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The city’s Christmas crackdown on OccupyJax proves the new administration offers only more of the same. p. 12 Readers respond to a pit bull owner’s account of her dog’s violent death. p. 4


2 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 3-9, 2012


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Volume 25 Number 40

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MAIL Readers react to a pit bull owner’s account of her dog’s violent death. p. 4

MOVIES David Fincher’s remake of “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” is one killer affair. p. 16

ON THE COVER Repeat air and water quality violator NAS Jax lands on a watch list of national polluters and repeat offenders. p. 6

Mission Accomplished: The latest installment in the Tom Cruise action franchise is a nice yearend cinematic surprise. p. 17

NEWS St. Augustine’s colonial history stands in the shadow of new, modern-scale construction. p. 9 BUZZ, BOUQUETS & BRICKBATS Local writer “defends” Michael Jackson in print. And Lil’ Wayne is an ideal UNF professor — at least for some students there. p. 6 I ♥ TELEVISION “Got a Hankerin’ for Ben Frank-er-lin” and other works of erotic fiction by TV columnist Wm.™ Steven Humphrey. p. 10

MUSIC New Orleans funk jazz masters Galactic orbit back to Northeast Florida. p. 20 AC Deathstrike commit crimes against heaviness and deliver high-octane innocence. p. 21 ARTS Five From Florida: A look at the Sunshine State’s worthiest literary byproducts. p. 28 NEWS OF THE WEIRD Homeland Security Snowcones. p. 38

SPORTSTALK An Open Letter to Shahid Khan. p. 11

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY Obsess freely, Aries! Run that four-minute mile, Cancer! Own your own universe, Aquarius! p. 40

MONEY JUNGLE The city’s Christmas crackdown on OccupyJax proves the new administration offers only more of the same. p. 12

BACKPAGE Recently discovered slave graves resurrect discussion on the origins of African Americans. p. 43

OUR PICKS Reasons to leave the house this week. p. 15

EDITOR’S NOTE p. 5 HAPPENINGS p. 31 DINING GUIDE p. 33 I SAW U p. 39 CLASSIFIEDS p. 41 JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 3


Locally Owned and Independent since 1987

Bull Session

Just read your Backpage Editorial, “Dog Daze” by Nikki Bynes (Dec. 29, 2011, http://bit.ly/ uDQYWk). As an avid bully breed and animal welfare advocate, I am compelled to comment. The story is no doubt tragic on many levels and the Jacksonville Sheriff ’s Office’s behavior is truly appalling. Though my heart bleeds for Ben, the prize-winning show dog who suffered, I think the saddest part is Capone’s story. The Bynes replaced him with the dog they really wanted,

Instead of waiting for an animal control officer to come pick up their unwanted ticking time bomb, I want to know why they couldn’t have responsibly driven him down the street to a veterinarian to be humanely euthanized. then to add insult to injury, they intentionally made the alpha dog “take a back seat,” setting the stage for this tragedy. If that wasn’t bad enough, after spending $2,000 on Baby Ben, they did not have the $3,000 for Capone’s much-needed surgery. Go figure! Instead of waiting for an animal control officer to come pick up their unwanted ticking time bomb, I want to know why they couldn’t have responsibly driven him down the street to a veterinarian to be humanely euthanized or, at the very least, driven him to Animal Care & Protective Services to be killed with taxpayer dollars. It’s bad enough that pets are routinely considered disposable; don’t expect an officer to help you do it. I am a “real dog lover” and I understand what Mrs. Bynes means when she states that she feels like she’s lost a child. Unfortunately, she’s not referring to her first dog, Capone (who I’m sure is also dead), only the one she displaced him with.

wanted to surrender him to Animal Care & Protective Services. For what? So that he could have been thrown in a cage, terrified and alone? To be gassed with several other unwanted dogs? After reading the article several times, it seems to me as if she was ready to “get rid” of Capone and that she was a little bit afraid of him in the first place. Mrs. Bynes, this is not because of Capone’s sickness or the fault of JSO. This is all because of your ignorance as a bully breed owner and your lack of responsibility in giving these dogs a safe haven to live in. If you knew that you had an aggressive dog, why didn’t you take the proper measures to assure safety for both? I feel sorry for you and especially your children for witnessing such a horrible event. But most of all I feel sorry for Ben and Capone. Don’t blame the breed, blame the ignorant, irresponsible owners. Monica Long Macclenny via email

If I owned a $2,000 dog, I would never let it and a pit bull be together. Nor would I expect police officers to know the difference between a pit bull and a young, large American Bully — who, incidentally is also a persistent fighter. Both dogs can and do act unpredictably. I am amazed that anyone would let either dog near their young children! Howard Wilkerson Via email

OMG, don’t the police have to abide by the same animal anti-cruelty laws we are required to? I volunteer with S.A.F.E. (Saving Animals From Euthanasia) and have encountered horrific animal cruelty cases, but this truly tops them all. I am certainly hoping that the officers who participated in this atrocity are punished to the fullest extent of the law they have taken an oath to uphold. My sincerest sympathy to Bynes family. I cannot image the horror of what you have been through and hope time will help to heal your pain. Please, Folio Weekly, do a followup to this story. I am certain that, like me, many of your readers will be anticipating the outcome of this case.

Brandi McGrath Via email

I am a dog lover. I own a 9-year-old rescued pit bull, Travis. Each one of my three brothers own one pit bull and my parents own two. All are rescues. With this being said, we are also very responsible pit bull owners. I have sympathy for Mrs. Bynes and her family. Travis is part of my family and my 6-yearold son’s best friend. If he was to die, especially in such a horrific way, we would be devastated. This is my issue. Mrs. Bynes is ignorant. It’s people like her that make owning this breed hard. If she knew that her dog, Capone, was sick and suffering and that she couldn’t afford surgery, why did she not take him to her vet (assuming she has one) and have him put down? That would have been the right and humane thing to do. Instead, she

Kathryn Hawkins Via email

Hog Heaven

Kudos to M.H. Myers for his insightful “Hog Wild” piece (Cover Story, Nov. 29), which was hopefully an eye-opener to the “newly” entitled and developed. Without saying anything more, I remember my commute into downtown Jacksonville the very day (and weeks and years after) JTB opened, dodging boars, fox, deer and one unfortunate brown bear. Well, for gosh sakes, now you dodge texters, serial flossers and anything but related to anything that ain’t bin run outta town by urbane sprawl. Earth to God ... forgive us!  Tom Nuijens Neptune Beach via email

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Folio Weekly is published every Tuesday throughout Northeast Florida. It contains opinions of contributing writers that are not necessarily the opinion of this publication. Folio Weekly welcomes both editorial and photographic contributions. Calendar information must be received three weeks in advance of event date. Copyright © Folio Publishing, Inc. 2012. All rights reserved. Advertising rates and information are available on request. An advertiser purchases right of publication only. One free copy per person. Additional copies and back issues are $1 each at the office or $4 by mail, based on availability. First Class mail subscriptions are $48 for 13 weeks, $96 for 26 weeks and $189 for 52 weeks. Please recycle Folio Weekly. Folio Weekly is printed on recycled paper using soy-based inks. 44,200 press run • Audited weekly readership 127,212


Sins of Commission

A scathing audit of the Jacksonville Economic Development Commission exposes an agency without controls, accountability or restraint

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t was no virgin birth. The Jacksonville Economic Development Commission was spawned during an orgy of corporate welfare the likes of which would put Ron Jeremy to shame. The creation of the agency, by then-Mayor John Delaney, was designed to apply both control and focus to the practice of handing out cash to businesses, either to lure them to town or persuade them to stay. The creation of the JEDC was not intended to stop the giveaways — god no. In fact, the agency was conveniently created right before one of the largest and most controversial incentives packages, a $21 million gift to a

While the city gave money and tax breaks in exchange for the promise of new jobs, the JEDC did almost nothing to ensure that the companies delivered on their promises. JEDC didn’t ask for data, didn’t check that it was accurate, and didn’t punish companies that got sideways on their promises. The JEDC’s failure was compounded by something else — arrogance? institutional paralysis? simple disregard? The audit doesn’t say. But the fact is that, when notified about the failings, JEDC officials didn’t bother to address auditors’ concerns, much less rebut them. According to Council Auditor Kirk Sherman, the JEDC initially didn’t respond

Quarterly reports and annual audits are reasonable and customary in the business world, and those of us footing the bill for the city’s courtship rituals deserve at least that level of accountability. hotel (of all things), a deal that JEDC was instrumental in orchestrating. But the creation of a one-stop incentives shop was supposed to at least create a pinchpoint in the flow of taxpayer dollars — a place businesses could tap for handouts, certainly; but also a place where the city could extract accountability for dollars spent. If the JEDC brought the City Council an incentives package, it was expected that the deal spell out exactly what the city was to get in return — how many jobs, at what pay scale, with what economic benefit. JEDC was great at crafting those contracts. It just wasn’t any good at enforcing them. As a City Council audit released Dec. 21 shows, the agency was astonishingly inept at even basic administrative functions — cashing checks, calculating incentive payments, or requiring tenants to sign leases within a decade of moving in. The audit looked at three simple metrics: whether the JEDC properly administered incentives deals, whether it monitored Cecil Field tenant operations (which are under JEDC’s purview), and whether it deposited revenues in an accurate and timely manner. On all three counts, auditors delivered a resounding #fail. Though the audit barely scratched the surface of JEDC operations, examining just three years of its almost two decades of existence, it uncovered hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of errors, uncollected revenues and outright waste. (Among the highlights: Taxpayers reimbursed a Cecil Field maintenance contractor for “decorative brass eggs,” Walmart frappucinos and 39 weeks of a Florida Times-Union subscription.) Not only did the JEDC fail to track money, it failed to track job creation — the only reason the city provided incentives in the first place.

to the draft audit, presented in July. When pressed, agency officials offered answers that Sherman calls frankly “misleading” — to the point that he refused to include them in the final audit. That silence has persisted since the release of the document. Recently ousted JEDC Executive Director Ron Barton refused to discuss the audit. So did acting Executive Director Paul Crawford and former Mayor John Peyton. And since the very future of the JEDC is in question — Mayor Alvin Brown has proposed abolishing it and replacing it with a different agency that reports directly to him — it seems all but certain that nobody will ever have to answer for it. There may be no official punishment for what occurred at JEDC, but the Brown Administration shouldn’t mistake it as a problem unique to past administrations. Luring business to town is the job of a salesman, not an auditor; and just as a prenup puts romance in deep freeze, so does asking the “incentives” dangler to play enforcer. Knowing this, the mayor must take specific, discrete and very public steps to force transparency and accountability from his economic development staff. Simply asking whatever agency replaces the JEDC to “report to” the mayor doesn’t cut it. Quarterly reports and annual audits are reasonable and customary in the business world, and those of us footing the bill for the city’s courtship rituals deserve at least that level of accountability. Jacksonville taxpayers don’t demand that economic development be chaste, or even sleaze-free. But it had better produce outcomes that don’t leave us feeling quite so dirty.  Anne Schindler themail@folioweekly.com

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 5


Walter Coker

Regal Defense “Michael Jackson’s work, life and his ‘troubles’ are not what you thought they were. Jackson was used and abused relentlessly by a media gone mad. Learn the truth of who Michael Jackson really was as we take a look at the story behind the myth.” — Jacksonville author Karen Moriarty, on a website promoting her new book, “Defending A King~His Life & Legacy,” a sympathetic portrait of the pop star. Books are available at defendingaking.com

Naval Air Station Jax environmental director Kevin Gartland stands at the entrance to the blasting booth that was the source for the Clean Air Act violation that landed it on the EPA’s Watch LIst.

Remembering Zora A documentary about Florida author, folklorist and anthropologist Zora Neale Hurston will be screened at Amelia Island Museum of History as part of its Year of the Women celebration. Hurston was a celebrated figure in the Harlem Renaissance who made frequent stops in Jacksonville when she worked on the WPA’s Federal Writers’ Project. One of her most celebrated novels, “Their Eyes Were Watching God,” is set near Lake Okeechobee during the 1928 hurricane. The documentary on Hurston, by filmmaker Kristy Andersen, screens at 6 p.m. on Jan. 13 at the museum, 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach. ameliamuseum.org

Class Acts Jesus and Albert Einstein — Tied for first place in a poll taken by the University of North Florida’s student newspaper, The Spinnaker, asking who would be the ideal college professor. Rapper Lil’ Wayne came in third, followed by Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen and Ben Franklin.

Artistic Appreciation Last week’s Person of the Year cover was designed by Jacksonville artist Patrick Golden, executive creative directory at the Burdette Ketchum agency. To watch a short video with Golden about the making of the cover, go to FolioWeekly.com

“No More Peek-a-boob” Slogan for new Jacksonville business selling the “No Show” Active Top, a sports bra-like item designed to be worn over a bikini top when swimming or playing, and easily removed. The tops are available at solisactive.com 6 | folio weekly | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

Blast from the Past

Repeat air and water quality violator NAS Jax lands on a watch list of national polluters and repeat offenders

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acksonville isn’t covered in a smelly fog like Tonnawanda, N.Y. or coated with a black mist like Ponca City, Okla. But like those cities, Jacksonville is home to a polluter that’s on a list of chronic or serious violators of the U.S. Clean Air Act. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency considers 464 facilities so problematic that they were placed on an internal “Watch List” created under the Bush Administration in 2004. The Watch List was a secret document until the EPA published it on its website in the fall of 2011, in response to a Freedom of Information request from National Public Radio and the Center for Public Integrity. EPA has used the Watch List since 2004 to identify what it describes as “recidivist and chronically noncomplying facilities.” A site is added to the Watch List if nine months pass after a Clean Air Act violation occurs without any enforcement action. Naval Air Station Jacksonville is not only on the Watch List, it’s one of 1,600 sites that EPA says has committed “High Priority Violations” of the Clean Air Act, or violations that demand urgent action. NAS Jax is the only site in Northeast Florida on both lists, and one of just four sites in the entire state. EPA cautions that landing on the list doesn’t mean that a facility has poisoned the air around it, or even necessarily resisted enforcement action. Some Watch List violators are the worst polluters in the country, to be sure, but others are breaking rules in ways that don’t endanger human lives. Indeed, the existence of the EPA’s list of chronic polluters may be as much evidence of the weakness of the Clean Air Act as it is an indictment of the facilities on the list. Twenty-one years after the act was supposedly strengthened, industries in the U.S. still expose the people who live near them to dangerous concentrations of hazardous chemicals. The Watch List shows how little is done to curtail or punish those who violate the terms of their permits. Some facilities identified as committing High Priority Violations have been on the list for more than

10 years. And since the EPA relies almost exclusively on industry self-reporting of violations, most incidents have literally gone up in smoke before regulators respond. In the case of NAS Jacksonville, the violation that landed the facility on the Watch List was a failure to secure needed permits, not one in which it was emitting pollution far beyond what existing permits allowed. In May 2009, one of the commands at the base sandblasted paint off the rivets of an airplane wing in a blasting booth not permitted for wing work. Base environmental director Kevin Gartland says there were no hazardous emissions, but he acknowledges NAS Jax didn’t seek or receive the required permits. The command center also failed to keep a record of when the sandblasting booth was fired up and for how

NAS Jax is the only site in Northeast Florida and one of just four sites in the entire state on both the EPA’s Watch List and its list of High Priority Violations. long, the metrics that EPA uses to estimate emissions. According to correspondence from the enforcement file, a supervising officer first raised questions with EPA when he saw the blasting facility was being used for airplane wings. When he discovered that additional permits were needed in May 2009, Gartland says, the operation was immediately halted and additional permits were sought and secured. Gartland had no explanation for why EPA hasn’t issued fines or punishments in the case over the past two-and-a-half years, other than to suggest that it wasn’t a priority. “I believe because it was such a minor issue, it

went to the bottom of the stack,” Gartland offers. “We immediately stopped it and self-reported.” But the fact that the 2009 violation landed NAS Jax on the Watch List is due at least in part because it came on the heels of a more serious 2004 Clean Air Act violation. In that case, the Navy was firing up a blasting booth for the first time. During its test run, the booth is required to report actual versus permitted emissions. The NAS Jax booth was permitted to release three pounds of particulate matter per hour, but released twice as much — six pounds per hour. While awaiting test results from that initial run, the Navy fired up the blaster five more times — emitting more than 42 pounds of particulate matter into the atmosphere. NAS Jacksonville paid a civil penalty of $20,800 and was to complete an environmental project, at a cost of $93,100, to install a finer filtration system. The size and intensity of that violation was the reason state regulators turned enforcement on the 2009 case over to EPA and recommended that NAS Jacksonville continue to be listed on the High Priority Violations List. NAS Jacksonville is the largest Naval base in the Southeast U.S. and the third largest in the nation — 25,000 acres that include aircraft maintenance and repair facilities, a master station for marine work, a Naval hospital, dormitories, a fleet readiness center and pilot training facilities. The site is also on the EPA’s National Priority List — a list of contaminated sites scheduled for cleanup, often subsidized by the so-called “Superfund” — and the Navy is overseeing eight related cleanups just at NAS Jax. The sites contain at least 55 hazardous contaminants that have polluted the groundwater, soil and river sediments. NAS Jacksonville has run into the most trouble from its repeated violations of the Clean Water Act. This past October alone, the Navy had three spills that required cleanup — two rather small (8 ounces of diesel fuel and 50 gallons of sea dye marker) and one fairly large (200 gallons of diesel fuel spilled at a loading dock). Between October and December ’08, the facility’s wastewater discharge exceeded federal


chlorine limits 60 percent of the time. The Navy did sediment borings in the St. Johns River to determine the extent of chlorine contamination from its wastewater treatment plant. A web of trenches was also discovered under one of the older buildings, where runoff from airplane painting operations and wastewater overflows washed before seeping into the groundwater and making its way into the storm drains and into the river. The combined violations resulted in more than $300,000 in fines from EPA, and an order to reduce the levels of copper and chlorine in the facility’s wastewater discharge. In lieu of paying the fines, NAS Jax will invest in a large-scale water recycling system to handle the 800,000 gallons of wastewater the base produces daily. The sewage will be treated to a slightly higher standard than is currently used, then pumped to the Timuquana Country Club and the Naval Air Station Jacksonville Golf Club, as well as to the grounds of NAS Jacksonville, for

irrigation. Gartland says that the base will have zero wastewater discharge by 2014. While wastewater violations aren’t a cause to celebrate, the result will be a net good for the environment, according to St. Johns Riverkeeper Neil Armingeon. NAS Jacksonville is the first large facility to commit to zero wastewater discharge in Duval County. “That kind of thinking is what we’ve all got to have to move forward,” he says. “Fixing what’s wrong with the river will not be quick or cheap, but if you start and continue to make progress, eventually we will see some benefits.”  Susan Cooper Eastman sceastman@folioweekly.com

NPR and the Center for Public Integrity recently ran a four-part series, based on the Watch List and the list of High Priority Violations, “Poisoned Places: Toxic Air, Neglected Communities.” The Center for Public Integrity posted additional coverage on its website iWatchnews.org.

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Beach Boulevard, Jacksonville, December 14

Brickbats to Duval County Circuit Court Judge James H. Daniel for issuing a ruling bound to have a chilling effect on anyone seeking to pursue a public records claim in the courts. Daniel ruled that the Jacksonville Police and Fire Pension Fund overcharged activist Curtis Lee when he asked to review pension fund financial records, but the judge has refused to force the fund to pay Lee’s substantial legal fees, saying the city made “honest, technical mistakes.” There is nothing in Florida’s Public Record law that exempts an agency’s “mistakes,” but Daniel’s ruling seems certain to open the door to similar excuses in the future. Bouquets to electrician Charlie Alderman for bringing the Christmas spirit to the intersection of Park and King streets in Riverside. The Park and King Area Association didn’t have the wherewithal to decorate the center of the booming business district, so Alderman of Alderman Electric volunteered to do it himself. He obtained a self-propelled lift and enlisted the help of a friend to run it while he hung 80 holiday banners and candy canes across the intersection. He also offered to fix the arms of 20 poles at Park and King streets, which he discovered were broken when he hung the decorations. Brickbats to the city of Jacksonville and Deputy General Counsel Howard Maltz for escalating tensions with a group of Occupy Jacksonville protesters who’ve staked out a spot in front of City Hall since Nov. 5. At a time when it would be least noticed — three days before Christmas — Maltz sent a letter telling the group to remove its signs and supplies from the area or they’d be confiscated. The city previously cut power supplies to the group. Occupy Jacksonville responded last week with a federal lawsuit alleging the city violated their First Amendment rights. JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 7

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— Jacksonville’s national ranking in DUI offenses. Only San Diego, Los Angeles and Indianapolis have a higher percentage of DUI citations, according to an Insurance. com analysis of the 20 largest cities in the United States.

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Twelve Tribes told the St. Augustine Record Sales Rep re they do for entertainment while aboard the Peacemaker, the 150-foot wooden sailboat they call home. The vessel anchored in the Matanzas River near the Bridge of Lions on Dec. 26 because it developed fuel problems after it left Savannah. The mission of the group, one member said, is to “Go around promoting good will.” Next stop: Pensacola.

“It’s almost like saying, ‘How many times are we going to build this place?’ ” — Nassau County Commissioner Steve Kelley, grousing over the realization that the cooling system in the county’s new Emergency Center isn’t powerful enough to protect the center’s computer bank. With an estimate of some $65,000 to replace it, commissioners threatened to sue the contractor.

Laying It Down 12th — Position where four members of the Nassau County 4-H and one member of the Duval 4-H clubs landed while competing on Florida’s behalf in the National Poultry Judging Competition in Louisville, Ky. The group identified poultry parts, ranked hens by egg production, graded eggs by candling and broke the egg from the shell. The team also ranked seventh in the Avian Bowl quiz.

Pick Up and Move That was the message that city attorneys sent to Occupy Jacksonville on Dec. 22. In a letter to the group, which has been occupying the sidewalk in front of City Hall since Nov. 5, Deputy General Counsel Howard M. Maltz said the group’s signs and gear violated city codes and needed to be removed by Dec. 27. He also asked them to refrain from chalking messages on the sidewalk. Occupy Jacksonville responded with a lawsuit filed in federal court on Dec. 27, asking for a temporary injunction while the courts determined if city was violating the group’s First Amendment rights.

© 2012

8 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

FolioWeekly


News Walter Coker

Once a visual and historic landmark, the old gates to the Ancient City are now overwhelmed by the two- and three-story buildings behind them.

Old and In the Way

St. Augustine’s colonial history stands in the shadow of new, modern-scale construction

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wenty years ago, the old gates to the Ancient City were a visual and historic landmark. Today, tourists are likely as not to simply pass by the coquina sentries, which are overwhelmed by the two- and three-story buildings looming behind them. The new construction resembles colonial architecture in some respects, but the size of the buildings dwarfs true colonial scale. And it is the height of those buildings that has St. Augustine resident and retired Flagler College art professor Robert Hall sounding the alarm. In truth, Hall has been sounding the alarm for the past 38 years. He has long advocated that the city restrict development in its core to only 18th-century Spanish Colonial-style architecture. Hall has so often spoken on the subject to the Historic St. Augustine Preservation Board and the St. Augustine City Commission, he’s literally been told to “go away.” Instead of opting for small-scale buildings and strict adherence to the architectural styles of the 18th Century, Hall says, the city has allowed property owners to do what they wanted, as long as their buildings had a historic flair. The result, he says, is architectural fakery no better than Disney World. “Commercial pressure has always been a problem in this town,” he says. “Everyone wants to enlarge their business, enlarge their home, put another story on it, put another building next to it. As a result … the buildings are not the correct scale. They’re not on the correct foundation. They’re just fake.” Hall is not quite ready to give up, however. He recently rewrote and self-published a 106page booklet of research and commentary, “St. Augustine: Historical or Hysterical?” While Hall admits that he’s failed all these years to communicate the importance of establishing and following a set of historically appropriate architectural guidelines, he’s hopeful the

booklet will have some effect. On the eve of the city’s 450th anniversary, he says, only isolated examples of Colonial architecture remain, including those in the Spanish Quarter, a few buildings on St. George Street and elsewhere. To Hall, it’s a tremendous lost opportunity. “These are the places where people want to come to when they visit St. Augustine,” he says of the Spanish Quarter. “They say, ‘Ooooh, this looks real,’ ” says Hall. “Instead, we’ve got a lot of fake material and misguided efforts.” Hall points to a laundry list of buildings that offend his sense of how St. Augustine should have evolved — from the building of the Columbia Restaurant in the 1970s to the

State University. After graduating with a degree in art, he secured a position at Flagler College, moved to St. Augustine and immersed himself in its history. He bought the Triay House at 29 St. George St., originally built by Minorcan settler Francisco Triay, constructed between 1768 and 1790, and reconstructed in 1963. He joined the Historic Florida Militia and performed as a re-enactor during city’s 400th anniversary in 1964 and during the Bicentennial in 1976, as well as during other events. Though a city as old as St. Augustine is bound to lose buildings to age, Hall believes the biggest threat to the city’s appearance is the modern demand for bigger and “better.”

“Everyone wants to enlarge their business, enlarge their home, put another story on it, put another building next to it,” says Robert Hall. “As a result … the buildings are not the correct scale. They’re just fake.” recent construction of a Hilton Hotel between Charlotte Street and Avenida Menendez, and the new two-storied balconied building behind the Old City Gates. Although the city’s Architectural Guidelines for Historical Preservation specifies that new construction, “whenever practical, should follow old foundation lines in order to preserve the original scale and pattern,” all three buildings are way out of scale for an 18thcentury town, and were erected without regard for the building techniques and materials from that era. “No one felt the need to do it correctly,” Hall says. “And this is the one place in the country where we need to do it correctly.” Hall first visited St. Augustine in 1961 to participate in an archeological dig with Florida

Not that Hall objects to the appearance of the new buildings. Next to the Old City Gates and a new three-story balconied inn, he points out, there is an attractive plaza with a fountain and spots for people to sit. It’s lovely, admits Hall, but all wrong. “It would be very nice in Palm Beach or Sarasota,” says Hall. “It has that nice ambience or rich feel. It’s a nice little area, but the trouble is that it is nothing like what was ever here in the 18th century.” Finally, he asks the residents of St. Augustine to be good stewards of its history. “We have had a National Treasure handed to us,” Hall writes in his booklet. “What in the world are we doing?”  Susan Cooper Eastman themail@folioweekly.com

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 9


THE AddISON ON AmElIA ISlANd The Addison is a disinctive historic property in the heart of Fernandina. The original 1870s antebellum house features sunny en-suite rooms, the majority overlooking a private fountain courtyard. Many have spacious whirlpools and several feature individual private porches. This intimate retreat caters to your every need, whether it be a gourmet breakfast, an individually prepared picnic or afternoon refreshment, or the simple luxury of allowing you to sit back, relax, and watch the world go by slowly on your own porch.

614 Ash Street • (904) 277-1604 www.addisononamelia.com

THE FAIRBANKS HOUSE

Elegant 1885 Italianate villa. Luxury-class inn with upscale amenities. Large rooms, suites, private cottages, Jacuzzis, fireplaces. Gourmet breakfast, evening social hour. Romance Packages, Girls Getaway. Smoke-free!

227 South 7th Street • (904) 277-0500 www.fairbankshouse.com

THE ElIZABETH POINTE lOdGE AmElIA ISlANd The Pointe is situated on the beach overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. Focusing upon individualized attention with a staff that wants to exceed your expectations, The Pointe offers a complimentary full breakfast, Wi-Fi, beach equipment, a morning newspaper and parking. Room service and concierge assistance are available 24 hours. And it’s only a short bike ride to the historic seaport of Fernandina. Custom packages available.

98 South Fletcher Avenue • (800) 772-3359 info@elizabethpointelodge.com

AmElIA ISlANd WIllIAmS HOUSE

Beautiful antebellum Inn with spacious guest rooms boasting the modern amenities guests love while safekeeping the old world charm. Romantic working fireplaces, antiques from around the world, private baths, whirlpool tubs, spa robes and fresh flowers are a few of the luxuries you may expect. Enjoy our beautifully landscaped gardens, fountains and our sweeping verandahs. Feast on a delicious gourmet breakfast each morning and sip wine ‘neath 500-year-old oak trees. All your worries will drift away.

103 S. 9th Street • (904) 277-2328 www.williamshouse.com

HOYT HOUSE

Hoyt House Bed & Breakfast Inn, built in 1905, is an intimate, elegant and luxurious boutique hotel that will exceed your expectations with five-star amenities, top-shelf breakfast and exceptional customer service. We offer: • 10 En-Suite Guest Chambers • Located in the Historic District • 3-Course Gourmet Breakfast • English Tea Wed.-Sun. 12:30-3p.m. • Heated Pool & Spa • Amelia Lounge & Bar • Complimentary Bicycles • Complimentary Cocktail Hour • Secure off-street Parking • Weddings & Meetings Welcome

804 Atlantic Avenue • (904) 277-4300 www.hoythouse.com

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville.

10 | folio weekly | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

Year of the Dry Bone W

elcome to 2012 — and I’ve got another New Years’ resolution to add to your list. I think you need to do a better job at expressing affection — primarily toward me. This can be accomplished several ways: 1) Erotic poetry and/or fan fiction. Send me more erotic poetry or, if you have trouble rhyming, simply write some lengthy erotic fan fiction involving me dry boning a historical character. Here’s a sample from my erotic fan fiction novel, “Got a Hankerin’ for Ben Frank-er-lin”: “Ben Franklin felt lonely as he stepped out of the shower. Rubbing the rough towel over his moist naked body, he was struck by the realization he hadn’t felt the soft caressing touch of a lover since that cold, cold winter he dry boned Betsy Ross. Suddenly … the bathroom door flew open. It was Wm.™ Steven Humphrey dressed as a British Redcoat! “Ha-Haaa!” Humphrey noisily purred, his groin pulsating with sexual intent. ‘Methinks a certain founding father is in need of a patriotic dry boning!’” (AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’m not sure why I think the term “dry boning” is sexy.) Anyway! Where were we … oh! Your lack of affection, and how I could profit from more of

How am I supposed to continue this relationship when you steadfastly refuse to feed me emotionally? Sure, the dry boning is great … but when are you going to start dry boning my soul? it. 2) One can also express affection by doing “little things” that make me happy. Such as paying my rent for a year. Um … DO YOU LOVE ME OR NOT?!? See? This is exactly what I’m talking about! How am I supposed to continue this relationship when you steadfastly refuse to feed me emotionally? (And monetarily! And physically! With sandwiches!) Sure, the dry boning is great … but when are you going to start dry boning my soul? All right. It’s obvious you need more emotional growth. So while you focus on that, I’ll check out a few new TV shows debuting this week: • “The Firm” (NBC, Sun., Jan. 8, 9 p.m.) Based on John Grisham’s thriller novel, then a flick starring Tom Cruise, the action takes place 10 years after lead man Mitch McDeere and his wife go into witness protection. Unfortunately, Tricia Helfer (No. Six from BSG) is now in charge of the law firm and wants McDeere McDEAD. (Sounds like he could use a boost in the “affection department” too.) • “Are You There, Chelsea?” (NBC, Wed., Jan. 11, 8:30 p.m.) Based on the disposable coffee-table book “Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea” by not-so-nice talk show host Chelsea Handler, this sitcom stars sort-of-hot Laura “That ‘70s Show” Prepon as a young Chelsea Handler, while the real Chelsea plays

her pregnant older sister. This sounds like erotic fan fiction I don’t wanna read. • “House of Lies” (Showtime, Sun., Jan. 8, 10 p.m.) Based on yet ANOTHER book (this time by Martin Kihn), Don Cheadle (EEEE!), Kristen Bell (EEEE!) and JeanRalphio from “Parks & Recreation” (EEEE?) make up a megawatt management consultant firm making big bux selling top companies a load of poop. This show looks dark, hilarious and definitely dry boneable. (2012 RESOLUTION: I swear I will never use that term again.)

TUESDAY, JANUARY 3 8:30 ABC WORK IT! Debut! Two bros dress up as women to get jobs. Misogyny — and the inability to get a single laugh — ensue. 9:00 ABC WIFE SWAP Batpoop-crazy Gary Busey and gay-shamed pastor Ted Haggard trade wives! (OMIGOD! I never want to stop watching this!!)

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4 10:00 ABC REVENGE Emily launches a sneaky new plan to take down Victoria, because … you know … REVENGE!! 10:00 A&E STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN Season premiere! Seagal is accused of killing a puppy. In his defense, it was a weenie dog.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 5 9:00 LIF PROJECT RUNWAY ALL STARS Debut! Former “Project Runway” contestants (losers) return to lose again! 10:00 MTV JERSEY SHORE Snooki and the gang return to their television birthplace … whether New Jersey likes it or not.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 6 9:00 CW SUPERNATURAL Sam babysits the daughter of a demon hunter — and is paid less than minimum wage?? 10:00 IFC PORTLANDIA Season premiere! Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein are back with more whimsical hipster “comedy.”

