Folio Weekly 12/10/14

FREE! I DEC. 10-16, 2014 I folioweekly.com

LAST CHANCE TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE BARTENDERS! P.35

NORTHEAST FLORIDA’S INDEPENDENT VOICE SINCE 1987

OUR JOURNALISM GETS RESULTS! P.10

GET OUT OF MY LIFE, WOMAN! P.18

2 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 3

CONTENTS //

MAIL

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 • VOLUME 28 • NUMBER 37

What’s Really Disturbing

24

28 EDITOR’S NOTE CITIZEN MAMA FIGHTIN’ WORDS NEWS

5 6 7 8

PUBLISHER • Sam Taylor

staylor@folioweekly.com / 904.260.9770 ext. 111

EDITORIAL

EDITOR • Jeffrey C. Billman jbillman@folioweekly.com / ext. 115 SENIOR EDITOR • Marlene Dryden mdryden@folioweekly.com / ext. 131 A&E EDITOR • Daniel A. Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com / ext. 128 WRITERS-AT-LARGE Susan Cooper Eastman seastman@folioweekly.com Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com CARTOONIST • Tom Tomorrow CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Rob Brezsny, John E. Citrone, Julie Delegal, AG Gancarski, Claire Goforth, Dan Hudak, Shelton Hull, MaryAnn Johanson, Pat McLeod, Nick McGregor, Cameron Meier, Jeff Meyers, Kara Pound, Scott Renshaw, Carley Robinson, Chuck Shepherd, Abigail Wright VIDEOGRAPHER • Doug Lewis INTERNS • Elena Federico, Darby Moore

COVER STORY OUR PICKS MUSIC THE KNIFE

12 16 18 24

DESIGN

ART DIRECTOR • Shan Stumpf sstumpf@folioweekly.com / ext. 116 SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Dana Fasano dfasano@folioweekly.com / ext. 117 GRAPHIC DESIGNER • Allison Walsh awalsh@folioweekly.com / ext. 117 PHOTO EDITOR • Dennis Ho dho@folioweekly.com / ext. 122

BUSINESS & ADMINISTRATION BUSINESS MANAGER • Ashaley J. Oliver fpiadmin@folioweekly.com / ext. 119 VICE PRESIDENT • T. Farrar Martin fmartin@folioweekly.com

DISTRIBUTION

Bobby Pendexter / cosmicdistributions@gmail.com

19

MOVIES MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS DINING DIRECTORY

25 27 28 31

33 35 37 39

BITE-SIZED ASTROLOGY I SAW U BACKPAGE

ADVERTISING

PUBLISHER Sam Taylor staylor@folioweekly.com / ext. 111 SALES MANAGER Kathrin Lancelle klancelle@folioweekly.com ext. 124 • Downtown, Riverside, Northside, San Marco SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGER CJ Allen callen@folioweekly.com / ext. 120 • Beaches, Ponte Vedra Beach, Amelia Island ACCOUNT MANAGERS Ryan Grimes rgrimes@folioweekly.com ext. 127 • Mandarin, Orange Park ACCOUNT MANAGER / SPECIAL EVENTS MANAGER Ro Espinosa respinosa@folioweekly.com ext. 129 • Southside, Avondale, Arlington

Folio Weekly is published every Wednesday throughout Northeast Florida.

It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication.

Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received two weeks in advance of event date.

Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2014. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free issue copy per person.

Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by U.S. mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly.

Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 27,000 press run. Audited weekly readership 105,315.

GET SOCIALIZED FOLIOWEEKLY.COM

FOLIO WEEKLY STORE folioweeklystore.com

This publication offers you great digital experiences using the Layar App.

thefolioweekly

@folioweekly

BITE CLUB

facebook.com/folioweeklybiteclub

Download Layar and scan when you see the Layar symbol to discover interactive content.

@folioweekly

Mobile App

For the best in Live Music, Arts, Sports, Food and Nightlife, download the DOJAX Mobile App by texting “Folio” to 77948

9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 • Fax: 904.260.9773

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

Dear Councilman Yarborough, in response to your comments regarding the pregnant nude photograph at MOCA, I am very disturbed that your view of a naked pregnant woman is pornographic [News, “Art! (As Approved

by Clay Yarborough, Guardian of Our Civic Virtue),” Jeffrey C. Billman and Shan Stumpf, Dec. 3]. While art is subjective, there is nothing sexual in nature of the composition of said photograph. What seems obscene is that fact that the beauty of a naked woman in the throes of motherhood is linked in your mind with explicit and indecent sex.

Rebecca Hepburn

The Olive Garden of Life

Dear Council President Yarborough, while many of my colleagues and friends have responded to your position concerning MOCA and Angela Strassheim’s photographs [Arts, “Focused Development,” Kara Pound, Nov. 26] by taking the high road and attempting to explain why you’re wrong, I’m going to do the opposite.

You’re stupid. You’re so stupid you thought a quarterback was a refund. You’re so stupid you jumped out of a window and went up. You’re so stupid you think a nude of a pregnant woman is pornographic.

You smell. All the other council members have personally told me that they hate being around you because you smell like Krystal burger farts. You were the paper mill smell that used to be in Jacksonville, but you retired and became a stinky dude in a smelly suit.

You’re boring. You are the personification of a pair of khakis and a golf shirt. You’re the Olive Garden of life.

Maybe have a little decency and don’t meddle where you’re completely ignorant.

Roy Albert Berry, via folioweekly.com

Art and Porn

Thanks, Clay, for sticking your nose in how I raise my child about what is art and what is porn. Seriously, I thought my parenting was very subpar at best. So thank you for not giving me a chance to teach my child the beauty of a pregnant woman. We should be ashamed of life growing inside us.

Nicole Moore, via Facebook

Leadership

Someone in legal needs to pull Yarborough aside and explain the ghastly position he put himself in. Someone a bit more cultured (perhaps a child or two) needs to pull Yarborough aside and explain the beauty found in art. Then someone needs to explain to the City Council (again) why Jacksonville will never progress if Yarborough and his ilk are considered leadership.

Ken Hurley, via Facebook

He Seems Nice

Hey, Billman, I hope an illegal alien drunk driver crashes into you and you spend your miserable, self-hating, guilt-stricken life in a wheelchair [Editor’s Note, “Fury Signifying Nothing,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Nov. 26].

The country is getting darker and English is becoming foreign so, yes, it is “ethnic cleansing.”

Well, I guess that makes me a “xenophobe.”

So be it. Just like Bill Clinton, you probably “look forward to the day white Europeans are a minority.” Sadly, he will get his wish.

Billman, go back to Obamadelphia and take a late-night ride on the SEPTA City Division.

While you’re there, maybe you can apply for the copy boy job at Philadelphia Gay News.

Paul Bunting

EDITOR’S NOTE

IN DEFENSE OF PUBLIC SHAMING

As you might have read by now — either from needed to happen, for the good of the city.

It doesn’t matter whether his beliefs are the blog I posted Thursday evening or the Times-Union story that regurgitated it the next sincerely held or the byproduct of some bad day — City Councilman Robin Lumb, likely the mushrooms he got at the grocery store. He, an next chairman of the Duval County Republican elected official of this municipality, the City Party, is not happy with the Cultural Council Council president, slandered a fine artist as of Greater Jacksonville. In case you missed it: a pornographer, slandered her work as smut.

Last Thursday, Lumb sent a stern email to the He embarrassed this city on a national stage; Cultural Council’s board members, chiding when was the last time The New York Times them for an email the organization had sent out deigned mention the doings of a Jacksonville that Monday to rally support for the Museum city councilman? of Contemporary Art Jacksonville, and against The way to show the world that Clay its recent nemesis, Council President Clay Yarborough does not speak for us — that we’re Yarborough, who famously labeled a picture of a not all small-minded, uncultured hicks who naked pregnant lady in MOCA’s Project Atrium know nothing about art (and, for that matter, exhibit pornographic and demanded that Mayor nothing about porn, either) — was to do exactly Alvin Brown defund the museum unless it was what we did: Smother this crap in its cradle with removed. (Brown did not.) great and overwhelming prejudice, to let it be Most troubling to Lumb, however, was known that we will not tolerate anyone trying to this: The email linked to a story I’d written bully or censor our arts community ever again. on folioweekly.com that “made a number All that said, I get where Lumb is coming of disparaging remarks about Councilman from: “When a group like the Cultural Council Yarborough.” (True.) This was, in Lumb’s view, starts to accept public funding, they became an beyond the pale, and if the Cultural Council advocacy organization that of necessity needs to “continues to display such an egregious lack of walk a fine [line],” he told me in an email. (As judgment and common sense,” he might stop Lumb voiced some concern about being quoted supporting funding for the arts, which he’d done in context, I’ve posted the entire exchange on our blog.) “That line was crossed when they reluctantly, as an “act of political comity.”

(Quick digression: Dear T-U, the name used public funds to achieve a political objective: of this publication is Folio Weekly, not Folio silencing a critic by shaming him.”

That sounds entirely Magazine, and we’d reasonable, except that, appreciate it if you got well, I don’t see how that right. See, there’s the Cultural Council actually a publication actually tried to shame called Folio: Magazine, Yarborough deserved Yarborough. The only which is based in thing, beyond the link Connecticut and covers every ounce of to my story — which the magazine publishing was included in a string industry. They probably derision thrown of links to six other don’t know who Robin his way. It needed stories on the subject — Lumb is.) that could be construed The same day to happen, for the Lumb rose in defense as “shaming” was the of Yarborough against Cultural Council’s good of the city. the Cultural Council, official statement: columnist Ron Littlepage “Yarborough’s objection defended him, too, … is unfortunate and in the pages of the could be viewed as an daily newspaper, pleading with us to respect effort to stifle artistic expression.” Pretty benign.

Yarborough’s beliefs and not make fun of him.

Yes, the Cultural Council encouraged people To wit: “Yarborough is entitled to his to call or email Yarborough’s office to register opinion, and having followed his City Council their displeasure. And Lumb believes that this call career for almost eight years now, I’m certain he for action and the link to my “disparagements,” is sincere in his belief. … Unfortunately, some as he puts it, crossed the bridge from “principled have poked fun at Yarborough, as was evidenced advocacy to political activism,” but I fail to see by signs protesters carried during Art Walk how activism in the service of advocacy is a Wednesday evening.” bad thing. The two are quite often, and quite Littlepage, after all, grew up in a conservative necessarily, intertwined. Advocating on behalf Baptist church, so he understands those, like of the arts community is part and parcel of the Yarborough, who believe that the Bible is the Cultural Council’s mission. When politicians inerrant word of God, and since Yarborough’s interfere, political activism becomes necessary.

The day Lumb wrote his letter, I reached out discomfort with the human form and his desire to impose his own prudish sensibilities on the to Cultural Council chairman Abel Harding rest of us stem from these sincere beliefs, we for comment. He more or less declined; the organization is more interested in smoothing shouldn’t say mean things about him.

“It’s always dangerous to try to impose one’s the waters than stirring the pot. “I don’t think religious views on an entire city,” Littlepage engaging in a back-and-forth in a public space opined. “But as a citizen and a taxpayer, would be productive at this point,” he wrote in a Yarborough had the right to ask for that. He also Facebook message.

He’s probably right. There’s no need for had that right as a member of the City Council.”

Sure, he had the right to ask. And the rest of another fight. The Cultural Council, and the us had the right — actually, the obligation — to city as a whole, already won this round, and rise up and say not just no, but hell no. decisively at that — thanks, in part, to a healthy Yarborough deserved every ounce of dose of public shaming. derision thrown his way — in these pages, at Jeffrey C. Billman Art Walk, by the Cultural Council (although I twitter/jeffreybillman don’t think they did, really). More important, it jbillman@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 5

CITIZEN MAMA

WHEN BIOLOGY BACKFIRES

Mental illness should carry no more of a stigma than appendicitis

H

uman beings are complex. Some of the most creative, curious, intelligent and sensitive individuals are also at the greatest risk of spiraling into deadly neurobehavioral disorders.

It’s a cruel trick of nature, a genetic curse.

And so it was with Sensitive Joe. “Sensitive Joe” was the college fraternity nickname given years ago to Myron May, the young attorney who shot three people at the Florida State University library in mid-November. All three survived, but one, shot in the spine, is paralyzed from the waist down.

The standoff ended in the wee hours when the police shot and killed May, who was wielding a semi-automatic pistol and had fired shots at the officers.

Talking about Myron May’s mental illness in no way diminishes the magnitude of FSU’s tragedy. It in no way underestimates the healing that needs to occur in Tallahassee. And it provides no guarantees that these tragedies won’t happen again.

But as human beings who believe we’re moving forward on the long arc of progress, we must all understand one thing: Seeking treatment for neuro-behavioral disorders should carry with it no more stigma than addressing appendicitis.

May’s former girlfriend confirmed that he was veering toward full-blown mental illness.

He believed the government was spying on him, video-recording him, targeting him for persecution. The elaborate details of the spying were unique to his own brain wiring. The same switch of the mind — however it was triggered, by whatever stresses — led him to suddenly leave his work in New Mexico and Texas and return to Florida.

There is no denying that clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and autism are brain-wiring variations that wreak havoc on people living in the modern world. Untreated, these people can also inflict harm on anyone.

The same genes that work to disorder life in our highly complex society, though, may have actually helped our ancestors survive their shorter, more vicious existence. Mental illness has also been the dark passenger in human vessels of extraordinary talent.

6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

Famous, brilliant people who changed the course of history — Joan of Arc, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein — are now thought to belong to the “neuro-minority.”

Revolutionary artists like Ludwig Von Beethoven, Vincent Van Gogh and Robin Williams also possessed unique neurological networks that at times produced unparalleled beauty and dazzling feats. At other times, the same genetic constellation created dangerously black thoughts.

Without going so far as to romanticize mental illness or in any way trivialize its effects on those who have it, consider the following: An individual’s splash of mania — in the right proportion — would have come in handy when our ancestral tribes ran out of food. The ability to shift into high gear and run to neighboring lands to find and retrieve sustenance would have been advantageous.

Likewise, a shaman’s spiritual vision — which we now call schizophrenic psychosis — played a role in energizing his kinsmen before the hunt.

Researchers believe that even clinical depression has a function: The people prone to it are highly analytical thinkers.

But as human culture has changed rapidly over time, our bodies haven’t quite caught up.

And the brain has nowhere else to live but in our bodies. Can it help us to know that the horrible, harmful, deadly symptoms of mental disorders may have a flipside?

Once upon a time, the ability to preserve weight to survive hunger in times of scarcity was an enviable genetic feature. Now, much like the appendix or mental illnesses, the weight-preserving trait backfires. Obesity leads to heart disease and diabetes.

Yet we don’t hesitate to seek medical attention for those conditions.

Humanity, you’ve come a long way — far enough to understand how, sometimes, our own biology can ricochet against us. We need to understand mental illness as being one more evolutionary echo that we can, and must, manage.

Julie Delegal mail@folioweekly.com A version of this column previously appeared on Context Florida.

FIGHTIN’ WORDS

ON SUICIDE

We’ve seen too many lives snuffed out prematurely by their own hands

T

his year, a lot of good journalists have filled column inches and radio and television airtime exploring the causes of Jacksonville’s surging murder rate. Everyone has his or her solution, and for the most part, we all want the same thing: for the violence to stop.

Considerably less space has been used exploring a more silent and pervasive killer, one that claims twice as many American lives and is showing no indication of slowing its body count. In recent years, an average of eight suicides a day have occurred in the Sunshine State, and the incidence of suicides has risen consistently over the last couple of decades, from 2,139 in 1995 to 2,892 last year, according to the Florida Suicide Prevention Coalition.

Whereas homicide tends to be an issue for those who live in high-crime areas with “blight” and a preponderance of illegal commerce, suicide has no such respect for geographical boundaries. Over the years, I’ve known my share of people who killed themselves — including one of my first girlfriends, who one wintry day in Pittsburgh leaped to her death from the top of a parking garage. Having wrestled with suicidal impulses in adolescence and for years beyond, before making peace with life not working out as my childhood plans insisted it must, every time I hear about a suicide, I know that it very easily could have been mine.

Having been there, I know this: The precursor to suicidal impulses is usually a feeling of disconnection from everyone around you, and from yourself. The body feels like a prison for the soul. And every action it takes feels like abject failure.

I’ve seen the impact of a couple suicides just this year. (Out of respect for the living, I won’t use their names; the survivors have more than enough to deal with.)

The first was a couple of months ago. A married man with a child, dealing with a long-term illness, who waited until his wife

and daughter were out of the house to shoot himself. A lot of folks turned up to his funeral.

And that mattered, in the sense that it was evidence of a life that meant a lot to a lot of people. In the end, though, it didn’t save his aging parents from having to bury their son.

The second happened more recently, on the edge of Thanksgiving and the holiday rush. A young man, 17 years old, a source of love and light for family and friends alike. The kind of kid whose friends hoped he would be ordained so he could officiate at their wedding ceremony someday. A talented musician, a sensitive kid — too sensitive for this world, someone who knew him better than I did told me. A kid with an adorable smile, who felt he had nothing left to live for.

He hanged himself.

There were two suicide notes that I know of — the first, to his parents, in which he said there was nothing they could have done to stop this from happening, that he would have done it in a year or two anyway if they’d stopped him now. The second one, to his girlfriend: No one knows what’s in that note, as the police have it. I can promise this: No words would have been sufficient solace, would heal that hole in the soul created when, without warning, a person you loved, saw as your future, consigned himself eternally to the past.

This time of year brings with it a lot of hurt. Widows and widowers remembering the partners they’ve lost; people of all ages lamenting, mourning, missing. The ads on TV, a constant din of happy sounds and positive reinforcement, which feel like mockery to the troubled mind and heart.

There are no easy solutions for the suicidal impulse. All we can do is listen, try to understand, try to love, and help those who feel it know that there is something to live for, some future that’s worth it.

AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7

NEWS

The JAG-OFF HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM: WEEK 14, JAGS VS. TEXANS

In a week when Shad Khan made news for upgrading the size of his yacht and dropping the hammer on the venerable Edgewood Bakery, it’s kind of a relief to have less controversial things to talk about, like the Jacksonville Jaguars.

On a cool day with a slate-gray sky, the 2-11 Jags took on their division rival, the 6-6 Houston Texans, playing late-season spoiler yet again. The Texans came into the game still on the periphery of AFC South title contention; the Jags have been out of it for a while, but the home team clearly is still playing for pride.

Some positives: In the first half, the Jags actually moved the ball. Blake Bortles threw downfield when he needed to, wasn’t afraid to run, put together long drives, etc. He got all the receivers involved — Allen Hurns, Marqise Lee, Cecil Shorts, as well as tight ends Marcedes Lewis and Clay Harbor — and used the whole field. This performance was light years removed from the one in Indy a couple of weeks ago.

The long passes opened up the dump-offs, like the screen to Toby Gerhart in the twominute drill, a play that wouldn’t have worked if Houston hadn’t respected the pass. Nothing spectacular, but not bad on a sloggy day.

The defense didn’t embarrass itself, either.

Texans running back Arian Foster was a factor early on, as he almost always is, but compared to the last time Texans quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick came to town, as a Tennessee Titan, the Jags defense was more staunch in the early going, holding Fitzmagic to 27 first-half yards.

As the rain picked up, the Jags’ 13-10 halftime lead looked remarkably stable. And pundits like me, who recently asked Gus how much longer he expected to be in his job, looked like fools.

Then, the second half.

A 16-play Houston drive, which ate up the best part of the third quarter, was one of those classic backbreakers, offering evidence that Houston had found some weaknesses in the Jags defense. Then Bortles threw an interception at the line of scrimmage — his patented move, which the Texans’ D.J. Swearinger gobbled up like the last dot on a Pac-Man board. The Texans cashed that in for an Arian Foster TD and a double-digit lead.

From there, the Jags were forced to pass, and deal with J.J. Watt and Brian Cushing in the backfield with the quickness. Bortles very quickly looked rattled, Gabbertesque, and the offensive rhythm fell off with the receivers. Once Houston got up 27-13, they started playing a softer zone, which Bortles took advantage of underneath, going to Lewis and Hurns on some quick passes to get them within field goal range.

Soon enough, fourth and 20, and the Jags have no plays for that … except a check down, which gave the remaining fans an excuse to check out.

After loss No. 12, it gets harder to figure out what to say. Sure, there’s progress – I spend a lot of time in these recaps attempting to document it, rather than burying the team for something so vulgar as wins and losses.

Really, though, it’s another lost season. Maybe the current regime can make its big Year 3 jump. They’re going to need to hit big in the next draft, and get some free agents to want to come here despite themselves. Even then, there are no guarantees.

AG Gancarski twitter/aggancarski mail@folioweekly.com

8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

THE

$325K

CHECKMARK Dispatches from the chaos wrought by a clerical error in a state rep race

A

tiny checkmark — or rather, the lack substantial portions of their hard-earned campaign of it — has led to chaos in the District 13 monies to fund [Fullwood’s] upcoming Democratic state representative race, a district that primary; a brazen request that was repeated via a November covers much of Downtown Jacksonville. For 10th email communication. The flaw in this strategy is that it the past four years, that seat has been held by two-term shows favoritism toward certain Democrats and could very well incumbent Democrat Reggie Fullwood, who was guaranteed to lead to division in our Caucus if the non-favored Democrat wins.” win again.

And then, assuming Fullwood survives next Tuesday’s Except for that checkmark. primary, there’s another obstacle in his way: The Republicans are putting up a sacrificial lamb named Lawrence Jefferson, who He had no competition in the Democratic primary in August, has very little chance of winning the liberal district but will force nor any Republican opponent in November. All he had to do was Fullwood to campaign anyway. fill out his qualifying papers correctly. But he and his staff failed to do so — twice, in fact — and the chaos set in [News, “And Our Here’s how it all started: A notary public who was confirming Next State Rep Could Have Been … You,” Derek Kinner, July 25]. documents for Fullwood’s campaign made a simple mistake — not checking a box that confirmed the notary knew him It’s still likely Fullwood will win, but now not without a fight, personally. Fullwood had already fixed an earlier mistake, but and not without costing taxpayers hundreds of thousands of then was notified about the second one by the state elections dollars and two special elections (the first of which will be held on Tuesday, Dec. 16) that should never have had to happen in office — 10 minutes before qualifying ended at noon, June 20. the first place.

He was in Jacksonville; the paperwork was in Tallahassee, about “We’ve estimated $325,000 for both two-and-a-half hours away. elections,” says Duval County Supervisor of At Holland’s urging, Fullwood challenged the Elections Jerry Holland. “Because of change ruling in court. Fullwood says the judge looked “I do think there at the entire issue and seemed flummoxed. in the law of early voting sites, we now have to “The judge said in his ruling the Legislature have seven early voting sites for the primary.” ought to be a didn’t give him enough room to make a This mess has also left District 13 with a legislative staff that has no boss — Fullwood legislative change decision, that he had to stick to the letter of the law,” Fullwood says. “It didn’t give him the is technically no longer a state rep — but must on that kind flexibility to make the right decision.” continue working for the district’s constituents So now Duval County has two new elections anyway. It also led to a court fight (which of minor to pay for.

