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CONTENTS // APRIL 9-15, 2014 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 2



O 31


5 7 9 10


22 24 26 29



30 31 33 34

36 37 38 39

Cover Illustration: Shan Stumpf PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor / ext. 111


EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • David Johnson / ext. 128 WRITER-AT-LARGE • Susan Cooper Eastman CARTOONIST Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, Daniel A. Brown, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Nicholas Garnett, Claire Goforth, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Amanda Long, Heather Lovejoy, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Carley Robinson, Chuck Shepherd, Merl Reagle, Melody Taylor and Abigail Wright

EDITORIAL INTERNS Audreyonna Banks and Travis Crawford VIDEOGRAPHER • Doug Lewis


ART DIRECTOR • Shan Stumpf / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Katarina Lubet / ext. 117 JUNIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Kim Collier / ext. 117 PHOTOGRAPHER • Dennis Ho / ext. 122



Bobby Pendexter /


PUBLISHER Sam Taylor / ext. 111 SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGER CJ Allen / ext. 120 • Beaches, Ponte Vedra Beach, Amelia Island ACCOUNT MANAGERS Lee Ann Thornton ext. 127 • Mandarin, Orange Park Mary Pennington ext. 125 • Intracoastal West, St. Augustine ACCOUNT MGR. / SPECIAL EVENTS MANAGER Ro Espinosa ext. 129 • Southside, Avondale, Arlington MOBILE APP ADVERTISING ACCOUNT MANAGER Kathrin Lancelle ext. 124 • Downtown, Riverside, Northside, San Marco

Folio Weekly is published every Wednesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2014. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 27,000 press run. Audited weekly readership 111,191.




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ne of the perks of this job is that I get to play favorites. I’m exercising this prerogative this week by extolling you to support with your money and love what is far and away my favorite One Spark project — not the most important or inventive project, mind you, or something that will revolutionize the city or change the world. Simply my favorite: Burlock & Barrel Distilleries. (That’s Project No. 20915. Hint.) Ian Haensly and Colin Edwards want to build a craft whiskey distillery in Jacksonville, and I think we should all pitch in and help them. Not just because, when it comes to libations, I’m partial to whiskey, though I am, or because I believe this town could use a little more libertinism, though I do. But also because they’re trying to build a craft distillery that draws on locally sourced ingredients, while connecting the First Coast to its boozy heritage. (The colloquialism “The Real McCoy” may come from William Frederick McCoy, a Jacksonville yachtbuilder turned “gentleman smuggler” — meaning he never cozied up to organized crime or sold drink cut with chemicals — during Prohibition. McCoy is said to have invented the burlock, a contraption that held bottles wrapped tightly in straw and burlap — hence the distillery’s name.) The $25,000 they’re hoping to get from One Spark is only the beginning, a way to help them secure the facilities and equipment they need. The real issues are of the bureaucratic variety. “Florida is the worst,” Haensly says. For starters, there’s the annual licensing fee (about $4,000, considerably more than the $100 Oregon charges), not to mention a regulatory scheme that was only recently dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century: It took a herculean lobbying effort for craft distillers to convince the state last year to finally relax laws that forbid distilleries from selling directly to customers. As it is now, customers can purchase only two bottles per person per year. Before, the distilleries had to sell to wholesalers, which then sold the product to bars and liquor stores — the anachronistic and much-hated three-tier system. They’ll also have to navigate federal licensing hoops — they can apply for a license, a process that takes months, only after proving that they have a fully functional operation — and work something out regarding taxes and rules with the city of Jacksonville, which has never dealt with this sort of thing before. (Burlock & Barrel would be the city’s first craft distillery, after all.) With all licenses secure, they’ll need about $60,000 to operate for a year; even using small barrels to mature the whiskey more quickly, they won’t have anything to sell for many months. At first, they say, they’ll produce a clear, un-aged product — unbarreled, straight off the still, like a high-class hooch — called Naked White Whiskey. The bourbon will come later, aged (maybe) with orange chips or in barrels made from orange trees, some hint of something uniquely Floridian. “That’s what we’re trying to do — promote Florida,” Edwards says. In time, they envision a Florida Whiskey Trail, like the Kentucky Whiskey Trail, luring boozehounds from all over to sample from the state’s craft distilleries. I haven’t the slightest idea whether that’s even remotely plausible, but really, you get the sense that they’re doing this because they think it’d be fun — and I think they’re right.  Jeffrey C. Billman twitter/jeffreybillman Burlock & Barrel will be showcasing during One Spark at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub at The Jacksonville Landing.


IN THE GROOVE: Damodar Prasad, of the International Society Krishna Consciousness, is entranced as he plays a drum on the corner of Adams and Laura streets during Downtown’s First Wednesday Art Walk on April 2. Prasad and 10 other Krishna devotees drove to Jacksonville from Gainesville specifically to engage pedestrians on a busy night, handing out literature and inviting passersby to play music and chant mantras with them.

MAIL Lock Him Up

I am writing in regard to your recent column “The Ghost and Us” [Editor’s Note, Jeffrey C. Billman, March 26]. I sense you are kind of celebrating Chip Southworth and making light of his “illegal” activity. Vandalism and destruction of private property are against the law, period. There is no exception if you think it is artistic. If you want to spray-paint your own property with your political messages or “art,” do so. I dare say if you went home one day and found your house graphically painted with someone’s “art” or political message, you might be glad to have JSO make an arrest. It seems like it’s all right as long as it’s not “my” property. Too much of this world has gone to “we don’t need to obey that law, that regulation, etc., because it interferes with me. I’m special so laws should not apply to me.” Unfortunately, Mr. Southworth probably will not receive any serious jail time, but it would be good if he spent the next 10 years or so repainting every vandalized, defaced control box to the original colors. Then maybe he might learn the appreciation of someone else’s “private” property. There are too many fixtures, buildings, etc. that bear the mark of someone’s “art,” and it only brings blight and loss of property values for the rest of us.

are constantly on the move. A few decades ago, there were a number of expert sign painters around. My dad was one of them. He loved painting big signs that could be seen from far away. But besides having something to boast about, it earned him extra cash besides the paycheck from his 8-to-5 job. Sadly, that’s a bygone day! Today’s technology has eliminated the need for an artistic sign painter and many other skills, all in the name of progress. Maybe this is why we have so many frustrated artists painting on freight cars, traffic control boxes and the like. Also, remember the “arts mania” of 25 years ago? It inspired budding local artists who could win a ribbon by exhibiting their art. It attracted big crowds. I believe Jacksonville needs Downtown events like that. We need to inspire, not restrict talented artists. William H. Shuttleworth

Win the Future

Totally agree with your point on investing in the future [Editor’s Note, “On Courage,” Jeffrey C. Billman, March 12]. In my field, education, many states are making major mistakes by investing in testing and core curriculum (all political), and not in building good schools that prepare for the future, not present tests.

R. Hersey

More Art, Please

“The Ghost and Us” stirred up my thinking a bit. As a resident of San Marco, I’ve driven by a couple of Chip Southworth’s control box masterpieces numerous times. Sometimes they remind me of medical activity at the hospital that’s just a hop-skip away. Too bad Chip violated the law, becoming a shadowy bandit while exhibiting his passion for the artistic. Stuck at a railroad crossing, I’ve viewed hundreds of freight cars all decorated with colorful graffiti artwork. Those artists seldom get caught because both the art and the artists

Briggs McAndrews

Correction Last week’s cover story incorrectly referred to a project Wayne Wood was involved in as “The Epic Project.” It was actually The Epoch Project, which is, in fact, a cooler name. We regret the error. If you would like to respond to something that appeared in Folio Weekly, please send an email with your address and phone number (for verification purposes only) to We reserve the right to edit letters for grammar, clarity and space.

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NEWS BUZZ Binge, Purge

Last week, as you’ve probably heard, in a case called McCutcheon v. Federal Election Commission, the Supreme Court decided in a 5-4 ruling that the Koch brothers and other deep-pocketed plutocrats — of all political stripes; our disdain doesn’t discriminate — don’t yet own enough of our so-called democracy. The Supremes struck down a decades-old limit on how much money individuals can give to federal candidates each election cycle, and appear to have made it more difficult for the government to legally justify restrictions on any campaign contributions. “If the court in Citizens United opened a door,” Justice Stephen Breyer wrote in a pointed dissent, “today’s decision may well open a floodgate.” So, even more stupid election ads coming to your television this fall. But don’t slit those wrists just yet, democracy-lovers! While the Supreme Court is ensuring we have the best politicians rich people’s money can buy, judges on the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals are at least trying to blunt perpetual Republican efforts to keep, you know, those people from voting. The day before the McCutcheon ruling, the Circuit Court ruled that Gov. Rick Scott’s 2012 voter purge — a hackneyed scheme, opposed by many of the state’s supervisors of elections, ostensibly designed to prevent a fantasy scourge of voter fraud, but actually booted legit voters from the rolls in addition to the 85 possible noncitizens (max) it located — violated the National Voter Registration Act, which prohibits the systematic removal of voters from the rolls shortly before elections. (Not coincidentally, the Miami Herald reported in a 2012 analysis that “Hispanic, Democratic and independent-minded voters are the most likely to be targeted.”) The Circuit Court’s decision may be a moot point, at least for now: Late last month, the Scott administration abandoned plans to conduct another purge before November, when the gov is up for re-election, citing underway changes to a federal database that tracks noncitizens.

Benign Condescension

When State Attorney Angela Corey reached a

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group of pastors stationed last week outside her office, flanked by protesters and the press, she had that all-too-familiar sickly sweet smile pasted on her face, the smile of benign condescension that Corey employs when speaking to people who couldn’t possibly understand the intricacies of the law that justify and completely explain her actions in the cases of Cristian Fernandez, George Zimmerman and Michael Dunn — don’t forget that phone call to Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz threatening to sue him and Harvard because he dared to criticize her in public. This time, pastors were pushing her to give more errant juveniles civil citations instead of locking them up. To keep them out of detention. To give them chance at life without a criminal record. Corey, you see, serves only 26 percent of eligible juvie troublemakers in the 4th Judicial Circuit with civil citations, down from the 34 percent statewide average and 86 percent in Miami-Dade County. According to the Department of Juvenile Justice, 90 percent those given civil citations don’t reoffend — which is, you know, pretty much the whole point. Oh, and they’re considerably cheaper for taxpayers, too. Corey cut short that meeting, blaming the clergy for alerting the media, but not before telling the pastors they didn’t know what they were talking about. The pastors wanted to invite her to speak at a meeting about community problems, including juvenile justice issues. Corey declined.


Heads up, One Spark festivalgoers and assorted Downtown party people: As you revel this week, keep an eye out for a very special Folio Weekly honor box. You’ll likely know it when you see it — but we have absolutely no idea what it will look like. Over the weekend, we dropped it off at the CoRK studio of Chip Southworth, aka Keith Haring’s Ghost, to do with whatever he pleases (which, come to think of it, may be a little dangerous). When he’s finished, we’ll find a prominent spot to display it. Southworth, who’s facing felony charges for “vandalizing” 11 traffic control boxes around town, will be showcasing during One Spark at Southlight Gallery.  — Jeffrey C. Billman and Susan Cooper Eastman


THE THIN BLUE LINE: John Study and his pregnant fiancée, Natalie Fuster, accuse the JSO of going easy on one of their own – a cop who pulled a gun on Study in a dispute over a parking spot last month.  Photo: Dennis Ho

PARKING WAR A Jacksonville man says an off-duty JSO officer backed into

him, then pulled a gun on him in a dispute over a parking spot


ohn Study’s right knee still cracks when he shifts position while sitting. It cracks loudly, often more than once, when he stands up. These sounds are sharp reminders, he says, of the off-duty Jacksonville police officer who intentionally rammed him with his personal car on March 16, then pointed a departmentissued handgun at him when he called 911. The confrontation was sparked by something all too familiar — an argument over an open parking space in the Riverside Publix parking lot. Study, 20, who was with his pregnant fiancée, Natalie Fuster, 20, and her parents, told Folio Weekly last week that he’s still in pain and grappling with his first serious bout of anxiety. “I was scared for my life. I’m about to start a family,” he says. In Study’s account, that day he, Fuster and her parents drove from their Normandy home to Memorial Park in Riverside to walk the dog and enjoy the weather. But a lot of people were out taking advantage of the beautiful, spring-like day. Parking spaces on the street were nonexistent. They decided to try the Publix. After losing one open space after another to other vehicles, Study grew frustrated. When he saw the next empty space, between the family’s Saturn Vue and a curb, Study jumped out of the SUV and ran to stand in the space until his future fatherin-law could pull around to park. Corinthian Roosevelt Morgan, 46, also wanted that spot. Study says that as he stood in the space, Morgan’s Toyota Corolla pulled past it, then began backing in. Morgan saw Study and got out of his car. “I’m holding this for my family,” Study told him. “I don’t give a fuck about your family,” Study says Morgan replied. “You can’t save a spot.” (Fuster and her parents were watching, and

say they heard Morgan shouting and cussing. “Before [Morgan] hit the gas, we were trying to convince Johnny to leave it alone,” Fuster says. “We don’t want any altercation.”) But Study stood his ground. Morgan was just as adamant. Study says Morgan got back into his car and accelerated. The Corolla struck Study hard in the right knee; Study slapped the back of Morgan’s car to get him to stop. Fuster and her parents looked on in shock. Study went to Morgan’s window, told him he was going to call 911 and asked for his name. Morgan, Study says, refused: “Call the cops. I don’t give a fuck.” When Study walked around the Toyota to read the tag number to the 911 dispatcher, Morgan again got out of his car. This time, Study says, he pulled a black handgun from a backpack he had placed on the driver’s seat. “He looked around before he pulled out the gun. He pointed the gun at me and said, ‘Get the fuck away from my car,’ then he put it back in the bag. He did it so fast.” Study says the rapid escalation frightened him. “I said there is no need to be ignorant about it, and I walked away.” Morgan, who is black, began shouting again, this time accusing Study of calling him a “nigger.” Study thinks Morgan misheard the word “ignorant.” “I didn’t say that. I don’t use that word,” Study told Morgan. “Say it one more time,” he says Morgan replied. “I’ll show you what a real nigger is.” Merchi Fuster, Natalie’s father, says he heard Morgan shouting and then saw Morgan following Study toward their vehicle, so he got out of his SUV and confronted him. “Listen, you got your parking spot. Leave it alone and go about your business,” he told Morgan. Morgan left, and later went into Sushi Café

“The only reason that gentleman over there is not in the back of my car is he’s an officer of the law.”

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NEWS in the shopping center. When a Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office police officer who responded to the 911 call asked Study what the gun looked like, Study pointed at the officer’s firearm. “It looked just like that gun right there in your holster.” At the time, Study says, he had no idea that the man who’d confronted him was a cop. JSO issues the same model Glock semi-automatics to all its officers. The only way he could have known what the gun looked like, he says, was if he saw Morgan holding it. Soon afterward, Morgan came out of Sushi Café, sans the black bag and gun. A police report says Morgan met his wife in the parking lot and left the items with her. The officer talked with Morgan briefly

before letting him go back into the sushi restaurant. “[Morgan] was playing stupid, like he didn’t know what’s going on,” Study says. “He says he doesn’t know anything about a gun. He claims he didn’t hit me.” After the officer spoke with Morgan, he came back to Study and told him Morgan was an off-duty cop. “The only reason that gentleman over there is not in the back of my car is he’s an officer of the law,” Study says the officer told him. “Those were his exact words. I was like, ‘are you kidding me?’ That’s, like, special treatment.” After three-and-a-half hours of retelling his story, Study and the Fusters went home. He sought medical help the next day when the knee pain increased. An MRI showed that

he had internal bruising and some cartilage damage. Study was on crutches for more than two weeks, and nearly lost a new job he was supposed to start the day after the altercation. Folio Weekly obtained the final investigation results late Friday afternoon through a public records request. The report detailed Morgan’s version, but the names of all investigating officers were blacked out. In Morgan’s version, the incident unfolded quite differently. He denied hitting Study with the car or pointing his Glock at him. Morgan admitted that he confronted Study about the spot, but said Study had moved out of the parking space before he backed in. Study, he said, then started banging on his trunk. Morgan told the detective he was riding around town with the

gun on top of his backpack, which was on the passenger seat. He said that when he started to get out of his car after Study slapped his trunk, he decided to put the gun into the backpack. Morgan told the detective that Study saw the gun and said, “Oh, you got a gun, you a big man.” When Morgan got out of his car, Study called him a “fucking nigger.” Morgan said he asked Study to repeat what he just said, but Study ignored him. Morgan then took the backpack to his wife’s car, which was parked nearby, and the two went into Sushi Café. The detective had to retrieve the backpack and gun from Morgan’s wife. After questioning Study and the Fusters at the scene, and Morgan at JSO offices, the detective’s findings were inconclusive: “It cannot be determined whether a crime was or was not committed due to the lack of physical evidence or independent witnesses.” Assistant state attorney Rich Mantei decided not to file charges, the report said. Natalie Fuster and her parents, however, say the JSO’s report contains many inaccuracies about what they told police — and what police asked them. In the official report, the detective said the Fusters told him they didn’t see anything. That’s incorrect, they say: The officers never asked them about Study getting hit by the car, only about the gun, which they didn’t see because their view was obstructed. Natalie Fuster says she even heard the smack when the Corolla struck her fiancé. In addition to the report’s alleged shortcomings, and the way police handled the investigation after learning Morgan was one of their own, Study and his attorney, T.C. Roberts, question the JSO’s secrecy surrounding the investigation. Study says officers at the scene refused to give him information about the driver, including his name and insurance information. Roberts still was trying to get the name and investigation results last Friday, nearly three weeks after the incident and two weeks after the JSO’s report was completed, on March 24. They learned only Morgan’s name and the status of the investigation after Folio Weekly obtained the report. Roberts says he plans to file a lawsuit against Morgan on Study’s behalf. “If it would have been me who pulled a gun on someone, I would have been facing a 10-year minimum prison sentence,” Roberts says. Hitting Study with a car could also be considered aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, he adds. Tom Verri, a Jacksonville private investigator who was an instructor in police firearms training in New York and Iraq, says even in Morgan’s account, his actions are questionable at best. Morgan admitted that he was driving around with a loaded Glock on top of his backpack. “That’s certainly not anything that’s taught by any agency I know of,” Verri says. Guns that aren’t being worn should be in a locked container, he adds. Morgan also shouldn’t have touched the weapon during the altercation unless he felt he was in danger. “My whole thing is, why is a gun even involved in this?” Verri asks. And because police officers have complete responsibility for their weapons, Morgan shouldn’t have handed off the weapon to his wife, Verri says. “I would venture to say that’s a violation of department policy.” The JSO is conducting an internal investigation into Morgan’s actions that day, spokeswoman Melissa Bujeda says. She did not know when it will be completed.  Derek Kinner

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CLASSROOM BULLIES What happens when a student is harassed not by his peers, but by his teachers?


uval County Public Schools has predictably high-minded mission statements. For instance, there’s the pledge from the Office of Equity and Inclusion to “help eliminate the achievement gap by fostering respect for — and celebration of — our diversity; promote cultural unity, individual growth, and classroom and workplace harmony.” This is an entire department set up to counter harassment and bullying. Pretty groovy. But what happens when the bully isn’t a student, but a teacher? Caleb Combs is a diminutive, soft-spoken, self-effacing fifth grader who does everything he can to make his mama proud. He’s just a few weeks from leaving West Riverside Elementary; he’ll attend LaVilla School of the Arts next year, and the harassment he says he’s faced from his teachers will be but a memory. But those memories will last a lifetime — some of the first authority figures set up to lead him, to theoretically model adult behavior, instead showed him that bigotry takes many forms. Caleb’s mother, Ashley, is Duval born and bred — and has never heard of teachers saying the kinds of things they said to her son. One, she says, took him to task for dancing next to another boy, because “it looks gay.” Another criticized him for singing the Macklemore & Ryan Lewis pro-marriage-equality anthem “Same Love.” A third opined to Ashley that “Caleb doesn’t feel loved and supported” because his parents aren’t married. For a gentle soul like Ashley, whose main interests in life are raising her son and performing animal rescue, it’s been almost too much to bear. She complained to the school’s principal, Sylvia Johnson, but nothing came of it. (Johnson did not return a message left on her voicemail requesting comment.) DCPS spokeswoman Tia Ford, whom I reached at the end of a recent Friday, told me Ashley should have taken the complaint further up the chain and “reach[ed] out to the regional chief.” Ford wondered “why the mother would want a media story.” Why, indeed, Ashley? “I don’t want these hurtful things said to anyone — especially not to a gay or lesbian kid who is already struggling with knowing how to be who they are.” For a few halcyon minutes, Ford spoke

to me casually and frankly, as if we were off the record (we weren’t), in Friday EOD mode. Then Ford checked herself and began talking slowly and measured, like the training document told her to. I asked if there was an ombudsman for parents’ complaints. Ford asked me what an ombudsman was. And that right there illustrates the insularity and the entitlement (and the need for vocabulary lessons) at the heart of DCPS. While this situation has Ashley worked up, Caleb has dealt with it about as well as he can (though, as these things go, who knows what long-term effects might be?): “Honestly, Caleb thinks it’s all kind of funny,” Ashley told me. “I wanted to rip their faces, but he looks at it like they’re idiots.”

