24 Filipino Journal
Alberta
The Pulse of the Filipino Community
July 2011
Que Sara Sara
Balitang Kutsero by Perry
Diaz
PerryDiaz@gmail.com
llustration by Dave San Pedro
S
ara called her daddy to tell her that she’s in big trouble. The conversation went like
this: Sara: Daddy, daddy, I’m in big trouble! Daddy: Why, what did you do my child? Sara: I punched the sheriff! Daddy: What? Why did you do
that? That’s an assault on an officer of the law! That’s a crime, hija. Sara: But daddy, that’s what you taught me all these years. Daddy: What did I teach you, hija? Sara: Well, didn’t you teach me that the best way to settle a dispute is to take the law into your own hands? Daddy: Dispute? Well, if that was the case, yes, you did the right thing taking the law into your own hands. Did you hit him with a dos por dos, hija? Sara: I used my bare knuckles and punched him four times! Daddy, you should have seen how I did it. My first punch hit him on the left eye and it swelled right away. Then I punched his head three times ala Pacquiao. Daddy: That’s very good, hija. But you’re not in the ring like Pacquiao. Outside the ring you can even beat Pacquiao if you do what I taught you. Sara: Daddy, I forgot to use your techniques. Tell, me again, pleeeeze. Daddy: Okay, always aim below the belt. After you punched him on the eye you should have grabbed his balls and squeeze
Calgary Transit’s new smart card gets a name The votes are in and Calgary Transit’s new electronic fare card (smartcard) has a name. More than 5,000 names were submitted and the top three names (Range, Energy and Connect) were put to Calgarians. The choice was clear. Calgary Transit’s new smart card for its electronic fare collection system, which will be launched in June 2012, will carry the name “Connect”! The electronic fare card or “smart card” will provide Calgarians with a new, more convenient way of purchasing
them the way I taught you. Sara: Oh, yeah! Now I remember. I won’t forget next time, daddy. Daddy: Attagirl! Now, tell me exactly what the dispute was all about? Sara: Well, the sheriff wanted to demolish 500 shanties of squatters in the city. The squatters called me to intervene on their behalf. Daddy: Whom did these squatters vote for last year? Sara: They voted for me, daddy. That’s why I had to intervene. That’s a lot of votes! Daddy: You did the right thing, hija. Always champion the cause of the powerless poor cuz they will always give you their votes come election time. Remember, they’re the ones that keep our dynasty in power. Sara: Yes, daddy. By the way, the Secretary of the Interior and Local Government are investigating me for the punching the sheriff. I am afraid that he might remove me from office. Daddy: Don’t worry. I’ll take care of him, hija. This is where politics plays. Our dynasty survives cuz we play politics the right way. Sara: Please tell me how you did it?
Daddy: Remember, always support the president. The secret is to know who would win the presidential election. And the key is to deliver the votes to the winner and make sure that he knows you delivered the votes. Don’t forget that in Philippine elections, there are no losers, only the winners and those who were cheated. Sara: Just like “Hello Garci,” ha? Hi hi hi… Daddy: We can do better than Garci, hija. He got caught. He he he… Sara: But there’s one problem, daddy. The media have been criticizing me for punching the sheriff. Daddy: Don’t worry, hija. I already have a plan. Sara: No, daddy, don’t hurt the media people. We don’t want to be likened to the Ampatuans. Daddy: We’re better than the Ampatuans cuz they’re all in jail now. He he he… Sara: What are going to do then, daddy? Daddy: Okay, here’s what I’m going to do. First, I’ll avail myself to be interviewed on national television. And I’ll make a statement everybody in the whole world will understand.
Mr. & Mrs. Danny Batuyong
Mr. & Mrs. Danny Batuyong and the Seupersad family hosted a party at Endeavor Art Gallary last July 16 to celebrate the post doctoral and paying their transit fare. studies of Dr. Eldridge Batuyong (standing from the right). Eldridge Customers will be able to has been accepted in Australia and Stanford University. purchase fares on-line to “load” their card with cash, rides or monthly passes. Payment will be as simple as “tapping” their card at a “reader” on buses and CTrain stations instead of having to deal with paper products or dig for change. Public Contact Information: The City of Calgary, 3-1-1 Operations Centre Phone: 3-1-1 or from outside the local calling area phone 403.268. CITY (2489)
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Sara: No kidding! What are you going say? Daddy: I’ll give the media the middle finger on TV. After that, I’ll go see the sheriff and make him an offer he cannot refuse. I’ll tell him to apologize to you for causing you to lose your temper… or else. Then I’ll go see the judge – who, by the way, is related to you by affinity – to apologize to you for issuing a demolition order without consulting with you first. And then I’ll mobilize all the barangay captains to organize a rally supporting you for what you did. Hija, I’ll make you a national hero just like Pacquiao! Sara: Thanks, daddy. You’re cool! I know you’ll always be supporting me – right or wrong! Daddy: Who said you’re wrong? Remember, we are always right and that’s why we’ll always be in power. Sara: Hoorayyyy! You know what, daddy? Daddy: What, hija? Sara: I am going to run for president, daddy! Daddy: Ay naku, ikaw talaga. Que Sara Sara, whatever will be will be. O, sige.
Congratulations Carmela on you High School Graduation