Folio Weekly: Vol 8. No. 37, December, 13, 1994

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Get a gift for an older child or teenager who may be forgotten during the holiday season. Call the Childbirth and Parenting Education Association at 904-829-5437 formore information.

Make a donation to Hospice Northeast by sponsorfafan ornament on the Tree of Life in honor of a Sone. Caff 398-1724 for more information.

GIFT #7

Get a child the Christmas gift he or she wants by sponsoring an angel through the Salvation Army’s Angel Tree project Call 366-9203 to find the Angel Tree near you.

GIFT #13

See the First Coast Nutcracker with the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra, the proceeds benefit the children of the First Coast. Performances are Dec. 16 through 18 at the Civic Auditorium, call 354-5547 for tickets.

Help feed the hungry during the holiday season and throughout the year by donating cairned items or money to the Second Harvest Food Bank. Call 3533663.

GIFT #2^ Donate canned or packaged food items to the City Rescue Mission to help them feed 1,000 disadvantaged families, through their Arms Around Jacksonville project. Call 353-5565 for more information.

GIFT #3

GIFT #14

GIFT #8

Let your holiday generosity spread throughout the year by making a donation through United Way. Ask your employer about payroll deduction or call 390-3200.

Donate a toy to the annual Dorcas Drake Christmas Party, where thousands of disadvantaged children get Christmas presents. Toys can be dropped off at any fire station through December 20.

GIFT«5

GIFT #9

Help someone who has Alzheimer's enjoy the holiday season a little more by donating gifts for elderly people or donating your time to help with their Christmas party. Call "Our House" at 3814839 for more information.

GIFT#4@

Visit a senior citizens center or a home-bound elderly person who may not have any family in the area. Call 630-0928 or 630-0995 to find out how you can make the holiday season a little brighter for the elderly.

Donate blood during the holiday season. It’s a time when blood supply is low because many regular donors can’t donate due to their busy holiday schedule.

Call the Florida Georgia Blood Alliance at 353-8263 for more information.

GIFT #16

GIFT #10

Help the Marines gel toys to disavantaged children by donating a toy to the Toys For Tots project Call the Toys For Tots Coordinator at 573-1752 to find a drop-off point near you.

GIFT #5 U Volunteer your time to help wrap or distribute Christmas gifts, visit an elderly person or serve food to a family. The Salvation Army needs volunteers during the holiday season. Call 3669237.

GIFT #17

GIFT #11

I am excited about the gifts my 10-month-old and I will be giving away this Christmas.

Well be giving out smiles as we visit elderly hospital patients.

EILEEN FAXAS Last year the man who I’m now engaged to many surprised me with an ornament that said "Our First Christmas - 1992." But that was last year when you could only get ”1993" ornaments. It turns out that he bought the ornament in 1992 when we had only been dating for two weeks, saying he had a feeling that we’d be together for a long time.

Make a New Year's resolution to help people throughout the year. Call Volunteer Jacksonville at 398-7777 to find a volunteer position that fits your interests, needs, and time constraints.

Have your holiday packages wrapped by the Muscular Dystrophy Association at the Avenues Mall. The proceeds help fight M.D.A. and provide services locally for those with M.D.A. Call 739-3964 for more information.

Oo/r KRISTIN DODD

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Help a homeless person stay warm throughout the holiday season and year by donating warm coats, blankets or shoes in good condition to the Clara White Mission. Call 354^162.

Make a donation to the Beaches Lifeline Emergency Society, who make sure that needy children and families in the beaches areas receive Christmas gifts and food Donations can be made at the South Beach Regional Sand Castle Plaza.

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MIKE LYONS The Christmas of 1978, my wife gave new wedding band to replace the one I lost swimming less than a year after we were married. That's a gift I'll never forget, and it's still on my left hand.

TORY RYDEN Two days before Christmas, 1991,1 received a call from the doctor saying that my baby would be bom with Down Syndrome and My Christmas 8® arrived May 4,1992, when my daughter Catherine was

ftXmldPletely n°nna1’ With°Ut a PIOblem “

TABLE OF CONTENTS Cover Feature

DREAMING OF A [BLACGC C^EEGC CMSTMAS

©

The State of the JSO. What two reports reports and one sheriff have to say about Duval County s police force.

By Tim Thornton Cover: Illustration by Bruce Cooke

Living History By Jay Polachek

©

Politics By Jim Hightower Military Maneuvers By Scott Shuger

The Mail Briefcases Bouquets & Brickbats Local Mews Summary

& Environment By Colleen Bondy Commentary

By Timothy W. Jones

® Education By Linda L. Heinzman ® Late Night Guests By Heather Joslyn

Sports Talk By Greg Larson © Politics By Sue Sterkenburg Commentary Leslie Golfer Dillingham © Nuzak By David Simons

Best Bets

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<D Restaurant Directory

This Week Calendar Listings

Straight Dope

Film By Pat McLeod

Social Conscience By Teresa Hicks

Music By Arvid Smith

Mews Of the Weird By Chuck Shepherd ®

By Cecil Adams

Rea Madtet Cfiristmas By Sue Sterkenburg ® Classifieds Art By Ted Weeks ® Real Astrology By Rob Brezsny Art By Ted Weeks ® The Eye By Frank Andrew

Club Calendar

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;X isn't just for adults. Patagonia® Kids

BackPage By Hal Crowther

EO.f’ ^0 VTM Publisher: Sam Taylor Associate Publfsher/Ad Director: T. Farrar Martin Editor. Tim ruLEU Vv LLBxlLII Thornton Production Manager. Meg Hendryx Sales Manager: Dave Hendryx Business Manager: Lynn McClendon Photo Editor: Walter Coker Classified Representative: Debbie Delgado Calendar Editor Jay Polachek Staff Writer Sue Sterkenburg Editorial Interns: Erin Cleghorn, Teresa Hicks Graphic Designers: Phyllis Vandermolen, Amb§r Edison, Bruce Cooke, Susan Rigdon Sales Representatives: Janna Harrell, Rebecca Banaszak, Kathrin Lancelie, Pamela Lloyd, Jell Piercey and Anne Rossignol Contributing Writers: Cecil Adams, Frank Andrew, Travis Charbeneau, Hal Crowther, Victoria Donnelly, Laura W. Haywood, Greg Larson, Pat McLeod, Lance Roberts, Chuck Shepherd, Arvid Smith and Ted Weeks Cartoonists: Tom Tomorrow and Darby McClintock. Folio Weekly is published Tuesday and 32,000 copies are distributed throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions.

Manuscripts or materials should be accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope to be returned Please allow six weeks for a response. Calendar information must be received three weeks in advance of event dale. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 1994. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. One free copy per person. Additional copies association OF and back issues 3(6 25t each.Rist Class mail subscriptions are $20 for 13 wks., $40 for 26 wks. and $70 r—lor 51 wl<s- Address all correspondence to Folio Weekly, 9456 is n/i /ir-o ir'IT'F'x A' PhilliPs Highway, Suite 11, Jacksonville, FL 32256. (904) 260-9770. \ V/ V LlMlT I LU U ©I p! Fax (904) 260-9773. Please recycle Folio Weekly.

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________ ______ It was kind of scary, really. I was listening to Newt Gingrich and he seemed to be making sense. Then I read the fine print. Newt was talking about what a good thing it would be to cut off public funding of these things called legislative service organizations.

They are really lobbying groups within Congress. Under Newt’s plan, they’d still be able to get together, they just wouldn’t get special funding from the government. The Black Caucus, the Caucus for Women’s Issues and the Hispanic Caucus got all the attention, but Newt’s brutes also axed the Travel and Tourism Caucus, the Automobile Caucus, the Steel Caucus and caucuses for the Pennsylvania, New York and California congres­ sional delegations. Why should we, the collective taxpayers, be giving special funding to those groups?

We shouldn’t. And we don’t. We didn’t, even before Newt swung into action. The Republicans say cutting out LSO’s will save $5 million each year. But the groups are funded out of congressional staff accounts, so closing them won’t save money, it will just shift it around. Each member of Congress gets more than half a million dollars to spend on staff If a member wants to join the Worldwide Widget Caucus, that member can scend some of his or her staff allotment on the Widget Caucus. If the money doesn’t get soent on the Widget Caucus, it will still get spent. Newt’s next money saving plan was ven worse On his show on a conservative cable channel, Gingrich said he’d like to cut e., federal funding of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting — the organization that helos support public radio and TV. (Gingrich reportedly urged his viewers to send conF•hiitions to the cable channel. Aren’t these conservatives supposed to be free market tn°e7 What’s he doing begging for handouts?) Money isn’t at the heart of Newt's house i nins Ideas are. Newt doesn’t like some of tile ideas that came out of the caucuses, C ehe’s cutting them off. Newt doesn’t like some of the programs that public broadcast?°„ has shown so he wants to cut public broadcasting off, too. inS Ofcourse by cutting off the shows he and Jesse Helms find offensive, Newt will also ■ ittinc off Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, Mr. Rogers - real trouble makers. Worse than be he’ll be cutting off the only decent national television news show and the best thS-’ al radio news shows in the country. Newt has tried to contrast himself to those nT‘° in the White House and their friends - people he has called enemies of normal folks in i ^jnk a lot of normal Americans watch PBS and listen to NPR. I hope Atn^hears from every one of them. More importantly, 1 hope that every one of them tensIhehrepGesentative what they think of Newt’s idea. I think it stinks. □

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Eneugh is Enough WUe,resp«eltte_*»W one chooses, is no ----- there---„ than those who that frightens mens me more cpjf.nro^questionably the s P align unq_-" J' with ” claimed “religious right.

The recent political campaigns indicated their depth of “Christianity,” ing misrepresentations, lies, half-truths, a real penchant for dirt - i.e., good ole politi-

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ingrates kept the money, instead of invest­ ing it in the economy). All of the above brought on the Reagan-Bush recession, which the American public seems to have completely forgotten.

Another era of avarice is about to begin, for more of the same is in the plans of the new Republican controlled Congress, with a fat tax cut for “you know who.” On top of that will be a high defense budget, star probably be wars- and Mr. Gramm uraiinii will win jnvuauiy De rewar(jed with the Supercollider - all multi­ billion dollar projects.

To force the deficit up to an almost irre­ ducible amount is part of a Republican master plan. The next step is to get a bal­ anced budget amendment to the Constitution. Then comes the pie’ce de resistance: with crocodile tears irMheir

’TfSSSS mm - SSS Security Medicare and Medicaid 23S and any rtant mat nusu uunnau 5 n „ ,-t a other Liberal b Democrat invention (which X5S. WRTiWS?X ™. *-*• found that fiumari being who has_---. inciting— they have resented and detested al! those t

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laming while abandoning truth, then and inflaming truth years). yCal3J. You see, they jwill ■■■— -- be able to depth or reason is. He has found a grand blame it on the Constitution. It wouldn t be niche in the wonderful world of capitalism, their fault. The devil made them do it. ~ is a consummate showman and exploiter But E_.don ---- - t worry — .. America, <,OAMr. ni x uDole in the worst of fashions. In my humble (whose family income is over S30Uk) $300k) has a opinion the only difference between Rush wonderful health plan for you. You may be Limbaugh and Jim Jones is that Limbaugh having trouble meeting your--mortgage payI' ' _...........................------------------------------------------------------ment, but his health plan will “allow" you gets pcJd. paid.

Further this often hypocritical, saccha- to open a savings account for your health rine group is perfectly willing to “allow” care. He doesn’t say where the money will advertising, tacit promotion and sponsor- come from.

••••• -j-fog Republicans will give your children ship of outrageous, mind-numbing, twisted,’, troublingly exploitative, no solution, day- vouchers for private schools, but you will time hour sensational talk shows such as have to find the money that the voucher Ricki Lake (two times a day), Sally Jesse doesn’t cover, which may be quite a lot.

Raphael, Gordon Elliot, together with three One idiot Texas Republican is opting to soap operas on Channel 17, yet took the take children away from welfare recipients fL--------------’----------------------------------------standJ'that I as a viewer was/arn not mental- w----------------------------------------------------------------------ho can’t find work, and put them in foster ly or morally capable, much less responsi­ homes. Who will pay for the foster homes? ble enough, to change channels and/or Let’s hope that they won’t be able to do cope with the alleged swearing, violence too much damage in the next two years, and nudity within the award-winning *— ---- :->Anne Hamrick “NYPD Blue.”

Jacksonville We’re again dealing with prayer in school. There is no law that prohibits or prevents anyone, anywhere in this country from praying at any time they may choose to so do; quite the contrary, it is guaran­ I really appreciate the “Bouquet” in the teed. To allow mandated prayer in schools not only violates the Constitution, it would November 29 issue recognizing our efforts grant a small group of like-believers poten­ to build a Habijax house. 1 must admit that tial power to “force” their religious will on the credit is due not to any one individual others and could open doors to all sorts but to our entire Leadership Jacksonville of further religious persecution/domina- class of 1994. The Leadership Jacksonville tion/intrusion into our lives. Our forefathers organization was instrumental in exposing fought, died for and we escaped that in our class to various aspects of our city. It also helped bring 59 extremely unique and 1776! s.„vocal mH ...uoi nui must ue not committed individuals together working n_A---small but group be allowed to coerce ixmu/vn and/or uuiinuciie dominate my my me life Jioward mon goal that would «•. a. com -------mvuiu greatly (or yours) any further by throwing their benefit ,ne 1( Jacksonville.

Jacksonville. This This isis one one example example interpretations of my Bible at me or in my °° tlue tlue lead leadership ership in in action. action. So So though though 11 face. When the time comes, I will take my PPers ers°nally °nally appreciate appreciate the the recognition, recognition, 11 chances with the only empowered “judge” would would^like like to to pass pass itit on on to to all all of of the the mem mem-­ m my life. Until then, I will continue to deis our class who have put aside differrespect others opinions but will also con- ences enc®s and ar)d worked worked together together for for this this very very tmue to fight and speak out for MY inalien worthwhile project. able rights as an 'aHen T.R. ““Mac Mac”” McGehee McGehee Jr Jr a ° "d " American!

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Baker (R-Tenn), wh^^hT ‘l°Ward majority leader, called that a ^ePate gamble.”” The gamble 12^ " ^? a‘ gamble.

The camblp faiioZ' “ve VCIU <->ai utuv-ii ......

en^oh^11 yOU ‘h°ught you'd heard WppIu^ a3°ut tree issue. Fol>° yosaN°v- 8 issue ran a briefcase o ng a tree and powerline dispute i*1

a row of 80-year old Sabal palms in Springfield that were growing directly into power lines. The Springfield Improvement Association argued that the palms were there long before the power lines and thereby deserved priority. The JEA and the

PACE began to work on this dilemma 10 years ago. The organization was formed to help girls ages 12-18 in risk of dropping out of school, are drop outs, or have had brushes with the criminal justice system.

Recommendation to the program is the first step, but commitment to the organiza­ tion must be voluntary. The program offers regular academic curricula and counseling.

“This works. So many programs like this don’t, but this one does,” says Taylor. “We take a holistic approach to the problem.

We’re not just applying a Band-Aid. We teach everything from good grooming to how to balance a check book."

Since the program originated in Jacksonville, it seems appropriate that, after a national search, native Jacksonville resident Taylor was chosen for the newly created position. “She was hired to help raise money to keep PACE in business and help it to expand,” explains Program Development Manager Gail Henson.

PACE is looking to expand the seven statewide organizations to 15 locations and eventually to institute national chapters. ooo

Trees like these are in question.

SLA decided to move the cross bars of the power lines out of the trees’ growth pattern.

The trees were saved, but at the expense of the Springfield taxpayers.

In response to that article, a caller con­ tacted Folio Weekly pointing out that the city had planted trees downtown directly under existing powerlines.

Eight months ago the Jacksonville Transportation Authority had beautified a paved park-and-ride lot bordered by Liberty, State and Union streets. In planting trees and shrubs the JTA had, in fact, placed date palms near existing power lines. Would the trees become a power line hazard and later a taxpayer’s expense?

Steve Arrington, director of JTA, explains that a city landscaper was hired to direct plantings with “the least amount of interac­ tion with the power lines as possible.”

Although Arrington did not personally oversee the landscaper’s work, he assures the trees would be trimmed to prevent interference with power lines. “It will be 10 or 15 years down the road,” Arrington adds, “before the trees grow into the power lines.” In addition, the street lighting is scheduled to be reworked three to four years from now, meaning the power lines will probably be placed under ground. If not, construction engineer Richard Schwabe, who inspected the completed work on the former park-and-ride lot, says the date palms planted under the lines, “will not grow to interfere with the power line ” But in the dubious spirit of promoting trees Arrington says, “We’ve had projects where we’ve planted material and known there will be a problem 10 to 15 years down the road — but we’d rather have the benefit of the trees now. It’s worth the effort of the expenditure.”

If Top 40 or southern rock is not your cup of tea, listen up. A new radio format is quietly taking root in the rich soil of airwave opportunity and hopes to entice prodigal listeners back to the radio once again. Old favorites like Robert Plant’s “I’m in the Mood,” Squeeze’s “Black Coffee in Bed” and the seldom-heard “Canary in a Coal Mine” by the Police will restore faith in Jacksonville’s programming powers that be. These aural goodies are but a few of the songs belonging to the new “adult, album and alternative” format on 93.3 Al A Callahan/Jacksonville.

The station hopes to lure the listeners who want more than the mainstream. Jim Randall, 93.3’s program manager, was hired on a month ago fresh from 101.5 Channel X to ensure the format was serving an audience mainstream radio was over­ looking. At 101.5 Channel X, Randall was part of a team bringing a “rap, rock, hip­ hop,” an urban format, to listeners ages 12 through 24. Listeners could tune into a palatable mix of bands like Pearl Jam, Offspring and Weezer with fringe dance tunes and some rap: a format offered nowhere else in Jacksonville.

“The format was successful,” Randall says. “The management of the radio station thought differently.” Now at 93.3 A1A, Randall will establish a solid identity for the station based on the three A’s. The target­ ed demographic is males and females thir­ ty-five and older — truly though, the sta­ tion’s new format appeals to anyone listen­ ing for tunes not played on Jacksonville's airwaves currently. Although 93.3’s format skims upon what some may consider alter­ native music, Randall shudders at the label.

“We'd like to consider ourselves as pro­ gressive — forward leaning."

Randall doesn’t promise free concert tickets, CDs or lots of money to draw new listeners to 93.3. “We’re going to make promises that we can keep. You won't hear the same song more than once a day and we’ll tell you the title and artist of every song we play. 1 think most people could give a shit about winning the Cranberry’s new CD."

Setting the Pace “Most of today’s programs focus on delinquent boys. Nobody knows what to do with girls,” comments Julia Taylor, new State Director of Development for Practical and Cultural Education Center for Girls, Inc.

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via unlocked doors and windows and ■ ing money, jewelry and other valuaiT1’ while the unsuspecting dweller is hr, 65 Folio Weekly spoke with a resident nfl?’ gated community of Marsh Landin©,?6 recently fell victim to a cat burglaiy Th©0 ident did not wish to be identified "G burglary had to have occurred Mn„?e night,’’ says Resident X, “Because 1 wok«ay Tuesday morning and things were oi© place. A ceramic dish 1 had on the dr« 01 ended up in the bathroom. Also th. were in disarray in my purse.” The Res?® X thinks the burglar came in throunh unlocked sliding glass door in the W room and moved freely about the hn> while she slept, rifling through person 1 items in search of money and jewelry ' It’s a frightening prospect, a tot., stranger invading your most persona space. Victims of these types of crimes fw violated after this happens. But perhaps th most objectionable action comes from Marsh Landing’s property management office. We contacted a source in the secui ty department, and after telling us his side of the story, the source refused to be ami ed. This don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy is appar ently extended to Marsh Landing residents as well. Resident X contacted the manage ment, who gave her a lukewarm response “The management doesn’t portray [the situation] fairly to homeowners; they're not up front with us... they want everyone to think [gated community life is] an ideal situation Which raises the question: Does Resident X feel that a “gated community" equals optimum security? “I never figured living here would keep you safe,” admits Resident X. “It’s a total fallacy... 1'11 make sure all the doors and windows are locked and not be lackadaisical about it.”

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Brickbats to Julian Goodman, a basketball player for Edward Waters College, who suckerpunched FCCJ’s John Knox during a scrimmage game and broke his jaw. The injury could have ruined Knox’s basketball career. If this had been NCAA Division I competi­ tion, Goodman could have been banned from play­ ing the rest of the year.

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A bouquet to Frank Space who recently received the 1994 Secretary of the Navy Resource, Recovery and Recycling Award. Space, recycling director for Naval Air Station Jacksonville’s Morale, Welfare and Recreation Department, implemented a program that turned 3,897 tons of waste into $389,700 for the department. The earning paid for entertainment, club renovations and golf courses for the base.

Readers are encouraged to send in their Brickbats & Bouquets to the Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Highway, Suite 11, Jacksonville, FL 32256. Or send via FAX, 2609773. Be sure to include your name and telephone number.

LOCAL NEWS SUMMARY Jacksonville’s crime rate drops from third to seventh in the nation. FBI sta­ tistics show serious crimes have dropped from a rate of 9,169.1 crimes in 1992 to 8,598 crimes in 1993 for every 100,000 people.

Jaguar officials are asking for at least $300,000 annually for a corporate sponsor to name the new stadium. There are only two other teams in the NFL, Buffalo and Indianapolis, who have successfully sold their stadium names.

The downtown bus station moves to a new location. The new station is located opposite Hogan Street between State and Union Streets. At a cost of $3.5 million, the hub will service buses and the Automated Skyway Express.

City officials court the Ukranian Olympic wrestling team. The team was brought to Jacksonville to encourage them to train here for the 1996 Olympics. Other countries contacted by Jacksonville officials include China, Japan, Thailand and Finland.

Duval County Schools sweep Florida Drug-Free School Recognition Program awards. Arlington Heights and Alimacani elementary schools, Ribault, Paxon, Mayport and Mandarin middle schools and Terry Parker High School collectively won seven of the 16 awards given statewide.

The city of Jacksonville and Jacksonville Beach may split the $300,000 expense to dispose of hazardous waste. Although Jacksonville Beach now owns the property on which the waste was found, the city of Jacksonville owned the site from 1968 to 1991.

Sex education task force is assigned by the Duval County School Board.

Several parents attended the meeting to show opposition to a class teaching contracep­ tion.

Robbery attempt at the Winn Dixie in the 700 block of Cassat Avenue was stopped by an onlooker. Perry Bridges was caught trying to steal a getaway car after realizing he had locked the keys in his own vehicle.

Duval County Judge Hugh Fletcher faces a public reprimand from the Florida Supreme Court Judge Fletcher hit a dock in the intracoastal with his 27 1/2 ft motor boat in April 1993. Judge Fletcher then lied to a Marine Patrol officer about the incident. candlewood High School science teacher Jacqueline Kamp Simms wins ational award. Simms was one of 15 teachers who received the Presidential Award ° r Excellence in Science and Mathematics. She will receive a presidential citation and Sandalwood High School will receive a $7,500 grant, q

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9810-10 Baymeadows Rd., Jacksonville, 642-0022 id y°u say y°u had relatives com]Bing in from New Orleans for the New Year’s holiday?.

Well, if the people are affiliated ici-ana National Guard or the with the Louisiana New Orleans Police Department, I wouldn’t look for them to make it to North Florida this New Year’s.

You see, the Florida Gators and the Florida State Seminoles are playing a rematch football game in the Sugar Bowl J^11- 2 and all hell is likely to bust loose in Nawlins.

Certainly any off-duty policeman who wants to work will make big bucks patrolling Irhnn Qtyadf Anri r rxi-xrizT Bourbon Street. And they’ll probably need the National Guard, too. Firewater and foot­ ball don’t mix when it comes to large num­ bers of nasty rival fans thrown together for a weekend in a place like the French Quarter.

Normally, when Florida plays at FSU or FSU at Florida, the numbers are not con­ ducive to trouble because the home team has 70,000 fans and the visitor has maybe 5,000, or at the most, 10,000. This time, in Nawlins, the numbers will be close to equal.

By tne the time tney they . B tsy p= n

as he reaches for the Seminole fan: “Why you redneck mother, you’re going to get it.”

Of course, everyone joins in and we’ve got Fist City. Blows rain, shirts are tom, feel_ __ ~____ ki„„l_____ — J----- J ings ____ are U..„* hurt, eyes are blackened and the cops come.

This scene will be repeated scores of times during the Gator-Seminole Sugar Bowl weekend. The Louisiana National Guard should set up a M.A.S.H. Unit outside Pat O’Brien’s and the N.O.P.D. should bring in a mobile booking unit and holding tank. Cab drivers should carry extra bandages and antiinfectants.

Then, late at night, when all the grayheaded, red-faced boosters of both teams have crashed and burned, the younger marauders and those who think they are younger marauders, will be walking the nar­ row, filth-strewn sidewalks of Bourbon Street.

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And wait until they Let me describe a 1 get home. There will be typical scene on Dec. no losers.

29 in Pat O’Brien’s, the “Aw man, you signature Bourbon should have seen it.

Street watering hole: This bunch of Gators Seminole fan came up to us about dressed in garnet four in the morning and slacks and a garnet started giving us a ration and gold rugby shirt: of grief and we just wast­ “Whoa, Whoa-whoa ed ’em. They were begwa whoa wa whoa wa ging for mercy.”

WhGator fan dressed in blue slacks, white The lies that will be told Jan. 3 will make shirt with a Steve Spurrier autograph and a Pinnochio look like Billy Graham.

Bourbon Street, parts of it at least, will “(bleep) Both Bowdens” button: have to be closed for repair.

“Whatsamatter, you constipated or what?”

It’s not _going_ to be .pretty, This brings howls of laughter from his fel. this Florida-FSU -- -- .u:-- u .--------- ...... . , fans and naturally, infuriates the rematch thing. If 1 were you, I’d drive .u, in the lOVr Od ’ i j Hur day of tKa the rtnma game onH and honH head nnf out rirthfr right aftor after tKa the Seminole brethren on hand.

Seminole fan: “ Watch it son or I’ll put a verdict has been sealed. It will be no place for the sane.

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1 think it’s safe to say Nawlins, which has fan- “Let me tell you where to stick Gator *“*• „ see seenn about eveiything, everything, hasn’t seen anything like in-state rivals, laden ^^More^Gator fan: “By the way, boy, get you L —two ... --------------- with hard feelM7f this -Dod-it dod-it, dod-it, dod-it. If ings and jealousy, squanng off with a score S°meain’t c^Uhis of Gator is going to to settle r^e (excuse the the n,,nY pun).

Hey, this ain’t gonna be no Westinghouse ’“"SS fc^Who you callin’ boy? And convention.

Greg Larson can be heard on the Sports for Lunch, Monday-Friday, on WVOJ AM 970 neGaior fan, spilling his oversized Humcane from 12:05 p.m.-2 p.m.

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l~\ /~\ ayor Ed Austin’s letter of Nov. A/ .I 15, 1994 regarding his support \/ of the AES Corporation writLJ ■ ten to “To Whom It May Concern” is indeed troubling. His letter raises many questions and concerns in the citizens of Jacksonville. Has our Mayor truly forgotten the facts which raised doubts as to AES’s integrity? What was our Mayor’s motive in writing this attempted testimonial as to AES's charac­ ter as a “good corporate citizen?” Where are the facts upon which he bases his conclusions? They do not exist in Jacksonville, Maine or Oklahoma. Upon what basis does Mayor Austin conclude that Jacksonville’s attitude towards AES has changed and that in his judgment “Jacksonville would now welcome AES as corporate partners (sic)?” Why has Mayor Austin used his official position as the Mayor of Jacksonville, the elected repre­ sentative of the people of Jacksonville, without consulting either the City Council or the people of Jacksonville, to cloak what is solely an expression of his person­ al opinions regarding AES and the opposi­ tion Jacksonville raised to AES and its power plant project.

Jacksonville’s rejection.of AES was based on facts. Perhaps our Mayor needs to be reminded of these facts.

In the permit application to build a coal fired power plant on Jacksonville’s Northside, AES and Seminole Kraft Corporation stated that three old, pollut­ ing boilers in use at the Seminole Kraft paper mill would be shut down because the proposed power plant would provide steam to the mill instead. This factor was taken into consideration by the Florida Department of Environmental Regulation (DER) in issuing, on Jan. 21, 1991, a joint permit to AES and Seminole Kraft This permit required that these boilers be shut down.

However the Office of Attorney General Bob Butterworth uncovered a confidential memorandum between AFS Art ?eTlnole Kraft verifying that, in fact AES had entered into a confidential “letter ?0ini990 W'th Seminole Kraft dated Sept o?’th!90mYe?ln§ On the continued use of the old boilers after the power olant was operating. The Florida Times-Umon

ceed with the original peS?i?ed n° E™' later, once it was and then change it.

PP oved, attempt to Butteworth'' DER reDortnertymGeneral Bob tion of this agreement had hat,the execuknown to theSand m made had been led to beltevethauh he aSency

under consideration, not a decision already made. The Florida Times-Union quoted Attorney General Butterworth as stating that "‘the fact that DER had been kept in the dark about the existence of this agreement while the project’s applica­ tion was under consideration amount to a bait-and-switch gimmick at the expense of Jacksonville citizens.’”

The DER issued a report which stated that the state had been misled and recom­ mended that Governor Chiles and the Cabinet suspend or revoke the AES per­ mit until questions about changes affect­ ing the plant’s environmental impact were resolved.

On May 5, 1992, Governor Chiles and the Cabinet voted unanimously to begin the procedure to revoke or suspend the power plant’s operating permit. The Florida Times-Union quoted Governor Chiles as stating “‘the tipping thing, the thing that tipped us over, was the assur­ ance all these boilers would be shut down.’” “‘If someone knew they wouldn’t be, that’s a material misrepresentation.’”

By letter dated June 15, 1992, Attorney General Butterworth also informed the Governor and Cabinet that “this apparent­ ly was not the first time AES had withheld disclosure of a confidential business agreement from a government agency while seeking permits for a power plant."

Butterworth stated that in 1991, a key issue in Maine in the debate over permit­ ting a proposed AES power plant was how much power the local Maine utilities would gain. Butterworth cited New England news media reports that AES had acknowledged to federal and local envi­ ronmental regulators that AES was negoti­ ating to sell power to out-of-state utilities-« subsequently was revealed that, in lad. formal contracts to sell power to out-®state utilities had already been executed

by AES. Regarding this same AES power pW‘ m Maine, in June 1992, “Franklin5 Insight” reported yet another fact whic calls into question AES’s integrity ' reported that when AES approach^ Bucksport, Maine with a proposal to N a power plant there, AES stated that would not build in the town if.AE-’" . not wanted, yet despite a non-binding , erendum in which 60% of the citizens Bucksport asked AES to leave, Awcu tinues to fight for the plant. jd AES’s integrity was further queS*'c * by the fact that on June 17, 1992. AES “ closed to the Environmental Pr0!e.q(ei Agency (EPA) that it had falsi^gi pollution monitoring reports at its j( Point Project, a coal-fired power pb Oklahoma. The plant exceeded Im’ * 0 sulfate and acid emissions in viola1' the plant’s National Pollution Disc

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COMMITTED TO JUSTICE Elimination System permit. “Franklin’s Insight” reported AES as stating that their employees “doctored a number of water discharge samples” to avoid reporting the violations. At this time,, EPA spokesperson __ r____ t Roger Meacham stated that because of this, AES could face a criminal investiga-■ tion and possible criminal enforcement action.

Given the facts, how possibly can our Mayor make the personal conclusion that AES “had taken great pains to keep all of

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the authorities informed and avoid any improper actions” and that “AES and its corporate officers have been nothing but decent, honorable and trustworthy partners.” A reasonable man could conclude otherwise. Please, Mayor Austin, explain your action. Provide the citizens of Jacksonville with answers to our questions regarding your letter of Nov. 15, 1994 sup­ porting AES. The City of Jacksonville welcome back AES? 1 think not.

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November 15,1994

Re: AES Corporation To Whom it May Concern: When I became Mayor in April, 1991, AES had received a permit to begin construction of a power plant In Jacksonville’s Northside, next to the Seminole Kraft Paper Mill. That permit was predicated upon certain old, pol­ luting boilers closing down when the mill began purchasing steam from AES. In the fall of 1991, Seminole Kraft announced that their newly planned conversion to a paper recycling process would require them to reopen some of those old boners with new pollution control technology under new per­ mits. Due to public reaction and my concern with the potential conflict of Seminole’s new plan with AES’s permit, 1 called for a review into this matter by the Florida Department of Environmental Regulation. That investigation rapidly assumed a life of its own, largely driven by politics and emotion, rather than the facts and laws.

As the investigation unfolded, I confirmed my earlier conclusions as to the facts and history of AES’s permitting process, which had occurred prior to my inauguration as Mayor. It was clear to me that AES had properly obtained ail of its pel mits and continued to comply with all of our pertinent laws and regulations. Furthermore, as I learned more about AES and its leadership, I discovered that they had taken great pains to keep all of the authorities informed and avoid any improper actions. In fact, AES was subsequently exonerated in Federal Court when a shareholder lawsuit was summarily dis­ missed. Likewise, I was advised by staff of the Florida Department of Environmental Regulation, near the end of the proceedings, that AES was In complete compliance with all state and local requirements. I, therefore, assumed that this matter would be concluded satisfactorily on behald of AES. Sadly, vindication came too late as this very controversial process led AES to sell its interest In the plant. .

APS was long a good corporate citizen. They were the victims of an unusual unique, and unprecedented public backlash. I hough I publicly sup­ ported AES/1 must admit that my request to involve the DER late fn the nro-ess contributed greatly to both a political and community overreaction. n-T community’s attitude changed as the truth eventually dribbled out through the media; and in my judgment, Jacksonville would now welcome A£S as corporate partners. In short, I wish they were still here and regret that I contributed to their untimely departure.

None of this is to take away from the successor company. The plant that ; APS began has made a significant and positive contribution to our city. I h ne this letter will allay any concerns anyone may have about AES. AES and to corporate officers have been nothing but decent, honorable and trustwor­

thy partners.

Sincerely,

Ed Austin Gt/°of Jacksonville

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\\ //\\ McMillan announced he wouldn’t seek another % / B /„tern? as Jacksonville’s sheriff, he said his frustration was \ V \W Probably at a peak.” A grand jury investigation into V W o ege? ™sconduct at the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office had

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attempting to choke a ha ?nd handcuffed. Another was accused

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Sheriff McMillan heads the JSO - an organization that was investigated by a grand jury for misconduct.

Then there were the high profile cases: the killing of a store owner; the killing of two unarmed men by an offduty officer; the investigation into a scheme that involved officers paying higher-ranking officers to retire; the controversy over McMillan collecting his pension while still serving as sher­ iff. And the case of officers planting drugs on suspects. Two officers even­ tually pleaded guilty, weakening or destroying about 1,800 cases the force had had under investigation, thereby destroying hours of work paid for by city taxpayers. One was also arrested — while suspended and awaiting trial — for mooning a passing car.

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13,1994 <£>

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The McMillan era began in 1986, when he was appointed sheriff. He was elected the next year and re-elected in 1991.

McMillan said more them once that — even though some people wanted him to run for mayor — he planned to run for sheriff one corvp one more term, then

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amount of police misconduct in Jacksonville to be too high. We reject the defense that the police department is a microcosm of the community, as has been repeatedly mentioned by the Shenff.... it is not enough to have our police department be a microcosm of society.... They literally

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XeVcreated b/sherifTMcMHIan to“I& of th5 — woo ucau ui inc ovi" to evaluate the evaluations of the grand jury.

retire to a cabin in North Carolina. Instead he will retire with just under a decade at the top of the JSO. It seems appropriate, as I voters vuieis prepare prepare to to choose cnoose aa ------successor, to | consider what kind of department that sueI cessor will inherit. A good way to begin is I to look at what that grand jury investigation 5 | found and how the department reacted to • those findings. !

McMillan has said he believes a police > department’s value system comes from the • top, and it s important to see to it that those i values permeate the department. On the J other hand, he told one publication, “With J 2,200 employees, I’m a realist. Bad things • are going to happen. We are just a small J make-up of the community at large." The Only ; grand jury brushed off that logic in its i report’s introduction: “We regard the

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possess the power of life and death. Thus, they should be held to a much higher stan­ dard than society at large ...” The grand jury report also declared: “The JSO has a stated goal to be the best police department in this country We as citizens of Duval-Conns, k------------«--• ...... - wuiuiy. we as ciuzei» ,n Duval County have a perfect right t demand that the Jacksonville Sheriff uiuuauvtru Office be the best. Thiswlll is especially considering JSO will probably b spending morethe than $140 million of public tax dnll’re_____ - million of pub»c mdn $140 tax dollars every year from now on. 1" grand jury went out of its way to estabte that it wasn’t out to get anyone and to p°inl out the positive aspects of the McMillan ar® JSO qua'ity °* most members of the

“Our only goal,” the grand jury report said, “was to find out what was wrong,1

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equipment, computers and vehicles and the introduction of an automated finger­ print identification system, among other things.

We saw many good aspects of the administration at JSO under Sheriff McMillan,” the grand jury said. "Many improvements have been made under his tenure. We could not dispute, nor would we wish to dispute, a claim that he will leave JSO better off than it was when he took over.’ But many of the compliments included phrases such as “during our investigation” and “somewhat belated.”

McMillan said, “it was inferred (sic) sever­ al times that changes and improvements that were made during the course of the grand jury investigation were brought about by pressure exuded by the fact that the investigation was in progress or a con­ cern expressed by the previous grand jury.

If this makes the grand jury feel good, so be it; but it simply is not true.” he grand jury report stated blunt­ ly: “The JSO is not a sacred cow, immune to criticism.” In his rebuttal, McMillan said, “1 can accept and, in fact, welcome fair criticism. ... However, 1 find much of the criticism contained in the grand jury report to be not only unfair but also based on insufficient information and without a clear understanding of the topic being dis­ cussed. ... Much of the criticism in this report is not, in my opinion, fair criticism and appears to have been made with a minimum of information and, in some cases, an obvious lack of understanding of the sub­ ject being discussed. I hasten to add that this, in most cases, was not the fault of the fine individuals that made up the grand jury. They, for the most part, can make no better decisions that the infor­ mation given them.”

Eighteen of the 22 wit­ nesses who appeared before the grand jury “were currently or former­ ly employed at the JSO, or otherwise closely associat­ ed with the JSO. The sheriff himself spoke to the grand jury “four times for many hours.

Someone close to the grand jury investigation called McMillan's initial response “inaccurate and

sheriff. Glover said, “By no means is it just political.” Sometimes the issues got lost among the accusations and sniping — which may have been the point.

The grand jury fretted because “more than 70 officers in the past five years have been terminated or resigned due to crimi­ nal and non-criminal misbehavior or incompetence. ... Several officers who were arrested and even some who entered pleas of no contest and were sentenced for misdemeanor charges ranging from DUI to child abuse were temporarily sus­ pended rather than terminated.” To put it less charitably, it seems that being a crimi­ nal won’t necessarily disqualify someone as a JSO officer. In fact, according to the grand jury, under JSO rules, the following offenses could put an officer on suspen­ sion, demotion or a reduction in pay but not a termination: accepting or soliciting a bribe; helping a prisoner escape; commit­ ting “a criminal act in violation of a State or Federal Statute”; passing information that could “impede an investigation, aid a per­ son to escape, destroy evidence, or remove stolen goods.” Furthermore, while lying during an internal investigation is grounds for firing, the grand jury discov­ ered that “termination was rarely imposed for a violation of this rule.”

