Flux Fall 2022 Lit Mag

Untitled

JenniferAlvarez

Sheworkedwithclayandmademe,feelIhadn’teverseen

Thetwinkleshehadprepared,withlove,forlittledoughmeIswearI’llliveforyou

Sheowers littletalks,Isteepinspringsprepared Sheclaimstheworldasadornment,Kamara,myonlytrueairIcan’tforgetyourlaugh

She’lllingertilthefrothdisappearsfromthemoonand

She’llwhineifthesundoesn’tshine,don’tworry,I’vesomebottledSoI’llbearound,enjoyingthesound

Untitled JenniferAlvarez

Blackinbabystar

bathingin smoke.Spittingsand softly hopingthehueshinder his inadequacy.If interstellarwaswelcomewe would’ve rainedroverbedsround domeddirtdelinquents

Andanonymityascends cradlingcometscause fondfriendsnally, found.

ToMySelfWhichBecomes

EliHiscott

"AsmyfriendJulianputsit,onlyhalfwinkingly:"Godblessedmebymakingmetranssexualforthesame reasonGodmadewheatbutnotbreadandfruitbutnotwine,sothathumanitymightshareintheactof creation."

-DanielMalloryOrtberg,SomethingThatMayShockandDiscreditYou

Iamtheholyfruit.

Letyourlipstasteme,taste

whatitistosaymynameasprayer Astruth

Iammany.Weareall.Iameachgrapethatgrows

withnointentexceptexistenceandsweetness.

Experienceisawordofitsown

Muchisunsaidinthebersofmyskin:instinct

Turnmetowine

Peelmyskinowithyourteeth

Cannibalizemewitheverytenderness

Oh,myeshquivers,oh,Iamvulnerabilityitself,oh, myseedsrollacrossyourtongueandsproutinyourbelly, oh,Iamendless,Iameternal,Iamregrowthandmultiplicity–Wemakemeanouroboros:consumemeandIamremade

Lovemeandholdmeandswallowmeandleaveme andremembermealways

SaccharineAmericaDream

GwenRoberts

I’vetastedfalsesweetnessofindelity, LikethatgreatnessofAmericandreams.

ButGatsby’soverrated,aDaisy

Inthemidstofhyacinths

Pluckanotherbook,anotherdream, Fromthehallowedhallsofthelibr’ry.

ForsakefoolishAmericanfancies, Turnyoureyefromcold,unfeelingverdancy, Readjustyourcompassfromnormalcy, Adoptachildlikecuriositytoguidethee, Buthavethetongueofserpentslid

Behindyouroftenwell-sealedlips

Untitled

HimaniMatoo

Iamachinadoll

Beinghushedandcooedandrockedtosleep

WhereIdreamaboutboys

Whichturntonightmaresaboutmen

MenwhocaressmybackwiththetipofagunandIundress

Whowatchmedanceinmydoublesidedglassbox

Cheekssweetlyushedbytheredlightof

Theameslickingmyheels,andhips,andchest

Curingmelikeakilndoesclay

Hardeningtheexaggeratedcontoursofmybody

Fabricatedbythelowlight

Panicked

Ithrashagainstmyreection

Justsothatthebluesandpurplesbloomtocontrastthered

JustsothatthemirrorsplintersandIcanseeotheranglesofmyself

Seemosaicsofyoungmenandlittlegirls

Singedngersgrabafallenshard

Scornfullydebridingmynecroticesh

Whittlingawayuntilthewhiteheat

Ofmyboneshinesbrilliant

Painfullyconstrictingbigbrother’spupilsinawe

TillIamrendereddowntomyunchangingframework

TillIcannallystepoutofmyhotsmokybox

Feelthecoolbreezerunthroughmyribs

Raisemyskeletonarmstosomegreatalmighty

Andbaskinthelimitlessnessluminoussilenceofthecosmos

AmnioticEnlightenment

GwenReubens

Aperplexityplucksmefromtheamniotic

Watersofembryonicenlightenment.

Onenailseversmyspinalroots, Theslipperyslittingsound

Asmooth-cutstatement

Thatnonewillcareaboutme

Unlessdeathitselfknocksdaily

Atmyclenched,grindingjaws.

Yettheothernailsighsjaggedly

Intomyabdomen,serratingitsway

Throughmyvoicelessviscera.

Thecriesclawatmyamygdala, Butnoreliefcancomenow,nornever

Thisothernail oh,howIhateits

Contradictoryadvice

Whispersseductively, Acaressofaironbasilarsails, ‘No-oneshallloveyou,allshallleaveyou, Shouldyoushareyourailing, Littlesaltbitch,worthlesssliver

Gnawingitswaythrough

Thediscardedheapsofpity

Nonehavetimetoshare.’

Ichewthecudofself-despair, Andpluckfrommyrippedskin

Mymother’sfallenhairs,

Whichwhisperendlesslythose

Cuttingrefrains

‘Nonewillcare no-oneshallloveyou ’

Mycordshivers,analganglionicgasp

Givinginasthenails’prophecies

Arefullledbyyou,youfew

WhoIlovedearest.

Amothernevertrulylies, Andso,alone,I’lldie

Inadismembereddribble

Ofmyownblood,spittle,andwastedpity.

DearSummer,God,Ihateyou. Ihateyousomuch.

IneverevenrealizeditwashumanlypossibletohavesomuchdisdainforatimeofyearuntilIthought abouthowIfeltaboutyou,summer Tobettercopewiththisintensityoffeeling,itissometimeseasier formetothinkoftheseasonsummerasaperson.Asagirlacoupleofyearsolderthanmewitha sadistic,bitterspirit.

Iwasborninsummer,June28thatis.IhatethatmybirthdayisinsummerjustasmuchasIhate Summerherself Ihatethatsummerislledwithfalsepromises IhatethatIcouldfantasizeforhours aboutallthatshewouldbring.Onlyforthesetoremainjustthat,afantasy.Ioftenndmyselfwishing summerneveractuallycamearound,justsoIcouldpreservemyperfectvisionbeforerealityruinedit. JustsoIcouldholdontotheideathatbettertimeswereahead

IthinkthereasonIhateSummerthemostisbecausesheishonest Sheisthetruthtellerwedonot wantbutneedinourlives.Assummerovertakesourexistence,wewatchthefriendswethoughtwe hadmorphintostrangers.Everyexcitinggoalwehadiesfurtherandfurtheroutofreach.Sheforces us

toconfrontwhatweeasilycouldhavedistractedourselvesfromthroughouttherestoftheyear. Summerscreamswork,thenplay,thenfeelguiltyfornotworking,thenfeelguiltyfornotplaying.She luresusintothewonderfulratracewecalllife,bettingonwhowillwinandaccordinglysprinkling some miseryinourwaywhenweleastneedit.Summeristheepitomeofwaitingbyourphonesforthemto callus,waitingfortheconrmationthatwearemorethanjustawaytopasstimeduringtheschool year,thatwearespecial.Apersontheywanttospendeveryfree,eetingmomentwith.

Summerisareminderofwhathappenswhenwetakethingsforgranted Becauselifecanbeso mundane,sorepetitive,butSummerisfreefromroutines,sheisabreathoffreshair.Sometimes,allwe needisasummer.Arealitychecktosetourprioritiesstraight.Tonallywakeupandgoafterwhatwe reallywant.

Sheisrefreshinginawaythatmakesyouhateherbutalsomakesyouaddictedtoher Addictedtothe waysheheatsuptheworld,scorchesothelayersweputupineveryotherseason,andndsawayto

uncoverwhatisreallywithinus.BecausethethingthatisscariestaboutSummeristhatshedoesnot revealsomejarringobservationthatyouweretooself-absorbedtopickuponyourself.Shetellsyouthe thingyoualreadyknowdeepinsideofyoubutdonotwanttoadmit Thethingthatkeepsyouupat night,stealingawayyoursleep.Thethingyouforceyourselftobelieveisnottruetoprotectwhatever littleinnerpeaceyouhaveleft.Onwhatshouldbeanightbrimmingwithyouthfulinnocenceand nostalgia,sheforcesyoutoacceptthethingthatbreaksyou.

