Fargo Monthly May 2020 by Spotlight Media

MAY 2020

COMPLIMENTARY

Sincerely, Fargo A Fa rg o - M o o r h e ad L i te rar y Jo u r n al

TABLEOFCONTENTS

FARGO MONTHLY // MAY 2020

COVER STORY

16 40

SINCERELY, FARGO

Our community continues to be defined by grit, determination and creativity. It is with these qualities that Fargo-Moorhead has continued to forge ahead during this incomprehensible time in our society's existence. In a time where doubt and worry can reign supreme, we wanted to turn this issue of Fargo Monthly over to you, the citizens of FargoMoorhead. Whether it was in the form of artwork, photography, short story, poem or essay, our community came together in this issue. As a community, we will rise continue to forge ahead and rise together.

FEATURES 40 Spotlight Celebrates Its 10th Anniversary 46 Pristine Parks 61 Livewire 6 50 54 56 58

RECURRING Editor's Letter 5 Things to Eat and Drink Meet the Maker Think Global, Act Local Health & Wellness Spotlight

ON THE COVER: "Into Clouds" by Chelsea Odden

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CREATIVITY ABOUNDS!

've always had a wild imagination. When I was in kindergarten, I came up with this character based on a crude drawing I did one day at school. I invented a story for this character (named Johnny Waffle) and made my mom type it all out (my mom is a court reporter, so she is much better at typing than me) on our old Gateway 98 computer when I got home. So if someone ever asks me if I have ever written a book, I'll say: "Yeah, The Adventures Of Johnny Waffle, only one copy printed. Have you never heard of it?"

"Peppers" By Kevin Zepper. Without the help and guidance of Kevin Zepper and Thom Tammaro (featured poem on page 37), I am not writing this and an idea like this would not exist. Thank you for helping me find my true passions in life and believing in me along the way, Kevin and Thom.

In part, that helped blossom my love for writing and storytelling. My imagination has always led me to a creative field in some fashion, oftentimes through writing. The original plan for this issue was to do our annual weekend getaways issue. Unfortunately, as much as we'd like to get away right now, there is no way to do that completely.

As we went back to the drawing board, I think our main focus was to create an issue that would help hold up our community in this tough time. People are being laid off, businesses are closing, families are struggling and we as a publication need to become an escape for those who are struggling and our community in general. That is when I thought it might be a good idea to let FargoMoorhead become the authors. As an English graduate, the idea of fielding fiction, non-fiction and poetry submissions from our community was incredibly enticing. Couple that with local visual art and we could have a really neat keepsake to rally around at this time. In my opinion, the best stories are written from our own experiences. Ernest Hemingway wrote A Farewell To Arms based on his experiences in World War I. Ken Kesey penned One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest after working at a mental hospital and being a willing test subject in the government's probe into psychoactive drugs. A bout with some foul crab meat drove

Bram Stoker to dream of a vampire rising from his grave. On the other side of that dream came perhaps the most important entry in gothic literature (and my all-time favorite book), Dracula. With all of us sheltered inside our homes, I figured now would be a good time to hear the experiences of our community. The result is this mini literary journal made up entirely of local works. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do because it is my favorite edition of Fargo Monthly to date. Stay strong and do not be afraid to plumb the depths of your imagination right now. You never know what may be waiting on the other side...

Nolan Schmidt

Volume 10 / Issue 5

MAY 2020

Fargo Monthly Magazine is published 12 times a year and is free. Copies are available at more than 500 Fargo-Moorhead locations and digitally at fargomonthly.com.

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Sincerely, Fargo A Fa rg o- M o o r h e a d L i terar y Jo u r n al Ou r co m mu nit y co nt i nue s to b e defin ed by g rit, d e ter m in at io n a nd cre at i vi t y. I t i s with th ese qu a li t ie s t h at Fa rgo - M o o rhe a d ha s con tin u ed to forg e ah e ad d uri ng t hi s i nco mp re hen sible tim e in ou r s o c ie t y's exi s te nc e. I n a t i me wh ere dou bt an d wor r y c an re ig n s up re me , we wa nted to tu r n th is i ssu e o f Fa rg o Mo n th l y ove r to yo u , th e citizen s of Farg o - M o o r h e a d. W he t he r i t wa s in th e for m of a r two r k , p h o to g ra p hy, s ho r t s to r y, poem or essay, ou r co m mu nit y c a me to ge t he r i n t h e followin g pa g es. Ho p e fu lly, i t w i ll p rovi de a n escape to th ose who are s t r u g gli ng, eve n i f i t i s j ust for a few m om e n t s. A s a co m mu nity, we w i ll co nt i nue to forge ah ead a n d r is e to g e t h e r. 17

" Qu a ra n t in e Dreams" By W. Scott Olsen

Mustang Pie B y W. S cot t Olsen The s peedo meter d o e s n o t c re e p p as t 10 0 m i les p er hour. I t sh o o t s. I t exp lo d e s. I t ke e p s o n go i n g. I a m ter r if i ed. No t o f th e s p e e d . I’ve d ri ve n this fast a h un dred ti m e s b e fo re. I’m s c are d o f t he po te n t i a l. T h e speed o m e te r go e s u p to 16 0 , s ay s i t me asu res “Gro un d S p e e d .” I d o n’t th i n k I c a n bur y the ne edle b ut I a m s u re I c a n co m e c lo s e. No r t h Dakota h ig h ways a re s tra i gh t e n o u gh fo r m e to t r y. I want to t r y. 12 : 2 5 o n a wa r m S atu rd ay a f te r n o o n i n Ju ly, a n ove rc a st sk y, so m e s u n b re a ks m ov i n g th ro u gh, a nd I am drivin g a silver, co nve r ti b le , Mu s tan g GT, rented fro m Avis j u st fo r t h e th r i ll, o n my way to Tower Ci t y fo r not h i n g mo re t han a p i e c e o f p i e. T h e c a r i s f resh, on ly 20,7 5 3.3 mi les o n th e o d o m e te r s o far. It feels tight. A few mo m en t s a go, s i tti n g i n th e c a r i n my own d riveway, g et t in g re ady to go, I watc h e d my n ei g hbor, C haun, b a ck o u t o f h i s d r i veway i n h i s b lac k conve r t i b le C a mero. He b a c ke d u p to my d ri veway and revved h is en g i n e. He k n ow s I love my Je e p, but I’ve tea sed h i m a b ou t Mu s tan gs fo r ye ar s. G M ver sus Fo rd . T h e o ld r i va lr y. I rev ve d th e Mu s tan g’s eng i ne in re tu r n . Two g row n m e n ac ti n g li ke te e n age r s a nd smiling t h e w h o le wh i le. When I pu ll o u t o f th e d r i veway, h e i s wai ti ng for m e. “ Th at lo o ks g o od o n yo u ,” h e s ay s. I smi le a n d po i n t at th e i n te r s e c ti o n a f u ll ten fe e t in f ro n t o f u s. “R a ce yo u to t h e co r n e r,” I s ay. He lo o ks a h ea d a n d s m i le s. 18 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

“ Sound s d a ng erous,” he rep li es. We ta lk for a m om ent a nd t hen he leaves. Poli tely. A m om ent later, I t ur n onto Si xt h S tre e t t hen p a use at t he i nter sect i on of Si xt h a nd 40th Avenue. Thi s i s where my nei g hbor hood ends. I look bot h way s a nd bot h way s a re clea r. I rea lly should n’t d o t hi s, I t hi nk . I f loor i t a nd t he t i res com e to li fe, scre e ching a nd sp i nni ng a nd sm oki ng a li t t le. I let of f t he g a s a nd t ur n r i g ht. Oh, I t hink, I rem em ber t hi s. The t ra f f i c i s li g ht a nd t he d ay i s wa r m. Me rg ing onto t he I nter state, I a d m i t I love i t. The fe e ling of sud d en a ccelerat i on f rom t he V8 eng i ne and the feeli ng t hat i t would not be i m p ossi ble to launch this t hi ng i nto outer sp a ce. I know where t he spe e d traps a re i n town. I d r i ve by t hem ever y d ay. I p as s the f i r st one by 25 t h St reet a nd f i nd my self chuckling, say i ng he he he out loud , t r y i ng at f i r st to s ound like Ma ur i ce Cheva li er. Then I p a ss t he sp eed trap by I-29 a nd say i t a g a i n, t r y i ng to sound li ke B a r r y White. I t ’s way too ea sy to g et up a nd g oi ng i n this car. I t hi nk I ’m d oi ng 60 m p h yet when I look at the gauge I see I ’m d oi ng 85. A nd I have a d eci si on to make. Rock a nd Roll or cla ssi ca l. Thi s i s t he A m e rican road t r i p. Mood i s ever y t hi ng. I a lway s a ssum ed I would bla st old st y le rock, t he hi g hway song s, m otion and t hund er a nd p ulse. B ut t here’s a p i ece for clarine t by Mend elssohn on Mi nnesota P ubli c Ra d i o I ’ve neve r hea rd before. Pat i ence, I t hi nk .

