Tales from the Wonder Child

A collection of stories and poems from children and young people living with the Five Rivers Fostering Family

Tales From The Wonder Child This is a multi-media book with music, audio, writing, pictures and film.

Click on the link NEXT to this symbol for your multi-media experience!

The Wonder Child “The face you had before you were born.

The creative innocent part of you that weaves joy for those around you.

The one who gets revealed when you face all the burdens and turn them into art.

The radiant one who remembers the promise that he or she came with.

Within your bold, brave, creative hearts sits the wonder child waiting to play to express, to tell, to create to share to celebrate our individual brilliant uniqueness”.

Olivia Doherty

Some children are raised in unusual circumstances. This may be a wrenching separation or abandonment, experiences of extreme overwhelm, or other suffering experienced before the young psyche is robust enough to meet the events with emotional capacity and mental understanding.

Out of these situations the child will, by necessity, develop defensive behaviours to protect the part of them that was unprotected during the vulnerable periods of suffering.

These defences will get ‘acted out’ in difficult behaviour, or ‘acted in’ in isolating, or selfdamaging behaviour. In effect they experience a deep exile from a healthy sense of self.

The deeper inner desire is to ‘come home’ to themselves. The physical space provided by a good foster home is invaluable in giving the child a taste of normality, a taste of healthy belonging, a direct experience of parental love. After that the task is to build the internal

bridges that can give the child the ‘overcoming’ abilities needed to live a life of fullness.

The way home involves developing a language for the lived experience and the strengths and values that were revealed from the ordeals.

This language is essentially an art form of any description, from poetry to painting. Yet, making sense of one’s own story through creative writing in a like-minded group brings about a homecoming of enormous value. Writing slows us down, allows space for catharsis, and invites in a capacity to release. Seeing the work from a distance, and spending time editing, then enables us to refresh the experience and include the much needed wholesome and creative ingredients. The final step then, is to share our story with an attentive and validating audience.

Phil Barber

This is an audio visual collection of poems, music, stories and films, from children and young people from Five Rivers Fostering Family.

Part One

Part Two

In November 2019, the Five Rivers National Youth council asked the Board of Directors if they could have funding to attend a writing course. Over the two-day residential, the group created haiku’s and told stories - some of them about their own lives and some from within their vivid imagination. The course was run by Care Experienced artist, author and therapist Phil Barber.

Over the years we have been collecting stories and poems from children and young people from across the organisations.

‘The Writing Course’

‘Miscellaneous Collection’

Foreword from a Young Writer At the National Youth Council 2019, we asked for funding to support us to write this book and to run a writing course. We wanted this book to give new and existing foster carers a chance to hear from us, to allow us to tell part or some of our stories, to give people an idea of what it will be like to live and work with us. We also hoped that if children read our stories it will give them the courage and the confidence to speak out to share your story and find your wonder child.

We called it ‘Tales from the Wonder Child’ because the ‘wonder child’ is a person’s dreams and wishes for trans-formation, the magic of believing change is possible and things work out in the end. We saw through our creativity we were all full of the wonder child.

My story ‘Broken’ My childhood: taken from me.

My trust: fragile.

My hope: improving.

My life has been a rollercoaster of emotions and a journey of distress. My story is different to the normal child; they have people they can call mom and dad and someone

they can trust with their life, not me.

People may ask how I am or try and put themselves in my shoes, but they will never understand the path I have walked, the things I have seen, the people that have betrayed my trust. My past will stick onto me like a leech for all eternity with nothing to remove it with.

It may define who I am, but it will not define who I will become.

I was invisible, young and had no one I could trust which destroyed me internally. I was trapped in a bottle and buried in the deep depths of my sorrowful soul. I had been taken away from the people that birthed me, the people that I should be able to trust with anything and everything and tossed with a neglectful foster family that showed no sympathy or remorse for me and my two sisters.

