Folio Weekly 06/17/15

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P. 9

Tyler Shields’ recent work sparks outrage and conversation

P. 10

Is Medicaid expansion a handout or a leg up?

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Dinosaur franchise hopefully headed for Ice Age


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THIS WEEK // 6.17-6.23.15 // VOL. 29 ISSUE 12 COVER STORY

PENSION HERO

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BY SUSAN COOPER EASTMAN

Beware Elected Fiduciary Foes! Council Gadfly and PENSION HERO Curtis Lee is out to save Jacksonville from irresponsible spending and impending financial ruin.

FEATURED ARTICLES

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STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

BY CLAIRE GOFORTH Is MEDICAID EXPANSION a handout or a leg up?

BY KARA POUND Current CUMMER exhibit is a profound meditation in history, heritage, and freedom.

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SONIC DEATH

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BY BRENTON CROZIER Local neo-psych heads MOTHER SUPERIOR offer an uneven yet worthwhile release.

COLUMNS + CALENDARS FROM THE EDITOR 4 THE SPRAWL 5 BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS 6 FIGHTIN’ WORDS 8 NEWS 9 OUR PICKS 16

FILM MAGIC LANTERNS ARTS MUSIC THE KNIFE DINING DIRECTORY

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FROM THE EDITOR

FLORIDA: THE PERFECT CLIMATE FOR ANTIPATHY IT’S BEEN NEARLY THREE YEARS since CalBerkeley psychologists Paul Piff and Dacher Keltner published their research on what has come to be called the wealth-empathy gap. Their studies provided some of the first scientific evidence that the appropriate caricature of the upper class may be more Montgomery Burns than Thurston Howell III. To review, Piff and Keltner conducted multiple studies to find out if social class (as measured by occupational prestige, wealth, and education) effects how much people care about the feelings of others. They found that wealthy individuals were less likely to consider the needs of others or feel compassion for those who may be sick or poor, and they are more likely to agree that greed is justified, beneficial, and morally defensible. If Piff and Keltner were looking to test their findings in a qualitative study, the Florida legislature may be a good candidate for their next inquiry. To begin with, on April 28, the powerful lawmakers in the Republican-dominated house adjourned three days early with bills related to water policy, tax cuts, low-cost healthcare and expanded services for children with disabilities still on the table. At the center of the quagmire was a budget impasse over how to pay for the healthcare of the state’s lowincome, uninsured residents. Governor and apathetic-millionaire Rick Scott dug his heels in, thwarting the federal government’s attempts to provide Medicaid support to insure hundreds of thousands of low-income, working Floridians. After returning for a special session last week, the house swiftly voted down a Senate plan to draw down on the federal Medicaid money.

However, though they decided to deny healthcare to their less-fortunate constituents, just days later, house Republicans did advocate for those “in need.” Only minutes into a budget meeting on June 8, representative Clay Ingram (R, District 1) presented a plan to increase funding for Enterprise Florida — the Gov. Scott-supported public-private partnership intended to entice national businesses to expand to the Florida marketplace. What’s wrong with putting tax dollars toward economic development? Facing the very real possibility of shuttering of some of the state’s most important hospitals, Gov. Scott insisted on heavy scrutiny of the financial operations of facilities that are most reliant on federal Medicaid dollars — such as UF Health Jax. As a fiscal conservative, inquiry regarding responsible, accountable spending is de rigueur. So, it seems dubious that such inquiry has not befallen Enterprise Florida. Let’s take a look, shall we? As reported by Orlando Weekly, the same week that lawmakers were advocating on behalf $5 million marketing budget for Enterprise Florida, the business-friendly group retired a two-year-old epic failure of a media campaign, “Florida: The perfect climate for business.” The campaign’s sexist logo featured the word Florida with a man’s necktie replacing the “i.” At a cost of $380,000, the now-defunct campaign targeted everyone except the estimated 7.8 million women business owners across the United States (at least the ones who do not regularly sport Windsor knots). Florida lawmakers eventually compromised on a $5 million increase to help Enterprise Florida reel in the rich and powerful; obviously, the health of the workers those business owners would employ is of little concern. Social scientists looking for evidence of a wealth-empathy gap, I present to you exhibit A: The Florida legislature. Greed: check. A lack of compassion for those less fortunate: check. Lack of consideration for the needs of others: Well, I suppose Piff and Keltner never qualified whether corporate welfare counts. Matthew B. Shaw mshaw@folioweekly.com twitter/matthew_b_shaw

4 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015


THE MAIL NOWHERE IN CHAZ BÄCK’S HAND WRINGING over the arts in this fair city [“Offense Sitters,” May 27] was there a mention of the matter of desecration of Christian symbols. Using a National Endowment for the Arts award, Andres Serrano took a photograph of a crucifix immersed in a beaker of his urine. (Was there something special about his urine?) The Brooklyn Museum displayed Chris Ofili’s painting of The Blessed Virgin Mary using elephant dung. When Mayor Rudi Giuliani objected to it being shown in a publically funded facility, New York senator Hillary Clinton and Susan Sarandon screamed about artistic freedom, saying that it wasn’t unusual in Africa but this isn’t Africa. Alma Lopez concocted a picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe festooned only in a flower bikini. It was displayed in a Santa Fe publically funded museum and Bishop James Sheehan objected. Was he supposed to say nothing? She meant it as some kind of statement on capitalistic exploitation. (As an aside, was the income Lopez received from her “art” capitalistic exploitation?) Mr. Bäck, what did you expect with government subsidies of a venue like the Museum of Contemporary Art? Do you not know the famous (infamous?) Supreme Court Wickard vs.

THE SPRAWL RADICAL RABBIS

Filburn decision? It states “It is hardly lack of due process for the government to regulate that which it subsidizes.” That’s how socialism works. Government can place any restrictions on anything it funds and it becomes political. If you don’t like the reaction, don’t accept the money. Were these examples of “unvarnished truth” or merely sophomoric sacrilege? In this free country, if some misanthropic moron wants to vomit on a creche or urinate on a statue of The Blessed Virgin Mary and can get some other miscreant cretins to pay to watch, I guess I’ll have to cut him the slack and let him do it, resisting, for the time being, the urge to punch the sacrilegious slob in the mouth but, excuse me oh Mr. Bäck, if I don’t want anyone doing it on my tax dollar or in a venue it supports. How about holding that mirror up to your arts community, Mr Bäck? Roderick T. Beaman via email If you would like to respond to something that appeared in the pages of Folio Weekly, please send an email (with your name, address and phone number for verification purposes only) to mail@folioweekly.com.

News + Notes from across Northeast Florida

THE PHOTOGRAPHS SHOW A WHITE MAN pouring a liquid, said to be muriatic acid, into a pool as a young black woman screams and clutches onto a young white man; other swimmers stare over their shoulders as the scene unfolds. The photograph, taken by Horace Cort on June 18, 1964, shocked the nation; many had not realized to what the depths some had sunk to keep whites and blacks separated. President Lyndon B. Johnson had no choice but to address the situation. The following day, the Senate passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Within two weeks, the president signed it into law. A civil rights movement based out of St. Augustine, in part led by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., hosted one of the most important battalions that would march the Civil Rights Act into law. This part of the story is wellknown to Civil Rights historians and those who braved those turbulent waters firsthand. What is less known is how the largest mass arrest of Jewish rabbis was an integral part of the planned swim. Dr. King and a number of his colleagues were arrested when they requested service at a segregated restaurant (it was King’s only arrest in the state of Florida). Immediately, King wrote to his friend, Rabbi Israel Dresner, asking for his support in bringing as many rabbis as he could to St. Augustine. One week later, after numerous threats to their lives, 17 rabbis arrived. The following day, at the site of the Monson Motor Lodge, the motel owner shoved the rabbis, forbidding them to pray in front of his motel. Police arrived quickly, and the rabbis were arrested. The commotion of dragging the rabbis into police cruisers gave black and white demonstrators time to jump into the motel’s “white only” swimming pool. “Our tradition,” says Rabbi Merrill Shapiro, St. Augustine Jewish Historical Society member, “insists that we treat all people with justice and equity. We don’t just do justice like we “do” Kashrut [keeping Kosher], or Pesach [the Jewish holiday of Passover] or Yom Kippur [the Day of Atonement]. We “pursue” justice, and we must constantly search for

injustices to make right, to repair, to perfect the world in which we live.” The rabbis, while in prison, penned Why We Went to St. Augustine, which speaks to the “spirit of racial arrogance” that persisted in the day as they “could not pass by the opportunity to achieve a moral goal by moral means … which has been the glory of the nonviolent struggle for civil rights.” Last year, as the anniversary of that event marked its 50th year, six of the original 17 rabbis returned to St. Augustine. This year, the St. Augustine Jewish Historical Society will host a public reading of the letter on Thursday, June 18 at noon outside the site of the arrest at the (very unhistoric) Hilton Garden Inn. The event is open to the public at no charge. “Our job, that we have taken on willingly, is to tell this muchundertold story and to push the Jewish story of St. Augustine from the back burner to the front, to the fore of American Jewish consciousness,” says Rabbi Shapiro. “Which neighborhood in St. Augustine is the last one still stuck on septic tanks, without access to sewer lines? The black community of West St. Augustine. Look at the quality of schools in black versus white neighborhoods. This is the meaning of our event here and now. The work is not yet complete.” Keith Marks kmarks@folioweekly.com

MURALLY AMBIGUOUS

IN TERMS OF ARCHETYPICAL BATTLES — light vs. dark, chaos vs. order, dogs vs. cats — the clash of art vs. politics has been ever-present since cave elders first frowned unsatisfactorily at the cave painters’ finished works. The spirit animal of that dance, once again, has reared its head locally, starting at a Historic Preservation Commission meeting on Wednesday, May 27. The commission had its first application of a relatively new mothballing application. Mothballing, legislation passed by the Jacksonville City Council in 2011, allows building owners a temporary respite on citations, giving them enough time to spruce

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THE SPRAWL <<< FROM PREVIOUS up the buildings, and get them up to safety and code issues. The mothballing process does carry just a few stipulations. One of those is that the windows must be secure. Most building owners place plywood over windows to keep vandals from breaking windows and entering the property. What type of wood? How should they look? Don’t worry, there’s a guideline for that. Mothballing Administrative Rules, section II, subsection “C,” sub-subsection (2), labeled “Window Openings” clears it up: “Exterior of boards shall be primed (recommended) and painted a flat dark grey or black color with a white or contrasting color mid-point horizontal line representing the meeting rail. An optional approved muntin pattern may either be painted or applied on the exterior of the boarding.” No problem. Until Elias Hionides sought to mothball his building at 801-805 W. Forsyth St., which has a mural painted by local artist Shaun Thurston on its plywood windows. Hionides stepped to the microphone at the May 27 meeting, saying, “[The mural] was something that we worked hard on. We think public art is something that is lacking in the city of Jacksonville. We think that it adds to making a city great … that’s up to you guys to make that decision.” Ultimately, the seven-member commission voted 4-3 in favor of approving the mothballing with no special conditions granted for the mural — if Hionides decides to keep the building’s windows covered, he will have to replace it with exterior-grade plywood at least one-half-inch thick (according to code), and paint the wood black. “The commission a quasi-judicial body, and judges are required to follow the law — not disregard the law. If someone wants to change the law, they should go to the legislative body,” says Jennifer Mansfield, the only lawyer on the preservation commission and the most vocal about keeping the application as conditioned in the planning department’s staff report. “Judges that disregard the law to do what they think is better rather than following the law are

activist judges because they’re not supposed to make the laws; they’re supposed to apply the laws … If there’s enough public support to change the law, then so be it. … I’ll go out and apply that changed law.” In the wake of the ruling, Hionides has 90 days to paint the plywood black once the final written order is delivered in the coming weeks. Standard procedure. That is, until the issue went live on social media and FACEBOOK ERUPTED! Hundreds of people chimed in, most (including local artists Margete Griffin, Noli Novak, Crystal Floyd, and MetroJacksonville founder Stephen Dare) reacted passionately, calling the initiative to take down one of a growing number of public murals in the city short-sighted (check out Folioweekly.com For a full play by play of the heated debate). Long-term thinking from a lawyer’s perspective is that by keeping the mothball guidelines in place, the city keeps precedents from sneaking in to destroy the mothballing ordinance. Long-term thinking from the arts community is that the city’s art scene continues to march forward toward vibrancy, and that the murals represent a city defining itself through art. By painting over the mural, or even by removing it, it’s like taking one step backward for public art in the city. “The proponents want it because they like it and they like the artist and so they think an exception should be made and I think that if the tables were turned … say, a well-known developer had an application and wanted an exception because they didn’t want to follow all the rules, I think these same people would be outraged at the cronyism of that, and so part of my reasoning was that the rules should be applied equally to everyone,” says Mansfield. “It was a multifaceted decision for me … It becomes, ‘I’ll change it because it’s art,’ and art is a form of speech. Then government is thrown into the quagmire of ‘what is art?’ I’m basing [my decision] on principle and not on whim. I guess history will tell … In fact, I’m trying to avoid anyone from ever being able to make a decision based on whim.” Keith Marks kmarks@folioweekly.com

BRICKBATS & BOUQUETS BRICKBATS TO THE JACKSONVILLE SHERIFF’S OFFICE which ranks dead last among various other large-population, urban police departments in Florida in the percentage of civil citations – basically, a ticket an officer can issue to first-time offenders, instead of making an arrest – given to minors who commit misdemeanors (27 percent compared to St. Petersburg PD’s 89 percent). BOUQUETS TO ECO VERDE SALON for merging high fashion with environmental savvy. Eco Verde is the first certified eco-salon, insisting on organic, vegan, and lowto-no-chemical hair products. The salon recently relocated to San Marco, and from purification systems to recycling programs to going paper towel-free, Eco Verde has stepped up its commitment to being a low-impact salon. BRICKBATS TO ORANGE PARK MEDICAL CENTER A study published in the journal Health Affairs showed the Clay County hospital to be drastically marking up its prices more than 1,000 percent. According to the study, the privately owned facility ranked eighth out of the 50 most expensive hospitals in the nation. BOUQUETS TO THE CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS which announced it’s participating in the global Outings Project, which concentrates on shifting classical works of art from museum collections and taking them literally to the streets. Helmed by local artists Dolf James, Doug Eng, and Corey Kolb, Jax Outings is an installation of figures taken from works in the Cummer’s Permanent Collection, increased in scale, and then applied to buildings in the urban core. Bonus points for the Cummer (and the local arts scene): While there are 70 participating cities in the Outings Project worldwide, Jacksonville is one of only 16 in the United States to participate, and one of only two in the Southeast.

KNOW SOMEONE WHO DESERVES A BOUQUET? HOW ABOUT A PROVERBIAL BRICKBAT? Send your submissions to mail@folioweekly.com. Submissions should be a maxium of 50 words and directed toward a person, place, or topic of local interest. 6 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015


JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 7


FIGHTIN’ WORDS

OUR GANG PROBLEM It’s one of etymology and one of policy T

he etymology of the word “gang” dates back to Old English (the language, not the malt liquor) and Norse. It denotes a “passage.” That’s not commonly understood. By the same token, even though we think we know what the word “gang” means today, the reality is this: Depending on where you live, who you are, and what your stake in the game is, you’re going to see the word “gang” differently from how others may interpret it. Last Monday evening, NW Jacksonville’s Zion Hope Missionary Baptist Church hosted a community meeting. It featured a section on “gang awareness” that has sparked a discussion well beyond the scope of the evening, giving insight into the huge gulf between local law enforcement’s understanding of what gangs are, and what the actual community members consider them to be. The resident expert on gangs: Duval County Public Schools Gang Investigator Jeff Shouse, who had been the sole DCPS Gang Investigator for a whopping five-and-ahalf months. Spoiler alert: The event was not a catered affair, but the crowd ate that poor man alive. And it started fairly quickly. In the aftermath, some real problems regarding our city’s approach to curbing the impacts of gangs revealed themselves. Shouse spoke of what it meant to be a criminal gang member. Apparently, there are 11 criteria that can apply to a gang member, who is determined as such if he or she satisfies two of them. An associate has to satisfy only one criterion. Which could be almost anything. I wrote a piece about his speech and the entire event for Florida Politics, the website on which I spend a good chunk of my days, and that piece elicited commentary from dozens of folks demonstrating firsthand knowledge of hotbeds of gang activity that was superior to my own. One such observation was along the lines of “whenever two or more black youth are assembled, that’s a gang.” Another such observation came from local activist Denise Hunt, showed a picture of the young men who owned and operated a grocery store in Durkeeville, two of whom had dreads and tattoos. Hunt made the point that JSO would have considered them a gang also. And, of course, we can recall the video that went viral on Memorial Day weekend from Jacksonville Beach, when officers approached a young black man and “requested,” in that polite way Jax Beach cops do, to take a picture of tattoos. An inventory measure. If you don’t like being photographed, goes the counterargument, just stay inside. Or wear a burqa. The local gangs, said the DCPS cop, are different from the national groups (the Crips, the Bloods, the Latin Kings, all of which have transnational infrastructures and, quite likely, money-laundering operations that allow them to segue seamlessly from 8 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

illicit to above-ground activity). They are neighborhood cliques. 103rd Street and 45th Street are two of the ones he mentioned. Undoubtedly, there are economic drivers; that good old Drug War, for example, provides a convenient way for these groups of poorly educated and socialized groups to profit from the artificial inflation of costs that prohibition allows. And the only price of that? Bullets through walls; bullets through people. As the joke goes, “those are jobs — American jobs!” The DCPS cop got some things right. He mentioned “caretaker transitions” as being a contributing factor to people falling into The Life. That said, he mentioned them in the most academic and detached way possible, which probably read great in his college textbooks but which seemed utterly divorced from the grim reality of how a mother or grandmother, working multiple jobs with no one to help with the bills, must feel when her

GANG

kid starts coming home at daybreak, with eyes redder than the sunset, smelling of cheap liquor and blunt smoke. Jacksonville definitely has a violence problem. The word “gang” is a convenient shorthand applied to drive-by shootings by what critics call drive-by media. The real issues are not these isolated pockets of violence rooted in profiting from anachronistic and discredited prohibitionist boondoogles; rather, they are something larger — a generational decision in many parts of the city to choose anarchic turf wars over sustainable solutions. What do they have to lose? Corporate rap music says it’s OK. And America loves its corporate rappers. Caught in the crossfire: local law enforcement, already hamstrung by the pension crisis. A veteran officer who knows something about the Duval County jail told me recently about the complete waste of resources locking up small-time dimebag dealers. These are resources that could go to community development, or infrastructure renewal. They won’t and they don’t. Our politicians use 1980s rhetoric, as dated as Hypercolor shirts, parachute pants, and car phones. As we lurch toward a global recession, we will all reap the harvest of the irresponsibility of lazy rhetoric and unimaginative policy solutions. And the bodies will pile up on our city’s streets. AG Gancarski mail@folioweekly.com twitter/AGGancarski


NEWS

A RECORD OF THE REACTION TYLER SHIELDS’ most recent work sparked both outrage and conversation. And that was the intention

P

hotographer and Jacksonville native Tyler Shields recently broke the Internet with his new series of work, Historical Fiction. The newsfeedgrabbing piece Lynching features a nude black male hanging a uniformed member of the Ku Klux Klan. Celebrity gossip outlet TMZ even reported on the work. But, even before the sleaze-TV exposure, Shields’ notoriety for provocative and often aggressive photographs of young Hollywood was well-established. In 2012, Shields became a household name after releasing a series of photographs depicting a Hermes Birkin handbag — the celebrity treasure, with waiting lists stretching into the decades and a six-figure price tag — being destroyed in various ways. The photos themselves are quite visceral and make no qualms about getting right to the point. However, the real art and intellect of the work was realized once the photographs were exhibited and subsequently reproduced on social media. The outcry was immediate and unrelenting. Viewers were outraged that Shields had burned, sawed, and bitten such a prized possession. Words like hack, spoiled, sad, and entitled began to flow from every social media platform. The reactions to Birkin and Historical Fiction are closely related, as both series speak to viewers in terms of social-economic status and class. Does Birkin hark back to Renaissance paintings depicting royalty and all of their prized possessions, or the rebellion that followed caused by the enormous disparity of wealth? How does Historical Fiction relate to the social unrest felt after the events that transpired in Baltimore? What has the current wealth gap done to our country? These questions become the work. They provide viewers with a catalyst for conversation. Each forum topic and every conversation that follows can be matted and framed to accompany the work. The photographs have become one with the reaction and vice-versa, creating a grand performance headlining seven days a week on the magnificent stage that is the Internet. Folio Weekly recently talked to Shields at his Los Angeles home about Historical Fiction, sparking conversation on social media, and how his native city influences his work. Folio Weekly: Historical Fiction recently blew up the Internet. what is the concept behind that series? Tyler Shields: The idea for that series was to kind of touch on moments in history. I love the idea of not recreating the actual moment, for instance, John F. Kennedy being killed. I didn’t want to recreate that actual moment, but more the reaction people had. That was more of what interested me. So we took a lot of these moments from history and recreated ideas of what people’s reactions might have been.

Did you draw directly from any current events? Yeah, one of the things that I definitely noticed was in this generation, anyone you talk to can tell you where they were and what they were doing when 9/11 happened. That’s probably the most prevalent moment in this generation’s history. But, it was the same for people you talk to when Kennedy was killed or when Marilyn Monroe died. You talk to certain people that were around then and they remember being taken out of school when Kennedy was killed. It’s interesting to me how now 9/11 wasn’t even that long ago, but smartphones weren’t really a thing and the Internet wasn’t big as it is now. Now news has much less weight to it than it did during 9/11. Yeah, social media waters things down and the news can get lost. Exactly, it just comes and goes now. Your work invokes a really good conversation, especially on social media and the Internet. When you were creating this work, did you have a specific conversation you hoped to start? I think that any time you make something, you want people to talk about it. The main idea for me was [that] I don’t want to tell people what they should think. I wanted to create something and let them think whatever they are going to think. It’s not what I think about it, because what I think about it doesn’t matter. I know what I think about it; I made it. You learn a lot about people from their reaction. I went on MSNBC and they had an old, white police officer on there and they showed him the photo of the American flag image and he said, “I think this is disgusting. It’s within his first amendment right to do this, but I think it’s terrible” and blah blah blah. Then the other people on the show tore him apart. I thought it was so interesting because he looks at it and he sees something negative and the other people, who were a bit younger, thought it was fantastic. So you know everyone is going to have a different opinion. If I’m allowed to make it, people are allowed to hate it, but they are also allowed to love it. The piece that was on many front pages was the lynching. What lead to its creation? Growing up in the South, you see images of the KKK or you hear about it or just know

about it. I don’t know why, but ever since I was a kid, I always imagined what it would be like if it was the other way around. Even finding the right person who would have the balls to do that was interesting. I didn’t tell him that he was going to do that until he got to my house. I said, “This is what we are going to do; you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” He stared at the floor for about a minute and then said, “Let’s do it.” Having him nude makes him vulnerable, yet he is completely in control. The juxtaposition is very interesting. Definitely; when we were there, he turned around and looked at me; we are in this swamp. He’s in it and I’m behind him, and we have no idea what’s in there. We’re trying to do it as quick as we can and he turns around looks at me and he says, “This feels biblical.” Is the work you create today informed by growing up in Jacksonville? I think everything that I do in my life has been shaped in some way by where I grew up, who I hung out with, and what I did as a kid. Jacksonville is a very interesting place when you go away from it and look back on it; there’s a lot that you can do there. I know a lot of my friends say it’s boring, but it’s really not. You can be at the beach and surfing and 10 minutes later be at Kona Skate Park. There’s a lot of fascinating things to do in that city … There is a fascinating group of people in Jacksonville. Any advice for local artists? People get this idea that you need to go to New York or LA and those are the places to shoot. Really what’s fascinating now is people are more interested in seeing Jacksonville or the South or these other worlds that exist down there. Don’t be afraid to really explore what you have available to you. Don’t think you need to be somewhere else, because you have gold right in front of you. I have some plans to come back and shoot because there are places that I remember as a kid. Wyatt Parlette mail@folioweekly.com

___________________________________________ To read the entire, unedited interview, go to folioweekly.com

JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 9


NEWS Is MEDICAID EXPANSION a handout or a leg up?