“I don’t want these hurtful things said to anyone.” Like all entrenched bureaucracies, there is a crony system at DCPS, no matter if Nikolai Vitti or an exhumed Herb Sang plays superintendent. People are lifers there, and lifers have prerogatives — especially in a system in which they are there to “educate” children there compulsorily, unless their parents have the means to escape to the shiny new subdivisions of St. Johns County, or the risk-aversion necessary to trust their kids to some charter school. Perhaps, as Vitti takes a closer look at expanding elementary schools to include sixth graders in some parts of town, he might want to investigate the experience these kids actually get in their classroom. Not during an official visit, when everyone’s on their best behavior, but when the administrators are in “meetings” and the teachers let their guards down and talk real. And if Vitti needs an ombudsman? I’m available. I know what the word means. And I work cheap.  AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski

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2014 There are festivals just about everywhere you look — music festivals, art festivals, film festivals, food festivals. One Spark is, officially, a crowdfunding festival, the first of its kind anywhere, in fact. But really, it’s more than that. After all, many of the 630 artists and geniuses and dreamers who cram into 20 blocks of Downtown this week won’t walk away with enough dough to change their lives, or even to ensure their project’s success. At its core, One Spark is really an ideas festival. And ideas are what we’ve set out to celebrate here: a potentially transformative aquarium, a local revolution in bicycle manufacturing, a game creator who’s overcome blindness and Parkinson’s, a socially conscious way to look at weddings, eccentrics and inventors of all stripes. These stories are, of course, but a taste of what One Spark has to offer. There are countless others equally deserving of your undivided attention (and dollars). They’re out there, these world-changing ideas, just waiting for you to find them. — Jeffrey C. Billman


An Aquarium to Transform Jacksonville

14 16 17 18

Blind Ambition The Best Bicycle Ever Made Where Are They Now? Global-minded Nuptials

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Photos: Dennis Ho

SMALL SPACES, BIG IDEAS Behind the scenes at One Spark’s headquarters,

where claustrophobics need not apply


for grabs this year: more than $3 million. The mass appeal of the second annual One Spark Festival, which takes over Downtown Jacksonville from April 9-13, has gone international, with spectators and creators arriving from all over the globe to participate. It has quickly become Downtown’s signature event, the thing urban advocates so readily point to as evidence of Downtown’s resurgence — maybe, if they’re being grandiose, the city’s long-elusive silver bullet. In other words, it’s a big damn deal. Let’s do some numbers: 5 days 1,758 registered volunteers 20 city blocks More than 150,000 voters 8 paid employees 900 square feet of office space Wait, what? One Spark operates with only eight employees in a room the size of a large garage? Eight people work every day in a 900-square-foot room at joined desks — and they’re kicking ass. They started planning One Spark 2014 during last year’s fest. And they’re busy year-round. Executive director Joe Sampson was once an avid professional golf-watcher. He ventured to all the major tourneys, up to six or eight a year. Now he tries to get six hours of sleep a night. Vince Cavin, the finance guru, has a hand in many pots around town. Aside from One Spark, he’s also a founder of PB&J (Party Benefit and Jam), which hosts events throughout the year, and serves on the board of directors of Friends of Hemming Park. Meredith Johnson, the volunteer manager, has managed

political campaigns all over the country — including serving as a consultant for Jesse Wilson’s current campaign for Jacksonville City Council — and was a public communications officer for the city of Jacksonville. Then there’s Elton Rivas, Dennis Eusebio and Varick Rosete. These jet-setting co-founders and directors are busy as hell proselytizing about One Spark and the city that birthed it. It seems like they check in on Facebook from somewhere different every week. So how, in such a small space, with so few people working such insane hours, do they pull this off ? Collaboration is the key. Each believes in the movement. And Sampson truly hopes that any market One Spark enters — they’ve already announced One Spark Berlin — will eventually turn into a booming tech and creative hub with numerous startup teams, incubators and co-work spaces. To get there, he says, they need those markets to become centers for tech and creative talent to live, work and play. “Quality of life is everything,” Sampson says. “I think One Spark leads out there, collaboratively with numerous organizations and teams in each market.” Humor is important, too. “With a small team producing something as big as One Spark, it’s good to have a couple of team members to help keep everyone loose in otherwise stressful situations.” So what happens April 14, the day after One Spark ends? “Media interviews and planning the 2015 festival,” Sampson says. They. Never. Stop. One last question: “How much coffee do you guys go through?” “We don’t track this data.”  Abigail Wright


One Spark is full of crazy ideas that just might work. Here are 10 of our faves from the Innovation category (the others are Art, Music, Science and Technology), in no particular order:

Bibo Survival Trailer #20394

Bill Cirmo designed a survival capsule that’s configured like a travel trailer. It folds out to provide food, water, sanitation, shelter, security, electricity, hot water and anything else you need to survive a disaster. As a master scuba instructor, a U.S. Coast Guard master captain, an FAA-certified flight instructor and a U.S. Navy combat pilot,

Sufferers of sleep apnea or athletes wanting to improve oxygen flow to the lungs might consider sitting for a custom caste of their nasal cavity by San Francisco inventor Tim Hallahan. He invented the O2 Rocket to fit exactly inside a particular nose and push its airways open. The device is practically invisible and comfortable to wear, says Hallahan, who uses it himself. Mad Men Marketing, 111 E. Bay St., Ste. 201

Rent a Wife #20072

Tina Finical Mayer will run errands, organize your workspace, resolve issues that have you stuck and just generally make your life work. You know, like a wife should. (Kidding!) Her company, Life Management Services, wants to free you up to focus on the important stuff. Northbank Riverwalk, 341 S. Hogan St.

Flip Tops #20702

John Schlier is an evangelist for barefooting it. He considers shoes a safety device, like safety goggles. And he thinks they should only be worn for protection. For the no-shoe, no-service groove-


WORKS 1. PROJECTS: One Spark projects

must fall into one of five categories: Art, Innovation, Technology, Music and Science. Among other restrictions, creators may not have an annual operating budget of more than $1 million.

Piezoelectric Wind Energy Harvesting for Powering of Wireless Sensor Networks in Remote Locations #20957

Nicholas Martin is a Jacksonville junior (as in high school) who has invented an ultra-low-power wind energy harvester for wireless sensor networks that work at wind speeds of less than 5 mph – perfect for monitoring weather conditions at remote or hard-to-reach locations, such as the underside of a bridge. Martin is seeking $1,500 from One Spark to pay for transportation to the 2014 International World (Energy, Engineering, and Environment) Project Olympiad in Houston, where he’s been invited to present his project. Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr.

Orion Wearable Power Anywhere Belt #20529

Anyone with a cell phone – so, everyone – has experienced that sinking feeling seeing the charge at nil with no way to juice up. Never again. Luke Jensen and his company JuiceLIon (that capital “I” is

Libations & Sustenance Need to refuel or get your drink on in between venues? (Yes, you do.) Good news: The One Spark District is stacked with options, everything from corner sandwich shops to swanky cocktail joints. Enjoy!


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Susan Cooper Eastman

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6. THE SHOWCASE: More than

7. WINNING: In addition to showcasing their ideas to the public, creators are awarded a percentage of the $260,000 crowdfund and are eligible for category and jury awards. They can also attract attention from capital investors partnered with the festival.

A collection of ties can get old. But by separating the knot from the tie, Michael Millican exponentially expands a tie collection into a dizzying array of choices. With Millican’s MulTie, just 10 ties allows for 100 different color combos – and there’s no end to tie-and-knot style combinations, such as a fuchsia knot with a blue Madras front or a Madras knot with a hot pink tie or a paisley tie with a purpley geometric knot. And so on. The SunTrust Building, 76 S. Laura St. 

ADAMS 13 2

5. PREPARATION: Once a project is confirmed through the matchmaking process, creators can assemble a team and form a strategy for promoting their idea. 150,000 people will be roaming the streets of Downtown Jacksonville checking out the projects. Creators have the opportunity to pitch their ideas to the crowd, and special events are thrown to draw investors.

The MulTie #20608


4. MATCHMAKING: All One Spark venues pick the projects that they think will attract people to their space. Creators in turn decide which venue is a good fit for them. Projects make the cut for the festival when a match is made.

Matching surfboard and clothing – you might chalk that up to something you didn’t know you needed. Shaun O’Meara shapes surfboards inlaid with colorful Hawaiian fabric (made in the U.S.A.) that are sold with a matching front-buttoned shirt and (perhaps) board shorts. If you’re macho enough to match, that is. Northbank Riverwalk, 341 S. Hogan St.


Creators register online and create an account by paying a $45-$65 registration fee. At that point, they can begin building their project profile on the One Spark site.

encouraged to promote their project using social media to demonstrate they can create a following for their idea.

Board Button Down Line #20179

7 ONE SPARK Headquarters


3. PROMOTION: Creators are

intentional, and yes, it bothers us, too) have created a unisex black leather dress belt that recharges mobile devices on the go without bulk or clutter. Jax Chamber, 3 Independent Dr.


Rajesh Verma wants to stop the spread of viruses. He can’t shout, “Keep your frickin’ hands off your face!” but that’s basically what his B.F. Skinnerish wristband does. Any time your germy hand moves close to your face, the wristband senses it and emits a warning buzz. People touch their faces 15.7 times an hour, according to a 2011 study by the National Institutes of Health. Stop it. Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr.

O2 Rocket #20370

killers out there, Schlier offers a workaround – Flip Tops – a couple of straps that wrap around the big toe, connected to a foam strap underneath, that look like sandals from above. Northbank Riverwalk, 341 S. Hogan St.


Hand Awareness Buzzer #20912

Cirmo knows what it takes to sur vive, and doesn’t need a reality show to prove it. Adams Street Venue, 110 W. Adams St.


Flip down the visors when driving right into the early morning or late afternoon sun and sightkilling rays still boggle your vision. This can be dangerous. That’s why Michael Doyle invented his simple but smart Sun Stop Visor, which fits over the rearview mirror and bridges the gap between the mirror and the visors. Sun blocked. Northbank Riverwalk, 341 S. Hogan St.


The Sun Stop Visor #20693

Eating and Drinking Spots 1. 1904 Music Hall 2. Adams Street Deli & Grill

7. Café Nola 8. Casa Dora Italian Restaurant

3. Benny’s Sandwich Shop 4. Benny’s Steak & Seafood

9. Chamblin’s Uptown Café 10. Chicago Pizza & Sports Grille

13. De Real Ting Café 14. Desert Rider 15. Dos Gatos 16. Downtown Cigar Lounge 17. Fionn MacCool’s Restaurant & Pub

5. Burrito Gallery 6. Burro Bar

11. Chomp Chomp 12. The Corner Diner

18. The Florida Theatre 19. Great Wraps

Graphics: Shan Stumpf

20. Hooters 21. Indochine 22. Juliette’s Bistro 23. La Cena Ristorante 24. Mavericks 25. Magnifi cant Café 26. Midtown Deli & Café 27. Northstar The Pizza Bar

28. Pho A Noodle Bar 29.Quiznos Subs 30. Subway 31. Underbelly 32. Village Bread Cafe 33. The Volstead 34. Zodiac Bar & Grill

Sources: One Spark (map provided by Chad Landenberger), Downtown Vision Inc., Google Maps

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 11



Backers say an aquarium can do for us what one did for the Baltimore waterfront – that is, change everything


f One Spark is about provocative ideas; if it offers Northeast Florida a seductive surfeit of intelligent, creative, dynamic people in a concentrated space, great conversation about our future and inspiration for tinkerers and dreamers; if it’s about lighting a spark Downtown toward a better tomorrow, then perhaps the sparkiest of One Spark ideas is this: a tsunami-sized ambition to build a stateof-the-art aquarium on the St. Johns River waterfront. All it will take is vision and money. Lots of money. AquaJax president George Harrell says his group will raise $100-$125 million from private investors and corporations to build a 150,000-square-foot aquatic edifice on the Northbank Riverwalk between the vacant Shipyards property and Metropolitan Park. With that kind of money, Harrell says, AquaJax can build an aquarium with a distinctive architectural profile that will change the Jacksonville skyline. The core message of sustainability and conservation will be reflected in a building that is a model of sustainability, Harrell says. The aquarium’s narrative will present the rich and diverse marine ecosystems that surround Jacksonville and the web of marine life that lives there — in the St. Johns River, in the salt marshes of the Timucuan Preserve and along the Atlantic Ocean coastline. The aquarium will educate the public on those ecosystems, provide research opportunities for marine biologists from area universities and build understanding of and sensitivity to Northeast Florida’s abundant natural resources. The biggest thing it will do, though, is bring people Downtown. And if done right, Harrell says, the new aquarium will do for Downtown what The National Aquarium did for Baltimore, the Tennessee Aquarium did for Chattanooga and the Texas State Aquarium did for Corpus Christi: turned them into destinations. “It would totally transform Downtown Jacksonville,” he says. The perfect setting is already there, he adds. “We have prime real estate that so many cities would just be so envious of, right on the river, that is just totally unused.” AquaJax has approached City Hall about leasing five acres of Metro Park on the Northbank Riverwalk. The 23-acre park is used for sprawling events like the annual World of Nations Celebration, boat shows and outdoor music concerts, including Welcome to Rockville later this month. But most of the time, it’s empty. “Place an aquarium next to Metropolitan Park or on it,” Harrell says, “and it will get a lot of use.” Aquarium visitors would create an instant audience for events in the park and turn Northbank Riverwalk into a promenade, he continues. They’d stay in our hotels and eat in our restaurants. Marketed well and packaged along with Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens — Harrell imagines

DREAM BIG: George Harrell contends that an aquarium could revitalize Downtown Jacksonville in the the same way The National Aquarium (inset) became the centerpiece of Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. Photo: Dennis Ho

eco-tours connecting the venues — AquaJax believes some of those people who now hurtle down I-95 to Miami or Orlando would take the Jacksonville exit to visit our aquarium. Harrell points to the Iowa town of Dubuque, population 58,155. Not exactly a place that would make any list of top tourist destinations. And yet Dubuque attracted more than 1.8 million tourists in 2011, according to its Chamber of Commerce. Tourism officials attribute much of that to the presence of the National Mississippi River Museum & Aquarium. If it worked in Dubuque, he argues, surely it can work here, too. Jacksonville might be forgiven for skepticism of big-bucks ideas that promise a big bang for Downtown, for wondering if this is just another promised savior: We’ve already seen the $230 million River City Renaissance, which gave us a new City Hall, renovated a football stadium and built the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts, but also demolished the historic black business and residential community of LaVilla and displaced its residents for a recreational complex that never materialized; and the 2000 Better Jacksonville Plan, which built a new main library, the new county courthouse, Veterans Memorial Arena and the Baseball Grounds of Jacksonville. These big-idea projects worked, but they remain disconnected from each other, and didn’t trigger the ever-elusive Downtown rebirth.

“It was about an overall plan. We figured out a way to highlight our natural assets.”

12 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

Would an aquarium set among the giant structures of EverBank Field, the Baseball Grounds and the arena just add yet another disconnected entertainment silo? Our collective skepticism is well-earned, but there’s reason to think this time could be different. Really.

The Equation

After a career as a newspaper advertising executive in London, Glasgow, Philadelphia and New York City, George Harrell knows how to sell an idea. He’s enthusiastic. He’s positive. He’s energetic. He pounces if he senses uncertainty. And he’s damn certain a big, new aquarium will bring Jacksonville back to life. Harrell, 72, grew up in Gainesville, where his father was the founding dean of the University of Florida’s College of Medicine. The family had a vacation house in Ponte Vedra. He visited Jacksonville often. He loved Downtown, and thought Jacksonville and its location on the St. Johns River afforded it Great American City potential. He later watched Baltimore’s waterfront be reborn, and again thought back to Jacksonville. When he returned to Gainesville for his 25th high school reunion in 1987, he stopped in to see what was happening here. He was surprised. It looked pretty much the same, except for the “For Sale” signs and the sense that Downtown had been abandoned. “I was shocked,” he says. When he decided he’d had enough of a highfueled Manhattan career that offered him little time for self or family, Harrell moved his family to Jacksonville in 1994. His began attending meetings on Downtown redevelopment. He watched money being spent. He saw plans conceived. But nothing seemed to change — not

really, not enough. Harrell grew frustrated: “Finally, I said to myself, ‘This is insane. What does this city have to do to revitalize Downtown? What single facility, what single venue would consistently bring high numbers of people to the city?’ ” His answer: “Two things: Either a worldclass aquarium or a large casino.” He laughs. “And a large casino ain’t going to happen in Jacksonville.” His equation is simple: Downtown needs people. An aquarium draws people. Therefore, Downtown needs an aquarium. “You create numbers, and everything builds from that.”

Natural Assets

Asked what AquaJax looks to as a model, Harrell quickly names the Tennessee Aquarium. When it opened in 1992, Chattanooga’s was the largest freshwater aquarium in the world. Today it helps the city draw more than a million tourists a year. But its beginnings echo that of Jacksonville’s, a city once thought of as “the armpit of Florida” because of its heavy industry along the waterfront and the stench of its paper mills. In 1969, Chattanooga cringed with embarrassment when Walter Cronkite dubbed it “the dirtiest city in America.” It might have been dirty, like Jacksonville was smelly, but there was industry there. By the 1980s, however, manufacturers had abandoned its downtown and city leaders were searching for ways to revitalize the dying urban core. Out of brainstorming sessions and charettes, the city decided that its unique asset was its location on the Tennessee River. The push to build an aquarium on the waterfront in Chattanooga anchored a $750 million plan to hook redevelopment to the

ONE SPARK 2014 river. The aquarium would tell the river’s story. It connected to a riverwalk, part of a master plan that envisioned apartments, shops and restaurants linked to other museums along the Tennessee. It worked. Downtown Chattanooga today is often praised for its walkability and bike-ability. “It wasn’t like we just plopped an aquarium down,” says Kim White, president and CEO of River City, the company that manages Downtown Chattanooga development. “It was connected to our riverwalk. It was all about a return to our river. And then it was much bigger than the river. It was about an overall plan. We figured out a way to highlight our natural assets.” Tony Vecchio, Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens executive director, agrees that an aquarium must be part of a broader scheme that guides waterfront redevelopment and links the pieces together into a whole experience. “I wouldn’t want to bet the whole Downtown on an aquarium and not doing anything else,” he says. “It should be more like in Baltimore, where the waterfront aquarium is the best piece of the puzzle.” Baltimore is the model for waterfront redevelopment around the world. The redevelopment of Baltimore’s Inner Harbor began in the late 1950s, as the city rebuilt a district of hotels, shops and office space, and expanded from there. As more venues clustered along the Inner Harbor, the city added public parks and promenades. The National Aquarium, which opened in 1981, is now the centerpiece of a district that includes the Maryland Science Center, the Reginald F. Lewis Museum of Maryland African-American History & Culture and other facilities. Baltimore figured out how to knit things together to function as a whole. Right now, the city of Jacksonville doesn’t have a plan, just people with ideas for all that great waterfront property.

All of the money for the museum will come from private and corporate donations, Harrell says. He wants the city to only help out with the land — a 99-year, $1-a-year lease for five acres of Metro Park. “There are people who have deep pockets in this city, who have money invested all around Jacksonville,” Harrell says. “For this city to all of a sudden explode is going to benefit them and their corporations.”

Narrative Is King

The aquarium AquaJax wants to build will offer a unique experience, Harrell says, because it will draw its narrative and exhibits from the waters throughout Northeast Florida. The most

successful aquariums today emphasize a local connection, according to the Association of Zoos and Aquariums (AZA). The Texas State Aquarium focuses on the Gulf of Mexico, the Tennessee Aquarium on the Tennessee River, and the National Mississippi River Museum & Aquarium on The Big Muddy, for example. “We are going to be concentrating on the very animals we have right here around us,” Harrell says. “Everybody knows we have certain fish in our waters, and people fish here. But you’d be amazed to know how few people know anything about these fish, or have seen them other than as a filet on a plate.” Visit Jacksonville agrees that the city’s tourism potential is untapped, and an aquarium

fits in well with the tourism group’s emphasis on the area’s natural assets. Indeed, the zoo is the city’s largest attraction. More than 816,000 people visited it last year. Harrell predicts the aquarium will beat that number. “I think these guys are thinking about this in the right way,” says Vecchio. “I see the aquarium as a partner and as a complement to what [the Jacksonville Zoo is] doing, and a partner in the city’s cultural community.”  Susan Cooper Eastman

During One Spark, AquaJax (Creator No. 20232) is located at Jacksonville Public Library, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown. See for more information on the project.

Money Talking

When Atlanta was building the 600,000-square-foot Georgia Aquarium, Home Depot co-founder Bernie Marcus wrote a check for $250 million and said build it. The Georgia Aquarium is now the largest one in the world. It draws 2 million visitors a year to its facility on the north end of Centennial Olympic Park. Though not quite on the same scale, the Tennessee Aquarium was also boosted by a major benefactor. To kick off fundraising for the Tennessee Aquarium, John Lupton, heir to the Coca-Cola bottling fortune, pledged $20 million. Harrell says that AquaJax will need to raise as much as $125 million to build the kind of facility he envisions. Doing it on the cheap won’t give it the impact he’s looking for. Quinton White, a professor and the executive director of the Jacksonville University’s Marine Science Research Institute, has heard talk before about building an aquarium. The stumbling block has always been money. “It’s an uphill battle raising the money, and the reality is that you can spend whatever you can get,” White says. Harrell promises a major funding announcement in the weeks following One Spark — three prominent Jacksonville families, he says, have already committed millions to the project. When other business leaders and philanthropists see who’s on board, they’ll support it, too, he adds. “We will make a major announcement. That’s all I can tell you,” says Harrell. “Once that major announcement is made, the funding will come.”

