulous timing earns him consistent laughs for a solid hour. His sporadic songs are tuneful and jocular.

Find out what turning 30 has meant for Josh, and why Australian audiences already love him.

Josh Earl performs Josh Earl is XXX at the Arthur’s Bar from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sunday). It’s at 7pm from Tuesday – Saturday and 6pm on Sundays. Tickets are $21-$25 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

SAMMY J & RANDY THE INHERITANCE

Sammy J (aka Samuel Jonathan McMillan) is often praised for being one of our most creative comedians, but he prefers to view that drive to remain fresh and innovative in his typically modest manner. “I’m really just constantly running away from having to get a real job,” says Sammy.

“That provides endless motivation. A whole batch of legal graduates from the years that I was studying law have huge holes in their knowledge ’cause I was in the class annoying them.”

The Inheritance is the fourth collaboration between Sammy J and Randy, the purple puppet (aka Heath McIvor). In Sammy J & Randy’s new show at the MICF, Randy discovers that he’s heir to an enormous fortune. “We were trying to come up with the most ambitious storyline that we could,” explains the genial Melbourne comedian. “We decided it would be fun to take Sammy and Randy to England on an adventure and we achieved that within three minutes of the show starting. We don’t muck around in this,” he laughs.

It didn’t take long for Sammy to realise that working with Heath would create some comedic magic. “Probably the first time I met Randy was at a comedy gig in Melbourne where Randy was the MC for the night and I was one of the acts,” Sammy recalls. “We had a little bit of banter off stage together, so I actually met Randy before I met Heath,” he laughs, “and we just struck a chord. Watching Randy perform myself, I thought it was hilarious and I still do, so I get to be an audience member as well as a performer when I’m on stage with Randy. I have the advantage that if I have an argument with Heath, I can still be friends with Randy, of course.”

The strength of their comedic partnership saw them win the highest award in Australian comedy, The Barry Award, in 2010. “It was really cool – we were quite alarmed,” Sammy admits. “We still consider ourselves quite new to the whole game of comedy, so it felt odd to have suddenly been put into that tradition, but it was great and something to put on

the poster at least....

“I think most of my sense of humour can be traced back to Lano & Woodley, The D-Generation and Shaun Micallef who I grew up watching back at school,” says Sammy of his comedy heroes. “They’re normally the benchmarks we use to reference a joke; to try and compare it to that standard that we’re trying to set.”

Sammy J & Randy continue to captivate audiences with their endearing charm and flashes of madness. How much of it reflects Sammy’s own personality? “I think the last few years I’ve felt much more comfortable on stage and owning what I find funny,” Sammy ponders, “whereas in the early years I think like a lot of people I tried to emulate other people. Particularly with Randy, we enjoy having the light and the shade, and having a few moments of sentiment and then dropping the f-bomb constantly. You sort of walk that line – we never try to offend anyone; it’s just that we don’t happen to find swearing offensive, for example, in our own lives.”

BY CHRISTINE LAN

SAMMY J & RANDY perform The Inheritance at The Forum from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 8 at 8.30pm (7.30pm Sundays) and Tuesday April 10 until Sunday April 22 at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets $32/$28 on Fridays and Saturdays, $28/$25 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $22 for Tightarse Tuesdays and groups of six or more, and $20 previews. Tickets from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and on the door.

Why should we see your show?

“Because I promise hearing about my life will make you feel better about yours.” - Nathan Valvo, Walk Of Shame

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31

PAUL FOOT STILL LIFE “Yessssssssss,” answers Paul Foot in a borderline creepy/ arousing tone from his hotel phone in Adelaide, a few days since he arrived from his home in England. “Hey Paul…did I wake you?” I ask, at 12.30pm. “No, no, you haven’t woken me up, no,” he responds. “What have you been up to?” I hit back in our thus far masterful match of verbal tennis. “Sleeping,” he yawns.

Physically, Paul Foot commands your fascination. His haircut, very short on top and long at the sides and back, is aesthetically challenging although it somehow suits his charmingly hilarious persona. The man is just downright lovable. He’s the sort of comedian that you find yourself laughing at regardless of what they say.

I query Paul as to a Facebook post of his in December of last year in which he posts a legitimate photo of ‘Australia’s Highest Post Box’ – an icon that was ‘Australia’s most tragic and utterly pathetic tourist attraction,’ he wrote.

“Well, it’s not very high is it?” he mocks.

This year’s show – Still Life – features what Foot has labelled as ‘Glimpses’. Hints of some of these Glimpses include Clumsy Prostitute, Pineapple-themed Shop, Cheddar Collection and Wedding Shop. But don’t request any of his previous material – including his classic thoughts on how we’re always socially obliged to comment on the moistness of cake and his criticism of ‘baby on board’ signs. “[The] thing about my writing is that I just do something, and then I just abandon it and leave it forever. A few years ago I did a lot of writing about my cake being moist thing, I forayed into, for lack of a better word, more conventional observational world of comedy, obviously doing it in my own way, but I don’t do that anymore. It’s gone. I’ve abandoned it, and now my ranting about cake and baby on board signs – gone”.

The fact that his previous show, Ash In The Attic, was directed by fan and friend Noel Fielding, along with Foot’s influence – especially his eccentric hair and mannerisms – on Russell

JEFF GREEN FATHER OF MEN Brand, elucidates at least some degree of the respect and recognition Foot holds in the industry.

“The things I do in my show are so weird, they’re really very abstract. I certainly see my life as having been a journey from being a completely different person to the person I started off as, or certainly the adult I started off as when I was 18. I’m certainly nothing like that. In terms of the things I laugh at in life, that tells us very little about my show, in the sense that normally when I come in for shows I don’t normally watch comedy in my off-duty moments, it’s more like work, and I don’t really like comedy very much so I just tend to watch murder mysteries. If I do watch comedy, I watch very silly unsophisticated things like those home video programs where people trip over things and wedding dresses being pulled off at weddings and things like that. So [when] I laugh at a human being – if you can call it comedy – it’s utterly unsophisticated, and bears very little relation to the comedy I do onstage”.

Foot is somewhat guarded when it comes to talking about his show, explaining, “When I do a show, in my [online] diary, I just say, ‘I did my show and it was nice’ and I give very little away about what I thought of the show, because one must never reveal such things”.

BY NICK TARAS

Seriously, don’t miss the very funny and particularly peculiar Paul Foot at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (Sundays 8.45pm). Tickets $31 Fridays and Saturdays; $29.50 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays; $25.50 Tightarse Tuesdays; $25.50 Concession; $28.50 groups of eight or more and $25 previews from Ticketmaster online, Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 or at the door.

UK comedian Jeff Green is a comedy veteran, having graced Spicks and Specks, Good News Week, and numerous Melbourne International Comedy Festivals and Galas- you are in safe hands with the amicable Jeff Green and his new show Father Of Men. Jeff’s shows are a kaleidoscope of jokes, piercing insights and exquisite misdirections. His delivery fast, unrelenting, those eyes twinkling. Laughter snowballs leaving you struggling to breathe as you watch a man out of his depth struggle vainly against the arresting bonds of family, life and his malodorous new cat.

Jeff’s achievements are endless. He is a best-selling author, he has hosted radio, he has frequented television shows with celebrity appearances. Regardless, you haven’t seen Jeff until you have seen him on stage. He is utterly radiant.

His educated quips at Melbourne are softened with great affection. His gags about fatherhood have an oddly nuanced disposition. Jeff covers material you know, while somehow avoiding a stale, clichéd feeling. His material is accessible, cheeky, and utterly endearing.

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Jeff Green performs Father Of Men at Swiss Club (Mondays at Melbourne Town, 8.15pm) from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays). Tickets are $32/$25, $27 for groups of six or more, $24 Tightarse Tuesday and $22 preview, available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

GREG FLEET

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HEROES

As this is Greg Fleet’s 24th Melbourne International Comedy Festival, it is fairly safe to state that Fleet knows comedy.

Cogent and polished, Greg Fleet has earned his comedy veteran status. Once again Fleet returns to the show with the brand new Heroes.

Mr Humanity, one of the greatest super heroes the world ever knew. With glory days but a memory, and a shadow of his former self, Mr Humanity sits in a hotel room wondering what his life was all about when the phone rings…

Fleet is back with his classic narrative stand-up comedy. His childhood love of heroes forms the basis for his new show.

This noble yearning for heroic status will reign true for many.

Fleet distinguishes himself from many comedians through his palpable fondly feelings toward his audience. This adoration is reciprocal and creates a safe atmosphere that allows for many, many laughs.

Fleet’s years on television and radio secure an element of expert to the performance.

Greg Fleet’s Heroes may not save Melbourne from a diabolical villain, but it is worth checking out. Outer underwear: encouraged but entirely optional.

Greg Fleet performs Heroes at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.30pm (8.30pm Sundays).

Tickets are $29/$24, $25 for groups of six or more, $20 for Tightarse Tuesdays and preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

SARAH

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KENDALL PERSONA

In a time-honoured tradition, the most talented Australians always depart our fair shores to shine on bigger and brighter stages overseas. Stand-up comedian Sarah Kendall was no different. She made a name for herself with her intelligent and thoughtful comedy. In 2001 she tackled the sombre topic of military battle with her sophisticated wit in War. The following year, she presented Well Balanced, which also saw her win the Herald Angel award in Edinburgh.

More shows, coupled with television appearances followed, but love and the more lucrative comedy circuit in the UK lured this Novocastrian away, with her last performance on Australian soil being back in 2004.

She makes a welcome return to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival this year with her new show Persona.

Now married to the man she left Australia for and mother to their two year old daughter, in her absence Kendall has continued to make appearances at international festivals, collecting rave reviews and appearing on British radio and TV. Her most recent television work was the all-female sketch show, Beehive, before falling pregnant and taking a break from live work. “I sort of took about three years out and it wasn’t by design. It was just after doing a (TV) show and then doing the whole motherhood thing, I suddenly realised I hadn’t done stand up for about three years,” she states from a hotel room in Sydney, where she’s been filming a couple of episodes for The Chaser’s new panel game show.

“I’ve really enjoyed coming back to stand-up,” she says of her return to the stage six months ago. “I feel like I’ve got a much fresher perspective on it. I feel slightly like a different person, which is good because you do run the risk of stagnating and doing the same kind of stuff. Taking time out and doing some TV and having a family, I do feel like it’s really invigorated me,” she says.

Why should we see your show?

It’s also changed what she wants to talk about. She’s been working on brand new material recently, not only to work up the content of Persona, which has been further honed in Adelaide and Brisbane ahead of this festival, but also because “my old jokes just felt wrong”. Feeling like she was performing someone else’s material, she ditched the lot and started again.

For Kendall, more than ever before, she wants her shows to mean something.

“I can’t just be cracking jokes. It’s gotta mean something to me personally so I think this is the first time I’ve probably been a lot more blatant in my politics,” she says. And so far, audiences have embraced it, much to her relief. “I’m so pleasantly surprised by how it really does strike a chord,” she says. “The stuff has an immediacy about it because I don’t have the time (anymore) to spend three hours in the middle of the day wondering about sharks flying through the air or more abstract concepts. I think I might be slightly more tethered to the real world now”.

BY JOANNE BROOKFIELD

Sarah Kendall performs Persona at Victoria Hotel, from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 at 7.15pm (6.15pm Sunday). Tickets $29 Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, $24 Wednesdays and Thursdays, $20 Tightarse Tuesdays from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

“I give birth to myself nightly” - Sean Kempton, Dirty Mimes

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MARK WATSON

THE INFORMATION In 2004, in his famous rapid fire style in which the audience struggles to keep up with his vivacious comedic pacing, Mark Watson performed his first 24 hour show, punctuated by him proposing to his girlfriend at the conclusion. Two years later, he performed a 36 hour show and throughout the festival – with assistance from the audience – attempted to write a novel titled Mark Watson, And His Audience, Write A Novel.

At the time of interview, Mark’s favourite team, Bristol City Football, appeared to be glued down in the relegation zone, which if you don’t know football, basically means they’re fucking terrible. Luckily, his brother Paul is currently the head coach of Micronesia’s national football team – ranked one of the worst in the football.

“I’m slightly alarmed by [Bristol’s] situation. We’re looking very poor at the moment. We’ve got a good coach, but he seems to be under resourced. My brother I’m sure would be the perfect person to step into the situation. He doesn’t have any experience in managing in England, but obviously he is an international manager which is more than our current coach can say; it’s more than most of them can say. So yeah I’ve got him on hand in case it gets to an emergency, which to be honest is not far away from being at the moment.”

Watson is keenly awaiting his return to Australia for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, and his familiarity with the country has enabled humorous dissection of Australian conversational habits.

“When I talk about phrases and conversational things I’ve heard it tends to always be based on my own experience.

I think the most common British stereotypes of Australians are pretty unhelpful. They tend to be based on Crocodile Dundee or Neighbours, or adverts for Foster’s. [The stereotypes I hear] are always real things, but having said that, I haven’t always got a way of knowing if Aussies are talking for real or talking in parody of themselves. When I first came to Australia a few years ago, everyone was obsessed with Kath & Kim it seemed, so I had quite a lot of female friends in Australia who would be constantly using phrases from Kath

JOEL CREASEY NAKED & Kim and talking in that sort of weird slightly bogan way, as a sort of homage to that show. Since I’ve never seen Kath & Kim, it took a long time to work out what was real and what was people just doing that show”.

Watson’s latest show – The Information – examines his experience with identity theft in 2011 in which he was robbed (but later recuperated) in an online banking identity fraud.

“I got some money stolen from my online account. Someone hacked into it and managed to persuade the bank that they were me. I did get the money back in the end but it’s a weird experience to have someone pose as you, and actually be forged like that, and it made me think about sort of the nature of the internet age and how someone can so easily get your details and stuff. That was the starting point of the show.

The show looks at the slightly disturbing way that information can spread these days.”

“This is not a word that I really use but I’m fond of the word ‘douchebag’ at the moment. It’s such an American word, and you feel really strange saying it here because it’s such a specifically American word, but I think that’s why I like it. It sounds so weird in the English accent, but it kind of makes a big impact. I’ve only really seen it written down, and you hear Americans say it from time-to-time, but it’s nice to take up a hobby; maybe my new word this year can be ‘douchebag’, so I’m going to use it as much as possible”.

BY NICK TARAS

Mark Watson will perform The Information at The Forum from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.15pm (8.15pm Sundays). Tickets $38/$34; $34 for groups of eight or more; $30 Tightarse Tuesdays and $27.50 for previews. Bookings through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 or at the door.

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After being nominated Best Newcomer at Melbourne Comedy Festival and following that internationally acclaimed Political Animal show’s sold out status, there is no doubt Joel is our hottest rising star of comedy.

Joel is afraid of a lot. Be it snakes, heights or Tony Abbott... you’ll usually find Joel cowering behind the couch.

But one thing Joel hates more than anything is nudity.

Which is stupid. We’ve all got ‘one’.

So come join Joel as he gets naked, conquers his fears and reveals all.

An absolute pop culture whore, Joel manages to execute infinite snide remarks that are consistently hilarious. Joel does bitchy with absolute brilliance.

Dauntless and daring, Joel holds nothing back to great success. At times you wonder ‘did he seriously go there’?

But the sheer sassiness of Joel leaves your devilish streak hungry for more.

Joel is absolutely bursting with charisma and commands

MATT OKINE

BEING BLACK S#%T

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attention for the entire duration of his shows shows.

Joel is a guilty pleasure that you simply must check out. Go on, get Naked (tickets). You know you want to.

Joel Creasey performs Naked at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays, 9.30pm Mondays). Tickets are $22/$18, $15 Tightarse Tuesdays and previews, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

CHICKEN &

Culminating in a dawn showdown between himself and a very cranky mud-crab, Matt Okine’s debut solo show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is not to be missed!

Nominee for Time Out Sydney Comedy Festival Local Show of the Year, Matt Okine is somebody to keep an eye out for.

Beginning his career as a Triple J RAW finalist in 2004, Matt has been on NBC’s hit show, Last Comic Standing, sold out shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and was most recently nominated for the prestigious Sydney Comedian of the Year.

Matt has written, produced and performed in a short film.

More recently he co-created and starred in the awardwinning webseries The Future Machine.

Matt has absolutely stormed the Australian comedy scene.

Now he returns to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival to talk about Being Black & Chicken & S#%t.

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Matt Okine performs Being Black & Chicken & S#%t at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.30pm (8.30pm Sundays). Tickets $19/$15 Fridays and Saturdays, $15 Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $10 previews, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

STEELE

SAUNDERS THE CAT'S MEOW

Imagine loving your cat so much, you decide to base a comedy show around it. In all fairness, that’s not quite what comedian Steele Saunders is doing at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Instead, he’s structured a show inspired by his Persian pal because Jerry (his cat) made him realise how much he dislikes people. But why does he hate them so openly?

“You’ve met them, you know what they’re like!” he says matterof-factly. “[The show] is about how I love my cat so much, but that’s only because the standards have been lowered so much by people… they have to pick up the pace to catch up to their furry friends.” Fair enough.

Saunders doesn’t necessarily advise against dog lovers attending his aptly titled show, The Cat’s Meow, although he does advise that dogs should be left at home. This doesn’t mean people can bring their cats. In Saunders’ words, people who do are “idiots”, and no, he will not be bringing Jerry, because he wouldn’t get anything done. “We’d just stare at him and point and go ‘awww, look at him, he just blinked, awww’,” explains Saunders.

Saunders hasn’t always been a cat man. It’s only since Jerry decided to move in, that he’s been filled “with this thing they call joy”. The attribute Saunders likes the most about cats is their honesty. “If you’re patting a cat and he’s having a good time, once he’s done with you he doesn’t sit there to make you feel good, he’ll bite you and walk off. I respect that.”

Although Saunders hasn’t managed to make Jerry laugh yet—let alone crack a smile—he’s excited for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. In typical self-deprecating Saunders style (apparently “getting around and being happy for yourself” is for dog owners), he’s looking forward to seeing all the other acts, especially American comedian Andy Kindler.

“He’s one of the funniest people in the world. If you want to come with me to see him, just come on any night because I’m going to go every time. He’s so funny and so original; I might bring Jerry along for that one,” gushes Saunders.

It is practically a scientific fact that all cat lovers have a

favourite cat video on YouTube. Saunders’ is no exception: “There’s one (video), I don’t know what it’s called, where a cat watches Star Wars… and he is so amped. It’s pretty awesome.” Said video was unearthed after a quick search (which equates to an hour on YouTube once you succumb to distraction) and is definitely one for those who like a side of Star Wars with their felines, like Saunders.

As for The Cat’s Meow, Garfield is yet to get in touch about any copyright issues, although Saunders admits he’s probably too busy complaining about Mondays to worry about his show. On the topic of complaining, Saunders also does a podcast called I Love Green Guide Letters, which revolves around taking the piss out of people who write complaints to the Green Guide with the addition of special guests. Every Saturday at 3pm during the Comedy Festival, you can head to Spleen Bar and watch the mockery live.

With such a busy schedule, there’s nothing Saunders loves more than coming home to Jerry. “I get home and hug him.

He purrs and it’s like a drug… but in saying that, how often do you have to beg your drug dealer to come out from under the bed for a hug?”

BY SOFIA LEVIN

Steele Saunders performs The Cat’s Meow at Spleen Bar, between Wednesday March 28 and Sunday April 22 (except Mondays and Fridays) at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays). Tickets $16/$12, or $10 for groups of five or more, from Moshtix and on the door.

Why should we see your show?

“Two great UK comedians Jimmy McGhie and Joe Rowntree, at the top of their game, young good looking and hand selected by one of Australia’s most renowned comedy producers, and me John Fothergill, a regular at London Comedy Store and a battered 20 year veteran of the international comedy circuit whom I suggest you see before the Australian hospitality on this year’s tour finally kills me. You’ll be glad you came.” - John Fothergill, Bulmers Best of the Ed Fest

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ADAM ETHAN CROW THE EVOLUTION OF CROW Adam Ethan Crow’s style has changed a lot in the last couple of years. He used to do regular observational comedy but switched to darker and more soul-searching shows. He’s found that mining past trauma for laughs has created a deeper connection with audiences.

His new show, The Evolution of Crow, is billed as part motivational seminar, part confession booth. He explains that he and his former girlfriend of eight years broke up after he discovered she had been unfaithful.

“It was like I’d been gut punched,” he said.

“And then I analysed it, and looked at myself a little bit, and all the relationships I’ve had and who I really became, and some of it probably was my fault. And so The Evolution of Crow is really me analysing who she was, who I was, how [in] our relationship the bloom had left the rose, as it were, towards the end.”

It also made him think about other relationships, including past exes and friends, and how he could have invested in them more.

His show last year was even heavier, featuring another ex who died from an overdose and an absent father with archaic views on race relations.

“My dad’s a proper South African Boer. My best friend from university is Jamaican. And my best friend from university married my sister. But my dad wasn’t here, he went back to South Africa when I was ten, and he spoke to Mark on the phone and gave his blessing.”

“But Mark went to public school, so if you saw him, dreadlocks out, looking tough, you’d think, ‘Oh my God, I’m getting mugged.’ But if you heard him…” Crow’s voice changes from knockabout London bloke to posh Englishman to explain what his well-educated Jamaican friend sounded like on the phone.

“He didn’t come over to the actual wedding. Fifteen years ago we sent him the photo album and not one member of my immediate family has heard back from my dad since.”

It’s heavy stuff but he’s noticed audience members connecting better with his new style. It’s also a big change from his earlier years in stand-up.

“I was like any other comic out there, putting on jeans too skinny, and pointing things out that everybody recognised. Like, ‘Hey, you

JASON CHONG JASON CHONG’S MUM

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Fresh from an 18-month tour of his award winning Il Dego show, Jason Chong returns to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with a brand new show. You know Jason from The Project, Today, The Footy Show, NOVA and SAFM, now get to know Jason Chong’s Mum. The fact that Jason Chong has named his show Mum solely for the fact that he enjoys the idea of people being able to request “two tickets to Jason Chong’s Mum”, is a testament to Jason’s quintessential comedic outlook.

‘You’re welcome,’ he writes about the little giggle he has begifted his audiences with upon ordering their tickets.

Watching Jason do his thing is a pleasure, I have seen people excrete both tears and mucus from intense, unrelenting fits of laughter.

His defiant energy is utterly compelling, his storytelling superb.

Chong’s 2011 show Real Life featured him discussing ‘Chongplicity’ with two other projections of himself. His originality is widely acclaimed, yet he is masterful at even the most basic comedy practices like timing.

k know when h you’re ’ on a train, and the train next to you starts to move, and for a split second you’re not sure if your train’s moving?’”

