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CONTENTS // APRIL 23-29, 2014 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 4

EDITOR’S NOTE THE WAR IS OVER

E 19

6 MAIL NEWS FIGHTIN’ WORDS COVER STORY

5 6 8 11

OUR PICKS MUSIC THE KNIFE MOVIES

16 18 24 27

MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS DINING BITE-SIZED

27 ASTROLOGY I SAW U CROSSWORD BACKPAGE

30 32 33 34

36 38 38 39

Cover Design: Shan Stumpf PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / ext. 111

EDITORIAL INTERN • Travis Crawford VIDEOGRAPHER • Doug Lewis

EDITORIAL

DESIGN

EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • David Johnson djohnson@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman seastman@folioweekly.com Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, Daniel A. Brown, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Nicholas Garnett, Claire Goforth, Janet Harper, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Amanda Long, Heather Lovejoy, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Merl Reagle, Scott Renshaw, Carley Robinson, Chuck Shepherd, Melody Taylor and Abigail Wright

ART DIRECTOR • Shan Stumpf sstumpf@folioweekly.com / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Katarina Lubet klubet@folioweekly.com / ext. 117 JUNIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Kim Collier kcollier@folioweekly.com / ext. 117 PHOTOGRAPHER • Dennis Ho dho@folioweekly.com / ext. 122

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ight million. That’s a remarkable milestone — and if you’re keeping score, 1 million more people than the Congressional Budget Office projected would enroll in the Affordable Care Act’s health care exchanges this year, and 2 million more than the CBO predicted following the insanely botched website rollout that sunk the president’s approval ratings and imperiled the entire 21st-Century liberal experiment, such as it is. (It’s worth noting here again, as so many have before, that Obamacare is at its core a retread of an idea that emerged from the right-wing think tank The Heritage Foundation in the ’90s.) About 28 percent of those 8 million fall within the magic 18-34 demographic — young and presumably healthy people the risk pool needs to keep premiums down — which is less than we hoped but probably good enough. Forthcoming data will give us a deeper picture of the ACA’s successes and shortcomings, but for now you can hardly fault the White House for taking a victory lap. As it turns out, if you offer people quality (if imperfect), reasonably priced (especially if they qualify for subsidies) health insurance, a lot of them will take it. All told, factoring in the law’s accompanying Medicaid expansion and a provision than enables young adults to remain on their parents’ insurance plans until the age of 26, thanks to the ACA 12 million more Americans will have insurance than would otherwise. And more will have it in the future: The CBO projects that the number of uninsured Americans will decline from 42 million this year to 30 million by 2016. That number is still far too high. For many of them — about 65 percent — there’s not much we can do. These people, the CBO projects, will either decline private insurance or not sign up for Medicaid even though they’re eligible. About a third will go uninsured because they’re undocumented immigrants — blocked from the exchanges and Medicaid by federal statute — who will continue driving up costs by showing up at the emergency room for a cold (or, worse, foregoing health care altogether until a serious and pricey malady arises). And then there are the 5 percent: those left out in the cold by this and other states’ refusal to accept billions in federal dollars to offer Medicaid coverage to the working poor — a spiteful move that has already led to actual poor people actually dying [News, “Falling Into the Gap,” Billy Manes, April 16]. (As the Florida Legislature’s annual session careens to a May 2 close, Senate President Don Gaetz is making noise about revisiting the Medicaid expansion; I’d wager my firstborn on a snowball surviving perdition before throwing a penny at Gaetz’s success, at least this election year. Watching Tallahassee for any length of time makes one cynical.) There’s something else at play here, a larger, overarching trend more likely than anything else to cement the ACA’s place in American society: the rise of the freelance culture. Today, one in three Americans is self-employed. By decade’s end, an estimated one in two will be. That alone will fundamentally decouple health care from employment — and make the ACA indispensable. And that’s why, Republican petulance aside, the war is over. Obamacare won.  Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman jbillman@folioweekly.com


MAIL You Wouldn’t Believe

I just read and shared this article on Facebook about West Riverside teachers [Fightin’ Words, “Classroom Bullies,” AG Gancarski, April 9]. You would not believe how awful the school is. My daughter was tormented in the fifth grade by another same-sex student being sexually explicit and then harassing her (as defined by the code of conduct). Her homeroom teacher there called her “sheltered” to me when I asked her about it. Another called her “weird, but pretty.” I tried to get help from the principal, but she told the teachers not to respond. Both fifthgrade teachers and the vice principal knew that the principal had issued an ignore-her policy. We are escaping to LaVilla, too. Will Reed

Heard It All Before

Heard that argument before, if not mistaken: “totally transform Downtown Jacksonville” [Cover Story, “An Aquarium to Transform Jacksonville,” Susan Cooper Eastman, April 9]. If you live in this area long enough, you hear the same argument over and over: The company that built the Jacksonville Landing complex in Downtown Jacksonville, I believe, built a landing on Baltimore’s waterfront. That was supposed to transform Downtown and get it going by itself. The city of Jacksonville has plenty of money to give the Jaguars, and gives companies corporate welfare payments for them to move to a Downtown whose own leaders years ago moved to out to the suburbs. City leaders are now trying reverse engineering. The area the city lacks funds in is pension obligations; for that they can’t find money.

Many, many people have great ideas; the biggest problem is that they want to reach in the pocket of the taxpayers to pay for those great ideas. I’m still waiting for the first rocket from Jacksonville’s Spaceport to take off. Hidalgo, via folioweekly.com

Serious Writers

I want to commend you for writing such an excellent and thorough reporting of our conversations [“An Aquarium to Transform Jacksonville”]. I was both thrilled and impressed that you followed up with so many contacts I provided and some you must have found yourself. Great journalism. I also want to tell you that a number of people who said they never get or read Folio Weekly were impressed with the quality of your article — they didn’t realize that “Folio Weekly had serious writers.” Kudos to you. George Harrell, AquaJax

Solid Citizen

This article made me laugh [News, “Parking War,” Derek Kinner, April 9]. A 20-year-old with a lawyer, not a real job, and a knocked-up girlfriend. He certainly sounds like a real solid citizen. If he really wanted that parking space, why did he back down? He’s lucky he didn’t get the ass-whipping he deserved. Bet he won’t stand in any more open parking spaces.  blade298, via folioweekly.com

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APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5


NEWS

KHG 1, JSO 0 How Keith Haring’s Ghost forced the city to finally take

public art seriously

S © 2014

core one for Chip Southworth. In the wake of the local artist/ provocateur’s arrest on felony charges by the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office for vandalizing 11 traffic control boxes with homages to the late New York City street artist Keith Haring, and the subsequent outcry, as well as artist Shaun Thurston’s recent triumph at One Spark, the city is finally taking public art seriously. Last week, the Cultural Council of Jacksonville and the Downtown Investment Authority launched a campaign, called The Urban Art Façade & Streetscape Program, to fill the urban core with public art. The pilot project, which will roll out Downtown in coming months, marks an attempt to go beyond current code restrictions and facilitate “streetscape enhancements” for utility boxes, murals under the aegis of Duval Walls, and a graffiti wall, along with art on bike racks, street furnishings and Skyway walls. If the pilot program proves successful, it will expand countywide. “Neighborhoods will determine what will go on utility boxes” and other infrastructural furniture, Cultural Council interim executive director Kerri Stewart says. In other words, this could be just the start of something bigger. But even if it’s not, DIA chairman Oliver Barakat believes that public art will be central to Downtown’s branding going forward. It could offer a “market distinction” from suburban enclaves, he says, especially if the art is “distinctive, creative and eclectic.” The result, he hopes, will be a “win/win” for both artists and the creative professionals who will determine if Downtown becomes as viable this century as it was in the middle of the last. “Why not make the environment more attractive?” Barakat asks. “Why not make Downtown more welcoming?” The Cultural Council has already put out a call to artists in the five-county region. Each artist who so desires can pitch up to three pieces

for a jury panel evaluation. There will be some restrictions, however. The city’s Art in Public Places Commission will define the parameters, and prohibit anything that smacks of hate speech, profanity, or drug or porn iconography. It’s that part that doesn’t sit well with Lee Harvey, the Jax-native pop-artist and critic-inexile of the local scene whose work has been a cornerstone of the local underground scene. “Stalin approved of public art — as long as he was the subject,” he says from his home in New York City. “I’m not a big fan of what Jacksonville calls ‘public art.’ If it is approved by the city, then it becomes less art and more decoration.” That’s a tightrope the DIA and Cultural Council will have to navigate: Good art isn’t safe, and should provoke as much as it beautifies, but this is city property and a city program, and you’d probably object to some skinhead spray-painting a swastika in your ’hood under the city’s auspice. Concerns about censorship aside, most local artists — and those who value a more vibrant public space — will likely appreciate Downtown’s new look. And none of it would have happened without Southworth’s Keith Haring’s Ghost project. (In fact, the cover story this magazine published on Southworth earlier this year [“Who’s Afraid of Keith Haring’s Ghost?” Jeffrey C. Billman, Jan. 15] “caused me to reach out to the Cultural Council and see if Downtown could be a litmus test” for public art, Barakat says.) “I think the city had the ingredients and some intentions to get to something down the road, but there certainly wasn’t a defined program in the works when I started this project,” Southworth says. “I think this kicked up the discussion, but more important, it was the public’s incredible reaction to my arrest that really shifted the conversation and brought a groundswell of enthusiasm to the subject of street art.” 

“Why not make the environment more attractive? Why not make Downtown more welcoming?”

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AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com


NEWS Lisa Rinaman, St. Johns Riverkeeper

Photo: Dennis Ho

THE DARK SIDE OF DREDGING

Exaggerated benefits, downplayed damage and a whole lot of risk

P

oliticians and business boosters turned out last week — among them Jacksonville Mayor Alvin Brown, U.S. Rep. Corrine Brown, Chamber of Commerce president Daniel Davis — to celebrate their joint clout in muscling the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to approve deepening 13 miles of the St. Johns River, from 40 to 47 feet. Money for the dredging project was also inserted into a waterways bill that will soon go to the U.S. House of Representatives and Senate. Those leaders say dredging the river will mean a boon for jobs and businesses in Northeast Florida, as giant container ships (called Panamax ships) that will begin crossing the widened Panama Canal in 2015 and stopping at ports along the East Coast discover Jacksonville as a place to load and unload. U.S. Rep. Ander Crenshaw, R-Jacksonville, called the developments “a giant step forward for Northeast Florida’s economy.” But outside that circle of cheerleaders, skeptics abound. St. Johns Riverkeeper Lisa Rinaman argues that the proponents downplay the environmental damage that so drastic an alteration of the river will cause, and greatly exaggerate the potential economic benefit. And if the river is dredged to a depth of 47 feet while Central Florida begins to suck water out of the river for its drinking supply — as the state’s water planners have proposed — the effects could be devastating: Salinity levels could rise, triggering a change in the river’s ecology that threatens the vegetation, trees and marine life that depend on the fresh water. The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers’ modeling of the potential impacts of dredging didn’t adequately explore those possibilities, Rinaman says. “They say, ‘We will be monitoring the river after the fact, and if there is more harm, we can fix it.’ Once harm is done, you can’t reverse history.” University of North Florida sociology and economics professor David Jaffee questions the way the federal government is preparing for the Panama traffic. Instead of consulting with shippers and determining which ports would be logical first and second stops for heavily loaded ships and targeting funding there, the federal government seems to be handing out money to every port along the coast to do improvements and leaving them to duke it out for the business. “It seems to be an irrational competition, and it should be a national plan,” Jaffee says. Jaffee says that a fully loaded Panamax vessel needs 50 feet of water depth. Jacksonville won’t

have that even when the dredging is completed in 2019. And one of those vessels sitting high in the water won’t fit under the Dames Point Bridge. Plus, Jacksonville is competing against Savannah, Charleston, Norfolk, and New York and New Jersey for those big ships. There’s no guarantee they’ll end up here. JaxPort has been behind those other cities in winning approval for dredging or terminal improvements, and shippers are already plotting their routes for the Panamax traffic, Jaffee adds. “If it was the only port on the East Coast or it was the largest on the East Coast, it might make sense to deepen the channel to 50 feet to sustain its position. To think if the St. Johns River is deepened to 47 feet, we would suddenly see this surge of cargo is absurd. Why would these shippers leave these other ports? They are not sitting idly by waiting.” JaxPort spokesperson Nancy Rubin says the Corps’ approval and Jacksonville’s inclusion in the waterway bill catches JaxPort up to its competitors. “Our timeline is exactly the same now,” she says. “[Those other cities] are also waiting for their piece of waterways legislation.” She points out that Jacksonville is already a stop for Asian shippers through Mitsui O.S.K. Lines. “Until the port is deepened, the ships can’t carry as many containers onboard as they would like to. Every foot of depth we go in the river means more opportunity and benefits, more jobs,” she says. “Can we compete? Yes. We have these ships now and we will have more of them.” Jaffee, however, argues that it’s more logical for JaxPort to play a secondary role in moving cargo after the Panamax ships are unloaded onto smaller vessels, and in continuing to expand its business with the Caribbean island nations and Latin America. Going after the big ships carries big financial risks: Jacksonville is committing to paying as much as 40 percent of the cost of the project. Jaffee predicts that the dredging will cost upwards of $1 billion; if he’s right, the already-cash-strapped city will be on the hook for as much as $400 million. “Business is generally behind anything that promises growth and jobs. You have to play the game,” Jaffee says. “But I think it’s possible Jacksonville might dredge to 47 feet and see larger ships coming in with no increase at all in cargo. Rather than three ships carrying containers, one ship will come in carrying them all. That wouldn’t translate to all this economic growth and jobs expansion and revenue.”  Susan Cooper Eastman mail@folioweekly.com APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7


FIGHTIN’ WORDS

2 MINUTES WITH … // DENNIS HO

LEN FERMAN, JUGGLER Folio Weekly: Are you a professional juggler? Ferman: It’s a hobby. I used to try to juggle every day; once I get into a normal routine, I like to juggle 30 minutes a day. It’s great activity for people of any age because it exercises the body and brain. It’s been scientifically proven to increase brain matter in the brain. I’ve seen my kids do better in school after juggling. It’s so much better than playing video games. When did you learn how to juggle? I learned how to juggle late, in my late 30s. [It was] just something that I always wanted to do. People think it’s something they can never learn. I was like that for 30 years. I finally said to myself, “One day I wanna learn how to juggle.” But this was before YouTube. If anyone wants to learn to juggle now, there are, like, 50 videos you can learn from. How many balls can you juggle? Right now I’m working on six balls. Someone once told me going from three balls to four was a quantum leap in difficulty. Anytime you go up one ball, it’s exponentially harder. Not linearly harder, exponentially harder. I understand your son is a juggler, too. He’s so much better than me. He started juggling when he was 8, at just the right age. He’s 20 now. He holds the Guinness World Record for most number of balls juggled at one time, 10. [Ed. note: The record now belongs to a Brit named Alex Carron, who in 2012 juggled 11 balls.] Are there different styles of juggling, or is it universally the same everywhere? Oh, there are infinite different styles of juggling. It’s a completely underappreciated art form. It boogles my mind that it can’t break through. People will pay lots of money to watch people dance, but juggling just can’t break through. How are juggling styles different? There are all different types of props. All different patterns. They’re all visually

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interesting. There’s no one way that people juggle. In fact, people are still inventing new ways of juggling all the time. Do you have hobbies outside of juggling? I was a runner first before I became a juggler. Which do you do better? Probably about equal. Your juggling goal is six balls. Do you have any running goals? I recently turned 50, so I qualify for the Senior Games now. I became the first person at the Florida Senior Games to run the equivalent of a five-minute mile at the age of 50. I beat the record by nine seconds, and I want to repeat and win gold in the 1,500-meter race at the National Senior Games in Minneapolis in July next year. Do jugglers have their own lingo? There’s a mathematical notation that was invented by people at MIT that describes juggling patterns. It’s called site swap. When you’re juggling five or more balls, jugglers need to use this notation. Every throw has a number associated with it. For example, you can go up to a juggler and ask, “Have you ever tried 9-75-3-1?” And jugglers would know exactly what you’re talking about. Have you ever tried a 9-7-5-3-1? I can’t do a 9-7-5-3-1. [Laughs.] Who are your favorite jugglers? My son David. I’ve watched him 1,000 times more than anyone else. There are no jugglers who are household names. My second-favorite juggler would probably be [actor/comedian] Steve Martin. He used to juggle in his stand-up routine. Apart from juggling and running, do you do anything else with your free time? Both are things that you can’t just do once in a while. You wanna be good at running, you gotta run every day. Same with juggling. You have to do it every day.  Dennis Ho dho@folioweekly.com

MISSED OPPORTUNITIES Imagine what One Spark would look like if

Jacksonville had a decent mass transit system

H

aving seen both events — the 2005 Super Bowl and the recently concluded One Spark — come and go, I have to agree with those who argue that the 2014 One Spark probably has the most staying power. It featured the best of Jacksonville: an aspirational, entrepreneurial spirit, one much more yoked to the energy of the Millenials than the ennui of Generation X. One Spark was an event that could only happen in a Big City, one with sufficient human capital and business presence to properly host and showcase it. By almost all markers, it was a success. But it also revealed one of the biggest flaws of the Bold New City: a transportation infrastructure that’s deeply antiquated and perilously flawed. It should be said that, dealing with the laughably limited resources at their disposal, the One Spark team did as well as could be expected. Remote parking at EverBank Field and school buses running shuttles handled a lot of the load, as did the Skyway — which eclipsed the aforementioned Super Bowl and set new usage records. That’s a great thing, on both counts. But school buses are the ultimate in sad-sack, ad hoc solutions. Traffic was a nightmare — the sort of thing one might expect in D.C. or New York or London. And it probably could have been avoided — if city planners, when they were pushing infrastructure projects, had actually embraced light rail (like the Bay Area’s BART) as they expanded city limits deeper into Duval County and beyond. Ironically, streetcars were once part of Jacksonville’s transportation vision. From the 1890s to 1936, streetcar lines were part of the urban landscape. They facilitated travel from Pablo Beach (Jacksonville Beach), as they met up with the St. Johns River ferry Downtown, ran down Main and crossed Bay Street. But streetcars were not the wave of the future. By the late 1930s, they were a thing of the past — and so was reliable mass transit in a meaningful way.