SATURDAY, JANUARY 7 9:00 ABC NEW HAMPSHIRE GOP DEBATE Watch and howl with glee as the most insane lineup of Republicans EVER cram their feet in their mouths.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 8 10:00 BBCA ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS 20TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL Patsy and Edina return to skewer current pop culture. (Like maybe Kim Kardashian? Hmmm?) 10:00 SHOW HOUSE OF LIES Debut! Don Cheadle and Kristen Bell star in this devilishly funny/sexy parody of management consultants.

MONDAY, JANUARY 9 8:00 ABC THE BACHELOR This week’s test: Ben asks the bachelorettes to list their sexually transmitted diseases (starting with the most recent). 10:00 MTV CAGED Debut! Teens try to break out of their small town by becoming MMA fighters. Or barring that, Broadway dancers! 


Sportstalk

Khan I Kick It?

An Open Letter to Shahid Khan

“F

ootball season is over.” These words, from Hunter Thompson’s suicide note, are laden with meaning. When Thompson wrote them, he was saying that the joy of his life had long since passed. Most of you reading this aren’t in such dire circumstances as the Gonzo scribe before he took his own life. Most of you see the words for what they are. The season is over. For the Jags and Cards. The Vikes and Bills. The Bucs and Fins. The dreams of August — of what would happen if all went right during the season — incinerated like so many other false hopes. Just as we might move for a job or enlist in the military, hoping against hope that the sour trajectory of our lives will sweeten as if infused with a booster shot of HFCS, our football heroes hoped or

This is basically an expansion team you bought. You know this. You have WRs who couldn’t catch a pass from a nympho on Red Bull, vodka and E. thought that, in the words of Howard Jones, things could only get better. Ask David Garrard (on Twitter now) or Jack Del Rio how it worked out. Like the ads used to say about contests: “Many will enter, few will win.” One winner this year: Wayne Weaver. Sold his team for an exponential profit, mere months after getting a sweetheart deal from the Peyton Administration that allowed him to pocket $4M of taxpayer money. Nothing new here. Weaver supped at the public trough like a fat kid at a Golden Corral buffet. His approach was rooted in our local inferiority complex. We needed the Jags to be a major league city. Et al. So he and his buddies jacked the food from the mouths of the poor. NBD; just bidness, right? Wayne is paid and gone, leaving the team to you, Mr. Khan. Undoubtedly you want my advice. I’m one of the few sportswriters in this town who doesn’t care about currying favor. I’ve been here since the beginning, I know the market, and I know what you are going to have to do to put butts in seats. First, here’s something Wayne didn’t get: The 20th Century is over. The corny marketing gimmicks the Jags tried have been instantly forgettable. The haranguing of locals by so-

called civic leaders to buy tickets — especially given that most of those folks are comped — has been hysterical and hypocritical in equal measure. Don’t play that way. That’s not going to work anymore. Give us a product we can support. None of that “wait till next year” crap. Not too many next years left. Give us a coach who thinks Offense. Like Mike Martz or Mike McCarthy. JDR was an LB coach; Tucker likewise a defensive specialist. We got to see a bunch of close losses. Yay? We can’t handle close losses. They hit too close to home for those of us who’ve tried our damnedest with our tragicomic lives, only to fall short. We’re tired of seeing people smile when they lose. Tired of seeing losing players up in the club after the game. Tired of wack linemen like Guy “The Turnstile” Whimper, who give up sacks as often as drunks in Five Points offer excuses. Tired of these predictable offenses. Why do you think the crowds ghost out at halftime? Because the Jags are more boring than sitting at home watching RedZone. Gene Smith. We know you signed off on his extension. Reconsider that, homey. What hath Smith wrought? The year everyone wanted Tebow, we reached for a defensive tackle. The year after that, traded up for Blaine “Whoa There M-----F-----” Gabbert. The media tells us he’s going to be good; the same media that told us a few years back that our home values could only go up. They’re lying sacks of dung. They can’t be trusted. This is basically an expansion team you bought. You know it. You have WRs who couldn’t catch a pass from a nympho on Red Bull, vodka and E. You have a defense stacked with practice squad players in the secondary. You bought into the NFL — great. Now double down and get some real-deal talent here. The kinds of guys who were here when the Jags last mattered — in the Clinton Administration. Draft a real QB. You’ll have a shot at RGIII, most likely. If he is there, take him. Take the best three WRs from free agency. Take some chances. The last guy looked at the bottom line ahead of winning. A nice-enough guy but please – we’d rather you be a bastard who delivers than a humanitarian who loses. And thanks for reading. Stay tuned.  AG Gancarski themail@folioweekly.com Twitter@AGGancarski

Listen to AG Gancarski every Friday on “First Coast Connect” with Melissa Ross on 89.9 FM WJCT.

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 11


MoneyJungle

Weakness is Provocative

The city’s Christmas crackdown on OccupyJax proves the new administration offers only more of the same

S

© 2012

12 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

ince the Occupy Jacksonville movement began, I’ve studiously avoided making comments about it here, mostly so I could see how it was handled by the authorities. Having witnessed much of their disgraceful behavior firsthand, I now feel obliged to speak my peace. The city’s recent crackdown on the Occupation going on outside City Hall is humiliation for all citizens of a city that (let’s face it) routinely goes out of its way to humiliate itself. Just hours before Christmas Eve, the city delivered a letter to organizers from city attorneys, ordering them to get rid of their signs or anything they couldn’t carry at all times, and to even stop using sidewalk chalk. Those of us who labor daily against the perception that Jacksonville is a sub-literate cesspool of racism and religious dogma, a place whose land, air and water are so polluted that the only things growing here consistently are criminals, have seen our effort rebuked yet again. Whether it was corrupt fire inspectors in the 1990s or the disastrous DART raids of a couple years ago, our “leaders” have remained keen to waste law-enforcement resources on bullshit, despite ample evidence that their methods have actually empowered the organized crime groups that control far more of this city than any silly old church. The situation also tends to confirm the mayor’s political cowardice to those few observers for whom the question was in doubt. Brown’s term has mostly been defined by throwing key supporters under the bus, while retaining much of the core of the administration that preceded his — the one he was elected largely in opposition to. From day one, Brown has acted like an embattled incumbent; it’s almost like he anticipates being there for just one term, a historical aberration, a failed experiment in the craven new style. The Occupy movement represents, perhaps, the last significant opportunity to address the issues of corporate greed and economic and social inequality in a non-violent fashion. It’s scary to think that, when young people organize to assert their constitutional rights to freedom of speech, assembly and association, the establishment reaction is viscerally negative. Councilmember Don Redman has been a constant presence at Occupy events, playing the role of amiable scold. Unless he’s secretly part of the 99 percent (and some think he may be), he’s devoted extraordinary amounts of personal time harassing a bunch of kids who’ve not yet been taught how to deal with hatemongers. Whatever the needs of the voters in his district, they should know those needs fall second to Redman’s need to bother the protesters. Let’s say this much for

FolioWeekly

Redman, though: At least he showed up. Brown and other councilmembers have adopted the policy of other city leaders nationwide — that of running their mouths about things about which they have no understanding. It makes sense that Brown, who bounced back and forth between the Beltway and Corporate America, would be ignorant of the underlying economic reality. It makes sense that his populist campaign rhetoric would be a front for more of the sameold, same-old. It makes sense that our visionary new leader is a just a cut-out caricature, eager to conform to stereotype. Because, as we’ve seen with Pres. Obama, the first job for any black executive-branch pol is to act forcefully to retain the confidence and support of the white business leaders who brought them to power. Hence, the politically motivated firings. Ironic that a mayor who was elected largely on a promise to encourage growth downtown has signed off on suppressing the only people who can actually draw numbers into downtown on a weekend without promising football or free food. It’s equally ironic that most of the local Occupiers either voted for Alvin Brown or actively worked for his campaign. Our mayor has apparently forgotten that he won by the closest margin in local history, and that it was the support of young progressives that kept him in the game when elites were focused on that shoddy Hogan-Moran-Mullaney horserace. I’ve heard many Democrats in recent months wish aloud that Audrey Moran had just a little bit more guts, hadn’t been so passive in response to conservative attacks, had tried to reach out to progressives a little bit more instead of prostrating for the business community like everyone else did. Of course, it’s unlikely that she would’ve handled OccupyJax any differently because, overall, this movement exists to show the people of America that our leaders have not only abnegated their responsibilities, but have deliberately acted against the best interests of this country. Why? Because they’re on the take. Every single politician in this country is hopelessly corrupt, whether they want to be or not. The system of campaign finance ensures that whoever wins any election is probably already bought and paid for by foreign capital. Those of you who complain about Brown now have forgotten that he was trained by Bill Clinton, arguably one of the most morally bankrupt human beings to ever walk the Earth. He learned his lessons well, but it remains to be seen how much the voters themselves have learned.  Shelton Hull themail@folioweekly.com


The Mustard Seed Cafe

Located inside Nassau Health Foods, The Mustard Seed is Amelia Island’s only organic eatery and juice bar, with an extensive, eclectic menu featuring vegetarian and vegan items. Daily specials include local seafood, freerange chicken and fresh organic produce. Salads, wraps, sandwiches and soups are available — all prepared with Stephanie Christopher’s impeccable style. Popular items are chicken or veggie quesadillas, grilled mahi, or salmon over mixed greens and tuna melt with Swiss cheese and tomato. Open for breakfast and lunch, 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon.-Sat. nassauhealthfoods.net 833 T.J. Courson Road 904-277-3141

Lulu’s at The Thompson House

Lulu’s owners, Brian and Melanie Grimley, offer an innovative lunch menu, including po’boys, salads and seafood “little plates” served in the gardens of the historic Thompson House. Dinner features fresh local seafood (Fernandina shrimp is the focus every Thursday), and nightly specials. An extensive wine list and beer are available. Open for lunch and dinner Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations are recommended. 11 S. Seventh Street 904-432-8394

PLAE Restaurant & Lounge

Located in the Spa & Shops at Amelia Island Plantation, PLAE serves bistro style cuisine. The full bar lounge at PLAE has become an instant classic, with artistic décor and live entertainment nightly. Now you can PLAE during the day, too! Open for lunch Tue.-Sat. 11:30 a.m.-2:30p.m. Open at 5:30 p.m. for dinner daily; reservations accepted. 80 Amelia Village Cir. 904-277-2132

Moon River Pizza

Moon River Pizza treats customers like family. Cooked in a brick oven, the pizza is custom-made by the slice (or, of course, by the pie). Set up like an Atlanta-style pizza joint, Moon River also offers an eclectic selection of wine and beers. Open for lunch and dinner Mon.-Sat. Dine in or take it with you. 925 S. 14th Street 904-321-3400

The Surf

Enjoy a casual beach atmosphere in the full-service restaurant, bar and huge oceanview deck. Extensive menu features delicious steaks, fresh seafood and nightly specials. Also featuring salads, wraps, burgers, seafood baskets and our famous all-you-can-eat wing specials (Wed. & Sun.). Take-out available. Open at 11 a.m. daily for lunch, dinner and latenight menu. Entertainment nightly and 29 TVs throughout. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-261-5711

The Palace Saloon

It’s been the cornerstone of downtown Fernandina Beach since 1903. Florida’s oldest continually operating bar serves great bar food, including 10-oz. burgers, gourmet hot dogs, New York-style pizza and our famous Fernandina Fish & Chips. And you never know when Uncle Charlie’s ghost will join you for lunch and a cocktail! Pirates Punch, full liquor bar and over 100 craft beers to choose. Catch all the games on 13 giant screens every Sunday. Open daily noon-2. thepalacesaloon.com 117 Centre Street 904-491-3332

Cafe Karibo

Homemade sandwiches, salads and soups are served in a relaxed atmosphere in this charming building in the historic district. Delicious fresh fish specials and theme nights (Pad Thai and curry), plus vegetarian dishes, are also featured. Karibrew Brew Pub & Grub — the only one on the island — offers on-site beers and great burgers and sandwiches. 27 N. Third Street 904-277-5269

29 South Eats

This chic, neighborhood bistro has it all — great ambience, fantastic food, an extensive wine list and reasonable prices. The eclectic menu offers traditional world cuisine with a modern whimsical twist and Chef Scotty Schwartz won Best Chef in Folio Weekly’s 2007 Best of Jax readers poll. Open for lunch Tues.-Sat., 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., for dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. Mon.Thur., till 10 p.m. Fri. and Sat. Brunch is 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 29southrestaurant.com 29 S. Third Street 904-277-7919

Brett’s Waterway Café

Overlooking Fernandina Harbor Marina, Brett’s offers an upscale atmosphere with outstanding food. The extensive luncheon and dinner menus feature daily specials, fresh Florida seafood, chicken and aged beef. Cocktails, beer and wine. Casual resort wear. Open at 11:30 a.m. daily. Fernandina Harbor Marina at the foot of Centre Street 904-261-2660

T-Ray’s Burger Station

T-Ray’s offers a variety of breakfast and lunch items. In addition to an outstanding breakfast menu, you’ll find some of the best burgers you’ve ever put in your mouth. The Burger Station offers a grilled portabello mushroom burger, grilled or fried chicken salad and much more. The spot where locals grab a bite and go! Now serving Beer & Wine. Open Mon.-Fri. 7 a.m.2:30 p.m., Sat. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Closed Sundays. 202 S. Eighth Street 904-261-6310

Jack & Diane’s

The locals’ favorite hangout! Dine inside or on the patio of this cozy, renovated 1887 shotgun home in historic downtown Fernandina. From the crab & shrimp omelet to the steak & tomato pie, “The tastiest spot on Centre” offers food with attitude and unexpected flair. Live music elevates your dining experience to a new level. Come for breakfast, stay for dinner! You’ll love every bite! 708 Centre Street 904-321-1444

Sliders Seaside Grill

Oceanfront dining at its finest. Award-winning crab cakes, fresh daily seafood specials and homemade desserts. Sliders has Amelia Island’s only waterfront Tiki Bar, as well as a children’s playground and live music every weekend. The dining experience is complete with brand-new second-story banquet facilities, bar and verandah. Open at 11 a.m. daily, with happy hour from 4-7 p.m. Mon.-Fri. Make Sliders Seaside Grill your place to be for friends and family, entertainment and the best food on the East Coast. Call for your next special event. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 904-277-6652

Amelia Island is 13 miles of unspoiled beaches, quaint shops, antique treasures and superb dining in a 50-block historic district less than one hour north of Jacksonville JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 13


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The event will celebrate and honor the work of the current Riverkeeper, Neil Armingeon, who is stepping down in 2012. The evening will feature musical luminaries Van Dyke Parks and Billy Joe Shaver. Parks has a lengthy list of credits as a composer, arranger, producer and musician. He is, perhaps, best known for his collaborations with the Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson. Shaver is a fabulous honky-tonking country outlaw, whose songs have been recorded by Widespread Panic, Marty Stuart, Elvis Presely, Bob Dylan, Allman Brothers, Robert Earl Keen, Waylon Jennings, Alison Krauss, Emmylou Harris, Jerry Lee Lewis, Patty Loveless, Willie Nelson & Johnny Cash, just to name a few. Come see these true American originals as we celebrate Neil Armingeon — an incredible asset to our city and a tireless advocate for the St. Johns!

14 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

Sale


CLASSICAL JAX SYMPHONY WITH JOSHUA BELL

Reasons to leave the house this week

Talk about a baby genius! As a mere toddler, Grammy-winning violinist Joshua Bell showed promise when he stretched rubber bands across dresser drawer handles and began plucking out melodies. While in his teens, Indiana-born Bell performed at Carnegie Hall, then graduated with honors from Indiana University. Bell has performed with most major orchestras on the planet, won the prestigious Avery Fisher Prize and appeared on soundtracks “The Red Violin” and “Angels and Demons.” Joshua Bell performs Bruch’s Violin Concerto with the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra on Saturday, Jan. 7 at 8 p.m. at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $35-$120. 354-5547.

HOOP, THERE IT IS BASKETBALL

B-Ball fans can drop a full court press on the New Year! First up, the Jacksonville Giants take on the Fayetteville Flight on Tuesday, Jan. 3 at 7 p.m. Tickets range from $8-$100. On Wednesday, Jan. 4, college roundball fans can see an NCAA doubleheader when the JU Lady Dolphins take on the Belmont Lady Bruins at 5 p.m., followed by both schools’ men’s teams going at it at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $8. All games are held at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. 630-3900.

JAZZ NORMAN CONNORS

Ritz Theatre & Museum offers two performances by chart-topping jazz drummer-composer Norman Connors on Saturday, Jan. 7, at 7 and 10 p.m. at 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. The Philly-born Connors has enjoyed a lifetime of heady musical pursuits. Still in middle school, he sat in with incendiary sax legend John Coltrane, and at 20 made his album debut on Archie Shepp’s 1967 free jazz classic, “Magic of JuJu.” Connors has since played with musical luminaries Dee Dee Bridgewater and Herbie Hancock. Connors’ latest joint, “Star Power,” is a smooth jazz offering featuring soulful friends Bobby Lyle, Ray Parker Jr. and longtime collaborator Michael Henderson. Advance tickets for each show are $21; $25 at the door. 632-5555.

PUNK BOREDOM

St. Augustine punks Boredom have turned sloth into a career path. Formed in 1994, the band was featured on the soundtracks of surf flicks “Lost Across America” and “What’s Really Going On,” while touring with punk peers Guttermouth, Yellowcard and Bigwig. After a series of personnel changes and injuries (“punk rock!”) the band decided to go on an indefinite hiatus in ’01. Yet these beach-bum nihilists are taking a working vacation from their years-long, uh, “smoke break” and we, the listening public, are better for it. Boredom plays with Whaleface and The Uprise on Saturday, Jan. 7 at 8 p.m. at Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Tickets are $8. 460-9311.

BOB SEGER

Classic rock legend Bob Seger first started playing some of that “Old Time Rock and Roll” in the same vibrant late-’60s Detroit music scene as MC5, Funkadelic and Iggy & the Stooges. Since then, this bona fide “Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man” has sold millions of albums and topped the charts with tunes like “Night Moves,” “Turn the Page” and “Like a Rock.” He even showed The Eagles some love, co-writing their hit “Heartache Tonight,” while never straying from his appealing, blue-collar vibe. Seger was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in ’04. More recently, Michigan’s governor proclaimed May 28 Bob Seger Day in recognition of the 66-year-old’s five-decade musical legacy. Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band perform on Tuesday, Jan. 10 at 7:30 p.m. at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $44-$98. 630-3900.

ROCK DARKHORSE SALOON

Northeast Florida power trio Darkhorse Saloon bring the same syrupy swagger as proto-stoner rockers like Kyuss and Masters of Reality, with cuts like “Strangers” and “Dance Joint” reducing heavy thug rock down to its base metal. As a wise rocker once asked, “Why use two chords when one will do?!” Darkhorse Saloon perform with ASG and What About Me on Thursday, Jan. 5 at 7 p.m. at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 15


It’s no mystery that nine out of 10 punk rock super-hacker babes read Folio Weekly! Rooney Mara is Lisbeth Salander in the mystery saga, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.”

Second Skin

David Fincher’s remake of the groundbreaking Swedish thriller is one killer affair The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo ****

Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., Sun-Ray Cinema

F © 2011

16 | folio weekly | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

or those familiar with the excellent 2009 Swedish version of the late author Stieg Larsson’s “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,” an American remake only two years later might’ve seemed needless. The first film was excellent, staying remarkably true to the novel — quite an accomplishment in itself, according to the expectations of adapted screenplays. So why do it again? The answer is obvious, at least to those who don’t like to read subtitles. American producers are counting on American audiences’ dislike of cinematic homework. In addition, the Powers That Be must’ve figured that Larsson’s knockout thriller would only get better with a knockout cast and production team. On the latter point, at least, they’re right. As good as the first version was — and it was pretty damn good — the remake manages to exceed the mark. And the lack of subtitles has nothing to do with it. Presumably, most people are familiar with the plot by now, either from the book itself (the first in a trilogy that’s a publishing phenomenon, second only to the Harry Potter series) or the original film version two years ago. Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) is a disgraced journalist hired by a reclusive industrial magnate (Christopher Plummer) to solve the murder of his brother’s daughter, a mystery that occurred 40 years earlier. The principal suspects are the man’s extended family of several generations, most of whom still reside on the small island where the murder apparently took place. A far cry from the usual suspects, they include an assorted collection of drunkards, fascists and perverts — all from the same bloodline. To assist him in what might seem an impossible task, given the amount of time passed and resources involved, Mikael enlists Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara), a troubled but formidable young woman of considerable skills and just as many piercings, in addition to the titular dragon tattoo across her back. Together, the duo discovers the sordid trail of a serial killer whose horrific crimes against women have spanned decades. And the murders are not over.

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That’s the bare outline of Larsson’s novel, one of the most complicated and engrossing crime thrillers of recent years which, with its two sequels, comprise what’s known as the Millennium Trilogy, named after the journal for which the journalist Mikael works. The followups, “The Girl Who Played with Fire” and “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest,” continue the fascinating story of Mikael and Lisbeth (with an obvious emphasis on her) and have already been filmed in Sweden with considerable success. Indeed, the three films have made an international star of Noomi Rapace (the original Lisbeth), currently starring alongside Robert Downey and Jude Law in the new Sherlock Holmes film. She’ll be seen next in Ridley Scott’s “Prometheus,” the prequel to “Alien.” Scripted by Steve Zaillian (Oscar winner for “Schindler’s List”) and directed masterfully by David Fincher (“Seven,” “Fight Club,” “The Social Network”), “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” is a superb recreation of Larsson’s original vision, wisely retaining the original Swedish landscape and characters (unlike the recent “Let Me In,” another American remake of the superb Swedish vampire thriller “Let the Right One In”). With only minimal plot revisions, insignificant except to purists, Zaillian manages to touch on most of the salient features of Larsson’s incredibly dense thriller. David Fincher (predictably, given his past achievements like “Zodiac”) proves the perfect choice to orchestrate the unfolding of the mystery. Daniel Craig continues to demonstrate his versatility as the intrepid Swedish journalist, but it’s Rooney Mara in the coveted role of Lisbeth who steals the film. The producers wisely opted to go with a relative unknown, instead of bigger stars like Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson, who’d been under consideration for the role. The character of Lisbeth Salander is a true original — by turns dangerous, vulnerable, grotesque and appealing. Like Rapace before her, Mara manages the difficult task of striking all the right notes in a true star-making performance. Not exactly holiday fare, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” is a compelling thriller along the lines of “Chinatown” and Fincher’s own “Seven.” Here’s hoping the same cast and crew will be able to complete the trilogy.  Pat McLeod themail@folioweekly.com


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The latest installment in the Tom Cruise action franchise is a nice year-end cinematic surprise Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol ****

Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., World Golf IMAX Theater

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t took nearly 12 months, but we finally have the best action movie of 2011. “Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol” is intense from the very beginning and resonates with pulse-pounding excitement at every turn. This is the standard to which all action movies should aspire. This time around, Ethan Hunt’s (Tom Cruise) IMF team has no choice but to accept its mission. Valuable nuclear weapon information has fallen into the hands of madman Hendricks (Mikael Nyqvist), who’s hellbent on destroying the world. Ethan’s team, which consists of computer genius Benji (Simon Pegg), beautiful, tough Jane (Paula Patton) and the somewhat

garage; both scenes are expertly paced. Director Brad Bird cut his teeth with Pixar animated faves like “The Incredibles” and “Ratatouille,” and you can tell the attention to detail he gave every frame of animation has served him well in his transition to live action. Much has been made of Tom Cruise doing his own stunts in the “MI” films. No doubt he does, given that safety nets, harnesses and other precautions can be removed in postproduction. What this adds, though, is a level of authenticity, and when you know it’s really Cruise swinging around the world’s tallest building 100 stories up, darned if it doesn’t take your breath away. In fairness, the script by Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec keeps things simple: Good guys, bad guys, stop nuclear war. What’s smart about the writing is that it’s efficient, giving For questions, please call your every character time in the spotlight. For example, Cruise, who certainly does his share FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE

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Ordinarily the fourth installment of a franchise means stale repetition and routine action, but having a new director for each “Mission: Impossible” movie has allowed Cruise to keep each film fresh, even if not always successful. ominous Brandt (Jeremy Renner), is smart and efficient, but constantly one step behind Hendricks. Watching them try to catch up is as exciting as an action movie can be. Great action set pieces establish the tone, each topping what came before it in style and execution. The first, inside a Russian prison, is nicely staged, and when Ethan and Benji use gadgets inside the Kremlin, you’ll be both delighted and amazed. Later, Ethan has to climb the outside of the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, providing great visuals (especially if you see it at an IMAX theater, which I recommend) and full-tilt bigscreen suspense. This is followed by a chase through a sandstorm and a fight in a motorized

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of the heavy lifting, nicely steps aside to allow Renner and Pegg to shine in a scene in which Brandt has to jump 25 feet into a revolving fan and trust that Benji will “catch” him before he’s shredded. Pegg plays it straight, Renner stresses, and the scene is a trip. Ordinarily, the fourth installment of a franchise means stale repetition and routine action, but having a new director for each “Mission: Impossible” movie has allowed Cruise to keep each film fresh, even if not always successful. The fact that “Ghost Protocol” is as good as it is proves a little creativity can go a long, long way.  Dan Hudak themail@folioweekly.com

© 2011

Risky Business: Jeremy Renner helps Tom Cruise perform his Jackie Chan Abs of Steel Workout in the hit thriller, “Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol.”

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 17

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FILM RATINGS **** SPACEMEN 3 ***@ LEVEL 42 **@@ BLINK 182 *@@@ MAROON 5

NOW SHOWING THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN ***G Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Steven Spielberg brings the popular young English sleuth to America in this animated action-adventure featuring the vocal stylings of Jamie “Billy Elliott” Bell, Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg, Cary Elwes and Toby Jones. Tintin (Bell) and his dog Snowy travel the globe getting in and out of trouble. ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIP-WRECKED **@@ Rated G • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. The vacation plans of Dave Seville (Jason Lee) and those nutty little Chipmunks (voices of Justin Long, Matthew Gray Gubler, Jesse McCartney) are sunk when they (and the Chipettes, natch!) are marooned on a deserted island. Costarring Amy Poehler, Anna Faris and Christina Applegate. ARTHUR CHRISTMAS **** Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. James McAvoy, Jim Broadbent and Ashley Jensen lend their voices to the British import from Aardman Animation about the youngest Claus son and his Christmas Eve shenanigans while delivering one special toy. Superb animation and an entertaining story make this film warm the cockles of even the most cold-hearted holiday humbug! We’re talking to you, Gov. Scott! THE DARKEST HOUR *@@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Aliens invade Earth! In Russia! So, like, five GenXers are gonna stop them. Right. THE DESCENDANTS **** Rated R • AMC Orange Park, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. The latest from writer-director Alexander Payne (“About Schmidt,” “Sideways”) features Oscar-worthy performances from George Clooney and Shailene Woodley in the story of a reluctant patriarch and his quirky family who find trouble in paradise and real family values in Hawaii. THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO **** Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., Sun-Ray Cinema Reviewed in this issue. HAPPY FEET TWO ***@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park This sequel to the animated family flick, with the voices of Elijah Wood, Hank Azaria, Pink and Robin Williams, sidesteps a so-so story about penguins taking (literal) flight, focusing on snappy animation and toe-tappin’ tunes. HUGO **** Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Based on Brian Selznick’s book about a young boy’s magical adventures in a 1930s Paris train station, “Hugo” is director

18 | folio weekly | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

“During a war, it’s never ‘Tofu Chili Night for Horses.’ ” Benedict Cumberbatch and Patrick Kennedy learn a powerful lesson in equine nutrition in Stephen Spielberg’s new epic, “War Horse.”

AREA THEATERS

AMELIA ISLAND Carmike Amelia Island 7, 1132 S. 14th St., 261-9867 ARLINGTON & REGENCY AMC Regency 24, 9451 Regency Square Blvd., 264-3888 BAYMEADOWS & MANDARIN Regal Avenues 20, 9525 Philips Highway, 538-3889 BEACHES Regal Beach Blvd. 18, 14051 Beach Blvd., 992-4398 FIVE POINTS Sun-Ray Cinema@5Points, 1028 Park St., 359-0047 NORTHSIDE Hollywood River City 14, River City Marketplace, 12884 City Center Blvd., 757-9880

Martin Scorsese’s first foray into fantasy filmmaking, blending fact and fiction into a captivating tale, with impressive technical wizardry, particularly in its use of 3-D. Asa Butterfield, Chloe Grace Moretz, Christopher Lee and Sacha Baron Cohen co-star. J. EDGAR ***@ Rated R • Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine Leonardo DiCaprio delivers an Oscar-worthy performance in Clint Eastwood’s engaging biopic that chronicles the life, legacy and still-lingering controversy surrounding J. Edgar Hoover, the decades-long director of the FBI. MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE — GHOST PROTOCOL **** Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., World Golf IMAX Theater Reviewed in this issue. THE MUPPETS ***@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Amy Adams and Jason Segel star (Segel co-wrote the script with Nicholas Stoller) in the return of Jim Henson’s ragtag crew of critters including Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Fozzie and Sam Eagle. Some of the musical numbers fall a little flat, but endearing performances by Segel and Adams, loads o’ cameos and a decent story (Muppets try to save their theater) make this family-geared flick a must-see.

ORANGE PARK AMC Orange Park 24, 1910 Wells Road, (888) AMC-4FUN Carmike Fleming Island 12, 1820 Town Center Blvd., 621-0221 SAN MARCO San Marco Theatre, 1996 San Marco Blvd., 396-4845 SOUTHSIDE Cinemark Tinseltown, 4535 Southside Blvd., 998-2122 ST. AUGUSTINE Epic Theatres, 112 Theatre Drive, 797-5757 IMAX Theater, World Golf Village, 940-IMAX Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., 829-3101

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN **** Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Based on an account from Colin Clark (Eddie Redmayne), a young man who worked for Sir Lawrence Olivier, this film stars Michelle Williams as the legendary Marilyn Monroe, on location shooting “The Prince and the Showgirl,” with Olivier (Kenneth Branagh). The blonde bombshell spirits Colin away on a lark, flagrantly misbehaving. Co-stars Julia Ormond, Emma Watson and Toby Jones. NEW YEAR’S EVE ***@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Director Garry Marshall’s latest rom-com celebrates the city of Manhattan and those who choose to live and love there with a series of Altman-style, intertwined vignettes with an ensemble cast including Zac Efron, Michelle Pfeiffer, Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel, Halle Berry, Robert De Niro and Jon “The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated” Bon Jovi! SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS **G@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd., San Marco Theatre Director Guy Ritchie’s cinematic adaptation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s legendary tale has Holmes (Robert Downey


Advertising proo Jr.) and trusty pal Dr. Watson (Jude Law) match wits with an equally astute opponent, Prof. Moriarty (Jared Harris). Kelly Reilly and Stephen Fry co-star in the fun-filled albeit predictable mystery-thriller. THE SITTER *G@@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. This comedy stars Jonah Hill as a babysitter — a suspended college student — who tries to maneuver a gang of rowdy children through a crazy adventure on the streets of New York City. THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 **@@ Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. EEEEEEE!! Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner return. The wolf pack and vampire clan are closing in on expectant parents Edward (Pattinson) and Bella (Stewart). Co-starring Gil Birmingham, Billy Burke, Sarah Clarke and Jackson (OMG!) Rathbone. WAR HORSE ***G Rated PG-13 • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. In WWI, the cavalry still rode horses. Young British horse-lover Albert (Jeremy Irvine), enlists to fight — and find his horse Joey, who’s essentially been drafted in the war effort. Co-stars Emily Watson and Peter Mullan. WE BOUGHT A ZOO **@@ Rated PG • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Carmike Amelia Island, Carmike Fleming Island, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Hollywood River City, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. Based on a true story, this family film is about recent widower Benjamin Mee (Matt Damon), who decides to “go country” and move his kids (Colin Ford, Maggie Elizabeth Jones) onto an 18-acre farm. The catch? The place is a literal zoo, crawling with critters cared for by zookeeper/hot babe Kelly Foster (Scarlett Johansson). Will there be a little animal magnetism? Natch, you filthy beasts! YOUNG ADULT ***@ Rated R • AMC Orange Park, AMC Regency Square, Cinemark Tinseltown, Epic Theatre St. Augustine, Regal Avenues, Regal Beach Blvd. The comedy, from the “Juno” team of director Jason Reitman and screenwriter Diablo Cody, follows author Mavis Gary (the terrific Charlize Theron) 20 years after graduation, back home hellbent to capture the heart of her now very-married, old high school squeeze Buddy (Patrick Wilson). She winds up having a

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weirder reunion of sorts with former geek Matt (Patton Oswalt). Notable performances by the cast (including a fine turn by Oswalt) combined with Cody’s witty dialogue and Reitman’s sharp direction make “Young Adult” a fun film for grownups.

