the one who really hears your heart will stick around long enough to prove himself worthy of your gifts.” - Dana “Meeting folks can be stressful and very disappointing at times. Don’t ‘settle’ out of loneliness or boredom. There are many princes and princesses posing as frogs. Do your homework.”Don One online couple, Bryan and Rachel, report a positive online dating experience. They took their time, got to know each other and developed a real, non-superficial relationship. For them, meeting online has slowly blossomed into a lasting romance and marriage filled with fun! Their adorable baby girl will grow up in a family that thrives because of the little ways they cultivate their love and keep it strong. So is every online relationship that starts slow and has parties who are equally trying to get to know the other bound for success? 1+1 = 2, right? Wrong! If dating is simple math, online dating is calculus. It’s more complicated and there isn’t a simple formula that just works for everyone. Each person has to work out their own “equations”. Online dating can be worth the gamble, if you go about it intelligently, using common sense and the accountability of friends and family. Finally, however you go about your online dating experience, be safe! Safety first! Before meeting face-to-face, Google the person’s full name or if necessary, do a background check. When meeting someone, be accountable with a close friend/family member by giving them cell phone numbers, tag numbers; whatever you need to do to be safe. If all is going well on the first meeting and you both choose to spend extended time with a person, follow them to a different location if necessary. Don’t ride together. Use safety, wisdom, and keep an open mind, and maybe you too can be online and in love.
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Sam Moorcroft, President and CEO of ChristianCafe.com and his staff suggest simple, yet important strategies for online dating success: “Be patient. Meeting someone whom you hope to spend the rest of your life with should not be a rushed affair. Ask a lot of questions. Some members provide little information in their profiles so doing a bit of homework ahead of time can save you the hassle of meeting someone with whom you have little in common. You can also get to know a person a lot better if you chat a lot online. Many of our members who meet in person say they felt like they knew the person prior to seeing them, because they spent so much time chatting on our site. Also, use common sense when chatting with someone new: don’t get too emotionally involved in a relationship before you meet and play it safe if you decide to meet in person.” Finally, give everyone a chance. You’re interested in meeting someone and so are the people you’re chatting to. If you don’t take a chance, you could miss out on meeting some great people, and possibly “the one.”According to Sam Moorcroft, “The biggest relationship breakers are placing a focus on short term qualities (e.g. spontaneity, carefree attitude to life, etc.) and not learning from past relationship mistakes. Some singles tend to repeat the same poor choices in mates and end up frustrated by their lack of success.” We interviewed several online daters for their online dating tips and here are their thoughts:
“Robert looked just as handsome as he did in his online photos! He grins at me, tells me I look prettier than I did in my pictures and we were off to a great start! One of the concerns that repeatedly came up in recent discussions is that often people do not represent themselves accurately--in photos or in written descriptions, so we were both relieved!”- Rita “Very often we describe ourselves as we would want to appear instead of who we really are. Inevitably the other party discovers the real person and is taken aback or disappointed. Many folks are also influenced by looks or age – this is particularly prevalent in men. This leads to the second part of the question. Being truthful and taking time to get to know one another is critical. Taking time should be a fairly long period and run through 2 to 4 seasons of a year. Don’t double-date while doing this! Also, ladies – never pursue the man vigorously. Let him do most of the calling on you. Most men have one thing in mind; so ladies, keep him at arm’s length until you know that he is a keeper.”- Don “Use discernment. You have too much to lose if you do not listen to that voice inside. You can lose your heart, your peace, your confidence, and even potentially your bank account. There are players out there and trust is something that is built not given.”- Dana “Don’t assume people are honest. People can be anyone they want to be online. Make sure the walk matches the talk.”- Warren “Being vulnerable and moving too quickly into romance is another potential concern. Does it feel good to have someone interested, you bet. But, for my own sanity I have to keep my head in reality as my heart hopes for the dream. And never, ever, compromise your boundaries. Those are hard lessons to learn. Just say no, and maybe
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• Clearly decide, even put into writing, your make or break character traits a mate must have and traits you know you can’t tolerate. • Understand yourself and what you personally have to bring to a relationship and potential marriage.