Everyonebecomesadierentpersoninsummereveniftheydonotrealizeit Theybecomewhothey reallyare,evenifitisnotwhotheywanttobe.Becausethereissomethingaboutthewaythewaves enticeyouandthesunshinebeamsthatmakesyouforgetyouevenhadalifebeforetheoneyouhave now.Itmakesyouloseyourselfcompletelyinthepresent.Summerisablessingandacurse.Sheisall thetimeyoucouldhavewantedintheworldrunningoutbeforeyourveryowneyes Sheisareligionin

andofherself.Andsomehow,justwhenshehasknockedyoudownharderthanyoueverthoughtwas possible,shendsawaytorestoreyourfaithandgiveyousomethingtobelievein

Somehow,afteralloftheseyears,beinglikeSummerbecameaspirationaltome Ineededtobelikeher UntilIrealizedIalreadywas.

Sheisme.IamwhoIamtodaybecauseofher,becauseofthewayshehurtmeandthewayhercruel wordsstung Butmoreimportantlybecauseofthewayshehelpedmelearnhowtopickmyselfupand putthepiecesbacktogetherafter.

Thedestruction,thehealing,theanguish,theeuphoria,everythingshebrings Ifeedoofit.Ido not

knowwhyIevenbothertryingtodenythatIwantchaos Idonotjustwantit;Ineedchaostolive Becauseinsideofmegrowingpains,insecurities,fears,andregretsrumble,andIwanttoberidofthem sobadlythatIdonotthinkIcouldeverputintowordsjusthowmuch.ButIhaveneverfeltmore human,neverfeltmoreconnectedtoeveryonearoundme,evenstrangersIwillnevermeet.Because ourpainiscollectiveandunifyingandalmostdivineinthewaythatitkillsandliberatesus simultaneously.

AndInowrealizesomethingaboutsummer:asmuchasshebetrayedmeandsuckedeveryjoltof energyoutofmybody,asmuchasIhatedher.IwouldnevereverbeabletohatehermorethanIloved her

pages

TariniPankanti

rightnow,allofmypagesareempty exceptforone,yours yoursisdogeared

anditistornanditismarkedwithastaronthebottomwhichyoudrewyourself youalwayswereabitofanegomaniac

andyourpageislledwithbrightredpencrossedoutbyblackpencrossedoutbypencil restinpeacethecoolgirlIdreamedtobe yourpagestillsmellslikeyou

ifIstarehardenoughatthestaryoudrew,Icanphysicallyfeelmyselfwrappedupinthesmellofthe thirty-dollarcologneyoufoundattarget

yourpageisfull

everyline,everycorner,everypossiblespaceislledwithsomething Iusedtolaughandtellyouitwasbecauseyoumademefeelfull,whole

Iknowyoucouldeasilypretendtobeunawareoftheeectyouhadonme butIknowyouknowme

youknowthatIdidn’tevenneedthebaittobite youhadmehook,line,andsinker

butthepartIndthemosttragicisthatyourinkbledontothepagesafter howdevastatingisitthatyouareallowedtostainpagesthatihaven’tevenstartedwriting thatregardlessofhowhardIpressedmyinkdownononeofyourpages,mymarkwouldbegoneby morning

thatyourpagesweresofullofothergirlsandofunforgettablenightsthatmyabsencefromthe following chapterswouldprobablyhavegoneunnoticedbythereader

yourpageformeonlyhastwolineslled

andrecentlymyfriendshavebeentalkingalotabouthowterrifyingchangeis butIcan’thelpbutthinkabouthowmuchmoreterriedIamofstayingthesame thatyourpageswillcontinuetollup

thatyouwillndothergirlswhosepagesyoucandrawstarson

thatyouwilltellothergirlsthattheyarethebestthingthathaseverhappenedtoyou thatyourchapterswillcontinueandandyourpageswilloverow

andyouwillhaveawifeandkidsandanentirestorybookofmemoriestoshowyourgrandkids,of whichi

amjusttwolines

butIwillstillbestuckhere

inthesummerof2022

withmystained,emptypages waitingforyou

AFearOfMine

atallenormousgiant

Ispentyears

buildinganocean.

Walkingaseapail

fromthefootofmyrunningfaucet tothechalkysand brushingagainsttheshore.

Backandforthbetween

myhomeandwhatIwasmaking

Onceapuddle,theoceangrew

witheachheavyheave ofthepail, andsplashofsoftwater

Thisoceanwasvaster thanyoureyeswouldeversee.

Waterascrystal clearascellophane, andaswarmasyou wouldeverwantit.

Withthenishedoceanbeforeme, Irealizedthetoilblindedme fromthefact

thatyoudidn’tknowhowtoswim, andyouwouldn’tevercare enoughtolearn.

SestinaforOctober‘21

W.Hancock

Iclimbtomydeskaloneintheattic

Theconcussioncleavingawaymyteam

Whileeverylightstingspainfullywhite

Likeapainter’sblank,waitingcanvas

Asessayswrapwordsinaheadache

Proddingmeawayfromthefuture

ButImustwriteaboutmyfuture

Iclimbtomydeskaloneintheattic

Supplementalspokemyheadache

Inmeetingswiththatcampaignteam

Tocall,convince,coerce:tocanvass

Theemptyspreadsheetgleamswhite

AgainsttheglowofMcAulie,adullwhite

Stillbrighterthanaredsweatervestfuture

Creepingbehindthedoorsofeachcanvass

Iclimbtomydeskaloneintheattic

Towatchthesacksandcracksofmyteam

Onthesilentsidelinebenchinmyheadache

Setobythecrowd,theheadache

Setobyclassroomlights,sowhite

DownatU.Va,Icheerfortheirfootballteam

Enjoyingthefragiledreamofarealizedfuture

Iclimbtomydeskaloneintheattic

ToproveIlivebehindtheelectroniccanvas

Escapingthestickyclichésofthatcanvas

Whilectionsricochetinmyheadache

Iclimbtomydeskaloneintheattic

Thenightsblurinthecarpetdyedwhite

Momentswhirl,willingforwardaakyfuture

HoldinghopeI’llrejointhefootballteam

Buttimetakesmefurtherfrommyteam

Iadmiremymarkontheirtinycanvas

Andgiftthepaintingtoourpassingpast

Finishednotwithatouchdownbutaheadache

Octoberwindburnslikesummer’swhite

Iclimbtomydeskaloneintheattic

Losingteamscoverthecanvasintheattic

WhileIamblindedbythecalendar’swhite

UnknownofNovember’sfutureheadaches

Idon’tbelieveingettingovergrief.

Uche

Theideaofreturningtonormalcyafteralossisawed.Weencouragepeopletomoveonwaytoo quickly.Togetoveritatsomepoint.Togetbacktowork,getbacktoschool,getbacktopractice,get backtolife.

Well,IneverwanttogetoverthegriefIfeelwhenIthinkaboutsomeoneIcareabout Itremindsme thattheywererealandthattheirpresencewasdeeplyfelt.Ineverwanttostoprewindingbacktothe beginningofavideotowatchthemsmileorhearthemlaughorrushtowardsthecameratostopthe recordingbecausetheydidn’tthinktheylookedgoodthatday Itremindsmeofthemomentswe shared,whereweboththoughtwe’llliveforever IneverwanttostopcryingwhenIhearyourname broughtup.ItcomfortsmetoknowthatotherpeopleknewpartsofyouthatIdidn’tgettoexplore yet.Ineverwanttostopreadingourconversationsbecauseitallowsmetohearyourthoughtsagainin yourvoice.Ineverwanttostoplisteningtoyourmusicbecauseitremindsmeoftheglowyouhad whenyouwereinyourelement Whenyounallyguredouttherightplacetoputthecymbalsor howtoxtheautotuneinyourvoice.

