Page 1

FREE

MIDCOAST EDITION

FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013

Professional Repair iPhone | iPod | iPad

Repair/Troubleshooting Virus/Spyware Removal Software Installation Hardware Installation Wireless/Wired Networking Training/Tutoring System Upgrades/Updates Data Backup Data Recovery Remote Support

More experience. Less expensive.

cdcomputerroom.com

207.217.2534

| chris@cdcomputerroom.com

Midcoast Maine’s Monthly Funnies Newspaper! Your Local Source for Comics, Puzzles, Word Games, and Humor Columns! To Advertise, email heather@nachotree.com or call 557-3261

FREE!


BIZ

by DAVE BLAZEK OFF THE MARK

by MARK PARISI

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

CAPTION CONTEST

2013

Congratulations to last issue’s winner, Nancy Matthews, 66, of Camden, who submitted the following caption to last issue’s contest: “What’s he scared of? We just needed a door for our cave!” Send your best caption to this week’s contest to: chris@nachotree.com and type “Caption Contest” in the subject line. The winning captions will be published in the next issue with the winner’s name, age and city with permission. Void where prohibited.

Spring is a great time to get out and support our local businesses, run by our neighbors and friends.

Shop & Dine Local They depend on us for our business and we depend on them. They are the backbone of a vital, sustainable local economy.

Shop Thoughtfully. Shop Locally. 2 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013


BC

by MASTROIANNI AND HART

Country Styles FAMILY HAIR CARE 161 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks

207.722.3551

TUNDRA

by CHAD CARPENTER

FACT OR FICTION?

*Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason. *Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured ice water over his head. *Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning “containing arsenic.” EEK!

by SCOTT NICKEL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

print & digital design Chris & Heather Quimby chris@nachotree.com | heather@nachotree.com www.funnies-extra-maine.com 91 Lang Hill Highway, Brooks, Maine 04921 (Chris) 207.557.3251 (Heather) 207.557.3261 Office Hours: Monday - Friday, 9-5 Eastern Time Deadlines: Thurs during prior week of Wed circulation

FUNNIES EXTRA!, LLC 6822 22nd Avenue North, #134, St. Petersburg, FL 33710 www.funnies-extra.com ~ info@funnies-extra.com Kim Kellogg - Editor editor@funnies-extra.com

MOTHER GOOSE & GRIMM

by MIKE PETERS

Bill Kellogg - Marketing Director bill@funnies-extra.com ~ 907–441-6882 Richard Cross - Publisher publisher@funnies-extra.com ~ 727-343-1243

The views and opinions expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publisher, advertisers or employees of NachoTree Print & Digital Design. NachoTree Print & Digital Design is not responsible for any advertising errors beyond the first printing of any Display Ad. Additional contributor information can be found on the website URL’s above. Contents of this publication may not be reproduced or copied without permission from Funnies Extra, LLC. © 2012 Funnies Extra!, LLC. All rights reserved.

VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 3


by TIM THOMSON

HARA KIWI

by LECTRR

© 2011 Lectrr / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

by BRIAN MARTIN STRANGER THINGS

© 2011 Tim Thomson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

IMAGINE THAT

© 2011 Brian Martin / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Answers can be found online at

© 2011 Tom Williams / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC - North America only

ANSWERS AT: www.funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php

Answers to last month’s puzzle

ENJOY THE SUMMER WITH A HIGH EFFICIENCY AIR CONDITIONING SYSTEM Call MERRY’S REFRIGERATION AND AIR CONDITIONING today!

(207)323-0691

SAVE HEATING $ WITH A HEAT PUMP/AC

4 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013


by TOM GAMMILL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

THE DOOZIES

FRANK AND STEINWAY

by WIL PANGANIBAN © 2011 Wil Panganiban / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

FACT OR FICTION?

*Babe Ruth wore a cabbage leaf under his cap to keep him cool. He changed it every 2 innings. *Almonds are a member of the peach family. * All porcupines float in water. by DANIEL COLLINS

PLANNING A WEDDING, PARTY, REUNION OR CORPORATE EVENT? Now Booking for 2013

The sky's the limit and we will help you make some History, at Fort Knox and the Observatory.