Linda Perry

ABLE-BODIED IN THE COVERAGE GAP

C

arefully applied shimmery peach shadow highlights eyes that are a peerless, expressive blue as Linda Perry opens up about her life over unsweet tea, hummus and pita bread on the patio of a beaches restaurant. She calls it “couch surfing,” but the fact is that the petite blonde is homeless, staying in shelters, with a friend, or sleeping in her car as she did the night before we met. The series of events that led to her current predicament is a vague jumble buried beneath pride and reserve, but now, after five long years of living hand-to-mouth, the 60-year-old domestic violence survivor may be on the verge of breaking the cycle — she’s just been hired as a Chick-Fil-A greeter — but you wouldn’t know it to talk to her. Years of disappointment on the streets of Jacksonville have, at least for the time being, destroyed her capacity for hope. Perry has been beaten, choked and taken advantage of; each time she’s picked herself back up and kept seeking that better life. “I’m stubborn, that’s what it is,” she says. Even when she wants to give up and join those who spend their days riding the bus, panhandling or wiling away the hours, she somehow finds the strength to keep going. Just don’t pity her. “Don’t treat me like that, I need to build myself back up,” she says about thrift store clerks’ reactions to her situation. Perry is one of the “able-bodied,” childless adults who, after the Florida House of Representatives voted against Medicaid expansion on June 5, does not qualify for Medicaid. Only four Republicans detracted the House’s vote; the measure failed 72-41. “To say they’re able-bodied and they don’t want to work or they’re just laying around not working, that isn’t true,” says Cindy Funkhouser, president and CEO of Sulzbacher Center, which provides services and care to the homeless. “And the people that we have in our program are desperately seeking employment or they are employed.” On June 9, House Speaker Steve Crisafulli (R-Merritt Island) wrote in a Tampa Bay Times op-ed, “We should be proud that Florida provides a strong safety net for people who cannot provide for themselves. We invest billions of dollars to make health care affordable for children, the elderly and the disabled.” At 60, Linda Perry isn’t a child. She isn’t elderly, either. Nor is she old enough to retire (the minimum age to receive Social Security

10 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

is 62). But she wants to hang on and work for five more years so she can qualify for full Social Security benefits. In spite of being diabetic, hypertensive, neuropathic, diagnosed with depression and macular degeneration (an incurable, progressive condition that causes blindness), Perry has twice been denied disability benefits. The first denial, she believes, is standard operating procedure. The second denial, which occurred in April, she chalks up to the fact that she doesn’t have children and is capable of standing up on her own two feet. So she continues to rely on Sulzbacher Center for medical care and the eight pills she takes every day to manage her conditions, and the emergency room for anything serious. House Representative Mia L. Jones (D-Jacksonville), the de facto sponsor of the Senate-authored Medicaid expansion bill, pointed out that it is actually cheaper for the state to pick up the tab for preventive care than pay for emergency room visits and hospital admissions. She says that it is fiscally irresponsible for Florida to refuse billions of dollars of federal funding — some $5 billion annually — for Medicaid expansion. “If we were in a situation where we just had an overabundance of funding available to us and we turned down the funding, that would be one thing … but we know that we have waiting lists in a number of areas,” Rep. Jones says. Jones says that House Republicans made it clear they were not going to pass Medicaid expansion in any form, regardless of concessions or compromises, which the Senate was willing to negotiate. Now, according to Rep. Jones, the House is hurrying to “backfill” hundreds of millions of dollars from the budget to keep safety net hospitals, such as UF Health Jacksonville, that treat indigents and have relied on the federally funded Low Income Pool (LIP), from closing down or significantly reducing services and workforce. In fiscal year 2014, UF Health Jacksonville provided approximately 4,000 acute admissions and 105,000 outpatient visits and observation visits to indigents. Some believe that Republicans are gambling on the success of Governor Rick Scott’s suit to make the federal government continue funding the LIP. A hearing is scheduled for June 19, just one day before the House Special Session on healthcare and the budget ends. But the odds of the suit’s success are unclear.

The back-and-forth between Florida and the federal government over Medicaid expansion is a political chess match where the only losers are the people who can’t get healthcare. Last summer, constant exposure to the summer heat left Linda Perry so severely dehydrated that no amount of water or Gatorade would quench her thirst; she couldn’t walk, was disoriented and falling down. “Someone [a man] took me to a motel room. I don’t know if that was the best idea but at least I got some air conditioning and a shower,” she says, “ … it was horrible.” She says that the man didn’t hurt her, but admits she was relieved when he abandoned her after receiving his disability check. This is just one example of the kinds of choices people without ongoing medical care are forced to make when they get sick: Go to the emergency room, stay sick, or find another way.

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ichael Van, a 19-year-old Florida State College at Jacksonville student, was born blind in one eye, hard of hearing and with a severe cleft palate that makes his speech difficult to understand. He also has dystonia, or involuntary muscle movements, and needs medication to maintain mobility. “[Without medicine] I will fall down every time I stand up and my walking will be limited to two hours,” he says. Van is currently appealing the state’s rejection of his disability application. His attorney, Florida Coastal School of Law Professor Sarah Sullivan, says that many are denied disability because they either don’t know how to navigate the arduous bureaucratic process or can’t gather enough evidence. Van has a UF Health Jacksonville clinic card, commonly called a Shands card, which provides him with medication but not the surgery that will fix his cleft palate. “All of my clients that rely on Shands cards because they are not sick enough to qualify for disability (or are trying to prove that they are sick enough but don’t have enough evidence) or don’t have children, etc., will have nowhere to turn [if the hospital closes]. Many of them aren’t homeless, they are employed, but are on the verge. One major medical catastrophe, or a diagnosed chronic illness, and it is financial ruin,” Sullivan wrote in an email. Van, who graduated from Edward H. White High School with honors, dreams of becoming a medical billing specialist so he can help other people like him. But he is stuck in a catch-22; he can’t afford surgery and, without the ability to speak clearly, which surgery would provide, finding employment may be difficult, if not impossible. Van, who lives with his parents and two younger siblings, wants to be independent but he’s held back by treatable, fixable medical conditions that, without Medicaid expansion or a successful disability appeal, will continue to hinder him. Without Medicaid expansion, some 800,000 Floridians like Van and Perry have no consistent, reliable access to medical care. Funkhouser says that health, employment and housing are “hand in glove”: without one, the other two can quickly be jeopardized. For these people, healthcare isn’t a handout, it’s a leg up. Asked what she thinks might change the minds of the powerful opponents of Medicaid expansion, Perry readily answers. “They have to go through it. I think about that a lot. All right, just take this person and put them out in their car for six months with nothing. See how he feels. You can’t get any help … you can’t get your food and figure out how to go get it. Maybe not even in a car. And now you’re cold, go find yourself a blanket. They don’t understand.” Claire Goforth mail@folioweekly.com


BEWARE FOES OF FIDUCIARY JUSTICE! C O U N C I L G A D F LY A N D P E N S I O N H E R O , CURTIS LEE! I S O U T T O S A V E T H E C I T Y F R O M IRRESPONSIBLE SPENDING AND IMPENDING F I N A N C I A L R U I N ( O R M AY B E N O T )

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ate into a marathon session on the evening of Tuesday, June 9, having just passed a highly anticipated bill to reform the city of Jacksonville’s police and firefighter pensions, the council returned to chambers for the obligatory public comments session. As District 11 Councilmember Ray Holt read names from the stack of blue public comment cards, it became apparent that a grueling four-and-a-half hours of legislative wrangling by the assembled 18 elected officials had lulled most mortals into indifference, then toward the comfort of their home. Patiently waiting in the wings, however, was Curtis Lee.

Forget any talk from a giddy council of forward momentum or the value of compromise; Lee would have none of it. As the city’s self-appointed pension protector, the passage of the reform bill was just one more felonious assault on what he deemed the eighth virtue: fiscal responsibility. “You have given a whole bunch of people who may be dissatisfied grounds to further much up the pension reform process,” he told the council that evening. “So I’m quite sad you have done what you’ve done.” “I must alert the caped crusader, for the sake of us all.” — Gotham Police Commissioner Jim Gordon The Bat-Signal first beamed on Curtis Lee on Nov. 24, 2009.

After reading a Florida Times-Union article reporting Jacksonville’s Police & Fire Pension Fund (PFPF) had the earnings to only cover less than 50 percent of its pension obligations, Lee was alarmed. “To the Batmobile!” — Batman He knew if a pension fund is less than 80 percent funded, it’s troubled. To explain the meaning of a fund with only 50 percent of its obligations funded, Lee employed metaphor:

“A fiscal basket case,” he called it. The PFPF was $800,000 short in 2009. It’s now an estimated $1.6 billion short. During Mayor Alvin Brown’s four years in office, the city paid $200 million toward that shortfall. That’s egregious. That’s money that didn’t go to roads or downtown redevelopment, new police or firefighters or to keep Shad Khan in town. “There is no doubt the city’s pension costs are ruining Jacksonville,” Lee told the City Council on Sept. 28, 2010. “The city is bankrupt in any normal sense of the word.” It’s in extremis.

STORY BY SUSAN COOPER EASTMAN! PHOTOS BY DENNIS HO! ORIGINAL ARTWORK BY SAMUEL SHAW!

“I know how pension plans are supposed to operate, and what pension plan operations should cost, thanks to my prior professional and managerial experience,” he wrote on Aug. 8, 2012. “And thus I know the PFPF is a wasteful, overstaffed, scandal-ridden mess.” The only solution, Lee said (and he’s said it again, and again and again) is to figure out what city can afford, and then base pension reform on that figure. “Holy atomic pile, Batman!” — Robin Through six years of unmasked inquest into the PFPF, Lee’s message never wavered: Jacksonville can’t afford to pay the pensions benefits it’s promised. It can’t raise taxes high enough to make up a billion-plus-dollar shortfall. It can’t borrow a billion-plus-dollars, either. It must cut benefits. State law requires the city pay up. A government can’t promise employees a cushiony retirement and then renege when they retire. To Lee, the path out is obvious, and it irritates him when folks ignore the noses on each other’s faces. “It’s the Bat-Phone, sir.” — Bruce Wayne’s butler Alfred Pennyworth

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<<< FROM PREVIOUS The PFPF pension agreement that City Council adopted on June 9 by a 14-4 vote incorporates many reforms Lee has suggested, though he wasn’t credited. It cuts retirement pay for new employees. It requires the PFPF to use reserves to help pay down the predicted earnings shortfall. It increases current employee contributions. It stipulates that the PFPF’s next executive director have a background in managing pensions and a finance degree. Unless the PFPF becomes a registered collective bargaining agent, an unlikelihood, it will no longer be the prime pension benefit negotiator. For Lee, it’s both not enough and too much. He points out that over the next 13 years, the city has agreed to increase payments to the PFPF by $350 million, to pay down that $1.6 billion shortfall, yet there’s no plan for how to raise the money. He complains the City Council has hamstrung mayor-elect Lenny Curry into raising taxes by the end of his four-year term to meet the payment schedule. He also pointed out that the contract promises an immediate 1.7 percent pay increase to all firefighters and police officers to offset their increased contributions. And the City Council adopted a seven-year contract, limiting further reform well into Curry’s second term or another mayor’s first.

L E E A P P E A R E D F R E Q U E N T LY B E F O R E C I T Y COUNCIL, FRAMING HIS FINDINGS TO FIT THE THREE-MINUTE INCREMENTS ALLOTTED PER C I T I Z E N F O R P U B L I C C O M M E N T S . H E E D U C AT E D ANYONE WILLING TO GIVE HIM AN EAR. HE G E N E R AT E D M O R E T H A N 1 , 0 0 0 E M A I L S I N C I T Y H A L L , M O S T O R I G I N AT I N G F R O M H I S E N D . W H E N H E F E LT S T Y M I E D I N H I S R E C O R D S Q U E S T S , H E FILED LAWSUITS. HE WAS ON A MISSION. “I’m glad the city of Jacksonville doesn’t manufacture automobiles,” he said ruefully last week, anticipating the City Council would adopt the pension deal, “or we would all be dead.” “That’s one trouble to dual identities, Robin. Dual responsibilities.” — Batman Lee casts his call as altruistic. “I have done this as a public service,” Lee told Folio Weekly. However, PFPF Board of Trustees member Peter Sleiman would disagree. He once described Lee’s campaign to investigate the PFPF thusly:

ANATOMY OF A

PENSION HERO! ACUTE MATHEMATICAL PLASTICITY unaffected by monotonous

records quests, he filed lawsuits. He was a man on a mission. “As a person who knows a great deal about pensions, and as a retiree with some time to spend in pursuing governmental misconduct,” Lee explains, “I simply cannot sit idly by while bad things occur I can do something about.”

“He’s basically terrorized the pension fund.” “A routine question: Have you recently sold any war surplus submarines and, if so, to whom?” — Batman Over the past six years, Lee transformed himself into an expert on Jacksonville’s PFPF pension system. He appeared frequently before City Council, framing his findings to fit the three-minute increments allotted per citizen for public comment. He educated anyone willing to give him an ear. He generated more than 1,000 emails in City Hall, most originating from his end. When he felt stymied in his

“A reporter’s lot is not easy, making exciting stories out of plain, average, ordinary people like Robin and me.” — Batman Sitting on the backyard deck of his modest Westside home, Lee, at 58, is relaxed with flashes of charming.

TEDIUM-RESISTANT CEREBRUM Able to pore through the most debilitatingly boring public documents

ULTRA-MAGNIFYING EYEWEAR Allows for intense scrutiny of relevant documents

number-crunching

FASHION RESISTANT UNIFORM hand-me-down clothing combats character assassination with benevolent disinterest

EXTREME RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION Passionately impervious to second thoughts; lack of consideration for reconsideration

SUPREME FRUGALITY unsusceptible to the allure of the capitalist machine

MAXIMAL SEDENTARY PARTIALITY ability to engage in drudgery for mind-numbingly protracted stretches

SENSIBLE FOOTWEAR comfort is the platform from which to launch into venomous city-council-allotted-3-minute tirades

12 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015


“Thirty years is idiotic. Seven years is very foolish,” he said of the new contract. “You can’t get around the three-year rule.” He’s dressed today in light tan jeans, a baggy and much-laundered turquoise-blueand-black-striped golf shirt and white Nikes. I found a similar shirt advertised new online at Kmart for less than $10. When I note the brand of his shoes, he protests, “Not the expensive Nikes!” and explains he doesn’t he spend money on clothes. “There are no $40 T-shirts in this house,” he says. Lee comes off as a highly self-regarding Supernerd and a bit of a pedagogue. His eyeglasses are as thick as glass blocks. He lapses into a slight and endearing lisp when he speaks. Lee grew up in a suburb of Buffalo, New York, the youngest of three children and the only boy. His father Franklin earned a degree in chemical engineering in 1941 and worked on the top-secret Manhattan Project during WWII to develop the atomic bomb. After the war, Franklin worked for a Buffalo chemical company, taught chemistry at the local community college and started a business in the basement selling scientific equipment to high schools on the side.

His mother Doris was no slacker, either. When her family couldn’t afford her tuition to Smith College during the throes of the Great Depression, Doris paid her own way as a farm laborer, picking beans. Lee earned his law degree at New York University in 1981. But he always thought of himself as a regular working guy. “I never was a 40-hour-a-week person. I always tried to be better than other people and harder-working than other people,” he says. When Lee and partner Bob moved from Buffalo to Florida in 2003, they chose Jacksonville because of the low cost of living and the proximity of Jacksonville International Airport for flights back home. (Lee asked that Bob’s full name not be used in this story. He doesn’t want Bob’s family involved in his battles.) House-shopping on a budget of $110,000 brought them to a cul-de-sac of moderately priced but non-descript ranch homes on the Westside, circa 1990. They have a swimming

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>>

PET PARENTS COUNT ON OUR HUMAN GRADE TREATS Free Treat When You Bring Your Pet

CONTINUED NEXT PAGE >>> JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 13


<<< FROM PREVIOUS pool in the small backyard, but it’s the aboveground kind. Lee explains how living small and working hard earned him freedom. “Although I have taken a daring position here,” he says of his pension crusade, “part of the reason I can do so is because I have saved my pennies and been fiscally sensible.” His one extravagance? He’s spent more than $180,000 of his own money on lawsuits. He will recoup the outlay by winning, he explains. “If I had lost every penny, I’d point out that we would not have gone starving,” he says. “With my head sticking out of this neosaurus costume, I might not appear like an ordinary, run-of-the-mill crimefighter.” — Batman For most people, one bruising round of whistleblowing is enough. Remember, however, Lee works harder. This isn’t the first time he’s battled wrong; doubt it will be the last. The March 2006 issue of The Economist told the story. It featured Lee as an example of the fate of a typical whistleblower. Title: “Whistleblowers: Broken Lives and Organizational Power.” The magazine recapped the consequences of Lee’s decision in 1999 to turn in the top three executives at National Fuel to the Securities and Exchange Commission. They broke the law, he said. According to news accounts and court documents, Lee alleged the men illegally backdated stock options. Dating a stock transfer back to a day when the dollar value was low can greatly maximize earnings as the stock jumps in value. In one of the years he documented, the Buffalo News reported, Lee alleged each executive earned an extra $100,000. But National Fuel turned the tables. The company sued him for divulging secrets he’d been privy to as company attorney. And won. A judge ordered Lee to return company records, which also happened to be his evidence of the stock deception. He lost his house. He lost his job. A judge ordered him to see a psychiatrist and forbid him to discuss National Fuel unless it related to his utility bill. National Fuel hired an investigator to follow him. Alerting reporters and law enforcement of the deception, Lee violated the order 83 times. For his efforts, at one point, Lee faced more than $500,000 in fines. While the gag on his free speech was later deemed a civil rights violation and the ordered psychiatric visits were thrown out, Lee volunteered to give up his law license and retire at 44 years old to put an end to it. He tells Folio Weekly that both Bob and his parents were sick. When a Buffalo News reporter asked Lee if he’d take the same course of action knowing it would be career suicide, Lee laughed. “I would because I had to,” Lee said. “Based on my values, I felt I had to do it.” “It sounds like something I would have said,” Lee tells Folio Weekly. “Some things are just wrong.” “Good grammar is essential, Robin.” — Batman Despite his full-tilt investigation and the stacks of public records — some two feet 14 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

“I will continue to be involved on these issues, even if you and your staff continue to treat me with what I call ‘begrudging tolerance colored by disdain.’” tall — lining the walls of his home office, Lee insists the PFPF doesn’t consume him. Like Bruce Wayne, he has a life. He and Bob travel frequently, he says. They go out once a week to see a movie in a theater. Lee also enjoys a weekly trouncing of opponents at the Jacksonville Scrabble Club. He’s the highest-ranked Scrabble player in Duval County, and ranked 17th in the state of Florida by the North American Scrabble Players Association. But he’s neglected some mundane duties to answer Gotham’s call. As Lee sips coffee from a Superheroes mug, spiky seed heads in the backyard wiggle in the slight breeze. “I’ll get to it,” he jokes with a wave of his hand, “eventually.” In the meantime, the guy has a city to save. “You’re much stronger than you think. You are. Trust me.” — Superman On the conference room table at the downtown offices of the PFPF were the stacks of public records Lee had requested. Lee says Executive Director John Keane told him before he could look at them, he’d have to pay $326.40 to cover the salary of the senior staffer who assembled the documents. (Florida public records law allows a government to charge for the time it takes an employee to fulfill a records request if it involves an “extensive” amount of time, but the charge must be reasonable.) Keane also said Lee would be charged $27 an hour to pay for a secretary to make copies and $35 an hour for

an employee to sit with him to protect the records while he reviewed them. Lee was outraged. Keane was now the Joker to this Batman. “I came away with the conclusion John Keane was a little bit underhanded,” Lee told Folio Weekly, recalling his visit to the PFPF on Dec. 19, 2010. “He was really deceptive and he really didn’t want me looking into their business.” Lee filed a lawsuit. Lee triumphed, eventually, but he’s still battling for attorney’s fees. The case was heard before the Florida Supreme Court in February. The PFPF says it shouldn’t have to pay Lee’s fees because it didn’t intentionally violate the law. That’s what the first judge ruled. It’s an argument with big implications for Florida’s public records law. Most people can’t afford to fork over $180,000 in legal fees. An attorney takes a case because he or she can recoup costs by winning. Because of that lawsuit, the Miami Herald named Lee one of its five “Sunshine Citizens” last year. Lee also filed a public records case against State Attorney Angela Corey. In his investigations into the PFPF Board of Trustees, Lee discovered longtime trustee Peter Sleiman hadn’t lived in Duval County since 2006. He forced Sleiman to resign in December 2010, though Lee’s Penguin didn’t actually step down until City Council appointed a replacement in August 2012. Lee wanted Corey to prosecute Sleiman. He hectored Corey, as is his modus operandi. “I don’t like being ignored and I don’t like the appearance that powerful public officials can violate the law willy-nilly,” Lee wrote in one letter to Corey.