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THE SKIN I LIVE IN This film opens on Jan. 6 at Sun-Ray Cinema, 1028 Park St., Five Points. 359-0047. sunraycinema.com POT BELLY’S CINEMA “The Ides of March,” “Martha, Marcy, May, Marlene,” “Anonymous” and “The Guard” are shown at Pot Belly’s, 36 Granada St., St. Augustine. 829-3101. WGHOF IMAX THEATER “Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol” is screened along with “Legends of Flight 3D,” “Rescue 3D,” “The Wildest Dream: Conquest of Everest,” “Born To Be Wild 3D,” “Hubble 3D” and “Under The Sea 3D” at World Golf Hall of Fame Village, 1 World Golf Place, St. Augustine. 940-IMAX. worldgolfimax.com

NEW ON DVD & BLU-RAY MONEY BALL Brad Pitt delivers a home run as Oakland A’s General Manager Billy Beane, who hires Ivy League economics major Peter Brand (Jonah Hill) to outwit the well-moneyed Major League teams with a minor league budget. Philip Seymour Hoffman also stars in director Bennett Miller’s unconventional sports biopic.

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DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK Director Troy Nixey’s remake of the 1973 cult horror flick is about introverted young Sally (Bailee Madison), who unwittingly unleashes an army of killer goblins in the creepy mansion she shares with dad Alex (Guy Pearce) and his girlfriend Kim (Katie Holmes). An excellent script by Guillermo del Toro (“Pan’s Labyrinth”) and Matthew Robbins makes this one horror film that’ll make you sleep with a few lights on.

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MILDRED PIERCE Originally aired as a five-part made-for-television mini-series, this film stars Kate Winslet as a single mother trying to raise her daughter in Los Angeles during the Great Depression. Director Todd Hayne’s (“I’m Not There”) remake of the 1945 film is a worthy adaptation of James M. Cain’s hardboiled American novel. Co-stars Guy Pearce, Evan Rachel Wood and Hope Davis. PEARL JAM TWENTY Cameron Crowe’s cinematic love letter to the Seattle rockers on the 20th anniversary of their groundbreaking grunge rock debut was culled from hundreds of hours of interviews, behind-the-scenes clips and performance footage. 

© 2011

“OK, gang! Looks like there’s only one thing that’ll stop these evil aliens and that’s a total ‘Glee’-style dance off!” It’s Generation OMG vs. the UFOs in the teenybop sci-fi thrill ride, “The Darkest Hour.”

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 19

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Cosmic Debris: The jamming quintet Galactic performs at Freebird Live.

New Orleans funk jazz masters Galactic orbit back to Northeast Florida GALACTIC with COREY GLOVER, COREY HENRY, TOUBAB KREWE Thursday, Jan. 5 at 8 p.m. Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach Tickets are $20 246-2473

O

ver the last century, cities across America have become linked with specific genres of music. Seattle birthed grunge. Nashville grooms country stars. Detroit is known for Motown, Atlanta for hip hop and Memphis sings the saddest of blues songs. Mardi Gras and a strong culture of porch-front musicians have made New Orleans the place for jazz. Formed some two decades ago in the Big Easy, funk-jazz outfit Galactic is Ben Ellman (harps/horns), Robert Mercurio (bass), Stanton Moore (drums/percussion), Jeff Raines (guitar) and Rich Vogel (keyboards). The band — which has no permanent vocalist — creates its signature sound by fusing everything from jazz to funk to rock to zydeco and bringing vocal collaborators along for live gigs and recording sessions. This February, Galactic hits the road on a U.S. tour in support of their latest album, “Carnivale Electricos,” which drops on Mardi Gras (Feb. 21). The quintet stops by Jacksonville on Jan. 5 to get their feet wet playing some of that material before heading out. Folio Weekly caught up with bass player Robert Mercurio for a chat, as he was finalizing his Christmas menu.

20 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

Folio Weekly: Your new album, “Carnivale Electricos” (ANTI-), drops Mardi Gras Day. Will you be playing material from that at your Freebird Live show? Robert Mercurio: Yeah, we are. We’re going to start getting together right before our New Year’s run to run some material and get it

together. We’re going to start warming up for the album. F.W.: Corey Glover from Living Colour will be guest vocalist at the show. How did you all hook up? R.M.: We actually got hooked up back in ’02. We were in New York playing a show and he came out as a guest. We met him backstage right before the encore and said, “Ah man, you want to sit in and do something?” And he was like, “Yeah, man. Let’s do ‘Whole Lotta Love’

Moyseis Marques, Casa Samba and the KIPP Renaissance High School Marching Band]. Were the decisions about who to work WITH decided democratically among band members? R.M.: Yeah, [that’s how] it usually is. It is definitely something we discuss as a band. I’m one of the producers and our sax player, Ben [Ellman], is [also] one of the producers, so at some point, we might take a bit of an initiative and get somebody in there without having to address it to everybody. We try and come up with concepts behind our albums — we’re

“We’re kind of a rhythm section band without a real, permanent vocalist, which is awesome, because it really opens up our possibilities.” by Led Zeppelin.” So we rocked it and it was so fun and it was so good. Sadly enough, it took us about eight years to get it together where our schedules were open and it made sense for us. We asked him to start touring with us last February and he’s pretty much been doing every date since. F.W.: Alive or dead, who is your dream guest vocalist? R.M.: Oh my God, that is a good question. That’s tough. Oh my God, alive or dead. F.W.: You’ve never given that any thought? R.M.: I guess I have. I guess the answer’s just kind of floated in and out of my head. Let me think about that. Ask me another question and we’ll come back to that! F.W.: OK. You collaborated with a ton of musicians for “Carnivale Electricos” [Cyril and Ivan Neville, Mystikal, Mannie Fresh,

kind of a rhythm section band without a real, permanent vocalist, which is awesome, because it really opens up our possibilities. F.W.: Press material calls your new album “the most ambitious release to date.” Do you agree? R.M.: You know, they always say that! [Laughs.] I guess, in some ways, it is. I guess we always feel like that about our most current album. But I mean it was a stretch in concept and it was a trying album to make and something that we were excited to complete and that we stuck true to the idea. F.W.: Back to your dream guest vocalist. R.M.: Well, you know who I would love, actually, is Robert Plant. It’s never been an option. We played right before him last year at Bonnaroo and it was, like, “Oh my God!” but it never happened.  Kara Pound themail@folioweekly.com


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Waiting for a Train: Local indie poppers AC Deathstrike kick off their upcoming tour on Jan. 10 at Burro Bar.

AC DEATHSTRIKE with CRITTER Tuesday, Jan. 10 at 10 p.m. Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville 353-4686

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here was a time when heresy was as dangerous as Tebowing while wearing glittery nuthuggers in an electrical storm on a hot August night. Though the word heresy translates from the ancient Greek as simply “choice,” it generally refers to being in direct conflict with prevailing religious or moral codes. The Renaissanceera heretics, known as much for their love of cloaks as for impromptu poisonings, were also a curiously scurrilous and defiantly fun-loving bunch. And none was so primed for good times, sassy defiance and lethal inquiry as Giordano Bruno! Born in Nola, Italy in 1548, Bruno began his tonsured career at the Monastery of Saint Domenico, onetime alma mater of his hero Thomas “Kick Ass” Aquinas. But Bruno found the life of a Dominican priest didn’t suit, especially after discovering it meant being an adult virgin who constantly wore robes. Once freed of both his chastity and garmentry, Bruno wandered the land as a philosopher, developing a worldview that was a mixture of Arabic astrology, mathematics, Gnostic Christianity, Egyptian Hermeticism and questionable public bathing. In 1584, Bruno published “Dell Infinito, universo e mondi” (“Of Infinity, the Universe, and the World”), a work that postulated there were an infinite number of planets in the Universe populated by beings similar to ourselves. The Catholic Church, never known for its forgiving or even rational book criticism, rewarded Bruno for his troubles by torturing the pioneering polymath for nearly a dozen years. After many thousands of nights of what can best be described as the fiercest form of Christ-based coercion, Bruno was sentenced to death. “Great,” was his rumored reply. On Feb. 19, 1600 (the same day that would eventually be remembered as the birthday of R&B sensation Smokey Robinson), Bruno’s jaw was bound shut and his tongue and palate were pierced with an iron spike. He was then stripped naked, paraded through the streets of Rome and — after a few casual victory laps around town wherein the chariot driver showed off his “fly ass rims” — Giordano Bruno, “Daydream Believer of Nola,” was burned alive at the stake. Whew! While local rockers AC Deathstrike shan’t be tortured (yet) for their latest release, “Winter in Russia,” these delightful tykes shall be beaten

brutally with iron-forged salvos for releasing an album that is truly heretical to the local music scene. When Folio Weekly first cracked open the CD packaging, careful to quickly pocket the stack of twenties tucked inside for the “standard editorial handling fees,” we were hoping that, with a name like “AC Deathstrike,” we were about to surrender to the finest in Westside, aerosolhuffing death metal. The opening cut and title track soon quelled our expectation like a hot iron spike into our collective tongue. Over the course of 12 tracks, AC Deathstrike delivers a dozen gentle and melodic songs that elevate “twee” to high art. And in an almost abject defiance to other area artists’ styles that range from jam band pluckery, post-Creed bluster to Danzigfont swiping, AC Deathstrike plows ahead like a juggernaut of naïve innocence. The band is the tender brainchild of Alex Dougherty (vocals, guitars, keyboards), joined by Daisy Miller (vocals), Andrew Wood (bass) and Adel Bengo (drums), who are in turn aided by other players including members of fellow Skinny Records label mates Opiate Eyes and Wild Life Society. The lullaby-like duet of “Open Your Eyes” has Dougherty and Miller singing over a cloud of acoustic guitars and piano. The band takes its basic formula of major chord progressions, washes of synthesizer and harmony vocals as the central pivot around which the majority of “Winter in Russia” spins. “Simple Explanation in Motion” and “You’ll Never Know” veer dangerously close to rocking out Pixies-style, yet it’s safe to say the thrash legacy of, say, Norwegian god-stabbers Mayhem remains unthreatened. After a half-dozen releases, AC Deathstrike (acdeathstrike.bandcamp.com) gets high marks for sticking to their guns, however mild, and even bigger points for an idea that’s truly criminal among many local ukulelepluckers. The band’s upcoming gig at Burro Bar is a send-off of sorts for its upcoming tour of the Southeast. So AC Deathstrike should be applauded for having the delicate, inoffensive balls to take its soft rock show on the road. Who knows — after a few weeks in a van, the surviving members will probably return to town gargling Oxycontin and dressing like David Allen Coe. The mind reels. Would Folio Weekly have been saddened if AC Deathstrike actually sounded like a Belgian Grindcore band? No. Are we glad that AC Deathstrike calls Northeast Florida home? Totally.  Dan Brown dbrown@folioweekly.com

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 21


22 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 3-9, 2012


CONCERTS THIS WEEK

POOR RICHARDS, KONAMI CODE The local punks appear at 8 p.m. on Jan. 3 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. 398-7496. CHERYL WHEELER Singer-songwriter and storyteller Wheeler plays at 7 p.m. on Jan. 4 at CafÊ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Tickets are $18. 460-9311. D-LO THOMPSON Singer-songwriter D-Lo Thompson performs at 9 p.m. on Jan. 4 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. 854-6060. DARKHORSE SALOON, ASG, WHAT ABOUT ME The tasty rock kicks off at 7 p.m. on Jan. 5 at Brewster’s Pit, 14003 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 223-9850. HONEY DEWDROPS This folk duo performs at 8 p.m. on Jan. 5 at European Street CafÊ, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 399-1740. GALACTIC with COREY GLOVER, COREY HENRY, TOUBAB KREWE New Orleans jam band kings Galactic appear at 8 p.m. on Jan. 5 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $20. 246-2473. BRYAN RIPPER Singer-songwriter Ripper plays at 9 p.m. on Jan. 5 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. 854-6060. ANDRE WILEY Singer-songwriter Wiley appears at 6 p.m. on Jan. 5 at Hurricane Grill & Wings, 5907 Roosevelt Blvd., Jacksonville. 573-8838. WILL PEARSALL Dobro master Pearsall performs at 7 p.m. on Jan. 6 at Three Layers CafÊ, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. EVANS ACOUSTIC TRIO The local bluegrass combo performs at 5 p.m. on Jan. 6 at Whitey’s Fish Camp, 2032 C.R. 220, Fleming Island, 269-4198. The band plays at 6 p.m. on Jan. 7 at The Surf Restaurant, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., Fernandina Beach. 261-5711. SET IT APART, CALL IT CAPTIVE, JUST LIKE GENTLEMEN, CITY IN PERIL These perky punks play at 8 p.m. on Jan. 6 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. 398-7496.

DANKA, DUBWISE, LIVICATION, HELLA SWANKY Sweet reggae music fills the air at 8 p.m. on Jan. 6 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $8. 246-2473. JIMMY SOLARI Singer-songwriter Solari is in at 9 p.m. on Jan. 6 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. 854-6060. GREENHOUSE LOUNGE, TEAM GRIME Jam band Greenhouse Lounge performs at 9 p.m. on Jan. 6 at Square One, 1974 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. 306-9004. BIG ENGINE These local faves roar onstage at 9 p.m. on Jan. 6 and 7 at Cliff’s Bar & Grill, 3033 Monument Road, Jacksonville. 645-5162. ERIC LINDELL Bluesman Lindell performs at 10 p.m. on Jan. 6 at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Tickets are $15. 247-6636. NIKKI TALLEY Asheville singer-songwriter Talley plays at 7 p.m. on Jan. 7 at Three Layers CafÊ, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. NIKKI DAWSON, NOBODY ON LAND, SWAG SESSION The indie rock delights begin at 8 p.m. on Jan. 7 at Jack Rabbits, 1528 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. Tickets are $8. 398-7496. ROD MacDONALD Singer-songwriter MacDonald performs at 8 p.m. on Jan. 7 at European Street CafÊ, 5500 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 399-1740. BOREDOM, WHALEFACE, THE UPRISE St. Augustine punks Boredom play at 8 p.m. on Jan. 7 at CafÊ Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. Tickets are $8. 460-9311. KALIYL, BECOMING MACHINE, DREAM OF THE DAY, IN TOO DEEP These bands deliver the modern rock at 8 p.m. on Jan. 7 at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax Beach. Tickets are $8. 246-2473. THE DRUIDS The Druids, featuring Folio Weekly A&E Editor Dan Brown on bass, appear at 9 p.m. on Jan. 7 at Island Girl Cigar Bar, 7860 Gate Parkway, Jacksonville. 854-6060. SURFER BLOOD, GOSPEL MUSIC University of North Florida’s Osprey Radio presents these local indie rock wonders at 8 p.m. on Jan. 8 at the Student Union, Rm. 3703, Bldg. 58 W., UNF, on Jacksonville’s Southside. Admission is free; doors open at 7 p.m. ospreyradio.com

GOLIATH FLORES Multi-instrumentalist Flores performs at 1 p.m. on Jan. 8 at Three Layers CafĂŠ, 1602 Walnut St., Jacksonville. 355-9791. JOHN LONGBOTTOM Singer-songwriter John Longbottom performs at 5 p.m. on Jan. 8 at European Street CafĂŠ, 992 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. 399-1740. BOB SEGER & THE SILVER BULLET BAND Classic rock legend Bob Seger plays at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 10 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $44-$98. 630-3900. AC DEATHSTRIKE, CRITTER Local dream pop heads AC Deathstrike appears at 10 p.m. on Jan. 10 at Burro Bar, 100 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. 353-4686.

UPCOMING CONCERTS

WINTER JAM TOUR: SKILLET, NEWSONG, SANCTUS REAL, KARI JOBE Jan. 13, Veterans Memorial Arena THE GENITORTURERS Jan. 13, Brewster’s Pit RUBEN STUDDARD Jan. 13, Ritz Theatre GREGG ALLMAN Jan. 13, The Florida Theatre GLORIANNA Jan. 14, Mavericks ROCCO MARSHALL BENEFIT Jan. 14, Brewster’s Pit TAB BENOIT Jan. 14, Mojo Kitchen FRED EAGLESMITH Jan. 19, Mojo Kitchen REBELUTION, THE GROUCH, PEP LOVE Jan. 20, Mavericks SUPERVILLAINS Jan. 21, Brewster’s Pit RAT PACK REVUE Jan. 21, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall GORDON LIGHTFOOT Jan. 22, The Florida Theatre FUEL, THE EMBRACED, GET OUT DRIVER, IN WHISPERS, TWO MINUTE WISH, MANNA ZEN, STAYNE THEE ANGEL Jan. 22, Brewster’s Pit TYCHO Jan. 23, CafÊ Eleven THE NEW ORLEANS SUSPECTS, BILLY BUCHANAN Jan. 26, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall WHERE’S THE BAND TOUR: Chris Conley, Matt Pryor, Ace Enders, Anthony Raneri, Evan Weiss Jan. 26, CafÊ Eleven THE MOUNTAIN GOATS Jan. 27, CafÊ Eleven POLYGON CD RELEASE PARTY Jan. 27, Freebird Live SPIDER MONKEY, HORNIT Jan. 28, Freebird Live TRAVIS TRITT Jan. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

January 5 Deron Baker January 6 & 7 The Grapes Of Roth

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VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“Join us for Blues, Rock & Funk�

GALACTIC

(feat. Corey Glover of Living Colour & Cory Henry of Rebirth Brass Band)

Toubab Krewe FRIDAY JANUARY 6

DANKA/DUBWISE Livication/Hella-Swanky SATURDAY JANUARY 7

Kaliyl/

Becoming machine Dream of The Day/In 2 Deep FRIDAY JANUARY 13

DEVOUR THE DEAD/DNR Artilect/the Magistrate SATURDAY JANUARY 14

Does it Matter/Waylay MONDAY JANUARY 16

ANBERLIN States FRIDAY JANUARY 20

The WesTerlies SATURDAY JANUARY 21

THE CAB/SUMMER SET He is We/Days Difference/Paradise Fears

freebird MONDAY JANUARY 23

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

The Best Live Music in St. Augustine!

FreebirdLive.com 200 N. 1st St., Jax Beach, FL • 904.246.BIRD (2473) THURSDAY JANUARY 5

AUGUST BURNS RED/ SILVERSTEIN Texas in July/leT live Mon-

Men’s Night Out Beer Pong 7pm $1 Draft $5 Pitchers Free Pool ALL U CAN EAT CRABLEGS

Tues-

Texas Hold ’Em STARTS AT 7 P.M.

Wed-

Bar Bingo/Karaoke ALL U CAN EAT WINGS KIDS EAT FREE FROM 5 P.M. TO 9 P.M. HAPPY HOUR ALL NIGHT

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Thurs- DJ BG w/Cornhole Tournament 2 FOR 1 DOMESTIC DRAFTS, WELLS AND HOUSE WINE

FriSat-

A1A - 9:30pm 1/2 PRICE APPS-FRI (BAR ONLY) 4-7PM DECK MUSIC 5 P.M.-9 P.M. A1A - 9:30pm DECK MUSIC - 5P.M.-9P.M.

WEDNESDAY JANUARY 25

G-LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE Kristy Lee THURSDAY JANUARY 26

Led Zeppelin II FRIDAY JANUARY 27

POLYGONS CD Release Party

John Brandon Project SATURDAY JANUARY 28

SPIDER MONKEY

Hornit/Damn the Name/Cranford & Sons SUNDAY JANUARY 29

DRUGS Hit tHe LigHts WEDNESDAY FEBRUARY 1

DIA FRAMPTON UPCOMING SHOWS

2-4: Big Gigantic 2-9: Sleigh Bells/Diplo 2-11: New Day 2-12: Mishka 2-17: Passafire/Sidereal 2-18: Attack Attack 2-19: Yonder Mountain String Band 2-23: Yelawolf 2-25: Frontiers (Journey Tribute) 3-2: Boyce Avenue / Secondhand Serenade 3-6: Lotus 3-7: Of Montreal 3-10: Badfish (Sublime Tribute) 3-16: Young the Giant/Grouplove 3-24: Katchafire 3-26: Hot Chelle Rae 5-9: White Chapel/Miss May I

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 23


REBELUTION, THE GROUCH, PEP LOVE Jan. 29, Mavericks JIMMY BUFFETT Jan. 31, Veterans Memorial Arena KEB MO Jan. 31, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE CIVIL WARS Feb. 1, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall RICHARD THOMPSON ELECTRIC TRIO Feb. 2, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall MICHAEL FEINSTEIN Feb. 2, The Florida Theatre KELLY CLARKSON, MATT NATHANSON Feb. 2, T-U Center’s Moran Theater AARON LEWIS Feb. 3, Mavericks QUINTRON & MISS PUSSYCAT Feb. 7, Nobby’s WILLIE NELSON & FAMILY Feb. 8, The Florida Theatre KING KHAN & THE SHRINES, NATURAL CHILD Feb. 8, CafÊ Eleven DIPLO, SLEIGH BELLS Feb. 9, Freebird Live THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS, JONATHAN COULTON Feb. 9, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall RASCAL FLATTS Feb. 9, Veterans Memorial Arena THE AHN TRIO Feb. 10, The Florida Theatre THE AVETT BROTHERS Feb. 11, The Florida Theatre THE TOGAS (Ty Segall, Shannon Shaw, Lance Willie, Philip Sambol) Feb. 15, CafÊ Eleven AN EVENING TO HONOR & BENEFIT THE ST. JOHNS

RIVERKEEPER with BILLY JOE SHAVER, VAN DYKE PARKS Feb. 16, The Florida Theatre PATRIZIO BUANNE Feb. 17, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall PASSAFIRE Feb. 17, Freebird Live GRANDPA’S COUGH MEDICINE, GALEN KIPAR Feb. 17, Mojo Kitchen TAPROOT Feb. 18, Brewster’s Pit BRANDI CARLILE Feb. 18, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall ATTACK ATTACK! Feb. 18, Freebird Live SHEMEKIA COPELAND, TOOTS LORRAINE & THE TRAFFIC Feb. 19, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND Feb. 19, Freebird Live RYAN MONTBLEAU BAND Feb. 20, CafÊ Eleven THE SAW DOCTORS Feb. 22, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS Feb. 22, CafÊ Eleven LYNCH MOB Feb. 24, Brewster’s Pit PABLO CRUISE Feb. 25, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall AGENT ORANGE Feb. 25, Brewster’s Pit BLIND PILOT Feb. 27, CafÊ Eleven DARK STAR ORCHESTRA Feb. 29, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall BOYCE AVENUE, SECONDHAND SERENADE March 2, Freebird Live HANK WILLIAMS JR. March 3, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WYNTON MARSALIS March 4, The Florida Theatre OF MONTREAL, CASIO KIDS March 7, Freebird Live BIG HEAD TODD & THE MONSTERS March 11, The Florida Theatre HENRY ROLLINS March 11, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall YOUNG THE GIANT, GROUPLOVE March 16, Freebird Live THE MOODY BLUES March 17, St. Augustine Amphitheatre TONY BENNETT March 20, St. Augustine Amphitheatre WILSON PHILLIPS March 21, The Florida Theatre ANOUSHKA SHANKAR March 22, The Florida Theatre Local rockers Kaliyl (pictured) perform with Becoming Machine, Dream of the SUWANNEE SPRINGFEST: YONDER Day and In Too Deep on Jan. 7 at 8 p.m. at Freebird Live, 200 N. First St., Jax MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, PETER Beach. Tickets are $8. 246-2473. ROWAN & TONY RICE, JUSTIN

TOWNES EARLE March 23-25, Spirit of the Suwannee Music Park KATCHAFIRE March 24, Freebird Live HOT CHELLE RAE March 26, Freebird Live JAKE SHIMABUKURO March 30, The Florida Theatre TOWER OF POWER April 12, The Florida Theatre ELVIS COSTELLO & The IMPOSTERS April 27, Florida Theatre OWN THE NIGHT WORLD TOUR: LADY ANTEBELLUM, DARIUS RUCKER, THOMPSON SQUARE May 10, Veterans Memorial Arena CATIE CURTIS May 11, CafĂŠ Eleven EDGAR WINTER BAND May 24, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall

• CLUBS • AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH

BEECH STREET GRILL, 801 Beech, 277-3662 John Springer on Fri. & Sat., every other Thur. Barry Randolph every Sun. CAFE KARIBO, 27 N. Third St., 277-5269 Live music in the courtyard at 6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat., at 5 p.m. every Sun. DOG STAR TAVERN, 10 N. Second St., 277-8010 Live music every weekend GENNARO’S ITALIANO SOUTH, 5472 First Coast Hwy., 491-1999 Live jazz from 7:30-9:30 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. GREEN TURTLE TAVERN, 14 S. Third St., 321-2324 Dan Voll from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Live music every weekend INDIGO ALLEY, 316 Centre St., 261-7222 Dan Voll & the Alley Cats at 8 p.m. every Sat. Frankie’s Jazz Jam at 7:30 p.m. every Tue. Open mic at 7 p.m. every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. O’KANE’S IRISH PUB, 318 Centre St., 261-1000 Dan Voll at 7:30 p.m. every Wed. Turner London Band at 8:30 p.m. every Thur., Fri. & Sat. THE PALACE SALOON & SHEFFIELD’S, 117 Centre St., 491-3332 BSP Unplugged every Tue. & Sun. Wes Cobb every Wed. DJ Heavy Hess, Hupp & Rob every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. DJ Miguel Alvarez in Sheffield’s every Fri. DJ Heavy Hess every Sat. Cason every Mon. PLAE, 80 Amelia Circle, Amelia Island Plantation, 277-2132 Gary Ross from 7-11 p.m. every Thur.-Sat. SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL, 1998 S. Fletcher Ave., 277-6990 Cason at 2 p.m. at the tiki bar every Sat. & Sun.

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24 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

THE SURF, 3199 S. Fletcher Ave., 261-5711 Evans Acoustic Trio at 6 p.m. on Jan. 7. Live music Tue.-Sun. DJ Roc at 5 p.m. every Wed.

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

AJ’S BAR & GRILLE, 10244 Atlantic Blvd., 805-9060 DJ Sheryl every Thur., Fri. & Sat. DJ Mike every Tue. & Wed. Karaoke every Thur. MEEHAN’S TAVERN, 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5, 551-7076 Karaoke every Wed. Live music every Fri. Open mic every Wed. MVP’S SPORTS GRILLE, 12777 Atlantic Blvd., 221-1090 Live music at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. PLUSH, RAIN, LAVA, 845 University Blvd. N., 745-1845 DJ Massive spins top 40 in Rain every Wed., DJs spin Latin every Fri. STARBUCKS, 9301 Atlantic Blvd., 724-4554 Open mic with Starbucks Trio from 8-11 p.m. every other Fri. TONINO’S TRATTORIA, 7001 Merrill Rd., 743-3848 Alaina Colding every Thur. W. Harvey Williams at 6 p.m. every Fri. Signature String Quartet every Sat. VIP LOUNGE, 7707 Arlington Xprway, 619-8198 Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Wed. & Fri. Reggae every Thur. Old school jams every Sat. A DJ spins every Sun.

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

BRICK RESTAURANT, 3585 St. Johns Ave., 387-0606 Duet every Wed. Goliath Flores and Sam Rodriguez every Thur. Bush Doctors every 1st Fri. & Sat. Live jazz every Fri. & Sat. THE CASBAH CAFE, 3628 St. Johns Ave., 981-9966 Goliath Flores every Wed. 3rd Bass every Sun. Live music every Mon. ECLIPSE, 4219 St. Johns Ave., 387-3582 DJ Keith spins for Karaoke every Tue. DJ Free spins vintage every Fri. DJs SuZiRok, LowKill & Mowgli spin for Chillwave Madness every Mon. ELEVATED AVONDALE, 3551 St. Johns Ave., 387-0700 Karaoke w/ Dave Thrash every Wed. DJ 151 spins hip hop, R&B, old-school every Thur. DJ Catharsis spins lounge beats every 1st & 4th Sat. Patrick Evan & CoAlition for Industry Sun. HURRICANE GRILL & WINGS, 5907 Roosevelt Blvd., 573-8838 Andre Wiley at 6 p.m. on Jan. 5 TOM & BETTY’S, 4409 Roosevelt Blvd., 387-3311 Live music every Fri. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Sat.


Bluesman Eric Lindell performs on Jan. 6 at 10 p.m. at Mojo Kitchen, 1500 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach. Originally from the Bay Area punk rock scene, the 43-year-old New Orleans-based Lindell has a style that’s been compared to Van Morrison’s. Tickets are $15. 247-6636.

BAYMEADOWS

THE COFFEE GRINDER, 9834 Old Baymeadows Rd., 642-7600 DJ Roy Luis spins new & vintage original house at 9 p.m. every Thur. GATOR’S DOCKSIDE, 8650 Baymeadows Rd., 448-0500 Comfort Zone Band at 9 p.m. every Fri. MY PLACE BAR-N-GRILL, 9550 Baymeadows Rd., 737-5299 Out of Hand every Mon. Rotating bands every other Tue. & Wed. OASIS GRILL & CHILL, 9551 Baymeadows Rd., 748-9636 DJs Stan and Mike Bend spin every Feel Good Fri. TONY D’S NEW YORK PIZZA & RESTAURANT, 8358 Point Meadows Dr., 322-7051 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri.

BEACHES

(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted)

BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD, 120 S. Third St., 444-8862 Kurt Lanham sings classical island music every Fri.-Sun. BILLY’S BOATHOUSE, 2321 Beach Blvd., 241-9771 Live music at 5:30 p.m. on Jan. 5 & 7, at 6 p.m. on Jan. 6 and at noon on Jan. 8 BLUES ROCK CAFE, 831 N. First St., 249-0007 Live music every weekend BRIX TAPHOUSE, 300 N. Second St., 241-4668 DJ IBay every Tue., Fri. & Sat. DJ Ginsu every Wed. DJ Jade every Thur. Charlie Walker every Sun. COPPER TOP, 1712 Beach Blvd., 249-4776 Karaoke with Billy McMahan, 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Open mic every Wed.

CRAB CAKE FACTORY, 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza, 247-9880 Live jazz with Pierre & Co. every Wed. CULHANE’S IRISH PUB, 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 249-9595 CJ Fluharty at 7 p.m. on Jan. 6. Larry Mangum at 7 p.m. on Jan. 13 DICK’S WINGS, 311 N. Third St., Ste. 107, 853-5004 Big Jeff at 8 p.m. every Thur. Live music at 9 p.m. every Sat. EL POTRO MEXICAN RESTAURANT, 1553 Third St. N., 241-6910 Wilfredo Lopez every Wed. & Sat. ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY, 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217, 249-2337 Live music every Thur. EUROPEAN STREET, 992 Beach Blvd., 399-1740 John Longbottom from 5-8 p.m. on Jan. 8 FIONN MACCOOL’S, 333 N. First St., 242-9499 Live music every Thur.-Sat. FLY’S TIE IRISH PUB, 177 E. Sailfish Dr., Atlantic Beach, 246-4293 Nate Holley every Mon. Wes Cobb every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. King Eddie reggae every Sun. FREEBIRD LIVE, 200 N. First St., 246-2473 Galactic, Corey Glover, Corey Henry and Toubab Krewe on Jan. 5. Danka, Dubwise, Livication and Hella Swanky on Jan. 6. Kaliyl, Becoming Machine, Dream of the Day and In Too Deep on Jan. 7 ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 108 First St., Neptune Beach, 372-0943 Nick Williams on Jan. 4. Aaron Sheeks on Jan. 5. Tim O’Shea on Jan. 6. Evan Paluszynski on Jan. 7. Live music on weekends LILLIE’S COFFEE BAR, 200 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-2922 Jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Sat. LYNCH’S IRISH PUB, 514 N. First St., 249-5181 Split Tone at 10:30 p.m. every Tue. Nate Holley Band every Wed. Ryan Campbell every Thur. Wits End every Sun. Little Green Men every Mon. MAYPORT TAVERN, 2775 Old Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach, 270-0801 Live music at 3 p.m. every Sun. Open mic at 5 p.m. every Wed. DJ Jason hosts Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1018 N. Third St., Ste. 2, 246-1500 Paul on Jan. 3. Darren Corlew on Jan. 4. Saltwater Grass on Jan. 5. Catfish Alliance on Jan. 6. Live music every Wed.-Sat. MEZZA LUNA, 110 First St., Neptune Beach, 249-5573 Neil Dixon at 6 p.m. every Tue. Mike Shackelford and Rick Johnson at 6 p.m. every Thur. MOJO KITCHEN, 1500 Beach Blvd., 247-6636 Eric Lindell on Jan. 6. Tab Benoit on Jan. 14

mojo

cop top?