Fullwood lost), and now talk about new legislation to remedy such qualifying-paper Holland and Fullwood say they want to push application error.” oversights. for new legislation that will allow some flexibility The sharks started circling immediately after in state qualifying. Currently, candidates for any Fullwood’s disqualification, and Jacksonville state office must file in Tallahassee, hundreds of City Council member Johnny Gaffney was the miles from home for many of them. first to dive in. Gaffney had expressed no interest in running “I do think there ought to be a legislative change on that kind for the seat before the clerical error left it open. Gaffney didn’t of minor application error,” Holland says. talk to Folio Weekly for this story, despite six phone calls to his Fullwood agrees. “Jerry did suggest I should challenge this,” office and cell phones. But he does have one key supporter — Fullwood says. “I am talking to the Democratic Party about Juan Gray, chairman of the Jacksonville Chapter of the Southern challenging it. I took his advice into account. I think I’m kind of torn over it. I think small things like this should not be Christian Leadership Council — who says that the Florida disqualified. But the rules are the rules.”

Democratic Party’s decision to back Fullwood over Gaffney, and give Fullwood $10,000, in effect putting its foot on the Meanwhile, the small staff of two trying to run the District scale even though he faces a primary opponent, could cause 13 office have to deal with daily calls from their constituents. disunity among Democrats. Gray twice hung up when Folio Hank Rogers, Fullwood’s political consultant, says the workers, Weekly pressed him about why the party backing an incumbent including a legislative assistant, can still assist them when they was an issue. (He sent a text message to the magazine’s editor have issues with state agencies like the Department of Children complaining about a reporter’s “people skills.”) and Families, for instance.

Gray later emailed a memo from State Rep. Dwayne L. “The office runs the same, as if there is a member,” Rogers Taylor, D-Daytona Beach, written after the Democrats’ drubbing says. “The only thing is they cannot put the representative’s name on Election Day. “Current leadership,” he wrote, “improperly out there or on any of the correspondence.” continues to interject itself into Democratic primaries, pouring The crew will operate without a captain until the special exorbitant funds into the races of their cherry-picked favorite general election, on Feb. 17.

Democratic candidates. During the climax of the election period, Derek Kinner many members … were contacted and requested to donate dkinner@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9

NEWS

WHAT HAPPENS ON FACEBOOK …

An FSU teacher resigns after Folio Weekly asks questions about a racist, homophobic online rant

I

f you spend any amount of time on Facebook — especially if your posts veer into the world of the political — this sort of thing isn’t unusual. There’s a post, and some comments, and they get heated. And then a friend of a friend jumps in, and things go off the rails.

This episode was no different.

Colin Lively, hair stylist to the rich and famous in New York City and Cleveland, had posted a thread last Thursday night on the police killings in Ferguson, Staten Island and Cleveland. A woman named Deborah O’Connor, a Facebook friend of a friend, interjected.

“YOU elected POTUS, Holder et al. And they are supposed to represent all Americans, not just blacks … why don’t these ass clowns insert themselves into their stories?”

She was just getting started. As the thread went on, and as Lively and others engaged her, O’Connor’s comments took on an increasingly racist, homophobic and just-plain-mean bent: “Take your Northern fagoot [sic] elitism and shove it up your ass.”

“I teach at a University, you asshole.

What do you do?”

“You are an intellectual fraud, just like your Messiah.

Obama has singlehandedly turned our once great society into a Ghetto Culture, rivaling that of Europe. France is almost at war because of his filthy rodent Muslims who are attacking Native Frenchmen and women.”

“I just looked at your picture and what you do for a living. I’m signing off now. I don’t talk to you people.”

Nobody was safe — not the black president and his black attorney general, who she said want to hand over the country to their fellow blacks and Muslims, not Lively, the “fagoot” hair stylist who started the thread, not anyone else who posted on the thread — all of whom she deemed her intellectual inferiors.

As it turns out, she apparently wasn’t lying about working at a university, or about being a Tallahassee resident with a Ph.D., as she boasted elsewhere on the thread. Since 1995, a Deborah O’Connor has been an instructor at Florida State University, where she teaches business communication (her doctorate is in English), according to her résumé.

On ratemyprofessor.com, her students describe her as “sassy” and “entertaining,” “weird and smart but a sour apple,” “quirky” and “energetic.” She’s also an advisor for a fraternity, and heads a student group called Students Supporting Our Troops.

All of that ended Saturday.

“She attacked Muslims, gays, President Obama for his race,” says Lively, who is white, gay and owns a business called Lively En Mode. “I was fine with her calling people idiots and all that stuff. What was not fine

was when she said she teaches in an open university and is a white bigot. What this country does not need is one more white bigot who is in control of young people’s minds, especially one affiliated with an already troubled Florida State University.” (The school has been plagued by controversy related to sexual assault allegations made against its star quarterback, Jameis Winston.)

Susie Sharp, a high-tech consultant from Cleveland who was also posting on that thread, sent an email on Friday to FSU officials expressing her concerns. (Lively affixed his name to her email as well.)

“It is unfathomable to me that Florida State University would condone or approve of ANY university staff behaving in this manner in private, much less in public,” Sharp wrote. “It is horrifying to me to think that this is the kind of person that FSU employs to instruct our youth. She hates black people.

She hates gay people. She hates Muslims. She hates people who are ‘underneath’ her and dismissed the poster as ‘I don’t speak to you people.’ She refers to people as ‘moron’ and ‘fagoot’ [sic]. ‘Filthy rodent Muslims’ is another charming moniker. Ms. O’Connor displays more of her people skills when she stated ‘I teach at a University, you asshole.’”

After Folio Weekly called FSU for comment — including President John Thrasher’s office — on Friday, some top FSU officials took O’Connor to task that night, according to sources. She resigned the next day. By Monday morning, her FSU webpage was scrubbed; a school media relations official could not provide exact details about her employment.

FSU officials acknowledged that they received Sharp’s email, but declined to say much more. “We can’t discuss personnel matters,” an FSU spokesperson, who refused to identify herself, told Folio Weekly on Monday, after the magazine requested O’Connor’s resignation letter, which should be public record.

But a College of Business employee didn’t get the memo, and confirmed that O’Connor submitted a written resignation on Saturday.

“Over the weekend we received a letter of resignation,” says Suzanne Barwick, the director of marketing and public relations at FSU’s College of Business. “You would have to talk to the General Counsel’s Office. They handle it.”

Carolyn Egan, FSU general counsel, did not return phone calls.

Messages left Friday on O’Connor’s university phone line were not returned. As of Friday afternoon, her Facebook page had been deleted.

“It is horrifying to me to think that this is the kind of person that FSU employs to instruct our youth. She hates black people. She hates gay people.

‘Filthy rodent Muslims’ is another charming moniker.”

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

Derek Kinner dkinner@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 11

S

eventy-two years later, Holly Keris, chief curator of the Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, received a letter about one of those paintings, Vanitas by Dutch Golden Age artist Jacques de Claeuw (1623-1694), which was now in her charge. The letter was from Goudstikker’s heirs. They wanted their painting back.

Vanitas is one of the museum’s oldest acquisitions, purchased only a year after the Cummer opened in 1961; it has been on near-constant display ever since.

The 337-year-old painting looks like little more than a pile of junk immortalized in oil on canvas. It depicts a mess of crumpled paper, forgotten playing cards and creased portraits. Flowers with stooped necks overlook the disarray.

To one side of the canvas, a painter’s palette slowly dries. On the other, an hourglass empties, grain by grain.

In many respects, Vanitas is a seemingly humdrum still-life. It’s not even one of a kind. De Claeuw spent much of his career producing paintings he called Vanitas — taken from the Latin word for “vanity,” a mortal sin — all depicting similar scenes of excess and decay. To him, these weren’t just paintings. They were moral statements, tributes to the fleeting nature of worldly possessions and the impermanence of life itself.

So it’s ironic, perhaps, that this painting now symbolizes a triumph over the amnesia of time.

In June, the Cummer announced an agreement with Goudstikker’s heirs that enabled the museum to keep Vanitas in its gallery, with the family’s blessing. That much made the local television news and the pages of the Times-Union.

But the story of Vanitas, of its theft and recovery, goes much deeper.

Vanitas marks one victory in an ongoing struggle for the Goudstikker heirs, and for Holocaust victims in general.

Between 1933 and 1945, the Third Reich stole upward of 20 percent of all European art in what’s believed to be the largest art theft in history. Unlike Vanitas, much of it has never been recovered, and may never be.

J What happened after TH E CUMMER learned one of its most treasured paint ings had been stolen by the Nazis, and the rightful owners wanted it back?

N

acques Goudstikker was no small-time collector. He was one of Europe’s most famous art dealers, a man whose reputation and taste were highly regarded the world over, even by the Nazis.

The prewar period was an opulent one for Goudstikker.

He set up a gallery overlooking the canal on Amsterdam’s chic Heerengracht Street, and he renovated a second space — the stately Nijenrode Castle, complete with moat and drawbridge — to exhibit more of his paintings.

In these galleries, Goudstikker displayed masterpieces spanning the centuries. Innovative paintings from the likes of Van Gogh hung on the same walls as oeuvres from Bruegel and Rubens.

It was at Nijenrode Castle in 1937 that Goudstikker met his second wife. He had hired the Viennese State Opera

o one knows exactly what happened that spring night in May 1940, as the S.S. Bodegraven floated farther and farther away from the Dutch port of IJmuiden.

Jacques Goudstikker climbed up to the deck to have a smoke, while his wife and infant son stayed below.

Across the water, the renowned art dealer’s onceglamorous life was vanishing into the darkness, a life of castles and parties, of Van Goghs and the Old Masters.

But the Nazis had come, and The Netherlands was no longer safe for a Jew. Some time in that dark night, Goudstikker slipped into an open deck hatch. He died at age 42, his neck fractured. And back in The Netherlands, his art collection — 1,400 pieces strong — would likewise be fractured, divvied up among Nazis and their supporters and later scattered around the globe.

Cummer chief curator Holly Keris hosts a free, in-depth look at Nazi art-looting and its impact on the museum at 7 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 13. For more information, visit cummermuseum.org.

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

Vanitas, by Dutch Golden Age artist Jacques de Claeuw (1623-1694)

Holly Keris, chief curator of The Cummer Museum to perform a benefit concert for Germany’s persecuted Jews, and star soprano Dési von Halban-Kurz was scheduled to appear. The singer and the art dealer caught each other’s eye.

They were married shortly thereafter, in 1938.

Decades later, Charlène von Saher and her sister would ride past Nijenrode Castle, the Heerengracht gallery and the Goudstikkers’ private home in Ouderkerk. It was a yearly ritual they shared with their grandmother Dési. For two weeks every summer, the children would visit Holland, and each year, they’d stare out of a car window, catching glimpses of the past.

“Whenever we were there, we would drive around with her,” Von Saher told Folio Weekly in a recent telephone interview. “I always thought, ‘Why? Why is she not living in these gorgeous castles and villas? What happened?’ But when you’re a child, you don’t understand all the things that happened.”

There was little talk of the Nazis. Dési

Photo by Dennis Ho

had moved on with her life, but the subject remained very emotional for her. She had just a few years with her husband before he died aboard the Bodegraven.

Shortly after the family fled — and Goudstikker fell to his death — Hermann Göring, a top-ranking member of the Nazi Party, forced Goudstikker Gallery to “sell” its pieces for laughably low prices. Göring took 300 for his hunting castle. About 50 were given to Adolf Hitler. And Vanitas itself was snapped up by one of Göring’s henchmen, the German banker Alois Miedl.

Try as she might, Dési was never able to recover her husband’s art collection, even after the war, even after Hitler and Göring were dead.

But Dési chose not to emphasize the pain of these events to her granddaughters.

“We weren’t talking about the art and how everything was stolen,” Von Saher says. “We weren’t talking about that kind of stuff. She was

just telling us about how Jacques would have loved us and how great he was.”

Only when Von Saher, now 39, reached her teenage years did she start to understand what had happened to her grandfather and his life’s work. But it would ultimately be a journalist who would acquaint her with the full extent of the Goudstikker collection.

It was 1997, and the Von Saher family was reeling from the recent deaths of both Dési and her son Eduard, Von Saher’s father. “We were trying to get our lives back together,” Von Saher says, when the phone rang for her mother, Marei. The caller was Dutch journalist Pieter den Hollander.

“He basically said, ‘Do you know you might have a claim to your father-in-law’s art collection?’ And my mom was a little shocked.

We all were.”

This was the moment that would launch a legal odyssey, and the family’s mission to find Goudstikker’s stolen art.

H

ollander flew to Connecticut, where the Von Sahers had settled, to meet the family. “He asked if we had anything in the house that had once belonged to Jacques,” Von Saher recalls. “And we did. We had this one little painting.”

Dési had returned to Amsterdam in 1946, in an attempt to recover her late husband’s once-vast collection. She passed by the old Goudstikker Gallery, where an employee recognized her and handed her a bundle. It contained a small canvas, wrapped in a blanket.

“It was the one piece that was kept and survived the war,” Von Saher says.

The painting depicted two figures — a study of the same girl at different angles — but Von Saher and her sister had always seen themselves in its brushstrokes.

“It was something my grandfather had without knowing he was going to have two granddaughters,” Von Saher says. “It was always really sentimental to my grandmother, and then to our parents, and now to my sister and me.”

But that day, Von Saher saw something new as Hollander flipped the canvas over.

“He turned it around, and he said, ‘Look, this is your grandfather’s wax seal and his stickers,’” Von Saher says. Hollander explained that all Goudstikker paintings bear those seals, even to this day.

“At the time, I didn’t understand that,” Von Saher says. “I thought, ‘Well, if all these other paintings were stolen, and they all have the same verification on the back, why didn’t the Nazis take all that off ?’”

The Nazis were meticulous record-keepers, Von Saher would learn. They kept the seals as a mark of quality.

Goudstikker, as it turns out, was equally meticulous; the clues to the modern-day recovery efforts lay in the little black book he kept as he fled Holland. With 165 pages and a list of more than 1,200 works in his collection, Goudstikker’s book ultimately “became our key to the restitution,” Von Saher says.

The notebook’s descriptions could take the family only so far. They needed to know what the paintings actually looked like to find the missing pieces. So a team of researchers, hired by the Von Saher family, set out to match the descriptions to photographs of existing artwork.

It’s an arduous process, one that has taken many years and many experts.

Nancy Parke-Taylor works for the Torontobased Mondex Corporation, which specializes in restitution claims like those of the Von Sahers.

The legal bills for these sorts of claims, she says, can often total in the six figures, if not higher — and sometimes, the recovered artwork must

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13

be sold to cover the costs. Moderately valued paintings might never be reclaimed.

“Some people think that all Nazi-looted art is multimillion-dollar paintings and that sort of thing,” Parke-Taylor says. “That’s simply not the case. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who basically cannot do anything because it’s not only time-consuming but too costly.”

Then there’s the challenge of navigating different laws in different jurisdictions. While 44 countries have signed the Washington Principles, a set of guidelines for the return of Nazi-stolen art, the guidelines aren’t binding, and many states have developed wildly different rules.

Take New York and Switzerland. In the state of New York, it’s fairly straightforward: Stolen art belongs to the original owner and should be

14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

returned. But in Switzerland, the law makes an exception for “good faith” buyers who bought a piece without knowing its tarnished past. This has led to one Jewish heir protesting openly on Swiss streets, outside the museum where his family’s painting is being kept.

And the law can get even more complicated, depending on who has the art and who wants it back. In some cases, some museums are legally obligated to keep a piece of looted art in their collection, as part of their duty to protect the public interest. In others, there are multiple heirs, each with different wishes for the fate of the artwork.

In the case of the Von Sahers, there’s only one legal heir — Marei Von Saher, daughter-inlaw to Jacques and mother to Charlène — which simplifies matters. Still, locating the missing

Goudstikker paintings, and getting them back, hasn’t been easy.

Works from the Goudstikker collection have turned up in Israel, Austria, Germany and even Los Angeles’ Getty Museum. Some were more easily reclaimed than others. One museum in Dresden returned a painting in a matter of days.

Other claims have gone to court.

In 2006, after years of legal proceedings, the Dutch government was forced to give back 200 paintings to the Von Sahers. And the family continues to fight for another pair of paintings — worth an estimated $28.3 million — currently owned by a California museum.

Despite all the years and all the effort, only about 250 Goudstikker paintings have been reclaimed. “Ms. Von Saher is still seeking to recover hundreds of paintings. And that’s

one claimant,” says Frank Lord, one of Von Saher’s lawyers.

M

any museums, including the Cummer, are creating avenues for Holocaust survivors to reconnect with their stolen valuables.

In 2003, the Cummer made a list of its pieces with unclear origins and submitted it to the Nazi-Era Provenance Internet Portal, an online database that helps connect survivors and their heirs with lost artwork.

Keris, the curator, says she wasn’t surprised to learn there were Nazi-looted works in the Cummer’s collection. In fact, Vanitas wasn’t even the first case.

In 2010, the heirs of a prominent German banker, Gustav von Klemperer, identified a delicate teapot and coffeepot from a Cummer porcelain catalogue from the 1980s. Keris and the museum board returned the pots to von Klemperer’s heirs.

“As much as you don’t like to say it, I don’t find it surprising in the least that there are pieces that have been at the Cummer, at the Met, at the Getty, at the MFA Boston, that are sitting there and are waiting for people to find them,” Keris says. “It’s not shocking in the least. In fact, I think it is gratifying when pieces can be returned to the people who lost them.”

So when 2012 rolled around, and a new claim came in, Keris knew what to do. First came the letter from the Von Saher family’s lawyer, identifying Vanitas as one of Goudstikker’s pieces.

In its pages, the letter revealed a history far more complex than anyone at the Cummer ever realized. “We knew [Vanitas] had been part of an auction in the 1940s, but that it didn’t sell,” Keris says. “That was really the extent of the known history of the painting.” No one knew it had passed through the hands of the infamous Göring.

The Cummer had to verify the claim and gather its Board of Trustees for meetings — both time-consuming processes. However, the conclusion was the same as before: The artwork should be returned to its rightful owners.

There was one hitch: Vanitas was a sentimental favorite of the Cummer. For the Cummer’s 50th anniversary, the painting had been voted among the public’s 50 favorite pieces. No one wanted to see a piece that had been with the museum so long leave its walls.

“The Cummer’s collection is a little bit shy of 5,000 pieces, and so it’s a nice-sized collection, but certainly still very modest,” Keris says. “We did not have another Dutch Master’s still-life like Vanitas hanging out in storage, waiting to take its place on the walls. It really is a very unique piece here.”

Instead they struck a deal. If the Von Sahers intended to sell the painting, the Cummer wanted first dibs. And with a financial gift from the Von Saher family, the Cummer bought the painting back.

Now, Keris plans to share her experiences of dealing with Nazi-looted art with the public.

She’ll give a free public lecture on Tuesday, Jan. 13, plus a couple of educational discussions as part of the “Talks & Tea” lecture series at the Cummer.

All the while, Vanitas remains right where it’s been for more than a half-century, in the Cummer’s shaded galleries. Funnily enough, the whole restitution process has been rather anticlimactic. Researchers have examined it, lawyers have fussed over it, the media has swarmed to it — but Vanitas has stayed put. It’s been on continuous display this whole time.

Only now, it’s not alone. Next to its name tag is a new plaque, one devoted to keeping the memory of Jacques Goudstikker alive. It’s an old painting, imbued with new meaning. mail@folioweekly.com

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15

Our Picks Reasons to leave the house this week

TAPPIN’ THAT BRASS TUBA CHRISTMAS

This holiday season, yuletide delights of melodious joy, hurled into the heavens by the brass blunderbusses of a veritable army of tubists, again grace our land! Lovers of seasonal music and straight-up brassophiliacs will race to the 20th annual Tuba Christmas concert featuring more than 150 (criminy!) tuba players of all ages performing rousing, low-end-heavy renditions of favorite holiday classics.

2 p.m. Dec. 13 at The Jacksonville Landing, Downtown, free, jacksonvillelanding.com.

PROG METAL XMAS TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA

Since 1996, progressive rock juggernaut Trans-Siberian Orchestra has been wowing crowds with its rockin’ onslaught of shredding metal guitar, electric violins, soaring vocals and over-the-top, synchronized multimedia production. Heavy on the orchestral tip, TSO is known for its grand holiday-themed productions.

The current Christmas Attic tour coincides with the re-release of the concept album of the same name, about a young girl’s magical adventures during the holidays. 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11 at Veterans Memorial Arena, Downtown, $29-$58.75, jaxevents.com.

COMEDY BRIAN POSEHN

Alt-comedy fave Brian Posehn first came to prominence as a cast member of the hilariously subversive ’90s HBO sketch comedy series Mr. Show. Since then, the Cali native has been in demand as an onscreen actor and for voiceover work for animated films and video games, and appeared in The Devil’s Rejects and small-screen shows like Mission Hill and The Sarah Silverman Program. Onstage, this self-professed, proud nerd riffs on everything from weed and metal to farts and fatherhood, with a delivery that swings from beaten down to pissed off. 8 and 10:30 p.m.

Dec. 13 at Underbelly, Downtown, $20 for each performance, underbellylive.com.

20 X 20 PECHA KUCHA

Pecha Kucha (or chit-chat) is a unique event at which presenters show 20 images for 20 seconds (or 6 minutes and 40 seconds total), while sharing their thoughts and ideas on the things that inspire them. First held in Tokyo in 2003, Pecha Kucha events are now in more than 700 cities worldwide, and attract creative types, academics and regular folks who just have a story to tell. The topic of the upcoming free St. Augustine Pecha Kucha is “bliss.” 6 p.m.

Dec. 17 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., staugamphitheatre.com.

BLUES POWER JOE BONAMASSA

Joe Bonamassa has traveled the long road from child prodigy to seasoned pro on the strength of his killer skills and savvy understanding of traditional blues and slammin’ blues rock. At the age of 12, Bonamassa was opening for B.B. King; since then, the now-37-year-old Grammy nominee has released more than 20 well-received albums and played with such fellow blues and rock heavyweights Buddy Guy, Eric Clapton and Stevie Winwood. In this local performance, Bonamassa delivers a strippeddown acoustic set, as well as a full-on electric dazzle. 8 p.m. Dec. 17 at The Florida Theatre, Downtown, $82.50-$128.50, floridatheatre.com.

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

ART BFA PORTFOLIO SHOW AT CEAM

Local art fans must see the next wave of contemporary visual artists at Flagler College’s BFA Portfolio Show at the school’s Crisp-Ellert Art Museum. The collection showcases works in a wide range of media by BFA candidates and graduates including Kasha Fahy, Mahaly Grant, Andrea Heideman, Andrew Hollingsworth, Emily Lowell, Kevin Mahoney, Aly Schaper, Kaitlin Barth, Michelle Behling, Bianca Borghi, Kat Carlton, Anthony Cerino, Katie Evans, Brenda McClary, Sara Pulsifer, Joshua Slinski, Kelsey Spann (pictured, Untitled-from series 4 ) and Zachary Wade. 5-9 p.m. Dec. 11 (artists’ talk at 4 p.m.); 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Dec. 12 and 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Dec. 13 at 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530.