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 13



Southside resident Jim Stanford brings his game table to One Spark — just don’t play him for money


im Stanford has trouble getting out of bed. Not like you and me, lazy or begging for that three-day weekend when there isn’t one. Stanford, 57, has been legally blind since he was a child. On his 50th birthday, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. “As far as people with disabilities go, I’ve got two or three. I’m a mess,” Stanford says. Stanford is not a mess. He talks freely about his disabilities, the surgery that involved drilling into his skull while he lay awake, the 17 pills a day — all of that and more — with a playful Southern charm. But I just know he’s trying to set me up. We’re about to play mini-bowling on his Shufflebowl 300, and Stanford’s already mentioned we could This isplay a copyright protected proof © for $5. Keep in mind that he helped design the table For questions, please call your advertising 260-9770. and therepresentative game, building and at rebuilding it over FAX YOUR PROOF IFdecades. POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 the past two Keep in mind that he hasn’t lost at this 031914 particular game in five years — hundreds, probably thousands of games. Produced by _KL Checked by Sales Rep KL_ SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Keep in mind that as a real bowler in the ’70s, he claimed multiple city championships — more than 70 amateur titles — despite the fact that those pins, 60 feet down the lane, were just a white blur. I’m not playing Jim Stanford on his table for money. Shufflebowl 300 is a reversible 10-feetlong-by-16-inch-wide table with more than 30 playable games — shuffleboard, mini-bowling and more. The bowling interests Stanford more than any other, and not just because he’s a lifelong kegler. Blind or in a wheelchair, anyone can play SB300 bowling. Two blind people can play without assistance, because a pinsetter is used to align the pins perfectly. Stanford says few activities are open to the disabled, and even fewer — maybe no game but his — put sighted and blind players on equal terms. “Braille indicators,” as Stanford calls them, can be used to set the position of the launch ramp used to roll the European Snooker ball down the lane. It’s to the players’ advantage — even sighted players’ — to use these guides to line up their shots. The table’s contoured surface simulates the curve the pros’ rolls take. Stanford loves to recount stories of others with disabilities enjoying the game, remembering a girl of about 12 years old, in a wheelchair, who was hesitant to play. “She was shaking her head, real nervous. But that smile never left her face,” Stanford recalls. The girl came back, and after one shot at minibowling, she didn’t want to leave. His voice cracks as he tells it. Stanford had his own challenges to overcome as a child. He was born with optical atrophy in his right eye and developed it in his left eye by age 8. “I couldn’t play baseball or football. I’ve never driven a car. I’ve never read a book,” Stanford says. That’s all true, but remember, Stanford is still


GOT GAME? Jim Stanford will put his five-year unbeaten streak on the line during One Spark. Photo: Dennis Ho

Funds raised at One Spark will be used to trying to get my $5. Stanford and his wife, Annette, raised keep the table affordable, improve accessories, two children, and he worked for two decades design a new website and keep the manufacture with Roper’s Paint & Body on Leon Road. His in the city. Stanford says he might eventually peripheral vision does help at times, but the develop a longer table. Jay McWilliams, a key architect in the SB300 bodywork was all about feel and the painting redesign, says he wouldn’t have backed the was all about the prep work. “I’ve always been good with my hands. Just project as readily if not for Stanford’s intensity. “Some people just lay down and die. He ask her,” Stanford says, nodding toward Annette. doesn’t do that,” McWilliams When he was diagnosed says. “He’s going at it all day.” with Parkinson’s seven years Stanford has shown ago, he retired and redoubled SHUFFLEBOWL 300 his game at Florida School his efforts on Shufflebowl 300 Inventor: Jim Stanford, for the Deaf & the Blind, — his passion project. Alternative Vision, LLC Category: Innovation ILAB (Independent Living He had received the Creator: #20392 for Adult Blind) at Florida original patent on the Venue: Downtown product in 1992, but the State College at Jacksonville, Main Library, 303 N. Laura St. first company he used to Jacksonville University, manufacture the board, the University of North Playmaster Renaissance, Florida and the Federation was bought by AMF of the Blind. and his game was lost in the shuffle. (AMF During One Spark, he’ll set up five tables in didn’t deliver on an order of 200 tables, the Downtown Main Library for all players. Stanford says.) A couple weeks ago, I took Stanford up on his After retiring, Stanford turned to a family- mini-bowling challenge (sans money). He gave owned company based Downtown. Jay and me mulligans on several gutters, but it didn’t Chris McWilliams of J.C. Manufacturing matter. I was quickly in the hole. He coached me helped redesign the table, up, and I finished with four strikes in a row. I still lost 191-150. adding a new ball-launch Stanford kicked my ass and made me feel ramp, an automatic ball return, an improved pinsetter good while he did it. I think that 191 he put up and even LED lights down was a sign he’s still angling for my five bucks on the lane (yes, LED lights, at the rematch. He’ll put his unbeaten streak on the line Stanford’s request). Stanford has invested more at One Spark, playing blindfolded against all than $70,000 with McWilliams challengers, he tells me (always the showman). The streak, he says, will most likely end this on a handshake deal. “Trust someone week, on account of his Parkinson’s. “The cat-like agility is gone. I’m like a bull or don’t trust anyone,” Stanford says. “They’re in a china shop,” he says. “The first thing to go from New England, but we don’t hold that is the nerve.” More than the wins, his passion is for against them.” Jay McWilliams, his wife Chris (the creating a game that put the sighted and blind company’s owner), their son and grandson built on “equal terms.” “On this one,” he says, “a blind person can an inventory of 50 Shufflebowl tables. The tables are priced from $1,895 to $2,195, depending on eat you alive.”  the optional pieces and finishes. So far, they’ve David Johnson sold eight of the 50 made.

“I’ve always been good with my hands. Just ask her.”

14 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

© 2014

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 15


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HANDMADE IN JACKSONVILLE: Clayton Smith wants to makes bikes that last forever. Photo: Dennis Ho


Sales Rep CJ

Clayton Smith wants to make it in Jacksonville, and he made us believers


layton Smith has been working out the manufacturers shut down. He couldn’t import design for the ultimate bicycle for the Chinese parts and compete on price. That’s the political underpinning to his last five years, part of his mission to bring back the Emory Bicycle and re-establish dream. He thinks the United States needs to the American bicycle manufacturing industry. rebuild its manufacturing base. Now Smith He designed and patented a stem that connects says he’s ready to re-enter the industry. He the fork and handlebar. He’s located stainless has the plans, the parts, the manufacturing steel tubing for the frame that will be as light know-how and the patents to build a sturdy, as the frame of a titanium bike. He bought the light, comfortable bicycle with most of its seat manufacturing equipment from Messinger, parts manufactured here in Jacksonville. which made seats for Schwinn and Emory If he can’t make a certain part in the city, at least he’s buying top-ofbefore Emory closed. the-line parts for the rest of Smith comes from a the bicycle, which will be storied bicycle business. His THE EMORY VR-1 manufactured here. father Clayton and uncle Inventor: Clayton Smith, The new seven-speed Willard opened a bicycle Csmith Mfg. Co./Aerofast Emory will have a seamless shop in Miami in the 1940s and Emory Bicycles of Jax stainless-steel tubing for the and were the southeastern Category: Innovation frame, ground to be as light distributers of Schwinn Creator: #20147 Venue: Forge 3D as titanium, SKF-tapered bicycles in Jacksonville. In Printing Studio, 109 E. Bay St. roller bearings, Kevlar1976, Smith and his father infused tires, Shimano gears began manufacturing the and an American-made Gate Emory bicycle as a belt drive instead of a chain. workhorse machine marketed for industrial and government applications. (A belt is lower maintenance, doesn’t rust and (There are Emory bicycles from that era still in lasts longer than a chain.) use at Naval Air Station Jacksonville.) He’ll manufacture the wheels, frame, The single-speed bicycles, with their wide, handlebars, hub, headset, fenders, seats, stem comfortable seats, also became popular as beach and kickstand. Jacksonville’s Velocity will make cruisers and road bikes. And each Emory bore the rims. The Emory horsehead tag will again a metal tag, with a horse’s head and the insignia advertise “Handmade” in “Jacksonville, Florida.” “Handmade” in “Jacksonville, Florida.” That “Nobody else is doing that. That’s what gives the vintage bicycles a special appeal on the makes it unique,” Smith says. “It has usability, durability, eye appeal and something that sets Jacksonville market. Smith says he was selling 5,000 bicycles a it apart, high craftsmanship. We’re not making year before the bottom fell out of the industry. In the most expensive bicycle ever made. We the mid-’90s, Smith says, he could no longer buy are making the best bicycle ever made. It will U.S. bike parts because when Schwinn, Raleigh, last forever.”  Murray, Huffy and other bicycle companies Susan Cooper Eastman took their business to China, American

16 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014



Last year, 406 One Spark creator projects won nearly $260,000 in crowdfunded prizes. We caught up with a few of them to find out where that money went. PROJECT: 5 & Dime CREATOR: Judy Gould WINNINGS: $2,350.53

The theater company’s goal is to enliven Jacksonville’s urban core through a dedication to arts and culture, and to that end has put on six shows in the last year. 5 & Dime used last year’s winnings to rent spaces for productions, and for costumes and lighting equipment.

PROJECT: Beyond the Façade CREATOR: Douglas Eng WINNINGS: $4,255.57

The big idea behind Beyond the Façade is to display 2D and 3D artwork on abandoned buildings to beautify Downtown. Eng spent about a month and a half preparing and printing the murals displayed on Laura Street during last year’s One Spark. The winnings roughly covered the materials he paid for. “I would definitely do it again, but I need a year off,” he says.

PROJECT: Caricature of Shahid Khan CREATOR: Lucas Waterworth WINNINGS: $197

Waterworth likes to tease even the good guys. His One Spark booth consisted of 50 caricatures of local influential people. It was a great opportunity to market himself, he says, but from a financial perspective, it just wasn’t worth it. “I don’t even remember how I spent [the money],” says Waterworth.

PROJECT: Civil Brute CREATOR: Colin Robert Adkins WINNINGS: $168.86

Adkins refers to Civil Brute’s sound as “bummer anthem” – indie rock isn’t very accurate, he says. The amount of scratch Civil Brute got from One Spark wasn’t enough to launch the project, but they weren’t too focused on votes coming in. “Right now, like then, we just want to play as many shows as possible,” Adkins says. “We got to play in front of a lot of people in a short span of time.” They’re keeping busy. This year, Civil Brute has six confirmed shows for One Spark, and Adkins will be playing some solo sets as well.

PROJECT: Emerald City CREATOR: Jessica Lauren Gay WINNINGS: $1,778.51

Emerald City is an environmental initiative to create greener facilities in the urban core. Gay used the earnings to put a dent in the $10,000 she’s spent outof-pocket on the project. “We certainly hoped for more, and I feel One Spark could have done a better job,” Gay says. “The voting and contribution system wasn’t set up well enough last year. Hopefully that will be different this year.” This year, Gay is pitching BEA Jewel, a physical extension of the concept of Emerald City. The project proposes a greenhouse for the LaVilla area. “We can’t do anything unless we can buy land,” Gay says.

PROJECT: Fjord Explorer CREATOR: Connor Hickey WINNINGS: $286.12

After performing eight shows over three days during last year’s One Spark, indie duo Fjord Explorer earned $286.12, which it put toward recording its first LP. “The record – not including miscellaneous expenses like gas and food and travel – cost about $1,500,” Hickey says. “So it helped, but it definitely didn’t pay the bill. The main benefit was the connections we made.” Fjord Explorer is participating in One Spark this year to help fund an “old-school” tour bus that can run on biodiesel. They expect to release their record early this summer.

PROJECT: Kona School CREATOR: James Smith WINNINGS: $5,580.85

Kona School did well last year, though it definitely invested a healthy amount of cheddar into its booth. The skatepark-inspired school spent a few thousand dollars setting up an interactive model of a classroom inside Burro Bar. Smith put the earnings toward this and other expenses. “We knew going in that the prize money wasn’t going to be substantial to our expenses,” Smith says. “Our main goal was to help inform parents and adults who might have been skeptical about a school

sharing a name with a skatepark. We wanted to rebrand our image from a skatepark to a school that can really engage kids in learning. I’m extremely stoked about how we came away from that experience.” Kona School is back this year with a goal of $40,000 to help fund a model for a two-week summer learning program.

PROJECT: MOJO Customtees CREATOR: Schatachee Sanchez Carr WINNINGS: $4.69

With only one vote, MOJO Customtees came away with just $4.69 – the lowest crowdfunding amount of One Spark 2013. Carr, a college student, says the experience wasn’t a total bust. He was swamped with orders and wasn’t able to properly set up his project – hence the low amount. “I did end up getting a lot of customers out of the experience,” he says.


PROJECT: Paper Cut CREATOR: Hiromi Moneyhun WINNINGS: $886.51

Moneyhun creates intricate designs out of customcut strips of paper. She used her earnings to reimburse herself for materials like X-Acto knives, which she works through quickly. “Well, I’m still a starving artist,” she says, “I pay for all of my materials out-of-pocket. I was able to use the money to restock on those, and I was able to update my website.” Moneyhun won’t be participating in One Spark this year, but another project that is will use some of her artwork. The main benefit, she says, was the increased acknowledgment her PROMISE OF of BENEFIT work. “People will now come up to me in the grocery store and say, ‘Hey, you’re that artist from One Spark last year,’ ” she says.

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PROJECT: Rat Queen CREATOR: Jenny Hager WINNINGS: $436.22

Hager is working on creating 10 more large-scale sculptures of animals that represent the signs of the Chinese Zodiac. She received a Spark Grant, which helped provide the funds to undertake such a project. The sculptures will be on display in a Downtown park for one year. Hager says that her One Spark project, a rat sculpture, cost her about $2,400 to make. “Personally, I’m not sure that it was worthwhile,” Hager says. “But at least my participation in the festival really helped Jacksonville.”

PROJECT: Rethreaded CREATOR: Kristin Keen WINNINGS: $7,066.33

Rethreaded is a project that helps local women battling addiction, violence, being involved in human trafficking and prostitution. Keen says her experience at One Spark was “magical.” She put the group’s winnings toward its training programs. Rethreaded is launching a social media campaign to thank One Spark and Jacksonville for their help.

PROJECT: Spark District CREATOR: Lisa Goodrich and the Cultural Council of Greater Jacksonville WINNINGS: $1,426.61

Spark District used the money it won at One Spark 2013, as part of a larger pool, to provide grants to four individual artists Downtown – including songwriter Brad Lauretti and The Looking Lab’s Joy Leverette, both of whom have graced the cover of this magazine in recent months. The Cultural Council is coming back this year as a curator.

PROJECT: Urban Mural Project CREATOR: Cris Dan WINNINGS: $278.66

Urban Mural Project was a mural on Laura Street New York-based artist Dan created with the help of local schoolchildren. He says he focused less on networking his project and more on working with the children, and – though that ultimately left him with fewer votes – he feels those who saw his art got a better sense of what it was about. This year, Dan is hosting an independent art installation on the roof of the Times-Union Center combining a painted mural with a light show.  Travis Crawford and Amal Kamal APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 17

Sales Re


GLOBAL-MINDED NUPTIALS Your wedding dress is gorgeous. How many orphans could it feed?


f you were a child of the ’90s, you probably remember Nick News and Linda Ellerbee’s smiling face delivering kid-friendly sound bites. For Danielle Calhoun, 28, those sound bites were more than background noise on Saturday morning. Ellerbee’s famous tagline, “If you want to know, ask!” still rings in her ears. Fast-forward to 2014. Calhoun wants to know how many orphans can be fed with the money spent on your typical wedding dress. Her company, Black Sheep Bride, has an unusual mission: harnessing the billion-dollar wedding industry and funneling those funds toward global change. No big deal. As a wedding photographer, Calhoun documented countless kisses, smiles and flowing white dresses. She also observed a lot of excess. The average wedding costs around $25,000. This is also the amount Calhoun hopes to raise at One Spark, 10 percent of which will go toward building a skate park in a West African orphanage. “We overlook our wealth,” Calhoun says. “We have all this money at our fingertips in the wedding industry and we’re not doing anything with it. A wedding can have a much bigger impact past the wedding day.” Black Sheep Bride wants to connect couples with vendors who pledge to use part of their profits toward charitable causes, thus transforming a wedding day into a tool of change. Photo courtesy of Black Sheep Bride “Your wedding day is the one day in your life where you have everyone who supports you present and meat-or-fish dinner to feed not only your willing and ready to listen,” Calhoun says. “You guests, but also inner-city school children. You get the idea. have the stage.” Calhoun wants to use One Spark funds “I’m afraid people will think of Black Sheep to flesh out BSB’s online Bride as budget-friendly,” presence and begin building Calhoun says. “I want those BLACK SHEEP BRIDE a national vendor database, brides who spend $30K to spend Creator: Danielle Calhoun in which vendors would pay a that $30K, but I want them to Category: Innovation membership fee in exchange for spend it on vendors who have a Creator: #20976 foot traffic. Calhoun will start by global impact.” Venue: Jacksonville hand-selecting two vendors from Calhoun wants you to imagine Landing, 2 Independent Dr. each state in an effort to start an a bride in her gown, lifting her industry-wide chain reaction. veil to serve in a soup kitchen. The ultimate goal is to Imagine her hiking up her lacy create a global movement of brides who are train to help plant a community garden. She being more mindful of their choices and promises that as a bride, you can have your cake, crafting weddings that make a statement: and eat it, too.  Turn those tacky bridesmaids’ dresses into Carley Robinson a chance to save homeless pets. Use that

18 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

engine 15 We want to develop a system that uses

The Zero Hassle Estimate Initiative is our commitment to help you get a fair price on quality products from qualified contractors.

and green our planet. Beer creating grass.

Creator No. 20812

Creator No. 20651

The ARTery

berry good farms

water from the brewing process to irrigate

visitors in Northeast Florida.

Berry Good Farms On the Go will be operated exclusively by young adults with intellectual disabilities, offering lunches made with “fresh from the farm” ingredients. Wells Fargo bldg, Booth #28.

Creator No. 20145

Creator No. 20468

In The Pink

pratt guys

The Fidelity Investments Jacksonville Dragon Boat Festival promotes our river and downtown. All proceeds benefit women with cancer in our community through In The Pink, a local non-profit.

Visit the Pratt Guys village in Hemming Plaza, then #VotePRATT, to help us open the first ever #PrattGuysStore.

The ARTery project will provide a cultural resource for artists, students, citizens and

Creator No. 20596

Kid Keemo

Herd of Watts

Kid Keemo and the Med Gown Gang are characters for kids with cancer. Find us at #edspark @ the Wells Fargo Bldg.

Herd of Watts needs your help to grow! We are pursuing a “Bandwagon” to tour regionally; stop by Underbelly or for info & downloads.

Creator No. 20410

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three muses Our goal is to produce quality corsets and educate on proper fitting, lacing, waist training, and general wear and care. Visit us at 40 W. Monroe St.

Creator No. 20100

Creator No. 20460

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 19


Aqua jax

Jax Sci Fest

Discovery House

We provide adaptive equipment and financial assistance to children and adults living with disabilities. Cast your vote #20139 to continue the good work founder JT began.

Aqua Jax is an advocacy group bringing a large aquarium to Jax. Check out tropical fish, horseshoe crabs, a photo opp with a Mermaid and Jacksonville Sharks mascot Chum.

Creator No. 20139

Foundation Academy team creates interactive sculpture promoting 3rd Annual Jacksonville Science Festival March 5, 6, & 7, 2015. More at

Seeking an educational, outdoor space at our playschool. A natural area where children can learn from the ground up. Located: The Art Center II, 229 N. Hogan St.

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Creator No. 20322

Our Wilderness in Watercolor



Michael Dunlap A digital photographic series exploring the Florida landscape, ReConstructed toward an enigma, creating a sense of the life we all share. Venue: Southlight Gallery.

Seeking to paint 8 more large-scale watercolors for inclusion in a book and traveling art exhibit titled ‘The Wilderness of North Florida’s Parks.’ Come see them at my showcase.

LiveSMART mobile unit and Green Spark app.

Creator No. 20157

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Creator No. 20109

Girls Rock camp

riverside stitch society

hunger fight

Girls Rock Camp Jacksonville is a music and DIY arts camp for girls. One Spark funds will go towards renting a permanent space so we can provide year round programming.

Riverside Stitch Society aims to foster the love of all things fiber. We plan to open a storefront & Stitch School in Jax’s urban core.

Significantly reducing the number of hungry children and families in the First Coast and surrounding areas.

Creator No. 20288

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Hitching you up to local green scene with Help us light green sparks!

tea haus & jÜs bar North Florida's First Medicinal Tea Haus & Jüs Bar: revitalizing natural health and wisdom, one sip at a time.

ABC Lawn solar

Bay Street West through Art in Public Places.

A Media Connection for Women 50+ We aren’t your blue-haired grandmas! Visit us at: River City Gourmet Shoppe at The Landing.

Creator No. 20093

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Creator No. 20682

Community Couriers


eco relics

A system that moves unused food and resources from local restaurants to fuel sustainable social enterprises. It will allow us to collect, produce and sell within the community.

Reclaiming and reusing architectural salvage and construction materials, which make up 25% of our nation's landfills. Our venue is located on Main Street Park.

Community Couriers is sustainability based grocery shopping & restaurant delivery, proudly serving Jacksonville’s urban core & surrounding historic districts.

TheArts will assist individuals in crisis by reproducing local artwork in a downtown production facility, gallery, classroom and coffee shop.

Creator No. 20030

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Creator No. 20510

Bibo Outfitters Inc

inspired life sewing

Towable survival trailer with supplies and equipment for 30 days Be Prepared Not Scared

Inspired Life Sewing Studio will offer fashion design classes, summer camps, fashion shows, photo shoots, and after school programs.

Creator No. 20394

Creator No. 20027

Building a difference

about themselves.

We are a grassroots documentary series based in Jacksonville, FL featuring people, non-profits, and ministries that are truly building a difference in the lives of those in desperate need.

Creator No. 20047

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Creator No. 20318

Huggable Melodies...when growing up is hard.

Creator No. 20622 20 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

A vote for us helps children feel better

pylon supports on Hogan Street as well as

conscious market

Establish Mad Cowford as the destination in Jacksonville for inventive entertainment and education that inspires lives through improvisation.

A Belly Dance Fitness Program designed for all. Our goal is to recruit instructors to teach our dance format worldwide!

Skyway mural project will create murals on

Duval Art Teachers Association-Northeast Florida Scholastic Art Awards Scholarship and Educational Opportunities for students, and to establish this initiative as part of our artistic community.

mad cowford improv

huggable melodies

we’re not! dead yet

ABC Lawn is a solar-charged, battery-powered lawn service. Revolutionizing lawn care with solar and electrical solutions which increases profits and decreases pollution. WISHING JUST GOT REAL! With you can share your dreams, wishes & goals with your friends, family and the world with the purpose of making them come true.

Creator No. 20096


face to face





Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week


If one song could sum up the ’60s, it’d be The Zombies’ haunting “Time of the Season.” The ironic part is that it didn’t become a hit (and a movie, TV and commercial staple) until nearly two years after the British psych-pop band broke up. Core members Rod Argent, Colin Blunstone, Paul Atkinson, Chris White and Hugh Grundy reunited only once, in 1997, before Argent and Blunstone compiled a new backing band and released two new albums in the 2000s. The Zombies have a lasting influence on everything from prog-rock to freak folk to jazz fusion, a feat recognized on April 10 when they were inducted into the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame. 7 p.m., April 13 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $49.50-$59.50.


