From Study Buddies to Forever Family: FSU Higher Education’s “Cocoa Scholars”

FROM STUDY BUDDIES TO

FOREVER FAMILY FSU HIGHER EDUCATION’S

“COCOA SCHOLARS”

By Jennie Kroeger Students have formed study groups for about as long as formalized education has been around. Having fellow students in the same proverbial boat as you can serve as a powerful network of support not only academically, but also personally. Some groups can create friendships that last long after graduation, but on rare occasions, some can even become family.

This is the case of a group of recent FSU higher education program graduates of color known as the Cocoa Scholars. This team of eight includes Jhenai Chandler (Ph.D. ‘20), Jesse Ford (Ph.D. ‘20), Miguel Hernández (Ed.D. ’20), Sandra Martindale (Ed.S. ’20), Dawn Matthews (Ph.D. ‘20), LaFarin Meriwether (Ph.D. ‘20), Chandra Myrick (Ph.D. ’20) and Sophia Rahming (Ph.D. ’19).

“Cocoa Scholars emerged out of several separate groups,” says Rahming, the driving force behind the group. “We tried out a few names, but in time we decided that Cocoa Scholars described us perfectly.

At first, we only studied together, but then we started sharing more and more of our personal lives. One day we woke up, and without intending it, we were a family.”

Rahming won the higher education program’s 2015 – 2016 Sherrill W. Ragan’s Leadership & Service Award for her “other mother” role in the group. “I would check on everyone’s progress, clarify assignments, prod, poke, encourage and praise (these became shouts) everyone toward the finish line,” says Rahming. “In short, they let me get in their business.”

The group often looked to faculty in the program

for guidance and direction—particularly Dr. Tamara Bertrand Jones, associate professor of higher education. “Dr. Bertrand Jones was our de facto advisor and mentor,” says Rahming. “We went to her for every concern, every triumph, every doubt, and when we needed guidance about what road to take.”

Bertrand Jones took on this responsibility willingly. “As a faculty member, my role in the academy is to create a supportive environment for all students,” she says.

“My personal commitment is to provide a safe place for students and to help them navigate higher education.

As a Black faculty member, my commitment extends to helping students of color thrive personally and professionally.”

We spoke to the scholars to learn more about what their experience in the group meant to them.

PLEASE TELL US ABOUT A MEMORABLE MOMENT YOU HAD AS A MEMBER OF THE GROUP. Jhenai Chandler (JC): We share so many memorable moments, but what is most memorable is witnessing my daughter become more ambitious about school when she attended Cocoa Scholars’ study successions and events. As a mom I was always conflicted about spending time away from home to study or work on papers, but this group always welcomed my children and planted seeds for greatness in their lives. They helped with homework and provided social support for my daughter. At the start of the program, Madison was about eight years old. Now at 13 years old, I can see how she applies what she observed at our study

From top left: Jhenai Chandler, Jesse Ford, Miguel Hernández, Sandra Martindale, Dawn Matthews, LaFarin Meriwether, Chandra Myrick and Sophia Rahming

sessions or in our classes in her academics. The representation of Black scholars, the exposure to doctoral classes and COE scholarship breakfasts will have a lasting impression on her academic journey. For me, that’s memorable and justifies the many sacrifices made throughout this journey.

Jesse Ford (JF): When I think about this group, these scholars, this family, the most memorable moments for me are the times we would spend together—typically over a meal, a regression problem or while we were writing our dissertations. I think the most memorable moments outside of completing coursework or having conversations about the state of higher education were the shared laugher and the ideas we generated in community. There is something to be said about shared identities, shared responsibility of each other’s success and shared accountability to make sure we all completed this process.

Miguel Hernández (MH): There were so many transformative moments I had with individuals and the collective group during my doctoral studies. I will

start by sharing that there was a comfort I felt walking into academic spaces and seeing Black and Brown scholars engaged in the process of learning and creating knowledge. I grew to admire my colleagues and simply being around them inspired my curiosity, critical thinking and confidence. I would also say that it was uplifting to navigate the journey in relationship with Black and Brown peers who were willing to coach and guide me when I was unsure of myself, hold me accountable when I was not as focused and celebrate with me when I reached a milestone in the program.

Sandra Martindale (SM): I think the Cocoa Scholars really solidified as a little family during our study sessions for Regression class. We spent long hours together that summer making sure that everyone got it. Sometimes we would even have our favorite baby Cocoa Scholar (Jhenai’s daughter) who I’m sure knows more about Regression than any other kid her age.