We were broken enough as it was. My life felt like a nightmare I could not awake from, an encumbrance I could not find my way around. We could never again feel the warm embrace of a mother, witness the effect of the smile she would give us and have the satisfaction of saying the word ‘Mum’. Same goes with my Father.

The only family I had left were my two sisters whom I was brought up to despise by my parents. This was until my blood sister started

becoming more mentally unstable and abusive to my half-sister, so she had to be removed from our household, our family. And then there were two.

We have another sister who has her own life with her two beautiful children, my niece and nephew. A couple years after moving from our first foster placement, we were told that we have a new baby sister. A sister whom will never grow up with a brother or a sister, a mother and a father, anyone related to her. She also has mental problems because my mother did not abide by the rules of pregnancy. However, this will not change who I am or who I will become.

I may not be able to forget my past, remove it from my memory but I can always make my own story and start anew. I can begin where my life started to glow and when my soul started to shine.

I was five years of age when I was removed from my family and it was not until I was seven when my sisters and I got placed with a more sympathetic family, a family that would treat us normally, a family that gave us love, a family that allowed us to be who we wanted to be.

Marilyn and Gordon Turner, two people who changed my way of thinking and

my way of life. Two people whom I owe my entire life too. These two people were the first to gain my trust, something I did not hand out willingly.

Gordon would always say “You can go down two paths in life. One path can lead to success, happiness and fortune while the other path leads to sorrow, depression and defeat�.

These words changed how I looked at things and how I dealt with obstacles.

I will always keep that quote with me until the day that I die.

For any children moving into foster care just remember you are who you want to be, not what anyone else wants you to be. Your past does not define you; it does not keep you from being who you want to be if you do not let it.

You may feel down and distraught about being removed from your family but just know you are your own unique person and that one day you will shine like me. You will love the people that look after you and you will be treated like any normal child.

Just always remember that you are never alone.

Josh Nov 2019

Chapter One The Writing Course

https://vimeo.com/434330574 A Good Kind Witch There once lived a good, kind witch. As she was a witch none of the selfish villagers even bothered to talk to her most of them despised her. Every day she, the witch, absorbed all of the untruth and hurtful comments they- the villagersthrew at her. It didn’t appear to get any better. Her grotesque, horrible parent dragons were rarely in the house. Her witch clear tears soaked her soft, light skin of her cheek, she was distraught. One dreadful, solemn day the witch felt very folorn. So she plucked up the courage to stagger to the village. When she arrived everyone started to point their grim, ugly finger nails at her. Instantly she ran until she appeared at the snow- like waterfall. As the child sat there a tear flew down her soft cheek. Then, out of the blue a much older lady gnome (that was inscripted with wrinkles) produced a slice of fine cut bread. The witch wiped away her salty tears of her cheek. She gently took the bread and thanked the gnome. The gnome told the witch to follow her so the little witch trudged along.

As she did so she told the gnome she wanted to go back to her house. The gnome replied and told her she could. The witch couldn’t believe her ears! Nobody had ever listened to her before. As soon as the little witch stepped closer to the door of her home. Immediately her ears rang with shouting and arguing. She carefully turned the mahogany key. As she did so she got shouted at left, right and centre. She told her parents that she’d just been out. So they just carried on arguing. Until there as a knock at the door it Ricocheted all around the house.

It was a small pack of elf’s that had come to take away the dragons to a dark Dungeon. Happy and delighted, she went to live with the old lady gnome that was in scripted with wrinkles The end Or was it ?

https://vimeo.com/434654437 The Chest

https://vimeo.com/433993396 Green Fresh Grass As I ambled through the green, fresh grass the most super smell entered my nose.

I felt so relaxed.

The smell of the beautiful, tremendous flowers hit me like a gush of wind.

My worn-out wellingtons absorbed in the water from the soft ground.

The clear, raindrops landed on the intricate flowers.

It was the most fabulous day I have ever had.

The bark crumbled like soft, warm biscuits.

