Caitlin_Lewis

Appreciate the Little Things

Written, Designed, and Photographed by Caitlin Lewis

Appreciate the Little Things

Written, Designed, and Photographed by Caitlin Lewis

Dedication This book is dedicated to Heidi Lundberg. She’s been completely amazing through the entire creation of this book and has been a huge help through everything. She is the strongest person I’ve ever met and it’s an honor to be able to do a documentary on her.

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One of the Team Heidi 2011lanyards

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Acknowledgements I

would like to thank my Freestyle teachers for giving me the encouragement and support to make this book in the amount of time we were given. For the consistent editing and adjusting, telling me what was wrong and what I could fix. Though it was hard, I think the final product is worth it. I would also like to thank Heidi Lundberg for putting up with my continuous questioning and asking. Thank you to my interviewees, Heidi Lundberg, Sara Lighthall, and Jenny Gordon, and my parental editor, Kari Lewis.

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Two of the girls from winter guard practicing

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Table of Contents Dedication..................................................................................................................................... Pg 2 Awknowledgements....................................................................................................................... Pg 4 Table of contents............................................................................................................................ Pg 6 Forword......................................................................................................................................... Pg 8 Introduction................................................................................................................................. Pg 10 Chapter 1: Heidi’s Story................................................................................................................. Pg 12 Chapter 2: How She Did it.............................................................................................................Pg 16 Chapter 3: Support........................................................................................................................Pg 20 Conclusion....................................................................................................................................Pg 26 Bibliography.................................................................................................................................Pg 28 7

F o r e w o r d The first time I really met Heidi Lundberg was when my sister brought her home for a movie night. She greeted me with a smile and a friendly handshake, and I stayed up with them until late at night watching a movie and talking about life. I had seen her a few times before, during Marching band and around school, and I had heard about her friendliness and cheerfulness not only from my sister, but from some of my closer friends.

After that first meeting, I began notice her around more.

Not really in my classes, but around school, during marching band, and sometimes at home with my older sister. She always seemed so kind and friendly, taking the time to acknowledge me with a smile or a wave. I didn’t ever really speak to her, other then a friendly ‘Hello’ in the halls or a greeting at home.

Her existence in my life changed after she was diagnosed. I didn’t know until I came home on Christmas to find my sister, locked up in her room. She was obviously distressed, and it took a lot of time to coax her out of the bad mood and get her to tell me that Heidi had been diagnosed. After that, she became a huge part of everything. At school there were wristbands and lanyards with her name on it, I even owned about five of each. There were projects and such designed to raise money for her, and consistent visits from my sister to go see her. After a few offers from my sister, I finally went to visit her along with my friend Jenny.

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That was the day I learned about how strong, brave and inspirational a person can be, regardless of the situation they are in. She looked tired and weak, but still talked as though nothing was wrong, and seemed thankful just for our visit, even if it was just short. She smiled brighter than anyone and talked like we were back at home, like nothing had ever happened. And, without trying, she showed me how wonderful life is.

I choose to do the documentary on Heidi because I was not only interested in how her life has changed since, but how she was able to change the community around her. I wanted to find the negative and positive changes in her since she had been diagnosed, and what everyone else was able to do to help her. It was astounding to learn about what she went through, and see how that was able to change her through the eyes of herself, a close friend of hers, and someone she knew but not hugely well.

Even when I was just researching the topic, I found thousands of stories about the struggles cancer patients have to go through, and the toll that it takes on them. I read stories on people who had differing negative effects then Heidi did, people who didn’t get the help from their community, people who were even drawing into depression from it, and how common that was for cancer patients. Just reading it began to put life’s value and struggle into perspective for me, making me begin to second guess what I knew and how I lived.

Heidi has been through more things then I can imagine, struggling to surpass what I’ve never experienced and fighting a fate that isn’t fit for anyone, much less someone as incredible as her. It is an honor to be able to make a documentary about someone so incredible and inspirational.

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A blooming flower

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Introduction L

et’s take a moment to jump into a time machine and go to the time in your life when you are a Sophomore in high school. You aren’t at the top of the school, on the other hand, you aren’t at the bottom of the food chain. You’re pushing through tests, quizzes and homework, good times, bad times and drama, enemies, “frenemies,” and friends, teachers, instructors, and parents, classes, home and extracurriculars, barely having enough time to yourself, struggling to find who you are and what you want to be later in life. Your biggest concerns of the day is your hair or outfit, or finishing an assignment you hadn’t done the night before.

Then, in a flash of light and some medical tests, your entire life crashes before you and your only concern is getting better and surviving.