Go i n g t h ro u gh th e co n s tr u c ti o n i n We s t Fa rg o, th e speed li mi t go i n g d ow n to 55 m p h , I c ross t he Sheyen n e R i ver. I p a s s th e H ar ley- Dav i d s on d ea ler. Tra f f i c h a s b ecom e a s low li n e o f c a r s j u s t wa i t i ng for th e ro a d to o pe n agai n . O n t h e fa r s i d e o f co n s tr u c ti o n , th e s peed li m i t goes up to 7 5. I p re s s th e acc e le rato r a n d zoom . Away we g o ! T h en I bac k i t o ff b e c au s e to o q u i ckly I a m do in g 9 0 mph . I p a s s a tr u c ke r w h o s m i le s at m e a nd poi n t s dow n t h e ro ad . A n o th e r s p e e d tra p wa i t s just ah ea d. I set t le i n to a s p e e d , re a lly n o t th at fast , only 80 mph , b ut I ’m pa s s i n g eve r yo n e o n th e ro ad . That ’s th e way i t sh o u ld b e i n a p o ny c a r, h e a d i ng west on an Amer i ca n h igh way. T h ere’s a lon g o p e n s tre tc h o f ro ad e a st of C a sselto n , co r n a n d s u n f lowe rs i n th e fi e ld s on ei t her side o f m e a n d I th i n k I j u s t m i gh t u nw i n d t hi s t hi ng. I f lo o r it to pa s s a tr u c k a n d ye p, th e re ’s 10 0. May be a lit t le mo re. M ay b e a lo t m o re. T h e c a r fe els a s st uck to t h e ro a d a s a c a r c a n b e a n d s o m ew h e re i nsi d e my chest I ca n feel my 16 - ye ar- o ld s e lf i n h ale t he r ush. I re memb er t h i s. T h is i s da n ge ro u s a n d i r re s p o n s i b le and cr i m i na l an d a t h reat to o th e r s a n d my s e lf. T h i s i s f un. T h ere’s m o re co n s tr u c ti o n a ro u n d th e exi t for Bu f fa lo Alice (t wo tow n s , o n e n am e d B u f fa lo, one n a m ed Alice—bu t p e o p le re fe r to th e exi t a s i f i t were a per so n ) an d w h i le we ’re a ll m ov i n g slowly an o t h er C a m ero, b lac k w i th re d ra c i n g s tr i p es, com es up b eh in d m e. W h e n th e co n s tr u c ti o n e n d s, I blow aro un d t h e seda n i n f ro n t o f m e j u s t to s how of f a nd th e C a m ero punc h e s i t aro u n d my le ft s i d e t hen slows to m atch my sp e e d n ext to m e , a go o d b i t a bove 90. It ’s clea r h e wa n ts to ra c e. I lo o k ove r at hi m . I f he were clo ser to my age I m i gh t b e te m p te d . B ut he’s a ki d. No t en o u g h age fo r j u d ge m e n t. I le t hi m p roceed . Never t r ust a nyo n e u n d e r 3 0. T h ere’s so m e th i n g v i s c e ra l an d p e rh ap s even sexy a b o u t f lo or i n g th e a cc e le rato r a n d fe eli ng your b a ck press in to th e s e at, th e b o d i ly a p p re hensi on of accelerat io n . I tu n e B o b S e ge r i n to th e ra d i o. The Do o b ie Bro t h er s. A li ttle b i t o f D u a n e a n d Greg g. A lit t le b it o f S k y n a rd . T h e rest o f th e way we s t I s e t th e c r u i se cont rol, b ut I set it fa st. T h e f i e ld s a re e n d le s s. T he cloud s are t h i ck en o ug h to ke e p th e h i gh way co o l. I co uld do t h i s all th e way to th e Pa c i fi c Ocea n, I th i n k . An d t h en ke e p go i n g. T h e exit fo r Towe r Ci ty co m e s to o q u i ckly. I p ull o f f, t h en i n to th e trave l c e n te r p a r ki n g lot. There’s a sp a ce r ig h t i n f ro n t o f th e c afé a n d I d e c i de to ba ck into it so I ca n take s o m e p i c tu re s o f th e c a r. A n old lady wa lk s o ut an d watc h e s m e fo r a m o m e nt. “Like t h at c ar ? ” s h e as ks , th o u gh i t ’s rea lly m ore

co n fir mat i o n t h a n q u e s ti o n . “ Yes,” I say. “ Ye s I d o.” He at h er Pa ut z, G e n e ra l Man age r, m e e ts me i nsi d e the do o r, a ll smi les. S h e kn ow s w hy I a m h e re. We shake h a n ds a n d she i n tro d u c e s m e to a few o t her s b e fo re a ski n g w h ere I ’d li ke to s i t. I c h o o s e a boot h in a cor n er. S h e say s s h e ’ ll j o i n m e i n a few mi nutes. Th ere is a di splay co o le r w i th s eve ra l p i e s up fron t: Pea n ut Bu t te r ; Co co n u t Cre a m ; A p p le ; C a ra m el Apple ; Pum pki n ; Bu tte rs co tc h ; Pe c a n ; Ch e r r y ; Blue ber r y; C h o co late Cre a m ; B an an a Cre a m . I f i nd my se lf sta r i n g. I pi ck a st raw b e r r y r h u b a r b p i e to take h o m e a nd ask a wa i t ress to save i t fo r m e. I d o n’t wa n t i t to disapp ea r. A s er ver n a med B ri ttn ey, h i gh s c h o o l o r colleg e age , b ea mi n g ch eer f u ln e s s , b r i n gs m e co f fe e. She we ars a red t-sh i r t th at s ay s “ Towe r Ci ty Travel C e nte r—A Lit t le S li c e o f He ave n at Exi t 3 07.” The shir t h a s a draw i n g o f a s li c e o f p i e w i th a s coop of ic e crea m o n t h e sid e. Th ere a re eleven o th e r p e o p le s i tti n g i n b oot hs or at tables. A b o o t h o f two m e n . A b o o th o f two wom en. A fami ly. S evera l pe o p le a lo n e. I watc h a s a va r i et y o f c ars a n d t r u cks m ove th ro u gh th e lo t, to and away f ro m t h e g a s an d d i e s e l p u m p s. Pe o p le i n t he co nve n i en ce sto re bu y s n a c ks a n d q u i te a few of t hem loo k over at t h e b a ke r y a n d re s ta u ra n t. Yo u c an see it o n th eir fa ces. “ W h at i s th i s? ” th ey wo n d e r. I wa nt to guide ea ch o f t h e m i n to a c h ai r. Wa i t, I wo u ld say. Taste t h i s. L in g er. I o rder a Fr i sco m e lt an d Fre n c h f r i e s. Co ffee. Brittn ey a sk s m e if I h ave a ny p la n s fo r th e d ay. How do I ex pla in t h at a ll I’m d o i n g i s d r i v i n g a b i t m ore than 100 m iles, o cc a s i o n ally a b i t m o re th a n 10 0 mile s a n h o ur, j ust to co m e to a re m o te tr u c k stop for a piece o f pie? How d o I exp lai n th e n o s talg i a of spe e d a n d t h e j oy o f ta s te ? I ’m a g rey b e a rd to her. Stran g e o ld g uy i n t h e co r n e r b o o th . I wo u ld sound insan e. Per h a ps I a m . Heat h er co m es to j o i n m e , o rd e rs a b ow l o f ho me - m a de kn o eph la s o u p. We ge t to ta lk i n g a bout histor y. S h e tells m e th e p lac e h a s b e e n aro u nd si nce 1960, sh ow s m e a p i c tu re o n th e wa ll o f th e o r i g i na l b uildi n g. “Ab o ut ei gh t ye a r s a go,” s h e s ay s , “ we tore it all d ow n , sta r ted ove r a n d b u i lt th i s fac i li ty.” Th e b ulk o f h er tra f f i c i s f ro m th e i n te rs tate, tho ugh, sh e says, “th e re a re lo c a ls w h o co m e ever y day fo r b rea k fa st , d i n n e r a n d s u p p e r, a f te r n o on co ffe e a n d pi e. I t ’s ki n d o f th e tow n gath e r i n g sp ot.” “ T h e b a ker y h a s b e e n o u r s h i n i n g s ta r,” s he say s. “ Why i s t h at ? ” I a s k . “ W hy i s th e Towe r Ci t y C afé pi e leg en da r y o n th e n o r th e r n p ra i ri e ? ” Som e quest i o n s , I wan t to te l l h e r, a re e s s ent i a l. “ We’ve a lways had fab u lo u s b a ke r s ,” s h e s ay s. “Ove r t h e yea r s, t h ey ’ve a lway s m a d e f ro m - s c ratch pie s—ever sin ce t h ey s ta r te d wo r ki n g h e re. Pe op le

wor k here, a nd t hen t hei r si ster s a nd m ot he rs work here.” “ D o you have to d em onst rate your ski ll to work here?” I a sk . “ D o you need to p a ss a ba ki ng tas te test ?” She la ug hs. “ No. A lot of t he young p eople who wor k here a re just i nterested i n ba ki ng. Ri ght now we have a set of hi g h school ki d s who say ‘Hey I want to lea r n how to d o t hat.’” B r i t t ney d eli ver s my Fr i sco m elt a nd Fre nch f r i es. Whi le t he p lates a nd si lver wa re a re tr uck s top, ca feter i a sta nd a rd , t he ta ste i s subli m e. “ How m a ny p i es d o you g o t hroug h i n a day?” I a sk . “ More t ha n t went y,” she say s. That d oes not i nclud e t he cooki es, ba r s, brea d s, d onut s and whatever else. “ We m a ke t he p i e cr ust s f rom s cratch,” she say s. “ That ’s one of t he key t hi ng s. People can ta ste t he d i f ference.” “A re t here secret s i n t he reci p e?” I a sk . “Or are t hey just t hat g ood ?” “ You know, I t hi nk a lot of i t i s just t he care and t he love t hat g oes i nto i t ,” she say s. “ There a re a few t hi ng s t hat a re p roba bly s e cre ts , but I d on’t even know t hem necessa r i ly. You know, we have a cookbook t hat ha s a ll t he reci p es i n it. The p eop le who a re ba ki ng r i g ht now a re not t he orig inal ones. They a re followi ng t he reci p es, but t hey have found t hat ‘t wo cup s of sour crea m’ d oes not include a nd ‘a p i nch of t hi s.’” “ Exp er i ence i s i t s own secret ,” I of fer. “ Ri g ht ! ” she say s. “ Exa ct ly.” “ Yesterd ay,” she say s, “our ba ker m a d e twe nty loaves of ba na na brea d a nd t hey were g one by 4:00.” “ D oes t he word g o out by satelli te?” I wonde r. “ Telep at hy ? The Em erg ency Ma na g em ent Sys te m?” “ Peop le just sm ell i t when t hey com e in. They s ay ok, I wa nt t hat. They ’re not even cool yet. We have to leave t he ba g s op en.” “ I love i t ,” she say s, “ when custom er s will s ay ‘Oh, I ca m e here wi t h my g ra nd p a rent s,’ or ‘ I came here wi t h my p a rent s 40 yea r s a g o. That ’s why we ca m e here. We ha d to stop for p i e.’” B r i t t ney, a ll sm i les, wa lks up a nd a sks how ever y t hi ng ta stes. We tell her, honest ly, t hat it is all wond er f ul. I a sk Heat her how m a ny d i f ferent p i es s he make s a nd she g oes to g et t he li st. Sour crea m Rais in. Lem on Mer i ng ue. B a na na Crea m . Coconut Cre am. Wa lnut. Pea nut B ut ter. Chocolate. B lueber r y Cre am. French Si lk . St rawber r y Rhuba r b. St rawber r y R hubarb Cr unch. A p p le. Ca r m el A p p le. Cher r y. B lue be r r y. Peca n. P um p ki n. Two or t hree of t hese a re made eve r y d ay. I beg i n to i m a g i ne my self a s a ba ker. All cliché a nd sm a ll cloud s of f lour d ust , t he sm ell of baking p i es f i lli ng my m or ni ng s. Heat her a nd I ta lk a bout a tor na d o t hat came t hroug h town, a bout t he d i f f i cult i es of sta ffing a sm a ll town ca fé, a bout how she ha s a m a ste r ’s de g re e i n soci a l wor k, a bout how t he Travel Cente r is jointly 21