“Hey, you know what it’s like when you wake up and your girlfriend’s had a bad dream about you, and she wakes up angry?”

He’s fine with that kind of show, he explains, but now he’s trying to do something different. “I don’t like chocolate but that doesn’t mean chocolate’s bad. What I’m trying to do now is talk about things that I genuinely have a passion about.

JACQUES BARRETT

BY ELIZABETH REDMAN

Dark and outrageous, Jacques Barrett is a definite rising star.

Critically acclaimed Jacques is thoroughly engaging and his superior performance skills help him own the stage from the moment he appears.

From the onset of puberty every man is an organism at war with itself... A battle waged between the expectations of a civilised society and a million years of evolutionary biological hardwiring.

For 18 years Jacques Barrett has been in a war of attrition with his penis and at 31 he’s coming out the other side.

Jacques returns to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with Man vs Dick. His new show looks at the major battles and strategy of his war. This is a show for those who have a dick, are a dick, or spend time with a dick. Ladies who rarely spend time with a dick, never fear as there are promises of talk about Lady Gardens also.

“This will be way more intelligent than you think, and funny,” Jacques promises.

Adam Ethan Crow will perform The Evolution Of Crow at Roxanne from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 21 (except Wednesday April 4, 11 and 18) at 7.45pm (6.45pm Sundays).

Tickets $20/$10 ($10 Tightarse Tuesdays) from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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Jason Chong is ingenious, you simply must get inside Chong’s Mum. Go on, there’s room for hundreds.

Jason Chong performs Jason Chong’s Mum at the Upstairs Lounge @ Hairy Little Sista from Tuesday April 10 – Sunday April 22. It’s at 10.15pm from Tuesday – Sunday. Tickets are $15-$20 and are available from jasonchong.com.au/tickets and at the door.

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MAN VS DICK

Ladies, men, and dicks – come one, come all and check out Jacques Barrett’s show Man vs Dick.

Jacques Barrett performs Man vs Dick at Softbelly Bar, from Monday April 9 until Sunday April 22 at 7pm (6pm Sundays). All tickets $15 from trybooking.com and at the door.

DAN WILLIS

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FERRIS BUELLER’S WAY OF I’ve gone through the movie and found the philosophies that make Ferris Bueller happy, and I’ve tried to relate them to the real world and to think, “What would Ferris do in the real world in this situation?”

“It’s probably my favourite movie from when I was a kid,” Willis explains. “It was just like, ‘wow, that’s how to spend a day.’ It’s also a good way of learning how to treat people, because at no point in the movie is Ferris a dickhead to anyone. He knows how to treat dickheads as dickheads.” So throughout the show, Willis applies the movie’s lessons to his own life and the lives of others.

The show has played at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and the Adelaide Fringe Festival. It includes clips from the movie to illustrate Willis’s various points, and everyone gets a free ‘What Would Ferris Do?’ badge at the end. It’s all a bit feel-good, isn’t it? “I love talking about stuff I really enjoy,” he explains. “I’ve done shows about Michael Jackson, on computers, feel-good music… so Ferris is my movie show, although I am kind of tempted to do one on Ghostbusters!”

Ooh! Ghostbusters 2? That ooze was badass. “Well I love both of the Ghostbusters movies. I spent more time thinking about the first movie because I was younger when I saw that. I saw it every week for three weeks in a row. But Ferris Bueller I had to watch on VHS at home because it was a 15+ movie.” Oh please do a Ghostbusters show next year. Please? “I think I might. That’s how I work - I choose a subject matter and I just start writing on it. And it’s fun, because you’re writing about something you’re passionate about, and then you advertise it to other people who are passionate about it, and it’s just really good fun.”

In fact, the one thing that Willis seems to have a negative attitude about is …negative comedy. “Too many people think you need to do rape jokes, death jokes, putting people down… but I like people to walk out of my show smiling from having

a good time.” Having said that, he admits to destroying the odd heckler if need be. “I have the ability to tell someone where to go, but I just want people to enjoy the hour and come back next year. There are some comedians who do the negative stuff brilliantly, like Doug Stanhope. And I saw some comedians in Adelaide - who are quite cuddly and nice - attempting to do kind of dark material, and I thought, ‘you can’t sell that. I don’t believe you! You’re just doing it because you want to be dark and mysterious!’”

Willis’s aforementioned Michael Jackson show of a few years ago was written before the singer’s untimely death, and the comedian felt a little bit iffy about performing it afterwards, worried fans would think he was taking the piss. Not so. “I was just a really huge Michael Jackson fan, and it was just a show about that. The fans that came loved it, and I think I’ll rewrite it and do it again.”

BY PETER HODGSON

Dan Willis performs Ferris Bueller’s Way Of from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 21 at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays). Tickets $20/$15, $15 for groups of four or more from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Why should we see your show?

“It’s brutal, honest, moving, clever, funny and so help me God it took 26 years to write. “ - John Robertson

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The Famous

Spiegel Season

On now until 22 April

Christa Hughes Beer Drinking Woman

Singing Stories

Tango Milonga

Sunshine Sisters feat Emma Donovan and King Kadu, James Henry, Paulo Almeida and Saritah

Tango lesson plus band

A cocktail of 1920’s bravado and intoxicating voice

2 April

7 April

Georgia Fields

Gypsy Punk

Indie-pop songstress peforms on a grand piano accompanied by her incredible string section

Barons of Tang ands Crooked Fiddle Band

16 April

9 April

Daniel Kitson Where Once Was Wonder Arts Centre Melbourne, Playhouse

28 March – 15 April

21 April

Over 200 shows in The Famous Spiegeltent showcasing cabaret, live music and comedy Book online or call 1300 182 183

artscentremelbourne.com.au BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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WIL

ANTHONY SALAME

ANDERSON WILARIOUS

Hours before I speak to Wil Anderson, he hears the news from Hollywood that big budget action director Michael Bay will be filming a remake of the cult ‘80s/’90s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. This is not good news for Wil. “I mean what a fucking idiot. Seriously it’s just like he wants to dig up everything I liked in my teen years like Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and just fuck them in the arse.

In fact that will be more entertaining, if it was just an hour and a half of Michael Bay, actually no not him fucking in the arse, I want an hour and a half of Michael Bay getting fucked in the arse, and then perhaps I’ll feel good about the fact that he’s pissed all over my childhood. I’m sure next he’s just going to make a movie where Alf the alien fucks Punky Brewster and then he can just say, ‘Well there you go. Everything you liked when you were younger…finally fucked up’. I mean Michael Bay’s the guy who never had an original idea in the first place, but fuck me, like seriously mate could you just stop fucking things people got right the first time,” he screams, unable to contain his laughter.

“In the comedy festival, my rule is: if the poster has a different name on it, it’s a different show to the show you saw last time.

That’s my guarantee to people....Here’s how I look at material, if you can imagine it like a pair of jeans. When you buy a new pair of jeans, they’re hard at the start because you’ve been wearing your old pair of jeans for ages and they’ve become really comfortable and they fit you well and you know you look good in them… but if I’m wearing the same pair of jeans as I was wearing in 1985, you can tell those jeans are from 1985.

They’re comfortable but they’re not who I am now, and that’s what jokes are like. There’s a joke in this show – I used to have this bit about kids on leashes – but there’s a whole routine in this show [about] me changing my mind on that idea. As I’ve got older, I’ve changed my mind about what I think about that.”

Wil’s new show – Wilarious – is squeezed into his schedule that includes working on Gruen Planet, podcast TOFOP and countless other media ventures; it’s surprising he has time

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STRAIGHT UP for stand-up comedy at all. Perhaps if he had to choose a superpower, the ability to stop time would be most convenient.

“I like superheroes but I’m not sure the idea of having a superpower is that convenient. In fact it’s surprisingly enough mentioned in the new show, there’s a bit about where I complain about a certain superpower I thought I was getting from an operation I was having and how inconvenient it would be having a superpower. To be honest, once you have a superpower you’re kinda like, ‘ Yeah alright’. Once you have a superpower then suddenly every time you’re at a fucking party, your superpower goes off, you have to go and fight crime. You know what I mean? It’s a pain the arse. I mean feel busy already…I’m already fucking flat out, I just can’t jam a superpower also into my schedule. And then other comedians will start bitching, ‘Oh people only go see him because he’s got a fucking superpower’ and then I’m a novelty act and how do you combine the two? How do you be a superhero and a comedian? I mean I’m gonna get high doing a podcast, and them I’m gonna be out fucking trying to fight crime, so I get distracted by cake or something on the way there. I mean I’m happy without a superpower to be honest. Just seems like a real pain the arse to me.”

BY NICK TARAS

Wil Anderson performs Wilarious at The Comedy Theatre from Wednesday March 28 until Sunday April 15 (except Mondays) at 8.45pm (Sunday 6.15pm, preview shows 7pm). Tickets $40 Saturdays, $36 Wednesdays-Fridays and Sundays; $30 concession; $28 Tightarse Tuesdays and $25 previews. Bookings through Ticketmaster, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

After spending the most part of 2011 touring overseas and releasing his debut DVD Is This Thing On?, Anthony Salame brings his brand new hour to Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Leave your political correctness at the door and get set for one hour of non-stop laughs as the star of SBS’ Swift and Shift Couriers talks about some funny shit.

You may remember him from his days on SBS series Fat Pizza, now join his followers and get to know him as a stand up comedian.

Anthony Salame has been performing stand up comedy since 2005. Over the past 7 years he has steadily built up a loyal and loving fan base.

Cheeky and energetic, Anthony specialises in impersonations and impressions.

Anthony has performed in Canada, England, Holland, Singapore and the Middle East.

MIKEY ROBINS & GREG FLEET

MIKEY AND FLEETY’S MONDAY MANIA You know them, you love them. Cut loose from the confines of TV, Mikey and Fleety’s irreverent and hilarious stand-up is a must see. Add a hand-picked selection of Australia’s hottest young comics each night and this show is a unique stand-out at this year’s Festival.

You probably know Mikey Robbins from Good News Week.

Or from his many radio hosting jobs. Or the series of documentaries he hosted. Or the two books he co-authored.

Or perhaps from his work as a columnist? One way or another, Mikey Robbins is pretty bloody well known.

Well educated, sharp and very witty it seems strange Mikey Robbins hasn’t done stand up until now.

After twenty-three performances at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Greg Fleet knows how to do funny. Also an old hand at radio and television these pros are sure to own the stage.

Catch Anthony Salame doing what he does best – Straight Up will be some quality stand up.

Anthony Salami performs Straight Up at The Portland Hotel from Thursday March 29 until Saturday April 21 at 11pm (Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays only) and Mondays at Melbourne Town Hall from April 2 until April 16 at 9.30pm.

Tickets $19/$15 Fridays and Saturdays, $15 Mondays and Thursdays, and $10 previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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Three shows only! A rare opportunity to see Aussie comedy legends Mikey Robins and Greg Fleet as they take to the stage with some of their favourite stand-up mates. As comedy veterans, how could their selection not be superb?

Mikey Robins & Greg Fleet perform (Mikey And Fleety’s Monday Mania) at Melbourne Town Hall from Monday April 2 until Monday April 16 (Mondays only) at 9.30pm. Tickets are $32/$25, $27 for groups of six or more, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013.

RYAN COFFEY MONO

This year’s Melbourne International Comedy festival will no doubt throw up a huge amount of comical talent with an endless amount of both international and local performers satisfying the tastes of just about every comic fan in town.

If it’s comedy and music that your heart desires however, then Melbourne’s own Ryan Coffey has got you covered with his brand new stage show Mono.

“If they saw the last show they can expect a brand new show,” jokes Coffey. “If they didn’t see the last show they can just imagine something – anything really – and expect something different to that thing that they imagined.

Unless that thing happened to be a guy singing songs in the style of a comedy festival show. In that case it will be exactly the same.” Performing at MICF must be a highlight for just about any comedian; not to mention the exposure and benefits of such a gig. “I get an artist’s pass that allows me one free drink in the Hi-Fi at the opening night of the festival,” he admits. “It is worth the $500 registration alone.” Part of the festival program for 2012, the up and coming comic must surely be chomping at the bit to unleash his brand new show on a traditionally highly receptive and enthusiastic crowd. “Yes, but only because a crowd at my show has chosen specifically to see me,” Coffey adds in regards to the crowd response at such events. “If someone rocks up at my show and they are disappointed when the person who walks out on stage is me, they are either mentally deficient or pathologically masochistic.” Surely though, getting up on stage at such an event must give the performer a buzz like no other. I ask Coffey what his most memorable moment on stage has been? “The first big laugh of any set. It lets you know that you’ve won the audience over, so you can just fuck around and take them for granted for the next 48 minutes.” And the worst? “The first big laugh of any set. It sets an unrealistic expectation in an audience

for all subsequent jokes. It sucks. I didn’t get into comedy to work hard for the validation of strangers” And does he ever laugh at his own jokes, regardless of the crowd response? “If they’re funny,” he admits. “This is rarely the case. So I intimidate myself with taunts like, “What are you? Some kind of comedian?” To which I answer, “Yes.” So I say, “Oh, a wise guy, huh?” to which I also reply, “Yes.” Some kind of raucous wild-west-style bar fight usually erupts at this point.” So on the eve of the festival’s opening, I ask Coffey for a final word on his upcoming show. “Mono comes from the ancient Greek meaning ‘one’ or ‘alone’,” he alludes. “Any asshole with access to the internet or a dictionary can tell you that. Interestingly, assholes with access to dictionaries are now increasingly rare. I’d almost go as far as to say endangered, only I’m not entirely sure what ‘endangered’ means.”

BY JAMES NICOLI

Ryan Coffet performs Mono at Three Degrees from Wednesday March 28 until Sunday March 31, Tuesday April 3 until Thursday April 5, Tuesday April 10 until Friday April 13, Tuesday April 17 until Saturday April 21 at 9.45pm. Tickets $18/$15, $15 groups of five or more, $13 Tightarse Tuesdays, from 0417 651 538, 3dcomedy.com.au/ bookings and at the door.

Why should we see your show?

“Mine is the show I’d like to see and my taste is spectacular.”

- Daniel Burt, Inspired By Mediocrity

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BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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FIONA O’LOUGHLIN

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THE DIVINE MISS O

Even at her personal nadir a couple of years ago – having passed out on stage in Brisbane, and with friends and family worrying for her physical and emotional wellbeing – Fiona O’Loughlin never once considered giving up stand-up comedy. “Being on stage is the only time I feel really alive,” O’Loughlin says. “I hang on to this like it’s a life line. This is the love of my life. It’s incomprehensible to give it up, even though it nearly killed me!” O’Loughlin laughs.

To some extent, O’Loughlin’s comic shtick rests on a paradox: tales of dysfunctional family life in a tight knit Irish Catholic family. Over the years O’Loughlin has found considerable comic value in her immediate and extended family; perhaps surprisingly, her family has stuck by her thick and thin, despite what’s been said on stage. “I had a guy come up to me once and say ‘You’re the woman from Australia who drinks too much and who hates her children’,” O’Loughlin laughs. Notwithstanding such assessments, O’Loughlin recognises that there is a paradox in the duality of her on and off stage life. “It’s hard to explain that,” she says. “Being Irish, Catholic and female is a very subjugated state. So when I’m on stage I get to speak freely – it’s incredibly liberating.”

O’Loughlin’s Catholic background is never far from view, although O’Loughlin concedes that her own Catholic reverence isn’t entirely up to scratch. “I’m such a useless Catholic,” she laughs. “I’m a tribal Catholic. I do wonder occasionally if there’s an afterlife. If there is, I kind of hope it’s a big long sleep – ‘rest in peace’ sounds very attractive. But the whole notion of hell freaks me out a bit.”

There’s a school of thought that suggests that comedians, like country singers, are at their creative peak when their personal and emotional life is beset by chaos and disarray. It’s a proposition O’Loughlin is comfortable with, particularly in light of the events of a couple of years ago. “It’s clichéd, but it’s true,” O’Loughlin says. “A lot of times I’m on my knees, and that’s when I do my best shows.”

O’Loughlin’s family has long accepted its role in the comedian’s life, though her upcoming show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival represents a departure from O’Loughlin’s previous routines. “My mother’s not in this show,” O’Loughlin observes. “But I’m swearing a lot in the new show – I’m nearly 50, and I think I’ve earned it!”

SMART CASUAL BROKEN DREAMS

O’Loughlin’s upcoming show will focus more on theatrics and less on the comedian’s own immediate familial and cultural dramas. “It’s a real diversion from what I’ve been doing,” O’Loughlin says. “It’s definitely more nonsense and bawdy than other stuff I’ve done. I’m sick of pointing a gun at my own head. This time around there’s lots of dancing, singing and gags. I’m having a lot of fun,” she says.

It looks like it might be left to O’Loughlin’s progeny to take up the baton of critical familial analysis. “My eldest daughter is doing stand-up in Dublin,” O’Loughlin says. “I saw her first gig at the Edinburgh Festival. She came on stage and said ‘my mother’s an alcoholic, and I use that term loosely – mother, that is’,” O’Loughlin says. “As a comic I thought that was gold, but as her mother I wanted to wring her neck!”

BY PATRICK EMERY

Fiona O’Loughlin performs The Divine Miss O at The Forum from Thursday March 29 until Tuesday April 3 at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays) (Monday April 2, 9 and 16 at Melbourne Town Hall at 8.15pm), and at The Hi-Fi from Tuesday April 10 until Sunday April 15 at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sunday). Tickets $32 Saturdays, $32/$25, $27 for groups of six or more, $24 Tightarse Tuesdays, $22 preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Smart Casual’s brand of comedy could be described as really fucking dumb. Not stupid mind you, I mean the perfect blend of fucking dumb comedy that is the hallmark of good Will Ferrell movies, like Anchorman. The unhinged, surreal, off topic, off kilter, off putting, off colour, off the wall mentalness that leaves you asking, “What exactly are those guys on?” Off stage Smart Casual are brothers Ben and Nick Mattick, on stage they are Roger David and Fletcher Jones. Ben AKA Roger phoned in from Adelaide to chat about the coming festival. “It is a good time to be here in Adelaide and that is what the locals say as well,” he says, backhanding the town. “Putting on a show you have to be prepared for the long haul, be prepared for people who do like and don’t like it and don’t drink too much in the first two weeks. Pace yourself. Especially if you do Adelaide beforehand. I describe it to people who come to visit us as us being like those shaken up troops who have been behind the lines, post traumatic stress syndrome, that’s what it seems like.

Whoa though, I am not describing our jobs as being as hard as fighting a war, just a slight similarity.”

Last year’s MICF offering from Smart Casual was The Story Of Captain Entrée. My notes from the show included the words: beard, earnest, absurdist, cocktail and little donkey. I can’t tell you what they mean but I do remember it being very funny. “Last year’s show was great,” Ben recalls. “We had a really good time. We got a horrible review from the Herald Sun, but that doesn’t really matter I don’t think. We thoroughly enjoyed it, it was the first time we did a straight narrative and it was really well received. We normally have a lot more silence and pauses, but it seemed like we were talking a lot in that show, so it felt smooth to me.” As a pair they come across as faux serious, thin and earnest matched against large and loud.

What got you into performing with Nick, I ask. “The fact that we are siblings,” deadpans Ben. “We started out in two different fields, he was in acting and I was in a couple of bands and we joined forces to become a musical duo. We are both subtle, No. We are lo-fi musical comedy. That is what we have been said to be but we also have a

SAM SIMMONS ABOUT THE WEATHER

After a year that saw him nominated for comedy’s equivalent of an Oscar – the Fosters Edinburgh Comedy Award – and take home Best Comedy at the Adelaide Fringe, Australia’s own maestro of suburban absurdism, Sam Simmons, returns to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with a new hour of crazy brilliance.

To guess what a Sam Simmons show might entail would be madness. So let’s not.

Nothing is more keenly anticipated on the Australian comedy scene than a new Sam Simmons show. Since 2003 Sam has developed a style all of his own... absurd, chaotic, innovative, adventurous and constantly defying definition.

Musical, visual, sometimes poignant and always hilarious Sam has spent ten years becoming an overnight sensation.

Sam’s comedy transcends reality to incredulous and scintillating results.

In 2011 Sam sold out his run, scored rave reviews and took out the big prize at the Adelaide Fringe before scoring nominations in Melbourne and Edinburgh. In 2012 Sam is at the top of his game and on top of the world. Which world?

Nobody knows. But you definitely want to be a part of it.

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few dick jokes, which makes us a variety show.”

That variety continues on in this year’s show, Broken Dreams. “The show is about us, we feel like we have whored ourselves out a little bit in the last year,” Ben admits. “We were in a commercial for a ‘burger company,’ I don’t what to say who but it was for a man with red hair. So in the show we have decided to make a fresh start and move to Poland, because Poland is the place to be for musical comedy. So we are going to move to Poland and we need a few sponsors to actually get there, so we have a few. One is called Shmilk, which is sugar milk – Shweenten up your life, don’t shwet it. It is milk with two tablespoons of sugar in every glass. Unlike Big M we don’t use any colouring. So we are bit different, we are just normal white milk that is sweet, because kids get bored of really bland milk. It is a fun hour, well 45 minutes to be honest, wait don’t say that, it is an animated show with a lot of different stuff in it, it’s musical comedy, a bit of everything and the punter will have a lot of fun.” At this stage of the interview, brother Nick wanders into the room to offer his pitch to the punters, in the form of shouting in the background, “Oh come on! Give us a go!”

BY JACK FRANKLIN

Smart Casual perform Broken Dreams at Arthur’s Bar at Rosati, from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays)at 9.30pm (8.30pm Sundays). Tickets $24/$22 Fridays and Saturdays, $22/$20 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $18 Tightarse Tuesdays and groups of six or more and $15 previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and on the door.

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Sam Simmons performs About The Weather at the Melbourne Town Hall from Wednesday March 29 – Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets are $30 Saturdays, $28/$26 Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays, $24 Tightarse Tuesdays and previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

CENTURY ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

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“…his tongue is as sharp as his dress sense. See him before his career becomes as big as his hair.”

WIL ANDERSON CENTURY ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

RHYS NICHOLSON

Chieng is charming challenging & downright hilarious The Pun

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almost a person

8:15 PM

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sun 6:30pm

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29 MARCH - 22 APRIL

29 March - 22 April trades hall

Bookings: www.comedyfestival.com.au or 1300 660 013

bookings: comedyfestival.com.au or 1300 660 013

MATT OKINE

CENTURY ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS

“I...was blown away.