Even if electric streetcars were anachronisms, Jacksonville’s unique expansion pattern lent itself to light rail — and this is something that most conveniently could have been implemented during the Duval County consolidation a half-century ago. Consolidation happened for a variety of reasons — primary among them, a desire by local power brokers to ensure that the city continued to vote white and didn’t find its politics dominated by African-Americans. As the suburbs expanded, light rail could’ve expanded with them, connecting them to the urban core. The choice was made; it didn’t happen. More recently, we saw a lot of building off the back of the Delaney administration’s Better Jacksonville Plan, including road construction projects galore. But light rail wasn’t on the table. That’s shameful, given what we have in its stead: a Byzantine bus system, confusing to almost anyone who hazards to casually use it, a system whose routes can last for hours and involve multiple transfers, depending on where you’re trying to go. (Don’t worry, JTA execs still get paid no matter how much you suffer.) Add to it a sclerotic interstate system, which sees bumper-to-bumper traffic for miles on end on the daily. We hear so much talk about the Next Level from Mayor Brown. You know what would really be Next Level? Taking steps to actually solve our city’s crippling transportation problems — with light rail, running parallel to existing highway systems. This needs to be funded, and built, by any means necessary. Does City Hall have the brass to take it on? Doubtful. But if I were running for mayor, especially in a crowded primary field, it would behoove me to demonstrate the kind of vision we haven’t seen here since the 20th Century. (Free tip, guys.).  AG Gancarski Twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com


NEWS

ADVERTISIN

From left to right, William Frazier, DeShay Frazier, Errin Walker, Daysha Frazier and Jean Frazier

For questions, please call your advertising repr FAX YOUR PROOF IF

Photo by Dennis Ho

THE PLAN THAT NEVER WAS Open enrollment is dead. What’s next for parents in struggling Duval County schools? PROMISE OF BENEFIT

J

ust before 7 on a mid-March morning, when everyone else in her home is waking up, Errin Walker starts her commute to work. She dodges the drivers who text with one hand, the other on the steering wheel. The single mother of four merges onto I-95 as her cell phone rings. It’s her mother Edith. “Did you watch the news this morning?” Edith asks. “Yeah.” Edith recaps the big news. Duval County’s school superintendent has introduced a plan to allow parents to send their student to another public school anywhere in the district. He’s lobbying to get parents’ and school board members’ support. Errin is intrigued. She was optimistic after that conversation, not just for her kids’ futures, but also for other kids stuck in dead-end schools, relegated to lesser lives by virtue of their ZIP code. In short order, that optimism would be crushed. Within weeks, Nikolai Vitti’s open enrollment idea became the plan that never was. It died on that pewter-gray carpet in West Jacksonville Elementary School’s library, having suffered from a lack of support from two key school board members and Jacksonville’s black leaders. Vitti didn’t expect this level of discomfort from the black community, but he’s since regrouped. He’s now molding a new proposal that he hopes will bring together all those leaders who criticized open enrollment and entice them to convince more parents to choose public schools over other options. In the next month, Vitti’s goal is to pull together very detailed information — down to the grade and neighborhood and proficiency levels — on which parents have yanked their children from public school and into a charter or private school. He’ll then present those data to organizations like the PTA, ICARE, the Friends of Northwest Jacksonville and the NAACP, one of the biggest opponents of open enrollment. When these groups see the

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numbers, Vitti believes, they’ll be willing to go door-to-door on behalf of public schools. “I’m expecting those people to be part of the solution,” Vitti says. “We need more people on the playing field. We can’t transform these schools without community support.” When Vitti says “these schools,” he’s talking about schools in the black neighborhoods, specifically ones that earn D or F grades on the state’s convoluted report card year after year. The parents of kids at these schools, like all parents, expect more. They have high hopes for their child and their child’s education. It wasn’t

“We need more people on the playing field. We can’t trasnform these schools without community support.” too long ago that William Raines High, for instance, was the lowest-performing school in all of Florida. The kids there deserve better. From changing principals to paying rock star teachers extra money to take positions at urban schools, Vitti has already introduced several initiatives he believes will help struggling schools experience a renaissance. But these improvements haven’t manifested just yet, and parents are eager to find other options — some glimmer of hope somewhere. Jacksonville’s NAACP chapter opposed open enrollment because members believed parents would abandon struggling schools in black neighborhoods, forcing those empty schools to close. Through its education committee, the NAACP has become the aggressive guardian of

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Northside schools, a group that has its ear to the black parents in Jacksonville and can often mobilize those parents en masse. When talking to the education committee, these parents tell stories of mostly black schools with rotating principals, teachers who stay for only two or three years and academic programs offered one year and dissolved the next — places without continuity and stability. Hearing about Vitti’s new proposal to enlist foot soldiers, local NAACP president Isaiah Rumlin says the group “is willing to sit down and do whatever we can do to help” Vitti and the school district. But some homework must be done first. “A comprehensive study has to be done at the school board level to determine the reason why students or parents are taking their children and sending them to charter schools or private schools,” Rumlin says. “I think it’s up to the school board to come up with a plan. They have to get better principals and better teachers. And when that is done, we won’t have to worry about things like open enrollment.” ● ● ●

Vitti knows the reality of public education in Jacksonville: Parents no longer have to send their students to public schools and, more and more, they’re deciding not to. Private schools. Charter schools. Homeschooling. The competition grows stronger each semester. Charter schools have multiplied from seven in 2003 to 21 in 2013. Charter attendance is growing at a similar clip: 609 students in 2003 to more than 7,500 today. And even if the school board or Vitti didn’t want any more charter schools in Duval County, as long as a charter management company completes all the necessary paperwork, state law mandates that, in most cases, its application be approved. Meanwhile, the chance for parents to choose a private school may soon become easier. Top Republicans in the Legislature are pushing

APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9


NEWS to expand private school vouchers. Such an expansion would funnel more public dollars into the voucher pot and make more students eligible to receive that money. “That would add to the challenge,” Vitti says. “There’s a lot of controversy on it right now because tax dollars would be used for tuition and it remains to be seen if they [the students] would have to take the FCAT.” As the students leave neighborhood schools for other options, so does the money. In Florida, the tax dollars spent to educate a child go wherever the student attends school. So, for every student the district loses, it also loses a few thousand bucks. For Duval, in 2012, that number totaled $36.1 million. This school year: $49 million. Vitti says that amount could grow to $66 million in the next school year. This is money sucked away from neighborhood schools that need it most, places where many students are battling poverty and in some cases tumultuous home lives, where there are myriad barriers to learning. In Vitti’s view, the way to counteract this seemingly inexorable trend is for more parents to think favorably of the programs, staff and reputation of public schools, no matter which public schools those may be. When Vitti announced open enrollment in mid-March, he hoped it would help combat the rise of charters. There was momentum at first. The story led all the local news outlets. The city was abuzz. Perhaps the underlying reason why so many people attended the informational meetings, why so many people were commenting about the plan, why open enrollment became the talk of the town, is that it fed directly into what parents have always wanted. The untold truth of this county is that there are parents who feel, or know for certain, that their child would receive a far superior education if only they attended a different school. There may be great schools and great teachers in Duval, but that greatness isn’t at the school four blocks down and around the corner.

Middle. It was a nightmare. “Highlands Middle has a terrible reputation,” Errin says. “They weren’t learning anything. When they would bring information home to me, I’d say ‘What did you do in school today?’ and they’d say ‘Not much of anything. My teacher just yelled at the class all day and started writing people up.’ ” When Errin tried to get to the bottom of her children’s claims, she learned that students did classwork on the computer and there was little teacher-student interaction. Errin remembers the phone calls she would receive about other students misbehaving in her child’s class. “After a while, my children did join in because if the teacher isn’t doing her job, nobody is paying attention,” she says. While open enrollment had its critics, many parents heralded the plan. They saw it as a way to extract their student from a Northside school that failed their child, as the safety float out of the sea of troubles. And although these parents were excited about sending their students to another school, many quickly realized that there would be logistics involved — namely, how to get the kid to that different school on the other side of town. And so, the excited parents also became anxious parents. They envisioned a school bus whisking their children away, but doing that, Vitti said, would have meant reducing costs elsewhere in the district. (Vitti couldn’t produce the exact amount it would have cost to bus children around the county because he didn’t know how many students would take advantage of open enrollment.) Still, Errin was excited, school bus or not. She was so excited that one late March afternoon, she sat down with her family and determined which school they’d each attend, given this sudden plethora of options. Errin was stretched across the couch; her mother relaxed on the loveseat. DeShay and Jean shared the armchair, where they always sit, hips smashed together, denying that this particular seating arrangement was uncomfortable. The family tradition is to watch the 5 o’clock news and ponder aloud the events of the day. This day, William was a no-show for the news. When the broadcast ended, Errin muted the television. As her mother spoke about Vitti’s plan, Jean listened and then smiled. “I wanna go to Raines,” she said. “Why?” “For the computer program.” Errin pondered. Jean and DeShay have attended school together since fourth grade. Now’s not the time to split the two. She asked DeShay how he felt about attending Raines. He shrugged. All roads lead to the NFL anyway. “If you let Jean go to Raines, you gotta make DeShay go there, too,” said William, who finally walked into the living room. Then and there, it was settled. William would go to Ribault, Jean and DeShay to Raines and Daysha, the little one, would remain at Somerset Academy. But none of that happened. And so, for parents like Errin, those without the means to spend tens of thousands of dollars on private or parochial schools, their children can only attend either their neighborhood school or a nearby charter. And now they’ll have to wait for Vitti’s next move. 

As students leave neighborhood schools for other options, so does the money.

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Escaping a not-so-great school is the main reason Errin Walker moved her children to a charter school. She lived on the Northside most of her life, but she and her mother relocated to a ranch-style home nestled in a subdivision where there’s a sago palm on every front lawn. Technically it’s the Biscayne Village area, but more important, it’s a neighborhood of black first-time homebuyers, truck drivers, real estate agents, policemen and firemen. Errin’s dad calls it a place where black people move “when they got a little bit of money.” It’s a neighborhood perfect for finishing homework because things are always quiet. All of Errin’s children are quiet and athletic. They love fidgeting with digital devices. William — Errin’s oldest at 17 — wants to be a pilot. He is enamored of everything aviation. Secondoldest DeShay is the family jock, good at math but fancies himself better at football. Jean is the oldest daughter, a tomboy obsessed with apps, always in basketball shorts. Then there’s Daysha, the youngest, a child the family believes has dyslexia, though they’re unsure how to begin testing her for the disorder. DeShay and Jean go to Somerset Academy, a charter school. Years ago, they went to Highlands

Khristopher Brooks mail@folioweekly.com


What’s it like to be an atheist in one of the most religious places in America? couple months ago, my 7-year-old daughter came home from school and shared an interesting anecdote. “Dad,” she said with a hint of indignation. “Today my teacher told us we are all made of clay.” Her disposition quickly soured as she tugged on the flesh of her forearm. “Is my skin made of clay? No! Is my blood made of clay? No! I don’t get it. We’re not made of clay.”

I confirmed this, of course, then asked if she’d responded out loud in class. She said other children had spoken up in agreement with the teacher. “I was the only one who was silent.” As an atheist, I was outraged, knowing that in many ancient religious texts, clay is the material from which God forms man. The Quran, the Greek Prometheus myth and even the biblical Genesis story, in fact, involve God fashioning man from clay (or dust from the ground, as in the case of Gen-

esis). I suspected that the teacher was promoting some sort of religious position in the classroom — a first-grade classroom that offers no science as part of its curriculum. So I did what any deep-thinking intellectual would do. I posted on Facebook. Voicing outrage on Facebook is easy and safe, allowing me to rage on in the ether of the Internet, thus sparing school officials and a well-intentioned educator a visit from a fuming father with a chip on his shoulder.

by John E. Citrone Photos by Dennis Ho

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Thomas Amason

The responses to my post — 185 comments all told — were wide and varied. Some suggested, in not-so-friendly language, that I take the teacher and the school board to task. Several religious friends said they’d never heard of the “created from clay” story. Others claimed I had misinterpreted the teacher’s intent, and that I should give the instructor the benefit of the doubt. One particularly vehement commenter called me out, demanding that I disclose the teacher’s name and insisting that children can be coached to say things they may not mean or even understand. He implied that since I was open with my child about my atheism, perhaps she was influenced by my heavy hand to interpret the teacher’s words as religious in tone. I found all of this very confusing. Had I jumped to an unfair conclusion? Was I being unfair to a first-grade teacher who made a passing reference to children and their malleable psyches? Or was I right, thinking that a sincere, well-meaning instructor had infused her lecture with religious subtext? And did any of it really matter? Then I remembered how upset my child was at the notion that she wasn’t made of flesh, but muddy earth. I pondered whether or not children are equipped to process such a metaphor, regardless of its metaphysical or philosophical intent. And I wondered why all of those children in her class were so willing to

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

accept such a concept at face value while my child was so disturbed by the notion. I decided to let it go, as I didn’t want to make my daughter’s school year any more difficult than it had to be. She and I discussed the issue in depth, considered all the possibilities, then put it to rest. She hasn’t mentioned it since. And yet I still wrestle with it. Such is the struggle of many atheists, agnostics and secular humanists who reside here in

Many of us live in the shadows, fearing the consequences of a public pronouncement of disbelief in the supernatural.

Northeast Florida. In an area so deeply immersed in religion in general, and conservative Christianity specifically, we face these bizarre conundrums on a daily basis, conundrums that to the religious seem, at best, petty, at worst, extreme, maniacal and certain to send us to hell. Some of us are outspoken, while many more live in the shadows, fearing the consequences of a public pronouncement of a lack of belief in the supernatural. But this is changing. The developed world has become increasingly secular in the past two decades, with large swaths of Europe now claiming to be irreligious. In America, an overwhelmingly Christian nation, the tide is turning as well. As so-called Millennials come of age, church attendance has dropped and fewer people than ever before are claiming to be religious or churchgoing. Yet in the South, nonbelievers remain a largely closeted group, worried that employers, friends and family members will ostracize them. In preparing this article, I engaged in many discussions with people of varying degrees of faith as well as full-blown antitheists. Their responses were illuminating. Many were candid and happy to share their ideas. Some of the faithful admitted to experiencing crises of faith in their lives and, as a result, having a more open and accepting view of atheists and people of other religions or spiritual practices. Several atheists expressed reluctance to speak

on record about their lack of faith. One dear friend, a religious woman who wears a modest cross on a chain around her neck, told me to keep my atheism to myself. It was a delicious irony. homas Amason sits in a big comfy chair in his otherwise spare living room, his tiny Chihuahua, Taylor, by his side. He’s fast-forwarding through a rough cut of the documentary film The Unbelievers, hitting the highlights and explaining why the film changed — or more accurately, helped solidify — his worldview. A Jacksonville-based musician and recording engineer, Amason worked sound design on the film, which meant he was on tour with noted atheist scientists and authors Lawrence Krauss and Richard Dawkins as they traveled the globe speaking to audiences about the importance of science and reason in the face of religion. He spent time in concert halls recording people like neuroscientist Sam Harris and activist Ayaan Hirsi Ali, and in the home of Stephen Hawking, all of whom have stoked the ire of the devout by simply talking about ideas. Amason, a composed and thoughtful man of 31 years, looks more Riverside indie rocker than philosopher. His ever-present fedora, lanky build and cool demeanor belie his

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penchant for lengthy discussions about most anything. He’s smart, and he stands behind his convictions. But he’s also a bit reticent when it comes to talking about his agnosticism. Or atheism. He’s still not sure what to call it, but it is, without question, nonbelief. Amason was raised in a religious household. “My parents were so strict that I wasn’t allowed to really do anything other than church activities,” he says. “I wouldn’t be able to go to the mall on Wednesday night to see a movie, but I most certainly could go to church. So if I wanted to have a social life, I could only seek it through church.” Living in Middleburg, within walking distance of his family’s church, Amason felt trapped as a teenager, but, as he says, attending church functions was a “better-than-nothing deal, ’cause it was the only thing that would get me out of the house. I had my doubts during that time, but you know me. I’m an asshole. I took it upon myself to learn [scripture] better than anyone else.” Amason found himself picking arguments with non-Christians about creationism, which he now frames as “regurgitating really bad science.” He bought into the romantic notion of the universe, that something so beautiful, so vast, could only have been created. But arguing with nonbelievers pushed him to learn more about real science, and he began to see the inconsistencies in his own position. Still, he kept searching for answers within the church. After graduating from high school, Amason moved away from home and invested himself in his music career. By his early 20s, he was more concerned about landing record deals and touring than pursuing spirituality. His appearance and lifestyle didn’t quite fit with his former church, anyway, so his departure was unceremonious. He put his faith on pause. “It basically stayed on pause until this movie,” he says. Working on The Unbelievers opened

“It wouldn’t be in my best interest to say anything about atheism. I’m at risk if I talk about my doubts. That’s terrible to say, but that’s exactly what it is.” Amason up to a world of possibilities he hadn’t considered — or considered seriously — before. “When I got the call [to do the film], I didn’t know who Richard Dawkins was. I didn’t know who Lawrence Krauss was. I had seen Neil Degrasse Tyson on television a couple of times. We all know that there are evangelistic Christians out there going doorto-door preaching that gospel, but I didn’t know that there were scientists on the other end doing the exact same thing.” While filming the lectures and debates, Amason saw the arguments he once espoused crushed by scientists. “It didn’t happen in a moment,” says Amason. “It was one intelligent phrase after another from day to day.” And it led him to question everything, and to realize that it was OK to not be certain. Though he agreed to be interviewed, Amason expresses unease about how he might

be perceived. His main concern is his mother; he doesn’t want to hurt her with a public airing of his views. He’s been more open with his father, engaging in debates with him from time to time, but he doesn’t press the issue unless his father broaches it first. But he’s most worried about his business. As the brains behind the band Fit For Rivals, he’s got a national audience to look out for. One might think an insubordinate rock-and-roller who works out of his home studio might shrug off popular perception. But Amason is troubled by the notion that his audience would be significantly reduced if he were to suffuse his music with lyrics about his nonbelief. “Doing something in the entertainment industry, whether it’s music or film, it wouldn’t be in my best interest as an entertainment product in America to say anything about atheism,” says Amason. “I’m talking strictly from a monetary perspective; from a survival perspective. ’Cause inevitably that’s what this is all about — survival. And I’d like to survive playing music. I’m at risk if I talk about my doubts, because that’s one less sale. That’s terrible to say, but that’s exactly what it is.” His fears are not unfounded. Discrimination against atheists is a real thing. A 2011 study by Will M. Gervais and Ara Norenzayan (both of the University of British Columbia) and Azim F. Shariff (University of Oregon) reveals many disturbing trends in anti-atheist discrimination. It’s no secret that, historically, atheists have been treated less than kindly by the church — shunned, abused and tortured, even executed. But today, in our modern and relatively peaceful American society, atheists, agnostics and even secular humanists still take a beating, albeit one slightly less literal. Gervais, Norenzayan and Shariff found that, in a broad survey of Americans, “only people with a proven track record of untrustworthy conduct — rapists — were distrusted to a

Earl Coggins

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comparable degree as atheists.” Yes, rapists. According to the study, atheists are among the least-liked groups of people in many parts of the world. Moreover, a 2008 American Religious Identification Survey found that “41 percent of self-identified [American] atheists reported experiencing discrimination in the form of social ostracism, slander, coercion, denial of opportunities … and hate crimes.” arl Coggins founded the First Coast Freethought Society 16 years ago, in part to create a place for atheists, agnostics and secular humanists to gather and talk about the difficulties they may experience in social and professional circles. Coggins has seen his share of discrimination in Jacksonville, including a refusal by the Jacksonville City Council to permit an atheist invocation before a council meeting. He’s also experienced ostracism within his own family. An Army brat, Coggins spent the first years of his life traveling, settling with his large family in North Carolina, then relocating permanently to Jacksonville in 1977. His parents were not particularly religious and never attended church, though he did hear 2014of “The Man Upstairs.” the occasional© mention When his mother died in 2007, he suggested she be buried in a nonreligious ceremony with a Unitarian minister, with the only mention of God being in the terms she used: “The Man Upstairs.” The fallout was disastrous. “There was quite a battle. I haven’t spoken to my two brothers and one of my sisters since then because of it,” says Coggins. “I was accused of injecting atheism into the funeral, which in fact I wasn’t. I just wanted to make sure the funeral represented my mother’s worldview.” Coggins says this type of reaction is typical, with spouses, family members and employers turning a cold or dismissive shoulder once an atheist they know is out of the closet.