Dancing in LaFarin’s kitchen after Thanksgiving dinner.

Somehow Thanksgiving turned into a house party. Still makes me smile.

each other. For example, I got a promotion in my fulltime job, lost two close family members, and gave birth to my first child. The Cocoa Scholars even threw me a baby shower and took extensive notes for me when I went into labor a week after our statistics midterm so that I would be able to understand what I’d missed when I came back. Each of us has had life events take place throughout this journey and have been able to celebrate or provide support to each other in such a beautiful way.

LaFarin Meriwether (LM): My most recent memorable moment is seeing all of us on the screen when the last of us was introduced as Dr. We did it! No one was left behind. All 8. I think that is statistically significant!

Another was being convinced by Jhenai to do a 5k. It was always a good time when we celebrated milestones and life events.

Dr. Tamara Bertrand Jones

Watching Sophia walk out of her dissertation defense was special. She was the first Cocoa Scholar to defend and always insisted that she didn’t want anyone there.

I couldn’t imagine not being there for her when she has always been my biggest supporter and fan, so I flew from Barbados and surprised her. We cried like babies when we saw each other.

When my mother died, the Cocoa Scholars took care of me from afar and sent me on a spa day at a local resort.

It was the perfect gift and just what I needed.

Dawn Matthews (DM): My most memorable moments are definitely those long nights during the coursework stages of this process where we would all be locked in a random conference room on campus with food, laptops, books, and coffee. There were countless nights of being on campus well past 1:00 AM trying to understand linear regression or explain our research topics for student development theory. And some nights were less about work and more about fun. The laughter that took place and the accountability and resource sharing that we offered each other during those moments is priceless.

Also, at the end of each semester (and sometimes in between) we would all try to get together for happy hour or dinner as a way to unwind from the semester and decompress. It served as a time of celebration, validation, and motivation to press forward in the upcoming term.

I often think about the many life events that took place among us over the years and how we’ve supported

Chandra Myrick (CM): I have spent many late-night hours with this group. There have been numerous occasions when we have studied or worked on papers until the wee hours of the morning. There have been many late dinners, snacks, laugh breaks and cry sessions spent in Stone, Strozier, and other conference/ meeting rooms on campus. It always felt like the group was never willing to leave anyone behind, so it didn’t matter how late it got; someone was always willing to be there until the last one finished. That was definitely my experience with the dissertation process as I was the last one in the group to defend. Although others were done, they constantly offered to stay up with me on Zoom as I was writing or answered text messages in the middle of the night to make sure I had what I needed to finish.

Sophia Rahming (SR): I have had so many beautiful moments with Cocoa Scholars that it’s tough to choose, but I thought I would share this one: I defended on May 2, 2019, and I gave instructions that no one was to attend my defense. Chan and Miguel disobeyed entirely. They came, and I let them in. The moment that sent me over the brink, so to speak, was when I left the conference room so the committee could deliberate. I made a left turn, and there was Sandra!

She had flown in from Barbados! I cried my eyes out. I knew she had recently lost her mom and that she was going through a hard time, yet there she was, again disobeying instructions, in the Stone building for my defense. Someone snapped a picture of me holding her tightly and crying. It remains one of my favorite memories, among so many, with Cocoa Scholars. A very close second place belongs to having more than

one surgery since I’ve been in Tallahassee, and that for each one, Miguel was there. He brought me home and put me to bed after the last one. These are the actions of family, not study friends.

WHAT DID BEING A PART OF THIS GROUP MEAN TO YOU? JC: As a first-generation college student, I did not have family or many friends who understood the ins and outs of the doctoral process. Cocoa Scholars provided a community of support to vent, seek guidance and support along the way. I would not have made it to the Ph.D. finish line without their love and shoulders to cry on when balancing school, full-time work and family became challenging. We all worked full-time at Florida State University, were first-generation and some were also parents, so the relatability of our shared experiences was an asset. Additionally, Cocoa Scholars meant having a safe group to challenge my thoughts and ideas to be innovative and equity-driven with my scholarship.

JF: As scholars of color, we spend so much time reading and hearing about the complexities of being a student of color and navigating the academy. I am fortunate to have this community, as they are brilliant minds with so much to offer the field of education. I have truly enjoyed knowing that if I need them, I can call on them, and vice versa. No matter how near or far, we stand on the principle of helping each other do well and that’s what this group is for me: a family always striving to do and be better.

“Connecting with other Black and Brown peers was critical and I believe key to retention and graduation.”

