GOD’S PERFECT DESIGN With You In Mind Why Do Spouses Cheat? IT DOESN’T HAVE TO HAPPEN!
Did you know?
ENDOMETRIOSIS... THE SILENT CAUSE OF INFERTILITY
Youth Corner with Jekalyn Carr
Young, Gifted, Saved & Happy SINGLE & WAITING What to do in the meantime!
From the Desk of the Publisher Ladies It’s Time to Pencil YOU on Your Schedule! Ever found yourself in a position where you were tired of the same ole same ole? Whether it is going to work, coming home, feeding the kids, going to church services, operating in ministry, running your business; etc sometimes as women we just need a break and time alone to tend to our own needs. So often as women either as single mothers, women, or married we tend to cater so much to the needs of others and we have our schedules filled with empowering others, meeting their needs, making sure the kids get to practice, making sure your husband’s clothes are ironed for work the next morning, that we are left exhausted, empty and in need of some real ME TIME! I want to encourage you in 2013 while you are pursuing purpose, and operating in the many hats we so often wear, pencil YOU in on your calendar. Even if you have to begin with small fifteen minute breaks of just you, yourself and more of you! I’m sure you know Beyonce’s song: “Me, Myself & I”? May sound a little selfish at first but trust me stealing away and having that alone time will not only rejuvenate your spirit but it will also prevent you having a major break down. Ladies it is time out for us pretending to be superwoman for even Clark Kent had to go and be replenished! There is indeed a demand on us as women to be so many things to so many people but I am telling you it is ok to say no, not today! Today, I am focusing on _____ (plug your name in here). Today, I am going to enjoy my favorite book. Today I am going to go and enjoy a movie all by myself! Or today, I am going shopping with the ladies.
fulfilled lives while we are left feeling empty, overwhelmed and burnt out! So, today here are three things I want you to practice doing weekly: 1. Spend at least 15 minutes alone daily (no kids, no husband, no Fb, no Twitter, and absolutely no texting; matter of fact, power your phone OFF!) 2.
Identify one thing you absolutely love and begin to pencil that in on your schedule per week (For example: I love books therefore, Barnes & Noble is my favorite place to be as it relates to getting ideas for the magazine, expanding my knowledge; etc. I pencil in on my schedule to make sure I go there at least once a week as an outlet for me). Identify one thing you can eliminate from your schedule and replace it with prayer and meditation. It is indeed time to live again and God must no longer be on the back burner!
This year be determined to live a purpose filled life however, in the midst of saving the world don’t lose who you are in the process. Live. Laugh. Love & most importantly always make time for yourself by penciling YOU in on your schedule!
“I want to encourage you in 2013 while you are pursuing purpose, and operating in the many hats we so often wear, pencil YOU in on your calendar.”
March 2013 07 | Inspiration
INSPIRING YOUR TOTAL BEING
When Temptation is Staring You in the Face Infidelity: Why Do Spouses Cheat?
08 | Relationships
GOD’S PERFECT RELATIONSHIP DESIGN WITH YOU IN MIND Building Relationships that Last Until the End of Time.
10 | FEATURED STORY KIM BROOKS
How to Date and Stay Saved...Learning to Keep Yourself While God Prepares You for Your Mate
14 | Beauty & Fashion
MARCH INTO SPRING, WHY WEAR MAKE-UP?
See the Latest Fashion Trends and Learn the Importance of Wearing Make-up.
18 | Sista Sense
WOMEN OF STANDARD MAGAZINE COVERS THE SISTA SENSE CONFERNCE.
19 | Youth Corner
JEKALYN CARR TALKS ABOUT BEING YOUNG, GIFTED, SAVED, AND HAPPY
Being Satisfied with Who God Made You and Protecting Your Gift!
24 | Health
DID YOU KNOW?
Endometriosis, the Silent Infertility Killer! The Mystery Behind Ovarian Cysts
Next Month’s Feature Story... Sarah Jakes
On the Cover Kim Brooks is the Black Expressions bestselling author of the novel, He’s Fine...but is He Saved? its highly acclaimed sequel, He’s Saved...but is He For Real? and non-fiction books, The Little Black Survival Book for Single Saints and her latest release, How To Date and Stay Saved.
It can’t be about everyone else all the time because if it is we will experience an unbalance in our lives and we will help others live F E B R U A RY 2 0 1 3
| M A RWCO M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G 3 H 2 0 1 3 | W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G 3
Carla Cannon CEO/FOUNDER STAFF
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Carla Cannon MANAGING EDITOR Lita P. Ward ASSISTANT EDITOR Tenita Johnson
...For More News, Updates, and discussions on How to Better Equip and Empower Women of Standard
ADMINISTRATOR Rhonda Harper FINANCE EXECUTIVE Felicia C. Hagans CREATIVE DIRECTOR Ja’main Freeman
WHERE TO FIND US!
isit womenofstandard.org to order your personal copy of this publication as well as subscribe to receive them monthly! Bulk orders are also available, for more information email us at: carla@womenofstandard. org.