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Coggins has a word for it: “That would be bigotry. People find out that you don’t think like them and, all of a sudden, you’re no longer their friend.” risten Barger has experienced similar treatment. She’s an agnostic single mother of a 7-year-old boy, and her ex-husband is not happy about it. The agnosticism, that is. Raised a Southern Baptist, Barger found it harder to reconcile her faith with her reality as she aged. “It was a gradual awakening, I suppose, but I always questioned it deep down,” she says. “I cannot fully resolve in my mind the argument of whether there is or isn’t a god. Even with our rapid advances in science, I doubt if I’ll ever see proof.” The trouble started when her son, then 6, told her ex that his mom “didn’t believe in God.” Barger had just begun talking to her son about her feelings on the matter, but says she was broadsided by her ex-husband’s reaction. “He said, ‘So my son tells me you don’t believe in God,’ ” says Barger. “I calmly told him that was not completely true, and that I am

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“People find out that you don’t think like them and, all of a sudden, you’re no longer their friend.”

agnostic. His exact words were, ‘I don’t even know what that means.’ ” After that spat, she says, her ex began imposing Draconian rules on their visitation. And her ex-husband and his fiancée are “get ready … praying for me!” Barger says she’s explained to her son what she believes. “He’s a smart kid and deserves that,” she says. “I am also adamant about teaching him respect for everyone else’s beliefs and religions. My family is religious and so is his father. I will never tell my son what to believe, and I encourage him to think for himself. My goal is to teach him to be a good person on his own, without a book, the drive of guilt or the threat of hell. Just be a good person. It’s not that hard.” Coggins says this type of discrimination runs deeper than personal relationships, and can manifest itself in the loss of jobs, evictions from apartments, loss of child custody in divorce disputes, and removal or restriction from public office, all of which have been thoroughly documented. Seven states, all below the Mason-Dixon Line — Arkansas, Maryland, Mississippi, North and South Carolina, Texas and Tennessee — have laws on the books denying atheists the right to hold office. Alabama Gov. Robert J. Bentley went so far as to denounce atheists and non-Christians in his swearing-in speech in 2011. “Anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I’m telling you, you’re not my brother and you’re not my sister, and I want to be your brother.” And the Boy Scouts, despite its recent lifting of its ban on gay youth scouts (the ban on gay adult leaders remains in effect), still bans all atheists regardless of age. But Coggins is hopeful, and sees slow acceptance of the nonreligious, even in the South. It may take a decade or two to see the results of such progress, but it is happening. “We’re not flat-lining. We’re not going backward. Things are improving.”


he good news for nonbelievers is that religion is in decline. This may be hard to fathom in Northeast Florida, where it seems there’s a church (or three) on every block, many of them Southern Baptist. Indeed, First Baptist Church Jacksonville literally owns 11 square blocks in Downtown — including its main sanctuary, a functioning but rarely used lighthouse, a children’s campus and a parking garage — and boasts a membership of 28,000, the third-largest congregation in the Southern Baptist Convention. The church’s annual budget reaches well north of $10 million. But even the mighty FBC has experienced troubles of late. In November 2013, the Times-Union reported that, after years of budget cuts, the church was eliminating 47 of its 220 employees — 14 full-timers and 33 part-timers. Over the past 25 years, survey after survey has shown an unprecedented drop in church attendance both worldwide and in the United States, as well as a decline in the number of people who call themselves religious. Concomitantly, there’s also been a rise in the number of people who call themselves nonreligious, sometimes dubbed in the media as “nones.” Since 1990, the percentage of Americans who claim that they are not religious has tripled to about 20. Huge drops in attendance in the Catholic Church — The Nun’s Report, co-authored by University of Tampa associate professor of psychology Ryan Cragun, shows that between 1990 and 2007, a million people left the Catholic Church, due in large part to the rampant sexual abuse scandals — were accompanied by drops in attendance at Protestant, Methodist and Episcopalian churches. The Association of Statisticians of American Religious Bodies’ 2010 U.S. Religious Census, which surveyed the nation’s largest churches, says only about 48.8 percent of Americans are “part of a religion.” Pew Research’s 2012 Religion & Public Life survey found that about 20 percent of people in the U.S. say they have no religion, which leaves a nearly 30-percentage-point gap between those who say they attend church and those who actually attend church. It’s an odd disparity, but one that only emphasizes the point. Fewer people are attending church than ever before, and fewer still are concerned about joining one. The Pew survey also shows that the number of people who claim to be unaffiliated with any religion is highest among the youngest polled (18-29 years old), and of those, a full 88 percent are not looking for religious affiliation of any kind. Six percent of Americans, or about 13 million people, say they are atheists or agnostics. Cragun, who has studied and written extensively about secularism and atheism, says that secularization rises in light of modernization — advanced technology, advanced understanding of the world, increased democratization, gender equality — and religion declines. “In the U.S., about 20 percent of people go to church on any given Sunday, even though 40 percent say they do; it’s actually 20 percent — we’ve checked,” says Cragun. “Only one in five Americans are going to church.” He also attributes the rise of secularization, more specifically, to evolving attitudes toward sexual minorities. “Those attitudes have been changing very rapidly, and I think it’s a great overlay. Young people have much more favorable attitudes toward same-sex marriage and toward LGBTQ rights than do older people. Well, guess who’s more likely to be nonreligious? “Part of the reason why that’s happening,” he continues, “and I would actually go so

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far as to say that there is probably a causal link here, is that the majority of Americans recognize and admit that opposition to same-sex marriage is rooted in religion. They blame religion.” hen my wife and I decided to make Jacksonville our long-term home and raise our daughter here, I worried that provincial attitudes and mosquitoes would be her most formidable enemies. Over time, though, I grew to love Jacksonville for its natural beauty, its low cost of living and its blossoming artistic enclaves. And there is something cozy and charming about its rural tenacity. Three years ago, I had a shot at moving to Manhattan for work. When that job fell through, however, I found myself secretly content, as over the past two decades, Jacksonville has become my home. But where does this leave me philosophically? I’m perfectly capable of defending my atheism, and I’m happy to do so given the opportunity. But my child, a precocious, sweet and very funny little girl, now faces a culture steeped in religious imagery and expectation. This may be a good thing, as it affords us the opportunity to address issues, employ critical thinking and discuss the breadth of human experience and how people relate to it. Yet it places my child, the 7-year-old vegetarian daughter of an atheist/musician dad and a spiritualist/yoga instructor mom, in an awkward and somewhat perilous position. While my wife and I have aligned ourselves with the most compassionate and accepting people we know — religious and nonreligious alike — my kid will likely be cast as an oddball by many in this community. It’s already happened in small ways, since she is outspoken about her own feelings about God and religion. It gets her into trouble from time to time, the obvious paradox being that she shouldn’t dare mention a word about her disbelief in the presence of those professing their own belief. But I take heart knowing that religion is slowly on the wane. Slowly, but surely. Do I want religion to vanish completely? Absolutely not. Religion — and by this I mean all religions — has given the world so much. Art, architecture and music, the cultivation of a shared ethical foundation, even early scientific discoveries were all the domain of clerics and their brethren. To not celebrate this would be plain ignorant. Do I hope religion will play a far less significant role in the American political and social landscape? Absolutely. While I don’t have a problem with a Christmas tree at City Hall, I’ll be damned if I’ll accept a Ten Commandments plaque at my child’s public school without a fight. I am a “separation of church and state” literalist. In other words, there is no way I could tolerate a public school curriculum that recognized creationism as science. And so I question the legitimacy of telling children they are made of clay. But beyond all of the rhetoric, I desire a level playing field on which my kid can run free. A place where she can, should she so choose, experiment with both belief and disbelief, where she might explore the scope of spiritual and nonspiritual possibilities before her, where she may find herself in her own time, in her own way, without fear of discrimination, persecution or, perish the thought, violent recrimination simply for what she does — or doesn’t — believe.

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SCAN WITH LAYAR TO SEE MORE OF THIS WEEK’S PICKS

Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week

SOULFUL BECCA STEVENS BAND

Only if “insanely talented” were a genre could Becca Stevens Band be accurately placed in one. Emotive R&B rhythms blend seamlessly into folk, jazz and indie rock arrangements with a deceptively simple and utilitarian use of accordion, upright bass, piano and guitar. This understated style really shines on their interpretations of songs ranging from Usher’s “You Make Me Wanna” to Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose” (which they somehow manage to make 47 percent less clawing), all entirely deconstructed and then reassembled with new, ambitious dimensions and textures. 7:30 p.m. April 27 at Underbelly, Downtown, $20.

FOLK PUNK CHUCK RAGAN & THE CAMARADERIE

Chuck Ragan is like the Paul Bunyan of punk. He slays fish. He builds houses. He writes passionate love songs. He has an anonymously administered Chuck Norris-style Twitter account. He conceptualized the collaborative, family-style Revival Tour, which has popularized acoustic folk-punk to the point of saturation. Painting Ragan with such broad, bearded and flannel-clad strokes neglects his history leading seminal Gainesville-born hardcore heroes Hot Water Music since 1993. Consider Ragan the Springsteen of a generation raised on mosh pits and DIY values – and consider Springsteen jealous of Ragan and his unflappable man’s-man aesthetic. With Jonny Two Bags and Beau Crum, 8 p.m. April 28 at Jack Rabbits, San Marco, $18.

FAITH & REASON THE ORIGIN OF HUMANITY

BROADWAY IN JAX MILLION DOLLAR QUARTET

In December 1956, Elvis Presley drove his girlfriend into Memphis to buy Christmas presents. Fate led him to a stop at Sun Studios, where he joined three other soon-to-be legends – Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins – for the ultimate jam session. The well-documented Million Dollar Quartet, dramatized for Broadway, hits a Downtown Duval stage with more classics than we have room to print – among them, “Folsom Prison Blues,” “Great Balls of Fire,” “Hound Dog,” “Matchbox” and “I Walk the Line.” It’s 100 solid minutes of the most hallowed day in Memphis, continuing for seven more shows April 23-27 at the T-U Center, Downtown, $37-$77.

Ready to expand your mind a little? OneJax, an institute of the University of North Florida, presents Faith & Reason: The Origin of Humanity, an event that seeks to promote understanding of various viewpoints on some touchy topics (you noticed the event’s title, yes?). The panel discussion is moderated by UNF president and former mayor John Delaney. Panelists include Dr. Anthony Rossi (UNF biology professor), Imam Shamu Shamudeen (Islamic Center of Northeast Florida), Dr. Julie Ingersoll (UNF associate professor of philosophy and religion) and other local theologians. 7 p.m. April 29 at UNF’s Robinson Theater; free e-tickets must be reserved, go to eventbrite.com.

FOWL SCIENCE CHICKEN RAISING

For anyone who’s ever thought that having a chicken for a pet would be awesome, well, here you go. The Museum of Science & History presents Backyard Chickens as part of its MOSH After Dark series. Raising chickens in an urban setting has sparked a lot of interest in Northeast Florida and, in fact, the city of Jacksonville might run out of permits for chicken-keeping. Speaker Genora Crain-Orth, of River City Chicks, a Jaxbased group dedicated to backyard birds, leads a discussion on what urban chicken farming is and the laws that regulate it. 6 p.m. April 26 at Museum of Science & History, Southbank, $5, register at themosh.org/events. 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

DOMESTIC DYSFUCTION THE LYONS

It’s an unwavering, unflattering and wickedly hilarious portrait of the dysfunctional American family. Stonecold Rita Lyons flips through a glossy magazine, unfazed by her husband’s impending death as she plans how to spend his money. Unaware of their father’s condition, the couple’s grown children come to visit, and it’s clear the dysfunction is hereditary. By her mother’s constant belittling, recovering alcoholic Lisa is driven to the comfort of a stiff drink. Curtis seems the more adjusted sibling, until the long-term boyfriend he’s been chatting with on the phone turns out to be entirely fictitious – to the joy of Curtis’ homophobic father. Uninhibited by tragedy, these characters pull no punches in the play’s debut production in Florida. 8 p.m. April 24-26 and 2 p.m. April 27 at Players by the Sea, Jacksonville Beach, $20-$23.


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ISmart, AMsuaveLEGEND and sexy, all-American soul man John Legend has

transcended R&B niche to achieve ubiquitous superstardom

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18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

The interesting thing about Legend, though, ohn Legend’s life is about as charmed as his name indicates. He’s won nine Grammy is that his music purposely crosses a bevy of Awards as a solo artist and in-demand wires. From the get-go, hip-hop audiences collaborator. He’s worked closely with Kanye embraced him, while the jazz, R&B and soul West since the Chicago rapper’s earliest hustles. worlds hailed him as a crossover prophet. And He’s made countless film, television and the pop world is certainly better off for his welcome injection of authenticity. Whether commercial appearances. He’s agitated for AIDS it was the crackling drumbeats and dashing research, sustainable development, education reform, women’s justice and civil rights. attitude of his debut single, “Used to Love U,” or Essentially, Legend has transformed himself the heart-wrenching, Broadway-ready balladry from a little-known balladeer into one of of its follow-up, “Ordinary People,” Legend had America’s true renaissance men — a soulful, no problem living up to all expectations. streetwise Most Interesting Man in the World Wisely, Legend realized early that he couldn’t to whose success men can aspire and for whose let the piano define him. Of his third album, 2011 charms ladies can swoon. To top it all off, last 2007’s Evolver, he said he wanted to be “defined year Legend married his longtime girlfriend, by the fact that I’m not gonna stay in the same supermodel Chrissy Teigen, in a tabloid-ready place, and that I’m always gonna try new things ceremony in Italy’s star-studded Lake District. and experiment.” That philosophy has been John Roger Stephens didn’t start life as justified over and over, as Legend balanced a ubiquitous superstar. Born in Springfield, steamy, synth-spiked club hits (2009’s “Green Ohio, in 1978 to a seamstress mother and a Light” and 2012’s “Tonight”) with old-school factory-worker father, Stephens’ childhood was instrumental barn-burners (everything on Wake typical: piano lessons at age 4, church choir at Up!, his 2010 collaboration with The Roots) and 7, his parents’ divorce at 12. Yet he thrived as a suave odes to the good life (2006’s “Heaven” and student, graduating as salutatorian of his high 2013’s “Who De We Think We Are”). Last year’s school class and receiving scholarship offers “All of Me,” easily his biggest hit, is also quite from Harvard, Georgetown and Morehouse. possibly the most romantic song ever written. As he told The Big Issue in February, “I’m proud Stephens instead chose the University of to play a role in the mating process.” Pennsylvania, where he immersed himself in the study of African-American literature, Yet Legend is far greater than the sum of his learning the ins and outs of Philadelphia’s solo parts. In addition to frequent colleagues tight-knit music scene. He helmed a co-ed Jay-Z, West and will.i.am, he’s worked with college a cappella group, built a everyone from Janet and solid word-of-mouth fan base Michael Jackson to Stephen JOHN LEGEND along the Eastern Seaboard’s Colbert to Herbie Hancock to 8 p.m. April 30, The Florida culturally dense Acela Corridor, Harry Styles of One Direction. Theatre, Downtown, independently recorded, And even though he’s been the 355-2787, floridatheatre.com produced and released two face of marketing campaigns for albums and, upon graduation, brands like Gap and Chevy, you learned the music industry biz in a management can’t fault the man’s impeccable philanthropic job with The Boston Consulting Group. work: high-level roles with Teach for America, While his talent was always obvious, it was Stand with Children and the World Economic the company Stephens kept in the early days of Forum — and a spot on Time magazine’s 100 his career that really catapulted him to stardom. Most Influential People list in 2009. Lauryn Hill, on the verge of her own solo career All of which makes Legend’s current All of after topping international charts with The Me Tour such a draw. More than half the dates Fugees, tapped Legend to play piano on one of through June sold out, and Legend’s five stops her debut album’s biggest hits, “Everything is in Florida around the Tobago Jazz Experience prove he’s serious about connecting with his Everything.” Yet it was an introduction to West that yielded Legend’s stage name, along with his audience. “The All of Me Tour is a strippeddown, acoustic, really intimate [show],” he told longest-lasting professional relationship. By the CBS in January, “[It’s] me communicating with time he signed a multi-album deal with West’s the fans.”  Sony BMG-backed GOOD Music imprint, it appeared that only a major label could properly Nick McGregor handle Legend’s massive potential. mail@folioweekly.com

FolioWeekly


A&E // MUSIC

QUIET MAN M. Ward – songwriter, producer,

behind-the-scenes collaborator – puts time in a bottle with his own hushed, introspective indie folk

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ortland-based singer, songwriter and producer Matt Ward — stage name M. Ward — represents the best of music’s past, present and future. He’s an audiophile obsessed with analog recording — in 2009, The New York Times labeled him “A Four-Track Guy in a Digital World.” As a performer, his eight full-length albums released over the last 15 years did wonders updating old-timey folk, pop and country for a modern audience. And as a collaborator, he’s played a major role in pushing popular music forward via modern supergroups like She & Him, his breezy AM-pop duo with actress Zooey Deschanel, and Monsters of Folk, his harder-rocking relationship with Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes and Jim James of My Morning Jacket. Yet in all of his endeavors, M. Ward is content being the quiet, reserved guy behind the scenes. His first four records took hushed, introspective music to new heights, building up enough of a rapt audience to have his next four climb the Billboard charts and earn choice placements in various media while still pleasing hardcore fans. With She & Him, Ward lets Deschanel’s crystalline voice capture most of the attention, a role he’s comfortably assumed as a contributor to the work of other artists, including Norah Jones, Calexico, Jenny Lewis and Bright Eyes. As Ward told Folio Weekly about his preferred invisibility, “It’s a very idealistic thing to say, but yeah — the goal is to bring the audience directly to the idea you are writing about without anything getting in the way.”

Folio Weekly: Your current tour comprises only about 12 dates. Is this typical, or does 2014 just represent a slow year since you don’t have a new album out? M. Ward: In general, I’m more at home in a studio than I am on a tour bus. I really don’t tour very often. Lately, I’ve been more interested in traveling to perform in places I haven’t had the chance to see much. In the last year and a half, we’ve played India, South

Korea, New Zealand, so the line between tourism and touring is becoming very thin. F.W.: Correct us if we’re wrong, but you’ve never toured in Florida as a solo musician, right? M.W.: I supported Rilo Kiley when they were my backing band about 10 years ago. I remember beautiful beaches and good Cuban food.

over PROMISE to mainstream success? OF BENEFIT SUPPORT M.W.: It’s definitely not surprising. I’m maybe the one person who has the privilege of being able to focus solely on her songwriting and her voice, which are both beyond great.

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F.W.: You’ve always been celebrated for connecting old music and old recording

“I have a hard time separating the difference between personal and universal.” F.W.: Will you be performing by yourself? Have any plans for your set list? M.W.: I think a true retrospective would be pretty accurate. There’s usually a mix of quiet, old, new and loud. [Also], I’ll have the same three-piece band I took to Australia a few months ago.

techniques to modern audiences. As your work has reached more ears, have you updated your ideas or methods? M.W.: My love for all those older inspirations hasn’t changed at all — it just keeps getting broader as [I] realize the endless amount of music to uncover.

F.W.: Your old albums are very quiet — almost intimate in a way — while newer material like 2009’s Hold Time and 2012’s A Wasteland Companion turned up the volume a bit. Did any of those sonic shifts feel sudden or seismic to you? M.W.: I wouldn’t say seismic, but I learned that simplest is best when I made Transfiguration of Vincent about 10 years ago.

F.W.: As you’ve segued into more of a producer and collaborator role, have guitar and voice still remained your primary forms of creative expression? M.W.: Yes, but I’ve produced all my records since my first one in 2000. So the line between songwriting and producing is very, very thin for me.

F.W.: How do you draw the line between personal and universal songwriting? Transfiguration addressed the death of a close friend, while 2006’s Post-War tackled how music could affect a country at war. M.W.: When it comes to music, I have a hard time separating the difference between personal and universal. I think personal songs — if they’re written well — should be about anybody. F.W.: You started working with Deschanel a couple of years before she began fi lming New Girl. Has it been surreal watching her cross

F.W.: Do you feel like you still have a lot to learn as a guitar player? M.W.: People like Django Reinhardt, Chet Atkins, Elmore James, John Fahey and Chris Parkening remind me [that there are] still an endless amount of things to learn on the guitar.  Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

M. WARD with MOUNT MORIAH 8 p.m. April 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $25 209-0399, pvconcerthall.com APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19


20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21


A&E // MUSIC

NO GIMMICKS NEEDED Six-time pro wrestling champ

because it shows a disabled man committing suicide — being banned is a surefire way to boost sales. Chasing the Grail (2010) marked a step forward in the band’s sound, but failed to follow up on the previous album’s success. It was not until the band’s fifth album, 2012’s Sin and Bones, that Fozzy finally found a place in the industry. Featuring appearances by Motorhead guitarist Phil Campbell and M. Shadows of Avenged Sevenfold (also playing Rockville on Saturday), Sin and Bones debuted at No. 1 on Billboard’s Heatseekers chart, he hackneyed stereotype of pro wrestlers as cementing Fozzy’s status as a band on the rise. big dumb jocks is turned on its head every Jericho the wrestler is probably an industry time Chris Jericho opens his mouth. That’s lifer, but he’s as serious about his music as especially true when he’s singing with his band The Rock is about his movies. At 44, Jericho’s Fozzy, who will be performing in Jacksonville had remarkably few serious injuries, despite on the first day of Welcome To Rockville. Fozzy working a very physical, high-impact style. — Jericho, guitarists Rich Ward and Billy Grey, Having performed on national TV since 1996, bassist Paul Di Leo and drummer Frank Fontsere the only things he’s lost are a few inches of hair — has worked diligently to establish itself as a from a majestic mane that once earned him the serious player in the hard-rock market since alias “Lionheart” in Mexico. forming 15 years ago, When Fozzy plays and 2014 may well be Metro Park, its singer FOZZY AT WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE its breakout year. won’t be far from With Avenged Sevenfold, The Cult, Smile Empty home. Jericho, a native Rich Ward, best Soul, Volbeat, Chevelle, Alter Bridge, Hellyeah and Canadian, lives with his known as the leader more. April 26, Metropolitan Park, Downtown, family in Tampa, home of Stuck Mojo, $59.50 (one day), $109.50 (April 26 & 27) to more pro wrestlers founded “Fozzy than maybe any other Osbourne” as a bar American city, and band in the late-’90s. where Fozzy will be playing Friday night. Jericho joined in 1999, around the time Stuck Born Christopher Keith Irvine in Mojo was ending. Fozzy’s self-titled debut was Long Island, N.Y., the six-time former released at the end of 2000, which was also world champion majored in creative Jericho’s first full year in the WWE; Fozzy’s communications, and he’s put that education second record, Happenstance, followed in 2002. to good use. His third book is due out Oct. 13; The group was initially seen as a send-up of The Best In the World — At What I Have No hard-rock clichés, with stage-names like “Duke Idea follows on the heels of bestsellers released LaRue” (Ward) and “Mongoose McQueen” in 2007 and 2011. Considered one of the best (Jericho); the early albums featured credible talkers in wrestling history, Jericho has adapted covers of songs by Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, that skill to his new podcast, Talk Is Jericho; he’s Judas Priest, Scorpions, W.A.S.P., Dio and, also started his own web series, But I’m Chris of course, Ozzy. The band’s first two albums, Jericho!, a satirical take on his own attempts to released on the infamous Megaforce label, sold make it in the acting world. fewer than 10,000 copies combined. With a new Fozzy album dropping just Initial hype was built around the singer’s days after Welcome To Rockville and a busy celebrity status, and audiences figured it was touring schedule lined up through summer a just a side hustle to reinforce the character and fall, it seems unlikely Chris Jericho will he played on TV. But no. All That Remains return to the WWE any time soon. But his (Ash Records, 2005) marked the debut of fans’ loss is also his fans’ gain.  a new Fozzy, rebooted without the covers and characters. The video for the lead single, Shelton Hull mail@folioweekly.com “Enemy,” was banned by MTV after one airing