Idon’tbelieveingettingovergriefbecauseitistheemotionalmanifestationoflosingsomeonethatwas oncehere AndwhyshouldIhavetoforcemyselftogetoverthepainIfeelinyourabsencewhenI’ve neverforcedmyselftobrushpastthejoyIfeltinyourpresence?Ithinkgettingovergriefmakesus thinkthateverythingisokayandwecandothisagain.Thatweshoulddothisagain.Itmakesthoughts andprayerssucientandlackofchangecomfortable.Idon’twanttohealfromgrief.Healingmakes mewanttofeelbetter.Andhonestly,noneofusshouldfeelbetteraboutthis.

Normalcyisahoaxweclaimtoreturntowhenwearetiredofdealingwithhowwefeelnowthat everythinghaschanged.Soiftheonlywaytokeepyouhereistobaskinthesemoments,I’lldoit.I’ll lookthroughthepictures,I’llsayyourname,I’llreadthemessages,I’lllistentoyoursongsjusttokeep youhere Becauseyoushouldbehere Andthatiswhatnormalcyfeelsliketomenowthateverything haschanged

Conversationswithmywall

Mary-Dryden(MD)Maio

thecockroachonmykeyboardnishes

myessayanddartsintotheoorboards

beforemyshoecancrackitscrust

roomwithcreaturesinthewallsandmovingshadowsisn’tmine

hasbeenovercomebypressingdartingbitsofnight

whatdoyoudowhengoinghomedoesn’tfeellikehome

iplastermywallswitheyes

youngandoldallserious

aeetofcynicsandmourners

towatchovermewhileisleep

yougrowdull

andisleepinthemiddleofthebed

inthemorningidon’tknowifthepain

betweenmythighsisaleftoverofyou

oraglimmerofmydrunkenbedfellow’sclumsyngers

yousleepinthemiddleofthebedhesaysandinod

igrowdull

cockroachcassiusplansmymurderunderthebed

asiblinkthemorningsunlightanddecipher

theshredsofnightleftover

intheeyesofmyeet,myfuneralprocession

thatmapthewallsofmyroom

theylookaway

Tree

Mr.Legume

Aquestion,yousee,Ihaveforatree,is howyoufeeltimewhenyou’renotthere

Areyouscaredbythepassageoftime?

Thewayiteatsatyourbarkand intertwines?

Orareyouatpeacewithitsfungal extortion?

Asthehandstickby

Andyoudontwhy

Yourenewithlayingdeadafterfour hundredyears

YourpastthoughtsareonestowhichI havekindredears

Idliketohear

Themindsetofatree

Juststandbyandletitpassyoutime

Theonetruethingyoudoisbe.

Self-Portrait:ArsPoetica

W.Hancock

“livinginritual,whereconsolation outweighsconsequenceandalltrajectories

bendtowardthecenter”

-SelfPortraitasAngler’sDamsely,CecilyParks wouldn’tyouliketoknowthemarkofwell-executedcharcuterie?

rstly,formicaforegoneforspiralingwoodfromanaspentree, breadporessmotheredbyquirkyquincejam&Ibericoham, and,chiey,theboardmustbeapaeantoawareness,thedetailedloveof thislivinghandnowwarmandcapable

ofscrollingthroughcontent thepen’sslaughter

tomystifymadeunattainable

anothernamewritinwiredwater

asubmergedalarmblaresinsunkenmind endlesssmokespewingfrommyblueblowhole suocatedbyashesofburningsoul

asIattempttoreachthesurfaceandnd anescape amorningstroll headphonesleftbehind

RedSquareHaibun

W.Hancock

Snowakesutteroutofthenight,restingonmythickcoatbeforemelting,darkeningthe alreadyblackwool.Thesnow’swetremainsshineinlightthatspillsoutofredarchedgates, openingtotheKremlin’simmovablewallsandSt.Basil’sdistantoniondomes formidable andfamiliarfromlmsoftroops,tanks,nukes ButChristmastreesandbeadedlightswarmthe whitestorefrontsideofthesquare,neverpicturedinpropaganda,anditsfancifulskatingrink. MybrotherandIraceincircles,playfullyfallingoncold,cuttingicewithsmilesthatcarve throughtheloomingredshadow.

Asmallglovestretchesout

Beyondtheblade’sredglint

Frolickingunderwhitefaçades

Self-portraitasNarcissus

W.Hancock

propheciesofaestheticnaturesincommunion witherasIturnfromsunlightofanymph’scall, sweetasgummywormsswallowedbyasongbird, fromlipssoftasmagnolialeaf’sdropontowaterfallrushingincuriosityunobsessedwithintricacies

boundingexactandabsurdthroughmywrittenword walkingovermiseryofaprematuremondaymizzle

Istumbleuponapuddle,papersofproseandpoems

pooledinmyhandwriting,irresistibleswirlsofink

drawingmyblinkingeyeswideopen,mesmerized, oatingfrozeninthebrillianceofmyburningpen foreverbetweenngers,thecylindricalshardcuts

self-reectionsintojoyful,kaleidoscopicripples absorbedbylimbsnourishedintorootsoutstretched attachedtomind’smagnicentlymuddledswamp earthyecstasyofcompletenesswithoutcoherence. mybuddingpetalsemergefromdelightfulbrindle asdaodilyellowwingsofanangel’sascendance intoaheavenwroughtfrommydirty,divinesoil

PortraitoftheArtistasFourObjects

W.Hancock

LacrosseHead

knotscarefullystrungandrestrung

shiftdiamondsintoanelusivepocket

crowningcomplexovershooting stringsburstingthroughsidewall’sdirt

meshtipsburntunfrayedmakeshiftaglet

preventsanunraveledoverownthrow

agracefulwingscrewedtolightmetal

violenceoatingslashesstainingnylon

Boots

agraduationgiftpasseddownageneration

arst-born’screasedsturdiness,doubled

lighterthanchestnuthotchocolatestains

darkerthandustkickeduponoldtrails

byfootstepsleavingsmallerfootprints

thosethingswilllastalifetime

PairofBlueJeans

sincethatrstAprilmorning

withoutuniforminanewtown

blue disarming,disalarming

whisperingdenimconsistency throughJanuary’schilledwind andAugust’ssummersweat

pairedupwithanoxford

dresseddowntoat-shirt

Gingersnap

hintingatginger’spalettecleansingre

fuelingtaste’scruelforgetfulness,

thethinspicesweetlydisappoints intenselyephemeralbutforcrumbs thatmaterializeweekslaterunavoidable pressingintoskinimprintingamark anicknameforanangryredheadedmother

Totheworld.

DavyHBF

NigerianafrobeatsmusicianpresentshisEP“PieceofMind”withtheintentionto bringAfrobeatstotheworld.4-songEPlledwithhisuniquemelodies,indigenousswag,profound messages,andbody-movinginstrumentals.“PieceofMind”isa3partprojectbyHunnidBandGlobal Records,acreativecollectivecrewfromNewYork 3monthsafterreleasing“PieceofMind”Davyis once

againinthestudioworkingonmusicforhisupcomingproject“EdoBoyTendencies”BorninEdo State,

Benin,Davy’sartwillconnecttheworld

Moresoundsfortheoneslistening,morevibesfortheonesfeelingit-DavyHBF

“PieceofMind”byDavyHBFavailablenowonallstreamingplatforms

Coverartfor“PieceofMInd”byDavyHBFandaphotoofDavyHBF

towardsthelight

MariaRahmouni

“Don’tleavenowthatyou’rehere.