One part of the grand jury report that has drawn some attention has to do with education. The grand jury believes a police officer “needs to understand and be profi­ cient in a myriad of subjects: sociology, psychology, law, marksmanship, driving at high speeds, report writing, testifying effec­ tively, and using sophisticated equipment. ... Police work is one of the most demand­ ing, most difficult, and most important pro­ fessional level jobs in our society.” In view of all that, the grand jury said, the JSO's “educational standards for entry into the police force are woefully low.” You must be 21 years old and have a high school diploma or a GED. Only 15 percent of the JSO’s officers have a col­ lege degree. The sheriff’s response was: “The traits of honesty, integrity and good morals are matters of character and upbring­ ing, not education levels. ... To suggest that those with college degrees pos­ sess a higher level of those desirable traits and are, therefore, less likely to commit misconduct is a slap in the face to all who do not possess such a degree."

The grand jury stated that while a college edu­ cation won’t make offi­ cers more honest, “all or nearly all of the good and competent officers who are not college educated would benefit from addi­ tional education. In the long run, so would the public.” The grand jury recommended that “as soon as humanly possible” the JSO require an associate’s degree for new officers and a four-year degree for evetyone promoted to sergeant and higher. By the year 2000, the JSO should require a four-year degree of all new officers.

McMillan responded, 1 personally would never have been allowed to be a

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^McMillan’s second response was to appoint a Grand Jury Results evaluate some of the grand jury s findings.

The president of the police union said the

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The State of the JSO to let 31006 Pressed up the ranks meSinT Position, under the require! “d haveS rTrt- He thinks an °fficer veamof^i °year de8ree within

The committee chaired by Glover „6Ylseda more comP1‘cated recommendahom a two-year degree, 60 semester hours, 90 quarter hours or four years of law enforcement experience for new hires as of July 1, 1995. By 2000, assoociate’s degrees are required of all new officers, sergeants would be required to have 60 hours of college credit. Lieutenants and higher ranking officers would be required to have a bachelor’s degree. Experience would substitute for college credit for everyone hired before July 1, 1995. f\ nother problem cited by the grand jury was training. The li v\ JSO police academy spans 720 hours — more than the state’s Jkminimum standard, but still roughly equivalent to one semester of junior college. (Cosmetologists and bar­ bers must train for 1,000 to 1,200 hours to be certified.) JSO recruits then receive an additional five weeks’ JSO specific training.

That’s about half the time a Miami police recruit spends in training. This creates some interesting divisions of time. Driving techniques, for example, take up 80 hours of training. Ethics and professional behav­ ior receive approximately an hour.

The grand jury believes there should be more training. McMillan agrees “training should be expanded in certain areas; how­ ever, I do believe that it is possible to over­ train at the recruit level.”

The grand jury also had concerns about the background checks given to prospec­ tive officers. Some police departments from which the JSO recruits apparently withheld information so that the JSO might take a problem officer off their hands.

Once on the force, the grand jury felt, “police officers enjoy a level of job security unsurpassed by other law professionals Jn Florida.” The disciplinaiy procedure “is more concerned with the accused officer s ‘right’ to remain employed with the JSO than it is with protecting the public from the unfit or marginally fit offi­ cer. ... gives too much defer­ ence to the officers’ ‘right’ to keep their jobs, and too little deference to public safety and the community at

much it had spent to gain accreditation.

The grand jury endorsed the concept of community policing but expressed reserva­ tions about how community policing’s per­ sonal police intervention efforts will be implemented in Jacksonville. The substation plan — mini-police stations at schools

mum. Typically the Board will decide the outcome of the case after having only read the police reports and questioned the offi­ cer whose behavior is under scrutiny.... It appears to us that a more aggressive factfinding procedure is in order.” The board considers virtually every discharge of a

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Dade, Tallahassee, Orlando and Gainesville, among other departments. Officers with experience or education above the mini­ mum requirements are paid more. In addi­ tion, JSO officers have a healthy benefits package, free tuition for college courses and civil service job protection. Police cars are

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Jacksonville Sheriff Officers must go through 720 hours of training. Barbers and cosmetologists must endure 1,000 to 2,000 hours of training.

weapon by an officer, everything from a shot that kills someone to an accidental discharge into the trunk of a police cruiser.

Sometimes the latter gets more attention

around the city — came under particular criti­ for personal use. In 1992, JSO officers cism. “According to testimony,” the report worked more than 300,000 hours at second said, “these sites were not selected on the jobs in 1992. Officers can retire after 20 basis of any public safety need. Rather, they years (as young as 41 years old) with a pen­ were selected based on polit­ sion equal to 56 percent of their salary. ical considerations such as he defense for this package is the amount of funds being that police work is dangerous, so made available by individual police officers deserve a good City Council members ... the salary. Certainly they do. But, if plans call for little more danger is the yardstick, should staffing at the substations JSO officers be paid more than Miami than the watch commander cops? And it’s worth noting that the officers and a secretary, which, it in the most dangerous positions often have was conceded, will have no some of the lowest salaries in the depart­ significant safety benefit." ment while some of the least dangerous McMillan called that “proba­ jobs come with some of the highest bly the most poorly thought salaries. As the grand jury report put it, 99 out section of a report that “Thus, while danger is a valid factor to con­ reflects several areas of shal­ sider, to rely on it exclusively as has been low, lack-of-depth analysis done is an exercise of emotion substituting before reaching a conclu­ for reason." sion. This section is, by far, If you read the grand jury report, you the worst in that regard. 1 am being kind might think the JSO is overpaid, under-edu­ when I say that it is apparent that the grand cated, under-trained, poorly-managed, jury does not even understand what com­ poorly-disciplined and overprotected by the munity policing is, let alone understand it civil service system. Given all that, it’s hard enough to comment on whether we are to understand why five men would be com­ moving in the right direction.” peting for a chance to head such an organi­ McMillan didn’t address the grand jury’s zation. Maybe they’re driven by an over­ remarks about pay at the JSO. The grand whelming desire to serve the public. Or jury said, “It is not our purpose to criticize . maybe they’ve noticed that Jim McMillan’s JSO officers as overpaid." But they did point annual salary is approaching $100,000. out that despite low entry level require­ That kind of money can go a long way ments, starting pay at the JSO is nearly toward helping a person cope with a high $32,000 — higher than that of Miami, Metro- frustration level.

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GRAND JURY REPORT than the former. McMillan said he is “total­ ly satisfied” with the board’s procedure.

The grand jury said the accreditation of the department — something McMillan regards as a major accomplishment of his administration - may or may not be a good thing. “In sum, we heard no testimo­ ny that offered a convincing rationale for why accreditation was worth its cost.”

McMillan called the criticism “incredibly unfair."

Someone close to the grand jury investi­ gation said the JSO didn’t even know how

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

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Rappin’ Biondie Debbie Harry, former front-woman for Blondie, who has the distinc­ tion of being one of the first mainstream artists to incorporate a rap into one of her songs (“Rapture”), is coming to The Edge, Friday, Dec. 16. For tickets 353-3309.

What to do. Where to go. What to see.

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J*?atSJi§ht folks - another performance of the holiday classic The Nutcracker." The only thing is - this is the official city of Jacksonville performance featuring more than 300 children and adults from Jacksonville, with the music performed by the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra. Friday, Dec. 16-Sunday, Dec. 18 at the Civic Auditorium. For>r performance times and tickets, 354-5547.

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Don’t miss Zombie Birdhouse Friday and Saturday, Dec. 16-17 at The Roadhouse in Orange Park.

See Gravy, one of the hottest blues bands out of Alabama, at Yesterdays in Avondale Thursday, Dec. 15.

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

The Waverly Consort, comprising 10 brilliant IV stngers and players performing on authentic I \\' J reproductions of Medieval and Renaissance instruments, perform “The Christmas St01y ’ F Friday, Dec. 16 8 p.m. at the Church of The I Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St. in V Riverside. For tickets, 389-4952 I

This Week

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To get your organization or event listed in the calen­ dar, please send vital information to the attention of Jay Polachek, Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Highway, Suite 11, Jacksonville, FL, 32256.

Calendar entries should be received at least three weeks prior to the event. Calendar compiled by Jay Polachek. Movie capsules by Pat McLeod.

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MOVIES__________ _ __ ★ Absolutely awful. Avoid at all costs. *★ Pretty bad, though not truly horrible.

Average. Not too bad, not too good. **** Above average. Highly recommended. ***** Excellent. Not to be missed.

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A kid's favorite. Tire Like of choice for fast action and excitement the world over.

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ANDRE. This movie should ^VwborrTseal is Andre." The year is 1962 and a a fishemian s

LOVE AFFAIR. Warren Beatty and Annette Bern star In this romantic tale in which two people fall J"? pectedly and deeply in love, though they aro > engaged to others. They agree to have no corS with one another and meet in three months SfF injured on her way to the rendezvous and he knowing what happened, assumes she chose not ? honor her commitment. Since she cannot abide nJ and neither of them has told anyone else about S affair, it seems they are destined never to meet anJ, But fate intervenes and once more brings them together. Also starring Katharine Hepburn. Rated

Flow DOWN DIRTY SHAME. ★ Keenan |von.

with the family unt' w nter hits, unc [nUj freeze over the ’’^'’'^“^released. The

Wayans (writer/director/star) plays a cool dud wJ dresses nice, makes quips and kills bad guys, a bad movie all around. In fact, It’s a low down dirty rotten shame. Rated R. MARY SHELLEY’S FRANKENSTEIN. Bom from the mind of a woman not yet 20 years of age CLERKS Vn the first film by writer-director Kevin ■Frankenstein" has become one of the greatest horror stories of all time. It is once again adapted to the Smith “Clerks- checks out the lives, l°™s_amb>«>ns screen and stars Kenneth Branagh (Victor and eccentricities of two MSh regj^r^key^^ -"’Frankenstein) and Robert De Niro (Creature). Sticking closely to the book this is probably the best adaptation of the novel ever done. Credit goes to Francis Ford Copola and Branagh for that. Rated R. MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET. Six-year old Susan Walker (Mara Wilson) has doubts about childhood's most enduring miracle — Santa Claus. Susan's mom (Elizabeth Perkins) told her the secret iabout Santa a long time ago, and it seems that Susan’s holiday wishes, won’t even come close to being granted* This holiday season, though, Susan is igoing to receive the most precious gift of all — something to believe in. And she's about to discover that miracles do exist Also staring Richard Attenborough and Dylan McDermott. Rated G. 'A ■ . . • THE PAGEMASTER. Young Richard Tyler (Macaulay Culkin) thinks he sees danger everywhere: in his backyard tree house, in the streets where his friends play and even in his own bedroom. But when Richard takes refuge from a storm in an empty library, he finds himself stepping into a new and wondrous world.

In no time at all, he’s sent on an amaz­ ing animated adventure by The Pagemaster, keeper of the books and guardian of the written word. He meets, among other literary greats, Captain Ahab and then confronts Moby Dick he sails the seven seas with the nefarious Long John Silver and makes the Oiidr Da(a (Brent Spiner) saddle up to the bar and acquaintance of one Dr. Jekyll (and his alter-ego, Mr. Hyde). And before Richard goes back home, a timid boy will have to “Star Trek: Generations.”

V ™ become a remarkable hero. Also starring Christopher Lloyd and the voices of ;Whoopi Goldberg, Patrick Steward, Leonard Nimoy and Frank Welker.

Rated G. THE PROFESSIONAL. ★ French director J-uc Beson (“La Femme Nikita") once again employs flashy visuals and savage action sequences as his major motifs in a film that goes nowhere quick. Th0 story is about a young, abused girl whose family is murdered by a crooked DEA mob, headed by Gary and Jeff Anderson. Rated R 8 ’ sPoonauer uidman. The murders are witnessed by a hitman (Jean Reno) who lives down the hall. Leon takes the pire Lestat, “Interview with The VarZi-®?6a? vam’ gin under his wing and begins to teach her how to oecome cleaner. But, the girl decides to get revenge as successful a translation of a good novel L °Vl ever been. The script is literate and cleveT The I® S OuneJ. 0^n' and Le°n mUSt COme t0 th0 reSCU® PI n D lazing ’ Raled RS very good, the production values aren't h! "n9 “Puir> J^e^lON. Another film by Quentin Tarantino, the direction is impeccable Almost n J class and FiimPZl?'°?"Won best Picture atthe 1994 CanneS to the old story the Nona S,a new,from N9ht Transylvania.

Also of starring Bra^Pit^A oair nfe»K-,V?’ Tarant'no introduces the audience to a Banderas. Stephen Rea and Chrishan sia'ten"^ fiohtnr *Wltted .hit men- a double Crossing the hit?™ he5y?’ his absent-minded French girtfnend. addirtQHme? hirin9 mob boss, his exotic but drugfilm Is based”nCihlTntn^%l^eofJHousCtlty'"Tnly this career m e’ and two Voun9 lovers contemplating a time jaS0n Alexander (Allen PavneS"’ The ,irst ^o"t^:eR7tedRkin9-upres,auran,s ins,ea

r kt^Sh?h 0Wa-T?? SaU °r lime- y“f(«eIy> the only thing bartender Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg) has to offer is Klingon wine in

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inlier. A guaranteed crowd-pleaser. Rated PG*

Calvi nf a'dLor^ hA<USE' Tim Allen s,ars as SCh'o

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w'th his son p ddd tether whose strained relationship a strange acr?H ar ? (Eric Ll°yd) begins to mend alts Eve, the rea k!J him inl° Santa- On Christmas Scott puts nnKh Krinsle falls on Scott's roof and whisked awav ,‘hS iL Then h® and Charlie a£ Krumholth) the hbe .North Pole where Bernard (Daw ,hd suit mus take »,?',ells him ,hat whoever C over the next io r®sponsibilities of Santa. So. arnount of weioh?°n ^s' Scotl Puts on an enormous Pteving Scott is th»Tn(?^rows a full white beard STARgateI'1? ®raal Sante. Rated PG. Pyramids of Giza “StTr??-1. backdroP the ®rea

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oward the end of “Manhattan lems enough with the professional mem­ Murder Mystery,” which played bers of his cast. Helen Sinclair (Dianne for one week last year in Wiest) is an aging diva with a monstrous^ Jacksonville and about the same inflated ego as well as a voracious thirst lot throughout the rest of the country, Woody vodka, paint remover, alcohol of any kind.

Allen laments to Diane Keaton, “Don’t ever She immediately butts heads and more let me say again that life doesn’t imitate with Eden Brent (Tracey Ullman) and ha art.” yippy little chihuahua. The male lead jn in the In context, it’s a funny scene in a very play is Warner Purcell (Jim Boradbent) funny movie which scarcely anyone went whose girth is growing frighteningly out of to see, in large part (1 suspect) because of control, fueled by an insatiable appetite for the embarrassing Woody/Mia business food at any time in any place, even while which found the writer/director imitating being eagerly seduced by Olive.

JoraIv some <:r>mp of his hie own Rime Despite all his protestations of artistic far too cclosely films, par­ ticularly “Manhattan.” 'Woody ‘'oedy didn’t !c„I. look and moral principles, Shayne starts comtoo good as tabloid fodder, iripr and it became promising himself in just about eveiy way hard for many filmgoers to take him sen- imaginable. To his surprise,,____ he discovers mmirt^nn” artHSt) or,.even at a11 <as a that Cheech (Palminter’i), the thug •ng oUfw h^nw^rn^e'ekhCT.^611tUm' ^igne-d ‘° gUard °‘iVe’ isaCtUalFa?± writer than he and a much more uncom­ His themes and concerns and even promising artist. Unlike Shayne, Cheec characters may often be similar, but cerwill maintain his creative integrity al fttms alone'e“sl?tri L°°k at his iast thre* - even murder. rums alone. Shadows and Foo” (19921 costs The dilemmas posed in the filni ar standard Woody Allen: at what price at what price art? In a more ser^°ysL>jI] they are the same questions he explor one of his best films ever, “Crimes ,he Misdemeanors.” In “Bullets Broadway," however, the emphasis is ...

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different men who join forces to unravel the mystery of a curious artifact which could reveal the origin of civi­ lization. Colonel Jack O’Neil (Kurt Russell) and Daniel Jackson (James Spader), a brilliant Egyptologist, trav­ el back in time through a mysterious portal and land in a land ruled by Ra (Jaye Davidson). Lots of fighting and explosions in this one. Rated PG-13.

STAR TREK: GENERATIONS. A mysterious astro­ nomical phenomenon bridging different time frames brings face-to-face the two famous captains of the Enterprise, Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) and James T. Kirk (William Shatner), in the 24th century.

This film brings the cast of the award-winning televi­ •w big sion series “Star Trek: The Next Generation" to the screen for the first time with Malcolm McDowell playf' ing a dangerous alien, Dr. Soran, and original “‘Star ^ai Trek" series cast members James Doohan and Walter Koenig reprising their roles as Scotty and Chekov.

Rated PG. THE SWAN PRINCESS. Classic animation based on the time-honored tale, “Swan Lake," this film is an exciting, delighting, magical fantasy set in a mythical land with majestic castles, forbidding forests, enchant­ ed animals and a wicked enchanter. Featuring the celebrity voices of John Cleese, Sandy Duncan, Jack Palance and Steven Wright. Rated G.

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Players present “The 1940s Radio Show," a musical comedy in the seedy studios of WVO in New York City on Dec 21,1942. This studio is the home of a group of working class entertainers — slightly disreputable and decidedly second rate in all their attempts. The music includes some of the most memorable songs of the era — including “How About You," “Love is Here to Stay" and That Old Black Magic." Dec 16 and 17, 8 pm. 4115 Post St. 384-1580.

ALHAMBRA DINNER THEATRE. “Christmas Carole."

The Charles Dickens holiday classic is back by popu­ lar demand. Come see the Alhambra’s musical ver­ sion that ignites the warmth of the holiday spirit. through Dec. 24. • Performances Tue-Sun, 8:15 pm (Buffet begins at 6:30 pm); Matinee performances Sat, 1:15 pm (buffet begins at 11:30 am); Sun, 2 pm (buffet begins at 12:15 pm). 12000 Beach Blvd. 641-1212.

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AUDITIONS AND CONTESTS MRS. JACKSONVILLE CONTEST. The search is on for the next Mrs. Jacksonville. The woman who wins will represent River City in the Mrs. Florida contest held in Orlando on May 12-13. To receive an applica­ tion, call (407) 837-2669 or write to Mrs. Florida Pageant, PO Box 1080, Loxahatchee, FL 33470-1080.

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WEDNESDAY, DEC. 14

Gold On Ice

Jacksonville’s Largest • ° New Year’s Eve ' 4 Party! .

Olympic gold medalists Brian Boitano, Oksana Baiul (pictured) and Viktor Petrenko star in an adaptation of a holiday classic — the Nutcraker on Ice. Based on Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker,” the show fea­ tures lavish costumes and Tchaikovsky’s immortal music.

One show only, Wednesday, Dec. 14 at 7:30 p.m. in the Jacksonville Coliseum.

For tickets, 632-3373.

OTHER FILMS_____________

TRAVEL FILMS. “The Spirit of Sweden," Dec 14. • “Germany's Captivating Villages" and “The German Way of Life," Dec 21. • Main library of the Jacksonville Public Libraries offers free travel films every Wed at 2 pm in the second floor auditorium. 122 N. Ocean St.

630-2665.

THEATER A CHRISTMAS ___________________ CAROL. The St. Augustine Amphitheater is the setting for the production of this itionai uiciow.------traditional classic story adapted by Marc McCrary from the Cbaries Charles Dickens classic. Dec 15-18, 20-23 and 27-30, 8:15 A1A pm. $6-$10. Located Anastasia State >u iHa Qf Park, Hwy 1/2 mileatsouth of the St. Augustine AlligatorSouth, Farm. 471-1965.

BABES IN TOYLAND. River City Playhouse presents w _ the Victor Herbert musical play, “Babes in Toyland,"the Victor - - Hemen o nmhiw flncj.^ Dec iQat2 pm. This rni()Ilui colorful, on Dec 16-17, 8 pm and Dec 18 at 2 pm. T holiday extravaganza is sure to delight b '■'hiiHren and adults and put everyone in a festive moon. $8 50. 1026 Edgewood Ave. South. 3W-883O. THE NUTCRACKER. The F're'^°anh’orchestra oresented by the Jacksonville Symphony orchestra and the City of Jacksonville Dec 16, 8 pm, uec

D

Kings College

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Married women between the ages of 24 and 56 who have been married for a minimum of two years by July

1,1995 are eligible to enter.

POETRY CONTEST. A $1,000 grand prize is being offered in a free poetry contest sponsored by the Famous Poets of America. The contest is open to all people living in the Jacksonville area and deadline for entry is Jan 1. Prizes will be awarded Mar 28. To enter, send one poem of 21 lines or less to: Free Poetry Contest, 1626 N. Wilcox, Ste. 126, Los Angeles, CA 90028. For more information, call

(310)572-6616.

ARTWORKS. The second annual Artworks show is scheduled for May 19-21, but applications for participation are now being accepted. Any artists interested

397‘7°°7'

The Marriott at Sawgrass presents their New Year’s Eve VJcJlCl Gala with fabulous musical entertainment by .

LvC WILLI lauu.VM----------------- --------NIGHT MOVES in the Masters ballroom, Entertainment by ’ ” with ..l.’.i complete Las Vegas Style Casino, High LOCAL MOTION in the Tournament ’Hall 40 dance music with SEABREEZE Energy Disc Jockey in the Heritage Ballroom aiind1 Top n in Champs. This not-to-be-missed event includes party favors, one drink ticket, a champagne toast, hors d’ oeuvres and more fun than per person tax &. grat. included you can shake a noise maker at!

$60*

™E

NeW year’s £ve £)inner

ROOM

Bring in the New Year by savoring a delicious six course dinner in our breathtakingly elegant five star restaurant. Also included in the package is admission to the New Year’s Eve Gala.

H25

per person tax &. grat. included

aPPli‘

UdllOIl UtjaUIIIIU lo Udi I z-vj,

cation is . ...£7deaonne - ------ ” WIND '"uoh lkin ENSEMBLE. pnremblE. On On Dec Dec 20 In the FIRST COAST bana room, the Fh First Coast Jacksonville University band Wind Ensemble holds auditions for adult and Wind Ensemble holds auditions for adult amateur am professional '■ wind and percussion n^musslon musicians musician for preind their substitute/as needed list, list. sent openings and LI1U mo" _____ —. n from nfiFAudition will consist of a prepared selection from performer’s repertoire and a demonstration of proficiency )n scales and sightraading. The Ensemble is a nonsalaried, non profit organization of adult musicians, positions are fi||ed by ilwitation on|y upon completion of an audition. The remaining performances for this

tesssawsgajs sar “ pal guest artists Martha Butler^and U Cuman- For tick

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gtNGING AUDITIONS. Private auditions for tenors.

Take our Elevator Home

Room Package includes admission to the New Year’s Eve Gala for two and oveiimight accommodations in one of our beautiful resort rooms.

•In advance, $70 at door.

••Room package with dinner at the Augustine Room also available.

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Our New Year's Eve Gala

per coup|e plus tax

r MARRIOTT AT________

Please call for details

Cancellations make after December 23rd at 5:00pm arc non-refundablc Guests must be at least 21 yrs of age.

k-------------------- RESORT

1000 TPC Blvd., Ponte Vedra Bench

For Information and Reservations call 904/285-7777 ext. 7810 or 6021 FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994<J>

i

Have An Angelic Christmas

This Christmas,

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wants to include ',n their E?dh n ?n me month of Apnl Earth friendly activities going on n tne event as they can. If your organiza '°n is P')o Ja9 Grogan. during Earth M°n'd' send a Sle 229 Jacksonville, 396-4164.

fSta.

CLASSES AND GIFT CERTIFICATES

totormaton must be reyj slS TheLtion/s oldest ci^

5800 BEACH BLVD.

TREK

CORNER OF BEACH BLVD AND UNIV. BLVD js: "Kid's bikes starting at SB9.S5"

ILeofe To The §■ For gifts & jewelry extraordinaire

usa

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^^XX^^ht^s phy will be awarded cash prizes. Deadline foj ®ntiy is Dec 15. No more than three photos per “*e9°^ ™ 7 be submitted and contest is open to St Johni County residents only. For information or entry form, call 824

9437.

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Take Time OuTooo For a great holiday buffet for the whole family Adults $7.95 Seniors $6.95 Kids Ages 3-11 $3.50 Toddlers under 3 EAT FREE Choose From: Baked Ham Roast Turkey Combread Stuffing Mashed Potatoes Candied Yams Giblet Gravy Salad Bar Assorted Vegetables Pumpkin and Pecan Pie Fruit Cobbler And More

NIGHTS OF LIGHTS. Historic St. Augustine will be seen in a new light this holiday season. The wateris edge colonial village will be aglow with twinkling sil­ houettes of the old city plaza, the Bridge of Lions, the marina and countless shops and eateries in the his­ toric district. There will also be Victorian Christmas carolers, storytellers and sugar-plum fairy dance recitals. Through Jan 31. Downtown St. Augustine. 1800-653-2489.

NATURALIST PROGRAM. Tales and Trails, Dec 13.

Children nine and under can listen to a story and then go on a nature walk along the river. 9:30 am, Arlington Lion’s Club Park, 4322-1 Richard D. Gatlin Rd. • Jacksonville’s #1 Recycling Program, Dec 11.

Jacksonville's recycling program was rated #1 in the country last year. Come talk with Jackie Eldridge of Jacksonville’s Collection and Recycling Division to find out what we are doing to get even better and what we can do. 3 pm, Blue Cypress Park Clubhouse, 4012 University Blvd, N: • Reindeer Making, Dec 14.

Children 12 years and under and their adult compan­ ion can learn about and create the Florida reindeer. A simple holiday craft for all. 10 am, Mandarin Park, 14780 Mandarin Rd. • 630-3554.

AUTHORS READ. The Book Mark welcomes Charlotte B. Reid who will read from her new book “Tiki, Spirit Unbroken,” Dec 13, 8 pm. The book tells a vivid story about a young woman coping with Hodgkins Disease. • The Book Mark is at 299 Atlantic Blvd, Atlantic Beach 241-9026. • Gainesville writer John Cech, along with St. Augustine illustrator Sharon McGinley-Nally, have published a new children’s novel entitled “Django," and they will be at the Booksmith ate« rLJ h° ipS! for a s'9nin9- • Booksmith is located at 8 Cathedral Place, St. Augustine. 829-2975.

BEACHES CHRISTMAS GALA. The Beaches Arts Foundation and the City of Jacksonville Beach present he third annual Christmas gala Dec 14, 6:30 om at the Manott Ballroom at Sawgrass. Santa Claus will be on hand, a Beaches artist show and an auction with door pnzes. A cash bar is available and hors d’oeu vres are provided. Black tie optional $25 270

production of The Nutcracker." Sec 14 7 30 nm a

the Arts Lta“Xz^50" Sch°°'

GmT^cX^

7:30

Christmas Day 12-5pm reservations suggested

Wall Nesto^MusicVS

Dec

and Verses is a happening of poetry, stories anl?3 music and good vibes. Every Wed at 7:30 pm^7' King St. 0 CROSS AND SWORD ART FAIR. Peruse lots of ax ferent art pieces and collectibles at the Cross, 1 Sword Amphitheater grounds every Sat from 8 am a Admission and parking for the public is free. on-

SfOKTS___________ _ JU BASKETBALL. The Dolphins takTonTi University of South Florida Dec 17. • All Dolphin hom. names are played at the Jacksonville Coliseum more information, call 745-7407. ' ‘or FLAGLER BASKETBALL. The Saints face Knox. |i Dec 13, 7:30 pm. • All Flagler home games are plaved in the Flagler gym, 26 Granada St. 829-6481.

UNF BASKETBALL. Elmhurst College invades the UNF arena Dec 19. • All University of North Florida men's basketball games are played at the UNF Arena 4567 St. Johns Bluff Rd. 646-2833.

JAX RACEWAY. NHRA sanctioned drag strip gates open every Fri at 6 pm. S8. • Oval track racing every Sat, 6 pm. S3-S10. Located at exit 128 off 1-95 at Pecan Park Rd. 757-5425.

MOTOCROSS RACING. Track is open every WedSun for practice, when not racing. Hilliard International Motocross, 5 miles north of Hilliard in US1. 845-2054 or 268-2376.

BIKE RIDES. Sat rides: 7 am from Champion Schwinn, 1025 Arlington Rd. 5-10 miles; 26-30 miles.

724-4922. • 7 am from Champion Schwinn, 175 Blanding Blvd. 30 miles. 272-9100. • 7 am Iron Roosevelt Blvd. Winn Dixie 25-30 miles. • 7:15 am from Champion Schwinn at the Beaches, 1303 N. Third St. 20-30 miles. 241-0900. • 8 am from The Bicycle Store, 1871 Wells Rd. 30-40 miles; 60 miles.

278-1150. • 8 am from Woodland Acres Health Clinic, 465 Acme St. 565-1038. • 9:15 am from Lake Shore Schwinn, 2108 Blanding Blvd. 15-20 miles 384-7945. • Sun Rides: From Open Road Bicycles, 4466 Hendricks Ave. 25 miles. Mon & Wed. 6:30 pm. • 40 miles. Sat, 8 am. 636-7772. • Mon Rides: Champion Schwinn, 11447 San Jose Blvd. 30 miles. 262-5744. • Tues/Thurs rides: 4:15 pm from European Street Cafe, 2753 Park St. 20-25 miles. 387-0704. • Wed Rides: Training Races, 6:30 pm from Seminole Woods, Palm Coast. 25 miles. • Tue & Thurs night rides are at 6:30 pm. Participants should meet at Pablo Plaza in from to Hungry Iguana. 25 miles — medium to fast pace. Sun morning, 8 am at Hungry Iguana — 40 miles, medium to fast pace. Hungry Iguana six mile time trial is first and third Thurs of each month, 6:30 pm. S1 entry fee. Rides set up by American Bicycle Co, 1404 S. 3rd St, Jax Beach. 2464433. • Friendship Park to Westside, 35-40 miles.

Ride type A,B — 9 am. 721-9707. • Annual Luminaria Ride. Tour the Riverside area and view the Christmas lights. Meet at European St. Cafe on Park St. Dec 18, 6:30 pm. 264-7168.

K3D STUFF___________

.

PROFESSOR CHATS. Professor Chats once again features stories for young preschoolers Dec 14 & 21. * Lyle, Lyle Crocodile pays a special visit to Little Professor Dec 17 at 10 am. • Professor Chats holds ^lsstory *'me 10 am- Little Professor Book Center, nn^i?.Old St- Au9ustine Rd. 292-2665.

MOTHERS MORNING OUT. TLC offered to kids etween the ages of five months and four years. oftni?9s Thur and Fri from 10 am to 2 pm£ Ave- BaPtist Church. Call Mary at 737-2477 or 096-7745.

KID FLIX. The Little Drummer Boy," Dec 17.« Alt uonnections at the Cummer Museum of Art presenIs □aid mVery Sat' 2 pm in lile Round Room. Free with 0630 USeum admission. 829 Riverside Ave. 355-

IeRrefiEinH.'hLLNATURE CENTER. This 40-acre preInd alh L heart of Arlington offers lots of trails, tows TouraT'bl t sucd as Jacksonville's Nature Center, am-nnnn r°red ,he ,irst Sunday of every month, W

created by artists like Chrissy P°In»e ”pH?liday toilets Karabinis, Ronnie Land and malv mho ~nd Laura carols will be sung by Jack Tam°ibSrS' Dhristmas □owning Trio. Vivations b*M^iah and ,ha Dave G.Zone, 1827 N. Pearl St 355-Mir 17' 7 P"William Huggin displays his landin' ’ ^ocal artist 3«RaJ,d on canvas at BiscotUsPen '°rals' s,in

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gALLERIES & EXHIBITS —

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1-295 and US-17 Orange Park 264-1211 FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

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Professors new reading nroiinDHCil7' 2 Pm-' Little

SisSitss 11250 Old St. Augustine Rd. 292-2665 9ustlne P|aza,

ARTS ANDAugustine. 825-1999.BEACHE" Dec 30. • Hour?

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COLOURS Watercolors and oil paintings bv daiTv i°l alTiSh an,d Joe Tay,or- •HourPlpei; Augyusla 8'15 olo7.C,°Sed 9B AvileS SL SL

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,h^°JA- “Decki,n9 the Halls” is a show of two and three dimensional student artwork through Jan 6. The show represents all of the school’s visual arts discieI'XS’ ,ncllidin9 Photography, painting, drawing, sculpture and printmaking. • On exhibit during school hours. Douglas Anderson School of the Arts, 2445 San Diego Rd. 346-5620.

ECCENTRICS. “Holiday Spirit” on display through Dec. • Also on display are a variety of holiday greeting cards and gifts. • Hours: 11 am-5 pm, daily; closed Mon. 11-D Aviles St. St. Augustine. 826-4422.

FCCJ GALLERIES. Mon-Thur, 10 am-4 pm; Sat, 10 am-2 pm. Kent Campus, 3939 Roosevelt Blvd Building E, Room 112. 381-3674. • South Campus Gallery: Mon, 10 am-9 pm; Tue-Thur, 10 am-5 pm; Fri, 10 am-1 pm. South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Building N, Room 100. 646-2016. » Downtown Campus Gallery: “Holiday Festival of Student Art,” through Dec 14. Mon, 10 am-6 pm; Tue-Thur, 10 am-5 pm; Fri, 10 am-1 pm. Downtown Campus, 101 W. State St., Building A, Room 2117-B. 633-8236.

FRAME SHOP ART GALLERY. “The Absolute Florida Exhibit” features the art of gallery artists In a series of terrestrial and celestial images. Through Dec. • Hours: Mon-Sat, 9:30 am-5 pm. 3545 St. Johns Ave. 389-6712.

THE GALLERY AT SAWGRASS VILLAGE. Hours: Mon-Thur, 11 am-6 pm; Fri-Sat, 11 am-7 pm; Sun, 1-6 pm. 870 Sawgrass Village. 273-8755.

THE GALLERY BREWSAUGH. Featuring the South’s finest artists. Now on view are Elizabeth Brewsaugh’s hand-built coil pots. Also on display are the works of Elizabeth and Nicole Brewsaugh, Grant Ward, Bill Slade, Audrey Kirschner, Laurie Coppedge, Billy White, Everett Draper and many more. 0 Hours: TueSat, 10 am-6 pm; Sun-Mon, by appointment. • 319 North Tenth Ave., Jacksonville Beach. 249-6303.

GALLERY CONTEMPORANEA. “Art is the Gift that Gives Pleasure Foreverl” Affordable art and craft objects by Southeastern artists for holiday gift giving, through Dec 21. • Hours: Thur-Sat, 10 am-2 pm.

Others by appointment. 526 Lancaster St. 359-0016.

HEARTWORKS GALLERY. “The Fabulous Christenson — Pierre Show”: Durable goods, art and furniture by Kevin Christenson and paintings and color creations by Christian Pierre.0 Hours: Tue-Fri, 11 am5 pm; Sat, 11 am-3 pm. 820 Lomax St. 355-6210.

HEAVEN ON EARTH A CAFE. Hours: Tue-Sat, 11 am-3 pm; Tue-Sun, 5:30 pm-10 pm. 363-14 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-6242.

ISLAND ART ASSOCIATION. Manlyn Eflem s water­ colors are shown through Dec. • Hours: Mon-Sat, 10:30 am-5 pm; Sun, 1-5 pm. 205 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. (904) 261-7020.

1CVA- GALLERY 88. “Up Close and Personal . Small works'in all media, through Dec 15. • Hours: Tue-Sat. 10 am-6 pm; Sun, 12 pm-5:30 pm. 2 Independent Dr.

Sweet Repeats

GREAT FRAMES Don’t trust those memories to just any frame. If you’re giving one as a gift, you’]] probably want one for yourself.

s GREAT f^HANG UPS R GALLERY ( Kingsley Square*Orange Park L—1 272-2787

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JUICE ’N JAVA EVENTS. Landon Walker leads seve^discussions entitled Jazz Live Wed at 7 pm • “Corn/ Charm By Design — By Chance, works by photographer Gerry Charm, through Dec 27. • Hours: rl x Xn 19 am- Tue-Thur, 7 am-1 am, Fn-bat, i am-3 al; Sun, 8am-12 am. 4444 Hendricks Ave. KE7MCTVHOUSE AFRIKAN ART GALLERY, "images

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by Lucy Menard, ABO ,MHours: 10 am.6 pm daTyOni'80AA1 A just north of the Vilano bridge in St. Augustine. 824-9297. allehy |NC .Holiday Group P.A-S.T.A• . watercolors. pastels and oils.

Show : Featuring w r b 10:30 am^ pm; ?a;°190hame5 3pm; Sum T pm-5 pm. 214-C Chariotte

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FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13. 1994^>

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Trout Fishing in America

MBtRY CHRISTMAS

Two guys who met driving a truck are quickly becomingfolk legends.

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FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

M U

By Arvid Smith i

I

ne does not usual­ ly associate folk music with the big name’ category.

Well, stand back folks. Trout Fishing in America plays St. Augustine on Saturday, December 16th at 8:00 p.m. for the St. Augustine Art Association at their hall at 2.2.

Marine St. 1 mention folk music because an entire stable of marginally known artists are packing houses and moving product these days. Marginally known to the industry but not so to hundreds of thousands of record buyers. In this scene, Trout Fishing in America is at the top of the tree. A duo, they tour constantly and have gar­ nered reviews that seem to only touch on their excellence.

You have probably already sussed out their name. The classic Brautigan ’60s prose work. Everyone calls their sound "unclassifiable," but how many times have you heard that one? Folk music r is Trout Fishing in America — a duo who gleaned their not pop, yet addresses populist name from a Richard Brautigan novel. concerns. TFIA aim squarely at the heart of day to day sensibilities with »<iui “Pulp Fiction.” It would have fit like glue, tu--,j • ■ ■ - j -- —j “ _____________ the old minstrel ethic that it must be enter- Same feel, seamier message. taining to cet get their thino thing across. cn So populist tainina In addition to all of the above, TFIA has as as pop. Take it or leave it, it’s the substance focused a good deal of energy to work of folk music the world over.

The duo of Keith Grimwood and Ezra aimed at children. “Mine” was a recent Idlet have been humping ifsince 1979, so release that was put out for youngsters. they’ve had to live the struggle of being the Songs like “Boiled Okra and Spinach” (eat your veggies!) andRig, the’’ counting “18 next big thing since then.

Wheels on a Big could wellsong, put the a Bigstatus Rig,’ ”on could well put the” In the folk music scene they have Wheels boys intoonceleb “Sesame Street. boys attitude into celeb status on a“Sesame Street. become the big thing and they now enjoy This of cultivatiing wider audience —— '.uuirUUUlg Cl VVIK-lK^l -' the dual luxury of reviews that laud their should keen TRI A cnlvanf frvr UUUIV* traaYC— tO live showmanship as equal to that of their should keep TFIA solvent for years to come. polished recordings.

Ezra Idlet went to college to study bas­ “Who Are These People” is their latest ketball Keith Grimwood played douproduct and it hits on social issues, relation- hip ble basswhile wift Al. the Svmphony'w hncr »Houston • ---“Sertous AboVt Y<L"tnd Z??' made friends while driving^ equipment OfcXdEn fcra?s voe^l dL ??lnTK°f '°r their band> St- Elmo’s Fire. Once CD has horns, organ and the whole sha self daf?d.ran out of 8as- theY struck out °r but it takes quality chops to pull if off live At ^(flc‘?ncy and TF1A began. the same time, “There’s a Panther' m S(n^F 1en the7 have become majors in Michigan" features a downright snarling inteori^ wo,rld while maintainin8 environmental saga complete with the sohk Th™ and commi>ment to their skillsof Duane Eddy^ art’a’billy class r X P.7 are new to North Florida and hope to sound underneath: ® ‘ ultivate it here. Bring the family for an “Test drivers saw the panther at the eveainS of lasting fun.