Celebrate at the Comedy Zone Dinner & Show Celebration Crab Leg Buffet Comedy Show DJ & Dancing

Party Favors Champagne Toast

Comedy Zone Blast Off Comedy Show DJ & Dancing

Party Favors Champagne Toast

$69

per person plus tax

$39

per person plus tax

The Comedy Zone is located inside the Ramada Conference Center Mandarin 3130 Hartley Rd. Jacksonville FL 32257 | 904.292.4242 | ComedyZone.com

This month at Frankie Paul & J Bliss December 10-20 Come laugh with two of the funniest comedians around!

Receive 50% off Wednesday and Thursday performances by using promo code: HALF.

Go to ComedyZone.com or call 904-292-4242 Located in the Ramada Mandarin I-295 and San Jose Blvd

/comedyzonejax /comedyzonejax DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17

A&E // MUSIC

RIGHT AS RAIN

Allen Toussaint’s steady 50-year climb to a critical, commercial and creative peak

I

n his hometown of New Orleans, Allen Toussaint is straight-up royalty. Nationally, he’s the Crescent City’s finest ambassador.

And internationally, the mild-mannered, impeccably dressed 76-year-old is a reliable live draw, solid producer, and hardworking songwriter always able to deliver a hit.

Such far-ranging success didn’t happen overnight; it grew slowly for Toussaint. His solo career didn’t take off until the 1970s, almost 20 years after he’d made music a full-time occupation. And he didn’t even tour consistently until after Hurricane Katrina, in 2005.

Toussaint spent his childhood teaching himself the strident New Orleans-style of piano playing made famous by Professor Longhair. In the ’50s, he learned the music industry ropes sitting in with legendary bands of the era and recording for RCA Records. And in the ’60s, Toussaint perfected a Protestant work ethic that he still maintains to this day.

His first big break came in 1957, filling in for Huey “Piano” Smith on the cross-country tour for Shirley & Lee’s hit “Let the Good Times Roll.” But Toussaint quickly realized that the gigging life wasn’t all roses and teacups, so when Dave Bartholomew asked him to sub for Fats Domino in a studio session, the young Toussaint (who early on had worked under his mother’s maiden name of Neville because of the cachet it carried in New Orleans) discovered his true comfort zone.

“Bartholomew was especially instrumental in my development,” Toussaint tells Folio Weekly. “I respected him and the other New Orleans artists of the time highly. And I found that arranging, writing and producing in the studio with artists I loved made me feel more at home, both physically and spiritually, than anywhere else on the planet.”

So Toussaint went on a tear in the 1960s, churning out a string of unparalleled R&B hits: “Ruler of My Heart,” first recorded by Irma Thomas, then Otis Redding, then The Rolling Stones. “Java,” which became a charttopper for Al Hirt in 1964. “Mother-in-Law,” now a cult classic for New Orleans icon Ernie K-Doe. “Fortune Teller,” first covered by Benny Spellman before The Stones, The Who,

18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

The Hollies and Alison Krauss picked it up.

“I Like It Like That” for Chris Kenner. “A Certain Girl,” which served as the B-side to The Yardbirds’ debut 1964 single. “Get Out of My Life Woman,” adapted by Iron Butterfly, The Doors and the Grateful Dead. “Whipped Cream,” written in 1963 while Toussaint served in the Army before Herb Alpert recorded it note for note in 1964 — and turned it into the theme song for the TV hit The Dating Game, which ran from ’65-’86.

All of these songs are TV and movie staples, generating a steady stream of revenue, but even that doesn’t fully demonstrate Toussaint’s golden touch. He helped The Pointer Sisters and Patti LaBelle kick off their careers. His early studio band eventually morphed into funk legends The Meters. He arranged pianos and horns for Dr. John and

ALLEN TOUSSAINT

8 p.m. Dec. 13 at The Ritz Theatre & Museum, Downtown, $44, ritzjacksonville.com The Band. He produced albums for Robert Palmer, Paul McCartney and Little Feat. Yet he also remained committed to cultivating New Orleans talent like Irma Thomas, K-Doe, Spellman, Lee Dorsey and Aaron Neville, along with other underground funk and soul artists (including several tribes of Mardi Gras Indians) whose one-off 45s, recorded in Toussaint’s Sea-Saint Studio, are now treasured by record collectors. “The music community here has always been in fine shape,” Toussaint says in typical understated fashion.

In 1977, country music star Glen Campbell took Toussaint’s 1975 song “Southern Nights” to the top of the pop charts, and by the ’80s and ’90s, his harder-hitting funk work was sampled by KRS-One, Outkast and Ol’ Dirty Bastard. But Toussaint himself kept a relatively low profile, releasing lush, contemplative solo albums that skewed adult contemporary, all the while constantly writing, arranging and producing for other artists.

That quiet life ended on Aug. 29, 2005,

when Hurricane Katrina destroyed Toussaint’s house and recording studio, along with much of New Orleans. Instead of settling temporarily in Baton Rouge or Houston, Toussaint spent two years in New York City, where he lit an ambitious fire under his own ass. He appeared on Late Show with David Letterman, took up regular residency at Joe’s Pub, and collaborated with Elvis Costello. Most important, he cast aside his lifelong aversion to touring to spread the gospel of New Orleans music — he even jokingly calls Katrina his best booking agent.

“When I first started traveling on a consistent basis after Katrina, I was really reluctant about how my presence could make a good show,” Toussaint says. “But I got more comfortable, and I dearly appreciated the fact there was a segment of me that could rise to the occasion. Since then, touring has been quite gratifying.”

Perhaps the most gratifying moment came earlier this fall, when Toussaint spent a month touring the country with Preservation Hall Jazz Band, often hailed as the keeper of New Orleans’ trad-jazz flame. “It was quite an extensive tour, but it was quite a pleasure, too,” Toussaint says. Highlighting the fact that he’s more comfortable than ever in his own skin, Toussaint says he can’t wait for his Dec. 13 one-off at The Ritz Theatre & Museum in Jacksonville, either.

“It’ll be a trio, but I’ll be leading the whole show myself,” he says. “I’m looking forward to doing much more of my own material.”

And even with his 77th birthday looming on Jan. 14, that material is not drying up. He recently finished the tunes for a musical about Louis Armstrong’s childhood in the city, and in 2015, he’ll record another album with Joe Henry, who produced Toussaint’s landmark 2009 set The Bright Mississippi. The songs?

Mostly written on electric piano in hotel rooms while on tour, a process Toussaint says he’s embraced over the last decade.

“I love being busy,” Toussaint says. “I wake up in a hurry to get to the music. It feels right as rain.”

Nick McGregor mail@folioweekly.com

A&E // MUSIC

HONKY TONK WOMAN

Alt-country songstress combines an outlaw sensibility with confessional lyrics and kick-ass country music

N

grew up country as shit.” ikki Lane is waking up to a typical day Whether or not Lane is an outlaw, she does for a very select population — touring have a salt-of-the-earth honesty in her lyrics musicians. Despite constant stories that and delivery that counts for something. That label her as a new country outlaw, she is very same candor is evident in her no-nonsense polite and seems like she’s in a good mood. approach to the music biz, an attitude that She is crammed in a van, toggling back and Lane believes leaves her labeled as a defiant forth between air conditioning settings to artist. “As much as I have a big heart and I try to suit everyone’s needs. Her merch was share and I am thoughtful, I have a really bad shipped to the wrong city, and a batch of copies temper and a really blunt approach to dealing of her breakthrough new album, All Or Nothing, with this business,” she says. “There are a lot of was sent somewhere entirely else. Lane is riding things in this business that we are told to just high on All Or Nothing, a collection of songs take. We got kicked out of a radio station in about heartache, drinking, divorce and gettin’ Baltimore because some guy was yanking our some strange, inspired by what used to be chain for two hours after we drove 12 hours to called Country & Western. Produced by Black be on his radio show. Do I look like the bitch?

Key’s wunder-everything Dan Auerbach, All Yeah, but I was raised by Or Nothing showcases Lane’s a single mom and am the well-balanced twang and daughter of an asphalt smooth delivery, as well NIKKI LANE with layer — I wasn’t raised to as some excellent backing TRAMPLED BY TURTLES 8 p.m. Dec. 12 at Ponte Vedra sit there and take that.” work by artists such as Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., That demand for The McCrary Sisters and 209-0367, advance tickets $22; respect and recognition guitarist Kenny Vaughan. All $25 day of show sprinkle the themes of her Or Nothing is a start-to-stop latest release. The classic steel-pedal ride down Music country motifs are there — City memory lane, and it failed romance, men behaving badly, whiskey has taken Lane from Conan O’Brien’s show — but Lane also takes it a step further and to the pages of Rolling Stone to shows with goes on the offensive, being very tongue-inLoretta Lynn and the great Wanda Jackson cheek on “Good Man” and singing about oneto the backseat of the van she is currently in, night stands on “Sleep With A Stranger.” heading out to Joshua Tree, California, for a “I think if people are honest with day of inspiration. Her star is rising, and the themselves they go through many emotions, time in the van is paying off. just at different points in their life,” she says.

“I can definitely feel the trajectory,” says Lane admits to the autobiographical tone Lane. “We have been hammering at it every in her work, and acknowledges that she is day, and it feels like, the attention we have more comfortable with it than she used to be. gotten in the past six months, it’s happened “I think it’s hard for people to admit who pretty quickly. I feel legitimized. If you had they are sometimes,” she says. “I wrote ‘Good asked me in the past what I did, I would’ve Man’ when I was with a guy that I didn’t said I am a bartender, or I ran stores, but now think was treating me very well. And then, this is what I do, this is my job.” after I divorced that guy, I wrote ‘Sleep with a Work must be good then, because there Stranger,’ about being back on the market and are no shortages of stories in the press calling enjoying myself for a minute. Both of those Lane the equivalent of country’s new bad girl, responses were to things happening in my life, a rambling outlaw. This is an easy moniker just at different times, and I think that is true to throw around, and it doesn’t mean much of a lot of people. Unfortunately the character without anything to back it up; but Lane does in the song is always me, and I am not able to have the legit cred to call herself true country.

“I learned how to build my own dirt tracks hide what happens to me.” with my daddy’s bulldozer, and I used to drive Danny Kelly up to the store to get beers on it,” she says. “I mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 19

A&E // MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK

SARAH MAC BAND 7:30 p.m. Dec. 10 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008.

WHITE MYSTERY, THE RIVERNECKS, SCAVUZZOS 9 p.m. Dec. 10 at Shanghai Nobby’s, 10 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 547-2188, $6.

SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. Dec. 10 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247.

CALE DODDS 6 p.m. Dec. 11 at Mavericks at the Landing, 2 Independent Drive, Downtown, 356-1110.

PIERCE PETTIS 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11, Mudville Music Room.

CONSIDER THE SOURCE 8 p.m. Dec. 11 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 Ocean St., Downtown, $10.

TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA Performs rock opera The Christmas Attic 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $29$58.75, 630-3900, jaxevents.com.

RED BEARD & STINKY E 9 p.m. Dec. 11 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680.

DARREL RAE 7 p.m. Dec. 12 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555.

20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

ME AND THE TRINITY, I AM THE WITNESS, BEWARE THE NEVERENDING, NEVERENDER, AT HEART 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12 at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Westside, 388-7807, $8-$10.

FIREHOUSE 6 p.m. Dec. 12, Mavericks at the Landing, $10.73-$20.

Society for the Prevention of Suicide Benefit Concert: SINCLAIR, JULIE DURDEN 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12, Mudville Music Room, $25.

TRAMPLED BY TURTLES, NIKKI LANE 8 p.m. Dec. 12 at Ponte Vedra Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., 209-0399, $20-$23.

Drum and Muthaphuk ’N Bass 3: TOY CRUSHER, IMBRUE/ILLTERROR, DJROKNBOK, 2 JUNGLISTS, WYDE OPEN, TOO FAT JAYS, VESS THE ORACLE, JOHN MAGNETIX, MREKSHUN 8 p.m. Dec. 12, 1904 Music Hall, $5 before 10 p.m.; $10 after 10 p.m.

J-LIVE, WILLIE EVANS JR., STEAM MECHANICS, N/D 20/20 9 p.m. Dec. 12 at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, 379-4969, $8.

WE THE KINGS, JENNI REID 8 p.m. Dec. 12 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $20.

100 WATT VIPERS, SUNPILOTS, HIGHER GROUND 8 p.m. Dec. 12 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $8.

BLACK VIOLIN 8 p.m. Dec. 12 at Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555, $34.

J-LIVE 9 p.m. Dec. 12 at rain dogs., 379-4969.

TATSUYA NAKATANI 9 p.m. Dec. 12 at CoRK Arts District, 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside, corkartsdistrict.tumblr.com.

HERD OF WATTS 10 p.m. Dec. 12 & 13, Flying Iguana.

AUSTIN PARK 10 p.m. Dec. 12 & 13 at Lynch’s Irish Pub, 514 First St. N., Jax Beach, 249-5181.

CATHEDRAL ARTS PROJECT, JACKSONVILLE HARMONY CHORUS, PINE FOREST SCHOOL of the ARTS, STUDIO K DANCE, GUDGUD Dec. 13, Riverside Arts Market DIERKS BENTLEY, THOMAS RHETT 4 p.m. Dec. 13 at Glynn County Football Stadium, Fourth St., Brunswick, $74.85$124.75, stubhub.com.

SAMUEL SANDERS DUO 7 p.m. Dec. 13 at Latitude 360.

Santa Jam 4 Toy Drive: 100 WATT VIPERS, PRIDELESS, KNOCK FOR SIX, ALL IN 7 p.m. Dec. 13, Jack Rabbits, $10.

LARRY MANGUM, ELLEN BUKSTEL, JACK MENTZEL 7:30 p.m. Dec. 13, Mudville Music Room.

ALLEN TOUSSAINT 8 p.m. Dec. 13, Ritz Theatre & Museum, $44.

THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES, SENTIMENTAL PHIL, JOSEPH SHUCK 8 p.m. Dec. 13, rain dogs.

MERCYGIRL 8 p.m. Dec. 13, Murray Hill Theatre, $8-$12.

Holiday Cheer Festival: Dec. 13: ZULU WAVE, STRANGE

LORDS, TAMBOR, BURL, THE WEIGHTED HANDS, DREDGER, GHOST TROPIC, BEST OF SYNTHIA, JEREMY ROGERS, MENTAL BOY, HANNAH KLAUS, BETTERMENT. Dec. 14: ARS PHOENIX, AUTARX, GENRE BAPTISTE, EARLY DISCLAIMERS, SEVERED+SAID, IRONING, SUPER FAMICOM, DJ DAS TOY, COLD WASTE, VERANEAR, RAIN SYMBOLS Both shows 5 p.m. Shanghai Nobby’s, $8; $12 for both days.

WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, FLAG ON FIRE, ASKMEIFICARE, FFJB MUSIC TEAM 9 p.m. Dec. 13 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown, 353-6067, $10.

FULL BODY TONES, MADHAUS, STRONG GUYS, RUNNING RAMPANT 8 p.m. Dec. 14, Jack Rabbits, $8.

WYNONNA & THE BIG NOISE 8 p.m. Dec. 14 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $35-$65, 355-2787.

INDIAN SHORES, ART CONTEST, SINGLE WHITE HERPE 8:30 p.m. Dec. 14, Burro Bar. PAPERCUTT 6 p.m. Dec. 16 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367.

RECLUSE ON THE LOOSE, UNIVERSAL GREEN 6 p.m. Dec. 17 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $7 after 9 p.m.

Bad Santa Show: GRANT PEEPLES 7:30 p.m. Dec. 17, Mudville Music Room.

GUNTHER DOG, CONCORD AMERICA 8 p.m. Dec. 17, Shanghai Nobby’s.

JOE BONAMASSA 8 p.m. Dec. 17, The Florida Theatre, $82.50-$102.50.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

JOSH GRACIN Dec. 18, Mavericks at the Landing BOWZER & THE STINGRAYS, HERMAN’S HERMITS & PETER NOONE, GARY PUCKETT & THE UNION GAP Dec. 18, The Florida Theatre BAHAMADIA, DUDLEY PERKINS, GEORGIA ANN MULDROW, KANKICK, THE I GIVE, TOUGH JUNKIE Dec. 18, rain dogs.

ASTRONAUTALIS, YONI WOLF, BLUEBIRD Dec. 18, Jack Rabbits TRACE ADKINS Dec. 19, The Florida Theatre CHRIS BROWN, SEVYN STREETER Dec. 19, Veterans Memorial Arena WOLF FACE Dec. 19, Shanghai Nobby’s BLACK CAT BONES Dec. 19, Flying Iguana BRANCH & DEAN Dec. 20, Mavericks at the Landing STRANGLED DARLINGS Dec. 20, Burro Bar RUBY BEACH, SPIRAL BOUND, JORDYN STODDARD Dec. 20, Riverside Arts Market BOBBY LEE RODGERS Dec. 20, Freebird Live GINORMOUS J Dec. 20, Flying Iguana A Swamp Radio Christmas: FOUR FAMILIES, SAM PACETTI, LEELYNN OSBORN Dec. 21, The Florida Theatre SAVING ABEL Dec. 21, Underbelly A Swamp Radio Christmas: SAM PACETTI, TARRA CONNER JONES Dec. 23, Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium DJ ICEY, BABY ANNE Dec. 25, Eclipse Nightclub “3” Dec. 26, Flying Iguana INSPECTION 12 Dec. 27, Freebird Live RYAN CRARY, JOHNNY FLOOD Dec. 27, Flying Iguana PIXELATED Dec. 27, Underbelly DIGGY SIMMONS Dec. 27, Times-Union Center GROSS EVOLUTION Dec. 27, Across the Street FORSAKEN PROFITS, ROTTEN STITCHES Dec. 30, Burro Bar THE CORBITT BROTHERS BAND, GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE Dec. 31, Freebird Live STACEY Q. Dec. 31, Hamburger Mary’s DARYL HANCE, BRENT BYRD & THE SUITCASE GYPSIES Jan. 3, Underbelly DON WILLIAMS Jan. 7, The Florida Theatre ’70s Soul Jam: THE SPINNERS, THE STYLISTICS, THE MAIN INGREDIENT Jan. 8, The Florida Theatre FRED EAGLESMITH Jan. 9, Café Eleven Winter Jam: SKILLET, JEREMY CAMP, FRANCESCA BATTISTELLI, BUILDING 429, FOR KING & COUNTRY, NEWSONG, FAMILY FORCE 5, TONY NOLAN, BLANCA, ABOUT A MILE, VERIDIA Jan. 9, Veterans Memorial Arena MISERY HEAD, CRASHMIR, THE EMBRACED Jan. 10, Freebird Live

A&E // MUSIC

The Society for the Prevention of Suicide Benefit Concert features performances by SINCLAIR (pictured) and JULIE DURDEN at Mudville Music Room on Dec. 12.

ASKMEIFICARE Jan. 10, Jack Rabbits DOUG E. FRESH Jan. 10, The Ritz Theatre LUCINDA WILLIAMS & HER BAND Jan. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PENNYWISE, ANTI-FLAG, A WILHELM SCREAM Jan. 13, Freebird Live MIRANDA SINGS Jan. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TIM EASTON, HEATHER PIERSON Jan. 14, Mudville Music Room LETTUCE Jan. 15, Mavericks J.W. TELLER Jan. 16, Burro Bar MARTYPARTY Jan. 16, Freebird Live TEDESCHI TRUCKS BAND Jan. 16, The Florida Theatre THE BOTH (AIMEE MANN, TED LEO), LAURA JANE GRACE Jan. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall QWEL, TOUGH JUNKIE, LETHAL SKRITPTUREZ, COS McCOUNCIOUS Jan. 16, rain dogs.

CASE Jan. 16, Ritz Theatre SANDY HACKETT’S RAT PACK SHOW Jan. 16, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater MONROE CROSSING Jan. 16, Mudville Music Room DIANE SCHUUR Jan. 17, Ritz Theatre HARDIN & BURNS Jan. 17, Mudville Music Room THE GLENN MILLER ORCHESTRA Jan. 18, FSCJ Wilson Center OF MONTREAL, NEDELLE TORRISI Jan. 19, Freebird Live SHOVELS & ROPE, CAROLINE ROSE Jan. 20, P.V. Concert Hall KRIS ALLEN Jan. 21, Jack Rabbits GAELIC STORM Jan 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GREENSKY BLUEGRASS Jan. 21, Freebird Live KATHLEEN MADIGAN Jan. 22, The Florida Theatre BILL GAITHER & FRIENDS Jan. 23, Veterans Memorial Arena IRIS DEMENT Jan. 23, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NOTHIN’ FANCY Jan. 24, Mudville Music Room LINCOLN DURHAM Jan. 24, Jack Rabbits CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER, MIKE EPPS, EDDIE GRIFFIN, D.L. HUGHLEY, GEORGE LOPEZ, CHARLIE MURPHY Jan. 24, Veterans Memorial Arena MERLE HAGGARD Jan. 25, The Florida Theatre EARPHUNK Jan. 27, Freebird Live CRUEL HAND, FRAMEWORKS Jan. 27, Burro Bar LEON RUSSELL Jan. 28, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ARLO GUTHRIE Jan. 29, The Florida Theatre

GALACTIC Jan. 29, Freebird Live DAVID WILCOX Jan. 29, Café Eleven URSAMINOR, SURVIVING SEPTEMBER, THE HEALING PROCESS, NOCTURNAL STATE OF MIND Jan. 31, Freebird Live JACKSONVEGAS, MASTER RADICAL Jan. 31, Underbelly GLEN HANSARD Feb. 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall TRAVIS TRITT Feb. 6, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE PIANO GUYS Feb. 6, The Florida Theatre VINCE GILL & TIME JUMPERS Feb. 7, The Florida Theatre JOE CROOKSTON Feb. 7, Mudville Music Room SHOOTER JENNINGS Feb. 8, Mavericks INGRID MICHAELSON Feb. 10, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE WAILERS Feb. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JON SHAIN, RUPERT WATES Feb. 12, Mudville Music Room ANA POPVIC Feb. 12, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHERRY POPPIN’ DADDIES Salute the Music of The Rat

Pack Feb. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall HARRY CONNICK JR. Feb. 15, T-U Center SOJA, THE GREEN Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall JOHN HAMMOND Feb. 20, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARCUS ROBERTS TRIO Feb. 20, The Florida Theatre SOMMORE, TONY ROCK, GARY OWEN, HUGGY LOWDOWN Feb. 20, T-U Center DENNIS DeYOUNG & The Music of Styx Feb. 21, Florida Theatre LUCERO, RYAN BINGHAM Feb. 21, Freebird Live R.L. GRIME Feb. 22, Freebird Live JACKSON BROWNE Feb. 23, The Florida Theatre THE MIDTOWN MEN Feb. 26, The Florida Theatre THE DOOBIE BROTHERS, MARSHALL TUCKER BAND Feb. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BIG SANDY AND HIS FLY-RITE BOYS Feb. 27, Jack Rabbits ’68 Feb. 28, Underbelly STRINGFEVER March 5, Café Eleven Aura Music & Arts Festival: MOE, THE DISCO BISCUITS, PAPADOSIO, SNARKY PUPPY, THE MAIN SQUEEZE, PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG, McLOVINS, GHOST OWL March 6-8, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park MARTIN TAYLOR March 7, The Florida Theatre THREE DOG NIGHT March 10, The Florida Theatre JOURNEY, STEVE MILLER BAND, TOWER OF POWER March 12, Veterans Memorial Arena FULLSET March 12, Mudville Music Room ELVIS COSTELLO March 14, The Florida Theatre JOHN MELLENCAMP: PLAIN SPOKEN TOUR March 15, Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts Suwannee Spring Festival: THE WOOD BROTHERS, SHOVELS AND ROPE, INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS, KELLER WILLIAMS & THE TRAVELIN’ McCOURYS, BLIND BOYS OF ALABAMA, THE LARRY KEEL EXPERIENCE, DONNA THE BUFFALO, JIM LAUDERDALE, JOE CRAVEN and others March 19, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park CYRUS CHESTNUT March 20, Ritz Theatre THE B-52s March 21, The Florida Theatre MAVIS STAPLES March 21, Ritz Theatre JACKIE EVANCHE March 22, The Florida Theatre AGNOSTIC FRONT, COLDSIDE March 22, Burro Bar SARAH McLACHLAN March 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NICKELBACK March 25, Veterans Memorial Arena Slide into Spring Music & Craft Beer Festival: MATISYAHU, RAILROAD EARTH, THE WAILERS, TURKUAZ, THE SUPERVILLAINS, THE FRITZ, SPIRITUAL REZ, TRAE PIERCE & T-STONE BAND, CORBITT BROTHERS, POST PLUTO March 28-29, Main Beach, Fernandina Beach BRONX WANDERERS March 29, The Florida Theatre

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 21

A&E // MUSIC JANIS IAN, TOM PAXTON April 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE ORCHESTRA (Former ELO & ELO II members) April 11, The Florida Theatre WANEE MUSIC FESTIVAL April 16-18, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park THE WHO HITS 50! TOUR April 19, Veterans Memorial Arena RAIN April 24, The Florida Theatre WELCOME TO ROCKVILLE April 25 & 26, Metropolitan Park CHRIS BOTTI April 30, The Florida Theatre ZZ TOP, JEFF BECK May 9, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ED KOWALCZYK May 15, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall Florida Country Superfest: ZAC BROWN BAND, KENNY CHESNEY, KEITH URBAN, BRANTLEY GILBERT, COLE SWINDELL, TYLER FARR, DAVID NAIL, COLT FORD, DANIELLE BRADBERY, THE SWON BROTHERS June 13 & 14, EverBank Field

JOSEPH SHUCK (pictured) performs with THIS FRONTIER NEEDS HEROES and SENTIMENTAL PHIL at rain dogs. on Dec. 13.