Stay,sotheworldmaybecomelikeitselfagain.”-FaizAhmedFaiz

two-heartedboy,don’tlettodayleaveusbehind

isn’titenoughnowthatthegrassisalive?

thattheowlsstandwatchwhenyou’returningyourback?

stayheretwo-heartedboy,stay

andwhisperyesterdaysintotheforestsotheyblurotheconifers

thepineswillcontortthequietoftheworldinto asoundtforyourcrossedeyes.

maywewatchthemothsbecomerestlessunderastreetlamp

likerunawaystowardssomegreatescape

themoonitselfistoomuchfortheirwingstoholdagain.

two-heartedboy,don’tlettodayleaveusbehind.

isn’titenoughnowthatthegrassisalive?

thattheowlsstandwatchwhenyou’returningyourback?

stayheretwo-heartedboy,stay

andwhisperyesterdaysintotheforestsotheyblurotheconifers. thepineswillcontortthequietoftheworldinto asoundtforcrossedeyes.

maywewatchthemothsbecomerestlessunderastreetlamp likerunawaystowardssomegreatescape.

themoonitselfistoomuchfortheirwingstoholdagain.

AYolk

KolbeOsarchuk

Flattenedunderthisamingconcrete, Herheart–ayolk

Runsacrossthecrackeddoorframe: Alocalspectacle.

Glassringsoutstretchedastheywhisper ‘Poor,poorgirl’.

Imakemyheelsloudandamboyant, SheshouldknowIamhere;Ihavebeen.

Eyesopen,onlycracked, Shesparksonlytopinchherpinkiesaroundtheame.

Herribcageharksandhails, Thinnesstheparticipationaward

Iholdherfaceinmyhandsandaskherforthecrumbs

Itellherthispendulumswingspastthismoment,neverstopping. Shewilleventuallyjumpothislift, Andwillhaveforgottenhim,thistown,thesepeople

Itends,itburnsandisoh,sorichandthenit Stops.Blandandunmemorable.

Shewillleaveitinhercupboardlongpasttheexpirationdate.

Youwillndthewayoutofthehole

Asthedirtgetswornawaybyviolentstormsandbellyaches.

Youwilllaughsohardthatthetasteofthetearsthatfallout

Nolongertastelikeheartacheandanemptypassengerseat. Theearthandsiltundercalciumclearnail, Remindyouofthejourney,butit’smoreanuisancetowashaway

Thenaunt.Anotherbenchmarkthatwarrantsafewhalf-heartedcongratulations, Untilit’slostinthelecabinet,underthefolders,brushedoverinthemove.

Youwillhaveforgottenthemomentsyounowclingtosotenderly, Pretendingtheclothiscashmere.

Youhavelustedagain.

Youhavebeenrawagain.

Youhavebeenbrokenagain

Youhavehealedagain.

Youhavebeenhungryagain.

Youwillsmilewhenthesunlightkissesanddancesuponyourcheeks.

Youwillkissagaininbackseatswiththewindowsdown

Youwilllaughintohisteeth.

Youwillholdyourfriend’shandassheasksyouwhatthisallmeans.

Youwilltellherthethornsarenotlesssharponcetheowerblooms,

Buttheyarealsonotwhattheeyeisdrawnto.

Oncethepetalssproutyouwillhavelongstopped

Countingthedayswaitingforthemto

Sheisshell-shocked

Shesitstherethumbingoversomefabricscrapshehas

Givenmeaningto.

Thetemptationgetsthebestofme,andI

Cannothelpbutthrowheragain.

Youwillforgivehim.

Youwillforgethim.

Youwillthankhimforshowingyouwhatfalselovegrows, Whatfalsewordsbring, Howfalsepromisescut.

Youwillunderstandthathehasgivenyouthisgiftofknowing–Youwillneverguessagain

Shelooksupatmethroughmuedsobs.Shelovesandsheaches,andsheswearstheice

Cannevermelt.

Asmuchassheturnsthegasup,theairischilledandwaiting

Thereisalossuptoherneckandsheknowsthestories

She’sreadtheletters.

Sheknowsthiswillpassbutshecannotvisualizeit.

Iclosemyeyesfondly.

Iameternallygratefultoalwayshavethissweet,naivegirlinme

Theonewholovedsodeeply, Shethoughtitastain.

Impenetrable.

Iwanttobewoman

KolbeOsarchuk

Iwanttobewoman. NotinthewayIamwoman: Thebloodandthebloating, Saltstrippedtearsreachingforthe YouthfulinnocenceblownawayinCarolinabreezes; I’vetastedthembefore.

Iwanttobewomaninthesexyway.

Iwantmybreaststoswellandmyskintoshineundercandlelight Glidingaroundcitycorners,they’llthinkI’mabarista.

Iwanttolookinthemirrorandseeevenshoulders, Asharpjawwithaquickwit.Eyesthatarebraggedon Bythemenwhogettolookdownatthem

ButIalsodonotwanttobewomanthisway. IshiftuncomfortablywhenInoticeapairof Wanderingeyesbehindelevatordoors

Somethingabhorrentlyunsettlingintheactofdesire Iwanttobesweet,buttery,warm;thetypeofcroissant Hismommighthaveliked.

Iwanttobethewomanwhoselaughglidesgracefully, Untouchedbylingeringfearsofabadtooth Ortheblemishesonherchest.

AfairytaleawakeningFoldingcoverswiththehelpofsongbirds, Fryingbreakfastbythesurroundingwarm,glowingair

Ihaveasenseofhumorthatisgawkyandawkward. Itisnotwomanenough.

Ilikethisaboutmyselfsometimes Losingmyselfinthebitorthenextdumbjoke OnThursdaynights.ButsometimesIlaughlikethatinfrontofhim,

Andwonderhowmanymonthswehaveleft.

Iwanttowearaskirtwithoutpullingitdownaroundtheedges, OrcorrectingmyhipsifIfeelImightbetryingtoswaythem Idon’tthinkI’mtryingtoswaythem. WhatifsubconsciouslyI’mtryingtoswaythem?

Iwanttoexistphysicallywithoutneedingtobeconsciousofit. ButIamhere,likeyou,andunbeknownsttousand Oursoulsbeforearrival:wehaverulestofollow.

Porestohideandbonestocover.Acode.Aruling. Whatitmeanstobeagoodwomaniswhatitmeanstobearehearsedone “Please”sand“thankyou”spouroutofmeasapologies, ChangingthesubjectsoIdon’thavetolookathimdierently, Iuthepillow, Ichopthedamncarrot

Theguidelineofmytightjawwalkingpastgawkingmenonthestreet;Idonotseethem. Ihaveneverseenthem.

Icatchmyselfmakingastrangeface

Andinstinctivelyreplaceitwith Asmile.

Finally,Iamwomanwithouttryingtobe.