Wednesday

Kurt Lanham Thursday

Mark Williams Friday & Saturday

Retro Katz Sunday

Storytellers Atlantic Blvd. at the Ocean "UMBOUJD#FBDIr JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 25


MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN, 1850 S. Third St., 246-1070 Wes Cobb at 10 p.m. every Tue. DJ Austin Williams spins dance & for Karaoke at 9 p.m. every Wed., Sat. & Sun. DJ Papa Sugar spins dance music at 9 p.m. every Mon., Thur. & Fri. NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE, 2309 Beach Blvd., 247-3300 Live music nightly NORTH BEACH BISTRO, 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 Live music every Thur.-Sat. OCEAN 60, 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 Live music every weekend THE PIER RESTAURANT, 445 Eighth Ave. N., 246-6454 Darren Corlew and Johnny Flood at 7 p.m. every Thur. DJ Infader every Fri. Nate Holley every Sat. RAGTIME TAVERN, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 241-7877 Kurt Lanham on Jan. 4. Mark Williams on Jan. 5. Retro Katz on Jan. 6 & 7. Storytellers on Jan. 8 RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 320 N. First St., 270-8565 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. SUN DOG, 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach, 241-8221 Billy & Trevor on Jan. 4. Tangle Box on Jan. 5. Cloud 9 on Jan. 6 & 7. Bread & Butter on Jan. 8. Open mic every Tue. Live music every Tue.-Sun. THE WINE BAR, 320 N. First St., 372-0211 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

DOWNTOWN

BURRO BAR, 228 E. Forsyth St., 353-4692 AC Deathstrike and Critter on Jan. 10. DJ Tin Man spins reggae & dub every Tue. DJ SuZi-Rok spins a variety every Thur. $Big Bucks DJ Crew$ every Sat. Bert No Shirt & Uncle Jesse every Sun. CITY HALL PUB, 234 Randolph Blvd., 356-6750 DJ Skillz spins Motown, hip hop & R&B every Wed. Live music every Tue. & Thur. Smooth Jazz Lunch at 11 a.m., Latin music at 9 p.m. every first Fri.; Ol’ Skool every last Fri. CLUB TSI, 333 E. Bay St. Live music every weekend DIVE BAR, 331 E. Bay St., 359-9090 Live music every weekend DOS GATOS, 123 E. Forsyth, 354-0666 DJ Synsonic spins every Tue. & Fri. DJ Rockin’ Bones spins every Wed. DJ Scandalous spins every Sat. DJ Randall Karaoke every Mon. THE IVY ULTRA BAR, 113 E. Bay St., 356-9200 DJs 151 The

Experience & C-Lo spin every Rush Hour Wed. DJ E.L. spins top 40, South Beach & dance classics every Pure Sat. MARK’S DOWNTOWN, 315 E. Bay St., 355-5099 DJ Vinn spins top 40 for ladies nite every Thur. Ritmo y Sabor every Fiesta Fri. BayStreet mega party with DJ Shotgun every Sat. MAVERICKS, Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., 356-1110 Gloriana at 6 p.m. on Jan. 14. Bobby Laredo spins every Thur. & Sat. Saddle Up every Sat. NORTHSTAR THE PIZZA BAR, 119 E. Bay St., 860-5451 Open mic night from 8:30-11:30 p.m. every Wed. THE PEARL, 1101 N. Main St., 791-4499 DJs Tom P. & Ian S. spin ’80s & indie dance every Fri. DJ Ricky spins indie rock, hip hop & electro every Sat. POPPY LOVE SMOKE, 112 E. Adams St., 354-1988 DJs Al Pete & Gene Dot spin for The Glossary at 10 p.m. every Sat. ZODIAC GRILL, 120 W. Adams St., 354-8283 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

BRUCCI’S PIZZA, 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36, 223-6913 Mike Shackelford at 6:30 p.m. every Sat. and Mon. CLIFF’S BAR & GRILL, 3033 Monument Rd., 645-5162 Big Engine at 9 p.m. on Jan. 6 & 7. DJ Jack spins for Karaoke dance party every Tue. & Sun. DJ Two3 spins for ladies nite every Wed. DJ Two4 spins every Thur. JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE, 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22, 220-6766 Live music on Jan. 7. Live music every Fri.

FLEMING ISLAND

AW SHUCKS OYSTER BAR & GRILL, 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd., 240-0368 Open mic with John O’Connor from 7-10 p.m. every Wed. Cafe Groove Duo, Jay Terry & John O’Connor, from 8-11 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Sat. CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 11475 San Jose Blvd., 262-4337 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. HARMONIOUS MONKS, 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., 880-3040 Karaoke from 9 p.m.-1 p.m. Mon.-Thur. Dennis Klee & the World’s Most Talented Waitstaff every Fri. & Sat. RACK ’EM UP BILLIARDS, 4268 Oldfield Crossing, 262-4030 Craig Hand every Sat. Karaoke at 7 p.m. every Sun. SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE, 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16, 538-0811 Live music from 6-9 p.m. every Fri. SUNBURST STUDIOS, 12641 San Jose Blvd., 485-0946 Open mic at 8:30 p.m. with My Friends Band every Mon. Karaoke at 8:30 with Josh every Tue. TREE STEAKHOUSE, 11362 San Jose Blvd., 262-0006 Boril Ivanov Trio at 7 p.m. every Thur. David Gum at 7 p.m. every Fri.

JULINGTON CREEK, NW ST. JOHNS

HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE, 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101, 683-1964 Live music at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. SHANNON’S IRISH PUB, 111 Bartram Oaks Walk, 230-9670 Live music every Fri. & Sat.

MANDARIN

MELLOW MUSHROOM, 1800 Town Center Blvd., 541-1999 Alex Affronti on Jan. 5. Wes Cobb on Jan. 6. Rebecca Day on Jan. 7. Open mic every Tue. Live music every Fri. & Sat. MERCURY MOON, 2015 C.R. 220, 215-8999 DJ Ty spins for ladies’ nite every Thur. Live music every Fri. & Sat. Buck Smith Project every Mon. Blistur unplugged every Wed. RUSH STREET/CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILL, 406 Old Hard Rd., Ste. 106, 213-7779 A DJ spins at 10 p.m. every Wed., Fri. & Sat. WHITEY’S FISH CAMP, 2032 C.R. 220, 269-4198 Karaoke on Jan. 4. DJ BG on Jan. 5. Deck music at 5 p.m., A1A at 9:30 p.m. on Jan. 5. Evans Acoustic Trio at 5 p.m., A1A at 9:30 p.m. on Jan. 6. Live music at 4 p.m. on Jan. 8. DJ BG every Mon.

INTRACOASTAL WEST

BREWSTER’S PIT, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Darkhorse Saloon, ASG and What About Me on Jan. 5. The Genitorturers on Jan. 13 BREWSTER’S PUB, 14003 Beach Blvd., Ste. 3, 223-9850 Open mic every Wed. Karaoke with DJ Randal & live music every Thur., Fri. & Sat. A DJ spins every Mon.

ORANGE PARK, MIDDLEBURG

CHEERS BAR & GRILL, 1580 Wells Rd., 269-4855 Karaoke at 9:30 p.m. every Wed. & Sat.

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Ian Witlen

every Thur. JOHNNY ANGELS, 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120, 997-9850 Harry & Sally from 7-9 p.m. every Wed. Karaoke from 7-10 p.m. every Sat. with Gimme the Mike DJs ISLAND GIRL CIGAR BAR, 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115, 854-6060 DiCarlo D-Lo Thompson on Jan. 4. Bryan Ripper on Jan. 5. Jimmy Solari on Jan. 6. The Druids on Jan. 7. Live music on weekends MELLOW MUSHROOM, 9734 Deer Lake Court, Ste. 1, 997-1955 Nate Holley on Jan. 6. Live music every Sat. SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY, 9735 Gate Parkway N., 997-1999 Chuck Nash every Thur. Live music at 10 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. SUITE, 4880 Big Island Dr., 493-9305 DJ Graham Funke on Jan. 13. Live music from 9 p.m.-mid. every Thur. and 6-9 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. URBAN FLATS, 9726 Touchton Rd., 642-1488 Live music every Fri. & Sat. WHISKY RIVER, 4850 Big Island Drive, 645-5571 A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. WILD WING CAFE, 4555 Southside Blvd., 998-9464 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Karaoke every Mon.

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

Wave of Mutilation! University of North Florida’s Osprey Radio presents locally bred indie faves Surfer Blood (pictured) and Gospel Music on Jan. 8 at 8 p.m. at the Student Union, Rm. 3703, Bldg. 58 W., UNF, on Jacksonville’s Southside. Admission is free; doors open at 7 p.m. ospreyradio.com CRACKERS LOUNGE, 1282 Blanding Blvd., 272-4620 Karaoke every Fri. & Sat. THE HILLTOP, 2030 Wells Rd., 272-5959 John Michael every Wed.-Sat. PARK AVENUE BILLIARDS, 714 Park Ave., 215-1557 Random Act from 7:30-11:30 p.m. every Mon. Bike Nite THE ROADHOUSE, 231 Blanding Blvd., 264-0611 Live music on Jan. 6 & 7. DJ Waldo every Tue. DJ Papa Sugar every Wed. Buck Smith Project every Mon.

PALATKA

DOWNTOWN BLUES BAR & GRILLE, 714 St. Johns Ave., (386) 325-5454 Local talent nite every Wed. Karaoke at 8 p.m. every Thur. Garage Band at 8 p.m. every Fri. Jam & open mic at 4 p.m. every Biker Sunday.

PONTE VEDRA

LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE, 301 N. Roscoe Blvd., 285-0139 Mike Shackelford & Rick Johnson from 7-10 p.m. every Fri. Tony Novelly from 6-10 p.m. every Mon. PUSSER’S CARIBBEAN GRILLE, 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, 280-7766 Danny Kent at 6 p.m. on Jan. 5. Billy Buchanan at 8 p.m. on Jan. 6. Murray Goff at 8 p.m. on Jan. 7. Live music every Thur.-Sun. URBAN FLATS, 330 A1A N., 280-5515 High Tides of Jazz at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 5. Darren Corlew every Tue. Soulo & Deron Baker at 6 p.m. every Wed.

RIVERSIDE, WESTSIDE

FLA RIDERS MOTORCYCLE CLUB, 243 S. Edgewood Ave. DJ DreOne spins every Wed. for open mic nite HJ’S BAR & GRILL, 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., 317-2783 Karaoke with DJ Ron at 8:30 p.m. every Tue. & DJ Richie at every Fri. Live music every Sat. Open mic at 8 p.m. every Wed. KICKBACKS, 910 King St., 388-9551 Ray & Taylor every Thur. Robby Shenk every Sun. LOMAX LODGE, 822 Lomax St., 634-8813 DJ Dots every Tue. Milan da Tin Man every Wed. DJ Christian every Sat. DJ Spencer every Sun. DJ Luminous every Mon. THE MURRAY HILL THEATRE, 932 Edgewood Ave., 388-7807 Garrett Harbison, Alexis Rhode, Bethany Stockdale, Cody Lewis and Adam Sams at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 6. The Tell Tale Heart, Gabriel the Marine, The Valley The Storm, This Armistice and True Company at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 7 PIZZA PALACE, 920 Margaret St., 598-1212 Jennifer Chase at 6:30 p.m. every Fri.

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS, 1 King St., 829-2977 Deron Baker on Jan. 5. The Grapes of Roth on Jan. 6 & 7 AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT, 1915 A1A S., 461-0102 Fermin Spanish guitar from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. ANN O’MALLEY’S, 23 Orange St., 825-4040 Live music on Jan. 13 THE BRITISH PUB, 213 Anastasia Blvd., 810-5111 Karaoke with Jimmy Jamez at 9 p.m. on Jan. 6. Songwriters open mic night with TJ Ward every Mon. CAFE ELEVEN, 501 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach, 460-9311 Cheryl Wheeler at 7 p.m. on Jan. 4. Boredom, Whaleface and The Uprise on Jan. 7 CELLAR UPSTAIRS, San Sebastian Winery, 157 King St., 826-1594 The Committee at 7 p.m. on Jan. 6. Deron Baker at

2 p.m., The Committee at 7 p.m. on Jan. 7. Vinny Jacobs from 2-5 p.m. on Jan. 8 CHICAGO PIZZA & BAKERY, 107 Natures Walk Pkwy., Ste. 101, 230-9700 Greg Flowers hosts open-mic and jazz piano from 7-10 p.m. every Tue. Live music every Fri. CRUISERS GRILL, 3 St. George St., 824-6993 Live music every Fri. & Sat. Chelsea Saddler every Sun. FLORIDA CRACKER CAFE, 81 St. George St., 829-0397 Lonesome Bert & the Skinny Lizard at 5:30 p.m. every Wed. THE GROOVE CAFE, 134 SeaGrove Main St., St. Augustine Beach, 547-2740 Rachel Carrick from 7-9 p.m. on Jan. 5. Those Guys from 7-10:30 p.m. on Jan. 6. Billy Buchanan & Free Ave. at 7 p.m. on Jan. 7 HARRY’S, 46 Avenida Menendez, 824-7765 Billy Bowers from 6-10 p.m. on Jan. 4 JACK’S BARBECUE, 691 A1A Beach Blvd., 460-8100 Jim Essery at 4 p.m. every Sat. Live music every Thur.-Sat. KING’S HEAD BRITISH PUB, 6460 U.S. 1, 823-9787 Mike Sweet from 6-8 p.m. every Thur. KOZMIC BLUZ PIZZA CAFE & ALE, 48 Spanish St., 825-4805 Live music every Fri., Sat. & Sun. MARDI GRAS SPORTS BAR, 123 San Marco Ave., 823-8806 Open jam nite with house band at 8 p.m. every Wed. Battle of the DJs with Josh Frazetta & Mardi Gras Mike every last Sun. MEEHAN’S IRISH PUB, 20 Avenida Menendez, 810-1923 Live music every Fri. & Sat. MI CASA CAFE, 69 St. George St., 824-9317 Chelsea Saddler noon-4 p.m. every Mon., Tue. & Thur. Elizabeth Roth at noon every Sun. MILL TOP TAVERN & LISTENING ROOM, 19 1/2 St. George St., 829-2329 Alan Dalton & Back from the Brink on Jan. 6 & 7. Colton McKenna on Jan. 8. Vinny Jacobs every Tue. Todd & Molly Jones every Wed. Colton McKenna at 9 p.m. every Thur. Will Pearsall at 9 p.m. every Mon. THE REEF, 4100 Coastal Hwy., Vilano Beach, 824-8008 Richard Kuncicky from 11 a.m.-2:30 p.m. every Sun. SANGRIAS WINE AND TAPAS PIANO BAR, 35 Hypolita St., 827-1947 Live music every Thurs.-Sun. SCARLETT O’HARA’S, 70 Hypolita St., 824-6535 Billy Bowers from 4-8 p.m. on Jan. 7. Lil Blaze & DJ Alex hosts Karaoke every Mon. SIRENS, 113 Anastasia Blvd., 460-2641 DJ Rob every Indie Monday SPY GLOBAL CUISINE & LOUNGE, 21 Hypolita St., 819-5637 Chad Allen from 6-10 p.m. on Jan. 5; at 8:30 p.m. on Jan. 7. Clayton Bush at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 6. Live music every Fri.-Sun. THE TASTING ROOM, 25 Cuna St., 810-2400 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger from 5-8 p.m. every Sun. TRADEWINDS, 124 Charlotte St., 829-9336 Live music at 9 p.m. on Jan. 6 & 7. Mark Hart every Mon.-Wed. Open mic every Thur. Mark Hart & Jim Carrick every Fri. Elizabeth Roth at 1 p.m., Mark Hart at 5 p.m. every Sat. Keith Godwin at 1 p.m., Wade at 5 p.m. every Sun. Matanzas at 9 p.m. Sun.-Thur.

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN

AROMAS CIGARS & WINE BAR, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live jazz from 8-11 p.m. every Tue. Beer house rock every Wed. Live music every Thur. Will Hurley every Fri. Bill Rice at 9 p.m. every Sat. BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE, 4840 Big Island Dr., 345-3466 Live music from 2-7 p.m. every Sun. THE GRAPE, 10281 Midtown Pkwy., 642-7111 Live music every Fri. & Sat. John Earle every Mon. DJ Mikeology

ENDO EXO, 1224 Kings Ave., 396-7733 DJ J-Money spins jazz, soul, R&B, house every Fri. DJ Manus spins top 40 & dance every Sat. Open mic with King Ron & T-Roy every Mon. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 1704 San Marco Blvd., 399-1740 Noah Peterson on Jan. 3. The Honey Dewdrops on Jan. 5. Annie Sellick’s Music and Joshua Bowlus Trio on Jan. 10. Jazz every 2nd Tue. HAVANA-JAX CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE, 2578 Atlantic Blvd., 399-0609 MVP Band from 6-9 p.m., DJs No Fame & Dr. Doom every Wed. Jazz every Thur. DJ Omar spins dance every Fri. DJs Harry, Rico & Nestor spin salsa every Sat. JACK RABBITS, 1528 Hendricks Ave., 398-7496 Poor Richards and Konami Code on Jan. 3. Set It Apart, Call It Captive, Just Like Gentlemen and City In Peril on Jan. 6. Nikki Dawson, Nobody on Land and Swag Session on Jan. 7 MATTHEW’S, 2107 Hendricks Ave., 396-9922 Bossa nova with Monica da Silva & Chad Alger at 7 p.m. every Thur. PIZZA PALACE, 1959 San Marco Blvd., 399-8815 Jennifer Chase at 7:30 p.m. every Sat. SQUARE ONE, 1974 San Marco Blvd., 306-9004 Greenhouse Lounge and Team Grime on Jan. 6. Soul on the Square with MVP Band & Special Formula at 8 p.m.; DJ Dr. Doom at 10:30 p.m. every Mon. DJs Wes Reed & Josh Kemp spin indie dance & electro at 9 p.m. every Wed. DJs Anonymous and Mickey Shadow every Sat.

SOUTHSIDE

AROMAS, 4372 Southside Blvd., Ste. 101, 928-0515 Live music from 8-11 p.m. every Tue., Wed. & Thur. Piano Bar with Will Hurley from 9 p.m.-1 a.m., a DJ spins till close every Fri. BOMBA’S, 8560 Beach Blvd., 997-2291 Open mic from 7-11 p.m. with Chris Hall every Tue. & every first Sun. Live music at 8 p.m. every Fri., at 6 p.m. every Sat. & at 5 p.m. every Sun. CORNER BISTRO & Wine Bar, 9823 Tapestry Park Cir., Ste. 1, 619-1931 Matt “Pianoman” Hall at 8 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. DAVE & BUSTER’S, 7025 Salisbury Rd. S., 296-1525 A DJ spins every Fri. EUROPEAN STREET CAFE, 5500 Beach Blvd., 399-1740 Rod MacDonald at 8 p.m. on Jan. 7 LATITUDE 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., 365-5555 SkyTrain at 8 p.m. on Jan. 6. Little Green Men at 8 p.m. on Jan. 7. Rockinaroake at 8 p.m. every Thur.

SPRINGFIELD, NORTHSIDE

BLUE DINER CAFE, 5868 Norwood Ave., 766-7774 Jazz from 7-9 p.m. every first Thur. BOOTS-N-BOTTLES, 12405 N. Main St., Ste. 7, Oceanway, 647-7798 Live music on Jan. 6. Karaoke every Tue., Thur. & Sun. with DJ Dave. Open mic every Wed. A DJ spins every Fri. & Sat. FLIGHT 747 LOUNGE, 1500 Airport Rd., 741-4073 Live music every Fri. & Sat. ’70s every Tue. RIVERCITY ISLAND GRILL & CHILL, 13141 City Station Drive, 696-0802 Live music every weekend SKYLINE SPORTSBAR & LOUNGE, 5611 Norwood Ave., 517-6973 Bigga Rankin & Cool Running DJs every Tue. & 1st Sun. Fusion Band & DJ every Thur. DJ Scar spins every Sun. THREE LAYERS CAFE, 1602 Walnut St., 355-9791 Will Pearsall at 7 p.m. on Jan. 6. Nikki Talley at 7 p.m. on Jan. 7. Goliath Flores at 1 p.m. on Jan. 8. Open mic nite with Al Poindexter at 7 p.m. every Thur. 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL, 2467 Faye Rd., 647-8625 Open mic at 8 p.m. every Thur. Woodie & Wyatt C. every Fri. Live music at 8 p.m. every Sat.  To get your band listed here, send all the vitals — band name, time, date, location of venue, with street address, city, admission price and contact number — to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email events@folioweekly.com.

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 27


Five From Florida

A look at the Sunshine State’s worthiest literary byproducts of the last year

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state that’s been home to both Hemingway and Hiaasen is bound to offer a wide variety of literary styles. The past year was no exception, producing a bumper crop of compelling fiction and nonfiction books. Winnowing through them all is no easy task, but here are five solid bets from homegrown authors, perfect for reading yourself or giving for New Year’s gifts. “I WORE THE OCEAN IN THE SHAPE OF A GIRL” Kelle Groom Free Press/Simon & Schuster

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eading this book can be a mind-altering experience, so strange and lyrical are the images and language; it’s like dreaming while awake or eavesdropping on someone else’s dreams. Or like being high — which Kelle Groom was, a lot. This memoir chronicles her attempts to get clean and to come to terms with the double loss of her son: First she gave him away at birth to a family member, then he died of leukemia before she could get straight and get to know him. But “I Wore the Ocean in the Shape of a Girl” is utterly unlike any other memoir I’ve read, a meandering assortment of episodes from a life foggy with indirection, occasionally pierced with a metaphor as brilliant, painful and targeted as a laser. Groom was both an associate artist and, later, an employee at New Smyrna Beach’s Atlantic Center for the Arts, a place she credits with transforming her life (readers may also recognize the bars and health-food stores, AA meetings and rehabs, of downtown Orlando and Winter Park). Lovers of language will get pleasurably lost in this account of the mysterious and gradual coalescence of self-identity. “CRAZY LITTLE THING: WHY LOVE AND SEX DRIVE US MAD”

Liz Langley Viva Editions/Cleis Press

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n this slim and snappy volume, sex blogger and former alt weekly columnist Liz Langley of Orlando Weekly examines the science of “how your hormones and neurotransmitters make you do really stupid things.” A compendium of interviews with scientists, therapists, authors, filmmakers and criminals, all nicely linked with personal anecdotes from Langley, “Crazy Little Thing” manages to reassure even the most unlucky in love that A) you’re not crazy — it’s all brain chemistry and B) there’s someone out there way, way crazier than you could ever be. For instance, Burt Pugach and Linda Riss: They dated, she found out he was married, she got engaged to someone else, so he hired someone to throw lye in her face. She’s blind and scarred and he did 14 years in prison, but now they’re happily married! Langley’s trademark bawdy humor is perfectly matched with the subject matter, and her deft turns of phrase — like when she

28 | folio weekly | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

describes a murderer-for-love as “tan and slender as a wooden flute” — make the science stuff almost poetic. The book makes a brave attempt to explain why “when we’re handed love’s lemons, some of us make lemonade … and some of us throw the lemons through the mirror and make boiled bunny soup.” “MULE: A NOVEL OF MOVING WEIGHT” Tony D’Souza Mariner/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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his novel about middle-class drug trafficking would make a great movie. In fact, once the notion entered my head, it was hard to shake it — beautiful young people in desperate situations, the thrill of the open highway and of, literally, getting away with it — and taken solely on that basis, “Mule” is a great read. But stripped of the druggy allure and moments of violence, it’s essentially a meditation on the failure of the American dream. When it’s this easy for James and Kate, a successful freelance journalist and his boutique-manager wife, to fall through the cracks, what’s wrong with the system? At least that seems to be the question at the novel’s core; as a minor character (a “hood” from Orlando’s Pine Hills neighborhood) puts it, “Shit’s exactly the same as shit’s always been. Y’all feeling it for a change is all.” Author Tony D’Souza has said that he was motivated to write “Mule” by facing the exact same situation as his protagonist. As James makes the loop from Northern California to Austin to Tallahassee to Sarasota, over and over again, drenched in existential terror, he’s eventually numbed, and that numbness infects the book’s nihilistic dénouement. Despite the hollow ending, though, it’s a thought-provoking examination of getting carried away.

“LUMINARIUM” Alex Shakar Soho Press

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red Brounian, the protagonist of “Luminarium,” is staring at transformation — a lot of it. His twin and business partner is in a coma; wiped out by his brother’s medical bills, he’s living with his parents; the tiny game studio the two of them founded has morphed into a military simulation software firm; and, taking advantage of the power vacuum left by the twins’ dual absence, their younger brother

Shakar’s evocation of the military-entertainment complex based in Orlando, of the megachurches and retention ponds of the relentlessly cheery Celebration, are spot-on. plans to move the business from New York to Orlando. It’s no wonder Fred’s willing to participate in a shady neurological experiment — not only does he need the cash, he’s sorely in need of the spiritual awakening the scientists claim to be able to replicate. “Luminarium” might be called a post-post-9/11 novel, in that it deals not with the immediate trauma of the event, but with the trauma resulting from the trauma — the ramifications of choices made in the aftermath. Shakar’s evocation of the military-entertainment complex based in Orlando, of the megachurches and retention

ponds of the relentlessly cheery Celebration, are spot-on, and the darkly comic scenes set in Kissimmee’s theme-park purgatory are worth the price of admission. The novel is rich with magic, absurdity and epistemological inquiry, and some really good Disney slams. “MILE MARKER ZERO: THE MOVEABLE FEAST OF KEY WEST” William McKeen Crown Publishing Group

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nyone hoping for a serious history of Key West will be disappointed by McKeen’s book — this is a collection of drinking tales cloaked in the sheepskin of a well-researched work of nonfiction. A few Florida historians have pointed out mistakes and incorrect assumptions (such as the true origin of the nickname for Key West natives, Conchs), and sometimes the broad-strokes approach goes wide, as in McKeen’s assertion that all of Key West’s year-rounders are “millionaires or homeless.” On the other hand, the book takes itself a bit too seriously to be purely a rollicking chronicle of the boozy benders of Ernest Hemingway, Tom McGuane and, yes, Jimmy Buffett. But these cavils miss the point of the book. Despite its not-quite-one-nor-t’otherness, “Mile Marker Zero” is an enjoyable slice of Key lime pie, replete with tangy, salacious tales of some of the more serious artists of the ’60s and ’70s who made their way down to the southernmost tip of the U.S. to “take part in the literary cock-measuring contest with Papa.” Hemingway, McGuane, Hunter S. Thompson — all were significantly shaped by their time in Key West, and fans of their writing will enjoy this book.  Jessica Bryce Young themail@folioweekly.com


The Beaches Fine Arts Series presents acclaimed pianist Jon Kimura Parker on Jan. 6 at 4 p.m. at St. Paul’s by-the-Sea Episcopal Church, 465 11th Ave N., Jax Beach. Parker is currently professor of piano at Rice University and has given recitals in London, New York, Chicago, Munich, Budapest, Sydney, Hong Kong and Tokyo. Paintings by Francesca Tabor-Moilla are on display during the concert. Admission is free. 270-1771.

PERFORMANCE NUNSENSE The smash off-Broadway musical comedy, about nuns who put on a variety show, is staged at 8 p.m. on Jan. 3-8 and 10, at 1:15 p.m. on Jan. 7 and at 2 p.m. on Jan. 8 at Alhambra Theatre & Dining, 12000 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. The show runs through Feb. 5. Tickets range from $42-$49. 641-1212. DASOTA DANCE Douglas Anderson School of the Arts Dance Department offers a choreography concert at 7 p.m. on Jan. 5 at the school’s theater, 2445 San Diego Road, Jacksonville. 346-5620. THE WILDEST Players by the Sea presents this Vegas-style cabaret show at 8 p.m. on Jan. 5, 6 and 7 and at 2 p.m. on Jan. 8 at 106 N. Sixth St., Jax Beach. The show runs through Jan. 21, with performances at 8 p.m. Thur.-Sat. and at 2 p.m. on Sun. Tickets are $25. 249-0289. WICKED The Broadway sensation, a humorous revisionist take on “The Wizard of Oz,” is staged at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 4, 5 and 10, at 8 p.m. on Jan. 6 and 7, at 1:30 p.m. on Jan. 5 and 8 and at 2 p.m. on Jan. 7 at Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Moran Theater, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. It continues with evening and matinee performances through Jan. 22. Tickets range from $61-$138. 632-3373. SPOKEN WORD AND AMATEUR NIGHT AT THE RITZ The Ritz Theatre & Museum presents spoken word at 7 p.m. on Jan. 5 and amateur night at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 6 at 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Admission to amateur night is $5.50; spoken word is free. 632-5555.

CALLS & WORKSHOPS VIDEO WORKSHOP AT BEACHES The Beaches Photography Club presents a workshop by Steve Scarborough, “Video Made Easy,” at 6 p.m. on Jan. 9 at Beaches Library, 600 Third St., Neptune Beach. Admission is free. 240-8835. ABET SEEKS ACTORS Atlantic Beach Experimental Theatre auditions for its upcoming original musical comedy production, “Fetterhoff for Hire,” at noon on Jan. 7 at 716 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. The cast calls for leading roles including four men (ages 20-60), one woman (30-40), and three men and three women for singing/dancing chorus roles. Bring a photo, résumé and Broadway-style sheet music. Dancers bring tap shoes. The show opens March 23. 249-7177. abettheatre.com PAINT BOB ROSS STYLE Let’s Paint offers weekly classes featuring certified instructors teaching the Bob Ross wet-on-wet paint technique at AC Moore, 9515 Crosshill Blvd., Jacksonville and at Build a Dream, Fleming Island Plantation, 2245 Plantation Center Drive, Fleming Island. Class fees vary. 777-6490, 375-1544. NORTH FLORIDA CONSERVATORY OF MUSIC This school invites musicians of all skill levels and any instrument to join the community orchestra every Mon. at 6:30 p.m. and concert band every Tue. at 6:30 p.m. at 11363 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 374-8639. CALL TO ARTISTS Jacksonville Fine Arts Festival seeks original poster artwork

for its festival held in Avondale’s Boone Park on March 24 and 25. The winning submission gets a free 10x10 exhibitor’s space. Send 300 dpi submissions, including name and media, to cookied@ix.netcom.com HAND DRUMMING CLASSES Midnight Sun offers classes from 7:30-8:30 p.m. every Fri. at 1055 Park St., Jacksonville. Class fee ispromise $10. 358-3869. of benefit CHEERLEADING AND DANCE AUDITION WORKSHOPS Former NFL cheerleaders teach the fundamentals in choreography, interview skills, attire and the audition process from 12:30-3:30 p.m. every other Sat. 476-3721. procheerleadersalumni.com ACTING LESSONS Joanna C. Horton offers eight-week acting classes for teens and adults in techniques ranging from introductory to advanced, starting Jan. 29 at The Performer’s Academy, 3674 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. Class fees start at $125. 814-3726, 322-7672.