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S RESTAURANT & LOUNGE, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith every Thur. Yancy Clegg every Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. HAMMERHEAD, 2045 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-7783 DJ Refresh 9 p.m. every Sun. PALACE SALOON, 117 Centre. St., 491-3332 Wes Cobb every Wed. Schnockered every Sun. Buck Smith every Tue. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 491-8999 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance 9 p.m. every Fri. Live music every Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200 Ryan Crary Dec. 11. Whetherman Dec. 12. Crusoe Dec. 13.

Live music every Thur.-Sat.

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Dec. 11 & 13. Reggae SWAT Team 3 p.m.

Dec. 14. Open mic every Wed. BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. Dec. 10 & 17. Open mic Wed. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Irish music 6:30 p.m. every Sun. DJ Hal every Sat. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Herd of Watts 10 p.m. Dec. 12 & 13. Black Cat Bones Dec. 19. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Red Beard & Stinky E 10 p.m. every Thur. Darren Corlew 8:30 p.m. every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 100 Watt Vipers, SunPilots, Higher Ground 8 p.m. Dec. 12. Worth Road, The Blank Canvas, Cati Patton, Edenfield Dec. 19. Live music every weekend.

GREEN ROOM BREWING, 228 Third St. N., 201-9283 DiCarlo Thompson 9 p.m. Dec. 12 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Acoustic Jukebox Dec. 12. Ernie & the Session Dec. 13. Live music every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Austin Park 10 p.m. Dec. 12 & 13. Dirty Pete every Wed. Split Tone

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Who Rescued Who every Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Dan Hunting Dec. 10. Ajeva Dec. 11. Ouija Brothers Dec. 12 MEZZA RESTAURANT & BAR, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon 6 p.m. every Tue. Gypsies Ginger 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer 6 p.m. Thur.

NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Cloud 9 Dec. 10. Catfish Rodeo Dec. 12. Mr. Natural Dec. 13. Brent Byrd Dec. 14. Live music every night NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Kurt Lanham Dec. 11. Billy Bowers 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12 OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Taylor Roberts Dec. 11. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Dan Evans Dec. 10. Permission Dec. 11. Str8 Up Dec. 12 & 13. Live music Thur.-Sun. ROYAL PALM VILLAGE WINE, 296 Royal Palms Dr., Atlantic Beach, 372-0052 This Frontier Needs Heroes 8 p.m. Dec. 11 WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 247-4508 Live music every Thur. and Fri. ZETA BREWING COMPANY, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Thur.-Mon.

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. Consider the Source 8 p.m. Dec. 11. Drum and Muthaphuk ’N Bass 3: Toy Crusher, Imbrue/Illterror, DJroknbok, 2 Junglists, Wyde Open, Too Fat Jays, Vess the Oracle, John Magnetix, Mrekshun 8 p.m. Dec. 12. Open mic jam every Mon. BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St., 353-4686 Whole Wheat Bread, Flag on Fire, Askmeificare, FFJB Music Team 9 p.m.

Dec. 13. Indian Shores, Art Contest, Single White Herpe Dec. 14. Downpresser, Take Offense Dec. 15 FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Jig to a Milestone 6-9 p.m. Dec. 10. Chris C4Mann 8 p.m. Dec. 12. Brett Foster Duo 8 p.m. Dec. 13. Spade McQuade 6-9 p.m. Dec. 17. Jig to a Milestone 8 p.m. Dec. 19. Live music every Fri. & Sat. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 Wind Ensemble, Atlantic Beach Elementary 11 a.m., Spanky the Band 6-10 p.m. Dec. 11. Fruit Cove Middle School 8th Grade Chorus, Biscayne Chorus/Step Team, Mayport Coastal Sciences Middle School Band, Crown Pt. Elementary Chorus, Dance Express Dancers, Church of Pentecost 11 a.m.-8:15 p.m., Rick Arcusa Band 9 p.m.

A&E // MUSIC Dec. 12. Callahan Dance Academy, Showtime USA, KIPP Impact Middle School, Scott Jones Dancers 5-8:15 p.m., Persona Non Grata 9 p.m.-1:30 a.m. Dec. 13. Atlantic Coast Dance, Juanita’s North Florida Stars, Live by Faith Praise Dancers, Marie’s Kids, Freddie L. McIntyre Legacy 1-8:15 p.m., George Aspinall Band 2 p.m. Dec. 14. Lake Asbury Elementary Chorus, Seacoast Singers, Joe & the Rockettes, Oceanway School of Dance 11 a.m.-8:15 p.m.

Dec. 15. Voices in Praise, Ritz Sound & Vocal Performers, Middleburg Elementary Jr. & Sr. Chorus, Dazzling Diamonds 12:30 p.m.-8:15 p.m. Dec. 16. Palm Avenue Performing Arts, North Shore Elementary Chorus, Sensational Singing Rams, Fletcher Dance Ensemble, Buddy Sherwood School of Dance, Garden Elementary Singer Bees & Bee-Line 11 a.m.-8:15 p.m. Dec. 17 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Cale Dodds 6 p.m. Dec. 11. FireHouse 6 p.m. Dec. 12. Josh Gracin Dec. 18. Branch & Dean Dec. 20. Joe Buck, Big Tasty every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Brian Posehn Dec. 13. Recluse on the Loose, Universal Dec. 17.

FLEMING ISLAND

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Whetherman Dec. 11. Crusoe Dec. 12. Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Last to Leave 9 p.m. Dec. 12. Pop Muzik Dec. 13. 13. DJ Throwback 8 p.m. every Thur. Deck music 5 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., 4:30 p.m. every Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, 645-5162 Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Big Rob every Thur., Sun. & Tue. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 Live music every Fri. & Sat. YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 RadioLove Dec. 11. King for a Day 10 p.m. Dec. 12

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Open mic: Synergy 8 p.m. every Wed. World’s Most Talented Waitstaff at 9 p.m. every Fri.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells, 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Blistur 10 p.m. Dec. 12 & 13. DJ Corey B every Wed. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY

PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Live music every Wed.-Sun. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., Ste. 208, 280-5515 Paxton & Mike 6 p.m. Dec. 10. Gary Starling Jazz Band Dec. 11. Wes Cobb Dec. 12. Live music Thur.-Sun.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Scott Elley 8:30 p.m. Dec. 10. Backwater Bible Salesman 9 p.m. Dec. 12 & 15 MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Me & the Trinity, I am the Witness, Beware the Neverending, At Heart 7:30 p.m. Dec. 12. Mercygirl 8 p.m.

Dec. 13 rain dogs., 1045 Park St., 379-4969 J-Live, Willie Evans

Jr., Steam Mechanics 9 p.m. Dec. 12. This Frontier Needs Heroes, Sentimental Phil, Joseph Shuck Dec. 13 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Cathedral Arts Project, Jacksonville Harmony Chorus, Pine Forest School of the Arts, Studio K Dance, Gudgud, Showtime USA starting at 10:30 a.m. on Dec. 13

ST. AUGUSTINE

THE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 Chillula 7 p.m. Dec. 12. The Robert Harris Group 7 p.m. Dec. 13. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. Dec. 14 HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. Dec. 10 MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19-1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Live music every night PIZZALLEY’S CHIANTI ROOM, 60 Charlotte St., 825-4100 Michael Howard 3 p.m. every Mon.-Fri. SHANGHAI NOBBY’S, 10 Anastasia Blvd., 547-2188 White Mystery, The Rivernecks, Scavuzzos 9 p.m. Dec. 10. Zulu Wave, Wray, Glories, Strange Lords, Tambor, Burl, The Weighted Hands, Dredger, Ghost Tropic Dec. 13. Ars Phoenix, Severed+Said, Ironing, Super Famicom, DJ Vas Toy, Cold Waste, Veranear, Rain Symbols Dec. 14. Gunther Dog, Concord America Dec. 17. Wolf Face Dec. 19 TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Those Guys 9 p.m. Dec. 12 & 13. Matanzas every Sun.-Thur. Elizabeth Roth 1 p.m. every Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013 Dance Radio Underground, Sugar & Cream, Black Hoodie, Bass Therapy Sessions 10 p.m., Allan GIz-Roc Oteyza, Scott Perry aka TrapNasty and Cry Havoc rotate, mid.-3 a.m. every Fever Saturday JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Motopony 8 p.m. Dec. 10. We the Kings, Jenni Reid 8 p.m.

Dec. 12. All In, 100 Watt Vibe, Prideless, Knock for Six Dec. 13. Full Body Tones, Madhaus, Strong Guys, Running Rampant 8 p.m. Dec. 14. Astronautalis, Yoni Wolf, Bluebird Dec. 18 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Sarah Mac Band 7:30 p.m. Dec. 10. Pierce Pettis 7:30 p.m. Dec. 11. Society for the Prevention of Suicide Benefit: Sinclair, Julie Durden Dec. 12. Jack Mentzel, Larry Mangum, Ellen Bukstel Dec. 13. Bad Santa, Grant Peeples Dec. 17

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

COMEDY CLUB, 11000 Beach Blvd., Ste. 8, 646-4277 Fascinating Rhythm Orchestra 7 p.m. every 1st & 3rd Wed. DANCIN DRAGON 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888 A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 VJ Tos Dec. 10. Be Easy Dec. 11. Darrel Rae 7 p.m. Dec. 12. Samuel Sanders Duo 7 p.m., Split Tone 8:30 p.m. Dec. 13 MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 997-1955 Whetherman Dec. 11. Crusoe Dec. 12. Live music every Thur.-Sat. MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows, 737-5299 Aaron Sheeks Dec. 10. Dirty Pete Dec. 11. Don’t Call Me Shirley Dec. 12. Karl & the Black Lungs Dec. 13. Live music every night WILD WING CAFÉ, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley 7:30 p.m. Dec. 10 WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Barrett 8 p.m. Dec. 11. Doplematic, Chillakaya 9 p.m. Dec. 12. DiCarlo Dec. 18. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HIGHWAY 17 ROADHOUSE, 850532 U.S. 17, Yulee, 225-9211 Live music most weekends THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 MauFeSha Production 8 p.m. Dec. 15. Mama Blue Dec. 16. Open mic every Thur.

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23

THE KNIFE

BLIGHT CHRISTMAS I t should come as no surprise that I am not a fan of the holidays, and I’ve been labeled a Scrooge (and worse) regarding my disdainful disposition. I once nearly crushed my young nephew’s soul by pointing out that the address to which he was sending his Christmas wish list was somewhere in rural Michigan. You can imagine the looks of scorn and ridicule I fielded as, at one holiday party, I loudly voiced my disapproval of the Common Use of Santa as a Behavior Modification Mechanism. Even as a teen, oh so many years ago, I manipulated the Christmas lights in my parents’ bushes into the shape of a giant question mark.

As I age, the nostalgia I had for my childhood and the wonderful Christmases my family provided fades, replaced by visions of obligatory kindness, rampant oftviolent consumerism, the incessant ringing of Salvation Army bells and Bill O’Reilly whining about his manufactured War on Christmas. To me, it all adds up to one nasty, month-long run of red-and-green-coated disingenuousness.

But in brief defense of the annual endof-year festivities, I will admit to enjoying the heck out of providing a fun and fantastic holiday for my 8-year-old daughter, who’s completely sold on the idea that her Elves on the Shelves are up to something, that Santa is preparing total awesomeness for the world’s children, and that the days leading up to Dec. 25 are centered on her complete and utter happiness. This I do with only a hint of reservation, as she and I have frankly discussed the “realness” of Santa Claus, and I have resigned myself to the idea that whether she really believes in Santa is not important.

The game of it — the fantasy, the togetherness, the notion that we can do something good for our family and friends and even strangers — trumps my desire to derail the Polar Express.

But for my fellow Scrooges (is that the proper plural?), I feel obligated to provide a musical alternative to the saccharine cacophony already flooding your satellite radio stations and grocery store aisles.

Something a little dark and a lot humorous for your Xmas playlist. So here are five holiday ditties guaranteed to amuse, vex and offend.

Ho Freakin’ Ho …

1. “Slick Nick, You Devil You” — Fishbone Included as part of Fishbone’s 1987 It’s a Wonderful Life EP, this holiday waltz bemoans the original Bad Santa, a belligerent fatass who steals reindeer, absconds with the TV, imbibes scotch and Jack Daniels, wrecks the Christmas tree, scratches his crotch and spray paints “a bad finger over the fireplace.” Over a simple backdrop of handclaps and organ 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

chords, Angelo Moore croons sorrowful in his inimitable funky way. Considering the crappy holiday the band is facing following a recent lawsuit by an audience member who claims Moore’s stage dive snapped her neck, this song seems, sadly, apropos.

2. “Here Comes Fatty Clause” — from A John Waters Christmas Here is a truly offensive Xmas melody, the signature line being, “Here comes fatty with a sack of shit, and all them stinkin’ reindeer.”

This one is Not Safe for Work, so if you YouTube it, put on headphones or, at the very least, turn the volume up and madly click your mouse while screaming, “I’VE BEEN SPAMMED BY JOHN WATERS!” Then update your résumé.

3. “Christmas with the Devil” — Spinal Tap What is Santa if not an anagram of Satan?

A fact capitalized upon by the mock-metal band Spinal Tap in this Sabbathy carol. I quote: “There’s someone up the chimneyhole, and Satan is his name.” For a band that celebrated paganism with its mandolin-y anthem “Stonehenge,” it only makes sense that they’d honor Christmas’ pagan roots with a song about ol’ Scratch, who’s often likened to Pan and his goat-like features. The only question is whether the tree will be so small the goats will trod upon it.

4. “Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo” — South Park’s Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics Though this intentionally offensive album is rife with intentionally offensive carols, “Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo” is a jovial number that sings of the true joy of pooping on Christmas. Though “The Most Offensive Song Ever” references the Virgin Mary remaining pure after fellating a host of men — and that certainly offers more offense for your holiday dollar — in my Xmas hymnal, “Mr. Hankey” takes top honors as a genuine Christmas carol, full of love, good cheer and … poo.

5. “Fuck Christmas” — Eric Idle The anti-consumerist ballad by Monty Python alum Eric Idle is an F-bomb-laden ditty that’s sure to ruffle the fleece of the entire Fox News staff (remember, kids, Santa is a honky). It seems waging war on Christmas is nothing new, and if anyone is equipped to lead the charge, Idle is the man.

Of course, there is no war, and there is no reason to be offended by any of these songs.

All in good holiday fun, right?

John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com

A&E // MOVIES

HOSTAGE SITUATION

Jon Stewart’s big-screen debut is an uneven but engaging telling of a real-life political kidnapping

T

the prison, so this part is understandable, iming is everything, and it just so happens albeit tedious. that kidnapped journalists in the Middle The problem, though, is that it puts pressure East have been all over the news recently. on Stewart to vary the pace of the editing and/ The truth is it’s been happening for years, so to or provide a production design with more color have a new release about a journalist captured and tortured in Iran is serendipitous indeed. The in order to imbue a sense of energy and life. fact that it’s a serious drama written and directed He does neither. As a result, Rosewater is dull and monotonous at times, with muted colors by comedian/political pundit Jon Stewart (The Daily Show) makes it all the more intriguing. and costumes (even Bahari’s wife, who’s not held captive and lives in the real world, wears The film chronicles the story of Maziar plain beige) doing little to provide a visually Bahari, who grew up in Tehran, Iran, and interesting look. in 1998 began working as a London-based journalist for Newsweek. It’s June 2009, and To their credit, Bernal and Stewart tell a harrowing story of survival and, working from Bahari (Gael García Bernal) leaves his pregnant the real Bahari’s book (Then wife, Paola (Claire Foy), behind They Came for Me: A Family’s to head to Tehran to visit his Story of Love, Captivity, and mother (Shohreh Aghdashloo) ROSEWATER Survival, co-written with and cover the election in which **G@ Aimee Molloy), appear to have the incumbent Mahmoud Rated R presented a truthful account Ahmadinejad is running of what it’s like to be a political against Mir-Hossein Mousavi. prisoner in Iran. Clearly Bahari After Ahmadinejad wins by was scared, and he reached a level where he controversial methods, Mousavi’s supporters would do or say anything to be set free. It seems protest, which Bahari films and then submits honest, which makes the drama feel more real. the street riot video footage to the BBC. Shortly After all, integrity and values aren’t so great thereafter, Bahari is arrested by Revolutionary when they’re causing incredible pain.

Guard police and interrogated by a “specialist” How much truth (versus artistic license) is in named Javadi (Kim Bodnia) who smells of Rosewater? It really doesn’t matter. The bottom rosewater, hence the film’s title. The charge?

Bahari is suspected of being a spy. For 118 days, line is, does the true story work as a film — not as a recollection of truth — and the answer is a he’s asked about his writing, his travels, his moderate “yes,” due to the acting and timeliness Facebook page and more. During this ordeal, of its subject matter. Let’s hope Stewart uses this he doesn’t know from one day to the next if his as a springboard to a directing career, and that life will be spared. next time, he does the biting social satire his The narrative structure is necessarily but Daily Show fans have grown to expect. All in all, unfortunately one-dimensional. Bahari is Rosewater is certainly a worthy debut from the psychologically (not physically) tormented by much-loved talk show host-pundit. the specialist, and envisions conversations with his dead dad and sister — rinse, repeat.

Dan Hudak The intention is to capture a sense of life inside mail@folioweekly.com DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25

A&E // MOVIES

EPIC FAIL

Ridley Scott’s latest trades quality filmmaking for spectacle and special effects

I

its below-ground scale; the opening battle t’s … big. Whatever else you might want to between Egyptian forces and the Hittites say about Ridley Scott’s Exodus: Gods and manages some effectively controlled wartime Kings, you can’t deny that it’s big. Big chaos. The landslide along a mountain path scale on the CGI-enhanced sets, big crowd that wipes out many of Rhamses’ troops feels scenes, big plagues, big acting — they’re all genuinely catastrophic, and the wave that here. Pull out your thesaurus and substitute returns the water to the parted Red Sea … every synonym for “big” you can find — vast, well, it’s big. Really, really big. immense, colossal, jumbo, etc. — and they What’s odd about Exodus: Gods and Kings will all apply. is that even as it’s pulling out all the stops Except for God. The Lord Jehovah is for visual grandeur, it’s trying desperately to represented in this movie as a child. But we’ll provide a humanized, naturalistic approach get to that. to the story’s mythological characters and Hollywood cinema in the early 21st supernatural events. The Nile runs with blood, century is a parade of attempts by movies this version is careful to explain, merely as to top the big-ness of the movie that came the result of a crocodile feeding frenzy gone before. Every superhero movie has its cityhaywire, and the flies come because, well, leveling apocalyptic battle; every blockbuster there’s all those dead fish and frogs, and needs its IMAX-sized set pieces; every literary thus the diseased livestock, and so forth. adaptation has its all-star cast. An industry Meanwhile, Rhamses alternates between desperately looking to get butts in seats keeps vaguely petulant jealousy turning to sheer enormity at the preference shown to as a way to counteract the his adopted brother Moses, universe of things people EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS and doting father to his can watch any time they **@@ infant son, with Edgerton want on small screens — Rated PG-13 seeming truly baffled as to and, just as it happened in how to play him. And Bale the 1950s, when Hollywood seems even more confused was battling the rise of television, that means turning to biblical epics. in his swings between nobleman, courtly wooer of his wife, Séfora (María Valverde), Here, Scott and his team of writers have and tormented de facto Hebrew leader who turned to the story of Moses (Christian somehow develops the accent of an old Bale) and Rhamses (Joel Edgerton), raised Brooklyn Jewish man in the film’s second half. as brothers in the palace of Egypt’s pharaoh, until Moses learns that he was actually born of The narrow line between prophet and lunatic walked by Russell Crowe in Noah looks all the the Hebrews who serve as Egypt’s slaves and more impressive by comparison. eventually becomes their leader in their fight But the uneasy mix of the majestic and for freedom. The new film also returns to the the mundane in Exodus seems the most grand tradition of cinema classics like The Ten uneasy in scenes where Moses communicates Commandments in its hilariously oblivious with a Yahweh who has taken the form of a casting decisions. Controversy has already preternaturally serene young boy. It’s here that swirled around the casting of Bale as Moses and the paucity of Middle-Eastern actors we’re supposed to get a sense of the meaning among the film’s “Egyptians,” but it’s also hard of “Israelite” clarified by Moses in an earlier to deny the high comedy of John Turturro as scene as “one who wrestles with God,” the pharaoh Seti, or Ben Mendelsohn going providing a sense of the Chosen People’s full leering effeminate as the corrupt Egyptian personal relationship with awesome power. viceroy Hegep.