ur Mission is to empower, educate & inspire global women to live victorious lives while leading them into their destiny. We not only focus on mainstream artists but anyone who is making a difference in their community. To be featured please email us at carla@ womenofstandard.org
Elizabeth White (Grand Rapids, MI)
Nanette Floyd Patterson
Craig Damon & Sherry Sanders
Dr. Grace Nichols
(Fort Lauderdale, FL)
Jekalyn Carr (West Memphis, AR)
Lorneka Joseph (Miami, FL)
I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the month of March is declared worldwide as “Women’s History Month” where women are honored and paid tribute for their contributions to our society. While women such as Wilma Rudolph, 1960’s Olympic gold medalist and Condoleeza Rice, a woman of many firsts, i.e. first woman to serve as provost of Stanford University and first black woman to be appointed as the National Security Adviser, are recognizable to us as historical women, there are women we know personally who have made greater impacts on our lives. Moreover, YOU have made great impacts on others as well. For the month of March and thereafter, celebrate important women in your life, simply by letting them know how much they mean to you and how much they are appreciated. If I started naming names, two things would happen: (1) this article would be too long for printing and (2) I would unintentionally omit someone. But for the record, I must pause and celebrate my mothers, Ms. Cecilia Annette Purvis and Mrs. Glendora R. Lee. Without them, I would not be where and who I am today. They have seen the good, the bad and the ugly; fought for me, resuscitated me and pushed me when the only thing I wanted to do was give up. So sincerely, “thank you” for the gift of life, love and the courage to live. Secondly, ladies, many of us do not appreciate the power or influence we have on the inside of us. We applaud everyone else, but what about celebrating you? How many times has someone said to you, “Thanks for your
words of encouragement” or “You just do not know how you have blessed me?” Whether it is the fact of raising a child alone, finishing school, getting a job promotion or losing a few pounds, you should take the time to reward your accomplishments. Take the time to treat yourself and celebrate just how far you have come. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff, but you do need to celebrate it. As women, it is part of our nature to put everyone else’s needs first because we believe the “good” woman is supposed to do that. Well it is absolutely okay to put yourself first sometimes; furthermore it is essential for your well-being. How can you take care of others or work when you are exhausted, stressed out or find yourself functioning on auto-pilot? When you are on auto-pilot, technically you are only doing things by habit and half of them are no longer enjoyable or fulfilling. You are doing them because in your mind, they have to be done and you have not realized yet that if you do not do them, someone else will!
“Take the time to treat yourself and celebrate just how far you have come.”
In this life, we have a lot of things and people pulling on us daily. Take a moment and celebrate the life God has given you by taking yourself to dinner or buying yourself a reasonable gift. Why not make Women’s History Month personal?
Lita Ward Managing Editor
Let’s Connect Today! Email: Litapward@womenofstandard.org
Facebook: facebook.com/LitaPWard Twitter: @thkful2bhiz MARCH 2013
W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G 5
REVEALING THE ESTHER WITHIN
When temptation is staring you in the face…
Tell Us Your Story! Do you have a story or testimony you would like to share in relation to how you overcame and transformed your pain into power? If so, we would love to hear it! Women of Standard is committed to empowering women, and sharing wisdom on how to overcome or cope with everyday issues which may not be often spoken of. Our goal and mission is to empower women, motivate them and help re-position them on their path to purpose! Email your story to us at: email@example.com. Please include your contact information along with photos of yourself and you may be chosen as our next feature! STAY CONNECTED: Sign up for our FREE newsletter at: www.womenofstandard.org CONNECT WITH OUR PUBLISHER, CARLA CANNON at www.facebook.com/womenofstandard “Like” us on Facebook at: www.facebook.com/wosmagazine
“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” (Matthew 6:13) As women, we at times get lonely, specifically single women. We want a mate, or at least we think we do. However, in all actuality, what we are missing and desiring is a love that is so deep that it keeps us from doing wrong and following our fleshy desires. Ladies, it is alright to feel lonely sometimes, as long as we remember that we are not alone. We have to learn to pull from our greater source--Jesus! Being a young lady who is on fire for Christ, there are certain areas that I am learning to be super strong in, particularly my love life. I promised myself and God that I would not settle for anything less than God’s best for me. Now, let’s be realistic. I am capable of this promise by all means, yet avoiding this area of my life seemed easier for me…until temptation stared me right in the face!
the Bible, using the Bible to his benefit, but yet not following after Jesus. He was everything a woman could ask for, EXCEPT his life was contrary to the Bible! “Oh, but it can’t be that bad, he knows the Bible, he grew up in the church, that should be enough, we could make this work,” is what my mind began to express. “It wouldn’t hurt to hang out with him,” I thought. But, “Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world!” (1 John 4:4) Prayer is our best friend and we must utilize our weapon. However, we must know that life is all about choices. I went and got into my prayer closet; I sought out wisdom from my spirit-filled friends and loved ones, specifically my mom. They spoke life into me, and they reminded me of my worth and of the promises of God. God will withhold NO good thing from those who do what is right. (Psalm 84:11)
He was 6’2”, full of charisma, handsome, and charming. He knew how to dress, he knew how to impress, but yet he was not confessing to be a baptized believer of Jesus Christ. As a matter of fact, he was so bold to the point of knowing
Therefore, let me encourage you to remain faithful to the promises of God. Do not wavier. He loves and wants the best for us. Keep a support system around you. Do not let go of prayer. It is a powerful weapon. Ask yourself
this question: Am I truly ready? Do not let people tell you that you have to help God or that you shouldn’t set your standards too high. Continue to seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these other things shall be added unto us! (Matthew 6:33) Temptation will come; loneliness will come. But please remember, although we may get lonely, we are NEVER alone!
“Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world!”
Connect with Elizabeth!
W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G 7
Relationship Design with You in Mind! BY: DR. GRACE NICHOLS
God created both male and female for relationships. As we move through life and interact with others, we don’t experience the same level of relationships with everyone we know. Sometimes, relationships just happen, such as being drawn to someone who enjoys the same lifestyle or hobby as you enjoy. Many factors determine the different levels of relationships we experience with the people in our lives. Most relationships take time to grow and develop. Some relationships develop as result of same interest, shared hurts, or shared joys. Relationships that last are built on emotional support for each other. My marital relationship with my husband would never grow deeper if we did not have an emotional bond. One that tied our soul, dreams, hopes and aspirations together and placed us on the same path of this journey through life. Our marriage is fulfilled because we are emotionally connected. Our relationship took twenty years to get to the emotional level of its current state, so allow your relationship time to grow and develop. When you make a covenant relationship, make it for life and stay focused so that the storms of life won’t discourage you. It is easy to get in and out of relationships but if you ever want to experience fulfillment in life it’s the storms that make your relationship stronger. I feel safe in my relationship when I can reveal my thoughts and my feelings. 8 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all time, and a brother is born for adversity”. The book of Proverbs speaks on relationships and gives practical principles for everyday life. It addresses issues such as the fleeting nature of friendship built on the external values that we pursue today, such as power, wealth or position.
Our relationship journey continues in next month’s issue as we look at how we can make our friendships last for a lifetime.