This was a dilemma that struck Heidi Lundburg in the beginning of her Sophomore year at Mountain view High school. She had been diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma, a rare disease in which cancer cells are found in the bone or in soft tissue. All of a sudden, her focus and energy and time switched from the normal school and friends to just surviving. She was pent up in a hospital for days on end, returning home for small amounts of time, then returning to the hospital again. Her time there “was kind of like a time warp. It goes fast in some ways and slow in other ways.” She recalls.

Sitting in a hospital bed, white walls and the only hum of machines as a noise. There were times when she felt like she just couldn’t support herself, and what helped her get through it was the support she was given from her friends and her community. “You know, when I was feeling bad they were always here to help bring me back and make me realize what life is worth fighting for.”

Cancer is a dangerous and scary disease that affects thousands of people each year. It not only deals an enormous physical toll on its victims, but also a huge mental toll that commonly pulls cancer patients into negative mental states such as depression, anxiety, and uncertainty. Without the support of friends and the community, cancer becomes a lot harder to overcome.

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Chapter 1:

Heidi’s Story H

eidi Lundburg lived a life similar to most teenagers in Mountain View, California. She did her extracurriculars such as Marching band during the fall season, dancing in the colorguard, and Winterguard in the spring season, spinning at competitions, along with a talented softball player. She took the same classes as most freshmen had, and then as most sophomores had, and hung out with her friends on the weekends, worried about tests and homework. And in an instant, Heidi’s life was changed forever.

Heidi was diagnosed with Ewing Sarcoma, a “rare disease in which cancer cells are found in the bone or in soft tissue.” This cancer is rare and is usually found in childhood or early adulthood. Her time changed from hanging with friends, doing homework, and working in school to waiting in a hospital, enduring tests, and surviving.

“Time spent at the hospital was kind of like a time warp.” She recalls. “It goes fast in some ways and slow in other ways. So time spent at the hospital I would grab a random-- I kind of hobby collected. I grabbed a guitar and learned to play “Hey Jude,” I figured out how to do a rubix cube. That was... that took me a couple days. I listened to probably every song ever written by Maroon5 over 500 times.

Watched a few movies, did a few art projects, it was just hobbies.”

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When Heidi broke this news to her friends, they were terrified for her. “At first I was kind of in denial. Like “This can’t be happening. This isn’t happening.” Like “We’re all going to wake up tomorrow and it’s going to be fine.”” Heidi’s good friend Sara Lighthall told me. “I don’t know. Once it kinda hit me, I was just like really really upset. And for a while I was just crying all the time, and every time I thought about it I’d start crying.”

And though friends may get worried and hurt by the news, it affects no one more than the patients themselves. People who are diagnosed with cancer commonly feel shock, anxiety, sadness, uncertainty and for some people, even depression. Take, for example, Alfie’s story. Alfie was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 66, much older than Heidi. Soon after Alfie’s diagnosis, he became uninterested and bored with everything. He later discovered that he was suffering from something commonly diagnosed to people who have cancer: Depression. Although cancer doesn’t directly cause depression, it’s usually commonly triggered by a diagnosis due to a consistent drop in their mood.

According to the National Cancer Institute at the National Institute of Health, patients experience a variety of emotions that are difficult for them to deal with. Anxiety and depression is common not only during diagnosis, but also later during treatment and in any signs of recurrence. This anxiety not only increase the patient’s pain and distress, but also makes it hard to sleep. Although it seems like a petty worry, sleep deprivation is dangerous for people fighting cancer. It takes a lot of energy to endure tests and complete the recovery, and it makes it that much harder to endure it while you are tired.

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Although Heidi did not become depressed after being diagnosed, there was a noticeable drop in her mood and energy. She had “her good days and bad days based on how [she] was feeling.” Sara told me.

“She was kind of always spunky and stuff like that, but there were definitely times when you could see it kind of like fading like when she was really tired...so she was kind of not really herself. But she always definitely maintained that humor and I think even at times that became more noticeable because she was kind of trying to cover up like how she was feeling.”

To brighten her spirit during those dark times, she bought bright colored wigs, hobby collected, and enjoyed the company of her friends when they would visit her. Sarah Lighthall, one of her close friends from school and whom I had the pleasure of speaking to, visited her often while she was in the hospital.

“There were lots of adventures, going to the hospital.” She told me. “I remember we did relay for life and Heidi couldn’t be there because she was hospitalized for a fever at the last minute. So the day after, after we were all dead [tired], my friend Ashely and I went and decorated her hospital room with lots of stuff. And often we would go there and we’d be like hungry, so Heidi would order us something. I remember once we wanted a banana, and it never came, but once we left, Heidi ended up with like three bananas.”