" The Reg u la rs - Nu mber 17" By C arissa Wir tz

own e d by si xteen pe o p le — s h e i s o n e o f th e m — who b e lieve in t h e tow n a n d th i s b u s i n e s s. Brit t n ey co mes by a gai n . “ Eve r y th i n g o kay here? Save any ro o m fo r d e s s e r t? ” “ T h at ’s t h e m a i n re a s o n w hy h e ’s h e re ! ” Heat her say s. I a sk Br it t n ey wh at ty p e o f p i e i s s ti ll avai la ble by the sli ce a n d h er li s t i s to o lo n g, to o te m p ti ng to re me m b er. “ Wh at ’s t h e b est? ” I a s k . “ Well,” sh e say s , “ th e to p s e lle r s a re c a ra m el apple , st raw b er r y r hu b a r b, le m o n m e r i n gu e. A nd , my pe rson a l favo r i tes wo u ld b e le m o n m e ri n gu e , ba na na cre am a n d ca ra m el ap p le.” I tell h er I ’ ll g o fo r c a ra m e l a p p le. “ Wo uld yo u like th at war m e d u p w i th i c e crea m ?” “Go fo r t h e w h o le th i n g,” He ath e r s ay s. “S u re,” I say. W h en Br it t n ey b r i n gs th e p i e o u r co nve rs at i on sto ps. I ta ke a f ir st b i te. It i s eve r y th i n g I h o p ed for. It is wa r m, cr un chy, swe e t, s m o o th . T h e c ara m el apple ta ste i s o u t f ro n t a n d th e c r u n c h —“Oh my g od ,” I say. “ Wh at is t h at ? ” “Oat mea l, b row n s u gar a n d b u tte r,” s h e s ay s. “No,” I say. “I t ’s m o re th a n th at.” I a m b esi de mys e lf. T h e van i lla i c e c re a m i s a pe r fe c t co mplimen t. “ Yo u deser ve you r re p u tati o n ,” I s ay. 22 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

“ Well t ha nk you,” Heat her say s. “ Rya n, who’s been m a ki ng t he p i es tod ay, just sta r ted with us this sum m er. B ut he’s been ba ki ng wi t h hi s m om s ince he wa s a ki d .” When lunch i s over a nd t he p i e f i ni shed, the cof fee g one, t he bi ll p a i d , I f i nd my self comple te ly d i st ra cted . I wa nt to a p p ly for a job. I wa n t to hug ever yone i n t he store. Heat her ha nd s m e a pie ce of p a p er whi ch I fold a nd p ut i nto my p ocket. “ That ’s a secret ,” she say s. I collect my whole p i e a nd a f resh cup of coffe e for t he t ravel mug. I n t he ca r, I ta ke out t he p a p er a nd p res s it f lat a g a i nst t he steer i ng wheel. Tower Travel Center Ca fé 7/21 /18 Sour Crea m Ra i si n P i e Two p i es 2 cup s sour crea m 2 cup s sug a r 6 eg g yolks 2 cup s ra i si ns ½ cup f lour 1 cup m i lk 1 t sp sa lt 1 t bsp va ni lla Cook on stove top unt i l t hi ck a nd crea my Pour i nto ba ked p i e shell Top wi t h m er i ng ue B a ke unt i l Gold en B rown On 325 a p p rox 7 m i n

"Th e Re g ula r s - Nu mb e r 1" B y Car issa Wi r t z

2 :15 p.m. Ba ck i n t h e Mu s tan g, th e d e e p th roated r umble o f t h e exh a us t exc i te s m e a gai n . I h ave a missio n . I h ave a pi e to ge t h o m e ! S p e e d , o f co ur se. But n ow w it h pu r po se , m o ra l u rge n c y, c u li n ar y r i sk . He at h er to ld m e Ro u te 10 , th e ro ad j u s t o n e step n o r th o f t h e I n ter state , i s g rave l all th e way f rom Buffalo to C a sselto n a n d I c a n’t wa i t. I n my Je e p I choo se g ravel ro a ds eve r y ti m e I c a n . A cor n er a n d t h en a b e n d an d th e n a s tra i ghtaway. I’m o n ly do in g 6 0 m p h b u t th i s i s i t. T h i s i s th e dre am. Co un t r y b a ck ro ad s i n a co nve r ti b le o n a sof t , war m su m mer a f ter n oo n . No t a s o u l ah e a d o f m e or b e hin d m e. Wh en I re ac h th e g rave l, a lo n g w h i te t rail o f du st r i ses b ehi n d m e. A n o b s c u re h i s to ri ca l marke r pa sses by t h e ro ad s i d e. S oy b e an s. Co r n . Whe at. S un f lower s. T h e re h as to b e s u n f lowe rs. Sm a ll town c emeter i es. Di la p i d ate d b ar n s. New tra c tor s. The pavemen t ret u r n s at th e tu r n o f f fo r A b s ara ka a nd Whe atla n d.

f i r st a nd t hi rd ba se li nes. Pat r i ot i c red , whi te and blue bunt i ng ha ng s f rom t he concessi on sta nd and d ug out s. The ki d s i n t he d ug out s d o t he chatte r—hey bat ter, hey p i tcher—whi le over hea d t he clou ds both joi n a nd brea k . I watch t he sta r t of one g a m e. Ever y p i tc h is an a ct of hop e. Ever y swi ng a p rayer. I wa nt to linge r a nd cheer for bot h si d es. I t i s not a cont ra d iction to a lso say I feel t he d esi re of a fa st ca r a nd a pie to ge t hom e. Then i t occur s to m e. Thi s, I t hi nk . Just t hi s. Just now. Just t his.

Outs ide Wh eat la n d , by 150 th Ave n u e S o u th e a st , a straig h t , sm o o t h , g o rge o u s s tre tc h o f p ave m e nt te mpts m e to speed agai n . S m all h i lls p ro m i s e the t hrill of li f t. T h e spe e d o m e te r p a s s e s 10 0 a n d I wa nt to fin d t h e pla ce w h e re th e c ar c a n n o t go a ny faster, b ut my co u ra g e i s a rg u i n g w i th my s e n s e o f m o r ta li t y. I back of f t h e g a s. S m i li n g. Pre s e n t i n th e m o m e nt. By th e C a sselto n re s e r vo i r, I co m e u p o n a b a seba ll tour nam en t. Pee-Wee a n d Ro o ki e b as e b all f ro m ce n tral C a ss C o u n t y, th e ye ar- e n d to u r n am e n t, I ’m told . Ni n e to t welve ye ar o ld b oy s. P i c k u p tr u c ks a nd s e dan s lin e b o t h side s o f th e ro ad way. Fo ld i n g c ha i r s ho ld paren t s a n d a unts an d u n c le s a n d co u s i n s by t he 23

"Wa n i n g M o o n" By M ar k Holter 24 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

Manifested Manipulation B y Grac e Da h len The st reet s were d a r k . T h e la m p s c re ate d c ircula r po o ls o n t he g ro u n d ; a s th e yo u n g wom a n strode a lo n g , sh e h o p p e d fro m p u d d le to p u d dle. He r deli cate, i n n o ce n t fe atu re s we re d i s to r te d by shadow s. Her lo n g h ai r tw i s te d i n to go ld e n ri ng let s, that bo u n ced w it h eve r y s te p ; h e r co n s i d e ra b le blue eye s m oved pur po se f u lly a b o u t h e r s u r ro u n d i ng s. Her high h eels sn a pped at th e g ro u n d . Wit h ea ch st r i d e , s h e b e c am e m o re aware of he r sur ro u n din g s. Th e ta ll b u i ld i n gs o f d ow n town lo o med over h er. S to re f ro n ts we re li t glo o m i ly wi t h ne o n s i g n s. T h e r us h o f c a r s h ad lu lle d . He r t houg ht s whirle d t h ro ug h t h e eve n ts o f th e p as t we e k . S he fe lt he r h ea r t skip a b e at w h e n s h e watc h e d the news, w h ere a h a n d s o m e d e te c ti ve p rov i d e d a state men t a b o u t t h e late s t i n a s tri n g o f mu rder s. She re m em b ered h ow h e r eye s w i d e n e d w i th plea sure, and how h er lips ch u r n e d i n to a s ly g r i n , w h i ch she quic kly repla ced w i th a h o r ri fi e d exp re s s i o n . A body had been discovered . A m an , w h o m s h e h a d s e lected we e ks a g o, wa s fo und b lu d ge o n e d to d e ath i n t he park . Ever y t h i n g h a d go n e acco rd i n g to p lan . A s t h at t h o ug h t c ro s s e d h e r m i n d , s h e h e ard a he av y t h ud o f a fa m i li a r fo o ts te p. S h e d u c ke d i nto the ne a r by a lley, a p la c e s h e kn ew h ad n o c am era s. He r b reat h t ig h ten e d , an d s h e p u t o n h e r m a s k . She con tor ted h er fa ce i n to a gh a s tly s h a p e an d forced up te ars. Ju st a s t h e f i rs t te a r s ro lle d d ow n h e r cheeks, a tall, well-b ui lt ma n j o i n e d h e r i n th e alley. He r ushe d to h er a n d h e ld h e r. A s m i rk q u i c kly f la shed on the wo ma n’s fa c e. A s h e p u lle d away, s h e s ni f fed and st if led a f ra udu le n t s o b. S h e glan c e d u p at hi m and put o n h er m o s t i n n o c e n t fac e , w i d e n i n g her eye s, sh r u g g in g h er li p s i n to a s o ft s m i le. He looked d own at h er w it h love a n d a d m i rati o n . “Lucy, a re yo u alri gh t? ” h e as ke d w i th a voi ce d rippi n g w it h devo t i o n . “I ’m a lr i g h t ,” Lu c y s ai d . “ I’m glad i t ’s all over now. Th at h e ca n’t h u r t m e any m o re.” “I ’m g la d fo r t hat to o. How lo n g c a n I b e wi t h yo u? ” “No t a s lo n g a s I ’d li ke I ’m af ra i d ,” s h e li ed . “M o th er wa n ted m e to atte n d an o th e r o n e o f her func tio n s to n ig h t.” Th e m en t io n o f h e r m o th e r c a u s e d th e yo u ng m a n to c le n ch h is f ist s an d j aw. H i s eye s f la s h e d ang er. Luc y slid h er lo n g , love ly fi n ge r s th ro u gh h i s ha i r.