Equal parts edgy and silly, but both hilarious. Catch him while you can still afford it.”

WIL ANDERSON

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9:30PM | 29 MARCH - 22 APRIL MELBOURNE TOWN HALL BOOKINGS: COMEDYFESTIVAL.COM.AU | 1300 660 013

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FANFICTION COMEDY

Is fan fiction a particularly modern phenomenon? Were Shakespeare fans devising their own adventures for Horatio or Iago hundreds of years ago? Did a reader devise the further exploits of Moby Dick?

Who’s to know? But FanFiction Comedy gets to the heart of the matter as it stands today. Presented by Wil Anderson, an everchanging lineup up of festival celebrities join host Rose Matafeo and Kiwi talent Heidi O’Loughlin, Tom Furniss and Joseph Moore to share their own FanFic creations. So folks, when did you become aware of FanFic? “I am a major Doctor Who fan,” Anderson says. “I think the first thing I read was a series of adventures around K-9. It was like The Littlest Hobo if the dog had been a robot from space.”

For O’Loughlin it was a Transformers piece about Optimus Prime sitting in his office, stressing out over his diary because he was struggling to manage all the diplomatic duties involved with being a super hero - ribbon cuttings, gala luncheons, presidential meetings etc. “It was awkwardly written in the first person, and I’m pretty sure that the narrator was meant to ‘relieve him from his stress’, if you know what I mean - braid each other’s hair whilst watching Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, presumably. Matafeo has recently gotten into Downton Abbey fanfic. Like, really into it. “The first one I ever read was about Judge Reinhold - I was a big fan when I was younger.

Don’t even ask.”

So what is it about FanFic that we respond to? Anderson: “The greatest thing about technology these days is that you don’t have to wait for the gatekeepers to let you publish something. You don’t need a book deal to write a story, you don’t need a radio station to get your podcast out, and you don’t need a TV show you can post stuff straight on YouTube. All you need is an idea. And possibly a funny cat.” O’Laughlin cites a Time article which described fanfic as the ‘cultural equivalent of dark matter’ – meaning that hardly anyone knows what it is, yet at the same time, it’s incredibly massive. I think that’s because even if it isn’t in the eye of the mainstream, there’s a huge community feeling in online fan fiction circles, just as there is with fan fiction on the stage. It’s feels great when comedians and an audience feel like they are part of a secret in-joke together. But it’s also popular because you can make everyone bang each other.”

“Once you start reading fan fiction, it’s not long until you come across the wonderful ‘slash’ genre, when two characters of the same sex get

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BULMER’S BEST OF THE EDINBURGH FEST

together in a romantic way,” Matafeo explains. “My favourite slash fiction was probably the treasure trove of Axl Rose/Slash stories that Heidi found once. They were the creepiest, most touching pieces of fan fic I have ever read. I never knew those two could be so tender with each other.”

BY PETER HODGSON

FanFiction Comedy runs at Melbourne Town Hall from Saturday March 31 until Sunday April 22 only on Saturdays 5.30pm, Sundays 4.30pm and Mondays 7pm. Tickets $20/$16, $16 for groups of six or more, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

The Melbourne International Comedy Festival is held in very high regard worldwide alongside such events as the Montreal Just For Laughs Festival and the Edinburgh Comedy Festival. There’s a kind of mutual respect between the three. Every year some of the real standouts of the Edinburgh festival are hand-selected to appear in Melbourne. This year at Bulmer’s Best of the Edinburgh Fest, audiences will be treated to John Fothergill, Joe Rowntree (whose television career started in 2001 writing put-downs for Anne Robinson on The Weakest Link) and Jimmy McGhie.

“It’s been running for years and years and years,” McGhie says.

“Every year they bring out three British comedians that they handpick from the Edinburgh festival, and we do a showcase gig. So rather than doing an individual show, there are three of us on the bill, so it’s more like what a standard comedy night in a club would be. And we’re doing weeknights in the Hi-Fi, which is a rock club, I believe, and then we’re doing weekends in the rather charming Capitol Theatre, which is a sort of big beautiful old Victorian theatre, as far as I’m aware. And it’s just the three of us doing our best stuff!

I’m very excited about that. It’s quite prestigious, Melbourne. It’s well-known around the world as one of the best comedy festivals.

So it’s quite a privilege being asked to come out and be a part of it.”

There’s no particular theme to McGhie’s performance, no overriding arc requiring props or gadgets or puppets or what have you. “It’s a bit like if you were showcasing a couple of new bands, like if you sent a couple of new bands over to a foreign country and got them to play a few songs each,” he says.

This is McGhie’s first time in Melbourne, but he’s been warming up over in South Australia for the Adelaide Fringe festival. McGhie has been enjoying the perks of the Fringe while prepping for the Melbourne run. “It’s been a nice run-in in working with Australian audiences. You get what works and what doesn’t, and you get used

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

to being in the Australian mindset. And of course Adelaide’s a fringe festival so you get to see lots of other stuff as well, not just comedy. It’s quite nice to be there because on your days off you can watch some theatre, cabaret, circus, whatever you like.”

So how does Australia feel to an outsider? “It’s quite nauseatingly nice, really, for a pom in London. The quality of life, the space, the pace, the sun shines most of the time… I mean, London’s great but it’s pretty stressful and annoying. Like, I went to see Elbow at Festival Hall the other night, and back home I wouldn’t be able to see them in anything smaller than the biggest arenas in the country. And here I am in a slightly large school gymnasium ten feet away from Guy Garvey. It was fabulous.”

BY PETER HODGSON

Jimmy McGhie, John Fothergill and Joe Rowntree perform Bulmers Best Of The Edinburgh Fest at The Hi-Fi Tuesdays and Thursdays 7pm and RMIT Capitol Theatre Fridays and Saturday 7.45pm from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 at 7.45pm (Sunday 7pm). Tickets $33.50/$30 Fridays and Saturdays, $28.50/25.50 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $26.50 Tightarse Tuesdays and preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Malthouse Theatre, Christopher Green, Julia Holt and Melbourne International Comedy Festival present

WITH SPECIAL GUEST

AURIEL

PHOTOGRAPH: MAGNUS HASTINGS

ANDREW

“AS POLISHED, SPARKLING AND TASTELESS AS THE RHINESTONE ON HER TINY DENIM FROCK” THE INDEPENDENT, UK

MAR 21 - APR 14 113 STURT STREET SOUTHBANK

BOOKINGS malthousetheatre.com.au

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

43

ASHER

CONSTANTINOPLE

TRELEAVEN TROUBADOUR

If you are listing out a top five of shows to see at this, or any other Melbourne Comedy Festival you need to include Asher Treleaven.

Smart, confronting and occasionally unsettling, his comedy involves, let’s not say a character, but a structured persona of an Asher that he is presenting to the audience.

So to hear that Troubadour, continuing his run of dour/door named shows, is about, him, well that requests only a twist of logic that only Asher could provide. “A friend of mine said, ‘You sound like you have had an interesting life, you should do a show about yourself.’ Which is a bit unusual for me, but I instantly thought, ‘Isn’t an autobiography meant to be like Cash by Johnny Cash?’ Those auto bios that are really, brilliantly over the top, someone whose life is so way out there, like Jackie Chan’s autobiography or Kofi Annan, someone like that. So I thought, just because you haven’t lived an amazing life doesn’t mean you don’t have an amazing life. Comedians, sports people and writers, anyone doing an autobiographical thing, a book or whatever, should really ask themselves ‘Is this really interesting enough?’ I find most of the time they have thought, ‘I’m not going to let a lack of talent or life experience get in the way of me making money out of my life.’ So I decided to build this little bazaar system with Edward De Bono’s six thinking hats and try and work it out on the night with the help of the audience. So it is a fun way to do the show and also be self-deprecating about the whole thing.”

Or he gets to have it both ways, I tell him. “It might be that I have set it up so I can’t lose,” he concedes. “It could become a really high-concept, post modern comedy, wank-fest, nightmare. But the trial shows have been going splendidly, so I don’t think that will be a problem. But it does give people the option of going, ‘You know what it was a funny show but your life really wasn’t that interesting comparatively to my dad who was the first hang gliding paramedic in Peru. So I am going to break it up using an antiquated, metacognitive, problem solving process and by the end will hopefully have an answer as to the life of a young man, who grew up in places like Humpty Doo and Dongara, who has travelled half the world, been a carnie, married twice, fallen off the track, been flat broke, been in a thousand shit-splat dives in

44

the middle of nowhere, is enough to talk about for a whole hour. And you the audience get to vote if the show is interesting enough or not.”

Asher has already begun that process, already culling parts of life, the following is an example of a story demonstrating both incredible physical and emotional weakness that didn’t even make the cut. “I was fired from my first job,” Asher confesses. “I had always wanted to be a pâtissier, that was my dream. So my first job, I got this French pastry guy and I remember sitting talking with him, him firing me because I wasn’t strong enough to lift up the pie trays and me just crying into a flan. That was me done. No more making pastries.

“This is an autobiographical show, which asks the question, ‘Is my life interesting enough to talk about for an hour?” he continues. It is a fair question that I wish more comedians would ask themselves.

“It is called Troubadour, and I’m not really sure what people picture when they hear that. A troubadour was actually an 18th century Occitan poet (please note for you scholars out there it is actually middle ages, say 1100) who would go travelling from court to court entertaining the royalty with chivalrous poetry and the like. But when I hear troubadour I think it is someone who is a truth speaking kind of champion.”

BY JACK FRANKLIN

Asher Treleaven will perform Troubadour at Cloak Room, Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sundays). Tickets $25/$20 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and on the door.

Theatre Beating’s Constantinople is part history epic, part Pythonesque absurdity, part hedonism, part… well, whatever you can think of, there’s a part of it in the show. It’s a lunatic dramatisation of historic proportions about the rise and fall of this great city. And it’s impossible to see the show’s name written without getting the song of the same name stuck in your head. It’s there now, isn’t it. “It’s a historically inaccurate look at the founding of a great city,” explains Barnie Duncan.

“And it’s a physical comedy as well. I basically chose Constantinople because I liked the sound of the word and I knew there was a good song about it from They Might Be Giants. Then I started researching the emperor Constantine and the history of the city, and I found that there was some pretty interesting shit that he did, like convert the Roman Empire to Christianity. And it was this enormous, giant capital of ancient Europe for centuries.”

Duncan and partner Trygve Wakenshaw even took lyrics from the song and used them as the provocation for a scene.

“And there are other parallel themes. There’s Constantine discovering the city but there’s also this neurotic prima donna horse who’s a champion of the hippodrome and his masseuse who is effeminate fanboy, and his quest to change his name, which is kind of like changing Constantinople to Istanbul.”

The Theatre Beating style is steeped in the more hyperactive realms of comedy. Wakenshaw and Duncan started working together in slapstick-inspired, Laurel & Hardy-style physical comedy, and the duo are universally praised for their lickety split comic timing together. “We use our contrasting body shapes and sizes, and our background in slapstick, as well as really absurd cartoon logic. It’s pretty Pythonesque. The Pythons were a big influence on me when I was a kid. You can use any type of anything to segue from one thing to another.

It’s really loose. The theory behind it is, if you are calm and charming as a performer, audiences will follow you wherever you take them. It’s a test of how ridiculous we can go with this history lesson.”

Yet for all that craziness, Duncan doesn’t consider himself a comedian - his heart belongs to the theatre. In fact, the show Constantinople itself was a reaction against working with directors that tell actors what an audience needs, or who say something won’t work because you need to have an arc…”I just went, ‘Who the fuck keeps making these rules?’ I wanted

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

to make something that I think is funny but that will still work.

One of our best shows that we made about six years ago, was called The Magic Chicken, which was made as a children’s show. They’re a really great audience because they just love that shit! There’s a really nice association that happens in a child’s brain. The more you learn rules and patterns, that gets drowned out. But you can just be really lateral about the way you associate one thing to another thing when you’re a kid.”

By the way, the lads have just secured funding to further develop The Magic Chicken this year.

BY PETER HODGSON

Constantinople runs at Trades Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 at 7pm (6pm Sundays). Tickets $24/$20, $18 for groups of four or more, $16 for Tightarse Tuesdays and previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

LAWRENCE MOONEY

LAWRENCE OF SUBURBIA

Suburbs get a bum wrap. They are seen as just giving up, giving up on life, art, culture, even hope. My friends move out to the suburbs and frankly I don’t see them again, so it’s refreshing listen to Lawrence Mooney wax lyrical about the oft looked down upon lifestyle choice of suburbia. “It seems that everybody’s suburbia memory happened in the season of summer,” Lawrence laughs. “Nostalgia is all in summer.

I sent out an online survey as research that I have boiled down to use in the show and no one remembers winter it seems. There was a lot about sprinklers, hills hoists, the lawn mower and above ground swimming pools, these are people’s memories of growing up in suburbia. The overriding thing that people said was they remember having more freedom, we all think that we had more freedom than kids

do today. It’s almost like paedophiles were invented in 1987 by A Current Affair – they have always been around, we have just become really paranoid. So the show is a metaphorical camel ride through the suburban underbelly.”

Lawrence is a pretty affable and lively bloke, he chats like he performs – like he already knows you – but he still has an edge to him, like a mate that will happily burn you for the sake of a good joke. “I move between being very familiar to the audience, I’ve got a familiarity with them, to looking at the darker side of humanity, with a deal of lightness,” Lawrence says of his approach to comedy. “I know that all sounds very esoteric and wanky but I do like to look into the dark side of people, I like to convey to the audience how I am actually thinking about things and that they are not alone in their vengeful fantasies. I’m fun, I think.”

He is currently on something of a run; he won the best comedy at The Melbourne Fringe for an Indecisive Bag Of Doughnuts. “That was a really nice thing to happen, it was really well received,” he says modestly. “This new show, in a way is an extension of that, that was a show about a man

procrastinating away a day while he was meant to be writing a show. Essentially it was me in my suburbia minutiae – so this is a further extension of that. It is about our suburban origins, I revisit a lot of the old nostalgia associated with suburbia.”

He has been road testing the show in Adelaide so the kinks will all be worked out by the time the MICF rolls around. He is a year rounder, not just a flash in the pan for the fest’ and gone for the rest of the year, which is how he crafts his material.

“There are a lot more rooms, I think it is really benefiting the whole scene, it has helped everyone so much. If you get to stand-up more you just improve,” he says of Melbourne’s comedy scene. “My biggest influence as a kid was Dave Allen, I wanted to be Dave Allen, that’s what made me want to be a stand-up. Early on I saw Richard Stubbs, he really influenced me. I think Fleety was a major, very, very heavy influence on my style and voice. Fleety was a hero and then he became my contemporary, and I have been very lucky to have him as a friend, he has given me great advice on comedy.”

WIN

TICK ETS T SHO O THIS BEAT W AT .COM .AU

Lawrence Mooney performs Lawrence Of Suburbia at Arthur’s Bar at Rosati, from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays).

Tickets $27/$22; $20 Tightarse Tusedays and preview, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

BY JACK FRANKLIN

CLAIRE HOOPER THE WORK

Like most great examples of art, entertainment, science or what have you, Claire Hooper’s The Work found its genesis in an unlikely place: a visit to Tate gallery and a particularly perplexing piece on display, and her reaction to it. “I remember at the time - and I know a lot of people can relate to this - that feeling of aspiring to be an art appreciator but feeling a little bit like the art’s taking the piss. So I remember seeing this one thing, and it was my instinct to dismiss it, but there was some kind of really confusing overriding feeling. I ended up finding out a lot more about it, but not until I’d come home from London.”

By coincidence her husband had a Newsweek with the artist on the front cover. “The article had a YouTube link at the end of it, so I went and watched that and I ended up reading all these reviews about it. It’s hard to explain the significance - although that’s really the idea of the show! But this is the bare bones that the rest of it’s hung on: why do we labour? What is the result of our labours? And also a sense of, it’s so easy to be cynical but it’s important to find the magic in things.”

Ah yes, much like the balance between cynicism and goofiness in my own beloved heavy metal? “Well, people think metal’s completely serious but I can’t help but think there’s a playful tongue-in-cheek element to metal. I liked metal once. Well, more like I hung out with metal guys so I used to listen to Ministry and stuff. I don’t any more though. It was one phase where I was trying to impress boys that I found attractive. I can’t explain it - it was nerds fighting so hard against their nerdiness that they’d gone in the complete opposite way! The goatees, the grotty teeth, the stinky clothes and the long hair - underneath it all there was just a nerd trying really hard not to be a nerd. I really liked that.” Oops, you just kinda described me, Claire…

These days when she’s not Comedy Festival-ing, Hooper has to get up before dawn to get ready for work on Sydney’s Mix 106.5 with Rosso. “The problem is, most of the people I work with get up half an hour or an hour earlier than me, so I’m not even in a position where I can complain to anyone about getting up so early! But it’s alright. It’s a bit of a hard slog because it’s not where my natural creative leanings are. We do play Nickelback daily and it confuses me pretty much every time that there are still people listening to Nickelback and that I got up at four o’clock in the morning to play that. But I complain about it and people go ‘Um…. but congratulations, you’ve got a job!’ Back when I was just doing stand-up corporates, my life was about flying interstate and doing a gig at a different time of day every day, the lack of structure makes you feel a little lost, but now that I don’t have it I miss it.”

Over the course of less than a decade, Hooper has gone from Western Australian Raw Comedy finalist to The Comedy Zone at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, to extensive TV work and drawcard comedy festival shows. How does one handle that? “I’ve felt the gears grind a little as I moved up, because you’re walking into more important rooms, but you have to walk in as though you belong there, and it doesn’t necessarily come naturally, but you have to admit, if a stand-up is good at anything it’s walking into rooms and pretending we feel like we belong places.”

BY PETER HODGSON

Claire Hooper performs The Work at Melbourne Town Hall from Friday April 6 at 8.15pm, Saturday April 7 at 5.30pm, Sunday April 8 at 4.30pm and Sunday April 15 at 4.30pm. Tickets $28/$26 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

45

DRACULA’S SIN & TONIC

Who said vampires and creepy crawly night things couldn’t be funny?

Gearing up for this year’s comedy festival, Dracula’s smoking star performer, Gillian Perry says the new burlesque comedy show, Sin & Tonic, is going to be naughtier than ever.

“Sin & Tonic is really raising the bar for Dracula’s 30th year,” Perry says.

But that’s not all the cheeky show raises. Waiting on the red carpet in the line outside before the show, my eyebrows shot up a few inches as a beautiful gothic transvestite in a red wig and six inch f-me boots kept the punters at bay. With legs most women would kill for and an electric blue smile, she definitely worked it.

Perry describes the night as “just something a little different to make for a great night out in Melbourne. A night filled with entertainment, laughs, amazing live music, great food, bizarre kooky different environment.”

It’s true, you really don’t know what to expect when entering the dark building and going up the spider web staircase. But, as someone who loathes horror films and slept with the nightlight on for a week after watching Donnie Darko, I can confirm, there’s more gags than ghouls.

Just don’t bring along the kiddies.

“As recommendations go it is an 18+ show,” Perry says. And she would know, putting Lady Gaga to shame by staying in her sexy, gothic undies and hot bodices throughout the evening.

Dracula’s really rolls out the red carpet for its patrons. Before getting to the main stage room where a haunted cover band bangs out some memorable tunes, you get ushered into the extravagantly decked-out Van Helsing bar room – named after the dude in the Dracula novel.

With statues and mannequins in every corner, the set-up is incredible.

My only complaint was that the bar wasn’t open to the general public, it would make a great destination for a big night with friends. The bar wenches and warlocks stay true to the theme, dressed in seductive burlesque gear and covered in zombie makeup.

Don’t worry ladies, there’s some eye candy for you in there, too.

“The elements that differ from past shows like the inclusion of quite a few more sexy double acts from the ladies and more stand out solo sections from the males really makes this show a must see,” says Perry.

From possessed, blonde zombie-doll babes to metallic-clad steam

46

RHYS NICHOLSON

ALMOST A PERSON

punk mad scientists, Sin & Tonic covers all the bases in the horror handbook. After finishing up at the bar, guests must board the eerielooking ghost train to get to their seats for dinner and the show.

Without giving too much away about that ride, let’s just say there may or may not be a hidden camera in there, so big smiles people!

Perry’s talent stretches past shaking it in her scantily clad performances: the lady is a cack. Seriously, it doesn’t look easy to make with the funny while your boobs are pushed up to your chin and you’re trying to coordinate walking in massive, leather and chain pumps. As a connoisseur of sex puns myself, at times during the performance it became hard to chew down the three course meal because my mouth was being used up by laughter.

“I just be myself therefore it doesn’t matter what I’m wearing,” says Perry. “Whether I had to wear a chicken suit or as luck would have it medical fetish attire, I am comfortable in my own skin therefore it’s quite easy to then have a laugh, joke and a chat with the audience without them thinking it’s at all odd.”

BY KATIE WEISS

Sin & Tonic runs at Dracula’s, from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 21 (except Sundays and Mondays) at 6.45pm. Tickets $76-$105 from draculas.com.au and 1800 DRACULAS.

You’ve got to be doing something right (or wrong, depending on which way you look at it, of course) when people have been known to describe your routine as ‘honest’ and ‘filthy’, right? In that case, 21-year-old, Rhys Nicholson, has hit the nail right on the head.

Honest and filthy, yes. Intelligent and hilarious? Without a doubt.

The Newcastle-born comedian has had his fair share of eyebrow raises in the past, but he’s used to those reactions. In his words, he uses his “filthiness as a charm.” Just a word of warning, though, it might not be the best show to head along to with your overlyconservative parents.

“Everyone that I went to school with and my family are used to it...I’ve always kind of used my filthiness as a charm...I try to be that person at a party...that’s charming by being inappropriate. You know when you’re kind of drawn to someone that’s just saying things that everyone’s kind of thinking ‘Woah.’? Well yeah, that kind of thing. I’m always drawn to someone that is quite charming, so I aim for that.” “[The show is filled with] a lot of filth – contextual filth; anger – contextual anger... The whole show’s about me moving from my small hometown to Sydney, and then there’s lots of stories along the way. I don’t really know how to explain it, because the majority of the show is just me being angry about shit and yelling. It’s very honest, I guess. People have said that it’s very honest – that kind of sounds a bit wanky, actually. I tell a lot of sexual stories which I have a bevy of. But yeah, I would say that it’s basically just filth; a lot of honest, hardworking filth.”

You know those moments when you watch something that is ridiculously embarrassing or awkward that you hide your eyes, change the channel or curl up into a ball? There are many of those moments within Rhys’ work, but that’s what makes it what it is – that “hardworking filth.” So does Rhys himself ever consider that he may have overstepped the mark?