AnExpiredKindofLove JadaBenefield

Iamaproductofanexpiredkindoflove

Alovethatwasstretchedbeyonditslimits

Pulledandpulledforyearsuntilitbroke

Piecessoshatteredyetidedicatedmychildhoodattemptingtomoldthemintosomethingthatwasnot quitelovebutcloseenough

MydadrefusedtoevervisittheeyedoctorbutovertheyearsI’dcatchhimsquintingtoreadwordsand drivingmorecarefullyatnight

Withhishandstightlygrippingthewheelandhisbackupright

Yetforeveryfamilyroadtrip,hewasinthedriver’sseatwithzerocomplaints

Becausemymomoncetoldhimdrivingonhighwaysmadehernervous

Though, Irarelysawthemholdhands

Sometimesi’dquietlywalkpastmydad’socelateatnight

Hiseyebrowsfurrowedwithfrustrationandhisleftlegshakinginrepetitivemovementswhilestaring athiscomputerscreen

Stickynoteswithrushedwritingplasteredmessilythroughouthisdesk

Everynowandthen,i’dwatchhimletoutanexhaustedsigh

Andleanbackinhischairandslowlyclosehiseyes

I’dhidebehindthestaircaseandseemymomenterhisoce

Softlytappinghisshoulderandplacingthedinnerhemissedonhisdesk Andshe’dwalkoutsilentlyjustassheentered

Though, Theyneverutteredthewords“iloveyou”

Theirechoinginsultsandscreamingmatchesbecameamelodyinmyhead

Oneigotaccustomedtolisteningto

Convincingmyselfthatsometimesloveisloud

Convincingmyselfthattheirloveisjustlostandneedingtobefound

Themelodyhummingtomethatsometimeslovehurts

Eachnoteremindingmethattheircoldsilencewassomehowworse

Andonedaywhenthemelodybecamequieter, Ifoundmyselflearningthatlovecanbegentle

Lovecanbekind

Itellmyselfeachdaythattheirexpiredlove

Doesnothavetobemine.

FlyBluebirdFly

JuliaMcCormack

ybluebirdy

orI’llhavetostuyou tokeepyouforever

sothatyourfeathersdon’tdropdown tothemuckofrainplinkinginthegutter

ybluebirdy

orI’llnaildownyourfeet

sotheydon’tghtforthebitterbread ofahotdoginthepark withthebloatedpigeonsand littlebrownmenthatmarchinlines

ybluebirdy

orI’llmuzzlethatblackbeak soitdoesn’tbitethepoisonousair thatkillsslowerthananyshotgun

ybluebirdy theendiscoming itsonlyeightblocksaway barrelingdowntomyheart

ybluebirdy

beforeyourheadblowsawaywiththeplasticbags anddaredevilsreachuptoyourbough

FallinlovewaPoet

JadaBenefield

Iwanttofallinlovewithapoet

Iwonderwhatit’sliketotransformmeintobeautifullines

Andmyawstobedescribedsoharshlyyethiddenbehindtheillusionofaprettyrhyme Tostareintomyeyesandseeaformoftrueart

Asahuman,I’manintentionalmess

Ichipawaytheblackpolishonmynails

Ismearmymascarajustslightly

Mypantshangonmywaistlooselybecauseitmakesmefeelmorefree

mismatchjewelryonmyhair,neck,andwristbecauseitmakesmefeelmoreseen

Butiimaginewhatit’sliketobeapoem

Forthetearsthatoncetraveledacrossmyfacetobewrittenasanocean

Writingmysmileaswarmth,myhugsascomfort,mykissesaswordsinconversation

Yousee,thatiswhatitisliketofallinlovewithapoet

Forsomeone’sentireexistencetobeaformofinspiration

Hewon’tbeliketheotherguys

Surethewordshespitareunkind

Butiknowtheremorsefollowedbythesadlookinhiseyeswillmakeforthemostamazinglines

Whenhecutsmewiththesharpnessinhistone,theinkwillbleedthroughthepages

Andwhenicannotescapethelieswrittenasprettytruths,hispenandpaperwillsaveme Poetryissuchabeautifultragedysoevenwhenweght

i’llsomehowonlyrecallthesoftnessinhisvoiceasrecites

Surethepainwillrundeepbutonceitbecomesastanza,it’llallfade Insomeways,me&himwouldbesame

Writingchaosintocalmness

Becausethoughwehatetoadmitit, Thesewrittenwordsaretheonlythingsthatstay.

areyoucoolwiththat?

Ace

imean,withme, sippinginsteadofdowning, drowninginanxietyuponseeingyou, tipsyafterone-and-a-half redsolocups.

theonesoutboozinginsteadofsnoozing likei’mdoing underpinkcovers hidingtheguiltthatllsme fornothittingitwithyou, yeticouldn’ttellifyou werehittingonmeornot confusion

feelingsofbeingusedsoprofuse ican’tevenstomachit, goingoutandspoutingout dumbshitguysdon’tknow whattodowith, thengoingbacktobed, thisisn’twhatiwanted.

i’dratherplayalongwiththeintroverts thanplaybeerpongwhileonalert chugging‘tilivomitontheoor andthenstandingbackup tohavetowalkafewmilesmore.

i’vedecided alittlepartyingneverhurt, icannothideit,

butwhatmightbecooltoyou mayseemuselesstome anddangerous andstupid imprudent.

DinnerofChampions

Palinurus

Accordingtothelawsofbiologyandthestate, Iammeat,nothingmore

Thantheeshonthesallowbonesthatbow

Undermynegligibleweight.

Thosewhowouldliketotakeabiteofme

Shouldbeadvised:Iamnotafeast.

Mymusclesaretoughandcorded, Gamygristle,leanwithnofat

Onmybrittleandbreakablebones

There’ssomethingtobesaid,Isay, Aboutthesexualizationofvictims’bodies

Intruecrime:theytalkabouttheyoungbodies

Andthewhitebodiesandthebeautiful,tragicbodies

UntilthewordstopsmakingsenseandIwonder WillIbesexualwhenI’mdead?

Mybreastsshrankoverwintertime,

AndIhaven’tgotenoughbloodtobleedout, Oreventoblush,really,

WhichIhaven’tdoneforsometimenow.

Notsincehemanagedtomakemesoft, Managedtocoaxmeintoapot

ThatIthoughtwasabathuntilitboiled, AndfromhimIlearnedthatI’mpretty Heat-tolerant;failedstew

Thatwasstubbornenoughtohangon

Tomywastedwastingbones,soIsuppose

Thatwhenmytimecomes, Mankindwon’thaveanyuseforme, AndI’llbeleftforthescavengerstoenjoy.

Theieswillpushmyeyelidsclosed,theraccoonswashmyfeet; Iwelcomeyou,vultures come,tryandeat.

GameofLife Scarlet

Icouldn’thandlecasinosifthehousealwayswins. IcanbarelysucceedinthehousewhereIlive. LadyLuckhasleftmescarredwithbothdiceandcards, orperhapsmylackofskillmakesthegamesIplayseemhard

It’salwaysmeinYahtzeethattendstolosetheirmind. TheonlystraightItendtorollisthedirekind. MysavingthrowsinD&Dllmewithdread, andIownenoughsnakeeyesforPETAtowantmyhead.

InLiar’sDice,I’monthiniceeverysingletime, andthewayIfailatBoggleneverfailstobogglethemind Mycrappyskillsatcrapsarebestleftunmentioned ThrowingthegamewhenIthrowthediceisnevermyintention.

IfIhavecards,I’mafraidwhenmyopponentantesup becausenomatterwhatIdo,IalwaysknowI’llbust. Myblackjacklosingstreakisthestuofbaddreams, butIdon’twanttowakeupifitmeansaskingsomeonetohitme.

EverytimeIgosh,PETA’sbountyonmerises

EverytimeIblu,theyseerightthroughmyguises. Withallthetwo’sIdrawyou’dthinktheworld’sagainstme, anditreallyfeelslikeI’mplayingcardsagainstallofhumanity.

TheTenthMuse Scarlet

Idonotenvythe…..

whohadtowatchtheir….. crumbleintofragmentsatthehandsof

DoloswearingamaskofAthena

AConfusedAbecedarianWonderingHowTheHellTheyGotHere Scarlet

Athoughtleavesme breathlessonthebeatenpathtomyclasses.

Couldtheyhavelied?Wasthereamistake?

DoIactuallydeservetobe

enrolledhere,surroundedbycavalierattitudes?It feintsmyheartassteelvices

gripmylungs

HowcanIbesure

Ididn’tmakeamistake,vainlytryingto justifymyplaceasmorethansome

kidthatstumbledontothesehallowedGrounds?