He i nsta nt ly sof tened at her touch. He sm ile d in utte r bli ss. “ Da r li ng , I know t hi s i sn’t what we wa nt , but the re ’s not hi ng I ca n d o,” her voi ce ca ressed . “ Mothe r will never let us be tog et her, you know t hi s. You know I ’m only ha p py when I ’m wi t h you.” He sm i led , a nd t hen a s t houg h som et hing jus t occur red to hi m , hi s sm i le fa d ed . Hi s fa ce tur ne d ster n a nd qui zzi ca l. “A nd why i s i t t hat we can’t jus t be r i d of your m ot her, so we ca n be tog et h e r?” “ You know t hat would br i ng a ll t he heat onto m e, a s a benefa ctor of t he estate. The p oli c e would susp ect m e. I f I g et a r rested , we would neve r be tog et her a g a i n.” At t hi s, she beg a n to weep. Through t he sobs she squea ked out , “A nd t hat would be too much to bea r, I could n’t li ve wi t hout you.” Hi s fa ce sof tened , t he way i t a lway s d i d. He wra p p ed hi s a r m s a round her a nd ki ssed her he ad g ent ly. “ No one i s g oi ng to ta ke you away from me , Lucy Lu. You a re m i ne! ” She li f ted her fa ce to his , ki ssi ng hi m t hroug h her sa lt y tea r s. A s t he ir face s p a r ted , Lucy a g a i n p a i nted on her m ost i nnoce nt fa ce; she t r i ed to m i m i c hi s look of a d orat ion. “ I should g o,” she sa i d . “ I t ’s g et t i ng late , a nd I have a f unct i on to p rep a re for. I ’ ll be in touch, a s soon a s I ca n. Good ni g ht , my d arling.” She ki ssed hi m one la st t i m e, t hen st rod e out of the a lley way, hea d held hi g h. A s she t ur ned t he cor ne r, a sm i r k crossed her fa ce. Her blue eyes shone with vi ci ous d eli g ht. She wa s a m a zed at how blindly Jeremy Hop ki ns d i d a s she bi d hi m to. He love d he r a bove a ll else. He i d oli zed her a nd of ten p re fe r re d to have her t hi nk for hi m . He wa s a st up i d fe llow, ea sy to m a ssa g e i d ea s i nto. I t wa s ea sy enough to convi nce hi m to ki ll A rchi e, but she could neve r have p red i cted how ea sy i t wa s to convi nce hi m to do away wi t h t he ot her s. Yes, Jeremy Hop ki ns would d o a s she wis he d. He wa s li ke a d og , of som e use but could be e as ily sa cr i f i ced . She whi st led a nd ha i led a ta xi . Afte r br i ef ly d i scussi ng t he locat i on she wi shed to be d rop p ed of f at , she ret ur ned to her t houg hts. S he was broug ht ba ck to t he m em or y of t he f i r st t i me s he me t Hop ki ns. 25

I t wa s a sunny d ay i n t he p a r k . He wa s si t t i ng on a bench a lone; Hop ki ns wa s a lway s a lone. Lucy wa s jog g i ng li ke she d i d ever y d ay. She ha d seen him so m a ny t i m es before, but t hi s wa s t he f i r st t i m e she’d seen hi s p otent i a l, a long i ng wi t hi n hi m . He r sof t , g ent le sm i le a nd a r t i f i ci a l i nsecur i t y ea si ly had won hi m over. He wa nted to be not i ced ; he d esi red at tent i on. The p er son who would g i ve hi m t hi s would have cont rol, com p lete cont rol. She ha d not m i sjud g ed hi m ; she sm i led , a s she rem em bered . The ca b p ulled up i n f ront of her bui ld i ng. She step p ed out , sm i li ng to see how t he ca b d r i ver ’s sensua l g a ze li ng ered on her. Men were so ea sy to m a ni p ulate. She p ut on her m ost i nnocent fa ce. “ Tha nks for t he r i d e.” “ My p lea sure, g org eous,” he rep li ed , looki ng he r up a nd d own yet a g a i n. “ How much d o I owe you?” she sa i d , hold i ng back a sm i r k . “ Not hi ng , just use my ca b a g a i n som et i m e.” “ Sure, I ca n d o t hat. That i s just so ki nd of you.” She g i g g led . He sm i led a p p reci at i vely.

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Hurry! Offer expires 6/15/20. One coupon per person per visit per day. Not to be combined with other offers. No cash value. Redeemable in person only. 2318

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Then she sla m m ed t he ca b d oor a nd t ur ned toward her a p a r t m ent. A s she hea d ed i nsi d e, Lucy sm i led sweet ly at t he d oor m a n. The lobby wa s br i g ht ly lit; her hi g h heels cli cked a g a i nst t he m a r ble f loor s. Her a p a r t m ent wa s one of t he ni cest i n t he ci t y. He r p ent house seem ed to tower a bove ever y t hi ng. She hea d ed st ra i g ht for t he elevator, t ur ni ng t he hea d of ever y m a n i n t he lobby. The d oor s op ened a s she rea ched t he li f t ; she cli m bed i n a lone a nd hi t t he but ton for t he p ent house. The sm oot h ja zz f i lled t he elevator. She rela xed; t hi s wa s t he one m om ent of her d ay she could ta ke a d eep breat h. She savored t he second s. Lucy d i d n’t have to wor r y what ot her s t houg ht of her here, i n t hi s m om ent. She d i d n’t have to rea d fa ces a nd shift her tone or way of sp ea ki ng. She d i d not have to cont rol her p ercep t i on a nd rea d t he p eop le a round her. She could just be her. She of ten wond ered what i t would be li ke to be nor m a l. Her li fe would be si m p ler i f she wa sn’t so ca lculat i ng a nd could m a ni p ulate p eop le t he way she could . B ut si m p ler wa s bor i ng. I t wa s ter r i bly bor i ng. So, a s she lef t t he elevator, she resolved , a s she ha d so m a ny t i me s before, to never cha ng e. To never becom e si m p le and bor i ng but to subt ly m a ni fest m a ni p ulat i on.

Days Of The Week By S cotti e Knol l i n There’s a sea g ull out si d e my wi nd ow. Mocking m e? Rem i nd i ng m e what i t wa s li ke to li ve without bound a r i es? I feel a s m a d a s t he t wo way ward sea m en i n The Li g ht house. I a m bot h t he innoce nt a nd rava g ed young buck d i st ra cted by t he hope of sur vi va l a nd t he cra zed old m a n li vi ng without i nhi bi t i ons, belchi ng bet ween swi g s of li q uor. My ni g ht m a res a ren’t a s ha r rowi ng , a nd I ca n’t re me mbe r i f t hey ’re i n techni color or not. The d ay s have g rown tog et her, but I ’m st i ll ver y awa re of t hei r indiv idual p er sona li t i es. Mond ay s a re for cha ng i ng my routine f rom hour s on t he couch to hour s i n a chair that d oesn’t qui te f i t my ba ck just r i g ht. Tuesdays a re for rem em ber i ng t he i m p or ta nce of a good brea kfa st m a d e wi t h t he bount y of li m i ted re s ource s. Wed nesd ay s a re for a necd otes wi t h cohor ts about our sha red exp er i ences d ur i ng t hi s t i m e. We laugh as we p retend to m a na g e t he i nsa ni t y of i solat i on and the cuteness of p et s a nd ki d s a nd our selves. Thurs days a re for a nt i ci p at i ng t he weekend , si lent ly ce le brating t hat a si ng le d ay sep a rates m e f rom a couple days of m i nd less a ct i vi t y wi t hi n t hese sa m e four walls. Fr i d ay s a re for wrest li ng wi t h t he conseq ue nce s of mult i p le d ay s of p rocra st i nat i on, com ple ting wor k a ssi g nm ent s I p retend ed to d o t hroughout the week . Sat urd ay s a re for sleep i ng i n, except for the ea r ly m or ni ng wa lks a round t he block wi th Nor man. D og s d o not seem to und er sta nd t he conc e pt of a weekend . A nd , Sund ay s a re for reli vi ng t he dre ad of t he m onotony i n t he d ay s a hea d . Even st ill, it ’s wild t hat we’re collect i vely a p p roa chi ng t he end of our second m ont h of li m i tat i ons i n t he na m e of s afe ty a nd hea lt h.