The astonishing sky shined a brilliant blue.

I was entranced by the gorgeous birds singing, it was absolutely delightful.

There I stood hovering over the vast, ancient chest it contained.

A crinkled map of the cold, dark forest that looked 60-years old An immense, torn, fluffy coat Dry firewood that crumbled instantly like red gleaming ruby diamonds Green pretty emeralds Gold shiny necklaces that could make your eyes pop and silver, chunky rings.

I slung on the coat and placed the map in my pocket.

Then began repacking the chest.

I discarded some of the old firewood, which was elaborately laid on the sledge.

After that, I replaced it with the chest.

I began to find my way home.

Then I came to a halt.

Standing before my eyes there was the ramshackle house.

I ambled inside.

lovely s i e om My h g ul do f i t u bea I’ve a e all th s k r a She b time ged n a h e c r a c r life e t s y o m F bit e l litt y r eve it e v of I lo ged n a ch e s ’ lif It y m

My Fairy Tale Once upon a time there lived a wonderful princess called Lana. She was located at Brambles dower where the brown and the trees were non-existent.

She could never hear the hoot of the majestic owl or the hoot of flapping birds’ wings. Her life was miserable.

Her mother and father both never acknowledged her, for they were either too busy going to nearby inns or buying things that were a waste of coin. She had always wished to live in another tower with people who respected her and loved her unconditionally. She never dreamt of the night in shining armour nonsense she just wanted a normal life.

Lana would often stare at the massive hill tops and mountains just to know what it was like to love something – because they were the only thing she loved.

However, on one enigmatic evening Lana’s wishes were turned into an action. The door made three thuds – thud thud thud.

Lana thought its would be one of here parents however this was not the case.

She opened the door and to her surprise a knight from the protectors of Bramble castle had come to collect her.

https://vimeo.com/436083024 The Little Witch Once upon a time there was a little witch. A little witch who had lost all prospect. She didn’t have any dreams or aspirations, and everything she tried to do she felt as though she was awful at it. It didn’t help that life at the little witch’s cottage was dull and mundane, it almost felt as though the walls themselves oozed out depression. There was never any genuine laughter or smiles under that roof, and all of its inhabitants seemed to absorb all of the dolefulness and sorrow the cottage had to offer. The little witch’s parents struggled for money, so food and essentials were scarce.

There were nights where the little witch couldn’t even wash as hot water was too expensive.

These struggles and problems caused her mother and father to turn to drinking potions to try and forget about their problems. These potions had some bad effects on the little witch’s parents. They would argue for what seemed like hundreds of years, getting louder and louder until the little witch took to hiding under her blankets. She cried and cried until she had run out of tears and eventually the noise would stop.

Things weren’t much different at magical school either. The other witches and wizards barely acknowledging her existence, the only exception being when they looked down at her as though she were a piece of dirt on

a wall or a bit of litter on the street. Even the teachers made sure to only speak to her when they felt they had no choice. The little witch got antagonised because of her scruffy, unwashed and oversized uniform. She constantly wished she could be different. She thought, if she wished hard enough, everything might change.

She decided the only thing she could change was parts of herself. First, she no longer ate breakfast. It was okay, it was only one meal.

Then, she stopped eating lunch too. It’s okay she thought, who needs lunch as well? Finally, she refused to eat her dinner too. Smaller and smaller the little witch grew, until her jumpers looked like dresses and her legs were like matchsticks. The little witch didn’t care, perhaps if she was smaller the other witches and wizards would befriend her. Maybe if she didn’t eat her food, her mother and father would give her some attention. She kept repeating these thoughts as she struggled to get through the day, her stomach begging for sustenance and her brain banging against the inside of her skull.

Everything was getting too much for the little witch, she soon went spiralling into the depths of depression and despair. She found dark thoughts creeping their way into her mind at every possible interval, no matter how hard she tried to keep them at bay. It seemed to be no use and the little witch became engulfed

by darkness and negativity. Day by day, her thoughts would get darker and darker until there was no room left for any other.

