3.8.11

Northeast Florida’s News & Opinion Magazine • March 8-14, 2011 • Still Smarting Off • 110,860 readers every week!

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Fried okra and local flavor: Lunchtime in Molasses Junction. p. 6

Get Schooled! A legislative action guide on education issues for the upcoming session. p. 55

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2 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

Inside Volume 24 Number 49

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11 MAIL One reader’s pitiless take on dead poets. Plus women and children aren’t the only victims of domestic violence. p. 4 EDITOR’S NOTE p. 5 NEWS Fried okra and local flavor: Lunchtime in Molasses Junction. p. 6 Who’s lining up to support Jacksonville’s next mayor? p. 9

MOVIES Reviews of “Drive Angry” and “The Company Men.” p. 22 MUSIC The Dum Dum Girls, Terrible Things and former Mofro guitarist Daryl Hance. p. 26 ARTS Lewis Black is all the rage. Plus Ancient City hosts the inaugural Celtic fest. p. 36 THE EYE Bouffant surfing with The B-52s. p. 41

BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS What’s more depressing than Velveeta Shells & Cheese? Just don’t get us started. Plus Fernandina Beach auteur brings home an Oscar. p. 6

NEWS OF THE WEIRD Terrorism as performance art. p. 49

COVER STORY Undaunted by arrest, disgrace and collapse of his publishing empire, Ponte Vedra businessman John Constantino is back in business. p. 13

SPORTS p. 11 I ♥ TELEVISION p. 12 HAPPENINGS p. 41 DINING p. 44 I SAW U p. 51 FREEWILL ASTROLOGY p. 52 CLASSIFIEDS p. 53

OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 21

BACKPAGE Get Schooled! A Legislative Action Guide. p. 55

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 3

9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 Phone: 904.260.9770 Fax: 904.260.9773 e-mail: info@folioweekly.com website: folioweekly.com PUBLISHER David Brennan dbrennan@folioweekly.com • ext. 130

Know Justiss

While it is, perhaps, in poor taste to speak ill of the dead, it is perhaps in worse taste to glorify a man who represented also the most vulgar and filthiest of “artists,” if you will, of Northeast Florida (Alan Justiss Remembrance, Feb. 22, http://bit.ly/ gVUaVb). While writer Shelton Hull may see some socially redeeming value in his meandering drivel (“In this slow death I see the hurry jump between the rain drops/I open my mouth & I find there empty is nothing you hear stays”), beatifying his renowned and excessive alcoholism (“A legendary, even epic drinker … too sick to drink and unable to write …”) I see no socially redeeming value.

There are also those in the arts circle here in Northeast Florida who would tell you he was one of the most vulgar and disgusting humans ever to speak in public. Having seen him in action in person at poetry readings, I would most definitely agree.

If he is the best Northeast Florida had to offer, that goes a long way toward explaining why Northeast Florida is such a cultural wasteland. The only thing more a waste than the article itself was perhaps the meandering, meaningless “tribute” (?) at the end of it.

murders, the feminists and their ilk “circled the wagons” and proclaimed it’s because the women had a bad upbringing, or had some alleged past abuse from their husband or boyfriend (and the mainstream biased media joins in to support them). Domestic violence is wrong no matter what gender commits the offense, but when women are the perpetrators, our society plays by a different set of rules and the male victims are intentionally ignored, downplayed or denied of having been victimized. The most respected and recognized professional domestic violence researchers around the world have concluded that men seldom report their victimization because they have been raised to take it like a man and will be regarded as wimps if they (men) report their female abusers.

Furthermore, women are still the primary perpetrators of infanticide and elder abuse, and also the primary perpetrators who hire “hit men” to murder their husbands or boyfriends. As usual, when women are victims, they receive help and sympathy (which they should), but when men are victims, it continues to be a matter of: Who cares? The hypocrisy never ceases.

Wes James Atlantic Beach via email

Gender Assignment

Re: Hard Times (Editor’s Note, Feb. 22).

Once again, we are presented with the one-sided and biased presentation of domestic violence as being something that

We had a case of a Jacksonville woman who shook her baby to death because she was angry that the baby was crying and interrupted the mom’s video game. The woman pleaded guilty. Not a word of condemnation came from the feminists, women’s shelter advocates and media. only men do to women. The typical media presentation amounts to woman=victim and man=perpetrator. We had a case of a Jacksonville woman who shook her baby to death because she was angry that the baby was crying and interrupted the mom’s video game (Farmville). The woman pleaded guilty.

Not a word of condemnation came from the feminists, women’s shelter advocates and media. When women like Aileen Wuornos, Karla Faye Tucker, Susan Smith and other murderous women committed heinous 4 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

George Starkes Former men’s rights activist St. Augustine Beach

God and Man

Human rights have always been in need of defenders. That’s why we have lawyers, judges and courts everywhere in America and elsewhere throughout the world. Without the balancing scales of justice, society would collapse into chaos, giving rise to tyranny.

Thank God for those whose lives are truly dedicated to helping the downtrodden. Life is unbearable when it’s just “survival of the fittest.”

The Valentine’s issue of Folio Weekly (Feb. 8) had in it a thoughtful letter from Nadya Farah. She praised the paper’s cover story of Dec. 28 where Professor Parvez Ahmed was featured as “Person of the Year.” She stated, “I am a Christian and have participated in many OneJax forums at which I had the honor of interacting with Professor Ahmed.”

She’s thoroughly impressed with his intellect, deep faith and quest for peace among all people. Perhaps her Palestinian roots give her perspective on this sensitive issue. Who would foolishly argue against the professor’s admirable qualifications? We need more, not less insight and effort. Right? Our sick world is already too volatile.

As I see it, the solution to diversity and harmony among all mankind cannot be achieved merely by negotiations. As a Biblebased Christian, I believe the fundamental need of man is reconciliation to God. Jesus alone is The Prince of Peace. He alone can secure our human rights with life everlasting besides.

William H. Shuttleworth Jacksonville

Bill of Goods

On March 9, the Florida Senate will vote on SB 736, which will specify statewide policies for teachers’ and administrators’ evaluation, compensation and employment. Half of those evaluations will be based on student

performance on FCAT over a three-year period. While the Senate education committee chaired by Sen. Steven Wise has allowed more input from educators and the public than last year’s more seriously flawed SB-6, it contains many of the same problems: • Over-reliance on a single high-stakes test that was not designed for the policy decisions for which it is used. FCAT should be one of several measures (achievement tests, end-ofunit tests, writing assignments, projects) to give a more adequate, yearlong evaluation of student learning.

• Prohibits advanced degrees from being a factor in determining salary, unless it is in

SB-736 has too many serious consequences for teachers and local taxpayers to merit passage.

Stop this bill now before it creates greater distress for our children and families. the individual’s area of certification. These degrees offer more background and require more evaluation than renewing certification by staff development or taking a few courses. Few undergraduate programs offer sufficient subject content to adequately prepare secondary science or social studies teachers to teach either general or advanced courses.

• Requires school districts to develop assessments for grades and subjects not tested by FCAT. Duval County spent millions developing 900 such tests. At a time when the legislature intends to cut state funding, this unfunded mandate places an undue financial burden on each county.

• This bill assumes that performance pay results in improved student learning. Reports about the results of merit pay are mixed.

• Eliminates professional service contracts for teachers hired after July 1, 2011. In what other field would professionals commit to a position with one year’s job security? An illness, a divorce or teaching an unusually challenging group of students may cause a teacher to be dismissed!

Sen. Wise’s committee gave conscientious consideration to this complex bill and, with the Race to the Top incentives, has moved this whole issue forward. But SB-736 has too many serious consequences for teachers and local taxpayers to merit passage. Stop this bill now before it creates greater distress for our children and families.

Sandra Parks St. Augustine

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Forget It I

f you’re not Charlie Sheen, or undergoing chemotherapy, or senile, there’s no reason you should “forget” the big stuff. You should know within 200 million dollars how much money you make annually. You should know how many homes you own. You should know whether a conservative think tank paid your wife $700,000 for consulting work.

Such is not the case, however, with a growing number of public officials, whose recall of significant matters is shot through with holes, and then papered over with implausible claims of forgetfulness.

These “people” are not the bug-spray man, either, but folks who are theoretically paid, appointed or elected for their superior brainpower. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, for one — he of the $700,000 income oversight — claims he misunderstood the annual financial disclosure forms required of all federal judges. Since 2003, Thomas has checked “NONE” next to the box marked “Spouse’s Non-Investment Income” despite the fact that Gini Thomas had significant non-investment income from the

Commission on Ethics after a complaint was filed, but got off with a letter of admonition from the senate Rules Committee. (Lucky for him, the committee’s chair is none other than John Thrasher [R-St. Augustine], who endorsed Haridopolos in his recent re-election bid. Asked if he should recuse himself because of that conflict, Thrasher told the Orlando Sentinel, “Hell, no.”) As for Carroll, other than a few stories in this publication, there hasn’t even been any news coverage of her fiscal schizophrenia, much less a hint of penalty.

The root of the word “accountability” is the Latin word accomptare, to count, and there’s clearly a connection between the two.

The flouting of financial disclosure laws isn’t just a numbers game. It’s evidence of a deeper disregard for the public, and it’s only growing.

Whether this contempt manifests itself as a refusal to comply with public records requests, or meet with reporters, or disclose finances, it’s all the same fundamental arrogance.

Recently, mayoral candidate Mike Hogan offered his own take on this trend. Having missed 10 mayoral debates (more than half of

Hogan’s absenteeism speaks volumes about his disdain for voters, but other than a Twitter account that satirizes his perpetual absence @hoganemptychair, his invisibility has gone mostly unremarked, and unpunished. conservative Heritage Foundation. How he misapprehended the form’s meaning isn’t clear. But Thomas isn’t the only official to struggle with the basics of financial disclosure.

Florida Senate President Mike Haridopolos “forgot” to include a $400,000 investment home and a $120,000-a-year consulting gig on his financial disclosure forms. Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll has failed to disclose stocks and business assets (though she admits she owns both), as well as a trip to Turkey paid for by a local cultural group.

And while she nominally fills out financial disclosure forms, she does so without regard for numerical reality, alternately listing her net worth as $23 million (2004), $202 million (2005) and $206,783 (last year).

So what, you say?

As well you might. There’s been no hint of punishment for Thomas (though knowingly making false statements of fact to a federal agency is a criminal act — the very offense that landed Martha Stewart in jail).

Haridopolos was investigated by the Florida

those held during the previous month-and-ahalf), he abruptly cancelled a long-scheduled appearance on WJXT’s “First Coast Connect” radio show. Last Thursday, he refused to participate in the first of three televised mayoral debates — the only candidate to do so. Initially, debate organizers said they would set out an empty podium to highlight Hogan’s absence, but in the end they chose not to.

It’s too bad. Hogan’s absenteeism speaks volumes about his disdain for voters, but other than a Twitter account that satirizes his perpetual absence @hoganemptychair, his invisibility has gone mostly unremarked, and unpunished. Indeed, he’s considered the race’s front-runner.

There are a whole slew of political reasons one might oppose Hogan’s candidacy (http:// bit.ly/eMcYM7), but the physical one is the most compelling: his empty chair. Anyone who doesn’t care enough to show up for this mayor’s race doesn’t deserve to win it.

Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 5

A Sure Sellout

Artistic Inspiration $8,420 — Amount St. Johns County has collected from its “State of the Arts” specialty license tag, and is prepared to give away. In St. Johns County, the money is distributed by the St. Johns County Cultural Council, which keeps 10 percent for administrative fees and gives the rest to artists, cultural organizations and art teachers in grants, up to $500. Applications are due April 1. stjohnsculturalcouncil.com

Case Dismissed 2,700 — Number of foreclosures that may be dismissed in Duval County because there’s been no action on the cases for the past year. The Fourth Judicial Circuit in Duval County has set hearings through March 11 to clear its dockets of inactive foreclosure cases. Says Jacksonville Area Legal Aid attorney April Charney, who has some cases that might be dismissed and supports the decision, “This is just a start.”

Youthful Indulgence “I thought vaguely it might happen to me sometime in my late 60s. So for it to happen right out of film school is pretty remarkable.”

— Fernandina Beach native Luke Matheny, 35, telling WJXT Channel 4 how it felt to win an Oscar in the Best Live Action Short Film category for his movie, “God of Love.” Matheny created the film for his doctoral thesis at New York University film school.

6 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

Walter Coker

Country artist Rodney Atkins comes to the UNF Arena on March 31 as part of his Kraft Velveeta Shells & Cheese “Best Side of Dinner Tour,” a bit of endorsement synergy so boneheaded, it got us wondering what tour title might rival it: • The NRA proudly presents its “Keep Your Hands Off My Gun Tour”: An Evening with The Indigo Girls and Larry the Cable Guy! • The ENSURE (now with even more calcium) “Healthy Bones Tour” with The Murder Junkies, Poison Idea and special guest Roger Taylor of Queen • “A&E Intervention Tour” with Eminem, Louie Anderson, the dude from Crazytown and your host, Charlie Mothereffin’ Sheen!

• The Kotex “Ready for Anything” tour featuring Flavor Flav • Derek Trucks, brought to you by Tucks • Wackenhut presents: Wyclef Jean

“If we don’t sell it, we’re going to have to eat it.” Molasses Junction owner David Doan.

Slow and Steady

Molasses Junction creates an enduring narrative by ignoring the dictates of time and place

D

riving east down County Road 214 through St. Johns County’s Potato Belt feels like a drive into nowhere. Fields stretch out flat on either side of the two-lane road, acre upon acre of gray sandy soil, plowed into furrows.

A gust of wind picks up a furl of sand and whips it into the air. There’s no sign of anyone anywhere.

In this landscape of long views, the Molasses Junction Country Store serves as a community waystation, a place where people’s lives intersect. Here farmers, farm hands and passersby catch up, jaw about the weather, share a meal. The store is located at a long-defunct railway stop on a line that ran between St. Augustine and the St. Johns River.

It got its name when a giant vat of molasses broke open one day and perfumed the air with a sweet stench that lasted for months.

The railway line was shut down in 1895 when Henry Flagler bought out the company that ran it and incorporated it into what became the Florida East Coast Railway. But the Molasses Junction name stuck.

The country store of the same name is a 56-year-old enterprise that began when W.A. and Elizabeth Pursley started selling sandwiches from the back porch of their house. In 1955, they built a proper store and hauled their house to a spot behind it. David Doan bought the store from Elizabeth Pursley in 1996, originally planning to build up the business and then sell it. But 14 years later, Molasses Junction Country Store has become his full-time preoccupation.

“You see the same people every day, but you get to see something different in everybody’s life every day,” he says. “It’s on its own personal little corner out here.”

Doan has managed to keep the store

profitable, in part by expanding its menu.

On a recent afternoon, behind a tiny serving window, Jim Markee was getting ready for the lunch rush. At noon and again late in the afternoon, truckloads of farm workers descend on Molasses Junction. Markee has been cooking for Doan since he bought the place, and his menu evolved mostly through customer requests. The result is a broad selection of Northeast Florida-style Southern

overhang. There’s an ice chest out front, and a gray tabby cat named Sissy who lounges on customers’ truck cabs while they’re in the store. It doesn’t need flashy signs like those that holler out from other convenience stores.

It has no competition. The closest is Buddy Boy’s Country Store, nine miles away.

Inside, the shelves are lined with an assortment of goods that were last considered delicacies in the 1960s. One shelf displays a

“You see the same people every day, but you get to see something different in everybody’s life every day,” David Doan says. “It’s on its own personal little corner out here.” cooking. He heaps fried chicken gizzards, fried cornbread nuggets, fried mushrooms, onion rings, fried okra, lima beans, goulash and sausage pilau into Styrofoam cups, lining them up under a heat lamp. They sell for $3.50 apiece. Doan’s and Markee’s main criteria for the menu was that it should be food they themselves wouldn’t mind eating.

“We decided we needed to cook what we like to eat,” says Doan, “because if we don’t sell it, we’re going to have to eat it ourselves.”

M

olasses Junction Country Store has been used as a location for two movies, including John Travolta’s “Lonely Hearts,” and it’s easy to see why. Everything about it — from the stock on the shelves to the dirty concrete floor to the antique manual cash register — seems to come from another time.

The building itself isn’t much to look at. It’s low-hung and long, with a corrugated tin

single can of Spam, a single tin of smoked oysters, one can of Beanie Weenies and two types of Vienna sausages. Below the meats are “baked goods,” like Honey Buns and Moon Pies. Next to the pastries, handfuls of bolts, screws, stainless steel clamps, washers and hex nuts are nestled inside individual containers.

“We don’t have enough that someone could build a house or build a tractor,” jokes Doan, “but we have enough for someone to do repairs.”

The St. Johns County Public Library also maintains a lending library here, on a single spinning rack next to the hardware. Local humor papers the walls. A sign by the front door reads, “Rednecks Only. All Others Go Back North.” And only in this part of St. Johns County would someone cover a sheet of lined notepaper in a long expository joke explaining the similarities between potatoes and sex. (“As long as the product is firm, it has a chance of making the grade.”)

Today, St. Johns County Recreation Department employee Ron Gotshawlk brought his wife Harriet and his friends Bill and Marcia Hannant for lunch on a day off. The foursome buys gizzards, fried mushrooms, sausage pilau and corn nuggets and sits in a large meeting hall that Doan added on at the back of the store. Doan has booked the space for weddings and wedding receptions, and hosted the inaugural meeting of the Molasses Junction Tea Party there. He hopes to eventually build a dinner business and is starting regular Saturday night

country-Western dances with live music and food, with a $10 cover, this month. Even in a place so little changed by time, Doan has reason to look to the future. The encroaching development of the northern and eastern county will likely continue to provide a stream of customers nostalgic for old Florida.

“It’s good to see a place like this in business,” says Bill Hannant, vacationing in St. Augustine from Illinois. “The Health Department’s closed most places like this down.”

Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

The Corrections Last week’s Water Hogs issue (http://bit.ly/ feK0dD) overstated by 10,000 gallons how much Hog No. 16 used. Eric M. Gabriel of Ortega Boulevard actually used 1,026,000 gallons of water.

Also, last week’s movie review of “The Eagle” incorrectly asserted that Donald Sutherland was part of an American cast. As one astute reader noted, “Donald Sutherland is Canadian, moron.”

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World Sword Swallower’s Day, Ripley’s Believe It or Not, St. Augustine, February 26

Bouquets to St. Augustine sculptors Enzo Torcoletti and Joseph Segal for helping restore the city’s most iconic landmarks. The pair performed the delicate repairs required for the Bridge of Lions statues, including cleaning them, filling cracks and re-attaching them to their bases. The lions, which were removed in 2005 in advance of the lengthy bridge restoration, are set to be put back on the bridge on March 15.

Brickbats to Mayor John Peyton for refusing to grant a reporter face-time in an interview, then accusing her of engaging in “tabloid journalism“ for approaching him with questions outside a TV station. Peyton scolded First Coast News reporter Jackelyn Barnard last Wednesday over her inquiries about workman’s comp investigations, saying “your amount of knowledge on this subject is embarrassingly low.” When she pointed out she’d tried without success to get more information from the city, including six unsuccessful requests for interviews with Peyton, he snapped, “Well, then, maybe you’re not effective. Maybe you’re not effective.”

Bouquets to Frieda Saraga, founder and president of the Jacksonville chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, for responding to the need of young gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth who’ve left or been kicked out of a parent’s home because of their sexual identity. PFLAG is asking members to donate packaged meals and canned food at its monthly meetings to establish a food bank specifically for young sexual minorities living on their own.

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MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 7

Sale

NewsBuzz Let Me Ride Billy Maule and family abandoned the automobile and rode their bicycles to EverBank Field recently, in an effort “to reduce our carbon footprint” — only to learn that there was no place to lock up their bikes. Security told them they couldn’t use the fence encircling the stadium, and when they asked where the bike racks were, they were told there were none.

Tracey Evans, facilities manager for EverBank Field, says there must have been some miscommunication. She says the facility not only allows bicycle riders to lock up to the fence (“It’s the biggest bike rack we have”), but there are bike racks on the north side of the stadium between the Mathews and Hart bridges.

Home Grown “Wake up and Smell the Dollars! Whose Inner-City is this Anyway?”

— Title of the book women’s rights pioneer Dorothy Pitman Hughes (right) wrote about her dedication to bringing life back to so-called “Empowerment Zones.” Hughes, who organized New York City’s first battered women’s shelter in the 1970s, has turned her efforts to gardening. Hughes appears with Gloria Steinem at the University of North Florida on Thursday, March 10 for their lecture, “Lift! Don’t Separate,” with the proceeds benefiting community gardens in Charles Junction, Ga., and here on Jacksonville’s Northside. Hughes’ parents were among the African-American families who settled Charles Junction in the 1920s, and who were kicked off their property in the 1990s to make way for white landowners. Hughes bought 23 acres there a few years ago to establish a communal farm.

Now a resident of Jacksonville, Hughes wants to give Jacksonville’s Northside that opportunity, too, establishing an organic garden there. For information about lecture, go to liftdontseparate.org

8 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

Following the Money

Who’s lining up to support Jacksonville’s next mayor?

W

hen mayoral candidates must refer voters to the Supervisor of Elections’ website to see who their top donors are instead of being able to rattle them off — as Rick Mullaney has often done — it’s a good sign that some serious interests are influencing this year’s race. What started out as a crowded field of 16 candidates for Jacksonville’s top office has dwindled to just four candidates with campaign coffers big enough to be viable in the March 22 primary election. From pensions to pollution, Jacksonville’s next mayor will be faced with many challenges, and a look at their campaign finance records tells the tale of who’s likely to benefit.

Republican candidates Rick Mullaney, Audrey Moran and Mike Hogan and Democrat Alvin Brown have collectively raised more than $1.6 million to fuel their bids to become Jacksonville’s next chief executive (according to the most recent records available at press time).

The approach to cramming their coffers differs as widely as their plans to restore Jacksonville — Mullaney looking to stalwart local politicos, Moran seeking the center, Hogan courting union and Tea Party support and Brown leveraging Democratic Party connections. Where they got their money and how they spend it gives voters the best idea of what lies ahead when one of them is elected.

Based on the number of television ads that have already hit the airwaves, it’s no surprise that Jacksonville’s former General Counsel and top pensioner, Rick Mullaney, has led the campaign money race from the start. In his campaign’s first quarter alone, he raised a record-setting $358,000 and gained the support of Protect The Taxpayers, a media-savvy 527 organization promoting job growth and government reduction. Mullaney donations poured in from all directions, with individual donations making up the lion’s share

of his take. Recent reports show that nearly 72 percent of his contributions comes from individuals from every walk of life in the county, ranging from homemaker to physician.

Business and political contributions provide a substantial boost to his war chest, including $82,000 from attorneys and $139,000 from land developers and financiers. Well-known politicos and lobbyists have thrown their support behind Mullaney as well. Campaign finance reports list lobbyist Paul Harden and Associates and public relations firm Wiles Boselli LLC as supporters, along with Herb Peyton and three of his Gate Petroleum companies. With a substantial war chest at his disposal, Mullaney has spared few expenses and has already spent more than $360,000 on his mayoral run, including $214,000 on consulting services, $75,000 on office expenses and $35,000 for campaign events.

Jacksonville’s second-largest mayoral fundraiser, Audrey Moran, fared half as well as Mullaney but has still managed to raise nearly $400,000. Like Mullaney, 71 percent of her supporters are listed as individual contributors, ranging from students to stockbrokers.

Although Mullaney has locked up much of the local legal and real estate communities, Moran has still managed to net $45,000 from attorneys and $65,000 from developers and bankers. Her expenses have been far less extravagant than Mullaney’s, with only $28,000 going toward consulting services, $40,000 for office essentials and $20,000 for events. Finance reports did reveal a $2,995 September reimbursement for a Jacksonville Regional Chamber of Commerce Leadership trip that occurred shortly before she secured that organization’s endorsement.

Longtime Jacksonville politician and incumbent Duval County Tax Collector Mike Hogan rounds out the top three mayoral

contenders with just over $370,000 in his campaign till. Endorsed by the police and fire unions, along with the Concerned Taxpayers of Duval County, Hogan raised a third of his funds from business and political donations.

He received generous support from local real estate interests and is second only to Mullaney in donations from Realtors, developers and bankers.

From the $230,387 Mike Hogan spent to fund his bid, he’s paid for everything from consultants to face-painting clowns. Hogan’s expense report chronicles a $4,369 Westside pheasant-hunting event, and nearly $132,000 for consulting services, along with $48,000 in office expenses.

Onetime Al Gore advisor Alvin Brown has trailed in campaign funding and received half of his funds from Democratic Party donations totaling more than $59,0000 — plus a maximum donation from Congresswoman Corrine Brown (no relation). Since September, Brown’s expenses have included $7,257 for photography, $827 for employee parking and $1,515 to host an event to woo his former colleagues at Washington, D.C.’s City Club.

With $1.6 million raised, not one of the leading mayoral candidates has managed to top $700 in contributions from environmental groups, so it is a fair bet the St. Johns River may lose regardless of who wins. But if campaign habits are truly predictors of what’s to come, it’s safe to say Rick Mullaney will stay the course and let River City oligarchs continue to hold sway, Mike Hogan will keep it down-home with today’s Dixiecrats, Alvin Brown will seek convenient truths from his Beltway buddies and Audrey Moran might usher in some fresh sensibility.

Nick Callahan themail@folioweekly.com

Callahan writes for the local political blog JaxPoliticsOnline.com

2011 JACKSONVILLE MAYORAL CONTRIBUTIONS AND EXPENSES CANDIDATE

BUSINESS & PARTY/PAC CONTRIBUTIONS

INDIVIDUAL CONTRIBUTIONS

TOTAL CONTRIBUTIONS

EXPENSES

Rick Mullaney

$199,117.12

$501,564.24

$700,681.36

($361,701.63)

Audrey Moran

$110,815.20

$274,256.23

$385,071.43

($286,295.99)

Mike Hogan

$123,428.64

$247,416.15

$370,844.79

($230,387.48)

Alvin Brown

$80,286.70

$86,038.15

$166,324.85

($33,083.35)

$1,109,274.77

$1,622,922.43

($911,468.45)

TOTALS

$513,647.66 CONTRIBUTIONS BY OCCUPATION TYPE

CANDIDATE

PAC/PARTIES

ATTORNEY

ENVIRONMENTAL

FINANCE & REAL ESTATE*

CONSULTING FEES

EXPENSES BY TYPE OFFICE EVENTS & LOGISTICS ENTERTAINMENT

Rick Mullaney

$200.00

$82,839.02

$400.00

$139,216.10

($214,770.13)

($75,675.30)

($35,560.25)

Audrey Moran

$1,000.00

$45,050.00

$500.00

$65,786.93

($12,000.00)

($40,216.38)

($20,236.12) ($14,297.31)

Mike Hogan

$1,500.00

$10,725.00

$700.00

$70,095.77

($132,115.26)

($48,547.32)

Alvin Brown

$59,251.70

$13,293.90

$0.00

$7,100.00

($907.00)

($15,502.29)

TOTALS

$61,951.70

$151,907.92

$1,600.00

$282,198.80

($359,792.39) ($179,941.29)

($2,676.07)

($72,769.75)

*Includes Bankers, Investment, Real Estate, Construction, Contractors, Engineers and Land Development Occupations

EXPENSE ODDITIES

MULLANEY

MORAN

Rick Mullaney

($674.40)

Auto Insurance

Audrey Moran

($2,995.00)

9/10 Jax Chamber Trip

Mike Hogan

($4,369.51)

Pheasant Hunt

Alvin Brown

($7,257.77)

Photos HOGAN

BROWN

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 9

10 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

Sportstalk Monsters, Inc.

