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This is the last Pub Notes of the year and the last Pub Notes to be published from the old building at 112 Foundry St., which has been Flagpole’s home for 20 years. We moved down here in the fall of 1993, and now, at the end of December 2013, we’re moving to our new home at 220 Prince Ave. Twenty-year milestones are scary, especially when they’re combined with changing from the old year to the new and from old to new premises. We’re forced to reflect on so much time passed, so many friends here and gone. We’re also forced to look ahead. Yikes! What will the next 20 years bring? Will you be reading Pub Notes on your inner eyelid by then, beamed there by satellite from the roof of 220 Prince Ave.? Blink to turn the page? Don’t laugh. When we moved down here, we were not far removed from composing Flagpole on two little Mac Plus computers and enlarging photographs on a giant copy camera in the basement. (We moved it in my pickup, and it took six people to wrestle it into the building.) We were pasting up the paper by hand and driving the pages down to Greater Georgia Printers, in Crawford, GA. They’re still printing Flagpole, but now the paper is composed entirely by computer and transmitted to Greater Georgia by email. Will we still be printing Flagpole on paper in 20 years? Most people would guess not, but so far, even our readers who read us online still like to have the paper version to flip through, to read with their coffee, to hold and turn to the familiar sections, to get their fix, to keep it on the coffee table for reference. The fact that Flagpole is both weekly and free has proven advantageous. Our weekly paper is a package of insight and information that can be read at a leisurely pace or consulted for daily updates about what’s happening in Athens. Our online Flagpole keeps you instantly informed on 112 Foundry St. painted by D.M. Kirwin. important local news and also has all the information of the print edition available on your computer, tablet or phone. So you get the best of both platforms—a ubiquitous presence in Athens in hand and/or onscreen, and, since both are free, you don’t have to choose between them but just use either as the need arises. Just as Flagpole is always changing, though it may take a 20-year milestone to see just how much, so Athens changes, too. When we moved down to Foundry Street, this was a deserted end of town. Armstrong and Dobbs was a thriving lumber company. The Farmer’s Exchange was Farmer’s Hardware; there was a feed mill instead of the multimodal center. The university hadn’t even moved its physical plant to the Chicopee complex, and there were no high-rise student apartments along East Broad Street, so the only traffic down here was folks heading back and forth home to East Athens across the river. Shopping was downtown, in Five Points, at Beechwood and on the Atlanta Highway; the Epps Bridge Road complex was a cow pasture, Caterpillar hadn’t thought of moving to Georgia to avoid unions and the Navy School was a fixture, even without an ocean. We predict the future by extrapolating from the present and trying to adjust. People will continue to want information about what is going on. We’ll continue to provide that information. Businesses will continue to want to tell people about their goods and services. We will help them. How much all of this is in the paper and how much online or through other means is yet to be determined. We just know that we’ll be in the mix, scrambling to find the best methods to inform our readers and boost our advertisers. That’s what we’ve been doing for 20 years, and that’s what we anticipate doing for the next two decades and beyond. The new year will find us in our new offices, eager to continue serving Athens and happy to be here. Pete McCommons editor@flagpole.com

ATHENS’ FAVORITE

from the blogs ďˆż We’re gonna be pretty quiet (read: drunk) during the holiday break and office move. Why don’t you take a walk down memory lane by browsing through our blog and feature archives at flagpole.com? Then, email music@flagpole.com with your favorite (or least favorite) Flagpole story of 2013 by Friday, Jan. 3.

athens power rankings: DEC. 23–JAN. 5 1. Two Men and a Truck ďˆą 2. Jared Bailey 3. New Madrid 4. Olive Ann Burns, Mary Hood, Alfred Uhry 5. Hutson Mason

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city dope Broun Votes Against Cancer Research The money is much-needed, he said. Only 4 percent of the National Cancer Institute’s research budget goes toward pediatric cancer, and that’s spread among just 12 families. “The advancements are coming at an incredibly slow pace, due to the extreme lack of funding,� Russell said. Jake is being treated with five drugs that are all at least 30 years old, and they’re the best ones available, he said. Fortunately, Jake’s prognosis is “favorable,� Russell said. He responded well to chemotherapy and is learning to walk again after most of his tibia (in the lower leg) was removed in February and replaced with a cadaver bone. Others, though, are not so lucky. Cancer kills 1,545 children a year in the U.S. “It is just unfortunate that our children have such a small voice in Washington,� Russell said. “I guess the reality is that Jake and others like him don’t vote.� Pete McCommons

The Gabrella Miller Kids First Research Act, named for a nine-year-old with an inoperable brain tumor, would provide $126 million in funding for pediatric research over 10 years. The bill, sponsored by Rep. Gregg Harper (R-MS) and highlighted by House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) and Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) as an example of good bipartisan legislation, passed the House 295-102 on Dec. 11. Rep. Paul Broun (R-Athens) was the lone Republican to oppose it. His vote angered one of his constituents, Randy Russell, a University of Georgia employee who lives in Walton County, and rightfully so. His four-year-old son, Jake, has Ewing’s sarcoma, a rare bone cancer. Russell said he wrote to Broun asking him to support the bill and received a form letter in response. Broun then called to apologize and say he’d do what he could. They even prayed together on the phone, Russell said. Compounding the insult, from Russell’s point of view, is that Broun is a member of the congressional Childhood Cancer Caucus, whose mission is to “advocate in support of measures to prevent the pain, suffering and long-term effects of childhood cancers, and work toward the goal of eliminating cancer as a threat to all children,� according to its website. Russell has a different definition: “a feel-good panel that gives lip service to parents and activists.� One of Broun’s staffers explained to Russell that “while Dr. Broun supported the cause of the bill, he did not believe this was the right way to accomplish this mission,� press secretary Christine Hardman told Flagpole. Broun took issue with the funding mechanism— redirecting revenue from a check-off box on tax returns that now finances presidential campaigns—because there’s no guarantee the funding wouldn’t one day be earmarked for some other “cause of the day,� which Hardman called “essentially fraud.� Russell, for his part, said he can’t see any kind of back door that would allow the funds to go anywhere else.

Recreation Program Division Administrator Myla Neal reprimanded her for being “argumentative� and “combative.� Flint said she was given a “task list� to complete and began working on that as she was helping to open the new tennis center. “We were told on [Nov. 15] we were to open the tennis center,� she said. “We kind of wanted two more weeks. We got the [certificate of occupancy] on the 15th, which meant I could move our stuff in. They said, ‘OK, we’re opening on Monday.’ Well, that happened

Kilpatrick said. “We want children’s programming, we want adult programming, we want [the Clarke-Oconee Tennis Association] to set up their leagues,� he said. “That plan has not changed.� While he couldn’t comment directly on Flint’s firing, “there’s always a lot of issues that lead into a larger issue,� he said. Pat Sebring, athletic supervisor in charge of youth sports and facility supervisor for Southeast Clarke Park, said she hopes to fill the position by early February. “I feel bad,� Flint said. “I was really comfortable, and I loved that little place and I watched it grow. It was just so exciting watching that new place come together, but things happen. I’m moving on.� [Kristen Morales]

New Year’s Resolutions: Since this issue went to press before Jesus turned 2,014, I don’t know what St. Nick brought our mayor and commission. But I did ask them what their New Year’s resolutions are, and the answers are below. Nancy Denson: Get elected mayor. Doug Lowry: DEATH TO SOLID WASTE! Harry Sims: Don’t get talked into running for commission again. George Maxwell: Convince these fools in Boulevard to call me instead of trying to email or Twitbookgram or whatever. Don’t Tennis Instructor Fired: they know I’m 75? Now that Athens-Clarke County’s Allison Wright: DEATH TO THE shiny new tennis center is finally CLASSIC CENTER SKATING RINK! open, it’s also looking for a new Jared Bailey: Get elected tennis coordinator to run it. mayor? Again. Jerry NeSmith: DEATH TO THE Less than a year after TENNIS CENTER! being hired as ACC’s new tenKathy Hoard: Maybe save a Since his sled can’t land on the dome, Santa devised this method to get to the City nis instructor—replacing the historic building or two for a Hall chimney. privately-run Tennis for Life change before I’m outta here. program—the Leisure Services Andy Herod: #$&!# Department dismissed Ann Flint on Dec. 6. about three weeks ago. The next thing I know, Kelly Girtz: Free bus rides and/or bring While her bosses won’t go into detail, Flint on the sixth of December, Myla comes in and Uber to Athens. said she felt set up to fail from the start. says I’m terminated.� Mike Hamby: Since downtown is the new Hired to run tennis programs at the The change doesn’t affect the larger goal mall, turn Atlanta Highway into the new new Southeast Clarke Park facility—which of the tennis center, which is to provide prodowntown. opened eight months behind schedule—Flint gramming to a range of ages and abilities, said trouble began brewing this fall, when Internal Services Division Administrator Kent Blake Aued news@flagpole.com

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capitol impact The Face of Food Stamps I try to remain cheerful during the holiday season, but it isn’t easy when you’re reminded how tough things are for so many people. I heard from a newspaper colleague in South Georgia last week who’s trying to raise five kids as a single mother and decided to request assistance through the food stamp program. “Three weeks ago, I swallowed my pride and applied for food stamps,� she recounted. “This was VERY hard for me to do, especially because of my position in the community.� The food stamp program is administered by the state’s Division of Family and Children Services (DFACS). My colleague attempted to sign up for the program online, but ran into frustrating glitches with the computer system and was unable to get through on the agency’s telephone line. “Finally, about a week later, I went to the local office [which is only open three days a week due to budget cuts] and explained the problem,� she said. “The receptionist had me write the correct information down and assured she would send it on.� But she was still unable to contact anyone by telephone to set up an interview, so she made yet another visit to the local DFACS office and was finally told by an employee, “I’m sorry, ma’am, there is nothing we can do.� She was luckier than many people. Being in the newspaper business, she at least knew the name of her local legislator, so he’s trying to help her get the situation straightened out. Even if she is able to sign up for food stamps, the assistance may not last very long. On Oct. 31, food stamp benefits were cut by 5 percent, reducing the average benefit from $1.50 per person per meal to $1.40. Those benefits could be cut even more by Congress. For families that rely on food stamps, it won’t be a very merry season. The same goes for nearly 43,000 laid-off workers who are receiving emergency federal

jobless benefits. On Dec. 28, three days after Christmas, these federal benefits will terminate because the two parties in Congress haven’t been able to agree on extending them. Georgia once paid up to 26 weeks of benefits to jobless workers, but legislators cut that back to a maximum of 20 weeks and the payments could be as short as 14 weeks. We are one of the stingiest states when it comes to helping the unemployed. There are still many people, especially older workers, who are struggling to find employment as the state progresses through the worst economic downturn since the great depression. The federal jobless benefits helped some people keep body and soul together, but those payments will soon cease. I called the Georgia Labor Department and asked if there was any assistance the state might be able to provide to these unemployed workers when the federal benefits run out. “There is no program in the state Department of Labor to help them,� an agency spokesman said. It’s a bleak picture and it’s getting bleaker. The Georgia Budget & Policy Institute released this assessment of the economic situation in our state: “Poverty in Georgia worsened since the beginning of the recovery. Georgia is now the sixth poorest state in the nation, with its current poverty rate the highest it has been since 1982. More than 19 percent of Georgians, or 1.8 million adults and children, lived in poverty in 2012, compared to about 18 percent in 2010. Nearly 160,000 more people lived in poverty in Georgia in 2012 than in 2010.� As we’ve noted in this space before, our governments are happy to spend tax dollars to build stadiums for the billionaires who own professional sports franchises. But to help our poorest citizens? Sorry, you’re on your own. Tom Crawford tcrawford@gareport.com

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Bowl-Bound and Down Flagpole’s UGA Postseason Preview

A

Nebraska, as usual, is a running team, racking up 2,660 yards on the ground this season, including 1,568 by junior Ameer Abdullah alone. Georgia’s run defense, meanwhile, is actually pretty good, giving up 148 yards per game, 42nd out of 123 Division 1 teams. (They were torched for 323 rushing yards by Auburn and 263 by Georgia Tech, but in both cases actually held those teams below their season averages.) Meanwhile, there are rumors that Bo Pelini is fighting for his job. The underachieving Husker coach spent the 2013 season engaging in a bunch of weirdly aggressive post-game pressers and defending himself against a leaked audio tape in which he railed against Nebraska fans, calling them “fucking fair-weather.” The program is, frankly, kind of a mess right now.

fter the emotional roller coaster that was the Dawgs’ 2013 season, fans might be forgiven if they’ve checked out. But Georgia has one game left, and pride, if not the national championship we all hoped for, is on the line. Besides, what else are you going to do with a champagne hangover on New Year’s Day, other than camp out on the couch and watch football while quietly cursing yourself? Champagne hangovers are literally THE WORST. Anyway, without further ado, here’s Flagpole’s Bulldog bowl preview, featuring, once again, your fake made-up questions. Sean Taylor / UGA Athletic Association

What a crappy season.

Wait, that’s not even a question, but yeah. Not to relive every agonizing moment here, but the Dawgs, who started the year as national title contenders—remember that?—lost to Clemson in the season opener, needed Yeah, definitely. Wait, what was overtime to beat pitiful Tennessee and that horrible popping sound? Oh, no. lost back-to-back games to eventual Do we even have a third-string quarSEC East champ Missouri (excusable) terback? (A quick look at the roster and lowly Vanderbilt (not). And don’t reveals that we do, in fact, have a even get us started on that ridiculous few more QBs to turn to in such a Auburn game. Has anyone seen safety situation, God forbid. One of them Josh Harvey-Clemons lately? He might is named Faton Bauta, which, come be in witness protection, or living in on, that is barely even a name. Does Africa with Jim Morrison, 2Pac and Hines Ward have any eligibility left?) Collin Barber. DAMN IT COLLIN. In short, NFL-bound senior quarterback Aaron Murray’s magnificence Not that we condone gambling couldn’t overcome a rash of injuries, (OK, we totally condone gambling), a mediocre defense and utter incombut Vegas favors the Bulldogs by 9.5 petence on special teams. It wasn’t points, and the over/under is 55. all bad, though. The Dawgs beat Steve While we think Georgia will win, if, Spurrier’s South Carolina squad. ESPN’s Hutson Mason’s New Year’s resolutions: win a bowl game and get Flagpole to spell his name right. HYPOTHETICALLY, we were to bet on “College GameDay” came to Athens the game, we’d take the over and Nebraska to cover the spread. More interesting: How many for a huge win over LSU. And Georgia beat forever-rivals Florida and Georgia Tech—the latter in times will the cameras catch Pelini saying “fuck” in his inevitable series of sideline meltdowns? double overtime—and for a few moments, all was right with the world. Flagpole Vegas puts the O/U at 12.

So, we’re gonna win?

What’s the line?

So, what bowl is Georgia going to?

Let’s talk offseason. Any pro prospects?

The uber-aggressively named TAXSLAYER.com Gator Bowl in beautiful Jacksonville, FL, at noon o’clock Wednesday, Jan. 1. They play Nebraska.

Wait, really? Again?

What channel is it on?

ESPN2 (“The Dos”). That’s 33 (or 721 for sweet, sweet HD) if you’ve got Charter.

Who’s this Mason Hudson guy under center?

Uh, you mean Hutson Mason, but fair mistake. He’s Murray’s career-long backup and the likely starter next season (shades of Joe Tereshinski). The junior from Marietta filled in admirably after Murray tore his ACL versus Kentucky, completing 46 of 71 passes for 648 yards, four touchdowns and two interceptions.

Well, that’s good news, I guess. Doesn’t it seem like everybody’s hurt?

Everybody hurts, sometimes. In addition to Murray, tailback Keith Marshall and receivers Malcolm Mitchell and Justin Scott-Wesley (what’s with all the multiple-first-named players these days?) are out for the year, all with knee injuries. Are all knees secretly Florida fans or something? At times this season, it felt like the Bulldogs ought to play at Athens Regional.

Back to Nebraska. Are they any good?

Eh. Not really. They went 8-4 this season, but they play in the B1G, or Big Ten (which actually has 12 teams), a conference whose champion, Michigan State, would probably be the fourth- or fifth-best team in the SEC. (Yeah, we said it.) The Cornhuskers only played two ranked opponents—UCLA and the aforementioned Spartans—and lost to both. Georgia is ranked No. 22.

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014

Chris Conley / Twitter

Yep. Good memory. Georgia slayed the Cornhuskers 45-31 in the Capital One Bowl last January.

Well, Murray, obvs. But because of his injury, he won’t be able to try out for scouts at the NFL combine in February, another bit of terrible luck for the nicest QB in the biz. Still, expect him to be a steal for some lucky squad as a middle-to-late-round pick. Senior tight end Arthur Lynch is another draft prospect, as is defensive end Garrison Smith. Other than that, the Dawgs are short on proready talent. Mitchell, who missed most of the season, was widely expected to bolt, but the lack of playing time means he will apply for a medical redshirt instead and return for 2014. That’s good news for Dawgs fans. More good news: Sophomore running backs Todd Gurley and Marshall and receivers Chris Conley and Michael Bennett will also be back, meaning Hatson Muttson won’t have to shoulder all of the offensive load in his first (and only) starting year.

How are we looking next year?

Not too shabby. Coach Mark Richt has commitments from about a dozen highly-rated recruits in 2014, including South Carolina’s Mr. Football Jacob Park, who will compete with redshirt freshman Brice Ramsey to be the quarterback of the future. But the star of the class is likely Sony Michel, ranked by Rivals.com as Like any true Jedi, Chris Conley made his own the third-best high school running back in the lightsaber. country. Assuming defensive coordinator Todd Grantham gets his act together (if not, we hear Will Muschamp is available) and Richt FINALLY hires a special-teams coach, the program looks like it’s in good hands for several years to come. Oh yeah, and we have Chris Conley’s epic Star Wars lightsaber duel to look forward to! Help us, Conley-Wan. You’re our only hope. Blake Aued and Gabe Vodicka


Athens’ Favorite Musical Moments of 2013 T his is the second installment in Flagpole’s series of yearend music coverage. (We will conclude in the Jan. 8 issue with our Top 10 albums list). For this feature, we asked a selection of local musicians and scene supporters to recount their favorite moments in Athens music this year. Some responses have been edited for space.