She couldn’t take this life anymore, she felt trapped and did the only thing she could think of, she lashed out. She lashed out on herself, she stopped looking after herself, she did everything in her power to make her life as miserable as it could possibly be because she was just so angry, scared and tired. What else could she do? Her emotions had been brewing inside of her for so long and now it was starting to come to the boil.

Other witches and wizards began to notice the little witch. They saw how fragile, worn and unhappy she looked. Eventually they decided it was time for something to be done about it and they directed her to a healer. She had heard of these healers many times before but never thought she would be the one sat on the uncomfortable chair, top sticking to her back with sweat and a nervous shake in her leg.

But there she was. Feeling anxious and scared.

She had never been able to openly speak to her mother and father before as they would generally dismiss her thoughts and feelings, so the little witch was terrified of the healer judging and laughing at her.

However, the strangest thing happened. The little witch talked to the healer, tentatively at first, but gradually more and more. She found herself talking on and on. The entire

contents of her brain seemed to flow out of her through speech. She was amazed at all of the emotions she didn’t realise she even had.

Through talking she found herself discovering new feelings, solving problems and unknotting lots of knots tangled inside of her head. Over and over again she kept finding new words to say, so much so she was surprising herself.

Throwing up and spitting out all of the nasty thoughts that were infecting her brain until she couldn’t speak anymore. She would find herself crying, sobbing even, as she spoke, she cried until she physically couldn’t any longer, she felt she was losing control of her own head, it was just doing whatever it pleased and she was just the puppet. All the while, the healer sat patiently and listened.

These meetings went on for a few months, each time the little witch was unravelling new mysteries. She had no idea how all of those thoughts, feelings and words were able to cram themselves into her mind.

After a few months of divulging emotions with the healer, they both came to the conclusion that the little witch needed some extra support.

Changes needed to be made and the healer said that she would make a decision. And so, the little witch was sent off to a secure building for young witches and wizards that needed help, in a place that seemed a million miles from home.

In the beginning, it all seemed terrifying to the little witch. She felt more alone and depressed than ever before. She almost felt a sense of betrayal from the healer despite the fact that her best interests were at heart. It was cold and unfamiliar in this building and she had no idea how long she would be there for.

After what felt like one hundred years in the building, the little witch was finally allowed to leave. However, instead of going back to her little cottage, she was going to move to a different one. It was frightening at first but soon the idea grew on her.

Although it would be difficult leaving her mother and father, she knew that it was for the best. For them, and herself.

The little witch moved in with a lovely witch and wizard. They listened to the little witch, they supported her through the bad times and enjoyed the good times with her. This cottage was the opposite of her old one. Already she felt the warmth radiating off of the walls on to the people inside it. Real laughter and smiles were ever present in this cottage and the little witch

felt more at home than ever before. She didn’t have to worry about going hungry any longer, and she soon grew to be much happier and healthier than ever before.

Eventually the dark thoughts that infected her brain subsided, until eventually they disappeared. She grew bigger and much, much happier. In this moment, the little witch knew that everything was going to be okay.

https://vimeo.com/436142525 This is me Once upon a time, there was a little mouse who lived with her mum and three little micelings. Minnie had had a perfect life up until this point. She remembered what life was like before this. Before the change. Her mum had never been the angry type but ever since she met HIM, that’s when things started to change. He’d put thoughts into her head about us mice and she fell for it. He had her wrapped around his fingers. And that’s when Minnie got her first slap. She was shocked as she didn’t expect it. Not from her own mum, especially.

One hit turned into two then it became a regular thing and Minnie learnt to cope with it.

To handle it. Minnie was scared. Afraid. She didn’t know who her mum was turning into.

Who was she? She didn’t recognise her at all.

None of her micelings did.