Trucks in the Muck: Duval’s Dirty Id

A

s I watched CNN cover Qaddafi’s last speech, where he bemoaned his reign being besieged by al-Qaeda-affiliated “drug-using youths who put hallucinogens into their Nescafé,” a friend’s Facebook update afforded me a taste of what I should expect at the next day’s monster truck rally: “@lanop three rednecks talking about bringing a rifle scope … to ‘see into the trucks’.”

Oh, Dirty Duval. The tale may be apocryphal.

But my God, doesn’t it ever ring true?

Monster truck rallies being Duval County’s true favorite sport is so appropriate.

We exist in planned clusters — Hobbesian quasi-neighborhoods huddled in the interrogation-bright floodlights nightly illuminating Big Box stores. Other things?

Don’t draw. Not really their faults. The things we enjoy here are simple. (Like jokes from mayoral candidates, terroristic threats masked in jest, about blowing up abortion clinics — and yet, I still see his lawn signs.)

Monster truck rallies are like bedbugs in Manhattan or viscera on the bathroom wall. A fact of life, like being underwater on your mortgage or knowing that, if you live long enough, your children will look upon you with shame, disgust, pity and then, with the finality of a late-night bedroom doorslamming, despair.

Like domestic incidents and DCF calls, monster truck rallies happen here all the time. They are the new pro wrestling. Yet in all my life, at least until this past weekend, I’d never been to one, not even once. Never smoked the big trucks’ fumes, never inhaled.

Until Saturday night.

I was told to “dress like a redneck.” No, thanks. I grew up poor, wore second-hand clothes not because they were the rage but because K-Mart was an indulgence. Those foam “trucker” caps from convenience stores?

I wore them, and didn’t know any better. I knew some folks there would wear that gear — some ironically, some less so. And then it occurred to me: Monster truck rallies, in this idiocratic age of collective public buffoonery, play into what people want. A bland, inoffensive, dumbed-down and amped-up display of big trucks doing stupid stunts; a cheesy and obvious, synthesized, whored-out display, as predictable as Punch and Judy or a kindergarten production of a religious play.

The names of the trucks, base and ridic, perfect for a lobotomized culture that names its kids after everything from margarine to Tanqueray, as if they know that we might as well be named after products because we are effectively commodities, albeit those found wanting in the harsh light of the marketplace.

Kids like them, yes, and for kids, monster trucks are a fine thing, equal parts superhero and Transformer, with gimmicks they can grab onto and embrace like the fathers they will never really know.

That said, most of those who were there, were — nominally speaking — adults. Like the troika of randy twentysomethings I watched during the National Anthem. As

the bombs burst in air, this enterprising young fella in an Affliction shirt exhibited his patriotic fervor by palming the patooties of his porcine female companions. Beats the old hand-on-the-heart routine any day.

Yes, the trucks battled, but it doesn’t matter who won. What matters is that the beer flowed and the booboosie had a good time, distracted on one balmy Saturday night

Monster truck rallies, in this idiocratic age of collective public buffoonery, play into what people want. A bland, inoffensive, dumbed down and amped up display. from the pure hell of the “global security” situation and the medium and long term effects of the erosion of the American position. Never mind that, though, as long as Gravedigger showed up. And the truck that looked like a dog, and the Superman one, that obvious homage to Friedrich Nietzsche.

And the thing is — it’ll be back next year.

Tickets went on sale for that within hours of this year’s last roar. You may not like it, you may not love it, but the thing is, you have to kiss the monster trucks’ rings. You probably couldn’t name one of the behemoths’ drivers on a bet, but fact is, nothing else here can fill that oversized stadium.

Even the folks in the neighborhood around there knew it. Off Randolph, the locals were literally jumping off their porches, in feverish, frantic bids to get people to park in their yards, up to half-a-mile from the event. These are the lean months, the football-less months, and who knows when the Jags will be back? They were wise to attempt to suck up the suburbanites’ scrilla while they could.

AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11

The Charlie Sheen Network F

© 2011

12 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

irst of all, it should be noted that Charlie Sheen — if he’s still alive — is making me look bad. Not to brag, but I’ve been doing this “banging hookers/guzzling liquor/snorting goofballs” shtick for the last 15 years — and yet has a single producer from “Good Morning, America” asked ME for an interview? Is my taste in porn stars not good enough? Doesn’t my ability to inhale a seven-gram rock of blow off the ground from a standing position warrant a similar type of attention? It’s HORSE HOCKEY, my friend. HORSE … HOCKEY!!

However! I will once again agree to be the “bigger person” in this totally unfair scenario.

BUT BEFORE I DO, LET ME SAY THIS: If I had known that achieving this kind of notoriety is as simple as doling out batshitcrazy quips (“Vatican assassin warlocks,” “I’m an F-18, bro,”) while calling my boss antiSemitic names and Thomas Jefferson a “pussy” (which he totally was — but that’s beside the point), I would have cultivated a mental illness years ago!

That said, I totally agree that Charlie Sheen should never appear on “Two and a Half Men” again. HE SHOULD HAVE HIS OWN NETWORK! Oprah has her own network, and it’s about as interesting as watching mold grow. Charlie himself says he’s in talks with HBO (which HBO is violently denying) to star in a show called “Sheen’s Corner” — which is the most terrible name since “The Vagina Monologues II: Vagisil’s Revenge.” A piece of work like Charlie does not have a show called “Sheen’s Corner.” A piece of work like Charlie has a whole network of awesomely named shows … such as these: “Charlie Sheen’s Super Sexy Submarine!”

Each week, Charlie and his crew of 13 porn stars violate the territorial waters of a different country in a nuclear-powered sub filled with booze and cocaine. After that? Who knows what’ll happen? They may rescue (and make love to) a baby dolphin. They may assassinate (and make love to) Kim Jong-il. Or they may just decide to sleep for an entire episode. All I know for sure is that the periscope is shaped like a penis.

“Charlie Sheen’s Totally Obscene Bathing Machine!” Charlie travels the country along with (how’d you guess?) 13 porn stars in an 18-wheeler converted into a ginormous Jacuzzi. Along the way, he’ll bathe and interview celebs like Barack Obama, Maya Angelou and Stephen Hawking. And he’ll make mad love to ’em.

“Charlie Sheen’s Wolverine Vaccine Trampoline!” OK, the plot for this one’s a tad convoluted, but bear with me: Every week, Charlie (yes, yes — with 13 porn stars) snorts enough coke to turn his skin inside out. He rides a talking wolverine named “Kevin” to the alternate universe “Throw Down Bro-Town” where he makes motivational speeches on “WINNING!” to stadiums filled with syphilisinfected Norwegian pygmies. He does the pygmies on a trampoline, eats the trampoline, and poops a vaccine to cure anyone suffering

FolioWeekly

from advanced Jeffersonian pussification.

You’re right … not nearly crazy enough.

TUESDAY, MARCH 8 8:00 FOX GLEE

Gwyneth Paltrow returns to teach the (shudder) sex education class! GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! 9:00 FOX RAISING HOPE

Jimmy’s cousin blows into town with his new wife and … umm … three new “brotherhusbands.”

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 9 10:00 MTV THE REAL WORLD

Season premiere! Season 25 begins with the roomies moving into their Las Vegas pad (which should be covered in plastic, if you ask me).

10:00 TLC HOARDING: BURIED ALIVE

A hoarder is forced to choose between his daughter and his hoard. (Not the no-brainer you’d think.)

THURSDAY, MARCH 10 8:00 FOX AMERICAN IDOL

One of the final 10 is exterminated … wait … read that wrong. Make that “eliminated.” Sigh.

10:00 MTV JERSEY SHORE

Sammi is texting someone, which makes Ronnie suspicious — since she can neither read or write.

FRIDAY, MARCH 11 9:00 ANI FATAL ATTRACTIONS: CROCS

Season finale! A man who sleeps with two crocodiles in his bed. Top THAT, Charlie Sheen!

9:00 HBO THE RICKY GERVAIS SHOW

Find out what Karl Pilkington would do when the world ends — and then do the opposite.

SATURDAY, MARCH 12 9:00 SYFY BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES — Movie

(2011) Not to be confused with the similarly titled major motion picture “Battle: Los Angeles.” Nice try, Syfy!

11:30 NBC SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

The never-not-hilarious Zach Galifianakis returns as host, with musical guest Jessie J.

SUNDAY, MARCH 13 9:00 NBC CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

The celebs are instructed to write a children’s book, and OH BOY! I cannot wait to read Lil’ Jon’s!

10:00 TLC HOARDING: BURIED ALIVE

A hoarder is forced to eat her meals in her car … because she can’t fit into her house!

MONDAY, MARCH 14 8:00 ABC THE BACHELOR

Season finale! Brad hands out his final rose … along with a salve that’s supposed to stop the burning — but doesn’t.

9:00 VH1 WEDDING WARS

Debut! Engaged couples are dumped into the jungle to compete for — tuxes and gowns?

OHHH-KAY. Wm.™ Steven Humphrey steve@portlandmercury.com

FEBRUARY 2011

Courtesy SJCSO

MUGSHOT, SEPTEMBER 2005

RESURRECTION TALE

BY SUSAN COOPER EASTMAN • PHOTOS BY WALTER COKER

UNDAUNTED BY ARREST, DISGRACE AND COLLAPSE OF HIS PUBLISHING EMPIRE, PONTE VEDRA BUSINESSMAN JOHN CONSTANTINO IS BACK IN BUSINESS

T

he rise and fall and resurrection of the sometimes personable, always voluble and lately volcanic Ponte Vedra publisher John Constantino is one dramatic crash-and-burn story in a decade that’s seen its share.

Constantino, who recently began printing a new publication, Today’s Buyer…Ponte Vedra, published the glossy Ponte Vedra Lifestyle magazine from October 2000 to November 2003 as a paean to the good life in the plush St. Johns County community of Ponte Vedra Beach. But his own lifestyle, at least as described in sworn statements and law enforcement interviews with drug dealers and pimps who claim to have been Constantino’s intimates, was markedly different. According to them, as well as some of his former employees and business associates, the collapse of his magazine business tracked closely with the disintegration of his personal life, a pattern that allegedly began with illicit activity and culminated with bounced paychecks to employees, unpaid debt to advertisers, and finally Constantino’s arrest on felony charges of larceny, dealing in stolen goods and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon. He was charged with stealing the rare gun collection of then-St. Johns County Commission Chair Bruce Maguire, his friend, financier and political ally. And while the case was never prosecuted, in large part because so much of the evidence depended on the contradictory testimony of lowlifes, it did require the

payment of $20,000 to Maguire to settle the matter.

Whether any of that history deserves airing at this point is a matter of perspective. Constantino recently began publishing again. Today’s Buyer…Ponte Vedra is an 8½-by-11-inch direct-mail newsprint magazine, featuring light editorial content (cookie baking tips, how to arrange living room furniture) alongside full color ads from national advertisers like Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, The UPS Store, Five Guys Burgers & Fries. Today’s Buyer, which printed its fourth issue last month, is a vehicle to promote both Constantino himself (a feature story on a Ponte Vedra author inexplicably features a photo of him standing with John Constantino) and his hour-long AM radio talk show, “First Coast Lifestyle.”

The result is a media presence that echoes but does not explicitly acknowledge Constantino’s previous incarnation as a publisher. And that has some observers wondering if his past deserves a more thorough vetting.

For his part, Constantino says it does not, and has turned the reporting of the story into an opportunity to lambaste Folio Weekly on the radio as a morally bankrupt Socialist rag published by deviants and homosexuals. But those burned by the sudden demise of Ponte Vedra Lifestyle, as well as community observers who’ve watched with alarm as Constantino recreates a very similar publishing platform, believe the past must at least be acknowledged, if only to ensure it isn’t repeated.

W

hen Constantino was at the top of his game in June 2002, he talked media empire. At that time, his ambitions seemed reachable. The then-41-yearold, blockily handsome Long Island-reared and Hofstra University-educated, Italian-American Catholic (who says in his bio that he once worked as an accountant on Wall Street) had moved to Ponte Vedra with his wife Christine in 1997. After working as a salesman for the Financial News & Daily Record, he decided to start his own publication.

In October 2000, he and Christine launched Ponte Vedra Lifestyle, a glossy magazine printed on expensive card stock,

published quarterly and mailed to homes and businesses in Ponte Vedra Beach. With a focus on local business owners and neighborhoods, and featuring Constantino’s own socially and politically conservative publisher’s column, the magazine catered to the housing boom, and was awash in ads from builders and Realtors. By 2002, Constantino was printing the magazine 10 times a year, mailing it to 13,000 businesses and boasting 5,200 paid subscribers.

Constantino told the Jacksonville Business Journal in a June 2002 interview that he expected to gross $2 million in revenue by the end of that year and to start a chain of magazines modeled on Ponte Vedra Lifestyle’s luster. They would serve moneyed Southern enclaves such as Hilton Head, the Georgia Sea Islands, Savannah, Myrtle Beach and Charleston. He’d already begun publishing a second magazine, Amelia Island Lifestyle, as a quarterly, and he was preparing to unveil a weekly newspaper, the St. Johns Post, with a newsier bent. Constantino also hoped to buy an AM station that would broadcast conservative talk radio and sports programming from Jacksonville Beach to St. Augustine.

Lots of businesses were feeling expansive in 2002, the early days of the Florida housing boom. But Constantino had added reason for confidence: a backer who could provide him with infusions of capital. Bruce Maguire was campaigning in 2002 for the St. Johns County Commission seat occupied by Mary Kohnke. As a member of an oldtime St. Johns County family with large land holdings in timber and agriculture, Maguire had ample financial resources. Maguire liked Constantino’s conservative politics and his magazine, and rented office space to him in one of his buildings on Sawgrass Drive West. Maguire became involved in the magazine financially, signing bank notes on Constantino’s behalf, according to Constantino. Eventually, Maguire named Constantino his campaign manager.

For his part, Constantino published favorable pieces on Maguire and criticized Kohnke as anti-growth. The two men became a common sight on St. Johns County’s social circuit, and Ponte Vedra Lifestyle was chock full of pictures of Maguire. (One of Constantino’s friends recently told him MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 13

RESURRECTION TALE

they played a Bruce Maguire version of “Where’s Waldo?” when the magazine arrived in the mail.) Constantino’s newspaper, the St. Johns Post, endorsed Maguire in the commission race.

Today, Constantino boasts that he boosted Maguire’s public profile and his polling numbers by 25 points, and helped him win the commission seat. But the relationship raised ethical questions at the time. Some observers (including Folio Weekly) thought Constantino needed to disclose his role as Maguire’s campaign manager in his newspaper’s endorsements of Maguire. Other critics questioned whether Maguire’s frequent appearances in Ponte Vedra Lifestyle constituted political advertising, and therefore required disclosure on campaign finance reports.

Both men dismissed the criticism then, and Maguire still defends the magazine.

“He had a good, solid business,” says Maguire. “He had half-a-dozen employees putting out a wonderful product, a very upscale magazine with a very solid physical presence.”

Then it all fell apart. In September 2003, a little over a year after the optimistic Jacksonville Business Journal interview, employees say their paychecks started bouncing, according to the civil lawsuit six of them filed for back wages (a case that was later dropped). Two months later, Ponte Vedra Lifestyle published its last issue.

Looking back, a former employee says they all should have realized something was amiss when a prostitute was discovered driving Constantino’s car in Jacksonville in March 2003. Constantino reported the car stolen to the St. Augustine Police Department on Feb. 26, 2003. When his car was located on March 6, the woman at the wheel, Marshail Gillyard, told police she was a prostitute and that she’d taken the car with Constantino’s permission after they’d smoked crack together. The same incident report says Constantino admitted to St. Augustine Police Chief David Shoar (now the St. Johns County Sheriff ) that he “had in fact been with M. Gillyard.” Although Constantino faced charges of filing a false police report, the case was closed without charges.

Looking back, says the former Ponte Vedra Lifestyle employee, “That should have been a red flag.”

O

ver the 2003 Thanksgiving holiday, Bruce Maguire called the St. Johns County Sheriff ’s Office to report his gun collection stolen. At the time, he told detectives he had no clue who might have

Constantino’s new publication.

14 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

“It’s a touchy thing,” says Constantino. “I’m trying to recreate a business, and you are digging a hole in front of me.”

taken the guns, though he did mention he and John Constantino had keys to the Sawgrass Corners conference room that they both used for storage.

St. Johns County detectives Tim Rollins and Chris Wensil spoke to Constantino about the missing weapons and found him “very cooperative,” according to their report. He told detectives that both the building and the storage room were left unlocked at times and “anyone off the street could’ve committed the offense.” He also said Maguire was a friend and that he “would never steal from Bruce Maguire.” Officers took fingerprints at the scene, but had no leads, and soon listed the case as inactive.

It wasn’t until Jan. 9, 2005, that the Sheriff ’s Office reopened the investigation. Their interest was triggered by a phone call to Maguire from Laura Golden, a woman who ran a prostitution service in Jacksonville, and who claimed to be familiar with Constantino and the gun theft. According to Det. Rollins’ investigative report, Maguire set up a meeting with her and a detective. At the meeting, Golden told the men that Constantino had stolen Maguire’s gun collection to pay a drug debt to her drug-dealing ex-boyfriend. For the following month, however, Golden avoided detectives and rebuffed their requests for her to sign an affidavit. It was only after she was arrested and called Maguire from the Duval County Jail on Feb. 6 that Golden agreed to give a statement.

According to Golden’s sworn statement, Constantino had a running debt with her then-boyfriend Nate LaCasse for drugs, and would periodically give him blank checks to hold against what he owed. She indicated that Constantino wasn’t just a customer, but a friend.

When she and Nate LaCasse were kicked out of a motel for fighting, and Golden arrested, she told detectives Constantino paid her bond, and invited the couple to stay at his Arbor Club condo in Ponte Vedra. When she needed to rent an apartment, she told detectives Constantino created a fake W-2 for her, stating she was a graphic designer at Ponte Vedra Lifestyle, thus giving the illusion of a steady paycheck.

Sheriff ’s detectives then tracked down Golden’s drug-dealing ex-boyfriend Nate LaCasse and one of her escort service drivers, Josh Hutchins. In a taped interview with

detectives, LaCasse confirmed most of Golden’s story. He said Constantino was a steady crack cocaine and prostitute customer who gave the couple blank checks against his debt. He provided detectives one of the blank checks as evidence, and told them that Constantino’s debt ran to about $18,000. And he said that one day, Constantino drove up in his Chrysler van and delivered a collection of guns wrapped in a green cloth bag marked with the name Bruce Maguire, and they stashed them in the attic.

Josh Hutchins confirmed this version of events — the van, the bag, the attic. Golden, who told

enough to build a case on, however, and the State Attorney for the Seventh Judicial District ultimately dropped all charges against Constantino. (At the time, the State Attorney’s seat was held by John Tanner. The current State Attorney is R.J. Larizza, Constantino’s defense attorney in the case.)

For his part, Constantino denies any of it happened. He says he didn’t know Laura Golden, her drug-dealing boyfriend or her driver. He says he didn’t steal Maguire’s guns.

And he scoffs at Folio Weekly for asking him about his arrest and at the St. Johns Sheriff ’s

Looking back, a former employee says they all should have realized something was amiss when a prostitute was discovered driving Constantino’s car in Jacksonville in March 2003. “That should have been a red flag.” detectives she was in another room during the exchange, said she did see the guns later.

Their stories didn’t jibe completely. (LaCasse said all three looked over the weapons when they were delivered; Golden disagreed.) And there were weak points in their stories, from a prosecutor’s perspective, including the fact that Golden acknowledged contacting LaCasse several times so they could “get their story straight,” and that both Golden and LaCasse gave their stories only after being arrested.

But the witnesses told their stories complete with the banalities of daily life (Josh Hutchins said he was “feeding the puppies” in the garage when Constantino drove up), in a way that made them oddly persuasive. All three immediately picked Constantino out of a photo lineup. And there was some physical evidence. In addition to the check that LaCasse gave detectives, dated Jan. 19, 2004, detectives recovered two of the guns. Acting on a tip from Laura Golden, officers went to the Normandy Pawn Shop in Jacksonville where they recovered a flintlock rifle and a Dublin rifle that they determined were Maguire’s. (Read the complete investigative file at bit.ly/constantino) The guns and the blank check weren’t

Office for taking Golden seriously. He notes that she told detectives that she didn’t even see the guns when they were delivered, and suggests the rest of her claim is worthless.

“Some verified crack whore says I took Maguire’s guns,” he says. “Oh. She had a record already. Yeah, she’s a real class citizen. She’s a person we should take her at her word on.”

Of course, Constantino himself has a record. He was arrested on Nov. 11, 1985, in Kings County, N.Y., and pled guilty to seconddegree felony grand larceny, for which he received five years’ probation. (Constantino declined to discuss the New York charges, saying only, “I’m not going to have a comment about that.”)

Constantino also denies that he agreed to settle the gun theft case with Maguire.

Although Maguire says he received a check in July 2006 from Constantino’s attorney R.J. Larizza for $20,000 — the value of the stolen guns — Constantino insists it wasn’t his money. In fact, he acts as though he’s hearing of the payment for the first time. Asked where the money came from, if not from Constantino or his family, Constantino, seemingly dumbfounded, replies, “I don’t know.”

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 15

Former County Commissioner Bruce Maguire says he got a $20,000 check from Constantino’s attorney to settle the theft of his guns, but he doesn’t necessarily expect to recover the $250,000 he lost when Ponte Vedra Lifestyle tanked.

E

ight years after he last published Ponte Vedra Lifestyle, Constantino is back, with a new publication and a weekly radio show on 600 AM, WBOB. Today’s Buyer doesn’t have the luxe feel of Ponte Vedra Lifestyle. It’s a pumped-up shopper, newsprint with the added feature of four-color printing. Most of the material inside is purchased from Tribune Media Services (Constantino lists celebrity Chef Wolfgang Puck as a contributing writer.)

But there’s also original content written by Constantino and former Ponte Vedra Recorder reporter Chuck Day. In the third issue, in “Thoughts from the Publisher,” Constantino wrote about Christmas traditions in his Italian Catholic family. He then swerved into a discussion of the “Merry Christmas!”/“Happy Holidays!” dichotomy and offered his opinion that big government wants to supplant religion.

Vedra Lifestyle. The fact that he’s resurrected that business plan has caused some consternation among former employees and associates. One former employee, who would only speak off the record, said that Constantino’s track record is “concerning” and should give anyone he does business with pause. “I would just caution anyone going forward to look at his past.”

Constantino dismisses such concerns, and insists that nobody has ever challenged him about his past or asked him to explain what happened.

“Never has one person turned me down for an ad for anything that’s been written about me, the negative lies and innuendo and salacious gossip,” he says. “My picture was splashed all over the news. My picture was on the front page. What happened? The story was out. Then no story. The charges were dropped. … The only people to ask is Folio Weekly. I think that’s

Those burned by the sudden demise of Ponte © 2010 FolioWeekly Vedra Lifestyle, as well as community observers who’ve watched with alarm as Constantino recreates a very similar publishing platform, believe the past must at least be acknowledged, if only to ensure it isn’t repeated.

16 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

“I feel if our government is penalizing me because I believe in God … they are penalizing me because I follow the rules … I think those in ‘power’ feel that if we are not allowed to worship and praise God, then eventually that belief system will fade away. They want us to believe that government is the belief system.

That government is the answer to any question.”

It’s a patter repeated on his radio show, where the voluble host demonstrates his AM radio bonafides in an almost nonstop flow of opinion. In explaining where he’s at today at 50, Constantino says his current focus is reflected in the subjects he talks about on the radio — his life as a single dad, his Catholic faith, his conservative politics and the traditional values he upholds.

“I’m all for life, life, life,” he said during an initial telephone conversation. “I’m trying to be a positive voice in a world that has become anti, where everybody is preaching negativity, where everybody is looking for the next boogieman.

Is it H1N1? Is it Egypt? My thinking is 900 people are doing the boogieman. I’m going to talk about positive things.”

Constantino says he ultimately plans to publish editions of Today’s Buyer in places like Myrtle Beach, Hilton Head, Charleston and Savannah — just as he wanted to do with Ponte

because I’m pro-life and Folio is pro-death.”

The media coverage of the arrest, however, was surprisingly muted. Although the St. Augustine Record did a story after his arrest (a story that also appeared in The Florida TimesUnion), there was no follow-up, and certainly no detailed examination of the charges. Still, Constantino doesn’t think any purpose is served by further examining the past.

“Stuff happened and everybody goes on with life,” he says. “The accusations were made, my name was hurt, but the old saying, you know, ‘Everything comes out in the laundry.’ And to boot, the charges were dropped. What should I do? Take out a full page to say what happened?

What for? It happened. It’s over. Move on.”

A

s with any business collapse, the demise of Ponte Vedra Living had some victims.

People lost money. One prominent Ponte Vedra real estate agent, who didn’t return Folio Weekly’s calls, is rumored to have lost $10,000 that she paid up-front for a series of full-page ads. Paychecks to Constantino’s employees bounced. Maguire says he is personally out about $250,000 for bank notes he signed on Constantino’s behalf, and he estimates that at the time the magazine stopped publication, the

RESURRECTION TALE company had some $500,000 in debts.

But efforts to recover those losses mostly failed. Though former Ponte Vedra Lifestyle employees filed suit for unpaid wages, they eventually dropped the matter. Their attorney, John Nall (whose sister Valerie was one of the plaintiffs), said Constantino didn’t have any money to go after. Constantino’s response might have given the plaintiffs pause, too. In a typed letter included in the court file, he accused his former employees of slander, libel and defamation of character, and identified several who’d asked him to falsify pay records in order to obtain mortgages. He also wrote that he regularly kept the employees informed of the lack of funds and always asked, “Will you stay or will you go?”

One employee remembers those conversations ending with, “Don’t abandon the ship.”

The Printing House in Tallahassee, which printed Ponte Vedra Lifestyle from June to December 2002, also sought to recover losses, winning a final judgment in February 2006 against Constantino’s publishing company for $54,963, plus prejudgment interest of $18,187 and $145.50 in court fees. The most recent filing in the case is dated June 2006.

The company’s attorney Kevin Murha said after deposing Constantino and reviewing his assets, the company decided not to pursue the claim.

Bruce Maguire, who is no longer a county commissioner, doesn’t necessarily expect to recover the money he lost, but says Constantino has at least made noises about repaying the debt. Maguire says Constantino called him a few months ago and told him about his new publication. “John admitted he owes me money and he apologized for what happened. He said he wanted to make things straight. The question now is for him to do it.”

Despite his trail of red ink, in Constantino’s mind, he’s the victim. He realizes some advertisers were left in the lurch, and says he’s offered to make good by offering them competitive ad rates in his new publication. But he insists he lost money, too, on advertising that appeared in the magazine but for which he was never paid. And he blames the demise of the magazine not on his management of it, but on the viciousness of St. Johns County politics, the envy of competitors and the greed and spitefulness of his two business partners.

According to Constantino, Maguire and Constantino’s attorney John Latshaw (who traded ads for legal services and was at one time considered a magazine partner) decided to push him out and take control of the company. He claims they told advertisers his business was in trouble, and then Maguire’s banker called in the notes. Constantino says that after freezing his account, Heritage Bank vice president Charles Schultz contacted his advertisers and told them to send their payments to the bank, not Constantino. He tried to open another account at a different bank, but says Schultz had noted on an internal credit report of some sort that he was a high risk. Asked why Schultz would sabotage his business, Constantino says it was retribution.

He says he refused to let Schultz and Maguire put his name on a land deal that would allow Maguire to benefit financially from the Nocatee development he voted on as a commissioner.