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CLASSICAL & JAZZ NOAH PETERSON Saxophonist Peterson leads his combo through standards and originals at 8 p.m. on Jan. 3 at European Street Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 399-1740. MICHAEL BAKAN ENSEMBLE The World Music Showcase presents this eclectic combo at 11 a.m. and 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 6 at Friday Musicale, 645 Oak St., Jacksonville. 355-7584. JON KIMURA PARKER The Beaches Fine Arts Series presents acclaimed pianist Parker at 4 p.m. on Jan. 6 at St. Paul’s by-the-Sea Episcopal Church, 465 11th Ave N., Jax Beach. Paintings by Francesca Tabor-Moilla are on display during the concert. Admission is free. 270-1771. JAZZ AT THE RITZ Drummer Norman Connors performs at 7 and 10 p.m. on Jan. 7 at the Ritz Theatre & Museum, 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville. Advance tickets for each show are $21; $25 at the door. 632-5555. JAX SYMPHONY WITH JOSHUA BELL Grammy-winning violinist Bell joins the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra in a concert featuring Bruch’s Violin Concerto at 8 p.m. on Jan. 7 at the Times-Union Center for the Performing Arts’ Jacoby Symphony Hall, 300 W. Water St., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $35-$120. 354-5547. CLASSICAL IN ST. AUGUSTINE The EMMA Concert Series presents Trio Con Brio Copenhagen at 8 p.m. on Jan. 7 at Flagler College’s Auditorium, 14 Granada St., St. Augustine. Tickets are $25. 797-2800. FOLK AT UNITARIAN Folksinger Rod MacDonald performs at 10:45 a.m. on Jan. 8 at Unitarian Universalist Church, 7405 Arlington Expressway, Jacksonville. 725-8133. CUMMER CLASSICAL SERIES Cellist David Finckel and pianist Wu Han perform at 1:30 p.m. on Jan. 8 at The Cummer Museum of Art & Gardens, 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville. Admission is $10. 356-6857. PIANO RECITAL Pianist Tugce Tari appears at 2:30 p.m. on Jan. 8 at the Main Library’s Hicks Auditorium, 303 N. Laura St., Jacksonville. 630-2665. UNF TRUMPET RECITAL Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra trumpeter Brian Osborne

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 29

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performs at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 9 at University of North Florida’s Recital Hall, 1 UNF Drive, Jacksonville. 620-2878. ANNIE SELLICK WITH THE JOSHUA BOWLUS TRIO Vocalist Sellick performs with pianist Bowlus’ combo at 8 p.m. on Jan. 10 at European Street Café, 1704 San Marco Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets are $10. 399-1740. JAZZ ON THE SOUTHSIDE The Jazzland Café features live music every Thur. from 6-9 p.m. and Sat. at 8 p.m. at 1324 University Blvd. N., Jacksonville. 249-1009. JAZZ IN RIVERSIDE Trumpeter Ray Callender and guitarist Taylor Roberts play at 7 p.m. every Thur. at Kickbacks Gastropub, 910 King St., Jacksonville. 388-9551. JAZZ AT TREE STEAKHOUSE Boril Ivanov Trio plays at 7 p.m. every Thur. and pianist David Gum plays at 7 p.m. every Fri. at Tree Steakhouse, 11362 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. 262-0006. JAZZ AT GENNARO’S Gennaro’s Ristorante Italiano features live jazz at 7:30 p.m. every Fri. and Sat. at 5472 First Coast Highway, Fernandina Beach. 491-1999. JAZZ IN ST. AUGUSTINE Rhett’s Piano Bar & Brasserie features live jazz nightly at 7 p.m. at 66 Hypolita St., St. Augustine. 825-0502.

ART WALKS & FESTIVALS FIRST WEDNESDAY ART WALK This self-guided tour, themed “Little Van Gogh-Goghs,” is held from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 4 in downtown Jacksonville, spanning a 15-block radius of galleries, museums, bars and eateries. 634-0303 ext. 230. FIRST FRIDAY ART WALK This self-guided tour features 25 participating galleries from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 6 in downtown St. Augustine. 829-0065. DOWNTOWN FRIDAY MARKET Arts & crafts and local produce are offered every Fri. from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive. 353-1188.

MUSEUMS AMELIA ISLAND MUSEUM OF HISTORY 233 S. Third St., Fernandina Beach, 261-7378. The Brown Bag Lunch Lecture features Thea Seagraves, who discusses women’s fashion in the early 20th century, at noon on Jan. 4. The exhibit “The Civil War in Florida” is currently on display. BEACHES MUSEUM & HISTORY CENTER 413 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville Beach, 241-5657. Recent work by painters Leigh Murphy and Henry Von Genk III is featured through Jan. 10. CRISP-ELLERT ART MUSEUM 48 Sevilla St., St. Augustine, 826-8530. Photographer

Mark Ruwendel and Flagler Assistant Professor of Art Chris Balaschak are featured in a discussion at 7 p.m. on Jan. 12. The opening reception for Ruwendel’s exhibit “Shelter” is held from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 13. The show is on display through Feb. 24. CUMMER MUSEUM OF ART & GARDENS 829 Riverside Ave., Jacksonville, 356-6857. Cellist David Finckel and pianist Wu Han perform at 1:30 p.m. on Jan. 8. Admission is $10. The education-themed exhibit, “One in Three: Let’s Solve Our Dropout Crisis,” is displayed through Jan. 9. “Eugene Savage: The Seminole Paintings” runs through Jan. 8. “Beyond Ukiyo-e: Japanese Woodblock Prints and their influence on Western Art” is on display through Aug. 9. KARPELES MANUSCRIPT MUSEUM 101 W. First St., Jacksonville, 356-2992. Annmarie Benavidez’ “Prophetic Art” is on display from Jan. 5-Feb. 25. The permanent collection includes a variety of rare manuscripts. Open Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; Sat. from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART JACKSONVILLE 333 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 366-6911. First Coast Portfolio: The Works of Jacksonville Area Educators and the annual UNF Art & Design Faculty Exhibition are both on display through Jan. 22. Project Atrium features sculptor Gustavo Godoy’s installation “Empty Altar/Empty Throne” through March 11. The 200-piece photographic collection “Shared Vision: The Sondra and Celso Gonzalez-Falla Collection of Photography” and “Larry Clark: The Tulsa Series” are displayed through Jan. 8. mocajacksonville.org RITZ THEATRE & MUSEUM 829 N. Davis St., Jacksonville, 632-5555. Spoken word is featured at 7 p.m. on Jan. 5. Amateur night is held at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 6; admission is $5.50. Drummer Norman Connors performs at 7 and 10 p.m. on Jan. 7. Advance tickets for each performance are $21; $25 at the door. An exhibit celebrating local African-American athletes and sports figures, “More Than a Game: African-American Sports in Jacksonville, 1900-1975,” is currently on display. Admission is $8 for adults, $5 for children, students and seniors. Open Tue.-Sun. ST. AUGUSTINE PIRATE & TREASURE MUSEUM 12 S. Castillo Drive, St. Augustine. (877) 467-5863. This museum houses one of the largest collections of authentic pirate-related artifacts in the world, including the 17thcentury treasure chest of Captain Thomas Tew.

GALLERIES 111 E. BAY STREET 111 E. Bay St., Jacksonville. Artists Philip Cozma, Ryan Strasser, John Moore, Mike Erdeyli, Nick D’Agostine and Emily Copus are featured from 5-9 p.m. and a performance by F13RCE Dance Company, “Fire and Light,” with guest performers Billy Speed, Josh Yarborough, Pacci Hopkins and Nick Sacks, is featured at 7:30 p.m. on Jan. 4 during First Wednesday Art Walk.

Walter Coker

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Art Walk is encrypted lingo for a creative pub crawl! Northeast Florida art lovers can strut their stuff twice this week, with two self-guided tours. First up, First Wednesday Art Walk, the kid-friendly themed “Little Van Gogh-Goghs,” is held on Jan. 4 from 5-9 p.m. in downtown Jacksonville. 634-0303 ext. 230. On Friday, Jan. 6 from 5-9 p.m., downtown St. Augustine hosts its monthly First Friday Art Walk. 829-0065.

ADRIAN PICKETT GALLERY 2 Independent Drive, Ste. 112, Jacksonville, 962-2540. Original works by charcoal artist Adrian Pickett are featured from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 4 during First Wednesday Art Walk. THE ART CENTER PREMIERE GALLERY Bank of America Tower, 50 N. Laura St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. The juried still life show “Static Studies” is on display through Jan. 17. THE ART CENTER II 229 N. Hogan St., Jacksonville, 355-1757. The group show “Figures” is featured from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 4 during First Wednesday Art Walk. BEE GALLERY & DESIGN STUDIO The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Dr., Ste. 108, 419-8016. Thomas J. Vercher is featured from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 4 during First Wednesday Art Walk. C GALLERY Daryl Bunn Studios, 643 Edison Ave., Jacksonville, 525-3368. The exhibit, “A Woman’s World,” featuring works by Megan Cosby, Christina Foard, Louise Freshman Brown, Sara Pedigo and Amy Vigilante, runs through Jan. FIRST STREET GALLERY 216-B First St., Neptune Beach, 241-6928. Mermaid Magic runs from Jan. 18-Feb. 20. FLORIDA MINING GALLERY 5300 Shad Road, Jacksonville, 535-7252. “Geoff Mitchell: Entries of a Diary Thief” is displayed through Jan. GALLERY 1037 Reddi-Arts, 1037 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville, 398-3161. Gunnel Humphreys, Troy Eittreim and Gerry Charm are the featured artists through Feb. HASKELL GALLERY Jax International Airport, 14201 Pecan Park Road, 741-3546. Recent paintings by Ginny Elliot and Suzi Berg are displayed through Jan. 9. HIGH TIDE GALLERY 51 Cordova St., St. Augustine, 829-6831. Kathy Frosio, Ken Jensen, Kyle Hunter Goodwin and Barbara Green are featured from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 6 during First Friday Art Walk. W.A. KNIGHT BUILDING 118 E. Adams St., Jacksonville. Thief in the Knight and Dig Foods offer an a la carte vegan dinner from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 4 during First Wednesday Art Walk. PLUM GALLERY 9 Aviles St., St. Augustine, 825-0069. Sydney McKenna, Sara Pedigo, M.H. Myers, Karen Sheridan and Susanna RichterHelman are featured through Jan. ROTUNDA GALLERY St. Johns County Admin. Bldg., 500 San Sebastian View, St. Augustine, 471-9980. The exhibit “It’s Not Just Black and White: The Black and White Show,” featuring recent works by Leslie Robison and Laura Mongiovi, is on display through Feb. 16. SIMPLE GESTURES GALLERY 4 White St. E., St. Augustine, 827-9997. This funky gallery is open from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 6 during First Friday Art Walk. SOUTHLIGHT GALLERY 6 E. Bay St., Jacksonville, 438-4358. David Montgomery is the featured guest artist for Jan. SPACE:EIGHT GALLERY Screen Arts, 228 W. King St., St. Augustine, 829-2838. Derek Hess’ exhibit “Half the time it could seem funny … the other half is just too sad” is displayed through Jan. ST. AUGUSTINE ART ASSOCIATION 22 Marine St., St. Augustine, 824-2310. The opening reception for the juried Figure & Portrait Show is held from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 6 during First Friday Art Walk. The exhibit runs through Jan. 29. STUDIO 121 121 W. Forsyth St., Ste. 100, Jacksonville, 292-9303. Artists Doug Eng, Joyce Gabiou, Robert Leedy, Terese Muller, Mary St. Germain, Tony Wood and Bill Yates are featured through Jan. VANDROFF ART GALLERY Jewish Community Alliance, 8505 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville, 730-2100. The photography of Barbara Jerrold is displayed through Jan. 25. VILLAGE GALLERY AND FRAMING 358B Stiles Ave., Orange Park. 264-7151. Sonya Cox, Carolyn Ann Day and Heidi Larson Lane are featured through Jan. VIOLET 1007 Park St., Jacksonville, 355-4449. This boutique features a display of works by Megan Cosby through Jan. W.B. TATTER STUDIO GALLERY 76 A San Marco Ave., St. Augustine, 823-9263. Batik works by Wendy Tatter are featured from 5-9 p.m. on Jan. 6 during First Friday Art Walk.  For a complete list of galleries, log on to folioweekly.com. To list your event, send time, date, location (street address, city), admission price and contact number to print to Dan Brown, 9456 Philips Hwy., Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256 or email dbrown@folioweekly.com. Events are included on a space-available basis.


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EVENTS FLAGLER COLLEGE TOURS Historical tours of Flagler College’s Ponce de Leon Hotel are conducted at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. daily, departing from 74 King St., St. Augustine. Tickets are $7 for adults, $5 for St. Augustine residents with a valid ID, and $1 for kids younger than 12. 823-3378. COSMIC CONCERTS First Friday Floyd features Pink Floyd: The Wall, Matinee at 5 p.m., Pink Floyd: Wish You Were Here at 6 p.m., Pink Floyd: Dark Side of the Moon at 7 p.m. and Pink Floyd: Best of the Wall at 8 p.m. on Jan. 6 in Bryan-Gooding Planetarium, at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. 396-7062. moshplanetarium.org FLORIDA WWII EXHIBIT “Victory Begins at Home: Florida During World War II” shows Floridians in service, military recruitment and training, the German U-boat threat and rationing, at Museum of Science and History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville, through July 8. 396-7062. themosh.org LINCOLNVILLE FARMERS’ MARKET The weekly market, held from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. every Sun. at 399 Riberia St., St. Augustine, offers local and organic produce, baked goods, coffees, cheeses, prepared foods, crafts and jewelry at the south end of Lincolnville in Eddie Vickers Park. There’s a community garden, too. lincolnvillefarmersmarket.com MATERIALS SCIENCE EXHIBIT The hands-on exhibit, “Strange Matter,” is presented through May 13 at Museum of Science & History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. A blend of physics, chemistry and engineering, “materials sceince” is the field of research that studies how things are put together, how they could iproved, or how they can change to create new materials. From metals to crystals to magnets to glass, “Strange Matter” digs into the science behind everyday materials. 396-6674. themosh.org

POLITICS, BUSINESS & ACTIVISM INFRASTRUCTURE PANEL DISCUSSION “Jacksonville’s Infrastructure: A Local, State and Federal Perspective,” a panel discussion with representatives from JTA, JAA and JAXPORT, is held from 8-10 a.m. on Jan. 5 at Hyatt Regency Riverfront, 225 East Coastline Dr., Jacksonville. Former Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell is the featured speaker. Tickets are $20 for Chamber members, $25 for nonmembers. 366-6600 ext. 7610. myjaxchamber.com CHILD SUPPORT MODIFICATION WORKSHOP Learn how to file for a modification in child support obligations, because of a job loss or other change in circumstances, at 5:30 p.m. on Jan. 9 in Courtroom 1, second floor, at the Clay County Courthouse, 825 N. Orange Ave., Green Cove Springs. This is a free workshop sponsored by Jacksonville Area Legal Aid. No reservation is needed. 356-8371. jaxlegalaid.org SOUTHSIDE BUSINESS MEN’S CLUB An awards ceremony and new board member installation are held at noon on Jan. 4 at San Jose Country Club, 7529 San Jose Blvd., Jacksonville. Admission is $20. For reservations, call 396-5559.

LIBRARIES, BOOKS & WRITING WELCOME SNOWBIRDS The Friends of the Anastasia Island Library offer free refreshments and calendars, as well as tote bags for purchase. Membership information and free book giveaways are also held from 10 a.m.-8 p.m. on Jan. 3 in the library’s events room, 124 Seagrove Main St., St. Augustine Beach. 209-3730. BOOK CLUB Emma Donoghue’s novel “Room” is discussed from 10 a.m.-noon on Jan. 7 at the Fleming Island Library, 1895 Town Center Blvd., Fleming Island. 278-3722. SISTERS IN CRIME The Florida Sisters in Crime get together from 10:30 a.m.-noon on Jan. 7 at Southeast Regional Library, 10599 Deerwood Park Blvd., Jacksonville. Florida Highway Patrol Lt. Bill Leeper is the featured speaker. Admission is free. floridasistersincrime.com

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Ice, Ice Baby! Jacksonville Ice & Sportsplex offers a free day of ice hockey and ice skating clinics on Jan. 7 from 8 a.m.-noon at 3605 Philips Hwy., Southside. Learn-to-play hockey clinics and learn-to-skate clinics, music and prizes are featured. Attendees who stay after the free clinics for the regular 2-4 p.m. public skating session can do so for half the normal rate of $6. 399-3223.

COMEDY TIM PULNIK Comedy Zone Allstars appear at 8 p.m. on Jan. 4. Comedian Tim Pulnik appears at 8 p.m. on Jan. 5 and 6 and at 8 and 10 p.m. on Jan. 7 at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $6-$12. 292-4242. JACKIE KNIGHT’S COMEDY CLUB Peter Hefty and Herman Nazworth appear at 8:30 p.m. on Jan. 6 and 7 at 3009 N. Ponce de Leon Blvd., St. Augustine. Tickets are $8 and $12. 461-8843. LATITUDE 30 COMEDY Carmen Vallone appears at 8 p.m. on Jan. 6 and 7 at Latitude 30, 10370 Philips Hwy., Jacksonville. Tickets are $13. 365-5555.

UPCOMING

TIM CONWAY & FRIENDS Jan. 19, Thrasher-Horne Center THE SPENCERS: THEATRE OF ILLUSION Jan. 20, The Florida Theatre RON WHITE: MORAL COMPASS TOUR Jan. 26, T-U Center’s Moran Theater ELVIS LIVES Jan. 28, T-U Center’s Moran Theater LE BALLETS TROCKADERO Jan. 31, T-U Center’s Moran Theater TYLER PERRY’S “THE HAVES AND THE HAVE NOTS” Feb. 1, T-U Moran Theater MICHAEL FELDMAN’S WHAD’YA KNOW? Feb. 4, The Florida Theatre SECOND CITY TOURING COMPANY Feb. 5, Ponte Vedra Concert Hall FOLIO WEEKLY’S BITE CLUB Feb. 7, Taverna Yamas JEFF DUNHAM CONTROLLED CHAOS Feb. 10, Veterans Memorial Arena CELTIC WOMAN: BELIEVE Feb. 15, T-U Moran Theater LACROSSE CLASSIC Feb. 19, EverBank Field HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS March 2, Veterans Arena AMELIA ISLAND GARDEN SHOW

March 3 & 4, Central Park, Fernandina Beach ROYAL COMEDY TOUR March 9, Veterans Memorial Arena PRES. BILL CLINTON March 19, St. Augustine Amphitheatre

NATURE, SPORTS & OUTDOORS BROWN BAG LUNCH LECTURE Guana Tolomato Matanzas Research Reserve holds a free brown bag lunch lecture at noon on Jan. 6 at the Environmental Education Center, 505 Guana River Road, Ponte Vedra. GTM Biological Scientist Max Henzler discusses aspects of reproduction and diet in a coastal South Carolina population of longnose gar. Bring a lunch. Reservations are required; call 823-4500. KICKS FOR STICKS 5K & FUN RUN The Crosse Foundation, the charitable organization of the Jacksonville Bullies, holds this inaugural fundraising and awareness event at 9 a.m. on Jan. 8 at The Jacksonville Landing, 2 Independent Drive, downtown. “The Biggest Loser” contestants Olivia Ward and her sister Hannah Curlee are on hand. Proceeds benefit the Lighthouse Lacrosse Foundation, a nonprofit agency that advances and supports the sport of lacrosse in Northeast Florida and other activities that benefit the community. Registration is open online at 1stplacesports.com. 353-1188. FREE ICE SKATING A free day of ice hockey and ice skating clinics is held from 8 a.m.-noon on Jan. 7 at Jacksonville Ice & Sportsplex, 3605 Philips Hwy., Southside. Learn-to-play hockey clinics and learn-to-skate clinics, music and prizes are featured. Attendees who’d like to stay after the free clinics for the regular 2-4 p.m. public skating session can do so for half-price of the normal rate, which is $6, including rentals. 399-3223. jacksonvilleiceandsportsplex.com SIERRA CLUB Utah’s Red Rock Wilderness is discussed at 6:30 p.m. on Jan. 9 at Lakewood Presbyterian Church, 2001 University Blvd. W., Jacksonville. Jackie Feinberg of the Utah Wilderness Alliance shares a multimedia slide show narrated by Robert Redford. Admission is free. Bring your own cup to reduce waste in the landfill. 247-1876.

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 31


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UNF OSPREYS BASKETBALL The UNF men’s and women’s basketball teams take on their Lipscomb University Bisons counterparts at 5:30 and 7:45 p.m. on Jan. 4 at University of North Florida Arena, 4567 St. Johns Bluff Road S., Jacksonville. Admission is $12 for reserved, $10 for adults, $8 for youth, seniors, military, UNF staff. UNF students are admitted free with Osprey 1Card. 620-2125. unf.edu TALBOT ISLANDS’ CRITTERS A park ranger discusses the many common species that inhabit the natural communities of the undeveloped barrier islands of Northeast Florida at 2 p.m. on Jan. 7 at the multiuse trail pavilion, south beach area, Little Talbot Island State Park, 12157 Heckscher Drive, Jacksonville. No reservations are necessary and the program is free with regular park admission. 251-2320. floridastateparks.org JACKSONVILLE GIANTS The local ABA basketball team is up against the Atlanta Experience at 7 p.m. on Jan. 7 at Veterans Memorial Arena, 300 Randolph Blvd., Jacksonville. Tickets range from $8$100. 355-6531, 630-3900. jacksonvillegiants.com JACKSONVILLE BULLIES LACROSSE Tickets are now available for the inaugural season of this new local North American Lacrosse League team — the first game (against the Kentucky Stickhorses) is at 7 p.m. on Jan. 28 at Veterans Memorial Arena. Individual game tickets start at $10. For ticket info, call 379-2655 or go to jaxbullies.com LADY PACERS TRYOUTS The Jacksonville Pacers AAU youth basketball nonprofit organization seeks serious players. Girls in grades 7-11 who want to try out may call Coach Martin at 608-5327. ROWING The Jacksonville Rowing Club offers adult sweep classes in Jan.; eight sessions on Sat. and Sun. mornings. No experience or equipment is necessary. Adult memberships and youth programs are also available. 304-8500. jaxrow.org

COMMUNITY INTEREST SENIOR DAYS AT MOSH The program is held at 9:45 a.m. on Jan. 4 at Museum of Science and History, 1025 Museum Circle, Jacksonville. Dr. Paula Salas, St. Vincent’s Primary Care discusses the role nutrition plays in good health. Admission is $6. Reservations are required and are based on availability. 396-6674, ext. 226. themosh.org GREATER JACKSONVILLE CFA CAT SHOW Up to 450 purebred cats and kittens compete for prizes from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. on Jan. 7 and from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. on Jan. 8 at Morocco Shrine Auditorium, 3800 St. Johns Bluff

Rd. S., Jacksonville. Admission is $5 for adults, $4 for seniors, military and kids younger than 5. 269-5871. HERITAGE SINGERS NEED TENORS This group is seeking singers in all voice ranges, especially tenors. Auditions are held at 6 p.m. on Jan. 9 in the music building at South Jacksonville Presbyterian Church, 2137 Hendricks Ave., Jacksonville. 434-4625. heritagesingjax@aol.com CALL FOR VENDORS Art & About, a fine art and music event to be held on April 14, 2012 at Orange Park Town Hall Park, seeks crafts and food vendors. To download vendor applications, go to www.artguildoforangepark.com. For details, email info@artguildoforangepark.com.

CLASSES & GROUPS LSAT PREP COURSE Prep for the law school test is held at 6 p.m. on Jan. 4 at University of North Florida’s University Center, 12000 Alumni Drive, Jacksonville. The $695 course fee includes a diagnostic exam and materials. 620-4200. unf.edu/ce DEPRESSION BIPOLAR SUPPORT GROUP The DBSA support group meets from 5:30-7 p.m. every Wed. at River Point Behavioral Health’s Outpatient Building, 6300 Beach Blvd., Jacksonville. 343-6511 or 964-9743. Q-GROUP ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS This free, open discussion is held at 5:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri. at Quality Life Center, 11265 Alumni Way, Jacksonville. alcoholicanonymous.org DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE This support group meets from 6-7:30 p.m. every Tue. at Baptist Medical Center, 800 Prudential Drive, Jacksonville. For more information, call 616-6264 or 294-5720. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Do you have a drug problem? Maybe they can help. 358-6262, 723-5683. serenitycoastna.org, firstcoastna.org NICOTINE ANONYMOUS (NIC-A) Want to quit smoking or using other forms of nicotine? Nic-A is free, and you don’t have to quit to attend the meetings, held at 6:30 p.m. every Tue. at Quality Life Center, 11265 Alumni Way, Southside. 378-6849. nicotineanonymous.org NAR-A-NON This group meets at 8 p.m. every Tue. and Thur. at 4172 Shirley Ave., Avondale. 945-7168.  To get in this listing, email the time, date, location (street address, city) admission price and contact number to events@folioweekly.com or click the link in our Happenings section at folioweekly.com. Events are included on a spaceavailable basis.

Show me the funny! Comedian Tim Pulnik appears on Jan. 5 and 6 at 8 p.m. and on Jan. 7 at 8 and 10 p.m. at The Comedy Zone, 3130 Hartley Road, Ramada Inn, Jacksonville. Tickets are $6-$12. 292-4242.

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Average Entrée Cost: $ = Less than $8 $$ = $8-$14 $$$ = $15-$22 $$$$ = $23 & up BW = Beer, Wine FB = Full Bar CM = Children’s Menu TO = Take Out B = Breakfast L = Lunch D = Dinner F = Folio Weekly distribution point Send changes to mdryden@folioweekly.com

AMELIA ISLAND, FERNANDINA BEACH, YULEE

(In Fernandina Beach unless otherwise noted.) THE BEECH STREET GRILL Fine dining in a casual atmosphere. The menu includes fresh local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes created with a variety of ethnic influences. Award-winning wine list. FB. L, Wed.-Fri.; D, nightly; Sun. brunch. 801 Beech St. 277-3662. $$$ BRETT’S WATERWAY CAFÉ F At the foot of Centre Street, the upscale restaurant overlooks the Harbor Marina. The menu includes daily specials, fresh Florida seafood and an extensive wine list. FB. L & D, daily. 1 S. Front St. 261-2660. $$$ BRIGHT MORNINGS The small café offers freshly baked goods. B & L daily. 105 S. Third St. 491-1771. $$ CAFÉ 4750 At the Italian kitchen and wine bar, Chef de Cuisine Garrett Gooch offers roasted sea bass, frutti di mare soup, clam linguini, panatela bruschetta and fresh gelatos. Dine indoors or on the terrace. FB. B, L & D, daily. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$$ CAFÉ KARIBO F Eclectic cuisine, served under the oaks in historic Fernandina, features sandwiches and chef’s specials. Alfresco dining. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sat.; L, Sun. & Mon. 27 N. Third St. 277-5269. $$ CHEZ LEZAN BAKERY F European-style breads, pastries, croissants, muffins and pies baked daily. 1014 Atlantic Ave. 491-4663. $ EIGHT Contemporary sports lounge offers burgers, sandwiches, wings and nachos. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Fri. & Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 277-1100. $$ ESPAÑA RESTAURANT & TAPAS Traditional Spanish and Portuguese dishes, tapas and paella served in a cozy atmosphere. BW, CM. D nightly. 22 S. Fourth St. 261-7700. $$$ FERNANDELI F Classics with a Southern touch, like a onethird-pound devil dog, Reubens and pulled pork. Sandwiches and wraps built to order from fresh cold cuts, tuna, egg and turkey salads. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 17B S. Eighth St. 261-0008. $ GENNARO’S RISTORANTE ITALIANO F Southern Italian cuisine: pasta, gourmet ravioli, hand-tossed pizzas. Specialties are margharita pizza and shrimp feast. Bread is baked on-site. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 5 S. Second St., 261-9400. 5472 First Coast Highway, Amelia Island, 491-1999. $$ HAPPY TOMATO COURTYARD CAFE & BBQ Pulled pork sandwich, chicken salad and walnut chocolate chunk cookie, served in a laid-back atmosphere. BW. CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 7 S. Third St. 321-0707. $$ JACK & DIANE’S F Casual cafe offers steak & eggs, pancakes, Cajun scampi, etouffée, curry pizza, vegan black bean cakes, shrimp & grits, hand-carved steaks. FB. B, L & D, daily. 708 Centre St. 321-1444. $$ JOE’S 2ND STREET BISTRO Elegant island atmosphere. NY strip steak with sauces, Maine crab cakes, seafood fricassee and roast chicken penne pasta. BW. CM. D, nightly. 14 S. Second St. 321-2558. $$$ KABUKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Teppanyaki masters create your meal; plus a 37-item sushi bar. BW. D, Tue.-Sun. Amelia Plaza. 277-8782. $$ KELLEY’S COURTYARD CAFE F She crab soup, salads, fried green tomatoes, sandwiches and wraps are served indoors or out on the patio. Vegetarian dishes are also offered. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 19 S. Third St. 432-8213. $ LULU’S AT THE THOMPSON HOUSE F An innovative lunch menu includes po’boys and seafood “little plates” served in a historic house. Dinner features fresh local seafood. Nightly specials. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat., brunch on Sun. Reservations recommended. 11 S. Seventh St. 432-8394. $$ MONTEGO BAY COFFEE CAFE Locally owned and operated, with specialty coffees, fruit smoothies. Dine in or hit the drivethru. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 463363 S.R. 200, Yulee. 225-3600. $ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Northernstyle pizza by the pie or the slice. Choose from more than 20 toppings. Owner-selected wines and a large beer selection. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 925 S. 14th St. 321-3400. $ THE MUSTARD SEED CAFE Organic eatery, juice bar. Extensive menu features vegetarian, vegan items. Daily specials: local seafood, free-range chicken, fresh organic produce. CM. B & L, Mon.-Sat. 833 TJ Courson Rd. 277-3141. $$ O’KANE’S IRISH PUB F Rustic, genuine Irish pub up front, eatery in back, featuring daily specials, fish-n-chips, and soups served in a sourdough bread bowl. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sun. 318 Centre St. 261-1000. $$ PEPPER’S MEXICAN GRILL & CANTINA F The family restaurant offers authentic Mexican cuisine. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 520 Centre St. 272-2011. $$ PICANTE GRILL ROTISSERIE BAR F Flavors of Peru and Latin America, served in a modern atmosphere. Authentic Peruvian cebiche and homestyle empanadas. BW, CM, TO. B, L