Her brother started misbehaving in school, started off with silly, childish behaviour, turning into behaviour that certainly wasn’t like him.

He ended up being sent to a Pupil Referral Unit and that’s when he found his ‘mates’. The ‘mates’ that got up to mischief, getting into trouble with the police and her mum couldn’t cope. Not anymore. One day, it had got all too much and her brother had ended up being taken away by big, big mice professionals in black suits and sunglasses and Minnie along with her other siblings never saw him again.

Things got worse after he left. Minnie was subject to neglect and abuse but she never stopped being herself. She fought through even though it was bad. Real bad.

June 2012 This was the day.

Minnie went to school the next morning and loads of her mice friends and her teacher were staring at her but she didn’t take no notice. They looked worried. Disgusted, maybe?

Minnie knew exactly why there were staring but she carried on walking. It wasn’t until that afternoon, that one Minnie’s teachers pulled her to one side and asked if she was okay. Minnie being Minnie and all innocent, she smiled her smile and said “yes Miss, I am fine”. She noticed she had bruises and asked Minnie where she had got them from. She replied” play fighting with my micelings, miss”.

Minnie had thought she convinced her because she replied with “okay”. That was that. Minnie didn’t think anything of it but deep down she wanted to tell her. But if she had told her, she wouldn’t have believed her anyways. There was a screaming girl in her head and was desperate to get out. She was trapped in a cage and she had had enough. Tears started to fall down Minnie’s face as she was filled with emotions that had taken over her brain. She tried so hard to control herself but the tears kept streaming down her face, was this who Minnie was to become? Weak. Emotional. Damaged.

Those words pecked through her brain.

Minnie had a tough decision to make: tell teachers of the abuse she had endured or carry on with the abuse that she was enduring. Either way, everyone would be happy. The teachers would be happy as they now had something to talk about and her mum would be happy because she still had someone to take her anger out on. Minnie was her own personal punch bag. Ultimately, her mum had already chose between her own micelets and the man she had known for five minutes.

Minnie had built up the courage to do THIS. This was make or break. Life or death. It was now or never. She had to do this. For her.

Minnie walked over, to the one teacher she could trust in this school, and she and Miss Chris sat down. All Miss Chris had asked Minnie was “are you okay?” and Minnie had started crying again. She cried and cried until her eyes wouldn’t cry no more.

Minnie was sure she looked terrible with her now red, botchy eyes but Miss Chris didn’t care. She gave Minnie a big hug and squeezed her and didn’t let go.

In that moment in time, Minnie felt loved. Like never before. Sometimes Minnie had wished that Miss Chris was her own mum. She was like her real life Miss Honey.

Miss Chris didn’t pressure Minnie at all to talk straight away; she gave her time and listened. She hadn’t told her anything yet. Using up every bit of tissue Miss had given her, all her emotions were soaked and absorbed-this was what she was trying to do. It worked. Minnie looked at Miss and her eyes spoke a thousand words. She knew. All of her words

spilled out. She threw up every, single last word and all Miss Chris did: was listen. I didn’t receive any of that “I understand” or “I know what you’re going through”. She just listened.

Part of her was filled with relief. The truth had finally come out and for once, Minnie felt: reassured. She felt good.

Minnie knew that this wasn’t going to be the end of her story.

This was just the beginning.

https://vimeo.com/414809329 The Tale Behind Sweets

her life was like normal. Chloe loved her mum and that made her even sadder. She went on some rides so

Once upon a time, there lived a koala named

she could forget about his sad time but it didn’t help.

Chloe. Her dad sadly got locked up in a dungeon in the sky when she was only six and a half.

Then out of nowhere tears came again. The sweets

Chloe felt heartbroken when she found out all

tasted like the ones she had with her mum. Slowly

this information. Chloe missed her dad so much

Chloe started to spin around then hit the ground with

that she never went to any of the visiting hours.

a thud. She was in a new, different dimension.