Large, organized events that involve cycling, running, walking or a combination of all three always seem to benefi t some vague charity that looms in the shadows. The 10th annual Katie Ride, however, benefits a charity that deserves to be in the spotlight. David and Susan Caples started the foundation after their 17-year-old daughter died in an automobile accident. Katie had registered to be an organ donor – that’s how she improved and helped save the lives of five people. The ever-growing cycling event hopes to raise awareness and funds for organ donation. 6 a.m. April 12, Atlantic Recreation Center, Amelia Island, $10-$45.


Bias alert: Years ago, the editor of this esteemed publication played in a rock ’n’ roll band with David Oakley, the guitarist for the Orlando indie pop outfit Empire Theory, which is playing at One Spark’s opening ceremony. (Said editor would like to remind said guitar player that he still has his 1998 American Fender Stratocaster, which he misses terribly.) All that aside, the band is really quite good, and since you’re going to the One Spark opening ceremony anyway – of course you are – you’re going to check them out, and you’re going to like them, and you’ll discover that they’re awesome guys, and then you’ll tell your friends you heard about them here first. They’ll be playing half-hour sets before and after the ceremony, as well as providing backing-band duties during. (Then they’ll be meeting up with our editor to return his damn guitar. Right, fellas?) 6 p.m. April 9 at Hemming Plaza, Downtown, free.


The third annual Tour de Farm, hosted by Slow Food First Coast, is giving Northeast Florida another chance to meet the unsung heroes who put food on our tables. It’s an opportunity for the public to meet farmers who produce food locally, as well as chefs and artisans who use locally grown ingredients. Participants can take tours of the farms and purchase their own locally grown produce and fresh meats. A one-time $5 donation allows access to all participating farms for the entire day, and helps support Slow Food First Coast’s mission, educational programs and events. Noon-5 p.m., April 13, tickets $5 per adult, presale tickets at



We hate to use clichés, but there’s really no other way to put it: Paula Poundstone has done it all. In addition to performing standup shows all over the nation, she dabbled in politics as a correspondent during the 1992 presidential campaign, became the first woman to perform at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, is still a regular panelist on NPR’s weekly quiz show, Wait Wait … Don’t Tell Me, wrote a book, adopted children and even got arrested. That’s what we call show business. 8 p.m. April 12, The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $25-$50. 22 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014


A single night out of the year, upstanding local blaze-squelchers and crime-stoppers take a break from kicking in doors and windows and teeth and rescuing pets from trees to clobber the pulp out of one another – in the name of charity, of course. Special guest R. Lee Ermey – best known as the steel-jawed sergeant in Full Metal Jacket – is on hand to ensure a clean fight, and (we hope) say things like, “The first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be ‘sir.’ Do you maggots understand me?” Because that would be amazeballs. 6:30 p.m. April 12 at Veterans Memorial Arena, Downtown, $15-$60; proceeds benefit Police and Firefighters charities.

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 23


TRUE TO THIS Los Angeles indie rockers Local Natives haven’t let

success affect their soaring, emotionally resonant music


24 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

incubation stage, will be different — even as ardon the insensitivity, but since indie it honors the band’s trademark warmth. “A rock broke big in the early 2000s, many lot of stuff I’ve been personally working on is careers have mirrored the trajectory of in a better place than [Hummingbird], which Malaysia Air Flight No. 370: lift off, soar for a short time, vanish off the face of the planet. was difficult to make for a lot of reasons,” he explains. “It’s hard to say what [the third Not so with Los Angeles quartet Local album] will sound like, but I wouldn’t be Natives, a band whose musical style is easily describable — soaring, Afro-pop-influenced, surprised if it feels a lot more electronic. I want to try a lot of things this time around anthemic, harmonious — but whose that I might not have had the intuition to ambitions far exceed most acts working try the first or second time. But the right in a similar vein. Taylor Rice, Kelcey Ayer, components are still there: It’s still us sharing Ryan Hahn and Matt Frazier (joined on ourselves [with] and baring ourselves to tour by bassist Nik Ewing), most of whom people that works in a good way.” have performed together since high school, can easily sell out medium-sized clubs on Such intimacy is rare in today’s musical the road and even more sizable venues in world, yet it explains so much of Local Natives’ L.A. (They even performed with the L.A. success. While thousands of musical careers Philharmonic in 2011 at the Frank Gehryhave crashed and burned over the past 10 years, designed Walt Disney Concert Hall.) these longtime friends are still making coherent, heartfelt music in a legitimately egalitarian But since the beginning of their career, way, while emerging relatively Local Natives have also unscathed from the indiethrived in high-profile LOCAL NATIVES with rock hype machine, which has opening spots, warming MOSES SUMNEY bestowed countless awards up arena crowds for 8 p.m. April 17, Freebird Live, (including NME’s hardestheavyweights like Arcade 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, working band of 2013) on them. Fire, The National and, earlier $20 in advance, $25 at the door, this spring, Kings of Leon. “For us, everything feels 246-2473, “It’s always cool to open for the same as it’s always felt,” a band that’s doing so well,” Ayer says. “We’ve been busy Ayer, who plays keyboards nonstop since 2008 — and and sings, told Folio Weekly on a day off even before that we were in a band out of high in March. “But the set list is cut in half for school, struggling through college when we opening slots. It’s almost a little bit like a wanted something to happen. So when Local festival, where we have to prove ourselves. Natives started picking up, it didn’t feel like an That’s a fun position to be in, but I actually overnight thing to us. Our first album came think headlining shows are easier. We have out in 2009. We toured throughout that year so much love on our side — the audience is and 2010. We spent two months working with there for us and we’re there for them.” the L.A. Philharmonic to start 2011. We went to Mexico and on tour with Arcade Fire. We That emotional answer provides the first worked on the second album from summer of hint at what has kept Local Natives going 2011 to summer of 2012. We toured hard in since the band formed in 2008. Across 2013. And now I’m talking to you.” two full-length albums, the band’s music has maintained its immediate, gloriouslyFlorida fans will surely be thrilled that the shouting-right-in-your-ear edge. Its 2009 band is opening such a conversation in the debut Gorilla Manor was hailed as an upbeat Sunshine State, where they haven’t played since slice of indie pop heaven, but the record’s 2010. “Because of routing, we always end up first big hit, “Airplanes,” was a pleading not going to Florida,” Ayer says. “Anytime we tribute to the memory of Ayer’s grandfather. post stuff on Twitter or Instagram, there are at Meanwhile, 2013’s critically acclaimed least three comments fervently begging us to Hummingbird centered on the poignant ‘Come to Florida!’ So we’re pumped to finally “Columbia,” which wrestled with the death of be able to get down there.”  Ayer’s mother. Nick McGregor Yet Ayer says the next album, still in its


CLAY COUNTY FAIR: Kellie Pickler, Sally Ann, Jamie Davis, Rion Paige, The Swon Brothers, Dennis Lee Band, The Sweeney Family Band, Stephen Carey, Thomas Rhett, Just Us Band, Deep Creek, Big Cyprus, David Milam, Cole Tomlinson, Chloe Channell, Crossroads & Steve Amburgey, Woods & Bridges Bluegrass, Wayne Worley, The Sheehans, Little Buck, Skeeter & Slim the Backwoods Boys, Willy’s Washboard Jamboree, Diamond Rio April 9-12, S.R. 16, Green Cove Springs, free admission, some concerts require tickets, AUTHORITY ZERO, DONALD SPENCE, PRIDELESS, STATUS FAUX 8 p.m. April 9 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $15, 398-7496. DAVID JACOBS-STRAIN 7:30 p.m. April 9 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. BLACKJACK BILLY 6 p.m. April 10 at Mavericks at the Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, $10-$15, 356-1110. WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL: The Allman Brothers Band, Trey Anastasio Band, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Tedeschi Trucks Band, Gov’t Mule, Jaimoe’s Jasssz Band, Umphrey’s McGee, Ziggy Marley, Blues Traveler, Chris Robinson Brotherhood, Hot Tuna Electric, moe., Rusted Root, Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk, Royal Southern Brotherhood, Walter Trout, Rob Garza, Blind Boys of Alabama, Bobby Lee Rodgers, Melvin Seals & JGB, Futurebirds, Matt Schofield, Break Science, Sean Chambers, The Yeti Trio April 10-12 at Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park, 3076 95th Dr., Live Oak, $238, 386-364-1683. STRUNG LIKE A HORSE 8 p.m. April 10 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. THE BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA 8 p.m. April 11 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $40-$45, 209-0399. FRAMING HANLEY, DEAR ABBEY, SURVIVING SEPTEMBER, KNOCK FOR SIX, URSA MINOR 6:30 p.m. April 11 at Brewster’s Megaplex, 845 University Blvd. N., Arlington, $12, 223-9850. TAMBOR 7:30 p.m. April 11 at Rain Dogs, 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969. NORTHE, DARKHORSE SALOON, WINTER WAVE, FJORD EXPLORER, CHIEFORA 8 p.m. on April 11 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, free, 353-4686. BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, JUKE, DALTON STANLEY 8 p.m. on April 11 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. GENERATOR, IN WHISPERS, APPALACHIAN DEATH TRAP 8 p.m. on April 11 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $8, 246-2473. RAY WYLIE HUBBARD, THE 77D’s 8 p.m. on April 12 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $15, 3987496. KING EDDIE & PILI PILI 9 p.m.-1 a.m. April 12 at Island Girl, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, Southside, 854-6060. WHITE FANG, DENNEY & THE JETS, THE MOLD 8 p.m. on April 12 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, free, 353-4686. SAM PACETTI, FOUR FAMILIES, SCOTT JONES DANCERS, CATHEDRAL ARTS PROJECT Starts at 10:30 a.m. on April 12 at Riverside Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., free. UNIVERSAL GREEN, TOMBOI 7:30 p.m. on April 12 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 353-6067. DOPAPOD, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE 8 p.m. on April 12 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, $12, 246-2473. DIERKS BENTLEY, FRANKIE BALLARD, BROTHERS OSBORNE 7 p.m. on April 12 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., $46.50-$62.50, 209-0367. OYSTER JAM MUSIC FEST: Split Tone, Be Easy, Michael Jordan, Rawmyst, S.P.O.R.E., Firewater Tent Revival, Beau Knott & the Burners, Mama Blue, Chris Williams, Brent Byrd, Rip Currents, Kia Nicole, Palm Trees & Powerlines April 12 and 13 at Metropolitan Park, 1410 Gator Bowl Blvd., Downtown, $10, JON VEZNER 7:30 p.m. on April 13 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008. THE ZOMBIES, PAT SANSONE, THE AUTUMN DEFENSE 8 p.m. on April 13 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., $49.50-$59.50, 209-0399.

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BLIND BOYS GET AROUND: The Blind Boys of Alabama stop by for a set April 10 at Wanee Music Festival in Live Oak – the whole thing runs through April 12 – then they’re at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall on April 11. MOON TAXI, CHRIS WOODS 8 p.m. on April 13 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $15, 398-7496. THE HILLBENDERS, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE 7:30 p.m. on April 13 at CafÊ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, $15, 460-9311. THE VALLEY ROOTS 9 p.m. on April 14 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 353-6067. SONS OF FATHERS 8 p.m. on April 15 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, $8, 398-7496. BASS LINE BUMS, STATUS FAUX 8 p.m. on April 15 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686. LEDISI 8 p.m. on April 16 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $44-$74, 355-2787. PURPLE 8 p.m. on April 16 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, $5, 353-4686.


LOCAL NATIVES April 17, Freebird Live MITCH KUHMAN BAND April 17, Sangrias GOO GOO DOLLS, RUN RIVER NORTH April 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOGGSIE BRIGADE April 17, Jack Rabbits MEAN MARY April 17, Mudville Music Room MISS MASSIVE SNOWFLAKE April 17, Rain Dogs WILLIAM BORG, SCHMITT, WEEKEND ATLAS April 17, Burro Bar TINSLEY ELLIS April 18, Mojo Kitchen CONSIDER THE SOURCE April 18, Underbelly TECH N9NE, KRIZZ KALIKO, JARREN BRENTON, PSYCH WARD DRUGGIES, FREDDIE GIBBS April 18, Brewster’s Edge LESS THAN JAKE, SIDEREAL April 18, Jack Rabbits







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APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 25





Bassist Taylor Griffin fills out the groove rom time to time, I’ll use this column to revisit some of the best (and worst) local with a meaty doubling of Strawn’s riffs. releases of the last two decades. Having Think Atomic Bitchwax with more finesse moved to Jacksonville in the early part of and better vocals and you’re getting close to 1995, and having joined Folio Weekly shortly Gizzard’s rocky edge. thereafter, I amassed quite an archive of tapes There’s a ton of experimentation on Kill and CDs from area bands. Some very talented and Reissue, too. Trippy, synthy mindbenders people have made some amazing music here. like “Neptune Supersprite” and “The Digital Some of them gave it up a long time ago, Horseman” offer ambient breathers between while others remained active in the music the power funk that dominates the album. All community despite their advancing age and of this is threaded together with the late Brian need for real income. Hicks’ muscular sax and delicate flute lines. Looking back on releases from our Strawn remembers: “Gizzard began shortly collective past, I hope to tweak the memories after some friends told me about Brian Hicks, of old scenesters while turning the younger a guy from the Nease High School band who generation on to what was happening back in liked punk rock and hardcore and played the day. Most of this stuff is fairly hard to find saxophone and flute. We met over the phone nowadays but, when possible, and began to talk for hours about I’ll provide information on rock, punk, hardcore, friends and Score Gizzard’s Kill how to obtain copies. (If you life. We soon started hanging out and Reissue CD have archival local music and and seeing what could happen. for $7 at would like to remember it in The first time I met him, he was Dirty Slacks website, print, email me at theknife@ wearing Ocean Pacific corduroy shorts, navy blue dress socks This week’s Knife is dedicated and jogging shoes. We started to that magnificent band Gizzard and their collaborating on songs.” legendary album Kill and Reissue. Well, Hicks was always a visible part of legendary in my mind, anyway. Gizzard was Jacksonville’s music community. So many that rare combination of solid musicianship, people were touched by his music, and many raw talent and fearless experimentation, all of us had the privilege of playing with him. of which was made manifest on their 1999 We lost him too early — in 2010 to stomach release. cancer. I was a notary at the time, and I was asked by his family to sign his death Kill and Reissue opens with the intense jam certificate. Listening to Kill and Reissue is a “Nowhere’s,” a loose, heavy blast of choppy bittersweet experience, but a testament to funk accented with guitarist Chris Strawn’s Hicks’ ability to rock your face off one minute inimitable vocals. Slightly off pitch, incredibly and down-tempo your ass the next. soulful and just a little angry, Strawn’s singing Gizzard was one of my favorite local style was all his own. He was powerful and bands, and Kill and Reissue my favorite of punkish, but there was something lovely and their three records (the other two are We sincere there, too. No one sings like him, and Did Some Things in 1998 and 2000’s Denise!). no one should ever try. Strawn went on to form Brass Castle, another Gizzard’s penchant for badass riffage terrific little project. But for me, Gizzard cannot be overstated, and the blistering was the shit, exactly what we all needed in opening riffs in “Nowhere’s” continue to a unique time in Jacksonville’s local music pop up again and again throughout Kill and history. Hell, we could use a little Gizzard Reissue. Vince Coursey, a total motherright now.  effer on drums, puts it down with authority and grace in songs like “Year of the Cock,” John E. Citrone “Transmission Fluid” and “Dress Socks.”

26 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

CHRISTIAN LEE HUTSON, MATTEO QUMENTO, GARRETT ON ACOUSTIC April 18, Burro Bar PASSAFIRE, LULLWATER April 18, Freebird Live THE GOOTCH April 18, The Jacksonville Landing WHARF RATZ April 18, Mellow Mushroom St. Augustine CASKEY April 18, Brewster’s DJ KEMIT, ANCIENT CITY April 18, 1904 Music Hall ALL THINGS DONE, 3 KNIGHTS & A ROSE, ANDY JACOBS April 18, Murray Hill Theatre LESS THAN JAKE, GENERAL TSO’S FURY April 19, Jack Rabbits THE RESOLVERS, UNIVERSAL GREEN, THE MESSENGERS April 19, Underbelly MERCYGIRL, WHOSOEVER SOUTH April 19, Murray Hill Theatre GERI X, MITAR, ROBBIE FREEMAN, KELLY WHITE April 19, Burro Bar BLESSTHEFALL, SILVERSTEIN, THE AMITY AFFLICTION, SECRETS, HEARTIST April 19, Freebird Live DARIUS RUCKER, ELI YOUNG BAND, COREY SMITH April 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MEREDITH RAE, THE 77D’s, JOEY KERR April 19, Riverside Arts Market SLAID CLEAVES April 19, Mudville Music Room THE FRITZ, SQUEEDLEPUSS April 19, 1904 Music Hall NATALIE NICOLE GREEN BAND April 19, Jax Landing MISHKA, SARAH BLACKER April 20, Jack Rabbits THE MESSENGERS, DE LIONS OF JAH, LIONASAURUS April 20, Freebird Live HUEY MACK, COLLETTE CARR April 21, Jack Rabbits KUNG FU, LUCKY COSTELLO April 21, 1904 Music Hall AJ DAVILA, PLASTIC PINKS, UNITED TYLERS OF TYLER April 21, Burro Bar MILLION DOLLAR QUARTET April 22, T-U Center REHAB April 22, Jack Rabbits NEW COKE April 22, Nobby’s TODD SNIDER April 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HURT April 23, Brewster’s Megaplex STOKESWOOD, JIMKATA, NORTHE, SPORE April 23, Underbelly HUEY MACK April 24, Jack Rabbits VANCE GILBERT April 24, Mudville Music Room GRIZ, MICHAL MENERT, LATE NITE RADIO April 24, Freebird Live JANA KRAMER April 24, Mavericks at the Landing WHITE CHAPEL, CARNIFEX, WITHIN THE RUINS, CRUEL HAND April 24, Brewster’s Megaplex ROOSEVELT COLLIER’S BIRTHDAY THROWDOWN: Ivan Neville & Dumpstaphunk, Herd of Watts, Parker Urban Band April 24, Underbelly R. KELLY April 25, Veterans Memorial Arena TAKING BACK SUNDAY, TONIGHT ALIVE, SLEEPWAVE April 25, Freebird Live YANCY CLEGG, MILLTOWN, SCOTT & MICHELLE DALZIEL April 25, Jack Rabbits JACKYL, JESSE DUPREE April 25, Brewster’s KRACKA JAXX April 25, The Jacksonville Landing COON DOGGIN OUTLAWS April 25, Burro Bar MASTER RADICAL, TOMMY HARRISON BAND, JAKE CALHOUN & THE CHASERS, MINE ALL MINE April 26, Freebird Live TEXAS IN JULY, STRUCTURES, ERRA, MYKA, RELOCTE, ELITIST April 26, Atticus Bar LARRY MANGUM April 26, Mudville Music Room DICK DALE April 26, Jack Rabbits WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Avenged Sevenfold, The Cult, Motorhead, Volbeat, Chevelle, Alter Bridge, Hellyeah, Adelitas Way, Rev Theory, Butcher Babies, Memphis May Fire, Chiodos, We as Human, Monster Truck, We Came as Romans, Middle Class Rut, Devour the Day April 26, Metropolitan Park LAVILLA SCHOOL OF THE ARTS JAZZ BAND, CJ FLUHARTY, JULIE DURDEN, ERIC BOWDEN April 26, Riverside Arts Market MASSEYVIBE, MATY NOYES, DIRTY AUTOMATIC April 26, Burro Bar ANTIQUE ANIMALS April 27, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach SANTANA April 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOLE TOUR: Nate Holley, John Earle, Charlie Walker, Odd Rodd, Rachael Warfield, Matt Still April 27, Freebird Live WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE: Korn, Rob Zombie, Five Finger Death Punch, Staind, Seether, Theory of a Deadman, Black Label Society, Black Stone Cherry, Trivium, Motionless in White, Skindred, The Pretty Reckless, Lacuna Coil, Fozzy, Kyng, Nothing More, Twelve Foot Ninja April 27, Metropolitan Park BECCA STEVENS BAND April 27, Underbelly UNDER THE STREETLAMP, GENTLEMAN’S RULE April 27, The Florida Theatre EASY STAR ALL-STARS, CAS HALEY, BIG HOPE April 28, Freebird Live CHUCK RAGAN & THE CAMARADARIE, JONNY TWO BAGS, BEAU CRUM April 28, Jack Rabbits ROB THOMAS April 29, The Florida Theatre POWERMAN 5000 April 29, Brewster’s Megaplex M. WARD April 30, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AER April 30, Jack Rabbits SUWANNEE RIVER JAM: Brantley Gilbert, Montgomery Gentry, The Mavericks, Chris Cagle, Justin Moore, The Charlie Daniels Band, Colt Ford, The Lacs, JJ Lawhorn April 30-May 3, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park JOHN LEGEND April 30, The Florida Theatre AA DUO April 30, The Jacksonville Landing LARRY MANGUM, JIM CARRICK, CHARLEY SIMMONS May 1, Mudville Music Room