Space Trucks at CloudFest

Great music docs at Ciné: Searching for Sugar Man, Muscle Shoals and James Booker [Bayou Maharajah]. Jim Willingham (Old Smokey) Even tectonic plates need a nudge now and then, and this year I felt a shift at the Go Bar, hearing Grant Evans conjure 20 minutes of pure sound-avalanche, narrative without glossia, a murmur, a shudder, a ghost. Don Chambers When Burns Like Fire played the rooftop of the Georgia Theatre with Less Than Jake and Anti-Flag; the three-day festival at Max featuring all of Jay Rodgers’ bands for his birthday; this year’s Athens Intensified, featuring the bassist from The Smiths; Monsoon; Television; and Jimmy Eat World. Josh Smith (Burns Like Fire) murk daddy flex opening up for DJ Shadow at the Georgia Theatre. 2013 was a breakout year for mdf, and it was awesome seeing one of WUOG’s own get an opportunity like that, backed by some solid MCs in Athens newcomer JuBee and HHHS’s resident MC, Mic-Audio, and members of the WU on the front line supporting him. Definitely a family affair. Akeeme Martin (WUOG)

Murk Daddy Flex at the Georgia Theatre Dancing to The Smiths with DJ Andy Rourke at Athens Intensified. Dan Geller (Twin Powers)

The emergence of Monsoon. They have more fun and enthusiasm about being in a band than I have had in a long, long time, and it made me want to have it again. Joel Hatstat

I missed a lot of events, living far beyond the city limits, but did manage to attend the Cloud Recordings Festival. Big Bad John Fernandes lovingly stitched together the local acts in a tapestry that was fun for all and all for fun. Here’s to hoping next year is extra cloudy. Zeke Sayer (The HUMMS)

It’s not a moment, but a movement, changing the face of the music community. Like always, there were many great moments in the Athens music community, but none were closer to my heart than hip hop gaining momentum and getting more (although still not enough) respect. For the first time in many years, hip hop in Athens is booming. From the pop mainstream to

The Our New Silence performance at the world-class Hugh Hodgson Hall in March brought together musicians of all types, from classical to indie rock. We all had the opportunity to compose original pieces using Kai Reidl’s and Suny Lyons’ Javasounds as inspiration, both musically and spiritually. Powerkompany

Josh Evans at the Flagpole  Athens Music Awards Show

Mercer [West] booked an Athens-invades-Atlanta show at Star Bar in February with seven Athens bands. It really was an Athens party all night long… in Atlanta! [It was] memorable for us, because they stuck The Rodney Kings/Sad Dads downstairs while everybody else played on the stage upstairs. We felt like we finally made it in the big city in that little basement. Max Wang (The Rodney Kings)

into the mix. Life just keeps getting peachier. It’s strange how one simple act can start a snowball of events rolling, and for that aspect of the Athens music scene I am most grateful. Nate Mitchell

Three shows in the span of three weeks: Neutral Milk Hotel, Television, Peter Buck. This being my first full year as a parent, I’d really lost touch with many friends. Happily, I saw just about every one of them at (at least) one of those magical shows. Bill Benson (Team Clermont)

Sad Dads at AthFest was honestly one of the funnest, liveliest shows I’ve ever been to. Was it the sweat fumes radiating off of Athens’ better half that made me feel like I was experiencing something personal between dad and audience? Possibly. Or maybe the fact everyone (band, beer, buds) were all in unison singing the band’s happy anthem, “SAD DADS!” Sienna Chandler (Monsoon)

Shit! Where is my phone? Must video awesome band Wait, where did they go?

Muuy Biien’s Josh Evans’ multiple disruptions at the Flagpole Athens Music Awards. Mike Turner (HHBTM)

Lefty Hathaway

Mike White · deadlydesigns.com

Mike White · deadlydesigns.com

I was on duty at Wuxtry Records in late spring when this unkempt gangly dude thrust a CD-R into my hands but then immediately split, leaving me pondering his offering. After popping the disc in the store player, I was blown away by five balls-out, primitive garage-punk tunes. I noticed a phone number (not a website address or Bandcamp or Soundcloud, but a phone number) on the disc and decided to call it. The voice on the other end was Scott, who had dropped off the demo. Shortly thereafter I met the other Free Associates, Tim and Larry. I had several years’ worth of demo songs I’d recorded, so Scott, Tim and Larry quickly became my backing band, and we started playing out as Nate and the Nightmares. The same group of guys also played ‘50s and ‘60s cover songs under the name Swag Dick Cats. I started learning those songs as well, and the next thing I knew we incorporated Jeff Walls

original sounds coming from the underground, I enjoyed more hip hop shows this year than I have in a very long time. Thank you, Classic City, and stay tuned—we haven’t really even gotten started yet. Montu Miller

DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM

7


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always, there are a host of options for music in Athens on New Year’s Eve. Below are Flagpole’s picks for the best bottle-poppin’ options on Tuesday, Dec. 31. Whether that bottle is Dom Perignon or Miller High Life—well, fella, that’s up to you.

Gro/Conscious, JuBee and the Morning After, Squisch, Andy Bruh, Robbie Dude

New Earth Athens ¡ 8 p.m. ¡ $10 The most eclectic of all the New Year’s Eve shows takes place on Hull Street, where Latinjazz supergroup Grogus will team up with dub-reggae collective DubConscious for a set of worldly grooves. Funk-forward Athens transplants JuBee and the Morning After will offer up a set of their energetic, intelligent tunes, and experimental-minded rockers Squisch will jam the night away. In between and after the bands, a couple of #CrushTeam’s finest DJs, Andy Bruh and Robbie Dude, will fill the dance floor with the high-octane beats they’re known and loved for. This one is a no-brainer. Go on and lose your brain.

DJ Mahogany, DJ Easy Rider

Little Kings Shuffle Club ¡ 10 p.m. ¡ FREE! Ain’t no party like a Mahogany party, ‘cause a Mahogany party—well, it’s a Mahogany party. No other DJ in town is as adept on the ones and twos in terms of providing something for everyone. But that doesn’t mean you’ll get middle-of-the-road. Mahogany, who will be joined by partner-in-rhyme Easy Rider, crosses cultures and blurs lines with reckless abandon, segueing old-school funk into midschool electro-pop into bassed-out nu-skool hip hop jams into, I dunno, Lorde or something. Point is, you’re gonna hear something you like and can’t even slightly resist singing along to. And isn’t that really what you’re looking for on New Year’s Eve?

Bacharach to the Future, Coombsbot, Dirty Mind, DJs Twin Powers & Z-Dog

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Go Bar ¡ 10 p.m. ¡ FREE! If you’re a fan of The Artist, there is no place to be on the 31st except Go Bar. The dudes that make up local Prince tribute act Dirty Mind—members of Bubbly Mommy Gun, The Dream Scene and Half Acid—sure love His Royal Badness, and they will let their fandom flags fly high with a set of slightly askew covers spanning The Purple One’s legendary career. If you’re a fan of Burt Bacharach—and, let’s be honest, who isn’t?—you can rest easy knowing his catalog will also be celebrated, by oddball outfit Bacharach to the Future. Twin Powers and Z-Dog will fill your heart with joy with a set of pop-centric party tunes.

The Whigs, New Madrid, Velveteen Pink

Georgia Theatre ¡ 8 p.m. ¡ $17.50 There’s no better option for rock and roll fun this Dec. 31, as the boys are back in

town and playing the Georgia Theatre. Now based in Nashville, onetime local upstarts The Whigs are still riding a wave of success spawned by last year’s LP Enjoy the Company. Interestingly, though, it’s opener New Madrid that is poised to draw the most fervent crowd; the 2013 Flagpole Athens Music Awards Artist of the Year’s upcoming record, Sunswimmer, is already gaining momentum, garnering early buzz from Pitchfork and other such tastemaking outlets. Meanwhile, Velveteen Pink’s cheeky blend of electro-tech-rock is never not a blast.

Radiolucent, The Higher Choir

40 Watt Club ¡ 9 p.m. ¡ $11 Southern rock reigns and rings in 2014 at the 40 Watt, and it’s sure to be a celebration: the Athens-area boys in Radiolucent serve up the sort of full-on, uncomplicated rock and roll blast that makes for a perfect drinkin’ soundtrack. Last year’s Turn Me On and Turn Me Loose proved that the ‘Lucent crew could hang with any current radio-rockers out there. If there’s any semblance of justice in the world, the band’s music will reach hundreds of thousands of ears before too long. Get in on the ground floor by being one of a few hundred to have heard it first.

The Dirty Disney New Year’s Eve Ball

Caledonia Lounge ¡ 9:30 p.m. ¡ $5 (21+), $7 (18–20) Local promotions agency Handpicked Artists Presents wins the prize for the secondmost wide-ranging lineup of NYE. Whether it’s the full-band hip hop of longtime Athens favorite Showtime, the ska-inflected roots rhythms of Lowdive, the operatic alt-rootsrock of Dangfly! or the acoustic soul of Scott Low and the Southern Bouillon, you’re bound to find something (or many things) you like at the cozy Caledonia. Whether the curious title of the event represents an encouraged dress code or is nothing more than playful inanity is anybody’s guess.

The Swingin’ Medallions, The Mob Correllis Trio

Melting Point ¡ 7 p.m. ¡ $50 (show), $100 (show & dinner) A New Year’s Eve event for the more, erm, mature partiers among us, long-running regional pop outfit The Swingin’ Medallions (once dubbed by Lewis Grizzard as “The Party Band of the Southâ€?) will settle in for an evening of standards, including the group’s beloved 1966 hit “Double Shot of My Baby’s Love.â€? The funky, jazz-inspired Mob Correllis Trio will open the show, and several VIP ticket packages, which include dinner and a room at the adjoining Foundry Park Inn, are available for purchase if you’re feeling frisky (or just wanna be safe). Gabe Vodicka

JuBee and the Morning After photo by Mike White

Flagpole’s New Year’s Eve Concert Guide () 1", ,


movie dope Some releases may not be showing locally this week. • indicates new review • AMERICAN HUSTLE (R) Since 2004’s disappointing I Heart Huckabees, from which his on-set meltdown went viral, David O. Russell has been on fire. Could his latest film be his greatest yet? Yes; it’s certainly possible. A fictional account of the real life ABSCAM investigation that sent several members of federal, state and local government to prison, American Hustle, already nominated for seven Golden Globes, is set to rake in more nominations. Conman Irving Rosenfeld (a near unrecognizable Christian Bale) and his not exactly British girlfriend, Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams), are forced by an unstable FBI agent, Richie DiMaso (a sweetly permed Bradley Cooper), into conning the mayor of Camden, New Jersey, Carmine Polito (Jeremy Renner), and some of the scariest mobsters still living (enjoy the uncredited surprise guest!). Torn between his love and his beautiful, crazy, young wife (Jennifer Lawrence) and son, Irving has to come up with his master plan to escape jail and death. Russell has proven an uncanny ability to take a great cast and make them greater. American Hustle is a film made for ensemble cast awards; picking one standout nears impossible, though the film takes a hit during most of Bale’s absences. Go. See it. • ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES (PG-13) Much has changed since last we heard from San Diego’s top newsman, Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell). He married co-anchor, Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate), and moved to New York City. But professional disappointment relegates Ron back to San Diego until he is offered the chance to front a 24-hour news network, the first of its kind. Ron returns to the Big Apple with his old news team behind him: features-stud Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), sports-guy Champ Kind (David Koechner) and weatherman Brick Tamland (Steve Carell). But they face new challenges from rival anchor Jack Lime (James Marsden) and Veronica’s new lover Gary (Greg Kinnear). The jokes might not fly as fast or as quotable as those of the original, but the narrative and characters are better. Carell’s newfound stardom after the first movie means more Brick, and surprisingly, that’s a good thing. A late detour into staged melodrama falls a

bit flat, adding unnecessary length, and the expected climactic battle gets too cameo-heavy with little comic payoff. Happily, the legend of Ron Burgundy is not tarnished by his return; only time will tell whether the sequel retains (or surpasses?) its predecessor’s rewatchability. AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY (R) Another adaptation of a Tracey Letts’ play (see Bug and Killer Joe) brings an all-star cast headed by Meryl Streep to Oklahoma. A family crisis reunites several strong willed women (including Streep, Julia Roberts and Juliette Lewis) on the family farm. Drama ensues. A top candidate for the year’s best cast, August: Osage County adds Ewan McGregor, Chris Cooper, Margo Martindale, Sam Shepard, Dermot Mulroney, Abigail Breslin and Benedict Cumberbatch to its trio of female leads. BAD GRANDPA (R) Much funnier and more poignant than one would expect from a production company named Dickhouse, Bad Grandpa expounds upon the “Jackass” sketch featuring Johnny Knoxville’s elderly alter ego, Irving Zisman. Knoxville and company capture people’s real reactions to the interactions of a naughty, oversexed grandfather and his eight-year-old grandson, Billy (Jackson Nicoll). THE BEST MAN HOLIDAY (R) Taye Diggs, Morris Chestnut, Terrance Howard and Harold Perrineau return as the former college pals audiences first met in 1999’s The Best Man. Now most are married and facing numerous grown up problems ranging from money to kids to illness. A wellappointed holiday movie clad in melodrama and mostly on target humor, The Best Man Holiday is the sort of film Tyler Perry has never quite made. THE BOOK THIEF (PG-13) A tale set in Nazi Germany and narrated by Death, The Book Thief stars Monsieur Lazhar’s Sophie Nelisse as young Liesel Meminger, who steals books. Geoffrey Rush and Emily Watson star as Liesel’s foster parents, Hans and Rosa Hubermann. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2 (PG) The animated family comedy, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, wasn’t quite one for which a sequel seemed necessary. Inventor Flint Lockwood (v. Bill Hader) is working for The Live Corp Company when he must leave his job to investigate

C I NEMAS Movie showtimes are not available by our deadline. Please check cinema websites for accurate information. CINÉ • 234 W. Hancock Ave. • 706-353-3343 • www.athenscine.com GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART • (UGA Campus) 90 Carlton St. • 706-542-GMOA • www.uga.edu/gamuseum/calendar/films.html TATE STUDENT CENTER • (UGA Campus) 45 Baxter St. • 706-542-6396 • www.union.uga.edu/movies Beechwood Stadium cinemas 11 • 196 Alps Rd. • 706-546-1011 • www.georgiatheatrecompany.com Carmike 12 • 1570 Lexington Rd. • 706-354-0016 • www.carmike.com Georgia Square value cinemas 5 • 3710 Atlanta Hwy. • 706-548-3426 • www.georgiatheatrecompany.com UNIVERSITY 16 cinemas • 1793 Oconee Connector • 706-355-9122 • www.georgiatheatrecompany.com

claims that his machine is creating food-animal hybrids. This flick sounds like it barely escaped a direct to DVD launch. DALLAS BUYERS CLUB (R) Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto have been hogging a lot of the recent buzz for their performances in The Young Victoria director JeanMarc Vallee’s mid-80s AIDS drama. After being diagnosed with the deadly disease, a hard living electrician Ron Woodruff (McConaughey) overcomes his homophobia and attempts to beat the system while getting necessary medications for himself and others struggling to survive the burgeoning epidemic. (Ciné) DESPICABLE ME 2 (PG) When a new super villain steals a dangerous, experimental serum, the Anti Villain League enlists Gru’s (v. Steve Carell) assistance. Watching this kiddie flick with a kid definitely increases the appeal of the little yellow Minions, whose roles have been enlarged with their own spinoff in the works for 2014.

GRUDGE MATCH (PG-13) This Raging Bull meets Rocky is competing for Christmas Day’s biggest snoozefest. Robert De Niro and Sylvester Stallone star as two aging boxers looking to recreate the magic of their epic final tilt some 30 years after the event. Kevin Hart and Alan Arkin show up for ethnic and (more) aged comic relief. Not terribly funny, should-be-crowdpleasers are director Peter Segal’s “specialty,” if one wishes to be that kind. With Athens’ own Kim Basinger. THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG (PG-13) Peter Jackson’s first return to Middle-earth, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, did not disappoint, even if it failed to excite like The Lord of the Rings trilogy. The second Hobbit feature still feels hobbled by a feeling of déjà vu. Armies of orcs marching to war or battles against giant killer spiders are nothing new. But when Jackson takes us to new locales like Lake Town at the foot of the Lonely Mountain, where mammoth dragon Smaug (v. Benedict Cumberbatch)

Oh, it’s gonna be fun crossing Prince Avenue to get to The Grit. 47 RONIN (R) It’s hard to imagine this long-delayed action flick will make much of a dent at the box office. Keanu Reeves stars as a samurai (WTF?!) looking, along with a few other roaming warriors, to avenge the death of their master. Confidence is not boosted with the knowledge that this movie is Carl Rinsch’s directorial debut. Oddly, the script was written by Oscar nominee Hossein Amini and Fast and Furious’ Chris Morgan. FROZEN (PG) A young princess, Anna (v. Kristen Bell), must venture into the frozen wilds to save her sister, recently crowned Queen Elsa (v. Idina Menzel), who has lost control over her icy powers. Anna is assisted in her search by ice salesman Kristoff (v. Jonathan Groff), his reindeer, Sven, and a goofy, talking snowman named Olaf (v. Josh Gad). The narrative, adapted from Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Snow Queen” by Jennifer Lee, is as Disney formulaic as they come, and the animation shines without standing out. Nonetheless, the characters are winning and the songs are catchy. GRAVITY (PG-13) An astronaut (George Clooney) and a doctor (Sandra Bullock) must work together to survive in the cold, silent confines of space. Gravity is the most incredible special effects driven film I have ever seen. You feel like you are in space, which is simultaneously awe-inspiringly beautiful and coldly dangerous. Taking two stars and placing them in a disaster movie heavily reliant on special effects takes so much vision and control.

resides, the epic fantasy film reaches toward those heights of its predecessor. Smaug is a wonder, a massive work of CGI art. The climactic, fiery escape from the Lonely Mountain leaves the audience breathless, eager for the final installment, There and Back Again, due next December. THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE (PG-13) The Hunger Games returns, and its sequel, while more a formality setting up the series’ final, revolutionary entry, improves upon an original that was more of a visual book report than an exciting cinematic adaptation. After surviving the 74th Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) and Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) are the Capitol’s newest celebrities. But all is not well in the Districts, and creepy President Snow (Donald Sutherland) lets Katniss know it by putting her back in the next year’s Games. New director Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend) paces the film better once we escape District 12, and the Quarter Quell is excitingly envisioned. Largely dismissed as repetitive upon the novel’s release, the underrated Catching Fire successfully adds more wrinkles to the Suzanne Collins’ formula than its more straightforward predecessor. LAST VEGAS (PG-13) The comedy is funnier than expected, and the drama is worse than one can imagine. Four old friends—Paddy (Robert De Niro), Billy (Michael Douglas), Archie (Morgan Freeman) and Sam (Kevin Kline)— head to Vegas for Billy’s bachelor party.