“Forgive my contempt for your office, but your office richly deserves contempt,” he wrote in another dated Jan. 25, 2011. His badgering of our prickly state attorney didn’t inspire action. But it did lead to what has to be one of the most bizarre interludes in Lee’s pension crusade. On Feb. 23, 2011, two investigators from Corey’s office showed up at Lee’s home around 10 a.m. One of them was wearing a gun, according to a statement Lee and his partner wrote shortly after the visit. Lee also recounts his version in a complaint he sent to Corey on Feb. 27, 2011. State attorney investigator John Zipperer asked Lee why he cared so much about Sleiman and the Police & Fire Pension Fund, Lee recounts. Zipperer explained Lee’s telephone calls and letters might be construed as “veiled threats.” He should stop, Zipperer advised. Lee’s lawsuit, filed on April 3, 2012, questioned a stipulation of Corey that public records be paid for either in cash or by money order. Circuit Court Judge Karen Cole agreed the requirement violated state public records laws. Cole also eviscerated Corey on the home visit. “Plainly, a visit by two SAO investigators to a citizen only days after citizen had made a public records request directed to the SAO, coupled with the advice the citizen should ‘stop calling the SAO’ would have a chilling effect of the willingness of the citizen (or most citizens) to pursue production of the public records to which he or she is entitled under Florida law,” Judge Cole wrote. (See Folio Weekly, “Sunshine Law: 1, Angela Corey: 0,” in blog post published Aug. 6, 2014, at http://bit.ly/1FK96Dt)


Still, to be ignored is hard on the psyche. Someone speaks truth to power, yet it feels like the audio is on mute. The impulse is to shout. Particularly in his written communications, Lee became more strident, angrier, as learned more about the PFPF and berated his pension rogues’ gallery. To his detractors, Lee’s insults fed an image. His were the persnickety complaints of a gadfly and a cantankerous crackpot. Snickers could be heard when he approached the dais at City Council meetings. Some councilmembers listened to his public comments with smiles fixed into a paternalistic, patronizing smirk. At the bottom of a 2012 Florida Times-Union article online, a commenter using the handle “bobjustice” left a loaded question that foreshadowed Buffaloesque blowback, “Wonder if he’s still seeing his psychiatrist?” the commenter asked. If a personal visit from investigators from the powerful state attorney’s office wasn’t enough to send Lee running for cover in his private retirement oasis, an incident the month before he filed his open meetings lawsuit might have. On March 7, 2012, the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office arrested Lee on a misdemeanor charge of soliciting prostitution in Tillie K. Fowler Park. The police report said Lee propositioned an undercover police officer in the park’s bathroom. He pled not guilty. Corey prosecuted him on a misdemeanor charge of engaging in lewdness. In deposition, the officer who alleged Lee had solicited him admitted he done all the propositioning, says Lee’s attorney Nicole Jamieson, who was then in private practice. Corey’s office prosecuted. A jury found Lee not guilty. He says the city of Jacksonville also paid $37,000 in damages. Lee’s most significant victory, though, occurred in March 2015 when Judge Thomas Beverly ruled on Lee’s Sunshine lawsuit against the PFPF, and voided the contract upon which those monstrous billion-dollar pension shortfall calculations are based. Beverly said the contract is illegal because it was negotiated in private meetings. This changed the pension dynamic. Before Beverly’s ruling, the city had to lure the PFPF into altering a 30-year agreement that had been adopted under former Mayor John Delaney and covered a span of

time from 2000-2030. No changes could be made unless it was sweet enough for the PFPF to agree. The Beverly ruling took the PFPF out of negotiations and left the city and the police and firefighters union to hammer out a new agreement. And state law, agreed Beverly, only allows a three-year collective bargaining agreement. No more 30-year deals. Lee describes the ruling as a gift to the city, but thinks the new contract approved on June 9 squanders it with a seven-year contract. “The frustrating thing is that what I and the Concerned Taxpayers had done was give the City Council and the mayor more power,” says Lee, “and they are just frittering it away.” Despite the Council vote and the likelihood the PFPF’s Board of Trustees will approve a seven-year contract, Lee’s pension fight isn’t over. He says the seven-year contract is illegal for the same reason the 30-year contract was. He expects it will be challenged in court and thrown out, too. “Thirty years is idiotic. Seven years is very foolish,” he says of the new contract. “You can’t get around the three-year rule.” I ask Lee what he might take on next, figuring he’d say he’d like to lay up in a chaise lounge with a smoking jacket and dry martini and chill. I should have known better. At first, Lee says, he has no master plan. But after a pause, he says he’ll probably delve into the criminal justice system. JSO. His arrest. Natch. It got him asking questions. He’s already done some preliminary sleuthing. He notes that two-thirds of the people arrested in Jacksonville in 2013 were charged with misdemeanors. And of those cases, defendants whose charges were dropped still spent an average 31 days in jail. Beam the BatSignal. Pick up the Bat-Phone. “This is very concerning,” Lee wrote in a draft he provided to Folio Weekly, “and suggests arrests are excessive, bails are excessive and the lives of those who are arrested on misdemeanors are being ruined, often needlessly.” He also notes he still has his volunteer work. I ask what volunteer work, thinking I’d missed something. His work on the city’s pension system, he responded. Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 15


Our Picks

OKIE, MON! BRONCHO The pride of Norman, Oklahoma (well, after

TRAIN KEPT A ROLLIN’

maybe Jesse Ed Davis, The Flaming Lips, Chainsaw Kittens, and Vince Gill), indie pop-rockers Broncho first galloped (maximum pun) onto the rock scene with 2011’s Can’t Get Past the Lips. These young bucks have permeated pop culture; their songs have been licensed for everything from an episode of HBO’s Girls to a commercial for Fabletics, a women’s athletic apparel company. 8 p.m. June 17 with openers Le Orchid and The Young Step at Jack Rabbits, San Marco, jaxlive.com, $10.

CHUGGINGTON LIVE!

The British-born animated series Chuggington has all the hallmarks of popular children’s TV shows: anthropomorphic beings (in this case, trains), a theme song that could be used to deprogram the most ardent, glassy-eyed cult member, psychedelic visuals, and storylines so naïve, they border on primitive myths. However, kids love this show. Chuggington Live! The Great Rescue Adventure allows your little “chug-head” to enjoy this onstage, multimedia version of the show, while you get to enjoy songs like “We are the Chuggineers” yet again! 7 p.m. June 19 at the TimesUnion Center’s Moran Theater, Downtown, $22.50$57.50, artistseriesjax.org.

RAD COMPANY

DOUBLE SKATE EVENTS

Hit the decks! Locals have an insane weekend ahead full of skateboard action. Go Skate Jax is held at three venues with keg-tapping party at Intuition on Friday and a block party on Saturday (June 19 and June 20, respectively), as well as a Sunday, June 21 Go Skate Day 2015 celebration under the bridge at RAM, which includes a mini-ramp, best trick contest, skate prizes, DJs, and a street course. For a schedule, go to goskatejax.com. Kona Skate Park and PB&J present Go Skate Day [SK8] Park 2015, which includes skate competitions by pro skaters, live music, an antique car show, and food trucks; noon-8 p.m. June 20 and 11 a.m.-5 p.m. June 21 at Hemming Park, Downtown, konaskatepark.com.

CLASSICAL GAS

ST. AUGUSTINE MUSIC FESTIVAL

Though the classical music season, like the GG Allin music season, has been a bit on the wane as of late, fear not! The ninth annual St. Augustine Music Festival offers six free classical music concerts that should satisfy your salubrious symphonic, uh, cravings. June 18-20, 25-27 at Cathedral Basilica, St. Augustine. For a schedule, go to staugustinemusicfestival.org.

DANCEHALL DAZE CHRONIXX

Like many other musicians, rising reggae artist Chronixx first started singing in church when he was still a runt-sized rasta, and was already producing music while only in his teens. In contrast to some of his peers, the now-22-year-old artist creates music with themes based on humanist politics and the power of true romance. In 2014, he expanded his stateside music fan base after appearing on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. He’s here at 9 p.m. June 18, with openers Zincfence Redemption, Federation Sound, Max Glazer, DJ Raggamuffin, DJ Stylish and DJ Blaque at Puff Ultra Lounge, Arlington, 4424104, $35-$50, ticketfly.com.

16 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

Reasons to leave the house this week


JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 17


A&E // FILM

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T. WRECKS

The latest installment of the Dinosaur-crazy franchise is hopefully headed for immediate extinction

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obody’s impressed by a dinosaur anymore,” as a futuristic amusement center optimized for says operations manager Claire (Bryce profitability and access to the dinosaurs. There’s Dallas Howard) in the early moments a petting zoo, T. Rex observatory, aquarium, of Jurassic World, and how true that is for aviary, onsite hotel and, of course, the one moviegoers as well: Visual effects are leaps and thing it couldn’t possibly function without, a bounds beyond what they were in 1993 when Starbucks. The problem is, operating expenses Jurassic Park was a box-office smash, and that are too high, so every few years, scientists have film’s two ho-hum sequels caused to cook up something new to fans to grow weary of the Jurassic keep the 21,000 daily visitors JURASSIC WORLD coming back. world. So surely executive **@@ producer Steven Spielberg and To the tune of $26 million, Rated PG-13 director Colin Trevorrow have they create the 50-footsomething great in store for us tall Indominus Rex. She’s a with this fourth outing, right? genetically created hybrid of various creatures, bigger and meaner than any The franchise should’ve remained extinct. dinosaur known to have existed, supremely Jurassic World is a big, humorless, drab intelligent, and she kills for sport. She is an movie, saved only by an inspired finale that at enemy to, and the worst nightmare of, any least lets you leave the theater feeling as if you living being on the island, which means the enjoyed something. insufferable humans argue over how to stop Set in Isla Nublar in Costa Rica, the same her when she escapes. location as Jurassic Park, the park has reopened

A VITAL VEIN OF CINEMA

JULY 1

Newcomers & Natives Guide to N.E. Florida

AUG 5

Bite by Bite by Cuisine

SEP 9

Fall Arts Preview Northeast Florida’s Guide to the Season’s Best

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Together, we will gure it out. 18 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

ALREADY THE WINNER OF SEVERAL AWARDS at both national and international fi lm festivals, A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014) is a clever, highly original twist on the vampire myth, the second such movie made in the last two years. In 2013, Jim Jarmusch, an accomplished filmmaker, gave us Only Lovers Left Alive with Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston as Eve and Adam, a centuries-old bloodsucking couple whose close friend Christopher Marlowe (John Hurt), still alive and drinking life’s elixir, was the actual author of Shakespeare’s works. A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, filmed in gorgeous black-and-white, is the first work by Ana Lily Amirpour, a young woman born in England to Iranian parents but raised in Miami and Los Angeles. Her film debut is a unique experience, stylistically indebted to forerunners as diverse as David Lynch and Sergio Leone. Set in fictional town Bad City (California ably substituting for Iran), the movie features a cast of American-Iranians speaking Farsi. The girl of the title, her hair and striped blouse covered by a black burka (substituting for you-know-who’s cape), haunts the nighttime streets (sometimes on a skateboard) dispensing her own kind of justice. A Girl Walks Home calls to mind other international vampire versions, each with a twist of its own that sets the fi lms apart from the typical homegrown American brew. Sweden’s first vampire film was Frostbitten (2006), which started in WWII with a stray Nazi unit encountering a bloodsucker. Most of the film, however, takes place in the present day with the lone survivor of the earlier attack nursing some diabolical plans before an unfortunate comic tone sets in, directly (and unsuccessfully) modeled on An American Werewolf in London. Only half-good

but still interesting, the best feature of Frostbitten is its snowy setting within the Arctic Circle a full year before the better 30 Days of Night. The Citizen Kane of Swedish vampire films, and one of the best ever, is Let the Right One In (2008), unnecessarily but competently remade in America two years later as Let Me In. The unique gimmick is that the vampire is a young girl who befriends a bullied boy, which is bad news for the mean kids. In Australia, a very different approach was undertaken with Thirst (1979), which features a large secret community (75,000-plus) of blooddrinkers of the non-supernatural variety, people breed and exsanguinate humans to satisfy their selective tastes. The leaders of the group (including David Hemmings of Michelangelo Antonioni’s BlowUp) are trying to coax a young woman to join them because her ancestor, Elizabeth of Bathory, was

Claire is at first overly concerned with company profits before she wises up and remembers her sister (Judy Greer) is counting on her to take care of her two nephews (Ty Simpkins and Nick Robinson) as they visit the park. To his credit, park owner Simon (Irrfan Khan) tries to do the right thing, but it’s too late to change his critical mistakes. Owen (Chris Pratt) and his assistant Brady (Omar Sy) work with velociraptors and have developed a bit of a rapport with the prehistoric creatures, which the head of security (Vincent D’Onofrio) believes can be an asset in hunting the Indominus. Owen disagrees. Emphatically. You know a movie’s bad when the even the endearing Chris Pratt (Parks and Recreation, Guardians of the Galaxy) is so stifled he can’t crack a joke for some comic relief. The visual effects and scale of the production reflect enormous ambition, so the lack of success certainly isn’t due to limited vision. The execution, however, is faulty; there are long stretches in which nothing dynamic happens, and the action scenes are fairly standard, consistent with what we’ve seen from this franchise before. Understand: The first Jurassic Park worked because it had ingenuity and, most important, a “wow” factor that crackled with excitement every time a dinosaur was on screen. But as Claire readily admits — and the filmmakers certainly know as well — dinosaurs alone aren’t enough, and it’s these extra elements in Jurassic World that underwhelm. Simply put, there’s nothing to “wow” at here, and we go to movies like these to do nothing but “wow.” Dan Hudak mail@folioweekly.com

MAGIC LANTERNS

one of history’s real blood queens. Watchable if not entirely successful, Thirst is at least original. (For a non-genre, historical take on the real Elizabeth Bathory, check out the ’09 French-German production of The Countess, with Julie Delpy doing impressive triple-duty as writer, star, and director. Truth can be at least as strange as fi ction.) Returning to the traditional vein of vampire lore, this time to South Korea, Park Chan-wook’s Thirst (2009) is about a devout Catholic priest who contracts vampirism through an Ebola-like virus. Another visually stunning treat from the director of Oldboy and Stoker, this film is as original and substantive as its recent counterpart from Sweden. Vampires certainly suck, but these vampire movies do not. Pat McLeod mail@folioweekly.com


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20 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015


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A&E // FILM

Latest DISNEY-PIXAR flick sells silliness to kids while delivering a powerful story for parents

A&E // FILM LISTINGS Little Feat: Paul Rudd (who is allegedly in this suit) stars in the latest comic-book-born, superhero movie, Ant-Man.

FILM RATINGS CHRISTOPHER LEE **** ARTHUR LEE ***@ HARPER LEE **@@ TOMMY LEE *@@@

EMOTIONAL RESCUE I

to craft a fantastically detailed world inside f there’s anything we should realize about Riley’s brain. Memories are stored in the form the way Disney markets its animated of multicolored balls that race along shiny films — whether from Disney Animation tracks, with clean-up crews amusingly doing Studios or Pixar — it’s that there’s simply no the work of weeding out stuff we all know way to know from the advertising what these we’ll never remember. The core memories films are actually about. Brave’s advertising themselves are manifested as floating miniplayed up the comic relief of the mischievous cities, while imagination, nightmares and lost triplets, completely hiding the fact that the memories take on equally fascinating forms. central story was about a complex motherIt’s an animator’s dream to create an daughter relationship. Frozen’s entire universe from scratch, and marketing campaign emphasized INSIDE OUT Inside Out does so with creativity Olaf the snowman and the playful that pops with its own perfect reindeer, again obfuscating the ***G Rated PG internal logic. centrality of the female protagonists. And Big Hero 6 kept the focus on As terrific a technical gentle robot Baymax, burying the achievement as Inside Out might grief and anger of main character Hiro. be, it’s an even better piece of writing. There’s what a movie is, and there’s what Throughout his Pixar films — which also a movie sells, and if you don’t realize that include Monsters, Inc. and Up — Docter Disney is remarkably — perhaps even has shown himself to be deeply connected cynically — savvy about such matters, you’re to parental relationships, and the evolving gonna be in for some big surprises. emotional needs of children as they grow. Here, he’s wrestling with something that That preface is crucial for any adult on its surface would seem to be too much considering seeing Disney/Pixar’s Inside Out, of a downer for an ostensibly “family” film: and basing that decision on what they see How do parents deal with the reality of their in commercials. Because while the brightly carefree child transitioning into the more colored central characters and the highcomplicated emotional life of an adolescent? concept premise might suggest a simplistic, With Joy serving as the parental surrogate gag-filled story, you have no idea the in this case, Inside Out hits some of the emotional complexity director Pete Docter same wrenching notes that Toy Story 3 did has packed into this terrific adventure. in touching on transitional moments when And that high concept is easy to distill: a mother or father has to let go of a child as Inside us all is an emotional “control room,” they used to know them, to make way for the with physical manifestations of those adult they’ll eventually become. emotions responding to the things that push There’s plenty of fun to be found in our metaphorical buttons by pushing literal buttons. For 11-year-old Riley (Kailyn Dias), the characters and voice performances — a girl whose parents (Kyle MacLachlan, including Richard Kind as Riley’s imaginary Diane Lane) have just moved the family from pink elephant friend Bing Bong — plus a Minnesota to San Francisco, those emotions bunch of hilarious postscript material that take the form of Joy (Amy Poehler), Sadness expands the “brain control room concept” to (Phyllis Smith), Fear (Bill Hader), Disgust several other characters from the film. But (Mindy Kaling) and Anger (Lewis Black). whatever Inside Out offers to kids — and is As Riley struggles to adjust to her new home promising in commercials aimed squarely and new surroundings, Joy and Sadness at the grade-school crowd — is nothing inadvertently wind up whisked away to the compared to what the Pixar films continue far reaches of Riley’s subconscious, while still to deliver for adults, in storytelling that nails some of the most defining lump-intrying to preserve the happiness of the little the-throat moments of human experience. girl’s “core memories” and make their way Those commercials might get the kids to nag back to headquarters. parents into a visit to the theater, where those The fanciful scenario — while something parents might be startled to discover a movie that’s been an idea in everything from Woody that’s really all about them. Allen’s Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (but Were Afraid to Ask) to Scott Renshaw Herman’s Head — allows Docter and company mail@folioweekly.com

22 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

SCREENINGS AROUND TOWN NIGHT OWL CINEMA Marty McFly is back again in Back to the Future, 8 p.m. June 21 at St. Augustine Amphitheatre, 1340 A1A S., free, 4711965, staugamphitheatre.com. SUN-RAY CINEMA Grey Gardens, Iris, Slow West and Spy screen at 1028 Park St., 5 Points, 359-0049, sunraycinema.com. The free summer kids’ series continues 11:30 a.m. June 17 and 20 with The LEGO Movie. Inside Out starts June 18. Heaven Adores You screens June 18. THE CORAZON CINEMA & CAFÉ Welcome to Me and American Sniper screen at 36 Granada St., St. Augustine, 679-5736, corazoncinemaandcafe.com. Jaws runs noon June 18. Awake: The Life of Yogananda starts June 19. Goldfinger screens noon June 21. Munchin Monday Movie: Shark Tale, noon June 22. IMAX THEATER Jurassic World, Galapagos 3D, Humpback Whales, World Golf Village Hall of Fame IMAX Theater, St. Augustine, 940-4133, worldgolfimax.com.

NOW SHOWING THE AGE OF ADALINE Rated PG-13 Blake Lively plays a woman with a condition that keeps her from aging, affording her the kinds of adventures only perpetual youth can bestow. Costars Harrison Ford, Michiel Huisman, Ellen Burstyn and Kathy Baker. — Steve Schneider ALOHA **@@ Rated PG-13 Bradley Cooper plays Brian, an Air Force vet-turned-private military contractor who returns to Hawaii to negotiate a blessing from locals for a new Air Force base. Brian’s boss Carson (Bill Murray) wants to dominate outer space with satellites and rockets. Carson’s relationship with the Air Force is supposed to be mutually beneficial: They get access to his stuff, he gets legitimate support and space to operate. Danny McBride and Alec Baldwin have fun in extended cameos as Air Force officers. Writer/director Cameron Crowe’s story is a muddled bore. A love story between Brian and his Air Force liaison, peppy Allison (Emma Stone), is predictable. The only interesting relationship is between Brian and ex-girlfriend Tracy (Rachel McAdams); romantic feelings linger in spite of her marriage to Woody (John Krasinski) and two kids. — Dan Hudak BEYOND THE MASK Rated PG The action/drama is set in colonial times in early America, where an industrial spy/ assassin (Andrew Cheney) has taken refuge from the turmoil of his former life. Costars John Rhys-Davies, Kara Killmer and Alan Madiane. FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD Rated PG-13 Director Thomas Vinterberg blew it when he didn’t cast Tom Hardy in this latest adaptation of Thomas Hardy’s story. Carey Mulligan plays the central romantic fixation in a tale of love and courtship on a sheep farm. — S.S. HOME Rated PG HBO’s The Normal Heart showed Jim Parsons can handle more than The Big Bang Theory. So what did he choose for his all-important transition to mainstream cinema? Lilo and Sheldon! You can hear a whole mess of Dr. Cooper in his voicing of Oh, an alien who strikes up a friendship with a human girl. Any more safe moves like this, and I’ll claim a violation of our Roommate Agreement. — S.S. HOT PURSUIT **G@ Rated PG-13 Reese Witherspoon plays Cooper, a by-thebook San Antonio cop. Her boss, Captain Emmett (John Carroll Lynch), asks her to assist federal marshal Jackson (Richard T. Jones) to escort wanted criminal Felipe (Vincent Laresca) and his wife Daniella (Sofia Vergara) to Dallas to testify in

the trial of a drug lord (Joaquin Cosio). Soon the marshal and husband are dead, and Cooper and Daniella are framed for the murders, so they go on the run. Chasing them are crooked cops, thugs, and the state of Texas. — D.H. INSIDE OUT ***G Rated PG Reviewed in this issue. IRIS **** Rated PG-13 Albert Maysles’ last documentary explores the world of fashion, focusing on the life and 75-year legacy of 93-year-old haute couture icon Iris Apfel. Using reproductions of fabrics from the 17th, 18th and 19th century, Apfel parlayed her savvy sense of style into restoration projects. After nearly a century being a guiding force in haute couture, Apfel’s reflections and collective wisdom of a life of confident self-expression through outer appearance remain forever in season. “It’s always better to be happy than well-dressed.” — Daniel A. Brown JURASSIC WORLD **@@ Rated PG-13 Reviewed in this issue. LOVE & MERCY ***G Rated PG-13 The film jumps back and forth from ’80s-era Brian Wilson (John Cusack) to late ’50s/early ’60s Brian Wilson (beautifully underplayed by Paul Dano), when he was in the very successful California band, The Beach Boys, along with his brothers Carl (Brett Davern) and Dennis (Kenny Wormald), cousin Mike Love (Jake Abel) and family friend Al Jardine (Graham Rogers). The group, managed by Brian, Carl and Dennis’ rigid father Murry (Bill Camp), sang songs of summer fun – surfing, cars, girls, friends – regularly racking up No. 1 hits. Murry is especially hard on Brian, offering little praise to counter his physical and emotional brutality. In short, he’s a prick. It’s so sad that the adult Brian allowed himself to be maneuvered by Dr. Eugene Landy (Paul Giamatti), an even bigger prick; the astonishing drug abuse notwithstanding, it’s as if it’s the only kind of home he knew. Melinda Ledbetter (Elizabeth Banks) subtly and kindly guides Brian through his psychosis to eventually escape the maniacal clutches of the wack doctor. The method director Bill Pohlad uses to demonstrate the intensity and pervasiveness of these is unsettling; we ache for Brian’s sanity, but he’s got a sweet way about him and we’re left feeling that he’ll be just fine. — Marlene Dryden PITCH PERFECT 2 ***@ Rated PG-13 The a cappella girls are back in the sequel. This time, they’re off to the world championships in Copenhagen, where a German team reigns as the favorite. The opening performance number has Australian Fat Amy (Rebel Wilson) hanging inverted from a silk cloth in mid-air and, due to a rip in the material, unintentionally revealing a gift “from down under.” As expected, this eye-opener gets the Bellas in trouble, and banned from college competitions. To be reinstated, they have to win the world championships. Costars Anna Kendrick, Keegan Michael-Key, Skylar Astin, Brittany Snow, Adam DeVine, Ester Dean, Alexis Knapp, Hana Mae Lee, Chrissie Fit, Hailee Steinfeld and Elizabeth Banks, who also directed. — D.H. SAN ANDREAS Rated PG-13 A mighty earthquake lays waste to California. Helicopter pilot Dwayne Johnson watches in horror as L.A. takes the hit, then realizes what he’s dutybound to do: Fly up to San Fran to rescue the daughter who hates him. Ex-wife Carla Gugino is along for the ride, so there’s lots of healthy mutual recrimination. Director Brad Peyton makes San Andreas an acid test for launching an original franchise. — S.S. SPY Rated R Yet another Paul Feig/Melissa McCarthy collaboration, which casts her as a CIA agent in the thick of an international crisis. Costars Jude Law, Rose Byrne and Jason Statham. — S.S. TOMORROWLAND *G@@ Rated PG The movie starts with blatant Disney promos, gets lost in a convoluted story, forgets to include its star (George Clooney) for an hour, guilt-trips us with a lecture on how we don’t appreciate Earth, and ends with a bunch of faux science that makes no sense. The visual effects are glossy and cartoonish; everything looks profoundly fake. Everything about this is a disappointment. — D.H. YOU’RE STILL THE ONE Not Rated The Filipino and Tagalog language film stars Maja Salvador and Dennis Trillo.