"The Pre s e n t i s Te mp orar y " B y K a r y Ja nou s ek Hig h Hat Por t rai t u re

The sm ell of bur nt p a nca kes brea ks my focus on t hat bi rd . Our eyes locked i n on ea ch othe r. The way i t cocks i t s hea d seem s a s i f t hey ’re aware of what I ’m d oi ng. D i ng. D i ng. D i ng. I t ’s Tue s day and I ’m p retend i ng to not hea r t he consta nt ring of new m essa g es i n my i nbox on t he com p uter t hat s its atop t he d esk t hat I ord ered i n a p a ni c to be ade quate ly equi p p ed for wor ki ng f rom hom e. My i ced coffe e has m elted . The sweat on t he g la ss wi ll leave a pe r mane nt r i ng on t he wood en d esktop, a p er m a nent re minde r of t hi s t i m e. I use my g rey fa cem a sk to quickly wipe t he cond ensat i on t hen consi d er whet her I s hould wa sh t he fa cem a sk before I wea r i t to g rab lunch at t he ta co shop d own t he st reet. I ’m a n evange lis t for soci a l d i sta nci ng a nd p ra ct i ci ng ext reme ly s afe hyg i ene d ur i ng t hi s t i m e. B ut I hate how the mas k fog s up my g la sses. The bi rd squawks. I tur n on the vent a bove t he stove to help rem ove t he s te nch. 27

W h o k n ew sea g u lls we re a cc u s to m e d to th e M id west ? Wh ere i s th i s b i rd go i n g? W h e re h ave t hey been? I ta ke b ites o f my b re a kfas t, h o p i n g th e h oney a nd b utte r a n d b lu eb er r i e s w i ll cove r th e tas te o f cha r. I thin k a b o ut h ow e as y li fe was w h e n th e re were no b o un da r i es. I g et los t i n m e lan c h o ly re m e m b e r i ng n ights spen t dr in k i n g o n e to o m any co c ktai ls or we e ken ds spen t h o p p i n g f ro m o n e b a r to th e next down Bro a dway. S pr i n g i s u p o n u s , b u t th e re ’s st i ll co ld in t h e a i r a n d s m a ll p i le s o f s n ow ye t to m elt. I pine fo r su mm er t i m e a n d f re e d o m th e way T herese an d C a ro l lo n g ed fo r e ac h o th e r. I’m a v i c ti m to n o stalg i a t h e way E li o s tare d at th at f i re i n that fire pla ce, h ea r t b ro ke n ove r lo s i n g Oli ve r, b u t content with, at lea st , h avin g th e m e m o r i e s. I i m ag i n e my fe e lings a b o ut t h e wa r m th o f th e s u n s h i n e are t he same a s t h e Tra mp’s fo r th e b li n d f lowe r g i rl. Sm i t ten an d sin cere a n d un c e r tai n . I was m e an t to travel next mo n th a n d t h e o n e af te r a n d th e o n e a f te r th at. Los An ge le s a n d Aust in an d Atla n ta w i ll h ave to wa i t. My n ew a dven t u res i n c lu d e g ro c e r y s h o p p i n g, a li t t le ho liday away f ro m th i s b ox o n Ro b e r ts a n d S econd . I’ve spen t my f re e ti m e watc h i n g m ov i e s. I che cke d t h at Lyn ch f i lm o ff my li s t. I ’ve b e e n me anin g to watch i t fo r ye ar s. I t wa s n’t s o mu ch disturb in g b eca use o f i ts co n te n t, b u t m o re s o i n how I re lated so clo sely to i ts m ai n c h ara c te r. T h e La dy i n the Radiato r ’s so n g h as ye t to le ave my b ra i n . To n ig h t , I mi g h t watc h th e g re ate s t fi lm ever made. I mi ss h o m e, w h ateve r th at wo rd m e an s. I s it he re, i n t h is ro o m , w i th th i s b re a kfas t an d t hi s do g an d t h e so un d o f th e n ew s a ll d ay lo n g? Is i t at wo rk, w i t h t h e cu b i c le s an d th e w h i te n o i s e a nd t he sme lls o f po pco r n or s o m e o n e ’s lu n c h ? I s i t b a ck on the co a st w h ere t h is s e agu ll b e lo n gs? Is i t w i th my family, i n my h o m etow n , h o u rs a n d m i le s away? I ’ve aske d t h ese quest i o n s b e fo re. I m ay n eve r s to p a ski ng the se quest i o n s.

" Iden t it y Cr i sis"

My b ur n t pa n ca ke s are co ld . B u t th ey s ti ll ta ste alright.

By Stre e t D ire ctor

28 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

The Classroom By Jamee L ar s on St ud ent s ha d quest i ons. I d i d n’t have a nswe rs. Nobody ha d a nswer s. My st ud ent s a nd I had be e n followi ng t he Coronavi r us for weeks; m ost looking at t he p a nd em i c t hroug h t he a ll-too-com m on le ns of “it won’t ha p p en here.” How could t hey t hi nk any thing else when i nd i f ference wa s f ront a nd cente r all ove r t he m ed i a? “ Looks li ke by A p r i l, you know, in the or y, when i t g et s a li t t le wa r m er, i t m i ra culous ly goe s away,” Presi d ent Tr um p a ssured t he count r y amid g rowi ng concer ns. “ I t ’s g oi ng to d i sa p p ea r. One day, i t ’s li ke a m i ra cle, i t wi ll d i sa p p ea r.” Ma ny of my st ud ent s beli eved hi m . I t r y to keep p oli t i cs out of my cla sses, but als o wa nt to help st ud ent s navi g ate t he wor ld around t hem . We ta lk a bout cur rent event s once a we e k, but t he news of ten bleed s i nto our nor m a l d i scus s ions. I br i ng up bot h si d es of a n i ssue, hop i ng t hat maybe , just m ay be, t he next g enerat i on ca n wor k toge the r bet ter t ha n we have. The Coronavi r us d oesn’t care if you a re a D em ocrat or a Rep ubli ca n. These s tude nts d i d n’t ca re ei t her. They wa nted a nswer s. My 8:0 0 a .m . cla ss p ep p ered m e wi t h que s tions before I could beg i n my lect ure. They were d i st ra cted , conf used , a nd wor r i ed . “ D i d you know t hat one m i lli on p eop le a re p roba bly g oi ng to die … i n t he U.S. a lone?” “ I hea rd t hat t he vi r us can trave l t hroug h a i r d uct s.” “ My d a d sa i d t hat a ll t he rich p eop le a re g oi ng to li ve i n a bi g va ult und e rg round.” We ha d st ud i ed fa ke news at t he beg i nni ng of the sem ester, but t hat d i d n’t m ea n t hey could active ly d i f ferent i ate fa ct f rom f i ct i on. Ever yone was st r ug g li ng. Tr ust t he g over nm ent ? The m a jor news stat i ons? Celebr i t i es? I t wa s no wond er t hat s tude nts were havi ng t rouble. “ D o you t hi nk we wi ll m ove onli ne?” The st ud ent ’s voi ce qui vered a bi t a s she a sked. “I am ta ki ng 21 cred i t s. I ca n’t d o t hat onli ne. I ’m not g oi ng to be a ble to f i ni sh.” The st ud ent s star te d t r y i ng to ta lk over ea ch ot her. For a n 8:0 0 a. m. clas s , t hey were unusua lly a ni m ated . “ I ’m sure t hat p ossi bi li t y ha s been d i sc us s e d, but I haven’t hea rd a ny t hi ng d ef i ni t i ve,” I sa i d, paus ing to g et ever yone’s at tent i on. “ I f t hat d oes happe n, I a ssure you t hat we wi ll g et t hroug h i t.” I trie d to sound com for t i ng. I ’m not sure I d i d . My second cla ss of t he d ay sta r ted out in much t he sa m e m a nner. Quest i ons. Fea r. Rumors. Mi si nfor m at i on. The st ress level of t he st u de nts was i ncrea si ng. I could see i t on t hei r fa ces. I trie d to d i rect t he d i scussi on to som et hi ng cla ss relate d, but wa s st r ug g li ng to hold t hei r at tent i on. We we re le s s 29

t ha n 20 m i nutes i n when I hea rd a p hone p i ng. “It ’s ha p p eni ng ,” B r yce shouted . “ We a re m ovi ng online.” The st ud ent s sta red at m e i n eer i e si lence. I stare d ba ck . “ Da m n. Thi s shi t just g ot rea l,” I over he ard f rom t he ha llway. Yes. I t. D i d .

Proudly keeping grocery, medical, and public utilities running for our community during this difficult time. 1-800-433-1665

Locations in Fargo, Bismarck and Minot, ND

Supporting ND and surrounding areas since 1974

Fi ve weeks later, we have a ll a d justed ( to some d eg ree) to our new nor m a l. I ’ve a sked my st ude nts to wr i te p er sona l essay s a bout t hei r exp er i ences during t hi s t i m e, p a r t i cula r ly what t hey have lea r ned about soci et y or t hem selves. I d on’t t hi nk a nyone can go t hroug h a cr i si s li ke t hi s a nd not be t ra nsfor me d. There i s a g rowi ng sense of a ccom p li shm ent i n my st ud ent s. We a re wor ki ng tog et her a nd we will a ccom p li sh our g oa ls. Wa s t he lea r ni ng d i f fere nt? Of cour se. Wa s i t bet ter ? Wor se? That I d on’t know. Per sona lly, I ’ve rea li zed t hat i t i s t he i nteractions wi t h st ud ent s t hat m ot i vate m e to be a n ed ucator. I t i s not si m p ly t he t ra nsm i t ta l of i nfor m at i on; it ’s watchi ng st ud ent s recei ve i t. I have d one t he be s t I could to m ove our fa ce-to-fa ce cla sses onli ne. S ome were ea si er to t ra nsfer t ha n ot her s, but t he stude nts were la rg ely t he sa m e reg a rd less. They wa nted to hea r t hat i t would a ll be a lr i g ht , t hat t he Coronav ir us would be a m ere bli p on t hei r ot her wi se br i g h t f ut ures. They wa nted to feel sa fe a g a i n, to look at t he wor ld wi t h t he una d ulterated op t i m i sm t h ey had at t he sta r t of t he sem ester. They wa nted to hold on to t hei r p re-vi r us i nnocence just a li t t le long e r. Eve n t houg h t hey knew i t wa s g one forever. How wi ll soci et y em erg e f rom t hi s p a nd em ic? What wi ll i t ta ke to m ove on? Som e of us have to fa ce t he hea r t brea k of losi ng a loved one. Ot he rs are sta r i ng at lost busi nesses or unem p loy m ent. Eve r yone ha s lost a way of li fe. I a m one of t he for t unate one s , however. A s I wr i te t hi s, my fa m i ly i s hea lt hy. We d i d n’t lose our jobs a nd st i ll have our hom es. I am p rofound ly g ratef ul. We wi ll a ll g et t hroug h t his and when I com e out t he ot her si d e, I wi ll be ret ur ning to t he cla ssroom . Where I belong.