Chris Jericho leads Fozzy, a once-schlocky bar band out to conquer hard rock

T

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014


A&E // MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

TODD SNIDER 8 p.m. April 23 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $30-$35, 209-0399. HURT 6 p.m. April 23 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $12, 223-9850. STOKESWOOD, JIMKATA, NORTHE, SPORE 8 p.m. April 23 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $10, 353-6067. ROOSEVELT CO LLIER’S BIRTHDAY THROWDOWN: Ivan Neville, Herd of Watts, Parker Urban Band 9 p.m. April 24 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $20, 353-6067. VANCE GILBERT 7:30 p.m. April 24 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. GRIZ, MICHAL MENERT, LATE NIGHT RADIO 8 p.m. April 24 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $15, 246-2473. JANA KRAMER 6 p.m. April 24 at Mavericks at the Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $12.50-$17.50, 356-1110. WHITE CHAPEL, CARNIFEX, WITHIN THE RUINS, CRUEL HAND 6 p.m. April 24 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $15, 223-9850. TAKING BACK SUNDAY, TONIGHT ALIVE, SLEEPWAVE 7 p.m. April 25 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473. YANCY CLEGG, CHUCK NASH, MILLTOWN ROAD, SCOTT & MICHELLE DALZIEL 8 p.m. April 25 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. JACKYL, WARNING, EVICTION, VITAMIN, AFTER BURNER 7 p.m. April 25 at Brewster’s, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $15, 223-9850. KRACKA JAXX 8 p.m. April 25 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, free, 353-1188. COON DOGGIN OUTLAWS 8 p.m. April 25 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. R. KELLY, TAMAR BRAXTON 8 p.m. April 25 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $49-$110, 630-3900. MASTER RADICAL, TOMMY HARRISON GROUP, JAKE CALHOUN & THE CHASERS, MINE ALL MINE, DIRTY AUTOMATIC 8 p.m. April 26 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $8, 246-2473. TEXAS IN JULY, STRUCTURES, ERRA, MYKA, RELOCTE, ELITIST 8 p.m. April 26 at Atticus Bar, 325 W. Forsyth St., Downtown, 634-8813. LARRY MANGUM 7:30 p.m. April 26 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. DICK DALE, DANKA 8 p.m. April 26 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $25, 398-7496. WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Avenged Sevenfold, The Cult, Volbeat, Chevelle, Alter Bridge, Hellyeah, Adelitas Way, Butcher Babies, Memphis May Fire, We as Human, Monster Truck, We Came as Romans, Middle Class Rut, Devour the Day 11 a.m. April 26 at Metropolitan Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, $59.50-$109.50, 630-0839. LAVILLA SCHOOL OF THE ARTS JAZZ BAND, CJ FLUHARTY, JULIE DURDEN, ERIC BOWDEN April 26 at Riverside Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., free, 389-2449. MASSEYVIBE, MATY NOYES, DIRTY AUTOMATIC 8 p.m. April 26 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. ANTIQUE ANIMALS 7:30 p.m. April 27 at Mellow Mushroom, 1018 Third St. N., Jax Beach, 241-5600. TATSUYA NAKATANI 8 p.m. April 27 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., Five Points, $9, 359-0049. SANTANA 7 p.m. April 27 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367. SOLE TOUR: Nate Holley, Flagship Romance, Charlie Walker, Rachael Warfield, Odd Rodd, Matt Still 2 p.m. April 27 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $10, 246-2473. WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Korn, Rob Zombie, Five Finger Death Punch, Staind, Seether, Theory of a Deadman, Black Label Society, Black Stone Cherry, Motionless in White, Skindred, Pretty Reckless, Lacuna Coil, Fozzy, Nothing More, Twelve Foot Ninja Noon April 27 at Metropolitan Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, $59.50-$109.50, 630-0839. BECCA STEVENS BAND 7:30 p.m. April 27 at Underbelly,

FreebirdLive.com

/TU4U +BY#FBDI '-r#*3% 

THURSDAY APRIL 24

POWER IN NUMBERS TOUR

GRIZ

MICHAL MENERT L AT E N I G H T R A D I O FRIDAY APRIL 25

TAKING BACK SUNDAY TONIGHT ALIVE/SLEEPWAVE SATURDAY APRIL 26

MASTER RADICAL

TOMMY HARRISON GROUP

DRINK THE KOOL-AID: The Cult, swearing that a 10th studio album will drop this year, is that rare act that can play Rockville and Coachella and fit in easily at both. The Cult joins Avenged Sevenfold, Motorhead and more than a dozen others for Welcome to Rockville on April 26 and 27 at Metropolitan Park. Noise ordinances be damned. 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $20, 353-6067. CITY BOI, DJ 2LIVE 8 p.m. April 27 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $10, 398-7496. EASY STAR ALL-STARS, PROVERBIAL 8 p.m. April 28 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $15, 246-2473. CHUCK RAGAN & THE CAMARADARIE, JONNY TWO BAGS, BEAU CRUM 8 p.m. April 28 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $18, 398-7496. HARD DAYS NIGHT (Beatles tribute) 7:30 p.m. April 29 at

Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008. ROB THOMAS 8 p.m. April 29 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $68.50-$103, 355-2787. POWERMAN 5000, 9 ELECTRIC, DEAR ABBEY, KOUP D’E TAT 7 p.m. April 29 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $12, 223-9850. M. WARD, MOUNT MORIAH 8 p.m. April 30 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $25, 209-0399. AER 7 p.m. April 30 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave.,

JAKE CALHOUN & THE CHASERS DIRTY AUTOMATIC SUNDAY APRIL 27

MATT STILL’S 2ND ANNUAL

SOLE TOUR

NATE HOLLEY/FLAGSHIP ROMANCE CHARLIE WALKER/RACHAEL WARFIELD ODD RODD THURSDAY MAY 1

MonTuesWed-

MEN’S NIGHT OUT BEER PONG 9PM FREE POOL ALL U CAN EAT CRABLEGS

VEGABONDS/LONDON SOULS DARKHORSE SALOON FRIDAY MAY 2

THE MOVEMENT THE HIP ABDUCTION

TEXAS HOLD ’EM STARTS AT 7 P.M. HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT t,*%4&"5'3&&'30.1. 501. t#6:8*/(4(&5 8*/(4'3&& t13*$&%"11&5*;&34  #"30/-: 1.$-04&

Thurs-

OPEN MIC NITE 9PM 13*$&%%3*/,4 1.".

Fri-

LISA & THE MAD HATTERS 9:30pm 13*$&"114'3* #"30/-: 1. %&$,.64*$1.1.

Sat-

LISA & THE MAD HATTERS 9:30pm

Sun-

%&$,.64*$1.1. LIVE MUSIC 4:30-8:30pm

SATURDAY MAY 3

KNOCK FOR SIX HATCHETFACE

CRASHMIR/BLACK STACHE SUNDAY MAY 4

GREENSKY BLUEGRASS HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL MONDAY MAY 5

EARL SWEATSHIRT (OF ODD FUTURE) TUESDAY MAY 6

CHARLES BRADLEY & HIS EXTRAORDINAIRES UPCOMING

5-11: 5-13: 5-16: 5-19: 5-23: 5-29:

Mike Pinto/B-Side Players The Aquabats/Koo Koo Kangaroo Winery Dogs The 1975/Bad Suns Leftover Salmon Tarrus Riley

APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23


A&E // MUSIC

THE KNIFE San Marco, $15, 398-7496. SUWANNEE RIVER JAM: Brantley Gilbert, Montgomery Gentry, The Mavericks, Chris Cagle, Justin Moore, The Charlie Daniels Band, Colt Ford, The Lacs, JJ Lawhorn April 30-May 3 at Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park, 3076 95th Dr., Live Oak, $45-$90, (386) 364-1683. JOHN LEGEND 8 p.m. April 30 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787. AA DUO 8 p.m. April 30 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, free, 353-1188.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

ON THE ROAD AND BACK AGAIN

I

first met Daryl Hance a dozen or so years ago when I was working on a Folio Weekly cover story on Mofro, the swampy funk band he co-founded with Maxville resident JJ Grey. I would say that Hance was the quiet one, but at that time, every member of Mofro was the quiet one. What was striking about Hance, though, was his ability to establish and hold a deep groove. That’s what Mofro does — groove — and Hance dug in. Hance left Mofro in 2010 to go it alone, bringing with him the swampy roots of his former band while adding some serious country twang. On his 2011 Pine Tar Recordings release, Hallowed Ground, Hance offered a handful of grubby slowburn blues-rockers reminiscent of Neil Young’s grittier tunes. While on the road promoting Hallowed Ground, Hance would often employ a trio, lending a spare but solid foundation for his deliberate soloing. He’s taking a different approach these days, performing solo on his current outing. His show on April 26 at Underbelly puts Hance’s old friend (and former Mofro drummer) Craig Barnette on the throne for a number of songs. But essentially, it’s Hance and his guitar on this tour. Playing solo is a more open approach to performance, Hance says. It offers “the freedom to do whatever I feel at any time, like change arrangements, change songs around, stops, pauses, all sorts of cool things you can do. I guess, in short, it can be more spontaneous.” That kind of spontaneity is happening in Hance’s songwriting as well. In prepping songs for his upcoming record, Hance experienced the song-writes-itself phenomenon, an approach many songwriters have laid claim to, but often have a hard time explaining. “At this point, songs just come to me with very little effort,” he says. “So it seems as though I just have to sit back and let it happen. Don’t really know if you’d call that an approach or not.” Like his former songwriting partner JJ

Grey, Hance has felt the influence of his home here in Northeast Florida. It’s obvious in the front-porch-foot-stomping style he’s continued to investigate as a solo artist in paying tribute to the natural and artistic ecosystems from which he was spawned. The area has been “extremely influential and, probably to the extent of it having an influence, way beyond my understanding at this point in my life,” says Hance. “I do know the ocean, swamps and other water-filled areas, and the forest and woodlands have a profound effect on the sonic landscape. It’s not as evident on Hallowed Ground, probably, but it’s very much reflected on the new album and newer songs and recordings and demos I’ve done.” Hance has become a bit of a road warrior over the past decade, performing clubs and festivals with his trio and as a soloist. Traveling as much as Hance does has a way of infiltrating every aspect of his life. He answered the questions for this interview via email while on the road. When I asked what’s next for him, he took the question quite literally: “In the immediate, I’m fixing to go in the truck stop here in Spartanburg, S.C., to grab a shower, then get some gas and head to Athens. Gonna be shooting my first hi-action video in May for the first single from the new album, called ‘To Hell and Back.’ It’s real wacky. Later in May, I’ll be mixing the album … In between now and then, more shows. I start touring with a band in June. Craig Barnette on drums and Sean Tarleton on bass. They’ll be accentuating the one-man band situation. Kind of a mix between that and straight-up power trio and things in between. Oh, and lots and lots of driving!” 

“Songs just come to me with very little effort.”

24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com

DARYL HANCE 9 p.m. April 26, Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown Jacksonville, 353-6067, underbellylive.com

LARRY MANGUM, JIM CARRICK, CHARLEY SIMMONS May 1, Mudville Music Room BEAR HANDS May 1, Jack Rabbits VEGABONDS May 1, Freebird Live ONWARD, ETC. May 1, Underbelly SAVING ABEL, LIKE A STORM May 1, Brewster’s Megaplex THE MOVEMENT, THE HIP ABDUCTION May 2, Freebird Live MODERN MEASURE, SIR CHARLES May 2, 1904 Music Hall EVERSAY, FIVE KNIVES, FELICITY, WASTED LIGHT May 2, Jack Rabbits GAMBLE ROGERS FEST: Rev. Peyton’s Big Damn Band, The Duhks, Pierce Pettis, Gatorbone, Flagship Romance, WillowWacks, Michael Jordan, Cracker the Box, Colton McKenna, Jig to a Milestone May 2-4, St. Augustine D.A. GUITAR STUDENT RECITAL May 3, Mudville Music Room TREES SETTING FIRES, NOCTURNAL STATE OF MIND May 3, Jack Rabbits HATCHETFACE, CRASHMIR, BLACK STACHE May 3, Freebird Live BRIT FLOYD May 4, The Florida Theatre AMY GRANT May 4, T-U Center's Jacoby Symphony Hall REV. PEYTON’S BIG DAMn BAND May 4, Jack Rabbits ADRENALINE MOB May 4, Brewster’s Megaplex GREENSKY BLUEGRASS May 4, Freebird Live EARL SWEATSHIRT May 5, Freebird Live WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY, ALISON KRAUSS, UNION STATION, JERRY DOUGLAS May 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHARLES BRADLEY & HIS EXTRAORDINAIRES May 6, Freebird Live JOHN WESLEY (of Porcupine Tree) May 7, Jack Rabbits TURKUAZ CD RELEASE SHOWMay 7, Underbelly KATCHAFIRE, MAOLI May 7, Freebird Live LYME IN THE SOUTH MUSIC FEST: Pat DiNizio (of The Smithereens), Alisa Turner, Gregg Kirk (of Zen Engines) May 7, River City Brewing Company JON PARDI, KIMBERLY PAIGE May 8, TPC Sawgrass MARY BRAGG, DIXIE RODEO May 8, Mudville Music Room COMBICHRIST May 8, Brewster’s Megaplex THE HEAD AND THE HEART, LOST IN THE TREES May 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE MAIN SQUEEZE May 8, 1904 Music Hall PROPAGANDA May 9, Murray Hill Theatre THE FAINT May 9, Freebird Live THE FAB FOUR May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLITZEN TRAPPER May 9, Jack Rabbits I SEE STARS, LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES, GHOST TOWN, RAZIHEL, MISS FORTUNE May 9, Brewster’s Megaplex TONY FURTADO, BRENT BYRD May 9, Original Café Eleven PURPLE HATTER’S BALL: Beats Antique, Emancipator Ensemble, The New Mastersounds, The Heavy Pets, The Nth Power, DubConscious, Space Capone, Rising Appalachia, Greenhouse Lounge May 9-11, Suwannee Music Park BEGGAR’S RIDE, MARK MANDEVILLE, RAIANNE RICHARDS May 10, Mudville Music Room MARION CRANE, BLEEDING IN STEREO, GHOSTWITCH May 10, Jack Rabbits LETLIVE., ARCHITECTS, GLASS CLOUD, I THE MIGHTY May 10, Brewster’s Megaplex SMELLS LIKE GRUNGE (Nirvana Cover Band) May 10, Burro Bar GARRETT ON ACOUSTIC, LAUREN FINCHAM WITH BLUE HORSE, COUGAR BARREL May 10, Riverside Arts Market ASHTON TAYLOR, BETHNAY & THE TROUBADOURS, CHELSEA SADDLER May 10, Freebird Live MIKE PINTO, B-SIDE PLAYERS, OJO DE BUEY May 11, Freebird Live SHAI HULUD May 11, Atticus Bar HOLY WAVE May 12, Shanghai Nobby’s FALSETTA, DEAR ABBEY May 12, Jack Rabbits THE AQUABATS!, KOO KOO KANGAROO May 13, Freebird Live CONOR OBERST, DAWES May 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YOU KNEW ME WHEN May 13, Underbelly LAKEVIEW DRIVE, THE KICKDRUMS May 13, Jack Rabbits ODESZA, KODAK TO GRAPH, LEGINGE May 14, Original Café Eleven CHER, CYNDI LAUPER May 14, Veterans Memorial Arena MIKE SHACKELFORD May 14, Mudville Music Room WOODY PINES May 15, Underbelly GLADYS KNIGHT May 16, T-U Center TEGAN & SARA, LUCIOUS, THE COURTNEYS May 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CRAFT BEER FEST: Something Distant May 16, Veterans Memorial Arena THE GIPSY KINGS May 16, The Florida Theatre

THE WINERY DOGS, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKE PORTNOY, RICHIE KOTZEN May 16, Freebird Live SCREAM OUT LOUD, THE OFFER May 17, Murray Hill Theatre CHRIS BOTTI May 17, The Florida Theatre BOONDOX, BUKSHOT, AQUALEO May 17, Brewster’s MARK WILLIAMS & BLUE HORSE, CLARAN SONTAG, PINE FOREST SCHOOL OF THE ARTS May 17, Riverside Arts Market JERRY GARCIA BAND COVER BAND May 17, Jack Rabbits ROCK ON THE RIVER: Fitz & the Tantrums, Kongos, Sleeper Agent, Wild Cub, Orwells May 18, The Jacksonville Landing CANDY KANE May 18, Mudville Music Room SUPERSUCKERS May 18, Jack Rabbits THE 1975 May 19, Freebird Live JACK JOHNSON, ALO May 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DALE CRICER, DELL SUGGS, BOB PATTERSON May 21, Mudville Music Room STAGES & STEREOS, DARLING PARADE, THE ORPHAN THE POET May 21, Jack Rabbits ANTIQUE ANIMALS May 22, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach CRANFORD HOLLOW May 22, Jack Rabbits STYX, FOREIGNER, DON FELDER May 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LEFTOVER SALMON May 23, Freebird Live JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Fusebox Funk, Herd of Watts, Groove Coalition, Heavy Pets, Big Something, Squeedlepuss, Wobbly Toms, Guy & the Yehudas, Goliath Flores, The Dog Apollo, Rickolus, Civil Brute, Jeremiah Johnson, Arvid Smith, Albert Ayler Commemoration May 23, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Moon Hooch, SPORE, Lumagrove, Dewars, Four Families, Canary in the Coalmine, The Frontier Needs Heroes, Snake Blood Remedy, Cougar Barrel, The Weighted Hands, Christina Wagner, The Sh-Booms, Mama Blue, Skeleton Bros., Goliath Flores, Albert Ayler Commemoration May 24, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum BRENT BYRD, SAVANNA LEIGH BASSETT, JORDYN STODDARD May 24, Riverside Arts Market JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Tambor, Naughty Professor, Noisebender & Joe Yorio, JacksonVegas, Parker Urban Band, Project Improv, Willie Evans Jr., Paten Locke, Patrick Evan, Co-Alition, Universal Green, Whole Wheat Bread, All Night Wolves, Taylor Roberts, Albert Ayler Commemoration May 25, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW May 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LUCINDA WILLIAMS May 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall UH HUH HER May 26, Jack Rabbits STEEZ CLICK, NATHAN RYAN, PHAT J, JJ DAMON, POTENT DA ROCKSTAR, PINKYKILLA, THROWDOWN KID May 28, Brewster’s Pit KEVIN GATES May 29, Brewster’s Megaplex TARRUS RILEY May 29, Freebird Live LADIES WITH LYRICS: Julie Durden, Rebecca Zapen, Brenda David May 30, Mudville Music Room MARUTA, PANSPERMIA, CUTE & CUDDLY KITTENS, LEPROSY May 30, Burro Bar BREAD & CIRCUS, DANIEL AMEDEE, BETHANY & THE TROUBADOURS, WEEKEND ATLAS, CATALYST May 30, Jack Rabbits PIPESTONE May 30, Freebird Live TRAVELIN’ LIGHT, DEE ABOOD May 31, Mudville Music Room CHICAGO May 31, Metropolitan Park JESSE MONTOYA, PRETTY POLICE STATE, SPIRAL BOUND, JACOB CREEL May 31, Riverside Arts Market DISPLACE, HOLEY MISS MOLEY May 31, Underbelly U2 BY UV May 31, Freebird Live SWITCHFOOT, THOUSAND FOOT KRUTCH May 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MATT HIRES, THE WILD AFTER, KYLE COX June 1, Jack Rabbits AMERICAN AQUARIUM, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND June 2, Jack Rabbits ANDREW JACKSON JIHAD, CHEAP GIRLS, DOGBRETH June 5, Jack Rabbits SCUM, DMIZE, STATIK OF RX June 6, Brewster’s WEEZER June 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, WATER LIARS June 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GRIM ZIPPER TOUR: Scum, Dmize, Statik of Rx June 6, Brewster’s Megaplex APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION (Guns N’ Roses tribute), RED & WHITE CRUE (Mötley Crüe tribute), Poison’d June 6, Freebird Live ARCHNEMESIS June 6, 1904 Music Hall SONGWRITER’S CIRCLE ANNIVESARY: Larry Mangum, Mike Shackelford, Jamie DeFrates June 7, Mudville Music Room BOSTON June 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHRISTOPHER CROSS June 7, Metropolitan Park P.S. CANCER SUCKS BENEFIT: Parkridge, Rosedale, Winter Wave, Attis on the Pine June 7, Jack Rabbits G-MAYN-FROST, ASKMEIFICARE, XXII, LEGIT, INFAMOUS June 10, Freebird Live THE PAPER JETS June 10, Jack Rabbits THRILL KILL KULT June 10, Brewster’s