A&E //ARTS

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS Current CUMMER exhibit is a profound meditation in history, heritage, and freedom

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nspired by the flight of African Americans from slavery during the Civil War, Whitfield Lovell’s current exhibition Deep River, on display at the Cummer Museum of Arts & Gardens through Sept. 13, is a multimedia masterpiece combining sculpture, video, drawing, sound, and music. “From a technological level, it is very unlike other exhibitions we’ve had here at the museum,” says the Cummer’s chief curator, Holly Keris. “So figuring out how to get multiple projectors and sound equipment working in a space that wasn’t really wired or configured to handle that become participants.” type of equipment was a big challenge.” The exhibition, organized by Hunter Museum, was recently shown at Telfair Keris and the museum’s director, Hope Museums in Savannah, Georgia before making McMath, have been big fans of Lovell’s work its way to Northeast Florida. for years. Back in 2003, the Cummer actually “Whether you are in the ‘Deep River’ part had some of his pieces on loan from the of the exhibition or simply spending time Smithsonian Institution for an exhibition of with his other pieces in the gallery, Whitfield African-American masters. provides few answers,” says Keris. “He’s “The premise for the exhibition was born combining these magnificent portraits with out of an experience that Whitfield had in reclaimed wood backing and these found Chattanooga when he was developing the objects and he’s telling a story, but he leaves it exhibition for the Hunter Museum,” Keris says up to you to think about what the story is.” of how Deep River came about. The Hunter Museum of American Art Keris admits having a full-scale, multimedia overlooks the Chattanooga River in Tennessee, exhibit such as Deep River proved to present similar to how the Cummer Museum is certain challenges, but the result was “incredibly located on the St. Johns River. rewarding.” Cummer had Lovell on hand toward “When Whitfield was spending time there, the end of the installation to provide guidance. he went to a place called Grand Contraband It was the 55-year-old, Bronx-born artist’s Camp, which is just on first visit to Florida. the far side of the river,” “My time there was WHITFIELD LOVELL: DEEP RIVER Keris explains. “It’s a all about work,” Lovell Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, place where, during the says of his trip south. Riverside, cummer.org Civil War, slaves would “The only thing I got to Through Sept. 13 escape to in search of do other than installing their freedom. A Union the show was eat out a encampment was located on the site of Camp couple of times and go antiquing, which is Contraband and so the slaves’ goal was to work for me because it’s how I get material for make it across the river and find freedom.” my exhibitions.” Deep River, which Lovell started work on in With the installation now complete, and 2012 and completed in 2013, incorporates 56 Lovell now back at home in New York and charcoal portraits presented on round wooden all hurdles cleared successfully, it’s time for disks inspired by his personal collection of Keris and her team to enjoy the reactions of studio photographs, tintypes, cabinet cards, museum visitors. “We’re hearing from a lot of people and postcards. These illustrated disks are displayed within an environment featuring that they find Deep River to be a personal, spiritual, meditative, and profound found objects, projected images, and music. experience,” Keris reports. “I became interested in installation art “Whitfield Lovell’s interest in the concept back in 1994,” says Lovell. “I wanted to engage of the search for freedom, the journey toward all of the senses, not just the visual. When you add things like aroma or sound — particularly freedom, and the crossing of a boundary is for all people of all times who are still music — it can be engaging and provide a struggling with exactly the same thing,” she richer understanding.” continues. “That’s really what makes it a In essence, it’s Lovell’s intention to create universal truth and a universal experience an experience for the observers. rather than being isolated to a particular “My objective is to remove the viewer moment in time.” from the gallery setting and transcend time and space,” he explains. “I want the viewers Kara Pound to immerse themselves into the artwork and mail@folioweekly.com JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 23


A&E // ARTS & EVENTS PERFORMANCE

CHUGGINGTON LIVE! The live-action, musical adaptation of the TV show is staged at 7 p.m. June 19 at the Times-Union Center’s Moran Theater, 300 Water St., Downtown, $22.50$57.50, 442-2929, artistseriesjax.org. ELVIS 80TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION World champion Elvis Presley impersonators Bill Cherry and Cody Slaughter celebrate the King’s 80th birthday, 7 p.m. June 20 at T-U Center’s Jacoby Hall, 633-3110, $33-$62, ticketmaster.com. BITS ’N’ PIECES PUPPET THEATRE A kid-geared production of Washington Irving’s Rip Van Winkle tale blends actors and puppeteers, 9:30 a.m. June 23 at Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Dr., Orange Park, 276-6750, $8, thcenter.org. SEUSSICAL THE MUSICAL Alhambra Theatre & Dining stages a family-geared revue, based on Dr. Seuss characters, June 24-Aug. 2. Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menu is featured; 12000 Beach Blvd., Southside, 641-1212, $35-$59, alhambrajax.com. HAIRSPRAY Theatre Jacksonville stages Tony-winning musical comedy about teen Tracy Turnblad in 1960s Baltimore, who dreams of being on a TV dance show, finding love and fighting segregation, 7:30 p.m. June 18, 8 p.m. June 19 and 20, and 2 p.m. June 21 at 2032 San Marco Blvd., 396-4425, $25; $20 seniors, military, students; through June 27, theatrejax.com. THE HIGHWAYMEN LIVE Alhambra Theatre & Dining presents a musical revue Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, and Waylon Jennings songs, 6 p.m. June 17-20; 11 a.m. June 20 and noon June 21 at 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, $64, alhambrajax.com. THE FOX ON THE FAIRWAY Amelia Community Theatre stages a modern-day farce at a country club during a golf tournament between rival clubs, 8 p.m. June 18-20 and 2 p.m. June 21 at 207/209 Cedar St., Fernandina Beach, 261-6749, $20; $10 students; through June 27, ameliacommunitytheatre.org. HELLO DOLLY Limelight Theatre stages Jerry Herman and Michael Stewart’s musical, about a brassy matchmaker, 7:30 p.m. June 18-20, 2 p.m. June 21 at 11 Old Mission Ave., St. Augustine, 825-1164, $25; through July 5, limelight-theatre.org. OSAGE: AUGUST COUNTY Players by the Sea stages Tracy Letts’ Pulitzer- and Tony-winning play, 8 p.m. June 18-20 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach, 249-0289, $23; $20 seniors, military, students; playersbythesea.org. THE ADDAMS FAMILY Orange Park Community Theatre offers a stage adaptation, based on characters of cartoonist Charles Addams, 8 p.m. June 19 and 20 and 3 p.m. June 21 at 2900 Moody Ave., 276-2599, $20; through June 28, opct.org.

CLASSICAL, CHOIR & JAZZ

NINTH ANNUAL ST. AUGUSTINE MUSIC FESTIVAL Six free classical music concerts are held June 18, 19 and 20 and June 25, 26 and 27 at Cathedral Basilica, 38 Cathedral Place, staugustinemusicfestival.org.

COMEDY

JIMMIE WALKER The comedian, “JJ” in the ’70s sitcom Good Times, appears at 8 p.m. June 17 and 18 and 8 and 10 p.m. June 19 and 20 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Rd., Mandarin, $12-$18, 292-4242, comedyzone.com. ROB HANEY The comic discusses parenthood, 8 p.m. June 19 and 7:30 and 10 p.m. June 20 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555, $15, latitude360.com.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS

HALL OF FAME NOMINATIONS Florida Commission on Human Relations accepts nominations for the Florida Civil Rights Hall of Fame; deadline July 15. For more info, go to http://fchr.state. fl.us/outreach/florida_civil_rights_hall_of_fame. JAX BY JAX The locally based literary organization accepts applications for its 2015 event; deadline Aug. 1, jaxbyjax.com. BEGINNING ACTING CLASSES Sinda Nichols holds classes 1-3 p.m. June 22 and 29 and July 6, 13, 20, 27 at Amelia Musical Playhouse, 1955 Island Walkway, Fernandina, 277-3455, $15 per class, ameliamusicalplayhouse.com. ART CLASS Ernani Silva offers “Art to Heal” 10 a.m. June 20 at Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Downtown, 632-5555.

ART WALKS & MARKETS

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Local and regional art, a free yoga session 9-10 a.m., local music – Brent Byrd & the Suitcase Gypsies, Nikki Talley, and Joseph Shuck starting 10:30 a.m. June 20 – food artists and a farmers’ row, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. under Fuller Warren Bridge, 715 Riverside Ave., free admission, 389-2449, riversideartsmarket.com. JAXSON’S NIGHT MARKET Street food vendors, craft beer, local farmers, and artisans and craft makers are featured 5:30-9 p.m. June 18 and every third Thur. at Hemming Park, Downtown, facebook.com/jaxsonsnightmarket. NORTH BEACHES ART WALK Galleries of Atlantic and Neptune beaches open 5-9 p.m. June 18 from Sailfish Drive to Neptune Beach and Town Center, 753-9594, nbaw.org.

MUSEUMS

AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378, ameliamuseum.org. Professor Jonathon Bryant discusses his book, Dark Places of the Earth: The Voyage of the Slave Ship Antelope, 6 p.m. June 19. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., 356-6857, cummer.org. Whitfield Lovell: Deep River is on display through Sept. 13. Reflections: Artful Perspectives on the St. Johns River, through Oct. 18. All Together: The Sculpture of Chaim Gross, through Oct. 4. British Watercolors exhibits through Nov. 29. Free admission 4-9 p.m. every Tue.; 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on the first Sat. of the month. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Springfield, 356-2992. The Art of Springfield , through June 27. The Addams Family: Part Two, through Aug. 26. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Downtown, 366-6911, mocajacksonville.com. Southern Exposure: Portraits of a Changing Landscape and In Time We Shall Know Ourselves: The Photographs of Raymond Smith, through Aug. 30. The Art Aviators Exhibition, through Aug. 16. Project Atrium: Angela Glajcar, through June 28. Phil Parker’s Assemblage/Collage in UNF Gallery through Aug. 30. Free admission 4-9 p.m. every Thur. through the summer.

GALLERIES

THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Downtown, 355-1757. Paco Gutierrez is June’s featured artist. Nature Series is displayed. THE ART INSTITUTE OF JACKSONVILLE 8775 Baypine Rd., Southside, 486-3000. The Portfolio Show is held 6-8 p.m. (5-6 p.m. for industry professionals, employers) June 18. BUTTERFIELD GARAGE ART GALLERY 137 King St., St. Augustine, 825-4577. Peter Rumpel’s new works, through June. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Juried Alumni Exhibition, through June 19. THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, 280-0614, ccpvb.org. Curatorial’s Choice Exhibition, through July 17. Anthony Whiting’s Visual Melodies in Unrestrained Colors is on display through July 17. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 2416928. The Sea Turtle Show is on display through July 6. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Rd., Southside. 535-7252. Caitlin Hurd’s Daydreams from Brooklyn, through June. HAWTHORN SALON 1011 Park St., Riverside, 619-3092, hawthorn salon.com. Sara Pedigo’s Brimming with Casual News, thru Aug. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 201 N. Hogan St., Ste. 100, Downtown, 553-6361, southlightgallery.com. Juried plein air exhibit, A New Leaf, through June 26. Raquel Tripp is June’s featured artist. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., 824-2310, staaa.org. The Honors Show is on display through July 5. VANDROFF ART GALLERY 8505 San Jose Blvd., 730-2100. The Paintings of Margaret Billesimo, through June. X.NIHILO 956 N. Liberty St., Downtown. Mequin, paintings by Dimelza Broche and Franklin Ratliff, through July 3.

EVENTS

WORLD’S LARGEST SWIMMING LESSON Teaching kids to swim to prevent drowning; 10 a.m. June 18,t Adventure Landing, 1944 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 246-4386, adventurelanding.com.

The juried plein air exhibit, A NEW LEAF (pictured, Pat Mahoney’s Around the Dunes,) is on display through June 26 at SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY, Downtown. 24 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

RABBIS’ CIVIL RIGHTS LETTER READING & COMMEMORATION “Why We Went to St. Augustine,” marking the 51st anniversary of the mass arrest of 17 Jewish Civil Rights activists, noon June 18 at Hilton Garden Inn Bayfront, 32 Avenida Menendez, St. Augustine, 804-914-4460. GO SKATE JAX The skateboard festival, at three venues, offers a tapping party, mini ramp, trick contest, skate prizes, DJs, street course, June 19, 20 and 21; goskatejax.com. JUNETEENTH CELEBRATION & FISH FRY The Association for the Study of African American Life & History offers fried fish, roast chicken, activities, living history performances, music, and games, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. June 19 at Jacksonville Historical Society, 317 Randolph Blvd., Downtown, 665-0064, $5 admission, suncityentertainment.com. JAMES WELDON JOHNSON CHAPTER CENTENNIAL BANQUET Keynote speaker Dr. Evelyn Bethune; 7-10 p.m. June 19 at Eagle’s Nest Banquet Hall, 8040 Lone Star Rd., Arlington, 924-7444, $50, suncityentertainment.com. NATURALIZATION CEREMONY 30 new American citizens from 17 countries take the pledge, 11 a.m. June 19 at Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Downtown. Celebration after the ceremony, noon-4 p.m. at Hemming Park, 630-2665, jaxpubliclibrary.org. GUIDED KAYAK TOURS St. Johns County Recreation & Parks Dept. offers guided kayak tours, 10 a.m. June 19 at Trout Creek Park, 6795 Collier Rd., St. Augustine, $20 St. Johns County residents; $30 non-residents, (with their own kayak); $40 per person to rent a kayak. Seats are limited; 209-0348. WILD WONDERS’ ANIMAL ADVENTURES FOR KIDS Stories and hands-on time with 17 mammals and reptiles, 11 a.m. June 20 at Dutton Island Preserve Pavilion, 2001 Dutton Island Dr., Atlantic Beach, 247-5828, coab.us/events. POKER RUN Fifth annual motorcycle poker run fundraiser includes four stops, money prizes, games, a raffle, and auction, June 20 starting at American Legion Post 233, 560 N. Wilderness Trail, Ponte Vedra; registration 10 a.m.-noon, last bike in 5 p.m. $10 entry includes raffle, food; 285-2484. Proceeds benefit Lassen Veterans Nursing Home. ULTIMATE FRISBEE Jacksonville Cannons face Atlanta Hustle, 6 p.m. June 20 at Trinity Christian Academy, 800 Hammond Blvd., Northside; single game $10, jaxcannons.com. GO SKATE DAY [SK8] PARK 2015 Kona Skate Park and PB&J present skate competitions by pro skaters, roller derby girls, live music, art show, chopper show, food trucks, antique car show, noon-8 p.m. June 20, 11 a.m.-5 p.m. June 21 at Hemming Park, 303 N. Laura St., konaskatepark.com. THE BATTLE OF BLOODY MOSE Annual reenactment of the 1740 battle, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. June 20 and 21 at Fort Mose Historic State Park, 15 Mose Trail, St. Augustine, 823-2232, $2 adult; kids 6 and under free, floridastateparks.org/park/Fort-Mose. TEEN DIVERSITY LEADERSHIP PROGRAM OneJax’s Metrotown Institute, a 4-day program for teens entering grades 10-12, June 22-25, Riverside Presbyterian Church, 849 Park St. $150 fee includes lunch, snacks, dinner on last night. Students must be referred or endorsed by a sponsor – parent, teacher, counselor, clergy, community leader. 620-1529, onejax.org. BOOK SIGNING Author Siggy Buckley discusses I Once Had a Farm in Ireland: Living the Organic Lifestyle, 5:30 p.m. June 23 at Main Library, Downtown, 630-2665, jaxpubliclibrary.org. CIGAR CITY BEER DINNER Chef Ryan pairs a 6-course meal with 7 Cigar City Brewing beers, 6 p.m. June 23,Kitchen on San Marco, 1402 San Marco Blvd., $60, 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. FREE SCREENINGS FOR PRE-K Specialists from Nemours BrightStart! program offer reading readiness screenings for ages 3-5, noon-2 p.m. June 24 at Dallas Graham Branch Library, 2304 N. Myrtle Ave., Springfield, 630-0922, jaxpubliclibrary.org. BARBARA CAMERON The author discusses One True Path, 6:30 p.m. June 25, South Mandarin Branch Library, 12125 San Jose Blvd., 288-6385, jaxpubliclibrary.org. HUMAN TRAFFICKING DISCUSSION Sponsored by World Affairs Council, scholars from Jacksonville University and University of North Florida discuss human trafficking, 6:45 p.m. June 25, Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Southside, 630-4655, jaxpubliclibrary.org. JACKSONVILLE CHILDREN’S COMMISSION SEEKS SUMMER FOOD SITES The Children’s Commission seeks community partners through Aug. 7 to help serve free lunches and snacks to alleviate child hunger in low-income neighborhoods in a safe, effective and efficient manner. To qualify, the site must be in an area where there’s a school with at least 50 percent of its students enrolled in the free and reduced lunch program, allow access to all neighborhood children, and provide the food free of charge. To apply, go to jaxkids.net. JACKSONVILLE SUNS Our Suns kick off a homestand against the Biloxi Shuckers, 7:05 p.m. June 25 (Thursday Night Throwdown), June 26 (Team Card Set Giveaway, Bloodmobile, Report Card Night), and June 27 (Mary Frances Bragan Bobble Arm Giveaway), 3:05 p.m. June 28 (Ed Randall’s Bat for the Cure, Kids Run the Bases, Racing Day), and 12:05 p.m. June 29 (Camp Day). Bragan Field, Baseball Grounds, 301 Randolph Blvd., Downtown. Tickets $7.50-$25.50; 358-2846, jaxsuns.com. JR. WATERMAN’S SUMMER CAMP Black Creek Guides holds sessions July 6-10, 27-31, Aug. 3-7, 10-14 and 17-21, SUP lessons, paddle/watersports, safet/techniques, ages 7-15. blackcreekguides.com. ART CAMP Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens has camp for elementary and middle school kids, featuring printing, drawing, painting, and clay working, 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri. through July 24. $200; $140 members, 356-6857, cummer.org. DEPRESSION/BIPOLAR SUPPORT The local chapter of the nonprofit Depression Bipolar Support Alliance meets 6-7:30 p.m. every Tue. at Baptist Hospital Pavilion, fifth floor, Rm. 3, 800 Prudential Dr., Southbank, dbsalliance.org.


A&E // MUSIC

Local neo-psych heads MOTHER SUPERIOR offer an uneven yet worthwhile release

SONIC DEATH W

nods to early Flaming Lips with the ultra-lowhen you see an album called Noise pitched vocal interjections. There’s the use of Destroys, you expect cacophony. There a Casio sounding beat during each verse that are, in fact, several clamorous moments punctuates the fun nature of the track. The over the course of Mother Superior’s newest vocals have a nasally timbre and lyrics work album and it’s even a raucous rejection of in a distracting manner that leaves the listener overproduction, but it is accessible. The band guessing as to whether it’s the satirical side of embraces the fatuous side of music without being the band or not. gimmicky — the only things that straddle the line of novelty are the lyrics and vocal style. The The second song, “Tentacle,” is among album, released on Infintesmal Records, contains the songs that feature the band’s bedroom eight tracks with a run time of just under 26 psych sensibilities; it’s the direction you minutes. It’s available for digital download via hope they continue to go. There is a fuzzy, Bandcamp and tangibly as a limited-edition tremolo-sounding guitar riff that has an cassette (mothersuperior.bandcamp.com, old-school overdrive feel harking back to infintesmalrecords.bandcamp.com, facebook. early psychedelia. The song follows a nice com/mothersuperioritycomplex). trajectory and is an ideal soundscape of Mother Superior is a three-piece from Mother Superior’s vocal style and proclivity Neptune Beach — Mitch Wylie, Austen Kane, for interjections of noise. The next two tracks, Josh Dick — that formed in “Manifest Destiny (Pomo)” 2005, went on an extended and “Don’t Drone Me Bro” HOT SCREAMS, MOTHER hiatus in 2007 and then also incorporate those SUPERIOR, JEFF HULL reformed in 2013. In true DIY appealing bedroom psych 8 p.m. June 19, Burro Bar, fashion, the band recorded elements, making this threeDowntown, $5 Noise Destroys at home on a song stretch an album within Tascam DP-01 8-track recorder. the album. In an effort to thwart convention, they dressed “Wookiee Summer Camp,” the fifth their pop songs in dissonance and effects like song, is a standout track. It’s really fuzzy, pitch-bended vocals, detuned guitars, the use has a prominent bass hook and a danceable of broken amplifiers and even some clings and drumbeat. The song marries the bedroom clangs created with old-fashioned pots and psych elements of earlier tracks with the pop pans. At its best moments, the experimentation elements that “Girl, I’ve Been Working” tries is fun and inventive, at others, distracting — for. This song plays to the band member’s but it’s all fitting, as discord seems to be an strengths and would be the ideal candidate inherent aspect of Mother Superior’s delivery. for a single, despite Wylie’s sentiment, “Today, There are obvious influences like pre-The people want singles. We want to bring back Soft Bulletin Flaming Lips and the Butthole the idea of an album.” Despite the feeling, Surfers, but there is a rich spirit of ’60s garage “Wookiee Summer Camp” is the ideal rock that brings to mind bands like The Knaves introduction to Mother Superior. The following and Teenage Shutdown. It’s also hard not to track is “Henry the XIII,” a throwback to 2006. think of the lo-fi indie rock acts that started The song had been a staple in their live set and popping up in the ’90s. Depending on the song, they liked the old recording enough to include there are several contemporary acts that you it as is. It’s a simple distorted throwdown could compare them to as well, ranging from and makes sense on Noise Destroys, even at Windmill to Wavves. nine years old. The seventh track, “No,” is an The album opener, “Girl, I’ve Been interesting divergence, but feels unfinished. Working,” starts with a spoken introduction: The last track, “Seagull Song,” is beyond even inane and is the most incohesive moment on “This is a story about me growing up and the album. It will be interesting to see where learning some important lessons about what Mother Superior ultimately takes their sound. it means to be a man.” Whatever those lessons are, they’re not apparent. The pop romp is Brenton Crozier has its catchy moments and there are obvious mail@folioweekly.com JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 25


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A&E // MUSIC

L.A. alt-industrial, dark wave rockers THE DREAMING create latest release via long-distance digital

TRANCE ENCOUNTERS

I

Currently based out of Los Angeles, n 1985, Western Illinois University students The Dreaming counts bands like Muse, Christopher Hall and Walter Flakus The Birthday Massacre, Nine Inch Nails, formed the industrial rock band Stabbing Ministry, and The Cure as influences. There’s Westward. Over the next 17 years, the group, also that whole Stabbing Westward element which eventually became a quartet and still prevalent. sometimes a quintet, put out such uplifting “Even though it’s three of the SW guys, albums as Ungod, Wither, Blister, Burn & the other guys in the band contribute a Peel, and Darkest Days. lot and it would be unfair to them and the “The Dreaming is a reunion of Stabbing fans to try and sell it as SW,” Hall explains. Westward’s founding members,” Hall explains “There’s a good chance that we will put of his current musical project, which was together a legit SW tour at some point. founded in 2002. “It formed a week before But for now, this is a cool hybrid of The SW broke up. Johnny [Haro] and I had Dreaming and SW. Best of both worlds.” already started working on new songs with the end of Stabbing When he is asked Westward written large how the sounds of the on the wall.” two bands differ, Hall THE DREAMING, DIE SO FLUID, The Dreaming says of The Dreaming, DANCING WITH GHOSTS, KILO KAHN, currently comprises “It is more organic INNER DEMONS 6 p.m. June 21, 1904 Music Hall, Hall (vocals), Haro with great live drums. Downtown, $10-$25 (VIP), (drums), Walter Flakus It has more of a gobigentertainment.net, 1904musichall.com (keys, programming), songwriter approach Carlton Bost (guitar), as opposed to an and Franccesca De electronic, monotone Struct (bass). The group makes their way to chord approach.” 1904 Music Hall this weekend in support He continues, “I’m a much better singer of their third album, Rise Again, which was than I was back then simply because I’ve released in February on Metropolis Records. grown comfortable with who I am and “It was all done long distance via I’ve stopped trying to compete with other Dropbox,” Hall says of the new record. bands at being dark and heavy. I have a “Walter and Carlton would trade music files strong nice voice and I’ve finally learned to back and forth and I would chime in with embrace that instead of cover it up opinions and add vocals. It all came together with screaming.” in the studio with Rhys Fulber mixing. He On the road since the end of May, and I did a lot of additional production and The Dreaming will be crisscrossing the editing. He’s an awesome producer.” United States — from Colorado to North The new record, co-written by Hall, Carolina — certainly displaying copious Flakus and Bost, was given a middle-of-theamounts of black eyeliner, black attire, and road three-and-a-half “skullz” out of five by no shortage of ink. RockRevolt Magazine. “The drive to get from Southern “Rise Again is a perfect segue from California to the Midwest was a brutal three previous Puppet, keeping that hard-driving, days, but most of the drive for the next few alternative industrial sound. As predicted, weeks are more reasonable, so I look forward their sound incorporates rock, electronic, to sleeping,” Hall told Folio Weekly after a hot dark wave, in emotional rock ‘n’ roll,” wrote and humid sound check in St. Louis. “We RockRevolt in an online review. “Although are just really happy to be out on the road the lyrics are thoughtful, and the production playing music and hanging out with fans.” of the music is excellent, there is not much Kara Pound variation from song to song.” mail@folioweekly.com