Director Jon Turteltaub smartly lets his four strong leads do their thing, and they are an appealing quartet. They work well together, no matter how unimaginative the script. LONE SURVIVOR (R) The new film from underrated action filmmaker Peter Berg stars Mark Wahlberg, Taylor Kitsch, Emile Hirsch and Ben Foster as Navy SEALs taking part in the failed 2005 mission, “Operation Red Wings.” While seeking to capture or kill a Taliban leader, four SEALs must tackle 200 plus enemy soldiers. MONSTERS UNIVERSITY (G) In this prequel to Monsters, Inc., we learn how Mike (v. Billy Crystal) and Sully (v. John Goodman) met. Apparently, the two scarers didn’t start as best buds. First, they were scaring rivals at Monsters University. This Revenge of the Monster Nerds doesn’t creatively bend college life for monsters as one would expect from Pixar. Fortunately, the animation, especially the creature design, is as lush and lifelike as ever. OLDBOY (R) Oh boy, does Spike Lee’s Oldboy have some big shoes to fill! The second installment of Park ChanWook’s Vengeance Trilogy is ten years old and still sears the imagination of those who have seen it. Violently vengeful Joe Doucett (Josh Brolin) seeks answers for his seemingly random 20-year captivity. OUT OF THE FURNACE (R) After a tragic accident, steel mill worker Russell Baze (Christian Bale) faces more bad news as his soldier brother, Rodney (Casey Affleck), runs afoul of a meth-ed up MF-er named Harlan DeGroat (Woody Harrelson). Despite warnings from the local policeman (Forest Whitaker), who just so happens to be dating Russell’s ex-girlfriend (Zoe Saldana), Russell tackles Harlan head-on. Clumsy plot devices recur, but the tension of Russell’s sad world will suck you in. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY: THE MARKED ONES (R) Paranormal Activity 2, 3 and 4 writer Christopher “Son of Michael” Landon makes his directorial debut with this fifth installment, which cannot be much worse than the last. (PA4 was so bad.) A set of Hispanic victims must face an inescapable force, much like Katie and Kristi did. The trailer promises the sort of scares that made the PA series horror’s most successful franchise since Saw. A winter release could shake the series up a bit and provide audiences with a chilly fright. PARKLAND (PG-13) This rather unheralded feature recounts the chaotic day at Dallas’ Parkland Hospital on November 22, 1963, the day President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Zac Efron, Tom “Clark Kent” Welling, Billy Bob Thornton and Marcia Gay Harden star, while Paul Giamatti plays Abraham Zapruder, whose namesake film would captivate the world forever. Parkland is the feature debut of writer-director Peter Landesman. Athens native Mallory Moye, who appears in the film, will be featured in a post-screening Q&A. (Ciné) PHILOMENA (PG-13) Journalist Martin Sixsmith (co-writer Steve Coogan) picks up the story of the title character (Dame Judi Dench) who gave up her son years ago after she was forced to live in a convent. Often, the work of two-time Oscar nominated director Stephen Frears (Dangerous

Liaisons, High Fidelity) is well-received by critics. The vastly talented Coogan can be an acquired taste. (Ciné) SAVING MR. BANKS (PG-13) P.L. Travers (Emma Thompson) meets with Walt Disney (Tom Hanks) himself during the negotiations for and the filming of her classic Mary Poppins. Apparently, the whole story was about her difficult Australian childhood and her own dad, who served as the inspiration for Mr. Banks. It looks like director John Lee Hancock has got another crowd pleasing hit on his hands. l THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY (PG) Ben Stiller takes on James Thurber’s classic short story about a regular Joe who daydreams of a more exciting life. (Danny Kaye played Walter Mitty in the 1947 version.) Stiller directs and stars as the titular dreamer, who discovers a real life adventure after his job is threatened. Kristen Wiig costars as Walter’s love interest, and Adam Scott is his workplace antagonist. Stiller’s presence in front of and behind the camera is intriguing, but something about the film seems too manufactured, at least according to the trailer. THOR: THE DARK WORLD (PG-13) The movie’s generic plot—an evil villain seeks to destroy the universe— and its science fiction aesthetic resemble an even-numbered Star Trek movie more than a Marvel superhero feature. With frequent “Game of Thrones” director Alan Taylor at the helm, the movie’s Asgard could have benefitted from a grittier, Westeros look. Oddly enough, what seemed like a weakness of the first film—Thor’s unpowered banishment to Earth—is exactly what’s missing from its sequel. Thor: The Dark World simply becomes more entertaining when the action leaves Asgard. TYLER PERRY’S A MADEA CHRISTMAS (PG-13) The biggest Madea misfire since Meet the Browns, A Madea Christmas gives off the whiff of expired made-for-TV eggnog. Perry’s merrily mischievous matron travels to Alabama with the worst character Perry has yet created, Eileen (Anna Maria Horsford). Eileen’s daughter, Lacey (Tika Sumpter), is hiding her new marriage to Conner (Eric Lively), who is white, and her mother’s interactions with his likable redneck parents, Buddy and Kim (Larry the Cable Guy and Kathy Najimy), are offensively rude. A Madea Christmas is simply an ugly movie that would look weak even against The Hallmark Channel original holiday fare. Unprofessional acting (check out the horrendous accents) and weak writing marked by outdated jokes about the small town South offend and disappoint. WALKING WITH DINOSAURS 3D (PG) Seventy million years ago during the Cretaceous period, three Pachyrhinosaurus pals—Patchi (v. Justin Long), Scowler (v. Skyler Stone) and Juniper (v. Tiya Sircar)—grow up together and struggle to survive. The film resembles a live action, computer generated hybrid version of the classic kiddie cartoon, The Land Before Time. John Leguizamo lends his voice to narrator Alex, an Alexornis bird symbiotically bonded with the dino protagonists. THE WOLF OF WALL STREET (R) Martin Scorsese’s longest film yet stars his latest muse, Leonardo DiCaprio, as Jordan Belfort, who rose from wealthy stockbroker, greedily feeding off the 1980s teat, to federal prisoner, convicted as part of a 1990s securities racket. Matthew McConaughey practically steals the preview, and the rest of the cast includes Jonah Hill, Kyle Chandler, Rob Reiner and many more. A Scorsese-DiCaprio team-up finally got the legend his Oscar; is it Leo’s turn? Drew Wheeler

DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM

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calendar picks MUSIC | Saturday, Dec. 28

Padre, Places to Hide, El Hollín, Mothers

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Caledonia Lounge · 9:30 p.m. · $5 (21+), $7 (18–20) A sleeper standout of 2013, local songwriter Kristine Leschper crafts breathtakingly fragile folk songs as Mothers. Leschper’s expressive, amorphous vocal delivery lends her music an indeterminate feel, though the simplicity of her setup—voice, guitar—and lack of effects creates an immediacy not found in the work of acts like Grouper. The other bands on the bill are also worth checking out. The new brainchild of George Huntington, and featuring members of New Wives and Dana Swimmer, Padre plays a playful and purposeful brand of college-rock. Local El Hollín continues to ply its indie-folk trade with increasingly impressive results. Places to Hide is a name to know: the highly lyrical, noise-inflected guitar-pop showcased on the Atlanta-based group’s debut LP hints at big things to come. [Gabe Vodicka] MUSIC | Saturday, Dec. 28

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014

LONG!

Daniel Lee Band, Erica Sunshine Lee, Otherside of Homer, Ashley Rivera

Georgia Theatre · 8 p.m. · $8 Talented Elberton native Erica Sunshine Lee continues to inspire ambivalence. She rather awkwardly straddles the line between astute commentary and radio-pandering fluff; her most recent album, I’m Still Me, featured a few legitimately incisive tunes but was also bogged down by formulaic schlock (“Put Some South in Your Mouth”). Lee will celebrate the release of her new LP, the thornily titled The South Will Rise Again, Saturday, Dec. 28 at the Georgia Theatre. For her sake and ours, let’s hope it’s just a clever name. [Gabe Vodicka] ART | Tuesday, Dec. 31

Stan Mullins’ “Archives” Opening Reception

Flicker Theatre and Bar · 6–9 p.m. · FREE! For the first time in a long while, Stan Mullins will display works outside of his home studio in “Archives,” an appropriately titled exhibit of paintings created over the past decade, displayed alongside information regarding a few of his larger forthcoming projects. While inspired by travels to Italy, Japan and Africa, Mullins’ major influence comes from Renaissance masters. He says, “For me, they sum up the role of the artist as an innovative thinker, creator and philosopher. They also lived a life of passion for their creativity and joy of living.” Epitomizing versatility, Mullins’ works range from marble, bronze and metal

sculptures, oil and watercolor paintings, graphic illustration and set designs. “Art is a song or dance of sorts,” he says, “it can be done in solitude, but it’s best when shared.” [Jessica Smith] MUSIC | Saturday, Jan. 4

Garbage Island, Terrarium, The 19th Brood, Small Group Improvs

40 Watt Club · 9 p.m. · $5 One year and a day to the date local experimental guitarist Craig Lieske passed away, his band Garbage Island will convene for a commemorative set of ecstatic free-noise. Founding member and former resident Mark Kaczmarek will fly in from France for the occasion, and the supporting acts will offer something special, too. Circulatory System, undercover as Terrarium, will perform a set of improvisational madness. The 19th Brood, a collaboration between Don Chambers and Lukas Cane, will experiment with guitars and tapes. And a revolving selection of local musicians will collaborate on a series of short improvisations. Those who knew

Erica Sunshine Lee Lieske will agree this show would have been exactly his style. [Gabe Vodicka] MUSIC | Saturday, Jan. 4 & Tuesday, Jan 7

Anna Hamilton

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar · 8 p.m. · TBA Nowhere Bar · 9 p.m. · FREE! At the behest of local promoter (and The Hut talent buyer) Mo Lutz, the Humboldt County, CA-based blues guitarist and singer-songwriter Anna Hamilton is in Athens for a monthlong residency that will find her at two local venues during the first week of January. On Saturday, Jan. 4., you can catch the captivating Hamilton, who has been performing in some capacity since her teenage years, having shared the stage with a bevy of blues legends, at Hendershot’s. The following Tuesday at Nowhere Bar, she’ll perform as part of Fester Hagood’s ongoing Tuesday Night Confessional series. Political types should be sure to chat Hamilton up: she is a longtime radio talk show host and a wellknown marijuana activist. [Gabe Vodicka]


the calendar! WHAT’S HAPPENING THIS WEEK

Deadline for getting listed in The Calendar is every FRIDAY at 5 p.m. for the print issue that comes out the following Wednesday. Online listings are updated daily. Email calendar@flagpole.com.

Thursday 26

Monday 30

Wednesday 1

FILM: Parkland with Actor Mallory Moye (Ciné Barcafé) Parkland recounts the tragic day President John F. Kennedy was assinated by using the perspectives of those who witnessed the event first hand like the doctors at Parkland Hospital, the Dallas Secret Service, the cameraman who filmed the event, the brother of Lee Harvey Oswold and JFK’s security team. Followed by a Q&A with Athens native and actor featured in the film, Mallory Moye. 7:30 p.m. $12. www. athenscine.com

GAMES: Trivia (Highwire Lounge) Athens’ toughest trivia. $100 grand prize every week! All ages. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-543-8997 GAMES: Team Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Win house cash and prizes! Every Monday night. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 KIDSTUFF: Baking Soda Weirdness (Madison County Library, Danielsville) Tweens will discover the wonders of baking soda through several fun science experiments. 10:30 a.m. FREE! 706795-5597

Friday 27

Tuesday 31

CLASSES: Salsa Dance Classes (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Cuban-style salsa dance classes with SALSAthens. No partner necessary. Beginners welcome. Every Wednesday. 6:30-7:30 p.m. (intermediate), 7:30-8:30 p.m. (beginners). $10 (incl. drink). www. facebook.com/salsaathens GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Grab a pint and test your trivia chops for prizes! Every Wednesday. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef ‘O’ Brady’s) Test your sports knowledge every Wednesday night. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916

EVENTS: Ladies Night Dance Party (Sundown Saloon) Hosed by DJ Lynn Carson. 8 p.m. FREE! 706248-0894

ART: Opening Reception (Flicker Theatre & Bar) For new artwork by Stan Mullins. See Calendar Pick on p. 10. 6–9 p.m. FREE! www.flickertheatreandbar.com EVENTS: New Year’s at Noon (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Activities include crafts, games, outdoor activities and a celebration at noon. For ages 4–12. 9:30 a.m.–12:30 p.m. $5–9. www. athensclarkecounty.com/sandycreeknaturecenter KIDSTUFF: Noon Year’s Eve Party (Madison County Library, Danielsville) This year’s theme is Japan and manga. Eat Japanese New Year’s snacks, watch an anime film and make crafts. 12 p.m. FREE! 706-795-5597

Sunday 29 GAMES: Trivia (Buffalo’s Café) “Brewer’s Inquisition,” trivia hosted by Chris Brewer every Sunday. 7 p.m. FREE! 706-354-6655, www. buffaloscafe.com/athens GAMES: Trivia (Amici) Test your skills. 9 p.m. 706-353-0000 GAMES: Trivia (The Capital Room) Every Sunday! Hosted by Evan Delany. First place wins $50 and second place wins $25. 8 p.m. FREE! www.thecapitalroom.com

Thursday 2 GAMES: Trivia with a Twist (Johnny’s New York Style Pizza) Throw a lime in your Coors Light and compete! Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. & Thursdays, 8 p.m. 706-354-1515 GAMES: Trivia (The Volstead) Every Thursday! 7:30-9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-354-5300 MEETINGS: Oconee Rivers Audubon Society (Sandy Creek Nature Center) This meeting features a screening The Ordinary Extraordinary Junco, a documentary film that explores the important role of this common bird in research. 7 p.m. FREE! www.oconeeriversaudubon.org

Artwork by Brian MacBeth is currently on display at Walker’s Coffee and Pub through January.

Friday 3 KIDSTUFF: Cheering the New Year (Memorial Park) Each hour, children enrolled in Kindergarten through 5th grade will ring in the New Year by exploring a different culture that uniquely commemorates the new start. This entertaining program is held on a day when all

of the Clarke County School District schools are not in session. Please register by Dec. 30. 9 a.m.–3:30 p.m. $15–23. www.athensclarkecounty.com/camps KIDSTUFF: Back to School Duct Tape Journals (Madison County Library, Danielsville) Tweens will learn how to create unique journals using duct tape. 3 p.m. $1. 706795-5597

Saturday 4 ART: Cameron Hampton Workshop Series (OCAF, Watkinsville) This workshop series in pastel portrait painting is for beginner through advanced level students. 10 a.m.–2 p.m. $75. www. ocaf.com

k continued on next page

IS MOVING! Mail us stuff:

Flagpole Magazine p.o. box 1027 athens, ga 30603

come see us:

220 Prince avenue athens, GA 30601

talk to us:

706.549.9523 phone • 706.548.8981 fax • www.flagpole.com

We will be moving the week of Dec. 30th Our New Home is 220 Prince Avenue

DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM

11


THE CALENDAR!