Infidelity: Why Do Spouses Cheat? By Sonja Williams
Infidelity is a subject that has come to the forefront of our media lately. We are seeing an increased number of pastors, as well as many pastors’ wives, falling into the trap of infidelity. Many of you may be thinking why is there an increase of infidelity among pastors and their wives?
Relationships should be built with friends who can share your vision, ideas, and philosophies; friends with whom you can grow intellectually. Friends should not only be able to stand by your side but also stand apart with an objective view. They should feel free to not side with you when you are in the wrong. A friend should take time to know you inside and out and appreciate your differences. A friend should be loyal and trustworthy. Loyalty requires that your friend sticks with you no matter what.
Proverbs 19:4 NASB, says, Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man’s friend deserts him. Take time to invest in others and watch your life become more enriched and fulfilled. What you do today will determine the quality of your relationships tomorrow. Live your life to the fullest and treasure your friendships.
The Far Above Woman
For more information on relationships, purchase a copy of “No More Drama: Relationships” or “The Relationship Battleplan” by Dr. Grace Nichols and Pastor Wil Nichols. Visit Victorious Books and More at www.victoriouspraise.org . Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Working in ministry is very demanding and stressful on a couple. Often, priorities are not where they should be and usually the spouse is the very priority that gets pushed down the list. I’m sure you’ve heard it said, “God first!” Yes that’s true you should put Him first. But you then need to turn your devotion and attention to your spouse first and your children next so that their needs are being met and no one is feeling neglected. Infidelity happens frequently when spouses turn away from each other emotionally. Pastors and their wives are guilty of doing this simply because it makes it easier to deal with the neglect. Secondly, it happens because sexual needs are not being met by one or both spouses. Just remember, if you don’t
meet his or her needs, someone else will! Thirdly, infidelity happens because of inappropriate relationships with a member of the opposite sex. If you are having problems in your marriage, be careful with whom you share your information. Everyone that seems to be there for a listening ear oftentimes becomes more than just a listening ear. Don’t place yourself in a situation you may regret later. Women of God, if you are a victim or a participant of infidelity, take some time to examine yourself and search why it happened and how you contributed to what happened. It is simple ladies. If you were a victim, identify where you were falling short in your marriage and do your part to change it. Then take the needed time to work on your marriage through counseling. Just make sure that forgiveness is a part of the process. You can’t move on until you forgive. But if you were the unfaithful spouse, you also need to identify why you cheated. If your spouse forgives and decides to restore the marriage, then be honest and reveal to them why. Both cases
will require healing! Things will never be the same, but restoration can happen! Infidelity has become a very large part of our society, but it doesn’t have to be in your marriage. When we have our priorities in perspective, the number of marriages experiencing infidelity will decrease! Your spouse should be the top priority in your life next to God and if they’re not, you’re in danger of falling into the infidelity trap!
Connect with Sonja! Email: Swilliams39@live.com MARCH 2013
W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G 9
Q Tell us, what inspired you to write a book of this caliber?
Q Share with us the benefits of waiting and saving yourself.
I call it a “response” book. I receive a lot of emails from different individuals who are single that say, “I love God and I’m saved, but what do I do when my hormones are raging?” I would have people come up to me after I ministered, who would be open and honest about their desires. Because once you get saved, your spirit is saved, but those desires don’t go away and we don’t want them to! God put those feelings there so we can celebrate what I like to call oneness with our spouse. When you are with your spouse, each time you have sex should be a celebration. Now while you’re single, you want to keep the flesh under control and celebrate your oneness with God. That’s what I call the season of singleness, which is developing, cultivating and building your relationship with God. This book is in response to the many singles that wanted to know how to live saved while being single, as well as how dating should look in a Christian’s life. I’m really excited because it’s a response to a need and of course God gave me the words and the scriptures for the book, while using some of my personal experiences as well.
There are tons of benefits and I love it! One of the benefits is having a drama-free, stress-free relationship life. I have a chapter in the book entitled It’s Complicated that talks about when you make exceptions to the equations, you begin to get confused and start acting a little crazy and you don’t know why. Well, it’s because you have opened that Pandora’s Box. When you’re abstinent, you’re drama free. You aren’t scared when you go to the doctor and wondering if you’ve caught an STD, and that by itself is stress free! Another benefit in dating relationships is you develop a deeper bond with the person you’re dating when you’re not focusing on the physical. You begin to bond on an emotional level in which, I believe, is a deeper connection. On top of that, a lot of men will respect you more when you have standards. A man actually told me that being abstinent gives value to a woman. It’s easy to say I’m just going to go out and get any guy. But it’s a choice and I choose to wait because I know God has something greater in store for me. Even for those women who have had sex, you can make the choice not to until marriage because it’s never too late.
Q When did the book actually come out? It was released in February of 2010 on purpose around Valentine’s Day. Around that time as singles, we get reminded of our status and that’s when we need encouragement the most.
Q That’s awesome because the book is so relevant, even now! Your testimony to me is amazing! You are 30 plus and still saving yourself for your husband. Can you tell us about that?
Brooks About Our Feature Award-winning author, licensed minister, national speaker and songwriter, Kim Brooks, is the founder of Kim Brooks Ministries International and Driven Enterprises, LLC headquartered in her hometown of Detroit, MI Kim is the Black Expressions bestselling author of the novel, He’s Fine...but is He Saved? its highly acclaimed sequel, He’s Saved...but is He For Real? and non-fiction books, The Little Black Survival Book for Single Saints and her latest release, How To Date and Stay Saved. Kim has been a guest columnist for Gospel Today Magazine and featured on The Word Network and she publishes a monthly eNewsletter, The Single Heart, and an online daily devotional for single women which encourages thousands worldwide and is subscribable for free on her website, Kimontheweb.com
Let me start by saying this. I was not raised in the church. I wasn’t sheltered and my parents, ‘til this day, are Christians, but they’re not regular church attendees. It was through friends that led me to church and it was my friend who led me down the altar when I got saved after high school. In my daily devotionals, I stress so hard about connections and friendships because through that testimony of a friend, I was led to God. Once I got saved, I would see my best friend go into morning prayer every day. So, I began to go into prayer every day. I was following her as she was following Christ. With that, I didn’t immediately change because I used to club every weekend. It was through the Word I was getting on Sunday mornings that started to seep into my heart. I noticed when I went to a campus party, I began to feel convicted. It felt as though my eyes were opened and I realized that I didn’t belong there. That’s how I made the decision that I wasn’t going to club anymore, which was how I was meeting different guys. I was about twenty years old and I remember meeting a guy and this one particular night, we were at my mom’s house. We began to make out and I felt convicted, like we were doing something wrong. I felt as though I was breaking God’s heart. After I asked him to leave, I retreated to the couch and I remember I began to cry because I really felt like I hurt God. And that night, I made the decision and I told the Lord that I was going to save myself for my husband. There are many times, I joke with God and say, “Well I didn’t know I would be a virgin for this long!” But I know that it was only the grace of God that kept me because if it wasn’t for Him, I would have already flipped, dipped and dived! That’s why I believe my heart goes out to many women who want a relationship so badly to where they find it in the wrong places. Love that we crave is really in God, and He wants to be our everything!