Chrysler proving grounds, it was din-inn m , Augustine's Dave Dowling will open hunting season. He was out there on the m^|S^°'VjPave ‘s tbe bassist for Salt Run track. And he knew if he went in there he’rt h‘ sb?u'd prove an effective opener with be safe from the hunters, he’s an uncannv " S£nS'na,s and tales of Florida folk life. dn*4mLlTle^'.S.a.P^!her m Michigan" on the show and don ( that make your Halloween’’’ 8 ’ ^, a St- Augustine Art Association is up After hearing this I’d wished that Don' Zeke Williams at (904) 8240^144. of n Lnoa,renllnowould'veuseditinpace ChX m'SS this one- Give y°urself 3 of Dick Dale s Miserlou” for the credits of C slmas Present. □

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398-3161.

ST. AUGUSTINE AIRPORT. Current exhibit includes original watercolors by Judy Lavoie and Leigh Murphy and photography by Nancy Roca. • Open during regu­ lar airport hours. 824-1995.

ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION. See the Sister Cities Christmas tree, decorated with ornaments donated from organizations, all over the world, Dec 11 Jan 1. • Tue-Sat, 12 pm-4 pm; Sun, 2 prn-5 pm. • 22 Marine St. 824-2310.

TEMPLE OF GREAT ART NO SPITTING. “3rd Anniversary Show" through Dec. • Hours; 11 am-5 pm daily. • 82 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. 825-0837.

31 AVILES ST. GALLERY. Featuring the watercolors of Dick Zayac. • Hours: daily, 12 pm-4 pm; closed Tue. 31 Aviles St. St., St. Augustine. 829-6405.

UNIVERSITY GALLERY. "Visual Arts Faculty 1994": Current works by visual arts faculty members, through Dec 14. • Hours: Tue-Fri, 9 am-5 pm; Open until 8 pm on Thur. University of North Florida Founders Hall/Bldg. 2, 4567 St. Johns Bluff Rd. 646-2534.

VANDROFF GALLERY. Robin Howell's collection of photo realistic works in graphite pencil depicting Jewish lifestyles and traditions is featured through Dec 29. • Hours: Mon-Thur, 6 am-10 pm; Fri, 6 am-5 pm; Sat, 1 pm-5 pm; Sun, 8 am-6 pm. Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd. 730-2100.

CONTINUING: Artisan Gallery. Limited edition prints,

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Once you put'■ it on, novsr take it off.

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212 N. Laura St. Jacksonville, FL

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COMMITTED TO JUSTICE’

antiques. 1316 Beach Blvd. Jacksonville Beach. 2472211.

MUSEUMS________________ ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM. JU art students have a juried art exhibit running through Jan 7.

Approximately 45 students will present work in a vari­ ety of mediums including painting, photography, draw­ ing, printmaking, graphic design, computer art, sculp­ ture, ceramics, glass and metals. • Permanent collec­ tion includes Oriental and European ivories, preColumbian artifacts, Steuben glass and American, European and Oriental porcelain. • Guided tours offered every Tue, 2:30 pm. Hours: Mon-Fri, 9 am4:30 pm; Sat, noon-5 pm. Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd., N. 745-7371.

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY. Guided tours of Florida’s only oral history museum are avail­ able Mon-Sat at 11 am and 2 pm. Trained docents recount the incredible history of Florida’s Golden Isle from the first native settlements to its 19th century heyday as a busy seaport and birthplace of the mod­ em shrimping industry. In addition, the museum offers guided tours of the historic district, special lectures and student programs. A research library and refer­ ence room are open Mon-Fri from 9:30 am-5 pm.

1 "Music From The Motion Picture Ready To Wear

'•

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(Pret-A-Porter)"

Featuring Ini Kamoze's smash hit Here Comes The Hotstepper.

t

(PRET-A-PORTER) j ;■

A Date With the Smithereens

The Smithereens, the alternative band with a style all their own, will play some of thensmash hits, like “A Girl Like You.” Friday, Dec. 16 at the Morocco Shrine Temple.

Opening act is Sponge. Doors open at 7 p.m. $5. For tickets, 353-3309.

Housed in the old Nassau County Jail, the museum is located at 233 S. 3rd St., Fernandina Beach. 261-

photography, posters. 58-A Spanish St.. St. Augustine. 824-2751. • Avenue Antiques & Gallery Diverse works; 3564 St. Johns Ave. 388-1995. • Avenue Books & Gallery. Watercolors by Hugo Ohlms. • Oil paintings and silk wearable art by Kathleen Mulholland. 172 1/2 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. 829-9744. • Berlsford's Art & Frame Gallery. Works on paper, 505 W. Adams St. 356-4780. • The Collectors Exchange. 11111 San Jose Blvd. 260-2787. • Cosmopolitan Gallery.

Eastern European art, 120 W. Adams SI. 353-2308. • Federal Galleries. Aviation & marine prints, 1527 Third St. N., Jacksonville Beach. 247-1119. • Galleria Machu Picchu. Sculpture, painting and ceramics, Pueblo Espanol, 2nd floor, 47 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 824-2056. • Hampton Gallery. Multimedia works and duck carvings, 2411 S. Third St., . anuuuo ___247-1050 • Irene Gallery. Parfum Jacksonville Beach.

I'diial tou7s**1141 W. Adams - -------lab and antique arts gallery.

Provideoi. free group and nne Gallery.

Contemporary paintings• indivi"*" 01 Lerbs tours.Art 1141 W. Adams St. 358-3206. watercolor and art classes, 3551 US 1, Marianne /'-'"t»moorary paintings seuipiutine 797-6680. • Millet Gallery.

andNo. sculpture, watercoio, — • Moultrie I* %04) 823-1456.

S. 7, Monistic St. Augustine.

797-6680.

• works of Lisa Ann Millet.Creek 51-D Post-impressionistic works ofPaintings, Lisa A Art Gallery pottery and Cordova St. (904) 823-1456.

• Moultrie Cr rhariotte St St. Augustine.

829-2142. ctudlos Fineaiiorv *•* Gallery.

Paintings, pottery Multi-media, 1315 N. Third St., sculpture, 218 farh C..— — . <”9-2 246-7133 •' The-William Trotter Historic ships and waterfront . Sunshine Gallery. Mulli-mecfc .J. Third St. Jacksonville Beach.

Jacksonville Beach. 246-7133. • • nrivate Maritime Studio. Historic sh scenes 1011 N. Third St., Jacksonv,,.^ 941-8845. • Worth Antiques Gallery. Local private collector selling $70,000 Hummel collection; Eclectic

7378.

ART CONNECTIONS. Sunday Afternoon Movies, 2:15 in the Round Room, and Tuesday Film Series, 7 pm in the Round Room.•Art Connections, an interac­ tive art education center for all ages, features Light Strokes, Recollections II and a Walk-Through Painting. • Hours: Tue, 10 am-9:30 pm; Wed-Fri, 10 am-4 pm; Sat, noon-5 pm; Sun, 2 pm-5 pm. 829 Riverside Ave. 355-0630.

BEACHES AREA HISTORICAL SOCIETY. The soci­ ety displays an original section foreman’s house, com­ plete with furnishings; tours available, groups wel­ come. Hours: Mon-Sat, 10 am-4 pm; Sun, 1-4 pm.

Pablo Park, 425 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville Beach.

Plus music from: The Brand New Heavies The Cranberries "Ready To Wear Terence Trent D'Arby (Prei-A-Porier)," Deep Forest the new (Eric Mouquet, Michel Sanchez) film from Janet Jackson award-winning M People director The New Power Generation Robert Altman.

CeCe Peniston Sam Phillips Film opens The Rolling Stones December 25th.

Salt-N-Pepa Super Cat U2

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In stores December 6th.

CLAY COUNTY HISTORICAL MUSEUM. Located in 246-0093. the historic Clay County courthouse, the museum features a country store, old fashioned kitchen, vintage clothing, photos and artifacts of the area. Other items include a china and lantern collection, working telegraph, semaphore and warning gates. Hours: Sun. 2 pm-5 pm. $1-$2. 915 Walnut St, Green Cove Springs.

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Available At Blockbuster Music

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART. “New York. New York”: 284-9434. prints by more than 20 artists of this century will be on display through early Dec. • “Mrs. Cummer's Trunk,” explore the past of the Jacksonville philanthropist. • “Netsuke from the Cummer Collection," more than 100 miniature sculpted figures that were used as part of Japanese dress. • Explore the Cummer Gardens and permanent outdoor sculpture. • Hours: Tue, 10 am-

COLUMBIA

’■’*"**

:. Moten Picture Photography and Artwoik Trttr 01994 Miramax Films All Rights Reserved ■CO,,®.- M U &

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FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13. 1994<j>

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ONE YEAR IN LAKEWOOD, TWENTY-ONE IN THE BUSINESS

In completing our twenty-

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serving

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It's not a lifestyle... ><■» arv TvA Xp<be

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music and knows the players.

Someone like Arvid Smith. .

Between gigs, Arvid keeps 74,000 of his closest friends tuned in to the music of Northeast Florida.

Tune in, turn on and keep up.

With Sounds.

In Folio Weekly.

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discount all day on Saturday

December 17th. Come by to see all our new merchandise and do some Holiday shop­

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holiday

SHOPPING

Hm Ktertls The perfect places tofindjust the right present for the person who has everything.

SUE STERKENgURG he true shopper looks for a chal­ lenge when buying gifts for loved ones, particularly at Christmas.

The mall — yes, well, it’s so pre­ dictable. Boutiques — too expensive. WalMart? Come on. You wouldn’t buy Christmas presents the same place you buy your Metamucil and oven cleaner. Besides, there’s no challenge to any of the afore­ mentioned options; no element of haggling, no war-whoop of victory when you’ve dis­ covered an item that you’re sure the receiv­ er doesn’t have, won’t receive, probably doesn’t need, but will marvel that you found such a thing in the first place. The chal­ lenge is to unearth something both inex­ pensive and original. And the best agora for wheeling and dealing is none other than — a flea market.

With eight locations around Jacksonville and one in St. Augustine, a veritable gold­ mine of gift possibilities is only a stone’s throw away. The flea market is the perfect forum to test your haggling skills, meet some interesting people and they sure beat those strip malls and mail order catalogs.

My Christmas shopping sidekick and I combed the Market Place on Ramona Boulevard and had the complete flea mar­ ket experience — and found some pretty good gift ideas.

We began at a trailer-type booth offering “Quality Running Suits;” $29 each or two for $50. The vendor also offered cassette tapes for $4.99 apiece. Warner, the vendor, was happy to talk to us after he was sure we weren’t trying to trace his merchandise.

“I’ve sold more tapes than suits,” he said.

“Mine are the original tapes, not those boot­ leg tapes.” Warner, who has sold his wares in the Market Place for over five years, says business turns brisk around the holiday seaSOIWe found video tapes, ceramic holiday knick-knacks, Christmas tree photo gal­ leries, small toys and trading cards at Hattie Parker’s stand, which was manned by W Since the booth encompassed about three

S’vinyl boots. “We’re ho^ to bnng in people looking fora good de ■ Johnny Furman, a fix’ *f°r *16 c yea« was S'PUce was ture in the Mar and tools • nint and tools, scurrying abou^emng P. P* belts Furman hand-toois h leather item key chains and m ^^ declined interyou can thmkoLhot* of )eather stnps view, pointing “]>ve t too may that would ts, \ W He f b61tSt ‘d to NsbX old Pick up parked

work. When asked if he had a pick up in Christmas business he answered impatient­ ly, “Of course I’ve sold a lot for Christmas — I’ve been here 16 years!”

A flea market just wouldn’t be a flea mar­ ket without homemade arts and crafts.

Dorothy Flournoy and partner Marshal!

Nunley sell handmade dolls, hair acces­ sories, handsewn photo albums and

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much better now than before, where they had a store in a high-crime area of town.

One of the flea market’s main attractions is the varied selection of wares.

From handmade crafts to recreational items, the varied selection was head-spin­ ning. One flea market booth, manned by Connie, offered “water-cooled tobacco products.” There was also a sign promi­ nently displayed to potential customers that said, “Do not refer to these items as onehitters, bongs etc; we Will Hot Sell to you ”

Connie claimed the water-cooled tobacco products were wildly popular Christmas items and had sold over 100 of the smaller “tobacco” pipes. With a little dramatic flourish, Connie extracted one of the smaller pipes from the display case. The stem of the pipe was carved into II the shape of a buxom ' I naked woman, the j breasts providing a \| handy grip for the ’ | thumb, the rear end a good place to wrap the rest of the fingers. Gee. Wouldn't that make a great gift for Aunt Edna!

Fin 1looking ” _ for ' ’ ' that i. ' --------------....

E ever-elusive extra■ special gift idea, we 5' IL LI came upon a sign that read: “Give ep Something Different This Christmas — Karate Lessons!” The sign belonged to ' hl Young’s Karate, a mar'• h tial arts organization that had renled a booth at the flea market for A vendor exhibits one of the many different items you can find at flea the weekend, hoping to hit an untapped markets - a Bud Lite can bi-plane. source of new mem­ bers. Young Smith, one handglued nativity scenes, of which sales of the proprietors of the father-and-son i ’s Karate, Young have been slow to get started. “We just sold team running -- Young ----Jr, was more than happy to ..... talk. an expensive bride doll which was going to Smith, ,.,u------- .--J :< When asked if marketing u:_ his business at be a gift for a grandmother,” explained Nunley. “The money’s cornin’ in, but slow- the flea market was successful, an enthusiastic Young replied, “Even if we don’t get ly. Next door SSelma elma Krauss, who any sales, we’ll have the word of mouth who also handmade neni item booth, a- hanamaae uwut, said she fares -----a ht- out." Young bobbed and bounced as if he some 'karate ' ■ ‘ moves, “to tie better selling smaller items. “I make were demonstrating pay $15 to be seen by a crowd of about 200 . __ jow _ ”w»», Wai •icc Avnlains.

I keeD people . . — we’re close enough _ to the school ranoiib emu —-------« my glue gun and ribbon with me to make that people will pass it along.” Young ehiff ” ^hp noint “If we get good results, we may Although business paused, S] , _t_ Althnnoh business come back again.”

And that is the hope that keeps both buy“&auss “d

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ers and sellers coming back to the flea mar­ ket — the opportunity to provide a good deal for buyers willing to bargain for one. And when you see bargaining in action, it is a beautiful thing.

F\ /~\ y Christmas shopping sidekick ,y4|' and I were looking around what ■ ▼ H looked like someone’s garage.

U U Old electronics were piled high on cheap tables in this odd little room. Hifi’s, reel-to-reel tape recorders, radios, old TV/stereos and camera equipment were stacked in dusty piles; it was junk electronic nirvana. My Christmas shopping sidekick *’n*' condition MiVrsn mlir,afr»r dug °a rr mint Nikon cliHo slide Hi duplicator, worth well over $300, out of a box of cam­ era stuff. Discovering that the duplicator was exactly what his brother, a photographer, was looking for, my sidekick started to wheel and deal.

“How much is this — thingy?" he asked, wrinkling his brow at the vendor. A short, bearded, very tanned man came over and inspected the “thingy.” “Well, what is it worth to you?” The vendor asked my side­ kick. “Ten dollars?” my friend replied.

“Okay.” The vendor accepted. The exchange of money for the duplicator was made, and my friend walked away with a $300 value for $10.

Not to say that everyone walks away hav­ ing gotten the deal of the year. The rewards come with digging through piles of ugly glasswear, out-dated clothes and cheap romance novels; diligently sifting through tacky jewelry and sometimes overpriced antiques. Then there’s always the caveats attached to any items purchased from the flea market with moving parts. One time 1 purchased a hard-to-find Elvis Costello tape, “Blood and Chocolate,” at the St. John’s County Flea and Farmer’s Market in St. Augustine. The vendor swore up and down if 1 wasn’t satisfied 1 could bring the tape back for a refund. 1I wasn’t too concerned, because the tape was still wrapped in cello­ phane, so I could be fairly sure the tape inside was good. I was wrong. Not only was the tape a very poor bootleg, but it didn’t even contain the songs on “Blood and Chocolate.”

Most flea market shoppers are undaunt­ ed by these risks. Ramona Rhodes, a flea market regular, found a 25-inch console TV for $225, a find she plans to give to her boyfriends’ mother. In Christmas’ past, Rhodes says, ’veFjsher bought most my child ,s toys here“I_ Prjce sluffof „ She child’s toys here — Fisher Price stuff.” She says she gets 50 percent of her shopping done, and enjoys scouring the flea market by herself.

This year, if you haven’t gotten all of your Christmas shopping done and you have a spare Sataurday or Sunday to poke around, test your treasure-hunting skills at any one of Jacksonville’s numerous flea markets. It takes guts. It takes the haggling skills of a pro. But when you leave knowing you got a bargain, the day’s been well spent. You'll leave with flea market fever.

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

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ART

Last Minute Gift Idea!

The Draped Form Not your typical drapery.

Step Into "Hiss"tory at the Jacksonville Zoo Inscribe your name, a friend or family memberr's name on a brick and become part of the new Jacksonville Zoo! Y

Your brick will 9 be one of 2,500 9hL bricks which 1 make up an eye■ catching snake that coils its way from the parking lot into the new zoo.

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Hurry! Only 2,500 bricks are available. Once they're gone, they're gone!

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For more information please call the zoo at 757-4463 ext. 145.

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

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lu acrylic thatthis internally framescene the leftwith and right sides lhe r, DrapedA Pprm F^m, ” recent ' N ^ncj of charming a gothic paintings on canva y arched entablature that features a relief Bishof, now on exhibit at ReM A extending across its top 1 Gallery Bishof’s laudable concern with a pictures artist’s talent while indicating ways to grow^ Seven of the tenpainiingtTdispiayed a^a^ ‘° treat drapery as the subject ilself or as an An acrylic on canvas from a slightly ele­ enveloping, covering fabric. The main chal­ lenge of painting drapery is to tease the vated viewpoint, as though from a step lad­ viewer, to create more than what appears der, “Anna” depicts a long-limbed woman i casual' observation. ” " in Of .L the paintings of and curled tabby cat asleep on an unomain casuaitself, u “Linen 1” excels , above , drapery the mented bed. Above the bed hanging on others for the complexity of its concept, the the wall, an abstract sculpture of pointed coherency of ---------------------------------w 0 0 d en its interact­ spines angling ing parts and off slightly the consis­ bent; stem tency of the rods-seeming artist’s ren­ oriental in its dering. With i quiet natural drapery folds evocation. of differing Economy of character in design is the the left and only adorn­ right halves ment in the A A of the com­ otherwise position, the plain bed­ uniformly room. Bisho! buff colored 1 employs a linen dis­ basic yet sub­ plays com­ tly effective paratively ■ color tech­ warmer high- x; ■ nique of estab­ lights and lishing an shadows at ' overall medi­ the left Y um-light matte because of — brown or tan presumed Bishof’s "Anna." of medium incandes­ i n t e n s ity cent spotlighting while the right half S®T.ain? coolerin hues due to the general across most of the picture into which she diffused studio lighting. paints darker details and ouuuwno shadows or upon iiguuud, . .

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-g f-'.d .. the middle of the -^..ipuoiuon, relie — todicallv with u/ith mouthlike indentations, . rapidly brushed white highlights and ener­ periodically acts both as a divider and connector of the gy accents that indispensably transform an painting’s two sections. Least successful of otherwise inactive, sleepful scene (just Bishof’s drapery paintings, “Linen 111” dis­ imagine how visually unexciting it would plays fold patterns that are too repititious in e without these stimulating white details) character and too monotonous in hues exhibitio °f the m°St HVely pain,in8S ‘n the and their restricted hue intensities, ranging from a few Chinese red highlights to Once again, appreciate how essential is smokey rose or muted salmon pink shad­ an enhancing presentation, in terms of nat- ■ ows.

Study7 •!"

111" offers tions Though of color “in?"

OIIers more more varia varia-­ frLT ,flnished' "’arm sandlike color of the tions of color contours °thp intensities, '?ensitles- fold fold shape shapes and &V Vertical and horizontal members contours, the drapery dranpn, is often fuzzy-not mchtding an integrated ledge across the firmly edged and the linen sketchy the linen sketchy his Pa*ndng’s components harstreaked. thP nJze'Ogether dettef than any other in One of the smallest examples in th< xnibit. 1 encourage the general viewer. show, “Odalisqne” is a g-~., K' ln the ie gem, icon pleasingly satirical of this neo-classical since Pr,YSpeciY art students to view “Draped S\Ca' *con !ecent paintings by Nanci Bisho' Ingres. In its svmmpfrsymmetrical ' since anrt mounting, an a„Lu.. exhibitions. □ muted striped shorts an ui-reclinpfL sleev white shirt semi-reclines onal.Sl!Ort.ucu 1 ed a day bed in a . „ hv Nan£1 classical interior with pillaster column, pinaster1 by an Bishof “Draped Form, December ” recent Pa29 '^'at nSK sp^i.Arl^ exotic Floridian . note inlprip' injected u.column, the - large through g.jO 1-leaves of a cropped rubber plant. Setting off Mon-Fri. 8:30 a;%dNj°nddc’ks AoY the relaxed casualness of the young lady tosY'A0 li°wd>b* assisted PfePa< are three dimensional relief half columns ® “

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Purchase your brick for only $100 and your tax-deductible donation will bring us one sssstep closer towards building the new zoo!

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it

By Ted Weeks

1

SSY'Y

cSave $65,000.

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St. Augustine Community Orchestra DECEMBER 17th 7:30 pm

Fine Dining at our 7 Restaurants & Founders Food Hall Free Parking On Saturday and Sunday (first two hours free) Jacksonville’s Official Christmas Tree 45 ft With Over 15,000 Lights

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Convenient Holiday Shopping At Specialty Shops Like Laura Ashley, The New Expanded Musicland, and The Toy Factory.

Community Choir Performances Dec. 19th-22nd ll:30am„ 12:30pm. & 6:00pm. !

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By Ted Weeks

“Shabbat Candles,” consider how this white arge photo realistic ^mag of Jewish hvmg and worshiping ag^^ background t0 thrust | will for Ct will for jacksonville towards the viewer the white covered Isooiu° cahiuiuvu exhibi ion Iby -----Ja the woman praying intently before the Shabbat rf .uV/ds ,„k.„ m ™„«ii now showing at the Note hQW HoweH dearly artist, Robin Howell Vandroff Gallery of the Jewish Community graphite the pair of burning candle flames Alliance through December 29. 1 hese and their warming aura of light against the superbly rendered soft pencil drawings, i ___ woman’s white garment. The pristine delitrating both everyday and special celebrainspired cate interplay of her head cloth’s diamond tional lifestyles and traditions, were during Mrs. Howell’s most recent six month . pattern, the white floral and botanical designs of the lace curtain and table cloth trip to Israel a year ago. and "the light reflecting off the silver candle A favorite, “Invitation to the Bar Mitzvah, a..a------------------- ... ( depicts a grinning 13-year-old young man in sticks, embossed wine cup and loaves of appropriate white tallus (prayer shawl) and challat bread baked for this special occa­ yamulka riding piggy-back enroute to the sion, all collectively create a pure spiritual temple past the Wailing Wall on the shoul­ ambience for the private praying woman.

One of the most intense pictures of the der of his brother, an off duty Israeli soldier.

The exhibit’s tour-de-force, this sizable draw­ entire show, “Prayer at the Kotel,” basically arranged in blacks ing, obviously a fin­ against whites, ished artwork (like the crops sharply the other 13) and not a study for some other image of a bearded piece, demonstrates worshipper covered Howell’s outstanding in unsullied white control of medium who leans against and resultant clarity of the Wailing Wall as details. Observe care­ he — with face fully the subtle con­ creased in concen­ trast of illusionistic tex­ tration — contem­ tures: feel in your plates the scripture. imagination the Unaware of the younger brother’s artist or viewer, he hair, the smooth appears heroic leather of his tafflin “to be looked up to” (the head strap and — as we indeed look prayer box) and the up at him from a thin material of his knee high vantage white yamulka; sense point; his monuthe soft fabric of the mentality results older brother’s shirt from the composi­ compared to his tional cropping of coarser denim pants his left shoulder, and the shiny hard­ ness of the pistol grip lower torso and legs of his slung rifle. that extend unde­ Notice how the artist fined, beyond the composes and adjusts Howell's "Prayer at the Kotel." right and bottom busy patterns so they edges of the paper. orchestrate with, not This same cropping, negate nor neutralize however, pulls the each other; the checkerboard shirt tbo .. . , viewer psychologitafflin s strap wound around r 1 be catty nght up close into intimate proximity. tnough we become absorbed into his pnunder ^Cred meditation. black and gray unique creations a? these 14 by Howell remind us section of King Solomo 6 T^ surv’vif*g fin? k that drawings can be significant not h^de^orks themselves. They need left ot of the brothers seWtinno sekPn™o1? phl!e t0 ‘he Since’th= ihP? 63 *ur °r oii> Ol1’ aci acly V|lc lic or watercoiujSwatercolors. ien 5Zaplllte u” tures whose Hebraic Sers an°m the SCrif> guish 188 Hfr™3" eye Can reP°rte<1|y dist'j miraculously in mid air hlfn! ppear to float black n dlffLerent values between white and The artist knows campriPPutban 100 even with an exacting brothers since they are sr>n/ i'C^e tw° need nnt J6 ad|sence of color in a picture friend who lives in Jerusalem0 i^er close these dm detr>menta! as evidenced in

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If you’ve eyerdreamed of being a ball kid for a real live basjc^^ll gam®, nbw’^ your chance!

Folio Weekly is sponsp'ring'ball;kid of the week. Check this out- Four kids will be picked as runners for each Jacksonville University home^basketball game. If picked, you'll get an official Ball-kid T-shirt, 2 tickets for Mom and Dad (or whoever yop want to bring). Find out just how big these guys really ar^toclose. Itll be a blast you can tell your friends about. Don’t wait! If you are in 2nd -Sth grade get it in! clip

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Ths Week calendar listings C 0 ..... N~.... T TN..... U '...E... D

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MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY. “Florida Portrayed," a private collection of early Florida art, including paintings, prints and memorabilia. Hours.

Daily, 10 am-5 pm. Adults $3.50; Children $1. 15 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 826-0415.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE AND HISTORY. 3-D Laser Shows: experience an exciting sight and sound jour-

THE SMITHERREENS. Sponge opns for rock veter­ ans The Smithereens Dec. 16, 7 p.m. at the Morocco Shrine Temple. $5. 353-3309.

MESSIAH SING. The Clay Choral Society, The Arts Alliance Center, Inc., SC&A Design Services and Island View Baptist Church invite people from the community to join in on this special sing Dec 18,

rshee^USXmplaAyi'nhg-^ •own Pp7aza9l|°4n,he d°™ 825-5033 S Au9us|ine.

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JAMdXS'” ,h„rou9h Jan 8. • exhl,?? a ^-Columbian eHxoh^oT;p^r/«nd^p'ayl0-

OYSTERS ON THE HALF-SHELL FETTUCCINE DU JOUR SEAFOOD JAMBALAYA

Boulevard Center Dr 398-8338

ce^ncv,lle hIstorS

thoNTER Exhlbl,s ranging from the Timucuan Indians to the P!?yed by the Navy allow visitors to walk FRIDAY, DEC. I6 through Jacksonville’s history Hours: Mon-Sat, 10 am-5 pm bun noon-S pm. Free. East of £.e Ma,n St. Bridge, Southbank Rrverwalk. 398-4301. wieni?.NV,LLE MAR|TIME MUSEUM. The museum has two exhibit areas with static dis­ plays. Scale model ships, paint­ ings, artifacts and photo dis­ plays relating to maritime histo­ Join the St. Johns River City ry provide rewarding enjoyment Band as they present their and education concerning our annual family holiday concert seafaring past and present.

Free. Hours: Mon-Sat, 11 am-7 in the Florida Theatre Friday, pm; Sun, 1 pm-5 pm. The Dec. 16 at 7:30 pan. Joining Jacksonville Landing, 2 the SJRCB as guest soloist is Independent Dr. 355-9011. • Mon-Sat, 11 am-4 pm; Sun, 1 soprano Ginger Haller. $3-$5. pm-4 pm, closed Tue. For tickets and information, Southbank Riverwalk Pavilion, 396-0020. west of the Main Street Bridge 398-9011.

JACKSONVILLE ZOOLOGI­ CAL PARK. See Mahali Pa Simba, “Place of the Lions,’ one-acre facility in the south­ ney into another dimension. The shows include east comer of the African veldt, “Laser Holidays in 3-D,n “Laser Drive in 3-D," “Pink home to three lions. • Zoo visitors can have their pho­ Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon in 3-D" and “Laser tos taken with live reptiles at the new photo booth, Zeppelin in 3-D." • “BATSIII" The most extensive $3. • "Living Graphics." From 11 am to 2 pm daily, exhibit on bats. • “Body Tech: The Science Behind zookeepers will walk throughout the zoo to talk with Medicine.” A new travelling science exhibition which visitors about the animals, what zookeepers do, the breaks new ground with its interactive exhibits that construction work at the zoo, plans for the future of allows visitors to explore how the principles of the zoo or anything else the visitors might want to dis­ physics can be applied to physiology. Showing cuss. • Two maned wolves are on exhibit and can be through Dec 30. • “Ancient Ways: The River’s First seen from the zoo train. • “Elephant Encounter” is a People” focuses on the life and culture of the 30-minute demonstration of how this amazing pachy­ Timucuan people before the arrival of the first derm is cared for in captivity, from bathing to feeding.

Spanish expedition in 1512. • Live science demon­ Hours: Weekdays, 11:30 am; weekends and holi­ strations offered. • Show times vary. • Museum hours; days, noon and 2:30 pm. • The Okavango Village, Mon-Fri, 10 am-5 pm; Sat, 10 am-6 pm; Sun, 1 pm-6 which houses Sicilian burros and dwarf zebu among pm; $3-$5, members admitted free. 1025 Museum others, features a boardwalk along the Trout River Cir. 396-7061. that leads to the petting area where African pygmy goats reside. Alligators and crocodiles are fed every Sat, 2 pm. • Open daily, 9 am-5 pm. 8605 Zoo Road;

STEAMED MUSSELS CHICKEN SUDERS FRIED SHRIMP

Family Holiday Concert

zo 8n-*R4 787-4483 KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM. “Original Manuscripts by Charles Darwin" runs through Dec 31. • The museum exhibits one of the world’s largest private holdings of original documents relating to history, literature, music and science.

Hours: Daily, noon-4 pm. Free. 101 W. First St. 356-

2992.

LIGHTHOUSE MUSEUM. Constructed in 1874, the oldest surviving brick structure in St. Augustine hous­ es exhibits that tell the light keepers’ stories. Hours: Daily, 10:30 am-3:30 pm; children may visit if they are at least 7 years old and 4 feet tall, $1.75; Adults $3.50. 818 Lighthouse Ave., Anastasia Island.

LIGHTNER MUSEUM. “Victorian Christmas." All 829-0745 three floors of the Lightner will be decorated with oreenery and wreaths. Antique toys will be brought out of storage and the Victorian Village will be trans­ formed to resemble a holiday shoppers haven.

Through Jan 29. • Permanent collections of decora­ tive arts and material culture from the Victorian era, a natural science room and more. Hours: Daily. 9 am-5 pm. $4 adults; $1 children ages 12-18. 75 King St.,

CONCERTS

FJC CHORALE. The FJC Chorale, under the direc­ tion of Don Thompson, will perform a reunion concert Dec 15, 7:30 pm at the FCCJ Kent Campus Auditorium. Former members of the Don Thompson era of the FJC Chorale have reunited to present the masterful, inspirational and romantic music they once performed throughout the world. Featuring harpist Debbie Thompson. 3939 Roosevelt Blvd. 464-1346.

FAMILY HOLIDAY CONCERT. The St. Johns River City Band presents its annual Family Holiday Concert in the Florida Theater on Dec 16 at 7:30 pm. This popular event will include renditions of traditional holi­ day favorites as well as a few seasonal surprises. $3$5. 396-0020.

DEBBIE HARRY. Best known for her work with the group Blondie, Debbie Harry is embarking on a solo career. See her Dec 16 at The Edge. 845 University Blvd., North. For tickets, 353-3309.

TROUT FISHING IN AMERICA. One of the top folk­ pop music duos in the country, and undoubtedly the most unusual, Trout Fishing in America is bringing their unique songs and stage show to the St. Augustine Art Association on Dec 16 at 8 pm. $10. 22

Marine St. 824-8144.

St. Augustine. 824-2874.

STEAMED SHRIMP CRABLEGS FRIED CLAMS

SMOKED SALMON SALAD BAR ASSORTED FRUITS & CHEESE OMELETTE STATION WAFFLES EGGS BENEDICT

COMPLETE DESSERT TABLE

Free glass of Chamfwgne, Mimosa or rehearsal at 3 pm and concert at 4 pm. Island View Baptist Church, 900 Park Ave., Orange Park. 2644742.

COMEDY_______ __ THE COMEDY ZONE. Trip Wingfield. Dec 13-18. • Regular showtimes: Tue-Thur, 8:30 pm; Fri-Sat, 8 pm and 10 pm; Sun, 8 pm; S5-S8. Ramada Inn Mandarin, I-295 and San Jose Blvd. 292-HAHA (4242).

VOLUNTEERS________ CITIES IN SCHOOLS. Volunteers are needed to tutor, be homework helpers and work with at-risk stu­ dents. Cities in Schools is a drop out prevention pro­ gram for at-risk students. Call Lee Davis at 354-5918.

CLERICAL VOLUNTEERS. Volunteers are needed to help with clerical and other stockroom duties. For further information, call Emergency Pregnancy Services at 387-7510.

MOSH VOLUNTEERS. The Museum of Science and History Is looking for volunteers in the following areas: science and education demonstration, history education and demonstration, information table and exhibit docents, MUSE box developer/assistant, kid­ space assistant, discovery room assistant, receptionist/cashier, planetarium assistant and membership/ special events/mailouts. The next formal volunteer orientation and training is Jan 28, 9 am. Call Shorty Robbins at 396-7062 if you're interested.

MDA VOLUNTEERS. Volunteers are needed for the Muscular Dystrophy Association office to stuff envelopes, collate matenals, make calls and organize program supplies. Individuals and groups welcome.

739-3964.

ANIMAL LOVERS. The Safe Animal Shelter of Orange Park needs dedicated volunteers to provide clerical assistance, care for the animals and help in fund raising. For more information call 264-7233.

CLERICAL VOLUNTEERS. Volunteers are needed to help with clerical and stockroom duties. For more information, call Emergency Pregnancy Services at 387-7510.

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FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

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CHRISTMAS VOLUNTEERS. The Salvation Army needs Christmas volunteers to man the Red Kettles throughout the Northeast Florida area. Other areas include angel trees, Christmas stockings and the toy shop 353-0971.

HABIJAX. Anyone wishing to help Habijax reach their qoal of completing five new homes by Thanksgiving may call their office at 632-0949.

LITTLE TALBOT ISLAND VOLUNTEERS. Volunteer at one of Jacksonville’s most pristine beaches. Talbot Island State Parks has nearly 8.5 miles of beaches that need your help in cleaning them. For more infor­ mation. call the ranger station at 251-2320.

PARENT AIDES. The NE Florida Exchange Club Family Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse is seeking volunteer Parent Aides who would provide inhome support to families who are at risk for abuse.

724-4455.

JUNIOR ACHIEVEMENT. If you are interested in becoming a Junior Achievement volunteer during the upcoming school year, call 727-7800 from 9 am-5 pm weekdays. All volunteers receive full training before entering the classroom.

FOOD BANK VOLUNTEERS. The Second Harvest Food Bank of Northeast Florida is looking for volun­ teers to help sort canned and packaged reclaimed foodstuff. In order to help out, call Lutheran Social Services at 632-0022.

VOLUNTEER JACKSONVILLE, INC. A range of opportunities for volunteer work is available from teaching youths to transporting patients to and from medical treatment. 4049 Woodcock Dr. Ste. 100, 398-7777.

ARLINGTON JAYCEES. If you are interested in community service, leadership training and making new friends, check out the Jaycees. They meet the second and fourth Thur of every month at Red Lobster on Arlington Expwy. 743-9990.

LEARN TO READ. This literacy volunteer organiza­ tion trains tutors to teach an adult basic reading skills.

Tutors meet with their students on a weekly basis. 92 Riverside Ave., 353-0288.

LIBRARY VOLUNTEERS. Teenagers are being recruited for two to four hours a week by the Jacksonville Public Libraries to assist others in learn­ ing about the library, helping the staff with children’s programs and working behind the scenes in a library office. 630-2417.

OMBUDSMAN. Those interested in helping improve the quality of care in nursing homes, adult congregate living facilities and adult family care homes can con­ tact Lisa Sierra, Coordinator for District 4 Long-Term Care Ombudsman Council at 723-2058.

COMMUNITY FRIENDS. Becoming a community friend for a Pine Castle resident means providing the opportunity to develop a one-on-one relationship with a non-handicapped person. This commitment only requires a few hours a month taking your friend places and doing things with them. For information, call 733-2650.

WORKSHOPS, LECTURES _

and meetings______

Art We don't know who most of them were. But their work has had a profound influence on world cullur ■ Spirit Eyes. Human Hands’ is an eye-opening story of the art of African people. Along with til's exhibit at the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens is Lively Times And Exciting Events-.

IS 29 drawings by the renowned, self-taught African-American artist Bill Traylor.

This show of spiritual art from spirited artists is made possible by support from AT&T Universal Card Services and the National Endowment for the Arts.

It will run from October 20th through December 18th, at the Cummer Museum, located at 829 Riverside Avenue. For information about lectures and events related to this exhibit, call 904-356-6857.

Don't miss this chance to glimpse a different way of looking Universal Card Services at the world—right in Jacksonville.

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UMPIRES NEEDED. There will be an open meeting or the Jacksonville Umpires Association on Dec 16,6 pm at the Duval County School Board auditorium. cv?oRaHdIW0n?en interested in umpiring baseball and sottball for high school, middle school and youth agues are invited to attend. No experience necesPrudential Dr. 346-3427. a2,LDL-!TE D,SC°VERIES. Microhabits. Dec 17,8:30 ‘ t St- Au9ustine Amphiteatre presents a KV Programs for area families and visitors.

RidH© dlscj)vJery is designed to sharpen observation thA u,2e2delt0 eni°y the outdoors, at home and in niite'mM??-’ The first hour features slides and handna nro1 h »ps In observation, followed by a one-hour and IikWa k-’ clos‘n9 with a quiet time for questions south ^?KSl2ns- $2’$4- Highway A1A South, 1/2 m* QUIT quo™,A9ustine Alligator Farm. 826-1381CmLi?M?-K NG PROGRAM. The Unity Church to those Living 0,,ers a Smoke Free program for at 4 ™'na t0 quil smoking. The group meets Sun 2156P ,hS Churoh’ 2777 Race Track Rd. 2^

be°co™l"°T<SHOP'

If you want to learn how to Zone'in th stBnd uP oomedian, come to the Comedy Pm For m6 ^?mada Inn at Mandarin every Sun at

•African Art at the Harn Museum: Spirit Eyes, Human Hands. ©AT&T 1994

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FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

Spivak ?nd line " a* Come tap y° 8vaiV Sun from 6 pm Mandarin. to 7I0 pm^ThVis a"u rnM i to 7‘.qn nm This is 3h

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needed- 634-0402.

730T128 °. The 0 Ol8Vi2,St' F°r ,n,om«ion^ rail

730 2128. The Orange Park Toastmasters mept«?

Oh the first and third Tues of each month at Hanley's Restaurant, in the minl-plaza on SR17 across from 9623 6haVen Retlrement Community, at 7 pm. 264IlOEUSR?!n.Em^ GR°?P 0F DEBT0RS ANONY­ MOUS. If you think you have a problem with money, overspending or undereaming, you’re welcome to join us. Our pnmary goal is to stay solvent and help oth®rs *° a,ch.iev® solvency one day at a time. St. Matthew s Lutheran Church in the conference room behind the church. Every Thur at 6 pm. 6801 Merril Rd. ANXIETY DISORDER SUPPORT GROUP. People experiencing anxiety-related problems like panic, phobias and generalized anxiety, along with their loved ones, may attend. First Mon of each month.

