2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
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THIS WEEK //3.14.18-3.20.18 // VOL. 30 ISSUE 50 COVER STORY
Recognizing the year’s worst in GOVERNMENT TRANSPARENCY story by the ELECTRONIC FRONTIER FOUNDATION
FEATURED ARTICLES FEATURED
BEATING THE ODDS, AGAIN  BY CLAIRE GOFORTH Local family fights to SAVE THEIR SON
BY A.G. GANCARSKI Jacksonville needs to look at EQUALITY under law
THE CLEVEREST MAN IN ENGLAND
BY MADELEINE PECK WAGNER JASON WOODS is Thomas Cromwell
COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR OUR PICKS MAIL/B&B FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS AAND NOTES E PLURIBUS JAX MUSIC
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FROM F ROM THE THE E EDITOR DITOR
BEATING THE ODDS, AGAIN Local family FIGHTS TO SAVE their son JHAYSONN PATHAK IS IN THE FIGHT OF HIS LIFE. He’s been here before. Six years ago, an aggressive form of Hodgkin’s Lymphoma nearly killed him—and would have, but for his refusal to give up, his family’s devotion, and help from then-state Senator John Thrasher, the media and Mayo Clinic. Together, they triumphed against cancer—and the Medicaid bureaucracy—to save his life. Today, Jhaysonn is cancer-free. In a twist of fate, now the cure is killing him. If he doesn’t get treatment—and soon—it will be too late. In 2008, Jhaysonn was a typical college grad struggling to pay student loans and find his place in the world. The double-major Stetson University alum (music technology and classic guitar performance) did a turn studying Chinese medicine, and worked at a sushi restaurant in Deland, where he was happy but broke, before finding his dream job teaching English to children in South Korea. “Always dreamed of backpacking across Europe, going on train rides … I wanted to do worldwide organic farming,” he says. At first, his parents were less-than-thrilled to learn that their youngest son was moving a world away. That quickly changed when they saw how happy he was there. Six months later, in March 2009, Jhaysonn was headed home to Jacksonville with, as he says, Hodgkin’s Lymphoma as his carry-on. Ahead of him lay years of treatment, including more than 150 bags of chemo, radiation, the works. Eventually, with nothing more to offer, doctors told Jhaysonn to get his affairs in order and seek palliative care, that there was nothing more to do. Some people would’ve given up. But the Pathaks aren’t some people. They found a targeted chemotherapy at Mayo Clinic that had a chance of beating the cancer back long enough for the stem cells his brother donated to create an immune system for Jhaysonn, then fought tooth and nail and enlisted a coalition to get Medicaid to approve it. Miracle of miracles, it worked. But the cells that helped save Jhaysonn’s life have turned on him, causing graft versus host disease (GvH), attacking his lungs and giving him bronchiolitis obliterans (BOS). With less than 20 percent of lung function remaining, Jhaysonn, who turns 33 on March 15, is in end stage lung disease. Simple activities exhaust him. His immune system is so compromised that the germs on a crowded elevator, or airport, or department store are life threatening. When he is not in the hospital or the doctor, he is at home, focused on getting better.
DIMINISHED LUNG CAPACITY CAUSES CO2 TO BUILD up, which, coupled with the ravages of GvH and years of strong medicines, cause periodic fogginess that makes Jhaysonn pause in the middle of a sentence, or struggle to find a word. But the words flow easily from behind the oxygen mask he wears 24/7 when he talks about South Korea, the doctors who have gone above and beyond for him, the band he was in at Douglas Anderson, Saws, which was inspired by Tool. When he mentions corresponding with Trent Reznor (yes, the Trent Reznor), his eyes light up behind the glasses he wears because the GvH has turned his tear ducts into scar tissue. <He would email me,” he says, incredulous. Though disease has taken much from Jhaysonn, it has not taken his spirit, nor his humor, nor his faith. He jokes that if his blood were found at a crime scene, because of the transplant, authorities would arrest his brother, chuckles at how messed up it is that even emergency room doctors know who he is. He says that faith keeps him going and believes that God isn’t done with him yet. He’s not done with life, either. Last year, Jhaysonn asked doctors to try mesenchymal stem cell (MSC) regenerative therapy. On their GoFundMe page for medical costs, Jhaysonn explains that these cells “play a part in building the human body.” He’s received one vial so far—the only one Mayo had left from a trial last year—and it helped his lungs and GvH a little, but he needs many rounds of treatment. There are clinics that offer it, but, as is often the case, it isn’t covered by insurance. So the Pathaks are raising money, giving everything they have to save their youngest and leaving the rest to God. “I’m on a tightrope. I gotta get these stem cells in me to stay on that tightrope,” Jhaysonn says. Jhaysonn’s story underscores the madness of the American healthcare system that lets people die when there is a cure. But in the midst of the paperwork, the parade of doctors, nurses, emergency room visits, bills, pills, hopes borne and hopes dashed, is a man with much life left in him yet. When a reporter asks what he would do if tomorrow he wakes up healthy, he smiles. “Go for a run on the beach.”
Claire Goforth firstname.lastname@example.org @clairenjax
_____________________________________ Learn more about Jhaysonn Pathak and donate to his treatment at gofundme.com/helpjhaysonn-stay-alive.
MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5
SALTY (BUT NOT LIKE THAT) SALT LIFE FEST
We know that life at the beach isn’t always a beach (hey, they’ve got lots of scheming politicians there, too), this festival, with its peace, love and sand vibes doesn’t undermine our fantasy. Featuring Ellameno Beat, The Corbitt Brothers, Treehouse!, Simplified, Of Good Nature and Kung Fu, it’s certain to be an easy, breezy day, and the perfect place to dodge Leprechaun “kisses”! Noon-10 p.m. March 17, at SeaWalk Pavilion, First Street North, Jax Beach, free, $20 VIP, saltlifefest.com.
OUR PICKS SAT
REASONS TO LEAVE THE HOUSE THIS WEEK
NOW HEAR THIS FOUR CHANNELS Artist Olivia Block’s exhibition, Four Channels, is a sound installation using recorded material from NEFla oyster reefs and marshes.
Block is interested in acoustic ecology, so she presents recorded footage, raw materials, data and photographs in a way that she hopes will bring “science education to the public.” The installation displays though April 4 at Crisp-Ellert Art Museum, St. Augustine, flagler.edu/crispellert. WED
GET LUCKY! ST. PATRICK’S DAY FESTIVAL Go for the tasty food, stay for the fastest Guinness Pint competition! The
incomparable hospitality of Barley Republic Public House and Folio Weekly for the seventh annual fest includes live music by The Wobbly Toms, Flatfoot 56, Hoist the Colors, 6’10, Mike Sullivan and Jacksonville Pipes & Drums perform. Clearly it’s the work of healing badger god Moritasgus, and who are you (silly human) to argue with a god? Starts 11 a.m.; goes until the wee hours, March 17 & 18 at Barley Republic Public House, St. Augustine, 547-2023, $5 entry, $45 VIP, barleyrepublic.com.
Anna Kingsley (née Anta Majigeen Njaay of Senegal) was brought here as an enslaved 13-year-old girl, and ended her life as a wealthy plantation owner. Writer Jennifer Chase’s musical play, the story of Kingsley’s life, is staged 8 p.m. March 15 & 16 and 11 a.m. March 15 at FSCJ Kent Campus, Riverside, $25 adult, $10 child, fscjartistseries.org.
for the sheer joy of it. We’re not suggesting the iconic SoCal punk/surf band is a bunch of tubby tabbies, but we are saying that they, too, wreck shit up, musically speaking, at least. They perform with Atom Age 7 p.m. March 17 at Kona Skate Park, 8739 Kona Ave., Arlington, $15-$35, konaskatepark.com.
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illustration by Kathleen King
GET EXPOSED AGENT ORANGE We once had a cat we called Agent Orange. He was fat, sassy and liked to f*ck shit up
MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7
THE MAIL THE DEVIL’S ASSET AUCTION
RE.: “The Great JEA Heist,” by Claire Goforth, March 7 TALK IS MOVING RAPIDLY TO CONVERT THE JEA publicly owned monopoly to a private-investorowned monopoly. We all know what monopolies do. Just check out the horrible abuses by the investorowned utility monopoly, The Pacific Gas and Electric Company (PG&E), in the San Francisco Bay Area. They raise rates whenever they want with new rates rubberstamped by the “oversight” commission. Pay executives exorbitant fees. And “murdered” eight people with their profit-driven, minimal-maintenance program. (See the 2010 gasline pipe explosion in San Bruno.) And then they run months and months of expensive full-page color ads touting their community-mindedness and raise rates again to pay for their ad campaign. It’s ill-conceived/sick/braindead to give private people a monopoly using public funds. PG&E is an investor-owned electric utility (IOU) with publicly traded stock that is headquartered in the Pacific Gas & Electric Building in San Francisco. PG&E Corporation has a market capitalization of $29.37 billion. The chairman is paid more than $10 million per year. Per year! The CEO is paid more than $3 million per year. Multiple executives are paid more than $2 million per year. And guess who pays those salaries? The hard-working rate-payers. Giving investors control of a public utility/monopoly is a license to steal and they do! When they break the law and are fined, guess who pays the fine? The rate-payers. Take a look at PG&E and take a look at our JEA future. Makes me want to vomit all over that made-in-hell proposal.
David King Keller via email
PAGING DR. MORALE
RE.: “Trafficking in Hope,” by Sean Smith, Feb. 28 AS I SAT HERE IN THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE WAITING room and read this article, my heart broke. I couldn’t imagine this lifestyle these women were/are subjected to. I thought to myself, ‘What could I do?’ As I continued to think about the story, I started going through the rest of Folio Weekly. Imagine my surprise, disgust and just genuine pissed-offness I felt when I got to the back of Folio Weekly and saw the ad for the gentleman’s club! The very places human trafficking can occur! WTH?
Please don’t take any further money from these scummy people!
Marilyn Williams via email
IT’S OBFUSCATION TIME!
RE.: “God Bless the NRA,” by Bart Welling, March 7 MORE MINDLESS NRA BASHING. LIKE MOST LIBERALS, the writer failed to think through how a war on guns would be fought. Any different than the war on drugs? I’m sure the liberal writer was opposed to the war on drugs because it locked up too many black guys. What does he think a war on guns would do? Lock up fewer black guys? NO. The police will have to go into inner city neighborhoods to enforce the gun control liberals want. There will be conflicts with black males. Will liberals support the police? HELL, NO. Where is the criticism of the Democrats being in bed with the teachers’ union? Public schools do two things well. They do well with college-bound students and they do well when it comes to producing students who commit suicide and mass murder. When Republicans propose common sense reforms like school choice, where are liberals? They want to force unhappy students to keep attending the public schools, knowing full well many would rather kill themselves than attend the schools. Well, that is liberal compassion for you.
Joe Cole via web
MISSING THE POINT
RE: “The Mail,” Feb. 28 MS. MORGAN’S LETTER RE.: HEALTH CARE IS VERY interesting, but since her premise is entirely false, it must be disregarded. She says, “Our founding fathers stated in the Constitution that we have RIGHTS to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” This is not true. These words do not appear in the Constitution. The Declaration of Independence states “All men are ... endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights ... [including] life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” If Ms. Morgan wants someone to provide her with healthcare, I would refer her to her Creator who gave her the right to life but left the care of that life to her. It is her responsibility—not the government’s.
Wayne Curtis via email
BRICKBATS + BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO DAVID SWINYAR The Kernan Middle School teacher was suspended without pay last week for allegedly using the N-word in front of students, telling kids that dating black boys was “not worth it,” calling students “dumb,” and other wildly inappropriate behavior. Swinyar has reportedly been under investigation since October. Swinyar, who declined to comment, has denied using the N-word. BOUQUETS TO DONALD BOWDEN Mandarin’s “Frog Man,” a reader writes, recently became the first man to receive the 2018 Miss Aggie Award for outstanding charitable and community service to the Mandarin community. For three years, Bowden has made and sold fanciful concrete frogs to benefit the Mandarin Museum & Historical Society, raking in more than $55,000! BRICKBATS TO SCOTT SHINE Shine was the lone dissent when the rest of the Duval County School Board voted against arming teachers, ’cause, duh, lawsuits and kids getting shot. He says that he doesn’t support arming teachers, but voted that way because other districts might still want to let teachers pack heat. So as long as the dead kids aren’t in Duval, it’s OK, Mr. Shine?
______________________________________________________________ DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A BRICKBAT? Send submissions to email@example.com; 50 word maximum, concerning a person, place, or topic of local interest. 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
FOLIO VOICES : FIGHTIN’ WORDS
IF YOU WANT AN INTERESTING indication of where the civil liberties debate is in Jacksonville these days, consider a Wednesday meeting of the City Council’s Safe & Healthy Neighborhoods committee. The topic? “The purpose of this meeting is to discuss community cleanup and the utilization of inmates.” That’s where things are now. The streets are so strewn with litter, debris and blight that we need inmates to clean it up. This is a policy Jacksonville plays footsie with periodically. The idea was floated in January, when Councilman Reggie Brown, this committee’s head, suggested using inmate work crews during a public notice meeting, because the city doesn’t have enough crews of actual workers to do the job. Of course, this has been tried before and there have been issues; apparently, contraband is one, periodic escape attempts another. Beyond security issues, there are other issues with inmate work crews; namely, the incentivization to process people through the system as conscript labor. We all remember how the “chain gangs” they show in the old movies had to do hard labor, and it’s hard to draw a meaningful difference—at least, to me—between conscript labor in the penal system and conscript labor of bygone times. Having Jim Crow tendencies is especially true here, as it is with many Deep South cities. These are spotlighted quite vividly through traffic and pedestrian enforcement in traditionally African-American areas. In these neighborhoods, pretextual stops, say for a jaywalking offense or an expired tag, lead seamlessly to stop-and-frisk. From there, who knows? Traffic laws, we are told, are a state matter. That very same state tried and ultimately failed, at least this year, to make texting while driving a primary offense. No one likes texting while driving (we hope). But elevating that foolishness to a primary offense gives law enforcement a reason to pull anyone over for something as innocuous as receiving an email or checking directions while driving. Is watching over us our government’s last legitimate role? The dollar is bled dry. The legacy costs are bar tabs of bygone decades. Yet encroachments on the right to feel secure in one’s person—these are the sole realm of progress for the state. How palsied is our local discourse? Here’s an open trivia question: When was the last
law passed locally that made people, especially those who are members of perpetually threatened classes, more secure in their person? Was it this decade? This century? It’s so bad that when I saw U.S. Department of Housing & Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson speak here last week, I was amazed … that he spoke to the excesses of the carceral state with more passion and directness than any elected official currently serving NE Florida. Who among Northeast Florida elected officials observes, for example, that the United States has “5 percent of the world’s population, 25 percent of the world’s prison population”? “When we start to think about it that way, what it costs to train somebody, what it costs for someone to go to college, it costs more to keep somebody incarcerated. It’s also costing us their own positive contributions and one of the things we need to realize about our young people is that we have so many in our penal system, particularly young black males,” Carson also said. Our leaders are silent on this—never mind addressing institutional causes of the pipelines to jails and prisons ranging from the Eastside to the Northwest Quadrant. Carson doesn’t do press gaggles, but I had my running shoes on that day, so I chased him to the elevator, where I asked him about our policymakers’ favorite jail stuffer: marijuana prohibition. Specifically, I asked him if he supported Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ anti-weed jihad. His answer, like a fortune cookie, represented a certain realism: “I’m hoping that as a society we will try and do the right thing with cannabis,” Carson said, as the elevator door closed. I’m hoping that as a city we try to as well. I’m hoping that we decriminalize cannabis, in part because prohibition is just another reason to lock people up for victimless crimes to get around our inability to solve the violence epidemic, but also in part because it’s a good faith measure for marginalized groups. And while we’re at it, I’m hoping we’re able to take a look at what law enforcement does in this city, and how it fits into a multidecade evisceration of minority communities in a facile pursuit of law-and-order tropes.
BEHIND Jacksonville needs to look at EQUALITY UNDER LAW
A.G. Gancarski firstname.lastname@example.org @aggancarski MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9
NEWS AAND NOTES: LAW & ORDERLESSNESS TOP HEADLINES FROM THE ASSOCIATION OF ALTERNATIVE NEWSMEDIA F*CKING COPS
Inspired by a BuzzFeed story about a NYC teen accusing two police officers of raping her while she was in custody, DigBoston notes that, like 34 other states, Massachusetts does NOT legally ban cops from having consensual sex with people in police custody. This can make it harder for victims to get justice if the cop claims the sex was consensual—like the two in the BuzzFeed story—because courts usually give officers’ words more value than, say, junkies, prostitutes, homeless people, trans people, etc. An associate criminal justice professor and ex-cop told DB that, based on his research, “while it isn’t normal, it is fairly common for cops to have sex while on duty.” The bright side? Some states are looking to change the law. The even brighter side? We don’t have anything to worry about; it’s already illegal in Florida and Georgia.
< A CROWN OF GREEN AND GOLD
The so-called Prince of Pot, Marc Emery, is known for delivering fiery speeches about cannabis—which he is unequivocally in favor of legalizing. But Georgia Straight says that our new hero Emery went above and beyond the call of duty on March 6, during a stop in Valleta, Malta on his international tour. In a two-hour tirade, Emery, who has done 39 turns in the pokey, encouraged the audience to lose their fear of jail, saying spending time in the slammer inspires his best writing and thinking. Emery also tossed out some of his favorite quips, “the government is evil,” and “law is a form of civil war,” and said that anyone who is “against cannabis [is] against Jesus,” GS reports. Seriously, this guy is awesome. But we’ll take his word on the inspiration one finds in jail.
< THAT’S JUST CRAZY
As mental health funding and awareness remain abominably low for the general population, the prison population, which includes high numbers of people with mental health issues, typically suffers even more. In a revealing story for Illinois Times, editorial intern (!) Megan Swett reports prisoners have filed suit alleging the terms of 2015 settlement to improve the standard of mental healthcare are being systematically violated. According to testimony by plaintiffs’ witnesses, staffing shortages are rife, prisoners report waiting more than 60 days to see counselors, the most seriously ill are frequently strapped to beds in isolation and, if a patient/prisoner misbehaves, they are placed in isolation. “So when somebody acts up during treatment, their punishment is no more treatment,” an inmate’s attorney reportedly asked. “Yes,” the chief of operations for the department of corrections responded. IT further reports that one of the company’s medical quality assurance coordinators testified that 328 inmates at a single facility did not receive care in the timeframe established by the settlement. The Illinois Department of Corrections and the company with a contract to provide treatment deny that the standard of care being provided to mentally ill prisoners comprises unconstitutional cruel and unusual punishment.
< THE DALLAS KIM DANIELS
We were highly entertained by Patheos’ Feb. 26 coverage of Florida House Rep. Kim Daniels’ impromptu Facebook Live daybreak prayer for Donald Trump, in which she commanded “every witch and every warlock that could try to send confusion to this nation … to this great man [that’s Trump, apparently] … . I say they will be fired.” So. That happened. Soothe thyself, fair shame-faced Northeast Florida reader, with Gloria Copeland, a televangelist who does not hold public office. (Yet! It is Texas.) Dallas Observer was recently deeply amused to hear Copeland say there is no such thing as a flu season. “Her argument was that people of true faith can’t get sick because Jesus Christ bore away their illnesses with his death on the cross,” DO’s Jim Schutze writes. Schutze then digs in for an intensely interesting analysis of Copeland’s incantation, “Flu, I bind you off of the people in the name of Jesus,” which he says is essentially faith-healing, or a spell, or sorcery. This leads him to conclude, “Gloria Copeland is a witch.” And not just any witch, a “scary witch.” She and her husband and presumed partner in witchcraft are also on the president’s Evangelical Advisory Board. Now don’t you kinda hope Daniels’ prayer is answered? 10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
FOLIO O O VOICES VO C S : E PLUR PLURIBUS U JAX
WE ARE NOT IMMIGRANTS Boricua in Jax AFTER THE STORM AS BEATRICE CHANDLER SERVES A GRACIOUS portion of tostones con mojito (fried plantains in garlic sauce) and arroz y habichuelas con bistec (rice, beans, onions and sirloin) on a February afternoon, she says several family members back in Puerto Rico finally had their electricity restored in the last two weeks. Chandler has worked in her family’s restaurant, Latin Creations, for three years. Her parents started the restaurant seven years ago at the Beach Boulevard Flea Market. She introduces me to Luis Ofray, a young man in a puffy Diamond Supply Co. baseball cap who’s been in Jacksonville with his two little boys for four months. “I never knew so much despair,” Ofray says, Chandler translating. “I never thought I’d see everything I knew destroyed.” When Hurricane Maria struck Puerto Rico in late September, Ofray watched floodwaters inundate his apartment building. Having no electricity for days, then weeks, then months, he watched whole walls of his building collapse. Mosquitoes multiplied, biting him and his boys—one just a year old, the other only four months old. Lucky for him, Ofray had an uncle in Jacksonville. Puerto Ricans across Jacksonville come to Latin Creations for chicken, pork, plantains and rice that stirs memories of their homeland. Food does that—works magically across vast distances and geography, connects strangers in friendship and family. “People say this food reminds them of home,” Chandler says. “They say, ‘It makes me so happy.’” Floridians need to know that Puerto Ricans aren’t immigrants—they are Americans. It’s a refrain Puerto Ricans have found themselves saying over and over in the wake of Hurricane Maria. In fact, the federal government has left perhaps as many as 1.5 million American citizens in the dark for nearly five months, largely ignoring a national catastrophe, treating the Spanish-speaking Americans as second-class citizens. According to some estimates, since Hurricane Maria hammered Puerto Rico, destroying its infrastructure and wiping out electricity across the United States territory, at least 200,000 Puerto Ricans have made their way to Florida. The numbers are impossible to track, as Nancy Quinones, president of the Puerto Rican Hispanic Chamber of Commerce in Jacksonville, points out. “Nobody knows the numbers,” she says. “Some come through our airport, some up from Orlando. Many people aren’t registered to vote, haven’t had time to register their kids for school here, aren’t registered to drive.” Whatever metrics might be used will fail to suffice. Estimates of how many Puerto Ricans have relocated to Northeast Florida vary widely; one number that’s been casually tossed around is 60,000. But no one can be sure.