Q I love that you said it’s never too late because many women feel as though since they’ve done it once, they should do it again. But it’s never too late to begin again; that’s powerful! I want to kind of go into your book. One of the chapters is entitled God’s Proper Order in Dating. A lot of times, especially in the African American culture, we aren’t taught how to date and we learn by trial and error. Can you share with us the proper order in dating? There isn’t a set time to do anything. If the bible doesn’t really specify it, then you have to rely on practical wisdom and the Holy Spirit. As far as the order in dating, I tell people that when someone is interested in you, we must remember that we are brothers and sisters in Christ first. I believe women often make the mistake of running with the vision; so when we think someone is interested, we start picturing ourselves in the wedding dress when we haven’t taken the time out to get to know them. Another tip in dating is you want to observe the man you’re dating to see if he has characteristics that you can see yourself respecting in the long run. Love for men is spelled r-e-s-p-e-c-t! But most of all you want to observe the God-like characteristics in the person you are pursuing as you’re collecting the data. Also, while you’re dating, you want to maintain your friendship, which is very important. Developing a friend foundation before dating and listening to what the other person is saying allows you to gain a greater knowledge of them. Also being spirit-led, because when you are led by the spirit, you will know if you need to cut things off or continue to move forward. I do mention in my book about using practical wisdom. You should date someone for a full year to observe how they respond to different situations, as well as how they may react during different seasons in their life.
Q That’s good stuff! One thing I’ve noticed about women is that we often get anxious. What’s your advice to those women who may be feeling anxious while dating? The Word says in Proverbs 4:23, “To keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life.” As single women, we have to learn how to guard (protect) our hearts because we don’t need to have our hearts open too soon to something that is not clear. When your heart is guarded, you are able to observe their actions and words more clearly, seeing if they MARCH 2013
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Is It Luck...
match each other. Because if a man is interested, he will pursue you the right way and if they don’t pursue you the way you feel they should, it’s okay because that person may not be the one for you. It’s also okay to mention expectations to the one you are dating and if those expectations are not being fulfilled, again it’s okay to let them go and you keep moving forward.
Q As far as your life right now, you seem so happy. Can you share with us your secret to being happy and maintaining your joy while being single?
Q Can You Talk for a moment on the transition from “living it up” to uplifting the
standard and sticking to it?
It first starts with a heart’s decision; a commitment. There has to be an internal commitment in order for you to stick with it. You have to make the decision and say, “Okay from this point on, I’m going to be abstinent in my relationship.” If you can’t say that and believe in yourself, then more than likely, it’s not going to happen. Once you make that decision, God will lead you and order your steps. In the book, I answered a young lady’s question in reference to asking what she is supposed to do now that she is living a life of abstinence. I let people know in the book that rather than focusing on the physical, you can be intimate with the one you are dating with your words, loving them by spending time with them, acts of kindness, and giving thoughtful gifts. I believe once people start focusing on those different things, they will be able to create a stronger bond with one another. I also believe that God will never place an expectation on us as His children if He wasn’t going to give us the power to walk it out. The main formula is staying prayed up and in God’s Word. Like Paul said, we have to die daily to ourselves, which allows you to have control over your flesh.
Q I agree completely! I also believe that it’s about perception. We must have a
mind shift from what we used to do into what we have uplifted our standard to do. I’ve even found fasting to be helpful as well. What are your thoughts? Yes Carla, you are right! Romans 12:2 says, “Be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind.” An essential part is having a mind shift or as I talk about in the book, the renovation that needs to take place. When you make the decision in your heart and in your mind, you believe and act on what you have said. Absolutely! Well it has been such a pleasure talking with you Kim! You are amazing and I’m looking forward to the next stage in your life. Kim Brooks: Awe Carla, you are a blessing! I thank you again!
“A man actually told me that being abstinent gives value to a woman.” Connect with Kim Brooks! Website: www.kimontheweb.com Twitter: @kimontheweb Facebook: www.facebook.com/kimbrooksofficialpage
or Divine Providence? By: Tarinna N. Terrell, MEd, CACII
You experience certain things in life only
Just like anybody, I have challenges and issues with different things. One thing I would say is remember who you are. You are a child and daughter of the King. You are someone who is precious in God’s sight; a person who is valuable to God. You are someone who has a worth that is so great that it’s worth the blood of Jesus. The more you know who you are, the more you are able to walk into who God has called you to be. The second thing is to remember whose you are. Because you are the child of a King, you have certain privileges. Yes, you may have some challenges. But the Word says you will have many challenges, but be of good cheer; Jesus has overcome the world! Since you know who you are and whose you are, you have the authority as a believer to go to God in Jesus’ name and pray, and it happens unto you. You are able to go boldly to the Throne of Grace, which allows you to walk in freedom of a guilt-free life! After knowing who you are and whose you are, you must know where your help comes from. I get my joy in God by lifting up holy hands and when I am worshiping Him. When you worship God, you become one with the Father, and He receives your worship like a sweet aroma. Every time that happens, you are looking inward, knowing that He is your provider. He is your redeemer and your Father. Never let your situations determine your joy. My focus is pleasing God with my life. God sustains and keeps me, and that’s what gives me the joy to move forward.
because of L.U.C.K. (Living Under Christ’s Kingdom)!