7:30 pm-9 pm. Memorial Medical Center, First Floor' 730-0777.

DIALOGUES. The Jewish Community Alliance's adult series of discussions on contemporary subjects.

• The Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd. 730-2100.

CARING THROUGH SHARING. These monthly meeting put on by the Baptist Women's Pavilion are support groups for couples experiencing infertility problems. Meetings are held every second Mon from 6:30 pm to 9 pm in Suite 207 of the Howard Building, Baptist Medical Center. 390-3096.

PSYCHIC DEVELOPMENT. Kai Mora the psychic holds psychic development classes every Fri evening at the Cosmic Church of Truth, 500 S. Edgewood Ave.

HEALTH & FITNESS_______ HOLIDAY BLUES SUPPORT. The Mental Health Association sponsors a holiday depression support group Dec 13, 6 pm at 5930 Arlington Expy. 7214282.

CHILDBIRTH PREPARATION CLASSES. The Childbirth Education Association is offering classes at the Jewish Community Alliance Dec 13 & 20 at 6:30 pm. $30-$40. 398-5200.

AIDS CARE STATION. Non-food supplies are distrib­ uted regularly to HIV-infected individuals. 355-1123, 354-5201.

CATARACT AND GLAUCOMA SCREENINGS. Free screenings for these eye diseases offered Mon-Fri, 9 am-5 pm at the Baptist Eye Institute. 1235 San marco Blvd. 393-2020.

DEPRESSION SUPPORT GROUP. The Mental Health Association conducts support groups for those diagnosed with depression, clinical depression or bi­ polar disorder. Tue evenings, 6 pm-8 pm at the River House, 5930 Arlington Expwy., 721-4282.

ELDER CAREGIVERS’ SUPPORT GROUP. They meet the first Wed of each month from noon to 1 pm at the River Garden/Wolfson Health and Aging Center, 11401 Old St. Augustine Rd. 260-1818, ext.

207 FLORIDA GEORGIA BLOOD ALUANCE. All blood types needed; healthy individuals age 17 or older, at least 110 pounds, who have never had hepatitis are eligible. Donations are especially Important on week­ ends and holidays. 536 W. 10th St. 353-8263.

HOMEOPATHIC STUDY GROUP. Learn new^ways tn health the last Tue of each month at Wood Chiropractic & Alternatives, 5627 Atlantic Blvd. Ste. 2.

memorial Health educat.on classes.

Memorial Medical Center offers a variety of classes ° the oublic • A series of childbirth and Baby Care Basics courses are offered monthly. There are also coupes on breastfeeding, sibling Preparation ,and

QUIGLEY House o (Qr women wh0 House sP°ns0^, ®®dSv P?e in abusive relationships, have been or currendy ^n a Tue evenings

Mid™? Wednesday evenings in Orange Park.

SUPPORT GROUPS. ° Adolescent Diabetes, 798-8195. ° Adoption Search, 398-4269. ° Adoption Support, 289-7579. ° Adult Diabetes, 798-8195. ° AIDS, 246-7269, 353-4357. ° AIDS, Sharing Together Group, 358-6747. ° AIDS, for surviving family and friends, 798-8340. ° AIDS Care and Education, 632-0022. ’ AL-ANON, 350-0600. ° Alcoholics Anonymous, 399-8535 or 399-8537. ° Alcoholics (secular), 721-9707. ° Alzheimers, 285-1055. ° American Cancer Society, 398-0537. ° ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders,

At this hectic time you deserve to pamper yourself.

Treat yourself to a massage, facial manicure & pedi­ cure, shampoo cut & Style and makeover or give our Day Of Beauty as a gift to the one you love.

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If you are a motivated stylist with clientele and

looking for a change in 1995, please consider the most progressive salon in the area.

The Brass Door Salon & Spa CROSSROADS AT THE AVENUES

292-5271

730-7575. ° Arthritis Foundation Support Group, adults in their 20s, 30s & 40s, 353-5770. ° Aslan House, for the chronically or terminally ill, their families, and their health-care providers, 353-4357. ° Beginning Again, bereavement, 879-1802. ° Bereavement Support, Hospice Northeast, 398-4724. ° Beyond The Horizon, stroke survivors, 783-3749, Ext. 33.

0 Bold City Club of the Deaf, 725-1665.

0 Bosom Buddies, breast cancer survivors, heart-line: 396-5973. ° Bridges Counseling Program, Hospice Northeast, 398-7433. ° Calvert, Home School Support, 384-8054. ° Cancer, 730-2295. ° Cardiac problems, 387-7563. ° Caregiver support group, 387-7450. ° Centering, for stress relief, 269-5433. ° Cocaine addicts and families, 241-5133. ° Co-Dependents, 268-5670. ° Co-dependency Recovery Group, 743-9036, 641-8177. ° Compassionate Friends, bereaved parents, 387-7481.

Crime Victims, 398-9270.

Crisis Phone Line, 778-0000 Depression, 396-1364.

Drug Information and Referral, 632-0600.

Endometriosis, 390-1075.

Family of Mentally III, 384-2364.

Hubbard House, 354-3114.

0 (IBD) Inflammatory Bowel Disease, 387-9235. ° Infertility Support Group, 390-3096. ° Injured Workers, 396-9911.

“Interracial Families and Singles Alliance of Jacksonville, 768-7436.

0 Jacksonville Literacy Coalition, 633-8248. ° Jacksonville Parents of Twins, 292-4866. ° JASMYN of Florida, 779-1848. ° La Leche League, breastfeeding, 743-8405, 247-1769. ° Lesbian/Bisexual Support Group, 646-2528. ° Leukemia Society, 1-800-955-4572. ° Lifeline, a crisis phoneline, 778-0000. ° Living With Cancer, Self Help Group. 730-2295. ° Mended Hearts, cardiac, 725-7754. ° Methodist Hospice, bereavement, 798-8340. ° Military Families, 388-0553. ° Multiple Sclerosis, 262-MSMS. ° Narcotics Anonymous, 723-5683. ° National Herpes Hotline, 361-8488. ° National Organization for Women, Inc, 398-9960. ° New Beginnings for Younger Widows and Widowers, 798-8340. ° Nursing Home Support Group, 739-0877. ° Overspenders, 396-4846. ° Overeaters Anonymous, 632-0600. ° Parents F.L.A.G., Friends of Lesbians and Gays, 737-3353. ° Parkinson Support Group, 272-6171. ° Parentlink, support group for parents. 724-4455. ° Parent Survival Skills Training, 296-2447. ° Parents Without Partners, 246-0365, 779-5184.

0 Pregnancy Crisis Center, 387-6494. ° PWA/HIV Support Group, 824-1152. ° Quigley House, 284-0340 or 1-800-339-5017. ° Rape Crisis Hotline, 355-7273. ° Rape Survivors, 646-2528. " Recovery, Inc., 247-3299. : SHHh' SeXtoX Sof Hearing. 725-1665.

R^PE^WISIS GROUP. Hartje Stress Clime(ConducK

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" Terminally ill. their lamilies and survivors, 353-4357.

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Been playing Santa for your family? Well, your work is finally finished. Reward yourself, the Mrs. and all your little elves with Christmas dinner at The Cove.

Roast Turkey with Apple Almond Dressing, Giblet Gravey and Cranberry Sauce $1295 Honey Glazed Baked ham $1195 Above Specials Include: Tbssed Salad Country Style Mashed Potatoes or Candied Thms Country Style Green Beans Loaf Honey Hut Bread Pumpkin Pie or Cherry Cobbler Children under 10 $695 (Other menu items also available)

Call for reservationsv 111

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Sexual Assa? Lp^nviiie The group therapy ses° Tourette Syndrome, 268-3234. ° VOCAL (Valuing Our Children and Laws),

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778-4014,

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° Women’s Issues, 646-2528. u

Ave' 783-4478.

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13. 1994

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Club C ill Jacksonville s own allemnative/punk band, joins Perennial Herb Dec 15. ° Brunswick’s metal band Third Rail gets together with another metal group from Atlanta called Bom Against and Radio Berlin Dec 16. • 101 Damnations and Bom Against, Dec 17. • Core Chaotic, the Sakajaweeda of Miami, opens for Dee Snyder’s new band Widowmaker Dec 18. • New Generation Reggae, Thur.0 1324 University Blvd., N. 745-0625.

AMELIA ISLAND/ FERNANDINA BEACH Brass Rah Saloon. Tom Selden, Thur. • Andy Hale, Fri. • 12 N. Second St. 261-6320. . Palace Saloon. Don’t miss the pro­ gressive sound of Einstein’s Attic, Dec 15-16. • 117 Centre St. 2616320.

Ritz-Carttea. The Dynamic Les DeMerle Band featuring Bonnie Eisele plays high energy, big-band jazz tunes, Wcd-SaL Ritz-Carlton Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100.

AVONDALE___________

Eclipse. Alternative dance music, Tue, Thur and Sat. • Old Wave Night, Fri. -4219 St. Johns Ave. Club Carouse’. Country _________ . and western .

387-3582. r ’ ' ~ ’ line dancing.

Mon. • Cool Runnings Partners. See the Dave Downing J---------E.4 Fri-Sat. c„. . • 8550 Trio Dec 14 . The Danettc dance music, Arlington Expwy. 725-2582.

Armstrong Trio plays sultry jazz Crary Horse Saloon. Country music Dec 15-17. • 3585 St. Johns Ave. nightly. • 5800 Phillips Hwy. 387-3585.

Yesterdays Entertainment Catch the 731-8892.

The Edge. Miss Blondie herself, soulful blues sounds of Gravy, just Debbie Harry, plays The Edge Dec in from Atlanta, Dec 14. ° The 14. °• Ladies Night, Wed. • oicvie Stevieouhclu Stilletojduuu Band iuviw rocks, Progressive, alternative and industn- Yesterday’s Dec 15.o Greg Baril, r'~- •who can play just about anything al dance music, Wed, ” Fri’ and1 Sat. Rock Night, Thur. • 845 University you want him to, takes the stage Blvd., N. 745-1232.

Dec 16-17. • All-Star Jam, Sun. • 57 Heaven. Country Line Dance 3638 Park St 387-0502.

Lessons, Tue. • Dwayne & Jacci, Wed.• Sounds of the ’70s, Thur. • BAYMEADOWS________ Dance to ’50s to ’70s music. • 8136 T-Birds. Dance music of the ’60s, Atlantic Blvd. 721-5757. ’70s, ’80s and ’90s. • Not Tonight Spike’s Deg House. Radio Berlin, I’ve Got the Blues Band, Thur.0

ARUNGTON/REGENCY/ SOUTHSIDE____________

music, Thur-Sat -327 N. First St. 249-4646.

First Strcot Grillo. Lisa Kelly does the jazz th>ng Dec 16.- 807 N. First St. 246-6555. phi's Tie Irish Pom Tory Voodoo celebrates two years together with a spe­ cial show at the beach Dec 18 You won’t want to miss it.177 Sailfish Dr Atlantic Beach. 246-4293 Heaven Cn Earth. You won’t want to miss the acoustic sounds of Sam Pacetti Dec 15. • Richard Gilewitz, Dec 16. • Henry & Joe Were Friends, Dec 17." Atlantic Blvd at 3rd St. Atlantic Beach. 2496242.

EJorth Shore GrBte. China Cats, Mon. • Pili Pili, Wed. a vegetarian) Dec. 14 at Dead Eye Dio!; will introduce you to Mary Moon (she’s . Open Acoustic Mic Night, Tue. • 363 Atlantic Blvd., ‘ Club 5 in Five Points.

Atlantic Beach. 246-6633.

Marriott at Sawgrass, I000TPC Partner’s. Teddy Washington plays Dance Party, Fri-Sat. • 9039 the trumpet Dec 16-17. ° The Bay Blvd., Ponte Vedra Beach.

Southside Blvd. 363-3399.

285-7777.

St. Blues Band play the blues Dec 18 Dave-T Downing The Cent.

Steve Carey and Jason 12. • The --T’ Trio jazz it REACHES______ Chase, Wed-Thur. • Jason Chase, _ __ • 1222 --------up Dec 19-20.

S. -3rd St. 249(Note: All entries under this heading Fri-Sat. • 2500 Beach Blvd. 2499550. are at Jacksonville Beach unless 7777.

Thu Ragtime Taproom & Brewery. otherwise noted.)

Crab Pet. The Marauders, Sun. • _________ r_ Decoy, Dec 15-18. • Wooden Ships Buckets Bafta Beach Ciu’j. Rock Ralph E. & the Jammers, Thu. • Big acousticai night. Wed. - 207 Atlantic 104.5 night, Tue. ° Wild on Wed, Engine andin.i-i.

Ralph c E. andi ,k thea T7 Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. sponsored by Channel X, Wed. » Jammers, Fri-Sat. • 12 N. First St. Sun Dog Diner. Mike Shackelford Ladies Night, Thur. ° 222 N. Ocean 241-4188. does the acoustic thing Dec 16-17. at 1st St. 246-7701.

Einstein A Go-Go. Alternative dance China Cats, Mo/n. • Richard Smith, Champs. Seabreeze, Thur-Sat. <>

Tue. • Mike Shackelford or hi Bros., Wed. • Mike ShackelfoJ*”’ Thur. • Smith & Dixon or * Shackelford acoustic, Sun • Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach 241-8221.

DQVJMTCWM Fclisi^ Bar. Old Wave Night withET' Who, Mon..» Live Music,Fri.« House of Kirby, all ages, Sat. • Gothic and Industrial with DJ h Sun. • The Green Room is openf.

Sat and Mon featuring funk, din I jazz and acid jazz with DJ Grom.’, 128 W. Adams St 356-MILK (6455).

©E2AMGE PARK Chan’s.Counuy dance lessons. Ma Wed and Fri. • 1500 Wells Rd. 269-2927.

Diamond Boots Hall. Country west em dancing with lessons, Tue-Sta. 797 Blanding Blvd. 276-2266.

The Gsckslda Jaguars Den, Big Engine, a local alternative band vbo just released their first CD. plats Dec 16-17. • Spotts bar and live _______________ ii_______________ music.» Open Mic Night, Moi • Dance Music with D.J.,Tue,Thut D.J., Tue, Thu? Fri-Sun. ° 4329 Blanding Blvd. 77?9990.

57 Heaven. Carolina Beach Music, Sun. ° Dance to ’50s to ’70s and more music, Tue-Sat. • 1975Wete Rd. 276-5071.

The Roadhouse. Zombie Birdhouse, a band from Tallahassee who wot

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“Musician” magazine’s Best Unsigned Band contest in 1993, play their Gin Blossoms meet Hootie and the Blowfish style of music Dec 16-17. • Alternative and Top 40 dance music, Fri and Sat. • 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611.

SHADES. Top 40 dance music. ° 1980 Wells Rd., No. 14. 276-1956.

SAN MARCO/ SOUTHBANK/

Jj.ra 11 Jara. Tracey Morris Uuartci, Dec 15. • The smooth sounding Macalus Quintet plays Dec 16-17. • Java Jam with the Gary Starling Trio, Tue. • Round Midnight Jazz Series, Fri-SaL • 4444

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«0« tJamsiaiiens play Spike’s Dog House in Arlington Dec. 17.

15-17. • That jazzy group Swing Set plays the Square Dec 21. • Acoustic Night, Tues- ' 1974 San Marco Blvd. 399-4422.

Illusions. Alternative I progressive music music ninhtlv, nightly. »° 1402 1402San San Marco Marco Blvd. 396-9282.

Hendricks Ave. 737-JAVA (5282).

Rfor City Brewing Co. Eric and the Furies, one of the few party bands left in River City, play Dec 16-17. The David Downing Trio performs On the Bridge every Fri & Sat night. o 835 Gulf Life Dr. 398-2299.

Bandna Head’s. Those Guys, Mon­ Sat. «312 Anastasia Blvd. 8238515.

Tito Hilltop. Hung Jury makes their first appearance at the Mill Top Dec 12. • Jim Carrick and Don Blitch play the Top Dec 16-17. • The Seiners, Tue. ° Stress Therapy with The Seiners and Those Guys, Wed 0 The Jalapeno Bros., Thurs. ° 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329.

OSCAR’S. Live bluegrass, Wed and Thur. ° 614 Euclid Ave., North Vilano Beach. 829-3794.

Panama Hatties. Country music and free line dance instruction, Thur. ° Contemporary Dance, upstairs, Fri and Sat. • 2125 Al A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-2255.

RefiecScns. Triphammer, Tue. ° Located in the St. Augustine Beach Holiday Inn, 860 Al A Beach Blvd.

471-2555.

Scarlett O’Hara’s Fulcrum rocks St. Augustine Dec 13-17. ° Mojo, Sun.° 70 Hypolita St. 824-6535.

Trado Winds. The Boondoggles play all your down-home favorites Dec 13-17. 6 Bob Patterson, Sat. • Nigel Pickering, Fri & Sun. ° 124 Charlotte St. 829-9336.

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6. Nirvana Unplugged in New York 7. Various Artists Lion King Soundtrack 8. Offspring Smash______________ 9. Tom Petty Wildflowers___________ 10. Various Artists Jason’s Lyric Soundtrack

1. Kenny G Miracles_______ 2. Boyz II Men II____________ 3. Eagles Hell Freezes Over 4. Mariah Carey Merry Christmas 5. Barn/ White Icon is Love

ST. AUGUSTINE_________

RIVERSIDE____________ Ths A&yss, Gothic Industrial Night, Wed. ° Late Night House, Wed. ° Hip House with DJ Zane, Thur. • Alternative Night, Fri-SaL • Late Night House, Fri-Sat. *1016 Park St in Five Points. 355-1119.

Club 5. The Big White Undies, the Gainesville band considered by some to be hotter than the Gators, play Club 5 Dec 14, along with Dead Eye Dick. ° On Dec 17, Club 5 is hosting the Alternative for Hunger and the Homeless party to benefit the City Rescue Mission.

Admission, consisting of an article or clothing or an item of non-perish­ able goods, gets you in to see local bands like Heavy Sonic Muthers, Renegade Livestock, Sella, Theater Gallery, Fur Uncle, Radio Berlin, Sakajaweeda, New Found Daze, Piewackit and Jug Or Not. • Ladies Night, Thur. °Progressivc/ .,i__ -r...

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a little difficult to understand why represen­ tatives of the City refuse to give them any funding. In fact, according to the minutes of the panel hearings, “Mr. Ossi (the Maritime Museum on-site reviewer) was impressed with the all-volunteer organiza­ tion. They need a full-time employee, but have an excellent, strong, dedicated staff of volunteers. He considers the Jacksonville Maritime Museum a ‘well-kept secret.’”

With a report like that, one would think that funding was eminent. Not so.

Says Jeff Dunn, chairman of the 1994 Cultural Services Grant Committee, “their (the Maritime Museum’s) fiscal situation” was one of the reasons they were turned down. “They weren’t stable and they were doing duplicative services.” In addition, Dunn also says that, “they are not serving their community. Their mission statement was not being fulfilled. Basically, the com­ mittee felt they weren’t as well-organized as they might have been. They needed to col­ laborate with other organizations in town.”

According to Reuschle, “they wanted us to join forces with the Mapleleaf group and the Museum of Science and History.”

According to the meeting minutes, the question was posed, “ What about a natural partnership with the Museum of Science and History? MOSH has so many changes of exhibits and the Maritime Museum's focus is on the river.” The board members

£7hen non-profit organizaEach year, non-profit organizations may W tions in Jacksonville need apply for a specified amount of money that V /XG/ money, they can usually is set aside by the Mayor's Office and City V V get it one of three ways: Council. To do so, each organization must solicit funds, hold fundraisers or apply for complete a grant application and meet cer­ grant money. In the case of the tain requirements. The organization must Jacksonville Maritime Museum Society, provide financial information, a budget, a Inc., the they h,„= have tried all three — — and-------come purpose statement and a community out­ in^-n it.™ up short. reach plan. All of this information is then The Maritime Museum has two loca- submitted ......-w-M to .xz v.

J7UUC.I called vaucu the Cultural a panel tions in Jacksonville that attempt to relive Services Grant Program Panel, “the dynamic story of maritime life and lore This .panel is made upxzlofJCJacksonville -------------- w»|X ---------- *. r»i—:u_ in Northeast Florida ... i beginning *•five cen- Arts members,, communi■ 1c Assembly Aceenhk, 1board ------ J-------turies ago, ” reads the pamphlet generated ty representatives, a representative from a---R., ----- L!U!x------------- ---.... by the group. Each of the exhibit areas con- the Mayor’s office and one City Council tains static displays. Scale model ships, representative. Once the applications are paintings, artifacts and photo displays relat- processed, one member of the panel con­ ing to maritime history provide an insight ducts a site visit and meets with the officers into this area’s seafaring past. But perhaps of the organization. That „ --------- . ,lut representative the most impressive model in the then reports back to the panel and the Museum's possession is the Rattlesnake, a committee votes on who they feel should scaled down replica resembling the receive So far, the JacksonvUle of the Maritime Museum felt that MOSH Revolutionary War privateer of the same Maritimefunding. “has Tn gone entirely different direction Museum has gotten nothing. than ----in“an “ CIlure| y differenl name. than the one wa’™ headed hi. And the Mapieieaf group is only excavating one par­ ticular vessel that we’ve found. We, on the known as Jacksonville’s “Tall Ship.” But, ed we haven’t gotten any money T her hand, hand> are attemo inc to^ other attempting to do a total, more importantly, she’s in desperate need struggling. Our income is low on dXrG re nautiral ---- P 8 to c We aren’t world nautical maritime effort.

— „„ <jv>nauons of repair. It is estimated that nearly $85,000 and sales, and we’re strucolinn ,/_natlons class yet, but we’re sure working on it, we’re struggling for volun­ is needed to complete the restoration so teers on the ~Rattlesnake.

There is sr she can be moved downtown and serve as work so much says Reuschle. to be done — she’s in bad >sh; an attraction to the public. With donations she’s salvageable.

Part of what we-hape but down and membership fees not covering money for is to hire a full-tir - ..J need the If anyone is interested in donating funds the expenses, the Maritime Museum help us repair her.”

-- .ime carpenter to to the Jacksonville Maritime Museurn recently applied for a Cultural Services like to help in the With an organization crg—.'.^Jun who wno seems to be Society, "Inc., J“ uror tnewould Rattlesnake, Grant — to no avail. doing a lot of restoration of the Rattlesnake contact the nf good for the - coi _Jmmunity_ ifs museum at 398-9011. to

S6W@ are attemfptiinig to do a toteSj, nautical roarutome effort.

We aren’t world class yet, we’re sure working on it.”

Bob Reuschle

mUSPnrr.

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

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Gingrich exposes his ugly side.

By Jim Hightower

hey say the higher up the ladder the monkey climbs, the more you see of its ugly side.

Check out Newt Gingrich, incoming speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. He’s scrambled up to the top of the ladder in Congress — and, whoa, his ugly side is, well, uglier than a baboon's butt!

Ugly Example Number One: “The Newt” is a guy veiy moralistic about ethics - other people’s ethics. GO-PAC, his political action committee, is a personal slush fund filled with more corrupt, special-interest money than any other speaker has ever amassed. Dozens of corporate executives have shoved more than $100,000 each into GO-PAC — and each of them have special favors they expect from Congress.

Now that “The Newf’s is at the top of the ladder, we’d better keep an eye on this monkey — in fact, don't even blink.

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ET— nough of that downbeat talk of H—, corP°rate “downsizings” and peof j' pie facing dire economic times.

■■BS ‘Tis the season to be jolly! So get i______________ in the Christmas spirit — and get out there ■ and BUY something.

The good news is that people are buy­ ing like crazy this year!

The bad news is people largely don’t have the money to pay for all this stuff, so it’s going on credit cards and — wait a minute, wait a minute, we agreed: none of that downbeat Scrooge stuff. Think happy, think elves, think... Neiman Marcus!

Why not — they take credit cards!

As a consumer service, Hightower Radio takes you on a magical tour through this year’s Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalogue.

Let’s start with this $370 pair of “golf boots.” Righto - cowboy boots ... with cleats But if that’s too practical for you, how about a 14-foot, electric-powered “Gondola for Two,” so you and your special some­ one can bring the romance of Venice right Do It With Panache u to your own lake. Only $7,400 - including Ugly Example Number Two. I ne i]t_in jce bucket bilge pump and emerNewt” says he wants to cut congressional gency paddle.

Would you like a little pam­ staffs by a third. Good idea — but Gingrich Pets are always____ neat Christmas gifts, and pering?

So would everyone on wants to exempt his own staff. He also Neiman Ne-,^an has bas just what you need, need: an favors term limits — but not for himself. acjorable miniature donkey! Be the first on your gift list. Select gift certifi­ Even though he’s already been there 16 r l^ck block to ha^we; have one, $1,300 to — $9,000. ffn n n cates for any service or J!"ree. years, his term-limits plan would grandta- depending on gender and2 pedigri ther him in for another 12 years.

Fiiucy, but hey, l,c ’ pampering package. Relax and Priced burhe7th^Xe,lfsted in the Ugly Example Number Three: Family Internationa] Donkey Registry, enjoy the Holidays "■"is your living room a little drab?

This ’ ll values. “The Newt” preaches them, but ask his first wife how he preaches them. As she fix it up: a five- foot high, acrylic aquanum Total Hair Care and Day Spa Services was coming out of a cancer operation, still shaped like an elephant! Talk about your groggy, he tried to make her sign a divorce conversation pieces - fish smnung paper. Plus, she’s had to go to court twice plpohant! And it s only $120,000.

But here’s the ultimate: an 18-karat gold, to make him keep up his child-support pay­ jewel-studded teddy bear holding a pocket on Park Avenue ments. „ Ugly txampie — -^atch that actually chimes every hour Ugly Example ixumuer Number .Four.

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THE CASE AGAINST

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WEMHJTARY ACADEMIES Why military academies are nothing hot a waste of money.

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uppose that every engine in a V\ General Motors car came from one \\of three GM plants. And suppose that the manufacturing cost of each of Plant A’s engines is more than three times that of those made at Plant B and more than nine times those from Plant C. Further suppose that other than cost, there is no measurable difference between the engines no matter where they were made — not in their performance, nor in how long they last. Finally, imagine that Plant A is far and away the least productive of the three — it makes only a small percentage of the company’s engines. Now, in order to maximize return on investment, GM should: 1) Close Plant A 2) Maintain the status quo 3) Have more Plant A’s If you answered 1), you are still in the running to be the next Tom Peters. If you said 2), you probably don’t subscribe to The Washington Monthly. On the other hand, if you said 3), quit reading this and call the personnel department at the Pentagon immediate­ lyYou’ve got what it takes to justify the continued existence of the nation’s ser­ vice academies.

That’s because the details in this sce­ nario are true if you substitute the words “military officers” for “engines,” and “Pentagon" for “GM,” and view Plant A as a service academy, Plant B as the univer­ sity-affiliated Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC), and Plant C as the quickand-dirty military training offered to college graduates by Officer Candidate Schools (OCS).

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academies defetnd them on the ground that they are jpairt of otr military

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officer pipelines, academy graduates don t outperform other officers). They don t remain on active duty significantly longer.

Indeed, five of the six incumbent Joint Chiefs are not academy graduates. But in spite of this, we haven’t eliminated Plant A for officers - in fact, we have three of them (West Point, Annapolis and the Air Force Academy).

So here’s a suggestion for downsizing the military that the Pentagon’s “bottomup review” and Al Gore’s National Performance Review missed: Abolish the service academies. As we shrink the mili­ tary, we’re going to have to reduce officer slots — so why not close down the least efficient officer production lines?

Right off the bat, this move would prob­ ably result in a savings of nearly a billion dollars a year in direct operating expens­ es. And there would be nice little (little to government, big to you and me) additionad economies: We could do away with the three prep schools the academies now run for the remedial training of applicants who haven’t met admission standards (a disproportionate number of them are prospective varsity athletes). Ditto for the expense incurred when service big­ shots commandeer government aircrafts to fly themselves and their wives around the country to service academy football games. And there’s probably a nice chunk of change to be saved in no longer needing field investi­ gations or special boards of inquiry to look into academy cheating scandals.

The Plant A argu­ ment may seem too narrowly economic, so it’s important to emphasize that there is another, cultural 'ng away with the acade^cioiocists0 calf'-* academies are what sociologist.

Prisonsand m tal 'nations” (like sealedofl&""asteries) ‘hat are virtually Produce o ?i?‘hce r?st of US' ‘hey tend to even alien nrJrV5 Who are isolated and of the« m ,he values ideas defend. society they are sworn to

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. pened to her at the Tailhook convention, after all, they didn’t come from West Point Advocates of the academies defend Snyder was utterly indifferent. And where or some other fancy place; they were them on the ground that they are part of did Snyder get his basic education about troopers once, too.y (The nc uuguiyhighly-legcuueu regarded our military tradition. Well, so were the how to view women in the Navy? At the Israeli military requires all officer candi- cavalty and segregation. At the very least, U.S. Naval Academy. dates to have two years’ prior enlisted ser­ And how about Admiral Frank Kelso, vice.) And having more officers come up this point can hardly be used to save the Force Academy, which was only at the time the Navy’s top officer, whose from the ranks would make promotion in Air founded in 1954. manipulation of the investigative and dis­ the military less like the frat house and It will also be claimed that the acade­ ciplinary process to conceal his own pres­ more like the police department, where mies supply a core of leadership that the ence at the scene of the lewd behavior supervisors have to work their way up from military needs to survive through all the and sexual misconduct Coughlin reported starting positions as beat cops. build- ups and build-downs. This is the gist caused the military to end up doing virtu­ In short, abolishing the service acade­ of Barney Greenwald’s famous speech at ally nothing in the case? He was an mies and picking up the slack via other the end of “The Caine Mutiny,” in which Annapolis graduate, too. Irrelevant details commissioning sources would make the Greenwald reminded the mutineers he’d about the admirals’ pasts? — well, remem­ U.S. military less isolated, more well- just successfully defended that while they ber, the Naval Academy was where, in grounded, more cohesive, and more meri­ had been happy civilians in peacetime, 1988, the superintendent knew just what tocratic. These are vital features for a mili­ men like Captain Queeg — who was an to call an incident at his school where a tary — especially one representing a Annapolis graduate — had been thankless­ ■ female midshipman was pulled from her democracy. After all, these folks aren’t ly manning the guns. The problem here is j------------i-------------------------•- ’sfighting for imperial Prussia. dorm room jand handcuffed to a men that while a strong officer corps is indeed room urinal by taunting male classmates. °S"he best argument for retaining the acad- essential, there’s just no detectable sense U emies seems to be that compared to He called it “hijinks." He didn’t dismiss in which it is uniquely or even mainly proany of the culprits, either. And it’s not just other commissioning programs they sub- vided by the service academies. Again, staparticipants to a more thorough .u_:-----------------------------<- tistically, you can’t tell the difference the Naval Academy — a recent General ject their Accounting Office survey indicated that and intense indoctrination in the military between academy grads and other officers. more than 90 percent of all service acad­ ethos. And this is no small matter. The mil­ And I offer this anecdotal evidence: When emy women experienced at least one itary, especially a downsizing military, I was in the Navy, working for and along­ form of sexual harassment at their school. requires officers who are there not side dozens of officers, ranging from A military sans academies could be because they don’t know what else to do incompetent to excellent to even inspiring, between L... how expected to have fewer officers who were or because the job market is lousy but 1I never saw any correlation L„ so tone-deaf to issues of fairness and because they are seriously committed to they did and where they came from. the profession of arms.

A fall fall-back bad; position is that, well, al at ic least <ul decency.

But ,just •because the academies provide the services depend on the academies for E. Similarly, shutting the academies down doesn't’t mean the bulk of their senior officers. But that’s would mean getting more officers with the best military orientation doesn non-military college educations. This that despite all their inefficiencies and not true either. The current Chairman of to 1keep __d we have ' . them in ' "busi­ the Joint Chiefs, General John would be a plus because civilian curricula drawbacks V,"„; we ... should do instead is incor. Shalikashvili, is not an academy graduate, do a better job of developing divergent ness. What was his predecessor, General Colin thinking and imparting knowledge of non­ porate much more of their indoctrination nor Powell. Two-thirds of all generals and program into the other remaining commis ­ military subjects (such as history, eco­ sources. In other words, after the admirals are not academy grads. nomics, and computers), which are sioning The most desperate defense of the abolition of the academies, in addition to essential components of military leader­ whatever technical and academic training academies I’ve ever heard was offered ship — on and off the battlefield. The tech­ k’subseauentiy received by up-from-the- recently by Rear Admiral Thomas Lynch, to —> ] — “■ - nical details of particular military jobs are ranks “ , officer candidates, prtTC orarinates, current superintendent of the Naval ROTC graduates, taught to officers after they receive their atiu —------ , — ,J ~ H 1have students officers should all Academy: “We’ve had a president. Ross commissions anyway, so why not opt for toinuuv. ._j ihard-core ---- >_— Perot may make it yet. We may have start off in an uninterrupted the solid, but broader base offered by a three-month indoctrination program on the another one. We’ve had a host of con­ Uivuicui cuuuuuvrr; gressmen and senators, both current and civilian And education? getting rid of the academies would same level of intensity as Plebe Summer at past, Nobel prize winners. A year or so ixz* -- ------------------ more slots giveEuru us the opportunity to have Annapolis or Beast Barracks at West Point, enlisb we Wecould keep "c one of the "'"i«ny academy ^o, I could say that half of all o'f our astrc> for officers who come up from the enlistcuuiu even keep ------- J fh»c nnnfc AraHpmv orarlnatoc nauts u/pro were Naval Naval Academy graduates... ” ed ranks. This would be a boon because campuses as the year-round site for this ed ranks. enlisted This would be’ a boon If you think this is a sound argument forformerly officers tend because to have initial phase. (But let’s be sure to put the „„J have other two to good civilian use; they’d be keeping the service academies, then 1 have more insight into the mind-set andtoactual mule iiilm o.v. ..rind-set L.'r - and actual »hpv ideal for national community service train­ another good idea for you. work requirements of troops the troops ideal tor national cunui.u... y —m?k How about a billion federal dollars a command.

And enlisted find itthey eas- ing for those ing the —— a ^niktprt trooos ingana/or and/or forieua,r>;r.g retraining those making the year for the Boy Scouts? *----------~it»-n to work.) xx/nrk T • • ■ -u -.v-pre as role models - transition from welfare

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®dwgd and] ©feffltasfenedl The Sierra Club is beginning to look a lot like big business.

By Coleen Bondy he Sierra Club has announced cuts in its staff and budget to accommodate shrinking dona­ tions. In a news story, the club’s executive director, Carl Pope, said the club would “refocus” by giving its members more services and fewer committees. The club also planned to try to bring in 75,000 new members.

Club officials blamed the declining donations on “the economyand a declining interest in social issues such as environ­ mentalism.”

They said more than 100,000 people have dropped their memberships since 1991.

That one of the country’s biggest envi­ ronmental organizations was having finan­ cial problems didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me, however, is how large the Sierra Club’s budget actually is.

The Sierra Club’s operating budget is $40 million a year. It employs 350 people, and its net worth is about $6.7 million. Its donations are down $3.7 million from last year, and it may have to lay off some employees.

The news story gelled for me the rea­ sons I stopped renewing my membership not only to the Sierra Club, but Greenpeace, the National Audubon Society, the Environmental Defense Fund and other environmental groups that I have over the years sent money to.

Contrary to Pope's statement, I care as much about the environment as 1 ever have. And 1 have much more disposable income now than I did at the height of my “enviro-spending.” So I don’t fit his profile, and I suspect that a lot of the other 100,000 or so people who stopped sending the Sierra Club annual dues don’t, either.

The fact is, the Sierra Club is starting to sound just like the big corporate interests that groups such as the Sierra Club claim to be fighting. Pope might as well have been spewing out cliches like “downsizing" or “rightsizing," terms you’d expect to hear from the heads of Exxon or Pacific Lumber.

What’s happening is that people like me, who want to do their part for the envi­ ronment, are getting more wary of sending their hard-earned 20 bucks to join a club that spends $40 million a year.

That’s a ton of money to me. What do they spend all that money on? All I got was a slick magazine and an uneasy feeling that I was feeding another huge bureaucracy.

Probably the worst move the environ­ mental groups have made is selling my name and address to every left-wing group out there. You wouldn’t believe the mail I get every day soliciting money from me, each letter competing with the next for my relatively modest paycheck. I get pictures FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

of sad-eyed, starving dogs. Starving chil­ ’90s have given me hope that there may dren. Starving elephants. Starving black actually be a future for the human race and Native American college students. and the rest of the Earth’s inhabrtants. It Starving lawyers from the American Civil you’d talked to me in the ’80s, I’d have said Liberties Union. Starving prisoners. They’re we were just plain doomed. Headed in the fast lane toward the extinction off-ramp. all starving — starving for my money.

If I believed every one of these pitiful But attitudes have changed drastically in cries for help, I’d think the world was in the the ’90s.

■j I

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Probably th© wosnst move th© environmental groups haw made os selling my me and address to ©very teftwong group) out there. worst state of crisis that it's ever been.

I’d think life on the planet for all of us is doomed — unless I could just scrape together 20 bucks to send to each one of those groups.

But the truth is, I think things have never been better.

No, I'm not blind, ignorant or crazy. I know the environment is threatened by everything from pollution to population growth. But the truth is, more people are aware of that fact than ever before. The

«y' »d7™"3 »p. I’ve long two

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ina Big Green environmental initiative, Proposition 128. The initiative failed, but 1 celebrated the redemption of our planet anyway because my dad actually voted for it. , , My Republican mother became a vege­ tarian during this decade. Now she chides meat-eating environmentalists. You can t be a true environmentalist until you stop eating meat, she says. My brother and sis­ ter both talk openly about caring for the environment, something they would have teased me about in the ’80s. My younger cousin and her husband both work for firms that are cleaning up the environment.

And my grandmother, the person in my family who is by far the most resistant to change, actually admitted to me that she felt guilty for not recycling. But, she added, she was too old to change.

So I would totally disagree with Pope that people have a declining interest in the environment. In fact, the environmental movement has been such a success that it’s having a bit of a backlash, and that may be the cause of the environmental groups’ declining incomes. For example, my step­ mother, an animal lover who for years sent money to the American Cetacean Society and other groups, said she’s not sending another penny to help the environment or animals. She wants to help people now.

Although 1 understand how my step­ mother feels, I still believe that the best way to help the human race is to save the environment.

And I m coming to believe that the best way t?,save *be Earth is at the local level — he old grass-roots effort starting with your nends, your family, your children and your community. . ' recent]y attended a conference held in q J?stltu.te for Alternative Journalism an Francisco. Herb Chao Gunther, an mS* man emPloyed by the Public nr> th , enter of San Francisco, summed mPP Va‘LUre of the environmental movecallinaTty Wel1' He said that instead of level !n°r real chan8e on the political Dlavin!nYlronmental organizations are just S da rn .Sa?e Sames “ the industries of monp,? d“Pise- They all throw tons cammion3 obbYists. who in turn line the cians takp neStS of Politicians. The politiall wonH??!170"6'3 money. and then we

supported rp?|rOnmental movement had

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So much for readin', writin' and 'rithmatic

By Timothy W. Jones

oofy me. It seems I’m always the ast ope to find things out. When was in high school science labs, looking through a micro­ scope I had to write down in my notebook my observations of the physical world. 1 thought all we could do was stand there and look at nature. 1 didn’t know we were allowed to argue with it.

Oh, sure, back in the Dark Ages (so named because everything took place in castles which were difficult to light ade­ quately) you had Galileo, who was told by the Church to stop noticing the Earth spin­ ning around the sun. Such a view clashed with the current theology. But then came the Age of Science, and everyone suddenly became rational. Or did they?