28 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015


Electronic, chillbient head ARCHNEMESIS (pictured) performs with MZG, DAMBALLA, and CAT PARTY at Freebird Live June 19 in Jax Beach.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC CONCERTS THIS WEEK DENNY BLUE 6 p.m. June 17 at Paula’s Beachside Grill, 6896

A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463. MUSIC by the SEA: THE GRAPES OF ROTH Music 7 p.m.; dinner available from Zaharias, 6 p.m., June 17 at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org. SPADE McQUADE 6 p.m. June 17 & 24 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub, Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176, Downtown, 374-1247. BRONCHO, LE ORCHID, The YOUNG STEP 8 p.m. June 17 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 398-7496, $10. BE EASY 7:30 p.m. June 18 at Latitude 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., Southside, 365-5555. LINDA SHILBY CD Release Party: Mike Burns, Jason Hensely, Anne McKennon, Jeffrey Parker, Dan Lopes, Mark Collins, Chris Hull, Bill Belemy 7 p.m. June 18 at Mudville Music Room, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., San Marco, 352-7008, $10. CHRONIXX, ZINCFENCE REDEMPTION, FEDERATION SOUND, MAX GLAZER, DJ RAGGAMUFFIN, DJ STYLISH, DJ BLAQUE 9 p.m. June 18 at Puff Ultra Lounge, 923 University Blvd. N., Arlington, 442-4104, $35-$50, ticketfly.com. BLUE MUSE 9 p.m. June 18 at The Parlour (behind Grape & Grain), 2000 San Marco Blvd., San Marco, 396-4455. DENNY BLUE 5 p.m. June 19 at Milltop Tavern, 19 St. George St., St. Augustine, 829-2329. The SOMETHINGS, LOVE NECTAR, HEAD FULL of WEIGHT 8 p.m. June 19 at 1904 Music Hall, 19 N. Ocean St., Downtown, $7 advance; $9 day of. ARCHNEMESIS, MZG, DAMBALLA, CAT PARTY 8 p.m. June 19 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach, 246-2473, $10. ACE WINN 8 p.m. June 19 at Fionn MacCool’s Irish Pub. JENNI REID album release, ASHLEIGH DAVIS 8 p.m. June 19, Jack Rabbits, $10. 418 BAND 8 p.m. June 19 at The Jacksonville Landing, Downtown, 353-1188. HOT SCREAMS, MOTHER SUPERIOR, JEFF HULL 8 p.m. June 19 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Downtown. BLONDE AMBITION 8:30 p.m. June 19 & 20, Latitude 360. SPICE & The PO BOYS 9 p.m. June 19, The Parlour. LOVE MONKEY 10 p.m. June 19 & 20 at The Roadhouse, 231 Blanding Blvd., Orange Park, 264-0611. CAPTAIN OBVIOUS 10 p.m. June 19 & 20 at Flying Iguana, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680. Riverside Arts Market: BRENT BYRD & THE SUITCASE GYPSIES, NIKKI TALLEY, JOSEPH SHUCK 10:30 a.m. June 20 at 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449. SeaWalk Music Festival: SPLIT TONE, BE EASY, HERD of WATTS, JACKSONVEGAS, DOWN HOME BAND, MAMA BLUE, KIM RETEGUIZ & the BLACK CAT BONES, DARYL HANCE TRIO Noon-9 p.m. June 20, SeaWalk Pavilion, on the ocean, Jax Beach, free admission. OBLIVIOUS SIGNAL, RED CALLING, LAWLESS HEARTS, DEAR ABBEY 8 p.m. June 20, Burro Bar.

EMMA MOSELEY BAND 8 p.m. June 20, Freebird Live, $8. LUKE WADE, BABY BEE, The STATES 8 p.m. June 20, Jack Rabbits, $10. HOUSE CATS 9 p.m. June 20, The Parlour. The DREAMING, DIE SO FLUID, DANCING with GHOSTS, KILO KAHN, INNER DEMONS 6 p.m. June 21, 1904 Music Hall, $10-$25 (VIP). SOUTHERN MISCONDUCT, STATUS FAUX, BACKWATER BIBLE SALESMEN 8 p.m. June 21, Jack Rabbits, $8. THE LOST PROJECT, SUNSPOTS, COMPLICATED ANIMALS, STRONG GUYS 8 p.m. June 21, Burro Bar. SKYELOR ANDERSON 8 p.m. June 23, Jack Rabbits, $8. MUSIC by the SEA: OH NO Dinner available from Seafood Kitchen, 6 p.m. food service, concert 7 p.m. June 24 at St. Augustine Beach Pier & Pavilion, 350 A1A Beach Blvd., free, 347-8007, thecivicassociation.org. ROD HAMDALLAH 8 p.m. June 24, Burro Bar. JOHN DAHLBACK 8 p.m. June 24, Freebird Live, $15.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

SURFER BLOOD, TURBO FRUITS June 25, Jack Rabbits JOSHUA BOWLUS June 25, The Parlour OTTMAR LIEBERT & LUNA NEGRA June 26, P.V. Concert Hall PIERCE PETTIS June 26, Mudville Music Room HALEY MAE CAMPBELL, ELI the POET June 26, Jack Rabbits MISS MASSIVE SNOWFLAKE, BUSDRIVERS (REUNION), GOV CLUB June 26, Burro Bar FUNKY BUTT BLUES BAND June 26, The Parlour NATURAL INSTINCTS June 26 & 27, The Roadhouse STYX June 26, The Florida Theatre FOR KING & COUNTRY June 27, Christ Church Southside MANNA ZEN, TRIBE & TRUTH, BLEEDING IN STEREO, DEAD DEADS June 27, Freebird Live DERAY DAVIS & EARTHQUAKE June 27, The Florida Theatre MICHAEL RENO HARRELL June 27, Mudville Music Room JULIANNE HOUGH & DEREK HOUGH June 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre RAVEN CLIFF, SNAKE BLOOD REMEDY June 27, Jack Rabbits JOHN CHAPMAN’S RAISIN CAKE ORCHESTRA June 27, The Parlour BRYAN ADAMS June 28, St. Augustine Amphitheatre MIKE SHACKELFORD Acoustic Night June 28, Bull Park AURORA, The HAIL BOP GROUP June 28, Jack Rabbits RUM REBELLION June 29, Burro Bar SAY ANYTHING, MODERN BASEBALL, CYMBALS EAT GUITARS, HARD GIRLS July 1, Underbelly DON McLEAN July 2, The Florida Theatre SWEET CRUDE July 2, 1904 Music Hall KABAKA PYRAMID & IBA MAHR, The BEBBLE ROCKERS July 2, Café Eleven CHILLY RHINO July 3 & 4, The Roadhouse The FRITZ July 4, Freebird Live The CONVALESCENCE, BESIDE The SILENCE, DENIED TIL DEATH July 5, Jack Rabbits Warped Tour: ALIVE LIKE ME, AS IT IS, BABY BABY, ARGENT, BEAUTIFUL BODIES, BEING AS AN OCEAN, BLACK BOOTS, BLACK VEIL BRIDES, BLESSTHEFALL,

BORN CAGES, KOO KOO KANGA ROO, BOYMEETSWORLD, CANDY HEARTS, ESCAPE The FATE, FAMILY FORCE 5, FIT FOR a KING, HANDGUNS, HANDS LIKE HOUSES, I KILLED The PROM QUEEN, KOSHA DILLZ, LE CASTLE VANIA, LEE COREY OSWALD, M4SONIC, MATCHBOOK ROMANCE, NECK DEEP, NIGHT NIGHT RIOTS, PALISADES, SPLITBREED, The RELAPSE SYMPHONY, TRANSIT, The WONDER YEARS, TROPHY EYES, WHILE SHE SLEEPS, YOUTH in REVOLT July 6, Morocco Shrine Auditorium R5: SOME TIME LAST NIGHT, JACOB WHITESIDES, RYLAND July 7, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts The JAHMEN, SIGNAL FIRE, The ELLAMENO BEAT July 8, Jack Rabbits BJ BARHAM (Aquarium), BRETT BASS (Grandpa’s Cough Medicine) July 9, Jack Rabbits SHAGGY July 9, Mavericks at The Landing NEW KINGSTON, SUNDRIED VIBES, CLOUD 9 VIBES, DJ RAGGAMUFFIN July 10, Freebird Live ASKMEIFICARE July 10, The Roadhouse BARENAKED LADIES, VIOLENT FEMMES, COLIN HAY July 11, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BETWEEN The BURIED & ME, ANIMALS as LEADERS, The CONTORTIONISTS PLANETRAWK, INNER DEMONS July 11, Jack Rabbits METAL MONDAZE: CLASSHOLE, HANG UP YOUR BOOTS, RUSTY COIL July 13, Shantytown Pub SHANIA TWAIN July 15, Veterans Memorial Arena AMERICAN IDOL LIVE July 15, The Florida Theatre CHROME HEART July 17 & 18, The Roadhouse MODEST MOUSE July 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND, PIANO, TOM BENNETT BAND July 17, Jack Rabbits LEGIT July 17, Freebird Live ROB BELL July 18, T-U Center MARY MARY & FRIENDS July 18, T-U Center STARBENDER July 18, Jack Rabbits PATO BANTON July 18, Freebird Live ROBERT EARL KEEN & HIS BAND July 19, P.V. Concert Hall E.N. YOUNG (The Tribal Seeds) July 21, Jack Rabbits CHELSEA SADDLER, COLTON McKENNA July 21, Café Eleven SLIGHTLY STOOPID, DIRTY HEADS, STICK FIGURE July 23, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The CRAZY DAYSIES July 24, Freebird Live HELLZAPOPPIN July 24, Mavericks at The Landing KEIKO MATSUI July 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall KACEY MUSGRAVES July 24, The Florida Theatre PURE PRAIRIE LEAGUE, FIREFALL, ATLANTA RHYTHM SECTION July 25, The Florida Theatre UNKNOWN HINSON, RUSTY SHINE July 25, Jack Rabbits Connection Festival: 311, JULIAN MARLEY, MATISYAHU, BALLYHOO!, NEW YORK SKA-JAZZ ENSEMBLE, WHOLE WHEAT BREAD, STANK SAUCE, SKYWATER, JAH ELECT & THE I QUALITY BAND, CLOUD 9 VIBE, ASKMEIFICARE, HOLEY MISS MOLEY, YAMADEO, HERD OF WATTS, WESTER JOSEPH’S STEREO VUDU July 25, Metropolitan Park ROB THOMAS, PLAIN WHITE T’s July 25, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC Live the magic all over again with world champion Elvis Presley impersonators Cody Slaughter (pictured) and Bill Cherry during THE KING’S 80th BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION on June 20 at the Times-Union Center’s Jacoby Hall.

JAKE MILLER, JASMINE, ALEX ANGELO July 26, Freebird Live PLANES MISTAKEN for STARS, ZULU WAVE, DREDGER July 27, Shanghai Nobby’s FIFTH HARMONY, DEBBY RYAN & The NEVER ENDING, NATALIE LA ROSE, BEA MILLER July 28, The Florida Theatre EMMET CAHILL July 29, Culhane’s Irish Pub ROCKY VOTOLATO, DAVE HAUSE, CHRIS FARREN July 29, Jack Rabbits WHITESNAKE July 31, The Florida Theatre MEDAL MILITIA (Metallica tribute), SHOT DOWN in FLAMES (AC/DC tribute), FOREVER OUR RIVALS July 31, Freebird Live KING SUNNY ADE & his AFRICAN BEATS July 31, PV Concert Hall MY MORNING JACKET, MINI MANSIONS Aug. 1, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The STOLEN, AVENUES Aug. 1, Jack Rabbits LENNY COOPER Aug. 1, Mavericks at The Landing COUNTING CROWS, CITIZEN COPE, HOLLIS BROWN Aug. 2, St. Augustine Amphitheatre AUTHORITY ZERO, COUNTERPUNCH, RUBEDO, ONE SMALL STEP Aug. 2, Jack Rabbits SCARAB (Journey tribute) Aug. 6, Freebird Live

BHAGAVAN DAS Aug. 7-9, Karpeles Museum GENERAL TSO’S FURY, BRICKS GRENADE Aug. 7, Jack Rabbits Elvis Anniversary Bash: MIKE ALBERT, SCOT BRUCE & The BIG E BAND Aug. 8, The Florida Theatre JOY BLOODY JOY, URSULA Aug. 8, Jack Rabbits CHRISTINA PERRI, COLBIE CAILLAT, RACHEL PLATTEN Aug. 11, The Florida Theatre UNIVERSAL SIGH Aug. 12, Jack Rabbits HippieFest 2015: The FAMILY STONE, RICK DERRINGER, MITCH RYDER & The DETROIT WHEELS, BADFINGER & JOEY MOLLAND Aug. 13, The Florida Theatre KULT OV AZAZEL, SECRETS SHE KEPT, NEVERBAPTIZED, SATURNINE, The NOCTAMBULANT Aug. 13, Burro Bar NO MORTAL BEFORE, PALM TREES & POWER LINES Aug. 14, Jack Rabbits JIM LAUDERDALE & HIS BAND Aug. 14, P.V. Concert Hall HOR!ZEN Aug. 14, The Roadhouse The ROCKY HORROR SHOW Aug. 14 & 15, 21 & 22, 1904 Music Hall DARYL HANCE, EUGENE SNOWDEN Aug. 14, Underbelly Women Who Rock Show: MAMA BLUE, KIM RETEGUIZ & The

BLACK CAT BONES, The CAT McWILLIAMS BAND Aug. 15, Freebird Live SUBLIME WITH ROME, REBELUTION, PEPPER, MICKEY AVALON Aug. 16, St. Augustine Amphitheatre “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC Aug. 16, The Florida Theatre NASHVILLE PUSSY, VALIENT THORR Aug. 16, Jack Rabbits COMMUNITY CENTER Aug. 18, Jack Rabbits LYLE LOVETT & HIS LARGE BAND Aug. 20, Thrasher-Horne Center for the Arts TIM McGRAW, BILLY CURRINGTON, CHASE BRYANT Aug. 20, Veterans Memorial Arena Campout Concert Series: STRATOSPHERE ALL-STARS, SIR CHARLES, ZOOGMA, GREENHOUSE LOUNGE X2, DYNO HUNTER, VLAD the INHALER, MZG, S.P.O.R.E., BELLS & ROBES, MATTHEW CONNOR Aug. 21 & 22, Suwannee Music Park CLAY WALKER Aug. 22, Mavericks at The Landing LEISURE CRUISE Aug. 24, Jack Rabbits DONOVAN FRANKENREITER Aug. 25, Freebird Live The OUTLAWS, BLACKHAWK Aug. 28, The Florida Theatre TRIBAL SEEDS, The EXPANDERS, ARISE ROOTS Aug. 28, Mavericks at The Landing STEVE FORBERT TRIO Aug. 29, Mudville Music Room RICK SPRINGFIELD, LOVERBOY, The ROMANTICS Aug. 30, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ALICE COOPER Sept. 1, The Florida Theatre NICKELBACK Sept. 1, Veterans Memorial Arena PONCHO SANCHEZ Sept. 5, Ritz Theatre & Museum GWAR, BUTCHER BABIES, BATTLECROSS Sept. 9, Freebird Live DOYLE BRAMHALL II Sept. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall LUKE BRYAN, RANDY HOUSER, DUSTIN LYNCH Sept. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena RUNAWAY GIN The Sept. 18, Freebird Live REO SPEEDWAGON Sept. 24, The Florida Theatre DELBERT McCLINTON Sept. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRITTANY SHANE Sept. 25, Mudville Music Room BOOKER T. JONES Oct. 3, Ritz Theatre & Museum AMELIA ISLAND JAZZ FEST Oct. 8-15, Fernandina Beach ANI DiFRANCO Oct. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall RANDY WESTON’S AFRICAN RHYTHMS Oct. 10, Ritz Theatre BONZ (Stuck Mojo), A.M.M. Oct. 10, Jack Rabbits The VIBRATORS Oct. 11, Jack Rabbits The Princess Bride: AN EVENING WITH CARY ELWES Oct. 11, The Florida Theatre NEW FOUND GLORY, YELLOWCARD, TIGERS JAW Oct. 13, Mavericks The WINERY DOGS Oct. 14, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NOAH GUNDERSON Oct. 14, Colonial Quarter CHRIS TOMLIN, REND COLLECTIVE Oct. 16, Veterans Memorial Area SUZANNE VEGA Oct. 16, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall The SENSES, The PHILTERS Oct. 16, Jack Rabbits DEF LEPPARD, FOREIGNER, NIGHT RANGER Oct. 17, Veterans Memorial Arena LITTLE BIG TOWN, DRAKE WHITE & The BIG FIRE Oct. 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre The CHARLIE DANIELS BAND Oct. 22, The Florida Theatre TAB BENOIT Oct. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MARCIA BALL & HER BAND, AMY SPEACE Oct. 23, P.V. Concert Hall MARK KNOPFLER Oct. 27, St. Augustine Amphitheatre ALL HANDS ON DECK Nov. 8, The Florida Theatre REVEREND PEYTON’S BIG DAMN BAND, BRYCE ALASTAIR BAND Nov. 8, Jack Rabbits ADRIAN LEGG, DAVID LINDLEY Nov. 12, P.Vedra Concert Hall AMERICA Nov. 13, Thrasher-Horne Center JAKE SHIMABUKURO Nov. 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall STRAIGHT NO CHASER Nov. 17, The Florida Theatre The DIRTY DOZEN BRASS BAND, NEW BREED BRASS BAND Nov. 21, Ritz Theatre & Museum This is Not a Test Tour: TOBYMAC, BRITT NICOLE, COLTON DIXON, HOLLYN Nov. 22, Veterans Memorial Arena SCOTT BRADLEE’S POSTMODERN JUKEBOX Nov. 28, Florida Theatre RONNIE MILSAP Nov. 29, The Florida Theatre LUCERO Dec. 3, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall NICHOLAS PAYTON Dec. 5, Ritz Theatre & Museum KANSAS Dec. 6, The Florida Theatre LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III Dec. 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BRIAN REGAN Dec. 13, The Florida Theatre A JOHN WATERS CHRISTMAS Dec. 15, The Florida Theatre The TEN TENORS Dec. 22, The Florida Theatre JOHN SEBASTIAN Jan. 8, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CHRISTIAN McBRIDE Jan. 16, Ritz Theatre & Museum The TEMPTATIONS, The FOUR TOPS Jan. 21, Florida Theatre PATTY GRIFFIN, SARA WATKINS, ANAIS MITCHELL Feb. 13, The Florida Theatre SUN RA ARKESTRA Feb. 20, Ritz Theatre & Museum BLACK VIOLIN March 3, Ritz Theatre & Museum ROGER McGUINN March 4, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall CECILE McLORIN SALVANT March 31, Ritz Theatre NAJEE April 9, Ritz Theatre & Museum

LIVE MUSIC CLUBS

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049 John Springer every Tue.-Wed. Aaron Bing 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Buck Smith Thur. Yancy Clegg Sun. Vinyl Record Nite every Tue. SLIDERS, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652 Digital skyline June 20. Live music every Wed.-Sun. SURF RESTAURANT, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

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AVONDALE, ORTEGA

CASBAH CAFÉ, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores 9 p.m. every Wed. Live jazz every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave. KJ Free 9 p.m. every Tue. & Thur. Indie dance 9 p.m. every Wed. ’80s & ’90s dance at 9 p.m. every Fri.

LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC

The SeaWalk Music Festival features performances by JACKSONVEGAS (pictured), SPLIT TONE, THE BAND BE EASY, HERD OF WATTS, DOWN HOME BAND, MAMA BLUE, KIM RETEGUIZ & THE BLACK CAT BONES, and DARYL HANCE TRIO at Jacksonville Beach’s SeaWalk Pavilion on June 20.

THE BEACHES

(All venues in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Billy Bowers 5:30 p.m. June 18, noon June 21 BLUE WATER ISLAND GRILL, 205 First St. N., 249-0083 Danka, Ghetto by the Sea June 18 BRASS ANCHOR PUB, 2292 Mayport Rd., Ste. 35, Atlantic Beach, 249-0301 Joe Oliff 8 p.m. June 17. Live music most weekends CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 249-9595 Jax Pipes & Drums 7 p.m. June 20 ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884 Steve & Carlos 6 p.m. June 18 FLASK & CANNON, 528 First St. N. De Lions of Jah every Wed. FLYING IGUANA, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 853-5680 Captain Obvious 10 p.m. June 19 & 20. Cody Nix June 21. Red Beard & Stinky E every Thur. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 Sailfish Dr. E., A.B., 246-4293 Go Get Gone June 20. Live music most weekends FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Archnemesis, MZG, Damballa, Cat Party 8 p.m. June 19. Emma Moseley Band 8 p.m. June 20. John Dahlback 8 p.m. June 24. Manna Zen, Of Tribe & Truth, True Violet, Bleeding in Stereo, Dead Deads June 27 HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815 Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. Dan Evans, Spade McQuade 6 p.m. every Sun. Back From the Brink 9 p.m. every Mon. LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., N.B., 249-2922 Scott Verville June 19. Live music every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Sidereal 10 p.m. June 20. Dirty Pete Wed. Split Tone Thur. Ryan Crary, Johnny Flood Sun. Be Easy Mon. Ryan Campbell Tue. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., 246-1500 Continuum 10 p.m. June 18. Live music every Wed.-Sat. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., N.B., 249-5573 Neil Dixon every Tue. Gypsies Ginger every Wed. Mike Shackelford & Steve Shanholtzer every Thur. MONKEY’S UNCLE, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Cupid’s Alley June 19 NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 372-4105 Dan Evans June 18. Neil Dixon June 19. Live music every Thur.-Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., A.B., 247-0060 Taylor Roberts 7 p.m. June 17 & 18 RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7877 Live music Thur.-Sun. SLIDERS SEAFOOD GRILLE, 218 First St., N.B., 246-0881 Jimmi Mitchell 6 p.m. June 19. Live music 6 p.m. every Thur., 6:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. WIPEOUTS GRILL, 1589 Atlantic Blvd., N.B., 247-4508 Amy Vickery 7 p.m. June 18. Anton Laplume 9:30 p.m. June 19 WORLD OF BEER, 311 N. Third St., 372-9698 Live music every Fri. & Sat. ZETA BREWING COMPANY, 131 First Ave. N., 372-0727 Live music every Wed.-Sun.