Often, there are colloquial sayings such as “You are so lucky, good luck, or the best of luck to you.” I ponder and ask is there such a thing as luck? Are our human lives governed by chance or happenstance? Will we reach our personal feats in life based off of luck? Did we survive catastrophic events in our lives because of luck? In the words of the former late night TV show host Arsenio Hall these are “things that make you go hmmmm!” Is it luck or divine providence? Ecclesiastes 1:9 says “The thing that has been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.” The Scripture suggests there is nothing new that happens in this world, which means God knows all; the good, the bad, and
the ugly! No matter what situations have transpired in your life, God knew and allowed them at His appointed time. So, was it luck you got the promotion and you weren’t qualified? Was it luck that got you out of a mangled car? Was it luck that delivered your unborn fetus to survive not having oxygen in your womb for several minutes? I suggest no! Was it luck that you delivered two children after being told by physicians you would never conceive? God created all of us and knows about each and every situation.
and kind; He looks straight past our faults and sees our needs. He has favor on us when we don’t deserve it. In that regard, I thank God for L.U.C.K.! God pours His rain on the just and the unjust; therefore, let us thank Him for allowing us to reap the benefits of L.U.C.K.! We as the body of Christ are imperfect, wayward, and sometimes ungrateful. Yet God gives us full access to His kingdom. Even in our unworthiness, we are truly blessed and fortunate to Live Under Christ’s Kingdom!
Now folks may think, “Well how is it not luck when we have choice and free will?” God created every human being and if He knows the tiny hairs on our head, He knows what choices we will make in life. He knows we will start going right and then midway switch to the left. He knows all because He even created the left. That is the majesty of an omniscient God! I propose and make a pontifical disclaimer. We do operate under L.U.C.K.; and I think it is highly beneficial we do. You experience certain things in life only because of L.U.C.K. (Living Under Christ’s Kingdom)! It is not because we are special or perfect. But it is because we benefit from L.U.C.K.! God is so merciful
Connect with Tarinna!
Website: http://www.tarinnaterrell.com MARCH 2013
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Beauty & Spring is right around the corner, and it’s time to shake off the winter blues. This beautiful season celebrates growth and new life. It also lets the world see what fantastic fashions have been hidden underneath that heavy winter coat! During this season there is still a chill in the air, and whatever garments you dawn you still want to make sure you don’t get cold. As you head out to your favorite places to shop I’m sure you’re curious to know what colors are in this spring 2013, and what clothes and makeup hues and styles you will find awaiting you. So, let’s take a look at what this spring is going to bring!
march into SPRING
*If your makeup has worn off within an hour of applying it you are not using the correct products or techniques.
With hues like Lemon Zest you will brighten the workplace and help rid the place of cold wintery feelings with bright spring colors coupled with gray.
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What does this have to do with beauty? A lot. Many women believe that being well dressed is enough. An expensive suit and great shoes and they are all set. However, being well dressed is just one side of looking great, the other side is looking after your skin and hair and using makeup. Equal attention must be devoted to these aspects in order to achieve a great look.
If you are not used to wearing makeup and feel that you will look foolish or you are not sure how to apply it, consult a beauty advisor. When makeup is used correctly your skin will look clearer, dark circles will be less apparent, your eyes will look brighter and your lips more defined. It is also important to choose colors that are suitable for you. Women with light hair and skin will look better in light shades and women who have darker hair and skin look better in dark shades.
Industry Color Tip
First Lady Michelle Obama and Ann Romney Sport Oscar de la Renta and Michael Kors, respectively.
Whether you are making a cake, building a staircase or creating a report, the end result won’t be very pleasing if you don’t complete the project completely and add the finishing touches. The cake might taste great but look uninviting without the icing, the staircase will be usable if built well but won’t attract buyers if it is not varnished or painted; and a report might have some ground-breaking information but won’t get attention if it is not put together well.
Why Wear Makeup?
For decades designers around the globe have used Pantone’s Color System to put together creative palettes and conceptual color schemes. These colors are what you will find in retail stores globally this spring. Visit Pantone.com to learn how they choose each season’s special color pallet.
The weekend is your time to relax, but you still want to look sensational whether you’re out shopping with your girls or having an afternoon lunch date. This outfit is simple to piece together, just add a pop of color.
Eyebrows Frame the Face Thick, unruly eyebrows can ruin the look of the most perfectly applied makeup. Plucking your eyebrows opens up the area around your eyes and draws attention to them. Follow the natural line of your eyebrows and only pluck the lower edge of the brow.
Always Wear Makeup When Wearing Black
Wearing black next to your face will make your skin appear pale and washed out. If you must wear black without makeup, be sure to wear a different color (such as a scarf) or accessory next to your face.
Eyeliner and Mascara Pitfalls
Whatever your age use eyeliner sparingly. Too much eyeliner overpowers the face and looks tacky. The purpose of eyeliner is to make eyelashes look fuller. To get this effect apply mascara as close to the eyelashes as possible. Avoid thick black lines.
Too much mascara will make your eyelashes stick together or thicken into blobs. To make your eyelashes look longer use an eyelash curler.
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Lack of Focus is a Hindrance to Any Vision!
“The problem is not the flow of ideas. The problem is jumping from one idea to another, before one reaches fruition.”