Maria Vazquez, Beatrice’s mother, has lived in Jacksonville for 11 years. She speaks of a retired uncle in San Juan, Puerto Rico, who watched his home buckle in the standing water, but had to wait for weeks for floods to recede to regain electricity before he could attend to the structural damage to his home. Vazquez and Chandler hear stories of people waiting in line all day at grocery stores, before being told there’s no more bread, no more water, no more ice. Chandler says Jacksonville’s Puerto Rican community was already growing rapidly, but since the hurricane and the failed federal response, Latin Creations has become a cultural barometer, if not a way station. “We see people bringing in their elderly parents or grandparents, or their young children or nieces and nephews or cousins,” Chandler says. She and her family paid airfare for cousins and their children, though the family didn’t have much to spare, and all flights were already booked four weeks out. Chandler says she and her family felt proud when JEA sent crews to Puerto Rico to help restore electricity. But months after the president threw paper towels at Puerto Rican crowds and pronounced the island territory more successful at hurricane recovery than New Orleans after Katrina, nearly 40 percent of Puerto Rico still has no electricity and the Federal Emergency Management Agency is preparing to end its efforts to help Puerto Ricans land on their feet in the States. Quinones says that as FEMA ends its vouchers for Puerto Ricans to stay in Florida hotels, large numbers of islanders are wondering where to turn. Meanwhile, she’s been working with the Salvation Army, various charities and the Department of Housing & Urban Development. She says the mayor’s office has failed to return her phone calls. “I’m not seeing any action at all from the city,” says Quinones, “and I’m receiving no response from the mayor.” Not only do Jacksonville Puerto Ricans and their families need help, need jobs, employment training and housing, says Quinones, “we need to know how the mayor’s office can help us so that we can add further to Jacksonville’s economy.” Luis Ofray says he doesn’t know where he and his children will be in the future, but he’s grateful Latin Creations has given him work. “I don’t know if I can go back or when,” he says. “I just have to think about now, and for now, I’m here.” Timothy Gilmore EPluribus@folioweekly.com _____________________________________
E Pluribus Jax profiles unique individuals and groups that comprise and define our community. Share your local subculture/ethnicity/religious minority/disability/hairstyle or other otherness at email@example.com. MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11
overnment transparency laws like the Freedom of Information Act exist to enforce the public’s right to inspect records so we can all figure out what the heck is being done in our name and with our tax dollars. When a public agency ignores, breaks or twists the law, though, your recourse varies by jurisdiction. In some states, when an official improperly responds to your public records request, you can appeal to a higher bureaucratic authority or seek help from an ombudsperson. In most states, you can take the dispute to court. Public shaming and sarcasm, however, are tactics that can be applied anywhere. The California-based news organization Reveal tweets photos of chickpeas or coffee beans to represent each day a FOIA response is overdue, and asks followers to guess how many there are. The alt weekly DigBoston has sent multiple birthday cakes and edible arrangements to local agencies on the one-year anniversary of delayed public records requests. And here, at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, we give out The Foilies during Sunshine Week, an annual celebration of open-government advocacy. In its fourth year, The Foilies recognizes the worst responses to records requests, outrageous efforts to stymie transparency and the most absurd redactions. These tongue-in-cheek pseudoawards are hand-chosen by EFF’s team based on nominations from fellow transparency advocates, participants in #FOIAFriday on Twitter and, in some cases, our own personal experience. If you haven’t heard of us, here’s a runddown: EFF is a nonprofit based in San Francisco that works on the local, national and global level to defend and advance civil liberties as technology develops. As part of this work, we file scores of public records requests and take agencies like the U.S. Department of Justice, the Department of Homeland Security and the Los Angeles Police Department to court to liberate information that belongs to the public. Because shining a spotlight is sometimes the best litigation strategy, we are pleased to announce the 2018 winners of The Foilies.
THE MULLIGAN AWARD PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP Since assuming the presidency, Donald Trump has skipped town more than 55 days to visit his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida, according to sites like trumpgolfcount.com and NBC. He calls it his “Winter White House,” where he wines and dines and openly strategizes how to respond to North Korean ballistic missile tests with the Japanese prime minister for all his paid guests to see and post on Facebook. The fact that Trump’s properties have become secondary offices and remain a source of income for his family raises significant questions about transparency, particularly if club membership comes with special access to the president. To hold the administration accountable, Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington filed an FOIA request for the visitor logs, but received little in response. CREW sued and, after taking another look, the Secret Service provided details about the Japanese leader’s entourage. As Politico and others reported, the Secret Service ultimately admitted they’re not actually keeping track. The same can’t be said about Trump’s golf score.
FOIA FEE OF THE YEAR
Recognizing the year’s worst in GOVERNMENT TRANSPARENCY story by ELECTRONIC FRONTIER FOUNDATION illustrations by HUGH D’ANDRADE 12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
TEXAS DEPARTMENT OF CRIMINAL JUSTICE Sexual assault in prison is notoriously difficult to measure due to stigma, intimidation and an apathetic bureaucracy. Nevertheless, MuckRock reporter Nathanael King made a valiant effort to find out whatever he could about these investigations in Texas, a state once described by the Dallas Voice as the “Prison Rape Capital of the U.S.” However, the numbers the Texas Department of Criminal Justice came back with weren’t quite was he was expecting. TDCJ demanded he fork over a whopping $1,132,024.30 before the agency would release 260,000 pages of records that it said would take 61,000 hours of staff time to process. That in itself may be an indicator of the scope of the problem. However, to the agency’s credit, it pointed the reporter in the direction of other statistical records compiled to comply with the federal Prison Rape Elimination Act, which TDCJ provided for free.
BEST SET DESIGN IN A TRANSPARENCY THEATER PRODUCTION ATLANTA MAYOR KASIM REED “Transparency theater” is the term we use to describe an empty gesture meant to look like an agency is embracing open government, when really it’s meant to obfuscate. For example, an agency may dump an overwhelming number of documents and put them on display for cameras. But because there are so many records, the practice actually subverts transparency by making it extremely difficult to find the most relevant records in the haystack. Such was the case with Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed, who released 1.476 million documents about a corruption probe to show his office was supporting public accountability. “The documents filled hundreds of white cardboard boxes, many stacked up waist-high against walls and spread out over rows of tables in the cavernous old City Council chamber,” Atlanta JournalConstitution reporter Leon Stafford wrote. “Reed used some of the boxes as the backdrop for his remarks, creating a sixfoot wall behind him.” Journalists began to dig through the documents and quickly discovered that many were blank pages or fully redacted; in some cases, the type was too small for anyone to read. AJC reporter J. Scott Trubey’s hands became covered in papercut gore. Ultimately, the whole spectacle was a waste of trees: The records already existed in a digital format. It’s just that a couple of hard drives on a desk don’t make for a great photo op.
set of 110,000 pages wouldn’t be complete until 2034. Just as Winger’s girlfriend’s dad disapproved in the song, so did a federal judge, writing in her opinion: “The agency’s desire for administrative convenience is simply not a valid justification for telling Professor Seavey that she must wait decades for the documents she needs to complete her work.”
THE PRIME EXAMPLE AWARD MIDCOAST REGIONAL REDEVELOPMENT AUTHORITY When Amazon announced last year it was seeking a home for its second headquarters, municipalities around the country rushed to put together proposals to lure the tech giant to their region. Knowing that, in Seattle, Amazon left a substantial footprint on a
community (particularly around housing), transparency organizations like MuckRock and the Lucy Parsons Labs followed up with records requests for these cities’ sales pitches. More than 20 cities, such as Chula Vista, California, and Toledo, Ohio, produced the records—but other agencies, including Albuquerque, New Mexico and Jacksonville, Florida, refused to turn over the documents. The excuses varied, but perhaps the worst response came from Maine’s Midcoast Regional Redevelopment Authority. The agency did provide the records, but claimed that by opening an email containing 37 pages of documents, MuckRock had automatically agreed to pay an exorbitant $750 in “administrative and legal fees.” Remind us to disable one-click ordering.
EL PREMIO DEL DESAYUNO MÁS REDACTADO CIA Buzzfeed reporter Jason Leopold has filed thousands of records requests over his career, but one redaction has become his all-time favorite. Leopold was curious whether CIA staff members are assailed by the same stream of office announcements as every other workplace. So, he filed a FOIA request— and holy Hillenkoetter, are they! Deep in the document set was an announcement that “the breakfast burritos are back by popular demand,” with a gigantic redaction covering half the page citing a personal privacy exemption. What are they hiding? Is Anthony Bourdain secretly a covert agent? Did David Petraeus demand extra guac? This could be the CIA’s greatest Latin
SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT FOR ANALOG CONVERSION FORMER SEATTLE MAYOR ED MURRAY In the increasingly digital age, more and more routine office communication is occurring over mobile devices. With that in mind, transparency activist Phil Mocek filed a request for text messages (and other app communications) sent or received by now-former Mayor Ed Murray and many of his aides in Seattle. The good news? The city at least partially complied. The weird news? Rather than seek the help of an IT professional to export the text messages, some staff simply plopped a cell phone onto a photocopier. Mocek tells EFF he’s frustrated that the mayor’s office staff refused to search their personal devices for relevant text messages. They argued that city policy forbids using personal phones for city business—and of course, no one would violate those rules. However, we’ll concede that thwarting transparency is probably the least of the allegations against Murray, who resigned in September 2017 amid a child sex-abuse scandal.
THE WINGER AWARD FOR FOIA FEET-DRAGGING FBI Thirty years ago, the hair-rock band Winger released “Seventeen”—a song about young love that really hasn’t withstood the test of time. Similarly, the FBI’s claim that it would take 17 years to produce a series of records about civil rights-era surveillance also didn’t withstand the judicial test of time. As Politico reported, George Washington University professor and documentary filmmaker Nina Seavey asked for records about how the FBI spied on antiwar and civil rights activists in the 1960s and 1970s. The FBI claimed it would process only 500 pages a month, which would mean the full
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THE LAWLESS AGENCY AWARD <<< FROM PREVIOUS American mystery since Nicaraguan Contra drug-trafficking.
THE COURTHOUSE BULLY AWARD EVERY AGENCY SUING A REQUESTER As director of the privacy advocacy group We See You Watching Lexington, Michael Maharrey filed a public records request to find out how his city was spending money on surveillance cameras. After the Lexington Police Department denied the request, he appealed to the Kentucky Attorney General’s office—and won. Rather than listen to the state’s top law enforcement official, Lexington ngton Police hauled Maharrey into nto court. As the Associated Press reported last year, lawsuits like these are reaching epidemic proportions. The Louisiana Department of Education sued a retired educator who was seeking school enrollment data for his blog. Portland Public ic Schools in Oregon sued a parent who was curious about employees mployees paid while on leave for alleged misconduct. Michigan State University sued ESPN after it requested police reports on football players allegedly involved in a sexual assault. Meanwhile, the University of Kentucky and Western Kentucky University have each sued their own student newspapers whose reporters were investigating sexual misconduct by school staff. These lawsuits are despicable. At their most charitable, they expose huge gaps in public records laws that put requesters on the hook for defending lawsuits they never anticipated. At their worst, they’re part of a systematic effort to discourage reporters and concerned citizens from even thinking of filing a public records request in the first place.
Atlanta Mayor Kasim Reed staged a little transparency theater-releasing 1.476 million documents about a corruption probe. Just one problem: many were blank, fully redacted or in font too small to read. photo by J. Scott Trubey, Atlanta Journal Constitution
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U.S. CUSTOMS & BORDER PROTECTION In the chaos of President Trump’s immigration ban in early 2017, the actions of U.S. Customs & Border Protection agents and higher-ups verged on unlawful. And if CBP officials already had their minds set on violating all sorts of laws and the Constitution, flouting FOIA seems like small potatoes. Yet that’s precisely what CBP did when the ACLU filed a series of FOIA requests to understand local CBP agents’ actions as they implemented Trump’s immigration order. ACLU affiliates throughout the nation filed 18 separate FOIA requests with CBP, each of which targeted records documenting how specific field offices, often located at airports or physical border crossings, were managing and implementing the ban. The requests made clear that they were not documents, seeking agency-wide ag rather wanted information but rat about each specific location’s abo activities. ac CBP ignored the requests and, when several ACLU affiliates filed 13 different lawsuits, CBP sought to further delay responding by asking a federal court panel to consolidate all the cases co into a single lawsuit. use this procedure— To u usually reserved for class which is usu actions or other complex national cases—CBP essentially misled courts about each of the FOIA requests and claimed each was seeking the exact same set of records. The court panel saw through CBP’s shenanigans and refused to consolidate the cases. But CBP basically ignored the panel’s decision, acting as though it had won. First, it behaved as though all the requests came from a single lawsuit by processing and batching all the documents from the various requests into a single production given to the ACLU. Second, it selectively released records to particular ACLU attorneys, even when those records weren’t related to their lawsuits about activities at local CBP offices. Laughably, CBP blames the ACLU for its self-created mess, calling their requests
and lawsuits “haphazard” and arguing that the ACLU and other FOIA requesters have strained the agency’s resources in seeking records about the immigration ban. None of that would be a problem if CBP had responded to the FOIA requests in the first place. Of course, the whole mess could have been avoided if CBP had never implemented an unconstitutional immigration order.
THE FRANZ KAFKA AWARD FOR MOST SECRETS ABOUT SECRETIVE SECRECY THE CIA The CIA’s aversion to FOIA is legendary, but this year the agency doubled down on its mission of thwarting transparency. As Emma Best detailed for MuckRock, the intelligence agency had compiled a 20-page report that laid out at least 126 reasons why it could deny FOIA requests that officials believed would disclose the agency’s “sources and methods.” But that report? Yeah, it’s totally classified. So not only do you not get to know what the CIA’s up to, but its reasons for rejecting your FOIA request are also a state secret.
snowballed into an administration that deletes public records from government websites. From the National Park Service’s climate action plans for national parks, to the U.S.D.A. animal welfare datasets, to nonpartisan research on the corporate income tax, the Trump Administration has decided to make facts that don’t support its positions disappear. The best example of this vanishing game is the Environmental Protection Agency’s removal of the climate change website in April 2017, which went back online only after being scrubbed of climate change references, studies and information to educate the public.
THE DANGER IN THE DARK AWARD THE U.S. ARMY CORPS OF ENGINEERS When reporters researching the Dakota
Access Pipeline on contested tribal lands asked for the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers’ environmental impact statement, they were told nope, you can’t have it. Officials cited public safety concerns as the reason to deny the request: “The referenced document contains information related to sensitive infrastructure that if misused could endanger peoples’ lives and property.” Funny thing is, the Army Corps had already published the same document on its website a year earlier. What changed in that one year? Politics. The Standing Rock Sioux, other tribal leaders and “Water Protector” allies had since staged a multi-month peaceful protest and sit-in to halt construction of the pipeline. The need for public scrutiny of the document became clear in June when a U.S. federal judge found that the environmental
impact statement omitted key considerations, such as the impact of an oil spill on the Standing Rock Sioux’s hunting and fishing rights, as well as the impact on environmental justice.
THE BUSINESS PROTECTION AGENCY AWARD THE FOOD & DRUG ADMINISTRATION The FDA’s mission is to protect the public from harmful pharmaceuticals, but it’s recently fallen into the habit of protecting powerful drug companies rather than informing people about potential drug risks. This past year, Charles Seife at Scientific American requested documents about the drug-approval process for a controversial drug to treat Duchenne
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SPECIAL RECOGNITION FOR CONGRESSIONAL OVERREACH U.S. HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES Because Congress wrote the Freedom of Information Act, it had the awesome and not-at-all-a-conflict-of-interest power to determine which parts of the federal government must obey it. That’s why it may not shock you to know that since passing FOIA more than 50 years ago, Congress has never made itself subject to the law. So far, requesters have been able to fill in the gaps by requesting records from federal agencies that correspond with Congress. For example, maybe a lawmaker writes to the U.S. Department of Puppies asking for statistics on labradoodles. That adorable email chain wouldn’t be available through Congress, but you could get it from the Puppies Department’s FOIA office. (Just to be clear: This isn’t a real federal agency. We just wish it were.) In 2017, it became increasingly clear that some members of Congress believe FOIA can never reach anything they do, even when they or their staffs share documents or correspond with federal agencies. The House Committee on Financial Services sent a threatening letter to the Treasury Department, telling it to not comply with FOIA. After the Department of Health & Human Services and the Office of Management & Budget released records that came from the House Ways & Means Committee, the House intervened in litigation to argue that its records cannot be obtained under FOIA. In many cases, congressional correspondence with agencies is automatically covered by FOIA, and the fact that a document originated with Congress isn’t by itself enough to shield it from disclosure. The Constitution says Congress gets to write laws; it’s too bad it doesn’t require Congress to actually read them.
THE DATA DISAPPEARANCE AWARD TRUMP ADMINISTRATION Last year, we gave the “Make America Opaque Again Award” award to newly inaugurated President Trump for failing to follow tradition and release his tax returns during the campaign. His talent for refusing to make information available to the public has
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<<< FROM PREVIOUS muscular dystrophy (DMD). The agency cited business exemptions and obscured listed side effects as well as testing methodology for the drug, despite claims that the drug company manipulated results during product trials and pressured the FDA to push an ineffective drug onto the market. The agency even redacted portions of a Bloomberg Businessweek article about the drug because the story provided names and pictures of teenagers living with DMD.
THE EXHAUSTED MAILMAN AWARD BUREAU OF INDIAN AFFAIRS Requesting information that’s already been made public should be quick and fairly simple—but not when you’re dealing with the Bureau of Indian Affairs. A nomination sent into EFF requested all logs of previously released FOIA information by the BIA. The requester even stated that he’d prefer links to the information, which agencies typically provide for records they’ve already put on their websites. Instead, BIA printed 1,390 pages of those logs, stuffed them into 10 separate envelopes, and sent them via registered mail for a grand total cost to taxpayers of $179.
CRIME & PUNISHMENT AWARD MARTIN COUNTY COMMISSIONERS, FLORIDA Generally, The Foilies skew cynical because, in many states, open records laws are toothless and treated as recommendations rather than mandates. One major exception to the rule is Florida, where violations of its “Sunshine Law” can result in criminal prosecution. That brings us to Martin County Commissioners Ed Fielding and Sarah Heard and former Commissioner oner Anne Scott, each of whom were booked oked into jail in November on multiple ultiple charges related to violations ations of the state’s public records ords law. As Jose Lambiet of GossipExtra and the Miami Herald reported, the case emerges from a dispute between the county and a mining company that had already resulted in taxpayers footing a $500,000 settlement in a public records lawsuit. Among the allegations, ons, the officials were accused of destroying, delaying and altering records. The cases are set to go to trial in December 2018, Lambiet told EFF. Of course, people are innocent until proved guilty, but that doesn’t make public officials immune to The Foilies.
THE SQUARE FOOTAGE AWARD JACKSONVILLE SHERIFF’S OFFICE When a government mistake results in a death, it’s important for the community 16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
to get all the facts. In the case of 63-yearold Blane Land, who was fatally hit by a Jacksonville Sheriff patrol car, those facts include dozens of internal investigations against the officer behind the wheel. The officer, Tim James, has since been arrested on allegations that he beat a handcuffed youth, raising the question of why he was still on duty after the vehicular fatality. Land’s family hired attorney John M. Phillips, who filed a request for records. Rather than having a complete airing of the cop’s alleged misdeeds, the sheriff came back with a demand for $314,687.91 to produce the records, almost all of which was for processing and searching by the internal affairs division. Amid public outcry over the prohibitive fee, the sheriff took to social media to complain about how much work it would take to go through all the records in the 1,600-cubic-foot storage room filled with old-school filing cabinets. The family is not responsible for the sheriff ’s filing system or feng shui, nor is it the family’s fault that the sheriff kept an officer on the force as the complaints—and the accompanying disciplinary records— stacked up.
THESE AREN’T THE RECORDS YOU’RE LOOKING FOR AWARD SAN DIEGO CITY COUNCILMEMBER CHRIS CATE Shortly after last year’s San Diego Comic-Con and shortly before the release of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, the city of San Diego held a ceremony to name a street after former resident and actor Mark Hamill. A private citizen (whose day job involves writing The Foilies) wanted to know: How does a Hollywood star get his own roadway? The city produced hundreds of pages related to his request that showed how an effort to change the name of Chargers Boulevard after the football team abandoned the city led to the creation of Drive. Mark Hamill Drive document set even included The documen Twitter direct dire messages between Councilmember Chris City Cou Cate and a the actor. However, Cate used How an iineffective black marker to redact, m accidentally releasing ac Hamill’s cell phone H number and other nu personal contact pe details. det As tempting as it was A to put Luke Skywalker (and the voice of the Joker) speed-dial, the requester on speed-d did not want to be responsible for doxxing one of the world’s most beloved actors. He alerted Cate’s office of the error, which then re-uploaded properly redacted documents.
The Foilies were compiled by Electronic Frontier Foundation Senior Investigative Researcher Dave Maass, Staff Attorney Aaron Mackey and Frank Stanton Fellow Camille Fischer. Illustrations are by EFF Art Director Hugh D’Andrade. For more on our work, visit eff.org.