“I’ve got kind of a ménage à trois of fear and loathing going on inside my head. There’s constantly a voice in the back of my head going, ‘No, don’t do that.’ It just kind of helps, though, that the other voice

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

is much, much louder.

“There have been times on stage, though, where I’ve thought ‘Ohh, maybe that was a bit too much’, but I’m never out to shock. I’ve never walked out on stage and thought ‘Wow, I’m going to make you guys feel ridiculously uncomfortable.’ I just kind of tell my stories which are my jokes and see what sticks, I guess. I just want to be funny over anything. And yeah, honest, I guess. I have been called ‘shocking’ before, but...I kind of take that as a compliment.”

BY SIMONE ZIADA

Rhys Nicholson performs Almost A Person at Arthur’s Bar at Rosati, from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays). Tickets $19/$15 Friday and Saturday, $15 Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $10 preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

TOM GREEN

Though we might not have necessarily thought so at the time, the early 2000s proved to be fertile ground for some of contemporary cultureâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most transgressive ďŹ gures. Front and centre of the uninhibited vanguard was none other than the inimitable lanky Canuck Tom Green, shocking the world as he permeated the mainstream.

Since breaking through with a hit series on MTV, as well as a string of major ďŹ lm appearances, Tom has returned to the realm of stand-up. SuďŹ&#x192;ce to say, his return to the stage has been a success. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think for the most part, because of the positive outpouring of support from the audiences, fans of my previous crazy shows - itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been a blast,â&#x20AC;?

Tom beams. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I have also always enjoyed the writing process and putting shows together. So I will be coming prepared. I have a bunch of ridiculous things on my mind â&#x20AC;&#x201C; these days that I genuinely feel a catharsis every time I do a show. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m loving being on tour, doing stand up, and playing oďŹ&#x20AC; the energy of all the great people who have been coming out to see me perform live.â&#x20AC;?

As for his inďŹ&#x201A;uence on the current crop of comedic purveyors, Tom can trace his lasting inďŹ&#x201A;uence somewhat. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I can but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really tend to do that. I just like looking forward and ďŹ guring out what I am going to do next. I have always been amazed by technology, that is why [internet-only series] The Tom Green Show is one of the ďŹ rst shows in history that was completely independently produced using consumer electronics,â&#x20AC;? he recalls. â&#x20AC;&#x153;That was the point â&#x20AC;&#x201C; to make the show and the comedy feel accessible to people, because it was so raw and not produced with the ordinary, and slightly tired, TV tactics.â&#x20AC;?

In his review of Greenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s defninitive cult classic Freddy Got Fingered, revered ďŹ lm critic Roger Ebert famously delcared â&#x20AC;&#x153;The day may come when Freddy Got Fingered is seen as a milestone of neo-surrealism...â&#x20AC;?, and according to Green â&#x20AC;&#x153;the day has come,â&#x20AC;? he boasts. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go to an English speaking city on the planet without somebody singing Daddy Would You Like Some Sausage to me. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m really excited about the fact that the movie has found an audience that loves it. It is a crazy comedy movie. I love it,â&#x20AC;? Tom states, echoing the sentiment of many fans.

With what many would classify as a juvenile strain of humour deďŹ ning his early work, has experience beneďŹ tted Tom with something a little more erudite? â&#x20AC;&#x153;I hope I have gained some knowledge from all of the crazy things I have been through,â&#x20AC;? he

states. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I feel sometimes like life can be hard, and unfair. But then I look at all of the good things that have happened in my life, and it makes the bad things seem much more trivial. Getting cancer and having surgeries on my lymph nodes was painful and scary, but it also has given me a pretty clear understanding of how painful life and death can be. Recovering from my surgery was literally the most exhausting and physically painful experience of my life.

So knowing how bad things can get, I choose to celebrate every good day as if it the best day of my life. Now I have to grab a dictionary and look up the word â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;eruditeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, because frankly, I am not sure that I just answered your question,â&#x20AC;? he states with a chuckle.

BY LACHLAN KANONIUK

Tom Green performs at Athenaeum Theatre from Tuesday April 3 until Monday April 9 at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sunday, 8pm Monday). Tickets $44 Friday, Saturday and Sunday; $39 Monday-Thursday from Ticketek online, 132 849 and at the door.

DAMIAN CALLINAN

A comedy about a menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Anger Management Workshop.

ROBINSON CRUSOE

Comedy can be a lonely life. Lots of time on the road, sleeping in cars on the side of the highway or in cheap hotels. Coming down from the roar of laughter into the silence of the backstage bog. When I talk to three-time Melbourne Comedy Festival Barry Award nominee Damian Callinan, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in the isolating environment of the transit lounge at the airport. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an environment that segues nicely to the tale of the marooned traveller Robinson Crusoe, the namesake character of the former Skithouse starâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Melbourne International Comedy Festival show in 2012.

The original working title of the show was The Lonely Chronicle, inspired by years of desperately lonely childhood stories Callinan would pull out to amuse his comedian friends. â&#x20AC;&#x153;In my mind they just seemed like quite harmless anecdotes from my childhood, but it turns out they make people feel deeply uncomfortable. Tom Gleeson said I had to pull all of these stories into one show. But my managers said they couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t sell a show called Lonely, so we came up with the idea of linking it to the story of Robinson Crusoe.

And so the show begins with the appearance of being about Robinson Crusoe, at his 21st birthday party making his own speech, before the narrative moves into a parallel world based on a true story in which Callinan got locked in his own garage. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Well, I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t locked but I was basically exiled there from early in the morning until late at night.â&#x20AC;? His parents were away, the key was locked inside, he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have any money - his own version of being marooned.

And from there the audience is invited into his childhood garage. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re stuck in the garage with 11-year-old Damo on that day, keeping him company, and through that I tell a series of other childhood stories.â&#x20AC;?

One such story involves a pine tree a four-year-old Damo planted. It grew into a massive, street-dominating thing of beauty - destroying the fence of the adjacent property in the process - and served as a little sanctuary. â&#x20AC;&#x153;I could just go hang out there, and no-one knew I was there. And then my youth was corrupted: I wandered out and found the charmed remnants of a porn magazine! Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d literally never seen a naked woman and I had no idea that pubic hair was involved.

So it kind of excited me - I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remember how old I was - and I just kept re-covering it with pine needles and coming back every couple of days to check on it until mother nature claimed the ladies from MuďŹ&#x20AC;s Ahoy and it became childhood memory compost.â&#x20AC;? In the show Callinan refers to it as â&#x20AC;&#x153;my â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Porn Narniaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; - push aside the fur coats to reveal â&#x20AC;Śthe fur coats.â&#x20AC;?

One thing that crossed Callinanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mind as he wrote the show: the audienceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s conception of â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;lonelyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in a world where mobile phones and social media are never far away. â&#x20AC;&#x153;None of these problems would have occurred to 11-year-old me at the time if he had a mobile, because the problem would have been solved. But I guess Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d kind of do what I did on the day, which was to just amuse myself endlessly via my own imagination.â&#x20AC;?

BY PETER HODGSON

Damian Callinan performs Robinson Crusoe from Thursday March 29 until Saturday April 21 at Melbourne Town Hall at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets $25/$22, $22 for groups of six or more, $21 Tightarse Tuesdays and previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013, and at the door.

Starring: Syd Brisbane, Michelle Nussey, Ross Daniels & Geoff Paine.

Chapel Off Chapel, 12 Little Chapel St, Prahran 8:30pm Wed â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Sun | 11 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 29 April (no show 25th) Tickets: $30 full, $25 concession Bookings: chapeloffchapel.com.au or 8290 7000 PHOTO: MARK GAMBINO | DESIGN: LLIAM AMOR

BEATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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RONNY CHIENG THE RON WAY As up-and-coming comics go, it’s difficult to look beyond Ronny Chieng. The hotly-tipped Malaysian-born performer is set to stage his debut solo stand-up show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival - not too shoddy for a guy who, not too time ago, had only flirted with the idea of a career in comedy. University life would provide Chieng with a launchpad to laughter. “There was a competition. I thought I could compete. Every year, I’d sign up and then I’d pull out.”

Chieng would eventually take part, reigning the supreme comic.

Making the most of his self-described “absurdist, observational humour”, Chieng went onto score second place in the 2010 RAW Comedy National Finals. The next year, he featured as one of five comedians performing as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival’s own Comedy Zone. Chieng even impressed Sydney, the city hosting a sold out season of his full-length show: the aptly-titled Ronny Chieng Is Selling Out Fast.

The break-out show would ultimately resemble a milestone for Chieng. Initially, however, it presented a new challenge for the fledgling performer. “Traditionally, the steps are you go from five minutes, to ten minutes, to twenty... then from twenty to one hour,” Chieng explains, citing the trials laid before any aspiring comic. “That jump required a huge leap in skill. At no point did I think that I would be comfortable doing it, it was just part of the learning process.”

Chieng, in navigating his career, has already come across a few valuable insights. “The industry is a very weird industry, especially if you come from the corporate world. I can’t say I come from the corporate world, but my university learning was based around the corporate world, so to speak. I did law and commerce, so I guess it’s fair to say I was trained for the corporate world,” he explains.

“Coming from that background, the comedy industry is crazy. It’s got a lot of characters, a lot of people, the stereotype of the struggling artist is definitely real. A lot of people dedicate a lot to it.”

It’s the kind of commitment not to be taken lightly - after all, as Chieng describes, there’s an insane science that defines stand-up comedy.

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“It’s alchemy: you’re creating something out of nothing. You go into a room with nothing and you have to make laughter out of nothing,” he suggests. “Literally, that is the task. I don’t think I’m exaggerating at all when I say that’s the task you’re faced with when you’re doing (comedy).”

As such, Chieng concedes that a career in comedy ultimately conceals hard-knock life. “I think comedy is a harsh mistress in that she will take everything from you and she demands everything: your time, your relationships, your money, your energy... everything,” he laments. “If you don’t give it everything you have, I guess you can’t crawl up as quick. It requires that kind of dedication.”

Curiously, Chieng tends to save his comedy for the stage. In fact, he steers clear of clowning around too intently in social circles. “I’m definitely not that guy! I’m a pretty private kind of dude. I will pretty much condemn the guy who tries too hard to be funny in front of other people. I’m the guy who shuts them down.“

BY NICK MASON

Ronny Chieng performs The Ron Way at Trades Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7.30pm (6.30pm Sundays). Tickets $19/$15 Fridays and Saturdays, $10 preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

NIKKI BRITTON FLAW PLAN “It is autobiographical. I am telling a whole lot of stories from my life but in a different way – It is a celebration of the fact that we are all flawed and that is a beautiful thing,” Nikki Britton says of her 2012 MICF show Flaw Plan. So the question must be asked, just how flawed is she then? “Where do I begin?” she says. “I think I am accepting of people to the point of naivety, which often gets me into trouble. That is a major one that leads me into situations!

For example, one time I was seeing this man and it was going well, we said we loved each other. He lived in Perth and I lived in Sydney, so I flew to Perth to be with him and then… he stole my wallet and ran away! So I look back and think, ‘I probably shouldn’t have been so accepting of that person.’ It is all good now but that is what the show is about; looking at our flaws and accepting our flaws and realising that everyone out there has got their stuff. If we can just laugh about it then it’s all going to be okay. Tragedy plus time equals comedy - that should be my tag line.”

From drinking too much and fighting with the family to relationships, job and religion, Nikki has given herself a broad canvas to play with but it is the tone and style where she hopes to come into her own. Her blurb promises “a style inspired by the character satire of Chris Lilley, and the quirky storytelling of Daniel Kitson and The Pajama Men.” “I’ve set the bar pretty high then, haven’t I!” she laughs. “I am inspired by them but I certainly don’t promise to be as wonderful as them because I love all of their work. I guess it has the characterisation that Chris does in his work. It’s got the quirky, sketchy storytelling of the Pajama Men and then there are quieter, intimate moments and hopefully a nice moral to walk away with like Kitson’s work. I have characterisation and going off and tangents but I’m just one lady on the stage with a MUCH smaller budget than the Pajama Men. So it’s probably as not wonderfully developed as their stuff but hopefully it is pretty punchy and fast paced. Instead of just telling a story from

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

my point of view I do blend into a series of different characters throughout the story.

She isn’t afraid to work blue either. “It is not for the easily offended but hopefully it is done with enough class that everyone can enjoy it,” Nikki concedes illustrating her point with a story of her lack of sexual prowess. ”I had the nickname ‘Chinese Burn’ for almost all of high school because of an incident with a man late at night and me not really knowing my way around ‘that’ and going in with two hands.” As for the festival tradition of standing out the front of Town Hall convincing punters to come to her show, this is Nikki’s debut show, so it is all new to her. “I really haven’t figured out the schtick yet,” she says “Maybe I’m just going to put flyers down my boobs and hope people will grab them from there. I will have to work all angles. Just know the show has a little bit of everything and a good dose of heart while dancing the fine line of offensiveness. It is my story, a lot of it is personal and intimate and the characters around the edges. They are all true stories, strange stuff just seems to happen to me!“

BY JACK FRANKLIN

Nikki Britton performs Flaw Plan at The Forum Theatre from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets $19/$15 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and on the door.

HUMOURVERSITY

Awe-inspiring: it’s the only appropriate word to describe the hour and a quarter I spent with Pete Crofts in the world’s only Humourversity. I intended to stay 20 minutes, but it’s hard not to become sucked into Crofts’ world; he is the Willy Wonka of comedy, charming you with his fascinating life stories from his 69 years on Earth. At one point I bring legendary controversial comedian/social critic Bill Hicks into the conversation: “–ah yes, I had three sessions with Bill when he was out here,” he interrupts, as he leans back on his chair and instantly finds and hands me Bill Hicks’ biography from a bookshelf of thousands. “I love this man,” I think to myself.

Step into the Humourversity and the first thing you notice are the overwhelming amount of bursting bookshelves that seemingly have become the wallpaper of the room. There are paperbacks that range from the psychology of humour to biographies to studies on comedy and hundreds of other topics. The decorations of the Humourversity are engulfing as your eyes are teased into spending just a moment seduced by a photo of Pete with Bill Cosby before you’re lured away by another photo, book or tale.

Crofts was a stand-up comic from his early adulthood but gave it up one night at a gig in Kings Cross when he realised the crowd was laughing, but he wasn’t. In 1974, he decided to set-up the first bookshop in the world specialising in humour, comedy and laughter – titled The Humour, Comedy and Laughter Centre. He has since become respected worldwide as a humour, comedy and laughter authority, having trained aspiring comedians such as Russell Gilbert, Elliot Goblet, Rachel Berger, Tim Smith, Dave Grant, and Tracy Bartram along with Australia’s leading business professionals, journalists, speakers, lawyers, psychologists and media personalities. Six years later, the centre became Pete Crofts’ Humourversity, focusing on researching, collecting and running programs on humour, comedy and laughter studies.

For roughly 40 years, Crofts has been studying and teaching a lesson – one which he may have learnt before he was kicked out of three different schools as a child – of the importance of humour.

“In 1980 I started up a political party called Comedyism. Our philosophy was based on Marx, not Karl but Groucho.

“I use to wear half a beard and a half a moustache. The concept being that people claimed the world was civilised, I claimed it wasn’t. I was on The Don Lane Show one night, and Don said, ‘Why the half a moustache?’ and I said, ‘This is not half a

moustache; this is my interpretation of what a real moustache is’…If you take seriously seriously, you’re insane. And of course that’s the biggest sin of the 21st century”.

After my tour of the main section of the Humourversity, Crofts asks me if I’d like to see the archives out back. To get there we have to walk along a little outdoor corridor that Crofts calls ‘Laughter Lane’, in which you must be laughing for the entire duration of the walk. The crammed archives – which Crofts aims to eventually turn into a comedy history museum – are filled with comedy memorabilia: rare vinyl comedy records, posters, guides etc. Crofts then shows me one of his ongoing projects – an oversized poster documenting the history of comedy in Australia. I comment on how busy he seems.

“Not busy, aware,” he responds. At any moment, Crofts will drop bizarre, often enlightening philosophical statements.

Crofts, along with his business partner Andrew Watkins, hope to expand the Humourversity beginning with setting up studios across Melbourne. They’re offering to train comedians who will then be paid to teach their programs and workshops.

“I’ve been putting together this stuff for 50 years,” Crofts comments as he flips through the dense course handbook.

The programs on offer from the Humourversity, which Crofts estimates has approximately 70 students, include Stand-up

Comedy Principles, Public Speaking With Humour, Leadership Through Humourship and Creative And Outrageous “I met Pete probably 18 months ago,” Andrew opens. “I realised Pete had put a lot of time and effort into the system and what a great thing for the world, to a put a smile on the map of the world.”

BY NICK TARAS

Call toll free on 1300 HA HO HEE (1300 42 46 43) or visit humourversity.com.au for more information.

MICK NEVEN

#SHITMICKNEVENSAYS

There are essentially two Twitters. There’s the one that media people and PR professionals use to network, and then there’s the one where people - celebrity and civilian alike - use it to tell the world exactly how long it took to find two matching socks that morning. #ShitMickNevenSays explores the whole wide world of Twitter in realtime. “It’s the very essence of simplicity,” he explains. “I’ll have a screen and a projector connected to my wife’s iPad. I’ll then get Twitter on the iPad and have it set on the #ShitMickNevenSays screen. Then people in the audience can send tweets using the hashtag and those tweets will re-fresh onto the screen.” During the show Neven takes time out to check the tweets and reply, or retweet, or comment on.

It’s audience participation for the 21st century. And of course people who aren’t in the audience can join in from home. “Potentially, there’s a cast of millions, although realistically, there’s a cast of about 40 or 50,” he says.

Neven has given the show a pre-MICF spin with a few preview shows in Canberra, where it seemed to go well.”Of course, Canberra people are different to a Melbourne festival crowd. Up there, Twitter is still new and fancy. Down here, Twitter is like so 2011.”

It begs the question: how would the show be different if you used Facebook instead of Twitter? “I’d expect more pictures of cats if I used Facebook. That and interaction from my Mum. She’s a good one for commenting on my status updates. Like when I say ‘make sure you get a ticket for #ShitMickNevenSays, she’ll comment ‘why don’t you get a proper job? How is comedy going to put my grand-daughter through private school’. She’s a big support, my Mum.” Twitter is, of course, great for public meltdown stories. PR folk trashing clients, celebrities accidentally posting pics of their boobies then claiming they were ‘hacked.’ Does Neven have any favourite Twitter meltdown stories? “I don’t actually follow many ‘celebrities’. It turns out they’re really quite boring on Twitter. Big surprise there. The Steph Rice ‘faggot’ fiasco gets a mention in my show. That’s the thing about Twitter.

It actually makes it much easier for people to get outraged. It takes about 10 seconds to register your outrage on twitter. You don’t even need to be all that angry. Whereas back in the days before Twitter, if you wanted to register your outrage you had to get off the couch, write a letter and take it to the post office! Imagine how angry you had to be to do all that work!”

So what’s life like for a full-time comedian/writer? “Being a comedian is always very exciting. Like just the other day I did gigs in Canberra and to save money, we drove home after the show on Sunday night.

That’s a 7 hour drive at 10pm to save $150. It’s a good thing we did that, otherwise we wouldn’t have broken even on that trip. And of course it’s always the height of glamour when you’re handing out flyers during the festival. ‘Hey come see my show, it’s funny, no it really is, that’s why I’m standing here handing out flyers’!” So as a full-time writer myself, I imagine Neven has some great 2-minute noodle recipes? “2 minute noodles! Hah! I wish. Where do you live? Toorak?”

BY PETER HODGSON

#ShitMickNevenSays runs at Roxanne, Coverlid Place from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 21 at 8.30pm (7.30pm Sundays). Tickets $17.50/$14, $14 for groups of six or more, $12 Tightarse Tuesdays, from trybooking.com and at the door.

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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CRAIG HILL BLOWN BY A FAN It’s impossible to confuse Craig Hill with any other comedian.

He’s the bald, kilt-wearing, off-the-cuff entertainer who relies hugely on audience interaction in his show. Hill is back with his latest show, Blown By A Fan. “People seem to be surprised how energetic it is” he says. “It starts – boom – like a roller coaster!

[It’s] very hyper, right from the get-go till the end.”

Hill believes his show is difficult to describe as it varies each time. “It changes almost every single night, based on the comedy fodder I find in the audience,” he says. “It’s very spontaneous and largely improvised. The funniest moments are often unrehearsed and in the moment.”

An ex-hairdresser who left to train as an actor, Hill was once known only for making his friends laugh. “My friend booked a gig for me without telling me, and announced it two days before,” he says. “[He] persuaded me to do it, and once I started, I loved it and kept going.”

He has been “chuckling with audiences” for 14 years now.

Hill didn’t start performing until he was in his late twenties, with many ups and downs along the way. “I keep expecting to fall over in my kilt and ‘reveal’ too much, but thankfully that hasn’t happened!” he says. “[But] I once mistook a man for a woman, then after the show I met him and apologised, only to find out it was a woman all along! Disastrous indeed!”

His philosophy on humour is relatively simple: “I think a good comedian says what everyone’s thinking but hasn’t articulated yet,” he says. “When there’s truth in it and the audience [can] see themselves in your stories, they laugh more. Real life is often the funniest.”

Hill has always been about more than just stand-up comedy, and his shows reflect this. “I think of it more like being a show where you make people laugh and entertain them,” he says. “Not just with jokes and anecdotes, but characters, voices, physical comedy, dancing and singing. I think [the show is] fun, energetic, light hearted, tongue in cheek, provocative and cheeky!”

WILD WOMEN OF COMEDY

In Hill’s mind, “every night is a Saturday night”. His favourite audiences are ones who feel the same. “[Back home] in Scotland they’ve been turning up really [keen] for a night out,” he says, “which is exactly what I want.”

The reception for Hill’s new show has been nothing but positive.

“I’ve been ‘blown away by the fans’, literally,” he says. “I’ve been so pleased by the reactions of the audience during and after the show. They’re quite hyper and excitable!”

To keep things fresh, Hill avoids tying his shows down with any themes or storylines. “If brilliantly funny things happen in life and they don’t fit [the show] you can’t use them,” he says. “I [just] love telling stories too much to not share them!”

So what’s in store for the future of Craig Hill? “As long as I can keep having fun and people keep smiling and laughing I’m a happy bunny,” he says. “I already feel lucky to be doing something I enjoy so much.” His mission is simply to make the everyday entertaining. “This show is full of all the stories of my adventures since I last saw you guys. The great thing about life is it just keeps throwin’ funnies at ya!”