BEAR HANDS May 1, Jack Rabbits VEGABONDS May 1, Freebird Live ONWARD, ETC. May 1, Underbelly SAVING ABEL, LIKE A STORM May 1, Brewster’s Megaplex THE MOVEMENT, THE HIP ABDUCTION May 2, Freebird Live MODERN MEASURE, SIR CHARLES May 2, 1904 Music Hall GAMBLE ROGERS FEST: Rev. Peyton’s Big Damm Band, The Duhks, Pierce Pettis, Gatorbone, Flagship Romance, WillowWacks, Michael Jordan, Cracker the Box, Colton McKenna, Jig to a Milestone May 2-4, St. Augustine DA GUITAR STUDENT RECITAL May 3, Mudville Music Room TREES SETTING FIRES, NOCTURNAL STATE OF MIND May 3, Jack Rabbits BRIT FLOYD May 4, The Florida Theatre AMY GRANT May 4, T-U Center’s Jacoby Symphony Hall THE REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMM BAND May 4, Jack Rabbits ADRENALINE MOB May 4, Brewster’s Megaplex EARL SWEATSHIRT May 5, Freebird Live WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY, ALISON KRAUSS, UNION STATION, JERRY DOUGLAS May 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHARLES BRADLEY & HIS EXTRAORDINAIRES May 6, Freebird Live JOHN WESLEY (Porcupine Tree) May 7, Jack Rabbits TURKUAZ May 7, Underbelly KATCHAFIRE, MAOLI May 7, Freebird Live LYME IN THE SOUTH MUSIC FEST: Pat DiNizio (The Smithereens), Alisa Turner, Gregg Kirk (Zen Engines) May 7, River City Brewing Company COMBICHRIST May 8, Brewster’s Megaplex THE HEAD AND THE HEART, LOST IN THE TREES May 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE MAIN SQUEEZE May 8, 1904 Music Hall PROPAGANDA May 9, Murray Hill Theatre THE FAINT May 9, Freebird Live THE FAB FOUR May 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BLITZEN TRAPPER May 9, Jack Rabbits I SEE STARS, LIKE MOTHS TO FLAMES, GHOST TOWN, RAZIHEL, MISS FORTUNE May 9, Brewster’s Megaplex PURPLE HATTER’S BALL: Beats Antique, Emancipator Ensemble, The New Mastersounds, The Heavy Pets, The Nth Power, DubConscious, Space Capone, Rising Appalachia, Greenhouse Lounge May 9-11, Suwannee Music Park BEGGAR’S RIDE, MARK MANDEVILLE, RAIANNE RICHARDS May 10, Mudville Music Room MARION CRANE, BLEEDING IN STEREO, GHOSTWITCH May 10, Jack Rabbits LETLIVE., ARCHITECTS, GLASS CLOUD, I THE MIGHTY May 10, Brewster’s Megaplex SMELLS LIKE GRUNGE (Nirvana Cover Band) May 10, Burro Bar MIKE PINTO, B-SIDE PLAYERS, OJO DE BUEY May 11, Freebird Live SHAI HULUD May 11, Atticus Bar HOLY WAVE May 12, Nobby’s FALSETTA, DEAR ABBEY May 12, Jack Rabbits THE AQUABATS!, KOO KOO KANGAROO May 13, Freebird Live CONOR OBERST, DAWES May 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YOU KNEW ME WHEN May 13, Underbelly ODESZA, KODAK TO GRAPH, LEGINGE May 14, The Original Café Eleven CHER, CYNDI LAUPER May 14, Veterans Memorial Arena MIKE SHACKELFORD May 14, Mudville Music Room WOODY PINES May 15, Underbelly GLADYS KNIGHT May 16, T-U Center TEGAN & SARA, LUCIOUS, THE COURTNEYS May 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CRAFT BEER FEST: Something Distant, More May 16, Veterans Memorial Arena THE GIPSY KINGS May 16, The Florida Theatre THE WINERY DOGS, BILLY SHEEHAN, MIKE PORTNOY, RICHIE KOTZEN May 16, Freebird Live SCREAM OUT LOUD, THE OFFER May 17, Murray Hill Theatre CHRIS BOTTI May 17, The Florida Theatre SUPERSUCKERS May 18, Jack Rabbits THE 1975 May 19, Freebird Live JACK JOHNSON, ALO May 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DALE CRICER, DELL SUGGS, BOB PATTERSON May 21, Mudville Music Room STAGES & STEREOS, DARLING PARADE, THE ORPHAN THE POET May 21, Jack Rabbits ANTIQUE ANIMALS May 22, Mellow Mushroom Jax Beach CRANFORD HOLLOW May 22, Jack Rabbits STYX, FOREIGNER, DON FELDER May 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Fusebox Funk, Herd of Watts, Groove Coalition, Heavy Pets, Big Something, Squeedlepuss, Wobbly Toms, Guy & the Yehudas, Goliath Flores, The Dog Apollo, Rickolus, Civil Brute, Jeremiah Johnson, Arvid Smith, Albert Ayler Commemoration May 23, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Moon Hooch, SPORE, Lumagrove, Dewars, Four Families, Canary in the Coalmine, The Frontier Needs Heroes, Snake Blood Remedy, Cougar Barrel, The Weighted Hands, Christina Wagner, The Sh-Booms, Mama Blue, Skeleton Bros., Goliath Flores May 24, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum

A&E // MUSIC JAZZ FEST AFTER DARK: Tambor, Naughty Professor, Noisebender & Joe Yorio, JacksonVegas, Parker Urban Band, Project Improv, Willie Evans Jr., Paten Locke, Patrick Evan, Co-Alition, Universal Green, Whole Wheat Bread, All Night Wolves, Taylor Roberts May 25, Underbelly, 1904 Music Hall, Burro Bar, Dive Bar, The Volstead, Karpeles Manuscript Museum OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW May 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre LUCINDA WILLIAMS May 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall UH HUH HER May 26, Jack Rabbits STEEZ CLICK, NATHAN RYAN, PHAT J, JJ DAMON, POTENT DA ROCKSTAR, PINKYKILLA, THROWDOWN KID May 28, Brewster’s Pit LADIES WITH LYRICS: Julie Durden, Rebecca Zapen, Brenda David May 30, Mudville Music Room TRAVELIN’ LIGHT, DEE ABOOD May 31, Mudville Music Room CHICAGO May 31, Metropolitan Park U2 BY UV May 31, Freebird Live SWITCHFOOT, THOUSAND FOOT KRUTCH May 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AMERICAN AQUARIUM, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND June 2, Jack Rabbits WEEZER June 6, St. Augustine Amphitheatre DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, WATER LIARS June 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GRIM ZIPPER TOUR: Scum, Dmize, Statik of Rx June 6, Brewster’s Megaplex APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION (Guns N’ Roses tribute band), RED & WHITE CRUE (MÜtley Crße tribute band), Poison’d June 6, Freebird Live SONGWRITER’S CIRCLE ANNIVESARY: Larry Mangum, Mike Shackelford, Jamie DeFrates June 7, Mudville Music Room BOSTON June 7, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CHRISTOPHER CROSS June 7, Metropolitan Park P.S. CANCER SUCKS BENEFIT: Parkridge, Rosedale, Winter Wave, Attis on the Pine June 7, Jack Rabbits G-MAYN-FROST, ASKMEIFICARE, XXII, LEGIT, INFAMOUS June 10, Freebird Live ACOUSTIC ALCHEMY June 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall FLORIDA COUNTRY SUPERFEST: Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, Eric Church, Miranda Lambert, Florida Georgia Line, Little Big Town, Big & Rich, Easton Corbin, Colt Ford, Joe Nichols June 14-15, EverBank Field AMB, PRAY, RAZORZ EDGE June 14, Brewster’s Roc Bar SHAUN PEACE BAND June 14, Jack Rabbits ROD MacDONALD June 14, Mudville Music Room

Mon & Tues: Wed:

Thurs: Fri:

COUNTING CROWS, TOAD THE WET SPROCKET June 14, St. Augustine Amphitheatre THE ROUGH & TUMBLE June 17, Burro Bar GYPSY STAR, REBECCA ZAPEN June 19, Mudville Music Room GOO GOO DOLLS, DAUGHTRY, PLAIN WHITE T’S June 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ANDY KING’S SUMMER SOLSTICE SOIREE June 21, Mudville Music Room CRANFORD HOLLOW June 25, Jack Rabbits SUMMER HORNS: Dave Koz, Mindi Abair, Gerald Albright, Richard Elliot June 26, The Florida Theatre JIM CARRICK, MAJA GIATANA June 26, Mudville Music Room REBELUTION, IRATION, THE GREEN, STICK FIGURE, DJ MACKLE June 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOSOS June 28, Jack Rabbits LEGIT, G MAYN FROST, ASKMEIFICARE, ALCATRAZ, PINKYKILLA, SYLENT VYLENTZ July 12, Freebird Live DAVE MATTHEWS BAND July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena RAY LAMONTAGNE, JENNY LEWIS, THE BELLE BRIGADE July 15, The Florida Theatre JEREMY MESSERSMITH July 18, Jack Rabbits CULTURAL PROFETICA June 25, Freebird Live EMMYLOU HARRIS July 26, T-U Center FALL OUT BOY, NEW POLITICS July 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre GAVIN DEGRAW, MATT NATHANSON July 31, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ELLIS PAUL, DONNY BRAZILE Aug. 8, Original CafÊ Eleven ULTIMATE ELVIS BASH Aug. 9, The Florida Theatre PANIC! AT THE DISCO, WALK THE MOON, YOUNGBLOOD HAWKE Aug. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre CONNECTION FESTIVAL: Kermit Ruffins & the BBQ Swingers, Less Than Jake, Surfer Blood, Whole Wheat Bread, Treme Brass Band, Orquestra el Macabeo, La Quilombera, This Frontier Needs Heroes, Jackie Stranger, Weekend Atlas, Northe, Ego Killer, Jah Elect & the I Quality Band, Universal Green, Orange Air, Alexis Rhode, Ryvls, Professor Kilmure, Ruffians, The Gootch, AskMeIfICare, Dirty Automatic, Woven In, Garrett on Acoustic, Tom Bennett Band, Mondo Mike & the Po Boys, Artilect, Oscar Mike, Kana Kiehm, Parker Urban Band, Knock for Six, Never Ending Struggle Sept. 12-14, Downtown Jacksonville 1964: THE TRIBUTE Sept. 13, The Florida Theatre MOTLEY CRUE, ALICE COOPER Oct. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena


DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing every Fri. & Sat. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Working Class Stiff 9:30 p.m. every Tue. PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 Schnockered 9:30 p.m. on April 13. Buck Smith every Tue. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 DJ Roc every Wed. Honey Badgers every Sat.


BREWSTER’S MEGAPLEX, 845 University Blvd. N., 223-9850 Framing Hanley, Avenue of the Giants, Dear Abbey, Surviving September, Knock for Six, Ursa Minor on April 11. Ape Triple X, Seseley Monat on April 12 MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.


CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith every Tue. DJ Free every Fri. DJ SuZi-Rok every Mon. MOJO NO. 4, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670 Toots Lorraine & the Traffic 10 p.m. on April 18


(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) 200 FIRST STREET, Courtyard, Neptune Beach, 249-2922 River City Bluez Band on April 11. Just Jazz on April 12 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Sing Song Selsuin 6:30 p.m. on April 13. Irish music every Sun. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Dirty Gringos 10 p.m. on April 11 & 12. Red Beard & Stinky E at 10 p.m. every Thur. Darren Corlew every Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Wes Cobb every Thur. Charlie Walker Mon. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Generator, Dear Abbey, In Whispers, Way Back Whensday, Appalachian Death Trap on April 11. Dopapod, Greenhouse Lounge on April 12. Local Natives, Moses Sumney on April 17. Passafire, Lullwater, Gravy on April 18 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Kevin Ski on April 11. Caleb Joye on April 12

Karaoke Jam Nite / Open Mic Heavy Hitters Club Host Band Synrgy Featuring Rocco Marshall, Derek Hess, Clinton Carver, Rick “Hurricane� Johnson and other special guests. That means you. 8:30 pm Karaoke Home of the Most Talented Wait Staff Show begins 9pm till close




SUNDAY Rough Mix Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD#FBDIr

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 27

A&E // MUSIC LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024 Open mic every Wed. Matt Still every Thur. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Live music at 10 p.m. on April 11 & 12. Be Easy every Mon. Split Tone every Thur. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Wheel House on April 9. Lumagrove on April 10. Wes Cobb on April 11. Doug MacRae Bluegrass Trio on April 12 MEZZA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Mike Shackelford every Thur. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Tinsley Ellis 10 p.m. on April 18 NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 King Edie & Pili Pili on April 10. Honey Badgers on April 13. Live music every Wed.-Sun. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 The Crazy Daysies on April 11. Backtracks 51 on April 17 PIER CANTINA, 412 N. First St., 246-6454 Ryan Campbell & Charlie Walker every Fri. Split Tone every Sun. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Neil Dixon on April 9. Rough Mix on April 10 & 13. Lyons 9 p.m. on April 11 & 12 SHIM SHAM ROOM, 333 First St. N., Ste. 150, 372-0781 The Snacks Blues Band 8 p.m. April 15 SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., Neptune Beach, 246-0881 Billy Bowers at 2 p.m. on April 12 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Ralph E. on April 10. Amy Vickery on April 12


1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. This Frontier Needs Heroes on April 9. BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 677-2977 Kitty Pryde, A Call for Kylie on April 9. Milo, Connor Hickey, On Guard April 10. Northe, Darkhorse Saloon, Winter Wave, Fjord Explorer, Chiefora on April 11. White Fang, Denney & The Jets, The Mold on April 12. Bass Line Bums, Status Faux on April 15. Purple on April 16 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 Ruffians on April 12. DJ NickFresh 9 p.m. every Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Braxton Adamson 5 p.m., live music 8:30 p.m. on April 11 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 One Spark Main Music Stage live music (lineup subject to change): Arvid Smith, Joseph Catolano, Jacob Creel, Fish Camp Krawl, Jesse Montoya, B.A.S.H., Mondo Mike

& the Po Boys, Mama Blue, The Dog Apollo, Bread & Circus, Dalton Stanley, Master Radical, Brittany Lawrence, Sidereal, Cougar Barrel, Oscar Mike, Civil Brute, Grandpa's Cough Medicine, Ruffians, Ryvals, Meredith Rae Woodard, The Bright Side, Beau Knott & the Burners, Stephen Carey, Savannah Leigh Bassett, Jordan Poole, Jenni Reid, Flagship Romance, The Black Cat Bones, Herd of Watts, April 9-13 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Blackjack Billy 6 p.m. on April 10. Joe Buck, Big Tasty Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 353-6067 Universal Green, Tomboi on April 12. The Valley Roots on April 14


MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Live music Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 One Nite Stand 9:30 p.m. on April 11. Love Monkey 9:30 p.m. on April 12. Open mic 9 p.m. every Thur. Deck music 5 p.m. Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. Sun. DJ BG every Mon.


CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Ivey West Band on April 9. Rosco Caine on April 11 & 12 SALSA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 13500 Beach Blvd., 992-8402 Live guitar music 6-9 p.m. every Tue. & Sat.


HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine, 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff 9 p.m. every Fri. MONKEY’S UNCLE, 10503 San Jose Blvd., 260-1349 Live music on April 10


THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Chilly Rhino on April 11. Live music every Thur.-Sat.


ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 820 A1A N., 834-2492 Matt

Collins on April 11. Paxton Stark on April 12 PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Lance Neely on April 9. Mark O’Quinn on April 11. Jimmy Parrish & the Waves on April 13 TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 The Quimby Duo on April 9. Gary Starling Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. on April 10. Paxton & Mike on April 11. Charlie Walker on April 12. Deron Baker on April 16


KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor 8:30 p.m. every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Propaganda, Kidd Swift on April 9. Drew Palmer, Tambor on April 11. Poetry & Motion on April 12 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Askmeificare on April 10. Tambor on April 11. Miss Massive Snowfl ake on April 17 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Cathedral Arts Project, Sam Pacetti, Four Families, Scott Jones Dancers starting 10:30 a.m. on April 12 TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Chelle Wilson on April 11


ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Ricardo on April 9. Lonesome Bert on April 11. Go Get Gone on April 12. Smokin’ Joe open mic on April 15 CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 The Hillbenders, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine on April 13 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Mix on April 11. The 418 Band on April 12. Vinny Jacobs 2-5 p.m. on April 13 HARRY’S SEAFOOD, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. on April 9 KINGFISH GRILL, 252 Yacht Club Dr., 824-2111 Doug MacRae on April 10. Brady Reich on April 11. Michael Garrett on April 12. Mario Peral on April 13 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040 Paper City Hustlers at 9 p.m. on April 11 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19-1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Back From the Brink 9 p.m. on April 11. 2/3rds Band on April 12. Colton McKenna on April 13. Live music every Fri.-Sun. SANGRIA’S, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Mitch Kuhman 8:30 p.m. on April 17 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Those Guys on April 11 & 12. Matanzas Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth Sat.


BLACKFINN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music 5 p.m. every Wed., 9 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 DJ Sinatra on April 10. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.


JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Authority Zero, Donald Spence, Status Faux on April 9. Strung Like a Horse on April 10. Bryce Alastair Band, Juke, Dalton Stanley on April 11. Ray Wylie Hubbard, The 77D’s on April 12. Moon Taxi, Chris Woods on April 13. Sons of Fathers on April 15. The Decoration on April 16. Boggsie Brigade on April 17 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 David Jacobs-Strain 7:30 p.m. on April 9. After Midnight on April 12. Jon Vezner & Don Henry on April 13. Mean Mary on April 17


ISLAND GIRL, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Aaron Kyle on April 11. King Eddie & Pili Pili 9 p.m.-1 a.m. on April 12 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Didactic at 9 p.m. on April 10. Boogie Freaks 9 p.m. on April 11 & 12 WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley on April 9. Chilly Rhino on April 10. Syndicated on April 11. The Gootch on April 12 WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Brent Byrd on April 11. D-Lo Thompson on April 17 WXYZ BAR, 4812 Deer Lake Dr. W., 998-4448 The Crazy Daysies 6 p.m. on April 10


DAMES POINT MARINA, 4542 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Live music every Fri. & Sat. HWY. 17 ROADHOUSE, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Mike Miller Band 10 p.m. April 13. Live music Fri. & Sat. THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Mama Blue April 15. 

Want your band’s concert dates listed here? Email details – date, time, venue, ticket price and … uh … band name – to or The deadline is 4 p.m. Friday. 28 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014


ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected proof ©

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

OLYMPIC-LEVEL RECYCLING What happens to a school bus when we’re done with it? PROMISE OF BENEFIT



Produced by kl_ Checked by

Sales Rep _CJ

The answer is kind of amazing


The passion of the men who refurbish these t’s like discovering that your grandma has buses is palpable — and infectious. For the bus’ another life as a secret agent or something. new owner, the vehicle is like a member of his The humble yellow school bus, the kind family, and not only because it will ensure their we see rumbling through sleepy American economic survival once he puts it into service suburban streets, the kind you may once have in his little independent company: a bus that actually ridden yourself — when they’re done starts out drab and lifeless is transformed not with their relatively short service ferrying kids only in form but in spirit as well, almost as if to school, after 150,000 miles or so, they’re still it’s imbued with his hopes and dreams. There in excellent shape. So they’re sold at auction, is serious artistic and many of them end competition among up in Guatemala, where the guys who bling out they become las these vehicles, with lots camionetas, the of chrome and fancy so-called “chicken buses” in the ad hoc multicolored paint jobs public transit network. that show off racing Documentarian stripes, starbursts and Mark Kendall, making (one touch I loved) his feature film debut, birdlike sylphs. This followed one such bus bus is gonna fly! from its auction in Spotsylvania, Va., to My first instinct is to call this ultimate Guatemala. His camera is just tagging along recycling, Olympic-level recycling even, of on the journey, and he simply lets his various stuff we Americans discard long before they (human) subjects speak without interruption run out their usefulness. And it is that, yes, — the bus itself is a taciturn creature — but even that makes what happens with these offering no overt commentary on anything buses seem more like a dutiful chore than what he shows us. And still La Camonieta presents it really is. It’s really an expression of ultimate a remarkable portrait in contrasts, and joy and defiance, for while running a bus in sometimes surprising ones. Guatemala is a well-paid The guy who spends his vocation, far better than life driving back and forth toiling in agricultural fields La Camioneta: The Journey of between bus auctions in the or having to emigrate to find One American School Bus U.S. and Guatemala? (He a decent job, it’s also a deadly ***G tows his own car behind one, in which drivers who Not Rated • Screens 7:15 p.m. April 16 at Sun-Ray Cinema the newly acquired bus on fail to cooperate with the the return trip.) Turns out protection rackets of local he’s totally comfortable with organized crime outfits end the American border guards in Texas, despite up dead far too often. Putting a magnificent the reputation of that contentious crossing beast such as the one this bus becomes out on for foreigners from South of the Border; it’s the road seems like it’s only asking for trouble. once he’s in Mexico, where the authorities are And there it goes anyway.  abusive and downright dangerous, that he fears MaryAnn Johanson for his life.

Putting a magnificent beast such as this out on the road seems like it’s only asking for trouble.

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 29





like Stephen King’s novels, so I was delighted when Under the Dome was released as a TV miniseries last year. But then I was none too pleased when it became clear that the producers intended to stretch the already-too-long novel into another season and then some. In fact, they’ve said they envision a conclusion to the series at the end of five seasons, presumably hoping to emulate the success of Breaking Bad. Though Dome’s second season is scheduled to start this June, I don’t hold much hope for the goings-on at Chester’s Mill. On the other hand, I was prompted to take another look at the 1966 film cheapie that might very well have spurred King’s plot concept. Written, produced and directed by Arch Oboler, the man who started the 3D fad in 1952 with Bwana Devil, The Bubble was filmed in “Space-Vision” (basically a hyper-version of 3D that was pretty damn impressive). Unfortunately, the movie itself, despite an intriguing concept and occasional gripping moment, is fairly lame. A young couple, played by Michael Cole (the white guy in the Mod Squad) and Deborah Walley (a post-Sandra Dee Gidget), are flying somewhere or other when they and their pilot (singer/actor Johnny Desmond) are forced to land in a bad storm. They wander into in a strange town whose inhabitants walk about like automatons among artifacts that seem ripped from various locations around the world. At first, they think it’s a movie set they’ve stumbled into, only to discover they’re actually under an enormous bubble (more accurately, a dome). There’s a lot of sci-fi theorizing by our stalwart hero as to motive and perpetrator, but nothing is ever made definite except that a monstrous force occasionally plucks out one of the hapless human collection pieces. Way too long, with an initial running time of almost two hours, The Bubble was cut by 30 minutes (not yet enough for what is basically a Twilight Zone episode) and released in 1976 under the title The Fantastic Invasion of Planet Earth before making its way to DVD in 1999 under the original title (but with the shorter running time). The DVD was even in 3D (the inadequate kind, requiring red-and-blue glasses). The good news for sci-fi and 3D freaks is that The Bubble is scheduled for release in real 3D this summer, and pre-release reviews have declared the effects to be truly dazzling and demo-worthy. For viewers with more sophisticated tastes, I recommend the thought-provoking, visually dazzling 2012 German film The Wall, which takes the concept of The Bubble and Under the Dome to existential heights — and then some. The nameless protagonist (Martina Gedeck) is inexplicably imprisoned behind an enormous glass-like wall extending through the Austrian Alps. Relying almost completely on voice-over dialogue, Gedeck gives an impressive performance as a woman who’s in a unique and challenging relationship with the natural world and her place in it. Abstract and elliptical, The Wall plays like Robinson Crusoe meets Kafka. Without any answers or explanations, the movie nonetheless absorbs us in the heroine’s quest for meaning and purpose. Call it what you will — a dome, a bubble, a wall — the concept obviously remains an intriguing one for moviemakers of all sorts. 