"C lea n ...Yo u B e tch a" By Fa rg o Spac em an

"Safe ty M a n u al" By B re tt Lys n e

32 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

I’ll Read Poems by the Pomegranates B y E m i ly V If I d esigned g rocer y stores, I would sell books of poems next to the wine, the seltzer, and in the chocolate aisle. Tabloids would live near the recycle bins in the back dock, and newspapers would not hide stuck behind the rent-a-vac counter. Sylvia Plath would manage the f loral depar tment clipping tulip stems and filling bir thday balloons while wearing a half-smile and a stoic gaze. Customers would pick their own apples from the produce orchard, Rilke looking on, shaking his head at each poor decision made by men choosing parsnips, not radishes, tur nips, or yams. In the dollar aisle, instead of gum, one could buy poetr y prompts. Out in the alcove, Emily Dickinson clutches her umbrella and clacks her finger nails on the windowsill, waiting for a taxi. I wonder what Bukowski ponders as he stocks the paper goods in aisle nine while assistant manager Ginsburg wanders the gluten-free aisle still searching for Whitman. On the back of the receipt, instead of coupons for fabric softener and car oil changes, a haiku –

Sleep By Grace Dahl en Streams f low through the subconscious Trees bend under neath a breeze of thought Rivers swirl and twist in my dreams Sleep is impossible For the river rages and surges With no sign of calming It bends, cutting through the mountain As though cutting through my soul Yes, sleep is impossible For as that river f lows It car ries the problems The pain From all the places and people I’ve known before There is no escaping that cursed river No escape from the r ushing waves of memories No sleep 33

Morning, Midday, Night B y Sa m C aton MORNING When the mor ning comes, I open my eyes. That ’s the first thing I do. And then I see. That soft hear ts are what heal And that quiet minds are what bring To life the garden g reen of everlasting clarity And that there is beauty in str ug gle, As there is beauty in peace, Because beauty has never died.

NIGHT Tooth and nail. Tooth and nail as I go down. Death stirs no fear in me. I have seen this valley before. Beware, oh my shadow. Beware, and stay in your place. The leviathan will make Heaven out of Hell, And fall to the g round, gasping for air.

MIDDAY Let your brain go. It ’s not yours, any way. Instead, Talk to your gut. He’s always been more honest any way, Resting quietly Upon lashes of feathered companions Ready for the oncoming deluge, The stor m immaculate, With songs that Only birds can sing.

"Painted La dy" By Brandi Malarkey 35

"The Aeron a uts" By Mitc hel Hoffar t 36 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

One Hundred Breaths for the Living and the Dead: A Pandemic Litany By Thom Tammaro breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath

of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of

water air ear th fire sky 10,000 gods 10,000 goddesses Krishna Buddha Vishnu Shiva Par vati Yahweh Wakan Tanka Jesus Atete Akal Murat Elohim Allah Ra Anjea Mami Wata Tao makers destroyers no gods all gods dawn mor ning after noon dusk night time eter nity

breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath breath

of of of of of of of of of of of of of or of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of

space emptiness stars moons sun galaxies cosmos salt jasmine forsy thia anemone lavender hyacinth coral elderber r y honeysuckle honeybees butter f lies ravens mountains glaciers seas rivers oceans geodes light dark shadows sadness happiness something nothing apocalypse creation

of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of

angels mothers fathers brothers sisters horses hummingbirds saints sinners frost snow hail rain tears locusts g ravestones mour ning doves wine wolves tongues August heaven hell memor y forgetting forg iveness lovers alpha omega dhar ma trees leaves

:breathe.

Our Fair Fargo

bleeding artichokes

B y An d rew Reed

By Jaeda Engb erg

If you view the faĂ§ade on the far side of that building, Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; ll see a feudal view of our fair Fargo. Whet her business school or barber college, Hipsters with their tone-ar ms war ped and warbling,

rip back the skin let the soft insides soak in melted butter per meated by crisp edges & a raw ear thy scent / let them bleed & ooze in your mouth let the leaves cr umble on the plate as trails of your messy attempts at sacrifice are painted on the sur faces / let me know that there is more beneath the ear th than dir t / tell me that i am like the buds

The f leeting mural outside of memor y, Cracks and fades away, To, perhaps, Be painted over again, One day. And in due time what we leave behind, Will move to the peripher y too, To be respected, To be renewed, To remind us, Of our fair Fargo too.

tell me that i will

b l o o m

" Fre s h Spr ing Soil" By Zoe Dirks 38 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

highways away from home By Dan e l le An d erson april 19th, 2020: in a ditch off the road, right before the sun star ted slipping from blue into gold this is it, iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sick of it: highways whipping under my tires and light pooling into my palms and steering wheels sending me all the places except home this is me, just skin and bones and veins like tree-branches during spring, just falling into ditches and feeling my skin mor ph into prairies and plains, into the shoulders and ar ms off dir t-roads, into fields that tur n my hair into stalks of g rass i always find myself here, lying in fi elds f lipped upside down and getting lost in the sky as strings of geese sew my skin closed, their cries and coos teaching my palms to stretch for horizons always slightly beyond my reach

The Soldier By Ke n n eth An d ersen I I I I

am not crazy am not insane am not dangerous will not har m you

I am not comfor table in crowds. I have few friends. I have strange behaviors. I I I I

have seen the hor rors of war. have heard the cries. can smell the air. can see the blood.

I I I I

did did did did

not not not not

I Met Love By Tabb i tha Erceg

I met love in a park . It sat away from all the people, Humming quietly to its-self. I asked if I could sit beside it And it lent me its hand. In the politest way possible I asked love why it had left me, W hat did I do wrong? I spoke in a whisper. I gave ever ything I had, W hy wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it enough? Love laughed quietly And said it had never met me. I told love it was lying, for I knew it well. He spoke your name! I shouted I spoke your name! Sympathy poured from loves smile And it insisted it had not been there. I cried and said I did not understand. Love lifted my face to meet its own and said, W hen I am there, You will g ive ever ything And I Will take nothing.

go to Canada. change my name. bur n my draft card. receive amnesty.

I live quietly within my own mind. A frozen mind. I live with broken dreams. I am a war rior. 39

spotlight.

Celebrates... Its 10-Year Anniversary! elieve it or not, we are celebrating our 10th anniversary at Spotlight this year. Meaning, that there has been 10 years of community support in the form of our various magazines. What began as a small periodical with a typo on the cover has become the go-to source for all things Fargo-Moorhead-West Fargo. While we cannot cover all of the amazing memories 10 years has brought us, we tried to narrow down a few of our favorites.

40 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

• I I T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S R C O A • E I I T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S R C O A • E I I A T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • E I I A T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A T E D D R N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D R N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D N E ER V U I I T M • T S C A • IO I A E D D R E V U I I TE T M • T S C A • IO I A E D D R E V U I TE T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I T T M • T S N C O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I T T M T S C IN O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I T M S I N T R AC T A • IO I E D D E E V U I T T M T S I • IO • I N E R AC D E D E V U I M T T T S N O C I I • A • D D E R E U E V T I M T S T N O • C I I A • E D D R E V U A I E T M T T S C N O • I I A • E D R E E V U I IA T T M T S N C I O • I A • ER VE UD IA Spotlight founder Mike Dragosavich poses with one of the very first editions of FM Spotlight. This would later become Fargo Monthly.

One of our more over-the-top photo shoots. We did make-up and wardrobe for 32 Below for this shot. J. Alan Paul Photography

The design wall in our first office in Downtown Fargo.

• I I T E D D N E V U I T A M • TI S R O A • E I I T E D D N E V U I I T M • S R CT O A • E I I T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S R C O A • E I I T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S C A • E IO I A T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A T E D D R N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I T E D D RA N E V U I I T M • T S C A • IO I A E D D R N E E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D R N E V U I I TE T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D E U TER CTIV T M • S O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I T T M • T S N C O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I T T M T S N C A • IO I A E D D R E E V U I T T M T S A C IN I O • I A D E D R E E V U I M T T T S N O A C I I I • A • D D E R E U E V T I M T S T N O • C I I A • E D D R E V U I E T M T T S C N O • I I A • E D D R E E V U A I T T M T S N C I O • I A • E D R A E E V U Finding themselves in an issue of FM Spotlight.

Another famous band shoot this time with Tripwire. J. Alan Paul Photography

Former editorial director Andrew Jason poses with a burger at our annual Burgerfest. Hillary Ehlen

42 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

I I T M • T S O A • E I I AC T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I T E D D RA N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I T E D D RA N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D N E ER V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D R N E E V U I I T T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I I T T M • T S C A • IO I A E D D R E E V U I T T M • T S N C O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I T T M T S N C O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I T T M T S C IN O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I T T M T S N O C I I A • I A • D E D R U E E V T I T M S T N O • C I I I A • D E D R U V E I E T T T M S C O • IN I A • E D D R V E E U A I T T M T S N C I O • I A • E R D A E E V U I T T M T S IN C O • I • A E D R E E V U IA I T T M T S N C I O • I A • E D R A E V U I I T T M D T S N C I O • I A • E D R A E V U I I T T M D T S E C IN One of the very first issues of FM Spotlight, which was then a much smaller version of the magazine you're holding now.

Pounds owner Alan Kasin for our "Risk Takers" issue of Fargo Monthly in 2015. J. Alan Paul Photography

Drekker and Toasted Frog meet for our beer dinners issue. Hillary Ehlen

2020 marked the second year where we celebrated Giving Hearts Day with a non-profit issue. Hillary Ehlen

Three-legged Roo posing for last summer's pets issue. Hillary Ehlen

44 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

N E V U I I T M • S R CT O A • E I I T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S R C O A • E I I A T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • E I I A T E D D N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A T E D D R N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D R N E V U I I T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D N E ER V U I I T M • T S C A • IO I A E D D R E V U I I TE T M • T S C A • IO I A E D D R E V U I TE T M • T S C O A • I I A E D D R E E V U I T T M • T S N O C I A • I A D E D R U E E V T I T M S T O • C IN A I I A E D D R V U E I E T M S O • I N T R AC T A I I E D D E V U E I T T T M N S C • I IO • I A D E D R E E V U I T T M T S N C I • IO A • D D E R E U E V I T T M T S N C I O • I A • E D D R A E V U E I T T M T S N C I O • I A • E D R E E V U IA I T T M T S N C I O • I A • E D R A E V U I I T T M D T Octavio giving his best scowl for our food truck issue in 2018. Hillary Ehlen

Rhombus Guys slice for our first annual Flavor Awards in 2016. Paul Flessland

From one of our very first Mixologist of the Month segments in September 2014. J. Alan Paul Photography

Fargo-Moorhead CVB President and CEO Charley Johnson has some fun with the famous woodchipper from the movie Fargo. J. Alan Paul Photography

Need to step outside to escape your quarantine? Enjoy these local parks as the weather warms up.