Longdaysandlongernightshavepassedwith mymouthwateringforananswer,but nothingisfound,notmuchairisleft

O’erando’erIslogthroughthesameroutinewithmybrain. Perhapsthethoughtleavingmyknees quakingisjusta

ruse Perhapseveryoneisjustaswinded Somehow,mybrainalwaystalksback, tellingmeI’mwrongand undereveryone’ssmileslie venomaimedatforthe wheezinggreenhorn

waitingforaresolution, wantinganycrumbofconclusiveproof,and weepingatthethoughtthatitmightnevercome

TheWayYouSmile Scarlet

Everytimeyousmileyousendmeintoaruckus asmychestbecomeslighterthanthecloudsaboveus. It’sautteringinmystomachthatIcan’tgetenoughof Myfaceheatsuplikethesuninsummerskies whilemyeyesshutterandbutteriesarise, colorizingaworldpreviouslyonlyblackandwhite.

I’mleftmeltinglikeiceinasummerday’slemonade andmyheartfeelslikeitstopsandIfeellikeIneedrstaid. It’seitherthatorpoundingjustlikeatimpani whileIholdmybreatheverytimewemeet, wonderingifyou’refeigningnicetiesandjustactingnicetome orifyourgrinsaregenuineandyoureallylikemycompany.

sixmechanicalbabies

AgnesRedvil

Thereisanincineratorhiddenwithin, buriedinacreviceofthewombforthe unsuspecting,theunwonted I’vepumpeditfull withonelunggasoline, spiritedpetrol,seizedtheeshlymotorcord untilthegearsrattledlikeironbeads.

Incineratorwantstoeatadeliciouscry

Thisiswheremybabiesturntodustand mybodyshakeslikethecrumblingwall, cementedover,againandforever,untilnot Itconsumesthescrap,theskin,thewaste, theblood,themetal,thengernail,therubble. Oh,pleasetakemore!Takeitall!Eatitall Iwantit!

Ioperateheavymachinery.

Mylittleones,IcrushtheirbonesandIdestroytheir homeandagainIamaloneuntilIamnotandthereis anotherandoncemoreitisdone Incinerator,dear,areyouhappyyet?

You’veeatensowell sixofmychildren andabiteofmybreastfordessert.

Please

Areyoufullyet?

epimetheus

KayminHester

ofcourseit’smeintherainagain; breathingicydragonreandcloudsthecolorof sunsetorthecolorofmycheekswhenyou won’tlookaway

ofcourseit’smeintherainagainbecause god,doesn’teverythingfeelnewwhen theworldgoesquietforjustafew sacredmoments,when thelightsglitterthroughasilvercurtain.mysins soakintotheearth,fertilizingher,orperhaps burningherfromtheinsideoutbecause thepiecesofmearen’tshards, collectedandledto safety iburnlikereies,like ineedsomethinginmedousedandican’t ndtheameand thistorrentfeelsliketherstfreshairi’vebreathedindays. ofcourseit’smeintherainagain, waitingforyou,expectingdierentoutcomeslike i’mnotalreadymadenough. ofcourseit’smeintherainagain, checkingmessagesandtheproofofhowlittleyouseemtowantmeuntil i’minyourbed,armstwinedaroundyouandyousaysomethingabout foreverortwirlmycurlsthroughthose musician’sngerswiththesamerhythmyouuseonyourown. ofcourseit’smeintherainagain becausei’mclingingto open-mouthedkissesandswallowedgaspsunderaneonglowor

thesilentlightningibecomeunderyourpalms.lettherain douseme,holdmebythethroatandtellmetobe strongerthanthis,thanyou,than ofcourseit’smeintherainagain becauseiammadeofalifetimeofmistakes. ofcourseit’smeintherainagain, wonderingifyou’ddancewithmeonrooftopbarsor underthecloudedeyeofmidnight. ofcourseit’smeintherainagain, becausei’vedonesomuchwrongandi’lldo somuchmore,but youmakemybonesgoquietasificouldeverdeservesuch reprieve.youmaketheworldstophummingitstirelesssong,asif eachshudderingbreathbehindashadowedapartmentdoorwas therst.ofcourseit’smeintherainagain, yournameonthetipsofmyngers,sweetandbitterand achingallatonce

BrownCollegeApplication

EmilyHemlinger

Dearest,Iamalullabye

Madetolullyoutosweetdreams, Designedtoloveeverypieceofyou

Tolaybesideyouandtakenospace

Intheend,youwillwake

AndIwillbeasweetshadow

ButhereIam,singingnightly.

Iwillbeherealways

Entwinedinyou.

Witheverycut-shortdreamIend, Toberebornforyourpleasure

SolitudeandIhaveneverspoke

Sospeaksoftly,myLove

Andthinknotofthelightbehindthecurtains.

Sinkintothewarmthofme

Forinmyarms, YouandI

Areoneinthesame

Amoment, Heldhere

Forever

ToYou,InaSentence. EmilyHemlinger

Idrovedownmilesofcountryroadswatchinggnarledtreesypastandturntoblursonly toarriveatonepeeled-paintedshedtocarryaboxbacktomytinycarandleaveformilesunfamiliar toleadyoudowntwoturnsintwobaretunnelsthattaketwominutestolearnand toeatrice-stuedsushifartooquicklyasathankyouIdidn’tneedorwantorcrave thesamewayyoucraveafterthesethreemonthsofsayingnoIhavetried tobeagoodfriendbutnowIdriveagaininstuedmilesjusttogethome totrytoescapefromyouinmyscreeninmycrushingtoo-longdreamsonlyforyou tograbmebytheneckagainstawallandit’sawfulitmightbetheonlytime(theonlyperson) Iwillneverlikeitfrompleaseyou’retooclosepleaseletmegogetoyou’re tooheavyyourspringmattressishurtingmeandpleaseyouare tooandIwakeupagaininmyunfamiliarbedwithatext tothankyousomuchforyourhelpandcanyoucall itsokayifyousaynobut itneveris.

AQuietTripFromWhichI’llNeverReturn EmilyHemlinger

IcanoedownariverandIamyoursaslongasmypaddleisinthewater Witheveryslicemymuscles trembleandIcanfeeltheburnofloveforme,yourloveforme,Ihope.Therivercarriesme anti-straightandIcanfeelthatthisistheone,thatIwon’tneedtoswitchsidesandthatIcanhandle thehurtanywaysbecausethatiswhatagooddaughterdoes.

Iam12andIgetoutoftheboattopushitunstuckinashallowpartandIwatchasmymotheroats away,notbotheringtopickupapaddle.Myyoungestsistercriesinthemiddleandshecomfortsher, notme,whenIclamberin.Iswitchsidesandcontinue.Iwasnotoutofthewaterforlong,ifyou countthecoatingwetnessthatdrip-dripsdownonmethenreally,Ididnotleaveitatall Please The riverpushesupstreamagainandagirlthatmymotherwillnotcomfortcries.

Thepaddledipsdownandtheasymmetrykillsme,onesideburningfarmorethantheotherbutitis thefactthattheyburnalonethatmakesitworse Iamoatingaloneinaquietriverwithnocurrent andIamcarriedalone,nowhere.TheboatcreaksandIlaydown,alone,daringthewatertocomealive again,totwistandpullmeuntilIcomeundone,toletmefeeltheburn,tosymmetrizemymisery.Isit upandIhavenotmoved,alone Iknowtheriver'sresponse Mytearshaveowntofreshwaterandleft itunchanged.Itisachallengeandacalling,andIrowawayfromshore.

You,theStars,andtheWorldthatTurnsBlack

EmzPhan

Ihadadreamduringthegentlesunlitday, Areveriethatpaintedtheraysinmidnight Asifasolararehadblownthefuses

Ofwhattookourscreen-strainedeyes Fromthestarsabovethehorizon. .