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FOLIO A + E
he 16th annual Independent Music Awards (IMA) are held on Saturday, March 31 at Lincoln Center in New York City, and Ben Adkins will be there, in one of the seats reserved for nominees. Just being in the room is a dream come true for any serious jazz fan, and more so for a musician. His is one of more than 400 nominations in 96 categories. Born in February 1986 in St. Augustine, Adkins just turned 32, but he’s already been playing professionally for 22 years. “I studied privately until college,” he says, “and then got my B.M. from UNF and my M.M. from FSU, under the tutelage of Danny Gottlieb and Leon Anderson, respectively.” He credits folks like Charlotte Mabrey, Peter Miles, Ricky Kirkland and Danny Clarke among his teachers, “not to mention all of my incredible peers like Jacksonville’s own John Lumpkin and many more.” As far as influences go, he cites Max Roach, Jimmy Cobb, Tony Williams and Elvin Jones, along with modernists Arthur Latin, Johnny Vidacovich, Herlin Riley and Brian Blade. We’d add names like Gene Krupa, Davey Tough and Big Sid Catlett, as well as pioneers like Baby Dodds, the man who really got the whole jazz drumming lineage started in Storyville a century ago. In a city widely acclaimed for a profusion of prodigious percussive talent, Adkins has managed to stand out. He may be best known for his work in Raisin Cake Orchestra, with Jim Snyder (clarinet, tenor sax), John Chapman (bass) and Scott Giddens (keys); their debut album is due out later this year. He also features in pianist Joshua Bowlus’ Trio, with bassist Ricky Ravelo, and he leads his own group with Bowlus, Stan Piper (bass), Paul Miller (guitar) and Alphonso Horne (trumpet). Those last four all appear on Salmagundi, as does guest vocalist Linda Cole. Saxophonist Mike Emmert plays on “That Jambalaya,” along with guitarist Chris Adkins, who wrote the song, a New Orleans-flavored romp that allows Ben to show off his formidable second-line chops. Being a bandleader, in Adkins’ view, requires a whole different creative concept than working as a sideman. He says, “As a sideman, you’ve got to make the band sound good, but you’re creatively learning how to navigate someone else’s vision. With a collaborative project, you can make suggestions as to the direction and divide democratically. When you’re a leader, there is a lot more pressure to get all of the other things lined up (i.e., music selection, who you want to solo where, keeping the audience engaged, ensuring the music is easy to follow for the
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FILM "Classic" Westerns ARTS Wolf Hall MUSIC Get The Led Out LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CALENDAR
DRUMMIN’ MAN Ben Adkins MARCHES TO THE BEAT of his own drummer—himself
PG. 20 PG. 26 PG. 28 PG. 29
musicians). It can make it difficult to focus on your own playing in such a situation, so it takes a lot of mental fortitude to not let the pressure impact the final product, and it doesn’t always work out.” “Salmagundi” means “A general mixture; a miscellaneous collection,” but the album itself has a much more cohesive feel, probably because it was no overnight process. “Writing all the tunes took years,” he says. (Adkins wrote five of the album’s 10 songs, which fit right in alongside tunes by Blue Mitchell, Charlie Parker, Arthur Schwartz and Billy Strayhorn.) “Arranging them and organizing the date took about a year, post-production took another six months, then the real work began—promoting it.” That included a photo shoot by Crystal Bos at Sweet Pete’s in Downtown Jacksonville. Adkins was nominated in IMA’s category of Best Funk/Fusion/Jam Song for the track “Five in Time,” which he describes as “the furthest deviation from ‘center’ on the album.” His fellow nominees include Nik West, Los Banksters, Joan Torres All Is Fused and Eddie Moore & the Outer Circle. “I have heard them,” he says, “and, frankly, they all sound great! Even if I don’t win, just having someone appreciate my art this much in the first place means I’ve already won.” Like most good news, the nomination came entirely out of the blue. “We were notified by email,” he says, “and I was just settling in for a quick power nap between gigs. Needless to say, I couldn’t sleep, and I’ve been running on adrenaline since then. I called my family first, then immediately started calling all of my teachers to thank them for all of their guidance and mentorship.” It’s a sign of his good nature and humility that he responded in that way, as opposed to, say, a round of whiskey shots. It’s been a very good year for the Adkins family overall. Ben and wife Stacey, a Duval County Public Schools teacher, have been married eight years, and their son just had his first birthday recently. “She’s my rock,” he says, “and I couldn’t have done half of the things I have without her support.” It seems that they’re both in the business of support, and doing it quite well.
Shelton Hull firstname.lastname@example.org
RAISIN CAKE ORCHESTRA
6-9 p.m. April 14, Prohibition Kitchen, St. Augustine, 209-5704, benadkinsmusic.com
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FOLIO OA A+E E : MAG MAGIC LANTERNS
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ow out in HD are two older features (“classics” as far as their age if not their quality) starring two of the most popular actors of all time, paired with screen goddesses. And each movie has a rather unusual setting, especially for the male stars, far removed from familiar screen locales. In Legend of the Lost, (1957) John Wayne, Sophia Loren and Rossano Brassi look for lost treasure in the Sahara. In Shalako, Sean Connery plays an ex-cavalry scout fighting Apaches in the American West and wooing Brigitte Bardot. A helluva combination! Produced by the Duke’s own Batjac Company and directed by Henry Hathaway, Legend disappointed viewers and especially critics. The ’50s were a decade of ups and downs for John Wayne. The year Legend came out, Jet Pilot (which the Duke said was his worst film) and Wings of Eagles (John Ford directed; far from his best) premiered. In ’56, Wayne played Genghis Khan in The Conqueror and starred in a stellar American Western, Ford’s The Searchers. Sophia Loren, three years before her Oscar-winning performance in Two Women (which marked her as a remarkable thespian rather than a sex symbol), was the new “exotic” actress. Italian star Brazzi had just wrapped his best-known American movie South Pacific, not yet out. Legend features extensive shooting in the desert and the ancient Roman ruins of Leptis Magna in Libya. Great British cinematographer Jack Cardiff captures the allure of those locales which, by contrast, make the studio scenes even more artificial. A riff of sorts on the superior Treasure of the Sierra Madre, the movie is crippled by a weak script short on action and shaky credibility. Wayne plays ex-French Legionnaire Joe January; Sophia Loren is Dita, harlot with a heart of gold. Brazzi is Paul, a sexually repressed idealist looking for his father’s lost fortune who flips out over Dita. Not really too good a movie, Legend is still something of a lost gem for John Wayne fans. Like other classic “stars” (Cary Grant, Gary Cooper, Humphrey Bogart), the Duke is always fun to watch, even when playing himself. Loren may be hard to take as a frowzy prostitute, but she’s a magnificent presence and a good actress. Brazzi tries hard, but the stars leave him literally in the dust. Hathaway directed Wayne in six films, four of them Westerns—the last (True Grit) finally earning the Duke an Oscar. Neither man was at his best in Legend of the Lost, but John Wayne fans shouldn’t miss it. Shalako, released in 1968, was Sean Connery’s first film after initially leaving
John Wayne and Sean Connery RIDE HARD in Westerns
the James Bond franchise after You Only Live Twice in ’67, his fifth turn as 007. Following the money, he returned to the role four years on for Diamonds Are Forever and much later—1983—in Never Say Never Again. Connery tried to shake the 007 stamp, as title character Shalako, an American cowboy in a movie filmed in Spain. The incredibly gorgeous Brigitte Bardot (as Irina) tried to be more than a sex symbol, à la Loren; yet she’d proved it a year earlier in Viva Maria! Director Louis Malle paired her with Jeanne Moreau in a wonderful, witty quasiWestern comedy. The supporting international Shalako cast is impressive: Irishman Stephen Boyd (Ben-Hur), Brit Jack Hawkins and German star Peter van Eyck. Also on hand is Honor Blackman, 007’s bedmate Pussy Galore in Goldfinger, and the great Woody Strode (playing Apache warrior Chato). Shalako is a terrific Western—right up to its disappointing climax. The plot: International big shots are on a hunting excursion, led by the treacherous Bosky (Boyd) into Apache territory. Shalako falls in love with the stunning Countess Irina and teaches the arrogant stiffs a thing or two about life on the frontier, winding up in a duel of lances with Chato. Film buffs will particularly enjoy that scene, recalling Strode doing the same against Kirk Douglas in Spartacus. Directed by pro Edward Dmytryk, the offbeat Shalako has good performances from Bardot and Connery as well as the whole colorful supporting cast. The scenery’s spectacular, the action all you’d expect—a truly unique Western, if not exactly a classic.
Pat McLeod email@example.com
NOW SHOWING CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Film Stars Don’t Die in Liverpool and In the Fade Molly’s Game screen. Throwback Thursday is The Man Who Knew Too Much noon March 15. SAFF film is In Bed with Victoria, noon March 17. All the Money in the World starts March 23. 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 697-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. IMAX THEATER Black Panther, A Wrinkle in Time, Amazon Adventure, Extreme Weather and Amazing Mighty Micro Monsters screen. Tomb Raider starts March 15. Pacific Rim Uprising 3D starts March 23. St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com. SUN-RAY CINEMA Black Panther and A Wrinkle in Time screen. Everything is Terrible! In Jacksonville! March 14. Thoroughbreds starts March 15. Check website for details. 1028 Park St., 359-0049, sunraycinema.com.
ARTS + EVENTS PERFORMANCE
DRASI AMOR A live poetry event, 8-11 p.m. March 15 at De Real Ting Cafe, 128 W. Adams St., Downtown, $5 before 9 p.m., $10 after. THE RELUCTANT DRAGON This teaches a valuable lesson about not making assumptions about others, 10 a.m. March 15 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $12 (no meal), alhambrajax.com. EMANCIPATION MAJIGEEN Before she was Anna Kingsley of the eponymous plantation on Ft. George Island, she was Anta Majigeen Njaay of Senegal. This original musical drama runs 8 p.m. March 15 & 16, 11 a.m. March 15 at FSCJ Kent Campus (Rm. F128), 3939 Roosevelt Blvd., $25 adult, $10 child, fscjartistseries.org. MY FAIR LADY Lerner & Loewe’s tale of societal snobbery and social climbing, with live orchestral accompaniment, opens 8 p.m. March 16 and runs through March 25 at Northeast Florida Conservatory, 11363 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 374-8639, $20, nfconservatory.org. MAN OF LA MANCHA “One man scorned and covered with scars still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars; and the world was better for this,” said Don Quixote. Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre weaves this play within a play (based on famous novel The Ingenious Nobleman Sir Quixote of La Mancha) 8 p.m. March 16, 17, 23 & 24 and 2 p.m. March 18 & 25 at Grage Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., $20, abettheatre.com. REACH FOR THE STARS Star-studded talent show with Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Goofy, 1 p.m. March 18 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Springfield, $15-$100, ticketmaster.com. NUNSENSE Accidental poisoning and a variety show; what’s more fun? The good sisters are on 7:30 p.m. March 15-17 and 2:30 p.m. March 18 at Amelia Musical Playhouse, 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina Beach, 277-3455, $20 adults, $15 students, ameliamusicalplayhouse.com. WOLF HALL Sympathy and fascination for social-climbing secretary and reformer Thomas Cromwell, Henry VIII’s chief minister. The tale has been said to open like “House of Cards” and end like “Game of Thrones.” 7:30 p.m. March 15; 8 p.m. March 16 & 17; 2 p.m. March 18 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., $25 general, $21 students/seniors/military, theatrejax.com. THE GREAT AMERICAN TRAILER PARK MUSICAL When Pippi, a stripper on the run, comes between the agoraphobic Jeannie and her tollbooth-collector husband, storms brew. 8 p.m. March 15-17, 22-24 and 2 p.m. March 18 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $28, $25 students/seniors/military, playersbythesea.org. LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS Runs 7:50 p.m. Tue.-Sun., 1:15 p.m. Sat. and 1:50 p.m. Sun. through March 25 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 641-1212, $38-$59, alhambrajax.com. NIGHT OF 1,000 JOAN CUSACKS A drag tribute by The Glitterbomb Show. Show up in your best Liz-wear, though we’re partial to Geek girl No. 1. 10:30 p.m. & midnight March 23 at Metro Entertainment Complex, 859 Willow Branch Ave., Riverside, $7, metrojax.com.
CLASSICAL + JAZZ
THE UNITED STATES ARMY FIELD BAND From Boston to Baghdad, Tampa to Toronto, thrilling audiences for more than 60 years. 7:30 p.m. March 14 at The Florida Theatre, free; registration required, floridatheatre.com. MILLION DOLLAR QUARTET The dazzling group, welp, dazzles 7:30 p.m. March 15 at T-U Center, Downtown, $27$62, ticketmaster.com. MOZART AND FRIENDS Ballet music from Mozart, Idomeneo, Rè di Creta, K.366; Tchaikovsky’s gorgeous, dance-imbued Serenade in C for Strings, Op. 48; Debussy’s Prelude to The Afternoon of a Faun and Symphony No. 39 in E-flat major, K.543 by Mozart are performed, 8 p.m. March 16 & 17 at T-U Center, Downtown, $19-$86, jaxsymphony.org. JONAH SOFA JAZZ SESSIONS With John Lumpkin & the Covenant, 7:30 p.m. March 15 at The Local, 4578 San Jose Blvd., 683-8063, thelocaljax.com. RICHARD STOLTZMAN & ALLEN VIZZUTTI Beaches Fine Arts Series presents the clarinetist and trumpeter, with the UNF Orchestra and the UNF Jazz Ensemble 1, 7:30 p.m. March 16 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Hall, Southside, free, beachesfinearts.org. SWING INTO SPRING Music by Crescendo Amelia, a gourmet meal and a tour of White Oak (yes, we’re there for the cheetahs, too), $200; $350/couple, at 581705 White Oak Rd., Yulee, whiteoakwildlife.org. FIRE AND GRACE Riverside Fine Arts presents violinist Edwin Huizinga and guitarist William Coulter as they connect elements of classical, folk and contemporary musical traditions from around the world, 8 p.m. March 16 at Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Riverside, 389-6222, $25, riversidefinearts.org. DOVER QUARTET The group, which swept the 2013 Banff International String Quartet Competition, performs warm, incisive music 5 p.m. March 18 at Historic Nassau County Courthouse, 416 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, $55, ameliaislandchambermusicfestival.com. N’KENGE Songs of African-American greats–Billie Holiday, Diana Ross, Leontyne Price, Beyoncé–played with the
Jacksonville Symphony, 8 p.m. March 23 & 24 at T-U Center, $19-$26, jaxsymphony.org. MATTHEW HALL The pianist performs every Thur., Fri. & Sat. at Corner Bistro/Glass Hat Piano Bar & Grill, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Southside, 619-1931. JACKSONVILLE JAZZ SOCIETY The group meets noon April 14 and every second Sat. at Wells Fargo Bldg., 1601 N. Main St., Jacksonville, 666-7562, jacksonvillejazzsociety.org.
MICHAEL COLYAR The comic is on 8 p.m. March 15-17; 10 p.m. March 17 at The Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, $28-$150, jacksonvillecomedy.com. RICK GUTIERREZ He discusses traditional family values and outlooks on marriage; 7:30 p.m. March 15-17; 9:45 p.m. March 16 & 17 at The Comedy Zone, 3103 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $18-$20, comedyzone.com. BRIAN GLOWACKI, DREW DUNN Glowacki takes the stage March 17 at The Comedy Club with Jackie Knight at Gypsy Cab Company’s Corner Bar, 828 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 461-8843, $12, thegypsycomedyclub.com. LAUGH LOUNGE A weekly showcase of funny NEFla folks is 8 p.m. March 17 at Dos Gatos, 123 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, creativeveins.com.
CALLS & WORKSHOPS
THE DR. JOANN CRISP-ELLERT FUND The fund supports art projects in the Oldest City that promote visual art appreciation or education. Proposals of $2,500-$5,000 accepted, deadline April 5, jaxcf.org. PROMENADE THE ALCAZAR To mark the 130th anniversary of Alcazar Hotel and Lightner’s 70th anniversary, submit original artworks inspired by the theme, Promenade the Alcazar. Deadline May 31, lightnermuseum.org/art-contest. NEW VOICES: YOUNG VOICES Players by the Sea has a New Voices program. Applicants 13-18 may submit a proposal and dialogue. Deadline March 16; playersbythesea.org/newvoices-young-voices.
ART WALKS + MARKETS
ST. AUGUSTINE AMPHITHEATRE FARMERS MARKET Live music, yoga (bring mat, water bottle), flowers, baked goods, art, artisan wares, local produce. 1340 A1A S., St. Augustine, 209-0367. RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local/regional art, produce and live music by Bryan Ernst, Folk Is People and Wingfield, 10 a.m. March 17. Held every Sat. under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. FERNANDINA BEACH MARKET PLACE Weekly market has farmers, growers and entrepreneurs selling locally grown goods. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. every Sat., North Seventh Street, historic district, fernandinabeachmarketplace.com. JACKSONVILLE FARMERS MARKET Open daily dawn to dusk, Beaver Street, as it’s known, is a real farmers market in every way. It’s the state’s oldest of its kind; there’s a gallery, and every snack you didn’t know you needed. 1810 W. Beaver St., Westside, 354-2821, jaxfarmersmarket.com.
ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM 2800 University Blvd. N., 256-7374, ju.edu. An opening reception for the exhibit Senior Thesis Projects is 5-7 p.m. March 29; the exhibit runs through April 25. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, flagler.edu. Four Channels, two sound installations by Olivia Block, run through April 14. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 29 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummermuseum.org. Art Adventures, Nature & Art, 10:30 a.m. March 17; $10 members, $15 nonmembers. A History of the 18th-Century Garden, 1:30 p.m. March 20; members free; nonmembers $10. In the Garden, through April 22. Thomas Hart Benton & the Navy, through June 3. Fields of Color, through Nov. 25. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. Lana Shuttleworth’s Nature Reconstructed through June 3. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., 366-6911, mocajacksonville.unf.edu. Pledges of Allegiance, a Public Flag-Raising Ceremony is 10 a.m. March 14; free; registration required, eventbrite.com. Call & Response, through April 1. Unverified, by collaborative artists Kahn & Selesnick, Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison, Lori Nix, Jojakim Cortis, Adrian Sonderegger, Jennifer B. Thoreson, Thomas Jackson, through March 25. Circumvolve: Narratives & Responses to Life Cycles, by UNF student artist-in-residence Rachel Huff Smith, through March 18. MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Cir., Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. Hands-on exhibit NANO shows basics of nanoscience and engineering, through June 17. Science Fiction, Science Future, through May 13. Little Learners, for preschoolers, is 9:30 a.m. March 14, $6, registration required.
THE 5 & DIME, A THEATRE COMPANY 112 E. Adams St., Downtown, the5anddime.org. This month’s artwork is Inside
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ARTS + EVENTS Out, a selection of works by mentally ill individuals, up through April 1, istillmatter.org. THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE 2 Independent Dr., The Landing, tacjacksonville.org. Markie Benevento’s A Healing Heart, exhibits. Siliva DeAraujo is March’s featured artist. BREW 5 POINTS 1024 Park St., 5 Points. Edison William exhibits Hallucinations in Madness, a psychedelic journey through outer space. FSCJ KENT CAMPUS GALLERY 3939 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside. MAIMS: Antisocial Media, works by Daniel A. Brown, on view. Instagram: the_real_daniel_brown. MAKERSPACE 333 N. Laura St., Main Library, jaxpubliclibrary.org. Banksy’s Haight Street Rat and Writing on the Walls, Visual Literacy through Street Culture, through April 14. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 1 Independent Dr., Downtown, southlightgallery.com. A collaborative art gallery exhibiting and selling works by professional regional artists. An opening reception for an exhibit of Doug Eng’s work is 6 p.m. March 16; featured in March and April. THE SPACE GALLERY 120 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, longroadprojects.com. Sum + Substance, works by Dustin Harewood, Hiromi Moneyhun, Christina Chandler and Elena Øhlander, is on view. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., staaa.org. Miniature Marvels, 2D and 3D works of art no larger than 12 inches on any side including the frame, and All County High School Art Show, are up through March. THE YELLOW HOUSE 577 King St., Riverside, yellowhouseart.org. (Re)Set the Table, works by eight artists, through March. WOLF & CUB 205 N. Laura St., Downtown, wolfandcubjax. com. Birds of a Feather, new works by Joseph Shuck, displays; proceeds benefit B.E.A.K.S.
AUTISM SYMPOSIUM The 10th annual event updates autism. Speakers are Dr. Alexander Kolevzon, Dr. Celine A. Saulnier, Dr. Connie Kasari and Dr. Nathan A. Call, 8 a.m.-5 p.m. March 14 at UNF, Southside, $75, wolfsonchildrens.org/autism. MEET MONICA DePAUL The Democratic hopeful for U.S. Congress District 4 discusses policy and change, 6:30 p.m. March 14 at Willowbranch Library, 2875 Park St., Riverside. Hosted by Stonewall Democratic Caucus of Duval County, facebook.com/events. COJ HISTORIC PRESERVATION PROCESS OVERVIEW If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t just add a bell tower on the southwest corner of your historic district building, learn about Certificates of Appropriateness and the city’s process for historic preservation. 6:30 p.m. March 15, Riverside Presbyterian Church, 849 Park St., free; registration required, eventbrite.com. RANDY WAYNE WHITE, JOHN HART Author White reads and signs copies of his 25th Doc Ford novel, Caribbean Rim, 7 p.m. March 15. Author Hart reads and signs copies of The Hush, 7 p.m. March 17 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach, 241-9026, bookmarkbeach.com. LOGGERS, GREENS, LEATHERBACKS, OH MY! Turtle species in NEFla are discussed, 1 p.m. March 16 at Anastasia State Park, St. Augustine, facebook.com/events. LIONS SEAFOOD FESTIVAL The 37th annual fest has tons of seafood, plus other fare, arts & crafts, live music–Catch the Groove, Those Guys Jazz, John Dickie & Collapsible B, Kate Keys Band, Valerie Smith & Liberty Pike, Billy Buchanan, Grapes of Roth, Gatorbone Trio, Florida State Bluegrass, Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizards–and kids’ zone, 3-9 p.m. March 16, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. March 17, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. March 18 at Francis Field, St. Augustine, $5, 829-1753, lionsfestival.com. ANDREW GILLUM CIVIL RIGHTS WALKING TOUR Gillum, gearing up for a governor’s run, discusses voting. Walk through sites significant to St. Augustine’s civil rights movement, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. March 17 at St. Paul AME Church, 85 MLK Ave., womensmarchwashingtonfl.com. The gubernatorial hopeful is on hand 6 p.m. March 19 at IBEW Local 177, 966 N. Liberty St., Springfield, 390-7001. SILENT MEDITATION RETREAT Pat Widergren leads a morning retreat, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. March 17 at Maitreya Kadampa Buddhist Center, 85 Sailfish Dr. E., Atlantic Beach, $25, meditationinjacksonville.org. SOCIETY OF MIXED MEDIA ARTISTS (SOMMA) Pastel artist Lyn Asselta shows how to paint with several media, 10 a.m. March 17 at Ponte Vedra Cultural Center, 50 Executive Way, sommartists.com. PERIOD TALKS IN THE PARK The collective Fierce Coast Folks collects period supplies for women in Duval County Jail, 2-4 p.m. March 18 at Riverside Park, 753 Park St., facebook.com/fiercecoastfolks. JAX WOMEN ARE RAD A discussion of what local women face starting businesses, 1-4 p.m. March 18 at Blue Jay Listening Room, 2457B S. Third St., Jax Beach, $30, 904tix.com. QUIT SMOKING Class is 2:30-3:30 p.m. March 20; meets every Tue. to April 24 at 2223 Oak St., Riverside, free; registration required, 482-0189.