Pat McLeod

30 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

**** ***@ **@@ *@@@


OTHER FILMS CHAMPIONS CHEERLEADING Cheerleaders showcase their abilities during this competition, screened 7:30 p.m. April 10 at Jacksonville theaters AMC Regency Square, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., Regal Avenues, 9525 Philips Hwy., and AMC Orange Park, 1910 Wells Rd.; SUN-RAY CINEMA The Raid 2 starts April 11 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema. com. Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me, a profile and performance doc, continues. Nymphomaniac Vol. I continues; Vol. 2 starts April 18. TV series Cosmos screens at 10 p.m. every Mon.; check with the theater for day/date updates. GREEN SERIES FILMS Fernandina Little Theatre and U.S. Green Building Council, North Florida Chapter present the documentary Tapped, which looks at the business of bottled water, 7:30 p.m. April 15, and Gasland Part II, an in-depth examination of fracking, on April 22, at the theater, 1014 Beech St., Fernandina Beach, $6 each film, proceeds benefit the Building Council, 277-2202, LATITUDE 30 MOVIES RoboCop and Frozen are currently screening at Latitude 30’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Highway, Southside, 365-5555, WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME IMAX THEATER Island of Lemurs: Madagascar 3D, We the People, Jerusalem 3D, Great White Shark 3D, Tornado Alley 3D and To the Arctic 3D are screened at World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine,

NOW SHOWING 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE *G@@ Rated R Superbitch naval officer Artemisia (Eva Green) is smarter, more competent and more ambitious than the men she commands. Director Noam Murro’s action/Greek mythology flick costars Sullivan Stapleton, Lena Headey, Hans Matheson. BAD WORDS **G@ Rated R Jason Bateman plays Guy Trilby, a mean-spirited, grade-A prick. The eighth-grade dropout with a photographic memory exploits a loophole in the Golden Quill Spelling Bee’s annual competition rules and gets on stage with an assortment of very smart children. Competing in the national championship, he runs afoul of administrator Dr. Bernice Deagan (Allison Janney), and director Dr. Bowman (Philip Baker Hall). Why is he doing this? Journalist Jenny Widgeon (Kathryn Hahn) hopes to find out. The only thing in the shmuck’s way is doe-eyed Chaitanya Chopra (Rohan Chand), a precocious 10-year-old Indian-American lad Guy takes out on the town. BREATHE IN Rated R The romantic drama, or dramatic romance (dramrom? romdram?), is about a foreign exchange student (Felicity Jones) who shakes up a little New England town. Costars Guy Pearce, Mackenzie Davis and Amy Ryan. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER ***G Rated PG-13 Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), aka Captain America, hasn’t had time to cope with after-effects of one-way time travel, via cryonic sleep, from the 1940s to the 2010s, but he’s starting to face his disconnect. Costars Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Colbie Smulders and Robert Redford. And Stan Lee! DIVERGENT Rated PG-13 Beatrice Prior (Shailene Woodley) is labeled a Divergent, a group of misfits considered so dangerous that their destruction is being plotted. So she hooks up with another outcast – Four (Theo James), who’s really just one person. Costars Kate Winslet, Ashley Judd and Zoë Kravitz. DRAFT DAY Rated PG-13 • Opens April 11 Here in Jacksonville, we love Draft Day – every year, there’s a chance we’ll add some awesome players to our already awesome Jaguars roster. Dream on, River City. Costars Kevin Costner, Chadwick Boseman, Jennifer Garner, Deion Sanders, Anthony Rizzo, Aaron Goldhammer and Chris Berman. FRANKIE & ALICE Rated R • Opens April 11 Halle Berry stars as a go-go dancer who suffers from multiple personalities – but really, if you’re a go-go dancer, wouldn’t you want to cultivate another personality or two? Costars Stellan Skarsgård and Phylicia Rashad. GOD’S NOT DEAD Rated PG Josh Wheaton (Shane Harper) is a college student

HANDS IN THE AIR: Air Marshal Marks (Liam Neeson) ferrets out a bad guy on a plane whose crime is excessive texting in Non-Stop. having a trouble in philosophy class. Professor Radisson (Kevin Sorbo) doesn’t believe there is a God, shaking Josh’s faith. Co-stars Dean Cain and Willie Robertson. THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL **G@ Rated R Director Wes Anderson guides a great ensemble cast in this, The Twee-est Story Ever Told, including Edward Norton, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel, Saoirse Ronan, Bill Murray, the adorable Bob Balaban, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Jason Schwartzman and Owen Wilson, through this comedy-drama about Gustave H (Ralph Fiennes), concierge of an elegant European hotel. The tale is largely told by the 1960s version of lobby boy Zero Moustafa, played by F. Murray Abraham, about his time at the hotel and the madcap and seemingly murderous adventures he and Gustave had. The younger Zero is portrayed by Tony Revolori. ISLAND OF LEMURS: MADAGASCAR Rated G Those kinda creepy, kinda cute lil guys with the goo-goo-googly eyes are highly endangered. Primatologist Dr. Patricia Wright is on a mission to keep them around. The IMAX documentary is directed by David Douglas and written by Drew Fellman, who worked on the Born to Be Wild doc, also with narration by who else but Morgan Freeman, aka God. If he can’t help these leapin’ lemurs, nobody can. JINN Rated PG-13 Automotive designer Shawn (Dominic Rains) and wife Jasmine (Serinda Swan) are doing just fine until an old family curse is the subject of a warning message he receives. The thriller co-stars Ray Park, William Atherton and Walter Phelan, who plays the Jinn, aka a genie. Except he’s not in a bottle, nobody’s rubbing anything, and Barbara Eden and Larry Hagman are nowhere to be found. LA CAMIONETA: THE JOURNEY OF ONE AMERICAN SCHOOL BUS ***G Not Rated • Screens 7:15 p.m. April 16 at Sun-Ray Cinema Reviewed in this issue. LEGEND: LION IS BACK Not Rated This Indian film, in Telugu with English subtitles, costars Nandamuri Balakrishna, Radhika Apte, Sonal Chauhan and Jagapathu Babu. THE LEGO MOVIE ***@ Rated PG Writers and directors Chris Miller and Phillip Lord’s popular, subversive animated feature about colorful toy bricks teaching life lessons costars the vocal talents of Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Will Arnett, Chris Pratt and Will Ferrell. Hey, did you know that the word Lego is like sheep or deer, in that the plural is also Lego? That’s cool. MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Rated PG We remember these guys from the Rocky and His Friends (which included Bullwinkle, who always had the wrong hat) TV cartoon series; Sherman was a human boy, adopted by a scholarly dog, Mr. Peabody. We especially miss the Wayback Machine, which we never knew was actually spelled WABAC. Huh. Costars the voices of Ty Burrell, Allison Janney and Stephen Colbert. MUPPETS MOST WANTED ***@ Rated PG The whole gang's back – Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, The Great Gonzo, Scooter, Animal, Beaker, Lew Zealand – this time touring the globe. There’s an evil Kermie look-alike involved in a jewelry heist in Europe, and Tina Fey, Ricky Gervais (you’ll never convince us he’s actually funny) and Ty Burrell (as humans here) are nefarious types … or are they? Vocal talents include Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta,

David Rudman and Matt Vogel. There’s a bunch of cameos: Sean Combs, Céline Dion, Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett, Zach Galifianakis, Josh Groban, Salma Hayek, Frank Langella, Ray Liotta, Toby Jones, James McAvoy, Saoirse Ronan, Stanley Tucci … waitasec … Josh Groban? NEED FOR SPEED **G@ Rated PG-13 Director Scott Waugh made this car-chase movie starring Aaron Paul as Tobey Marshall, a gearhead in upstate New York trying to keep his family’s body shop afloat while earning extra money in late-night street races. His need for cash to save the business leads to a tragic encounter with one-time rival-turned-pro-racer Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper); Tobey goes to jail. Costars Imogen Poots, Scott Mescudi and Dakota Johnson. NOAH Rated PG-13 Russell Crowe stars as the determined patriarch who’s acutely aware of the weather forecast – God as meteorologist has told him a great flood is coming and he’d better hightail it to the high seas with his family and a lot of animals if he wants to survive. Costars Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Nick Nolte, Ray Winstone and Emma Watson. NON-STOP Rated PG-13 Liam Neeson is an air marshal being texted by a bad guy on his transatlantic flight, threatening to kill passengers unless he gets $150 million. Costars Julianne Moore, Nate Parker and Scoot McNairy. OCULUS Rated R • Opens April 11 This horror movie, about a young woman trying to blame a murder on a supernatural being so her brother – who’s been convicted of the crime – can get out of jail, was filmed in Mobile, Ala. One scary goddamn place fersure. RIO 2 Rated G • Opens April 11 City parrots (voiced by Jesse Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway) are dropped deep in the Amazonian jungle. Will they survive? Apparently this life-or-death struggle is funny. The animated kids’ feature costars Miguel Ferrer, Andy Garcia, Jamie Foxx and Kristin Chenoweth. SABOTAGE Rated R Serious badass action movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington and Terrence Howard. DEA agents are picked off like so many ducks in a carnival shooting gallery after they piss off some nice drug lords. THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB Rated PG-13 Tyler Perry has churned out another movie-witha-moral about … duh … unmarried mothers. The ladies (Nia Long, Amy Smart, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Cocoa Brown, Zulay Henao) bond over their kids’ school problems, then become friends. Costars Ryan Eggold, Eddie Cibrian and Terry Crews. SON OF GOD **@@ Rated PG-13 Devout Christians may find it powerful, casual church-goers may find it moving but a bit heavy-handed, and nonChristians and nonbelievers will probably think it’s preachy. Mark Burnett and Roma Downey, who plays Mary, produced. Costars Sebastian Knapp, Adrian Schiller (Caiaphas), Diogo Morgado (Jesus) and Amber Rose Revah (Mary Magdalene). TIM’S VERMEER Rated PG-13 Tim Jenison is an inventor who seeks to demystify the painting practices of 17th-century Dutch Master Johannes Vermeer, whose innovative use of light and color is most notable in Girl with a Pearl Earring. Magicians Penn and Teller and droll comedian Martin Mull costar. 


DOODLE ME THIS St. Augustine artist Russell Maycumber makes small art go big on Highway Gallery


ll kids draw. I realized I didn’t want to give it up.” St. Augustine artist Russell Maycumber did more than that, turning his talent on an unusual medium — Post-it Notes. It happened when Maycumber was in college. He would constantly fidget with his hands, distracting him from his work. As a way to cope, he began drawing on the notes. “There were times I’d go through an entire stack in one class,” Maycumber remembers. The Post-it drawings did more than help him retain information; they gave him the inspiration for his future work. He went from Post-it doodling in college to constructing a single piece containing 1,500 notes that took him three years to finish. That colossal work was featured in Florida Mining Gallery, then selected for inclusion in this month’s Highway Gallery showcase — a collaboration among Harbinger, Florida Mining Gallery, Clear Channel Outdoor and Clearly Jacksonville. Nine artists are being featured on billboards throughout the city this year. But Maycumber does more than expand on his college notes. He, his wife Elizabeth and their son Russell Maycumber III contributed their art to Ransom, an exhibit that closed in December at Wayfarers Brooklyn in New York. Three hundred artists were each assigned a single word for that exhibit, and works — each containing that assigned word — were arranged to spell a true story. When Maycumber was younger, he was hesitant to show his art to anyone. By keeping it to himself, he was producing a cycle of repetitive art that lacked feedback. He eventually realized what he was doing and took his art to a larger audience. “I did it as a service to myself,” he says. Maycumber describes his first art show in 2004 at space:eight in St. Augustine as an adrenaline rush. After years of keeping his art to himself, he put it on display for everyone. “It was like the veil over the mirror was taken away,” he says. Rob DePiazza, the owner and founder of space:eight, describes Maycumber’s work as “outsider art.” It “doesn’t emulate from insanity, but rather from a keen observation of the outside world.” Maycumber collaborated with Florida Mining Gallery on a pop-up gallery for

Art Basel in Miami last year that included Bird Cage, an installation that’s his largest piece to date — 15 feet tall, 10 feet in diameter, weighing 150 pounds. Maycumber, the woodshop administrator at Flagler College, has seen his art progress in laps and bounds since that first show. “The older you get, the more you start thinking, ‘How can I make this work for other people?’ ” he says. While the scope and audience of his

work may grow, the reason behind his inspiration remains unchanged. “I use art,” he says, “to make sense of things that impress me on a subconscious level.”  Scott Kunath

HIGHWAY GALLERY Russell Maycumber’s work is displayed through April on billboards throughout Jacksonville as part of Highway Gallery’s campaign.

Russell Maycumber’s kclub, ink on Post-It Notes. (This piece is not part of the Highway Gallery series.)

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 31


THE COLOR PURPLE The play, based on Alice Walker’s novel, is staged 8 p.m. April 9-27, 1:15 p.m. Sat. and 2 p.m. Sun., at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, $38-$55, 641-1212, NICE PEOPLE DANCING Eve Wilfong lives over a country music bar; her novice nun niece visits. 8 p.m. April 10-26, 2 p.m. April 13 and 20 at ACT’s Studio 209 Theatre, 209 Cedar St., Fernandina, $10-$20, 261-6749, BOEING BOEING Douglas Anderson Main Stage Theatre stages the French farce about an architect with three fiancées – an American, a German and an Italian – 7:30 p.m. April 1012 at the school, 2445 San Diego Rd., $10-$12, 346-5620, BREAKING LEGS In Tom Dulack’s comedy, the mob and theater merge when a playwright seeks funds from a former student’s “family,”8 p.m. April 11 and 12, 3 p.m. April 13, Orange Park Community Theatre, 2900 Moody Ave., $15, 276-2599, THE LYONS Rita wants to redecorate after her husband dies; 8 p.m. April 11-26, 2 p.m. April 13 and 20, Players by the Sea, 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach, $20-23, 249-0289, SAN MARCO ART FESTIVAL The 15th annual festival is held 10 a.m.-5 p.m. April 12 and 13 at San Marco Boulevard and Hendricks Avenue. Parking available behind No. 13 Fire Station. Free admission, 304-1639, OTHER DESERT CITIES Brooke goes to Palm Springs to see her parents after six years. A once-promising novelist, she tells them her memoir’s about to be published; 8 p.m. April 18-May 11 on Limelight Theatre’s Matuza Main Stage, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $10-25, 825-1164,


DAVE COULIER Comic Coulier is on 8:04 p.m. April 10 and 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. April 11 and 12 at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., 646-4277, $6-25, JEFF DYE A Last Comic Standing finalist, Dye is on 8 p.m. April 10 and 11, 8 and 10 p.m. April 12 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $10-$18, 292-4242, PAULA POUNDSTONE Poundstone likens her comedy routine (or lack thereof) to a cocktail party; 8 p.m. April 12 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $25-$49.50, 355-2787,


ACTORS WORKSHOP Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre’s workshop, 6 p.m. April 13, Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-7177, ARTIST TALK Celeste Roberge, whose Ocean Floors exhibit is on display at Crisp-Ellert Art Museum, discusses her work at 7 p.m. April 10 at Flagler College’s Gamache-Koger Theater, Ringhaver Student Center, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, free, 826-8530, THE FOREIGNER Amelia Community Theatre auditions for male and female roles, 1 p.m. April 12 at 209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, ADULT BOOK DISCUSSION Liane Moriarty’s The Husband’s Secret is discussed 10 a.m. April 12 at Main Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722. PORTRAIT PAINTING Elbert Shubert leads a session with a live model, 10 a.m. April 12 at TAC II, 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, $5-$10, bring supplies, 355-1757, YOUTH POETRY SLAM Tonya Smart hosts open mic, music by Al Pete, 2 p.m. April 12 at Webb Wesconnett Library, 6887 103rd St., Westside. Register at 502-7444; EGYPTIAN ARTIST & ACTIVIST Mohamed Abla discusses the role of art in the Egyptian revolution 7 p.m. April 14 at Flagler College, 74 King St., St Augustine, 829-6481, POETRY SLAM The Language of Conservation invites all poets to a family-friendly slam. 6:30 p.m. April 15 at Main Library, 303 Laura St. N., Downtown, free, register at 630-4655.


GLORIOSA TRIO A pianist, violinist and cellist perform thematic programs, 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. April 11 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Riverside, 355-7584, POPS GOES VEGAS Jack Everly and Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra play Vegas hits 11 a.m. April 11, Jacoby Hall, 300 W. Water St., Downtown, $22, 633-6110, BIG BAND BASH BENEFIT DINNER DANCE The Dynamic Les DeMerle Orchestra, with vocalist Bonnie Eisele, performs to raise funds for the Amelia Island Jazz Festival scholarship program, 6:30-10 p.m. April 19 at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, 39 Beach Lagoon, $75, 261-6161,


DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts and crafts and local produce, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. April 11 and every Fri. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, food and a farmers market – performances by Cathedral Arts Project, Sam Pacetti, Four Families, Scott Jones Dancers – 10 a.m.-4 p.m. April 12 under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries open 5:30-8:30 p.m. April 12, 277-0717,


ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM & GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N., 256-7371, Senior thesis artwork includes 2-D art, sculptures, animated shorts, screenplays, film productions, through April 30. AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, Beaches,

32 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

Creatures and Cowboys features posters and lobby cards from Florida films, through April. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, Waiting for the Train: Henry Flagler & the Florida East Coast Railroad, through June 1. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM Flagler College, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530, Celeste Roberge’s exhibit, Ocean Floors, through April 19. Artist’s talk is April 10. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, One Family: Photographs by Vardi Kahana, an exhibit by the Israeli photographer detailing four generations of her family; through April 27. FSU professor William Walmsley displays works through July 8. The Human Figure: Sculptures by Enzo Torcoletti through September. A Commemoration of the Civil Rights Movement: Photography from the High Museum of Art, through Nov. 2. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, Mark Twain, original letters, writings and illustrations, through April 26. Breaking Free: Dark Energy, Dark Matter features Margaret Schnebly Hodge’s oils on canvas, through April 29. MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., 268-0784, The Maple Leaf, Civil War era artifacts and information, through December. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, Leigh Murphy’s exhibit Observing Objects, an exploration of watercolor, runs through May 11. Shaun Thurston’s Project Atrium: One Spark opens April 9. Students in the educational outreach program, Rainbow Artists: Art and Autism display work through June 1. The exhibit New York Times Magazine Photographs, curated by Kathy Ryan and Lesley Martin, opens with a reception 7 p.m. April 25 and runs through Aug. 24. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, Uncovering the Past: Archaeological Discoveries of North Florida, through August. VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., St. Augustine, 825-1000, Journey: 450 years of the African-American Experience, through July 15.


AMIRO ART & FOUND GALLERY 9C Aviles St., St. Augustine, 824-8460, Jan Tomlinson’s Mirror, Mirror, of vintage etched mirrors; through April. THE ART CENTER PREMIER GALLERY 50 N. Laura St., Downtown, 355-1757, The Woods exhibit, depicting forests and trees; through May 6. Wood – Depictions and Transformations; through May 7. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577, Works by junior and senior Flagler students, through April. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, Joan Carver, who specializes in watercolor, pastels and oils, exhibits her work in Color It Coastal which runs through May 20. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., 425-2845, Craig Drennen’s exhibit Awful & Others, featuring works based on William Shakespeare’s play Timon of Athens, is on display through May 2. FSCJ SOUTH CAMPUS ART GALLERY 11901 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-2023, Picking Cotton: A Student Response Project is a collection of works that reflect Ronald Cotton and Jennifer Thompson-Cannino’s Picking Cotton: Our Memoir of Injustice and Redemption, through April 10. GALLERY725 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 5, Atlantic Beach, 345-9320, Water. Fire. Wood features works by Tonsenia Yann, Ken Daga, Matthew Winghart, Linda Olsen and Flew, through May 17. Winghart’s exhibit Wall Candy, art celebrating humor and nostalgia. Opening reception 7 p.m. April 10; through May 3. HASKELL GALLERY & DISPLAY CASES JIA, 14201 Pecan Park Rd., Northside, 741-3546. Keith Doles’ Street Series and Street Corners, through June 29. Dorian Eng’s Chinese and Japanese art, threaded balls and thimbles, Temari and Yubinuki through July 7 in Connector Bridge Art. Marsha Glaziere’s Eclectic Coffee Spots in Puget Sound is a collection of paintings, photographs and impressions, through July 5, Concourse A & C. HIGHWAY GALLERY Nine artists – Nathaniel Artkart Price, Ken Daga, Ashley C. Waldvogel, Brianna Angelakis, Christina Foard, Linda Olsen, Sara Pedigo, Zach Fitchner and Russell Maycumber – are featured on digital billboards throughout the city through July 2014. THE LOOKING LAB 107 E. Bay St., Downtown, 917-239-3772. Art in Empty Store Fronts features multimedia video art and sculptures by Crystal Floyd and David Montgomery. LUFRANO INTERCULTURAL GALLERY University of North Florida, 1 UNF Dr., Ste. 2401, Southside, 620-2475. 2014 Art & Design Senior Exhibition is on display through May 2. PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Amelia Village Circle, Amelia Island, 432-1750, Spanish oil paintings by Dionisio Rodriquez are exhibited through April 12. SAWGRASS VILLAGE ARTS GALLERY 1520 Sawgrass Village Dr., 273-4925, David McCormick’s blackand-white photography, paintings by Randy and Debra Brienen; through April. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, The Spring Members show runs through April 27. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, Light Sensitive V, a UNF photography portfolio exhibit, through April. Face to Face by artist Tony Wood and Clean Water by landscape artist Allison Watson are part of a mural project during One Spark. 