It’sfunnyhowIrecallastringofwords, Aclusterofletterspromisedtome Withtheassumptionthatwewouldkeep

GazingatthesameNorthernskylights

Evenasthelightyearsbetweenusgrewfar .

Andourmindsandsoulsandheartsgrewfarther, .

ThefarthestithadbeensinceInoticedtherstsignof Stellardrift–yetwealwaysseemedthatway, Destinedtocollideandpullapartlikegalaxies . .

Buttheuniversewillonlykeepexpanding,won’tit? . .

It’sfunnyhowItriedtoghttheforceofgravity, Tobypassthelawsofnatureinsheerdesperation. Butsuchmeasureswerefutileintheveryend

WhenIrealizedthatItoohadmyownpathtotake HealingtheworldthatIhadturnedintovoidblack. . . Perhaps,inthenextrevolutionaroundtheSun, Thehigherpowerswillstringapartourfates, Sothatwefullydivergeandneverconvergeagain, SothatIcannallyreachthesolarsystemItrulybelongto.

Wet-WillyWoodRot EmilyTerlizzi

Iamkeepingtime, awashbelowthestaleblanketofwavesand mylungsarestarving.

Airfeelslikemoldinmychestand mysternumisaching–withthepressofairbornespores, withmyincessantheartbeat

Icannotsuckmystomachinwardtolookskinnyforyou,Darling. Mybreathislaboringinmybloatedabdomen,and Icannotwillawaytheacheinmymuscles

ThefatiguethatIwishyouwouldknow. ThatIwishyouwouldlickcleanfrommybones

I’matthepointwherethestreetsignsarebeginningtosingyourname.And maybeit’sacurse,maybeit’smyinsidesturningthemselvesout ormaybeit’sthatthey’reclawingtheirwaybacktoyourngers (backtothefeelingofyourmouth,yourthumbs,yourtongue-thebeatofyourbreath)

It’smytongue yours thepressureofwhat’sbeenleft staleinyourlungsforalifetime But Iwantyoutopourit liquidbreathandliquidecstasy intomineuntilIcanshareitsweight. UntilIcangiveyoumyown,but it’smakingmyheartpound.It’sbringingmetothepoint.

Tothepointintheskywherethesunlitblueisyearningforangertipofstarlight. Oneitcanlicktotheknuckle,brushanailacrossamolar Tastethatlittlescentofrelease.Ofchange ofthedierencebetweenwhatithasseenalreadyandwhatitwantstoknow.

Iwanttoknowthetasteofyourgrin

Thescentofyourheartanditsswollencanals, howitsbloatreectstheacheofmyown drenchedchest.

Theoor’sdrippingdownmyshoes,Darlingand Icannotwillyourvoiceoutofmyears.

Digapinkiein(It’sawet-willy,Darling,laughalittle)and maybethesoundwillleakoutintosilence

Butmaybethathurtsalittlemorethanwhenyouslamit intoricochetsthroughmyhead

Thisischeesy.

Thismakesmeuncomfortable.

Thisisacliche

Rememberthecliches.

MomandDadbreathedthemintomybonesand thetasteofyourmouthpressesthemdownthebackofmythroat Breatheyourownstoriesontomytongue,downintothewarmthofmybody,and drawthemoutwhenI’mbelowyou.

WhenIcan’ttakeinmorethantheshallowdrippingsoftheworld, pullthemfrommewiththegripofyourngersaroundmyskin, thepulseofyourwristwrappedaroundthethrobinmythroat.

Pushyourstories,theseundesiredcliches,back intome.

Thebutteryuttersonmyuvulaand

Ican’thelptheipofitsdeepdive,ngertipsoftovermyribs,underthemoldofyourpalms.

Bendmeatwilland

Iwillonlyevermissyouwhenyou’reunderthescrapeofmynails

Thisisacliche.

SEAGULLSANONYMOUS

CassieDallas

Ihaveaconfessiontomake:Ican’tstopeatingSeagulls. Thereareatleastveinmystomachrightnow, Neckswrunginmyintestineslikesixpackrings, Beakshardagainstmystomachlikehernias

EveryminuteortwoIdryheaveacoupleofbile-slickfeathers Ontotheblacksplashandwatchthemdribbledowntothecounter. IthinkmaybeifIwaitlongenough,I’llhave AfullSeagullworthoffeatherstoreconsume.

Ihaveanotherconfession:IthinktheSeagullswantrevenge Idon’tlivenearanoceanorariveroralake,butI’mpullingchicks

Outofmysockseverymorning,andlastnightamobofSeagulls AttackedmewhenIopenedthepantry.

Evennow,asIwritethispoem,thirtySeagullssitbelowmyfeet Slicingmyankleswiththeirbeaks.Atalleronenickedthefat Onmythigh.IgnorethebloodandI’minamassagechair Theirbeaksagainstmyback,bitingbitingbitingbiting

Okay,sothere’sathirdconfession:I’mtheonelookingfortheSeagulls.

I’mthedirtybitchwho’sturningupthecouchcushionsandrooting Aroundinthecrackforawingtoyank SueapoetforembellishingaSeagullortwo I’vestilleatenfourSeagulls.That’sfourmoreSeagullsthanyou.

Everyonewantstogorgeondeath.Everyonewantstocoughupfeathers Thenpretendliketheirneckdidn’tspasm.Everyonewantswingstosputter Toadead-enginehaltintheirstomach,sotheycanknowwhatit’sliketobeontheprecipice

REMAINSOFANUNFINISHEDSTORY

MinLee

TEARME apart ANDWHENITSEESMYENTRAILS LETITKNOW THE SCARSBURNNOT HALFASBRIGHTASTHEBODY

IDIDNOTCRYTHATNIGHT IKNEW BECAUSEITWASNOT KNOWLEDGETHATMADEME TREMBLEBUTSTRENGTH

ITWASYOU WHOCARVEDME TOMOLDME MAN DIDISOLICIT THEE FROMDARKNESS TODEFINEME BYEXCISION NOTMYLIVER BUTMYHEART WASITSFEAST ENOUGHTOSATE THEMASSES WHO KNEW WHATTHEYWEREEATING

SOLETMESWEAR ONMYTWICE-HOLYDOUBLECROSS LEFTTOROTIN HERE TOSPARE MYLIFEISNOMERCYBUTAPLEA BARGAINFORYOUR HEAVYSOUL TOLEAVE LIKETHEYEARS SINCEYOUJOINED YOUR GHOSTS KNOWGOODBYE

IKNOWWHOIAMBUTNOTWHERE YOUARE INANABSTRACTSENSE ASENSEOFWONDEROFAWEEVEN THOUGHIWISHNOT TOSENSEYOUAT ALL ISTILLKNOWWHO YOUWERE HOPINGTHATYOURWILL COMESTOPASS

ANAMETHATCANBE SOLITTLETOSEE CANSTILL LASTINMYMIND AWHILE SINCEFIVEYEARSYOUNG IREADTOOCLOSETOTHESUN ANDDECIDEDTHAT ICOULDWRITE ATALETHATWASN'TMINETOTELL BUTITOLDIT THELIEWASN'TBITTER JUSTTHEMEMORIES

Untitled BeatriceWhite

I’veneverbeentheCoolGirl, theonewithherhighlightedhair andvictoria'ssecretthongs, shesmellsofpeachesandsummertime andIbetifIkissedthecreaseatherhips she’dtastelikeittoo.

I’veneverbeentheCoolGirl, theGo-EasyGirl, thegirlwhogavemearidehome inhercinnamonstickcar withherbubblegumbraidsand mintMacekeychain.