By Kayleigh Omang Photos By Kayleigh Omang

Located in South Fargo, Lindenwood Park is Fargo’s largest park. Whether you’re in for a walk or run, the miles of paths through Lindenwood can help you train for your upcoming race. For the kiddos learning from home, Lindenwood Park has a variety of tree species. Take the kids for a walk and learn about the different types of trees native to our region, including the Weeping Willow. Check the Fargo Parks District website for a full Lindenwood Park tree tour and map guide. When the river isn’t at peak height, the bridge comes down for a quick shortcut into Moorhead’s Gooseberry Park. While useful to many, the bridge has become a famous spot for photoshoots.

46 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

Looking for more than a brisk walk or run? The park also offers bike and kayak rentals for those more adventurous park goers. Styles of bikes range from a family chariot to a tri-tandem.

Fargoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest park is conveniently located downtown, with a starting point at the head of Broadway. Island Park has a mecca of uses for all ages.

During the warm summer months, the Island Park pool is busy with kids splashing and jumping off the high dive. On an average summer day, the park can be filled with hammocks, balancing acrobats, fitness gurus and brisk strollers.

The most famous Island Park landmark is the gazebo in the center of the park. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s available for event rental, including weddings.

The most wooded park in Fargo-Moorhead is for the dogs. M.B. Johnson Park in North Moorhead has a couple of areas for park-goers. Upon pulling in, a vast landscape is often dotted with dogs running after balls or chasing frisbees. Back further is a wooded area with trails along the river. M.B. Johnson Park is mountain bike-friendly. There are numerous trails through the woods with obstacles for experienced riders.

48 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

The trails through the woods are also perfect for dog walkers looking to give their dog a little more than the average park smells. The newly added path around the park is great for runners or a walk when you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to get your shoes (and paws) dirty.

Bring out your inner athlete when going to Rendezvous Park. The West Fargo park district included an array of sports venues when they built this public area. Bring your own ball and play a game of sand volleyball, basketball, softball, baseball or soccer. There are also two disc golf courses and a skate park available for public use. Rendezvous Park is also a great place for small gatherings (once social distancing is over). There are three shelters available for rental, as well as a spot for weddings in front of the parkâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s picturesque waterfall.

EAT & DRINK Takeout Edition!

Beef brisket plate

It is hard to beat the classic comfort of BBQ. Jay’s Smokin’ BBQ’s smoked beef brisket is served up with none other than a side of homemade coleslaw and mac and cheese. We think this is a portion of perfect comfort food for an incoming summer day. Jay’s Smokin’ BBQ

420 Center Ave. #11, Moorhead facebook.com/jaysbbqmhd

Hillary Ehlen, J. Alan Paul Photography and Paul Flessland

Looking to enjoy some local favorites while stuck at home? Get out of the house and pick up these dishes around town or have them delivered to your door. Please see the establishment website for specific details regarding their takeout and delivery policies.

Mo-Mo

A classic Nepali appetizer that is perfect for seasoned veterans of the cuisine. However, Mo-Mo is also a great way to introduce Nepali food to those who have never tried it. Simple, steamed dumplings, filled with beef, vegetables and spices. Who can go wrong? Everest Tikka House

420 Center Ave, Moorhead everesttikkahouse.com

Hand-Made Pizza Rolls

We all have had the classic pizza roll out of the oven from the freezer. Not to ruin anyone's childhood (or adulthood), the pizza rolls at Herd and Horns are on a different level of flavor. Homemade with Italian sausage, pepperoni, marinara and mozzarella are all rolled into an egg roll. Consider this a perfect snack before your family-sized meal from Herd and Horns. Herd And Horns

1414 12th Ave N F, Fargo herdandhorns.com

Traditional Bagel Plate

Is there anything more satisfying than a perfectly baked bagel accompanied by cream cheese and all the fixings to make a dynamite meal at any time of the day? Luckily, BernBaum's continues to offer our community that very privilege. Make sure to try the classic bagel plates, but do not be afraid to branch out and try one of BernBaum's incredible hot sandwiches too. BernBaum's

402 Broadway N, Fargo bernbaums.com

BÚN CHẢ

GIÒ THỊT

NƯỚNG

Don't let the big name threaten you, folks. At Pho D'Licious, you can simply refer to this dish as "E1" and they'll know what you mean. Beginning with vermicelli noodles, this plate also offers grilled pork, herbs, pickled carrots and some of the best eggrolls you'll ever have. Pho D'Licious

623 NP Ave, Fargo facebook.com/phofargo

MEET THE

Snark & Sentiment

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By Ashley Morken, Unglued Photos Provided By Snark & Sentiment

think right now we are all generally feeling ALL the feelings with a big dose of snarkiness. This makes for a good pairing with this month’s Meet the Maker - Ali of Snark & Sentiment. We have loved watching Ali’s work grow over the past year and some from the ways she highlights the Midwest and Fargo life. In turn, she is reminding us to not let the bastards grind us down! From her uff da pennant sticker and “Fargo is My Happy Place” banner to her “Well Read ‘til I’m Dead” book tote she’s highlighting a lot of our favorites in life through design.

Tell us a bit about yourself: My Name is Ali Belfiore, I have lived in Fargo for eight years and I am a part-time beer slinger at Drekker Brewing Company. When Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not making stickers or serving craft beer, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m usually hanging out with my cat Luca, reading a book or going for walks. Describe what you create under Snark & Sentiment? I illustrate custom designs and put them on stickers, pins, tote bags, mugs and banners (so far). Where did your Snark & Sentiment name come from? I really wanted my brand to be an embodiment of my personality. I can be an incredibly sensitive person, but most of my friends have always called me sassy. Snark & Sentiment felt like the perfect name to highlight that. Favorite product you currently make? Stickers! I really love the Midwest themed ones that I started making this last year.

What is your favorite thing about having your own creative business? I love having a platform to utilize my creativity and illustrate artwork that so many can relate to and enjoy. That connection I get to make with others through my work is the best feeling. What is the most challenging thing?

Where can people find your work? I have a bunch of my work at Unglued, various items at Game Giant and can be found on Etsy. How can our community support you especially in this time?

Creative block. As much as I wish I were pumping out new illustrations every other week, sometimes the spark just isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t there and taking a break is necessary before I can really bring an idea to life.

Grab something from my shop for you and your friend! I also have a free shipping code and can hand deliver your stuff to your front door! Every little bit helps. If funds are tight, even sharing my posts on Instagram or Facebook makes the biggest difference.

What is a word that best describes you?

How can we stay in touch?

Resilient.

Etsy: SnarkAndSentiment Instagram @snarkandsentimentshop

What advice would you have given yourself 10 years ago? Progress - not perfection. And to not hold myself back and just do the thing. Time spent going for it and finding out whether it works or not is better than time spent wondering what could have been. 55

THINK GLOBAL, ACT LOCAL

(From Left) Zahra Gaal, Fatush Abdallah, Hodan Mohomed, Sadiyo Hassan, Fatuma Mohamed Not Pictured: Zamzam Abdi

By Alex Cyusa Photo By Kayleigh Omang

A CONVERSATION WITH

NDSU's Somali Student Association

Peace Be Upon You! I hope these words find you practicing social distancing but emotionally (re)connecting with your beloved ones! As College students are wrapping up their Spring semester online, I was able to interview the NDSU Somali Student Association (SSA). My first encounter with this inspiring organization was on March 7, 2020 during the annual Somali Night Festival: Golden Age. The Memorial Union Ballroom was packed and the evening was vibrant and inspiring with a myriad of performances showcasing the mosaic of cultures embroidered in the rich Somali heritage and social fabric. Additionally, seeing young stellar women sharing their own narrative with pride got me so inspired. I hope that this story will inspire you to reconcile with the beautiful and century-old history that Somalia has. It is more than just a simple single-story Hollywood movie. Until we meet in person again, Stay Healthy! -Alex Cyusa

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Where do you call home and since when have you called Fargo home? What does home mean to you? Is Fargo home? Somali people are naturally nomadic, so home is not a physical city; it is where our families and the people most important to us are. In fact, many of us have not stayed in a physical place long enough to call home. Apart from Sadiyo, the president, who lived in Fargo most of her life, the rest of the team claim different parts of the world as home, from Turkey to Uganda to Kenya to California and Maine. Ultimately, Fargo brought us together even though we all grew up in different corners of the world. In that sense, Fargo has become all our homes.

What is the story of your student group? Zamzam Abdi, one of the co-founders and our current treasurer, was inspired to create a night to celebrate Somali people and culture. This idea rapidly expanded to not just one night but to connect the sporadic spread of Somali students on campus to each other to create a place they could call their own. We wanted to create a place where students could be proud of their identities and make their presence known in the community. This idea started the Somali Student Association and we continue to aspire to bring the Somali diaspora together to support them through our programs, to celebrate their success on campus and to share our culture with our community.

How was is it transitioning from high school to NDSU? The biggest transition for us was the shift in responsibility. In college, we are completely responsible for all our decisions, and not being required to do anything makes it even harder. We had

to become self-sufficient and learn to rely on ourselves. However, the newfound responsibility came newfound freedom to pursue our passions and expose us to a whole new community of people we have never met before. We became adults and the new chapter that came with it was a blank slate for us to write our own story filled with our own decisions be it good or bad.