Yet every time Exodus tries to shrink It’s even harder to deny that Scott — who anything down to a more human size and honed his period-epic chops on Gladiator and comprehension, it just feels silly. These Kingdom of Heaven — knows how to deliver filmmakers don’t seem to realize they’ve only spectacle, if spectacle is what you came for. really got awesomeness going for them. If they weren’t going to go all-in on going big, they The pyramid-and-statue-studded cityscapes might as well have gone home. of the Egyptian capital of Memphis are as impressive in their above-ground scale as Scott Renshaw the slave quarry at Pithom is impressive in mail@folioweekly.com

26 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

A&E // MOVIES del Castillo and Ron Perlman) bet on who will win. Driven by an original plot and played out with dazzling animation, this ups the game on fantasy filmmaking. — Daniel

TRUE FANTASY During my recent excursions through the looking-glass with the various cinematic versions of Alice in Wonderland, I was reminded of a marvelous 1985 film that dealt with the real-life inspiration for Alice and her adventures down the rabbit hole of memory. Written by Dennis Potter (The Singing Detective, Pennies from Heaven), Dreamchild focuses on Alice Liddell Hargreaves’s trip to America in 1932 at the invitation of Columbia University in celebration of the centennial of Lewis Carroll’s birth.

Accompanied by a young companion, Mrs. Hargreaves (Coral Browne) is initially at odds with the obsessive pedestrian queries of the American press in regard to her role as the 10-year-old muse of retiring mathematics tutor Charles Dodgson, aka Lewis Carroll (Ian Holm), who immortalized her in his equally immortal fantasy. Meanwhile, her young ward Lucy (Nicola Cowper) experiences her first love — the eager journalist Jack (Peter Gallagher).

Cutting back and forth from past to present, from reality to fantasy (courtesy of Jim Henson’s Creature Shop), Dreamchild is a tender, moving valentine to the real-life story behind the Alice books as well as a paean to the transforming power of imagination and love. Only near the end of her long life does Alice understand the unspoken, impossible love of her worshipful, stammering tutor for the girl she once was.

An affecting scene in Dreamchild occurs as Charles Dodgson prepares Alice for a photography session. An enthusiastic amateur of the new medium, Dodgson eventually started his own studio. Of the thousands of pictures he took over his career, a little more than 900 now survive, including many of the young Alice.

Photography plays a major role in another good period film about children, reality and fantasy. Fairy Tale: A True Story (1997) is about two girls who, in 1917, claimed to have taken photos of fairies near a brook by their garden.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Holmes and an avowed spiritualist, published an article swearing to the authenticity of the photos, in turn inspiring a rash of arguments pro and con. That is the factual basis of the film.

The rest of Fairy Tale is a wonderful kind of blarney. Set during WWI, the film captures the desperation of a besieged nation looking for hope in a bleak time. The mother of one of the girls is coping with the death of her young son, who succumbed to pneumonia; she’s eager to believe in a better, more magical world. Her devoted husband, though, can’t put aside his skepticism.

Having lost his own son in the war, Conan Doyle (Peter O’Toole) is ready to believe as well.

Less open but nonetheless tolerant is Doyle’s friend, the magician Harry Houdini (Harvey Keitel). And then there are the fairies themselves.

Yes, they do exist in the movie, and we see them interact playfully with the young girls.

Had director Charles Sturridge refrained from showing them until the conclusion, the film might have been even better for its sustained ambiguity. Nonetheless, Fairy Tale: A True Story is a charming, touching, delightful, un-Disney family film to watch in tandem with Peter Pan. In fact, the opening scenes are intercut with a performance of J.M. Barrie’s play for a wartime audience, the children clapping frantically to save Tinker Bell.

By the end of Fairy Tale, you’ll be clapping along, too.

Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com

A. Brown

CHAKKILIGINTHA Not Rated The Bollywood romance/comedy, directed by Vema Reddy, costars Sumanth Ashwin and Rehana. In Telugu.

DR. CABBIE Not Rated The Bollywood comedy, about a doctor who emigrates to Canada and can only find a job driving a taxi, costars Vinay Virmani, Adrianne Palicki and Kunal Nayyar, whom we know as Raj on The Big Bang Theory.

The story of Paramahansa Yogananda (1893-1952), who helped bring yoga and meditation to the Western world, is told in Awake, screening at Sun-Ray Cinema on Dec. 17.

Tickets available online only; $10 at gathr.us/screening/9308.

FILM RATINGS

**** CLAY DORAN ***@ CLAY GUIDA **@@ CLAY AIKEN *@@@ CLAY YARBOROUGH

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN

SUN-RAY CINEMA The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1, Force Majeure, The Babadook and Birdman through Dec. 11 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. Exodus: Gods and Kings and Goodbye to Language start Dec. 12.

LATITUDE 360 MOVIES Guardians of the Galaxy and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are currently screening at Latitude 360’s CineGrille Theater, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555, latitude360.com/jacksonville-fl.

THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Better Angels runs through Dec. 11. The Way He Looks and Joyeux Noel run through Dec. 18 at 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com.

WGHF IMAX THEATER Interstellar: The IMAX Experience, D-Day Normandy 1944, Island of Lemurs Madagascar 3D, Journey to the South Pacific, and We The People screen at World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING

ACTION JACKSON Not Rated This action/musical/crime drama stars Sunil Shetty, Ajay Devgn, Yami Gautam and Sonakshi Sinha. In Hindi.

BEYOND THE LIGHTS Rated PG-13 An idealistic up-and-comer gets schooled in the shadier aspects of urban-music economy. Costars Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Nate Parker and Minnie Driver.

BIG HERO 6 ***@ Rated PG In the near future, a teenager overcomes personal loss to defeat a villain who wants to destroy society. This is Disney Animation’s take on the highly profitable young adult, comic book and action genres merged into one, and the result is superb. Hiro (Ryan Potter), a sullen 14-year-old in San Fransokyo, is an engineering prodigy. His mother’s dead; his Aunt Cass (Maya Rudolph) is raising him. Hiro’s big brother (Daniel Henney) takes him to his college robotics lab, where he meets spunky, speedy Gogo (Jamie Chung), pretty chemistry wiz Honey Lemon (Genesis Rodriguez), goofy Fred (T.J. Miller) and martial arts master Wasabi (Damon Wayans Jr.). Baymax (Scott Adsit) is an inflatable robotic nurse that “looks like a walking marshmallow,” Hiro says. Hiro invents microbots for an upcoming student showcase and wins. — Dan Hudak THE BOOK OF LIFE ***G Rated PG First-time writer-director Jorge R. Gutierrez knocks one out of the park with this animated story of the Hispanic holiday Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead. When the mayor’s daughter María (voiced by Zoë Saldana) is courted by two childhood friends, underworld rulers (voiced by Kate

DUMB AND DUMBER TO Rated PG-13 In which Hollywood learns the belated but vital lesson that making a Dumb and Dumber movie without Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels or the Farrelly Brothers is like … well, like making a sequel to The Mask without Jim Carrey. And what kind of dope would have tried that? This time, the misadventures of the triumphantly idiotic Harry and Lloyd are again presented by their true and rightful interpreters, with the ousted Derek Richardson and Eric Christian Olsen free to anticipate a mention as a Jeopardy! question in 2031. — Steve Schneider

EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS **@@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue.

FORCE MAJEURE Rated R This unconventional disaster flick is Sweden’s submission to the Academy Awards, and I wouldn’t count them out, just based on visits to IKEA alone. Can’t wait to see how the various aesthetic components of the picture fit neatly and logically, resulting in a viewing experience that’s both reassuringly minimalist and eminently affordable. (Did I mention I recently got divorced?) In the story, a family’s skiing vacation is rent asunder by a vicious avalanche. Oh, and it’s a comedy. Hey, I’m not scoffing. Not until I find a more efficient way to organize my books and ties, anyway.— S.S. FURY ***G Rated R Ask any product of America’s public school system to name something that happened at the end of WWII, and the answer you’ll likely get is “Captain America got frozen in a block of ice.” (Hell, it’s the only thing I could name off the top of my head.) Apparently, Brad Pitt also got in a bit of trouble, risking his life to command a tank crew on a dangerous mission into the heart of the collapsing Nazi empire. How tough was Germany by April 1945? — S.S. HORRIBLE BOSSES 2 ***@ Rated R The sequel’s still funny, but it’s not as good as the original. The underlings (Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudeikis) are now bosses, and they’ve invented what they think will be the next big thing – the Shower Buddy. Investor Burt Hanson (Christoph Waltz) who promises a purchase order of 100,000 units. The scumball backs out of the deal after the units are produced, leaving the guys $500,000 in debt. To get their money, get revenge and save the company, the misguided trio plans to kidnap Burt’s grown son Rex (Chris Pine) and hold him for ransom. Hilarity ensues. Costars Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Spacey. — D.H. THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PART 1 **** Rated PG-13 The season’s big opening is our latest visit to that fabled dystopia where privation has kids slaughtering each other left and right, just so their families will have a shot at a Papa John’s Fritos-Chili Pizza. This time, heroine Wackness Leancuisine and her compatriots find themselves in the legendary District 13, which was supposedly destroyed but where Sony is actually preparing the fourth sequel to that movie about alien apartheid. (I think.) Meanwhile, Wackness has been elevated to the status of a folk hero because of the widespread dissemination of her nude selfies, entitling her own district to a year’s worth of Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew. To complete the gluttony motif, consider: We’d be done with the series now, except Lionsgate decided there was too much dosh to be had by following the Harry Potter model and slicing the last novel in the series into two individually marketable moviegoing experiences. — S.S. INTERSTELLAR **** Rated PG-13 Academy Award winners Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway and Michael Caine star in Christopher Nolan’s epic about a spaceship that travels into

a galactic wormhole in the hope of finding a new home for mankind. Nolan tackles some heavyweight issues while never succumbing to special FX-madness, creating a cerebral and highly entertaining edition to the sci-fi genre. — D.B. JOHN WICK Rated R Apparently movie gods decided not even one week could go by without a hit man emerging from retirement for our carnage-watching pleasure. The pissed-off pro in question is played by Keanu Reeves, because IT COULD HAPPEN. Directors Chad Stahelski and David Leitch are former stuntmen making their filmmaking debuts. — S.S. THE JUDGE **G@ Rated R Wedding Crashers director David Dobkin cast Robert Downey Jr. as a hotshot lawyer who has to defend his own father (Robert Duvall) on a murder charge. — S.S. KIRK CAMERON’S SAVING CHRISTMAS Rated PG It’s a homespun narrative in which former-kidstar-turned-professional-God-botherer Kirk Cameron teaches his own family the true meaning of the season. — S.S. NIGHTCRAWLER ***G Rated R Making his directorial debut, Dan Gilroy takes us into the world of LA “crime journalism,” where chasing every squad car you see might land you footage of the latest hot murder or hostage situation. Costars Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo and Bill Paxton. — S.S. PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR Rated PG It’s a good thing you checked here before throwing down with this one, because you could’ve ended up hopelessly confused. Penguins, see, is a direct sequel to Madagascar 3, and as such has nothing to do with the TV series The Penguins of Madagascar, which follows it own continuity. There! Feel fully prepared? And doesn’t discussing the “continuity” of animated Antarctic birds make you want to impale yourself on a dried-out herring? Costars the voices of Tom McGrath, Chris Miller, Christopher Knights, Benedict Cumberbatch and John Malkovich.— S.S. THE PYRAMID Rated R This horror film costars Ashley Hinshaw, James Buckley and Denis O’Hare.

ROSEWATER **G@ Rated R Reviewed in this issue.

ST. VINCENT **G@ Rated PG-13 Bill Murray hams it up in this buddy-picturesurrogate-father-dysfunctional-role-model comedy about an alcoholic vet who looks after a neighbor kid while his mom is at work. Costars Melissa McCarthy. — D.B. THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING ***G Rated PG-13 This Stephen Hawking biopic, directed by James Marsh and starring Eddie Redmayne as the brilliant physicist, shows the progression of his motor neuron disease, which ravages his body but leaves his mind intact. As a young Cambridge student, he meets Jane (Felicity Jones), a fellow student studying medieval Spanish poetry. They fall in love and marry, and she stands by him through his struggles.

(To a point; they eventually do divorce but are friendly today).

The more Stephen’s disease progresses, the better the movie gets, mostly due to Redmayne’s Oscar-worthy performance.

The distorted face, slurred speech, buckled ankles, warped fingers and contorted mannerisms seem devastatingly real, and should, given the depth of study Redmayne reportedly did, including meeting the real Stephen and Jane. Costars Harry Lloyd, Charlie Cox and Maxine Peake. — D.H. TOP FIVE Rated R I heard a news brief about the “controversial, inflammatory” interview Chris Rock gave to New York Magazine. So I rushed to check it out, because I’m all about that stuff. And here’s what the irrepressible Mr. Rock had to say: “The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.” We’ve reached the point at which even extending an olive branch to some people can be taken as aggression – which is why a police union can get its nose out of joint because five football players took to the field displaying the universal symbol for “I surrender.” Anyway, Rock’s latest flick, Top Five, is a self-written and selfdirected indie comedy that launched a bidding war at the Toronto Film Festival. In it, Rock plays a comedian whose desire to explore straight drama is not shared by the industry – a conceit that, New York’s Frank Rich pointed out, the film shares with Woody Allen’s Stardust Memories. Does that mean this is destined to be pilloried unfairly for decades until Rock does something actually deserving of ridicule? Naw – too many nice white people these days. — S.S.

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 27

A&E // ARTS

The Florida Thinker, mixed media, 36”x42”

FAMILIAR FABLES Mac Truque’s reality and imagination

N

on a wide variety of subjects in each exhibit. I ortheast Florida artist Mac Truque has gone may produce many, many landscapes, but they through quite a transformation are still no more than the cornerstone of the in the last few years. At 40, the multifaceted narrative works that always beg the viewer to painter has focused on balancing that artistic life take a closer look at titles and possible lore that with parenthood’s pragmatic realities, looking exists beneath the surface. I’m always looking to create a stable environment for his 4-year-old for a greater balance between the inspiration son. Mac, who was featured on the cover of Folio behind the “message” of an exhibit and the Weekly in 2006, also recently traded living in work that actually makes it to the walls. Winter Springfield, which he called home for more than Wonderlost suggests that my effort to shift a decade, for a farm in St. Johns County. attention to art books where I can share more Always a highly prolific artist, Mac has a of these ideas will be displayed in an array of new exhibit, Winter Wonderlost, opening Dec. displays, showing a much more accurate sample 12, featuring nearly 100 of his paintings. It’s a of how I work and what drives my enthusiasm. mixed-media collection of “snapshots of the diversity of Florida life.” The works run the Your son is now 4 years old. How has being gamut from the figurative study of The Florida a father changed your approach to art and the Thinker, which features a man floating along business of art? a river in an inner tube, to the landscape The I started working harder. I began seeing Future of Sentimental, which shows an orange work as product. My pleasure had become juice billboard encroaching onto a lush setting. spending time with my son, not painting. To Folio Weekly caught up with Mac to talk this day, I am raising him alone. I keep the about his latest work, fatherhood and faith. house, cook the meals and dig down deep for Folio Weekly: What was the the energy to produce as much as I impetus behind focusing on Florida in so we can make ends meet. In “I try not to can Winter Wonderlost? essence, I had always had it easy. And overwork Mac Truque Skinner: Although now, I was just like everybody else my ideas.” — only my work isn’t something that I am blessed to have survived all these years as a painter, like anything people find necessary, so I have to try magical, it can be just another job. Much of the harder to appeal to what collectors are looking theme reflects that which might not seem as for. I have to be careful not to spend too much glorious or fantastical as one might hope life to time pursuing my own flights of fantasy, even become. There is a tone of practicality beneath though that’s exactly what I am theoretically the subject of much of this work. It’s a reflection trying to accomplish. I have to work very, very of what is inherently a local identity. Winter hard at not thinking about how many groceries Wonderlost is about the life cycle of imagination. a painting in progress might bring us. I try not You are adept at painting both figurative to think about how foolish it is to still be doing and landscape works, but the pieces seem to this for a living. have a reverie-like quality that makes them I’ve read that you’re a minister. Do you unlike much “straight” realistic painting. Is this still practice? deliberate?

I was ordained many years ago and served as a youth minister, but for many reasons I found I think there is a storybook quality in the that I was not really suited for the structure work. I don’t go to great lengths to attempt of the modern church. I now see millennials academic techniques. I simply paint a balance asking the questions I asked, and I find few who of what appeals to me, and what I think the are able to answer those questions. Faith is not audience can identify with. I prefer a loose supposed to be a denial of truth. It’s supposed to style that makes the paintings seem nearly be a foundation for it. incidental, upon close inspection. I try not to overwork my ideas.

Kara Pound How do you feel your work has evolved over mail@folioweekly.com the past 15 years?

I don’t know that my work has changed WINTER WONDERLOST over the last 15 years. Perhaps there is a bit Opening reception 5-8 p.m. Dec. 12, more aesthetic polish in some pieces, colors Karpeles Manuscript Library Museum, Springfield, rain.org. The exhibit is on display through Dec. 30. might be a little truer, but I am still focused

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS

Works by SEBASTIAN PIERRE are on display at Southlight Gallery in Downtown Jacksonville through Jan. 2.

PERFORMANCE

A CHRISTMAS CAROL Jason Woods performs the roles of more than 25 characters in this one-man show version of Charles Dickens’ classic Christmas tale at 7:30 p.m. on Dec. 11, 12 and 13 at Christ Episcopal Church, 400 San Juan Dr., Ponte Vedra Beach, $15; $30 for a wine and hors d’oeuvres reception 6:30 p.m. Dec. 11, christmascarol.ticketleap.com.

YES, VIRGINIA THE MUSICAL Students from Murray Middle School perform this musical, based on Virginia O’Hanlon’s letter about the existence of Santa Claus to the New York Sun in 1897, at 7 p.m. on Dec. 12 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., free, 2090367, staugamphitheatre.com.

COMMUNITY NUTCRACKER This annual festive classic, featuring a cast of local children, is staged at 8 p.m. on Dec. 12 and 2 and 8 p.m. on Dec. 13 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $19.50$33, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com.

JINGLE BELL ROCK This revue of holiday hits, featuring classics like “Sleigh Ride” and “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree,” is presented at 3 p.m. on Dec. 13 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6815, $15-$44, thcenter.org.

RSVP HOLIDAY CONCERT The Ritz Theatre & Museum presents holiday-themed entertainment at 7 p.m. on Dec. 14 at 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com.

DIRTY DANCING A stage production based on the 1987 film, featuring dancing and classic tunes like “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” and “Hungry Eyes,” is staged at 7:30 p.m. Dec. 9, 10 and 11, 8 p.m. Dec. 12, 2 and 8 p.m. 13 and 1:30 and 7 p.m. on Dec. 14 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, 442-2929, $37.50-$97.50, artistseriesjax.org.

PETER PAN The musical version of the story of the boy who refused to grow up is staged 7:30 p.m. Dec. 10-13, 2:30 p.m. Dec. 14 at Amelia Musical Playhouse, 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina Beach, 277-3455, $20; $15 students, ameliamusicalplayhouse.com. ’TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre presents a musical comedy based on the holiday classic, about a mouse, an elf and a little girl, at 8 p.m. on Dec. 12 and 13 and 2 p.m. on Dec. 14 at Adele Grage Cultural Center, 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, $20 for adults, $10 for kids younger than 18 with an adult; 249-7177, abettheatre.com. The play is staged through Dec. 21.

SHERLOCK HOLMES & THE CASE OF THE CHRISTMAS CAROL Bob Weintraub directs the holiday-themed mystery about the legendary detective at 8 p.m. on Dec. 11, 12 and 13 and 2 p.m. on Dec. 14 at Amelia Community Theatre, 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, $20; $10 for students, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. The play is staged through Dec. 20.

THE GREAT AMERICAN TRAILER PARK CHRISTMAS Lee Hamby directs this musical comedy about zany holiday hijinks at Armadillo Acres trailer park at 8 p.m. on Dec. 11, 12 and 13 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, $28, 249-0289, playersbythesea.org.

WHITE CHRISTMAS This musical production of the holiday classic features Irving Berlin’s original score with a libretto by David Ives and Paul Blake. It’s accompanied by a themed menu created by Executive Chef DeJuan Roy and runs through Dec. 24. Dinner at 6 p.m., curtain up at 8 p.m. Tue.-Thur., $49.95 plus tax; Fri. and Sat., $55 plus tax; brunch 11 a.m., show 1:15 p.m. Wed. and Sat. and brunch at noon, show 2 p.m. Sun., $47 plus tax; at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, alhambrajax.com.

MIRACLE ON 34th STREET THE MUSICAL Based on the movie of the same name, this musical version of the holiday classic about a little girl who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, and her encounter with the jolly fellow himself at Macy’s, is staged at 7:30 p.m. on Dec. 11, 12 and 13 and 2 p.m. on Dec. 14 at Limelight Theatre, 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, $25, 825-1164, limelight-theatre.org. The play runs through Jan. 4.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

ROCKAPELLA HOLIDAY REVUE The five-man a cappella ensemble performs a free concert of holiday hits at 7 p.m. Dec. 10 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, staugamphitheatre.com.

THE MANHATTAN TRANSFER CHRISTMAS SHOW The legendary a cappella vocal group performs a free holiday concert at 7 p.m. on Dec. 11 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, staugamphitheatre.com.

TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA The progressive rock group performs the rock opera, The Christmas Attic, at 7:30 p.m. on Dec. 11 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 A. Philip Randolph Blvd., Downtown, $29-$58.75, 630-3900, jaxevents.com.

HOLIDAY POPS The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra plays a festive concert 11 a.m. and 8 p.m. on Dec. 12, joined by The Jacksonville Symphony Chorus and acrobatic troupe Cirque de la Symphonie at 3 and 8 p.m. on Dec. 13 and 3 p.m. on Dec. 14 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 Water St., Downtown, $16-$69, 354-3578.

The symphony is accepting new, unwrapped toys for its toy drive through Dec. 14. jaxsymphony.org.

THE GIFT OF MUSIC The St. Augustine Orchestra and St. Augustine High School Chamber Singers perform The Nutcracker Suite, the “Hallelujah” chorus from Messiah and other holiday favorites at 8 p.m. on Dec. 12 at Lightner Museum, 25 Granada St., St. Augustine, $20, staugustineorchestra.org.

20th ANNUAL TUBA CHRISTMAS More than 150 (!) tuba players perform holiday classics at 2 p.m. on Dec. 13 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188, jacksonvillelanding.com.

SOUNDS OF THE SEASON The First Coast Wind Ensemble and the Don Thompson Chorale perform at 7:30 p.m. on Dec. 13 at Bolles School Bartram Campus Parker Auditorium, 2264 Bartram Rd., Arlington, fcwe.org.