© 2011 Daniel Collins / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

© 2011 Ron Therein / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

AGAINST THE GRAIN

by RON THERIEN PHONE 207-469-6553, EMAIL FOFK1@AOL.COM WEB SITE: FORTKNOX.MAINEGUIDE.COM

218 Congress St., Belfast, Maine 04915 | www.prayshomes.com

FUNNY PAPER

VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 5


WORD FIND BY MIA VONNE

Funny Comics

Visit funnies-extra-maine.com Click the ‘Read Online’ link. ©2011 Mia Vonne / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

FUNNIES EXTRA IS PRINTED IN MAINE, KEEPING MONEY IN THE STATE CRANKY GIRL

by CRYSTAL JONES Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

SQUID ROW

143 High Street, Belfast, ME 04915

by BRIDGETT SPICER Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

JUDY BROSSMER

judybrossmer@tcreal.com 207.338.3500 x121 (office) ( ffi ) 207.322.3392 (mobile) ( b 207.338.0192 (fax) 800.860.0528 (toll free)

6 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013


Garden DINGERS

FUTURE SHOCK

by JIM & PAT McGREAL Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Celebrating the people who grow stuff and the stuff they grow.

by CAMPBELL & SCHOTSCH

© 2011 Campbell & Schotsch / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Join Funnies Extra Maine on Facebook and Twitter!

FACEBOOK: /NachoTree TWITTER: /NachoTreeDesign THAT MONKEY TUNE

by MICHAEL KANDALAFT

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

photo by Georges Nashan

With Dental Implant technology, you can eat with confidence and comfort again.

Discover why we received awards in 6 categories in Bangor Metro Magazine

t t t  t 

'SFFDPOTVMUBUJPO 'JOBODJOHBWBJMBCMF "MMQIBTFTPGUSFBUNFOU JODMVEJOHTFEBUJPO 4UBUFPGUIFBSU%$"5TDBOT FOTVSFTBGFUZBOEQSFEJDUBCJMJUZ “Visit our website for outstanding patient testimonials!”

12 Purple Heart Highway, Brooks

722-3236 Wed-Sat, 7am-2pm; Fri & Sat, 4pm-8pm; Sun, 8am-2pm

James A. Oshetski, DDS, DICOI | General, Implant and Sedation Dentistry 14 Maine Street, Brunswick | 207-729-1159

VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 7


WIZARD OF ID

by PARKER & MASTROIANNI & HART

Affordable

HOLY MOLÉ

by RICK HOTTON Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Funnies Ex tabloid fille have two e Knox Cou Bangor/ Br of Funnies hotels, dine repair shop dental prac Extra! appe advantage o citizens in y the messag excellent rep up-front pay

Advertisi

Ask us ab fantastic Hang out

DOGS OF C-KENNEL

by MICK & MASON MASTROIANNI

HALF BAKED

Thousands Exclusively Competitiv Free, profes Free to read Placed in th Attractive, Ad visibilit Regional (W Bangor/B Small-town Excellent d Complimen clickable

by RICK ELLIS Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

NachoTree Print and Funnies Extr

Heather Quimby | Sales 207.557.3261 | heather@

8 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013


THE OTHER COAST

by ADRIAN RAESIDE

e. Effective.

RALF THE DESTROYER

by SCOTT LINCOLN Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

xtra! is a free, full-color 16-page ed with funnies and puzzles. We editions, one serving Waldo and unties and one in the Greater rewer region. Thousands of copies Extra! are distributed monthly to ers, coffee shops, restaurants, auto ps, hospitals, physicians’ offices, ctices, etc. The content in Funnies eals to consumers of all ages. Take of this unique and fun way to reach your communities and beyond with ge of your business and enjoy peat discounts and great savings for yment!

ing rates for most spots

bout our rates for premium positions. t for a year and save 25%!!!

s of copies consumed monthly y full-color advertising ve rates ssional ad design ders he marketplace among consumers unique and fun to read ty (among content) Waldo & Knox Counties or Brewer area) n, personal service discounts ntary online upload with e links