1 refer you to the Darwin vs. LaMark fight in the early 1900s. No need to fetch your “History of Boxing” handbook - they’re not in there. This was a battle of scientific theo­ ries, with geeks in white lab coats throwing test tubes and Bunsen burners at each other.

First, there was this French guy named Jean Baptiste Antoine de Monet, Chevalier de LaMark. Problem #1: He had too many names. His mailbox was 9 feet long!

Problem #2: His scientific theories were rejected by the mainstream. (If you thought your first breakup was tough, try getting rejected by a mainstream! Ouch!) Even though he had uncovered such biological biggies as the class of Crustaceans, the class of Arachnids (these while cleaning out the garage), and divided the Animal Kingdom into “vertebrates” (lizards, dachs­ hunds, people, etc.) and “invertebrates” (squids, bugs, the Artist Formerly Known as Prince), his ideas on heredity were mocked and scorned. In a scientific climate frantically seeking any other explanation for the Universe than the Genesis creation account, LaMark proposed that creatures evolved by genetically passing on acquired traits. For instance, if the parents had learned to juggle, then the offspring were automatically bom jugglers. It was a friendly, happy theory, without al! the blood and gore of natural selection, itmuch. but nobody sdence commuirity^S 0^ in the science community liked it much.

Then alone came Darwin His Then along came Darwin. His proposal proposal and a good left hook could win you zoologi­ cal supremacy. It involved chomping and killing and squashing the little guy. You know everything Western civihzaboin 1hoWs dear. So naturally, our boys took a real ShSSwas all but forgotten. Until that is the Soviet Union was forged and chief Science minister Lysenko declared I aMark’s theory the correct model. Why — it Marxist....... mindset Because it appealed appeatea to to the me ma.™ ......

knee caps shaved off with an electric cheese grater. It is because 1 am a man of science. Oh yes. I have developed some amazing scientific theories of my own.

Jhere’s Jones’ First Law, which states that There s stuff everywhere.’’ I’ve also postu­ lated — and I’ve got the paperwork to back me up on this - that E = MTV. Or my sug­ gestion that perhaps our universe is the psy­ chedelic invention in the mind of a hashish smoking druggy. This would explain Saturn’s rings. 1 call it, “The Big Bong Theory”. Of course those dweebs in the laboratory are too jealous of my landmark discoveries to acknowledge my contribu­ tions, but believe me, I am qualified to sniff out muddled reasoning. And that is why

shaggy head. Nature has been officially declared politically incorrect. This summer, a pack of ladies who believe themselves to be the watchdogs (wait, what would the female version of that be?) of gender insen­ sitivity ruled that “The Lion King" was a sex­ ist film. Funny, Dan Quayle was castigated for criticizing the moral character of the fic­ tional Murphy Brown. Perhaps his com­ ments would have received the proper respect if he’d attacked an animated fiction­ al character.

The furor centers around this big boss lion, Mufassa, who thinks he’s God’s gift to the savannah, with a whole tribe of fawning drooling females standing around waiting to attend to his every beck and call. Imagine!

Why would Disney present such a repulsive ...perhaps oiuht arrangement? Buckle up - here comes the Big Clue: Maybe because that’s exactly how urwerse as the psy­ lions operate.

Granted, Disney doesn’t usually stick this chedelic invention m close to the actual social hierarchy of the animal kingdom. (1 mean, you didn’t really bears and panthers and snakes sang the mind of a hashish think chorus lines together in the wild, did you?)

But the mane dilemma ... whoops, I mean smoking diroggie. the main dilemma is that this venture dared to get a little more realistic. But trust me, it This would explain could have been a lot worse! The average male lion, the undisputed lord of his pride, Saturn’s rings, 0 caii sleeps about 20 hours a day. About mid-day he rolls over and bellows to one of his many queens, “Hey wench! Fetch me a zebra!" it, “The IBig Bong and off she goes a-hunting. Hubby may or may not help, but it is the lioness who Theory”. makes the kill. She not only brings home the bacon, fries it up in a pan, but has to this whole thing bothers me. slaughter the thing as well.

In 1991, a neurologist discovered that Now please understand, I’m not endorsthere are certain cells in the hypothalamus ing such a system for humans. For starters, 1 section of ‘the brain ‘that gay don’t really like the taste of zebra meat that —-----u~‘ are — ’larger — !in-----men than in heterosexual men and much. It tastes a lot like striped chicken. women. Which cells? (I’m not sure, but I Instead I propose we all adjust to the fact think it might be the ones that control furni­ that in nature and science, things are what ture and carpet color coordination.) What they are, and will continue to be, even when does it mean? I don’t know. But it sure we wish they were otherwise. If we don’t, kicked up some sparks. Gay activists, such the next thing we’ll see is sensitivity training as John De Cecco, raged their disapproval, classes for offending members of the food Conservative religious will leaders chain.who There ’s those swaggering, egotistical that" now, homosexuals claimlamented it as an bulls think of nothing but grazing and that now, homosexuals will claim it as an k"n---- :------- > behavior. mating. There’s those vain male birds who biological excuse for their deviant behavior, ' ' ; me for being the lone voice of reason ,---. bigger or they ain't. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like them that size. Either develop a bugs - conducting aerial copulation in plain brain cell shrinking potion in five fruity, deli- view! I’d be more repulsed if I weren’t so mr>v .trio cious flavors— or join--------me on ™ my K,, bumpy ride envious. My friend had a beagle who used to try something nasty on me that would down Reality Highway. ____ Apparently, ._ _ surely qualify as sexual harassment. I’m no Do you get lii the~ picture? nothin/much has changed since the introAmy Vanderbilt, but I’d call it ill-mannered duction TtheSdeSiftFPtec^ we 5 ... r>. t__ D.onncc Pircfr wp whpnwhen fpm^ilp hlackblack widow Qnidprc Uli their female widow spiders kill their must select a belief system at the mates right after sex, even if it is the wife Philosophical Vending Machinei.

Machine. Then we killing the husband. And who do those pray­ they are anyway, promotgather only those facts which fit into our :ing. mantisesu.think ui!_? o—-. d an noying data ing religion by. praying in __ public? .- „ ir find onnnvinc data which wl Which brings me back to those chauvinistic t. If we "oud enough,"the naughty realities lions. They are definitely not setting a good

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responsibility, kindness, self-control, pos , , When 1 went to the school system ih,do dek j said ,this js a process tive ,H attitude, risk, nhallpnOA challenge, trust, cooperacoopera­ tion and problem-solving.

There’s no quick fix here. It’s a process of This was evident during my tour of the school as I passed by children in the halls continued behavioral change.”’ Whereas and when I participated in a fire drill where corporate employees may only have a students walked outside in as quiet and weekend to absorb new found skills, the orderly a fashion as 1,100 children can be.

It was also evident when I was introduced to a young boy who shared with me how he was able to help solve a dispute between two of his classmates. At the end of our conversation he reached out to shake my hand and said he hoped 1 was enjoying my visit. I was so startled by his display of good manners that, tiying to free my right hand of the things 1 was carrying, they fell to the floor. I suddenly felt like a clumsy kid speaking with an adult. He helped me gather up my things and then was on his way.

I was seeing first-hand the positive results of an education model used throughout the Springfield magnet school called T.E.A.M. Discovery (Together Each Achieves Miracles). The program was developed by teacher Kimberly Wise, the school’s T.E.A.M. Discovery coordinator, and was implemented when the school first opened four years ago. students learn and receive reinforcement The goal of T.E.A.M. Discovery, as stat­ every day. ed in the curriculum package, is to “devel­ The idea is not to take away street skills op leadership and problem solving skills, the children may need to survive in their group setting. Stud^rts and 'stedf' members ^eTborh°ods' but to say that when they Jearn to support and respect one another TX kT envlronmer>t, like the school, as well as understand and accent ones «im nose behaviors are inappropriate, ilarities and differences.” ^appropriate behavior, as much as possiWorking with many at-risk children TT *snored> while appropriate behavior Wise said she and her co-workers snent ,.u ncoura8ed and reinforced, said Wise, most of their time dealing with disruption J©,?* we suPP°sed to repeat or want and fight,ng rather than teaching * She ™T8 Lhat we’ve never known." For >0 elsTI,0 different learning mod- fiohti p e’'Yben ihere was a problem with els that wouldd use ^d ‘‘he he children children to to -----name denre T the T strengths strengths of the stu- thin^u™156 asked

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I Kimberly Wise and her students participate in "discovery activities."

produce that peaceful feeling. The chal­ lenge carries over into other activities.

Many students walking down the halls had their finger over their mouths showing themselves and others they could be quiet.

“They’ve learned that whether it takes one finger, or one hand or two hands over their mouths, they have the power to be silent."

There are also rules for fighting fair that focus on the problem, not the person, and there are a list of “fouls” to show what is considered unfair such as name calling, hitting and blaming. There is also "I care” language used by teachers and students to approach inappropriate behavior in a posi­ tive and supportive framework. Instead of telling a student to quit rocking back and forth in his chair because “you are disrupt­ ing the whole class,” Wise may say, “I feel seasick when you rock back and forth like that. Would you please stop.” One student may say to another, “I feel sad when you call me names. Would you please stop.”

The idea is to move „„„ away ___ from________ accusatory directed -at ..... the person...... instead statements Gu...... of at the behavior. Wise said children don’t often realize that a behavior is unacceptable until it is brought to their attention.

The school also has its own outdoor ropes course scaled down to a size man­ ageable by small children. Because Wise is the only instructor, the children may only get to experience the course once or twice each year. She is currently teaching other instructors on the course so that eventually students will be able to use it more often.

She also teaches the entire T.E.A.M. Discovery program as a course at Florida

Community College at Jacksonville. FCCJ has an outdoor adventure center in Yulee.

Students’ parents involved in a GED pro­ gram also receive discussion time with Wise once a week to talk about parenting skills and to address particular issues.

It took almost three full years before progress was noticeable. Noticeable, yet in and of itself immeasurable. “These are things you can’t measure. You can’t mea­ sure an environment, you can’t measure caring and loving and safety and security.

But you can measure standardized test scores and you can measure absenteeism and behavioral referrals and in-school sus­ pensions." For example, the in-suspension room used to be full every day. Now Wise says there are some days when the room sits empty.

“My hope this year is that these things will be reflected so that the county at-large can say ‘maybe we should have this pro­ gram at our school.’

“I feel sad that our children learn ail these tools and learn all this _great stuff and they’ve no where to go with it. None of the middle incorporated a ,J' schools u l" have ' school-wide model. But, they will be able to cany some of this with them. The idea that they have choices.

“It’s all part of a team effort. To generate a common language and a common way to treat one another so that there is understand­ ing. A lot of problems arise from lack of com­ munication or different perceptions of some­ thing. So we actually teach ‘yeah, there is more than one way to look at things.’ You can’t measure it, but it works.”

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> S V N s uch has been written over of the anarchic, anything-can-happen spirit the past couple of years about the late- of “SNL’s" golden age. In a recent appear­ night talk show wars — David Letterman vs. ance on “Letterman,” he stopped the show Jay Leno, the decline and fall of Arsenio by taking Dave’s camera crew out to a Hall, the rise of Jon Stewart, and the Broadway theater and giving those spunky, Energizer Bunny-like survival of Conan talented kids in the cast of “Miss Saigon” a O'Brien - but another sea change in the pep talk.

Brett Butler. Butler’s hit series “Grace chat show world has happened without much fanfare. Even before Johnny Carson Under Fire" is tame — kind of a “Roseanne hung up his invisible golf club, the roster of Lite” — but on talk shows, the Southernguests began to shift from Vegas hacks bred comic is fierce. On a recent Leno out­ and show biz dinosaurs to a younger, row­ ing, she let fly on a range of topics. Here’s dier, raunchier, more eclectic mix of Butler on being married to a vegetarian: “I feel like Linda McCartney, but without actors, comics, musicians, politicos and the vocal range.” She also provided a twist athletes.

Granted, some nights the programs are on that old talk-show staple, the show-biz just as vacuous as they ever were — there anecdote, by talking about how she taught are still plenty of modern counterparts to Barbara Walters the definition of the term the Angie Dickinsons and Dean Martins “hooters.” “She didn’t know what they and Phyllis Dillers and Joey Bishops, were," Butler mused. “That means that except now many of the phony baloneys eyety Friday night for the last 20 years, are bubblegum rappers and comedy circuit Hugh Downs could have turned to her and hacks and the stars of shows produced by said, "~:J ,r> —*--- nice' hooters.

■ ‘Barbara, ’” Aaron Spelling. Even some of the perform­ ob Newhart. He’s a comic ers who came along in their wake, who genius who’s aging well, an were once so exciting to watch — Robin elder statesman without a Williams, Madonna, Sandra Bernhard — hint of arrogance or decrepi­ have in recent years grown more stale and tude. And his influence has predictable when on the tube. But guests, 'never been greater—witness not hosts, are often the real drawing card the low-key, Newhart-like of late-night programs. Is anybody good comic stylings of Jerry Seinfeld and Ellen on tonight?

DeGeneres. A recent appearance on the So who’s worth staying awake for? The “Jon Stewart Show” had the hip young fun­ following guests, based on a highly subjec­ practically groveling with gratitude tive and unscientific and usually drowsy nyman survey of late-night fare, are the top 10 that Newhart would deign to appear on his most consistently entertaining, no matter couch and had Stewart’s young, TV-bred who’s warming the host’s chair. Each of audience loudly appreciative. More these people understands both parts of the endearingly, the gracious Newhart seemed phrase talk show, and behaves according­ clearly tickled to have the attention. He’s the... thinking person ’s Bob Hope — and ly. _ I---O UUIJ Hr,rvo r—•-*■’"> ^• unnYBill Murray. Yes, he’s been around unlike &i^ ’S s,i for bv now now he he’ss virtually , Bettewho Midler. thbridge , aa while. nButTby k “,uul.J? ‘u formers the very few perfor while. But the ’s beenOne ableofto the genonly Mme always L...j Saturday —Night .„51Il Live cast member erational gap, the Divineio Miss unuse gen­ left-past or present-Avho Carson (she present—who’s still possessed seemed equally at home Divinewith Miss M always

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was, by his request, the last guest ever on his show) and Hall (with whom she indulged in hilariously bitchy girl talk).

Furthermore, she always shows up ready to rock. And no one ever looked lovelier, as she did on Letterman’s show this year, in a mermaid costume.

Quentin Tarantino. Imagine if Orson Welles had grown up in the 70s, and had had a better sense of humor.... One of the highlights this year on any TV talk show was the sight of the Cannes Film Festival’s Palm D’Or recipient leaping from Letterman’s guest chair to demonstrate how he taught Uma Thurman to dance like “The Aristocats.” Shortly afterward, while guesting on the “Tonight Show,” Florence Henderson presented the “Pulp Fiction” director with his own copy of the official “Brady Bunch” board game — and offered to sit on his lap while they played it. His

with raunchy elan. Here’s a classic witti­ cism from a couple of years ago, com­ menting on Sharon Stone’s claim that she didn’t know she’d appear pantyless in “Basic Instinct”: “When the camera crew starts putting the big lights around your V,” Alley informed the home viewers, “it’s probabjv going to be filmed.” eorge Foreman. Jocks and musicians usually make dull talk show guests, g probably because their proI fessions don’t require ver1 bal skills. Of course, evety' one’s Foreman’s fair-weath­ er friend these days, but the new heavy­ weight boxing champ is on this list because, unlike most athletes, he’s interesting to lis­ ten to apart from his sports accomplish­ ments. For years, in fact, he was interesting in spite of his sports accomplishments. His

her nerves upon meeting childhood hero Clint Eastwood at the Academy Awards — and she played both parts impeccably.

Molly Ivins. Leno in particular is fond of politicos — both elected officials and the media types who cover them—and while most are duds outside of their natural habi­ tat (what passes for charisma among politi­ cians doesn’t even register on TV, or in real life), Texas political columnist Ivins is always a hoot. She details the foibles of those she covers with zest—a valuable pub­ lic service in this government-bashing era.

“You haven’t lived,” she once told Leno, “until you’ve gotten a collect call from H. Ross Perot.”

Carrie Fisher. Recently, there was talk in the media that Fisher would break into the frat-boy world of late-night talk shows and host her own program. She told the press she wasn’t interested, but what a

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PerfonmeE^ who were once so exciting to watch, Bobin Madonna and Sandra Bernhard, have in recent years grown more stale and predictable when on the tube, persona as hyperactive pop-culture idiot savant may eventually become a trap, but right now, he’s fun to watch.

Kirstie Alley. Here’s hoping Alley’s wobbly film career goes well—not because her movies are any great shakes, but because it’ll keep her on the talk-show cir­ cuit, where her appearances sometimes approach performance art. In a universe populated by Stepford Starlets, the “Cheers” vet is a loose cannon, and God bless her for it. She disses her own movies, ex-lovers, and other performers

cheerfully eccentric good-ol’ champ per­ sona — he’s old, he’s fat, he doesn’t care what you think — should serve him well on talk shows for decades, even when some­ one else wins the belt.

Emma Thompson. Thompson may be busy racking up Oscar nods for her seri­ ous drama roles, but the British actress started her career as a standup comic, training which has served her well on American chat shows. She’s a gifted mimic, which she demonstrated memo­ rably on one show, when she described

prospect that would have been. The writer/actress quips like a gunfighter, and, as a high-profile Hollywood brat, has a store of show-biz tales to share. Here’s Fisher on Letterman’s show awhile back, describing the experience of having Meryl Streep play her fictionalized self in “Postcards From the Edge" “She’s Meryl Streep, what advice could I possibly give her?" Fisher asked. “Should I take her aside and say, ‘Meryl, that scene was good, but why don’t you try more of that Polish thing you do so well?’”

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,„hpn he discourses on Jacksonville’s those areas. “Did you know Cksonville’s crime rate is ranked second in the state, sixth-highest in the nation?

That we have the highest teenage preg­ nancy rate in the nation? And the highest percentage of sexually transmitted disease among teenagers? That’s because we don’t have any kind of sex education in our public schools,” Irvine says.

“Jacksonville has the highest divorce rate and therefore the highest single-parent rate Jacksonville is also ranked one of the worst cities to raise your kids.” While gleaning those facts and figures, Irvine met Trina Leonard, director of Drawing i^l the Line, a success: J ful youth education '. program in ® Rockville, Maryland.

The youth program, so impressed Irvine that he had Leonard send him more information.

Drawing the Line is a 300-page program intended to involve all members of the community in youth education: parents, teachers, police and This is Steve. He's going up against big boys like Hazouri and clergy. Education Godbold. would be compre­ hensive; addressing ver’s seat as his wife Amy slips in beside drugs, teen pregnancy, date rape, behavior him. “We bought it as a family vehicle,” he modification, etc. by creating youth pro­ explains through the loudspeaker system, grams.

“It’s easier and cheaper to maintain than a /A nother program Irvine became intertruck.”Mrs. Irvine adds, “It’s great for when ^Vested in was Project Return. This pro­ you have kids; we always get good park- gram, which was studied by Tulane ing.”

University, lowered the recidivism (repeat If utilizing a limousine as the grocery­ getter and mom’s taxi seems a bit uncon­ criminal) rate in New Orleans from 37.5 percent to four percent. Jacksonville cur­ ventional, so is the man who would be rently has a recidivism rate of 37.2 per­ mayor. Irvine doesn’t look like your typical cent. The similarity in numbers led Irvine mayoral candidate. Instead of the suited, to believe the program would be success­ helmet-haired good ole’ boys which describe the standard of mayors past, ful for Jacksonville, as well. Project Return is a series of education, job training and Irvine sports shoulder-length hair and Levi’s. His occupation as owner of job placement programs established to help offenders released from prison to Yesterday’s Social Club, a bar in Avondale, certainly raises a few eyebrows with the become productive members of society, conservative faction. The question about ultimately reducing tax dollars spent to Irvine on most people’s minds may be, “Is support repeat criminals. The program this guy for real?!" costs about $500,000 to implement, which came out of the Orleans Private Industry He certainly is. Come January 1, Irvine council and the New Orlean’s Big will begin a hard-core, grass roots effort to show just exactly why Jacksonville needs usiness Council. Tulane’s study showed him for mayor. What does Irvine have that over cear.’s time Project Return saved the big guys don’t? over»15 million tax dollars - with not one Pubhc tax dollar spent on the program, In the back room of Yesterday's, Irvine takes a seat and tosses a stack of stapled combat’ seejn8 an inexpensive way to papers onto the table. The papers describe orobin ° Jacksonville’s most serious programs, with facts and statistics support­ citv * ’ Reposed Drawing the Line to ing their validity. Programs, Irvine claims, tobaccoU?"---hrOUSh the alc0h01 and that have reduced crime and improved commission two years ago. City youth education so drastically that they are councilman Harry Reagan in turn Pr°h ranked the most effective in the nation posed the program to the Mayor’s Yout Irvine knows his stats, which he rattles off Council, where it was buried. “1 imag'n glibly. They are particularly hard-hitting it’s going to stay buried because Austin got so little time in office,” Irvine sighs.

Frustrated by the bureaucratic foot-

n f outward trappings are any indication ■ of community ranking, then by most ■ accounts Steve Irvine should be Ll mayor. The Irvine family, which includes wife Amy and three kids, Heather, Audra and Olivia, travel by limou­ sine. A luxurious white, stretch '76 Cadillac Brougham transports them around the city. A TV, wet bar and a small refrigerator are but a few of the amenities the Irvines enjoy while being transported around the city. The limo has everything — except a hired driver. Irvine takes the dri-

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dragging, Irvine decided the only wav to get the programs rolling was to run for mayor. It was an overwhelming prospect for Irvine, who knew little of being a politico. When I decided to run for mayor the only feeling I could compare it to was jumping off a cliff in Jamaica,” he explains “It was scary, because you stand on the edge and you see the water and nothing can hurt you - it was just falling - but tak­ ing that first step Irvine shakes his head, “finally I said, ‘Either you believe what you’re saying or you don’t. And if you don’t, sit down and shut up. And if you do, step off the edge.’” Irvine concedes the worst part is over, but the campaign road ahead will be rocky. “I know I’m out of my mind,” laughs Irvine, “I’m a hippie ... talk­ ing about sex education ... I’m not a sea­ soned speaker ... but one truth kept com­ ing back to me — those studies are true and correct. And if 1 don’t say something, I’ll have another four years of it."

Coming in as the underdog and emerg­ ing victorious is perhaps Irvine’s modus operand!. He seems unfazed by the over­ whelming opposition by former mayors Jake Goldbold and Tommy Hazouri — two favorites for the mayoral seat. Irvine has received a couple thousand dollars from bar owners and well-wishers for campaign­ ing; a conservative figure compared to what Hazouri and Godbold plan to spend for their campaigns. Irvine feels the basis of the campaign will speak for itself. “Do we have a mayor’s candidate addressing [youth centers]? No, because [Godbold and Hazouri] got rid of them," says Irvine emphatically. “That’s the ‘proven record’ they’re talking about. It’ll cost $350,000 to $500,000 to make everyone believe ‘Hell is Great! Hell is Great!’ Because if you say something long enough and loud enough, people start to believe it.” He adds, “Because if you see what kind of money is spent on these campaigns, think about it — who do you want handling your money later?” . . .

Irvine emphasizes that he is bringing to the table solid, proven programs; solutions that will work. He asks what the incum­ bents have come up with. “‘I would like to is a program? ‘I think’ is a program? Do you have a plan to enact?" Irvine thumps the table, “It’s like a football game with four quarters to play it in - how are you going

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Classic and soft rock take the

place of the

beautiful music.

By David Simons

Interspersed with the E ock and roll. It’s loud, aggresusual array of * sive, menacing. And danger­ innocuous accorous, too, wreaking havoc on the dion-and-strings nervous system, rendering ear instrumentals, /, < drums weakened and often lx-—□ --- -------j -------j -----in thoroughly / destroyed from years of decibel over-use (hello Pete). Its power to turn rel- separated \ stereo.

-v------I atively normi,stereo. well-meaning human beings It was It into out-of-control maniacs is amazing. Take !;!:a like liquid Altamont. Mosh pits. Green Day in Boston. anesthetic running Our parents were right.

1 oughta know, having worked in the down the ear canals.

Go ahead and laugh. Sure profession of loud music-making for a good portion of my life. Nearly eveiy week I’d be more cool if 1 took some drugs I pick up a Telecaster, plug it into a Fender and went careening down the road blasting Nine Inch Nails. But to tell you the truth, if I amp and for the next two hours spew out didn’t love the electric guitar so much, 1 an array of noise written with a guy himself wouldn’t play rock. 1 can’t stand the racket. rendered near-deaf from years of auditory abuse. It starts out under control — inasiei But there's something much worse than abuse.

It starts out on under control — master set to four, volume six but within min- a night’s worth of ear-blistering rock: soft utes all order goes out the window and the rock. The Little River Band. England Dan band degenerates into a volume assault on and John Ford Coley. Air Supply. And if each other and members of the audience you go over to your FM receiver and look (who seem to prefer it that way). for that familiar spot on the middle of your By the end of the set, the settings on the dial where those beautiful music mavens amp are suddenly on seven and nine, used s . what you 11 find. No UbCU to IU reside, rvv.ww, that ________ more beautiful music. Just “Reminiscing.

my ears. ncnallv Nowadays the post-mayhem is usuay followed by a couple hours of se'P™P°sed

exile from noise. 1 used to have a , approach, though. Was atime when) could get into my car, and hlttl.n8 P set on the radio to somewhere ini the mid XedS t&SSX

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“Lady,” in gut-busting fashion, for the 156,475th time.

Who Do I Turn To? The “beautiful music” format (often inappropriately labeled “muzak” program­ ming, see below) is not totally dead, but its pulse is quite faint. There are a small num­ ber of hold-outs across the country, though. One is Boston-area WJIB-AM. In the ’60s and into the early '80s, WJIB broadcast beautiful music on FM in ultra­ clear, wide stereo. It was the quintessential “beautiful music” station, with a super-pow­ erful signal (which was a leading character­ rtll VUl ------------_ istic of many of these stations in those It’s iviuxok modernofradio ycctc--czr programmers ral1Muzak. ’ answer to days: if you couldn’t pull in anything ,,, else" Times have changed.

Those business- you could always get' “Red "Roses „For a> TalHi Nuzak.

11111CO nurv ------- O-Blue Lady"). Every 20 minutes or so. a sta’ “c-—moot. men who used to shuttle from board meet- P‘uc uauJ' ’ of„f waves, n E) Dorados now tion promo featuring sounds seagulls anda amar maritime bellwoul would break J the Iinks in Boca Raton. Their sea *ulls and "™e bell in, followed by a cheery baritone announc­ |acements make up an age group er who sounded like he’d recently swal­ ^P „dassjc.. and ..sofr rock o( lowed six handfuls of Xanax. , .gOs and 7QS which makes them the '77 ike its peers, WJIB-FM faltered and h audience of the “light and easy I finally kicked the bucket by the end -dens wmui «« favorites” and and “magic” stations of the ‘80s. Enter radio veteran Bob crowd the center band. arej ^u-«Diiinui, til of ui the FM 1 —----- Gone . vvnu uuugm 1 .J Bittner, who bought uic the diaiiuii station’os uaii call the numerous <cotton-candy __ J ■----nt renditions oi |eders ancj began broadcasting in the r'—:l~ "” “beautiful music" format in 1991. And with “The Shadow of Your Smile. exceptjOn of a few low-powered staInstead, Kenny Rogers serves up I

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f tions, his is the only one of its kind remaining in the entire Northeast.

Bittner, a 45-year-old journeyman disc jockey who at one point early in his career was cuing up Zappa on the graveyard shift, is no hack: he knows the business thoroughly and has a keen grasp on music history. And he genuinely loves this stuff.

“I was raised on this music until I discovered rock and roll," admits Bittner, who operates his 250,000-watt station singlehandedly from his five­ room, Cambridge, MA-based studio, the former site of WCAS-AM (which, ironically, used to program “underground" rock and folk in the ’70s). Bittner spends a good deal of the day on the premises, and automates the programming overnight. “Most people think it’s old people’s music, but it’s not,” claims Bittner. “I never think of it as oldfashioned. 1 think this kind of music is needed in our society.”

Bittner admits that maintaining this kind of programming is a daunting task. “It’s def­ initely not catching on in America," he laments. Nevertheless Bittner is planning on opening another station in the future, to go with a small New Hampshire-based “beautiful music" venture he currently over­ sees.

Bittner uses terms like “non-aggressive” and “bright" to describe the music on his playlist; he also supplements the oldies with the latter-day staple of “beautiful music” programming, namely New Age. “A lot of the renditions have gotten more inter­ esting over the years,” he says, and, as if to illustrate his point, cues up a Richard Clayderman reading of Abba's “Dancing Queen.”

“It’s a music lover’s station, not a station out to make money,” claims Bittner. “1

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Bittner has a theory < why his chosen format has nearly gone by the wayside, which, . according to him, can be blamed on more than just changing tastes and retiring businessmen.

“Advertising agencies have their heads up their butts,” he reports. “Most advertising nowadays is aimed at the younger, impulse-buying market. Which I think is wrong. My audience is out buying Winnebago’s, trips around the world, bigticket items. There is money to be made here still, I believe.”

His thought on the Nuzak crowd? “It’s fine for the stupid masses," says Bittner.

“So what if they play the same 500 songs over and over again?”

//\X|

Who knows — maybe Bittner, over time, will forge some kind of “beautiful music" renaissance of sorts. Maybe his or three small broadcasting .U twoventures will catch on. The phe­ nomenon could even reap­ pear on FM. Hey, if cocktail music can become hip (Sinatra, et al), then why not the works of the Hollyridge Strings? Why even hipsters like the band NRBQ has pre-concert tapes containing “Theme From ‘A Summer Place.”' It could happen.

Then again, it probably won’t. And Faith and his cumulus-cloud arrange­ ments, Kaempfert and his trumpet and all the other tranquil tonemakers of yesteryear will gradually fade into oblivion. Nuzak rules. “Not too hard, not to soft.” “Light and easy.” “Magic.”

Tune in — Leo Sayer is waiting for you.

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Oceanfront, unspoiled beach, charming rooms, soaking tubs country breakfast, short bike ride to historic seaport. Porches Sfsszxsc.rockers and sitting by the ’ fireplace. Treat yourself!

David & Susan Caples, Innkeepers 88 So. Fletcher, Amelia Island. Florida 32034 / 904-277-4851

IFlonda House Ism

package starts at MGator Bowl Wee^7e,XC'ud d' 8277 ?£n Way Circle

to,,hen7-’AeL—■ FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13. 1994

LethRt Est 1857 oldest hmP?-me.^live for y°u m the ^estoreri’V1!6 state - recently rocked o' n?jOy our P°rch horaesty^e coo^klng8 an<^

. FuZ NatIonal Historic Register • Pub • Restaurant ro»;»S' Downtown Fernandina (904) 261-3300

Restaurant .

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WINE & DINE OVER THE WATER

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thp ® Sta Ch,nese Restaurant. Alfred Lai has been

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ARLINGTON/REGEMCY Bangkok Cuisine. Thai style chicken, pork beef and shrimp chicken broccoli, chicken curry weet and Mur pork. Enjoy healthy food in a homey atrnosotem i m f. O' M-Sm B/W. HA. 1239 Arlington Ri 72^695 $

can-h Amencan and European cuisine, pasta, catch of the day. Don t be intimidated by the reputation hr., u n? S ele9ant yet comfortable. L&D, M-S; 3871700S$$$B’ R SU"eSted’ 3551 Stl Johns Ave-

Bombay Tandoor Indian Restaurant. The only Indian restaurant in town - offering a lunch buffet wfeh fea tures 26 items. Tandoori chicken, curried dishes lamb bee^ and seafood. L & D, T-Sn. B/W. 7404 Atlantic B^

Sweet Basil Cafe. Italian menu with homemade breads and desserts. Offering fresh, hand-cut veal and fresh seafood everyday. L&D, M-S. 1038 Park St. 633-9005.

Cafe Bon. Featuring affordable, authentic Vietnamese ' 'a'd-back atmosphere. L&D M-S N/S. HA. B/W. 10226 Atlantic Blvd. 725-3431. $.

Campeche Bay Cantina. Homemade Mexican dishes Fajitas, bumtos, enchiladas, fresh seafood, steaks and fried ice cream. For a switch, why not dine outside on

8European i7oXTbM5^?$$D- n'9ht,y' FB' HA N/S' St Restaurant. Old World deli sandwiches bratwurst, pita pockets - and don't forget about their wide variety of beers from around the world. L&D, daily. FB. N/S. Regency Mall, Arlington Expy. 725-8992*.

5.

Hala Cafe and Bakery. Home of kabobs, tabbouleh and falafel. Spinach pies too. Family owned and operat­ ed since 1975. B, L, & D, M-S. B/W. 1451 Atlantic Blvd.

249-2212. $.

Houlihans. Snacks, salads, sandwiches, pasta, burgers, steaks and seafood. Enjoy good food, people and fun in a comfortable, casual atmosphere. L&D, daily. FB. N/S. Regency Mall, Arlington Expy. 725-3770. $$.

The Loop. Chicago-style pizza, burgers, sandwiches, sal­ ads. Their pizza, burgers and hot dogs were voted Best of Jax by Folio Weekly readers. L&D, daily. B/W. N/S. HA. 9332 Arlington Expy. 725- 0850. $.

Nero's Cafe. New York style pizza and calzone, veal and seafood combinations. L&D, daily. N/S. HA. 3607 University Blvd., N. 743-3141 $$.

Pattaya Thai. They serve all fresh and lean food cooked to order with a large selection of seafood entrees and over 20 vegetarian dishes. L&D, T-F; D, S-Sn. FB. N/S. HA. 10916 Atlantic Blvd. 646-9506. $.

The Thai Room. Spicy but not too hot Thai cuisine.

Kiew wan chicken, pork sateh. Take out available. L&D daily. B/W. N/S. HA. 7001-45 Merrill Rd. 743-0025. $.

Tree Steak House. Steaks, chicken, seafood. Watch them cut your steak right at your table. You get to choose the cut you want D, nightly. FB. N/S. HA. 942 Arlington Rd. 725-0066. $$.

AVONDALE/RIVERSIDE/WESTSI DE Biscottis. Mozzarella bruchetta, Avondale pizza, sand­ wiches. salads, espresso and cappuccino. Check out their new expanded menu and revolving daily specials.

B, L & D, T-Sn. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $.

Buddy Ezell's BBQ. Barbecue, rib eye and smoked leg of lamb are their specialties. Buddy's has been in the same location since 1960. Be sure to check out the local melodrama that's performed every Fri. and Sat. night. L & D, Mon-Sat. B/W. HA. 910 King St. 388-0394 $.

Bowyer's. Jambalaya, gumbo and Cajun boudin (spicy stuffed sausage). The house is over 100 years old and registered with the Historic Society. L, M-F; D, F. B/W. 717 Post St. 358-1813. $$.

The Dockside Jaguars Den. Best known for nachos,

ing to your stomach as it is your eyes K^BarB^.^^rbecue^porK^Hiicken, ribs and^turkejy Soups, salads. ?nd'^^SutPof the same building M S,T nightly- B. 4610 San Juan Ave.

Gourmet cutene^herej^u^woukinY

We have the Best Shrimp Fresh Seafood Closed Monday Open daily at 5:00 PM • Off premises catering • Banquet Facilities up to 150 people

BAYMEADOWS/DEERWOOD________ Banyan's, Jacksonville Marriott at Southpoint Regional cuisine, seafood. Check out the new three-tier breakfast bar featuring made-to-order omelettes and waffles. B, L & D, daily, brunch, Sn. FB. HA. N/S 4670 Salisbury Rd. 296-2222. $$.

Cafe Express. Dine in or take out. Salads, hot and cold sandwiches, charbroiled burgers, premium pizza. Good fast food you won't find in a fast food restaurant. L & D, daily HA. N/S. 10464 Phillips Hwy., 260-5155. $.

Cha-Cha's. Family owned and operated, specializing in authentic Mexican cuisine. L&D, daily. FB. HA. N/S. Rd. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $.

Daruma Japanese Steak House. Offering all the Japanese favorites plus a toy train that delivers your sushi from the prep counter to your plate. L, M-F; D, daily. N/S. HA. FB. 8535-10 Baymeadows Rd. 739-3239.

HA N/S. 9802 Old Baymeadows Rd.. Deerwood

expect it. Go early. D, T-S. zioi ua

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RESTAURANTS Since 1982

■■■■■

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Located under Al A Bridge on the Sntracoasta!

Fernandina Beach, H

$$.

Vrto^s.'nFamny owned and operated serving true Italian "daily9 N/S.aHA: FB3 3825 Baym^adoXs Rd.

IENDEZ

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Oyster Bar & Cocktails

& Betty's, A variety of sandwiches, steaks and sala£fs. All their sandwiches are named after motorized vehicles — try the Honda Hoagie or maybe the Winnebago! B, L & D, M-S. FB. HA. N/S. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $.

Tombo's Backporch. Barbecue is their forte along with traditional favorites like Brunswick stew. B. L, M S; 0 M-F HA 8929 Phillips Hwy., 363-0990. $• , Tory’s Cafe. Continental cuisine, crepes, salads. Tory s is fest known for its quaint and charming at™sP*er* and fast, friendly service. L, M-S. B/W. 9842 Ven’n/s'vwLch^sn.^pizza, pasta. L&D, daily.

■

Fried, Broiled, & Grilled

4>4>.

Deerwood Deli & Diner A real '50s style diner offer­ ing up great American favorites — burgers, fries and shakes. Salads, sandwiches and soups B, L & D, M-S. HA. N/S. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $.

Gubbio's. Italian, pasta specialties, lunch buffet. All of the food at Gubbio's comes directly from Italy through Old World family recipes. L&D, M-S; D, Sn. B/W. 5111 Baymeadows Rd. (at Old Kings Rd). 731-9900. $$.

Hala Cafe. Breakfast, sandwiches and Middle Eastern cuisine. Family owned and operated since 1975. B, L & D, M-S. 9951 Baymeadows Rd. 739-3354. $.

The Loop. Chicago-style pizza, burgers, sandwiches, sal­ ads. Their pizza, burgers and hot dogs were voted Best of Jax by Folio Weekly readers. L&D, daily B/W. N/S. HA. 8221 Southside Blvd. 645-7788. $.

Mediterrania. The only Greek restaurant in town serving lamb, veal, pasta, mousaka, Greek salads and more. L, M-F; D, M-S. B/W. 3877 Baymeadows Rd 731-2898. $$.

Mikado. Japanese cuisine, teriyaki, tempura, tepenyaki, sushi bar. Boasting a brand new, beautiful building, this is the premier Japanese steak house in Jacksonville. L, M-F; D, nightly. FB. 10460 Phillips Hwy. 8860900. $$$.

Peking Restaurant. Chinese cuisine including Mandarin and Cantonese dishes. Many think the food here is just as good as you'll find in New York's Chinatown. L&D, daily. B/W. HA. 9041-181 Southside Blvd. 363-3121. $.

Pizza Cecci Bella! Pizza Cecci makes a white pizza that is a must for cheese lovers. Thick or thin pizza, Italian heros and full Italian meals. 9550-29 Baymeadows Rd., 636-6123. $.

Plaza on the Green Enjoy intimate and exquisite din­ ing in an atrium setting. L&D, daily; Sn, brunch. FB. HA. N/S Located inside the Embassy Suites, 9300 Baymeadows Rd. 731-3555. $$.

The Rock N Roll Diner. Located right next to T-Birds, you can get all fresh, made to order food. One of the specialties is the veggie burger. B, L & D, daily. HA. N/S FB 9039 Southside Blvd. 363-2299. $.

Slider's Cafe. Contemporary American cuisine, seafood specialties. Offering a whimsical tropical atmosphere that'll whisk you off to the islands. L & 0, daily; brunch, Sn. FB. HA. N/S. 9810-3 Baymeadows Rd. (Southside Blvd, and Baymeadows Rd), 645-7777

>L*ID"A\ LW.EEK'EI

261-1001

\

•_____ Z

z “Mommy, when we go north for our vacation, will we be closer to Santa Claus?”