DEPUE BROTHERS BAND The seven-piece contemporary bluegrass band performs “A Grassical Christmas” at 3 p.m. on Dec. 14 at Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd, 1100 Stockton St., Riverside, $30; $10 for students, 389-6222, rfaajax.org. Bring an unwrapped toy, or two or more non-perishable food items, for an extra ticket.

ST. AUGUSTINE COMMUNITY CHORUS The large-scale vocal group performs “A Festive Spanish Christmas,” featuring selections from Handel’s Messiah, at 7:45 p.m. on Dec. 13 and 1:45 p.m. on Dec. 14 at Cathedral Basilica of St. Augustine, 38 Cathedral Place, advance tickets $20; $25 at the door; $5 for students, staugustinecommunitychorus.org.

HOLIDAY EXCURSIONS This seasonal concert, featuring pianist Gary Smart and University of North Florida faculty members, is presented at 3 p.m. on Dec. 14 at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown, 630-2353, jplmusic.blogspot.com.

HOLIDAY CHORUS CONCERT The Lakeside Junior High Chorus performs seasonal music at 6:30 p.m. on Dec. 15 at Clay County Headquarters Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island, 278-3722, claycountygov.com.

A TRIBUTE TO MARY LOU WILLIAMS The music of the legendary jazz pianist, composer and arranger is featured at 6 p.m. on Dec. 16 at Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com.

A PETER WHITE CHRISTMAS with RICK BRAUN & MINDI ABAIR The contemporary jazz trio performs holiday classics at 8 p.m. on Dec. 16 at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Downtown, $31.50-$56.50, 355-2787, floridatheatre.com.

HOLIDAY CONCERT The Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra is featured in this EMMA Concert Series event at 7:30 p.m. on Dec. 17 and 18 at Flagler College’s Lewis Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine, $35, 797-2800, emmaconcerts.com.

COMEDY

BRIAN POSEHN The alternative comedy fave, who was a regular cast member on Mr. Show and The Sarah Silverman Show, performs at 8 and 10:30 p.m. on Dec. 13 at Underbelly, 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, $20, 353-6067, underbellylive.com.

FRANKIE PAUL & J. BLISS This duo of quick-witted comedians perform at 8 p.m. on Dec. 10 and 11, at 8:30 p.m. on Dec. 12 and at 8 and 10 p.m. on Dec. 13 at the Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $8-$10, 292-4242, comedyzone.com.

TOM COTTER Cotter, who’s appeared on The Tonight Show, performs at 8:04 p.m. on Dec. 11 and at 8:04 and 10:10 p.m. on Dec. 12 and 13 at Comedy Club of Jacksonville, 11000 Beach Blvd., $6-$15, 646-4277, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

MAD COWFORD IMPROV Weekly PG-13-rated improv shows, based on audience suggestion, are held at 8:15 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at Northstar Substation, 119 E. Bay St., Downtown, $5, 233-2359, madcowford.com.

HOT POTATO COMEDY HOUR Local comics at 9 p.m. every Mon. at rain dogs., 1045 Park St., Riverside, free, 379-4969.

OPEN DOOR SUNDAYS Open mic night is held at 9 p.m. every Sun. at Tapa That, 820 Lomax St., 5 Points, free, 376-9911, tapathat.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

ONE SPARK CREATOR REGISTRATION One Spark has opened registration for creators for the April 7-12, 2015 festival. Fees are $65 through Dec. 14, $75 from Dec. 15-Jan. 18 and $95

from Jan. 19-Feb. 14. For more info, go to onespark.com.

PAINT A MONET Artist Jolene DuBray teaches how to paint Claude Monet’s The Seine at Benecourt Winter from 6-8 p.m. on Dec. 13 at 44 Monroe Art Studio & Gallery, 44 W. Monroe St., Downtown, $30, 881-0209, portraitpainters.net.

TAC SEEKS ARTIST SUBMISSIONS Visual artists may submit works that portray shadows, light, or both for the upcoming exhibit Shadows and Light from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Mon.-Thur. at TAC, 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown. Entry deadline is noon on Jan. 13. tacjacksonville.org.

JAX JAZZ FEST SEEKS ARTISTS The Jacksonville Jazz Festival has opened a call for artists to submit samples of work and a statement for consideration for its 2015 poster.

For details, go to jaxjazzfest.com.

STUDENT WRITING CONTEST Friends of the Library holds a writing contest for students, with the topic “Why must you learn to read well?” Typed submissions should be original prose only; word counts: grades 4-5: 150-200; grades 6-8: 250-300 words; grades 9-12: 500-750. Deadline is Dec. 15. Mail submissions to Ponte Vedra Beach Library, P.O. Box 744, Ponte Vedra Beach FL 32204 or submit in person at the library, 101 Library Blvd.; friendspvlibrary.org.

AMATEUR NIGHT Musicians, singers, comedians and poets perform in an audience-judged competition at 7:30 p.m. every first Fri. at Ritz Theatre & Museum, $6.

COMEDY WORKSHOP The Comedy Club of Jacksonville holds comedy workshops 3:30-5:30 p.m. the first and third Sat. of every month at 11000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 646-4277, all skill levels are welcome, jacksonvillecomedy.com.

TOASTMASTERS CLUB The Lillian Bradley Toastmasters Club, an organization that teaches better communication and leadership skills, meets from 6-7:15 p.m. on the second, fourth and fifth Tue. of the month at Ritz Theatre & Museum, Downtown, 807-2010, ritzjacksonville.com.

ART WALKS, FESTIVALS & MARKETS

ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK Downtown Fernandina Beach galleries are open for self-guided tours, 5:30-8:30 p.m. Dec. 13 and every second Sat., 277-0717, ameliaisland.com.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, local music and entertainment – featuring Cathedral Arts Project, Jacksonville Harmony Chorus, Pine Forest School of the Arts, Studio K Dance, GUDGUD, Showtime USA and Christmas movies (from 6-9 p.m.) on Dec. 13 – food artists and a farmers market are featured 10 a.m.-9 p.m. under the Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com.

MUSEUMS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. It Came from the Attic: Collections celebrates the art of collecting. The children’s exhibit Discovery Ship allows kids to pilot the ship, hoist flags and learn about the history of Fernandina’s harbor.

AMERICAN BEACH MUSEUM American Beach Community Center, 1600 Julia St., Fernandina Beach, 277-7960, nassaucountyfl.com/facilities. The Sands of Time: An American Beach Story, an exhibit celebrating the beach as well as the life and activism of MaVynee Betsch, “The Beach Lady” is currently on display.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY PARK 381 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657, beachesmuseum.org. The Art of Leigh Murphy, featuring a collection of watercolors, is on display through Jan. 20.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. The fashion-themed exhibit Icons of Style: Fashion Makers, Models, and Images is on display through Jan. 4. All Together: The Sculpture of Chaim Gross is on display through Oct. 4, 2015. British Watercolors is on display through Nov. 29, 2015.

KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992, rain.org/~karpeles/jaxfrm.html.

Winter Wonderlost, an exhibit of paintings by macTruque, is on display through Dec. 30. An artist’s reception is held at 5 p.m. on Dec. 12. The exhibit The Presidents of the Continental Congress is on display through December. The permanent collection includes many rare manuscripts.

LIGHTNER MUSEUM 75 King St., St. Augustine, 824-2874, lightnermuseum.org. Curator-led monthly tours are featured at 10 a.m. every first Wed. Thirty paintings by 19th-Century artist Felix F. de Crano are on display from Dec. 11-March 1, 2015. Photographer Theresa Segal’s exhibit Undisclosed: Photographs from the Lightner is on display through Jan. 2.

MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Rd., 268-0784, mandarinmuseum.net.

The exhibit The Maple Leaf, which features artifacts and information from the Civil War era, runs through December.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville. com. The discussion “MOCA Book Club: Andrew Wyeth – A Secret Life” is held at 1 and 7 p.m. on Dec. 11. The opening reception for Erica Mendoza: Visual Love Letters is held 2-4 p.m. on Dec. 14. The exhibit is on display through March 30, 2015. Project Atrium: Angela Strassheim, featuring Strassheim’s photographs that address the ephemeral nature of childhood and adolescence, is on display through March 1.

The exhibits Get Real: New American Painting and Jason John Studio Experience run through Jan. 4. Art + Design Faculty Exhibition is mounted in the UNF Gallery through Jan. 18.

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 29

A&E // ARTS & EVENTS MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Southbank, 396-6674, themosh.org. The Alien Who Stole Christmas is screened at 11 a.m. on Dec. 13. The exhibit Odyssey’s SHIPWRECK! Pirates & Treasure is on display through March. Skies Over Jacksonville, a detailed live star show, is screened daily in the Planetarium at 2 p.m.

WORLD GOLF HALL OF FAME & MUSEUM 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine, worldgolfhalloffame.org. Honoring the Legacy: A Tribute to African-Americans in Golf – an exhibit featuring photographs, audio, video and memorabilia from the late 1800s to the present – is in the WGHOF permanent collection.

GALLERIES

ALEXANDER BREST GALLERY Jacksonville University, 2800 N. University Blvd., 256-7371. The Annual Student Juried Exhibition is on display through Dec. 10.

BISCOTTIS 3556 St. Johns Ave., San Marco, 387-2060. Chip Southworth’s exhibit BRIDGES runs through December.

CoRK ARTS DISTRICT 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside,

corkartsdistrict.tumblr.com. The reception for Poor Traits, featuring portrait works by Roy Albert Berry, Ashley Olberding, Sarah Colado, Crooked Paw and Fake Art, is held from 6-10 p.m. on Dec. 13 and features beer, wine and a food truck.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-0614, ccpvb.org.

The Small Objects Art Sale, featuring original small works by more than 30 local artists, is held 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Fri. and 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Sat. through Dec. 27. Proceeds benefit the Center’s programs.

CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. The opening reception for the Fall 2014 Student Portfolio Exhibition is held from 5-9 p.m. on Dec. 11. The exhibit is on display from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on Dec. 12, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Dec. 13.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928, firststreetgalleryart.com. An exhibit of new watercolors by Robert Leedy is on display through Jan. 7.

FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside, 535-7252, floridamininggallery.com. The exhibit

Water Appears and Disappears, featuring works by multidisciplinary artist Geoff Mitchell, runs through Dec. 19.

HASKELL GALLERY Jax International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Rd., 741-3546. Works by Amy Labonte are on display through Dec. 26.

J. JOHNSON GALLERY 177 Fourth Ave. N., Jax Beach, 435-3200, jjohnsongallery.com. The exhibit Winter Selections, featuring works by Gray Malin, Chris RobertsAntieau, Slomotion, Craig Kaths, Ryan McGinness, Mark Messersmith, Carlos Betancourt, Joy Laville and Julie York, is on display through Jan. 9.

PLUM GALLERY 10 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069.

Works by glassmaker Thomas Long and sculptor Mindy Colton are featured through December.

NARTHEX TRANSITIONAL GALLERY Hendricks Avenue Baptist Church, 4001 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 396-7745.

The exhibit In the Fullness of Time, featuring works by Maribel Angel, Mary Atwood, Mary Ann Bryan, John Bunker, Cookie Davis, Jean Carrison Dodd, Keith Doles, Michael Dunlap, Carole Mehrtens, Suzanne Schuenke, Jim Smith and Diantha

York-Ripley, is on display through Jan. 16.

RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555, ritzjacksonville.com. The photography exhibit The Fine Art of Jazz, showcasing the impact of Kansas City jazz musicians, is on display through Jan. 7.

ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The exhibit Faces and Places: Scott Waters is on display through Jan. 22.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 438-4358, southlightgallery.com. Original works by the 30-plus members of the gallery are featured each month. UNF ArtSpace: Urban Spaces: The One Show, featuring works by Sebastian Pierre, is on display through Jan. 2.

ST. AUGUSTINE VISITOR INFORMATION CENTER 10 W. Castillo Dr., 825-1000, staugustine-450.com. The exhibit The First Coast Through the Eyes of Masters features St. Augustinethemed works by 19th and early 20th century painters.

THRASHER-HORNE CENTER FOR THE ARTS 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6815, thcenter.org. The photographic tribute The American Solider: From the Civil War to the War in Iraq is on display through Feb. 14.

UNDERBELLY 113 E. Bay St., Downtown, 699-8186, underbellylive.com. Darryl Green exhibits his photography and is featured in a book-signing at 6 p.m. on Dec. 17; a performance

by Universal Green is also featured. $7 after 9 p.m.

UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA GALLERY 1 UNF Dr., Jacksonville, 620-2534. The exhibit Beyond the Degree, featuring works by UNF alumni including Ashley Maxwell, Devin Balara, Bobby Davidson, Corey Kolb, Staci BuShea, Zach Fitchner and David Nackashi, runs through Dec. 12.

EVENTS

GIRLS ROCK JAX VOLUNTEER SHOWCASE Live music by seven bands comprising Girls Rock Jacksonville camp volunteers, as well as a silent auction and raffles, food and drink and face-painting are featured 7-11 p.m. on Dec. 12 at CoRK Arts District, 2689 Rosselle St., Riverside, admission is a sliding scale donation of $5-$15, girlsrockjacksonville.org.

Proceeds benefit Girls Rock Camp Jacksonville.

WHITEY’S BOAT PARADE The 12th annual lighted boat parade, featuring a veritable armada of festively-decorated boats, kicks off at 6:30 p.m. on Dec. 13 at Whitey’s Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, Fleming Island, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com.

ST. AUGUSTINE B&B TOUR The 21st annual St. Augustine Historic Inns Bed & Breakfast Holiday Tour is a self-guided tour of 25 B&Bs, featuring live music, 1-5 p.m. on Dec. 13 and 14. Two-day tickets are $30; staugustinebandbtour.com.

REGATTA OF LIGHTS Sailboats, trawlers, shrimp boats and other maritime vessels decked out in holiday lights are featured at 6 p.m. on Dec. 13 at Matanzas Bay between the Bridge of Lions and Castillo de San Marcos, St. Augustine, staugustineyachtclub.com.

THE CHILDREN’S CHRISTMAS PARTY Santa and Mrs. Claus are on hand to greet children ages 12 and younger, who otherwise might not receive a gift this year, from 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m. (or earlier if toys are gone) on Dec. 13 at Prime Osborn Convention Center, 1000 Water St., Downtown, 630-4000, ccpoj.org.

JACKSONVILLE ZOOLIGHTS Thousands of LED lights, moving sculptures, animal silhouettes, a train and a “Polar Express” ride are featured beginning Dec. 12 from 6-9:30 p.m. every Mon.-Thur. and 6-10 p.m. every Fri.-Sun. through Jan. 4 at Jacksonville Zoo & Gardens, 370 Zoo Parkway, Northside, $10; $8 members, 757-4463, jacksonvillezoo.org.

YAPPY HOUR CHRISTMAS This “pawty,” which benefits the city’s Animal Care & Protective Services, offers free pooch photos for the first 50 people with any pet food donation valued at $10, or a $10 donation, from 2-5 p.m. on Dec. 14 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Downtown, 353-1188, jacksonvillelanding.com.

ST. AUGUSTINE PECHA KUCHA Pecha Kucha Volume 6: Bliss features presenters displaying 20 images for 20 seconds and giving a talk on the subject of bliss at 6 p.m. on Dec. 17 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., 209-0367, staugamphitheatre.com.

JAX HOLIDAY BASH “Rock Your Finest Ugly Holiday Sweater Celebrity Fashion Show,” prizes, live music, games and art are featured 5:30-9:30 p.m. Dec. 11 at Unity Plaza, 220 Riverside Ave., Riverside, $35; $60 for two; $20 for public employees. Wear your ugliest holiday sweater, jaxholidaybash2014.eventbrite.com.

MARINELAND LECTURE GTM Research Reserve biologists Pamela Marcum and Jason Lynn discuss “The Amazing Saltmarsh: Coastal Florida’s Valuable Backyard” 10-11 a.m. Dec. 16 at GTMRR’s Marineland Field Office, 9741 Ocean Shore Blvd., Marineland.

The biologists have spent the past year taking a close look at saltmarshes to better understand how this dynamic ecosystem functions and what vulnerabilities it faces. Admission is free, space is limited, reservations are requested. RSVP at gtmnerrmarinelandlecture.eventbrite.com or call 823-4500.

KOSHER COOKING DEMONSTRATION Celebrity chef Jamie Geller is featured in this kosher cooking demonstration and book-signing from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on Dec. 11 at Winn-Dixie, 1520 W. University Blvd., Lakewood; first 40 attendees receive Geller’s complimentary cookbook, 448-5400.

30 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

DINING DIRECTORY

Lauren Ligeti, Leeann Rogers, Mary Rials and Lauren Moreno, servers at Culhane’s Irish Pub in Atlantic Beach, share a pint of Guinness and whiskey-glazed Atlantic salmon. Photo: Dennis Ho To get listed, call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8- $14 $$$ = $15- $22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting.

To join, go to fwbiteclub.com.

2014 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot Average Entrée Cost

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29southrestaurant. com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, nachos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality in an upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F In a historic building, family-owned spot offers veggie burgers, fresh seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oakshaded patio. Karibrew Pub has beer brewed onsite. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY CO., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Freshly baked handmade Europeanstyle breads and pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies, baked daily. $ TO B R L Daily CIAO ITALIAN BISTRO, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistroluca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto. Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade meat lasagna. $ L Fri., Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, ameliaislanddavids.com. Historic district fine dining. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S WINGS, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. ELIZABETH POINTE LODGE, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. BOJ. Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, indoors or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW K B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. Seventh St., 432-8394, lulus amelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, little plates, fresh local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market and deli, in the Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moonriver pizza.net. F BOJ. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Snail of Approval. Casual organic eatery and juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, coffee, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL BAKERY, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, thepecanrollbakery.com. The bakery, near the historic district, has sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels, breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club.

Omni Plantation Spa & Shops. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ. 2nd-story outdoor bar.

Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, broiled cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652,

slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront; handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S Fresh Burgers & Fries, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. Historic district. Freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S BURGER STATION, 202 S. 8th St., 261-6310. F BOJ. This spot in an old gas station offers blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S WINGS, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. BOJ. SEE P. VEDRA. LA NOPALERA, 8818 Atlantic Blvd., 720-0106. BOJ. SEE MANDARIN.

LARRY’S SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

THE SHEIK DELI, 9720 Atlantic Blvd., 721-2660. Familyowned-and-operated for 40+ years, with a full breakfast (pitas to country plates) and a lunch menu. $ TO B L D Mon.-Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BAGEL LOVE, 4114 Herschel St., Ste. 121, 634-7253, bagel lovejax.com. BOJ. Locally-owned-and-operated. Northern style bagels, sandwiches, wraps, bakery. Fresh-squeezed orange juice, lemonade; coffee, tea. $ K TO B L Daily THE CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966, thecas bahcafe.com. F BOJ. Middle Eastern/Mediterranean fare.

Patio, hookah lounge, bellydancers. $$ BW L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 3543 St. Johns Ave., 829-5790. F In Green Man Gourmet. SEE PONTE VEDRA. $$ TO FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386.

Premium ice cream, fresh waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in Florida-centric décor.

Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day.

Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 4530 St. Johns Ave., 388-8828. F BOJ. SEE MANDARIN.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ. 40+ years. Burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. PULP, 3645 St. Johns Ave., pulpaddiction.com. SEE SAN MARCO. RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ. French/Southern bistro; emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops.

Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040.

F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 8060 Philips Hwy., Ste. 105, 731-4300. F SEE BEACHES.

BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, Ste. 3, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-andoperated Italian spot. Calzones, wings, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8, 620-0777,

indiajax.com. F BOJ. Authentic Indian cuisine, lunch buffet.

Curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LA NOPALERA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 732-9433. F BOJ. SEE MANDARIN.

LARRY’S SUBS, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PIZZA PALACE Restaurant & Pizzeria, 3928 Baymeadows, 527-8649, pizzapalacejax.com. F Casual, family-owned; homestyle faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining; HD TVs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 8133 Point Meadows Dr., 519-0509.

BOJ. SEE BEACHES. TEQUILAS Mexican Restaurant, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 101, 363-1365. Salsa, guacamole, chips, beans, rice and meat dishes made fresh daily. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zestyindia. com. Asian/European; tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka.

Vegetarian cooked separately. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Bchs Town Ctr., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. BOJ. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian.

Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201.

BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. BUDDHA THAI BISTRO, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddha thaibistro.com. The proprietors are from Thailand; every dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily BURRITO GALLERY Express, 1333 Third St. N., 242-8226.

BOJ. SEE DOWNTOWN. CANTINA MAYA Sports Bar & Grille, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 247-3227. Popular spot serves margaritas, great Latin food, burgers. Sports on TVs. $$ FB K L D Tue.-Sun. CASA MARIA, 2429 S. Third St., 372-9000, casamariajax. com. F Family-owned-and-operated place offers authentic Mexican fare: fajitas and seafood dishes, hot sauces made inhouse. The specialty is tacos de asada. $ FB K L D Daily CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 249-9595, culhanesirishpub.com. Bite Club. Upscale pub/restaurant owned and run by sisters from County Limerick. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub fare. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. BOJ. SEE

Theatre Jacksonville and Mad Cowford present

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

RIVERSIDE.

FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Bchs Town Ctr., Neptune Beach, 853-5680, flyingiguana. com. F Latin American fusion, Southwest taste: tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815, harmon iousmonks.net. F SEE MANDARIN. LA NOPALERA, 1222 Third St. S., 372-4495. F BOJ. SEE MANDARIN.

LARRY’S SUBS, 657 N. Third St., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Bchs Town Ctr., NB, 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine indoors or out, patio and courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N., Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. BOJ. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., Bchs Town Ctr., NB, 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean eatery, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside or on the patio. Valet parking. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojo bbq.com. F BOJ. Pulled pork, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta

DECEMBER 20 @ 8pm TICKETS: $20 FOR TICKET INFORMATION, CONTACT: BOX OFFICE: (904) 396-4425 WEBSITE: www.theatrejax.com

THEATRE JACKSONVILLE | HAROLD K. SMITH PLAYHOUSE 2032 SAN MARCO BLVD., JACKSONVILLE, FL 32207

SPONSORED IN PART BY THE STATE OF FLORIDA, DEPARTMENT OF STATE, DIVISION OF CULTURAL AFFAIRS, THE FLORIDA COUNCIL ON ARTS AND CULTURE, THE NATIONAL ENDOWMENT FOR THE ARTS, THE CITY OF JACKSONVILLE, AND THE CULTURAL COUNCIL OF GREATER JACKSONVILLE, INC.

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 31

GRILL ME!

DINING DIRECTORY

A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE FOOD BIZ

NAME: Jose Antonio Sanchez RESTAURANT: Athens Café, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Mandarin BIRTHPLACE: Perú YEARS IN THE BIZ: 10 BEST CUISINE STYLE: Mediterranean GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Olive oil, feta, dill IDEAL MEAL: Greek chicken lemon rice soup, lamb chops with spinach sautéed with garlic, wine and lemon juice, and real Greek desserts WILL NOT CROSS MY LIPS: Liver INSIDER’S SECRET: Don’t overcook or undercook.