& D daily. 464073 S.R. 200, Ste. 2, Yulee. 310-9222. $$ PLAE In Spa & Shops at Omni Amelia Island Plantation, the cozy venue offers an innovative and PLAEful dining experience. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, nightly. 277-2132. $$$ SALT, THE GRILL Best of Jax 2011 winner. Elegant dining featuring local seafood and produce, served in a contemporary coastal setting. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. The RitzCarlton, 4750 Amelia Island Pkwy., Amelia Island. 491-6746. $$$$ SANDOLLAR RESTAURANT & MARINA F Dine inside or on the deck. Snow crab legs, fresh fish, shellfish dishes. FB. L & D, daily. 9716 Heckscher Dr., Ft. George Island. 251-2449. $$ SLIDERS SEASIDE GRILL F Oceanfront dining; local seafood, shrimp, crab cakes, outdoor beachfront tiki & raw bar, covered deck and kids’ playground. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1998 S. Fletcher Ave. 277-6652. $$ THE SURF F Dine inside or on the large oceanview deck. Steaks, fresh fish, shrimp and nightly specials. Late-night Alphadog Grill is a newly opened dog house featuring hot dogs served every style, plus wraps, salads and appetizers on Park Street in Riverside. menu. FB. L & D, daily. 3199 S. Fletcher Ave. 261-5711. $$ T-RAY’S BURGER STATION F A favorite local spot; Best of Jax 2011 winner. Grilled or THE FOX RESTAURANT F The Fox has been a Jacksonville atmosphere. Chef Aphayasane’s innovative creations include landmark for 50-plus years. Owners Ian & Mary Chase serve roast duckling and fried snapper. BW. R. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.blackened fish sandwiches, homemade burgers. BW, TO. B & classic diner-style fare, homemade desserts. B & L daily. 3580 Sat. 9846 Old Baymeadows Rd. 645-9911. $$ L, Mon.-Sat. 202 S. Eighth St. 261-6310. $ St. Johns Ave. 387-2669. $ MANDALOUN MEDITERRANEAN CUISINE F The Lebanese 29 SOUTH EATS F Part of historic Fernandina Beach’s GREEN MAN GOURMET Organic and natural products, spices, restaurant offers authentic cuisine: lahm meshwe, kafta downtown scene. Award-winning Chef Scotty serves teas, salts, BW. Open daily. 3543 St. Johns Ave. 384-0002. $ khoshkhas and baked filet of red snapper. CM, FB. L & D, daily. traditional world cuisine with a modern twist. L, Tue.-Sat.; D, MOJO NO. 4 F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 3572 9862 Old Baymeadows Rd. 646-1881. $$ Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 29 S. Third St. 277-7919. $$ St. Johns Ave. 381-6670. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax ORSAY Best of Jax 2011 winner. The French/American bistro 2011 winner. The organic supermarket offers a full deli and a focuses on craftsmanship and service. FB. D, Tues.-Sat.; hot bar with fresh soups, quesadillas, rotisserie chicken and EAST COAST BUFFET F A 160+ item Chinese, Japanese, Brunch & D, Sun. 3630 Park St. 381-0909. $$$ vegan sushi, as well as a fresh juice and smoothie bar. 11030 American and Italian buffet. Dine in, take out. FB. L & D, TOM & BETTY’S F A Jacksonville tradition for more than 30 Baymeadows Rd. 260-2791. $ Mon.-Sat.; Sun. brunch. 9569 Regency Sq. Blvd. N. years, Tom & Betty’s serves hefty sandwiches with classic car OMAHA STEAKHOUSE Center-cut beef, seafood, sandwiches 726-9888. $$ themes, along with homemade-style dishes. CM, FB. L & D, served in an English tavern atmosphere. The signature dish KABUTO JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR Steak & Mon.-Sat. 4409 Roosevelt Blvd. 387-3311. $$ is a 16-ounce bone-in ribeye. Desserts include crème brûlée. shrimp, filet mignon & lobster, shrimp & scallops, a sushi bar, ’town F Owner Meghan Purcell and Executive Chef Scott FB. L & D, daily. 9300 Baymeadows Rd., Embassy Suites Hotel. teppanyaki grill and traditional Japanese cuisine. CM, FB. L & Ostrander bring farm-to-table to Northeast Florida, offering 739-6633. $$ D, daily. 10055 Atlantic Blvd. 724-8883. $$$ American fare with an emphasis on sustainability. FB. L & D, ORANGE TREE HOT DOGS F Hot dogs with slaw, chili LA NOPALERA Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal. Mon.-Sat. 3611 St. Johns Ave. 345-2596. $$ cheese, sauerkraut; and small pizzas. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 8380 8818 Atlantic Blvd. 720-0106. $$ Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 4. 733-0588. orangetreehotdogs.com $ MEEHAN’S TAVERN F The Irish pub and restaurant serves PATTAYA THAI GRILLE F Traditional Thai and vegetarian AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 8060 beef and Guinness stew, Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, items and a 40-plus item vegetarian menu served in a Philips Hwy. 731-4300. $ traditional lamb stew, jalapeño poppers, in a comfy contemporary atmosphere. B/W. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 BROADWAY RISTORANTE & PIZZERIA F Family-ownedatmosphere. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 9119 Merrill Rd., Ste. 5. Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1. 646-9506. $$ &-operated New York-style pizzeria serves hand-tossed, 551-7076. $$ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 3928 Baymeadows Rd. brick-oven-baked pizza, traditional Italian dinners, wings, subs. NERO’S CAFE F Traditional Italian fare, including seafood, 527-8649. $$ Delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 10920 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 3. veal, beef, chicken and pasta dishes. Weekly specials are STICKY FINGERS F Memphis-style rib house specializes in 519-8000. $$ lasagna, 2-for-1 pizza and AYCE spaghetti. CM, FB. L, Sun.; D, barbecue ribs served several ways. FB. L & D, daily. 8129 Point daily. 3607 University Blvd. N. 743-3141. $$ CAFE CONFLUENCE F The European coffeehouse serves Meadows Way. 493-7427. $$ REGENCY ALE HOUSE & RAW BAR Generous portions and Italian specialty coffees and smoothies, along with paninis, UDIPI CAFE Authentic South Indian vegetarian cuisine. L & D, friendly service in a nautical atmosphere. Fresh fish, specialty salads and European chocolates. Outdoor dining. BW. L & D, Tue.-Fri. 8642 Baymeadows Rd. 402-8084. $ pastas, fresh oysters and clams. BW. L & D, daily. 9541 Tue.-Sun. 8612 Baymeadows Rd. 733-7840. $ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 9910 Old Regency Square Blvd. S. 720-0551. $$ CHA-CHA’S MEXICAN RESTAURANT F Owner Celso Baymeadows Rd. 641-7171. $ TREY’S DELI & GRILL F Fresh food served in a relaxed Alvarado offers authentic Mexican fare with 26 combo dinners atmosphere. Burgers, Trey’s Reuben, deli sandwiches, pork, and specialty dishes including chalupas, enchiladas, burritos. steaks, seafood, pies. Prime rib specials every Fri. night. CM, FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9551 Baymeadows Rd. 737-9903. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F Chicago-style deep(In Jax Beach unless otherwise noted.) BW. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 2044 Rogero Rd. 744-3690. $$ dish pizzas, hot dogs, Italian beef dishes from the Comastro A LA CARTE Authentic New England fare like Maine lobster UNIVERSITY DINER F The popular diner serves familiar family, serving authentic Windy City favorites for 25+ years. rolls, fried Ipswich clams, crab or clam cake sandwich, fried breakfast fare and lunch like meatloaf, burgers, sandwiches: CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy. 731-9797. $$ shrimp basket, haddock sandwich, clam chowdah, birch beer wraps, BLTs, clubs, melts. Daily specials. BW. B & L, Sat. & DEERWOOD DELI & DINER F The ’50s-style diner serves and blueberry soda. Dine inside or on the deck. TO. L, Fri.-Tue. Sun.; B, L & D, Mon.-Fri. 5959 Merrill Rd. 762-3433. $ malts, shakes, Reubens, Cubans, burgers, and traditional 331 First Ave. N. 241-2005. $$ breakfast items. CM. B & L, daily. 9934 Old Baymeadows Rd. AL’S PIZZA F Serving hand-tossed gourmet pizzas, calzones 641-4877. $$ and Italian entrees for more than 21 years. Voted Best Pizza BISCOTTIS F Mozzarella bruschetta, Avondale pizza, THE FIFTH ELEMENT F Authentic Indian, South Indian and by Folio Weekly readers from 1996-2011. BW. L & D, daily. sandwiches, espresso, cappuccino. Revolving daily specials. B, Indochinese dishes made with artistic flair. Lunch buffet 303 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-0002. $ Tue.-Sun.; L & D, daily. 3556 St. Johns Ave. 387-2060. $$$ includes lamb, goat, chicken, tandoori and biryani items. CM. L ANGIE’S SUBS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Subs are madeTHE BLUE FISH RESTAURANT & OYSTER BAR Fresh seafood, & D, daily. 9485 Baymeadows Rd. 448-8265. $$ to-order fresh. Serious casual. Wicked good iced tea. 1436 steaks and more are served in a casual atmosphere. HalfGATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 8650 Baymeadows Beach Blvd. 246-2519. $ BEACH BUDS CHICKEN F The family-owned place serves portions are available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 3551 St. Johns Rd. 448-0500. $$ marinated fried or baked chicken: family meals (kids like Ave., Shoppes of Avondale. 387-0700. $$$ INDIA RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Extensive Peruvian nuggets), box lunches, gizzards, livers, 15 sides and BRICK RESTAURANT F Creative all-American fare like tuna menu of entrées, clay-oven grilled Tandoori specialties and fried or blackened shrimp, fish, conch fritters, deviled crabs. tartare, seaweed salad and Kobe burger. Outside dining. FB. L chicken tandoor, fish, seafood and korma. L, Mon.-Sat., D, TO. L & D, daily. 1289 Penman Road. 247-2828. $ & D, daily. 3585 St. Johns Ave. 387-0606. $$$ daily. 9802 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 8. 620-0777. $$ BEACHSIDE SEAFOOD RESTAURANT & MARKET F The THE CASBAH F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Middle Eastern LARRY’S GIANT SUBS F With locations all over Northeast full fresh seafood market serves seafood baskets, fish tacos, cuisine is served in a friendly atmosphere. BW. L & D, daily. Florida, Larry’s piles subs up with fresh fixins and serves ’em oyster baskets and Philly cheesesteaks. Dine indoors or 3628 St. Johns Ave. 981-9966. $$ fast. Some Larry’s Subs offer B & W and/or serve breakfast. CM. outside. Beach delivery. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 120 S. Third St. ESPETO BRAZILIAN STEAK HOUSE F Gauchos carve the L & D, daily. 3928 Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 9 (Goodby’s Creek), 444-8862. $$ meat onto your plate from serving tables. FB. D, Tue.-Sun., 737-7740; 8616 Baymeadows Rd. 739-2498. larryssubs.com $ BLUES ROCK CAFE Oceanfront dining experience, featuring an closed Mon. 4000 St. Johns Ave., Ste. 40. 388-4884. $$$ LEMONGRASS F Upscale Thai cuisine in a metropolitan Walter Coker

DINING GUIDE KEY

ARLINGTON, REGENCY

BAYMEADOWS

BEACHES

AVONDALE, ORTEGA

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 33


GRILL ME! A WEEKLY Q&A WITH PEOPLE IN THE RESTAURANT BIZ

NAME: Carlos Navarro RESTAURANT: The Thirsty Iguana Cantina Taqueria, 7605 Beach Blvd., Southside BIRTHPLACE: New York YEARS IN THE BUSINESS: 20 FAVORITE RESTAURANT (other than my own): Ted’s Montana Grill FAVORITE COOKING STYLE: Italian. FAVORITE INGREDIENTS: Basil and cilantro. IDEAL MEAL: Cowboy or Delmonico cut ribeye. WOULDN’T EAT IF YOU PAID ME: Prairie oysters. INSIDER’S SECRET: Don’t eat yellow snow.

Walter Coker

CELEBRITY SIGHTING AT THIRSTY IGUANA: John Travolta, Jimmy Fallon, Lucy Liu.

all-American menu, including crab cakes and wings, served in a relaxed atmosphere in the heart of the Beaches. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 831 N. First St. 249-0007. $$ BONGIORNO’S PHILLY STEAK SHOP F South Philly’s Bongiorno clan imports Amoroso rolls for Real Deal cheesesteak, Original Gobbler, clubs, wraps, burgers, dogs. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2294 Mayport Rd., Atlantic Beach. 246-3278. $$ BONO’S PIT BAR-B-Q F Baby back ribs, fried corn, sweet potatoes. BW. L & D, daily. 1307 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 270-2666. 1266 S. Third St. 249-8704. bonosbarbq.com $ BUDDHA’S BELLY F Authentic Thai dishes made with fresh ingredients using tried-and-true recipes. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 301 10th Ave. N. 372-9149. $$ BURRITO GALLERY EXPRESS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Gallery’s kid sister at the beach each is mostly take-out; same great chow, fast service. 1333 Third St. N. 242-8226. $ CAMPECHE BAY CANTINA F Homemade-style Mexican items are fajitas, enchiladas and fried ice cream, plus margaritas. FB. D, nightly. 127 First Ave. N. 249-3322. $$ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Springfield. 2429 S. 3rd St. 372-9000. $ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 320 N. First St. 270-8565. $$ COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE F (Formerly The Homestead) The menu features Southern favorites like fried chicken, collards, biscuits and cornbread, as well as fresh seafood, steaks, burgers and chops, served in a family atmosphere inside a cozy log cabin. CM, FB. Sunday brunch; L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1712 Beach Blvd. 249-4776. $$ CRAB CAKE FACTORY JAX F Chef Khan Vongdara presents an innovative menu of seafood dishes and seasonal favorites. FB. L & D daily. 1396 Beach Blvd., Beach Plaza. 247-9880. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner, serving burgers, sandwiches, nachos, tacos, quesadillas and cheese fries. 319 23rd Ave. S. 270-0356. $ CULHANE’S IRISH PUB Four Culhane sisters own and operate the authentic Irish pub, with faves Guinness stew, lamb sliders and fish pie. L, Fri.-Sun.; D, Tue.-Sun.; weekend brunch. FB, CM. 967 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 249-9595. $$ CYCLONES TEX-MEX CANTINA F The place has freshly made Tex-Mex favorites, including fajitas, enchiladas, tacos, burritos, tamales and taco salad. Lunch combos include Mexican rice and beans. FB. L & D, daily. 1222 Third St. S. 694-0488. $$ DICK’S WINGS F The NASCAR-themed place serves 365 varieties of wings. The menu also features half-pound burgers, ribs and salads. BW, TO. L & D daily. 2434 Mayport Road, Atlantic Beach, 372-0298. 311 N. Third St., 853-5004. $ DWIGHT’S The Mediterranean-style bistro features fresh local seafood, filet mignon, mixed grill and an extensive wine list. D, Tue.-Sat. 1527 Penman Rd. 241-4496. $$$$ ENGINE 15 BREWING COMPANY F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Jax Beach restaurant serves gastropub fare like soups, salads, flatbreads and specialty sandwiches, including BarBe-Cuban and beer dip. Daily specials, too. CM, BW. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 217. 249-2337. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 992 Beach Blvd. 249-3001. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Casual dining with uptown Irish flair, including fish and chips, Guinness beef stew and black-and-tan brownies. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 333 N. First St. 242-9499. $$ THE FISH COMPANY F Fresh, local seafood is served, including Mayport shrimp, fish baskets, grilled tuna and an

oyster bar. L & D, daily. CM, FB. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 12, Atlantic Beach. 246-0123. $$ HALA SANDWICH SHOP & BAKERY Authentic Middle Eastern favorites include gyros, shwarma, pita bread, made fresh daily. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 1451 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 249-2212. $$ HOT DOG HUT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. All-beef hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, crab cakes, beer-battered onion rings and French fries. B. L, daily. 1439 Third St. S. 247-8886. $ ICHIBAN F Three dining areas: teppan or hibachi tables (watch a chef prepare your food), a sushi bar and Westernstyle seating offering tempura and teriyaki. FB, Japanese plum wine. L & D, daily. 675 N. Third St. 247-4688. $$ LYNCH’S IRISH PUB The full-service restaurant offers corned beef and cabbage, Shepherd’s pie and fish-n-chips. 30+ beers on tap. FB. L, Sat. & Sun., D, daily. 514 N. First St. 249-5181. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 1080 Third St. N. 241-5600. $ MEZZA LUNA F A Beaches tradition for 20-plus years. Great food, from gourmet wood-fired pizzas to contemporary American cuisine. Inside or patio dining. Extensive wine list. CM, FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 110 First St., Neptune Beach. 249-5573. $$$ MOJO KITCHEN BBQ PIT & BLUES BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Traditional slow-cooked Southern barbecue served in a blues bar atmosphere. Favorites are pulled pork, Texas brisket and slow-cooked ribs. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1500 Beach Blvd. 247-6636. $$ MONKEY’S UNCLE TAVERN F For 25-plus years, Monkey’s has served pub grub, burgers, sandwiches, seafood and wings. Dine inside or out on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1850 S. Third St. 246-1070. $ NIPPERS BEACH GRILLE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Executive Chef Kenny Gilbert’s cuisine features local fare and innovative dishes, served in an island atmosphere. Dine inside or out on the tiki deck. FB. L & D, Wed.-Sun.; D, nightly. 2309 Beach Blvd. 247-3300. $$ NORTH BEACH BISTRO Casual dining with an elegant touch, like slow-cooked veal osso buco; calypso crusted mahi mahi with spiced plantain chips. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach. 372-4105. $$$ OCEAN 60 A prix fixe menu is offered. Continental cuisine, with fresh seafood, nightly specials and a changing seasonal menu. Dine in a formal dining room or casual Martini Room. D, Mon.Sat. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 247-0060. $$$ PACO’S MEXICAN GRILL Serving Baja-style Mexican cuisine, featuring carne asada, tacos, burritos, fish tacos and shrimp burritos. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 333 First St. N. 208-5097. $ PARSONS SEAFOOD RESTAURANT F The family-style restaurant has an outdoor patio and an extensive menu, including the mariner’s platter and the Original Dreamboat. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 904 Sixth Ave. S. 249-0608. $$ THE PIER RESTAURANT F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The oceanfront restaurant offers fresh, local fare served on two floors — upstairs, it’s Chef’s Menu, with stuffed flounder, pork tenderloin, appetizers. Downstairs bar and patio offer casual items, daily drink specials. CM, FB. D, daily; L & D, weekends; brunch, Sun. 412 First St. N. 246-6454. $$ PHILLY’S FINEST F Authentic Philly-style cheesesteaks made with imported Amorosa rolls. Hoagies, wings and pizza ... cold beer, too. FB. L & D, daily. 1527 N. Third St. 241-7188. $$ RAGTIME TAVERN SEAFOOD GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Beaches landmark serves grilled seafood with

34 | folio weekly | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

CULINARY GUILTY PLEASURE: Pizza.

a Cajun/Creole accent. Hand-crafted cold beer. FB. L & D, daily. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach. 241-7877. $$ SALT LIFE FOOD SHACK F Best of Jax 2011 winner. An array of specialty menu items, including signature tuna poke bowl, fresh rolled sushi, Ensenada tacos and local fried shrimp, in a casual, trendy open-air space. FB, TO, CM. L & D, daily. 1018 Third St. N. 372-4456. $$ SNEAKERS SPORTS GRILLE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. 111 Beach Blvd. 482-1000. $$ SUN DOG STEAK & SEAFOOD F Eclectic American fare, art deco décor with an authentic diner feel. FB. L & D, daily; Sun. brunch. 207 Atlantic Blvd., Neptune Beach. 241-8221. $$ TACOLU BAJA MEXICANA F Fresh, Baja-style Mexican fare, with a focus on fish tacos and tequila, as well as fried cheese, bangin’ shrimp and verde chicken tacos. Valet parking. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 1183 Beach Blvd. 249-8226. $$ TROPICAL SMOOTHIE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. With 12 locations in Northeast Florida, Tropical Smoothie’s got us covered. Serving breakfast, wraps, sandwiches, flatbreads and smoothies — lowfat, fruity, coffees, supplements. CM. Open daily. 1230 Beach Blvd., 242-4940. 251 Third St., Neptune Beach, 247-8323. $ THE WINE BAR The casual neighborhood place has a tapasstyle menu, fire-baked flatbreads and a wine selection. Tue.Sun. 320 N. First St. 372-0211. $$

DOWNTOWN

(The Jacksonville Landing venues are at 2 Independent Drive) ADAMS STREET DELI & GRILL The lunch spot serves wraps, including grilled chicken, and salads, including Greek salad. L, Mon.-Fri. 126 W. Adams St. 475-1400. $$ BURRITO GALLERY & BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Southwest cuisine, traditional American salads. Burritos and more burritos. Onsite art gallery. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-2922. $ CAFÉ NOLA AT MOCA JAX On the first floor of Museum of Contemporary Art, Cafe Nola serves shrimp and grits, gourmet sandwiches, fresh fish tacos, homemade desserts. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Thur. 333 N. Laura St. 366-6911 ext. 231. $$ CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. The Jacksonville Landing. 354-7747. $$$ CITY HALL PUB A sports bar vibe: 16 big-screen HDTVs. Angus burgers, dogs, sandwiches, AYCE wings buffet. FB. Free downtown area lunch delivery. L & D, daily. 234 Randolph Blvd. 356-6750. $$ DE REAL TING CAFE F The popular restaurant offers a Caribbean lunch buffet Tue.-Fri. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 128 W. Adams St. 633-9738. $ FIONN MACCOOL’S IRISH PUB & RESTAURANT Brand new location. See Beaches. FB, CM. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 176. 374-1247. $$ INDOCHINE Best of Jax 2011 winner. Serving Thai and Southeast Asian cuisine in the core of downtown. Signature dishes include favorites like chicken Satay, soft shell crab, and mango and sticky rice for dessert. BW, FB, TO. L, Mon.-Fri., D, Tue.-Sat. 21 E. Adams St. 598-5303. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE Family-owned-and-operated. Jenkins offers beef, pork, chicken, homemade desserts. L & D, daily. 830 N. Pearl St. 353-6388. $ TRELLISES HYATT REGENCY This American cuisine restaurant offers a breakfast buffet with made-to-order omelet station and a la carte items. Signature lunch and dinner entrees include grouper salad, Angus burgers, Reubens, French onion grilled cheese, seafood and steaks. Wed. night Pastabilities. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 225 East Coastline Dr. 634-4540. $$$ KOJA SUSHI F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Sushi, Japanese, Asian and Korean cuisine. Indoor and outdoor dining and bar. FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing. 350-9911. $$ NORTHSTAR SUBSTATION F This place features brick-ovenbaked pizzas, grinders, wings, Philly cheesesteaks, custom sandwiches and fries served in a laid-back setting. FB, 27 beers on draft. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 119 E. Bay St. 860-5451. $ OLIO MARKET F Freshly prepared sandwiches, salads, soups and entrées. In the Churchwell Lofts building, Olio partners eclectic tastes with Old World ambiance in a casual renovated space. L, Mon.-Fri.; late Art Walk. 301 E. Bay St. 356-7100. $$ THE SKYLINE DINING & CONFERENCE CENTER Weekday lunch includes salad bar, hot meals and a carving station. L, Mon.-Fri.; L, Sun. upon request. FB. 50 N. Laura St., Ste. 3550. 791-9797. $$ VITO’S ITALIAN CAFE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Authentic Italian oven-baked pasta dishes, pizza, veal, chicken and seafood items made with fresh ingredients. CM, FB. L & D, daily. The Jacksonville Landing, Ste. 174. 355-0064. $$ ZODIAC GRILL F Serving Mediterranean cuisine and American favorites, with a popular lunch buffet. FB. L & D, daily. 120 W. Adams St. 354-8283. $

FLEMING ISLAND

CHICAGO PIZZA & SPORTS GRILLE F See Baymeadows. 406 Old Hard Road, Ste. 106. 213-7779. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F See Riverside. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 1915 East West Pkwy., 541-0009. $ HONEY B’S CAFE Breakfast includes omelets, pancakes, French toast. Lunch offers entrée salads, quiches, build-yourown burgers. Peanut butter pie is a favorite. Tea parties every

Sat. B & L, daily. 3535 U.S. 17, Ste. 8. 264-7325. $$ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal. 1571 C.R. 220, Ste. 100. 215-2223. $ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See St. Johns Town Center. 1800 Town Center Pkwy. 541-1999. $ MOJO SMOKEHOUSE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. FB. L & D, daily. 1810 Town Ctr. Blvd. 264-0636. $$ WHITEY’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The renowned seafood place, family-owned since 1963, specializes in AYCE freshwater catfish. Also steaks, pastas. Outdoor waterfront dining. Come by car, boat or bike. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 2032 C.R. 220. 269-4198. $

INTRACOASTAL

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 14286 Beach Blvd. (at San Pablo Rd.) 223-0991. $ BIG DAWG’S SPORTS RESTAURANT F The family-friendly casual sports restaurant offers wings, burgers, sandwiches, wraps and specialty salads. Kids can choose from the Puppy Chow menu. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12630 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 551-3059. $$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA, PASTA, PANINIS F Brucci’s offers authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas and desserts in a family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 13500 Beach Blvd., Ste. 36. 223-6913. $ CLIFF’S ROCKIN’ BAR-N-GRILL F Cliff’s features 8-ounce burgers, wings, steak, seafood, homemade pizza and daily specials. FB. L & D, daily. Smoking permitted. 3033 Monument Rd., Ste. 2, Cobblestone Plaza. 645-5162. $$ ISTANBUL MEDITERRANEAN & ITALIAN CUISINE F A varied menu offers European cuisine including lamb, beef and chicken dishes, as well as pizza and wraps. BW. L & D, daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 26. 220-9192. $$ JERRY’S SPORTS GRILLE & STEAKHOUSE F The menu includes wings, hamburgers, Ahi tuna and handcut steaks. CM, FB. Daily. 13170 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 22. 220-6766. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Family-ownedand-operated, serving authentic Mexican cuisine, like tamales, fajitas, pork tacos, in a casual family atmosphere. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 14333 Beach Blvd. 992-1666. $ MILANO’S RESTAURANT & PIZZERIA Homemade Italian cuisine, breads, pizzas, calzones and specialty dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 646-9119. $$ THAI ORCHID F The restaurant serves authentic Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, including pad Thai, Thai curry dishes and rice dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 12620 Beach Blvd., Ste. 4. 683-1286. $$ TIME OUT SPORTS GRILL F Wings, gourmet pizza, fresh seafood and specialty wraps. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L & D, Sat. & Sun. 13799 Beach Blvd., Ste. 5. 223-6999. $$

JULINGTON, NW ST. JOHNS

BLACKSTONE GRILLE The menu blends flavors from a variety of cultures and influences for modern American fusion cuisine, served in a bistro-style setting. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri., D, Sat.; Sun. brunch. 112 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 102. 287-0766. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F See Intracoastal. 540 S.R. 13, Ste. 10, Fruit Cove. 287-8317. $$ HAPPY OURS SPORTS GRILLE F Wings, big salads, burgers, wraps and sandwiches. Sports events on HDTVs. CM, FB. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 101. 683-1964. $ PIZZA PALACE F See San Marco. 116 Bartram Oaks Walk. 230-2171. $ VINO’S PIZZA Vino’s Pizza – with four Jacksonville locations – makes all their Italian and American dishes with fresh ingredients. L & D, daily. 605 S.R. 13, Ste. 103. 230-6966. $ WAKAME JAPANESE & THAI CUISINE F The fine dining restaurant offers authentic Japanese and Thai cuisine, including a full sushi menu, curries and pad dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 104 Bartram Oaks Walk, Ste. 108. 230-6688. $$

MANDARIN

AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 11190 San Jose Blvd. 260-4115. $ AW SHUCKS F The seafood place features an oyster bar, steaks, seafood, wings and pasta. Favorites are ahi tuna, shrimp & grits, oysters Rockefeller, pitas and kabobs. Sweet potato puffs are the signature side. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9743 Old St. Augustine Rd. 240-0368. $$ THE BLUE CRAB CRABHOUSE F A Maryland-style crabhouse featuring fresh blue crabs, garlic crabs, and king, snow and Dungeness crab legs. FB, CM. D, Tue.-Sat.; L & D, Sun. 3057 Julington Creek Rd. 260-2722. $$ BROOKLYN PIZZA F The traditional pizzeria serves New Yorkstyle pizza, specialty pies, and subs, strombolis and calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 11406 San Jose Blvd. 288-9211. 13820 St. Augustine Rd. 880-0020. $ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Springfield. L & D, daily. 14965 Old St. Augustine Rd. 619-8186. $$ CLARK’S FISH CAMP F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Clark’s has steak, ribs, AYCE catfish dinners, 3-pound prime rib. Dine in, out or in a creek-view glass-enclosed room. FB. D, Mon.-Fri.; L


& D, Sat. & Sun. 12903 Hood Landing Rd. 268-3474. $$ DON JUAN’S RESTAURANT F Authentic Mexican dishes prepared daily from scratch, served in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 12373 San Jose Blvd. 268-8722. $$ GIGI’S RESTAURANT Breakfast buffet daily, lunch buffet weekdays. The Comedy Zone (Best of Jax 2011 winner) has an appetizer menu. FB. B, L & D, daily. I-295 & San Jose Blvd. (Ramada Inn). 268-8080. $$ (Fri. & Sat. buffet, $$$) GOLDEN CORRAL Family-friendly place; legendary buffet featuring familiar favorites and new items. B, L & D, daily. 11470 San Jose Blvd. 886-9699. $$ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F See Southside. 9735 Old St. Augustine Rd. 288-8890. $$ HARMONIOUS MONKS The American-style steakhouse features a 9-oz. choice Angus center-cut filet topped with gorgonzola shiitake mushroom cream sauce, 8-oz. gourmet burgers, fall-off-the-bone ribs, wraps, sandwiches. FB. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 10550 Old St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 30. 880-3040. $$ KOBE JAPANESE RESTAURANT The fusion-style sushi restaurant offers oyster shooters, kobe beef shabu-shabu, Chilean sea bass and filet mignon. BW & sake. L & D, daily. 11362 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 8. 288-7999. $$ MAMA FU’S ASIAN HOUSE MSG-free pan-Asian cuisine prepared to order in woks using fresh ingredients. Authentic Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese and Thai dishes. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 11105 San Jose Blvd. 260-1727. $$ MANDARIN ALE HOUSE Laid-back atmosphere; 30-plus beers on tap. FB. L & D, daily. 11112 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 19. 292-0003. $$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 12807 San Jose Blvd. 638-6185. $$ NATIVE SUN NATURAL FOODS MARKET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Organic supermarket with full deli and salad bar serving wraps, quesadillas, chopped salads, vegetarian dishes. Fresh juice and smoothie bar. Indoor and outdoor seating. Mon.-Sat. 10000 San Jose Blvd. 260-6950. $ PICASSO’S PIZZERIA F Specializes in hand-tossed gourmet pizza, calzones, homemade New York-style cheesecake and handmade pasta. Fresh local seafood and steaks. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 10503 San Jose Blvd. 880-0811. $$ SIMPLE FAIRE F Breakfast and lunch favorites, featuring Boar’s Head meats and cheeses served on fresh bread. Daily specials. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3020 Hartley Rd. 683-2542. $$ TANK’S FAMILY BAR-B-Q Owned and operated by the Tankersley family, the barbecue place offers made-from-scratch Southern-style fare, featuring their own sauces. CM, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 11701 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 23. 351-8265. $$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. L & D, daily. 4268 Oldfield Crossing Dr. 268-6660. $ WHOLE FOODS MARKET F 100+ prepared items at a fullservice and self-service hot bar, soup bar, dessert bar. Madeto-order Italian specialties from a brick oven pizza hearth. L & D, daily. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 22. 288-1100. $$

ORANGE PARK

ARON’S PIZZA F The family-owned restaurant offers eggplant dishes, manicotti and New York-style pizza. BW, CM, TO. L & D daily. 650 Park Ave. 269-1007. $$ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F For 18-plus years, the sports-themed family restaurant has served wings, ribs, entrees, sandwiches. FB. L & D, daily. 9680 Argyle Forest Blvd. 425-6466. $$ THE HILLTOP CLUB She-crab soup, scallops, prime beef, wagyu beef, chicken Florentine, stuffed grouper. Chef Nick’s salmon is a favorite. FB. D, Tue.-Sat. 2030 Wells Rd. 272-5959. $$ JOEY MOZARELLAS The Italian restaurant’s specialty is a 24-slice pizza: 18”x26” of fresh ingredients and sauces made daily. CM, TO. L & D, daily. 930 Blanding Blvd. 579-4748. $$ PASTA MARKET & CLAM BAR F Family-owned-and-operated. Gourmet pizza, veal, chicken, mussels, shrimp, grouper. The pastas: spaghetti, fettuccine, lasagna, calzones, linguini, ravioli, made with fresh ingredients, homemade-style. Daily specials. CM, BW, sangria. 1930 Kingsley Ave. 276-9551. D, nightly. $$ POMPEII COAL-FIRED PIZZA F Pizzas are baked in coal-fired ovens. Popular pizzas include Health Choice and Mozzarella. Coal-fired sandwiches and wings, too. BW. L & D, daily. 2134 Park Ave. 264-6116. $$ THE ROADHOUSE F Burgers, wings, deli sandwiches and popular lunches are served. FB. L & D, daily. 231 Blanding Blvd. 264-0611. $ THAI GARDEN F Traditional Thai cuisine made with fresh ingredients, served in a relaxed atmosphere. Curry dishes and specialty selections with authentic Thai flavors. BW. L, Mon.Fri.; D, nightly. 10 Blanding Blvd., Ste. A. 272-8434. $$

PONTE VEDRA, NE ST. JOHNS

AL’S PIZZA F See Beaches. BW. L & D, daily. 635 A1A. 543-1494. $ AQUA GRILL Upscale cuisine includes fresh seafood, Angus steaks, Maine lobster, vegetarian dishes. Outdoor patio seating. FB. L, Mon.-Sat.; D, nightly. 950 Sawgrass Village Dr. 285-3017. $$$ BRUCCI’S PIZZA F Authentic New York-style pizza, Italian pastas, paninis, desserts. Family atmosphere. CM. L & D, daily. 880 A1A, Ste. 8. 280-7677. $$ CAFFE ANDIAMO Traditional Italian cuisine features fresh

ADVERTISING PROO

seafood, veal, homemade pastas and wood-fired pizza prepared in a copper clad oven. An extensive wine list is offered in a cosmopolitan atmosphere. Dine indoors or Out on the terrace. L & D, daily. 500 Sawgrass Village. 280-2299. $$$ LULU’S WATERFRONT GRILLE F On the Intracoastal please call your advertising representative at 260-9770. RUN Waterway, LuLu’s can be reachedFor by carquestions, or by boat. Seafood, steaks and pasta dishes with a sophisticated fl air. FB. L & D, FAX YOUR PROOF IF POSSIBLE AT 268-3655 daily; Sun. brunch. 301 N. Roscoe Blvd. 285-0139. $$ NINETEEN AT TPC SAWGRASS In Sawgrass’ TournamentOF BENEFIT PROMISE SUPPORT ASK FOR ACTION Produced by bg Players Club, Nineteen features more than 230 wines and freshly prepared American and Continental cuisine, including local seafood, served inside or al fresco on the verandah. L & D, daily. 110 Championship Way. 273-3235. $$$ PUSSER’S BAR & GRILLE F Freshly prepared Caribbean cuisine, including red snapper Ponte Vedra Jamaican grilled pork ribs and barbecued salmon tower. Tropical rum drinks feature Pusser’s Painkiller. FB. L & D, daily. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100. 280-7766. L, $$; D, $$ RESTAURANT MEDURE Chef Matthew Medure offers eclectic cuisine featuring local and imported seafood with Southern and Asian influences. F/B. D, Mon.-Sat. 818 A1A N. 543-3797. $$$ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 8141 A1A. 285-0014. $$$$ 619 OCEAN VIEW Dining with a Mediterranean touch, featuring fresh seafood, steaks and nightly specials. FB, CM. D, Wed.-Sun. 619 Ponte Vedra Blvd., Cabana Beach Club. 285-6198. $$$ URBAN FLATS See St. Johns Town Center. FB. L & D, daily. 330 A1A N. 280-5515. $$