Constantino also claims he also angered county political heavyweights. He says the editor of Ponte Vedra Lifestyle received a phone call from Jacksonville PR and political consultant Paul McCormick, threatening to pull

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 17

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accounts unless the magazine backed the This is a copyright protectedad proof © correct candidate in county commission races.

ons, please call your advertising representative at PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 serving you over 30 years OF BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION

“I took that personally,” says Constantino.

“Now you’re talking about taking food out of 260-9770. RUN DATE: 030811 the mouth of my kids …” (McCormick says the telephone call never happened. “Sorry, but I can’t take credit for the failure of his business.”)

Produced by ab Checked by Sales Rep erin Constantino says The Florida TimesUnion went after him because Ponte Vedra Lifestyle was competing with the newspaper’s Water’s Edge publication, and that the paper began spreading rumors that his distribution figures were phony. He says the St. Augustine Record was equally threatened by the publication of the St. Johns Post.

“I was a threat to the good ol’ boys,” says Constantino. “They had to push me aside, to denigrate me, to knock me and beat on me.”

In addition to the business pressures he faced, Constantino’s father was recovering from a bout with cancer and his marriage was falling

© 2009 folioweekly

Constantino warns that he is readying a mass email to send to all Folio Weekly advertisers, asking them to pull their ads in protest of the magazine’s depraved content — including the men-seeking-men classifieds, “pornographic content” masquerading as massage therapy and © 2011 FolioWeekly what he dubs “the fornicators.” apart. John and Christine Constantino’s divorce was finalized on Nov. 19, 2003. There was a hint of a drug problem in the divorce documents filed in the St. Johns County Court and signed by both Christine and John Constantino on Oct. 13, 2003. It stipulates that “husband shall not have any unsupervised visitation [with his daughter] until such time that he has clean drug screens for a period of one year.” There are no documents in the court file indicating whether Constantino completed the screens, nor any documentation amending the visitation conditions. Constantino’s ex-wife, who is remarried, would only say that the stipulation was part of a then-“pending” settlement, and notes that today her daughter lives with her ex-husband two weeks out of the month.

“I’m not saying it was an issue at the time,” she snaps. “But obviously, I wouldn’t let my daughter stay there if there was a problem.”

In December 2004, Constantino filed complaints with the Florida Office of Financial Regulation against Maguire and Schultz. He also filed a complaint that December with The Florida Bar, saying that Latshaw had violated attorney-client privilege by talking about confidential business information.

A month later, whatever problems Constantino was having were about to become very public. The St. Johns County Sheriff ’s Office had a break in the gun theft case. Laura Golden contacted Bruce Maguire on Jan. 9, 2005, and told him she had information about his missing guns.

A

t first, Constantino says he has no problem with Folio Weekly writing about his arrest, as long as the magazine makes it clear that all of the charges were dropped. But in the course of several telephone interviews 18 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

and a meeting at a Ponte Vedra Starbucks, Constantino decides that Folio Weekly is trying to attack and destroy him. He calls the magazine “the antichrist.” He warns that he is readying a mass email to send to all Folio Weekly advertisers, asking them to pull their ads in protest of the magazine’s depraved content — including the men-seeking-men classifieds, “pornographic content” masquerading as massage therapy (“Do you really think they are really giving massages?” he asks) and what he dubs “the fornicators.” He calls Folio Weekly “a gnat in the wind” and “pond scum.” He asks if we are writing about him because we’ve run out of homebuilders to vilify. “There’s no developer out there chopping down a tree that Ponce de Leon might have once walked by, so now you’re going after me?” he asks. During one conversation, he promises he will file criminal charges against a reporter for blackmail.

During another, he hangs up, only to call back

and apologize.

“It’s a very touchy thing. I’m trying to recreate a business, to create a life, and you are digging a hole in front of me,” he says.

Constantino’s faithful listeners are equally mercurial, and apparently just as upset by the story. After Constantino warned in a lengthy on-air segment about the pending story, one listener, who said at one point he’d known Constantino for 15 years, spent the better part of a workday calling every extension at Folio Weekly, and threatening and berating employees. (Despite a clearly identifiable Northern accent and an oft-repeated narrative — his daughter apparently attends school with Constantino’s daughter — the caller stubbornly insisted on anonymity, identifying himself by turns as Billy, Sam Franks, Steve and Joe.) By the end of the week, Constantino was alternately threatening and thanking Folio Weekly. He says the story will bring him listeners, and compares himself to Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly and Sarah Palin — all victims, he says, of liberal media attacks. “I’m in good company,” he says.

But despite his history and volatile personality, some folks think he’ll ultimately succeed. “I think he can,” says Maguire. “John is very creative. He’s very aggressive with business. He’s got the vision and the foresight and he doesn’t stand in the background and whine and complain.”

Maguire’s benevolence may be premature.

Asked about Maguire’s claim that he’s still owed $250,000, Constantino goes on the offensive. If that’s true, he asks, why hasn’t he sued? “Out of guilt?” Constantino asks leadingly. “What did Bruce do wrong that he isn’t suing me?”

Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

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the mustard seed cafe

Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with Lisa Harter’s impeccable style. Popular items are ginger chicken salad, falafel pitas, black bean burgers and Asian noodles with tuna. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

beech street grill

Located in Capt. Bell’s historic 1889 home, Beech Street has daily blackboard specials featuring regional seafood dishes.A full bar is served and an extensive, award-winning wine list is available. Reservations are recommended. Piano entertainment in the dining room is featured Thursday through Saturday evenings. Dress is resort-casual. Open for dinner nightly. Lunch Wed.-Fri. 11:00 a.m.-2p.m. Sunday Brunch 11:00 a.m.-2 p.m. beechstreetgrill.com 801 Beech Street 904-277-3662

plae restaurant & lounge

Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted.

80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

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cafe karibo

Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches.

27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 south eats

This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers traditional world cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m.

Mon.-Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com 29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

brett’s waterway café

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef.

Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily.

Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

t-ray’s burger station moon river pizza

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you.

925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

the surf

Enjoy a casual beach atmosphere in the full-service restaurant, bar and huge oceanview deck. Extensive menu features delicious steaks, fresh seafood and nightly specials. Also featuring salads, wraps, burgers, seafood baskets and our famous all-you-can-eat wing specials (Wed. & Sun.). Take-out available. Open at 11 a.m. daily for lunch, dinner and latenight menu. Entertainment nightly and 29 TVs throughout.

3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-261-5711

sliders seaside grill

Oceanfront dining at its finest! Enjoy our award-winning crab cakes, fresh daily seafood specials and homemade desserts. Sliders has Amelia Island’s only waterfront Tiki Bar, as well as a children’s playground, and live music every weekend. Open at 11 a.m. daily, with happy hour held Monday-Friday from 4-7 p.m. Make Sliders Seaside Grill your place to be for friends and family, entertainment and the best food on the East Coast.

1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-277-6652

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items.

In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go!

Now serving Beer & Wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays.

202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

jack & diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite!

708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

kelley’s courtyard café

From She Crab Soup and salads, fried green tomatoes and a delectable selection of gourmet sandwiches and wraps, visitors to this bright café and patio are treated to a memorable meal.

Signature desserts, vegetarian dishes and catering are available, too. Open Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Dinner 5:30-9pm.

19 S. Third Street 904-432-8213

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 19

20 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

Reasons to leave the house this week One way to describe comedian Lewis Black’s special style of comedic delivery is “enthusiastic.” Or we could say it’s a veritable IED of outrage. Black began his creative career as a playwright in the early ’80s in NYC’s Hell’s Kitchen, but found his ultimate soapbox on the segment “Back in Black” on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.” Black brings his raucous, ranting observational humor to town on Sunday, March 13 at 8 p.m. at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville.

Tickets are $41 and $51. 355-2787.

CLOVER FIELD CELTIC FEST

What’s more fun than dressing up like a leprechaun? Why, dressing up like a mythical wee gold-digger along with a few thousand of your new best (and possibly drunk) friends! The inaugural St. Augustine Celtic Music & Arts Festival is held Friday, March 11 through Thursday, March 17 in various venues in St. Augustine — a week filled with live music, Irish drink and eats, traditional dancing and storytelling, a St. Patrick’s Day parade and more shamrocks than you can shake a shillelagh at!

Ticket prices start at $30; weeklong passes start at $95. For a complete schedule of events and to purchase tickets, visit romanzafl.org.

SWEET COUNTRY SUGARLAND

$WEET RIDE CONCOURS D’ELEGANCE

Calling the Amelia Island 2011 Concours D’Elegance a “car show” is like calling a sliver of finely crafted Caciocavallo Podolico “some darn good Eye-talian cheese.”

Philistines! The show, a celebration of vintage and high-end automobiles, is held Thursday, March 10 through Sunday, March 13 at The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Parkway, Amelia Island. In addition to cars like Duesenberg, Allard and Kurtis, the event features auctions, book signings, galas and even a panel discussion with former wheelmen from the legendary race called the Cannonball Run. Event prices vary. 636-0027, 277-1100. ameliaconcours.org

billsultimatelimos.com

Jill Greenberg

ANGRY AMERICAN LEWIS BLACK

CHILD PROOF ROCKER KID ROCK

What can you say about a dude who has expressed his love for George W. Bush and been in donnybrooks at a Waffle House (without getting sued for libel)? Love him or loathe him, the last decade has seen the 21st century man-child known as Kid Rock rapping, rocking and rumbling his way into our collective Walmartshoppin’ hearts! Kid brings his “Born Free” tour to town, along with Jamey Johnson on Wednesday, March 9 at 7 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $24-$88.50. 630-3900.

SAT., MARCH 12

sure pick

Georgia peaches Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush formed Sugarland after cutting their (sweet) teeth in the ’90s Atlanta folk-rock scene. Since then, this dynamic duo’s saccharine-tinged country pop has earned them No. 1 hit singles, awards ranging from Grammys to CMAs, and appearances on television shows ranging from “The Tonight Show” to “Yo Gabba Gabba!” They perform on Saturday, March 12 at 7:30 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $24-$51.50.

630-3900.

Victah Sailer

ROAD RACE GATE RIVER RUN

Since 1978, the Gate River Run has racked up some impressive numbers. Attracting more than 15,000 competitive and recreational runners, this annual road race has become the largest 15K (that’s 9.3 miles to you, tenderfoot) race in the country, with $80,000 awarded in prize money. The 34th Annual Gate River Run kicks off at 8:30 a.m. on Saturday, March 12 at EverBank Field, 1 EverBank Field Drive, Jacksonville. Bands perform at 10 spots along the course. The 5K Charity Run starts at 8:30, Brooks Rehab’s Challenge Mile starts at 10:30 a.m., the Junior River 1-mile Run and Diaper Dashes (for ages 1, 2 and 3) both start at 11 a.m. Registration starts at $30. 731-3676, 270-2221. gate-riverrun.com

ESPERANZA SPALDING

Jazz bassist, singer and all-around phenom Esperanza Spalding has packed a lot of living in her twentysomething years on the planet. A native of Portland, Ore., the Berklee grad has been praised by jazz gurus like Pat Metheny and Gary Burton, while her own style of indie jazz has led her to collaborate with heavy-hitters Joe Lovano, Stanley Clarke, Mike Stern and M. Ward. Of course, she can now add winning the 2011 Grammy Award for Best New Artist to that rockin’ résumé. She performs on Saturday, March 12 at 8 p.m. at the Ritz Theatre and Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Tickets are $45. 632-5555.

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 21

After day three, Nicolas Cage has had enough of the Charlie Sheen Career Reinvention Seminar & Meditation Retreat in “Drive Angry.”

Who’s Zoomin’ Who?

Nicolas Cage continues his daring race with high-octane mediocrity in the cinematic spinout “Drive Angry” Drive Angry **@@

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach

I

22 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

t’s nearly impossible to find something intelligent to say about Nicolas Cage’s new movie, “Drive Angry.” In terms of both brain cells and entertainment, it’s about on par with his last flick, “Season of the Witch,” in which he also battled the Forces of Darkness. The fact that “Season of the Witch” debuted and disappeared a little more than two months ago wouldn’t seem to bode well for the new film’s fate. That’s OK, though, since the best way to watch either movie (minus 3-D glasses for “Drive Angry”) is to settle back on the sofa with a six-pack and some beer nuts. If you nod off, you won’t miss much.

Instead of wielding a sword as he did in “Witch,” Cage has an endless supply of automatic weapons and one nifty highpowered piece called “The God-Killer.” Like almost everything else in the movie, the gun’s name doesn’t make much sense because it’s supposedly fashioned in Hell, to kill demons.

Whatever the case, Nic Cage has it, the devil’s minions are afraid of it, and he’s after them.

Here’s the set-up. Cage plays a fugitive from Hell named John Milton. The hero’s name is indicative of the film’s capacity for wit and irony, or lack thereof. Just how John got out of the Netherworld is never explained, but the subtitles imply it was with some kind of car. Now on foot, however, he needs some new treads, quickly provided by a plucky and accommodating waitress named Piper (Amber Heard).

Piper is a foul-mouthed, fearless chick with tough fists and bad taste in men. Nonetheless, she’s along for the ride with John after he pummels her latest brute of a beau senseless.

In their wake is The Accountant (William Fichtner), a black-suited employee of Lucifer himself. His name defines his role — he cooks the Devil’s books.

John Milton, for his part, is after Jonah King (Billy Burke), the leader of a Satanist cult, which passes itself off as a Christian sect. From Hell, you see, John has watched Jonah kill his daughter and abduct his infant granddaughter with the intention of sacrificing her on the night of the full moon. Besides being a nasty guy, Jonah has loads of mean-spirited followers armed with lots of

firepower. As a personal touch, he carries a cane made from the femur bone of John’s daughter.

Like I said, a thoroughly nasty guy.

So John is trying to rescue his granddaughter and kill Jonah and crew, and The Accountant is after John. Whoever gets caught in the crossfire — lots of folks, as it turns out — probably wish they could’ve ducked and covered. I mean the latter literally. There are just about as many bare boobs in “Drive Angry” as there are bullet wounds, hatchet hacks and various impalements.

Not since “Piranha 3-D” has a horror movie

There are just about as many bare boobs in “Drive Angry” as there are bullet wounds.

Not since “Piranha 3-D” has a horror movie exploited nudity with as much glee as it has featured the gore. exploited nudity with as much glee as it has featured the gore. On the other hand, there was some genuine wit in the fish movie; “Drive Angry” is mostly just dumb.

Nicolas Cage is about the same as always. He earns his paycheck, while poor Amber Heard chugs along in an utterly preposterous role. The two villains (Burke and Fichtner) are the best thing in the movie, particularly Fichtner as the numbers guy. As impossible as it may seem, Fichtner wrings some genuine humor from his role as the devil’s corporate henchman.

Written by genre specialist Todd Farmer (“Jason X,” “My Bloody Valentine”), the movie doesn’t even pretend to make sense. The general idea seems to be that, if the screenplay is as gross and crude as possible, the audience will be utterly numb to any reasoning of plot and character.

In support of such an approach, the nonsense is suitably directed by Patrick Lussier, whose “Dracula 2000” was followed by two sequels that went straight to video. “Drive Angry” will follow suit, so you can prepare yourself as I’ve mentioned — pass the beer nuts.

Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com

(Working) Class Dismissed

The nation’s recession and economic fallout are explored in the drama “The Company Men” The Company Men **G@

Rated R • AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues

E

very generation has its watershed event — World War II, Vietnam, Watergate — and the resulting loss of innocence and despair. “The Company Men” charts the main misfortune of our own age. The suits in “The Company Men” are dealing with the traumatic aftereffects from an economic cataclysm: the 2008 Wall Street meltdown. These high-level execs shuffle through corporate parking lots carrying cardboard boxes holding the sum of their justtruncated careers, shout affirmative mantras at career centers and try to grapple with the trauma of having their office chairs kicked out from under them.

The film opens with a view of American abundance: status cars in every driveway, McMansions, rec rooms filled with computer games and kitchen counters lousy with shiny, expensive Williams-Sonoma appliances.

Ensconced in that plush upper-middle class world is sales executive Bobby Walker (Ben Affleck), who’s the first to go. Bobby, a cocky 37-year-old who was gunning for CEO, is now stunned to see his trajectory dramatically taken down by corporate downsizing.

His smart, supportive wife Maggie (Rosemarie DeWitt) is pragmatic: Put the house on the market, quit the country club membership, sell the Porsche. Even his son knows the score: Return the Xbox, pronto.

But for Bobby, the illusion of success is what distances him from abject, future-ruining failure. Without the Porsche and the golf games, he fears a future employer will smell the fear pouring off him.

“The Company Men” feels almost like a documentary in its comprehensive treatment of downsizing on both a personal level and within American industry as a whole. Directorwriter John Wells, a TV vet (“ER,” “The West Wing”), covers the loss of self-esteem and shame downsizing can bring (Bobby can’t bring himself to tell his extended family he’s lost his job). But Wells also tackles a catalog of attendant gripes: excessive CEO salaries, jobs out of touch with the product they’re selling and a disposable aging workforce represented by “pushing 60” company man Phil Woodward

(Chris Cooper), whose prospects after losing his job are nil. The conscience of the film, the one who voices many of these greater issues, is found in Gene McClary (Tommy Lee Jones), who founded Boston shipbuilding and manufacturing behemoth GTX along with CEO James Salinger (Craig T. Nelson). Gene doesn’t like CEO James’ automatic reflex of depleting the ranks to correct the economic downturn. Looking around James’ lavish office, Gene sees one way to make a mint without firing staff: “Sell the f*cking Degas!” James still plans high-end vacations and pulls down an enormous salary, while his ax-woman Sally Wilcox (Maria Bello) razes the company’s ranks, with his blessing.

In a subplot that may strike some as overly obvious, Bobby regains his lost American values of hard work and integrity by taking a last-ditch job at his brother-in-law Jack’s (Kevin Costner) construction company. There, Bobby confronts a new code of ethics: The boss works late to get the job done on time (but sends his workers home to their families) and protects his staff ’s jobs at his own expense. For Bobby, it’s a radical departure from the every-man-for-himself white-collar paradigm. In some ways, the point’s well-taken.

Notions of honest work and allegiance to co-workers are not the norm in the American workplace. Still, Wells’ delivery is heavy-handed.

Much of “The Company Men” feels a little too pat: white collar equals bad, blue collar equals good. And director Wells is too anxious to wrap up with a conventional happy ending that reeks of the tidy moral bundles characterizing TV movies-of-the-week. The better strategy might have been to go deep into the travails of just one of these execs (Cooper’s character, for instance) rather than trying to offer a cross-section of economic crises from several generational viewpoints. Yes, the economic downturn has hit thirtysomethings differently than it has fiftysomethings, but one film can’t possibly tell all the stories without losing focus and depth.

“The Company Men” does tackle some relevant ideas that are good to see taken on in an American film, rather than a muckraking documentary. But its approach is often superficial.

A topic this relevant, effecting so many people, deserves a more thorough vetting.

Felicia Feaster themail@folioweekly.com

Take this job and shove it (back into my general direction, please dear God!): Tommy Lee Jones and Ben Affleck are just happy to get the work in “The Company Men.”

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 23

Jason Sudeikis shows what can happen when you get between Charlie Sheen and his Special Magic Vitamins in “Hall Pass.” yeah, that’s the ticket.

THE COMPANY MEN

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DRIVE ANGRY 3D **@@

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Reviewed in this issue.

THE EAGLE ***@

Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach MattSales Damon and Emily Rep rlBlunt star in this sci-fi thriller about the destiny of two lovers and unseen forces that seem to conspire against them.

Rated PG-13 • AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown This historical action flick stars Channing Tatum and Jamie Bell (Billy Elliot!) and tells the true story of a group of Roman soldiers who investigate the disappearance of a military legion in 200 A.D. Great Britain.

BARNEY’S VERSION

GNOMEO & JULIET

**G@

***@

Rated R • Pot Belly’s, Regal Beach Winning adaptation of Mordecai Richler’s novel about the irascible womanizer Barney Panofsky (Paul Giamatti) as he faces Alzheimer’s. Co-starring Dustin Hoffman and Rosamund Pike.

BEASTLY **@@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Alex Pettyfer, Mary-Kate Olsen and Neil Patrick Harris star in this retelling of “Beauty and the Beast” set in modernday Brooklyn.

BIG MOMMAS: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON **@@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This comedy marks the long-awaited return of Martin Lawrence to the silver screen as an FBI agent who dresses up like an overweight, meddling granny. Damn!

Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This cute animated retelling of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” set in a land of garden gnomes, is an inventive and lighthearted way to hip the kids to one of the Bard’s beloved works.

THE GRACE CARD **@@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues Michael Joiner stars in this faith-based story of an embittered police officer who attempts to find peace after a personal tragedy.

THE GREEN HORNET *@@@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Epic Theatre St. Augustine Somebody call an exterminator! So begins the inevitable “Seth Rogen Backlash” with this dull, unoriginal superhero flick that never takes off.

BLACK SWAN

HALL PASS

***@

**@@

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Director Darren Aronofsky’s disturbing psychological thriller stars Natalie Portman as a sheltered ballerina who steps into her darker side during a production of “Swan Lake.”

CASINO JACK **G@

RATED R • Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Beach Kevin Spacey plays DC lobbyist Jack Abramoff in this bio-pic crime drama that’s also oddly funny. Jon Lovitz co-stars …

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Owen Wilson stars in the latest comedy from the Farrelly Brothers about a man whose wife gives him a chance to have an extramarital affair. The only problem? She plans on honoring the same freebie and get some newbie strange.

I AM NUMBER FOUR *G@@

Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike

AREA THEATERS AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

ADVERTISING PRO

This is a copyright protected pro Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Silly teenybopper sci-fi flick about an alien on the lam who hides out in an American high school. Gnarly, dude!

JUST GO WITH IT **G@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This rom-com, starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston, is about a plastic surgeon who gets his office manager to pose as his disgruntled, soon-to-be-ex-wife in a bid to pick up sympathetic women. Co-starring Kevin Nealon, Rachel Dratch, Dave Matthews, Minka Kelly and Nicole Kidman.

Waitaminute … Dave Matthews?

JUSTIN BIEBER: NEVER SAY NEVER **@@

Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach OMG!! A surprisingly fun film about commerce and celebrity in the age of information overload.

THE KING’S SPEECH ****

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Pot Belly’s, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush deliver Oscar-worthy performances in this uplifting based-on-real-life tale.

THE MECHANIC G@@@

Rated R • AMC Regency Square This needless remake of the 1972 Charles Bronson action flick stars Jason Statham and Ben Foster as two hitmen is damaged beyond repair.

NO STRINGS ATTACHED ***@

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, Regal Avenues Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher star in director Ivan Reitman’s wickedly funny, raunchy rom-com about a couple learning that being “friends with benefits” is harder than it looks.

RANGO ***@

Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Johnny Depp, Ray Winstone, Abigail Breslin and Bill Nighy lend their voices to this inventive animated flick about an adventure-seeking chameleon.

THE RITE

College gal Sara (Minka Kelly) discovers she has the roommate from hell in the form of the psycho Rebecca (Leighton Meester).

TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT **@@

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 022211 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 PROMISE OF BENEFIT

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach This retro-’80s coming-of-age comedy stars Topher Grace, Anna Faris and Dan Fogler.

Sale

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach, San Marco Theatre Liam Neeson stars in this unoriginal yet watchable film about a man who wakes up from an accident only to realize that his former life no longer exists – and someone wants him dead! Yikes!

OTHER FILMS LAUREL & HARDY FILMS The 1927 L&H silent shorts “Why Girls Love Sailors” and “Sailors, Beware!” and the sound shorts “Men O’ War” (1929) and “Towed in a Hole” (1933) are screened at 7 p.m. on March 14 at Pablo Creek branch library, 13295 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is free. 246-0312.

5 POINTS THEATRE “The Adjustment Bureau” screens at 5,7 and 9 p.m. on March 8-12, at 3, 5 and 7 p.m. on March 13, at 7 and 9 p.m. on March 14, 16 and 17 and at 9 p.m. on March 15 at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. 359-0047.

POT BELLY’S CINEMA “The Social Network,” “The King’s Speech,” “Barney’s Version” and “The Fighter” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101.

WGHOF IMAX THEATER “The Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D” is screened along with “Hubble 3D,” “Space Station 3D” and “Under The Sea 3D,” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, Exit 323 off I-95, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

© 2011

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY MORNING GLORY This comic take on the sometimes-brutal world of live television stars Rachel McAdams, Diane Keaton and Harrison Ford.

HELENA FROM THE WEDDING Joseph Infantolino’s directorial debut about a group of thirtysomethings celebrating New Year’s Eve in upstate New York received rave reviews on the film fest circuit.

THE ROOMMATE

DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS This 1971 French vampire lesbian epic (“Le Rouge aux Levres”) scores a trifecta of B-movie goodness: erotic, strange and totally violent. Vive la trashy!

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Hollywood River City

Produced by ab Checked by

UNKNOWN

THE MAN FROM NOWHERE In the tradition of John Cassavetes’ “Gloria” (1980) and Luc Besson’s “The Professional” (1994) comes this South Korean import about a reluctant gunman who comes out of retirement to protect a young girl from the mob.

**G@

ASK FOR ACTION

**G@

***@

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square Though we wonder what possessed Anthony Hopkins to star in this supernatural thriller, he rises to the occasion in the story about exorcism in contemporary times.

SUPPORT

© 2011

Chapeau Cardio: Matt Damon and Natalie Carter run for their lives in the sci-fi thriller “The Adjustment Bureau.”

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 25

Tyson Wirtzfield

Antihistamine Queens: Power-poppers Dum Dum Girls keep their allergies in check.

Kicks Are for Chicks

L.A.’s Dum Dum Girls add some much-needed grit to the girl group scene DUM DUM GIRLS with READING RAINBOW, DIRTY BEACHES, THE COUGS Friday, March 11 at 8 p.m.

Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville Tickets are $10 398-7496

S

©

orry; I was brushing my teeth,” says singersongwriter-guitarist Dee Dee Penny (aka Kristin Gundred), when we catch up with her for an interview. Dee Dee is the brains and brawn behind Dum Dum Girls, an all-female indie2011 pop band from Los Angeles. Along with Jules (guitar/vocals), Bambi (bass) and Sandy (drums and vocals), Dee Dee’s been touring feverishly in support of their March 2010 debut full-length, “I Will Be.” The band’s name is a nod to both The Vaselines’ album, “Dum-Dum,” and Iggy Pop’s song “Dum Dum Boys.” This month, the quartet makes its way to Jacksonville just as the new EP, “He Gets Me High,” drops — a collection of three originals and a Smiths’ cover tune.

FolioWeekly

Folio Weekly: Last year, you toured with everyone from Vampire Weekend to Beach House to MGMT. What’s the most outrageous thing that happened on the road?

Dee Dee Penny: Um, I mean, there’s a few different ways to look at outrageous. I guess from, like, a very stale sort of definition, we all met Jude Law when we played in London — he was very handsome. That was kind of outrageous. Anything else — those are private outrageous moments.

F.W.: Your new EP has three originals and a cover of the Smiths’ tune, “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out.” Why did you choose to cover that particular song?

D.D.P.: It’s one of my favorite songs, but initially, I hadn’t intended on covering it. I had tried [another] song and I wasn’t happy with how it turned out and then I was struggling to figure out what to cover in lieu of what I thought I would be doing. And it just kind of came up as a not-totally-serious suggestion because, you know, covering The Smiths is akin to covering The Beatles — not really something you should do, because they were so perfect already. But I felt like trying it — that song in particular is very special to me — and I wanted the EP to end on something like that.

26 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

F.W.: Why follow up “I Will Be” with an EP? Why not another full-length?