DINING DIRECTORY To have your restaurant listed, contact your account manager or Sam Taylor, 904.260.9770 ext. 111 DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner *Bite Club certified = Hosted a free Folio Weekly Bite Club tasting. Join at BOJ = 2013 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot


29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919. F In historic downtown, the popular bistro’s Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in an upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269. F In a historic building, family-owned spot serves worldly taste fare: homemade veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-fromscratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub offers beer brewed onsite. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311. Owners Luke and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto; house specialties are chicken Ciao, homemade-style meat lasagna. $ L Fri. & Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049. In Historic District. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb served in an elegant, chic spot. $$$$ FB D Nightly DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444. F In a renovated 1887 shotgun house. Favorites: jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan, vegetarian selections. Dine inside or on the porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE, 11 S. Seventh St., 432-8394. F Creative lunch: po’boys, salads, little plates served in a historic house. Dinner: fresh local seafood, Fernandina shrimp. Reservations recommended. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, with more than 20 toppings, are served by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141. Awarded Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815. Sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes and breads. Everything’s made from scratch. $ TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132. Bite Club certified. Omni Amelia Island Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue has an innovative menu: whole fried fish and duck breast. Outdoor dining. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811. F See ICW sunsets from second-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, original broiled cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652. F BOJ. Oceanfront place serves award-winning handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd fl oor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat.


DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 19 & 20, 745-9301. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily


THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966. F BOJ winner. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare. Patio, hookah lounge. Wi-Fi, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790. F In Green Man Gourmet, this shop has wines, spices, fresh fruit ice pops and Belgian chocolates. See Ponte Vedra. $$ TO ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE, 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40, 388-4884. F Churrascaria gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sun. THE FOX RESTAURANT, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 4530 St. Johns Ave., 388-8828. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 3611 St. Johns

Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 Pinegrove Ave., 389-8655. F BOJ winner. For 40+ years serving hearty fare: Cuban sandwiches, burgers, subs, wraps, homemade chicken salad, in a family spot. Onsite butcher shop cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., Ortega, 387-1000. F Down-home cooking from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.


AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA, Ste. 3, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000. F Family-owned-andoperated Italian pizzeria serves calzones, strombolis, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs, desserts. Delivery. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S RESTAURANT, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777. F Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 8206 Philips Hwy., Baymeadows Junction, 732-9433. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily PIZZA PALACE RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 527-8649. F Relaxed, family-owned place serves homestyle cuisine. Local faves include spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, ravioli, lasagna, parmigiana. Outside dining; HD TVs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 8133 Point Meadows Dr., 519-0509. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676. Chefs combine Asian methodology with European template t o create dishes like tandoori lamb chops and rosemary tikka. Vegetarian items are cooked separately in vegetable oil. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.


(Locations are Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002. F BOJ winner. Celebrating more than 20 years, Al’s is a repeat Best Pizza winner in the annual BOJ readers’ poll. New York-style and gourmet pizzas. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily BREEZY COFFEE SHOP CAFE, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211. F Casual, family-owned shop serves fresh-baked goods, espressos, locally roasted coffees, vegan and gluten-free options. Sandwiches, local beer. $ BW K TO B R L Daily BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients, beautifully presented. $$ FB TO L D Daily CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000. F Familyowned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made in-house. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CRUISERS GRILL, 319 23rd Ave. S., 270-0356. F BOJ winner. Locally owned and operated for 15+ years, this casual place serves half-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, award-winning cheddar fries and sangria. $ BW K L D Daily ENGINE 15 BREWING CO., 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337. F  BOJ winner. Gastropub fare: soups, flatbreads, sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Craft beers and brew groups. $ FB K L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. F Fusion of Latin American and Southwestern-influenced fare: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. Outdoor seating. $ FB L D Daily LANDSHARK CAFE, 1728 Third St. N., 246-6024. F Locally owned & operated. Fresh, off-the-boat local seafood, fish tacos, houseground burgers, wings, handcut fries, tater tots; daily specials. $$ FB K L D Daily; R Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 N. Third St., 247-9620. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-2922. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. Hoagies, salads, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 beers on tap. Nonstop happy hour. $ BW K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 249-5573. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat.

Blane Dickerson and Chef Carey Todd, of David’s Restaurant & Lounge in Fernandina Beach, present pan-seared Chilean sea bass, served with truffle mash and grilled asparagus, and topped wit h lemon crème. Photo: Dennis Ho MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. F BOJ winner. Funky Southern blues kitchen. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-2599. F BOJ winner. David and Matthew Medure fl ippin’ burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, familiar fare, moderate prices. Dine inside or outside. $$ BW L D Daily POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7637. F American gastropub named for the poet. 50+ beers, gourmet burgers, handcut fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & SEAFOOD GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Beaches Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877. F For 30 years, popular seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE & OYSTER BAR, 218 First St., Beaches Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 246-0881. Beachcasual atmosphere. Customer faves: fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, homemade ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000. F BOJ winner. Full-service bar (with more than 20 beers on tap), TV screens covering entire walls and cheerleader s serving the food. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily


AMERICAN GRILL, Jacksonville Landing, 353-7522. Fullservice restaurant serves traditional fare: pot pies, steaks, burgers, pizza, pot roast, vegetarian dishes. $$ BW L D Daily BENNY’S STEAK & SEAFOOD, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 175, 301-1014. This steak-and-seafood house serves Continental cuisine with such signature dishes as the Filet Christian. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ NOLA at MOCAJax, 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911. F Shrimp & grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. $$ FB L Mon.-Fri.; D Thur. & ArtWalk CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 36+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $$ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, Jax Landing, 354-7747. F Chicago-style deep-dish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from Chicago’s Comastro family. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Eats at moderate prices – most less than $10. Chef-inspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Fri. & Sat. CINCO DE MAYO, Jax Landing, 329-2892. Authentic yet mild dishes: fajitas, tacos, burritos, enchiladas. Dine indoo rs or outside. $$ FB L D Daily FIONN MacCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547. BOJ winner. This pub offers casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily HOOTERS, Jax Landing, Ste. 103, 356-5400. The chain, popular for its waitresses, features wings, steamed shrimp, oysters, burgers, seafood, sandwiches. $$ FB TO L D Daily KOJA SUSHI, Ste. 222, Jax Landing, 350-9911. F BOJ winner. Owners John and Tony, in the sushi game for 10+ years, offer sushi, sashimi, and Japanese, Asian, Korean cuisine. Hard-to-find items like baby octopus salad, too. Dine inside or out. $$ FB L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly VILLAGE BREAD CAFE, Ste. 175, Jax Landing, 683-7244. Locally owned; bagels, omelets, sandwiches on homestyle bread, salads, pizzas, pastries. $ TO B L Mon.-Sat. VITO’S ITALIAN CAFE, Jax Landing, Ste. 174, 355-3002. Traditional Italian and Mediterranean menu: pasta, steak and

seafood entrées. Desserts, including tiramisu and cannoli, are homemade. Daily happy hour. $ FB L D Daily ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283. American favorites and Mediterranean fare in a casual atmosphere; panini, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB L Mon.-Fri


GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. See Riverside. $ BW TO Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100, 215-2223. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 1605 C.R. 220, 278-9421. F 50+ premium domestic, imported beers on tap. Starters, burgers, sandwiches, entrées, made to order with fresh ingredients. Lots of TVs for watching sports. $$ FB K L D Daily WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198. F Real fish camp serves gator tail, freshwater river catfish, daily specials, traditional meals, on Swimming Pen Creek. Outdoor Tiki bar. Come by boat, motorcycle or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.Sun.; D Nightly


4 BONES BARBECUE, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 20, 419-9855. Classic Southern barbecue: Pulled pork, brisket, chicken, turkey, ribs, chorizo served market-style by the pound. Mac ’n’ cheese, baked beans, cole slaw, green beans. Specialty sandwiches, banana pudding. $ K TO L D Tue.-Sat. AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily THE TENT HOOKAH LOUNGE, 12041 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4, 551-2962. Authentic fare, hookahs and flavored tobacco, specials and live belly dancing and fl oor seating, in keeping with that authenticity thing. Open late. $ BW L D Daily TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999. F Locally-owned-and-operated grill serves hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps in a clean, sporty atmosphere. Daily drink specials, HD TVs, pool tables, darts, trivia. Late-night menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly


DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, St. Johns, 825-4540. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily TAPS BAR & GRILL, 2220 C.R. 210 W., Ste. 314, St. Johns, 819-1554. F See Fleming Island. $$ FB K L D Daily


AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F From the dolmades (stuffed grape leaves) to the baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Athens has all the favorites. G reek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 1, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 33


ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected proof ©

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655




Produced by _KL Checked by

Sales Rep _CJ

ZONE DIET Healthful lunches abound at this casual Southside eatery — if you can find it


© 2014


would never, ever have driven by Health Zone but for the heads-up from a few friends. First, there’s the poor signage and kinda-sorta misleading name: Is it a fitness center? A supplement shop? And then there’s the fact that it’s tucked away off Bowden Road and I-95 near Mr. Taco. Nonetheless, Health Zone proved a pleasant find. I decided to check out the lunch menu. (Breakfast is served 6:30 to 10:30 a.m.; lunch until 2 p.m., Monday through Friday). As I walked in, I noticed a long line-up of freshly blended juices (12 oz.) and smoothies (16 and 32 oz.), all concocted with fresh fruit and juice — no pre-made mixes in sight. I tried the St. Augustine smoothie ($5.59) — spinach, kale, banana, mango and orange juice — and the Really Green ($5.59) juice. With its glowing green hue, the Really Green certainly lives up to its name, and with an über-healthy blend of cucumber, celery, kale, parsley, lemon and apple, each sip felt refreshing. Thumbs up. Woman cannot live on green juice alone, so I next ordered a Zone Bowl ($5.99, with a $1 upcharge to add protein), which piqued my interest. Start with a starch like brown rice, jasmine rice or quinoa, and then pick a legume — black beans, black-eyed peas or pinto beans. 2014 Then choose from a slew of fresh vegetables and a list of both carnivore- and veganfriendly proteins (grilled chicken breast, roast pork, roast beef, tofu, tempeh and seitan). My Asian tempeh Zone Bowl, with quinoa, black beans, sautéed spinach, colorful carrots and zucchini, and a housemade chimichurri sauce, was easily enough for two meals. Also filling was the cleverly named H.A.M. ($7.99) — ham, apple slices and melted Monterey jack cheese with spicy mustard. Not in the mood for a sandwich? Health Zone also has salads, soups, hot dogs and an extensive dessert list. If you’re feeling adventurous, go for grilled beets ($1.99) or kale slaw ($1.99) as your side. The beets were especially juicy and delicious. If you’re looking for a healthful, affordable lunch, put Health Zone on your got-to-do list. And bring along your gluten-free and vegan friends, too.  Caron Streibich

34 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

Photos: Caron Streibich

HEALTH ZONE 6426 Bowden Rd., Ste. 206, San Souci/Southside, 527-1078,



NAME: George Tracy


RESTAURANT: Candlelight South Restaurant, 1 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine BIRTHPLACE: Hartsdale, N.Y.

MOXIE KITCHEN + COCKTAILS, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744. Chef Tom Gray’s new place features innovative contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers, salads, sides and desserts – using locally sourced ingredients when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly MSHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ BW L D Daily OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730. BOJ winner. Comfortable, chic place has tapas and small plates of Spanish and Italian flavors: ceviche fresco, pappardelle bolognese. 240-bottle wine list, 75 by the glass, craft spirits. Outdoor dining; bocce court. $$ FB R, Sun.; D Nightly


FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than mine): Candlelight Inn, Scarsdale, N.Y. FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: Most anything on a grill FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: The secret stuff in our hot sauce IDEAL MEAL: Hot-sauce wings, crinkle-cut freedom fries WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Rocky Mountain oysters INSIDER’S SECRET: Be open when you say you’re open.


CELEBRITY SIGHTING: All our diners are celebrities. CULINARY TREAT: Banana cream pie HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040. F American-style steakhouse features Angus steaks, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU JAPANESE RESTAURANT, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903. The new place has a wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ FB TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F Tamales, fajitas and pork tacos are customer favorites. Some locations offer a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773. F This casual, family-friendly eatery serves pizzas, sandwiches, grill specials, burgers and pasta dishes. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily RENNA’S PIZZA, 11111 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 292-2300. F Casual New York-style pizzeria. Calzones, antipasto, parmigiana, homemade breads. $$ BW K TO L D Daily


ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959. Southernstyle dining. Specialties: New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. KRISTIN’S ON THE RIVER, 2511 Blanding Blvd., 389-9455. This newly re-opened spot serves seafood and American favorites. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F See Mandarin. $$ FB TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789. F All over the area, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611. F Wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 35+ years. Pool tables, dartboards, foosball, TVs. 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily


AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790. Hand-crafted in the onsite factory, with premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts and spices. Cookies and popsicles. Claude’s will ship your order. $$ TO LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797. Chef David Medure creates with a wide range of global flavors. The lounge offers small plates, creative drinks and entertainment, including happy hour twice daily. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.


AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793. BOJ winner. Orsay’s sister restaurant serves New American favorites with a Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Awesome rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1-2, 855-1181. F BOJ winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to roasting coffee. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 234-8843, cornertaco. Made-from-scratch “semi-swanky street food” – tacos, nachos and salads, plus gluten-free and vegetarian options, in a bricks-and-mortar building. $ BW L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 5972 San Juan Ave., Westside,

693-9258. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474. F BOJ winner. Juice bar has cer tified organic fruit, vegetables. Artisanal cheese, 300+ craft/import beer, organic wines, produce, meats, wraps, raw, vegan. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS, 1001 Park St., 508-0342. The new spot is based on Asian street vendors. A collection of hawker recipes is served under one roof. $ BW TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., Westside, 446-9500. 8102 Blanding Blvd., Westside, 779-1933. F See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600. F BOJ winner. See San Marco. $$ R B L Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ winner. See Amelia Island. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434. F Southwestern dishes like fresh fish tacos and chicken enchiladas are popular. Happy hour runs Mon.-Sat. in the upstairs lounge, and all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300. F Traditional Irish fare like shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese and, of course, fish-n-chips. Outdoor patio dining is available. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition Ale Works), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily


AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ FB K TO L D Daily AVILES RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277. F Hilton Bayfront Hotel. Progressive Europeanflavored menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, deluxe breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. Free valet. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CANDLELIGHT SOUTH, 1 Anastasia Blvd., 819-0588. F Brand-new on the island, the casual restaurant originally in Scarsdale, N.Y., offers fish tacos, sandwiches, wings, desserts and sangria. Daily specials. $ BW K TO L D Daily CARMELO’S MARKETPLACE & PIZZERIA, 146 King St., 494-6658. F New York-style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh sub rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor seating, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATES, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. Inside The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, a coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 4010 U.S. 1 S., 547-2669. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655. Updated Southern fare: fresh, local ingredients from area farms. Vegetarian, gluten-free options. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., Anastasia Island, 824-8244. F A mainstay for a quarter-century, Gypsy’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish is Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765. F New Orleans-style. Cajun, Creole, Southern flavors with a modern twist: fresh seafood, steaks, pork, jambalaya, shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 155 Hampton Point Dr., 230-7879. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K TO L D Daily MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818. F BOJ winner. Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ unique sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, H awaiian-style poke tuna salad. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. The newish fusion restaurant specializes in healthful American fare with a Latin flair. $$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

CRUISERS GRILL, 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1, 737-2874. BOJ winner. See Beaches. $ BW K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688. F New upscale sushi spot serves fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ winner. See Beaches. $$ FB K TO B L D Daily


BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190. F Pad Thai, curries, sushi, served in a relaxing environment. Dine indoors or on the patio. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. THE GROTTO WINE & TAPAS BAR, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Varied tapas menu of artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschettas, homestyle cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1631 Hendricks Ave., 399-1768. F See Mandarin. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922. Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, European-style atmosphere. Artfully presented cuisine, small plates, extensive martini/ wine lists. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, homemade soups. $$ B R L Daily PIZZA PALACE 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815. F See Baymeadows. $$ BW TO L D Daily


360° GRILLE, LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555. F Seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Dine inside, on patio. $$ FB TO L D Daily ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212. Longest-running dinner theater features Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s menus coordinated with stage productions. Reservations suggested. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd., 619-8186. F See Beaches. $ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ winner. See Northside. $ FB K TO L D Daily THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. In Watami. All-you can-eat sushi, choice of two items from teppanyaki grill. $ FB K L D Daily. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F See Orange Park. BOJ winner. $ K TO B L D Daily MANGIA! ITALIAN BISTRO & BAR, 3210 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 551-3061. F Chef/owner Tonino DiBella offers fine dining – fresh seafood, veal, steaks, New York-style pizza, desserts. Happy hour Mon.-Sat. Patio. $$$ FB K TO L D Mon.-Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955. F See Beaches. Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. $ BW K TO L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Pkwy. N., 997-1999. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts award-winning freshly brewed ales and lagers. Inside, outdoors. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Court, 854-0426. F Bite Club certified. BOJ winner. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929. F Apps and bar food: German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips, fl atbreads. Craft drafts from Germany, California, Florida (Bold City brews), Ireland, Belgium. $$ BW L D Daily


DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Ste. 101, 619-9828. F BOJ winner. NASCAR-themed spot has 365 kinds of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily HOLA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1001 N. Main, 356-3100. F Fresh Mexican fare: fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour daily; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. See Orange Park. $ K TO B L D Daily SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, twist of Mediterranean and French at Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, New York strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. Rainforest Lounge. $$$ FB K B L D Daily. 

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 35


FERTILE CHAOS, SNOWBALLS IN HELL, TWO-FINGER TYPING ARIES (March 21-April 19): Freedom is the most important kind of joy to seek now. It’s also the most important subject to study and think about, and the most important skill to hone. Make sure freedom flows through your brain, wells up in your heart and spirals through your loins. Write synonyms for “freedom” on your arm with a felt-tip pen: liberation, emancipation, independence, leeway, spaciousness, carte blanche, self-determination, dispensation. One more tip: Connect with people who love and cultivate the same type of freedom you do. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s Love Your Messes Week! In accordance with astrological omens, you’re authorized to love the hell out of your life’s messes from small, awkward knots of confusion to big, beautiful heaps of fertile chaos. It’s not time to feel embarrassed, apologize, shy away or ignore them. On the contrary, you should explore, celebrate and even take advantage of them. Whatever else they are, your messes are untapped sources of energy. Learn to love them for the mysterious lessons they teach. Love them for the courage and willpower they compel you to summon. Love them for the novelty they bring and the interesting stories they add to your legend. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “A snowball’s chance in hell” is an American idiom that’s like saying “It probably won’t happen.” After all, a snowball would instantly melt if exposed to scorching underworld fires. But what if there’s an exception to this? Let’s check another American idiom: “When hell freezes over.” It’s another way to say “It probably won’t happen.” Truth is, now and then a cold front does indeed sweep through the infernal region, icing its flames. When that happens, a snowball’s prospects of surviving there improve dramatically. That’s exactly what I predict happens for you next week. CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 2007, J.K. Rowling finished writing the seventh volume of her seven Harry Potter books, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It sold 11 million copies its first day out. Rowling had written the final chapter of this last book way back in 1990, when she first conceived the story she spent the next 17 years writing. She knew the end right from the beginning. There’s a similar theme unfolding in the weeks ahead. As you plot a project you’ll develop for a long time, you envision what it will be when it’s done. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): When you see your shadow, it’s usually right beside you, on the ground or floor, a fuzzy black shape that follows closely. Today I saw my shadow waving back at me from afar. I was atop a hill, and the sun’s rays created a dusky version of me in the meadow down below. This is a useful metaphor for an opportunity. In the next few days, you’ll be able to view your personality’s shadowy, undeveloped parts as if from a distance. You’ll have more objectivity, thus greater compassion. You can get a calm, clear sense of how they might be mucking with your happiness and how to transform them. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “You cannot use butterfly language to communicate with caterpillars,” said psychologist and psychedelic hallucinogen pioneer Timothy Leary. That’s good advice to keep in mind in the near future. You may want to find a way to carry on constructive dialogs with those who have a hard time understanding you. It’s not that they’re stupid or resistant to your charms. Problem is, they haven’t experienced some of the critical transformations you have. They can’t be expected to 36 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

converse in your butterfly language. Are you willing and able to speak caterpillar? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Thinking of linking your fortunes to a new ally? Or deepening your collaboration with a familiar ally? Fantasized about bonding intensely with a source able to give more of what you want and bring out more of the best in you? These prospects are worth contemplating, but let your connection ripen a bit more before finalizing the shift. Not saying there’s a potential problem; you just need further exploration and information before you make the smartest move possible. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The secondlargest planet of Saturn has been in the sign of Scorpio since October 2012; it’ll be there through 2014, making another visit June-September 2015. Some astrologers see Saturn as the planet of limitation, struggle and difficulty, but I think that even though Saturn may push you to be extra tough and work super-hard, it also inspires you to cut away extraneous desires and home in on your deepest purpose. It motivates to build strong structures, to free you to express yourself with maximum efficiency and grace. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In college, I took an intermediate painting class. Our first assignment was to imitate an old master. I chose Flemish painter Pieter Breugel the Elder (1525-’69). I worked on reproducing his painting The Fight Between Carnival and Lent. It was tedious and liberating. I invoked Breugel’s spirit and prayed for his guidance. I sank my psyche deeply into his. By the end of the four-week process, I’d learned a lot about painting. Given current astrological omens, try something similar. Pick someone who excels at a state of being you’d like to master, and copy that for a while. Have fun with it. Play! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn author J.R.R. Tolkien spent 14 years working on The Lord of the Rings. He never learned the 10-finger typing method, relied solely on his two index fingers to produce more than 1,200 pages. Guess his impediment didn’t affect the quality of his work, but it made it harder and took a lot more time. Is there a fixable limitation on your ability to achieve your dream? Is there some handicap you could, with effort, overcome? If so, now’s a great time to begin. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “The truth’s superb surprise,” wrote poet Emily Dickinson, may be “too bright for our infirm delight.” Sometimes we’ve got to be careful about articulating what’s really going on. “The truth must dazzle gradually,” she wrote. If it hits us too fast and hard, it may be difficult to digest. So did Emily suggest we should lie and deceive? No. “Tell all the truth,” she declared, “but tell it slant.” This is terrific advice for the days ahead. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Here’s my report on your progress. You’re not struggling to embody a delusional state of perfection as it’s imagined by others. Rather, you’re becoming an evermore soulful version of your idiosyncratic self, evolving slowly but surely. You aren’t dazedly trudging a narrow track laid down by thousands of sheep. Instead, you’re lively and creative as you bushwhack a path through the wilderness. To celebrate this ongoing success, get a new power object symbolizing your inventive devotion.  Rob Brezsny