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Winter guard sabers practicing their tosses

“Yeah, I visited her once when she was in the hospital.” Jenny Gordon told me, a girl who was not extremely close to Heidi, but had shared a class with her during their Freshman year. “She seemed very normal and funny and positive as she always did, it was a bit of a surprise, considering the condition she was in. It was a lot of fun though. We ate cookie dough and watched one of our favorite shows. It felt like a normal hangout.”

In 2011, KTVU did a short story on Heidi. They filmed her life at school along with showing interviews with her friends and family. They talked about Team Heidi, a group formed by her friends that sold wristbands, lanyards, and collected donations not only to help Heidi, but also to help raise money for cancer research. They sold between one hundred and two hundred wristbands, along with two large orders of lanyards. The community got very excited about helping Heidi and “were just so giving, [Team Heidi] got like eight hundred dollars or something in two days and that was amazing. And so, that was the same thing with the lanyards. People were like ‘“I want one, I want five, I want fifteen.’”

These lanyards they sold raised money for Cancer research, making over $800 in one day through selling the Team Heidi items, wristbands and lanyards, but also from donations that they received from her friends and community.

This didn’t only help raise money, but it also helped raise Heidi’s spirits. When she was able to return to school, she was surprised to see the large amounts of people supporting and encouraging.

“It was crazy seeing people I didn’t even know sometimes having bracelets that said Heidi’s Hope and things. It was cool that so many people were supportive of me.”

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Chapter 2:

How She Did It 16

Heidi’s guest booklet

“Spunky.” That is the first word Sara Lighthall used to describe Heidi Lundburg. According to Dictionary.com, spunky means courageous, spirited, and determined, and looking at what Heidi has been through, that word seems to sum her up.

She’s pushed through more than most people will before they die, and she’s done it all with a smile and a hopeful cheer. Even in the darkest of moments, she clung to the hope and light that shown from her support, and she pushed through it.

Heidi does Winter Guard, a flag twirling, rifle tossing, saber spinning, exciting performance based activity during the spring season of school. After being diagnosed, she found herself unable to attend the competitions or participate in the activity. She decided, regardless of what was happening, she was going to go to the first competition. “For our first winter guard competition I had told everyone at the hospital that either they were going to let me out for the first competition, or I was going to break out for the first competition and that wouldn’t look very good on their records.” She told me, laughing at the memory. “ So they told me that if I was healthy enough to go home, they’d let me go home. I had the entire hospital talking about our competition, and you know, getting excited about it and rooting for me to get healthy enough to go home.” And she did.

Although she was only able to perform for a few seconds, “it was like I had never been diagnosed. It was nice.” The little chances at feeling like she had before, and living like she had before, gave her the hope that she needed to get through. She was given the opportunity to do what she was passionate about, and that made her stronger.

A Keyboard 17

Although she was only able to perform for a few seconds, “it was like I had never been diagnosed. It was nice.” The little chances at feeling like she had before, and living like she had before, gave her the hope that she needed to get through. She was given the opportunity to do what she was passionate about, and that made her stronger.

“Take something that you’re passionate about like, something that you used to do that you really had a passion for and do it to whatever capability that you can, as much as you can. It kind of helps you cling to that little bit of normality that you have... It doesn’t matter. If you loved running, then maybe just go and take a walk if you’re too sick to run.

Do something that you’re kind of, to an extent, it’s good to hold on to stuff.”

She didn’t only keep herself busy physically, playing hobbies and learning new things, but she also focused on keeping herself mentally happy. She tried not to let her thoughts be consumed by negativity and ‘what-ifs.’ “Yeah, actually, to keep yourself sane, you have to find things that you enjoy and you have to also kind of keep a light heart about it and keep positive. I have blue and pink wigs and those really helped me. There was a little girl at the hospital that saw me one day with blue hair and she thought I was a mermaid, and I told her I was.

Then I told her she could be a mermaid too. She just had to get different colored hair and we could be mermaids together. And it was pretty cool. You should have seen how her face lit up.”

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Chapter 3:

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Support

“She is an extremely strong girl.” Sara Lighthall told me when I asked her about Heidi. “If one person out of everyone I know is strong enough, it would be her.” Sara Lighthall is one of Heidi’s close friends, and one who helped support Heidi a lot not only during this time. Sara has always been a great support for Heidi. She believed in Heidi at times when Heidi was struggling to get through, and cheered her on even when she wasn’t there.

Sara led up a relay for life walk in honor of Heidi after she was hospitalized for a fever and unable to attend in 2011, and will do it again in 2012. She was constantly visiting Heidi in the hospital, having adventures with her there when they weren’t allowed to leave. She’d be consistently talking or texting Heidi, “making sure she’s still a part of everything we’re doing even if she’s not with us all the time.”