D.D.P.: I think it was really just a reflection of how busy we were. We wouldn’t have had time to record a full record and still put something out, like, in a timely fashion. I didn’t want to take years between releases and I write pretty fast … those three songs just kind of fell out and it seemed doing some kind of release between releases would be fun and it would give us some material to tour with. Just keep things fresh, you know?

F.W.: You’ve been influenced by a lot of bands from the ’70s and ’80s like The Ramones, Patti Smith and Siouxsie & the Banshees. What current musicians do you listen to?

D.D.P.: Well, obviously, I’m a big fan of The Raveonettes — that’s why I had Sune [Rose Wagner] work on the EP. I always respected what they were doing. I’m also a big fan of my husband’s band [Brandon Welchez of Crocodiles] — I think I would be even if I

“Covering The Smiths is akin to covering The Beatles — not really something you should do because they were so perfect already.

But I felt like trying it.” weren’t married to him. We are taking a band called Minks from New York and another band called Dirty Beaches from Montreal on tour with us. I love both of those bands, as well.

F.W.: Is it true that your parents’ taste in music influenced you a lot?

D.D.P.: Yeah, that was basically all I heard until I was smart enough to consolidate my allowance and buy a Madonna tape or something. My mom was a teenager in the ’60s and from the Bay area, so she listened to a lot of San Francisco stuff like Jefferson Airplane, Janis Joplin, The [Rolling] Stones, The Beatles … she loved The Grateful Dead and The Doors. My dad was 13 years older than her, so he was into The Ventures, a lot of guitar stuff, a lot of vocal groups — he’s where I get the singing thing from. So I got a lot of doo-wop from him and my first exposure to girl groups were The Supremes.

Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

ADVERTISING PROOF

This is a copyright protected proof © For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 011111 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Aaron Lingenfelter

PROMISE OF BENEFIT

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ASK FOR ACTION

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Sales Re

Cold Shot: Former Mofro guitarist Daryl Hance injects some dank rock into the local music scene.

Primordial Stomp

The debut release by former Mofro guitarist Daryl Hance is an impressive collection of roots rock alchemy DARYL HANCE Friday, March 11 at 10 p.m.

Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach Tickets are $8 247-6636

I

f there is a genre of music more maligned and mislabeled than punk, it’s swamp rock. In the able hands of a Tony Joe White, we get the superlative, guitar and grunt-driven menace of 1969’s “Poke Salad Annie.” Yet when molded in the cornpone clutches of a Jerry Reed, we get 1970’s syrupy “Amos Moses.” Though the genre is rooted in gnarly ’50s blues and R&B bogs of Louisiana and southeast Texas with artists like Bobby Charles and Slim Harpo, the real alpha point of the scene is best exemplified by Creedence Clearwater Revival’s swamp-a-delic opus “Born on the Bayou.” And though CCR was actually bred in the down-home delta of San Francisco’s Bay Area, “Bayou” (1969) is the archetypal marshland jam, containing elements utilized by everyone from contemporaries Dr. John and ZZ Top to ’80s L.A. cowpunks The Gun Club: dominant seven chords, a muted but swinging rhythm and an acknowledgment of a darker, voodoo-vibed realm.

Locally born rockers JJ Grey & Mofro have to contend with the moniker whether they like it or not, but the debut release from ex-Mofro guitarist Daryl Hance is a surprising departure. “Hallowed Ground” (darylhance. com) is a remarkably well-made album of agile, bulletproof rockers and contemplative ballads that contains neither Fender Strat masturbation nor any mention of bullfrogs a-matin’ in the mean moonlight. Speaking to Folio Weekly from his home “between Maxville and Macclenny,” the 42-year-old Hance says he’s on indefinite hiatus from playing with Grey & Mofro, acknowledging that some of that decision was suggested by the frontman.

“JJ just encouraged me to do this. I was trying to do both bands, but now I see that would have been next to impossible.”

Hance and Grey have been playing together for decades, first with Faith Nation (1990-’93) and then in the mid-’90s with Alma Zuma, which eventually morphed into JJ Grey & Mofro. Like Grey, Hance admits to influences ranging from old-school metal to the blues, which he first heard while in his early 20s. That discovery in turn hipped Hance to an equally powerful awakening. “I heard Curtis Mayfield, Stevie Wonder and Sly & the Family Stone and just thought [laughs], ‘holy shit!’”

ADVERTISING PROO

Mixed in Nashville, “Hallowed Ground” is deftly engineered by Matt Grondin at Jim DeVito’s Retrophonics Studios, the mix This is a copyright protected proof translates Anthony Cole’s drums into a John Bonham wallop while Shane Platten’s bass anchors the songs intoFor a near prog-rock questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 030811 measure. Keyboardist Adam Scone adds tasteful FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Hammond B3 filigrees throughout. On the harder cuts, Hance’s guitar PROMISE is all crackling fury, Produced by jw Checked by Sales OF BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION his solos sounding like they were peeled off as he sat on his amp, another half-joint burning © 2011 in the ashtray. But Hance shows restraint when unfurling his formidable expertise, realizing there’s more power in one vital note than in a flurry of acrobatic, arpeggiated guitar runs.

The 13 tracks run the gamut from rockers to tasteful balladry, Hance’s chilled-out vocal delivery finding company with JJ Cale or fellow Okie, the sorely underrated Jesse Ed Davis.

The acoustic cuts “In the Dark” and “A Breath Away” find a weird nexus between Jerry Jeff Walker and the narcotic cadence of David Gilmour from 1970s-era Pink Floyd. Superficial comparisons could be drawn to Hance’s disc and acts like The Black Keys or even Beck, but this debut from the Macclenny homeboy is more uncut psychedelic blues than indie rock pastiche. If at times “Hallowed Ground” can come across a shade monochromatic, who really cares, if it’s a groovy-ass color?

“There is a whole stigma attached to it for what people call ‘noodle bands’ — like when you’re basically the backdrop to somebody’s acid trip,” he says. Yet even the mighty Mofro couldn’t dodge radiation from tie-dyed trustafarians, or their apparent need for a spellchecker. “We showed up at one gig in Memphis and they had spelled the name on the marquee ‘Mo’ Phro’” Hance explains with a chuckle. “As in Phish.”

For his upcoming gig at Jax Beach’s Mojo © 2011 Kitchen, Hance’s band will consist of a trio, joined by bassist Platten and drummer Mike Romine.

Shows are already booked for the Southeast, and then the band trips west to Texas and the Plains States. Hance admits he’s still getting used to the adjustment of leading his own band. The segue from sideman to the spotlight has been awkward at times. “I initially tried to keep it incognito, but then the club owners would put ‘Mofro’ on the poster. So people would videotape me suckin’ up the joint — and now there’s evidence on YouTube!

But some of it’s not too bad. Most of it’s like, ‘This shit sucks!’ [Laughs] But maybe I just shouldn’t watch ’em.”

Folio

Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 27

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MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 29

The members of Terrible Things will help you find that perfect something at Screamo-Post-Prog Furniture Outlet Center.

TERRIBLE THINGS with STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO, A LOSS FOR WORDS and LARRY & HIS FLASK Friday, March 11 at 8 p.m.

Freebird Live, 200 N. First Street, Jax Beach Advance tickets are $15; $20 at the door 246-2473

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hile Fred Mascherino, Andy Jackson and Josh Eppard are by no means music biz newbies, their recently formed band Terrible Things still marks an interesting new venture for the guys. Guitarist Jackson is best known for being part of defunct indie-rock act Hot Rod Circuit, drummer Eppard served in the majestic neo-prog of Coheed and Cambria, while Mascherino — a guitarist who is the band’s primary architect — has served tours of duty in Taking Back Sunday, Breaking Pangaea and The Color Fred.

Terrible Things’ self-titled debut is a concept record of sorts, a saga loosely dealing with the aftermath of 40-some arsons that occurred in Mascherino’s hometown of Coatesville, Pa., in 2008 and 2009. The group’s forte is cleaned-up alt-rock that doesn’t strike new ground but still delivers an impressively fluid hook. Prepare to remember the chorus of their song “Terrible Things” for the rest of your days, should you hear it. With the recent acquisition of bassist Bryan Weaver, the act’s getting deep into touring, so we caught up with Eppard for a candid discussion about this latest project.

30 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

Folio Weekly: When the band started, Fred conceived it as more of a straightforward rock project. Are there any directions you wanted to go that have yet to be explored?

Josh Eppard: Oh yeah, big time. You know, if we’re going to get past the face-value bullshit that every interview I do is, [then] yeah, I wish it was a lot different actually, but it was all new to us then. It still is new, but it’s becoming more familiar. When I got a call from Fred, I was so excited. Fred was talking about doing a more rock thing. He brought up things like Led Zeppelin, Muse, the Foo Fighters. In hindsight,

“If I made this record, it would be a lot more awesome. I joined this band and got told by the producers what to play.

I’m just not that psyched on it, really.”

I wish it was a lot more like that, but it’s a process. You grow, you evolve, but especially with this band, I think it’s going to change quite a bit or, y’know, I won’t be in it.

F.W.: Realistically, do you see Terrible Things going in that Muse or Led Zeppelin direction with the next record?

J.E.: Not necessarily. Led Zeppelin’s the reason that I play rock and roll and I really am a big fan of Muse, but [we’ll probably use] just hints of that stuff.

F.W.: How do you feel about the inevitable

comparisons of Terrible Things to the members’ previous bands?

J.E.: I think we deserve some of ’em. Of course, people compare us to Taking Back Sunday. I can’t believe that anyone would ever compare us to Coheed, but I guess maybe in the live show. Again, [in] evolving, we’ll start to get away from that stuff, but I expected it in the beginning. It didn’t particularly bum me out, but then again, it didn’t make me happy, either.

F.W.: How did you feel about Fred’s idea for Terrible Things as a concept record from the get-go? What kind of influence did you and Andy have on the record?

J.E.: None, really. If I made this record, it would be a lot more awesome. I joined this band and got told by the producers what to play. I’m just not that psyched on it, really. I want to make other records. I think Fred’s a great songwriter, but Fred already had these songs [written]. That’s the difference with the other bands: I was used to writing a lot more than I did.

F.W.: Do you have any specific ideas in mind for that next record?

J.E.: It’s more of a vibe is what I’m looking for.

At rehearsal yesterday, Fred was playing some new riffs and they were smoking. They seemed more classic rock to me, but in a great way, so I’m really excited about that. We have to figure out how to get on the same page. I’d like to get outside of the box a bit more. At the core of Terrible Things, it’s a pop record. To me, pop’s not a bad word. I love pop. This band is finding its identity as we go and that’s a good thing.

Reyan Ali themail@folioweekly.com

FreebirdLive.com

CONCERTS THIS WEEK

HILLBILLY HELLCATS, THE ARISTOCRATS The roots rock kicks off at 8 p.m. on March 8 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8.

398-7496.

CHRIS CASTLE & THE WOMACK FAMILY This group performs “The Drenched Earth Tour� at 7 p.m. on March 9 at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville.

355-9791.

KID ROCK, JAMEY JOHNSON The rap and rock start at 7 p.m. on March 9 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $25-$89.50. 630-3900.

TIM REYNOLDS TR3, YANCY CLEGG Dave Matthews Band member Reynolds hits the stage at 8 p.m. on March 9 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach.

Advance tickets are $15. 246-2473.

HUGO, CONNOR HICKEY These indie auteurs emote in a rocking manner at 8 p.m. on March 9 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville.

Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496.

KEM The R&B crooner performs at 7:30 p.m. on March 10 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville.

Tickets range from $48.50-$58.50. 630-3900.

BAD ASSETS These rockers play at 8 p.m. on March 10 at Cliff’s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Road, Ste. 2, Jacksonville. 645-5162.

G-LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE The funksters play at 8 p.m. on March 10 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $25. 246-2473.

BRENDON JENNINGS, MATT WHITE, WILL KNOX These indie singer-songwriters perform at 8 p.m. on March 10 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $8. 398-7496.

THE KENNEDYS This Texas-based musical duo performs at 8:30 p.m. on March 10 at European Street CafĂŠ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are $10. 399-1740.

LUSTER These indie rockers perform at 10 p.m. on March 10 at Dos Gatos, 123 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. 354-0666.

DEE DEE LAUX Singer-songwriter Laux performs at 7 p.m. on March 11 at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791.

Former Mofro guitarist Hance performs at 10 p.m. on March 11 BLAST OF GRASS, LEE KELLY 200 N. 1st St., Jax Beach, FL • 904.246.BIRD (2473) at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $8.

The bluegrass groups perform a benefit show for the Putnam WEDNESDAY MARCH 9 247-6636.

County Environmental Council at 7 p.m. on March 11 at RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka.

Cathedral Arts Project performs at 10:30 a.m., Fusion Band Advance tickets are $10; $15 at the door. (386) 325-5454. plays at 11:45 a.m. and Katlyn Lowe & Sean Doyle are on DEREK WEBB, PAM AFFRONTI (guitarist of Dave Matthews Band) at 2:30 p.m. on March 12 at Riverside Arts Market, under These rockers for Jesus hit the stage at 7 p.m. on March 11 the Fuller Warren Bridge at Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville. at Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville.

554-6865.

THURSDAY MARCH 10 Advance tickets are $12; $15 at the door. 388-3179.

SEN DOG SISTER HAZEL The Cypress Hill rapper issues forth a blunt delivery at 6 p.m. on These mellow rockers hit it at 7 p.m. on March 11 at Ponte Vedra March 12 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville.

Concert Hall, 1050 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach. Advance tickets Tickets are $10. 223-9850. are $22.50; $27.50 at the door. 209-0367.

EMBRACE THE EMPIRE, I DRIVE A STATION WAGON, A THE RIDE The local rockers play at 8 p.m. on March 11 and 12 at Cliff’s Bar HOPE FOR TOMORROW, JUST LIKE GENTLEMEN, NAUSICAA, & Grill, 3033 Monument Road, Ste. 2, Jacksonville. 645-5162.

HERE WE STAND MIDDLE RHYTHM SESSION These acts make joyous rock noise at 6:30 p.m. on March 12 at FRIDAY MARCH 11 This jam band hits at 8 p.m. on March 11 at Dog Star Tavern, Murray Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville. Advance 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010. tickets are $8; $10 day of show. 388-3179.

DUNE, GOSPEL MUSIC, RICKOLUS AUNT MARTHA BAND Black Kids bassist and Folio Weekly writer Owen Holmes This indie folk trio performs at 7 p.m. on March 12 at Three presents his new band Gospel Music at 8 p.m. on March 12 at Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791.

Lomax Lodge, 822 Lomax St., Jacksonville. Admission is $5.

SUGARLAND 634-8813.

This country act performs at 7:30 p.m. on March 12 at Veterans JACKSONVILLE BLUES FESTIVAL with MEL WATERS, Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets SATURDAY MARCH 12 SIR CHARLES JONES range from $24-$51.50. 630-3900.

The blues kick off at 8 p.m. on March 12 at the Times-Union THE READY SET, THE DOWNTOWN FICTION, WE ARE THE IN Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., CROWD, YOU ME & EVERYONE WE KNOW, FIT FOR RIVALS Jacksonville. Tickets range from $39.50-$46.50. 633-6110.

These suspiciously emo-sounding bands play at 8 p.m. on STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO, A LOSS FOR WORDS, March 12 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Advance TERRIBLE THINGS, LARRY & HIS FLASK tickets are $15. 246-2473.

Emo is the word at 8 p.m. on March 11 at Freebird Live, 200 N. WALTER PARKS You Me & Everyone We Know / Fit For Rivals First St., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $15. 246-2473.

The troubadour performs at 8 p.m. on March 12 at European DUM DUM GIRLS, READING RAINBOW, DIRTY BEACHES, Street CafĂŠ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance tickets are FRIDAY MARCH 18 THE COUGS $10. 399-1740.

This night of garage pop and punk kicks off at 8 p.m. on March TRAVELING RIVERSIDE BAND 11 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance These blues rockers play at 8 p.m. on March 12 at Dog Star tickets are $10. 398-7496.

Tavern, 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010.

SIBERIA MY SWEET, AFTER THE BOMB, BABY! SEEDY SEEDS, HONEY BLUE, HOLLOW GLACIERS These indie acts perform at 9 p.m. on March 11 at Club TSI, Cincinnati electro poppers Seedy Seeds play at 8 p.m. on March 333 E. Bay St., Jacksonville.

12 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Jacksonville. Advance Produced by ab Checked PROMISE OF BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FORAve., ACTION SATURDAY by MARCHSales 19 Rep rm “WADAAP!� DVD Release Party with PATEN LOCKE, tickets are $8. 398-7496.

D.A.R.Y.L., MAS APPEAL THE BLUES-O-MATICS The party kicks off at 10 p.m. on March 11 at Lomax Lodge, The blues begins promptly at 8:30 p.m. on March 12 at (the Sublime Tribute) 822 Lomax St., Jacksonville. Admission is $5. 634-8813.

Downtown Blues Bar & Grille, 714 St. Johns Ave., Palatka. (386) Scotty Don’t/Sidereal DARYL HANCE 325-5454.

TIM REYNOLDS TR3 Yancy Clegg

G-LOVE & Special Sauce Andrew Greene

STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO A Loss for Words Larry & his Flask

The Glamour Kills tour with

THE READY SET

The Downtown Fiction We Are the In Crowd

ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected proof Š

GLASS CAMELS

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 030111 24TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 Mike Bernos Band

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MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 31

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

ROCCO BLUE BAND BONERAMA March 18, Mojo Kitchen MIRANDA LAMBERT, JUSTIN MOORE & JOSH KELLY April This blues band performs at 10 p.m. on March 12 at Mojo HONEY BLUE March 18, Dog Star Tavern 15, St. Augustine Amphitheatre SOJA, THE DIRTY HEADS, NEW POLITICS April 20, Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Advance tickets are $12; BADFISH, SCOTTY DON’T March 19, Freebird Live The Florida Theatre $15 at the door. 247-6636.

PAT TRAVERS March 19, Brewster’s Pit RISE AGAINST, BAD RELIGION, FOUR YEAR STRONG April 22, GOLIATH FLORES BLUE SONICS March 19, Dog Star Tavern St. Augustine Amphitheatre The multi-instrumentalist performs at 1 p.m. on March 13 at HONEY ISLAND SWAMP BAND March 19, Mojo Kitchen P. DIDDY & DIDDY DIRTY MONEY April 28, Plush Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791.

ANTARCTIC, THE BRONZED CHORUS, MANRAY March 22, ONE NIGHT OF QUEEN May 3, The Florida Theatre SADPLANT, THICK AS BLOOD, NEW COLLISIONS, The Lomax Lodge JEFF BECK, IMELDA MAY BAND May 4, The Florida Theatre KING CONQUER JAMES TAYLOR, BEN TAYLOR March 22, T-U Center KENNY CHESNEY May 12, Veterans Memorial Arena These rockers hit it at 6 p.m. on March 13 at Brewster’s Pit, GALEN KIPAR PROJECT March 23, Mojo Kitchen JEFFERSON STARSHIP May 13, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850.

MIKE WATT & THE MISSINGMEN March 24, Jack Rabbits KRIS KRISTOFFERSON, JOHN PRINE May 14, Florida Theatre JOSH MILLER BLUES REVUE CARRIE NATION & THE SPEAKEASY March 24, THE DEFTONES, DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN May 20, Plush This blues act hits it at 8 p.m. on March 13 at Dog Star Tavern, Dog Star Tavern TAPROOT May 27, Brewster’s Pit 10 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach. 277-8010.

PETER MURPHY March 24, Freebird Live MUSHROOMHEAD, HED PE May 27, Plush REBELUTION, JUNIOR REID, GIANT PANDA GUERILLA DUB RICHARD STOLTZMAN, DAVID STEINMEYER March 25, UNF KEITH URBAN June 17, Veterans Memorial Arena SQUAD, THE MOVEMENT Robinson Theater These dub and reggae acts perform at 8 p.m. on March 13 at HAYSHAKER March 25, Dog Star Tavern Plush, 845 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. Advance tickets ERIC CULBERSON March 25, Mojo Kitchen are $17.50. 743-1845.

BOOM CHICK March 25, Underbelly YES These prog rock legends perform at 8 p.m. on March 14 INDORPHINE March 26, Brewster’s Pit at The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. Tickets EARTH BOMBS MARS March 26, Dog Star Tavern AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH range from $41-$61. 355-2787.

MARK HUMMEL’S BLUES HARMONICA BLOW OUT March 26, BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech St., 277-3662 John PATO BANTON & THE NOW GENERATION BAND Mojo Kitchen Springer every Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph The reggae legend appears at 8 p.m. on March 14 at The CITIZEN COPE March 27, The Florida Theatre every Sun. Palace Saloon, 117 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. 491-3332.

RODNEY ATKINS March 31, UNF Arena DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Middle GUNGOR, JONATHAN SCOTT BAND, EC BAND PUNCH BROTHERS, CHRIS THILE April 1, The Florida Theatre Rhythm at 8 p.m. on March 11. Traveling Riverside Band on These faith-based rockers play at 7 p.m. on March 15 at Murray Springing The Blues: ANDERS OSBORNE, THE LEE BOYS, March 12. Josh Miller Blues Revue on March 12 Hill Theatre, 932 Edgewood Ave. S., Jacksonville. Advance MICHAEL BURKS, DANA FUCHS April 1-3, Seawalk Plaza GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., tickets are $12; $15 day of show.. 388-3179.

THE VAMPIRATES, KONAMI CODE, POOR RICHARDS April 2, 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. KOFFIN KATS, BENEDICT ARNOLD, WASTEDIST The Lomax Lodge GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll These punks perform promptly at 8 p.m. on March 15 at Jack JANIS IAN April 2, UNF’s Robinson Theater from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Advance tickets EOTO, ZEBLER April 5, Freebird Live INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the Alley are $8. 398-7496.

JOHN CLAYTON, JEFF CLAYTON, JEFF HAMILTON April 6, Cats at 8 p.m. every Sat. Frankie’s Jazz Jam at 7:30 p.m. every WAYNE JOHNSON BLUES BAND UNF Robinson Theater Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. This act appears at 8 p.m. on March 15 at European Voice of the Wetlands Allstars: TAB BENOIT, Forblues questions, please call your advertising representative atCYRIL 260-9770.

RUN DATE: 030811 O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll Street CafÊ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Advance NEVILLE, BIG CHIEF MONK BOUDREAUX April 7, Mojo Kitchen FAXareYOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 from 7:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. The Turner London Band at tickets $10. 399-1740.

EASY ALLSTARS, THE GREEN April 7, Freebird Live 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. GENE LOVES JEZEBEL April 8, Brewster’s Pit Produced THE

by PALACE ab Checked by Sales RepSt.,rl SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre THEFOR ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND, PROMISE OF BENEFIT SUPPORTWanee Festival with ASK ACTION 491-3332 Pato Banton & The Now Generation Band and ROBERT PLANT & BAND OF JOY, WEEN April 14-16, Spirit of BRICK MOWER March 16, Underbelly Chillakaya on March 14. Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Anonymous the Suwannee Music Park SPADE McQUADE March 16, Dog Star Tavern in Sheffield’s every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS, BREATHE CAROLINA April 14, DAYS OF THE NEW, MIKE STAR March 17, Brewster’s Pit Alvarez every Fri. Buck Smith every Sun., Pili Pili every Mon. Freebird Live KARL W. DAVIS March 17, Dog Star Tavern PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, 277-2132 DROWNING POOL, TRUST COMPANY April 14, Brewster’s Pit ABK, AMB, KUNG FU VAMPIRE March 18, Brewster’s Pit Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. YANNI April 14, T-U Center

• CLUBS •

ADVERTISING PROOF This is a copyright protected proof Š

UPCOMING CONCERTS

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32 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

SEABREEZE SPORTS BAR, 2707 Sadler Rd., 277-2300 Karaoke with Daddy’O every Wed. DJ Roc at 9 p.m. every Fri., 10 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. SLIDER’S SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun. THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Reggie Lee on March 8. Early McCall on March 10. Andy Haney on March 11 & 14. Richard Stratton on March 12. Gary Keniston on March 13. Kent Kirby on March 15. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Karaoke every Thur.

MEEHAN’S TAVERN, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5, 551-7076 Karaoke every Wed. Live music every Fri. MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. PLUSH, RAIN, LEOPARD LOUNGE, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845 Rebelution, Junior Reid and Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad on March 13. DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin every Fri.; house & techno in Z-Bar every Fri. TONINO’S TRATTORIA & MARTINI BAR, 7001 Merrill Rd., Ste. 45, 743-3848 Harry & Sally from 6:30-9 p.m. every Wed. Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every Fri. Signature String Quartet every Sat.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. DJ Dave Berg spins every Sat. DJ Alex Pagan spins every Sun. ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 Karaoke with Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, R&B, funk, soul & old-school every Thur. Live music every weekend. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every 1st & 4th Sat. Patrick Evan & Co-Alition every Industry Sun. TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat

BAYMEADOWS

THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., 642-7600 DJ Albert Adkins spins house every Wed. DJs spin progressive & electro house every Thur. DJ Michael Stumbaugh spins electro house & progressive breaks every Sat. MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Road, 737-5299 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri. TERA NOVA, 8206 Philips Hwy., 733-8085 DJ Jose de la Soul spins salsa & freestyle every Latin Thur. DJs spin hip hop every Fri. DJs Leland & Marc-E-Marc spin top 40 & house every Sat. DJ Leland McWilliams spins for South Beach Friday every 2nd Fri. Reggae Fanatic is held every 3rd Fri. TONY D’S NEW YORK PIZZA & RESTAURANT, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 322-7051 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri.

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted) THE ATLANTIC, 333 N. First St., 249-3338 The Infader spins every Wed. DJ Wes Reed spins every Thur. DJ Jade spins old wave & ’80s retro, SilverStar spins hip hop every Fri. DJ Wes Reed spins ’80s, old school, remixes & mashups, Capone spins top 40 & dance faves every Sat. BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun. BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Incognito at 5:50 p.m. on March 10. Grandpa’s Cough Medicine at 6 p.m. on March 11. John Waters at 6 p.m. on March 12. Kurt Lanham at noon, Jimmy P at 4:30 p.m. on March 13. Mr. Sunshine at 5:50 p.m. on March 17 THE BRASSERIE, 1312 Beach Blvd., 249-5800 Live music every Wed. & Thur.

BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ Anonymous every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Live music every Wed. DJ IBay every Fri. & Sat. Charlie Walker every Sun. CARIBBEE KEY, 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach, 270-8940 Mark O’Quinn on March 9. Kurt Lanham on March 10. Alex Seier Band on March 11 & 12 CASA MARINA, 691 First St. N., 270-0025 Cloud 9 on March 9. The Johnston Duo at 6:30 p.m. every Tue. and Wed. COPPER TOP, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-4776 Karaoke with Billy McMahan on March 8. MaryAnn Hawkins on March 9. Chuck

Nash on March 10. Mike Shackelford and Steve Shanholtzer at 7 p.m. on March 11. Dan Coady on March 12. Craig Oden on March 13 CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 Just Jazz Quartet at 7 p.m. on March 8. Don’t Call Me Shirley at 8:30 p.m. on March 11. Jenn’s Tribute to Jazz at 7 p.m. on March 15 DICK’S WINGS & GRILL, 311 Third St. N., 853-5004 Live music every Fri. & Sat. ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur.

EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 249-3001 Acoustic open mic with John Longbottom from 6-9 p.m. every Tue. FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB, 333 First St. N., 242-9499 Live music every Tue.-Sun. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Tim Reynolds TR3 and Yancy Clegg on March 9. G-Love & Special Sauce on March 10. Streetlight Manifesto, Terrible Things, A Loss For Words and Larry & His Flask on March 11. The Ready Set, Downtown Fiction, We Are The In Crowd, You Me & Everyone We Know and Fit For Rivals on March 12. Glass Camels 24th Anniversary Show with Mike Bernos Band on March 18 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Live music at 9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Witz End on March 11 & 12. Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate Holley Band every Wed. Ryan Campbell every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Video DJ and Karaoke every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 270-0801 Kurt Lanham at 2 p.m. every Sun. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 Bread & Butter on March 9. Dioscios on March 10. Lucky Costello on March 11. kLoB on March 16 MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 UNF Jazz at 6 p.m. every Wed. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnson at 6 p.m. every Thur.

MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE, 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 270-1030 DJ Dennis Hubbell spins & hosts Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. & Fri. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Daryl Hance

on March 11. Rocco Blu on March 12 MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Peter Dearing at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke every Wed., Sat. & Sun. NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Live music on March 11 & 12 PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL, 333 N. First St., 208-5097 Live music at 9 p.m. every Thur.

PHILLY’S FINEST, 1527 N. Third St., 241-7188 Shine down: Chicago-based indie rockers Luster perform on March 10 at 10 p.m. at Dos Ian & Steve (Hello Danger) Gatos, 123 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville. 354-0666. every Fri. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic DOWNTOWN Beach, 241-7877 Bay Street on March 8. Acoustic Jukebox on CAFE 331, 331 W. Forsyth St., 354-1999 Acoustic open mic March 9. Exit on March 10. Freudian Slip on March 11 & 12.

9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Tue. Live music 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Wed. Billy Bowers on March 13 & Fri. Factory Jax’s goth-industrial 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Sat. RITZ LOUNGE, 139 Third Ave. N., 246-2255 DJ Jenn Azana Underground 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Mon. every Wed.-Sat. DJ Ibay every Sun. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz STICKY FINGERS, 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241spins Motown, old school, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Live 7427 Live music 3-7 p.m. every Sun. music every Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. A DJ spins Billy & Trevor on March 9. Skip Towne on March 10. Mr. Natural classic R&B, hip hop & dance every Saturdaze. Live reggae on March 11 & 12. Bread & Butter on March 13. Chad Mo on & DJs spin island music every Sun. Joel Crutchfield for open March 14. Live music every Wed.-Sun. mic every Mon. Live music every Tues.

THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Ian on March 11.

DE REAL TING CAFE, 128 W. Adams St., 633-9738 DJs Mix Paxton & Mike on March 12. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Master Prince, Pete, Stylish, Big Bodie play reggae, calypso,

ADVERTISING PROOF

This is a copyright protected proof Š TUE 3/8 Team Trivia WED 3/9 Billy & Trevor THURS 3/10 Skip For questions, please call your advertising representative at Town 260-9770. RUN DATE: 030811 FRI 3/11 & SAT 3/12 Mr. Natural FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 SUN 3/13 Bread & Butter MON 3/14 Chad Mo’ PROMISE OF BENEFIT RL SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Produced by _ab_ Checked by ____ Sales Rep ____

Fat Tuesday Party Bay Street Wednesday Acoustic Jukebox Thursday Exit Friday & Saturday Freudian Slip Sunday Billy Bowers

CARIBBEE

Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD #FBDI t MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 33

R&B, hip hop and top 40 every Fri. & Sat. INTRACOASTAL WEST SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. Sen Dog on March 11 & 12. Sadplant, Thick As Blood, New DJ NickFresh spins every Tue. Indie Lounge. DJ SuZi-Rok spins THE TREE STEAKHOUSE, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006 Collisions and King Conquer on March 13 every Thur. DJ Trim spins top 40, dance & rock every Fri. DJ The Boril Ivanov Biva Jazz Band from 7-9 p.m. every Thur. David BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Shanghai spins top 40, dance & rock every Sat. Gum at the piano bar from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Throwback Tue. ’70s, ’80s & top 40. Open mic with CBH every THE JACKSONVILLE LANDING, 2 Independent Dr., ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal & live music every Thur., Fri. & 353-1188 Gator Country free Spring Concert Series with CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke Sat. A DJ spins every Mon. Chuck Wicks, Sunny Sweeney & Thompson Square at 8 p.m. at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat. BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 on March 11. George Aspinall Band at noon, Spanky the CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. Brucci’s Live open mic Band at 7 p.m. on March 12. The Company at 7 p.m. on Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. with Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Mon. March 17 THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every CLIFF’S BAR & GRILLE, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 Wed.-Sat. Bad Assets on March 10. The Ride on March 11 & 12. Karaoke DJs 151 The Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Ivey every Tue. DJ Kevin for ladies nite every Wed. Karaoke with DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. Brothers on March 10. Out of Hand on March 11 & 12. Buck Jack at 9 p.m. every Sun. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 Smith Project every Mon. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic DJ Massive spins top 40 & dance every Velvet Fri. DJ Shotgun every Wed. Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Dune Dog on March 11. Flashback spins top 40 & dance every BayStreet Sat. SENOR WINGS, 700 Blanding Blvd., 375-0746 DJ Andy spins on March 12. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Mon. Live music outside MAVERICKS ROCK N’HONKY TONK, The Jacksonville for Karaoke every Wed. DJ Tammy spins for Karaoke every Fri. for Bike Night every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Landing, 356-1110 Live music every Sat. DJ spins for every Mon. S.I. nite YOUR PLACE BAR & GRILL, 13245 Atlantic Blvd., 221-9994 Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. Chuck Nash every Tue. Simply Righteous every Wed. NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 PALATKA Karaoke every Fri. DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., JULINGTON, THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 NW ST. JOHNS COUNTY (386) 325-5454 Blast of Grass and Lee Kelly on March 11. The DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Blues-O-Matics at 8:30 p.m. on March 12. Live music at 6 p.m. spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Fri. Blues at 8:30 p.m. every POPPY LOVE SMOKE, 112 E. Adams St., 354-1988 SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Sat. Blues jams at 2 p.m. every Sun. Lil John Lumpkin, Stefano Di Bella & Lawrence Buckner every Live music every Fri. & Sat. Wed. & Fri. Open mic every 2nd & 4th Sun. For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 030811 PONTE VEDRA ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 AQUA GRILL, 950 Sawgrass Village Dr., 285-3017 Brian MANDARIN Eric Carter and DJ Al Pete every Fri. FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Green Duo at 3 p.m. every Sun. on the deck FLEMING ISLAND Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m.

KARMA, 822 A1A N., 834-3942 Mr. & Mrs. Smith on March Produced by ab Checked by Sales Rep rm PROMISE OF BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry and John O’Connor, from 11. Don Voss on March 12 John Earle on March 9 & 16. DJ Franco on March 11. Nate 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Sat. NINETEEN AT SAWGRASS, 110 Championship Way, Holley on March 12 & 19. Charlie Walker on March 16, 23 & 30.

BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE, 3057 Julington Creek Rd., 273-3235 Time2Swing at 6 p.m. every Jazz Thur. Strings of Live music every Fri. & Sat. 260-2722 Live music on the deck every Sun. afternoon Fire from 6-9 p.m. every Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. 100, 280-7766 Live music every Thur.-Sun. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged THE NEW ORLEANS CAFE, 12760 San Jose Blvd., 880-5155 URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 High Tides of Jazz at every Wed. Jazz on the Deck 7-10 p.m. with Sleepy’s Connection every Tue. 7:30 p.m. on March 10. Paxton & Mike on March 11. Barrett ROCKIN RODZ, 2574 C.R. 220, 276-2000 Live music every Open mic with Biker Bob at 7:30 p.m. every Thur. Les B. Fine at Jockers & Band on March 12. Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Thur.-Sat. 1 p.m. every Reggae Sun. Creekside Songwriters Showcase at 7 Deron Baker every Wed. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Live music p.m. on the last Wed. each month RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE on March 10. Al Naturale on March 11 & 12. Live music on the RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 BIRDIE’S CAFE, 1044 Park St., 329-3374 Rotating bands and Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. deck at 5 p.m. every Sun.

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34 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

© 2011

FolioWeekly

Wet Willies: Chris Castle & The Womack Family Band present a three-act musical production, “The Drenched Earth Tour,” on March 9 at 7 p.m. at Three Layers Cafe, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. The band’s appeared with artists Jimmy Webb, Junior Brown and The Byrds’ Chris Hillman. 355-9791.

DJs every Fri. DJ Tom Pennington every Sat. FATKATS NIGHT CLUB, 1187 S. Edgewood Ave., 994-5201 Waylay plays every Thur. Live music & DJ Lavo spinning hip hop, rock, reggae, punk; Caden spins house, techno, breaks, drum & bass at 9 p.m. every Flashback Fri. HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Dave Massey every Tue. Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. THE LOFT, 925 King St., 476-7283 DJs Wes Reed & Josh K every Thur.

LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 Paten Locke DVD release party on March 11. DJ Dots every Tue. Reggae with Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. METRO, 2929 Plum St., 388-8719 DJ Chadpole every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke with KJ Rob every Sun., Mon. & Tue. MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ, 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551 Bluegrass Nite every Fri. THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Derek Webb and Pam Affronti at 7 p.m. on March 11. Embrace The Empire, I Drive A Station Wagon, A Hope For Tomorrow, Just Like Gentlemen, Nausicaa and Here We Stand on March 12.

Gungor, Jonathan Scott Band and Ec Band on March 15 WALKERS, 2692 Post St., 894-7465 Jax Arts Collaborative every Tue. Patrick & Burt every Wed. DJ Jeremiah every Thur.

Acoustic every Thur.-Sat. Dr. Bill & His Solo Practice of Music at 5 p.m. every Fri.

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 The Committee on March 10, 11 & 12 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Gary Wingard every Thur.

ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Open mic with Smokin Joe from 7-10 p.m. on March 8. Gary Lee Wingard at 6:30 p.m. on March 9. Pickled Beats at 8:30 p.m. on March 11.

Billy Buchanan at 8:30 p.m. on March 12. Karaoke on March 13 BENITO’S ITALIAN CAFE & PIZZERIA, 155 Hampton Point Dr., 230-8292 Live music every Fri. & Sat. THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke at 9 p.m. on March 10, 11 & 12. Jukebox nite on March 13.

Open mic night with Christi Harris at 8:30 p.m. on March 14 CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-9311 Murs, Tabi Bonney, Whole Wheat Bread and Ab-Soul & DJ Foundation at 8 p.m. on March 19 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Mix at 7 p.m. on March 11. Jason & Darin at 2 p.m., The Ray Love Band at 7 p.m. on March 12. Vinny Jacobs at 2 p.m. on March 13 CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Natures Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. CONCH HOUSE LOUNGE, 57 Comares Ave., 829-8646 Jah Creations from 3-7 p.m. on March 13. Scholars Word on March 20. Brad Newman every Thur. Live music at 3 p.m. every Sat. CREEKSIDE DINERY, 160 Nix Boatyard Rd., 829-6113 Live music on deck Wed.-Sun. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. THE FLORIDIAN, 39 Cordova St., 829-0655 Live music every Fri. & Sat. THE GREEN DOLPHIN STREET, 51 Charlotte St., 810-1923

Todd & Molly at 8 p.m. every Thur. Travis Elling at 8 p.m. every Fri. Mike Sweet and Karl with a “K” every Sat. Open Forum with Mike Sweet every Sun. HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Stu Weaver every Mon. HURRICANE PATTY’S, 69 Lewis Blvd., 827-1822 Those Guys every Tue. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Wed. Billy Buchanan every Thur. Dewey Via every Sun. JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. JOHNNY’S, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., 829-8333 Montage features electro, dance & indie every Mon. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. LOCAL HEROES CAFE, 11 Spanish St., 825-0060 Glam punk rock dance party Radio Hot Elf with DJ Dylan Nirvana from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. every Fri. MARDI GRAS, 123 San Marco Ave., 540-2824 Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Improvisation Station every Sat. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Amy Hendrickson every Sun. & Wed. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Uncle Meat & the Bumblebee at 9 p.m. on March 11 & 12. Colton McKenna at 1 p.m. on March 13. Sam Pacetti at 9 p.m. on March 14. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones at 9 p.m. every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. Live music daily THE OASIS, 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace, 471-3424 Those Guys every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chris C4Mann every Mon. O.C. WHITES, 118 Avenida Menendez, 824-0808 Mike Howard every Mon. & Tue. Rob Peck every Wed. Scott Sweat every Sun. THE REEF, 4100 Coastal Hwy., Vilano Beach, 824-8008 Richard Kuncicky from 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. every Sun. RHETT’S PIANO BAR & BRASSERIE, 66 Hypolita St., 825-0502 Live jazz at 7 p.m. every night SANGRIAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Sammy every Tue. Acoustic Soul Searchers every Wed. Jim Asalta every Thur. Jazz trios every Fri. The Housecats every Sat. Sunny & the Flashbacks rotate with Soulo every Sun. SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Battle of the Bands at 8 p.m. every Thur. DJ Echo hosts Karaoke every Mon. Amy Hendrickson and Battle of the Bands every Thur.

THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Live music nightly. Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. TINI MARTINI BAR, 24 Avenida Menendez, 829-0928 Ray Callendar on March 11. Bob Fraioli and Al Waters on March 12.

Bob Fraioli every Thur.

TWO HUNDRED LOUNGE, 200 Anastasia Blvd., 342-0378 Live music every Thur. & Fri. DJs spin every Sat. & Sun. ZHANRAS, 108 Anastasia Blvd., 823-3367 Chubby McG on March 9. Wild Wess on March 10. Groovy Dog on March 11. Deron Baker & Soulo every Tue. DJ Cep spins ’80s & disco every Sun. Vinny Jacobs open mic every Mon.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN

AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 201, 928-0515 W. Harvey Williams every Tue. DJ Royal at 8 p.m. every Wed. & Thur. Live music every Wed. & Thur. Latin

music & DJ Benz every Fri. Live music & DJ T-Rav every Sat. THE BRASS MONKEY, 9734 Deerlake Ct., 996-8277 Alex Seier & Ron Rodriguez rotate every acoustic Tue. Live music every Wed. DJ Fuller spins every Thur. A DJ spins every Jazz Fri. Miley on Meth every SIN Mon. THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Live music every Fri. & Sat. John Earle every Mon. DJ Mikeology spins lounge from 5-9 p.m. every Thur.

ISLAND GIRL Wine & Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 Jazz every Wed. Live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Charlie Walker on March 10, 17, 24 & 31. Witz End on March 11. John Earle on March 12 & 13. Open mic nite every Tue. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 Latin Wave at 7:30 p.m. on March 8. All Night Groove at 7:30 p.m. on March 10.

Ace Factor on March 11 & 12 URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 Joe Nichols at 7 p.m. on March 16. Down Theory every Mon. Live music every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Peter Dearing Band every Wed. DJ Chad spins dance every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 Paten Locke spins classic boombox, hip hop & tru school every Thur. Reggae every Sun. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. DJ J-Money spins acid jazz, soul, R&B & house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Underground Eden; dance & top 40 every Sat. DJ Ian spins every Reggae Sun. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 The Kennedys at 8 p.m. on March 10. Wayne Johnston Blues Band at 8 p.m. on March 15. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz Night every Thur. DJ Stylez every 2nd Thur. Strings of Fire Band at 7:30 p.m., DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Hillbilly Hellcats and The Aristocrats on March 8. Hugo and Connor Hickey on March 9. Brendon Jennings, Matt White and Will Knox on March 10. Dum Dum Girls, Reading Rainbow and Dirty Beaches on March 11. Seedy Seeds, Honey Blue and Hollow Glaciers on March 12. Koffin Kats, Benedict Arnold and The Wastedist on March 15 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Brazilian bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur.

RIVER CITY BREWING CO., 835 Museum Cir., 398-2299 Open mic with TJ Ward every Tue. DJ G-Man at 8 p.m. every Sat. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Class Act Band from 8:30 p.m.-1 a.m. on March 19. Soul on the Square & Band of Destiny at 8 p.m. every Mon. John Earle Band every Tue. DJs Wes Reed & Matt Caulder spin indie dance & electro every Wed. Split Tone & DJ Comic every Thur. Live music every Fri. DJ Dr. Doom spins at 10 p.m. every Mon.

SOUTHSIDE

CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 398-1717 Walter Parks at 8 p.m. on March 12. Mardi Gras with JB Scott’s Swingin’ Allstars at 8 p.m. every 1st Mon.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 Open mic jam every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. Live music every weekend THE DAMES POINT MARINA, 4518 Irving Rd., 751-3043 Black Creek Rizin’ from 3-7 p.m. on March 12 FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Big Engine every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL, 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Oceanway, 714-0995 Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Wed. & Thur.

DJ Slim Wicked at 9 p.m. every Fri. Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. The Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. A DJ spins every Sat. DJ Scar spins at 9 p.m. every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Chris Castle & the Womack Family at 7 p.m. on March 9. Dee Dee Laux at 7 p.m. on March 11. Aunt Martha Band at 7 p.m. on March 12. Goliath Flores at 1 p.m. on March 13. Karaoke every Tue. Open mic with Al Poindexter at 7 p.m. every Thur.

3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Road, Northside, 647-8625 Open mic at 8 p.m. every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat. To be included in the live music listing, send all the vitals — time, date, location with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 35

Darby O’Gill Overdrive! Members of Rathkeltair, one of the acts scheduled to appear at the inaugural St. Augustine Celtic Fest.

We Will Shamrock You

The inaugural Celtic Fest intends to celebrate the “green life” of the Oldest City ST. AUGUSTINE CELTIC MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL Friday, March 11-Thursday, March 17 Various venues in St. Augustine Ticket prices start at $30; weeklong passes start at $95; St. Patrick’s Day tickets start at $15 For a complete schedule and to purchase tickets, visit romanzafl.org

R

36 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

ed hair, Boston Celtics, Guinness, U2, Colin Farrell, the Blarney Stone, James Joyce, drunkenness, anyone with a last name that starts with “Mc” — these are a few of the things that Irish-Americans have come to associate with the Emerald Isle. Not surprisingly, the “wee” town of St. Augustine doesn’t fit into that category.

Well, not yet. Albert Syeles is the chairman, president and CEO of Romanza St. Augustine Inc., a local company that produces cultural events. In 2008, he formed Romanza as a way to prepare entertainment for the nation’s Oldest City’s upcoming 450th birthday celebration. Right now, he’s in the thick of putting together the inaugural St. Augustine Celtic Music & Arts Festival — a practice run for bringing music to the forthcoming 450th.

The week-long Celtic Festival runs March 11-17 and features live music, storytelling, art exhibitions, poetry readings and culinary events. It’s a huge task, one that isn’t fully ironed out yet, but Syeles assures that it will be big.

“We interviewed hundreds of people around the area about what they wanted to see at the celebration,” Syeles says. “Most people said that they wanted to celebrate St. Augustine’s heritage, culture and beauty, while bringing international and national attention.”

Though many people don’t know it, Syeles says St. Augustine has a long line of Celtic history — dating back to its 1565 founder, Pedro Menedez, who was from Aviles, a Celtic region in Northern Spain. “What if over half of the citizens of St. Augustine can claim Irish, Scottish or other Celtic roots?” he asks. “What if five of St. Augustine’s Spanish Colonial mayors had Irish last names? What

if the Catholic Church in Spain appointed Father Miguel O’Reilly as the original pastor to our Minorcans?”

Indicating that the answer to these questions is uniformly “yes,” Syeles says it’s “about time” that St. Augustine celebrates its Irish, Scottish, Welsh and Gaelic history. “We should have had a Celtic Festival all along.”

Syeles and the rest of the crew at Romanza have some stiff competition. Savannah, Ga., the historic city just a few hours to the north, has the second-largest St. Patrick’s Day parade and celebration in the world (New York City has the largest).

“They get 400,000 visitors for that week,” Syeles says. “More than 50 percent come from Florida. It’s just gotten too big and overcrowded.”

Along with sponsors like Meehan’s Irish Pub and the St. Johns County Tourist Development Council, a lot of people in town are hoping that revelers will trade an elbow-to-elbow Savannah celebration for a quaint St. Augustine experience.

Romanza’s already confirmed several events for the festival. Friday night’s opening ceremony will include a short speech by parttime resident, former Sen. George McGovern, and Saturday morning’s main event will feature a St. Patrick’s Day Parade through downtown St. Augustine (participant info at romanzafl. org). “It will be a huge attraction, especially for families,” Syeles says.

Festival venues include area pubs and a main stage in the yard of de Mesa-Sanchez House in the Colonial Spanish Quarter, featuring Irish dancing workshops and poets.

Some of the confirmed appearances include Ireland’s Dublin City Ramblers, St. Augustine’s own The Wobbly Toms and Michael Funge, Spanish bagpiper Hevia, Irish humorist Derek Coghlan, classical guitarist Pat Coldrick, Jax Beach’s Rathkeltair and Orlando CeltWWic rockers Seven Nations.

“The whole event is kind of crazy,” Syeles admits of everything they’ve taken on for the weeklong festival. “But we’re crazy people.”

Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

© 2011

FolioWeekly

© 2011

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 37

F

Rave on: Comedian Lewis Black.

All the Rage

Comedian Lewis Black proves there is such a thing as healthy anger LEWIS BLACK Sunday, March 13 at 8 p.m.

The Florida Theatre, 128 E. Forsyth St., Jacksonville Tickets are $41 and $51 355-2787

L

ewis Black is one angry man. Anyone with a passing familiarity of his “Back In Black” segment on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (the show’s longest-running segment) knows the routine. Lewis starts softly, riffing on a societal or political topic of his choosing. But soon, all hell breaks loose — the veins in Black’s forehead start bulging, his hands begin twitching, his voice rises to a neurotic swell, and just before it seems like the comic is going off the proverbial deep end, Stewart has to talk him back down.

But that slice of Black’s onstage life, while vital to his role as “more pissed-off optimist than mean-spirited curmudgeon,” is only the tip of the D.C.-native’s performance iceberg.

Three books, eight CDs, seven DVDs, nine movies and more than 200 live dates a year all add up to make Lewis Black one of the most prolific and recognizable comics of our generation. Black took a break from a recent run through Michigan to chat with Folio Weekly about his 2011 Grammy win, his hatred of cell phones and the childhood roots of his fury.

Folio Weekly: You won a Grammy award last month for Best Comedy Album. How did that feel, especially coming on your dad’s 93rd birthday?

Lewis Black: Remarkable — I’m still kind of stunned. It’s thrilling, because there aren’t a lot of things that honor comedians. This is my second [Grammy], and I really didn’t expect it at all. I wasn’t at the show, though; I was in Peoria, Ill., performing.

F.W.: You’ve always balanced your stand-up routine with CDs, books, movies and even a short gig as the spokesman for Aruba tourism. Do you have to spread the work around to be successful?

L.B.: It all feeds on each other, but I think it’s important to keep your sanity.

38 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

F.W.: Speaking of sanity, does your comedic

style reflect your full-time personality? Or is it just a well-honed act?

L.B.: When I was a kid, that was [when I was] the funniest — when I got frustrated and upset and angry. That’s always been my bread and butter.

F.W.: And is it true that you wing it onstage, not writing anything down?

L.B.: Sorry, say that again? You’re going in and out … Who knows what the f*ck it is — I’ve had it with cell phones! [After I repeat the

“When I was a kid, I was the funniest when I got frustrated and upset and angry. That’s always been my bread and butter.” question:] No, I don’t write stuff down. I take notes — I write it all on stage and then try to remember what was good and bring that back the next night.

F.W.: Your act is filled with politics. Will you ever be happy with the state of the American government?

L.B.: When it comes to stupidity in American politics, there is no void. Everybody was saying,

“When Obama’s elected, I guess you won’t be funny any more, huh?” But, no, it’s endless.

F.W.: You donate money to heaps of charitable foundations. This doesn’t jibe well with your angry onstage persona.

L.B.: That makes what we’re doing make a lot more sense. For a long time I was broke — completely broke — so the opportunity to give back to people that need help is unbelievable to me. Also what’s extraordinary is that we don’t budget for the totality of the health and welfare of the United States — you have to go out and try to collect money for things that you shouldn’t have to collect money for. But if that’s the way it has to be done, then I guess you gotta go do it.

F.W.: You still maintain a home in North Carolina and remain involved with your alma mater, UNC-Chapel Hill. What is it about the area that keeps drawing you back?

L.B.: I’m really comfortable there. It’s a great town, and I find that it’s a good place for me to write. I’ve got some very good friends down there, so it’s a way for me to get away.

F.W.: Do you have family there?

L.B.: No, no. The state won’t allow me to have children. There are people who can do the family thing, but I haven’t been able to figure that one out.

Nick McGregor themail@folioweekly.com

Walter Coker

Remembering Alan: A public memorial for Alan Justiss (1943-2011) is held on March 12 from 1:30-3:30 p.m. at 5 Points Theatre, 1028 Park St., Jacksonville. Friends and well-wishers are invited to come and honor the memory of the late poet. 359-0047.

PERFORMANCE INHERIT THE WIND This drama, inspired by a teacher’s efforts to teach Darwin’s theory of evolution in a Tennessee classroom, is staged at 8 p.m. on March 11 and 12 and at 2 p.m. on March 13 at Theatre Jacksonville, 2032 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $25; $20 matinee for seniors, military and students. 396-4425.

THE RHYTHM OF LIFE JU Music Theatre and Dance programs present this musical revue at 7:30 p.m. on March 10 and 11 at Jacksonville University’s Terry Concert Hall, 2800 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 256-7677.

I NEVER SAW ANOTHER BUTTERFLY This child-geared production, about WWII-era children who passed through the Terezin concentration camp, is staged at 10:15 a.m. on March 10 at Thrasher Horne Center for the Arts, 283 College Drive, Orange Park. Tickets are $8. 276-6750.

DARK OF THE MOON Flagler College stages Howard Richardson’s classic drama at 7:30 p.m. on March 11 and 12 and at 2 p.m. on March 13 at the college’s Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine. Tickets are $10. 826-8600.

MERCHANT OF VENICE Shakespeare’s classic tragedy with comedic undertones is staged at 8 p.m. on March 10, 11 and 12 and at 2 p.m. on March 13 at Players by the Sea, 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. Admission is $21; $18 for seniors, military and students. 249-0289.

RHYTHM OF THE DANCE A celebration of traditional Irish dancing kicks off at 7 p.m. on March 13 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $33.50-$63.50. 632-3373.

HAIRSPRAY This musical adaptation of John Waters’ comedy about 1960s dance contests is staged at 8 p.m. on March 8 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $45 and $49. 641-1212.

AUNTIE ROZ PEANUT SHOW Educator and performer Roslyn Burrough leads a cast of children in this Broadway-style production to promote academic excellence at 10 a.m. on March 8-11 at Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church’s Coleman Auditorium, 1118 Beaver St., Jacksonville. Admission is $5. 713-0885.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS LINDA BROADFOOT LECTURE Photographer Broadfoot discusses insect photography with the slide show “INSECTA: Things Are Not What They Seem” at 6:30 p.m. on March 15 at Ponte Vedra Beach Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. 273-0495.

MODERN DANCE COMPANY SEEKS DANCERS Braided Light Dance Project auditions two women and two men, with training in modern dance, ballet and improvisation, from 1-2:30 p.m. on March 12 at Barbara Thompson School of Dance, 8595 Beach Blvd., Ste. 310, Jacksonville. braidedlightdance@gmail.com SEEKING PHOTOGRAPHERS The Gallery in One Ocean Resort seeks photographers to display their work. Submit entries to One Ocean Resort Hotel, One Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, FL 32233, attn: Jennifer Airingdale. Deadline is March 31.

NATURE PHOTOGRAPHY WORKSHOP The Sierra Club presents a workshop with Kirk Chamberlain on photographing area wildlife at 6:45 p.m. on March 14 at Lakewood Presbyterian Church, 2001 University Blvd., Jacksonville. 733-8055.