1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F For 30+ years, all over town, they pile ’em high and serve ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups, salads. $ K TO B L D Daily POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA, 2134 Park Ave., 264-6116.

Family-owned-and-operated, offering pizzas and wings made in coal-fired ovens. Espresso, cappuccino. $ BW TO L D Daily THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F For 35-plus years, Roadhouse has been offering wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 75+ imported beers. $ FB L D Daily THE SHEIK, 1994 Kingsley Ave., 276-2677. SEE ARLINGTON.

CELEBRITY SIGHTING @ Athens Café: Enriqué Iglesias CULINARY TREAT: Dark chocolate fried catfish, all the sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., Bchs Town Ctr., AB, 241-2599, mshackburgers.com. F BOJ. David and Matthew Medure flip burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes, familiar fare. Dine in or outside. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic, Ste. 6, AB, 372-4105, nbbistro.com. Bite Club. Chef-driven kitchen; hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas menu. HH. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60 Restaurant, Wine Bar, Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., Bchs Town Ctr., AB, 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, dinner specials and a seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., AB, 241-7637. Named for Baltimore’s macabre poet Edgar Allan Poe, American gastropub has 50+ beers, gourmet hamburgers, ground in-house, cooked to order; hand-cut French fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME TAVERN & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Bchs Town Ctr., AB, 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, the iconic seafood place has scored many awards in our BOJ readers poll. Blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlife foodshack.com. BOJ. Specialty items: signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in a modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., Bchs Town Ctr., N.B., 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Beachcasual. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. BOJ. More than 20 beers on tap, TV screens, cheerleaders serving the food. Happy hour Mon.Fri. $ FB K L D Daily TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-8226, tacolu.com. BOJ. Fresh, Baja-style fare with a focus on fish tacos, tequila (more than 135 kinds) and mezcal. Bangin’ shrimp, carne asada, carnitas, daily fresh fish selections. Madefresh-daily guacamole. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L D Tue.-Fri.

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made fare: subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. BURRITO GALLERY & Bar, 21 E. Adams, 598-2922, burrito gallery.com. BOJ. Southwestern burritos, ginger teriyaki tofu, beef barbacoa, wraps, tacos. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. CASA MARIA, 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104, 757-6411. F SEE BEACHES.

CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chef-inspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’s Irish Pub & Restaurant, The Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO MARKET, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com.

From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE. LA NOPALERA, 1571 C.R. 220, 215-2223. F BOJ. SEE MANDARIN. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999.

F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfish camp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie.com.

Owner Mike Sims’ concept: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses, 40+ toppings. 5 minutes in a brick oven and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S PIZZA, 14286 Beach Blvd., Ste. 31, 223-0991. F SEE BEACHES.

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

PONTE VEDRA, PALM VALLEY, NW ST. JOHNS

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. LA NOPALERA MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 14333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 39, 992-1666. F BOJ. Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos.

Some La Nops have a full bar. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE ORANGE PARK. TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 2236999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-owned-and-operated.

Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-night menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540.

BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ.

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F SEE BEACHES. CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 145 Hilden Rd., Ste. 122, 829-5790, claudeschocolate.com. Hand-crafted premium Belgian chocolate, fruits, nuts, spices. Cookies, popsicles. $$ TO DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ. NASCAR-themed; 365 kinds of wings, half-pound burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766, pussersusa.com. BOJ. Bite Club. Innovative Caribbean cuisine features regional faves: Jamaican grilled pork ribs, Trinidad smoked duck, lobster macaroni & cheese dinner.

Tropical drinks. $$ FB K TO L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurant medure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, happy hour. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

SEE SAN MARCO.

PIZZA PALACE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-2171. F SEE BAYMEADOWS.

MANDARIN

AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008.

F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F SEE BEACHES. ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant).

Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 288-9211.

13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special.

Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxram ada.com. In Ramada. Prime rib, crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily breakfast, lunch and dinner buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily GILMON’S BAKERY, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 13, 288-8128, gilmonsbakery.com. Custom cakes, cupcakes, gingerbread men, pies, cookies, coffee, tea. $$ B L Tue.-Sat. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American-style steakhouse: Angus steaks, gourmet burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. KAZU Japanese Restaurant, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 35, 683-9903, kazujapaneserestaurant.com. BOJ. Wide variety of soups, dumplings, appetizers, salads, bento boxes, sushi, entrées, maki handrolls, sashimi. $$ BW TO L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 11700 San Jose Blvd., 288-0175. F BOJ. Tamales, fajitas, pork tacos. $$ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 3, 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. Natural, organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods, juices, smoothies. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE RED ELEPHANT PIZZA & GRILL, 10131 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 12, 683-3773, redelephantpizza.com. F Casual, familyfriendly eatery serves steaks, seafood, chicken grill specials.

Five topping selections. Salads, sandwiches, pizza. Gluten-free friendly. $ FB K L D Daily STEAMIN, 9703 San Jose Blvd., 493-2020, eatsteamin.com.

Classic diner serves steam burgers, fat dogs and chili, 50+ craft beers. $ FB TO B Sat.-Sun.; L D Daily

ORANGE PARK, GREEN COVE

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza.com.

F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Road, 272-5959, hilltop-club.com.

Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LA NOPALERA, 9734 Crosshill Blvd., 908-4250. 2024 Kingsley Ave., 276-2776. F BOJ. SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553.

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com.

BOJ. Intimate bistro serves authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for American tastes, specializing in tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S DELI, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., Ste. 201, 388-8384. F SEE BEACHES.

BLACK SHEEP RESTAURANT, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, blacksheep5points.com. New American fare has a Southern twist, made with locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN COFFEE ROASTERS, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. BOJ. F Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting.

Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free and vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily.

DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 5972 San Juan Ave., 693-9258.

BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. EDGEWOOD BAKERY, 1012 S. Edgewood Ave., 389-8054, edgewoodbakery.com. BOJ. 66+ years, full-service bakery.

Fresh breakfast, pastries, petit fours, pies, cakes. Espresso, sandwiches, smoothies. $$ K TO B L Tue.-Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999, europeanstreet.com. BOJ. 130+ imported beers, 20 on tap.

NYC-style classic Reuben, sandwiches. Outside seating at some EStreets. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. BOJ. F Juice bar; certified organic fruits, vegetables. 500+ craft/import beers, 250 wines, organic produce, humanely raised meats, plus a deli, as well as raw items, vegan, vitamins, herbs. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS ASIAN STREET FARE, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. BOJ. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. Locally-owned, family-run bake shop; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S, 1509 Margaret, 674-2794. 7895 Normandy, 7817600. 8102 Blanding, 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., Ortega, 999-4600. F BOJ. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, ribs. Homestyle sides: green beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. Happy hour Mon.-Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE SHEIK, 7361 103rd St., 778-4805. 5172 Normandy Blvd., 786-7641. SEE ARLINGTON. SUN-RAY CINEMA, 1028 Park St., 359-0049. F Beer (Bold City, Intuition), wine, pizza, hot dogs, hummus, sandwiches, popcorn, nachos, brownies. $$ BW Daily SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside Ave., Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. Sushi variety: Monster Roll,

BITE-SIZED

Photos by Caron Streibich

LITTLE ITALY IN A STRIP MALL

Hearty portions, reasonable prices and friendly service abound in Fleming Island’s Santioni’s

F

rom the red-and-white-striped Fiat out front to the sprawling murals of the Italian countryside on the interior walls, Santioni’s is a marvelous strip mall find.

The space is meticulously clean and exudes a sense of calmness; soft music wafts gently through the air. Our waitress was polite and attentive, checking in often.

Yes, the menu is broad, but will surely appease all palates — veal piccata, rack of lamb, linguini with clam sauce, frutti di mare, lasagna, spaghetti carbonara, chicken scaloppini, as well as standbys like fettuccini alfredo and chicken parmesan.

Wanting one of everything, we settled on three items: lobster ravioli ($14.95), cavatelli with Bolognese ($12.95), and a small 12-inch pizza bianca ($9.95). Prices seemed reasonable and portions were hearty. Most dinner entrée items run $12.95 to $18.95.

Pasta is served with soup (minestrone or Italian wedding) or house salad. I upgraded to a Greek side salad ($1.50) and was impressed by the leafy Romaine (no lame iceberg lettuce here), feta cubes, pepperocinis, red onions and homemade vinaigrette dressing. We eagerly devoured the complimentary buttery baked rolls that arrived with our salads.

The piping-hot ravioli, drenched in a pink rosato sauce (think marinara meets cream), were perfect bite-sized pouches of flavorful lobster and cheese. The cavatelli — small, folded-over pasta pieces and meaty Bolognese — were topped with a sprinkle of fresh parsley,

which worked splendidly.

Our sauceless bianca pie was generously topped with ricotta, diced tomatoes, garlic, ribbons of basil and mozzarella. Its golden crust was both chewy and crisp, and held up well. We were thrilled to have leftover slices, which I must say were superb the next morning, cold and straight out of the box.

Santioni’s recently celebrated its second anniversary in Fleming Island. It’s closed on Mondays, and if you’re too busy to go inside the rest of the week, there’s the option to call ahead and grab your dinner to-go at the convenient pick-up window.

It was happy hour — two-for-one wine, beer and well drinks — so I took full advantage, ordering a pair of chiantis ($6 each). Cheers!

Caron Streibich biteclub@folioweekly.com facebook.com/folioweeklybitesized

SANTIONI’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 15, Fleming Island, 264-1331, santionisitalianrestaurant.com

NIBBLES Riverside’s BEER:30 has announced it will open a second area location in San Marco in 2015.

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 33

DINING DIRECTORY

Master shucker Alec Hurley shucks fresh Gulf Coast oysters all day long at Julington Creek Fish Camp in Mandarin. Photo: Dennis Ho Jimmy Smith Roll; faves Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F SEE BEACHES. AVILES, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277 F Hilton Bayfront.

Progressive European menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily CARMELO’S Marketplace & PizzeriA, 146 King St., 494-6658, carmelosmarketplace.com. F NY-style gourmet brick-ovenbaked pizza, fresh rolls, Boar’s Head meats, cheeses, garlic herb wings. Outdoor dining, Wi-Fi. $$ BW TO L D Daily CLAUDE’S CHOCOLATE, 6 Granada St., 829-5790. In The Market. Wine and chocolate pairings, soft-serve ice cream, coffee bar, fresh fruit ice pops, cookies. $$ TO THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridianstaug. com. Updated Southern fare; fresh ingredients. Vegetarian, glutenfree. Fried green tomato bruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F A mainstay for 25+ years, Gypsy’s menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily THE ICE PLANT BAR, 110 Riberia St., 829-6553, iceplantbar. com. Farm-to-table, locally sourced; hand-crafted drinks, house-made bitters, syrups. $$$ FB TO D Nightly MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PACIFIC ASIAN BISTRO, 159 Palencia Village Dr., Ste. 111, 808-1818, pacificasianbistro.com. F Chef Mas Lui creates 30+ sushi rolls; fresh sea scallops, Hawaiian-style poke tuna salad. Sake. $$-$$$ BW L D Daily SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. TEMPO, 16 Cathedral Place, 547-0240. Latin American fusion wine bar and restaurant offers traditional American fare with a Latin flair; sandwiches, too. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sun.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 4860 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1, 564-9494, bentocafesushi.com. Pan-Asian fare: wok stir-fry, fire-grilled, fresh ingredients, sushi bar. $$ K FB TO L D Daily MOXIE KITCHEN+COCKTAILS, 4972 Big Island Dr., 998-9744, moxiefl.com. BOJ. Chef Tom Gray does contemporary American cuisine – seafood, steaks, pork, burgers – locally sourced when possible. $$$ FB K L Mon.-Fri.; D Nightly M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic dishes: Pad Thai, curries, sashimi, fresh sushi, daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat. DICK’S WINGS, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

EUROPEAN STREET, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE.

FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, specialty drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily LA NOPALERA, 1631 Hendricks, 399-1768. F BOJ. SEE MANDARIN. MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/wine lists.

Happy hour Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner. com. F BOJ. Original upscale diner in ’30s-era building.

Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, homemade soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco, 399-8815. F SEE BAYMEADOWS. PULP, 1962 San Marco Blvd., 396-9222, pulpaddiction.com.

The juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees, 30 kinds of smoothies. $ TO B L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco, 398-3005, tavernasanmarco.com.

Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Regional craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

360° GRILLE, Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN. ALHAMBRA THEATRE & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. BENTO CAFE Asian Kitchen & Sushi, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11, 503-3238. SEE ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER. CASA MARIA, 14965 Old St. Augustine, 619-8186. SEE BEACHES DANCIN DRAGON, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. BOGO lunch. Asian fusion menu. $$ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA.

THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside, Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball.

Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. BOJ. SEE RIVERSIDE.

HZ CAFE, 6426 Bowden Rd., Ste. 206, 527-1078. Healthy concept cafe: juices, smoothies, traditional vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free meals and desserts. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. LARRY’S, 3611 St. Johns Bluff S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S Smokehouse BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. PAPI CHULO’S, 9726 Touchton Rd., Ste. 105, 329-1763, ilovepapichulos.com. This brand new Tinseltown restaurant offers fresh, simple, authentic Mexican street food, top-shelf tequilas, specialty drinks. Kids eat free. $$ K FB L D Daily SEVEN BRIDGES Grille & Brewery, 9735 Gate Pkwy., 997-1999, 7bridgesgrille.com. F Local seafood, steaks, pizzas. Brewer Aaron Nesbit handcrafts ales, lagers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, taverna yamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S Brick Oven Pizza, 4160 Southside, Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. New York-style thin crust, brick-oven-baked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pickup. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE VISCONDE’S Argentinian Grill, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 201, 379-3925. The area’s only Argentinian place. Traditional steaks, varieties of sausages, pasta, sandwiches, empañadas, wines. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 551-5929, worldofbeer.com. F Burgers, sliders,flatbreads, German pretzels, hummus, pickle chips. Craft German, Cali, Florida, Irish drafts. Wines. $$ BW L D Daily

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S SUBS, 12001 Lem Turner, 764-9999. SEE ORANGE PARK. SAVANNAH BISTRO, 14670 Duval Rd., 741-4404. F Low Country Southern fare, taste of Mediterranean and French.

Crowne Plaza Airport. Crab cakes, NY strip, she crab soup, mahi mahi. $$$ FB K B L D Daily THE SHEIK, 2708 N. Main St., 353-8181. SEE ARLINGTON. UPTOWN MARKET, 1303 Main St. N., 355-0734, uptown marketjax.com. Bite Club. Fresh quality fare; farm-to-table selections, daily specials. $$ BW TO B L Daily

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

ASTROLOGY

PET BEARS, HARPER LEE, TOOTH FAIRY, FRUIT SALAD & UNICYCLES ARIES (March 21-April 19): Lord Byron (1788-1824) was an English poet who loved animals. He had dogs, cats, monkeys, horses, peacocks, geese, a crocodile, a falcon, a crane, and a parrot as pets. When he enrolled in Trinity College at 17, the school’s rules forbade students from having pet dogs, which meant he couldn’t bring his adored Newfoundland dog Boatswain. There was no regulation, however, against having a tame bear as a pet, so Byron got one and named it Bruin. It’s time to find a workaround like that. Be cunning. Try a gambit. Find a loophole.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Whenever I lost one of my baby teeth as a kid, I put it under my pillow before I went to sleep. In the night, the Tooth Fairy sneaked into my room to take the tooth, and in its place left a shiny quarter. The same crazy thing happened to every kid I knew, though for unknown reasons my friend John got five bucks for each of his teeth – far more than the rest of us. I see a metaphorically comparable development in your life.

It may not involve teeth or the Tooth Fairy, but you’ll finally be compensated for a past loss, deprivation or disappearance. The generous restitution will be more like John’s than mine.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Even if you’re not formally enrolled in a course of study or a training program, you’re still being schooled.

Maybe you’re not fully conscious of what you’ve been learning. Maybe your teachers are disguised or unwitting.

The universe has been dropping some intense new knowledge on you. Next week is an excellent time to be more conscious of lessons you’ve been absorbing. If you have an inkling about where this educational drama should go next, make it happen.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You now have a special ability to detect transformations happening below the threshold of everyone else’s awareness. Anything hidden or unknown will reveal itself to your gentle probes. You’ll also be skilled at communicating discoveries to those important to you. Take full advantage of these superpowers. Don’t underestimate how pivotal a role you can play as teacher, guide and catalyst. The future success of your collaborative efforts depends on your next moves.

Overset for the web FIRST, DO HARM

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Through the In November, according to the deputy police scientific magic of grafting, a single tree can be commissioner in Calcutta, India, a group of altered to grow several different kinds of fruit student doctors at Nilratan Sarkar Medical at the same time. One type of “fruit salad tree” produces College cornered, beat, maimed and eventually apricots, nectarines, plums and peaches, another bears killed a man they suspected of rummaging grapefruits, lemons, oranges, limes and tangelos. This through their belongings and stealing their may be an apt and inspiring symbol in the months mobile phones. The incident followed a series ahead. What multiple blooms will you create on your of phone and laptop thefts, and some of the metaphorical fruit salad tree? enraged medical students slashed the man’s genitals before leaving him to die.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): No other structure on Earth is longer than the Great Wall of China, which stretches 3,945 miles. It’s not really one Despite a 70-year-old U.S. Supreme Court unbroken span, though. Some sections aren’t connected, decision to the contrary, six states still have and there are redundant branches roughly parallel to laws exempting parents from homicide charges the main structure. It reminds me of your Great Wall: when they deny a child life-saving medical care monumental yet permeable, some ways strong, some because they trust no remedy except prayer. ways weak, daunting to a casual observer but not to Even among those states, all the deaths since those who study it. Take inventory of your wall. Is it 1994 under those circumstances have been in serving you well? Keeping out influences you don’t want Idaho, where (according to a November report but letting in those you do? Need renovation? Are you

by Vocativ.com) no prosecutor seems willing to willing to reimagine its purpose and how you want it to put a trust-in-God parent before a jury. Children work in the future?

HEAL? HELL NO

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Harper Lee was born and raised in Alabama. At 23, she relocated to New York City, hoping to become a survive. writer. It was a struggle. To support herself, she worked as a ticket agent for airline companies. Finding time to develop her craft was tough. Seven years went by. Then Arrested recently, waiting trial for murder: Jason one Christmas, two friends gave her a remarkable gift: Wayne Autry, Holladay, Tenn., April; Dennis enough money to quit her job and work on her writing Wayne Brooks, Robertsville, Mo., Nov.; Jimmy for a year. During that grace period, Lee created the Wayne Estes, Charlotte, N.C., June; Jestin Wayne basics for a book that won her a Pulitzer Prize: To Kill a Hooker, Lubbock, Texas, July; Walter Wayne Mockingbird. I don’t foresee anything quite as dramatic Howard, Portland, Ore., Nov., for 1988 cold case; for you in the months ahead, but you’ll get unexpected John Wayne Mackay, James City County, Va., help, giving you the slack and spaciousness you need to indicted Jan.; Thomas Wayne Martin, Huntsville, lay a foundation for a creation.

WORLD OF WAYNES

Ala., indicted Nov. Convicted of murder: Allen Wayne Densen Morgan, Munford, Ala., June; (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the ancient DarrellCAPRICORN Wayne Frederick, Oklahoma County, Greek epic poem The Odyssey, Odysseus’s Okla., Nov. Sentenced for murder, Sydney, wife Penelope describes two kinds of dreams.

Australia: Gregory Wayne Hill, June; Stephen “Those that that pass through the gate of ivory,” she Wayne Jamieson, Nov. Execution for murder says, are deceptive. But dreams that “come forth through imminent, pending clemency hearing: Robert the gate of polished horn” tell the truth. Another ancient Wayne Holsey, Baldwin County, Ga.; Nov.

text echoes these ideas. In his poem The Aeneid, Virgil Chuck Shepherd writes “true visions” arrive here from the land of dreams WeirdNews@earthlink.net through the gate of horn, whereas “deluding lies” cross over through the gate of ivory. You’ll have interesting, intense dreams flowing through both gates. Will you be able to tell the difference? Trust love.

in Idaho have died when simple medical treatments were available (e.g., insulin and fluids LEOI (July 23-Aug. 22): The Arctic Monkeys AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your chances of for Type diabetes).

Neighboring Oregon, by are British rockers who have produced fi ve going viral are better than usual. It’s a perfect contrast, now vigorously prosecutes parents who studio albums, which in total sold almost fi ve moment to upload a YouTube video of you let their children die, including a 13-year-old million Rolling Stone magazine called their first wearing a crown of black roses and a V for Vendetta mask girl’scopies. parents convicted in November in Albany. album, released in 2003, the 30th greatest debut of all time. Yet when they formed in 2002, none could play a musical instrument. Right now, your life has a similar Police in Murfreesboro, North Carolina, potential. How might you start from scratch to create announced in November they intercepted a something great?

DOG WEED

shipment of 30 pounds of marijuana that was loosely packaged and shipped from California VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Alan Turing through the U.S. Postal Service; an investigation (1912-’54) was a British mathematician and was underway with arrests expected. Police computer scientist. When WWII Chiefpioneering Darrell Rowe told WTKR-TV the scent of broke out, he worried the German army might invade and the packages was so strong that, even though he occupy England, as it had done in France. To protect his summoned the department’s K-9 unit, “the dog financial assets, he converted everything he owned into kind of looked at us [as if to say], ‘Do you really silver bars, burying them underground in the countryside need me for this?’” north of London. When the war ended, he decided it was safe to dig up his fortune. Unfortunately, he couldn’t recall where he’d put it, and never did find it. Learn a Most recent drunk driver to hit a pedestrian, lesson from this. It’s OK if you want to stash a treasure, lodge the victim’s body in the windshield protect a secret or safeguard a resource. That’s sensible. and drive on, seemingly oblivious: Marcos Remember every detail of why and how you’re doing it.

HOLD MY BEER, OCCIFER

Ortega, 33, in Ocean Township, New Jersey, in November; the 66-year-old victim did not

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

as you ride a unicycle in a church and sing an up-tempo parody version of “O Come All Ye Faithful.” It’s also a favorable time to create a buzz for your pet causes through less spectacular measures. Promote imaginatively.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): At age 80, author Joan Didion has published five novels, 10 works of non-fiction and five screenplays. When she was 27, she wrote, “I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be.” That wasn’t a good thing, she added: “We are well-advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends.”

Get reacquainted with the old selves you’ve outgrown and abandoned.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

TMI

Kansas lawyer Dennis Hawver was disbarred in November for his comically bad (24 separate deficiencies) defense of double-murder suspect Phillip Cheatham in 2005 (Cheatham got a new trial). Hawver admitted to the jury his client was a “shooter of people” (a previous manslaughter conviction) who, as an “experience[d]” criminal would never have left that third victim alive with gunshot wounds. A confident Hawver had virtually invited the jury to execute “whoever” the killer was. At a September hearing to keep his license, he dressed as Thomas Jefferson, banged the lectern and shouted, as reverse psychology, “I am incompetent!” — leading the blog Lowering the Bar to muse that by then, the argument was wholly unnecessary. Cheatham told the Topeka Capital-Journal Hawver is “a good dude [but] just in over his head.”

