Folio Weekly Vol 8. No. 1, April 5, 1994

SEVENTH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE FREE H VOL. 8, NO. 8 13 APRIL 5, 19 9 4

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The Fen wicks & Bluegrass ffi World Cup Soccer

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BOOKS, CARDS, & GIFTS

Upcoming Events Meet

TODAY!

Belvaat Plain White’s of San Marco

Chuck Shepherd, author of Folio’s “News of the Weird” WILL BE SIGNING HIS FOUR BOOKS AT

White’s of Deerwood from 12 noon -1 pm

Sunday, April 17 12 noon - 2 PM

TONIGHT! Chuck Shepherd will be at

Theatre Jacksonville from 7 pm - 9 pm His most bizarre - and true - news will have you in stitches!

There will be a reception and autographing following.

DOUBLE SIGNING! Dori Sanders and Connie SViIay Fowler White’s of St. Johns Wednesday, May 18 Join us for readings & refreshments with Dori Sanders, Her Own Place, ($9, Ballantine) 4:30pm-6:30pm and Connie May Fowler, River of Hidden Dreams, ($22.95, Putnam)

To

Fill Out Coupon Relow And Visit Any White’s to Register Win a $50 Gift Certificate

“ Name I Address

Belva Plain, a New York Times best-selling author, will be signing her new release Daybreak ($22.95) at White’s of San Marco April 17 from noon - 2pm.

In Daybreak, Plain creates a portrait of two families joined by a devastating childhood ill­ Daybreak ness, yet divided by the politics of Delacorte, $22.95 hatred and the sons they love.

Plain has written a series of best-selling nov­ els including the million-copy-selling Werner family saga of The Golden Cup, Tapestry and Harvest, which continues the story begun in Evergreen, now the basis for an NBC miniseries.

Meet International Artist D. Morgan

Drawing Will De Held On April 15

FRIDAY, APRIL 23

Deerwood 10am-noon, Atlantic Beach 2pm-4pm

SATURDAY, APRIL 24

C~] CZZ3 CTTJ EZZ3

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St. Johns 10am-noon, San Marco 2pm-4pm

__ _____

Zip.

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Phone (H)(W).

Are you currently on our mailing list? Yes

San Marco Square 1992 San Marco Blvd.

398-5021

No

The first 200 to attend each signing receive a free print!

0

St. Johns Village 4000-4 St. Johns Ave. 387-9288

Deerwood Village Mall 9978-3 Baymeadows Rd 645-8518

Monday thru Friday 10am-8pm, Saturd;lay 10am-6pm Sunday 12:00pm-5pm

Atlantic Village 989-B Atlantic Blvd.

247-1826

TABLE OF CONTENTS Cover Feature Reasonable Force or Wrongful Death?

I he story that began the night Officer Larry Branch killed Greg Eage and Jarnes Mabe is far from over.

By Tim Thornton

Stage By Tanuja Mehrotra

Writers By Don Lee Keith

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Cultural Phenomenon

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The Mail

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Briefcases Bouquets & Brickbats Local News Summary Sports Talk By Greg Larson

© © Sports By Jay Polachek © ©

L7I) poking for Child Care?

By Bill Weatherman Music Aivid Smith

Politics

© ©

Straight Dope By Cecil Adams

Commentary By Victoria Donnelly ® News of the Weird By Chuck Shepherd ® Restaurant Guide Best Bets <D © This Week Calendar Listings © Classifieds Music By Carlton Higginbotham

© Real Astrology EyRobBrezsny © The Eye

Art By Ted Weeks

© BackPage By Travis Charbeneau

Movies By Pat McLeod

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Publisher: Sam Taylor Associate Publlsher/Ad Director: T. Farrar Martin Editor: Tim Thornton Production Manager: Meg Hendiyx Sales Manager: Dave Hendiyx Hendryj Business Manager Lynn McClendon Photo Editor Walter Coker Receptionist: Debbie Delgado D( Staff Writer: Tanuja Mehrotra Editorial Intern: Jay Polachek Classified Advisor Sherri Broussard Graphic Designers: Phyllis Vandermolen, Susan Rigdon Graphic Intern: Mike Birchall Sales Representatives: Rebecca Banaszak, Amy Jenigen, Kathrin Lancelle, Pamela Lloyd, Jeff Piercey, Anne Rossignol and Emily Taylor Contributing Writers: Cecil Adams, Frank Andrew, Travis Charbeneau, Hal Crowther, Victoria Donnelly, Laura W. Haywood, Anne M. Johnson, Greg Larson, Pat McLeod, Manane Matera, Lance Roberts, Chuck Shepherd. Arvid Smith and Ted Weeks Cartoonists: Tom Tomorrow and Darby McClintock. Folio Weekly is published Tuesday and 32,000 copies are distributed throughout the Northeast Florida area. It contains opinions of con­ tributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Manuscripts or materials should be accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope to be returned. Please allow six weeks for a response. Calendar information must be received three weeks in advance of event date Copyright © Folio association of Publishing, Inc 1994. All rights reseived. Advertising rales and information are available on request. One ------------------------- free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are 25« each. The subscription rate is $8 for 13 wks., $15 for 26 wks., and $28 for 51 wks. by 3rd class mail. First nzi^/iriranirirT^ Class mail subscriptions are $20 for 13 wks., $40 for 26 wks. and $70 f.\ V/ V L1Mb 1 t,L/ alternative newsweeklies for 51 wks. Address all correspondence to Folio Weekly, 9456 LA audit circulation Phillips Highway, Suite 11, Jacksonville, Fl 32256. (904) 260-9770.

We Can Help!

To Parents:

Ffll 10 8 ULBU b VLLIIXLll

A.A.N.

FROMTHE EDITOR I used to have this quote taped to my telephone. It was something like: “A man’s greatest disappointment lies in the difference between what he thought would be and what he has in fact become.” That’s not exactly right and I don’t know who said it because one day while I was at lunch, a serviceman came and replaced my phone and my inspirational quote was gone forever.

The lesson of the quote was twofold. First, never attach anything you want to keep to something that can be carried off. (That was the lesson of the serviceman, actually.)

Second, it’s a good idea to stop and take stock once in a while, just to keep track of how far off course you’re veering. Better to catch those detours early — and decide whether they are detours or genuine new paths — than to wake to the sudden and painful realiza­ tion that your plans to be a major league shortstop went down the tubes 15 years ago and you haven’t developed a Plan Byet.

Anniversaries are a good time for such stock-taking.

With this issue Folio Weekly is seven years old, so let’s take stock.

When Folio Weekly turned six, we unveiled a new look and a new attitude. In this very space I wrote: ‘‘Our interests are broader. There’s a harder edge to our stories, a sharper point to our commentaries.... It’s not that we’re getting stuffy - Folio Weekly will continue its tradition of irreverence and unpredictability. It’s just that Folio Weekly respects our readers interests and concerns enough to take them seriously."

I think we’ve done fairly well at all that. This issue is a case in point. This week Folio Weekly addresses a controversial shooting and the legal cases that have risen from it, the mythic aura of Southerner writers, baseball, soccer, cheerleading, a new compact disc, bluegrass music, a movie, an art exhibit, a different view of The Players Championship and a stage production based on a 70s sitcom. And some other stuff.

Since its last anniversary, Folio Weekly has been accepted into the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies and has joined the Florida Press Association. That may not sound like a big deal, but membership in those associations gives us abilities that we didn’t have before — researching and networking and investigative abilities — and an opportunity to improve ourselves by learning from publications across the country.

All things considered, I think we’ve made a good bit of progress.

As I see it, there are only two things left for Folio Weekly to do: more and better — which is just what we intend to do.

Probably the most cliche-like phrase used at Folio Weekly is that we want to “go to . x{ ievel.” But it’s not a cliche. It’s a mission. 1 think we’ve climbed a few stairs ■ e last year. This week we’ll catch our breath. Then it’s on to the next level.

1 hope you’ll stick with us.

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Personalized consultation on all your child care needs What to look for in a quality child care program Information on accredited child care programs Information about financially assisted child care Toy Lending Library

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To Providers: o

Referrals for parents from our computerized listing of child care providers o HRS and CDA training provided at no cost o Assistance to become a licensed child care provider 0 Participation in the USDA Child Care Food Program 0 Information and assistance on how to become an accredited program For free information and referrals call:

or local 632-0000

Child Care Resource and Referral A Service of Episcopal Child Care and Development Centers 134 E. Church Street. Jacksonville. FL

Florida Children's Forum itATI O» FUMUO*

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DEVELOPMENT CENTERS, INC.

United Way

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5,1994

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Republican Vultures The main reason Whitewater has become a so-called scandal is because Republicans have very little to contribute the nation. They lack any perception and knowledge on issues such as welfare reform, health care, crime, or the economy , President Clinton has done more for tnis country in the first year, than any other pres­ ident in 34 years. He has certainly accom­ plished more than Bob Dole or Newt Gringrich have in their entire careers.

Instead of trying insipidly to capture the high moral ground, and continually show total disrespect for the president and Hillary Rodham Clinton, Republicans should try to introduce new ideas to the nation. But, they continue to feed on people’s fears and cyni­ cal attitudes like vultures feed on road kill.

The American people, for the most part, are becoming more perceptive as time goes on. Republicans will realize this again in 1996.

Chuck Lysaght

infant to publi^^

268-2488 ______________________ FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

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BdflUBseye!

We’ve got Nancy Hogshead, an Olympic gold medalist in swimming. We can also claim Bob Hayes, a track gold medalist. But not many know that Olympic gold medalist archer Jay Barrs is also a Jacksonville native. He was bom and raised here and his parents still reside here. Now he makes his home in Salt Lake City, Utah. Jon Cook, president of North Florida Archers, says that since Barrs has so many fine achieve­ ments in archety and since he happens to Jacksonville be from here he deserves to be recognized.

The North Florida Archers will honor him C©ver Those Brasists April 9 during a dedication ceremony for a 50-acre archery range that will be named Jeanne Faulconer’s obsession with after him. It will be called the Jay Barrs Gold breastfeeding (“Breastfeeding, A Personal Medal Archery Range. and Political Work Place Issue, March 22, Barrs holds 10 national archery titles, 1994) and her wont to inflict her personal philosophy on the work place are truly and is the sole winner of back-to-back world field archery championships. He won amazing. (Is she really serious?)

First of all, yes, we are mammals, but we the Men’s Individual Gold Medal for archery walk upright, breastfeeding is a choice and in the 1988 Seoul, South Korea, Olympics somehow prior to and in the '50s, ’60s, 70s and the silver medal in the 1992 Barcelona, and early ’80s, mothers managed to bond Spain, Olympics. He’s aiming for the gold with and breastfeed their children in loving, again in 1996.

At the dedication ceremony, Barrs will intimate privacy and when not able to do so, they “expressed” their mother’s milk be presented with a sand blasted sign for and had it available “on cue” for their baby. the archery range and a bronze plaque that Granted a bared breast for the purpose outlines his achievements thus far. Barrs of “discreet" breastfeeding may be far more will also give a 15 minute demonstration of acceptable to most than the thonged or his archery abilities. He will shoot Alka french-bikini bared bottoms of beachgoers, Seltzers and life savers off of golf tees at a or the micro-mini, transparent clothing distance of 15 meters. It might sound silly, being offered as fashion to today’s woman, but according to Cook, it requires a remark­ able amount of skill. Barrs will use the tradi­ but where is all this going to end?

It seems that the young parents of the tional recurve bow or “stick bow’’ as ’90s, although as Faulconer stated back archers call it which makes the demonstraf more of a challenge. Those bows don't packs or baby slings are available, have not tion only seized upon their personal choice of have a formal sighting system on them. crowd plowing shopping carts to wield baby Cook says, “In order to hit the target with strollers through narrow-aisled antique that bow you have be an instinctive shooter shops, shopping malls, craft fairs or other ... it requires a lot of practice." The archery large, crowded gatherings regardless of the demonstration and range dedication are fact that the child is overexposed to numer­ open to the public and will be held in con­ ous climatic changes, sharp-edged or point­ junction with a North Florida 3D Circuit ed packages, noises, odors and illnesses Shoot that begins at 8 a.m., April 9. The sees nothing but kneecaps, can be tripped dedication and demonstration are at noon. over and fallen upon, not to mention many The range is located on U.S. 17, north of 1many a bruised shin or ankle to others but 295, across from NAS Jacksonville.

offered on the premises) allow her to brine

10092-6 San Jose Blvd.

Mandarin

feeding mothers are wantonly leaving, neglecting and not caring for their infants.

This blatant, outrageous piety is fodder for a new form of discrimination; just exactly what we need in today’s multi-discriminatoiy society.

Judy Phillips Jacksonville

exposing an an

companies have tcTnroX a parent? Wi“ care for an breastfeeding mothers?™31 . it would

Digging for Wells When archeologist for the St. Augustine: Preservation Board, Stanley Bond and his crew began excavating a site between Aviles and Charlotte streets in 1989, they were hoping to find remnants from the reli8‘0us order called the Blessed Sacrament.

What they came across was an ancient coquina well dating back to 1650. Within the well they found some strange items parts of a chair, a cooking pot, a flask.

Why would such items be tossed into well? Bond says they were able to conn tt to a 1668 raid on St. Augustine ledJV pirate Robert Searles. People, Pr0'ja^Trft,' members of the Blessed Sacrament, tnre>

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items into the wells to save them from pillaging pirates.

What makes this discovery unusual is that the well was constructed with coquina, Bond says, "Coquina wells were rare for St. Augustine during this time period ... it predates the fort." It is the oldest coquina well they know of at the ■moment ■IVIIICHU Employees 17—' of the Preservation Board are reconstructing the site, using coquina blocks to bring the well up to its normal height. When they are finished, the well will stand rpp __ v four —u. uuuvc jiuunu approximately feet above ground and... eight feet estimates they .

----- deep.

—Bond 4_,v,Ilvl coumaica uiey will fomally epcr. open the site to iuc the public uy by the end of April

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Look Out Ren and Stimpy

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There was a time in the ’40s and ’50s when a zany cartoon always aired before the main feature. Thirty years later that tradition has almost died, but filmmaker Steven Speilberg and his crew are determined to revive it.

They’re debuting Yakko, Wakko and Dot Warner, known to tv cartoon fans as the Animaniacs, on the big screen in their first theAtriral chnrt nalloH Pm mir-. atrical short called I’m Mad! The tmw four-minuteand-50-second animated film opens Warner Bros.’ latest feature, Hans Christian Andersen's

or chopped filler are generally not worth smoking. You must remember etiquette. A true connoisseur is sensitive to the non-smokers around him. Like fine wine, be careful to keep your cigar away from extreme humidity and temperature changes and harsh light, Always make sure you savor the cigar as Davidoff writes in his cigar guidelines, nine Donlkt light up up aa cigar ifuyou don uuu’tihave navethe u time to enjoy■ jt; but certainly allow yourself the tim to enjoy this pleasure.” ________ ____________ " Davidoff dedicated his life to offering the world the finest possible cigars.. He also made a pretty profit off the venture — there are now 32 Davidoff stores worldwide. Now you can call yourself refined and indulge in some Davidoff cigars too. The Ritz-Carlton in Amelia Island presents The Smoker — A Cigar Connoisseur’s Dinner on Friday April 8. The dinner begins with a champagne reception at 7 p.m. followed by a seven­ course meal. After the dessert you’ll be able to blow smoke rings (if that’s acceptable under the cigar etiquette guidelines) with Davidoff cigars and cognacs. The dinner is $125 per cigar connoisseur. For further details, call 277-1100.

HERE’S THE PROOF THAT YOU CAN MEET YOUR “TYPE” 4 THROUGH , y EXPECTATIONS.

n lrfl8B3=oOjP SDBDgte Local entertainer David James was fea­ tured on the cover of Folio Weekly for a story about hip-hop culture (November 5,1991) Now, he’s put out his first single on the Eastsound Records Label. It’s called “My Bedroom." It’s available on cassette single.

Mew journal In September of this year, The Wall Street Journal will begin inserting in its regular edition a weekly section enti­ tled The Florida Journal. The weekly insert will cover statewide topics ranging from politics and economics to Yacko, Wacko and Dot smile for the animators. business and finance. The new publication will be Thumbelina. Yakko, Wakko and Dot, two housed in Orlando and be headed by brothers and a kid sister,, look like Goofy„ Robert Johnson, The Wall Street Journal’s meets Mickey mongrels, and they’ve been deputy bureau chief in Houston.

-------.---------------------------------------------------t around just as long. They were created in the early 1930s “by an unnamed animator who • •» -> - - » »*->_-----1----- 4.1...... crossed over the edge.” It’s no wonder they were quickly put away for 50 years. Warner Bros, thought they were too crazy for the genDan Rather’s appearance at the

Dan’s Changed

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age of The Simpsons and Ren and Slimpy.

28, 1994) has been rescheduled for April At present, the Animaniacs have been 22, 1994.

• •------------------ „1------------- ------enjoying tv stardom since their show Steuen7 -------------Spielberg Presents Animaniacs premiered in September.

Their hhumor “ is the slapstick, irrev- C@[fFGCtlOSlS S^p^...L —. TL.L . . mi _i------------------------------ fnnhu-ac r'n-i’rL erent .kind.

The classic animation features orig­ ediliorr1 f^e ^’te Bite Neighborhood inal musical scores for each episode from Karin Tucker owns Biscottis Espresso show tunes to ballads to thrash rock. No, not Cafe on 3556 St. Johns Ave., 387-2060. really thrash. But they do dabble in rap. i spirit of Warner Bros.’ classic car- Pizza Palace also serves lunch; they’re at In the 1526 King St., 384-8722. in 1honor Bunny, toons — ...

------ of - ' "Bugs D ’ T Daffy n Beech Street Grill is open seven days a Duck, JJ'twoivi Sylvester and Tweety, Elmer Fudd,, DUCK, the Tasmanian C. Devil — andJ "" all the rest check week from 5:30 p.m. to 10 p m Located at tnc 801 Beech St., Fernandina Beach, 277-3662. out ITm ’m Mad! at your local movie theater.

David s hours are Tuesday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and Cmnl/P P (PSC Thursday through Saturday from 6 p.m. to amUKC 10 p.m. Located at 834 Kingsley Ave., 264-

But Smoke Better

7431.From the Get Out edition:

That was cigar connoisseur Zino Davidoff’s motto. Like the art of tasting wine, there’s an art to tasting cigars. Here are few guidelines you you might want to remember. A guidelines 00 percent tobac truly fine cigar is made of 1100 tobac-­ — _ /-Soars co cigars made with homogenized tobacco

The Art of Skydiving telephone number js 260-3743 or 1-800-993-4455.

From Briefcases: March 22, 1994: President of the Jacksonville Suns Peter Bragan Jr.’s name js spelled B-r-a-g-a-n.Q

Our approach to meeting compatible mates resulted in more than a wedding per day last year!

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& BRICKBATS

Pamper Yourself!

o • 1 to The Florida Times-Union. itmesruiuun. On w.. the front num page of Of Brickbats to 29 ■ ssue — the- -pT-U ran what was ircii — the Tuesday, ividruii f— .. first interview with former University of

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Now you can afford services that were available only through private clubs and expensive resorts.

A bouquet to the students of Northwestern Middle School and to their principal, Terry Hodge. Hodge has fought to upgrade the facility implementing a Cities-in-SchooIs coun­ selor and a resource officer on the premises. The students’ positive attitudes and active participation has instilled a new sense of pride in the school.

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Readers are encouraged to send in their Brickbats & Bouquets to the Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Highway, Suite 11, Jacksonville, Fla. 32256. Or send via FAX, 260-9773. Be sure to include your name and telephone number.

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Foundaiion g„,. fa w,„ „£ ^Xen^lnd Sh’e’ducato’ Third cabbie killed in H k his cab last week. Gay who started h-8*- Rjcl?arcl Lanier Gay was found shot to death in on the same block where another d>JS -J°^ day before he was murdered, was found gunshot wounds to the head. ei Was five months ago. Gay died of multiple

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Gm^manaSt°Augusti™°Corp St J°hnS County haS agreed ‘° S'Ve refund in 1995 With th» 3‘ $131,100 donation that will give the company a tax were forced to lay off ie money, ^ Grumman rumman hopes to bring back some of the people they

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Brickbats to the city of St. Augustine Beach. The city plans to replace the temporary ramp on A street that leads to the beach with what they call a permanent ramp made from wood The ramp would be built up on pilings and the pilings would be on the sand, which is constantly subject to ero­ sion. How can they call it a permanent ramp if it’s built on an impermanent base? It’s all part of the illusion that we can control the beach environment.

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United Way honors NFL a d l l«e jacksonvi|le Jaguars were^wirdorm?13*^' As tbe local representative of the NFL, Way’s highest recognition of ouS^o T A'exiS de Tocqneville Award, the Untied 20 years of free public service adverts n! m \Beer leadership. The award was given for KBJ award • • 8 NFL haS S‘Ven t0 the United Way’ KBJ Architec,s Inc., a Jacksonville W was selected over 14 other archita t°riU>n? lnto a showpiece performing arts cen Adeeb a s b art-nitectural firms nationwide. to°pav thpSr°ffiCe?early ^‘^ds^theba uariy Adeeb paid the Duval County-T?d

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We’ve Moved ",Adding New Furniture

SPORTS TALK

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Expanded! To Our Inventory

Same Center, New Location Over 4,000 Square Feet!

An outstanding coach and the making of a champion.

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By Greg Larson here’s a lot of talk about coaches more. It’s a combination of gymnastics, around town these days. Jimmy tumbling and dancing. Cheering at games Johnson, Barry Switzer, Lon is secondary to the state, national and Kruger, Tom Coughlin, etc. regional competitions. Everything starts in My favorite? None of the above.

June with two hours of practice each day Vince Lombardi? Used to be. through the end of March.

Tommy Lasorda? Uh-uh.

Englewood is a little like schools with The best coaching job I’ve ever seen well-known programs in other sports in that turned in was registered by a guy named many of the participants on the cheerlead­ Joe Howell. You’ve never heard of the guy ing squad transfer in to be on the squad. and probably never will again. Howell Howell is black. Yet he kicked the only two coaches the national championship cheer­ blacks off the squad because he didn’t feel leading squad at Englewood High. they were working hard enough. He kicked You can take your leave now that I’ve three girls off for skipping school one day. identified the subject. But you might want Another girl was let go because he said he to hang around because this guy is a com­ lost confidence in her. It should be said bination Vince Lombardi-Bobby Knight. that Howell offered to let these people 1 know this is cheerleading, not a major cheer at games but removed them from the sport, but Howell made it close to life and competition squad. death and what a great education he pro­ I found myself throughout the season vided. He tossed kids out of practice. He calling my daughter almost every day to get stormed out of practice himself. Like a Joe Howell report. Sometimes the cheer­ Lombardi, he treated his players equally — leading captain would call “players only” like dogs. meetings at her house because Howell’s This is all about goal-setting, setting stan­ demands seemed to be eroding morale. dards and straining to The effects of a 10adhere to them and month season plus hav­ tolerating no frivolity. The best coaching ing to work conces­ Players had little con­ sions at Coliseum tests to see if they job D’ve ever seen events to help defray could catch Howell costs can be rather turned m was smiling. wearing. But Howell I’ve never spoken never let them forget to Howell. I admit that registered by a gyy about standards and I’m a tad intimidated goals. by him. Yes, a local­ named Joe Howell One day 1 asked my level ruffian like me daughter what she Howell coaches thought about Joe intimidated by a cheerleading coach.

Howell, who is also her the national Howell doesn’t math teacher. It was right after report card schmooze much with championship time. She was between parents, so I get most a C and a B. Howell of this from my 10th grade daughter Erica, cheerleading sqoad gave her a C. “Now is not a good who was on the squad, and her moth­ at Englewood Migho time to ask me about Mr. Howell,” she said. er.

I loved it.

Several times her There were a few mother said she thought Howell was too demanding. Let it finicky parents, mothers especially, who ride don’t say a word,” 1 told her. This was thought Howell was too tough on their little going to be a tremendous education. girls or boys. Yes boys. Big-time cheerlead­ Surprisingly, she demurred and said noth- ing squads are made up of 10 girls and six boys. ir)0 But when the Englewood squad hoisted Howell preferred to practice on the gym floor so practices were at night after bas­ the national championship banner, nobody ketball and other activities had cleared the had any problems with Joe Howell.

My daughter shook her head and said, cvm If one of his kids was too sick to attend school Howell expected them to “You were right Dad. All we had to do was rest all day and be ready to practice that hang in there."

What an education! nicht My daughter did that several times Sone time she was simply too sick to I couldn’t resist, though. “What about Joe Howell now?" 1 asked her.

She just laughed.

I loved it.

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Droam trtag® Remembering the joys of home ownership.

By Victoria Donnelly

n sold my first house recently, a big, tra11 ditional, two-story home on a huge ■ rectangular lot. 1 fell in love with it at EJ first sight and thought I’d live there forever; it had more space than my last four apartments combined, and extra touches I couldn’t resist, like built-in oak shelves on either side of the fireplace and a kitchen big enough to sublet.

It was supposed to be my dream home and 1 sometimes feel a pang when 1 look at pictures of it now, from the safety of my new apartment. It’s a strange feeling 1 haven’t had before, a combination of sad­ ness and the realization that, when God really wants to punish us, he gives us exactly what we want.

I guess it was the size of the place that really hooked me. The house was on a cul-de-sac with a huge, fenced back yard; my husband, Frank, and I were childless at the time, but I immediately envisioned armies of little Donnellys and their friends out back, play­ ing by the pool we’d no doubt put in the minute the deal closed. There wasn’t much landscap­ ing and the all-wood exterior needed paint­ ing, but, as our realtor kept repeating, those were fixable problems.

A few hundred bushes, a few hundred gallons of paint and we’d be ready for the cover of House Beautiful.

We bought the house and, with what remained of our life savings, bought enough paint to cover it.

My husband took a week’s vacation from work and we got started, full of the hope and pride and stupidity of brand new homeowners. I guess my first inkling there might be a problem came when my hus­ band climbed the triple-extended ladder to the highest part of the house and stayed there an hour and a half, painting the same square foot of wood over and over and over again. He’s so thorough, 1 thought, and tried not to scream hysterical­ ly and shake the ladder with rage. It took two days and the near-end of our marriage before 1 realized he was just scared to death of heights. ] had to tackle the high parts myself, but the house finally did get painted. I remember the incredible feeling of walking across the cul-de-sac to look at the finished product; the house, freshly painted in lovely brown with blue shutters, the vast expanse of lawn freshly mowed. Who could have thought that two kids, reporters bv trade could live in such a mansion? It never occurred to me to ask the really important questions, like what we were

doing with this colossal maintenance pro­ ject when we resented even the few min­ utes it took to clean our previous place.

How much did we know, or want to know, about cinch bugs, mole crickets and wood rot and termites? Just what the hell were we doing there, anyway?

We stayed put for almost five years; we persevered and neither of us ever let on to the other exactly how miserable we were.

I spent hours mowing the lawn after work so Frank wouldn’t have to devote half the weekend to the job; he got up at the crack of dawn to move the sprinkler around the faraway corners of drought-weary grass.

Both of us learned more than we ever cared to know about using broom handles to force the blades of the garbage disposal to turn again, and finding the perfect gizmo to make the toilets stop running.

We persevered, but we never really got the hang of it. We clipped every article ever written about fertil­ ization and pest control, but large patches of our lawn withered and died anyway, the victim of cinch bugs or sod web worms or the other ungodly insects that ms make life miserable for those of us too poor to hire a lawn service.

I think the entire house was clean on two occasions: once when we first moved in and again when we finally decided to abandon ship and move out.

Otherwise, it was clean in patches; the entire downstairs sparkled when company came, and the dining room and formal liv­ ing room, the two rooms we hardly used, usually stayed that way. The kitchen floor wasn’t washed nearly often enough, though, and I avoided vacuuming upstairs for weeks at a time. I discovered early 1 had a terrible combination of personality quirks: I hated to clean, but I hated having a messy house even more. I’d trudge through the house resentfully, vowing each lime to put things away and finally keep it neat; it never worked. If I wasn’t quite Oscar Madison, 1 was no Felix Unger, either.

So I sold the house of my dreams and I’m still not sure whether tears the last day came from sadness or relief. I have a child now, but I’ve gone from four bedrooms to two, from 2,300 square feet to 900. The apartment’s only temporary, of course; soon, I’ll start looking for a new house.

The dream has changed, though. Give me a small, brick house with a pretty pool and rock gardens filling up most of the back yard. Better yet, give me a condo.

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An off-duty Jacksonville police officer killed two unarmed men in 1992.

That’s just the beginning of the story.

Bif Im Ttoretow ! hree minutes.

I That’s how much time passed between the first and second phone calls from the red brick house with the gray trim — Larry Branch’s house — to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office.

Time enough for two men to die.

The cause of death in each case case “was classified as multiple gunshot wounds and the manner of death was clas­ sified as Homicide.” The calls were made and the shots were fired by the same man, Branch, a detective with the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office. The men he killed were James Darrell Mabe and Lewis Gregory Page.

The killings touched off a legal battle that goes far beyond questions about what happened that night and whether Branch’s actions were justified. In separate lawsuits, the estates of Mabe and Page charge that the JSO's policies, practices and proce-

dures “permitted, encouraged, tolerated and ratified a pattern of practice of unjusti­ fied, unreasonable and illegal shootings by police officers..."

The suits charge that JSO “policies and customs” lead officers to believe that “improper discharges [of firearms] would not be honestly and properly investigated ... with the foreseeable result that officers are more likely to use deadly force in situa­ tions where such force is neither necessaiy or reasonable.”

The events that filled those three fatal minutes, as described by Branch, were very straightforward: "Two subjects tried to force their way into my home, after threat­ ening to kill me and a mother and her two children. I opened the door for the subects (sic) and both tried to assault me, after 1 had told them both I was a police officer, and they were under arrest. I shot both subjects in self-defense.”

Both men, autopsies showed, were legally drunk. The mother and children

Branch mentioned were Page’s wife, son and step daughter.

Det. J. A. Bradley’s report — the report that the JSO Firearms Review Board depended on — offered a more complete telling of Branch’s version of the deadly three minutes: “...[Branch] stated that when he opened the front door that two men pushed into his residence and that one of the men grabbed him by the neck area. The other man was behind the first man and slightly to the man’s right. They were in the foyer of the residence. The second man was Mr. Page and he was try­ ing to get around the first man and hit Det. Branch. Mr. Page and the man were inside his residence and he told them that he was a police officer and that they were under arrest. He had his gun in his back pocket and he pulled the weapon. Mr. Page came around the first man on the man’s right side and Det. Branch fired several shots at both of the subjects.

“The two suspects then turned and ran

out of the residence by way of the front door and Det. Branch stated that he ran after them and continued to fire his weapon at them from the front porch area.

Mr. Page ran towards the driveway and the other man ran towards the vehicle. Mr. Page fell on the sidewalk by the driveway and the other man ran to the vehicle. Det. Branch ran around the back of the vehicle into the street area where the shell casings were located in the street. He stated from this position he thought that the suspect was getting a weapon from the vehicle and he fired several times with his weapon at the suspect. The suspect then fled the scene in the vehicle. Somewhere during this time his weapon jammed and he ran to his police vehicle and obtained a sec­ ond magazine for his weapon and cleared the weapon of the jammed shell and inserted the second magazine.”

The “suspect" who “fled the scene” was Mabe. He was found, dead, a few hundred feet from Branch’s house. The Jeep FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994 <f>

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that there would be a grand jury investica tion into the shootings.

The decision was driven by public doubt about the State Attorney’s conclusion. That doubt was fed by charges of conspiracy and cover-up from the families of the dead men.

Two months later, the grand jury issued its report: “We sympathize with the families of the deceased, but we do not agree with them about what the facts prove. We feel that no one knows nor will anyone ever know exactly what happened that

times, at least five of them while hewas m the Jeep, trying to drive away. Page * didn’t make it as far as the Jeep was sho four times. Apparently, m the hrs‘ moments of the shooting, Pag wounded much more severely than Mabe.

According to Bradley’s report: On the sidewalk starting at the front porch and leading to the driveway was what appeared to be a trail of blood ... the trail of blood continued across the driveway behind Det. Branch’s detective car to the the (sic) sidewalk on the right side of the driveway.

The trail of blood stoped (sic) at this location and this is where the victim Page was located.”

Branch has said that he thought Page and Mabe were armed when they came into his house. They were not. He has said he thought Mabe was going to the Jeep to get a gun. There was no gun in the Jeep.

Branch’s story was accept­ ed — more or less — by the State Attorney, a grand jury and the Firearms Review Board. At least, none of them found enough evidence to disprove Branch’s version of the events.

State Attorney Harry Shorstein was quoted in the press as saying, “We did not make a determination in our office that the actions of Officer Branch were proper or necessary. We have made a determination that we do not believe there’s probable cause of a prosecutable Officer Larry Branch displaying a bruise he allegedly charge.” recieved the night he shot Page and Mabe.

As Assistant State Attorney Jon Phillips explained much later, “I don’t night. After reviewing all the available facts think we ever said the shooting was justi­ and testimony, there are still inconsisten­ fied. What I think we’ve said is that we cies in the details of that evening. ... This Grand Juiy has concluded that there were errors in judgment made by James Mabe, Greg Page and Larty Branch. ... Gossip, rumor, and innuendo are not admissible evidence and cannot be used as the basis for an indictment. After intense scrutiny, the theories and beliefs of the families [of the siain men] of what might have hap­ pened simply did not materialize.”

Almost a year after the grand jury report, the Firearms Review Board voted unanimously to clear Branch. Capt. Larry’ Russell, one of the four, told the press, My decision wasn’t based on Lany Branch as a police officer, it was based on Larry Branch as a citizen and a property owner being accosted and attacked and put >n fear of his life. It’s unfortunate the force had to be deadly force, but it was very rear sonable.”

None of this stopped the stoiy. It keeps going, through state court, federal court, bankruptcy court, an FBI investigation ana an examination by U.S. Department oi couldn't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn’t justifiable " D Justice. Understanding this story — if suC„ a thing is possible — requires picking long before Branch armed himself with n> service pistol and opened his door to man who had allegedly threatened to Kt him. Before Branch’s first call to the J»u fcxx *■-— — - - -

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that night. Before that night, even. You have to go back at least six months before the killings.

According to Bradley's report, Page’s wife, Pamela, met Branch at church about six months before the killings. She had

began attending Branch’s church, Branch “noticed Pam Page and inquired about her, learning she was married. Despite this knowledge, Detective Branch persisted to befriend Pam Page. He learned she was experiencing marital difficulties, and

"On the sidewalk starting at the front porch and leading to the driveway was what appeared to be a trail Mwi® bob UlfD® trail of blood continue gKGims® lite ftwway... to the the (ste) shtewaK ■ * hiK soft ®0 fflte ftowBsrajf, ... ftte wfUasiJ0® fc victim wb told Branch that her husband had “beaten her severely several times” and that she was afraid of him. None of these alleged assaults were reported to the police.