If Chloe cried it felt like sweets were (falling?) from the sky. Whenever this happened, Chloe

A flying letter came past. She jumped up and read it.

would go outside and eat one of the sweets.

The note said, “You will go to foster care. This isn’t as

Chloe would then go to another dimension!

bad as it seems - loads of people in the world are in care and you will meet new people.”

She went to Disney Land in Florida! This was all Chloe could ever dream about! Chloe could get

At first she didn’t understand this. Then there were

anything for FREE! She was sooo excited to

no more falling sweets from the sky. There was a

start this amazing journey.

woman called Nina. Nina was the BEST carer you can ever have!

One day later, Chloe’s dad came into her mind and she cried again. Her mum wasn’t there to support her when he was like this. Chloe wished

From that day,

Chloe never ate sweets again.

Chapter Two: Miscellaneous Collection

LIFE IS EASY TO LIVE You know life was once hard to live.

My thoughts thrown around in my head. Not knowing what else was gonna happen next; scared actually.

But that was “once”; A long time ago. Once upon a time! You know how people say fairy tales always have a happy ending. Back in the day I ever believed that! I didn’t know what to do with myself. My fairy tale didn’t.

Well it didn’t until not long ago when the dilemma in the story comes to the resolution. The story plot changes track in a good way.

My thoughts all have their own set place in my mind. I know what’s gonna happen next.

I know what to do with myself now.

I have goals to achieve, places to be. I believe them people now that said fairy tales always have a happy ending so hear comes my happy ending.

LIFE IS EASY TO LIVE. Written about my changes in life and how I feel now.

The good times in life are summed up in this poem.

Blue Blue is a very busy girl under the sea, she always plays with the star fish, she is a clever girl, she eats seaweed for dinner and lunch. One day when she was running she saw a treasure chest on a end of a rainbow she had a key it opened it treasure chest she was rich.

Blue never told anyone except her sister - blues sister told everyone in the kingdom her mum and dad were so proud of her because she was rich forever in they life. Blue can you help us by saving the sea animals from the plastic.

Love and Care Foster care is not just people Foster care is a family There is a family in Inglby They are kind They look after me I feel really loved I feel really safe I love living in this place I feel part of the family I love their dog Stanley

THE MISSING JIGSAW PIECE You make the world smile MY AN You make my heart rejoice GE My mom L You help me with life skills She is a is an angel You get me through the night m Her win az ing You give me good hope gs ar You ae my sunlight and moonlight And her s e s o s oft kin as s bottom mooth You are my friend and family as a ba by’s As she You are the missing jigsaw piece flies he r wings exotic w to my puzzle. wave in inds in the I love he r Her sen sational smell blo As I pa ws in th ss by a nd sme e wind STOP … ll her .LISTEN …

All you can hea .SILENCE r is her in the w wings f ind luttering Flap….F lap Her eye s spark le in the other sunli ght like no My mom My Ang el

STICKS AND STONES

I LOVE YOU NOW AND FOREVER

Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words cannot hurt me. You are the words. Scream and shout at me all you like; I don’t care. Take everything I have. I will be struck to the ground like a tree; I’ve lived for 1,000 years of your torment. You push me down – I fall, but I get back up again. No matter how many times you push me down and I fall, I will rise again. You can’t hurt me; I’m strong; you can never pull me down; you can never rip me apart. My roots are deep; stand there and laugh while I bleed but I get up and fight back.

Sticks and stones may break my bones bur words cannot hurt me.

Go ahead, turn me down; I will stand strong; my branches are broken; my leaves fallen; but I will live on; you will never hurt me no matter how hard you punch me.

You won’t hurt me.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but you will not hurt me!

Neither will words!

You are a special person that has brought great happiness and joy into my life. You made me grow beyond your best expectations. Always know that wherever you go and whatever you do I am never going to forget you, I love you now and forever.

You are a special person that has changed my life and brought me into yours. You are one of the best people I know. You are the only person I know who has changed someone’s life. Always know that wherever you go and whatever you do I am very proud of you.

