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Enjoy clean and hilarious standup comedy and music for all ages from standup comedian Chris Quimby.

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2 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 1 - MARCH 2013


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*Did you know the reason honey is so easy to digest is that it has already been digested by bees? *The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones. *Roosters are not able to crow if they cannot extend their necks. EEK!

by SCOTT NICKEL

Chris & Heather Quimby chris@nachotree.com | heather@nachotree.com www.funnies-extra-maine.com 91 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks, Maine 04921 (Chris) 207.557.3251 (Heather) 207.557.3261 Office Hours: Monday - Friday, 9-5 Eastern Time Deadlines: Thurs during prior week of Wed circulation

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IMAGINE THAT

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© 2011 Tom Williams / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC - North America only

ANSWERS AT: www.funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php

Answers from last issue’s Sudoku

General, Implant and Sedation Denistry | 14 Maine Street , Brunswick | 207-729-1159

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*Did you know that every time you sneeze, some of your brain cells die? *The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney. *There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

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FAIR HAVEN CAMPS 81 W. Fair Haven Lane, Brooks, ME 04921 register@fairhavencamps.org (207)722-3456

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Men ages 18+ are invited to join us for a weekend of food, competitions, and fellowship. We encourage fathers to bring their sons aged 13+.

Friday, May 3 at 6:00pm through Saturday, May 4 at 5:00pm MUSIC PERFORMED BY: City on a Hill Guest Speaker: Author, Speaker, & Professor, Buddy Davis from Answers in Genesis.

Š2011 Mia Vonne / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

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by JIM & PAT McGREAL

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PICKLES

by BRIAN CRANE

n Raisers projects, events, and community meal dates, unitybarnraisers.org

VOL 2 ED 1 - MARCH 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 9

F B T the B ance On th acros on fi No c by d Now their O fishin Swee need of th The along Ame my l shop hand In shoo Myst youn Coun one o real t batch offen Holy Hill Hove It caus don’ we’r then down air c abou toilet I hav


A Message from the Publisher Guy Chris Quimby is a husband, father, and publisher of Funnies Extra in Maine. A graphic designer and standup comedian, Chris has over ten years experience in the print industry. Chris and his wife, Heather, are excited to offer Funnies Extra to Maine, offering a fun and attractive departure from the norm. Chris can be reached at chris@chrisQuimby.com or facebook.com/ChrisQuimby

Springing into Sweepy Streets by Chris Quimby At some point soon, likely this month, I will experience a relatively unheralded yearly occasion that causes me great joy. The street sweepers will be released into my community, signaling the beginning of the warmer season by removing the crud from the roads and sending a message for snow storms to chill out for a bit. I could be wrong about the timing, though. This event might actually take place in May. One thing, however, that I’m sure of, is it happens in a month that begins with an M and an A. In order to encourage springy thinking, let’s assume it’s this month. The lack of a need for verifiable facts is one of the beauties of writing humor columns instead of medical journals. Part of what’s wonderful about cold weather in Maine is that it eventually ceases. Therefore, it helps us appreciate heat that, by the end of summer, we will likely tire of. My grandfather used to state that he had a friend who would hit himself repeatedly on the head with a hammer because he enjoyed the way it felt when he stopped. Therein, we find an allegory for the singular benefit of winter weather. As we await the annual dirt-ridding joy parade of street sweepers this month (or in May), let’s take a moment to discuss some of the reasons to appreciate the advent of spring.

1. Excremental Decomposition After a few months of our pets doing their business atop inches of hardened piles of nature’s dandruff, each of the frozen products of disgustingness can begin thawing out and becoming part of the healthy growth of our lawns, providing green blankets of beauty on our yard that we will appreciate until we have to mow them. 2. Grill Wiff One of the pleasures of traveling through neighborhoods in the spring is smelling people cooking meat on their grills. I should note that it is the meat that I enjoy smelling, not the people. That is not to say the people do not smell good, but they rarely smell like meat, even though that is mostly what they’re made of. Something to think about. 3. Commercial People Use Technology Outdoors When the sun is bright in the sky, apparently people on television commercials bring their laptops, tablets and smartphones outside to enjoy. Whenever I have tried this, I have not been able to discern anything on the screen because of the competing light. Perhaps it is time for me to get a gig in a television commercial. 4. Coat Burning Honestly, I have never burned my coat, but it would be a nice statement to make. The process sounds wasteful, and perhaps not cost-conscious, since I might have money in the pockets. That’s not to say that I’m so rich that