ST. PATRICK’S DAY
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(All events on March 17 unless otherwise noted.) ROOT BALL The annual Greenscape of Jacksonville
fundraiser features music by Brendan Doherty and Philip Pan. Funds raised are used to replant trees damaged by stormwitch Irma. 6:30 p.m. at Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens, Northside, $130, 904tix.com. SEVENTH ANNUAL ST. PATRICK’S DAY FESTIVAL Folio Weekly and Barley Republic Public House present this St. Patty’s Day throwdown, with traditional Irish fare, beer and whiskey, and live music by The Wobbly Toms, Flatfoot, 6’10, Hoist the Colors, Jax Pipes & Drums and Mike Sullivan, 11 a.m.-11:59 p.m. at 48 Spanish St., St. Augustine, 547-2023, $5 entry, $5 VIP, barleyrepublic.com. ST. PADDY’S SKATE-O-RAMA A beer garden, food truck rally, “Pot-O-Gold” Sk8 Competition, iconic Sk8-Rock legends Agent Orange, The Atom Age, Concrete Criminals, Danka, Darkhorse Saloon and Flag on Fire are featured, noon-10 p.m. at Kona Skatepark, 8739 Kona Ave., Arlington, $25, ticketfly.com. To enter the competition, email cassidy@ konaskatepark.com. ST. PADDY’S PUNK PUKE PARTY Local rockers Swill, Grabbag, Gov Club, Discordant Generations and Single White Herpe & The Aids, 8 p.m. at Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside, $7, facebook.com/ nighthawksjax. ST. PAT’S ON THE ST. JOHNS Centered around Fionn MacCool’s at The Landing. Green beer, Irish dancers, food and drink specials (an Irish buffet), giveaways, bagpipers and green beads are featured. Live music by The Back in Time Band, The Blues Factor Band, Jig to a Milestone, Searson, JFRD Pipes & Drums and Rathkeltair; 10 a.m.; green fireworks over the St. Johns 10 p.m. Downtown, jacksonvillelanding.com. ST. PADDY’S DAY BLOCK PARTY Hosted by Crispy’s Springfield Gallery and Hyperion Brewing Company, with food and live music by Big John, Chelsea Michelle Band, Stone Clear, 3-11 p.m. at 1735 N. Main St., 661-1503, free, crispysspringfieldgallery.com. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB PARTY Ron Davis, Piper Lou Henningsen, Old Dog, Ron Davis & Friends, The Legacy Irish Dance Academy, Aisling Grove, Box 543, DJ Vito, Celtic Ring, Robby n’ Felix, Florida Mountaineers and Briteside perform. Ireland vs. England rugby is 10:45 a.m. 10 a.m. at 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, $10, culhanesirishpub.com. DONOVAN’S IRISH PUB Live music and green beer, 11 a.m.11:59 p.m. at 7440 U.S. 1, St. Augustine, 829-0000. FIONN MacCOOL’S NOCATEE The new outpost of the Irish venue features live music and green beer, 9 a.m. at 145 Hilden Rd., Ponte Vedra, 217-7021, fionnmacs.com. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB Two stages. Live music includes traditional Irish sounds and Smokestack, DJ El, Dirty Pete, Roger That and Silent Disco; till 2 a.m. at 514 First St. N., Jax Beach, lynchsirishpub.com. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB A great “hole-in-the-wall” pub, this bastion of Irishness at the beach is a worthwhile stop on rounds; 177 Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293. TJ’S IRISH PUB Described as “awesomely dingy” with “an easy-going vibe,” the Arlington bar is at 12020 Ft. Caroline Rd., 997-8944. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB The bands Paper City Hustlers, Mike Sullivan and Torlogh Burke perform. An oyster bar is featured. 48 Spanish St., St. Augustine, 810-1923, meehansirishpub.com. KING STREET BLOCK PARTY The Garage opens 11 a.m. with games, food and green beer. At noon, Ciaran Sontag and Matt Henderson play. Bearded Buffalo Brewing Company offers 35 local beers on tap, plus snacks. Rogue opens 11 a.m.; The Loft with DJ Josh Kemp, 5 p.m. Whiteway Deli offers classic sandwiches. King Street District is between College and Park streets, Riverside. WICKED BARLEY BREWING COMPANY Special release beer: Car Bomb, Russian Car Bomb, Pinch Me, Barrel Aged Wee Heavy, Green Mead Slushie. Live music by Wild Oaks Band, Robby & Felix, 11 a.m.-1 a.m. at 4100 Baymeadows Rd., Southside, 379-7099. ST. PATRICK’S DAY THROWDOWN Live music by Lilakk, Low Frequency Messiah, Scruffy Bum & the Fat Man, Silent/ Running, Defy the Tyrant, Blood Bath & Beyond and Auditory Armory, 4 p.m.-ish at Across the Street, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill, 683-4182. ST. PATRICK’S DAY FOOD TRUCK TAKEOVER The Happy Grilled Cheese, Eddis & Sons, Manny’s Cuban Food Truck, Delish Kebabs, Blazin Azn, Latin Soul, Sweeto Burrito, Fusion Food Truck, Treemendous BBQ, Son of a Butcher, Alma, Team Love Seafood, Le Petite Cheri, Nitrogen Creamery, Island Dream, Guanabana, Front Porch Kettle Corn and Funnel Cake Queen. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at Hemming Park, Downtown, facebook.com/events. ST. PADDY’S 10K & 5K Free T-shirt and free beer (ages 21 and up), start 8 a.m. March 18 at Evergreen Cemetery, 4535 Main St. N., Springfield; $30 for 10K or 5K; proceeds benefit Springfield Improvement Association & Archives. Register at 1stplacesports.com/stpaddys. _________________________________________ To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission, contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner; email firstname.lastname@example.org or mail 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Items run as space is available. Deadline noon Wed. for next Wed. printing.
FOLIO A+E : FILM
CATEGORY FIVE GARBAGE Canned ham is MORE ENTERTAINING than new Rob Cohen flick
nightclub. Casey emerges from a fistfight in ometimes you go to a movie that the finale with fewer facial bruises than she looks as spectacularly bad as The had when she started the fight. Over and over, Hurricane Heist because you hope— the bros reference a football play that has no with foolish optimism—that it’ll be just your significance, even metaphorically. There’s a kind of trash. Then you watch it. And you’re scene in which Casey is inside The Dominator, reminded most trash is not the good kind. with the windows closed, while Will is on top What you hoped would be campy fun is of a three-story roof. The wind is howling and actually a global disaster of a motion picture. guns are firing at them. He yells down to her. It’s not even so bad it’s good, which makes it She hears him perfectly. We roll our eyes. even worse. Then there are the winning exchanges Will (Toby Kebbell) is a meteorologist. of dialog: He chases storms in a custom-made truck Casey: I’m out of bullets. that he calls “The Dominator.” He’s one of Will: How’d that happen? those characters whose gut tells him an Casey: I shot them all. oncoming storm is going to be bigger than Some of this would be forgivable if the the experts think and, of course, turns out action and effects were stellar, but they are his gut is correct. Will’s brother, Breeze (Ryan Kwanten), lives in the fictional town not. Early in the film, Breeze rescues Casey by of Gulfport, Alabama, which is driving his car into danger and where a Category Five hurricane opening the door for her to get is heading. THE HURRICANE HEIST in. Not more than five minutes Gulfport is also the home later, Will rescues her the exact *MMM of a U.S. Treasury depository same way. Not earning high Rated PG-13 that holds $600 million in cash marks for originality here. The that’s about to be shredded. The rest of the action and effects are people in charge of ensuring the money is adequate but unimpressive, save for one scene destroyed are Casey (Maggie Grace) and her in which hubcaps are used as weapons. That partner Perkins (Ralph Ineson). Little does was cool. Casey know that Perkins and his team are For the record, please don’t interpret planning to use the storm as a cover to rob my description of The Hurricane Heist as the Treasury. Can Casey and the two brothers “trash” as dismissively disparaging. Director save the money and themselves as the Rob Cohen knows what kind of movie this hurricane barrels through Gulfport? Trust me, is—nobody’s going for Oscars here. And just you’ll never really care one way or the other. because it’s trash doesn’t mean it can’t be an Gaps of logic and reality abound. Will entertaining guilty pleasure–but this isn’t that never uses his windshield wipers in the kind of trash. driving rain. Sasha (Melissa Bolona), one of Dan Hudak the robbers, is dressed like she’s going to a email@example.com
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FOLIO A+E : ARTS Jason Woods is THOMAS CROMWELL
MAN IN ENGLAND I
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n the opening scene of the novel Wolf Hall, by Hilary Mantel, young Thomas Cromwell has been “felled by his father: knocked full length on the cobbles of the yard.” It is a brutal and disorientating start to the book that sympathetically humanizes the self-made Earl of Essex. From his love of animals (dogs, horses, hawks) to his love of God, and his incredibly nimble legal mind, Mantel recreates and imagines an extraordinary life. Cromwell’s journey winds from his father’s Putney smithy to rooms adjoining King Henry VIII’s own. His value was in his ability to get the result that the King wanted most from about 1525 until 1537: a divorce, a remarriage and thereby a son. Since its printing in 2009, Wolf Hall has been adapted for PBS’s Masterpiece Theatre, starring Mark Rylance in a career-defining role. Now, Theatre Jacksonville is mounting an iteration of Mike Poulton’s ambitious, 32-character (23-actor) adaptation, directed by William E.P. Davis. Jason Woods muses, “it is no small thing to want to son,” Woods notes, “and it is as if England’s other affairs do not exist.” Of the nuances in Cromwell’s persona (as presented in the novel), Woods said, “Character complexity feeds me.” And the idea of a person for whom the wound is only scabbed over is an idea that he explored in his one-man presentation of A Christmas Carol and explores here. The idea is that regret, or fear of it, can provide a lifetime of motivation. “If there is a weight, right or wrong, that I’ve given to my performance, it’s the human part of it, it’s the more tender conscience, the more sincere side of him.” In this production, much of Cromwell’s early years and the gruesome relationship with his father are eschewed. Excepting the glee with which many of the nobles proclaim his base and common beginnings; they spend a lot of time roaring about shoeing horses. In contrast, when Woods-as-Cromwell speaks, he imbues his words with the weight of a man who cannot speak freely, because of his social standing,
and because he deeply understands that there are international and generational implications to changes wrought in the King’s household. As courtiers trumpet about (and oh, the Duke of Norfolk is vile), Cromwell stays even-keeled, hands in pockets, a nice gestural nod to his position as a keeper of secrets, trying to think his way through the Gordian knot of problems with which King and country present him on a daily basis. But Cromwell is not without allies—his most ardent mentor is the man whose fall paved the way for his own rise, Cardinal Wolsey (who also rose from humble beginnings). Geoffrey King plays Wolsey with confidence and ribald humor. The Cardinal is magnanimous, “honeyed,” eventually broken. His insults are exquisite and crudely delightful in the way only nastiness delivered by a Prince of the Church can be. (With possible exception of the painful “flat-chested” jokes, which, in fairness, are a part of the novel and certainly reflect the misogyny of the time.) And his fall from the King’s grace foreshadows (as we know) the fall of almost
7:30 p.m. March 15, 8 p.m. March 16 & 17, 2 p.m. March 18, Theatre Jacksonville, San Marco, $21-$26, theatrejax.com
all the magnates and social-climbers by whom Henry VIII is surrounded. There are several deeply affecting moments in the play; among them is the utterance that strips Cromwell bare: His hoarsely whispered “I’ll never leave you,” to his wife Liz, just before she is taken by the sweating sickness. He stands with his back to the audience for just a moment, as the weight of the future seems to bear down on him. Too, his contentious relationship with Thomas More, played by Tyler Hammond, with smug restraint, then with pious pain, serves to (in many ways) define Cromwell as a compassionate yet unyielding man.
In the book, the physical violence of which Cromwell is capable (and has committed) is hinted at through Wolsey’s delectation of Cromwell’s imagined misbehavior. “Thomas, what have you done, monstrous servant … an abbess is with child—two, three abbesses. Oh, let me see, have you set fire to Whitfield?” So too is this capacity for violence jauntily referenced in the play, though affable Cromwell pushes boundaries, a sharpness is always roiling beneath the surface. His rage explodes in startling, rip-through-the-theater fashion when he’s confronting More. He’s attempting to get the former Master Secretary to sign an oath acknowledging Henry VIII as the head of the English church. The papist refuses, though he knows it will mean his head. But Cromwell cannot countenance losing an intellectual juggernaut—and a man he personally respects—dying because “everything he was brought up to believe, he believes still.” There is a famous Hans Holbein portrait of Cromwell (circa 1532-’34). In it, he’s squeezed into a corner, behind a table covered with a cloth, a book and writing implements. He does not look at the viewer, but to the side, and his is a face to inspire reticence. In the book, he’s told he looks like a “murderer.” For much of history, Cromwell has been portrayed if not exactly as a killer, as a man with a murderously dark heart. While there is undoubtedly duskiness on a heart that can plot to revenge himself upon enemies, sending them to the torturer, there is hopefulness as well; in this case, for a more equitable society through an Englishlanguage translation of the Bible (and the accompanying Martin Lutheran ideology that goes with it). Toward the finale, the utterly complex Cromwell speaks words that Woods shows real empathy for: “I don’t want this country to be like my father’s house in Putney, shouting and fighting all the time.”
Madeleine Peck Wagner firstname.lastname@example.org
MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27
FOLIO A+E : MUSIC Get the Led Out and fellow DRUMMIN’ MAN tribute acts celebrate,
RECREATE and even SATIRIZE their music heroes
28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
skill) is a given. After all, in today’s market, f imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, what music fan is going to shell out $30 to see tribute acts are the religious devotees of a beardless ZZ Top tribute band stumble, flub music make-believe. One part fan, one and hoarsely bark through a rousing rendition part simulacrum, these musicians progress of “Tube Snake Boogie”? Ditto verisimilitude: from playing in mere cover bands to forming If a white-jumpsuit-wearing ABBA tribute groups intent on recreating the music and four-piece drops a metal-break-and-freestyleeven personalities of their dearly beloved rap into the middle of “Waterloo,” suspension music messiahs. of disbelief is soon shattered. Google “tribute band” online and it’s This week, Get the Led Out returns to The apparent which artists are most emulated. Florida Theatre. The self-described “American Along with protean tribute acts like Elvis Led Zeppelin,” the Philly-based GTLO offer a Presley and The Beatles, artists like Michael mission statement on their site, to bring “The Jackson, ABBA, Queen, Pink Floyd, mighty Zep to life on the big concert stage. KISS, AC/DC, Ramones, Tom Petty & the This is not an impersonator act, but rather Heartbreakers and Van Halen are revealed, a group of musicians who were fans first, as is the almost inexorably named Amy striving to do justice to one of the greatest Housewine. Weirdly enough, few hip hop bands in rock history!” tribute acts seem to be working the scene, That’s a tall order to fill. The actual Led though there’s an alleged rap-tribute band Zeppelin quartet has sold an estimated 250 called Frontbutt out of Charlottesville, million-plus albums. Founding members Virginia who offer this world a rather Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, John Paul Jones boastful-albeit-vague website. and the late John Bonham are as iconic as The The tribute act domain is a place where Beatles and Rolling Stones. admiration, sentimentality, The collective genius of showmanship and (let’s GET THE LED OUT the four members of the not bullshit ourselves) 8 p.m. March 16, The Florida Theatre, band—like most great silliness all intersect. Downtown, $25-$45, floridatheatre.com groups, rock or otherwise— Parody is both common was in squeezing those if not encouraged. The separate personalities into one, trampling, Milwaukee, Wisconsin-born four-piece hard-rock wallop. Every night, Get the Led Beatallica has been mashing-up the music of Out band members are left with the unenviable The Beatles and Metallica for nearly 20 years. task of trying to breathe new life into those Zep While the group has received praise from songs in front of an audience that knows the Metallica, Beatallica was slapped with a ceasegenetic coding, twist and turn of every melody, and-desist by the Beatles’ publishing company lyric and Plant-scream of those very same in 2005, due to possible copyright violation. Once that legal wrangling was settled, tunes. The fact that half of those in attendance Beatallica was free to release its seminal 2007 are about half in the bag from beer and weed debut, Sgt. Hetfield’s Motorbreath Pub Band. doesn’t make those attempts at conjuring up Arguably, one of the more consistently “Kashmir” any easier. vibrant and evolving areas of the tribute act Right out of the gate, Get the Led Out community is the drag queen stage. There’s creates possible tribute act heresy with their a strong mix of adoration and comedy that audacious move to have a seven-member band: creates a big table, leaving room for standard vocalist Paul Sinclair, guitarists Paul Hammond tributes like Diana Ross & the Supremes and and Jimmy Marchiano, bassist Phil D’Agostino, The Spice Girls, as well as Joyce D’Vision, the keyboardist Andrew Lipke, drummer Adam first-ever Joy Division transvestitism tribute Ferraioli and backing vocalist Diana DeSantis. act. And while they’re not technically a drag Unlike their peer/possible nemesis (and queen band, honorable mention must go to heavily worded) ZoSo—The Ultimate Led GayC/DC—the Los Angeles-based band that Zeppelin Experience, Get the Led Out doesn’t injects some much-deserved playful, LGBTQ “dress up” as Led Zep or affect British accents. Judging by their YouTube presence, they don’t flavor into the hetero-dude-chest-thump of need to. They deliver the goods. That they the music of AC/DC. perform with a gigantic backline of amps Yet all of these groups provide a service surely does not hurt. as well as entertainment: The earthly Before you head to the gig, we offer a free population of folks who actually saw The Folio Weekly tip for you Get the Led Out Beatles perform is aging (or dead), but on attendees: While a request for “Stairway to any given night on this planet, some band Heaven” will be readily accepted, a shout-out is donning Fab Four gear and shaking their for “Freebird” will be greeted like a drug test dark-haired wigs to the groin-mesmerizing at a roadie’s parole party. rhythm of “Love Me Do.” Salacious. When a band is touring at the national— Daniel A. Brown even global—level, talent (or at least musical email@example.com
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (indeed) and sings the heavy stuff, too, as part of the “15 Years in the Making” tour with Falling in Reverse, A Day to Remember and Papa Roach 5:30 pm March 20, at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, $29-$52, staugustineamphitheatre.com.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK
LEELYNN OSBORN, LAURA HOPE 6 p.m. March 14, Prohibition Kitchen (ProhibitKitch), 119 St. George St., St. Augustine, prohibitionkitchenstaugustine.com, 209-5704. MATT HENDERSON 9 p.m. March 14, Surfer the Bar (Surfer), 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 372-9756, surfer thebar.com. AMPLE ANGST, DAVE EGGAR 8 p.m. March 15, Blue Jay Listening Room (BlueJay), 2457B S. Third St., Jax Beach, bluejay.com, $20. IYA TERRA 8 p.m. March 14, 1904 Music Hall (1904MH), 19 Ocean St. N., Downtown, 345-5760, 1904musichall. com, $10. MILLION DOLLAR QUARTET 7:30 p.m. March 15, T-U Center, $22-$62. LYNDIE BURRIS 6 p.m. March 15, Boondocks Grill & Bar, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove Springs, 406-9497, boondocksrocks.com. ANTHONY RANERI 7 p.m. March 15, 1904MH, $14-$17. MOJO UNPLUGGED 7:30 p.m. March 15, Whiskey Jax (WhiskeyJB/Bay), 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 853-5973. KATASTRO, TROPIDELIC 8 p.m. March 15, Jack Rabbits (JackRabbs), 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, jaxlive.com. $10. EASY STAR ALL STARS 9 p.m. March 15, ProhibitKitch, $20. LARRY MANGUM & the COWBOY ORCHESTRA 7 p.m. March 15, Mudville Music Room (Mudville), 3104 Atlantic Blvd., St. Nicholas, 352-7008, raylewispresents.com, $10. MIKE LOVE, JUNGLE MAN SAM 8 p.m. March 16, 1904MH, $20-$25. YOWSA 8:30 p.m. March 16, WhiskeyJB. TRAIL DRIVER 9 p.m. March 16, Surfer. ASHTON TAYLOR, SOULS of JOY, PAUL IVEY 7 p.m. March 16, Boondocks. SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY 8 p.m. March 16, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park (SpiritSuwannee), 3076 95th Dr., Live Oak, 386-364-1683, musicliveshere.com. BERNARD JAZZ TRIO, CHILLULA 6 p.m. March 16, ProhibitKitch. JOE JENCKS 7 p.m. March 16, Mudville, $10. FOREIGNER, DAVE EGGAR ORCHESTRA 8 p.m. March 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre (StAugAmp), 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, st.augustineamphitheatre.com, $44-$104. CASSIDY LEE, JULIA GULIA 6 p.m. March 16, Cheers (Chrs), 1138 Park Ave., Orange Park, 269-4855, cheersparkave.com, $2. PROBABLE CAUSE 9 p.m. March 16, Whiskey Bay. JO SMITH 8 p.m. March 16, BlueJay, $25. STEVE HOFSTETTER 8 p.m. March 16, JackRabbs, $20. HOTEL EXPERIENCE: A Salute to the EAGLES 8 p.m. March 16, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts (ThrshHrnCtr), 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, thcenter.org, $29+. NAHKO, The LATE ONES, XIUHTEZCATL 7:30 p.m. March 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall (PVCHall), 1050 A1A N., pvconcerthall.com, $31.50-$35. GET the LED OUT 8 p.m. March 16, The Florida Theatre (FlaThtr), 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com, $25-$45.