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RIVERSIDE, 5 POINTS, WESTSIDE

AJ’S ON PARK STREET F AJ’s is a casual barbecue spot serving smoked St. Louis-style ribs, pulled pork, smoked brisket, seafood and dishes made with a Latin touch. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 630 Park St. 359-0035. $$ ALPHADOG GRILL F This brand-new fun place in Riverside promise of benefit features gourmet hot dogs — like Ragin’ Cajun (andouille sausage covered in jambalaya) and The Hippie (veggie dog) — and sausages, grilled chicken wraps, soups, salads, appetizers and wings. L & D, daily. BW. 2782 Park St. 374-8715. $ AL’S PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 1620 Margaret St. 388-8384. $ BAKERY MODERNE F The neighborhood bakery offers classic pastries, artisanal breads, seasonal favorites, all made from scratch, including popular petit fours and custom cakes. B & L, daily. 869 Stockton St., Ste. 6, Riverside. 389-7117. $ CARMINE’S PIE HOUSE F The Italian eatery serves pizza by the slice, gourmet pizzas, appetizers, classic Italian dishes — calzone, stromboli, subs, panini — wings, and microbrews in a casual atmosphere. BW, CM, TO. 2677 Forbes St. 387-1400. $$ COOL MOOSE F Classic sandwiches, eclectic wraps and desserts. An extensive gourmet coffee menu with Green Mountain coffees and frozen coffee drinks. B & L, daily. Brunch, Sun. 2708 Park St. 381-4242. $ CROSS CREEK See Springfield. 850 S. Lane Ave. 783-9579. $$ EUROPEAN STREET CAFÉ F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 2753 Park St. 384-9999. $ GATOR’S DOCKSIDE F See Orange Park. 6677 103rd St., Westside, 777-6135. $$ GRASSROOTS NATURAL MARKET F A deli, organic and natural grocery, and juice & smoothie bar offers teas, coffees, gourmet cheeses; natural, organic and raw items. Grab-andgo sandwiches, salads and sides. Craft beers, organic wines. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat.; L, Sun. 2007 Park St. 384-4474. $ HJ’S BAR & GRILL Traditional American fare: burgers, sandwiches, wraps and platters of ribs, shrimp and fish. CM, FB. L & D, Sat. & Sun., D, Mon.-Fri. 8540 Argyle Forest Blvd., Ste. 1. 317-2783. $$ HOVAN MEDITERRANEAN GOURMET F Dine inside or on the patio. Mediterranean entrées include lamb, and beef gyros. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 2005-1 Park St. 381-9394. $ JOHNNY’S DELI & GRILL F A Riverside tradition, serving 60+ fresh deli and grill items, including hot sandwiches. L, Mon.Fri. 474 Riverside Ave. 356-8055. $ KICKBACKS GASTROPUB F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The neighborhood hot spot serves pub favorites 20 hours a day, every day. The full bar has over 655 bottled beers, 84 on tap. Outdoor seating. CM. 910 King St. 388-9551. $$ MONROE’S SMOKEHOUSE BBQ Smoked meats include wings, pulled pork, brisket, turkey and ribs. Homemade-style sides include green beans, baked beans, red cole slaw, collards. BW, CM. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4838 Highway Ave., 389-5551. $$ MOON RIVER PIZZA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Amelia Island. 1176 Edgewood Ave. S. 389-4442. $ MOSSFIRE GRILL F Southwestern menu with ahi tuna tacos, goat cheese enchiladas and gouda quesadillas. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. 1537 Margaret St. 355-4434. $$ O’BROTHERS IRISH PUB F Innovative Irish fare and traditional faves are offered, like lambburger with Stilton crust, Guinness mac & cheese, Shepherd’s pie and fish-nchips — plus 18 beers on tap. L, daily except Mon.; D, daily. CM, FB. 1521 Margaret St. 854-9300. $$ PERARD’S PIZZA & ITALIAN CUISINE F Traditional Italian fare is prepared with fresh sauces and dough made from scratch daily, along with a large selection of gourmet pizza toppings. CM,

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Walter Coker

Chef-driven small plate fare and Best of Jax 2011 award-winning martinis are on tap in the upscale Suite, on Big Island Drive in St. Johns Town Center. BW. L & D, daily. 11043 Crystal Springs Rd., Ste. 2. 378-8131. $ PERFECT RACK BILLIARDS F Upscale billiards hall has burgers, steak, deli sandwiches, wings. Family-friendly, non-smoking. BW, CM. L & D, daily. 1186 Edgewood Ave. S., Murray Hill. 738-7645. $ PIZZA PALACE ON PARK F See San Marco. Outdoor seating. 920 Margaret St., 5 Points. 598-1212. $$ SAKE HOUSE F Japanese grill and sushi bar features sushi, sashimi, katsu, tempura, hibachi and specialty rolls. CM, BW, sake. L & D, daily. 824 Lomax St. 301-1188. $$ SUMO SUSHI F Authentic Japanese fare, traditional to entrees and sushi rolls, spicy sashimi salad, gyoza (pork dumpling), tobiko (flying fish roe), Rainbow roll (tuna, salmon, yellowtail, Calif. roll). BW, CM. L & D, daily. 2726 Park St. 388-8838. $$ SUSHI CAFÉ The café in Riverside Publix Plaza features a variety of sushi, including the popular Monster Roll and the Jimmy Smith Roll, along with faves like Rock-n-Roll and Dynamite Roll. Sushi Café also offers hibachi, tempura, katsu and teriyaki. BW. Dine indoors or on the patio. L & D, daily. 2025 Riverside Ave. 384-2888. $$ TASTI D-LITE Health-conscious desserts include smoothies, shakes, sundaes, cakes and pies, made with fresh ingredients with fewer calories and less fat. More than 100 flavors. Open daily. 1024 Park St. 900-3040. $ 13 GYPSIES F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The neighborhood eatery is intimate and casual, serving tapas, shrimp dishes, salads and pressed sandwiches made from scratch. BW. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 887 Stockton St. 389-0330. $$ TWO DOORS DOWN F Former Tad’s owner offers traditional faves: hotcakes, omelets, burgers, pork chops, liver & onions, fried chicken, sides and desserts. CM, TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 436 Park St. 598-0032. $ WALKERS The nightspot has a tapas menu plus a wide variety of wines, served in a rustic, intimate atmosphere. BW. Tue.-Sat. 2692 Post St. 894-7465. $ WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE buffet. Sushi bar, sashimi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, steak, seafood. BW. L & D, daily. 1014 Margaret St., Ste. 1, 5 Points. 301-1199. $$

ST. AUGUSTINE

A1A ALE WORKS F The Ancient City’s only brew pub taps seven hand-crafted ales and lagers. A1A specializes in innovative New World cuisine. FB. L & D, daily. 1 King St. 829-2977. $$ AMICI ITALIAN RESTAURANT F A family-owned-andoperated Italian restaurant offers traditional pasta, veal, steak and seafood dishes. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 1915B A1A S., St. Augustine Beach. 461-0102. $$ ANN O’MALLEY’S F Fresh handmade sandwiches, soups, salads and perfectly poured Guinness. Favorites include Reubens and chicken salad. CM, BW, Irish beers on tap. L & D, daily. 23 Orange St. 825-4040. $$ BARNACLE BILL’S F For 30 years, the family restaurant has served seafood, oysters, gator tail, steak and fried shrimp. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily; 14 Castillo Drive, 824-3663. $$ THE BLACK MOLLY BAR & GRILL Fresh, local seafood, steaks and pasta dishes in a casual atmosphere. FB, CM. L & D daily. 504 Geoffrey St., Cobblestone Plaza. 547-2723. $$ BORRILLO’S PIZZA & SUBS F Specialty pizzas are Borrillo’s Supreme (extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage), white and vegetarian pizzas. Subs and pasta dinners. L & D, daily. 88

36 | folio weekly | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

San Marco Ave. 829-1133. $ CAFÉ ATLANTICO Traditional and new Italian dishes served in an intimate space. Master Chef Paolo Pece prepares risotto alla pescatora, with shrimp, scallops and seasonal shellfish, in a parmesan cheese basket. BW. D, nightly. 647 A1A Beach Blvd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-7332. $$$ CAFÉ ELEVEN F Serving eclectic cuisine like feta spinach egg croissant, apple turkey sandwich, pear-berry salad. Daily chef creations. BW. B, L & D, daily. 501 A1A Beach Blvd. 4609311. B, $; L & D, $$ CAP’S ON THE WATER F The Vilano Beach mainstay offers coastal cuisine – tapas platters, cioppino, fresh local shrimp, raw oyster bar – indoors or on an oak-shaded deck. Boat access. FB. L, Fri.-Sun., D, nightly. 4325 Myrtle St., Vilano Beach. 824-8794. $$ CARMELO’S PIZZERIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Authentic New York style brick-oven-baked pizza, fresh baked sub rolls, Boars Head meats and cheeses, fresh salads, calzones, strombolis and sliced pizza specials. BW. L & D, daily. 146 King St. 494-6658. $$ CELLAR 6 ART GALLERY & WINE BAR Wolfgang Puck coffees, handmade desserts and light bistro-style fare amid local art. BW. Mon.-Sat. 6 Aviles St. 827-9055. $$ CREEKSIDE DINERY Creekside serves beef, chicken and seafood, with an emphasis on low-country cooking. Outdoor deck with a fire pit. FB. D, nightly. 160 Nix Boatyard Rd. 829-6113. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 3 St. George St. 824-6993. $ THE FLORIDIAN The downtown restaurant serves innovative Southern fare, made with local farmers’ local food. Signature items: fried green tomato bruschetta, ’N’grits with shrimp, fish or tofu. L & D, Wed.-Mon. 39 Cordova St. 829-0655. $$ GYPSY CAB COMPANY F Best of Jax 2011 winner. International menu features large portions, reasonable prices. FB. L & D, daily. 828 Anastasia Blvd. 824-8244. $$ HARRY’S SEAFOOD BAR & GRILLE F In a historic, two-story house, the New Orleans-style eatery has fresh seafood, steaks, jambalaya, etouffée and shrimp. FB. L & D, daily. 46 Avenida Menendez. 824-7765. $$ KINGFISH GRILL At Vilano Bridge’s west end, Kingfish Grill offers casual waterside dining indoors and on the deck, featuring fresh daily catch, house specialties and sushi. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 252 Yacht Club Drive. 824-2111. $$ KINGS HEAD BRITISH PUB F Authentic Brit pub serves fish & chips, Cornish pastie and steak & kidney pie. Tap beers are Guinness, Newcastle and Bass. BW. L & D, Wed.-Sun. 6460 U.S. 1 (4 miles N. of St. Augustine Airport.) 823-9787. $$ THE MANATEE CAFÉ F Serving healthful cuisine using organically grown fruits, vegetables, grains and legumes. B & L, daily. 525 S.R. 16, Ste. 106, Westgate Plaza. 826-0210. $ MANGO MANGO’S BEACHSIDE BAR & GRILL F Caribbean kitchen has comfort food with a tropical twist: coconut shrimp and fried plantains. BW, CM. Outdoor dining. 700 A1A Beach Blvd., (A Street access) St. Augustine Beach. 461-1077. $$ MILL TOP TAVERN F A St. Auggie institution housed in an 1884 building, serving nachos, soups, sandwiches and daily specials. Dine inside or on open-air decks. At the big mill wheel. FB. L & D, daily. 19 1/2 St. George St. 829-2329. $$ OASIS RESTAURANT & DECK F Just a block from the ocean, with a tropical atmosphere and open-air deck. Steamed oysters, crab legs, burgers. CM, FB. B, L & D, daily. 4000 A1A & Ocean Trace Rd., St. Augustine Beach. 471-3424. $

THE PRESENT MOMENT CAFÉ Best of Jax 2011 winner. The cozy café serves organic, vegan and vegetarian dishes, pizza, pastas, hummus and milkshakes — all prepared without meat, dairy, wheat or an oven. Organic BW. TO. B, L & D, Mon.-Sat. 224 W. King St. 827-4499. $ PURPLE OLIVE INTERNATIONAL BISTRO F Family-ownedand-operated, offering specials, fresh artisan breads. Soups, salad dressings and desserts made from scratch. BW. D, Tue.Sat. 4255 A1A S., Ste. 6, St. Augustine Beach. 461-1250. $$ RAINTREE Located in a Victorian home, Raintree offers a menu with contemporary and traditional international influences. Extensive wine list. FB. D, daily. 102 San Marco Ave. 824-7211. $$$ THE REEF RESTAURANT F Casual oceanfront place with a view from every table. Fresh local seafood, steak, pasta dishes and daily chef specials. Outdoor dining. FB, CM, TO. L & D daily. 4100 Coastal Hwy. A1A, Vilano Beach. 824-8008. $$ SOUTH BEACH GRILL Located off A1A, south of the S.R. 206 bridge, the two-story beachy destination offers casual oceanfront dining and fresh local seafood. Dine indoors or out on a beachfront deck. FB. B, L & D daily. 45 Cubbedge Road, Crescent Beach. 471-8700. $ SPY GLOBAL CUISINE & LOUNGE In the historic district, Spy features James Bond-themed sushi and Mediterraneaninfluenced global cuisine on the seasonal menu, including fresh — never frozen — Hawaiian seafood. Dine indoors or out on the patio. Upstairs lounge, too. Great selection of chilled sakes. BW, CM. D, nightly. 21 Hypolita St. 819-5637. $$$ SUNSET GRILLE Casual Key West style, seafood-heavy menu — it’s a consistent Great Chowder Debate winner. Specialties include baby back ribs, lobster ravioli, coconut shrimp and datil pepper wings with bleu cheese dressing. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 421 A1A Beach Blvd. 471-5555. $$$ THE TASTING ROOM, WINE & TAPAS Owned by Michael Lugo, the upscale contemporary Spanish restaurant fuses innovative tapas with an extensive wine list. L, Wed.-Sun.; D, nightly. 25 Cuna St. 810-2400. $$

ST. JOHNS TOWN CENTER, TINSELTOWN

BLACKFINN AMERICAN GRILLE With four dining rooms, BlackFinn offers classic American fare: beef, seafood, pasta, chicken, flatbread sandwiches. Dine indoors or on the patio. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 4840 Big Island Dr. 345-3466. $$ CORNER BISTRO & WINE BAR F Casual fine dining. The menu blends modern American favorites served with international flair. FB. L & D, Tue.-Sun. 9823 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 1. 619-1931. $$$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 9734 Deer Lake Ct., Ste. 11. 646-2874. $ FIVE GUYS BURGERS & FRIES Best of Jax 2011 winner. 13249 City Square Dr., 751-9711. 9039 Southside Blvd., 5389100. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 401, 996-6900. $ THE FLAME BROILER Serving food with no transfat, MSG, frying, or skin on meat. Fresh veggies, steamed brown or white rice along with grilled beef, chicken and Korean short ribs are featured. CM, TO. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Circle, Ste. 103. 619-2786. $ THE GRAPE BISTRO & WINE BAR F More than 145 wines, and gourmet tapas for pairing. Wide beer selection. L & D, daily. 10281 Midtown Parkway, Ste. 119. 642-7111. $$ ISLAND GIRL WINE & CIGAR BAR F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Upscale tropical vibe. Walk-in humidor, pairing apps and desserts with 25 wines, ports by the glass. 220+ wines by the bottle; draft, bottled beer. L & D, daily. 7860 Gate Pkwy., Ste. 115. 854-6060. $$ JOHNNY ANGELS F The menu reflects its ’50s-style décor, including Blueberry Hill pancakes, Fats Domino omelet, Elvis special combo platter. Shakes, malts. B, L & D, daily. 3546 St. Johns Bluff Rd. S., Ste. 120. 997-9850. $ LIBRETTO’S PIZZERIA & ITALIAN KITCHEN F Authentic NYC pizzeria serves Big Apple crust, cheese and sauce, along with third-generation family-style Italian classics, fresh-from-theoven calzones, and desserts in a casual, comfy setting. L & D, daily. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 402-8888. $$ LIME LEAF F Authentic Thai cuisine: fresh papaya salad, pad Thai, mango sweet rice. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 9822 Tapestry Park Cir., Stes. 108 & 109. 645-8568. $$ MELLOW MUSHROOM PIZZA BAKERS F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Tossed spring water dough, lean meats, veggies and vegetarian choices make up specialty pizzas, hoagies and calzones. FB. L & D, daily. 9734 Deer Lake Court (at Tinseltown). 997-1955. mellowmushroom.com $ MITCHELL’S FISH MARKET F A changing menu of more than 180 items includes cedar-roasted Atlantic salmon and seared salt-and-pepper tuna. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 5205 Big Island Dr., St. Johns Town Ctr. 645-3474. $$$ MOCHI FROZEN YOGURT Best of Jax 2011 winner. Non-fat, low-calorie, cholesterol-free frozen yogurt is served in flavors that change weekly. Toppings include a variety of fruit and nuts. 4860 Big Island Dr. 807-9292. $ THE ORIGINAL PANCAKE HOUSE F The recipes, unique to the Pancake House, call for only the freshest ingredients. CM. B, L & D, daily. 10208 Buckhead Branch Dr. 997-6088. $$ OTAKI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE F Family-owned with an open sushi bar, hibachi grill tables and an open kitchen. Dine indoor or out. FB, CM, TO. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 7860 Gate Parkway, Stes. 119-122. 854-0485. $$$

RENNA’S PIZZA F Renna’s serves up New York-style pizza, calzones, subs and lasagna made from authentic Italian recipes. Delivery, CM, BW. 4624 Town Crossing Dr., Ste. 125, St. Johns Town Center. 565-1299. rennaspizza.com $$ SEVEN BRIDGES GRILLE & BREWERY F Innovative menu of fresh local grilled seafood, sesame tuna, grouper Oscar, chicken, steak and pizza. Microbrewed ales and lagers. FB. L & D, daily. 9735 Gate Pkwy. N. 997-1999. $$ SOUTHSIDE ALE HOUSE F Steaks, seafood, sandwiches. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 9711 Deer Lake Court. 565-2882. $$ STEAMERS CAFE F Steamers’ menu has all-natural and organic items, including wraps, sandwiches, subs, soups, steamer bowls, smoothies and fresh juices. Daily lunch specials. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4320 Deerwood Lake Parkway, Ste. 106. 646-4527. $ SUITE Best of Jax 2011 winner. St. Johns Town Center premium lounge and restaurant offer chef-driven small plates and an extensive list of specialty cocktails, served in a sophisticated atmosphere. FB. D & late-nite, nightly. 4880 Big Island Dr., Ste. 1. 493-9305. $$ TAVERNA YAMAS The Greek restaurant serves char-broiled kabobs, seafood and traditional Greek wines and desserts. FB. L & D daily. 9753 Deer Lake Court. 854-0426. $$ URBAN FLATS F Ancient world-style flatbread is paired with fresh regional and seasonal ingredients in wraps, flatwiches and entrées, served in a casual, urban atmosphere. An international wine list is offered. CM. FB. L & D, daily. 9726 Touchton Road. 642-1488. $$ WASABI JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI BAR F Authentic Japanese cuisine, teppanyaki shows and a full sushi menu. CM. L & D, daily. 10206 River Coast Dr. 997-6528. $$ WHISKY RIVER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. At St. Johns Town Center’s Plaza, Whisky River features wings, pizza, wraps, sandwiches and burgers served in a lively car racingthemed atmosphere (Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s the owner). FB. CM. L & D, daily. 4850 Big Island Drive. 645-5571. $$ WILD WING CAFÉ F Serving up 33 flavors of wings, as well as soups, sandwiches, wraps, ribs, platters and burgers. FB. 4555 Southside Blvd. 998-9464. $$ YUMMY SUSHI F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Teriyaki, tempura, hibachi-style dinners, sushi & sashimi. Sushi lunch roll special. BW, sake. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 998-8806. $$

SAN JOSE

ATHENS CAFÉ F Serving authentic Greek cuisine: lamb, seafood, veal and pasta dishes. BW. L & D, daily. 6271 St. Augustine Rd., Ste. 7. 733-1199. $$ CRUISERS GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Beaches. 5613 San Jose Blvd., Ste. 1. 737-2874. $ DICK’S WINGS F NASCAR-themed family style sports place serves wings, buffalo tenders, burgers and chicken sandwiches. CM. BW. L & D, daily. 1610 University Blvd. W. 448-2110. dickswingsandgrill.com $ MOJO BAR-B-QUE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The Southern Blues kitchen serves pulled pork, brisket and North Carolinastyle barbecue. TO, BW. L & D, daily. 1607 University Blvd. W. 732-7200. $$

SAN MARCO, SOUTHBANK

BASIL THAI & SUSHI F Offering Thai cuisine, including pad Thai and curry dishes, and sushi in a relaxing atmosphere. L & D, Mon.-Sat. BW. 1004 Hendricks Ave. 674-0190. $$ b.b.’s F Best of Jax 2011 winner. A bistro menu is served in an upscale atmosphere, featuring almond-crusted calamari, tuna tartare and wild mushroom pizza. FB. L & D, Mon.-Fri.; brunch & D, Sat. 1019 Hendricks Ave. 306-0100. $$$ BISTRO AIX F French, Mediterranean-inspired fare, awardwinning wines, wood-fired pizzas, house-made pastas, steaks, seafood. Indoor, outdoor dining. FB. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, nightly. 1440 San Marco Blvd. 398-1949. $$$ CHECKER BBQ & SEAFOOD F Chef Art Jennette serves barbecue, seafood and comfort food, including pulled-pork, fried white shrimp and fried green tomatoes. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 3566 St. Augustine Rd. 398-9206. $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Big sandwiches, soups, desserts and more than 100 bottled and ontap beers. BW. L & D, daily. 1704 San Marco Blvd. 398-9500. $ THE GROTTO F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Wine by the glass. Tapas-style menu offers a cheese plate, empanadas bruschetta, chocolate fondue. BW. 2012 San Marco Blvd. 398-0726. $$ HAVANA-JAX CAFÉ/CUBA LIBRE BAR LOUNGE F Authentic Latin American fine dining: picadillo, ropa vieja, churrasco tenderloin steak, Cuban sandwiches. L & D, Mon.-Sat. CM, FB. 2578 Atlantic Blvd. 399-0609. $ LAYLA’S OF SAN MARCO Fine dining in the heart of San Marco. Traditional Middle Eastern cuisine, served inside or outside on the hookah and cigar patio. BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat.; D, Sun. 2016 Hendricks Ave. 398-4610. $$ MATTHEW’S Chef’s tasting menu or seasonal à la carte menu featuring an eclectic mix of Mediterranean ingredients. Dress is business casual, jackets optional. FB. D, Mon.-Sat. 2107 Hendricks Ave. 396-9922. $$$$ METRO DINER F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Historic 1930s diner offers award-winning breakfast and lunch. Fresh seafood and Southern cooking. Bring your own wine. B & L, daily. 3302 Hendricks Ave. 398-3701. $$ MORTON’S, THE STEAKHOUSE Morton’s specializes in generous portions of USDA prime aged beef as well as fresh


Advertising pro fish and lobster. The tableside menu presentation features every item described by the server. FB, TO. D, nightly. 1510 Riverplace Blvd. 399-3933. $$$ THE OLIVE TREE MEDITERRANEAN GRILLE F Mediterranean homestyle healthy plates: hummus, tebouleh, grape leaves, gyros, potato salad, kibbeh, spinach pie, Greek salad, daily specials. L & D, Mon.-Fri. 1705 Hendricks Ave. 396-2250. $$ PIZZA PALACE F All homemade from Mama’s awardwinning recipes: spinach pizza and chicken-spinach calzones. BW. L & D, daily. 1959 San Marco Blvd. 399-8815. $$ PULP F The juice bar offers fresh juices, frozen yogurt, teas, coffees; 30 kinds of smoothies, with flavored soy milks, organic frozen yogurt, granola. Daily. 1962 San Marco Blvd. 396-9222. $ RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE Consistent Best of Jax winner. Midwestern prime beef, fresh seafood, upscale atmosphere. FB. D, daily. 1201 Riverplace Blvd. 396-6200. $$$$ SAKE HOUSE See Riverside. 1478 Riverplace Blvd. 306-2188. $$ SAN MARCO DELI F Independently owned & operated classic diner serves grilled fish, turkey burgers. Vegetarian options. Mon.-Sat. 1965 San Marco Blvd. 399-1306. $ TAVERNA Tapas, small-plate items, Neapolitan-style wood-fired pizzas and entrées are served in a rustic yet upscale interior. BW, TO. L & D, Tue.-Sat. 1986 San Marco Blvd. 398-3005. $$$ VINO’S PIZZA F See Julington. This location offers a lunch buffet. L & D, daily. 1430 San Marco Blvd. 683-2444. $

has Southern-style cuisine made with a modern twist: Dishes are paired with international wines and beers, including a large selection of craft and IPA brews. FB. L & D, daily. 9475 Philips Hwy., Ste. 16. 538-0811. $$ SUNSET 30 TAVERN & GRILL F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Located in Latitude 30, Sunset 30 serves familiar favorites, including seafood, steaks, sandwiches, burgers, chicken, pasta and pizza. Dine inside or on the patio. FB. L & D, daily. promise of benefit 10370 Philips Hwy. 365-5555. $$ THE THIRSTY IGUANA CANTINA TAQUERIA Classic Mexican fare includes quesadillas, tacos, burritos, chimichangas, enchiladas and fajitas, as well as some killer nacho choices, made with fresh ingredients. L & D, daily. TO, FB, CM. 7605 Beach Blvd. 647-7947. $$ TOMMY’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA F Premium New York-style pizza from a brick-oven — the area’s original gluten-free pizzeria. Plus calzones, soups and salads; Thumann’s no-MSG meats, Grande cheeses and Boylan soda. BW. L & D, Mon.Sat. 4160 Southside Blvd., Ste. 2. 565-1999. $$ URBAN ORGANICS The local produce co-op offers seasonal fresh organic vegetables and fruit. Open Mon.-Sat. 5325 Fairmont St. 398-8012. WASABI JAPANESE BUFFET F AYCE sushi and two teppanyaki grill items are included in buffet price. FB. L & D, daily. 9041 Southside Blvd., Ste. 138C. 363-9888. $$

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SPRINGFIELD NORTHSIDE

SOUTHSIDE

AROMAS BEER HOUSE Offers customer favorites like ahi tuna with a sweet soy sauce reduction, backyard burger, triple-meat French dip. FB. L & D, daily. 4372 Southside Blvd. 928-0515. $$ BISTRO 41° F Casual dining features fresh, homemade breakfast and lunch dishes in a relaxing atmosphere. TO. B & L, Mon.-Fri. 3563 Philips Hwy., Ste. 104. 446-9738. $ BLUE BAMBOO Contemporary Asian-inspired cuisine includes rice-flour calamari, seared Ahi tuna, pad Thai. Street eats: barbecue duck, wonton crisps. BW. L, Mon.-Fri.; D, Mon.-Sat. 3820 Southside Blvd. 646-1478. $$ BOMBA’S SOUTHERN HOME COOKING F Southern homestyle fare, featuring fresh veggies. Outside dining is available. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 8560 Beach Blvd. 997-2291. $$ BUCA DI BEPPO Italian dishes served family-style in an eclectic, vintage setting. Half-pound meatballs are a specialty. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 10334 Southside Blvd. 363-9090. $$$ EL POTRO F Family-friendly, casual, El Potro cooks it fresh, made-to-order – fast, hot, simple. Daily specials and buffet at most locations. BW. L & D, daily. 5871 University Blvd. W., 7330844. 11380 Beach Blvd., 564-9977. elpotrorestaurant.com $ EUROPEAN STREET F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See San Marco. 5500 Beach Blvd. 398-1717. $ GENE’S SEAFOOD F Serving fresh Mayport shrimp, fish, oysters, scallops, gator tail, steaks and combos. L & D, daily. 11702 Beach Blvd. 997-9738. $$ HALA CAFE & BAKERY F A local institution since 1975 serving house-baked pita bread, kabobs, falafel and daily lunch buffet. TO, BW. L & D, Mon.-Sat. 4323 University Blvd. S. 733-5141. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 2025 Emerson St. 346-3770. $ LA NOPALERA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. See Intracoastal. 8206 Philips Hwy. 732-9433. $ SAKE SUSHI F The new restaurant offers sushi, hibachi, teriyaki, tempura, katsu, donburi and noodle soups. Popular rolls include Fuji Tama, Ocean Blue and Fat Boy. FB, CM. L & D, daily. 8206 Philips Hwy., Ste. 30. 647-6000. $$ SPECKLED HEN TAVERN & GRILLE F The stylish gastropub

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BOSTON’S RESTAURANT & SPORTSBAR F A full menu of sportsbar faves; pizzas till 2 a.m. Dine inside or on the patio. FB, TO. L & D, daily. 13070 City Station Dr., River City Marketplace. 751-7499. $$ CASA MARIA F Best of Jax 2011 winner. The familyowned restaurant serves authentic Mexican fare, including fajitas and seafood. The specialty is tacos de azada. CM, FB. L & D, daily. 12961 N. Main St., Ste. 104. 757-6411. $$ JENKINS QUALITY BARBECUE See Downtown. 5945 New promise of benefit Kings Rd. 765-8515. $ JOSEPH’S PIZZA & ITALIAN RESTAURANT F Gourmet pizzas, pastas. Authentic Italian entrees. BW. L & D, daily. 7316 N. Main St. 765-0335. $$ MILLHOUSE STEAKHOUSE F A locally-owned-and-operated steakhouse with choice steaks from the signature broiler, and seafood, pasta, Millhouse gorgonzola, homemade desserts. CM, FB. D, nightly. 1341 Airport Rd. 741-8722. $$ RIVERCITY ISLAND GRILL & CHILL F Casual fare: seafood, wings, burgers. 10 hi-def TVs, drink specials, club nights. L & D, daily. 13141 City Station Dr. 696-0802. $$ SALSARITA’S FRESH CANTINA F Southwest cuisine made from scratch; family atmosphere. CM, BW. L & D, daily. 840 Nautica Dr., Ste. 131, River City Marketplace. 696-4001. $ THREE LAYERS CAFE F Best of Jax 2011 winner. Lunch, bagels, desserts, and the adjacent Cellar serves fine wines. Inside and courtyard dining. BW. B, L & D, daily. 1602 Walnut St., Springfield. 355-9791. $ 3 LIONS SPORTS PUB & GRILL F Salads, sandwiches, pizza, fine European cuisine. Nightly specials. 2467 Faye Rd., Northside. 647-8625. $$ UPTOWN MARKET F In the 1300 Building at the corner of Third & Main, Uptown Market serves fresh fare made with the same élan that rules Burrito Gallery. Innovative breakfast, lunch and deli selections. BW, TO. 1303 Main St. N. 355-0734. $$ 

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WINE TASTINGS ANJO LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Thur. 9928 Old Baymeadows Rd., Ste. 1, 646-2656 AROMAS CIGAR & WINE BAR Call for schedule. 4372 Southside Blvd., 928-0515 BLUE BAMBOO 5:30-7:30 p.m., every first Thur. 3820 Southside Blvd., 646-1478 COPPER TOP SOUTHERN AMERICAN CUISINE 6-8 p.m. every Wed. 1712 Beach Blvd., Jax Beach, 249-4776 DAMES POINT MARINA Every 3rd Wed. 4518 Irving Rd., Northside, 751-3043 THE GIFTED CORK Tastings daily. 64 Hypolita St., St. Augustine, 810-1083 THE GRAPE 5-7:30 p.m. every Wed.; 1-4 p.m. every Sat. 10281 Midtown Pkwy., Ste. 119, SJTC, 642-7111 THE GROTTO 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 2012 San Marco Blvd., 398-0726 MONKEY’S UNCLE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1850 S. Third St., Jax Beach, 246-1070 NORTH BEACH BISTRO 6-8 p.m. every Tue. 725 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 6, Atlantic Beach, 372-4105 OCEAN 60 6-8 p.m every Mon. 60 Ocean Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 247-0060 O’KANE’S IRISH PUB 6:30 p.m. every 3rd Tue. 318 Centre St., Fernandina Beach, 261-1000

PUSSERS CARIBBEAN GRILL 6 p.m. every second Fri. 816 A1A N., Ste. 100, Ponte Vedra Beach, 280-7766 RIVERSIDE LIQUORS 5-8 p.m. every Fri. 1035 Park St., Five Points, 356-4517 THE TASTING ROOM 6-8 p.m. every first Tue. 25 Cuna St., St. Augustine, 810-2400 TASTE OF WINE Daily. 363 Atlantic Blvd., Ste. 9, Atlantic Beach, 246-5080 III FORKS PRIME STEAKHOUSE 5-6:30 p.m. every Mon. 9822 Tapestry Circle, Ste. 111, SJTC, 928-9277 TOTAL WINE & MORE Noon-6 p.m. every Fri. & Sat. 4413 Town Center Pkwy., Ste. 300, 998-1740 URBAN FLATS 5-8 p.m. every Wed. 9726 Touchton Rd., Tinseltown, 642-1488 WHOLE FOODS MARKET 6 p.m. every Thur. 10601 San Jose Blvd., Mandarin, 288-1100 THE WINE BAR 6-8 p.m. every Thur. 320 First St. N., Jax Beach, 372-0211 WINE WAREHOUSE 4-7 p.m. every Fri. 665 Atlantic Blvd., Atlantic Beach, 246-6450 4434 Hendricks Ave., San Marco, 448-6782 1188 Edgewood Ave. S., Riverside, 389-9997 4085 A1A S., St. Augustine Beach, 471-9900 

© 2011

JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | FOLIO WEEKLY | 37


Brain Freeze

A Michigan regional development commission, purchasing equipment for 13 counties with Homeland Security grants, bought 13 snow-cone machines, totaling $11,700 (after rejecting one county’s request for a popcorn machine). Pressed to justify the buys, officials pointed out that the machines make shaved ice, which may be useful for medical situations stemming from natural disasters and heat emergencies (but that they also make snow cones to draw crowds at Homeland Security demonstrations).