Before the shootings, the report says, Pamela had filed for divorce.

According to the report: “Mrs. Page left home with her two children on Friday, August 28, 1992 and went to Larry

advised her that he would let her and her children stay with him temporarily until she could initiate court proceedings and get temporaiy exclusive use and possession of the marital home. Detective Branch encour­ aged her to do this, telling her that he had done that sort of thing before. He also offered to take her to an attorney friend of his and pay for her divorce." Branch did

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This is where it all began, at Larry Branch's house.

Branch’s house. She talked to her husband on Saturday.

“On Monday, August 31, 1992 her hus­ band threatened to kill Mrs. Page and had thrown her clothes out of the house.”

Several times, Page - with his wife’s permission — picked up their son at Branch’s house. Once, when she went to get the boy, “She and Mr. Page got into an argument and her husband pushed her down. She got her son and returned to Larry Branch’s residence. Mrs. Page told her husband that Larry Branch was a police detective and he replied ‘1 know all about your detective buddy.’’’

That’s what the report says. A lawsuit in federal court on behalf of Page’s estate naints a different picture.

P After Pamela Page and her children

pay a lawyer a retainer “believed to be $1,500” to “expedite the serving” of divorce papers, the suit says later.

Pamela Page told her husband that she was separating from him and moving in with a friend from church. Page didn’t learn until four days later that the friend was Branch. “He was upset," according to the suit, “believing mistakenly, at that time, that there was a romantic relationship between his wife and Larry Branch."

According to the suit, Page and Branch talked several times between Sept. 1 and Sept. 4 — the day Page found out that his wife was living at Branch’s house and the day Branch shot Page and Mabe. Branch, according to the suit, agreed to make pay­ ments on the van Pamela Page was driving and to take care of the children.

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On the day of the killings, Pag served with d‘vor^ pap^^Pamela Page

home, he told her, ‘If I’d have known that 1 wouldn’t have done what I did.

The report presented to the Firearm Review Board tells of a very differeri con­ versation between the Pages. On y, September 4, 1992 Mr. Page called Mrs, Page and told her that he had obtained two attorneys to fight her. He was going buy a judge and that she was going to pay.

He told her that she would die."

That evening, Branch and Mrs. Page took the children to a performance of Sesame Street Live. While they were gone, according to the police report, Mr. Page left obscene messages on Det. Branch s answering machine ... [the tape] was recorded over later.” According to the Page estate’s lawsuit, “A message on the answering machine indicated that Greg Page was upset that Larry Branch had been involved with the Sesame Street Live outing.”

After eveiyone had gone to sleep, accord­ ing to the police report, “Mr. Page called the Branch resi­ dence and ‘cussed out’ Larry Branch. He then called and accused Mrs. Page of sleeping with Det. Branch. He told her that she will pay for this, that the shit was just starting. The phone rang two more times but they did not answer the phone.

Larry Branch took the phone off the hook and everyone went back to sleep."

In fact, Branch unplugged all the phones in his house. He radioed JSO headquarters to say that he was having problems with his phone and that the dis­ patcher should page him if he were need­ ed. According to the Page estate’s lawsuit Branch recognized that just getting a ring on the phone but not being able to get I

for a man that he says had threatened kill him? at0 Phillips, with the State Attorney’s off,said, “It kind of indicates not very n00f| judgment if you're going to open the door • On the other hand, Phillips said, “H„, entitled to open the door if he wants ton even if it’s stupid. ... You can’t prosecute somebody because of poor judgment” Nevertheless, he said, “If you were going t0 make a case that he murdered them, that would be one of the things you would pm on your list.”

The Page estate’s lawsuit calls openins the door “a reckless act.”

The suit describes Branch’s front door as “solid wood, equipped with a dead bolt which must be manually unlocked with a key ...” That argues against Branch’s alleged fear that Mabe and Page would kick the door in. A glass panel beside the door “affords a view of whoever is out­ side,” so, if Branch had any doubt who was at his door, he could have looked out the window to check. That argues against Branch’s professed surprise that Page was not alone.

The Page suit alleges that Branch “consciously over a long period of time set up a course of events leading to an unneces­ sary confrontation, which he then used as an excuse to unneces­ sarily use deadly' force and kill Greg Page and James Mabe ... The use of deadly force was clearly excessive, unreasonable, and unnecessaty for either an arrest or detention

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bance put his sewice pistol - a semLnX matic 9mm weapon that holds 17 bullets in his back pocket, then walked to the

and heard the two children terriH and screaming. Pam Page aim D u and him not to open me door ” WaS beSgin8 a According to Bradley’s reoort R.,> u went to the front dooranrt h^n’ Branch for the individual to stay ou^otr

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FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

But the guilt, the suit charges, goes much farther. Branch, the suit charges, was able to do all this “under color of law” because of the JSO s propensity to “exonerate police of use of deadly force via the prior reviews of the Firearms Review Board.”

Noting that “at least 25 fatal shootings

by JSO deputies were reviewed from 198b through 1991 and the board consistently “recommended no further action,” both the Mabe and Page estates charge that past wrongful shootings have gone unpunished and have been covered up, which “encouraged police officers to believe that improper shootings were permissible, a plain English, the suits allege that the Lio of Jacksonville and the JSO have given offi­ cers a license to kill. The suits also attacK Firearms Review Board procedures whic rely almost completely on the word of J officers involved and the JSO’s hab't issuing "public statements exonerating o’ cers involved in such incidents prior to completion of investigation.” The suits a H label JSO training “grossly inadequat , echoing one of the conclusions of a 'ece

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ceis, the killings of Page and Mabe come up. The shootings are described gun battle situation” even though ’ was only one gun and it was a veiy 0 e sided battle. The range master bring , case up not because of the legal and n 0 issues involved. He's concerned that, Branch shot two unarmed men a to

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13 times, Branch’s gun jammed. than $20,000 in credit card debt. Branch Bad loading technique, the range mas­ reported no checking or savings accounts ter said. and only $30 cash on hand.

The range master asked one class Among the other listings: “Why did the public not understand about • $3,000 owed on a hot tub that he lists the Larry Branch shooting?" with a value of $500.

The response was, “Because he was a ° $1,700 owed on a lawn mower that police officer.” he lists with a value of $200.

So where does the story stand? “ $1,100 owed on a video camera that The Mabe estate’s lawsuit in the state he lists with a value of $ 100. courts — claiming wrongful death and vio­ • $1,750 owed on jewelry. lation of Mabe’s civil rights — doesn’t have Among his assets: a trial date yet.

• Nine guns with a total listed value of The Page estate’s federal suit — making $300 — less than $34 each. essentially the same claims for Page — • $25 worth of clothing. does. It’s March 6, 1995. If the estate wins, Unless the Page and Mabe estates can the beneficiaries will be Page’s sons — get their claims against Branch exempted, JLewis Gregory Page Jr. and Gregory Lewis bankruptcy will allow Branch to avoid any Page — and Pampla Pamela, Paop Page’cs wife wife. paOA Jr. Ir personal financial liability that might arise The local FBI office’s investigation of from the lawsuits. the killings is closed. The results have As this story has dragged on through been passed on to the Justice Department. the legal system, a number of theories “I call Washington all the time,” Catherine about what really happened have flourTesta, Mabe’s sister they never eiefor said, coizi “andished. perhapS Mabe ran across the street tell us anything.” Apparently, the case has for help. Maybe Page and Mabe were been assigned, then reassigned, then reas­ never in the house. Maybe there was more signed again. The last lawyer attached to than one shooter. Maybe Branch didn’t the case, according to the Justice shoot anybody. Cover-up theories. was Nelson Thayer.

Thayer _Department, . .

Conspiracy theories. More theories are .1 - i Armu:it—_ recently said, “This is_ an ongoing investigacoming all the time. ] --------------. _ tion as far as I know. ...

I can ’ t even . . ------- > - -----r ----Nineteen months after the killings, it remember if it’s still my case.” looks as though the grand jury report may A Justice Department spokesman later have been prophetic “"no ..j one knows nor confirmed that it is an ongoing case, but will —anyone ------ ever know exactly what hap­ refused to say who has been assigned to pened that night.” As Phillips said, “The handle it. only two people who could testify different­ Branch, who - through a JSO ly than what we have are dead.” spokesman — declined to be interviewed But this story doesn’t have an endino for this article, has filed for bankruptcy. He yet. lists the Page and Mabe estates as potential "We just have to hope and be patient," Testa said. ”1 hope we get justice in the creditors. , „ Among his liabilities, Branch lists more end.”

Sal. April 9«9-1

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LISA KELLY

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Call for appointment 641-3871 ___ __________.

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8TH ANNUAL

Florida First Coast Writers' Festival April 8-9,1994 FLORIDA COMMUNITY COLLEGE AT JACKSONVILLE KENTCAMPUS

/ \ Alan Dean Foster jMa Ted Stetson David Poyer FmtumHRsrerwsr Yvonne Sapla Ricia Mainhardt Gary Roen Kathy Hassall

Elisabeth Graves

Jay Huebner Kevin Robinson

Mary Jane Ryals Michael Seidman

Michael Trammell

Freelancing, Science Fiction, Novels, Poetry, Horror, ,

-- -------------- , ..zv..,, IX'

Mystery, Publishing, Articles, Television

Crackercon 3 also at Kent April 8-10 Science Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, Gaming Convention For further Info. Contact Mark Hutchinson at (904) 642-7807

Space is limited to 300 participants Registration begins at 8:00 am FCCJ - Kent Campus 3939 Roosevelt Blvd., Box 109 Jacksonville, FL 32205 (904)381-3620 FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994 <£>

I

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On The Biverlroni This weekend, stop into any Riverfront venue to 9®* Y®®, ' ®°0<* *Or savings ^01 fcfr- members. After you've vislted 'U$* *,V® *'™4ront

pegostop to win ©ur $ 13 @@© Treasure Ghest.

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for the grand prize, we'll get y@u another Passpwf rsgutiG’ sra7©y. the savings... you can enter as many times as you want.

mere s no limit to

Experience the area's finest dining and nightlife and see what you've been

MDSsirog.

€©m® boslk to the 'Front.

This weekend's orthbank Activities

H.

Hogan Street Stage

Northbank Pavillion

Mimes, jugglers, storytellers, dancers, sideshows 4/9 The George Aspinoll Band, 11:00 - 4:00 Brian Austin Green, 4:30 - 9:00 4/10 Pili Pili, 12:00-6:00

4/9

4/10

Pretty Boy Freud, 11:00 - 4:00 Talisman, 4:30 - 9:00 Blessing of the Fleet, 1:00 St. Johns River City Band, 2:00 Beaches Preservation Swing Band, 3:00

Riverwalk

4/9 &10 Feast & Fest - Lots of exciting food from the area's finest restaurants 4/9 Northbank Riverfront Park opening, 12:00

Anabelle Lee

4/9 &10 Free Paddleboat Rides

Florida Theatre

4/9

«i veiiirmit |A(USIIVVIII!

PASS POUT s

mis weetend's This weekend's ' : outhbank Activities

Museum of Science & History

The Brady Bunch, 8:00 1/2-price drinks, $5 off t-shirts, $2.50 off mugs

Juliette's at the Omni

Sunday Jazz Brunch, 7:00 -11:00

Crawdaddy's

The Jacksonville Landing

4/8 4/9

Rlver City Brewing Company

4/10

Gary Starling, 7:00-11:00 Live entertainment all day, including: FCCJ Fashion Show, 12:00 COOL-FM Contest, 2:00 Reunion, 5:30 - 9:30 Jazz, 12:30 - 2:30 & 4:30 - 6:00 Dance, 2:30 - 4:00

-1

\

4/9

Star Stealers, 11.00 & 3:00 With Stars In Their Eyes, 1.00&4.30

4/10

Star Stealers, 1:30 & 4:30 _ 3:00 With Stars In Their Eyes, 3:.

4/9

Latin Night with Angelo Connection, 9:00

Marina St. Johns

4/8 V9 4/10

Pretty Boy Freud, 8:00 -12:00 Mike Shackleford, 8:00-12:00 Deck Party w/ Third Light, 2:00

4/9 & 10 $1 Jaguarifas and other specialsal

4/9

Schooner's Lounge Leukemia Society Chili Cook-Oft, 1:00-4:00

in9 July 1,1994.

2 for 1 RIVERFRONT RUMRUNNERS Friday & Saturday 7-10pm

Riverfront Fun Friday, April 8 Coast 102.9 Jacksonville Jazz Series

1

o

-O—O;

Saturday, April 9 All Day Music & Fun. 5:30 pm - Reunion

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Get Your Free Riverfront Passport at Juliette's Valid For These Specials...

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$2 OFF SUNDAY JAZZ BRUNCH

Sunday, April 10 More All Day Fun 4:30 pm - Swing Shift

Omni ^Jacksonville Hotel

10:30a - 2pm VAUD 4/10/94 ONLY

On the Riverfront. 245 Water Street. 355-7118

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(Not valid during Happy Hour)

Five Star Dining On The Riverfront

Live Entertainment

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4/8 - Pretty Boy Freud 8:00 - 12:00

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$1 Jaguaritas

4/9 - Mike Shackleford 8:00 - 12:00

and other drink specials throughout each day

4/10 - Deck Party w/Third Light 2:00 - 6:00

GALLEY fc TAVERN

\

Lobbyside at: Marina Hotel & Convention Center at St. Johns Place

$1 Off Hand-crafted Beer

PIWCITY

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! $

On die Southbank Riverfront at Prudential Drive

\

SiVCIlirOM Members

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2. Bass River Taxi 3. Ciao Gianni Cucos Border Cafe Fat Tuesday Hooters Johnny Rockets Hie Jacksonville Landing —Silver Spoon

Si. JoL River 7 9

1 • Anabelle Lee

□d1

mwiliin

Z

4. Crawdaddy's 5. Florida Theatre 6. Marina St. Johns Hotel 7. Museum of Science & History 8. Omni Jacksonville Hotel 9. River City Brewing Company 10. S & S Marine Taxi o Water Taxi Ports

Leix,,!

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Ths Week

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Specializing in Designer Labels & Your Favorite Name Brands

Where to go- What to see.

In New & Gently Worn Ladies Apparel

Great Selection of St. John Knits Under $200 - -

Got Mem Blues?

The surf. The sun. The sound of the blues. What else could you possibly need this weekend? The fourth annual Springing the Blues Festival features a star-studded list of blues artists from f Snooky Prior to Jimmy Thackery & The Drivers. Other activities ;

Spring & Summer Fashions Arriving Daily

249-4768

“The Courtyard" 630 Soufh 3rd St., Jacksonville Beach Hours: Monday-Saturday 10-5

include: the third annual Blues Barbecue Cook-Off, scrumptious Florida seafood and more than 100 exhibits of arts, crafts, antiques and collectibles. The festival is at the Oceanfront Seawalk Plaza, Jacksonville Beach. The Blues 5K Beach Run gets under way April 9 at noon and the music plays April 9 from noon to 11 p.m. and April 10 from noon to 6 p.m.

Admission is free. Call 249-3972 or 1-800BLUE0I2 for additional information.

Have more fun at home!

I I

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Largest selection of futon furniture in N.E. Florida

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(moonJTRUCK fUTOft fURRITURC 434 N. 3rd St. Jax Beach

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The Most

Delicious Things Happen

Phy Me S©me Mountain Mteoc

When You Dine At The WAVES!

They call their sound folk-rock and newgrass. Based in Southern Vermont, The Stockwell Brothers play music steeped in the folk/bluegrass tradition, flavored with rock, funk and a world-beat sound. If you like folk ballads, mandolin/banjo duets or even stripped down pop/rock tunes, “StoBro" — as they call themselves — are definitely worth checking out. They perform Thursday, April 7 at 8 p.m. at The Bluebird Cafe, 11961 Beach Blvd.

Tickets are $5. Call 565-9209 for more information.

Bike'S Cafe

Mon. 11-3® Tues. - Sun. 11-9 Sun. Brunch 11-2 4255 Al A South • St. Augustine Beach

904/471-7484

MEXI CALI MADNESS EVERY TUES & WED ALL-U-CAN-EAT TACO FEST $6.00-$7.50

<

Pitchers of NEW WEEKEND Killians & Rolling BRUNCH Rock only S5.00 Sat & Sun 10:30-2

.

T©©t Tita Irhrf Stephen Burns, trumpet virtuoso, joins the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra for two concerts. First he joins the JSO for their last Mozart i and More concert of the season. 1 They’ll perform Mozart’s sympho- a ny No. 25 in G minor and Bach’s / Brandenburg Concerto No. 1 A Friday, April 8 at 8 p.m. in the B Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth B St. Tickets are $15-$27. He’ll B also play with the JSO for the |H final concert in the SunBank 1B St. Augustine Concert Series B Saturday, April 9 at 8 p.m. in B the Flagler College Auditor- A® ium, 14 Granada St. Tickets gjfi are $12. Call 354-5547 for B more details.

Club Cues Longineu Parsons puckers up for his trumpet April 8 & 9 at Cattails Cafe and Manatee Lounge, 11700 San Jose Blvd. 262-2120.

249-9270 319 S 23rd Ave at A1A (.Jax Beach in front of Pablo Plaza)

Pili Pili plays April 7,8 pm at Fat Tuesday, 2 Independent Dr. at the Jacksonville Landing.

Anthrax thrashes with Fight April 6, at The Edge, 845 University Blvd. N. 745-1232.

I <£> FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5. 1994

FOOTWEAR WITH GUTS for people with brains • © i-'-^ [. .

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I

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Right,

The Blues Fest '

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M ©resit Tirae Y©u Ca&ii Wm al'

Comes to the II aboard the La Cruise Casino. The First Coast’s

Taproom!

newest and most exciting attraction with great food, a live band and a fully equipped

Las Vegas-style CASINO! Whether you take our day or

evening cruise, it will be a fivehour experience you will long remember.

Dine at the La Cruise restau­ SARASOTA SLIM FRL APRIL8

rant, located next to the

Historic Mayport Ferry, before

departure or enjoy a sandwich

f'-'V T _ BUDDY FLETT &THE BLUE BIRDS SUN. APRIL 10 martin SIMPSON

tickets are only $14. Call about the sailing schedule

CATHY PONTON KING

THURS. APRIL 7

and make your reservations today.

!&[£> ITaiip Room!: 7 ^7x1° 2 4 | - 7 8 7

..

8T, F

and salad at the Ship’s deli.

Corporate parties are welcomed with Specia| group incentives. Individual

°_R_±Y

fn Ragtime Tavern

I -2—-

1-800-725-1778 « 904-241-7200 207 Atlantic Blvd.

Atlantic Beach

Ships Registry Panama

FOJO WEEKLY APRIL 5. 1994 <£>

Lesfie NgelsendrePu^saaseL^.nFranCkaDereb^iHn

13 Unique Reasons to go North (but not too far north)

im ft'uWw iHW

This Week calendar

II s t i n g s

MOVIES_________________ ___ ★ Absolutely awful. Avoid at all costs. ★★ Pretty bad, though not truly horrible. *** Average. Not too bad, not too good. **** Above average. Highly recommended.

Excellent. Not to be missed.

Calendar compiled by Tanuja Mehrotra. Movie cap­ sules compiled by Pat McLeod.

NOW SHOWING___________ 1.

AMELIA BEACHWEAR Ltd. Ladies Swimwear • Resortwear

261-4646

2.

FANTASTIC FUDGE and DELI Sandwiches • Freshbaked Items • Coffee • Candy • Ice Cream • Yogurt

sp ring follow-up to Naked Gun 2 1/2, tK?.W grossing movie ever made with a fraction in tft'' Priscillai Presley, O.J- Simpson and Anna Nicole Sm?K -iiqn star. Rated PG-13.

ON DEADLY GROUND. Pin-up/action-hero Sfm, Seagal directs and stars as Forest Taft, a hero S'" Environmental conscience, who battles a hunn?an

ABOVE THE RIM. It’s been called a basketball action film, but it’s also about two men, Tupac Shakur from Poetic Justice and Leon from Cool Runnings, using the game to work through their internal conflicts. Rated R. ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE. Jim Carrey (from Fox's In Living Color) stars as Ace Ventura, an uncon­ ventional pet detective who’s snooping for the Miami Dolphins’ missing mascot, Snowflake. Rated PG-13.

ANGIE. Academy Award winner Geena Davis stars as — you guessed it — Angie, who hails from Bensonhurst's Italian neighborhood. Despite the advice and criticism from family and friends, she learns

sequel to The Mighty

coach GoSo^Bombay

who’needs to^um hte once lrLnosmeAanngde::rL^^?rrlhX°e Gretstry cameo appearance. Rated PG. Clifford, a 10 yearCLIFFORD. Martin shorth|s“aarcl],„Uncle Martin, °!adyedybyWhCtarle7Gr9odmS gatty. Mary Steenburgen

the friendship of Cheng Dia',,A9>n

gDanning 50 years

they get to know and like each other andI then she s

261-9440 3.

ALEXANDERS Books • Cards • Fine Papers

277-2040

4.

CAROL’S COLLECTION Home Accessories & Gifts

261-5241

5.

AMELIA LIQUORS SOUTH Liquors • Fine Wines

261-7701

6.

I-FXACT

HERON’S SPORTSWEAR, INC. Women's & Men's - Polo/Ralph Lauren

261-3677

7.

SHOES ETC. Fine Shoes & Accessories For Ladies and Men

261-7889

8.

9.

William (Christian Slater) in Jimmy Hollywood.

COTTON TOPS T-Shirts & Sweatshirts 277-4426

to take responsibility for herself and her new baby. A unique kitchen-sink comedy directed by Martha Coolidge. It also stars Stephen Rea (The Crying Game). Rated R. D2: THE MIGHTY DUCKS. A live-action comedy

ART AND SOUL

|T H E A T E R S

Fine and Functional Art

277-4009

10.

ONCE UPON A TIME Classic Toys

277-3043

11.

THE PLANTATION SHOP Fine Gifts & Antiques

261-2030

12.

THE SOUTHERN TIP Innovative Cuisine

261-6184 13.

THE RAINFOREST Sportswear and Accessories

AVONDALE/RIVERSIDE Normandy Twins 5129 Normand Blvd.

781-2331 St Johns 6 Roosevelt St Johns Ave. 388-9755 Cedar Hills Twin 37994 Blanding Blvd.

744-9696 Murray Hill 932 Edgewood Ave. 388-3179

Movies at Orange Park 8635 Blanding Blvd.

778-4188

ARLINGTON Regency Mall 8 Outside Regency Mall

SOUTHSIDE Son Marco Theatre 1996 San Marco Blvd.

396-4845

723- 5699 Gazebo Theater 5566 Fort Caroline Rd 744-6004 Movies ot Regency 9333-Atlantic Blvd.

724- 7500 Regency Mall 6 725- 6666

277-8990 WESTSIDE Litchfield Theatres 6681 103rd St. 779-6466

PALMETTO WALK

A Shopping Village 2 1/2 Miles North of Amelia Island Plantation FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5.1994

ORANGE PARK Orange Park Mall 5 264-2555

BEACHES Neptune 3 1300Atlantic Blvd.

246-6314 Pablo 5 Pablo Shopping Center 246-8587 Royal Palm 751 Atlantic Blvd.

246-2030

BAYMEADOWS/ MANDARIN Baymeadows 8 Cinemas 8552 Baymeadows Rd. 739-0554 Movies at Mandarin Landing 10601 San Jose Blvd.

262-9884 Mandarin Corners 6 10993 San Jose Blvd.

262-3118

ST. AUGUSTINE

Mall 6 Theatres 2121 Ponce de Leon 797-5528

movie

THi^HnoauSEtOFns^RI^S/?/enSt,f'h lilm ^d G® S crificall^accla^e^S m°St

Irons and Glenn Close. Based on lsabe7AUpn^y

THE HU%e«

,d

sound funky? The Cohen Brother matere o(eDal°-ne

»oi jaMMY"eH®OLaLYWOOD’aDrrectdri^h^a 6 n^^6nn^er

newspape^ man Trying to Xid/hTtime

ino to get a scoop on a huge story before the Ism. papers jjet it. Ron Howard directs this film and co-S Glenn Close, Robert Duvall and Randy Quaid. Ra^

PHILADELPHIA. **** Tom Hanks plays an Aint infected gay lawyer who seeks the services of a hornJ phobic attorney (Denzel Washington) to represent Nm In a discrimination suit against a prestigious law firm headed by Jason Robards. A movie that pleads as elo. quently for tolerance and compassion as it inveiota against discrimination, Philadelphia is much stronoer on character than plot, especially when it comes to the courtroom scenes. Hanks is terrific in an Oscar-winning role, but Denzel Washington is every bit as convincing and appealing. Pretty obvious in its message" Philadelphia is also nonetheless heartfelt and effective' Most definitely, it is a movie for today. Rated PG-13 ' THE PIANO. ***** Writer/direotor Jane Campion's haunting, magical movie about a mute woman (Hollv Hunter) in an arranged marriage to a New Zealand set­ tler (Sam Neill) in the 1850's lives up to all its hype.

Harvey Keitel plays her unexpected lover, and 9-ysarold Anna Paquin is her daughter. Hunter has been receiving all the awards, and deservedly so, but her co-stars are terrific as well. The Piano is a symphony of striking details and unusual images that are often as haunting as they are beautiful.

THE REF. Dennis Leary stars as a hapless jewel thief who kidnaps a bickering married couple on Christmas Eve and ends up becoming a hostage himself in the couple's dysfunctional home. He's forced to play refer­ ee to the family’s squabbling. Rated R. SCHINDLER’S LIST. Perhaps the most powerful film ever made as well as one of the very best. Shooting in striking black-and-white, director Stephen Spielberg turns to the Holocaust for his mas­ terpiece and the true story of Oskar Schindler (Liam Neeson), a Nazi war profiteer who eventually saved the lives of more than 1,100 Jews at the risk of his own. Epic in scope but intimate and personal in its characterizations, Schindler’s List is an unforgettable movie experience. The subject is most important, and Spielberg renders it masterfully. Rated R. THREESOME. Three college kids — two guys and one gal — living together, eating together and sleeping together. Oh, they attend classes every once in awhile too. Opens April 8. Rated R. THE SIRENS. See Pat McLeod’s review p 22.

WHAT’S EATING GILBERT GRAPE. ***** To more cautious moviegoers, this film might sound like a ploy for Smuckers. Witty, subtle, offbeat and moving, Gilbert Grape will appeal to those who like films about characters instead of caricatures. Odd and eccentric as most of this movie’s people are, they are also achingly, hilariously, touchingly real. Blessed with mar­ velous acting by its ensemble cast (Johnny Depp.

Mary Steenburgen and Juliette Lewis) and an absolutely stunning, oscar-nominated performance by Leonardo DiCaprio, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape puls­ es with genuine life both happy and sad. PG-13.

OTHER FILMS_____________ FILM INSTITUTE SERIES. The series presents films Tee. 7:30 pm at FCCJ Kent Campus. 3939 Rooseve# Blvd, and Wed, 6 pm and 8 pm, at Jacksonville Art Museum, 4160 Boulevard Center. Season tickets $25 (10 films.) 393-9471. • The Panama Deception: A depiction of the events of the US invasion of Panama in 1989, April 5. The Last Days of Chez Nous: A drama tracing the tangled relationship between a successful Aprifl'i^&i^600^ ^us^anc^ anc* ^er y°un9er sister'

FILMS. Main Library of the Jacksonville Public Libraries, offers free travel films every Wed au pm and 6:45 pm in the second floor auditorium. 122 N. Ocean St. 630-2665. • Treasure Chamber Germany and Magic Eight. April 6. People of the Caribbean ana Saint Maarten, April 13.

(Rainman and Dineq A film abo'u^rui3’’7 Levir|son

THEATRE____________ ______ shot movie star. His girlfriend I nr^ 5'0 be a hot-

Sy'l ^yh«Sa;° lightn^ng^ack1

is;» also slar. Rated R.

pdai2u Ral“R

1 wanders

9 10 and Cuba Gooding

dln»rah»B ,hopes of a misbegotten Broadway actor

The Clevetand Mdian^sSamb^to15^11 mo''ie? (yawn) ^championship. Charlie She)® nation: M°0mNBKeECYn^0a^k k°rflha ^ Ra^ PG5" a"d

?ay)aboal a 9irl who adopts a

(or s° 'hey

watchnH

y ,rom the '70s takes the stage. Youw

St.'; sy^a.'a^-ioal9, and 30 at 8 Pm. 222 North First ORIGINAL ONE ACT<x th

4 reasons to shop at On The Boulevard

ductions will be nrpconioj^es®_student-directed pro-

AuWum8^

wSspwefe.

’ 1. Great wines and beers from all over the world.

2. Ready to heat & eat dinners.

3. Fresh breads 4. and desserts

1 V

pm (buffet begfn^'at 1^30 »P^°Enanc„es Sat' 1:15

begins at 12:15 pm) 12Oodte):BNdn641-P121(2bU"e'

AUDITIONS and contests

People Are Starting To Talk Great Prime Rib

/All > Weekend \ Long>

Buy one, get the next for .half price/

Stop in soon to see why people call us an “oasis in the desert.” possible rVti K.P1 8' 7 P"! and April 9. 2 pm with a

bn The ou leva rd

|Xbien,^^oaoCL%nd^R^ 12°62295P0m0

fcB°okSo ?mPh\ C0NfEST- Grandparents for Peace looking for photographs for an exhibit at 39 Cordova n»v of WorW Childrens Day/Earth

£iofp?^

awarded at an open house at the gallery, April 17, 5 pm-7 pm. Entry fee: $5 per photo, limit 2, size 5x7. entry terms and fee may be sent to the Gallery, 39

CHARITY PROJECT AWARD. The Meninak Club of Jacksonville is accepting applications for a $25,000 grant to be awarded to a charity organization in the Duval County area that serves underprivileged or handicapped children and must be used for capital improvement. Call the Meninak Club Office at SOOSOSO to obtain an application. The deadline is April 15.

DANCE__________________ AN EVENING OF BALLET. International ballet soloists Dagmar Moradillo, Roberto Almaguer and Ariel Serrano join acclaimed choreographer Alberto Alonso in presenting II Act of Giselle, “Corsaire Pas De Deux."

April, 9 at 7:30 pm at Landmark Middle High School Auditorium, Kernan Rd. near Atlantic Blvd. Tickets are $10 and $5. 646-4075.

SPRING DANCE CONCERT. Jacksonville University dance students present a night of ballet, modem and jazz performances April 15-16, 8 pm and April 17, 2 pm in the Swisher Auditorium. Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd., N. Tickets are $7 and $5. 7457354.

VENEZIA. An original ballet choreographed by Anne Marie Bouygues of the French School of Ballet, Inc. It’s a mosaic of music and movement that brings Italy’s 16th century Baroque era to life. April 15, 8 pm in The Florida Theater, 128 E. Forsyth St. Tickets are $13.50$16.50. 355-ARTS.

2 4 6 ’ 0 0 5 6 403 Atlantic Blvd 0 Atlantic Beach

FCONOMIC ROUNDTABLE. Representative Tillie K.

Jacksonville University. Tickets are S9 and S6. 745^GRASS

h faPi?'fh?ouohout the weekend. Acts like Papa Joe and

saaasxss with Graves. 13 otne

FCCJ Ken( CampUS.

g

LET US CATER YOUR NEXT PARTY

People are talking about Prime Rib Weekends at Dockside Jaguars Den. If you buy one of our hearty prime rib dinners, the second is half price.

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Chiropractors are helping millions of people... people just like you. Don t delay, call us today.

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HAPPENINGS_____________ JACKSONVILLE SPRING FAIR. This fair isn't foul. It's fun. You’ll find a fems wheel and other rides plus con­ tinuous shows with clowns, magic and mystery.

Presented by WJCT through April 10. Gates open at 5 pm on the Riverfront in Metropolitan Park. $1.50-$2.50.

353-7770.

BOOK READINGS AND SIGNINGS. News of the Weird columnist Chuck Shepherd autographs his latest book, America’s Least Competent Criminals, April 5, noon-1:30 pm at White’s Bookstore, Deerwood Village Mall, 9978-3 Baymeadows Rd. 645-8518. • Author Mark Baker, known for his book What Men Really Think reads portions from his new book, SEX LIVES, A Sexual Self-Portrait of America. The book is written from interviews with 100 people from all over the coun­ try. He reads April 5 at 8 pm at the Book Mark, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-9026. • Mystery nov­ elist Kevin Robinson autographs his three Orlando-set mysteries featuring his wheelchair bound paraplegic ioumalist/deteclive Stick Foster. April 7, from 7 pm to 9 pm at the Little Professor Book Center, 11250 Old St. Audustine Rd. 260-3977.

FOLIO WEEKLY CELEBRATES. In honor of Folio Weekly’s seventh anniversary, Chuck Shepherd, News of the Weird columnist, will speak April 5, 7 pm at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd. $5. 260-

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SUN SAFETY- PROTECTING YOUR SKIN Join Orange Park Medical Center and area dermatologists as they offer a free skin cancer screening and a panel presentation on protecting your skin from the harmful effects of the sun.

This program is free and open to the public. Reservations are encouraged. Wednesday, April 21

“GETTING MORE FROM LIFE” A1/2 day annual event just for women will feature a keynote speaker on the title subject and three different breakout sessions covering a range of topics of interest to today's women.

A lovely luncheon will be served at which time we will enjoy some tearoom modeling of the latest summer fashions. Tickets for this event will be S12.00, but we do have an “Early Bird” special for S9.00. So call now to reserve your seat, as space is limited. Saturday, May 21

Longineu Parsons

TOTSAVER The six hour Pediatric Basic Life Support class covers infant and/or child obstructed airway, CPR and child safety. This class is geared to individuals with exclusive interest in pediatrics; i.e. child care workers, etc. Reservations necessary. S30.00 Saturday, April 9

Friday & Saturday 8:30 pm-11:30 pm

BABYSITTING CLASS This popular class Is designed for young people aged 10-14 who are charged with caring for small children. This 4 hour workshop will cover emergency situations for dealing with problem children and successful entertainment will be provided. S10.00 Reservation necessary. Saturday, April 30

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ical assets of its stars, however H ad D.H. Lawrence been a filmMacPherson, for instance, proves to be a I___ 11 maker, he might very well have charming and capable actress as well as a j come up with something like stunning model. Fitzgerald, last seen in LI U Sirens. Like so many Hear My Song, once again shows a deft Laurentian stories, the new movie deals touch for comedy as well as drama. Her directly with the conflict between conven­ character is the central one in Sirens, and tional morality and sexual freedom, tweak­ ing the former while avidly embracing the latter. Unlike the typical Lawrence tale, however, Sirens also exhibits a delicious sense of humor.

The stoiy centers on a young Anglican priest and his wife, Tony and Estella Campion (Hugh Grant and Tara Fitzgerald), freshly arrived in Australia to take up post at his new church. On the way there, Tony has been asked by his bishop to stop over at the estate of Norman Lindsay (Sam Neill), a brash and controversial painter whose explicit works at a major international exhi­ bition have created an uproar.