BY: Nanette Floyd Patterson, MA, LPC
Oftentimes, staying focus is a potential hindrance to my business and carrying out God’s work. It is something that could potentially be a problem for me every day. I realized this when I was attending a Deeper Life for Pastors and Ministers Class a couple of years ago. Apostle Elijah Forte (my spiritual leader) posed a question, “What is the biggest hindrance to your ministry?” As a person with an entrepreneurial and creative spirit, ideas flow into my mind like water coming out of a faucet. It flows continuously. So much so that sometimes I want to say, “Lord, please turn the faucet off for a minute so I can catch my breath.” I believe it is a gift that could feel like a curse if I do not take practical steps to control the flow of ideas. I could literally drown. Drowning from ideas or having too many tasks on my mind outwardly manifests into overwhelm, doubt, depression, anxiety and immobility. The problem is not the flow of ideas. The problem is jumping from one idea to another, before one reaches fruition. It is the same when one jumps from one task to another. Now, there are individuals out there who have no problem staying focused. Sometimes I say, “I wish I could be like them.” But I have to remind myself that that trait is not part of my design. In order to avoid the possible hindrances, first, I exercise my spiritual authority. I pray and ask God to give me revelation, strength, and wisdom to overcome this hindrance. I position myself to hear God’s voice on the matter by communing 16 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
(quality time) with Him and keeping a journal with me at all times to write down whatever I hear. I may write things like, “He is so faithful” or “He always comes through.” Then, based on the wisdom God reveals, I exercise my natural authority. I set “VM hours.” These are Vision Manifestation Hours. I clock in and clock out just like I would do if I was working on a job. I use a cheap kitchen timer, though. For example, if my VM hours are from 7 pm to 8 pm every Wednesday night, I set the timer to sound off in 60 minutes. During that time, I do nothing but work on the task or vision. I do not answer the phone. I do not look at TV. I do not answer the front door. I do not do anything that is not part of the vision. When I am done, I throw up my hands like Rocky did when he reached the top of the steps in the movie Rocky. Lovingly Pushing You,
Nanette Floyd Patterson, MA, LPC “The Vision Manifestation Queen”
Connect with Nanette! Email: email@example.com
Here is the Vision Manifestation formula: FAITH+FOCUS+FOLLOWTHROUGH= VISION MANIFESTATION Scripture Meditation: “Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.” (Proverbs 4:25 ESV)
Women of Standard Magazine Covers
Women of Standard: LaShanda, tell us all about Sista Sense! LaShanda Henry: I am so excited on today! Sista Sense is all about making sense of making money online. What I wanted to do with the Power Circle Conference was to bring all of my experts to one location to empower women and connect the aspiring entrepreneurs to the right resources as well as offer them an opportunity to learn one on one from these ladies. I believe strongly that the success of your business depends on the company you keep. That’s what the Power Circle is all about. My mission and goal is to bring singles into circles, get individuals connected to the right people, prevent them from being burnt out and equip them with what they need to run a successful business.
Young, Gifted, Saved and Happy By: Jekalyn Carr
PR G uru P am P and Lash erry, Focus for the Event: Money, Mindset Marketing, and Motivation anda Carla Blac H k Bu sines enry (Fo Cannon, unde s Wo r men “When you work networking, it works for you”!- LaShanda Henry Onlin of e “I truly have a passion to help birth entrepreneurs and connect
them with the right people”!
Join LaShanda Henry online at: www.bbwo.com
Dawn Fitch, Founder of Pooka Pure & Simple (Natural Bath & Body Company), cover feature for Black Enterprise Magazine in March 2012! Women of Standard: How do you recommend entrepreneurs build their brand using social media?
Dawn Fitch: I believe you must have a system. Best way to embrace social media is to find your ‘business voice’. Meaning people need to know what the top things your business will be speaking about. There should be at least 5 things you are speaking about and then build content around those 5 areas. I think people get lost as it relates to establishing what they should put on Facebook. Women of Standard: Where did the name Pooka Pure & Simple come from? Dawn Fitch: Growing up my mother called us her little “Pookalitas” and I honestly wanted to name my business that however, it wasn’t the best marketing name so we came up with Pooka Pure & Simple.
Fitch holding n and Dawn no an C la ar C oors k, Moving D her latest Boo
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Pooka Pure & Simple is a handmade bath and body company in which was established by 4 sisters whom are affectionately known to the world as the “Pookalitas”. Their focus is to nourish the skin through a unique line of high quality products and provide natural alternatives to products on the market. Learn more about Dawn Fitch and her product line at: www. pookapureandsimple.com!
You can be young, gifted, saved, and happy! There is no such thing as “I’m too young” because of the numerous examples in the Bible of leaders who started their journey at an early age. One of the youngest is Joash, who was crowned king over Israel at the age of seven years old. (2 Chronicles 24:1) When you were born, you already had a special gift placed on the inside of you by God Himself. There’s no timing on when exactly to work your gift. In my experiences, the earlier the better and the stronger your gift will become. Fact: Every gift has to be worked, monitored, and covered! It has to be worked because things just don’t happen; we can’t expect things to just drop in our laps. Just like education, if we don’t get up, go to school, apply ourselves, and learn, then we can’t expect good things to happen. This requires work and much sacrifice. Your gift must be monitored because it can easily be contaminated. The devil will plant things and people that will try to poison your mind with all kinds of nonsense. This contamination can come in different shapes, forms, and fashions. So, BEWARE! Cover your gift because Satan doesn’t want to see your gift come to fruition! The devil’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy that which is good and blessed by God. Being young, you have a powerful impact and influence that can change lives forever. That’s why it’s crucial to be covered by the Word of God, and those whom God has placed over you to bring out the best in you. With being young, gifted, saved and happy, there has to be balance. My parents taught me and my siblings that God blessed us with
twenty four hours in a day. That is plenty of time to work everything you’ve been given, such as school, friends, your relationship with God, family, visions and even yourself! Nothing has to be lacking in either area. The problem comes when we give too much time to one area and the others suffer from lack of attention. There MUST be a balance to live young, saved, and happy. The devil will try to make us, as young people feel as if living saved is boring. Remember, it is his job to paint a false picture because he’s a liar. He is incapable of telling the truth! You can still hang out, but with positive people. A lot of young people have lost their lives very early, because Satan painted a false picture that made them think and believe they had all the time in the world. Don’t be manipulated by Satan’s tricks. Young people, I plead with you today to please DO NOT put off today for tomorrow! Live this time that God has given you: Young, Gifted, Saved, and Happy!!
Connect with Jekalyn Carr Website: MyJekalynCarr.net Twitter: @JekalynCarr
ANGELIA & RODNEY MCNEIL
Rodney is the love of my life because he loves me unconditionally and he makes me feel safe in this unpredictable world. He treats me as well as my children with love and respect. I love spending time with him and I think about him all the time. He is truly my soul mate!
