galerie gic la pæmînt, iarbæ, pisici, polen, dar cel mai ræu îmi face floarea de mesteacæn. Este o pacoste. Suedia este plinæ de mesteceni. Trebuie sæ iei niøte medicamente care, de fapt, te moleøesc. Ar trebui sæ fac un tratament sau sæ-mi fac un vaccin, dar mereu uit, pentru cæ exact din prima zi în care alergia a dispærut øi mæ simt bine din nou, am uitat tot ce a fost. De obicei, mæ fline cam douæ luni, însæ doar una este rea de tot. Îmi dau cu tot felul de spray-uri în gît, iau pastile, pentru cæ altfel nu pot dormi din cauza crizelor de tuse. Uneori tuøesc pînæ vomit. Am sæ dau zilele astea un telefon la policlinicæ, sæ întîlnesc un medic, poate îmi face o injecflie øi scap anul æsta de chinuri. Aøa spun în fiecare an.
many things I know, which I heard elsewhere, at work, on TV, in the papers, which, in fact, I never used to present myself as an artist. Maybe I was embarrassed or lazy. You can’t just show up holding your portfolio under your arm, raise your eyebrow, look your interlocutor in the eyes, unbeatable confident, and start selling yourself like a commercial traveler. The course is held by two guys; one of them teaches you how to create a digital presentation on a CD-ROM, the other one is responsible for PR. Tomorrow we shall meet a “guru”, who has “wrapped” a lot of companies here, in Sweden. I have to admit I’m curious about it.
Am început sæ desenez. Fac niøte schifle pentru nu øtiu ce. M-a bîntuit de multæ vreme o poftæ de desen øi de picturæ. Cred cæ mæ gîndesc la desenele astea de 4–5 ani, poate øi mai mult. Nu øtiu exact ce am sæ fac sau cum øi unde am sæ ajung, dar øtiu cæ am poftæ sæ desenez. De 8 ani n-am mai desenat. Desenez prost. M-am îndrægostit de pictorii prerafaelifli øi, în special, de Ofelia lui Sir John Everett Millais, care chiar mæ obsedeazæ. Nu pot sæ spun exact de ce, dar în acest moment lucrarea asta îmi ocupæ o mare parte din gînduri. Îmi stæ acolo lipitæ. Trebuie s-o væd pe viu. Am sæ mæ duc la Londra s-o væd. Nu pot sæ spun cæ sînt interesat de poveste, cel puflin pînæ acum n-am fost. Îmi place pictura asta øi trebuie s-o væd cît mai repede.
It’s snowing like hell outside. I like the snow a lot, it comforts me. Nevertheless, I can’t wait for the spring. Spring is the season I suffer the most. It’s simply not fair. Just when I’m supposed to revive, after a long and often boring winter, I get allergic. I am allergic to dust, grass, cats, pollen, but the birch flower hurts me the most. It’s a pain in the ass. Sweden is full of birches. One has to take some drugs, which really make you drowsy. I should treat myself or get myself vaccinated, but I always forget, because the first day the allergy is gone and I feel good again, I forget everything that happened. It usually lasts two months, of which one is the worst. I use all kinds of neck-sprays, I take pills, otherwise I can’t fall asleep because of the coughing attacks. Sometimes I cough until I throw up. One of these days I’m going to call up the polyclinic, to see a doctor; maybe he’ll give me a shot to get rid off pain this year. I say this every year.
Iar ninge. Mæ simt în siguranflæ cînd ninge. Trebuie sæ fac de mîncare. Am poftæ de mæmæligæ, iar asta îi place øi lui Iancu. Iona trebuie sæ vinæ de la øcoalæ øi dupæ aia se duce la Kuki, la atelier, sæ-l învefle sæ ciocæneascæ metalul. Vrea sæ facæ un medalion din tablæ. Eu am sæ merg cu Iancu la un patinoar, aici, în Vällingby. N-am niciun chef de aøa ceva, dar trebuie sæ fiu un tatæ cumsecade. Am desenat din nou. A fost ziua mea. N-am avut invitafli. Nu mæ mai bucur de mult cînd este ziua mea. Nici mæcar nu mai înfleleg de ce trebuie sæ te bucuri atunci cînd practic devii mai bætrîn cu un an. Din acelaøi motiv, Anul Nou, revelionul mæ terminæ. Este cea mai tîmpitæ zi din an. Mæ deprimæ exuberanfla mulflimii. Mæ întreb de ce se bucuræ lumea sau, mai bine zis, de ce trebuie sæ se manifeste aøa. Tocmai am intrat în casæ. Am fost cu Iancu la un minipatinoar. Nu prea s-a omorît cu patinatul, dar ne-am jucat frumos. S-a aruncat øi s-a tævælit prin toatæ zæpada. Cînd am intrat în casæ, Iancu era ud pînæ la chilofli, dar era fericit. Mîine mergem din nou, dar de data asta îl luæm øi pe Iona. Astæzi a nins iaræøi toatæ ziua. Cred cæ niciodatæ nu a nins aøa de mult. Nu este vorba de cantitate, ci de perioada de timp. Ninge de atîta timp, dar stratul de zæpadæ nu este totuøi prea mare. fiin minte cæ în primii ani era zæpadæ doar douæ, trei zile, maximum o sæptæmînæ. Eram stupefiat, pentru cæ îmi imaginam cæ aici voi gæsi zæpezi veønice, cæ voi învæfla sæ schiez øi sæ patinez, dar în 12 ani am schiat doar de douæ ori, iar de patine nici nu s-a pus problema. Îmi tot vin pe e-mail reclame la Viagra øi la diferite produse electronice. Este foarte iritant. Îmi controlez e-mailul de zeci de ori pe zi. Sînt dependent de internet.
