We Are All Fragile

Those in helping professions are drawn to careers to help individuals, to fulfill a void of helplessness within their selves. With that, comes a dichotomous flux of emotions where you feel elated and at the top of your game, or worse, devastated and wondering where you went wrong. In the midst of this, as a helping profession, it is vital to have a daily self-care routine, just not from your mental health but your physical health, too. When you feel your mental health being is taking a toll, in the form of stress, fatigue, irritability, burnout, sleeplessness, isolation, headaches, health concerns, etc., listen to your body.

As a Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern, I saw the varying tolls my professions was taking on my health and that I was a Mental Health Counselor, but I could not. As a counselor who ’ s core belief is to do no harm, I failed to include that also means to do no harm to myself. I was incredibly preoccupied with my career that when I began to speak again, in my aphasic state, I was more concerned about work and needing them to know what happened. My family informed me that I had other things to worry about and work was not a priority at the moment, that’ s when things began to make sense to me. I looked at my hospital room while the nurses began to assess my aphasia, I was petrified. I built a career on being a voice to those in need, I never thought that I would be the one to be voice-less. Going to sleep at night was the hardest thing I have ever done, with the constant fear that I was not going to wake up in the morning. I was truly alone and could not ask for help or reassurance, I made it a point to fight for my life while there. This is what lack of self-care did to me, and it can do it to you. In our world, taking on the role of being a Mental Health Professional, remember that we are fragile and human. Take mental health days, reach out for support when you need it, and be gentle with yourself.

Michelle Moody-Rubino is a clinical mental health counselor intern, specializing in dual-diagnosis in the field of mental health. Michelle recently graduated with her Masters of Science degree from Troy University in Tampa campus. As a therapist, Michelle therapeutic approach varies to match the needs of the clients being treated as everyone is an individual.

my mental health, and I dismissed them. Even through the COVID-19 pandemic when my self-care would have been better, I too was subjected to implications that my mental health was taking a toll on me. On a daily basis I was suffering with migraines, relentlessly, as a result of stress. While working from home, I would see clients on tele-health sessions while suffering with vertigo, nausea, light and sound sensitivity. This went on for months, additionally my chronic asthma also became worse. Going to my doctors was not helping, it was a band-aid on a wound. We were treating the symptoms, not the cause. I was advised by my doctors and my therapist that I need to take time off of work for my mental health and my work was not okay with this. In the midst of a global pandemic, where everyone was vulnerable, my needs were nonexistent. After six months of severe migraines and chronic asthma issues, it finally came to a rapid halt when my brain could not take the pressure anymore. Three days after my 27th birthday, I suffered from a stroke.

It started out with a throbbing migraine and feeling light-headed, then having difficulty recalling what was going on around me. I have no memory being in the ambulance to the hospital, however, I do remember when they called the code stroke alert on me. Everything after that came in waves of slow motion, like derealization, quite like the sound of the code stroke that still haunts me. I remember trying to communication with the doctors

Written By: Michelle Moody-Rubino, MS, RMHI