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CLASSES: Sweet Retreatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Little Sister Bag (Sewcial Studio) Learn to make this roomy weekend travel bag. Date of second class to be determined by teacher and students. 10 a.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;4 p.m. $75. 706-247-6143 EVENTS: Naturalistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Walk (Sandy Creek Nature Center) Take a hike around the property in search of seasonal happenings. Participants are encouraged to bring a camera and binoculars. 10â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11 a.m. FREE! 706-613-3615 EVENTS: Bring One for the Chipper (Multiple Locations) Bring an undecorated Christmas tree to be â&#x20AC;&#x153;tree-cycledâ&#x20AC;? and receive a free tree seedling. Drop-off locations include Coferâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Home and Garden Showplace, Clarke Middle School, Sandy Creek Nature Center and Chase Street Elementary School. 9 a.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;1 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3501

Sunday 5 ART: Run to the Sun 1983: Photography by Roy Shearer (CinĂŠ BarcafĂŠ) Local media journalist and filmmaker Andrew Shearer

Saturday, Jan. 4 continued from p.â&#x20AC;&#x2030;11

levels. For ages 10â&#x20AC;&#x201C;18. Registration required. 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5:30 p.m. FREE! 706613-3650, ext. 329

Tuesday 7 GAMES: Trivia with a Twist (Johnnyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s New York Style Pizza) See Thursday listing for full description Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. & Thursdays, 8 p.m. 706-354-1515 GAMES: Trivia (Fuzzyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Taco Shop) Compete for prizes and giveaways. Every Tuesday. 8â&#x20AC;&#x201C;10 p.m. 706353-0305 GAMES: Locos Trivia (Locos Grill & Pub) Westside and Eastside locations of Locos Grill and Pub feature trivia night every Tuesday. 8 p.m. FREE! www.locosgrill.com

Wednesday 8 ART: Artful Conversation (Georgia Museum of Art) Join Carissa DiCindio, curator of education, for an in-depth discussion of Louis BouchĂŠâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s painting, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Italy.â&#x20AC;? 2 p.m. FREE! www.georgiamuseum.org

GAMES: Trivia with a DJ (Your Pie) (Eastside location) Open your pie hole for a chance to win cash prizes. 7 p.m. FREE! www.yourpie.com GAMES: Sports Trivia (Beef â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Bradyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Test your sports knowledge every Wednesday night. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 GAMES: Dirty Nerds Trivia (Crowâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Nest) Trivia every Wednesday with host Todd Kelly. 10 p.m. FREE! www. facebook.com/dirtybirdsath GAMES: Full Contact Trivia (Blind Pig Tavern) Think you know it all? Test your knowledge every Wednesday night. 8 p.m. Both locations. 706-548-3442 KIDSTUFF: Outside the Box (Lay Park) Homeschooled children explore topics like first aid, babysitting basics and healthy living. 10 a.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;12 p.m. $3â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5. www.athensclarkecounty.com/lay KIDSTUFF: Owl Be Your Homework Helper (ACC Library) Fourth through sixth graders can be tutored by seventh graders in math, science, social studies and language arts. Wednesdays through November. 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5 p.m. FREE! 706613-3650 PERFORMANCE: Resident Accompanist Recital (UGA Ramsey Concert Hall) Hugh

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 YULETIDE KARAOKE Hosted by karaoke fanatic John â&#x20AC;&#x153;Dr. Fredâ&#x20AC;? Bowers and featuring a large assortment of pop, rock, indie and more.

Hodgson School of Music resident accompanist Anatoly Sheludyakov will perform works by Carl Tausig, Johann Strauss, Jr., Alfred Grunfeld and Erno Dohnanyi. 8 p.m. $5 (w/ student ID), $10. 706-542-4400, www.pac.uga.edu

ZARA SKY Spanish-born, Atlantabased singer-songwriter. JONATHON ROBINS Poppy singersongwriter from Atlanta.

The Office Lounge 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 CARLA LE FEVERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S LOUNGE LIZARD JAM PARTY Local singer hosts an open full-rock jam. P.A., drums, bass rig, keyboards and guitar amps set up and ready to go. Please bring your guitars and sticks. Every Thursday!

Friday 27 Butt Hutt Bar-B-Q 8 p.m. FREE! www.butthuttbarbecue. com BRANDON WHITLEY Young singer-songwriter playing originals as well as classic rock, Southern rock, country, alternative and blues covers. Flicker Theatre & Bar 9 p.m. www.flickertheatreandbar.com CAITLIN MARIE BELL Folky singersongwriter from New York City with a haunting, expressive voice.

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12

Paintings by Cody Murray are currently on display at Republic Salon. presents a slide show of photography by his late father, Roy Shearer. Kept in a trunk for over 30 years, this collection of images chronicles a wild weekend in 1983 full of bikers, babes and beer. 3 p.m. FREE! www. athenscine.com

Monday 6 EVENTS: PFLAG Meeting (The Coffee Shop of Athens) A support group for parents, family members and friends of the LGBTQ community. Meetings are held on the first Monday of each month. 6:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m. FREE! pflagathga@gmail.com GAMES: Trivia (Highwire Lounge) Grab some friends and compete in Athensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; toughest trivia. $100 grand prize every week! All ages. 8 p.m. FREE! 706-543-8997 GAMES: Team Trivia (Beef â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Bradyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s) Win house cash and prizes! Every Monday night. 8:30 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1916 KIDSTUFF: Open Chess Play for Teens (ACC Library) Teen chess players of all skill levels can play matches and learn from members of the local Chess and Community Players, who will be on hand to assist players and help build skill

FLAGPOLE.COM â&#x2C6;&#x2122; DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014

CLASSES: Salsa Dance Classes (Little Kings Shuffle Club) Cuban-style salsa dance classes with SALSAthens. No partner necessary. Beginners welcome. Every Wednesday. 6:30-7:30 p.m. (intermediate), 7:30-8:30 p.m. (beginners). $10 (incl. drink). www. facebook.com/salsaathens CLASSES: Buddhist Teachings (Body, Mind & Spirit) Learn how to apply the teaching of Buddha to end suffering and bring peace to your life. Every Wednesday. 6 p.m. Donations accepted. 706-351-6024 EVENTS: Rabbit Box, Jr. (The Melting Point) This monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s theme is â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Year is Young,â&#x20AC;? and, for the first time, will showcase youth storytellers that are students at W.R. Coile Middle School, Cedar Shoals High School and Clarke Central High School. All ages. 6 p.m. $5. www. meltingpointathens.com GAMES: Trivia (Copper Creek Brewing Company) Test your trivia chops for prizes! Every Wednesday. 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-1102 GAMES: Trivia (Choo Choo Japanese Korean Grill Express) Jump on the trivia train! Win house cash prizes with host Todd Kelly. Every Wednesday. 7:30 p.m. www.choochoorestaurants.com

LIVE MUSIC Tuesday 24 Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 DJ MARK MOBLEY Spinning classic Christmas tunes, lounge and mambo! Sundown Saloon 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1180 OPEN MIC NIGHT Grab your guitar! Full PA, drums and amps provided. Every Tuesday.

Thursday 26 Dirty Birds 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-7050 BLESS THE MIC Open mic and karaoke night. Every Thursday!

Georgia Theatre 9 p.m. $10. www.georgiatheatre.com BLOODKIN The long-running Athens quartet plays a bluesy style of roots-rock music with big guitars and sharply written lyrics for darkly countrified bar-room rock. Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 MADELINE Bell-voiced songwriter Madeline Adams plays endearing songs of smalltown loves, hopes and other assorted torments and joys. THEO HILTON Nana Grizol frontman returns to town to play a solo set of tunes. DJ MAHOGANY Popular local DJ spins freaky funk, sultry soul, righteous R&B and a whole lotta unexpected faves for your booty shakinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; pleasure. Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com THE GREEN FLAG BAND Playing traditional Irish music.


Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ lkshuffleclub THE FUZZLERS Ever-evolving local punk band. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Foam-core goof-punk with an interactive live show.â&#x20AC;? SCUMBAG DAD Tallahassee, FL-based slop-punk band. SIDE LEG â&#x20AC;&#x153;New weird-core band.â&#x20AC;?

The Office Lounge 9 p.m. 706-546-0840 GLENN ATHEN Country singersongwriter from Comer, GA.

The Melting Point 8 p.m. $8 (adv.), $10 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com GRAINS OF SAND This local band with a killer four-piece horn section offers up your favorite â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;60s and â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;70s beach and Motown music.

Sunday 29

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 ANDREW SCOTCHIE AND THE RIVER RATS Hard-rocking bluesfunk band from Asheville, NC. The Office Lounge 9 p.m. 706-546-0840 THE BIG DON BAND Southern-fried local rock trio.

Saturday 28 Butt Hutt Bar-B-Q 8 p.m. FREE! www.butthuttbarbecue. com FLOW MOTION Local classic rock cover band.

Sundown Saloon 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1177 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke!

Go Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-5609 INDIE ROCK KARAOKE Sing your favorites with host Geoff Carr. Green Room 9 p.m. www.greenroomathens.com MAGIC MISSILE Science-obsessed folk-pop band from Athens led by songwriter Jake Mosely and featuring members of Harvey Milk and Lona. HAYRIDE Long-running three-piece local rock band.

Georgia Theatre 8 p.m. $8. www.georgiatheatre.com ERICA SUNSHINE LEE Fast-rising country singer-songwriter from Elberton. See Calendar Pick on p. 10. DANIEL LEE BAND Local Southern rock/country outfit. OTHERSIDE OF HOMER Duo straight out of Homer, GA that combines country, rock, and a little bit of everything else. O.S.H. is a little different than your everyday acoustic jam session. ASHLEY RIVERA Country singer/ songwriter out of Atlanta.

Athens Moose Club 7 p.m. 706-546-0543 THE SENSATIONAL SOUNDS OF MOTOWN Six veteran musicians entertaining crowds in the Southeast for nearly 18 years promise an exciting, live-energy show. Featuring Mr. Motown!

The Melting Point Annual Christmas Show. 8 p.m. $15 (adv.), $20 (door). www.meltingpointathens.com RANDALL BRAMBLETT BAND This established Georgia singersongwriterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Southern-tinged music pulls from a variety of influences. CAROLINE AIKEN BAND One of Athensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; most talented and respected performing songwriters. Her bluesy voice and masterful technique guarantee a hypnotic performance. Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 STEREOTYPE No info available.

CHEAP DRINK SPECIALS EVERY NIGHT BEFORE 11PM â&#x20AC;˘ 18 + UP

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TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31ST

NYE CELEBRATION with

DJ MOB KNARLY

40 Watt Club 9 p.m. $11. www.40watt.com RADIOLUCENT Five-piece locally bred outfit that plays â&#x20AC;&#x153;sweet Southern rock and roll.â&#x20AC;? See story on p. 8. THE HIGHER CHOIR Homegrown Southern roots-rock inspired by the likes of The Black Crowes and Drive-By Truckers. k continued on next page

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Tuesday 31

Cutters Pub 9 p.m. 706-353-9800 DJ MOB KNARLY Local DJ spins a set of party tunes for New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve.

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Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 STRAIGHT NO CHASER No info available.

Caledonia Lounge HAP Presents the Dirty Disney Ball. 9 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18-20). www. caledonialounge.com SCOTT LOW AND THE SOUTHERN BOUILLON New project from the former Efren frontman, featuring Doyle Williams (Rehab), Clint Swords and Mike Strickland. See story on p. 8. LOWDIVE Local ska/reggae band. DANGFLY Local rock band featuring an all-star lineup, including Adam Payne, Shawn Johnson, Jay Rodgers, Scotty Nicholson and Adam Poulin SHOWTIME Elite tha Showstoppaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s band plays eclectic hip-hop mixed with rockinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; funky soul.

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Monday 30

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com OPEN MIC Local singer-songwriter Kyshona Armstrong hosts this open mic night every Monday.

Hendershotâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com PATTON/NELSON DUET Two local jazz musicians team up.

285 W. Washington St. Athens, GA â&#x20AC;˘ Call 706-549-7871 for Show Updates

Echo 12:30 p.m. FREE! 706-548-2266 RE-MOVEMENT JAZZ BRUNCH Enjoy jazz and world fusion music from Tim Adams and Greg Hankin while eating brunch.

Caledonia Lounge 9:30 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18-20). www. caledonialounge.com PADRE Local indie band featuring members of Dana Swimmer. See Calendar Pick on p. 10. PLACES TO HIDE Indie rock band from Atlanta. EL HOLLIN This Athens band plays haunting pop music with minimal instrumentation and ethereal female vocals. MOTHERS Local songwriter Kristine Leschper performs gorgeous, haunting folk tunes.

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 DJ BLOWPOP Joe Kubler (Bubbly Mommy Gun) spins a set of tunes.



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13


THE CALENDAR!

Happy Hour Monday-Friday 4-6pm

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27TH

Green Flag Band

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 28TH

Patton / Nelson Duet

Come Meet Our NEW EXECUTIVE CHEF We’ve kept our Classics and added New Southern-Inspired Tapas

MONDAY, DECEMBER 30TH

Open Mic

THURSDAY, JANUARY 2ND

Old Skool Trio

FRIDAY, JANUARY 3

Make Reservations for RD

Jonathan Byrd

ADVANCED TICKETS AVAILABLE

SATURDAY, JANUARY 4TH

Kate Morrissey & Anna Hamilton

NEW YEAR’S EVE Regular Menu plus 3 course Special Menu

Georgia Theatre 8 p.m. $17.50. www.georgiatheatre. com THE WHIGS Hard-driving formerly local rock trio with heavy pop sensibilities. See story on p. 8. VELVETEEN PINK This quartet of funksters (including DJ Alfredo of Immuzikation) plays electrobased, groove-laden, upbeat stuff in the Prince, Stevie Wonder and Jamiroquai style. NEW MADRID Echoing and atmospheric music along with folky vocals and swift, proficient guitar plucks. Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 BACHARACH TO THE FUTURE Burt Bacharach cover band featuring members of The Dream Scene and Bubbly Mommy Gun. See story on p. 8. DIRTY MIND Prince cover band featuring Joe Kubler, Javier Morales, Mercer West, Greg O’Connell and Aaron Gentry. COOMBSBOT Athens-based robot-indisguise regenerates live electronic covers of looped pop classics from the ‘80s,’ 90s and today!

Tuesday, Dec. 31 continued from p. 13

EASYRIDER Spinning all your favorite jams from the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s. The Melting Point 7 p.m. $50. www.meltingpointathens. com THE SWINGIN’ MEDALLIONS Perhaps best known for their 1966 hit “Double Shot (of My Baby’s Love),” today the Medallions are made up of children or other relatives of the original lineup and bill themselves as “the party band of the South.” See story on p. 8. MOB CORRELLIS TRIO Funky, jazzinspired band. ANNA HAMILTON Talented blues singer-songwriter and activist based in Northern California. New Earth Athens 8 p.m. $10. www.newearthmusichall. com GRO/CONSCIOUS Members of Latinjazz group Grogus and dub-reggae ensemble DubConscious team up for a 90-minute set. See story on p. 8. JUBEE & THE MORNING AFTER Smooth, soulful hip-hop/funk hybrid featuring local MC JuBee and his band of electric rockers.

Wednesday 1 Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 COLD COLD SWEATS Melodic, Southern-inspired alternative rock band from Florence, AL. Tapped 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-6277 KARAOKE Sing your heart out every Wednesday.

Thursday 2 Caledonia Lounge 9 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18-20) www.caledonialounge.com THE DICTATORTOTS These longtime Athenian chaos-cultivators stomp about and trash the night with postgrunge grooves. THUNDERCHIEF Local act with a West Coast punk sound influenced by classic rock. PANIC MANOR Rock group from Augusta. SNAFOO No info available. Dirty Birds 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-7050 BLESS THE MIC Open mic and karaoke night. Every Thursday!

UPSTAIRS

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014

DJ Z-DOGG Loveable local DJ spins top-40 hits, old-school hip-hop, high-energy rock and other danceable favorites. TWIN POWERS Local DJ Dan Geller and friends spin late-night glam rock, new wave, Top 40, punk and Britpop.

SQUISCH This new local three-piece band is a genre-shuffling enigma that will keep you grooving all through the night. ANDY BRUH & ROBBIE DUDE Two local EDM hotshots ring in the new year and spin sets in between bands all night long.

Green Room 9 p.m. $10. www.greenroomathens. com GHOST OWL Local group featuring former members of Perpetual Groove that partially diverges from that band’s sound but still retains a jammy vibe. THE PEOPLE’S BLUES OF RICHMOND A crazy three-piece psychedelic rock/funk group from Richmond, VA.

Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 THE HEAP Incredible, funky indiesoul band based here in Athens with an amazing horn section and fronted by Bryan Howard’s ultra-low, bass growl.

Little Kings Shuffle Club 10 p.m. FREE! www.facebook.com/ lkshuffleclub DJ MAHOGANY Popular local DJ spins freaky funk, sultry soul, righteous R&B and a whole lotta unexpected faves. See story on p. 8.

The World Famous 9 p.m. www.theworldfamousathens. com YIP DECEIVER An infectiously fun blend of feel-good pop, R&B grooves and noise-bending electro from right here in Athens.

The Office Lounge 9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-549-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke!

Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 YULETIDE KARAOKE Hosted by karaoke fanatic John “Dr. Fred” Bowers and featuring a large assortment of pop, rock, indie and more. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com OLD SKOOL TRIO Funk, blues, and jazz featuring Carl Lindberg on bass, Seth Hendershot on drums and Jason Fuller on keys. Playing original compositions and the music of The Funky Meters, Dr. John, War, Sly and the Family Stone, Billy Preston, Stevie Wonder, Funkadelic and more. The Office Lounge 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-0840 CARLA LE FEVER’S LOUNGE LIZARD JAM PARTY Local singer hosts an open full-rock jam. P.A., drums, bass rig, keyboards and guitar amps set up and ready to go. Please bring your guitars and sticks.


Friday 3

Saturday 4

Caledonia Lounge 10 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18-20). www. caledonialounge.com THE FREQUENCIES New project by Kill Kill Buffalo drummer Tyler Ohrt. CORTEZ GARZA Local singer-songwriter pushes the envelope with his unique blend of indie/Americana. LEEANN PEPPERS Local singersongwriter playing an acoustic set with a mix of covers and originals. BRONZE BRAIN No info available.

Caledonia Lounge 10 p.m. $5 (21+), $7 (18-20). www. caledonialounge.com FAKE FLOWERS New local psychedelic-tinged jangle-rock band. THE HEAD Young, Atlanta-based poprock group. FUTO Acoustic-minded indie-pop project fronted by Patrick Brick.

Festival Hall (Greensboro) 7 p.m. $25. www.ez-fm.com A NEIL DIAMOND TRIBUTE A musical tribute to the Jewish Elvis himself featuring Branson, MO’s Keith Alynn, a seven-time Branson Show Award Winner. This is a benefit concert for the local non-

40 Watt Club 9 p.m. $5. www.40watt.com GARBAGE ISLAND Loud, metallic and edgy, the band dips into krautrock and progressive thought, earning it the “experimental” tag. This is a tribute show in memory of the band’s late guitarist Craig Lieske. See Calendar Pick on p. 10. TERRARIUM Local band Circulatory System plays a set of improvisational experimentations.

Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. FREE! www.hendershotscoffee. com OPEN MIC Local singer-songwriter Kyshona Armstrong hosts this open mic night every Monday.