MH: I dropped out of high school when I was sixteen years old. I never expected to go to college, let alone graduate from an institution as prestigious as Florida State University with a doctorate degree. Throughout my undergraduate and graduate programs, connecting with other Black and Brown peers was critical and I believe key to retention and graduation. I also believe my Cocoa Scholar family represented an opportunity for individuals whose cultural background and ancestors come from a collectivist tradition to redefine and reshape this academic experience in a way that aligned more with our identity, culture and heritage.

For me personally, being part of the Cocoa Scholars meant that we were not alone. We learned with and from each other. We challenged each other. We spoke hard truths when necessary. We cried through our transformation from who we were to the brilliant people we have become. We created a strong sense of belonging that nurtured us along the way as we experienced every aspect of life from chronic illnesses, divorce, new jobs, death of loved ones and the birth of new lives. Wow, what a journey it has been!

SM: I’m not sure I have enough words to explain how much the Cocoa Scholars mean to me. They were my cheerleaders and my drill sergeants. I know I wouldn’t have finished my degree without them.

DM: It has meant the world to me. I am not 100% certain that I would have been able to finish this degree if it weren’t for the Cocoa Scholars. It’s so hard to feel that you can achieve something when you don’t see anyone else around you with your shared identities achieving it or doing their best to push through. I recognize that so many other Black and Brown students in doctoral programs do not have the opportunities for community that we had, and I am forever grateful to have been able to be on this journey with such great scholars. While I have a great support system beyond FSU, the reality is that no one really knows what it’s like to earn a terminal degree unless they’ve gone through the process before, so there was only so much support my family and friends could offer. Having scholars who could relate and that also knew what it felt like to navigate this journey as a person of color was something that I needed and benefitted from.

LM: This was the village that we as Black students, regardless of education level or experience, are told to find to make it through this journey. We have been taught “you don’t do this alone.” It is not lost on me that my experience of not knowing what it is like to not be in a doctoral class with other Black women or men is an anomaly. This group held me up when I wanted to quit, encouraged me, celebrated with me, laughed and cried with me. There are many Saturdays that Newks on Tennessee Street hosted Jhenai, Jesse and me for our weekly grind sessions. Jhenai reminded me to keep working because of how I felt about little squiggles next to my A’s. These wonderful humans are my family forever and always.

CM: This group has literally been my lifeline for the past six years. There have been many moments of questioning my abilities and my desire to finish this race. This group has been there every step of the way,

from coursework to dissertation writing. I have been so fortunate to have this group in my life as they not only support and encourage me, but they also challenged me to keep going and to hold my head up when things got tough. I cannot properly express how much their support has meant as it has not been limited to only my academic journey; this group has truly poured into supporting me in every aspect of my life. I truly consider them part of my chosen family.

SR: It was everything. They were my friends, my encouragers, my gut check, my chauffeurs (inside joke), my call-on-the-carpet people. We started out as study buddies and grew into a family. We have been there for each other through countless ups and downs, births and deaths, and especially for that thing we all came here to do—finish. We don’t listen to the naysayers, nor the outside voices that would have us believe that we can’t do this work! We’ve been there for each introduction of, “Everyone, join me in congratulating…!” I never got tired of hearing or seeing these moments, and I literally could not have finished without Cocoa Scholars and Dr. Bertrand Jones.

WHERE ARE YOU NOW, CAREER-WISE? HOW DID THE HIGHER EDUCATION PROGRAM AND THIS GROUP PREPARE YOU FOR YOUR CURRENT ROLE?

JC: I currently serve as director of the Florida-Caribbean Louis Stokes Regional Center of Excellence, an NSFfunded research collaborative focused on broadening participation in STEM. FSU’s higher education curriculum covered everything from policy, student development, social justice, economics of education and both qualitative and quantitative research methods, which collectively prepared me to successfully lead this center. The training from the higher education program provided me with knowledge and skills to be equity focused, mindful of student experiences and student barriers to student success that allow me to conduct critical research and faculty development to address the underrepresentation of Black and Brown students in STEM. My work isn’t easy. Being a Black woman in an executive/management position at a predominately white institution is complicated. Having a group of trusted friends and colleagues who understand the higher education landscape and can help strategize is vital to my success and survival in the workplace.