I started to draw. I’m making some kind of sketches. I have been haunted for sometime by an urge to paint and draw. I must be thinking of these drawings for 4–5 years, maybe more. I don’t exactly know what I am going to do, how or what I am heading for, but I know I feel like drawing. I haven’t drawn for 8 years. I’m a bad drawer. I fell in love with the pre-Raphaelite painters and especially with Sir John Everett Millais’ Ophelia, which I am obsessed with. I can’t say for sure why, but right now this work is in a lot of my thoughts. It sticks in there. I must see it for real. I will go to London to see it. I can’t say I’m interested in its story, at least not so far. I like this painting and I have to see it as soon as possible. It’s snowing again. I feel safe when it snows. I have to cook. I feel like eating some mæmæligæ and Iancu likes it, too. Iona has to return from school and after that he is going to Kuki’s studio, to learn how to knock the iron. He wants to make an iron plate medallion. I’m taking Iancu to a skating rink here, in Vällingby. I don’t feel like it at all, but I have to be a nice father. I drew again. It was my birthday. I didn’t have any guests. It’s long since I felt happy for my birthday. I don’t even understand anymore why you have to be happy, when you practically get older with a year. For the same reason, The New Year’s Eve brings me down. It’s the silliest day in the year. The exuberance of the crowd depresses me. I wonder why are the people happy or why do they have to show it like this.
N-am fost la patinoar, aøa cum mi-am propus. Ieri am fost cu Kuki la IKEA, sæ cumpæræm niøte chestii pentru casæ øi am trecut øi pe la El Giganten, sæ caut o maøinæ de tuns. Deøi trec relativ des prin magazinele de electronicæ, de unde îmi cumpær CD-uri sau DVD-uri, totuøi la restul produselor nu mæ uit. Ieri am stat mult sæ mæ uit øi recunosc cæ am avut un øoc sæ descopær cît de mult s-au transformat produsele electronice, în special camerele foto digitale øi telefoanele. Toate sînt minuscule, plate øi parcæ se agaflæ de mîna ta. Îfli spun „cumpæræ-mæ, cumpæræ-mæ…“. Abia am putut sæ plec de acolo doar cu o maøinæ de tuns în mînæ. Îmi venea sæ cumpær lucruri de zeci de mii de coroane. A sunat telefonul øi m-au întrebat dacæ vreau sæ mæ abonez la un ziar, la Dagens Nyheter. Le-am spus cæ nu. Trebuie sæ fac de mîncare. Iona ar trebui sæ vinæ de la øcoalæ øi nu este nimic de mîncare. Iancu doarme în camera lui. N-a fost la grædiniflæ de trei zile. A avut temperaturæ øi tuøeøte. Astæzi, cînd a strænutat, i-a curs sînge din nas. Nici nu prea are poftæ de mîncare. I-am stors patru portocale øi a mîncat douæ felii de pîine cu miere. Nu øtiu ce sæ fac de mîncare. A, era sæ uit. Am scos de dimineaflæ niøte foietaj, din care vreau sæ fac plæcintæ cu mere. M-a sunat Iona øi mi-a spus cæ este la Bauan. I-am spus sæ vinæ la 5. Am descærcat de pe net, în ultimele zile, o græmadæ de muzicæ øi filme. M-am sæturat de tot ce aveam prin casæ øi am fæcut o nouæ „capturæ“. De data asta, am descærcat mai ales muzicæ clasicæ, Mozart & comp. Am mai descærcat øi niøte Cassavettes øi Antonioni; aveam chef de
We just entered the house. I took Iancu to a mini skating rink. He didn’t care much for skating, but we played nicely. He threw himself in the snow and wallowed in it. When we entered the house, Iancu was wet from tip to toe, but he was happy. Tomorrow we will go again, but this time we are taking Iona with us. Today it snowed all day again. I guess it snowed more than ever. I’m not talking about quantity, but about the period of time. It snows for so long, but the snow layer is not too thick. I remember that in the first years, the snow lasted for two or three days, maybe one week. I was shocked, because I imagined finding everlasting snows here, that I shall learn how to ski and skate, but in 12 years I’ve only skied twice; as about skating, no way. I keep receiving advertisements for Viagra and other electronic products on my e-mail. It’s very annoying. I check my e-mail tens of times a day. I’m addicted to the internet. We didn’t go to the skating rink, although we planned to. Yesterday I was with Kuki at IKEA to buy some things for the house and stopped at El Giganten, to look for a hair clipper. Although I’m a regular client of the electronics stores, where I buy CDs any DVDs, I don’t care for the other products. Yesterday I spent much time watching, and I must admit that I was shocked to see how much the electronics have changed, especially the digital photo cameras and the telephones. They are all tiny, flat and they seem to grab you by the hand saying: “buy me,
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