Tuesday 7 The Melting Point Terrapin Tuesday. 7 p.m. $5. www. meltingpointathens.com DRIFTWOOD Local Americana collective plays darkly accented folk music. RED OAK SOUTHERN STRING BAND This Watkinsville-based band plays rootsy Americana tunes. Nowhere Bar 9 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 TUESDAY NIGHT CONFESSIONAL Host Fester Hagood presents

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Bloodkin and Friends play the Georgia Theatre on Friday, Dec. 27. commerical radio station EZFM 88.1/89.9 FM. Green Room 9 p.m. www.greenroomathens.com PILGRIM Local rock band featuring Paul McHugh on vocals, guitar and keyboards along with Matt Stoessel on guitar, TJ Machado on bass, Thayer Sarrano on keyboards and Brad Morgan on drums. THE HONEY SLIDERS Says the band: “Featuring Jonathan Walker, playing original music from Catopolis inspired by Rocket Gizmos and Gomez The Multi-Colored Snake.” BUFFALO HAWK Heavy, Crazy Horseinspired band led by Matt Stoessel and featuring Paul McHugh, Brantley Senn and Jim Wilson. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. $15. www.hendershotscoffee. com JONATHAN BYRD & THE PICKUP COWBOYS Lauded North Carolinabased songwriter who brings together the Texas songwriting tradition with Southern storytelling and hot guitar-picking in the line of Doc Watson and Tony Rice. ADAM KLEIN Local songwriter playing a rustic blend of country, folk and Americana. The Melting Point 8 p.m. $7 (adv.), $10 (door). www. meltingpointathens.com REELIN’ IN THE DAN Atlanta-based 10-member Steely Dan tribute act. Nowhere Bar 10 p.m. FREE! 706-546-4742 ERIK NEIL BAND Local trio playing blues/rock covers and originals. The Office Lounge 9:30 p.m. FREE! 706-549-0840 KARAOKE See Tuesday listing for full description

THE 19TH BROOD New noise/drone project from local musicians Don Chambers and Lukas Cane. Hendershot’s Coffee Bar 8 p.m. www.hendershotscoffee.com ANNA HAMILTON Talented blues singer-songwriter and activist based in Northern California. See Calendar Pick on p. 10. KATE MORRISSEY Best known for her dark velvet voice, Morrissey’s songwriting is literate and sincere, and her conversational live shows come punctuated with an offbeat sense of humor. The Office Lounge 9 p.m. 706-546-0840 MATT JOINER BAND Local guitarist draws inspiration from blues and classic rock. Sundown Saloon 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-1177 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke!

Sunday 5 ACC Library 3 p.m. FREE! 706-613-3650 THE SOLSTICE SISTERS Old-time country ballads, traditional folk and ‘40s-style swing with sweet, warm harmonies. Echo 12:30 p.m. FREE! 706-548-2266 RE-MOVEMENT JAZZ BRUNCH Enjoy jazz and world fusion music from Tim Adams and Greg Hankin.

Monday 6 Go Bar 10 p.m. 706-546-5609 GOPEN MIC NIGHT K. Jared Collins presents this weekly open mic.

this week’s showcase of singersongwriter talent, featuring Anna Hamilton and the Rick Fowler Band. See Calendar Pick on p. 10. The Volstead 9 p.m. 706-354-5300 KARAOKE Every Tuesday!

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Wednesday 8 Georgia Theatre 9 p.m. FREE! www.georgiatheatre.com BACKROAD ANTHEM Country-rock band from Fayetteville, AR. Hi-Lo Lounge 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-8561 KARAOKE WITH THE KING Sing your guts out every Wednesday! The Office Lounge 9 p.m. FREE! 706-549-0840 KARAOKE With your host Lynn, the Queen of Karaoke!

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Tapped 9 p.m. FREE! 706-850-6277 KARAOKE Sing your heart out every Wednesday.

Down the Line 1/9 HARSH WORDS / SOKEA PISTE / THE RODNEY KINGS (Flicker Theatre & Bar) 1/9 YULETIDE KARAOKE (Go Bar) 1/9 LINGO / BUBONIK FUNK (Green Room) 1/9 CARLA LE FEVER’S LOUNGE LIZARD JAM PARTY (The Office Lounge) 1/13 GOPEN MIC NIGHT (Go Bar) 1/13 OPEN MIC (Hendershot’s Coffee Bar) 1/15 KARAOKE (The Office Lounge) 1/16 YULETIDE KARAOKE (Go Bar) 1/16 CARLA LE FEVER’S LOUNGE LIZARD JAM PARTY (The Office Lounge)

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DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM

15


bulletin board DO SOMETHING; GET INVOLVED! Deadline for getting listed in Bulletin Board is every THURSDAY at 5 p.m. for the print issue that comes out the following Wednesday. Online listings are updated daily. Email calendar@flagpole.com.

ART Call for Artists (Terrapin Beer Co.) Terrapin is seeking artwork inspired by the label of their upcoming Mosaic Single-Hopped Red Ale for a gallery event benefiting ATHICA. Any hangable medium; 20â&#x20AC;? max dimension. Winning artwork will receive $200 and be displayed in Terrapinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s upcoming tasting room. Email submission photos by Feb. 1. Event on Feb. 27. Artwork will be displayed Feb. 25â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Mar. 28. mosaic@athica.org Call for Artists (Amici) Currently accepting artists for the winter lineup. Email samples of work to ryan.myers@amici-cafe.com

CLASSES 2014 Athens Small Business Summit (The Classic Center) The summit is an all-day event for businesses of all sizes and stages of development. It includes educational breakout sessions, resources, experienced speakers and networking opportunities. Register by Apr. 15. Discounts will be given for early registration. Summit on Apr. 24. $79â&#x20AC;&#x201C;129. www.smallbizathens.com Clay Classes (Good Dirt) Weekly â&#x20AC;&#x153;Try Clayâ&#x20AC;? classes ($20/person) introduce participants to the potterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wheel every Friday from 7â&#x20AC;&#x201C;9 p.m. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Family Try Clayâ&#x20AC;? classes show children and adults hand-building methods every Sunday from 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;4 p.m. $20. 706-355-3161, www. gooddirt.net Dance Classes (Floorspace) Sulukule Bellydance presents classes in bellydancing, Bollywood dance, yoga, theatrical â&#x20AC;&#x153;bellyesque,â&#x20AC;? burlesque and Middle Eastern

drumming. New classes begin Jan. 7. Visit website for schedule. www. floorspaceathens.com Dance Classes (Dancefx) Classes offered in salsa, creative movement, ballet, tap, jazz, hip hop, breakdance, acrobatics, cheer dance and more. 706-355-3078, www.dancefx.org Flow Yoga (Athens Five Points Yoga Studio) Offering classes in Iyengar, flow, align and flow, hot power flow, gentle flow and earlymorning rise and shine yoga. 706355-3114, www.fivepointsyoga.com Mac Workshops (PeachMac) Frequent introductionary courses. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Intro to iPad.â&#x20AC;? Jan. 4, 11, 18 or 25, 10 a.m. Jan. 6 or 20, 6 p.m. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Intro to Mac.â&#x20AC;? Jan. 8 or 22, 10 a.m. Jan. 13 or 27, 6 p.m. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Intro to iPhoto.â&#x20AC;? Jan. 16 or 30, 6 p.m. FREE! 706-2089990, www.peachmac.com/training/ workshops.php Master Composter Class (ACC Solid Waste Department) Become a home composting expert. Participants must complete the training course and volunteer at least 40 hours back to the program. Wednesdays, Jan. 29â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Mar. 26, 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m. Field trips on Feb. 22 and Mar. 15. $145. 706-613-3640 Monologues & More (Memorial Park, Quinn Hall) This program uses simple monologues, skits and improvisational scenarios to explore the benefits of drama, discover different emotional responses and build self-esteem. For teens and adults with cognitive disabilities and their caregivers. Call to register for six classes. Tuesdays, Jan. 7â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Feb. 11, 4:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5:30 p.m. $30-40. 706613-3628, www.athensclarkecounty. com/act One-on-One Computer Classes (Oconee County Library) Schedule a private help session with the libraryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s computer specialist. Get

help with Word, Excel, job searching, Internet and computer skills and more. Schedule in person or by phone. 706-769-3950 Printmaking Workshops (Double Dutch Press) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Tea Towels: One Color Screenprinting.â&#x20AC;? Jan. 4, 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;6 p.m. $50. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Multicolor Reductive Woodcut.â&#x20AC;? Jan. 8, 15 & 22, 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m. $85. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Family Fun: Print at Tote! One Color Screenprinting.â&#x20AC;? Jan. 11, 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5 p.m. $40. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Custom Stationery: One Color Screenprinting.â&#x20AC;? Jan. 18, 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5 p.m. $40. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Valentines! One Color Screenprinting.â&#x20AC;? Jan. 25, 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5 p.m. $40. www.doubledutchpress.com Quilting (Sewcial Studio) Quilting classes for beginner to advanced students cover both traditional and modern projects. Sundays, 12â&#x20AC;&#x201C;4 p.m. 706-247-6143, www.sewcial studio.com Womenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Self Defense Classes (American Blackbelt Academy) Ongoing workshops in Sexual Assault Fundamental Escapes (SAFE). Call to register. 706-549-1671, athensjiujitsu.com Yoga (Mama Birdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Granola) Ongoing classes tailored to individuals. Wednesdays, 6:30 p.m. Fridays, 9 a.m. $5â&#x20AC;&#x201C;10/class. 678-997-9647, www.facebook.com/mamabirds granola Yoga & Meditation (Rubber Soul Yoga) Ongoing classes in Kundalini, Hatha and restorative yoga as well as guided meditation. The Athens Zen Group, which includes Dharma talks concerning Zen Buddhism, meets every Sunday morning. calclements@gmail.com, www.rubbersoulyoga.com Yoga & Tai Chi (Mind Body Institute, ARMC) Mindfulness-based stress reduction and therapeutic yoga. 706-475-7329, mbiprograms@armc.org, www.athens health.org

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16

FLAGPOLE.COM â&#x2C6;&#x2122; DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014

A sculpture by Marcelle Cahn is currently on view in â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cercle et CarrĂŠ and the International Spirit of Abstract Artâ&#x20AC;? at the Georgia Museum of Art through Jan. 5. Yoga Classes (Healing Arts Centre) Several types of ongoing classes are offered for all levels, including Ashtanga, therapeutic, Vinyasa and power lunch yoga. Pilates and yoga teacher training, too. Visit website for details. www. healingartscentre.net Yoga Classes at New Earth (New Earth Athens) All levels welcome. Mondayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Saturday mornings and weeknight evenings. $5â&#x20AC;&#x201C;15 requested donation. Check website for daily schedule. www. newearthcommunity.weebly.com/ calendar.html, www.facebook.com/ newearthyoga Yoga Teacher Training (Yogaful Day) Bill Cottrell offers a Yoga Alliance approved RYT200 Yoga Teacher Training program. Jan. 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;May 3. $1550. www.yogafulday. com

HELP OUT American Veterans (Athens, GA) Drive VA furnished vehicles to transport vets living with disabilities to local clinics and Augusta hospitals. Weekdays, 8 a.m.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5 p.m., once or twice a month. Call Roger, 706-202-0587 BikeAthens Bike Recycling Program (BikeAthens) BikeAthens seeks volunteers to recondition bikes for Athenians underserved by private and public transportation. No tools or experience needed. First-time volunteers should come on a Wednesday for

an orientation session. Mondays & Wednesdays, 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8:30 p.m. & Sundays, 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;4:30 p.m. www. bikeathens.com Donate Blood Give the gift of blood! Check website for current donor locations. Red Cross also seeks volunteers for the Athens and Gainesville Donor Centers and at mobile blood drives in 29 counties. 1-800-RED CROSS, kathy.pollock@ redcross.org, www.redcrossblood. org Free IT (Free IT Athens) Volunteers wanted to refurbish and recycle computers. Free IT Athens provides technology resources to Athens residents and organizations. No experience necessary, but first-timers should come to an orientation. www. freeitathens.org/volunteer HandsOn Northeast Georgia (Athens, GA) HandsOn NEGA is a project of Community Connection of Northeast Georgia that assists volunteers in finding flexible service opportunities at various organizations. Over 130 local agencies seek help with ongoing projects and special short-term events. Visit the website for a calendar and to register. www.handsonnortheastgeorgia.com Smart Lunch, Smart Kid (Athens, GA) Action Ministries is seeking volunteers to help prepare, pack and deliver free lunches to local children eligible for free or reduced lunch. Smart Lunch, Smart Kid expects to feed 300 students a day on Dec. 26, 27 & 30 and Jan. 3. 478-494-7717, dhooks@action ministries.net

KIDSTUFF ACTing Workshop (Athens Creative Theatre (ACT)) This sixweek workshop will use theater games and exercises along with short monologues and age-appropriate scripts to teach the proper mechanics of stage presentation, theater etiquette, basic staging and character animation. For ages 8â&#x20AC;&#x201C;12. Thursdays, Jan. 9â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Feb. 13, 4:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5:30 p.m. $83â&#x20AC;&#x201C;125. www. athensclarkecounty.com/act Craft Classes (Treehouse Kid and Craft) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Baby Sensory Classâ&#x20AC;? for ages 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;24 months (Wednesdays, 10 a.m. & Saturdays, 11 a.m.), â&#x20AC;&#x153;We Craftâ&#x20AC;? for ages 2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;3 (Thursdays & Saturdays, 10 a.m.), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Craft Clubâ&#x20AC;? for ages 3â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5 (Thursdays, 4 p.m.), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Craft Clubâ&#x20AC;? for ages 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;10 (Wednesdays, 4 p.m.), â&#x20AC;&#x153;Family Crafterdaysâ&#x20AC;? for ages 4â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 (Saturdays, 12 p.m.). â&#x20AC;&#x153;Craft Inc.â&#x20AC;? for ages 9â&#x20AC;&#x201C;14 (Fridays, 4:30 p.m.). $10/ class. www.treehousekidandcraft. com

SUPPORT Alanon (540 Prince Ave.) Alanon: A 12 step recovery program for those affected by someone elseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drinking. Tuesdays, 7:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8:30 p.m. FREE! 478-955-3422 Alcoholics Anonymous (Athens, GA) If you want to drink, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your business. If you want to stop, we can help. 706-389-4164, www.athensaa.com


location. Every Wednesday. 6:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m. FREE! 706-543-3331 (hotline), 706-613-3357, ext. 771 Life After Diagnosis (Oasis Counseling Center) An ongoing support group aimed at helping those with chronic or life-threatening diseases. Wednesdays, 4:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;6 p.m. $15/session. 706-543-3522, www. oasiscounselingcenter.com

ON THE STREET ACC Tennis Now Open (Southeast Clarke Park) The ACC Tennis Center offers 12 lighted courts and accomodates year-round open play, leagues, instructional programs, clinics and tournaments. Winter tennis programs begin in January. www. athensclarkecounty.com/tennis

ART AROUND TOWN A. LAFERA SALON (2440 W. Broad St.) Artwork by Anna Desio. Through December. AMICI (233 E. Clayton St.) Whimsical and retroinspired collage prints by John Williams. Through January. ANTIQUES & JEWELS ART GALLERY (290 N. Milledge Ave.) Paintings by Mary Porter, Christine Shockley, Dortha Jacobson and others. Art quilts by Elizabeth Barton and handmade jewelry by various artists. ART ON THE SIDE GALLERY AND GIFTS (1011B Industrial Blvd., Watkinsville) A gallery featuring works by various artists in media including ceramics, paintings and fused glass. ARTINIâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ART LOUNGE (296 W. Broad St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Clouds of Facesâ&#x20AC;? is an exhibit and new book presenting 15 relief sculptures in clay by Vernon J. Thornsberry. Paintings by Andy Cherewick are also on display. Through January. ATHENS ACADEMY (1281 Spartan Lane) In the Myers Gallery, artwork by Bette Houser and Leslie Snipes and contemporary art quilts by Elizabeth Barton, Ruth Handy and Catherine Hart. Through Jan. 24. AURUM STUDIOS (125 E. Clayton St.) RenĂŠ Shoemaker presents new works inspired by French architecture on silk and paper. Januaryâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;February. THE BRANDED BUTCHER (225 N. Lumpkin St.) Paintings and drawings by Sanithna Phansavanh. â&#x20AC;˘ Paintings by Lela Burnett. CINĂ&#x2030; BARCAFĂ&#x2030; (234 W. Hancock Ave.) Fabric design samples by Susan Hable. Through Jan. 7. â&#x20AC;˘ David Noah presents portraits of members of the Word of Mouth poetry community. Opening reception Jan. 9. Through January. THE CLASSIC CENTER (300 N. Thomas St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Like a Rainbowâ&#x20AC;? presents large colorful paintings by Sarah Emerson, Tommy Taylor, Kathryn Refi, Chris Hocking, Hannah Jones, Elliot Walters and Liselott Johnsson. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Assembleâ&#x20AC;? presents collage works by Jenn Manzella, Jon Swindler, Claire Clements, Justin Plakas, Leslie Snipes and Jaynie Gillman Crimmins. Through January. EARTH FARE (1689 S. Lumpkin St.) Paintings by Betty Gray. Through December. ELLISON, WALTON & BYRNE (2142 W. Broad St.) Hand-painted silk wall hangings and angels by Margaret Agner. Through Jan. 20. FARMINGTON DEPOT GALLERY (1011 Salem Rd., Farmington) Owned and staffed by 14 artists, the gallery exhibits paintings, sculpture, folk art, ceramics and fine furniture. Permanent collection artists include Leigh Ellis, Matt Alston, Michael Pierce, Peter Loose and more. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Quadrants of Spontaneous Monsterficationâ&#x20AC;? by See Dan Paint! aka Dan Smith. Through Dec. 28. FLASHBACK GAMES (162 W. Clayton St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Artcade Show 2.0â&#x20AC;? features video game-inspired works by a dozen artists. FLICKER THEATRE & BAR (263 W. Washington St.) Paintings by Andy Cherewick. Through December. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Archivesâ&#x20AC;? features paintings created by Stan Mullins over the last decade. Opening reception Dec. 31. Through January. GALLERY@HOTEL INDIGO (500 College Ave.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;From the Beginning: Jack Davisâ&#x20AC;? contains 40 original illustrations. Through December. â&#x20AC;˘ In the GlassCube, a site specific installation called â&#x20AC;&#x153;Contritionâ&#x20AC;? by Thom Houser. GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART (90 Carlton St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Exuberance of Meaning: The Art Patronage of