“Yes, Alexander, I guess we will be - about 1000 miles doser than we are now.”

“Well, then if we mail him my wish list from there, maybe he’ll get it faster!"

“Me too, mommy, me too!" (says Andrew)

YES FOLKS, IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR, AGAIN (ALREADY!)!

Our holiday schedule this year will be...

Open Tuesday, 12-20, Thru Friday, 12-23 Open Monday, 12-26 Thru Saturday, 12-31 Closed Sunday & Monday, Jan. 1st & Jan. 2nd Then we’ll be open for the rest of the year!

Lots of excitement in store for Aruanno’s in 1995 - Look for future ads!

Happy Holidays!

uanno^ 647 A1A Beach Blvd.

St. Augustine Beach

737-9236. $$.

HA. 4000 St. J2h"sAVpasTve^, chicken, seafood. You

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St. Augustine’s Best Kept Secret 471-9373 FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

Steaks, ^3f°°d^ soups and sajads.,

food in a casual setting. TaL-ut-^so available.

L, M-S. HA. N/5. 408 Beach B™;a2f£ve been gracious h^sm^loSo. OHenn^veal,.^.

Restaurant Half Hie Fun Is Finding Us > Maryland Blue Crabs & CrabCakes Join Us Monday Nights Football • Food • Fun Drink Specials Too!

SurfSide Sally

P295

Crabhouse & Restaurant!

Dinner Nightly • Closed Tues.

12627 San Jose Blvd. • Mandarin 3 mi. S of 1-295 260-CRAB

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71 / Sutsdo /•Saly

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with any

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Deli: 269-7350

^gTsteTFTHPASN/Sai728 N. Third St. 249-0949.

d i r e c t o r y CONTINUED

of the day, chicken pasta, burge s. C! J

ladas, tacos, fish-A lot of great tasingf()Ot jguana Don't be alarmed when you seei the rQOmy_ he hanging out in the middle of the g319 s 23rd lives there. L 8 D, daily. B/W. N/S. ha. n fchiban9 Don't be fooled by the strip center extenor this place is nice Japanese menu with a susni

“sa'isssh;

Also, a big deck overlooking the ocean. L& D, da y F/B; N/S; H/A. 981 N. First St. 241-1881. $$$. daTy^B/W.^HA.^AzHso'fmto'Rd^Wi'nn Dixie at

The Granajry

269-7222 Gue of Sreat Food t

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Lunch Tues. - Sat 11 - 2:30 Dinner Thurs. - Sal.. 6-10 Reservations Recommended

1I1, 834Tfavid ’s Kingsley i! Orange Park ’ 264-7431

Healthy Cooking With All The Taste.

A

All natural food Open Mon-Fri

459 Kingsley Ave. t Orange Park ’ 264-4118

i

floor Beef's the thing. L, M-F. D, nightly. FB. HA. 1515 N. Third St. 241-1661.$$. , .

The Loop. Chicago-style pizza, burgers, sandwiches salads. Their pizza, burgers and hot dogs were voted Best of Jax by Folio Weekly readers. L 8 D, daily. B/W N/S. HA, 211 N. Third St., Neptune Beach.

241-8476.

14444 Beach Blvd., corner of Beach and San Pablo.

223-6611.$.

Lotus. Cantonese and Szechuan style Chinese cuisine, shrimp to mein, Peking duck. Lush gar­ dens and a waterfall in the adjoining atrium. L 8 D, daily. B/W N/5.

610 S. Third St. 2415618. $.

Manatee Ray's Caribbean style cuisine.

Jerk chicken, seafood, lobster nachos, burritos & quesadillos. Just pull on your sandals and flowered shirt. Brunch, S-Sn; L, weekends; D, nightly. FB. HA. N/S. 314 First St., N. 2413138. $$.

Marker 32. Enjoy din­ ner in a casual setting with every table looking out over the Intracoastal. Serving seafood, steaks, game­ birds, pasta, lamb. L, TF 8 Sn.; D, T-Sn. FB. R 14549 Beach Blvd 223-1534. $$$.

The Melting Pot Cook your own meal in an intimate setting. A Swiss style restaurant featuring all different types of fondue. D daily. B/W. N/S. HA. r' recommended. 301 n’ 10th Ave. 247-91 15'

Mezza Luna. Old World Italian fare, brick wood-burning pizza oven. What atmosPh„e.u!,Beaut|fu| hardwood- Roland -■ u, ,d a real European feel. L 8 D daily FB. HA. N/S. 110

Seafood is the forte of The Cove in Jacksonville Beach, which affords a great view of the Intracoastal.

270-1424. $$.

First Street Grille. Oceanfront grilled steaks, seafood, chicken. Also offering an oceanfront deck and bar. This is the place that won best waterfront dining in Folio Weekly’s Best of Jax. I & D, daily. F8. HA. 807 N. First St. 246-6555. $$.

Gio's Cafe. Dill salmon, chicken Romano, Maine lob­ ster, Italian specialties. They specialize in nouveau cui­ sine - with ties to New York and Los Angeles. D, M-S. FB. HA. N/S. 900 Sawgrass Village, Ponte Vedra Beach 273-0101. $$.

Giovanni's. Italian cuisine, pasta, veal, chicken, seafood. They've become a Jacksonville regular by residing in the same building since 1972. D M-S FB HA. N/S. 1161 Beach Blvd. 249-7787. $$$.

Golden Harbor. Cantonese, Szechuan and Hunan cui­ sine prepared by a chef from New York's Chinatown L & D, daily. FB. N/S. 3940 S. Third St., 241-1888. $.

Hadens Ham Cafe. Grilled and cold sandwiches, rotis­ serie chicken and country style vegetables. Good fresh

MrMurnv's Sports on the tube and good, fresh, R’PXCs“e eats. American style fare, chicken, fish,

Hungry^gVanai^afe.^Mexi-Cali food, burritos.^enchi-

Whole Foods and Deli 1738 Kingsley Ave. Orange Park

If you like our lunches, you’ll love us for Dinner.

We present Northern Italian cuisine in a NeoClassical atmosphere.

.sslood,

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Definite proof that healthy food can abo t SoWftD^SteB/we,363914 Atlantic Blvd.,

11 am- 6pm

the granary

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Harry's Seafood Bar & G"Tle Raw bar items, afoh

American nouvelle cuisine in an elegant, upscale atmosphere. D, T-S. FB. HA. 1000 TPC Blvd., Ponte Vedra Beach. 285-7777. $$$.

Aw Shucks. Seafood, steaks, veal, homemade soups and chowders. Casual elegance permeates the atmos­ phere inside, or dine outside on the deck. L & D, daily.

FB. HA. A1A South, Ponte Vedra Beach. 285-3017. $$.

Capriccio. Chef Giovanni Recupito serves Italian cui­ sine, seafood specialties, pasta and veal in an elegant atmosphere. D, T-Sn. FB. HA. 1021 Atlantic Blvd , Atlantic Beach. 249-5369. $$ Chizu. Sushi bar, steak, seafood, chicken. East and western style seating. Check out what enables a restaurant to be a beaches mainstay since 1984. D, nightly; L, M-F. FB. HA. 1227 S. Third St. 241-8455. $$.

Cove Restaurants, Marina and Game Center.

Cuisine ranging from grilled chicken to blackened sword fish. Every table has a great view of the Intracoastal. L & D, daily; B, Sn. FB. N/S. HA. 2600 Beach Blvd. 249-7777 $$.

Crab Pot. Shrimp, oysters, fish, Maine lobster, steaks.

Also featuring a large, outside deck with live entertain­ ment right on the ocean. L & D daily. FB. HA. R. 12 N. First St. 241-4188 $$.

Dave's at the Beach. This is a deli and an ice cream shop rolled into one. Serving frozen yogurt and ice cream, as well as sandwiches and salads. L & D, daily.

HA. 1535 N. 3rd St. 241-1593. $.

Dolphin Depot. Serving lowcountry cuisine, she-crab soup, crab cakes, Bourbon chicken in an intimate set­ ting. This is where you go if you want a good meal — not an attitude. They like to think they're downscaling the upscale. D, daily. B/W. HA. N/S. 704 N. First St.

entertain

S?sePlen nFgb^ a week D, nightly. FB. N/S. 1222 S.

Beach 249-5573; 246-5100 (take outUs'. NePtUne Miss Judy s. Grab a hunk of cornbread and

St Neptune Beach. 246-0881 St. of Life Cafe Soups, salads, sandwiches and homemade desserts. L & D, M-S. B/W. N/S. A1A at ButTe^lvd.. sand Castle Shopping Center. 249-7667. $. sun Doo Diner. Eclectic American and tropical cuisine, art-deco decor with rich mahogany, chrome and an authentk diner feel. L & D daily; brunch S & Sn. FB. HA. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$.

The Tavern This is a place you II want to call your local hanaout Northern pub-style menu with beef, chicken, olsta and pork. L & D, daily. FB. HA. N/S. 500 Sawgrass Village, Ponte Vedra Beach. 285-3133. $$ Tonino’s Italian Cuisine. Tonmo uses family reapes in creating his Italian specialties including veal, chicken and seafood selections. Also serving real, New York stvle oizza. Enjoy a quiet, candlelit dinner in a cozy atmosphere D, daily. B/W. HA. N/S. 1266 S. 3rd St. 241-5425. $$.

Tres Amigos. Mexican/S pamsh, Cuban dishes, sizzling fajitas chili rellenos. Great place to go with friends for fun and some live music. L & D, daily. FB. HA. 1412 N. First St. 247-7994. $$.

DOWNTOWN_____________________ The Archibald Bed and Breakfast Inn. Salads, soups, sandwiches, Louisville chili and pizza quiche. A great idea for businesspeople in a hurry! L, Mon-Fri. 125 West Second St. 634-1389. $.

Blackstone Grille. American cuisine including seafood, chicken, steaks, salads, desserts. This place is bound to be happening once the Jags hit town. They're right down the street from the Gator Bowl. Daily specials. L & D daily. FB. 233 E. Bay St., Blackstone Bldg. 3543901. $$.

Bay Street Cafe Flame broiled burgers, chicken sand­ wiches, homemade soups, salads, desserts, frozen yogurt and more. You can hobnob with city officials while you have lunch here. It's a favorite ot the City Hall, courthouse and Sheriff's Office bunch. B & L daily.

233 E. Bay St., Blackstone Bldg. 634-0328. $ Cactus Cafe. A Southwestern menu that features burri­ tos, fajitas, burgers, salads, grilled chicken sandwiches.

The contemporary styling of the decor is just as pleas­ ing as their food. L, M-F. HA. 126 W. Adams St., 3509070. $.

Cuco's Good healthy Mexican food featuring fajitas, chimichangas and Macho Nachos. L, M-F. D, S-Sn. FB. HA. N/S. The Jacksonville Landing. 355-6334. $$.

Harry's Oyster Bar. Raw bar, Cajun cooking, grilled fish. L & D, daily. B/W. HA. The Jacksonville Landing.

353-4927. $.

Jacksonville Landing Founder's Food Hall. Bains Deli, Boardwalk Fries, Chinese Combo King, Flamers, Gyro Wrap, Hovan Gourmet, Lubi's, Sakura Japan and Sbarro Italian. Something for everyone. L & D, daily.

B/W. HA. The Jacksonville Landing 353-1229. $.

Johnny Rockets. Classic American cuisine, hamburg­ ers malts, chili fries in a classic malt-shop setting. Kids and senior citizens eat real cheap here! L & D, daily.

HA. N/S. The Jacksonville Landing. 35^8718. $.

Juliette's, Omni Hotel. Grilled medallions of pork Cajun shrimp, steak, a variety of seafood. Jazz piano bar Very elegant dining — great place to take a date to make a lasting impression! Their Sunday brunch was voted Best of Jax by Folio Weekly readers.B, L & Ddaily. FB. N/S. 245 Water St. 355-7118. $$$.

Parkview Cafe. Listed in the National Register of Historic Places, serving new American cuisine. The fare includes soups, salads, quiche and a barbecue pork sandwich with slaw B & L. M-F; D, F-S. B/W. HA. 1001 Main St., 356-3100. $$. e Silver Spoon, Chicken, soups, salads, pastas, ribs, quiche, desserts. Good food and tots of fun. Enjoy a gieat river view white you dine. L & D, daily. FB. R. HA. Tiopr'c cJaCkSo nville Lar|ding. 3534503. $$

. ..

Innrh S Restaurant. Sandwiches, salads, daily best hP!T s’ .Their soap, salad and hot bar special is a Indent fo.rcluncb- L, M-F. FB. HA. Second floor, ndependent Square, 1 Independent Dr. 356-8432. $

fERNANDINA BEACH/AMELIA ISLAND Gril1’ Daily specials, seafood, chicken dish is con ^'V^lne list Tha wine list at the Beech Street and Timn d.byGmany ,0 be the benveen Atlanta 3662 $$P L' F' D' nightly. FB. R 801 Beech St. 277shrimftach"kenesanXichesde|fP™

something different check nut

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Vedra Beach. 285-2636. $$.

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sfisssaStas: ^ird St.^, L33^S:$D' T-S.' brunch, Sn. FB. N/S- 22 S’

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13,1994

I

Loaf-n-tadle. The ultimate in soups and sandwiches!

I

Restaoram C

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ids B98 L Fernandina Beach. 277-1879 $

^D.diV^^^ Palace Saloon. Deli sandwich^

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eat while ^Sfo^ Spedals' Grab a bite to M-S. HA N/S •XK n , ’ natural ,00ds- L a Green Onion Cafe 26?«80. $.

•c meals, chicken and tuna v Natural macrobiot­ find here - their s^^trk™ never kn0" ^at you'11

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4750 Amelia '^nd J^yL°2b7b7y

bleu°tiip? prir?e veal, chicken cordon cltomer S?n' , prime "b 15 definitely a 272 5959 $$ ' U M'F; D' T’S' FB' 2030 WeUs Rd-

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249-6242 • Tues-Sun

Atlantic Blvd, at 3rd St. • Atlantic Beach J

crabmeat wantQns

Mental Health & Educational Services

ftSj.Osaka ‘ ’ Japanese Restaurant. Tempura, sukiyaki, udon dishes, sushi bar. L & D, daily. B/W. HA. 30 Blandino Bigtree Cafe. Soup, salads, sandwiches. L & D, M-Sn- B S-Sn. HA, FB. 10415 San Jose Blvd. 268-2131 $ DeLeon. Mexican menu featuring Polloen-mole, home made salsa and fajitas. Owned and operated by the DeLeon family. L, MT; D, M-S. R, weekends. B/W. HA N/S. 9825-6 San Jose Blvd. 262-5498. $$.

Genghis Khan. Authentic, low-calorie Chinese special­ ties. The chef cooks authentic Mongolian barbecue, and you get to design your own dish and watch it being pre pared. D, M-Sn. B/W. HA. 10601 San Jose Blvd.

268-1668. $.

Gid's. American cuisine, steaks, seafood. L & D, daily; Sn, brunch. FB. HA 3130 Hartley Rd 2688080. $$.

Hebert's on the Bayou. Fun New Orleans atmosphere featuring Cajun cuisine and great red beans ana rice.

They don't know the meaning of the words too hot at Hebert's. L & D, T-Sn; Sn, brunch. B/W. HA. 9965 San Jose Blvd., Merchants Walk. 2604541. $$.

Hing Loung Fine Chinese Cuisine. Cantonese, Szechuan dishes, beef, chicken, pork, seafood. True Chinese cuisine, with no MSG. L & D, S-M. N/S. HA. 11250 Old St. Augustine Rd. 292-1128. $.

Hops Grill & Bar. A brewpub that offers slow ovenroasted prime rib and fresh catch of the day. The signa­ ture beer is Hammerhead Red. L & D, daily. FB. N/S. HA. 9826 San Jose Blvd. 8860296. $$.

Latsa3 ra^id.

Pasta. 14 different pa>Lai, pastas, with choice of sauce lcsuk in unieiciii. wiui miviuc ui aauuc and topping, lasagna, baked ziti. 16,000 different pasta/sauce combinations. Great value meals in a casual atmosphere. L & D, daily. B/W. N/S. HA. Merchants Walk, Blvd. tja-vjja.

292-0930. $. vvoix, 9965 San jau Jose .wjc aiva. ..

Longhorn Steaks.

Stea Its. Beef's the thing. Cowboy cuisine in a casual atmosphere serving fresh-cut steaks, fresh ..

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■ • . _r _i_!j____ i nr.

Canadian salmon and a variety of chicken dishes. L M-F; D^mghtl/FB. ’ ^"Merchants Blvd.

■ ....................... Wat " 9968 San ■Jose —oi-J

292-2333.$$.

The Loop. Chicagostyle pizza, burgers, sandwiches, sal­ ads. Their pizza, burgers and hot dogs were voted Best of Jax by Folio Weekly readers. B, L & D, daily. B/W. N/S. HA. 9965 San Jose Blvd. 262-2210. $.

Outback Steakhouse. G'day mates! Consistently good food, but long waits. Steaks, fish, chicken, ribs in an Australian atmosphere. Outback has the best red meat in Jacksonville according to Folio Weekly rp4ders- 0; nightly. FB. HA. N/S. 9773 San Jose Blvd. 268-GDAY Santionl's. Upscale atmosphere, but still comfortable.

The Santioni's offer an Italian menuI featunngpasta veal, chicken, seafood. D, daily. HA. N/S. 115318 San Surf BSide2Sally. Specializing in Maryland blue crabs,

^2^-

262VX6DSS 9 V' FB-

Vang's Restaurant,

Blvd., Ste. 10. 272-5447. $$.

The Roadhouse. Burgers, chicken wings, deli sandwich­ es, soup and salad. Lunches are really popular here. Also the most popular watering hole in Orange Park. L & D, daily. FB. HA. 231 Blanding Blvd. 2640611. $.

Samelli’s Italian. Daily Italian specialties, pasta, veal.

Elegant, formal dining offering authentic Italian meals. R suggested. L, T-F; D, M-Sn. B/W. HA. 2023 Park Ave. 269-1331.$$$.

Spindrifter Restaurant & Lounge. American continen­ tal cuisine with a seafood buffet on Fri and a daily breakfast buffet L, M-F; D M-S. FB. 300 Park Ave. N, Best Western Hotel. 264-1211.$$.

Sub conscious. Gourmet subs, deli subs, hot dogs, soups and salads in an environment that will make you think. L & D, daily. HA. 6001-23 Argyle Forest Blvd. 7787827. $.

Uncle Pu’s Chinese Restaurant Uncle Pu’s is a real popular place in Orange Park. Part of its charm is the huge fountain in the middle of the restaurant. Chinese specialties. L, M-F. D, nightly. B/W. R. HA. 661 Blanding Blvd. 272-4794. $.

Whitey's Fish Camp. A real Flonda fish camp serving alligator, catfish, seafood cooked to order. L & D, daily.

FB. 2032 Cty. Rd. 220. 2694198. $$.

'

• • • •

Anjali A. Pathak, MJ)., FAACAJP Family Psychiatry _ Offices in Baptist Medical Center, Mandarin & Orange Park

_____

399-0324

1 .

MOSCOW NIGHTS

5751 Benoy Rd. #1 (of cross section of Univ and Beney) Lunch Mon-Fri 11 to 2 CAOC Dinner Tues-Sun 6 to 12 ‘ OU“OU0O

SAY IT WITH RUIN FLOWERS

SAN MARCO/SOUTHBANK_________ Benvenuti. An Italian cafe serving pasta, soup, sand­ wiches and daily specials. Everything served is incredibly fresh. L, T-S. 5133 San Jose Blvd, inside the Interiors Market 733-2223. $.

Cafe Carmon. American cuisine, blackboard menu, speaa| desserts, chocolate truffle cake. The desserts here ^ave been chosen Best of Jax by Folio Weekly readers

A “Just

Bring this Coupon

three years running. B, L & D, M-S. B/W. 1986 San

Marc0 Blvd 3994488 $$. on the Square. Daily seafood catches, beef, lamb, chicken specials. This is the place to gather after work. d, nightly. FB. 1974 San Marco Blvd. 3994848. $$.

Chart House. Upscale setting with a beautiful river view. Specialties include prime rib, seafood, chicken, mud pie. D, nightly. FB. HA 601 Hendricks Ave., Southbank Riverwalk. 398-3353. $$.

Crawdaddy's. Floridian cuisine; fish and aged beef.

Touting a wonderful view, dandng and bar right next door to the restaurant. L & D daily. FB. R suggested. HA. N/S. 1643 Prudential Dr. On the Riverwalk. 396-3546

o —

$$

Dane's. Duck, lamb, steak, seafood. Elegant, gourmet cuisine in an intimate setting. L. M-F. D, W-S. 1011 Riviera St. corner of San Marco Blvd. 346-3263. $$.

Denny Moran's. Enjoy steak, seafood, chicken and prime rib specials in a comfortable, casual Southwestern atmosphere. D, daily. FB. HA N/S. 4440 Hendricks Ave. 737-9522. $$. , . r rll Filling Station Cafe and Catenng. Stop in and fill up on some pasta, salads and sandwiches in this restau­ rant that used to be a real gas station. If you're in a hum the qourmet dinners are available to go. B &L. M-F; D. F-S. Special events brunch only. B/W. HA. 1004 Hendridts Ave. 398-3663. $$.

Juice-n-lava. SeattlMtyle coffee bar serving vegetari­ an chicken, Mexican and shrimp specialties. Soups, oastas quiches, salads and healthy sandwiches are just ifew'of the delights. Decadent desserts always avaiF Ll^B L & D daily. Brunch. Sn. N/S. HA. 4444

'0

SggBSStff* -- ggeijsti.

Faiitas are the specialty.

t

Ruth Weinstein Klein PhJ).

Cafe Camille. Enjoy some

Kingsley Ave. 26f,743J„

Enjoy delicious Russian and Jewish

Licensed Mental Health Counselor/School Psychologist

salads Their pizza, burgers and hot dogs were voted

^•n^ng™ Parte L, T-S; D. Th-S. B/W. N/S. HA. 834

HBffi

Individual-Marriage-Family Emotional & Behavioral Problems Learning Disabilities Attention Deficit Disorder Counseling-Testing-Tutoring

ORANGE PARK_________________ ——

a*™.

jumranc RUSSIAN

Adults — Children

^edLMpA'chicagiXl'e pizza, burgers, sandwiches

292-3929. $$■

PLEASE CALL FOR RESERVATIONS.

The Melting Pot. Cook your own meal in an intimate setting A Swiss style restaurant featuring all different D-daily- B/W. N/S. HA. R, recommend­ ed. 450 Blanding Blvd. 272-1806. $$. ______ Oriental Star. Chinese style chicken, beef, seafood; dif-

laily. N/S. HA. 1607 Wells Rd.

• -J J- I -7 / O. J>,

ALDINNER A UERY SPECIAL DINNER 3&SE3$ERUE^ ’RUE^xx THURSDAY; DECEMBER 15 HONORING THE CREATIVE TALENT OF OUR CHEFS U PAIGE KREST & PAUL WOLFE. LIVE MUSIC BYSAMPACETTL

S2.«

U/3O. 5.

fprpnt

Bella Pizza. Pizza by the slice or whole, subs, pasta sal­ ads and wonderful calzones. Lots of Italian heritaqe in a T^tazK^eL & D’ 8/W. 9426 San Jose Blvd.

yk

of

wxe,»>en ®n earfA^ annoWMS’^.

/-w * a cafe *

Family oriented restaurant boasts ai taste of oH Italy in a contemporary setting L & D. daily. FB. 4456 He^toAve. 'YJnrpwina Co. Dine on the river on grilled Sn%k a*d seafood by gourmet chef Tim Felver.

398-8601

for a fabulous

o

0 0 11 8 8 s 0 8 8 0 0 8 0 ONLY $2.99 8I I Your choice! Pasta with Meat Sauce, 0 Pasta _____......................... _ 0 with Pepperoni, Pasta with Nino's Famous Tomato Sauce. Includesfresh 8 I and hot bread. Offer is good‘for up I ______________ _____ 0 salad to eight people (beverage purchase 0 0 required), so bring thefamily!

0 0 0 i 0 I I I I 0 8 fl Four Stars 0 0

by Jonathon Rogers i 0 Florida Times-Union 0 I 7457 103rd St. 4456 Hendricks Ave. 0 (just I west of 1-295) (Miramar Center) 0 779-7568 8 733-1011 8 Dine in only 11 - 4p.m. Not valid with' I

SUNDAY LUNCH

other offers. Good thru 1-22-95.

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13. 1994

I

I

S^^«SSX es, daily sPecl.a ^nj gerontologist who know their

M J'S T

Delicious Things Happen When You Dine At

Zf h e<£

W Cafe Serving Lunch Mon 11-3, Tues-Sun 11-5 Serving Dinner Tues-Sun 5-close 4255 A1A South • St. Augustine Beach

904/471-7484

g.TtS B/W. 1574 U.S. 1 5.. Lrttle

Restaurant

Harbor Plaza 829'1|0°Bu$r„et. Nine pasta entrees, Raintree Ca;’uaL9appetizer crepes. D, nightly. FB.

directory C ONTINUED

Nightly entertainment. L & D, daily. FB. HA. 835 Gulf Life Dr. 398-2299. $$.

San Marco Deli Sandwiches, burgers, salads, soups, breakfast foods. You can watch them make your authentic Cuban sandwich —it'll make you think you're in Miami. B & L, M-S. HA. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 3991306.$.

24 Miramar. Chef Brian Clayton is new to the area — he's a recent transplant from Disney World. His special­ ty is New American Cuisine, better known as trendy food, using local ingredients. D, M-S. B/W. HA, N/S. 4446 Hendricks Ave 448-2424. $$$.

Worman’s Bakery and Deli New York style deli meats, pastries, sand­ wiches, bread. Worman’s has been in business in Jacksonville since 1924 — and they've built quite a name for themselves. Best bagels in town say Folio Weekly readers. B & L, daily; D, M-S. HA. 5613 San Jose Blvd. 7399911. $.

nightly FB. HA N/S. 14 Castillo Dr. 824-3663 Cafe Camacho. Cuban-American cuisine. B, L & D, daily. B/W. 11-C Aviles St. 824-7030. $$.

Conch House Waterfront setting, seafood, steaks, pasta Sit over the water in one of the outside gond<> las or enjoy an intimate meal inside. L & D, daily. FB. 57 ComaresAve 824-2046.$$. . .

Covehouse Seafood Restaurant. SPecia''zin9 conch, Bahamian style seafood and sandwiches Also boasting a spectacular view of the Fort. B & L, daily, D, Fri-Sn. B/W. HA 15 St. George St. 829-1735. $.

San Marco Grille. American-styled cuisine, steak

HA. N/S. 123 San Marco Ave. 824-2788. 5>$-

SOUTHSIDE____________

'O

oroviw; LI INN g, RESTAURANT,^/

Ste.fya.cit “ PCace. '/a 115 Cordova St. • St. Augustine Reservations appreciated (904) 826-0781

Serving Lunch & Dinner 7 Days A Week ° Beer & Wine Reservations Recommended 904-261-6184 Located At Palmetto Walk Between the Ritz-Carlton & the Plantation Amelia Island, Florida

GIANT PARTY SUBS

3 AND 6FT. SUBS FOR YOUR HOLIDAY PARTIES

conscious Argyle Village Square I -295 and Blanding Next to Service Merchandise

778-SUBS

Backyard Cafe. They bring the out­ doors inside so you don't get wet while dining on homestyle burgers, steak, chicken, hoagies. L, daily; D, F. 10769 Beach Blvd. 642 0777. $.

Bunky's. Enjoy a taste of Chicago ■■ 1 without ever leaving River City Offering pizza, authentic sandwiches and full dinners. Don't forget to check out their nightly specials. L & D, M-S B/W. HA. 8570 Phillips Hwy. 4480699. $.

The Dragon. Chinese cuisine, seafood, sesame chicken, Cantonese roast duck. Located in the authentic Chinese building right on Southside Blvd. L & D, M-S. HA N/S. 3820 Southside Blvd 646-1478. $ Hala Cafe. Home of kabobs, tabbouleh and falafel Family owned and operated for 19 years. B, L & D, M-S 4323 University Blvd., S 733-1855.$ The Happy Garden. Offering Szechuan, Cantonese and Mandarin cuisine as well as a Chinese buffet. L, M-F & Sn. D, nightly. HA, N/S. 5671 See, this chopstick thing's a breeze. Vang's restaurant, located in Mandarin, proudly serves tantaW. University Blvd. 737-3521 $ .Havana Jax FEnjoy ’ , real Cuban cuisine |izing Vietnamese dishes — like triangle shrimp rolls and sweet and sour tofu.

• mnrnknro Tinrn cnttinn in a casual atmosphere The setting will make you think you're sitting on a Havana beachfront L & D, M-S. B/W. HA N/S. 2578 Atlantic Blvd 399Creekside. Southern-style and seafood specialties.

Steve's. Serving Italian specialties including pasta, 0609 $.

Overlooking Gonzales Creek. Fast service and good chicken, veal, steak and shrimp. N/S. HA. FB, L & D, The Loop. Chicago style pizza, burgers, sandwiches, food have become Creekside's signature. FB. HA. D, salads. Their pizza, burgers and hot dogs were voted daily. 2085 SR 3, in the Portman Plaza. 461-7286. $. nightly 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$.

Best of Jax by Folio Weekly readers. L & D, daily. B/W. Tony G's. Overlook St. Augustine beach while dining Fiddler's Green. Oceanfront dining featuring local N/S. HA 6426 Bowden Rd. 448-0322 $. on steaks, seafood, pasta, poultry and fresh, home­ seafood, chicken, steaks. The desserts, particularly the Moscow Nights. Jacksonville's only authentic Russian made desserts. N/S. HA. FB L & D, daily. 321 A1A creme-brule, shouldn't be missed. D, nightly. FB. R. 50 restaurant offering delicious Russian and Jewish cuisine.

Beach Blvd. 461-1025. $$.

Anahma Dr. 824-8897. $$.

Sit down or take out from the deli bar. L & D, daily Veggie Mama's. Serving sandwiches, tofu, humus, Florida Cracker Cafe.

Florida coastal cuisine, seafood, B/W. NS. 5751 Beney Rd, #1. 730-5036. $$. tabouli and vegetable burritos using all organic fruits chicken, steaks, burgers on charming St. George St. L, Mudville Grille. Think of a sports bar and an old soda and vegetables. N/S. L, M-F; B & L, S. 179 A San daily; D, W-Sn B/W. HA. 81 St. George St. 829-0397. shop rolled into one and you've got the Mudville Grille.

Marco Blvd. 8264)210. $.

This will be a great place to stop in for a salad or sand­ Villa Santa Monica. Homemade Italian/Continental Gypsy Cab Company. International menu featuring wich while you watch one of the football games. L & cuisine prepared by a real Italian chef. L & D, W-M. very large portions at reasonable prices. L, W-M; D, D, daily. N/S HA. B/W. 3105 Beach Blvd. 398M326. $ B/W. N/S. 120 San Marco Ave. 8264)209. $$. nightly. FB. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$.

Outback Steakhouse. G'day mate! Consistently good Waves Cafe. Creative American cuisine, gourmet sal­ La Parisienne.

Classic French cuisine, soups, pastries. food but long waits. Steaks, fish, chicken, ribs in an ads, crepes, quiches, steaks, sandwiches. L, daily; D, TOld World charm at it's best L & D, T-Sn. B/W. HA. R Australian atmosphere. Outback was voted as having Sn^B/W HA. 4255 A1A S., Seaside Plaza. 471-7484.

60 Hypolita St. 829-0055 $$. the best red meat in Jacksonville by Folio Weekly read­ Le Pavilion Continental cuisine, rack of lamb, seafood ers. L & D, daily. FB. HA. N/S. Regency Park, Atlantic dishes. L & D, daily FB. HA. N/s. 45 San Marco Ave Blvd. 720-1818. $$.

824-6202 $$.

Pasta Cuisine. Italian cuisine in an intimate atmos­ Lighthouse Park Restaurant Specializing in coastal phere. Atmosphere, along with the authentic meals, cuisine. Award-winning chowders, spicy Creole gum­ will take you straight back to Italy. L, M-F; D, M-S. B/W. bos, gourmet burgers. B, L, & D, daily. B/W. 442 R suggested. 2644 Atlantic Blvd 396-1659. $$.

Ocean Vista Ave. (across from the lighthouse, on the Sala Thai Restaurant. Thai chicken, seafood, vegetarian water).

826-4002 $$ entrees. For those who like it sweet, try the special Thai Magnolias. International cuisine including steak, chick­ tea L & D, daily. 10769-10 Beach Blvd 641-8384. $. en and seafood specialties with most tables having a Shiska Grill Owner Harry Patel comes from Britain waterfront view. L, T-F; D, T-Sn; brunch, S-Sn, B/W HA where Indian restaurants are in abundance. Enjoy pop­ Marker 32, a Jacksonville Beach NS. 252 Camache Harbor. 824-7898. $$. ular dishes like chicken tikka masala or mixed vegetable Marigold's Eclectic meals served in an up-beat con­ curry. D, daily; Brunch, Sn. FB N/S. HA. 3233 Emerson avonte, is now open for lunch Tuesday temporary atmosphere. The chef uses only the freshest St. 398-3331. $$. through Friday and Sunday from 11:30 ingredients he can get and uses organic ingredients Tom & Betty's. A variety of sandwiches, steaks and tOr k 0 P P- Look for appetizers like D' daily- B/W- N'5' 415 Anastasia salads. All their sandwiches are named after motorized Diva. azy-bUbb. 3>3>. vehicles - try the Honda Hoagie or maybe the ite fish ceviche with tomato, cilantro Matanzas Bay Cafe. Eclectic American cuisine View Winnebago' B, L & D, M-S. FB. N/S. HA. 1500 salsa and cumin tortilla chips; a sampler both the Fort and the Bridge of Lions while dining L TUniversity Blvd. W. 448-5559. $.

Vito's Italian Cafe. Family owned and operated serv­ F; D, T-Sn; champagne brunch, S-Sn FB NS 'l> tnrtin se ectlon of crab and corn chowder, Avenida Menendez. 829-8141. $$ ing authentic italian cuisine. Specializing in Pasta, hT^T.LandthesoupdeJour; entrees Mediterraneo Italian cuisine, pasta, chicken veal seafood, chicken, veal and pizza. L & D, daily. HA. 4660 lnclude rosemary grilled Atlantic Arnett. 47L6077I $/ $ ' 13*h * • St'' Salisbury Rd, at the Comfort Inn. 296-5013. $.

si

$$.

Quick Bite©

ST. AUGUSTINE___________________ Antonio's. A variety of Italian favorites, fresh pasta, prime rib, seafood, chicken, veal. And their salad bar and deserts just can't be beat. D, nightly. FB. R. N/S. HA. Corner of SRs 3 and 312. 471-3835. $$.

Aruanno's. Pasta, seafood, veal. New York strip served in an extremely intimate atmosphere. D, T-S. B/W. R suggested. HA. 2705 A1A S. 471-9373. $$.

Athena Restaurant. An eclectic menu specializing in Greek and Italian dishes, along with seafood, steaks, sandwiches, breakfast items. You can also choose from

O Steen s. Seafood, fried shrimp. L & D T-S HA. 205 Anastasia Blvd. 829-6974. $$. ' Old City House. Creative American cuisine The

HoTA“nA^0°AerTnSn;°BPlrrt%e °H'd

Cordova St. 826-0781 $$

'

'

HA' 115

salmon with a roasted pepper and eggmenn •a^out,®nd other nouveau cuisine hol?ri?

We’re lookin8 fonvard to the the Ann teason and want to give people a to check out our cuisine at HenrirvJ n”/’" says manager Mike to s?p^> f Snnday, patrons can expect well Ma lW n^nch items °n the menu as

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13. 1994 tT

ft*--*”

After Five Dressing Made Affordable

dope

Drums and Smoke Signak

Apparel \ Accessories

mm,

K

By Cecil Adams

EHCORE! ?VFEE Li?? X MOE RAY f 55 V

O ST^KT

JA7CKW XEJHOAf \\ remre

.1£ .<

V\ f~\ /?7henever I watch an old \\//\V/ “Tarzan” movie on TV,, right when Tarzan and XV ao few of n the intruding i: — white guys are worried sick and looking high and low we suddenly hear the drums. Tarzan stiffens, puts v.---- 1 .to ----one ---------------------a" hand ear,-----and’announces, “They have the girl. She is well, but they will not give her back unless you shut down your mines. They are 200 men strong and have guns. They will be here before dark tonight.”

Huh? How did he get that from a few drumbeats? Is there really a way to communicate any message besides “I’m beating a drum” across the jun­ gle like this? And while you’re at it, what’s the story with those smoke signals the Indians were always sending? — Lying Awake in Wonder, Anna Banana.

minant of meaning in Bantu words is high versus low intonation. In the Bantu language Kele, for example, liala means “fiance” if the syllables are intoned lowhigh-low and “rubbish pit" if pronounced L-L-L. You will appreciate, therefore, the importance of keeping Bantu intonations straight.

Drum telegraphy is accomplished using two-tone drums that duplicate these tonal patterns. You are thinking you see a fatal flaw in this approach: like there’s only one three-syllable word in Kele that’s intoned LH-L? Of course not. To provide unique tonal combinations common words are replaced by stock phrases. Thus, songe (moon, H-H) is distinguished from kaka (fowl, also H-H) by stretching out the for­ mer into songe li tange la manga, “the moon looks down at the earth," H-H-L-H-LL-L-L, and the latter into kaka olongo la bokiokio, “the fowl, the little one which says ‘kiokio,’” H-H-L-H-H-L-L-H-L-H-L. This procedure gives drum messages a You don’t believe everything you see in the movies? In the age of Oliver Stone this somewhat discursive quality. The English is comforting news. But there really are sentence, “The missionary is coming upriv­ er to our village tomorrow. Bring water and such things as talking drums.

First let’s kiss off Indian smoke signals. firewood to his house,” parses out to the Some Native American tribes did use drummed equivalent of the following: White man spirit from the forest / of the smoke signals, particularly on the plains or “leaf used for roofs / comes upriver, comes in the Southwest, where the sky was usual­ upriver / when tomorrow has risen / on ly clear and the view unobstructed. But the high in the sky / to the town and the village message was pretty basic. An army captain / of us / come, come, come, / bring water in the 1860s writes: “Apache smoke signals of lakaila vine / bring sticks of firewood / are of various kinds, each one significant to the house with shingles high above I of of a particular object. A sudden puff, rising the white man spirit from the forest / of the from the mountain heights ... indicates the leaf used for roofs.” Such a message, cuin com-. presence of a strange party upon he plain wjth stop and start sjgna|s repeti. below. If these puffs are rapidly r p tjQn parity bits _ wait a sec, wrong techthey are a warning that strangers are nology Anyway, it might take ten minutes armed and numerous. If a steady smoke s nology. nologyAnyway, ^yw y,^it might take ten minutes maintained for some time the object is to Johnny WeissmuI|er could get the collect the scattered bands of savages ddft jn seconds is strictly Hollywood, some designated point, with hostile inteneventua,|y the dri[t could be gotten, tion, should it be Pract|,c^'efir^‘and in fairly precise terms^ For more see means of signaling inc uded fires (a j F Carrington's “Talking Drums of Africa night), gesticulating with DianKeis, rio/icn (1949), fmm from which all the above examples are drawn.

communication you have to>gc> to^centr Africa where the Bantu family of lan«uaS“

"”“«ke».Sy B».u

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Ceci! nuumo, '.‘.'cck'y, PhitlirK Hun, Ste 11, Jacksonville, FL 32256.