Particularly offensive to the bishop and his flock is a large canvas called "The Crucified Venus” which depicts the nude goddess of love nailed to the cross under the gloating, jeering eyes of the popu­ lace. Father Campion’s assignment is to talk Lindsay into withdrawing the painting in question.

Like innocents out of a child’s storybook (he calls her Pooh, she calls him Piglet), Tony and Estella soon find themselves immersed in another world alto__ gether. Lindsay’s house is set in a Estella Campion (Tara Fitzqerald) one of the few lush and pnmit.ve Eden, teeming women in Sirens you'll see fully ' ' clothed ' on a reguwith wild and exotic animals and lar basis overcharged with erotic under­ currents. Two of the artist’s three models she completely wins the viewers’ sympa­ (Elie Macpherson and Kate Fischer) thies as well as their chuckles. delight in shocking the staid guests with Finally, Hugh Grant (Maurice and their blatant sexuality. The third (Portia de Remains of the Day) is wonderful as the Rossi) claims to be above such carnal young minister whose faith and naivete are concerns, but she’s clearly just an ingenuon equal par. For the movie to work, Father comT' whose day (and man) are soon to Campion has to be more than a buffoon.

Thankfully, Hugh Grant invests the charac­ ,. J.ony Pretty wel1 manages to fend off ter with real dignity as well as corned}’. the temptations of this gorgeous fleshv In his last film, Wide Sargasso Sea, paradise, but his wife finds8 herse! suc­ writer/director John Duignan examined cumbing more and more to the sirens’ lust and passion in the tropics, courtesy of S eVeu Ually Singin8 iust a bit in mne authoi Jean Rhys’ prequel (of sorts) to Jane wi h them herself. Most viewers, I suspect Eyre. Heavy on both drama and sex, the will scarcely blame her. These sirens; Fanrt movie nevertheless lacked the verve and the movie too) are pretty hard to resist ugh spirits which marked Duignan’s first The film has already garnered a fair vo efforts about coming-of-age, The Year Orting 0990)°^ (1987) ‘‘S MacPherson who struts he^erm0del assets on the screen for all to seeCmri'118 Duignan’s new movie may not herald any new inroads in philosophical or social Oieoty, but Sirens is still a literate and erotic

4

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,,, uOt McLeod reviews movies for Thekef}d (Fr‘day 9 a.m.-lO a.m.) and the „“'s,-day edition of 90 in the Shade (4 cohosts To The Movies 1'zn Ray Hickman (Saturday 12:30 p.m-‘■3° p.m.), an on Stereo 90.

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In honor of Folio Weekly’s Seventh Anniversary Celebration, Chuck Shepherd, News of the Weird colum­ nist speaks Tuesday, April 5,7 p.m. at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd. Tickets are $5. We've got cool tshirts too! For more information, give us a ring at 260-9770.

Minorcans who settled in St. Augustine. An afternoon celebration and entertainment at the Uambias House on April 12. 692-1032.

JACKSONVILLE TEA PARTY. The Libertarian Party of Duval County hosts its second annual tax protest.

Speeches by Richard Vajs, a candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives, District 1, and Paul Crumrine, a candidate for the Florida House of Representatives, District 49, and Joe Ripley, vice-pres­ ident of the Concerned Taxpayers of Duval County.

They even have an official tea chest filled with environ­ mentally sound fish food (symbolic of tea) to throw into the water just as our forefathers dumped tea in Boston.

April 15 at 11:30 am and 5:30 pm at the Navy Memorial on the Riverwalk (next to the Main Street Bridge and Chart House Restaurant).

MARYLIN KRYSL READS. An author of five books of poetry and two collections of short stories, her work has appeared in The Atlantic. The Nation and The New Republic. She’s also the recipient of such awards as the O. Henry Prize and the Pushcart Prize. Krysl reads from her fiction and poetry April 15, 8 pm in Building 15 Room 1303 at the University of North Florida, 4567 St.'Johns Bluff Rd. S. 646-2580.

CAJUN CRAWFISH FESTIVAL. The Crawfishmans 5th Annual Festival features lots of cajun culture and crawfish cuisine. There are crawfish eating and cos­ tume contests, musical entertainment like the Zydeco Playboys and the River City Rhythm Kings and plenty of clogging for all to enjoy! April 15 from 6 pm to 10 om April 16 from noon to 10 pm and April 17 from noon to 7 pm. All events take place at the Jacksonville Beach Seawalk Pavillion. For festival specifics and ANTIQUECaSHOW6AN4D SALE. The Woman's Club of

Jacksonville are hosting their 10th annual show and sale Antique dealers from throughout the Southeast Srilldisplay their wares April 15-16 10' 3^^ and April 17 from 12 pm-5 pm. 861 Hiversiae Mve. ooo ANNUAL day FOR DARE. KIDSPORTS along with

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April 5 at 3 pm. They play Central Florida Community College, April 9 at noon.

LOCAL COLLEGE SOFTBALL (WOMEN’S). FCCJ plays all home games at FCCJ North Campus, 4501 Capper Rd.; free admission. 632-3269. • FCCJ plays Santa Fe Community College, April 7 at 3 pm LOCAL COLLEGE TENNIS (WOMEN’S). FCCJ plays all home matches at FCCJ South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd.; free admission. 646-2306. • The last home match for the team is April 19 when they face Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College at 2 pm.

1994 SPRING BEACHES RUN SERIES. The Blues Festival 5K Beach Run & Walk: 3.1 mile course starts April 9, noon at The Crab Pot/Oceanwalk. Part of the Springing the Blues Festival. • The Spring Beaches Run: 5 mile run and walk that takes place April 16 at 5:30 pm at the Seawalk Plaza. Part of the Crawfish Festival. • Realtor’s BeachFest 5 K Run and Walk: 3.1 mile course begins April 23, 6:30 am at the Seawalk Plaza, Race Day packet pick-up and registration for all three races is at The Crab Pot, 12 N. First St. For addi­ tional entry forms and more details, 270-1107.

A MORNING FOR WOMEN ONLY. Lakeshore Schwinn sponsors a morning ride for beginners, inter­ mediate and advanced riders. A discussion will follow with panelists specializing in health and bike touring and bike safety. April 9, 9:15 am, 2108 Blanding Blvd.

384-7945.

TREAD, THE MOVIE. It’s the first ever feature length film on mountain biking with spectacular cinematogra­ phy. Mountain bike legends Hans Rev and Greg Herbold guide the viewer through world-wide rides.

Their social commentary and bike slang make it an "MTV Sports Meets Spinal Tap" flick. April 9, 5 p.m at The Murray Hill Theater, 932 S. Edgewood Ave. 3880612.

JAX RACEWAY. Granger Select 130. 25 Late Models, 25 Grand Americans, 50 Hobby Stocks, 30 Pure Stocks, April 9. NHRA sanctioned drag strip gates open every Fri at 6 pm. $8. • Oval track racing every Sat, 6 pm. S3-S10. Located at the exit #128 off I-95 at Pecan Park Rd. 757-5425.

WORLD CUP ‘94. The World Cup soccer exhibition match between Team USA and Moldova, a Russian team. April 16, 7:30'pm at Wolfson Park, Samuel W Wolfson Ball Park. $13 50-$36. 630-4087.

AW SHUCKS INVITATIONAL GOLF TOURNAMENT. This second annual tournament benefits the Leukemia Society. A morning and afternoon shotgun start with a format of Captain’s Choice (scramble). Corporate sponsorship packet is $650. Individual sponsorship packages are $125. April 18 at the Queens Harbor Yacht Club, 13361 Atlantic Blvd. 262-2123.

WAVEMASTERS SURF COMPETITION. A profes­ sionally run competition for amateur surfers in its 11th year, the contest draws entrants from throughout the state. There are seven division from micro-minis to grandmasters. April 30 and May 1, 7:30 am at the Jacksonville Beach Seawalk Pavilion. Call the contest hotline at 241-0822.

WEEKLY BIKE RIDES. Distance bicycle rides spon­ sored by the North Florida Bike Club. ■ Sat Rides: • 7 am from Champion Schwinn, 1025 Arlington Rd. 5-10 miles; 26 miles; 30 miles. 724-4922. • 7 am from Champion Schwinn Cycling & Fitness, 175 Blanding Blvd. 30 miles. 272-9100. • 7 am from Roosevelt Blvd.

Winn Dixie. 25-30 miles. • 7:30 am from Champion Schwinn at the Beaches, 1303 N. Third St. 25 miles.

241-0900. • 7:30 am from Open Road Bicycles, 4466 Hendricks Ave. 50 mile ride. 636-7772. • 8 am from The Bicycle Store, 1871 Wells Rd. 30-40 miles; 60 miles. 278-1150. • 8 am from Woodland Acres Public Health Clinic, 465 Acme St. 565-1038. • 9:15 am from Lake Shore Schwinn, 2108 Blanding Blvd. 15-20 miles.

384-7945. • Sun Rides: From Open Road Bicycles, 4466 Hendricks Ave. 80 miles to Penny Farms. • Mon Rides: From Champion Schwinn, 11447 San Jose Blvd. 30 miles at 20-25 mph pace. 262-5744. • Tue/Thurs Rides: • 4:15 pm from European Street Cafe, 2753 Park St. 20-25 miles. 387-0704.

CANOE RIDES. Blackwater Adventures offers a one day and one night guided trips on several of North Florida’s most pnstine rivers. Let us customize a trip for you and your group's needs. 387-5854.

CLIPPER CITY. Sail the St. Johns River aboard Jacksonville’s top sail schooner that’s 158 feet long and has a 135 foot mast. Public sails every Saturday and Sunday from 2 pm to 4 pm. Adults $5. Children 12 and under free with an adult. Docked just east of the Jacksonville Landing. 398-1819.

STOCK CAR RACING. Take to the oval in six divi­ sions of cars; Late Models, Limited Sportsman, Street Stock, Mini Stock, Rookies and Open Wheel Modified, at the St. Johns County Motorsports Complex, every Sat. • 900 Big Oak Rd., St. Augustine. Gates open at 4 pm, racing starts at 6:45 pm. Tickets are $6-$8. 8252886.

WINDSURFERS. Jacksonville Associated Windsurfers (JAWS) meet the second Wed of each month at 7:30 pm at King's Inn, 8016 Arlington Expwy. 285-9266.

Sb JACKSONVILLE

SWJCT’s ^2nd Annual

Family Fun Fair FAIR! March 31-April IO Metropolitan Park (Across from the Coliseum)

SHOWS DAILY!! ☆ Amazing Mario Magic Show ★ Petting Zoo ★ FOX 30 Funtastic Showboat ★ Blue Bear ☆ Pic N' Save -Keebler Family Center

The ©reoit FomoDy Foitr Continues!

April 5 5pm-12am

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April <5 5pm-12am o o

April 7 5p>m-12am

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April 8 5pm-12am

$1 Admission with 1 can of pet food for Humane Society Target Stores Day- $1 off admission with coupon First half-hour FREE admission! $7.95 Unlimited Rides with coupon

Popeye’s Sr FM 92.7 Night- $1 off ad­ mission with coupon Military Appreciation Night- FREE admission with military ID Date Night- One FREE admission with one paid 7pm-9pm

April 9 l^pm-lam

WAWS Kids’ Club Members FREE admission noon-3pm Come see Safari Sam! Coast 102.9 Coloring Contest in the Family Center Late Night Lunacy! Unlimited rides for $4.95 lOpm-lam

April IO 12pm-lOpm o

Twofer Day! Twofer Day! Admit 1 child FREE with an accompanying adult Last Blast- Unlimited rides $6.95 from 1pm-10pm

KID STUFF_________________ TOT THEATRE. Pandora's Magic Box. April 5, 9, 12, 19, 26, 30. • Mirror Mirror on the Wall, April 6, 13, 16, 20, 27. • Emperor’s New Clothes, April 7, 14, 21, 23, 28. Sponsored by River City Playhouse, Weekday per­ formances at Murray Hill Theatre facility, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., at 10 am. Saturday performances are at 1026 Edgewood Ave. S. at 11 am. $3-$3.50.

388-8830.

JACKSONVILLE CHESS CLUB. They sponsor chess tournaments for students 18 years and under. The next tournament, Jax Scholastic VI, will be in a five-round Swiss-System format with two sections, K-5 and K-12.

Participants should bring chess sets. One hour time limit per game. April 9, 9 am registration at the Jacksonville Chess Club in the Comfort Inn South, 3233 Emerson St. 399-1555.

PROFESSOR CHATS. Vegetarian vampire bunny Bunnicula hosts two Professor Chats storylimes.

Bunnicula comes from James Howe’s Bunnicula.

Howliday Inn, The Celery Stalks At Midnight and Nighty-Nightmare. April 9 from 10 am to 1 pm. Little Professor Book Center, 11250 Old St. Augustine Rd.

Pick up your discount coupons at Popeye’s and Burger King

$2.50 Adult

- ADMISSION $1.50 Kids 5 to 12 FREE 4 & Under

For more information, call 904-353-7770

PIC N’ SME

SWJCT

Milk.

It does a body good.

FOX' =3o:

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994 <£>

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By Carlton Higginbotham

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t’s almost impossible to grow-up in North Florida and not be exposed to bluegrass music. In my case, a Cracker who grew up in the 50s, it |O| 262-0508 ■g was impossible. Between “my no-good unian done left me” drinking music and woman Discover a great new way to have fun and a knee-slappin’ “white lightnin hoe down just can’t help but get the music in I meet new people. Ballroom dancing is ahisboy blood. It’s kind of like a craving for back! Lessons for beginners and experts, BBQ or fried chicken. Now and then you BEST’ ,’JAX. couples and individuals. just gotta have it.

I So where is it? Bluegrass, that is. It We honor all local competitor's coupons. seems like not too long ago if you wanted to hear some good bluegrass ah you had to do was turn around and there it was. 1 ’■ SELF DEFENSE CLASSES i suddenly realized that all of the regular • New and Used CD’s, and LP’s 1 begin April 7 (6 week course) ,1 I spots have dried-up. So, .when given the \^°\/ •Cassettes Concert Shirts job to find out what’s happen­ • Posters AS ALWAYS, YOUR FIRST ing with blue­ We accept trade-ins ■ A PRIVATE LESSON IS FREE! grass these B WAG'S days I turned to $ the one source fl RECORD HOUND 1 knew would MORGRAN PLAZA know, Mike *2177 KINGSLEY AVE. #11 270-0451 | Johnson, who ORANGE PARK 317 10th Ave. N. Jax Bch said; “I really (904) 276-2801 State Reg. # 00107 don’t know, we don’t play out in public much anymore."

So there you have it, the end of the shortest TROPICAL - NOT - TYPICAL story on record. v Fabulous Collection of Swimwear, But then he - .Resortwear and Beach Accessories. said; “But the North Florida ____ _ Bluegrass Pickin and grinnin' at the Association L a ... L L- " L; will. They get together once a month out at the Flamingo Campground. You oughta go out there. In fact, I’ll go with you. Give me a call.’ It sounded like fun and I tucked the L-.-i>. idea away for later retrieval.

-a - J' I reached Bruce Hamilton of the associ­ Sawgrass Village jTielia Island ation, who used to play with Clean Break Ponte Vedra 261-5727 a band of considerable reputation in the 273-0946 area, who told me the monthly meeting was the following weekend. Actually aH weekend, as pickers from near and far gather at the campground in their “recreWOMEN’S CLOTHES, MADE FOR WOMEN’S BODIES, FOR a i°n.a,ve llc es” and hang-out from Friday night through Sunday afternoon. He invitme out. Said they were “having a

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Frances Lynch Hawaiian Transplant Ambassador

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mostly it’s acoustic country featuring some of Jacksonville's better songwriters.

I arrive at the Flamingo Campground, on the corner of Lem Turner and 1-295^ about four in the afternoon, and immedi­ ately run into a group of guys hanging at the back of a pick up getting down on some good ole’ mountain music. From there things just got better.

First, the Flamingo Campground is beautiful. I can’t imagine a more perfect place for a pick-in. Clean and well mani­ cured campsites located on a small lake with a sand beach swimming area. The covered cook-out shed is located on the lake with a large deck out over the water. It was there that 1 ran into Ken Carey, presi-

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dent of the association. If there’s a more enthusiastic supporter of bluegrass in the country, I’d like to meet him. Ken informed me that there are over 300 mem­ bers of the association and that they gath­ er at the campground the third weekend of each month. It’s like a family reunion, only music is the common gene.

Association memberships are only 10 bucks and you get a monthly newsletter that tells you all about local happenings and the more than 60 bluegrass festivals in our area.

After a huge fish dinner, complete with home-made dessert, 1 strolled through the campground, pausing at different places and simply enjoyed some really good music among some really good people.

An afternoon and evening well spent.

So, it turns out that the state of blue­ grass is stronger than ever. Guess I’ve oeen hanging-out with the “jazzers” for too ong and haven’t paid attention. Forgive me Lord, it won’t happen again.

If you d like to get more information about bluegrass in Northeast Florida, call en Carey, president of the North Florida Bluegrass Association, 284-6085. The Suwanee Bluegrass Festival happens April in u, he Suu}annee Park, live Oak on I1683 St' l,ckets are $5-$8- C904) 364'

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Manicure/ Pedicure $25 reg. $35

am to 5 pm, Mondavtomunh

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M°av T?raF e unlimited golLtSo’game tokens and asmlll Pep^pSl the Ja'ctoSePu“totto°ra2rie6s5 °r ViSi' a"y branch °'

?™nfN??RNAMENT< The Jacksonville Chess Club o??nSc?na ’“armament for all students under the age ° J8L®10 rP T ee or non-USCF members and $5 for Anri? o Lt ,Pe9|slr®tl0n !■> between 9 am and 9:45 am.

6Pn'9 ?* 'I?® Jacksonville Chess Club m the Comfort Inn South, 3233 Emerson St. 399-1555.

GALLERIES & EXHIBITS THE ART CENTER International Festival of the Arts, featuring original oil paintings by various Haitian artists, through April 30. Opening reception on April 8, 5 pm-7 pm. • Hours: Mon, 10 am-5:30 pm; Tue, 10 am-7 pm; Wed-Fn, 1 pm-7 pm; Sat-Sun, 1:30 pm-5:30 pm. 700 Broad St. 356-7035.

ARTISTS’ GALLERY OF JACKSONVILLE. Watercolors by Phyllis Raderman and house portraits in pastel by Perry Rusell through April. • Hours: Mon, 7-9 pm; Tue-Sat, 10 am-5 pm. 5618 San Jose Blvd.

731-8902.

BEACHES ARTS AND CRAFTS GALLERY Oils by Dolores Friedline through April 29. » Hours: Mon-Sat, 10 am-5 pm; Sun, noon-5 pm. 1238 Beach Blvd.

241-8816.

BEACHES FINE ARTS GUILD. Awakenings'. A juried exhibition with featured sculptor, David Royal Olson, through April 30. • Reception on April 2, from 6 pm-8 pm. • Hours: Tue-Sun 10 am-5 pm. 1326 Beach Blvd.

247-9041.

CARRERA GALLERY. Senior Show through April 8. • Bitte Beachten Sie, by Hilary Dennis and Sarah Warburg opens April 8, 5 pm-7 pm. • Hours: Tue-Sat, noon-3 pm. 9 Carrera St., St. Augustine. (904) 8296481.

COLOURS. Acrylics by Michael Thomas and watercol­ ors by Rosamond Parish, through April 30. • Hours: Th-Sun, 11 am-4 pm or by appointment. 130 Charlotte St., St. Augustine (904) 825-0807.

CORNERSTONE ART GALLERY Animals, featuring woodcarvings from Jacksonville’s finest carvers, through April 29. • Hours: Mon-Fri, 10 am-5 pm. 1650 Art Museum Dr Ste. 15. 396-5520.

CRESCENT BEACH ART GALLERY Women, Form and Fantasy: Third Anniversary Show, through April 30. • Hours: Mon, Wed-Sat, 10 am-5 pm; Sun, noon-4 pm. 6015 A1A S., St. Augustine. (904) 471-9990.

EYE OF THE LIZARD GALLERY. East gallery.

Paintings by Richard Currier and david Engdahl, through April 9. A group show in the West Gallery.Hours: Tues-Sat, 11 am-5 pm or by appointment 4877 North A1A, Pelican Plaza, Vero Beach. 264-3004.

FCCJ ART GALLERIES. Downtown Gallery: - A

April 6-28. Opening reception April 6 from 5 pm to 7 pm Hours: Mon-Thur. 11 am-5 pm; Fn, 11 am-3 pm 101 W State St. 632-8236. • Kent Gallery: Duval

Announcing the Grand Opening of Jacksonville’s New Premiere Comedy Nightclub!!! The New Punchline Comedy Club in the Promenade at Beach Blvd.

CALL 642-LAFF FOR INFORMATION JACK SIMMONS April 12-17 “Its Comedy Folks - Its Not Real"

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Get ready for a week of high energy / A comedy with Jacksonville favorite Jack / A Simmons. Jack has appeared on / few A&E’s Evening At The Imporv, Carolines Comedy Hour, Star Search, MTV Half Hour comedy Hour and Showtime’s Comedy Club. Jack’s unique perspective on life, robust wit and rascally delivery are uproariously funny. Don’t miss him!

BLAKE CLARK April 26 - May 1 Celebrity Performance Blake has appeared in feature films- Fatal Insfincf, Toys, Wired and St. Elmos Fire, he has guest starred in Who's the Boss, \ Roseanne, Designing Women, The Bob \ Newhart Show, Host of NBC's Funny ft People, Recurring Role on its the Gary Shandling Show and starred in 2 HBO specials as well as numerous appear— ances on the Tonight Show and Late Night with David Letterman- Blake is sure fired comedy at it’s best!

May 2nd - A.J. JARNAL - Host of Comedy Central’s Comic Justice One Show only Comedy Showcase performance

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Oldest in evocations are Atlanta artis Kemper’s abstracted pairs of figures ot incised, painted and dark brown glazed ceramics. Their armless oblong bodies bearing geometric scarification display interlinked featureless heads of spiral over­

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lapping (like feathers or botanical sheathing) ceramic coils. Standing waist-high side-by-side, they suggest prehistoric ice age sacred goddesses, both gender sug­ gestive as primordial sisters and simultane-

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with cover, “The Rose^''°Vely bowl glazed with dehcateDaStN^en;" are ove>'atld a single lightgoRin^ Pink roses >ng the innate beauty of ih- ^u01 enbancous celebrational piece in th the most WIhe.on,y local particinameen,ireshow. flor’s ceramics (b ah represented, “nPa>nted) have been I Painted and

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with its dollar-masked stabber murdering above the legend, “You Can’t be too Thin or Too Rich,” Coe exposes injustices while pictorializing her philosophy, “When you are in touch with you are a part of their struggle, you realize that simply maintain­ ing your commitment to the struggle is a vic-

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objects of idealized beauty or allure but as human subjects engaged in mundane activities and domestic chores. Compare her strong black silhouette drawino (relieved by irregular negative spaces of unmarked white paper) of a woman clean­ ing a toilet bowl to the adjacent bronze sculpture of the same subject and action Look closely at Shearer’s incorporation and interweaving of vegetation, of botani­ cal elements which symbolically reinforce the sculpture's female character and artis­ tically make an unexpected organic con­ trast to the sparse geometry of the toilet. A major subtheme of this important exhibi­ tion is human violence and its victims.

Chronologically, the earliest is a black and white image by Wood of a heap of human bones and skulls.

New York-based Coe has become one _______________ .of this nation's most prominent social protest artists. In large, dramatic mixed media and collage works like

Shearer’s drawing -n6X >ibilion’s theme

tory."

The most overwhelming works in the exhibition are by Hartwell, an associate professor of art at Florida State, widely rec­ ognized for her writing, lecturing and its al arts concerned with human violen and geo-political conflict. Her mi# media painting, “It Thrills Me To Ml' damns the indiscriminate pathologi slaughter ravaging urban and r America: “The history of the world is a1 tory of conflict and conquest. We are to it. Survival of the fittest, has m® ■ . human terms, survival of the n}ost v’? .jfs The show’s tour-de-force is Ham' .

8-foot-by-12-foot participator^ , “Love of Conflict/The Economic Le The work, she says, “encompass facets of the same issue.... It is PVs\.e]cro manipulate all of the pieces, wim on the world map. In this way, Y viewer, can change the meant s dynamics of the art work.”Q Women’s WorkX: The 20 through April 15 al cireetContemporaries, 526 Lancasi & Hours: Tue. and Thur., 9 a.rn.-l A', $

lotion of this article.

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SSsss AugustinJSS' eXC6Pt TUeS- 39 C°rdova Sl ’ St' Aori|/7RMS^ GAuLLERYt The Student Show 1994.

Th, 7a^Q5' * H?urs' Tue’ Wed' Fr'. 9 am-5 pm:,

throJuoh<Anh|G9«LL^RY' Fh°,09raphs of Judith Getter San J9oseX 730 2et00 C°mrnuni,y Alliance- 85°5 SILOING: “ Artisan Gallery. Limited edition prints, P°sters- 58'A Spanish St., St Augustine.

824-2751. • Avenue Antiques & Gallery. Diverse works; 3564 St. Johns Ave 388-1995 ■ Avenue Books & Gallery. Watercolors by Hugo Ohlms • Oil paintings and silk wearable art by Kathleen Mulholland.

172 1/2 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. 829-9744. • Benstord's Art & Frame Gallery. Works on paper, 505 W. Adams St. 356-4780. • Brewsaugh Gallery Clay, textiles and carvings, 1079 Atlantic Blvd., No. 9.

246- 8961 • The Collectors Exchange. 11111 San Jose Blvd. 260-2787. • Cosmopolitan Gallery.

Eastern European art, 120 W. Adams St. 353-2308. • Eastern Sun Printworks. Silkscreened cards and prints by Nancy Hamlin-Vogler, 179 B San Marco Ave , St. Augustine. 829-1952. • Federal Galleries. Aviation & marine prints, 1527 Third St. N„ Jacksonville Beach.

247- 1119. • Galleria Machu Picchu. Sculpture, paint­ ing and ceramics, Pueblo Espanol, 2nd floor, 47 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 824-2056 • Hampton Gallery. Multimedia works and duck carvings, 2411 S. Third St., Jacksonville Beach. 247-1050 • Irene Gallery. Parfum lab and antique arts gallery. Provide free group and individual tours. 1141 W. Adams St. 358-3206. • Marianne Lerbs Art Gallery.

Contemporary paintings and sculpture, watercolor and art classes, 3551 US 1, S. No. 7, St. Augustine. 7976680. 8 Millet Gallery. Post-impressionistic works of Lisa Ann Millet. 51-D Cordova St (904) 823-1456. • Moultrie Creek Studios Fine Art Gallery Paintings, pottery and sculpture, 218 Charlotte St., St. Augustine.

829-2142. • Sunshine Gallery. Multi-media, 1315 N. Third St., Jacksonville Beach. 246-7133.8 The Temple of Great Art No Spitting. Animals through April; mixed media, sculpture, pottery and more. 82 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine. 825-0837. • 31 Aviles Street Gallery. Watercolors of Dick Zayack, 31 Aviles St., St. Augustine. 829-6405. • The William Trotter Maritime Studio. Historic ships and waterfront scenes, 1011 N. Third St., Jacksonville Beach. 241-8845. • Worth Antiques Gallery. Local private collector sell­ ing $70,000 Hummel collection; Eclectic antiques.

1254 Beach Blvd. Jacksonville Beach. 247-2211.

MUSEUMS________________ ALEXANDER BREST MUSEUM JU Senior Show Almost Homeless, through April 29. • Permanent col­ lection includes Oriental and European ivories, preColumbian artifacts, Steuben glass and American.

European and Oriental porcelain. • Guided tours

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J/f^SOwV,ALLE ART MUSEUM. Emerging Jacksonville Artists featuring the works of Nickolas »Tom^a9®r’ Joseph Se9_al and Barry Wilson through May 15. • The Duval Art Teachers Association \A,nted Exh'blt through May 15. • Jacksonville Watercolor Society Juried Exhibition, April 21-May 15.

• womens Work, outdoor sculpture by Rhonda Roland bnearer, through May 15. • Permanent exhibits include the pre-Columbian collection. Hours: Tue, Wed and l-n, 10 am-4 pm; Thur, 10 am-10 pm; Sat-Sun. 1 pm-5 pip. 4160 Boulevard Center Dr. 398-8336.

JACKSONVILLE FIRE MUSEUM. A hand pumper J™ I806' steam Pumpers dating from 1898 and a 1926 American La France are just a few of the historic tire engines on display along with other memorabilia.

Guided tours by appointment only. 12 Catherine St. 630-2458.

JACKSONVILLE HISTORICAL CENTER Antique Sale sponsored by the Jacksonville Historical Society, April 8 & 9 from 9 am to 4 pm at 100-B Wharfside Way. Exhibits ranging from the Timucuan Indians to the important role played by the Navy allow visitors to walk through Jacksonville’s history. Hours: Mon-Sat, 10 am5 pm; Sun, noon-5 pm. Free. East of the Main St. Bridge, Southbank Riverwalk. 398-4301.

JACKSONVILLE MARITIME MUSEUM. The Jacksonville Scale Ship Modelers Society meets the second Tues of each month at the Southbank pavilion.

An exhibit of a large model of a WWII destroyer and a sampling of maritime history with models, artifacts and pictures are on display. Free. Hours; Mon-Sun, 11 am-7 pm. The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr. 355-9011. Southbank Riverwalk Pavilion, west of the Main Street Bridge. Site temporarily closed to reqular traffic. 398-9011 JACKSONVILLE ZOOLOGICAL PARK See Mahah Pa Simba, “Place of the Lions," one-acre facility, in the southeast comer of the African veldt, home to three lions. 8 Zoo visitors can have their photo taken with a live snake at the new photo booth, $3. • Two maned wolves are now on exhibit and can be seen from the zoo train. 8 “Elephant Encounter" is a 30-minute demonstration of how this amazing pachyderm is cared for in captivity, from bathing to feeding. Hours: Weekdays, 11:30 am; Weekends and holidays, noon and 2:30 pm. ° The Okavango Village Petting Zoo fea­ tures a boardwalk along the Trout River that leads to the petting area where African pygmy goats, Sicilian burros and dwarf zebu, among others, reside, alliga­ tors and crocodiles are fed every Saturday, 2 pm, ° Open daily, 9 am-5 pm. 8605 Zoo Road, S2 50-S4.

757-4463 KARPELES MANUSCRIPT LIBRARY MUSEUM. The museum exhibits one of the world's largest private holdings of original documents relating to history, litera­ ture, music and science. Hours: Daily, noon-4 pm.

Free. 101 W. First St. 356-2992.

LIGHTHOUSE MUSEUM Constructed in 1874, the oldest surviving brick structure in St. Augustine houses exhibits that tell the light keepers' stories. Hours: Daily, 10:30 am-3:30 pm; children may visit if they are at least age 7 and 4 feet tall, $1.75; Adults $3.50. 818 Lighthouse Ave., Anastasia Island. 829-0745.

LIGHTNER MUSEUM. Press Moulding-, see this col­ lection of pressed glass, a marvelous new invention for the 19th century, displayed through July 22. • Permanent collections of decorative arts and material culture from the Victorian era, a natural science room and more. Hours: Daily, 9 am-5 pm. $4 adults; $1 chil­ dren ages 12-18. 75 King St., St. Augustine. 824-2874.

MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY Florida Portrayed, a private collection of early Flonda art, including paint­ ings, prints and memorabilia. Hours: Daily, 10 am-5 pm. Adults $3.50; Children $1. 15 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 826-0415.

MUSEUM OF SCIENCE AND HISTORY. Distinguished People with Disabilities on display through April ml 8. • Sea Turtle Tears on display through May 3. 8 BATSII! The most extensive exhibit on bats returns to MOSH. • Ancient Ways: The River's First People focuses on the life and culture of the Timucuan people before the arrival of the first Spanish expedition in 1512. Demonstrations in flint knapping, weaving, pottery and corn grinding are scheduled regularly. • The Maple Leaf: Port at Last, an exhibit of artifacts from the sunken Civil War steam ship Maple Leaf.

Planetarium: Star Stealers and First Light; Show times: Tues and Thurs 2 pm; Sat 1 pm and 3 pm; Sun. 1:30 pm and 4:30 pm. • The Good, the Bad and The Cuddly: Attitudes Towards Animals. This exhibit comes from the Smithsonian Institute and offers a sometimes whimsical look that people have towards wildlife Opens April 16. 8 Museum hours; Mon-Fri, 10 am-5 pm; Sat, 10 am-6 pm; Sun, 1 pm-6 pm; $3-$5, mem­ bers admitted free. 1025 Museum Cir. 396-7061.

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CONCERTS_______________ JU COMMUNITY ORCHESTRA William McNeiland, professor of music, directs as the orchestra performs pieces by Wagner, Mussorgsky and an original piece called Ensemble CLXVII. April 5, 8 pm in the Terry Concert Hall at Jacksonville University, 2800 University Blvd. N. 745-7370.

MARTIN SIMPSON IN CONCERT This internationally acclaimed finger-style guitarist, who is featured on the cover of the current Fingerstyle Guitar Magazine, is performmg a concert sponsored by St. Augustine’s Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. April 6 at 8 pm. 2487 State Rd. 3. 829-3303 or 642-5242.

GUITAR WORKSHOP AND CONCERT Classical Spanish guitarist Ron Hudson offers a workshop for guitarists of all styles April 7 at 4 pm in the student lounge of the college’s main building. 74 King St. In concert Fry will also play the armadillo guitar and when oerforming an original piece about a spider he shares the stage with a tarantula. April 7, 8 pm in the Flagler C^leP^Aud^onu^ t^Gran^da S^2^-64^ .^ext^OT

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MIND OVER MATTER While the goal of facial reconstructive surgery is to repair a diseased or _____ wounded outer section of the human anatomy, the goal of elective facial plastic surgery resides chiefly in the minds of those who seek to undertake it. More to the point reconstructive surgery is necessary, while elective surgery is not. This unique set of circurrv stances surrounding elective facial cosmetic surgery is what prompts the facial plastic surgeon to assess a patient's motivations and expectations before operating. The surgeon must identify orosoective patients with reachable goals and realistic expectations. In the end, these are the parameters that will define the success of the operation. Surgeons must look into the minds of their patients before they address their patients’ physical nature.

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Those Bradys The show tv watchers know inside out takes the stage.

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Davy Jones, the heartthrob of another i—-3 he Brady Bunch. That classic sitkitschy sitcom that we all (or at least some I I com of the early ’70s proved it of us) love - The Monkeesl Marcia has was possible to resolve any promised the members of Fillmore Junior I I moral dilemma in less than JU High’s Davy Jones Fan Club that she can minutes and still have time for commerget him to make a guest appearance at Cla*if you don’t own a television set or you their prom. Like every Honest Abe Brady, she simply can’t go back on her word. were on another planet between 1969 and You can catch the rest of this goofy 1974 - between the eras Woodstock and episode in The Real Live Brady Bunch, a disco — perhaps you’re not all that familiar live stage reenactment that’s coming to the with the program. It’s the story of a lovety Florida Theatre. The show is made up of lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold, like their mother — the youngest one in curls. And it’s the stoiy of a man named Brady who was busy with three boys of his own. They were four men living all together but they were all alone.