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Forgot to pick up Folio Weekly last week? No worries! PUBLIX SMILE & WAVE BLONDE BEAUTY Atlantic & Hodges Publix. You: Pretty blonde, blue eyes, pretty smile, blue workout clothes. Me: 6 feet tall, blue eyes, blue shirt. Eyes met on opposite lines. Almost sprained my neck. You smiled, waved driving out. Should have run after you. Both seasoned. Don’t get many chances for connection, desire I felt. Take a chance. When: April 3. Where: Publix Atlantic/Hodges. #1347-0409 ATLANTIC BLVD. CHOPPER HOTTIE W/ VA TAGS You: Harley jacket ... offer Chopper heading westbound with your buddy. Blowing me kisses. Me: Pink hair and tattoos, in a gray Chevy Cobalt. Come see me at Regis salon in the Town Center so that I can catch some of those kisses. When: April 3. Where: Atlantic Boulevard. #1346-0409 DONOVAN’S IRISH PUB You: Alone at bar, wearing ball cap, having dinner, talked football with others. Me: Blonde, pink shirt across bar with friend. We made eye contact; I felt attraction across the room. I wish I’d gotten your name; didn’t want to be rude to my friend. Asked bartender if you were a regular; sadly, didn’t know. Hope you see this. When: March 30. Where: Donovan’s Irish Pub. #1345-0409 POOL BOY & FORMER POOL GIRL We were parked next to each other. You weren’t satisfied with the car wash. I borrowed your vacuum. Loved your tattoo. I should have ... Haven’t/can’t stop thinking about you. When: Sunday, March 23. Where: CarBux San Jose. #1344-0402 BEAUTIFUL ASIAN AT PAPA JOHN’S ARGYLE You: Asian and beautiful, drives late model Hyundai. We made eye contact briefly. I feel like a fool for not asking for your number. Describe me and let’s start the revolution. When: March 19. Where: Papa John’s. #1343-0326 BURGER SLINGIN’ BEAUTY You: Breathtaking brunette behind the counter, providing magical burgers to all lucky enough to be in your presence. Me: Tall, dark-haired gentleman who catches you gazing intimately into my eyes every Tuesday. OK, yes, it’s mutual. So what do you say we skip the small talk and make this thing official? When: March 18. Where: MShack Atlantic Beach. #1342-0326 CONVERSATION SURPRISE You: Attractive SWF, 5’2”-4”, 130, nonsmoker, athletic, late 50s-early-60s. Afternoon conversation, coffee, you nearly choked when I asked if you’d be interested in “friends with benefits LTR.” Gave your cell number; can’t fi nd. Me: SWM, 5’8”, 185, nonsmoker, excellent health, early 70s, recently retired successful executive, homeowner. When: Jan. 15. Where: Starbucks. #1341-0312 SWEATY CYCLIST SEEKS SEXY SITTER You: Beautiful, Middle-Eastern-looking au pair, pumping gas at Gate; two kids. Me: Fit, ginger, sun-glistened cyclist. Our eyes locked, my heart pulled a wheelie. My Schwinn couldn’t keep up with your Audi. Drop kids; then see what my cyclist pants can barely contain. When: March 1. Where: Gate Gas Station. #1340-0312 BATHROOMS & SOUP? Me: Short, red-headed woman, black uniform. You: Gorgeous blue eyes, grey shirt, almostshaved blond hair. First, you asked where the bathroom was; I clumsily answered. Then, we saw each other in the check-out lane. You and my mom talked about soup myths. I’d really like to get to know you. :) When: March 2. Where: Barnes & Noble, San Jose Blvd. #1339-0305

MOST BEAUTIFUL NURSE You: Most caring nurse I’ve ever seen. Short, brown-haired Latin goddess with glasses and always smiling. V., you are so good with the children you take care of. Would love to take you out some time. When: Feb. 7. Where: Wolfson ICU. #1338-0305 I SWEAR I’M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! That’s the only line I could think of at the time to talk to you. We chatted and joked for a few, then I got dragged off by my friends and lost you. Me: Red hair, black mini, knee-high boots. You: Short brown hair, looking dapper. See you there again? When: Feb. 14. Where: Eclipse. #1337-0226 ASKED TO READ MY MIND For two years, I’ve thought about you every day and dreamed about you every night! You: Curious & Disturbed. Me: Glasses. When: Every day. Where: The neighborhood. #1336-0226 POWERHOUSE HOTTIE I remember how rough your hand felt on mine as we reached for the same 15-pound dumbbell. I recommended lifting gloves to help keep your hands soft. You liked my Magnum PI-style moustache. You said you may try to grow one. Let’s get together and watch “Silence of the Lambs.” When: Feb. 2. Where: Powerhouse Gym. #1335-0212

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YOU’VE GOT MAIL We were both at the library to check our emails. You must be “without home” like me. Your blonde unkempt hair was appealing. You caught my good eye when you walked in. I’d love to have a cup of recycled coffee with you some day. I’m available 24/7. When: Feb. 3. Where: Public Library. #1334-0212 SHARK TEETH & T&A You: At the end of the bar with your braid just lying on your chest. I bought you and your friends a shot but I really just wanted to buy you one. Round two? When: Feb. 5. Where: Flying Iguana. #1333-0212 FROZEN FOODS HOTTIE You: Green pants, white shirt, brown boots, beautiful black hair. Me: Tall, slim, blue shirt, curly Afro. I see you in the frozen foods section on your lunch hour sometimes. You look like you just know how to own life. Teach me how? When: Jan. 22. Where: Winn-Dixie, Edgewood & Commonwealth. #1332-0212 BEAUTIFUL LADY IN BROWN HAT ISU at Bonefi sh Grill having drinks with a girlfriend and we made eye-to-eye contact numerous times. You wore a large rimmed brown hat and a long plaid skirt. I had on a gold shirt with a green vest. Would love to have dinner together at Bonefi sh. Hope to hear from you. When: Jan. 28. Where: Bonefish Grill. #1331-0205 NEED A BRUSH Saw you at Bento. You were confidently comfortable in your underarmor and ruffled hair. You paid for my shrimp tempura. Meet me under the two paintings Feb. 14 at 11 p.m. When: Feb. 1. Where: Bento. #1330-0205 WE LOCKED EYES You parked grey pickup by Walgreen’s. Walked by, looked; locked eyes. I drove metallic SUV. We spoke, flirted, smiled. You left, I went behind Walgreens. You still there; locked eyes again. Still looking, you left. Horns honked. Me: Black female. You: White male. Let’s see where it goes. When: 3 p.m. Dec. 22. Where: Walgreen’s, Normandy. #1329-0129

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ADVENTURE LANDING BASKETBALL DAD You: Handsome dad of teen shooting hoops near the snack area. Me: Mom of birthday boy. Lots of eye contact. Hoping for more! When: Jan. 17. Where: Adventure Landing/Blanding Blvd. #1328-0129

APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 37



FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by



Dine In 1 5 9 12 19 20 21 22 23 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 34 38 39 40 41 47 51 52 53 55 56 59 61 62 63 67 68 69 70 80 81 82 83 85 86

ACROSS Optimistic Ole Miss foe Young Pip, for one Brandenburg’s capital Word with head or heart Prefer addition Kimono tie Sudden increase Bob Hope’s favorite golf memory? Strikes down Exposing Vital vessel Always, in odes Pigeon sound Tattoo need Slow to do anything Position that allows more car space? Take-a-number place Barrel of laughs With 70 Down, an excessive amount Worrying about one’s election chances? Dissipated, as a drug’s effect Horse color Jukebox activator More miffed Milan’s Teatro ___ Scala One way to pay A wife of Esau Kilmer of moviedom Story involving Paris Noted 4 p.m. events? Name that’s Hebrew for “lion” Play part or play parts Link letters? Elizabeth’s plaint after always losing to her royal sister? Some slippers Thole insert Major river of Spain Like Steve Jobs’s father Made no mistakes on Hue and cry





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105 106 109 110 111 113 115 118 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 24 25 5


Highly rated “Orinoco Flow” singer Cold dessert Words from a dog food commercial? Mess up iPad downloads Cuba-to-Miami swimmer Q: “So, what do you think of words like ‘peachy’ and ‘swell’?” A. “___” Paris suburb Eastern principle Constant critic Thus far Bugged Fill to the brim Japanese protein source Bananas? Went head-to-head against Shell-game need Blacken Storybook heavy Rock-boring tools Famous rescue vessel “___ that again?” “Say ___” DOWN Figure in many jokes Cruise setting 2 Down “cruiser” He’s a legend among climbers Dhaka language Director Lee Early animator Winsor A flying start? Conversation, some say Monastery offices Inits. for a handyman Blender option Proprietor Kitchen shortening? ___ the pants off of Harry Potter nemesis Malfoy Luminous Elementary particle Coastal feature Eye, in odes 6




62 64 65 66 70 71 72











51 57














62 66



77 83





90 95


100 101 102









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98 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 112 114 116 117 118 119


38 42




95 96

“Tin” body part ___ l’oeil 62 Across setting D.C. grp. General direction German article Florida nine More, in Monterrey Bahamas airport code Charon and others Mr. Fix-it, e.g. Countless centuries Certain sib On ___ (continually winning) Pearl harborers Words with rest or reckoning Syn.’s opp. Like krypton Low point Tequila source Capra’s Mr. Volga tributary Washington neighbor Like overcooked steak Burning Quite a lot Carve in stone Ship’s front Sightseeing aid According to Student transcript fig. Furry foot

Solution to New Words I’d Like to See




57 58 60

73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 84 86 87 89 92 94

EPA ___ HWY MPG Brass component Montenegro neighbor Rocky hill Kiefer’s dad Mother of Perseus ___ Lanka “I ___ tell” Every partner Farm omnivore Part of a Latin trio “The pat with a hat that sits flat ___” (old slogan on individual butter portions) Hesitant words Melange Dessert after jambalaya Passing thing Richard Burton served in it: abbr. Forest males Olympian queen Anne who starred in the 1998 remake of “Psycho” Mosaic technique Ventilate “___ Mater” (hymn) Loads from lodes See 40 Across Sailing term Changed, as district lines




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38 | | APRIL 9-15, 2014

The Formula One circuit is generally thought to attract fans as a showcase of motorcar technology and racing skill, but organizers of the Australian Grand Prix (the first of the 19 races on the annual circuit) threatened a lawsuit in March against Formula One management because the races should also be showcases of noise. Formula One has softened cars’ power this year to make breakthrough achievements in fuel efficiency, but that also tamped down Formula One’s “trademark ear-shattering roar,” according to a Business Insider report. Fans are less likely to buy tickets, organizers fear, if they lose the deafening, 100-decibel vroom that is a “visceral element of the fan experience.”


Amelia Boomker, 36, of Bolingbrook, Ill., celebrated her acceptance into the Guinness Book of World Records in March, recognized for donating more than 127 gallons of her own breast milk to critically needy babies in the Midwest. The donations came on top of supplying breast milk for her own four sons, three born during the 2008-’13 period in which she pumped her excess for the Indiana Mothers’ Milk Bank.


James Chatten, 46, pleaded guilty in January to several Commandment violations stemming from a July incident at Christian Horizons church in Peterborough, Ont. Chatten brought a prostitute into the church for sex after hours, and stole money from a church drawer to pay her, then lied to cops about being forced to raid the drawer.


John Bidmead, 65, was convicted in November at Britain’s Exeter Crown Court of possession of child pornography images totaling, according to police count, 600,000 files — a low number; detectives said they got tired of counting. They figured the final number was easily more than a million. The prosecutor called it “certainly the largest find in this part of the world.”


Jason Bourcier, 33, reached a deal with the Virginia Department of Transportation in November to eventually pay down the $200,000 in highway tolls he’d ignored for more than three years. He told a judge that, originally, a friend had told him that traveling the Dulles Toll Road to Washington, D.C., was free if the toll collectors had gone home for the evening (not true). Bourcier told the judge he’s now working as a “financial consultant” — surely after rehabilitating his attention to detail.


In some cultures, and now in Florida, apparently, the act of urination carries no special modesty protection. A judge ruled in March that video of Justin Bieber expelling for a urine test after his January drag-racing arrest in Miami Beach was a “public record” and had to be released to the press under Florida law. A perhaps overly generous black box was edited into the video to make it somewhat less explicit. In the video, only one officer is present, observing, based on protocol that respects the suspect’s “privacy” — though the Florida judge, in essence, invited the whole world to watch the lad pee. The video quickly hit the Internet.


Kentucky state Rep. Leslie Combs, unloading her .380 semi-automatic handgun in her Capitol office in Frankfort in January, accidentally fired a shot into her furniture. Said Combs, “I’m a gun owner. It happens.” In fact, she praised herself for being “particularly careful” to point the gun away from people while “unloading” it.


In March, an unnamed man was rescued by bystanders who heard screaming from a mazelike storm drain, which runs 12 feet below the street in Lawton, Okla. He’d accidentally dropped a $20 bill through a grate and climbed in after it, wandering underground for two days searching for a way out. He never found the lost Jackson.


In January, Lakemaid Brewery in Stevens Point, Wis., admitted it’s been testing drone technology, with an eye to eventually deliver beer to isolated ice fishermen on Lake Waconia, Minn. The brewery reportedly learned a sixbladed drone would be needed to carry a 12pack for up to a half-mile. The Federal Aviation Administration bans commercial drones, but may be reconsidering, though not just yet, as it quickly ordered Lakemaid to cease the flights.


As Microsoft founder and world-class philanthropist Bill Gates prepared for a speech in Vancouver, British Columbia, in March, a circumcision dissident prepared to protest. The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has invested more than $160 million on circumcision programs in developing countries based on overwhelming medical evidence (“as clear as you really can get in medical research,” said a University of British Columbia professor) that the procedure makes transmission of HIV much more difficult. Dedicated, intense-pleasureseeking men (in this case, the Canadian Foreskin Awareness Project) insist the surgical snipping, especially of babies, denies males the benefit of heightened penile sensitivity.


Richard Wright of Canada’s Prince Edward Island was busy in March handing out $50 and $100 bills to strangers during a visit to Halifax, Nova Scotia, urging the recipients to “thank God” for the gift and pass it along to others if they couldn’t use it themselves. Wright’s spree soon ended as Mounted Police detained him for a “wellness check,” which led to his transfer to a mental-health facility. Wright’s daughter Chelsea told reporters her dad worked hard for his money, had no mental-health issues and simply wanted to help folks; a friend described him as a “generous individual wrapped up in the acts of kindness.” However, at press time, Wright was still hospitalized.


The Phoenix suburb of Maryvale was “overrun,” according to February reports, with several “packs” of up to 15 Chihuahuas each, roaming neighborhoods, frightening schoolchildren. Coincidentally, two months earlier, in Hobart, Australia, the local Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals announced it was overwhelmed by massive recent donations of Chihuahuas, most from one couple. Said a spokesman, “We were up to our knees in little Chihuahuas.”


In March, England’s Manchester Evening News reported local police handled 19 “clown-related” crimes in the area in 2013, ranging from a clown in the town of Bury peering in the windows of at least two homes, to a boy’s report in Rochdale that a clown holding balloons tried to grab him on the street. The secretary of Clowns International lamented the “stupid people” who damage the reputation of the clowning “profession.”  Chuck Shepherd


INSULT TO INJURY On trying to commute by bike in Jacksonville


could have gotten off my bicycle and walked it across the intersection. I could have been wearing a helmet. I could have been wearing white. If I hadn’t been so lazy, I would not have gotten lost, which added hours to my trip, which meant traveling in the dark at rush hour. I could have done many things to avoid being hit by that car. The trip to my destination stination had gone as well as my trip home had gone poorly. The night before, I did what I usually sually do when covering unfamiliar territory riding iding my ancient Peugeot touring bike. I went to o Google Maps, typed in my destination and hit it the bicycle icon. This revealed the best route, te, which incorporates bike lanes wherever possible. Having bike lanes available on a trip is better than not, but not by much. That white line painted down the road d is really just a theory. People often park in the he lane, drive in it and cross it with alarming regularity. Worse, novice riders think they’re ey’re safe in this lane and drop their ir defenses. This is a mistake. The thing you understand very quickly kly when you’re commuting on a bicycle is that car drivers either er do not see you or, worse yet, they do and consider you just another vehicle competing for space and nd position. This competitive mindset iss scary for a cyclist who, unlike a driver, iss not encased in metal and surrounded by airbags. s. However, I do usee bike lanes whenever possible because the alternative is worse. Some roads are very narrow, and trying to share them with cars, ars, especially pickup trucks, is asking for it. t. Sometimes I take the advice shouted from passing cars to “get off ff the road.” This means traveling on a sidewalk lk — but, unfortunately, sidewalks were not engineered ngineered for bicycles, especially touring bikes. en-uneven kes. Th Thee oft often-uneven pavement is hell on moving parts. Worst of all, not all sidewalks end in ramps, and jumping curbs on a bike engineered eered to cover distance is not an option. What I find most effective is using a combination of sidewalks walks and roadways. I glance over my shoulder der and try to gauge how far I can get before ore the traffic will catch me and then I dart back ack on the sidewalk and coast until there’s another ther break in traffic. Sometimes along the way, you can cut through neighborhoods. This is the easiest, least stressful way to ride. This is only an option if you’re traveling through neighborhoods that were built before the 1980s, when city planners, in their infinite wisdom, abandoned the grid system and replaced it with only one access point in and out of the neighborhood. This is fine if you’re driving, but if you’re walking or on a bike, it’s quite impractical. On the Westside, it’s rarely a problem. On the day of the accident, I cut through Brentwood without incident on my way to Myrtle Avenue, which the Google route said to take all the way to Beaver Street. I made a decision that could have cost me my life: I

deviated from my planned route because I didn’t feel like going back over the thigh-killing Beaver Street viaduct incline. I took off down King Street and began to look for a major intersection where I could turn left. I didn’t know that I’d go seven miles before finally finding such an opportunity. By now, the sun was setting and I was now going in the wrong direction entirely. By the

time I got to Edgewood Avenue, it was pitch black. It was there I realized I still had to go over a railroad viaduct, and this one was a lot less friendly than the one I’d wanted to avoid. I walked my bike up the east side until the sidewalk ended, but the path was literally blocked by construction. I had no choice but to try to cross four lanes of rush-hour traffic. There was no break, so I decided to cross the northbound lane first and then the southbound. When I got to the median, which is raised concrete no more than 18 inches wide, I couldn’t tell if there was even a sidewalk on the southbound side, so I was forced to

take the harrowing walk down the hill on that narrow sliver of concrete, with traffic whooshing by in both directions at 50 miles an hour. When I neared the bottom, I saw a break in traffic, so I mounted my bike and began sailing down the incline. I got back on the sidewalk and, not wanting to lose momentum, I made sure I was OK to go throu through the intersection at Old Kings and Edgewood Edgewood. That’s where it happen happened. A small, black, four-door car turned left and across my path. I want to believe she didn’t have her signal on — I would’ve noticed that, I tell myself — but the truth is, I don’t know for sure. What I do know is the driver did not see me. m It’s true what people ssay about things crisis. Maybe a second slowing down during a cr elapsed from the time I saw s the car start to turn till when it hit m me, but I still had enough time to pull pu the bike hard to the right in an attempt to avoid it. I repeated in my mind, over and over, like a mantra or prayer, “I’m make it. I‘m gonna make gonna mak time the car hit me, I’d it.” By the tim almost cleared its path. What struck passenger side mirror, me was the passen hitting me right square squa in the ass — of my saddlebag, sending me, it, the contents cont through the air. and my bike tumbling thr Strangely, before I hit the ground, I knew I was Somewhere in mid-flight, going to be all right. Som inventory. I remember my mind took a quick inv thinking, No broken bones, bone no torn ligaments. The driver pulled over and ran to my aid. “Oh, my God,” she gushed gushed, “are you all right?” nodded. “I think so.” I looked at her and nod picked up my bike and She helped me up. I pic walked woozily to the side of the road, where her; she was young and I sat down. I looked at her turned to how dumb pretty, and my thoughts tu on the ground in a I must look to her sitting o seized by vanity in that heap. Strange that I was se moment. I am 50 and bald on top, but lots of hair have my hat on, it gives on the sides, so when I hav the illusion I have a full head he of hair. Where was my hat?? I wondered. I looked look around and saw it Looking up, I asked if in the middle of the road. L she could get it for me — sshe did — and I felt a back on. little better after I put it ba all right?” she “Are you sure you’re al asked again. “I think so,” I repeated. “It’s a miracle,” she added. I agreed. I asked her if she thought we should call the police and fill out an accident report. A worried look came over her face. I looked at my bike, which appeared still usable. I asked her to help me up and managed to get the chain back on the sprocket. Why call the cops? I thought. Wasn’t I lucky to be in one piece? I bid her well and walked my bike down Edgewood before I finally felt good enough to get back on and ride. A mile or two from my house, a young man leaned out the window of a passing car and shouted an obscenity. Everything’s back to normal.  Eric M. Mongar Sr.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily refl ect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. APRIL 9-15, 2014 | | 39

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