RANDALL BRAMBLETT 8 p.m. March 17, BlueJay, $30. FAT CACTUS 8 p.m. March 17, WhiskeyBay. MATT KNOWLES, HARD 2 HANDLE 7 p.m. March 17, Boondocks. BELLE & the BAND, SMOKESTACK, DENTON ELKINS 6 p.m. March 17, ProhibitKitch. CHRIS THOMAS BAND 8:30 p.m. March 17, WhiskJB. CHILLULA 9 p.m. March 17, Surfer. DISCORDANT GENERATION, SWILL, GRABBAG, SINGLE WHITE HERPE, The AIDS 6 p.m. March 17, Nighthawks, 2952 Roosevelt Blvd., Riverside. JULIA GULIA 9 p.m. March 17, Chrs, $2. 1964 The TRIBUTE 8 p.m. March 17, StAugAmp, $34.50-$54.50. Salt Life Fest: ELLAMENO BEAT, The CORBITT BROTHERS, TREEHOUSE!, SIMPLIFIED, OF GOOD NATURE, KUNG FU Noon March 17, SeaWalk Pavilion, Jax Beach, saltlifefest.com, free, $20 VIP. The WOBBLY TOMS, FLATFOOT, 6’10, HOIST the COLORS, JAX PIPES & DRUMS, MIKE SULLIVAN 11 a.m. March 17, Barley Republic Public House, 48 Spanish St., St. Augustine, 547-2023, barleyrepublic.com, $5 entry, $45 VIP. AGENT ORANGE, The ATOM AGE, CONCRETE CRIMINALS, DANKA, DARKHORSE SALOON, FLAG on FIRE Noon March 17, Kona Skatepark, 8739 Kona Ave., Arlington, ticketfly.com, $25. The BACK in TIME BAND, The BLUES FACTOR BAND, JIG to a MILESTONE, SEARSON, JFRD PIPES & DRUMS 11 a.m. March 17, Jax Landing, jacksonvillelanding.com. BIG JOHN, CHELSEA MICHELLE BAND, STONE CLEAR 3 p.m. March 17, Crispy’s Springfield Gallery, 1735 N. Main St., 661-1503, crispysspringfieldgallery.com, free. RON DAVIS, PIPER LOU HENNINGSEN, OLD DOG, AISLING GROVE, BOX 543, DJ VITO, CELTIC RING, ROBBY N’ FELIX, FLORIDA MOUNTAINEERS, BRITESIDE 10 a.m. March 17, Culhane’s, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com, $10. SMOKESTACK, DJ EL, DIRTY PETE, ROGER THAT, SILENT DISCO 11 a.m. March 17, Lynch’s, 514 First St. N., Jax Beach, lynchsirishpub.com. PAPER CITY HUSTLERS, MIKE SULLIVAN, TORLOGH BURKE 11 a.m. March 17, Meehan’s Irish Pub, 48 Spanish St., St. Augustine, 810-1923, meehansirishpub.com. WILD OAKS BAND, ROBBY & FELIX 11 a.m. March 17, Wicked Barley Brewing, 4100 Baymeadows, 379-7099. CIARAN SONTAG, MATT HENDERSON Noon March 17, The Garage, 2692 Post St., Riverside, 374-2581. LILAKK, LOW FREQUENCY MESSIAH, SCRUFFY BUM & the FAT MAN, SILENT/RUNNING, DEFY the TYRANT, BLOOD BATH & BEYOND, AUDITORY ARMORY 4 p.m. March 17, Across the Street, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill, 683-4182. WALKER BROTHERS, OLD DAWGS NEW TRIXX 7 p.m. March 17, Mudville, $10. AYO & TEO 6 p.m. March 17, FlaThtr, $30-$65. FLIPTURN, GLASS HOUSE POINT, ASTER & IVY, SOUTH POINT 8 p.m. March 17, JackRabbs, $8. TIFFANY 8 p.m. March 17, PVCHall, $33-$63.50. COREY SMITH, The WILSON BROTHERS BAND 8 p.m. March 17, Mavericks Live (Mavericks), Jax Landing,
356-1110, $20. SPRING ST. AUGUSTINE RECORD FAIR 11 a.m. March 18, StAugAmp, free. CHELSEA SADDLER, BOTTOM FEEDERS, DOWNTOWN TOP RANKIN 2 p.m. March 18, ProhibitKitch. JAX WOMEN ARE RAD 1-4 p.m. March 18, BlueJay, $35. SOULO LYON 9 p.m. March 18, Surfer. PRO BONO 8:30 p.m. March 18, WhiskeyJB. ALICE COOPER March 18, FlaThtr The WILLOWWACKS, TREV BARNES 6 p.m. March 19, ProhibitKitch. A DAY to REMEMBER, PAPA ROACH, FALLING in REVERSE, The DEVIL WEARS PRADA 5 p.m. March 20, StAugAmp, $29-$52. TREVOR BARNES 9 p.m. March 20, Surfer. VINYL THEATRE, VESPERTEEN 7 p.m. March 20, JackRabbs, $15. ASLYN & the NAYSAYERS, JORY LYLE 6 p.m. March 20, ProhibitKitch. MIKE & the MECHANICS 8 p.m. March 21, PVCHall, $63-$73. The EXPANDERS, SENSAMOTION, DUBBEST 9 p.m. March 21, Surfer, $10-$15, eventbrite.com. WALTER SALAS-HUMARA 7 p.m. March 21, Mudville, $10. MAKARI, ADVENTURER, DIGDOG, SKYVIEW, MODEST IMAGES 8 p.m. March 21, JackRabbs, $8.
MARK JOHNS March 22, Boondocks LUKE PEACOCK March 22, Mudville PAUL MILLER, STAN PIPER, STEFAN KLEIN March 22, BlueJay VOX March 22, WhiskeyJB BUMPIN’ UGLIES, CLOUD9 VIBES March 22, JackRabbs FAT CACTUS March 22, Chrs INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, JIM LAUDERDALE, QUARTERMON, LARRY KEEL EXPERIENCE, DAVID BROMBERG QUINTET, DONNA the BUFFALO, DAR WILLIAMS March 22-25, SpiritSuwannee SHANE MYERS March 23, Chrs TOP SHELF March 23, WhiskeyBay EL DUB March 23, Surfer PARTY CARTEL March 23, WhiskeyJB MARTY FARMER, BARRETT THOMPSON March 23, Boondocks KALEIGH BAKER, MATT WALKER March 23, BlueJay ESHAM March 23, NightHwks RODNEY CARRINGTON March 23, FlaThtr ROSE ROYCE, LENNY WILLIAMS, GLENN JONES, SHIRLEY MURDOCK, DENIECE WILLIAMS, REGINA BELLE March 24, T-UCenter’s Moran Theater JUVENILE, TOO-SHORT, SCARFACE, TRINA, UNCLE LUKE, 8BALL, MIG March 24, VetsMemArena THE GINGER BEARD MAN March 24, WhiskeyBay MATT KNOWLES March 24, Boondocks The FALLEN SONS March 24, JackRabbs GOOD TIME CHARLIE March 24, WhiskeyJB SAILOR JANE & the SWELL, The BAND BE EASY March 25, ProhibitKitch DWIGHT & NICOLE March 24, BlueJay
MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC
30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
ERIC COLETTE & BAND March 24, Boondocks BOOKER T. JONES March 25, PVCHall LANCE NEELY, The WILLOW ACKS, DOWNTOWN TOP RANKIN March 25, ProhibitKitch NEW ROCK SOUL March 25, Surfer GLASS CAMELS March 25, WhiskeyJB SUNSQUABI, EXMAG, MZG March 25, 1904MH WATAIN, DESTROYER666, NEXUL March 25, Mavericks THREE DOG NIGHT, The LORDS of 52nd STREET March 25, FlaThtr COLTON TRIO, GO GET GONE March 27, ProhibitKitch AARON THOMAS March 27, Surfer FORTUNATE YOUTH, BALLYHOO, TATANKA March 28, Mavericks SAM HERB, GO GET GONE March 28, WhiskeyJB JACK RINGCA, JODI MOSELEY March 28, BlueJay RYAN CAMPBELL March 28, Surfer The FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL March 29, Cheers BRIAN ERNST, HIT PARADE March 29, ProhibitKitch PAUL IVEY March 29, Boondocks An Evening with The MAVERICKS March 29, PVCHall LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III, LUCY WAINWRIGHT ROCHE March 30, PVCHall MONKEY WRENCH March 30, Whiskey Jax, Baymeadows DANGERMUFFIN March 30, Mudville PEACHES AND MINK March 30, Sun-Ray Cinema SIDEWALK 65 March 30, WhiskeyJB UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER, NEW DAY March 30, Mavericks TOP SHELF PEOPLE, SIDE HUSTLE, TOM BENNETT BAND March 30, JackRabbs MORNING FATTY March 30, Surfer 7 STREET BAND March 31, WhiskeyBay KYLE JENNINGS, KEVIN POST March 31, BlueJay CLOUD 9 VIBES March 31, WhiskeyJB RESINATED March 31, Surfer SALT AND PINE, The FIREWATER TENT REVIVAL March 31, ProhibitKitch ERIC LINDELL March 31, MojoKitchen RYAN DEPALO, PETER MICHAEL, MARK O’QUINN March 31, JackRabbs YOUNG DOLPH, DJs PRETTY RICKY, SWAGG, LAY April 1, Mavericks BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE, The BELLE GAME April 1, PVCHall MY OLD LADY, 2FY OCTOPI, BLACK SPHERE, ENTROPY, DESERT ISLAND April 1, 1904MH LONELY HEARTSTRING BAND April 4, Café11 MACHINE GIRL, CHARLIE VELOURS April 4, ShantyTown JUNCO ROYALS April 4, BlueJay HAWKTAIL April 5, Café11 BUDDY GUY, JIMMIE VAUGHAN, QUINN SULLIVAN April 5, FlaThtr The BAILSMEN April 5, BlueJay PRESSURE BUSS PIPE, BLACK DIAMOND BAND April 6, Mavericks EVE to ADAM April 6, 1904MH HANK WILLIAMS JR. April 6, StAugAmp HAWKTAIL April 6, BlueJay TOMMY EMMANUEL, ANTHONY SNAPE April 6 & 7, PVCH SETH WALKER April 7, Mudville SPRINGING the BLUES Afterparty April 7, MojoKitchen DWIGHT YOAKAM, WILLIAM MICHAEL MORGAN, CHARLES ESTEN April 8, Dailys THAT 1 GUY April 8, JackRabbs ALL TIME LOW, GNASH, DREAMERS April 10, Mavericks TINA & HER PONY April 11, BlueJay COREY KILGANNON, OH JEREMIAH April 12, BlueJay STYX, DON FELDER April 13, StAugAmp AMANDA SHIRES & Her Band April 13, PVCHall CHRIS BOTTI April 13, FlaThtr PINEBOX DWELLERS April 13, BlueJay ANDY JONES, JASON EVANS BAND April 13, Cheers The BLACK ANGELS, BLACK LIPS April 14, Backyard Stage, StAugAmp NEON WHISKEY April 14, Cheers The WAILERS, ZANDER April 14, PVCHall The REVIVALISTS April 14, FlaThtr The BEACH BOYS April 15, StAugAmp DESCENDENTS April 15, Mavericks JERSEY BOYS April 15, Thrsh-HrnCtr DR. DOG, KYLE CRAFT, SON LITTLE, ALEX G April 15, PVCH BIG SEAN, SHY GLIZZY, PLAYBOI CARTI, GASHI April 15, Dailys The LONE BELLOW April 16, PVCHall One Night of Queen: GARY MULLEN & the WORKS April 17, PVCHall GLEN PHILLIPS April 18, Café11 BRIAN CULBERTSON April 18, FlaThtr Wanee Wednesday: JIMI MEETS FUNK, ROOSEVELT COLLIER TRIO, BEN SPARACO & the NEW EFFECT, JUKE, BONNIE BLUE April 18, SpiritSuwannee ROGER THAT April 19, Cheers BRUCE COCKBURN April 19, PVCHall SCOTT BRADLEE’S Postmodern Jukebox April 19, FlaThtr Wanee 2018: WIDESPREAD PANIC, PHIL LESH & the TERRAPIN FAMILY BAND, As The CROW FLIES, DARK STAR ORCHESTRA, ST. PAUL & the BROKEN BONES, JAIMOE’S JASSZ BAND, The CHRIS ROBINSON BROTHERHOOD, NORTH MISSISSIPPI ALLSTARS, KARL DENSON’S TINY UNIVERSE, SONNY LANDRETH, The MARCUS KING BAND, GEORGE PORTER JR. & the RUNNING PARDNERS, LES BROS, BOBBY LEE ROGERS TRIO, BIG SOMETHING, BERRY OAKLEY’S INDIGENOUS SUSPECTS, CRAZY FINGERS April 19-21, SpiritSuwannee THOMAS RHETT, BRETT YOUNG, CARLY PEARCE April
20, Dailys TRAE PIERCE & the T-STONES April 20, ProhibitKitch CHRIS TOMLIN, KIM WALKER-SMITH, MATT MAHER, CHRISTINE D’CLARIO, TAUREN WELLS, PAT BARRETT April 20, VetsMemArena RICKY SCAGGS, KENTUCKY THUNDER April 20, PVCHall JOHN MULANEY April 20, FlaThtr ESSELS, MYSTIC GRIZZLY, LURK CITY, AFTERCITIES, REST in PIERCE, ROCKS n BLUNTS, XOFF, RICHIE GRANT, JULIAN M, BENNY BLACK April 20, 1904MH LIL BOOSIE April 21, Mavericks MODEST MOUSE April 21, StAugAmp ABRAHAM PARTRIDGE April 21, BlueJay OLD 97’s, JAMIE WYATT April 22, PVCHall AMUSE April 22, ShanghaiNobbys HUEY LEWIS & the NEWS, RICHARD MARX April 22, StAugAmp DAVID FOSTER April 24, FlaThtr 10,000 MANIACS April 25, PVCHall JOHNNY MATHIS April 26, FlaThtr OZZY OSBOURNE, FOO FIGHTERS, AVENGED SEVEN FOLD, QUEENS of the STONE AGE, POP EVIL, PALAYE ROYALE, BLACK MAP, BILLY IDOL, FIVE FINGER DEATH PUNCH, GODSMACK, STONE SOUR, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, AVATAR April 27-29, Metro Park BLACK JACKET SYMPHONY, JACKSONVILLE ROCK SYMPHONY: Sgt. Pepper’s 50th Anniversary Tour April 27, FlaThtr SOUTHERN BURN BAND April 27, SpiritSuwannee CASSIDY LEE, WILDFIRE RISING April 27, Cheers ALAN PARSONS PROJECT, CARL PALMER April 28, FlaThtr TOMMY TALTON April 28, BlueJay CHRISTINA BIANCO April 28, UNF’s Lazzara Hall VICTOR WOOTEN, SINBAD, REGI WOOTEN, ROY WOOTEN, BOB FRANCESCHINI May 1, PVCHall Suwannee River Jam: ALAN JACKSON, JOSH TURNER, LOCASH, EASTON CORBIN, TYLER FARR, RODNEY ATKINS, The LACS, KENTUCKY HEADHUNTERS, WILLIAMS & REE May 2-5, SpiritSuwannee JERRY SEINFELD May 3, T-UCenter LITTLE BIG TOWN, KACEY MUSGRAVES, MIDLAND May 4, StAugAmp TODRICK HALL May 4, PVCHall GYPSY STAR May 4, Mudville SKILLET, FOR KING & COUNTRY May 4, Dailys ZACK DEPUTY May 4, ProhibitKitch HERB ALPERT, LANI HALL May 4, FlaThtr JIM MURDOCK, CITY of BRIDGES May 4, Cheers Gamble Rogers Music Festival: PETER ROWAN, VERLON THOMPSON, MEAN MARY, VERONIKA JACKSON, BRIAN SMALLEY, PASSERINE, SAM PACETTI, The STARLIGHT TRIO, The ADVENTURES of ANNABELL LYNN, BELL & the BAND, RED & CHRIS HENRY’S ALLSTAR BAND, WILD SHINERS, FLAGSHIP ROMANCE, The OBSCURE BROTHERS, BRIAN SMALLEY, The ASHLEY GANG REUNION, REMEDY TREE, ROTAGEEZER, BELMONT & JONES May 4-6, Colonial Quarter, St. Augustine OLD CROW MEDICINE SHOW May 5, T-UCtr The NATIONAL, BIG THIEF May 5, StAugAmp KRIS KRISTOFFERSON May 6, FlaThtr The GIPSY KINGS, NICOLAS REYES, TONINO BALIARDO May 6, StAugAmp VANCE JOY May 8, StAugAmp JAMES TAYLOR & His All-Star Band, BONNIE RAITT & Her Band May 8, VetsMemArena RUBEN STUDDARD Luther Vandross Tribute May 9, FlaThtr JOE BONAMASSA May 10, StAugAmp
TEMPLES May 10, JackRabb POST MALONE, 21 SAVAGE May 10, Dailys OZONEBABY May 11 & 12, Cheers REBECCA LONG BAND May 11, Mudville The WONDER YEARS, TIGERS JAW, TINY MOVING PARTS, WORRIERS May 11, Mavericks STEVE FORBERT May 12, Mudville The PAUL THORN BAND May 12, PVCHall CHOIR of BABBLE May 12, RainDogs MARC COHN & His Trio May 13, PVCHall STEELY DAN, The DOOBIE BROTHERS May 13, Dailys BAHAMAS May 14, PVCHall OH WONDER, ASTRONOMYY May 15, PVCHall ODESZA May 16, Dailys BUCKETHEAD May 16, PVCHall BLISTUR May 18, Cheers CHAD PRATHER May 18, PVCHall The STEELDRIVERS May 18, ProhibitKitch STEVE EARLE & the DUKES, The MASTERSONS May 19, PVCHall DAVID CROSBY, JAMES RAYMON, MAI AGAN, STEVE DISTANISLAO, JEFF PEVAR, MICHELLE WILLIS May 27, PVCHall 4 Your Eyez Only World Tour: J. COLE June 2, Mavericks JOHN FOGERTY, ZZ TOP June 5, StAugAmp The ASSOCIATION, The TURTLES, CHUCK NEGRON, GARY PUCKETT, MARK LINDSAY, The COWSILLS June 7, FlaThtr ORDINARY BOYS June 9, 1904MH PARAMORE, FOSTER the PEOPLE June 12, StAugAmp LA LUZ, TIMOTHY EERIE June 14, Root Down SALT N PEPA, SPINDERELLA, KID ’N PLAY, COOLIO, TONE LOC, THEA AUSTIN, C&C MUSIC FACTORY, FREEDOM WILLIAMS June 16, StAugAmp BRIT FLOYD Eclipse June 17, FlaThtr REBELUTION, STEPHEN MARLEY, COMMON KINGS, ZION I, DJ MACKLE June 24, StAugAmp TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND, DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS, MARCUS KING BAND June 29, Dailys THIRTY SECONDS to MARS, WALK the MOON, MISTERWIVES, JOYWAVE July 1, Dailys Interactive Introverts World Tour: DAN & PHIL July 5, StAugAmp BARENAKED LADIES, BETTER THAN EZRA, KT TUNSTALL July 6, StAugAmp COHEED & CAMBRIA, TAKING BACK SUNDAY July 8, Dailys SLIGHTLY STOOPID, PEPPER, STICK FIGURE July 19, StAugAmp OAK RIDGE BOYS July 20, Thrsh-HrnCtr The STEVE MILLER BAND, PETER FRAMPTON July 20, StAugAmp CHICAGO, REO SPEEDWAGON July 22, Dailys DON McCLEAN July 27, PVCHall DISPATCH, NAHKO & MEDICINE for the PEOPLE, RAYE ZARAGOZA July 29, StAugAmp Vans Warped Tour: 30H!3, The INTERRUPTERS, KNUCKLE PUCK, MAYDAY PARADE, REEL BIG FISH, STATE CHAMPS, THIS WILD LIFE, WATERPARKS, ISSUES, LESS THAN JAKE, THE MAINE, MOVEMENTS, REAL FRIENDS, SIMPLE PLAN, TONIGHT ALIVE, WE the KINGS, The AMITY AFFLICTION, CHELSEA GRIN, DEEZ NUTS, ICE NINE KILLS, KUBLAI KHAN, MYCHILDREN MYBRIDE, TWIZTID, AUGUST BURNS RED, CROWN the EMPIRE, DAYSEEKER, EVERY TIME I DIE, IN HEARTS WAKE, MOTIONLESS in WHITE, AS IT IS, ASSUMING WE SURVIVE, CAPSTAN, GRAYSCALE, MAKEOUT, PALAYE ROYALE, SLEEP on IT, STORY UNTOLD, TRASH
Indigenous rapper and activist XIUHTEZCATL says his music is a tool for resistance. He and The Late Ones perform with Nahko, 7:30 p.m. March 16 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, $31.50-$35,pvconcerthall.com.
LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC BOAT, WITH CONFIDENCE, FAREWELL WINTERS, LIGHTERBURNS Aug. 2, Old Cypress Lot near Met Park O.A.R. Aug. 5, Dailys JASON MRAZ, BRETT DENNAN Aug. 17, Dailys LINDSEY STIRLING, EVANESCENCE Aug. 20, Dailys JEFF BECK, PAUL RODGERS, ANN WILSON Aug. 23, Dailys SUWANNEE ROOTS REVIVAL Oct. 11-14, SpiritSuwannee GENE WATSON Oct. 13, PVCHall STEEP CANYON RANGERS Oct. 14, FlaThtr Farewell Yellow Brick Road Tour: ELTON JOHN March 15, VetsMemArena
LIVE MUSIC CLUBS
AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA
THE SALTY PELICAN, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811 Lyle Rickards, Davis Turner March 17. Chris Underdal, Kevin Ski March 18. Hupp & Ray March 22 SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 King Eddie & Pili Pili 6 p.m. March 14. Tad Jennings March 15. Hupp March 16. Jamie Renee March 17. Lucas V, Charlotte P March 18. Mark O’Quinn March 20
CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. Jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free Tue. & Thur. Indie dance Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance Fri.
(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) ATLANTIC BEACH Brewing Co., 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3 & 15, 372-4116 Sol Rydah 8 p.m. March 17 BLUE JAY Listening Room, 412 N. Second St., 834-1315 Ample Angst, Dave Eggar 8 p.m. March 15. Jo Smith March 16. Randall Bramblett March 17. Jax Women Are Rad March 18. Danielle Mohr March 21 CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Ron Davis, Piper Lou Henningsen, Old Dog, Ron Davis & Friends, Aisling Grove, Box 543, DJ Vito, Celtic Ring, Robby N’ Felix, Florida Mountaineers, Briteside 9 a.m. March 17 FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680 Don’t Call Me Shirley 10 p.m. March 16 & 17 GREEN ROOM Brewing, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 Matt Henderson March 16. Michael C March 17 GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925 Groov 7:30 p.m. Wed. Michael Smith Thur. Milton Clapp Fri. Under the Bus Sat. Robert Eccles Sun. LYNCH’S Irish Pub, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Roshambeaux 10 p.m. March 16. Smokestack, DJ El, Dirty Pete, Roger That, Silent Disco; 11 a.m. March 17 MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., NB, 249-5573 Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford, Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. Mezza Shuffle every Mon. Trevor Tanner every Tue. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877 Pat Rose March 14. Jetty Cats March 15. Austin Park March 16. Lunar Coast March 17. Decoy March 18. Billy Bowers 7 p.m. March 21 SEACHASERS, 831 First St. N., 372-0444 Side Hustle 9 p.m. March 16 SURFER the Bar, 200 First St. N., 372-9756 Matt Henderson 9 p.m. March 14. Trail Driver March 16. Chillula March 17. Soulo Lyon March 18. Trevor Barnes March 20. The Expanders, Sensamotion, Dubbest March 21 WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973 Mojo Unplugged March 15. Yowsah March 16. Chris Thomas Band March 17. Pro Bono March 18. Gunners Band March 20. Acoustic Women every Wed.
1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N., 345-5760 Iya Terra 8 p.m. March 14. Anthony Raneri 7 p.m. March 15. Mike Love, Jungle Man Sam March 16 DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 DJ Brandon every Thur. DJ NickFresh every Sat. DJ Randall every Mon. DJ Hollywood every Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, 374-1247 Jig to a Milestone 11 a.m., Searson 3 p.m., JFRD Pipes & Drums 7 p.m., Rathkeltair 9 p.m. March 17. Austin Park March 20 JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 353-1188 Back in Time Band 4 p.m., Irish Dancers 7 p.m., The Blues Factor Band 9 p.m. March 17. DJ Kevin Tos 2 p.m., Smokestack 6 p.m. March 18 MAVERICKS LIVE, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Corey Smith, The Wilson Brothers Band March 17. Watain March 25 MYTH Nightclub, 333 E. Bay St., 707-0474 Sorce, Xander, DJ Q-45, Inner G, Twisted T, Sublo March 16. Saeed Younan, Carlos Mendoza, Mike Shea, Double L, Tyler Kirby March 17. Gawp, Aurakill, KT Swanson, Two Wolves March 18
BOONDOCKS, 2808 Henley Rd., Green Cove, 406-9497 Lyndie Burris 6 p.m. March 15. Ashton Taylor, Souls of Joy, Paul Ivey March 16. Matt Knowles, Hard 2 Handle March 17. Mark Johns March 22. Marty Farmer March 23 WHITEY’S Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Sun Jammers 9 p.m. March 16. Jinxx 9 p.m. March 17. Jimi Graves March 18
CLIFF’S, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Bluff 5 Band March 14. Vegas Grey March 16. Jason Evans Band March 17 JERRY’S, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Boogie Freaks 8:30 p.m. March 16. Retro Katz 8:30 p.m. March 17 KONA SKATE PARK, 8739 Kona Ave., 725-8770 Concrete Criminals, Darkhorse Saloon, Flag on Fire, Danka, Agent Orange, The Atom Age March 17
ENZA’S, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 109, 268-4458 Brian Iannucci March 14 & 18 IGGY’S Seafood Shack, 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 209-5209 Smooth McFlea March 16 TAPS Bar & Grill, 2220 C.R. 210, St. Johns, 819-1554 Stu Weaver March 14. Red Level March 16. The George Aspinall Band March 17
OVERSET ___________________________________ __ To list your band’s gig, please send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price, and a contact number to print to Madeleine Peck Wagner, email madeleine@folioweekly. com or by the U.S. Postal Service, 45 W. Bay St., Ste. 103, Jacksonville FL 32202. Events run on a space-available basis. Deadline is at noon every Wednesday for the next Wednesday’s publication.
ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG
CHEERS Park Avenue, 1138 Park Ave., 269-4855 Cassidy Lee, Julia Gulia 6 p.m. March 16. Julia Gulia 9 p.m. March 17. Fat Cactus March 22 DALTON’S, 2620 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 17, 282-1564 Zeb Padgett 8 p.m. March 17 DEE’S Music Bar, 2141 Loch Rane Blvd., Ste. 140, 375-2240 Fratello 9 p.m. March 17 The HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael on the piano every Tue.-Sat. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 The Mike Freund Band 8 p.m. March 17
Restaurant MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797 Ace Winn 7 p.m. March 14 & 21 TABLE 1, 330 A1A, 280-5515 Cortnie Frazier March 14. Barrett Jockers March 15. Cronin March 16. Kevin Ski March 17. Hello Celia & the Flood March 21
ACROSS the STREET, 948 Edgewood S., 683-4182 A Brilliant Lie, A Matter of Honor March 15. Lilakk, Low Frequency Messiah, Scruffy Bum & the Fat Man, Silent/ Running, Defy the Tyrant, Blood Bath & Beyond, Auditory Armory 4 p.m. March 17 The GARAGE, 2692 Post St., 374-2581 Ciaran Sontag, Matt Henderson noon March 17 NIGHTHAWKS, 2952 Roosevelt Discordant Generation, Swill, Grabbag, Single White Herpe, The Aids 6 p.m. March 17. Dead Meadow March 18. Esham March 23 RIVERSIDE Arts Market, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Bryan Ernst, Folk is People, Wingfield March 17
BARLEY REPUBLIC, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023 The Wobbly Toms, Flatfoot, 6’10, Hoist the Colors, Jax Pipes & Drums, Mike Sullivan 11 a.m. March 17 MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Southern Ruckus 9 p.m. March 17. Jax English Salsa Band 6 p.m. March 18 MEEHAN’S Irish Pub, 48 Spanish St., 810-1923 Paper City Hustlers, Mike Sullivan, Torlogh Burke 11 a.m. March 17 PLANET SARBEZ, 115 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0632 Glass House Point March 24 PROHIBITION KITCHEN, 119 St. George St., 209-5704 Easy Star All Stars, Sailor Jane & the Square Groupers 9 p.m. March 15. Bernard Jazz Trio, Chillula March 16. Belle & The Band, Smokestack, Denton Elkins March 17. Chelsea Saddler, Bottom Feeders, Downtown Top Rankin March 18. The WillowWacks, Trev Barnes March 19. Aslyn & The Naysayers, Jory Lyle March 20 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Spanky 9 p.m. March 16 & 17
JACK RABBITS, 15280 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Katastro, Tropidelic 8 p.m. March 15. Steve Hofstetter 8 p.m. March 16. Flipturn, Glass House Point, Aster & Ivy, South Point March 17. Vinyl Theatre, Vesperteen March 20. Makari, Adventurer, Digdog, Skyview, Modest Images March 21 MUDVILLE Music Room, 3104 Atlantic, 352-7008 Larry Mangum & the Cowboy Orchestra 7 p.m. March 15. Joe Jencks March 16. Walker Brothers, Old Dawgs New Trixx March 17. Walter Salas-Humara March 21
MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955 Anton LaPLume 9 p.m. March 15. Kurt Lanham March 16. Brian Ernst March 17 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Probable Cause 9 p.m. March 16. Fat Cactus March 17. Sunday Sessions March 18 WICKED BARLEY Brewing Co., 4100 Baymeadows Rd., 379-7099 Wild Oaks Band, Robby & Felix 11 a.m. March 17
CROOKED ROOSTER, 1478 S. Sixth St., Macclenny, 653-2337 Pet Yankees March 17 HYPERION Brewing Co., 1740 N. Main St., 518-5131 Live music most weekends & 2:30 p.m. every Sun.
MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31
“Pride of the Beaches” describes Angie’s Subs to a tea–sweet tea, for which it’s known. Home of the original baked sub, this Beach Boulevard spot surely satisfies. One word: Peruvian.
AMELIA ISLAND + FERNANDINA BEACH
BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. On the water at Centre Street’s end. Southern hospitality, upscale atmosphere; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F Family-owned café in historic building. Worldly fare, made-from-scratch dressings, sauces, desserts, sourcing fresh veggies, seafood. Dine in or al fresco under oakshaded patio. Microbrew Karibrew Pub brews beer onsite; imports. $$ FB K TO R, Su; L Daily, D Tu-Su in season THE CRAB TRAP, 31 N. Second St., 261-4749, ameliacrabtrap.com. F For nearly 40 years, family-ownedand-operated. Fresh local seafood, steaks, specials. HH. $$ FB L Sa-M; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 474272 S.R. 200, 844-2225. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriverpizza.net. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Authentic Northern-style pizzas, 20-plus toppings, pie/slice. Calzones. $ BW TO L D M-Sa THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassauhealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juices, herbal teas, coffees, daily specials. $$ K TO B L M-Sa POINTE RESTAURANT, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. In award-winning inn Elizabeth Pointe Lodge. Seaside dining; in or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily, full lunch menu. Homestyle soups, specialty sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily
DINING DIRECTORY KEY AVERAGE ENTRÉE COST $ $$
20-$35 > $35
ABBREVIATIONS & SPECIAL NOTES BW = Beer/Wine
L = Lunch
FB = Full Bar
D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted Free Folio Weekly Bite Club Event F = Folio Weekly Distribution Spot
K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch
To list your restaurant, call your account manager or call or text SAM TAYLOR, Folio Weekly publisher, at 904-860-2465 (email: firstname.lastname@example.org). 32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
THE SALTY PELICAN BAR & GRILL, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. T.J. & Al offer local seafood, fish tacos, Mayport shrimp, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Oceanfront. Award-winning handmade crabcakes, fried pickles, fresh seafood. Open-air 2nd floor balcony, playground. $$ FB K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310, traysburgerstation.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/ favorite. Family-owned-and-operated 18+ years. Blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L M-Sa
ARLINGTON + REGENCY
LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., Ste. 5, 724-5802. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK.
AVONDALE + ORTEGA
FOOD ADDICTZ GRILL, 1044 Edgewood Ave. S., 240-1987. F Family-and-veteran-owned place is all about home cooking. Customer faves: barbecued pulled pork, blackened chicken, Caesar wrap and Portobello mushroom burger. $ K TO B L D Tu-Su HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Locally owned & operated 20+ years. American pub. 1/2-lb. burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers, HH. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MOJO NO. 4 URBAN BBQ & WHISKEY BAR, 3572 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 1, 381-6670, mojobbq.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/ favorite. Pulled pork and Carolina-style barbecue. Delta fried catfish. Avondale’s Mojo has shrimp & grits, specialty cocktails. Local musicians on weekends. $$ FB K TO L D Daily PINEGROVE MARKET & DELI, 1511 PineGrove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. 40+ years. Burgers, Cubans, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher, USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. Fri. & Sat. fish fry. $ BW TO B L D M-Sa RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurantorsay.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. French/Southern bistro; local organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. $$$ FB R, Su; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simplysaras.net. F Down-home fare from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Tu-Sa, B Sa SOUTH KITCHEN & SPIRITS, 3638 Park St., 475-2362, south.kitchen. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Southern classics: crispy catfish with smoked gouda grits, family-style fried chicken, burgers, vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free options. $$ FB K TO L D Daily
AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. INDIA’S, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajaxcom. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. Curries, vegetables, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L M-Sa; D Nightly LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK.
DINING DIRECTORY METRO DINER, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., 425-9142. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE SAN MARCO. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI GRILLE, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Since 1989, the family-owned place has offered an extensive menu of traditional Thai, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Low-sodium & gluten-free. $$$ BW TO L D Tu-Sa THE WELL WATERING HOLE, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. Local craft beers, glass/bottle wines. Meatloaf sandwich, pulled Peruvian chicken, vegan black bean burgers. Gluten-free pizzas, desserts. HH specials. $$ BW K TO L M-F; D Tu-Sa WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Popular gastropub has craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds, signature plates, tacos and–sure–whiskey. HH M-F. $$ FB B Sa & Su; L F; D Nightly
(Venues are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)
ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM SUBS, 204 Third Ave. S., 241-3663. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh ingredients, 25+ years. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. Grom has Sun. brunch, no alcohol. $ K BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201, 374-5735. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BREEZY COFFEE SHOP WINE BAR, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211, breezycoffeeshopcafe.com. Local beachy coffee & wine shop by day; wine bar by night. Fresh baked pastries, breakfast sandwiches all day. Grab-n-Go salads, cheeses, hummus. $ BW K TO B L D Daily The CRAFT PIZZA CO., 240 Third St. N., Neptune Beach, 853-6773, thecraftpizzaco.com. F Al Mansur’s new place has innovative pies made with locally sourced ingredients. Dine inside or out. $$ BW L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001, europeanstreet.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA TAQUERIA & TEQUILA BAR, 207 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 853-5680, flyingiguana.com. 2017 Best of Jax
OUTERBANKS SPORTS BAR & GRILLE, 140 The Lakes Blvd., Ste. H, Kingsland, 912-729-5499. Fresh seafood, burgers, steaks, wings. $$ FB TO D Nightly
BELLWETHER, 100 N. Laura St., 802-7745, bellwetherjax.com. Elevated Southern classics in an understated setting, with chef/owner Jon Insetta’s focus on flavors, and chef Kerri Rogers’ culinary creativity. The Northeast Florida menu changes seasonally. Rotating local craft beers, regional spirits, cold brew coffee program. $$ FB TO L M-F CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth, 356-8282, casadoraitalian.com. F Serving Italian fare, 40+ years: veal, seafood, pizza. Homemade salad dressing. $ BW K L M-F; D M-Sa OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F Scratch soups, sandwiches. Duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L M-F; D F & Sa SPLIFF’S GASTROPUB, 15 N. Ocean St., 844-5000, spliffsgastropub.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Music venue has munchie apps, mac & cheese dishes, pockets, gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches. HH M-F. $ BW L D M-Sa URBAN GRIND COFFEE COMPANY, 45 W. Bay, Ste. 102, 516-7799, urbangrind.coffee. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Locally roasted whole bean brewed coffees, espressos, pastries, smoothies, bagels. Chicken/tuna salad, sandwiches. WiFi. $ B L M-F URBAN GRIND EXPRESS, 50 W. Laura St., 516-7799. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ABOVE. ZODIAC BAR & GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. 16+ years. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. HH M-F. $ FB L M-F; D W-Sa
GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE RIVERSIDE. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE AVONDALE. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tu-Su; D Nightly
The Happy Tomato Courtyard Cafe 7 S. Third St. • Fernandina Beach
Born in: Jacksonville, FL Years in Biz: 28 Favorite Restaurant: Mon Ami Gabi (Las Vegas) Favorite Cuisine Style: French Go-To Ingredients: Butter & cream Ideal Meal: Grilled NY strip steak topped with cambozola cheese and fried shallots in a red wine demi-glace Will Not Cross My Lips: Liver & onions Insider’s Secret: My wife's cookies...and no, you can't have the recipe Celebrity Sighting at Your Restaurant: All the people of Nassau County Culinary Treat: Milke chocolate-covered Oreo cookies winner. Latin American: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana fare. 100+ tequilas. $ FB TO L D Daily GUSTO, 1266 Beach Blvd., 372-9925, gustojax.com. F Classic Old World Roman fare, big Italian menu: homestyle pasta, beef, chicken, fish delicacies; open pizza-tossing kitchen. Reservations encouraged. $$ FB TO L R D Tu-Su HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 241 Atlantic Blvd., NB, 425-1025. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 1534 3rd St. N., 853-6817. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE AVONDALE. M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-2599, shackburgers.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. Dine indoors or out. $$ BW L D Daily NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 1585 N. Third St., 458-1390. 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE MANDARIN. RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL, 207 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F 34 years and counting, the iconic seafood place serves blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily HH, brunch Sun. $$ FB L D Daily WHISKEY JAX, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., 853-5973. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE BAYMEADOWS.
CAMDEN COUNTY, GEORGIA
CAPTAIN STAN’S SMOKEHOUSE, 700 Bedell Dr., Woodbine, 912-729-9552. Barbecue, sides, hot dogs, burgers, desserts. Dine in or out on picnic tables. $$ FB K TO L & D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 6586 GA. Hwy. 40 B6, St. Marys, 912-576-7006. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK.
AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. 30 years of awesome gourmet pizza, baked dishes. All day HH M-Th. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK.
MANDARIN + NW ST. JOHNS
AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199, athenscafejax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. 20+ years of Greek fare, serving dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant), Greek beers. Vegetarian-friendly. Full bar. Early bird menu Mon.-Fri. $$ FB L M-F; D M-Sa FIRST COAST DELI & GRILL, 6082 St. Augustine Rd., 733-7477. Pancakes, bacon, sandwiches, burgers, wings. $ K TO B L Daily JAX DINER, 5065 St. Augustine Rd., 739-7070, jaxdiner.com. Simple name, simple concept: Local. Chef Roderick “Pete” Smith, a local culinary expert with nearly 20 years under his apron, uses locally sourced ingredients from area farmers, vendors and the community for American and Southern dishes. Seasonal brunch. $ K TO B L M-F, D F METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Dinner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200, mojobbq.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE AVONDALE. NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET & DELI, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Organic soups, baked items, sandwiches, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie, coffee bar. All-natural beer/wine. $ BW TO K B L D Daily
MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33
DINING DIRECTORY BITE-SIZED Modern JAVA AVAA iinn tthe he Old City
COFFEE CHEMISTRY RELÁMPAGO GO COFFEE LAB IS A MUST MUST-TRY TRY FOR LOVERS of a good strong cup. The intimate, bright space is great for boisterous bonding or quiet working. Located in one of those cute little houses in the heart of historic downtown St. Augustine, Relámpago is the sister store to Dos Coffee & Wine Bar, another great local joint. There’s ample seating; sit inside, on the front porch, or in a comfy, spacious outdoor area with a very relaxed atmosphere. Using beans roasted fresh right in town, Relámpago whips up a complex seasonal cup. To kickstart our caffeine journey, we ordered a blackberry mocha latte and a French lavender latte to sip (12 ounces/$4; 16 ounces/$4.75). Anyone who reads this column on the regular knows well of my love of all things lavender. So no surprise that lavender was my favorite–I especially dug the slightly spicy finish. My companion fell for the sweeter blackberry–seems you can’t go wrong no matter what you choose.
RELÁMPAGO COFFEE LAB & ROASTING 74 Spanish St., St. Augustine, 484-7241, relampagocoffee.com
Love it or hate it, the modern coffee scene is an art. One of my favorite parts of visiting a new coffee shop is checking out the beautiful equipment, which is usually what makes each coffee one-of-a-kind. Relámpago has what looks like a potions lab set up on the back counter. A row of large, clear, glass bottles with coils of glass collect the finest dark drips and drops of coldbrewed coffee for a perfect cup ($3.75). Snape would be proud of this setup. I’m ever on the hunt for the spice kick of a good chai, so I always order a chai ($3.75/$4) when trying a new spot. Relámpago’s chai had just enough spice to make me happy and was a little on the sweet side, like most American chais. If you’re feeling a tad peckish, choose from a variety of sandwiches, like turkey and Swiss or prosciutto and Swiss—both tucked neatly into croissants—made fresh daily at Dos Coffee. For something more compact but still handheld, peruse the bakery case; you’ll find muffins and savory pastries, like spinach-and-cheese, or sweet, like guava. After devouring a spinach-andcheese in seconds, I had tiny flecks of buttery pastry clinging to every surface, which tells you it was good! This coffee shop doesn’t take itself too seriously. If you’re wondering about the name, their website says it best, “Relámpago means lightning in Spanish. We feel that flavors should come down from the clouds like lightning bolts onto your palate. Just kidding; it’s our dog’s nickname, because of his phenomenal foot speed. We just love dogs, and sometimes get carried away.” Hot or cold (because who knows what the weather is doing these days?), Relámpago has the cup for you. Brentley Stead email@example.com ___________________________________ If you have a recommendation, shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. 34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club.com. Southern fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tu-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 165, 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 5733 Roosevelt Blvd., 446-9500. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Larry’s piles ’em high, serves ’em fast; 36+ years. Hot & cold subs, soups. Some Larry’s serve breakfast. $ K TO B L D Daily METRO DINER, 2034 Kingsley Ave., 375-8548. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. The ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Sandwiches, wings, burgers, quesadillas for 35+ years. 75+ imported beers. Live music. $ FB L D Daily SPRING PARK COFFEE, 328 Ferris St., Green Cove Springs, 531-9391, springparkcoffee.com. F Cozy shop; freshroasted Brass Tacks coffee, handcrafted hot & cold drinks, specialty lattes, cappuccino, macchiato, teas, pastries, sandwiches, breakfast. $ B L D Daily
PONTE VEDRA BEACH
AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A, 543-1494. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 830 A1A N., Ste. 6, 273-3993. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. M SHACK NOCATEE, 641 Crosswater Pkwy., 395-3575. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 340 Front St., Ste. 700, 513-8422. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE SAN MARCO.