NAMES IN THE NEWS

Arrested in November in Gainesville, Florida, on sexual assault charges but exonerated three days later when accuser Jeremy Foster was caught lying: Mr. Phuc Kieu, 58. Arrested in October for burglary of a Kohl’s department store in Alhambra, California: Ms. Josephine Crook, 49. Arrested in October, charged with stabbing two men in Regina, Saskatchewan: Ms. Danielle Knife, 24. Charged in Mississauga, Ontario, in October with sexually assaulting three male patients: psychologist Dr. Vincent Hung Lo.

THE CREATIVE CLASS

To spark interest in the new leisure center opening in spring 2015 in Selby in North Yorkshire, England, the management company WLCT sponsored a contest to name the center, with the prize a year’s free membership. On Nov. 5, General Manager Paul Hirst announced Steve Wadsworth was the winner, proclaiming, “Well done to Steve on winning the competition.” The winning entry: “Selby Leisure Centre.”

SCARY ’BAMA SCHOOLS

In October, a mother charged that officials at

E.R. Dickson School in Mobile, Alabama, first detained her daughter, 5, for pointing a crayon at student as if it were a gun, then pressured the girl to sign a paper promising not to kill anyone or commit suicide. “What is suicide, Mommy?” the girl asked when her parents arrived.

AIM … FIRE! OOPSIE

A West Briton newspaper reported in October that a darts team, composed of blind men, was ready for its inaugural match at an inn in Grampound, England, sponsored by St. Austell Bay Rotary Club. The inn’s landlord acknowledged the game-room door would be closed “just in case” a dart strays off course. The blind darters would be aided by string attached to the bull’s eye that they could feel for guidance.

SO NOT FUNNY

Twice in September, police in North Kingstown, Rhode Island, reported women reported a motorist who stopped female strangers on the street to tell them jokes about blond women. The jokes weren’t sexual, but still made the women “uncomfortable.” A high school girl told her mother of a similar episode. Based on a license plate number, police visited the man at home, and he agreed to stop.

NOT TONIGHT, I’VE GOT A KNIFE

In some countries, a sex “strike” organized by women is often the only tactic to convince husbands and lovers to take grievances seriously.

In November, Mr. Nderitu Njoka, head of a Global Men Empowerment Network in Nairobi, Kenya, announced his organization would begin a “sex boycott” for five days, denying men’s “services” to their wives — to protest “tyrannical” female domination. According to Njoka, hundreds of Kenyan men are physically assaulted by women every year (including at least 100 whose wives vengefully castrate them).

Referring to a notorious U.S. incident, Njoka offered support to the singer Jay Z after he was punched by his sister-in-law Solange Knowles.

Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net

HELLO, YOUNG LOVERS (aka ISU writers): The limit for ISU notices is 40 words ONLY.

No messages with more than 40 words will be accepted. Please keep your message short & sweet. Thanks!

MISSING TOOTH GIRL You: Attractive girl, purple dress, missing a front teeth.

Me: Handsome devil, orange tank top. I commented I liked your gap before I realized it was a missing tooth. Let’s hop back, get a fountain drink together? When: Dec. 4. Where: Kangaroo San Pablo. #1429-1210 LIBRARY LOOKER There was nothing spooky about you staring at me, the redhead, on Halloween from Deerwood library check-out line. Tall guy in jeans, what would’ve happened had I held your lengthy stare? Let me know. When: 11:30 a.m. Oct. 31.

Where: Southeast Regional Library. #1428-1203 CAN’T GET U OUTTA MY MIND ISU at hospital visit; made my heart pump fast. You: prettiest nurse in white and blue; finest shape, lips, hips, face. If you were mine, I’d hold you in my arms, treat you like a queen.

When: Nov. 26. Where: St. Vincent’s Hosp. #1427-1203 LOML – SKY OCEAN GALAXY Handsome professional, great shoulders and electrifying smile wearing a tie. All others hands-off! When: Nov. 23.

Where: Southside. #1426-1203 HANDSOME DOG LOVER AT INTUITION You: Handsome man in orange shirt with lots of friends. Me: Short, green-eyed brunette, blue shirt. You asked about my dog, white German shepherd, seemed to like you. Single?

Meet at Intuition 11/28, same time? When: Nov. 21. Where: Intuition Ale Works. #1425-1126 YOU DIDN’T LEAVE! We stared across bar, like we knew it was beginning of deepest connection, friendship, and love we’d ever know.

Haven’t left... Slainte! kanpai! Drink your Dirty Girl Scout.

Here’s to finding each other again. Really like you! When: April 2011. Where: Bomba’s. #1424-1126 CUTIE ON A SUZUKI You: Stylish, curly-haired cutie on Suzuki cafe racer. Me: Raven-haired lass, gray VW Jetta. Sipped coffee at light, turning on Riverside. Looked left, noticed Suzuki. Liked your shoes, style, dirty-blonde locks under helmet. Meet for drink? When: Nov. 12. Where: Riverside Ave. #1423-1119 BEARDED HOTTIE, SILVER FORD You: Behind me on 95N from Baymeadows to I-10 interchange on 11/4 at 3 p.m.; Nassau tag, dark beard, ball cap, amazing smile. Me: Brown SUV. Can’t get you out of my mind. Can we meet? When: Nov. 4, 3 p.m. Where: Baymeadows & I-95. #1422-1112 I SAW U Connection Made!

PULLING FOR ORIOLES You: Cranberry shirt, said to me, “I was pulling for them” referring to my Orioles T-shirt. Me: Orioles T-shirt, I said “Yeah” and kept walking. Wish I would have started a conversation. Let’s talk! When: Oct. 26.

Where: Publix on Hodges. #1421-1105 RUNNING SHIRTLESS You: It was around 6:20, you were running through Memorial Park. Caught me checking you out. Me: Wearing the blue shirt. We smiled, I watched you run off – quite a sight. We need to run together. When: Oct. 22. Where: Memorial Park. #1420-1029 DARK CHOCOLATE POM I came in for a few things. You had one in your bathroom.

Something rang up wrong. Offered you chocolate, you told me I was sweet. You seemed earthy. Wonder if you’d like to grab coffee/tea sometime. When: Oct. 21. Where: Your Work, Ponte Vedra Beach. #1419-1029 LOOKING FOR ME? You: Taco Tuesday, brunette, blue top, shorts, black flats. Saw you in line looking back. Caught each others gaze too long.

Me: Blue button up, gray slacks. You met with guy, didn’t

seem into him. Wanna see if I’m more interesting? When: Oct. 14. Where: Tijuana Flats, Baymeadows. #1418-1022 INSTANT CONNECTION You: Tall, Purple hair, BRS shamrock on the back of your neck, wearing Capris, flip flops. Me: Short, dark curly hair, also wearing Capris, flip flops. You gave me a cigarette, I gave you my life story. When: Sept. 1, 2012. Where: Kristin’s House. #1417-1015 HUSKY SEMINOLES HUNK You: FSU shirt, name starts with S. Sloppy drunk & jolly. Me: Thick woman, Cornhuskers shirt. You loved my curly hair; let me rub your belly :) Bono’s unlimited BBQ rib night on Gate Parkway 7 p.m.? When: Oct. 4. Where: Kickbacks, Riverside. #1416-1008 SHORT-HAIRED BRUNETTE You: Short brown hair, sitting next to an older lady. You were with a party sitting by the door. I ended up talking to your friend but not you. Me: Black dress with dark hair at the bar.

When: Sept. 27. Where: Hamburger Mary’s. #1415-1008 SO SWEET, BOUGHT TEA You: Tanned, green sunglasses, white SUV, motorcycle, OTW to pick up daughter. Me: Crazy spinner girl, parched, much appreciative of tea you bought. See you almost daily. Got your name, should’ve gotten number. A drink sometime? When: Sept. 27. Where: Monument/McCormick McD’s. #1414-1001

© 2014

ROGUE MEN You helped me with ring toss. Stood really close. Had to run, had friends waiting. Wish I’d gotten your name and number!

When: Sept. 7. Where: Dive Bar. #1413-1001 BEARD MAGIC You: Jet-black hair, green eyes, sexy red Fiat 500. You said my beard had magical powers. Me: Colorful tats, magical beard, Donkey Bong shirt. I gave you my toast and you promised a date. When and where? When: Sept. 15. Where: Brew 5 Points. #1412-1001 BARISTA WITH DEVILED EGGS You: Starbucks Barista. Handed me deviled egg, drew a heart on my vanilla milk. Never knew what I loved about this old coffee shop. Close your tally with a herringbone? Love to read newspapers – as your girlfriend. When: Aug. 14. Where: Southside/Baymeadows Starbucks. #1411-0924 SAUSAGE CUTIE You: Fast-talking Penguin shirt guy, recently out of jail; said three months in jail builds character. Me: Tall, jet-black hair, way-too-short dress. I asked if you knew I wasn’t wearing panties; you joked about sausage size on pizza. Pizza soon? When: Sept. 17. Where: Avondale Mellow Mushroom. #1410-0924 BLACK GUY, ORANGE SHIRT, BOOTS You: Handsome, dark skin, orange shirt, behind me in WalMart money center line, 2 p.m. Me: Tall, curvy, tattooed blonde talking to couple ahead of you. Too shy to stay, thought I saw you looking. Meet? When: Sept. 12. Where: Kingsland Walmart. #1409-0917 COFFEE HOTTIE You: Hottest girl at Bold Bean, skintight Lululemons, bedhead and full-sleeve Molly Hatchet tattoo. You caught my glance waiting for latte. Me: Still drunk from last night, looking fine in Jesus Is The Shit shirt. We MUST meet. When: Sept. 10.

Where: Bold Bean. #1408-0917 HOT BLONDE @ UPS STORE You: Girl at Claire Lane/San Jose Boulevard UPS store. Me: Handsome Latino courier who comes in twice a month to pick up a customer’s mail. You know who I am. If single, wanna chat? When: Sept. 8. Where: UPS Store. #1407-0917

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37

FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

Shades of John D. MacDonald

81 83 85 88 90 93 95 96 97

Here’s an oldie but goodie. It’s the semicentennial of the first Travis McGee detective novel (103 Across). MacDonald wrote 21 books about his famous sleuth – enough for a colorful and symmetrical trail to follow.

1 5 11 16 17 18 20 21 22 23 24 25 27 28 30 32 33 36 37 40 41 43 44 45 47 51 52 55 57 59 60 63 65 69 71 73 74 75 76 78 79 1

ACROSS

Bennett of publishing Landlord Darker Than ___ Snack in a stack Place The ___ Ruse Nutmeggy spice Topiary dogs? ___ Skin Greek letter Saarinen and Salonen The Dreadful ___ Sky Elite roster Theater shout One Fearful ___ Eye Maturing agent Tucson shrub A Deadly Shade of ___ Goes back and forth Labwork Pale ___ for Guilt Jelly container York and Snorkel: abbr.

The Lonely ___ Rain Home of many talk shows Long time A ___ Place for Dying Cartoon explosion Mentalist’s claim Torte topper A ___ and Sandy Silence Actor Wilde Indeterminate state Busy island, circa 1900 The ___ Lament Eye-catching works?

Have a negative reaction Vonnegut’s Kilgore et al.

The Quick ___ Fox Parking garage arrow Prank 2

3

101 103 106 108 109 111 112 114 115 118 119 121 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 17 18 19

4 17

20

21

23

6

7

8

30

40

41

35

T E E T H

A C H I E S T

D R I L L E R

M O D E S T

R I S O T T O

M Y S K I N I V E G O T Y O U

70

86

87

61

93

80 88

94

101

62

127

O M E N S A U N T I E S

11

A V E R T S

12

L A B E L L E

A L A R M

S I S

O R E D O C E S O M L I N A G O S O N D E A S T A H E E L P I E C S C O O T T

13

A T R W A T O L R E A G N G A E S N E T G A Z E S N Y E P S A B I S O N A R S G A E X C T A B

14

S I T T I N G T H E W O R L D

W H E N A

S T E E L I E

T E R C E L

A B O N E T O

N O W O P E N

E M P T Y

T O T E S

27

38

48

50

56

57

63

39

44

49

64

58 66

67

68

73 76

77

82 90

83 91

106 110

114

98

107 111

115 116 117 121

122

118 123

125

126

128

129

38 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014

AFRICA, BRAZIL WORK/STUDY! Change the lives of others and create a sustainable future. 1, 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply now! Visit Oneworldcenter.org. 269-5910518. info@OneWorldCenter.org.

PHONE ACTRESSES FROM HOME Must have dedicated land line and great voice. 21+ Up to $18 per hour. Flex hrs/ most wknds. 1-800-403-7772, Lipservice.net $1,000 WEEKLY!! MAILING BROCHURES From Home. Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine Opportunity. No Experience required. Start Immediately. www.mailingmembers.com

HOUSING WANTED ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Lonely? Bored? Broke?

Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at Roommates.com!

FULLY FURNISHED 1 BEDROOM APARTMENT All utilities included – lights, water and gas. Kitchen and snack bar.

Hardwood floors. Shower/bath. $175/week or $700/month plus deposit. Contact hours 9am-6pm. Contact (904) 866-1850.

DOWNTOWN EFFICIENCIES AND ROOMS All utilities included – lights, water, gas. Kitchenette. Snack bar. Shower, bath, and a deck. $125/week and up. Contact 9am-6pm only.

(904) 866-1850.

ADOPTION PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293.

SEE WHAT’S NEW Devi’s Closet Authentic Designer Clothes, Accessories and Home Goods. Just in time for the holidays. Gucci, Tiffany & Co, Prada, Chanel and more.

FELICIASBEAUTYSECRETS.COM or contact 904-210-9009.

LOSE FAT, INCREASE ENERGY with our special formula used by super athletes. www.healthalert.biz

FOR SALE KILL BED BUGS! Buy Harris Bed Bug Killer Complete Treatment Program/ Kit. (Harris Mattress Covers add extra protection).

Available hardware stores; buy online homedepot.com

VEHICLES WANTED

84

97

103 104 105 109

78

92

96

FULL TIME BOOTH RENTAL Blow Out Hair & Color Specialists Studio seeks a full time talented, experienced hair stylist with existing clientele to become part of our team! Contact Marcy Denney at 904-384-5605 or contact@blowouthairstudio.com

GET FAST, PRIVATE STD TESTING. Results in 3 DAYS! Now accepting insurance. Call toll free: 855-787-2108 (Daily 6am-10pm CT)

51

65

HELP WANTED

HEALTH & BEAUTY

15 19

43

81

108

124

A T T

T H E B E L T H I T S

37

95

120

R G O O S T A H R S I J E T A S E D R E S S E E A B R B L C Y

A G R S A Y R O I S A S N A A D C A U T U T L H U E R A E R S T T S

72

102

119

A T R E E

T R Y

26

89

112 113

G E T I T

10

75 79

S O U L S

32

47

71

74

G A I L Y

36

55 60

O R B E L O O L A I N O S S T S E P P I S N T H E A G M A P S S

42

54

69

L O G I C

31

46

59

80 Man’s man of Hollywood 82 Biol., e.g.

84 Made a profit of 85 Kitchen shortening?

86 Alias abbr.

87 Brand name of AZT 89 Rustic dads 91 ___ spree 92 Parcel: abbr.

94 Corresponding request?

96 Cribbage marker 98 Mighty mad 99 Jeté action 100 “Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but ___ of humor” (Mark Twain) 102 Hans Christian Andersen’s birth city 103 Street pal 104 Sheriff 105 Not pleasant 107 They’re lionized 109 Hockey great 110 Upright 112 Utah’s cap.

113 Actress Helgenberger 114 Crenshaw or Hogan 116 War of 1812 lake 117 German river 120 Nutty Knotts 122 Flagstaff sch.

123 KY-born prez

Solution to Advanced Placement Test (12/03/14)

A D A M S

25

34

53

Moon jumper Dig discovery 1960s style Heated pool?

Luxor’s land: abbr.

Eagle’s home France’s 200 mph train Before, once Pitiful It replaced GATT PIN kin Critter craft Hoffa, formally Allow “But enough ___ ...”

Gloomy Rice-a-___ 1993 accord city December desserts Bruins’ home, briefly Depend Clear of guilt Castle in the air Try: abbr.

Consumed slowly Boo Radley’s creator Skirt type Ship’s lockup Good name for a mechanic?

70 Daytime drama 72 Cruise job?

77 Sherbet scoop

22

29

45

9

22 24 26 29 31 32 34 35 37 38 39 42 43 46 47 48 49 50 52 53 54 56 58 61 62 64 66 67 68

18

33

85

DOWN

Rental-car option Editing evidence Tells in detail Opponent Zebra chaser Thames town Full of foam Italian nickname Verdi opera Scalp, perhaps TV ratings co.: abbr.

Get by Sans support?

Town 20 miles NW of Phoenix Early cars Dick’s pick Revival-tent topic 55 Across cause

24

28

52

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

Snail trails Dress Her in ___ Road covering Tahitian port The Empty ___ Sea Distort Spoiled Nightmare in ___ Elon Musk’s car company Walks a beat The Deep ___ Good-by Perturbs Go by shuttle Bright ___ for the Shroud Belittle Struck The Girl in the Plain ___ Wrapper Upgrade (the lawn) Copy The Long ___ Look Feldspar, e.g.

Cannes comrade Free Fall in ___ Ornamental shrubs Car pioneer The ___ Ripper Grammar gender Brink

5

16

SOUTHSIDE

99

100

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808. www.cash4car.com

PARTY RENTALS RENT OUR SPACE FOR YOUR NEXT EVENT! LOWER RATES THROUGH END OF JANUARY 2015. Special rental rates for available dates through the end of January 2015: Mon., Tue., Wed., Thur. $300 (for seven hours); Fri., Sun. $800 (from 9AM-1AM next day); Sat. $1,000 (from 9AM-1AM next day).

Contact (904) 396-2905 or Sandy at (904) 396-0459.

PARTY SUPPLIES - RENTALS We provide supplies for your party or social activities: tables, chairs, tents, bouncing houses,

and concessions (popcorn machine, snow cone machine, cotton candy machine). Visit www.mostachonllc.com

CHAT LINES ¿Hablas Español? HOT LATINO CHAT Call Fonochat now & in seconds you can be speaking to HOT Hispanic singles in your area.Try FREE! 1-800-416-3809.

FEEL THE VIBE! HOT BLACK CHAT NOW. Urban women and men ready to MAKE THE CONNECTION. Call singles in your area! Try FREE! Call 1-800-305-9164.

WHERE LOCAL GIRLS GO WILD! Hot, Live, Real, Discreet!

Uncensored live 1-on-1 HOT phone Chat. Calls in YOUR city!

Try FREE! Call 1-800-261-4097.

CURIOUS ABOUT MEN? Talk Discreetly with men like you!

Try FREE! Call 1-888-779-2789. www.guyspy.com

EVENTS AND NOTICES FARM LIFE FOUNDATION PRESENTS THE MAIN EVENT 2014 “A NIGHT TO REMEMBER” Distinguished Venue: The Alfred I. duPont Riverfront Mansion Epping Forest Yacht Club, 830 Epping Forest Dr., Jacksonville, 739-7200, Dec. 7. Your evening begins at 5:30 p.m. $150 donation per person. Tickets available online: FarmLifeFDN.org.

Once in a lifetime, an event so specially crafted, planned and designed becomes a gift to the community. Farm Life Foundation will give a portion of net proceeds from The Main Event Fundraiser to GMO Free Florida Org. and Equality Florida Org. Together Everyone Achieves More.

CUSTOMER SERVICE AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students.

Housing and Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance, 844-210-3935.

BACKPAGE EDITORIAL

THE CASE FOR BODY CAMERAS

A local attorney argues that the cops need to be more closely monitored

A

family walks into our office. The eyes looking at me are tired and full of tears.

The brows are heavy. They want answers.

They want to understand how their loved one can now be dead.

This happens several times a year in my office. Lately, I have seen an uptick in families who lost someone to the bullet of a police officer. Despite crime being down nationally, police-caused fatalities have significantly increased [Editor’s Note, “Ferguson, Goddamn,” Jeffrey C. Billman, Dec. 3].

I was a criminal justice major and once considered an FBI career when I was in college. Instead, I became a lawyer. I respect the rule of law and hold the sanctity of life sacred. I have the utmost respect for the work that the men and women in state and federal policing do. However, we all have encountered people who are having a bad day, making a bad decision, or who are simply reckless, and statistics show the police might need policing.

According to Florida law, a law enforcement officer may use force that he or she reasonably believes is necessary to defend himself or herself or another from bodily harm while making an arrest. That subjective and broad standard has led to some staggering statistics. According to a Miami reporter who spent many months investigating, police “justifiably” killed 574 people from 1999 to 2013 in Florida alone — 41 people per year on average. The Miami-Dade Police Department had the largest number, with 70 reported justified homicides, followed by the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office with 42 cases.

Both reported more fatal shootings per capita than any other law enforcement agency in the state, and lead many major cities per capita.

According to The New York Times, during the past 20 years, not one single officer has been charged in Florida with using unjustified deadly force in a police-involved fatality.

(The Times relied on the Miami-Dade state attorney’s office for these data.)

So are we to conclude that every single fatal police shooting was appropriate and no Florida police officer has ever used excessive force? That is a statistical impossibility.

Making matters worse, these data are vastly unreliable and underreported. When

an officer shoots someone, the agency’s homicide detectives investigate the shooting.

Sometimes, it doesn’t even make it on the local news. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement can, but does not always, look over the local agency’s shoulder. The prosecutors depend on these officers to prosecute and win cases, and many officers are often witnesses in pending cases, so the standard for prosecution is different. It’s complicated, to say the least. Some might say it is simply dangerous.

Just this year, we have seen allegations of a JSO officer brandishing a gun over an argument about a parking space [News, “Nothing to See Here, Move Along,” Derek Kinner, Nov. 5]; seen a JSO officer fire upon a vehicle thinking the person had a gun (but quickly realizing he was wrong), which stemmed from the officer being suspicious because the father was rushing home to get his child an asthma treatment; and we’ve seen a routine JSO traffic stop result in an officer taking a life. Two of those cases are part my office’s caseload.

We urge the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office to institute the use of body cameras and microphones. Police departments in Los Angeles, New Orleans and Las Vegas are testing the technology. The New York Times cites studies showing a dramatic turnaround in use-of-force issues and complaints. These recording devices reduce the number of confrontations and keep police aware that Big Brother is always watching, well, Big Brother. Evidence from other studies seems to reinforce the notion that body cameras encourage good behavior all around. Most important, body cameras will provide answers to grieving families.

We urge the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office, the City Council, Mayor Alvin Brown, Florida Legislature and the public at large to join this discussion. Whether department-wide or as a means to selectively monitor inexperienced officers or officers with histories, this technology needs to come to Jacksonville. Our city deserves it. Leading the nation in police homicides is not a statistic to be proud of.

John Phillips Attorney-at-law

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be no more than 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to mail@folioweekly.com. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

DECEMBER 10-16, 2014 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39

40 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | DECEMBER 10-16, 2014