No, really. It’s about a widow named Carol, who marries a wid­ ower named Mike (divorce was still too sticky for prime time).

They combine their families: Carol, Marcia, Jan and Cindy and Mike, Greg, Peter and Bobby.

Alice the housekeeper and Tiger the dog were in there too. That’s the way they all became the Brady Bunch.

I became familiar with the Bunch through the thousands of reruns airing daily, sometime between 4 p.m. and 5 p.m., conve­ niently after school. I can confi­ dently say I’ve seen each episode twice, at the very least. Those hun­ dred or so episodes are just a The sitcom of the '70s, reincarnated in the '90s. small part of all the other pop cul­ ture sludge lodged in my brain. Eveiyone new actors with the real Davy Jones knows The Brady Bunch was sugarcoated reprising his cameo appearance. simplistic and sometimes plain bad televi’ sion. But isn’t that what makes it so Sod" Created by two sisters, Faith and Jill Soloway, The Real Liue Brady Show was Especially when you reflect unon it Th Brady revival isn't blind p £ The first produced at the Annoyance Theatre consoous mockery. That’s whTmS in Chicago in 1991. With the retro crazethe brazen embracing of ’70s styles from disco to bell bottoms — a revival of The Williams,<acknowlldgesPthesh bY' Barry Brady Bunch was inevitable. . silliness and the despera e S plain However, The Real Live Brady Bunch the members to shnko tb • empts of a» just might be the ticket. Audience particn ■mage in his autobiogrlJhTcT800^ pation is a must for this event. The show opener is The Real Live Game Shout, a comic take on another marvelous tv inven tion — the game show. Eric Waddell, w’ho created The Real Live Game Show, pla?

•he game show host a la Bob Barkerinvites audience members to con’eC down and compete for prizes. When Brady clan takes over, spectators ha known to sing along with the 1 sexual tension sbeen °ng and yell out their favorite lines. ., Let s face it — caricatures of The < °onch are even better than the r 0PPosntseedxUcPoPn'ant'cal'y thrng.Q exceptions » C0Unterpart ,heir

feh“ul *«£).. S"" Point ie

The FCCJ Artist Series presen o a/ Live Brady Bunch Saturday, 6 P-m at the Florida Theatre, Forfyth St. Tickets are $17.50-S25-50j^S373 for additional information-

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The City ofJacksonville Beach Presents

The Crawfish Man’ s Fifth Annual 'I. Wg

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.

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Chances are, you’ll be tempt­ ed by the sights and smells of authentic Cajun cooking, from the Festival’s spicy and delectable namesake, the crawfish, to more exotic dishes like jambalaya (craw­ fish and seasoned rice); etouffee (peeled crawfish tailmeat in brown gravy, served over rice); and boudin (highly seasoned rice and pork, stuffed in a sausage casing).

More importantly, you might run into the Crawfish Man. Don Scallan is like the Bo Jackson of crawfish; he knows how good the little buggers are, and he probably won’t let you leave until you’ve tried at least one.

Despite the overwhelming popularity of the Cajun Crawfish Festival (some figures had more than 35,000 folks attending last \ \ year’s event), \ ------- x the crawfish is ^x-x-~] still a misun­ derstood little Bi­ fellow.

Though he looks vy~ kind of /&, like a (7® miniature lob- notfk ster, people Vg can be -2® ____ put off by his long anten- ~ "—------nae and the bulging eyes that seem to glare at you, even as you pop his shell open to pull out his tender meat you rattled5'1'1 fee' " “"S’ but he can get

Boiled Crawfish!

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efore you head out to the Cajun Crawfish Festival this year, you’d better skip a meal.

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FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5. 1994

the last day to compete in the Grand Championship, where the winner tak« home $300 and a trophy.

Of course, to be a true competitor in an event of this magnitude, you need the proper training; throughout the festival booths are set up to give people hands-on experiences at the proper way to disman­ tle a crawfish (see “How to Eat A Crawfish,” on the following page). There's also a Celebrity Crawfish Eating Contest, a chance for the common folk to see if the techniques of well-known members of the media measure up.

In and around all the eating, though, the Festival burns bright. There are Caimi Cajun Dance Demonstrations and a Cajun Dance Contest, and there’s a $100 prize for the person who creates the most alluring craw­ fish costume. Authentic Cajun music from different bands plays nonstop, inter­ spersed with some jazz, country and other popular music / selections.There irx / are also exhibitions " IT / by local is dance groups, demonstra­ te tions and ' the Miss Crawfish S Queen A Contest.

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BW the kids, $7 t o o, £. there’s ________ nonstop entertainment, with brand-new kid die rides and a cartoon character signing hour. The 5K run is open to adults a children and the kids have a crawfish e ing contest all their own. „.n The Festival is strictly genuine Caj • the Scallans said, and definitely a » affair.__________________________ I “We emphasize good clean and that’s what’s made us so suc,ce^ b,jt Scallan said. “You can drink beer.here. that’s not our focus. We want the family to have a great time." , [-|Sti Scallan, who owns Scallan s C a and Cajun Food, and Glenda, a sr uny grade language teacher at Baker Middle School, conceived of the as a way to promote crawfish an people a glimpse of another he>J “b ( native of Louisiana, ScallaneV Glenda and two of her close friend->1^ home state to see how the real La) fish festivals were run. ,ould The result was a Festival that w any Cajun proud, one that 1^ m’=.,es. the crawfish the admiration it dese ,0 the be safe, though, try not to run g Crawfish Man on an empty stoma

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Incorporated in 1907, the community grew to become a mecca for American th 5 ~== Si . — ■ ■ ’ • * ; vacationers & honeymooners. Bath houses, cafes and roller coasters lined the boardwalk and the beach was alive with dance contests, concerts, races and festivals. The Chamber of Commerce named it "Florida's Most Beautiful Beach."

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FESTIVAL April 15-16-17

Enjoy Louisiana crawfish cooked every possible way, crawfish eating contests, Cajun and Zydeco music, beauty contest, magicians and entertainers, arts & crafts and the 5-mile Spring Beaches Run and Walk on the beach.

At the Fifth Annual Crawfish Festival the Jacksonville Beach oceanfront goes Cajun! Festival information update: 904/384-5694.

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Residents claim the "Beach Bop" was invented in Jacksonville Beach, now celebrate beach music and the ambiance that created itl _________________________________ _ The music you've always loved, great food, ocean breezes, Beachfest 5k Run and Walk, giant arts & crafts show, and a parade on Sunday tops off the weekend. Festival information update: 904/249-3972.

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The Atlantic Ocean forms the background for a great musical celebration and the smokin' aroma of barbecue tops off the flavor of the Fourth Annual Springing the Blues Festival. This event celebrates America's indigenous music form with two days of blues performers from all over the U.S. Families enjoy arts and crafts, antiques and collectibles, kids' games and rides, the Blues Barbecue Cookoff, Florida seafood and 5k Beacn Run and Walk. Festival information update: 1-800-BLUE012, local: 904/249-3972.

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Race Information & Entry Details 904/270-1107

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The Crawfish Man’s 5th Annual Caji Festival Features o Authentic Cajun Music «Cajun Dance Demonstrations

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■> Country Vocals « Crawfish Races ■» Crawfish Eating Contest

»Cajun Dance Contest »Cajun Crawfish Costume Contest • Arts and Crafts Booths • Cartoon Character Signing

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Crawfish festival i FROKAY, AWL 15 6:00 p.m.

GRAND OPENING Jacksonville Beach Seawalk Pavilion Food and Beverage Featuring Crawfish Dishes, and music

by Cajun Dave

6:30 p.m.

Welcome by the 1993 Miss Crawfish Queen Miss Michelle Alane Robinette

7:30 p.m.

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1994 MISS CRAWFISH QUEEN CONTEST \ Mistress of Ceremony \ Miss Michelle Robinette, Miss Jacksonville \ Entertainment by: Ms. Jacksonville University - Miss Jennifer Starling Ms. Ponte Vedra Beach - Miss Kristin Weidner Special Appearance - Miss Jax Beach Dreamgirl - Miss Shawnae Jebdia 8:00 p.m.

THE CELEBRITY CRAWFISH EATING CONTEST the THE (Featuring area News Media, accord'0 I TV. and Journalist)

8:30 p.m.

THE CLOGGING ROBBINS CLOGGING CLUB

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9:00 p.m. \ JOHNNY SONNIER & THE CAJUN HERITAGE BAND from Breaux Bridge, Louisiana

Festival Closes at 10:00 p.m.

SATURDAY, APRIL 16 12:00 Noon Food and Beverage Booths Open Arts and Craft Booths Open & Kiddie Rides Crawfish eating contest registration begins day of the event at 12:00 noon. Contest held at 1:00, 3:00, 5:00 and 7:00 p.m. and Grand Championship on Sunday at 6:00 p.m. ($4.00 Entry Fee) (One winner from each heat will be able to compete for the Grand Championship on Sunday at 6:00) FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5. 1994

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- Winner of Grand Championship receives $300.00 cash plus trophy.

12:00 Noon THE ZYDECO PLAYBOYS featuring the Cajun Accordion 1:00 o.m.

DANNY DIAMOND - Country Vocals

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1:30-2:30 p.m.

THE ZYDECO PLAYBOYS

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2:30 p.m.

THE CELEBRITY CRAWFISH RACES (at the Crawfish Eating Stage) STEVE BRANCH - Country Vocals

3:00 p.m.

JOHNNY SONNIER AND THE CAJUN HERITAGE BAND Sounds of Traditional French Music

_ 4:00 p.m. ... * CAJUN DANCE DEMONSTRATIONS ( eaturmg Tony and Dee Creppel Teaching the Cajun Jitterbug, Two-Step, and Waltz)

JOHNN'HER1TAgE

4:30 p.m. ....

CAJUN DANCE CONTEST Winners receive a trophy and dinner for two at l he Ragtime Restaurant

5:00 p.m.

(French and Traditional Cajun Music) the crawfish costume0CONTENT

CoVumaeandaXda?9%yOUr own Crawfish and w,n a tr°Phy and $100.00 in cash.)

JOHNNY SONMER^ajun Music)

City Rhythm Kiy®J

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8:00 p.m.

INTRODUCTION OF THE ONE AND ONLY CRAWFISH DANCE CONTEST Be the first to introduce steps and moves for a Crawfish Crawl.

Winner receives $100.00 and Trophy.

CRAWFISH EATING CONTEST (Winner receives a trophy and $300.00 in cash)

FESTIVAL UPDATE INFORMATION LINES: 384-6574 FOR SPECIAL ROOM RATES DURING THE CRAWFISH FESTIVAL CALL: _ Ramada Inn (904) 241-5333 The Jax Bch Ocean Front Resort (904) 246-2837 or 1 -800-590-4767

8:30 p.m.

STEVE BRANCH (Country Vocals)

9:00-10:00 p.m.

JOHNNY SONNIER AND THE CAJUN HERITAGE BAND (French Cajun Music)

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Festival closes at 10:00 p.m.

SUNDAY, APRIL O 12:00 Noon Food and Beverage Booths Open, Arts and Craft Booths Open, Kiddie Rides Cooking Demo Fried Turkey by Cajun Sam Pickett

The Cajun

12:15 p.m.

THE FLORIDA BOPPERS, INC. - Beach Bop Dancing 1:00 p.m.

THE RIVER CITY RHYTHM KINGS - Jazz Band

2:30 p.m.

THE SOUTHERN PRIDE CLOGGERS 3:00-4:00 p.m.

th"nS«Ae^ 4:30 p.m.

STEVE BRANCH - Country Vocals

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JOHNNY SONNIER - Cajun Music

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The Crawfish Man says thanks to...

LB, CUZ, K-Nap Baker County WQIK The City of Jacksonville Beach & all volunteers.

Sponsored by

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6:00 p.m.

GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

4/here Beauty Reigns

& Cajun Foods Wholesale & Catering CRAWFISH Cooked Live Meat CAJUN PIES Crawfish Shrimp Crab BOUDIN Crawfish Pork ANDOUILLE TASSO CAJUN NUGGETS Shrimp Crawfish DIPS Smoked Crawfish Smoked Mullet Smoked Catfish WHOLE SMOKED MUI .1 .FT CRAWFISH ETOUFFEE

You Won’t Be Disappointed, We “Gar-on-tee” 4207 St. Johns Ave.

Crawfish Festival Names Pagent Winner

By Vicki Donnelly

"TT*f you want to know how pretty the I mi al \4icc contestants •->atfr (Bn the on annual Miss Crawfish Queen contest get, think m about this: in 1989, Leanza Cornett, J’Lwhn went on to become Miss America three years later, MC’d and enter­ tained. But if hers is the most famous name in the pageant’s ledger, its sure to have some com­ petition in the years to / come.

I It’s no wonder the A beauty pageant draws one of the biggest 1 ' crowds of the Crawfish y Festival.

Take last year’s winner ; Michelle Robinette, who s will host this year’s Fifth Annual Miss Crawfish Queen con­ test. Like every win­ ner to be crowned Miss Crawfish j) Queen, AI 'JU Michelle won J ■ s more than 'v ■ I A '■ cash ($100), prizes (gift cer­ tificates, free­ ■U. bies and the i tk. ■ like), and a I trophy (a big ( one). The ere- I ators of the i ■ulw.

Crawfish Festival, Don fl H ./ . and Glenda y Scallan, also ; spent $200 \ ; to sponsor Michelle in the Miss Jacksonville Pageant.

Michelle won that Pageant, too, and was >ast year’s Miss Gator Bowl. Next, she'll comPe‘e in the Miss June'da pageant in

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side and had the girls snivel shiver-­ on the chilly siae ana naa tne gins . .» z-i f 1 z~x . ____ J ing in their gowns, the Crawfish Queen pageant was a blast, Robinette said. "‘You just go out and smile at everyone, and the people in the audience really get into it," she said. “The pageant is just a lot of fun, and it really opened up doors for me.”

Robinette had a good bit of experience before she took the stage at the Miss Crawfish Contest — she’d already won sev­ eral titles, including Miss Teen Jacksonville and Miss Senior High — but even a novice can be crowned Miss Crawfish Queen. The contest, which costs $15 to enter, is open to the first 15 girls who sign up, with no qualifying.

There’s no talent or swimsuit J competition and the pageant is 5 completely un-rehearsed. The ■I - girls walk on stage in their C «■ evening gowns and are judged strictly on poise and beauty. k Because A of the limited nature of yBr x the event, U-v \ contest a n t s don’t get as . nervous as they do for other pageants, Robinette said. But it’s great exposure (even when the weather’s warm), it’s good experience and it’s hard to i L 1 find a more appreciative audience.

Everything we do here is authentic Cajun and we need a Queen for our said'V“Th Glenda Scallan * *his is something / crnu,U extra We PUt On for the > crowd to enjoy and they love •t- They just eat it up.”

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The answer? Simple: The Crawfish Man sent Glenda on a vacation.

“She couldn’t know what they were really like until she saw it for herself, so 1 sent her to a crawfish festival in Louisiana,” said Scallan, who still speaks with a pronounced Louisiana drawl. “She checked everything out and hired teachn ers to teach the authentic Cajun two-step | at our festival and real Cajun bands to I play-’’

Eveuything from the best crawfish costume to the fastest crawfish eaters.

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Though the crowds grow bigger at the Festival each year, the genuine Cajun atmosphere and excitement have stayed constant. If they do it in Louisiana, the Scallans do it here, from crowning the Miss Crawfish Queen to holding contests on everything from the

r Grand Champion Crawfish Eater, Steve Walker

Air Compressors, Vacuum Pumps, Chemical Cleaning, Sand Blasting & Heat Exchangers Sales & Service of All Manufacturers Rene O. Scallan General Manager

(904) 356-8320 2059 Evergreen Ave. Jacksonville, FL

Les Samuels

• • • • • •

T-Shirts Jerseys Golf Shirts Sweats Jackets Caps

Complete Art & Graphics Service Fully Automated Printing The official screen printer of "The Crawfish Man's Crawfish Festival"

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The Crawfish Man himself, Don Scallan, was born and raised in Louisiana and Cajun cooking and crawfish festivals were a way of life for him. But his wife, Glenda, a Florida native, was more famil­ iar with fried chicken and mashed potatoes than the miniature lob­ ster look-alikes and she didnabout ’t know the first thing putting -------- .pCrawfish -mhi—i Eating ................... together a genuine 1993 Celebrity Contest Winner WQIK s

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By Vicki Donnelly ”W" A "yhen the Crawfish Man \\ #\\ I decided to host a genB / % I uine Cajun Crawfish \\l Festival right here in V u Jacksonville five years ago, one thing immediately became clear: This was going to be the real thing, no imi­ tations allowed.

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best crawfish costume to the fastest craw­ fish eaters.

The three-day long festival, which begins Friday, April 15 at 6 p.m. and runs through Sunday at the Jacksonville Beach Seawalk Pavilion, has been held at the Beach every year since its inception except last year, when the Scallans moved it to Jacksonville Naval Air Station. They got the same big crowds, but something was missing.

"Two years ago at the beach, we moved 15,000 pounds of crawfish — one pound at a time."

— Glenda Scallan “This just seems to fit best at the beach,” said Glenda, who's become — no surprise — Crawfish Wife. "Two years ago at the beach, we moved 15,000 pounds of crawfish — one pound at a time. The

beach is the place for us."

The original and lasting idea behind the festival is to promote the crawfish, the backbone of Scallan's business. Scallan’s Crawfish & Cajun Foods supplies restau­ rant, seafood markets and grocery stores and also does catering. In fact, the Crawfish Man was one of the first to bring his namesake to the Jacksonville area.

From the changes in cuisine around the city, it looks like at least some of Scallan’s respect for crawfish and authen­ tic Cajun cooking has taken hold. Many area restaurants now proudly serve Cajun dishes they wouldn’t have considered putting on the menu 10 years ago.

"The hardest thing about getting craw­ fish on the market and in homes is getting people to taste them that first time," Crawfish Wife said. “But they’re delicious and you can cook them any way you can cook a shrimp. It's just getting to that first taste.”

Scallan’s crawfish provides all the foods, and Don and Glenda run the whole Festival, from start to finish. It costs a for­ tune to put together and takes most of their time for months, but if the weather stays sunny and if the more than 20,000 fliers and advertisers they put out attract crowds, they’re in the pink.

If it rains, well — that’s not something the Crawfish Man and Lady even let them­ selves think about.

"If it rains, I guess the good Lord will hopefully be with us,” Glenda said, shud­ dering. "Then nobody comes and we’re in big trouble. If it’s sunny we’ll be okay.”

There's a lot more at stake than profits, though. Since the Crawfish Man’s name . is on everything that / happens at the / Festival, he stands to / lose a lot if anything / goes wrong.

“This is the part of our heritage and everything is on the line for us,” Scallan said. “It’s 1 our name, our / • -4 heart and soul, / and everything / reflects on us, / all year long. ■ That’s why we don’t give 90 percent, we give 100 per­ cent ... We have a real vested inter­ est in mak- . ing sure / everyone / has a terrif­ ic time.”

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The Magnolia LV U SG

By Don Lee Keith

XaX rears ago when 1 came to New Orleans to live, I was friends with a fellow, who, like me, was from a ® small Southern town. He, however, had attended a fashionable prep school in the East prior to studying law and becoming an attorney. Those who had known him in prep school always reacted with surprise when they learned that he was practicing law. They had all expected him to enter the writing field, which is what he’d always said he meant to do.

One day 1 asked my friend why he had even bothered to perpetrate this tale about literary aspirations. He told me that for his first couple of months at that school, he kept getting funny looks when he said he intended to become a lawyer. Finally, he found out that somehow, all his classmates assumed that anybody from the South would automatically become a writer, regardless. So, from then on, when anyone asked about his professional ambition, he said ‘writer,’ and nobody ever looked at him funny again.

Later, of course, my lawyer friend would discover that kids in fancy prep schools weren’t the only ones who thought of the South as the most likely source of

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American literature. People all over the world think that. Indeed, in the last half cen­ tury or so, readers in astonishing numbers have boarded that already crowded band­ wagon fueled by the stuff that minor myths are made from. Such notions regarding the South are apt to take their cue from Ole Man River himself and none of them just keeps rolling along quite as forcefully as the one about Southern writer's. If it’s true what The Infinite They say, writers are for the South what beans are for Boston and wind is for Chicago and beer is for Milwaukee.

It’s usually the writers themselves who are asked to explain why so many of them do what they do, and while the question is certainly a logical one, it is not always an easily answered one. By now, plenty of writ­ ers have put the subject itself at the top of their sick lists; they’re sick of hearing about it. Soon after To Kill a Mockingbird arrived on the best seller charts, Alabama author Harper Lee found herself repeatedly facing interviewer’s requests that she ladle out some insight into the matter. On and on the questions went, and finally, Harper Lee got so frustrated from trying to provide a defini­ tive explanation that would satisfy every­ body that she just declared a moratorium

Eudora Welty credited the South's storytelling tradition with creating writers.

Southerner, once sand there were so W.J. Cash, a the South that if you fired a gun below many writers in the Mason-Dixon line you were bound to hit a writer.

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The Magnolia Muse on interviews and shut up completely.

From time to time, of course, the barbed interrogative has been used to poke at a number of the South’s literary lions forcing them into a corner of the cage. It is 'a tribute to their regional inspiration, perhaps, that some have been trusted with such skill’ Truman Capote, whose early work explored with sensitivity the fragility of the Southern psyche, concluded that growing up in the small towns of the South occasion­ ally produces a strange loneliness of alienat­ ed existence, of social disorientation. He said, “This loneliness can add to sensibility.

Then, it seems to increase creativity. Yet the same geographic isolation that is capa­ ble of sharpening insight can stifle talent in others, shrinking it to nothing.”

William Styron, who had no doubt that the South produces more than its share of good writers, once said he feels that this is because so many Southerners come from a tradition that has respected and even vener­ ated the written word. “Witness,” said Styron, “the tradition of the region regarding Several years ago when someone asked playwright Lillian Hellman about the abun­ dance of important writers from the South, the question took her a bit aback. “1 don’t know why,” she said flat out, but then it occurred to her that she might, after all, know. Said she: “Possibly it's because the South is the only place in America where people have had real roots. Southerners have tended to move less. They have been more in touch with legend and land.”

William Faulkner, whose inspirational aura hovers above whenever two or more Southern writers are gathered together, wasn’t sure why so many Southerners write, but he did note that when the so-called blossoming of Southern writers came along, it was a time when nobody in the South had much money. Said Faulkner, “They couldn’t travel, and they had to invent a world a little different from the shabby one they lived in, so they took to writing, which is cheaper. That is, a ream of paper and a pencil is cheaper than a railroad ticket.”

Faulkner allowed as how the seeds of the Southern renaissance probably went back as far as the time right after the Civil War. The Nobel Prize winner said that the

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Lillian Hellman credited Southerners' rootedness with producing writers.

yearning to stretch, call it a regional conflict of psychic perception, call it what you want to call it, but baby, what it is is boredom. We Southerners get bored easier, faster. Maybe it’s got something to do with being closer to the equator, who knows?"

Eudora Welty said it better than most, however, which isn’t surprising since she says almost everything better than most.

She said, “We in the South have grown up in a place where storytelling is a way of life.

We listened to the tales we were told, many of which were family tales, we absorbed not only the tales but also the nature of telling tales.

“So, when Southerners write, they are doing what comes naturally. And since for

William Faulkner thought Southerners turned to writing because /za ream of paper and a pencil is cheaper than a railroad ticket/' Southerner may have had an instinctive desire to correct the erroneous ideas held by the Northerner and that writing was the Southerner’s way of projecting a new mo positive image than that of a i y-g region whose real talent was with a pen rather than cannons and crossfire.

Tennessee Williams once declaredI —■ n jest and through a mustache the real clipped than his enunciation th reason behind all this Southern wr mg is not what the world generally suspects.. 1 playwright said, “Call it the isolated spirit

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many of us, history has happened in our front yards, we’ve been able to watch it and be part of it over long periods of time, to pass it on to the next generation with stones drat always grew in the telling, never d.mm*Sh“We’ve known a continuity of life. If we

place is not confined to history or philoso­ that would later distinguish it in the mind of phy. It is a sensory thing of sights and the world as being a work by a Southern smells and seasons and earth and water writer. and sky.”

From then on, however, it was open sea­ The publishing industry in this country is son for anybody who lived below the obviously a lot better at selling books than it Mason-Dixon line who happened to feel is at keeping statistics. Collective statistics, like taking pen in hand. Publishing con­ that is. Consequently, there is surprisingly cerns, most of which were (and are) locat­ little data on the Southern Surge of ed in New York, were suddenly flooded American writing, nor even on when it with unsolicited manuscripts from the South. Many of them were not only publish­ began.

Certainly, there had been writers in the able, but also profitable, as indicated by best-selling charts.

South right from colo­ nial times, and, as might During the 1950s, be expected, they pro­ three major publish­ duced reading material ing firms employed about that section of the readers whose sole country. Most of those duty was to consider works, however, were manuscripts that overshadowed by read­ emanated from the ing material produced South. And at least 4 by writers writing about two big motion pic­ New England. ture studios in It wasn't until the Hollywood had agree­ 1930s, it seems, that the ments with New York South started to emerge publishing houses as a literary region. That that top prices for emergence began to be Southern materials noted in the literary form would be forthcoming of the short story. At that if they, the movie stu­ time there were a num­ dios, had first crack at ber of highly respected purchasing the new magazines that featured material for screen short stories as their spe­ adaptation. As a cialty. There were also result, literary efforts several novels that in the South ended up brought considerable being financially ben­ attention to their eficial to three sepa­ Southern authors, but it Tennessee Williams' explanation for rate sections of the wasn’t until Margaret Southern writers was boredom. country.

Mitchell came out with One problem of Gone With the Wind in 1936 that the South, having so few figures regarding regionalism as an entity, began its rapid ascent to the in the creative world is that there is no indi­ top of the American literaiy ladder. cation of literaiy efforts that have not been Oddly, it was the setting of Miss best selling books. There are no statistics Mitchell’s mammoth volume, not its subject, on how many books — fiction or non-fiction FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

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Magnolia Muse - that were written by Southerners nn on the number of Southerners who make their living writing things other than books such as newspaper and magazine articles ’ Some of the depth with which the writ ten word is taken to heart by those in the South however may be reflected in the fact m n e°P 500 best-selling volumes in the United States between 1940 and 1990 moie than a third were by persons who were either natives or residents of the

Jacksonville's Only Authentic Steel Drum Band SOme,hin8 or someone beyond our X! T Selves: teachers, instruments liahtc^w !Eana§ers’ costumes, galleries’ W?tlng requires nothing except neJdVu °d PUttlnS them down- Performers anduftJa ° .perforrT1> audiences to see can dn wM T"? needs only himselL He Thld T , Ae does any time- any place, hp T511 ° ^ls do'nS can be as private as As pto o^fa^’^ he Can manage’

lessor at the University of Virginia. It was cornerstone of our homeland’s philosowhile the author was being interviewed that he was asked a question about his fellow Mississippians. “Tell me,’’ said the inter-' viewer, why is it that so many residents of Mississippi can’t read?”

Faulkner replied: “Perhaps it’s because they re too busy writing.”

Early one summer afternoon a few years back, I was having lunch in the coffee shop of a New Orleans hotel with a writer whose ability I admired and whose judgement I respected and somehow we ended up unin­ tentionally in this conversational thicket, both of us slinging blades at brush we’d already cut in other discussions over other lunches. On this occasion, however, we wondered aloud what might have hap­ pened had Carson McCullers gone ahead with her musical aspirations and simply for­ gotten about writing. That triggered our curiosity about other writers who’d shown early interests in other, non-literary arts.

Almost invariably, we decided, those inter­ est had been dismissed in later years as triv­ ial, childhood pursuits.

Truman Capote thought the secret to Then, having finished our meal, we the South's producing so many writers sauntered outside to hail taxis so we could was isolation. "That loneliness can add proceed to our separate destinations. There to sensibility." was only one taxi waiting, so we flipped a coin. My friend won. He hastily scooted into the back seat of the cab and as it pulled phy. I’m talking about the general down— ’----------:‘1-!----home idea that writing (and particularly away 'from the curb, leaving me within spit­ writing that has not yet resulted in wealth ting distance of an approaching raincloud, and/or honors) is some­ how something less than an honest day's work.

Work? Selling fertilizer is work. Pouring asphalt is work and sharpening chainsaws and nailing on soles in a shoe factory.

These and other clock­ punching jobs satisfy the Judeo-Christian ethic that is our lot.

But writing? Everybody writes. Writing has neither the vocational distinction of nine-to-fiveism nor the mystique expected from “creative” endeavors.

Still, I’m far from certain that the South has any right to go around all puffed up and proud because, as some insist, the liter­ he cranked down the window and hollered ary muse is attracted to the fragrance of back, “Did I ever tell you that when was magnolias. No, what stokes the inventive nine years old, 1 was convinced that one fire for the Southern writer is what does the day I’d be the next El Greco? same for writers everywhere: the tangible, Just about then the tllynd®rst°Th u?e portable power of the product. His creation menced and. as I huddled ene is as functional before an audience as any hotel canopy, playing! PeekAj*““jXe Why performance, but its purpose does not ing taxis, I got to thinking. That phrase w y diminish with applause. You can touch it, as you can a painter’s canvas, but its value is not confined to someone else s wall.

And as far as beauly is concerned, we I, I’ve heard tell of a fellow over in Pensacola who has lost his very heart to a rather shapely figure of speech.

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^tlW^ JSO MOZART AND MORE SERIES. Trumpet virtuoso Stephen Bums joins the JSO for the test

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COMEDY____________________ THE COMEDY ZONE. Headliner Steve Rizzo with feaact Flossie, April 5-10. • Regular showtimes: TuesThurs 8'30 pm; Fri-Sat, 8 pm and 10 pm; Sun, 8 pm; S5-S8 Ramada Inn Mandarin, I-295 and San Jose Blvd 292-HAHA (4242).

THE PUNCH LINE. Ron Robertson, April 5-10. • Reoular showtimes: Tues-Thurs, 8:30 pm; Fri-Sat, 8 pm and 10 pm; Sun, 8 pm; S8-S12. 8595 Beach Blvd. 6425233.

ARLINGTON/ REGENCY/ SOUTHSIDE CLUBS________

Srinivas, former child prodigy, praised as the tastes string instrument player in the world, is presenting a mandolin concert featuring East-Indian classica music.

April 9, 6 pm at the Robinson Theater (Bldg. 14 Auditorium) at the University of North Florida. Tickets $20 before the show and $25 at the gate for adults, $0 for students with ID and children under 12 free.

T.'/rWER CITY RHYTHM KINGS IN CONCERT Jacksonville’s premier New Orleans style jazz ensem­ ble gives a live performance sponsored by the First Coast Dixieland Jazz Society, a non-profit group dedi­ cated to the preservation, performance and promotion of traditional jazz. April 9, 7 pm-10 pm at Ward’s Landing, #15 So. Roscoe Blvd., Ponte Vedra/Palm Valley 295-9444.

JU JAZZ ENSEMBLE. They’ll groove with the Dolphinaires, directed by conductor Artie Clifton April 9, 8 pm at the Terry Concert Hall, Jacksonville University 2800 University Blvd N. 744-3950, ext. 7370.

JAMES WRIGHT IN CONCERT. A Jacksonville native, Wright sinus a variety of current hits, jazz numbers and ballads. Also featuring pianist John Rappold, vocalist Andrena Jackson ana vocal group Q’TAK and dancer Monica Siliger. April 9, 8 pm at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd. $10. 396-4425.

ST. JOHNS RIVER CITY BAND. The band offers a free pop concert in April. The Grand Opening of Northband & Taste of Jacksonville, April 10, 2 pm at the Northbank Riverwalk.

WYNTON MARSALIS IN CONCERT. The Grammy-

BILLIARD’S. The Units, April 8 & 9. • 3935 Toledo Rd. 737-1005.

BLUE BIRD CAFE. Stockwell Bros, April 7, 8 pm. $5. • Open Mic with Randy Judy, Tue. • Songwriters' Showcase with Darrel Wallace, Wed. • Writers in the Round, Thur. • Live radio taping, Fri, Sat. • Eclectic live music. • 11961 Beach Blvd. 565-9209.

CLUB CAROUSEL. Country and western line dancing, Mon. • Latin Salsa, Fri. • High energy dance and Female Illusions, Sat. • 8550 Arlington Expwy.

725-2582.

CLIFF’S GRILL. Karaoke, Sat. • 3033 Monument Rd., Cobblestone Plaza, 645-5162.

CRAZY HORSE SALOON. Country music nightly. • 5800 Phillips Hwy. 731-8892.

THE EDGE. Anthrax with Fight, April 6. • Tool, April 13.

• Counting Crows, May 10. • Progressive, alternative and industrial dance music, Wed, Fri and Sat. • Rock Night, Thurs. • 845 University Blvd., N. 745-1232.

57 HEAVEN. Ric Steele, Wed. • Carolina beach music, Thurs. • Dance to ‘50s to ‘70s music. • 8136 Atlantic Blvd. 721-5757.

KAMI KAZE'S. Ladies Night with D.J. Dave, Wed and Thur. ° Live music with Double Trouble Fri and Sat • 6237 Arlington Expwy. at the Ramada East. 725-6766.

SPIKE’S DOG HOUSE. Stuck Mojo, April 9. • New Generation Reggae, Thur. • 1324 University Blvd., N. 745-0625.

THUNDERBIRDS. Oldies dance music, Mon-Sat. • Holiday Inn East, 5865 Arlington Expwy. 724-3410.

WING-IT. George Whittaker, II and the Painted Horse Band, April 16. • Larry McKenzie, Tues. • Kids Karaoke, Fri. • 11018 Old St. Augustine Rd. 262-6652.

DO YOU HAVE THAT LOOK?

AVONDALE CLUBS___________ ECLIPSE. Alternative dance music, Tue. Thur and Sat. • Old Wave Night. Fri. • 4219 St. Johns Ave. 387-3582.

HARRY'S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE. I and I, April 8 & 9. • Live music, Fri-Sat. • 4000-40 St. Johns Ave. 388-7305.

PARTNERS. Take Note featuring Lisa Kelly, April 9 & 16. • Noel Freidline Trio, featuring Rene Dickerson. Tue-Sat. • 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-3585.

STERLING'S FLAMINGO CAFE. Sunday brunch with Lisa Kelly and Take Note, April 10. • 3551 St. Johns Ave. 387-0700.

TOM AND BETTY'S. Noel and Mindy, Fri. • 4409 Roosevelt Blvd.

387-3311.

TOM AND GARY’S SEAFOOD. Karaoke, Wed. Fri and Sat. • Jam session, Sun, 6-9 pm; All musicians welcome. • 4420 Blanding Blvd.