SUNSHINE STATE

by GRAHAM NOLAN Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

PICKLES

by BRIAN CRANE

& Digital Design ra

s Manager @nachotree.com

VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 9


A Message from the Publisher Guy Chris Quimby is a husband, father, and publisher of Funnies Extra in Maine. A graphic designer and standup comedian, Chris has over ten years experience in the print industry. Chris and his wife, Heather, are excited to offer Funnies Extra to Maine, offering a fun and attractive departure from the norm. Chris can be reached at chris@chrisQuimby.com or facebook.com/ChrisQuimby

Am I A Moron? by Chris Quimby

(This column was originally written in 2006.) Sometimes I feel like a moron, but people tell me I’m fine. Sometimes I feel fine, but people tell me I’m a moron. I’m not sure whose opinion I should trust. I’ve decided to spend the rest of my life researching this important topic. I began collecting data this morning and the early score is: MORON: 1 NOT MORON: 0 I know I shouldn’t be too alarmed. This contest has just begun, but you should know that I am quite concerned that, if the season ended today, I would be scientifically classified as a moron, putting to rest any chance of not being a moron, which is what I would prefer. Perhaps I should explain how moron jumped to an early lead: I was in my bedroom doing

pushups when the mother of one of my daughter’s friends arrived to drop off her daughter. I came out to get a drink of water while she spoke to my wife in the living room. Now, just to clarify, architects often refer to the living room as the great room, but I think that’s moronic. I don’t think they should be able to make value judgments about various rooms. In fact, my living room is not that great at all. If I were going to call anything a “great room” it would be my bedroom. Truthfully, my bedroom is nothing to write home about, but my bed is in it. I sleep in my bed. Sleeping is wonderful. I did a bunch of it just last night, but, as you will soon learn, perhaps not quite enough. The woman speaking to my wife looked in my direction, referred to me by name, gave her name and said that it was nice to meet me. I have been forcing myself of late, when meeting others, to look them in the eyes and give them a firm handshake. I immediately made my way

towards her to charm her with my calculated people skills. When I was only six inches from this woman, while looking her in the eyes and with my right hand fully extended into classic handshaking form, my big toe on my bare right foot gripped the carpet, folded up under my foot and sent me immediately to the ground. My eyes that were previously directed at hers were now pointed to the ground, which was now much closer to my head than it was just one second before. My hand that was just extended into impressive handshaking shape now grabbed onto my big, idiot toe. When I dared to look up, my wife had her hand over her mouth, possibly to express sympathy after my accident, but probably just to suppress her laughter. The lady I was attempting to impress seemed overwhelmed by the situation. How do you prepare yourself for something like this? What’s the correct thing to say? I quickly got back up, said, “Now let’s try this again.” I hid my pain behind a smiling face

10 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013

Swanville, ME (207)338-4586 www.mooressepticinc.com

and shook her hand as I told her that it was nice to meet her. I have learned in standup comedy that if you have a strong opening and conclusion that people usually forget the stuff in the middle. Unfortunately, this was not standup comedy. It wasn’t even standing up. And just to express how seriously screwed up my mind has become of late, I need to tell you that my ultimate concern was not whether my toe was broken or with my dorky attempt at hospitality. I was relieved to have finally found a topic for this humor column. If my readers are to learn anything from this embarrassing situation it is that each one of you should start writing your own humor column. Then, whenever you do something moronic, you will immediately benefit from it. Plus, I can read about it and feel better about the stupid things that I do. Hey! That’s a pretty great idea! MORON: 1 NOT MORON: 1


© 2Copyright B&L Capital / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Professional Repair iPhone | iPod | iPad

Repair/Troubleshooting Virus/Spyware Removal Software Installation Hardware Installation Wireless/Wired Networking Training/Tutoring System Upgrades/Updates Data Backup Data Recovery Remote Support

More experience. Less expensive.

cdcomputerroom.com

“Great news! You don’t have to worry about the solvency of social security!”