BY MEGAN HANSON

Craig Hill performs Blown By A Fan at Chapel Off Chapel from Tuesday April 17 to Sunday April 22 at 8pm. Tickets $35/$29 from 8290 7000, chapeloffchapel.com.au and at the door.

It’s that time of year again. Deciduous leaves frolicking with each other on the damp ground, the air biting at your heels, mountain bears finally go into hibernation. Added to these things, you can also head to the pub for a pint and laugh nearly every night of the month. With the Melbourne International Comedy Festival looming it’s round the clock tickles from a marathon list of comedians from round the globe. The Wild Women Of Comedy are back and blaring with stellar new material and plenty of sneaky chardys.

Wild Women has been bringing together the best of Australian female comics for over 18 months, with this comedy festival showcasing talents of three brilliant ladies.

Some say comedy is a man’s game. Just like weaving. Not these folks. Instigators Sarah Levett and Bev Killick came together about 18 months back seeing both a gap in the predominantly manly comedy scene and a shift to a comedy era where female comedians are just as successful and just as funny.

Since its conception, Wild Women Of Comedy have been bringing a selection of female comedians to audiences all around the country. Members of this girly gang often include (but are not limited to) the likes of Amelia J Hunter, who received a prestigious Moosehead Award for her musical Meat, regular of the stand-up circuit Amanda Gray, comedy baby, and media personality, Sarah Levett and newbie and attention deficit disorder mum, Anne Ferguson Howe.

Other guests include Bev Killick, co-creator of the very successful bosomy blast Busting Out and Ceil Stowe who rival each other as breakfast radio hosts.

But there’s no soggy Weet-Bix food fights on this stage! Bev says that the group are “really great mates. It’s awesome, there is not a bitchy word between us and we just really hanging out together. We always have a laugh and we always have a bottle of vino!”

Each of these famously fantastic women make this show a must see in their own right. The recent success of Busting Out, a brash, bold and hilarious celebration of boobs has bought Killick into the limelight in the last few years.

Killick began her career as a waitress. She says she got a lot of tips, not for her service but for her jokes. “I finally thought maybe I’ll just be funny instead,” laughs Bev at the birth of her comedy career. Since then she hasn’t stopped performing.

Bev goes onto talk about having to tour through a 35 degree heat wave. “It was so hot that we would just sit around in our undies having a drink before the show. I wear those really big undies too! We are very comfortable with each other,” she laughs.

For any dubious males out there; don’t worry, boys are welcome too. Bev stresses that while there’s undoubtedly a lot of material that women can relate too they try to leave the politics at home. There are plenty of laughs for the men too. “Bring your cock,” says Bev as she hangs up the phone.

BY JESSICA LAWSON

Wild Women Of Comedy runs at Revolt Melbourne, Kensington from Tuesday April 10 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8pm. Tickets $25, groups six or more $22, Tightarse Tuesdays $15 and preview $12.50 from 9376 2115, revoltproductions.com and at the door.

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comedyfestival.com.au TICKETMASTER 1300 660 013

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NIK COPPIN

AWARD-WINNING COMEDIAN Back in the day, if you received a trophy for some feat of sporting prowess it meant you were really on top of your game. These days you get a trophy just for showing up. The nature of awards has changed, and the trophy shelf/case/room is an ever-expanding nightmare of stained wood bases and gold-coloured plastic figures.

Nik Coppin’s show, Award Winning Comedian, is trophy-worthy in both the modern and traditional sense. “I think trophies and awards are certainly handed out a bit more willy nilly these days,” Coppin says. “It’s great to receive awards for things, but the more they are handed out, the less and less they mean. The thing about handing them out in the world of comedy is that while some may deserve them, people tend to look at who has won awards and been given 4 and 5 star review ratings and head for those shows without knowing what the show is really about and whether or not it’s really something that they’d like.”

Coppin’s own show, which looks at the wacky world of awards, was originally meant for four dates and a bit of a laugh at the Adelaide

Fringe last year, inspired by “a couple of silly awards” Coppin had won there in the past. But the show moved a lot of tickets, put a lot of bums on a lot of seats and most importantly was a lot of fun to perform. So he took it to Edinburgh, and now it’s destined for Melbourne.

Coppin looks at the award culture from every angle in his show.

He sites a reviewer friend in Edinburgh who loved a particular act, but wouldn’t give him the 5 star review that she felt she wanted to because he was an offbeat act that people would flock to see as a result of her rating, but probably not like it when they got there which would ultimately not be good for him and ruin his show. “How ridiculous is that? I totally see where she is coming from and agree, but it goes to show how shallow some audiences can be.”

Audiences are given time during the show to speak up about the awards they’ve managed to score over their own illustrious careers, with some predictably unpredictable answers. “Things from swimming certificates to finishing a massive plate of fish ‘n’ chips in a restaurant and winning a T-shirt. One rather shy and unassuming Scottish woman during the Edinburgh Fringe last year was very reluctant to say what she’d won despite her friends pointing her out, so I thought it must be something else a bit silly. She eventually said with a shrug of the shoulders in a very understated manner that she was recently given an OBE! Wow! I wasn’t expecting that!”

So is it really an honour just to be nominated? “I’d say it would be an honour just to be nominated, yes. It still validates what you do and say that some people like think that your stuff is good. I would imagine that it would be quite exhilarating to be nominated, but also very disappointing to to lose out. I think it certainly helps in promoting yourself and and your shows in the future too regardless of whether you win or not.”

In addition to Award Winning, Coppin has his solo shows, Shaggers and Huggers, as well as doing other bits and pieces. So Nik, any final words? “So anyway, in short, get your lazy backside off your sofa and get out and see some shows that the artists work so hard in putting on every night!”

BY PETER HODGSON

Nik Coppin performs Award-Winning Comedian at Blue Diamond from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 21 (except Mondays and Wednesday April 18) at 8.30pm (7.30pm Sunday).

Tickets $20/$15 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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GEOFF PAINE UNPACK THIS!

Anger is surely something we can all relate to. We’ve all lost our temper at one time or another. We’ve all chucked something across the room in frustration, honked the car horn in righteous indignation or maybe written a passive aggressive note to our flatmates about respecting the designated fridge shelves. But not everyone has headbutted their neighbour and found themselves in a court-mandated anger management class. Writer, performer, producer and one-time Neighbours star Geoff Paine has, though.

“In 2008 I, one hot night, assaulted my neighbour. But of course, I broke the law in doing so. And I’d never been in a fight in my life!

I headbutted a man for the first time in my life in my 40s!” Paine was arrested that night for seriously causing reckless assault, or recklessly causing serious assault - he can’t quite recall which now, but “the sort of thing footballers often get pulled up for in bars,” - and was dragged into the police station, fingerprinted, had to make a statement, and was to be summonsed.

Prior to the summons though, Paine was recommended for a diversion program. “That’s when the cop says ‘he’s an idiot but he’s not a threat to society or a criminal.’ So I’m hauled up before the magistrate and she said I had to write a letter of apology to the victim, a letter of thanks to the cop, to pay $500 to a charity and to attend a one-day anger management workshop.” Paine found himself in a room with ten other guys who each had to fess up as to how they got there. Realising immediately that he was in the midst of comedy gold, he ran out to his car, grabbed a notebook and got scribbling. Eight hours later, Unpack This! was born.

“When we got there, the guy running the class said we were all going to unpack. I guess that’s the modern way of saying we were going to unburden. So I’ve turned it into a show, a four-hander. I play three of the men, Ross Daniels plays three of the men and I have Syd Brisbane and Michelle Nussey as social workers. I’ve embellished their relationship a little but it’s all based on what happened that day.”

The social worker running the course made each of the attendees explore and own up to what they’d done. “In my case we just hadn’t slept properly for about three months. But he kept going at all of us to work out what was the other truth behind it.

Unless you were the crim: there was a crim in the class who was fresh out of prison. He was let go. The fact that he’d even turned up was a miracle. But soft targets like me, they kept going.”

It must be a strange job, the social worker trying to intellectualise such a - forgive the wanky overrused word visceral emotion as anger, then tear it down into a ‘why.’ “While it does deal with the dark end of things, it also is a keenly ridiculous forum for a bunch of guys to talk about this! In the end it got so heated the guy running the class had to send us all out of the room to have an argument with one of the other guys, in an anger management class!”

BY PETER HODGSON

Geoff Paine performs Unpack This! at Chapel Off Chapel from Wednesday April 11 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays and Tuesdays) at 8.30pm. Ticket $30/$25, $25 preview from 8290 7000, chapeloffchapel.com.au and at the door

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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TINA C SORRY SEEMS TO

JENNY WYNTER

BE THE HARDEST WORD Christopher Green is coming to Melbourne to show off his onstage persona Tina C. She’s Green’s sassy American country-and-western singer, one who thinks she can solve everything from terrorism to the global financial crisis. While Tina has already aired her thoughts on post-9/11 terrorism, Tina’s moved on to Aboriginal reconciliation in the show Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word.

Tina’s outlandish behaviour onstage suggests Green himself might love the limelight. But then, when you meet him, he’s one of the most softly spoken and polite English gents you’re going to come across. Nothing about him suggests that he has a well-known second personality (aside from several others, including Ida Barr, a rapping pensioner) that pushes more buttons than a telephone operator. “[In the beginning], I think I was very nervous about being a performer, and I think what I did instinctively was I picked a character that was the least like me that it was possible to be...so I picked a woman, I picked an American, I picked someone really high status, really successful, someone who thought they were really beautiful and deserved to be looked at, you know all of these things that were very useful characteristics for me. I also love country music.”

One of Tina C’s most infamous acts included a ‘Twin Towers Tribute’ show, with the main poster of her act using her (rather fabulously toned) legs in place of the twin towers in the New York skyline. But Green has a good reason for having Tina do things her way.

“Tina’s a really useful theatrical tool for me to do things with...I want to make shows and examine what’s going on in the world, and I’ve chosen a sort of trashy way of doing that...I naturally pick subject matters that interest me, and that people go ‘Oh, you can’t really make a comedy show about that’, and I go ‘why not?’...It all fell into place when I did a show about 9/11...I’d just been in America for two months when 9/11 happened and I just thought America’s not working, it’s really weird. It was a really sort of [cold] place, with aggressive capitalism. So I had something to say and I thought Tina was the perfect person to do it.”

For the new show, Auriel Andrews, Aboriginal country musician, will be Tina’s ‘special guest’. Green explains how they came to collaborate,

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AN UNEXPECTED VARIETY SHOW

namely through Green seeing the Aboriginal country music documentary Buried Country: The Story of Aboriginal Country Music.

“I heard about this [documentary] and I got the DVD and I was blown away by it...I instantly thought, ‘Well, there’s a show in here, for me, because it’s about country music, and it’s how people get on...

The person that I really related to in that documentary was Auriel Andrews. I thought she was great, she was really spunky and witty and warm and lovely...I tracked her down and asked her to be in the show with me, and that’s how we got to know each other.”

BY SIOBHAN ARGENT

Tina C will perform Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word at Malthouse Theatre from Wednesday March 21 until Saturday April 14 (except Mondays, Friday April 6 and Tuesday April 10). Tickets $40/$33, $35 for groups of eight or more, $23 student, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013, malthousetheatre.com.au and at the door.

Jenny Wynter has come a long way since her stage debut in a grade-three performance of Hansel and Gretel as the Wicked Witch. The one-woman singing/dancing/improv machine is back to charm Melbourne with her latest version of An Unexpected Variety Show. The show made its mark in Melbourne at the Fringe Festival last year, where it won the award for Excellence in Cabaret.

The Brisbane-based performer explores character and musical comedy in her show. Wynter says it has a “storytelling thread about the unexpected twists in life, from unplanned pregnancy to finding yourself in the mountains of Canada, to having your wedding ceremony interrupted by an elderly man wearing nothing but a pair of dicktogs.”

Wynter was set to make her debut at the MICF in 2010, but as irony would have it, an ‘unexpected’ incident changed her plans.

“A few weeks before opening night, I was wiped out in a headon collision,” she says. Wynter was forced to spend months in recovery in what she describes as a “very deep, dark and at times self-indulgent depression”.

Needless to say, this year’s MICF appearance has been anticipated, not just by Melbourne but by Wynter herself. “To finally be bringing the show back to MICF just feels all the [more] sweeter,” she says.

“I’m almost tempted to coat my old neck brace in sequins and feathers and wear it as a little tribute to the phoenix-rising-fromthe-ashes sense of jubilation at having finally made it here!”

After a string of sold-out shows at Adelaide’s Fringe Festival last month, Wynter is on the road again, with her family in tow. “I have three kids who tour with me,” she says. “We’re a bit like the Partridge Family minus the bus, worldwide acclaim or money.”

Wynter has been juggling family commitments with comedy for almost seven years. “I only realised I could do [comedy] for a living

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

when I started doing it for a living,” she says. “Up until that point it had just been a great outlet and an excuse to get out of the house.”

An Unexpected Variety Show was directed by Gary Austin (a mentor of Helen Hunt and founder of the famous Groundlings Theatre in LA, where Will Ferrell, Lisa Kudrow and Paul Reubens got their start). Wynter worked him with on the show last year in Los Angeles.

The show has a very personal nature that is very close to Wynter’s heart. “I’ve found it opens strangers up to share their story with me,” she says. “I’ve been approached by people telling me their own very intimate ‘unexpected’ life twists, sometimes so personal that it’s brought them – and me – to tears. That really blows me away … and shows me that it’s worth it.”

Wynter’s daughter came and saw the show for the first time at Adelaide Fringe. “It was so emotional because she’s a key part of the story,” she says. During the show, Wynter told the audience it was a special night because her daughter was there. “I asked her if she wanted to come up onstage”, she says, “then in a scene not unlike umpteen American romantic comedies, she hopped up with me, and we embraced each other tearfully while the audience went wild. I really think that no matter what happens that moment will always be the pinnacle of my performing career.”

BY MEGAN HANSON

Jenny Wynter performs An Unexpected Variety Show at Butterfly Club, from Tuesday April 10 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays). Tickets $27/$24, $23 for groups of eight or more, and $15 for Tightarse Tuesdays from 9690 2000, thebutterflyclub.com and at the door.

DAVID TULK

TIM KEY

THE DIRTY BITS

MASTERSLUT

Tim Key’s first solo poetry show, The Slut In The Hat, soldout at Edinburgh. In 2009, Key’s way with words and comical timing earned him the Edinburgh Comedy Award with his show Slutcracker. Feeling a little bit dirty? Well since Tim Key has returned to Melbourne, why not get your Masterslut on?

Welcome to the wonderful world of Tim Key – immersive, evocative and refreshingly offbeat. After taking two years off to do some admin and bulk up, Tim Key is back at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Still doing his poems. Staying at The Medina Hotel. Double Bed. Key is rounding off his slutty trilogy with Masterslut, a fun filled fusion of poetry, anecdotes, short-short films and waterbased stunts. Yes you read the last one correctly.

This brilliantly bizarre hour of stand-up is brimming with amusingly awkward interjections, as this gauche gagster recites verses written on pornographic playing cards.

But don’t let his off-kilter nature and shambolics fool you. This

is one considered and calculated comedian.

Jump in to the dream-like world of Tim Key, and enjoy the third in this salacious, slutty series.

Tim Key performs Masterslut at the Fairfax Studio, Art Centre Melbourne from April 12-April 22 (except Mondays). It’s at 9.30pm from TuesdaySaturday and 8.30pm on Sunday. Tickets are $25$35 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

This is the show guaranteed to put the WTF back in WTF. The e Dirty Bits is a chance for top comedians to let you in on their ir dirtiest, darkest material, but be warned this show is not for those easily offended. Offence is almost a certainty.

One Sunday afternoon Tulky was sitting around with all his famous comedy mates when he thought, ‘Why don’t we all get together during the comedy festival and do a show?’. But not just any show, a show where you can do all the jokes you wouldn’t tell mum. In fact the kind of jokes that would make mum sick. The show went ahead and everyone was offended.

And they loved it!

This year the show that made wrong right again is back to rattle the cage and shine a light on comedy’s darkest thoughts.

With offensive performances from acts including Dave O’Neil, Dave Callan, Danny McGinlay, Hung Le, Dave Thornton and many more. It’s the late night underground show for grown-ups.

Hosted by David Tulk, don’t miss the chance to see the festivals top acts showing you their dirty bits.

WIN

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David Tulk presents The Dirty Bits at Blue Diamond from Wednesday March 28 – Saturday April 21 (with no shows Monday or Wednesday except March 28). It’s at 10pm and 9pm Sundays.

Tickets are $10-$15 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013, Tixnofee, Ticketbush, or at the door.

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THE BIG HOO-HAA!

It’s the show that began the burgeoning careers of Tim Minchin (So Rock), Claire Hooper (Good News Week) and Xavier Michelides (Rove). Since July 2010 The Big HOO-HAA! has been wowing Melbourne audiences with its special blend of high energy, improvised comedy, storytelling, singing and oneliners; all designed to make you howl with laughter.

Two teams (the Hearts and the Bones) battle it out armed with only audience suggestions as they leave no song unsung, no joke undelivered and no pun unpunished in their mad dash for the punch line.

Each show will feature some of Australia’s best improvisers alongside experienced comedians with an established festival profile. The show will follow the successful formula that has seen The Big HOO-HAA! run for more than nine years in Perth.

A weekly show has been running strong for over a year right here in Melbourne.

Featuring Jimmy James Eaton (MICF 2009 National Best & Fairest Improviser), Michelle Nussy (2010 National Theatre Sports Champion), Luke & Wyatt (Nickelodeon), Xavier Michelides (Rove), Jason Chatfield (Ginger Meggs) and many more. The Big HOO-HAA is guaranteed to get big ha-has.

The Big HOO-HAA will be performed at the Roxanne Parlour from March 28-April 21 (with no shows on Mondays or Sundays). It’s at 6.30pm.

Tickets are $10-$14 and are available from trybooking.com and at the door.

NICK CODY SINFUL THINKING Brash and confident, Nick Cody is a comedian to keep an eye out for. He’s got it all- the timing, the material selection, and the perfect mix of audacious and likeable. Nick Cody is brutally honest and an absolutely fantastic comedian.

Art, culture, politics. None of these things interest Nick. He prefers the simple pleasures in life, like getting pranked by a Thai lady-boy or his pet budgie swearing for the first time. Open your mind to Nick Cody’s Sinful Thinking.

As heard on Nova FM’s Hughesy & Kate and seen as a permanent cast member on Studio A, Nick Cody is a rising star.

Cody is cheeky and you can imagine he was a little shit in high school, yet there is something about him that you just like. An amiable smart arse, he is extremely self-deprecating to great success.

Brazen and ballsy, Nick Cody calls it exactly as he sees it. Male comedians can be labelled ‘chauvinistic’ if their bits about girlfriends aren’t executed correctly. Nick Cody absolutely nails it, all the while remaining absolutely charming.

Thinking about seeing a hilarious comedian? Think about seeing Sinful Thinking.

Nick Cody performs Sinful Thinking at Softbelly bar from March 29 – April 22 (no show on Friday April 14). It’s at 9.30pm from Tuesday – Saturday and 8.30pm on Sundays. Tickets are $15-$22 and are available from trybooking.com and at the door.

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

53

UMIT BALI

MEG PEE

The story of a teenage Fijian-Indian boy’s journey through the cultural swamp of bureaucracy to the promised land of permanent residency. A collection of oddball characters and anecdotes told through the eyes of this young boy.

Catch Umit Bali at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with his debut show Coming To Australia. Umit’s show tells the story of a young Fijian-Indian boy’s struggle through cultural prejudice and unusual encounters. Umit manages to overcome a plague of beaurocracy in this heartwarming wishout-of-water tale of adversity.

Umit Bali has stormed the Sydney comedy scene. His budding career has already seen him support international acts like Lee Camp, Tony Woods, Glenn Wool, Al Pitcher, and Jon Dore.

Wil Anderson deemed Umit “equal parts edgy and silly... hilarious”. Umit is quirky, lively, and incredibly funny. Make sure you check Umit out while his tickets are still unbelievably cheap.

This is life-as-an-immigrant humour at its very best.

Fresh from Melbourne Fringe comes Meg Pee high on her unique story telling antics and family of characters. Meg was that girl who did Hot Caz and the Runaway Muff (Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2009), opened suitcase 9 on Deal Or No Deal and recently featured (in the background) on Sunrise Weather.

Meg Pee has been performing for 30 years. She now returns to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with a brand new show- Close To You. Join Meg on her journey to discover you can’t change the soundtrack you’re given in life. Even if your life is riddled with the sweet, disturbing songs of Karen Carpenter, chops, 60 Minutes, Kevin Arnold, parachute pants, a clapping father, a mother who is elbow deep in sleeve protectors, and a gruff Nanna.

Meg wears them all in a dark, amusing, uplifting and bizarre character-based ode to Karen Carpenter.

CLOSE TO YOU

COMING TO AUSTRALIA

ADAM KNOX ALL WASHED UP

It’s 2062 and Adam Knox looks over the past 50 years of the career he’s about to have. A lifetime of dingy comedy clubs, late night shows, Hollywood and sordid affairs all culminate in his rise to failure.

A time-travelling hour of soothsaying stand-up, take a look into the exciting future of your world by exploring the past of an aged and exhausted Adam Knox. As one of the future’s biggest stars of yesteryear, Knox gives a retrospective on his five decade long career, detailing his personal successes and failures as well as the 50 years of global turmoil that happened alongside them.

Mixing stand-up, sketch, song and some predictions of the future that will more than likely seem ludicrous in retrospect, Knox’s imaginary comeback spectacular will prove to be just that. Spectacular, that is, not imaginary. It is actually happening.

Get your evening started with a man who’s already finished.

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Umit Bali performs Coming To Australia at the Melbourne Town Hall from April 12 – April 22.

It’s at 6pm from Tuesday-Sunday and at 5pm Sunday. Tickets are $10 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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IS TH S TO KET W AT U C I T SHO M.A O T.C BEA

Adam Knox in All Washed Up is on at The John Curtin Hotel from Thursday March 29 until Saturday April 21 (except Sundays and Wednesdays) at 6.30pm. Tickets $13.50 for preview shows on March 29-31; $16.50/$13.50 on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays or groups of four or more; $11.50 Mondays and Tuesdays.

Tickets from Ticketmaster online or 1300 660 013, at the venue through johncurtinhotel.com or on (03) 9663 6350 and at the door.

W IN

TI CK ET BE SHO S TO AT W TH .CO AT IS M .A U

Meg is open, honest and very warm. Open yourself to the weird and wonderful world of Meg Pee and her brand new show Close To You. Featuring Dan Violato on percussion.