DOWNTOWN

1904 MUSIC HALL, 19 Ocean St. N. GPO, Eli the Poet June 17. The Somethings, Love Nectar, Head Full of Weight 8 p.m. June 19. The Dreaming, Die So Fluid, Dancing with Ghosts, Kilo Kahn, Inner Demons June 21 BURRO BAR, 100 E. Adams St. Hot Screams, Mother Superior, Jeff Hull 8 p.m. June 19. Oblivious Signal, Red Calling, Lawless Hearts, Dear Abbey 8 p.m. June 20. The Lost Project, Sunspots, Complicated Animals, Strong Guys June 21. Rod Hamdallah 8 p.m. June 24. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth St., 354-0666 BlackJack every Wed. DJ Brandon every Thur. DJs spin dance music every Fri. DJ NickFresh Sat. DJ Randall 9 p.m. Mon. DJ Hollywood Tue. FIONN MacCOOL’S, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1247 Spade McQuade 6-9 p.m. June 17 & 24. Ace Winn 8 p.m. June 19. Live music every Wed.-Sun. JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., 353-1188 418 Band 8 p.m. June 19. Latina Hot Summer June 20 MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay, 355-5099 DJ Roy Luis every Wed. DJ Vinn every Thur. DJ 007 every Fri. Bay Street every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jax Landing, 356-1110 Hard Target 6 p.m. June 20. Joe Buck, DJ Justin every Thur.-Sat. UNDERBELLY, 113 E. Bay St., 699-8186 Beartoe, Jeff Thompson, Secret Cigarettes, Dead Woods June 17. Great Peacock June 18. Susto June 21. Native Lights June 24

MANDARIN, JULINGTON

DAVE’S MUSIC BAR & GRILL, 9965 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 48, 575-4935 Dan Raymond June 19. Johnny Bravo 6 p.m., Blues Jam 9 p.m. June 26. Bonnie & Clyde every Tue. Open jam every Wed. Joe G & Friends every Thur. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Scott Verville June 22. Open jam Blues Monday 7 p.m. every Mon. SAUCY TACO, 450 S.R. 13, 287-8226 Stu Weaver June 20

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CLUB RETRO, 1241 Blanding Blvd., 579-4731 ’70s & ’80s dance 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DJ Capone every Wed. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael plays piano every Tue.-Sat. PREVATT’S SPORTS BAR, 2620 Blanding Blvd., 282-1564 Live music every Sat. DJ Tammy 9 p.m. every Wed. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Love Monkey 10 p.m. June 19 & 20. Natural Instincts June 26 & 27. Live rock music 10 p.m. every Wed. DJ Big Mike 10 p.m. every Thur. Live rock every Fri. & Sat.

Midlife Crisis 7 p.m. June 19. Deron Baker 2 p.m., Ain’t Too Proud to Beg 7 p.m. June 20. Vinny Jacobs 2 p.m. June 21 DOS COFFEE & WINE, 300 San Marco Ave., 342-2421 Jazz every Sun. HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers 6 p.m. June 17. John Dickey June 18. Ivan Smith June 19. Caleb Joye June 20. Jim Asselta June 21. Stu Weaver June 22. Katherine Archer June 23. Rob Ellis Peck June 24 MILL TOP TAVERN, 19 St. George St., 829-2329 Brady Clampitt 9 p.m. June 17. Out to Play Boys 5 p.m. June 18. 2/3rds Band 9 p.m. June 19 & 20. Denny Blue 5 p.m. June 19. John Winters 1 p.m., Cash Colley 5 p.m. June 21 PAULA’S BEACHSIDE GRILL, 6896 A1A S., Crescent Beach, 471-3463 Denny Blue open mic jam 6-9 p.m. June 17 TRADEWINDS LOUNGE, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Spanky June 19 & 20. Live music 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

INDOCHINE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 503-7013 Dance Radio Underground, Sugar & Cream, Black Hoodie, Bass Therapy Sessions, Allan GIz-Roc Oteyza, TrapNasty, Cry Havoc, every Sat.

PONTE VEDRA

PUSSER’S GRILLE, 816 A1A N., 280-7766 Ryan Crary June 17. Rebecca Day June 20. Live music every Fri. & Sat. TABLE 1, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 Banks & Smith June 17. Gary Starling June 18. Chicos Lobos June 19. Paxton & Mike June 20 & 24

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

ACROSS THE STREET, 948 Edgewood Ave. S., 683-4182 Happy faced Mistakes June 20. Backwater Bible Salesmen open mic 8 p.m. every Mon. DJ Rafiki every Tue. MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., 388-7807 Spoken, Random Hero, Just Bein Ian 8 p.m. June 17. Reconcile, Corey Paul, Json, Alex Faith 8 p.m. June 20 RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969 Von Strantz June 17. Ajani, Jesse Carole Montoya June 19 RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET, 715 Riverside Ave., 389-2449 Brent Byrd & the Suitcase Gypsies, Nikki Talley, Joseph Shuck starting 10:30 a.m. June 20

ST. AUGUSTINE

BARLEY REPUBLIC, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023 Live local music every Thur.-Sun. THE CELLAR UPSTAIRS, 157 King St., 826-1594 SMG 2 p.m.,

FLEMING ISLAND

WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Live music 9 p.m. June 19 & 20. Conch fritters June 21. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Throwback 8 p.m. every Thur. Deck music every Fri., Sat. & Sun.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BULL TAVERN, 7217 Atlantic Blvd., 724-2337 Highway Jones June 20 CLIFF’S Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 The Remains 9 p.m. June 19 & 20. Live music every Fri. & Sat. JERRY’S Sports Grille, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., 220-6766 A1A North June 19. Retro Katz June 20. Live music every Fri. & Sat. YOUR PLACE, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 RadioLove 9 p.m. June 18

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LIVE + LOCAL MUSIC JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Broncho, Le Orchid, The Young Step 8 p.m. June 17. Jenni Reid Album Release, Ashleigh Davis June 19. Luke Wade, Baby Bee, The States June 20. Southern Misconduct, Status Faux, Backwater Bible Salesmen June 21. Skyelor Anderson June 23. Surfer Blood, Turbo Fruits June 25 MUDVILLE MUSIC ROOM, 3104 Atlantic Blvd., 352-7008 Linda Shilby CD release party: Mike Burns, Jason Hensley, Anne McKennon, Jeffrey Parker, Dan Lopes, Mark Collins, Chris Hull, Bill Belemy 7 p.m. June 18. Lee Hunter June 25 THE PARLOUR, 2000 San Marco Blvd., 396-4455 Blue Muse 9 p.m. June 18. Spice & the Po Boys June 19. House Cats June 20. Jesse Carole Montoya June 24. Live music every Thur.-Sat. RIVER CITY BREWING COMPANY, 835 Museum Circle, 3982299 Live music 8 p.m., Steve & Eden 10 p.m. every Fri.

SOUTHSIDE, BAYMEADOWS

BAHAMA BREEZE, 10205 River Coast Dr., 646-1031 Tropico Steel Drums June 17 CORNER BISTRO, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., 619-1931 Matt Hall every Wed.-Sat. Steve Wheeler every Fri. LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 DJ Trdmrk 5 p.m., Steeltown Religion 7 p.m. June 17. Be Easy 7:30 p.m.,

DJ Dahn 10:30 p.m. June 18. Darrel Rae 5 p.m., Blonde Ambition 8:30 p.m. June 19 & 20 MY PLACE BAR & GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 Fat Cactus every Mon. Live music 9 p.m. every night OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730 Taylor Roberts, Chris Thomas June 21 PUFF ULTRA LOUNGE, 923 University Blvd. N., 442-4104 Chronixx, Zincfence Redemption, Federation Sound, Max Glazer, DJ Raggamuffin, DJ Stylish, DJ Blaque June 18 WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows Rd., 634-7208 Mark Parisi 7 p.m. June 20. Live music every Wed.-Sun. WILD WING CAFÉ, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Chris Brinkley June 17. Open mic June 18. Rusted Diamond June 19. The Confluent June 20. Live music every Fri. & Sat. WORLD OF BEER, 9700 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 1, 551-5929 Ryan Crary June 18. Derrick Dorsey Band 9 p.m. June 19. Mitch Kuhman June 21. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

SHANTYTOWN, 22 W. Sixth St., 798-8222 One Eight Seven, Status Faux, Rehab Holiday 8 p.m. June 20 THREE LAYERS COFFEEHOUSE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Casey Weston June 18. RadioLove, CJ Fluharty at 5 p.m. June 19. Open mic held every Thur.

THE KNIFE

HEARING VOICES

JACKSONVILLE SONGWRITER JENNI REID recently sent a friendly note to Folio Weekly requesting coverage for her upcoming album release show on Friday, June 19 at Jack Rabbits in San Marco. A link to her webpage was made available, so I went there to listen to some of her older tunes and get a preview of the new album, Cynical Romantics. Almost immediately, a conversation began in my mind, one between the asshole music critic and the softer-hearted dad. This is a snapshot of that conversation.

THE KNIFE

Me: Her homepage has a list of products she endorses in bold blue type. She can’t possibly be under contract with all of these companies. Me: Relax. She’s got a nice smile, and she uses Taylor guitars. I bet you wish you had an endorsement deal with Taylor. Me: Touché.

Me: She is a decent finger-picker. I mean, the intro to “When I Sleep,” off her album From Empty Pages, is really nice. “Wring You Out,” off the same record, is also very cool. Pretty powerful, for a love song. A kind of rednecky romance. But she sure does yodel a lot. And she does that affected growl thing, too. Like she’s Danny Joe Brown or something. Me: You really gonna throw in a Molly Hatchet reference here? Me: Well, they were from Jacksonville. And she is … growling. Me: Look, there are a thousand female singer/ songwriters out there. She’s trying to carve out her own space in the market. If she can growl or yodel, and throws it in for effect, then let her go for it. She’s in her early 20s, man. Give her a break. Me: OK, but Jewel yodeled, and it drove me nuts when she did it. Goddamned yodeling. Me: You’re an asshole. Me: I know. Me: The new record, Cynical Romantics. Sounds like she’s using a full band instead of the barebones approach she took on her other records. Sounds more pop-country than acoustic folk. Me: You hate pop-country. Me: Yes. Yes, I do. Me: But “This Time (When You’re Mine)” has a Kelly Clarkson vibe. And you love Kelly Clarkson. Me: Did you just say that in print? Me: Yep. Me: Dammit.

32 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

Me: “You’ll Find Me” has a cello in it. And it gets pretty heavy in parts. You like that. Me: Yeah, actually. That’s pretty cool. I like what I’ve heard of that one. Too bad the sample is so short. Sounds like it gets pretty rocking. Me: Reid says her influences are Johnny Cash and Elvis. You like Johnny Cash. Me: Love him. But, Elvis? After 1960, he just started sucking. No one ever wants to admit that. I mean, ’50s Elvis = Awesome. The rest of it was garbage. Me: Oh, no. She also likes John Mayer. Me: No comment. Me: Her upcoming show, like her new album, will feature a full band, which marks her first time doing this. Me: That’s cool. Her solo live stuff sounds pretty good. I mean, she performs it well. Hope she pulls in some good musicians for the performance. Crappy musicians will destroy this stuff. Though I’m not a huge fan of the pop-country direction she seems to be going in, it does require a tight ensemble. Me: I won’t disagree with you on that point. Me: How gracious of you. Me: Shut the hell up. Me: Where can people buy Cynical Romantics upon its June 19 release? Me: At jennireidmusic.com, iTunes, and Amazon. Me: Does this last exchange seem fabricated, for expositional purposes only? Me: A little. Yes. Me: But it gets the info out there. Me: Indeed. Me: Have a nice day. Me: Shut the hell up. John E. Citrone theknife@folioweekly.com


Experience smiling service and the tasty fare you’re familiar with at the Orange Park location of Applebee’s Grill & Bar. Photo by Dennis Ho

DINING DIRECTORY AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

29 SOUTH EATS, 29 S. Third St., 277-7919, 29south restaurant.com. F In historic downtown, Chef Scotty Schwartz serves traditional regional cuisine with a modern twist. $$ L Tue.-Sat.; D Mon.-Sat.; R Sun. BARBERITOS, 1519 Sadler Rd., 277-2505. 463867 S.R. 200, Ste. 5, Yulee, 321-2240, barberitos.com. F Southwestern fare; burritos, tacos, quesadillas, salsa. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BRETT’S Waterway Café, 1 S. Front St., 261-2660. F Southern hospitality, upscale waterfront spot; daily specials, fresh local seafood, aged beef. $$$ FB K L D Daily CAFÉ KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269, cafekaribo.com. F Family-owned spot in historic building. Veggie burgers, seafood, made-from-scratch desserts. Dine in or on oak-shaded patio. Karibrew Pub next door. $$ FB K TO R, Sun.; L D Daily CHEZ LEZAN Bakery Co., 1014 Atlantic Ave., 491-4663, chezlezanbakery.com. Fresh European-style breads, pastries: croissants, muffins, cakes, pies. $ TO B R L Daily CIAO Italian Bistro, 302 Centre St., 206-4311, ciaobistroluca.com. Owners Luka and Kim Misciasci offer fine dining: veal piccata, rigatoni Bolognese, antipasto. Specialties: chicken Ciao, homemade meat lasagna. $ L Fri., Sat.; D Nightly DAVID’S Restaurant & Lounge, 802 Ash St., 310-6049, amelia islanddavids.com. Fine dining in historic district. Fresh seafood, prime aged meats, rack of lamb. $$$$ FB D Wed.-Mon. DICK’S Wings & Grill, 474313 E. S.R. 200, 491-3469. 450077 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0993. BOJ. SEE PONTE VEDRA. ELIZABETH POINTE Lodge, 98 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-4851, elizabethpointelodge.com. F BOJ winner. Award-winning B&B. Seaside dining, inside or out. Hot buffet breakfast daily. Homestyle soups, sandwiches, desserts. $$$ BW B L D Daily JACK & DIANE’S, 708 Centre St., 321-1444, jackanddianes cafe.com. F In renovated 1887 shotgun house. Jambalaya, French toast, mac-n-cheese, vegan/vegetarian items. Dine in or on porch. $$ FB K B L D Daily LULU’S at Thompson House, 11 S. 7th St., 432-8394, lulusamelia.com. F Po’boys, salads, local seafood, local shrimp. Reservations. $$$ BW K TO R Sun.; L D Tue.-Sat. MARCHÉ BURETTE, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 491-4834, omnihotels.com. Old-fashioned gourmet food market and deli, in the Spa & Shops, Omni Amelia Island Plantation. Continental breakfast; lunch features flatbreads. $$$ BW K TO L D Daily MOON RIVER PIZZA, 925 S. 14th St., 321-3400, moon riverpizza.net. F BOJ winner. Northern-style pizzas, 20+ toppings, by the pie or the slice. $ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE MUSTARD SEED CAFÉ, 833 TJ Courson Rd., 277-3141, nassaushealthfoods.net. Casual organic eatery, juice bar, in Nassau Health Foods. All-natural organic items, smoothies, juice, herbal tea. $$ TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE PECAN ROLL Bakery, 122 S. Eighth St., 491-9815, the pecanrollbakery.com. F The bakery, near the historic district, offers sweet and savory pastries, cookies, cakes, bagels and breads, all made from scratch. $ K TO B L Wed.-Sun. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 450102 S.R. 200, Callahan, 879-0101, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE.

PLAE, 80 Amelia Village Cir., 277-2132, plaefl.net. Bite Club. Bistro-style venue serves whole fried fish, duck breast. Outside. $$$ FB L Tue.-Sat.; D Nightly THE SALTY PELICAN Bar & Grill, 12 N. Front St., 277-3811, thesaltypelicanamelia.com. F BOJ winner. 2nd-story outdoor bar. Owners T.J. and Al offer local seafood, Mayport shrimp, fish tacos, po’boys, cheese oysters. $$ FB K L D Daily SLIDERS Seaside Grill, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6652, slidersseaside.com. F Oceanfront; handmade crab cakes, fresh seafood, fried pickles. Outdoor dining, open-air 2nd floor, balcony. $$ FB K L D Daily TASTY’S FRESH Burgers & Fries, 710 Centre St., 321-0409, tastysamelia.com. Historic district. Freshest meats, hand-cut fries, homemade sauces, hand-spun shakes. $ BW K L D Daily T-RAY’S Burger Station, 202 S. Eighth St., 261-6310. F BOJ winner. In an old gas station; blue plate specials, burgers, biscuits & gravy, shrimp. $ BW TO B L Mon.-Sat. THE VERANDAH, 6800 First Coast Hwy., 321-5050, omni hotels.com. Extensive menu of fresh local seafood and steaks; signature entrée is Fernandina shrimp. Many herbs and spices are from onsite garden. $$$ FB K D Nightly

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

DICK’S Wings, 9119 Merrill Rd., 745-9300. BOJ. SEE P. V. LARRY’S SUBS, 1301 Monument Rd., 724-5802. F SEE O.P.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

FLORIDA CREAMERY, 3566 St. Johns Ave., 619-5386. Premium ice cream, waffle cones, milkshakes, sundaes and Nathan’s grilled hot dogs, served in a Florida-centric décor. Low-fat and sugar-free choices. $ K TO L D Daily THE FOX Restaurant, 3580 St. Johns Ave., 387-2669. F Owners Ian & Mary Chase offer fresh diner fare: burgers, meatloaf, fried green tomatoes, desserts. Breakfast all day. Local landmark for 50+ years. $$ BW K L D Daily HARPOON LOUIE’S, 4070 Herschel St., Ste. 8, 389-5631, harpoonlouies.net. F Locally owned and operated for 20+ years, the American pub serves 1/2-pound burgers, fish sandwiches, pasta. Local beers. $$ FB K TO L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 3611 St. Johns Ave., 388-0200. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO NO. 4 Urban BBQ & Whiskey Bar, 3572 St. Johns Ave., 381-6670. F BOJ. SEE BEACHES. PINEGROVE Market & Deli, 1511 Pine Grove Ave., 389-8655, pinegrovemarket.com. F BOJ. For 40+ years, burgers, Cuban sandwiches, subs, wraps. Onsite butcher cuts USDA choice prime aged beef. Craft beers. $ BW TO B L D Mon.-Sat. To get your restaurant listed here, just call your account manager or Sam Taylor at 904.260.9770 ext. 111 or staylor@folioweekly.com.

DINING DIRECTORY KEY

Average Entrée Cost $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer/Wine FB = Full Bar K = Kids’ Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast R = Brunch L = Lunch D = Dinner Bite Club = Hosted free FW Bite Club tasting. fwbiteclub.com. 2014 Best of Jax winner F = FW distribution spot

RESTAURANT ORSAY, 3630 Park St., 381-0909, restaurant orsay.com. BOJ winner. French/Southern bistro; emphasis on locally grown organic ingredients. Steak frites, mussels, pork chops. Snail of Approval. $$$ FB K R, Sun.; D Nightly SIMPLY SARA’S, 2902 Corinthian Ave., 387-1000, simply saras.net. F Down-home fare, from scratch: eggplant fries, pimento cheese, baked chicken, fruit cobblers, chicken & dumplings, desserts. BYOB. $$ K TO L D Mon.-Sat., B Sat.

BAYMEADOWS

AKEL’S, 7825 Baymeadows Way, 733-4040. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S Pizza, 8060 Philips, Ste. 105, 731-4300. F SEE BEACHES. BROADWAY Ristorante & Pizzeria, 10920 Baymeadows Rd. E., 519-8000, broadwayfl.com. F Family-owned-&operated. Wings, calzones, brick-oven-baked pizza, subs. $$ BW K TO L D Daily INDIA’S Restaurant, 9802 Baymeadows., Ste. 8, 620-0777, indiajax.com. F BOJ. Authentic cuisine, lunch buffet. A variety of curries, vegetable dishes, lamb, chicken, shrimp, fish tandoori. $$ BW L Mon.-Sat.; D Nightly LARRY’S, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., 737-7740. 8616 Baymeadows Rd., 739-2498. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 11030 Baymeadows Rd., 260-2791. SEE MANDARIN. PATTAYA THAI Grille, 9551 Baymeadows, Ste. 1, 646-9506, ptgrille.com. Family-owned Thai place serves traditional fare, vegetarian, new-Thai; curries, seafood, noodles, soups. Lowsodium, gluten-free, too. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun. SAUSAGE PARADISE Deli & Bakery, 8602 Baymeadows Rd., 571-9817, spjax.com. F This innovative new spot offers a variety of European sausages, homestyle European dinners, smoked barbecue, stuffed cheeseburgers. $$ TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE WELL Watering Hole, 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9, 737-7740, thewellwateringhole.com. New bistro has local craft beers, wines by the glass or bottle, champagne cocktails. Meatloaf sandwiches, pulled Peruvian chicken, homestyle vegan black bean burgers. $$ BW K TO D Tue.-Sat. WHISKEY JAX, 10915 Baymeadows, Ste. 135, 634-7208, whiskeyjax.com. New gastropub has craft beers, burgers, handhelds, tacos, whiskey. $$ FB L D Sat. & Sun.; D Daily. ZESTY INDIA, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 329-3676, zesty india.com. Asian/European fare; tandoori lamb chops, rosemary tikka. Vegetarian cooked separately. $ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

BEACHES

(Locations are in Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

AL’S PIZZA, 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-0002, alspizza.com. F New York-style, gourmet pizzas, baked dishes. All-day happy hour Mon.-Thur. $ FB K TO L D Daily ANGIE’S SUBS, 1436 Beach Blvd., 246-2519. ANGIE’S GROM, 204 Third Ave. S., 246-7823. F BOJ winner. Subs made with fresh ingredients for more than 25 years. One word: Peruvian. Huge salads, blue-ribbon iced tea. $ BW TO L D Daily BEACHSIDE Seafood Restaurant & Market, 120 Third St. S., 444-8862, beachsideseafood.info. Full fresh seafood market; baskets, fish tacos, daily fish specials, Philly

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DINING DIRECTORY cheesesteaks. Dine indoors. on second-floor open-air deck. $$ BW K TO L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 2400 S. Third St., Ste. 201. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. BREEZY Coffee Shop Café, 235 Eighth Ave. S., 241-2211, breezycoffeeshopcafe.com. Casual, familyowned. Fresh baked goods, espres sos, locally roasted Costa Rican organic/Breezy Bold coffees, vegan/glutenfree options. Sandwiches, local beer, wine, mimosas. $ BW K TO R L Daily BUDDHA THAI Bistro, 301 10th Ave. N., 712-4444, buddhathaibistro.com. Proprietors are from Thailand; every authentic dish is made with fresh ingredients. $$ FB TO L D Daily CANTINA MAYA Sports Bar & Grille, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-3227. F Popular spot serves margaritas, Latin food, burgers. Sports on TVs. $$ FB K L D Tue.-Sun. CULHANE’S Irish Pub, 967 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 2499595, culhanesirishpub.com. F Bite Club. Upscale pub owned and run by County Limerick sisters. Shepherd’s pie, corned beef; gastropub fare. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L Fri.-Sun.; D Tue.-Sun. ESPETO Brazilian Steakhouse, 1396 Beach Blvd., 388-4884, espetosteakhouse.com. Just relocated, serving beef, pork, lamb, chicken, sausage; full menu, bar fare, craft cocktails, Brazilian beers. $$ FB D Daily EUROPEAN STREET Café, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. FLYING IGUANA Taqueria & Tequila Bar, 207 Atlantic Blvd., N.B., 853-5680 F Latin American, Southwest tacos, seafood, carnitas, Cubana sandwiches. 100+ tequilas. $ FB L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 320 First St. N., 372-0815, harmoniousmonks.net. F SEE MANDARIN. LARRY’S, 657 Third St. N., 247-9620. F SEE ORANGE PARK. LILLIE’S Coffee Bar, 200 First St., N.B., 249-2922, lilliescoffeebar.com. F Locally roasted coffee, eggs, bagels, flatbreads, sandwiches, desserts. Dine inside or out, patio, courtyard. $$ BW TO B L D Daily THE LOVING CUP HASH HOUSE, 610 Third St. S., 422-0644. New place has locally sourced fare, locally roasted coffee, gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian, healthful dishes – no GMOs or hormones allowed. $ K TO B R L Tue.-Sun. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1018 Third St. N.,

tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos, local fried shrimp, in modern open-air space. $$ FB K TO L D Daily SLIDERS Seafood Grille & Oyster Bar, 218 First St., N.B., 246-0881, slidersseafoodgrille.com. Popular beachcasual spot. Faves: Fresh fish tacos, gumbo. Key lime pie, ice cream sandwiches. $$ FB K L Sat. & Sun.; D Nightly SNEAKERS Sports Grille, 111 Beach Blvd., 482-1000, sneakerssportsgrille.com. BOJ winner. 20+ beers on tap, TVs, cheerleaders. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. $ FB K L D Daily SURFWICHES Sandwich Shop, 1537 Penman Rd., 241-6996, surfwiches.com. Craft sandwich shop has steaks and hoagies made to order. $ BW TO K L D Daily TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-8226, tacolu.com. BOJ winner. Fresh, Baja-style fare: fish tacos, tequila (more than 135 kinds) and mezcal. Bangin’ shrimp, carne asada, carnitas, daily fresh fish selections. Madefresh-daily guacamole. $$ FB K R Sat. & Sun.; L D Tue.-Fri.