MAURICE & LYASHIA WEBB
As a man of God I believe it takes a strong woman to work with you in ministry. From day one of our relationship I can truly say I have my help meet! -Maurice Webb (pictured with wife: LyAsia)
BARON SAMUEL & TANYA ANGELIQUE
Baron and I are kindred spirits. We share the same vision which makes our love such a bliss. In my wildest dreams, he is my hero. In my darkest hour, he rescues me. I’m divinely favored to call him my love!
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n i p
We consider each other as the “love of one another’s life” and we are thankful to God for blessing us both abundantly with a love that has truly grown stronger over 15 years of marriage. We truly describe our love as unconditional. It’s a beautiful thing to be married to your best friend, lover, and soul mate given by God Himself which truly represents His divine favor upon one’s life!
It started with a simple yet powerful prayer: “God, You know what I want, You know what I like, but more importantly You know what I need.” That was it. And the LORD in His greatness gave me what I wanted, what I liked, and more than anything what I needed! Only God could do that. We have weathered many storms together and come out better, stronger, and more in love than day one! I feel so blessed to have him as my companion on life’s journey. I look in his eyes and can see that he doesn’t just love me, but he’s in love with me! Our marriage is solid because it’s built on the Word of God. Eleven and half years later and I’m still excited about what God has in store for our future. So much I could say about this gorgeous,wonderful, compassionate, funny (very funny), loving, anointed man of God. I love him, I cherish him, and it is an honor to be his wife!
s s e
ARNOLD PERSON & BARBARA COX
Arnold is the love of my life for many reasons, but mainly because he loves and fears the Lord. Also I believe with my whole mind, heart, and soul that he was sent to me by GOD...”special delivery.”
e c i f pS a c r i FREDDIE & CHANTEL JOHNSON
TIMOTHY & BRENAE MADDIX
e c n
Angelia and I have been married for 6 months now and I still feel like a little boy who just met his first girlfriend. She is the most adorable woman to me and makes me smile just with her kisses. I find myself motivated to become a better person when I am with her. I believe she was designed just for me even though it took us years to meet.
“LOVE is Patient... LOVE is Kind”
JERMAINE & DELL SCOTT
Jermaine is the love of my life, because he showed me what “when two become one” really means. He has shown me what true agape love really is! He is my biggest fan and cheers me on to become the best ME I can be. I thank GOD for my man of GOD, who empowers, encourages, and edifies me to the fullest! Which in turns allows me to empower, encourage and edify others!
HERB & DANIELLE CLINTON
Herb Clinton is a wonderful husband, father, provider, and mentor. He is an awesome husband because he understands my love language and acts upon my needs. When I feel frustrated or discouraged he knows exactly what to say to uplift me. He keeps me laughing and he is a fantastic snuggle buddy. I love how he keeps the children and I covered spiritually by leading daily devotionals with us. He is also an excellent provider and our family has never lacked a thing. I am madly in love with him!
AUGUSTUS & CARLA MEADOWS
Augustus - “Carla is evidence of just how much God loves me.” Carla - “Augustus, provokes me to be the woman I need to be that empowers him to be all God called him to be!” MARCH 2013
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By: Carla Cannon As single women, often we can be tempted to get discouraged while waiting on our Mr. Right to show up. Especially considering the known statistics reminding us that there are more men than women tempting us to settle for second best or falling into what I like to call the “Other woman” status. Ladies know that what God has for you is for you and whether you are approaching thirty or well seasoned, it is never too late to continue to believe the Lord to grant your everyv desire. I dare you to begin to trust again which will enable you to be prepared to love again. If the truth be told, many of us desire to be married however, we either (a) have not made room for our husbands, (b) have not had enough preparation time or (c) are not completely souled out to Jesus. I have a favorite saying that I often share with single women as I empower them not to cast their pearls into the swine (aka: settling for less than God’s best). It is: “As single women we should be so wrapped up in God that our mate has to go through God just to get to us”. You may be asking, ‘Carla what does that mean’? Well, I’m so glad you asked! That means we must be so caught up in our worship, in serving, in operating in purpose that just any kind of man won’t be able to approach us. There are three things I believe we should be doing as women of standard, women of God and most importantly if we desire a mate: 1. 2. 3.
Focus on our personal relationship with our Heavenly Father Identify and operate in our purpose Begin to prepare for our husband, make room for him, pray for him & believe God for him to show up.
I believe if we do these three things we will have less lonely spells and experience an increase in our worship. See, I have a 22 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
prayer and that is, “Lord, don’t send my husband until I am 100% content with you”. Allow Jesus to fill your heart and every void you may have in your life. Sadly, many of us are seeking a mate to come and complete us VS compliment us. There is a difference. We must know that we are complete in Jesus however, our mate should be the icing on the top and compliment our lives by being a great fit for the overall vision God has given us for our lives. So choose to enjoy life on today, write the book that has been hidden in your heart, go on a vacation with your girlfriends, launch that new business, learn a new craft; learn how to cook if you don’t already! They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach so you may want to go and purchase some Martha Stewart or Paula Deen cookbooks! Whatever you do choose to enjoy life, be patient and praise the Lord every day for your mate for he is coming but only in God’s timing!