207.217.2534

| chris@cdcomputerroom.com

FACT OR FICTION? *Ben and Jerry’s send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo. *Dolphins sleep with one eye open. *”Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.” by DANIEL BORIS Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

HOXWINDER HALL

15 MINUTES

by ROBERT DUCKETT

© 2011 Robert Duckett / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 11


CRIME-QUIZ

by WERNER WEJP-OLSEN

THIN LINES

by Randy Glasbergen

Š 2011 Werner Wejp-Olsen / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

THE

OTHER PLACE 368 Augusta Rd, Belmont 342-5872

NO FUNNIES EXTRA IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS?

No problem! Contact Funnies Extra Headquarters for information on starting your own lucrative Funnies Extra! publishing business. Hurry! Limited licensing opportunities available in select territories across the U.S. and Canada.. For details, go to: www.funnies-extra.com

12 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013

Seedless Watermelon $3 (while they last) Boston RedSox, Celtics, Bruins, New England Patriots touch lamps $29.95 New selection of fishing rods, reels, lures, line, flies, poppers, and other accessories now available. New smoking accessories. Blue Seal Feeds and Pine shavings always available Gift Certificates & Layaway Always Available Open Mon-Sat 9:30 - 5; Sun 9:30-4 6 miles from Belfast


2

7

8

4

9

5

10

11

6

#2 FUEL KEROSENE OFF-ROAD DIESEL PROPANE GASOLINE ON-ROAD DIESEL

12

14 Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC in North America only.

LAST MONTH’S ANSWERS

A great way to save money on oil!

thompsonsoil.com 207.342.4040 1376 Waterville Road, Waldo, Maine

© 2011 Sheila Anderson / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

www.facebk.com/tasteslikechickencomic

Tastes LikeBYChicken JOSH ALVES

©2012 Josh Alves

13

3

wordgames.co.uk

1

In a perfect world.

For answers, visit funnies-extra.com/puzzles.php

VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 13


Funnies Extra! will feature at least four straight issues of comic strips and panels from aspiring, non-syndicated cartoonists. Comic strips or cartoon panels may be published from cartoonists of any age, with a short bio. For submission guidelines and information, go to: www.funnies-extra.com/submissions. Send each furnished strip as a PDF file along with your name, age, address and phone number. Send 5 to 10 color submissions to: submissions@funnies-extra.com and type “Spotlight” in the subject line. Good luck and have fun! (participation void where prohibited) by MARK SIMON Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

MT Bottles REDEMPTION CENTER

HOLLYWEIRD

Fast, accurate, friendly service! Owner on site! R 6¢ PER BOTTLE PRESENT THIS COUPON FO

65 MT. EPHRAIM RD, SEARSPORT MON-SAT, 9AM-5PM | 548-2363

Many Styles for Men and Women!

MARK SIMON Producer/Director/Cartoonist Mark Simon is 25-year film & TV veteran amassing over 3,000 production credits including animation producer on Larry the Cable Guy’s latest movie, Tooth Fairy 2. His storyboard and animation companies, www.Storyboards-East.com, have included clients such as Disney, Universal, Viacom, Sony, HBO, Nickelodeon, FOX, Steven Spielberg, USA Networks, ABC Television and many others. His experience selling original TV series led to his founding www. SellYourTvConceptNow.com to mentor other creators. He is also the author of ten popular industry texts, and lectures around the world at major conferences, entertainment trade schools and universities.

POCKET LINT

by CHUCK DOWNS

Haikus amuse me But sometimes can confuse me Refrigerator I always find random things in my pockets at the end of the day: paper clips, gum wrappers, dry cleaning receipts and the ever-present lint. These drawings are what’s left in my head when the day is done: the random “pocket lint” of my brain.

Come see our new styles for spring! COLBURN SHOE STORE | 338.1934 Downtown Belfast | Open Every Day! | Downtown Belfast www.ColburnShoe.com | Like us on Facebook

CHUCK DOWNS Cartoonist

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

14 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013

Chuck Downs is a carbon-based form of cartoonist who lives in Florida with his wife and two children. By day, he is vice president of marketing for a company that clearly does not conduct very thorough background checks. By night, he fights crime. Now that he is older, his experience only walks the gamut for fear of pulling a hamstring. He often “misuses” quotation marks, and likes to frequently split his infinitives.