JF: Today, I am an assistant professor of higher education at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. This is the most ironic part of my journey, as I had no aspirations of being a faculty member at

the start of my journey. I was interested to know how they experienced higher education, but I do not think I wanted to actually be a faculty member. The training I received at FSU, through coursework, interacting with the faculty, student involvement, leadership roles and a responsibility to better others led me to this path. I was forever shaped to view and understand the world differently by my peers and the faculty. My advisor, Dr. Tamara Bertrand Jones, was instrumental in my development. I would not be where I am without her willingness to advocate, mentor, support and champion me!

MH: Currently, I serve as associate dean of students at the University of California Irvine. In this role I manage six functional areas within the Dean of Students office. These units include the LGBT Resource Center, the Veteran Services Center, the Center for Student Leadership, the Cross-Cultural Center, Sorority & Fraternity Life and the Center for Organizations and Volunteer Programs.

Through our coursework and program requirements, the higher education program increased a number of critical skills I use every day, such as time management, collaboration skills, political awareness, organization and governance, evaluation, assessment, research and more.

DM: I currently serve as an associate director of advising at FSU. The higher education program has taught me how I can approach my work through the lens of a scholar-practitioner. It has also taught me to think critically about the literature that exists on the work that I do and recognize how important it is for me to contribute to my field in that manner. Additionally, I am a young Black woman with a Ph.D. who received so much knowledge and wisdom from our faculty and my peers. Being able to step into spaces that do not cater to my marginalized identities and still be confident in my abilities to speak the language, cite the literature, and utilize my practitioner lens to support the work that I do is a testament to what I’ve gained from the program.

LM: Currently, I am the associate director for residence life at UNC Greensboro. I worked full time while completing my degree and this family was there when both work and school were too much. Even though we are not all in the same state anymore, we still are in contact we each other on a regular basis.

CM: I currently serve as the assistant vice chancellor for student life and executive director of university housing at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville.

I am proud to be a two-time alumna of FSU’s higher education program (M.S. ’02, Ph.D. ‘20). This program has taught me so much about what it means to be a competent professional in student affairs. Many of the principles and values that drive my work were formed during my tenure at FSU as both a graduate student and professional staff member. The higher education program really helped me understand how to be a scholar practitioner. I will always appreciate how I was trained to be a practitioner with very practical training through internships and assistantships, but also how I was trained to be a researcher through my academic coursework. I believe the higher education program has some of the most engaged and supportive faculty in the country. They have truly inspired me to not settle for mediocrity and not limit my ability inside and outside of the classroom.

SR: I’m an associate director in the Center for the Advancement of Teaching at FSU. That’s right, I didn’t leave! I merged my mission to increase the number of minoritized women in STEM with the higher education theory I learned in the program, then threw in some of my educator and grant writing past, and here I am in this job that I love, at the institution that we love (I bleed Garnet and Gold). I hope to give back to the institution at least as much as it has given to me for as long as I am allowed.

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SOMEONE WHO’S CONSIDERING FSU’S HIGHER EDUCATION PROGRAM (OR GRADUATE SCHOOL IN GENERAL)?

JC: I highly recommend FSU’s higher education program to everyone! The faculty in the department are all engaged in innovative and relevant research, but most of all they are supportive of graduate students. My doctoral committee was phenomenal, and I could not have asked for a better group of faculty to work with on my dissertation. I often read horror stories about doctoral programs, but I have all positives to report about our higher education program. The department offered support from scholarships, quality advising, and one of my favorites—the designated graduate cubicles!

JF: My advice would be to submit that application. If you are considering FSU’s higher education program, then I say do it. You will learn so much about who you are and the work of higher education, but more importantly, how you can better the world we live in.

MH: If you decide to attend Florida State University, I believe you will have access to amazing faculty, a brilliant

community of scholars to learn with and an institution committed to supporting graduate education.

I also encourage you to find your scholar family. Invest the time and energy along the way. The return on this investment is priceless.

SM: You can’t do it alone. Find your tribe. Ask for help.

Everyone may seem to have it together, but you are not alone.

DM: Find your community and utilize them often! This process is a BEAST, and it is easy to feel defeated or as if you do not belong or aren’t smart enough. Having a community can be the determining factor for if you will make it to the end or not. In a community, everyone brings value and adds something meaningful to help the group. This takes the pressure off of having to perfect everything.

Additionally, connect with faculty and seek mentorship.

Not just someone who will guide you on the academic pieces, but someone you can talk to about the life pieces as well. This was something I did a bit later than I should have. Had I done this earlier, I can only imagine how much better my experience would have been.

Give yourself grace and be kind to yourself. One of my fellow Cocoa Scholars would always remind me, “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” This was such a powerful reminder that this was my journey; it would look different than the journey of others, so comparing or succumbing to the competition was a waste of time and energy.