A&E // MUSIC TREEHOUSE!, SUN DRIED VIBES, WHO RESCUED WHO June 11, Jack Rabbits ACOUSTIC ALCHEMY June 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MOVE LIVE June 12, Florida Theatre FOXY SHAZAM, LARRY & HIS FLASK June 13, Freebird Live OTTMAR LIEBERT, LUNA NEGRA June 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE CORBITT BROTHERS, LEFTY WILLIAMS BAND, APPLEBUTTER EXPRESS June 13, Underbelly FLORIDA COUNTRY SUPERFEST: Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Eric Church, Miranda Lambert, Florida Georgia Line, Little Big Town, Big & Rich, Easton Corbin, Colt Ford, Joe Nichols June 14-15, EverBank Field AMB, PRAY, RAZORZ EDGE June 14, Brewster’s Roc Bar SHAUN PEACE BAND June 14, Jack Rabbits ROD MacDONALD June 14, Mudville Music Room COUNTING CROWS, TOAD THE WET SPROCKET June 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE ROUGH & TUMBLE June 17, Burro Bar PLASTIC PLANETS June 17, Jack Rabbits ANDY GRAMMER June 19, Freebird Live GYPSY STAR, REBECCA ZAPEN June 19, Mudville Music Room GOO GOO DOLLS, DAUGHTRY, PLAIN WHITE T’S June 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MERCYGIRL, WHOSOEVER SOUTH June 21, Murray Hill Theatre ANDY KING’S SUMMER SOLSTICE SOIREE June 21, Mudville Music Room PAUL McCARTNEY June 22, Veterans Memorial Arena CRANFORD HOLLOW June 25, Jack Rabbits SUMMER HORNS: Dave Koz, Mindi Abair, Gerald Albright, Richard Elliot June 26, The Florida Theatre JIM CARRICK, MAJA GIATANA June 26, Mudville Music Room REBELUTION, IRATION, THE GREEN, STICK FIGURE, DJ MACKLE June 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOSOS June 28, Jack Rabbits THE WOODGRAINS June 29, Jack Rabbits CHRIS HENRY July 3, Mudville Music Room THE PURE ZEPPELIN EXPERIENCE July 4, Freebird Live LEGIT, G MAYN FROST, ASKMEIFICARE, ALCATRAZ, PINKYKILLA, SYLENT VYLENTZ July 12, Freebird Live DAVE MATTHEWS BAND July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena RAY LAMONTAGNE, JENNY LEWIS, THE BELLE BRIGADE July 15, The Florida Theatre

JEREMY MESSERSMITH July 18, Jack Rabbits AMERICAN IDOL LIVE! July 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CULTURAL PROFETICA July 25, Freebird Live YING YANG TWINS July 25, Jack Rabbits EMMYLOU HARRIS July 26, T-U Center FALL OUT BOY, NEW POLITICS July 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE SOULSHINE TOUR: Michael Franti & Spearhead, SOJA, Brett Dennen, Trevor Hall July 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GAVIN DEGRAW, MATT NATHANSON July 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ELLIS PAUL, DONNY BRAZILE Aug. 8, Original CafÊ Eleven ULTIMATE ELVIS BASH Aug. 9, The Florida Theatre CROSBY, STILLS & NASH Aug. 10, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ROCK N’ BLUES FEST: Johnny Winter, Edgar Winter, Vanilla Fudge, Peter Rivera, Kim Simmonds Aug. 14, The Florida Theatre PANIC! AT THE DISCO, WALK THE MOON, YOUNGBLOOD HAWKE Aug. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ZZ TOP, JEFF BECK Sept. 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THREE DOORS DOWN ACOUSTIC Sept. 7, The Florida Theatre CONNECTION FESTIVAL: Kermit Ruffins & the BBQ Swingers, Less Than Jake, Surfer Blood, Whole Wheat Bread, Treme Brass Band, Orquestra el Macabeo, La Quilombera, This Frontier Needs Heroes, Jackie Stranger, Weekend Atlas, Northe, Ego Killer, Jah Elect & the I Quality Band, Universal Green, Orange Air, Alexis Rhode, Ryvls, Professor Kilmure, Ruffians, The Gootch, AskMeIfICare, Dirty Automatic, Woven In, Garrett on Acoustic, Tom Bennett Band, Mondo Mike & the Po Boys, Artilect, Oscar Mike, Kana Kiehm, Parker Urban Band, Knock for Six, Never Ending Struggle Sept. 12-14, Downtown Jacksonville 1964: THE TRIBUTE Sept. 13, The Florida Theatre MOTLEY CRUE, ALICE COOPER Oct. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena CELTIC THUNDER Nov. 15, The Florida Theatre

CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing every Fri. & Sat.

DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Working Class Stiff at 9:30 p.m. every Tue. PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 Buck Smith every Tue. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 DJ Roc every Wed. Honey Badgers every Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

BREWSTER’S MEGAPLEX, 845 University Blvd. N., 223-9850 Hurt April 23. White Chapel, Carnifex, Within the Ruins, Cruel Hand April 24. Jackyl, Jesse Dupree April 25. Powerman 5000, 9 Electric, Dear Abbey, Koup D’e Tat April 29 MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith every Tue. DJ Free every Fri. DJ SuZi-Rok every Mon. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Ivey West April 24. Alex Hayward April 25. Carl & the Black Lungs April 26. Mark O’Quinn April 27. Live music every Sat. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Wes Cobb April 25. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) 200 FIRST STREET, Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Incognito April 25. Jared Harris April 26 BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sun. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Irish music at 6:30 p.m. every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Ginormous J at 10 p.m. April 25. Black Cat Bones 10 p.m. April 26. Red Beard & Stinky E 10 p.m. every Thur. Darren Corlew 1:30 p.m. every Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Wes Cobb every Thur. Charlie Walker every Mon. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Griz, Michal Menert, Late Nite Radio April 24. Taking Back Sunday, Tonight Alive, Sleepwave April 25. Master Radical, Tommy Harrison Group, Jake Calhoun & The Chasers, Mine All Mine, Dirty Automatic April 26. Nate Holley, Flagship Romance, Charlie Walker, Rachael Warfield, Odd Rodd, Matt Still April 27. Easy Star All-Stars, Proverbial 8 p.m. April 28

WEDNESDAY Dan Evans THURSDAY The Druids FRIDAY Str8-Up SATURDAY Pop Muzik SUNDAY Red Beard & Stinky E Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD#FBDIr

APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25


A&E // MUSIC ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Live music every Fri. & Sat. JAXON SOCIAL, 1161 Beach Blvd., 595-5660 Live music every Sat. LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 Open mic every Wed. Matt Still every Thur. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 The Angry Arcade 10 p.m. April 25 & 26. Barrett Jockers every Wed. Split Tone every Thur. Dirty Pete every Sun. Be Easy every Mon. Ryan Campbell every Tue. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Orange Juice April 24. Antique Animals April 27 MEZZA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Mike Shackelford every Thur. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Live music every Fri. NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Honey Badgers April 27. Live music every Wed.-Sun. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Job Meiller April 24 PIER CANTINA, 412 N. First St., 246-6454 Ryan Campbell & Charlie Walker every Fri. Split Tone every Sun. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Dan Evans April 23. The Druids April 24. Str8-Up April 25. Pop Muzik April 26. Red Beard & Stinky E April 27 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Amy Vickery April 25. Crazy Daysies April 26

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Live music every Thur.Sat. & Mon. ATTICUS BAR, 325 W. Forsyth St., 634-8813 Texas in July, Structures, Erra, Myka, Relocte, Elitist April 26 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 677-2977 Coon Doggin Outlaws 8 p.m. April 25. Masseyvibe, Maty Noyes, Dirty Automatic April 26. Live music every Wed.-Sat. DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ NickFresh 9 p.m. every Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Braxton Adamson 5-8 p.m., live music 8:30 p.m. April 25. Live music 8:30 p.m. April 26 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Kracka Jaxx 8 p.m. April 25. AA Duo 6 p.m. April 30. Live music every Thur.-Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110

Jana Kramer, Branch & Dean at 6 p.m. April 24. Joe Buck, Big Tasty every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 353-6067 Stokeswood, Northe, Jimkata, S.P.O.R.E. April 23. Roosevelt Collier Throwdown: Ivan Neville & Dumpstaphunk, Herd of Watts, Parker Urban Band April 24. Becca Stevens Band 7:30 p.m. April 27

Caledonia String Band April 25. Texas in July, Structures, Erra, Elitist, Garrett on Acoustic April 26. Live music Fri. & Sat. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Lavilla School of the Arts Jazz Band, CJ Fluharty, Julie Durden, Eric Bowden, starting at 10:30 a.m. April 26

FLEMING ISLAND

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Jason the Red April 23. Ric Welch April 25. Bret Blackshear April 27 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Mojo Roux April 25. Buffalo Rose 2 p.m., Mojo Roux April 26. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. April 27 CONCH HOUSE, 57 Comares Ave., 829-8646 Paper City Hustlers, Jerry Melfi April 25. Jimmy Parrish Band, Sex Machine Gun April 26. King Eddie & Pili Pili April 27 HARRY’S SEAFOOD, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. April 23 KINGFISH GRILL, 252 Yacht Club Dr., 824-2111 Doug MacRae April 24. Rob Peck April 25 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Live music every Fri. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19-1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 SANGRIA’S, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Live music every Thur. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Red River Band April 25 & 26. Matanzas Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth Sat.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Live music Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Open mic 9 p.m. every Thur. Deck music at 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. Sun. DJ BG every Mon.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Live music every Wed., Fri. & Sat. SALSA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 13500 Beach Blvd., 992-8402 Live guitar music 6-9 p.m. every Tue. & Sat.

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine, 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri. MONKEY’S UNCLE, 10503 San Jose Blvd., 260-1349 Live music April 24

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Live music every Thur.-Sat.

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 820 A1A N., 834-2492 Live music every Fri. & Sat. PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Live music every Wed.-Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Quimby Duo April 23. Gary Starling Jazz Band April 24. The Rubies April 25. Charlie Walker April 26. Live music every Wed.-Sat.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor 8:30 p.m. every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807

ST. AUGUSTINE

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BLACKFINN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music 5 p.m. every Wed., 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 The Wolves of Wall Suite April 25. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Huey Mack April 24. Yancy Clegg, Milltown, Scott & Michelle Dalziel April 25. Dick Dale, Danka 8 p.m. April 26. City Boi, DJ 2live 8 p.m. April 27. Chuck Ragan & the Camaradarie, Jonny Two Bags, Beau Crum 8 p.m. April 28. Aer 7 p.m. April 30 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Vance Gilbert, Josh Harty April 24. Larry Mangum 7:30 p.m. April 26. Hard Days Night 7:30 p.m. April 29

SOUTHSIDE

ISLAND GIRL, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Live music every Fri. & Sat. LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Didactic April 24. TPTS April 25 & 26. Live music every Thur.-Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley, Chilly Rhino April 24. Second Shot April 25. Rusted Diamond April 26 WXYZ BAR, 4812 Deer Lake Dr. W., 998-4448 DJ Bizzi 8 p.m. every other Fri.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DAMES POINT MARINA, 4542 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Live music every Fri. & Sat. HWY. 17 ROADHOUSE, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Live music Fri. & Sat. THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Open mic at 7 p.m. April 24. Live music every Sat. 

JAX BEACH SUNDAY Spade McQuade 6-9 pm WEDNESDAY Jam night with Synyrgy 9-1pm THURSDAY Beatles Music Extravaganza FRIDAY-SATURDAY “Home of the World’s Most Talented Wait Staff” Dinner & Show Music Extravaganza 9pm-Close

MANDARIN MONDAY - THURSDAY Karaoke FRIDAY-SATURDAY “Home of the World’s Most Talented Wait Staff” Dinner & Show 9pm-close

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

Want your band’s concert dates listed here? Email details – date, time, venue, ticket price and … uh … band name – to djohnson@folioweekly.com or mdryden@folioweekly.com. The deadline is 4 p.m. Friday.


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MEAN BOYS Masculine and miserable, ‘Joe’ marks Nicolas Cage’s return to form (finally!) but doesn’t achieve much else

B

it seems, death is the only escape. Can Gary ooze and smokes and meanness. It’s what’s avoid this fate? for breakfast. And lunch and dinner. This is what the men of Joe live on. And if a lad Alas that Joe never really made me hangs around these men long enough, he’ll pick care. David Gordon Green moves back to up some life lessons, like how to make hookers his Southern gothic roots — see George think you have money and how to abuse dogs Washington and Undertow — with a film that while convincing yourself you love dogs and is perhaps more overtly horrific than anything why the cops have it in for an ex-con and how he’s made. (This is far removed from the sweet to have “good” reasons to be violent, like if a oddball dramedy of his most recent film, guy asks if your sister is pretty. Then you can Prince Avalanche.) As Gary’s vicious father, beat him up, and later you get to refer to him as Poulter is terrifying, and his performance is “that guy I beat up by remarkable, particularly the bridge.” for a non-actor — he was living on the streets of By a remarkable Austin when Green cast coincidence, a lot of him, and has since died guys in this unnamed on those same streets. rural Texas town are But it’s a senseless sort of named That Guy I terror: Wade’s an all too Beat Up. realistic monster who Oh, it’s all very commits unspeakable but masculine and mopey all too mundane crimes, the worst of which and miserable. Including the fact that 15-yearwe, the film’s audience, are the only ones who old Gary (Tye Sheridan) is learning his lessons see. If that’s meant to make us appreciate that well. He doesn’t much like his daddy, Wade Gary really, really does need to escape his (Gary Poulter), who’s a useless old drunk — home situation … well, we already had no that’s Gary’s description, and it is extremely doubt about that. The gruesome presentation kind — but that hasn’t stopped him from of Wade’s violent excesses seems internalizing unthinking reflexive salacious. Sheridan, as Gary, is also violence as useful in many social JOE quite good — though he played situations. It’s sad and ironic that **@@ a comparable role in last year’s a better role model for him is Rated R • Playing similarly themed Mud. Joe (Nicolas Cage), who’s merely at Sun-Ray Cinema on his way to being a useless old The other inevitable drunk but hasn’t quite arrived. comparison to Mud is that this We never learn, by the way, what the represents — as that film did for Matthew women live on here, beyond a few hints: either McConaughey — a return to actual actorly a gal has to make her own birthday cake, or she form for Cage. Here, he finally gets away has to become a prostitute. Mostly, women are from the shout-y, cartoony madmen he’s absent, except as a distant, off-screen excuse for been blustering through onscreen for far too one guy to beat up another. long; he hasn’t been this compelling since his magnificent one-two punch in 2005 Anyway. Gary convinces Joe to give him with The Weather Man and Lord of War. But a job on his crew, which is using hatchets the totality of the movie is nowhere near as and machetes and barrels of poison — none rewarding as simply seeing Cage back on too ominous there — to clear a forest of the job. It’s hard to shake the sense that Joe stupid useless trees. “Nobody wants these was constructed around him as a showcase, trees,” Joe explains. “These trees are weak.” because little else about it satisfies.  It’s very metaphoric. All these violent men, doing the clear-cutting through their world MaryAnn Johanson of abject poverty and ignorance from which, mail@folioweekly.com

Either a gal has to make her own birthday cake, or she has to become a prostitute.

© 2013

APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27


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INNER DEMON Cold and creepy mad academic Jared Harris tries to

determine if his subject is possessed or merely psychotic

“W

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

— who definitely Ain’t Right in a horror-movie elcome to the experiment,” says sort of way — approves of her situation, meant seedy-tweedy Professor Coupland to help keep her demons at bay. Are those to his new documentarian, AV geek demons real, or imaginary? Coupland believes Brian — not quite adding “Bwahahahaha!” there’s something scientific and psychiatric, not to the greeting, but you can almost hear it supernatural, behind what appears to be Jane’s anyway. We had already started to suspect that demonic possession, and he’s going to prove the academic is a little bit mad and a little bit his theory and show all those scoffers back in sadistic, with his cold approach to some quite the faculty lounge, bwahahaha. disturbing matters that might rattle even the It’s 1974, and so Brian’s documenting of most rational. Also, he’s Jared Harris, bringing the experiment happens through giant clunky his usual offhand creepiness to the screen in a film cameras, some footage new yet old-fashioned little British horror flick from from which is shared with legendary Hammer Films, us. And though The Quiet THE QUIET ONES which produced a slew Ones in no way purports to **@@ of gothic chillers in the be a Paranormal Activity-style Rated PG-13 • Opens April 25 1950s, ’60s and ’70s and documentary, director John has re-emerged in recent Pogue’s mix of straight-up years with a revival of its narrative and faux-retro, appreciation for spooky atmosphere over faux-found footage adds to the overall blood and gore, most notably (so far) with The spookiness in a way that the usual horrorWoman in Black, starring Daniel Radcliffe (aka flick claim, that what we are witnessing was Harry Potter). “inspired by actual events,” does not. There Here, Brian (Sam Claflin) is not one of aren’t many outright scares here, and when Coupland’s students at Oxford University — they do come, they are curiously circumspect “I’d never get in here,” he laments — which — so as not to bounce the film up into R-rated makes him the perfect outside observer and territory, I suspect. resident skeptic, and our eyes as he (and we) But once the experiment moves to a creaky are introduced to Coupland’s attempts, with the old house out in the remote countryside, assistance of a couple of students/acolytes, to thanks to complaints from neighbors in town cure his “psychotic” subject, Jane Harper (that demon-dampening rock music is really (Olivia Cooke). At first sight, their treatment loud) and to the university pulling Coupland’s of her appears abusive: She is locked in a funding, the old-fashioned Hammer Horror bedroom in a small house in Oxford, covered atmosphere cranks up, and not just because windows keeping the room dark, a prison-like of the ’70s-era fog of cigarette smoke hanging slot in the door for communication and food, over the proceedings. Bwahahaha.  and rock music blaring loudly into her room. It MaryAnn Johanson looks like torture … but it transpires that Jane mail@folioweekly.com


A&E // MOVIES

Photo: IFC Films

UNDEREXPOSED Though imperfect, John Maloof’s documentary takes a revealing

look at a nanny who moonlighted as a photographer and left behind a remarkable, and mysterious, collection

I

t’s no wonder “paradoxical” is the first word uttered in the documentary Finding Vivian Maier to describe its elusive and mysterious subject. Vivian Maier made her living as a nanny for upper middle-class families in Chicago and New York City during the last half of the 20th century. Through a series of

100,000 negatives, 150 homemade movies and almost 3,000 rolls of undeveloped film. Amazingly, Maier had never seen much of her own work. Maloof and co-director Charlie Siskel (best known as a producer of such documentaries as Michael Moore’s Bowling for Columbine

Maier captured the people and places of her time with extraordinary depth, humor and insight. and Bill Maher’s Religulous) devote much of lucky accidents — and the relentless detective their sturdy film to the recounting of Maloof ’s work of amateur historian John Maloof, who co-directed the film — we now know Maier quest to solve the multiple mysteries of was secretly one of the century’s great artists, Maier’s life. They interviewed more than 100 a street photographer whose remarkable work people, ranging from artists who admire her deserves a place in museums alongside that work to the now grown-up kids she raised for of Robert Frank and Walker Evans. But Maier absent parents. The triumph of discovering never showed her work publicly, and even and presenting Maier’s work to the world gives those who thought they knew her assumed way to a final third of the film that dwells her to be a mere hobbyist with a camera. Why too long on the dark side of her character. did her life’s work in photography remain a This was fresh territory for the filmmakers to secret until after her death? And who was explore, but some of this material would be Vivian Maier, anyway? better suited to an exhaustive Finding Vivian Maier seeks biography. A FINDING VIVIAN MAIER published to shed light on these burning 30-second montage of photos ***@ questions, and Maloof is the Maier took on an eight-month Not Rated • Opens April 25 ideal person for the task. world tour only hints at a large at Sun-Ray Cinema Looking for archival photos to subset of her work that deserved illustrate a book he was writing unrushed treatment in the film. about Chicago history in 2007, Maloof went Finding Vivian Maier reveals its true to an auction and purchased a trove of old calling in advocating for Maier’s body of photographs removed from a self-storage work, which predictably has not yet found full facility because of unpaid bills. The images acceptance in the rarified world of fine art. didn’t suit that project, but Maloof sensed he’d But Maier’s art is the kind that requires no found something special — even though he formal training to understand or appreciate — had no background in photography or visual she captured the people and places of her time art. An address on an old envelope later led to with extraordinary depth, humor and insight. him to locals who had known Maier — mostly The chance to see her stunning photographs because they had hired her to watch their projected on the big screen alone is reason kids — and to another huge trove of materials enough to see the film.  that was about to be relegated to a Dumpster. Ken Korman In addition to his prints, Maloof amassed mail@folioweekly.com