779-6622.

YESTERDAYS ENTERTAINMENT. Ace Moreland with the Midnight Creepers, April 8 and 9. • 3638 Park St. 387-0502.

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Gator Bowl and the Florida-Georgia game je ?!& tO°' i?Ut the Partic‘Pants are - at least nominally - amateurs.) What better way to experience the grandeur and

the?7 ath h‘I6 TT t0 Park oneself at the '7th hole - the famous island green on the final day of the tournament?

So I settled into my lawn chair with my binoculars my bottled water and my radio (to hear those official TPC reports), with an osprey and the Met Life Blimp cir­ cling overhead and waited for the magic to begin. t I’ve writ- \ ten stories \,X i about college football, bas- \W | ketball and V, baseball, minor \\ league baseball, v. deer hunting, a women’s rugby team, the Boston \\ Marathon and trac- \\ tor pulling. \ Professional golf I’d ' never even seen.

Well, I’d seen it on tv. Being an occasional golfer myself, I will occasionally tune in a tournament to see if I can crack the secret code that keeps me from the perfect — or at least a passable — golf swing. Golf on television is also a won­ derfully soothing thing to fall asleep to.

Don’t get me wrong. I like golf. Not that I’m any good at it. On his way to a record­ setting 24-under-par win, Greg Norman had a first round score of 63. The first time I played the same course, I shot a 63 on the front nine.

I got the idea that maybe some people take this golf stuff a little more seriously than I do as I walked in from the parking lot. The guy in front of me was wearing golf shoes. Spikes. 1 guess it’s sort of like a kid taking a glove to a baseball game. Or maybe the shoes were new and he wanted to break them in.

Fashion, 1 thought, would be a big part of the peripheral goings-on. It was, 1 guess, but it wasn’t quite the fashion 1 expected.

There were guys wearing straw pith hel­ mets, guys wearing tattoos and one guy in a pith helmet equipped with a solar-pow­ ered fan. As you might expect at an out­ door event on a 90 degree day, there was also a smattering of shirtless fat guys in the

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The golfers themselves were disap­ pointing in their sartorial normality. Only Joe Ozaki lived up to golfers' reputation or weird wear. He wore what looked hke disco hand-me-downs: white shoes, laven­ der pleated pants and a lavender and

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white shirt that looked like it had been cre­ ated by someone under the influence of mind-altering chemicals.

Now for the golf itself. The first group of golfers I saw got two pars and a birdie.

The second group got two pars and a bogey. The bogey had much more to do with bad putting than with the water that surrounds the 17th green. Hey, how tough can this hole be? I parred it. On the third try.

Greg Kraft hit the first water shot I saw at 17. It hit the wooden bulkhead with a sound not unlike that made by a —-"Tweak infield pop up coming off ' a Louisville Slugger. There were two more water shots that day. One skipped like a flat rock. The other fell to its ^watery grave with a gentle thunk.

Not every sports fan’s \attention was riveted to yhe golf course. A woman . \ \ behind me was watching \the Florida-Boston \ College basketball 0"?) i \game on a battery operated television. In at least a half-dozen -^^^groups of people around me were watching or listening to the game.

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As the tension mounted and Greg Norman got closer and closer to the 17th, more tv cameras were manned, hand-held directional microphones appeared and a group behind me began to discuss Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood characters.

Eventually, Norman and the crowd that followed him arrived. Norman needed only to play the last two holes slightly bet­ ter than I could play them to assure victo­ ry. A man to my right said knowingly, “He choked here last year.” As the man spoke, Norman hit his tee shot to within a club length of the cup. As the ball came to rest, the crowd began to move. Nearly every­ one headed for the 18th tee — or the park­

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label. They’re rolling our way for a g g Club 5.

If anything, The Fenwicks are a study in rock ’n roll sacrifice, net­ working and '.;4 showbiz chops. For all their up to date sound they got together from the most unlikely begin­ nings. Front men Steve Schub and Jim Corrieri got together in ’89 as theatre warts at NYU, anxious to _____ During"anshnt The Fenwicks play Club 5 April 14. in Israel, they met up with then-expatriate Skynyrd drum­ an aesthetic of pessimism that seems mer Artimus Pyle who took notice and abundant in new music today. 1 believe in moved on. primary art vs. interpretive art.” With part­ Back in New York City, Schub was ner Jim Corrieri as the motif man, and working the night shift at the Park Suite with his attitude of not attaching himself to Hotel when the Skynyrd tour bus pulled in.

Steve and Jim reestablished their connec­ the downside, The Fenwicks embody the old world party spirit of “happy time” for tion and were advised to move to everyone.

Jacksonville. Steve Schub credits Artimus They did good in setting up The Pyle with assembling their band. Pyle pur­ Fenwicks. Musically, their breadth is joy­ loined the players from Pili-Pili to propel ous. All of us guitaroids know Carlo The Fenwicks. As a result, one of the Mercieri already as one fiery player. more magical events that is music occurred. Solid players committed them­ Carlo's jazz-rock lines are the way to be in this band and his on-the-mark wah wah selves to an outside artistic vision. For the next 18 months, drummer Ken Nasta, gui­ gets The Fenwicks funk pace going all over the CD. tarist Carlo Mercieri, bassist Ed Richardson and percussionist Chris Pyle Inside and out of The Fenwicks, Steve Schub still sees himself as an actor. He’s (Artie's son) did the exhausting commute from here to New York to get the Fenwicks done film (with Crispin Glover) and lots of off the ground. Sandwiched in, the guys stage. This is a valuable vitae in a working kept their gigs to their various projects rock band. Though they’ve worked so hard here at home. Mystic Dino, Royal Trucks to date, their bout of dues paying has only and whatever Pili came their way. just begun. Their brilliant lyric could sum it Steve Schub sees all this as healthy. “1 all up for the showbiz bitch-goddess: feel each player needs to have their indi­ You’re not my swinging sister, you’re not vidual outlets. That way when they come my bleeding brother, you’re just another into The Fenwicks, we have a unique col­ deadly mother.” lection of parts. The Fenwicks will never nullify into one big blah.’’ The ska angle has brought The Fenwicks their ultimate The Fenwicks perform April 4, 9 P-M-aj commercial potential. The band drives as Club 5, 1028 Park St. in Five Points. 3565555. Tickets are 36.

I

Atlantic Beach ° 241-5024

hard as anything Desmond Dekker or Leapy Lee could have hoped for. “I grew up listening to Madness and that pulse reaches the audience.” The Fenwicks could be your party band but Steve Schub’s theatrical bent is what you look at.

Steve sings in an authoritative, declam­ atory vein that relates the band’s message instantly. “Sound systems in New York suck, so 1 had to reach out. My mother couldn't hear the words.” Member of No Tribe doesn’t slur a syllable. In Schub’s words: “a sense of mirth and joviality that kills angst on contact.”

Though Schub is the lyricist, he is a performer first. "1 don’t enjoy writing. It’s so tempting to take the easy way. There’s

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Viltagl Ponte VedraBeach^owi" 9°° Saw9rass MANATEE RAY'S. Live ReggalX. 314 N. First St. NORTH SHORE GRILLE. Pili Pili Aoril R • n;« April 7-9. • Wind Jammer and the Bav Strppt^R?iOp'

9M0.T“' Thura' Fri'Sun- • 4329 Blanding Blvd. 777-

Tumbleweed April 8 aRl ivBAR Ac D GRILLE Blanding Blvd 272-1428 n’US,C' n ancl Sat ‘ 74

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OVERSIDE CLURS_______

SMMSMjSHS music, Mon-Wed. 401 N. First St. 246-6373P

Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877.

07 Atlantic THE ROSE & CROWN. Bush Doctors, April 14. • Nioht Crew- APnl 21 • • 246 Solana Rd., Ponte Vedra Beach. £00-/030.

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Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221.

daLnUce N'9tk ThuJ'" Proaressive/Allemative Pointe. 3» 55?5 ' Thure-Sal' • 1028 part< St. in Five

Springtime

SAN MARCO/SOUTHBANK/ MANDARIN CLUBS_________ THa ®GUARE Enc and lhe Furys, April 7-9. • L sa Kelly and Take Note, April 13. • Open Mike with San Marco Blvd. 399-4422.

CATTAILS CAFE AND MANATEE LOUNGE. Longineu Parsons, Apnl 8 & 9. • 11700 San Jose Blvd. 262-2120.

CRAWDADDY’S. Top 40 dance music, Wed-Sun • 1643 Prudential Dr, Southbank Riverwalk. 396-3546 RAMADA INN MANDARIN Sherrill Wilson, Wed-Sat. Karaoke with TNT, Tues. • I-295 and SR 13. 268-8080.

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The Jacksonville Spring Fair runs through April 10 and is on Lot O of the Metropolitan Park annex across from the Coliseum. Admission is $ 1.50-S2.50. 353-7770.

DOWNTOWN CLUBS

ST. AUGUSTINE CLUBS

FAT TUESDAY. Pili Pili. April 7, 8 pm. • Bush Doctors April 14. • Night Crew, April 21. • Bush Doclore Apr 28. • College Night. Thurs. • 2 Independent Dr. #222 at the Jacksonville Landing. 353-0444.

MILK BAR. Old Wave Night with D.J. Who. Mon. College Night. Thurs. • Ladies Night, Fri • Future World9Leaders Night, all ages, Sat. • 128 W. Adams

BOGIE'S LOUNGE. Jay “Bird" Chalmers, Fri and Sat night and Sun brunch. • Ponce de Leon Golf and Conference Resort, 4000 US 1 N. 824-2821.

THE CONCH HOUSE. Jerry Melfi, April 7-10. • 57 Comares Ave. 829-8646.

THE MILLTOP Don Oja Dunaway, Sun, 5 pm. • John Winter, Mon, 5 pm. • Squid Row. Tues, 9 pm. • Brothers and Sisters, 5 pm and Those Guys, 9 pm, Wed. 0 Jobotodi, Thur, 9 pm. *19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329 O.C. WHITE’S. Decoy. April 15-16. • Marc Barnardo, Sun. • Alan Lager, Mon. • Bob Patterson. Tue. • Brian Green, Wed. • Damn Moose, Thurs. -118 Avenida Menendez. 824-0808.

OSCAR'S. Live bluegrass, Wed and Thur. -614 Euclid Ave North Vilano Beach. 829-3794.

PANAMA HATTIES. Country music and free line dance instruction, Thurs. • Contemporary Dance, Upstairs. Fri and Sal. • 2125 A1A, St. Augustine Beach 471-2255.

PASSPORT JOE'S BEACH CLUB CAFE. Dance music, Fri and Sat. • A1A South at Fourth St., St. Augustine Beach. 471-6722.

SCARLETT O'HARA'S. Alley Cals through April 9. • Fulcrum Cliff Huber, April 11-16. • Mojo, Sun. • 70

St. 356-MILK (6455).

AMELIA ISLAND/ FERNANDINA BEACH CLUBS DOWN UNDER. J.Fl. Trio. April 9. • Hwy A1A and Intracoastal Waterway. 261-1001.

PALACE SALOON. Grand Opening Party with Down Time. April 8-9. • Karaoke. Sun-Tues. 117 Cent BRASS RAIL SALOON. 12 N. SecondIS’jj^^grle RITZ-CARLTON Lounge en ertainmenL LesJOeM

S^^0ASi^™..Amelia Island. (904) 277-1100.

ORANGE PARKCLUBS— ATTITUDES. Karaoke Mon-Su‘ Dance mUSIC'

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Lessons 7 pm ^sThure and Sun. • 797 Blanding

CHApI7 cIX dance lessons. Mon. Wed and Fri. •

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TRADEWINDS Bob Patterson. Sat. 5-8 pm • Nigel Charlotte St. 829Pickering. Fri, Sun, 5-8 pm. • 124 Ch»rtntt» WhFtE LION. Chuck Nash, Thurs. • 20 Cuna St., St. Augustine. (904) 829-2388.

• Jazz Brunch with Bill

and San Marco Ave. 824-3256. U

music. • Open Mic Night, Mon.

uam.

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

SPORTS

The Cup Another kind offootball is coming to Jacksonville.

By Jay Polachek

_

a close one reporter stood up and asked if I inke thought America was mature enough to host the World Cup. “America has nroven time and again that it’s a place for big events - and there’s none bigger than the World Cup. 1 think we’re definitely mature enough. As a matter of fact, we’re

good part of my 23 years trying| h□ get sex, and now they tell I can t have >t m

ans in Europe call it football, while I®—™ fans in this country refer to it as gj30 soccer. No matter what name you ■ give it, the World Cup is coming to town. For the first time ever, an American stadium will host the World Cup and Jacksonville is getting in on the action.

Since Jacksonville is one of a very few Southeastern cities to host the United States Soccer Team, there aren’t going to be many opportunities for Northeast Floridians too see them play. The one chance you will have to see live World Cup soccer action in Northeast Florida is when the U.S. takes on Muldova, a Russian team, in an exhibition game at Wolfson Park.

Soccer, despite its relatively low stand­ ing in the U.S., is one of the most highly watched spectator sports in the world.

And the World Cup is the grandaddy of all soccer tournaments. According to Dean Linke, press officer for the United States Men National Soccer Team, 30 billion peo­ ple from 190 countries will watch the games. That’s two-thirds of the world’s population. In addition, the World Cup Committee has sold every ticket possible — 3.5 million of them. Linke and Al

Latimer, executive director of the Jacksonville Sports Development Authority, hope that the local exhibition game is just as well received. “We’re hop­ ing to see the same response [as we saw with the NFL] here in Jacksonville on April 16," said Latimer.

During a recent press conference, national team members Alexi Lalas and Jeff Agoos conducted a phone interview.

Agoos, who plays defender, has been a member of the U.S. national team pro­ gram since 1985. Lalas, also a defender, is considered one of the most charismatic members of the team. While playing with Rutgers University, Lalas was unanimously voted the college player of the year in 1991, winning the Hermann Trophy.

Lalas set the stage with an ear-shatter­ ing yelp to start out the interview. When asked why he chooses to sport a goatee, Lalas replied, “Some people wear earrings and some shave their heads, a goatee is comfortable for me it’s who 1 am. 1 guess you can say I’m a product of my upbring­ ing.” When asked how he felt about the Swedish soccer coach prohibiting his play­ ers from having sex while in competition, Lalas chuckled when he said, 'Tve spent a

theAgoos talked about ‘he team^s expecta­ tions "If we prepare well, we can p_y-----any team in the World Cup. We feel we can do well and beat all three teams in our divi­ sion.”

This team has experience.

It is the same U.S. team that won the 1991 Gold Cup, won the first ever U.S. Cup in 1992

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and defeat- America’s guys in search of the World Cup.

ed England 2-0, which helped eliminate them from fur­ ther World Cup action this year.

Even though the team feels confident they can win, Lalas and Agoos both agreed that Germany, Italy, Argentina and Brazil present big challenges. “There’s a lot of tradition behind teams like Germany and Argentina, and that can always pose a problem,” said Agoos.

Finally, as the press conference drew to

ready to go right now if we wanted to,” replied Linke.

The U.S. National Team takes on Muldova April 16, 7:30 p.m. at Wolfson Park. Tickets are S36 for special seating on the field, $26 for sideline seating and $13.50 for general admission seating.

Tickets are available at the Jacksonville Coliseum Box Office and all Ticketmaster outlets. For more information, call (904) 630-4087.

SPORTS

Play Ball!

Baseball is back — and Mike might visit.

By Jay Polachek

rickets chirping in the hot, balmy night, girls in skimpy bikinis parading around the beaches and old men wearing bermuda shorts, long white socks and sandals. All these prove that summer isn’t far away, but there is one indicator that tops them all — the opening day of baseball season.

Hot dogs, peanuts, sno-cones and cold beer all bring the same thought to mind. Just the thought of sitting behind home plate lis­ tening to a scratchy recording of the nation­ al anthem, followed six and half innings later by a community singing of “Take Me ' Out to the Ball Game” causes pangs of nos­ talgia in any person ever taken to a ball game as a kid. The season couldn’t start at a better time.

Around here, opening day means it’s time to go out to Wolfson Park and take in a Jacksonville Suns game. For those of you who are new in town — or haven’t been pay­ ing attention for the past 25 years — the Suns are the AA franchise for the Seattle Mariners. There’s just one stop between AA and the big dance, so chances are you FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5,1994

And guess what, the Birmingham Barons are coming to town May 12-14. Since Jordan’s been assigned to Birmingham, you can see the greatest basketball player in the world play minor league baseball in Jacksonville.

But you better hurry and get your tickets, because, according to Peter Bragan Jr., gen­

I

might catch a glimpse of someone who may appear on a trading card worth hun­ dreds of dollars. Just because these guys aren't playing in a climate-controlled dome that houses a Hard Rock Cafe and a 100room hotel, don’t think they don’t have tal­ ent.

In the movie Bull Durham, minor-league baseball was made light of. If you saw the Suns' performance last year — when they finished in the Southern League cellar with < a record of 59-81 -the movie may have seemed a painfully accurate depiction of minor league baseball in Jacksonville. This i he suns Makoto year, however, the Suns hope to turn things around. According to Todd Budnick, direc­ tor of marketing for the club, the upcoming season looks “very promising from what we can see. We've got a few guys returning and we’ve picked up a couple of pitchers from Riverside that had 12 wins each last year. re'' This is a big help because pitching was where we were pretty weak last season."

The Chicago White Sox, the club Suns themselves here snot i r a^out Michael Jordan’s been trying to make, has the ing department, lethande? Ron ViLT?’ an AA franchise in Birmingham, Alabama. ^tobetheSunsnumberones^V^

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24-year-old was a combined 10-8 last year, splitting the summer between Riverside (the Mariner’s A franchise) and Jacksonville. He pitched a no hitter into the seventh inning in his AA debut against Orlando. Villone is a lefty to watch out for.

The Suns hope that Makoto “Mac” Suzuki, a right-handed pitcher, will be another bright spot on the roster this year. If Suzuki makes it to the big show — and the word is that he has a good shot at it — he would be the first Japanese-born player in history to do so.

In 1993, shortstop Desi Relaford, who graduated from Sandalwood High, hit .244 with 8 home runs and 47 RBI’s in 133 games playing for his hometown team. A top prospect in the Mariners’ organization, the reason he’s coming back for another season in AA may be that his 35 errors last season tied him for the league lead among shortstops.

The Suns hope slugger Arquimedez Pozo will help their team score lots of runs this season. Pozo, who spent the entire sea­ son in Riverside, led all minor league base­ ball in doubles (44), was fourth in batting average (.342) and was named California League Rookie of the Year. Pozo kept busy through the winter, playing ball in the Dominican Republic and will hopefully be °n I?5 °J 8ame from opening day. s the time of the year when the two “Play Mr'a*words ,hat you can hear

Jacksonville Suns' first home stand is wllif ? r?'

Memphis Chicks visit the Huntsville Sm's^ a

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Sneaky CoaHon Is this guy talking about stealth candidates?

he Christian Coalition claims it doesn’t back candidates. It claims it doesn’t run stealth cam­ paigns. It claims its voter guides are non-partisan. It claims to control mas­ sive voter blocs. Is the Christian Coalition telling the truth? You decide.

The following text is transcribed from a presentation by Dr, Max C. Karrer at the Christian Coalition’s Road to Victory con­ ference in Washington D.C., last September. Karrer is the North Florida Coordinator for the Christian Coalition of Florida and the chairman of the finance committee to the board of trustees for Regent University. He also serves on the Executive Board of the Republican Party of Duval County. Titled “Using Computers at the Grass Roots,” the presentation attract­ ed a standing-room-only crowd. This is what he said: First you select your churches. There are some churches where you would not necessarily find what 1 call Christians in the Church. You select your Evangelical churches, your renewed churches, your Charismatic churches. You don’t select your liberal, mainline denominations. If you select your churches right, you’ll have a 90 percent match on voters who will be with us. That’s what we do.

58-B Spanish St. St. Augustine, FL 32084 (904) 829-3799

sarily do to the general public.

To make a long story short, he beat her 65 percent to 35 percent — it was a land­ slide. And they didn’t know what hit them, because — you want to talk about stealth campaigns — it was quietly done and they didn’t realize they were in trouble, until it was too late. This also convinced the state Republican Party that they better deal with the Christian Coalition, at least in Duval County, because every candidate we got

behind won in Duval in the '92 elections.

As an example of This was the method how this works, we had we used. a legislative race where n We vv V3 VlV/ll don’It g.v give our we had a female _’ ’ . What Jewish lawyer — liberal, OlflCS, they COITI© list to anybody. v " wp we will will rin do is is print feminist — endorsed by labels for some people.

NOW, who had That we will do — I knocked out three sold him the labels, I years ago a pro-life didn’t give them to Christian. We didn’t him. It’s legal then, know what we were see.

For five dollars! doing — they poured The thing 1 want to NARAL money in and say about building up a managed to beat him Christian data voter by 200 votes. And it base is: political candi­ was all because we dates, or politicians, didn’t know what we only understand two were doing. things, and that’s By this time she was money and votes. And the darling of the if they think you con­ Democrats in the trol a lot of votes, you Florida legislature. _ __________ suddenly become very They gave her ail the r- • ■ 1 1 powerful in their eyes. committee choice Politicians in our section think we have assignments; they had bigger and better a bigger data voter base than we do. But >,.d „soj on. And we had a fel- we don’t change that perception, we don’t plans for her and running for his first political low who was iuiuirn5 — — .. tell them. They come to us now. When office - named Jim Fuller - who jumped someone wants to run for office, they come to the Christian Coalition; they want into the race. .

This time we had our Christian voter to talk to us. It gives you - and not just for data base. We had our church liaison elections - it gives you tremendous lobbycommittees. We had our voter guides inq power with the legislator, because they going. And we could quietly - we were not think you have this huge bloc of voters allowed to give them away, so we charged that you can swing - though you can t him five dollars - but we printed, labels fo ^Th^artic^/irst appeared in The Freedom him of the Christian voters, which enable him to put out directed mailings to the Writer.

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299 Atlantic Blvd. Atlantic Beach 241-9026 Open 7 days 10 til 9 p.m.

Don't Miss - Connie May Fowler 8 pm Saturday, April 16 FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5. 1994

'

Artist Series presents

Dental

Breakthroughs And You

\ I

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*

4

Is it true that lasers are now being used in dentistry?

Yes. Since 1990, they’ve been used to perform millions of pro­ cedures in the United States and more than 20 other coun­ tries throughout the world.

with the WYNTON MARSALIS SEPTET

I

By J. Bradly Hall, D.M.D.

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WV N TO IM j.AARSAUS

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Why are dental lasers considered a breakthrough?

They allow dentists to intercept gum disease at an earlier stage than ever before, often sparing patients from more invasive forms of treatment. The laser can remove or reshape other problem areas in the soft tissues of the mouth, even relieving the discomfort of canker sores. The laser reduces bleeding and often eliminates the need for stitches after surgery. It also limits the risk of infection. From the patient’s point of view, the biggest advantage is increased comfort. While no form of treatment is truly painless, the laser dramatically reduces the need for anesthetic injections. The need for postoperative pain medication is often reduced or eliminated.

i

TUESDAY, APKJL12

Ftoridla Theatre 2harge:by-phonb 632-3373

I

__________ Tickets also available at oil

Bring this ad for $1.00 Off vthe Seafood Buffet!

■

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The Biggest Catch of the day Is Best Western’s Seafood Buffet!

J. BRADLY HALL, D.M.D.

$13.95

Every Day - Prime Rib Special or ;,.,.t8.?Z' New York Strip Steak includes Soup and Salad Bar $9 95 New Dinner Hours 5pm - 10pm Daily

General, Cosmetic & Laser Dentistry

Don’t

Call now for an appointment

——I

11571 San Jose Blvd.

Mandarin • 1 mi S. of 1-295

our ctally breakfast buffet

£ s

'Ms.

Bl

i I-295 and US-17 O^4Se Park

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5,1994

ip

$

How can I learn more about the dental laser?

You are welcome to call our office. We’d be happy to send you material on the dental laser, or call today for a courtesy consult.

2S2-S188

___________

■

Are they safe?

Yes. The dental laser in our office is so precise that it only removes a few cell layers at a time. It is also a pulsed laser, so in any given second of use, it is actually off more than it is on. Most laser procedures use less than three watts of power, less than many portable phones.

Who can be treated with the laser?

Potentially, almost anyone who has a problem relating to oral soft tissue. Because of the reduced need for anesthesia, pregnant or medically compromised patients especially bene­ fit. Many children are also less fearful with the laser. But the laser is not a cure-all and is not appropriate for every proce­ dure. The question of whether or not the laser will be used during a specific treatment is a matter to be discussed by the dentist and his or her patient.

7:30 PM

STRAIGHT

dope

THE DEPOT IS HERE

Custom Made Jewelry

I f

Bodybuilding

High Quality

By Cecil Adams

Exquisite Service Visit our new location at 10500 San Jose Blvd.

Next to Luria’s Open Mon-Sat 10-6

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jewelers (Lr e c I I v e I y Unique

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----- Sbjs^ayrnZ^ws^d.-----

J I Cl have thought about becoming a gj bodybuilder, but I’m getting Ej mixed signals from my peers.

LI The guys say I’ll catch more girls, but the girls say most guys they’ve dated who are into body­ building have very small penises.

From observing many bodybuilders in pose trunks I’d say the girls seem to be right. Please help. — S.C.

up. I don’t do this only out of a recognition that if everybody did likewise 90 percent of all human conversation would cease. So let me pass along the following comforting admixture of conjecture and BS. Noting that the earliest citation of "on the fritz" in the Oxford English Dictionary is from 1903, word detectives William and Mary Morris guess that it all started with the comic strip The Katzenjammer Kids, which began around that time. The kids, If your concern is that having a godlike Hans and Fritz, make trouble for the physique is going to shrink your privy Captain. The Morrises note, ‘‘By the end of member, S., let me assure you that my the strip, their actions had the effect of endowments are perfectly normal. It is putting whatever plans the Captain had true, however, that a lot of bodybuilders made permanently on the Fritz.” Now stop seem to be underdeveloped in this depart­ that groaning. Here’s another try from the ment. The problem isn’t bodybuilding per late John Ciardi: while conceding that the se, but rather the use by its more reckless thing at root is “U & U” (unknown and practitioners of androgenic-anabolic unknowable), he reports having worked as steroids. Steroids help you bulk up, but a youth with various jamoches who, having have numerous side effects, among them broken some item of equipment, would “testicular atrophy," as the medical books onomatopoeically remark, “She’sa all pfrput it, plus reduced testosterone and low­ rrit,” a sound intended to suggest a “lip ered sperm count. One study of 20 body­ fart,” as John delicately put it. From there builders on steroids found that eight had to “on the fritz” is a short step. testicular atrophy. 1 suppose testicular atro­ phy isn’t the same as penile atrophy, but it’s unlikely the women were in there mea­ n was just doing New York Times suring with a micrometer — and there s no J crossword puzzle #1203 and was question that one way or another you wind IJ amazed at the clue for 41 Across: up with less volume in the codpiece.

“Writer Cecil of The Straight Dope.”

Then again, another study found that Are you really that well known to bodybuilders taking steroids “had a signifi­ become a clue? I mean, couldn’t they cantly higher coital and orgasmic frequen­ just use some reference such as cy than did comparison athletes,” although “second president,” “patriot they also had more trouble getting it up - Samuel,” or “photographer Ansel?” an inevitable result, I am inclined to think, -D.S. of trying to do more with less. Other side No mystery. A new editor, Will Shortz, effects of steroids are gynecomastia (breast development in men) and a long has just taken over the NYT crossword, list of other ailments ranging from.cardiac and how better to demonstrate his vast eru­ than to mention me? As for the ques­ LogbSS, manynoef who^take up the dition tion of obscurity, you don’t want to make the clues too easy. Maybe he should have used “second president.” for a worse one.

w A. #hat is the derivation of the \JK/idiom “on the fritz for V V something that is not working? — S.A.

Is there something you need to get Straight? Cecil Adams can deliverthe Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Highway, Suite 11, Jacksonville, Florida

32256.

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Johnny Rockets, just call 1 v. 355-8718 and ask for David, //

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Jacksonville Landing 355-8718

The newest trend in voice per­ sonal ads has arrived in' Jacksonville. The SinglesLine, using the latest technology avail­ able, allows callers to hear, place and respond to “voice introduc­ tions” from the privacy and com­ fort of their home or office, with­ out having to call a costly 900 or 976 number.

Instead, singles can call free, 24 hours a day, and listen to other people describe themselves and who they’d like to meet. Because it’s a local call, no charge will ever appear on your phone bill.

All single people are invited to call the SinglesLine and experi­ ence what a convenient, private and fun way it can be to communi­ cate with other singles from the Jacksonville area. The system is fully automated so you never talk to a staff member.

The new SinglesLine, which is really many lines, is the latest one operated by OnLine America, Inc.Similar systems enjoy tremendous popularity in several other cities including Minneaplolis, Denver and Atlanta, The Jacksonville SinglesLine can be reached with any touch­ tone phone by calling 398-3133, day or night.

ADVUJtnSlilENT

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

THE NEWS OF

Featuring Florida Coastal

Cuisine

weird

Transvestite Checking

Serving Breakfast - Lunch - Dinner 7 am - 9 pm Dally

By Chuck Shepherd

Gumbos - Creoles - Chowders Pasta - Seafood - Steak With thle ad get a free bowl of our award winning chowder with any entree

Waterfront Dining at the Lighthouse

On Salt Run

St Augustine, Florida

&26-4002 d, wad- rwty rftt&wZa 'd rw£y “/ca-uadd --

we &oue\o, dwtftniAe {on, cVJkethen/ yaw w in/ tire/ rn'GotJ ^Od/ S^wtAenUo utopian/,

‘s/ze&A/ Se-c^-aad/ an/

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qa/td&n/ sa-lacb Im . . / ji^Ae^sLs mtOMunq/ ^an/ yaw ab: Lunch Sun-Fri 11:30-2:30-^^ Dinner 4pm Daily Happy Hour 4-6pm Corner of SR3 & 312 - 471-3835 St. Augustine, FL 32084

See Clearly Without Glasses Or Contacts Free Seminars by the RK Specialists Learn about the latest techniques for the correction of Nearsightedness • Farsightedness • Astigmatism Tuesday, April 5 Tuesday, April 26 6:00 p.m.

6:30 p.m.

Jacksonville Eye Center King & Prince Beach Resort 2001 College Street St. Simon’s Island, GA Seating is limited, so call 355-5555 to reserve your seat.

Robert I. Schnipper M.D.

• In February, the Royal Bank: of Scotland a firing squad at $7,000: “With figures like these, should we wonder why people don’t announced that it would begin to ssu trust government? 1 believe 1 can figure out extra check-cashing ID cards to its trans a way to shoot somebody for less than SO vestite customers who request them that they might have separate cards depict­ $7,000.”

• Attorney Daryl Blue announced in ing themselves dressed as male and December that he would appeal the confemd’fficiihfeT’^according tTTbank viction of his client Freddie’Armstro'ng'for °Lv±an ’ according sta bbing an 81 .year<)ld preacher stabbing 81-year-old preacher to to death spokesman. an d cuttin f( hj and cuttingg o off hiss head head before before stunned stunned q ! onlookers who included police officers, at Bastrop, La., La., funeral funeral home. home. Blue Blue claims claims • About 15 customers had gathered their aa Bastrop, grocery items at a Safeway in Oxon Hill, that Armstrong was obviously insane at the Md„ shortly after 10 a.m. on Christmas time: “A rational man does not decapitate morning and were lined up at the check­ a man’s head in the presence of a police out lanes, but no cashiers were on duty, officer." » The Swedish hockey team's coach Curt and no one answered calls to the back of the store. Local police were called and Lundmark, on why he did not protest more after investigating found that the store was vigorously a disallowed goal by his team in supposed to be closed but that the its Olympic loss to Canada in February: Christmas Eve crew had accidentally left “Sweden’s influence in international hock­ the lights on and the doors unlocked, giv­ ey is like a duck fart in Africa.” ing shoppers the impression it was open.

• In October in Iran, where celebratory Creme do la Weird gunfire is traditional at weddings, a guest • The London newspaper The Indepen­ named Rasool lost control of his automatic dent reported in January on the Monday weapon at a wedding in Lorestan province, Club, a group of older men who meet accidentally killing six people and wound­ Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays at ing 14. the Porchester Baths in London to be ° In Champion, Ohio, in January, Rev. “schmeissed” —whipped while naked in a Thomas Gillum, presiding at the burial of a steam room by men wielding a ritual yel­ Korean War veteran, was accidentally shot low wig, then immersed in icecold water. in the face when the local VFW honor “Your body is like a car,” said one, “and a guard fired a four-gun salute. schmeiss is like being serviced." The ritual ° The international food company Nestle has been practiced for more than 60 years, UK was fined about $20,000 in January for and advocates claim it produces deep injuries suffered by its employee Alex relaxation and a longer life span.

Tuvey-Smith, 36, at a plant in York, England. While cleaning excess chocolate off the sides of a giant mixing bowl, he Least Competent Police • The victim of a car theft while visiting sl'PPed and fell in, triggering the mixing Omaha, Neb., in February, Algona, Iowa, paddles, which whipped him for more judge Joseph Straub walked into the lobby than a minute before they were shut off. of a local police station around 10 p.m. to Car salesman Joseph LaRaviere 29 attempting to help a couple who had run file a report rather than wait for officers to ou of gas in their car near Ruskin in come to the scene. According to the judge, the u buzzer October, got his right index finger stuck in he pushed u,c >Jzzei uon the locked front the gasoline filler pipe. It remained thP« d°Or several times and1 saw officers movfor about two hours before fireffgh ers n8- ar°Und —*nSide -------’,butt no one answered. arrived and rescued him “c"gnters Usino Using tho the naw pay nF,™,, phone in the lobby, he called the station to ask that an officer Well-Put open the door and take his report. Ten •Roy Kinne, 28, an unemolovert minutes -passed before ran officer _opened ’ ____________ ______ homeSonatha nan who happened to be *'■ the door - He went back inside, and' ‘101 nome on the December afternoon w.r, e more t":"'‘----passed■ ■before ' —offi"• moreaPPeared minutes another y!ar-°ld boy fel1 throughTheHet" ’cer T1 appeared. Then he left, and nothing iiraXto happened lol10 more minutes. . ---Exasperated, the judge, still in the lobby, called 911. A few minutes later, a sergeant Malmsladl “fiTn a“r'IMs' “ke came out, then «<en went » back in, and finally.a tew minutes after that, an officer drove up to the front of the building, got out of her squad car, and took Straub’s report. »d^

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'0<he’te

p’Korda "defeS'ng ft J ™."ager

Performing Radial Keratotomy Since 1980

JACKSONVILLE EYE CENTER <B>

Sunday night curry."

8 be effects of a

Least Dignified Death in October, a police officer in Rock siand, Ill., showing his partner how a felow officer had accidentally shot and killed imself during a training exercise three death □rl'er’ accidental,y shot himself t0

2001 College St. • Jacksonville, FL 32204 FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

o, 5e2d y°ur News of the Weird to Chuck H,nPh^rd' Folio Weekly, 9456 PhilhP5 y, Ste. 1 ]t Jacksonville, FL, 32256.