JAX ART UNLEASHED First Coast No More Homeless Pets accepts works in a variety of media for its June 23 Jax Art Unleashed fundraiser and juried art show. Deadline is May 30. Artwork may be dropped off or mailed to 6817 Norwood Ave., Jacksonville FL 32208. 520-7900. jaxartunleashed.com YOUTH TALENT COMPETITION The Generation Next youth talent competition welcomes performers ages 7-21 to compete for a chance to perform at Jacksonville Jazz Festival. Auditions are held from 2-5 p.m. on April 16 at

Keyboard Connection Pianos & Organs, 9912 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 880-0002.

CALL FOR RECYCLED BOTTLE ART St. Augustine Sculpture Garden seeks original recycled glass bottle (wine or liquor) art to be sold to raise funds to complete the projected community sculpture garden. Artists may submit up to three pieces decorated in any media. All pieces are to be photographed for the garden’s website. Deadline for submissions is March 15.

Artwork should be delivered to Butterfield Garage, 137 King St., St. Augustine. 825-4577. st-augustine-sculpture-garden.org AFRICAN HAND DRUM CLASS Midnight Sun offers hand drum classes at 7 p.m. every Tue. at 1055 Park St., Jacksonville. Class fee is $10. 358-3869.

SPRING ACTING CLASSES Players By The Sea offers various 10-week acting classes for ages K-adult through April 22 at 106 Sixth St. N., Jax Beach. Class fees vary. 249-0289.

FINE ART FEST SEEKS ARTISTS The inaugural Jacksonville Fine Arts Festival seeks artists for a juried event on April 9 and 10 in Avondale’s Boone Park. Entry fees start at $25.

Register at zapplication.org. 388-1188.

ROMANCE WRITERS’ CONFERENCE First Coast Romance Writers accept registrations for the “Light Up Your Career at the Southern Writers’ Conference” from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. on March 12 at Jacksonville Marriott, 4670 Salisbury Road.

Workshops, a keynote luncheon and critique raffles are featured. Registration is $110. firstcoastromancewriters.com CALL TO ARTISTS The second annual Art & About Festival offers space for artists working in various media. The festival is held on April 30 at Town Hall Park, 2042 Park Ave., Orange Park. Entry deadline is April 9. artguildoforangepark.com LIFE DRAWING SKETCH GROUP This non-instructional drawing group, featuring a live model, meets from 7-10 p.m. every Mon. at St. Augustine Art Association, 22 Marine St. Artists bring their own supplies. The fee is $10. 824-2310. staaa.org ADULT ART CLASSES Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, photoshop, drawing, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Mon.-Sat. at The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra, 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra. Fees vary.

280-0614. ccpvb.org CORSE GALLERY WORKSHOPS Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Mon.-Sat. at Corse Gallery & Atelier, 4144 Herschel St., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 388-8205. corsegalleryatelier.com WEST AFRICAN DRUM & DANCE A drumming class is held at 5:30 p.m., an African dance class is held at 6:45 p.m. every Fri. at St. Johns Cultural Arts Center, 370 A1A Beach Blvd. Each class is $10. 315-1862.

ARTIST PALETTE CLASSES Beginning and advanced acrylics, watercolors, drawing, oil painting and portrait painting classes are held Tue.-Sat. at Artist Palette, 3821 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 200-8937.

THEATRICAL ARTS Classes in theatrical performance, including song and dance, are held Mon.-Fri. at The Performers Academy, 3674 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Fees vary. 322-7672. theperformersacademy.com

CLASSICAL & JAZZ USAF ACADEMY BAND The United States Air Force Academy Band performs at 7:30 p.m. on March 9 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878.

SORDS AND SACO EMMA Concerts presents violinist Andrew Sords with the St. Augustine Community Orchestra for a program featuring works by Bizet, Lalo and William Walton, at 8 p.m. on March 11 at the Lightner Museum, 25 Granada St., St. Augustine. The concert is also held at 3 p.m. on March 13 at Switzerland Community Church, 2179 S.R. 13, Switzerland.

Tickets are $10. 797-2800.

MOZART, LEPPARD AND WEISS Raymond Leppard conducts the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra with pianist Orion Weiss

in a program featuring works by Mozart, Beethoven and Elgar, at 8 p.m. on March 11, 12 and 13 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $26-$66. 354-5547.

ESPERANZA SPALDING This 2011 Grammy Award-winning jazz vocalist and bassist performs at 8 p.m. on March 12 at Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville.

Tickets are $45. 632-5555.

TURANDOT Puccini’s beloved opera is performed at 8 p.m. on March 12 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $36-$61. 632-3373.

CELLO & PIANO RECITAL Cellist Boyan Bonev joins pianist Hristo Birbochukov at 2:30 p.m. on March 13 at Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. 630-2665.

JSYO SPRING CONCERT Musical director Scott Gregg presents the Jacksonville Symphony Youth Orchestra at 5 p.m. on March 13 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. 354-5547.

THE TBA BIG BAND This big band plays modern jazz at 7 p.m. on March 14 at Harmonious Monks, 10550 Old St. Augustine Road, Jacksonville. 880-3040.

JAZZ AT THE BRASSERIE Vocalist Victoria Ward, pianist Ezekiel Haynes and saxophonist Tracy Morris — The Tori-V Experience — perform R&B and jazz standards at 7 p.m. every Tue. Live jazz is featured at 7 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at The Brasserie, 1312 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 249-5800.

JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Boril Ivanov Trio performs at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum performs at 7 p.m. every Fri. at The Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 262-0006.

JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano features live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999.

JAZZ AT INDIGO ALLEY Amelia Arts Academy Jazz Ensemble jams at 6:30 p.m.; Frankie’s Jazz Jam is on at 7:30 p.m. on March 8. Guitarist Dan Voll plays from 8-11 p.m. on March 12 at 316 Centre St., Fernandina Beach. 261-7222.

JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie features live jazz nightly at 7 p.m. at 66 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 825-0502.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. 353-1188.

SECOND SATURDAY ARTRAGEOUS ART WALK The galleries of downtown Fernandina Beach are open from 5:30-8 p.m. on March 12 for this self-guided tour. 277-0717.

RIVERSIDE ARTS MARKET Performers include Cathedral Arts Project at 10:30 a.m., Fusion Band at 11:45 a.m., Katlyn Lowe and Sean Doyle at 2:30 p.m. on March 12 at Riverside Arts Market, held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. every Sat. beneath the Fuller Warren Bridge on Riverside Avenue, Jacksonville.

The Arts Market features local and regional artists, strolling performers, bands and a farmers market. Admission is free.

554-6865, 389-2449. riversideartsmarket.com

MUSEUMS AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378. A display of paintings by The Highwaymen runs through March. The museum’s permanent collection includes artifacts from Nassau County’s Spanish Mission period.

BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY CENTER 413 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 241-5657. Painter Ellen Jones’ “The Roaring 20s: Transportation Beaches Style” runs through April 2.

CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS The annual Garden Week celebration is held March 14-19. The reception “Petals to Paint” is held from 6-8 p.m. on March 14 and features floral interpretations of some of the museum’s collection, by local artists. Price is $70; $65 for members. “A Conversation with Nancy Clarke: A History of Flowers at the White House” is held at 11 a.m. on March 15. Admission is $70; $65 for members. “The Cummer Legacy” runs through May 22. The Livingston Elementary School Exhibition features student artwork through May 9. The photo exhibit, “A Genius for Place: American Landscapes of the Country Place Era,” runs through April 24. A drop-in art class allows kids ages 4-10 to explore the galleries and create their own art from 5-6 p.m. on March 1 and 7. The fee is $5 for non-members. “Women of Vision: Art Beyond Sight” runs through March 6.

MANDARIN MUSEUM & HISTORICAL SOCIETY 11964 Mandarin Road, Jacksonville, 268-0784. Walter Jones Historical Park features a maple leaf exhibit and is home to the Harriet Beecher Stowe Garden.

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. Andrea Deflorio discusses “Haussmanization: Its Transformation of Paris Life and the Dawn of Impressionism” at 7 p.m. on March 10.

The exhibit “Wind Weaver and the Whirling Wheel: A Tale of Wolfbat Romance” runs through March 20. “The Art of Seating: 200 Years of American Design” runs through April

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Just don’t call it a crayon! Artists of the First Coast Pastel Society are featured in the exhibit Salt Air Visions at First Street Gallery, 216-B First St., Neptune Beach. The show runs through April 4. 241-6928.

3. Family Fun Free Day is held from noon-4 p.m. every Sun. Open Tue.-Sun. mocajacksonville.org MUSEUM OF SCIENCE & HISTORY 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville, 396-6674. The Bryan Gooding Planetarium offers daily programs including children’s features, and weekend Cosmic Concerts. Open daily.

RITZ THEATRE & LAVILLA MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. Esperanza Spalding performs at 8 p.m. on March 12. Tickets are $45. The exhibit “Through Our Eyes” runs through May 21. “Lift Ev’ry Voice in LaVilla,” an exhibit of African-American history in Jacksonville, is on permanent display. Admission is $6 for adults, $3 for children, Sales students and Rep seniors. RL Open Tue.-Sun.

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GALLERIES

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40 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

THE ADRIAN PICKETT GALLERY The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, Ste. 112, Jacksonville, 962-2540. Adrian Pickett’s works in charcoal are displayed.

AMELIA ISLAND PLANTATION ARTISTS’ GUILD & GALLERY 94 Village Circle, Fernandina Beach, 432-1750. A reception for Anthony Whiting’s exhibit, “Mediterranean Vistas,” is held from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. on March 12. The exhibit is on display through March 31.

ANCHOR BOUTIQUE 210 St. George Street, C2, St. Augustine, 808-7078. Joel Scille’s high-performance wood electronics are featured through March.

ARCHWAY GALLERY & FRAMING 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 2, Atlantic Beach, 249-2222. Hugh Verkirk’s work is on display through March 11.

THE ART CENTER COOPERATIVE GALLERY 31 W. Adams St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. Elaine Bidell is the featured artist for March.

ARTIFACTORY GALLERY 1801 N. Myrtle St., Jacksonville, 632-2345. Historic Durkeeville’s gallery space doubles as a game room for chess players. West African Dance classes are held at 6:30 p.m. every Thur. Each class is $10; $8 for ages 12 and under.

AT&T TOWER LOBBY 301 W. Bay St., Jacksonville. The Art & Soul Gallery and the Women’s Center of Jacksonville present works celebrating Women’s History Month, through March.

AVONDALE ARTWORKS 3568 St. Johns Ave., Jacksonville, 384-8797. The juried art exhibit, “Layers: A Visual Dialogue,” runs through March 15.

BEE GALLERY AND STUDIO The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 108, (727) 207-3013. The gallery features works by Brenda Kato and Melissa Finelli.

THE CULTURAL CENTER AT PONTE VEDRA BEACH 50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-0614.

Photographer Ryan Ketterman’s and ceramicist Stephen Haywood’s exhibit, “Structures in Reality: Art & Life Contained,” runs through April 8.

ELEMENTAL GALLERY The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 110, 307-1885. Works by Susan Ober, Donna Grasso and Dee Roberts are on display through March.

FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. The exhibit “Salt Air Visions” runs through April 4 and features works by the collective First Coast Pastel Society.

FSCJ KENT CAMPUS 3939 Roosevelt Blvd., Jacksonville, 646-2300. An exhibit of William Armstead’s work is on display through March 24.

GALLERY 1037 Located at Reddi-Arts, 1037 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville, 398-3161. Works by Kathleen Lambert, Anthony Rieck, Tiger Gomez and Matthew Dale Proctor are on display through April 30.

HASKELL GALLERY JIA, 14201 Pecan Park Road, 741-3546.

Works by Annelies Dykgraaf and Robert Cocanougher are displayed through March.

ISLAND ARTS ASSOCIATION 18 N. Second St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7020. This gallery features juried shows focusing on Nassau County artists.

FolioWeekly

JAXPORT GALLERY 2831 Talleyrand Ave., Jacksonville, 357-3000. Works by Mary St. Germain are displayed through April 8.

MAIN LIBRARY 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 630-2665.

The community arts project “Imagination Squared! A Creative Response Experiment” is part of the library’s permanent collection. The Holocaust exhibit, “Deadly Medicine: Creating the Master Race,” is displayed on the fourth floor through March 13.

NULLSPACE 108 E. Adams St., Jacksonville, 716-4202.

Nestor Armando Gil’s and Terri Littleton’s “Mares y Pan (Vessels)” is on display through March 8.

P.A.ST.A FINE ARTS GALLERY 214 Charlotte St., St. Augustine, 824-0251. Stained-glass mosaic artist Leslie Ward’s exhibit “Fractured!” is featured through March.

PONO VISUAL EXPRESSIONS The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, Ste. 106, Jacksonville, 735-5345. This gallery features works by photographer Istvan Pono.

ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The exhibit “Friends and Family,” featuring photography by James Quine, Joseph and Theresa Segal, Kenneth M. Barrett Jr. and Walter, Karen and Brennan Coker, is displayed through April 8.

SIMPLE GESTURES GALLERY 4 E. White St., St. Augustine, 827-9997. This gallery features the eclectic artwork of Steve Marrazzo.

SOUTH GALLERY FSCJ’s South Campus, 11901 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville, 646-2023. The opening reception for the Duval High School Exhibit and D.A.T.A. show is held from 5-7:30 p.m. on March 10. The show runs through March 24.

SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 100 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 553-6361.

Photographer Jane Shirek is the featured artist for March.

W.B. TATTER STUDIO GALLERY 76 A San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-9263. This working batik studio features works and offers workshops by Wendy Tatter, as well as monthly shows of local artists’ work.

UNIVERSITY OF NORTH FLORIDA GALLERY 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville, 620-2534. The opening reception for the 2011 Student Juried Annual Exhibit is held from 5-7 p.m. on March 8. The show runs through April 1.

VANDROFF ART GALLERY Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville, 730-2100. Paintings by Eve Albrecht are on display through March 23.

WILLIAMS-CORNELIUS GALLERY Daryl Bunn Studios, 643 Edison Ave., Jacksonville. 525-3368. The opening reception for Sean Meharg’s exhibit, “Seeing Little More,” is held from 5:30-8 p.m. on March 11. The exhibit runs through April 5.

ARTS & EATS CAFÉ 331 331 W. Forsyth St., Jacksonville, 354-1999. This popular downtown café features artwork by James Hance.

CORK & KEG WINE BAR 108 Bartram Oaks Walk, Jacksonville, 287-4310. New oil paintings by Laura D’Agnillo are displayed.

JACK & DIANE’S CAFE & WINE STORE 708 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 321-1444. An exclusive collection of photography by award-winning Florida wildlife photographer Jon Sund is on display.

NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION 119 E. Bay St., Jacksonville, 860-5451. This popular sandwich shop features works by local artists.

ZHANRAS 108 Anastasia Blvd., St. Augustine, 823-3367. The art-themed restaurant features displays of works by local artists, in rotation.

For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. JPEGs must be at least 3’x5’, 300 dpi to be considered for publication.

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Hoopla and hijinks! The world-famous Harlem Globetrotters bring basketball’s first-ever 4-point shot to Jacksonville on March 11 at 7 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd. The legendary roundball innovators have been wowing B-ball fans since 1926. Tickets range from $17.50-$150. 630-3900.

EVENTS

LIFT, DON’T SEPARATE! Gloria Steinem and Dorothy Pitman Hughes are the featured speakers at 7 p.m. on March 10 at University of North Florida’s Lazzara Theater, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. The women’s rights activists discuss goals for equal opportunity. Tickets are $40. 386-9703.

WOMEN’S HISTORY PROJECT Flagler College’s Career Services Office marks the project by presenting Melissa Dagenais at 7 p.m. on March 10 at Crisp-Ellert Art Museum, 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine. Dagenais discusses women’s involvement in the Vietnam War. flagler.edu CONCOURS D’ELEGANCE The 16th annual event features more than 250 classic production and race cars from private collections on display at 10th and 18th fairways at The Golf Club of Amelia Island at Summer Beach, adjacent to The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island, on March 13. Road rallies, an auction of vintage cars, seminars, a black-tie gala dinner and a silent auction are also featured from March 11-13. ameliaconcours.org HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS The Harlem Globetrotters exhibition basketball team, in its 85th season of touring, appears at 7 p.m. on March 11 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., downtown. Tickets range from $17.50-$150.00.

630-3900. harlemglobestrotters.com SPRING FOR THE ARTS The seventh annual Cathedral Arts Project fundraiser is held at 6 p.m. on March 11 at Deerwood Country Club, 10239 Golf Club Drive, Jacksonville. Wine, cocktails, food, dancing and live music from KTG Entertainment are featured. Tickets are $125. 281-5599 ext. 17.

AUTISM SYMPOSIUM Wolfson Children’s Hospital presents the third annual symposium at 9 a.m. on March 9 at University of North Florida’s University Center, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. Autism experts address medical evidence about autism causes and treatments. Admission is $35, which includes lunch. 202-6039.

GATE RIVER RUN The 34th annual 15K run is held at 8 a.m. on March 12 through downtown Jacksonville, including San Marco and St. Nicholas. Live bands play along the route. gate-riverrun.com LIONS SEAFOOD FESTIVAL The 30th annual St. Augustine Lions Seafood Festival is held from 3-9 p.m. on March 11, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. on March 12 and 10 a.m.-5 p.m. on March 13 at Francis Field, 29 W. Castillo Drive, St. Augustine. Boatloads of seafood and arts and crafts are featured. Bands performing include Saltwater Cowgirls, Up The Creek, Florida State Bluegrass, Valerie Smith & Liberty Pike, Grandpa’s Cough Medicine and Woods Tea Co. Admission is $2, kids 12 and under are free. Proceeds benefit Lions Club charities. 8250850. lionsfestival.com ROLLERGIRLS FACEOFF The River City Rat Pack rolls against the Duval Derby Dames at 7 p.m. on March 13 at Skate Station, 3461 Kori Road, Mandarin. All tickets are $10 in advance sold at brownpapertickets.com or Skate Bomb, 1365 Third St. S., Jacksonville Beach; $12 at the door. Doors open at 6:30 and the bout starts at 7 p.m. 880-7703.

COSMIC CONCERTS Laser Mania at 5 p.m., U2 at 6 p.m., The Beatles at 7 p.m., and Laser Retro at 8 p.m. on March 11 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville.

Each concert is $5. 396-6674 ext. 240. moshplanetarium.org

POLITICS & ACTIVISM

BROWN BAG LUNCH The Jacksonville Human Rights Commission holds this lunch and information exchange at noon on March 10 at FSCJ, Deerwood Campus, 9911 Old Baymeadows Road, Jacksonville. registration is at 11:30 a.m.

A panel discussion on “Strategies for Achieving Workplace Diversity” is featured. 630-1212 ext. 3020. coj.net MOLASSES JUNCTION TEA PARTY The inaugural Tea Party

meeting is held at 7 p.m. on March 11 at Molasses Junction, 6300 C.R. 214, St. Augustine. Jamie Davis of the 10th Amendment Center, and Mike Austell, of Oathkeepers, are the featured speakers. 501-3971.

CITIZENS PLANNING ADVISORY COMMITTEE The Northwest CPAC meets at 6 p.m. on March 10 at Bradham-Brooks branch library, 1755 Edgewood Ave. W., Jacksonville. 255-8236.

PUBLIC SERVICE GRANT COUNCIL The council meets at 4 p.m. on March 15 in Eighth Floor Conference Room, Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-1273.

JACKSONVILLE JOURNEY The oversight committee of this crime-fighting initiative meets at 4 p.m. on March 24 in Eighth Floor Conference Room 851, Ball Building, 214 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville. 630-1273.

MAYORAL DEBATE The third televised debate featuring all six candidates (presuming they all show this time) is held March 17, and broadcast live at 8 p.m. on WJCT Public Television and 89.9 FM. The town hall-style meeting focuses on the role of government in public health and safety.

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COMMUNITY INTEREST

GENEALOGY CONFERENCE The inaugural North Florida Regional Genealogy Conference is held from 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. on March 12 at Main Library, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. 630-2665. jpl.coj.net INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY Women worldwide campaign for peace; locally, women gather at noon on March 8 at the corner of San Marco and Museum Drive, Northbank, and cross the Acosta Bridge in solidarity. womenforwomen. org/bridge CELEBRITY CHEFS BENEFIT The Salvation Army Celebrity Chefs Tasting Luncheon is held from 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m. on March 10 at Prime Osborn Center, 1000 Water St., downtown.

Tickets are $30 and include parking and a cookbook featuring recipes from the event. Proceeds benefit Salvation Army programs. 301-4841.

NORTH FLORIDA WOMEN’S EXPO This expo is held from 11 a.m.-7 p.m. on March 10 in University of North Florida’s Grand Banquet Hall, 12000 Alumni Drive, Jacksonville. A fashion show is featured. Admission and parking are free.

631-1662. wibnetwork.org GUMBO FEST PHiNS Parrot Heads Club holds its sixth annual gumbo cook-off at 11 a.m. on March 12 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, Jacksonville. Raffles and live music by The George Aspinall Band are featured. Unlimited Gumbo servings for $10 each. Proceeds benefit Gleaners Dispatch, an organization that gathers fresh food and distributes it to people in need. phinsjax.org PONTE VEDRA FORUM Linda Smith discusses William Steinway’s diaries at 10:15 a.m. on March 10 at Ponte Vedra Library, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. Admission is free.

827-6951.

WORSHIP EXPERIENCE CHARITY CONCERT This fundraiser for National Multiple Sclerosis Society Education is held at 6:30 p.m. on March 11 at Great Awakening Ministries, 6200 Lake Gray Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $25. 746-4257.

DOG PARK BENEFIT DANCE Tails of the Old West Country Western Dance is held from 7-10 p.m. on March 11 at Fernandina Beach Woman’s Club, 210 Jean Lafitte Ave., Fernandina Beach. Beer and wine are available. Free chuck wagon snacks and live music by Frankie and the Midnight Riders are featured. Tickets are $25; proceeds benefit NHS Dog Park. nassauhumanesociety.com RETIREMENT INCOME LECTURE Certified financial planner Mark Dennis discusses “Savvy Social Security Planning: What Everyone Needs to Know to Maximize Retirement Income” from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. on March 15 at AIFBY Chamber of (Continues on page 42)

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Steve and Moranda Eagleton and Scotty Carnes Roby Baird and Peter Ward Lori and Ken Aston Debbie Tomlinson, Steve Gard, Bonnie Barnes and Paul Gruenther Cat Walker, Jenn Baez, Tammy Barley, Ellie Balolong, Julie Wintz and Jenna Rowland Trinity Baker and Kat Peraino Steffani Gilligan and Marie DuBois Tommy Croxford and Teresa Veltri

t any B-52s concert, the stage show is going to face some stiff competition from ordinary people-watching, and the recent Ponte Vedra Concert Hall performance was no exception.

Brightly colored bouffants, psychedelic paisley prints and sequin mini-dresses were par for the course, as revelers came together to cheer on the “World’s Greatest Party Band.” The churchturned-concert hall also features a full bar, though one woman admitted, “I feel kind of guilty drinking here” — before partaking of the hard stuff. By the time The B-52s took the stage just after 9 p.m., the crowd was well-lubricated and most appreciative. Hits like “Love Shack,” “Mesopotamia” and “Rock Lobster” got the sold-out crowd moving, while Fred Schneider gave a hint of the band’s own religious orientation. “There’s this one special place we go on Sundays,” he joked before launching into “Funplex.” “It’s called the shopping mall.”

Seen heading for the love getaway were Tim Hall, Katie Urban, Colleen Riley, Alan Wallace, David and Sara Backes, Haleigh Stillwell, Chris Brown, Kip Hopkins, Heather Tittle, Jessica and Kortney Williams, Gretchen Stansberry, Lane Reader, Kim Richard, Peggy Barker and Lori Hammer.

Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com

For more photos from this and other events, check out the Street Team link at folioweekly.com.

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 41

FEATURING EXOTIC ENTREES CLAY OVEN GRILLED FOOD “TANDOORI SPECIALTY” FINEST EXOTIC CURRIES FROM INDIA GREAT APPETIZERS RICE BIRYANI & FLAT BREADS

Fresh Lunch Buffet 11:30am-2:30pm $6.95 Exotic Dinner Menu Nightly 5:30pm-10pm

“BEST INDIAN CUISINE”

INDIA’S RESTAURANT

9802-8 Baymeadows Rd. • 620-0777 • visit indiajax.com

(Continued from page 41) Commerce, 961687 Gateway Blvd., Ste. 101G, Amelia Island.

Tickets are $5 and include a box lunch. For reservations, call 352-1343 ext. 1. SSworkshop@A1Awealthmanagement.com TERPS ALUMNI Meet fellow University of Maryland alumni, friends of Maryland and Terrapin fans at 6:15ish on March 11 at Caribbee Key, 100 First St., Neptune Beach. Dress is beach-casual, with a focus on yellow and black. Admission is free. 280-9148.

CAR-FIT PROGRAM A Car-Fit program is offered at 10 a.m. on March 12 at Coastal Community Center, 180 Marine St., St. Augustine. The driver safety educational program is free.

315-6505.

BEACHES GREEN MARKET Local produce, all-natural beef, organic eggs and coffees and crafts are offered from 2-5 p.m. every Sat. in Jarboe Park, corner of Florida Boulevard and Third Street, Neptune Beach. beacheslocalfoodnetwork.web MIDWEEK MARKET This market is held from 4-7 p.m. every Wed. at Bull Park, at Ocean Boulevard and East Coast Drive at Seventh Street, Atlantic Beach. Fresh locally grown produce, nuts, honey, eggs, plants, and baked goods are offered, along with live music. Bring a grocery bag, basket or cart.

247-5828. coab.us

KIDS

KIDS’ FREE FISHING CLINIC The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission hosts a free fishing clinic for children ages 4-16 from 9 a.m.-1 p.m. on March 12 at Ft. Clinch State Park Fishing Pier, 2601 Atlantic Ave., Fernandina Beach. Lessons on knot-tying, fishing ethics, tackle, habitat and casting are offered. A free hot dog lunch is provided.

277-7274. floridastateparks.org LIBRARY EVENTS Teen Tech Week is marked with a Hogwarts Castle building for ages 11-18 at 3:30 p.m. on March 9 and at 2 p.m. on March 12 at Ponte Vedra branch, 101 Library Blvd., Ponte Vedra. Family story time is held at 11 a.m. every Tue. 827-6950. sjcpls.org

BOOKS & WRITING

THE BOOKMARK Bestselling Florida author Les Standiford signs copies of his book, “Bringing Adam Home: The Abduction That Changed America,” at 7 p.m. on March 12 at The BookMark, 220 First St., Neptune Beach. Detective Joe Matthews, who solved the murder of Adam Walsh, is also on hand. Mystery author Lisa Gardner presents her new book, “Love You More: A D.D. Warren Novel,” at 3 p.m. on March 13. Writer Steve Berry is also on hand. The Jacksonville area chapter of National Organization for Women presents “Rona Recommends” at 6:30 p.m. on March 15, featuring BookMark owner Rona Brinlee. Admission is free.

241-9026.

SOUTHERN LIGHTS WRITERS CONFERENCE The conference, featuring craft and career workshops, is held from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. on March 12 at Marriott Hotel, 4670 Salisbury Road, Jacksonville. Registration is $110. firstcoastromancewriters.com

© 2008 folioweekly

COMEDY

COMEDY ZONE All Stars on March 8 and 9. Henry Cho (“Mr. Clean”) appears at 8 p.m. on March 10, at 7 and 9 p.m. on March 11, and 9 p.m. on March 12 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, in the Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $15-$25. 292-4242.

JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Julie Scoggins and Billy B on March 11 and 12 at Jackie Knight’s Comedy Club, 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine (U.S. 1 & S.R. 16). Tickets are $12. Comedy open mic night is held at 8 p.m. every Thur.; tickets are $5. 461-8843.

EVENSTILL Comedy is staged on March 14 at Xscape Lounge, 7707 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. 662-2097.

UPCOMING

MAYORAL DEBATE March 17, WJCT Public Television GREAT ATLANTIC SEAFOOD & MUSIC FESTIVAL March 19, Jax Beach DISNEY ON ICE April 7, Veterans Memorial Arena SHRIMP FESTIVAL April 28-May 1, Fernandina Beach

NATURE & OUTDOORS

42 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

BEE COLLEGE The University of Florida Honey Bee Research and Extension Lab offers its fourth annual Honey Bee College from 8 a.m.-4 p.m. on March 11 and 12 at Whitney Marine Lab, 9600 Ocean Shore Blvd., Marineland. It’s Florida’s largest educational honey bee event, offering classes in bee

BEE Season! The University of Florida Honey Bee Research and Extension Lab offers its fourth annual Honey Bee College from 8 a.m.-4 p.m. on March 11 and 12 at Whitney Marine Lab, 9600 Ocean Shore Blvd., Marineland, with tips on everything from candlemaking to building native bee habitats. Admission is $110 per person per day or $170 for both days. 387-8850. ufhoneybee.com

anatomy, pollen identification, rendering wax, candlemaking and building bee habitats. Admission is $110 per person per day or $170 for both days. 387-8850. ufhoneybee.com WILD NITE ON SUSTAINABLE FORESTRY Wild Amelia Nature Festival presents a forum on Sustainable Forestry from 7-8 p.m. on March 8 at Peck Recreation Center’s auditorium, 516 S. 10th St., Fernandina Beach. Rayonier Foresters discuss plant and animal habitat and keeping pine forests healthy.

Admission is free. 251-0016. wildamelia.com FROG WATCH This citizen program to learn about local frogs and toads is held from 6-8 p.m. on March 10 at Fort Mose Historic State Park, 15 Ft. Mose Trail, St. Augustine.

823-2232.

NATIVE USE OF PLANTS Local experts discuss how natives in Florida utilized plants in their daily lives at 1 p.m. on March 13 at Ribault Club, Ft. George Island Cultural State Park, 11241 Ft. George Road, Ft. George Island. Admission is free.

251-2320. floridastateparks.org/littletalbotisland NATURE WALK AT MARINELAND GTM Research Reserve leads a nature walk from 8:30-11 a.m. on March 12 at its Marineland location, 9741 Ocean Shore Blvd., St. Augustine.

Reservations are requested; call 823-4500.

FLORIDA NATIVE PLANT SOCIETY The Sea Oats Chapter of the FNPS gets together at 7 p.m. on March 15 at City Hall, 2200 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. Elizabeth Flynn, habitat steward with the National Wildlife Federation, discusses backyard habitat programs. Admission is free. 692-3927. fnps.org

BUSINESS

SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB Nelson Cuba, Fraternal Order of Police, speaks at noon on March 9 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20 for members, $25 for nonmembers. 396-5559. annie.sbmc@yahoo.com AIFBY CHAMBER Yulee Area Council gets together at 8:30 a.m. on March 8 at Cafe @ The Hamptons, 95742 Amelia Concourse, Fernandina Beach. info@aifby.com SMALL BUSINESS COUNSELING Cathy Hagan, Certified Business Analyst with University of North Florida’s Small Business Development Center, meets with business owners to discuss planning, marketing and cash flow management from 8 a.m.-5 p.m. on March 9 at AIFBY Chamber of Commerce, 961687 Gateway Blvd., Ste. 101G, Amelia Island.

Admission is free. To schedule, call (800) 450-4624.

CHAMBER BEFORE HOURS The Ponte Vedra Chamber of Commerce gets together at a breakfast at 7:30 a.m. on March 9 at Elizabeth’s Café, 1500 Sawgrass Village Drive, Ponte Vedra. Admission is $5. 285-2004.

CAREER EXPO Jacksonville Business Exchange holds this event from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on March 11 at Aloft Jacksonville Tapestry Park, 4812 W. Deer Lake Drive, Jacksonville. eventbrite.com

CLASSES & GROUPS

LIVER CLEANSING Fifth-generation master herbalist Dean Morris discusses herbs, minerals, fibers, and probiotics at 8 p.m. on March 8 at Native Sun Natural Foods Market, 10000 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin. For reservations, call 260-6950.

EMPOWERMENT OF BUDDHA SHAKYAMUNI This day program is held from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on March 13 at Maitreya Kadampa Buddhist Center, 85 Sailfish Drive, Atlantic Beach.

Admission is $55. Register with Carol Lutker at 222-8531.

THE LEARNING COMMUNITY The Learning Community of North Florida offers the class Limerick Writing for Fun, Profit & Vengeance at 6:15 p.m. on March 8 at 626 S. Eighth St., Fernandina Beach. Class fee is $49. The class Creating Hypertufta Garden Containers is held from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. on March 9. Building Your Brand on Social Networks is held at 6:15 p.m. on March 10. A topiary workshop is held at 1:30 p.m. on March 11. Cold-process soap-making is offered at 1:30 p.m. on March 12. For additional classes and details, call 430-0120. tlcnf.com SCRABBLE CLUB The Scrabble Club of Jacksonville gathers at 1 p.m. every Wed. at Golden Corral, 11470 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville and every Thur. at Barnes & Noble, 11112 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville; for times, email curtlee59@aol. com. All levels are welcome. 733-1565.

JAX JUGGLERS Future jugglers gather from 6-7 p.m. every second Tue. and every fourth Mon. at San Marco Library’s Balis Center, 1514 LaSalle St., Jacksonville. Admission is free. jaxjugglers.org NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem?

Maybe they can help. 358-6262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna. org, firstcoastna.org NAR-A-NON This group meets at 8 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. at 4172 Shirley Ave., Avondale. 945-7168.

SALSA & TAEBO CLASSES Free classes are held at 6 p.m. every Fri. at Builders of Balance Health & Wellness, 7540 103rd St., Ste. 216, Jacksonville. 485-3112.

BELLY DANCE CLASS Free classes are held at 4 p.m. every Sun. at Anais Belly Dance Studio, 10300 Southside Blvd., Avenues Mall. 680-0106.

JACKSONVILLE CHESS This group gathers from 1-5 p.m. every Sun. in the Sears area Food Court at Avenues Mall, 10300 Southside Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is free. You may bring a chess set, board and clock. All levels. 731-8496 ext. 210. jaxchess.com ASSOCIATION OF ASTROLOGY OF NORTH FLORIDA The AANF gets together at 7 p.m. on the fourth Tue. of each month at C.C.O.T., 1637 Hamilton St., Jacksonville. 641-4121 or 620-0031.

MS SUPPORT GROUP This group gathers at 1:30 p.m. every first Fri. at Neptune Beach Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach. 246-8841.

FINANCIAL PEACE The program is held at 1 p.m. every Sun. at Christ Church of Jacksonville, 6310 Blanding Blvd., Jacksonville. Call 771-6723 for details. daveramsey.com BEREAVEMENT COUNSELING SERVICES Community Hospice offers support for those who are grieving a death at Neviaser Educational Institute at Community Hospice, 4266 Sunbeam Road, Jacksonville. To schedule an appointment, call 407-4802.

BREAST CANCER SUPPORT GROUP This St. Augustine group gathers at 7 p.m. on the first Tue. of every month at Flagler Hospital, 400 Health Park Blvd., Ste. 1010, St. Augustine.

501-7100.

CELEBRATE RECOVERY The recovery program meets every Fri. at Beaches Chapel Church and School, 610 Florida Blvd., Neptune Beach. Dinner is held at 6 p.m. (suggested donation $5), a group meeting is held at 7 p.m. and small genderspecific meetings are held at 8 p.m., followed by fellowship, coffee and dessert. 241-4211 ext. 448.

To list an event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to events@folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com.

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 43

Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE (In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.)

THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining is offered in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences. Awardwinning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BEEF O’BRADY’S FAMILY SPORTS PUB F Signature wings, burgers and sandwiches. BW. TO. L & D, daily. 1916 S. 14th St. 261-0555. (For more locations, visit beefobradys.com) $$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS F The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 An Italian kitchen and wine bar. Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials.

Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The RitzCarlton, Amelia Island, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island.

277-1100. $$ ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella are served in a cozy atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a onethird-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENERAL STORE F This new store has a little bit of everything.

Breakfast includes hot rope sausage, lunch features the Redneck Reuben. Deli meats, cheeses, chicken, fish, pizzas and pasta, too. BW. B, L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 310-6080. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site.

CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 261-9400. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ F Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE F Locally owned and operated, serving specialty coffees and fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drive-thru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Northern-style pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings.

Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery and juice bar.

Extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items.

Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken and fresh organic produce. Wraps, sandwiches, soups. CM. B & L, Mon.Sat. 833 T.J. Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily.

44 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

2128 Sadler Rd. 272-2011. $$ PLAE In Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2010 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., The Ritz-Carlton, Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island. 251-2449. $$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on large oceanview deck. Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2010 winner. Grilled or blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, Mon.Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. 726-9888. $$ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily.

6132 Merrill Rd. 744-2333. $$ LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal. 8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106.

ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F Orange Tree serves hot dogs with slaw, chili cheese or sauerkraut, as well as personal size pizzas.

L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9501 Arlington Expwy., Regency Square.

721-3595. (For locations, visit orangetreehotdogs.com) $ PITA EXPRESS Philly, chicken fajita, falafel, chicken Caesar salad and eggplant parmigiana pitas, plus omelets and pancakes. CM. B, L & D, daily. 2754 Trollie Lane. 674-2637. $ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR F Generous portions and friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BEETHOVEN’S BAGEL BISTRO All-day breakfast menu with French toast and bagels. Lunch is deli fare, wraps, Reubens, paninis; dinner offers paella, chicken & dumplings. CM, BYOB. B, L & D, Wed.-Sat.; B & L, Sun. & Sat. 5917 Roosevelt Blvd.

771-6606. $$ BISCOTTIS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ THE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. Halfportions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Middle Eastern cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily. 3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ THE FOX RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Fox has been a Jacksonville landmark for 50-plus years.

Ian and Mary Chase serve classic diner-style fare, featuring homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ ORSAY Best of Jax 2010 winner. The French/American bistro focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.-Sat. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ RUAN THAI The elegant Avondale restaurant offers authentic Thai cuisine, including curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 3951 St. Johns Ave. 384-6665. $$$ TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ ’town Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott Ostrander bring the farm-to-table concept to Northeast Florida with their new Avondale restaurant, offering American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$

Walter Coker

DINING GUIDE KEY

City Hall Pub boasts a wide selection of tap beers, a full bar, a menu of sports bar fare, and 16 big-screen HD televisions, on Randolph Boulevard in Jacksonville’s downtown sports district.

BAYMEADOWS

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 8060 Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-owned-andoperated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, brickoven-baked pizza, and traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs.

Dine-in or delivered. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. 519-8000. $$ BOWL OF PHO This restaurant offers traditional Vietnamese noodle soup and authentic favorites like spring rolls, shrimp wraps and egg rolls. Big portions and a laid-back atmosphere.

9902 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-4455. $$ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT Owner Celso Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas and burritos. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deep-dish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$$ DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. 641-4877. $$ THE FIFTH ELEMENT F The first four elements are earth, water, air and fire — but here they prepare authentic Indian, South Indian and Indochinese dishes with artistic flair. Lunch buffet includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Rd. 448-0500. $$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Extensive menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, daily.

9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast. CM. L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F This Lebanese restaurant offers authentic Mediterranean cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ MAYURI INDIAN CUISINE F Traditional Indian items include tandoori specials, South Indian, Indo-Chinese, vegetarian, biryani and thali style dishes. BW. L & D. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 10. 448-5999. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, fresh seafood and sandwiches served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include

crème brûlée. FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. 739-6633. $$ PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Serving traditional Thai and vegetarian items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu in a contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9551 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. 527-8649. $$ STICKY FINGERS F See Beaches. 8129 Point Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.)

A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Subs are made-toorder fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ ATOMIC FLYING FISH SEAFOOD TACO GRILL F Beach- casual with Cali-style fish, steak, blackened gator tacos and sides. L & D, daily. 309 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 372-0882. $$ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F This cozy, family-owned place serves marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Peruvian nuggets), giant tenders, in box lunches and as Mini-Me sandwiches, along with gizzards, livers, 15 sides and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs. TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. 444-8862. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno family imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheese-steak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers and dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily.

2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach.

270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ THE BRASSERIE & BAR French/European-style bistro and bar offers coq au vin, French onion soup, fritto misto, Moroccan-style lamb shank. FB. D, Tue.-Sun. 1312 Beach Blvd. 249-5800. $$$ BUDDHA’S BELLY Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 712-4444. $$ BURRITO CANTINA This hole-in-the-wall serves big burritos and big beers. TO. L & D, daily. 22 Seminole Rd., Atlantic Beach.

246-2000. $ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CARIBBEE KEY F Best of Jax 2010 winner. AmerCaribbean cuisine includes seafood, steaks and sandwiches. Open-air deck

bar upstairs; outdoor dining downstairs. FB. L & D, daily. 100 N. First St., Neptune Beach. 270-8940. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE F The menu features favorites from The Homestead, like fried chicken, homemade-style biscuits and cornbread, served in a family atmosphere inside a cozy log cabin. CM, FB. Sun. brunch; D, daily. 1712 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB F Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, featuring Guy Fieri’s (“Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives”) fave items — Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595. $$ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F This new Jax Beach restaurant serves gastropub fare like soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip.

Daily specials, too. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd.

249-3001. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach.

246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily.

BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach.

249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Western-style seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The full-service restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MEZZA LUNA RISTORANTE F A Beaches tradition for 20+ years. Favorites are Szechuan ahi tuna, lasagna Bolognese and wood-fired pizza. Inside or patio. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MIMI’S SPORTS GRILLE East meets West: Every dish is infused with Asian style and ingredients, including lumpia, yaki tori and several kinds of sushi. FB. L & D daily. 1021 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 270-1030. $$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd.

247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25 years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings. Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NORTH BEACH BISTRO F Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco with truffled mushroom risotto; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach.

372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 Best of Jax 2010 winner. A prix fixe menu is offered.

Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.-Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach.

247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $ PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks are made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach.

241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK F An array of specialty menu items, including signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, in a casual, trendy open-air space.

FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. 111

Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-RIBS. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried che ese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-TACO (8226). $$ THAI ROOM RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Dine in an intimate setting as Chef Thepsouvanh prepares Thai cuisine like crispy duck or pan-seared Chilean sea bass. BW. L, Mon.Fri. D, Mon.-Sat. 1286 S. Third St. 249-8444. $$$ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapasstyle menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive)

ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL F The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB On the Trolley route. A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches & sides, AYCE wings buffet, soup-n-salad. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd. 356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ INDOCHINE Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated.

Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ JULIETTE’S & J-BAR Serving dinner before (or dessert after) a show. Breakfast buffet. J-Bar serves bistro-inspired small plates.

FB. Daily. Omni Hotel, 245 W. Water St. 355-6664. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine.

Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. BW. B & L, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches and build-your-own burgers. Peanut butter pie is a customer favorite. Tea parties are held every Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal.

1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MERCURY MOON F Appetizers, sandwiches, desserts. Daily specials. TO, FB. L & D, daily. 2015 C.R. 220. 215-8999. $$ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ ROCKIN RODZ BAR & GRILLE This place offers fresh fare, like Stratocaster shrimp, Hot Rod gumbo and handmade gourmet Angus burgers, served in a rockin’, upscale casual atmosphere.

Dine indoors or out. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2574 C.R. 220, Stes.

4-7. 276-2000. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F This renowned seafood place, familyowned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36.

223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 45

Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE The varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The family-ownedand-operated restaurant serves authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas and pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, including breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$ TKO’S THAI HUT F The menu offers Thai fusion, curry dishes, chef’s specials, steaks and healthy options. Sushi, too. Hookahs are also available. Dine inside or on the covered patio. FB. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 46. 647-7546. $$ ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL Traditional Mediterranean family recipes are blended to create Spanish, French, Italian and Middle Eastern inspired dishes. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Harbour Village. 221-7066. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA BAKERY & PUB F Transforms from family restaurant to pub serving Chicago-style deep dish pizza. CM, FB. D, Tue.-Fri., L & D, Sat. & Sun. 107 Nature Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Features wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk.

230-2171. $ RUSSO’S ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Traditional Italian cuisine includes veal, eggplant, seafood, steak. CM. D, Tue.-Sun. 2750 Race Track Rd., Ste. 106, Plantation Plaza. 287-4111. $$

MANDARIN

ORANGE PARK

GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches.

FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine, stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS This Italian restaurant’s specialty is the 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella.

Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches, popular lunches. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA F Homemade breads, pizza, white pizza, calzones and Italian entrees. Voted Best Pizza in Jax by Folio Weekly read-

GRILL ME A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

NAME: Jorge Bravo Camacuo

Dustin Hegedus

AL’S PIZZA Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F This seafood place features an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, chicken wings and pasta. Favorites include ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs.

Sweet potato puffs are the signature side item. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, King, Snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New Yorkstyle pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones.

BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $

CASA MARIA F See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet served daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2010 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd.

(Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily.

11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ LET’S NOSH F The authentic Jewish deli offers a full breakfast, lunch, brunch and full-service deli counter. Real New York water bagels, bread baked on site and desserts. CM. B & L, daily. 9850 San Jose Blvd. 683-8346. $ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE A laid-back atmosphere with 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19.

292-0003. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a full-service and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Madeto-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

BIRTHPLACE: Guanajuato, Mexico

RESTAURANT: La Nopalera 14333 Beach Blvd., Intracoastal West

YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 5 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (Other than my own): Olive Garden FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Garlic, tomatino and cuice japonés IDEAL MEAL: Steak and peppers WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Coconut, or any food without seasoning.

MOST MEMORABLE RESTAURANT EXPERIENCE: Cinco de Mayo at La Nopalera in 2008.

INSIDER’S SECRET: It’s all in the seasoning.

CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS: Jaguar players I’ve cooked for.

CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Smothering burgers with some hot sauce.

46 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

ers from 1996-2010. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine offers fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster and vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily.

880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ KARMA This homey place offers favorites from here and abroad, including burgers, wings, pastas, salads and apps, prepared with fresh, local ingredients. Outdoor dining is available. Brunch menu on Sat. & Sun. CM, FB. L, Sat. & Sun.; D, daily. 822 A1A N., Ste. 105. 834-3942. $$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal Waterway, LuLu’s can be reached by car or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated flair. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ Tournament Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily.

110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower. Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 2807766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers his eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2010 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Simple Faire offers breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd., Ste. 110. 683-2542. $$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club. 285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE AJ’S ON PARK STREET AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 598-0188. $$ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from scratch, including the popular petit fours and custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside. 389-7117. $ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily. Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK F See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-and-go sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL F This grill serves traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish.

CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JACKSONS GRILL Locally owned spot has an original menu of fried pickle chips, Rockin’ Ranch burgers, gumbo, sandwiches.

BW, TO. B, L & D, daily. 1522 King St. 384-8984. $$ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.-Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $

MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, nonsmoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON THE PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll).

BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ SUSHI CAFÉ F Authentic Japanese cuisine with a variety of sushi plus entrees like king salmon, katsu and teriyaki. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2025 Riverside Ave. 384-2888. $$ TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS This nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere. BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The city’s only brew pub taps seven handcrafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-and-operated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach.

461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BEACH STREET PIZZA New York and Chicago style pizzas, calzones and homemade pasta dishes, all made from fresh ingredients., served in a beach-theme atmosphere. CM. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 4171 A1A S. 461-0910. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88 San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd. 460-9311.

B, $; L & D, $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Authentic New York style brickoven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

International menu features large portions, reasonable prices.

FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ HURRICANE PATTY’S F Casual waterfront seafood place features lunch specials, nightly dinners. Dine inside or on the deck. L & D, daily. 69 Lewis Blvd. 827-1822. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials.

Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D,

Walter Coker

A taste of Lebanon awaits diners at Mandaloun Mediterranean Cuisine, serving authentic dishes like lahm mashwe, kafta khosh-khash, hummus and tabbouleh, on Old Baymeadows Road on Jacksonville’s Southside. daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just 1 block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Family-ownedand-operated, offering specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. BW. D, Tue.Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE The restaurant, in a Victorian home, offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences.

Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ SCARLETT O’HARA’S Best of Jax 2010 winner. Serving Southern fare, barbecue and seafood. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 70 Hypolita St. 824-6535. $$ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style and a seafood-heavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner.

Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ ZHANRAS F Art-themed tapas-style place has small plate items in a casual, contemporary space. Entrée portions available.

CM, FB. D, daily; Sun. brunch. 108 Anastasia Blvd. 823-3367. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken and flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio.

CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2010 winner. 13249 City Square Dr. 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 538-9100.

4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401. 996-6900. fiveguys.com $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, along with a tapas menu of gourmet fare to pair with the wine list. A wide selection of beer is also served. L & D, daily. 10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Upscale tropical vibe.

Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria brings Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce to Jax. Libretto’s serves third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-the-oven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown).

997-1955. $ mellowmushroom.com MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F Featuring seafood, an everchanging menu of more than 180 items includes cedar-roasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned steakhouse has an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen.

Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F See Orange Park. 7860 Gate

Parkway. 253-3314. $$ RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes.

Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily.

9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, fresh seafood, sandwiches For268-3655 questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 060 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT and desserts. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court.

565-2882. $$ FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 SUITE This new premium lounge and restaurant at St. Johns Town Center offers chef-driven small plates and an extensive listPROMISE OF ASK BENEFIT SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Produced jw ____ Checked by PROMISE OF BENEFIT wes RE SUPPORT FOR ACTION Produced by ____ Checked by ____ SalesbyRep of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ URBAN FLATS See Ponte Vedra. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER Best of Jax 2010 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racing-themed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-WING (9464). $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special.

BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

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SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Burgers, sandwiches, nachos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-BURG. $ DICK’S WINGS F Best of Jax 2010 winner. This NASCARthemed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2010 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolinastyle barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

b.b.’s F A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F Best of Jax 2010 winner. French, Mediterraneaninspired fare, award-winning wines, wood-fired pizzas, housemade pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ BISTRO 41 F Omelets, sandwiches, burgers, wraps, Metro Creations and Bistro Bites. Low carb dishes. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and on-tap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Wine by the glass.

Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta,

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sakehousejax.com MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 47

chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd. 398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ KIRIN SUSHI F On San Marco Square. All-new sushi menu.

Dine under neon in a cool atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily.

1950 San Marco Blvd., Ste. 1. 399-3305. $$.

LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco.

Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2010 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ PIZZA PALACE F It’s all homemade from Mama’s awardwinning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones.

BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, froyo (frozen yogurt), teas, coffees made one cup at a time, along with 30 kinds of smoothies. B, L & D, daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd.

396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE A Best of Jax 2010 winner.

Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood in an upscale atmosphere.

FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd. 306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F The independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers and lunch meats roasted daily in-house. Vegetarian options, including tempeh, too.

Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA SAN MARCO Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitanstyle wood-fired pizzas and entrées served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd.

398-3005. $$$

SOUTHSIDE

BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ BUCO DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ THE CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining.

The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. The Fresh Bar offers fine wine, cocktails, martinis. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1.

619-1931. $$$ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order — fast, hot, simple. Daily specials and buffet at most locations. BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 7330844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd.

398-1717. $ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975

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FolioWeekly

serves house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. Best of Jax 2010 winner. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2010 winner. See Intracoastal.

8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ LA STRADA ITALIA Nestled in a quiet corner of Bowden Road, La Strada Italia offers a pleasant ambience, a full menu of traditional Italian dishes, and affordability. BW, CM. L & D, daily.

6426 Bowden Rd., Ste. 202. 524-8219.$$ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE Stylish yet simple gastropub features Southern-style cuisine made with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F New York-style thin crust, brick-oven-cooked gluten-free pizzas, calzones, sandwiches (Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses). BW. L & D, Mon.Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F Best of Jax 2010 winner.

AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 So uthside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace.

751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F The family-owned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104.

757-6411. $$ JAX RIVER CITY CAFÉ Traditional breakfast fare includes omelets, sandwiches. Lunch features subs, burgers, sandwiches, grilled paninis, daily hot specials. Dine-in, carryout. B & L, Mon.Fri. 4807 N. Main St. 355-9111. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees like eggplant parmigiana, shrimp scampi. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-and-operated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch, served in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 6964001. $ SHARKY’S WINGS & GRILL A family-friendly restaurant with apps, burgers, subs & shrimp, plus 16 flavors of wings — get ’em in orders of 6-100. L & D, daily. 12400 Yellow Bluff Rd., Oceanway. 714-0995. $$ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield.

355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F This modern restaurant’s menu features popular favorites: salads, sandwiches and pizza, as well as fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main. Fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$

WINE LISTINGS

ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur.

9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Best of Jax 2010 winner.

Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur.

3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 CIRCLE JAPAN “Sake 101” 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 12192 Beach Blvd., Ste. 1, Southside, 710-5193 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GRAPE 5-7:30 p.m. every Wed.; 1-4 p.m. every Sat. 10281 Midtown Pkwy., Ste. 119, SJTC, 642-7111 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m., every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766 RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri.

48 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 330 A1A N., Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-5515 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur.

10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur.

320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900 ZAITOON MEDITERRANEAN GRILL 6-8 p.m., every first & third Wed. 13475 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 40, Intracoastal W., 221-7066

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The Not-So-Wild West

Tombstone, Ariz., site of legendary 1881 Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (made into a 1957 movie), is about 70 miles from a Tucson shopping center where a U.S. Congresswoman, a federal judge and others were shot in January. A Los Angeles Times dispatch later that month noted the “Wild West” of 1881 Tombstone had far stricter gun control than present-day Arizona. The historic gunfight occurred when the marshal (Virgil Earp, brother of Wyatt) tried to enforce the town’s no-carry law against local thugs. Today, though, with few restrictions and no licenses required, virtually any Arizonan 18 or older can carry a handgun openly, and those 21 and up can carry one concealed.

Leading Economic Indicator

The Romanian government, trying to make amends for historical persecution of fortunetelling “witches” and to collect more tax revenue, amended its labor law recently to legalize the profession. But “queen witch” Bratara Buzea, apparently speaking for many in the soothsaying business, told the Associated Press in February that official recognition may make witches legally responsible for future events actually beyond their control. Already, witches are said to be fighting back against the government with curses — hurling poisonous mandrake plants in the Danube River and casting a spell involving cat dung and a dead dog.

Compelling Explanations

British loyalist Michael Stone still claims it was all a misunderstanding, that he didn’t intend to assassinate Irish Republican Army political leaders in 2006, despite being arrested at the Northern Ireland legislature with knives, an ax, a garotte and a bag of explosives that included flammable liquids, gas canisters and fuses. He was later convicted, based on his detonating one explosive in the foyer and carrying the other devices into the hall to confront leaders, but he continued to insist he was only engaged in “performance art.” In January 2011, the Northern Ireland court of appeal rejected his claim.