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A&E // MOVIES

MAGIC LANTERNS

CHRIST, THESE ARE WEIRD

A

recent headline in the trade mag Variety — “Hollywood’s Growing Faith in Christian Movies” — caught my attention, particularly its subtitle about the “booming business of religious films.” That piece notes that this year, in particular, has been inundated with “an uncommonly large slate of religious-themed wide releases,” with Noah, Son of God, God’s Not Dead and Heaven Is for Real leading the pack. Sidestepping the conventional biblical and historical religious films, I decided to take a look at two movies from the early ’50s that are among the oddest such films ever made. The first, appearing in 1950, was a major studio release from MGM, directed by one-time Oscar-winner William A. “Wild Bill” Wellman, who was described by David O. Selznick’s wife as “a terror, a shoot-upthe-town fellow, trying to be a great big masculine I-don’t-know-what.” In The Next Voice You Hear, the on-screen credits list “James Whitmore as Joe Smith, American” and “Nancy Davis as Mary, His Wife.” Yes indeed, that’s the same Nancy who would later marry Ronald Reagan. Blue-collar Joe, pregnant Mary and their son Johnny are a typical Ozzie-and-Harriettype family who, like everyone else in the world, are startled when the voice of God suddenly begins broadcasting over the radio each night at 8:30 with a short message. This continues for six days, during which hardworking Joe experiences all kinds of struggles, the most dangerous of which includes having too much to drink and being tempted by the wiles of a Scarlet Woman. But thank God, “Joe Smith, American” eventually fights off the temptation and, together with the world at large, is confirmed in his faith and assurance of well-being by God’s nightly fireside chats. Reflecting the post-war unease, The Next Voice You Hear is decidedly hokey but nonetheless competent. Red Planet Mars, released two years later and undoubtedly influenced by its predecessor, is one of the weirdest such movies ever made. In Keep Watching the Skies: American Science Fiction Movies of the Fifties, Bill Warren writes that Red Planet Mars is another “drearily made, ordinarily bad little independent production” that is nonetheless interesting because it is “so far the only hysterically anti-communist religious science-fiction movie.” He’s right! A young Peter Graves (Mission Impossible) starts getting radio signals from Mars that, when decoded, turn out to be from God, who is apparently reigning up there with the Martians. Pandemonium ensues on Earth with the news. The diabolical Russians gleefully exterminate religious opposition until an Orthodox priest, a look-alike for Ayatollah Khomeini, takes over the government, while a jealous former Nazi comes after our hero and his wife who, to save the world for God, threaten to commit suicide by cigarette. Seriously. I’m not kidding. So there’s really nothing new or earthshaking about the latest trend in religiousthemed (blockbuster or otherwise) films, including the quality — some are winners, some are losers.  Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

**** ***@ **@@ *@@@

FILM RATINGS

DIMAGGIO PESCI BIDEN JONAS

OTHER FILMS

PETER GABRIEL: BACK TO FRONT The documentary of Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Gabriel screens at 7:30 p.m. April 23 at AMC theaters, Cinemark and Regal Avenues. fathomevents.com. SUPER DUPER ALICE COOPER The “doc opera” – a blend of documentary archive footage, animation and rock opera – screens in area theaters on April 30. A prerecorded “Keep Calm & Just Ask Alice” Q&A and a greeting from the ol’ snakehandler himself are featured. Check local listings. SHATNER’S WORLD William Shatner’s critically acclaimed one-man show for a one-night event is screened at 7:30 p.m. April 24 at AMC Regency, AMC Orange Park, Cinemark Tinseltown and Regal Avenues. And James Tiberius Kirk, aka T.J. Hooker, aka Denny Crane, himself appears in a special welcome clip. fathomevents.com SUN-RAY CINEMA The Raid 2 screens at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Nymphomaniac Vol. 2 and Finding Vivian Maier start April 25. The TV series Cosmos screens at 9 p.m., and Mad Men at 10 p.m. every Sunday; check for updates. LATITUDE 30 MOVIES Frozen and Monuments Men are currently being screened at Latitude 30’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, facebook.com/latitude30. WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME IMAX THEATER Island of Lemurs: Madagascar 3D, We the People, Jerusalem 3D, Great White Shark 3D and Born to Be Wild 3D are screened at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

BAD WORDS **G@ Rated R Jason Bateman plays Guy Trilby, a mean, eighth-grade dropout with a photographic memory who exploits a loophole he’s found in the Golden Quill Spelling Bee’s annual competition rules and goes on stage with smart children. Competing in the national championship, he runs afoul of administrator Dr. Bernice Deagan (Allison Janney) and director Dr. Bowman (Philip Baker Hall). The only thing in his way is Chaitanya Chopra (Rohan Chand), a precocious 10-year-old Indian-American lad Guy takes out on the town. BEARS Rated G John C. Reilly narrates this family fi lm – a family of Alaskan brown bears, that is. Two cute cubs and their mother, awakened from hibernation, are ready to hit the wilds of Alaska to search for food. Reilly is a good choice for narrator, adding humor and just the right amount of respect as Mama teaches the kids all about a bear’s life. BRICK MANSIONS Rated PG-13 The late Paul Walker stars as an undercover cop determined to set things right in this crime drama set in Detroit. Costars David Belle and RZA. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER ***G Rated PG-13 Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), aka Captain America, hasn’t had time to cope with after-effects of one-way time travel, via cryonic sleep, from the 1940s to the 2010s, but he’s starting to face his disconnect. Costars Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson and Cobie Smulders. And Stan Lee! DIVERGENT Rated PG-13 Beatrice Prior (Shailene Woodley) is labeled a Divergent, a group of misfits considered so dangerous that their destruction is being plotted. So she hooks up with another outcast – Four (Theo James), who’s really just one person. Costars Kate Winslet, Ashley Judd and Zoe Kravitz. DRAFT DAY Rated PG-13 Here in J-ville, we love Draft Day – every year, there’s a chance to get some awesome players added to our already awesome Jaguars roster. Dream on, River City. Costars

NO VAMPIRES IN 5 POINTS: Percussionist Tatsuya Nakatani returns to Sun-Ray Cinema, but this time he won’t be performing a live score to a silent Japanese vampire flick. (That really happened!) As Nakatani plays April 27 in 5 Points, images “stitched together with Scotch tape, hole-punched, scratched, stepped on ...” (we don’t think Sun-Ray is making this up) screen on two hot-rodded 35mm projectors. Kevin Costner, Chadwick Boseman, Jennifer Garner, Deion Sanders, Aaron Goldhammer and Chris Berman. FINDING VIVIAN MAIER ***@ Not Rated • Opens April 25 at Sun-Ray Cinema Reviewed in this issue. GOD’S NOT DEAD Rated PG Josh Wheaton (Shane Harper) is a college student having trouble in philosophy class. Professor Radisson (Kevin Sorbo) doesn’t believe there is a God, shaking Josh’s faith. Costars Dean Cain and Willie Robertson.

man (Greg Kinnear) with a regular wife (Kelly Reilly) whose regular little son (Connor Corum) has a near-death experience and, after recovering, tells his folks what really happened while he was “gone.” Should Daddy go public with this or keep it on the down-low? ISLAND OF LEMURS: MADAGASCAR Rated G Those kinda creepy, kinda cute lil critters with the goo-goo-googly eyes are highly endangered. Primatologist Dr. Patricia Wright is on a mission to keep them around. The IMAX documentary is directed by David Douglas and written by Drew Fellman, with narration by who else but Morgan Freeman. If he can’t help these leapin’ lemurs, nobody can.

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL **G@ Rated R Director Wes Anderson guides a great ensemble cast in this, The Twee-est Story Ever Told, including Edward Norton, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel, Saoirse Ronan, Bill Murray, the adorable Bob Balaban, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Jason Schwartzman and Owen Wilson, through this comedy-drama about Gustave H (Ralph Fiennes), concierge of an elegant European hotel. The tale is largely told by the 1960s version of lobby boy Zero Moustafa, played by F. Murray Abraham, about his time at the hotel and the madcap and seemingly murderous adventures he and Gustave had. A young Zero is portrayed by Tony Revolori.

JOE **@@ Rated R Reviewed in this issue.

A HAUNTED HOUSE 2 Rated R The talented Marlon Wayans seems to be wasting those talents in this comedy-horror sequel, costarring Jaime Pressly, Essence Atkins, Cedric the Entertainer and Missi Pyle.

MAKE YOUR MOVE Rated PG-13 It’s Romeo and Juliet tripping the light fantastic in another kids-dancing-like-their-lives-depend-on-it movie, except this time, they do. Donny (Derek Hough) and Aya (BoA) are young hoofers in love, but doomed – their older brothers each run sketchy clubs where the competition is fierce.

HEAVEN IS FOR REAL Rated PG Based on the bestselling book by Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent, this true-life drama is about Todd, a regular

THE LEGO MOVIE ***@ Rated PG Writers and directors Chris Miller and Phillip Lord’s popular, subversive animated feature about colorful toy bricks teaching life lessons costars the vocal talents of Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Will Arnett, Chris Pratt and Will Ferrell. Hey, did you know that the word Lego is like sheep or deer, in that the plural is also Lego? That’s cool.

MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Rated PG


A&E // MOVIES We remember these guys from the Rocky and His Friends (which included Bullwinkle, who always had the wrong hat) TV cartoon series; Sherman was a human boy, adopted by a scholarly dog, Mr. Peabody. We especially miss the Wayback Machine, which we never knew was actually spelled WABAC. Huh. Costars the voices of Ty Burrell, Allison Janney and Stephen Colbert. MUPPETS MOST WANTED ***@ Rated PG The gang’s back – Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Scooter, Animal, Beaker, Lew Zealand – touring the globe. There’s an evil Kermie look-alike involved in a jewelry heist in Europe, and Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais and Ty Burrell (as humans here) are the bad guys ... or are they? Vocal talents include Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta, David Rudman and Matt Vogel. There’s a bunch of cameos: Sean Combs, Céline Dion, Lady Gaga, Zach Galifianakis, Josh Groban, Salma Hayek, Frank Langella, Ray Liotta, Toby Jones, James McAvoy, Saoirse Ronan, Stanley Tucci ... waitasec ... Josh Groban? NOAH Rated PG-13 Russell Crowe stars as the patriarch acutely aware of the weather – God has told him a great fl ood is coming and he’d better hightail it to the high seas with his family and a lot of animals if he wants to survive. Turns out he’s quite the fighter. Costars Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Nick Nolte, Ray Winstone and Emma Watson. OCULUS Rated R This horror movie, about a young woman trying to blame a murder on a supernatural being so her brother – who’s been convicted of the crime – gets out of jail, was filmed in Mobile, Ala. One scary goddamn place fersure. THE OTHER WOMAN Rated PG-13 Is it just us, or is Cameron Diaz really a slut? A roué named Mark (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) is married, has a girlfriend and has still another in the wings. The women all meet and plot revenge. Boiled rabbit, anyone? Costars Leslie Mann, Kate Upton, Don Johnson (a role model for roués worldwide) and Nicki Minaj.

THE QUIET ONES **@@ Rated PG-13 • Opens April 25 Reviewed in this issue. RIO 2 Rated G City parrots (Jesse Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway) are dropped deep in the Amazonian jungle. The animated kids’ feature costars Andy Garcia, Jamie Foxx and Kristin Chenoweth. SABOTAGE Rated R Serious badass action movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington and Terrence Howard. DEA agents are picked off like so many ducks in a carnival shooting gallery after they piss off some nice drug lords. THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB Rated PG-13 Tyler Perry has churned out another movie-with-a-moral about … duh … unmarried mothers. The ladies (Nia Long, Amy Smart, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Cocoa Brown, Zulay Henao) bond over their kids’ school problems, then become friends. Costars Ryan Eggold, Eddie Cibrian and Terry Crews. SON OF GOD **@@ Rated PG-13 Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, who plays Mary, produced. Costars Sebastian Knapp, Adrian Schiller (Caiaphas), Diogo Morgado (Jesus) and Amber Rose Revah (Mary Magdalene). TRANSCENDENCE **G@ Rated PG-13 This thoughtful almost-sci-fi meditation on the dangers of technology and the megalomania of humanity stars Johnny Depp (don’t fret, Depputees; he gets to wear weird makeup near the end). Costars Rebecca Hall, Paul Bettany and Morgan Freeman. UNDER THE SKIN **** Rated R Director Jonathan Glazer’s sci-fi-slash-horror film is about a beautiful woman (the now-ubiquitous Scarlett Johansson) who’s outta this world! The femme fatale roams the city streets and alleys seducing men – and then something bad happens, because men are never that lucky. 

ISN’T THIS ORIGINAL? In The Other Woman, Carly (Cameron Diaz, second from right) learns her boyfriend is a three-timing married cad and plots revenge with his wife Kate (Leslie Mann, left) and his other girlfriend Amber (Kate Upton, right), because that’s what women do in poorly scripted comedies. Lydia (Nicki Minaj) is just eye-candy. Photo: Twentieth Century Fox

AREA THEATERS

AMELIA ISLAND Carmike 7, 1132 S. 14th St., Fernandina Beach, 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS Sun-Ray Cinema@5Points, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Regal River City, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinegrille Theater, Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX

APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31


A&E // ARTS PERFORMANCE

THE COLOR PURPLE The play, based on Alice Walker’s novel, is staged 8 p.m. April 23-25, 1:15 p.m. April 26 and 2 p.m. April 27 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$55, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. MILLION DOLLAR QUARTET Artist Series presents the Broadway musical about a recording session: Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins, April 23-27, T-U Center, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $32-$77, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org. HILDA’S YARD Norm Foster’s play is about empty-nesters whose two children return. 7:30 p.m. April 24, 8 p.m. April 25 and 26 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, $20-$25, 396-4425, theatrejax.com. NICE PEOPLE DANCING Eve Wilfong, who lives over the Nice People Dancing to Good Country Music Bar, is visited by her niece, a novice nun leaving the convent. 8 p.m. April 24-26 and 2 p.m. at ACT’s Studio 209 Theatre, 209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, $10-$20, 261-6749, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. THE LYONS At her dying husband’s bedside, Rita Lyons reads glossy magazines, planning to redecorate when he’s gone; 8 p.m. April 25-26 at Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $20-$23, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org. OTHER DESERT CITIES Brooke goes home to tell her parents her memoir is coming out; 8 p.m. Thur.-Sat., 2 p.m. Sun., April 24May 11, Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $10-25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. CELEBRATION OF ACHIEVEMENT Laurie Picinich-Byrd, The Florida Ballet artistic director, is honored for 35 years of service. Her former student Davis Robertson, Joffrey Ballet Concert Group artistic director, stages a performance by Florida Ballet dancers, 8 p.m. April 25, University of North Florida’s Lazzara Hall, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, $20-$38, 620-1000, unf.edu. A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM Literature and dance collide in this production based on Shakespeare’s comedy; 2 and 7 p.m. April 26 and 2 p.m. April 27 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $30, 745-3000, pvconcerthall.com. BRAZILIAN NIGHT & SAMBA AXE Cuba Libre Bar holds Brazilian Night: Samba Axe, Capoeira, Dance AXE, Maculele, Samba de Roda, Forro, April 26, Havana Jax Café, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, $10, 399-0609. JACKSONVILLE MASTERWORKS CHORALE A free children’s concert, A Day at the Zoo, is staged 6:30 p.m. April 28 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722, jmcsings.wordpress.com. THE ADDAMS FAMILY Artist Series presents the Broadway musical comedy, 8 p.m. May 2 at the T-U Center, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $32-$102, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org.

COMEDY

FINESSE MITCHELL Mitchell, just off Shaq All Star Comedy Tour, is on 8 p.m. April 24-26, 10 p.m. April 26, The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $15-$18, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. DANNY NIBLOCK Comedian Niblock is on 8 p.m., April 25 and 26 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555. MILT ABEL Abel is on 8:04 p.m. April 24, 8:34 p.m. April 25, 8:04 & 10:10 p.m. April 26, Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $6-$25, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

© 2014

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

DRUM CIRCLE The Performers Academy hosts a free drum circle, 5:30 p.m. April 23 at 3674 Beach Blvd. Bring a drum or percussion instrument or borrow a Performers Academy instrument. 624-0551, theperformersacademy.com. RETHREADED Kristin Keen of Rethreaded shares her story, 6:30 p.m. April 23 at Mandarin Branch Library, 3330 Kori Road, free, 262-5201, jaxpubliclibrary.org. IMPROVISATION FOR IMPROV TEENS Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre holds an improvi workshop for grades 9-12 at 3 p.m. every Thur., April 24-June 5 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $160, 249-7177, abettheatre.com. SELL ART NOT HUMANS Flagler College holds a silent art auction featuring pieces donated by local artists and students. Proceeds benefit World Relief Jacksonville in combating human trafficking. 6 p.m. April 24 at Crisp-Ellert Art Museum, Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8350, flagler.edu./crispellert. NATIVE AMERICAN FLUTE WORKSHOP Beginner’s workshop 7 p.m. April 24 at Amiro Art & Found, 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, $40, registration required, 824-8460, amiroartandfound.com. INTERNATIONAL EXHIBITION EXPERIENCE Mary Atwood discusses doing a solo show, 10 a.m. April 26, TAC II, 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, $30-$40, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org. PRAYERS FOR A TRANSFORMATION Sarah Crooks Flaire’s workshop, part of mixed-media exhibit Transmigration, is 11 a.m.-3 p.m. April 26. Transmigration is in conjunction with Green Revolution: Renewed, through May 4 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, $8-$10, 396-6674, themosh.org. AUDITIONS FOR THE WIZ Stage Aurora Performance Hall auditions ages 8-20, 3 p.m. April 26 and 27 at 5188 Norwood Ave., Edgewood, 765-7373, stageaurora.org. IMPROV FOR ADULTS Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre’s workshop is 2 p.m. April 27 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $55, 249-7177, abettheatre.com.

CLASSICAL & JAZZ

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

THE FIREBIRD Soviet music (Stravinsky, Prokofiev, Khachaturian, Shostakovich) 8 p.m. April 25 and 26, Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $25-$59, 633-6110, jaxsymphony.org. SUNDAY INTERMEZZO CONCERT Faculty artists M. Brent Williams (Valdosta State University), violin, and Douglas Jurs (Baldwin Agricultural College), piano, perform works from Porgy

CATCH ME!: Florida Ballet artistic director Laurie Picinich-Byrd is honored for her work in dance for Jacksonville with Joffrey Ballet Concert Group artistic director Davis Robertson, her former student, staging a performance by Florida Ballet dancers, April 25 at UNF’s Lazzara Hall. Photo: Lois Greenfield and Bess 3 p.m. April 27 at Main Library, 303 Laura St. N., Hicks Auditorium, free, 630-2665, jplmusic.blogspot.com. CHRISTINA ALTAMURA The international concert pianist performs 3 p.m. April 27 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Riverside, 355-7584, fridaymusicale.com. VADYM KHOLODENKO 2013 international piano competition gold medalist Kholodenko plays, part of Beaches Fine Arts Series, 4 p.m. April 27 at St. Paul’s by-the-Sea Episcopal Church, 465 11th Ave. N., Jax Beach, 249-4091, beachesfinearts.org. JACKSONVILLE SYMPHONY YOUTH ORCHESTRA The season finale concert, 7 p.m. April 28 at Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $5-$10, 633-6110, jaxsymphony.org. THE ROCK TENORS Part of the Coffee series, Jacksonville Symphony lauds McCartney, Sting, Freddie Mercury; guest artist Rob Evans, 11 a.m. May 2 and 3, Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $5-$10, 633-6110, jaxsymphony.org.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts, local produce, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. April 25, Jax Landing, Downtown, 353-1188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET LaVilla Jazz Band, CJ Fluharty, Julie Durden, Eric Bowden, local/regional art, food, farmers market, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. April 26 under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. UPTOWN SATURDAY NIGHT Self-guided tour of galleries, antique stores and shops, 5-9 p.m. April 26 in St. Augustine’s San Marco District, 824-3152.