Restaurant ■

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N/S 3585 St. John?AreI387-3585. J$f D' ni9h^ FB ing vegetarian

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9456 PflllliP5

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cuisine, pasta,

8500. $$.'

FB Rsu"est'

Basi Fa^e lta*ian menu with homemade breads TSm&Be^a0' M’S. 1938 Park St. 633.9005 $“ ads B& JTo yu? sa"dwiches. steaks and sal387-331*1 &$ D' M’5' FB HA' N/S‘ 4409 Roosevel1 Blvd

Campeche Bay Cantina Homemade Mexican dishes steafaandfrllS’' burrltos- 'enchiladas, fresh seafood, steals and fried ice cream. D, nightly. FB. HA N/S 8120

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Harbour Lights’ Cocktail Lounge

ONE CANNOT THJBK WELL, LOVE

well9 or sleep well if one has NOT DINED WELL9 SO JOIN US AND

Enjoy down-home seafood at Oscar's Old Florida Grill in Vilano Beach.

Atlantic Blvd. 727-5050. $$.

The Loop. Chicago-style pizza, burgers, sandwiches, sal­ ads. L & D, daily. B/W. N/S HA. 9332 Arlington Expy.

725-0850. $. , J Nero's Cafe New York and Sicilian style pizza, veal and seafood combinations L & D, daily. N/S HA. 3607 University Blvd , N. 743-3141. $$ Pattaya Thai Thai style shrimp, beef and vegetarian cut sine. L & D, T-F; D, S-Sn. B/W? N/S. HA. 10916 Atlantic Blvd. 646-9506. $. , ..

The Thai Room Spicy but not hot Thai cuisine. Kiew wan chicken, pork sateh. Take out. L & D daily. B/W. N/S. HA. 7001-45 Merrill Rd. 743-0025. $.

Tree Steak House. Steaks, chicken, seafood. D, nightly FB. N/S. HA. 942 Arlington Rd. 725-0066. $$.

AVQNDALE/RIVERSIDE/WESTSIDE Biscottis. Avondale pizza, sandwiches and cappuccino 8, L & D, T-Sn 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387

Cafe Express Dine in, take out and delivery. Salads, hot and cold sandwiches, charbroiled burgers, premium pizza. L & D daily. HA. N/S. 10464 Phillips Hwy., 2605155. $.

Cha-Cha's. Specializes in authentic Mexican cuisine. L & D daily FB HA. N/S. Rd. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $.

Gubbio's Italian, pasta specialties, lunch buffet. L & D, M-S’ D Sn. B/W. 5111 Baymeadows Rd. (at Old Kings Rd).'731-9900. $$. ........... _ Hala Cafe. Breakfast, sandwiches and Middle Eastern cuisine. B, L & D, M-S. 9951 Baymeadows Rd. 739-3354.

h KpD,cdTy9^eN^aH^l^i WWW: Magic Wok. Chinese cuisine. L & D, daily. B/W R. 8725 Old Kings Rd. 733-7533. $. ..

Mediterrania Greek and Italian cuisine, seafood, soup, pasta. L, M-F; D, M-S. B/W. 3877 Baymeadows Rd.

Creole Queen. Jambalaya gumbo and Cajun boudm (spicy stuffed sausage) L, M F, D, F. B/W. 717 Post St.

Cantonese. L & D, daily. FB. HA. 8617 Baymeadows Rd. PlaTon the Green. Continental menu. B, L & D, daily FB HA Embassy Suites Hotel, 9930 Baymeadows Rd.

^^r4VD°SPbr'^chA,?nri^n HASiN/SS%1°«

Wm® & Dibe Ove® tie® Water Your hosts and owners since 1950, the Connell family invite you to join locals & tourists alike for fine dining in one of St. Augustine’s most unique settings.

o Serving Fine Seafood, Steaks, Chicken, & Prime Rib • Children’s Menu ° Open Air Porch 0 Fish Feeding Windows

OPEN 7 DAYS Tory'sJfe Continental cuis^ aepes salads L, M-S. B/W. 9842 Ba^m"°L 1D, daily. B/W

HAn%S. 9862 Old BaPymeadows Rd.. Deerwood

salads, sand-

KCB^-frc/ Barter..

Shopping Center. 647116b $5.

specialties, tern-

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salads, sandwiches. L. M-S; D, nightly. »• Ave. 389-3561. $$. , . . & D T.$. 2151 Lane Lane Ave. Cafe. Gourmet cusine. L & U

384-7301. $. | chicken, seafood. L & Nino's Pasta House Pasta, veai, <-

are at Jackson*

Beach unless othe™,se noted) *

American 1000%c Blvd.. Ponte

Mon-Fri open at 4pm, Sat, Sun & Holidays open at 12 noon 135 Avenida Menendez, Next to City Marina St. Augustine

829-6578 FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5. 1994^>

Cactus

Restaurant

WHEN IN FERNANDINA BEACH...

M) AS WE LOCALS D©?

Go ahead.

Give Northeast

Florida a piece of

your mind.

On She Back Page.

d I r e c ‘ _ CONTINUE

(and it’s a great reason to come to Fernandina Beach)

FOLIO WEEKLY

On the ocean. L & D daily. FB. HA. R. 1Z N. Dolphin8 Depot Lowcountry cuisme, shecrat^soup crab cakes, Bourbon chicken D, daily. B/W. ha. / Fkrt^Stree?^ chicken. L & D daily. FB HA 807 N. First St. 246-6555.

We have the Best Shrimp Fresh Seafood

9456 Phillips Highway Suite 11 Jacksonville, Florida 32256

Fried, Broiled, & Grilled T

Oyster Bar & Cocktails

LEANING TOWARDS ITALIAN JSSL TONIGHT?

Closed Monday Open daily at 5:00 PM

PASTA House, 779-7S68 7457103rd St (Just off 1-295 West of Overpass)

731-1011

f RESTAURANT^

Since 1982

‘

Located under A1A Bridge on the Intercoastal Fernandina Beach, Fl

Fax 733-4710 , 4456 Hendricks Av. c (Miramar Shpg Ctr)

261-1001

xTBfeWWlMl 4

4

The Good Taste of Worman’s Is Coming to Lakewood

4 4

Watch for our move from San Marco in May

4

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• Gourmet Gift Baskets • Party Platters • Deli Trays • Cheese Platters • Pastry Platters 0 Office Sandwich Platters ° Gourmet Coffees and Teas 0 Desserts 0 Take-Out

4 4 4 4 4

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Voted Best Bakery Best Bagels

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Worman’s Bakery Deli

218 First _ rs-- —cx-ii. «.-»vrwooi.St.

jaSHWF* us,r s» ggs^WiSS The favem^oThem pu^e^e'nu^th beef chick; -

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*i & Bor. Aside from their slow oven-roasted

Tund fresh catch of 'he day. they are also a ° dSbKhS/cS^n.ature beer IS hammerhead red. L & **

825 S°n

88&°196- $'

-/e menu with beef chick-

and tonn,nn I14 dlffer®1t pastas, with choice of sauce

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DOWNTOWN

5uckdseafooda?°R nCa?<onese- Ma"darin food. Peking WBWa,26M^.V n HA. N/S. 11362 San

wiches, homemade souDr'sahdcUHrL5niEl<ei)sand'

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Wg 634-0328re$ B ‘ FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5,1994

daily' B/W

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Dlnei Etl?aic. American and tropical cuisine artdeco decor L & D da.lv, brunch S R Cn err 20;

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Me^ffi^feodaHy.FB.

S^k79affiesT 2F4^9T$°$SP^re' L & daily' B/W:

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Juliette's 5Omnf Hotel. International cuisine, grilled

HA. N/S. The Jacksonville Landing. 358-//Jo. j>j>. go's Cafe Dill salmon, ch.cken Romano, Maine lobster, i ktpd in the register of of histone historic places places.

Italian specialties D M-S. FB. HA. N/S. 900 Sawgrass servirig new American cuisine, me fare includes soups, Xe fon^^^ . ( d salads%u.che and a barbeque pork sandwich with s aw.

Giovanni's. Italian cuisine, pasta, veal, chicken seafood. b & L, M-F, D, F-S. B/W. HA. 1001 Mam St, 356-3100.

D M-S. FB HA N/S. 1161 Beach Blvd 249-7787. $$. $$ '...............

--------- *''noco ^7prhl,an Rjver city Brewing Company. Fresh seafood pasta, burgers, charcuterie Five star diningi by chef Tim Felverin a panoramic riverfront setting. L & D, daily FB. HA. N/S. Haden?Ham Cafe Grilled and cold sandwiches, rotis835 Museum Circle, 398-2299. $$.

The Silver Spoon. Chicken, soups, salads, pastas, nps, quiche, desserts L & D, daily. FB. R. HA. N/S. The Jacksonville Landing 353-4503 $$.

Hans' ^Bistro Veal, beef, fish, shrimp, oysters pasta, Tiger's Eye Restaurant. Sandwiches, salads, daily luncn specials. L, M F. FB. HA. Second floor. Independent rack of lamb. D. nightly. FB R suggested. F-S. HA. N/S. 1728 N Third St. 249-0949. $$.

Square, 1 Independent Dr. 356-8432. $ Harry's Seafood Bar & Grille. Featuring appetizers, raw bar items, catch of the day, chicken pasta, burgers.

Specialties in Cajun cooking L & D, daily. FB. HA. N/S. FERNANDINA BEACH/AMELIA ISLAND 2429 S. Third St. 247-8855. $$ Beech Street Grill. Daily specials, seafood, chicken dish­ Heaven On Earth. Vegetarian specialties, fish, home­ es, extensive wine list. L, F; D, nightly. FB. R. 801 Beech made soups, sandwiches served on seven-grain bread. L St. 277-3662. $$. £ . .. . . & D T-S. B/W. 363-14 Atlantic Blvd , Atlantic Bch. Brett's Waterway Cafe. Seafood, steak, daily specials, 249-6242. $. . , , , • overlooks Fernandina Harbour Marina.

L & D, daily.

FB. Hungry Iguana Cafe Mexi-Cali food, burritos, enchi­ At the foot of Centre St. 261-2660 $$. ladas, tacos, fish. L & D, daily. B/W. N/S. HA. 319 S. Down Under Restaurant.

Broiled, grilled and fried 23rd Ave. 249-9270. $. seafood, steak and chicken, under the Thomas J. Shave Ichiban. Japanese menu with a sushi bar, habachi table Bridge. D, nightly. FB. N/S. A1A at the Intracoastal and western-style seating, L, M-F, Sn; D, M-S. FB. HA. Waterway. 261-1001. $$.

N/S. 675 N. Third St 247-8228. $$$.

Florida House Inn. Southern menu; fried chicken, pork Kim Lien's Chinese and Vietnamese cuisine L & D, chops, catfish, vegetables and desserts served boarding daily B/W. HA. 242 Solano Rd (Winn Dixie at house style.

L, M-S; D, T-S; Brunch, Sn. FB. N/S. 22 y Sawgrass), Ponte Vedra Bch. 285-1995. $.

Third St. 261-3300. $.

King Wu Mandarin and Shanghai style Chinese food.

O'Kane's Irish Pub & Eatery. British and Irish speD, daily. FB. N/S. HA. 1323 S. Third St 246-0567. $$. cialites. L & D, daily. HA. FB. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $Longhorn Steaks. Beef's the thing. L, M-F D, nightly. $$.

FB HA 1515 N. Third St. 241-1661.$$ The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. Elegant dining, The Loop. Chicago-style pizza, burgers, sandwiches, sal­ seafood, aged beef and roasts in The Grill. D, nightly. ads. L & D, daily. B. N/S. HA. 211 N. Third St., Neptune Salads, sandwiches and light meals in The Cafe. B, L & D, Bch 241-8476 14444 Beach Blvd., corner of Beach and daily. Afternoon tea and cocktails served daily in the San Pablo. 223-6611 $ Lobby Lounge. FB. N/S. HA. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy.

Lotus Cantonese and Szechuan style Chinese cuisine, 277-1100. $$-$$$. shrimp Io mein, Peking duck, L & D, daily. B/W. N/S. 610 The Sandbar. Cooked-to-order seafood dishes, open for S Third St. 241-5618 $.

61 years. D, T-Sn. B/W N/S. Forrest Rd. off A1A at the Manatee Ray's. Caribbean style cuisine. Jerk chicken, Intracoastal Waterway. 261-4185. $$. seafood, lobster nachos, burritos & quesadillos. Brunch, The Southern Tip Continental with Southern flair, veal, S-Sn; L, weekends; D, nightly. FB. HA, N/S. 314 First St., lamb, seafood, beef and pasta. L & D, T-S. FB. R 4802 N 241 3138. $$.

Marker 32. Seafood, steaks, gamebirds, pasta, lamb.

First Coast Hwy., Palmetto Walk Shopping Center 261Waterfront dining. D, T-Sn. FB. R. 14549 Beach Blvd.

223-1534. $$.

Mezza Luna. Old World Italian fare, brick wood-burning MANDARIN_______________________ pizza oven. L & D, daily. FB HA N/S. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573, 246-5100 (take out). $$.

American Wok. Chinese buffet, all you can eat. I & D, Miss Judy's. Homestyle cooking. Pork chops, seafood, daily B/W. HA N/S. 10391 Old St. Augustine Rd. chicken, beef. D, nightly. B/W. N/S. H/A 922 S. First St. 268-4430. $.

247-1020. $$.

Bella Pizza. Pizza by the slice or whole, subs, pasta, sal­ North Shore Grille. Urban cooking, eclectic and fresh ads. L & D. M-S. B/W 9426 San Jose Blvd. 733-1976. S. L, M-S; D, M-Sn; brunch, Sn. FB. HA. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Bigtree Cafe. Soup, salads, sandwiches. I & D, M-Sn; B, Atlantic Bch. 246-6633. $$.

S-Sn. HA, FB. 10415 San Jose Blvd. 268-2131. $.

The Oar House. Homemade pizza, wet burrito, fish, Cattails Cafe/ Manatee Lounge. Grilled seafood, chick­ shrimp, chicken, sandwiches. L, daily, D, T-Sn. FB. 4415 en L & D, M-S, FB. HA. N/S. 11700 San Jose Blvd.

Mickler's Rd. at A1 A, Ponte Vedra Bch 285-2636. $$ 262-2120. $$.

Outback Steakhouse. Steaks, fish, chicken and ribs in Herbert's on the Bayou. Cajun cuisine. L & D. daily an Australian atmosphere D, nightly. FB. HA. N/S 3760 S. Third St 247-7888. $$.

4541 $$ "6S San J°Se B,V° ' Merchants Walk' 26°Ragtime Tavern Seafood Grill. Grilled seafood DeLeon. Mexican menu, Polloen-mole. L, M-F; D, M-S. Caiun/Creole accent. L & D, daily FB. HA. N/S 207 ?kT^enoenrd,s- B/W- HA- N/5 9825-6 San Jose Blvd.

Atfantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ 262-5498 $$.

R.P. McMurpy's American style fare, chicken, fish Genghis Khan. Authentic, low-calorie Chinese special-hes. D, M-Sn. B/W. HA. 10601 San Jose Blvd. 268-1668.

Rose & Crown. British style pub D, M-Th; I & D F-Sn ?JGua ,cuisine- steaks, seafood. L & D, daily.

246 Solana Rd., Ponte Vedra Bch. 285-7858. $$ ' FB. HA 3130 Hartley Rd. 268-8080. $$.

Sea Turtle Inn. Seafood, prime rib, chicken. B L & D F'fe .chinese Cuisine. Cantonese,

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1712 San Marco 396-6592 • 204 Broad St 354-5702 FAX 398-9157 FAX 353-4180

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“A Jacksonville Tradition” Since 1923 Delivery Available

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Thank You Jacksonville For 70 Years of Support

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Blvd. 276-2276. $-$$’. dppe,lzers D. T-Sn. 797 Blanding

moOM?,Sn ? Bakeryand Deli New York stYle deli HA

1 •»“ » 459 Kingsley Ave. 264-4118 $ ’ r’ U' K HA' ?eafood Bar and Grille Daily fish soecials ■ B^and^ng 6^^72-2428^ $erS L & da"y FB HA 74

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SOUTHSIDE_______ _______________ Backyard Cafe American homestyle looking burgers, Ragles. I, daily, D, F-S. 10769 Beach Diva. 642-0777. $.

LCafre- Ranch cooking specializing in steaks, 5669209^ and P0*’ L & D' daily 11961 BeaCh B,Vd’

The Dragon. Chinese cuisine, seafood, sesame chicken, Cantonese roast duck. L & D, M-S. HA. N/S. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $.

Hala Cafe. Breakfast, sandwiches, Middle Eastern cui­ sine B, L & D, M-S. 4323 University Blvd., S. 733-1855.

P"61?*?1 «t?r chlTse style chicken, beef, seafood; drfWells Rd 2^0.' $™9h,’y' L & D’ daily' N/S 1607 Osaka Japanese Restaurant. Tempura, sukiyaki, udon

Bfel^tJ. 27r2-^7D$$aily

30 Bland'n3

The Roadhouse. Burgers, chicken wings, deli sandwichBLd5O2U£w>6d1 d L & D' daily' FB‘ 231 Blandin9 Samelli’s Italian. Daily Italian specialties, pasta, veal. R suggested. D, M-Sn. B/W. HA. 2023 Park Ave 269-1331. $$$ Uncle Pu's Chinese Restaurant. Chinese specialties L, M-F. D, nightly. B/W. R. HA 661 Blanding Blvd.

272/1794. $.

Whitey's Fish Camp. Alligator, catfish, seafood cooked to order. L & D, daily. FB. 2032 Cty. Rd. 220. 2694198.

$$.

Wilfried's Cuisine and Cocktails Continental with a German flair, steak, venison, fish. L, M-F; D, M-S. FB. N/S HA. Village Mall Shopping Center, 556 Kingsley Ave. 269-9615. $$.

SAN MARCO/SOUTHBANK__________ Cafe Carmon American cuisine, blackboard menu, spe­ cial desserts, chocolate truffle cake. B, L & D, M-S. B/W. 1986 San Marco Blvd. 399-4488. $$.

Cafe on the Square. Daily seafood catches, beef, lamb, chicken specials. D, nightly. FB. 1974 San Marco Blvd.

399-4848. $$.

The Happy Garden. Chinese buffet. L, M-F & Sn. D, nightly. HA, N/S. 5671 W University Blvd. 737-3521. $.

Kabul Kabob House. Afghan cuisine. L & D, daily. R HA. N/S. 5751-1 Beney Rd. 730-5036. $ The Loop. Chicago style pizza, burgers, sandwiches, sal03221’ $ D' daHy’

N'S’ HA’ 6426 Bowden Rd‘ 448‘

Outback Steakhouse. Steaks, fish, chicken, ribs in an Australian atmosphere. L & D, daily. FB HA. N/S. Regency Park, Atlantic Blvd. 720-1818. $$.

Pasta Cuisine. Italian cuisine in an intimate atmosphere.

L, M-F; D, M-S. B/W. R suggested. 2644 Atlantic Blvd.

396-1659. $$.

Patti's. Italian cuisine, veal, chicken, pasta, soups, appe­ tizers. D, T-Sn. Buffet, Sn. FB. HA. N/S. R. 73(50 Beach Blvd. 725-1662. $$ Sala Thai Restaurant. Thai chicken, seafood, vegetari­ an entrees. L & D, daily. 10769-10 Beach Blvd.

641-8384. $.

Tom & Betty's A variety of unique sandwiches named after cars, French dip, turkey, etc. B, L & D, M-S. FB. N/S. HA. 1500 University Blvd W. 448-5559. $.

The Wedge Cafe. Coastal American cuisine. Seafood, chicken, salads. L & D daily. FB. 5711-9 Bowden Rd. 7317598. $$.

ST. AUGUSTINE___________________ Antonio's. A variety of Italian favorites, fresh pasta, prime rib, seafood, chicken, veal. D, nightly. FB. R. N/S. HA, Comer of SRs 3 and 312 471-3835. $$.

Aruanno's. Pasta, seafood, veal, NY strip. D, T-S. B/W. R

mer home of Catalina Ponce de Leon, circa 1753. L, F-Sn, D, daily. FB, HA, N/S, R in season. 46 Avemda Menendez.

824-7765. $$.

Champs of Aviles. American cuisine, filet mignon, poached salmon. D, T-S. Brunch, Sn. R suggested. 8 Aviles St 824-6410. $$.

Compton's Seafood Restaurant. Steak and seafood. L, S; D, nightly. Brunch, Sn HA. N/S. A1A, North Beach.

824-8051 $$.

Conch House. Waterfront setting, seafood, steaks, pasta.

L & D, daily. FB. 57 Comares Ave. 824-2046. $$.

Cornucopia. Italian-French cuisine. D, daily. Brunch, Sn. FB. HA. 4075 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 471-0037 $$ Courtyard Deli. Upscale lunch spot in the Lightner Museum building; daily specials and homemade soups. B & L, M-F B/W. HA N/S. 75 King St., Ste. 112. 823-DELI Creekside. Southern-style and seafood specialties Overlooking Gonzales Creek. FB. HA. D, nightly. 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$.

Fiddler's Green. Seaside dining featuring local seafood, chicken, steaks. D, nightly. FB. R. 50 Anahma Dr. 824-8897. $$.

Florida Cracker Cafe. Florida coastal cuisine, seafood, chicken, steaks, burgers. L, daily; D, W-Sn. B/W. HA. 81 St. George St. 8290397. $$.

Gypsy Cab Company International menu. L, W-M; D, nightly. FB. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$.

Kings Head British Pub. English cuisine, fish and chips, steak and kidney pie. FB. HA. L & D, daily. 6460 U.S. 1 N. 823-9787. $$.

La Parisienne. Classic French cuisine, soups, pastries. L & D, T-Sn. B/W. HA. R. 60 Hypqlita St. 8298055. $$ Le Pavilion. Continental cuisine, rack of lamb, seafood dishes. L & D, daily. FB. HA. N/S. 45 San Marco Ave. 824- 6202 $$.

Lighthouse Park Restaurant. Specializing in coastal cui­ sine. Award-winning chowders, spicy Creole gumbos, gourmet burgers B, L, & D, daily. B/W. 442 Ocean Vista Ave. (across from the lighthouse on the water). 8264002

$-$$.

Magnolias. International cuisine including steak, chicken and seafood specialties. L, T-F; D, T-Sn. Brunch, S-Sn. B/W. HA NS. 252 Camache Harbor 824-7898. $$.

Matanzas Bay Cafe. Eclectic American cuisine. L, T-F; D, T-Sn. Champagne Brunch, S-Sn. FB. NS. 12 Avemda Menedez. 8298141 $$-$$$ Mediterraneo Italian cuisine, pasta, chicken, veal, seafood. D, T-Sn FB. R. HA. 2335 A1A S., 13th St., St. Augustine Beach, 471-6077. $$.

O.C White's. Enjoy the fresh local seafood and spirits in the histoneal General Worth House. L & D, daily. FB. HA N/S. 118 Avenida Menendez. 8248808. $$ O'Steen's Specializing in seafood, fried shrimp. L & D, T-S HA. 205 Anastasia Blvd. 8296974. $$.

Old City House. Creative American cuisine. L & D, T-Sn; B & L, Sn. FB. HA 115 Cordova St. 8268781. $$.

Oscar's Old Florida Grill. Down home fried and steamed seafood, steaks. L, S-Sn; D, W-Sn. B/W. HA, N/S. 614 Euclid Ave., Vilano Beach. 8293794. $$.

Raintree. Casual gourmet. Nine pasta entrees, seafood, dessert and appetizer crepes. D, nightly. FB. 102 San Marco Ave. 829-5953 or 6348400. $$ Salt Water Cowboys. Seafood, barbecue ribs, chicken.

D, nightly. FB Off A1A at west end of Dondanville Rd. 471-2332. $$.

San Marco Grille American-styled cuisine, steak, chicken, seafood. Cajun specialties. L & D, daily. FB. HA. N/S. 123 San Marco Ave $24-2788. $$.

Santa Maria Restaurant. Seafood specialties, steaks. L & D, daily. FB. HA. N/S. 135 Avenida Menendez. 8296578.

$$.

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COFFEE HOUSE & BAKERY

Stop by today for a piece of pie or pastry and a cup of your favorite gourmet coffee or fine tea. - .

Fresh Hearth-Baked Breads, Cakes, and rich, creamy gourmet Ice Cream.

Select Wines

Gates of Olde Mandarin • 1/4 mi. S. I-295

260-5I92 • II392 San Jose Blvd.

Wonderfully Different The word is out about David's in Orange Park, • If you haven’t / / tried us for i lunch / / ( or dinner, now is the time! v' v Lunch Tues. - Sat. 11 • 2:30 Dinner Thurs. - SaL. 6-10

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(David ’s 834 Kingsley Orange Park 264-7431

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The Best of Italy IN JACKSONVILLE

Theo's. Home baked buns, pita bread, cinnamon rolls, sticky buns, gyros, vegetable sandwiches, burgers, salads.

B & L, daily. N/S. 169 King St. 824-5022 $.

35 Houston. Seafood, lamb, chicken, lobster, internation­ al cuisine. D, M-S. B/W. R. 415 Anastasia Blvd. 8296513.

$$.

Villa Santa Monica. Italian/Continental cuisine. L & D, W-M. B/W. N/S. 26 Toques Place. 8268209 $$.

Waves Cafe Creative American cuisine, gourmet salads, crepes, quiches, steaks, sandwiches. L, daily; D, T-Sn. B/W. HA. 4255 A1A S., Crescent Beach Plaza, Crescent Beach 471-7484. $.□

Fine Italian Cuisine in an elegant setting and featuring Gene Nordan on Piano each Thurs., Fri. & Sat night

249-5369

Oafefe Ute @ Ragtimetor hot jazz u. >d cold beer.

At^ra^'estauram AGreek tnd9|ta”an$speaalties, along

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cuisine. ^-P^KS^unch only. B/W. HA. W04

L F'Sn'

daily'

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B/W. ӣ^s5eaf^d7chi*cn. steaks. L& D,daily. FB.

If you’re tired of spending $6 to $8 dollars a day on lunch, why not try The Archibald? Carolyn and Josef Molenda are the innkeepers of this bed and break­ fast located in downtown Jacksonville. In response to the rising cost of eating out, they decided to provide a quality budget lunch. And indeed, the delicious home­ made cooking there is dirt cheap.

Although their menu changes daily, they always have an array of soups, salads and sandwiches to choose from. You can order two items like a tossed salad and some Louisville chili for only $3.50. They also have freshly baked desserts like white chocolate cake. The Archibald was built

by Judge Archibald in 1903 and restored in 1989 by the Molendas. You can have lunch on the porch as a view of the Jacksonville skyline stretches out before you. Lunch is served at the Archibald is from 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. 125 West Second St. 634-1389.

Atlantic Village Shopping Center 1021 Atlantic Blvd.

Atlantic Beach

An upbeat, contemporary Italian experience at The Jacksonville Landing!

353-2626 2 Independent Drive Jacksonville

PIZZERIA ' RISTORANTE Fresh Selections Served in a Casual Old World Atmosphere of Antiques and Art. Take-out also available

249-5573 I IO 1st Street • Town Centre • Neptune Beach Take-out 246-5100 FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5. 19940j>

TO SELL SOMETHING Classified ads are 40C a word with a 10 word minimum. Phone numbers count as one word. Punctuation is free. Total your cost per week. Multiply that subtotal times the number of weeks you want the ad to run, put it on a check or fill out the charge into below and mail it in. Or call us at 260-9770 Mon-Wed 9:30 - 5:00 and we’ll take your ad over the phone if it’s paid with Visa or Mastercard. Folio Weekly reserves the right

to edit or reject advertising copy.

CLASSIFIEDS g N D E X

We hit the streets on Tuesday, the deadline is the Wednesday prior.

SEND TO: Classifieds, c/o Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Highway., Suite 11, Jacksonville, Fl 32256. If you want to drop by we’re 1/2 mile north of the intersection of Phillips got -a story Highway & I-95 (Mall of the Avenues area). Love to see )ya. Oh, if you’ve - --*■ idea send that along too!

THE BEST WAY TO MEET PEOPLE WHO WANT TO MEET YOU ELIGIBLES Ads are FREE for the first 30 words. We run them for 4 weeks with no changes in copy. Didn’t find who you’re looking for? Resubmit your ad and we’ll run it again for another 4 weeks. Is there a catch to the deal? Yeah, you’ve got to use a Voice Box number in your ad.

ELIGIBLES advertisers may buy extra words for their ads at 40C per word with a 10 word per week minimum charge.

How to respond to an ELIGIBLES ad by mail.

Put each response in a separate envelope with the Voice/Box number of the ad written on the outside. Enclose two dollars, check or money order, for each response in another envelope and mail to address below. We will mail your response to the ELIGIBLES advertiser. Thanks and good luck!

To reach ELIGIBLES advertisers by phone.

RESPONDING TO A GREETING: Anyone over 18 with a touch tone phone can respond to an ad they see in Folio Weekly by calling 1-900-77-FOLIO. Please keep in mind that not all advertisers leave a message right away. Some don’t use this service at all. Those wishing to avoid reaching advertisers without a message should use the browse function. The call is only $1.95 per minute. Follow the computer’s instruc­ tions. You have 60 seconds to leave your name, phone number and a brief message.

RECORDING A GREETING: Everyone who purchases a print ad in FOLIO WEEKLY will be mailed two (2) five digit numbers. One number will be the Voice Mail Box code to be printed in the magazine, and the other will be his/her personal password into the ELIGIBLES system. To record an outgoing message that will inspire a caller to respond, the advertiser may call a special FREE# which will be sent along with the personal access code.

RETRIEVING A MESSAGE: To retrieve messages left for them, the advertiser will call the 1-900-77-FOLIO number and, you guessed it. follow the instructions. You will have the option of repeating the message you just heard, deleting the message, or going on to the next message without deleting any. The computer is ‘‘user friendly."

Just go slowly the first few times and it works great! The cost is $1.95 per minute.

SPECIAL ADVICE: Do not leave sexually suggestive messages. It will take 24 hours for your outgoing message to be accepted by the system. Make a description of yourself and who you are looking for. Include as part of your message a special note for the callers responding to your ad, reminding them to leave their phone number so you can get in touch with them. No full names please. You must have a touch tone phone to use this system. Mobile phones don’t access the system very well. We suggest the messages be checked twice weekly, perhaps Friday and Tuesday.

WITH PROBLEMS: The system is almost completely foolproof but if you have any questions or problems, call Folio Weekly at 260-9770 Monday through Friday between 9:00a.m. and 5:00p.m. Naturally, Folio Weekly is not responsible for the content of the messages.

r Name

Address

Number of words

x40<t

weeks

Total a deal I

Call (904) 444-4444

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

212 N. Laura St. Jacksonville, FL 32202

osed or

"1 I I I I I I I I I I 1 I 1 I I I I I I I I I I I J

FOR SALE_______ _ 101 Antiques 103 Appliances 105 Art 107 Articles Wanted 109 Audio/Video Equipment 111 Autos/Trucks 113 Auto Parts & Services 115 Autos Wanted 117 Bicycles/ Motorcycles 119 Boats/Yachts 121 Books 123 Business Equipment 125 Clothes/ Jewelry 126 Creativity/ Self Expression 127 Computers 129 Crafts 131 Diet Products 133 Furniture/ Furnishings 135 Garage Sales 137 Good Things to Eat 139 Miscellaneous 141 Mobile Homes 143 Musical Instruments 145 Pets 147 Photography 149 Sporting Goods 151 Wanted to Buy SERVICES_________ 201 Artists 203 Beauty & Grooming 205 Bed a Breakfast Inns 207 Boats 209 Business Opportunities 211 Catering 213 Child Care 215 Cleaning 217 Clubs & Organizations 218 Dance Instruction 219 Diet Counseling 221 Education 223 Entertainers 224 Entertainment 225 Events 227 Financial Services 229 Fund Raising Opportunities 231 Health/Fitness 233 Instruction 235 Legal 237 Messages and Announcements 239 Miscellaneous Services 241 Moving 243 Musicians for Hire 244 Musical Services 245 Pets 247 Phone Services 249 Photography/ Video 251 Psychics 252 Protection/ Security 253 Resume Services 255 Sewing/ Tailoring 257 Spiritual 258 Support Groups/ Counseling 259 Travel 261 Weddings 263 Word Processing Typing

403 Avondale/ Riverside 405 Baymeadows/ Deerwood 407 Beaches 409 Downtown 410 Green Cove Springs 411 Mandarin 413 Northside 415 Orange Park 417 Ortega/ Venetia 419 San Marco/ South Bank 421 Southside 423 Westside 425 St. Augustine 427 Lots for Sale 429 Commercial 431 Condominiums 433 Real Estate Wanted HOME IMPROVEMENT 501 Alarms/ Security 503 Building Contractors 505 Interior Design 507 Landscaping 509 Pools/Spa 511 Renovations 513 Repairs 515 Building Supplies RENTALS_________ 601 ApartmenftsFurnished 603 ApartmentsUnfurnished 605 Condominiums 607 Houses for Rent 609 Offices for Rent 611 Rentals Wanted 613 Roommates 615 Services for Renters 617 Vacation Rentals

ELIGIBLES________ 701 Singles Scene 703 Seeking Men 705 Seeking Women

Wanted

309 Seeking Employment 311 Volunteers Needed REAL ESTATE

401 Arlington/ Regency

-a

44g

Personal Cycle Service

594 Ballough Rd. 253-2586

AMAZING SECRETS car salesmen do NOT want you to know. FREE REPORT. 1-800-2157751 (4/12)____________ •86 SUZUKI SAMURAI. One owner. Mileage 51K. Great shape, new top. $2800. 241-2476._______ ATTENTION LADY AUTO BUYERS: Are you tired of being talked down to when trying to buy an automobile? Do you just want to be treated with respect and professional­ ism? Please call Kevin Cunningham at Westside Toyota and I’ll do my best for you. 389-4561.

(3/29)

113 AUTO PARTS & SERVICES PERSONALIZED FLOOR MATS. Dark blue with “SHERRI" stitched on them. Originally $100, asking $50 or best offer.

733-9309._____________ NEW TOYOTA CAR STEREO and cassette player for sale. Will sell together or separately.

Make me an offer. 7339309.

111 AUTOS/ TRUCKS

Call Kathy DiMeglio, M.S. Certified Journal Instructor

398-6818

cars; ’67 Sprite, ‘73 Midget, ‘75 Midget, ‘76 Midget, ‘69 GT-6 engine plus much more.

HD

All for $500.