Culinary Scholarships (The Classic Center) The Classic Center Cultural Foundation is broadening its scholarship program to include $1000 awards for college students pursuing culinary art degrees. Applications due Jan. 10. Performing arts scholarships for high school students are also available. Deadline Mar. 7. Visit website for application, eligibility requirements and audition information. www.classiccenter.com Ripple Effect Film Project (Athens, GA) Filmmakers of all levels of experience can create original short films about water conservation. Finalistsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; films will be screened during the 2014 EcoFocus Film Festival in March. Visit website for rules and entry form. Deadline Jan. 31. www. rippleeffectfilmproject.org f

Catherine the Great (1762â&#x20AC;&#x201C;1796).â&#x20AC;? Through Jan. 5. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Crossroads of Memory: Carroll Cloar and the American South.â&#x20AC;? Through Jan. 5. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Cercle et CarrĂŠ and the International Spirit of Abstract Art.â&#x20AC;? Through Jan. 5. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;objet en mouvement: Early Abstract Film.â&#x20AC;? Through Jan. 5. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Material of Culture: Renaissance Medals and Textiles from the Ulrich A. Middeldorf Collection.â&#x20AC;? Through Jan. 12. â&#x20AC;˘ â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Not Polite to Stare,â&#x20AC;? three short pieces of video art. Opens Jan. 7. Through Mar. 20. THE GRIT (199 Prince Ave.) Paintings by Lucy Calhoun and Sarah Cook. Through Jan. 5. HEALING ARTS CENTRE (834 Prince Ave.) Original paintings, prints and cards by Lara Oshon. Through December. HEIRLOOM CAFE AND FRESH MARKET (815 N. Chase St.) Oil paintings by Mary Porter. Through December. â&#x20AC;˘ Paintings by Leslie Moody. On display beginning Jan. 6. Through January. HENDERSHOTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COFFEE BAR (237 Prince Ave.) RenĂŠ Shoemaker presents 20 linoleum prints on paper centered around cafĂŠ life in France. Through Jan. 4. JITTERY JOEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ALPS (1480 Baxter St.) Gouache, colored pencil and ink pieces by Alex Lutian. JITTERY JOEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DOWNTOWN (297 E. Broad St.) Mixed media paintings by Lea Purvis. Through December. LOFT GALLERY AT CHOPS & HOPS (2 S. Main St., Watkinsville) Watercolor and oil landscape, figurative and still life works by Susie Burch. Through December. LYNDON HOUSE ARTS CENTER (293 Hoyt St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Period Decorative Arts Collection (1840â&#x20AC;&#x201C;1890)â&#x20AC;? includes artifacts related to the historic house. â&#x20AC;˘ Action-themed artwork by students in the Clarke County School District. Through Jan. 20. MADISON MORGAN CULTURAL CENTER (434 S. Main St., Madison) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Masterworks on the Moveâ&#x20AC;? is a traveling exhibition of 35 American paintings from Wesleyan College. Through Jan. 5. MAMA BIRDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GRANOLA (909 E. Broad St.) Artwork by Cameron Bliss Ferrelle, Bob Brussack, Caoimhe Nace, James Fields, Barbara Bendzunas and Annette Paskiewicz. MINI GALLERY (261 W. Washington St.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Woodland Getawayâ&#x20AC;? is a woodland-themed show featuring works by Dena Zilber, Missy Kulik, Emily Lyon, Sara Lee Parker, Simon Hunt, Chris Bradley and others. OCONEE COUNTY LIBRARY (1080 Experiment Station Rd.) Paintings, drawings and sculptures by students and faculty of the University of North Georgia. Through Jan. 7. REPUBLIC SALON (312 E. Broad St.) The paintings of Cody Murray explore the duality of man. SEWCIAL STUDIO (160 Tracy St.) Hand-dyed art quilts by Anita Heady and rust and over-dyed fabric on canvas by Bill Heady. TOWN 220 (220 W. Washington St., Madison) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Vessels and Viewsâ&#x20AC;? is a group show featuring landscape paintings and three-dimensional works. Through Feb. 2. UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST FELLOWSHIP OF ATHENS (780 Timothy Rd.) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Making the Invisible,â&#x20AC;? photographs by Jamie deRevere. Through January. VIVA! ARGENTINE CUISINE (247 Prince Ave.) Pen and ink portraits of musicians by Rita Rogers Marks. Through December. WALKERâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S COFFEE AND PUB (128 College Ave.) Oil and acrylic paintings by Brian MacBeth. Through January. WHITE TIGER (217 Hiawassee Ave.) Paintings by Lizzy Metter. Through December.

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Athens Mothersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Group (Athens Mothers Center) A support and social group for mothers to find out about upcoming events, community resources and more. Children welcome. Meets every Tuesday & Friday, 9:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;11:30 a.m. www.athens ga.motherscenter.org Domestic Violence Support Group (Athens, GA) Support, healing and dinner for survivors of domestic violence. Tuesdays, 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m., in Clarke County. First and Third Mondays, 6:30â&#x20AC;&#x201C;8 p.m., in Madison County. Child care provided. 706-543-3331 (hotline), 706-613-3357, ext. 771 Emotional Abuse Support Group (Athens, GA) Demeaning behavior and hateful words can be just as harmful as punches and kicks. Child care provided. Call for

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17


classifieds

Buy It, Sell It, Rent It, Use It! Place an ad anytime at classifieds.flagpole.com

ď&#x201A;ľ Indicates images available at classifieds.flagpole.com

Real Estate Apartments for Rent Baldwin Village across the street from UGA 1BR $510/ mo. Available now. Manager Keith, (706) 354-4261. Have you seen our website? classifieds. flagpole.com. Check it out today!

Commercial Property Eastside offices for lease 1060 Gaines School Rd. 750 sf. $900/mo. 400 sf. $600/mo. 170 sf. $375/ mo. (706) 546-1615 or athenstownproperties.com. One room approx. 14x14 w/ Half bath. CHAC, super clean. $200/mo. Call Cole, (706) 202-2733.

Office or small retail business located upstairs in a newly re-modeled bar n 1/2 mi. from dwtwn. Watkinsville, US Rt. 441 and GA Rt. 15. Established retail business in downstairs and ar tist studio in back. Located at 100 Barnett Shoals Rd., 500 sf. with 2 rooms, a loft, a closet and a full bath. Plenty of natural light. $650/ mo. (706) 247-5927 or wonderbarn@bellsouth. net

Condos for Rent Just reduced! Investorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s West-side condo. 2BR/2BA, F P, 1 5 0 0 s f . , g r e a t investment, lease 12 mos. at $575/mo. Price in $40s. For more info, call McWaters Realty at (706) 353-2700 or (706) 540-1529.

flagpole classifieds Reach Over 30,000 Readers Every Week! Business Services Real Estate Music For Sale

Half off rent 1st 2 months when you mention this ad! 2BR/2BA & 3BR/2BA duplexes off HWY 441. Pet friendly! Dep. only $250. Rent from $650-750/mo. (706) 5482522.

Houses for Rent 3BR/1BA bungalow in Cobbham neighborhood near Athens Regional Hospital. Lots of amenities. Must see. 225hillcrest@ gmail.com. Pictures a n d m o re i n f o r m a t i o n on Facebook Page: 225 Hillcrest Ave. 3-4BR/2BA. LR, DR, W/D h o o k u p s , D W, b o n u s rms. Screened back porch overlooking creek. Covered parking. 1500 sf. Near Athens Tech. Newly renovated, lawn care. $800/ mo. Avail. Jan 1. (706) 4241571. 5 Pts. off Baxter St. 4BR/2BA, $1200/mo. Call McWaters Realty, (706) 353-2700, (706) 540-1529.

$10 per week $14 per week $16 per week $40 per 12 weeks $5 per week

* Ad enhancement prices are viewable at flagpole.com ** Run-â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Til-Sold rates are for MERCHANDISE ONLY *** Available for individual rate categories only

PLACE AN AD â&#x20AC;˘ At flagpole.com, pay with credit card or PayPal account â&#x20AC;˘ Call our Classifieds Dept. (706) 549-0301 â&#x20AC;˘ Email us at class@flagpole.com

DOWNTOWN LIVING AT ITS FINEST! 32 unique FLOOR PLANS 1 to 4 BR lofts & Flats pool/Fitness/business center walk to campus & downtown

West side, 3BR/1.5BA, HWFlrs., CHAC. Near UGA Health Sciences campus, 3 mi. to Athens Loop. $800/ mo., no smoking. J Swanton Ivy Realty, (706) 207-5649.

Parking & Storage Parking places for rent across from UGA. $30/mo. (706) 354-4261.

Roommates Roommate wanted. 3BR/2BA house next to campus, at UGA baseball field. Walk to class. W/D, DW, CHAC, FP. 135 Northview Dr. $385/mo. Call Terry, (706) 714-1100.

Rooms for Rent

Available Now & for Spring Semester

MORTON SQUARE in

5 Points

NOW LEASING!

2BR/2BA UNITS, FIREPLACE & PARKING

&#SPBE4USFFU "UIFOT ("

Reduced Security Deposit.

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750/month

$

C.Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

Housemate wanted: 1BR in fantastic historic 3BR next to Cobbham. Short walk to Dwntwn., Prince Ave. W/D, CHAC, DW, Wifi. $450/mo. incl. utlities. (706)714-3418.

Sub-lease Graduating in December? Studying abroad in spring? Sublease your house or apartment with Flagpole Classifieds! Visit classifieds.flagpole. com or call (706) 5490301.

For Sale Antiques Antiques & Jewels. Fabulous & unique antique jewelry, furniture, china, oriental rugs & art. Open Tues.â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Sat. 12â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5 p.m. Also open upon request. (706) 340-3717. 290 N. Milledge Ave.

Businesses FLAGPOLE is in the process of moving. But you can still place your Classified Ads online and over the phone! Borders! Pix! and More!

Miscellaneous Archipelago Antiques 24 years of antique and re t ro a r t , f u r n i s h i n g s , re l i g i o s a a n d u n i q u e , decorative treasures of the past. 1676 S. Lumpkin St. (706) 354-4297.

HOUSES & DUPLEXES FOR LEASE

IN OCONEE AND CLARKE COUNTY C. Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

DOWNTOWN BAR

â&#x20AC;˘ Deadline to place ads is 11:00 a.m. every Monday for the following Wednesday issue â&#x20AC;˘ All ads must be prepaid â&#x20AC;˘ Set up an account to review your placement history or replace old ads at flagpole.com

18

Eastside quadraplex, 2BR/2BA, $500/mo. & 2BR/1BA, $475/mo. Eastside duplex, 2BR/1BA & FP, $525/mo. 3BR/2BA & FP, $700/mo. 2BR/2BA condo, Westside, 1200 sf., $600/mo. Call McWaters Realty, (706) 353-2700 or cell, (706) 540-1529.

Dashiell Cottages. Aspiring National Park Service. Wildlife observation, near university. All amenities, all private entrances. Picture windowed loft. Move in $75/ wk. (706) 850-0491.

Employment Vehicles Messages Personals

BASIC RATES* Individual Real Estate Business (RTS) Run-â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Til-Sold** Online Only***

Duplexes For Rent

FLAGPOLE.COM â&#x2C6;&#x2122; DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014

FOR LEASE Broad Street bar with approximately 4800 sq. ft. Perfect dance club across from UGA

Call Bryan Austin @ 706-255-6003

Day trippers visit Neat Pieces in Carlton, GA. Architectural antiques, vintage clothes, books and much more. Only 3 mi. from Watson Mill State Park. Fridayâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Sunday 10â&#x20AC;&#x201C;5. Jimmy, (706) 797-3317. Firewood for sale. Cut up & ready to go. Combination oak & pine. You load & haul. 170 Carter St. $150. (706) 380-4786. Go to Agora! Awesome! Affordable! The ultimate store! Specializing in retro ever ything: antiques, furniture, clothes, bikes, records & players! 260 W. Clayton St., (706) 3160130. Instant cash is now being paid for good vinyl records & CDs in fine condition. Wuxtr y Records, at corner of Clayton & College Dwntn. (706) 369-9428. Locknest is moving & we have salon furnishings for sale! Our prime downtown location is also for rent. Please call (706) 546-7288 or (706) 207-7979 for details.

Music Announcements T h e F l a g p o l e o ff i c e will be closed Monday, December 23â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Friday, December 30. Happy Holidays!

Equipment Nuçiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Space needs your old instruments & music gear! All donations are taxdeductible. Call (706) 2271515 or come by Nuçiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Space, 396 Oconee St.

AVAILABLE NOW

Large 1/BR at Tall Oaks off Baxter St. Enjoy Your Private Outdoor Patio Close to UGA. Rent Includes Water, Garbage, Pest Control & Parking.

Call Today to Come See This Special Location.

C. Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

RIVERS EDGE

LARGE 2BR/2BA TOWNHOUSES AND FLATS $550-$600/mo.

ONLY 2 UNITS LEFT!

C. Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001


Athens Consignments announces an ongoing estate sale of live sound accessories & recording studio equipment. FMI, call (706) 621-7073 or email athensconsignments@ gmail.com.

Instruction Athens School of Music. Instruction in guitar, bass, drums, piano, voice, brass, woodwinds, strings, banjo, mandolin, fiddle & more. From beginner to expert. Instrument repairs avail. Visit www.Athens SchoolofMusic.com, (706) 543-5800.

Services Cleaning Holiday Whole House Cleaning S p e c i a l - 2BR/1BA for $40. Local, independent and very pet and Earth and family friendly cleaning. One time or regular service. Text or Call Nick, (706) 8519087. www.twitter.com/ homeathens.

Jobs

Music Services Fret Shop. Professional guitar repairs & modifications, setups, electronics, precision fretwork. Previous clients incl. R.E.M., Widespread Panic, Cracker, Bob Mould, John Berry, Abbey Road Live!, Squat. (706) 5491567. T h e F l a g p o l e o ff i c e will be closed Monday, December 23â&#x20AC;&#x201C;Friday, December 30. Happy Holidays! Do you want to make $ $ $ with your m u s i c related business? Are you advertising in Flagpole? Call (706) 549-0301 for details. Or go online anytime at classifieds. flagpole.com Wedding bands. Quality, professional bands. Weddings, parties. Rock, jazz, etc. Call Classic City Entertainment. ( 7 0 6 ) 5 4 9 - 1 5 6 7 . w w w. classiccityentertainment. com. Featuring The Magictones - Athensâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; premiere wedding & party band. www.themagictones. com.

1 BR s 5 POINTS AREA s UGA & CITY BUS LINE FURNISHED & UNFURNISHED ON SITE LAUNDRY s SWIMMING POOL DBSPVTFMWJMMBHFOFUt

5!CS!0!4!CB CLOSE TO DOWNTOWN ON SIMMONS STREET AVAILABLE NOW!

ÂŁĂ&#x192;Ă&#x152;Ă&#x160;" /Ă&#x160;6 Ă&#x160;, /Â&#x2021;, tĂ&#x160;UĂ&#x160;$900/MONTH

Full-time C a l l c e n t e r re p re s e n t a t i v e . Join established Athens company calling CEOs & CFOs of major corporations generating sales leads for tech companies. $10/ hr. BOS Staffing, www. bostemps.com, (706) 3533030. classifieds.flagpole.com Line/Prep Cooks N e e d e d The Georgia Center has several positions available 20â&#x20AC;&#x201C;40 hrs./week. Pay DOE/Minimum 3 years in full service restaurant. Email resumes to robh@ uga.edu.

Opportunities Looking for individuals to install flagpoles & flags t h ro u g h o u t t h e U n i t e d States of America. Must have own pickup truck & tools. Experience is reqâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d. $100/day. Call (800) 4266235.

Bloomfield Terrace & The Springdale

LIVE IN 5 POINTS

s"2"! s"2"! s7ALKTO5'! AND$OWNTOWN s#ALLFOR(OLIDAY 3PECIALS $/.4-)33/54

C. Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

C.Hamilton & Associates 706-613-9001

DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T BE LEFT HOMELESS! 706-613-CRIB www.fredshp.com

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Downtown Space for the Human Raceâ&#x20AC;?

Downtown Lofts Available PRELEASE NOW For Fall!

AT H I C A s e e k s G a l l e r y Director; start date February 1, 2014. For application info please visit: www.athica.org (no calls please).

Modern Age is hiring again! PT/FT positions avail. Bring resumes into Modern Age. No phone calls. Part-time business m a n a g e r, C a n o p y Studio. 10 hrs. a week. Send inquiries to info@ canopystudio.org for more information.

Part-time F a n t a s y Wo r l d ! H i r i n g private lingerie models. Good earning potential. No experience needed. Flexible scheduling. Call (706) 613-8986 or visit us at 1050 Baxter St., Athens.

The

office

will be CLOSED

DEC. 23-30

to celebrate the holidays...

Notices Personals

Get paid to type! SBSA is a financial transcription company offering PT positions. Create your own schedule. Competitive productionb a s e d p a y. C l o s e t o campus! Must be able to touch-type 65 wpm & have excellent English grammar/comprehension skills. Visit our website to apply: www.sbsgrp.com.

Send a message through Flagpole Classifieds!