I’m always finding money in many places. Once in awhile, though, I find a dollar bill in there. In fact, my wife purposely places a five dollar bill in the pocket of her winter coat every year, so she’ll enjoy a simple thrill at the beginning of the next winter. (If you were married to me, you, too, would also be eagerly looking for simple thrills to get you through your days.) I do not like wearing winter coats. In fact, I rarely do. Most often, I will just bring one with me in the car in case I am involved in an emergency, like if someone stops my car, points a gun at my head and demands a winter coat. In that scenario, I will be prepared. 5. Outdoor Cycling I love to cycle during the warm months. Cycling is a good way to tick off drivers who sometimes are not willing to give up three feet of road so I might not die. But that’s not the only reason I cycle. I also enjoy engaging in informal cultural investigations by observing what types of litter is cast to the ditches by our fine public citizens. I once suggested to my children that you can learn something about the habits of those that litter. Most of the refuse are liquor bottles and fast food packages. You rarely find discarded boxes of Cream of Wheat or B12 vitamins. Interesting timing for the discussion, too, because the next day when out riding my bike I passed a crown of broccoli on the road’s shoulder, probably dropped out the car window mistakenly by a group of delinquent, yet health-conscious, teenagers on a

late-night vegetable bender. 6. Captain Obvious Facebook Posts Sometimes, while engaged in daily life, I wonder how the general public feels about such things as the local weather. Thankfully, on really hot days, I can enjoy the benefits of the mental stimulation I receive from Facebook posts such as, “My goodness! It’s so hot!”, and, “I’m very hot!” These posts help greatly when I am trying to determine the physical comfort level and sweatiness of friends and acquaintances. 7. Egg Increase Our chickens seem to lay more eggs in the warmer months. Perhaps they are so disgusted with us during the winter for not letting them hang out in the house that they vindictively withhold the higher yields of breakfast they normally produce. Although normally quite stupid, I wouldn’t put it past our chickens to do something as hateful as that. I am not without a contingency plan, though, as I am perfectly willing to increase my consumption of generic Lucky Charms during the winter. I might not have my omelette, but my breakfast can still be generically delicious. Whatever your reasons, I hope you enjoy the beginning of spring, unless your reasons are evil or creepy. In that event, please do something this March to make yourself less abnormal. But not so much that you stop reading Funnies Extra.

What do you think of Funnies Extra? Please email us with praise, criticisms and suggestions. Entries that include name, age and town of residence may be published in a future edition.

feedback@nachotree.com 10 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 1 - MARCH 2013


Š 2Copyright B&L Capital / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Professional Repair iPhone | iPod | iPad

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by DANIEL BORIS Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

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VOL 2 ED 1 - MARCH 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 11


CRIME-QUIZ

by WERNER WEJP-OLSEN

THIN LINES

by Randy Glasbergen © 2011 Jason Dodge / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

© 2011 Werner Wejp-Olsen / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

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No problem! Contact Funnies Extra Headquarters for information on starting your own lucrative Funnies Extra! publishing business. Hurry! Limited licensing opportunities available in select territories across the U.S. and Canada.. For details, go to: www.funnies-extra.com

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207.722.3023


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LAST MONTH’S ANSWERS

Consider a supplemental heater for that cold room!

thompsonsoil.com 207.342.4040 1376 Waterville Road, Waldo, Maine

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©2012 Josh Alves

www.facebk.com/tasteslikechickencomic

Tastes LikeBYChicken JOSH ALVES

© 2011 Sheila Anderson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Where potholes come from.

For answers, visit funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php

VOL 2 ED 1 - MARCH 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 13


Funnies Extra! will feature at least four straight issues of comic strips and panels from aspiring, non-syndicated cartoonists. Comic strips or cartoon panels may be published from cartoonists of any age, with a short bio. For submission guidelines and information, go to: www.funnies-extra.com/submissions. Send each furnished strip as a PDF file along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 5 to 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Spotlight” in the subject line. Good luck and have fun! (participation void where prohibited) HOLLYWEIRD

Right of Way ServiceS LLC Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Quimby Appraisal

by MARK SIMON

Ray Quimby

Certified General Appraiser Certified Maine Assessor

21 Quimby Road Brooks, ME 04921 rowray@fairpoint.net 207.722.3247 (phone, fax) 207.557.3201 (cell)

MARK SIMON Producer/Director/Cartoonist Mark Simon is 25-year film & TV veteran amassing over 3,000 production credits including animation producer on Larry the Cable Guy’s latest movie, Tooth Fairy 2. His storyboard and animation companies, www.Storyboards-East.com, have included clients such as Disney, Universal, Viacom, Sony, HBO, Nickelodeon, FOX, Steven Spielberg, USA Networks, ABC Television and many others. His experience selling original TV series lead to his founding www. SellYourTvConceptNow.com to mentor other creators. He is also the author of ten popular industry texts, and lectures around the world at major conferences, entertainment trade schools and universities.