Meg Pee performs Close To You at the Northcote Town Hall on April 12 -15, April 19-21 It’s at 8.30pm. Tickets are $12.50-$17.50 and are available from the Northcote Town Hall 9481 9500 or northcotetownhall.com.au, and at the door.

MIKE WILMOT

He’s got the character of a curmudgeon and the voice of Tom Waits with tonsillitis. The king of devilish diatribe is returning to Australia, bringing his legendary and much loved Barry Award winning potty-mouthed comedy with him. It’s the Comedy Festival’s funniest dirty ol’ bastard… Mike Wilmot!

Mike Wilmot is not afraid to be utterly filthy- and thank god for that. When he first performed on Australian shores in 2003 he drank on stage, hammered unsuspecting punters with lewd stories, making them the butt of the joke and by the end of the show, had talked about everything he promised not to at the beginning.

As he struts back and forth across the stage, beers promptly delivered to him by diligent stagehands, Mike Wilmot brings his wide-eyed audience a series of perfectly paced yarns spun in his own irreverent Oscar-the-grouch style.

Lavishing his audience with generous helpings of his hysterical bad boy anecdotes, Canada’s funniest raconteur uses his family and fellow North Americans to form the subject matter of this no holds barred show guaranteed to entertain Melbourne throughout this year’s Comedy Festival.

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

Mike Wilmot performs at Victoria Hotel from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets are $32 Saturdays, $32/$25 Fridays, $30/$25 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $25 Tightarse Tuesdays and groups of eight or more $25, available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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55

MICHAEL WORKMAN MERCY

In his first six months as a comedian, Michael had already won the National RAW Comedy Competition and been flown to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival to perform. He doesn’t shy away from ‘difficult’ topics, nor does he simply ‘toe the line’, he is an individual and a thinker.

Workman’s gothic and honest observations and philosophies make him one of the more unique performers in Australian comedy. Mercy is hilarious, moving and thought provoking.

Don’t miss out.

Michael Workman performs Mercy at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29

HERE COMES THE GIRLS

Women are funnier than men. Don’t believe it? Well we’re going to prove you wrong!

Lady Melville brings audiences Here Come the Girls. This is a unique opportunity for audiences to see a tasty selection of female comics. Watch both experienced and up and coming ladies rip it apart as these sassy sisters storm the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

These ladies are out to finally prove that not only are women funny, they’re much funnier than that other mob.

Every night a rotating lineup of Australia’s best and international female guests will split sides and have you rolling in the aisles. And there won’t be a period joke in site.* *This show may contain slight traces of period jokes as the festival does go for almost a month.

DAVID TULK DAVID TULK IS BROKE

David Tulk is a natural comedian. With an apparently effortless ease, Tulk is thoroughly engaging. Rude and outspoken, Tulk pushes the boundaries to exceptional results.

The world is in economic turmoil, the Euro is broken, the Yen is worth more as origami, but none of these things affect David Tulk, because he has always been broke. In his latest Comedy Festival show, Broke, he explores the divide between the rich and the poor. Tulk investigates why it is impossible to win Tattslotto, evil geniuses, and get rich quick schemes. With absolutely no knowledge of economics or even a basic understanding of finances, he sets out to right the wrongs that are somebody else’s fault.

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LACHLAN MARR

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ANGRY YOUNG MAN

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until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays). Tickets $23 Saturdays, $23/$20 Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays, and $20 Tightarse Tuesdays, from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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An exclusive debut performance from comedian Lachlan Marr, Angry Young Man is a show about life and politics in an age of cynicism. Ferociously funny and irreverently entertaining this is one young man you will like when he’s angry.

Marr has an anger forged in the furnace of the harsh and often hilarious modern world. With his sharp, acerbic wit, Lachlan slices through corporate pirates, murderous dictators, and the supposedly post-race, post-gender international political landscape.

Lachlan Marr performs Angry Young Man at

HUGGERS

TICK ETS T SHO O THIS BEAT W AT .COM Brought to you by the same people that put on a very popuB .AU

Here Comes The Girls will be performed at Roxanne Parlour from Wednesday March 28 – Saturday April 21 (not on Wednesday’s except March 28 or Sunday April 8 or 9).It’s at 9pm usually but 8pm on Sundays.Tickets are $10-$20 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 ketmaster 130 3 0 660 013, Tixnofee, Ticketbush or at the door..

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T SHO O THIS BEAT W AT .COM .AU

David Tulk performs David Tulk Is Broke at 1806 from March 28 – April 8 (with no shows Wednesdays except March 28). It’s at 7pm except on Sundays when it is at 6pm. Tickets are $10-$15 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013, Tixnofee, Ticketbush or at the door.

la adults-only late show, Huggers sits at the other end of the lar comedy spectrum, delivering an afternoon comedy and cabaret co show h that is suitable for all the family.

Following its successful debut at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2011, Huggers makes its debut appearance at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Produced by British comedian Nik Coppin - who has been described by Australian reviewers as “charming and endearing” with “charisma up the wazoo” – the show features comedians, magicians, kids entertainers and singers. m

THE RT DISHONOURABLE DICKIE DAVENTRY

the Robert Burns Hotel from Tuesday April 3 – Thursday April 5 and Wednesday April 11 – Friday April 13 at 7.30pm. Tickets are $20 and are available through Ticketmaster online or 1300 660 013.

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Huggers will be held at the Exford Hotel on March 31 and April 1, 7, 8, 14, 15 & 21 (Saturday & Sundays only). It’s at 2pm. Tickets are $5-$10 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013, Venue bookings 96632697, Tixnofee, e, Ticketbush Tick ketb tb bush u us or at the door.

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A VERY POLITICAL ENGLISHMAN

Over in the Old Country the Conservatives are back! Direct from sell-out shows in London and at The Edinburgh Festival 2011, character comedian Dave Lemkin brings you the longawaited memoirs of this former cabinet minister and one-time nibbler of Margaret Thatcher’s earlobes (amongst other bits).

This highly distinguished statesman and lover will take you on a rollicking ride through not just the story of his life but also the dark and mysterious corridors of power.

The Rt. Dishonourable Dickie Daventry performs A Very Political Englishman at 1806 from Saturday

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

March 28 – Saturday April 21 (execpt Mondays).

It’s at 9.30pm and 8.30pm on Sundays. Tickets are $10-$20 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013, Tixnofee, Ticketbush or at the door.

SHAGGERS

PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS 3D

The ancient art of genital origami is back with a brand new show, and this time in 3D. For the last dickade Puppetry Of The Penis has broken all box office records worldwide. Experience this outrageously funny production as it’s never been seen before.

After all, who doesn’t love a bit of dick humour.

One of the only shows to have a safety disclaimer: do NOT try this at home. Watching these dick tricks on the large screen and in 3D will pump all new life into the original genital origami.

The new show uses state of the art 3D technology from the same people who bought you James Cameron’s Avatar.

If you’re yet to see what weird and wonderful shapes these boys can make with their junk, you will want to rise to the occasion and get your ticket fast. There are even promises of some brand new tricks. Dancing cacti, sombreros, and the classic hot dog will leave you in stitches.

Puppetry Of The Penis will have you standing to attention.

Warning: may contain nudity.

OBIE HILARIOUS MIND CONTROL

Obie is unique on the comedy circuit. He has trained his brain using techniques from hypnosis, Neuro Linguistic Programming, and astounding memory techniques. He has the amazing ability to memorise a full pack of playing cards, and hundreds of random words. Remember these words: Obie is a very different kind of comedy.

Scottish comedian Obie has this year given up his day job to perform stand-up comedy full time.

During his career Obie has perfomed and produced eight unique shows in the Edinburgh festival. He was a finalist in Scottish Comedian of the Year in 2006, and has recently worked as a warm up man for the BBC. Now he’s decided to venture over to the other side of the world and bring his unique humour to Melbourne.

Obie’s show will impress and inspire. You will see an amazing demonstration of memory powers, surreal humour, brilliant improvising and great mental agility. Obie has proved that we are all capable of being so much more.

Puppetry Of The Penis 3D will run at Athenaeum Theatre from Tuesday April 17 until Sunday April 22 at 7pm (6pm Sundays). Tickets are $35 FridaySunday, $33 Wednesdays and Thursdays and $30 Tightarse Tuesdays from Ticketek online, 132 849, and at the door.

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Looking for something a little different at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival? Look no further than Obie: Hilarious Mind Control.

Obie performs Obie: Hilarious Mind Control at Roxanne Parlour from Wednesday March 28 – April 1 (except Mondays). It’s at 7.15pm and 6.15pm on Sundays. Tickets are $15-$20 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013, Tixnofee, Ticketbush or at the door.

For three years now Shaggers has become the cult hit show to go to at festivals worldwide. The biggest and best names coming together (pun intended) with some of the most promising rising stars at the festival for late show hilarity and unpretentious fun.

From its humble ‘just-for-a-laugh’ beginnings in a small room above a pub at the Edinburgh Fringe, Shaggers accidentally moved onwards and upwards to sell out shows at previous Australian comedy festivals and theatres as well as all over the UK. And it’s back in force again!

Shaggers does exactly what it does on the tin and provides the ideal end to a night’s comedy and stays true to its roots of no-nonsense-everybody-has-fun attitude.

If you want badgers and jam, political satire or pathos, Shaggers is not the show for you. Its origins and continuing mantra is to provide a refuge for those that have had enough of all the whimsy and just want to be part of something funny, convivial and highly entertaining.

You are guaranteed a good time if you watch Shaggers do their thing on stage.

Shaggers will be performed at the Exford Hotel on March 30 & 31 and April 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, 15, 20 & 21. It’s at 11pm and 10pm on Sundays. Tickets are $15-$20 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013, Venue bookings 9663 2697, Tixnofee, Ticketbush or at the door.

DENISE SCOTT REGRETS

Denise Scott has been on the television and comedy circuit for 30 years and this is immediately apparent. Unwaveringly in control, Denise is provocative without edging on vulgarity.

Her daring refusal to conform to the expected attitude of a mother is where she excels. She vocalises questions many women feel too guilty to ask, like: why won’t my kid get the hell out of my house?

It’s this blatant, unapologetic honesty that results in such revealing content.

Fresh from a year on Winners & Losers, Scott seems to be only gaining fans in Australian television audiences. Author, actor, comedian and mother, Denise Scott just won’t quitand thank god for that.

If you missed out on tickets to Denise’s show Regrets in last year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival show, you can finally stop crying as it is back again this year.

Regrets takes audiences back to the day when Denise was 16 and wondering ‘what if? ’to a particular incident. Forty years

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later at a chook meet, she unexpectedly found the answer to her lifelong question. Well, sort of.

Denise Scott performs Regrets at the Comedy Theatre on Saturday March 31, April 7, 14 & 21. It’s at 5.15pm. Tickets are $30-$35 and are available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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THE AFTER PARTY

Think the night’s over? Think again! Head to the Exford Hotel for an after show beer and a laugh right smack in the heart of the Comedy Festival district. The After Party continues its reign as the best value show of the Festival, offering up great local acts and international special guests performing snippets and promos of their shows. Giving you the opportunity to sample the antics of many of the Festival’s best performers and them the chance to bare all with their pants down comedy.

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Dave Callan performs The Graveyard Shift from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 at Portland Hotel at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays).

Tickets $19.50/$16.50, $14.50 for groups of six or

(except Mondays) at 7.45pm (6.45pm Sundays).

Tickets are $20/$18, $15 Tightarse Tuesdays and previews, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

WIN TICK ETS

COCKTAIL HOUR AT THE LUWOW Melbourne’s most sensational new venue, the LuWoW, plays host to an indulgence of epic proportions this MICF, as its troupe of wild Amazon warriors celebrate their latest victory in truly scintillating style.

Jungle hijinx, intrepid exploration and abandonment to mystic ritual are sure to feature. Can the stage of the LuWoW’s sumptuous Forbidden Temple contain the heat of these cavorting she-cats? Bewitching comedy burlesque awaits the intrepid souls who venture into the jungle’s depths to find out!

Amazons performs at the LuWow every Thursday

Hollywood actor, Craig Ricci Shaynak travels to Melbourne for the first time to play Google in his latest one-man show about the Internet and its impact on the modern world!

Get answers to all your questions from me, Google! Hang out with my ex-girlfriend, Twitter, her new boyfriend, Facebook and our old pal, Yahoo. Meet Craig and his list, Tom and his space, Wiki and his pedia! Bing is not invited.

Hollywood actor, Craig Ricci Shaynak travels to Melbourne for the first time to play Google in his latest one-man show about the Internet and its impact on the modern world!

Craig Ricco Shaynak performs I Am Google at

HHANNAH WANTS A WIFE

T Hannah Gadsby’s wit has earned her many awards. She is siSHO O THIS H BEAT W AT multaneously relaxed and impudent. Her topics could easily be m .COM .AU aattacking or patronising, yet she manages to highlight society’s

to Sunday night at 7.30pm from Thursday April until Sunday April 22. Tickets are $28.50/$23.50 and $23.50 for a group of five or more. Bookings at comedyfestival.com.au, trybooking.com or at the door.

h hypocrisy without abuse. Her comedy is punchy, intelligent, edgy aand polished.

Hannah Gadsby returns to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with her show about women as wives.

Who wouldn’t want a wife? They do things for you. If Hannah had a wife she would be wearing smarter shoes. If that wife were Liz Hurley then she would have had a facelift and a spray tan too.

Many heterosexual comedians joke about marriage equality in a far more scathing tone. Intellectual, unimpeding and very witty, Hannah Gadbsy is a must see at this year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Contact!

The netball musical

by Angus Grant

11 – 29 April 2012

Opera meets soap opera on a suburban netball court Arts Centre Melbourne, Fairfax Studio Book online or call 1300 182 183 A Full Tilt production

58

Roxanne Parlour from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 7 (except Saturday March 31) at 6pm (5pm Sundays). Tickets $20/$15, $13 groups of five or more, $12 Tightarse Tuesday from moshtix. com.au.

HHANNAH GADSBY

Arts Centre Melbourne presents

This project has been assisted by the Australian Government through the Australia Council for the Arts, its arts funding and advisory body.

more, $12.50 Tightarse Tuesdays, $10 previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

I AM GOOGLE

ARE YOU FINISHED WITH THAT?

AMAZONS

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CRAIG RICCI SHAYNAK

EMMA ZAMMIT

Emma Zammit performs Are You Finished With That? at The Bookshop, Trades Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22

THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT

Recounting tales of plenty of kooky callers from his stint as a late-night radio, host Dave Callan will condense five years of after-hours triple j insanity in one amazing hour.

The After Party runs at Exford Hotel from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 21 at 10.30pm (11.30pm Thursday April 5 and Saturdays and Sundays). Free.

Are You Finished With That? is Emma Zammit’s debut solo show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

The show is a “psychological” study on food and Emma.

If you don’t know Emma, she’s the one following the hors d’oeuvres tray at functions. You see Emma and food are in a relationship. It’s starting to affect friendships, family and innocent bystanders. They need to learn to have a healthy relationship before they both self-destruct.

DAVE CALLAN

artscentremelbourne.com.au

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

Hannah Gadsby performs Hannah Wants A Wife at the Victoria Hotel from Thursday March 29 Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sundays). Tickets are $30 Saturdays, $28/$26 Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays, through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

RYAN WALKER

MORVEN SMITH

MAN UP!

ONE IN A MILLION

If you were invited to your 10-year high school reunion, would you go? That’s the dilemma Ryan’s facing. After all, they’re the same people that voted him “Most likely to be on the dole in five years”. Will he run away like he always does, or can he face his demons and Man Up!

Morven has wanted to do comedy since she was 11, but life got in the way. Twenty years on she took to the stage and established her “upbeat yet bitchy and cynical” style. Fresh from sold out shows at the 2011 Melbourne Fringe as part of critically acclaimed 4’s Kin and a run at the 2011 Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Morven will share tales of political misadventure, poor life choices and one particularly unhappy love affair.

Ryan Walker performs Man Up! at Fad Gallery from Friday April 6 until Saturday April 21 (except Mondays and Sundays) at 7.30pm. Tickets $18/$15, $15 victims of bullying, $14 Tightarse Tuesdays from rywalker.tumblr.com and at the door.

Morven Smith performs One In A Million at The Tuxedo Cat from Thursday March 29 until

THE AXIS OF AWESOME

ANDREW O’NEILL

The Axis of Awesome are the world’s most awesomest comedy band. In the incredible time that they have been together, they have done literally so much stuff. It’s been two years since they’ve performed in Melbourne, and they’re super-excited to bring their unique brand of musical comedy back to the city that sometimes sleeps – for one week only.

The UK’s foremost heavy-metal occultist vegan transvestite stand-up comedian returns to Australia due to three people on Facebook being very insistent. Following another storming run at the Edinburgh Fringe, and having performed in every corner of the British Isles, Andrew O’Neill is back with a brand-new show and at least three new jokes.

THE AXIS OF AWESOME WORLD TOUR 2006

The Axis of Awesome perform The Axis Of Awesome World Tour 2006 at The Hi-Fi from

PRECIOUS GIFT BURLESQUE

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ALTERNATIVE Tuesday April 17 until Sunday April 22, at 9.30pm (8.30pm Sunday). Tickets are $28/$24, $24 groups of 8 or more and $22 Tightarse Tuesday from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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SEX PEST

A neo-burlesque celebration of striptease, subversion, sparkles…’n’ shit.

Sex Pest is the much anticipated debut production from Precious Gift Burlesque, a comedy-driven troupe with a reverence for the history of the art form, an eye on the international burlesque revival and a commitment to the development of Australian burlesque.

Becky Lou, Betty Blood, Honey B. Goode, Lallah L’amore and Peachey Dream serve you sexy on a cheese plate, in

Tuesday April 10 (except Wednesdays) at 6pm (5pm Sundays). Tickets $20/$18, groups of six or more $18, previews and Tightarse Tuesdays $15 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

this deliciously lowbrow romp for lovers of muff and mirth.

Sex Pest is showing at Red Bennies on Saturday March 31, then running from Wednesday April 4 to Saturday April 7 at 9.30pm. Tickets $22 pre-sale or $25 at the door available through Ticketmaster online or Red Bennies (03) 9826 2689 and at redbennies.com

Andrew O’Neill performs Alternative from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Th

Mondays and Tuesdays) at Pony at 7.30pm.

Tickets $25/$22 Fridays and Saturdays, $23/$20 Thursdays and Sundays, $20/$17 Wednesdays, $18 preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

BEV KILLICK B GOES “THERE” G

N Nominee for the Green Room Award for the Most Innovative Cabaret Show- Bev Killick is back at the Melbourne C IInternational Comedy Festival. Racy songs, naughty stories and quick fire gags guaranteed to make you laugh your funbags off.

Join the star and co-writer of Busting Out! as she puts the puppies back in the kennel and steps out for an hilarious night of stand-up where nothing is sacred. Bev Killick Goes “There” promises to be a riot. With innate comedic abilities and keen knack of remembering jokes, Bev gets the crowd laughing nonstop each and every time she performs.

In your face, fun, and funny you should definitely go “there” with Bev Killick.

Bev Killick performs Goes “There” at Melbourne Town Hall on Monday April 9 and Monday April 16 at 7.15pm. Tickets are $25 and are available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

59

THE PEER REVUE

BOGAN BINGO

Australia’s finest thinking comedians have joined forces! Simon Pampena (The Maths Olympics, The Probability Drive) rocks you with the power of maths; Ben McKenzie (The Man in the Lab Coat, Museum Comedy) helps you cope with the vast cosmos; Trent McCarthy (Turning Sudanese, Dr Game Show) has you besieged by cephalopods; Nicholas J Johnson (Australia’s Honest Con Man, The Bad Science Show) clues you in on the science of scams. It’s a smorgasbord of factual funniness – with a few surprises in store. Catch it before they evolve.

The Peer Revue takes place at The Kelvin Club, Melbourne Place from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 7 (Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, Sundays and Friday March 30 only) at

THE BOGAN BINGO COMEDY HOUR

Bogan Bingo is the game show that can change a person forever. They usually think it’s for the best as the teams’ quick wit, irreverent dry humour and crowd interaction make for one of the funniest nights you can stumble across.

7.30pm. Tickets $22/$18, groups of 10 or more $18, $15 preview from trybooking.com and at the door.

LIFE IS WUNDERBAR (INDIVIDUAL RESULTS MAY VERY)

A BRIEF HISTORY OF HISTORY

A mildly ambitious attempt to cover the complete history of civilisation, with jokes, in one hour. With a battered music sampler and some old-fashioned visual aids, Gordon Southern will bluff and bluster through time with his unique, poetic, clever and joyfully freewheeling style.

Tuesday $18 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

CHRIS KP

PRE-COITAL: THE SCIENCE OF DATING

This hilarious mix of music, comedy, sketches and science poses a simple question: can science help you find your perfect mate? Chris KP (and live band) explore pheromones, faces, the physics of condoms and much more. Energetic and informative, Pre-Coital offers an understanding of life’s most powerful forces and society’s most compelling and titillating topics of conversation. This is achieved not from schoolyard giggles, public bar theories or old spouse’s tales, but from the rational, objective and fascinating viewpoint of science.

Tightarse Tuesdays from boganbingo.com and at the door.

CJ DELLING

GORDON SOUTHERN

Gordon Southern performs A Brief History Of History at The Forum from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays).

Tickets $24/$22, preview and Tightarse

Bogan Bingo perform The Bogan Bingo Comedy Hour at Bridie O’Reilly’s from Wednesday March 28 until Wednesday April 18 (except Mondays, Sundays, and Thursdays and Friday April 6) at 8pm. Tickets $20 Fridays and Saturdays, $17/$15 Mondays and Wednesdays, $15 previews and

CJ Delling’s new stand up show Life Is Wunderbar (Individual Results May Vary) explores the lighter side of life, looking at everyone’s favourite categories: work, travel, health, relationships and the best of all, “other”. CJ is 100% German and having lived in Sydney for the last seven years, now also 8.4% Australian. Her new show is a punctual and mathematically challenged rollercoaster ride.

CJ Delling performs Life Is Wunderbar (Individual Results May Vary) at The Bull And Bear Tavern, from Wednesday March 28 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8pm. Tickets $18/$15, $16 Tightarse Tuesdays, $15 preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

MIKE MCLEISH & FIONA HARRIS PLUS ONE

Chris KP performs Pre-Coital: The Science Of Dating at The Kelvin Club, Melbourne Place on Wednesday March 28, Wednesday April 4, Thursday April 5 and Saturday April 7 at 9.15pm. Tickets $22/$18, groups of ten or more $18, preview $15 from trybooking.com and at the door.