DOWNTOWN

AKEL’S Delicatessen, 21 W. Church St., 665-7324, akelsdeli.com. F New York-style deli offers freshly made subs (3 Wise Guys, Champ), burgers, gyros, breakfast bowls, ranchero wrap, vegetarian dishes. $ K TO B L Mon.-Fri. THE CANDY APPLE Café & Cocktails, 400 N. Hogan St., 353-9717. Sandwiches, entrées, salads. $$ FB K L, Mon.; L D Tue.-Sun. CASA DORA, 108 E. Forsyth St., 356-8282. F Chef Sam Hamidi has been serving genuine Italian fare for 35+ years: veal, seafood, gourmet pizza. The homemade salad dressing is a specialty. $ BW K L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. CHOMP CHOMP, 106 E. Adams St., 762-4667. F Chefinspired street food: panko-crusted chicken, burgers, chinois tacos, bahn mi and barbecue. $ L Tue.-Sat.; D Thur.-Sat. FIONN MacCOOL’S Irish Pub & Restaurant, Jax Landing, Ste. 176, 374-1547, fionnmacs.com. Casual dining with an uptown Irish atmosphere, serving fish and chips, Guinness lamb stew and black-and-tan brownies. $$ FB K L D Daily OLIO Market, 301 E. Bay St., 356-7100, oliomarket.com. F From-scratch soups, sandwiches. Home to duck grilled cheese, seen on Best Sandwich in America. $$ BW TO B R L Mon.-Fri. SWEET PETE’S, 1922 Pearl St., 376-7161. F All-natural sweet shop has candy made of all natural flavors, no artificial anything. Several kinds of honey. $ TO Daily

GRILL ME!

J. DANIEL ALTMAN

The Loving Cup Hash House, 610 3rd St. S., Jacksonville Beach BIRTHPLACE: Jacksonville, Florida YEARS IN THE BIZ: 12 FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Central BBQ, Memphis, TN BEST CUISINE STYLE: Local ingredients with an international influence GO-TO INGREDIENTS: Chorizo (It's the bacon of Mexico!), cheese of all kinds, bacon, pico de gallo IDEAL MEAL: A perfect burger with a porter or stout, blue cheese kettle chips, and surrounded by friends. Company makes the meal! WON’T CROSS MY LIPS: I'll try pretty much anything; yes, I've eaten cockroaches! INSIDER’S SECRET: A positive attitude and good vibes can be the best seasoning

Ste. 2, 241-5600, mellowmushroom.com. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. Hoagies, gourmet pizzas: Mighty Meaty, vegetarian, Kosmic Karma. 35 tap beers. Nonstop happy hour. $ FB K TO L D Daily METRO DINER, 1534 Third St. N., 853-6817. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MEZZA Restaurant & Bar, 110 First St., N.B., 249-5573, mezzarestaurantandbar.com. F Near-the-ocean spot, 20+ years. Casual bistro fare: gourmet wood-fired pizzas, nightly specials. Dine inside, on patio. $$$ FB K D Mon.-Sat. MOJO KITCHEN BBQ Pit, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636, mojobbq.com. F BOJ winner. Pulled pork, beef, chicken, Carolina-style barbecue, Delta fried catfi sh, sides. $$ FB K TO L D Daily M SHACK, 299 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-2599, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ winner. Burgers, hot dogs, fries, shakes. $$ BW L D Daily NORTH BEACH Bistro, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, A.B., 372-4105, nbbistro.com. F Bite Club. Chef-driven kitchen; hand-cut steaks, fresh local seafood, tapas. Happy Hour. $$$ FB K R Sun.; L D Daily OCEAN 60 Wine Bar, Martini Room, 60 Ocean Blvd., A.B., 247-0060, ocean60.com. BOJ winner. Continental cuisine, fresh seafood, dinner specials, seasonal menu in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. POE’S TAVERN, 363 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7637. Gastropub, 50+ beers, gourmet hamburgers, ground in-house, cooked to order; hand-cut French fries, fish tacos, Edgar’s Drunken Chili, daily fish sandwich special. $$ FB K L D Daily RAGTIME Tavern & Seafood Grill, 207 Atlantic Blvd., A.B., 241-7877, ragtimetavern.com. F For 30+ years, iconic seafood place has served blackened snapper, sesame tuna, Ragtime shrimp. Daily happy hour. $$ FB L D Daily SALT LIFE Food Shack, 1018 Third St. N., 372-4456, saltlife foodshack.com. BOJ winner. Specialty items: signature

34 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

ZODIAC Bar & Grill, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283, thezodiacbarandgrill.com. Mediterranean cuisine, American fare, paninis, vegetarian dishes. Daily lunch buffet. Espressos, hookahs. Happy hour Wed.-Sat. $ FB L Mon.-Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 1915 East-West Pkwy., 541-0009. F BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. MELLOW MUSHROOM Pizza Bakers, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MOJO SMOKEHOUSE, 1810 Town Center Blvd., Ste. 8, 264-0636. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198, whiteysfishcamp.com. F Real fish camp. Gator tail, freshwater catfish, daily specials, on Swimming Pen Creek. Tiki bar. Come by boat, bike or car. $ FB K TO L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly YOUR PIE, 1545 C.R. 220, Ste. 125, 379-9771, yourpie. com. F Owner Mike Sims’ idea: Choose from 3 doughs, 9 sauces, 7 cheeses, 40+ toppings. 5 minutes in a brick oven and ta-da: It’s your pie. Subs, sandwiches, gelato. $$ BW K TO L D Daily

INTRACOASTAL WEST

AL’S Pizza, 14286 Beach, Ste. 31, 223-0991. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 13201 Atlantic Blvd., 220-5823. SEE MANDARIN DICK’S, 14286 Beach Blvd., 223-0115. F BOJ. SEE P.V. LARRY’S, 10750 Atlantic, Ste. 14, 642-6980. F SEE O.P. OCEANA DINER, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 374-1915, oceanadiner.com. Traditional American diner fare served in a family atmosphere. $ K TO B L Daily TIME OUT Sports Grill, 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 223-6999, timeoutsportsgrill.com. F Locally-ownedand-operated. Hand-tossed pizzas, wings, wraps. Daily


DINING DIRECTORY drink specials, HDTVs, pool tables. Late-nite menu. $$ FB L Tue.-Sun.; D Nightly

F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S PIZZA, 1620 Margaret St., 388-8384. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 8635 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 201, 771-0000. 6251 103rd St., 772-9020. 843 Lane Ave. S., 378-5445.

JULINGTON CREEK

DICK’S, 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 101, 825-4540. BOJ winner. SEE

SEE MANDARIN.

BLACK SHEEP Restaurant, 1534 Oak St., 355-3793, black sheep5points.com. New American with a Southern twist; locally sourced ingredients. Rooftop bar. $$$ FB R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily BOLD BEAN Coffee Roasters, 869 Stockton St., Stes. 1 & 2, 855-1181. BOJ winner. F Small-batch, artisanal coffee roasting. Organic, fair trade. $ BW TO B L Daily BREW FIVE POINTS, 1024 Park St., 714-3402, brewfive points.com. F Local craft beer, espresso, coffee and wine bar. Rotating drafts, 75+ canned craft beers; sodas, tea. Rotating seasonal menu of waffles, pastries, toasts, desserts to pair with specialty coffees, craft beers. $$ BW

PONTE VEDRA.

METRO DINER, 12807 San Jose Blvd., 638-6185. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO.

MANDARIN, NW ST. JOHNS

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA, 650 Park Ave., 269-1007, aronspizza. com. F Family-owned restaurant has eggplant dishes, manicotti, New York-style pizzas. $$ BW K TO L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 1540 Wells Rd., 269-2122. BOJ. SEE P.V. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959, hilltop-club. com. Southern-style fine dining. New Orleans shrimp, certified Black Angus prime rib, she-crab soup, desserts. Extensive bourbon selection. $$$ FB D Tue.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1330 Blanding Blvd., 276-7370. 1545 C.R. 220, 278-2827. 700 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 15, 272-3553. 1401 S. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs, 284-7789, larryssubs.com. F For 30-plus years, they’ve piled ’em high and served ’em fast. Hot/cold subs, soups. $ K TO B L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 1330 Blanding Blvd., Ste. 170, 213-9744, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611, roadhouseonline.net. F For 35-plus years, the rock & roll bar for locals has been serving wings, sandwiches, burgers, quesadillas; 75-plus imported beers. A large craft beer selection is also available. $ FB L D Daily SNACSHACK, 179 College Dr., Ste. 19, 682-7622, snacshack.menu. F The new bakery and café offers bagels, muffins, breads, cookies, brownies and snack treats. $$ K BW TO B, L & D Daily

PONTE VEDRA

AL’S PIZZA, 635 A1A N., 543-1494. F SEE BEACHES. DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 100 Marketside Ave., 829-8134, dickswingsandgrill.com. F BOJ winner. NASCARthemed; 365 kinds of wings, 1/2-lb. burgers, ribs. $ FB K TO L D Daily LARRY’S SUBS, 830 A1A N., 273-3993. F SEE ORANGE PARK. PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766, pussersusa.com. F BOJ winner. Bite Club. Caribbean cuisine, regional faves: Jamaican grilled pork ribs, Trinidad smoked duck, lobster macaroni & cheese dinner. Tropical drinks. $$ FB K TO L D Daily RESTAURANT MEDURE, 818 A1A N., 543-3797, restaurantmedure.us. Chef David Medure offers global flavors. Small plates, creative drinks, happy hour. $$$ FB D Mon.-Sat.

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

13 GYPSIES, 887 Stockton St., 389-0330, 13gypsies.com. BOJ winner. Authentic Mediterranean peasant cuisine updated for American tastes; tapas, blackened octopus, risotto of the day, coconut mango curry chicken. $$ BW L D Tue.-Sat. AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 245 Riverside Ave., 791-3336.

PONTE VEDRA.

EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 2753 Park St., 384-9999. BOJ winner. 130+ import beers, 20 on tap. NYC-style Reuben, sandwiches. Outside dining at some. $ BW K L D Daily GRASSROOTS Natural Market, 2007 Park St., 384-4474, thegrassrootsmarket.com. BOJ winner. F Juice bar; certified organic fruits, vegetables. 300+ craft/import

BITE-SIZED

photo by Dennis Ho

AKEL’S Delicatessen, 12926 Gran Bay Pkwy. W., 880-2008. F SEE DOWNTOWN. AL’S Pizza, 11190 San Jose Blvd., 260-4115. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 14560 St. Augustine Rd., 262-7605, apple bees.com. Completely remodeled in the area – new look, new appetizers (half-price after 10 p.m.) Most are open until midnight or later. $$ FB K TO L D Daily ATHENS CAFÉ, 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7, 733-1199. F Dolmades (stuffed grape leaves), baby shoes (stuffed eggplant). Greek beers. $$ BW L Mon.-Fri.; D Mon.-Sat. BROOKLYN PIZZA, 11406 San Jose, Ste. 3, 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd., 880-0020. Brooklyn Special. Calzones, white pizza, homestyle lasagna. $$ BW TO L D Daily THE COFFEE BARD, 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 13, 260-0810, thecoffeebard.com. New world coffeehouse has coffees, breakfast, drinks. $$ TO B L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S WINGS, 10391 Old St. Augustine, 880-7087. F BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. GIGI’S RESTAURANT, 3130 Hartley Rd., 694-4300, jaxra mada.com. In Ramada. Prime rib, crab leg buffet Fri. & Sat., blue-jean brunch Sun., daily buffets. $$$ FB B R L D Daily HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30, 880-3040, harmoniousmonks.net. F American steakhouse: Angus steaks, burgers, ribs, wraps. $$ FB K L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 11365 San Jose Blvd., 674-2945. F SEE ORANGE PARK. NATIVE SUN Natural Foods Market & Deli, 10000 San Jose Blvd., 260-6950, nativesunjax.com. F Organic soups, sandwiches, wraps, baked goods, prepared foods. Juice, smoothie and coffee bar. All-natural, organic beers, wines. Indoor, outdoor dining. $ BW TO K B L D Daily THE PIG Bar-B-Q, 14985 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 108, 374-0393, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. WHOLE FOODS Market, 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22, 288-1100, wholefoodsmarket.com. F Expansive prepared-food department with 80+ items, full-service/ self-service hot bar, salad bar, soup bar, dessert bar, pizza, sushi, sandwich stations. $$ BW TO L D Daily

K B L Daily CORNER TACO, 818 Post St., 240-0412, cornertaco.com. Made-from-scratch “Mexclectic street food,” tacos, nachos, gluten-free, vegetarian options. $ BW L D Daily. DERBY ON PARK, 1068 Park St., 379-3343. New American cuisine, upscale retro atmosphere in historic landmark building. Shrimp & grits, lobster bites, 10-oz. gourmet burger. Dine inside or out. $$ FB TO Weekend brunch. B, L D Tue.-Sun. DICK’S, 5972 San Juan Ave., 693-9258. BOJ winner. SEE

A PROPER SKEWERING

Southside Brazilian steakhouse offers its own take on Southern cooking flame on natural wood charcoal. The choices AN INTERESTING CONTRAST to the Chick-fil-A – a variety of succulent chicken, beef, pork, or and Hooters that neighbor it, Terra Gaúcha is lamb – are authentically seasoned and cooked Southside’s latest Brazilian steakhouse. The to preference. If you’re a beef person, there are name reflects the food and culture of southern seven options. If you’re worried about eating Brazil that the restaurant’s three owners are undercooked meat, you can ask the server hoping to share with Northeast Florida. Rodolfo to shave off a piece of the well-done roast to Melo, Joao Rizzon, and Alex Potrich previously sample. For vegetarians, Terra Gaúcha offers a worked in Brazilian steakhouse chains and came to Jacksonville for its potential. Combined, well-stocked salad bar with rice, potatoes, salad, cheese wedges, asparagus, the three Brazilian expats and more. have more than 50 years of experience working with the Something important to TERRA GAÚCHA food of the Gaúcha culture. keep track of is the status 4483 Southside Blvd., 551-5920, of your “Feed me more” or For those unfamiliar with terragauchasteakhouse.com “I’m about to explode” coins exactly what a Brazilian (which unfortunately, don’t steakhouse entails (as I actually say that). The paper coins, which are certainly was) here’s tip No. 1: Go to Terra waiting for you at your table, have a green side Gaúcha on an empty stomach. For an initially which indicates that the food should keep on scary – though afterward understandable coming and a red side which denotes a food – price of $39.50 (otherwise known as 40 break is required. While we ate, the servers dollars), a single person can eat enough food moved in quick rotation around each table, to feed all of Southside. Lunch is cheaper, at appearing with their frango or bovina aloft just $26.50 per person. when we started thinking we wanted more. Diners have the option to relax at the bar They’ll keep doing this until they see that the prior to eating, or head right to the table for red side is face up, so it’s paramount to pay side dishes that never end, which is what we attention to your coins; otherwise, there will be did. First appeared the pão de queijo, a fluffy a server at your side every 15 seconds. bread roll of moist, warm cheese. It was this melt-in-your-mouth concoction that led to the We ordered crème de papaya ($8.50) – a bread basket being emptied and refilled probably blend of papaya and vanilla ice cream topped more times than it should have been. Next was with a swirl of crème de cassis, a liqueur the polenta, fried cornmeal with a crunch that made from blackcurrants – for dessert. It was complimented soft, caramelized bananas. light and fluffy, a good choice for those whose Terra Gaúcha’s cocktail menu includes a waistbands may have begun bursting. caipirinha, a traditional Brazilian drink made Terra Gaúcha’s authentic southern Brazilian with Brazilian rum, sugar, and lime. Both the cuisine is a good reminder to Northeast Florida caipirinha ($9) and the passion caipirinha residents that “south” doesn’t always mean ($9.50) were tart, sweet, and authentic “fried chicken” and “collards.” For Terra compliments to the sides. Gaúcha, it means incorporating unique cuisine with a Southern friendliness that isn’t so very Finally came a seemingly endless cavalcade different from our own. of servers presenting the countless meat skewers. In keeping with the authentic churrasco Rebecca Gibson cooking method, the meat is grilled over an open mail@folioweekly.com

BITE SIZED

JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 35


DINING DIRECTORY beers, 50 wines, produce, humanely raised meats, deli, raw items, vegan, vitamins, herbs. Wraps, sandwiches. $ BW TO B L D Daily HAWKERS Asian Street Fare, 1001 Park St., 508-0342, hawkerstreetfare.com. BOJ winner. Authentic dishes from mobile stalls. $ BW TO L D Daily JOHNNY’S Deli & Grille, 474 Riverside Ave., 356-8055. F Casual spot; sandwiches, classic salads, homefries. One word: Reuben. $ TO B L Daily KNEAD BAKESHOP, 1173 Edgewood Ave. S. Locally-owned, family-run; made-from-scratch pastries, artisan breads, pies, specialty sandwiches, soups. $ TO B L Tue.-Sun. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 1509 Margaret St., 674-2794. 7895 Normandy Blvd., 781-7600. 8102 Blanding Blvd., 779-1933. F SEE ORANGE PARK. METRO DINER, 4495 Roosevelt Blvd., 999-4600. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MONROE’S Smokehouse Bar-B-Q, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551, monroessmokehousebbq.com. Wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey, chicken, ribs. Sides: beans, baked beans, mac-n-cheese, collards. $$ K TO L Mon.-Sat.; D Fri. MOON RIVER PIZZA, 1176 Edgewood Ave. S., 389-4442. F BOJ winner. SEE AMELIA ISLAND. MOSSFIRE GRILL, 1537 Margaret St., 355-4434, mossfire. com. F Southwestern fish tacos, enchiladas. Happy hour Mon.Sat. upstairs lounge, all day Sun. $$ FB K L D Daily O’BROTHERS Irish Pub, 1521 Margaret St., 854-9300, obrothersirishpub.com. F Traditional shepherd’s pie with Stilton crust, Guinness mac-n-cheese, fish-n-chips. Patio dining. $$ FB K TO L D Daily THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 5456 Normandy Blvd., 783-1606, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE. RAIN DOGS, 1045 Park St., 379-4969. Bar food. $ D SILVER COW, 1506 King St., 379-6968, silvercowjax. com. Laid-back, cozy, subdued spot serves craft beers, wines. The full menu is ever-expanding. $$ BW L D Daily. SILVER COW ANNEX, 1508 King St., 379-6968, annexjax.com. Adjacent to Silver Cow; serves craft beers, wines. Bigscreen TVs, games. Chorizo tacos, burgers. $$ BW D Daily. SOUTHERN ROOTS Filling Station, 1275 King St., 513-4726, southernrootsjax.com. Healthy, light vegan fare made fresh daily with local, organic ingredients. Specials, served on bread, local greens or rice, change daily. Coffees, teas. $ Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFÉ, 2025 Riverside, Ste. 204, 384-2888, sushicafejacksonville.com. F Sushi variety: Monster Roll, Jimmy Smith Roll; faves Rock-n-Roll, Dynamite Roll. Hibachi, tempura, katsu, teriyaki. Indoor or patio. $$ BW L D Daily

ST. AUGUSTINE

AL’S PIZZA, 1 St. George St., 824-4383. F SEE BEACHES. APPLEBEE’S, 225 S.R. 312, 825-4099. SEE MANDARIN. AVILES, 32 Avenida Menendez, 829-2277 F Inside Hilton Inn Bayfront. Progressive European menu; made-to-order pasta night, wine dinners, chophouse nights, breakfast buffet. Sun. champagne brunch, bottomless mimosas. $$$ FB K B L D Daily BARLEY REPUBLIC, 48 Spanish St., 547-2023, barley republicph.com. Old City’s only Irish gastropub in historic area has fish & chips, shepherd’s pie, lambburger, craft beers and spirits. $$ FB K TO L D Daily CANDLELIGHT SOUTH, 1 Anastasia Blvd., 819-0588. Casual spot offers fish tacos, sandwiches, wings, desserts, sangria, daily specials. $ BW K TO L D Daily THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655, thefloridian staug.com. Updated Southern fare, fresh ingredients. Vegetarian, gluten-free. Fried green tomatobruschetta, grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. $$$ BW K TO L D Wed.-Mon. GYPSY CAB COMPANY, 828 Anastasia Blvd., 824-8244, gypsycab.com. F Local mainstay for more than 25 years. The varied menu changes twice daily. Signature dish: Gypsy chicken. Seafood, tofu, duck, veal. Sun. brunch. $$ FB R Sun.; L D Daily MELLOW MUSHROOM, 410 Anastasia Blvd., 826-4040. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. METRO DINER, 1000 S. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 758-3323. F BOJ winner. SEE SAN MARCO. MOJO OLD CITY BBQ, 5 Cordova, 342-5264. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. SALT LIFE Food Shack, 321 A1A Beach Blvd., 217-3256, saltlifefoodshack.com. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER

APPLEBEE’S, 4507 Town Center Pkwy., 645-3590. SEE MANDARIN.

BRIO TUSCAN GRILLE, 4910 Big Island Dr., 807-9960. Upscale Northern Italian fare, wood-grilled and oven-roasted steaks, chops, seafood. Dine indoors or al fresco on the terrace. $$$ FB K TO R Sat. & Sun.; L D Daily M SHACK, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-5000, mshack burgers.com. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. OVINTE, 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr., 900-7730, ovinte. com. European-style dining influenced by Italy, Spain and the Mediterranean. Small plates, entrée-size portions, selections from the cheese a charcuterie menu. $$$ BW TO R D Daily

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & BAR, 1004 Hendricks Ave., 674-0190, basilthaijax.com. F Authentic Thai dishes include Pad Thai, a variety of curries, tempuras, vegetarian dishes, seafood, stir-fry and daily specials. $$ FB L D Mon.-Sat.