Phyllis Stevens, 59, said she had no idea she’d embezzled nearly $6 million until her employer, Aviva USA, of Des Moines, Iowa, showed her the evidence. She said it must’ve been done by the “hundreds” of personalities created by her dissociative identity disorder (including “Robin,” caught trying to spend Stevens’ remaining money in Las Vegas just hours after the showdown with Aviva). Stevens and her spouse were spending lavishly, buying properties and contributing generously to political causes. As the “core person,” Stevens said she’ll accept responsibility but asked a federal judge for leniency. The prosecutor said Stevens is simply a thief.

Thomas Walkley, a Norton, Ohio, lawyer, was charged in January with indecent exposure, for pulling his pants down in front of two 19-year-old males. Walkley said he was just “mentoring” at-risk boys. He said it’s a technique he’d used with other troubled youths, especially the most difficult cases, by getting them “to think differently.” Said Walkley, “Radical times call for radical measures.”

Ironies

U.S. News & World Report magazine, and the National Council on Teacher Quality, announced plans recently to issue grades (A, B, C, D and F) on how well each of the U.S.’s 1,000-plus teachers’

For questions, please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN DATE: 030811 FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655

colleges develop future educators, but the teachers of teachers seem sharplyPROMISE opposed to OF the BENEFIT idea of being given “grades.” The project’s supporters cited school principals’ complaints about the quality of teachers applying for jobs, but the teachers’ college representatives criticized the project’s measurement criteria as too simplistic.

Police were out in force in September as schools opened in Toronto, writing 25 schoolzone speeding tickets in the first two hours. One of the 25 was issued to a school bus driver, caught speeding through a school zone trying to avoid being late at a pickup point farther down the road.

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The Litigious Society

Paul Mason, 50, an ex-letter-carrier in Ipswich, England, told reporters in January he’d file a lawsuit against Britain’s National Health Service for negligence, because it let him “grow” in recent years to nearly 900 pounds. Mason said he “begged” for NHS’s help in 1996 when he weighed 420, but was told to “ride your bike more.” Last year, he was finally allowed gastric surgery, which reduced him to his current 518. At his heaviest, Mason estimates he was consuming 20,000 calories a day.

Update

Life is improving for some Burmese Kayan women who, fleeing regular assaults by Myanmar’s military government soldiers, become valuable exhibits at tourist attractions in neighboring Thailand because of their tribal custom of wearing heavy metal rings around their necks from an early age. The metal stacks weigh 11 pounds or more and depress girls’ clavicles, giving them the appearance of having elongated necks, which the tribe (and many tourists) regard as exotic. While human rights activists scorn on these Thai “human zoos” of ringnecked women, a Nacogdoches, Texas, poultry plant recently began offering some women a more attractive choice — lose the rings and come work in Texas, de-boning chickens.

© 20

People With Issues

Though Mount Vernon, Ohio, police aren’t sure of motive, they know (according to records made public in February) murdererkidnapper Matthew Hoffman was arrested in November in a living room piled 3 feet high with leaves and a bathroom with 110 bags of leaves attached to the walls. Hoffman, an unemployed tree-trimmer, later confessed to the kidnap and rape of a 13-year-old girl (whom he kept in a basement on a pallet of leaves) and had stuffed the bodies of his three murder victims in a hollow tree. An expert on serial killers told ABC News that trees might have given Hoffman comfort, but police haven’t discounted that the leaves were there to help him later torch the house.

© 2010

Least Competent Criminals

Not Ready for Prime Time: Jose Demartinez, 35, was hospitalized in Manchester, N.H., in January. With police in pursuit, he climbed out a hotel window using tied-together bed sheets, but they came undone, and he fell four stories.

Kevin Funderburk, 25, was charged with sexual assault of a 71-year-old woman in her Hutchinson, Kan., home in December. By the time his mug shot was taken, he was in a neck brace — from the victim’s frying-pan-swinging defense.

Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 49

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CARD SHARK SEEKS QUEEN I see you almost every day as of late, at the single sailor center on base. Although I don’t play pool, we should definitely play spades or dominoes. You: cutest laugh, like to go running with that Army guy. Me: balding on top, cliché Naval mustache, usually go to bowling alley for chili dogs for lunch. When: Feb. 23, 2011. Where: Single Sailor Center. #1083-0308 I LIKE YOUR JACKET Saw your swagger on Adams Street with your big burly jacket and those masculine legs of yours beneath those tattered Abercrombie designed shorts. Your brunette silky hair was blowing in the wind and gave me a smile. Not sure which team you’re batting for. Let’s catch downtown wine together. When: Feb. 2, 2011. Where: Downtown. #1082-0308 YOU GOT A KING PENGUIN TATTOO You were on the stage at the Hyatt Hotel during a tattoo festival being judged on the new king penguin tattoo you had done on your side, such a different yet sweet idea. Me: Emo chick, blue hair, huge donkey, I saw you looking! I was your biggest cheerleader in the crowd hoping you would win so I could have an excuse to come talk to you and of course get a closer look. You should know that penguins have the same mate their whole lives, hit me up so I can add a couple eggs around those webbed feet! When: Jan. 29, 2011. Where: Hyatt Downtown. #1081-0308 KIDS TEMP, STARBUCKS RIVERSIDE I was at Starbucks Riverside with my mom. We laughed about the barista’s lack of concern for publicly preserving your tough, manly image. No need to be shy about your preference for lukewarm coffee. I have a feeling that preference doesn’t translate into the other facets of your life. p.s. Cute Ray Bans.

When: Feb. 25, 2011. Where: Starbucks Riverside. #1080-0308 ORTEGA RIVER RUN RACE PACKET While walking toward St. Mark’s Episcopal Day School, you asked me where to pick up your Ortega River Run packet. I showed you, and when you had it you found me and thanked me. Me: Black shorts, ‘10 Gate River Run shirt, talking with friend. You: Long brown hair, black shorts. I wish you hadn’t run away so quickly — would love to train with you sometime.

When: Feb. 26, 2011. Where: Ortega River Run. #1079-0308 LATE FOR CLASS We never really talked the first half of the semester, but you were always on my wavelength. Class never really started until we arrived. Now that I know you live down the street, I’m hoping you’ll stop by and bring your High Lifes and PBRs. Because I can tell that we are gonna be friends. When: Fall 2010. Where: FSCJ Kent Campus. #1076-0222 MAWGWII MADNESS ON SOUTHSIDE You: go by ‘Gizmo,’ breathtaking blue eyes, enigmatic smile, my heart in your hands. Me: 5 ft., dubbed your ‘Starshine.’

I am just as in love with you as I was three years ago and will always be yours. I hope one day you forgive me. Will you join me for conversation over coffee? When: Feb. 10, 2011.

Where: Southside. #1075-0222 I SAW YOU AT CRUISERS You were sitting with a group of ladies. Your brown sweater and glasses magnified your beautiful blue eyes. Your smile and laugh were contagious even from across the room. Let’s get together and share another order of French fries. #1074-0215 NINJA SEEKS ANGRY WOMAN I saw you at the garage across from the Modis building. I know you were upset because I accidentally jumped-kicked a guy into your car, but to be fair, you did slap me so hard I’m still feeling it today. Listen, I got your car fixed and I just can’t stop thinking about you. Meet me at Coggin Collision.

When: Feb. 1, 2011. Where: Top of parking garage downtown. #1073-0215 RED HAIRED FEMEEFETALE Watched you as you walk into your hotel, been catching secret glimpses of you while working we work our shifts.

You-beautiful long red hair, slender tight body with a booty, amazing smile. Wish you would appear on my hospital floor to say hi. you can have my heart, your so amazing. Me-dorky hospital care worker. in the Transplant unit. Mayo Clinic. Big white pickup truck. When: Jan. 26, 2011. Where: Marriot Courtyard @ Mayo Clinic. #1072-0208 TALL SVELTE BLONDE RIVERSIDE SNOW HUNNY 3,300 feet high on a mountain in a Patagonia snowsuit with two layers of North Face gloves and you still looked hot. I thought cabin fever was a bad thing until seeing you bathe in the kitchen. You were perfect; but I’m sorry for the frozen lock, rustic staircase, chick coffee, and the TSA confiscating your moonshine. Let me make it up to you by taking you from the top of the mountains to the depths of the sea. When: Jan. 19, 2011. Where: Riverside/Gatlinburg. #1071-0208

PIGEON-TOED QUEEN You had on a black dress with black heels. You were at Square One with your girl who has the same first name as you. We danced, we kissed. It felt like the best night of my life. You mentioned that you are pigeon-toed … we laughed.

I lost your number. When: Jan. 24, 2011. Where: Square One. #1070-0208 BLUE HEELS ON BROADWAY Saw u at Broadway Deli across from St. Lukes. YOU: brunette, white striped shirt, blue skirt, striking blue heels. ME: white shirt, gray slacks. Couldn’t take my eyes off you. Saw you grab a Folio Weekly, thought I’d take a chance. When: Lunchtime, Feb. 1, 2011. Where: Broadway Deli. #1069-0208 SEXY SAXIST SATURDAY NIGHT YOU: Your sultry lips creating magical notes and when you played the Jeopardy theme song, I knew it was meant to be.

ME: Corner table, salt-and-pepper hair, smiling the entire time. I spend a lot of time at Kosmics, when will I see you again? When: Jan. 22, 2011. Where: Kosmic Bluz. #10680201 HEY YOU, IN WALGREEN’S Saturday Night, you in tight blue jeans and very hot. I in my Adidas training gear, and looking very virile. You kept looking and I knew we should have spoken. When: Jan. 22, 2011.

Where: Walgreens. #1067-0201 SEXY SAILOR THAT STOLE MY HEART You: tall, dark and handsome Greek god. Me: short, awkward red head. Smiled at me as you left the bar chasing after your drunk girlfriend. Call me, I’m into that scene. When: Jan. 21, 2011. Where: Marks. #1066-0201 THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY

You-Man, Me-Woman. You were lost looking for your balls. You weren’t sure where you misplaced them. I gave you an idea on where to look but you were unable to reach. Maybe you should try an alternate route? :-) Not sure if you bat for my team or the other one but thought I’d take a chance ;). When: Jan. 2011.

Where: Jacksonville. #1065-0201 THOSE RED FRECKLES CAUGHT ME Hey there those sexy red freckles on ur shoulders made me blush. love to meet up so I can circle and give those freckles some attention. When: Jan. 21, 2011. Where Jax Library regency branch. #1064-0201 SAW YOU AT THE GYM LAST NIGHT You looked distressed, like something was on your mind. That furrowed brow was beautiful. Would you give me a chance to make you smile? Me-Man: You-Woman. When: Jan. 18, 2011.

Where: The Gym. #1063-0201 SWEET MODEL You: modelesk, heels, designer jeans, dark coat, healthy hair. You have the cutest nose. Me: Boots, jeans, hard hat, vest. You showed where the sugar is! Let’s have Starbucks and conversate. When: Jan. 10, 2011 @ 7:30 p.m. Where: Jax Gate @ 95 and Baymeadows. #1062-0125 NO TIME CAN BIND THIS Pockets fed with sand from nights among the beach, my heart in your hand. I lost it all in your voice at Rendezvous, blonde hair glaring my vision from the sight I’d soon often not see. Hard to grasp all I can do is wait with hands full of hope of you coming around. When: Jan. 5, 2011. Where: Rendezvous, #1061-0125 BLEEKER SEEKS HER JUNO

Sassy petite server at Tom & Betty’s who I said could be Ellen Page’s stunt double. I’d love to fly kites with some gin and tonic in hand. You told me your hamburger phone was out of order. Well babe, I know just how to fix it. Let me be your lady Bleeker? Dream Big! When: Jan. 7, 2011. Where: Tom & Betty’s on Roosevelt. #1059-0118 PLAYBOY BUNNY I saw you with a Bocefus-looking dog hanging out of the window of your Camry. You were wearing scrubs but otherwise looking like a Playboy bunny. I was in a truck with the candy paint selling George Foremans and I saw that look on your face. Only rasta free the people... Meet me at the park.

When: Jan. 4, 2011. Where: Hodges. #1058-0118 YOU KNEW MY NAME Getting pizza after hours and you knew my name, I was too dumbfounded to ask for yours. You had an amazing smile and were wearing a black dress and glasses. If we meet again, I’ll try not to be at a loss for words. When: Jan. 1, 2011. Where: Northstar Pizza and Subs. #1057-0118 DELLWOOD DELIGHT I used to see you at the Brick regularly but I never had the guts to talk to you; now I see you cruising around in your green BMW convertible frequently. You: short, thin and beautiful. Me: uncontrollably shouts “I love you” whenever I see you. Our houses share the same street; do we have anything else in common? When: Dec. 23, 2010. Where: Riverside. #1055-0111 IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY Green eyes and hair of gold. It was your birthday. You and a friend were having a good time shooting darts. Can’t stop thinking about you. When: Nov. 19, 2010. Where: Monkey’s Uncle San Jose Blvd. #1054-0111 BIBLICAL AND ATYPICAL You stopped me in my stumbling tracks, and only got a few words out before my friends pulled me away... I kept looking back at you as I left the bar, hoping you would follow.

Where were we? When: Dec. 31, 2010. Where: The Beaches. #1053-0111 STUNNING BRUNETTE W/ HIGHLIGHTS We met at Tinseltown on 12/08. We were both on dates and saw the movie “Unstoppable.” We talked at the bathrooms afterwards, you told me I had 15 secs to get your number but I was too slow. Our dates interrupted us.

You: Stunning beauty, big beautiful green eyes, dressed down but looking amazing. Me: Sweat pants and a hoodie.

Maybe we can get a movie together? Without the dates of course! When: Dec. 9, 2010. Where: Tinseltown Theatres. #1052-0104 HOW TO BE A VETERINARIAN You asked me to not tell anyone, but you want to be a vet. We talked a little bit after you rang me up and walked around the counter to talk to me some more. I should have ask for your number. If you’re single I’d love to talk to you again. What did I try to pay with or where do I work? When: Dec. 16, 2010.

Where: Larry’s on Westside. #1051-1228

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FreeWill Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Dear Mr. Astrologer: Like the god Prometheus, I stole fire from the gods and gave it to people who sometimes make awful use of it. As punishment, the gods chained me to a rock on the beach, and had an eagle fly in daily to eat my liver. Luckily, the liver grows back every night. Unluckily, the eagle always returns to devour it again. I’m used to it by now; it doesn’t hurt as much as it once did. But I’m still eager to get out of my predicament. Any suggestions? — Aries in Limbo.”

Dear Aries: Your rescue is scheduled for no later than your birthday, maybe before. In the meantime, the best thing to do to prepare for your release is to feel gratitude for all you’ve learned during your ordeal.

be manipulated or foolish. The best thing to do to help others? Cultivate your mental health with ingenuity, trusting in its radiant power to heal by example.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your meditation for this week is from writer H.P. Lovecraft. “What a man does for pay is of little significance. What he is, as a sensitive instrument responsive to the world’s beauty, is everything!” While that’s always good counsel, it’s especially apt now, since you’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when it’d be smart to evaluate your worth based less on what job you do and more on who you are. Practice this healing idea: The soulfulness you embody and express from moment to moment is the single greatest measure of your success as a human being.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Despite the wealth and renown he’s accumulated in his influential career, musician Brian Eno is a big fan of raw simplicity.

Speaking about R&B, soul music and psychedelia, he said, “These earlier eras of pop music were characterized not by the search for perfection but by bizarre enthusiasms, small budgets, erratic technique, crummy equipment and wild abandon.” Would you consider playing with that approach in the weeks ahead? It’s not something you should do all the time, but now I think it’s a formula for the most interesting kind of success.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): One of my favorite peculiarities about the English language is the idiosyncratic words it uses to characterize groups of specific animals. Like, the correct term for many owls gathered together isn’t “flock,” but “parliament”: a “parliament of owls.” Likewise, we say a “rabble of butterflies,” a “prickle of hedgehogs,” a “shrewdness of apes” and a “murder of crows.” If I had to come up with a comparable term for your tribe’s human members, it could be a “zeal of Geminis,” a “charm of Geminis” or a “romp of Geminis.” Those words capture part of the glory that’s you, especially the next few weeks.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Lotus roots are anchored in muck at the pond’s bottom. Its leaves float on the water, its dramatic flower rises above on a thick stem. It’s an evocative plant, featured in many ancient myths. For Buddhists, it was an emblem of enlightenment: beauty ascending from the mud. In India, a 1,000-petaled golden lotus symbolized the miracle of creation. To Egyptians, it represented rebirth. Even modern science is in on building the lotus’ mystique, having found its seeds remain viable for many centuries. It’s not a fragile marvel! In the 16thcentury Chinese folk tale “Monkey,” a teacher taught the hero how to achieve long life. “Even amid fierce flames,” he said, “the Golden Lotus can be planted.” For the foreseeable future, it’s your power object.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Picture a very complicated combination lock, one that requires dialing up eight different numbers to open,” writes Arianna Huffington.

“You have seven of the numbers, but the lock still won’t open until you hit upon that final number. One-eighth may not seem as ‘big’ as seven-eighths, but without the final click of the combination, the tumblers won’t fall into place.” Sound familiar? In my astrological opinion, you’ve dialed the first seven numbers but you don’t know the eighth; until you know it, the lock stays locked. Where to look for the missing info? It’s within your reach, and it wasn’t before.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the week ahead, it’s important to stay out of other people’s hells — even if they invite you in with a big welcome, even if you’re tempted to join them in their infernos as a misguided way of proving your love. Be compassionate, but don’t 52 | FOLIO WEEKLY | MARCH 8-14, 2011

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Two paradoxes are better than one,” said physicist Edward Teller. “They may even suggest a solution.” I hope this gives you a glimmer of appreciation for the sparkling contradictions that surround you. It’d be understandable if, up till now, you felt they were crazy-making stressors serving no good purpose. Now, maybe you’ll be motivated to stand on your head, cross your eyes and try to see how tangy riddles may be used to untangle each other.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Research Digest Blog asked eminent psychologists to write about “one nagging thing you still don’t understand about yourself.”

One expert wondered why he always overestimates how much work he can get done. Another pondered the fact that he falls prey to his own irrational biases even though he’s well aware he has them. A third said he can’t fathom why it’s so easy for him to learn some things and so hard to learn others. What’s your answer? It’s an excellent time, astrologically speaking, to see if you can get to the bottom of a truth about yourself that’s always eluded you.

(Read the story at: http://tinyurl.com/DontKnowYet.) CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I suspect you’ll be either spectacularly right or breathtakingly wrong in the days ahead. Which way it goes depends on if you’re observing and responding to the actual events unfolding before you, or more focused on images dancing around in your imagination. Of course it’s always a good idea to get your biases and projections out of the way so you can see life as it really is, but it’s especially crucial now. So much is contingent upon your ability to be acutely perceptive and crisply objective.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the old fairy tale, Rumpelstiltskin had the power to spin straw into gold.

That skill has a metaphorical resemblance to the wizardry you could pull off in the weeks ahead: transforming seemingly ordinary or worthless stuff into a valuable asset. Though your work may seem a bit miraculous and make some wonder if you’ve used hocus-pocus, the fact is, it may at times feel tedious or extremely demanding to you. Be gutsy in your mastery of the intricate details. I’ll be thinking of you as the Gritty Magician.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Good things may come to those who wait — but they’re mostly just the things left behind by those who hustle and bustle.” That was in the fortune cookie I got with my take-out Chinese food tonight. It happens to be a perfect fit for your current astrological omens, so I’m handing it over to you. In the week ahead, don’t sit patiently and watch how the trends ripen. I don’t think you should bide your time or be cautious in making a commitment. Be proactive — maybe even gung ho. Carpe the freaking diem.

Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com

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Director Kazan Overcooks Tool in “The Shining” British college entrance exams (or parking-garage ground floors) Harried bus. owner’s need Many a state name in D.C. Oversupply Advice to a cougher?

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You stay here Iffy stat in a storm Peeved Steady the arrow Film about boastful jerks?

Rag goo Doing mess prep Apply Pizarro’s prize Antoinette after hearing her fate?

Ended up with 1

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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

Buddy on TV Lots (of) Adams and Grant Answer to “What do you want on your BLT, Rocky?”

Nascar’s Yarborough Gen.-turned-pres.

And others, briefly Rascality “Facts ___ facts” Good, to Garcia Speed Wagons, e.g.

Author Auletta How you can tell where the candle was?

Face-care brand Escape-route city, in “Casablanca” Just right Missay, as lines Drink on draught “Heaven forbid!”

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Requires more than one, as to tango Try a get-hitched-quick scheme Stand up for (oneself) Wises (up) Vacations Big ___ (the drug industry) DOWN Looks awed Mo or Stew of Arizona Oversight Census datum “You go, ___!”

Tough item to get upstairs, typically “Tuesdays with ___” Last words of “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”

Jumpy Ladies of Lima Go fishing ___ approved Flying “Hah!” Olympic hurdles?

Some bow ties Org. that does patient work

6

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Solution to “Punjabbing” S R T A

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25 28

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Get Schooled!

A Legislative Action Guide on public education issues for the upcoming session

T

he Budget: “No more cuts; kids come first!” The refrain rang out repeatedly at the President’s Day rally at Jacksonville’s Metropolitan Park. About 300 parents, students, teachers and education advocates convened at the park’s outdoor soundstage to rally advocates against Gov. Rick Scott’s proposed $3.3 billion cuts in education.

Duval Superintendent Ed Pratt-Dannals was on hand to explain the impact of those cuts: $97 million, or about 10 percent of Duval County schools’ current budget. On Feb. 23, the Times-Union reported the first round of cuts — $17 million — may necessitate slashing art, music and PE at elementary schools, and going to a four-day school week. Duval officials had already cut transportation two years ago; they already shortened the high school day and limited high school credits; they cut social workers and psychologists — all in a county with an abysmal 66 percent on-time graduation rate.

The Bottom Line: Don’t be fooled by a governor who points to the recession as an excuse for education cuts with one hand, while offering the sweet elixir of property tax cuts on the other.

We’ve had conservative “slash-taxes-to-growbusiness” policies in place in this state for 12 years. To paraphrase Dr. Phil, “How’s that working for us?” Florida’s about as tax-friendly as a state gets — and she doesn’t need to offer developers incentives to build any more empty strip malls.

She needs to invest in educating her children.

Email Gov. Scott at flgov.com/contact-govscott/email-the-governor/ Then go to http:// bit.ly/Tallyreps to contact your lawmakers.

Better yet, email lawmakers directly through saveduvalschools.org, and tell them to reject the governor’s education budget proposal.

Unfunded Mandates: Duval estimates these “unfunded mandates” account for about $185.3 million in required district expenditures. The class size amendment is one of the largest of these, but others include the Jessica Lunsford Act (background checks) and rules regarding when we must replace textbooks.

The Bottom Line: Tell your lawmakers to suspend enforcement of these mandates — including class-size penalties — until the state can fully fund them.

Assessing the Cost of a “High Quality Public Education”: Jacksonville Rep. Mike Weinstein, the lone Republican from Northeast Florida who bucked last year’s controversial Senate Bill 6 on the House Floor, continues to demonstrate that he’s a friend to public education. Weinstein has filed a HB 565, which calls for the Office of Program Policy and Government Accountability (OPPAGA) to study the actual costs to fund the “high quality” public education the state Constitution demands.

Currently, we take what’s “available” in the state budget for education, and then divide it by the total number of public school students. Weinstein advocates, instead, pricing out the components of a high quality education, and adding them up.

In a press statement, Weinstein wrote “the bill will give the 67 local school boards some

level of confidence in future funding.” He noted that currently, “they are given no time to do any real long-range planning because of the constant distraction over budget shortfalls.”

Sen. Paula Dockery (R-Lakeland) has cosponsored the bill in the Senate, SB 992.

The Bottom Line: Contact your lawmakers and tell them Weinstein’s got the right idea. HB 565 is a great start to answering two questions Florida should’ve tackled long ago: What are the components of a high-quality education for each one of our children? And once identified, how much do these components cost?

Keeping Teens in School: Rep. Mia Jones (D-Jacksonville), also a staunch advocate for public education, has introduced a bill for a pilot program in Duval County that would essentially prohibit kids 16 to 18 years old from dropping out of school. HB 715 would require Duval County students between the ages of 16 and 18 who don’t regularly attend school “be subject to attendance and completion requirements.” For student advocates worried about students who leave school to escape bullying, the bill would require the district to identify a menu of other curriculum

SB 736 began as a way to align teacher pay with federal requirements for federal grants, particularly Race to the Top grants, which mandate that 50 percent of teacher evaluations rely on student gains data, including test scores. But SB 736 goes farther, allowing the state to fire any teacher “at will” — i.e., without cause, and without due process. (“Due process” protections require that teachers be fired for “just cause,” a protection some have confused with teacher tenure.)

The Bottom Line: With Florida poised to be ranked number 47 in the nation in teacher pay, our best and brightest college students likely won’t choose to stay in Florida to teach. Tell your lawmakers that due process protections should be part of any excellent teacher’s employment package.

Overt Anti-Union Legislation: One need only look to Wisconsin to know that conservatives have been whipping up recession frenzy to bust public sector unions. Florida’s “recession whip” uses this recipe: Wait until people are really hurting, including those who find themselves laid off from their private sector, non-union, corporate jobs. Carefully pour in ample measures of “the

Don’t be fooled by a governor who points to the recession as an excuse for education cuts. options. The bill has been co-sponsored by Sen. Wise (R-Jacksonville), in the form of SB 972. (It’s important to know that Rep. Charles McBurney introduced a similar bill three years ago. The bill failed twice, because lawmakers knew it would mean more students in the system, and therefore require more money. The bill has since evolved into a pilot program just for Jacksonville.)

The Bottom Line: Tell your lawmakers to pass this bill.

Voucher Schools: This reporter has expended numerous hours and gallons of ink explaining to readers why voucher schools aren’t the silver bullet conservatives say they are. Space limitations prohibit elaborating on that issue here. (see “Vouching for Vouchers,” courtesy of Folio Weekly, at www.Jaxpoliticsonline.com).

The Bottom Line: Tell your lawmakers that, at the very least, there ought to be a moratorium on expanding vouchers until voucher schools once again comply with statutes mandating comparison studies with public schools. Tell them to vote against HB 965/SB 1388, which would direct the Department of Revenue to help advertise the tax diversion to top corporate tax payers.

Teacher Merit Pay: The kinder, gentler version of last year’s highly controversial Senate Bill 6 — also known as “Son of Senate Bill 6” — has coasted through committees in both chambers of the legislature. The new bill number is SB 736, and a press release from sponsor Sen. Wise, Chairman of the Senate Pre-K-12 Education Committee, touts it as a collaborative effort.

politics of personal resentment” until a flavor emerges tasting something like this: “I don’t want anybody to get anything that I’m not getting even though I’ve never done any organizing work or collective bargaining in my life.”

Have anti-emetics handy when working people who attended the Tea Party to consume these concoctions awake the next morning to find their collective bargaining rights gone.

Sen. John Thrasher’s SB 830: If passed, this bill would end automatic payroll deductions for union membership among Florida’s workers, including teachers. This move would effectively decimate unions, and put a de facto end to collective bargaining in Florida. And more union-busting bills are being filed. One would give broad-based powers to sheriffs to resolve collective bargaining impasses, even though they also act as “management” in negotiations with police unions. And then there’s the move to require unions to enroll 50 percent plus one of all workers or face decertification.

The Bottom Line: Wake up and smell the coffee. Teachers and other union members are now fighting for their profession and their right to collectively bargain in this state. For now, Florida grants that right constitutionally. But Sen. Thrasher’s a very smart guy, so unless you act now, you can kiss your Florida collective bargaining rights goodbye.

Julie Delegal themail@folioweekly.com

Julie Delegal volunteers for Save Duval Schools and for the Duval County Council of PTAs, though the views in this story do not necessarily reflect those of either organization.

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly. com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly.

MARCH 8-14, 2011 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 55

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