I love you now and forever.

You are a special person that I love with all my heart and will be there for, from the start. I don’t care what you do. I don’t care where you go. But please always know that whatever you do and wherever you go, I will always love you.

I love you now and forever.

It’s Sick When You Bond t’s sick when you bond I admit at first I wasn’t that fond But now seeing the baby get older and grow Im gonna be sad when she has to go So good seeing how the baby progresses How she’s walking and all her other successes Gone from barely being able to talk And in a few months she’s able to walk Being a foster sibling actually aint that bad They are like the baby siblings I never had Its nice to have another child in the house Even though they might not be as quiet as a mouse It may have its problems but positives outweigh negatives Cant think of anything bad to say to be honest Its all been worth it just as we promised From a son who’s family fosters Foster Careline

The Masks we Wear Voice: Are you ready for the interview? Don’t be late…

ME: What are they going to see? Are they going to see the real me?

What is the real me anyway? The little kid in care or the adult that cares?

Nightmare: You’re an idiot, a nothing, a loser, a creep ME: I’m a person who’s grown from all the things that she’s seen Nightmare: You’re a waster, a weirdo, a true waste of space I’m a person who’s learned from many others mistakes …

INTERVIEWER: Thank you for coming, sitting down and talking to me today.

As you know, we’re looking for a social worker, and wondered what experience you might have and what you might be able to bring to the position?

ME My CV might look empty, but its not about that ‘Cos a life’s not like a record that can be played back It goes forward, but lessons cut into the grooves Each time you learn a new thing there’s a scar that’s smoothed.

You might look at me, think that you know my kind, But no-one is who they are on the outside, I’m gonna tell my tale, I hope you understand It’s a life well spent that was never as planned Well it was always about my sister and me at the back of the class we were both thicker than thieves laughing and chatting and not doing maths We’d rather be together than to do that crap Later that same day, when we both went home Teacher looked at us strange, why he did? I don’t know And back at home mum and dad were both fighting empty bottles in the kitchen, drunk and back-biting Alone in my room with them fighting below Shouting at each other, saying change or go But there are better ways to change, if the right words spoken Cos silence can be deadly if it never gets broken Well the next day at school the teach-

er called us both in First he asked my sister if she’d stole something From the changing room, the day before, she just stayed quiet But word was out that she was a thief, and me a liar Then he looked beneath my sleeve, on my arm saw scars He asked me how they’d got there, if I‘d done myself harm?

I didn’t say nothing, he said he couldn’t hide it That a life’s not a life if you have to stay quiet Well on the way home, mum and dad were on the street Shouting insults at us, so we pretended not to see But then they came across, lost the plot, knocked me down to the ground Screaming and shouting while people just walked round The next day, social services came, Came and took both me and my sister away Then we were separated, felt like I’d nothing at all My life had no meaning was the writing on the wall And that night as I slept, I had the worst ever dream Playing back all the things that I’d

just have to try it Well after that moment, I was just given care Never truly felt alone cos there was always help there a hand to help, an ear to hear To make me laugh when I was down and to listen to my fear

once seen That I was nothing, a nobody, a waste of space

how to love Instead stuck with the story of a life so tough

A life without hope, no home, no place

And my dad was the child of a violent man Who kept him in line by raising his hand But the weed gave him freedom, at least in his head So he kept on smoking til his brain went dead

And when I woke up, it was just me in a room Just me and my thoughts, just me and this doom & I thought about the people who’d been there in my life That they were not as them seemed, when you saw them inside My mum was a kid once, the youngest of 5 Her brothers bullied and abused her most of her life But she never spoke up, never learnt

And the teacher was a man who tried to speak up Tired of the silence we all keep bottled up.