Austin

119 BOATS/YACHTR

1986 19' WELL CRAFT Bow Rider. Inboard/ Outboard. Great condi-

zzi^M/s?651 0,,er-

DAYLIGHT

engraving camera

tor stats and halftones. 6 years old. Excellent conoition. Includes paper and chemicals. $2,000. Call Meg at 260-9770.

and negotiation strategies Dial 900-772-3477 call 5 mhutes

Sam Taylor (==x-'| (W) 260-9770 SiO(H) 285-1604

133 FURNITURE FUTON. Mattress and frame, $100. or best offer.

Call Susan 260-9770, days or 260-0696, evenings.

143 MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS MOVING TO APART­ MENT, must sell Lowery organ, double keyboard, like new! 641-7223 or 641-8739,

145 PETS__________

125 CLOTHES/

Jewelry ?h»Srt°?er “'TOC0 cosl («hal

Workshops individual Consultations

Time to sell-off leftover parts

2'

Recommended Bv

(■Her Mlediois

A Journal Poetry Teaching Enterprise

Designed for children, adults.

123 BUSINESS EQUIPMENT_______

“I saved $2,800 on my new car.”

126 CREATIVITY/ SELF EXPRESSION

T&dbs Ain’t A Muisenm...

It’s for Sale

109 AUDIO/VIDEO EQUIPMENT

PHASE TECH 8.5 SPEAKERS. Original $1,200. Sell $650. Like new, 733-6664 (4/5)

bridal gowns. Largest new and consigned baby's and children’s department.

New baby gifts, plush ani­ mals and accessories.

Merchants Walk, Mandarin. 268-0032.

• Intensive Journal Writing • Intuitive Writing • Dream Journaling • Poetry/Language of the Soul

117 BICYCLES/ MOTORCYCLES

105 ART___________

FRAMES.. FRAMES ..

FRAMES! Those looking for custom framing at low cost, with a large selec­ tion to choose from are discovering the conve­ nience of shopping at Mandarin M Meadows, 11215 San Jose Boulevard or call 268-1477.

Tony Foster's reputation for service, excellence and unmatched accessory selection and value.

< WQ/A

FOR SALE

HELP WANTED

301 Full-Time Employment 303 Part-Time Employment 305 Actors Wanted 307 Musicians

WHY MOTORCYCLISTS COME TO DAYTONA

million

dollar

thal won,t cost a ?n |Uonn Carousel Bou­ tique-Upscale Retail/ Resale. New spring jewel­ ry. accessories, ladies cSerfCl0,hi1n9’ casual career, formalwear and

ADORABLE AND LOV­ ABLE female tabby cat (approximately 6 months) needs good home.

Spayed with shots. Call Debbie, 398-2845 (leave message) or 260-9770.

(4/26) ARRIVAL OF NEW BABY forces us to give up this baby! Looking for a loving

TO PLACE YOUR CLASSIFIED AD CALL SHERRI AT home for AKA Italian Greyhound, female, 13 lbs (won't get any bioger). 8 months old. One look at her and you'll fall in lovel Call Susan for more info: 260-9770 days or 260-0696’ evenings._____

LORI'S CLEAMNS

151 WANTED TO BUY___________ _____

Have Fun, Meet PEorJyi & Help The Community! U

WE BUY ANTIQUES. Furniture, glassware, col­ lectibles. anything of value. 384-4815 or 2461761 (4/26)

Men and Women, 21-39 you're Invited...

Choose from over 170 projects from Government involvement to Skydiving classes.

Meet the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month at Crawdaddv*s. Social follows every meeting.

ARTS AND ANTIQUES APPRAISER since 1984.

Ted Weeks M.A., 3882267.

205 BED & BREAKFAST BNNS BED & BREAKFAST ON AMELIA Island. The 1735 House Oceanfront B & B offers full suites, private bath, spectacular sunrises, breakfast in your suite and personal­ ized service. Try it, you’ll come back. Reservations and information, 1-904261-5878.____________ FLORIDA’S OLDEST surviving hotel (est.

1857) in the heart of Fernandina's historic dis­ trict. Stone fireplaces, claw foot tubs, jacuzzis.

Pub with darts, full coun­ try style buffet. Florida House Inn, P.O. Box 688, Amelia Island. (904) 261-3300.____________ OCEANFRONT COUN­ TRY INN. 1890s “Nantucket shingle style" house. Newspapers to your room, complimenta­ ry breakfast, library, wrap around porches.

Elizabeth Point Lodge.

P.O. Box 1210, Amelia island. (904)277-4851.

215 CLEANING

LADIES TOUCH Cleaning Service • Working moms • Disabled • Small businesses • Apartment contracting Light & full service.

Call for free estimate.

904/751-9876 Gloria Easterling, owner, licensed and bonded.

FREE MONTHLY MEMBER'S PARTYII Get Involved In a Truly FUN Civic Organization...

e

This is the only power food supplement to pass drug testing and to be used by the.U.S. Olympic Team.

ORGANlZATIOMg

201 ARTISTS

/4

Would you invest $12 to feel better and have a higher energy level?

217 CLUBS &

SERVBCES;

'

231 HEALTH & FITNESS

Services for your needs Residential/Commercial Licensed Free Est./Sat. Guar.

788-S874

147 PHOTOGRAPHY NIKON F3 BODY WITH MD-4 MOTOR DRIVE. $500. Call Walter at 2609770, days or 829-1516, evenings and weekends '

k'11 Ta I

[

i : ■ j : ■ ’ ■

: ' i

Uptime ■LL Natural CtUulcr Nutrition

641-4455

Real Astrology FOR THE WEEK OF APR. 5 THRU APR. 11

B V

MASSAGE = LESS STRESS = MORE ENERGY. Relaxing or rehabilitation. Gift certifi­ cates. Karen, 384-2054, MA0014127 (4/26) JIM BRYMER, LMT MA11068. Relaxation, deep tissue, stress relief. $40 per session. 3961968, Dig. Pgr. 4995169. Gift certificates available. (4/5)________ STOP SMOKING, $40.

Private sessions, normal­ ly only one visit required.

Weight control and other lifestyle changes, $25 to $40. Reduced rates for groups.

Variety of self-improvement audio tapes available. Certified professional hypnotist.

Call 264-2638.

HEALTH TECHS • Certified Rolfer® • Neuromuscular • Swedish Massage

‘flic Jacfaonviffe Jaycees ■ iCALL 399-JOIN TODAY, j

247-0527

meets every Tuesday, at 7:00 pm at Columbia Restaurant (upstairs)

Lie. 3MM0000957

904-824-7082

223 ENTERTAiNERS MALE BODYBUILDER, well-build, muscular, will pose for you. Call 7253265,(4/5) 227 FINANCIAL SERVICES

WOULD YOU UKE TO FEEL MORE RELAXED? ENJOY SWEDISH OR STRUCTURAL INTEGRATION MASSAGE

233 HMSTRUCT1OM

/on?

M

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COUPLES AND INDI­ VIDUAL MASSAGE. Home massage therapy services provided. John Basker-ville, RN, LMT #15226. Dixie Cochrane, LMT #16381. Call 7713133, beeper 952-1184 (4/5)___________ FREE YOUR MIND AND BODY of daily stress with a relaxing massage.

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235 LEGAL________ DIVORCE AMERICAN STYLE. Uncontested divorce papers prepared and notarized. No kids, $50; With kids. $80; Adoption, $80 641-2187 (4/26) _________ ATTORNEY MALCOLM L. STEPHENS, JR., who spent 40 years practicing law at Cathedral Place in St. Augustine has moved his law office into new quarters at the cor­ ner of A1A and "F” Street in St. Augustine Beach.

The new office is located in a single story “Cape Cod" type cottage with ample parking. Mr Stephens is a member of the American Academy of Elder Law Attorneys and practices primarily in the areas of wills, trust, probate of estates and real property law. For appointments please call (904) 417-4800. (4/5)

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237 MESSAGES AND ANNOUNCEMENTS

645-3044 BAD CREDIT/NO CRED­ IT. Obtain a major credit card. Security deposit not required. Apply by phone. John Young, 7311177 (4/19)___________ FOLIO WEEKLY is distrib­ uted every Tuesday from the St. Johns River to Mantanzas Bay to oyer 300 locations.

Call 260-9770 to find out where m pick up your copy._____

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245 PETS_________ LOOKING FOR REGIS­ TERED MALE SHELTIE with good disposition to breed with my female in exchange for pick of the litter. Call Sherri at 7339309.______________ EFFECTIVE ADVERTIS­ ING... Get proven results with Folio Weekly. Just ask our advertisers!

ROB

IB R E Z S N V

ARIES (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19): The world's record for underwater pogo-sticking in the Amazon is held, of course, by an Aries. So is the record for making the longest gum wrapper chain, lifting heavy objects with one's teeth, building the biggest sand castle, and throwing dried cow chips. In fact, a dis­ proportionately high per­ centage of all the records in the Guinness Book are held by Aries.

This week I predict your tribe will con­ tinue in this grand tradition.

My designer crystal ball indicates that a record number of Aries will go way out­ side the lines; while coloring ini their coloringI book, will climbi far out on the skin­ niest part of the longest limbs, willI sing off-key but stillI somehow sound greatt and will try to walk oni the water without wearing a life­ jacket.

TAURUS (Apr. 20 - May 20): I feel the: pressing need to wash you clean off your sjns, brothers and sisters — even iff you’doh't believe in the concept of sin. I have an overpowering urge to splashi you with holy water and baptize you ini the name of the god or goddess youi believe in most. You need the sacra­ ment of water, brothers and sisters — preferably warm water! You need to> immerse yourself in baths or saunas or indoor swimming pools, and drink gal­ lons of rejuvenating liquids, and feel rivers of emotion. Stay moist! Get drenched! Flush away the dreck of winter! Restore your innocence!

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20): According to the calendar, it's early spring. But in the realm of your psyche, it's late sum­ mer. Your inner child is ripe, and so is your inner garden. Your tomatoes are red and succulent. Your com is bursting out of the husk. A bumper crop of your specialty roses is blooming. From your orchards of apricots to your patches of watermelon and cantaloupe, you're ready to be plucked. So are you ready to party like you haven't partied since 1991? I strongly suggest that you throw a fine bash to celebrate your rich har­ vest Eat, drink, and be merry, for by May 1 you might want to go off by your­ self and act weird.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22)- I tried to get the Dalai Lama to be guest author of your message this week You see, I was faced with a dilemma. How could I urge you to rev your ambitions up full blast without risking that you’d become a stress-addled, eye-bulging greedhead?

How could I support your drive to make world over in your image without turning you into a manipulative, egomaniacal powertripper? Sadly, the Dalai Lama refused my plea to create a spiritually correct version of this advice. So I'm going to have to rely on you to read between these lines and do it yourself.

LEO (July 23 - Aug. 22): With all those pitbulls and weasels and vultures in the neighborhood, I know it’s been hard for you to maintain your leonine poise. And now I hear that the three-legged dog from hell over in cage number 3 has invited a hoard of fleas and a pack of lizards over for a slumber party I think it may be time to check out the action at a new watering hole, at least on a provi­ sional basis. I hear there's one place not too far from here where quite a nice mix of eagles, foxes and panthers hang out.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): If you love your car, you get it a tune-up before it desperately needs one. Right?

Likewise, you clean the heads on your VCR regularly and prune your plants and change the filter on your furnace.

So why not extend the same favor to your beautiful self? ‘Tis the season for giving extra attention to personal

upkeep and self-maintenance. Treat yourself to al least three luxuries from the following list: an appointment with a hairstylist, a physical check-up, a mas­ sage, a trip to the dentist or acupunctur­ ist, a juice fast, a colonic, a visit to a counselor or witch doctor, a pilgrimage to an inspirational sanctuary, the pur­ chase of exciting new music or a book, or a sexual experience tailored to fulfill your exact specifications.

LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct. 22): You're not the type that hoards up feelings for weeks and then spits them all out in one night, are you? If you are, there'll soon be an excellent window of opportunity for you to spit out of. But let’s assume that you’re not a hoarder. Let's hypothe­ size that all along the way you've been artfully showing your true kaleidoscopic colors the moment they've welled up inside you. Let's choose to believe that you've tended to your inner equilibrium so well that you'll soon be rewarded with the loss of a pesky inhibition.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Religious experience alert! Hope you don't mind being awakened in the middle of the night by a special delivery from the Great Beyond. Yes, my cute little bundle of extreme emotions! It doesn't matter if you're a true believer or an unrepentant infidel — you will soon be invited to have your dogmas tom out by the roots and replaced with a throbbing vision of cosmic whoopee. Brace yourself for the most pungent fun you've had since your last mudwrestle with the angel. I might add that all this will be arriving just in time. You were overdue to take invento­ ry of your ethics, your philosophy of life and your sock drawer.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): In my spare time I manage a unique com­ pany called Vicarious Fantasies. For a modest price, my fun-loving crew and I act out the fantasies of people who don't have the time or courage or imagi­ nation to do so. Our only stipulation is that our clients' fantasies wouldn’t require us to break the law or hurt any­ one. If it were any other time, I might encourage you to sample our services.

But it so happens that this is a critical turning point in your relationship with your fantasies. If you don't start living them out now — and with a righteous vengeance, please — you can kiss them bye-bye.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): As of right now, I am holding this message hostage until you agree to marry- (or at least engage) your fortunes to a charac­ ter who specializes in secrets and sto­ ries you need to know more about. You desperately need to be fascinated, amazed and intrigued! If love or sex is involved, so much the better, but that's not necessary to meet my demands.

And now repeat after me or I will blow, up my bath toys: “Hooray for the confu­ sion that saves me from being a knowit-all."

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Why settle for gut-rotting moonshine when you might be able to wangle a heartawakenino tonic? Why eat crow when you're still not sure what exactly your desserts will be? The near future is rife with plot twists and sudden reversals, my friend — most of which will be in your favor. If I had to give you one rule to live by in the coming weeks, it would be this: Don’t be too sure you know what's going to happen next. I mean, why suck up cheap black market thrills when wholesome, reasonably priced highs are almost within reach?

PISCES (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20): Like the waxing crescent moon, your light is steadily growing. Like a skillful military strategist, you're conquering just the right amount of territory each day, nei­ ther overreaching nor underestimating your capacities. Like a good lover, you have a knack for applying the exact touch or word that adds a magical charge everywhere you go. In other words, dear Pisces, your old feast-orfamine routine is becoming obsolete.

Soon you'll no longer be addicted to the melodrama of having either too much or too little.

You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night for your

EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE

I -900-288-9020

$1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required. Updated Tuesday night.

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5,1994

E

I

D

HEATING & AIR

a

a

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p_

a Odd Jobs by Bill

e&

C O Mcet.eestcK.<^ FO R T & ter

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All home repairs. Rotton wood and termite damaqe specialist. Quality painting interior and exterior. Since 1980.

$100 OFF ANY NEW SYSTEM NO GIMMICKS - JUST QUALITY HEATING AND AIR SYSTEMS AT AFFORDABLE PRICES.

733-1807

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721-9400 To list your business in Folio Weekly’s

<• A

Over <^©©© of our readers plan to remodel their homes in the next 12 months.

Home Services Planner call Sherri Broussard at

260=9770.

lanai

WINDOW REPLACEMENT

(t>

Source: International Demographics, Inc.

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Openings Unlimited, Inc. Aluminum or vinyl replacement windows.

10 yr. mfg. warranty. Financing available.

Free estimates.

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IRRIGATION SYSTEMS

HOME IMPROVEMENTS

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J.E.M. Home Improvements • Powerwashing ° Painting

Right Way Irrigation & Landscaping

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Best irrigation systems in town. Complete lawn maintenance & irrigation. One month free service — call for details. Repairs 15% off with this ad.

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KM Mease Landscape Designs • Award winning residential designs.

• Picture perfect installation.

If you would like to see a sample of our work, call

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Source: International Demographics, Inc.

247 PHONE SERVICES

I

VJOCE MAIL S9.99 Mo.* OPTION: P.O. Box $5 BOTH $14.99 221-6001 249 PHOTOGRAPHY/ VIDEO____________ VIDEOTAPE DUPLICA­ TION. Highest quality, fastest service.

Guaranteed Satisfaction.

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251 PSYCHICS

Psychic Readings Appointments or walkins available. Metaphysical supplies, books, candles, & crystals.

Call for info: 356-5922 1610 N. Main St

733-S195

ZEN MEDITATION Sundays: 9:00-10:30am U.U. Church, 7405 Arlington Expy.

For additional times and info.

Call: Zenrin at

287-1156

258 SUPPORT GROUPS/ COUNSELING

TWELVE WEEK

MIIW-BODY For people coping with or recovering from a SERIOUS ILLNESS

Call 730-4351

For A Free 15 Minute Consultation

connection

257 SPIRITUAL

'Once in an age, God sends to some of us a friend who loves in us. not the man that we are, but the angel we may be."

Harriet Beacher Stowe

RELATIONSHIP ADDICTION Join us Sunday, April 10th, at 11:00 for a thought-provoking class, delicious food, and warm fellowship. $5.00 plus Love Offering.

ARIEL 5226 Atlantic Blvd. Jacksonville For More Information call 396-1225 Free Arie! Newsletter Available

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

THE RELATIONSHIP GROUP: 12-week experi­ ential therapy group deals with co-dependent life patterns and teaches inti­ macy skills. Tracks for couples and singles.

Starts April 22nd, Thursdays, 7:00 - 9:00 pm. Stage II Recovery, Connie Donaldson, MA, 223-6762 (4/12)________ WILD WOMAN WEEK­ END VII: The Seven Faces of the Goddess.

Springtime mountain retreat in beautiful Dahlonega, GA. Celebrates conscious femininity, promotes self esteem. April 15-17.

Stage II Recovery, Connie Donaldson, MA, 2236762,(4/5)

261 WEDDINGS WHY SPEND THOU­ SANDS ON YOUR WED­ DING GOWN? Looks brand new! Size 10, can­ dlelight, off the shoulder, floor length, contemporary style. Very pretty! $275 or best offer. Call Susan, 260-0696. Leave mes­ sage;________________ PROFESSIONAL WED­ DING PHOTOGRAPHY Video available.

Experienced, profession­ al. Call Tom, 737-6745 (4/26) _________ THE VINE: WEDDING BOUTIQUE offers the fol­ lowing for your wedding celebrations. Invitations and Stationary, Crystal Champagne glasses, Custom-made veils, Beautiful Consignment gowns and much more.

We specialize in European wedding and party flowers and also offer coordination of events. 3823 Hendricks Avenue. 398-0840.

QUALITY WEDDING INVITATIONS and per­ sonal attention in your selection of announce­ ments, informals and other wedding papers.

Wonderful bridal books and other accessories.

Shower and party invites, too! Things Very Special, 5806 Old St. Augustine Road. Open Tuesday through Friday, 10-5:30 pm; Saturday, 12-5 pm.

733-4820.

IXIELP WAMTEE) 301 FULL-TIME EMPLOYMENT ADVERTISING SALES If you're a high energy person with a college degree and a love of advertising you may be able to build your career and Folio Weekly at the same time. Want to know more? Send your cover letter and resume in confi­ dence to: Mr. T. Farrar Martin, c/o Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Hwy. #11, Jacksonville, FL 32256.

No phone calls please.

(4/26)_______ TELECOMMUNICA­ TIONS. A Washington D C. area successful, government contractor is seeking a qualified super­ visor and staff to form as an expert team providing these services: Maintaining 26 pierside risers, Perform telephone line connects and discon­ nects, Operate station switchboard. We are bid­ ding a contract and may have positions available this April and May 1994.

We pay better than indus­ try wages and benefits.

Applicants must be expe-

rienced, no nonsense team players Please send your resume w/salary history to : Ms. Shackelford, PO Box 3924, Capitol Hghts, MD 20791-3924. (4/5) NATURAL FOOD DELI looking for full time cook/food prep person.

Will train, but must have interest in health foods and natural cooking. Call 269-8380 for more information. (4/26)_________ WAITER/WAITRESS. Experienced preferred.

Will train. Parkview Cafe.

Bistro style in historic building downtown Jacksonville. 356-3100.

1001 N, Main St (4/5) HELP WANTED: Earn up to $500 per week assem­ bling products at home No experience. Info 1504-646-1700 Dept.

FL5358. (4/19) 303 PART-TIME EMPLOYMENT MOTHER'S HELPER/ CHILD CARE PROVIDER. Physician/ artist couple in Ponte Vedra area desire outstanding individual to care for their 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 year old children. Will pay excel­ lent salary for well-quali­ fied, responsible, ener­ getic, creative person.

College graduate pre­ ferred, but not necessary.

Approximately 30 hours a week. Call 285-1425.

(4/5)

REAL ESTATE 403 AVONDALE/ RIVERSIDE________

BY OWNER. 1308 Wolfe, 2BR/2BA, double garage.

Palms, pool, privacy.

$109,900.

(4/19)

387-2658

431 CONDOMINIUMS WESTSIDE, 1 BED­ ROOM. Pool, A/C, new paint, carpet. $17,900.

786-0731 (4/12)________ AFFORDABLE CONDO in Baymeadows/San Jose area. 1 bedroom, 1 bath, great for singles or retirees. A must see at $27,000. 737-3694 or 733-6755 (4/12)

KIOME IMPROVEMENT 507 LAMDSCAPiMG TRACTOR WORK. All types grading, mowing, land clearing, etc.

Licensed and insured 276-3157. (4/5)'

513 REPAIRS QUALITY PAINTING SINCE 1980. Careful and fast. Interior/ Exterior. All home repairs. Rotten wood specialists. Honest, clean and reasonable ODD JOBS BY BILL. 7331807 (4/26)

RENTALS 601 APARTMENTS

furnished______

RIVERSIDE EFFICIEN­ CY. Small, nice, in restored Victorian Second floor with deck $390/month includes CH&A, cable and all fur­ nishings. 384-7837 (4/5)

603 APARTMENTS UNFURNISHED riverside - 1 br. hard­ wood floors, 2 a/c’s, 3

ceiling fans, 2nd floor. $225/month, $150/ deposit. 2167 Myra. 3544086 or 389-8768. (4/12) RIVERSIDE - 3BR, 7 ceil­ ing fans, washer/dryer, central heat and air.

Wood floors, high ceil­ ings, dishwasher. 2261 Myra St. $395 per month, S300/deposit. 354-4086 or 389-8768 (4/5)______ SAN MARCO GARAGE APARTMENT. 1 Bed­ room, A/C, large deck.

1707 Flageler Ave $315/month. 399-1986 (4/26)_________

rentOUSES for FOR RENT: Westside 4BD/2BA, bi9 yard. clean' 8531 Normandy Blvd S600. Call 783-1780 or 363-4108 (4/51_________

613 ROOMMATES

SINGLE. PROFESSION­ AL MALE OR FEMALE to snare Ponte Vedra condo. Private bedroom and bath. $250 per month plus 1/2 utilities. $200 deposit, 273-8737 (4/121

pSe’

KINGSLEY LAKE AND NORTH CAROLINA mountain rental. Reserve now.

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Beautiful properties. (4/5) CLAYTON, GA - MOUN­ TAIN GETAWAY. Private, luxurious, 3 bed­ room, 2 bath “treehouse" home beside mountain waterfall.

Fireplace, decks, TV, etc., from $150 per night. Relax in Winter wonderland or experience Spring at it’s romantic finest. Rafting, hiking, antiquing. A Green Shutters Premier Property. 1-800-5355971 (4/5) _________ AMELIA ISLAND RENTALS. Furnished oceanfront rentals on the beach near the historic port of Fernandina Beach. Choose from over 100 luxury condomini­ ums, beach homes or vil­ las. Daily and weekly rates. Beaches, golf, ten­ nis, cruises, shops, etc.

Full brochure and rates.

Amelia Island Lodging Systems.

1-800-872-8531._

WHITE

FEMALE, seeks liberalminded, non-smoking fAmo?8'.003]’ single- whit® emale to share 4/2 home Baymeadows area.

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mgSAT,OM ALMOST HEAVEN mountain chalet near

SpeSc^'r^^^OO pormYtion^' Ph°'°aS|i (904)825-0903. (S/1OI SOUTH PONTE VEDRA Great oceanfront house huge deck, weekly' monthly, 398-0684 (4/rm1

A Better Way To Meet Better People 701 Singles Scene

MEET YOUR NEW MATE TODAY. All Lifestyles Dateline.

1-800-226-7786 S2.95/min. 18+ BNE Enterprises, Tampa FL

TO HEAR AN ELIGIBLES OR LEAVE A MESSAGE

CALL I-900-77*

3

6

5

4

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$1.95/minute

^VHJST BE 18 YRS. OF AGE • REQUIRES TOUCH TONE PHONE • CALL 260-9770 TO PUBLISH YOUR OWN AD

LONELY O Meet someone tonight L H without even leaving home — F Ulin I I through DREAM WEAVER. Si I. I Each member sends and receives E-mall through their own private F"

1■

Do(jT vis evioo&W v\jiWojT You U’oibJfr JScK^ovlViL1^ 35 Shi aswwF

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E-mail Box • Talk to other members In a real-time “Chat" forum \ / I 11 • Start your own “Private Chat” channel for private conversations 11WW1 1

v-m'

• Browse through our many Conferences posted letters from our members and contribute your own. Upload your own fantasies and read other’s responses. Share your dreams and fantasies with.other members Set your modem for 8N1, and dial (904) 292-9777 InJaxor (904) 427-5688 in Daytona or Call (904) 260-3614 for help.

j '| 1

It’s Not Easy To Submerge CO52SXER3 C-aS3> USE Pizza & Subs Ponte Vedra • 285-2636

ill’ •

~~

Jara |rant'rarf

Oscar’s this

■

Saturday or Sunday afternoon. After all, if you don’t know Oscar’s, you don’t know St. Augustine.

On the intracoastal opposite Compton's.

614 Euclid Ave.

j

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Have your friends meet his friends at

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How

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829-3794

DINNER FOR EIGHT A NEW WAY TO MEET SINGLES

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461-9901

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Waiting to take your call now!!!

SINGLES DATHM

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S2/min. 24hrs. Ttone 1-900-329-6682 Ext. 641

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INTERRACIAL DATING SERVICE. All racial/ethnic groups invited. For more information, write IRDS, PO Box 10543, Jacksonville, FL 32247.

(4/5)_________ CALL ME LIVE or my party line. Ask for KIM. What's your pleasure? $2 - $3.50 per minute. 18+.

1-800-374-1122________ ALL LIFESTYLES DAT­ ING. Jacksonville’s A - Z meeting place. 1-900-3292015, ext 15. $2/minute, 18+

Get to Know Someone You’ll Really Like!

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I________ ______ —---------------- !

Name Address

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Age Group:

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I8-3O__ 3l-45__ 46+_ 3540 Hwy J 7^# 17 32043

JACKSONVILLE SINGLES LINE Confidential, Convenient, Free and no 900/976 numbers Call 24 hours

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Ad of the Week: Woman Seeking Man

’ CUTE 37-YEAR-OLD FEMALE PILOT seeking ..u..u^w...w professional r_________ handsome officer to fill vacant copilot seat in her airair­ K!UgSh plane. Navy pilot a r'"~ Must possess r morals’and standards and who might be reluctant to respond to oa nor. per­ *""• sonals ad. Also loves sports cars and Jazz.

Voice/Box 10667 (4/26) ELIGIBLES: Get creative!

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|

” Put each response in a separate envelope with the box number of the ad written on the outside.

Enclose it in another envelope with two dollar check or money order for each response and mail to: The Eligibles, c/o Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Hwy., Suite 11, Jacksonville. FL 32256.

F K E E

Eligibles Ads. 30 words for 4 weeks, with no changes In vnaiiyco >n copy. uvpy. Each ■’ ' word, Z7J, 40 additional cents per — word ------- 1 per ____ You must use a week.

Voice/Box to receive your 30 words free. See order blank or call 2609770. Mon-Frl, 9:00-5:30 to place your ad.______ THIS ATTRACTIVE, AFFECTIONATE, tall, proportionate, full-figured woman is looking for tall, 200 lb.+, monogamous man, late 30's to mid 40's.

Letters, note only please.

Box 10669 (4/26)_______ FUN LOVING, SINGLE, WHITE FEMALE, attrac­ tive with dark eyes and hair seeking professional non-smoking caring and honest white male, 32-37, to enjoy friendship and adventures. Note and -------photo preferred. Voice/ Box 10668 (4/26)-----------ES°TvER'C6’.. C3R9EAnTe'eVdEs

^0Ver of music or dance.

“R'ece'ding hairline* and hairy chest assures responses I must confess".

Conquestadores searching for semenal depository vesicles need not respond Voice/Box 10666 (4/26) SINGLE, WHITE SINGLE, Uimu FEMALE 32, 32. 5 5’’1", 1", blonde. blonde, FEMALE, 115 IbS., |bS ’luvrvniy looking ivi for 1hand115 ■’ - - - type __ ____ some •blue jean gen­ tleman who is 28-38. Must love children and also be a Christian. Voice/Box 10665 (4/26)__________ WHITE FEMALE, BLONDE, 57, 5'3", fluffy but not fat, looking for a single man with good sense of humor, kind, considerate, loving, likes . to travel, fish, go places. ‘ I’m a good cook and a good housekeeper, with a good sense of humor. I've got a lot of love to give to the right man. I'm not looking for Mr. Macho.

What's in your heart is what matters. No heavy drinkers. 57-65. Maybe you're my Mr. Right.

Voice/Box 10664 (4/26) WHERE ARE THE SIN­ GLE, well educated, attractive, fun loving, sin­ cere men in Jacksonville?

I know you must be out there but my attempts to find you have been unsuccessful. A few of the traits I value most in myself are honesty, caring

and sincerity. I enjoy n v— >. « i., ’ > I♦tvz*, many activities from the cutdcc.’c and cr.d exercise to outdoors cooking and reading. On ---------the negative side; some­ times I work too much and need to be reminded to slow down. If you’re a non-smoker, between 30 and 43 meeting the above description, and I’ve caught your interest.

(XStoopSSonat)n Voice9/

tuous, smart, energetic, single, vxrHttd white fomold female, mT 3D —That's me! Seeking relationship with single or divorced white male, 2538. Just do it. Photo/letter preferred.

Voice/Box 10660 (4/26)___________ Quit 1, QUIET, RESERVED, PETITE . >7___ divorced, white female with teen at home.

Not looking for a jock, but fit, nice looking and tallish.

Between 45-53. NonBox 10663 (4/26)—-------- smoker, social drinker. preferred.

SINGLE, WHITE Letters FEMALE, 53, would like Voice/Box 10657 (4/19) to meet a single, white CHAPTER 1 was learnmale who \ ’ is •fun ■-*-to be ing/experience, chapter 2 with, ai nnnri good ronvRrsationconversation- is enjoyment. Attractive, 17: andi’ can laugh ‘7 5" at U! “ list himwhite male, 45-55, to self. Voice/Box 10662 enjoy outdoors, travel, (4/26) good friends and interest----------------------life. Voice/Box 10659 VERY PRETTY, CLASSY, ing lif( REDHEAD, youthful, 40's, (4/19) tall tall, dim slim, nnn.cmnkur non-smoker, nn no I’M aLOOKING FOR A dependents, positive out­ BOYFRIEND: Enthusias­ look on life desires to tic, active, healthy, nonmeet one emotionally and smoker, beach lover, pos­ financially secure, roman­ itive, athletic, assertive. tic man. Letters preferred. All or most or a good sub­ Voice/Box 10661 (4/26) stitute? I'm tall, blonde, WHAT A CATCH! Fun, slender, late 30's. Photo/ blonde, blue-eyed, petite, note/call. I'm flexible. very attractive, volup- Voice/Box 10599 (4/19) oir^/~,ld

Eligibles Get Creative If your ad is chosen as the ad of the week you will receive: Two complimentary tickets to the Comedy Zone

5 Free Tanning Sessions from

O' The'X''

COMedY-^ ^-ZCNE' / "V» \

Jacksonville Athletic Club

RAMADA INN 1-295 AT SAN JOSE

724-6994 6651 Crestline Dr.

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5, 1994

1-900-288-9020

REAL ASTROLOGY L.

\

MARRIAGE MINDED. Cultured, worldly, extremely pretty blonde, teacher seeks 40+. non­ smoking, successful, romantic, gentleman possessing a dynamic personality to share cul­ tural and sporting events, boating and travel. Photo please. Voice/Box 10658 (4/19)___________ I’M LOOKING FOR AN INTELLIGENT, honest, open-minded and good looking hispanic or black male, 20-30, not over­ weight and non-smoker. I am a single, white female, 5’1", caring, ath­ letic and sincere.

Voice/Box 10656,(4/19) CLASSY, BEAUTIFUL, PROFESSIONAL. 39.

Dark expressive eyes, love to laugh and smile.

Interested in a career minded, well rounded, single, white, profession­ al male, 38-48. for a committed relationship.

Letters preferred.

Voice/Box 10655 (4/12) WHITE FEMALE, 22, seeks white male, 30-50, friendship not commit­ ment; into art, literature, history, poetry, antiques, auctions and enlightened conversation. Voice/Box 10654 (4/12)_________ FIT, FUN. FINANCIALLY SECURE and attractive too. 5'2", 112 lbs, blonde hair, brown eyes, 40’s, seeking white profes­ sional male, 45-55, with same qualities to share fun times and more.

Voice/Box 10653 (4/12) SEXY CALIFORNIA ITALIAN. Me- Single, white female, mom, hon­ est, 32, rebellious, love sci-fi, sultry, affectionate, unusual, hard body You. Single, white male, hon­ est, big, strong, hard working, slight attitude problem, 30-40, self con­ fident. Letters preferred.

Voice/Box 10652 (4/12) EXPERIENCED WHITE FEMALE, submissive, professional seeks expe­ rienced white male, dom­ inant, 35+ for continued training. Must be a pro­ fessional, good health, non-smoker. Discretion required. Letter pre­ ferred. Voice/Box 10651 (4/12)____________ ___ LOOKING FOR JOHN WAYNE. This 5’2", frost­ ed blonde, 45 year old, seeks relationship with single, white male who’s in love with the great out­ doors and has room in his heart for a filly like me. Voice/Box 10650 (4/12)________________ IF VIVACIOUS. CLASSY, charming and charisma strike your fancy this 5'9", 45, pretty, well-proportioned, frost­ ed blonde is waiting for a fun-loving romantic per­ sonality-plus, single, white male to embrace all I have to offer. Letter preferred. Voice/Box 10649 (4/12)__________ ALL I ASK OF YOU is to be my Angel of Music and to know the Music of the Night. If you know what this means this 41 year old, pretty, blue­ eyed blonde would like to see if we could get Past The Point of No Return.

Letters preferred.

Vnir.fi/Box 10648 (4/12) WE SPOKE BRIEFLY after 2/18 flight from Miami. You: red truck roof racks. Me: oversized pizza bag, Explorer. If you’re not involved,

S1.99/minute Updated every Tuesday night MUST BE 18 YRS OF AGE • REQUIRES TOUCHTONE PHONE

ROB BREZSNY'S EXPANDED HOROSCOPE LINE would you like to get together.

Voice/Box 10647 (4/12)_________ BUSY CAREER WOMAN, 25. seeks handsome, educated man to spend precious free time with. I’m attrac­ tive, outgoing and enjoy aerobics, good conversa­ tion, dining out and jazz music.