I’veneverbeentheCoolGirl, withherBurt'sbeeschaichapstick andpressonfrenchtips, andMaybethat’swhyIchewmylips andtugattornngernails, maybethat'swhyIletmen fondlemeatfourteen, hisbutterscotchbreath andthehickeysonmychest mademefeelliketheCoolGirl, TheGo-EasyGirl, thegirlwhogavemearidehome inhercinnamonstickcar, butamanandhisstickyhands

don’tmakeyoutheCoolGirl.

I’veneverbeentheCoolGirl, andmaybethat’swhyIbought platformDocMarten’sanddyed myhairwithboxdyefromSally’s, maybethat’swhyIcameoutat17 whenI’vebeenqueersince7thgrade, andquestionedifIwastryingtobe adierenttypeofCoolGirl, TheGayGirl,theGraveGirl, Withherboneyardofmaleexes Andcodependentfemalefriendships.

I’veneverbeentheCoolGirl, andmaybethat’swhyI satinthefrontseatofa2007Acura andtoldyouIlovedyou threeweeksafterwekissed. andmaybethat’swhyIsat inthebackofMcDonald’sjustto spendveminuteswithyou, maybethat'swhyIcouldnothide orcaretohidehowmybody convulseswhenyouwhispermyname likeitisonlyyourstosay

I’veneverbeentheCoolGirl, andmaybethat’swhyit’sbeen 497daysoflovingyoupublicly andmanymoreoflovingyousecretly

andIknownowthatIdonothave commitmentissues;Iwasjust Waitingtocommittoyou

I’veneverbeentheCoolGirl, butIhavebeenYourGirl, andthat’smorethanenoughforme

underOctoberSun

RachelMaxwell

IthoughtIhadmyngers

Firmlyplantedonyourtenderedges, Balanced,likeapeninbetweenmyteeth

AsIputbothhandstoanothertask

Atactile,eetinglyurgentadventure.

Mypitchcentered,vowelschoral, Tongueickingup,up,andout (ShhI’mconcentrating,Isaywithagrin).

Ithoughtyouwouldcatch theexactmoment, Feeltheshift

Seetheair

Stretchandyawn

Likeasmilethatbeginsdeepinyourchest

Andndsahomeinyoureyes.

Ifeelmymusclesaching, Asorangedrawscirclesonyourgreenpalm Andrunsherngersthroughyourhair.

She’spartofyou,butthoroughlyherself

Andmybodywantstolosecontrolandfall

Andyandyellandcry

YESyesyes!!

Messilyandjoyously, Ilayinaweofyourresolution

Becauseyoucamerstandwillleaverst,too

SoIwhisper

Iknow

thatIdon’thavetowaitanymore

Iknow

thatIwanttoseeyoufromeveryangle

Iknow

thatIwanttocaptureallIcanandleavetherest

Forthestarvingmoss-moistenedEarth.

Iknow

thatyou’dletmeswallowyouwhole

Orburyyouundercracked,goldenleaves

Untilyouturntodust.

ButIwait

Becausewaitingisstillthebestpart

IamaFishInsideaBirdcage

ClaireC.

Iamashinsideabirdcage

Mybrotheralwayssingsmesongs

IusedtowishIcouldsingtoobut

WithgillsnottrillsIsoundwrong

Iamashinsideabirdcage

Mybrotherteachesmetoy

NotunderstandingIcan'tjoinhim

Despitehowhardwebothmaytry

Iamashinsideabirdcage

Iaskmybrotherwhathesees

Whenhegoesyingowithoutme

Andgetstodanceamongthetrees

Iamashinsideabirdcage

Dependonhimforlifeandlimb

Meandmybrothercagedbywires

Orisitmewho'scaginghim

Note:Thispoemwaspartiallyinspiredbythesong“Rule#4-FishinaBirdcage”fromtheartistFish inaBirdcage

AGorgonGaveaGlimpseofVengeance AzhanéPollard

Tothosewhoseektoenforcecalamityuponmybody, Idonotknowwhatwillhappentoyourhands. Iwantyoutofaceyourpalmstowardsthesky

Togetagoodlook,torememberthefeeling Ofmyselfrestingonyourngertips Andunderyoursoakenandimsyngernails

To rememberwhatyouhavedone, TorealizethewrathofAthenawas Yourfault.

Toneverforgetwhatyoumade amonster Mylocslooklikeaniterationofherstory, Asongofsnakessitting,waitingfor

Thenextaggressor. Totransgress, Toconquer, Tobethecatalystofdestruction, Tobethecauseofthenextmonstrouscreation. Youmadeuslikethis.

Idonotknowherormyselfasavillainoravictim Iremember herasmysisterinchaos, Carefulbutcalculated

Lookatme. Lookatme.

Swallowtail

Palinurus

Butteriesmadeahabitofdying

Onthelawnofmychildhoodhome

Iwon’teverknowwhyitwasthattheychose

Theretofalloutofthesky

Andshatteronthegrassbelow

Itwastigerswallowtailsthatdiditmost.

Whenautumncame,theirwingswouldmingle

Withthefallenleaves,andwewouldsteponthem

Tohearthecrunch

ItwasinthosedaysthatIconsideredmyself

Asanartist/scientistintheeldofdeath, AndIwouldgatherthebutteriesandsuspendthem

Bysewingpinsthroughtheirwings

Aboveacutoutsquareofcorkboard.

Idon’tpretendnottoseethemorbidity

Ofmyeightyearoldselfattempting

Amateurtaxidermyondeadswallowtails, ButIwillnotbeashamedofher.

Welearnedagoodmanythingsfromthemthere

Ontheirpaintedsquaresofcorkboard

Like:becarefulwiththeirwingsorthescaleswillcomeo

Inasmudgeofsomethinglikepixiedust

Or:howtolookinthemirror

Thebutteriestaughtmethereisnosuchthing

Intheendasstrength,fordeathis

Paperthinandspearedthroughwithmetal, Colorsrubbingolikepixiedust.

Andwhenyousteponit,Deathcrunchesunderfoot.

Forgetfulfalling

S Lombardo

Iwanttoforgettofallagain

Intobluesandredsandpurples

Irises,flowers,yours,mine Bodyleavingmindto Somersaultintolakes

Withonlywaterrushing

Creatingacottoncandystatic Bodyoutlinesdisappear

Andyet,wearebothstillhere

Feelingtheweatheredearth

Andtheweightofagedwater

Wavingatfishfloatingby Stayingsubmergeduntilourlungscry

Andwhenwedoemerge

Thesuncastsrainbowsonourdryingskin

Asourbodiesarerestored

Allfearsfromformerfallsareheard

Butdon’tholdusdownanymore.

GhazalforDeadFish

NoraJenkins

WhenyouwerealittlegirlGodwasstillyourgrandfather; yourdeaddoghadahalo.Credoindeum.

Youlovedthekoipondtuckedagainstthechapelwall; theshswamslowcirclesasthewaterfallmurmuredcredoindeum.

Yourpenancewastightmaryjanesandsittingstill; yourmother’spridesustainedyou,soyousaidcredoindeum

YoubrushyourteethwhileyourbrotherstopsbelievinginGod; atnightyoucoughupbileandbreadcrumbsandcredoindeum-

Youlostthesilvercrossyourunclegaveyouwhenyouwereborn butnotthewoodenonefromNana’sfuneral.Credoindeum.

Theshfromthechurchponddon’tsurvivethewinter. InMarchyourmothercrieswhenshesayscredoindeum

Namelessparishionerssaytheycanfeelyourbrother’sghost Thereisnothirdday;thewordsarecorpsesinyourmouth:credoindeum.

Yourbrotherisinabox;yourdeaddogisinthegarden; Grandparotsagainstthechapelwall;spiritussancti

Thegirlbetweenyourlegsuttersyournamelikeaprayer. Feverstate;roundthree;Nora,God-

You:theghostparishionerwhocannotsayOurFather.

Theshlaydead.Youswallowedthecorpsesyearsago. JúdicaDómine.