POCKET LINT

by CHUCK DOWNS

CHUCK DOWNS Cartoonist Haikus amuse me But sometimes can confuse me Refrigerator I always find random things in my pockets at the end of the day: paper clips, gum wrappers, dry cleaning receipts and the ever-present lint. These drawings are what’s left in my head when the day is done: the random “pocket lint” of my brain.

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14 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 1 - MARCH 2013

Chuck Downs is a carbon-based form of cartoonist who lives in Florida with his wife and two children. By day, he is vice president of marketing for a company that clearly does not conduct very thorough background checks. By night, he fights crime. Now that he is older, his experience only walks the gamut for fear of pulling a hamstring. He often “misuses” quotation marks, and likes to frequently split his infinitives.


The Weekly Crossword 1

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ACROSS 1 Get hung-up on 64 Pub purchase 27 Hem and haw 7 Paid player 65 Polished off 28 Copycat's 10 Toy gun ammo 66 Crazes request 14 Multicolored 67 Whirling current 29 "The ___ of 15 Flavor Flav's 68 Silent go-ahead March" (2011 69 Insect's antenna genre film) 16 Touch up against 31 Black stone 17 Collectible metal DOWN 33 Allot, with "out" 1 Warning sign 34 Springtime prank dishes 19 Epidermal 2 Treat for Fido victim 3 Monthly bank 35 Busy bee opening 20 After-tax amount 36 If all ___ fails... mailing 21 Ballot caster 4 Nightmare street 39 Vegas hotel 22 Mental inspiration 5 Observe with gondolas 23 Off-course 6 Wooded 43 In large quantity 26 Regard highly 7 Foolish chatter 44 Thought to be 28 Monkey-like 8 Steak order 46 Dazzle 30 State-sponsored 9 "The Merry 48 Leave in a hurry 49 Marksman's aid drawing Widow", e.g. 32 Skillful 10 Senate setting 50 Lifeless 33 Intelligence test 11 Dwelling 51 Make 12 Blender button finding corrections to 37 1992 movie, "A 13 Locomotive 53 Feel sick 56 Mad about Few Good ___" power 38 Roman greeting 18 Took first place 58 Tackle box item 40 Thanksgiving 24 Tombstone 59 Cold War initials 62 Feel sorry about veggie letters 41 Capitol Hill fig. 25 Machine gun 63 Anger 42 Inheritance sound reducer Answer to Crossword Answers to Last lastWeek's monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s crossword 45 Former fillies S T U B G I R L G H O S T 47 Discussion L E G O A R E A A O R T A group A L L O T M E N T L O G I C 48 Do electrical T E L L T A L E B L Y T H E work L E S S S E A N E T W O R E T A S T I N G 49 Sleek and lithe A G O G E R A T R A P S 52 Old-time S L U G R I V E R O L I O funnyman Stan O W E U S E R P E T E R 54 Showed up R E T I R E D N O S E 55 Marketing tactic R U T D O N R O O D 57 Winter ailment E P H E M E R A L A P T O P 60 Ready for A B I D E U N D E R L I N E business C O N G A S T U N A N T E 61 Shameful T W E E T H I N T N E O N

also...

Free Personal Checking Accounts No minimum balance or monthly fees. Available with VISA debit card- just like writing a check, but accepted anywhere you see VISA.

www.kswfcu.org 135 WALDO AVENUE, BELFAST, ME 04915 | (207)338-5160 FAX: (207)338-6129 222 COLLEGE AVENUE, WATERVILLE, ME 04901 | (207)872-5602 FAX: (207)872-5776

SPECTICKLES

by BILL ABBOTT THE DEEP END

by TYSON COLE

Š 2011 Bill Abbott / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

VOL 2 ED 1 - MARCH 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 15


SPEED BUMP

by DAVE COVERLY

CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUCK

through the teen We empower boys and girls from grade school that centers on years and from various backgrounds with the truth works with all the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our summer camp staff of life in cabin s issue campers on their level in discussing important kers encourage devotional times and our high quality guest spea ons happening and motivate our young people during chapel sessi e and beyond that daily. We challenge the young people from Main tually, socially, spiri enter our doors as summer campers to become nsible leaders, mentally, and physically healthy and to become respo hy relationships. with creative thinking, self-motivation, and healt

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by RICHARD CROSS and BILL ABBOTT

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|

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Funnies Extra Midcoast Maine March 2013  

Funnies Extra is a free, full color 16-page tabloid filled with funnies and puzzles. Thousands of copies of Funnies Extra! are read monthly...

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