Every group of friends has its little mysteries. Every couple has its not-so-little secrets. And everyone has to be someone’s …Plus One. A character-based comedy about what happens when a group of old mates catch up for the first time in ages. From the perpetually single 30-something caught between Gens X & Y, to the beaming couple whose marital bliss is more than a little bit creepy, to the cashed-up former hippie who thinks baby seals are big enough to fend for themselves.

Mike McLeish and Fiona Harris perform Plus One at Trades Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays). Tickets $26.50/$20, Tightarse Tuesdays and preview $20 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

MAX ATTWOOD & PAUL CULLIVER

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER March 28 – April 21 8.30pm, Tuesday – Saturday Previews March 28 – 30

Fad Gallery 14 Corrs Lane, Melbourne (off Little Bourke Street in Chinatown, next to Eurotrash)

Tickets: www.trybooking.com/BCHM and at the door Previews + Tightarse Tuesday $10.00 Full $17.00 Concession $14.00 Group (4+) $13.00

60

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

A safe level of hilarity.

“High quality comedy that works on wit, charm and intelligence” Australian Stage “Catch a glimpse of the comedic talent of the future” Buzzcuts

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THE HORNE SECTION

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After an immensely popular debut at the 2011 Comedy Festival the Horne Section are coming back. Alex and his magnificent band (session players with Madness, Girls Aloud and more) join guest comedians in “an uproarious cabaret affair” The List.Jazz-infused comedy, late, live and loud! Part improvised, part honed, part performance, part party. Alex and his Magnificent Band welcome various comedians on to improvise a short piece, sing a song or do whatever they please, but backed and, indeed, improved by jazz.

The Horne Section perform at The Famous Spiegeltent from Thursday April 12 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 10pm (9pm Sundays).

Tickets $31 Saturdays, $31/$25.50 Fridays; $29/$25.50

HEADLINERS

A star-spangled showcase of America’s hottest comedy.

Three exclusive-to-Melbourne Australian debuts and the return of an old friend - our current faves from the indie rooms and the club and festival circuits, featuring Andy Kindler, Kyle Kinane, Keith Robinson and Kumail Nanjiani.

Headliners runs at The Hi-Fi from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 8 (except Mondays) at 9.30pm (8.30pm Sundays).

Tickets $31.50 Saturdays, $31.50/$25.50 Fridays, $29.50/$25.50 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $25.50 previews and Tightarse

Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays; preview, Tightarse Tuesday and groups of eight or more $25.50 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

WINTHIS

TO TICKETS AT SHOW M.AU BEAT.CO

Tuesdays from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

SIMON AMSTELL

Acclaimed US comedian Wanda Sykes has comfortably claimed her peer-voted position in Entertainment Weekly’s 25 Funniest People in America. The Emmy Award winner features on Comedy Central’s 100 Greatest StandUps of All-Time, and in 2009 she was accorded the honour of an invitation to MC the White House Correspondents’ dinner. Give it up, Melbourne, for Ms Wanda Sykes…

Wanda Sykes performs at Melbourne Town Hall (Fridays and Saturdays at RMIT Capitol Theatre) from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 8 (except Mondays) at 8.30pm (9.30pm Sundays). Tickets $38 Saturdays, $38/$31 Fridays,

$35/$31 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $31 preview and Tightarse Tuesdays from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

GREG BEHRENDT

CLOWN FROM THE NECK DOWN

Greg Behrendt is an acclaimed lifelong stand-up comedian who has employed his wit widely. Co-author of the worldwide best selling He’s Just Not That Into You and a consultant on Sex And The City; he’s performed improv with Margaret Cho, David Cross and Patton Oswalt; he was the host of the weirdly named talk show Greg Behrendt Show and he is the musical force behind America’s only instrumental surf, ska & punk combo, The Reigning Monarchs.

Greg Behrendt performs Clown From The Neck Down at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday

March 29 until Sunday April 8 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets $32 Saturdays, $32/$25.50 Fridays, $30/$25.50 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $25.50 Tightarse Tuesdays and preview, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

DAVID O’DOHERTY LOOKING UP

NUMB

What a rubbish year. Seriously. The recession, and the earthquakes, revolutions crushed by tyrants, and David has been punched in the face twice by strangers on the street for no reason. And he had a mouse in his house. And then recently the screen on his phone smashed and now they want £100 to fix it. It’s enough to bring a lesser person down. It’s enough to bring David down. But he has managed to write some jokes about it.

Acclaimed comedian, actor/screenwriter (Grandma’s House), TV presenter (BBC’s Never Mind The Buzzcocks, Channel 4’s Popworld) and courter of controversy Simon Amstell is a household name in the UK and this Melbourne Comedy Festival season marks his Australian debut.

Simon Amstell performs Numb at Melbourne Town Hall from Tuesday April 10 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays).

Tickets $35 Saturday, $35/$25.50 Fridays, $33/$25.50

WANDA SYKES

Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $30 groups of eight or more, and $25.50 Tightarse Tuesdays and preview, from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

David O’Doherty performs Looking Up at The Forum from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7.30pm (6.30pm

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

Sundays). Tickets are $37.50 Saturdays, $37.50/$29 Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Sundays, $29 Tightarse Tuesdays and $27.50 previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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AARDVARKS ANONYMOUS

WHO KILLED JOHN BEARINGTON III

THE GHOSTS THAT ROCKED ME

…is the question on everybody’s lips. A wealthy, bitter old bear, there’s plenty that might want him dead. Five suspects, all with their own motives, face off against one detective in a battle of wits. The truth will out, but despite his steely determination, this hard-boiled shamus didn’t count on them being a complete bunch of puppets.

Penny’s life gets turned upside down when she discovers a band of washed-up wannabe rockers have been musically narrating her life from beyond the grave!

The ghosts break themselves out of their purgatory cage and blast into Penny’s world to capture every second of her downfall in outrageous melodies.

Aardvarks Anonymous perform The Ghosts That Rocked Me at Word Warehouse from Thursday April 5 until Sunday April 22 (Thursdays-Sundays only) at

9.30pm (7.30pm Sundays). Tickets $22/$20, $18 for groups of five or more, from dramatix.com.au and at the door.

THE COMEDY ZONE

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We interrupt your programming to bring you this very special newscast… There’s only one place to experience Australia’s best stand-up-and-comers in the one show, and that’s The Comedy Zone. Get on the Comedy Zone radar with Khaled Khalafalla, Laura Hughes, Tom Gaynor, Dayne Rathbone and Damien Power. These talented comedians are the next big thing to stand up behind the mic.

The Comedy Zone runs Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at Trades Hall at 9.30pm (8.30pm Sundays). Tickets $22.50/$18.50, $21 for groups of four or more,

$18.50 Tightarse Tuesdays and previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

JIMMY JAMES EATON

AARON SOUTHGATE

LIVE FROM BEN ELTON’S GRAVE

As a musician, he has been complimented by both Jello Biafra and Adam Ant. He has played alongside members of The Graveyard Train and has just completed a sitcom pilot with crew members from ABC 2’s The Bazura Project. Now Aaron Southgate busts a move into stand-up comedy with his endearing and outlandish show, Live From Ben Elton’s Grave.

Aaron Southgate performs Live From Ben Elton’s Grave at The House of Jarrari (relocated from Warburton Lane) from Tuesday April 10 until

DOM ROMEO

STAND-UP SIT-DOWN: COMICS IN CONVERSATION

ONE SMALL SKETCH FOR MAN

With a rapid fire of voices, characters, quips and booming man-made sound effects, Jimmy brings the funny thick and fast. His exceptional grasp on a broad range of performance skills allow him to create whole worlds on stage. Hilarious, colourful worlds.

Jimmy James Eaton performs One Small Sketch For Man at Three Degrees from Thursday March 29 until Saturday April 21 (except Sundays, Mondays, Friday April 6 and Saturday April 7) at 8.30pm.

Tickets $20/$15, $15 Tightarse Tuesdays and $10

Who Killed John Bearington III runs at Word Warehouse from Tuesday April 10 until Saturday April 21 (except Sundays and

for groups of ten or more from 3dcomedy.com.au/ bookings and at the door.

Dom Romeo’s a comedy nerd who’s judged comedy competitions, hosted podcasts and interviewed just about everyone, including heroes like The Mighty Boosh, various Goodies, Pythons, Young Ones and Goons and local and international stand-up legends. In the process, Barry Humphries has insisted, “they don’t know how much they need you,” Rik Mayall has declared him his “ favourite***bag journo c***-slime of all time” - offering, meanwhile, to shag his sister with Adrian Edmondson - and Spike Milligan has told him to “bugger off! For this late-night festival show

Dale Craig & Andrew Brown’s Directed by

R os s M acckk

Where: (The Champagne Lounge) 577 Little Bourke St (Cnr King St) When: 8pm 28 & 29 March 3,4,11,12,17,18,19 April All Tickets: $20 Bookings: www.trybooking.com/BCSC

www.thecomedygallery.com.au With Special Guest

Ros ie Rod iadi s

To Dream mT The he I Impossible mpo Dream Drea Don’t just ust Dream D it, it t Come C and live liv it t

ZOE COOMBS MARR GONE OFF

MELBOURNE TOWN HALL: BACKSTAGE ROOM 29 MARCH — 22 APRIL 6PM*

NICK COYLE ME PREGNANT!

MELBOURNE TOWN HALL: LUNCH ROOM 29 MARCH — 22 APRIL 6PM*

A PRIVATE WORD WITH

PETUNIA MCLAREN

Hares & Hyenas 63 Johnston St Fitzroy

Tues April 10 - Sat April 14: 7:30pm Sun April 15: 6:30pm Tues April 17 - Sat April 21: 7:30pm Tickets from: http://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2012/season/ shows/private-word-with-petunia-mclaren-a/ WINNER PHILIP PARSONS PLAYWRIGHT’S AWARD, 2011 BEST NEWCOMER NOMINEE, MICF 2011 “DELICIOUSLY AWKWARD… VERY FUNNY” —The Age

62

WINNER BRISBANE POWERHOUSE OUTSTANDING COMEDY AWARD, 2011 WINNER SMAC AWARDS BEST ONSTAGE, 2011

“INFECTIOUSLY CHARMING, (HILARIOUSLY) STUPID ” —Time Out

“THERE’S WHIMSY, AND THEN THERE’S NICK COYLE” —Concrete Playground

*5PM SUNDAY, NO MONDAY SHOW TICKETMASTER.COM.AU

*5PM SUNDAY, NO MONDAY SHOW TICKETMASTER.COM.AU

Full: $20 Concession: $15 Group bookings (5 or more people): $12 per person Tightarse Tuesdays: all tickets $15

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

Mondays) at 11pm. Tickets $10 from pastiche. the.series@gmail.com and at the door.

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Saturday April 21 (except Mondays and Sundays) at 9pm. Tickets $22.50/$17.50 from trybooking. com and at the door.

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Dom’s got lots of big names under the spotlight in an Inside the Actors Studio of comedy.

Dom Romeo presents Stand-Up Sit-Down: Comics in Conversation at Upstairs at Hairy Little Sista from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 8 (except Mondays). Tickets: $25/$21 from tixnofee.com or at the door.

PETER HELLIAR

KEVIN KROPINYERI

Pete has been one of Australia’s favourite comedians since he appeared on our screens on Rove back in 1999. Whether he’s taking the football world by storm with his character Strauchnie, writing and starring in his very own feature film, I Love You Too, or touring to sold-out houses in Australia and New Zealand, Peter Helliar is always making people laugh.

Now older but probably no wiser, Pete will be back at the Comedy Festival with his snazziest show yet.

Kevin Kropinyeri is one of the fastest rising stars in Australian comedy.

Get ready for the ride of your life as this one man whirlwind runs rings around growing up, marriage and the particular, absurd tangles of life as an Aboriginal Australian family man.

SNAZZY

Peter Helliar performs Snazzy at The Hi-Fi from Friday March 30 until Sunday April 22 (FridaySunday only) at 7pm (6pm Sunday). Tickets $35

GUESS WHO?

Fridays and Saturdays, $33/$30 Sundays, $25 previews from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

GOOD AZ FRIDAY: TRIPLE J LIVE RADIO SHOW

Vivacious, canny and thoroughly adept, Dave Thornton graces the Melbourne International Comedy Festival once again. Some may know him from The Project, but seeing Dave take to the stage is something else entirely.

Success is like a tan - people can usually tell when it’s fake. After fivestar reviews at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and sold-out shows in Johannesburg, the world is taking notice of Dave Thornton. However that all amounted to nothing when earlier this year he was asked to give a career talk to a bunch of 12 year old kids.

Perhaps choosing a stand up comedian to inspire ‘our future’ was a mistake? Would Dave tell them what they should hear or would he tell them the truth?

MARK THOMAS (

)

A man of many endeavours, Mark Thomas has trodden the boards worldwide to critical acclaim and now it’s Melbourne’s turn to witness his inimitable spin on the comedy art form in a thought provoking tale.

Passionate and political, Mark Thomas is practically comedy perfection.

Legendary British comic and agitator, Mark Thomas comes to Australia for the first time with his critically acclaimed hit, Extreme Rambling (Walking the Wall).

Based on his attempt to walk the entire length of the Israeli barrier in the West Bank, award-winning comedian, writer, presenter, journalist and all round dissident tells the tale of 500,000 settlers, a 750km wall, six arrests, one stoning, too much hummus and a simple question... Can you ever get away from it all with a good walk?

Good Az Friday: triple j Live Radio Show takes place at Melbourne Town Hall on Friday April 6 at 12pm. Free.

THE SOME OF ALL THE PARTS

of eight or more, $20 previews and Tightarse Tuesdays from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

EXTREME RAMBLING WALKING THE WALL

The Comedy Festival’s most sacriligious radio broadcast returns in 2012!

Spend your Good Friday with triple j’s Tom and Alex plus the Festival’s best comedians, live music and propelled chocolate.

DAVE THORNTON

Kevin Kropinyeri performs Guess Who? at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sundays). Tickets $24/$20, $22 groups

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D Dave Th Thornton t performs The Some Of All The Parts at the Swiss Club from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.30pm (8.30pm Sundays). Tickets are $26/$24 ($22 Tightarse Tuesdays) and are available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and on the door.

THE TELESCOPE

Winning Best Newcomer for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and Best Comedy at the Melbourne Fringe, Claudia O’Doherty’s quirky comedy style is widely acclaimed. Some may find her downright bizarre yet this is what makes her so refreshing. While she may not have a traditional comedy style, this is not to the detriment of her ability to charm audiences into booming and consistent laughs.

Claudia’s 2011 show What Is Soil Erosion included both zapping the audience with lasers and serious environmental questions. Her ability to shift from insightful to outre is unparalleled in Australian comedy theatre.

What will we see through Claudia’s telescope? Well... who would dare predict the utterly unpredictable?

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

Mark Thomas performs Extreme Rambling at the Trades Hall from March 29-April 22 (with no shows on Mondays). It’s at 7.30pm from Tuesday-Saturday and 6.30pm on Sundays. Tickets are $25-$31.50 and are available from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Claudia O’Doherty performs The Telescope at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.30pm (7.30pm Sundays).

Tickets are $26/$24 ($22 Tightarse Tuesdays) available through Ticketmaster online,1300 660 013 and at the door.

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BEN LOMAS

4’S KIN

THE VICIOUS CYCLE

Your daily commute has never been this funny.

Cycle, drive and run red lights to buy tickets – this is peakhour comedy from a comedian at his peak. Sold out at the last five festivals.

Ben Lomas performs The Vicious Cycle at Softbelly Bar from Tuesday April 10 until Saturday April 21 (except Sundays and Mondays) at 8.15pm. Tickets $20/$18, $15 preview and Tightarse Tuesdays, from trybooking.com.au and at the door.

After debuting their individual styles to sell-out audiences at the Melbourne Fringe Festival, the hotshot accountant, the uni bum, the fat fuckwit and the girl grab the mic again with new slices of stand-up comedy.

4’s Kin perform at The Irish Times from Thursday April 5 until Saturday April 21 (except Wednesdays) at 7.15pm. Tickets $14/$12, $12 TIghtarse Tuesdays, $10 preview from trybooking.com and at the door.

COMMEDIA DELL’PARTE

Not hibernating for the festival Commedia Dell’Parte is one of Melbourne’s premiere comedy rooms dedicated to promoting Australian comedy. Every Thursday they will feature up-and-coming comedians alongside established comics performing for your enjoyment.

Commedia Dell’Parte takes place at George Lane Bar from Thursday March 29 until Thursday April 19 (Thursdays only) at 8.30pm. Free.

ALEX HORNE SEVEN YEARS IN THE BATHROOM

The Horne Section maestro – back with his Australian solo debut. Alex Horne’s new show is the ultimate stat-based, funpacked thought-provoking experimental-and-sometimes-stupid hour-long comedy show.

Alex Horne performs Seven Years In The Bathroom at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 21 until Sunday April 22 at 7.15pm (6.15pm Sunday). Tickets $31 Saturdays, $31/$25 Fridays, $29.50/$25 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $25 Tightarse Tuesdays and preview from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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CONTACT!

NATH VALVO WALK OF SHAME Walk of Shame is the follow up to Nath’s sold out 2011 Melbourne Comedy Festival show People That Annoy Me. Nath is no longer annoyed, but he has a lot to be ashamed of. In 2011 Nath got fired from community radio, applied for the dole and, at the tender age of 27 years old, continues to steal money from his dad’s wallet. Come take a walk and have a chat with Nath Valvo.

Nath Valvo performs Walk of Shame at Trades Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays and Friday March 30) at 8.45pm (Sunday 7.45pm). Tickets $20/$17; $15 groups of five or more, previews and Tightarse Tuesdays through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Opera meets soap opera in this suburban tale of thwarted desires, dark secrets and taped fingernails.

Formidable coach Bev and the under-21 team from the Hyatt Park Rangers are gearing up for the big game against their long-time rivals. But who is playing for keeps?

Contact! runs at Arts Centre from Wednesday April 11 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (2pm & 7pm Saturdays and Friday April 13, 2pm Sundays). Tickets $44/$36, $32 for groups of seven or more from artscentremelbourne. com.au, 1300 182 183 and at the door.

ELBOWSKIN HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE After a sell-out 2010 season, Melbourne’s favourite musical comedy duo are back to rewrite the storybook, sing you a lullaby, tuck you into bed... and give you a happy ending.

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ElbowSkin perform Hey Diddle Diddle at Softbelly Bar from Thursday March 28 until Sunday April 8 at 8.15pm (7.15pm Sundays). Tickets $20/$15, $15 Tightarse Tuesday and previews from elbowskin. com.au and at the door. Ginger beards free.

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Dave Purcell performs Mix Tape at Butterfly Club from Tuesday April 3 until Sunday April 8 at 7pm (6pm Tuesday and Wednesday). Tickets $20/$15, $18 for groups of eight or more from thebutterflyclub.com, 9690 2000 and at the door.

10 TERRORISTS! 10 Terrorists! questions the world we live in. It is wildly funny, controversial and speaks directly into our media-saturated 21st century world, and the absurdity of capitalism’s insatiable need to exploit.

10 Terrorists! screens at Greater Union Cinema on Thursday March 29, Friday March 30, Friday April 6, Friday April 13 and Friday April 20 at 9pm (5.30pm Thursday). Tickets $17/$14, $35 Thursday from 10terrorists.com and at the door.

Prepare to be taken on a fascinating and funny adventure, as this wily wanderer journeys through time-zones and across hemispheres, sharing tales of beaver politics in native Canada, unfathomably strong Belgian beer, and a compromising strip-search at an Indonesian airport.

Glenn Wool performs No Lands Man at the Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.30pm (8.30pm Sundays). Tickets are $31 Saturdays, $31/$25 Fridays, $29.50/$25 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

THE 8TH ANNUAL DEAKIN COMEDY REVUE BOOM TISH

BuST Co. is back for its 8th time to present to you their Annual Deakin Comedy Revue, a comedy sketch show written by the talented performers themselves. Based on life’s antics and incorporating not only drama but also music, visual and sound effects. A random but hilarious assortment of short sketches that will have you in stitches and wanting more

The 8th Annual Deakin Comedy Revue: Boom Tish runs at The Colonial Hotel Thursday April 5, then Saturday April 7 until Saturday April 21 (WednesdaysSaturdays only) at 7pm. Tickets $15 from 0410 746 555, mail@bustco.com.au and at the door.

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SEX, MONEY, POWER, CHICKEN NUGGETS

Chris Dewberry performs Sex, Money, Power, Chicken Nuggets at The Irish Times from Thursday April 5 to Saturday April 21 at 8.30pm (no show Wednesdays). Tickets are between $12 and $16 and are available through comedyfestival.com.au, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Mix Tape. Noun. An outdated format given as a ‘gift’. May contain subliminal and/or cheesy messages. Compare the product lifespan with the time and energy of production itself and a mix tape can often seem economically unviable. Truly it is the nostalgic epitome of ‘the thought that counts’.

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CHRIS DEWBERRY Chris has never paid for sex (at least not in any kind of formal arrangement) but he consistently pays for chicken nuggets even though they’re less satisfying, less healthy, and lead to more tortured birds. So why do we do it?

In Chris’ efforts to figure this shit out, he’s come across some big inconsistencies. So if you want to find out why cheese makes us hate poor people, why getting Botox shows you’ve matured more on the outside than you have on the inside, and why a straight man would ever want to seduce Bob Katter, then this is the show for you.

GLENN WOOL DAVE PURCELL NO LANDS MAN MIX TAPE

HUNGRY FOR LAUGHS

The 1st annual Prader-Willi Syndrome Association comedy festival benefit show.

For one night only, we have some of Australia’s best, brightest and funniest comedians giving their time and jokes to support everyone connected with this rare and very complex genetic disorder. 100% of the profits are donated to the PWSA.

Hungry For Laughs is held at The Order Of Melbourne on Sunday April 8 at 8.30pm.

Tickets $35/$30, $25 for PWSA members from trybooking.com and at the door.

SHAPPI KHORSANDI

ME AND MY BROTHER IN OUR PANTS, HOLDING HANDS The darling of the Edinburgh Fringe and British primetime TV, the infinitely beguiling and courageously funny Shappi Khorsandi makes her long-awaited return to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival with a show about a brother and sister who were best friends, but also beat each other up.

Shappi Khorsandi performs Me And My Brother In Our Pants, Holding Hands at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (6pm Sundays).