LM: Find your people. It is absolutely necessary! I found mine and it made all the difference. Don’t doubt yourself; you are in the program for a reason, and don’t let anyone tell you different. Change the world with your scholarship! For future Black scholars: if you want to write about Black people, do it! No one asks the white scholar why they write about white people.

CM: The higher education program at FSU is really something special. You will get from it what you give to it. You will not lack for support and opportunities to be challenged about what you know and what you need to know to become the student affairs professional you want to be.

SR: Do it! Jelaluddin Rumi, a 13th-century mystic poet, said, “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.”

What graduate school does well is it ignites and fuels

an increased sense of curiosity (bewilderment). The questions never stop. If problem-solving and a search for innovative solutions excite you, graduate school is for you. If you have a restless discontent with the status quo and critiquing, dismantling, and transgressing systems appeal to you, graduate school is for you. More than that, FSU’s higher education program is a great place to do it. Do it!

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE? JC: The Sisters of the Academy Research Bootcamp, led by Dr. Bertrand Jones, was a pivotal component of our success. Bootcamp provided mentorship and demystified the dissertation and faculty pathways. It is important for the COE to continue to support this program to ensure more Black women earn Ph.Ds. It was by far one of the hardest weeks of my life, but it benefited me in so many ways both academically and professionally.

DM: Traditionally, communities of color survive based on the ways in which we leverage our village. Our people are our social and cultural capital. They help us build resilience and maintain our aspirations. It is so important that doctoral programs recognize this when admitting marginalized students to their programs.

Having someone be “the only” is harmful to them and does not set them up for success. The Cocoa Scholars are a manifestation of the literature that speaks to the importance of diversity in graduate programs. I truly believe we represent what can happen when Black and Brown graduate students are given the resources (community, financial support knowledge, and confidence) that are needed to be successful. For us, the proof is in the degrees and transcripts.

I also have to acknowledge the faculty of color in the program. For me specifically, Dr. Perez-Felkner was a phenomenal support system when I get pregnant in my second year and was navigating how to juggle school, work and motherhood. Additionally, Dr. Bertrand Jones was my saving grace toward finishing this degree. She has been such a role model and motivator for me as I dealt with life and its many roadblocks. I cried so many tears in her office I’m sure I owe her some tissue boxes. I recognize in hindsight that her allowing me the space to be vulnerable and get out all of my worries and frustration helped me to make room for the mental space I would need to tackle finishing my degree. Her feedback is critical, constructive, and pushes you to want to be as great as she is. I aspire to mentor others in the same ways that I have benefited from it in these ways.

“Our people are our social and cultural capital. They help us build resilience and maintain our aspirations.”

LM: None of this would have been possible without Dr. Tamara Bertrand Jones. I don’t have the words to adequately describe her impact on us and me. She gives all of who she is for her students and we were no exception. I know the weight she carries as the lone tenured Black female faculty member in the higher education program. Without her there would be no us.

SR: Dr. Bertrand Jones—our mentor, coach, friend, Sistar, the list goes on—told me something I’ve never forgotten. She said, “You can’t do this work alone!” She was right, as she is about almost everything. I needed her and Cocoa Scholars to get to this point. I need them to keep me growing in my job. I need them to keep me growing as a person. I was Cocoa Scholar #1, and when the last Cocoa Scholar finished, Cocoa Scholar #8, I felt this indescribable joy rise up in me. We were done, and each of us finished in a way that made sense only to that person. No two of us did the same thing nor navigated this process in the same way. Most important was that we knew that no matter what, we had someone who would answer a call, send some resources, get on a plane (who does that?!) because that’s what we do! We love and support our #CocoaScholarFamily!

“I am extremely proud of each of the Cocoa Scholars,” says Bertrand Jones. “They were determined to complete their degrees and did so despite personal trials and the challenges inherent to doctoral education.

It especially warms my heart to see them thrive during their time with us and beyond.”

Though the Cocoa Scholars have all graduated, they’re continuing the important work they began as students in the higher education program. “I am most excited about the impact that these scholars will have on their environments through their research and practice,” says Bertrand Jones, “They all conducted timely, relevant, and rigorous research, and engage in responsive practice that I know is changing higher education to be more diverse, inclusive and just. They inspire me to continue doing my own work!”

It’s clear that the Cocoa Scholars exemplify the three pillars of FSU’s higher education program—student success, leadership and social justice—and will continue to do so for years to come.