RIVERSIDE, 5 PTS + WESTSIDE
13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic Mediterranean cuisine: chorizo, tapas, blackened cod, pork skewers, coconut mango curry chicken. Breads from scratch. $$ BW L D Tu-Sa, R Sa AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. BIG OAK BBQ & CATERING, 1948 Henley Rd., Middleburg, 214-3041. 1440 Dunn Ave., 757-2225, bigoakbbqfl.com. Family-owned-and-operated barbecue joints have smoked chicken, pulled pork, ribs, sides and stumps, which sounds damn good. $$ K TO L D M-Sa BLACK SHEEP, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. New American, Southern; local source ingredients. Specials, rooftop bar. HH. $$$ FB R Sa & Su; L M-F; D Nightly BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Ste. 1, 855-1181, boldbeancoffee.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Small-batch, artisanal approach to sourcing and roasting single-origin, direct-trade coffees. Signature blends, hand-crafted syrups, espressos, craft beers. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Tu-Su CUMMER CAFÉ, Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Light lunch, quick bites, locally roasted coffee, espresso-based drinks, sandwiches, desserts, daily specials. Dine in or in gardens. $ BW K L D Tu; L W-Su
EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. 2017 Best of Jax winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. Sandwiches. Dine outside at some E-Sts. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Juice bar uses certified organic fruits, veggies. Artisanal cheeses, 300 craft, import beers, 50 organic wines, produce, meats, vitamins, herbs, wraps, sides, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls: BBQ pork char sui, beef haw fun, Hawkers baos, chow faan, grilled Hawker skewers. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILLE, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. Casual spot offers made-to-order sandwiches, wraps. $ TO B L M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE SAN MARCO. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. M SHACK, 1012 Margaret St., 423-1283. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES. SOUTHERN ROOTS FILLING STATION, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Fresh vegan fare; local, organic ingredients. Specials, on bread, local greens/rice, change daily. Sandwiches, coffees, teas. $ Tu-Su SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0047, sunraycinema.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. First-run, indie and art films screened. Beer, local drafts, wine, pizza–Godbold, Black Lagoon Supreme–hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejax.com. F Monster, Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Inside/patio. $$ BW L D Daily
AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. SEE INTRACOASTAL. The CORAZON CINEMA & CAFE, 36 Granada St., 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. F Sandwiches, combos, salads and pizza are served at the cinema house, showing indie and first-run movies. $$ Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 72 Spanish St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug.com. Updated Southern fare; fresh, local ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free options. Signature fried green tomato bruschetta, blackened fish cornbread stack; grits w/shrimp/fish/tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D W-M GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F 34+ years. Varied urban cuisine menu changes twice daily. Signature: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. $$ FB R Su; L D Daily MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 347-3288, mardibar.com. F Lively spot has wings, nachos, shrimp, chicken, Phillys, sliders, soft pretzels. $$ FB TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Dinner nightly. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova St., 342-5264, mojobbq. com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE AVONDALE. SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A, 217-3256. F SEE BEACHES. WOODPECKER’S BACKYARD BBQ, 4930 S.R. 13, 531-5670, woodpeckersbbq.weebly.com. F Smoked fresh daily.
The gastropub has craft beers, gourmet burgers, handhelds and … duh … whiskey. Two Whiskey Jax locations–Jax Beach and Baymeadows–ensure you can get a whiskey fix.
Brisket, ribs, pork, sausage, turkey: in sandwiches, plates by the pound. 8 sauces, 10 sides. $$ TO L D Tu-Su
SAN MARCO + SOUTHBANK
THE BEARDED PIG SOUTHERN BBQ & BEER GARDEN, 1224 Kings Ave., 619-2247, thebeardedpigbbq.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Barbecue joint Southern style: brisket, pork, chicken, sausage, beef; veggie platters. $$ BW K TO Daily BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox.com. F Mediterranean/French inspired menu changes seasonally. 250+ wines. Wood-fired oven-baked, grilled specialties: pizza, pasta, risotto, steaks, seafood. Hand-crafted cocktails, specialty drinks. Dine outside. HH M-F. $$$ FB L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 1905 Hendricks Ave. 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. Upscale; fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, katsu, seafood. $$ K L D Daily HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609, havanajax.com. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. Bite Club certified. Cuban sandwiches are the real thing: big, thick, flattened. Traditional fare: black beans & rice, plantains, steaks, seafood, chicken & rice, roast pork. Spanish wine, drink specials, mojitos, Cuba libres. Nonstop HH. $ FB K L D Daily METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodinercom. F 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Original upscale diner in a historic 1930s-era building. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. This one serves dinner nightly. $$ B R L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Blvd., 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner/favorite. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; tapas, wood-fired pizza. Seasonal local produce, meats. Craft beer (some local), award-winning wine. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily
SOUTHSIDE + TINSELTOWN
ALHAMBRA THEATRE & DINING, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. 2017 Best of Jax winner. Open 50 years. Executive Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tu-Su EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. MARIANAS GRINDS, 11380 Beach Blvd., Ste. 10, 206-612-6596. F Pacific Islander fare, chamorro culture. Soups, stews, fitada, beef oxtail, katden pika; empanadas, lumpia, chicken relaguen, BBQ-style ribs, chicken. $$ TO B L D Tu-Su M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000. F 2017 Best of Jax winner. SEE BEACHES.
SPRINGFIELD + NORTHSIDE
ANDY’S GRILL, 1810 W. Beaver St., 354-2821, jaxfarmersmarket.com. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. Inside Jax Farmers Market. Local, regional, international produce. Breakfast, sandwiches. $ B L D M-Sa LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. F 2017 Best of Jax favorite. SEE ORANGE PARK. UPTOWN KITCHEN & BAR, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptownmarketjax.com. F Bite Club certified. Fresh fare, innovative menus, farm-to-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily
PINT-SIZED Brews for FANBOYS and GIRLS
Dogfish head brewery
ROCK ’N’ ROLL IS HERE TO STAY. WHEN DANNY & the Juniors sang those lyrics back in 1958, rock was still new and no one could know how integral the medium would become. Rock is not only the soundtrack of the world, it’s inspired breweries to collaborate with musicians to create signature beers for bands carrying on the rock tradition. Undoubtedly the most prolific brewery producing rock-inspired beers is Delaware’s Dogfish Head. Helmed by music lover and beer genius Sam Calagione, Dogfish Head has unleashed beers honoring such legends as Miles Davis (Bitches Brew), Pearl Jam (Faithfull Ale), The Grateful Dead (American Beauty) and, most recently, The Flaming Lips (Dragons & YumYums). Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne and Calagione united to create a beer and a song based on the dragonfruit and yumberry sour brew. The band is releasing the song on a special clear vinyl disc that’s actually filled with the beer—the release is on April 21—in recognition of Record Store Day. They’re producing only 100 discs—no doubt hotly sought by beer geeks, record collectors and Flaming Lips fans. Another rock band that has a quaff with the same name is Iron Maiden. The Trooper, named for the band’s seminal song, is a traditional English ale from 180-year-old Robinsons Brewery, with the input of Iron Maiden’s singer, Bruce Dickinson. “I’m a lifelong fan of traditional English ale,” said Dickinson on the brewery’s website. “I thought I’d died and gone to heaven when we were asked to create our own beer. I have to say I was very nervous:
Robinsons are the only people I’ve had to audition for in 30 years.” Not to be outdone, Down Under band AC/DC lent their name and logo to Australian Hardrock, a German premium lager brewed under the mandate of the purity law of 1516. Originally a collaboration between the band and Germany-based food store ALDI, it’s now brewed by German brewery Karlsberg Brauerei. Marketing juggernaut and rock megaband KISS had its own beer, too. Brewed by Sweden’s Krönleins Bryggeri AB, Kiss Destroyer was a light European lager. The defunct beer got abysmal reviews and never really caught on. Despite Freddie Mercury’s apparent love for Moët & Chandon, Queen partnered with British brewer RnR Brew Ltd. to produce Bohemian Lager, to mark the 40th anniversary of the much-loved “Bohemian Rhapsody.” The Czech-style hoppy lager was brewed in Pilsen, the heart of Bohemia, in keeping with the theme. Even alt rockers Pixies have had a beer. The beer, Hey, was created as to accompany the exhibition “Where Is My Mind: The Work of Vaughan Oliver & the Pixies,” first shown at London’s Stephen Lawrence Gallery in 2016. Hey was a bottleconditioned IPA brewed from a late-19thcentury recipe; it’s been described as a lightly citrus, bitter ale with a very dry finish. With all these beers based on songs and bands, any rock ’n’ roll fan thirsting for a cold one will have little trouble finding something to tickle their fancies.
Marc Wisdom email@example.com
PINT-SIZED BREWERS’ COMMUNITY A1A ALE WORKS 1 King St., Ste. 101, St. Augustine
BOTTLENOSE BREWING 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, Jacksonville
OLD COAST ALES 300 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine
AARDWOLF BREWING COMPANY 1461 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville
DOG ROSE BREWING CO. 77 Bridge St., St. Augustine
PINGLEHEAD BREWING COMPANY 12 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park
ANCIENT CITY BREWING 3420 Agricultural Ctr. Dr., St. Augustine
ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. DOWNTOWN 633 Myrtle Ave. N., Jacksonville.
RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD & GRILL 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach
ANHEUSER-BUSCH 1100 Ellis Rd. N., Jacksonville
ENGINE 15 BREWING CO. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, Jax Beach
RIVER CITY BREWING COMPANY 835 Museum Cir., Jacksonville
ATLANTIC BEACH BREWING COMPANY 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 3, Atlantic Beach
GREEN ROOM BREWING, LLC 228 Third St. N., Jax Beach
SOUTHERN SWELLS BREWING CO. 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach
BOG BREWING COMPANY 218 W. King St., St. Augustine
HYPERION BREWING COMPANY 1740 Main St. N., Jacksonville
VETERANS UNITED CRAFT BREWERY 8999 Western Way, Ste. 104, Jacksonville
BOLD CITY BREWERY 2670 Rosselle St., Ste. 7, Jacksonville
INTUITION ALE WORKS 929 E. Bay St., Jacksonville
WICKED BARLEY BREWING COMPANY 4100 Baymeadows Rd., Jacksonville
BOLD CITY DOWNTOWN 109 E. Bay St., Jacksonville
MAIN AND SIX BREWING COMPANY 1636 Main St. N., Jacksonville
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Create a MEATY MEAL called delicious
IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME SOMEONE asked me what my favorite food was or, more specifically, my favorite dish to cook, I’d have enough cash to retire from writing this column. Lucky for you, these questions don’t result in cash rewards. Can you imagine life without my snappy repartée? As long as I’m writing about food in order to buy food, I’ll reveal what my favorite food is right now: ribs. After spending the winter practicing veganism, I decided a little animal flesh would really hit the spot. OK, I’m lying about the veganism, because just like Patrick Henry, “Give me meat or give me death” is my creed (he did say meat, didn’t he?). As to ribs, I’ve been enjoying these delicious gifts from the animal kingdom in many different ways as of late. Speaking of the animal kingdom, there’s a certain kind of antelope my kids like to call a Kabob-alope. This is because the animal’s horns curve way back from its head; they look like skewers. Which makes me think the antelope could just lean its head back, skewer itself and be grill-ready. Pretty darn handy. Butchers process ribs of different animals in many different ways, depending on demand. Today, I’m going to focus on pork ribs, which are sold in three different cuts. The most popular are back ribs, because the meat-to-bone-to-fat ratio is nearly perfect. They are also quite uniform in size, especially Danish baby back ribs, which are monopolized by the restaurant industry. The next section, known as St. Louis ribs, is cut about a third of the way down the rib. The last and cheapest cut is the fattiest section—spare ribs—which have quite a bit of cartilage. Rib tips are also cut from this. Most folks around here associate ribs with barbecue, but there are some delicious alternatives, like the Cheffed-Up Chinese version I’m sharing this week. One of the best things about this recipe? You get to use a hacksaw and show off mad wok skills. Good luck.
CHEF BILL’S STAR ANISE BRAISED RIBS
Ingredients • 1 rack St. Louis ribs • 1 Spanish onion, medium dice • 1 bunch scallions, sliced • 3 tbsp. grated ginger • 4 garlic cloves, minced • 1 tbsp. Sambol • 1 cinnamon sticks • 4 star anise pods • 1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped • 3 oz. tamari sauce • 1 oz. mirin • 2 cups hot water • 3 tbsp. sugar Directions 1. Cut the rack into individual ribs with 1. a knife. With a hacksaw, cut each rib 1. into three pieces. 2. Cover ribs with cold water and bring 1. to a boil. Simmer for three to five 1. minutes. Drain and rinse. 3. In a large wok, stir-fry ribs until they 1. begin to brown. Add onions, white 1. half of scallions, ginger, garlic, 1. Sambol, cinnamon and star anise; 1. continue to stir-fry until the ginger 1. and garlic begin to brown. 4. Add hot water and bring to a 1. boil, reduce to a simmer; add 1. remaining ingredients. 5. Simmer for about 30 minutes until 1. ribs are tender and the sauce is 1. thickened. Add water as needed to 1. keep the sauce from over-reducing. Until we cook again,
Chef Bill Thompson firstname.lastname@example.org
Email Chef Bill Thompson, owner of Fernandina Beach’s Amelia Island Culinary Academy, at email@example.com, for inspiration and get Cheffed-Up!
CHEFFED-UP UP G GROCERS’ ROCE RO CERS RS’ COMMUNITY C MMUN CO UNITY BUYGO 22 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach EARTH FARE 11901-250 Atlantic Blvd., Arlington JACKSONVILLE FARMERS MARKET 1810 W. Beaver St., Westside NATIVE SUN 11030 Baymeadows Rd., Jacksonville 10000 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin 1585 N. Third St., Jax Beach 36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
PUBLIX 1033 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine ROWE’S 1670 Wells Rd., Orange Park 8595 Beach Blvd., Southside THE SAVORY MARKET 474380 S.R.-200, Fernandina Beach TERRY’S PRODUCE Buccaneer Trail, Fernandina Beach WHOLE FOODS 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin
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PET PARENTING FOLIO LIVING G DEAR
PETS LIKE ME:
Behind every good human is an AWESOME PET waiting to share its story MEET TAZ
Recently, I encountered Taz, a superstar police dog, and learned a really cool fact: About one-third of police dogs are rescues. This particular German shepherd was found at a local shelter nine years ago. Fortunately, he was taken in by K-9 German Shepherd Rescue, which thought his keen perception and curious nature would make him an exceptional police dog candidate. Soon after, Taz was adopted and enrolled in a K9 training program with the narcotics division, proving that shelter dogs really can do anything. His story stresses one of the most important lessons of all: Never, ever give up.
TAZ ON TAZ
It’s no coincidence that wildly successful people overcame huge obstacles to get there. Sometimes those setbacks are just what’s needed to fuel a drive for success. I was an energetic puppy, deemed unfit for adoption. Being a bundle of energy should never be a death sentence. I don’t bark about those days much, because when I do, nobody believes what really happened. I often wondered how I could accomplish anything when the cards were stacked against me. It took a kind soul to see the high energy that made me difficult to adopt as a potential boon for police work. That, along with my incredible ball drive and very high intelligence, put me on a better path. I was quickly adopted by Officer Fred Mendiola, who soon became my working partner and best friend. I endured tough training and then hit reality on the streets, spending my days sniffing out drugs, bombs and suspects that would leave human cops searching entire cities. I even flashed a good teeth-baring smile at times to stop crime in its tracks. Not a bad gig for an abandoned pup, right?
I was good at my job and faithfully served my community for years as a drug-detection dog. But when my back legs started preventing me from doing my tasks, I knew my days on active duty were numbered. I now live a nice, quiet life in retirement and stay active by chasing the occasional squirrel and protecting our home. When I start remembering being a rookie on the job, I remind myself that retirement isn’t about losing identity. It’s simply a chance to create a second act, an act that deserves more naps and less stress.
CELEBRATE SERVICE DOGS
Dogs in the K-9 service are considered the bravest of the brave. Canines have been used in police operations since the earliest days of law enforcement. Over the centuries, a variety of breeds have been trained to be patrol partners. But what happens to these four-legged heroes when their service days are over? The good news is that most retired police dogs continue to live with their original K-9 handler. There are many organizations that help handlers still care for the brave fourlegged officer who protected them in the line of duty. National K9 Veterans Day on March 13 honors all military and working dogs for their service and sacrifice for our nation. The pet holiday is a show of dogged devotion to our four-legged heroes not only in the armed forces, but law enforcement, police and customs patrol.
____________________________________ Davi has the snout, if not the size, for sniffing out bad guys.
PET TIP: CUT TO THE QUICK IF THERE’S ANYTHING DOG OWNERS HATE MORE THAN MUD BUTT (if you have a long hair, you know), it’s trimming their damn nails. Then again, paying $15 or more for a 2-minute procedure feels like a rip. Waiting is a non-starter, ’cause long toenails can cause serious, painful issues. Some tips: Get Müttley Crüe used to clippers, handle her feet and toes often, invest in good clippers, and trim little bits at a time at a 45° angle. Keep the praise going and treats on hand! And have some cornstarch handy in case of accidental bleeds. MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 41
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LOCAL PET EVENTS YAPPY HOUR ST. PAWTY’S DAY • DJ Kevin Tos, dog and owner beer drinking contest, pet expo, giveaways and a St. Pawty’s Day Party, 2-5 p.m. March 18, Jacksonville Landing, Downtown. Dress the pooch in green; maybe win King or Queen o’ the Green. 353-1188, jacksonvillelanding.com. MEET YOUR DOG TRAINER • Discover the educated, dedicated trainer’s Positive Dog Training philosophy, as it relates specifically to you and your dog, 5-5:15 p.m. March 14, 21 & 28, at Petco, 950 Marsh Landing Pkwy., Jax Beach, 273-0964, petco.com. ADULT LEVEL 1 GROUP CLASS • Six-week class for older puppies or mature dogs is 6-7 p.m. March 15 at Petco, 463713 S.R. 200, Yulee, 225-0014, petco.com. Free Puppy Playtime is 1-1:30 p.m. March 17.
OBVEE, RIGHT? • I’m Red (did Morgan Freeman do that?), the patriarch of the Society. OK–psych–but I am looking for love. Is that you? Find me at Jax Humane Society, open daily on the Southside.
READ WITH SPIRIT THE DOG • Children can practice their reading skills reading to Spirit, a real, live therapy dog who loves to listen, 2:30-3:30 p.m. March 16 at Beaches Branch Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach, 241-1141, jaxpubliclibrary.org. KATZ 4 KEEPS ADOPTION DAYS • Adoption hours and days to choose a new family member are 11 a.m.-3 p.m. March 17 & 18 and every Sat. and Sun. at 935B A1A N., Ponte Vedra, 834-3223, katz4keeps.org. Katz 4 Keeps seeks volunteers, ages 18 and older, to help with its cat-centric programs; email firstname.lastname@example.org. WAGS & WHISKERS PET RESCUE • A monthly dog wash is 9 a.m.-1 p.m. March 17 and every third Sat. at 1967 Old Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine, $10 per pet; includes a nail trim, wash and towel dry. 797-1913, 797-6093, wwpetrescue.org. READ TO ROVER • Elementary-aged children practice reading skills when they read to real, live dogs 2:30-3:30 p.m. March 21 at Anastasia Branch Library, 124 Seagrove Main St., St. Augustine Beach, 209-3730, sjcpls.org.
JUST THE RIGHT AGE • Yeah, when I’m 10, the name’s gonna be silly, but I’m perfect right now! Go to the Jax Humane Society and ask for me; they’re open daily! Details at jaxhumane.org.
DINOSAURIA • The Jacksonville Zoo’s new exhibit is open now through July 7, with 21 species of life-like animatronic dinos. Open 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m. -6 p.m. Sat. & Sun. at 370 Zoo Parkway, Northside, 757-4463, jacksonvillezoo.org. $4 nonmembers, $3 members; zoo admission or membership must be purchased to enter Dinosauria. CROOKED CANINE SOCIAL • Support conservation efforts and socialize, too. Tide2Trees discusses local parks and stuff you can do in them. All dogs attending must be on leash. 7 p.m. March 19 and every Monday at Crooked Rooster Brewery, 1478 S. Sixth St., Macclenny, 653-2337. ST. AUGUSTINE HUMANE SOCIETY WELLNESS CLINIC • The community clinic runs 9 a.m.-4 p.m. every Wed. & Thur. at 1665 Moultrie Rd., St. Augustine, providing preventive care for families in financial hardship, serving medical needs of animals that otherwise wouldn’t receive care. _________________________________________ To list an event, send the name, time, date, location (complete street address, city), admission price, contact number/website to print, to email@example.com
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DALE RATERMANN’s Folio Weekly Crossword presented by
RAINER MARIA RILKE, CASABLANCA, MILES DAVIS, VELCRO & NYC
Serving Excellence Since 1928 Member American Gem Society
San Marco 2044 San Marco Blvd. 398-9741
Avondale 3617 St. Johns Ave. 388-5406
THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA
330 A1A North 280-1202
FOLIO WEEKLY CROSSWORD 1
38 39 41 43 44 46 47
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Iconic 1942 movie Casablanca won three Academy Awards and has often appeared on critics’ lists of greatest films. That’s amazing considering the production was hectic. When shooting started, the script wasn’t finished. The writing team presented the finished version of each new scene on the day of filming. Neither the director nor the actors knew how the plot would resolve until the end. Reminds me of a project you’ve been working on. Improvise less, plan more. How do you want this phase to end?