For Heidi, having this support was an important part of getting through this time in her life. “I, well, I like to think that it’s helped her. Obviously I wouldn’t, well, support is meant to help. I think it has helped her and I think its, especially emotionally helped her keep positive and feel part of everything which I think, in turn, will help her physically, she’ll feel more hopeful about being able to fight.”

Support from friends is one of the most necessary elements to helping Heidi get past cancer.

As recommended by Cancer.net, her friends consistently visited her, made future plans, and continued being there for her. They got her gifts and games, anything to remind her that they were there for her and they wanted her to get better.

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Though spunky and determined, Heidi also struggled through times when she felt as though she “could not support [herself].” And at times like these, she needed someone to remind her and “make [her] realize what life is worth fighting for.” And she had that support.

Heidi’s Hope was started to help raise money for Heidi and for cancer research by selling wristbands and lanyards for $5 each. But not only did her friends contribute to that, but they also raised money to buy Heidi an Ipad and a $100 itunes gift certificate. “We should get Heidi an Ipad so she has something to do in the hospital and she really likes the TV show Chuck so we got her an Itunes card for like 100 dollars or something to go with that. And we got her a case and headphones to go with that- this whole package so she would have stuff to do in the hospital.” Sarah told me.

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Medication (Above and Right)

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Another bright spot for Heidi was the Make-a-Wish Foundation. . Make-a-Wish Foundation is a group that grants the wishes of children who are diagnosed with life-threatening illnesses to “enrich them with life, strength and joy.” Heidi was one of the many who was given the chance to experience her wish. Her wish was to attend the 2012 Grammy Awards in Los Angeles. It was “the best week of my life and I’m not even just saying that.” She told me. “It was a week where I kind of just let myself be the most important person there....Usually I’m uncomfortable like having things be about me, but for that week it was really nice. People were really kind and I got to meet my hero Adam Levine and I cried. It was really great.

“Make-a-Wish is doing something wonderful.” She told me, smiling in memory. Heidi is one of many children Make-A-Wish has supported and given hope too. Another example is Tiffany who was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease at the age of eleven. After surviving and then relapsing, the doctors told her not to expect another miracle. Make-A-Wish however granted her wish, and gave her the hope and strength to fight through and live on.

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C o n c l u s i o n

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Life’s a funny thing. It picks and chooses not according to who does what and who gets what, but at seemingly random. And in picking, there isn’t a fairness in it at all. “I don’t think that bad things like this should happen to such good people, um, but I mean it’s kind of uncontrollable... I don’t think it’s fair, but I mean, you can’t really do anything about it.” (Sara Lighthall) Heidi Lundberg is doing something about it. She is fighting the cancer best she can. She has been able to push through and survive. By February of 2011, she had been cancer free for 3 months, having to endure MRI’s every three months. She doesn’t enjoy these, but views it as the “price [she has] to pay.’ A few weeks after this interview, Heidi was diagnosed with Leukemia.

Heidi’s experience with hospitals and disease continues. She is a remarkable young woman and has taught those who she know her a very valuable life lesson -- “Appreciate the little things.”

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Bibliography

Cancer.net. “Supporting a Friend Who has Cancer.” Cancer.net. March 20, 2012. <http://www.cancer.net/patient/All+About+Cancer/Cancer.Net+Feature+Articles/Family,+Friends,+and+Caregivers/Supporting+a+Frie nd+Who+Has+Cancer> “Ewing Sarcoma.” Wikipedia, the free Encyclopedia. March 20, 2012. <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ewing_sarcoma> Heidi Lundberg. Personal Interview. 20 Feb. 2012.

Jenny Gordon. Personal Interview. 12 Mar. 2012.

KTVU. “Mountain View Teen Fights Cancer with Friends.” KTVU. March 20, 2012. <http://www.ktvu.com/ news/news/mountain-view-teen-fights-cancer-with-help-from-fr/nD43J/> Make-A-Wish Foundation. “Make-A-Wish.” Make-a-Wish Foundation. March 20, 2012. <http://www.wish. org/> MacMillion. “Emotional Effects.” MacMillion. March 20, 2012. <http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Livingwithandaftercancer/Emotionaleffects/Emotionaleffects.aspx> Sara Lighthall. Personal interview. 3 March. 2012.

The National Cancer Institute. “Coping with Cancer: Managing Emotional Effects.” The National Cancer Institute. <http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping/emotionaleffects> The National Cancer Institute. “Taking Time: Support for People with Cancer.” The National Cancer Institute. <http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/takingtime/page2#A3> 29

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