Why should people care to read about cultures and customers outside of the Midwestern world? How important is the interconnectedness between worlds? This world is bigger than the Midwest and it affects everything we do. Whether it is the spread of disease such as COVID-19 or the spread of ideas across countries that bring progress for all of humanity, the interconnectedness of this world is an undeniable fact. We believe awareness of the global world is a basic civic duty and that ignorance does not dismiss responsibility. As this community always says, it is important to think globally and act locally. We must be able to see the world outside of us in order to improve the world around us.

Is there a misconception of safety in other countries, regions and continents (media impacting one’s opinion)? The media’s misconception about the safety of any country has a tremendous impact. For example, in the media, Somalia has always been shown as a country full of pirates, terrorists and no advancements. Aside from economic impacts, there are major societal consequences. Our rich history is forgotten, our culture disregarded and the advancements of our people become insignificant. It creates a gap between reality and the global image. Both inside

and outside of the country, people must defend their nationality and constantly clarify the actions of their people. Although SSA is helping to address this issue in our community, a level of individual discernment will go a long way in helping to close the gap and create a genuine understanding that transcends media.

What did you learn growing up in between many cultures that you can apply in Fargo? We feel that each different culture we experience makes us unique and complete. Our Somali culture is most prevalent in our homes. It influences the language we speak, the way we treat our elders and the work ethic we’ve instilled in ourselves. Our larger Western culture has brought us up with a sense of freedom and independence. Being from different subcultures and demographics made us outspoken about our views, fueled our drive and constant search for equality and enhanced our social skills. It also made us more accepting of others, optimistic about our choices and opportunities and empathetic to people of all backgrounds.

What is your vision 2030? Where will you be and why? Insha’Allah (if God wills), our vision for SSA is to be well-known in the Midwest. In the future, we plan to increase community involvement and establish resources to execute effective programs that can benefit the Somali diaspora. We hope to inspire the next generation of students and develop them into globally experienced young professionals. Our goal is to have a platform that puts the spotlight on our respected and recognized young leaders who are making an impact both locally and globally. By 2030, Fargo will be the hub for Somali excellence.

HEALTH & WELLNESS SPOTLIGHT

BY Dr. Sue Mathison Catalyst Medical Center and Clinical Spa Founder

The Anatomy of a Calling

“Do not pray for easy lives; pray to be stronger people. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers; pray for powers equal to your tasks.” – Bl. Solanus Casey As the world suffers through a historic health and economic tragedy, I've been pondering my purpose in life. Haven't we all? I haven't been in the ICU managing ventilated patients, but I've still been caring for the sick and the worried. The Quakers say, "Let your life speak." What have I been saying? I had vague dreams of being a doctor growing up. My family was well-versed in medical life. I was the oldest of seven kids. Maybe I'll be a pediatrician? I worked as an athletic trainer in high school, and parlayed that into the best work-study job ever as a student trainer in college, traveling coast to coast, and

58 | MAY 2020 | FARGOMONTHLY.COM

Dr. Sue Mathison is the founder of Catalyst Medical Center and Clinical Spa. She is a Stanford educated, triple-board certified physician who has received numerous accolades for leadership and Top Doctor for her clinical skills. Dedicated to the community, she is involved in the Dakota Medical Foundation, TedXFargo, The Choice Financial Board and more!

making enough to cover half of my private university tuition. Maybe I'll be a rehab doctor? I really liked ortho, but it seemed out of my league. I went to college in California and medical school in Texas, but I loved being from North Dakota. Maybe I'll have a rural practice? I really liked solving the diagnostic puzzles of neurology and internal medicine. Hmmm, maybe there's something there for me. No one was more surprised than me that I ended up a surgeon. I lacked the swagger that many surgical specialties, like general surgery and ortho, were known for. But somehow I found my place, and I look back with the hindsight and insight of a career three dozen years in the making. It's a career that is still unfolding for many more years. Something told me I needed to work with my head, my heart and my hands. Through my work, my mission is to help others lead happier, healthier, more beautiful lives. I get to work with the spectrum of life, from sweet tiny babies to vibrant kids, devoted parents, beautiful faces and softly wrinkled grandparents. I deal with the gravity of cancer and the finesse of aesthetics. I work with the senses of vision and hearing and taste and smell and balance. It just struck me recently, that maybe my family tree influenced me more than I knew. My dad, Mark, is a surgeon. My mom,

Marge, is a nurse and an artist. They are both retired, but their professions remain a big part of who they are. My paternal grandmother, Daisy, was a teacher. The word doctor comes from the Latin root "docere" which means teacher. She was also very stylish, and my last visit with her was to surgically repair her earlobes as I knelt by her rocker. She got to wear her favorite pearl earrings. My paternal grandfather, Alfred, was a house painter and a highway patrolman. I don't know how the patrol influenced me...maybe that I like to drive and listen to podcasts and audiobooks in my "university on wheels." My maternal grandfather was a barber, and back in the day, barbers were surgeons of sorts. Symbolized by the blood-red stripes on the poles outside their shops. I like to think that we both helped people look good and feel better. My maternal grandmother, Agnes, wrote poetry for birthdays, weddings and funerals. She created beautiful stationery with tiny tatted lace flowers and a green fountain pen for the leaves and the stems. When St Leonards Catholic Church in Pelican Rapids was built, she scrubbed every tile on the floor on her hands and knees.

My ancestors were generous to a fault. They were helpers for their children, their extended families, their patients, clients and their communities. Some speak of life balance with separate spaces for work and home. For me, I can't dissect my professional from my life, but I strive to integrate and harmonize the facets of my contribution. And I try to teach my son to work with his head, his heart and his hands. Theologian Frederick Beuchner defined vocational calling as "the place where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need." Author Parker Palmer summed it up nicely, "The world's deep needs are met daily not only by caring doctors and heroic nurses and inspiring teachers but by good parents, good plumbers, good hairdressers, good friends." I'll add the patient grocery clerks, the volunteer mask makers and all first responders to this list. Find your calling, and your life will speak volumes.

I look back and I see art, science, teaching, health, learning and creating with their hands.

e v a h e W d e r e v o dinner c YOUR GO-TO WILD GAME PROCESSING CENTER

PRIME CUT MEATS

Full-service fresh meat, poultry, seafood, and deli shop

2434 S University Drive Fargo, ND

701-476-1444

The Power Of Support By Brady Drake

Unfortunately, nearly every part of our society has been hit by the COVID-19 pandemic. The music industry is no different. While many of your favorite superstars have plenty of money to fall back on, the musicians that have yet to break out with their first nationwide hit may not. In order to help some of our local performers out, Livewire, a local live events company, has stepped up to showcase their talents and help them out financially. We sat down with founder Kent Kolstad to learn more. How did you decide to start doing these donation-based shows? When COVID-19 took hold in mid-March and required many to quarantine and work remotely, we found that our event production schedule quickly cleared out for the next 3-4 months. While we are grateful that many of our clients have chosen to postpone their events to later in the year, that still means that our income has been severely reduced for this period. Our team brainstormed ideas and quickly realized that many musicians and artists would be faced with the same challenge of lack of income from their regular local gigs, whatever those might be. We decided to reach out to a couple of local musicians and bands to see if there might be interest in being featured on a live-streamed broadcast, LIVE@Livewire, from our warehouse space, which we quickly converted into a unique music venue for this purpose. In lieu of paying them, we offered to set up a GoFundMe for the musicians featured, donating 100 percent of the evening's proceeds to them. The idea took off right away, raising over $1,000 on the first episode on March 17, with every show afterward doing

Kent Kolstad Founder, President and Technical Director just as well. We had over 9,100 unique views on the first show alone! Why do you think it's important to help these musicians out and give viewers entertainment during these times? First and foremost, as someone who comes from an arts and music background, I know first-hand that music brings people together, even if they're apart. As the COVID-19 situation became

The Gina Powers Band

more and more serious, we realized that there would be a need for people to take in and enjoy the arts in their homes -something other than radio, TV, or their Spotify playlists. Keeping these musicians playing means that viewers of all ages have an opportunity to consume and support local art, taking in something new that they may not have heard before, and to support their favorite local musicians in meaningful ways by showing they're watching online, and donating to support the musicians' continued creative work. While we know that many of the musicians we've featured do have "other jobs" -- part-time, fulltime, etc., -- we recognize that income from their art is a valid, real source of income and that it is one that should not be disrupted if we as a community want to be true supporters of our artists and musicians. What has the response been like from the music community? We have been so grateful to see a tremendous response from the music community -- both individual musicians and full bands have applied and have been featured since we got started.

How can people submit applications? Sign up at LiveAtLivewire.com! Donations are open. How else can the community help? Livewire needs to be able to sustain the work of its staff to produce these shows. We are grateful to have had two local companies sign on as sponsors, but we are in need of more support from our local business community to keep producing LIVE@Livewire. Sponsors are featured throughout the programming of each show by means of logos on the screen, social media mentions, and more. Those interested can sign up at LiveAtLivewire.com.

Livewire, in general, is really doing a great job of giving customers options to go on with their live events as planned during this pandemic and I'm sure you've seen an increase in demand. With that said, your company is still finding time to give back to local musicians. Do you have a passion for music yourself? Thank you for the kind words! As it pertains to music, I was very

The Cropdusters and JT Kennelly Band

involved in theatre and music from a young age through college, and actually was a wedding DJ for about 15 years, too. I'll listen with open ears to any genre out there. I can always find something to enjoy about the music I'm listening to. Music isn't just a bonus of living life; rather, it is the soundtrack that forms our lives and which can create meaningful impact across people and cultures. Is there anything else you have in the works or anything else unique that Livewire might do from a business standpoint during this pandemic? We just launched StreamConferences.com to bring to light our streaming broadcast services at Livewire. We've been very involved in bringing high-quality, fast, real-time one-way and twoway streaming to our live event clients over the last few years; as an example, networking companies with many national offices together for a unified company meeting, and jumping between locations in real-time to listen to presenters give updates from each location. While we certainly don't want to see gatherings go away â&#x20AC;&#x201D; gathering people and immersing them in an experience is critically important to communicate a message, no matter what type of event â&#x20AC;&#x201D; we are uniquely positioned based on our work with streaming live events to know what is expected of a truly immersive live event and how that can genuinely translate into a virtual event.

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