MUSEUMS

ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 256-7371, arts. ju.edu. Senior thesis work: 2-D art, sculptures, animated shorts, screenplays, film productions, through April. AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. Beaches, Creatures and Cowboys, posters and lobby cards, through April. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Waiting for the Train: Henry Flagler & the Florida East Coast Railroad, through June 1. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Riverside, 356-6857, cummer.org. Painting’s artistic and devotional contexts in 21 works, 19 from collections in the U.S. and Germany. One Family: Photographs by Vardi Kahana, through April 27. FSU professor William Walmsley displays works through July 8. The Human Figure: Sculptures by Enzo Torcoletti, through September. A Commemoration of the Civil Rights Movement: Photography from High Museum of Art, through Nov. 2. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org. Mark Twain, letters, writings, illustrations, through April 26. Breaking Free: Dark Energy, Dark Matter, oil on canvas paintings by Margaret Schnebly Hodge, through April 29. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Leigh Murphy’s watercolor exhibit Observing Objects, through May 11. Shaun Thurston’s Project Atrium: One Spark, through June 6. Students from MOCA’s educational outreach program, Rainbow Artists: Art and Autism display work through June 1. New York Times Magazine Photographs, curated by Kathy Ryan and Lesley Martin, opens April 25 at 7 p.m.; through Aug. 24. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Uncovering the Past:

Archaeological Discoveries of North Florida, through August. Mixed-media exhibit Transmigration, in conjunction with Green Revolution: Renewed, through May 4.

GALLERIES

AMIRO ART & FOUND GALLERY 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, 824-8460, amiroartandfound.com. Jan Tomlinson’s Mirror, Mirror, of vintage etched mirrors, through April. THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757, tacjacksonville.org. The Woods exhibit, artwork using wood to depict forests and trees, through May 6. Wood – Depictions and Transformations, through May 7. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, butterfieldgarage.com. Works by junior and senior Flagler students, through April. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Beyond the Beaten Path, David Ponsler’s sculptures, George Wilson’s photos, through May 9. Jacksonville Coalition for the Visual Arts Spring Show, through May 9. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. Joan Carver’s watercolors, pastels and oils in Color It Coastal runs through May 20. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 425-2845, floridamininggallery.com. Craig Drennen’s Awful & Others, based on Shakespeare’s Timon of Athens, through May 2. GALLERY725 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 345-9320, gallery725.com. Water. Fire. Wood, works by Tonsenia Yann, Ken Daga, Matthew Winghart, Linda Olsen and Flew, through May 17. Winghart’s Wall Candy through May 3. HASKELL GALLERY & DISPLAY CASES JIA, 14201 Pecan Park Rd., Northside, 741-3546. Keith Doles’ Street Series and Street Corners, through June 29. Dorian Eng’s Chinese and Japanese art, Temari and Yubinuki, through July 7. Marsha Glaziere’s Eclectic Coffee Spots in Puget Sound, through July 5. THE LOOKING LAB 107 E. Bay St., Downtown, 917-239-3772. Art in Empty Store Fronts features multimedia video art and sculptures by Crystal Floyd and David Montgomery. LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY University of North Florida, 1 UNF Dr., Southside, 620-2475. The 2014 Art & Design Senior Exhibition is on display through May 2. PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Amelia Village Circle, 432-1750, artamelia.com. Edibeth Farrington’s paintings, through May 10. SAWGRASS VILLAGE ARTS GALLERY 1520 Sawgrass Village Dr., Ponte Vedra, 273-4925, villageartspvb.com. David McCormick’s black-and-white photography, and paintings by Randy and Debra Brienen, through April. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. Spring Members show, work by local artists, through April 27. The Florida Artist Group opens its annual juried exhibit at First Friday Art Walk, 5-9 p.m. May 2; through May. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. Light Sensitive V, a UNF photography portfolio exhibition, through April. Face to Face by figure and portrait artist Tony Wood and Clean Water by landscape artist Allison Watson are featured as part of a mural project on display during One Spark. space:eight GALLERY 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838, spaceeight.com. Features lowbrow, pop surrealism, street and underground art by nationally and internationally acclaimed artists. 


DINING DIRECTORY To have your restaurant listed, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor, 904.260.9770 ext. 111 staylor@folioweekly.com DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner *Bite Club certified = Hosted a free Folio Weekly Bite Club tasting. Join at fwbiteclub.com. BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919. F In historic downtown, the popular bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in an upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269. F In a historic building, family-owned spot serves worldly taste fare: homemade veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-fromscratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub offers beer brewed onsite. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311. Owners Luke and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto; house specialties are chicken Ciao, homemade-style meat lasagna. $ L Fri. & Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049. In Historic District. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ FB D Nightly DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444. F In a renovated 1887 shotgun house. Favorites: jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan, vegetarian selections. Dine inside or on the porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE, 11 S. Seventh St., 432-8394. F Creative lunch: po’boys, salads, little plates served in a historic house. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp. Reservations recommended. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, with more than 20 toppings, are served by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141. Awarded Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes and breads. Everything’s made from scratch. $ TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132. Bite Club certified. Omni Amelia Island Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue has an innovative menu: whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811. F See ICW sunsets from second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, original broiled cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652. F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves award-winning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 19 & 20, 745-9301. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966. F BOJ winner. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge. Wi-Fi, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790. F In Green Man Gourmet, this shop has wines, spices, fresh fruit ice pops and Belgian chocolates. See Ponte Vedra. $$ TO ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE, 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40, 388-4884. F Churrascaria gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sun. THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 4530 St. Johns Ave., 388-8828. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 3611 St. Johns

Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 Pinegrove Ave., 389-8655. F BOJ winner. For 40+ years serving hearty fare: Cuban sandwiches, burgers, subs, wraps, homemade chicken salad, in a family spot. Onsite butcher shop cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., Ortega, 387-1000. F Down-home cooking from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA, Ste. 3, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000. F Family-owned-andoperated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, strombolis, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs, desserts. Delivery. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8206 Philips Hwy., Baymeadows Junction, 732-9433. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily PIZZA PALACE RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649. F Relaxed, family-owned place serves homestyle cuisine. Local faves include spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining; HD TVs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 8133 Point Meadows Dr., 519-0509. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676. Chefs combine Asian methodology with European template to create dishes like tandoori lamb chops and rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items are cooked separately in vegetable oil. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002. F BOJ winner. Celebrating more than 20 years, Al’s is a repeat Best Pizza winner in the annual BOJ readers’ poll. New York-style and gourmet pizzas. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily BREEZY COFFEE SHOP CAFE, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211. F Casual, family-owned shop serves fresh-baked goods, espressos, locally roasted coffees, vegan and gluten-free options. Sandwiches, local beer. $ BW K TO B R L Daily BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients, beautifully presented. $$ FB TO L D Daily CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000. F Familyowned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made in-house. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356. F BOJ winner. Locally owned and operated for 15+ years, this casual place serves half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, award-winning cheddar fries and sangria. $ BW K L D Daily ENGINE 15 BREWING CO., 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337. F  BOJ winner. Gastropub fare: soups, flatbreads, sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Craft beers and brew groups. $ FB K L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. F Fusion of Latin American and Southwestern-influenced fare: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. Outdoor seating. $ FB L D Daily LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024. F Locally owned & operated. Fresh, off-the-boat local seafood, fish tacos, houseground burgers, wings, handcut fries, tater tots; daily specials. $$ FB K L D Daily; R Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 N. Third St., 247-9620. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-2922. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. Hoagies, salads, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 beers on tap. Nonstop happy hour. $ BW K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-5573. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat.

Chef Brian Shreve, at the Mezza Restaurant & Bar in Neptune Beach, presents sea scallops with celery root purée, apple-radish salad and saffron-seafood broth emulsion, and ahi tuna with fennel confi t, brussels sprout leaves, salsify and pistachio crumble. Photo: Dennis Ho MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. F BOJ winner. Funky Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-2599. F BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure flippin’ burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, familiar fare, moderate prices. Dine inside or outside. $$ BW L D Daily POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637. F American gastropub named for the poet. 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877. F For 30 years, popular seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 246-0881. Beachcasual atmosphere. Customer faves: fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, homemade ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000. F BOJ winner. Full-service bar (with more than 20 beers on tap), TV screens covering entire walls and cheerleaders serving the food. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily

DOWNTOWN

AMERICAN GRILL, Jacksonville Landing, 353-7522. Fullservice restaurant serves traditional fare: pot pies, steaks, burgers, pizza, pot roast, vegetarian dishes. $$ BW L D Daily BENNY’S STEAK & SEAFOOD, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 175, 301-1014. This steak-and-seafood house serves Continental cuisine with such signature dishes as the Filet Christian. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ NOLA at MOCAJax, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911. F Shrimp & grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. $$ FB L Mon.-Fri.; D Thur. & ArtWalk CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 36+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $$ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, Jax Landing, 354-7747. F Chicago-style deep-dish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from Chicago’s Comastro family. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Eats at moderate prices – most less than $10. Chef-inspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Fri. & Sat. CINCO DE MAYO, Jax Landing, 329-2892. Authentic yet mild dishes: fajitas, tacos, burritos, enchiladas. Dine indoors or outside. $$ FB L D Daily FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547. BOJ winner. This pub offers casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily HOOTERS, Jax Landing, Ste. 103, 356-5400. The chain, popular for its waitresses, features wings, steamed shrimp, oysters, burgers, seafood, sandwiches. $$ FB TO L D Daily KOJA SUSHI, Ste. 222, Jax Landing, 350-9911. F BOJ winner. Owners John and Tony, in the sushi game for 10+ years, offer sushi, sashimi, and Japanese, Asian, Korean cuisine. Hard-to-find items like baby octopus salad, too. Dine inside or out. $$ FB L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly VILLAGE BREAD CAFE, Ste. 175, Jax Landing, 683-7244. Locally owned; bagels, omelets, sandwiches on homestyle bread, salads, pizzas, pastries. $ TO B L Mon.-Sat. VITO’S ITALIAN CAFE, Jax Landing, Ste. 174, 355-3002. Traditional Italian and Mediterranean menu: pasta, steak and

seafood entrées. Desserts, including tiramisu and cannoli, are homemade. Daily happy hour. $ FB L D Daily ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283. American favorites and Mediterranean fare in a casual atmosphere; panini, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB L Mon.-Fri

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. See Riverside. $ BW TO Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100, 215-2223. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 1605 C.R. 220, 278-9421. F 50+ premium domestic, imported beers on tap. Starters, burgers, sandwiches, entrées, made to order with fresh ingredients. Lots of TVs for watching sports. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater river catfish, daily specials, traditional meals, on Swimming Pen Creek. Outdoor Tiki bar. Come by boat, motorcycle or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.Sun.; D Nightly

INTRACOASTAL WEST

4 BONES BARBECUE, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 20, 419-9855. Classic Southern barbecue: Pulled pork, brisket, chicken, turkey, ribs, chorizo served market-style by the pound. Mac ’n’ cheese, baked beans, cole slaw, green beans. Specialty sandwiches, banana pudding. $ K TO L D Tue.-Sat. AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily THE TENT HOOKAH LOUNGE, 12041 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4, 551-2962. Authentic fare, hookahs and flavored tobacco, specials and live belly dancing and floor seating, in keeping with that authenticity thing. Open late. $ BW L D Daily TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999. F Locally-owned-and-operated grill serves hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps in a clean, sporty atmosphere. Daily drink specials, HD TVs, pool tables, darts, trivia. Late-night menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, St. Johns, 825-4540. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, St. Johns, 819-1554. F See Fleming Island. $$ FB K L D Daily

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F From the dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) to the baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Athens has all the favorites. Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 1, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily

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THE BIG CHEESE How to concoct the perfect © 2014

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34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

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itamin-rich calcium. Strong bones. Hunger-busting protein. That’s why I eat cheese — right? Of course not. I eat cheese because it’s absolutely delicious, and because there are so many varieties. We’re not talking Velveeta or slices of that fluorescent Kraft-processed-whatever-it-is or the shakers of grocery-store Parmesan you dumped on your spaghetti as a kid. There are so many kinds of cheese to choose from — luxurious creamy cheeses, hardy firm aged cheeses, stinky blues — all begging to join your plate. © versatility, 2014 constructing your Because of that own winning cheese plate may be daunting. It’s not; in fact, it’s surprisingly simple. Start by limiting the varieties. Stick with a trio. Since contrast is important, include one of each: soft, firm and blue, which will provide a nice assortment of flavors (salty, nutty, buttery, sweet, earthy, smoky, fruity) and textures. If you want four kinds, consider making one of your soft selections a goat cheese (soft and spreadable,) and another brie. Cheeses with different textures — take that soft, creamy brie, for example — can be used to offset a firmer Gouda or Gruyere. Try a triple cream (so smooth!) called St. Andre. If you’re in the mood to go blue, opt for maximum flavor by grabbing a Stilton, Maytag Blue or Roquefort. Be open. Experiment. You really can’t screw this up. There are no rules. Just be sure that you have several flavors and textures, and keep in mind that each

cheese should have a separate spreader so you don’t mix discordant flavors. Once your trio is picked, label your selections. (Think chalk on a blackboard cheese tray or insert small toothpick flags with your selections’ names on them into the cheeses.) If your guests fall in love with one of your choices — and why wouldn’t they? — they’ll easily be able to learn its name, origin and type. Remember that most cheeses are at their best when served at room temperature. Set them out about 45 minutes prior to devouring. Proper accompaniments are also important. I’d recommend something crunchy, like a generous handful of walnuts or candied pecans, something crisp like slices of toasted baguette or a stack of wafer-thin crackers, and something sweet and crunchy — I’m looking at you, Granny Smith apple slices. Or go crazy and add dried apricots, grapes, raspberries or blueberries for a fun burst of color, along with a small dish of honey (or truffled honey) to add a bit more sweetness. And include tiny gherkin pickles along with pearled onions and grainy mustard. Or maybe try out a chunky chutney or fig preserve. Once you’ve mastered your first cheese compilation, begin to incorporate more varieties and accompaniments.  Caron Streibich biteclub@folioweekly.com facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized


GRILL ME!

DINING DIRECTORY A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

NAME: Chip Richard

MOXIE KITCHEN + COCKTAILS, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744. Chef Tom Gray’s new place features innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, salads, sides and desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly MSHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ BW L D Daily OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730. BOJ winner. Comfortable, chic place has tapas and small plates of Spanish and Italian flavors: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese. 240-bottle wine list, 75 by the glass, craft spirits. Outdoor dining; bocce court. $$ FB R, Sun.; D Nightly

RESTAURANT: The Blind Fig, 901 King St., Riverside BIRTHPLACE: Sparta, N.J. YEARS IN THE BIZ: 15 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): The Blind Rabbit, Jax Beach FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: International FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Fresh herbs, beer, anything local! IDEAL MEAL: Barbecue with my beautiful wife and kids. And with plenty of beer.

SAN JOSE, LAKEWOOD

INSIDER’S SECRET: Don’t take shortcuts and use traditional methods. CULINARY TREAT: Fried eggs over kale salad HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040. F American-style steakhouse features Angus steaks, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU JAPANESE RESTAURANT, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903. The new place has a wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ FB TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some locations offer a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773. F This casual, family-friendly eatery serves pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers and pasta dishes. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 292-2300. F Casual New York-style pizzeria. Calzones, antipasto, parmigiana, homemade breads. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959. Southernstyle dining. Specialties: New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. KRISTIN’S ON THE RIVER, 2511 Blanding Blvd., 389-9455. This newly re-opened spot serves seafood and American favorites. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789. F All over the area, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611. F Wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 35+ years. Pool tables, dartboards, foosball, TVs. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily

PONTE VEDRA, NW ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790. Hand-crafted in the onsite factory, with premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts and spices. Cookies and popsicles. Claude’s will ship your order. $$ TO LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797. Chef David Medure creates with a wide range of global flavors. The lounge offers small plates, creative drinks and entertainment, including happy hour twice daily. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793. BOJ winner. Orsay’s sister restaurant serves New American favorites with a Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Awesome rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to roasting coffee. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 234-8843, facebook.com/ cornertaco. Made-from-scratch “semi-swanky street food” – tacos, nachos and salads, plus gluten-free and vegetarian options, in a bricks-and-mortar building. $ BW L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 5972 San Juan Ave., Westside,

693-9258. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474. F BOJ winner. Juice bar has cer tified organic fruit, vegetables. Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beer, organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS, 1001 Park St., 508-0342. The new spot is based on Asian street vendors. A collection of hawker recipes is served under one roof. $ BW TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., Westside, 446-9500. 8102 Blanding Blvd., Westside, 779-1933. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ winner. See Amelia Island. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434. F Southwestern dishes like fresh fish tacos and chicken enchiladas are popular. Happy hour runs Mon.-Sat. in the upstairs lounge, and all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300. F Traditional Irish fare like shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese and, of course, fish-n-chips. Outdoor patio dining is available. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition Ale Works), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily AVILES RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277. F Hilton Bayfront Hotel. Progressive Europeanflavored menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, deluxe breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. Free valet. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CANDLELIGHT SOUTH, 1 Anastasia Blvd., 819-0588. F Brand-new on the island, the casual restaurant originally in Scarsdale, N.Y., offers fish tacos, sandwiches, wings, desserts and sangria. Daily specials. $ BW K TO L D Daily CARMELO’S MARKETPLACE & PIZZERIA, 146 King St., 494-6658. F New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. Inside The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, a coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655. Updated Southern fare: fresh, local ingredients from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free options. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., Anastasia Island, 824-8244. F A mainstay for a quarter-century, Gypsy’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish is Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765. F New Orleans-style. Cajun, Creole, Southern flavors with a modern twist: fresh seafood, steaks, pork, jambalaya, shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 155 Hampton Point Dr., 230-7879. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818. F BOJ winner. Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ unique sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, H awaiian-style poke tuna salad. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. The newish fusion restaurant specializes in healthful American fare with a Latin flair. $$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1, 737-2874. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688. F New upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO B L D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK, ST. NICHOLAS

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BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190. F Pad Thai, curries, sushi, served in a relaxing environment. Dine indoors or on the patio. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. For questions, please call your advertising THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Varied tapas menu of artisanal cheese plates, FAX YOUR PROO empanadas, bruschettas, homestyle cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1631 Hendricks Ave., 399-1768. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922. Matthew Produced by _K PROMISE OF BENEFIT ASK FOR ACTION Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, European-style atmosphere.SUPPORT Artfully presented cuisine, small plates, extensive martini/ wine lists. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, homemade soups. $$ B R L Daily PIZZA PALACE 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F See Baymeadows. $$ BW TO L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE

360° GRILLE, LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555. F Seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Dine inside, on patio. $$ FB TO L D Daily ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212. Longest-running dinner theater features Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s menus coordinated with stage productions. Reservations suggested. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd., 619-8186. F See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. In Watami. All-you can-eat sushi, choice of two items from teppanyaki grill. $ FB K L D Daily. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F See Orange Park. BOJ winner. $ K TO B L D Daily MANGIA! ITALIAN BISTRO & BAR, 3210 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 551-3061. F Chef/owner Tonino DiBella offers fine dining – fresh seafood, veal, steaks, New York-style pizza, desserts. Happy hour Mon.-Sat. Patio. $$$ FB K TO L D Mon.-Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F See Beaches. Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. $ BW K TO L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Pkwy. N., 997-1999. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts award-winning freshly brewed ales and lagers. Inside, outdoors. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929. F Apps and bar food: German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips, fl atbreads. Craft drafts from Germany, California, Florida (Bold City brews), Ireland, Belgium. $$ BW L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. F BOJ winner. NASCAR-themed spot has 365 kinds of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main, 356-3100. F Fresh Mexican fare: fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour daily; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, twist of Mediterranean and French at Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, New York strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. Rainforest Lounge. $$$ FB K B L D Daily. 

APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35


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ARIES (March 21-April 19): If, for some Salesinexplicable Rep RE_reason, you’re not simmering with new ideas about how to drum up more money, I don’t know what to say – except maybe your mother lied about exactly when you were born. Astrological omens are virtually unequivocal: If you’re a true Aries, you’re now being invited, teased and even tugged to increase the cash flow and bolster financial know-how. If you can’t ferret out at least one opportunity to get richer quicker, you might really be a Pisces or Taurus. And my name’s Jay Z.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The supreme pleasure we can know, Freud said, and the model for all pleasure, orgasmic pleasure, comes when an excess tension built up, confined, compacted, is abruptly released.” That’s an observation by philosopher Alphonso Lingis. You soon harvest a psychospiritual version of that supreme pleasure. You’ve been gathering and storing raw materials for soul-making; now it’s time to express them with a creative splash. Ready to purge your emotional backlog? Brave enough search for cathartic epiphanies? What has been dark will yield light.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You remind me of a garden plot recently plowed and rained on. Now the sun’s out; it’s warm. The dirt’s wet and fertile. It’s a bit unsettled; the stuff that was underground was churned to the top. Instead of a flat surface, there are furrows. The overall mood is expectant. Magic is in the air. Soon, it’ll be time to grow new life. One thing’s missing: The seeds have yet to be sewn. That will happen soon. Right?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The turning points that might erupt in the days ahead won’t become actual turning points unless you work hard to activate them. They’ll be subtle and brief, so you’ll have to be very alert. You’ll have to move quickly before they fade away. Another complication: These incipient turning points may not resemble any you’ve seen. They may come in the form of a lucky accident, a blessed mistake, a happy breakdown, a strange healing or a perfect weakness.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): An excerpt from Louise Gluck’s poem “Celestial Music”: “I’m like the child who buries / her head in the pillow / so as not to see, the child who tells herself / that light causes sadness.” One main assignment in the weeks ahead is to not be like that child. It’s true that gazing at what light reveals may shatter an illusion or two, but the illumination you’ll be blessed with is ultimately valuable than gold. ©more 2014

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you happen to be an athlete, next week is not a good time to headbutt a referee or take performanceenhancing drugs. If you hate to drive your car anywhere but in the fast lane, you’ll be wise to try the slower lanes for a while. If you’re habitually inclined to skip steps, take short cuts and look for loopholes, instead try being thorough, methodical and by-the-book. In this phase of your astrological cycle, you have a better chance at producing successful results if you’re more prudent. What?! A careful, discreet, judicious Sagittarius? Sure!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Would you like to forge new alliances, expand your web of connections and get more support to fulfill your dreams? You’re entering the Season of Networking, so now is a great time to gather clues to accomplish all that. To get you started, here’s advice from Dale Carnegie: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

©

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Does Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt run faster than anyone alive? As far as we know, yes. He holds three world records and has won six Olympic gold medals. Even when he’s a bit off his game, he’s the best. At 2008’s Beijing Summer Olympics, he set the all-time mark for the 100-meter race – 9.69 seconds – even though one shoelace was untied and he slowed down to celebrate before reaching the finish line. Like you, Bolt’s a Leo. And he’s both your role model and your anti-role model for the foreseeable future. You have the power to achieve something approaching his levels of excellence 2014 in your field – especially if you double-check to make sure your shoelace is never untied and you don’t celebrate victory before it’s won. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In his unpublished book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, John Koenig coins new words that convey experiences our language hasn’t accounted for. One that may apply to you soon is “trumspringa,” which he defines as “the temptation to step off your career track and become a shepherd in the mountains, following your flock between pastures with a sheepdog and a rifle, watching storms at dusk from the doorway of a small cabin.” To be overtaken by trumspringa doesn’t necessarily mean you literally run away to be a shepherd. Give yourself the luxury of considering such wild possibilities; it may be a healing release allowing you to be at peace with the life you live.

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | APRIL 23-29, 2014

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Sometimes life is – or at least should be – downright unpredictable. After much meditation, I’ve concluded the most important message you can send to the universe is to fly a pair of underpants from the top of a flagpole. You read it right. Take down the flag that’s up there, and run the skivvies up. Whose underpants should you use? A pair belonging to someone you adore. What’s the deeper meaning behind this apparently irrational act? What is life asking of you? This: Stop making so much sense, especially when it comes to cultivating love and expressing passion. See who salutes. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Take some time out to explore the deeper mysteries of snuggling, cuddling and nuzzling. In my opinion, that’s your sacred duty. It’s your raison d’etre, ne plus ultra, sine qua non. Nurture your somatic wisdom with what we in the consciousness industry refer to as yummy warm fuzzy wonder love. At the very least, engage in some prolonged hugging with a creature you’re close to. Tender physical touch isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your body has about four octillion atoms. That’s four with 27 zeroes after it. Believe it or not, 200 billion of that were once inside the body of Martin Luther King Jr. An average of 200 billion atoms of everyone who’s ever lived and died is part of you. I’m not making this up. (See the mathematical analysis here: http://tinyurl.com/ AtomsFromEveryone.) As far as your immediate future is concerned, I’m interested in Dr. King’s legacy. If any of his skills as a great communicator are alive within you, you’d be smart to call on them. It’s time to express high-minded truths in ways that heal schisms, bridge gaps and promote unity. Proceed on the assumption that it’s your job to express the truth with extra clarity, candor and grace.  Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com


NEWS OF THE WEIRD GAME ON

First-term U.S. Rep. Ted Yoho of Florida is already among the House’s most conservative members, but his Republican primary challenger claims to be even more so — and has a quixotic, longtime hobby as a costumed, role-playing “gamer.” Challenger Jake Rush (in his day job, a lawyer) portrays supernatural characters as a prominent member of the national Mind’s Eye Society and Florida’s Covenant of the Poisoned Absinthe, including vampire Chazz Darling, who, according to a Yahoo message board, once left an explicit, body-parts-bloodying threat to a role-player with whom he’d been feuding. Florida political report SaintPetersBlog broke the story — and was quickly criticized, less by Rush’s defenders than by the indignant cosplay community, which felt mocked.

THANK THE LITTLE GUYS

A scandal erupted in 2013 at Minot, N.D., Air Force Base when missile-launch specialists were charged with cheating on proficiency tests. Additional documents uncovered by the Associated Press in March 2014 show the problem was worse than originally reported. The overall missile-launch program, run by “missileers,” was judged “substandard” — equal to an F grade in school — and “rehabilitated” in the eyes of Air Force officers only because the 91st Missile Wing Command’s support staff (cooks, drivers, clerks, etc.) scored high and brought the command’s overall performance to the equivalent of a D.

LIKE ME? SIGN HERE

Formally asking a sweetheart to “please be my (boyfriend/girlfriend)” is said to be a traditional romantic milestone in Japanese relationships, and the town of Nagareyama, Chiba Prefecture, provides a government document to commemorate that big step (for a filing fee, of course). In fact, according to news site RocketNews24.com, since only one party need file the document, the town hopes the form becomes a strategic step to declare one’s love without messy, face-to-face, rejectionrisking confrontation (and also become a robust municipal-revenue producer).

EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

British artist Millie Brown, 27, profiled in January in London’s Daily Mail, creates Jackson Pollock-style canvases by vomiting on them after ingesting colored soy milk. Brown (whose work hangs in London’s Ripley’s Believe It or Not! showcase) said she fasts for two days prior to public performances and, as the show starts, times her ingestions so that the proper hues don’t prematurely mix in her stomach. Her appearance, at work, in a Lady Gaga music video brought her a somewhat larger audience. Said the understated Brown, “I am able to challenge people’s perceptions of beauty.”

BELLY OF THE BEAST

Paris’ Hunting & Wildlife Museum hosted, from April 1-13, artist Abraham Poincheval’s real-time demonstration of “birth and rebirth” — his living completely inside a hollowed-out bear carcass the entire time, eating, drinking, reading, sleeping and relieving himself (down the bear’s legs) before a live camera, with a viewing window for spectators. Poincheval, who in a previous installation lived for a while in a hole, likened the experience merely to the cramped quarters of astronauts.

PETTY THEFT

Though Douglas Lydic, 29, escaped from a patrol car in December in Commodore, Pa., while handcuffed (and was soon re-captured), prosecutors declined to charge him with fleeing since he was merely being “detained” at the time. However, they did charge Lydic with theft of the handcuffs.

PETTY AND TACKY

Dustin Bell, 25, wearing an officer’s badge stolen from the Sand Springs, Okla., police department, apparently only casually considered how to wield his newly acquired “authority.” He was arrested in April after asking at a Tulsa tanning salon for a lawenforcement discount — to get a $34 session for $10.  Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37


FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

PONTE VEDRA SAN MARCO SOUTHSIDE AVONDALE AVENUES MALL 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 330 A1A NORTH 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 398-9741 388-5406 280-1202 394-1390

Sorry, Wrong Letter!

ISU LOOKING AT ISU! At Mandarin Library; reading Folio Weekly, laughing. Assumed it was the ISU; you were in the back of the paper. You: Cute brunette, wonderful laugh. Me: Tall muscular brunette, always checking DVDs out. Love to know the person behind the laughter. Where: Mandarin Library. When: April 16. #1352-0423 SO WAS IT THE ALTERNATOR? You: Inadvertently at my moving sale, Atlantic Beach, Sunday morning, working on buddy’s wife’s Jeep. You looked sexy under the hood working with your hands; my morning was more exciting! Bummed you never returned. Take me for a ride in your Altima before it sells? I’ll handle the heat! Where: Eakin & Sneed Law Firm, AB. When: March 9. #1351-0423 MUDVILLE GRILLE TRIVIA NIGHT You: At bar, waiting for (first?) date. My buddy and I were woefully undermanned for trivia; you jumped in to help! Me: Blue-shirted guy with onion ring fetish. I like how we connected; you were busy when your date came. Did it work out? :-) Where: Mudville Trivia. When: April 4. #1350-0423 I SAW MY FUTURE ISU hanging at a friend’s. Looking into your eyes, there was something about you; you felt it, too. You: Blue jeans, black top; I remember smile most. Your voice was a sign from heaven; my angel was there for me to love. When: 2011. Where: Captiva Bluff. #1349-0416 DAD NEEDS CUSTOMER SERVICE Came in with my daughter; you helped her find a skirt. Help me find a way to your heart? You: Short blonde hair, folding shirts in men’s section. Me: Salt & pepper, gray in beard, love to jog, hoping things work out for us ;-). When: March 28. Where: Forever 21 @ Avenues. #1348-0416 PUBLIX SMILE & WAVE BLONDE BEAUTY Atlantic & Hodges Publix. You: Pretty blonde, blue eyes, pretty smile, blue workout clothes. Me: 6 feet tall, blue eyes, blue shirt. Eyes met on opposite lines. Almost sprained my neck. You smiled, waved leaving. Should have run after you. Both seasoned. Don’t get many chances for connection, desire I felt. Take a chance. When: April 3. Where: Publix Atlantic/ Hodges. #1347-0409 ATLANTIC BLVD. CHOPPER HOTTIE W/ VA TAGS You: Harley jacket ... offer Chopper heading westbound with your buddy. Blowing me kisses. Me: Pink hair and tattoos, in a gray Chevy Cobalt. Come see me at Regis salon in the Town Center so that I can catch some of those kisses. When: April 3. Where: Atlantic Boulevard. #1346-0409 DONOVAN’S IRISH PUB You: Alone at bar, ball cap, having dinner, talked football with others. Me: Blonde, pink shirt across bar with friend. Made eye contact; I felt attraction across the room. Wish I had your name; didn’t want to be rude to friend. Asked bartender if you were a regular; sadly, didn’t know. Hope you see this. When: March 30. Where: Donovan’s. #1345-0409

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POOL BOY & FORMER POOL GIRL We were parked next to each other. You weren’t satisfied with the car wash. I borrowed your vacuum. Loved your tattoo. I should have ... Haven’t/can’t stop thinking about you. When: Sunday, March 23. Where: CarBux San Jose. #1344-0402

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BEAUTIFUL ASIAN AT PAPA JOHN’S ARGYLE You: Asian and beautiful, drives late model Hyundai. We made eye contact briefly. I feel like a fool for not asking for your number. Describe me and let’s start the revolution. When: March 19. Where: Papa John’s. #1343-0326

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BURGER SLINGIN’ BEAUTY You: Breathtaking brunette behind counter, providing burgers to all lucky to be in your presence. Me: Tall, dark-haired gentleman, catches you gazing intimately into my eyes every Tuesday. OK, yes, it’s mutual. Skip small talk and make this thing official? When: March 18. Where: MShack Atlantic Beach. #1342-0326 CONVERSATION SURPRISE You: Attractive SWF, 5’2”-4”, 130, nonsmoker, athletic, late 50s-early-60s. Afternoon conversation, coffee, you nearly choked when I asked if you’d be interested in “friends with benefits LTR.” Gave your cell number; can’t find. Me: SWM, 5’8”, 185, nonsmoker, excellent health, early 70s, recently retired successful executive, homeowner. When: Jan. 15. Where: Starbucks. #1341-0312

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SWEATY CYCLIST SEEKS SEXY SITTER You: Beautiful, Middle-Eastern-looking au pair, pumping gas at Gate; two kids. Me: Fit, ginger, sun-glistened cyclist. Our eyes locked, my heart pulled a wheelie. My Schwinn couldn’t keep up with your Audi. Drop kids; then see what my cyclist pants can barely contain. When: March 1. Where: Gate Gas Station. #1340-0312

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BATHROOMS & SOUP? Me: Short, red-headed woman, black uniform. You: Gorgeous blue eyes, grey shirt, almost-shaved blond hair. You asked where bathroom was; I answered. We saw each other in check-out lane. You and my mom talked about soup myths. I’d really like to get to know you. :) When: March 2. Where: Barnes & Noble, San Jose Blvd. #1339-0305 MOST BEAUTIFUL NURSE You: Most caring nurse I’ve ever seen. Short, brown-haired Latin goddess with glasses and always smiling. V., you are so good with the children you take care of. Would love to take you out some time. When: Feb. 7. Where: Wolfson ICU. #1338-0305 I SWEAR I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! That’s all I could think of to talk to you. We chatted, joked for a few; got dragged off by friends and lost you. Me: Red hair, black mini, kneehigh boots. You: Short brown hair, looking dapper. See you there again? When: Feb. 14. Where: Eclipse. #1337-0226 ASKED TO READ MY MIND For two years, I’ve thought about you every day and dreamed about you every night! You: Curious & Disturbed. Me: Glasses. When: Every day. Where: The neighborhood. #1336-0226

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ACROSS Bulldog features Admit openly Pond problem It’s on a roll PayPal funds, e.g. Dallas suburb Horseplay? Throw Traditional washday target? “Trinity” novelist Hectic hosp. zones Jeans brand Short person’s request? Hybrid type of air pollution Motto of the Marlon Brando Acting School? Yuri’s love Bar staple Has hopes (to) Comedy writer Carol (whose new book, “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Crying,” inspired this puzzle) Signs (a contract) Abbr. after Newt’s name, once Modern opening Ford’s predecessor Donald Trump’s autobiography? Blue state? Off-weeks, in football Tons Tony’s cousin “Born from jets” automaker Page of music In an unexciting way Buccaneer who used to be a teacher? Building blocks Investigation Moon landers, briefly It can be a curse Mother, in Milan Ex-mayor of NYC, 2

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familiarly 74 Bud 77 Hemingway’s leastknown war novel? 82 Slow down 84 Oscar-nominated 2013 film 85 Part of SFSU 86 Complication 87 Hathaway’s Oscars co-host 88 Short snoozes 92 ___ chi 93 Like a caboose 94 Bird’s pickup line? 100 Start of a fallibility adage 101 French 101 verb 102 Incredibly long time 103 Abbr. for a queen 104 Olympian Korbut 105 “If we just allow them to keep merging, everything will be okay,” for example? 111 Come out ahead 112 Superboy’s sweetie 113 Very select 114 Actor Davis 115 Approximately 116 Blood blockage 117 Rolaids rival 118 Bids one club, say DOWN 1 “The ___ in the Crown” 2 Earth tone 3 What weight watchers watch 4 D-Day landing craft 5 That girl 6 Reasons for sneezin’ 7 Batman before George 8 ___ dare 9 Part of www 10 Nursery rhyme couple 11 Laundromat, e.g. 12 Einstein’s birthplace 13 Ripper of Larry’s hair 14 On-hand items? 15 Hearing-related 16 Value highly

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Positive thing The pair Exodus food Groups of troops What a run may ruin Dog show org. Obama is one Carrier renamed in 1997 Financial shellacking Really fond of German coal region Sudden increase Spark producer Nosy guy? Skin-care brand Grandpa Munster had one (named Igor) Indian wrap Canine’s cousin Sponsorship “Letters, ___ letters ...” Came to Hatch on the Hill Hesitant words of assent Not “for here” Dr. Mom’s forte Prince of Broadway ___-ray Intent Boo follower “Whoa ... it’s like we have ___ or something!”

Solution to Payback Time

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Otherwise cummings, for one Cloudless Aragon-born artist Lipstick slip Call at home, say Returned, as weeds One, to Wagner Ancient cross Nukes with many warheads Compulsion ___ partner ___ trip All-you-can-eat venues “Check,” in poker Accusing author’s first name Comply with “Our Town” family name Singer-actress Lenya Wood strip Dog in the comics Unconscious states Sherpa’s herd Goldman partner TV ad Neck and neck Captain’s kid, maybe Kepler contemporary Carafe size Milky gem Tattoo sites, often

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BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

THE FORGOTTEN COMMUNITY The city should focus financial incentives on the Northwest just like it does on the Southside

T

he Northwest Quadrant of Jacksonville has a long and historic story of economic neglect by City Hall. Its earliest actions of intentional demise can be traced to the efforts to consolidate city and county governments. Prior to consolidation, the Northwest Quadrant was a thriving area of economic, political and educational pride for its residents. After consolidation, the Northwest Quadrant began losing control of its destiny. Once consolidation was formalized, the economic focus moved to the Southside. The Northwest Quadrant became the Forgotten Community. Visual evidence of this can be witnessed by taking a drive down Southside Boulevard. Everything you might want in terms of food, services and entertainment can be obtained. The economic pipeline was shut off from the Northwest Quadrant and redirected to the Southside in full force to create the economic disparity we have today. A January article by the Times-Union’s David Bauerlein offered a vivid account of the Forgotten Community: “The Northwest Jacksonville Economic Development Trust Fund’s only expenditure was $400,000 … at the same time, the city’s other economic development programs have … deals committing millions in the city funding, mainly for companies located on the Southside. … In Northwest Jacksonville neighborhoods where residents struggle to find jobs, a city program dedicated to economic development in those areas has little to show for itself in the past two years.” Terrance Ashanta-Barker, past director of the city’s Neighborhoods Department, was appointed by Mayor Alvin Brown from out of town to manage the Northwest Jacksonville Economic Development Trust Fund. The sobering truth is, Barker committed only $400,000 to the Northwest to start a meatprocessing operation, while $7 million was available in the Fund. Since 2011, however, “The City Council has approved economic development deals that committed the city to about $15 million in incentives,” Bauerlein reported. Barker said the “city needed the time to chart a long-term future for the program.” The facts speak for themselves. The Forgotten Community’s economic situation is amplified by the recent 2013 disparity study, which was preceded by a 1990 disparity study; the economic gap has not improved in the past two decades. Presently, the city’s solution to economic disparity in its contracts is a program called Jacksonville Small and Emerging Business (JSEB) [News, “The Usual Suspects,” Susan Cooper Eastman, March 26]. JSEB is and has been race- and gender-neutral since its inception in 2004. This program was designed as an alternative to the set-asides for minority- and women-owned businesses in Jacksonville. The economic realities we see in the Forgotten Community today are begging, crying and screaming for a remedy from the city and its independent agencies — a race- and gender-conscious approach to contracting. Strong, decisive political leadership is required from Mayor Brown and the City Council to address and change the current

policy that has guided this city and its agencies for the last decade. The two most recent disparity studies in 1990 and 2013 provide the legal foundation to radically alter contracting policies from race- and gender-neutral to raceand gender-conscious. Mayor Brown and the City Council have the political responsibility to ensure this economic transformation takes place, and a rare opportunity to take our city to the next level of economic progress. We’ve been stuck too long in the economic quicksands of yesterday that have created the situational reality of the Forgotten Community.

Strong, decisive leadership from Mayor Brown and City Council is required to change the current policy of neglect. The political answer should look like this: Brown’s political leadership must take the form of clear, specific recommendations for legislative action to change the race- and gender-neutral contracting policies. The City Council must have the intestinal fortitude to do what should have been done 24 years ago, and place us on a contemporary path of economic progress on which our children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren can continue to build a future that is race- and gender-conscious, not race- and

gender-neutral. The current policy needs a legislative overhaul. The enactment of new laws can provide a remedy for the Forgotten Community, but only if the mayor and the council have the moral courage to do what is best for the future of our city. Brown frequently says, “I am the mayor of all of Jacksonville.” The Northwest Quadrant needs his action, not his words, to make this true. What does the Northwest Quadrant need from our mayor? It needs leadership instead of a paralysis of analysis within his administration. Brown must offer bills with a renewed focus on the Northwest Quadrant comparable to the economic financial incentives available on the Southside. The Northwest Quadrant needs to be transformed from a food desert into a place where residents can access quality, healthy foods. Partnerships with Walmart and other companies to have food markets built in this community would make this transformation possible. Transforming the numerous deserted warehouses there into profitable sources of value for job creation, training and education would also make a difference. Mayor Brown’s leadership in staffing and hiring someone to direct the city’s Brownfields and Land Revitalization Program will establish infrastructure for rebuilding. Mayor Brown and the City Council have a fantastic opportunity prior to the forthcoming 2015 election to stop the Northwest Quadrant from remaining the Forgotten Community.  Dr. Juan P. Gray mail@folioweekly.com

Gray is chairman of the Jacksonville chapter of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily refl ect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. APRIL 23-29, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39


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