(

CAPPUCCINO

)

I pscale Consignment llottliqne 3576 University Boulevard. West located between Stein Man and I’tiblix 730-3372

Gourmet Coffees Homemade Soups, Salads & Sandwiches Pastries & Desserts

Put on a WHOLE NEW ATTITUDE.

dingo’

I

available at

©K]

* Orange Park Mall 269-1373

Belt, Yogurts Ice Cream 241-1539 1535 N. 3rd St • Jacksonville Beach

This Holiday Season Treat Yourself To Vietnamese Cuisine

■

I

k

]

Coma toy some of our specialties

cha gio (Vietnamese fried rolls) cha gio tom (triangle shnmp rolls) bun thit nuong (BBQ pork) dau hu chua ngot (sweet & sour tofu) banh xeo chay (vegetarian crepe) rau cai xao (mixed vegetables) vit quay nguvi huong (duck imperial)

VANG’S XT?esf(////*a/if

Serving Fine Vietnamese Cuisine 292-3929 Lunch: Tues - Sat. Dinner: Tues - Sun Closed Mon 11700 San Jose Blvd. (between Pic N Save & Winn-Dixie) FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

co

I Indulge Your 1 Taste for the

The

Clearing House Inc. Avoid the Christinas rush and hassle.

Shop us for unique Christmas gifts, ornaments and other items for your home.

New items arriving daily!

|t ft aD

We are a classic consignment shop featuring upscale household furnishings!

Charitable Donations

exotic

r------------ 1

I 10% off entire I ) meal with this | coupon. Not I valid with other i offers

from certain establishments. Why.

By Teresa Hicks

CTM ROO(T)

9550 Baymeadows Rd. (behind Chili's)

636-5650

Tues - Sat 10 - 5:30

*

7001-45 Merrill Rd. 743-0025 Dames Pt Plaza • (near Albertsons)

A New Wave D®$ 'u'Ero® BeaeEfe

}

Monday- Line Dance w/ Country Music 8-11 Tuesday- Trip on Tuesday 0 Live Alternative Music ° Free Keg 9-10 Wednesday- Ladies Night• DJ & Dance Ladies Drink Free 9-11 Thursday- Alternative New Band Night Friday- High Energy Alternative DJ & Dance 9-Close Saturday- High Energy Alternative DJ & Dance 9-Close Sunday- Live Jazz Jam

■^BEflfCIICbt ICHNfiE

J A-

JAtyAjY’A

The taps and bottles behind Trade Winds bar owner Toni Leonard causes her problems when trying to collect donations for charity.

Holiday Inn Oceanfront 860 AIA Beach Blvd.• St. Augustine Beach • (904) 471-1555

We’re your connection to the furniture capital of the world.

of Historic St. Augustine November 19,1994 thru January 31,1995 Enjoy Shopping, Dining, Entertainment, and Extended Hours in the Downtown Historic Area eUPCOMSNG EVENTS&

Over 175 catalogues to choose from. We guarantee the lowest prices in leather furniture.

• Santa Comes to Town • •Christmas Parade • • Musical Entertainment • • Arts & Crafts Festival • • Grande Illumination • •Regatta of Lights • • Art Gallery Tours • • 18th Century Music I Dance • •Quaint Horse & Carriage Rides • •Tour of 19 Historical Bed & Breakfast Inns • •Photo Contest!"

Prizes will be awarded to winners for best photo of light display!

Leather — ------ Works Furniture -

Stroll the quaint streets of old St. Augustine and see the city as its never been seen before. Feel the warmth and romance of its beauty.

OF NORTH CAROLINA

241-5024 1155 Atlantic Blvd • Atlantic Beach

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

SPONSORED BY: Historic St. Augustine Area Council of the Chamber of Commerce & The City of St. Augustine Additional Information Call Joy MacMillan 824-9437 For Daily Event Information call 825-1000

> ontrary to popular belief, not everybody wants donations this evei/ . holiday season. At least that’s the attitude Club 5’s General Manager James Reed, better known as J.R., is encountering.

For three years, J.R. has attempted to host annual Christmas benefits at his club, He donates the use of the club, including sound equipment, security and staff, and ________ also donates ten _percent of all the proceeds.

Local bands agree to play for free and admission to the event is based on the organization targeted for that year.

This year J.R. decided to support the City Rescue Mission. Much to his dismay, the Mission pulled out just before the press release was issued. “They told me there was a conflict of interest because 1 have alcohol on the premises and they are trying to reform alcoholics," says JR. “They also suggested that it was because of the questionable talent that I book in my club for live entertainment."

The “questionable talent” is groups like Marilyn Manson — which Club 5 bid on to perform at their Five Points location. (This is the same band that the Christian Coalition is attempting to ban from performing in city facilities.)

Is the appearance of these organizations so important that down " L> .......

"7 they ”should ""'7 ?turn ““* TAI ’” support because of controversial issues? City Rescue Mission director Billy Fox explains, “We’re not criticizing his establishment, but he serves alcohol and provides entertain­ ment which does not support the best inter­ est of the mission.”

Fox was concerned because the event is a joint public effort between the Mission and Club 5. “If he were to make a donation privately it would be different. Once you hook hands with them [Club 5] you say that you agree with what they stand for.”

In 1992, Club 5 sponsored a toy collec­ tion that was immensely successful for the Dorcas Drake Christmas Party. Admission

was a toy with a value of $5.95 or greater, Club patrons stood outside, toy and receipt in hand, waiting to get in and dance to the music of the ten bands performing. J.R. remembers, “Truck loads of toys were taken away that night. It was the biggest night the club ever had. We had to turn away 400 people (most of which left their toys although they could not get in).

The following year Club 5 attempted to arrange the same event for the foundation.

Since the organization already had a similar venue for a fund-raiser, they cancelled the event with Club 5.

On Dec. 4, Trade Winds, a St Augustine hot spot for live entertainment and good times, held its third successful year of fund-raising for the SL Augustine’s Youth Services Boy’s Home, “Fortunately we were able to raise $1,926 for the home,” says owner Toni Leonard. “That figure exceeds lastyear’s efforts.”

As Trade Winds owner, Leonard is exposed to a lot of opposition while she is out collecting. “I’d rather clean 45 toilets than go out and collect donations,” says ILeonard.

— • • ■ rude to me “They are absolutely because 1 am owner ( ” they 2 don . ’t of' a bar” If want,to donate they should just say so.”

When told about the^ifficulties Club 5 is ' facing, Leonard commented, “You just got to realize when you’re in this business, that people act stupid toward you. I1 learned a People * .J long— time ago to -----not let ...J mv feelincs S'set1 HUlt hurt •.------ .— y_eeungs get nurt by those types of actions. There are plenty of people out there that need the support and will accept it.”

On Dec. 17 at 4:00 p.m., 10 of Jacksonville s most popular local bands, like Racbo Berlin,, and Club 5 will host Alternative For Hunger and the Homeless.” u e Proceeds will go to Second Harvest Food Bank of N.E. Fla. Admission is one 1n2n^>er's^a^^e food or an article of clothing. “I’m happy that we get to do this r-L d cornrpunity. I don’t understand why uty Rescue Mission turned us down, but 1 do understand politics,” says J.R.

news of the weird

—4=— HomeFitness

Acquired Artistic Sense

All The Glitter Of The Holidays

Florida's Largest Fitness Equipment Dealer!

By Chuck Shepherd

Geraci, 35 whose show of “colorful, abstract­ fish opened in a galleiy in South Bend, Wash, gently. Geraci suffered “severe brain damautorn°t>ile accident, from which he has largely recovered except for two conditions: (1) He sometimes stares aimlessly at things for hours at a time, and (2) he has suddenly acquired an artistic sense after a life­ long passion for nonartistic endeavors such as math. Recalled Geraci, of his first flash of artis­ tic insight, during a 1992 therapy class: “I had eight colored pencils, and I just started to draw ... what I saw in my mind.” A University of Washington neuropsychiatrist said there is “nothing in the (medical) literature” to explain Geraci’s condition.

ELECTION RECAP • Robert Gamer, who won the Republican nomination for Hawaii’s congressional seat in September, dropped out of sight after that and missed the entire campaign before losing the election in November to incumbent Patsy Mink. The party hired private detectives to track him down but discovered his address and phone number were invalid and that he had no credit history. One person who signed his original nominating petition said he thinks Gamer is well and may be living on a boat.

• After a state legislative candidates’ forum in Wentworth, N.C., in October, the wife of the Republican challenger tore into the incum­ bent, Rep. Bertha “B" Holt, after accusing Holt of “smiling and making fun of my husband” during his speech. Said the wife, Cathy Miller: “I’d like to pull every white hair out of that (deleted in original story) head.” Said candidate Ken Miller: “I think my wife is like any other female in a similar situation. She was defending her own.”

• In September, after six losing quixotic cam­ paigns for parliament in Denmark, standup comedian Jacob Haugaard actually got elect­ ed. Among his campaign promises this time were good weather, better Christmas pre­ sents, guaranteed tail winds for all cyclists and standard-size dust bags in vacuum cleaners.

assured that the truck, which made four trips, could pass through all traffic signals without stopping.

In August, Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad of Malaysia — .......J a new can---- j — ,proposed mg policy, extending for the first time to women, who could receive the same non­ scarring lashes as .problem schoolboys, ... as punishment for such crimes as illegal immigration.

• A former municipal morgue attendant in Brisbane, Australia, told reporters in July that the morgue routinely made available for researchers a variety of organs from corpses without permission from the families of the deceased. In particular, he said the morgue sold pituitary glands collected during the late1980s for about 50 cents each in order to fund a staff Christmas party last year.

• In Brownsville, Texas, in September, Laura Lugo, 27, accused two women of luring her to a Mexican clinic in 1992 when she was 8 1/2 months pregnant, drugging her, arranging for a C-section and stealing her baby. Paulyna and Rosa Botello, Mexican nationals who were living legally in the U.S., denied the charges and told investigators at various times that each of them was the mother of the child, who is now in a foster home. As part of her lawsuit to gain custody of the child, Lugo submitted to DNA testing, which established a 99 percent likelihood that she is the mother.

• Operating like noted police public-relations mascots Officer Friendly and Officer McGruff, a costumed Barry J. Bullet visited kinder­ gartens and day-care centers in suburban Chicago earlier in the year to tell kids, among <other ” "things, to hit the floor immediately if they hear gunfire. early 1994.

1994, accordins according to the National •- As of earlv Catholic Reporter, a machine was available to gather sperm for medical purposes that would sidestep the church’s two objections to masturbation (direct stimulation of the penis and presence of erotic thoughts).

Experimenting with a machine that attaches to and vibrates the testicles, researchers at the University of the Sacred Heart in Rome OKed the device for further tests and eventual commercial use.

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We’ve relocated to 9965-8 San Jose Blvd 0 Merchants Walk •

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9810-10 Baymeadows Rd. Jacksonville 642-0022

268-6869

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I DON’T THINK SO • According to doctors in Pittsburgh in June, Sherri Lynn Rossi was hit in the head more than 20 times with a blunt object and left cov­ ered in blood and in a coma on the side of a road. When she came out of the coma, she identified her attacker as her husband, Richard A. Rossi Jr., pastor of the local, independent, charismatic First Love Church, Thompson and David Young told the telling police that Rev. Rossi had alighted Milwaukee Sentinel in September thrt smee from his own car, “started acting weird,” young black males are about 5 times more taken the wheel Wllccl of her car with ------her ---------inside, likely to be murdered than ^h^ s P driven t0 a rura| area and beat her. Rev tine wilderness should be estabiisnea i immediately demed the charge, msisttheir preservation. The U.S. Departmento hijacker h been a the Interior once rejected a nfwho looked like him and had a car hke his the Samish Indian Tnbe on the ground tn was „very p^bfe, oh, yes that its members were not “wild. bis wife-s attacker was Satan in human form.

SEEDS OF OUR DESTRUCTION . • Reminding the public that the Endangered Species Act of 1973 applies to "mammals two activist petitions were recently filed with

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FOR ADVANCE RESERVATIONS & INFORMATION, CALL TODAY

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Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Hwy., Ste. Il, Jacksonville, PL 32256.

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\ GIFT CERTIFICATES • \ AVAILABLE RAMADA INN CONTMUNCT CLNTER

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

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FOLIO WEEKLY CLASSIFIED See it Say it Find it Seil it In Folio Weekly's Classified Ads

INDEX FOR SALE 101 Antiques 103 Appliances 105 Art 107 Articles Wanted

109 Audio/VIdeo Equipment 111 Autos/Trucks 113 Auto Parts & Services 115 Autos Wanted 117 Bicycles/ Motorcycles 119 Boats/Yachts 121 Books 123 Business Equipment 125 Clothes/ Jewelry 126 Creativity/ Self Expression 127 Computers 129 Crafts 131 Diet Products 133 Furniture/ Furnishings 135 Garage Sales 137 Good Things to Eat 139 Miscellaneous

141 Mobile Homes 143 Musical Instruments 145 Pets 147 Photography 149 Sporting Goods 150 Tickets for Sale 151 Wanted to Buy SERVICES_________ 201 Artists 203 Beauty & Grooming 205 Bed & Breakfast Inns 207 Boats 209 Business Opportunities 211 Catering 213 Child Care 215 Cleaning 217 Clubs & Organizations

247 Phono Services 249 Photography/ Video 250 Printing 251 Psychlcs/Astrology 252 Protection/ Security 253 Recordings 254 Resume Services 255 Sewing/ Tailoring 257 Spiritual 258 Support Groups/ Counseling 259 Travel 261 Weddings 263 Word Processing Typing

218 Dance Instruction 219 Diet Counseling 221 Education 223 Entertainers 224 Entertainment 225 Events 227 Financial Services 229 Fund Raising Opportunities 231 Health/Fitness 233 Instruction 235 Legal 237 Messages and Announcements 239 Miscellaneous Services 240 Models Wanted 241 Moving 243 Musicians for Hire 244 Musical Services 245 Pots

HELP WANTED 301 Full-Time

Employment 303 Part-Time Employment 305 Actors Wanted 307 Musicians Wanted 309 Seeking Employment 311 Volunteers Needed

REAL ESTATE 401 Arlington/ Regency 403 Avondale/ Riverside 405 Baymeadows/ Deerwood 407 Beaches 409 Downtown 410 Green Cove Springs 411 Mandarin 413 Northside

415 Orange Park 417 Ortega/ Venetia 419 San Marco/ South Bank 421 Southside 423 Westside 425 St. Augustine 427 Lots for Sale 429 Commercial 431 Condominiums 433 Real Estate Wanted

HOME IMPROVEMENT 501 Alarms/ Security 503 Building Contractors 505 Interior Design 507 Landscaping 509 Pools/Spa 511 Renovations 513 Repairs

515 Building Supplies

RENTALS_______ 601 ApartmantsFurnished 603 ApartmentsUnfurnished 605 Condominiums 607 Houses for Rent 609 Offices for Rent 611 Rentals Wanted 613 Roommates 615 Services for Renters 617 Vacation Rentals

eligibles_____ 701 Singles Scene 703 Seeking Men 705 Seeking Women

. Use This Form to Place Your Folio Weekly Classified Ad ■ -

| PRINT CLEARLY:

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n Fill HU out the form and send it in with a check or credit card information or give us a call at u 260-9770 Monday through Friday from 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. The deadline for payment and ad placement is every Wednesday by 5 p.m. for the following Tuesday.

SEND ORDER BLANK AND PAYMENT TO: Classifieds, Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Highway, Suite 11, Jacksonville, FL 32256. If you’d like to drop by we’re a 1/2 mile north of the Avenues Mall (just past the intersection of Phillips Highway and I-95). The order blank can also be faxed (260-9773).

DISPLAY CLASSIFIEDS:

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Call | L (904) 444-4444

Folio Weekly offers typesetting and layout design for display classified ads. Space reser­ vations are required by 5 p.m. Monday, eight (8) days prior to the Tuesday publication date. There is a 15% camera-ready discount for pre-designed ads to size. Call 260-9770 for more information.

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CLASSIFIEDS U 9456 Phillips Highway n Jacksonville, FL 32256 Phone: (904) 260-9770 Fax: 260-9773 n

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Use This Form to Place Your Folio Weekly Eligibles Ad

| CATEGORY:

Women Seeking Men

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Men Seeking Women

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NOTE: Folio Weekly reserves the right to edit or reject advertising copy and to recatego­ rize advertising when appropriate. Please proof your ad immediately and notify us of errors. Folio Weekly will be responsible for only one incorrect insertion. Credit for errors will be given only when, in the sole opinion of the publisher, the practical content of the ad has been changed. The liability of Folio Weekly will be limited to the amount paid for the advertising only.

ELIGIBLES ADS are free for 4 weeks when using the Voice/Box. Didn’t find who you’re looking for? Resubmit your ad and we’ll run it for another 4 weeks.

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„ BY MAIL: Mailed responses are $2 (check or money order) each Label the resnonse fl envelopes with the eligible advertiser’s Voice/Box number Put these envelopes into | trereceived Pe addreSSed t0 Foll° Weekly' A" responses are mailed out the day the?

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■ mg the computer’s instructions. You will have tht nmin / and Passw°rd when followfl just heard, deleting the message, or going on to the nmrt m2 repea,!n9 the message you | tons; it’s pretty easy. The cost is $1.9% perminute and?ouSbe 1 Sor^Wer*116 “

CITY____

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I FOLIO WEEKLY ELIGIBLES It' Mail to: nACQ 9456 □kiilirte Phillips UllAf Hwy., Ql Suite 11 I Jacksonville, FL 32256 ■ Phone: /QfL4\ (904) 9P0-Q77n 260-9770 “ Fax: 260-9773

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FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

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Policies: Folio Weekly Eligibles ads are designed for people I seeking friendships or long-term relationships. „„ right to edit or reject ads that contain explicit sexual/anatomical language, or ads which solely seek sex. Folio Weekly assumes no responsibility for the content or reply to any Eligibles ad.

SPECIAL ADVICE: Do not leavp sovnalk,

u £? ,o,K”di’’9 “»d'»'«»•

TO PLACE YOUR CLASSIFIED AD CALL

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X^X durthw°eud: GOWN. TOs brand

FOR SALE

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101 ANTIQUES ANTIQUE SHOWCASE 8 ft. long. Great display for restaurant, jewelry collectibles. $780. Call Maureen, Designs by M Miller, 356-3024. (12/271 OLD FASHIONED QUAL­ ITY FOR TODAY'S LIFESTYLE. Our collec­ tion of antique furniture, collectibles, framed prints, distinctive lamps, accessories, florals and unique gifts changes weekly. Stop in today and find out how we’ve turned shopping into a pleasur­ able experience. We are very affordable too. Little Shoppe of Antiques and Gifts. 2010 Forbes St., Historic 5-Points, 3899900. Tuesday through Saturday, 11-5.

103 AIPPL5AMCES GAS STOVE; PORCE­ LAIN kitchen sinks with drain board. Best offers!

356-2736. (12/13)

■805 ART____________ FRAMES...FRAMES...FR AMESI Those looking for custom framing at low cost, with a large selection to choose from are discov­ ering the convenience of shopping at Mandarin Meadows, 11215 San Jose Boulevard or call 268-1477.

111 AUTOS/ trucks

D?<w;.s,ze candlelight, off the shoulder, floor length, contemporary 90vLn is 9orgeousl $275 or best offer. Call Susan, 260-0696. Leave message._________ CONSIGNMENT AT ITS b£ST! Ladies, men’s and children’s apparel.

Outstanding values.

Repeat Boutique, 1424 San Marco Blvd., 3982023. __________ MILLION DOLLAR LOOKS that won't cost a fortune!

Carousel Boutique- Upscale Retail/Resale. Nev/ jewel­ ry, accessories, ladies designer clothing, casual career and formal wear.

Largest new and con­ signed baby’s and chil­ dren’s department. New baby gifts, plush animals and accessories.

Merchants Walk, Mandarin. 268-0032.

■827 COCTOTERS 386SX-16 120 MEG hard drive, VGA CD-ROM color printer, great Christmas giftl $800. 645-9842.

(12/20)

133 FURNITURE/

FURNISHINGS QUEEN SIZE “COMFORTAIR" MATTRESS. Brand new. Independent air chambers, each side with electric air pump and con­ trols. Nationally adver­ tised at $900, asking $500. 241-2601, or evenings, 249-9888.

Automotive Expsesrts Non-Profit Consumer Information Senrice Recommended by Motor Trend Magazlne^/^)

ivldca dealer Invoice cost 24-hour touch tone hot-ilna provide^ ~~ (what tho dealer realty paid for tho car), essret rebate Information and ncgottelton strategies.

Lens,

$350.

Nikkor

218 COMPUTER SERVICES

LenS1 $150-

Nikkor 180mm F2.8 Lens, $500. Gossen Luna-Pro SBC light meter, $80. Call Walter for more informa­ tion at 260-9770, days, or (904) 829-1516, evenings and weekends.

Make your investment in your new personal computer pay off!

Starting your own business?

Learning the world of multimedia?

Accessing the Information Superhighwa/I Need help getting your software up and running?

Bateh, Bateh & Assoc., Inc. Custom Computer Applications, Designs, Training & Service offers expert hands-on help.

Call today for competitive rates for your individual or organization’s needs.

(904) 262-5156

201 ARTISTS

ART AND ANTIQUES APPRAISER since 1984.

Ted Weeks M.A., 3882267, _____________ CARTOONIST will design effective cartoons for advertisement. Great for small businesses. (904) 727-7352. (12/13) GRAPHIC DESIGN — Corporate logos. No com­ puters. Custom designs and illustrations. 7277352. (12/13)

205 EJE© & BREAK­ FAST BMNS______ BED & BREAKFAST ON AMELIA Island. The 1735 House Oceanfront B & B offers full suites, private bath, spectacular sunris­ es, breakfast in your suite and personalized service.

Try it, you’ll come back.

Reservations and information, 1-904-261-5878.

FLORIDA’S OLDEST sur­ viving hotel (est. 1857) in the heart of Fernandina's historic district. Brick fire­ places, claw foot tubs, jacuzzis. Pub with darts, full country breakfast.

Florida House Inn, P.O. Box 688, Amelia Island.

(904) 261-3300.________ OCEANFRONT COUN­ TRY INN. 1890s “Nantucket shingle style" house. Newspapers to your room, complimentary breakfast, library, wrap around porches. Elizabeth Point Lodge. P.O. Box 1210, Amelia Island. (904) 277-4851.

209 BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

BEAUTIFUL EXCITING PIANO MUSIC for any

215 CLEANING

5 A Cleaning 5t service that caters 7 to all your needs. v

Prices starting at $29.99 1 Senior citizens discounts offered I

6 Home/Office •Parties |C “Weddings 0 Construction | < •Move-in's/move-out's '

5 Prince 6 Cleaning § Service Jh

(904) 766-5522

For an appointment or information ,

?I.icensed. Bonded 1 217 CLUBS a ORGANIZATIONS kHavi Fun,

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Meet People^ & Help The Community!

Men and Women, 21-39 you’re Invited.„ Choose from ever 170 projects from Government involvement to Skydiving.

Join us at Crawdaddy’s the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month at 7 p.m.

Member’s sodal follows every meetingli Get involved in a Truly FUN Civic Organization...

occasion. Dinners, par­ ties, weddings, recep­ tions, bar mitzvahs, grand openings, etc. A variety of styles and tunes. Call Lee Turner, Pianist, 398-4429.

MUSCULAR MALE BODYBUILDER will dance/pose for you. For more information, call 739-6606. (12/13) 225 EVENTS THE FLORIDA JUNIOR COLLEGE chorale, under the direction of Donald Thompson, will present a reunion con­ cert at FCCJ Kent Campus auditorium on December 15, 1994 at 7:30 p.m. Anyone who sang in the chorale between 1969 and 1983 with Mr. Thompson is ‘invited to participate in this festive event. For more information, please contact Susan at 2687098 or Kevin at 3843578. (12/13)

227 FIINANCOAIL SERVICES

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Tfie Jacfconviffe Jayaes Call 399-JOIN TODAY ,

First minute free. S1.es on. add. mln.

Average call 6 minutes

Stop paying too much for your health insurance!

We have affordable Health Care packages available.

5 ALLIANCE ArraiDAMJi Hluw Cam

1992 MAZDA NAVAJO, 5 Spd., red, 2-wheel drive, the works. Like newl $14,500 or best offer. 2761912, leave message.

117 BICYCLES/ MOTORCYCLES

_

PRACTICALLY GIVING IT AWAY! Yakima roof rack package includes fairing, one bike mount, locks and locking cable.

Used only 8 months. $350, negotiable. Call Sue at 260-9770, 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m.

(12/20)________ _______ QUEEN SOFA BED AND LOVESEAT (neutral color): coffee table; two tables (oak/glass); din­ ingroom table (42 ) with six chairs; three-drawer beige wicker chest; enter­ tainment center; 20 Zenith color TV; small desk with stool. Best offer!

645-9600. (12/13)_______

Folio Weekly classified ads work!

Rent this space for as little as $27.50 a week!

904-797-1589

Call Debbie at 260-9770

.....

143 MUSBCAL

FOLIO WEEKLY ltxssifieds

INSTRUMENTS____

LOWERY ORGAN and bench. Two manuals, rhythm expressions. Used very little. Make offer. Cail

fey ireadlmg fifeos ado

Call today for information

PAULUS MUSIC uOMrnivi. y volume — .

PANY. M. Big dealer for 67 years and growing larger.

We are remodellarger. We are term ino' ingT Huge expansion sale

RETAIL FUDGE AND CHOCOLATE STORE for sale located in major j awu»vim„w___ r Jacksonville shopping center. Very Vwi j’ good «cod margins on an'products.

Qjns on a n nroduct All and retail equipmentt‘ a..J. Seller jnventory included, wiu trajn and and finance fir.

^^^25%^’

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S5o"1bM SelecWc $75; IBM vM“correction,'$275.

Peart drums. Large selecton of sheet I™src, boo^

32801^12/13)-------UPSCALE SAN MARCO

ArKnotnn Business Call Arlington Business Equipment. (904) 7433252. (12/20) _________

—, and instruction Tape 355-8447._________-------

CONS GNMENT bHur for sale as ongoing businass $8,000 or best Sfflr.' 398-6647, leave

125/CLOTHESZ

CAMERA EQUIPMENT FOR SALE: Nikon F3

120 BOOKS BACKROOM BOOKSive in Fans & Stoves at Five Points. (12/27) — 123 BUSINESS EQUIPMENT

JEWELRY

641-7223 or 641-8739.—

<ATphotograp•** hy

message._____________

vn ENTERTAINMENT

Sports Fanatics!

Get the latest Scores, Highlights & Sports Trivia 24 Hours A Day!

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231 HEALTH & FITNESS

Free Massages I For One Year! I Bring your body to me and free your soul. Health natu­ rally through mas­ sage and homeo­ pathic nutrition.

The effect is profound!

Christmas Si—;ial ___ Call Celeste for appt.

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RELAX! Relieve Your Stress With Therapeutic « Massage.

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Real Astrology FOR THE WEEK OF DEC 13 THRU DEC 19 BV

ROB

ARIES (MAR. 21-APR. 19): Three nights ago I dreamed you were a bird of par­ adise migrating north for the winter. The night before last I dreamed you found God in a vacant lot on the other side of the tracks. Last night I dreamed you were appearing in an episode of the “Twilight Zone." A gang of right- wing Christians was screaming that astrology was a tool >f the devil, and you were remind­ ing them that the Three Magi who visited the baby Jesus were astrologers.

What’s it all mean? My dreams seem to be predicting that this week you will have absolutely no need for “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excrutiatingly Correct Behavior.”

TAURUS (APR. 20-MAY 20): You're not a manic depressive.

Definitely not. No way. But I have to say that lately you've been flirting with the manic depressive style. That’s the bad news. The good news is this: A recent article in The New York Times notes that “the cognitive style of manic depression overlaps with the creative temperament” It seems that subjects in a mildly manic state “think more quickly, fluidly and origi­ nally," while when depressed they’re “self- critical and obsessive, an ideal frame of mind for revision and editing."

My conclusion? This would be prime time for you to make rapid progress on your masterpiece.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Of the five types of Gemini lovers, which one are you? 1) Quixotic . You folks are almost more in love with love itself than with your lovers. 2) Harlequin . Monogamy is OK only if your partner can provide as much vanety as a whole phalanx of para­ mours. 3) Cryptic. Can’t stay in love unless you constantly keep your partner guessing. 4) Player. Your specialties are having sex with friends and having friendly sex. 5) Histrionic. You don't feel fully alive unless you’re sweating and obsessed and all mixed up about love.

By my astrological reckoning, 82 percent of the Geminis reading these words are now entering a phase in which they'll take on the qualities of all five types of Gemini lovers.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): As the CIA has proved, keeping secrets tends to make you stupid. Under the toxic pres­ sure to hide and distort information, one’s brain becomes constipated. But more than that Recent studies show that peo­ ple with a predilection for concealment are more likely to suffer from fatigue, depression, anxiety and poor choices in lovers and kitchen decor. In light of all this, I ask you to consider spilling two of your secrets this week—not to just any old gossip addict of course, but to respectful listeners who have a stake in stoking your IQ.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): I apologize for not talking more about love lately. I just figured you had the romance department so completely wired that you didn’t need my two cents. Now I see that you were acting more together than you actually were. Fortunately, there’ll be a very happy ending— if you agree to relin­ quish your fake control and if you admit there’s a hell of a lot you have to leam about love.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): In Dr. Seuss’s book, “Horton Hatches an Egg," an elephant assumes the responsibility of sitting protectively on a bird's egg until it's ready to crack open. It’s an incongruous task, to be sure, but no more so than the delicate challenges you're faced with. If I were writing a children’s book about your life right now, I might portray you as tip­ toeing across the Grand Canyon on a tightrope while balancing on your head a

B R EZSNV plastic swimming pool full of dirt and a newly-sprouted magic beanstalk.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): I hope you weren’t waiting for me to offer you an astrological gift guide or something. As if an anti-consumer activist like myself is going to pander to anyone’s buyological urges! Ha! I will tell you, though, that the next ten days are an excellent time to give gifts for selfish reasons — especially if the gifts you give are heartfelt, highly original, and formulated to awaken the subliminal ambitions of the recipient

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): I have an idea about how to jiggle your financial imagination. (You do agree that you could use some creative new approach­ es to money, don't you?) My idea is to obtain eight different types of money you rarely or never see, and stash them on a prosperity altar in your bedroom. They could be Japanese yen, Mardi Gras dou­ bloons, Hell notes from Hong Kong, an ancient Greek coin imprinted with a dol­ phin or satyr, or even a whale tooth used as money in old Zaire. Every day you’ll commune with this attar, using it to light­ en up your relationship with money; to remember that making money is a game that can be quite fun; to reaffirm the fact that the almighty dollar is not God incar­ nate; and to conjure up dormant mojo that’ll mysteriously suck more money into your bank account

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): A few weeks ago, as the astrological month of Sagittarius began, a wonderful omen materialized. On that day, the video game “Donkey Kong Country,” starring a gorilla in relentless pursuit of bananas, was bom. With the most realistic graph­ ics ever for a 16-bit cartridge system, the game was expected to gross $100 mil­ lion in revenues during the holiday buy­ ing frenzy. So far, sales have exceeded projections. Hordes of consumers seem gung-ho to assist the Sagittarian gorilla in achieving its goals. It's no coincidence that your astrological portents for 1995 suggest a similar message. I predict you’ll receive unprecedented help in acquiring treats that have long been out of reach.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): Did you know that any car’s fuel system can be easily modified to run on waste grease culled from deep-fat fryers at fast­ food restaurants? Four women filmmak­ ers recently documented this hopeful fact during a cross-continent expedition. I bring this up because with a little ingenu­ ity, you could make a comparable break­ through this week. Leftovers, residues, dregs and slag could prove to be potent sources of energy for you. Scraps, debris, rags and husks could stoke the fire in your belly.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): I have no problem with Christmas decorations going up right after Halloween. As far as rm concerned, let’s put 'em up even ear­ lier. We need all lhe holiday time we can get, I heartily endorse the approach of midieval Europe, where as many as 105 days of the year were feast days. Why not designate the whole period between Halloween and New Year’s as one long celebration? Call it the Blithering Binge Festival. Or let’s decree that from now on every weekend starts on Thursday night at 6 and lasts till Monday at 10 am. Fm nominating you Aquarians to do some­ thing about this. You’ve always been pretty decent party animals, but begin­ ning now and lasting throughout 1995 you II be the premier partyers of the zodiac.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MAR. 20): You're now experiencing astrological conditions that've been linked in laboratory rats to dramatic escalations of self-esteem. To test lhe hypothesis that these experimen­ tal results with rats may be applicable to humans, I urge you to see what happens if you act like a charismatic powertnpper this week. Well, let me amend that. Of course I mean you should do this with a Piscean twist See what happens if you act like a gentle, sensitive, lyrical. charismatic powertripper.

You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night night for for your your

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904-448-8026. (MM5273) (12/13)_________ STOP SMOKING, $40.

Private sessions, normal­ ly only one visit required.

Weight control and other lifestyle changes, $25 to $40. Reduced rates for groups. Variety of selfimprovement audio tapes available. Certified professional hypnotist. Call 264-2638.-------------------233 INSTRUCTION

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pastel, $30 each/2 hour session. Portrait instruc­ tion. Original art for sale.

Christmas gift certificates available. Ken Moore Studio. 399-8433. (12/20)

LEAVE IT TO ME — Organizing: closets, draw­ ers, garages, etc. Give yourself a deserved break. Call Mary for esti­ mate, 646-3701. Great gift ideall (12/13)_______

234 LEGAL

Not all legal temporary agencies are created equal...

Legal-To-Legal, Inc. outweights them all!

Specialized employment agency for Legal People.

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240 MODELS WAMTED___________ PROFESSIONAL PHO­ TOGRAPHIC ARTIST looking for the right woman to photograph in the studio and also in out­ door settings. This is not a commercial endeavors, but an effort to create original................... images. My , rportfolio of past work is available. 399-3240. (12/13)

398-8663 3107 Spring Glen Rd. #205 Jacksonville, Fl 32207

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Let our 74,000 readers know!

Rent this space for as little as $17.50 a week.

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FOLIO WEEKLY

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For additional times and info. call: Zenrin at 721-1050 ==J COME TRY THIS simple system of meditation from India. No fee charged.

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Prepare yourself for (MCS/ life’s little surprises.

Find out more about your soul type and life landscapes. $19 intro­ ductory offer (reports average 30+ pages).

Call Astral Studies today!

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254 RESUMES

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Latest formats and tech­ niques. Call Catherine (904) 471-0337. (12/20)

303 PART TIME EMPLOYMENT

260 TRAVEL

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Honeymoon in Hawaii!

Vacation In Vegas! • Oasis in Orlando!

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Dec. 30 - Jan. 2 from $259 per person Only 3 Cabins Left!

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This is a volunteer service. No charge to call.

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249 VIDEO DUPLICATIONS: U.S.A, and overseas.

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Divorce (from $30) Bankruptcy (from $100) power of attorney, wills, living wills, child support, step-parent adoption, income taxes and many other legal documents prepared, (notary available)

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OR1 WEDDINGS _ QUALITY WEDDING INVITATIONS and person­ al attention in your selec­ tion of announcements, informals and other wed­ ding papers. Wonderful bridal books and other accessories. Shower and party invites, tool Things Very Special, 5806 St. *--— Rd. Open Augustine through Tuesday Saturday. 733-4820.

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I New company expanding locally seeks three sports-minded leaders with aggressive attitudes and a desire to win.

Top money for top producers!

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art director with a good eye for style and ability to manage a staff of three producing 48 to 80 tabloid pages. We offer attractive compensation, benefits and a creative working environment. So...send cover letter and resume to: Sam Taylor, Publisher, Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Highway. Ste. 11, JacksonvilFe, FL 32256.

FOLIO WEEKLY is look­ ing for an enthusiastic, self-motivated college grad to join our staff as a sales representative. We offer extensive training in media sales which pro­ vides great opportunity tor you to grow personally and professionally.

Attractive commission structure and benefits.

Send a cover letter and resume to: T. Farrar Martin, Folio Weeklv 9456 Phillips Hwy., Ste 32256JaOkSOnV'lle’ Fl" STYLISTS NEEDED Work with a team of car­ ing professionals. Two years experience neces­ sary Commission and benefits. 733-8495.11/1 hi

Esraesso Coffee Co. is now accepting applications > c . for full or ? < 2 part-time , _ posltions^^Mfc^y Call 356-2780. Ask for Lisa.

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Ludowici-style pan arid cap clay tiles in great condition. Approx. 2500 tiles, off the roof and ready to load onto your truck. New tiles run about $6 each. Make me an offer for the whole lot.

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TO HEAR AN ELIGIBLES OR LEAVE A MESSAGE

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642-5572. (12/13) RIVERSIDE, 3 bedroom 603 APARTMENTS spacious home. Share UNFURNISHED, with non-smoking profesRIVERSIDE, -------- , 1-- bedroom, ------------------ sional, $400 includes utiliredone hardwood floors, ties, phone and cable new paint, 2 ACs, 3 ceil- 384-0064. (12/13) ing fans. Credit refer­ SAN MARCO. Let's take ences required. care of each other. Stable $245/month, $225 white male with house deposit. 2167 Myra St., seeks girlfriend/compan354-4086, 389-8768. ion roommate.

(12/20) _______ $175/month, 868-9561.

(12/13) __________ RIVERSIDE, 2 bedroom, redone hardwood floors, SAN MARCO. One bed­ new paint, 2 ACs, 4 ceil­ room, central heat and ing fans. $350/month, air. $335/month. 396$225 deposit. Credit ref­ 7236. (12/27) _________ erences required. 2167 WANTED: SINGLE Myra St., 354-4086, 389WHITE FEMALE to rent 8768. (12/20)__________ nice, large bedroom in private Beaches home.

607 HOUSES FOR Kitchen, washer/dryer REMIT_______________

LOVELY COTTAGE for one person. One bed­ room loft, hardwood floors, newly renovated, fenced yard, gas and water furnished. $390/month + deposit. No pets. 356-2736. (12/13)

613 ROOMMATES ATLANTIC BEACH. Two bedroom townhouse.

Female seeking single, non-smoking male or female. $300/month plus utilities. 249-0566. (12/20) MATURE FEMALE seeks non-smoking, clean female roommate to share 2 bedroom/2 bath

Christmas cans packed fresh daily.

Komtaj^s Outrajus Regency Crt Shopping Center Arlington Expressway

725-0986

privileged, cable provid­ ed. Prefer clean, neat, non-smoker, no drugs.

Utilities included. $300 rent, $150 deposit. 2490844, after7p'm. (12/20) WESTSIDE. Roommate to share 3 bedroom/1 bath house. Non-smoker preferred. Fully furnished. $375/month. Call Althea at 389-8860, leave messaqe. (12/13)__________

©•27 VACATBOH RENTALS__________ ALMOST HEAVEN chalet near Blowing Rock, ski resorts. Breathtaking viewl $400/week, $240/3 nights. Photos, informa­ tion: (904) 825-0903.

(12/13) ___________ AMELIA ISLAND RENTALS. Furnished oceanfront rentals on the

---- ...

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HIP, HAPPENING PEO­ PLE LIKE LOIS will tell you that the best place for a date is Johnny Rockets in the Jacksonville Landing. See, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so, order up a couple of Original Hamburgers with Chili

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FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

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ROB BREZSNY'S EXPANDED HOROSCOPE LINE

HOWTO RESPOND TO AN ELIGIBLES AD 1) Call 1-9DO-77-FOLIO ($1.95 a minute/18+) and either browse through current ads or respond to a specific ad using the advertiser’s Voice/Box number or 2) Send a written response for $2 each. Put your letter (to the Eligible advertiser) in an envelope with that advertiser’s Voice/Box number written on the outside. (No return address is needed. Be sure to write your phone number or address in your letter, so the person you’re responding to can contact you.) Enclose all responses and check or money order in another envelope addressed to: The Eligibles, c/o Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Hwy., Suite 11, Jacksonville, FL 32256.