New Book: The Power in Waiting
AVAILABLE NOW ON
The Promised Marriage GETTING BACK TO THE BASICS By: Craig & Sherry Saunders
We need to change the direction in which marriages are heading in the world. Instead of separation and divorce, we need to get back to the basics. The first basic is the covenant. We must recognize and operate in the true covenant of marriage. God is the head and center of the covenant, and husbands and wives must line up with God to honor the covenant of marriage. When the husband is in line with God, then even his wife will be at peace with him, and vice versa. (Proverbs 16:7) This is not to say that your spouse is your enemy. But all it takes is one to fall in line and be obedient to God, and the other will follow. We must learn daily how to submit our own selves first to God, and then to each other. Husbands and wives should operate in the freedom of Christ because in Christ, there is liberty. We must not insist on our own way, but seek to find God’s way. In a man’s mind, his own way is right. But this may not be the way in which God desires for you or your marriage. (Proverbs 14:12) There is freedom and uniqueness in Christ, and God has created
us as peculiar people and different from one another. We look differently, think differently, we act differently, talk differently, and we do things differently. God made us different intentionally so that we may balance each other out. It is not your job to change your spouse to be more like you. They are NOT you, nor did God design them to be you. Allow your spouse to be all that God created them to be, and pray and speak life over their shortcomings. Don’t criticize, belittle, attack, or persecute them in their weaknesses. Rather do as God does and love them into a better person. God doesn’t say, “Look what you just did!” But instead, He loves us unconditionally and is quick to believe the best in us, even in our sin. Husbands need to take their leadership position and wives need to take their supporting position. Get back to the basics of praying with each other every day. The husband’s model is Christ, and the wife’s model is the church. Husbands, love, cherish, and cover your wives. Wives, trust, follow, and respect your husbands. The Word says, “You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a
weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7) This new year 2013 is the year of Christ, love, freedom and foundation. Let’s build our foundation on Christ, His love and the freedom thereof. Watch what God will do in our marriage. Praise the Lord!
Connect with Craig & Sherry!
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Did you know?
Fact Check Nearly 5.5 million women suffer from Endometriosis
The Mystery Behind Ovarian Cysts!
ENDOMETRIOSIS That infertility is one of the top causes for 3040% of women with endometriosis? This was reported by doctors at the Cleveland Clinic. Now you are probably wondering what is endometriosis and how does it affect you. First of all, endometriosis directly affects menstruatingwomen and it can cause a plethora of unforeseen issues if not diagnosed and treated effectively. Endometriosis derives from the term “endometrium.” Every woman has an endometrium and it is a collection of cells which make up tissue that line the inside of the uterus. The uterus is very important for mothers because it is where a mother carries her baby. The problem that occurs with endometriosis is that tissue begins to grow outside of the uterus in other places. When something grows or lives out of place, healthcare professionals refer to the term as it being ectopic- which means out of place. So how can a woman identify if she has endometriosis? Endometriosis can cause painful cramps, abdominal pain, infertility, painful sexual intercourse and heavy periods. The subject of endometriosis is very familiar to me because I was diagnosed with this condition in 2007. The symptoms of abdominal pain and painful cramps were a norm until I decided to visit a doctor. Now, what is relieving about being diagnosed with endometriosis is that it is a condition that can be treated and not a terminal illness. Like any other diagnosis, there is a psychological burden and attachment placed on a human being. 24 W O M E N O F S TA N D A R D . O R G
Based on statistics from the Center for Disease Control (CDC), endometriosis mostly affects African-American women. Unfortunately, there are not enough women reporting their symptoms to their gynecologists and this makes it difficult for investigators and scientists to receive funding to further investigate this condition. So if you believe that you or a friend may be suffering from endometriosis, it is highly recommended that you visit a local physician immediately. As of today, there is no cure for endometriosis but there are treatment options available. Treatment options available include pain medications, hormonal therapy (oral contraceptives), in vitro fertilization (IVF), surgery or a procedure called laparoscopy. Based on the severity of symptoms, the idea of combination therapy may be a topic of discussion after speaking with your local physician. Endometriosis can affect any woman at any given time during her years of menstruating but when it begins to affect daily living, this is a call for immediate attention. Medicine has advanced in so many ways and you do not have to let a condition or disease control your life. This month, we at Women of Standard/ Men of Standard magazine would like to help you become aware of endometriosis. Help spread the word to every woman you know to go and get checked for endometriosis. To women all around the world, do not let the fear of endometriosis cause you to live out of place with your health.
Most women’s health issues are surrounded by the blessing of being who we are, women! It is the simple fact that our reproductive systems bring forth new nations; inhabiting the earth astoundingly with doctors, lawyers and visionaries. Ovarian cysts are one topic that has been long talked about, yet unless you or someone close to you has had this experience, you may not fully understand what they are. Well, today we’re going to get a full understanding and awareness. Sometimes our loving physicians tend to speak to us in their medical school lingo and fail to break things down to us in our language.
Connect wih Lorneka! Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
References United States. Cleveland Clinic. Facts about Endometriosis. Print. <http://my.clevelandclinic.org/ disorders/endometriosis/hic_facts_ about_endometriosis.asp&xgt;.
Ovarian cysts are closed, sac-like structures within an ovary that contain a liquid, gaseous, or semisolid substance, which can form for numerous reasons. The most common type is a follicular cyst, which results from the growth of a follicle. A follicle is the normal fluid-filled sac that contains an egg. Follicular cysts form when the follicle grows larger than normal during the menstrual cycle and does not open to release the egg. Usually, follicular cysts resolve spontaneously over the course of days to months. Cysts can contain blood
(hemorrhagic cysts) from injury or leakage of tiny blood vessels into the egg sac. Both benign and malignant tumors of the ovary may also contain cysts. Furthermore, the condition known as polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) is characterized by the presence of multiple cysts within both ovaries. PCOS is associated with a number of hormonal problems and is the most common cause of infertility in women. Ovarian cysts usually do not have symptoms. Women don’t often ever know they have one unless the cysts rupture. However, here are some symptoms that have been experienced by those with cysts; pelvic pain, irregular periods, pain during sex, nausea/vomiting, pain while urinating, pain during a bowel movement, infertility and weight gain. Most ovarian cysts will go away without treatment, but medicines are used to assist to alleviate the pain. If the cysts are causing complications, they can be surgically removed. Okay ladies, now we have a greater understanding of ovarian cysts. You are now empowered to recognize, comprehend and even help another sister who may have this condition.
For overall health, drink water, take your vitamins, increase your fruits and vegetables, and get plenty of exercise and sleep. We have to keep ourselves fit! For more information on ovarian cysts visit your personal physician, local health department or check out one of the links below. Remember; stay prayerful, powerful and productive.
Connect with Lutricia! Email: email@example.com http://zaidenjace.hubpages.com/hub/Ovarian-Cysts-Facts http://www.medicinenet.com/ovarian_cysts/article.htm
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Women of Standard Magazine covers
Global Peace Inaugural Ball
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