Tickets $33 Saturdays, $33/$25.50 Fridays, $31/$25.50 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $25.50 preview and Tightarse Tuesdays from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

TIM FITZHIGHAM GAMBLER

Tim FitzHigham is a multi-award winning stand-up comedian, author and world record holder. Some call him inspirational, many call him mad, but he likes to refer to himself as a mere battler of boredom. Join FitzHigham as he tries his luck at some of the weirder wagers in history, in a hilarious bettacular event. Go on, take a punt on Tim!

Tim FitzHigham performs Gambler at the Victoria Hotel from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.30pm (7.30pm Sunday). Tickets $31 Saturdays, $31/$25 Fridays, $29.50/$25 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, and $25 Tightarse Tuesdays and previews, from Ticketmaster 1300 660 013 and at the door.

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

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CELIA PACQUOLA DELAYED

Tales of international idiot-ventures. Multi award-winning comedian and local klutz, Celia Pacquola, never thought she’d move overseas. She also never thought squirrels were real. In 2010, Celia moved to the UK, and was wrong on both counts.

Celia Pacquola performs Delayed at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.30pm (7.30pm Sundays). Tickets $28/$23 Fridays and Saturdays, $26/$23 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, $23 Tightarse Tuesdays and preview.

TITTERS !

A SHOWCASE OF AWARD WINNING FUNNY WOMEN

Since its inception in 2007 when Titters! became the surprise success of the first annual Adelaide Fringe Festival, with a sold-out season and taking out the People’s Choice Award the big question has been “When are you coming to Melbourne?”

Answer: MICF 2012!

Titters! A Showcase Of Award Winning Funny Women runs at Red Bennies from Friday March 30 until Sunday April 8 (except Sunday April 1, Monday April 2 and Tuesday April 3) at 7.30pm.

Tickets $25/$22 from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door, or $20 pre-booked from redbennies.com.

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JOHN ROBERTSON BLOOD & CHARM

After blitzing through the Edinburgh Fringe and London’s West End, Mr Robertson has completed his out- of- town preview and is now in Melbourne, where the magic happens.

John Robertson is the comedian you deserve. Frank, manic, clever, vicious and sweet – he hits MICF for the first time armed with the most cynical heartfelt show you’ll ever weep during. Surreal wordplay, theatrical anecdotage and no sentimentality – this is brutal whimsy from a human cartoon.

John Robertson performs Blood & Charm The Evatt Room, Trades Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 10pm (9pm Sunday). Tickets are $20/$15, $10 Tightarse Tuesdays and preview from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

CHRISTOPHE DAVIDSON THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE

Canadian born Christophe Davidson brings his one-hour comedic epic to Melbourne for the first time. You will like this show if you’re fond of the following things: dancing, pigeons, love and stories about all of the above.

Christophe Davidson performs The Time Of Your Life at The Tuxedo Cat from Thursday March 29 – Sunday 22 April (excluding Wednesdays) at 7.15pm (6.15pm Sundays). Tickets $15 or $10 preview shows via trybooking.com or at the door.

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MAX ATTWOOD & PAUL CULLIVER

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

Max Attwood and Paul Culliver are better at comedy than Muhammad Ali was at boxing. Or comedy. Featuring two of Melbourne’s best new comic talents in their MICF debut, this show delivers two fresh and innovative stand-up sets, in no particular order.

Max Attwood & Paul Culliver perform In No Particular Order at The Fad Gallery at 8.30pm every night from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 21 (except Sundays or Mondays).

Tickets $17/$14, $13 for groups of four or more, $10 previews and Tightarse Tuesday $10 available from trybooking.com/bchm and at the door.

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CARL-EINAR HACKNER HANDLUGGAGE

Carl-Einar Häckner returns to Melbourne with more magic and mayhem than ever before in Handluggage. See this wondrous Norse god perform underwhelming feats of magic, sing ludicrous songs and subvert your expectations in a deliciously unexpected way.

Carl-Einar Häckner performs Handluggage at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.15pm (Sundays 7.15pm). Tickets $29.50 Fridays and Saturdays; $28 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays; $26.50 groups of eight or more; $25 concession and Tightarse Tuesdays and $23 previews through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

ELEGANT HEROIN Be serenaded by the fireplace of hilarity with: stand-up, sit down, philosophy, star jumps, songs, kneeling, sketches, beat boxing, lunging and more non-sequiturs than you can poke a stick insects freak me out! Oh yeah, and one of the guys eats a light bulb. Now that’s one high-glass act!

Bosco & Jekyll perform Elegant Heroin at the Fad Gallery from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 7 (except Sunday & Monday).

All shows are at 10.30pm, with a 3pm matinee on Saturday April 7. Tickets $10-15 trybooking. com or at the door.

I WANT A HAPPY ENDING Matt Iseman unfortunately had to postpone his appearance at the 2012 Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

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THE WRONG PEOPLE

Toby Halligan has ADD and once broke into the Israeli Embassy, naked. But he is not crazy. He’s mad as hell. Nominated for Best Newcomer at the 2011 Melbourne Comedy Festival, Toby Halligan turns his attention to doctors, other ‘experts’ and the plague that is Australian politics.

The Wrong People is on at Revolt Melbourne on Friday April 13 and Friday April 20. Tickets $18/$15 for concession or groups of four or more via revoltproductions.com or at the door.

Toby Halligan performs Dr Toby Halligan Is Not A Dr at Portland Hotel from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7.15pm (or Sundays 6.15pm). Tickets $18 or $15 for concession, groups of four or more, previews and Tightarse Tuesday. Bookings through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Melbourne’s latest addition to the comedy circuit are making waves with their witty and refreshing take on group comedy.

This unholy mix of comedians and actors are hosting a special two-nights-only showcase of tales that are absurd, clever, twisted but are always funny.

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THE COMEDY GALLERY

Dale Craig and Andrew Brown have taken a look at everything life has thrown at them. From the gentle, soft stuff to the big sloppy need-a-shovel-to-get-out-of stuff.

From the young boy whose only footy injury was splinters from the bench, to the two gerberas at Chris and Marie’s waiting to be purchased only to be pushed to the back, and the appliance man who lost his dog in divorce but inherited Rinsy, the front loading washing machine that he takes for a walk instead.

The Comedy Gallery is on at La Di Da from March 28-29, April 3-4, April 11-12 and April 17-19 at 8pm.

Tickets $20 from trybooking.com and at the door.

WAGS WIVES & GIRLFRIENDS

XAVIER TOBY BINGE THINKING

People no longer read books, still invest in the stock market and live on junk food. Evolution is going backwards. We’re getting dumber. Why? Sold out Melbourne Fringe 2011 and directed by Adam Richard, this will be awesome.

Xavier Toby performs Binge Thinking at The Irish Times from Thursday April 5 – Saturday April 21 (except Wednesdays) at 9.30pm. Tickets $18/$15 for concession and groups of six ore more; $8 for Tightarse Tuesdays y through g trybooking.com and at the door. r.

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IN THE MIDDLE OF NO ONE

MATT ISEMAN

DR TOBY HALLIGAN IS NOT A DR

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THE PAJAMA MEN

Look out for him later in the year!

TOBY HALLIGAN

BOSCO & JEKYLL

Following sell-out runs in Edinburgh, Dublin and London’s West End, a strictly limited return season of the 2011 smash hit show. Six shows only. A fastpaced comedy thriller about love, alien abduction, the pressure cooker of solitude and the spirit of adventure.

Presented in The Pajama Men’s trademark style of blink-of-an-eye character switches and plot twists, underscored with unflinching joke telling, In the Middle of No One is a bizarre flight of fancy-pants.

The Pajama Men perform In The Middle Of No One at Princess Theatre from Tuesday April 17 – Saturday April 21 at 7.30pm. Tickets $25-$38.50.

SIMON MUNNERY HATS OFF TO THE 101ERS AND OTHER MATERIAL

The iconoclast of intellectual bilge and misguided waffling, Simon Munnery presents a brand new ‘trendo-nerdfest’ of a show. It’s an extravagant mess of foaming bubble hats, superlative jokes, bad guitar riffs, delightful monologues, hand-made engineering feats and an overly ambitious one-man punk musical about the R101 airship of the ‘30s.

Simon Munnery performs Hats Off To The 101ers, And Other Material at Melbourne Town Hall from Tuesday April 10 – Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 9.45pm (8.45pm Sundays). Tickets $31.50 Fridays and Saturdays; $29.50 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays; $28.50 groups of eight or more and $25.50 concession and preview shows as well as Tightarse Tuesdays through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 or at the door.

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

WAGS - Wives & Girlfriends is a riotous four-hander comedy that played to sell-out crowds at the 2011 Adelaide Fringe. It follows the blue carpet battle for the 2012 Downlow Medal at Melbourne’s Clown Casino. See Milly, Cheryl, Bunty and Reggie strut their stuff and play every position on footy’s night of Fevola fights.

WAGS - Wives & Girlfriends is on at Lithuanian House Ballroom from Thursday April 5 – Saturday April 14 (except Mondays) at 8pm. Tickets $25/$22 for concession and groups of six or more, $15 previews and Tightarse Tuesdays through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 or at the venue.

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TRISTAN SAVAGE AUSTRALIAN GHOST

Tristan Savage, national winner of the Deadly Funny open mic competition at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2011, presents this unique, disturbing and not to mention hilarious take on race relations in Australia.

Tristan Savage performs Australian Ghost at the 1000 Pound Bend’s Cinema Room from Tuesday April 10 to Sunday April 22 (except April 15 and 16).

The show starts at 7.15pm every night. Tickets are $20/$17 and $15 for previews (the first two nights) and Tuesdays. Tickets are available at the door but advance bookings can be made online from trybooking.com

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NICK COYLE ME PREGNANT!

Hey Melbourne! There’s a monster in the forest! And by forest I mean Comedy Festival and by monster I mean person! After sold-out seasons in Sydney, Melbourne Fringe, and The Brisbane Comedy Festival, Nick Coyle (one third of comedy troupe Pig Island) presents his first solo show – Me Pregnant! – the story of Emeline and the monster trying to murder her. A medieval-revenge-comedy. Finally.

Nick Coyle performs Me Pregnant! at The Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 – Sunday April 22 (not Mondays) at 6pm (Sundays 5pm). Tickets are $20/$17 for concession and groups of four more; $15 previews and Tightarse Tuesdays available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660013 and at the door.

PETUNIA MCLAREN A PRIVATE WORD WITH PETUNIA MCLAREN

The most fearsome talents so often come in the sweetest of packages. So it is in the case of Petunia McLaren. Boasting a long, many-faceted career and a longer list of former lovers, Petunia takes us on an eye-opening, thigh-trembling journey up her personal garden path in this candid account of love, life, loss and lace.

Petunia McLaren performs A Private Word With Petunia McLaren at Hares & Hyenas from Tuesday April 10 – Saturday April 21 (except Mondays) at 7.30pm (6.30pm Sundays). Tickets $20/$15 concession, previews and Tightarse Tuesdays; groups of five or more $12 through trybooking.com

THE UNDERLADS LIVING ON LIMBO LANE

Can you catch an STI after having sex with a ghost?...The Underlads certainly hope not. Following last year’s stellar Melbourne International Comedy Festival debut, these Golden Gibbo nominees are back wielding their unique brand of collage comedy in a new show, as they attempt to escape the paranormal-ness of their house on Limbo Lane.

The Underlads perform Living On Limbo Lane at 1000 Pound Bend from Thursday April 5 – Saturday April 21 (except Sundays and Mondays) at 8.30pm. Tickets $20/$12 for concession, groups of three or more, previews and Tightarse Tuesdays through the venue 9012 3460, trybooking.com and at the door.

BRAD HEARNE DAVE GORMAN DANIEL BURT DEAF DEFYING POWERPOINT PRESENTATION INSPIRED BY MEDIOCRITY

Life is different for the deaf. Everyday we wake up to face a world far different from the one you experience. The way we interpret the world and understand it, the way we communicate in it, the relationships we form in it all have the potential to lead to one inescapable fact... that we will most likely totally fall on our ass. This is the show where we tell you that if you are going to take on the world without being able to hear a damn thing it helps to have your wits about you.

Brad Hearne performs Deaf Defying at St Ali Café from Tuesday April 10 until Saturday April 21 (except Mondays and Sundays) at 6.30pm. Tickets $16/$12 from stali.com.au or at the door.

Almost a decade since Britain’s Dave Gorman commenced his remarkable Googlewhack Adventure at Melbourne International Comedy Festival, this genre-stretching comedian is back and for this brand new show he’s formed a double act... with a projector screen.

Dave Gorman performs Powerpoint Presentation at The Forum from Tuesday April 10 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7pm (Sundays 6pm).

Tickets $35.50/$29.50; groups eight or more $34; $29.50 Tightarse Tuesdays and $27.50 previews through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

Daniel is a recovering perfectionist. He believes that if you can’t do it well, then it’s not worth doing. Which often means it doesn’t get done. A look at mediocrity, perfection and the mediocrity of perfection.

Daniel Burt performs Inspired By Mediocrity at 1000 Pound Bend from Tuesday April 3 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.30pm.

Tickets $22/$18 for concession, groups of six or more, Tightarse Tuesdays and previews through Ticketmaster, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

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SARAH D

ANGUS BROWN

I CAN DRINK PUDDLES

After 20 years of binge drinking Sarah D is asking – why is she such a pisshead and is she ever going to stop? Why do Aussies need to drink so much, so often? Feel better about your own drinking habits and their consequences as Sarah blends dance with rapping and character driven storytelling to tell us how she can, and does, drink puddles.

Sarah D performs I Can Drink Puddles at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 until Saturday April 21 (Thursdays through til Sundays) at 11pm (Sundays 10pm). Tickets $18/$16 for concession, groups of four or more; $15 preview via Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

WHAT MY MUM TAUGHT ME

DIRTY MIMES

Comedy performers who worked from dusty London clubs to Broadway theatres, Las Vegas showrooms to the tents of Cirque Du Soleil. Dirty Mimes was scratched up from Vegas variety material and developed into this 60 minute piece. It is fast, funny and a little bit smutty. Don’t be too comfortable in your seats.

Dirty Mimes is on at Revolt Melbourne from Tuesday April 10 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 7.30pm (Sundays 6.30pm). Tickets $22.50/$18.50; Tightarse Tuesday $15.50 through the venue 937 9376 21155 and at the door.

How to: ride a bike, drive a car, say f%!k, what a c$@t was, the important difference between rake and rape, medicate a cat, get tattooed, steal ten pot glasses from a pub, make a marijuana dip. My mum taught me a lot of things.

Angus Brown performs What My Mum Taught Me at Felix Bar from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays) at 9pm (Mondays), 8pm (Tuesdays and Thursdays) and 7pm (Sundays).

Tickets $15/$13 concession and groups of four more; $11 Tightarse Tuesdays and $10 previews through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013, at the venue 0410 329 129 and at the door.

JMAC PROACTIVELY AWKWARD

Accidently dropping your toothbrush in the toilet brush holder, it lands the safe way up. No-one is around, so you use it anyway.

We’ve all been there. Let’s discuss all moments ‘awkward’, watch a few on screen and sing some songs. There is humour in private awkward moments and public awkward moments, and there are some awkward moments you’d rather just forget.

JMAC performs Proactively Awkward at The Owl & The Pussycat from Thursday April 5 – Saturday April 21 (except Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays). Tickets $20 from trybooking.com or at the door.

ST ALI’S LATE NIGHT PERCOLATOR

St Ali presents a varied program of free late night parties, events and eclectic shows from around the world. Late nights include: Trivia with Alan Lovett, Puppets, Karaoke, Burlesque, Free Comedy and DJs. Check their website for nightly lineups.

St Ali’s Late Night Percolator is on at St Ali from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 21 (except Mondays and Sundays) at 10.30pm. See the website for ticket prices. Tickets through stali.com.au and at the door.

WIN

TICK ETS T SHO O THIS BEAT W AT .COM .AU

100 % NUTS A MIXED ASSORTMENT An Irish Catholic amputee, an obese Ashkenazi Jew with bipolar disorder, a professional clown and clinical hypnotherapist, a former ward of the state and adoptee, a Japanese restaurateur and frustrated wife, a social worker from Casino, a dog groomer, a porn store clerk and mild mannered pervert, an idiosyncratic portrait artist from New Zealand, a former police officer and theatre actor, a clever copywriter, a frustrated shopaholic and computer geek... and several others, are 100% Nuts!

100% Nuts can be seen at Bridie O’Reilly’s on Thursday March 29, Thursday April 5, 12 & 19, and Noise Bar on Saturday March 31, Sunday April 1, Saturday April 14, Sunday April 15, Saturday April 21 and Sunday April 22. Thursday shows begin at 7.30pm, Saturdays 3pm, and Sundays 2pm. Tickets are available at trybooking.com.

WIN

DIXIE LONGATE

DIXIE’S TUPPERWARE PARTY

Direct from Off-Broadway and her US tour, America’s Southernfried answer to Dame Edna – Dixie Longate – packed her catalogues, left her children in an Alabama trailer park… and took Off-Broadway and Edinburgh by storm. Now the irrepressible, fast-talkin’ Tupperware queen is heading to Melbourne where she’ll be throwing her legendary parties across the course of the Comedy Festival.

Dixie Longate performs Dixie’s Tupperware Party at The Famous Spiegeltent from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 8.30pm (Sunday 7.30pm). Tickets $35/$25.50 Fridays and Saturdays; $30 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Sundays; $28 for groups of eight more; $25.50 Tightarse Tuesdays and $25 previews through Ticketmaster, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

TICK ETS T SHO O THIS BEAT W AT .COM .AU

BYRON BERTRAM GUILT RIDDEN SOCIOPATH

Canadian comedy dynamo Byron Bertram does what all Canadians do best – take the piss out of themselves. This guilt-ridden sociopath hasn’t done anything wrong, but he still feels bad about it.

Byron Bertram performs Guilt Ridden Sociopath at Blue Diamond from Wednesday March 28 until Saturday April 21 (except Mondays and the Wednesdays after previews) at 7.15pm (6.15pm Sundays). Tickets $20/$15 concession, groups of three or more, previews and Tightarse Tuesdays through Ticketmaster online, 1300 660 013 or at the door.

ONE POLITICALLY INCORRECT EVENING

It’s dark, it’s raucous, and it’s brilliantly edgy! Join comedy legends Steady Eddy, Chris Franklin and Chris Wainhouse for One Politically Incorrect Evening (there’s 12 actually, that’s just the name of the show!) where they unleash their dark sides with some seriously edgy and brilliantly raucous material. Each week they rotate their special guests, including Rhys Nicholson, Bev Killick, Ronny Chieng and Granny Flap.

One Politically Incorrect Evening is on at The Evelyn Hotel from Thursday March 29 until Sunday April 15 (no shows Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesday April 11) at 6.30pm. Tickets $30/$25 Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays; $25 Thursdays through Ticketmaster, 1300 660 013 and at the door.

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

ZOE COOMBS MARR GONE OFF

“Like a firecracker, like a frog in a sock, on a rant, into the wilderness...In a moment of bravado, I sold all my stuff, got a Pajero, and hit the road. Soon I was lost and drunk in the desert and sleeping with a steak knife in my hand. I also killed a lot of birds.” This is a true story of travel, told with no tricks.

Zoe is 1/3 of post.

Zoe Coombs Marr performs Gone Off at Melbourne Town Hall from Thursday March 29 – Sunday April 22 (except Mondays) at 6pm (5pm Sundays).

Tickets $17/$15 concession and Tightarse Tuesday; $10 preview available from Ticketmaster online, 1300 660013 and at the door.

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@ @MoreComedy

JOEL ASEY CREASEY DIRECTED BY JOEL CREASEY

29thh March -22nnd April -22nd (every night)

“THE NATION’S FINEST STANDUP” THE AGE

“UTTERLY BRILLIANT!” B - 3AW “WONDERFUL!” - THE WEST W AUSTRALIAN REVELLATION” - THE AGE “A REVELATION”

MELBOURNE TOWN HALL

“THIS IS A MUST SEE SHOW” SCOTSGAY “DISGRACEFULLY FUNNY SHOW!” CHORTLE UK

ttwitter.com/fionaoloughlin_

29 MAR – 3 APRIL 9.45PM FORUM THEATRE (SUNDAY 8.45PM) 9 – 16 APRIL 9.45PM THE HI-FI (SUNDAY 8.45PM) ALL MONDAYS 8.15PM MELBOURNE TOWN HALL

jeFF GReeN Father of Men

twitter.com/jeffgreen007

‘CHEEKIER AND FRANKER THAN A BARREL FULL OF MONKEYS’GLASGOW HERALD “ONE OF THE GREATS” HERALD SUN

Swiss House 29 March – 22 April Tue – Sun 8.15pm (Sun 7.15pm)

Mondays – 8.15pm Supper Room (MelbOURNE Town Hall)

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‘HANDS DOWN HILARIOUS’ SYDNEY MORNING HERALD LD

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★★★★★ ★ ★★★★ TTHE HE S SCOTSMAN COTS CO TSMAN MAN AN

“Hee su “H ssucceeds ccceeeds iin n dragging drag dr aggi ag ging gi ng n g uuss to o off eextremes ex trem tr emes em ess o laughter, laug la ught hter er,, er embarrassment emba em baarr rras asssm smen en nt and pity, an nd pi ityy, bu butt mostly m mo stly st l laughter” ly lau augh ghte gh ter” te r r” TTHE H E IINDEPENDENT, NDE D PEN P DEN D T, LLONDON LO LON DON

MELBOURNE M ELBOURNE TOWN TOWN H HALL ALL 2 29 9 MARCH MARCH - 2 22 2A APRIL PRIL TUESDAYS TU UES SDA AYS S TO TO SUNDAYS SUN UNDA DAY YS S 9.30PM 9..3 30 0P PM ((SUNDAYS SUN UNDA DAY DAYS YS S 8.30PM) 8.3 .30 0P PM)

Join MIKEY ROBINS & GREG FLEET in

MIKEY & FLEETY’S MONDAY MANIA See comedy legends Mikey & Fleety as they cut loose from the confines of TV! Joined by Australia’s hottest young comics each night, this show is a unique stand-out at this year’s Festival.

3 SHOWS

ONLY!

MONDAYS ONLY - 9PM MELBOURNE TOWN HALL

FULL INFO AND TICKETS AVAILABLE AT www.comedyfestival.com.au 68

BEAT’S COMEDY FESTIVAL GUIDE 2012 BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD MOUT CIDER

EXCLUDES EX E XCLUDE LUD S LUD MONDAYS M ONDA NDA AYS YS