Note/photo please. Voice/Box 10646 (4/12)_______________ ATTRACTIVE 31 YEAR OLD woman of color seeks adventurous, open-minded, fun loving, white male for friendship/relationship. Must enjoy traveling, fine din­ ing, intimate and roman­ tic evenings. Age unim­ portant. Voice/Box 10645 (4/12)_______________ ATTRACTIVE, 31 YEAR OLD woman of color seeks adventurous, open-minded, fun loving, white male for friendship/relationship. Must enjoy traveling, tine din­ ing, intimate and roman­ tic evenings. Age unim­ portant. Mail preferred.

Voice/Box 10645 (4/12) ATTENTION: TALL, PROFESSIONAL MALES. This very selec­ tive and attractive profes­ sional female in her late 30's seeks to meet Mr. Right. He is 5’10" or taller, 32-42, sensitive, caring, communicates well, works out regularly, enjoys sports, travel, dancing, dining out, cooking and good come­ dy. College degreed and has a great sense of humor. If you're looking for a quality relationship where you can have fun and better enjoy life, send me a note along with a phone number to reach you. Voice/Box 10644 (4/5) _______ I WANT TO MEET A MAN who’s somewhat handsome, tall, solid, serious, and charming.

Clean fingernails required. 33, 5’9", some­ what attractive lady would like to know if any really eligible men are still out there Photo/note please. Voice/Box 10643 (4/5) _________ HAVE YOU EXAMINED YOUR PERSONALITY well enough to know you're a Meyers-Briggs “NF"? If so, WF/"NF” seeking WM/"NF". Must be 38-55, non-smoker, professional/entrepreneur, 5’8" or taller and know ballroom/Latin dancing or be willing to learn. Respond with resume, photo.

Voice/Box 10642 (4/5) REDHEAD, BORN TO DANCE, sail and beach it. Professional sales, laughs and smiles. Petite and slender, 50 and happy, trusting people lover. Voice/Box 10641 (4/5)________________ FUN LOVING, VIVA­ CIOUS, caring, attrac­ tive, widowed, white female, non-smoker, social drinker, young 58, looking for special male for friendship/fun times.

Like sports, nature, com­ puters, movies, music, etc. Voice/Box 10640 (4/5)________________ ST. AUGUSTINE, 5’10”, blonde, blue eyed, pro­ fessional who loves out­ doors. travel, sports, music, dining, dancing, seeking tall, compatible, sincere, honest gentle­ man, between 35 and 45

FOLIO WEEKLY APRIL 5. 1994

for friendship and fun.

Voice/Box 10639 (4/5) SLIM, SENSUAL, ATTRACTIVE. BLONDE professional, 35, intelli­ gent, outgoing, no dependents, seeking successful, attractive, happy gentleman who is ready for a committed relationship. Descriptive letter appreciated.

Voice/Box 10637 (4/5) WOULD LIKE TO MEET A MAN, 60-70, who misses someone in his life too. I’m petite and average size. Voice/Box 10636 (4/5) _________ ATTRACTIVE, WHITE FEMALE, early 30's, great figure, want a Taurus male. Enjoy out­ doors, sports, music and romantic evening. Note and picture please.

Voice/Box 10635 (4/5) FIRST TIME AD. Single, white, professional female, 40's, tall, thin, allegedly beautiful, sensi­ tive, and smart. I appre­ ciate the arts and love the outdoors and sports.

An equestrian and a sailor who looks great in jeans or in diamonds. In search of tall, intelligent, handsome, single, white, professional male who would not normally answer an ad. Note and photo appreciated.

Voice/Box 10596 (4/19) I'M SLENDER, FAIR AND 38, I'd like a witty man to date A love of learning, life and art, a winning smile, a great big heart - will be what sets this man apart I'd like a note before a call.

Rhyming verse is optional. Voice/Box 10634 (4/5) REDHEAD, GREEN EYES, classy lady, seek­ ing white professional, tall, medium build, dark hair, 40-55 year old who enjoys outdoors and who’s ready to settle down with me.

Permanent relationship.

Photo a plus. Voice/Box 10633 (4/5)___________ TALL NUBIAN QUEEN. 6’2", 180 lbs., female, professional, single par­ ent, 40, fun-loving and kind hearted seeks inter­ racial relationship with male companion for enjoyable times. Must be kind hearted and a gen­ tleman. Voice/Box 10632 (4/5)________________ PETITE, ATTRACTIVE. 50 +, single, white female, happy, well adjusted, enjoys movies, dining in and out, sun­ sets. Would like to meet gentleman, sense of humor, energetic, for friendship, relationships, maybe more. Mail pre­ ferred. Voice/Box 10631 (4/5)________________ OL’ TIMERS. Southside, nice, young, single, white female, 70, non-smoker, wants to meet kind, sin­ gle, white male, for friendship. Love dining, dancing, old cars, races, sharing thoughts. I’ll return photo. Voice/Box 10630 (4/5) __________ SOUTHERN BRUNETTE, early 50’s, younger looking, 5'3", trim, very attractive, spontaneous, classy, selective, sense of humor. I'm down to earth, playful and roman­ tic. I'd like to meet a sin­ gle, white gentleman, 4555, 5'11" or taller, who’s trim, honest, nice-look­ ing, white collar, profes­ sional. No games. Non-

smoker, social drinker.

Moustache and/or beard okay. Phone and/or write. Voice/Box 10624 (4/19) ________ Sincere, sensitive, smil­ ing lady, active & outgo­ ing desires to meet a relined intelligent, in­ shape gentleman, 40’s 50’s for a happy friend­ ship & possible relation­ ship. I'm a NS, trim, peo­ ple person w/varied inter­ ests. Boating, tennis, the beach, music, theater, travel, etc If you are a person who loves togeth­ erness don’t hesitate to respond.

Voice/Box 10670_______________

SUCCESSFUL, BUSI­ NESS OWNER, athletic, white male, 39, 6’, 175 lbs., searching for attrac­ tive, intelligent, honest, independent, lady, 25 to 35, 5'4" to 5'9", who has similar interests for dat­ ing and possible lifetime relationship. Note and photo preferred.

Voice/Box 50955 (4/26) LOVING, HANDSOME, SINGLE, WHITE MALE, 5’8", in great shape, 30 years old, very caring, many interests. Seeks pretty, slender, single woman, 20-39. Send love letter and photo.

Voice/Box 50952 (4/26)

Just Btowswg?

Find theperfect partner today with the Eligibles browse feature,

1. Women Seeking Men 2. Men Seeking Women

If the introduction doesn't appeal to you press 3 to interrupt and forward to the next one.

$1.95 per minute ° Must be 18 years of age.

FOLIO WEEKLY ACCESSIBLE! Professional, black female, 39, 5'8”, no kids, lot of birds! Seeking, friendship with flexible, single, white male. My Interests?

Dave Copperfield (illusionist), the arts, computers, water sports, cruises and Disney World. Voice/Box 10500 (4/12)________ DID YOU REEL IN YOUR SWEETIE while fishing through the Eligibles ads? If so, drop us a line... we like to hear about it. Send to: Eligibles, c/o Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Hwy., Suite 11, Jacksonville, Fla., 32256.

SEXY, HANDSOME, ADVENTURESOME,pro­ fessional, white male, 35, seeks a sexy, attractive, intelligent, uninhibited, professional, white female looking to “escape" the everyday routine and have fun and fantasy. Letters preferred Voice/Box 50992 (4/26) PROFESSIONAL, SIN­ GLE, BLACK MALE, 32. loves cooking, romantic evenings, seeking attrac­ tive, single or divorced black female, 25-35, for friendship and possibly

more. Voice/Box 50953

M/26)____________ WANT TO GET OUT OF DOLDRUMS? Have a

ffe9S.29%%-n?46 lbs., looking for petite, single, white female to have fun at movies, din­ ners, tennis, etc.

Letter/photo preferred.

Voice/Box 50951 (4/26) YOU SAW ME AND SMILED! I am the nice looking guy that said HELLO! Was it River Run? The beach?

Running?

Publix?

Blading? Biking? Movie?

Play? Bullets or Suns? I am 38, 5’7", with a great outlook on life. Spring is here and I would love to meet a lady in her 30's to share fun, sun, laughs, and join me in breaking out of the winter dol­ drums. Send a letter and lets meet! Box 50999 (4/12)________________ ATTRACTIVE, PROFES­ SIONAL, WHITE MALE, single father with custody.

5'8”, 155 lbs, fit, home­ owner. Seeks attractive, independent, white female, 18-24 with child for friendship, dating.

Voice/Box 50998 (4/26) HANDSOME, FIT, PRO­ FESSIONAL, single, white male, 32, short brown hair, 6', 175 lbs, non-smoker, seeking attractive, single, white female, 27-37, in good shape. Responsible, sincerew, hard worker, very mature, sense of humor a must, to enjoy the beach, outdoors, traveling, quiet times at home, dancing.

Please include note and recent photo. Voice/Box 50997 (4/26) _________ ST. JOHN COUNTY AND BORDERS, divorced, white male, 49, Spanish/French mix.

Seeking rest of life com­ panion, 30's-40’s. Call or write and let's explain how we are. Voice/Box 50996 (4/26)_________ BUSY PROFESSIONAL, 26, just jetted to Jax, seeks sweet, sensual, intelligent, independent, happy lady for laughing, lazing and lasagna.

vcait

WBRLB

THIS WEEK, WE'D LIKE TO SHARE SOME OF OUR FAVORITE ENTRIES FROM THE “DRAW SPARKY" COHTE$T.„SUCH AS TUCSON READER STEVE ^FRANCE'S INTERPRETATION OF THAT NOTED HISTORICAL FIGURE, GEiJGWS SPARKY-..

ANNOUNCING

F K E E

Eligibles Ads. 30 words for 4 weeks, with no changes in copy. Each additional word, 40 cents per word per week. You must use a voice box to receive your 30 words free. See order blank or call 260-9770.

Mon-Frl, 9:00-5:00 to place your ad._________________ NOT A PRINCE, BUT NOT A TOAD. Don’t apply if not serious.

Divorced, white male, 35, looking for friend, com­ panion who has time for me! Flexible, fun and likes quite times. May lead to long term. Letters preferred. Voice/Box 50954 (4/26)

Surprise me. Voice/Box 50995 (4/26)__________ ENJOY TRAVELING? Leave your working day behind and let’s fly to Las Vegas. Get to know this divorced, white male, seeking an attractive, female, 35-42, who enjoys dating, dining out, sports and travel Voice/Box 50994 (4/26) ROMANTIC, DIVORCED, WHITE MALE seeking attractive, sexy female (36-43) who enjoys can­ dlelight dinners, playing golf and traveling. We’ll get acquainted while relaxing in a warm, bub­ bling jacuzzi. Please send note. Voice/Box 50993 (4/26) ___________ TIRED OF LOSERS, EGOMANIACS, and space cadets? Single, white male, 32. caring, professional, athletic, searching for friendship, possibly a relationship.

Note and photo appreci­ ated. Users and abusers need not apply.

Voice/Box 50100 (4/26) ARE THE BARS BECOMING A DRAG? Are tired of the over­ weight, unattractive men you’ve met in the person­ al ads? Call this breath of fresh air! Young 43, good-looking, great body, non-smoker, loves life.

Voice/Box 50991 (4/26) DOMINANT, WHITE MALE,47, handsome, educated, loving, requires passionate, devoted woman for life, 40-47, looks not as important as dear heart and open mind. Voice/Box 50989 (4/26) __________ MIDDLE AGED CYBER PUNK seeks black clad rock queen for nocturnal adventure. The music is never too loud. Voice/Box 50988(4/26) _________ RADIO-ACTI VELY HUMOROUS, nice-look­ ing, maternal, 40ish, sin­ gle, white male broad­ caster with passion for 60's oldies, 70’s sitcoms and classic comedies.

Seeks Shoshana Shoshana Lonstein look-alike, fullfigured, yet fit female, mid tr> W. I------- sun. to lain late ‘3 0’s, to "bowk

by TOM TOMORROW

painting or SPARKY3 RENDERED SY MARf KOCHER OF 5An LUIS oSlSpa..._____________

dSfi ...THE ENIGMKTiC SPARKY HEAD OF EAStpd ND...5UB/AiTlEt> BY LORi Pu$7gR ac BOSQUE PARKS, NEW /AEX1O. ER 6F 1

bath and love. Letters preferred. Voice/ Box 50987 (4/19)_______ _ ATTRACTIVE, PROFES­ SIONAL, SINGLE, white male, 38, seeks profes­ sional female for fun in the sun, under the moon, and everywhere in between. Two wheeled and aquatic excitement in store. Dependentless and smokeless, please.

Voice/Box 50986 (4/19) FRIEND AND SWEET­ HEART WANTED. I'm in my 40's, attractive, busi­ ness owner, I enjoy water sports, snow and water skiing. I travel, play ten­ nis, golf and dive. I'm looking for a young, slim, fit, attractive girl who enjoys some of these activities and who wants someone who works out, runs, wants to give and receive, who listens and talks and who can afford to do all life has to offer.

Please send note and photo. Voice/Box 50985 (4/19) _________ DOMINANT, HAND­ SOME, FINANCIALLY SECURE, white male, 34, seeks to provoke a response from an attrac­ tive, white female who desires possession, experimentation, rapture I'll help release your ulti­ mate expression as a woman. Voice/Box 50984 (4/19) _________ TAKE A CHANCE on a good looking, warm hearted, professional with a great sense of humor, 43, slim, outgoing and adventurous.

Make something good happen.

Photo and note please.

Voice/Box 50983 (4/19) BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, 7’, 270 lbs., weight lifter, with brains, from Guam, seeking non­ smoking, athletic, single, white female with brains and killer bod, 21-29. No dependents. Voice/Box 50982 (4/19)_________ INSINCERE, FINAN­ CIALLY INSECURE, close minded cad, seeks opposite for who know what! If you’re adventur­ ous, athletic and petite, write a short note and

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CALL I-900-77*

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$1.95/minute

1 MUST BE 18 YRS. OF AGE • REQUIRES TOUCH TONE PHONE • CALL 260-9770 TO PUBLISH YOUR OWN AD Yoice/Box f oreat6^ '°T9 ,res,?e=50981 (4/19) — ---- -— great great style, style, eveneven sli slight 9 eat Stvlo nvan SENSUOUS ASIAN sense of humor, no “chip" MALE, 45, profUs^^: 5'8", 158 lbs Age Ipufe?

Voice/Box 5098 comr-*r 7 ; — • r'^'^uuiuuai, . inr( .i-------- ■ v * seeks kind, cheerful, pret- T, aVwom^N SOUG •y. trim, buxom lad/fo'r hT k

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passionate romance.’n.ii cali passionate me. Home phone number disclosed on Voice/Box >------------ You \—’* '

Attributes: I Corinthians 13. Requirements: Sense of hurnor and adventure, Romantics and dreamers e^d.g V°|ce/Box 50852 preferred. Ages 25-35.

Result: Bearded, aucnuvc, attentive, qiKi«, roINULt, WHITE MALE, medteal professional, for Itaiian, Italian, 39.

39, massnnr masseur and triendshin/nntAntial*?9Q friendship/potential??? /comedy 'r'r”/'r4v promoter, seeks Action Plan: Photo with slim, independent female, ?cu>aie, n°te preferred. Voice/Box 40's. Send replies rc'lios *~ to 50935(4/12) Voice/Box 50950 F4/1 9) "" LOOKING FOR THAT WHITE MALE, 48, seeks GIRL. Single, white, pro­ white female, friendship 'wivnm iau fessional mate, male, oo 5’8",, 150 not commitment. Enjoy lbs., lbs-. no dependents. Dark playing pool and tennis. hair, hair. blui blue e;zz, eyes, enjoys d?.. dinInto running, dancing, sail- my, in9. idancing, cooking, wine,'movies ing, and intelligent conver- pasta, wine, i—“'s— and i i-s sense of sation. Voice/Box 50949 beach. Has humor accompanied by (4/19) __________ NICE GUY, MARRIAGE- warm heart. Looking for MINDED. Single, white that cute, special some­ male, tall, thin, non­ one. Football fan a definite plus, Voice/Box 50884 drinker, non-smoker, (4/12)________________ employed, 27. Seeking SINGLE,, WHITE MALE, vvniic MHLE, single/divorced female, 18- oiinulc settle. 27, dark hair, dark eyes, eye: 30, who wants to settle Mail preferred, Voice/Box seeking the company of a physically or red50948(4/19) i~n.. fit blonde --------head, 23-30, for a romanWITTY, ROMANTIC, ATH­ tic, mature relationship.

LETIC, tall, dark, hand­ Photo please. Letter pre­ some, professional, single, ferred. Voice/Box 50933 white male, 39, likes (4/12)________________ Sinatra, sports, sun, (and moon), in search of intelli­ LATINA LINDA TO HELP gent selective goddess, ME learn Espanol. I have 30-40, studied cassettes and 30-40, who who is is fit, fit, funny, ' sensual, and serious about books for four months as I a meaningful relationship. wa?Lt0 Note and photo preferred, and the Canbbean Teach to understand wh.l* while wa we All responses answered. me fn go to fine restaurantes, sail Voice/Box 50947 (4/12) the warm brisas in my sail­ MENTALLY AND PHYSI­ boat, dance the night CALLY STABLE, single, away, travel and have white male, 27, 6’1", 190 mucho fun. You are 34-43, lbs., looking for single, and also have a nice figure white female who enjoys and good personality. I am bowling, movies, dancing, a single gentleman with going to the beach and very good looks and good having fun, note and photo physic, 5’10", 177 lbs., with please. Voice/Box 50946 blonde hair and eyes of (4/12)_________________ azul. Executive with large SINGLE, WHITE MALE, Jacksonville firm and have 6’3”, 200 LBS, amber 48 years. Favor of writing eyes, self-assured, finan­ a letter in English and you cially comfortable, roman­ must include a fotografia. tic and caring. Gracias. Voice/Box 50932 Experienced in affairs of (4/12) Fhe^heartyseek white .

CHRISTIAN ROCKER. female with intense and Single, white male, 28, wonderful emotions. Letter 5’7", 160 lbs., long, wavy and photo required. black hair, hazel eyes, Voice/Box 50945 (4/12) physically fit. Enjoys all LAID BACK. 29. iPHYSItype’s’oof ’f activities. Sings types L mII> DMi-zrx, i i i CALLY FIT, homeowner, for prominent Christian %n91g: enjoys scuba, windsurfing windsurfing, rock e unnsiian leuiaic, io iobike rides, and travel as white Christian female, Chnstian well as quiet evenings 30, petite, physically fit, > Christian rock ig and listening Io who enjoys reading ' 1 MW andI has Christian music. Seeks fit, educated „, music female722-32, for friendvalues. All letters and calls ■ UllldiC, iwi — ____I------ \/ziina/Rr»Y Voice/Box ship and dating. Voice/Box answered.

50931 (4/12) 50944(4/12) EST FIT, 6'1", 170 ATTRACTIVE, NONHONEST, FIT. 6T >s,'' <successful, White SMOKER divorced, wMe lbs tale 45 seeks discreet, male, eariy 50 s, average s^^rtprofeVX exciu>.y one attractive, white female who is unsatisfied.

S dp“oU“ no?: p?eafS^nd, and Unmora^on En ov dining Movies. Site ani

NEW TO AREA. Brittlsh, female, for close/perma- cise too much. Beach divorced, white, profes­ nent relationship. Letters activities normally prevail. sional male, 6'4", 212 Its, 6’, 200 lbs., 2 kids. lbs, preferred. Voice/Box handsome, fit, mid 30's, Interested?

Call. n'e 50921 (4/5) seeks attractive, slim, sin- MATE WANTED. Me: Voice/Box 50911 (4/5) gle/divorced, white, profes­ Middle aged, 6’, 165 lbs., MISSING YOUR GLASS sional female, 25-35 with trim, technical profession­ SLIPPER? This nice gen­ good sense of humor for al, lives on a yacht, faithful, tleman has it! I'm a white, fun times and — — - healthy. You: Slim, firm, non-smoker, 35, 5’11", 175 friendship/relationship. very sensual, active, lbs. I love aerobics, Voice/Box 50928 (4/12) iuvioo, uanQiny, inquisitive mind, laughs ■T movies, dancing, conver­ FINANCIALLY FINANCIALLY SECURE, SECURE, often, sings sometimes, sation, dining dir‘!r*g out, 'M,‘. and the WHITE ATTORNEY, vvniic Mi luniNcr, 49, sirong strong uesire desire io to duiiu build uumeuy Comedy tuns, Zone. iih I’m luuMiiy looking 6’, 235 lbs, loves to dance, superior love relationship, for a nice slender lady, 26QaaL-e oc 36, with similar similar iniorocfc interests.

Seeks, caring relationship. Voice/Box cnnnn 50920 //t/c\ (4/5) Would prefer non-obese SAIL AWAY, Sade, craw­ Brown eyes a plus, sense woman, but what you are fish etoufee, Chardonnay, of humor a must, Letters is more important than negligee. Would enjoy a only. Voice/Box 50910 what you look like. Letters savvy, sensual wingnut, (4/5)_________________ preferred.

Voice/Box 30-46, to be) my co-pilot. co-puoi. MELLOW, SINGLE, 50927(4/12) _______ your cleared Garlic man, y?7" —1 WHITE MALE, 27, 6', 196 -- 'Letters lbs., non-smoker, fit and LOOKING TO COURT A on runway 14.

SPECIAL LADY, 25-35, for nlease. pie; No coupons. understanding, seeking single, white female who friendship and possibly voicice/Box 50919 (4/5) more. Who’s pretty inside AVERAGE, WHITE MALE, enjoys movies, dancing, and out. Warm and caring, 45. would like to meet sports, diving, socializing please respond with average, white female, 30note/photo. Voice/Box 40, for friendship, dating. Letter/photo ,?,c,ase' possible more. Voice/Box Voice/Box 50909 (4/5)-----50926 (4/12) _______ SINGLE, WHITE MALE, CAREER-MINDED, SIN­ 50918 (4/5) GLE, WHITE MALE, 29. DEPENDABLE, WELL J?5, living in retirement Jacksonville native, likes EDUCATED, wealthy, home, seete single white attractive, comedy, top movies, comeay, lop 40 hu tractive, slim, fun loving, female, in 50 s for .v. fnendmusic, sports, and dining 6’ San Jose area man, 45, sh|P and companionship, out. Looking for single, seeks meaningful relation- enjoys country dances, female, 25-30, for dating, ship with female of like fleamarkets. Non-smoker possible relationship, quotiuco, qualities 30-45.

Voice/Box and non-drinker. Possible ou Voice/Box 2) 50917(4/5) 50^)8°^/S1'^‘ Voice/^ox )ice/Box 50925. (4/1 (4/12) 50917(4/5)

°r ius> ab°ut anx'h’ng-

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PLAY JEOPARDY WITH MEI Well-traveled, wellaio.

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eopardy igle status status |n in 5Jeopardy with trim, attractive, adventltrnil<; tmattanhod. turous, unattached, white white female. Note and photo please. Voice/Box 50912

SINGLE, WHITE MALE, 6’, professional, 59, would like to meet slim, trim, pro­ portionate, single, white female. Like dancing, rock and roll. All replies answered. Voice/ Box 50924(4/5) N.CEnGUYWOU^ TO BE first in your heart.

Very“attracfive; blonde, bluj eyes, 6;, fit. hard *

"®®kecjated. Mail only, ,,pP„fRnv gnMO (4/12) Voice/a ouu y.—4— HANDSOME, TALL, SIN GLE«hrie Ctast.an male Baptist, 20, ba .'/u . ®°nDf"1okde,f'u|| |irJe, fuli

female 25-35, slender, leiuaiu.

Nonactive, for romance. Non sm0 |(er. Letters preferred, smoker. preferred.

Voice/Box 50923 (4/5)-----^RACT|VE F1'T, attractive, FIT, EDUCATEDi hone st, successhonest, ful. white male «, seeks

(4/12)—

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mature,

good-looking,

gjgg*

(4/12) ___ 40 YEAR OLdTpROFES^ RlONAL educated guy, 5'11- not from here, beaches seeks classy. trim, sensual, single, white

i wiui I have for same qualities I dating ant)..a.p°.ss(liu“Lour tionship. If this fits y Ascription please resend with letter and .Photo, Voice/Box 50929^ (4/26)

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You’ll find it

ROMANCE. Beach boy with slow hands, loving heart seeking beauty, exotic tastes, devotion, in return for security and return for security and honestv Note and photo please.yVoice/Box 50939

s udent hon-

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travel, romance and inti­ macy.

—•— r- - Voice/Box 50922 (4/5) uv ____ |NG? And are you good at jt? Selective, 40+,.executive, tall, proportionate, intelligent, funny, excellent communicator seeking smart. 30's-40's. ready

WARM, »»nnivi, SECURE, ui_nuBEAUTIFUL HOME looking for and neat female to bring 1fire to my hearth.

Passionate, attractive, 35 y| ar Old’ ,... j, white male, loves children, currently taking care of me. Note50^6 pre^d°'voice/BoT

EQUAL PARTNER WANTED. Average white male, 46, 5'9", 160 lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, degreed professional, affectionate, sincere, seek­ ing, single, white female, to age 47, fit, to laugh, have fun with and if the chemistry is there work together for a permanent relationship. Letter, photos welcome Voice/Box 50890 (4/19)___________ HONEST, HARDWORK­ ING, WHITE MALE, 35, likes beach, cooking out, movies, parties, but quiet time too. Looking for nice lady to share some time with me, Kids o.k. Maybe lead to something perma­ nent for both of us.

Voice/Box 50888 (4/26) SINCERE, DIVORCED, WHITE MALE, 29, 175 lbs., hard of hearing, nonsmoker, Christian, seeks white female, 23-36, under 130 lbs., for friendship possibly more. Voice/Box 50874________________ I WOULD LIKE TO MEET A LATINA LADY for friend­ ship and possible relation­ ship. I am a 34-year-old, 5'10", 180 lb., single, white

the theater, movies, dining out, and travel. Re-sponse by mail preferred.

Voice/Box 50815 (4/19) ROMANTIC, WHITE nU'ihVIVIMUC, , IUU IMO., MALE, UUb, 60s, U 61I ^165 lbs. retired Marine Engineer, financially secure, no dependents, seeks attrac­ tive, white lady, under 60, slender or normal to be my friend, lover and compan­ ion and to inherit my estate. Voice/Box 50633 (5/31)________________ 49 YEAR OLD, WHITE ------------------77 CHRISTIAN MAN, 55, 6 , MALE, seeking petite, classical and sacred down to earth female, 28music, health conscious, 40, for friendship, compan11UII its life, me, nature iiaiuic and anu outvuiionShif? home ionship and possible me>r_ mardoor activities, seeking liayu. page. II love love the the outdoors, outdoors, uw.-------------------------------Christian lady with similar fishing, camping and bowlqualities and interest. Non- -ng Non-smoker, social smoker, non-drinker, 5'6” drinker. Voice/Box 50765 or taller, slim and neat. (5/31) ________ Voice/Box 50913 (4/5) DID YOU REEL IN YOUR DIVORCED, WHITE SWEETIE while fishing MALE, Taurean wondering through the Eligibles ads? if a lousy car, a poor dri- if SOi drop Irop us a line... we ving record, bad credit, |jke to hear about it. Send and failure to enforce child tc: to: Zliglblcc, Eligibles, z!z c/o Fc!:c Folio AXCCPhillips Dkilllrxj support payments is the Weekly, 9456 1’1, norm for the Jacksonville Hwy., Suite woman. I don't dance, Jacksonville, Fla., 32256. watch much T.V. or exer-

(4/5)_________________ EXOTIC DANCER. Black male, 6'4", would like to meet sleek, elegant woman that matches my own elegance in all dance: Jazz, modem, tap, ballet.

Lean, tight body, very psy­ chic. Race not important.

Voice/Box 50915 (4/5) INTELLIGENT HUNK seekS warm conversations and intensely passionate lights. Voice/Box 50914

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undreds of people gathered at the 18th Annual Arts Awards luncheon at WJCT to hear how business and the arts can work together and to honor the winners of the annual awards presented by the Arts Assembly. Each year an individual, a business and an edu­ cator receive recognition for their contributions to the local arts community. Robin Shepherd was honored with the Individual Award for developing a mentor program for local and foreign students, for providing promotional services for cultural organizations and for his own artistic work. Anne Saltmarsh, Duval County liaison for the Cummer Gallery’s Art Connections program, received the Educator Award for reaching more than 40,000 students annually with innovative programming. Maxwell House Coffee Company received the Business Award for sponsoring a variety of arts programming. Each winner received a piece of artwork designed by Jason Fort. As wonderful as the awards section of the program was, perhaps the most important part of the luncheon was the message delivered by Nancy Meier, executive director of the Arts and Business Council in New York. Meier told her audience that businesses and cultural organizations can form mutual­ ly beneficial partnerships.

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Anecdotes are rotten things on which to base public policy.

CREEKir3

By Travis Charbeneau OU are often assaulted at the end of broadcast news pro­ some ta^e on the upbeat human interest, story.

These merry anecdotes are presumably tacked e . on in order to leave us merely depressed about the state of current affairs and not certifiably insane. Waiy of report­ ing only bad news and no good news, editors enjoy dredging up a nice heart-warmer. But, in truth, examples like the following represent a nasty, insidious trend in journalism: Little Johnny Bootstrap, 17, spends his spare time sharing his flak jacket with Ms. Eleanor Old, 98. Here the athletic twosome nimbly dodge rocket propelled grenades on their way to the mar­ ket where Johnny is the all-night bag boy. Johnny is also a straight-A student at local Hell High. His story so impressed Ross Perot that, if Johnny survives high school, the Texas billionaire has promised to pay for his first semester at college!"

“Bucking a bleak national trend, Like We Care, Inc. is now offering free, comprehensive health care benefits for every employee, even temps! CEO William C. Benevolent said he was moved to initiate the program after a narrow escape from cancer involving a personal visit from God." “No more special interest influence for Rep. Ron Right! Our local congressman has sworn to rely on donations of $100 or less and will refuse even to listen to lobbyists on any issue, relying in his all-Girl Scout volunteer staff to dig up the relevant facts on pending legislation.”

Many viewers sigh responsively.

There is hope, after all. If only all ghetto dwellers, coiporate presidents and slime­ ball politicians would be more like Johnny Bootstrap, Bill Benevolent and Rob Right, why, we could save this coun­ try.

And there’s the insidious, nutzoid sub­ text. If only pigs had wings they could fly, but a single winged pig, however often he appears on tv, does not cancel the laws of aerodynamics. Sure, we all admire the one-in-a-million hero who pops up against all odds to startle us with his or her noteworthy courage, uncommon generosity, unusual honesty The danger lies in the resulting temptation to mold ordi­ nary public policy around the exploits of extraordinary private cit­ izens In the context of a news broadcast this temptation is almost irresistible. After all, we’ve just run a gauntlet of bad news about poverty poor health care, corrupt government. We are then ladled a dollop of video treacle as some sort of visionaiy

This "if only" yearning expresses itself most noisily in the campaigns of religious right Republicans like Oliver North who call for some mystical resurrection of traditional values (courage, gen­ erosity, public floggings). And the appetite is continually whetted by “if only” news bytes that prove time and again: if only people hold the line morally, they can triumph over the adversities crush­ ing virtually everyone else and end up brightening an otherwise dismal newscast while restoring the public to vitality.

Liberals have their own variation on this nonsense, one that plays right into the hands of their adversaries: the substitution of charity for policy. Anywhere poverty in particular is at issue, some liberals will itch to begin doling out dough to the deserving poor.

As often as not, the deserving poor dole back disregard or hostili­ ty or automatic weapons fire, perhaps all three — to the special delight of told-you-so conservatives who thoroughly enjoy having it both ways: "The American people are naturally courageous, generous and honest folk who can durn well take care of their own just like they did during the Great Depression. But. If you want to raise my taxes for their sake, you’re a misguided dupe who thinks that the natural criminal classes can somehow change their stripes. You bleeding hearts point to deserving poor like the telegenic mutant Johnny Bootstrap when everyone knows that the deserving poor deserve to be poor because they are lazy, lawless knaves."

Numberless atrocities occurred dur­ ing German industry’s vicious adminis­ tration of slave labor during World War II. In William Manchester’s The Arms of Krupp, the author relates one minor inci­ dent given in testimony to the 1948 Nuremberg tribunal against Alfried Krupp: “Once the [Krupp] foreman lashed Tad’s face so badly that the boy was nearly disfigured; he was saved by the intervention of an SS man.”

I can just hear the upbeat spin Joseph Goebbels would have put on this had he decided, instead of suicide, on some mollification of the Allies: “Today, SS Lieutenant Franz Hengsbach intervened to save a guest worker from the whip of a sadistic Krupp overseer, once again proving the kindness and alert caring of our Fuhrer’s elite.” Similar tales of freakish compassion did indeed brighten post-war faith in the existence of Good Germans. But that didn’t stop the Allies from hanging many of them.

Nor should the occasional happy fable distract the American public and its policy makers. Relying on the serendipitous appearance of a compassionate Nazi to save the day makes about as much sense as relying on our Johnny Bootstraps, Bill Benevolents and Rob Rights — or the Boston Private Industry Council.

According to a cheety NBC Nightly News wrap-up one night last summer, these private businessmen gave inner city teens good summer jobs. Of course, only half of those who registered were accepted and the vast majority of teens didn’t qualify to reg­ ister. Still, between the lines lurked the eternally naive “if only": “If only there were more Private Industry Councils (and less pub­ lic ‘make work’), we could abolish massive urban teen unem­ ployment.”

Anecdotal evidence is rightfully rejected in every court but that of public opinion. And, while remarkable people performing remarkable acts deserve to be remarked upon, such diversions, however appealing, can be dangerous. Policies which address the perennially depressing norms will in the end leave us far less depressed.Q

Noteworthy caurage,, uncommon geouerosGty and simsyal honesty reaSHy are noteworthy uncommon and EmrmsosilL

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CUr^All could be well if only public policy promoted good charac­ ter traits instead of further undermining them with more discredit­ ed soulless government programs like revamped welfare, nation­ al hlalth or campaign finance reform. Like the Gipper said gov­ ernment is the problem, not the solution. People are the solution and obviously good people are out there. We just saw some on

tV! That fact alone the newsworthiness of virtue, ought to steer us , Th h, Ht doesn’t Noteworthy courage, uncommon generosity clear, but it doesn _ their adjectives preclse]y because and unusual hon ty rosily uncommon and honesty courage is note^° L, remarkable because they have always unusual. ^“t wvThort supply- But that hasn’t stopped many, been in remarkably short suppy vi(1ues mostly conservative types by an^cdote: if only we put a in abundance) from urgi g P ,^o|iyce excepted), these virtues

t Folio welcomes submissions

OOOBO

<? hmissions should be 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest and/or concern Send BackPages Io Tim Thornton, Folio Weekly, 9456 Phillips Hwy., expressed in BackPage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly

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