CROSSWORD by Mirror Eyes

e-Services enjoy our convenient

KSW@Home

Home Banking. Allows you 24/7 account access online.

CUe-Statement

View and store statements online- eliminates paper waste.

Online Bill Pay

One-time $5 setup fee- pay virtually any bill from one site.

Mobile Banking

Check balances and make transfers anywhere, anytime, from a mobile device (text/data rates may apply).

also... ACROSS 1. Daisy like bloom 6. Bygone era 10. Doing nothing 14. Rental agreement 15. Matured 16. Mangle 17. Collection of maps 18. Formally surrender 19. Rumple 20. Shield 22. Initial wager 23. Bran source 24. Shabby 26. In a forward direction 30. Sudden burst 32. Crystal-lined rock 33. A guest cabin 37. Space 38. Without company 39. Hawkeye State 40. Gift 42. Stares 43. Poverty-stricken 44. Assault sexually 45. Extraterrestrial 47. Average 48. Blockhead 49. Astounded 56. Hindu princess 57. Razzes 58. France’s longest river 59. Chocolate cookie 60. Stringed instrument 61. Move forward suddenly 62. Small slender gull 63. Hearing organs 64. Eagerness DOWN 1. Wings 2. Collections 3. After-bath powder 4. Brother of Jacob 5. Repair 6. Luxury boat 7. Curved molding 8. Start over

9. Without teeth 10. Extraneous 11. Intimidate 12. Vigorously passionate 13. If not 21. Knave 25. Consumed food 26. Monster 27. A noble gas 28. Comes from trees 29. Rebuke 30. Obdurate 31. Breathe hard 33. Sleigh 34. Exude 35. Is endebted to 36. Spar 38. Willing to comply 41. Tiny 42. Big ape 44. Adult male 45. Cognizant 46. A protective covering 47. Models 48. Gait faster than a walk 50. Kind of bean 51. Unit of pressure 52. Not sweet 53. Posterior 54. Therefore 55. Bambi was one

Free Personal Checking Accounts No minimum balance or monthly fees. Available with VISA debit card- just like writing a check, but accepted anywhere you see VISA.

www.kswfcu.org 135 WALDO AVENUE, BELFAST, ME 04915 | (207)338-5160 FAX: (207)338-6129 222 COLLEGE AVENUE, WATERVILLE, ME 04901 | (207)872-5602 FAX: (207)872-5776

SPECTICKLES

by BILL ABBOTT THE DEEP END

by TYSON COLE

© 2011 Bill Abbott / Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

Answers to last month’s crossword

Distributed by Ink Bottle Syndicate, LLC

VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013 | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | 15


SPEED BUMP

by DAVE COVERLY

LOOSE PARTS

by DAVE BLAZEK

CHUCKLE BROS by BRIAN & RON BOYCHUCK

through the teen We empower boys and girls from grade school that centers on years and from various backgrounds with the truth works with all the gospel of Jesus Christ. Our summer camp staff of life in cabin s issue campers on their level in discussing important kers encourage devotional times and our high quality guest spea ons happening and motivate our young people during chapel sessi e and beyond who daily. We challenge the young people from Main tually, socially, spiri enter our doors as summer campers to become nsible leaders, mentally, and physically healthy and to become respo hy relationships. with creative thinking, self-motivation, and healt

FA I R H AV E N C A M P S

81 W. FAIR HAVEN L ANE - BRO OKS, ME 04921 - (207)722-3456 KARMA CAFE

by RICHARD CROSS and BILL ABBOTT

16 | FUNNIES EXTRA! MIDCOAST EDITION | www.funnies-extra-maine.com | VOL 2 ED 5 - JULY 2013

|

REGISTER@FAIRHAVENCAMPS.ORG

Want to learn more about Funnies Extra!? Scan this tag with your smartphone. Don’t have the app? Enter the URL on the bottom-right to download the FREE Mobile App on your smartphone!

Funnies Extra Midcoast Maine July 2013  

Funnies Extra is a free, full color 16-page tabloid filled with funnies and puzzles. Thousands of copies of Funnies Extra! are read monthly...

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you