\ / -->*<-/_\ /_\_\ /_/_/_\ /_\_\_\ /_/_/_/_\ /_\_\_\_\ /_/_/_/_/_\ /_\_\_\_\_\ /_/_/_/_/_/_\ /_\_\_\_\_\_\ /_/_/_/_/_/_/_\ [___] HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Week of 12/23/13 - 12/29/13

The Weekly Crossword 1

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Copyright 2013 by The Puzzle Syndicate

62 63 64 65 66 67

Kitten sound Flight segment Sitting Bull, e.g. Can't stand PBS news program Jagged peak Openly defy Rehab candidate Bill of fare No-good sort Refinery residue Advantage Shoe part Day saver

DOWN 1 Heavy reading? 2 Baker's need 3 Wise one 4 Modify, as a bill 5 Guild member 6 Airborne force 7 Island town in "Jaws" 8 Prime for picking 9 Golfer's peg 10 Without delay, to a Brit 11 Armoire feature 12 Extinct bird 13 Wintry weather 21 Snooker stick 22 Guiding principle

24 25 26 27 29 30 31 32 34 36 38 42 43 47 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 60

Place for eggs Weather system Condor's home Slangy opposite of 'tis Ship captain's place Steel girder High-society group Take more Time? The Ten Commandments Number in a Dickens title Antisocial sort Root beer brand Wyeth or Warhol Elmore Leonard's "___ Shorty" Baby's woe Poker hand Top spot Raised, as bulldogs Send to the gallows Broadway disaster Castaway's home Within earshot Therefore Winter bug

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ACROSS 1 Clothing for Claudius 5 Word with fall or pick 10 Racetrack figures 14 Egg, to a biologist 15 Linenlike fabric 16 Wild West shootout time 17 Paltry 18 Worthless talk 19 Type of list 20 Speak clearly 22 Afghan, e.g. 23 "Wishin' and Hopin'" singer Springfield 24 Match, in poker 25 Diet no-no 28 Corn serving 29 Burro's basket 33 Tackle a tome 35 Hard to miss 37 Projecting window 39 One of Pooh's pals 40 Promotional item 41 Doofus 44 After the buzzer 45 Lockjaw 46 Playground game

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by Margie E. Burke

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Week of 12/30/13 - 1/5/14

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ACROSS 1 Romanov ruler 5 Stuffed shirt 9 Lent activity 13 Caulking fiber 15 Curtain fabric 16 Quite fond of 17 Scythe-carrying figure 19 CARE concern 20 Stray, in a way 21 Monthly expense 22 Dionysus devotee 24 Ten-speed 25 To start with 26 Plant shoot 29 Recipient's reply 31 Driver's license datum 33 Historic time 34 Right on the map? 38 Clumsy one 39 Contract adverb 42 Grazing site 43 Entreaty 45 Kind of trip 46 Blackboard necessity 48 Vegas industry 51 Ecosystem 52 In addition 55 SWAT operation

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Copyright 2013 by The Puzzle Syndicate

57 ThinkPad, for one 58 Facebook activity 59 Sassy talk 62 Square footage 63 Pharmacist, long ago 66 Trellis piece 67 Musical symbol 68 Bit of gossip 69 Daycare denizen 70 Bout-ending blow 71 Window glass

18 Cartoonish squeal 23 Ararat lander 24 Word with bang or band 25 Cabbie's customer 26 Mall tenant 27 Bell sound 28 Widespread 30 Marsh wader 32 Disneyland, e.g. 35 Furthermore 36 Appear (to be) 37 Box's weight 40 Protection 41 NASA vehicle DOWN 44 Rile up 1 Clothing, slangily 47 Give a hand 2 Rani's wrap 49 Ruckus 3 Related (to) 50 Small cave 4 Daiquiri 52 Great time 53 Before the bell ingredient 5 Mercury or 54 Canine Saturn command 6 Engrossed 56 Shade of blond 7 Hotel freebie 58 Small flower 8 Sprout bouquet 9 Tactful handling 59 Dalai ____ 10 Regarding, 60 Club at a club old-style 61 Fiery stack 11 Great bargain 64 Soup veggie 12 Hot spicy drink 65 Stanley or 14 Dream guy Ryder

Crossword puzzle answers are available at www.flagpole.com/crossword

DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014 ¡ FLAGPOLE.COM

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Thanks from Slackpole! Again this year we asked our readers to help us slack off for the holidays by writing a big Slackpole chunk of this double issue of Flagpole. Again, you came through with a wonderful diversity of good writing, photographs and art—more, in fact, than we can cram into this issue. See Slackpole online for more of these contributions, and some of them may show up in later issues of Flagpole. Thanks for helping us enjoy the holidays and for making it so much easier to get the paper out prior to taking off, when we were also busy packing for our move to our new building at 220 Prince Ave., where we should be open for business Jan. 2—new address, same phone and fax numbers. [A note about the Slackpole cover: every week when we “dummy” the paper, Production Director Larry Tenner makes a little sketch of the cover in its place on the dummy. This Slackpole cover, compared to the cover of this issue of Flagpole, will show you just what a good eye Larry has. Enjoy this, the first-ever show of Tenner’s Tiny Flagpole Fronts.]

Fish Tale By Bruce Miller My fishing skills and experiences are very limited, but I really do like the stories I’ve heard from those who enjoy one of the world’s oldest sports. Any way you look at them they are fishy stories. My good friend, Ronald, who claims that when he got married his wife cut his hunting and fishing back from seven days a week to merely five, told me this angling story. He had gone river fishing and had steered his boat into a slough along the river’s edge, where he had been casting for bass with little success when he saw a huge fox squirrel in the branches directly above him. The temptation was just too great, so he pulled out his automatic pistol and shot the critter. That squirrel fell straight down into the boat. Ronald heard a boat motor start up just around the bend up the river, and the sound of a large boat was drawing near. Fearing that the boat might be a game warden, he quickly grabbed up the fallen squirrel and stuffed it into his tackle box which was standing open on the boat seat. He closed the lid on the tackle box and hid the gun. When the approaching boat rounded the bend and came into the slough, it sure enough was the game warden, and he stopped to inquire about the sound of gunfire. Ronald told the warden that he, too, had heard a shot, but he also heard a boat start up and leave downriver. (Fishermen are quick thinkers and fast talkers.) The warden, after checking his license and believing his story, took off downriver to look for the phantom gunman.

After the sound of the game warden’s boat faded off in the distance, Ronald decided to check out his prey, but as he opened his tackle box he was totally surprised. The squirrel had only been stunned by the bullet, and when it was put into the tackle box, it had recovered and then had become entangled in a mass of hooks, lines, sinkers and lures. When the box was opened, out jumped the frightened squirrel. It hopped right overboard and began to swim off. Ronald was very disappointed. Not only had his poached squirrel gotten away, but it had just taken his best lures and tackle with it. Then an incredible thing happened. A huge fish snatched one of the lures and started tugging on it; then another fish struck another lure, and together they pulled the tangle of lines and lures off the squirrel. The little squirrel, who had twice escaped impending doom, swam to safety and scrambled up the nearest tree. It paused for a moment at the base, looked over towards the boat, then scampered into the branches, where it sought refuge. Meanwhile, a third and fourth fish that had been attracted by the moving lures gobbled up the enticing rubber worms and minnow replicas and fought against each other to get away after sensing their predicament. In a short time all of the hooks had fish, and then they became tangled on an upright log. Ronald paddled over and hoisted the fish into his boat. All told, 10 fine bass had been caught, thanks to the frightened little squirrel. To this day, my friend will not shoot a squirrel. (Fishermen learn from their mistakes.)

by Blane Marable

Looking Like Chechnya By Bowen Craig Recently, I’ve noticed a disturbing architectural trend in Athens, and, now that I’ve noticed it, I can’t not see it everywhere. I’m talking about the watchtowers. They’re everywhere. Little crows nests stick up on top of malls, schools and banks. They’re windowed. They’re too small to be actually used for any conscious purpose I can see. They do, however, send us a strong, subconscious message. Fire stations have often had these, but that makes sense. Those guys might need to look for fires. It helps to spot fires if you’re up high. That makes sense. There’s one on top of an AT&T office in Alps Village. That does not make sense. Are they on the lookout for the invading hordes of Verizon Wireless? At the corner of Baxter Street and Alps Road, at the redlight, you can actually see three watchtowers if you angle yourself just right. One’s over AT&T. One is over Willy’s Mexican restaurant at Beechwood, and one is over Alps Road elementary school. I don’t know if there’s just one architectural firm that designs these buildings and adds these watchtowers. Maybe it’s part of a master plan. Maybe it’s coincidence or just a part of a new architectural trend. What I do know is that watchtowers inspire fear. They have had their uses throughout

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history, mainly as places where people with guns can sit up high and look for the approaching enemy. There are still some WWII towers on the northern Atlantic coast, which were used to look for Nazi ships. But who’s the enemy in downtown Athens? Are we concerned about those damned Watkinsvillians coming in and taking our jobs? The psychology of architecture is one of the many things that you don’t notice but that has immense power nonetheless. The next time you get a gut feeling when you walk into a room or a building, look around. Check out the scenery. It all has an effect on you. I’m pretty sure that the intended effect of the watchtowers is to scare you into shopping more. It’s ridiculous. People are still going to shop whether they’re afraid or not. We don’t need to be scared into shopping. Sure, that’s what former President George W. Bush told us to do after 9/11 to keep the terrorists from “winning,” but he also told us to use duct tape to protect ourselves from chemical weapons attacks. I just do not see any need for the watchtowers. I suppose the mildly medieval aura they give off is interesting, but I still believe that they’re a fear-based architectural styling. I could be wrong. Maybe the Bogart militia is gathering for an invasion.


slackpole word search F G Y F E D O O N O T H I N G B M E J I

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N W S Y A X T E M P O R M E E K V Z A M

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Skinny M*th*rf*cker By Rob White ‘80s kid. Big, broad-chested heroes: He-Man, Lion-o, Duke from GI Joe. Those are the guys. Those are the dudes who save the world. I run around like a maniac, beating my sunken chest and swinging my wooden sword and kicking invisible ass. One day I’ll be that dude. One day I’ll save the world and get the girl. Middle school hits, and I see everyone getting bigger. Skinny kids I knew become broad chested athletes, their muscles puffed up with testosterone and confidence. Girls’ chests get bigger, too. Don’t think I don’t notice that. I run home and rip my shirt off and stare at the mirror, flexing my pale arms and waiting for the day my shoulders get broad and my arms get big and that confidence follows. Didn’t happen. By high school, I’m still a skinny motherfucker. Surrounded by hulking brutes filled with alcohol and cockiness, I begin to think that “Faggot” is my real name and everybody knows it but me. I like the girls. Love them, in fact, but the swelling chests and flowing hair and tramp stamp tattoos never give me a lick of attention. Seems to them, I’m just a skinny motherfucker. I work out some and eat more but soon I realize that looking like He-Man or Lion-O is never going to be in the genetic cards. Wrists will always be thin and jawline will always be soft and chest will always be narrow. Fair enough. I survive high school and the seemingly neverending chorus of, “Faggot!” and get to college. Girls talk to me now, because I’m the quiet, artistic type. I catch a girlfriend on a rebound once her six-foot-tall guitar playing boyfriend dumps her. She’s a goth girl. They like skinny guys, right? I lose my virginity. It’s nothing too memorable, but at least I can say I’ve seen one of those swelling chests in person now. “It’s cute that I can put my arms around you,” she says. Two months later she leaves me for a fat guy. I notice a pattern emerging after that. Girls show interest in me; girls sleep with me or make out with me, then girls lose interest when a bigger, handsomer dude shows interest in them, and I am perpetually friend-zoned. “You’re my best friend!” they say. “I can tell you anything!” they say. “I’m so glad I can cuddle with you and it not be weird!” I start to get a sense of how primal urges work. Most women want a genetically desirable mate just as most men do. I seem to be the genetically desirable “non threatening best friend who I sometimes make out with when I’m drunk.”

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Now let me stop right here and say that I damn well know that I’m generalizing like a son-of-a-bitch. There are girls who love skinny guys. There are skinny guys who love large women. There are girls who love large women and there are large men who love other large men. That said, we live in a society where the Alpha Male archetype is always rocking a six pack and the Alpha Female is always blonde with a skinny waist and a disproportionate cup size. Those of us on the fringe of these unfair expectations learn to adapt. We learn to look for the other weirdos like us. For every skinny motherfucker there’s a woman with a cuddly figure or a man with too many freckles or a girl with small boobs and all of us had to get used to being called our equivalent of “faggot” during high school, and all of us are used to living in the friend zone. Hell, some of us own a timeshare there. Me, I find small boobs sexy. Freckles are hot, and I love cuddling. So, hell yeah I’m a skinny motherfucker. I have thin wrists and a narrow chest and knobby knees, and you know what? I can save the world with the best of them.

Bill’s Top Seven or Eight By Lynn Hatmaker Overheard at a Christmas party: • “We’ll just put in an appearance.” • “Don’t feel like you have to entertain us.” • “You both look like you could use some eggnog.” • “OMG, I just unfriended half the people here!” • “Don’t take this personally, but you have cookie breath.” • “I never noticed you have green eyes. How festive!” • “I had no idea he was your ex-husband.” • “Well, we got that one out of the way.” Christmas gift exchange: • “Are we doing a ham for everybody, or is it gonna be ‘Hunger Games’?” • “Sorry, but my Kickstarter campaign for your gift went nowhere.” • “Even my building super gave me an Xmas card—is that weird?” • “I hope you didn’t get me anything special.” • “Why, it’s a sausage log! You really shouldn’t have.” • “You can always return it.” • “Before you go—here, take this home. It’s from Claxton, GA.”

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Take Action Now By Mark Bromberg I walked out of Hendershot’s into bright afternoon sun and a cold wind on Prince Avenue, warmed by coffee and an hour’s catch-up on Facebook. It was all very comforting in its way, the familiar stressed-out complaints from friends and status updates from the usual cast of characters. Here was a midlife crisis; there, some topical, hot political outrage. A link to click on and “Take Action Now” for a worthwhile cause. Family photo updates, too: A report from my nephew and his family in Seattle was followed by pictures of my niece and her daughter smiling from a warm, sunny schoolroom in Colombia. The universe was spinning along quite nicely the week before Thanksgiving. I thought just maybe I could get in some early Christmas shopping on a Wednesday at noon. Forty degrees. I buttoned my big leather coat, wrapped the red scarf around my neck to ward of the wind, pulled tight on my knit cap and walked across the street to wait for the Health Sciences bus. I saw Mary, one of the regular UGA bus riders, at the stop in front of Taqueria Del Sol. She wore sweatpants and a thin blue windbreaker, open to the cold, and there was a big shopping bag at her feet. She had an instant, broad smile when she saw me walk up, a familiar face she knew. “Have you been down to lunch at the church yet?” she asked. I laughed. “Well, no, not… “ “A friend told me it’s good today,” she continued. “They got roast beef and green beans. Mashed potatoes and gravy.” “That sounds warm,” I said. “And a real treat for desert, too: banana pudding. You still got time; they serve ’til one o’clock.” “That’s from Our Daily Bread?” “That’s right, serve every day. They’re at First Baptist now.” “Ah, that’s right, after Oconee Street United Methodist burned. I helped serve meals there a few times with a friend and his wife. I bet First Baptist is a little easier to get to.” “Uh-huh, never missed a day. They good people. What did you do? I see you limping.” “Oh, cerebral palsy, I was born with it.” She smiled a bit. “Well, you do pretty well with it then. How old are you?” It was my turn to smile. “I’m 61.” “You walk pretty good. Me, I’m 46, but I feel a lot older’n that some days.” The bus came along, and we sat together. She told me about her family, her diabetes (“my sugar problems”), showed me where three bottom teeth were gone. When we got to the Health Sciences campus I got up to leave. “Bye now, Mary,” I said. Mary put her hand on my arm. “It’s early, we can still make it back down to the church. I haven’t eaten yet.” She looked up at me standing above her. “You got to go? It’s pretty windy today,” she said looking out the window, as if she was delivering a weather forecast. “Well, sun’s out. That’s good.” She smiled again. Students were busy swirling around us, getting on and off the bus in gusts of winter jackets, hats and scarves.

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“Take Action Now… “ I sat back down. “Sure,” I finally said, “I’ve got the time.” Mary sat in a spot of sunlight with her hands resting on the shopping bag. “Oh that’s nice,” she said, happily, as the bus moved off and swung back around to Prince Avenue.

Telling Jokes To Crazies By Walker Smith I am a stand-up comedian. I have been for several years. People don’t seem to like comics that much in a music town. I’ve heard people disappointed that we’re taking up stages that otherwise could have housed another trust-fund-kid’s noise-rock side project, often right behind me seconds before I go onstage. And I’ve got a slight resume, but it’s heavy with weird credentials. I played a house party / music festival in Addieville without a microphone, shouting my jokes to confused kids on a lawn. A friend of mine came to a show I helped organize and ended up telling jokes from on top of a drum kit because the crowd was yelling too much. It helped that they told her to kill herself. How did a town like Athens prepare me for that insanity? Because Athens has OpenTOAD. If you don’t know, OpenTOAD is Athens’ longest-running comedy open mic, and it is a beautiful thing. It was the first brush any of the comedians from Athens—and there are more than you’d think—had with true insanity. There’s something about a place where everybody can get up on stage that encourages basically everybody to get on stage. There was a semi-coherent drug dealer who used to show up. He was tattooed and tended to take his shirt off. He called himself the

FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014

Tupac of comedy. No one has any idea what that means, and in any case he’s in jail now. Once a man who may have been schizophrenic ran long and made everyone uncomfortable. The next month, I made a deal with myself that I would stay in the room for his opening line, but leave immediately if it seemed too awful. He opened with “I’m gonna talk about shoes and Jews!” I didn’t stay to hear the second sentence. The show isn’t like that now, but what it is is better. There’s a following: groups that always show up in force. There are new folks seeing whether they have what it takes every single time. Some of them are finding their feet as performers, and that is a beautiful thing to see. It’s become a welcoming home and a place for fearless experimentation. It’s a shelter for funny folks in a town that prefers the empty, arty faces of rock bands whose fans don’t dance. It taught me how to host a show, how to perform and how to be in the audience and watch someone grow in front of my eyes. And, also, it’s twice a month at Flicker, and the beer is cheap. Maybe we’ll see each other babbling nonsense there some night.