Recurring Themes

38 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

Once again, a genius tried to pass a piece of U.S. currency in an amount not even close to being legal tender: a $1 million bill. (The largest denomination is $100.) Michael Fuller, 53, was arrested in Lexington, N.C., in November when a Walmart cashier turned him in after he tried to buy electronics totaling $475.78 (apparently expecting change of $999,524.22). In October, Toni Jo Silvey, 49, was arrested in Houston when her ex, artist Peter Main, reported she made 146 phone calls in one day and over 1,000 (and 712 e-mails) in three months, following their ’09 split over his seeing a younger woman. She was also charged with attacking his home with a tire iron, eggs and a sword. Take Your Daughter/Son to Work days are popular at some companies, to show kids their parents’ work. Some criminals mimic the practice. Joseph Romano, 2-year-old son in tow, was allegedly selling drugs when police nabbed him in Sept. in Tunkhannock Township, Pa. Edward Chatman Jr., 32, arrested for rape in Oak Ridge, Tenn., in August, brought his 6-monthold baby with him when he climbed through the woman’s window (though, police said, he stashed the kid in another room during the assault). A cutting-edge treatment when NOTW first heard of it in 2000 is now mainstream for those suffering extreme diarrhea due to a lack of “predator bacteria” in the colon (perhaps caused by antibiotics). Among primary treatments now is a transplant — a transfusion of “fecal flora” from the gut of a bacteria-normal person, to restore a natural balance, introduced by a colonoscope after the stool is liquified in a blender. Following months of failed alternatives, Jerry Grant, 33, said in October that his transplant, at Mayo Clinic Scottsdale, worked quite well. A recent study reports success in 70 of 77 patients. The law of child support changes slowly in the U.S., but maybe less so in Australia. American courts are reluctant to end payments even if the man later disproves paternity (citing the harm to the child if payments stop). However, in October, Federal Magistrates Court in Melbourne, acting on fertility-test results, ordered a mother to reimburse the man she swore was the father after he proved he’d been sterile. The woman also “recalled,” after extensive therapy, that she may have had a one-night stand with a stranger around the time of conception. Perversion Du Jour: The 10-year-old lawenforcement crackdown on Internet child porn has lately hit a technicality-based roadblock. Several times recently, perverts have beaten charges after creating “child pornography” consisting of nude adult female bodies onto which facial photos of young girls were pasted. This handiwork was apparently arousing to two Lakeland, Fla., men, Danny Parker, convicted in 2011, and John Stelmack, convicted in 2010, but

both ultimately had their convictions overturned because no actual child was involved in sex. Forgetting to pay a storage locker’s monthly rental fees can have serious consequences if the locker was used to store embarrassing or incriminating materials. NOTW reported one such hapless client in ’07: a central Florida political activist under investigation whose locker yielded a rich trove for a local reporter. Similarly, perhaps, Dr. Conrad Murray (then under suspicion in Michael Jackson’s death) reportedly missed three payments on a Las Vegas storage locker; prosecutors recovered items that appeared to contribute to their case (though it’s not clear any of the items were presented in court). Hospital protocols may be changing, but too slowly for Doreen Wallace, who fell in the lobby of Ontario’s Greater Niagara General Hospital in October, breaking her hip. Though it was less than 150 feet from the lobby to the emergency room, hospital personnel, following rules, told her to call an ambulance to take her around to the ER. The nearest such ambulance, in the next city, didn’t arrive for 30 pain-filled minutes. Hospital officials said they’d handle things better in the future. A New York City jury awarded the family of a late teenager $1 million in November in its lawsuit against the city for mishandling the boy’s brain after his ’05 death. After “testing,” a medical examiner kept the brain in a jar on a shelf, where it was inadvertently spotted by the victim’s sister during a school field trip to the mortuary (treatment the family thought very disrespectful). The case calls to mind that of Arkansas rapist Wayne Dumond, who’d been castrated by vigilantes in 1984 and whose genitals the local sheriff recovered and kept in a jar on a shelf in his office as a symbol of “justice.” Dumond subsequently (in ’88) won $110,000 in a “disrespect” lawsuit against the sheriff.

Updates

Jennifer Petkov of Trenton, Mich., is still charming neighbors. An October 2010 Detroit News summary of a years-long feud between Petkov and various neighbors reported she’d been mercilessly taunting the family of Kathleen Edward, then 7 and suffering from the degenerating brain disorder Huntington’s disease, which had taken her mother the year before. The more Kathleen’s disability showed, the greater was Petkov’s Facebook-page glee. In October ’11, Petkov, after a short promise of civility, returned to mocking Kathleen and the memory of her mother, in recent Facebook postings: “You thought the [past] 4+ years were bad you [sic] haven’t seen nothing yet!” and “Block party when that kid dies.” In October, Colorado state Sen. Suzanne Williams settled more-serious 2010 traffic charges by pleading no contest to a misdemeanor and paying $268 to a court in Amarillo, Texas. State troopers accused Williams of driving with unbelted grandchildren in her SUV when it drifted across a center line and hit another vehicle, killing the driver and ejecting the kids. Texas troopers suggested Williams scooped up the worse-injured grandchild, put him in the SUV and belted him into a child seat — significant because Williams sponsored Colorado’s mandatory child-safety belting law in ’10. The grand jury declined to indict; she refused to discuss the case further.  Chuck Shepherd WeirdNews@earthlink.net


MARKET FRESH HONEY I saw you at the fresh market. Thought I recognized you from the JCP gym. You were doing exercises that needed great flexibility. At fresh market you were dressed to the nines. Me: Boyish looks, salt & pepper hair. You are in better shape than most if not all personal trainers so you know who you are. When: Dec. 21, 2011. Where: Fresh Market. #1230-0103

YOU RUN ACROSS MY MIND! You also run across all of Riverside. Literally. Slow down! I’ve been contemplating a conversation for the past couple of years. Curious to know if we play for the same team. You: Usually in sweatpants, sports bra, beanie and headphones. Me: Usually walking my dog and wearing scrubs. When: All the time. Where: Riverside. #1229-1206

NIKE WEARING DANCING QUEEN You: Nappy hair, tatted up and wearing Nike sneakers dancing away at the Ritz. Me: Short Italian with a big mouth. Your sexy moves and big ol boobs caught my eye! Wanna teach me to dance? When: Dec. 20, 2011. Where: The Ritz. #1229-0103

BAKING BLONDE IN A THUNDERBIRD You: Gorgeous blond baker girl with giant eyes and perfect smile in front of pulp around 10 with friends. Me: Severely modified guy with tail lacking intestines to speak. We’ve met a few times, but get friend vibe from you. Would slaughter a unicorn to get your attention. Coffee sometime?? When: Nov. 27, 2011. Where: Pulp/ San Marco. #1228-1206

PLANNING YOUR WAY TO MY HEART! I asked you to dance but being the event planner for the library, you smiled and said you could not! Would love to meet you away from work for a cocktail and dancing! You: Tall, bald, black sexy male in blue suit and white shirt! Me: Tall, white, slender blonde bridesmaid! Where: Main Library courtyard wedding reception. When: Nov. 4, 2011. Where: Main Library Downtown. #1228-0103 MAYO CLINIC MAN OF MY DREAMS I saw you in the Mayo Clinic parking lot with your dark hair and green sweatshirt getting out of your red Jeep Cherokee with the FSU license plate. I was the redhead in the Gator shirt. Not sure if you winked at me because of the UF/FSU thing or if you sensed a connection. Let’s find out... When: Dec. 14, 2011. Where: Mayo Clinic parking lot. #1237-1227 HELLOOOO NURSE! You: Gorgeous redhead medical assistant. Me: Unsuspecting patient. You had your scrubs inside out & backwards; I pointed this out while you were taking my pulse. Care to play doctor after hours? When: Dec. 1, 2011. Where: Commonwealth Family Practice. #1236-1220

BEAUTIFUL DANCER You: Purple dress, red bag, heels, hair up, dancing like your feet were on fire with a lot of girlfriends. Me: Shy guy in white shirt, blue sweater at the table by the door. Wanna teach me some dance moves? When: Nov. 26, 2011. Where: Suite at the Town Center. #1227-1206 NICE TRUCK…HOT GUY I noticed your truck on Mayport Rd first... silver with a DC sticker in the back window... Then I noticed your baby blue eyes... I’m the Pittsburgh fan in the Jeep... I’d like a closer look. When: Nov. 25, 2011. Where: Mayport Rd. #1226-1206 PUBLIX HOTTIE You asked me to buy a turkey dinner. I said no, but got a platter instead. I was mesmerized by your blue eyes and meat-selling techniques. Would you like to enjoy it with me?? You had dark hair and wore a red sweater. Me: Hungry for more of what you are selling. When: Nov. 20, 2011. Where: Jax Beach Publix. #1225-1206

FLOPPY HAT GUY We met eyes a couple of times, you were really cute. You drank your beer and left before I had a chance to say anything to you. Let’s meet up and talk like we should have. What kind of hat was I wearing? When: Dec. 13, 2011. Where: Park Place. #1235-1220

GARAGE SALE NEAR RATHBONE Please indulge me: Years ago, an artist saw you in a golden dream. So inspired, he wrote a symphony called Good Vibrations. You: Long blonde hair, jean shorts, with ladies. Me: Black shirt, sunglasses. Passed on everything and turned to see you looking in my direction. Heaven knows I wanted to say hello. Love to see you again if possible. When: Nov. 19, 2011. Where: Garage Sale. #1224-1129

TALL GREEN-EYED BARTENDER TAILGATERS You: Wearing a black pullover and a beanie. You asked what I wanted to drink. I said “a shot to warm me up,” you smiled. I had to leave with my group; maybe you can suggest a shot that we could have together. When: Dec. 11, 2011. Where: Tailgaters parking. #1234-1220

HOSTESS HOTTIE You: Blonde, blue eyes, Matthew McConaughey look-a-like, the all-American dream. You were having lunch with your boss. You called but hung up before I could give you my number. I have the perfect table for two. When: Nov. 2, 2011. Where: P.F. Changs, St. Johns Town Center. #1223-1129

FLAWLESS TATTED PEARL SATURDAY GIRL You: Short and slender blonde wearing a beanie, white tank top; half-sleeve / back tatted. Me: Tall, dark, tatted, snake bites. I told you you were gorgeous and you said “ditto.” Dancing with a friend near me and we both admitted to scoping each other out. Come dance with me on Saturday nights? When: Sept. 24, 2011. Where: The Pearl. #1233-1220

SUSHI AND HOOKAH You: Mohawk at sushi in Oak Leaf. Me with my best friend. You sat down with us. I love the blue shirt you had on and

BLUE EYES AT THE REGISTER You: Working the register, prettiest ice-blue eyes I’ve ever seen, pulled-back brown hair, tattoos peaking out of sleeves. Me: Cargo shorts, brown hair and beard, Gators shirt. I bought a pack of cigarettes and milk. We shared meaningful eye contact and a suggestive smile. Let me know if you’re interested in batting for the same team... When: Dec. 9, 2011. Where: CVS A1A South, Anastasia. #1232-1220 WORLD’S BEST/ CUTEST DISHWASHER You had a dark blonde mohawk hidden under a black hat. You came out to bus tables and retreated back to your dish-pit disco. I tried to get a final look at your adorable mug and caught you making a soap beard. You rule; let’s drink beer and listen to Leatherface. When: Dec. 9, 2011. Where: Dish-pit at The Floridian. #1231-1220 DEVASTATINGLY HANDSOME GEORGIA FAN Wanted serendipity to strike a third time. You introduced yourself first at FL/GA and blindsided me at the Jags game when you took your sister. When you smiled, I forgot my own name, much less to give you my number. Up for a friendly rivalry? You: Warm Brunette Georgia Boy. Me: Dark curlyhaired Gator Girl. When: Oct. 29, 2011. Where: EverBank Field. #1230-1213

how we had a great time. Glad u left with us for hookah. I knew when I met you I would see you again. How soon is too soon? When: Nov. 2, 2011. Where: Sushi. #1222-1122 MISTER HEAVENLY You: Blonde with Miami hat on backwards, arm sleeve. You kept looking, then stood by me but never spoke. Don’t be shy. I never make first moves. Me: Well, you know; you stared long enough ;) When: Nov. 8, 2011. Where: Café 11, St. Auggie. #1221-1115 VEXING VOLCOM A little after 9 pm. You: Wearing a black Volcom hoodie, and wearing it well. Me: Noticing nothing but you. Wondering if you’d like to bump into me there again Sunday, Nov 13th about the same time? When: Nov. 1, 2011. Where: The Pita Pit in Jax Beach. #1220-1115 WALKIN’ AFTER MIDNIGHT It was Halloween and you were dressed as the most beautiful woman in the world. I saw your radiant eyes and fell in love all over again. Nurse, you give me fever that’s so hard to bear. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Let me treat you right? When: Oct. 31, 2011. Where: Wall Street. #1219-1108 SEA SHELL Dear Sir, I put a seashell into your hand ... Nearly 2 months later, I chanced upon your newspaper gesture (was charmed and surprised). Responded back to your listing, but to no avail. Alas! Curiosity may have killed the cat? ... Consider this take two. When: Sept. 3, 2011. Where: The Floridian Restaurant. #1218-1108 BODACIOUS BURRO BARTENDER You: Model-looking chick workin’ the bar, slender like a traffic light, wondering if you could show me the red-light special? Me: mesmerized, Burro is now my favorite Jax bar. When: Oct. 24, 2011. Where: Burro Bar. #1217-1108 SIR, I’M A CATCH I was dancing with friends, you were too. You spilled your drink down my back and bought me one to make up for it. I wish I had concocted a business proposal sooner! You: Fearless and full of bravado. Me: A fine catch, sir. Sign that business proposal! When: Aug. 6, 2011?. Where: Lit/ Downtown. #1216-1108 HANDSOME MAN ON HIS BMW You were pumping gas for your motorcycle at the Shell station off Gate Parkway on 9/30/2011, Jacksonville. I watched you thinking … wow! You: Long pony tail, shades and cute dimples. Me: Tall brunette, jeans and t-shirt. I’ve been thinking about you and would love a ride on your bike. Call me. When: Sept. 30, 2011. Where: Shell Gas Station @ Gate Parkway. #1215-1108

BEAUTIFUL BALLERINA IN BLACK You: Extremely hot, petite blonde; the kind you want to take home to Mom. You were walking around helping anyone who raised their hand. Me: Too scared to raise my hand to get your number. Let’s do drinks or dinner sometime. When: Oct. 24, 2011. Where: The Trading Floor. #1214-1108 AUBURN BEAUTY You: short cut-off jean shorts and black shirt with the shoulder straps. Beautiful auburn hair. You came into my work and got a sub. Me: Dark hair with eyebrow pierced. I was making your sub. You are a true beauty and I would like to take you out and see if there’s a spark. Hope to hear from you ;) When: Oct. 25, 2011. Where: Fleming Island. #1213-1101 WHITEY’S FISH CAMP & PATRON SHOTS We met at Whitey’s and had some shots and then I lost you and never got your number. I guess the shots got to me, but not as much as you got to me. Hope you find this; I would like to see you again. When: Oct. 24, 2011. Where: Whitey’s Fish Camp. #1212-1101 MY BROWN EYED GIRL… It was that special night I cannot forget. Looking into your soft brown eyes it made my heart skip a beat and wanted to freeze time so I could forever cherish that moment. When: Oct. 20, 2011. Where: Fresh Off The Bus. #1211-1101 QUIET HANDSOME BARTENDER You: Polite, no frills bartender, working in the front taproom. Just want you to know that you have a nice smile. When: Oct. 20, 2011. Where: Ragtime. #1210-1101 NINJA WENCH… You approached with a hello, several adult beverages later, a misguided GPS, and a night I’ll never forget. Breakfast again soon? And many convos... You know how to find me :) When: Oct. 7, 2011. Where: United States. #1209-1025 BREW AT THE ZOO You were sampling a piece of aged sirloin as I was saying that “I highly recommended it.” Me: Blonde hair, was wearing a blue polo w/ orange horse, jeans, flip flops. You, Beautiful/ natural blonde, brown leg boots and dark jeans. Would love to meet you for real instead of just passing. When: Oct. 7, 2011. Where: Brew at the Zoo. #1205-1018 HOTTIE IN BLUE NIRVANA SHIRT Saw you there, the row behind me singing the words to every song. Smiled at you but was too nervous to do anything. I was in the dark pink tank top the row in front and to your right. When: Oct. 7, 2011. Where: Florida Theatre Death Cab Concert. #1204-1018 

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): “It is surely a great calamity for a human being to have no obsessions,” said poet Robert Bly. That’s why he decided to learn to love his obsessions. Keep his approach in mind throughout the months ahead. You’re likely to thrive to the degree that you precisely identify and vigorously harness your obsessions. Note I’m not saying you should allow your obsessions to possess you like demons and toss you like a rag doll. I’m not advising you fall down before your obsessions and worship them like idols. Be wildly grateful for them; love them with your fiery heart fully unfurled, but keep them under the control of your fine mind. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.” Rumor has it that this pithy observation was spoken by Albert Einstein. You’ll be smart to keep it in mind throughout 2012. According to my astrological analysis, you’ll have an excellent opportunity to identify, hone and express your specific brilliance. It’s crucial to eliminate any tendency you may have to see yourself as being like a fish whose job is to climb a tree. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In his book “Priceless: How I Went Undercover to Rescue the World’s Stolen Treasures,” former FBI agent Robert K. Wittman tells about the world’s second largest crystal ball. Worth $350,000 and once belonging to the Chinese Dowager Empress, it was stolen from a museum. Wittman never located the actual robber, but years later he tracked down the crystal ball to a person who’d acquired it quite innocently, by accident. The young New Jersey witch was unaware of its origins or value, and kept it on her bedroom dresser with a baseball cap on top of it. I suspect you may have a comparable adventure in the months ahead. If you look hard and keep an open mind, you’ll eventually recover lost riches or a disappeared prize in the least likely place. CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s impossible for the human body to run a mile in less than four minutes — at least that’s what conventional wisdom used to say. And indeed, no one in history ever broke that barrier until May 6, 1954, when Roger Bannister raced a mile in three minutes, 59.4 seconds. Since then, lots of athletes have done it and the record has been lowered by another 17 seconds. In fact, the sub-four-minute mile is now regarded as a standard accomplishment for middle-distance runners. I suspect that in 2012, you’ll accomplish your version of Bannister’s feat — a breakthrough that once seemed crazy difficult or beyond your capacity. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Back in 1958, 17-yearold Bob Heft created a 50-star American flag for a high school project. Hawaii and Alaska were being considered for U.S. statehood then, and a new design was needed to replace the old 48-star flag. Heft’s teacher first gave him a grade of B- for his work, but when his model was selected to be the actual American flag, the teacher raised it to an A. I suspect a similar progression is in store in the year ahead. Some work you did that never received proper credit is finally accorded the value it deserves.

40 | FOLIO WEEKLY | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Greek philosopher Plato suggested we may become more receptive to spiritual beauty by putting ourselves in the presence of physical beauty. The stimulation we get when inspired by what looks good may help train us to recognize sublime truths. I’m not so sure. In my experience, people often get so entranced by emotional and bodily responses to attractive sights and sounds, they neglect to search for higher, subtler sources of splendor. I believe you may be an exception to this in the months ahead. That’s why

I’m giving you the go-ahead — nay, the mandate — to surround yourself with physical beauty. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Before he died in 1902, Libran cartoonist Thomas Nast left a potent legacy. Among his enduring creations were the modern image of Santa Claus, the iconic donkey for America’s Democratic Party, and the Republican Party elephant. I’m guessing 2012 will be a Nast kind of year for you. The work you do and the ripples you set in motion are likely to last a long time. Choose the influences you unleash with great care and integrity. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “If you’re in a good relationship, chances are you’re bored out of your mind,” spouts comedian Chris Rock in his show “Never Scared.” “All good relationships are boring. The only exciting relationships are bad ones. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow when you’re in a bad relationship. You never know when they’re gonna walk through the door and say, ‘Hey, you gave me crabs.’ That’s exciting!” Rock is making a satirical overstatement, but it has grains of truth. Which is why, in accordance with astrological omens, I request you cultivate stable relationships that are boring in all the best ways. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Once every decade or so, you’re asked to make a special point of practicing forgiveness and atonement. According to my reading of the astrological omens, that time will be the next few months. It’ll be quite important to cleanse the grungy build-up of regrets and remorse from your psyche. Ready to get started? Compose a list of the sins you could expiate, karmic debts you can repay and redemptions you should initiate. Make it a fun, creative project you’ll thoroughly enjoy. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Happiness isn’t a state you acquire by luck. It takes hard work and relentless concentration. You have to rise up and rebel against the nonstop flood of trivial chaos and meaningless events you’re invited to wallow in. Overcome the hard-core cultural conditioning tempting you to assume suffering is normal and the world’s a hostile place. It’s really quite unnatural to train yourself to be peaceful and mindful; it’s essentially a great rebellion against an unacknowledged taboo. Here’s the good news: 2012 is an excellent time to do this work. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): More and more musicians and authors are choosing to self-publish. That way, they retain the full rights to their creative work, keeping it from being controlled and potentially misused by a record label or publishing company. One example is singer-songwriter Terri Hendrix, who owns all 14 of her master recordings. She lives by the motto, “Own Your Own Universe.” Adopt her approach in 2012. The months ahead will be prime time to do all you can to take full possession of everything you need to become what you want to be. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The months ahead are a time when you’ll thrive by seeking out novel ideas, using new words and regarding your imagination as an organ as important to feed as your stomach. Here’s a slew of freshly made-up terms to help tease your brain in ways in alignment with upcoming astrological factors. They’re from the NSFW dictionary at http://tinyurl. com/Dixtionary. 1. Assymectricity: energy generated by lopsidedness. 2. Enigmagnetic: a person who attracts mysteries. 3. Indumbnitable: incapable of being dumbed down. 4. Beneviolent: helpful chaos. 5. Fauxbia: a fake fear. 6. Craptometry: ability to see through all the BS. 7. Adoregasm: when you treasure someone to the point of ecstasy.  Rob Brezsny freewillastrology@freewillastrology.com


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JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 41


FOLIO WEEKLY PUZZLER by Merl Reagle. Presented by

Florida’s Finest Jeweler SAN MARCO 2044 SAN MARCO BLVD. 398-9741

PONTE VEDRA

SOUTHSIDE

330 A1A NORTH 280-1202

10300 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. 394-1390

THE SHOPPES OF PONTE VEDRA

Welcome, 2012!

NOTE: This puzzle contains twenty 12s, nineteen of which are in the clues. Can you find the lone 12 that’s hidden in the answers? It’s plainly visible, reading across or down. (Hint: It’s not six letters long.) Answer next week. Happy new year! ACROSS Kaplan who played Kotter Volcano output Sailing Lab gel Ordering option 12 in the title of a 1995 Bruce Willis film El ___ TX 12 on a to-do list Unseat “___ objections?” “There but for the grace of God ___” Therapist’s reply Stein filler Some P.D. personnel 12 in a troy pound Every last one AAA suggestions 12 in a program 12 on a ruler Milky gemstones 12 on a pair of dice Beagle or Bounty preceder Accomplishment Massachusetts town on Buzzards Bay Approval of a sort Pony up Justice since 2006 Fix, as a pump 12 high-level gods and goddesses Mohawked muscleman Day-care charge Restorative place Surg. sites 12 from an imaginary belt

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AVONDALE 3617 ST. JOHNS AVE. 388-5406

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42 | folio weekly | JANUARY 3-9, 2012

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Roots Rock

Recently discovered slave graves resurrect discussion on the origins of African Americans

T

he Florida Times-Union and Folio Weekly both reported that University of Florida archaeologist James Davidson studied five of six slave graves discovered at Kingsley Plantation, on Fort George Island on Jacksonville’s Northside. Davidson left the remains undisturbed but examined miscellaneous artifacts, like buttons. Yoruba priestess Ok Sun Burks consecrated the burial ground. Burks is a member of the African musical ensemble Olorun, as is Frances Calhoun Bradley, also present for the consecration. Citing information from Bradley, a TimesUnion reporter wrote in 2002, “Most black Americans descended from the Yoruba … .” Unfortunately, the Times-Union overstated the case. Hardly any Yoruba came to the United States in the slave trade. Yoruba came from the Bight of Benin, a semicircular gouge in the African coast along Benin, Togo and southwestern Nigeria. In his 1969 book, “The Transatlantic Slave Trade: A Census,” Philip D. Curtin examined slave imports to the Englishspeaking Southeast. Curtin estimated only 4.3 percent of Africans brought to the Southeast came from the Bight of Benin. For about $100, African Americans can use a DNA test to seek an African match for their maternal or paternal ancestry. Tested for the NBC show “Who Do You Think You Are?” football player Emmitt Smith learned that both his maternal and paternal ancestry have their closest matches in the modern country of Benin. Most African Americans, however, should not expect a match in the Bight of Benin. Portuguese, Spanish and French slave traders often visited the Bight of Benin, but the English rarely did. Many Yoruba arrived in Portuguese Brazil and Spanish Cuba. The French brought slaves from the Bight of Benin to Haiti and Louisiana. In his book, “The Final Victims,” James A. McMillan wrote that Louisiana was the only European colony on mainland North America to import large numbers of slaves from the Bight of Benin. The Yoruba was only one of several groups from the region; others included Edo, Fon and Ewe. In her book, “Slavery and African Ethnicities in the Americas,” Gwendolyn Midlo Hall cautioned that even in Louisiana, only about four percent of identified African ethnicities were “Nago” (Yoruba). France claimed Louisiana from 1699 to 1763, and briefly again from 1800 to 1803, just before Napoleon sold the region to the United States in the 1803 Louisiana Purchase. Spain claimed Louisiana from 1763 to 1800. In French and Spanish documents, Africans often identified their own ethnicity. This helped Hall document the scarcity of Yoruba in Louisiana.

Slave cabins at Kingsley Plantation, near where the new gravesites were discovered.

Yoruba have an undeniable cool factor. Yoruba gods and goddesses are the “saints” of the Afro-Caribbean religion of Santeria. Yoruba, Fon and Ewe influenced voodoo in Haiti and Louisiana. The word voodoo comes from vodun, the Ewe word for “spirit” or “deity.” In her 1959 play, “A Raisin in the Sun,” playwright Lorraine Hansberry included the character Asagai, a Nigerian exchange student of Yoruba heritage. Efuntola Oseijeman Adefunmi (born Walter Eugene King) received ordination as a Yoruba priest in Cuba in 1959 and in Nigeria in 1972. In 1970, Adefunmi founded the Yoruba-themed Oyotunji African Village, now operating in Beaufort County, S.C. Over the decades, thousands of African Americans have learned of their “Yoruba heritage” at Oyotunji. In the book “Africans in Colonial Louisiana,” Hall explained that most Africans in Louisiana came from Senegambia, the region around the Senegal and Gambia rivers. The area featured Mandingo and Bambara, who spoke languages of the Mande family. The Fulbe (Fulani) also lived there, as settled farmers or long-distance merchants. Despite wars of religion, expansion and royal succession, the people of this region were good neighbors. In his 1738 account of Senegambia, Francis Moore wrote that the Fulbe “never suffer any of their own Nation to want; but support the Old, the Blind, and Lame … and, as far as their Ability goes, assist the Wants of the Mundingoes, great Numbers of whom they have maintained in Famines.” Hall insisted the Bambara (or “Bamana”) were the most influential Senegambians in Louisiana. They introduced zinzin (an amulet of power) and grigri or grisgris (a charm to jinx a rival). In an essay for the book “Sources and Methods in African History,” Kevin Roberts argued that Bambara influenced the Louisiana

countryside, but Yoruba-Fon-Ewe culture was concentrated in New Orleans. In the city’s Congo Square, Fon and Yoruba combined their rituals with Congolese dance. Along the Middle Niger, just east of Senegambia, the Bambara organized their unmarried young men into a “ton” (association). The ton worked farms for widows and rushed to defend neighboring villages from slave raids. Bambara elders controlled wealth, regulating when young men could marry and become elders in their own right. Mamari Kulibali, chosen as a ton commander and aided by a water spirit, organized the defensive militia into an army of aggression. In 1712, the city of Segu became the center of a Bambara empire. Richard L. Roberts, author of “Warriors, Merchants and Slaves,” depicted the founding of the Segu Empire as a youth rebellion, because elders claimed most eligible brides for themselves at the expense of young men in the ton. Sundiata A. Djata, author of “The Bamana Empire by the Niger,” emphasized that the Bambara clung to their traditional religion. Kevin Roberts believed a reputation as warriors and resisters followed the Bambara to Louisiana, prompting other Africans in the French colony to adopt Bambara culture as their own. Looking at the years 1729 to 1743, Gwendolyn Hall found almost 6,000 slaves arriving in French Louisiana directly from Africa. About 66 percent came from Senegambia, 5 percent from West Central Africa (the Congo-Angola region), and 29 percent from the Bight of Benin. Lacking such records for the Spanish period, Hall studied records in Point Coupee Parish from 1772 through 1802 (years mostly within the Spanish period). Planters listed the Bight of Benin as the origin of 29 percent of their Africans, larger than the contingent from any other African region. Nevertheless, almost as high a proportion (27

percent) still came from Senegambia. Senegambians were popular with South Carolina planters. The influence of the South Carolina slave market means many African Americans in Florida and Georgia probably have Senegambian heritage. A 1784 advertisement for “Prime Healthy Gambia Negroes” in the South Carolina Gazette described Gambians as “universally reckoned the best that can be imported, they being … well acquainted with the cultivation of rice, indigo and tobacco.” Rice was a major crop for coastal South Carolina and Georgia. Curtin calculated that 19.5 percent of Africans brought to South Carolina came from Senegambia. Another 23.1 percent came from the Windward Coast (roughly modern Liberia) and Sierra Leone combined. Many people in these regions, like the Mende, Vai and Temne, spoke Mande languages related to Bambara. Florida planter Zephaniah Kingsley (for whom the Fort George plantation is named) owned slaves from many African regions, but probably few from the Bight of Benin. In an 1812 raid, Seminole Indians took several slaves from Laurel Grove, Kingsley’s Orange Park plantation. In a chapter for the book “Colonial Plantations and Economy in Florida,” Jacksonville historian Daniel L. Schafer published Kingsley’s list of slaves taken from Laurel Grove. Kingsley listed Susu from Guinea and East Africans from Zanzibar, but no one from the Bight of Benin. Overestimates of Yoruba numbers aside, many Africans practiced ceremonies similar to the Yoruba and would have appreciated such observances.  Brian Patrick O’Malley

O’Malley lives in Atlantic Beach and blogs at http://brianomalley1776.blogspot.com

Folio Weekly welcomes Backpage Editorial submissions. Essays should be at least 1,200 words and on a topic of local interest or concern. Email your Backpage to themail@folioweekly.com or snail mail it to Anne Schindler, Editor, Folio Weekly, 9456 Philips Highway, Ste. 11, Jacksonville FL 32256. Opinions expressed on the Backpage are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editors or management of Folio Weekly. JANUARY 3-9, 2012 | folio weekly | 43


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