Any questions? Call Debbie at 260-9770, Monday-Friday 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m.

Ad of the Week: Man Seeking Woman FLOWERS, WINE, WALKS AND CANOES are fine for romance, but try jet skis, small planes, roller-coasters and diving for passion.

This attractive, 5’8”, white male, (non-smoker/drugs) wants both and wants to share new experiences with a fit, 29-37, female of moral fiber. Send phone and note so that we may explore the possibili­ ties. Voice/Box 51398 (1/10)_______________ ELIGIBLES: Get cre­ ative! If your ad is cho­ sen as ad of the week you will receive two com­ plimentary tickets to the Comedy Zonel!________

Q/l^O/722/2

Seeking

ANNOUNCING

FREE

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You'll receive a box number and a pass­ word to access our 800#. With this number a FREE outgoing mes­ sage can be recorded by you. To check your messages call the 900# for $1.95 a minute (18+). Mail or fax (2609773) In order blank or give us a call at 2609770, Monday-Friday, 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m.to place your ad. See order blank for details.

DEAR SANTA — I want a special, handsome, over 35, secure, passion­ ate guy to laugh, play, dance, go to New Year's Eve party, beach, watch

sunrises, hug, cuddle and CRUISE with (com­ pany trip, all expenses paid). I’m classy, sexy, petite, adventurous, pret­ ty and tons of fun. Send him soon, tell him to write and be sure he sends a photo! Voice/Box 10993 (12/27)______________ DYNAMIC 39 YEAROLD female M.D., Jewish, aerobically fit and thin, starry-eyed ide­ alist, passion for life and love. Enjoys philosophy, dancing, music, explor­ ing. Seeking masculine counterpart.

Please write! Voice/Box 10957 (1/10)_______________ ATHLETIC, TALL, ATTRACTIVE, profes­ sional white female, 39, likes oldies, sports, sun (and moon), in search of intelligent, selective white male who is fit, funny, sensual and serious about a meaningful rela­ tionship. Descriptive let­ ter and photo requested.

Voice/Box 10994 (1/10) ATTRACTIVE, WHITE, PETITE Christian woman seeking white attractive Christian, 45-50. Non­ smoke r/n on-drinker.

Enthusiastic, outgoing and financially secure.

Lasting relationship pos­ sibility. Voice/Box 10995 (1/10) _________ SINGLE WHITE FEMALE, mid-twenties, blonde, blue-eyed, enjoys sports, walks on the beach, movies and good times with friends.

Tired of singles scene.

Seeks male, 25-35, with similar interests.

Letters/photo. Voice/Box 10996(1/10) _________ SINGLE WHITE FEMALE seeking a gen­ tleman, 57-63. I’m a high-moral lady who doesn’t smoke or drink but isn’t prudish. I’m blonde, blue-green eyes, 5’7", 148 lbs, very viva­ cious, attractive, ener­ getic, love to dance, trav­ el, dine in and out. All kinds of activities. I’m a very young-looking and acting 60-year-old. Even my children can’t keep up with me! I’m financial­ ly secure and I do want a companion who doesn't smoke (social drinking OK), either retired or has a good job. I need no financial help. I do love life immensely. Letters preferred. Voice/Box 10999(1/10)_________ PETITE, FIT. ATTRAC­ TIVE, degreed profes­ sional white female, 29, seeking handsome, fit, affectionate, degreed professional white male, 25-39, (non-smoker) who enjoys movies, dining, water sports and staying fit. Letters and photos preferred. Voice/Box 11000(1/10) _______ TALL, RUBENESQUE, 31-year-old, non-smok­ ing white female, loves reading, sailboat racing/cruising, movies, outdoors and travel.

Seeks companionship with a tall, single, non­ smoking white male (3038) who has a Seinfeld sense of humor, is able to give and receive affec­ tion freely, and isn’t addicted to the bar scene. Letters preferred, but phone calls welcome.

Voice/Box 11001 (1/10) CUTE, PETITE. 43, no dependents, divorced white female, 118 lbs., non-smoker, enjoys R&B, action movies,

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13, 1994

wine, candlelight. Seeks her cute, stable, fun-lov­ ing, Romantic guy for lasting match.

Letter/photo. Voice/Box 10987(12/27)_________ AM I YOUR ANGEL BABY? Sporty, compact Kelly McGillis look-alike (“Top Gun"), blonde curls, blue eyes, 5’4", 125 lbs., 35, divorced white female, sparkling personality, scintillating wit, needs a sweet, sexy guy to take jogging on the beach, holiday par­ ties, cycling, dancing, golf, tennis, theatre, pic­ nics, travel, long relation­ ship possible. Hope you are 27-50, close to 5’11", normal weight, divorced white male professionally employed. Extra points for long dark hair.

Voice/Box 10988. (12/27) ATTRACTIVE, HONEST LADY with sense of humor seeks gentleman of same qualities. I am 37, 5'2", 120 lbs., and enjoy good conversation, dancing, movies, hiking and amusement parks.

Voice/Box 10989 (12/27) ATTRACTIVE BLONDE, 31, 5’10", professional seeks white male (2839), who is fun-loving, attentive, adventurous and open-minded for friendship and possible long-term relationship.

Letter and photo please.

Voice/Box 10990 (12/27) WHITE CHRISTIAN LADY, 45, attractive, mature, spirit-filled, with a B.A. in C.E. and study­ ing for an M.A. in Christian counseling. I’m 5’5”, intelligent, caring, affectionate, fun-loving, non-smoker, non-drinker who’s seeking a similar 45-50 year-old Christian gentleman who’s attrac­ tive, loves the Lord, fami­ ly and church, a nonsmoker, non-drinker, is caring, educated, humor­ ous, dependable, stable and financially secure.

Serious, also, but not into head-games. You and I, both, are looking for companionship and pos­ sible marriage.

Voice/Box 10991 (12/27) PAGAN AQUARIAN with great Virgo personality! If in need of an eccentric friend, you should be witty, intelligent, philo­ sophical, spiritual. Closeminded need not apply!!!

Voice/Box 10992 (12/27) PURRFECT MATCH. Tiny, cute, red kitten.

Hunt for sport (golf, ten­ nis, dancing). Judged “Best of Show." Finicky.

Search for endangered, sleek, professional male panther — no manatees (39-52). Be humane — get me out of this single society!!

Voice/Box 10976 (12/13) ______ ATTRACTIVE EURO­ PEAN single white female, 50-ish, educated, caring, lonely, likes movies, reading, dining with good wine, fire­ places. Seeks humorous fun guy, stable white male, who is ready for a relationship. Letters pre­ ferred. Voice/Box 10924 (12/20) _________ HELPI LIBERAL DROWNING in Jaxl Single white female: pro­ portionate, red-head, professional seeking alternative single white male, 25-30, with bent sense of humor. Must have brain and know how to use it. Voice/Box

10979 (12/20)_________ FOR ROMANCE, LOVE, mutual worship and understanding, beautiful­ ly packaged and choco­ late sweet, pick up that phone and reach out if you’re a slngle/divorced white male, 35-45, with character, charisma and creativity. Let’s discover the paradise we are meant for. Voice/Box 10980(12/20)_________ SUGAR DADDY — Where are you?

Divorced white female, 44, 5’9", 200 lbs. I’m lonely, want fun, Romance, companion­ ship, morel Like nice things, walks, rides, con­ certs, swimming, etc.

Voice/Box 10981 (12/20)

opera to NASCAR. Seriously seeking a sen­ sitive, fun-loving, sincere, single white male to make me laugh from 3858, who’s clean, lean but not mean. Voice/Box 10986 (12/20)_________ IF YOU DON’T HAVE PLANS for the Holidays, spend them with me.

Pretty, slender, 5’6", blue-eyed blonde, 43, looking for handsome, successful gentleman for Holiday romance (and beyond?) Non-smoker.

Voice/Box 10972 (12/13) WELCOME TO MY WORLD. It’s the world of a divorced, black, profes­ sional 36-year-old female. It’s a world of jazz; it’s a world of fun.

Just Find theperfect partner today with the eligibles browse feature,

1. Women Seeking Men 2. Men Seeking Women If the introduction doesn't appeal to you press 3 to interrupt and forward to the next one.

$1.95 per minute ° Must be IS years of age.

FOLIO WEEKLY STARTING OVER isn’t always easy. Very spe­ cial, real person looking for same. Not into game playing. Maturity, wisdom and sense of humor greatly appreciated. You are ready to share your life in a loving, lasting relationship. You are 4060, 5’10”+, not over­ weight, health conscious, non-smoker, educated, positive outlook. I am a divorced white female, very pretty, 42, 5’6", 125 lbs., blue eyes, welladjusted, fun-loving, intelligent, considerate, selective, varied inter­ ests. Note preferred.

Voice/Box 10982 (12/20) HO HO HO we want to know, if there are two who want to do dating for the Holidays. Two pro­ fessional women inter­ ested in two professional men, forty-ish and fun­ loving. Voice/Box 10983 (12/20) _________ LOYAL, ATTRACTIVE seeking same. Divorced white female, 5’4", physi­ cally fit, dark hair, nonsmoker, seeking profes­ sional male, 45-55, car­ ing, loyal, looking to have a good friend first with a possible long-term rela­ tionship.

Voice/Box 10984(12/20) _______ LIFE IS WONDERFULI There’s so much to see, do and to be appreciat­ ed. There's just one thing missing, a special person to share it with. I’m 32, educated, easygoing, athletic (run, bike, etcj, loving, and very lovable.

Letters preferred.

Voice/Box 10985 (12/20) LOOKING FOR SPARKS. Divorced white female, 5’7", 135 lbs., brown hair and eyes.

Variety of interests from

1-900-288-9020

It's a world of honest emotion and no games.

It’s an affectionate world of love and romance. It’s the world of a busy, selfsufficient woman who has just enough room for you. A strong, intelligent black male, age 38-50, who would like to become a part of my

world. If this space is for you, please write me soon.

I'm waiting.

Voice/Box 10973 (12/13) SOS! Divorced white female, non-smoker, needs TLC ASAPI FYI: MAE, No PMS. Hazel eves, brown hair, 5’5", 125 lbs., want AWOL from BS. 35-50. ESP a plus, no UFOs, HIVs or DUIs. BYOB. SWAK. RSVP. Voice/Box 10974 (12/13) ZAFTIG, ECLECTIC, ECCENTRIC, 40s, white female, professional, non-smoker, non-drinker.

Looking for a play­ mate...sailing, diving, camping, dining, danc­ ing, theatre and travel.

Kids/grandkids welcome.

Letters preferred. All replies will be answered.

Sense of humor a mustll Voice/Box 10975 (12/13) “AIN’T WOMAN IN RED, ain’t girl next door.

Somewhere in the mid­ dle. Is that what you’re looking for?" Large, fit, educated, independent, Southern woman.

Passionate about life.

Eclectic taste, NASCAR, symphony, art, Thomas Merton, Cosmo, Zen. Desires 40+ gentleman who knows how to work hard and play hard.

Serious sailor a plus.

Voice/Box 10977 (12/13) ATTRACTIVE, BLONDE, blue-eyed professional, thlrty-ish. Very energetic, athletic, non-smoker, enjoys the beach, boat­ ing, most water sports, dining out and interesting conversation, seeking someone 35-45 with sim­ ilar interests. Voice/Box 10789 (12/13)_________ BUBBA-WEARY creative professional seeks bricjht, funny, romantic white male with cultural bent. I'm slim, 39, white, no kids, enjoy art, music, good food. Willing to travel to find it. Prefer witty letters. Voice/Box 10954 (12/27) ______ WIDOW, EUROPEAN-

BORN, non-smoker, homeowner, debt-free, slim, healthy, happy, enjoys life and keeping fit, seeks honest, sincere gentleman. Friends first.

Companion, love and respect. 55-70. Letters preferred. Voice/Box 10941 (12/20)_________ A QUICK SMILE and a vivid imagination are the first things you may notice. Then you’ll dis­ cover my upbringing in New England led to a Master’s Degree and recently a change of scene to Florida. If you think pizza makes a great first date and you are 28-45, like music, movies and a little magic, let’s get together in November. Send letter and photo. Voice/Box 10927 (12/13)_________ DID YOU REEL IN YOUR SWEETIE while fishing through the Eligibles ads? If so, drop us a line... we like to hear about it. Send to: Eligibles, c/o Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Hwy., Suite 11, Jacksonville, Fla., 32256.

announcing

FREE Eligibles Ads. December special! All Eligibles ads are free for 4 weeks when you us© our Eligibles Voice Mall system. You’ll receive a box number and password to access our 800#. With this number a FREE outgoing message can be recorded by you. To check your messages call the 900# for $1.95 a

minute (18+). Mail or fax (260-9773) in order blank or give us a call at 260-9770, Monday-Friday, 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m., to place your ad. See order blank for details.

LYNDA, life imitated art at Ocean Palace with that Saturday afternoon lunch. But, I gave you back your number with your photo! Please con­ tact me. Voice/Box 51256(12/27)_________ CELTIC MALE (nonsmoker) has the ingredi­ ents for a long-lasting relationship but needs help with the recipe. If you are under 40, con­ sider yourself intelligent, attractive and fit, can you help me use these ingre­ dients? Passport, integri­ ty, symphony tickets, children’s laughter, moon light, honesty, rainy days, mountain cabin, beach bikes and jazz. Send your picture and recipe to Voice/Box 51377 (12/20) ACCESSIBLE AND ATTENTIVE single white businessman, 42, seeks adventurous, spirited, independent, unencum­ bered, single/divorced white female, 32-37, drug-free, fit and stable, ready for harmony in a lasting relationship.

Letters only. Voice/Box 51382 (12/27)_________ SEEKER SEEKING SEEKEE. Hopeful Romantic seeking that special divorced/single white female. Me the seeker: Divorced white male, young 42, nonsmoker, in shape, nicelooking, stable, honest, caring, faithful, trustwor­ thy, sense of humor, likes the beach, exercis­ ing, comedy, writing, exploring...You the seek­ er: 28-42, non-smoker, attractive, traits similar to me the seeker. Seek and you shall find. Voice/Box 51383(12/27)_________ WOMEN FRIENDS SAY I’m a great guy who

by TOM TOMORROW 50 SIFF...REPUBLICANS WANT To CON- h SnTuTlONALLY MANDATE SCHOOL LPRAYER...

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deserves a nice girl. I’m white with brown fur. Ice an attractive single white blue eyes, 5’9”, fit, edu­ 51391 V°ICa/BoX plus. Voice/Box 51371 music, gangster and pany, If most of these slender build, dark hair, male, 29, non-smoker, ing, dancing, feelings, cated. non-smoker, loves (12/20) ________ mafia movies. words fit, please write me smoker and social drinker conversation, Jeopardy. social drinker, degreed, IF YOU DON’T NEED a family and fun, also a Note/photo/message. and tell me about you so with interest in cooking, Letter preferred. financially-secure profes­ FUN-LOVING, honest, cjood listener. He Is seek­ man for identity, for Voice/Box 51379 (12/20) we can enjoy the holi ­ Voice/Box 51347 (12/27) 39-year-old professional sional. I’m 5’8" with a fit movies, candlelight din­ esteem, for your bills, for ing a fit, non-smoker, days together. Photos ad ners, shooting pool and SINGLE WHITE JEWISH with a sense of humor, build that stays slender ROMANTIC, AFFEC­ what you wear or drive, excitement! Voice/Box discovering new wines white female Velveteen MALE, 37, has the gold­ non-smoker, social TIONATE gentleman, 64, from regular bicycling, please call me, you’re 51359 (12/13)_______ Letters and photos preen slipper for his drinker. Likes to enjoy the seeks single, 35-45-yearseeks same in gentle lady tennis (novice player) and definitely my type of lady, (12/20)Voice/Box 51316 princess. Must enjoy din­ YOU “KNOW THYSELF," old woman with a good Arts, theatre and movies for monogamous relation­ dancing.

A gentle 44, non-smoker, in ing, sports and travel. like yourself, and have a sense of humor and a with attractive lady who ship.

If you want to be Romantic, I love good shape, attractive.

Photo and phone num­ sense of humor about love of life. Send note shares my interests and SEARCHING FOR A treated the way a lady conversation and know Voice/Box 51392 (1/10) ber, please. Voice/Box life. You want more than and photo and maybe our values.

Voice/Box 51372 should, with love, tender ­ QUALITY friend and pos ­ how to communicate.

51380 (12/20)_________ your present situation, first date will be lunch at ARE YOU READY for (12/20) _________ ness and respect, please sible relationship outside Also, I'm not originally without giving up what my restaurant at the some fun?

Successful respond.

Letter please.

JOYCE, WE MET (sort the bar scene?

MEDITERRANEAN from the South. I’m seek­ you have. White male, beach. Send letter and businessman, non-smok­ Voice/Box 51337 (12/20) of) at Barnes & Noble on VACATION ANYONE? Handsome, single (no ing an intelligent, kind, 38, fit, fun. Voice/Box photo. Voice/Box 51314 er, 43, white male, physiSaturday, November 19.

Active, attractive and dependents), 33, 5'11" ROMANTIC WHITE physically fit, 51369 (12/13) ______ (12/13) _________ MALE, 60s, 6’1", 165 lbs., single/divorced female, A SELECTIVE, CLASSY DIVORCED AND FIT retired marine engineer, 21-35, to share good con­ lady is needed for part- white male, 41, 5'8”, salt financially secure, no versations and likes sim­ nership. She is 35-45, and pepper hair and mus­ independents, seeks ple adventures. Friends ■ non-smoker, slender and tache, non-smoker, seeks attractive white lady first, possible relation­ above average in many attractive, fit and sensual under 60, slender or nor­ ship. Call or write. , ways. Ready for stable non-smoker, 30-45, for mal, to be my friend, Voice/Box 51384 (12/27) JPERSORJAIL, CAEIL WRITTEN RESPONSES I quality man to complete friendship, love and relalover, and companion and her life. We do lace and tionship. w-t—Voice/Box m— GOLFER LOOKING to inherit my estate.

You may also respond to an Eligible Call 1-900-77-FOLIO from a touchtone jeans, but no bowling or 51343 (12/27)_______ “FORE" PLAY with the Voice/Box 51214 (12/20) flea market.

Photo helps. right partner. If you are a advertiser through the mail. Put the phone. A recorded message will give GIVER SEEKS TAKER. DID YOU REEL IN YOUR Voice/Box 51361 (12/13) 35-45 attractive, fit, ener­ Object: Ecstasy.

SWEETIE while fishing advertiser’s Box # on the inside you instructions for listening and getic, non-smoker, affec­ SPICE EVERY- Successful, 40-some-- AND ------ ---------through the Eligibles ads? envelope. Enclose the letler(s) and $2 TUI NCI Ninp responding to the ad of your choice. tionate white female with THING NICE, that that’’es uuhof what thlnn thing, hccHer handsome profesIf so, drop us a line... we a good sense of humor II'm ’m looking for. 5'6", sin- sional seeking trim, 35+, for each response in another envelope Use the Eligible advertiser’s Voice/Box like to hear about it. Send gle female, perfect size -----— * — •and similar interests we intelligent partner to to: Eligibles, c/o Folio addressed to: The Eligibles, Folio Weekly # when responding to a specific ad. It’s and weight, long hair, share M&Ms, Letterman, may be a good match for Weekly, 9456 Phillips 9456 Phillips Highway, Suite 11, $1.95 per minute and you must be 18 sexy eyes and smile, touching, travel, movies, romance and possible Hwy., Suite 11, Believes in sensuality romance, Seinfeld, cooklong-term relationship.

Jacksonville, Fla., 32256.

Jacksonville, FL 32256 or over. and wants to be treated I'm a white male, degreed that way, 25-35. I'm a professional, attractive, simple man of 36, tall, fit, honest, 46 (who looks blue-eyed with great much younger), 6', 175 You with your girlfriend, callv fit, romantic, living healthy retired white build. I’m not a couch lbs., non-smoker and athletic (tennis), college me with my nine-year-old on the river, looking for a male, 5'7 ” , 145 lbs., nonpotato. No kids. Needs financially secure who in graduate (UF), nonson, all looking rather playmate. I enjoy sailing, smoker, social drinker, friendship, companion­ addition to golf, enjoys smoker and professional foolish as we struggled to boating, island hopping, seeks personable, flabship, relationship. All snowskiing, scuba diving, gentleman with blonde find hidden pictures. I got weekend trips, snow ski­ free, outgoing female responses answered. dancing and movies. hair and blue eyes seeks distracted with children's ing, movies, romantic din ­ (any age or ethnic origin) Note and photos accept­ Note and photo preferred. an attractive, fun, profes­ books for my son and, ners, hot tubs, fireplaces, to accompany him on ed. Voice/Box 51362 Voice/Box 51385 (12/27) sional Southern belle, 24before I could introduce willing to try anything expense-paid two-week (12/13)______________ 34, with a good attitude, NEVER AGING white myself, you disappeared. once. If you are 25-40, trip to the Mediterranean WHITE MALE, 41. attrac­ values and sense of professional single male, Call. Let's meet there like to socialize, dress in February.

Long-term tive, Virgo, non-smoker, humor. Phone, photo non-smoker, social again for coffee, just the like and be a lady in pub­ relationship possible. non-drinker, God first, appreciated. Voice/Box drinker with a very active two of us this time. lic and a sexy playmate In Letters preferred. intelligent, expressive, 51313(12/13)_________ and healthy lifestyle. 6', Maybe we’ll find that pic­ private, I will treat you to Voice/Box 51373 (12/20) idealist, spiritual, artistic, 190 lbs., blue eyes, of SINGLE WHITE CHRIS­ ture. Voice/Box 51381 the finer things that life DO IT. White male wants creative, musician, witty, Viking descent, wants (12/20) _______ TIAN male, Southern has to offer and spoil you It, needs it, loves it, helping others, like kids. female companion for Baptist, 42, 5’10”, 140 rotten. Letter and photo DEMOGRAPHERS ARE deserves it and is good at Seeks attractive, spirited, life’s better things to lbs., brown hair, hazel appreciated. Voice/Box PERPLEXED: Where it. Seeking attractive dis­ slim, single female with enjoy together. Healthy eyes, athletic, BS in 51393(1/10)_________ have all the 25-40, attrac­ creet white female who is similar interests. body and mind, positive Sociology, selftive, intelligent, single APRIL OF ST. AUGUS­ ready for it. Think about Voice/Box 51363 (12/13) attitude a must. No employed, likes witness­ women gone? Study TINE, why haven’t you it.

Call or write.

Voice/Box EARLY 50s, fit and trim, Grandma type. Around ing and church and nat­ being conducted by sin­ called? I spoke to Jen 51374 (12/20)________ non-smoker, degreed 50, attractive and just a ural foods. Letters pre­ Each month over 110,000 gle white male with and she believes we ADVENTURE SEEKING, professional, 6’1 , 180 little bit above average. ferred. Voice/Box 51221 intense personal Interest. have some common attractive middle-aged lbs., very good looking, Letter and picture please.

(12/20) __________ readers choose to read Written data only, please. ground. I can’t find Jen’s white male seeks rela ­ stable — emotionally and Volce/Box 51386 (12/27) Voice/Box 51356 (12/13) YOU WANT A SERIOUS phone number so you’ll tionship and companion financially, sincere with a Folio Weekly classifieds. have to call. Life is pas­ for thrill-seeking night RELATIONSHIP. You SERIOUS AND SENSU­ A BREATH OF FRESH sense of humor. If you AL, 40-ish, divorced white don’t smoke or have sion — if you have a zest AIR. Honest, positive, lib­ are early 30s to mid 40s, activities at the beach. dependents. You thrive for life, like myself, then professional male, attrac­ eral and spiritual single Tall blondes or redheads attractive figure and good we’ll get together. on physical affection and tive, secure, well-built, white male, looking for preferred by this ven/ dis­ looking, call or write if Voice/Box 51394 (1/10) attention. You are not Forty-nine Percent Men... seeks proportionate, dependable, adventur­ interested. Voice/Box creet professional writer afraid to commit yourself attractive, 30-ish divorced ous, generous, good ATTENTION!! I am a 51364 (12/13)_________ and future talk radio host.

The Rest Women. with a full heart. You communicator. Voice/Box white professional female white Jewish male, 32 Voice/Box 51375 (12/20) GUITAR-PLAYING nurs­ have the necessary free 51357(1/10)_________ who is confident that no years old. I like dining, DEGREED ENTREPRE­ ing student seeks lady, One Fourth Are Single. time. This man in his one is aware of the secret traveling and biking. I’m DANCE, DANCE, 40-53 to nurse back to NEUR who works hard early 30s can offer you desires lurking behind in search1 Y of1 “ a wonderful, DANCE, 6’2", solid white romantic health. Looks v*y"uo,,“'» but also knows how to About One Third Plan To Buy A Car This Year. stability, good looks, quiet, sophisticated exte­ outgoing Jewish female male, looking for an and figure unimportant. haVe fun Divorced white intelligent conversation, for friendship/relationship. rior. We share interests in attractive, independent, ?•••?•-’’---J-"? •,?. male, 44, 5’6", muscular The beauty that radiates Over 40,000 On A Diet? Hmmm. monogamy, loyalty, No smokir - no drugs.

1 ’Is “ people, privacy, good white female, 33-38, fit ing, build, non-smoker, who from within is what I'm romance. All you have to this you? I------ r._ and in control, kids OK. food, varieties of music, looking for. Letters pre­ enjoys flying, scuba div­ One In Ten Is A CEO or Own Their Business. do is call Folio’s voice Voice/Box 51395 (1/10) Let’s dance and walk on novels, beaches, humor ferred.

All replies ing in the Islands, restorsysiwni, enter my the beach. Letter and and hedonistic weekend system, answered. Voice/Box WIDOWER-RETIRED, ing houses and barbeThey Enjoy Living Here. voice/box number and photo please. Voice/Box getaways. Call or write.

51365 (12/13)_________ 66-years-old, 6’, 180 lbs. cues seeking honest, 51358(12/13)_______ _ you’ll get my phone num­ Photo appreciated.

Looking for someone to attractive, -------------intelligent, ATTRACTIVE WHITE One In Five Plans To Buy A New Home. ber. Letters accepted. affectionate lady who Voice/Box 51387 (12/27) I AM ENERGETIC, POS­ share some quality time MALE, divorced, secure, Voice/Box 51304 (1/10) _ lives a casual lifestyle, ITIVE, enjoy doing most with. Letters and photos young 40s, no depen­ More Than A Fourth Plan To Remodel.

SINGLE WHITE PRO­ everything! Home pro­ loves to laugh and enjoy preferred. Voice/Box _______ MALE, HIGHLY dents, very open-minded, FESSIONAL 37, SELECTIVE, a glass of wine in the hot jects, yard work, conver­ seeks sexy, totally unin­ 51396(1/10)_______ ___ 170_ lbs.,fiopks seeks_sinsin- handsome, humorous, Politically Active.

5’11n’”, 17AIKQ tub.

Voice/Box 51376 sational walks, quiet days hibited lady. I enjoy boat­ vhite femaleto share 45-year-old, divorced ENERGETIC DIVORCED at home around the pool, _„ol>, vcan „,_­ (12/20)______________ ----------whjte white male, i Christian ing, travel, uoal beaches, Almost A Third Are Shopping For Furniture. ^dinners, walks, movies, white male, 60 (feel like weekend adventures outdielight and more. Let's AVAILABLE WHITE aouiur, seeks highly 30), 160 lbs., 5’11". nontheatre and who enjoys doctor, of-town, jazz, art, movies, ■ Voice/Box • — meet.

51366 11IW„ all ______ MALE, 38, would like Playing Golf Is Big. attractive, gentle, affec­ smoker, likes outdoor tennis, biking or running attrnctn reading, theatre, con ­ (12/13) _________ someone to appreciate. If tionate woman wno activities — beach walks, Voice/Box 51388 (12/27) certs, exercise, working, Concerts, Dining Out and Recreational Sports Keep 'Em Busys. fishing, etc., I a simple walk with some ­ doesn’t stay up late and NAKED NOMAD, 39, tall, bike rides, family gatherings, watch­ SINGLE WHITE PRO­ one whom can listen is who normally would not professional, very selec­ own my own home on the ing you try on clothes in FESSIONAL MALE, 29.

Reading Folio Weekly Classifieds Does, Tool what you are missing, answer an ad like this. tive, seeking intellectual Southside. I’m looking for stores, all things out-ofgood-natured, affection­ send a photo and a note and physical equal for Voice/Box 51317 (1/10). _ that special, somewhat doors, craftsman archi­ ate, handsome and jy who needs a and we may soon be serious relationship. slim, lady who needs a BABY FACE, educated, tecture, dining in and out. healthy, 6’1", 185 lbs., friend also, kissing. I am a fit, 5 8 , Chivalry and sense of best friend also.

I am 40s, tall, fit, educat­ very cute, slender, tit, desirea princess to share humor are not dead. I’m ■e/Boxoi39Lijii=l_ hazel eYes' Voice/Box 51397 (1/10)— ed, professional, good mature, disease-free, looking for a beautiful bright eyes and smiles, ATT |?'t l Sn l 'free 6 motlls^dlning ’ , watef sense of humor, consid ­ clean-cut, professionsd AN ATTORNEY. I value lady. Note and photo. spontaneous adventure c__ usnii^atinn free­ erate, supportive, com­ single white male, 30, in Voice/Box 51367 (12/13) and Romantic evenings. passionate, trustworthy search of an aggressive dom, passion Creativity a plus.

SEEKING LADY whom I and usually thouqht to be Uv..-. your y=-r,40usQrs dom 40 55 /years users or or smokerSi smokers, save save Voice/Box 51389 (12/27) can love and who will CLASSDFBEDS handsome. You’re posi­ conveys. Like me, you vour stamp. Voice/Box love me. The rest is tive, bright, creative, nonSANTA HAS A SPECIAL ara attractive? slim, attractive, tun ^nOgVOTnagVere^.!o°n^pr nu 51378 (12/20)__________ Nobody knows how to tell your negotiable.

Professional, smoker, 30-45, spiritual, Christmas gift to leave but notyour seeking _ JS) PRIMETIME. Single Xi^entVn bus; 48, overall nice-appearmessage through classified advertising want to be healthy forev­ under your tree. A 51390 (1/10) ance, humorous/serious, '— 3d. white male, 26, 63, 250 er, somewhere in better than Debbie Delgado.

Velveteen rabbit found in life. Letters Pref’12/20) financially/emotionally lbs., professional, politibetween pretty and cute, Call her this week to learn more a playroom forgotten \/niep/B0X 51370. 1—cally incorrect, seeking stable. You: similar, PRIVACY- a MUST for for proportionate 'female who Easily and are9genuinely young, about our great rates. among the other expen­ •"'■••'ger. Mail preferred.

-_‘■•~nate female who sive and pretty mechani­ ice/Box 51299 (12/13) trust We are adult sing®, nniovs Beavis and Butt- affectionate to everyone Voice/I cal toys. When held and child free and live in O.K. ' d Letterman, got or you |ove. I have no chitTHIS 43-YEAR-OLD, 6’2" there's not anyone to loved he magically gives Name and number fine beach, alternative dren, but enjOy their comdate, why? 43. attractive, warmth, affection and because we are. Photo a young, non-smoker, devotion. Velveteen is 44,

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F0U0WEEK1Y 260-9770

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13. 1994<J>

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RCZ, ach year as we approach the Christmas holidays, I1—.Jacksonville is filled with a festive spirit and a sense of wanting to provide for the common good.

Christmas parties, white lights and greenery, coupled with volunteerism and generosity make this time of year special... and busy.

One organization has been very busy during the last few months preparing for one of its biggest fundraisers of the year. For eighteen years, the Women’s Board of the Wolfson Children’s Hospital Betsy Huntley and has hosted the annual Antiques Show & Sale, a three Ward Huntley day event featuring a series of guest lecturers, conver­ sations with various dealers and antique specialists, and of course the opportunity to pur­ chase some of the finest antiques available anywhere. However, perhaps the most popu­ lar event of the weekend is the Opening Night Preview Party at the Civic Auditorium. The black tie gala treats the guests to an evening of cocktails and fine dining, surrounded by an atmosphere filled with extravagant Christmas decorations, beautiful music, and, of course, exquisite antiques. This year’s party was no exception, as the Women’s Board and the party sponsors transformed the foyer and exhibition hall of the Auditorium into a Christmas wonderland.

Donning their best duds on this Thursday evening were Heather and John Cassidy, Gary and Laine Silverfield, Dr. and Mrs. George Armstrong, Page Ives, Mark Lemel, Susan Burlington, Bennett Brown, Valerie Wrenn, David and Cory Meyers, Barbie Wilson,’ Nancy Donaldson, Dink and Margaret Foerster, Hank and Judy Breitmoser, Sharon and Bill Calkins, Pat Millan, Patricia Leon, Heather and John Cassidy, Charlie Chupp, Mary Bream, Ann Baker, Hazel Hanlon, Jim White, Laura and Bartow McDonald, Denise Dell, Judy Hall and Martha Pinilla.

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I Hank Breitmoser and Jim White

BACK PAGE The New Elitists Kicking around popular democracy.

By Hal Crowther n ot long after the elections I came across a theme calendar jv\r I devoted to monuments of conservative wisdom, and this ■ \- appropriate selection for November:”! would sooner be ™ ™ governed by the first 2,000 names in the Boston telephone directory than by the faculty of Harvard.”-William F. Buckley.

I suppose the little joke here, which would not be shared by most of the 2,000 helots in whom he places such confidence, is that Mr. Buckley graduated from Yale. But his defiantly democratic dec­ laration is of great interest to those of us who are now in a position to test it. If North Carolina hasn’t literally handed the reins of govern­ ment to the first 2,000 names in, say, the Fayetteville phone directo­ ry, we may have ventured further in that direction than any sover­ eign state before us.

Should this be a source of egalitarian satisfaction? Is it just me, or have you also noticed that it’s the most conspicuous elitists, those most infatuated with society, genealogy, status, titles, royalty, famous lifestyles and pedigreed furniture — everything 1 find most tedious and repugnant—who are most likely to extol the wisdom of the common people? In my frustration with popular democracy, I was once denounced as an elitist by a reactionary whose working knowledge of human geography ends with country-club affiliations.

I hate to question the sincerity of William F. Buckley, with whom I’ve had minimal, invariably cordial contact. But aren’t your suspi­ cions aroused when the most eager endorsements of populist prin­ ciples come from people who have the least in common with the common man?

American democracy was designed to give the peasantry genuine leverage against the landed aristocracy, which quickly gave way to the industrial plutocra­ cy. How is it, 200 years later, that the actual and spiritual heirs of the great landowners express perfect satisfaction with a system that was designed to eliminate their pre­ rogatives?

Mr. Buckley is no Huey Long. If he were European, 1 suspect that he would belong to a party of neo-monarchists, and that his remark about the Boston tele­ phone directory would be a drawing-room gaffe of epic proportions. But the Europeans don’t understand our pseudopopulism, the way our ruling class glorifies the ignorant in order to manipulate them — the way, frankly, our culture has been sacrificed to maintain the political and economic status quo. It’s an exquisite new form of hypocrisy and a uniquely American contribu­ tion.

“In our radical interpretation of democracy, our rejection of elites, our well-nigh demagogic respect for the opinions of the unlearned, we are alone,” wrote novelist Robert Stone in The New York Times.The bare-knuckle battles between Democrats and Republicans may seem witlessfy partisan, free of ideological con­ tent But now more than ever these parties reflect a true polariza­ tion, a philosophical schism that’s been evolving ever since the Stars and Stripes replaced the Union Jack.

It’s the privileged who are divided. One group, true Jeffersonians, always believed that the masses could be brought up to speed by universal education and fulfill the dream of authentic egalitarian democracy. The other group always believed the masses could be neutralized-by intimidation, militarism, division and disinformation-so effectively that the Brahmin class would prosper even more under democracy than under a meddlesome king.

A simple test will classify you. When you meet an ignorant per­ son a real dummy, do you see an educational challenge or a finan­ cial’opportunity? The old ruling class is divided into a party of peda^rena^VcMef of the yahoos like Jesse Helms gets slapped down fast enough when his stupidity threatens the master plan. Do you think the fat cats who subsidize the Republican Party give a

formula, matching the poor yahoo’s love of dangerous toys with the capitalist’s love of profit and his insulation from the terrible conse­ quences in the streets.

Another case of flawless cynicism is the GOP’s indifference to public education. Bushes and Buckleys are never educated at the taxpayer’s expense, and the last thing they need is a more aware, sophisticated proletariat that might see through this unnatural alliance. Health care reform, which all but the most affluent Americans need desperately, was hamstrung when conservatives warned the umpen against “socialism" and “big government,” buzz­ words they only half understand.

It has not always been so. Buckley is old enough to remember when the Republican Party was more scrupulous, more diversified — and less successful. He may have been reminded by the death last week of former U.S. Senator Thomas Kuchel, a highly princi­ pled, progressive Republican — from California, no less — who lost his seat in 1968 because of his adamant refusal to endorse Richard Nixon or Ronald Reagan.

There’s a long tradition, in both parties, of exploiting the public’s ignorance. Who can resist, when three-quarters of the students at Ivy League universities are unable to identify the Gettysburg address, and 90 million American adults are illiterate or semi-literate (mini­ mal skills in reading and computation)? Political advertising, long since drained of all practical content, reminds me of fishermen test­ ing flies at some overfished trout stream. o All anyone wants to know is what they were biting on last season.

The critical question is whether NewRight Republicans have tied the ultimate trout fly, unleashed the perfect con. Is it producing so much momentum for the predators that the pedagogues will never be able to overcome it? The 1994 elec­ tions suggest that the GOP has gone beyond exploiting ignorance, to actually cultivating and harvesting strategic strains of it.

We see why ignorance is a precious resource for the Right; but the far Left, sinking in a muddle of ideology that includes the New Age self-esteem movement and the various pieties of multiculturalism, has encouraged a different constituency to celebrate its ignorance. The doctrine that all culture and all opin­ ions are of equal value might harm us more in the long run than generations of neo-fascist blowhards on the radio.

“What is most important is the act of speaking," italicizes the late William A. Henry III in his polemic, In Defense of Elitism, “not what is being said. It goes without saying that this posture is profoundly anti-intellectual and anti-rational.’’

When “empowerment" of minorities and victim groups breeds contempt for learning, logic and fair play, it merely swells the ranks of opinionated bullies who pull down what’s left of American cul­ ture without raising anything in its place. Much of what now passes for public debate is merely an exchange of gibberish between teams of angry partisans whose half-baked notions have never been properly deflated.

An elitist, today, is anyone who spoils the fun. Defiant subliter­ ates have been nurtured on flattery. They’re so accustomed to hear­ ing that they're the salt of the earth, they fall down foaming if you tell them, no, I haven’t the least respect for your taste, your judgment or your sacred personal voice.

The new class of elitists includes me, and maybe a lot of readers my age. If we voted our wallets we might be Republicans. But you can’t silence an old-fashioned liberal conscience — or an old-fash­ ioned liberal education that tells you PC and the excesses of the “post-modems” are castles in the sand.

We’re stuck in the middle, the frustrated teachers. We’re Ancient Mariners, stopping wedding guests to warn them that democracy is like patriotism: If you hear someone preaching it in the street, watch out.

But no red-blooded American will listen to an elitist. Forget it, then. Go have a beer with William F. Buckley.

Mr; Byddey os nc Huey Loaigo Of he were Eyropeaoiip 0 suspedt that he womM belong t© a party of neo-monarchists.

against gun control is the classic example of the new Republican ,,

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e„hmi^innc to BackPaae Submissions should be 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest and/or concern. Send BackPages to Tim Thornton, Folio Weekly, 9456 32256 Opinions expressed in BackPage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

FOLIO WEEKLY DECEMBER 13,1994

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