Pun, Part 4 Quiescent Jumbo Shrimp stat “The Tower” poet Drop a line Verbalize End of pun Sellout letters Oodles Popular talks UNF URL ender Hardy lass “Phooey!” Some JU students
31 32 33 34 35
Cow chow Dog-tired They’re nuts Scrabble 8-pointer Dusk, to 57-Across Jax Zoo home Mama Judd Blunder Inaction Tax ID Slip savers Fit Texter’s “Later!” BC Lions org. Rock of rock
10 11 12 13 16 19
50 53 56 57 60 61 62 64 65 66 67 68 69 70
36 37 38 39
30 33 34
20 21 22 23 24 26 29
Pen name Winter Games org. Wheeled servers “___ luck?” Start of a local jeweler’s St. Patrick’s Day pun JIA safety grp. Vilano Fest month St. ___ fire “Hush!” Neuter, e.g. Pun, Part 2 Folio Weekly staffers NBA star Ming Mexican shawl Ft. Lauderdale high school: St. Thomas ___ Distributed Pun, Part 3 Civilian garb Up to Shenanigans St. Johns County city, briefly Owns
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): New York City is the most densely populated city in North America. Its land is among the most expensive on Earth; one estimate says the average price per acre is $16 million. Yet there are two uninhabited islands less than a mile offshore in the East River: North Brother Island and South Brother Island. Their combined 16 acres are said to be worth $256 million. But no one goes there or enjoys it; it’s not even parkland. It’s an apt metaphor for a certain situation in your life: a potentially rich resource or influence you’re not using. Update your relationship with it.
31 Pampering place 34 Prez before RWR 37 Monster’s loch
11 14 15 17 18
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23 Rips to bits 25 Runner named ESPN.com’s “Best High School Athlete” ever 27 Fiji neighbor 28 Actor Beatty 31 Verdi classic 32 Dollars 34 Greek region 35 Speedy 36 Lab greetings 37 JSO unit 39 “Ladies first!” 40 Mouthy? 41 Singer Davis
CANCER (June 21-July 22): If all goes well in the weeks ahead, you’ll sharpen your wisdom of how, when and why to give your abundant gifts to deserving recipients, as well as how, when and why to not give gifts to deserving recipients. You’ll refine the ability to share tender depths with worthy allies, and your understanding of when to not. Finally, if you’re as smart as I think you are, you’ll have a sixth sense of how to receive as many blessings as you disseminate.
42 Falling upon deaf ears 45 Stump 47 Bank jobs 48 Hunter’s trophy 49 Spirited mounts 51 Gus and Co. shoe parts 52 Noblemen 54 Swamped 55 Half of hex58 Mai ___ 59 Untidy sort 61 GPS reading 62 CPR pro 63 Gene ID
SOLUTION TO 3.07.18 PUZZLE D E M I S E
A V A T A R
L E T S G O
O M E A S S T N T A P P T
L U L U
O N U S
I R A N B U A S A B G A E S S F O E T E C K H E
L A Z A R U S S T M A R Y S
E N A M O R B O R O N
N A S A K O B A A L R A R E A R E M T O A R L S
S T J O H N S E M A I L E D
H A V E O L E D U L I E A N N M Y E P E O R A N W E L S S C A M O M P A R A L A O M A T A G O P A R
ARIES (March 21-April 19): The British sci-fi TV show Dr. Who has been on BBC in 40 of the last 54 years. Over that span, the title character has been played by 13 actors. From 2005-’10, Aries actor David Tennant was the magic, immortal, time-traveling Dr. Who. His ascendance to the role fulfilled a hopeful prophecy he made when he was 13 years old. Now is a great time for you, too, to predict a glorious, satisfying or successful event in your future. Think big and beautiful!
N O T E A S H S T O O G E
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): How adept are you at playing on boundaries between dark and light, confounding dreams and liberated joy, between “Is it real?” and “Do I need it?”? You now have a great chance to find out more about your ability to thrive on delightful complexity. The temptation to simplify things too soon may be hard to resist. There may be cautious pressure from a timid voice in your head that’s not fierce enough to want you to grow into your best, biggest self. You’ll bravely explore possibilities for self-transformation outside the predictable niches. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Cultivating a robust sense of humor makes you more attractive to those you want to attract. An inclination to be fun-loving is an endearing quality worthy to be part of your intimate repertoire. There’s a third virtue related to these: playfulness. All genders are drawn to those who have a joking, lighthearted behavior. Make maximum use of these qualities in the weeks ahead. You have a cosmic mandate to be as alluring and inviting as you dare. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Gaze at exquisitely wrought Japanese woodcuts, listen to jazz trumpeter Miles Davis collaborating with saxophonist John Coltrane and inhale the aroma of the Earth as you stroll through
groves of old trees. Surround yourself with soulful beauty—or else! Or else what? Or else I’ll be sad. Or you might buy into the demoralizing thoughts people around you propagate. Or you may be blind to subtle miracles unfolding, and fail to love them enough to coax them into the fullest ripening. Hunt for soulful beauty to awaken your deepest reverence for life. Feeling awe is necessary now, not a luxury. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the Sikh religion, devotees are urged to attack weakness and sin with five spiritual weapons: contentment, charity, kindness, positive energy and humility. Even if you’re not a Sikh, you’d be wise to employ this strategy in the next two weeks. Your instinctual nature is overflowing with martial force, and you’ll have to work hard to channel it constructively, not destructively. The best way for that? Be a vehement perpetrator of benevolence and healing. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 1970, a biologist was hiking through a Brazilian forest when a small monkey landed on his head, having jumped from a tree branch. Adelmar Coimbra-Filho was ecstatic. He realized his visitor was a member of the species goldenrumped lion tamarin, which had been thought extinct for 65 years. His lucky accident led to a renewed search for the elusive creatures; soon more were discovered. A metaphorically comparable experience is headed your way. A resource, influence or marvel you thought gone reappears. How will you respond? With alacrity! CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Velcro fastener is a handy invention from Swiss engineer George de Mestral. While wandering the Alps with his dog, he became curious about the burdock plants’ bristly seeds that adhered to his pants and his dog. Upon examining them under a microscope, he got the idea to create a clothing fastener that imitated their sticking mechanism. Be alert for comparable breakthroughs. Be receptive to help that comes in unexpected ways. Study your environment for potentially useful clues and tips. Turn the world into your classroom and laboratory. It’s impossible to predict where and when you’ll receive a solution to a long-running dilemma! AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): On May 29, 1953, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay climbed to the top of Mount Everest. They were celebrated as intrepid heroes, but they couldn’t have done it without massive support. Their expedition was powered by 20 Sherpa guides, 13 mountaineers and 362 porters who lugged 10,000 pounds of baggage. I hope this will inspire you. The weeks ahead will be an excellent time to gather more human resources and raw materials for a rousing expedition later this year. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Though her work is among the best Russian literature of the 20th century, poet Marina Tsvetayeva lived in poverty. When fellow poet Rainer Maria Rilke asked her to describe the kingdom of heaven, she said, “Never again to sweep floors.” I can relate. To earn a living in my early adulthood, I washed tens of thousands of dishes in restaurant kitchens. Now that I’m grown, one of my great joys is to avoid washing dishes. Think along these lines. What seemingly minor improvements in your life are huge triumphs that evoke profound satisfaction? Take inventory of small pleasures that are really quite miraculous.
Rob Brezsny firstname.lastname@example.org
NEWS OF THE WEIRD GIVE HIM A FIVE As the medal ceremony for the men’s 1,000-meter speedskating competition concluded on Feb. 23 at Gangneung Oval in Pyeongchang, South Korea, “serial streaker” Mark Roberts, 55, of Liverpool, England, jumped the wall and took to the ice. Roberts peeled off his tracksuit to reveal a pink tutu, a “penis pouch” with a monkey face on it, and “Peace + Love” scrawled on his torso. He might have lost points for an initial fall, but he jumped up and performed a dance routine. Metro News recounts that Roberts has streaked at Wimbledon, the French Open, soccer matches, dog shows and other large events. He “retired” in 2013, saying “gravity’s against me,” but apparently he couldn’t resist the Olympics’ global exposure.
DOESN’T COUNT Washington State University senior Logan Tago, a football linebacker, received WSU’s Center for Civic Engagement Fall 2017 Community Involvement award Feb. 1 for 240 hours of service to the local community, reported WSU Daily Evergreen—service he was ordered to give as a stipulation of his sentencing in January 2017 for third-degree assault. In June 2016, The Seattle Times reported, Tago allegedly hit a man with a six-pack of beer; he agreed to a plea deal of 30 days in Whitman County jail, $800 in fines and 240 hours of community service. Tago managed to play the final two games of the 2016 season and all of 2017’s 13 games, despite a WSU athletic department policy prohibiting those facing a felony charge from playing.
HOLD MY BEER, OSHIFFER, I’LL WALK THE LINE On Feb. 9, the Texas 3rd Court of Appeals upheld the four-year prison sentence Ralph Alfred Friesenhahn, 65, of San Antonio got after his fourth DWI conviction in 2016, rejecting arguments from his lawyer, Gina Jones of New Braunfels, that the state’s legal limit for alcohol concentration discriminates against alcoholics, who have a higher tolerance for liquor. “You’re not being punished for being an alcoholic,” Sammy McCrary, chief of the felony division for the Comal County criminal district
attorney’s office told the Austin AmericanStatesman. “It’s the driving that’s the problem.”
Folio Weekly helps you connect with the paramour of your dreams. Go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html, fill out the FREE form correctly (40 words or fewer, dammit) by 5 p.m. Friday (for the next Wednesday’s FW) – next stop: Bliss!
EEEWWW At the beginning of February, several residents along a block in Marina, California, were hit by mail thieves. But the criminals may have not known what hit them when they stole Rosalinda Vizina’s package. SFGate.com reported Vizina, an entomologist, ordered 500 live cockroaches for a study she’s working on. “I feel a little bad for the roaches in case they got smushed or tossed or something like that,” Vizina told KSBW. “For the thieves, I hope they went everywhere,” she added.
CALL HIM “CHANGE THE STATION” On Feb. 20, little Jameson Proctor was born in St. Louis as a radio audience listened. Cassiday Proctor, co-host of the “Spencer’s Neighborhood” show on The Arch in St. Louis, scheduled her C-section for the middle of drive time, then invited listeners to share the moment when Jameson was born, at 7:45 a.m., through a broadcast phone call. “Our radio show is all about sharing our personal lives,” Proctor, 33, told The Telegraph. She asked fans for names and got more than 400 submissions. “It was not something I wanted to keep private,” Proctor said.
DIG IT! The mining town of Kurri Kurri, Australia, cut loose on Feb. 24 with a new festival to draw visitors: Mullet Fest, a celebration of the infamous hairstyle and those who wear it. Local hairdresser Laura Johnson came up with the idea, with contests (Junior Mullet, Ladies’ Mullet categories, and so forth) and bands (Stunned Mullets of Karuah). Winner of the junior division prize, Alex Keavy, 12, told The Guardian: “It’s not a hairstyle, it’s a lifestyle.” He pledged to use his $50 prize to buy his girlfriend a pie. More than 180 contestants competed for Best Mullet of Them All. Meryl Swanson, local Labor MP and a contest judge, said she was “looking for pride, people embracing the mullet, finding self-worth in it.”
Thursday, March 15 is DUMBSTRUCK DAY. Tuesday, March 20 is PROPOSAL DAY and the VERNAL EQUINOX. So you can kill two birds with one stone, as it were, and dance around your intended, naked except for wreaths of wildflowers loosely falling from your lithe limbs, and ask for his/her/etc. hand in marriage at the same time! He/she/etc. will be dumbstruck!
For a chance to find the love of your life, get on your digital device, go to folioweekly.com/i-saw-u.html and follow these five easy steps: One: Write a five-word headline so the person recalls that perfect moment, like: “ISU at sunset in Riverside Park.” Two: Describe the person, like, “You: Dreamy, unaware of folks nearby, watching the golden orb melt into the river.” Three: Describe yourself, like, “Me: Eying the folks, who coulda been nefarious.” Four: Describe the moment, like, “Tapped your shoulder, hoping to chat; you drifted away, humming “Tiny Dancer.” Five: Meet, fall in love, get a gazebo, make it legit. Don’t use proper names, emails, websites, etc. And keep it to 40 words. Find love with Folio Weekly ISUs! HANDSOME T OF OHIO You: Baseball cap, T-shirt under another shirt, khakis, eating pizza. You came to our table. We thought you worked there. We were going to Brix; you didn’t show. Looking for you. When: March 10. Where: Flask & Cannon, JB. #1695-0314 STUNNING AUSTRALIAN BLOND WHOLE FOODS You: Long blond hair, black leggings, awesome accent, cruising store. Me: Brown hair, red shorts, clueless in store. Crossed paths, left chatting about vegemite. Let’s continue over a cold beverage. Cheers, diplomatic relations! When: 10:30 a.m. March 1. Where: Whole Foods San Jose. #1694-0307 DNDANGGG I was a Warlock; you, a Fighter. I cast the spells, you beat the NPC to oblivion. You had a French braid; I was impressed with your strength modifier. We campaigned six times; let’s roll a critical hit together:) When: June 2017. Where: Riverside. #1693-0221 BEAUTIFUL MAN AT DAILY’S You: Filling truck. Me: Shy blonde washing windshield. You asked, “Do you want help with that?” I was speechless; second chance? When: Feb. 1. Where: Bartram Park Daily’s. #1692-0221 CHOCOLATE STUD You: Tall, chocolate man drinking a PBR by the dance floor. Me: Tall, hot brunette, covered in ink, drooling, watching you drink your beer. Will you marry me? When: Dec. 31, 2014. Where: Birdies. #1691-0214 BLACK VELVET KITTYCAT SLIPPERS 7 a.m., didn’t want to be at Quest Diagnostics till you walked in. You: Beautiful, tiny, long, dark hair, big black horn-rimmed glasses. Me: Stocky, black NY cap, black sweatshirt, Adidas high-tops. Regret no “Hello.” Dinner? When: Feb. 2. Where: Beach Blvd. Quest Diagnostics. #1690-0207 TACO TUESDAYS We were feeding bottomless pits (our kids). You snagged last inside table, offered to share. You: Confident, beautiful, loving, enthusiastic mother. Me: Getting my head examined for not getting your number. Tacos again next week? When: Jan. 30. Where: Tijuana Flats Bartram Park. #1689-0207 MISSED YOUR LAST MESSAGES Waxed non-poetic on Sponge Bob, versions of ‘What a Fool Believes’. Easy, sweet conversation; missed messages before you ditched app (saw
notifications; didn’t open). Silly to think you left number for me; feel you did. When: Dec. 28. Where: Tinder in the Duval. #1688-0117 PHOTOBOMB LIONS FOUNTAIN SAN MARCO The photographer turned into my path; I was a jerk, raised my hands. I got closer, you turned and faced me. I sat, put my arm around you; she took our picture. Lunch? Dinner? Drinks? When: Jan. 2. Where: San Marco Square. #1687-0110 HOGWARTS EXPRESS You: Stunning smile, blonde highlights, left hand tattoo. Me: Long hair, glasses, buying brother Hedwig mug. Talked about your Universal experience. I’d be honored to wait in butter beer line with you. When: Dec. 24. Where: Ponte Vedra (Jax Beach) Books-AMillion. #1686-0103 HANDSOME ELEVATOR DUDE Rode in elevator with you, leaving. I remember your blue eyes. We were with friends. I liked you. Let’s have a drink together. Me: tall(er)?, long hair, floral dress, combat boots. Think you wore a suit. When: Dec. 15. Where: River & Post. #1685-1227 BEAUTIFUL DRESS, STOCKINGS You: In cute dress, with bow pattern, black cute-patterned stockings. I sat two tables from you and noticed you walk by me to sit down. We briefly noticed each other as I walked out. When: Dec. 7. Where: JTB Chicken Salad Chick. #1683-1213 AIRPORT CUTIE You: Dark hair, slim, black shirt, gray pants, Nixon backpack. Me: Curvy, curly short hair, leggings, leather backpack. Went to Cali same day; back same day. Wanted convo; didn’t see you. Captivating aura. Who/where are you? Don’t go! When: Nov. 15. Where: Jax Intl. Airport. #1682-1206 IN PURGATORY WITHOUT YOU You: Working D&B’s counter; took time to find me a cool card. Me: Wearing Purgatory Co. shirt; agreed Purgatory’s a strange name for beautiful place. I’d love to get lost in your eyes once more. When: Nov. 19. Where: Dave & Buster’s. #1681-1222 HAGAR CONCERT ENCOUNTER We met at Sammy Hagar, talked; you and bro came over. Looked for you again, didn’t find. Tried to find at Jags game; couldn’t. Meet sometime? I’d like that. My name starts with M; yours with T. When: Nov. 11. Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre. #1680-1122 MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 45
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46 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | MARCH 14-20, 2018
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FOLIO VOICES : BACKPAGE EDITORIAL
FEEL THE SPIRIT OF INCLUSION AT THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS
Activist leads charge to LEGALIZE marijuana
ONE WISE MAN
Sherry Wheelock BLENDING SPORT WITH CULTURE AND EDUCATION, the Olympic Games celebrate the boundless joy found in effort and universal respect. As I watched the Winter Olympic Games over the last few weeks, and witnessed hundreds of Team USA athletes supporting each other in the pursuit of their full potential, I found myself reflecting on what their achievements mean to us back home. Here in Florida, the achievements of these athletes inspire thousands more who dream to represent their communities as they compete at the highest levels. For these athletes, individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities, the Olympic Games represent the spirit of inclusion, which drives them on the Road to Gold. Florida is home to more than 44,000 Special Olympics athletes, 200 of whom will soon travel to Seattle to represent our state in the Special Olympics USA Games. Many compete in multiple sports, from basketball to soccer to bowling, gymnastics and more. These athletes are champions, like those who compete at the Winter Olympic Games, and have not only overcome significant challenges to make great strides in their physical abilities, but also to become champions for their communities. Every year, athletes from across Florida join forces with their neighbors to raise funds for initiatives that celebrate inclusion, making it possible for all to experience the inclusion and satisfaction that come from physical activities. Along with support from Procter & Gamble, local law enforcement and first responders, professional athletes and sports organizations, our athletes spent several weeks sharing their stories with customers in more
M.D. M.J. M
than 780 Florida Publix stores, continuing a 45-year tradition that started when Publix Founder George Jenkins wrote a check to send our athletes to their first national games. If Mr. Jenkins could see the people in this group now, he would see athletes and communities whose values are truly aligned with the spirit of Olympic values. He would see inclusive communities where those with intellectual and developmental disabilities are offered the same chances to inspire others as the Olympic athletes who inspire us now are offered. He would see athletes who give their all on the field, in their education and work, and in their communities as ambassadors for all. And he would see those in these communities who take the time, just a few minutes in their visit to the grocery store, to make a small contribution that is part of a much larger Olympic movement to build a peaceful and better world. On behalf of all the Special Olympics Florida athletes, their families, coaches and the volunteers and staff who support them, we wish to thank you for being a symbol of friendship and unity. Thank you for lighting the torch for Special Olympics Florida.
Sherry Wheelock email@example.com
_____________________________________ Wheelock is president & CEO of Special Olympics Florida. Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage submissions. They should be 1,200 words or fewer and on a topic of local interest and/or concern. Send submissions to mail@folioweekly. com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Folio Weekly.
WITH FLORIDA IN ITS SECOND YEAR OF LEGAL medical marijuana, and with an epochal election cycle underway, the next phase of political activity has begun in earnest. While there has been no official move toward legalization in the legislature, one intrepid citizen is taking the law into his own hands—literally. Bradenton’s Colby Wise, 48, has launched a petition drive to get legalization on the 2020 ballot. Its odds aren’t great, but its mere existence is something of a game-changer. “Honestly, I feel it’s cruel and inhumane to require people to obtain a card and pay the state for permission to legally use a life-saving plant that is proven to be much safer than aspirin,” he wrote on March 5, after returning from a meeting of the Florida Constitution Revision Commission. Enter Public Proposal 700000 which, if made law, would give all citizens aged 21 and older the “right to possession, use and cultivation of cannabis,” defined as “ALL parts of any plant of the genus cannabis, whether growing or not, and the seeds thereof; the resin extracted from any part of the plant; every compound, manufacture, salt, derivative, mixture or preparation of the plant or its seeds or resin.” This would scrap the existing system of medical cards, licensed doctors, etc., while business would remain essentially the same for dispensaries with an expanded product line and customer base. “Signatures are required for the paper Ballot Initiative,” Wise said, “but the Florida Constitution Revision Commission doesn’t need signed petitions to place any public or commissioner proposed Amendment on the ballot. … The FL CRC is comprised of 37 commissioners who will require an affirmative vote by 22 commissioners to place an amendment on the ballot.” It seems likely, however, that the commission will bow to political pressure and table the matter. There is an outside chance of Democrats taking control of the Florida legislature in 2018, then voting this onto the 2020 ballot in the next couple of years, but that’s effectively a non-starter. Wise and his volunteers have to do it the oldfashioned way. “To date, a handful of volunteers for Floridians For Freedom’s grassroots initiative [has] validated over 22,000 signatures. Unfortunately, Florida requires 766,200 valid signatures derived from at least 14 Congressional Districts and all signatures must be collected within a 24-month window. So we’ve got a way to go to qualify the FFF Ballot Initiative for our 2020 ballot.” It may seem odd that a few dozen unelected political appointees can block this from the ballot, but that’s what they’re there for. One can hope that growing profits from the medical marijuana industry allows advocates to buy compliance, in the classic Southern tradition. Ironically, that might be ideal for politicians, who could pass the buck to the voters and avoid dealing with it themselves. “I’d say they generally wish they never had to hear the words cannabis or marijuana again,” said Wise. “It seems to be a touchy subject for them.”
Shelton Hull firstname.lastname@example.org MARCH 14-20, 2018 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 47
Published on Mar 13, 2018