Limey By Connor Kythas As I sat near the Arch, waiting on the old Athens Transit 12 bus, I couldn’t help but notice the homeless man staring at me. It was dark, and it was just me and him at the stop. I would’ve been worried if he was any bigger. The man stood about 5’4” and weighed maybe 130 pounds. “Limey?” he asked suddenly. “Limey? Thatchu?” “Umm… no sir,” I answered.

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slackpole word search I N N D G H O U S E S H O W T E P E

B R H W G A K A W A R D S U S C C I

H T T P O G V D F Z Q Y Q T E Q B A

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“Oh thank God! Thought you was Limey! Limey’s not happy with me!” “No sir,” I said uneasily. “You ever hear ‘bout Ol’ Limey? Toughest bastard this side a the Miss’ssippi! Once fought off a whole pack a stray dogs butt nekkid!” “Really?” I asked, intrigued. “He a friend of yours?” “I used to live with that sumbitch! Crazy bastard once ate a whole Doc Marten in one sitting! Just sat and ate it piece by piece! Hell, I once saw him bite a raccoon’s neck just for lookin’ at ‘im wrong!” “That sounds… umm… is he still like… roaming the streets?” “Nah, Ol’ Limey up and died last year. He was nine years old,” “So… how old was he when he fought all those strays?” “Seven!” “That’s terrifying. How did he die?” “Old age, I guess. Nine’s old fer a German Shepherd. That yer bus?” he said, pointing. It was. “Oh he was a German She… wait, what?” I exclaimed. As I stood up to board the bus, I was more confused than ever. “Why did you mistake me for a dead German Shepherd you used to own?” He paused to think, scratching his scraggly beard. “I guess cuz I’m hella stoned, man.” I never saw him again.

ToBy Dan Butt or Not To Butt Johnson It was a slow Saturday in Normaltown. I was blasting CDs trying to make my 7 p.m. closing at Normal News and considering the possibility of a PBR from Allen’s to help me through the afternoon. Then a couple of 20-ish looking young women came through the door. They approached the counter, and one of them asked for a pack of Marlboro Lights. I asked her for an ID, and she produced her driver’s license. I did the math, and she had turned 18 three months earlier. I told her how unattractive cigarettes are and that she should give them up while she still could. She just stared at me with an incredulous look on her face. I laid the pack of butts on the counter, she handed me her money, turned and left without another word. A short time later I was pleasantly surprised to see my old friend Dewdrop looking through the door. She came in with a sly grin on her face. “I just had lunch with my nieces up at the café,” she smirked. “They came down here and got a pack of cigarettes. I asked them who was working, and they said they didn’t know: just some mean old asshole.” We both laughed. She came closer and putting her hands on my shoulders gave me a quick kiss on the lips. Damn. It’s great being 50.

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The Season of Light By Laura Love It was late December 2001 and I was going to Mexico. Under the influence of the various Carlos Castenada books, I wanted to test his description of “little smoke,” particularly the ingredient of peyote. This was my time to seek it out, to experience the enlightenment Castenada promised it provided. I targeted the Huichol tribe as the one closest to his descriptions. They live in dry, mountainous terrain, standoffish to outsiders. Two facts positively supported that I had selected the right group in the right location to see if Castenada’s descriptions were accurate. The village I chose to visit was La Mesa de Nayar. High up and difficult to access, it promised an adventure, even if my calculations were off. Indeed, the calculations were off, because the Cora, not the Huichol, live in La Mesa del Nayar. The trip there was everything I expected for a lead-up to a great adventure. The bus took the mountainous curves on two wheels and firm belief in God’s protection. Partway through the trip, the bus broke down. After surveying the underside to locate the problem, the drivers ascertained that it was due to very large scorpions that had set up a nest along the axles. Yes, even a greater affirmation that this was the adventure I anticipated. About six hours later, as I was careening toward the throes of motion sickness, we arrived. The village had only a modest church and a few houses where people constantly resided. The rest of the buildings were three-sided shelters where Cora families stayed to celebrate important days. Of course, I hadn’t really planned on a place to stay, because that would be outside the rules of a true adventure. I believed that a pension or some resemblance of a hotel would be there. There was none. I went to the only public establishment, a sort of restaurant, to await what sort of accommodations would appear. I had chosen the right place, because the co-owner of the restaurant lived about 100 feet away across a very dusty, flatter area that worked as a major thoroughfare in La Mesa del Nayar. As night set in, meaning 6 p.m., the village became dark, very dark. You see, La Mesa del Nayar did not have electricity. Whatever lights appeared did so with the power of generators. And generators only ran at very important times, like when food needed to be cooked. But this year was going to be a great change, because electricity was finally coming to La Mesa del Nayar. The residents of the mesa could begin living beyond the constraints of a very, very dark life between the times of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. Wow! I had never set up an adventure to be at the day when a life-changing revolution like electricity happened. I talked about the change with the owners of the restaurant. Of course, an event of this significance warranted a good party. I reconciled that it would be a small party, rather than the feast of dancing I envisioned, since most Cora do

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not associate with people outside their region. And, I was definitely not regional nor a Cora Anticipating the grand event, we plugged a radio into the outlet that soon would be surging with government-generated electricity, not diesel-generated electricity. We prepared the lights so that we could easily flip them on sometime around the specified time of the great change. After all, the exact time would be like the bus schedules: somewhere around the exact time. A street light had been erected at the end of the loosely defined road to meet the need of people shuffling to the bus stop in thick darkness. This would be the signal. The light came on slightly after 7 p.m. The radio woke up sputtering bad music through static. Energy surged through the electric lines—noiseless, fumeless energy. We flipped the switch for the lights. And then we danced. Life after 6 p.m. had finally arrived in La Mesa del Nayar. Enlightenment I sought had arrived, not through a wild ride of peyote through my veins, but through the power lines running out of the valleys to the remoteness of La Mesa del Nayar.

Told to Cecil By Thomas Wenzka His war stories had become part of my memory over my years of boyhood service as the reluctant apprentice in his basement workshop. Pa’s colorful Navy stories of the sea war in the Atlantic, Mediterranean and Caribbean had kept me awake late into the evening while fixing appliances and building bikes for my sister and me from parts recycled by him from trash piles as he patrolled the village streets as a nightshift cop. Twentyfive years of listening to versions told to his WW2 buddies and competing with those of his tailgunner veteran brother at family get-togethers left me with accounts I can still recite and retell to this day, 36 years after he passed. His description of the wartime neardeath experiences underwater while diesel fuel burned above had far predated the “near-death experience” concept. His

most celebrated roles had focused on fixing shot-up naval aircraft to return to duty and engaging in general shipboard duties, but I identified most with his pride and pleasure serving as night-time lookout during many beautiful and some stormy nights at sea. His and my pride stemmed from the

uncannily excellent night vision that he had and had passed on to me. Fast forward to 1971, an icily distant time between us, following his disappointment after I had abandoned my first college year ROTC in favor of antiwar activity. My move from the family home during application for draft board recognition of conscientious objection in 1969 had been aimed at hiding the application from his wrath and disappointment, but Ma had leaked the news. He had risen and dragged Ma out from my 1970 college graduation a few days after Kent State because of its raucous antiwar outbursts and my wearing of a white arm band with the graduation robe. None of this was ever discussed until that following Thanksgiving, following the draft board’s granting me 1-A-O status. Pa stated during his lengthy dinner toast, “I don’t agree with your conscientious objection but do respect it.” Then, a short time later, Cecil, Pa and I sat in the family living room. My casual friend Cecil was the buffer, unknowingly invited to maintain that non-discussing distance with Pa while visiting the old folks. After all, Cecil was a Vietnam vet, recently returned and eager to engage in war storytelling with Pa, while I could safely mind-wander. But a new war story—no, I was sure I had heard and memorized them all—was being told, but only to Cecil. Now Pa, when storytelling, commanded the whole room. This time, however, the story was directed at just one person, Cecil. It must have been painful for Pa not to command his whole audience, but he persisted in earnest. It’s an early seaside base camp in the invasion of Italy with Pa on nightwatch duty. Rustling noises and vague movement at the perimeter lead to his “Halt! Halt! Halt or I’ll shoot!” And then he shoots. Shoots twice. Others assemble with lights, and the body of a must-beteenaged soldier in German uniform is identified. The story proceeds to: “This is why my police service revolver has always been set to twice the pounds of trigger pull, and it’s stopped me twice from shooting a threatening suspect.” The latter had been told so many times but never connected to the nightwatch-in-Italy story. Later, without words, we bear-hugged as I left. Thanksgiving season always takes me back to this.

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slackpole word search I N N D G H O U S E S H O W T E P E

B R H W G A K A W A R D S U S C C I

H T T P O G V D F Z Q Y Q T E Q B A

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C C U L D U O L C M G N C R F S T Q

J E S I L O P O R C E T B L O U S Y

Poems By Bert Richmond winter cameo Drifted snow lies quietly on the fields white-gloved embracing earth and trees warming beneath its brilliance tombs of those who left. Blue-green stream with cheeks of ice shimmering in sunlight babbles its story, born of lightning and thunder, runs its race to the sea.

bird-watching Bay-breasted nuthatch trampolining in my holly tree, jauntily bouncing from one green toe-hold to another. Each day I watch the red holly berries gorged as gourmet delights— leaving my winter-long Christmas tree stripped of its ornaments. Arrogant your head-first march down the trunk—barely a wink my way at the window. Now, upside down, clinging to prickly holly leaf, another red-plum berry disappears into a pulse beat that races from chin to bay breast. An acrobatic flip-fly and yards away another green branch sways as you ride out its teeter-tottering, gazing at your holly haven. A quick song of feasting launches your flight nestward.

la promesa Together under the jacaranda tree as the sun fades beyond the mountain gray-orange, pillow-rumpled sky brown of her arms his dancing dreams under the blooming jacaranda

P D A S N I A R G D O O W A E N F J

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DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM

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snapped for slackpole by Alison Phillips

Seed Count By Darrell Kinsey I found the house empty when I came home for Thanksgiving 2004. I thought my parents knew when I was showing up, and I thought there might be some kind of little reception. The days leading up to the break had me dilapidated, and I regretted the days, and the days had me humbled. The last thing at work that broke me all the way down was a small thing. It was a tangerine with 27 seeds. In that state, I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t capable of dealing with so many. If I had been in better shape, I may not have even counted them, and I probably would not have left them on the break room counter arranged to spell such a filthy word. I stood in the front hallway of my parentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; house with my eyes caught on the antique chair. The upholstery is gold with a repeating pattern of onions and crowns. When I was small, I thought of the chair as a stately throne, and it was a good place to make up hums and daydreams. I put my duffel bag down and got on my knees beside the chair. It seemed to me like I might still be able to fit into it the old way, which was to climb in from the side up underneath the armrest. I put my head and my left arm in, pushed myself forward and twisted my torso. My right arm got pinned behind my body, and I felt the wooden edges of the frame against my ribcage. Still I thought I could make it, and I worked my way in tighter. The creaking sound was either the old chair or my skeleton. Panicthoughts kept overtaking calmer thoughts, and I saw visions of drastic options: emergency responders on the scene or me trying to wear the chair out back to the shed in search of a saw. I heard through the wall the motor lowering the garage door, then bags and keys rattling in the back of the house. They were calling my name, and they were about to discover me, so I yelled out my location and asked them to please stay back if they would. They wanted to know why. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve gotten myself in a weird situation.â&#x20AC;? Their voices had been coming through the dining room. They were just out of view around the corner. I sat there listening, waiting for them to leave the area, but I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hear any footsteps. â&#x20AC;&#x153;You havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t gone anywhere, have you?â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;No, we havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t,â&#x20AC;? my dad said. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Whatever it is, we want to help if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll let us.â&#x20AC;? It had been a long time since either of my parents had really touched my body in any way. Now they both had their hands on me. They were pushing me and working. They got me turned, but then my head was being pressed. My dad had to fold my ear down for me and hold it like that while my mom helped me ease the rest of the way free. I was embarrassed to have needed help like that, but I hadnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t minded their hands on me.

That throne chair played another crucial role in the festivities that year. Just when we were about to sit down to Thanksgiving dinner, the doorbell rang. In the driveway, a few days earlier, Mom had casually invited L.G. over to eat the holiday meal with us. He was an elderly ex-minister who lived alone next door. Mom didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think he would really come over, but there he was ringing the doorbell just as the oven timers were going off. He came inside carrying an odd little wad of yard trash and feathers, and he was wearing a plaid shirt, cardigan and khakis, which my sister pointed out to everyone was nearly the same outfit I was wearing. L.G. called the thing he carried a centerpiece and dropped it in the middle of the dining room table. My mom complimented the feathers, saying they were so long and beautiful. L.G. apologized. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m afraid theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re most likely buzzard feathers,â&#x20AC;? he said, and I saw my momâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eyes noting the proximity of the piece to the nearest casserole. We didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have enough places set, and a general scramble ensued with plates and places getting swapped. Someone grabbed for L.G. the throne chair out of the front hall, and they ended up squeezing him in at the table right next to me. At first I was nervous about what to talk about with him. Then I realized L.G. was the type of fellow who probably wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mind hearing about a tangerine with an usually high seed count.

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In the early 1950s, I spent part of each summer with my grandparents, Nana and Papa, who lived in Shady Dale, GA, then a busy little farming community. Located between Monticello and Madison, it boasted six or seven stores connected by a raised wooden sidewalk on one side of the road and a community center, the Methodist church and a filling station/store/cafĂŠ on the other side of Highway 83. The town was busy, with a post office run by Miss Dorothy that was daily visited for mail and gossip. The only brick building was the bank, which had failed in the early â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;20s and was still distrusted by some. As the oldest grandchild, I was known as â&#x20AC;&#x153;Little Emilyâ&#x20AC;? (after my mother) and treated like a princess whenever Papa took me to town. I quickly learned to be careful about voicing admirations too enthusiastically, as Papa would buy me whatever I wanted. The store where the men gathered had a barrel of pickles with a fork tied to the side, penny candies behind a glass case and a pot belly stove circled by wooden, canebottomed chairs in winter. Stories abounded and grew better

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Christmas Tree-cycling Event

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DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014 · FLAGPOLE.COM

29


slackpole

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with each telling. Farming news and opinions were mixed with local gossip and politics. Helping with farm chores was a wonder of learning. Animals were either working partners or cared for wards. Pets were workers, with dogs herding or alerting and cats “mousing.” Mules—Queenie and Pat—pulled the plow for planting and the wagon for all kinds of tasks. Pigs produced an amazing number of piglets, and cows seemed always to be relaxed and eating/chewing. Days started early when Papa awoke at 4 a.m. to milk the cows before letting them into one of the pastures and then driving to Warner Robins for work. Once, when my Atlanta-raised father was visiting, a cow had trouble birthing her calf, and my father never forgot how calmly Papa pulled up his pickup, reached up into the cow, tied the rope around the calf and carefully used the truck to pull it out. Much of the day was spent in either the slow assembly of all that was needed to do a deed that my own family did by machine or to make a product my family bought at the store. For instance, the well was located down the hill and across the road. Seemed like getting water was a constant task, but I always wanted to go with whoever was going, because peering into the depths of the well and having the “talk of the walk” were pleasures to me. Water was raised from the well by one bucket and poured into another for carrying back to the house. It was cold and sweet. My grandfather made sure all the buckets were filled before he left for work. Nana also rose early to revive the fire in the cooking stove, get the bacon from the smoke house and the eggs from the hen house. (When I was so young I could look straight into the oven fire, I was sure that must be what Hell looked like.) Breakfast always included homemade biscuits. Eggs were fresh, fruits and vegetables in season were served with every meal and canned treasures were served up in winter. My favorite meal was vegetable soup with corn bread, and Nana made a huge pot for me to eat all week. (I was in middle school before I realized that Nana had always doubled the icing recipe when she made a cake so that the kids would get “to lick the spoon.”) Scraps were fed the cats and dogs, with dogs getting first choice to keep the cats hungry for mice. Chickens were fed by hand-spreading the corn, and while they were eating, we stole their eggs. Nana was never idle, and one of my favorite memories was wash day. I gathered small kindling while she took from the woodpile to build a large fire out in the yard next to the smokehouse. A big black three-legged pot was rolled over from its spot and set over the fire before we filled it with water from the well. From the pantry next to the kitchen, she retrieved a large bar of the lard soap that she made. All the clothing and linens were carefully spotted to make sure they would be spotless after washing. At last, the whole bar of soap and the clothes were put into the hot water in the pot and stirred with a large stick that was slick from years of use. Soon, she would take out the bar of soap to save it. While

she was stirring, I would get water from the well to fill a large washtub for the rinsing. When she was assured that they were clean, we would wring them out and attach them to the barbed-wire fence to dry in the sun. As she removed them from the barbed wire, she put them in a large cotton basket. I never saw one item get torn on that barbed wire. All the while, we had been talking and laughing and celebrating our industry. Doing the wash was like so many tasks on that farm and all the others. People went step by step. They talked as they

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FLAGPOLE.COM ∙ DECEMBER 25, 2013 & JANUARY 1, 2014

went; they gathered from the land or from products of their own hand, and the time it took was not rushed. Maybe it was because I was a child that these days and ways seem so peaceful and filled with fellowship and productivity. Maybe it is because today’s families seem too busy with too many tasks that seem to produce tension and to separate people. Maybe this is why I look back on these visits and these habits as arbiters of what not to lose from our daily lives. Maybe doing the wash is a good example of the best way to do things. f

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