Article by Noah Esparza

I BECAME AN ADULT BEFORE A TEENAGER A PROFILE BY NOAH ESPARZA

As it was time for school, ready to head out the door, the smell….a smell most people never grew up around a smell that was too familiar to me a smell that killed a smell that created an addiction.

In the living room area of her home, Jessica’s mother sat on an old green couch with a yellow and creme floral print with a spoon and lighter in her hands. Her reddish and small pupil eyes focused on the flame under the spoon, her hands had a slight shakiness to them as she heated the spoon. As she held the spoon in her right reddish and brown bubbles started to form on top of the spoon. In her left was the lighter which she let go of once the spoon was full of a dark brown liquid heroin. She put the lighter down and grabbed a piece of thin cloth. Wrapped it around her arm and found what she wanted a vein. Bloody and dirty she picked up a needle and collected the substance.

She layed back against the green couch with a very satisfied and relaxed expression, a high that was slowly killing her made her sleepy, feel not sick, and feel mentally better.

Now one of the most addicting drugs in the world heroin, “Heroin is a drug made up of morphine a psychoactive substance that is taken from the resin of the seed pod of the opium poppy. Heroin comes in white or brown powder and can even come in a sticky form called black tar heroin the color and look all depend on how it is truly made and what it may be mixed with and is a part of a class drug known as OPIOIDS” says the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

My mother Jessica Esparza was around the use of this opioid almost every day of her life. From a young age, Jessica’s mother abused this opioid along with many other people who would come over to get high in the place we call home. These experiences Jessica remembers were going on while she was attending Mountain View high school. A high school student dealing with a drug-abusing mother is one not many could relate to at her age.

Heroin in the 70s was very easy and cheap to get “In the ‘70s, a bag of heroin -- enough to get a user high once -- cost $30 and was about 28-percent pure.” said npr.org in their story called “Heroin in America.” Many overdose deaths grew because of the low purity and just how easy it was to get overall.

Drug abuse around kids is something many wouldn’t know how to react to. Jessica represents a person who didn’t have anyone to go to explain her hardships to but managed to adapt showing kids out there living through these hard experiences to stay strong and never give up because there will always be another way to better yourself and overcome.

As Jessica’s mother continued to use heroin, her mother one day had unexpectedly passed away due to an aneurysm the summer before her senior year and previous to that her father had also passed away when she was just 10 years old. As hard as it was on Jessica an 18 year old with no adult skills and a younger brother she could’ve given up and used this hardship as an excuse but she didn’t, she adapted and overcame and did what she needed to do for her and her brother. As a teen who lived through it all at such a young age there was no one for her to relate to about her life which made it harder for her because she felt as if she never got to live a normal childhood like the many other kids.

“My mother liked to smoke cigarettes after she would shoot up,” said Jessica. In the house, Jessica would see this and know what she needed to do and because of this, her mother would nod off with a lit cigarette in her hand. “Yeah, my mom would leave tons of burnt hold or marks on the couch from smoking a cig after she would shoot up,” Jessica says, and as a child already having to see your mother abuse heroin which had a huge impact on Jessica but now seeing that Jessia was also pretty much in charge of putting the fires out that would start on the couch because of her mother.

As Jessica’s senior year of high school started, she and her brother started to look for jobs. The adulting Jessica was experiencing made it much easier to work. “I was an

adult before anyone of the other kids,” said Jessica. Jessica continued with high school “Praying and believing in the Lord and Jesus Christ helped me push through,” said Jessica. To make sure that she would graduate for her mother while also working part-time right after school with her brother to keep providing for the both of them.

Jessica was really on her own and because of this, she adapted to her life where she had no idea how to do “adult” things like how to pay bills, do laundry, or grocery shop. “It was difficult...it was really hard because we had no parents,” said Jessica. Jessica also mentioned that she had a grandma who was there for them but could only do so much for them as she was in her late 80s. They also had received sole secured benefits to help get by with rent and food.

But as you become an adult it comes with many responsibilities and Jessica found that out very quickly.

“Laundry,” Jessica said a responsibility that she didn’t know how to do at all. Everyone knew what laundry was but no one at her age was doing it because well usually their parents would take care of it for them. On her own, Jessica had to learn how to clean her dirty clothes so she could wear them for the next week or two.

“It was difficult at first to understand,” Jessica said. “I wasn’t sure what went where or what products to use.”

After a few failed attempts of doing laundry and figuring out how it works, Jessica was finally able to go to the laundry room with confidence. As she walked in people, laundry detergent, bleach, and machines rattling were around her. She put her basket down with the clothes and got to work she put the whites in a separate machine and the colored in another machine and for the first time, Jessica didn’t turn her whites into red or pink.

“I was so happy to know that I did it right for the first time without help it made me feel like I was grown up,” Jessica said. She finished up and let the clothes dry and went home. It was Jessica’s start at her many responsibilities that she needed to learn

how to do but it was also hard on Jessica because her mother never got to teach her how to prepare for adulthood. “Like something was missing,” Jessica said.

Jessica lived a life many couldn’t think to imagine about ever in their life. The effect it had on her mentally really hurt her. But as I look back on my interview I see that she overcame so much as she grew up by taking care of her younger brother, dealing with a death, no parents, seeing drugs be abuse, and many more all before the age of 18 is something no kid should have to go through and 22 years later my mother is still strong, caring, loving, and supportive. Jessica is currently unemployed but hopes that her job gets back up and running so that she can continue being a catering director but until then she hopes to one day have created her own successful business and continue to support her kids and family to the fullest. Despite how hard it was to overcome these hardships Jessica believes that “you know don’t give up like life is crazy you know things happen but we are all built to accept, adapt, and overcome and if you can do that you can thrive.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Noah Esparza is a part of the class of 2022 at Mountain View High School and a Design student at Freestyle Academy. He grew up with a passion for fashion, learing how to at detail to clothing.

Through his teenage years, Noah likes to collect clothing, add details to his clothes, and create clothing designs. He uses his love for fashion to help create even more designs and grow his love for details in clothing.