36 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | JUNE 17-23, 2015

BISTRO AIX, 1440 San Marco Blvd., 398-1949, bistrox. com. F Mediterranean and French inspired cuisine includes steak frites, oak-fired pizza and a new raw bar with seasonal selections. $$$ FB TO L D Daily DICK’S, 1610 University Blvd. W., 448-2110. BOJ. SEE P.V. EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 398-9500. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. $ BW K L D Daily FUSION SUSHI, 1550 University Blvd. W., 636-8688, fusionsushijax.com. F Upscale sushi spot serves a variety of fresh sushi, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, kiatsu. $$ K L D Daily THE GROTTO Wine & Tapas Bar, 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726. F Artisanal cheese plates, empanadas, bruschetta, cheesecake. 60+ wines by the glass. $$$ BW Tue.-Sun. HAMBURGER MARY’S Bar & Grille, 3333 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, 551-2048, hamburgermarys.com. F Wings, sammies, nachos, entrées, specialty drinks, burgers. $$ K TO FB L D Daily KITCHEN ON SAN MARCO, 1402 San Marco Blvd., 396-2344, kitchenonsanmarco.com. New gastropub has local and national craft beers, specialty cocktails and a seasonal menu focusing on fresh, locally sourced ingredients and cuisine. Now serving Sunday brunch. $$ FB L D Daily MEZZE Bar & Grill, 2016 Hendricks Ave., 683-0693, mezzejax.com. Classic cocktails, fresh basil martinis, 35 draft beers, local/craft brews, Mediterranean cuisine. Hookah patio. Happy hour. $$ FB D Daily MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922, matthews restaurant.com. Chef Matthew Medure’s flagship. Fine dining, artfully presented cuisine, small plates, martini/ wine lists. Happy hour Mon.-Fri. Reservations. $$$$ FB D Mon.-Sat. METRO DINER, 3302 Hendricks Ave., 398-3701, metrodiner.com. F BOJ winner. Original upscale diner. Meatloaf, chicken pot pie, soups. $$ B R L Daily MOJO BAR-B-QUE, 1607 University Blvd. W., 732-7200. F BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Ave., 399-8815, pizzapalacejax.com. F Family-owned; homestyle faves: spinach pizza, chicken spinach calzones, lasagna. Outside dining. $$ BW K TO L D Daily TAVERNA, 1986 San Marco Ave., 398-3005, taverna sanmarco.com. Chef Sam Efron’s authentic Italian; local produce, meats. Craft beers, handcrafted cocktails. $$$ FB K TO R L D Daily

SOUTHSIDE, TINSELTOWN

360° GRILLE, LATITUDE 360, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555, latitude360.com. F Popular place serves seafood, steaks, burgers, chicken, sandwiches, pizza. Patio, movie theater. $$ FB TO L D Daily AKEL’S DELICATESSEN, 7077 Bonneval Rd., 332-8700. F SEE DOWNTOWN.

ALHAMBRA Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., 641-1212, alhambrajax.com. USA’s longest-running dinner theater; Chef DeJuan Roy’s themed menus. Reservations. $$ FB D Tue.-Sun. APPLEBEE’S, 5055 JTB Blvd., 296-6895. SEE MANDARIN. BARBERITOS, 4320 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., Ste. 106, 807-9060. F SEE AMELIA ISLAND. DANCIN DRAGON, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888. BOGO lunches, Asian fusion menu. $$ FB K L D Daily DICK’S WINGS, 10750 Atlantic Blvd., 619-0954. BOJ winner. SEE PONTE VEDRA. THE DIM SUM ROOM, 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138D, 363-9888, thedimsumroom.com. Shrimp dumplings, beef tripe, sesame ball. Traditional Hong Kong noodles, barbecue. $ FB K L D Daily EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717. BOJ winner. SEE RIVERSIDE. LARRY’S GIANT SUBS, 3611 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., 641-6499. 4479 Deerwood Lake Pkwy., 425-4060. F SEE ORANGE PARK.

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Ct., 997-1955. F Bite Club. BOJ winner. SEE BEACHES. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BAR B-Q, 10771 Beach Blvd., 996-7900, monroessmokehousebbq.com. SEE RIVERSIDE. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5, 619-0321, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. Popular fourth-generation barbecue place, family-owned for 60+ years. The signature item is mustard-based “pig sauce.” $ BW K TO B, L D Daily TAVERNA YAMAS, 9753 Deer Lake Ct., 854-0426, tavernayamas.com. F Bite Club. Char-broiled kabobs, seafood, wines, desserts. Belly dancing. $$ FB K L D Daily TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA, 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2, 565-1999, tbopizza.com. F New York-style thin crust, brick-oven-baked pizzas (gluten-free), calzones, sandwiches. Boylan’s soda. Curbside pick-up. $$ BW TO L D Mon.-Sat. THE VISCONDE’S Argentinian Grill, 11925 Beach Blvd., Ste. 201, 379-3925. The area’s only Argentinian place. Traditional steaks, varieties of sausages, pasta, sandwiches, empañadas, wines. $$$ BW TO L D Tue.-Sun.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

HOLA Mexican Restaurant, 1001 N. Main St., 356-3100, holamexicanrestaurant.com. F Fajitas, burritos, enchiladas, daily specials. Happy hour; sangria. $ BW K TO L D Mon.-Sat. LARRY’S, 12001 Lem Turner Rd., 764-9999. SEE O.PARK. THE PIG BAR-B-Q, 9760 Lem Turner Rd., 765-4336, thepigbarbq.com. Bite Club. SEE SOUTHSIDE.

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

FENCE-MAKING, SAM SMITH, HIGH TIDE & STAR-WISHING OVERSET ARIES (March 21-April 19): Would you like to stop pushing and struggling for a while? Is there a clenched attitude you’d love to let go of? Do you wish you could take a break from having to give so much, try so hard and be so strong? Do it! Now is a good time to take a sabbatical from any situation that’s too demanding or frustrating. You wouldn’t incur the wrath of the gods or the twists of karma if you sneaked away for some recreational frivolity. For the foreseeable future, “relax” and “surrender” are your power words. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Theologian Karl Barth speculated that when the angels get together to praise and honor God with music, they perform Bach’s compositions. When they’re playing for each other, though, they’re more likely to choose Mozart. I guess that’s because Mozart’s stuff is loose, free and inventive compared to Bach, who’s formal, sober and systematic. Mozart is more for parties; Bach is for serious times. The days ahead are a time when you, like the angels, should be willing to express yourself in different ways, depending on the audience. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Before Annie Proulx became a Pulitzer-winning novelist, she wrote a series of how-to books, including a dairy foods cookbook and an instructional text on making hard cider. But the manual of hers I want to call your attention is Plan and Make Your Own Fences & Gates, Walkways, Walls & Drives. It may be inspirational to read. You’re in a phase when it makes perfect sense to create new paths to travel. This will let you forgo at least some paths others built that can’t take you where you need to go. CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m itchy to see you blow your own cover. I’d love you to come all the way out of your hiding place, even if just for a while, and see what happens if you make full disclosures and brave displays. My hope? That you close the gap between the real you and the images people have. Sound interesting? Or are you so fond of being a big riddle you can’t imagine any other way to be? Maybe I can tempt you to be more self-revelatory: Taking your disguises off even briefly will let you discover intriguing secrets about you. When you put your disguises back on, you’ll seem even more mysterious. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A new cycle will begin after your birthday. Between now and then, you’ll be wrapping up the current cycle. Do so with a flourish. Don’t just wait around passively for the themes of the last 11 months to fade or go to sleep. Instead, intend to bring them to a climactic close. Schedule a splashy graduation or a grand finale. Plan a cathartic party or celebratory rite of passage. Take a playful leap of faith or try that magic trick you’ve been saving for the perfect moment. Or all of the above! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin deep,” said author Jean Kerr. “That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?” In accordance with current astrological omens, you should feel free to play around with that impish idea. For now, appreciate and enjoy the surfaces of things. Make decisions based on first impressions and instant analyses. Give attention and energy to what looks appealing, and don’t think too hard about stuff that has a boring appearance. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Now is a favorable time to wish upon a star. You can enhance the likelihood that your wish will come true if you choose this cycle phase to

enlist the assistance of a higher power. Make sure, though, that you wish upon the right star. Pick a higher power that can truly help with your wish, not necessarily one that’s worked for others’ wishes. A crucial detail: Be precise in your wish formulation. No foggy thinking or sloppy language. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you’re fully committed to being honest and kind, you’ll have more power to heal others than you’ve had in a long time. You’ll have a resemblance to a magic potion or a wonder drug. A caveat: The therapeutic influence you have to offer might be scary to those who aren’t ready to be cured. The solutions you propose could be disruptive to folks addicted to problems. Be discerning about how you share yourself. The medicine you’re generating is not too potent for your use. It’s just what you need to transform limitation into liberation.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Each of us has at least one pesky ghost or nagging demon in a dark corner of our psyches. It may have been there for years, or we may have just picked it up during temporary insanity. Most of us can benefit from a periodic banishing ritual. Now is prime time for you to do just that. Ready? With your imagination, draw a clockwise circle of your favorite-colored light on the floor or ground. Identify an image that makes you feel happy and safe, and visualize four versions of it at the four cardinal points, hovering three feet above your circle. Then say: “I dissolve any hex and banish any pest draining my energy. I purge any wasteful emotions, unsound ideas, and trivial desires I may have grown attached to.” To seal the magic, laugh for two minutes. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): By my estimate, 97 percent of the population is chronically starving for the pleasure of being listened to with deep empathy and focused intelligence. Few of us regularly enjoy prolonged, undivided attention of a receptive ally. It’s rare to be in the presence of a person whose sole agenda is to be innocently curious about you. Your assignment? Go on a quest to remedy this. Figure out how to get the skillful listening you’re missing. Prime the magic: Offer yourself as a skillful listener to others. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): At this year’s Grammy Awards, British singer Sam Smith won in four categories. His tune “Stay with Me” was named Song of the Year. In an acceptance speech, Smith expressed appreciation for the difficult muse who inspired the song. “I want to thank the man who this record is about, who I fell in love with last year,” he said. “Thank you so much for breaking my heart, because you got me four Grammys.” Come up with a comparable expression of gratitude. What experience that seemed like tough luck at the time has turned out to be a blessing? Now is a great time to acknowledge and make full use of unexpected grace. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Bay of Fundy is a branch of the Atlantic Ocean between the Canadian provinces of Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, renowned for its tidal range. When it’s high tide, the water may be as much as 53 feet higher than low tide. The shift back and forth happens twice a day. Will your emotional ebb and flow will have a similar variability in the weeks ahead? According to my astrological omenreading, you could experience very high highs and very deep depths. By “depths,” I don’t mean sadness or despair, but a profound ability to feel your way into the heart of things. Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com


NEWS OF THE WEIRD LIVING SMALL

Apartment buyers in ridiculously expensive Hong Kong are eagerly paying up to $500,000 (U.S.) for units not much bigger than a U.S. parking space (and usually physically selfmeasured by the applicant’s wing-span). An agent told The Wall Street Journal in June that standard furniture doesn’t fit the units; having guests requires sitting on the window sill. The Journal pointed out a typical such “mosquito” apartment unit in Hong Kong is 180 square feet, way smaller than the 304 of a basketball court’s “lane” subject to a “3-second” violation. A government lottery for subsidized units rewards barely one of every 100 applicants.

ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT

In May, Texas health officials shut down flea market sales of sonogram DVDs at Leticia Trujillo’s stall at San Antonio’s Traders Village. Though the nature of the equipment wasn’t described in reports, sonograms can be produced only with a doctor’s prescription and by licensed personnel; pregnant flea market customers underwent a procedure (“just like a doctor’s office,” said Trujillo) that yielded a 12-minute DVD image, with photos, for $35 — that Trujillo later defended as for “entertainment” purposes only and for those without health insurance.

IRONIES

According to Nathan Hoffman’s lawsuit, he was prepped for eye surgery in May 2014; a clinic employee handed him a small-lettered liabilitylimitation form to sign. He was told the surgery at the LASIK Vision Institute in Lake Oswego, Oregon, could not proceed without a signature, and despite hazy vision, he reluctantly relented, but things went badly. The form limits lawsuit damages to a money-back $2,500, but Hoffman demands at least $7,500 to cover the so-far two additional surgeries elsewhere to correct LVI’s alleged errors.

WAR IS HELL

Some jihadists who have traveled to Syria to join ISIS have complained recently (according to a Radio Free Europe dispatch) that they can’t secure work as “martyrs” due to discrimination from incumbent fighters. One “pro-ISIS” cleric,

speaking for Chechens, said they “are so fed up with long waiting lists in Syria” they head to Iraq, where the lists are shorter. Said one, Saudis controlling suicide rosters in the Syrian theater “won’t let anyone in.” Their “relatives go to the front of the line using [their connections].”

JUST ANOTHER DAY IN FLORIDA COURT

It started in 2008, when one of Tampa Bay’s two nastiest radio “shock jocks,” Todd Schnitt, sued the other, Bubba the Love Sponge Clem, for defamation. With depositions underway in 2013, according to reporting by the Tampa Bay Times, Schnitt’s lawyer, Philip Campbell, unwinding in a bar, was hit on by a perky young paralegal who (unknown to him) worked for Bubba’s lawyer’s firm. After several drinks, she exaggerated inebriation, angling for Campbell to drive her home. According to charges by The Florida Bar Association, the paralegal’s boss called a Tampa cop to trail Campbell — who witnessed the car weaving, and thus arrested Campbell for DUI. (Bonus: Campbell’s workpacked briefcase went missing in the traffic stop.) Bubba himself was not implicated, and the disciplinary charges against the lawyers, pending in June 2015, are creating suspense about which one might take the fall. Chuck Shepherd weirdnews@earthlink.net

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MISCELLANEOUS

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HEALTH

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EDUCATION

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CAREER TRAINING

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here – Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance, 800-725-1563. (AAN CAN) (6-17-15)

ADOPTION

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JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 37


FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by MERL REAGLE. Presented by

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SOUTHSIDE

AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 388-5406 394-1390 AVENUES MALL

Advancement Placement Test 2

NOTE: I received a lot of positive mail about this when I did it last year; I thought a sequel was in order. So to speak.

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Diploma word Early bird Prancer teammate Italian III Bette Midler hit Quiche, for one Old Persian title Calc cousin Second feature, in Fence-crossing aid drive-in lingo Common game piece ___ candy Short missions? Sporty car roof Vehement reply to a Actress Garr query Cow poke 89 1961 hit, “___ Said” Rest stops 91 Napoleon Dynamite, e.g. Frrreeezing 93 Hurting the most Probe, pooch-style 95 Director Brian De ___ Post founder? 96 “Nobody wins!” Lots of dough 98 Thompson’s cinema nanny Some plugs 100 Privileged groups “I called 911” 102 Actress Donahue Ottoman relative 103 Meyers and Rogen Metal marble Corleone crony Tessio 104 “___ the force, Luke” 105 Woofer’s notes With -scope, an ear 106 Computer letters? device 107 Styx crosser D.C.-born Bill 108 Syrian in the news Part of T.A.E. Way more than smitten 109 Hypnotist’s word “My composure left me” 113 Apt anagram of “pittance,” “a ___ tip” Reassure, as a dog Beethoven’s Ninth is in 115 Mr. Rubik 117 Chinese menu General it: abbr. 118 Farm female “Rules apply to all 119 “Didn’t I tell you?” citizens” Western treaty grp.

Metal containers? Nordstrom rival Take exception to ACROSS Actress Stevens 1 Porch light circler “Swell!” 5 Palindromic airline Repeatedly 8 It’s within range? Party staple 12 FDR’s denomination Party staple 17 Texas pol oilman Chet Verdi slave 19 “Do ___ do” Vote in favor 20 Eb and Flo, e.g. Luxury watch brand 22 Contest with clowns Hilly pts. of town 23 Emotionally demanding Middle of the 12th 24 Temporary peace century 27 How Mom may have the 99 Substantial kids 101 South Korea’s Syngman 28 Man of morals 103 Misses deadlines 29 In the other team’s town 108 “Skyfall” singer and 30 Liberty portrayer opposite others James 110 Start to cure? 31 Marbles, so to speak 111 Vague number 33 “What you just said is 112 Tech items that irrelevant!” debuted in 1998 37 Wacky, as humor 114 French textile city 38 Congo, formerly 116 Oft-chronicled conflict 39 Demolish 120 Goose genus 40 Frequent textee, perhaps 121 Steppenwolf novelist 42 Greeley’s advice 122 Yes follower 44 Word in a cheer 123 Actress Balin or Claire 47 Two aspirin, e.g. 124 Made on a loom 48 “Rules ___ rules” 125 ___ Hall University 49 Go a few rounds 126 High-pH solutions 50 Next to each other 127 LAX update 52 Target for Joseph Cotten 128 Auctioned auto in Hitchcock’s Shadow DOWN of a Doubt 1 City bond, briefly 54 Mr. Chips portrayer 2 Blooms 57 Pole, for one 3 Hold more liquor than 58 Hit the ice? 4 Imbibed minimally 62 Introductory drawing 5 Thai appetizer class 6 “Off the Court” author 63 Done in a salon 7 Cause of Sonoran 65 Course of action snorin’ 67 Word with an accent 8 Commensurate 68 Sandwich fans may hold 9 Actor Kilmer them 70 “I was introduced to you 10 Stone and Watson 11 Contents meas. once before” 72 “Very little spice, please” 12 Triage areas, briefly 13 Patio planter 74 A Romney 14 Worship 75 Hornswoggle 15 Unruffled 77 Land

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FUN IN THE SUN You: Getting out of pool; put on loud orange shirt. Flag tattoo. Started reading Harlan Coben novel. Me: Tan in black two-piece trying to get your attention. Hope to see you again. Let’s skinny dip? When: June 6. Where: Green Tree Place. #1528-0617

MR. MATRIX You: Dorky in a really sexy way. Me: Drew Barrymore look-alike. Stopped at your booth and heard you say you originally came up with the idea for “The Matrix.” You can give me your red or blue pill anytime, stud! When: April 10. Where: One Spark. #1517-0415

DRIVE BY I saw Clark Kent in the parking lot. Me: Driving by. You: Walking to your car; you’re really super-looking. I bet you get that a lot, though. When: June 5. Where: Bailey’s Gym. #1527-0617

JUICE BAR BABE You: Incredibly cute girl working juice bar. Braided blonde hair, nose ring. Your favorite is Pineapple Julius. Me: Suave, long-haired Adonis, right arm tattoo, sees you from afar, often there. Let’s meet, talk about more you like. When: April 3. Where: Baymeadows Native Sun. #1516-0408

BREATHLESS AT BIG LOTS You: Beautiful, short hair, coral outfit, buying plastic bins, in Mini-Cooper. Me: Tall guy, striped polo, khakis. Let you ahead; bought pens to write number for you; you left soon. Needed coral party item, never expected perfect coral. When: 2 p.m. June 4. Where: Merrill Road Big Lots. #1525-0610

ENDLESS LOVE You: Handsome, buff, bald man, best smile, driving ivory Cadillac. Me: Short, long hair, blue-eyed girl who works your conversions; my heart melts when I see you. Let’s meet so I can convert you over to a real woman! When: March 4. Where: Baymeadows business. #1515-0408

STUNNING FRECKLED REDHEAD; BE MY MODEL? My jaw dropped! Your stunning looks, beautiful skin are amazing! Didn’t have business card with me; would you consider modeling for a photo shoot? Your schedule, preference. Let me build your portfolio! When: May 11. Where: Town Center Publix. #1525-0610

SMILE’S FOREVER, HOWEVER Bumped into me, Underbelly’s bar, Art Walk. Dark hair, brilliant smile. Taking hygienist work home with you? Talked about smiles, other thing. I’ll make other thing last. You left with friends; didn’t get number. Let’s make smiles! When: April 1. Where: Underbelly. #1514-0408

TAG YOU’RE IT Me: Brunette, maroon Jeep. You: Smokin’ hottie in the white Nissan truck. Playing cat and mouse over the Intracoastal. Catch me if you can ;). When: May 30. Where: Beach Boulevard Bridge. #1524-0603

BEAUTIFUL SOCCER HOOLIGAN You: Blonde, glasses, ripped rolled-up jeans, yellow sweater, Armada scarf, temp cheek tattoo. Me: Dark hair, glasses, full sleeves. You behind me, half-time refreshment line. We smiled in section 141 top. Let’s sit side-by-side. When: March 28. Where: EverBank Field. #1513-0401

SEXY BLONDE, BOSTON CONCERT You: Very sexy, Sect. 101, Row I, with cute friend, “dates.” We took selfies together; chemistry unmistakable. Me: Sect. 101, Row K; mature gent; a lot more fun than your date. Sealed with a kiss. When: May 24. Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre. #1523-0603

I CAN’T WEIGHT Me: Tall, blonde and flirtatious. You: Handsome and muscular. You were working on your fitness and I was your witness. Maybe we should get sweaty together? ;) When: April 20. Where: Retro Fitness. #1521-0527 UNFORGETTABLE I pay great attention to small things, I feel so blessed that you were in my presences. Did you come back just to see me? I hope so, ’cause I love seeing you. In any color white, blue, coral … When: May 11. Where: Parked. #1520-0520

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VOTE FOR ME You: Widespread Panic shirt. You said you may actually vote Republican if Billary gets nomination. Wanted to speak more, but you had to get home to dogs and pet pigeon. Let’s get naughty in voting booth! ;). When: May 7. Where: McDonald’s. #1519-0513

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COMPARIN’ TATTOOS AT DUNKIN’ DONUTS? Me: Too shy to talk further; noticed your foot tattoo; complimented it. You: Petite, cute in adorable summer dress! Mentioning tat, seeing that smile made my day! Wanna stay, chat a bit? When: May 26. Where: Dunkin’ Donuts, U.S. 1 & JTB. #1522-0603

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VILANO PUBLIX; PULLED GROIN MUSCLE! Produce/dairy around 8 a.m. You live St. Augustine, injured groin surfing Puerto Rico. Left, came back; so flustered talking you forgot eggs. You: PT, work, fishing, watch fi ght. Me: to beach. Should’ve given my number! When: May 2. Where: Vilano Beach Publix. #1518-0506

HAITIAN GENTLEMAN IN PINK Mr. I make airplanes crank for a living. Ms. Blonde alone on corner reading Folio Weekly ISU impatiently waiting; meanwhile collecting the worst pick-up lines. White boy was smooth; you, however, have my attention. When: March 28. Where: Outside De Real Ting. #1512-0401 BEST ASS I’VE SEEN You: Sweaty, dark hair, petite, beautiful Asian lifting heavy (humping weights? Never seen that workout), engrossed in weights and convos with gym regulars. Sorry, couldn’t stop staring. Let’s train together. Whatever you’re doing is working. When: March 16. Where: LA Fitness Atlantic Beach. #1511-0325 0% IRISH, 100% DRUNK You: Orange sack pack and white sleeveless shirt. Me: White collared shirt and green tie. Didn’t expect to have a dance partner. Will you shake it off with me again? When: March 17. Where: Brix Taphouse. #1510-0325 LITTLE DRUMMER BOY You: Black, bald, beautiful. Me: Hungry and watching. I was behind you in line while you pretended to play drums like Lars Ulrich. Can I play with your drumstick? When: March 6. Where: Taco Bell @ Hodges. #1509-0311 FREEBIRD EXPENDABLES SHOW On 2/25. We talked at very end by merchant stand. Short convo; said you’re finishing teaching degree. You: Very cute brunette, awesome smile. Would like to see you again! When: Feb. 25. Where: Freebird Live. #1508-0304 I SAW U Connection Made!

GIRL WITH THE SCAR On face, eye to forehead. ISU at gay bar, long ago; wanted to know you. My heart skipped a beat. You were and still are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen; always cross my mind. When: April 2014. Where: The bar. #1507-0304


JUNE 17-23, 2015 | FOLIOWEEKLY.com | 39



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