Cos a life’s not a life if you have to stay quiet And if a life’s worth grabbing then you

So I guess that’s why I’m here now, applying for this To help as I’ve been helped is my number one wish I’m a child of the state, know this system inside out Foster carer’s showed me care, offered me a way out So like I say, my CV might look empty But all the skills I need to know are deep down inside me And when I saw the job come up, I had to try it Cos a life’s not a life if you have to stay quiet …a life’s not a life if you have to stay quiet …if a life’s worth grabbing then you just have to try it

https://vimeo.com/277255994

Coronavirus Country Families are crying, Is this a Trick?

People are dying, Hide away, quick!

Children are struggling, “Stop taking the mick!”

Do your work now And do it quick!

There’s no need to fear, The doctors are here.

Lets make way..

The keyworkers will save the day!!!

https://vimeo.com/447774713

LOCKDOWN DIARY 26.4.2020 Sunday 26.4.2020 Well today was the 3rd day of our fast and I kept it!

I woke up at around half past 3 to fast! Just because I was fasting doesn’t mean I didn’t do my daily jobs. Well I did. Let’s move on now. Firstly I did my Islamic studies and then got tested in house party. Next I did all my diary work but I left 3 diaries out. Then I watched Abubakker play Fortnite for about 2 hours and then played the Lego with Usman! I built such a nice house! After, I got told to do my other diaries.

So I did them and then put all the Lego away and played cricket with Umar, Abubakker, Amaan, Usman and myself. We played a few games and then we all went inside.

After that I watched a bit of TV and then took all of my clothes from the washing line and then went back inside to fold them. Then a watched a bit more TV and then read a part of the Holy Quaran! When I finished that I came downstairs and played with a bit more Lego! Finally I could eat! So we all sat at the table and had our dinner. Then I watched TV until tajweed and then read it.

Finally after the 20 rackats it was over.

Then I went to bed.

LOCK DOWN DIARY 1.4.2020 Today I woke up at 12.30pm, which was very late because usually I get up at around 10.30. I got up and went downstairs to brush my teeth. I washed my face and went up to my room to tidy up. I went downstairs and everybody was already downstairs. I went to the kitchen and had Frosties for breakfast. I watched a movie on the new Disney plus that we have. After a while I went outside to play cricket with Kush, Abubakker and Amaan. I won most of the matches with Amaan on my team and it was very fun. After cricket we all had lunch which was egg bread and beans which is my favourite. After lunch I went upstairs to do my Islamic studies and Amaan tested me. Next I did my school work which was Physics, Biology and Maths which were easy. Once I did that I went to the kitchen to have my dinner which was rice and curry. After my dinner I went inside to play Play Station for an hour. After my Play Station I watched a bit of TV. Then I had to go upstairs so I read my book and went to a nice and easy sleep.

Weather Weather, Poor weather, Why does nobody respect him?

It’s not his fault he cries when he’s sad, Or shines when he’s happy.

It’s not his fault he puffs when he’s frustrated, Or flashes when he’s worried.

The weather is just like us.

Let’s respect him for who he is, Not what he ought to be. https://vimeo.com/447772641

That Foster Feeling Foster children, Always safe, snug and warm, Not a real worry on the earth, Some of them may say, “I feel better now.”, Others say, “I wish I was normal” But the true fact is YOU ARE NORMAL Just like you and just like me, Foster children are special because they’re safer than any “normal” family, They’re the people that bring us together, They’re that future generation, That’s why the motto is: https://vimeo.com/447772133 Changing Children’s Lives.

Her Wildest Dreams Knees shaking, hands grabbing For the bag holds the contents of her life Unable to comprehend how this could be any different A warm face, a twinkling eye They open the door to reveal a whole new world One that defies her wildest dreams They personify kindness Hearts looking to warm everything she knew They offered her love, an eternity of affection That would make everything OK Fear melts anxiety subsides As she takes her first steps, into the house, into her future She knows that this is a good thing All the weight of worry is lifted by their hearts And she finds herself thinking, for the first time in her life This is family